#illusion of complexity
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The Illusion of Complexity: Binary Exploitation in Engagement-Driven Algorithms
Abstract:
This paper examines how modern engagement algorithms employed by major tech platforms (e.g., Google, Meta, TikTok, and formerly Twitter/X) exploit predictable human cognitive patterns through simplified binary interactions. The prevailing perception that these systems rely on sophisticated personalization models is challenged; instead, it is proposed that such algorithms rely on statistical generalizations, perceptual manipulation, and engineered emotional reactions to maintain continuous user engagement. The illusion of depth is a byproduct of probabilistic brute force, not advanced understanding.
1. Introduction
Contemporary discourse often attributes high levels of sophistication and intelligence to the recommendation and engagement algorithms employed by dominant tech companies. Users report instances of eerie accuracy or emotionally resonant suggestions, fueling the belief that these systems understand them deeply. However, closer inspection reveals a more efficient and cynical design principle: engagement maximization through binary funneling.
2. Binary Funneling and Predictive Exploitation
At the core of these algorithms lies a reductive model: categorize user reactions as either positive (approval, enjoyment, validation) or negative (disgust, anger, outrage). This binary schema simplifies personalization into a feedback loop in which any user response serves to reinforce algorithmic certainty. There is no need for genuine nuance or contextual understanding; rather, content is optimized to provoke any reaction that sustains user attention.
Once a user engages with content —whether through liking, commenting, pausing, or rage-watching— the system deploys a cluster of categorically similar material. This recurrence fosters two dominant psychological outcomes:
If the user enjoys the content, they may perceive the algorithm as insightful or “smart,” attributing agency or personalization where none exists.
If the user dislikes the content, they may continue engaging in a doomscroll or outrage spiral, reinforcing the same cycle through negative affect.
In both scenarios, engagement is preserved; thus, profit is ensured.
3. The Illusion of Uniqueness
A critical mechanism in this system is the exploitation of the human tendency to overestimate personal uniqueness. Drawing on techniques long employed by illusionists, scammers, and cold readers, platforms capitalize on common patterns of thought and behavior that are statistically widespread but perceived as rare by individuals.
Examples include:
Posing prompts or content cues that seem personalized but are statistically predictable (e.g., "think of a number between 1 and 50 with two odd digits” → most select 37).
Triggering cognitive biases such as the availability heuristic and frequency illusion, which make repeated or familiar concepts appear newly significant.
This creates a reinforcing illusion: the user feels “understood” because the system has merely guessed correctly within a narrow set of likely options. The emotional resonance of the result further conceals the crude probabilistic engine behind it.
4. Emotional Engagement as Systemic Currency
The underlying goal is not understanding, but reaction. These systems optimize for time-on-platform, not user well-being or cognitive autonomy. Anger, sadness, tribal validation, fear, and parasocial attachment are all equally useful inputs. Through this lens, the algorithm is less an intelligent system and more an industrialized Skinner box: an operant conditioning engine powered by data extraction.
By removing the need for interpretive complexity and relying instead on scalable, binary psychological manipulation, companies minimize operational costs while maximizing monetizable engagement.
5. Black-Box Mythology and Cognitive Deference
Compounding this problem is the opacity of these systems. The “black-box�� nature of proprietary algorithms fosters a mythos of sophistication. Users, unaware of the relatively simple statistical methods in use, ascribe higher-order reasoning or consciousness to systems that function through brute-force pattern amplification.
This deference becomes part of the trap: once convinced the algorithm “knows them,” users are less likely to question its manipulations and more likely to conform to its outputs, completing the feedback circuit.
6. Conclusion
The supposed sophistication of engagement algorithms is a carefully sustained illusion. By funneling user behavior into binary categories and exploiting universally predictable psychological responses, platforms maintain the appearance of intelligent personalization while operating through reductive, low-cost mechanisms. Human cognition —biased toward pattern recognition and overestimation of self-uniqueness— completes the illusion without external effort. The result is a scalable system of emotional manipulation that masquerades as individualized insight.
In essence, the algorithm does not understand the user; it understands that the user wants to be understood, and it weaponizes that desire for profit.
#ragebait tactics#mass psychology#algorithmic manipulation#false agency#click economy#social media addiction#illusion of complexity#engagement bait#probabilistic targeting#feedback loops#psychological nudging#manipulation#user profiling#flawed perception#propaganda#social engineering#social science#outrage culture#engagement optimization#cognitive bias#predictive algorithms#black box ai#personalization illusion#pattern exploitation#ai#binary funnelling#dopamine hack#profiling#Skinner box#dichotomy
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My understanding of evil, age 0-10: MY NAME IS SMOG SMOKESLY AND I RUN THE POLLUTION FACTORY, IT PRODUCES POLLUTION!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
My understanding of evil, in my teens: You can't really boil things down to good and evil. People are complicated. Everyone is the hero of their own story, and someone who seems evil to you is actually doing their best from their own perspective. If you could walk a mile in their shoes, you'd understand. There is no such thing as evil.
My understanding of evil, in my twenties: Look, it's basically just tribalism. We are all necessarily thrust into competition with one another. There are always going to be winners and losers. Whining about evil is just being upset that you lost the game.
My understanding of evil, in my thirties: MY NAME IS SMOG SMOKESLY AND I RUN THE POLLUTION FACTORY, IT PRODUCES POLLUTION!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
#one of the hardest pills to swallow growing up#was understanding that the world actually isn't that complicated#it really is just greed#power-lust#cruelty#and hate#that are ruining society#people are making the world worse out of spite#not because they get something out of it#but because they get off on seeing you lose something#evil really is uncomplicated and simple like a saturday morning cartoon#it has been all along#it only pretends to have nuance#because the illusion of complexity makes it marketable to new suckers
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none of the me3 endings are clean or easy, which is a good thing because if there was some miracle solution that ended without sacrifice or loss or unpleasantness, it would take away from the weight of the narrative. but the destroy ending is the only one that doesn't feel like a trap or morally repugnant to the point where it's unjustifiable. you're forced to take up the mantle of butcher to achieve victory and peace, but at least you're not acting out of naïvety, you don't turn into the very thing you vowed to destroy—or god forbid, bend the whole galaxy to your will at the atomic level.
#this is still the I hate synthesis blog#control is messed up in many ways -- I can only see it for renegade shepards with superiority complexes#'rip to the illusive man but I'M different'#but it's so funny to me that destroy is presented by the game as the renegade option when it's the only choice I could even live with makin#and synthesis -- the GREEN one -- is like the devil incarnate#I know the devs didn't think it through even a little bit. but im playing the game and IM thinking it through#Shepard's been through too much bullshit not to think it through#milky.txt
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#art#artists on tumblr#comics#mentalhealth#mentally unwell#actually mentally ill#mental health#trauma#complex ptsd#childhood trauma#the illusion of choice#meme#shitpost#actuallyabused#actuallytraumatised
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tmbg lyrics really scratch that particular itch for me of writing that is somehow both literal and direct and elliptical and metaphorical.
#tmbg#they might be giants#there's metaphorical writing where you understand it right away.#but a metaphor is being used to communicate abstract ideas or complex concepts that are otherwise difficult to succinctly explain#and the comparison is the best way to get everybody on the same page. so it's purposefully something you're supposed to immediately Get.#but I love magic eye illusion-level obfuscation where the lyrics seem dreamlike at first and appear to mean nothing at all#then you take a step back and it makes Perfect sense once you clear the filter of defamiliarisation#and it's so clever and admirable how the subject has been approached that way.#but I equally love the rambling stream of consciousness verbosity#of a character reciting their direct unromantic thoughts that feel as if they should be clunky#but have every syllable and sound carefully chosen in order to flow perfectly.
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I am actually having so many thoughts about bg3 characters when it comes to body image bc themes of bodily autonomy are just so present in this game
#like. astarion and halsin are the obvious ones for this bc astarion doesn’t even know what he looks like and halsin is halsin#but the others?? karlach literally having her body taken apart and put back together by zariel?? wyll forcibly being changed by mizora??#the very common headcanon that gale’s abs are an illusion?? shadowheart’s overall trans vibes? lae’zel whose body has been seen as a weapon#jaheira and her whole anti-ageing scroll can be taken in a different direction too. hell even minthara’s torture by orin#the emperor and what it means to have been a man and now something Else? i could even see it with the selûnites bc of their circumstances#there’s just SO SO MUCH to explore here and I’m gonna do it as soon as my computer finishes its download#bg3#ALSO. raphael. bc haarlep is an idealised version of himself lbr. and my last tav (denandras) definitely has some complex feelings about it
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JOHN ROWENA FIGHT?!!!!
You see? Yes!!!! Specifically, I want her to make him cry.
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Ref to John versus later-seasons characters:
John is butting heads with Rowena:
Because it would amuse me personally if she were able to make him cry. Also, no one would stop her. That's just Rowena's way. She gets away with things like this.
On a serious note, Rowena is shifting much of self-hatred of her Past Self onto John, and it’s delicious. All of her failures as a parent can now be safely expressed, and she’s petty enough to indulge (because John is a dick and he *reacts* like one of those kindergarten volcanoes)
John likes to stir shit up? Well, he can’t out-shit-stir Rowena MacLeod. No siree.
RE: The potential of a John & Cas fight
It's not that I think he wouldn't fight with Cas. I just think Cas, at least in later seasons, might be relatively disciplined and composed in the face of John Winchester's anger. (I think a bit about how Cas is pretty successful in gray-rocking Lucifer, for example.)
Also, Cas's background as a soldier means John might even suck up to Cas in some respects.
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But I think there's a strong element of it arising from a situational issue... John pushes people away (at least part of the reason for so many falling out situations later in life), but he seems particularly triggered and afraid when people leave. (Or lie. Or underprepare him. Or treat him like a damsel/child.)
In the fight with Sam in Dead Man's Blood, John is totally freaking out because he’s paranoid/afraid of everything being too much to handle and not being able to protect everyone, but also he prominently screams at Sam:
JOHN: “You left. Your brother and me, we needed you. You walked away, Sam. (Yelling in SAM’S face) You walked away!”
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I think it’d be so cool if through Plot Reasons, it’s when Cas left and came *back* that John got triggered.
Maybe after Cas does one of his abrupt, unannounced departures that has Dean frantically checking the phone. And John gets Weird(TM) about it because it gets all tied up with John’s unresolved feelings about Henry leaving.
It's about the whiplash, about how someone who's been up now unreliable and unshakeable suddenly leaves out of the blue. John could come unglued. Also. Like Sam, I think John wouldn't like a dose of his own medicine very much...
Imagine if we carry it further: Imagine transference. Imagine John getting mad at Cas on Dean’s behalf. Like, Dean would be struck silent, and very very confused.
JOHN: “DEAN NEEDS YOU HERE!” etc etc. The delicious hypocrisy!
And just... it’d be such a delicious mess! Not to mention, it could echo Dean getting mad at Henry on John’s behalf in As Time Goes By:
DEAN: “He thought you ran out on him! Your responsibility was to your family, not some glorified book club!”
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Other thoughts:
Cas is, on the whole, I think more composed than John, and much more barbed when he wants to make a point, maybe.
If Cas ever lost his temper with John, I can easily see it being over Jack’s safety. And Cas would say something low and angry, meant only for John's ears, like, “If something happens to Jack because of YOUR stupidity, I will tear you limb from limb.”
Then we’d get a long shot of John after the fact, staring after Cas in an impressed way, thinking, “Hell yeah. This guy would tear me limb from limb over his kid and I am so approving of that attitude.”
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Otherwise, I think they’re the type to fight about specific things, like disagreeing on strategy.
Anyway, I just love when everything is discordant and confusing. <3
#reposting the john part too because i have... a lot of john asks that remain in limbo sorry so sorry SO SORRY#anyway#rowena vs john winchester#other anon#i'm still working on thinking about how cas would interact with john#i think overall they would be wary and avoidant of each other unless disagreeing on specific things? idk i have to think more#as of right now i think john is more likely to explode at cas than the reverse#but he'd use the transference to make it seem on dean's behalf and that would be so delicious to me because it'd throw everyone for a loop#ANYWAY#i'm still thinking#TBD#complex john#rowena and john#cas and john#cas gets along fairly well with lucifer is the thing#on the other hand i *think* rowena might try to work john up whenever he's annoying her or being mean#she'd like the challenge#rowena: family relations are a specialty of mine#sam: *trying so HARD to be MATURE and not fight with john*#rowena: *meanwhile reading sam's need to fight with john and doing it FOR him*#that way sam can retain the illusion of Maturity
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actually if i can speak fondly about scientology for a moment. i really liked the "how to use a dictionary" course we took. like fundamentally a huge reason i was such a big reader as a kid is because of that course, and learning from a young age that the basic principles to learning a new word are:
1. look up the word and find its derivation so you know where it came from.
2. find the definition of the word that fits your context.
3. define the word in your own terms so its definition is solid in your mind.
4. make up sentences using the word until it feels comfortable for you.
5. repeat all previous steps with the other definitions of the word.
was all like. kind of vital to me discovering how cool books are, and how impactful language can be. scientology k-2 not that bad. unfortunate that quite literally every other aspect of it was incredibly damaging.
#lack of mass skipped gradient misunderstood word you were such good concepts.#it's a shame that what gets built on you is like. 'cancer is an illness of the spirit that can get audited out' jalfkalk#'if you resent the authority in your life consider that maybe the authority has never done anything wrong and your anger is just misplaced-#guilt for wronging your authority'#'the power of scientology means that if your spirit is strong enough someone else's 'no' can always be converted to a 'yes''#like man i just thought the clay demos were a fun idea why are you doing all the rest of that to an 11 year old...#ALSO for the record i'm not under the illusion that scientology is the only place in the world that teaches you how to use a dictionary#it just so happens to be where i was taught to use a dictionary.#but like i'm aware other people have learned these steps through other means#because they're literally not complex or groundbreaking at all and in fact should be standard#anyways. smiles serenely. parsing through the good and bad of an overall bad group you give me boundless opportunity to reflect.#god bless.#sorry lrh bless
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The hyper-veneration and almost fetishization of the USA's troops have honestly given rise for some of the worst types of people who want power without effort, I think.
It's why you see some entitled asshole troop who think they can do whatever to civilians because we "owe" them for them "putting their lives on the line" or the type of person who thinks they personally will stick it to a random Afghan civilian for what "their people" did on 9/11 (a racist institution fostering racism? Colour me shocked (sarcasm)).
As a US citizen, I'm personally really concerned with this attitude we have toward troops. As somebody who hates the institution of the military, I also hate that it fosters a genuinely toxic mindset - it's much like the mindset that is instilled in cops; however, when you are overseas, the people you harm are not typically US civilians, so people can sweep under the rug the injustice of terrorizing civilians who aren't "like us."
#politics#had somebody go 'do you know i am a VETERAN?!?!?!?!' to justify why he was being a complete knobhead...#...chances are he hasn't stepped foot on a military base sure but... it wouldn't shock me if he WERE in the military...#...like my dad was enlisted in the aftermath of 9/11 and the amount of meatheads who ranted and raved about 'getting back'...#...like they were batman going after the joker was EMBARRASSING. you aren't a comic book hero ffs...#...and honestly that's what broke the illusion of the troops being like... uniquely special...#...and the military thrives off of this illusion because it is its shield. the more we venerate this idea of the American Hero...#...the more justification it has to continue existing as it does.#gd bless the people victimized by the US military complex. the people suffering the most from US occupation#being a military kid really made me hate the military industial complex at an early age lol#fuck the military
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thinking abt what you said with house viewing Benny as a son and I’m obsessed. Like. The man spent most of his life before the war presumably alone, and then after the bombs fell he was alone again, save for AI he himself devised. Then he decides to pull in some Tribes, and one kid shows promise! So sure, treat him well, train him, groom him to be his protege, then next thing you know UH OH he’s got developing paternal feelings towards this guy. Wanting some semblance of a family when the time has long since passed, yet fostering that feeling all the same seems so accurate for him. Benny meanwhile only views him as a boss, and not a particularly good one at that. makes me wonder how House must’ve felt when he found out about Bennys plans
I view it as House blames only himself for this, cause he kind of does in canon (strap in this is a long one).
When reflecting on the issue of Benny, House chastises himself first and foremost for not acting quickly enough when it comes to priming Benny. He describes Benny as being ambitious, ruthless and capable; compliments coming from a man like House. House has an ego and while he is logical enough to understand there was never any evidence Benny saw him as a father-figure, he lacks the humility to admit he let his own views on his relationship with Benny blind him to the activities happening behind the scenes.
I doubt that House was as aware as he makes out about what Benny was doing, he knew early on but certainly not early enough to stop Benny from hacking and obtaining a securitron along with getting the chip in the first place. I take it he was distracted by all the possibilities he was calculating of Vegas' success and growth with him steering and Benny as the new figure head, not because of any normal affection for Benny but the admiration of his capabilities. It's to be noted that House believed menial incentives (likely caps, booze, basic needs, etc..) were enough to keep Benny tame like the other Chairmen but, as evidenced by the Omertas and Mortimer in the WGS, this is not enough when it comes to more driven Vegas citizens. This implies he still undervalued Benny and created a space in which Benny felt the need to rebel.
House in my eyes is not sentimental in the traditional sense. I can imagine his pride was severely scorned as someone he certainly deemed dumber than him was, albeit only for a little, able to out-gambit him. It would definitely hit home seeing how his brother also betrayed him but I feel like that's why he's so apathetic when he tells the Courier to do as they see fit with Benny. I doubt the way he terrorized his brother brought him any emotional satisfaction other than a "Now who's in charge!" ego boost. Putting that same emotional intensity towards Benny isn't worth it because who does it benefit? Wasted time, wasted planning, and most importantly wasted potential are all he gets from continuing to be hands-on with Benny. I say the closest example is not being able to throw out old toys due to the memories attached but knowing it's necessary as they are broken or just taking up space for new ones, and then asking someone else to do it so you don't need to get caught up in the feelings of throwing something you put so much effort into. It's not Benny House cares about in my mind, not in a way that sounds healthy to any non-emotionally constipated individual, but what he could've represented for him, which is why he so quickly offers the same position to the Courier.
As for Benny's view on all of this, it was a long time coming. Benny didn't and doesn't believe House is a completely shitty boss. He admires what he's been shown and admits House knows how to run the strip, but disagrees with the directions. Ideologically, House is an anarcho-capitalist while Benny is just an anarchist. House wants to run the strip to profit, though money is not what he's concerned with being rich with anymore. Benny wants a free state that he wishes to become a place for the people, except for the Chairmen who would be on top (I like to remind people that Benny's motives were selfish but not for personal gain/power as was it for the people he actually saw as family). Benny was never looking for a father but a future. He was not interested in being adopted, or having the chairmen adopted, as bigger names still overshadowed in House's legacy.
Truly, it's easiest to summarize as House feeling strongly and thinking positively enough of Benny to start incorporating him into the future of Vegas (a huge honor actually) while Benny was so disillusioned by House's ego and indifference that he thought the only way Vegas could be the future is with House gone.
#tdlr House saw Benny as the perfect face of his Legacy while Benny saw his legacy as a stagnant mosquito infested pond#its more complex as house certainly would of been irate if he hadn't known and the courier came to kick benny's ass#but more someone being mad youre fucking with their things#i likely thing that even in a more traditional father son relationship House is conditional and would force Benny to confrom more to his#standards as I also believe the Chairmen are more tightly monitered due to bennys unique relation to house and being the first tribe#so itd be smothering and oppressive for someone like Benny even though imposing his beliefs and standards would be how House shows affectio#and fatherly praise which would result in Benny probably wanting to act out even more. like the only way a father son dynamic is healthy an#works is if house would relent some control and show he sees benny as an equal which would never happen cause its house but its still tragi#to me cause house has that longing for something more personal to him than Vegas and tries to fill it with progress cause its rather hard#to create those bonds in the state he is in and benny was the closest thing to that and even that he inadvertently ruined#but on benny house kinda ruined him cause the chairmen for all intents and purposes liked and trusted benny as a leader after bingo who#benny really only killed because of the illusions of grandeur house put into a young impressionable mind and how bingo refused to hear him#not to absolve him of his wrongdoings and being a dick but benny didnt just attack bingo he challenged him and won and in the end while#nostalgic none of the chairmen choose to leave and go back to the old way which says something cause they can leave#this is long and honestly should a seperate post on benny cause i have thoughts on him and how more people need to add his all roads traits#to get a cohesive picture of how hed really act#benny gecko#benny fnv#fallout#fallout new vegas#robert edwin house#mr house fnv#mr house#ask#anon#sorry if this is confusing I have very indepth thoughts on all aspects and possibilites on how unhealthy and power inbalancey anything#with house would be but this is so interesting cause its oddly vulnerable for house of all people to disclose this to the courier
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well maybe i should try & sleep again. maybe itll work this time. praying
#PLEAAAAAASE let me rest#i will be thinking about absintheee. i think his parent had a way of keeping him looking relatively young up until they died#like a sort of weird illusion that dissipated along with their life. & he had to adjust to being Grown & looking Different very suddenly#ok fine.#nierposting#absinthe#even if the post itself isnt about him.#probably as part of like. magic they developed upon contracting wcs. keeping absinthe stuck in this 'idealised' version of him#& absinthe never really noticed he stopped growing until he was thrown into the body of an adult#this was not good for dysphoria. he spent a good amount of time making no real progress on anything bc he was that distraught#over killing them. & over very much feeling like hes in the wrong body bc it didnt happen gradually#& more or less working out it was his parent's doing Somehow... ahhh the complex feelings.
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Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )
#And Kouyou!!!!#Also. I can say Steinbeck is kinda 👀👀👀#King of the specific category of “I forget I like him until he's on screen”#I'm seriously unlocking memories with this rewatch. Like I haven't thought about it in two years–#but I just know when I was watching the anime for the first time I was being like#“Of COURSE the villains need to spend several minutes each episode explaining in detail how their own superpowers work so that the–#protagonists can get a perfect idea of how to best counter them. Why are villains made so freaking stupid in this show” aljhvwslchvqliyqwb#But. Eh. I guess that's just bsd to you.#Alsoooooo random thought of the day: I don't really favour how Tanizaki's ability was adapted in the anime.#I very well understand they were going for this green Matrix-like illusion effect‚ but every time someone says “... Snow?”#I'm like please explain where do you live that has snow glowing green.#Aamsjgvfaskjhfv sorry this is me being very. Cranky and nitpicky and having terrible audience etiquette in refusing to–#engage in suspension of disbelief. It just bugs me akvakcvqkyb I just feel like... Green is such a non-snow color–#that quite of completely disrupts the Light Snow / Sasame Yuki aesthetic. I would have liked it much better light blue or simply white.#What else. The way the Guild just goes on at stereotypes still troubles me a lot. The “usamericans can't be touched by laws–#because they use money to corrupt anyone” “foreign criminal organization come in our country to corrupt our pure and untouched soil”#Idk. Maybe all of it is true. Can it still be deemed a stereotype when it's objectively something that's happened before–#and will probably keep happening?#I suppose I'm just not a fan of the constant hostility against any foreigner. Idk.#This situation besides is extremely ironical. If you meet me irl it probably won't take long to see me being very outspoken about–#how much I despise usa cultural colonization of all other countries. It's something that really bothers me‚ how rooted and pervasive–#their influence is. So in a lot of ways I can relate to the author's sentiment#I just feel that. If you start treating them as stereotypes and ignore the complexity of a country and the wide spectrum of causes–#that contribute to its attitude in international relations. You end up practicing precisely what you're trying to criticize.#Okay this is the last time I'm getting into the politics of the Guild arc lol#random rambles#This time I took watching the episode slow I feel a little late
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"Shared Illusion" by Nestor
This striking pencil drawing portrays humanoids intricately connected with numerous cables and machines, illustrating a shared illusion of reality. Ships sink into a swirling vortex, while a landscape featuring pyramids and crystals looms in the background. The artwork serves as a critique of technological dependence and invites viewers to reflect on the complexities of human existence and perception.
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#Humanoids, #TechnologicalDependence, #SharedIllusion, #Reality, #IntricateConnections, #PencilDrawing, #SurrealArt, #ConceptualArt, #ArtByNestor
#Humanoids#Technological Dependence#Shared Illusion#Reality#Intricate Connections#Cables#Machines#Sinking Ships#Swirling Vortex#Pyramids#Crystals#Background Landscape#Critique#Human Existence#Perception#Thought-Provoking#Dark Art#Pencil Drawing#Surreal Art#Conceptual Art#Artistic Commentary#Visual Metaphor#Complexities of Life#Gothic Aesthetic#Artistic Exploration#Art By Nestor#Symbolism#Visual Journey#Human Condition#Dystopian Art
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:/ turns out i haven't bothered to learn anything for piano in THREE YEARS oh no................
#rubia speaks#it's not that big of a deal like i haven't really craved to play piano or else i would have#and when i feel like playing an instrument i prefer to play guitar. or sometimes ukulele#but not being able to play piano skillfully feels like a failing to me. i felt the same way before i took up crochet again#years ago i got it in my mind that i have to be jack of all trades proficient at all#as if it's.... not enough to do well all of the things i already do well? it's overcompensatory for sure.#i would be in awe of someone with even a quarter of the skills i have but because it's me i feel like i have to make up for being me#by being good at more things#but my knowledge is only at the depth of parlor tricks. i can play a song and a half. i can make a square or a border#but if i have to read complex sheet music or any crochet chart or written pattern my illusion of knowledge crumbles to dust#i might like to take up piano again though at some point. if only to finish learning Goodbye Yellow Brick Road#i was getting kind of fine at playing it. i'm a little bit sad i stopped#(and i do intend to learn more crochet 100%. someday i will learn more things for it)
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#♕*.ooc#|| I love that every family tree speculation / explanation video includes even Millicent and her sisters but forget Rya#|| even if people believed she is only somewhat related via adoption (which is also plausible theory)#|| like you could point evidence either way - whether she is actually related or not#|| I don't know how politics in ER deal with adoption but at least no gender specific bs about who can be heir#|| she is still only and recognized daughter to Lady Tanith who is consort to Lord Rykard#|| and possibly her name was changed to Rya to fit in tradition of naming and keep up an illusion there is continuous lineage#|| but maybe to Rya's luck she is ignored - no one pursues her for her piece of fortune as they are unaware of her... for now#|| that would be interesting plot point too - like what - there is actually someone in Rykard-Carian line??#|| I love complex schemes in roleplay#|| she has no real desire for power but her pride towards family
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“Isn’t it weird to consider how so many versions of yourself exist in other people’s minds?
Some may see you as a reserved person who rarely speaks, and some may see you as someone who never stops talking. Some may view you as kind and caring, while others interpret you as cold and distant.
The truth is the “you” people perceive is an illusion that is constructed based on conditioning and environmental influences such as fear, greed, and other ego-driven factors. The genuine you resides beyond all these perceptions by simply observing.
This true self isn’t separate from anyone else because there is no inherent separation. We are all leaves interconnected on the same tree.
It’s funny, you can’t find the same person twice, even in the same person.”
—Unknown
#identity#perception#reflection#illusion#perspective#biases#existence#complexity#conditioning#influence#environment#ego#emotions#emotional intelligence#evolving#transformation#observe#human experience#insights#philosophy#personal#0724
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