#im hungry for a cookie now :P

[saccharisu-draws]

Cringetober Day 12 - Niche Interest

I really don't talk enough about these bugs that are KINDA snacks!!!!!!!!!!

[italiansteebie]

i've just now decided to participate in steddie week so here we go. day one: hunger @steddie-week (i know im late shhhhh)

If he was being honest, eddie had been hungry, all day. he'd left without breakfast and admittedly he was way too lazy to pack a lunch.

they were doing a long haul session, starting at 9:30, until... Well when ever it was over, and eddie didn't even begin to think about the food situation.

"eddie, when are we gonna have lunch? im starving here. did you even bring snacks, dude?" dustin's voice floated through the room, the rest off hellfire nodding along with him, and he gave a sheepish look. "sorry," he said, guilt plaguing his tone. dustin blanched, and the rest of the group erupted in protest.

"wait! wait, i can just call steve."

"harrington?" gareth asks apprehensively, dustin nodding along, already making his way to the phone paying no mind to the discomfort of the older boys.

eddie tried to explain to them that harrington, steve, was cool now, but they refuses to see it. he'd been trying to find an excuse for steve to meet them, he wanted them all to be friends. he and steve had been dancing around each other since... the whole thing, and eddie thought it'd be good for steve to meet his friends.

so he went along with dustin's idea.

soon enough steve came crashing through the door with hands full of grocery bags.

he'd really gone all out, snacks and drinks galore, and there was even a container of something that looked suspiciously like homemade cookies.

the session had been paused for food, and rightfully so, eddie was hungrier than he thought he was.

"oh shit, harrington, where did you get these cookies? they're amazing," gareth all but moaned, steve ducking his head, trying to hide his reddening cheeks, "i made them," he shrugs.

and the world stops.

"you... made these?"

"yup" he said cheerfully, popping the p. "awh, stevie. you didn't have to do that." eddie cooed, it was supposed to come across as teasing, but his tone was only fondness.

the rest of hellfire was still raving about the cookies when jeff piped up, "eddie if you don't ask him out, i will. these cookies are too good." and eddie winced. he'd told them about him and steve's little... thing, but never really made any plans to ask steve.

hell, he wasn't even 100% sure that steve even like him like that.

so he took a peak at steve's face, just to gauge his reaction, and well. it was a whole bambi-deer-in-headlights, blushing combo.

"you were gonna ask me out?"

"i mean. it wasn't the plan to do it at hellfire in gareths basement, but... yeah. eventually."

steve was quiet for a moment. "well, go on then."

"what?"

"ask me out, eddie."

eddie's mouth opened and closed a few times, looking around at hellfire who was enraptured with what they were seeing, dustin nodding encouragingly at him.

"so... uh. steve, would you... like to go out with me?"

and suddenly there were lips on his, it took a moment for him to realize what was happening but as soon as his brain caught up, he pulled steve closer and deepened the kiss.

"finally."

and boy. was eddie happy that everyone at hellfire got hangry.

[rhodesrider]

Cookie Dough Ice Cream

Platonic!CG!Damian P. x Platonic!CG!Rhea R x Little!Fem! Reader

Warnings: Age regression, SFW, Slight tantrum, crying

~

Y/N held on to her ear rubbing her earlobe walking down the aisles with her Caregiver Damien. It was his day to grocery shop and Rhea was handling business around town after her gym session. He was looking at the list for everyone’s items and he was confused by some. “Finn wanting all this red meat, and I thought I was a cannibal sweetie.” He smirked and looked at Y/N as she was looking at the ice cream. “Papa! Cookie!” She pouted wanting the Cookie dough ice cream. “After we get the actual food baby.” He smiled and continued getting the meat from the other side of the aisle.

She blinked very confused. Rhea let her get her ice cream now and still is able to get the food they need. “But papa mama gets it now…” she voice as she went to the handle of the fridge. “Now I would hate to start counting and letting mama know about your behavior.” Y/N looked around thinking that was someone else she’s never heard Damien’s voice like that and it terrified her. Rhea was honest more the enforcer and handled Y/N when she would be bad but Damien would be the sweet caregiver and spoiled Y/N rotten. But today isn’t much of a day for that.

Damien’s not in the mood.

“Now back to my side. And don’t let go of the cart handle.” He said sternly not even looking at Y/N. She whimpered and did so not wanting trouble keeping her head down rubbing her ear again. Damien continued to get the vegetables next looking at the mixed ones side eyeing Y/N some as she was looking around but with her hand on the cart. He felt bad not wanting to have that tone with her but he needed to get stuff done. “Papa im hungry…” she mumbled. “When we get home I’ll cook up dinner and we can eat.” He said. Rhea always got something small for Y/N to snack on because dinner would take a while. “Mama gets me some apple slices and chips…” she mumbled and Damien started to get irritated. Even thou Rhea was the stern one, she still spoiled Y/N the same just not as much. “Well sweetie mama isn’t here and I said you have to wait ok? I won’t take long.” He sighed.

Y/N started to bite her nails, Rhea would have did this and did that started to get on Damien’s nerves. He saw the next ingredients and went ahead but he wasn’t paying attention as the toy aisle came up. Y/Ns eyes lit up seeing that they stocked more monster high dolls and squishmellos. “Papa! They have the Christmas squishy and I want another doll please!” She let go of the cart and zoomed to the stuffed animals. “Baby wait we can get that after-“ Hearing those words set Y/N off. “I want it now pal please…” she begged. “I said no not now.” He took the squish away putting it back and turned around seeing Y/N gone. He groaned irritated a bit but kept his cool taking the cart and looking around for her.

He looked around in the small clothing area, knowing she can hide anywhere. Soon he heard a small theme song go off, her bluey watch. He followed the sound and moved back some clothes seeing a crying little holding a monster high doll. She backed in the clothes some, her eyes showing fear. Damien didn’t want this, her being scared of him. “Pumpkin…” he sighed. “I’m sorry papa please don’t tell mama…” she sniffled holding the toy more starting to cry. “Come out sweetie.” He sighed. She came out from the clearance clothes and gave him the doll. “So. We aren’t gonna get this now. I’m sorry sweetie but I don’t appreciate how you acted towards me just now. Not today ok?” She grew silent and sniffled.

“And…I’m gonna have to tell mama what’s been up with you.”

The drive home was silent and as they popped through the door, Y/N ran upstairs and closed her door waiting for Rhea to come home.

Rhea was listening to music humming and walking in tossing her gym bag in the laundry room and sees Damien starting dinner. “Hey D! Where’s lil one?” She asked grabbing some water but looked at him seeing his face. “She’s upstairs waiting for you.” Rhea blinked confused. “I need to tell you about how she’s been acting today.”

Y/Ns’ heart dropped as she heard her door open. She was hiding in the closet. Holding her squish tight starting to cry. “Babygirl…” Rhea called knowing she was in the closet. “Come on out here baby. Mama needs a word.” She sighed. Y/N slowly came out, her eyes bloodshot red and she was in a hoodie, Damien’s hoodie. “Come sit sugar.” She gave a warning smile and watched Y/N sit down and kept her eyes to the floor. “Now, why were we acting up in the store baby?” She gave a low voice making it comfortable for her. “I just wanted ice cream…” Y/N mumbled and sniffled more. “I heard, it’s your favorite.” Rhea placed her hand on Y/Ns. “I was hungry too..” she shook and Rhea continued listening. “I didn’t mean to run away from him…” her tears fell she hid her face right in Rheas side. Rhea held her close smiling. “I know you didn’t. But baby you gotta realized that Damien’s word is as powerful as mine.” She explained. “Remember when mama said she can take down villages when she talks?” Y/N nodded. Y/N knows that her mamas sliver tongue can take down anyone without her laying a finger. “Well bumblebee, papas word takes down Empires. Some even say fight gods.” Y/Ns eyes lit up in amazement, who knew her papa was that powerful. “So when he saids something in a low voice he needs you to listen, you know we try our best to make sure you’re ok. That you have anything you want. In return, we ask for patience.” Y/N nodded. “He was gonna get you the ice cream, the food you wanted and that doll, probably even more but you made him a bit upset.” Rhea explained and cleaned Y/Ns face. “Come on. Let’s go talk to papa.”

~

Damien fixing the rest of the food and loaded the plates. Y/N walked down stairs with Rhea. “Papa…” Y/N mumbled and Damien turned around looking at her. “Babygirl. I wanna apologize to you..” Y/N stopped and tears started to fall. “I should have been a bit more clear and not been so mean. Papa was having a bit of a bad day..” he sighed. Soon he was attacked with a hug, Y/N sobbing in his chest. “Papa I’m sorry! I’ve been bad! Please please don’t be mad at me!” Rhea smiles seeing her little family saying sorry for each of their actions. “You still hungry baby girl?” He asked fixing her hair. She nodded and received a kiss on the forehead. “Well, papa made your favorite.” He smiled. Her eyes went straight to the pot as she saw the homemade spaghetti rest easy. “Getti!!” She giggled as she went to the table. Damien fixed the last plate setting them on the table and gave her a side of cool apple slices. “And after you finish, if you have room. Mama can fix us some ice cream.” Rhea kissed Y/Ns forehead giggling. “Cookies?”

“Cookies.”

[raineyana]

some of my favorite meals that helped me go from 145 to 113 !!

i had a big night-binging problem, so the key was higher cal lunches that keep me from binging at dinner

3/4 cup low cal greek yogurt with banana (198)

2 eggs with tomato and spinach (165)

salad with spinach, olives, tomato, cucumber and a little mozzarella as a treat (99 cals)

celery and carrots with black bean hummus (40)

(i cant believe 2tbsp of this stuff is only 40??)

i dont count the cals from the veggies because weirdly the fact that i dont have to log them is like a reward for choosing something healthier, theyre my safe foods

tunafish packets (70 cals and so filling :p)

chocolate protein drink with almond milk (190)

i drink these the day after a >300 burn workout, they help me feel so full and energetic no matter how hungry or tired i am !!

rice cake and 1tbsp almond butter (133)

this is somehow my guilty pleasure?? almond butter has become my favorite food in the past couple of weeks so i use it as a motivator; im allowed to have it for dinner if its my omad

1/2 grapefruit (50)

this is something that weirdly feels like a binge food?? its really big in volume so it feels like im eating a ton when i usually only eat half of one or 1/3rd at a time. its good for preventing binges bc of this.

2 chocolate chip keto cookies (120)

these are so yummy😭 i highly recommend keeping a food like this in your snacks. building a self control is key, and when im craving something sweet i now have a go to. i keep my portion small and it keeps me in control (this is something i've allowed myself to eat, and there's no reason to feel guilty about it and trigger a binge)

hope this helps someone ! please drop ur low cal meals or omads i would love to try them <3 remember, the its better to binge on more of something that's low cal that less of something that's high cal.

[h0ney-dames]

🌷~ASPEN🐰| NERVOUS BUNNY SHIFTER

(Redacted oc)

*************************************************

*************************************************

Showing your new bunny shifter his room

Sloan POV

You walked into the house, carrying a box of groceries, it was late at night when you got a call from asking her to collect a child, of course, you didn't mind. It was far better than leaving the child stranded all day waiting for sunset

The apartment was clean, as you had recently cleaned up the spare bedroom for any kids she fostered

“Ok, welcome.. uh..” she realised that the department had never properly introduced the kid to her. Which was typical, the person handing off the child seemed rather.. ditzy.

“..a-aspen..” the little bunny shifter was awkwardly fiddling with his hair.

“Well, Aspen, I'm Sloan.. how about I give you a tour? I know the apartments are small, but it's still cosy!”

Aspen slowly looked up, glancing around “..p-pretty house..”

At least the kid had complimented your amazing decorating skills.. even though the house had more of a dark aesthetic.. and the kid seemed quite pastel

“Mhm, glad you like it buddy.. now how about, you and I, go check out the living room? Cus you look like a hungry little bunny”

The boy made a small squeak but followed you towards the living room, you sat down on the sofa, gesturing for him to sit next to you, you turned on the TV, and it opened to the news reporting about a murder. Not exactly child-friendly. So you changed the channel, it was rerunning old moomins episodes

Aspen looked at the TV like he had never seen one before, his little bag still on his back. “Here let me take that bun” You gently took his bag off his back, setting it outside his soon-to-be bedroom.

“I-I'm sorry..” he whispered, it was barely audible, you felt horrible for the kid, he looked so scared.

You walked off to the kitchen, making some sandwiches to go with cookies you had stress-baked earlier, the department's file on the kid didn't say he was allergic to anything, which was good to know.

You walked out with two plates, one had a cheese and ham sandwich, and a packet of salted crisps, and the other had a cheese and ham sandwich with BBQ crisps.

You watched your new little ward's eyes light up, he sat with his legs crossed, the plate on his lap, you opened up your sandwich, placing the BBQ crisps inside of it

“..how’d.. how did you do that..” the boy looked between his sandwich and yours

“Here bun... you take the bread off.. then sprinkle all your crisps on it!” You demonstrated the process for the boy, who looked like you had just shown him how to make fire, he bit into his sandwich, the texture was weird, but it tasted good!

You both sat quietly, eating your food, watching moomins.. “.. I like snufkin.. h-he’s green.. I like green..”

You giggled softly at the little boy “Mhm, that's very smart buddy, snufkin is a very good character..”

“I know my colours… i-i like colours” The boy seemed to be opening up little by little, getting used to being around you.

You gently pat his head, you watched as he flinched he wasn't used to gently touching, you slowly pulled your hand away to show the kid it was ok

“How about... I tell you stuff about me, and you do the same?.. that ok?..”

The boy nodded, turning to face Sloan

“Ok, I'm Sloan, I am a vampire, but I promise I won't drink your blood.. hmm.. oh I'm genderfluid… an-“

“What that..” he hadn't been taught about different types of people

“Genderfluid is… where somedays, I wanna be a girl, somedays I wanna be a boy, and somedays... I dont want anything”

The boy seemed a little shocked but less shocked than other foster kids, he didn't think that was a thing.. “oh… o-okay.. uh.. i-im aspen… im… imma bunny.. sh-shifter.. an-and… i-.. i-i don't know..” he seemed to slowly be panicking more as he talk

“Hey, hey... it's ok!-.. we can… we can think of more fun facts to tell people, in the morning... right now it's pretty late for you”

The boy nodded quietly, gently rubbing his eyes.. he was very tired

“Can I lift you or do you wanna be a big boy and walk?”

He stood up, wanting to walk over to his new room by himself... you offered him your hand which he slowly took

You slowly opened the door to his new bedroom, it was decorated pretty basically, you normally weren't told what kind of kid you were getting till you got to the department.

You looked down at the little kid, whose eyes were locked directly on the bed and the blankets and plushies, you were slightly worried you had messed up.

“Bun you oka-“

He interrupted before you could finish “.. That's my bed..” he sounded so happy.

“Mhm bun, that's your bed, come on I can tuck you in once we get some pjs on you”

You helped Aspen put on a little onesie, it was a green dinosaur one, you made sure to respect Aspen, making sure he was ok with you helping him get dressed so he didn't cry

You gently lifted him up onto the bed, he was too excited to flinch, sinking down into the covers. “Now, my scary little dinosaur bunny.. would you like a plushie for bedtime? Or do you sleep without one?”

“I'm not allowed that..”

“Not allowed what bun?”

“Plushies.. dada said that plushies are for.. for losers…”

The fact that the boy's dad had burned that into his head “..well, your dad isn't here, and I say, plushies are meant to keep ya safe”

He was processing it… “..I-I'd like the plushie..” he looked up at you, you walked over to the box, holding up a couple of plushies till you saw his little eyes light up, even if the kid didn't know he was picking a plushie, he clearly had favourite

You tucked it in next to him, stroking his hair “Now… I need to plan dinner for tomorrow.. so what would you like to eat bun?”

He yawned, pulling the plushie under the covers, holding it awkwardly. “.. I like soup.”

You smiled gently, still stroking his hair as his eyes closed, it was good that he had finally started to let you touch him without flinching.

“Ok soup it is buddy… ill make the best soup ever for you and your little kitty plushie”

The boy's eyes followed you as you shut the curtains in the room, and he looked down at his plushie.. now tucked against his chest*

“..t-this is mine?..”

“All yours bun..”

You walked over, tucking him in and kissing his forehead, before leaving the boy to sleep.

[kirishwima]

do i want. f o o d. or do i want. c a k e.

[trailshome]

i am THIS close to joining the server. a couple hours ago i was fussing over my pfp and im def not as scared but now im in like the “ok how should I say hi?? what are they going to say and how am I gonna respond????” like babe...just...say hi...ugrrnhg anyway how abt #9, when they got hurt as a child who did they go to and how did they react? anyway fun fact: whenever i cuddle/lay/sit with someone i NEED to have a body part touching them. whether that be a leg over both of their legs or an arm holding theirs, i need to be touching/holding them in some way!! i also don't usually cuddle much but I've been doing it more often w/ my mom since she's been working more lately!!

-spice [exxtra fun fact: bambi (my cat) really only loves me. and she kinda likes my mom a little and she tolerates my dad but she heavily dislikes my eldest brother who i’ll call W bc it's easier lol. she usually only cuddles with me and sometimes my mom if im laying with her/she has food and she’ll rub herself on my dad’s legs if shes hungry but i remember the first time(s) W tried to pet her she hissed at him!! which she doesn’t really do (she usually just growls if I try to pick her up when she doesn’t wanna be picked up) so her hissing was not expected haha!! anyway i kinda didn’t expect the ask to get this long so bye!! <3]

//ahh no need to worry!! we don't bite, if you say "hi" we'll say, "hello" back!! <3 ooh I'm not an overly affectionate person (initiation wise) I'm p chill with my friends being more physically affectionate tho -- which is a bit weird but ah well, tis the way of the mollusk!!

Finlay: Probably a nearby priest, didn't really have anyone to turn to otherwise...

Lesilfae: His mother, she was a bit of a Hypochondriac tho -- a cut meant a trip to get tested for various illnesses plus a dose of the TLH equivalent of Tylenol!

Galeon: His papa, Rylefin (I finally named him! now to name the other...), who would give his wound a kiss, a bandage, and then gave Gale a cookie depending on the severity!!

Hollond: Probably went to Mytessa if they needed to, but their parent isn't super... loving, so in most cases they just stopped a maid to get a bandage or smth. Their other parent was equally as hands off so... they had a cold childhood.

Greta: Gramps!! Although, he just tells her to walk it off in most cases (or unwisely tells her to spit on it and pack it with dirt or sand). Might have also gone to her cousins if Gramps wasn't around

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[purpleboyhowonee]

Kim Brothers Mukbang [long]

(i turned off the subtitles because I think they barely subbed anything lmao) 

it started on time with the bros nodding cutely 

they blame each other for calling things awkward 

they both start eating and myungsoo is shocked that a mukbang is showing a person eating. get with the times myungsoo 

they both yell at each other for not saying anything whilst eating

munch munch 

myungsoo: *looks at meat pancakes* is this cold??? sungkyu: ....yeah it’s cold

sungkyu: *makes snarky comment towards the show*  also sungkyu: SoRRY im SOrrY 

myungsoo: you even wore glasses today sungkyu: I did it for the 10th year :’) 

Myungsoo: a bingo board should always start with the CENTER; especially since we talked about the center :’) (woohyun did insta live and made a joke about how sungkyu got his center spot taken) 

*gets a cake* *doesn’t know what to do with cake* 

*couldn’t light candle* *gives up and blows on empty air* 

Myungsoo: Let’s talk about our fave memories Sungkyu: when you left the company Myungsoo: *pikachu meme* (me: oh fuck he did that) 

they have a bingo board to fill out

Sungkyu mentions his favorite memory was their Thailand trip together (where he was mad because sungyeol threw him in the water when he said no and he lost a ring lmao. usual shit) Myungsoo’s favorite memories are the fun they had together during the world tour. (also how they made fun of Sungjong every time they talked together during world tours) 

Fans are putting their fave memories: the brick incident (sbs inki bad era if you dont remember. but how can you forget) SK & MS: LMAO 

they went on to talk about different memories fans commented: mentioned the 5 stop showcase, you are my oppa, sesame player ep7, that summer concerts, etc 

sungkyu slipped and said 7 members and then quickly said 6. both shooketh 

sungkyu makes fun of how tired the military boys sound lmao and how woohyun pre-recorded 20 years worth of videos before going to army lol

Next Bingo spot is them reluctantly feeding each other food (whilst saying one good thing to each other) 

Sungkyu: ......you’re good looking *freaks out* Myungsoo: *Sungkyu avoiding eye contact* You did well  

Sungkyu: We knew each other for more than 10 years now Myungsoo: we were both messes. yes. let’s not talk about it 

they’re feeding us? ? ? ? ? whilst unwillingly holding hands???? Myungsoo: thank you for loving us for 10 years, please accept this food Sungkyu: Please stay well and become rich :)  me: oh god 

Next Bingo spot “10 Party On Our Own” 

Sungkyu: What food do you think a party must have?  Myungsoo: *takes a mouthful of meat* ....meat  Sungkyu: ... (Sungkyu said alcohol btw lmao and did cheers with water. get lit dudes) 

returns to eating

Myungsoo: *reads message* Take care of your health....  Myungsoo: *quickly turns to sk* HYUNG you need to take care of your health Sungkyu: IM HEALTHY. I just dont like to move. does not mean i am not healthy. the more you use something the more you wear it out (lmao ok) 

they moved on to talk about health supplements and food idk where this is going anymore 

myungsoo going for the food; sungkyu: is it good? 

this is the point im starting to get hungry for meat at 7am bc of this AH

they quickly went back to talking about health and health supplements. are we sure this is the 10th anniv and not their 50th birthday or smth wth

talking about Oh My Baby OST 

myungsoo: Live ???? Sungkyu: hold up let me finish eating 

*sungkyu sings* *inspirits die in unison* 

Sungkyu said he finished recording about 3 songs for his solo album!!!!

they finally got to asking how theyre doing lmao; myungsoo mentioned that he is also going to work on another project 

do you heAr me. oh^ 

they finished a bingo. finally lmao. their reward is dessert. 

Next bingo spot: 10 years past, 10 years later 

Sungkyu: What would you tell yourself in the past?  Myungsoo: You know how they say that the start is just the half, just work hard and have fun. You know there’s a saying Carpe Diem Sungkyu: immediately makes fun. what’s the word again??? Myungsoo: C A R P E DIEM. LATIN Sungkyu: If I told myself something in the past: it would be. DO WELL NOW. TIME GOES FAST AND YOU WILL BE OLD.  Myungsoo: how would your past self reply?  Sungkyu: What is that old thing??  *goes back to laughing about carpe diem* 

Sungkyu: how old will we be in 10 years??  Myungsoo: ......oh wow you’ll be -  Sungkyu: YOU’RE NOT MUCH YOUNGER THAN ME 

Sungkyu: I believe we’ll still be doing Infinite in 10 years 

sungkyu said they should do a dinner show for their 20th lmao 

carpe diem x2 

for goods, fan said they should hand out canes LMAO 

sungkyu wonT LET CARPE DIEM GO lmao myungsoo is so embarassed 

finally learned they had a time limit of an hour lmao 

realized they barely ate

realized they have a penalty if they dont finish all the food. gives up

Calls for Cookie Chef when they didn’t need to; they’re doing a punishment

Saying bye: 

Myungsoo: I’m very shy when it comes to words but we couldn’t be here without Inspirits and we’ll continue to work hard and please continue to support us

Sungkyu: We had a lot of good memories and we really couldn;t have done it without you guys, our members couldn’t all make it but there will be a day we can all celebrate together. and you know what I want to say last (carpe diem)

Sungkyu threw dart at the “5 types of hearts for Inspirits” myungsoo dies 

myungsoo throws dart and lands on Sungkyu :)))))) 

give us those 5 hearts old man

they did the munch heart thing the kids do these days 

oh god he did it 

ending song: memories 

me: still crying 

Hope y’all watched this and if you haven’t please go watch this mess! 

HAPPY 10TH !!!!!! 

[chubbydrawer]

George Gingerbread

They say there is a tale of a father named George who always put his family off during the holidays, working long nights. Choosing to make money rather than be with his family. Until that fateful day on Christmas Eve. While driving to work he got into a car accident instantly killing him. Santa saw what had happened and the regret the man had for not seeing his family. So his soul was turned into a gingerbread man and in exchange for helping Santa convince other fathers to spend less time at work and more with their families, he could see his family every holiday.

Kyle sat at the office working hard on his board for demonstrating a new idea to the office by January second. It was December 24th and everyone was just leaving the building to go home to their families. Kyles friend Doug stood in the doorway shaking his head.

“I can’t believe you are going to continue working when you are free to go home to your family!” He said disappointed l.

“I gotta get this done! It’s very important, especially if I want that raise!”

“Kyle I get wanting more money but you need to go home! You have a wife and two kids waiting for you to come home!”

“I will I will! Just staying later till this is finished.”

“Well suit yourself. I am heading home for the holidays! See you next week.”

Doug turned to gather his coat and left on the elevator home. Kyle however sat plugging away at numbers.

A few hours went by and it was now 10pm Kyle got thirsty so he went into the offices break room to grab some water. As he headed back to his desk he saw a small little box wrapped in red and had a green bow on it.

“Hello, who dropped this off?”

Nobody replied, he figured it was maybe Doug or someone in the office who left it hear and left while he got the water. He sat in his office chair and slid the small box in front of him. On his desk. He ran his hand through his full brown locks wondering what on earth it could be! He tugged at the bow until it came loose and gently peeled back the wrapping paper to a red box with a lid. He slowly lifted the lid revealing a cute gingerbread man cookie. Funnily enough the cookie was dressed just like him and had the same features! It had slightly long brown hair piped with frosting and his chestnut brown eyes too! He even wore the same blue button down shirt and Kahkis followed by his brown Clark’s boots! He stared at the cookie amused! Must have been a funny office prank from one of his co workers. The only weird part about the cookie was it didn’t look like a normal cookie cutter type this cookie was rounder like it was supposed to resemble a chubby man. Maybe the cookie just got too spread out when it baked her thought. He was a tad hungry so he put the cookie up to his mouth and took a bite. It was absolutely delicious! He promptly finished the cookie within a few bites and got back to work!

It was another thirty minutes after he had finished his cookie when he heard a strange noise. It sounded like small footsteps entering his office but when he looked up he saw nobody.”Hello?” He called out, but nobody replied. He thought it was his imagination until someone called out his name “Kyyyle.” He looked up again a bit startled seeing there was nobody there. He pushed himself away from his desk in his chair a bit scared.

“Who’s there, don’t try to scare me!”

“You should go home to your family Kyle!” The voice said.

“I don’t know who you are but leVe me alone I’m trying to work!”

Just then he saw a small gingerbread man hop up onto his desk. Kyles jaw dropped in disbelief!

“What the fuck” he said surprised

“Hiya the names George Gingerbread”

Kyle just stared at him confused and shocked. How was a cookie talking to him!

“ listen buddy I tried the ole scary tactic to try to get you home but it obviously didn’t work so I’m going to try another approach here. First off yes I am a gingerbread man so close your lip and stop gawking!”

Kyle closed his mouth but kept staring confused.

“Icame here today because you are here on Christmas Eve rather than at home with your family.Its Christmas Eve you need to spend time with them, money isn’t everything trust me!”

“How can you talk!?” Kyle said still shocked

“I used to be a man just like you but I made a mistake and now I’m a gingerbread man and I’m trying to prevent people like you from doing the same!”

“People like me?”

“Yes workoholics who would rather choose work over their families.”

“ listen I just want to get a raise that’s all it’s not wrong to work hard for the people you love!”

@ sure it’s not wrong for you to work hard for the people you love but it is wrong to ignore them day to day and especially on a holiday!”

“ I’m just going to finish my work and then I’ll head home I. A few hours.”

“It’s already late and you still want to work l...I’m obviously not getting through to you. I used to be like you a working man who always thought about the money or the next raise and my family suffered. It only took till me dying in an accident to understand how wrong I was! Don’t suffer the same fate!”

“ Im really sorry that that happened to you but promise in a few hours I will go home I just really want that raise.”

“*sigh* I guess if you want it that bad. I would just be careful with these desk jobs. I hear they’re notorious for causeing people to pack on the pounds!” George said with a small smirk.

Just then Kyle felt a small rumble in his belly.he looked down to see his belly slight visible under his shirt which was impossible! He was a skinny guy with a nice bit of muscles, there was no way he had a belly! He thought it was bloating until he saw it expand before his eyes pressing tighter into his button up.”what the fuck?” He pressed his fingers into his belly but what he felt shocked him! Instead of a stiff hard belly it was soft and dough like. “What the hell is going on?!” He looked angrily at George

“Just giving you your just desserts! Let me show you the toll years in the office sitting on your ass will do to you in just one night!”

“How are you doing this!”

“That cookie you ate had magic in it... just in case I had to be more persuasive...”

“Ah please make it stop!” He said as his stomach continued to expand further tightening his shirt.”

“Go home to your family”

“I can’t I have to work!”

“Then you can enjoy your new size while you work!”

“Gah no! P-lease”

His belly was now the size of a basketball, his shirt revealing strips of flesh between his buttons. He sat there in his office chair holding the sides of his belly watching and feeling it expand under his fingers! “Oh fuck” he said feeling aroused and terrified at the same time. His pecs were not starting to swell with his belly now causing the top buttons of his dress shirt to tighten. Around his growing form. He started to feel pain around his waist as his love handles grew thicker,further tightening his pants . PING! He watched as his pants button flew off of him sending his belly surging forward. The button flew across the room smacking George clean i. The face knocking him of the desk! “Ah damn that smarted” he said rubbing his head. For the minute that distracted George making Kyle stop expanding for the moment. He looked around at his body. He could tell by the way his arms pressed into his shirt that they lost all definition his thighs were also seemingly bigger making his pants more skinny jean like. He could also feel his ass had grown taking up a bit more of the chair. George hopped back up on the desk. “Now where were we? Oh yes I was making you a dough boy!” He grinned and the Kyle resumed expanding! “ please stop everything is so tight ah!” There is only one way I’ll stop and that’s to go home!”

“I need the promotion”

“Hm wow your persistent. We’ll go on with work then don’t mind me!”

Kyle was still growing! He felt a POP! And then another POP! One buy one the buttons around his belly pinged off and shot across the room. His belly wobbled forward flopping into his lap. His sleeves and pant legs were now so tight they were tearing at the seams. RIIIIIIPPP.!!!! “Oh my it seems your fat ass got to big for your britches!” George said mockingly! “You are gonna pay for this!” Kyle said in anger!” “Oh I highly doubt it but I know you definitely are!” Kyle looked in a mirror on his wall in the office. He couldn’t recognize himself. His face was no longer angular but now was filled with fat blending into his neck. His belly was big and round and covered most of his lap now! He looked 350 lbs a pure lard! “Oh fuck” he said shocked at his size. With another big surge of his body his shirt and pants completely burst of sending his body into a fit of quivering.

“PLEASE make it stop I’ll do anything!”

“Anything?”

“Yes please I don’t want to be so huge” as he said this the chair broke from under him causing him to fall to the floor his whole body shaking as he fell.

“ ok I will not only stop this but also make you thinner if you agree to leave work and spend the entire holidays with our family from now on!”

“Fine whatever you want! I get it I love them and I promise I will just please make this stop!

“Ok it’s a deal!... but before I stop this and change you back.... I want to see you fill up this office.”

“Oh gosh please no. I want to be thin again!”

“I promise after I will but come on let’s have some fun!”

“ uh...fine but only if you change me back once you’re done!”

“Perfect!” He said with a grin.

With that Kyle grew and grew! He laid flat on the floor as his body thickened and his belly continued to rise. He was bearing 400 lbs and his underwear was feeling every inch of it! He just got fatter and fatter. He didn’t want to admit it to George but now he was secretly enjoying it. He continued to grow and grow his whole backside was now causing him to round out with fat. He filled out more and more of the room. Every bit a growth causing hi. To quiver! He rounded out more now so fat that his appendages were being sucks so to his bulbous frame. By the time he stopped his whole body took up half the room and looked like a marshmallow. He laid there imobile. Just then he felt his whole body ripple as George jumped all around his belly like a giant trampoline!

“Wow you are so huge and squishy!”

“Haha I guess I am!”

“Hmmm part of me wants to keep you this big forever!”

“Oh god please no!”

“Don’t worry I won’t! You wouldn’t really be able to be a dad if you were this size!” So I’ll shrink you down!”

With that jack started to decrease in size all his blubber melting away. Jack stood up now completely naked!

“Hey I thought you were going to make me the size I was before? Well I was but u think you look good with a bit of chub!

He looked in the mirror and observed himself! He looked well built and had a nice structure of muscle but was covered in a nice thick layer of fat and he had a nice round belly.

“Haha thanks man I guess I do look good this way!.... do you think you could get me some clothes?”

“ OH YEAH SURE!”

A red button up and green kahkis appeared before him and he through them on ready for his travels home to his family!

“Thank you again for making me realize that I had been wrong.”

“It’s what I do now go get your family! Also I want to give you a gift!”

He handed a small red box to Kyle. He opened it to reveal a pair of red and green underwear!

“I know you secretly enjoyed getting fatter so whenever you put these on you will have the powers to control your weight to any size you want!”

“Wow thanks! I’ll admit I kinda did!”

He gave George a high five and left to go to his wife and kids. George’s work was done so he transformed into his normal self and headed to see his family. Meanwhile As Kyle drove home he was wondering how he was going to explain his new size to his wife. And he also couldn’t wait to try out his new gift

[crewhonk]

Cookie Dough

AN: this is hot. I haven’t written anything in a while and @nomadsgrogers and I’d text messages have been... sinful at best. THIS WAS REQUESTED!

Warnings: filthy fuckin smut. Brief mentions of ptsd,

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER EIGHTEEN! IM NOT GONNA GET IN TROUBLE FOR DISTRIBUTING P*RN TO MINORS

———————————————————

You hadn’t remembered why you had shot up out of bed, covered in a thin sheen of sweat which glowed in the moonlight that shone through the open curtains of your bay window. You hadn’t remembered why your fingers itched or your bones seemed to be wound too tight. You did know, however, that you needed to get away from the damp sheets which clung to your skin too tightly and the grey walls of your room which were surely moving to close in on you.

Your steps down the hallway of the Avengers compound were uneven at best, your vision seemed dark around its edges and your fingertips grazed the walls by means to steady yourself on your way to the light at the end of the hallway. The kitchen and living quarters opened up in front of you shortly, the couches and counters set against a backdrop of the glowing New York skyline. You blinked once, sucking in a deep breath of fresh air and squeezing your eyes shut to blink away the oil on your lids and the tears which had gathered in the corner of your eyes.

You rarely had nightmares of the Red Room anymore— the old Victorian architecture and soft sounds of piano keys seeming far away, but tonight, on the anniversary of her Great Escape the memories seemed so close— so loud. The gunshots and screams and the metal of the handcuffs against the metal of your bed frame echoed too loudly in your ears. There must be some way— some way for you to block everything out, some way for you to make the horrors of That night just a little further away.

So, you found yourself in the kitchen hips swaying in time with the spoon which mixed the cookie dough in the glass bowl you had curled in your arms. Your eyes were closed, whisper-singing the words of Beyonce’s new homecoming album under your breath. The bass and drum lines ringing in your eardrums made the reality of today's meaning seem far away. Your knees and hips and neck were loose under the beat of your favorite song, and you had been so lost in the music that you hadn’t heard the whirring of one metal arm and the thumping of two socked feet.

Bucky Barnes had also been woken up from a nightmare. One which had shaken him to his core— two familiar colored eyes blurred in the background of a gun barrel. It had been the night you had escaped from the Red Room actually. You had taken the commotion of the Winter Soldiers arrival at the Red Room and had worked with the situation, taking out most of the HYDRA soldiers and even a few of your own instructors— the harsh women who had raised you to be quick and efficient and lethal.

Their fault they found themselves an early grave, Bucky guessed.

He and you had fought in the front foyer, and the Soldier could see your desperation to escape in the sloppiness of your movements. The Soldier had pulled his punches and had faced the repercussions of that the next morning, but seeing you now with your hair loose and messy and hips rolling to the beat of whatever music you were playing made every lash and smack worth it.

Steve and Sam teased him almost every day about how you treated each other. Before you had arrived, both Steve and Sam were sure Natasha would eat Bucky alive, but you rolled into the tower with a white blouse and tight black jeans and a red-lipped smile and everything changed. Natasha had finally ended up making a move on both Sam and Steve, while you and Bucky found each other in the competition on the sparring mat. You teased him relentlessly about beating him That Night, and after explaining that he had pulled his punches, ended up caging you under him, thick thighs straddling your waist and fists on the floor inches away from your temple. You had, of course, been breathless under him and just as he was about to let you up, you ground your hips against his, and after a breathless moan from him, had flipped him over and pinned him.

And that had just been the first time you had sparred.

It had been a year since then. A year of teasing and absent-minded touches and sitting too close and watching each others back on missions. You were both a precise, deadly machine alone, but when there was the added factor of danger, you and Bucky would become an unstoppable team— one that even Natasha was nervous around.

You had turned around to the island he was sitting at and finally opened your eyes to start rolling balls of dough when you saw him sitting there, one brow raised and an amused smirk on his lips.

“О, Боже, Джеймс! Какого черта ты делаешь?” [Oh, Jesus Christ, James! What the fuck are you doing?]. You cursed, catching the bowl just before it hit the tiled floor and standing back up the glare at him. “How long have you been there?” You asked, a blush rising to your cheeks at the thought of him watching you unabashedly get down to the music blasting from your earphones.

“Long enough, Приятная вещь. It was nice to see you look so—“ Sexy. Powerful. Beautiful. “Relaxed.” You just rolled your eyes and tried to fight the sudden heat that crept up from your neck to the tips of your ears. He watched it creep up your skin and let his tongue glide across his lower lip. You tried your best to swallow the whimper that threatened to erupt from your throat, quelling it down enough to be able to cover it up with a cough. You were usually above a whimper— but the sight of him in front of you, added with the vulnerability of that day meaning and the accumulation of the past few months worth of sexual tension reduced you to a whimpering mess as the mere sight of Bucky Barnes tongue.

“What’re you making?” He asked, his voice a low timbre from a combination of the thick tension in the air and sleep. It seemed to rumble in your chest and your eyelids fluttered as you tried to process the words coming from his mouth.

“I— um. Cookies. Extra chocolate chips.” You replied, shaking your head minusculely, trying to clear your head of the sudden fog which had fallen over your brain.

“My favorite, but you knew that I think.” He smiled, resting his chin on his metal fist watching your hands dig into the dough and roll it into misshapen balls. His mouth watered as he watched your fingers and tendons in your hands flex and relax under your movements.

“I did.” Your lips pulled into a mischievous smile before you spoke the next words. “I also know they’re Sam’s favorite as well.” A giggle erupted from your throat as you heard Bucky groan at your words.

“But, I didn’t make them for him.” You whispered, breath catching in your throat as his sharp gaze flicked up to you. You rushed your next words, not willing to give him the whole worm before you let him have it. “I made them for me.” He smiled at you, noticing the playful glint in your eyes.

“Wanna try some?” You asked, voice quiet and nervous as if you were asking him to do something far worse to you. He flushed but stood— the soft fabric of his sweatpants doing nothing to hide the fact that he was already half hard. You pretended not to notice as he came to stand beside you leaning his hip against the marble counter and crossing his arms.

Okay, this is how this was going to go down, huh.

You steeled your shaking hands and pinched a small ball of dough between your thumb and forefinger and holding it out for him to take. Instead of taking the dough into his own hand, his flesh hand wrapped itself around your wrist and brought your hand to his lips. You sucked in a breath and could actually feel your pupils dilating as his pink lips wrapped themselves around your fingers, his tongue circling your fingers and hollowing out his cheeks just enough to make your heart stop dead in your chest. He pulled off of your fingers with a wet pop and a smirk at your stunned expression.

“Tastes great, Darling.” He mumbled, his eyes flicking between your eyes and lips which were parted both in shock and in sudden need of oxygen. His fingers which were wrapped around your wrist moved so his fingers could intertwine with your own, smirking when he felt that your fingers were still damp. His metal hand moved to dip on finger in the dough, and steeling his nerves, raised the finger to your lips, sucking in a sharp breath at the sight of your lips closing around his digit, your eyes fluttering shut, and letting out a tiny moan which he could feel vibrate through the vibranium of his arm. Once you had sucked all the dough off his finger, your eyes fluttered up and you looked up at Bucky’s wrecked expression through your lashes.

“It’s really not bad, hey— mmph!” You tried to say before Bucky crashed his lips to yours, a hungry, growling assault that had your knees weak in three seconds flat. His lips were slightly dry, but warm and they fit themselves to yours almost too easily. His metal hand cradled your cheek gently, a touch which contrasted so greatly with the roughness of his lips on your own and the tight grip he had on your hand. Your chest was pressed against his own, and you could feel the hammering of his heart against yours, making you mewl and open your mouth against his. He took the opportunity to lick into your mouth, moaning at the taste of cookie dough and coffee and toothpaste. He stepped forward, not breaking the kiss and pressing you hard against the counter, making you gasp. You could feel his hardness against your stomach and you squeaked when he unwrapped his hands from you and picked you up, planting you firmly on the counter before using one hand to pull you back to him, your hot core pressing right against him, making you both cry out.

“God, Doll. Been waitin’ to have you putty in my hands since the first time I saw you.” He grumbled, pulling away to allow you to catch your breath as he continued to plant kisses over your jaw and neck, biting down and pulling the collar of your sleep shirt to the side to leave a dark, fat bruise on your shoulder.

You sighed and wrapped your fist in his hair, not pulling him anywhere but holding him and scratching his scalp light enough to make him moan against your neck. Your legs wrapped around his and you dug your heels into the back of his thighs— closer. You needed to be closer.

“Baby.” You whimpered, your free hand drifting under his shirt and just above the waistband of his sweat, scratching his skin and making him bite your neck in surprise, trying to repress his moans to a part somewhere deep in his chest. When you noticed him trying to be quiet, you tightened the fist in your hair and pulled him off you.

His gaze was dark, and his lips were beautifully swollen and moist and pouting. You pulled him to kiss you once more before backing away and narrowing your eyes slightly.

“Wanna hear you, Baby. Wanna know what’s good for you, okay?” You whispered, scratching the back of his neck lightly, making his eyelids flutter slightly. He just nodded, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer before crashing his lips to yours.

“Need you.” You whispered against his lips, and you heard his breath catch in his throat. You smirked, making your way to his neck and planting teasing, fluttering kisses to his pulse point and the spot just below his ear, making a small whine tear up his throat. You could almost hear his heartbeat increase as your fingertips dusted just below his waistband and drawing circles in the pubic hair on his lower belly. Your hand soon found itself on the spot just above his cock before you pulled away from his neck and looking at his wrecked, breathless expression.

“No underwear, Baby?” You whispered, looking into his eyes when your hand circled itself around the base of his cock. He made a sound and dropped his head to your shoulder and buried his face into the crook of your neck, breathing you in and trying to not come on the spot.

“Answer me, Honey.” You hummed, fingertips teasing the underside of him before drifting over the head, collecting the pre-cum and using it as further lubrication to start moving your fist slowly up and down his length.

“I usually— fuck, Doll. Jus’ like that Sweetheart. Usually, sleep naked.” His voice was husky and muffled but he skin of your neck and every organ in your chest and stomach fluttered at the thought of him just down the hall, naked every night for the past year.

“Bucky.” You whimpered, gripping him slightly tighter and moving quicker, making him whine and thrust his own hips in time with your hand. Your hips shifted against the counter underneath you, trying to find some form of friction which was so pleasantly rewarded when Bucky slipped his hand under your shorts and pressing one finger on your clit through the soft cotton of your underwear.

“Wet.” He mumbled, hips still thrusting lazily against your motions. He cleared his throat. “Wet for me, huh, Doll?” He said a little more strength behind his voice.

“Yeah, Buck.” You whimpered, gasping as his own fingers pushed your underwear to the side, teasing your folds before slipping two fingers all the way in, curling them upwards and pressing his thumb against your clit, making you see stars. It was only a few seconds of him moving inside of you, your own hand losing rhythm until the shocks of his movements made you see flickers of stars behind your closed eyes.

“Eyes open, darling.” His voice was a low baritone, and you opened your eyes to see his own inches from your own. You whined, a noise coming from somewhere in the back of your throat as your thighs started to shake around his hips.

“You wanna come for me, Sweet Thing?” He mumbled, the tip of his nose tracing over the bridge of your own. You nodded, biting your lips hard enough for the skin to turn white, and he took his other hand and pulled the lips from between your teeth. “Answer me, Honey.” He smirked, copying the words you had said to him not five minutes ago.

“Yes please,” you whined, leaning forward and grazing your teeth over his throat. You felt his moan tear through him and nipped at the skin over his Adam's apple. “Please, Bucky.”

“Not yet, Honey.” He replied, regretfully pulling his fingers from your core and you wanted to cry at the loss of him. Your fist was still wrapped around the base of his cock, your movements long stopped in the blackness of your own pleasure. He lifted his fingers to his mouth, sucking them both dry and pulling them away from his mouth with a pop.

“Tastes fucking perfect, Darling.” He moaned, kissing you again and making sure that you could taste yourself on his lips.

Instead of pulling away from you, he pulled your shorts and underwear down and dropped them on the floor, your baggy sleep shirt doing enough to cover your ass and pulled himself over the waistband of his pants and brushing the tip over your slick.

“Do we need anything, Doll?” He asked, his voice strained as he tried to fight just a little bit of the fog that lay over his brain. You winced, legs closing slightly.

“No.” Your voice was dark, yet another reminder of what today was for you. He blinked rapidly, and let a regretful expression fall over his face.

“Doll, I’m sorry—“

“It’s okay,” You mumbled, pulling him by the back of his neck to crash his lips to yours. He squeaked and pulled away quickly, hands coming to caress your face and wiping the dry skin under your eyes.

“No, It’s not. I’m sorry, Love.” He whispered. The sincerity in his eyes made your heart swell and your eyes flood with tears. Instead of letting him see your grief, you let your head fall into his shoulder and snuck your hands under his shirt, scratching your nails over his hips and waist.

“It’s okay, I promise.” You whispered, kissing his shoulder and shifting against him. The purple head of his cock brushed against your clit and you both jumped and moaned, almost forgetting how close he was to you.

“Are you sure, Doll?” He asked, his voice low in your ear as he kissed the bruise he had left on the muscle of your shoulder.

“Please, James. Need you.” And with that affirmation, he pushed all the way in, making you both gasp loudly. You arched your back and pressed closer to him, your legs widening to a near split, and then wrapping themselves around his waist. You dug your heels into his ass to pull him closer and he hissed as the soft skin of his balls rested on the cold marble.

“Move, Buck. Baby, please.” You whined, needing him to move or do something other than catch his breath. He started slowly— shallow thrusts as you stretched around him and he got used to the feeling of your silky, fluttering walls.

“Heaven.” He mumbled, his voice seemed far away as the curve of his cock completely stole the breath from your lungs. You sat back on your hands, throwing your head back and moaning, feeling every vein and ridge as his thrusts became longer. His hand played with the hem of your shirt before pushing it over your tits, leaning forward and sucking one nipple into his mouth while playing with the other, rolling the bud between two of his cold, vibranium fingers. You moaned again at the sensation and his flesh hand came to clasp itself over your mouth.

“Don’ want everyone to hear what we’re doin’ here, huh?” He grunted, thrusting harder into you, his pelvic bone brushing your clit and making a high pitched whine erupt from your lips, muffled by his hand. You pull his hand away from your mouth and lean forward, kissing him roughly and once more grasping his hair in your fist.

“Would that really be so bad, Sarge?” His thrusts stop at your words, and before you can second guess yourself, he’s pulled completely out of you, manhandled you and pressed your chest and face against the counter.

“Wanna play dirty, huh Kitten?” He grunted, slipping easily between your thighs and hitting even deeper than he had before. His vibranium hand was pressed against the space between your shoulders and his flesh hand gripped the fat on your hips, pulling you to meet every thrust and making you cry out against the countertop, your breath making foggy condensation marks against the surface.

“Harder Sarge, please.” You almost cry, hand scrambling to find purchase on anything. One of them finds the sink tap and you circle your hand around it, knuckles going white as he fucks even harder into you. He leaned forward, then, and you felt all consumed by Bucky Barnes— a feeling you would never be tired of. He started to bite the skin of your shoulder blades, soothing the red marks he left with the flat of his tongue as his hand lets go of its bruising grip of your hips and circling around your front to circle and pinch your clit.

“Fuck, Doll. ‘M close. Where are you.” He growled against your skin, rubbing his fingers harder and making your mouth open in a silent, drawn-out moan.

“‘M gonna cum, Sarge. Can I cum, please.” You half-cry half-beg and he swears you’re sent to him from heaven by God themselves.

“Cum for me, Kitten. Let everyone here know how good ‘m fuckin’ you, huh?” He grunts, pressing you hard enough into the counter that you feel your back crack as you tighten impossibly around him. Your thighs shake as your orgasm rolls through you, making your eyes roll into the back of your head and letting out a moan that comes from somewhere deep in your chest. Bucky feels his own eyes shut, balls tightening before spilling into you, warming you up from the inside and triggering a second, fainter orgasm ripple through your body.

He collapses on top of you, catching his breath against the fabric of your shirt that clings to you slightly due to sweat. His post-orgasm haze is interrupted by the feeling and sound of your giggling under him and he groans, chuckling into your back.

“I hope that perfect sound isn’t because of me.” He grumbled playfully, not opening his eyes.

“I broke the sink.” You laughed, and he opened his eyes, seeing the tap of the sink completely disconnected from its place. He joins you, laughing against the back of your neck and kissing it lightly. You opened your eyes again, sight landing on the bowl of raw cookie dough and groaning.

“I don’t wanna finish the cookies.” He chuckled, pulling himself out of you and pulling his pants back up. He picked up your shorts and underwear before putting the bowl in the fridge and scooping you into his arms. You squeak at the sudden action and cling desperately to him, afraid he would drop you. He kissed your temple, nosing it slightly and shushing you when you tried to wiggle free to wipe down the counter.

“Don’t worry, baby girl. We’ll take care fo it in the morning, okay. Right now I wanna see you curled up in my bed, okay?” He mumbled, his voice rumbling through his chest and making your heart swell with appreciation.

“M’kay, Sarge.”

“You’re gonna kill me, Kitten I swear.”

[driftsaway]

sup , the last of the three intros coming from this demonic hag . please support it and add me on discord to plot with my three devil children ! my discord is xiaojun’s maid#0131

`「✘」KIM JONGIN ( KAI ). CISMALE. HE/HIM. || that new tenant, XAVIER ‘XAV‘ KANG that moved into APT 25, is TWENTY-FIVE years old and is a SOCIALITE. their tenancy to be CALLOUS totally counteracts their ALLURING personality. usually, you can hear BOY IS A GUN* by TYLER THE CREATOR playing throughout their apartment. when i think of them, i think of ENLARGED PUPILS, A PACK OF MARLBORO LIGHTS AND STRINGS HOLDING UP PUPPETS. 「ruby. 20. gmt+1. she/her.」

pinterest !

s t a t i s t i c s

full name: xavier gunhee kang nicknames: xav gender & pronouns: cisgender male , he/him sexuality: bisexual ( feminine lean ) date of birth: june 13th, 1999 ethnicity: korean nationality: american

hometown: new york city , new york current residence: new york city , new york occupation: socialite education: high school

zodiac signs: virgo sun, scorpio moon, libra rising mbti: intj moral alignment: neutral evil

d i v i n g  d e e p e r

drugs tw

ok so unlike my other muses i no longer have it in me to write extensive pretty intros anymore .. its 2:15 am please bare with me . i love u guys

anyways i hope y’all are ready for a ride because .. this is gonna be a long ass ride

xavier’s parents own multiple radio and broadcast stations in korea and were considered to be big shot chaebols -- they weren’t home .. ever . so you can assume he wasn’t held enough as a child .

ever since he was a kid xavier has always acted up , he misbehaved in school , he was mean to girls and bullied boys , he got into fights and he pretty much did everything he wasn’t allowed to . but that didn’t matter , because he got away with all of it . no matter how evil his deeds or how heavy his punishments should have been -- his parents had his back . this resulted in xav ending up with no sense of right and wrong and not a single ounce of empathy .

due to his sense of immortality he basically started doing whatever the fuck he wanted to , after all his devilish acts as a kid his mischief had to turn into something more serious and now xavier has found himself being a drug dealer and supplier for all his rich buddies and basically anyone with money .

no smart cookie because he is doing the one thing one should never do and that is using his own supply !

he is an absolute brat .. i genuinely hate him he is completely insanely self-absorbed and power hungry and he thinks he is the only man to ever walk on this planet .

the definition of destructive , will not only go to extreme lengths to ruin his own life but takes extreme pleasure into ruining other peoples life as well . he has no sense of preservations and will genuinely go above and beyond to destroy himself and/or everyone around him .

he takes extreme pleasure out of playing games with people , i see him as one big puppeteer who just sees everyone as objects he can use and play with until he disregards them . here for the drama , will actively try to ruin people’s life just for a good laugh .

the kind of guy to put drugs in the hands of a recovering addict to ‘help him out of his misery’ ( no joke i have a canon where he purposely did this )

no sense of loyalty

the sick thing about all of it that he is insanely charming and an insanely good liar .. manipulating comes so easy to him like .. idk he kinda gives me chuck bass vibes .. i think .. hes the kinda guy you would let ruin u ? if u get my drift .

life is just one big ass joke to him tbh

im waiting for the day where words will come out of his mouth that arent lies

probably hates himself 

 c o n n e c t i o n s

give me muses he can ruin .. aid in their nasty ways

king of hook ups so give me hook ups !!

messy exes .. idc 

maybe ?? someone trying to change him

 i had so many more ideas a hot min ago but i am sleep i am so sorry

[alswonderland]

Its time

↳Peter Parker x f!reader

↳ Pregnant au/ married life au with Peter Parker where Peter and reader prepare for the arrival of a new member.

↳Warning: avengers being cute af, fluffy goodness, married couple stuff, Peter being suggestive (slightly)

↳A/n: dude you have no clue how long I have been wanting to post this for. I kept procrastinating on writing it even thought I loved the idea.

*edited from the original version*

————————————

“Y/n!” Peter screamed at the top of his lungs “can you get the screws as well?” he asked his 9 month pregnant wife.

Peter was in the middle of setting a baby crib that he had ordered online when you were 3 months pregnant, but due to really bad shipping arrangements the crib had only come two days go. 

Which is why both you and your husband(mostly your husband, because he wasn't letting you do anything) were trying to build the crib as fast as you could because you never know when the baby would pop right out of you, since you were now very close to your due date.

“Coming, coming” you waddled your way to Peter. You gave him the desired object and held your very round belly. “Do you see that sweety, do you see what daddy is making for you? this is going to be your new bed!” you looked at Peter and newly made crib.

You had started to pick up the habit of talking to your baby in the middle of your pregnancy due to the fact that you were bored of staying home alone the entire day, you spoke to your baby, telling him stories about how you and Peter met and how excited is everyone to meet the little one.

Peter looked at you in awe as you rubbed your belly and smiled at your bump. He got on his knees and looked your big belly. He rubbed small circles and whispered soft things only for your infant to hear. Father-son bonding time as he liked to call. 

When ever Peter had time, whether it was after long hours of work at the bureau or going on business trips with Tony , your husband would always find a way to talk to your baby.  

Peter got up from his position to cup your face in his soft hands. “I love you” he said as he kissed your temple softly. 

“I love you, too”

—————————————————————

You opened an eye looking at the glowing red light next to your bed, 3 am. You let out a small groan, angry, it was 3 am and you couldn’t sleep no matter how hard you tried because everytime your eyes closed you would see that beautiful chocolate cake you saw at the grocery store the day before when you went for a late night grocery run with Peter. 

“i knew i should've bought it” you thought resting your hand on your belly and felt kicks. “are you thinking about it too?” smiling you looked over to your sleeping husband. Mouth wide open,  a bit of drool threatening to fall on the baby blue pillowcase he was sleeping on. What a cutie. 

You leaned over to him and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

You slowly removed the covers of your body and tried get off the bed without making any sounds to make up the sleeping beauty next to you. 

“ouch, that hurt!” You whined softly, as you rubbed the area you got kicked “whats wrong?” you pouted.

“Food?” you questioned in a amused tone, and got a kick as a response. With that you walked out of your shared bedroom and made your way to the kitchen. 

“What should we eat?” You bent down a little to look at the items inside your refrigerator.

“Broccoli? Nah who we kidding we ain’t healthy, pasta? Hmm maybe in the morning,” both hungry and  frustrated from no sleep you shut the fridge a bit to hard. You winced at the noise of magnets falling on the floor and prayed that Peter hadn’t woken up. 

“We literally don’t have anything to eat!” you kicked the magnets out of the kitchen making a mental note to tell him in the morning to pick it up. You let a annoyed sigh, when you remembered Peter buying some snacks.

“Ah ha!” You exclaimed looking at the pack of chocolate chips in your pantry. “ I knew I had this somewhere” you grined.

You looked at your belly which was covered in one of Peter’s extra large graphics t-shirts, and said “ let’s get baking kiddo.”

“Ahh smells so good!!!” You exclaimed as you mixed the dough with the chocolate chips “if only I can taste it” you said with a slight pout, as you brought the spoon next to your mouth.

“Don’t you even think about it” said Peter making you jump in fright.

“OMG BABE! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? SCARE THE BABY OUT OF ME?” You screamed as you placed your hand on your rapidly beating heart.

Peter, no longer leaning on the doorway of your kitchen made his way to you. His arms holding you in a soft embrace, as he muttered soft words to calm your poor heart. He kissed your forehead and apologized profusely.

“Y/n what are you even doing here? At this time? It’s almost 3:30?”

“I... well you see Junior over here got hungry and decided that it would be fun playing soccer in my tummy till he gets my attention which he did. So I came into the kitchen to see what is there to eat, but didn’t find anything that I wanted then I remembered that we have chocolate chips left so”

“So you wanted to bake cookies” said Peter with a beautiful grin.

“Oh you know me so well, Mr. Husband” you cooed as you pecked his lips.

He smiled at the gesture and shook his head at your cute antics.

“Well then, since you’re going to be baking cookies I might as well help you. Now go on sit down, and let me do the rest.”

With that he sent you out of the kitchen and put the cookies in the oven and cleaned the kitchen as you eagerly waited for them to be done.

You walked back into the kitchen to see if your treats were ready to eat instead you were faced with your husbands back who was in the process of cleaning the dishes.

“wait what are you doing here” you poked Peter’s arm. “i woke up when you kissed me” he shrug as he continued to do the dishes. “you know babe i really thought i was gonna get something more than just a kiss on the forehead since....well you know.... you were up during fuckboy hours but i guess not” he pouted and then winked “and since we are up now” he sang wiggling his eyebrows, you hit his arms laughing.

“Peter” you gasp “how can you say that and in front of your son ” you faked a shocked expression as Peter jokingly started to strip out of his pjs. 

‘wow a dinner and a show im so lucky’ you thought as you took a bite of a cookie.

—————————————————————

“ OMG BABE!!!!” Peter’s screams rang through the house.

“What what is? What happened? Who died” you came in as fast as you could while you held onto your belly.

“Honey walk slowly you might get hurt” Peter extended his arm for you to take and gently put you down on you shared bed.

“Nothing like that happened but I just realized that you due date is in a week!!!” He exclaimed. “ IN A WEEK!”

“Can you imagine it? A mini me will be waking around this very spot in a week, Y/n can you imagine!!!” He spoke, his eyes shining with each word.

You smiled “ well he won’t be walking yet but YES IM SO EXCITED! Oh that reminds me, I kind of bought some more baby clothes the other day with Nat. Only because they were so cute!” You gushed. “You should’ve been there Peter that store is magical” he laughed at your child like behavior and went to get the bag of clothes from the closet.

“Did you find it?” You asked, getting ready to get them yourself.

“I got it. I got it” he said as he brought a baby blue bag along with a big brown book.

“also look at what I found” he waved your photo album in the air and sat next to you.

“Awe look it’s little Peter with his little willy,” You pointed at your husband’s baby picture.

 Peter’s faced became red, he cleared his throat and turned the page to avoid any more of your comments,  “well its not so small now is it” he let out of a soft ouch and rubbed his arm because you hit his arm for saying such things near his soon-to-be-born baby

As you looked through the album of memories, you started to feel intense pain in your lower abdomen. 

Little driblets of sweat started to from on your forehead and you breathing started to be come more heavy. 

Peter noticed the change in your behavior and placed a hand on the small of back to calm you down. You smiled at him weakly, and grabbed his thigh when the pain became unbearable. 

“P-peter” you quietly let out, “I-I think it’s time” you said looking in between your legs and saw the small water soaking your pants. 

Your water broke.

Peter’s calm expression morphed into a panicked one as he hurriedly took the hospital bag and walked you to the car. 

—————————————————————

The dull colors of the Hospital was making Peter feel more nervous than he actually felt. The thought of something happening to you or the baby in the process of the delivery kept running circles in his mind due to the stress and anxiety he was feeling at that moment. He knew he should not be worrying both you and the baby were in perfect condition, but he was not able to get those nasty thoughts out of his mind. 

Peter felt someone’s hand be placed on his shoulder he quickly looked up and saw Tony’s warm brown eyes. Tony gave him a reassuring smile and open his arms to initiate a hug. Peter overwhelmed with emotion cried in Tony’s affectionate embrace. 

“I’m going to be father” he sobs “I’m going to be Father”. Tony pulled away and looked at Peter in the eye. He cupped his face and whipped the tears away. 

“I know you are. You’re going to be a great one at that.” Tony smiled at the boy whom he saw grow into the fine young man he is today. 

“IM GOING TO BE A UNCLE YALL!!!!” a loud voice rang through the hall. Peter laughed at the familiar voice. He saw his friend Wade wave at him dressed up as a baby sitting in a baby stroller, he waved at the two men while being pushed by Sam and Bucky. 

“He’s so gonna get killed by them by the end of the day” whispered Tony. 

“definitely” Peter said laughing.  

Peter left his father figure when the nurse came to tell him that the contraction has begun.

—————————————————————

You were sitting on the bed with your baby in your embrace, Peter walked up to you and kissed your chapped lips. He leaned forwards and whispered to you how well you did during this hard process. 

“I should go call them,” he kissed the baby and went out.

Peter walked out of the delivery room with a huge smile that light the entire room “you can come see him now” he said and walked back inside to sit beside you on the bed. 

Everyone made their way to the room, walking slowly trying not to wake your newborn. 

“he is so precious,” cooed Natasha as she softly grazed his skin with her finger. “Can I hold him?” she asked. You nodded and let your best friend hold your baby boy. 

“what’s his name” asked Tony as he walked up to the red headed who was caressing the infant. 

“Harry Benjamin Parker” Peter said smiling, “Y/n chose it, but next time i will be the one choosing the name for our child” Peter said and you nodded. 

 “ Next time?” Thor said laughing. “You already planed on the next time Peter?” Thor teased Peter after seeing his face go red. 

“Hey, Hey blondie, stop teasing my son, and auntie Nat can I please hold my grandchild?” Tony said showing his pearly whites in order to get Harry. 

“Why should you get to hold Harry next!” said Steve. “I am the oldest!” 

“No, I should hold harry next,” quipped Thor “It’s always an honor to be held by a god,” 

“A god? oh please, let me hold My God Son harry, since I am his god father! I am his Sirius Black,” said Wade. 

“Wade we never made you the god father,” Peter quietly let out as he took Harry back from Natasha’s hand in fear that something might happen while everyone is fighting to hold his son. 

One of the nurses walked in to your room worried because of the arguing she heard from outside. She would've never thought that one day  she would see the worlds mightiest heroes fighting to hold a baby, but here she was.

Furious because this is most certainly not how one acts in a hospital she kicked them out of the room, and lectured them about how to behave in a hospital.

—————————

[benhaardy]

Hey !! Can I get a ship with both the band and the cast ?? Soooo my name is cyrine and I'm French. I have dark eyes, dark hair and 7 tattoos (small ones). I am pretty outgoing and I like to have fun with my friends ! But I also like to have some "me" time to read for example. I really like to sing and dance. Personality wise I am pretty funny (at least I think I am), very sarcastic but I considered myself as someone who knows well how to listen to others. Oh and I'm a pastry chef ! Thank you ❤❤❤

i ship you with BEN and ROGER!

first of all, he loves your name (“it’s so pretty!”) and when you speak french. ben finds it super cool that you know another language, especially the fact that it’s french and it’s just a super cool one + a p cool country. i feel like he kinda considers himself Unseasoned so to meet someone from a different country (and pull them) is p bomb!

one of your friends introduced you two (*ahem* had a friend who had a sister who’s ex-boyfriends step mom’s kids step-son was best friends with ben) after you rushed to an outing with them and a few new people after work. you couldn’t really clean up but you made do with what you had. you drove there as fast as you could and your friend greeted you, led you in, annnnnnnnd ben was the only one there.

your friends the pluggg lmao.

you guys talked for a while and got to know each other and the rest is history!

his friends love you, your friends love him! you were so honest and just very comfortable around them and they were with you too from the get-go. ben and you host the get-togethers all the time.

speaking of get-togethers/food: you’re a pastry chef!! ben never really had a sweet tooth before you two got together but when you cook sweet pastries: heaven on earth for him. he’ll basically shovel them in his mouth the second they’re cooled. since he likes savory, when you make the savory ones, he’s absolutely in love. all this food is his achilles heel.

“ben!” you scolded, seeing him reach for the treats. “what?!” he had a genuinely confused look on his face. “you’re on a diet, remember?” he remembered, much to his chagrin. “who cares, love? you’re the one who made these. you know how irresistible they are.” hm. he was right.

still didn’t stop you from stopping him from eating more than two.

yours and his humor work very well since you both have similar types. ben and you are often thinking the same thing when it comes to jokes and opinions about something funny and you click well together when it comes to that.

you two talk often. texting, facetiming when you can, talking in person, everything. he knows when you just need some time to yourself though and you can both just comfortably be apart in the same house: he’s downstairs watching football, you’re reading upstairs.

he likes the times when you’re together but apart, where you two are just relaxing in silence. he likes tracing your teeny tattoos during these times and just chilling. theres no need for words.

he loves when you sing to him. adores it. when you two are in the car and you’re singing along to the songs that he’s playing or that you’re playing, he just wants to drive and drive and drive, just so he can hear your wonderful voice.

you guys met when queen was touring in paris and they were still pretty small and you drove there to see them with your friends. the venue was little and cramped so roger pretty mcuh saw you immediately, staring back at him from the front when they conclude the show and he hops off the stand. he kneels down and you think he’s just talking to the people in general or looking at one of your other friends but no!! he’s talking to you!! he invites you backstage and it’s actually pretty pure once you go backstage and you meet the boys.

you talk about how you’ve been a fan for a bit after hearing one of your co-workers talk about them. they played queen during a late night where you were both working and you fell in love. you learn quite a lot ab rog that night (in more ways than one)

your friends cheer for you and when you tell them the story of how you met everyone, they DIE.

roger finds it super cool you’re french. he finds it suppppperrr freakin hot when you speak french during s*** t**** and will literally melt at the knees when he hears you speak it anytime outside of that (but also during it too)

you two sing together a lot!!! its adorable!!! the raspiness of his voice is something you love love love and your own voice is something he loves too. you often harmonize at random times. if you hum a tune, it won’t be too long until he picks it up too.

there may or may not be a tape with the words “untitled song” and “roger and cyrine taylor” somewhere around the house. or in a random studio in japan.

whoever finds it gets a cookie!

(he’s playing guitar and both of you are singing. it was just a random day and the boys left for dinner and neither of you were hungry so you guys wanted to do something with the little alone time and studio time you have)

your friends laugh at you guys dancing together bc he takes the piss always when he dances. 10/10 its a joke but when you actually wanna dance he turns serious and concentrated.

you both are very goofy and outgoing so you guys are loved by a lot of people.

your cooking is something he misses a looooooot when he's away. he has a sweet tooth so he loves when you make pastries and such. when you pick him up from the airport there's almost always a rack of fresh pastries on the counter.

he practically runs into the kitchen, dropping his bags on the ground.

“roger!” “cyrineeeee!” he teases. “you’ve been here for all of two minutes and you’ve already eaten everything!” “you can’t blame me for loving your cooking, babe.”

(you really can’t.)

you listen to all his stories of what happened on tour in the middle of him eating everything you’ve cooked.

this boi is very very very very affectionate but he knows when to back off and just let you chill. it’s quite nice upstairs, reading or cleaning and dancing, and you can hear him from downstairs just bangin around on the drums.

he pouts, yes, when you’re like “i j need to relllllaaaxxx, rog” but it’s mostly just teasing and he understands

when he first saw your tattoos, he wanted to go out and get some but he couldn’t because of the managers who didn’t want his look to be like that. so when you look at modern rog, you know why he has so many tattoos now ;)

hey! sorry if you don’t like,, speak french or are like FRENCH french like i emphasized (QUITE A LOT IM SORRY). i tend to do that when people send in ships cause i want to include everything and whichever i have most inspiration/whatever i relate to most/what i find coolest will almost always get long bullet points and j a lot yknow? lol someone said “i play guitar” and i made p much the whole damn thing about guitar. anyway. your name is so pretty!!!! thank you for requestinggg i hope you enjoy this! gbye

[pinkchannies]

cheesier than cheesecake

i got inspired to write this on my 5 hours flight to hong kong bcz i ate cake on my way to the airport and miraculously wrote this on my flight in one go

also heading to hong kong eh wink wink nudge nudge @ agust d //slapped

well here's a jin oneshot because kim seokjin is my number one man and bias in bts and we need some shoulder man love in our lives amirite

laksndowxjoe i couldn't post this earlier bECAUSE WIFI AND MY COM WASN'T COOPERATING :(( sob well ok here i am posting it now LMAO bless wifi pls live

genre:  fluff , is this considered comedy, crack has slipped into this fic again

requested:  no 

pairing:  seokjin x reader

author notes: reader is a baking/walking disaster bcz mood, jin screaming and being a mama hen, idk how i wrote this in just one flight, chiru probably needs creative writing classes at this point, how do you come up with good titles

----------

the clock read, 2.09am. i groaned. it was one of those days again. or rather, one of those nights. of grueling hunger and cravings. and there was one way to solve it(or make it worse) without actually eating. though it may not be the best way. do u kno da wae-chiru get out i snatched my phone from my bedside table and loaded instagram, heading straight to the buzzfeedtasty instagram account. yes, tasty. the number one guilty pleasure where their food looks so good even with the simplest ingrediants, and when you recreate it it somehow looks like shit. or maybe i'm just a shitty cook. or maybe plating food to make it look aesthetically pleasing is just that difficult. or maybe both. to "satisfy" this sudden craving for sweets, i started watching videos of their deserts. god help me they look so good. the way the cream cheese blends with sugar and turns into a smooth white paste under the electric mixer, with heavy cream added to that mix and that generous teaspoon of vanilla essence that you can literally smell (jin: mMMMm sMELL) through your phone, those cheesecakes and oreos and cream and just all that fattening goodness- y'all this whole instagram account is straight up porn. i already feel fat just by watching these videos. but i'm still hungry af. the struggle is hella real who else can relate "ughhhhhh i wanna bake these godlike creations but i'm scared that i'll accidentally blow up my kitchen..." i groaned into my pillow. yeah, i’m a bit of a walking disaster, luckily i haven't reached namjoon's level. i think. one time my cookies almost turned out spicy because i was cooking spicy noodles at the same time. please don't ask. someone please just buy me a huge cheesecake to binge eat whilst i cry over my bad life decisions, one of which would be eating a whole 1542 calorie cheesecake at the asscrack of dawn. an imaginary or rather, imajinary-chiru stob light bulb went off from my head. there was one man made for this situation. one shoulder man, to be exact. i clicked on the contact "worldwide shoulders" and started typing.

(y/n) 2.30am

shoulder man take me by the hand lead me to the land that u understand

worldwide shoulders 2.35am

ya, its like 2.30am, shouldn't you be asleep? don't make me confiscate your phone

(y/n) 2.35am

sorry mom

worldwide shoulders 2.36am

yA tHIs chILd what's up, u usually don't text this late

(y/n) 2.37am

r u free tmr i wanna bake cheesecake pretty please

worldwide shoulders 2.38am

what a *cheesy* date if i do say so myself

(y/n) 2.38am

jIN its too early for puns :(

worldwide shoulders 2.39am

excuse you my puns are jinius

(y/n) 2.39am

SO cAN U BAKE WITH ME TMR :((( well actually it’ll be later today pls i owe u one

worldwide shoulders 2.40am

fine make sure u have the stuff ready, i'll come over at 10 go sleep its late

(y/n) 2.41am

yAY THANKS JINNIE

worldwide shoulders 2.41am

EXCUSE ME I AM OLDER THAN U (y/n) 2.42am :p see u tmr!! gnite shoulder man *finger heartu* worldwide shoulders 2.43am the disrespect i swear ----- "jin this is too tiring..." i groaned, my arms aching. "just a little bit more... just beat it harder." "look, must i really use my hands for this?" i whined. jin deadpanned. "(y/n) it's becoming white already, just continue. you wanted me to teach you right?" "why the hell can't i just use the electric mixer for the egg whites? its much faster than hand beating it..." i grumbled. "this is as good as doing 240 push-ups like jungkook," i whined. "my child there will be no shortcuts in this house when it comes to baking or cooking," i snorted at that. says the one who uses seasoning in his food. i mean, who doesn't? "i guess we can say that the cake will be eggcellent." he let out a windshield-wiper laugh at his own joke while i groaned at the terrible pun. "jin pls." ----- "DON'T CHOP THE BUTTER LIKE THAT OHMY GOD (Y/N) YOU'RE GOING TO CHOP YOUR HAND OFF LIKE THAT NO YOU'RE WORSE THAN NAMJOON SLICING ONIONS." jin shrieked at my horrible attempt to slice the frozen solid butter. i had forgotten to take the butter out to thaw, so now i had to face the consequences. of slicing, no, chopping, through rock solid butter that is stubborn about becoming smaller pieces. go me

he sighed and went behind me, his larger frame engulfing mine as he positioned my hand to hold the knife properly. "rest your index on top of the blade and your thumb and middle on its sides. this way, you'll have a better grip on the knife. and it reduces the chances of the knife slipping and chopping your finger off." he guides my fingers to hold the knife, while rambling on the precautions to take-which entered one ear and left the other. how am i supposed to concentrate when i've never been in this close proximity with the man until this moment? gosh he was warm and it feels real cozy, his chin gently resting on my shoulder to oversee the process, his larger hand on my smaller one guiding me to chop the butter. how domestic, i chuckled at the thought. i wonder how his hand would look like with his fingers entwined with mine- -which is what i did with the hand unoccupied by the knife. without me even registering it, i grabbed his free hand. our hands were clasped together and our fingers were tangled with each other. “omg (y/n) what are you doing” i screamed in my brain. do y’all ever just get intrusive thoughts like this and regret everything leading up to this moment. jin gave me a quizzical look that screamed "what are you doing." ok but same jin, same. well this turned awkward. in my panic, i let go of his hand. and the knife. good job, (y/n). "OH MY GOD LOOK OUT" jin yelled for what must be the 182297318th time today at my screw up and pulled me away from the knife which fell to the floor with a clang. i was pressed flushed against his chest as he pulled my body closer to his, almost as if we were snuggling. except that now is not really the time to snuggle with the situation at hand. thankfully the knife didn’t hurt any of us, but i knew, i was in deep shit with jin. i mentally braced myself for the lecture i was going to get. oh boy this is going to be ugly. "look (y/n), i dont care if you cant cook for shit." his face was starting to turn red from the incoming rant, and i had to stifle a giggle at that. there was always something amusing about jin scolding-maybe it comes from the fact that even if the mood is serious, he still wants to make everyone laugh and doesn’t want an atmosphere too damp. so his scolding just somehow turns comical. i bit down on my bottom lip harshly to stop the giggles, lest the lecture becomes longer. "but you are handling something sharp, please be careful." "i understand." i sighed. "look if i'm not here, you could have been seriously injured, you can't just play while handling knives. luckily i was around and could pull you away before it landed on your feet and cause you to internally bleed in your toe. do you even know how nasty it looks to have that black blood clot under your nail?" i nodded sheepishly. "loOK, WHAT IF YOU WERE ALONE? YOU COULD HAVE BLED TO DEATH AND THEN I WOULD NEED TO HAUL YOUR ASS TO THE HOSPITAL WHICH WOULD NOT END WELL MAJOR BLOOD LOSS IS NOT A FUN THING OK YOU NEED BLOOD TRANSFUSION SO PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH THE KNIFE DONT BE A SECOND NAMJOON." "yes mom." "excuse you i am not your mother." "alright you're excused mr worldwide handsome... mom." "YA THIS BRAT." ----- thankfully, that was the only major incident-or as the drama queen puts it, life threatening incident-that happened while baking the cheesecake. after 2 hours of screaming together and jin telling me how to carry out baking procedures properly, we finally put the cake together. "jin, she's beautiful." i shed a fake tear at our finished product. fake tear-fake love tear-chiru why are you so lame "yeah, but im more beautiful amirite." ".....you're inedible so obviously the cheesecake is prettier than you." he looked at me with a mock look of offense and i giggled at that. "well at least my face doesn't need to be caked with makeup to look good." "jin, why are you so lame." just like me "hey at least i'm still walking." "oh my god." "i mean that's not my name, but god's also a good name for someone as handsome as me." "........i give up." there was a tense moment of pregnant silence that settled between us. suddenly, we both burst out laughing at our ridiculous banter filled with bad puns, courtesy of jin. "let's eat the cheesecake, shall we?"

[callhimyoungk]

zombie apocalypse with Brian AU

so i finally made a zombie apocalypse AU yayyy this was supposed to be a fic but i got lazy and have no time for writing a full fic sigh ,, but now im writing this out for #day6halloweenfest !!  this is lowkey a total mess ripp please give me some feedback, should i do a part two, or should i do one with each member? this didn’t turn out to be quite what i was expecting sigh but i hope you guys liked it! 

p/s: im prob gonna make one like zombie apocalypse with DAY6

read my other posts under my tag #mine

EDIT: part two

the world is coming to an end and you have no idea how you managed to survive until now, (lol lies) 

you prob survived bc of brian kang 

zoMBIES are everywhere due to some mutant virus that spread globally within weeks 

you were at your university when all hELL BREAKS LOOSE skdkfjf

zombies were piling into the hallways, biting and chasing people, 

that was two months ago, somehow you manage to survive until right now, no point in telling how cause it's all in the past 😏

you met B R I A N in a month after everything went out of control at your university's parking lot 

you were trying to find a car that still works and after an hour of looking around (for both cars and zombies :/ ), you finally found one and

you were just seated in the driver seat when 

someone came running out of one of the school's building 

with a bunch of zombies staggering after him 

it was b r i a n k A N G 

he saw you and a look passed between the both of you 

when he ran towards your car and swung himself in 

"Drive! Drive! Fucking drive!" 

little did he know, you were a really bad driver even tho you got your license 

you legit crashed the rear of the car into another car parked behind yours, making a loud noise, and

making brian cringe 

"Christ, do you even know how to drive?!" 

you drove the car into a zombie stumbling in front of the car before you successfully exited the parking lot, 

all in the while bumping into zombies here and there 

and listen to brian curse and yell 

(surprising tf outta you cause he's MrNiceGuy in your school who's aLwAys Nice, or that's how the story goes) 

cause he wasn't sure if he was safer to bet his chances with the zombies or with your driving skills 

the both of you decided to stick together after you "saved" him from the zombies at the parking lot

"I'm so glad I'm not the only one left alive," he said with a big wide smile 

and at that moment you were pretty sure zombieism(?) is cured

that smile was too perfect

you brought him back to your hideout, a small but secured house near downtown that you found empty during the first week 

he was impressed bc turned out that he had been sleeping in cars for the past month 

"Only two things in this world that could make me happy, a decent bed and decent food" coming from brian 

he was straight up knocked out as soon as he saw the sofa-bed at the living room and fell asleep impossibly quick 

you tried not to stare at him like a creep when he was asleep 

he really was perfect 

When he was finally awoke from his sleep you showed him your food collection 

hams, beef jerky, canned food, dried fruit, chips, cookies, sodas, water, chocolates

he was quiet for a moment before he grabbed his backpack 

took out all of the food he stored inside and pushed them to you 

"uh what are you doing? what-" 

"DON'T EVER TRUST ME AROUND FOOD"

he looked so cute in your eyes ;)

that night, you guys shared your food together 

and he told you about him sleeping in cars and where he get food 

he basically swept the university cafeteria clean off food 

"Why leave all those edible food to waste when I could fill up my never ending hunger?"

you had to agree with that because honestly true af 

you told about how you find food and how you found this house 

he was really impressed and that made you feel proud of yourself 

it wasn't long before he got sleepy again, but he looked hesitant to go to sleep again

thinking that he was worried about zombies breaking in, you reassured him that the house was really safe and that every door and window was locked up and blocked- 

"No no I wasn't really worrying about that. I feel bad for taking up your bed. Maybe we should just sleep together"

(VErY GoOd B r i a n k a n g)

you choKED and you wondered if he was being serious

and he looked at your face and FINALLY realized what he had said 

"I-I mean we should share...a bed.. together, and n-not sleeping together, you know, in that way," 

he was blushing 

i repeat 

BRIAN KANG WAS BLUSHING

so the both of you ended up s l e e p i n g together 

okay sharing a bed together 

you two never talked about how the both of you were legit cuddling and hugging with each other during your sleep 

e v e r y t i m e 

the both of you left town a few days later, before food was running out 

bc brian was a big eater

the two of you drove here and there, scavenging along your journey

gathering all the supplies you can 

and fighting zombies all the while ofc 

whenever you both prepared to enter some shady stores/houses, he nEVER allowed you to enter first 

(aw)  

the both of you just slept in the car, ate in the car, hanging out in there bc the both of you couldn’t find any safe places

he was always happy whenever you guys found enough amount of food to last days 

but oh boy, you should had trusted him when he said to never let him take care of food 

there was this one time when you woke up in the middle of the night inside the dark car, 

( a lot of time actually) 

and there he was. eating two chocopies  at once 

“I’m too hungry, y/n, i’m too hungry PLEASE FORGIVE ME”

but you forgave him as soon as he shared his chocopie with you 

the both of you always tried to talk to each other as much as possible

getting to know each other etc

to build up our teamwork and friendship, brian would say 

he would tell you about his life and his dreams before the apocalypse

he loved to sing so you would always ask him to sing for you, especially during the night when the both of you were deep in thoughts and not feeling sleepy yet 

luCKy you 

his voice would lull you to sleep 

you two got close real quick, 

the effect of spending every day and every night together 

he looked after you all the time, making sure you had enough sleep, and enough food 

once you got sick, and he was so panicked and upset 

he tried his best to help you 

he didn’t want to lose you as he couldn’t imagine surviving a world like this without you 

developed a crush on you after two months of living with each other 

but he will never tell you 

bc he feels like you were not even interested

which ofc you are, helloooo this is brian kang we’re talking about 

you tried to coax him into telling you that he likes you 

but he always changed the subject

“Brian, i know you like me” 

“I like anyone who’s alive and has a heartbeat right now,”

someone go and punch this clueless boi please

but you guys were already behaving like a couple anyway 

the both of you cuddled every night before going to sleep 

he thought you didn’t know that he gave you forehead kisses every night when he thought you were asleep 

“Brian stop kissing me,” 

he acted like he fell asleep already 

you two promised to keep each other safe no matter what 

and you two planned to do just so 

the zombie apocalypse was just slightly bearable bc you two have each other to count on and lean on