#im always bargaining with myself like

[megah3rz]

i just plucked off like half of my eyebrows. we twinning

it wasn't even on purpose. my impulsions won today

[celestial-sapphicss]

.

[soptastic]

.

[mclqren]

OUT AT THE OPERA ★ LN4

PAIRING ✦ lando norris x fem!opera singer!reader

SUMMARY ✦ lando's relationship with his aspiring opera singer girlfriend had always had the internet in awe, but especially when they find out just how they met to begin with, or rather who helped them meet. [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ none, i think!

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ reader is australian. implied age of reader is between 22 & 23. the fc i've used is darianka sánchez, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are closed at the moment.

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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 52,331 others

yourusername living my dream life 💄

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user1 Y/N L/N LADIES AND GENTSSSS

user2 leave lando for me? (please)

user3 SO REALLL

user4 lando norris you lucky lucky man

user5 okay but a minute for the dress?? wowww

yourusername right?! it was suchhh a bargain!

user6 NIGHT AT THE OPERA?!

landonorris wowww look at you 😍😍

yourusername love you sm ❤️

user7 MY PARENTSSS

lilyzneimer my girl foreverrr 🩵

yourusername my lilsss 💗💗

landonorris missing my koala extra hard rn 😔

yourusername you cannot call me a koala just because im australian

landonorris yeah i can - you're a koala and oscar is a kangaroo

oscarpiastri oh ffs lando not again 🤦‍♂️

liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux and 51,660 others

tagged fransisca.cgomes

yourusername when in paris 🩶

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user8 SHE'S IN PARIS??

user9 yup!! on her story she posted about getting the offer to watch the opera in paris, and so she went to stay with kika for a bit!

user10 i loveee seeing you achieve ur dreams

yourusername ❤️❤️

user11 y/n is so effortlessly gorgeous oh myyy

user12 lando is so lucky my oh my

user13 the way all of her posts are so aesthetically pleasing pleases my soul so much you have no idea

fransisca.cgomes you musttt come back im missing you already 😔😔

yourusername cant wait to see you in my home this time ❤️

user14 Y/N GOING TO MELBOURNE CONFIRMED??

user15 well duh she is literally from australia lol

landonorris couldn't have taken me with you huh 😔😔

yourusername mr clingy i think you'll manage another two days without me

landonorris noooo come back soon please ☹️

alexandrasaintmleux oh myyy 🫶

yourusername alex i love you 💗

liked by yourusername, user16 and 344,921 others

tagged yourusername

f1wagss Who is Lando Norris' girlfriend? Y/N L/N is a music graduate from Australia, who's currently in the process of working to become an opera singer. Though we don't know much of how the McLaren driver came to meet Y/N, they're rumoured to have gotten together around June 2023, and their relationship has been the talk of F1 fans for many months, due to their internet presence & instagram posts together. We love you, Y/N! 🫶

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user16 THE MOST PERFECT WAG

user17 speak on it admin!! we love herrr 🗣️🗣️🗣️

user18 y/n marry me challenge GO!!

user19 urmm she's acc already married to me so??

user20 her and lando are so perfect together though i cant

user21 no fr??

user22 so basically she doesnt work? 🤣🤣

user23 judgy much??

user22 im just sayinggg lando can do so much better

user24 im pretty sure lando can do without you fighting in his corner sweetie ❤️

yourusername awww thanks!! im so honored to have a post to myself like this!💗

user25 PEOPLE'S PRINCESS HAS ARRIVEDDD

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tagged landonorris

yourusername no better feeling than being back down under 🇦🇺❤️

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user25 you can tell how much she loves being back in australia, its the sweetest

user26 oh absolutelyyy

user27 lando in the last slide 🥺🥺

user28 he's so good w kids i canttt

user29 y/n l/n you have done it againnn

user30 meeting her would mean that my life's goals are complete.

user31 as a fellow aspiring opera singer, you are such an inspiration to me, i love you and your content so much ❤️

yourusername awww im so glad!! ur so sweet 💗

oscarpiastri rare picture of lando not terrorising little children?

yourusername i know i was shocked too

landonorris guys i DO NOT terrorise little children

yourusername you growled once at my three year old cousin and now she's scared of you

landonorris stop i love maria tell her im sorry ☹️

landonorris finally reunited ❤️

yourusername lando we were apart for a week and im currently thirdwheeling you and max i think i'd rather go back to missing you again

maxfewtrell im very sorry y/n didn't mean it ☹️

yourusername ur excused bc i love ur girlfriend 💗💗

lilyzneimer MCLAREN WAGS ON TOUR ‼️

yourusername MCLAREN WAGS ON TOUR ‼️‼️

yourusername @/maxfewtrell JOIN IN

maxfewtrell MCLAREN WAGS ON TOUR ‼️‼️‼️

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tagged lilyzneimer, maxfewtrell, keeganpalmer

yourusername MCLAREN WAGS ON TOUR ‼️

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user33 THE CAPTION HAS ME CREASING

user34 the way she's acknowledged it is acc making me laugh sm

user35 you and lily are my fav wags fr

user36 max and keegan in the last slide 🤣

keeganpalmer favorite aussie 🦘🦘

yourusername favourite american 🦅🦅

keeganpalmer i see we'll have to disagree on the spelling of 'favorite' 😔

lilyzneimer I LOVE YOUU!!

yourusername had the best day running from media with you lils ❤️

user37 'running from media' THEY'RE SO REAL

landonorris without me? 😔

yourusername we're all mclaren wags mate you're a mclaren DRIVER you don't make the cut 🙅‍♀️

landonorris ☹️☹️☹️

oscarpiastri is this not that arcade from when we were kids 🤣

yourusername IT ISSS!! I WOULD ALWAYSS BEAT YOU AT BASKETBALL LOOLLL

user38 SORRY?? WHEN WE WERE KIDS I BEG YOUR PARDONNN??

user39 HAVE WE MISSED A CHAPTER ORRR

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tagged landonorris, keeganpalmer

yourusername week at home coming to a close, sydney week opening up again ✈️

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user44 SHE'S IN SYDNEY? OH MY GODDD

user45 what does she mean week at home?

user46 she's from melbourne!!

user47 okay now TALK ON UR FRIENDSHIP W MR PIASTRI

user48 NO REALLL THE FANS WANT TO KNOW

user49 MISS L/N HOW DID YOU MEET OSCAR

landonorris blue is your colour 😍😍

yourusername i thought you said papaya was my colour??

landonorris yeah well anything is your colour to be fair

oscarpiastri my best friend guys 🤣❤️

yourusername oscar STOP we have the internet in shambles as it is

oscarpiastri y/nnn don't ruin my fun ‼️

YOUTUBE [ 'Pre Race Interviews Extended: Melbourne ]

yourusername

( caption 1: im a teensy bit scared right now 😭 | caption two: night of my dreams is over 💗 love you sydney 🦘🇦🇺 )

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yourusername WOWWW where do i even begin!! ever since i was a little girl i DREAMT of being able to perform in the sydney opera house, and to think i've now been able to say i've been there, done that is crazy! could never have done it without my best friend, who took me here for my 22nd birthday last year, and my boyfriend, who i met on said birthday. feeling extra grateful today, thank you all sm for the love. 💗

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user53 THE WOMAN YOU ARE MISS L/N.

user54 if i had vocals like you i'd never stop singing oh my days

user55 THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL FRRR

user56 admittedly i originally looked at ur content for lando, but im so obsessed with you now its crazy

user57 oh she's everything and more.

oscarpiastri so proud of you ❤️

yourusername lots of love for you osc 💗💗

lilyzneimer watching you live tonight was everything 😍😍 can't wait to do it all over again 🩵🩵

yourusername loved having you there sm my angel 💗

carmenmmundt @/georgerussell63 we're going next time for sure 🤩💘

yourusername carm i love you to pieces 💗

landonorris my koala. forever the proudest of you ❤️🐨

yourusername can't even retire the nickname for this cute little post??

landonorris you know you love me really 🤣❤️

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[santanasaintmendes]

“i wish i was who you drunk texted at midnight”

wc!: 5.2k (i’m sorry i’ve got serious problems 😔)

ollie bearman x reader + childhood friends to ?

warnings: angst asf, heartbreak, swearing, let me know if there are any more!

summary: after moving to Chelmsford you meet ollie, the two of you quickly become friends but unfortunately you fall for Ollie. he moves away for f2 and leaves you, until he’s supposed to race in Jeddah. you fly there only to gain more than what you bargained for

type: angst (cliff hanger ending IM SORRY)

a/n: this is just something I wrote because I was sick in bed the last few days, it’s super long but so hope yall like it! Also i’m sorry if it’s bad lol i am still sick and this is just something i wrote for fun to entertain myself. ALSO no hate to Estelle Ogilvy (is that how i spell her last name) i just used her for the plot of the story please don’t come after me. Also the last speech part is heavily inspired by the scene in Spider man into the spider verse where jeffords talks to miles and says the whole speech (still makes me cry every time). The name is inspired by “drunk text” by Henry Moodie, please give it a listen it’s such a good song, enjoy xxx

They say that you should always be friends with the person you like before you start to fall for them. Well, that’s one thing you could check off the list if you looked back on your friendship with Ollie. The truth was, being in love with your best friend sucked. Friends can break your heart too, something people tend to forget. 

6 and 6 

The first time you ever met Ollie was in a library. A week prior to that you had moved to a strange town named Chelmsford. A name that 6-year-old you found difficult to pronounce, to be frank everything in the new town sounded different to what you were used to. The people there spoke with such a different accent to what you were used to, it would take you quite a while to get used to it. As you sat in the back of the taxi with your backpack at your feet, you stared out the fogged up window. The sky was a gloomy grey and the landscape seemed to be an endless plain of sad looking meadows. 

You couldn’t seem to understand why your parents would choose to move to such a sad looking place, it didn’t make any sense. The taxi soon came to a slow stop, the brakes squealing loudly. You glanced out the window hopefully, rubbing the condensation away with your sleeve. Only to be disappointed to see a boring brick building of some sort. It was an odd combination of white wooden window frames and red bricks, like something out of one of those 1600s movies your Father once showed you. You anxiously looked back to your Mother who was watching you as your Father sorted out something with the taxi driver. Upon seeing your unhappy face your Mother chuckled softly.

“I heard that there’s a library just down the street, maybe sometime this week we could visit it.” she offered. You nodded, slightly content. Reading books was something you enjoyed and maybe with a library being close by, not all was lost. 

As it turned out, that boring brick building was your new house. 

Despite having to unpack and sort adult-y things out, your Mother took you to the library just as she had promised. As you skipped down the cobbled road, your Mother held a bright yellow umbrella over your head to shield you from the rain that was pouring down from the cloudy grey sky. 

You pushed upon the heavy front door to the library which also happened to look like a sad white brick square with a pointy red roof, a depressed mushroom if you will. You halted in your steps as giant wood bookcases rose before you, shelves full of books. Never had you ever seen so many books before. In the corner there was a lady sorting things in a trolley with her back turned to you, she still hadn’t noticed you. 

“C’mon, let’s head to the kids section.” your Mother said, taking you by the hand and leading you deeper into the library. Stunned by the amount of books that filled the shelves you couldn’t help but wander off when your Mother told you to stay put while she set up a borrowing card for you. 

Luckily, the children’s section of the library was much more pleasant looking than the eerie hallways of adult books. You scanned the shelves in search of something to read, until you came to a stop. Two round brown eyes among the books blinked from the other side of the shelf, scaring you. 

It was a boy. 

You blinked back, unsure of what to do. So you did what any other 6 year old did when they believed they had found a new friend. 

“Do you want to read with me?” you abruptly asked the boy who was still staring at you with wide eyes. A moment of silence passed before he nodded slowly, the boy rounded the corner. He wasn’t much taller than you with chocolate brown hair and small freckles that spilled over his face like tiny stars. He stuck out his hand, “I’m Oliver. But my friends call me Ollie.” he greeted, a smile taking over his face. His voice sounded odd, like the taxi driver who’d driven you from the airport to your new house. Ollie reminded you of a rabbit with his two front teeth that seemed to take up over half of his face, but you didn’t say anything because your Mother told you that saying things like that wasn’t nice. 

You took his hand cautiously in yours, “I’m Y/N.” you replied slowly. He enthusiastically shook your hand, taking you by surprise as he led you to sit down on the bright coloured bean bags. You watched curiously as he picked a book off the shelf before plopping down next to you again. You peered over as he opened the book to the first page, you frowned, not recognising the book. 

“It’s a book called Where’s Wally (Where’s Waldo if you’re American). You have to find the characters, there’s Wally, Wenda, the wizard guy and Woof - that’s the dog.” Ollie explained to you, pointing to each character on the page. The initial nervousness of meeting another kid, melting away. You began to feel excited as you nodded along while Ollie continued to explain how to play. The two of you spent the next hour doing all sorts of things, talking about favourite colours, favourite animals, reading books, drawing, playing board games together. Both getting along so easily it was as if you guys had known each other forever. That was until you heard your Mother calling your name to go home. 

You stood up, looking down at Ollie who was still seated on a yellow bean bag. He blinked up at you, with those big brown eyes that had scared you only an hour earlier. “I have to go home now.” you told him, a wave of sadness passing between the two of you as you both realised your fun had come to an end. 

“That’s okay, maybe I’ll see you at school.” he suggested hopefully upon seeing your downcast face. You broke into a smile, “Okay, bye Ollie.” you waved slowly as you began to walk away. Ollie waved back with a giant grin on his face as he watched you disappear behind the wooden bookshelves. 

“Hey Mom!” you called out to your Mother as she came into view, she was chatting with the lady who you’d seen at the desk sorting books. She paused and turned to you, “Hey, I was just talking to the librarian, she was saying about how she has a son who hangs out here while she works on the weekend.” 

Putting two and two together you realised that the book lady was Ollie’s Mother. You smiled at the lady, “I was playing with Ollie, we were reading that one book, ‘Where’s  . .  .” You trailed off, racking your brain for the name of the book he’d shown you. 

“Where’s Wally?” the librarian offered, she nodded fondly. “That’s his favourite book.” You grinned up at the lady, looking back in the direction where you’d been playing with Ollie.

“Mom, am I going to the school as Ollie?” you asked, looking up at your Mother. She chuckled softly before nodding, “As a matter of fact, you are.” 

Those golden words were what made you unbelievably excited to begin at your new school. You had barely been able to sleep with the thought of seeing your new friend again, so on that Monday morning you bounded down the stairs to the kitchen. “Good morning!” you greeted both your parents, taking a seat at the dining table, legs swinging off the chair impatiently. 

“Someone’s excited for their first day of school.” your Mother hummed as she set a plate of pancakes in front of you. You nodded, “I get to see my new friend.” you replied as you stuffed your mouth with your breakfast. 

You were basically pulling your Mother through the front gates as you scanned the sea of other children in the same uniform as you. The uniform also happened to be grey, it complimented the terrible weather perfectly. Your eyes fell onto the brown haired-freckled boy from two days earlier, you ran up to him, “Hi Ollie.” you smiled. A giant grin took over the boy’s face, “Y/N!” he exclaimed, pulling you into a hug. From that day on, the two of you were inseparable. Where one of you went, the other followed right behind, Ollie helped you adjust to your new school, showing you around and never leaving you by yourself. As the years passed the two of you only became closer, though you would soon find out that that wasn’t the greatest thing. 

13 and 13

As the two of you grew into teenagers, things began to change and not always for the better. Ollie and you still remained close friends, having dinner at one another’s house on Friday’s, walking home together after school and occasionally spending afternoons playing Mario Kart with Ollie’s siblings. Your families were also extremely close now courtesy to both you and Ollie, his younger siblings becoming like your own. But the worst thing? 

You’d caught feelings for Ollie, it had been so sudden almost like it had crept up on you, taking you by surprise. You didn’t understand. It felt so wrong. 

One day out of the blue it hit you like a pile of bricks, you just couldn’t stop staring at him. Absolutely enchanted by him, his chocolate brown hair, those pretty freckles that you’d memorised on his face. 

Ollie was like a brother to you, he was your best friend, so how come you felt these things for him?

To make matters even worse for little 13 year old you, Ollie liked another girl. A girl who absolutely hated your guts. 

What had you done to her? You didn’t know. 

You and Ollie had been having a sleepover when he told you about her, her name was Estelle Ogilvy. She was gorgeous and untouchable, by far the prettiest girl you’d ever seen. You didn’t hold a candle to her and you knew it too. Ollie had been hopelessly in love with her since the start of high school when he shared science and maths class with her. Time and time again he would ramble on about her to you, completely oblivious to your feelings for him. You could only nod along wishing it was you who he was talking about. That’s just how it was, you were stuck in a bubble of unrequited love. So all you could do now was watch from afar as Ollie ran after a girl who you just knew would never like him as much as he liked her. 

15 and 15

Ollie’s karting career really took off in the last few years and you couldn’t have been prouder, those feelings for him still lingered around but you’d come to terms that he’d never like you in the same way. Because there he was, still stuck on chasing Estelle. You couldn’t blame him, and maybe that’s what you were always just supposed to be, friends. 

Yet you were jealous, something you refused to admit. Jealous of Estelle because oh how you wished to be talked about so fondly by Ollie. To always be on his mind, to be the girl he liked and would never shut up about. You still didn’t understand why you felt this way, in your mind it made absolutely zero sense. Then why did it feel so right when you were by his side, almost like you belonged there next to him? But Ollie being Ollie could just never get a hint whenever you tried to subtly let him know. It sucked because there’s nothing worse than loving someone who’ll never love you the same way. 

18 and 18 

It got worse as the years passed, your feelings for your best friend would just not go away. No matter how hard you tried, how hard you tried to find another boy to fawn over, your gaze would always fall back on Ollie. But he was dating Estelle now, he was in Formula 2 now. It almost seemed like an eternity ago when you first met him in the library just down your street. An eternity ago when you would attend his karting races, cheering the loudest for him in the stands. All of that was now in the past. You barely even saw him now that he had dropped out of school to pursue his career in Formula 2. Now all you could do now was watch from a distance as he looked the happiest you’d seen him in ages.

He was spectacular at what he did, you would watch him race on TV every week no matter what hour the race was or even if you had school the next day. 

Yet inside of you there was a giant hole, a hole that Ollie had left behind when he abandoned you. Abandoned was a bit of a stretch but it was the only word you could use to sum up what you had felt when he left. Ollie had to move to Italy for his career, news that he hadn’t even told you in person, you had to hear it from his Mother. He’d taken your hands in his at the airport as he waited to board his plane and promised you he’d stay in touch, that he’d call every week but here you were with the last time you’d spoken to him being over a month ago. 

You refused to be the first one to reach out to him, you felt like he owed you that much effort at least. So you waited  . . . and waited only for the world to keep spinning while you were stuck in the past. That was until you finally realised that you had never meant as much to Ollie as he had to you. 

19 and 19 - present day 

“Y/N! WAKE UP OR YOU’LL BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!” your Mother’s voice echoed up to your bedroom, rattling the glass in the window frames. You groaned as you groggily sat up, pulling open the curtains only to be greeted with dark overcast weather, rain pouring down outside. You rubbed your eyes, yawning as you dragged yourself out of bed. It was your second year of university studying mechanical engineering at the biggest university in Chelmsford. It proved to be difficult with its endless nights of staying up doing work but you knew it would be worth it in the end. 

Your university never failed to confuse you and make you late for class with all of its giant identical hallways. You ran down the corridors, heels clacking on the marble floor until you came to a stop at the door to where your lecture was for that day. Slipping through the door you weaved through the seats of the auditorium to find an empty seat. Luckily for you, your friend Bianca saved a seat for you. 

“Thanks.” you whispered only to be shot dirty glares by the students around you. You winced as you looked ahead at the teacher in an attempt to catch on what he was droning on about. Bianca gently nudged you, passing her phone to you. You frowned, eyebrows knitted as you looked down at the screen. A notice on Ferrari's official instagram with Ollie’s face plastered above the words “Oliver Bearman to race in Jeddah this weekend for Carlos Sainz.” 

You narrowed your eyes and huffed, passing the phone back to Bianca who smiled nervously. “What was the point of that?” you whispered, leaning closer to her. Bianca sighed, “You’re not fooling anyone, I know you still have unresolved feelings for him.” she whispered back only to get a loud shushing sound from a nearby student. 

Bianca shot them a glare before turning back to you, “You have to go, I don’t care what you say. You are going. This is his Formula 1 debut, whether you’re still friends with him or not you’ve got to be there for him.” she whispered-shouted, looking at you sternly. You sighed, leaning back into your chair, shaking your head. 

“It’s not the same anymore. He’s clearly forgotten about me, the last time we spoke was last year and he’s been back home 4 times in the last 12 months.” 

Silence hung in the air, only the voice of the teacher rambling on and on about something you still hadn’t caught on about. 

“That Estelle girl, she’s clearly using him. You were his best friend, surely that means something to you both.” Bianca tried again but it wasn’t any use. There was no purpose in bringing up something that you both had clearly tried so hard  to forget about. 

So then why were you here booking a flight to Jeddah to watch your old best friend debut in Formula 1? 

It was something you couldn’t answer and didn’t want to. 

The thing that you hated the most is that you didn’t even think twice before booking those tickets. 

How could you care so much about a person who had so blatantly forgotten about you?

Deep down you knew the answer, it was because to you Ollie was like your home. He was the first person to make you feel like you actually belonged somewhere, he never abandoned you to eat lunch alone at school, he never cancelled plans once you made them, he was a good person, a good friend. 

Or at least he was. 

Were you insane? The answer was yes, yes you were insane. Being here was so crazy; it nearly made you want to turn around and jump on the next flight back home. You were standing in line to go through the gates when you heard someone call your name. You secretly hoped it was Ollie but much to your disappointment it was . . . Arthur?

Ollie had introduced you to Arthur back when they had raced in Formula 3 together. You hadn’t seen him in forever. 

“Arthur?” you questioned as he pulled you into a hug, you hugged him back before pulling away, still unable to believe it was him. 

“I was about to ask what you’re doing here but that would be dumb.” you confessed, only noticing now the massive crowd that was surrounding the two of you. Arthur chuckled before nodding in the direction of the gate, “C’mon, I can get you in, you’ll be my guest.” 

“Oh, you don’t have to-” you began but Arthur was already pushing you through the gates. Walking back onto a race track was like taking a breath of fresh air after being in a car for a long time. You used to accompany Ollie to all of his karting races each weekend in Chelmsford, so being in the stands had become like a second home to you. 

“Are you here for Ollie?” Arthur asked as you walked in the direction of the motorhomes. You caught yourself before you could answer too irrationally, “No, I’m just here to watch the race.” you shrugged, realising how dumb that sounded as soon as it left your mouth. No good person would fly all the way to Saudi Arabia to watch a race if there was a Grand Prix in their own country.  If you wanted to “just watch a race” you could’ve watched it on TV or gone to the Silverstone GP. Arthur only hummed, you knew he had already caught on, it was so obvious it made you want to dig a hole and jump in. 

“Anyways,” you quickly said, eager to move onto a different topic.

“Anyways.” Arthur agreed, looking at you, eyebrows raised. “You can’t fool me, I’ve known it since the moment I met you.”

You let out an exasperated sigh, “What am I going to say to him?” you asked, looking to Arthur for help. He shrugged, “No clue but you might want to think of something quickly because he’s walking over right now.”

“Y/N?” 

You blinked as you came face to face with the person you wanted to see so badly for the last year and now that you were here facing him it felt like all the air in you had gotten sucked right out. He looked  the same since the last time you saw him. In the last year you wanted to hate Ollie so much but it was impossible because you still loved him and that was the big terrible truth that you refused to admit. 

“Hi. Ollie.” you said, to not let the jumble of words that you’ve kept in since the last time you saw him spill out. Arthur sent you a quick salute, “Gotta go, I’ll see you afterwards, Y/N.” and with that he left you with Ollie in silence. 

“What are you doing here?” Ollie finally asked, he was acting so . . .  so normal. As if nothing had changed between the two of you.

“I’m here because I’m your number 1 fan, remember?” you scoffed, looking up at him. A reminder of the time when you were both 10, Ollie gifted you a t-shirt at Christman with the words: “Ollie’s No.1 fan.” plastered on it for you to wear to his karting races. It was sure to be buried deep in your wardrobe somewhere. 

“Yeah,” he breathed, “Yeah you are.” guilt written all over his face. 

“Why’d you leave me then? Tell me the truth, did I do something wrong? Was I too normal for you?” you asked, questions pouring out of you. 

“We were best friends, how could you just leave me like that? Do I mean nothing to you? Because you were everything to me, my best friend, the first person who made me feel like I actually mattered to someone, so tell me, why did you abandon me?” 

Silence hung in the air as you stared up at Ollie. You wanted answers, perhaps it would be the only thing that would let you move on from him. He looked away, unable to meet your gaze. This was so. . . so unfair. You wanted to yell, scream at him even so he could feel even a fraction of the pain you’d felt in the past year. 

“So that’s it? You don’t even have an explanation?” you asked him, your voice shaking with anger it made your throat ache as you blinked back tears. 

“I waited and waited for you to call me, to even send a message but that was a mistake. You’ll never love me in the same way that I love you.” 

Hot tears rolled down your cheeks, Ollie finally meeting your eyes as the three simple words left your lips. 

You’ll never love me in the same way that I love you.

The world stopped like everything had been put on pause as you realised your mistake. You felt like you’d gotten hit on the head with a cricket bat. 

“I have to go.” is all that left your mouth as you turned around. The ground was moving like a spinning wheel - a blurry mess of colours. It made you sick to your stomach as you walked away, your cheeks flushed hot and your forehead sticky with sweat. Ollie didn’t even call out for you, nor run after you for an explanation because it was so blatantly clear what you’d just confessed to him. 

You wished you could hate him, hate the fact that he’d left you, forgotten you like an old stuffed toy, you hated that he didn’t love you. 

You sat on the curb, clutching your knees outside of the entrance to the racetrack wallowing in self-pity. Wiping away tears that just kept falling down your face much to your distaste. The sun was beginning to disappear behind the buildings, the sky now a deep shade of orange. You stared at your feet, it was dumb, you should’ve known that coming here to Jeddah was a mistake. Ollie had moved on, something that you hadn’t done in the last year. You felt so stupid, why did you believe you could repair your friendship?

Why did you-

“Excuse me?” a voice interrupted your train of thought, you quickly wiped your tears and looked up to see Arthur standing beside you, a pitiful smile on his face. You looked away, “What do you want?” you grumbled, folding your arms across your chest bitterly. Arthur sat down beside you, watching you closely as you stared at the trees in the distance. He sighed, “The race is about to start and Ollie’s not coming out of his driver room. Estelle said she’d be here but she’s not and he’s locked himself in.” 

The words hung heavy in the air, “And what does that have to do with me?” you asked flatly. You knew exactly what he meant. But you weren’t going to do that, you were done with Ollie and everything to do with him. 

“You know exactly what it has to do with you. Did you really think Ollie forgot about you that easily? You’re dumber than I thought.” he quipped unhelpfully. 

“Thanks,” you muttered miserably, Arthur winced. 

“What I meant is that you can’t give up this easily, you and I both know how stupid Ollie can be sometimes.” 

You chuckled softly, letting a tiny smile creep onto your face. Arthur wasn’t wrong. When you and Ollie were both 8 you invited him over for Easter to make coloured eggs. It resulted in 20 cracked eggs on the kitchen tiles when Ollie accidentally knocked them off the bench. The two of you had stared at the mess on the ground before bursting out laughing until you were both in tears. It was safe to say that you both spent the next 2 hours scrubbing the tiles and the yolk that had stained the grout in between them. 

“Yeah.” you said softly, looking at the sun that had been swallowed by the top of the palm trees, the stars in the sky beginning to appear as you sat in the light underneath a lamp post. 

“So?”

“Okay, I’ll get him out of the room but after that I’m out of here. I want to go home.” 

Arthur gave you a quick thumbs up as you raised your hand to knock gently on the door to the driver’s room. There wasn’t a reply, only dead silence and that’s when you heard it, crying from inside the room. 6-year-old you would’ve kicked down the door and done anything to get to your best friend. But here you stood outside the room, sending hopeless glances at Arthur who was standing behind you. 

“Ollie?” you called out hesitantly, the crying halted and there was another long moment of silence. You pressed your ear up against the door, waiting for an answer. 

“Yeah?” his shaky voice replied, you breathed a sigh of relief. You turned around, beckoning Arthur to leave you both, he only nodded, mouthing ‘OK’ as he slipped down the hallway. Turning back to the driver’s room you took a deep breath in, you didn’t want to go in. You didn’t think you could face him after what happened earlier. 

“You came,” he said as your hand rested on the handle of the door but there was resistance, it was still locked. 

“Of course, are you okay?” you asked, immediately regretting asking as soon as it left your mouth. You cursed yourself silently as you awaited Ollie’s answer. Soft sniffles came from the other side of the door, “Yeah.” he finally replied quietly but loud enough for you to hear from the other side of the door.

What were you supposed to say to get him out of the driver’s room?

“Everyone’s waiting for you, you can’t stay in there forever.” you gently reminded him, sighing as you sat down, back leaning up against the door. There was another long moment of silence as you rested your head on the door, stretching your legs out for comfort. 

“I don’t think I can do it.” he said, taking you by surprise. The Ollie you’d known wasn’t afraid of anything, he was confident in almost everything he did, almost it seemed. 

“Oliver, you’re being crazy. You are by far the most talented driver I’ve ever seen.” you told him, staring at the roof of the building as you heard a sigh from the other side of the door. “You’re just saying that because you’re my girlfriend, Estelle.” 

You froze as if you’d just been stabbed by icicles, Ollie thought you were Estelle. 

Of course. He’d been expecting her, Arthur had told you before. You scoffed to yourself quietly, you would’ve stood up and left if it wasn’t the fact that you were here to get Ollie out of the driver’s room he had oh so nicely locked himself in. You let out a soft sigh as you racked your brain for what you should say to him. 

“I’m not. It’s the truth, Ollie.” you told him with a heavy heart, feeling as if you were just setting yourself up to get your heart broken all over again. You took a deep breath in, “You are such an amazing driver it’s literally insane, not only that but you’re by far the kindest, most selfless person I know. It’s crazy that you think you can’t do this, because I know that you can. Ferrari chose you to drive for them for a reason, they know what you’re capable of, everyone else does too. I see you and you’re extraordinary, you have this spark inside you that’s amazing. And . . . maybe that’s the reason why I love you. I always have, and when I had the chance I should’ve told you but I didn’t because your friendship has always meant more to me than my own feelings.” you let out a shaky breath. 

“You’re a good person, Ollie. You’ve earned a chance to show the world just how great and insanely talented you are, are you really going to throw it away?” 

You blinked back tears, who knew you could get so emotional after giving such a life changing speech?

You rubbed your eyes and cleared your throat, letting out a deep sigh. It was time to leave now, Ollie would have realised by now that it was you who was speaking to him and not Estelle. As you began to get up, leaning against the door for support you heard a click!

Oh shit, was the only thought that went through your mind as you lost your footing and fell backwards, the door frame offering you no help at all as you grasped at it helplessly. You stared up at Ollie as you laid at his feet, a million thoughts racing through your mind. He was in his fireproofs with his race suit tied around his waist as he looked down at you, eyebrows knitted. There were tear stains on his flushed cheeks as he stared at you with those wide brown eyes you’d seen among the books all those years ago. 

“Y/N?” 

a/n: sorry if it was so quick and rushed i just wanted to post something! Thank you if you got the end, ik it was super long for no reason, so thank you! Please let me know what you think, likes and reblogs are always appreciated, thank you and have an amazing day xx

[fallinforerling]

ahhh im so glad you write for ø! i really like your imagines and your way to write. so thank you!! I was thinking about an imagine where Martin asks reader to go to training with him, because he needs the presence of her since he is a little lost, and his team mates joke about her being his lucky charm.

captain's lucky charm - martin ødegaard

ೃ⁀➷ martin’s taglist

ೃ⁀➷ martin’s masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

While in the car, you gave Martin a quick glance, incapable of holding the tiny grin that escaped your lips when you noticed he looked in your direction at the same time. His hand was firmly placed on top of yours, like he was scared of letting you go and giving you the chance to run away from your destiny. You weren’t, but you knew he felt like he was forcing you to go. Your heart felt heavy on your chest, but it was full of love for the man driving next to you.

Looking away, you thought about how strange the day started.

“Babe?” 

A voice woke you up from your sleep so suddenly that you jumped on the spot, half-kicking the covers while still immersed in the post-sleepness state you were in just seconds ago. Your blurry vision focused on a face next to you, making you almost scream if it weren't for the fact that you recognized them as your boyfriend. 

“Martin! My god, you almost killed me!” You said after a moment, placing a hand against your chest, where your heart was compulsively beating. “Did something happen?” 

“No, no… Uh, sorry for waking you up. I was just wondering if...” He paused, touching your upper arm before massaging it, just the way he always did when he wanted something from you. 

“Yeah?” Your face was half buried on the pillow, making it hard to focus on his face. You were still so sleepy. 

“Can you come with me today? Please?” His voice was so low that you thought you had heard him wrong. When you didnʼt reply right away, he cleared his throat. “You donʼt have to, I just really thought it would be… nice.” 

When you sensed the sudden change in his tone, you opened your eyes again and took his hand, which was still on your arm. You smiled a bit when he gave you the puppy eyes you loved so much while obviously waiting for an answer. Something was up. 

“Of course I want to go.” You caressed his hand, playing with his fingers while half-smiling at him. “Can I ask why you want me to go?” It was so out of character for him to ask you something like that. He was a private person, even around his teammates. Plus, it was rare for players to have company during their training sessions.

Never, in all the years of relationship, has he ever asked you to accompany him without an actual reason. 

“Well…” His eyes wandered around the room, like they were escaping yours. “You know how I’ve been struggling a bit to let myself go around the guys?” You nodded, knowing how hard it was for him to let go of his shyness out of the pitch. He was the best captain youʼd ever seen, but in reality, he was a person who loved his personal space and struggled to open up. “It’s just that… I really want to stop feeling like I’m just a bargain player thatʼll be let go next season and I won’t be missed.” You opened your mouth to refute his words, but he stopped you. “I know I’m not, but I can’t help how my brain works sometimes, so… I felt like having you with me could help.” He kissed your hand, smiling a bit. “You know you bring me peace.” 

Your heart was about to stop beating from how much love you suddenly felt. Martin always said sweet things like this, and even two years into your relationship, you never knew how to get used to it. Besides, you could never say no to him. 

“Then let’s get ready, or we’ll be late.” You replied, biting your lip when he jumped to his feet and almost dragged you into the bathroom. 

So there you were, walking down the hallways of the training center, getting surprised looks from every single person that you encountered while heading to the pitch. As you thought, it wasn’t common for the players' partners to just hang out with them while training. They needed to be focused on the instructions, and overall, work. This was Martinʼs workplace. You felt like you were on those “bring your partner to work” type of days, which felt ridiculous. But you've got your reasons, and you’ll be standing by them for the rest of the day if your presence helped Martin feel better. 

“So, where do I sit while you do your thing?” You were about to enter the actual training pitch; you could already hear some shouts and laughter from the distance. 

“We have a tiny row of seats you can use; they’re the ones we use for the DT and the staff, but itʼs rare when they use them.” His free hand made its way through his hair, making it all fluffy and tousled. You resisted the urge to touch it. “If you ever feel uncomfortable, just know you can leave, okay?” 

“I’m not leaving.” You stopped for a moment, giving him a tiny peck. The doors were just a few feet away from you, so you let go of his hand. “I’ll be on the seats if you need me. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

You watched him take off to the pitch, his back as stiff as it gets. You knew he was feeling extra nervous, despite his denials while in the car. You’d met some of his new teammates, but since you both were private individuals, it was actually the first time for the majority of his colleagues to actually meet you. Hell, maybe it was the first time for a lot of them to hear that Martin had a girlfriend at all.

Oh well. 

You looked for your phone, getting ready to take some cute photos for your private folder. Not even he knew about your collection of candid photos. The best part about this day was that you were going to have a feast and no one would notice.

Once you were outside, the sun hit your eyes, making you squint a bit while you walked to the few seats near the right side of the pitch. You saw a bunch of guys from the team already warming up, chatting, and joking. You instantly spotted Martin, who was talking to Bukayo (the only guy who has been to your house and whom you properly knew at all). Martin gave you a smile just as you were sitting down, making Bukayo look in your direction. Once he recognized you, he smiled as well, waving like a little kid that just saw a friend. You giggled, returning the wave before sitting. 

Close to ten guys that were near the seats shot you looks full of curiosity, like they were trying to guess if you were from the press, a streaming site, or just someone visiting. 

You gave them a weird half-smile that was only reserved for awkward interactions with strangers on the street. 

It went wonderfully. 

─── ⋆⋅☆ ⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

You spent around twenty minutes taking photo after photo of Martin in various states, from relaxed to red-faced due to the physical activities he was doing. Training seemed very hard, but you enjoyed it… Well, you just enjoyed seeing it. 

Okay, your boyfriend looked hot while doing almost anything. Nobody can blame you for liking the view. 

Now you were smiling at your phone, carefully choosing the best photos (which were most of them) to put in your folder, when a sudden shadow lurked over you. The absence of sunlight caught you by surprise. 

“Hello, pretty.” You giggled, blocking your phone, putting it against your chest while looking up. Martin stared at you from above with a smirk, like he knew you were hiding something. “What are you doing?” 

“Nothing.” You smiled when he raised an eyebrow at you. Your hands went directly to the little container full of cold water. “Water?” 

He obviously noticed your efforts to distract him from your phone, but he only gave you a slight head movement before taking the bottle from you. He sat, letting a loud groan escape his mouth. 

“Tired?” You asked in a playful tone, knowing that he was done with life by this point. 

He took a deep breath, not looking at you for a long moment before letting his head rest on your knee. 

“I know I should play it cool and pretend I’m not even tired, but I feel like I’m about to pass out.” You laugh, stroking his (sweaty) hair with a big smile. “Keep doing that, and I’ll probably fall asleep.” 

“Hey! Look who’s here!” Bukayo’s voice made it impossible for Martin to actually fall asleep anytime soon. You watched him jog towards you, wearing his usual smile. “Captain’s lucky charm, nice to see you again!” 

“Hi, Bukayo.” You said, returning the smile. “Lucky charm? I wasn’t aware of that title.”

“Can you guys stop it already?” Martin said, half laughing and half groaning. 

“Stop what?” You asked, enjoying how his cheeks were turning slightly red. 

“Oh, we’ve been joking around with that. You’re definitely his lucky charm.” Bukayo nudged his arm. “We’ve never seen this guy so happy while training in a long time. And hey, you scored like five goals today, that’s impressive.” 

“I guess so…” Was the only thing that he got out of your boyfriend, who seemed to be about to pass out, but this time from embarrassment. 

“Well, I’ll leave you guys alone. I’m out to the showers. See you around!” 

“Bye!” You looked at Martin again, biting your lip when he avoided your gaze. “I’m going to take the risk to say that it worked, huh?” 

Before he could even reply, a group of his teammates walked by, waving at both of you with smiles. You heard in the distance how one of them shouted “Bring her tomorrow!” at Martin before leaving, making you laugh even more. 

“Would you mind coming tomorrow as well?” Your boyfriend asked after a few minutes, and you couldn’t help but hug him. 

You loved him so much.

[iknowshocker]

Was you a fan of kai in season 8? I know alot of people myself included wasn't a fan loved the little bonkai bit we got at the end still was disappointed they waited until the very end to have them reunite and don't even get me started on kai hyping up katherine

here's the thing anon i suffered through s7 holding on by the single fraying thread that was bonnie bennett. then enzo died in such a stupid, ridiculous, heartbreaking way. and THEN kai showed up steaming in the grill and for the briefest of moments i thought to myself: are they about to give us an ambiguous bonkai ending ?? there's no way we can be so blessed ?? and i was unfortunately correct 💀

so seeing kai in s8 at all was like a reward for my suffering. i love that he shows up in the wedding suit (as if that's not wildly traumatic for all of us) i love that he begs to see bonnie every chance he gets, so even if we have to wait until the very end it's confirmation on his end that he's thinking of her/wants to see her. the heart on the window moment ????????? come on.

so yeah im always a fan of kai, but to me we lose him in 6x17. the kai that comes back from 1903 is inherently different and while we get little flashes of good writing here and there, its just never the same. my favorite moments in s8 from his episodes are when he's in the grill, at the bar singing, in the armory cell/chasing the twins through the house, and at the end with bonnie. to me that's when he feels most like himself. if he's centered on a personal/gemini storyline i'm immediately like 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

the scenes with damon fall flat for me because they write kai as relying on damon for help, and i just feel like he would go to literally anyone else ??? like are we supposed to pretend he's not mad damon killed him ??? in what world does kai "revenge is my middle name" parker not try to kill his own murderer on sight ??? so the moment he flips on damon and steals elena's coffin im like thank GOD, there's my boy.

pls the katherine stuff is so fucking funny. the fact that the option to have Kai kill cade and take over as king of hell was RIGHT THERE and they still went with katherine is just 😂 typical 😂 imo kai is only ever interested romantically in bonnie, so i take anything he says about katherine as excitement that she can scare/mess with the mfg. i do think he's mad at them, and it makes sense he'd be happy there's someone else ready to torment them.

but do i think he actually appreciates how evil she is ?? sure, i guess. 😂 like if that's something he even cares about ??? because if that's the case, wouldn't he have been more interested in damon's crimes in s6, or even stefan/lily being a ripper and the damage they could cause ??

there's this weird push for kai to be Absolutely Unhinged and Insanely Evil and i just don't think he is 🙈 i mean the first thing he did when he bargained his freedom from cade was to get drunk in a karaoke bar 😂 so much could have been avoided if they just !! left him alone !!

[apompkwrites]

All these anons shipping Lil King and Nuru have finally allowed me to reveal myself, whilst staying hidden amongst the crowd. Might I request something with Nuru and Lil King? 🥺👉👈 Fluff or angst, platonic or romantic, anything works really<3

hehe ofc ofc. im so glad you guys like nuru my lil bab <33

went more of a hurt/comfort sort of route? best of both worlds :D takes place after the mwezi miji gang enters NRC but no reconciliation w/ leona. a lil romance for the mwezi miji babies :)

some standard lil kingscholar self-deprication btw

back in mwezi miji, it wasn't uncommon for you and nuru to sleep in the same bed. back when atiena was still alive, serving the two of you fresh meals in the morning, she would often find the two of you huddled together underneath a single blanket.

of course, you always got the better bargain between the two of you considering nuru also had his wings tossed over you like a second blanket.

"i never had the heart to wake you up," she would say to the two of you. maybe that's why nuru always got up so late before she died.

what atiena didn't know, or maybe she did and just never told you, was that the events that led up to those nights involved the two of you finding solace in each other.

the nights in savanaclaw were quiet. it was all eerily quiet given that the dorms were filled with muscle-headed beastmen that had nothing in their heads except for pure anger and pride. you expected to hear plenty of snoring coming from the other rooms, but you didn't.

in fact, the silence only reminded you of those cruel nights you spent awake in mwezi miji.

you loved the town with all your heart, but it effectively ruined the concept of silence. but you knew that it wasn't their fault. it was those damned elders, their taunting words still ringing in your head when there was nothing to distract you.

sometimes, in those dark nights that were only illuminated by the stars and the moon, you swore you saw them standing outside of your window.

and, just like in mwezi miji, you swore you saw them in savanaclaw.

"nuru?" your voice was soft when you finally reached his door, lightly tapping your knuckles against it. your heart dropped to your stomach in those few moments.

nuru's probably asleep right now... i shouldn't bother him. maybe if i close my eyes--

"(name)?" his voice was just as soft as your knocking was when he opened the door. his hair was messy, a result of him burying his face in his pillows like he did when he was younger. "what's wrong?"

"ah..." your voice was caught in your throat. despite that, he seemed to get the idea.

"come," he ordered, lethargy lacing his voice as he grabbed your wrist. he was quick to shut the door behind you and pull you to his bed.

he fell into his blanket, burying his face in the pillow once more. and you followed suit, curling into his side just like you had done all those years ago.

"thank you, nuru..." you muttered your gratitude, snuggling into nuru's hold. just like when you were young, his wing extended to drape over you, covering you like a second blanket. "g'night."

and as your eyes closed and the moon and stars shined into nuru's room, you felt at peace, the elders now gone from the window.

when he was younger, nuru was quick to sleep. when you would sneak into his room, he was passed out. of course, you always woke him up and he was glad to make room for you, falling asleep within seconds once more.

but, now that he was older, he learned that the best nights were when you would curl up by his side, illuminated by the moon and the stars.

now that the two of you were in savanaclaw, miles and miles away from mwezi miji, it still felt like home the moment you were curled up beside him.

he couldn’t help it when his arm moved to wrap around you, pulling you close and pressing his cheek against the top of your head, your ears tickling his nose with every twitch. he had to force himself to not press a kiss against your head.

oh, how he cherished these nights.

[cicada-circuitry]

#God tho this does make me want to pull back up that notebook fic snippet i had#of Margo confronting Molly about this too but like with science.#Margo would know. Just saying. She knows. ⃪ does this mean you have Molly/Margo fic?

Hi anon! sorry this is now several days late but boy do I. ( watched FAMK for the first time in February, wound up with Pages and pages of fic snippets (for a couple ships, margo x molly included) in chicken scratch on physical paper which is always a great sign that im being normal about a show, thought I'd cure myself if I just watched the whole thing a second time and absolutely only made it worse. )

I meant to answer this ask by just typing up the quick excerpt of the fic I was talking to myself in the tags about but...... started typing and did not stop. It lives over here now! Was not the one of the notebook fics I thought would see the light of day but you know? why not.

(I assume if you're here you, like me, have already read all the fics to be found but if you have Not read everything in that tag already, highly recommend. this fandom may be small but boy did it have good food on offer when I rolled in four years late fresh off a few episodes and absolutely screaming.)

Since I went ahead and dropped that one on ao3 at like 4am i'll throw in something a little more typical of the the notebook archives - how about this thing that exists entirely bc i noticed that used bookstore you can see beside the Outpost in season 1 and it gave me Ideas

Sometime post crossword-quiz / pre- run-in at the Jazz club.  

Margo walks fast past the Outpost on her way over to Bargain Books. When she can, she prefers to park down at the other end of the street and not have to go by that eyesore of a bar in the first place, but when you double the size of the astronaut program with twenty female ascans, you turn street parking into a blood sport. On her salary, no way is she playing chicken with the corvettes, not even to avoid mustering a polite smile for a coworker at his inebriated worst. 

Most days, that’s only an issue if she swings by after dark, the hour when everybody’s trickling out and stumbling home for the evening. Otherwise, the dingy whitewashed plywood keeps a nice impenetrable wall between book-seeking passers-by and drunken test pilots. Today, however, a spell of perfect weather is conspiring against her. Someone has the door propped open with a rusty paint can, letting the sound of laughter of clinking glass spill through it onto the sidewalk. 

A flash of green catches Margo’s eye before she can make it past. Despite herself, she recognizes that shade in an instant. It’s the flannel shirt she had to reprimand earlier that afternoon for bringing a lit cigarette into the sim. Molly Cobb, bent over a pool table, chin twisted up towards Patty Doyle, grinning like a woman about to win.  

Just Margo’s luck that this is the perfect time of day—indoor light matching outdoor light—for Molly to catch her eye straight through the open door as she makes her shot. 8-ball, dead in the pocket. 

For no reason she can think of, Margo feels heat rushing up into her cheeks. 

She stalks into Bargain Books in a hurry. 

The sweater-vested owner behind the front desk gives her the polite nod reserved for a good customer (and disinterested conversationalist) as she beelines for Paperback Fiction. She finished Matheson’s Ride the Nightmare last night— should have picked up two when she noticed how short it was in the first place, but nothing else tickled her fancy when she was in here a week ago, so here she is again, browsing spines. Maybe it's time to cave and finally grab a 10¢ copy of Rosemary's Baby from the stack on the end, seeing as it’s the one highly recommended title in her genre-of-choice the entire country seems to have read in the last couple years, but she already knows the ending (and the entire premise of demonic pregnancy does not appeal for tuning out after the work day). 

She’s dubiously eying the back-cover blurb on a Chandler detective thriller instead when a voice over her shoulder says, “Oh, Patty loves this shit.” 

To her great chagrin, Margo jumps, gasps, and drops her book. “Jesus, Molly.” 

“My bad.” 

Molly squats down to pick it up, slouchy brown corduroy flexing over her thighs. She fixes a bend in the cover before offering it back to her, but when Margo tries to take it away, Molly doesn’t let go. Instead, she adopts a playfully quirked brow and tugs it back towards herself inch-by-inch, bringing Margo, frowning, a step closer than she was before. “Came here to see if I could talk you into a drink.” 

Margo’s voice comes out approximately four steps too high as she looks around for some explanatory audience and says incredulously, “In there?” with a jerk of her thumb towards the Outpost’s adjoining wall. 

“Yeah. NASA central, shithole though it may be, but I never see you around.” 

“Well, I’m not an astronaut.” 

“Neither are the five white-shirts who monopolize the best booth in the back six nights a week. They don’t check for a pin at the door, Madison. That’d be no way to run a business. It’s a bar. Come have a drink with me.” 

“With… you.” She asks because she expects there to be an and. Me and the other ascans. Me and the rest of you white-shirt types in the back. Me and Patty Doyle. 

But Molly just raps the cover of The Lady in the Lake with her knuckles and says again, “With me.”

[wrens-versus-the-world]

A Demon's Promise (Demon!Fyodor x reader)

Crossposted on wattpad under @dontjudgemepels

Hellow BSD Fandom!!! 

I'm finally doing something for one of my favorite animes! 

demon fyodor x reader

It was a normal night, it always was. I got home from my part time job, bathed, ate dinner and worked on my homework for the remainder of the evening.

I guess i should have gotten the hint that something was up when my alarm clock was frozen, or when the lightbulb in my bathroom suddenly exploded, but no, I decided to ignore it. Big mistake.

after the light exploded i made my way to bed, a bit shaken from the fiasco in the bathroom I decided to read some.

and by some i meant three hours... because I couldn't seem to fall asleep.

I get ahead of myself.

after some time had passed I decided that i should just lay down. I set my book down on my bedside table and leaned over to turn the light off. That was my second mistake, because when I leaned back into my bed I was met with a pair of violet eyes, that seemed to be almost glowing from the moonlight.

'okay... this is... new' i thought to myself, 'maybe this is what people mean by a sleep paralysis demon?' i pause, the eyes blinked.

"maybe i'm hallucinating?"i wonder aloud

in response i am met with a deep chuckle, causing me to jolt slightly in surprise, inwardly cursing

'how could i show a reaction? now whatever, who rather, knows i am aware of their presence'

the eyes shut and i feel a dip in the bed

'okay, maybe this is a sleep paralysis demon... no wait i can move'

i turn my eyes to where the movement came from and became very aware of a tall man with semi-long hair sitting on the edge of my bed (not facing me, thankfully).

i pondered on what i should do for what felt like an eternity, before i was (rudely) interrupted by the man shifting. In my sudden surprise i attempted to slowly sit up and try to shift away from him.

it all happened to quickly, one moment i was trying to quietly move myself to the other side of the bed, adjacent from the male who had made himself so comfortable on the edge of my bed. and the next i was suddenly pushed down into the mattress of my bed, immobile.

"you're interesting" he says, looking down to me, allowing his deep voice to fill the room (a/n im sorry he has a hot voice in the english dub (*≧∀≦*)), "perhaps i should strike a deal with you", he says allowing one of his hands to find its way to my face.

a small gasp leaves my lips at his proposal, 'who is this guy!?... no wait, better question: how did he get in my room?'

"is my cute little mouse not going to answer me?" he asked, mock confusion lacing his tone, causing heat to rise to my cheeks, "I can promise you that the proposal i speak of will benefit you greatly."

curiosity getting the better of me i asked, "what do you mean?"

a smirk found its way to his lips

'this bastard is enjoying himself!?'

"you are going to die," he spoke, the smirk leaving his face momentarily, now replaced with a more serious expression.

"... excuse me..?"

"I am a demon, we can tell when someone is not long for this world." he paused, watching my features morph into confusion, " however, we demons, also have the power to prevent such things. hence why i brought up my proposal."

'this guy has to be nuts' i quietly thought to myself, pausing, 'well he did somehow appear here, and there have been some weird things happening tonight... so maybe he is a demon.'

My eyes wondered back to the 'demon' in question, "this seems like too great a bargain, don't you think? What exactly will you get in return for my not dying?" i asked, inwardly wondering where my sudden confidence came from.

" and in return? hah, you're quite smart to think to ask. In return I will have you." He answered, a smile appearing upon his lips.

"-me?" I managed to get out, shock painting my features.

"yes, you dear. In return for helping you to live, I want you.

I want you in all ways possible. I want you to love me and only me, And someday I want you to be my wife." He said he leaned into my neck and tightened his grip around me, not too tight, it was actually rather comfortable to be in his arms-, wait‽ what am i thinking‽ This guy is something inhuman, I cannot simply say yes because he gives good hugs.

Sending my discomfort he lifted his head from my neck and stared into my eyes, trying to find the source of it. "if you are worried about what will become of your freedom, don't be. I may be a demon, but I do make sure to give fair deals. In return for helping you to survive, and changing your fate. I want you. and in this deal you will still have your freedom to pursue your hopes and dreams, however you must adapt them because shall you take this deal, I will be in them as well." He finished.

'as much as I don't know the guy, he makes a good point if i don't take this deal I'm dead, and if i do then i have freedom and... a demon' i thought to myself before returning my gaze to the man above me.

"fine, I accept your conditions, only under the circumstances that you will refrain from interfering in my decisions." I said, hoping that I sounded confident.

The man above me looked rather amused, "You're cute." he said, the sudden compliment causing heat to rush to my face, "but you must understand that if you accept my deal that you are allowing me some interference into your life." he continued, his voice turning darker and more threatening as he went on, "if you accept a deal with a demon like me I'll be sure to make it worth your while, I'll be one hell of a husband." he finished, a dangerous glint dancing in his eyes as he did so.

(a/n: !! if you get the reference, your hand in marriage, rn!)

a gasp left my lips at his seriousness, "ok, fine. I accept your conditions, where do I sign?" I asked, assuming that he would have a contract.

"oh there won't be a need for any signatures of such a nature, I'll be using a rather different method." he said, looking down at me, his eyes flickering from my eyes to my neck.

"huh?" I breathed out.

"Not all demons use signatures to signify agreements. Especially one of such importance, instead of using a signature I will be leaving my mark on you." He said pausing, taking a chance to gauge my reaction, "I will be leaving it here." he said darkly while pressing two of his fingers against where my shoulders met my neck.

I stayed silent, waiting for him to make his move, almost every part of me was telling me to run from the man above me, but as always I ignored it and opted to stay still as a statue when he leaned down, peppering my neck in kisses, stopping only when he reached where he said he would place the mark and bit down, hard.

A groan of pain left my lips. I wanted to push him off of me, pain coursed through me, my neck felt like it was on fire.

"a little more lyubov moya." he breathed out, hugging me close to his body as I thrashed around in pain, a small part of me grateful that i didn't have a roommate yet, who knows what they would have thought if they heard this.

after what seemed like an eternity the pain finally became bearable. I attempted to remove myself from the demon's arms only for him to tighten his grip.

"you ought naught forget who you belong to so soon, lyubov moya." he said, adamant about not letting me go for the time being.

I sighed into his arms, 'i'm too tired for this' I thought to myself as a wave of drowsiness washed over me.

"sleep well, lyubov moya." was the last thing i heard before everything turned quiet and i entered a dreamless slumber.

a/n: They always call fyodor a demon, so i just thought i'd make it a reality! I have been wanting to write about this for so long!

(also I figured now was the best time because... of events that happen in the anime)

On another note, school is kicking my ass, one of my teachers is a major bitch, and it makes it really hard to want to actually try in her class. 

*lyubov' moya- my love in russian 

[wishchthumblr]

hate when i finish a fanfic and try to move on to the next fic on my reading list, but i cant start reading the new one because the last one was amazing but it had a kind of an abrupt and unsatisfying ending and im still caught up on it, so i have to spend some time listening to music while pacing in a circle between the kitchen and my room imagining more scenes from the first fanfic so it feels more complete, and hopefully that will let me allow myself the move on from the unsatisfying ending so i can start reading the new fanfic, but it always takes longer than i thought to move on so i just keep pausing the playlist and sit down to start reading the new fic just to not be able to absorb any of the words because my brain hasn’t switched tasks yet and i have to put the phone away and unpause the music and keep pacing for like another hour over and over until my brain finally moves on from bargaining and denial to acceptance

anyone else?

[cannibal-nightmares]

it's moments like these the crash-landing feels perpetual--all-consuming like it's all there's ever had been--and, in a way, it is. surviving this is all a matter of masking and navigating and bargaining and compromise. episodes feel like losses. a subconscious questioning of "if i've made it through all those other days, why can't i do it now all of a sudden?"

block under the cut for vague and not vague paranoid babbling

that noise is goign to kill me for saying any of this but who cares, im a dead man walking whether I say it out loud or not. it always feels like im ying to myself pressing against it. but isnt it right? why is it so fucking loud? there has to be a reason its so adamant. "its the illness." "its real" "it sthe illness" it blurs together. i know thats the whole issue. i cant afford to listen to either side. either side will hurt me, either side will punish me.

my friend asked why i dont skip work when i dont feel well without understanding that i would then never go to work. and dont get it twisted: im one of the top employees in performance. a schizo. a psychotic, crazy, terrified schizo. id skip work today--thats how on fire my nerves are--but i cant afford to. i have to keep my head down and hope they dont pry me open, today especially. i am tired of holding back my angred fear of people. ive started being more upfront w questions, some in the forms of jokes, like my co-worker who gave me a cookie and i said "if this is laced, im going to kick your ass," like when my colleague who mentioned singing in the company cars and i said i dont [because im scared of cameras.] or whatever.

im struggling. I'll admit. it's snowballing. It's a nose-dive death spiral. that clacking overspeed sound. redlining. and i have so much to do. so much to do at what cost? immovable things. i'm moving again? What the fuck. Who made that decision? I guess it was me. I don't remember. alexa, play "the actor" by everything everything. i feel fucking crazy that all of this gets magnified and exacerbated by ptsd/the weather. how stupid is that. how cruel is that? i want to cancel my plans. i cant. i should. i cant. i can't. it won't let me. i also know a more-sane me would be heartbroken. idk whats going to happen between now and late june. I see the dial trembling at its peak. im dead if i do, im dead if I dont. "to join the new river?" that's all it is.

and i have to repeat myself here: this shit isn't new. im just trying to be vulnerable. whatever that means. a glimpse inward. here it is while it's hot. perpetuity. dont you dare pity me. ive got more swords than you could ever begin to imagine, ive just only got two hands. i dont mind being stability for people--i like that i am--but this is whats behind that. with great reason comes unfathomable absurdity. contrast.

[drops-of-universe]

Love never wanted me but i took it anyway. i want to make you as lonely as me. if home is where the heart is, then we're all just fucked. i wish that i was invisble as you make me feel. i'm the invisible man who cant stop staring at his mirror. i'm good to go and i'm going nowhere fast. said i loved you but i lied. ive never seen a heart i couldnt break. choose love or sympathy but never both. everything i wish for will never come true. i've got troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match. i want to hate you half as much as i hate myself. a failure at everything, eighteen and going on extinct. we're the lifers, here till the bitter end, condemned from the start. you only hold me like this because you dont really know who i am. the best of us can find happiness in misery. am i more than you bargained for? i keep my jealousy close 'cause its all mine. we're the kids who feel like dead ends. so give in or just give up. the sounds of this small town make my ears hurt. the captain always goes down with his ship, so when the world ends will god go down with it? they call kids like us vicious, carved out of stone, but for what we've become, we feel more alone. i dont blame you for being you, but you cant blame me for hating it. i know this hurts, it was meant to. i'm casually obsessed, i've forgiven death. im the kind of kid that cant let anything go. all the lovers with no time for me. etc. etc.

[redditreceipts]

You have no idea how grateful i am for your blog. Its eye opening and i no longer feel like a hysterical bitch for worrying about what some trans movements (and im talking about those that want to police cis womens bodies too, not only theirs) was doing to feminism for past years.

Don't get me wrong... i think its fine when they do what makes them happy as long as they dont hurt other people. But more and more it feels like trans women want to dominate female spaces. And honestly, no matter how hard i try, i cant stop thinking thats its just male need to be always in the centre of attention. They come to us and instead of finding companionship and trying to fit in... they bring they own idea what a "woman" is and try to force it on every woman. Ones they dont agree with them they dubbed terfs and think that end of discussion. Another example of male entitlement if you ask me.

Im tired of bending backwards to appease them and once again ignoring womens issues as not to hurt trans womens feelings. Shouldn't they too be more empathetic towards cis women? Shouldn't they feel camaraderie with us? I'm yet to find trans woman who fights for feminist issues that dont concern her (i.e reproductive rights applicable only to bio women) with such ferocity cis women who are TRA fight for her right to be called a "woman". I'd want to be proven otherwise but more and more it seems like we're being talked over by men and male socialised people.

Sorry this came out long and probably makes no sense, but i feel like such a failure as a queer person to think like that. Maybe i am. But as a woman im tired of being silenced all over again. Now by the very people that claim sisterhood to me. But it feels like I'm the only one expected to hold my part of the bargain, they are exempt for some mysterious reasons. It's exhausting, I'm exhausted and honestly losing hope that my problems as a biological woman will ever be taken seriously.

Hey :)

I feel you in how difficult it can be to not feel like you have any people who see the same things you do. I also felt alone for so long because I had this nagging feeling about certain things, but most of the people I could find who were worried about the trans movement were conservative. 

And I also get what it feels like to force yourself into cognitive dissonance. It’s hard to try and convince yourself of things that are so blatantly untrue, and in the end, it doesn’t work. at least not if you’re a same-sex attracted woman who is a lot in LGBT spaces and can’t just “ignore” these things.

And I guess that there are some trans women who genuinely care about women’s issues, the thing is that they are not heard or uplifted because at some point they have to admit that women and trans women are different categories, and the trans activists can’t have that. So every discussion can not be about material issues, but it has to be about the use of language and pseudo-philosophical debates. Because if you look at material reality, you notice that cis women and trans women are not just different types of women, but different sexes altogether (even though trans women sometimes live their lives as though they were female and experience discrimination because of that as well). 

But most male-to-female trans activists are displaying such apparently male behaviour (sexualisation of women, talking over women, not taking women seriously, etc.) that you’d ask yourself why they don’t get dysphoria from that? I mean if I were a male who wanted to be a female, I’d at least try to appear female in some capacity lmao. I sometimes ask myself whether these people actually feel gender dysphoria or whether they have some other mental health problem that has nothing to do with being transgender. 

But you’re not a failure as a queer person. Actually, I don’t think it’s productive to use that term because being “queer” is some nebulous concept whose creation had only the goal to confuse and obscure the “oppression” of biological sex and material reality. Even a kinky straight guy is queer, a straight woman who gets off on reading Yaoi is queer, and by a strict application of the term “queer” as “people who don’t conform to cultural norms around gender and/or sexuality”, even paedophiles are queer. That’s not to say that trans activists use it that way, but the definition leaves space for all kinds of unethical paraphilias. Being queer is not an oppressed class. What is an oppressed class is being a woman, being same-sex attracted, being gender non-conforming, etc. 

You don’t owe the “queer community” anything. You owe it to people who suffer under systems of oppression like racism, capitalism, homophobia etc. to advocate for their rights and treat them as equals. You don’t owe it to some straight guy who watched too much lesbian porn to advocate for his rights. Literally nobody is oppressing him. 

I actually think that at some point, women will realise their shared interests and stand up for themselves. My only fear is that to come to that point, we will go through some sort of conservative “Dark Ages”, but maybe we can do something to prevent that by showing a third way to analyse gender on the basis of material reality. It’s cool that you’re interested in that as well :) 

[stormyoceans]

vv brainrot continuation:

it's time to find yourself a new book (it's time to split up and find a portkey)

the moon is so beautiful today (finally we are looking at the same moon)

why does the music from vv sound again in this scene? they all want me dead

do you want to try jasmine at my house - this is such a stupid flirting in the stylepuen that I just can’t

why don't you try pink (why don't you all stop😭👌)

guess the color (like in a black and white movie)

whine and bargain for something through kisses

feed each other

close your eyes

mittens (I drew them myself) vs a folder (I remember the lines by heart)

HIII PINKYBRAIN HIIIIIIII before getting into this i want to once again thank you for sharing the brainrot with me!!!!!!!! it's such a highlight of my week and it makes me so happy that i can forget all my worries and fears

ANYWAY. this episode had so many nice parallels!!!!! once again puen's spirit took over mork for a while there because like you said THE 'CHECKING OUT JASMINES' LINE?????? ALL THE POUTING AND WHINING AND KISSING?????? MORK THAT AIN'T YOU THAT'S PUEN TALKING!!!!!!!! jk they're both equally bad (read: GOOD) like why are jimmy's characters always so incredibly romantic but also. horny sfjksgdj

as usual you've already pointed out the majority of the brainrot but im gonna add:

1) kissing in the middle of an art gallery!!!!!!

2) talay drawing how he thinks puen looks like vs day deciding to paint mork

3) both puentalay and morkday having a date in an empty restaurant

4) not really a direct parallel, but when both day and mork said 'i want you to be by my side' my brain immediately started playing 'by my side' by jimmy from the vice versa OST once again proving that im never gonna move on from this show

[slackermouse]

anyway ive been having a weird go of it. and i didnt even realize whats been going on for so long until i was trying to rationalize it away to my therapist and she stopped me and was like

"if you feel that way, it sounds more like agoraphobia."

and its been slowly clicking. i have used all possible excuses to avoid going outside. now that university made an exception on physical presence requirements because of state calamity, i have only been to class in person >once< and i couldn't stand being there until it was over. also because when it was actually over, it would be rush hour and the bus would be filled to the brim and id be, honestly, terrified. like always.

it fully clicked now that ive been bargaining with myself for days to go to the supermarket in person. bargaining with myself for how long i can go without the food i like to eat (current comfort food because im autistic and a super picky eater), all because i don't want to go outside.

now im sitting with this and accepting the knowledge that it has been an actual issue for so long. and im kind of at a loss. thats all really.