#im just tired. its tiring. everything is. its so painful to think where i could be if everything wasnt so hard always...

[monsterbisexual]

bleh x__x

[milkandraspberry]

[celestialmancer]

⛈️ ❌ ❌ ❌ // 2:09 am, tbd ;

[syxilla]

If requests is still up then - Can you please do a kenji sato x best friend/ extrovert x introvert relationship. Where kenji likes showing off , reader is reserved. And like a balanced relation?!🙏

Kenji x !introverted bestfriend reader

my requests are open dw! actually this is my first ever ask, so idrk how i'll do- but i think i got what u wanted correctly? (pls tell me if im wrong) also, as usual i dont proof read so mind my mistakes! (Ｔ▽Ｔ)

cw: ken sato x gender neutral reader, relatively sfw, introverted reader, (pre-relationship) best friend reader, reader is a pessimist, ken is aggresively kind (kinda)

-bestfriend! kenji who aggresively shakes you while holding your arm. "y/n!" kenji yells excitedly, this made you drop your book, bending its pages. "oh my- what do you want ji?" you grumbled, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down. "you~" he flirted while smirking.

-bestfriend! kenji who gets a flick in the middle of his forehead. "you made me drop my book." who'd rub the spot with a pout playing on his lips. "that hurttt" he whined. "and what do you want me to do about it?" youd query, picking up your book tryying to find the page. "a kiss to make the pain go away?"hed smile.

-bestfriend! kenji who's smile would grow wider once he felt your soft lift press against his head briefly. "thank you!" hed drag out before swinging an arm pver your shoulder to bring you closer. you know, regular friend things.

-bestfriend! kenji who always forces you out of your comfort zone by dragging you to events such as concerts, parades, festivals and most recently the movies. the movies where hed buy everything for you both, eat an absurd amount of snacks you both knew would make his tummy hurt and yet he still did. putting on a mask to not draw any unwanted attention to you both. forcing you to watch horror movies with him that had an excessive amount of blood and nightmare fuel, making you cling onto his arm whenever itd make you jump. not that he minded. of course he wouldnt mind, he never did when it was you.

-bestfriend! kenji who'd rent out the entire theater if you really didnt want to interact with anyone. youd always try to discourag him from doing so, saying he shouldnt spend a lot of money on you, but he always says its fine. he loves to show off his wealth to you, and he also loves to spoil you. buyinng you gifts and practically anything you wanted. just say the word and youll have it. perks of having rich baseball players as a (sadly) best friend.

-bestfriend! kenji who'd drag you into various fancy stores that someone of your working class would have no idea about just so you could rate the things hed grab. "does this shirt look good on me?" hed ask, as if he could look bad in anything. and youd nod, a slight warmness in your cheeks when youd watch him change in and out of each shirt. trying your best to not stare.

-bestfriend! kenji who'd lay his head on yours or on your shoulder after a tiring game. only wanting to sleep. and you didnt mind, just ruffling his hair and enjoying the company of your friend. all while ignoring the little voices in your friend that were desperately trying to change the word friend into something else.

-bestfriend! kenji who promises to always be by your side in larger crowds. tuggling you close enough so that you felt the warmth generating off of his body. you especially liked this warmth during the winter, he was like your own personal fireplce wrapped in a ball of cuteness and a ribbon of sarcasm.

-bestfriend! kenji who you may or may not have feelings for. the same kenji who just asked you out on a date.

(i hope i didnt dissapoint, ty again for submitting an ask, i hope i did u justice!)

[sushis-wild-imagination]

SVT How they calm you down when you’re crying (All members)

Seventeen Masterlist (more preferences/short fics) Im open to requests! Genre: Fluff fluff, tooth rotting fluff

→Choi Seungcheol

You had been feeling out of sorts for a month now, the doctors could tell you nothing of substance that could change the way you’re feeling other than the fact that it’ll pass, you’ve just got to pull through it.

But the thoughts in your head soon bottled up to anxiety and you couldn’t sit with it anymore. You freaked yourself out too much. You had an full body check up tomorrow, just for a check up to rule out something bigger. The possibility of them finding something fatal worried you to a point where tears streamed down your face without you realising.

You ended up going into the living room where your boyfriend was. Without showing your face or letting him find out you were crying, you climb into his lap. All attempts of sneaking went to vain, he immediately knew something was wrong.

“Are you okay?”

That’s all it took for you to shake and sob out of fear. He looked ready to fight someone. If only he could fight an MRI machine. You somehow tell him you were terrified of this scanning.

He did exactly what you wanted and held you close like a baby, occasionally kissing your head with reassuring words.

→Yoon Jeonghan

You walked home very dejected and sad about your day at work today. You had this wall breaking idea for a campaign, that a senior pretty much stole credit for and you instead got accused of not contributing your ideas to the team.

It was frustrating because you couldn’t call out this senior nor could you defend yourself. Just a shitty shitty day.

You felt like you were holding yourself together until you could get home to let go. All day you were just waiting.

You finally got home and Yoon Jeonghan, your fiance, opens the door. You slowly walk towards him looking tired and frustrated, a hug is all you needed to let go.

“Whats wrong?” He asked softly rubbing the back of your head.

You tell him all that happened, vent out every frustration in tears.

“Do you want to plot a revenge plan? That ought to make you feel better” he says looking the most mischievous looking gremlin he has. It makes you chuckle. He really can fix anything.

→Hong Joshua

‘I regret to inform you that, after careful and thorough consideration’

You slam the laptop close. Why were you so sad, this university is not even your first preference. It’s alright that you didn’t get in, you didn’t even want to go.

But if you don’t even get into your 4th preference school, how do you expect the better schools to accept you? This thought rallied you head for at least 10 minutes, while thoughts of your future education brought tears to your eyes.

You sit blank infront of your desk, feeling horrible looking at this email.

“Hey, I’m making some coffee, do you want-” Joshuas voice fades out when he sees you.

“Is everything alright?”

You shake your head, while he comes over to give you a hug. You hug his torso from your desk chair. You tell him whats wrong and also ask him for some space, he gladly gives you space when he knows you’re not crying anymore.

You sit alone with your thoughts for sometime, the tears had now dried up.

He had come back with some of your favourite flowers and your favourite subway order. He knew your comfort food and you couldn’t be more grateful to Joshua that day.

→Moon JunHui

There was a lingering empty feeling in your apartment and your heart.

You had rescued a kitten a month ago from a dumpster, all injured. You and your boyfriend Jun, decided to take care of it until its better and raise it together. You named her Layla.

Layla was the cutest cat, it pained you that she was abandoned. Many people thinks its okay to adopt an animal and just abandon it whenever it doesn’t suit them, its cruel.

Today you gave Layla up to a shelter to get adopted hopefully by a better family.

The separation only hit you once you got back home. There was no meowing in the background, there were no sounds of little footsteps in the apartment, it was all too quiet.

Before you know it you were crying and jun was right by your side, wiping your tears with the sleeves of his tee shirt.

“Do you want to adopt Layla instead?” He suggests. “We could do it together, we’ll figure something out”

You couldn’t be happier, you hugged Jun through your tears.

→Kwon Hoshi

He was leaving, for the 100th time. Goodbyes are always so tough with him. He was packing his suitcase to go back to his country, again. And who knows when we’ll see each other again.

Long distance was going to be the death of you.

“Do you have to go?” You ask again, as if the answer is miraculously going to change.

When he zips up his suitcase and props it up, seeing that is all it took for you to start crying about your goodbye in advance. All he could do was hug you, hold you, kiss you saying that you’ll see each other soon.

He sees some snot from all the crying you’ve been doing and immediately offers his hoodies sleeve to wipe it on, that makes you laugh as you scatter for a tissue. He’s adorable.

He lets you keep this tiger plushie he had got from his country as keepsake. Saying ‘we will see each other again’

You can not sleep without that tiger plushie anymore.

→Jeon Wonwoo

You had an image of adulthood and living alone. A lot of friends around you, partying almost everyday, doing something new all the time, hikes, midnight drives, late night snack runs without having to answer to anyone. This is what you thought living alone meant.

But boy were you so wrong. It’s lonely. You’ve always been a floater with friends and never really had one set of friends you could completely rely on. This picture perfect adulthood you dreamt of, needed good relationships. Relationships you found so hard to make.

Your boyfriend, also your only friend in the city, came over.

You ended up talking to him about how you felt, and subconsciously he suggested a walk. He held your hand through the walk until you felt better. You were grateful.

→Lee Jihoon

You needed to quit that job, everything about it was so toxic, the boss was a narcissist that made horrible jokes. You had mentioned you enjoyed F1 and he decided to quiz you infront of your colleagues on your knowledge of it because what girl can like a sport in the true sense. It was solely to put you down in front of people. everyone laughs along like it was a given that you couldn’t possibly know the sport.

You refused to answer and give in, but you were scared it came off as you not knowing the answer to the question.

You came back home feeling absolutely humiliated in front of your colleagues and it made you feel low to a point where tears had made an entrance.

Your boyfriend, calls you once you get home to check on your day, finds a crying girlfriend on facetime. He offers to cone to you but you decline. He didn’t have to come all the way. He just ended up comforting you with words. No wonder he writes songs. He has a way with sentences and metaphors.

You felt better after talking to him, almost instantly.

→Seo Myungho

You’ve been feeling worried and anxious all day, despite the fact that you’re spending an entire day with the love of your life, Minghao, something ate away at you. You heard news from mom that one of her cousins had passed. He was her age, you couldn’t imagine what it would’ve felt like for her.

You’ve had friends die and natural death at this young of an age had you rattled, you couldn’t help but feel for her.

After half a day of observing you, minghao finally asked you. “Is there something on your mind?”

You explain to him every passing thought you had, even ones that only stayed for a fraction of a second.

Hao held both your hands in his, and reassured you that you’re parents are going to be okay and with you for a long time. He validates your feelings, that’s the most important thing, he never denies that the fear is rational. You loved him for that. He cups your cheek and brushed off the rogue tear that escaped your eye.

He ends up buying the both of you ice cream so you feel better.

→Kim Mingyu

“You’re crying?”

isn’t it sad? You were watching this movie ‘walk to remember’ its about a religious girl who has cancer and a boy falls in love with her as her condition worsens. She eventually dies but they manage to marry before that happens.

You couldn’t help but imagine what it must feel like to be in love with someone knowing its going to shatter your heart into million pieces when it’s their time to leave. And loving someone despite that takes so much courage.

You explain all this to mingyu and he agrees while he passes you a box of tissues he had handy. He tucks your hair behind your ears taking a good look at your crying face.

“How does someone cry so much but you’re still adorable, its unfair” he changes subject and makes you chuckle.

→Lee Dokyeom

Watching a try not to cry video with Dokyeom should not have been a plan at all, but here you were, watching dying dogs have their last day at beach, soliders reuniting with family and little kids being the sweetest.

You were both crying a little, safe to say you both lost. You giggle when you make eye contact with each other. He pulls at his tee shirt to wipe your tears that makes you giggle more.

Everytime you cried, dokyeom made sure you laughed. He’d crack the lamest of jokes or pull a funny face, he was adorable.

→Boo Seungkwan

Seungkwan was in the kitchen making dinner when you found a hand written letter on your vanity. You and Seungkwan were on two different schedules at this point, you barely got to see your boyfriend. It was devastating, but each day you pull through, because you love each other.

The letter said all the sweetest things, reassuring you that the both of you were going strong and you’d find a way to be with each other against all tides. It was a promise he made on paper.

Little did you know, you had dropped some tears on the letter. You held up the letter walking into the kitchen, “I love you for this” you croak out between tears and a tight feeling in your throat.

He comes over to hug you, he rubs your back as he tells you he wouldn’t have done it if he knew it would’ve made you cry. It was tears of happiness.

He pecks your lips and wipes your tears with the back of his palm. “Lets eat something” he says and distracts you with food.

→Choi Vernon

You were checking your grades on your phone next to Vernon who was turning the tv on.

Your head was in his chest while you logged into your student account. You were delighted to see all A’s but one C. It didn’t make sense, you had studied so hard for it. How was the grade so low? Is it wrong? Did you misunderstand questions, it was one of your weaker subjects and you had studied so hard. It was a difficult subject.

Without you realising there were some tears in your eyes. You had given it your best, was your best not good enough? Were you not smart enough for the subject matter? All sorts of self doubt and questions come to mind as you stare at your phone.

He pats your head and says you can do better next time. He’s right, there’s always a next time. What’s an accomplishment if there’s no struggle.

→Lee Chan

You met Chan's friends for the first time tonight and you were nervous. You had decided to stick by Chan's side the whole time and try to be the most extroverted you can possibly be. Being an introvert this was a huge task for you to overcome. You just wanted his friends to like you.

You've always been an outcast in school and there was a deep seated insecurity in you about making new friends or being likeable enough.

His friends were the sweetest people and made you feel included in every conversation and even explained all the inside jokes to you. You were grateful. To your surprise you didn't have to stick to his side the whole night. You sighed of relief because you didn't want to burden Chan like that.

It was a fun party and you almost cried a little by the night ended and you were alone with Chan. It was as if you found your people and your inner child was healed.

"Did you like them?"

You nodded at Chan with your eyes a little wattery, you felt stupid crying about something so trivial. But he understood what it was really about.

———

Im open to requests!

[pixieskie]

˖˚˳⊹"i really do love you.. im sorry"˖˚˳⊹

-warnings: Angst, depress!on, su!c!dal thoughts, detachment, scars, body dysmorphia, disassociation, not proofread, chubby reader. -chars mentioned: Scaramouche -wc: 0.6k -a/n: i dont even know what to say.. Um this is .. something.. enjoy?

masterlist

as someone who felt every emotion more intense than others, it also meant feeling more sad. it should've been fine but you simply couldn't feel happy.. you have friends and family but still felt so lonely..

“helloooo” scaramouche waved his hand infront of your face to get your attention.

Suddenly looking up, you see him frowning at you. “what’re you thinking so hard about.. do you not wanna watch the movie?”

“sorry.. i just spaced out” you said embarrassed.. “just continue the movie, ill pay attention this time”.. Scara simply muttered a small ‘fine’ and resumed it.

Scaramouche is your best friend, the one you share everything with. But.. he could never understand the depth of your emotions.. The void you feel inside.. The aching loneliness that consumes you at every moment.

“Yes lets go to the beach!! itll be perf....”

“ooh i just bought a new bikini…..”

“wont it be too sunny? ill get tanne….”

you drowned out their conversation and thought of excuses to skip… you had no other choice.. a bikini wouldn't cover your scars, stretch marks or tummy fat.. it would be on display for everyone to see your insecurities and then they'd hate you.

“guys im sorry but i have to study this weekend.. exams are close”

“again? but didnt you say the same last week…”

“oh come on! itll be so fun…”

“ugh she does the same everytime…”

Ofcourse they wouldn't understand.. They had the perfect body..

The words were blurred as you tried to read them.. Nothing made sense to you anymore.. Your exams were near and you have to study but the words together don't make sense anymore..

Sighing, you went to splash some water on your face to wake yourself up. Looking up into the mirror, you saw failure.. Someone who cant study.. Someone who wouldnt be able to make a living..

You sat back down at your desk.. You can study and change your future right? its just a book..

But.. you cant make yourself read the words anymore.. you felt so tired..

Why cant you also be like others?.. Everyone else is so successful and perfect.. They have good grades, perfect body and happy lives..

You sat on the edge of the roof.. This used to be your hang out spot with Scara but eventually you both stopped meeting there.

“where the fuc- YOURE HERE?” Scara dramatically sighed, huffing. “Ive been searching all over for you. Come on, ive made dinner.. you have to eat something”

You chucked softly at his caring nature and nodded silently.. “Scara?” he was about to leave but turned back to look at you “yeah?”

“I love you”

He chuckled in confusion “yeah yeah i get it, i love you too. no need to get all sentimental with me, its just dinner.”

You turned back to the sky once he left. He probably went to your kitchen to fill a plate for you..

You smiled at the thought. He was the best person you could've asked for..

And it hurts. He cared for you so much but you couldn't appreciate it..

Leaving never had to be this painful.. But a tear fell down and you closed your eyes, recounting your memories..

There were so many happy moments you never got to enjoy.. Sad moments you stayed numb.. And the huge gap in your memory.. and nobody knew how you felt because you never let them.

‘Im so tired… Im so tired..” You looked at your feet, dangling off the roof.. ‘i hate this .. i dont wanna do this.. but theres nothing else to be done’

You took a deep breath in.. “i really do love you.. im sorry”...

…..

tags: @rubywonu @stygianoir @unsavoy-melon @kashiiwi @babbledabble25

[dinoace2]

I had a cute little story idea so you all must deal with my sappy ass

This one's just some sweet short astarion comfort fluff bc I need more of that in my life

(AFaB Tav, referred to as She/Her, mention of periods. 575 words)

~~~~~

They were more or less together at this point, mutual pining and spending all their time with one another, though neither said it aloud. Tav let him feed on her neck whenever he needed, though he would only do so if she offered first. This was rarely an issue, however, since she had a tendency to make this offer on a daily basis.

Lately, though, she hadn't. For the last several days, whenever the party retreated to their camp for some much-needed rest, Tav would immediately go straight to her tent and lay down.

Astarion paced outside of her tent, wondering whether or not to ask about it. Was she upset with him? Did he do something wrong? Was she finally fed up with him? No, no, that couldn't be it. Right?

After fighting with himself for a while, he slowly poked his head in, seeing Tav curled up around a pillow, her back to him. "Hello, darling...I just wanted to check in on you. Is everything alright?"

She paused, a low grumble in her throat. "...yeah. just been...I dunno...a bit extra tired. I'm okay."

That didn't sound okay. Tav was usually so strong, so energetic...this definitely wasn't normal.

He cleared his throat. "...does this, perhaps...have anything to do with my, ah...lack of feeding these last few days?" He paused, then shook his head quickly. "I-i would like to be clear, I'm not asking for it at the moment! I was simply...inquiring. Trying to gain an understanding, that's all." He chuckled. "Youre the one who always insists upon honesty and 'no more secrets', after all."

Tav paused then let out a long sigh, sitting up and giving the poor, strangled pillow a break. "...Sorry. I....its really rather silly...perhaps almost selfish..." she turned around, looking up at him from where she sat. "As much as I'd love to share right now, I've been losing enough blood as it is...im not sure it'd end well if I were to give up more."

Losing blood? His face paled, somehow more than usual. Was she injured? She didn't look hurt. He ransacked his memory to try and figure out when or where she could have taken such a hit, all the while looking her up and down for any physical signs of pain.

"I...oh dear...uh...if I may ask, what happened, darling? When did you get hurt? Did you fall? Did someone stab you? Who do I need to hunt down?"

Tav was quiet for a moment then let out a soft chuckle. "Im fine, Astarion...really, it's okay."

She...wasn't hurt? Then why was she...

...Oh.

Oh.

His cheeks flushed as bright as his eyes and he was quick to her side, pulling her into his arms. "Darling, why didn't you say so? I absolutely would have understood. You didn't have to hide that from me." He chuckled. "If anyone here knew a thing or two about blood, it would be me, don't you think?"

His comment drew a giggle from the tired warrior in his arms, and she snuggled up. "Thank you, Astarion."

The following days, the rest of the party noticed that Astarion was especially doting on Tav, (or at least more than usual,) being extra snuggly and, in some particular occasions, downright spoiling her. Despite her insistence that it wasn't a big deal, and he really didn't have to go so far, he was incredibly stubborn to ensure that his darling was as comfortable and happy as possible.

~~~~

Idk how to end it so

Thanks for reading! :]

[heartssatoru]

Hey! I love your HCs so far! If you do smut could you do JJK men wanting to have sex or are horny and how they go about asking you/initiating it? (Gojo, Megumi, Sukuna, and Itadori)

Yes of course! I know a lot of my readers request fluff so if you don't like smut im so sorry😭

Characters: gojo, megumi, sukuna, itadori

Warnings: smut smut smut!! Afab reader

I have a few request im working on, to all the others that requested! :)

Gojo

In public:

Starts off flirty but then becomes needy cause he's extremely horny

At a date

Slips up and tells you a dirty joke by accident. And does that little giggle

It maybe depends, because there's times where he thinks he can hold it but can't

Most of the time he hints it. If you don't get it then he'll say it shamelessly

Doesn't care if its in public or not. He just wants relief.

He kinda does care😭 but doesn't at the same time.

Bathroom, alley way, really whatever. Tries to make sure no ones really there though

Someone spots you two? Oh shit let him finish atleast

Tells you to just relax but it's extremely hard when his cock is pounding into you

If your hiding your moans then he'll make you either way. Cause that's just offensive to him

Will deny your organsm if you hide them too. So lesson learned

Megumi:

At home:

Tries to ignore it. But its too much to even ignore, wouldn't be surprised if you could notice

Prefers to hint because he feels embarrassed. No matter how much you tell him he doesn't need too.

You already know because that's always how he gets when he's horny

Doesn't want to risk being caught. And he always makes that clear.

Always at home no matter what. He can wait, maybe..

Excusing that, he skilled with his fingers, and always uses his fingers to prep you

He doesn't want to cause you pain. Really just pleasure for both of you.

Will be a little hard or deny your organsm if he's having a bad day. But still will let you cum

By the time he's done you guys will be fast asleep, but always makes sure you fall asleep first.

Sukuna

anywhere, literally doesn't care:

Will straight up tell you. Maybe if you don't take so long he'll actually be nice to you.

1% chance of that. But its better then nothing!

Will fuck you anywhere. Unlike gojo, he has nothing to worry about

Doesn't even care if anyone sees. They'll simply see how much of a slut you are for his cock

Said by him of course

Does it for his own pleasure, if he's feeling nice he'll let you cum

Also if you try and touch yourself then thats another reason why he shouldn't.

Abuses your poor cunt, especially with his size

Rough, but knows your limits. Maybe goes aganist them every one in awhile to see your fucked face

Cause it drives him near the edge even more.

Itadori

Feels guilty each time so he always tries to go on without anything

However if he's desperate will beg you to let him fuck you

Makes sure your comfortable and everything. Sweet as hell

But just because of that dont expect to not be teased

Will always let you cum though, unlike the others, besides megumi

Goes gentle, unless you want it hard he can do that. Just doesn't want to hurt you

Asks every once in awhile just to make sure your comfortable and everything

No matter how tired he is, will still try to clean you up afterwards

Gives you the best care. Would feel guilty once again, if he didn't

[stealingyourbones]

Hey Bones, I saw your thing about a Bat family member becoming a ghost and it reminded me of a very heart breaking au a friend and I came up with a while back that I don't remember if I submitted or not. Either way, be prepared to have your heart broken.

Tim is dead. He's been dead for a while actually. But No one seems to have noticed. He looks and feels just as solid as he did before he died, even if he's got a lower body temperature and doesn't seem to get hurt on patrol beyond bumps and bruises. Never anything that would land him in med Bay, never anything that would make his family check on him.

No one has noticed the way he doesn't eat anymore, or the fact he doesn't sleep. He's extended his patrol hours and cut back on time at Wayne Enterprises. He's pretty sure not even Alfred noticed. He knows the Kryptonians aren't worried about him not having a heart beat and they have no reason to tell anyone. They know he has a special device that can hide him from their senses and tests it on Kon a lot to make him focus on spacial awareness beyond his hearing. He used it a lot before he died. They just think he hasn't turned it off in a while.

Tim remembers how he died. Not fully, but there are pieces. He remembers he was fighting someone on a bridge and he didn't call for back up because he thought he could handle it. He doesn't remember who he thought he could handle. He remembers something stinging his arm. A bug? No a bug couldn't bite through Kevlar, it was a needle. Then everything started going dark and he was stumbling back. His back hit something hard and he tiped over it. He thought he could land on the other side. He remembers wondering why his suit felt so damp and heavy as the world went black around him.

Tim's body is still at the bottom of the bay where it will likely stay forever with so, so many other bodies. It makes Tim wonder, why him? Why not everyone else who ended up down there? Why not everyone who has died in Gothem? Did he come back like Jason did, is it something to do with being a vigilante? Tim checks his own pulse again while he's alone. Yep. Still dead. He continues on his patrol and tries to shove those thoughts away.

So what if Tim's dead? He's still here and he still has work to do. His family is full of detectives. If they can't figure out that something as important as death has happened to one of their own? Well then Tim thinks they need to pay more attention. He ignores the pain that curls in the back of his mind at that thought.

It's been 6 months. Why hasn't anyone noticed? Tim can't help but wonder if they ever will.

Howdy its me @bonebrokebuddy answering. I'm Twone's (twin bones) twin who is helping answer asks because this fucker has like, over 100 of them in her ask box and I help her with making prompt ideas frequently so she trusts me to not horribly fuck up her account.

This is my first answer for her I've written because I had my screen on low brightness and on darkmode, so your profile jump scared the shit out of me when I scrolled past it. Therefore im answering this one first.

Anywho, from my chronic inability to write angst here goes: Tim died, came back and none of the Bats seemed to care. So what? It's not like his best friends hadn't done the same thing. And he was tired and sick of the Bats thinking his entire life revolved around them.

So he packed up his bags and headed to Kansas.

The Bats might not be worried but neither was Kon or Bart. They're actually thrilled after getting over their initial grief that Tim now has also personally experienced death and came back. The funeral was a rather small, breif, and quiet afar. Kon made sure to help locate Tim's corpse and Bart helped with the eulogy (surprisingly heartfelt and moved them all to tears.)

Sure, they're sad that Tim died but he's right in front of them, it's a little more difficult to morn when you've been laughing at said dead guy who got stuck halfway through phasing out of the wall. And now Tim can keep track with them!

Kon is a little pissed that Tim can now go intangible and escape his TTK so he can't take away Tim's coffee anymore. But it's kinda worth it. The first time he took Rob on his favorite flight path, he's never wanted anything else than to hear Tim's breathless laugh and see his frighteningly perfect smile again. They now often go on flights together, high above the clouds with no-one else but them for thousands of miles around. (it almost felt like a date)

Bart knew this would happen one day. He was from the future, of course he knew that Tim Drake, formerly Red Robin, died at age 19 and changed his alias to The Grey Ghost. It doesn't mean that Bart doesn't morn the passing of his friend. Tim means a lot to him and the brief guilt that he did not stop Tim's death also quickly passes. He can finally show Tim that hiding space in the walls that no one else can get to without phasing through the wall! One other thing. Bart is unsure if Kon has noticed yet, which he knows Kon isn't the most observant of the old young justice crew but he has to have noticed it by now. Ever since Tim left Gotham he's developed an insane appetite despite claiming that he didn't need to eat while in Gotham and also being dead so why does he need to eat? (Unknown to Bart, Kansas doesn't have as much ambient ectoplasm as Gotham and Tim is starting to experience the withdraw symptoms. If the trio don't realize how to fix Tim's worsening symptoms soon, Tim might actually die for good this time.)

[jackmanbj]

trick or treat!

summary: you and jack take your 2 year old to trick or treat but she gets more candy then you thought and you and jack get into an argument about if you need to take some away or not.

“you really to go baby?” your 2 year old daughter excitedly shook her head yes “ok baby how about you go get daddy and tell him to come on so we can go?” “ok mommy!”

sarija ran to the living room where she knew jack was to find him sitting on the sofa putting on his 550’s “daddy hurry!!” “mama wait please daddy has a headache” “oh no..” you daughter ran back to you “mommy daddy has headache? he ok?” “yes baby i’ll go check on him you wanna come?” she shook her head no while you walked over to jack.

“you ok baby?” “my fucking head hurts” “do you still want to go trick or treating with us?” “yea of course” “ok i’ll go get you some pain medicine stay put.”

you came back to jack talking to sarija while she was giggling “im back, now lets hurry this up so we can go hhm?” “yes mommy!!” jack took the medicine and sarija told jack yo bed down so she could kiss his head “feel better??” “yes princess thank you! you kisses always make me and mommy feel so much better!”

eventually you all had left the house and were on your way to your first house “now what do you say when you get the candy?” “thank you!” you gave your daughter a high five “good girl” at the first house jack went up to the door with her while you stated back at the driveway.

“trick or treat!!” “hi missy! what are you?!” “minnie mouse!” sarija put her hand over her mouth and giggled “ok well i have something extra special for you!” the house owner gave her a huge minnie mouse lollipop “thank you!” “of course!” jack and sarija started walking back to you.

“show mommy what you got princess!” “i not princess today! i minnie!” “ok minnie, show mommy what you got!” you daughter took out the huge lollipop and showed it to you “thats awesome! but baby you need to apologize to daddy, you yelled at him that could hurt his feelings baby, right?” “yes.. im sorry daddy” “thats ok bug.”

you were headed to the 8th house of the night, it was 9:30 and your feet were starting to hurt being as though your costume needed you to wear high heels.

“jack i think im gonna head home, you ok by yourself?” “yea mamas” “ok baby, come home when its to much candy, no going over the limit, im serious” “i got you baby”

you had made it back home and ended up playing some music while cleaning the kitchen, your bedroom, and sarija’s room, you took out sarija’s pajamas and placed them on top of her dresser while you headed back to your room to take a quick 10 minute shower thinking jack should be on his way back with half a bag full of candy.

after 45 minutes of you waiting jack walked through the door with a full bucket of candy and a smaller bag of candy.

“uhm thats way over her limit jack!” “baby its fineee, it’s halloween!” “yea mhm, we’re going to talk later” “fuck!” “JACKMAN!” “DADDY!” “WHAT??” “you said bad word!” “sorry princess, wont happen again!”

you started bringing your daughter to the bathroom and putting her into the bathtub and cleaning her off.

by the time you were done she was good and tired.

“mommy i sleepy..” “ok baby lets go to bed” you took her yo her room putting the clean pajamas on her you had laid out earlier, tucking her in and kissing her goodnight.

you walked out of the room to find jack sitting on the sofa scrolling on his phone.

“jackman bedroom now” you said walking past him, you head jack huff and get up.

“why would you let het get that much candy?” “baby its halloween, its not like were giving it to her all in one day.. its going to take her like 5 months to eat all that” “dont care, your missing my fucking point” “whats your point?” “if i were out there with yall the whole time you would have stopped halfway, you disrespected my wishes” “baby, j really dont see this as a big deal” “its not a big deal but j.. you just went against everything i made rules about, if you keep this up shes going to think whatever i say doesn’t matter, like what her monma says doesn’t matter because daddy said something else, if you would have called me and just simply asked me if you could stay out longer and get more candy i wouldn’t mind, yall had daddy daughter time but stop disrespecting me, understand?” “understand.”

you turned over laying on your pillow falling under the blanket as you felt jack come wrap his arms around you pulling you closer.

“goodnight mamas, your doing so good, great wife, even better mom. i love you” “goodnight baby boy, you doing better, you balanced your work like, made me and sarija your number one prioritys, amazing husband, amazing daddy. i love you.”

[miwsolovely]

—THE PAINTER

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader x luca davies-bernardi

series masterlist taglist next

summary: beautiful chaos.

contains: implications + mentions of abuse, ptsd, panic attack, pov changing, reader is sick and tired of everything but carmy makes her think

wc: 4.6k

a/n: im thinking of making this an au where luca and carmy are both the owners of The Beef (this takes place roughly before carmy turns The Beef into The Bear, but mc will be there to see it happen in this series)

a/n 2: i was listening to second best by laufey while writing this :((

a/n 3: posted on a whim so this is unedited bear w me

You could almost feel the cold waves embracing you.

Could almost taste the salt, feel the sting of saltiness in your eyes only to feel the droplets wash away on your face.

You felt as if you were flying. floating in air with your only worry being how you could get down. If you could get down. If you could get out of this feeling. This loneliness.

You would’ve stayed too. Suspended in the cold sea with only the feeling of the waves hitting your body, the sound of the waves hugging the shore, the wind singing in your ears.

You had no choice but to stay. Because even if you fell, there was no moon to pull the waves away from crashing against you. To pull you down underneath the water until your fingers barely grazed the surface.

So you stayed.

And your alarm woke you up.

You opened your eyes with a sigh, cringing at the feel of the cold nipping at your skin and the stabbing pain all over your body.

An old band t-shirt and shorts. The unforgiving chicago winter turning your fingers into ice, dark blue blooming underneath your nail beds.

You cringed as you tried to sit up, freezing fingers feeling at semi-aged splotches of blue and yellow and purple around your tired body.

It was beautiful. To a painter at least. To you in your own sick way. To find beauty in something so horrible. So inhumane.

They were the aftermath of a bad day gone horribly wrong. His day that went wrong. Because of this horrible day you knew you’d never forget, you ran, again.

Even though you knew what would happen to you if you were found. Even though you knew you would be found. You always were. Now you just take to taking extra, extra precautions and looking over your shoulder every five seconds, making sure your back is never turned facing an exit, memorizing every face that looks like his. You ran this time. You’re not going back.

You expected the cold wood floor to greet your feet as you stood. However you were met with plush.

You looked down and noticed the duvet that once protected your body from the cold of the night, was now on the floor seemingly thrown off of you.

He was here. Watching you sleep, watching you when you were the most vulnerable. Watching you like a predator stalking its prey, jowls out and salivating waiting to pounce.

You stared at it as you eyes welled up, flooded, and like rain your tears poured on the duvet. Unforgiving just like this winter. Just like him.

You sniffed and dug the heels of your palms on your eyelids, took deep breaths, in the nose out the mouth, and blinked your red rimmed eyes back into focus. You took another deep breath, and let it go.

You wiped your tears with the back of your hand and stood up, limping your way to your bathroom, ignoring the burning pain of your heart in its hard, iron cage.

***

Carmen could almost feel the fire at his fingertips.

He could almost taste the smoke, feel the sting in his eyes as they blurred and filled with tears threatening to spill from his crystal eyes.

He felt as if he were drowning, fingertips just barely grazing the surface of the water before he was pulled down again into the deep depths of the unknown. His mind.

He would’ve stayed there. Would’ve stayed and let the waves forcefully shove him under, let the burn of water rushing into his lungs engulf him. However, when taunted by the moon even the waves bow.

He didn’t like to admit it often (ever), but when he was surrounded by the people he loved, the people who cared for and about him, Carmen felt happier, lighter.

And his other half—oh, his other half looked at him and talked to him and cared for him and loved him even before he touched his skin.

Luca is his everything.

He wouldn’t know where he would be without him in all honesty. If anything happened to him he would—

His alarm woke him up.

He twitched and felt his lover’s body curl around him more. Legs tangled together and skin touching skin.

He cleared his throat and tried to clear the fog in his mind as well.

Luca shifted from his position behind Camren, tightening his arms around his waist ever so gently.

Carmen sighs and pats the arms bound around him gently. “C’mon big guy,” He said. “Every second counts, yeah?”

He earned a grunt in response.

***

They really need to hire more people.

Today was hectic to say the least. Angry customers, slow customers, customers that forgot their order and took to staring at his arms.

Customers that didn’t even look at the tip jar.

He didn’t know how Richie did it. Stared at customers with a fake smile who stared back without the smile.

Richie was home, taking care of his daughter Eva after she came down with a bad stomach bug. He was begging, almost get-down-on-your-knees begging, just for a week off.

“Carmy, Carmen please, just the week okay? I won’t—I swear to Saint fucking Joe himself, just the week and I won’t ask for anything else—”

“Cousin, cousin, it’s okay. Take all the time you need alright?”

He was ready to go outside, in the middle of the street, and scream until his own ears bled. Or, if push comes to shove, he could put up a “Help Wanted” sign.

Carmen closed his eyes and let out a deep breath from his nose and rubbed at the back of his neck, trying to soothe the sore muscles that took refuge there.

“Short-staffed?”

Carmen opened his eyes and immediately, he met the gaze of the woman in front of him.

She was wearing a turtleneck colored a dark chestnut. Suited her well, he thought. She had wide leg jeans from what he could see over the counter and—

And he’d been staring.

“Uh—” He let out an airy chuckle. “Yeah, how’d you . . .” He slowly removed his hand from his neck and placed it on the counter, warm palm meeting the cold surface of the counter. Trying to wake him up from this dream.

“Saw you and the other worker here runnin’ around like headless chickens.” She smiled. A pretty thing it is. “Thought you guys were short staffed.” She confessed.

Carmen smiled. A genuine one too. Smiled a smile that was meant for someone other than Luca.

“Well uhm—unless you’re out of a job and know where the tip jar is, you’re uh—you’re in luck.”

Carmy saw her eyes light up. He didn’t know, but that was the first time she smiled that much in a while.

***

You had seen him before.

You don’t know where, but his face was so familiar.

Yes, some people have “that face” where they look familiar just because the structure of their face looks like somebody else’s they know. However, there was nothing else like the way his eyes shined, or the way his nose was crooked probably broken a few times. Or the way he looked, the way he talked, the way he was looking at you right now.

Maybe you were too friendly? You wouldn’t know anyways, being deprived of human and social interactions for a long time, the years you were with him, turning easy things such as holding a conversation or starting one, tiring and making them out of your comfort zone.

A part of you, a tiny part of you barely even recognized, started conversation with him because you thought he was nice.

Not nice actually, kind. You could see he was kind because of the way he held the door for an elderly couple when he was on break, jogging over to the door and sharing smiles with them. You knew it in the way he offered to make sweets for a customers child’s birthday party after they expressed how they can’t find someone willing to do it. You could see it in the way he brang you your order with a tiny, shy, but genuine smile on his face.

Now the other part of you, the large, overwhelmingly scared part of you did it so that he’d remember you. Remember your face when he would see it on a missing persons poster, remember you so that if it came to it, when it came to it, he’d tell the police he saw you at The Beef on Thursday, May 18th at 3:47 pm on a sunny, yet cold day.

You let out a breath and peered at your sandwich, wrapped to go logo reading “The Beef” in bolded red letters.

Should you leave? It’d be weird to stay considering you ordered your sandwich to go.

You’re just taking up space.

Maybe you should leave. You’re not waiting for anyone, and no one is waiting for you.

You sighed and a man walked by where you were sat. Towards him, the kind man, the man with the mystifyingly beautiful tattoos, him.

You thought nothing of it, why would you have? it was all normal.

Until you saw his hair, the shape of his nose, his build.

Blond with defined muscles that seemed to almost rip the shirt he was wearing to threads. His large hands waving at the kind man at the counter, large hands that look eerily similar to his. Nose crooked like his, blond hair cut similar to his.

Him, him, him.

Your heart was pounding, beating like a drum, a bad storm with thunder that scares, imagining your tears melting on your face like how the rain would feel on your skin whenever he'd throw you outside in a bad storm to treat you a lesson. Unforgiving. Him, him, him.

You thought it was a mistake. That it really wasn't him, you were just seeing things. That's what you usually do in situations like these; you deny, deny, deny. Not everything is true in the true light of day.

But in the wispy shadows of night it's ironic how most everything comes to life. Everything you think to be wrong jump and pounce on you when you least expect it. When you're cleaning, cooking, doing chores, sleeping.

The ring on his index finger glinted and burned your eyes. Him. It’s him.

You remember, in the early stages of your relationship, when your eyes were being deceived by his sweet words and caramel eyes, when everything was good, his ring was always warm to the touch.

Either it was because he ran like a furnace in the coldest of nights, or the fact that he always had to be holding you. You, you, you.

But after, after the world around you burnt and his words were sharp and mean, his eyes turning dark like burnt, black sugar, the ring on his finger turned cold to the touch. So cold that it hurt. Whenever he would hold your face, force you to look at him, it hurt. His ring was always a reminder that no, you weren't safe, you never will be, and yes, you were in this forever.

"The only way," He'd say, whenever you got angry, whenever you'd try to run, whenever his anger simmered down just a tiny bit after delivering your punishment. "you'd be able to get away from me, is if someone drags you out of my cold, dead, fucking hands." And his ring was there, burning into your skin no matter how cold it was.

The creak of the chair in front of you shook you to your core.

"Hey, um, I thought you were really pretty and wanted to come over here and ask if you wanted to go on a date with me?”

Your head shot up. So fast it left your head spinning. your hands were shaking.

It wasn't him.

Whoever was above seemed to have favorites. Rewarding others but leaving you to suffer. Deceiving your eyes and making you see a burnt brown instead of a green so rich it came straight from mother nature herself, rewiring your brain so you would mistake brown for blond. Making you imagine things that weren't there. The ring on his finger was nonexistent. Nothing was there, you were wrong.

You were wrong and that left your heart beating fast, too fast, left you muttering a broken promise to the man, the innocent man, and walking away, running away, from all your problems, from him.

Him, him, him.

You don't know how, but after your burning muscles couldn't take you anywhere else, your tear stained cheeks getting wet over and over again no matter how much you wipe your face with your rough sleeve, you were outside, in an alley, breathing heavily. Your sandwich left inside the restaurant to get cold.

You held your chest with your hand, where your heart was, trying to calm it, trying to breathe. You just want to go home, you just want to go home. Home to empty, cold walls and broken AC, home to—

"You alright, love?"

- please do not plagiarize, copy, or repost my works to other platforms !

- likes, comments, and reblogs are very appreciated <3 !!

©miwsolovely

[azuritethehermit]

Could you please write something angsty to do with the soul sharing in season 8 and Mumbo removing the waffle recently, it is such fanfic material

Maybe along the lines of Grian feeling his soul return and checking in on Mumbo to confirm his suspicions, and then confrontation? 👀

Pretty please

I've been feeling very angsty lately, maybe its the teenager in me. Im going to pour all my feelings into this

It's a little short and it has a happy ending but it is angsty.

(DISCLAIMER: I'm writing abt their personas and not the people in real life.)

Mumbo felt bad. Really bad. He had been avoiding Grian and Grian knew it. It hurt his feelings. He didn't know what he did wrong.

He wanted to ask Mumbo, but he knew it would only bring them farther apart.

Grian then felt a small surge of energy, and he knew what had happened. He knew it was over. Everything they had fought for, everything that they had worked for. It was all gone when Grian felt his own soul return to his body.

He almost imagined it couldn't be real. Everything wasn't over, was it? Mumbo was his best friend, maybe more than his best friend he didn't really know, but now that was all gone.

The best Grian could do was suck it up and talk to Mumbo, but he was so upset. He was angry and sad, and he felt so many emotions at once that he didn't really know what to do. All these thoughts swirled through his head of their relationship, whatever it was, being over and gone just like that.

There had to be some logical Mumbo explanation for this. Sure, they hadn't talked in a few weeks, but he didn't think Mumbo would just stop protecting his soul.

He had half a mind to march himself over to the Magic Moutain Shopping District. He knew Mumbo would be in that damn lab. It was all he ever did anymore was testing, testing, and more testing. Of course, Grian was upset he'd been losing out on valuable moments with Mumbo, and it seemed like Mumbo didn't even care.

So he honestly couldn't think of anything else to do except ask Mumbo. He picked himself up off the ground and realized he would have to do it. He knew he would have to tell Mumbo how he felt about him in order for him to understand where this is all coming from.

He quickly flew into the air, his wings picking his weight up off the ground, easily flying the short distance over to where Mumbo would inevitably be. And there he was, Grian saw Mumbo, he was attempting to tend to the sludge and cancer, that was the green liquid the side of the laboratory was spewing out. The ground and plants seemed to have mutated down the spot where the green sludge ran out. It disgusted Grian in a way, but not enough that he cared more about it than Grian.

Grian swooped down quietly. He wanted to say something, but he wasn't quite sure what that was he wanted to say.

"Mumbo," He said out quietly.

"Grian." Mumbo turned to face the boy, Mumbos appearance almost frightened Grian. He looked tired, more tired than usual, like he hadn't slept in days, and he had these two silver strips of hair drooping down his face. He seemed to stand a couple inches taller as well.

"What had happened to you?" Grian blurts out quietly without thinking.

"To me? I feel great. Better than ever." Mumbo grinned down at the small avian, his teeth showed the sharpness of them apparent.

"You don't look good?" Grian said even quieter this time.

"What?" Mumbo said, confused, cooking his head to the side. "No Grian, I feel amazing."

Everytime he said it, Grian felt a stinging pain in his chest, like his heart was being ripped out of his body and he couldn't control his feelings anymore.

"So you feel great?" He almost seemed to shout his voice, getting louder and louder. "I don't feel great, Mumbo. What happened to us?" Grian asked almost pleading.

"I felt it, Mumbo. I felt you give it back." Grians eyes started to form tears and he almost couldnt stand here and look into the eyes of a man he barely knew anymore.

"Give what back..?" Mumbo said. A few seconds passed by, and the realization dawned on him. "Your soul? Grian, no, I-" he placed a large hand to the back of his head, feeling the place where the little criss cross should be.

"I had no idea." He said quietly.

"You had no idea?" Grian was starting to get upset again, "you had no idea after everything we've been through together?" Grian asked him, taking a step through the atomic sludge to be closer to Mumbo.

"No Grian, you don't understand, I didn't give it back." He placed his hands on Grians shoulders, "I would never, you know I love you."

"Love me? You haven't been around in ages. It feels like you've forgotten about me. Like I'm just old news, is that it Mumbo? Am I old news? Are you gonna throw me away just like all this." He gestures around to all the pollution he's created. "You made your choice a long time ago, and I'd hate to think you were going back on that."

Grian takes a deep breath, and Mumbo just stands there he has an almost horrified expression on his face. "I still have yours." Grian reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little trinket. It holds Mumbos' soul.

"You're not getting it back." Grian grips it in his hand, "You're not getting it back because I love you, and I always have."

Mumbo looks petrified, like he doesn't know what he's done. What Grian just said to him felt like a confession of love, a declaration one might say. "Grian, I-" Mumbo pauses. "I don't know what to say." He looks down, and for a moment, he waits, and then he grabs one of Grians hands.

"Please," Mumbo breathes out, "give me one more chance. I'll treat you better this time." His other hand drifts up into the others' hair, feeling the matching criss cross he used to have.

"I'm scared of you, Mumbo." Grian says quietly but enough that Mumbo can hear.

"You trusted me before, trust me again. I can be a better holder for you." Mumbo says gently, squeezing the others hand.

Grian thinks for a second before squeezing his hand back. "Okay." And with Grians permission, Mumbo pulls him into a kiss. The kiss was passionate enough that both could feel the energy surge in a stupidly romantic way.

After a few moments Mumbo pulled away and Grian looked at him, he looked less tired. Still the grey streaks were there but he felt the tallers scalp and there were the scars. Grian smiled before pulling Mumbo into a hug.

"I'm so sorry" Mumbo breathed out.

"Never leave me again," Grian said just as breathily, and he had a hint of fear behind the words. Of course, he wouldn't want anything bad to happen to them. There was nobody he loved more than Mumbo Jumbo.

[mylostloversbookmarks]

Waiting for a Miracle

Characters - Joel Miller x Reader, Ellie Williams

Summary - After being attacked by raiders, you sustain a serious injury - Joel and Ellie do everything they can to save you but will it be enough?

Word Count - 2.5K

Warnings/Tags - 18+ only Minors dni. Typical canon language, Angst, mentions of blood and wounds, swearing, hurt, anxiety, pain, guilt, insecure!Joel, upset!Ellie. Suicide attempt mentioned but not heavily discussed. Im not a medical professional so forgive me if anything is medically inaccurate!

A/N - I hurt myself with this one! Set Post-Outbreak! This is heavily inspired by EP.6 ~ Kin and the beginning of Ep 7 ~ Left Behind, and I thought it would be fun to reverse the rolls on this.

Reblogs, comments and feedback are so welcome and so so appreciated!

If you enjoyed this check out my other works here ~ Masterlist

Divider credit to @saradika

As he walked through the barren wasteland, he could feel the all-too-familiar sense of desolation wash over him. The air is thin and icy, hurting his lungs as he inhales. The only sound that can be heard is the howl of the wind and the crunch of fresh snow under his tired, heavy footsteps.

Moving further down the dirt road, he can see the outline of the dilapidated farm house where he left Ellie watching over you. Its walls crumbled, the roof caved in, the windows shattered, and the once-blue front door hung loosely on its rusted hinges.

Inside, the scene was just as bleak. The remaining furniture was overturned and broken, thanks to raiders tearing their way through any property they came across.

The walls were peeling and covered from floor to ceiling in a thick coat of dirt and grime. A heavy layer of dust had settled over everything in sight.

Moving further into the house, he makes his way to the barricade he had put in place before he left you and Ellie this morning to look for more supplies and any medication he could get his hands on.

 "Ellie?" He huffs out to let her know it is him moving the barricade as he leans his weight on one side of the heavy mahogany book shelf, sliding it along the dingy wooden floor to reveal the doorway.

"Joel? Did you find anything?" Ellie's pleading voice is muffled from behind the closed door.

Opening the door, he finds Ellie in the exact spot he had left her several hours before, sitting on her knees beside the filthy matteress he had laid you on what felt like a lifetime ago.

She was hunched over you with an old rag in her hand, mopping up the sweat that was beading on your forehead. He could see the worry etched onto her face as she did everything she could to keep you comfortable. She looks up at him as he enters, her face grim.

"How is she?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. It wasn't that he didn't want to disturb you; he just wasn't sure he could stop his voice from breaking if he spoke any louder.

Ellie shook her head. "She's still unconscious, but I think her fever has gone down a bit and the wound isn't bleeding anymore."

Joel just nods, his eyes fixed on you. Seeing you lying there so helpless and vulnerable, like a ghost of your usual bubbly, sarcastic self, the ever-present crease between your brows was gone; your teeth were no longer fussing at your bottom lip; your smart mouth was no longer calling him out on his bullshit; and your face was pallid and covered in a sheen of sweat.

The sight stirred up a storm of emotions within him that he couldn't quite put a name to. Joel knew that he had always been drawn to you, even before the attack.

Though he would never admit it and always did his best to hide it. He couldn't place what it was about you that brought him out of himself, despite his best efforts to keep you at arm's length.

He had vowed to himself that he would never get attached to anyone again. Not after what happened to Sarah.

It wasn't that he didn't want to care about people, but he has learned that in this world, caring for people only brings pain, and he just didn't know if he could survive another loss.

He almost didn't survive it the first time. The faint scar on his temple is a constant reminder of the events he has drank himself into oblivion over on many occasions in the hopes of scarring them from his memory, but it never works.

Though Ellie had always ribbed him when she caught him watching you from a distance, usually when youd set up camp for the night and you were rolling out your sleeping bag or flipping through one of the books you had picked up on the road.

She would jab him in the ribs with her elblow, uttering "Eh? Eh?" with a wiggle of her fair eyebrows. He normally silences her quickly with a stern warning glance, worried you might overhear her.

Now, though, his feelings were more intense, and he didn't know if it was because he was too tired to keep up the effort to hide them or that the fear of losing you was overpowering every other thought that raced through his head.

His mind was consumed by guilt; he had failed. Again. He had failed Sarah. He had failed Ellie over and over, and now he has failed you. Failed to protect you from the man coming at you from behind because he was too fucking old and deaf to hear him coming.

He couldn't fathom why you both had insisted on staying with him when you had both overheard him speaking to Tommy. It was the first time Joel had opened up in what felt like two decades.

He openly admitted to his brother that he knew he was going to get you both killed. He begged Tommy to take Ellie the rest of the way, and he knew that you wouldn't leave her side.

He remembers standing in the stables thirty minutes after he had intended on leaving, pretending to check over the horses saddle and reins, when Ellie walked in, closely followed by you and Tommy.

He offered you both a choice, insisting you would be better off with Tommy. He didn't even make it through his sentence before Ellie was thrusting her pack into his chest, effectively silencing him.

You had given him a reassuring smile and a small nod as you moved to help Ellie onto the horse. And now here you are in front of him, lying lifeless on a soiled mattress in the dead of winter in the middle of nowhere because of him.

He knelt down beside the mattress and took your hand in his, his thumb rubbing small circles into the clammy back of your hand. Motioning to Ellie to pass him his pack, Joel opens it and takes out the supplies he found on his run.

"I found a drug store; it was mostly picked over, but I found this under one of the cabinates." He explains, lifting out a vile of pennicilin and a syringe that is still safely housed in its unopened sterile packaging. He says a silent prayer of thanks to whatever higher power allowed him to find this.

Ellie just nods, her eyes glued to Joel's hands, watching as he takes hold of your hand, turning it so it is palm-up as he rolls your sleeve up past the crease of your elbow, removing his belt and tightening it around your arm.

Tapping at the viens in the crease of your arm but getting no response, you had lost so much blood from the wound that your viens were refusing to stand to attention.

Joel doesn't want to risk injuring a vein, so he decides to inject you directly into your wound. He removes the belt, throwing it to the side, rolls your sleeve back down, and sets your hand back by your side.

"Ellie, Im going to need your help." He murmurs to her, his voice thick with emotion.

"What do you need me to do?" she implores him.

"I can't find a vein; she's lost too much blood, so I'm going to have to put it into the wound. It's going to be painful, but we don't have another option. I need you to hold her still no matter what, okay?" Joel demanded it as calmly as he could.

"Okay, I can do that," Ellie confided, her voice wobbling with the unshed tears that were threatening to spill over at any moment.

"Hey, she's going to make it; she's going to be okay," Joel promises her, his hand coming up to rest on her cheek, wiping away a tear that was making its way down her cheek.

Ellie just nods in response, her tears flowing freely now. Joel pulls the blanket down and gently rolls your t-shirt up your torso, stopping at your ribcage. Removing the bloodied gauze that was covering the wound just above your left hip.

The wound was deep and had left a jagged, misshaped circle of angry crimson on your otherwise smooth, perfect skin.

He tore open the plastic wrapping and removed the syringe from its packaging, taking a deep breath before inserting the needle into the vein and withdrawing the medication.

"Okay, hold her still," Joel says, his voice unsteady as he positions the needle over your wound, placing his other hand on your cheek and rubbing his thumb back and forth, willing you to hear him before he continues.

"Darlin, I'm sorry. This is going to hurt, okay? But it's going to help, I promise."

Ellie nods towards him, signaling she was ready; she has repositioned herself at your head, her hands resting on your shoulders, and tightens her hold on you as Joel inserts the needle and slowly pushes his thumb down on the plunger.

You flinch and groan in pain, but Ellie holds you steady, tears flowing down her face and leaving little dark spots where they land on the mattress.

Finally, Joel withdraws the needle and sets it back inside the packaging in an attempt to keep it as sterile as possible given the current surroundings.

He grabs another patch of gauze from his pack and presses it against the wound. He pulls your shirt down and lays the blanket back over you, tucking you in as best he can, being careful not to jostle you too much.

"That's it, sweetheart," he whispers, his voice gentle as he strokes your hair. "Now we wait," he sighs, more to himself than anyone else.

Joel and Ellie sit in silence for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts, exchanging worried glances, unsure of what the future holds.

Despite the uncertainty, Joel is determined to do everything he can to keep you safe and help you recover. He holds your hand tightly, and his thumb continues to rub small, reassuring circles into the back of your hand as he silently vows to protect you at all costs.

As the moments tick by, Ellie's anxiety grows with each shallow breath you take. She feels helpless and scared, unsure if you will make it through the night.

The weight of potentially losing another person she cares about is too much, and she breaks. Loud, ragged sobs break through her clenched teeth, shaking her small frame.

Joel's eyes snap up at the sudden sound, and he can feel his heart constricting at the sight of her tears. He releases your hand, pulling her into a tight embrace. He strokes her hair, whispering words of comfort in her ear as she cries into his chest.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, baby girl," Joel murmurs softly. "We're here for her. We're not going to leave her. We're going to get through this together."

Ellie clings to Joel tightly, her body wracked with sobs as she tries to process her emotions. She's scared of losing you and of what will happen if you don't make it. Joel's presence and his words provide some solace, giving her a glimmer of hope that things might be okay.

The three of you stay like that for what feels like hours, huddled together in the dimming light, listening to the sounds of your breathing.

It's a comfort to hear the sound even out ever so slightly and to know that you're fighting to stay alive as hard as they are to keep you with them.

Eventually, Ellie pulls away from him, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her coat. She looks over at you, still sleeping on the matteress, and takes a deep breath.

"We're going to make it through this, right?" She asks, her voice wavering slightly.

"We are," Joel replies firmly, his gaze locked on you. "I'll do whatever it takes to keep you both safe."

Ellie nods, a look of determination taking over her face. She moves back to your side, taking your hand in hers and squeezing firmly.

"We're here; we're not going anywhere."

The hours passed by slowly; it was well past dark now and getting colder. Looking over at Ellie, Joel can see she is fighting to keep her eyes open.

"You need to get some rest; I'll stay up with her." He murmurs; his tone is serious, and she doesn't bother to argue with him.

"Okay, but you'll wake me if anything changes." Ellie pushed, not moving a muscle until she had his word.

"I will," he whispered solemnly.

Ellie stood and stretched for the first time in hours, grabbing her pack and unrolling her sleeping bag a few feet away from where Joel sat by your mattress.

She was so exhausted from the stress of the current situation that sleep found her quickly. In a matter of minutes, Joel could hear her soft snores.

Joel shifted into a more comfortable position beside you, stretching himself out on the floor so he was lying on his side, his head level with your own.

He reclaimed your hand in his. It was cold and limp, and he couldn't help but think about how much he had taken you for granted.

He has known that you were strong enough to handle anything that came your way and that you didn't need anyone's help. But now, as he looked at your pale face, he realised that it was ridiculous to think that anyone could have made it out of that situation in any other way.

He leans in close, his forehead resting against your hand, his eyes closed. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. I should have heard him. I should have protected you." His voice broke, and he struggled to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over.

There was a long moment of silence, broken only by your steady breathing, Ellie's snores, and the occasional creak of the old farmhouse. Joel stayed there, still holding your hand, lost in his thoughts. He thought about all the things he wanted to say to you and all the things he wished he had done differently.

He wished he had been more open with you and told you how much you meant to him. He wished he had hugged you and spent more time just being with you.

It was too late for those regrets now. All he could do was sit there, holding your hand or stroking your hair. Willing you to wake up and hoping that somehow, someway, you would pull through. That you would come back to him, and he could make things right.

As he sat watching the steady rise and fall of your chest. Joel knew that nothing would ever be the same again. That he would never be able to erase these memories and that he would always carry this pain with him.

But he also knew that he couldn't give up, that he had to keep fighting and keep pushing forward. For you. For Ellie. For himself.

And so he sat there, stroking your hair and whispering all the things he should have told you before, waiting for a miracle.

[razberrybones]

Yo

The online therian community sucks

Some of it really does. From what I've seen from tiktok? eugh yeah. and it's really not as welcoming on other platforms as it is here. I'm happy for all of the positive aspects and good people i've found, the accessibility to resources and knowledge is something i really adore. But I cant say anything for in person interactions or I guess? the in person community? Haven't met another therian or nonhuman out in the wild </3 I'm envious of everyone who has lmao

I dont know enough of the online therian community to actually be able to say if anythings wrong with it or if there's something we could do to improve, but im open to suggestions.

I get the feeling this was likely sent as hate, but I'm very optimistic pfft

If it was sent as hate, lets try to work though this yeah?

So first things first, I'm tired and a very flawed being with limited knowledge on this topic. I'm gonna be wrong and considerably ungraceful with some things, and i welcome anyone to add on where they can. Now, lemme give it a shot.

By 'sucks' i'm taking it as you personally don't like it. Not liking something is perfectly okay, but going out of your way to tell someone that you personally do not like something that is theirs is mean, and not a good look. I know you've likely heard that everywhere, too. Its a seemingly simple message that a lot of people just don't understand or ever manage to apply to their lives because they don't care to.

Let's try and explain it.

So hate? Why spread it? Normally it comes from dissatisfaction in the self, or situation the person is in or was in. Growing up and being in unhealthy environments contributes a lot. Anywhere with particular societal expectations has ingrained this toxic cookie cutter type mentality on top of whatever they've been taught by their life this far. I understand why people choose to hate, but it's only going to keep the cycle repeating. That is feeling awful and then being awful because of it.

People tend to spread hate the most when they hate themselves. It is always taught. Sometimes by people who are ill intended but sometimes they genuinely meant well, they themselves just didn't know any better. What matters now is what're you going to do with it? This awful painful feeling? Most people just put it back out into the world perpetuating the cycle, and that is the easier thing to do, but unlearning it is the best thing you can do for yourself and others.

We've been taught that only certain things are okay or should be accepted, but there's really not any harm in it if it's not hurting anyone. And that goes for everything non harmful such as wearing clothes not in fashion or liking sea turtles a lot, even all together looking or working different, not just therianthropy or nonhumans.

Learning that other things, sometimes besides just what you've been taught, are okay will help you accept vastly different people and situations in life. And most of all! Yourself.

From what I've seen people throw out hate because they think they have to be one certain way, and then this thing that was originally meant to keep them safe is harming them and others. They've made a little metal cage in their head, and now the bars and joints are cutting into them. They've far out grown it, and have no reason to stay in the cage, but it's safe to them. It kept them safe from whatever was out of the cage. That thing is long gone of course but it was a very scary experience. Stepping out is horrifying if you think a tiger is going to bite you.

You need to evaluate if you're actually in a safe space to set out of the cage, whether you feel safe or not. Be patient with yourself and all of that. Just remember you're a person who's never done this before, you're not going to have a good idea of what you're doing or anything. It's okay to fuck up. Just start little.

It really pains me when i see hate online, because I just worry for that person. I know someone who isn't just parroting what they've heard wouldnt do that. It just paints a picture of dissatisfaction and gives them an uncomfortable air. I really wish everyone could be okay and learn it feels much better to be open minded and grow. It's like they're putting themselves in a blender and saying "this! this is the perfect form!" and man, im rambling now and dont remember my point. It is past my bedtime. but!! I want to help.

I want to help everybody. Everybody is fuckin awesome they just dont know it yet, and i can help if they are willing. I can show them if they're willing. I love everybody, maybe not their actions or how they feel sometimes but everyone is a person or being and that's worthy of love. That's enough. so get up there and change smth, make your life a little better, sit outside without your phone for a bit, watch a ted talk while you brush your teeth. its fucken awful now, but you'll never see if it gets better if you jsut stop seeing all together. Its a new day everyday, you get a fresh start so often, so many opportunities to do what you can. Even just thinking about it is a start if you cant pull yourself to take that first step. The first is the hardest but i truly believe life wouldn't throw smth at you that you couldn't handle. You can do it, one step at a time.

And now it's late for me, and i hope the best for everyone. i think i lost my point half way through, but after rereading it a few times i still cannot tell. I hope it is good enough :salute:

Wait i think i just realized you're the lamb. if im remembering the name correctly.

[bluxb3rry]

❝𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦!❞↳෴੭˚ ༘♡·˚₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 💜

Hyunjin x male reader! He/him pronouns! English is not my frist language! More angst? idk ── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

In a world were only Kings and Queens rule, the money its the most important thing. Who has it, wins and who doesn’t, dies.

Thats what his father always told him, when he was just a little boy and inocent, afraid of the oh so called "real world", he was though how to steal and act, how to make People see him with pity only to steal their bread.

-Y/N, never try to take orders from someone else, only from me even if im dead-

His father was the reason he still steals, his father was the reason of why he fought, he stold, he ran and he got hurt in his name.

So, it was only fair to blame him in this situation.

-Y/N L/N, its funny seeing you like this right now, you promised to kill every single one of us by now, remeber?-one of the guards told him, while he was in the floor with blood coming out of his mouth.

-What a piece of shit, i wonder why that prince wants you still alive, you should die by now-

-fuck you-Y/N said

Then everything turned black.

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

When he opened his eyes again, he felt tired and pain all over his body, looking at the ceiling and his gold details, with also a big painting of clouds in it. Already knowing where he was he just looked around, trying to find the window thats its hopefully open. He sat slowly in the bed, seeing his naked body with bandages and violet spots, when he touched them he felt more pain.

The door opened

-Y/n!-he heard an angelic voice, then he felt hands in his chest and how he was slowly being lay down to the bed again-you need to rest! stop trying to escape for once

-trying? i always escaped before you watched me again-he said smiling

-yeah well, you look worse now, you took longer to wake up-the male said, his long black hair being tied up while he looked at him.

-Hyunjin, i can't stay-

-but you can! you are safer in here, you have food, a room, warm water-he sighed-why do you always have to go and keep stealing?

Hyunjin turn away, looking for the food he brought in for him, bring in it more closer.

-my dad didn't like this style of living, you know that-he was interrupted by a biscuit in his mouth

-you say that every-fucking-time, im tired of that you know?-he started cutting the food, knowing that Y/n couldn't move his own arms-i...i miss having you here, being with you

-stop-

Hyungjin felt your hands in his own, but didn't try to look

-you know, even if you are the one with power, they would kill you the moment they see you with me, if not for the gender is gonna be for who i am-

-i told you we could escape-

-i don't want you to live like me-

-but you just said!-Hyunjin shouted, but stopped, noticing how close you both were.

-i know...but we just can't, we aren't made for each other-Y/N ate a little bit more, and then stand up.

-you don't even kiss me anymore-Hyunjin looked at him-why? you can't even do that? you can't give me that satisfaction?

-if i do it, im afraid i won't be able to go-

-Then do it-Hyunjin got closer to you-kiss me, stay here, no one has to know, it can be our secret-

-if i stay, i could love you, but you would have to be with some lady to not make it that obvious, to have that heritage your father oh so wants-you looked at him-one way or the other we can't be happy

Silence took place, Hyunjin trying to think in another way while Y/N was suprised he didn't escaped yet.

-Just for this day, please-Hyunjin pleaded, holding your hands

-if i go tomorrow, its gonna be worse for you-

-just...-he sighed-let me have this joy for one day, let me imagine that we live in a world where you didn't have to live like this for some code, a world we are not gonna be hated for our love, a world were i can wake up and have you on my side-

-it's just gonna be a dream, love-

-well, let me dream-he kissed him

and you accept it

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

You were both kids when you met eatch other, he escaped from his castle with tears in his eyes and you found him, you hugged him while saying that "pretty people should not cry!" and made him laugh.

You played like kids, he remebers how he got all dirty, his white clothes being a big contrast with the dirt and your own clothes, in his eyes you were a free spirit that liked to do anything, he loved that form you, didn't even care that you were a boy.

After he came back from outside (not before a kiss in the cheeck as a goodbye from you) he told everything to his parents, his dad said he was just a kid and no boys could have such feelings, that he was just confused. When he cried to his mother and while she was hugging him, she told him "love is different for everyone, if you like that boy, then i guess is okay"

He escaped almost all days from the castle to look at you, to find you, it looked like everytime he find you, you changed a little bit more.

So, after some years, when you both stopped being kids and he knew everything you did, he said everything, his feelings, his worries, everything. All under the moon and stars.

You kissed him that day, you hugged him and said the same to him, but also saying the one thing he already knew.

"in a world like this, all we can wish is just gonna be a dream Hyunjin"

"then, let me sleep and dream it"

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

Hyunjin woke up the next day, feeling the slight pain in his hips, and he touched his neck that was full of love marks, he smiled and then looked beside him, hoping to see you.

But the bed was to cold.

Your warmt wasn't even there, his smile dissapeard and then he looked the window, seeing it all open. He looked at the room, not seeing anytrace from you.

Then he looked at the little paper that was in the pillow beside him, were your head rested.

"i love you"

He laughed, he laughed and hide his face with his hands, slowly feeling the tears appearing and his laughs turning into sobbs while.

He just woke up from his dream after all.

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

[thedisablednaturalist]

Office disability culture is so fucked in environmental science and fieldwork. Like the mindset that to do the job you have to be in perfect physical health or you should just quit. Like I'm not talking about something that is 100% physical labor here, everything is mostly achievable with aids and you don't need to be able to do every single thing. But there's this weird like..pride..that my older coworkers have. They work out in the gym and brag about how many reps they did. They tease each other for having medical issues. They don't ask for accommodations because they fear that their legitimacy will be hurt. That it means that they can't do their job anymore. That they won't be TRUSTED to do their jobs anymore. That it will get taken away.

So they FURTHER hurt their bodies by not resting, not taking breaks, not using ergonomic equipment, not using safety equipment. Not drinking enough water. Not using mobility aids when they are so old that it's supposed to be acceptable. They don't use the scooters at the grocery store, they don't use their handicapped placard, they don't use knee pads or compression gloves.

And here I come in, 24 years old, looking perfectly healthy. And I use walking sticks, I sit down a lot, I have my care bag, I have a ton of gadgets for making fieldwork more comfortable, I have boundaries and limits, I wear braces and knee pads and compression gloves. I use my handicapped placard.

They react in one of two ways:

1. How DARE I. I'm so lucky to be young and no one sees THEM having to do all those things (literally nothing is stopping them but pride). Like old man if you need a break take a fucking break. I'm not going to hurt my health to make you feel better about hurting yours. I'm not risking a flare up to spare the 65 year olds feelings. Im gonna take my break and use my equipment cause my boss doesn't care as long as the work gets done. I'm tired of glares from 100 year olds making themselves struggle across the parking lot when they could also be using the fucking scooter. (I never take the last scooter, there's always another available. Also it's not my fault if walmart only provides 2 scooters for the whole store).

2. It shows them its okay. Its okay to need aids. When I first showed up at my job it was very...macho..everyone was afraid of seeming old (theres probably only 3 of us under 30 in the whole department, most people are at least 50, mainly 65 year olds). Then they saw me using my walking sticks, taking my medicine openly, bringing a chair with me when working away from my desk, using my TENS unit. I overheard one lady ask her granddaughter what fibromyalgia was (apparently she had spotted my pain tracking journal).

My older coworker with a bad knee got a walking stick like mine and beamed when she showed me. The grandmother uses a cane and a walker interchangeably and more often. I get asked where I get my little portable fan and pocket heaters and special clothing. Even abled coworkers are doing it. My coworker who's younger than me sets alarms to take breaks now just like I do. People seem more comfortable using things that help them now.

My boss has really struggled. He has a lot of internalized ableism and hates thinking of himself as crippled. He spent his whole life physically active and strong and all these health issues and overexertion are catching up with him. Like he did environmental testing in areas with fucking radon. He did work where they threw asbestos around like snow for fun. He's done a ton of really hard physical work. He grew up with the mentality that pain was just something everyone has to push through. But I think seeing a young person make the choice not to push through is helping him a bit. He wants to make his own walking stick, he goes to the doctor more. We bond over having constant medical issues and I even gave him the name of my surgeon. Yea he still says stuff like "shoot me if I have to use a wheelchair" (not as much anymore since he now knows I use one) but he's getting there.

Yeah so I've had this in my drafts for a bit and I wanted to update that my boss has been walking around with a fucking broken ankle for the past couple of weeks. He thought it was just arthritis pain and eventually couldn't take it anymore and went to the foot doctor. The doctor has no clue how the fuck he's been walking on it. Now he has to wear the boot and he's banned from fieldwork while he heals.

Older people and the elderly need to learn that it's okay to not push through the pain and ask for help. Everyone needs to learn this, and not be like my fucking boss. Go to the doctor, get that sore joint checked out. Get those tests done. Use that aid. Stop walking on a broken ankle just because you can.