#im just going to tag in case. since it is implied

[nonbinoclard]

in the tags of that fem harry boobs post someone joked about tugging kim's ponytail and that sparked an idea for a funny comic, but the more i thought about it the less funny it became

[lieserli]

hm. parallels and what not

[the-sparkling-diamond-satine]

.

[ivymarquis]

The Neighbor

Hello friends I fucked off for a month but I’m back and I bring Price smut as an apology for my absence. @sky-is-the-limit’s “Im here to do what your boyfriend cant” prompt has lived in my brain rent free ecer since I read it and while I didn’t follow it verbatim, I did keep in spirit with the theme :)

Also womp I was gone for the Price challenge by @glitterypirateduck but this actually checks off a couple of the prompt options (first time being intimate, a confession/secret is discovered/revealed) so I’m submitting it.

There are a lot of tags. Make sure you read them.

Pairing| John Price x Reader Rating| M Word Count| 4.8k Kinks/Content/Warnings| Accidental voyuerism by virtue of living in an apartment, the reader has a dogshit boyfriend at the beginning of the fic (there is no cheating), slut shaming (from the dogshit boyfriend), these two idiots are down bad for each other, sex toys, oral (F!receiving), unprotected PiV, gratuitous squirting because I’m me, not really heavy on BDSM elements but mentions of the following: bondage/restraints (John uses his hands, nothing crazy), something akin to subspace from how good the nut is, aftercare, John is a prick to the now-ex, very brief angst due to a quick misunderstanding, very vaguely implied somnophilia, rampant abuse of italics. Lemme know if I missed anything.

His neighbor is clearly used to Price being deployed.

She’s a sweet thing, really, and on the whole isn’t that disagreeable of a neighbor.

He just has one problem with her (not even her, really) that is a thorn in his fucking side- her boyfriend.

The boyfriend was not an issue when they first met- wasn’t in the picture at all.

And no John most assuredly hasn’t had it out for the guy since Day 1. The fact that John had gathered himself up to ask his pretty neighbor out when he came back from his latest mission, only to find out about the new boyfriend, does not color his impression of the other man. He’s grown and this is not the first time his advances have been turned away for whatever reason.

But there are, to his knowledge, no true redeeming qualities about the man and he is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

He catches bits and pieces through the walls. The boyfriend is not attentive, caring, or sweet to her. She is treated as a guest in her own home, and twice he’s heard bellowing shouts that had Price at the door with his fist banging against it- both to shut him up and make it exceptionally well known that if the boyfriend thinks intimidating a woman is going to fly, that Price will not hesitate to kick the door in.

The most appalling part of it all is that John has a front row seat to just how atrocious he is in bed.

For the life of him John does not understand. It’s not even like the lad’s a good lay.

He’s heard many stories of women tolerating absolutely atrocious behavior from the muppets they were with because he knew how to make them see stars.

That is exceptionally not the case here. And John is rapidly finding his patience wearing thin at continually being subjugated to his pathetic performance.

So what the hell is it about the boyfriend that keeps his neighbor so enamored with him?

John stares at the ceiling, watching the blades of the fan turn as he tries to tune out the thumping of the headboard against the wall.

He thinks that if the man was just a bad lay and completely incapable of getting her anywhere, that would be one thing and John would continue to be frustrated but ultimately understand. But it’s the way he seems to actively ruin it anytime she has the audacity to enjoy having sex with him that truly grates on John’s nerves.

It’s not often, but even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. The thumping of the headboard is accompanied by her sweet voice moaning lowly in short staccato notes as the boyfriend appears to finally be doing something right.

The thumping comes to a halt, and John groans in frustration.

“Why’d you stop?” He can hear his pretty neighbor lament through the thin walls.

“Why the fuck are you being so loud? Trying to give the neighbor a show?”

John squints his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance. The fucking muppet can’t do anything right.

If the neighbor was his, John wouldn’t give a fuck who heard. Let all the neighbors know that he could fuck the sense clear out of her pretty little head. John could show the muppet what loud is.

“No! I’m not trying to do anything- it just felt good,” she defends herself.

“Well, be quieter about it, no one needs to hear that. You sound like a whore,” the muppet snaps at her irritably, and John is nearly at his fucking limit when the god damn headboard starts to thump against the wall again.

“Get out.”

Oh.

John is impressed- pleasure and pride coursing through him as his sweet neighbor stands up for herself rather than letting that ungrateful swine continue to berate her.

Good fucking girl.

“What did you just say?” The thumping stops.

“You don’t get to call me names. Get off of me and get out.”

For all his sins, it seems even the muppet has a line he’s not willing to cross.

There’s a shifting as he presumably pulls out and gets off the bed- the words are muffled but the tone is clear. The muppet isn’t above laying into her verbally though consent is (smartly) a line he won’t toe.

And good thinking on his part- John would probably tear through the drywall and turn him into a chew toy had that conversation gone in any other direction.

The door slams loudly, announcing the boyfriend’s departure.

John can’t help but keep his attention on his neighbor to see what her reaction is going to be. It is taking every ounce of self control he has to not follow the boyfriend and wring his neck in the parking lot.

There’s no conventional guide for how to address this situation with your neighbor. ‘Hello, I’ve fancied you for quite some time and that ungrateful prick somehow swept you up before I got the nerve to ask you out. I've had to hear you have the most lackluster sex ever for the past several months, and equal parts want to check in on how you’re doing emotionally after his latest stunt, and also want to bend you over and pin you to the mattress until you’re squealing. May I come in?’

He can’t say he is too surprised to hear things slamming about in the apartment- his pretty neighbor sounding more pissed off than upset, catching snippets of “Who the fuck does he think he is, talking to me like that” and “Motherfucker couldn’t find my clit with a map and a headlamp but can find the audacity to call me names-”

Okay, John has to fight back the urge to laugh at that last one lest she hear him. She’s quite the viper when (finally) provoked, and it just endears her more to him.

She doesn’t appear particularly distraught, the slamming and huffing and muttering concluding with her tossing herself on the bed.

It’s a very common occurrence that after the neighbor’s rendezvous with her lazy boyfriend, John is treated to a show where she finishes herself off with her toys.

The boyfriend, like many inadequate men, is threatened by them and John has heard the snide remarks.

Hilarious, he finds it, that a man incapable of getting her off is so adamant that she gets rid of them.

She hasn’t listened, clearly, as the low sound of her vibrator can be heard through the wall.

John is soon graced with the sound of her panting moans. His cock stiffens in interest at her voice, which is a frequent occurrence. She makes such pretty noises, mewling and whimpering as she works herself up.

Tonight is a whirlwind of emotions for his pretty neighbor, and at the end of the day her no-good boyfriend left her high and dry.

John will gladly enjoy the consequences of the boyfriend’s actions, one hand wrapping around his cock and beginning to stroke in time with her whines.

What he wouldn’t give for a chance to make her see stars. He’d be so good to her.

The reality of his job makes dating a logistical nightmare, part of what stayed his hand for so long.

He’s not blind. His neighbor is kind and sweet with a killer smile and wandering eyes. He’s caught her more than once ogling him when he’s returned home in uniform, or more nondescript tactical clothing.

Feeling her gaze on him always makes him puff up with pride, enjoying holding her attention no matter how fleeting. If he takes his time after a run and makes a point to pull the hem of his shirt up to wipe at his brow where she can see it, that’s his business.

So John thinks he’s dreaming when he hears that lovely voice whimper his name from the other side of the wall.

He stiffens, quietly waiting to see if he hears it again.

“John- Oh, fuck- please,” is all he needs to hear before he’s well and truly lost any semblance of patience.

Only having the presence of mind to dress himself enough to not warrant any errant looks from the other neighbors, he is at her door in a second.

It’s only after he knocks that he realizes he may well have killed whatever momentum she’s built for herself- given her muttering as she approaches the door- but he fully intends to make up for the stolen release.

She opens the door without looking through the peephole, obviously expecting it to be the ex based on the vitriol poised to spill at John’s chest, approximately eye level with where the (hopefully ex) boyfriend would be.

Once again he has to stifle a laugh, finding her a comical vision when the anger on her face melts away as her eyes flick up to his face with the realization that it is him at the door and not the object of her ire.

“What are you doing here, John?” Christ, he’s always been a sucker for pretty doe eyes. If he held even an ounce less of restraint he’d be mounting her right here for everyone to see.

“I’m here to do what your sorry excuse of a boyfriend can’t.”

Even as he reaches out to pull her in for a kiss, he’s watching her body language- gauging if she stiffens or shifts away.

She doesn’t.

In fact, her arms loop behind him and pull him closer, tugging on his hair and his shirt.

John’s not wasting any more time than he already has, walking her backwards into the apartment and shutting the door with his foot before reaching back to lock it- he’s got no desire for any interruptions from wayward former boyfriends.

They separate for a moment as she paws at the hem of his shirt, clearly wanting it off of him. John is all too happy to oblige, preening under her attention. He’s always had the stockier build of a man who’s fitness came from utility in the field, opposed to the hard defined abs of someone who spends most of their time in the gym.

It’s cute, the way she has to pry her eyes up to his face- clearly liking what she sees and flustered by the fact that John can see her staring.

“I broke up with him,” she clarifies.

“Good,” is his simplistic response, although if John’s being honest with himself he doesn’t really care about the finer details. The little prick never deserved to have her and John finally has his chance to prove himself worthy.

“The bedroom’s this way,” she prompts between kisses.

Their clothes are peeled off in turns as they stumble towards the room. The layout is inverted to John’s own flat nextdoor, so despite having never stepped foot inside before he guides her to keep her from crashing into something behind her.

By the time they are collapsing against her bed, they’re stripped of everything except a scant thong on her and his own boxers.

She’s just so delightfully soft in his grip, John can’t keep his hands or his mouth off of her.

The feeling is reciprocated as she pushes up off the bed to grind against him. As much as he’s relishing in them dry humping and making out like teenagers, he’s wanted her for so long and now that she’s finally willing and pliant underneath him, he’s itching for a taste of her.

Kissing his way down her body- starting at her jaw, the column of her neck, across her collar bone, down her sternum; latching onto each nipple and teasing them to hardened peaks before continuing his path down.

He’s compelled by the urge to turn her into a chew toy as he reaches her belly, although he stifles that urge and keeps his teeth to himself.

He can’t quite resist giving a small nip as she squirms, clearly excited by the implication of where he’s heading.

There’s a damp spot on her underwear already as he kisses along the waistband while his hands tease with the elastic on either side of her hips.

The sound of her breath hitching in anticipation makes him smirk, attention drifting further south.

The fabric is in his way as he presses a kiss against her clothed cunt, gripping handfuls of her hips to keep her still as she bucks in his grasp.

“Easy, sweetheart- we’ve got all night,” he soothes before moving his attention up one thigh to the backside of her knee.

Those sweet thighs are splayed open for him, giving John unfettered access as he continues to tease.

“When’s this sweet cunt been eaten last, hm?”

He knows he’s heard her give that undeserving muppet head, but can’t recall any reciprocation occuring. There’s not much that can shock John at this point in his life, and he’s willing to roll the dice by dragging up her now-ex because he knows this poor thing hasn’t been eaten until she’s begging him off in ages.

“I couldn’t even begin to tell you,” she answers breathlessly, anticipating having her thighs twitching in his hold.

Out of the corner of his eye, John spies a torn condom wrapper that didn’t quite make it into the bin. Well that keeps him from having to ask two questions, then. Smart girl.

“What a shame,” he tsks lightly, peppering kisses back up and down her thigh.

Deciding that she’s waited long enough and he’s had his fun being a tease, John is quick to remove the scant lace and pull it off of her legs before tossing it to who-knows-where.

The sounds she makes as he makes a meal out of her is music to his ears. Each hitched moan and breathy whimper makes him stiffen in interest.

His attention shifts to focus on her clit, tongue circling the sensitive nub as his hands hold her hips in place.

As focused as he is on what’s right in front of him, it takes a moment for John to realize that she’s stifling her noises. One hand is fisting the sheets beneath her while the other is clamped across her lips.

Well. That simply won’t do.

The ex may have trained and shamed her into silence, but John didn’t make it as a military captain without learning how to break someone else’s bad habits.

He ignores her whimper of protest as he stops, one hand abandoning the softness of her hip in favor of grabbing her wrist and pulling her hand away from her mouth.

“None of that,” he admonishes gently, pressing a kiss to one thigh. “Let me hear you.”

“I-I’m too loud,” she protests and for a split second John sees red.

To his credit, he does not leave her wet and leaking on the bed to go bludgeon her ex to death with a blunt object.

“No such thing, sweetheart,” he soothes before having a thought to tease her. “Who are you worried is going to hear you?” He asks kindly, a shit eating grin as he speaks again, “the neighbor?”

Her wide eyed expression is thoroughly scandalized and John can’t fight the chuckle that escapes him.

He hasn’t released her wrist yet, deciding that it’s time to get back to his meal. If she abandons gripping the sheet with her free hand to cover her mouth again, he simply plans to hold both of her wrists.

It’s tentative at first, still not entirely trusting John at his word that he wants to hear her.

But John is all for positive reinforcement as a motivator, crooking his fingers to stroke that one spot that makes her see stars to encourage more from her.

She’s a quick study, although when she releases the sheet John is watching her like a hawk.

Rather than clasping over her mouth again, John is pleased when her fingers end up burying in his hair.

More than happy to let her guide him, John takes his cues from how she pulls at his hair. The feel of her thighs twitching as she breathes in staccato breaths is all the reward he needs.

“You’re getting close,” he says against her cunt, pointing out the obvious before getting back to work. She’s anxious, he thinks, the closer she gets to her climax. Poor girl doesn’t know what to do with herself with an orgasm she hasn’t had to put all the work into.

“D-don’t stop,” she stammers, rewarded immediately with John redoubling his efforts.

He’s not going to stop. Pretty thing like her deserves nothing less than laying on her back and enjoying getting her cunt eaten out.

“O-oh fuck,” is his only warning before she’s gushing on his face and John is like a kid on Christmas morning.

He doesn’t even know if she realizes she’s squirted, too caught up in the pleasure of her high.

He’s always thought it was hot- now that he knows his pretty neighbor is a squirter he is more than willing to get on his knees and pray to whoever is listening that this isn’t a one time event. He’ll do anything to get her to keep him.

Even as her high fades he doesn’t let up on her, continuing to work his middle and ring finger inside of her. All he wants is to see her cum- wants to see those eyes roll as she squeezes them shut in anticipation.

Despite pulling his face away from her wet pussy, he doesn’t leave her clit unattended for long before his thumb is gently circling in time with the thrusts of his fingers.

Kissing his way back up her body, John can’t help but be pleased as she pulls him in to make out with him. Snatched gasps and bucks of her hips grace his ears as he works her from orgasm to the next, the wet sound of his palm slapping against her.

“John Im gonna cum again,” she whimpers in warning.

He feels like a god with the way she stares up at him reverently, eyes wide and desperate for another climax.

“Come on,” he goads, “Show me- let me see your face when you cum.”

Christ if her leg twitches any harder it’s going to start vibrating, serving to only encourage him.

“O-oh,” she mewls, “God- don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t-“ she’s pleading with him like he wouldn’t sit at her feet if she asked him to.

The bewildered look on her face is darling, and John nearly finishes untouched; he's so wound up it’s not going to take much.

A few choice thoughts keep his own eminent climax at bay and buys him enough breathing room. She bucks and trembles in his hold, a high pitched squeal escaping her as he proves not only can he make her cum twice, but he can make her squirt like a faucet twice.

As soon as she’s starting to come down from her high she’s pulling at him, drawing up her knees to spread her legs in invitation.

“Greedy girl,” he teases as he kisses her- wet fingers abandoning her cunt in favor of manhandling her, wrapping her legs around his waist as he positions himself.

“Please, please, please-“ she begs so prettily for him, pleading for him to do exactly what he’s been fantasizing about for months.

He’s not a small man and mindful of that fact, but she’s well prepped and takes him easily. The desperate whimper that escapes her sears into John’s memory.

The buildup of everything finally gets to him as he wastes no time setting a steady pace.

“That’s it, sweetheart, just like that. Let me hear you,” he encourages as she cants her hips in time with his, whines of pleasure escaping her on each thrust.

“John, please,” she begs, eyebrows furrowing in pleasure as she watches where they’re joined.

“Eyes up here,” he instructs and Christ he almost loses it when her gaze flicks from between their bodies up to his face.

His hands find hers, fingers lacing together as he lowers his torso in order to kiss the ethereal creature underneath him.

She whimpers into his mouth, her sounds only encouraging John.

Everything about her is warm and inviting, from her soft skin to her warm cunt and the way she sings for him at every thrust.

Maneuvering them so he can grip both her wrists with one of his hands, the other immediately dives between their bodies to find her clit again.

His pretty neighbor has spent months not having an orgasm she didn’t give herself, and John is determined to prove to her that he can give her as many as she can handle.

“John I can’t cum again,” she pleads even as her thighs shake on either side of him.

“Yes you can,” he assures her. “One more time for me, yeah?”

Now, should she insist she’s done and satisfied then John would leave her clit alone and finish up their fun. As it is, though, she nods in acquiescence before the trembling in her thighs increases.

“Good girl,” he praises, fingers continuing their steady pace around her clit as she creeps closer to the edge.

She’s babbling in his ear as he presses a kiss to her temple and he knows she’s almost there.

“Good girl,” he praises again, a cocksure grin pulling at the corners of his lips at her immediate response.

“My good girl,” he ups the ante, testing her response to John staking a claim on her. And God did it ever work. That last little bit is all it takes to finally tip her over.

She clenches down on him like a vice and John immediately loses it, groaning low as the haze of his orgasm washes over him.

It’s everything he wants- she’s everything he wants as he recovers enough from his climax to finally notice that the bed is an utter mess beneath them.

It’s not his immediate concern however, more interested in soothing her through the come down of her high. She’s shivering underneath him, eyes glossy from the intensity of her last orgasm.

“Easy, sweetheart,” he murmurs reassuringly. “Just breathe for me.”

He gathers her up in his arms, listening as her heartbeat relaxes in time with his own.

Eventually when enough time passes she’s more alert and happily snuggling against his chest. After giving her a chance to rest he herds her along to the bathroom so she doesn’t give herself a UTI. She tries to brush him off but her legs are taking their sweet time cooperating again.

Of course, she’s not exactly a recruit taking a piss test so he gives her her privacy and she’s able to return on her own albeit on shaky legs.

John pets at her head idly, attention drifting in post coital bliss as his hand strokes down along her back.

“I can’t believe you’re actually in my bed,” she giggles deliriously after a stretch of quiet.

“Only reason I wasn’t here sooner was because of that muppet,” he assures her. He doesn’t want her thinking that this is a one time thing for him. He’s wanted her for so long he can’t possibly be expected to turn her loose at the end of the night.

“I only dated him because I didn’t think you liked me,” she scoffs at herself.

“Oh, it was nearly the first moment I laid eyes on you. But with my work I kept talking myself out of doing anything,” he tells her. “Kept telling myself you deserve better. And then you brought the muppet home and kept him around,” John grouses good naturedly at her. “Think they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

“I plead temporary insanity,” she jokes, snuggling closer against his chest. “But I got rid of him. And you finally made your move.”

He hums in agreement, sleep pulling at him now that he has her tucked up against his side.

John doesn’t remember falling asleep but he wakes with a jolt to the sound of pounding on her door.

He’s only been out for an hour or so when he checks the clock on the nightstand, his neighbor sprawled out next to him.

Well, now he knows she snores. The sound is light enough to have never heard it through the wall, but curled up next to him she’s like a cat purring loudly in his ear.

And he’s exceptionally pissed right off at the fact someone has woken him up. Especially considering he has one guess who it is.

He fully debates answering the door buck ass naked to teach the prick a lesson about banging on doors after midnight but settles on tossing his joggers on.

Much like when she opened the door for John, the ex is automatically trained at where her head would be rather than looking at John’s face.

“My eyes are here,” he quips sarcastically. “Why the fuck are you banging on the door this late.”

“Why th-“ the ex starts to parrot back before cutting himself off. “Why the fuck are you in her apartment? Why isn’t she answering?”

“She’s asleep,” John answers simply. There’s no obligation to explain the why and how he ended up in her apartment.

“What the fuck do you mean she’s asleep? How is she asleep after she just dumped me? And why the fuck are you here?”

The boyfriend (the ex boyfriend, he thinks with glee) is either oblivious or…

Well. The ex boyfriend is oblivious. Let’s just keep it at that.

“I’m here because you can’t do your job right. She’s asleep because I can. What part of that is confusing?”

“That stupid slag’s been fucking you behind my back-“

“No.” John is somewhat mindful of not giving a full on “screaming at recruits” bellow, but his voice booms into the corridor outside the apartment anyway. “You watch your fucking mouth. This” John gestures vaguely at his own presence in her flat, “just happened after she dumped you. You don’t get to hurl insults.”

“She hopped off of my cock and straight to yours- what the fuck else is it?”

“You couldn’t get her off,” John hisses in annoyance. “I’ve had front row seats to your shitty little performance more than once. Not 5 minutes after you leave and she’s having to handle it herself.”

“I can’t be expected to compete with a fucking vibrator!”

“Well I sure as shit didn’t need one to get the job done. Poor girl could barely get her legs to work to go to the loo and not give herself a UTI. Your skill issues are what started all of this.”

“You know what? Fucking have her. I don’t need this shit.”

Ah yes, because John needs the ex’s permission to date a newly single woman. Absolutely. That’s entirely how that works.

“Never needed your blessing. Now fuck off. I’m trying to sleep.”

The ex responds with a two finger salute as he spins on his heel and storms off.

John is almost tempted to grab him by the back of his neck and turn him into a chew toy. Given his military career, his patience for muppets giving him attitude is virtually nonexistent.

But the siren call of his pretty neighbor is a stronger pull than the muppet can ever hope to achieve. John’s succeeded in his mission to run the prick off, and he’s going to try to get a few more hours of sleep before seeing if she’s interested in another romp in the morning when she wakes up.

The bedroom is dark and poorly lit but John immediately picks up on the silence.

Rather than being sprawled out and snoring like when he left her, she’s quiet and curled into a ball.

She’s awake.

“Sweetheart?” He calls softly.

She jolts, fabric rustling from the sheets falling off her as she sits up.

“You’re still here,” the surprise in her tone cuts, although he knows she didn’t mean for it to.

She seems to realize how that comes across and clarifies further, “I- I heard the door shut.”

It falls into place for him then- she woke up to the sound of the door and John nowhere to be found. She thought he’d left.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he consoles, making his way back to the bed. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” he assures her while gathering her back into his arms.

Sleep comes back readily once the two of them are situated back in the bed.

Come morning, John’s got the patience and the presence of mind to throw a towel on the bed. He finds out for himself that his neighbor makes the prettiest noises with her arse propped up in the air and her face still buried in her pillow.

He can’t help but laugh later when she texts him that one of the neighbors made a noise complaint.

Age in bio/pinned or I will block you ♡

[angelyuji]

An idea has formed lol. What if you somehow managed to escape from Stan and Ford. If this question is too hard for you to answer what if Stan and Ford catch you while you try and escape. (Ford would be more likely to look for you, Stan.... not so sure lol)

i see what ur putting down🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

tw // physical abuse, implied noncon, kidnapping (lmk if i missed any tags!)

minors dni!!!! 18+

i feel like escaping stan is definitely easier than ford purely looking at logistics

stan allows you in the main areas of the house to clean and cook. once he believes he’s broken you into submission, he’ll even allow you to stay unlocked in the house to do your daily chores. for the first couple times he leaves alone, you’ll play along, gardening and doing yard work to see if you can fully like escape. stan doesn’t leave the shack for anything until the weekend and sometimes he’ll take you with, so like a month into this new “normal” he’ll leave for some “shopping” (telling you to cook dinner and finish up some chores) and that’s your chance. the moment you see that car leave your view, you pull on some pants and fucking book it. you run like hell until you reach the other side of the forest and hitchhike to fuck-knows-where. just away from gravity falls.

for ford, it’s wayyy harder cause he wouldnt let you out of his basement lab. like… ever. he practically lives down there and if he does need anything, he just tells stan and stan gets it. plus, ford has hugeeee trust issues. like the only time he ever removed your chains or whatever he’s using to keep you locked up, is when he’s running an experiment and he wants to use you as a guinea pig. i can think of one instance where he might bring you upstairs tho.

mabel and dipper find out abt you and ask to meet you (obvi they’re under the impression that you’re willingly staying with ford) and ford doesn’t want to disappoint his grand-niece and nephew. reluctantly, he gets you all dressed up and brings you up the stairs. he thinks he’s gotten you broken down but just in case, he gives you a bracelet that works similarly to those electric fence collars that dogs have. if you leave the shack property, he’s alerted and you’re tranquilized. you can’t take it off, but someone with pines dna can. halfway through this introduction, ford’s like “oh i gtg some research stuff i need to do is finished (idk im not a scientist)” and he leaves you with mabel and dipper!!! mabel fs sees ur bracelet and goes “omg!!! i need to male ur bracelet prettier!!!” and takes the bracelet off of you. dipper tries to stop her since its “your property” but you’re like “nooo!!!! like its totally fine!!” trying not to sound too eager loll the moment mabel takes the bracelet off, you calmly tell the kids that you’re going outside for some air and fucking SPRINT the moment your foot hits the grass outside the shack.

when it comes to getting you back, ford would def help stan and vice versa. the both of them have their strengths, so they’d definitely be able to help each other out.

stan is a grade A criminal. like he knows how to fake identities and hide from the fbi. at first, he waits a couple days, thinking you’ll be back. he obviously doesnt believe you’re capable of surviving without him, but once a week or so passes, he’s getting pissed. he has…. connections… that he can use to keep an eye out for you. say you do somehow manage to evade him for a while, that just pisses him off even more. stan (as lazy as he is) can get shit done if he puts his mind to it. so with the help of ford, he will find you. when stan does find you, he’s definitely relieved that you’re okay, but also he’s fucking pissed. he’s going to drag you out by your hair and shoves you into the back, ranting about your betrayal. he’ll bring you back home and will literally never let you out of your “cage” with supervision again. if he does let you out again, he’s going to be in the same room and ford def made him a nice collar for you, so you’re gonna be quite literally chained up like his dog. he’ll stop treating you like a person until you properly show him that you’ve understood what your place is.

smarty-pants ford will come up with something and stan would help with finding you becuz fords kind of a mess. when ford does find you, he’s like a desperate, manic mess. like he’s fr tweaking out, ranting abt how you broke his trust and how scared he was and how scared mabel and dipper was. you’re like cornered and freaked out cuz this guy looks crazy af. hes got you by the shoulders and shaking you, tearing up. he’s going to bring you back to the shack and put you back in the basement, but to make sure you won’t pull a stunt like this again, he’s going to snap your ankles. hes going to be telling you that its for your own good, but as punishment he won’t be giving you any medication. but yeah, now, ford’s never trusting you again so you’re gonna be stuck down in the basement forever :)

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 19/10

That's true - we don't know for sure that Trollian can fully emulate Sburb's surveillance capabilities.

If the trolls were sufficiently motivated, though, they wouldn't actually need to. Sollux could probably hack one of the kids' computers, to gain access to their Sburb viewport - although if he did, he wouldn't need a camera to snoop on their messages.

Is there a paranoia Aspect? I think I've finally found my calling.

anonymous asked: heya! ive just finished re-reading your ENtIRE liveblog and i to send asks about some stuff but i waited to finish so im sendind everything at once! (im gonna send stuff in a bunch of small asks so cat can stop just one instead of the whole thing in case of accidental spoilers) (aslo hi cat!) (also its ninnoy, havent sent an ask in a while but i changed my pfp to something slightly more spoilery so im in anon now) [...] the jade pen pal thing, do you have any new theories on who it could be?

None! I'm sure that it's someone derived from Grandpa Harley, but everything else is a mystery.

I have no particular theories about who he is, how he knows Jade, where he got his hands on so many endgame weapons, or why he's got such an antiquated accent if he's watching movies from the 80s. I assume time travel is involved, but that doesn't really narrow anything down in a comic like this. He (she? they?) is a complete enigma, and I'll just have to wait to learn more.

ALsO WHEREs YOUR sONAs? we havent seen them in so long im afraid sahlle might have actueally died of meteor strike (joking of course) also have you realized that "sally" and "cat" are both one letter of from a valid kid name? you could lend her one of your "L"s

I've actually been workshopping some Quest stuff for Sahlee this week! I suppose I'd need to figure out her Title first, though, and for that, I'd need to get a more solid idea of her personality, and how her experiences on Alternia have shaped her.

in one of your last posts you seemed to imply that the multiverse exists inside the timeline, but ive always read it as the opposite, the timeline inside the universe that would explain why the trolls can pick any time from the humans universe to talk to them but cant have private conversations with their own futute/past selves, its not an inherent part of trollian, they are just outside the human timeline (the memos are still trollian being time fucky) dont know if that makes any difference but its a thought also i realize the tag may be unecessary due to my quirk, but its too late to stop now

(NOTE: quirk omitted for readability, but the substitutions are [t -> 7, s -> 2] - sort of a variant of Sollux's quirk. I actually don't think we've seen any quirks which add a 7, so the voice here is distinct from any trolls we've seen so far. I like it!)

Originally, my assumption was that each timeline contained a duplicate of the entire multiverse. Doomed timelines don't seem to let you communicate with other universes/dimensions, though, so they don't need to contain other sectors of reality. I'm currently of the opinion that doomed timelines only contain an instance of the dimension they were doomed in. The only timeline which contains the entire multiverse is the Alpha.

This mechanic keeps doomed timelines simple, but in-universe, I don't know why it exists. Much like the Alpha itself, it's a mystery I can only speculate about.

has the shipping chart been updated since the last time we saw it? also you (at some point) said that equius<>feferi was a controversial ship so i had to go back to check the notes and i was the only person i found talkig about it so i guess im the whole controversy? if thats the case i would like to thank you for recognizing me as the equius<>feferi number 1 hater (all jokes of course)

I got a few skeptical asks about Equius<>Feferi, but you're the only one who discussed it on the post itself. I guess by some measures, you are the most dedicated hater, because your hate was posted publicly! 🤣

I could make one or two changes, but I don't want to post a new chart until the kids meet the trolls in person, hopefully at the end of the Act!

The Scratch, naturally - but I'm also looking forward to seeing exactly how WV was Exiled. He's currently on Skaia, and Jack has lost interest in him, so who's actually sending him through the portal?

Tavros is barely a presence on the Land he's ostensibly the hero of, and all of his actions are being dictated by a third party who can physically control his body. This third party does not acknowledge or respect Tavros's own desires, effectively forcing him to play the game in a way that she personally approves of.

She claims it will make him stronger.

@bladekindeyewear submitted: That was a long, thorough, and fantastic response! It's fascinating seeing your opinion on these things-- and I'm glad to see that considering the questions we've given you seems to have made you more paranoid. But I'm just not entirely sure you're paranoid ENOUGH. Not yet. Much like how you just found that "BREEZE" quote in your Breath research, back at around the time you've now reached in the comic, we had dozens of theory-miners combing back through everything that had been said and shown in Homestuck, over and over again, searching for anything we might have missed that might have been of some importance. [...] So, uh….. how do I put this… Would you prefer to strictly handle that sort of thing all by yourself, as you've said? Which I'd agree is still the best way that you should keep to, for the most part? Or would you mind if I gave you just a CRUMB of an example, only one? A tiny bit of text that we in the theory community only found at about the time you've reached in the comic, even though it was more than a thousand pages earlier?

Shit, this is such a dilemma. I'm honestly really torn.

See, I'd probably find old fandom theories absolutely fascinating to analyze. I'd love to know how closely my ideas align with those of the early Homestuck fandom, and whether I'm saying anything really out-of-pocket. My analysis of Sollux's ~ATH script was apparently an original theory, and it's honestly one my proudest moments.

But that's also sort of the problem, isn't it? If I dive too deeply into other people's fan theories, they'll start to affect my own - and if I'm introduced to a really compelling fan theory, it could end up replacing any homegrown theories that I could have developed in lieu of it. If someone had send me a well-reasoned ~ATH theory before I did my own analysis, I'd probably have been less motivated to make the analysis in the first place. After all, many of my questions would already have been answered by a clever theory I just read.

People are free to send me their own off-the-cuff opinions on what's happening in the comic, or their own takes on any meta I write. I get a lot of asks like that, and they're some of my favorites.

Obviously there's a fine line here, and whether a given ask is a theory or just an opinion is a little subjective - but in my opinion, the influence that asks and submissions have had on my analysis has been relatively minor. I don't think many of my theories have been spawned from an ask, or killed by one.

This is a little different, though, because it's part of a theory that was crowdsourced over several years. It doesn't sound like something that could be inferred by an individual, so I'm not sure if it's something an individual liveblogger should necessarily know about? If I start crowdsourcing my analysis, my theories will be less Wertsearch and more fandom consensus, and I don't think I'd enjoy that as much.

I really want to know, but I think I'll enjoy the liveblog more if I don't. When I finish the comic, I'll gleefully analyze any fan theory that anyone sends me - but for now, I'll just have to wonder, and come up with theories of my own!

Yeah, we've really been getting into it with Vriska lately. I've enjoyed trying to explain and predict her actions, and I'm glad people don't think I'm going overboard when trying to analyze her.

When a character does something interesting, I don't like to move on until I have a theory about why they did it. Sure, it may be refuted later, but it needs to be something that's consistent with what I currently know about their personality.

Vriska takes a particularly long time to puzzle out in this way. Her motivations are derived from a complex web (lol) of factors, including Scratch, Spidermom, her rivalry with Terezi, her horrendous relationship with Tavros, classism, teenage hormones, quadrant politics, highblood society and the Alternian culture of violence. They all inform her decisions, and any combination of them could have been the catalyst for the latest Vriska Incident.

I want characters to make sense to me, and Vriska is written to deliberately challenge my attempt to achieve this. Her meta is fun to write, so I'm glad it's also fun to read!

[greasydumbfuck]

Hiiiiiii I’m said “criminal” lol! My user is “frankcasserole”, formerly “Vu17ur3_Cu17ur3”. I think maybe my crime was untagging like you said but I honestly have no idea.

I’m a baby on tumblr, basically, so I was unaware of what “untagging” posts is. I’m tend not to re-add tags unless I specifically remember to or I have notes to add! I don’t mean to untag purposefully if this is what you mean to erase ships on posts or whatever reason there could be. It’s automatically ‘untagged’ when I reblog and I’m just too lazy to put it back up, I reblog often lol. I say this just to clear anything up ^^

You must have blocked me on your main since I can still see and interact with your side blog. I don’t know what your main is, as I don’t tend to look for different accounts of people unless they have similar posts or are close mutuals of mine. I also say this to clear stuff up, I just want to be thorough.

If you get another ask with this exact same message on a different account that is me trying to contact you just in case this does not go through because I am blocked! :)

CRIMINAL!!

yeah that was the issue damn. thank you for turning yourself in because it would have been on my mind for the rest of time

tumblr has this thing where you dont have to retag posts actually so dw about having to do that! if a post is tagged (i think at any point, but dont quote me on that) as something it transfers to all reblogs of it.

i block a lot of people often for non offences pretty much because i mean what normal person would think to tag a ship on a post where the ship is only briefly mentioned (or even just implied) in the tags. unfortunately, i am insane. most likely case is you mentioned a frank ship in passing somewhere in a post that ended up in his main tag.

ANYWAY thank you again for letting me know so thoroughly whats up. want to let you know it was not a you issue im just very unwell about one fictional man a year and all of the community must suffer the consequences (im the main character of life)

[nightmaree-eyess]

Second in command

Arcane fanfic

Summary: jinx took over silcos crime ring when he died and you are her second in command

Word count: 1238

Tags: au, lesbian jinx, y/n, femme reader,hurt/comfort, imagine, action/adventure, angst, romance, everyone is alive, implied drugs, hallucinations, implied emotional abuse

My days are pretty boring and monotonous for being second in command for the biggest crime ring in Zaun. I wake up, make my tea, go to work, take inventory, and go home. Obviously my days aren't exactly the same but they are similar enough. Today was one of those days.

“Jinx wants to see you.”

Ugh sevika. She thinks she runs this place since she's been with the ring the longest. She thinks she deserves to run this place.

I rolled my eyes at her in response

“Look just because your girlfriend is uppity about me doesn't mean you have too.”

“Just because my head is between her legs, doesn't mean it's up her ass too.”

Sevika grimaces and I groan and walk away from taking inventory. I don't feel like dealing with her bullshit today. Or ever really.

I push the door open with my shoulder to jinx’s office. The doors are heavy and made of rusted iron. The handles are vials of shimmer. The doors creak as I enter.

“Hello y/n”

Jinx turns around to face you in her chair behind the desk.

“Hi baby, what's up?”

“Don't call me that you know I hate pet names. But can you grab my shimmer for me? My eye is fucking killing me.”

Sometimes I feel more like a monkey than her girlfriend. Just another one of her employees but with more sexual benefits.

I grab the shimmer from the table and straddle her to get a better angle. A part of me only uses that as an excuse to get closer to her.I take her chin and angle her head upwards, take the syringe, and inject her eye. Her left eye looks like a nuclear sunset with a void in the middle. She winces in pain for a moment.

“Ah fuck. That never gets easier” jinx groans

You take her face and plant a soft kiss on her forehead and she raises her hand to yours. You step backwards to put the syringe away.

“This wasn't the only reason i called you in here”

I think she wants a sexual favor from me. That's usually how this goes but she keeps talking.

“ I have a job I want you to come along and it's a pretty serious one. I wanted my assistant to come with me. Id send one of the other employees but i feel like theyd fuck this job up. And we have the power they don't.”

Finally I'm starting to feel important. Jinx usually did the negotiating while i kept things running on the inside. But I never really felt like I had the power people claimed I had as jinx’s girlfriend and assistant.

“Sounds good. But what's the job?” i questioned

“We have to go to piltover and talk to jayce talis about importing more shimmer through their harbors. Business is booming right now and we need to make bigger shipments. And I need you there just in case things go wrong.”

“Like a bodyguard? Am I getting a demotion?” i joke

“Ha. ha. Funny. You think I'm some joke? You don't think I can handle myself? You think im gonna fuck up the job like i fuck everything up right?!”

“No, I-Im sorry” i raise my hands in defeat

“Good. Because it sounded like my girlfriend and assistant were doubting my abilities. Remember who's above you y/n. I'll let you know the details later. Now get the fuck out of my office.”

—---------------------------

“Hello ladies, glad to be in your presence.” Jayce bows sarcastically

“Yeah whatever, let's just get to business.” jinx groans

I follow them into an empty alley. I thought maybe we’d be in an office or something but maybe the guy doesn't want us knowing where he resides. Jayce starts the convo

“Ok you called a meeting with me and i only have 15 minutes. So get to the point.”

“We want to import more shimmer through the harbors. Business is booming a-”

“No.”

“No? What do you mean no? This would benefit both of us in the long run and youre fucking delusional not to think so.”

“I already have the council up my ass. I can't import more shimmer without it being suspicious. The answer is no.”

Jinx pulls out her gun and points it at jayce

“We import more shimmer through your harbors or you get a bullet in the skull. Its honestly your choice”

Next thing I know there's a flash of blue illuminating the sky, the boom of a gun, and a warm feeling running down my chest. I slip into the void at peace.

—---------------------------------

I flutter my eyes open and see a distorted jinx next to me

“You're nothing to me. You're just a dog that I bet on and you're losing.” she laughs maniacally

I try to sit up but I'm paralysed. What the fuck is going on? Before I can process anything I drift away again.

—----------------------------------

I squint my eyes open. I'm in a sketchy room, on a twin sized mattress on the floor.

“Oh god, baby I'm so glad you're alive!”

You feel jinx’s warm lips against your clammy forehead

“Wha- ow fuck” you clutch your chest

“I'm so sorry baby, I'm so so sorry. I shouldn't have brought you along I jinxed it like i do everything this is all my fault im sorry”

“What are you talking about?”

“I-i accidentally shot you when jayce let off a bomb. I got startled and I shot you. Jayce died when the bomb went off but I got lucky. You… died when I shot you. I brought you to singed because i knew he could revive you…like he did me and it worked. Now you have to inject yourself with shimmer where you were injured to stay alive. I shouldn't have ever threatened jayce in the first place. This is all my fault.” she sobbed

“This… is a lot to process.” i wince in pain

“I'm so sorry. I've been cold and distant with you and you don't deserve that. Even though I keep you at arms distance, I love you. I didn't realise how much I loved you until I lost you. If I lost you…then I would have no one left. I need you in my life. You make my days brighter, you support me in ways no one else does, and I never want to take you for granted ever again. I want to love you the way you deserve, if you'll let me?”

I try my best to sit up to kiss her but I can't. Jinx fills in the space and kisses me passionately and deeply. Like if she stopped kissing me she'd lose me again. I break the kiss.

“I know. I love you too”

She climbs into bed with me. We are so close that we could almost merge into one. She pushes my sweaty strands of hair out of my face and kisses me softly on my nose and we drift off to a blissful sleep. And even though this is the most pain i've ever been in i'm the happiest i've ever been.

[solifloris]

okay but. okay. this is so messy im not even going to put the actual luke and kieran tags on this bc i just need to write this down somewhere LMAO don't expect anything profound but just

(includes main story update spoilers)

i went back to read luke and kieran's anecdote again because i'm coping and this is the only way i can cope haha its midnight,

and like.

though it's very vaguely worded in the chapter that one of them transforms, the mention of "black crystals" alludes to the same transformation doesn't it ???????

kinda basically the same as how the twin's transformation was described... ish?

and we know that luke and kieran were experiments of ever... we don't know if they were created there exactly, but it's implied the farthest back they may remember is a childhood in that place—

but

though it may be the same transformation, xander sciences was only acquired by ever after raymond's death? iirc? i didn't actually double check this i could be wrong, but if that's the case then what they were experimenting for using luke and kieran, and philip and whoever his twin was... was not the same project— only the same result of protocore syndrome (gained through exposure(?)) that eventually developed into the same transformation. (albeit the fact that these ones are more advanced... i guess?)

which also coming from caleb's chapters, if i can remember correctly................. those who "passed the professor's test" or something to the effect, were those that didn't transform, or might have resisted transforming altogether (like one of the twins). (and to no one's surprise, said professor was affiliated with ever anyway...)

+++ in dawnbreaker's anecdotes, sure not everyone turns, but it's also kinda protrayed as something that kind of just happens???? like an inevitable thing thatll happen eventually???????

and then benedict has the ability to just,,,, transform as he wills.

so i think that based on what we know, it seems that there's either (a) resistance to protocore syndrome and/or (b) resistance to transforming... and/or (c) whatever the hell benedict is lmfao.

but also that people who have protocore syndrome seem to have either a higher possibility of transforming, or....... inevitably will transform.

and for that transformation to happen there may or may not have to be certain conditions for it that the experiments end up simulating somehow (i.e. the rebirth cocoon or whatever was done to those children or whatever else is going on in the n109 zone or whatever experiments were done to the twins)... and something something maybe the aether core stabilizes it, or something.... if i'm inferring correctly about kevi and mc........ (my memory is hazy and i don't feel like double checking 🤣)

BUT STILL THE FACT EXISTS that there is some kind of resistance against this???? whether that's the aether core or not??????? bc first of all mc apparently is able to delay it for others through resonance. and then we have philip who didn't transform (or started to and then resisted), and then either luke or kieran who did start to but then resisted—

but for the twins, it's never explored how its resisted, just that it happened.

(UNLESS............ the self-mutilation + sylus piercing luke/kieran was part of why???? or maybe it was just sylus??? IS IT SYLUS' EVOL??? like mc's evol can sort of hold it back a little... IS ITBEC OF THE AETHER CORE....? makes you wonder how the hell philip survived then...)

+ i wonder just how rare anomalies like that are since all the researchers expected luke and kieran both to transform within three months, but they lived two entire years afterwards... and like philip is still well and good (ironically though entirely not present in this story)? + more thoughts, maybe it's because they're in the n109 zone and with sylus no less, but it's a wonder they aren't being tracked down for that kind of,,, what seems like immunity lmfao

BUT LIKE somehow all these experiments by ever lead to the same outcome when they "aren't successful", and then now that they have xander sciences and x-heart, it's just become a blatant goal for there to be these transformations..... for like, weaponry, or something.

so then ever's ultimate goal is seemingly the immortality of humankind, and they're always seeking to replicate what mc has to achieve that..... but when the person isn't compatible or ""fails"" then they get protocore sundrome that nudges them into a transformation....

and if thats the case, then what exactly happens to those who don't transform ...........................

is it just delayed? will all people with protocore syndrome eventually turn and something has just halted the transformation for now? it has to be purposeful that people like philip and luke/kieran exists when they are neither particularly failed/transformed nor successful like benedict, right?

i don't know where i was going with this im just so curious and wishfully thinking that this means luke and kieran get to play a bigger role LMFAO

[asteralis-01]

Actually no im not done complaining about toxic shipping cultures

Ever since I joined the proship + rq community (which was at the same time) I CANNOT stand people getting mad at ships. I have a few ships I cannot be around (tw but Sal x Larry being the biggest, we are uncomfortable w the concept, had it used against us to cause trauma, and Travis hates it for obvious reasons that’s HIS man not his brothers man ew). However- is this reason for me to invade Sally face spaces and start screaming and yelling about how horrible Sallarry is; is it ok for me to garner a good chunk of the fandom to go and storm the palace of sallarry and kill all shippers in their steps?? NO! From what I’m aware, the devs were even implying it before they decided to go the route they did (which honestly I like because it shows a really dynamic and complex relationship with many different phases, and Trav KNEW they had something for each other before they became siblings). Like I don’t know how much time I spent avoiding fanfic and fandom spaces because I didn’t ship the conventional ships (which in hindsight were SO CHILL compared to the shit I ship now). I left friends for the things they shipped, had friends leave me for what I shipped, and for what??

When my abusive ex was using the ship and various other sources of media to gaslight me into doing the gross things I did with them, then THAT is not ok. That’s a time where someone is taking a ship to far, and it’s genuinely hurting people. But not a SINGLE SOUL (including myself) was ever hurt by ships that I didn’t like. It was just the one time I had a bitch who used it against me. It just goes to show how stupid toxic ship culture is. Anyone remember the absolute OUTLASH that tsumishima got on TikTok from like 2018-2019? Yea that entire time I never actually saw any tsumishima content, and the people I saw who shipped tsumishima never posted about it. When they did they were just trying to defend themselves from the doxing and death threats.

And the thing is- how can you assume what someone thinks about a ship. I would ship junko and mikan in a recovery au- I think they would actually make a good couple with all their shared trauma as long as they got therapy for the rest of their lives. But no one would let me get past ‘Junko and Mikan would be cute’ Because they would already sniping me down from across the screen.

Anyways this is such a sleep deprived ramble, I just hate toxic ship culture. You literally NEVER have to look at a ship you don’t like- and only in the aforementioned case above or similar cases should a ship be called out. Not because of the content, but the way the person is using the ship. The fictional characters literally do not matter and they will not be mad if you put them in a ‘bad’ relationship. And don’t come at me saying ‘oh but I’m an introject/fictive and I-‘ BLOCK THE TAG!! STOP LOOKING FOR IT!! I AM TRAVIS AND I NEVER SEE SALLARRY STUFF BECAUSE I HATE IT SO I DON’T LOOK AT IT AND I AM PERFECTLY FUCKING FINE EVEN THOUGH IT EXISTS AND PEOPLE ENJOY IT. Someone else’s ship does not make it true- the only thing that should make it true is your own opinion, thoughts, feeling and perspective. And guess what- that’s only your truth, not anyone else’s.

[thepowerisyouth]

MONEY / FINANCE STRESS CONTENT WARNING, this next line is unfortunately quite stressful about money so this was an important warning for me to add:

This is also less for the random strangers on the internet who have no reason to trust my advice but more for the 10-15 people I know personally who trust my money advice based on prior experience and Ive sent them my blog link in the last month or two

US stock market is about to tank. On a global perspective its stupidly overpriced because markets like China are hitting 5 year lows (as in we've increased our stock market over 2x since "COVID lows", but their market is even lower than it was then.

Timing is hard but it is entirely possible yesterday was the peak of the market. Might also not tank for 6 months.

Market psychology is fucking weird tho so please absolutely dont 'short' anything, which is basically the same as 'buying puts'. Michael Burry nearly bankrupted all his friends, family, and random investors by insisting on 'shorting' things based on knowledge of impending crisis.

Just sell everything. I mean literally everything. Bond etfs might go up but youd have to have eyes glued to the charts to sell in time. Gold wont do, neither will bitcoin. Their negative correlation to stocks isnt really a thing anymore.

Get every etf, stock, whatever into cash in the brokerage account, then move it out of the banks/brokerage firms and into something physically in front of you because we are, in fact, in another 'historical period of bank runs' its just not quite at the peak yet.

Not trying to increase anxiety beyond nessecary-- its just that any, single bank can immediately freeze your money-- leaving it up to the Federal Government to pay you back-- and it might possibly be the case that youd have to rely on whats called a "bank bail in" to see your savings again.

Not a fun situation to be in, even if it wont happen to most people its just safe practice to do this during a "historical period of bank runs"

----------------

This blog is basically my diary of my thoughts (suprise suprise). But Im an open book, privileged (but poor) little white boy with complex societal/generational abuse and very little home problems so lets fucking go theres a whole mormon cargo van to unpack

Definitely recommend tags Im terrible at them.

---

To those reading this, if you have ever met me in real-life or on the internet than you have taught me varying degrees of information which can be randomly retrieved by my brain at any time depending on current CPU performance. Thoughts of my loving husband have occupied my headspace probably 95% of my time since 14 so he has absolutely taught me at least 100x more than anyone else in the world.

When I say "I", oftentimes Im thinking about "me and my husband", or even sometimes "me and my friends/family", or even sometimes "me and society"--- but I am not always 100% aware of the current headspace environment and/or beliefs of the minds of those around me without feedback

---

There are currently over 8 billion individual varieties of the global human language spoken within the mind. Lets start translating them all. Misunderstood words become mean labels.

I fucking hate mean labels

"Math wiz" = racism and/or classism and/or gender shit. Fuck that shit

When a person is niched off into one part of an 8 billion population human society, it becomes impossible to not "live in a bubble". Bubbles change in size constantly even if not visibly observed. Bubbles can be different sizes depending on your current day-to-day thoughts of your own society. Bubbles must pop. Enlightenment implies life only gets better the more times ya pop and lock it

My path away from purely mathematics, logic, and scientific theory began when I met my husband, and for the first time in my life it became important to me not to be an asshole to everyone around me

Ive been told (only after I started dating my traumatized husband tho and helped him heal a lot) that I'm a natural communicator-- and all my life I found myself listening and learning to everything and everyone around me trying to understand both their and my own motivations-- then I like to garble them up and spit 'em out. My memory recall ability is wonky tho and fluctuates highly with nutrient intake-- I'll get into that later

I wish I could have a million years to read every blog on tumblr. I really do. Connecting & communating is extremely important for understanding one another but it takes time

I had an extremely unique childhood (who hasnt lol), enough so to isolate myself quite a lot through sheer dumb luck. My mom is also everyone's favorite school teacher so of course I was learning a lot from a young age. Luckily I glued myself to the first person who wanted to glue themselves to me equally & we grew exponentially closer to eternity

If its still not clear: my husband and I are bored and love chatting with people, but like most internet loving freaks my mouth don't work sometimes well but my fingies do. My ears got fluff a lot but I got eyes for LEDs like a hawk. Wish they werent LED tho

I also have a naturally short sleep cycle (i.e. extra time for this), and I really wont be offended or weirded out by someone reading through and liking 20+ or whatever of my posts at once randomly. Stories are supposed to be read in chunks, and I think of this blog as a story & also workspace for my thoughts that Id love to see which chapters everyone has read through. Also I love (and only respond positively to) positive feedback, yet also suggestions for ways to improve my "theorums". As in, good faith discussions are totally welcome on any post.

For my 50 year old parents reading my blog so lovingly in their limited evening time-- you can sort by tags to see what topics your familiar with, if you play around with the search function while on my page. Mom. Show dad how to do it

In the very, very bottom of my blog I dont even think I managed to tag shit properly-- but its the roughdraft workings of the philosophy, as well as my own logical framework for answering lifes questions. Its 2 months ago so I might not even be writing according to my own works down there anymore idk I change fast sometimes

Last thing for now here is that I was always criticized by teachers for not showing my work, and for not reviewing my tests before turning in, and I pushed back hard because nearly every time I went over and corrected a mistake-- I saw I most often got it right the first fucking time on a pure hunch. I act on impulse when I'm not meditating mostly for efficiency purposes because I believe I'm correct, but remain open to emotionally positive feedback so I can help remove all doubt.

-------

This might turn into my 'life story' post, as its already going there. Heres what I have so far in the way of my knowledge of my family before I was brought into existence, and my "earliest memories":

Family context:

I dont know jack shit. Nobody talks about it at all.

Here's my own observations Ive made using the framework and perceptive filters I was given--

My whole family is white Texans.

Ancestory is slaveowners of course, further back is a very likely direct parent-child descendent line from the most famous inbred british royalty of the 13th century i.e. King John, whose brother was the arab genociding Richard.

I would call my immediate family as upper poverty class. Its more like poverty with extra privileges cause mental health stigma was the only thing holding them back not other shit too.

As children we had a lot of very privileged opportunities because my parents made a lot of sacrifices to try and bring us back up the class ladder. Lets look into that generational trauma issue

My dads parents (born in the early 40s, dont know the year exactly. I think '43 or '44) were more upper middle class, pretty high income. Owned an insurance business that was very successful by the early 2000s at least. My grandpa is described to me as a "monster" and "violently abusive". I have a single memory of him screaming at me as a young child and I was cowering under a desk, so I really believe it. No other stories at all to provide context.

-- I gotta split this section off I realized I wrote the next thing about post-me context Ill need to move this part lower down later--

My grandpa got early onset dementia, my dad didnt notice in time, and my grandpa bankrupted his successful company and lost several million of dollars to "scammers and sexy ladies."

My dad found out around 2015-16 or so. He told me a little bit after telling me my grandparents were getting divorced. My dad managed to scrape together about $200,000 which is being sued for by the IRS actively.

(He split that money in two, and entrusted me tell him how to invest half in safe value stocks that I handpicked as well as a calculated risk allocation to bonds which we sold for 30% profit the second the market crashed. He gave the other half to a brokerage advisor. I never met the advisor but saw the results. Dont get me started on how the other dude did with that money-- we started this endeavor in January 2020.)

Personally I also dont believe that its possible to spend an entire fortune on scammers and strippers, so Id love to see his books and figure out what the hell went wrong with that asshole. I have a hunch I know something more than anyone else ("Enron", guys, we're talking about an insurance company in HOUSTON, in the 2000s) but I will never be sure without the books.

----

Back to other family--

I do not know a single thing about my grandma on my dads side. She raised me quite a lot, but yeah I literally have only heard her life described to me as "she was a housewife"

On my moms side, my Mimi (also born 1940s but slightly younger so I think 1946 or 1947) came from a divorced, upper middle class family. In 1964-65, She and her step mom both got knocked up the same year so she watched her divorced dad remarry to said step mom when she was 18-19 and getting a shotgun marriage herself, so you can imagine what that was like. The "biological" of the two moms was a very good mom and very queer from what I hear. She died when I was a baby, from lung cancer. Thats all I know. My mimi raised me quite a lot, nearly equally as much as my mom did

My mom's dad, my Papa, came from a rural farming family in East Texas. Dont know much else of anything, but he and his siblings were named "Billy, Bobby, and Betty". As in, they are what everyone likes to call "hicks"

--

Moving onto my direct parents now. I know a little more about them of course, but since we're getting closer in age to the present-- I think itll be easier to describe my understanding as common stereotypes. If its unclear what I mean definitely feel free to ask, but I'll probably say "I dont really know"

Not much else is relevant other than knowing that my moms family was the mormon one, but that as soon as my dad was love-bombed by the church he joined to. Mormons were also different in the 90s I'm told.

My dad struggled with being one of the "crazy schizos" of the 90s. As in, very traumatized, upset, and gaslit by the government and his parents. Must have done a damn good job dealing with it by the time he was in his late 20s and I popped out cause he was never a "bad dad" to me at all. Definitely yelled and was more angry at times, but less than any other friends parents Ive ever met, and from what I remember he came into my room at night and apologized to me literally every single time within like 5-10 minutes. I know pretty much nothing about him pre-me. He was a tradesman my whole life and specialized in remodeling kitchens & bathrooms (the 'dirty work of construction'). All his initial clientele were the rich people my grandma lived near and was friends with.

My mom would have been extremely queer-presenting and posting on tumblr if born in the year 2000, but was born in early 70s, and was a raegan teen in high-school in Texas during the satanic panic-- she presents completely cis, straight, but has body dysmorphia issues. Thats about you need to know about those issues I'm sure my tumblr folks can assume the rest and be perfectly correct. Cause thats about all I know too and I'm assuming the rest about my own mother

--- Earliest memories

I think a lot of people face doubt about their own earliest memories, maybe hearing the way I connect the images of these events in my head to my emotions I felt will help others do the same.

----

Two disclosers about me & my current healthcare discoveries before moving on

1) My only "major" childhood trauma is loneliness. I have a partner now (started dating early high school, nearing 10 years together now) who was just as lonely and we are glued to each others side constantly, and have made our life work great that way. So don't feel too bad reading this, I'm only able to write it down because Ive healed that trauma and can dig this stuff up with no issues to validate the emotions I felt even as a child

1) I believe I have a genetic trait that is only just getting discovered. There are something like 6 discovered mutations that hold this similar trait so far, and its just basically chronic insomia.

It being a genetic trait tracks with how my mom describes me as never settling into a normal sleep pattern at 6 months old, having absurd amounts of nightmares and death anxiety keeping me up at night as a child, and I still dont sleep at any given time. I average 2 hours less sleep than my husband, who averages 7-8 now that he isnt actively being abused at home.

Going to get sequenced but even if negative I'd probably just be a 7th mutation, as they only found the other 6 genes via case study.

The scientists whove discovered it call it "Familial Natural Short Sleeper", if you desire to look it up. They describe the trait like its the best possible thing in the world. Well... terminally chronic insomia is not the best thing in THIS world thats for sure.

---------

My "earliest memories"

These arent ranked by time accurately of course. Took enough effort digging through my brain to turn them up, not like Ive got a 2003 calendar stuffed in here as well.

I did do my best to sort by first memory but it also might be sorted by the order at which I recovered the memories as being one of my "earliest" when I was a child and asked such things

1. Pure emptiness. I can only describe it as dissociation. I can remember nothing about the environment around me, except feeling suddenly sucked out of it, seeing only darkness, feeling almost a ringing in my ears and the deepest dread possible. This same feeling followed me in life for a little while, but started to take more visual shape when I was an adolescent, until at some point I would see myself sitting in a chair alone in a room that is infinitely sized but that slowly gets darker the further out you go. I cant remember what exact "real-world" event caused this feeling to ever happen each time it did. I just can remember having it happen occasionally when I was awake and doing things. Definitely dissociation. (If you are willing to believe me further I think its just probably "lights out" and being scared of that)

1. Riding a mattress down the stairs. I kind of remember two images, one is the tunnel vision of going high speed down the stairs and the other would be from looking back up at the stairs when I was done going down. Totally fun, probably my first rollar coaster ride. I might remember my siblings laughing too but it wouldnt be because I can remember the actual laughing-- but I can remember feeling the joy of being in a group of people laughing. At the time, my parents were selling the house so thats why I also remember it being a completely empty carpeted room that we were riding down into

2. My brother smashing his head repeatedly into the refrigerator for 'fun' and someone saying "wow he has a hard head" or something along those lines. I was learning english I cant remember exactly what they said but that was definitely the meaning I took from their words. I think this memory is strong, because I was truly very curious as to why my brother was just running at full speed, head down, and headbutting a hard surface. The words someone said after that must have been one of my first 'answers'

3. Watching my siblings play in rare Houston snow. Not much remembering there actually. Probably just thought it was mezmorizing to watch as I just really remember a picture and feeling peace

4. Will add more later.

[in-the-abyss]

Introducing blorbo from my thoughts: Asher

okay so because I made them a character profile in artfight I think she deserves to have a tag on here too

[Image ID: A digital drawing of a humanoid bird hybrid. The drawing is titled: Asher, she/they/voi, with little aromantic and asexual flags under the description. Asher has black iridescent wings with purple, blue and green shimmers, and feathered ears. She has claws on voids hands and feet, and their limbs are a dark colour similar to her feathers. Voi has yellow irises and black scleras, and dark feathers on their cheeks, nose and forehead. They have sharp teeth and are smiling. Her hair is blonde and with little feathers that grow between the locks. They are wearing a red hoodie, black shirt and grey jeans with black belts on the sides. Voi is barefooted. End ID]

backstory under the cut (cw: slight body horror, dehumanisation, violence, medical abuse of a child, death and claustrophobia. nothing is explicit but im tagging just in case)

backstory: Asher is a crow shapeshifter that survived in the streets since she was orphaned when their parents died in a fire.

Voi was then kidnapped and grew up in a lab where scientists tried to force void to shapeshift into creatures other than crow. They were kind to them, but punished her when voi couldn't transform into what they wanted, putting void in a dark small room for long periods of time.

Because of that kindness, she wanted to please the scientists, so while she was in the dark room she would practice voids shapeshifting until finally she felt themself transform into something that wasn't a crow.

But that was a mistake, because after the painful transformation they looked at voidself and found that voi had shifted into a monster half crow, half human. Worse, she couldn't shift back into their human OR crow form, so voi was stuck as a hybrid.

When the scientists discovered what had happened to them, they were excited and congratulated her for voids efforts, implying that if they trained a little more voi would finally be able to transform into what they wanted. But Asher was scared of what the scientists would do to her if they found out that their shapeshifting was gone, and finally realised how fucked up was their situation. As the scientists guided void to her room, she suddenly stopped walking, growled at them, and attacked! They killed everyone who crossed voids path, finally escaping the lab.

She ran to the woods and lived there for a while, going half-feral as they leaned more into their crow instincts and surviving with what voi hunted.

One day someone found her and took void home, and while they were wary at first voi gradually relaxed as she learnt how to be human again. Although they were never able to recover her original form or shapeshift again, and had to deal with tons of childhood trauma, voi discovered she missed living in the wild. One night, without telling anyone, they escaped again. Voi explored for a little while and finally settled in her new territory, a forest far from the civilization. They built a little house and lived there happily ever after :)

[ccazimi]

Honestly, the lack of physical descriptions in reader insert fics is the one thing i haven't formed an opinion on yet. Most of the time i am not actually inserting myself as the oc at all, and registering the oc as another character, so i don't mind them having a different appearance to mine. Also, a lot of times when someone writes no physical descriptions, it's also quite likely that other things about the oc are not properly built either, which is totally fine, just not what i prefer, it hinders me from fully emerging into the story.

On the other hand, i also can struggle relating to the oc then. Whenever the description of a feature matches mine, it's always a nice bonus (like, not a description necessarily, but sukuna being obsessed with boobs in so many fics feels great for me bc i am literally all boobs and nothing else🥲), but if it directly contradicts my own features and style, i end up alienating myself from the "reader" even more than i usually do, but that honestly applies to personal traits and behaviors too, so fuck knows

as with a lot of other things i think there’s no black and white way to look at this tbh. YAP FEST UNDER THE CUT

i think to an extent all reader inserts will have the reader (let’s just call her y/n in this case for simplicity and also keep in mind I typically only read fem reader inserts) not exactly match the actual reader for whatever reason.

but my main point was regarding the decentralization of the female mc’s (y/n’s) appearance in regards to storytelling which is what i really typically like abt at least the concept of reader inserts. a lot of times this can sort of require the the author to develop y/n’s non-physical traits more and trust me i get it y/n’s characterization will not work for most people in the sense it’ll fit them perfectly. however in general i am just a big fan of female mc’s personalities as the central focus

also i think there’s a point where it is no longer a reader insert and just an OC. which is fine OC’s are great but if reader has specific descriptions (for me the physical part is a big one) then its like well 😭 just tag it as an OC at least. as someone who writes reader inserts ive been more hesitant about my newer works because there is much more characterization of reader (if you read my older series its literally just porn bc there is little to no real development of y/n since i wanted to keep her generic) and im like is this kind of crossing into OC line? but developing her character overall makes the fic a lot more interesting and i try to explain why y/n is acting the way she does so it’s easier to get into her head and pretend you’re her

this is another reason i try not to give any physical description of y/n in my fics. for example, im a person with tattoos but often reader will not be mentioned having tattoos. this keeps it open in the sense that it doesn’t mean reader can’t have tattoos, its more so it doesn’t matter at all whether she does or not. when I lack descriptions i don’t intend to imply that trait is not there, its just because it doesn’t matter at all to the story (going back to decentralization of physical appearances)

anyways i get what u mean abt sukuna being obsessed with ur boobs as a bonus bc u have a lot of boob but i wish to make it seem that he is obsessed with ur boobs no matter what size they are :3 (speaking as someone who has been both an A cup and a D cup throughout my lifetime)

i hope this doesn’t come across as rude or anything nonnie i just like to discuss things a lot but i do completely understand what u mean as well 🙂‍↕️

[malwaredykes]

i feel like the tags screencap show a misunderstanding of what im trying to say though. "it couldve been better conveyed" what exactly though?

its not that i think its bad that arcade lets go of shame, or that he contacts his old family and gives them a chance to do something good, and thinks of them as people first and foremost. those are not bad things. theyre good actually. but as @laniusbignaturals pointed out it feels more like a starting off point wrt his understanding of where he came from and how to feel about his past. ive said it before but i think that shame, as an immobilizing, pervasive feeling, is something that arcade struggles with a lot. its good for him to find a way not to grovel and fret over things he cant change, and move forward instead.

but here im being given a Bad Choice vs Good Choice dichotomy, and the fact that arcade suffers if he makes the Bad Choice doesnt absolve him of what it would say about him if we were to take it at face value. other companions can Get Worse too, of course, and we look at the implications of that as part of who they are. in this case, understandably so, no one really wants to just accept and contend with the fact that apparently it took just a little bit of encouragement from a friend for arcade to proudly don his fathers fascist regalia and charge into battle. i mean, i think if we were to take it as it is, it IS interesting. but also weirdly glossed over.

i dont think arcade should grovel more, or be Punished, or Suffer, or that there should be a big glowing "ENCLAVE BAD" on your hud as you do the quest lol. i think the quest has highs and lows, offers a few intimate glimpses into arcade's inner life, takes a very uncomfortable "embracing your heritage" tone at times (for better and for worse), has rly good wider and in-game implications, and then falls so very flat with its ending. the gannon family tesla power armor is essentially mark gannon's corpse. ahouldnt it feel more... something?... that arcade puts it on and moves in it? shouldnt there be different ways for him to feel about it?

if anything, "if you do the bad thing a bad thing will happen to you, if you do the good thing it will be okay" is in itself a cop-out. when has doing the right thing and putting in the work ever been easy or straightforwardly beneficial to the person doing it? fascism is a losing ideology, but since when is embracing it not the easy way out for those deemed desirable by it? do bad things only happen to bad people and vice versa?

i dont know. im not suggesting rewrites. it all just bugs me in a way that i struggle to express but feel the need to nonetheless. theres only so much that a fallout new vegas quest can do and say, yes. but im just voicing my lack of satisfaction. something's missing. too much is just implied or handwaved.

i feel like people dont criticize arcades personal quest as much as they should. like its fine in terms of helping the courier and contributing to the main plot, but in terms of being arcade's personal quest well i dont find it particularly satisfying. especially when so much of it feels like some sort of Embracing Your Heritage wrt the enclave thing akafncksjfks..... and him proudly wearing his fascist dad's fascist uniform at the end? i rly never choose that it just feels in such bad taste. give me that armor arcade let me unburden you of it. dont show up to the function dressed up like a fash Please like i dont think thats essential to your internal struggle. i like at least that hes like Politely Uncomfortable when you hit him with that "your dead fascist father you barely knew and whom i know next to nothing about would be so proud of you cay-cay"

[flyhighaangle]

ermmm

[jiyansthesis]

LEON KENNEDY (post-re4) x reader

summary — you and leon never thought what would lead to the two of you fucking would be a surprise zombie and an aphrodisiac

note — a little something i had in the drafts for a while. i was gonna post it when re4make came out but i totally forgot. might as well post it while im getting traction on my other leon post ^^

tags — smut, aphrodisiac, basically in public, rough, overstimulation, fem bodied reader, fem implied pet names

i am not responsible for any minors that interact + nsfw below the cut

not proofread

"we're gonna get our asses kicked," you groaned, focusing on the scope of your gun which you used to survey your surroundings.

"no, you're gonna get your ass kicked. i can hold my own," leon shot back, trailing ahead of you.

there was a red wash over the two of you as you ran down the hallway, attempting to look for some vials before they get destroyed by the zombies lurking around.

"you don't happen to know where these serums are, do you?" you questioned, a zombie coming out the shadows only for you to quickly aim and fire your gun at its head, it immediately flying backwards to land lifelessly on the floor. "this is like some bad game of whack-a-mole. except without the hammer. and the moles are zombies. and we could possibly die. i'm getting tired of it."

"do you ever stop talking?" he opened a door, revealing a room with cabinets of liquids and something that looked like a chamber with a glass window.

"adding a bit of fun into this mission, leon. i can't just walk around shooting zombies and not have something to say."

he grunted, and went over to the cabinets, grabbing a container of blue liquid.

"this is it. i'll get all of these, you keep watch." you nodded in acknowledgement, considering the fact that leon was your superior.

you peered out the hallway you had come from, saw that it was clear, and shut the door, locking it.

then you decided to go into the connecting room, just in case something was in there.

the red emergency light was still messing with your eyes, and so you turned on your flashlight, scanning the room.

there were more bottles of substances. but it didn't look like the blue ones leon was getting. these ones were a reddish-pink, and had a certain glow to them. you stepped closer to it to examine it, but you swung around as soon as you heard a growl. you unsheathed the dagger around your waist.

the blade lodged in the zombie's throat, your reaction time saving you as usual. it crumpled over, but bumped into the display, causing the cases to break.

you thought it was a liquid, but it was like you could see the cloud of fumes rise from the broken vials. quickly you put a hand over your mouth and nose and ran out the room, but not before you caught a whiff of the strangely sweet, almost sugary flower smell.

you shut the heavy doors behind you, and let out a gasp of air. leon looked towards you, hurrying over as you fell to your knees.

"hey, you alright? what happened?" he held onto your arms, lifting you up and placing you in an office chair.

"th-there was a zombie. i killed it and it. . . it bumped into these flasks of pink stuff." your hands went to wrap around your stomach, a cramp suddenly appearing.

"pink stuff?" he asked

"yeah," you grimaced with pain. "there was this thing that came out of the broken tubes. it was like a gas or something."

"and how are you feeling right now?"

you felt immensely uncomfortable. there was a cramp in your lower abdomen and it felt like something was dripping out of you. your legs squirmed, not liking the feeling of your wet panties.

"i can-can't explain it." you stammered out. you think you know what were in those things, but you didn't want to make it awkward for you and leon. of course, you've known him since raccoon city, and congratulated him when he came back with the president's daughter. but you knew damn well you guys weren't this close.

even if you desperately wished you were.

"it hurts there?" he gestured to your hand over your abdomen, you nodded.

"it might've been something toxic." he glanced around the room at all the computers, lucky enough to find one that was unlocked.

you heard him type away as you shut your eyes. the pain was becoming excruciating, and you didn't know why you felt your crotch throbbing.

not only that, but your thoughts were bunching up, and you couldn't think straight. what were you here for again?

"hey, i think i know what it is." you felt him nudge you. "but you might not like it."

"i think i know what it is too. doesn't take much thinking to find out." you winced as you shifted in your seat.

he raised an eyebrow. "you know?"

"it's obviously an aphrodisiac. there's no other explanation." you slurred out.

"well, it's not a normal one. normal ones wear off with time, but this one. . . you need something for it to wear off. or you might die."

"die!?" you exclaimed, ignoring the pain of you suddenly standing upright. this definitely cleared your mind. "for fucks sake, leon. i didn't want to die from a fucking drug today!"

he let out a breath of air. "it's easily fixable. but i need you to trust me." his voice got a bit more husky.

"i always trust you, leon." you assured him. he hesitated, and slowly lowered you back down on the seat.

his fingers ghosted over the waistband of your tactical pants. "may i?" he looked up to you. never in a million years would you have thought you'd have leon kennedy under you.

you could already tell what had to be done for you to get rid of this feeling, and you gave him the okay. well, at least you get to have one of your fantasies out the way while also avoiding death from aphrodisiac.

he pulled down your pants, quickly followed by your underwear.

"didn't think to tell me about what was happening down here?" he smirked. "you're so wet."

you whined at the cold air, and urged him to hurry up and stop teasing you.

he followed your request, and instead of inching in his fingers like you'd expected, he immediately latched onto your dripping cunt, and you arched your back.

"leon, fuck!" you moaned out, a hand immediately going to grab a handful of his hair.

he hummed in amusement, leading you to clench your thighs around his head. leon quickly moved his hands to grab your plush thighs and spread them apart, locking them in place no matter how hard you tried to escape it.

it was like he wasn't even thinking about the aphrodisiac. it was all for his and your pleasure, rather than as an extremely awkward and embarrassing task that had to be done. or he was just too good at the job at hand.

every stroke of his tongue had your legs shaking, and you pulled at his hair every time he sucked on your clit too hard. it felt like a few minutes before you felt the buildup of something in your stomach, quickly overshadowing the pain you had previously felt.

"leon, m' gonna-"

his hands left your legs and went straight to your pussy. "make a mess for me, baby," he said as your hips bucked up violently and you let out what was almost a scream.

you panted, and you thought that at this point you'd be satisfied, the pain would be gone, and the two of you could put this all behind you and go on your merry way.

but you were wrong. it was like it got even worse.

your thoughts were scrambled, and all you could think about was the bulge in his pants. and it definitely wasn't his gun.

"why'd you have to do. . . all that?" you stammered out. you also realized he called you baby. your cheeks became even hotter.

"can't get my gloves dirty. and i wanted a taste." he winked. "are you feeling better?"

you shook your head, involuntarily grinding against the seat. maybe if you imagined it was his thigh. . . you wouldn't have to ask him to fuck you senseless. you were already shameless enough, with the fact he had just finished eating you out like his final supper, and the effects of the aphrodisiac were not helping.

just the sound of his voice and his smell was enough to send you into a frenzy.

"do you need some more help?" he began unbuckling his pants.

"yes, need mo' help," you whined. you never thought what would get you into leon s. kennedy's pants would have to be a mystery sex drug in a science lab. if you knew, maybe you would've done this way beforehand.

you almost drooled at how big he was. you would've put your lips right around him at that moment, but he was already lining himself up with you entrance.

"you ready, princess?"

"jus' hurry up," you moved your hips closer to him, sliding the tip inside which caused you to whimper. deciding not to let you suffer any longer, he slammed the rest of his throbbing cock inside of you. with every thrust he did, you were a whining, blabbering mess.

"does that feel good?" he whispered in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. you could tell that the effects of the drug were making you more sensitive.

"s' good leon," you threw your arms around his neck and brought him down for a kiss, which he quickly reciprocated. he was biting on your lips, his tongue occasionally slipping through your lips.

"i fucking love the sounds you make," he got out once the two of you broke away for air. it was like he was feral and had the aphrodisiac himself, pounding into you without giving you time to breathe.

"fuck, leon, don't stop," you could feel tears streaming down your face as your mouth gaped wide open to let out all your noises.

no doubt you were attracting monsters, but that didn't matter when you had this hot man you've been pinning for for years making you dumb on his cock.

he admired the way he had you already clawing for whatever you could grab a hold on, which was his back, and the look that you gave him.

he'd wanted to fuck you for so long, although that developed from him falling in love after the events in raccoon city. you'd kept him sane, believe it or not.

thank god he had this reason to finally have you under him.

"you gonna cum for me, yeah?" he began relentlessly hitting your g-spot, which had you screaming. he left open-mouthed kisses down your neck.

you didn't answer. or well, you couldn't with how he practically fucked the breath out of you.

not receiving an answer, he quickly took you out the chair and placed you on top of the table. you whined as he pulled out, but were quickly shut up by him thrusting inside of you again.

and just when you thought it couldn't get any better, the new angle caused him to almost brush up against your cervix. his hand made its way to your tummy and pressed down on the slight bump, making your hands fly up to cover your mouth.

"hey, pretty girl. i want to hear everything." he persuaded you to place your hands to stabilize yourself on the office desk.

"i-mm, i think i'm gonna make a mess," you warned.

"you gonna come for me? good girl," he praised, and with those words he hungrily pressed his lips to yours, devouring your sounds of ecstasy as you convulsed with your climax.

you started feeling overstimulated, the pain and sensitivity mixing in with the pleasure.

"le-leon, jus' cum in me," you pleaded, feeling your third climax coming already. maybe it was because you were practically intoxicated, or it was because you haven't had sex in so long, but you were almost self-conscious about how short of a time it took for you to cum.

"yeah? you want me to fill you up baby? do i make you feel too good?" a pool of your cum was pooling on the desk.

"yes! wan' you to, wan' you to," you trailed off as he grunted and let out a few soft, low moans, and you felt a warmth seep inside of you.

slowly he pulled out, which still had you twitch, and he looked almost apologetic about that. he searched the place for something to clean you up with, before ripping a piece off an abandoned lab coat, and slowly wiping you up with it. the table on the other hand, required the whole coat to wipe up.

he helped you put your pants back on as you regained and put your thoughts back in order.

"holy shit, we're at least twenty minutes late from meeting up at the extraction point," you checked the watch on your wrist. the two of you scurry to grab all your things as well as what you came here for, and went on your out the building. leon then called chris, who was pissed about the time delay.

as you left, it was strangely silent, as if the two of you had scared the monsters away rather than attract them.

"never thought that'd ever happen," you admitted as the two of you made it outside and to the rendezvous.

"never thought i'd fuck you during a mission in the middle of nowhere." he agreed. "how about dinner later, pretty girl?"

"isn't it a bit late for that?"

"it's never too late to take a lady like you on a fancy date. you deserve it." he shouted as the wind from a helicopter overtook your hearing.

"hmm, i'll think about it!" you grinned, saluting. "nice work out there."

"if that was my real job, i'd be doing it all the time."