#im just sadly no longer or maybe never was one of them

[misty-missdee]

1st week being done smoking weed has come and gone. Only had a couple urges, but my willpower is kinda stacked so it's all good.

I've been a little more anxious in general, but it's been nice not feeling like a huge dumb dumb and teleporting forward through time.

I packed all my stuff away this evening finally too. It's a little sad, but again if I'm going to focus enough to get out of this forsaken desert it's just how it's gotta be.

[vinestaffery]

Scythe X cop or detective reader where Scythe kidnaps reader to join her cult or somthing

of course!! im a bit tired atm and my schedule bursted up again, so the other people that have requested, i will be taking a bit of a while to post them fully, but i promise i am working on them!! sadly this is gonna have to be a drabble, im so sorry </3

Characters: Scythe, GN! Reader Prompt: One-sided Romance I think???, Small Drabble Warnings: Usage of (pet) names; Mentions of murder; Slightly descriptive but vague of how Scythe killed civilians; Religious themes; Kidnapping; Drugging; Scythe being a literal serial killer; Indoctrination(?)

Days were never suppose to be this harsh. You were always looking for new angles for the strange disappearances of many civilians in Lost Temple, yet it seemed like every new case was to mock your work.

Someone was watching you, for all you know.

Days were becoming longer, more dissociative then regular. Someone was watching you, you could feel it. It was like being played with like prey, if anything, a piece of meat in the claws of a carnivore.

But, it didn't let you shoot you down off your pedestals. You still, somehow, no matter what found a way to link to your suspects. White, gold and teal clothing, and the way the victims were left.

Cut, bloodied and garnished. Ripped apart in one slick-move, a slice. Head, shaven off of it's horns before being squashed like a tomato with a heel.

You were connecting up the dots to your very last suspect; Scythe.

You met her a few times, once at a bar, another when you had nearly gotten into some beef with some stragglers late at night. She was somewhat always there to support you, but would be never seen again. You took note of this.

When the investigation was left up to you, the police huddling outside for their break; the sun blared down below the alleyway. The shadows were your spectators, witnesses to a brutal massacre of several.

It was her. It was her, how she always disappeared, how everything seemed to become more of a blur. She was always there.

All she had to do, was find her, or catch her in the act.

"I'll get you, one way or another," you whispered to yourself.

"Well, you've bet to get on wit' it, don'tcha?"

A voice seemed to silence all thoughts. You didn't turn to face the new opponent.

You readied your hand-gun that was strapped to your left thigh, hand hovered cautiously over it.

"You and ya littl' ol' brain, finally come to make senses haven't cha? Fufufu..." Scythe laughed, a claw raised and a large weapon rested on her shoulder.

Your heart was thumping, you had no clue what had happened to the people that were here before; blood leaked across the floorboards.

"You must watch yourself, Snake, or else," you threatened, vile in your throat and hatred in your words.

"Or else what, my fine sheep, you goin' to do something?" Her name-calling was getting on your nerves. "The sheep, the one who follows, threatenin' big ol' me? Why, what a show."

"You best watch your tone, or else I'll get those men to take you away-" "And do what? Shoot me with this?" She plucked a gun from her pocket, you could hear it fall and chatter on the cold, hard ground. It rung in your ears.

"Say, maybe if you are ta hear me out, I'll leave ya' be!" Scythe snarled in a smirk, eyeing at you as you gave a small turn. Your hand still readied by your waist.

"And what must that be?" You questioned.

It took her seconds before she was up close, hand over your prepared one as she pulled you into a hold. Your hands, crunched in her soft leather glove while the other one, outstretched and squished by her metal.

"Scream, and everyone in this town's blood will be on your hands, rabbit," You were petrified but held in your sounds, clogged in your throat. You could just throw up.

She took notice, and started dragging you away. In a sorts of type of kidnapping, it was uncomfortable. She caressed your cheek, holding you close as she kept viable eye on you.

Everything started to become fuzzy, did she slip a drug into you by chance? No, she couldn't have. That's not her sense of style. But, everything and everywhere became unrecognizable.

"That's it, we're nearly there, my sweet," Scythe was astonished at how you were still able to walk, to even keep yourself up with her as you seemed to become tired and unable to respond.

Her scorpion tail came back close to her once more.

"Fucking- scorpion.." You pointed out, the tip of her stinger dripped a certain chemical before you fell into the warm-heated sand.

Light's blared into your face as you suddenly awoke. Your back was in pain, brain spinning and pleading to be free from it's coffin.

"Fuck-.. where?"

"Ah-ah ah! Don't want the doctors hard-work to be demolished shall we?" Scythe's voice rung through the room. It echoed in your ears.

"Where am I!" You screamed, but it seemed no use as she walked over. Her heels clicked to the solid, clear marble ground.

A hand reached over, two clawed fingers pinched at your chin and made her look up. God, she was tall, and quite beautiful, for a serial killer. "Wouldn't wanna wake up the others now, do we?" Her scorpion tail threatened as it reached in view.

Eyes widened, and a simple nod in command. She let go in a rough manner.

"Now, you best listen to me, or else you'll end up the same way those people ended up," Your ears wanted to close, but you made eye-contact with her.

She took it as an agreement.

"You've rose quite an interest in me, my sweet. I wouldn't think such people like ya' would be so heavily fascinated in my work of art," Work of art? What is she talking about? Those were never work of art. Those were polished crime-scenes of horror. Onslaughts.

"Now, I wouldn't want my favourite detective, my favourite sheep to be close to finding out about me now do I?" You shook your head.

"Good. Now, if you want to live and make it out of this room alive, you best follow my words," Alive?! "What do you mean 'make it out alive'? I have no deeds to share with you!" You spat.

"Oh, but you mustn't think of it that way. Think of it as a way of... saving you and mine's life. You see, I work for someone quite special deity," Special? Who could be anymore special then the SfOTH? The respected deities, gods if you will?

"There's no one as special as the SfOTH, those deities would crush someone as despicable as your boss."

That struck a nerve.

"You best keep that mouth shut, or else I will do more damage then what my boss would do to you and everyone in this god-for-saken town," Her weapon in hand, you squeaked. You stayed quiet once more.

"... Now, where was I? Ah, yes. I want you to join me, in order to protect you from the harms that might come your way for your... case," "Work with you?" "Yes."

You could nearly laugh! But you couldn't, you'd die.

"...Any benefits?"

"Oh, darling. Benefits were already arranged the first time we met," You snarled. Of course, she was planning this all along at the very start.

"Now, do we have a deal?"

Silence.

A long, period of silence.

"Well?"

You couldn't stop thinking about your family. Your friends, people you considered close.

"You best answer me, clock is ticking."

Your father, mother, what about your pets? What about, what about, what about?!

A slam of the chair, and a rising heat of pain strucking your face as you cried out.

"I've given you one chance at this, now you best answer me! Yes, or nay?" Scythe knelt down to face at you.

"One."

No Answer.

"Two."

No answer.

"THREE-"

"I ACCEPT! I will join your stupid- fucking team!"

...

"Good."

[pmpwbrrs]

I'm pretty much in love with your off string au could you ramble more abt it .,. I'd be extremely happy to read it

Im glad you like it and thank you for reminding me that I wrote this, and giving a reason to ramble <3!! Sadly i don't have anything to really add? But I'll say what i kept to myself i guess!

I keep remembering about one of the things ghostlycoze said.

—

—

I actually REALLY like this idea. I don't think ALL iterators are gonna have this problem, because not all iterators, i like to think, associate themselves with their puppet? And they are all different. But i love thinking about how some of them look up at the sky, and see endless heavy clouds produced by their still giant, powerful colleagues(family? friends?), while they are here, small, and so vulnerable. I like to think that that the longer they stare at the bottomless, grey sky, the more they can't tear the eyes away. How they feel their new heart beating faster now, and it makes them nauseated and more stuck in this moment – because this heart is beating like a mouse's. So fast, they can feel it, they can hear it, in their neck, in their chest. And it's foreign. The sky is foreign. The choking dampness of the air is foreign, the wet cold soil is foreign. THEY are foreign. Can they be even considered an iterator? How? They are not even the same person, how can they still call themselves an iterator?

What have they done to themselves?

I don't think some iterators even manage to handle this. I think some of them, with no way of returning to a previous live, take an easy way out. Or at least risk it – after all, they don't know what the Cycle thinks of not only iterators, but of an abomination like them.

For some of them this is not freedom. For some of them, freedom is impossible to obtain, even when they have risked it all and threw away everything that made them who they were.

Or maybe, for some of them, at some point – standing in the cold, wet soil, becomes a sort of relieve. Perhaps, for some of them, the damp air and the now rumbling, endless sky, become more welcome. Maybe it's better for them, than what they were before. Maybe they'll get used to this, even if it's so hard it makes their head heavy, and their breath quickened, and even when they are not what they were, and never will be. Maybe as they breath in, they'll be reminded that they are no longer stuck because they've been given no other choice, but they are stuck on their own accord. Maybe that makes them ecstatic. Or, yet again, scared, or regretful. Or guilty. It depends on an individual. But overall, it's hard for all of them. And not all of them can or wants to deal with this.

–––

I also remember I was thinking about «what if Pebbles is saved only in Saint's era?». But the more I thought about it, the more sad and existential I became, and I never got around to drawing anything, because the idea of slowly losing yourself and all your memories terrifies me.

I think, if Pebbles is saved in Saint's time, there is no way to bring him the way as he once was. It's just NO WAY, i can't believe it. His whole body had fucking giant TEARS in it, there wasn't a single place left of him, his neurons are now squashed by 574020 kms of rot, 30942 kms of metal and dead organic and his flesh, and 2933892 kms of snow, he's a home for fauna and flora now. He will never come back. MAYBE some neurons will help?? But i don't think they will, or that they should help as much as they helped Moon.

Pebbles cannot recover fully. Of course, care and patience and not being in his corpse will help, slowly, but still not a whole lot.

I wonder how Moon would feel about him. How everyone would feel. And mainly, how Pebbles would feel.

I already somewhat explored the idea of Pebbles losing his memories. It was an animatic about his life flashing before his eyes, but wrong and twisted, and he can't remember the names of the people he cared about, but he feels guilt and shame, and in the end he gets ascended (right now animatic is abandoned).

But... If he's off string....

Imagine how painful it is to look in the eyes of a person and know that you did something horrible to them, but you can't remember what it was, and you can barely even remember who this person is. All you know is that you love them, and that you have hurt them. How would their forgiveness feel? Would Pebbles feel weird relief? Confusion? Grief? Will it even help?

Will he feel anger and an inexplicable sting of pain when they look at him with pity? How would he feel if he saw people's hope when they think he might remember something, but he just can't?

I already said that "iterator off string is not even the same person", but in the case of Five Pebbles in Saint's time, I think it applies to him even more. He's not the same person even before he gets out.

How would he feel being so small and fragile, but being aware of it, now? How aware is he, really? Has he even agreed to go off string? Could he agree? How would HE feel about the stuff I said earlier? The sky, the snow under his feet, the freezing, biting wind?

I don't like making things all dark and gloomy and no hope FOREVER only SUFFERING though. I think there are ways to help Pebbles and to heal. For all of them, really. Sure, as I said, I like to think there's not much you can do to help FP, but there are ways. And in the end, even though he doesn't have his memories, and he's scared and confused, and he's weak and small, and he's in pain, and he feels cold – he's with people he loves, and who love him. I think it's beautiful. And I think it's an improvement on rotting away in the snow and listening to the same tune until the end of time. And now he gets warm much more often.

–––

That's pretty much it? I didn't think about off string that much. I GUESS there are also some fanfiction i wrote, but ehh + I'm shy about my writing + it's russian and needs translation + it doesn't focus the on a dread of being off-string and all that, so I'm not gonna show that.

A lot of people left really interesting thoughts in tags on this post with nsh though, so I recommend you to check them out, they are lovely <3

[nitunio]

IDOLiSH7 Hunger Games Simulator

I used to play this thing all the time with other characters and fandoms. Now it's time for them to go through it!

Im using this website, you can press "Load Season" and paste the code XKs4qINi to load the main cast, then press "Edit Cast", scroll to the bottom, press "Submit" and you can proceed afterwards!! (the edit cast part is for it to refresh the whole thing, otherwise you will be playing my simulation ^__^"")

Now for the main attraction! I did one run of it and oh. . Experience under the cut! (VERY LONG POST)

Beginning!

Most people run away from the cornucopia, with the exception of them:

WHERE DO I BEGIN. Mitsuki's furious rage (contained in such a short body) made Tamaki give up. At least Sougo scored a mace for them (violently). Ryou loses also.

Minami fights Anesagi for a bag too, and Riku and Touma fight as well. Minami and Touma get their bags.

Weapons obtained: Nagi - sword, Torao - pair of sais, Okarin - handful of throwing knives (oh!), Momo - bow and arrows

Manager uses violence! Basket of bread obtained.

DAY 1

Not even the break of dawn, Momo already is set out for ZOOL. His archery skills are... admirable. Sorry Touma, your fight for the bag didn't save you

On this episode of Torao Needs A Therapist - WHAT. And on another note - Riku would probably be the worst person to go to with that request, I'm glad he went to him

Mitsuki also has a very... depressing thing going on, in spite of fighting so vigorously with Tamaki over a bag. And Yuki would never hurt his kouhai (with an, cough, exception).

Some of the other contestants sadly weren't lucky enough.

Nagi and Banri are killed gruesomely (an explosion and whatever torture Ryou did to Nagi). It's unclear if Gaku had an intention for murder, but we'll see later.. as for Ryou, he should find a better way to vent his anger after failing his fight for supplies.

In other news!

Sponsor items - Iori receives medical supplies, Okarin receives clean water

Takanashi Papa goes hunting.

Haruka picks flowers.

Minami and Yaotome Papa search for firewood. (separately)

Takanashi Papa goes hunting.

Anesagi discovers a river.

Deaths - Touma, Banri, Nagi

NIGHT 1

Starting the night off with something light - they're all decently equipped, and Momo is dealing with some stuff after killing Touma, but as always, not showing it. Mitsuki probably needed this mood lift too, since he didn't do too well before.

Tenn sees their fire but decides to stay hidden, trying to calculate his next move.

And continuing the trend of going to the worst people possible to be making this request to - we now know that what Gaku did was most likely an accident, and Banri just got caught up in it. Sorry, Gaku, you're gonna have to live with it.

In the distance, Takanashi Papa is trying to gather resources...

OLD MAN, DON'T CLIMB TREES, YOUR LIMBS MAY NOT BE SUITED FOR IT ANYMORE. Otoharu Takanashi joins Banri in heaven.

Other contestants find themselves alone...

Utsugi questions his sanity. Tsumugi questions her sanity too.

Anesagi cries herself to sleep.

Yaotome Papa attempts to start a fire, but is unsuccessful.

Ryou goes to sleep. (as one should after murdering a guy, you sick sick man)

But wait.. AN AMBUSH?!

Iori, Tamaki and Minami are no longer alive, because their attempt at ambushing was gravely unsuccessful. For all the planning Iori and Minami could do, there is no stopping Tamaki from acting rash..

And as a cherry on top, Torao finds new powers within himself after Riku's kind words this day and decides to-

Fatally injure Yamato! What an end to this night.

Maybe a nap would help...

Deaths - Takanashi Papa, Iori, Minami, Tamaki, Yamato

DAY 2

As the Sun's rays creep up on the grounds, people wake up and start their day with-

More bloodshed! Torao, I think you're getting WAY too into this, perhaps it might not be the best time to "give it your all"?

Other contestants seem to be doing better, possibly to balance out Torao's kill count.

As the remaining center of ZOOL, Haruka is doing his best to cover for the teammate in the "mercy" department. Thank you for sparing Sougo.

And Tenn is doing his usual thing.

In other, minor news:

Momo discovers a river.

Okarin diverts Tsumugi's attention and runs away. (Tsumugi CAN be scary, believe me)

Utsugi thinks about home.

Ryou fishes. Yuki constructs a shack. (treating it like a farming sim, I see)

Yaotome Papa travels to higher ground. (as he always does in his life)

Deaths - Ryuu, Mitsuki

Districts 2 and 9 are wiped out! Torao has the highest kill count (3) (I don't count Riku, Ryuu and Yuki in that because they were a team in killing the ambushers, and there's no way of telling who contributed the most)

NIGHT 2

Okarin and Sougo really love their campfire stories. And now that Tenn has calculated his moves from the past night, he can safely be in their company, now with his brother too.

Utsugi receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Momo thinks about home. Yuki looks at the night sky. (sighss)

Haruka passes out from exhaustion.

Yaotome Papa and Torao both see the campfire, but stay hidden for the night.

A peaceful night indeed.. Wait!

An unlikely (by threat or withholding resources) alliance of Anesagi and Ryou is going after Tsumugi and Gaku! The Manager-Idol duo survive through their sheer power (Tsumugi) and the urge to protect (Gaku).

Deaths - Anesagi, Ryou

DAY 3

Usual day, as usual it can be.

Haruka fishes.

Sougo tries to sleep through the entire day. (uncharacteristically so, perhaps from exerting himself too much)

Tsumugi runs away from Momo. (knowing his archery skills, it could have been a worse outcome. glad Momo's not out for blood)

Yuki attacks Gaku, but he manages to escape. (Gaku, what did you say to him?)

Yaotome Papa steals from Tenn while he isn't looking. (TRIGGER's property is his property too, right?)

But there's more!

Riku plays with some dangerous toys and finishes Torao's kill streak by exploding him, with Utsugi getting caught in the explosion too (That's the second manager who barely did anything and exploded. Stop exploding your local managers)

And maybe give your managers medicine next time too? Okarin received clean water earlier, but it clearly wasn't enough to stop the deathly infection.

Deaths - Torao, Utsugi, Okarin

District 8 and 11 got wiped out! 2 members of i7, 2 members of TRG, the entirety of Re:V and 1 member of ZOOL are alive. Tsumugi and Yaotome Papa are still alive too.

NIGHT 3

Surprisingly devoid of spilled blood, the night is spent peacefully

Haruka thinks about home.

Momo and Tenn run into each other and decide to truce for the night. (best interest in mind, and looking after a kouhai too! great!)

Yuki, Yaotome Papa, Riku, and Gaku sleep in shifts. (unexpected to see Gaku team up with his old man, but things happen! Riku and Yuki decide to continue their alliance from before)

Sougo receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor. (so that no people can die from infection injuries ever again.)

Tsumugi questions her sanity. (i would too)

DAY 4

The cornucopia is replenished with food, supplies, weapons, and memoirs from the tributes' families.

Yuki and Gaku get into a fight over raw meat, but Yuki gives up and runs away. (he needs it for his makeshift soba, Yuki!)

Haruka decides not to go to The Feast. And as we see, it was one of the better decisions.

Yaotome Papa decides to end all sorts of rumors and blow up Riku. Unfortunately, Tenn's "twin sixth sense" couldn't make him get there in time to lead Riku away, but at least they're together now. Two kills on Yaotome Papa (and, like son like father, both he and Gaku are responsible for most explosion deaths. brilliant. please don't continue!) (also fun that Riku was playing with explosives earlier and now died. because of them)

The Feast also brings us a fight!

Sougo has had a mace since the beginning, and now he decided to use it well! And well, he used it. Momo's bow/arrows and Tsumugi's raw strength just couldn't compare.

Deaths - Riku, Tenn, Tsumugi, Momo

DAY 4 (CONT.)

Yuki camouflauges himself in the bushes. (already looks the part)

Yaotome Papa constructs a shack. (what else to do after setting off an explosive)

Sougo tends to Haruka's wounds. (very cute moment after a double-murder, but now these medicals supplies are getting some use!)

Gaku practices his archery. (did you not hear what they did to another archer moments ago?)

NIGHT 4

Yaotome Papa and Yuki tell stories about themselves to each other.

Gaku receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor. (GREAT.)

Sougo tends to his wounds. (efficient and great! probably one of the better doing contestants)

Here's an example of a contestant who's not doing well.

He'll sleep it off, I'm sure.

DAY 5

Yaotome Papa starts the day off by making a wooden spear. Let's see how others are do-

BETRAYAL! After all the injuries have been healed, and Haruka's mind cleared off from screaming, he went straight for it! What a twist!!!!!! WHAT A MOVE!!!

And Sougo might not be the only one with the bad luck today.

Gaku gets betrayed by the ice and his own body, and drowns in the lake. Sadly the received hatchet will never be used.

Let's see how Yuki's doing.

Oh. Alright.

And now it all comes down to these three.

NIGHT 5

Haruka and Yaotome Papa talk about the tributes still alive. (not a lot of them, and you make 67% of the population now. this is just Yuki gossip)

Yuki accidently detonates a land mine while trying to arm it. WHAT.

Deaths - Yuki

DAY 6

Yaotome Papa accidently detonates a land mine while trying to arm it.

Hey. I think the land mines might be faulty. What the fuck!

And the winner is - Isumi Haruka, the lucky man who did not want to arm the landmines! His journey was tough, but in the end it all came down to not touching explosives.

Congratulations!

[snobgoblin]

Where did the idea that Ace’s last name is “Copular” come from? From what I’ve seen it was never said anywhere officially and I had a feeling the Ace expert™ would maybe help me figure this out

THATS A GREAT QUESTION and you're right it's definitely not canon and I'm sorry to say at this time, nobody fuckin knows where it came from. even people that have been in the fandom longer than me don't really know, but there are a few theories

it came from a troll. this is pretty widely accepted as Copular in Spanish means......

someone needed a last name for a fanfic or au and it got out of control

just people making stuff up on the wiki for no reason... this is pretty common for the ppg wiki. I'm pretty sure they gave Grubber a last name as well but sadly not as many eyes are on him

this one's a personal theory -> "Ace" was too vague so somebody just made up a last name so they could find their stuff easier + people ran with it

there r probably other theories but I forgor them rn

but yeah all this to say it just kinda appeared one day sometime over 10 years ago and people ran with it

fun fact! it's so well known at this point that the 2016 reboot lists his voice as "Ace Copular" when that's never been confirmed before <- im not counting it bc this implies they literally just read his wiki to write him

[denzartriste]

Hi denz do you have any set designs for any of the other characters in you pirate AU? (I Might need ideas for art mayhaps :D) like you can choose any character or characters you want

I also just liked seeing your thoughts about technos design bc it made more sense to me when then reading the newest chapter

Hi Ýr! I actually do, and also've drawn up some designs (Ranboo especially, since i needed a visual refrence for their entire. Situation.) The top two drawings are a bit older since i did them a while ago, but i still think its accurate?

The bottom one was the first of the new drawings i did, and i think its a bit obvious but that's fine. Gonna just point things out because i think that's the best way to explain :D Also trying not to delve too too much into spoilers but it will be tricky.

The before thing is referencing mainly when Ranboo met Tommy and Tubbo, it's after the boat crashing. Shaded parts are white, because ranboo scars white, and the mouth scars are placed where the jaw connects to the rest of the head. He also has ones on their tear ducks, thats what the scar lines near the eyes are. The top before drawing (the side profile one) has ranboo's braid still in, but thats technicly wrong because while Ranboo had their braid in when they met Tommy and Tubbo, they never tied it again. No reason to that, Ranboo just didnt feel a need to do it.

Their braid is tied on the right

The now drawings include the bandage, cause Ranboo doesnt really want to show his scars (bandage is tricky to do himself, but he can do it and usually does. There is a Reason in chapter 2 Ranboo asks tommy specificly to help him re-bandage his face.)

Last thing about them cause i know this is getting rambly (fully aware no one minds, but also i am trying to be clear and FAILING) : Ranboo has pointed ears. This is not a normal thing. Techno doesnt mention it because he choses not to notice it, but it felt impoprtant to mention since im talking about Ranboo's design.

Little baby tommy zoom in (i doodled it so small lmao sorry bout the pixels)

I just felt like drawing him very little and young. The scar is face paint wow i wonder if its familiar i wonder if thats like, a hint to something who knowsssss :) (Also it might just be mud actually, not face paint. He put mud right next to his eye and he thought it looked SO cool)

Also, pigtails. That was important. He has pigtails. In my heart it matters, fem tommy for the win he deserves to have longer hair

ALSO. The full body is inacurate, but it would be spoilers to do an accurate kid tommy so i sadly can't. When it's revealed i will as a little sorry (and also cause i REALLY wanna draw it but shhh thats not important) (it might also be related to why Ranboo asked Tommy to help him with his bandages. But i refuse to give away more than that)

Last but not least, Tubbo!!!!

He is NOT bald i just didnt want to draw more, so i took an screeshot of and older drawing of his scar because i think that's important. His eye droops and his face is a bit messed up, he also can't hear out of his left ear (obviously) but his other ear isnt that good at hearing either. Tubbo's been around cannons since he was too little to understand that, hey, maybe covering your ears will be helpful in the long run. But he was little and no one ever told him. He figured it out now, but his reflex is more of 'tense and stay very still' instead of 'cover your ears and duck'

He also tends to wear heavy outfits. Like, a big jacket and big boots and just clothes that are so puffy that they give him a round silhouette if that makes sense

[chanstopher]

Hi! Im sorry to bother you 😭 but the last two days have been a rollercoaster of emotions and I usually don't really keep up with the drama so I can't tell if this whole situation is normal or not lol

Also I totally understand if you're done talking about it, so feel free to just ignore this 🙏

I just can't get rid of the feeling that it's all being handled in a weird way, it's pretty obvious that it is the company that pushed this decision, Chan basically said it himself in that fansign video. And while I agree with ppl that it might be a good thing for chan to take a break from chans room but I don't get why is it done so poorly. He hasn't mentioned chans room since june and he's the only member that hasn't gone live lately...

Wouldn't be easier for everyone including jype, chan and stays, if Chan said smth like chans room will come back someday or that it won't come back, maybe say that he's busy and taking a break. Today he had to spend the entire day sending cryptic messages on bbl, now he clearly wants stays to stop bringing attention to it, but without any answers ppl are still going to speculate about it yk? Basically, I don't see how this way of handling everything benefits anyone, especially Chan, cuz there are already ppl blaming him...🥲 Sorry for ranting 😭

sadly when it comes to kpop we very rarely get clear answers. back in june chris posted on bubble saying he wasn’t able to do it for the foreseeable future. i think we all assumed that meant a little while but between the bowing thing and how stays and the other fandom have reacted on top of just how insane the boys schedule has been i’m not surprised he’s at a point where channies room isn’t so possible. it does suck and it’s hard to tell what the real reason is, my guess is a combination of a lot of things, as to why it’s gone but i think it’s going to be one of those things we have to just accept. if and when chris finds the time or ability to do it again it will happen. if not it’s truly sad but chris has honestly been too busy for it for years now but has put the time in anyway and i think he’s been holding himself to the promise longer than he should have. channies room has always been my favorite part of the week, but if he needs to stop it’s just something we have to respect.

also jype is literally just always garbage at announcing or keeping fans informed of anything. after how they never talked about hyunjins hiatus or let the meme era talk about him at like all during that time i expect nothing from that company to be presented well unless it’s making them money lmao

[jorisjurgen]

1 2 7 11 12 14 17 21 23(im evil) 28 29 (im eviller) 31 33 34 41 42 (for funsies) 43 (im EVIL) 45 56 56 56 56 56

I FINALLY GOT TO YOUR MESSAGE BESTIEEEE i was scared of answering it during the week because i knew it would take me ages.

Excluding the questions I've answered to other ppl, obv. THIS IS JUST A PART 1 OF ALL YOUR QUESTIONS.

What’s the lie your character says most often?

Atcham: he doesn't really lie enough to have a reoccuring one. He just says whatever comes to his mind, I think. Kerubim: literally everything he says is a lie. Especially when talking about past events. He will randomly make shit up, even while knowing that the other two KNOW that he's doing that. Joris: "I am in awe of your intelligence, your majesty. This will be a wonderful move, even if it may upset the leaders of Brakmar."

How loosely or strictly do they use the word ‘friend’?

Atcham: he doesn't, except for saying it ironically. Kerubim: anyone he's known for longer than an hour. Joris: likely to apply this word to people with whom he shared 2 near-death experiences with, because now they are connected through the Cosmic Bonds of Fate.

What would you (mun) yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell?

I'm not imaginative enough to say what I would yell, but I know what they'd yell to one another.

Atcham: "Someone is mistreating Brakmarian steel swords" Kerubim: "There are discount 90yo chairs here" Joris: "Khan merch from 200 years ago?!"

All of them love buying stuff, so yeah.

If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

Atcham: any specific-ass sword facts. Kerubim: what were you doing in Bonta 610 years ago in a boutique with your girlfriend at 10 o'clock and what colour was her dress. Joris: what time he worked until last night. Any answer that isn't "3-4am" is sus.

A more emotional answer is that across 600 years they probably have got a lot of some very hyperspecific things to ask one another.

How do they put out a candle?

Sadly, I think they all just blow on it. Maybe clap and then it magically disappears. I am not a candle expert (candxpert).

What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

Atcham: most people notice he's bald. he, too, notices that, and never fails to think that it's off-putting. Kerubim: most people noitce how fluffy he is. Kerubim himself notices some random knots in his fur. It's very knot-prone, and he's a bit lazy about brushing his fur. Joris: most people think he's a child, or if they don't they still notice his height. While Joris's daily concern with the mirror is "do I need to tear out some new scales? [checks chin] [checks neck] [checks cheeks] [checks his head]"

What common etiquette do they disagree with? Do they still follow it?

Atcham: all of it, and no, he doesn't. Kerubim: I don't think he gives a fuck in general. Joris: all of it, yet he still follows. He hates hierarchical things, and he hates hyper specific fork and knife rules, and he hates the way teachers expect children to rise from their tables and bow and greet them, before the classes. But he copes and seethes silently, his whole life. He appreciates the way these things make him come off as more respectable than he may really be, though.

If invited to a TED Talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

Atcham: the Brakmarian approach to building pipe bom—— Kerubim: how to survive your 5th divorce. Joris: why you don't need any relationships or friendly acquaintances outside your family and why that's healthy actually.

What’s something unimportant / frivolous that they hate passionately?

Atcham: Kerubim's tolerance of customers that can be psychologically destroyed instead. Kerubim: Atcham keeps scaring away the customers (Joris does too, but it's a "his noble X vs. Atcham's barbaric Y" situation.) Joris: Kerubim keeps adding way too much sugar to coffee and makes tea way too dilute. It makes him dream of killing both him and himself.

[thegeminisage]

for never have i ever: amnesia?

HIII thank you both <333

never have i ever written amnesia, believe it or not, even though i'm a HUGE fan, as in, it's my number one bestie. actually, no, i sort of have to take that back...i've lowkey written amnesia INTO larger stuff, but never an amnesia fic on its own. so there's been: a couple of da kmeme fills with fenris who has amnesia (they're lost to the sands of time now), ben originally had amnesia during his djinn dream in @cambionverse (but it got cut and revised), and i wrote derek as having amnesia about his encounters with jennifer in anchor. but not an Actual Amnesia Fic. every time i try to think about how i'd want to do it i sort of...blank out? there's so many ways to do it i get too excited and want to do all of them at once and then something else comes along and grabs my attention. i can't tell you how many times i tried to toss around a leverage amnesia fic and just couldn't settle anywhere.

so, just off the top of my head, as a thought experiment...i'd want it to be trek because that's what i'm into rn. i actually started to formulate this as a generations fixit (kirk in the nexus can't remember his old life/that he died/something something + spock and bones pull him out) but there's a small, small, SMALL chance i might ACTUALLY write a generations fixit (sans amnesia, sadly) so i don't want to do it here and accidentally make myself less likely to do it fr in the future.

my second choice is kira/odo because i have been thinking about them nonstop for a WEEK, possibly longer. since you can't have amnesia without brainwashing, i would have odo get mindwiped and carted back to the founders or whatever. and since it's my fic and i can do what i want odo remembers like, ds9's weak points and security routines but he doesn't remember any of the people or being friends with them. so he's like helping the bad guys do evil bad guy stuff or whatever and then when the good guys are almost beat they board the defiant and he and kira are fighting until she says something important and just as she's about to go down for good he oh my fucking god i'm just rewriting the winter soldier. god damn it. maybe this is the real reason i've ever done an amnesia fic. embarrassing. winter soldier wasn't the thing that introduced me to a love of brainwashed amnesiac assassins but it is the thing that made me crazy about them. ANYWAY. let me try again.

so odo gets his memories wiped so he'll return to that great collective or whatever. and he learns what it means to Be A Changeling. he can perfect the human face like that other evil changeling that i hate. so he doesn't look like odo anymore when he changes into a humanoid form, but also he doesn't do that because THEY only did that to communicate with him and kira, so he doesn't even NEED a humanoid form. and he's like yay im so happy here i love being a changeling :) except when somebody stumbles onto their asteroid or he needs to open a door or whatever requires a humanoid form...he just winds up becoming kira. and maybe he catches sight of his/kira's face in the reflection on the water or something and is like Whoa...who is That and that other changeling lady is like dw about it come back to the goop so he does but he also keeps insisting he can't have made that form w/o seeing her and he wants to know where. and since he's got such a good sixth sense about solving unsolved mysteries he solves his own mystery of who he is and how he got there. meanwhile the ds9 gang are searching EVERYWHEREEE for him and when they finally go check the asteroid odo goes out to meet them in kiraform and is very surprised to see. kira. and everybody else is like who tf is this why is this changeling pretending to be kira but kira knows Right Away it HAS to be odo and so they recognize each other even when they aren't able to recognize each other, which is basically the same thing that happened when they met. and odo either intimidates that other changeling into giving his memories back or he remembers on his own and they leave together and live happily ever after.

WHEW. you guys thought you were throwing me softballs but i was sweating bullets over that thing. kiraodo winter soldier au would be fun as hell though don't lie

[ASK MEME]

[hirik0]

Jealousy Part 12

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11

NSFW09Soap/Ghost

Anal sex, edgeing, fingering, orgasem denial, top Soap, bottom Ghost, brat ghost, pillow princess ghost

Soap thinks hes losing his mind. They reached his cottage 3 days ago and since than Riley, the fucking dog is cock blocking him hard. Hes getting cock block by a dog a new low. When ever he and Ghost are just next to each ther Riley is squising himself in between them, even in bed then of course Ghost is a big soffty letting the dog sleep in bed with him. As if he says to him get your fingers from my owner. He dont even know how Riley figures out they are cuddeling or kissing. One time Riley was sleeping in the garden and ran insite just to stop them making out on the couch, but they had a lot of time to talk. Even Ghost is getting a bit annoyed with this behaivor. But today their were able to ship Riley of to Soaps parents. So they had 7 dog free hours. Ghost is a bit nervous about it Riley celarly not on his best behaivor, but Soaps parents asured they can handel it having a variaty of dogs themselves since the kids moved out. They could always just call if Riley is getting to much. The other think is he has no idea where Ghost is who said he need to take a walk 30 minutes ago. The feeling of them failing at their relationship is creeping in Soaps thoughts. He's watching some sit com on the tv, wating for Ghost to return. So he yelps when Ghost is suddenly dropping on his lap, silent like a his callsigh implieshe just appeared. "Had a nice walk Simon?" "Mhm, just wanted to make sure your right with the secluded part", Ghost anwers with a pleased smile on his face. Soap is gasping at this, remebering tellling Ghost he can beg and scream as loud as he wants here. "Yeah, checked the parameters?" "Afirmitiv." "Could just have believed me, you know." "I could have, but honestly the walk was also for my nerves." "We fucked in my office and your nervous about fucking in my bed?" Ghost is blushing, cheecks turning dark pink. "I usally have short flings in hotel rooms Soap", Ghost admits. "So Im special?", Soap ask smug. "Sadly this seems to be true", Ghost deadpans. They both chuckel at this. "So you never get to be as loud as you want?", Soap ask intresstet. Ghost rises his eyebrow a dirty grin on his face. "Oh no, they usally dont care about noice in the hotels i have my one night stands, Soap." Soap mouth drops open, fucking hell. Ghost looks very pleased with himself as he feels Soaps hardening dick pressing against him. "Fucking hell, Simon.", Soap curses, when Ghost is pressing himself against Soap, to be able to wisper the next sentence right in to his ear. "Got told more then ones that hearing me scream in these hotels is a major turn on for other guest, you now." With this Soap jumps in to action, pushing Ghost from his lap before he throws him over is shoulder to carry him to the bedroom. Ghost face is turning red, this should not be so fucking hot.

Ghost get throw on the bed, getting hard in recort time. "Your into this? Letting people overhear you? Mhm, like making a show for them to let them hear how good you're getting fucked?", Soap ask while stripping out of his shirt. "Maybe.", Ghost moans supressing a shiver "Well then we should have stayed at your flat." Ghost blush is spreading to his chest at this sentence. "Even doing it on base, for everyone to overhear, despreat littel slut." "No, I normaly stay silent on base." "So why did i hear you moan while walking past your room, Simon?" "I.." "Hear you beg for my dick?" "I wanted it so bad. Soap." Soap had more to say about this but he just cant wait any longer. Slowly kneeling on the bed before kissing Ghost. Soap had plans for Ghost, wanting him to beg nicely for him. Beg to get the collar, beg to get fucked, beg for his cock. "Simon, Rember the 3 rules?", Soap ask seriusly. "If Im not behaving you stop, if I'm to loud you gag me and tell you if its to much", Ghost recounts the rules. "Well today only the telling me if its to much part is apealling, 3 taps", Soap explains. "So i can be as bratty as I want?" "Oh, you can try to talk back but i dont think you wil be able to", Soap has a dangerous glimps in his eyes. "Oh your awfull sure about this. You really think I only back talk?", Ghost challenges while Soap is pulling his shirt up. "Your rules also still apply? No hitting and no restrigment of the hands?", Soap ask ignoring what Ghost just said. "Yes", Ghost is swallowing when Soap throws the Shirt asite. "Any last works before I make a needy, begging mess out of you?" "As always no action only talk."

Soap know that Ghost will eat his words very soon. Before getting started he throws some thinks on the bed, lube, his phone, a condom if Ghost want to use it and a blindfold. "Is it okey if I use this on you?", he ask Ghost holding up the blindfold. Ghost takes sometime to think about it, hes a bit unsure about it, but he trust Soap. "Yes, but if its to much i will remove it", Ghost answers. "Of course", Soap asures him giving him a kiss as a treat for stating his limits. "Such a good boy telling me what he wants", the praise falls out of Soap mouth while he carefully takes Ghost eyesight away. "Not to tight?" "No its fine", Ghost says fokusing on his hearing to get a idea on what is going on. A tug at his sweatpants and he lift his hips to help Soap to get them off easier. "Tsk, no underwaer again? Simon did you have a suprise for me again?" "No", Ghost answers truthfull. Soap sets the timer on his phone for the blindfold before taking the lube bottel in his hand. Ghost gasps when he hears the cap gets opened and moans suprised when the cold liquid get pured on his dick. He wants to complain when Soaps hand is closing around his cock. The rythem that Soap is setting is painfully slow, the grip not firm enough for Ghost liking and he has the feeling that this is on purpose. Hes thinking about somethinkg to say, to egg Soap on to speed up, making the mistake to bit his lip. "Something on your mind Simon?", Soap ask sounding smug, watching how the amount of pre cum that Ghost is leaking is becoming slowly more. Then Soap is leaning down licking the pre cum up, making Ghost moan. Soap does this to get a better feeling for Ghost tells of a orgasm, how his abomemon mucels are flexxing, how his bitting his lips before gasping, how his grip on the sheets is getting stronger and after a few rounds of him slowly jerking Ghost off Ghost is trashing his head to the sites. "Soap", Ghost moans feeling how Soap is slowly pulling him to the edge of his orgasm. "Yeah sweatheart? Enjoying yourself?", Soap ask. Ghost making a pleased sound at the term of endearment. "Yes, but more please." Soap just kisses Ghost thigh not speeding up. When he feels Ghost thights trembel he stops getting a displeasedsound from Ghost. He wipes the rest of the sperm up with his thumb before smearing the mix of lube and cum all over Ghost lips. Ghost licks over his lips moaning when he realsies its the strawberry flavour lube he bought. "That your favourite taste?", Soap ask curios while he wait for Ghost to calm down. "No, my favorite is Blue Rasberry."

Ghost makes a displaes sound then Soaps lube coverd hand is beeing use to spread his legs, before he hears Soap open the lube bottel again. This time he dont feel a cold sensation on himslef but he hears how Soap is coating his hands in lube. He moans when he fells Soap fingers circeling his rim coading everythink with a generous amount of lube. Soap is clearly teasing him, just rubing over his hole, sometimes, pretending he will finally push a finger in. "Soap", Ghost complains whinnie. "Yes", Soap ask inocent. "Stop ahhh", Ghost gasp when Soap is finally pushing the first finger in. And just as slowly he jerked him of he is pumping the finger in and out of Ghost and Ghost is wondering what Soaps goal is. "Yess", Ghost moans when Soap is accidentel hitting his prostate just for Soap to avoid the spot. "Soap, please stop teasing." Soap smiles at how whiney Ghost sounds before pushing in a second finger, very focused in not hitting Ghost sweetspot. "Doing so good for me", Soap prasies when he sees that tears are starting to soak the blindfold. Ghost is meowling at the praise and Soap is starting to slowly streaching Ghost. When he is satisfied by Ghost panting his pushing in a third finger. Ghost moans are becoming louder and louder and he gets a full out scream when Soap pushes a forth finger in. "Johnny", Ghost hisses getting used to the burn of the screath. A develish smirk is spearding on Soaps face before he starts to abuse Ghost prostate watching carefully for the tells of Ghost reaching his orgasm. A puddel of pre cum is starting to form on Ghost abs and when Sopa sees that Ghost thighs are starting to trembel again he pulls his finger out. "No, dont stop", Ghost screams angry and despreate. "I dont know", Soap say before pushing 2 fingers back in. Focusing more on stretching Ghost out this time. Having to use his free hand to pin Ghost hips down so he can't change the angels to get what he wants. "Soap", Ghost complains, not happy with getting denialed hos orgasm twice. Soap pulls his fingers out because the timer is getting off. Ghost flinches when Soap is removing the blindfold from his face, having to blink a few times to getting used to the light. "Can you get your hands anove your head?" Soap ask before placing several kiss over Ghost chest. He than lays the fabric over Ghost wrist. Ghost shivers understanding that Soap asking him to keep his hand there. "That's okey?" Soap ask. "Yes." Soap smiles at him before getting up the bed to get out of his own pants. He then reaches for a box from the instide of his nightstand throwing it on the bed. Ghost wants to ask about the box but Soap is preventing him from this with kissing him.

After Soap gets out of his pants and boxers he holds up the condom in a silent question. Ghost moans knowing he would not survive the use of a nobbed condom right now and Soap takes this as a yes ripping the foil open. Soap looks a bit sceptical while lubing his cock up. He puts a pillow under Ghost hips and has firm grip on his hips. He pushes in asking himself if this condom really is this special, but the despreate moan he gets tell him Ghost loves it. And Soap is fucking Ghost slow and deep. Ghost cant do anything but take it screaming in pleasure, feeling how his brain is mealting. The overstimulation is getting uncomfortable and suddely Soap is reaching for this box. "Soap, please if this is a cock ring, I can't, please. I was good, i was so good today", Ghost start begging in a panic, knowing he would hveto tap out if it was a cock ring. Soap smiles at him and just pulls out a piece of dark green leather. And Ghost needs a moment before he understands what Soap is holding in his hand. A collar, Soap got a collar for him. "When?", he ask confused they spend the last days together no time for Soap to buy and get one and he for sure didn'tbougt it so close to the base. "Ask my sister", Soap explains before continue to fuck Ghost slow. "Soap, please, let me come, please, please", Ghost begs. "Mhm, I dont know Simon. I think you can take a bit more." "I cant, please." Tears are filling Ghost vision. "You can, because you are my good boy arent you?" "Yes, yes Im your good boy", Ghost confirms, squirming, trashing his head to the sites. "Want my collar, so everyone now you are mine?", Soap ask trusting deep in to Ghost making the normally colected man whale in pleasure feelinghow hes also getting close. "Yes." "I think you can do better then just a yes." Another deep trust and Ghost is screaming. "Please Johnny, please I.. give me your collar. I want everyone to know, know i belong to you", Ghost begs barely abel to contain I love you. Soap pulls fully out making Ghost whine. "No, Soap, no please I need your cock, please I was so good, please", Ghost sobs a new stream of tears running down his face. "Shh, I know", Soap says before his hands are sothing Ghost. Hands moving areful up Ghost sites, placing kisses on his legs slowly pulling them both from the edge. When Ghost breathing is normalising Soap pulls him up in a sitting position.

"Taking everythink so well. I will fill you up very nice with my cum later, but first let me put this on to you." The cold leather is helping Ghost ground himself, but he dont think he can take that much more. "Soap, please no more edgeing", Ghost says with teary voice while Soap is making sure that the collar is not to thight. Getting s peck on his coner of his mouth. "Fuck" Soap moans when he leans back to look at Ghost. "So pretty in nothing but my collar, fucking gorgouse." Ghost keens at the prasie, before he is confused why Soap is leaving the room. "Soap?", he shouts after the Scot. Soap just retunrs with out the condom and a bottel of water. Honestely Soap needs the break himself, just as much as Ghost. Ghost drinks half the bottel in 3 big gulps before offering the bottel to Soap who drinks the rest. Soap pulls a Ghost closer with the collar to kiss him. They just made out for a while their hands are roaming ove each others bodies. Till Ghost reaches for the lube bottel, lubeing Soap cock up. "On your hands and knees", Soap says and Ghost is shivering. And Soap is starting to finger Ghost again. "Soap!", Ghost complains while looking over his shoulder. "Just wanted to make sure your still streched", Soap explains before he moves Ghost hips to his liking. He honestly isn't sure if he could Ghost that much longer without cumming.

"If it gets to much touch the head board, okey", Soap says. "Okey." An Soap sets a brutal pace. The only sounds in the room are Ghost moans and skin slapping against skin. Ghost can fell how his arms are struggeling to suport him and after a hard trust his face is hitting the pillow. He trys to push himself up again but Soap is removing one of the hands from Ghost hips to press his face in the pillow. Ghost is drolling on the pillow, geting impossibel turned on by Soap dominating him like this. Ghost moves his hands to the pillow clawing in to it. All he can do is take it, take what Soap is giving him, knowing his will feel this for the next few days. Suddenly Soap is pulling his head up, clearly displeased that he can't hear the noices hes fucking out of Ghost. "Taking me so good Simon, like your made for me to fuck into you." "Yes." "Do the others fuck you this good?" "No, nobody fucks me so good." Somehow Soap is able to fuck harder in to Simon. Ghost is slowly lowering his head, making sure hes not muffeling his sounds with it. His voice is breaking when Soap is hitting his prostate, begging for Soap to not stop, begging him for more, begging for harded knowing that Sap is already fucking him as hard as possible, begging him to get filled up. When Soap is changing the angel to get somehow deeper it slips out of Ghost. "I love you", he moans Soap literally fucking the admision out of him. Soap is shortly interuping in the rythem by these 3 words. "Say it again", he orders wanting to hear it again. "I love you", Ghost screams while he drools on to the pillow. Soap is gone, cuming fucking his cum as deep in Ghost as he can. Ghost comes all over the sheets when he feels how Soap fills him up. They both just colapse, Soap on top of Ghost breathless and with a big smile on his face. "Soap, your crushing me", Ghost complains with a hoarse voice, after the the raims of his soul are back in his body. Soap just falls to the site pulling Ghost with him, not wanting to lose the skin contact. When Soap is a bit more awear of everythink his palces kisses on Ghost shoulders. "Soap?", Ghost ask a bit iritated. "Yes Sweatheart?" a low moan is leaving Ghost at the pet name. "Get your dick out of my ass." Soap laughs at this but pulls out. A mix of his semen and lube is leacky out of Ghost who is hissing at the overstimulation. Ghost is turning in Soaps arm, before pushing him on his back so he can rest his head on Soaps chest.

"You meant it?", Soap ask oddly insecure. Ghost sleepy brain needs a bit to catch on. "Yes." Ghost yawns his response fighting to ceep his eyes open. "Say it again", Soap wispers in his hair. "I love you", Ghost answers a big smile apearing on his face. "Did i fuck love into you?", Soap jokes and Ghost is lifting his head up so he can give a disaproving glare. Soap is chuckeling clearly thinking he said the most funny think. "No but how long you know?", Soap ask a lot more serious. Ghost is thinking about it, for quite sometime. "Like fully realised, when this blonde woman tried to get in your pants, but i think its a lot longer.", Ghost answers feeling how his throat is protesting him using his voice. "I dont think Im there yet, Simon." "Thats okey", Ghost croaxes out, his voice giving up on him from all the screaming. "I make you some tea, while you are in the shower", Soap says before picking up his boxers from the floor. Ghost stands for 30 secounds before two thinks are happening simultanioly. His leg just refuse to work and a big amount of cum and lube are leaking out of him, running down his legs. Soap returns back to the room because of the sound of something heavy hitting the floor. "Not only are you a fucking pillow princess, no also have to carry you to the bathroom huh", Soap ask looking proud of himself for causing state of Ghost. Ghost in order to reduce the use of his voice just shows Soap the middel finger. Soap is laughing before carrying Ghost in to the bathroom. Letting him in a bath because there is no chance of Ghost beeing able to stand in the shower. "No drowning while I'm in the kitchen, that's an order", Soap says after Ghost sits in the bath. After 20 minutes Soap is returning finding a very sleepy content Ghost enjoying his bath. Getting Ghost out of the bath is a bit arkward with Ghost legs still refusing to work properly but he can at least stand on shacky legs. It also didn't help that Soap lot focus for a bit when he sees how bruises are slowly forming on Ghost pale skin. They somehow get Ghost dressed in one of Soaps hoodies and a pair boxers, so they can cuddel on the couch. "Oh, I have another collar for you", Soap says suddenly. "What's wrong with the one I'm wearing?", Ghost ask iritated his voice still hoarse. "It's one for more day to day use, something more discreet." "Show me", Ghost says curious and Soap pulls out a silver necklace with a Soap bar pendant. Soap clearly a bit embarrassed by it. "She's ones over heared my callsign. Laught 20 minutes about it till I told her that there is no funny story behind it. I guess she rembered it when buying these for me", Soap explains sheepishly. Ghost just smiles at him before carefully removing the leather collar and replacing it with the silver necklace. "I like it", Ghost simply states with a sleepy, falling asleep shortly after in Soap arms. Soap just smile knowing it won't take long for him to say I love you back to Simon.

[toinfinitywinning]

this is get to know you time. the cringy name game at every camp in the world you do with toilet paper. enough.

Conversations and thoughts resembling the same level of random and incongruence of my Apple Music library. like Josh Groban is to Eminem: Mercy Me. a lot about everything that’s not a hashtag bc it just needs more attention.

Let the first (post) be first:

Hi. I’ve never done this before (like a seriously grown up blog on purpose. Just when just followed sad somewhat desperate poetry with a random live-laugh-love meme in there somewhere.) and Pitch Perfect.

BUT.

For 2 years I’ve had Long-Haul COVID. It’s a different kind of lonely

Thanks so much, amirite? —Gen-Z apologies if I didn’t use that jumbled acronym-word correctly.

It’s hard to keep up.

See? What am I talking about now and how did I get there…

Due to a very common symptom of LHC…

Again—hard to keep up. It’s there. Tho

And I have a lot of quirk so it’s possible I think you’ll “get” but are just nice not to tell me

BUT.

It’s already gone. Train left the Station yesterday.

Slipped on a penny.

Not Good. not even funny.

Teens with the gorgeous graffiti have to Go elsewhere. I’ve always been jealous of that kind talent.

Whole lot better than something else shiny thrown on the track and it’s derailed. There’s at least some innocence in a paint can.

WOW.

I have major attention and Brain Fog hurdles to conquer or shortly bypass. You might not be able to tell b/c of how My writing jumps around so infrequently.

Not true but still easier.

Mostly innocent and playful.

Sadly the attention part is this many years young.

Writing comes naturally. As it always has, strangely...

And why is healing so exhausting? Writing is therapeutic but My body says—can you not?

i know im not the only one asking that!

As if I have time for that too.

find a community of people suffering just as similarly and gain strength, tips and tricks.

Just, speak-screen edit my writing for me. Maybe a clarification fact-✔.

Just not wherever Tr*mp gets his.

Could be Truth Social. Monthly fee tho will cost you your Red Hat.

MYGAbad

Speaking I struggle with processing w/e skills I must have held onto.

BUT.

Since 2 years is quite. some. time.—I’ve shared many struggles and victories.

Like a Bell curve. Or a punk Domino falling then lining them up takes longer just to go down again in half the time. Repeat.

It’s very likely I Will try to talk about many things at once.

I really can’t help that. LOL.

Jury’s still out but I get most of my writing and miscellaneous musings from mom.

Dad can write the best, longest, and precious prayers and notes.

Almost delicately but like you KNOW he’s giving you a hug.

A Good mix tape’s paper Version.

Enter Run on sentences. Truly a stream by now.

Although my brain muscle is weak I’ve been encouraged by several people to Start a blog. Someday I’ll include the past 2 years of w/e pics are on other SocMed.

I can’t think of anything worse.

Yea, okay LOL.

Judgment free. Occasionally… like normal doses then have to work through that.

Mostly that’s because I knew nothing about anything before I opened My computer and started sharing My thoughts under zero context ridden or form at all.

More likely as well to offend and piss someone off. Well done you’re now one less friend popular. There’s an App for that tho-tracking people Who don’t like you.

Not sure where I’ll land with this. It may not land you either.

Because like a lot of us. Sometimes you don’t get to talk actually. No Room.

I like routine; that’s out. So it gets dull.

I’ve learned I hadn’t yet given myself the space to see all of things I can do sitting down.

But. By “given” I mean to say that perhaps I didn’t know it was there.

One Good thing I’ve gathered from this Hell.

Hell fresh by the Day! Never frozen.

So at that time and in this case of my life; sitting is fine.

Some of it isn’t too bad. The writing. You will find questionable punctuation. Run on sentences that I was running.

Relevance at all.

All around Confusion…altho connect the dots could have been seen as practice.

Or annoying even. I’d have no words.

I truly don’t set out to be funny. I could never do stand-up or improv. Or act.

Humor forced just takes and receives too much energy that might come off insincere.

Nothing on command.

Like Matt Perry’s brilliant improv wit it just doesn’t hit the same.

B/c it was scripted.

A syllabus for it Imagine.

The horn to jump off the swim block.

It’s when Life feels more scripted a lot of people close up.

That’s because you’re not in charge anymore. I’ve lost the Power.

Don’t prefer caring about whether someone likes me like I used to.

I believe you can snooze me for 30 days or say ‘I’m done w/ her’ and send Me to the cyberarchives.

Okay. Okay.

So—90% of the time I’m witty and sarcastic with a bit of cynicism, discomfort (for you), and pettifogging.

I write primarily about the questions of intersectionality.

How do things fit.

Let’s Fit it.

Until I figured out physics and calculus and basic math were behind a career in architecture and the classes I would have to take, I enjoyed taking things apart to make something else.

Not always pretty.

Could be Good what I took apart was the best thing we can’t see.

Like I’m writing questions but with wisdom not meaning to do that either,

A lot of people don’t like that. You do you! Baby.

I don’t mean to be at all harsh or hurtful. I try not to say that anything vainly.

I say it b/c a lot of what I’m writing is all of every piece of stream of consciousness tallied.

And it was a synapse connecting another.

Maybe that’s the creative part? The other side of My Brain is telling Me to ✔ on the other side so I’m like…crickets.

What I write is stream of consciousness, brutally honest and to some might be lightly offensive. In College writing this Way would’ve absolutely driven Me crazy.

Then life steps in and bonks u on the head with a newspaper but 15 years later returns the favor with an iPhone.

Or too blunt. And comes across as harsh. And that’s mostly because if I don’t have an emoji to match my real-life broken ღ I’m breaking up with you.

Self reflection: impulsive

I used to journal so much growing up.

When did I lose that innocence?

We can’t talk about folding paper into cranes and witchcraft finger fortune games anymore?

No more MASH?

Huh, maybe you weren’t born this Way. Ur Parents just drew circles nearest each other or your apple stem twist broke too soon and you want a partner whose name starts with P.

Very often I overshare. If you’re reading this this is not brand new information. No ability to say things simply. Think I’ve already. That can put me really vulnerable to more bitcoin hacks.

And then you need to figure out what bitcoin is. And whether Mario can collect coins as well in place of the hackers.

I’d say ask Tom Brady b/c of his investments but since retirement he’s been pretty deflated.

Mean people that mean to hurt.

First of all I feel sorry for you. Not in a poor you tho.

People Who hurt on purpose don’t often have any Way to vent or get a rise other than evoke feelings in and deflect toward a schoolmate.

Skip back to the part I tried talking about vulnerability. It truly is the invisible cloak and no one can see you but nothing makes sense still and you’ve only fixed what’s on the outside. Now you’re peeved AND cloaked.

At this conjunction junction next I’d suggest try shopping at Target opposed to Abercrombie then.

Feet in the water right above bankruptcy to see how things could be different only what…if?

Good ♧ seriously.

So there’s more grace given when you fall. When it’s not your month Day or even year!

Nobody is there for you!!

And My cloak is getting rained on.

Maybe gathering strength from falling will come a common sense with a 6th one but with seriously meaningful things I’ve learned and less hard knock’s Life for us.

The hard Way.

The bottom’s still there and it actually stinks stinks. Discouraging b/c there are two sides to the bottom of the cave full of stalagTITES and mites.

All the up’s and down’s. Right there. And the COVID-19 bat OMG!

You know you may not be able to fall any further further but once you’re up again you’re wondering whether you should get some cement to close that thing off.

Choose to live! But welcome to the real world—it sucks—ur gonna Love it.

Almost 4got. In the cave you dont always have to wait for Jesus to be resurrected if that metaphor comforts you but if change comes and it requires a whole new worm can of Life we already can’t handle that gets us outta the dank I don’t think we need to ask permission to the rights of that Bible passage.

BUT.

Until YOU are ready for change...

Forget it. At least you meant well. Someone can guide that horse to water but it stays pretty hydrated, so he says he’s Good. Promise. The only talking animal and it was Me Who got to hear it. More importantly, who’s gonna ☊? Care? There’s a country song finding out Who your Friends are. A lot stay lost and it’s not helpful all our Friends aren’t the same.

Missing a Good chance to find out if you’re in a similar predicament and that not always a bad thing.

At times I have literally had to be lifted off the floor.

I don’t do this at all for pity. As you read, My Pride is the biggest obstacle to let Go.

When you do?

The hard way through this.

I am angry and irritable for bouts. Sometimes I’m silly and invite karma punishments.

Go all Brimstone and every type fire and the Old Testament has nothing New-thinking and no one new to add to it. SMH. Nail a list on the wooden church door reading it is nearing endgame. Or, Just open your hotel drawer and tear out the back half.

So change then— If it were Me and it has been just not an actual hole I’d be outta there due to the spiders and crickets alone. Jiminy’s Cool.

If u can’t change and just stay a novice bunny hill—fine! Stay there. Build some confidence through experience.

And isn’t that another thing? Something specific motivates the fire under your (cuckoo!) and before you’d see the dark without any End of the tunnel and more importantly with the light aspect. All the sudden you care b/c what? It applies to you of course be selfish. Fascinating yet humbling.

Then there’s the ‘Why Me’ (?) phase? Not fully pitiful but just pretentious enough to resume the trailblaze. Bad attitude with a healthy dose of are we there yet and trying to Balance whether someone is saying …’they get it; you always feel bad’ so…KY Basketball banter? Ashamed accompanies too bc thing is a few times I did kind of scoff at phrases like I always feel bad. Like, here’s 2 Extra strength Tylenol.Alright, Ok, come test for Covid 1/29/22. It shouldn’t take going through something to empathize with or change but you could’ve listened for longer with a clear mind. Just cannot wrap your head around it and I think sometimes that’s okay. What’s next I’ll try so hard.

+ It’s 12:01am of 1/29/24 (so last night), you still can’t do math and/or struggle to add or subtract 12 so aren’t entirely sure its your sophomore year orientation, and you already surrender to what you didn’t want to get up for in the first place. Kind of silly u set the alarm! B/c Pain, confusion, Discomfort and a Deep loneliness that has very little to do with people awaits. That whole scenario is a disaster but look who’s standing and GOT. UP. period. 15 years ago that’s where I’d be. Just defeated.

THAT. Is enough some days. I say that to you struggling to believe the same but know Deep down.

Year 2 longhaul and youre wondering why there are anniversaries at all given about half are always sad or tragic. Evoking the worst on what could be the best. Might be something To think 2 minutes ago you’d ended your prayer to have a better Day. Of anything is true about everything happens for a reason I’d say having to chooose how to respond given you have the privilege at all to that just means were normal. B/c ill be honest I would not

I’m angry. WHAT is so complicated about your lack of Faith or belief prayer must go into an encrypted iCloud even the FBI can’t retrieve or interpret. Never had a chance! But I’ll add that it’s worth noting prayer doesn’t deal with its existence in transaction currencies..

Feel less Pain but feel more with it or stronger now. Or, just plain ‘ol numb. Similar to Addiction I suppose people get so used to being healthy one Way or another they don’t even notice better OR worse and no one is getting married.

Truth is.

Yea.

I’m in Hell, but I’m not on a ventilator. I’m not without relentless Support.

I still can smile but laugh just a bit before it hurts.

Something is always worse.

SomeONE is doing worse.

Somewhere and definitely rn.

I never knew I’d be dealing greed of perspective for this Long.

Something you’ll never find out about that changed your life’s trajectory where an explanation would have only confused things.

Then we still have the chance to be astonished and then genuine bc of that. Thankful. Expectant. With Faith somehow. Maybe carrying someone else’s Hope for a while might burden you less for a short time.

You dont need to see eye struggle and suffering. You dont need examples. You just know. There’s a fleeting peace u might not see again for 2 days but in knowing it’s not just you with the same bs going on.

Like here. Here is someone who needs support but in a different Way but how unique it could be to trade just for a bit. It’s not leg day this time remember u agreed a temp trade.

We don’t have to know everything. Most of the time I don’t give God the time to keep up w/ Me let alone do anything miraculous before I just hang up.

Although My Life was headed in a completely renewed direction in so many ways of recovery—

I got sick. Not because it was meant to be.

Because COVID. Possibly a rabid bat. Cracked vile or petri-dish

Everything does not happen for a reason and ppl dont like hearing that bc its an easy out. Says time might go on but this thorn wont ever heal. How do we respond? that’s the most authentic and a strength yes or no wand.

I hate cliché. Thing is tho…I think we all hate it b/c it doesn’t hold us accountable. Eh it’s fine.

Unfortunately we wouldn’t have the pretty, surprise, one of the Walk to Remember walks. All up to the of healing and forgiveness individual to each of us.

If for Me that means ive healed all I can and I’m counting on research to help Me out some more maybe I just keep going. Trust Me nothing is forgotten but you do know now that at least you were strong and capable enough to figure all that at all. And—I can do that. Some days aren’t that kind.

Maybe it becomes a goal we never anticipated but ✔ your resilience at the ticket line and saddle up, honey.this donkey only holds ____ lbs. let some things Go. That thing will still only walk in a circle but you’ve evenly distributed your baggage.

The feeling of pure joy. Which btw does still require a thesaurus b/c it is NOT the same as joy. Like a preventative Med to an acute one.

Then feel Accomplishment.

Not knowing what’s next but trying to be prepared.

It’s a surprise party we never RSVP’d and don’t regret it.

And it’s a Good thing u got outbid for that yacht.

Hell, tho, you won’t be forgotten but pushing helps the donkey move faster for now that is acceptable.

Unshun. Reshun. (This will make sense if you Watch the Office)

Flee fly. Be gone. Thankfully we hope to come out more resilient after the rip and tear and often not fully repaired sewing lessons.

But perhaps the biggest trait I’ve had to work on is My Pride. I want to do it.

I’ll give myself 3 strikes. 4 balls.

Then I walk to First.

Please do not get Me a gift.

I Love you and that was so sweet.

Would I be as generous?

Do u work, yea. It’s just one really hurts more and being tough isn’t tough at all if it’s not helping the worst hurt.

Those are sitting down, timeout thoughts.

The compression socks need to breathe.

But once the Pride slides over, let go, I get to know how it feels to very tangibly be taken care of and watched over.

Patience. The other side of a rant.

Later on that.

My main goal is to learn. Connect. Be called out if something comes off really tasteless.

Laugh at things that don’t have anything to do with being chronically sick. Laugh about what Medicine u had to administer and royally failed.

Sometimes all coupled with a handicap car-tag. No crutches either b/c I don’t like hearing I Will get better. It is a nice statement but it is impossible to be sure. Ive struggled with that b/c I know everyone believes that and means well I’ve just taken prior sick Gentry’s generalization and multiplied.

I am not making light. I think part of me is using the sarcasm as a coping mechanism.

Praise God there is something that does help the pain or at least distract from that Pain just not the one in your legs.

A codependency just a bit less severe. Embarrassing. Reason for judgment. Too easy.

If you can believe it—-I am not the same person I was 2 years ago.

For now I truly don’t know how. Pain can leave, anything traumatic can be worked on. You’ve got your scars.

I actually really think a scar is just unique as a snowflake or fingerprint. Telling so many stories. B/c a scar does mean something has healed. And it never forgets at one time it was painful. I’d prefer to see what I accomplish but I see wonder and beauty in them.

Things get pretty deep, complicated and downright pitifully sad. Vulnerable. Frighteningly true and relevant.

So I take what Good I can get in that day and pray those with LHC (Long-Haul COVID-19)

Be released.

However. On the flip tail’s side.

I’m 35 years aware there are some people who just don’t like me.

Until recently I wouldn’t have meant ‘sorry not sorry.’

I do now. To a respectable extent.

Reader discretion is advised. I promise I never set out to hurt anyone.

definitely not on purpose.

Because. Idgaf. Not bars being held. Que sera, sera.

complete transparency and seriously tho this doesn't mean i dont care. i wear my heart on my sleeve like a ding-dong ready to get hurt.

call it a diversion. we were on a break.

i just might take all of whatever hits wrong and turn that in to whatever ounce of assurance I can with the openness and to the best capability to learn new things and grow with compassion.

And back to writing—may already be just engrained but I don’t ever have a thesis, 3 supporting ideas or a better word then a conclusion.

You might find yourself confused. Reading it again prob won’t help.

Some will be really bad. Ugly. Waste of time. it was at least therapeutic for me.

Already is.

Even more might not make sense.

Read at your own risk, basically.

I have confidence but not really. Just enough not to care to change.

But I think about it. Because I’m wrong a lot.

challenge me. ill try to get through the fog.

But a lot of things have changed. in ways i might not even know Beauty in the Mess.

To sum up the above (sorry, there won’t be another summary after this disclaimer’s commercial intermission.)

I want to be as positive as possible.

Be in control of what I can. Ask for help for what I cannot.

I’m so ready to get My Life back. Trust Me and trust anyone Who tells your theyre in constant pain.

Really embarrassing I used to kind of scoff and be empathetic.

Funny how youre so sure of things.

Until it happens to you.

Suddenly it’s back to the drawing board and humility.

I wear my ღ on my sleeve. My greatest superpower and kryptonite.

What you read is as close to what you get as possible.

Balance can be unfair.

Please know that I care. I try harder than I ever had before. There are things I didn’t even Imagine could happen to someone when sick.

In all the ways I want to come out of this even better than what I envy I was entering into when I got sick.

There will be a WIDE range of thoughts similar to how i write. Mostly Sports and public figures and the politics I can comprehend.

B/c I know there’s someone out there who’s homeless because of this diagnosis. Or was deadly. Fired.

Divorced.

Ive become a bit of a nerd. Childish in some ways b/c you have to be creative…to be creative.

How do I even Start philosophizing that? So I don’t.

So I try My best to be the best I can. Inspire. Elicit laughter and new ways of thinking.

Questions.

Really tho? I just wanna be me.

thank you so sincerly to anything fromn a meme to a gift to a hug a prayer a smile, company, vibes if they can travel

but most of all

for holding hope when ive not been strong enough to.

For better or worse

for loving me.

making me feel heard.

idk what tomorrow holds but if its the same as today ill know at least i can make it and i am still beyond blessed and cared for and loved unconditionally.

even if forever.

wanna feel free, free.

to be me unabandoned.

changed for the better without knowing it.

some people dont have that option.

or even less the resource or safety to write about it.

Lastly mostly—I’m thankful for Insurance and the ability and privilege to work from home. And. Still have a job in general.

A Family and Family reserves holding me.

gentry.gonna.gents/g3

next. and if you made it this far, bless you.

thank you.

you mean more than you know to me. to anyone miscellaneous thanks as well and to my family and extended family and friends and job and insurance.

im in better shape than a lot. perspective sucks in the throes. selfish not selfish but my gosh turn the lights off. each journey is sooo different, but idk find the goodness and inspiration inbtw. There will be a rainbow soon enough, I wont make the bold claim and promise you one tho,

semi lastly and vulnerably, we've all been hurt. all going through something.

I say this every time something really bad happens. Ya know the ‘this is even worse,’ talk.

This one holds every candle.

Funny not funny none are the same and you’re never fully prepared.

and no one knows what it is you’re dealing.

give grace when I can’t sometimes.

cliché’s be damned lets just golden rule it b/c that one’s hard to do too but it sounds cute and Idont see a periodic table saying A! U! Be nice and welcoming.

I know I’ve forgotten something.

So I’ll fight.

But I still get to complain.

Feeling so entitled to this ill.

Sincerely,

Gentry

no ps you're welcome

[nrdmssgs]

Your reminder to be self-indulgent

This blog is not my first experience in writing. However, this one is the first, where I deliberately stay as self-indulgent as I can. Even, if it seems cringy, even if there are people out there with other preferences and perspectives on my favorite characters. This was my personal goal, and today I've found the reason behind it, a real one.

A bit of backstory. Some time ago I've moved to another country. The last months before moving were crazy: there was a shit ton of packing, paperwork, organizational work, stresses and so forth. I knew, Im not going back. What I didn't know was that life would turn out in such a way that with a high probability I would not visit my hometown in the next 10-15 years (maybe longer). Sadly, I didn't have a chance to say a proper goodbye to my hometown. I wish I could just have a free day to roam around familiar places: to sit on a bench, where I had my first ever kiss, to visit my school and university, to walk in park, where I shared my first ever beer with a friend, to look into the courtyard of the house where I spent the first years of my life, maybe to take some photos, so that I have something, reminding me of those places. But it is what it is, and sometimes you don't have any free time during a few months.

This night I had a very comforting dream. I was once again in my hometown. There is a cinema theater in the very center of our city. It is a huge building with a massive concrete canopy (so massive, you can actually walk on it). Although you are not allowed to climb there - there was a way to do it and 20 years ago that area was not strictly supervised, so I've done that in my school years with my friends. So I see that canopy, remember the good old days, climb and walk along there. Then I hear someones voice. "You ok there? Need help with coming down?". I look down on a guy. Never met him before, but his face looks somewhat familiar. He looks up on me with confused eyes, yet a wide happy grin. Such a sunshine of human being. Obviously a tourist, not familiar with this place. "Nah, m fine, just hanging out here." But I climb down just to not let the guy down and ruin his day. "See? it's quite easy, if you know, where to climb." I start walking away, but he follows me and asks if I could show him any cool places around. "Only if you have a few hours, mate. Im planning quite a journey around my hometown." But this doesnt lessen his enthusiasm, he is quite happy to just hang out and see whatever I have to show him. And for the first time I dont care, that he is a tourist and I have to show him some museum/palace/fontain. I just... go through all those places, Ive originally wanted to say goodbye to, when I was leaving, not caring, he could find them insignificant. I dont tell him the real reason behind every place, we visit. Instead, I just joke around, I whistle my favorite songs, I feel free to yell at the driver who almost ran over us in the alley, and I treat my new friend with sweets that he can only taste there. And he encourages whatever I do, just lets me have a good time and is genuinely happy to be around. We visit many places I miss dearly.

I woke up today with my cheeks wet with tears of joy. This happened like 2-3 times in my life. Im just so happy, I've finally revisited all those places and by my side was someone, who just let me be myself. And only later, when brushing my teeth, Ive remembered the face of that guy. "Wait a minute, it was you all the time?" It was so funny, I didnt recognize him in my dream.

So how is this little story connected to self-indulgence? I believe, that by tinkering a safe space for yourself with your favourite characters and interesting for you personally stories, by revisiting this space on a weekly basis, you train your brain to always make some place for comfort. A place, where you can express your feelings and worries freely (even if this place is your own dream). Of course, I`m not encouraging anyone to replace professional help with fanfiction. But I think, this works really well as one of many-many instruments to maintain some peace of mind. So please consider this as your reminder to stay self-indulgent. It helps, it heals.

Oh, and regarding a guy from my dream? Yep, him.

[dragonmuse]

All of your wips sound interesting, but im curious about exile is full?

sadly it's the one most likely to be dead in the water. I started it far before S2 of OFMD aired as a potential space AU where Izzy is an android. Since it'll never see the light of day now, I'll just post all I had of it which wasn't very much.

“Drop it,” Jim growled in his ear, and the cool slide of codestick pressed into his arm port. 

A data dump filled his sensors, sending a cascade of information through him. He dropped his hand off the hilt of the whip-blade. 

The code injection was a burrower, furious and fast. Izzy tracked it, calculations cascading through him. 

“I’ve got a remote,” they went on. “I hit the button and it's a catastrophic failure for every single one of your systems.” 

“What do you want?” He asked without much feeling. It was easier to resort to the flatness of default space in these moments. 

“You’re taking us to the life support pod and you’re piloting us out of the defense systems.” 

“And then?”

Their breath registered as a hair too fast in his ear, their heart rate accelerated. To other humans, Jim would look calm and collected. To Izzy, they were falling apart at the seams. 

“You don't get to know that yet. Move!”

Calculations on calculations until resolution floated up. Picoseconds in suspended silence, the way the world had to slow and shift until all was reconciled, it was a horrible suspension of reality that no one else could perceive. Even Ed didn’t really understand it, the way Izzy’s computations took him out of time. How much longer was his life than the meatsuited people all around him? Not just in the hours that he didn’t waste eating or sleeping, but in how they experienced lived time? 

He thought about that as he walked down the elegantly arched hallways of the commandeered Revenge. These moments that hinged on a breath, on a thought, on a dream, and to him were just a practical succession of logic. 

Frenchie was behind Jim and while he twitched and made tiny comments, his heartbeat was far more regular. Maybe after weeks under the Kraken’s rule, he was too tired to be afraid. 

As they got close, Izzy reached out and thumped the wall twice with the heel of his hand, making it look like he’d stumbled. That never would’ve worked before. 

Before what Ed had. 

Well. It worked now. 

“Watch it,” Jim snarled, not alarmed by the fumble. 

The life support pod was a standard issue, not any fancier than one would find on any ship. It was as if Bonnet’s wild imagination had reached this point then stopped dead, balking at confronting the stark reality of survival. That figured. It worked in Izzy’s favor for now, sliding into the pilot’s seat. The controls of a pod were simplified in case of emergency evacuation, but he overrode them.

They would need to fly carefully to evade the security measures. Izzy wouldn’t leave the Revenge and Ed by extension unprotected. He couldn’t. In theory. 

The pod had room for five, including the pilot. Small enough to maneuver. 

“Go already!” Jim barked. 

Izzy flicked switches and turned dials that didn’t need turning. 

“This better not be another false alarm,” a new voice spoke and Jim’s vibro-blade illuminated the cabin. 

“Lucius!” Frenchie got to his feet. 

“Yeah, mostly.” 

“Strap in,” Izzy barked. 

There was no time for a heartfelt reunion. As soon as the pod disengaged, a notification would chime would be ringing in Ed’s ear.  A belt clicked.  Izzy dropped most of his consciousness straight into the pod. He flew with every ounce of attention he could spare, maneuvering around traps he’d set himself and ones that Ed had seeded in the terrible days after...after.  

He didn’t stop when they were free of the immediate field, he kept the pod pushing at its maximum speed. It wasn’t until they were entirely out of short-range sensors detection area that he risked plugging back into his own sensor arrays, drawing himself into the body partially. 

“I didn’t tell you where to go!” Jim barked. 

“You told me to get away and we did,” he snapped.  “If you have a heading, now’s the time.” 

“The asteroid belt, we can lose them there.” 

“And lose all your lives,” Izzy scoffed. “Are you out of your mind? This isn’t a quick-flick, people die doing that shit.” 

“You could do it,” Jim said, holding out the remote and waving it at him. “You will do it.”

[rrxnjun]

I know you don't do sequels but what do you think would have happened with Renjun and the main character in "when nobody's watching", I obviously think they got together and had a relationship and Renjun lived happily ever after jsjsj, but I don't know if you have a more elaborate answer or maybe a key destiny in your mind.

Another couple I'm curious about is Yangyang and her main character in "Im not angry anymore" from Jeno's fic I guess they did have something but I don't know if you have anything else to say about them.

pd: Go back to write something about Renjun or Yangyang or the 00 line, tumblr is a desert and I don't have fanfics of them :c ily

I really like making open endings so the readers can imagine how the story played out afterwards and what happened that i didnt decide to show in my story, but dear anon, if you really dont mind and want to hear my take on those universes, here is what i imagine happened 🌞

in when nobody's watching, renjun and the reader get closer and explore each others personalities, really discovering how it feels to have a friend that you can share everything about yourself with and not feel judged. I think after all renjun went through, he is trying to heal, which can sometimes cause him a lot of insecurity, but the reader is always patient and understanding with him. Obviously, i am a lovesick fool and i imagine those two ending up together, but that comes after a longer time of feeling comfortable in each other's presence and also the reader deidolizing the boy she's been pining over for years and realizing he isnt perfect and dreamy, but is a person just like anybody else - and still loving that version of him anyways.

when it comes to i'm not angry anymore (well, sometimes i am), you can see that its a little more complicated. Yangyang is very obviously a safe place for the reader. after having her heart broken by jeno, it takes her a while to get over it, and although she always has yangyang by her side, its a little hard for the boy to come terms with the fact that he was never the first choice for her. However, the two can't deny their growing chemistry that comes with hanging out together and the more the reader forgets jeno, the more she feels at ease thinking that maybe, maybe she could have something with yangyang that is worth exploring. and as we saw in i'm not bitter anymore (i'm syrupy sweet), the two of them are discovering a playful, but very deep connection that definitely blooms into something more <3 they were always destined to get together, it was just wrong timing for them at first!

ahhh dear anon i would love to write more for the 00 line :c i am a busy university student, however, so i must admit that i no longer write as often as i would like to, since dorm life is busy and assignemnts are kicking my ass 💔💔 the time and energy i have left for writing is now reserved for my current kpop ult and that is sadly not nct anymore, but is tbz (follow me on @sohnric plug plug) 😭😭 i do however have a mark wip that i really wanna write soon and also i need to finish that jeno entry for my simplify romance series 🤧 whenever i get over my current kpop hyperfixation i do always come back to nct tho, so dont you worry, my journey is not over with them for sure and i will write something for them again one day <3

[minimitchell]

am i the only one that thinks the pr thing has been over dramatic?? and the reaction to it.

yes callum should be involved more but thats the writers fault, callums character is quite constrained and his job doesnt help either (long hours away. police station not situated on the square)

but callum being referred to dad 3 makes sense as dad 1 is ben her biological dad , dad 2 is jay as hes been on the square longer than callum and knows lola etc. even lexi has acknowledged callum. no one has brushed him away

at the end of the day no matter who is in charge of lexi, ben wont keep her away from jay and jay wont keep her away from ben. they can all see each other and jay is currently living w/ben

i dont know how to feel with people calling ee homophobic, im a gay dude and i really see nothing homophobic happening but maybe im missing something??? if ee was homophobic then ben and callum would have never happened, they would have broken them up for good during xmas in 2019.

idk i just feel like people need to take a breather regarding this.

i agree to some degree. i think the optics of the entire pr sl are really questionable and it does have the unfortunate aftertaste that gay parents are somehow seen as less. i think ee generally doesn’t treat their lgbti+ characters the best, regardless of this sl. many aspects have homophobic undertones whether they intend it or not, same with biphobic undertones (reiss comments that were played for laughs) and lesbophobia (treatment of lesbian characters). they aren’t homophobic for this sl, they convey phobic messages in general. people are just louder rn because ballum are affected by this.

on the other hand i agree that this entire sl and discussion has been inflated artificially by the fandom. callum’s absence, albeit annoying and infuriating in parts, is sadly necessary for the story to work and reach a boiling point. same with billy’s absence in this sl by the way. it’s not some elaborate conspiracy to get rid of ballum or tony. callum’s obviously set up to be involved in the six sl and he’s on as many eps as suki is, yet no one would say she’s being phased out. some parts of the fandom have become too emotionally invested and convinced of this narrative that no positive aspect of this story or any logical explanation is being considered anymore. it’s become a very toxic negativity in parts.

it has also unfortunately led to the fact that ben and his ed have once again become the less discussed part of his own storyline. last year, some people in the fandom were so vocal in their narrative that discussion around the r*pe sl became almost entirely about callum and when he would find out (ee was called homophobic then too, remember) to the point where a website was made to count down to it. it overshadowed ben’s development (good and bad) completely and the same is being done to the ed sl right now. sorry but i think the focus this week should be on ben and his breakdown and eventual recovery, something we’ve been asking for for years. it simply isn’t and shouldn’t be about callum right now.

[spindash]

Ok yesterday afternoon finn and richie were looking out my window as usual and i got up to make a snack for me and my little brother and suddenly finn ran into the kitchen with a fucking chipmunk in his mouth and im like FINN what the fuck and i made him spit it out and it ran under the fridge and i realized Oh No theres only one way he could have gotten a chipmunk. and so i went to look and yes richie had knocked the screen out of my window i knew it was him becuz hes done it in my moms room before. becuz he goes crazy stupid for chipmunks. and richie was no longer in my room so i told my little brother please try to get the chipmunk out from under the fridge im going to look for my stupid cat and LUCKILY!! this time i found him like right away he was just sitting in the space between our house and the shed meowing soo sadly becuz he hates being outside. anyway back inside no luck getting the chipmunk so i say fine fuck it theres three cats surrounding the fridge maybe one of them will get it so me and my little brother go play the wii in my room for a couple hours. except i keep forgetting our cats mostly suck at catching creatures so it was still under there. i tried scaring it out which worked but then it was just running around under the couches and i was like oh my god theres just going to be a chipmunk in the house forever now. but i finally decided to lock the cats in my parents room and open the front door and the chipmunk like immediately ran outside which thankgod becuz my parents came home just a few minutes later. Btw this was my moms first day back to work in months so she leaves us alone for 9 hours and i let one of the cats escape and a little beast breaks into our house. anyway all of this is just to say both cats are looking out my window again their favorite activity and i take a peak and well there is a little chair outside my window from the last time my cat got out i thought he might want to hop up there and scratch at my window just in case. and guess what is sitting on the chair staring at my cats. FUCKING CHIPMUNK!!! AGAIN!!!! almost believe it was the same one just there to be a cunt. never been so mad to see a chipmunk in my whole life