#im just posting stuff at this point but it is a true question

[starboyvoid]

odd thing but am i in love w the concept of fire, becoming attached to the concept of it, or what bec im lowkey debating that, what is happening in my fuck of a brain rn

[spoiledmilks]

Okay okay lets talk about some other characters now

First i want to explain something about how the animatronics are powered

They are powered by remnant from cassidy

All the animatronics except for r. foxy are made from cassidy’s trauma which is why theyre pushed to kill william

This brings me to springbonnie

Ive gotten a question about springtrap and i decided to not put springtrap into the au but instead make it springbonnie

Since william killed cassidy in that suit, the trauma she has connected with springbonnie is strong, which makes springbonnie a bit different from the rest

Throughout their entire encounter with william, they keep subtly reminding him of what had happened, of what he did

This makes foxy slowly question william abt stuff which he obviously shrugs off as if it didnt mean anything

Definitely one of the more meaningful and intresting encounters

Now lets get onto a character ive been hiding for a while

The nightmarionne entity (bcuz im too lazy to type its name imma call it death)

The one that gives william his actual judgement

Death finds special intresest in tormenting william because he played with remnant and decided to try to created immortality

I like to imagine it being the final boss of the whole au

Also it is at this point where foxy would find out about william’s true identity

The reason why nightmarionne is death in the au is bcuz of that one theory that i rly like

(Briefly just explaining stuff rn i want to explore all of this in detail in seperate posts!)

Thx for reading this shitty short explanation!

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Hi! A bit of a weird ask here, hope you don't mind. (I swear it's not meant in bad faith)

So, I'm new to the fandom. I'd wanted to watch the show for a while and I finally found time. I did like it, and all the characters, esp Hen and Buck.

Even previous to watching it, I had seen many posts about Buddie. I didn't think much of it until I watched the show. And now I can say... I don't see it. Like, from Buck's side? Sure. But from Eddie's? Not so much.

They both clearly act like Christopher's co-parents a lot, and that's where I'm like "oh, maybe there IS something". But outside of that, I actually see their interactions as mostly platonic. And when I see people talk about it, I see mostly about how Eddie completely trusts Buck with his son (which I agree with and makes a good point), but not much else.

So, what am I missing? Sometimes some characters are harder for me to "read", so I know there could be stuff that I'm missing. What interactions do you see from them that are so clearly romantic (at least more so than they are platonic)? In which ways do you see Eddie showing feelings for Buck?

Sorry about such a long ask. This might be more of a rant (oops). I just really want to understand, bc everyone's so sure... and I'm not. (Also, thanks for reading if you got this far)

So i’m obviously not going to tell you thst your interpretation is wrong- art is subjective and your interpretation of things is completely valid.

that being said, to me i see myself in eddie in a lot of ways:

- only son in the family, so i had unrealistic expectations fixed on me about what my life as a “man” should look like (im not a man, im nonbinary but i was still amab so to my parents i’ve always been a ‘man’)

- raised in a very religious household where there were certain expectations on who i would one day marry and have a family with (because not getting married at all and never having kids was out of the question)

- i was repressed for years emotionally (and sexually) due to pressure from my parents/church and thought there was something “wrong” with me for the feelings i felt

- i often revert to anger as my default defense mechanism because i have repressed my emotions for so long (which is something i am working through in therapy)

so seeing those things i relate to reflected in eddie, it is easy for me to pick up on subtext (whether intentional or not) when it comes to his sexuality/feelings for Buck.

you mentioned eddie trusting buck with christopher— to me this is one of the clearest examples of eddie’s true feelings for buck because he completely trusts the most precious thing in his life with Buck, but he has never even come close to that same kind of trust with any of his romantic partners… even shannon he was apprehensive about letting her back into chris’s life. this means he trusts buck on a level he has never trusted anyone else before— and not to get into psychology, but often when people are repressed emotionally, they find ways to feed those feelings without overtly feeding them if that makes sense. so eddie giving chris (who is practically his whole heart) to buck is essentially eddie offering up his heart on a platter.

so that gets that one out of the way.

as for other examples… i am going to state again that eddie is more repressed than buck and doesn’t show emotion as easily as buck does so Buck’s attraction/feelings are going to be more clear-cut and obvious.

but i am constantly seeing examples of eddie’s feelings for buck interwoven subtly through things:

- crying over buck after the lightning strike when we had only ever seen him cry twice before

- the hurt in his face when buck said natalia was the only person who “saw” him

- the way that he gets overly jealous and acts petty around buck’s romantic partners (the most egregious being Taylor, but we have seen it happen in his other relationships as well)

- the fact that he has never been able to fully allow himself to have feelings for the women he’s dated

- he is looking for a mother figure (second parental unit for chris) but has already effectively filled that role with buck

- he is constantly looking at buck like he hung the stars and the sun and the moon

- he has only started going off the deep end of this fixation with shannon after buck came out to him, and he is onyl actively remembering their relationship as what he wished it had been rather than what it was— something i used to do back when i was still in denial about my sexuality was imagining this dream life where i was happily married to a woman because that is what i was supposed to want, not because it’s what i actually wanted

- eddie is the only one who has shown he understands buck’s recklessness is less him being reckless/thinking he’s unbreakable, but that it’s actually buck seeing himself as invaluable enough that getting hurt wouldn’t affect anyone around him

- one of my favorite scenes is post lightning-strike when eddie climbed the ladder and instead of trying to lower buck to the ground immediately, he initially tries to pull buck closer to him while screaming for him

the list could go on and on and if anyone else wants to leave their observations on eddie’s feelings for buck in the replies by all means please do! but these are just a few ways in which i have personally seen eddie’s devotion to buck portrayed in a light that is much deeper than a platonic level.

i hope this made sense and offers a new perspective for you, and i’m glad that even though you haven’t seen enough evidence in your own interpretation, your first instinct isn’t to jump down people’s throats to tell them they are wrong, but instead reaching out and asking for other opinions to better contextualize why us buddie shippers are so invested in these two!

(and never apologize for a long ask to me… if there’s one thing about me i love to yap lmao)

i hope you have a lovely day, anon!! 💕💕

[hxjikonn]

HI HIIII CONGRATS ON YOUR 143 FOLLOWERS OR MILESTONE??? IDK WHICH ONE I SHOULD USE FOR THIS IM SORRY 😭

May i request a long fic comfort with Azul ashengrotto, with Reader who has been hiding their true feelings from everyone and even observant person can’t tell if they’re hiding it or not and tend to avoid certain question, because they’re used to be not hear out/has experience their problems spread around school(perhaps), pls?

IM SORRY IF THIS TOO MUCH BUT REALLY NO PRESSURE FOR YOU DOING THIS—I JUST WANT TO MAKE MYSELF CRY HARDER AND I LOVE YOUR WORKS SO MUCH🥹💕

A/N: OMG ILYT DUDE UR ALWAYS SO INTERACTIVE WHENEVER I POST MY WORK I HOPE YOU CAN STILL CRY TO THIS EVEN THOUGH IT TOOK SO LONG🥹♥︎

Put on a show!

☆Staring☆: Azul Ashengrotto x GN!Reader

Synopsis: When you chose to hide your emotions from everyone, Azul wondered why it had to include him…why can’t you let anyone in your head? How long do you think you can hold it together before you fall apart.

“Why do you shut me out? Why do you shut the world out? What are you so afraid of?” - Anna (Frozen)

Artist: @/uri_hir on twtr

To most people, you were an open book, you always spoke your mind, you always showed them how you felt, and let them know if you were okay…at least that’s how you play your little illusion. Little did they know that you had chapters hidden from within the pages they read, things that you swore you’d never let anyone know, in fear of allowing them to see your weaknesses that they can use against you.

It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t always this way, ever since then you bottled up everything, that particular day when…“Y/N!!!” Ace called out, snapping you out of your thoughts, “hm?” You hummed, once again silently putting on the mask you were used to showing everyone. “Wanna go to Monstro Lounge with me and Deuce? We thought it’d be nice to chill after that hellish spell drive training” He offered.

The training was hellish, and you were tired…no screw that, you were drained, you didn’t just keep up with them, you were also keeping up the facade you played, this other ‘you’ who everyone knows and loves. But of course, this version of ‘you’ is also a people pleaser, so reluctantly you said agreed to go. “Sure! I’ll come with” enthusiastically you stood up and grabbed your stuff.

Deuce smiled seeing you still so active “I wish I had Y/n’s personality…” No you don’t. Ace agreed and stood up to grab his stuff aswell “I know right, always so energetically postive” No I’m not. You just laughed at the two, halfheartedly but you didn’t let it show since you didn’t want them to think otherwise.

You carried Grim because the cat was asleep, and you three strolled on to Monstro Lounge together. The odds were somewhat on your favor, because it wasn’t that packed in the Lounge when you arrived, conveniently too, the last thing you want right now is a larger crowed to appease and entertain with your little act. You took a seat at a table as Ace and Deuce chattered along behind you, arguing about who knows what again.

You place Grim down and allowed yourself to ‘let lose’ a little since the other two were still at the bar side getting drinks, you let yourself have a break from smiley, happy, and bright, letting your exhaustion be visible, you sighed somehow calm because you were tucked away in a corner where no one really saw you.

“You look quite worn out prefect, are you not feeling well?” Suddenly a voice from behind you emerged, you looked up to see Jade, leaning from behind you seat, “Oh hi Jade! It’s nothing, the spell drive training was just extra rough today…” you reasoned with him, desperately trying to play your character again. Knowing how Jade is the more observant twin, you were nervous that he saw right through you.

He nodded, “Of course, can I get you anything?” He asked, you shook your head and pointed at Ace and Deuce coming to your table with drinks, “Ah I see, then I’ll let you relax now and enjoy your drinks, let me know if you need anything else” he smiled, striding away to other tables, you let out a silent breath of relief.

You thank the two for getting you your drink and sipped on it, still on edge about the happenings from earlier, you let your mask slip away one time and almost got caught, never again. You thought, breaking away from talking with the voices in your head, you joined in on the other two’s conversation, hoping to forget what just happened.

You three rambled on and on, hoping from one topic to another, you were hoping to finish soon since right now you just wanted to go home and really relax, you can feel the bottle you store your emotions in is already nearing it’s overflow, you needed to let it out, but not here, not now. Just. A. Little. Longer.

As you three stood up leave, Floyd suddenly grabbed both your shoulders, which surprised you, “Shimpyyy~~~ Hello~~~~” he greeted, you smiled, “Hi Floyd! We were just leaving” you said, hoping that you didn’t sound like you were rushing it. “No you’re not, Azul called for ya! You two go on ahead~ We’ll borrow Shimpy for awhile” he shooed off Ace and Deuce and they awkwardly waved you goodbye having no choice.

Great, you quietly took a deep breath, desperately trying to glue the pieces of your mask together as it was wearing off, “Lead the way!” You smiled at Floyd who gladly lead you Azul’s office. Every step you took, you felt it, the weigh on your chest getting heavier, the ringing in your ears getting louder, your eyes starting to sting with hot tears threatening to come out, but it cant, you cant, not here, not now. Just. A. Little. Longer.

Floyd opened the door for you “Shimpy me n’ Jade will take care of baby seal” he took Grim from your arms gently, and you mouthed a silent thank you as you stepped in the room. Azul had always been warry of you, you were always smiling, not the sly kind like Rook’s, or the carefree kind like Kalim’s. It always seemed hollow like we weren’t really there.

He was eager to find out, you had always been a peculiar human from the moment you came here, but what irked him more was why and how you didn’t seem to be bothered by anything, despite countless overblot encounters, the belittling you hear from the students here, you having no way back home…Nothing fazed you, even if you did show other emotions, it always seemed like you dialed it down.

Ever since his overblot, how you’ve helped him overcome it, and how you didn’t treat him any differently despite knowing what he had looked like as a child, He felt safe with you, and wanted you to feel the same way about him. He was curious, but why does it feel like you’ve told him everything about you, yet at same time nothing at all.

When he’d heard from Jade that you were here, he was exhilarated, he wanted to see you since he saw you and the other first years training earlier, and he noticed how tired you looked. So he took it upon himself to make his office nice and cozy, with snacks and drinks, even going as far as replacing the pillows with fluffier ones.

He hoped that maybe this time you’d allow him to break the chains you’ve wrapped around yourself. Maybe this time you’d…”Hi azul” he perked up to look at you, hearing your voice, “Oh Hi! I apologize I didn’t hear you come in…” he explained, he was distracted, but he couldn’t let you know why.

You laughed a little, sitting down on the chair infront of his desk, the relationship you had with him was complicated on your part, you knew everything about him, and grew close to him over time. You even started to think about opening up to him one time, but you stopped yourself, remembering what happened the last time you thought you could trust someone.

You didn’t avoid Azul since then, but made you did make sure to keep your distance, you felt that he was close to figuring you out. And out of all days it had to be now, now that you were close to falling apart, and out of all people it was Azul. You felt weak to your knees but still tried to hold it in. You needed to.

“So what was it that you called me here for?” You asked, you weren’t trying to seem like you wanted to make it quick, worried it’d make him suspicious. “Oh uhm…nothing in particular, Jade mentioned you didn’t look well…” he said, concern lingering in his voice. Oh no. “I’m fine, Just tired from training that’s all” you were desperately not trying to sound in denial but it was slipping out. Just. A. Little.Longer.

“Right…you had spell drive training earlier” he mumbled, you wouldn’t look his way, looking everywhere else but at him. “Is that the only reason?” He couldn’t help it, he wanted to be let in, “yeah…” you simply said, nodding, still flashing him that bright smile, only this time, your act was nearing it’s end, your mask is breaking.

“Y/n…” he called out, oh no. “I’ve noticed…” oh no. “Please, I want you to trust me.” He looked at you, empathy and worry in his eyes. You felt guilty for not trusting him enough to tell him, but it wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t let yourself get hurt again. “I’m alright, really. Just really really worn out.” You defended, you avoided saying whether you trusted him or not.

“From practice or From something else?” He pried, you felt your hands shake, you clasped them together tightly, and wish he wouldn’t see. You couldn’t say anything, you couldn’t speak, it was as if there was someone over your shoulder reminding you that if you were to trust anyone again, you’d be broken beyond repair. “just tired..” you croaked out, praying to whatever deity is there that he’d let it go.

Azul had enough, he wasn’t stupid, he knew you’re holding yourself back. Sighing, he stood up and went towards you. You’re done for. That voice inside your head taunted you, as his figure loomed over your shaking one, suddenly the room felt like it was collapsing, like eyes were everywhere just waiting for you to break, you could hear them again, the whispers and mumbles from your past, your little illusion of a happier ‘you’ was shattering.

Show’s over.

Azul, was too busy trying to figure out what to do, how he could make you tell him what’s wrong. He didn’t notice you were crumbling beneath him, your heavy breaths stopped his train of thought, his attention’s now all on you. He panicked, he never meant to push you this far, he only wanted for you to feel safe around him. He crouched down, meeting your eyes.

For the first time, he saw raw emotions, but not the ones he wanted to see from you. You’re eyes wide with fear as hot tears drip and trickle down from them, you were covering your ears, you’re breathing heavily…you were scared. He felt his hand grow cold, the last thing he wanted to make you feel was scared.

He reached out, holding your face on his hands gently, as if you were made out of porcelain. “Y/n…hey….look at me…” he called out, voice barely above a whisper but loud enough for you to hear. You looked up at him, crying, trauma evident within your gaze. You thought he’d be looking at you with disgusting or betrayal in his eyes, but all there were was concern, worry, care.

“I’m sorry, I never wanted to scare you like this…” he apologized, “I only wanted for you tell me what’s wrong, There’s something wrong and I want to help you like you helped me…but I can’t if you don’t let me know…please…” he pleaded, his intentions were good, he wanted you to know that. “I’m tired…” you said. He opened his mouth to say something but you continued on.

“I’m so tired of being scared…I’m so tired of hiding…” you quietly said, your voice was weak…it broke him. “I wanted to tell you, I really did…But I just don’t wanna get hurt again, I feel like if I do, I won’t be able to fix myself…I’m so sorry Azul…” you cried, he felt the fear and pain in your voice, he wondered who could’ve hurt you so bad for you to suffer like this.

He pulled you into a warm embrace, he was also shaking, out of anger that is, he wanted to know who made you this way, who caused you pain, he wanted them to feel as traumatized as you are, but for now all he needed to do was calm you down. “Don’t be sorry…it wasn’t your fault” you sobbed hearing his words, “It’s okay… I wont hurt you, I promise…” he adds caressing your hair.

After a little while, Azul had noticed you stopped shaking, and your cries had been reduced to sniffles, and your body went slump against his. He looked down to see you asleep, he sighed, wiping the tears stains that trailed down your cheek, he felt you flinch against his touch but then eased back up.

He carried you and laid you down the couch that he filled with fluffy pillow and blankets. He made sure to tuck you in, making sure you were comfortable. When he was sure you’re fast asleep, he kissed you hand and left the room for a bit. He asked Floyd to place Grim beside you, and come right out.

When the twins were both present he told them to keep an eye on you starting now. If anyone were to talk badly about you, upset you, threaten you, or hurt you. The tweels were going take out the trash.

A/N: Once again people, not proofread lol💀 sorry in advance for mistakes I swear I’m fluent in english, just slightly dysfunctional 💀💀

Edit 1: omg I fixed a part that had missing words it was Floyd’s line, I’m so sorry that must’ve been confusing😭🤚🏻

[mo49ko]

Hello!! Firstly, I must tell you that your art is adorable! You were one of the first artists I ever found for TGCF and your fengqing dynamic is perfect!

I was wondering if you had any tips for learning Japanese? I've been trying to learn it for a year but I can't get the hang of it 〒▽〒 I try to use your Japanese versions of your comics to help but since I've already read them in English, I don't feel like I'm learning anything...

Do you have any advice or tips on where to start? qwq

hello!! thank you so much it makes so happy!! i only started drawing fengqing 6 months ago so it's surprising that you found me 🥹💖i have so much fun drawing them!

hmmm im not studying japanese so i don't have specific ressources... if any of my followers have some please feel free to share them in the comments! 💖 it might depend on your level as well.

however, i think that the most important thing about languages is that they're just a tool to communicate with people/access culture/knowledge in another language, so you shouldn't worry too much about the grammar and stuff like that from the beginning.

as someone who has studied many languages, my general tips are:

learn through things that interest you rather than textbook/language apps (ex. manga, anime, etc.) ※ i know that some people say not to do that because a lot of phrases are "unnatural" which is true, but imo if you have awareness about it you will pick up on that really quickly anyways. the point is just to consume a lot of the language;

try to speak/write in that language even if you make mistakes (native speakers really don't care!!): for example, you can tweet something simple or write a simple blog post in japanese often. you can also comment on people's art or fanfics using simple sentences, then you can read other people's comments to learn new ways to express yourself.

consume media that is directed at native speakers (ex. instead of language-learning youtube, you can just watch regular videos from japanese youtubers about topics that interest you), because that way you can learn a lot of natural/casual phrases to use. i'm saying this because language-learning videos will often "simplify" sentences but you won't hear it said like that irl.

as for where i think you should start, i'm assuming you already know the alphabets since you're reading my comics 🫶 in that case, i would encourage you to read a lot more! for example, you can find fengqing comics and fanfics in japanese on twitter 💖 many creators who participated in the 2023 fengqing web event write them!

for me, the most important thing when learning a new language is to be interested in the people who use that language. so just engage with them and learn through whatever contents you find interesting!! 💗

i'm sorry if my answer is not that precise. you can feel free to ask me if you have other questions!! 頑張ってください～

edit: another anon has kindly shared their experience in another ask!

[giyrut-girlie]

(queer) jews in my phone i need help/love

this is a long ass post im so sorry lmfao, im putting it in under the cut to save you all but also if people have head space pls read <3

on friday night, i found myself the last of the shabbat guests (who weren't staying the night) at the Rabbi's house. i had asked my housemate to pick me up at 10:30, but everyone else left before 10.

the kids and rabbi's wife had gone to bed, so it was me, the Rabbi, and two older frum guys who stay over shabbat most weeks to be closer to shul.

for some context, earlier in the evening one of these guys had asked another dinner guest (a med student who I'm good friends with, she's a year or two younger than me) whether trans issues came up in her study. the two of us youngins made brief "help me" eye contact and she answered saying that yes, they did cover trans issues given that as a doctor she will, at some point or another, treat trans patients. the subject was changed, but the room was a bit tense.

so: 10pm, i'm sitting at the table, a little tipsy from all the wine, just hanging out until my ride comes.

the rabbi says "hey ella, i have a question for you now that everyone else (by which he means the not-so-frum people) is gone." and i Just Knew what he was about to ask.

i won't go into extreme detail about the actual conversation, but to sum it up: I was asked my opinion on trans folk, i said that i am supportive and do in fact believe trans people about their identities and was Shut All The Way Down. if i cited statistics i was told that actually they'd seen the opposite, if i tried to explain a study i was familiar with, i was told that they didn't think that was true. i actually don't know how i stayed calm, bc my mind and body were telling me that i was Unsafe basically the entire time (thanks anxiety disorder really did me a solid there /s).

eventually 10:30 rolled around and i had a get out of jail free to skip the rest of that fuck awful conversation, and my housemate was very nice to listen to my debriefing. while talking to her i came to the realisation that one of the main factors in the disagreement was that the rabbi didn't actually value the wisdom of any cultures/teachings/histories outside of judaism. if I talked about sistergirls of the torres strait, or māhū of hawai'i, that was dismissed essentially as goyische nonsense.

this whole conversation has been a Fucking Downer for my mental health. i actually broke shabbat (beyond my usual one melacha to be in the clear and sneaky housemate taxi service) that night bc my thoughts were racing too much to sleep without putting on some comfort media.

but beyond the mental health stuff (though probably actually very related) i've found myself really struggling with judaism since friday night. having my rabbi, who has been helping me through conversion, and who i have really valued as a teacher, and the only two other frum people in the community be so overtly transphobic all at once has really taken me for a spin. like, my rabbi is a lubavitcher, i knew that he was going to be fairly conservative about some stuff, but he literally told me that he only uses the correct pronouns for one of our community members as a "personal favour", and essentially told me that she was good evidence against trans acceptance bc nothing she could ever do would ever make her not a man (and you better believe this involved a lot of comments about her appearance)

to put the icing on the cake, when i dropped off his kids today (i nanny for them once a week), he handed me a book that upon research is basically the jk rowling talking point bible. he said to me that it was a really good book for me to read and that it might help fight some of the "mob mentality" (interesting term for scientific consensus but okay)

(also i had actually looked up my own citations from the discussion later and found myself to be very much correct in my recitation of statistics, but you better believe i wasn't petty enough to forward them on)

ANYWAY if anyone is still reading i'm fucking bummed and super anxious about interacting with my community, my conversion, finding the balance between really truly wanting to pursue an orthodox lifestyle and also being queer myself etc etc

i live in a really small jewish community and can't really leave until i finish my degree in 2026, so i can't exactly just find a more accepting rabbi or shul.

anyone have any advice, or just some solidarity for feeling shitty in this space? love u jews in my phone xx

[farmerlesbian]

hi farmer lesbian!

so ive identified as bisexual for a long time but ive discovered recently i feel very comfortable within the lesbian ideas of gender and specifically the butchfemme community. i’ve been dating someone recently who also identified as bisexual but has related to transmasc lesbians understanding of gender as well as posts about butches. we both kind of see ourselves within the butchfemme dynamic but i’ve been very tough on myself with calling myself a lesbian because i’ve dated a man before (…in middle school..)

it’s gotten to the point where i’m really worried to label myself because of what it’d imply for my partner? but also what people would say? and while i know i dont HAVE to label myself it just sucks to know theres an identity im drawn to and feel like i fit into that i cant immediately slip into

hmm i'm not really sure how to guide you here. i guess i want to challenge you on some of the things you're saying here, it feels like you're coming at this from maybe the "wrong" angle (wrong feels too harsh a word, maybe just not the most helpful angle)

you're worried you can't call yourself a lesbian because you dated a boy in middle school? i think.. a LOT of lesbians dated boys in jr. high and high school and there are lots of late in life lesbians who were married to men for years before figuring out who they are and coming out. this is all completely normal and common. like, dating one boy in middle school doesn't really mean much tbh. i wouldn't base your identity or label you use around something like that. i dated a bunch of boys in high school and early college when i was still figuring out who i was. your labels or identity or gender or sexuality don't need to account for all you life experiences and past. it's not so much about your sexual history but describing who you are *now*, what you're interested in, in the present.

you say both you and your partner really like Lesbian Genders and butch/femme stuff. that's nice, but liking and relating to lesbian culture and gender stuff doesn't make you a lesbian haha! it's who you're attracted to and who you're not, that determines your orientation. gender and orientation are different things, as i'm sure you know. obviously very connected and stuff. like, for example, just because someone identifies as a man it doesn't make him straight, even though heterosexuality is an integral part of manhood, in the dominant culture. gay trans men are certainly not rare! the same goes for you guys.

also, remember that transmasculinity is a broad umbrella and encompasses a wide variety of people and their identities and experiences. plenty of butches aren't transmasc, and probably most transmascs aren't butch.

i will tell you that in the course of running this blog and being on the internet, i've probably seen and shared thousands of photos and drawing of people. not once have i ever seen something that represents me and my wife. if you are seeking out representation or examples of the options to be, in order to figure out who/what you are, i would advise against that. seek what feels true to you, what feels honest and right. you do not need to be similar to other people in order to find belonging, acceptance, and community. (though of course this is absolutely nothing wrong or bad if you do find others just like you, if you do fit in to existing roles and dynamics! that is of course perfectly normal!)

now, i don't know you or your partner. you know yourselves best. i can't tell you what you really are or really aren't. and i certainly am not going to tell you what you can or can't be! everything i'm saying here is to prompt you to think about and questions to ponder for yourself.

so, i think you have some points to think about, why have you been identifying as bisexual? what is drawing you to the lesbian label? have you tried using 0 labels and not thinking about your identity or labels for at least a month or two (if not a several months) and then coming back and evaluating it afresh? what about the butch-femme dynamic are you drawn to? what is holding you back? you are allowed to discover that you are a lesbian! or you are allowed to continue to be bisexual! i can't tell you who you are - but you're allowed to be and do whatever you want, whatever feels true to you! even if it doesn't make sense to other people or you don't see anyone else like you out there. you gotta be a little bit brave!

hang in there, and sending much love to you and yours! 🧡

[leefi]

The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere Read-through | Part 1: Chapters 1-14

Part 1: 1-14 | Part 2: 14-22 | Part 3: 22-34 | Part 4: 34-64 | Part 5: 64-80 | Part 6: 81-90 | Part 7: 90-100 | Part 8: 100-127 (caught up here)

Hi!!!! I've been reading through this webnovel after seeing @ot3's pitch for it and started writing down some thoughts on the characters and worldbuilding and imminent murdering. This story is very, very long and I only reacted up to about chapter 33, so most of my thoughts will involve the worldbuilding and less the murder mystery aspect -- so if you're looking for theorizing you won't find much of that here. Since I'll be continuing eventually, I wanted to post what I did make note of to revisit later!

Most of these are not marked by chapter/section because I was lazy and I'm not sure how easy it will be to follow as a result, but everything is chronological.

everyone here is hijabi mashallah

The visual I'm getting of the solar system/local system/dimension they inhabit is kind of a blend of steampunk and fantasy and uhh some secret third thing. With the walls of their "universe" painted in that puella dollhouse witch lair style. Does the sun bounce around like a screensaver. Does it orbit their earth or is it on a fixed axis flung out into “space”? Does “space” even exist anymore? I’m assuming they’re in an enclosed area that they've created. Do they actively use arcane resources to keep objects (ie star and planets) sustaining themselves, or have they made them self sufficient?

everyone is so mean to Ptolema leave her alone what the fuckk let a bimbo live i want to kill you all you’re so annoying. Ptolema I WOULD be your friend and not ask all these weird ass questions. and we would hold hands and skip and giggle

Yes shes an airhead nepo baby but you guys could try doing anything other than snickering and rolling your eyes whenever she says stupid shit. If she starts arguing back about government war crimes during the Revolution or something then you have my blessing to beat her ass!

I HATE kamsurepa i HATE her i HAYE Her and her stupid ass name

Ran and Su have no chemistry its insane that theyre always hanging out every conversation is like uhhh (awkward silence) (rude comment from Ran) *Su voice* wow she gets me so well. every time they talk im like what the fuck just happened.

Su’s internal narration is too self aware for me. it’s like she talks like she knows she’s a character? or something. it's self-deprecating in a very bizarre way

im sorry i don’t know if i can continue with this. i know too many med students irl and these characters are literally pissing me off. compliments to the author for realism you knocked it out of the park

Oh, thank you very much!" Kam said, reverting back to her smiley-diplomatic form for a moment before stepping away from the counter and continuing as she handed us the cards. "...as far as it seems to me, the desire to reproduce is essentially an immature form of pursuing life-extension - this idea that you'll 'live on through your children' that's patently pseudo-mysticism justifying what is ultimately an animal instinct." ⬇️ I’m going to grab her ginger head and swing her around like bowser in mario 64. SHUT UPPPPP SHUT UP please tell me shes the one that dies

You know," I mused idly, my eyes wandering. "I think this is actually the fourth glass ceiling I've seen today." "Mm, it's true that you don't see a lot of women working in Aetheromancy," ⬇️ I know this is a small nitpick but aren’t we really far into the future why do they keep using terms like this 😭 gendered stuff like this still exists billions? trillions? of years into the future?

Why has the disco elysium skill tree randomly started talking to su. Is this her future self nagging her. Is she pulling a han sooyoung. when do we get to the various utsushikome ego deaths

"prosognostic overlap"…do ppl repeat faces? Are most people cloned at this point? What triggered the need for cloning surely medicine is advanced enough that childbirth or test tube babies are feasible? Can bodies be cloned and reinhabited to inhibit aging? Is there some disturbing psychological element to seeing someone with the same face as you? Does it make your brain short circuit? Kam mentioned having children earlier which I assume means people still give birth or have test tube babies, so i don’t know if it’s the result of cloning…but it does sound like a sameface sort of thing. What else would it be if not that though?

Actually, if they’ve figured out teleportation (whatever it was called when they went up the aetherbridge) - let's say they can atomize a body and reforming it elsewhere (though we don't know for sure yet, could also be a fold in spacetime) - transferring consciousness to an empty clone of yourself (and therefore effectively doing away with aging or death wholesale) sounds a lot more efficient and technologically practical than maintaining an organic system that naturally decays. Why keep on finding ways to push the human body past its limits when you could simply transfer a person to a new, identical vessel?

I feel like the key to immortality isn’t maintaining an organic body, which naturally tends towards systems of entropy (being a biological thing, entropy=decay), but rather delineating and separating human consciousness from its host and replicating its original environment perfectly. I’m not talking about making a copy of consciousness, which is just glorified cloning - I’m talking about *transferring* a consciousness.

You could almost call dementia itself the mind's tendency towards its own kind of entropy?

Though if you transfer a consciousness to a younger body, the dementia issue could still potentially remain. Depends on if it the author sees it as a solely physical phenomena (atrophy/buildup of inhibitors of the brain) or there's some metaphysical anomaly about amassing too many memories/"existing" too long in general

The way spellwork is described is really cool and feels super believable. Optimizing multiple concurrent spells into one “function” is intricate and sophisticated, and you have to dedicate a lot of brainpower to doing the math in your head. It’s like they’re coding the real world. I love the way lurina describes this it's awesome.

[who-is-page]

hey! i'm new to this community so im so sorry if this is rude. i just heard about otherkin and therians from sophieinwonderland? but she said things about how being attracted to otherkin and therian people is like zoophilia and stuff. i'm sure those posts are still up on her blog if you want to look. anyways, that made me feel weird? so that's why i'm asking you. you seem to know a lot of things? based on my vibe check. so i was just wondering what your thoughts on this are.

I've had sophieinwonderland blocked for a really long time now, so I had to take a quick jaunt through her blog to check this-- I'm guessing you're referring to this post from 2022, where she says "Zoophilia means an attraction to animals. [...] I think we can all agree that biological nonhuman animals cannot consent and that bestiality is wrong. But what actually constitutes zoophilia is so much murkier. [...] if attraction to animals is zoophilia, is attraction to animal-identifying biological humans?" (It's important to note that Sophie states elsewhere on her blog that the TL;DR of what she was trying to convey in this post and the related debacle surrounding it is that she doesn't believe in thoughtcrimes, doesn't want non-offending paraphiles harassed or attacked, and supports human-bodied animal-persons in relationship with other consenting human-bodied adults. These are all pretty reasonable stances to hold, all things considered, and we don't want to conflate her with actual Zetas and bestialists-- she just seems to accidentally be repeating some questionable rhetoric without realizing it, because she isn't familiar with the therian community and its unique missing stairs in this regard. Source)

So from an outsider perspective, regarding folks who aren't particularly familiar with the otherkin and therian communities and who don't know better, this can seem like a genuine point or a fair question to bring up. What people don't actually often realize is that not only is this not true, but this sort of rhetoric is actually most often used as a bestialist dogwhistle. Let me explain.

So first off: no, having a partner who is an otherkin, a therian, a non-human fictionkin, or who otherwise is a human that identifies as an nonhuman animal does not make someone a zoophile nor a bestialist. Having sex with your human-bodied consenting adult partner is not bestiality. Loving them for who they are is not zoophilia. Zoophilia is, first and foremost in this context, an attraction to real-life actual animals. Things like thinking Mufasa LionKing is hot, or being a murrsuiter, or following a therian on OnlyFans, doesn't count.

(For those interested, there actually is a specific orientation term for people who are strictly alterhuman4alterhuman-- the term is "Medusan," it was coined in 2018, and it's actually more popular than you think.)

Now, here's where the unique problems of specifically the therian community comes into play, and why what sophieinwonderland is implying here is teetering close to an unintentional dogwhistle on her part, something she wouldn't have known because she's not a member of our communities. If you're not interested in the history aspect of this and why referring to therianthropy or otherkinship as potentially or inherently zoophilic is a dogwhistle, you can jump-ship here and I won't blame you-- I'm putting it below the cut for brevity's sake.

The therian community, if you're not aware, has had an issue in the past where several long-term, respectable members were revealed to be bestialists, either they themselves participating in bestiality or being knowingly supportive of those who do. These individuals were (and still are) also, unfortunately, in charge of or otherwise held leadership positions in some of the biggest and oldest therian and otherkin forums-- namely Therian Guide, OtherkinPhenomena (who shared a majority of its staff with Therian Guide), and the Werelist (who also shared staff with Therian Guide). You can check out my Therian Guide Beware for details and citations, because that's where most of this initial explosion of "WTAF" stemmed from.

When this all came out in roughly 2017-2019, it created complete community chaos. People felt betrayed, and rightly so. There were a lot of divisions in the community about where to draw the line, when, and how. And the bestialists intentionally made everything as messy as possible during the course of it all.

The bestialists largely justified their abuse through their own therianthropy and connection to animality, and when that didn't work, they pivoted to trying to include as much of the therian community under the "zoophilia" umbrella as possible in order to argue that it was natural or normal for therians to sexually abuse animals-- you can see an example of them doing that here, in Therian Guide owner DustWolf's baseless Twitter assertion that "60% of all therians are zoo[phile]s." (mirror).

For the record, no, 60% of therians are not zoophiles, and no current statistics from the community supports this. I wrote a Twitter thread in 2022 debunking this claim. But this also ties into the next point-- DustWolf isn't just referring to people who are attracted to real life animals. DustWolf is also referring to bestialists in this statistic, even if it's not immediately apparent.

The bestialists tried to paint this picture of all therians being pro-bestiality by trying to expand the definition of the term "zoophile" in public discourse and muddle its meaning as much as possible, to mean everything from "person who commits bestiality" to "person who had a crush on Nick Wilde as a teenager" to "person who experiences a sex drive and who also identifies as a nonhuman animal." They also used anti-bestiality backlash to try and lay claim on anyone who got caught in the cross-fire, playing the sympathetic shoulder to people who weren't bestialists or even zoophiles to get them to join up in their communities, and they coined terms like "zootherian" to try and reinforce a nonexistent connection between bestiality and therianthropy. It was, to summarize it succinctly, a complete clusterfuck. Nowadays, bestialists have also picked up queer social justice rhetoric and language to try and argue for the legalization of bestiality, though this wasn't as prevalent 2 years ago, which is its own issue.

Because of all this, assertions and implications that therians and otherkin are by default zoophiles, or that a majority of therians or otherkin are zoophiles, or that therianthropy and otherkinship can be intrinsically tied to zoophilia, or that zoophilia is queer and alterhuman, or even publicly identifying as a zoophile, is considered a major dogwhistle in the community. Historically when people who aren't just outright anti-kin have said these types of things to our communities, it's been to cover the asses of people who want to normalize and legitimize bestiality, or because the person in question is freely involved with communities and groups who have welcomed pro-bestiality attitudes. Saying that shit is a quick way to get blocked by a ton of alterhumans on most platforms. Sophie made a distinct division between "bestiality" and "zoophilia" in her commentary so it's obvious she didn't intend it that way, but it's still really not a great thing to say or imply because of the history behind it and the ways it's been used before.

So, to reiterate: no, people who date therians and otherkin aren't zoophiles, and people who say such are implying a lot more than they actively realize.

[bellaswansong]

hi when i was 7 i was labelled as "gifted" (bullshit) (bad) and i spent the rest of my public school career in programs. age 9 i was moved into an all-day every day gifted program supervised by adults who told us things like "the normal rules dont apply to you" (what the fuck) (irresponsible) and "normal kids probably won't get you" (oh my god) (literal adults telling this to me, a 9 year old, surrounded by peers who had been told this since they were 6) (so i am sure you can imagine how fucking unbearable all of us were)

anyway i figure im qualified to comment on a selection of Opinions™ from the tags of yet another post by someone who remembers how annoying people like me were in school and has never moved on or considered how the adults responsible for that factored into things.

hi! i had a 504 plan in high school. i should have had an IEP but the school refused to even consider that because i was in the gifted program. four of my same-grade peers also had 504 plans and there were about 15 of us. there were 400 people total in my grade.

the point: you probably know how the gifted program worked at your school, but none of this shit was standardised, so when you see a "gifted" kid on the internet, you have no way of knowing if things were the same for them. where i am from, most of the gifted kids were either diagnosed with Problems or refused sufficient accommodations based on their "gifted" label.

so true go off. no comments here. i was not retaining SHIT, those books were a dissociation aid <3

i blame my feelings of inadequacy and sadness on the fact that i was told i was inadequate daily because i failed to live up to a coercively applied label. i was not special and it was irresponsible to tell my parents that i was. if someone was affected by the "gifted" label to the point they are still talking about it, there is a high chance they were abused by parents and teachers. "imagine being a real adult and being affected by your childhood in a way that i can misinterpret in bad faith" "imagine being a real adult and having stuff to say about your abusive childhood" stfu about "gifted" kids forever <3

it is the gifted program that sets the demands our parents enforce. it is the gifted program that told our parents they should expect miracles from us. maybe my parents would have abused me for my grades either way, but the shape of their abuse is inextricable from the trappings of "giftedness" and i am not going to pretend like none of their tools came directly from my teachers.

true go off

anyway why is the validity of our experiences questioned based on the behaviour of high schoolers? a lot of us behaved sooo fucking poorly in school but that doesn't make it ok to assume all of us are overdramatic liars.

you have sympathy for the troubled kids who were hated by authority but as soon as someone with the same problems is singled out by adults and held to impossible standards you treat it like a reward when it's just a different form of abuse.

if you feel like youd rather withstand whatever i went through if it only meant you could access the opportunities i failed to grasp, that is your own damn business. abuse that would be worth it to you is still abuse.

[robotnuts]

are there any rvb fics you still think about all the time? like i dont think a week goes by without thinking abt qed and how it def changed me on a molecular level, do you have any fics like that?

oooh good question. the most important fic is at the bottom of this post so just scroll to the final paragraph if you only want one, true recommendation of the only rvb fic that really matters.

QED is fantastic though its more of @shotgunslap's thing than mine. the partner to that is also obviously QoQ, the only rvb fic ive been able to make almost all my friends read. i think about the south/north characterization every day of my life. caboose and carolina mean so much to me, etc etc. thats a pretty easy pick though so im cracking into my ao3 bookmarks to look for more niche picks.

i know there was actually a lot of rvb fic that was just posted to tumblr that i think ive gone back and tried to reblog at some points but i never organized it, i should have archived it, people who wrote good femslash and rvb women liked to just post it under a readmore on their tumblrlog and you have to go digging through decades old tags to find it now

okay. the big one i actually do still think about all the time forever and ever is saltsanford's stuff about epsilon/wash's relationship. this is the big one i still think about that centers on their backstory, but also, put my guns in the ground, which is one of the Big fandom tuckington longfics, also has such good washpilon stuff in it and they're so fucking juicy. when tucker asks wash how many times he's broken his ribs and he says four and epsilon says "actually it was five" before realizing How Bad of a Move that would be. Hello? Hello?????? i want them to be forced to reimplant and have weird mind brain trauma sex SO BAD sorry im normal. this is another one that takes place during/after the chorus era

on the spectrum of fics that i actually dont yet feel ashamed reccomending, primtheamazing, who wrote QoQ, also wrote some other good stuff. i am a HUGE fan of this fusion fic, the punchline to the tucker/caboose fusion is HYSTERICAL. this one where grif forgets who simmons is due to temple shennanigans and flirts with him is also very like. trope-y but i like that shit so this goes here too

ok. now onto the stuff that it is actively embarrassing for me to be recommending. but. prim's logrimmons fic is hysterical and was the stepping stone to creating the lolixgrimmons mind palaces with my friends so its worth it just for that. but also its really fucking funny. so is the one where locus has to listen to them have sex and gets himself caught

the truly embarrassing one for me to have here is the piece of softboy grimmons content i participate in. sadly i do enjoy s15 content sometimes for the softboy grif sensitive emotions exploration i will admit to being a hypocrite there and i really liked that one and reread it frequently (just realized this is written by the QED person so! you might already know of it)

and then finally. the most important red vs blue fanfiction of all time, guns are for shooting. it has it all. sarge. washington. sarge again. kismesisitude. grif and simmons acting like rosencrantz and guildenstern (are dead). locus being invisible and getting caught by lopez with a bag of flour. it's written by the person who wrote QED. You want to read it right now. Read it right now. READ IT RIGHT N

wait no the cute bit about sarge declaring war on gravity and upending a bag of flour onto lopez isnt in guns for shooting. what fic is that from

[damienthepious]

did you know that it's a full moon tonight? because that fact has shaped ALL my writing progress today.

i fucking hate this new editor by the way. i can BARELY fucking post fic at all anymore and it's fucking banishing me to the phantom zone. go read my fic on ao3 instead im begging you.

raised by wolves

[ao3]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationships: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Rilla, Sir Damien, Lord Arum, The Keep

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin' Tuesday, Established Relationship, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Werewolf!Rilla specifically, Secrets, (look i think rilla deserves to have some angsst explored for once), (uhhhh god there have GOT to be more tags uhh. i don't know i'll add more later), (In later chapters there will be), Implied/Referenced Harm to Children, Implied/Referenced Violence, Mild Injury

Summary: Rilla is keeping secrets.

Notes: This didn't exist this morning and now i've got a new fucking multichapter to worry about jesus fuck. hopefully (LMAO) this one won't actually be that long? if it goes according to.. plan???? yeah. right. fine. okayfine.

~

Rilla has always liked straight lines. Consistent rules. Categories, into which data points will neatly fall.

This might, possibly, have something to do with all the categories she falls between the cracks of, herself. Or maybe she was always going to be like this. Who knows? She doesn't exactly have a control group to check with. Life doesn't work like that; neat and tidy like her experiments. Life is messy. Her life, in particular, is messy. But, hey, at least it's messy mostly on a predictable cycle. Mostly.

Rilla packs her usual bag, false bottom carefully in place with her new tinctures alongside the old standbys. She pulls her hair out of her face and into a braid, and picks her way down to the greenhouse to say her goodbyes.

A newer wrinkle in the routine: saying her see-you-in-a-couple-days, I-promise-I'll-be-safe, try-to-remember-that-I-love-yous in the Keep, now, and not in her own hut. Saying them to Arum, too.

Arum hasn't questioned her absences, yet, because she goes off on her own all the time anyway, and because he never really seems to question her about leaving the Keep. She can tell that he doesn't want to remind her of being kept here, and... that isn't necessary, really, but it's sweet, in a way.

He and Damien can keep each other company while she's gone, too. Which is nice. Damien doesn't have to be quite so lonely when she's gone, anymore (and Arum doesn't have to be lonely at all, if she can help it).

She kisses Damien deep, distracted by the way his skin smells, this close to the moon, and when she pulls back Arum nuzzles his snout into her neck in a way that makes her want to growl, though she manages to suppress the urge into just a shudder as she wraps an arm around him and squeezes. No time for fun, just now, unfortunately. She kisses Arum's cheek, light and sweet to make him scowl, and then she peels herself away with a casual wave.

The Keep's portal drops her in the front room of her hut, receding back into the wide planter to the left of the hearth with a gentle farewell warble from the Keep (or at least... what she assumes is a gentle farewell warble), and Rilla grabs another one or two things to stuff into her pack before she steps out of the hut, locks up, and marches into the jungle.

Damien thinks that her monthly disappearances have to do with harvesting rare medicinal plants with very particular blooming cycles, which is... partly true. There are flowers and herbs to be harvested during the day, when she can. She doesn't like being less than honest with Damien, but she's been less than honest with every single person she's ever known since her parents were Exiled. And- it's a medical condition. Sort of. She's allowed to keep a medical condition private if she wants to.

Arum...

Arum complicates things. He's good at that.

Arum complicates her excuses for not telling Damien, specifically. Because if Damien can, in fact, put aside his animosities and find room in his heart for a monster...

(Maybe she could have told him ages ago.)

(Or maybe not. Maybe it would have been too much, before. Maybe he would have been terrified. Maybe he would have felt betrayed. Maybe he would have told the Crown. Maybe he would have-)

No one knows about the second hut, the same way no one knows about her condition. Though... "hut" is generous. Her home is a hut, cozy and carefully cluttered and warm and welcoming. This building is more of a shack, really. It's a fair hike from the hut, but she can get there before dusk with time to spare, which is pretty much the point. Technically speaking, she could just overnight here and then come back home during the day, if she really pushed it, but that would be a lot harder to explain than just saying that she needs to travel to a distant grove for botanical purposes.

It looks abandoned and ramshackle, but the door and the lock are sturdy, and Rilla has the key.

Sturdy, reinforced walls, a wooden locking bar to make certain that nothing gets in and out, no windows. Bare floors, excepting a chair and a desk in one corner for a little bit of reading or writing during the day, and a chest to keep her things in. Mostly open space, where Rilla spreads out the blankets she brought, right in front of the metal hoops for the chains.

She cut her timing a little close today, mostly because she wanted to actually enjoy her morning with Damien and Arum. She sighs, stretches, and unpacks her extra clothes into the chest so she can get to the false bottom of her pack and pull out her medicine.

First night. She'll go with her standby tincture, this time. She has a new experimental blend she wants to try, but she'd rather save it for tomorrow, the full moon, and see how it affects her on the day that hits her with the most severe symptoms. This one, she at least knows that it'll keep her mostly placid.

She sighs, uncorks the vial and slams it back like a shot, wrinkling her nose at the taste.

The medicine makes her memory a bit... muddy? But even before she developed this particular treatment regimen, she couldn't remember much about what happened, what she would do on the nights immediately surrounding the full moon.

She does know that she hates it here. Hates the chains, hates the wood against her claws, hates the drowsiness from the medicine. Hates being alone.

She packs her kit back up. She undresses to her underclothes, then stows her dress and shoes and the tinctures into the chest before she closes it with a click.

She goes to sit on the blankets on the floor, then, fixing the harness around her neck and chest and adjusting it to the marked positions. Rilla has been alone in one way or another since her parents left, she reminds herself as she settles in to wait, her skin already prickling and her eyes adjusting far too quickly to the dark.

The wolf will just have to cope.

[multiplicity-positivity]

hello!! do you guys know if there’s a good way to find out if we’re a really low communication or possibly monocon system VS if there’s just a mental barrier between front and headspace? im not sure if this is a good description but we don’t notice super distinct shifts but rather at any given moment to find out who’s fronting we go through a list of all our names and see which ones cause anxiety and which ones fit ok. our communication is abysmal and it feels like there’s a “wall” between whoever is at front and the rest of the system. do we just try and accept plurality until someone from the other side of the “wall” shows up? or are there ways to try and make everything run smoother? sorry this is kind of a lot!!! thank you! — las creaturas sys

this may be a bit more complex than we (a nonprofessional) can really help with. it may take some work with a therapist or even just some time spent focusing on self-reflection and discovering yourself in order to find these answers.

that being said, here’s some stuff we can say with confidence (more or less…):

1. all there is to being plural is being or existing as more than one. if you feel like you share others in your mind, that’s all it really takes to be plural. if the plural framework helps you and is useful for you, you’re welcome to use it, even if you have absolutely no contact with other members of your system.

2. the way that you describe figuring out who’s fronting reminds us of an article we read a while back by a did system. here it is -

maybe the way this system functions can provide a bit of insight into your own system, even if you don’t suspect having did or a dissociative disorder.

3. as far as we understand, headspaces are imagined places created by visualizing something in your mind. we wrote a post about headspaces here:

not all systems actively had to create their headspaces, but for the majority of them, this is true. our own headspace was created through conscious choices made by members of our system. however, our host also struggles to access our headspace. we’re not quite sure why this is. as far as we know, dissociative barriers work by blocking off traumatized alters and trauma memories from the alters who handle day-to-day functioning. we’re not sure if being blocked or cut off from the headspace is a dissociative barrier thing.

4. when first discovering a system, establishing contact with other alters can be ridiculously difficult. especially if you have high dissociative barriers, or system members who are heavily in denial or can’t accept that they’re part of a system. however, we firmly believe that with practice and patience, internal communication can improve with time! our system used to be a huge mess in this regard, but at this point we can communicate with each other decently. it’s still a work in progress, but after 2 years of parts work in therapy and lots and lots of time spent focusing on trying to get in touch with each other, we’re in a much better place and find communication much easier to manage.

we have a post with some basics on establishing contact with headmates. it’s designed for folks with dissociative disorders (as that is our experience), but it may be useful for any kind of system. here it is:

…and that’s pretty much all we can say here. if you’re questioning whether or not you’re monoconscious, perhaps try scrolling though @monoconsciouscultureis to see what sort of experiences systems often submit there, and find out if their experiences align with yours. other than that, we don’t really know what else to say that might be useful.

sorry if this post is all over the place or doesn’t make much sense. we’re wishing you luck with figuring this out. remember, with practice, patience, and persistence, you probably can achieve better communication or at least a better understanding within your system. sending you our best!

🐢 kip and 🌸 margo

[loredwy]

Good evening

Im here to show you all how normal I can be about comics I read (not normal)

Today, I will talk about Im the Grim Reaper, comic made by @/Graveweaver! (here in tumblr)

And this essay will contain reasons why you should vote for Scarlet, Chase and Brook in the @friends-to-lovers-tournament. So even if you dont read all this text because its way too long, please DO IT. FOR ME.

Disclaimer: The following paper will be based in my headcanon of the three of them being a little polycule. Therefore, although it will describe actual content from the comics, they will be as unreliable as I can be <3

Disclairmer 2: This will contain SPOILERS, and even though I will be mentioning which chapters the spoilers are from when I show screencaps, I recommend stopping to read the comic if you think it sounds interesting, for you to not get spoiled too much.

NOW LETS START

So to put you all in context (tbh you can skip this all because I wrote a bit too much), the story goes about what Satan calls Grim Reapers, which are human souls he chose to work for him, sending sinners to hell by killing them. Reapers, however, are not regular humans, as their bodies are 'meat puppets' Satan made to put their souls into, along with demons that give them their reaper powers.

Our protagonist, Scarlet, reacted to being told she was sent to hell as anyone would: 'WHAT DID I DO', accompanied by multiple other questions like why she couldnt remember her past. Because of this, her past becomes a goal to achieve, wanting to discover what she could have done and why.

In the process, she encounters a detective (?) who, recognizing her appearance because of Scarlet's corpse, started suspecting she might be related to the mistery of her death. Which was true, although he didnt expect in which way tbh. -> they teamed up, decided to fuck around and find out

Then later on, investigating some of Scarlets memories, they ended up encountering the city's mafia. Which, funnily enough, had a reaper with them. Why? Because the reaper was way too entertained posting stuff in their blog he didnt want to go find sinners (canon).

Now, were reapers ever against each other? Not really? They have the same boss. So Chase, as the tumblr sexyman he is (<- questionable), convinced Brook of joining them and kill sinners who actually had done bad crimes.

Are you still there? I know I might be boring yall by just telling you the context, but I swear its important to understand (?)

But my point with this post is show you how over time, they start showing how much they care of each other on their own ways, Chase x Scarlet having the advantage because of them becoming closer before Brook joins. Having a confession (?) and everything. But even then they didnt dump Brook at all 🤩

[Spoilers of episodes 47 and 55-57]

Up to this point, not only do the three of them live under the same roof (because Brook and Scarlet were homeless), but bond over their shared circumstance of being partners in crime (literally).

And because there are lots of fights in the comic (?) we can also see the extent at which they would go for each other. Including, but not limited to, sacrificing themselves (because comic readers are destined to suffer) 🥳.

But how much did they sacrifice themselves may you be asking? Well, if Im remembering correctly... Scarlet might have died about 3 times? I might be confusing some with the times she just got brutally hurt or severely traumatized, but lets say its around that number: just to save Chase and Brook <3 (different occasions). She even LET GO of her PAST to save them, which she wanted to know so bad before, to know herself better. She's honestly both impressive and scary by how much she could do for those she cares lol. In Brook's case, he almost gets doomed for eternity to save Scarlet, and im pretty sure he didnt escape fully from that (but hey, Scarlet is fine <3). And Chase... 👁👁 situations happened. Lets be honest tho, Chase was an emo child, like, what he did had to be dramatic as fuck 💔, otherwise it wouldnt have felt like a Chase thing. He was a theater kid, im sure. He is a Batman kinnie. That should tell you enough.

BUT EVEN AFTER ALL THEY'VE GONE THROUGH. EVEN AFTER EACH OF THEM SCREWING UP AT LEAST ONCE. EACH TIME, THEY DO FORGIVE EACH OTHER.

And hear me out, because im not crazy. THIS PEOPLE. They, who live thanks to drama and edgyness. Are you telling me it wouldnt be fucking easy for them to just explode out of anger and break up, and like, get to be enemies or something.

NOT. EVEN. ONCE. HAVE THEY ABANDONED EACH OTHER.

JUST

LOOK

[Spoilers of episode 70, 80 and 110]

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Anyways :3

Even if they dont win is ok, but if you got to this point read the webtoon its really good 👍

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

(vote for Scarlet, Chase and Brook....)

[bleauktopus]

Hiii ! Hope im not too nosy for replying to your tag to my post but im just a yap king;; I definitely think that the fact that kaito can pass as shinichi was like, invented after dc and mk got their universes merged? i dont think it was intendet at the beginning at all, but its definitely such a fun gag that, yeah theyre just similar,, and its implemented more nicely that them being related :(

ALSO YEAH EVEN THE TOICHI ALIVE REVEAL ??? I AM JUST PROCESSING THAT ??? imagine thinking your father has been dead for the past 8 years and then ??? IT TURNS OUT HES ALIVE ?? i wonder what will kaito react,, like i would just be in shambles if i would out my father was actually alive and i have been sacrificing my own life once a month just to find his murderers… also from what i heard toichi has been conversing w yusaku; if thats true, why not share it with kaito that his father IS ALIVE even if not well ?? i definitely hope there will be some decent explanations or something but damn,,,

also toichi & yusaku's relationship is definitely more different with the lense of them being siblings ? all these fuckass plot points make me want to rip my hair out at this point i say lets just invent our own plots i really do have to watch the movie as well because ive been just consuming other ppls posts djhgdjdsghkjfs

I was the nosy one anyway. I don't even watch Detective Conan anymore. I really don't like where it's going. Ran and Shinichi dating and she still doesn't know??? Isn't that unfair to her? What happened to hiding because the Black organization will kill his loved ones (such a stupid excuse but fine. Maybe he's scared whatever) wouldn't the Black organization prioritize killing Ran now? She's his girlfriend now after all. Isn't it stupid for such a huge secret organization to just massacre people because one kid didn't die? It's so stupid.

But it is my first anime. I loved it to bits as a kid and it still holds a soft spot in my silly heart to this day.

Kaito and Shinichi being doppelgangers was important so Kaito could pull his stunts so well, even if it happened after the merging of universes (lol) it's still canon that they look the same. Even enough to fool Ran who seems to have some weird Shinichi sixth sense sometimes. But I mostly remember those happening in the movies and the movies are 'not canon probably' most of the time.

It's stupid but????? Kaito Kid's dad is alive?? What? Poor Kaito is getting shot at once a month by the police and the people who almost murdered Toiichi (What's up with the organization Kaito is fighting now? Were they just staged to be killers? Did they fail to kill Toichi???) Looking for a magic red stone of immortality to find his dad's killers and his dad is alive? And you know his dad knows about the stunts Kaito pulls. Kaito Kid is infamous and he'd be a shittier dad if he didn't even check up on his son while in hiding.

What??? Yusaku is involved now?? Did he so easily agree to not touch Shinichi precious Black organization case because he's helping his brother? Are Shinichi and Kaito even aware that they are cousins? Are Yusaku and Toiichi aware that they are brothers? So many questions. It's so stupid I also wanna rip my hair out!

Oh by the way, about the ship stuff. Found this gem on twitter. You guys, just do you XD

[switchcase]

hey there, i have a question as a pwDID who hasnt experienced RAMCOA and i figured you were a fairly reliable source. i've come across quite a few people talking about programmed alters, omega programming, etc and im wondering how much credence there is to those claims? almost every source i can find on its relation to RAMCOA and DID seems to be exclusively antisemetic conspiracy theorists that thinks the government is run by lizards, so i want to know if theres a kernel of truth in there or not. id obviously never fakeclaim people, thats just not my thing, im only curious about the true facts about RAMCOA bc there doesnt seem to be a lot that isnt laden with conspiracy theory.

I have a RAMCOA tag that might answer some of this for you. Entirety of this post and 3rd paragraph of this post.

Unfortunately at this time RAMCOA has become an online trend. I would say the vast majority of people talking about it are mistaken on the definitions (for example there have been multiple people claiming parental abuse is OA, or that the abuse type can be done with a singular abuser), being manipulated into thinking they are by their online social circles, or misunderstanding manipulation, conditioning, gaslighting, coercion, or indoctrination as programming.

As a general rule, I take Everything people say about this subject with a grain of salt. People telling the truth are not necessarily being accurate, given the nature of the abuse type. I also do not believe in the motivations of people who seem to be focused on acquiring some sort of social capital from it. This stuff is additionally not very easy to uncover in yourself. Honestly, it's easy to tell when someone is incorrect about this abuse type, it's much harder to tell whether they're simply mistaken or intentionally lying, to the point that I personally don't try to figure it out and just avoid them. An example would be dissociadid who was caught stealing other survivors' stories from a Facebook group to weave into her own story vs an individual who was actively told that they must have RA history by their online friends and accepted this. In short I would give very little value or thought to most of the people you're probably running into.