#im not a lawyer at all so dont quote me on this

[absols-and-accessibility]

(@wingsofachampion) Do you think I'd be able to become a service Pokemon for my papa @friendball-irl? There's so many places I'm not allowed in. -Tropius

Yeah, almost certainly! The Unova Healthcare system is really bad and drags service pokemon licensing way out, so I'd suggest going to Hoenn, because that would only take a day or so. If you want, I can ask the guy who helped me get Barrister if he can pull a couple strings to make the process faster

[whichcouldmeannothing]

big big marvey fic rec list

marvey is currently my most bookmarked ship, so trust me when i say i've been around the bend for marvey content. i have dug through a lot of it the past few months, so trust that these fics have been highly rated!

fics are loosely grouped, with the summary and my thoughts under the cut :3 no spoilers ofc bc i love you

MY PERSONAL FAVOURITES

A Specter-Ross Affair by @frivoloussuits (15k+, au)

“You ordered an ‘extra-hot, extra-wet cappuccino, single-origin, properly layered, to-go and ready five minutes ago to make up for your service speed or lack thereof.’” In which Mike is a barista, Rachel is a lawyer, and Harvey is paid excessive amounts of money to plan their joyous Christmas wedding.

"Love is just a particularly socially accepted form of fraud. It's a series of increasingly complex and fragile deceptions between two or more people, and, more alarmingly, between each participant and their own deluded subconscious."

i literally cannot recommend this fic enough. this might be my favourite read of the entire year, dead serious. this sounds fluffy but trust me, the pining and the angst go well like salt on a chocolate chip cookie: extremely decadent. everything about this fic goes insane and this should be your gateway drug into marvey, im so serious about this. READ IT. (weddingplanner!harvey)

of all the gin joints by @frivoloussuits (10k+, au)

Hanging around a neighborhood bar one night, Harvey befriends a guy named Mike after realizing they can both quote The Princess Bride on demand. In the law offices of Rand, Kaldor, Zane and Pearson, senior partner Harvey Specter takes on an unusual case, representing his managing partner's daughter as she divorces a Michael James Ross. Harvey sees no connection until it's far too late.

"They’re playing a virtuosic duet with inhuman ease, as if the intoxication has broken their boundaries and blurred them into a single entity."

this. obsessed with fics that really use the law in their plots, and this is a prime example. a lot of chemistry in this one that is described in a way that makes you jealous of the bond they share and there are still lines in this fic that i think about almost everyday but honestly, such a top-tier read. PLEASE PLEASE IF YOU LIKE SUFFERING ANF REALLY REALLY GOOD CHEMISTRY PLEASE

5U175 by Closer (26k, canon-adjacent)

Harvey sometimes moonlights as a Star Trek BNF. Mike might have an attitude problem on the internet. TiberiusGhost is strangely compelling, for a recluse who never goes to meetups, and Harvey's finding this kid Photohead vaguely familiar…

i know that the terminology in this one is hella old-school but trust me. as someone who doesnt read a lot of fandom fics, this fic has changed it all for me (also bc the author replied to my comment hehehe) stick with this fic because the way fandom weaves with the character development is absolutely delicious, i remember saying this in my og comment but this fic was written with love for fandom and you should definitely read it too!!! you'd absolutely love it! (also ben stans rise up ^^)

fics to sink your teeth into (20k+)

needs must by @melthemagpie (98k+, au)

When Grammy needs an upgrade in care, Mike knows that the usual one-off gig as a paid submissive won't be enough. He takes a job he's been refusing for a while - a long-term, full-time contract. He expects his client to be a sadistic asshole. He expects not to like it. He's wrong on both counts.

this is a fandom classic, every fic rec has this on the list (cw for dom/sub and prostitution, so if you're uncomfy please dont read) but i swear there are so many romantic moments in this one that make me swoon and the smut is very good, i usually tap out in long fics really quickly but this hooked me the whole way through twice. thats my ringing endorsement, READ THIS

Lobster and Other Catastrophes by @andthetardis (21k, canon-compliant)

After months of silence, Mike starts texting Harvey again out of the blue. Funny thing to do on his honeymoon, really.

BRO PLEASE. this was so good. angsty and pining-y enough even though it's mostly a text fic. text fics to me are more like comedic, but this one had substance and heart (and funny and enjoyable btw). pulls you in and really makes you want to stick it out and get to the beautiful ending <333 (harvey being soft is probably a category on its own :3)

The Game by @frivoloussuits (27k, hunger games au)

Harvey Specter and Donna Paulsen are efficient and elegant killers. They have trained since childhood, mentored personally by Jessica Pearson and marked for years as District 1's Tributes for the Hunger Games. Mike Ross is an orphan from District 12, a drug dealer, and an underage gambler. After years of scrutinizing the Hunger Games on TV to make savvy bets, he finds himself on the wrong side of the camera, now playing the odds just to survive. Harvey and Mike cannot, should not trust each other. Still, they strike a backroom deal.

"Because he’s clever and quick-thinking and he’s learned her main lesson well– don’t love anyone you wouldn’t be willing to see dead. Ideally, don’t love anyone at all."

I READ THIS WHEN I WAS REVISITING HUNGER GAMES AND OHHHHH THIS HAS THE ANGST. absolutely riveting. ths is the third fic im reccing from them bc i love frivoloussuits. i would die for them HHFSHFHKSDGDHFG i love the angst and the life-threatening situations that the hunger games provide and harvey as a career is correct. its just correct. everything here grips my soul

Disaster Stories by agatestones (22k, canon-compliant)

"Hold on," Mike asked, "you made Donna come into work in the middle of a blizzard?" "I don't make Donna do anything. Haven't you learned by now?" Harvey gave Mike a mean little smile, but under that was relief for anyone to see. "You, I can make come into the office in a blizzard."

reads like a novella to me, and it's really good!!! very episodic and you really feel like these are things that have happened in universe. its very slice of lifey and i reread it a lot as a comfort read, its like a big hug to me

Pizza and a Movie by Closer (30k+, au)

In an alternate universe, Harvey's still a lawyer but Mike's not a pot runner -- he's a deliveryman for Rollo's Pizza and Ribs, which happens to be Harvey's favorite pizza place. Once Harvey finds out his pizza guy is a genius, Mike's life takes a few turns he would not have expected...

i swear this is the most rom-commy fic marvey has to offer. i like aus that slap me in the face more with the alternate universe, but this is such a rom-com plot. fandom classic as well and it really reads like a hugh grant 90s movie and if thats not enough to pull you in idk what will tbh

Imprimatur by Closer (22k, au)

Mike was raised to believe Imprint was a life-changing event for those few lucky enough to experience it. Harvey was raised to believe it was a form of mental illness. When it actually happened, neither of them noticed.

this goes absolutely crazy. one of those fics where you read it and you almost want to throw your phone at the wall because the characters could make it so easy if they werent so stupid (but in a good way of course) but the way it was written, you feel the depth of the soulmate bond and why its so important (which a lot of soulmate aus forget to do loll) but goes down like an expensive and delicious dinner :)

afternoon reads (10k+)

Sony SRF-39FP by @frivoloussuits (11k+, canon-adjacent)

Anita Gibbs won’t settle for Mike, not when there are name partners within her reach. She offers only one deal– two years, no other charges against anyone else in the firm, as long as Harvey Specter turns himself in. And even as Donna and Jessica and Louis and Mike beg him not to, he jumps on the grenade. “Time to get busy living or get busy dying,” he remarks, and Mike gives a small chuckle. Then Harvey smirks, straightens his suit jacket, and strides into FCI Danbury.

“I can’t believe they’re trying to lock you in a box and forget about you,” Mike sighs as he leaves.

“Well, as long as you don’t forget me, I figure I’ll survive.”

“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but forgetting’s never been my strong suit.

cw for depersonalization and desc of solitary confinement, very very heavy but the way mike is there throughout everything makes my heart twinge. i really dont know how to describe this fic at all but its really good. it makes me cry a lot. also made me start listening to jazz which- uh

Here at the end of all things by @tattooedsiren (10k, au)

When he arrives at the Pearson Hardman building the lights are dimmed and the floor is deserted. His feet carry him to Harvey's office even though he expects it to be empty. Because Harvey probably fled the city via helicopter or teleporter or sheer force of will. But when he approaches the office he can see that Harvey is there. He has moved the couch so that it now faces the floor to ceiling windows and Mike silently sits beside Harvey, joins him in looking down at the chaos engulfing the city below. [Apocalypse AU]

I LOVE APOCALYPSE FICS UP UP UP badass!harvey makes me bark, but im a really big fan of people who find happiness in the worst circumstances and this fic does it so so so well. reminds me a lot of tlou episode like 2? the one with the strawberries. please this is what i revisit when i miss marvey and i dont have a lot of time because the world and the characters are jsut so delicious!!!

quick reads (1k+)

This Love is Silent by kim47 (8k, canon-compliant)

She should have known. She had known, that something was off, at least. She knew he was hiding something. She just never imagined it could be this. Despite Harvey's warnings, Mike tells Rachel the truth about everything. She's shocked, naturally, and more than a little angry, but she agrees to keep his secret, and even to date him. So when they break up, Harvey goes into damage-control mode.

RACHEL!! HELLO RACHEL!! im always up for smart and discerning rachel (this shows up in of all the gin joints too btw!!!) this runs realistic to me because it shows that rachelxmike arent some hopelessly wrong for each other couple, they have good and bad times. this feels more real to me than other fics bc its not like the world conspires for marvey to be apart, its just life. i know this makes it sound so sad, and it is, but trust me: this is really really really good i love this so much

an archive of harvey specter's expressions by @frivoloussuits (2k, canon-compliant)

Five old expressions that Mike rediscovers in new contexts once he and Harvey are (finally) together, and one that he sees for the first time. Alternatively titled “An Ode to Gabriel Macht’s Face.”

this was written for me. this is literally me. writing fic because gabriel macht is too pretty, like this fic is literally for me. a lot of peering at him to get this fic as masterfully written as it is, and i thank you author everyday for it. to me, this reads like it's been written with love and care and true adoration (Truly, like Mike)

Coffee-Cart Client Privilege by @frivoloussuits (7k, au)

Mike runs a coffee cart. The coffee cart.

"Why not? They're too big and dense to be a snack." So are you, Mike thinks, and yet.

IM SORRY I KEEP RECCING FRIVOLOUS SUITS THEYRE MY FAVOURITE WRITER IN THIS FANDOM HFBKABFDKHFBHKDSA this has the hand-wavy logic the show has itself but mike's internal monologue in this one is one of the best ive ever read and the way mike's integrated in the offices is just so well-done ahhhh

Objection by yeah its frivoloussuits again i feel bad tagging them like 7 times (2k, canon-adjacent)

When Mike announces he’s leaving, Harvey plans to hide the jagged pieces of his broken heart deep inside, where no one will ever find them. His heart would like to object.

BIGG fan of physical hurt/comfort!!!! also big fan of people absolutely freaking out in the hospital in fics, it makes me bounce of the wall!! very short but the angst and love really hits you quick and leaves you on the floor gasping for air. very good (also cant prove this but im very sure this is a scrubs reference.t hanks)

Excerpts From The Gospel of Harvey Specter, edited by Michael "Forever Awesome" Ross, 2011, 1st Ed, by @rcmclachlan (7k, canon compliant)

Mike can totally read people. Well, most people. Some people. Or maybe just Harvey, who's pretty much an open book.

this one's really funny! it doesent follow direct prose and instead plays a lot with the setting its in (where mike's a documenter of harvey) and its just so funny and adorable. has a lot of heart too, it isn't just crack or anything but you really feel everything mike does as he writes all this, read this!!1

One More Sleepless Night by @sal_si_puedes (9k, au)

Soul Bonds are one-sided – there’s usually mutual affection, but only one party feels the crippling need to be together as often as possible. If separated at length from their love, that party becomes crushed by longing, panic, and sheer hopelessness, and so it is illegal to forcibly keep Soulmates apart. Some days, Harvey Specter hates the Bond that skews his judgement and weakens his resolve, and he fears what would happen if anyone in his world ever discovers he is so compromised. He certainly never planned to disclose the Bond for the first time in the middle of Anita Gibbs’ office, in a last-ditch attempt to invalidate the deal sending Mike to prison.

HSDGFHSDKGHRLKGHK THIS FIC. i love fics that use more than just prose to tell their stories (see above fic) and this does my favourite thing that soulmate aus do, which is where they integrate in-universe explanations for the phenomenon. the amount of work and dedication put into this fic makes it absolutely sing and was absolutely lovely!!

also pspspsps

golden like the daffodils by @mini-mart (2k, canon-compliant)

Poetry holds meaning, for anyone who reads it. It obscures and dances around the literal and metaphorical, because it’s imbued with so much of something that it overflows out of any definition. It can make someone mad, or lovesick, or aroused, and the reactions would be absolutely warranted. Mike is poetry, to Harvey. - Harvey Specter could be a good politician, as he believes in pragmatism over poetry. He won't let his progress fall apart, won't let someone knock it down. And then someone unceremoniously cracks open a suitcase at his feet. Or: Harvey, pretty boys and poetry.

yeah yeah i wrote this yeah yeah self promo smth smth

there's a lot more that isn't here but i'll probably write a new one when i go for a deep dive through the ship tags again :3

^^ ao3 etiqutte applies! if you like the fic, kudos and comment and bookmark!! show your love! happy reading marveys! my gift to u :3

[kaijumilf]

FOB8 SLEUTHING

i need everyone to know i’m losing my mind about the fob8 ARG thing they’ve got going on right now. and i need you all to know that the date January 1st is so extremely important.

so there is a field of dreams quote popping up,  a baseball movie. the only song i can think of with an explicit baseball reference is Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown.

so, if you happen to go to the youtube playlists on their channel to find the playlist for Folie, you’ll notice that one: all playlists have been updated within a week ago. but more importantly you’ll notice that two: all of the songs on the Folie playlist have had their description edited to say released on 01-01-2008

and no. there is no way this is correct. the album was recorded in the summer and as we all know, released on December 10th.

THEN, if you went on the website to sign up for the postcard thing, youll have noticed the Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldnt Get Sued reference with the lyrics “Do not open before Christmas”.

So imagine my shock at the moment i went to check the description on the From Under The Cork Tree playlist and, sure enough, its been changed in the description of all those songs as well to January 1st. Again. this is very incorrect.

I dont know what this means, i doubt anything will be released on that day. However, Something is going to happen i fucking bet on it. Theres probably more clues and references im missing and maybe someone already beat me to this but. i thought this was important to share just in case.

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Im real nervous main tagging this because ive said my main peace and i dont wanna clog the tag up, but i will say after some context given i have a couple more thoughts?

tw// SA, r//pe mention, etc.

This will be a controversial statement. Me personally, i dont really honestly care? About what he said? It was eight years ago and he hasnt repeated the actions so i dont honestly and truly care what he did eight years ago, he was 19 then hes like 26 now theres honestly and truly a BIG maturity distance between 19 and 26, but also it was. Eight years ago? Thats all i have to say on that?

I Also dont really care for how it was brought to light, from what ive heard from pt speakers the expose was done by someone whos publicly anti towards the Brazilian CCs and ive heard they've dug up some dumb things about pac that werent "hot" enough to get trending i guess and definitely werent condemnable enough to get him cancelled, so it's honestly and truly in my heart something i see as being done in bad faith.

Alongside this, ive seen translation screenshots from one of the "victims" (not sure her stance on being called this so its in quotes) stating she does NOT want to be aligned with these allegations and has changed her username and profile picture because she honestly doesnt wanna be involved and doesnt want it being spread around, this is something else i view as bad faith and if anyone was affected by this then its the best thing to do as they wish, this not only affects the person being called out but also their victim negatively, especially if the victims profile is easily attached to their real life and especially when the victim is a female victim of assault or rape or anything like that, i hate to say it but as an afab person ive seen it firsthand that thats honestly the culture surrounding assault victims, and most people dont want that being brought up or put out in the public. Im a victim myself - people view you differently, it affects platonic and romantic relationships, it affects jobs, you are actively hurting the victim by spreading this if they dont want you to do so and arent prepared for that to be spread around.

From what ive seen, some people are condemning Forever for getting a lawyer - i dont view this as him being automatically guilty. I view this as him getting a lawyer because this person on twitter has been actively harassing not just him but all the brazilian CCs on the QSMP. This is harassment, the case against them will hold up in court and Forever has said he will speak about this more when everything is said and done

Alongside this, i will say im unhappy with Forever specifically for his statement on the situation. It wasnt handled the way we wouldve liked it, but it also wasnt handled via ukelele, it wasnt handled the worst way it could've been. Ive heard pt speakers say it was kind of formal, there was some slang in there but overall i've read the translated statement and to me it sounds more like a legal statement than anything - he mentioned having a lawyer, chances are the lawyer helped him write it. To me it doesnt sound like anything he'd fully say which is why i was so put off by it at first but this makes more sense to me honestly, i dont know if anyone would agree with this.

TL;DR

All in all, i think its a shitty situation but nothing to condemn Forever over. I ask people be thoughtful regarding the girl affected, and dont spread shit around with her name or profile attached to it unless she states otherwise. It was handled badly on Forever's end and blew up WAY too fast on twitter.

I've generally seen people be well behaved on here, ive seen some strong statements but otherwise i like to think we're better than twitter.

This probably wont be my last post on this as we get more on the situation over the next couple days, but this is my main thoughts right now. I'm still choosing to remain neutral, but more mixed than anything.

[ackermanbitch]

Teenage Dirtbag (Peter Parker x Fem!Reader) Part 6.5?

a/n: so this is honestly just filler (which is why it's so SHORT) before the part of the fic that takes place during the beginning of homecoming. i dont see the point in writing for the rest of civil war when realistically this is as far as reader would be involved. also not using (y/n) bc i dont like it anymore :D

warnings: arguing?? but it's kind of funny, reader being very much tony's daughter and repressing very real and important emotions

pt1, pt2, pt3, pt4, pt5

word count: 730 (augh its so short im sorry, next chapter will be the normal length dw )

"Ross wants you in juvie, and honestly, I can't totally blame him! You were assisting war criminals. War. Criminals."

The teen groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose and trying to lean as far away from the boy sitting next to her, wondering why the hell he chose to sit right there when there was an entire private plane for him to roam. "Why didn't you have this conversation with me before I left?" She whispered angrily, adjusting the phone in her hand to speak directly into the microphone.

Regardless of where Peter sat, he would've heard Tony's yapping through the phone in response to being interrupted during a lecture.

"Oh I'm sorry my scolding doesn't line up with your schedule young lady, but this is the only time I could fit in to talk to you, what between all the meetings I'm having in an attempt to keep you out of jail!"

"Can't you, I don't know- tell them I happened to be going for a-... a nice stroll? Walked into the crossfire by mis-" She stumbled over her words, eyes darting to Peter who snorted at her idea before she even finished. He quickly cleared his throat, head turning away so quickly she thought he might've pulled something.

Tony brought his palm up to his forehead, some measly attempt to soothe his growing migraine, "This is not a joke, we're talking about you potentially doing prison time-"

"I've hardly done anything deserving a real charge Dad, they just think I'm going to do something and I obviously won't, seeing as my team of 'war criminals' are in fucking Alcatraz-"

"One, you need to watch your damn language and two, you think I don't know that? Of course I think these allegations are a load of bullshit, it doesn't make it any easier to shut them down." Tony sighed, checking the time on his phone before bringing it back to his ear. "Listen, I have to go, call me when you land and don't let Happy fall asleep. Can't have you two teenagers unsupervised on my private plane."

She glanced at Happy's snoring figure on the other side of the jet, "Yeah, sure, he's wide awake. Love you, bye." She deadpanned, hanging up before Tony could finish reciprocating the sentiment.

She may have forced a mask of indifference, even carelessness, when faced with the consequences but behind all that, her brain felt like a fucking circus. A circus with multiple tornado sirens going off, fires and mass hysteria. Oh, and every clown wore her face. Her stupid, 'rebel against dad' at any chance, war criminal assisting face. She'd rather end up in prison than have to face her dad again. What if he never forgives her for this, what if he never moves on, what if this isn't like every other time she's done something stupid, this could change the course of her li-

"You're not.. actually gonna go to jail, right?" Peter interrupted her raging thoughts, giving her quite the worried stare.

She sighed, fiddling with her phone, "No, he would never let that happen. Not with his troupe of lawyers. I'll get let off with a 'hefty warning'," She emphasized with air quotes, "AKA forty torturous minutes of Cap telling me how I need to make better choices. Though he's stuck in the clink right now so I don't know."

She tried to hide the slight shake to her voice, how it sounded more like she was convincing herself rather than explaining it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Don't tell Mr. Stark I said this but uh- Y'know, he's Captain America, he'll probably break out of there in no time."

She slowly turned her head to look at him, slowly letting a smile break out across her face. "Yeah, maybe. He's pretty crazy. Suuuch a rebellious guy, very anti-government."

Peter shrugged with a hopeful smile, "I don't know, this whole thing started over him not wanting to sign a peace treaty, that seems extremely anti-government."

"I guess you're right Parker, as always." She grinned, ignoring his flushed cheeks at her compliment and letting her eyes drift to Happy.

"You got a marker?"

--

taglist: @preciousbabypeter @lily-sinclair-2006 @b-barnes04 @ink-stained-eyes

[misc-musings]

going through pete wentz’s old livejournal posts bc of the masterdoc and im still in awe that he wrote SIX different songs from this one entry. SIX SONGS from this one paragraph he was crazy for this. For reference, this post has quotes/references to the following FOB and PATD songs which therefore are all somehow partially from this post: The Calendar, I’ve got all this ringing in my ears and none in my fingers, Hum Hallelujah, Kaleidoscope Eyes, The (After)life of the Party, and I’m like a Lawyer. maybe 2 of these are a stretch but thats still solidly 4 songs from this one post. Post is under the read more. I’ve bolded the references.

sunday, august 27, 2006

“plain jane and the boy next door.

there is one single pair of eyes that could ever decode any of this. put another “x” on the calendar. summer is on its deathbed. there is simply nothing worse than knowing the ending- that no matter what curve balls or uphill come your way- it still turns out the same. this year its stripes and pumps, last year it was dancefloors and you. she keeps talking, i keep staying the same. did you ever change your mind about someone and then just realize it was a fucking haircut. put me in a frame on your wall, just to keep me out of trouble. i gotta say i admire bob dylan for being honest about his new record. noone ever is. its like when the ad campaign rolls out everyone is smiling and at their best even if they are not sure. an affectionate friend told me everything i ever needed to know about anything. “freeze! put down that fucking laptop!”. everything is always either digging a hole or digging yourself out of one. and just when you have it all figured out you should just sift through your pile of “never again"s. quite a collection. blow off the dust. im sure they will be worth something to someone sometime. its buzzing in the back of your head and out of your fingertips. pull back the shade- the road outside of my house is paved with good intentions. but it is hell on the undercarriage of the car so we’re gonna have to hire a construction crew. i wonder if anyone else things of you as much as i do, even you.

“If I should call you up, invest a dime And you say you belong to me and ease my mind Imagine how the world could be, so very fine So happy together…”

a mutual misunderstanding. kaleidoscope eyes sparkle on pillows in the dark. and i dont care what anyone thinkgs of that except me. put the love on hold, anticipation is on the other line and excitement called while you were out. imagine me and you…..”

[almightycrisprat]

sometimes i just kinda feel like tossing out a random super depressing paragraph into the air but as im now in my tumblr phase ig ill just do it here today at school my friends got a bit annoyed at me bc i kept making ace attorney references in the most mundane of situations and so i tried stopping but i couldnt. my whole life just revolves around these adorable fictional lawyers and while i absolutely love them to death and i enjoy doing what i do everyone dislikes it and it just feels so lonely and i wish i didnt do it. even the people who are able to tolerate my bullshit the most are getting sick of it. i wish i could just talk about normal things like a normal person. like ye youve always got those random inspirational quotes of like "be weird be you" and shit but like it doesnt matter at all because if you do actually be yourself those same people are gonna hate you for it. its killing me inside (eva reference?!?!?!?!?) that i cant just act like a normal person and cant just shut up. i dont even know what i could talk about apart from my interests during chemistry today as well my teacher was checking whether we were all wearing our blazers. she was like ok everyones wearing their blazers but *you* there need to put your hair up. for a split second it felt like everyone was looking at me. the absolute terror. i felt like dying right there and then. decomposing on this stupid tall science stool because the teacher had acknowledged me and there were people looking at me. it sounds like nothing but its so much of a gut punch. spent the rest of the lesson just trying to calm myself down rocking on the stool and pressing my nails against my fingers and fiddling with my scrunchie but that didnt do much. just left a couple bruises on my fingers. and then ofc as soon as the lesson ended i went to lunch with my friends and yk. they got a bit annoyed bc of the paragraph above. why am i like this why cant i talk to a human being like a human why is everyone so scary why cant i do something right in my life i just i kinda just wish i werent me because being anything else but me would be better than me that sounded super edgy lmao help im having a crisis i hope none of my knowingthings see this but knowing my mutuals and crap they probably will ;-; and it doesnt help that like my whole class hates me or at least doesnt like me so every single morning im just really awkwardly sitting there as they walk in, some of them saying hi or good morning or most of them ignoring my existence. sometimes i feel like im exagerating but then i remember the time i walked into the class and the whole damn choir of them sighed. truly a crisp moment fr

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 The lawyer mentions hiv+/prostitute thing about Mikey *huge gasp* ‘lindsay you are a heartless bitch. She doesn’t just have a horrible haircut, she also has no heart. What the fuck? Id never forgive her. SHE BROUGHT UP RAGE INTO THIS? I hate mike this season but that was uncalled for. Id go to court, fuck lindsay’ ‘Look at Brian and Justin working out together! (Justin says he works out so guys can check out his ass) and THATS why him and Brian make perfect sense as a couple. Why didn’t they give me more of Brian and Emmett? This is a fucking crime because them as best friends would be perfection’ and we are at Brian/Ben/Mikey little showdown at Woodys ‘oh fuck you Mike. Brian is your best friend only when it fits you. Why is he helping her? I mean dont get me wrong I said the same fucking thing because fuck her but I had better reasons. HOW IS BRIAN THE ONLY ONE REASONABLE ABOUT THE CUSTODY OF THE BABY?’ Mikey says that theres times where he doesnt know who Brian is anymore and my brother absolutely loses it. *pauses tv* ‘WELL FUCK YOU TOO! *gets up and walks to the tv* how dare he? The Brian HE knows was drugged up 24/7, drunk all the time, working 24/7 and never allowing anyone near him. Except Mikey. Poor sweet little mikey. Who is a grown man acting 5. I need a fucking smoke. Fuck this and fuck him too and *looks at me* fuck you too while we’re at it’ then he left his cigarette outside and stormed inside 2 minutes later and started pacing back and forth ‘nah, fuck him! Change is good! He changed for better! Im sick of everyone not seeing that! He only likes Brian and how Brian has changed when it suits him. If he needs cash or help or whatever, Brian is the best person ever. The second Brian comes at him with logic he doesnt like? He’s the worst and he doesn’t know him. And yet, whenever Brian’s life would not fit Mike, he’d bug him about changing. HE LITERALLY TOLD HIM LAST EPISODE TO CHANGE AND BUY A HOUSE! But i bet my fucking ass if he bought a house, Mike would be all *says in a mocking childish voice* i dont even know him, my brian would never leave the loft. Fuck him! *takes a really deep breath cause all this was said REALLY fast -and i deserve an award for keeping track- and then sits down and looks at me* sorry for saying fuck you but also fuck you for bringing that whiney 4 foot tall baby into my life’ ‘YES EMMETT! THIS IS MY EMMETT! Never change baby boy! This is making me a little angry at netflix for my wrist.’ ‘Theyre really gonna split that baby up 3 ways? Fucking morons. Literally nothing about this says they care about the baby. It’s just their ego. I hate them all’ ‘deb retiring is so fucking stupid. I mean yeah, she deserves rest but this is stupid. Fuck you Mike. He always puts his foot in his mouth and then comes back with his tail between his legs apologizing. Fuck him, i hate him right now’ ‘I KNEW BRI BRI WOULD REVIVE BABYLON! Look at them back in the backroom. Never change Blondie! I fucking love my boys’ Btw the cast was an inconvenience like 16 different times when he tried to make a fist to be ally for Rosie/Em/Brian and once at the end when he said fuck starbucks. He broke his right wrist so now he’s dramatic since he’s right handed.

Lindsay is so awful this season. Mel isn't much better. AND MIKEY IS THE WORST OF ALL THREE. I can't.

I'm just pulling these quotes:

fuck you Mike. Brian is your best friend only when it fits you.

how dare he? The Brian HE knows was drugged up 24/7, drunk all the time, working 24/7 and never allowing anyone near him. Except Mikey. Poor sweet little mikey. Who is a grown man acting 5. I need a fucking smoke.

nah, fuck him! Change is good! He changed for better! Im sick of everyone not seeing that! He only likes Brian and how Brian has changed when it suits him. If he needs cash or help or whatever, Brian is the best person ever. The second Brian comes at him with logic he doesnt like? He’s the worst and he doesn’t know him. And yet, whenever Brian’s life would not fit Mike, he’d bug him about changing. HE LITERALLY TOLD HIM LAST EPISODE TO CHANGE AND BUY A HOUSE! But i bet my fucking ass if he bought a house, Mike would be all *says in a mocking childish voice* i dont even know him, my brian would never leave the loft. Fuck him! *takes a really deep breath cause all this was said REALLY fast -and i deserve an award for keeping track- and then sits down and looks at me* sorry for saying fuck you but also fuck you for bringing that whiney 4 foot tall baby into my life’

GUYS GALS NONBINARY PALS HE GETS IT. Your brother just summed up the Brian and Mikey experience. I fully and completely agree. Except for the fuck you for bringing that whiney 4 foot tall baby into his life. Because bless you for that.

I KNEW THE CAST WOULD FUCK UP HIS ALLY FIST. I KNEW IT.

[braverytattoos]

HI!! OMG! Tan pants....that's hilarious cause it's such an easy mistake, but I love it!!! I saw someone in Target once in flesh colored pants and did a triple take. At least it was dark in the bar? Ha!

You had to have done something for the first time recently and didn't even know you did...as simple as me changing out the lightbulbs in my ceiling fan.

I suppose enjoying ANY of Liam's lyrics are controversial to some...but we know he didn't write them, so nothing wrong with enjoying good music.

My favorite Harry lyric atm is "you smile like it's no big deal" but quote, is not really a quote, I just get a case of the giggles every time he tries to pronounce a name from the crowd.

Ok, enough jibber jabber. Can you tell I've had some Coke (the drink, not the line) that's been in my fridge since thanksgiving? As someone who's never had a drop of coffee ever, the caffeine does things to me. Hehe

Let's ask YOU some questions!

If you could pick a day to relive again and again, which would it be? 

Are you embarrassed of your Google search history? 

What’s your favorite Louis quote/lyric? 

Enjoy your day!!!

all great thoughts and points. the lyrics you picked out are SO GOOD as well, i agree that they're amazing. HAHAHAHA i love how you felt the need to clarify which coke, no judgement here 😂 do you have tea? or no hot beverages whatsoever?

hmmm i'd say either my TMH show or my harry show in august. it was such good times, honestly any 1D or harry show is something i'd want to relive.

HAHA YES. i feel like i search the simplest shit, like i search up really specific stuff too like i think yesterday i searched "how is acid/base balance maintained by the kidneys?" and also just smutty fics i forget the title of and put in like "louis tomlinson famous lawyer dates twink harry styles and they fuck in a pink robe"

honestly for louis i dont think i can choose, but since you're making me im going to go simple and say "only the brave" ALSOOOO fun fact but idk if you know when louis tweeted bravery? but i got that tattooed on me cause of that and also personal reasons happening at the time 🥺

[massivetyrantduck]

We're back! Incorrect quotes part 3 let's go

Warriors, texting in the group chat: I wonder what Apple shots would look like?

Steam(im experimenting with names for him): *Sends a picture of of a syringe with an apple slice shoddily edited inside*

Legend: *Sends a picture of a shot glass with an Apple poorly drawn inside*

Hyrule: *Sends picture of person dunking a Basketball into the hoop but replaced the basketball with a poorly resized apple*

Warriors: I hate all of you.

~

Steam: It’s nice to be wanted, you know?

Legend: Not by the law!

~

First: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game...

Wind , nodding: Knife Monopoly.

First: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

~

Twilight: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.

Legend: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.

Sky: Fuck you.

~

First, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK??

First, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW!

~

Time: Wake me up-

Steam: Before you go go

Wild: When September ends

Warriors: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

~

Time: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!

Wild: Bet you I can!

Steam: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

~

Time: Guys where did Wild go?

Twilight: They got arrested.

Time: How the hell-

Wild: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

~

Wind : I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here.

Hyrule: Sky is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Wind .

Sky: I feel like Wind is the more responsible one of us two though.

Wind : We are both 70% of each others' impulse control.

Sky: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.

~

Wind : Oh, my God. Do you know what this is?

Time: It’s a book. There’s a lot of those in here, this is a library.

~

Legend: Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.

~

Twilight: So... what’s goin’ on?

Steam: You want the long version or the short version?

Twilight, hesitantly: The short one, I guess?

Steam: Shit’s fucked.

Twilight: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.

~

Hyrule: I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under.

~

Time: Hey, Joe said he's coming over this afternoon.

Hyrule: Cool.

Time: Do you know who Joe is?

Hyrule: JOE MAMA!

Wind , not even looking up from their phone: Damn, that backfired.

~

Time: I have an idea.

First: A good idea?

Time: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

~

Legend: We’re about to do the tazer challenge. You want in?

Twilight: What's the tazer challenge?

Steam: We taze eachother, then drink. (no Steam my hc is that ur 17 and my hc is drinking age in hyrule is 18 dont underage drink)

Twilight: How do you win?

Legend: What are you, a lawyer? You want in or not?

~

Warriors: Do you have a bobby pin?

First: Yeah. *searches in their hair*

First: Oh, no, wait. I’m not a nine-year-old girl.

~

First: Some of us are still ‘it’ from a childhood game of tag.

Steam: way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.

~

Time: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Hyrule: Mine just says "Hyrule no."

Time: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

~

Twilight, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.

Legend: Do you think other people can’t hear you?

~

Hyrule: My assistance will be an act of beneviolence.

Legend: ...Don’t you mean benevolence?

Hyrule: No.

Legend: *proud mentor noises*

~

Legend: I'll offer you some friendly advice-

Wind : I don't want your advice.

Legend: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.

~

Hyrule: You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun.

Hyrule: That's why I own TEN guns.

Hyrule: Just in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.

~

Time: Stressed.

Four: Depressed.

Twilight: Possessed.

First: Obsessed.

Wind : Impressed.

Warriors: Chicken breast.

Everyone: ...What?

Warriors: I just wanted to join in.

~

Hyrule: Good morning.

Wind : Good morning.

Wild: Good morning.

Warriors: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Four: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

~

Warriors: Be right back, gonna hit the toilet for a quick power sob.

~

Four(Blue and Vio): BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm.

Time: That is not something you actually have installed.

Four: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION.

~

Time: If I run and leap at First, they will most certainly catch me in their arms.

Time, running towards First: Coming in!

First: No! I’m holding coffee!

First: *Drops coffee and catches Time*

~

Time: You know you can die from that, right?

Sky: *smoking a cigarette* That’s the point.

Wind : *drinking alcohol* We’re trying to speed this up.

Legend: *Eating raw cookie dough and nodding*

[wiihtigo]

karamatsu.. for the ask game thing

send me a character and i’ll list:

hi rj (wave emoji)

favorite thing about them

i love cringefail guys. i love funnypathetic guys. he was my favorite when i first watched the show and hes still my favorite now. Umm its literally his gap moe swag i think its so funny and cute when he drops his cool guy facade for a moment bcuz he gets scared or awkward or sth/ the karamatsu the the brothers skit kind of sums up everything i like about karamatsu (hes really nice to his precious family, hes too timid to say no to people so he gets taken advantage of, how he acts like a BITCH at the end and instantly throws choro under the bus, him wailing on the roof about how much he wants to kill them (his precious family)). to condense my answer its because hes funny.

least favorite thing about them

that one part in mt takao where he held the audience captive and bent over seductively and the shot held on his ass for like 3 full seconds

favorite line

i quote these in real life pretty often

brOTP

like i mentioned in the oso post i really like choukei and also kinniku but i have to give a special shoutout to IRO i was so obsessed with the ichimatsu incident it does so much for ichimatsus character being that your first peek into his inner monologue is just constant anxious screaming. and also since ichimatsu has been shown to be particularly harsh and evil towards karamatsu the revelation that he actually secretly looks up to his big brother and thinks hes COOL? and then karamatsu covering for him when he has every right to use this as a way to get revenge for how ichimatsu treats him all the time..but ofc he wouldnt do that he loves him precious brothers..and ichi is like WHY IS HE BEING SO NICE I HAVE TO KILL MYSELF. OR HIM .Well theyre my friends. i just really really love the dynamic of really loud openly affectionate guy and his severely autistic hates being talked to breathed on touched brother who tells him to die every day and him just being like "i understand brother. i love you too (visible sparkles)" and gets a piano thrown at his head. And then when he gets drunk hes overcome with the urge to feed karamatsu whatever hes got in his hand because hes so starving hes going to die if he doesnt eat right NOW karamatsu you have to eat Pleeeease im tryign to help you karamatsu youre my brother i love you eat this water

aside from the brothers i think him and totoko are besties

OTP

i like karabita :)

also him and the convenience store owner he fell in love with in the lawyer drama cd

nOTP

cant think of anyone

random headcanon

he has a little daughter named Hoshi

unpopular opinion

i guess just the general karamatsu angst sadstuck. i dont think we need to call cps on this 20-somethng year old because he was a victim of cartoon violence

song i associate with them

baby im a star - prince the most karamatsu song of all time. just take a listen

owner of a lonely heart - yes the next most karamatsu song of all time.

who do you want to be - oingo boingo these are all songs on my friends kara playlist but THIS ONE . was a koby suggestion. just look at the lyrics and hold my hands and understand

favorite picture of them

[mde1011]

some quotes i jotted down from that wonderful stream of tommy‘s (some lore spoilers)

“do you smoke sam” “all the time”

“i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

“have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

“shecure is a hard word how do you say it? secure? shecure?” “...secure...?”

“we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be pog”

“THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

“i’ll load it up king- ive started saying king a lot” “yeah yeah i’ve noticed i like it” “you are admittedly a king sam so”

“strong man” “how does TWIG rhyme with STRONG??????”

“you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

“....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

“cAPTAIN PUFFY IS YOUR LAWYER????” “she IS? I HAVE A LAWYER THATS NOT BIG Q OR BIG LAW?”

“DONT TELLL RANBOO IM UPSET IM NOT UPSET IM FINE IM FINE”

“............howd the talk with the lawyer go.....sounded like it went pretty well” “sam. samuel” “oh god what’s happening you called me samuel”

“gotta go get some la-piss”

“come and hang out i am live it will be nice come and hang out kings” “o-oh you just pinged the WHOLE discord wow-“ “maybe vikkstar will come”

“doNT SAY YOURE LOVING THIS CHAT I AM IN PERIL”

“he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

“well i’ve moved now, KING”

“what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with tubbo and ranboo they used the word angst a lot”

“yeah yeah yeah i bench”

“sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

“i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

“i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

“THIS IS WHO I NEEDED RIGHT NOW IM IN PERIL I AM ANGRY- oh wait that’s wrong that’s wrong-“ “angry is different from angsty”

“i need a lawyer and they need to be big and strong and angry and ready to fight”

“what’s wrong with killing somebody?” “.........HEY nononononono don’t think i forget when you locked me in there you- you PSYCO FREAK” “you should talk to your lawyer about that”

📷

“i can read minds” “what am i th-“ “tits” “what”

“shUT UP PUSSY”

“you just- you just do NOT have blue balls”

“you think this guy will win?” “SHUT THE FUCK UP” “I LIKE THIS GUY”

“STOP STARING AT MY TIE YOU ARE OBJECTIFYING ME” “I DONT MEAN TO-“ “U ARE-“ “ITS A WONDERFUL TIE-“

“i can’t look away it’s just so-“

“i’m under the influence of big cock”

“it’s meeee big cock man”

“i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

“you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

“i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

“STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

“at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

“is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

“.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

“i heard....i heard there is a big cock in town....”

“why did you say that to me jesus” “did you just come for the cock?”

“nOOOO JESUS JESUS GO AWA-“

“okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

“i- i just looked to my right and the entire chat is just ‘E E E E E I’”

“sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

“please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

“why is there an anus in my tie?”

“what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

“jack mana-bitch”

“whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

<Foolish_Gamers was blown up by awesamdude> “hahahahgahah” “wHY ARE YOU DEAD??? WHY IS OUR LAWYER DEAD” “that- killing jesus is a big no-no”

“jesus is back ayyyy” “three whole days ayyy he’s back from the cave” “that was three whole minutes” “he speedran it” “why didn’t he do that in the bestseller?” “are you referring to the best seller called ‘the bible’?”

“i’d be an antivax landlord”

“i’m real like are-kansas” “that’s not REAL” “it IS”

“you’re projecting your own problems onto me, puss” “wHAT THE FUCK”

“i just don’t want you to girlboss me”

“i am the girlboss and i will gatekeep” “you are a girlboss”

“we will join vc two and then we’re gonna gatekeep them and the we’re gonna gaslight them”

“that’s such a funny joke man-“ “it’s not a joke. dollywood is real”

“does anyone have cocaine?” “ooooh i remember when you did cocaine last night awesamdude”

“jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

“can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

“you know i fuck with satan”

“i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

“are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

“even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

“the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

“......jack manifold has four balls?”

“......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”

<Quackity fell from a high place>

<awesamdude> BIG COCK DOWN

[neverdoingmuch]

Wait cql lawyer/law school AU

i got you my pal dont worry!!

law school, im gonna be honest and say i know like nothing about law or law school so pls ignore any inconsistencies or inaccuracies

lwj goes to law school and he is definitely the top student in his class. they’ve been there for like a month and everyone already knows he’s gonna be the best

his one and only competition is this dude called wei wuxian but lwj isn’t particularly worried about him

so far they’re still in the stage of the course where they do the fun things to sucker people into doing the class for the semester so there’s been some practise debates and arguments and stuff in their tutorial classes

wei wuxian has that Charisma and like yeah all of his arguments are perfect but also he has an amazing smile and people are like yes i can trust him 

(he’s definitely the sort to be like hm, the easy way to argue this case would be to quote some laws and use precedence to justify this but that’s boring)

lwj is also good at that sort of stuff because his arguments are perfect and everything is so perfectly researched that there should be no ground at all for someone to lodge a counterargument

(wei wuxian manages somehow and it makes lwj so mad)

but that’s whatever lwj thinks,, a lot of people join law thinking it’s gonna be like the tv shows and books and then get completely blindsided when it comes to the rote learning part or like the actual laws 

and for all of wwx’s confidence, lwj hasn’t actually seen wwx so much as touch the textbook/s and he always studies in the law library so he knows that wwx has probably never even been there bc he hasn’t seen him even once (why’s he looking? bc he needs to see which books wwx uses to study,, bc there has to be something going on there,, obviously)

then they do their first like proper written assignment and lwj and wwx tie for the highest scores and now lwj has a Rival and he refuses to lose to someone who thinks that putting a ‘-us’ sound at the end of a word makes it latin (did wwx say habeas corpus and then point at a soft drink and go  sprite-us can-us,,, maybe,,,,)

anyway! lwj and wwx are kinda rivals for the top spot and it’s one of those situations where one test lwj wins by a point but then the next test wwx gets full marks and they just keep exchanging the top spot in class

and this whole time wwx is like The Worst to have in class. he’s always interrupting to ask questions or just straight up not listening and spends the class doodling pictures of rabbits (they’re cute but wwx is terrible and he’s not allowed to make cute drawings)

so after a few months the most horrible thing happens.... they get put together in a project and lwj is like ugh. internally of course but his face is also saying ugh

the first time wwx and lwj get together to work on the project, lwj is prepared with a proper list of tasks to do all nicely split up between the two of them and a schedule for when they should get certain parts done by. 

needless to say, lwj does not expect wwx to be ready, but wwx is definitely on top of things

he rocks up and is like yeah let’s do this, this and this and have them done by this time - basically proposing to do everything that lwj has already written down

and lwj is pleasantly surprised and is like hm maybe i misjudged wwx and decides to like re-evaluate his opinion on him

in doing so he realises that when he’d never seen wwx studying, it wasn’t an exaggeration at all. he’s never seen wwx so much as touch a textbook or spend more than a minute on a laptop doing something that wasn’t minesweeper or solitaire

but wwx is also making all of their deadlines and even adds extra information and resources to their document that could be useful elsewhere and sometimes he shows up to their study sessions and he looks absolutely exhausted

eventually lwj manages to get the truth out and wwx is just like yeah it’s easier to get worse grades than a genius but if you both study and you still get lower grades, it’s not easy,, for jc or for me

so wwx usually studies at night when his brother is asleep and lwj is like that’s bad, you can’t keep that up and just when wwx is about to go off at him lwj is like you can come study at my place

and thus begins the wonderful time where everything is alright and lwj falls in love with wwx

they work really well together and wwx is strangely considerate and nice? when he finds out lwj likes rabbits, he goes out and buys bunny post-it notes for lwj and starts to always bring him a doodle of bunnies every time he comes over. he always gets his work done on time, early even, and his work is always so brilliant and every time wwx smiles at him, lwj feels warm inside etc etc

for a long while lwj is like yes (: this is friendship (: bc he’s never had a crush before but then on the day they submit their project wwx is like hey,, the two of us make a great team,, we should always work together,, now and next year and even when we graduate,, i want to help the innocent people who need our help and i think i’d like it a lot if you joined me and lwj has his oh moment

they get a perfect score on the project of course and even after it finishes, wwx keeps coming over to lwj’s place to study or just hang out and lwj is just falling more and more for wwx each day

they’re best friends now and everyone gets used to seeing them work together on projects and then turn around to try and decimate each other when they’re working one on one and lwj thinks that he might just be the happiest he’s ever been

but then one day wwx doesn’t show up to class. it shouldn’t be strange but wwx has never missed class even once and he ends up hearing from lxc who heard from jgy that wwx was caught sabotaging some other student’s work (the other student was jzxun, who had a fondness for playing devil’s advocate and other than wwx once telling him that his argument was shit, wwx never spoke to him or seemed to know who he was but lwj is a bit too angry to remember that)

he manages to find wwx outside of his dorms as he’s moving out and he’s just like why did you do that? and wwx is like oh y’know,, bc he’s not really sure what’s happening himself,, one second he was at the top of his class and the next he was being brought before a board and being told that he was being expelled but he’s not going to tell lwj that bc lwj would definitely try and stand up for him and then they’d both get expelled

but lwj is furious and just spits out well if our dreams meant so little to you then maybe it’s a good thing you failed now,, bc his mother was a lawyer who took all these little jobs that helped people who actually needed the help and lwj was looking forward to doing that with wwx and he doesn’t even seem to care that now they can’t do that 

wwx flinches and then smiles at him and just cheerily says, that’s me and leaves. he doesn’t look back and lwj doesn’t chase after him.

lwj doesn’t see him again for years (you can do 13 or 5 or however long you feel like)

lwj is a fully licensed lawyer and he’s working for the family company and he spends half of his time working on cases and uses the rest of his time to do like outreach programs where he goes and visits schools and runs sessions on what it’s like to be a lawyer, how to apply, and to provide assistance to any students who decide to study law at uni

and then at one of these programs he meets this kid, wen yuan, who is ridiculously bright and enthusiastic and has a smile that seems oddly familiar

at the end of the second session he comes up to lwj and is like mr. lan, is your name lan wangji? and lwj just says yes, expecting the kid to be a fan of one of his cases or something but then wen yuan is like oh wow! i thought i recognised you from my dad’s photo!

and lwj isn’t expecting much but he asks what the photo looks like and wen yuan pulls out this photo from his pocket and lwj immediately recognises it,, it’s the only photo he has of him and wwx

your father is wei ying? lwj asks him and wen yuan is like yes, hesitates, and then asks, would you like to see him?

and that’s how lwj finds himself following wen yuan to some dinky little office that has a plaque outside that reads wen and wei

(wen ning is the nicest and sweetest person ever and lots of people underestimate him but then he’s an absolute monster on court. he gets up and completely decimates the opponent and then at the end is like (: it was so nice to meet you!! i am baby!! and all that,, you know our boy)

anyway they walk in and wwx turns to greet wen yuan but then he sees lwj and is like woah! you! and he’s not sure whether to hide or go and hug lwj so he just gives him a fist bump,, like a bro,, and immediately wants to shrivel up and die

anyway they get the reunion stuff out of the way, swelling music, tender wrist holding, lots of staring, lwj silently declaring his wholehearted love for wwx and refusing to believe rumours about him again even though he doesn’t actually know what happened, you know how it goes

from wwx’s side of things,, after he got kicked out he went to some small uni. good in its own right but not known for their law program and ended up specialising in family law

the first case he ever won was for the wens to have the right to keep custody of a-yuan and the first case wen ning ever won was to let wwx adopt a-yuan bc i’m soft like that

so wwx has just been kinda vibing,, being a single dad, living with the wens and helping to make that difference he always promised he would

now this isn’t gonna be some au where lwj goes oh my! i must give up my high salary job and work with wwx! bc lwj has been doing good stuff at his current job and for all of his family’s stuffiness, they run a fair and just company 

but! he does end up helping wwx when wwx gets a letter with a bunch of information about the jins and how they’re actually super corrupt and evil (big surprise,,) and how wwx was maybe definitely framed bc he was doing some casual work on the side and stumbled across some bad shit on the jins back in uni

lwj ends up being the one to take the case officially but wwx is definitely the guy leading it and so lwj ends up spending most of his time at the wen-wei office

lwj definitely bonds with wen yuan, who also wants to go into law, and writes him recommendation letters and helps him edit his applications and stuff

(and one day wen yuan is like leaving you was the hardest thing dad ever did and i dont think you appreciated how much he cared about you. he really did think that he annoyed you ‘til the end and lwj is like no! he didn’t! and wen yuan is like yeah i know but you gotta tell him and lwj really does mean to but the time is never right or something like that but also wen yuan is all but calling lwj dad at this point)

anyway they end up going to court, side by side, working as a team just as they promised to do and just as they finish their final day on the case, ended with the jury ruling jgy guilty and wwx’s reputation all but saved, wwx turns around and flings himself at lwj

is he crying? is he laughing? a bit of both tbh but wwx ends up confessing right then and there, still on record and everything (is that how that works??? idk! let’s say it does)

and what can lwj do but make out with him?

did a news crew come in to film the results of this massive court case just to end up with five minutes of wangxian kissing?? maybe! but when it played on tv it meant wwx and lwj didnt have to actually tell anyone they got together

(and does lwj eventually pop the question using wwx’s bad latinification? yes and wwx is too busy laughing to accept at first but he does and they end up being the worst possible tutors for wen yuan as he goes through law school bc they keep being all gross and lovey-dovey and acting like law school is the most romantic place in the world)

[starberry-skies]

bestie what it is community please tell me about it

GASP someone to infodump to okok so. basic knowledge community is ur classic sitcom but!! the twist is that its constantly making fun of sitcom tropes (and itself) its really meta at some points but ill get into that laterrr. it all takes place in a community college and ill just go over the main characters for now bc i work in the morningjsjdjdn

jeff- hes an ex-lawyer w daddy issues and a huge ego. his character is okayyy but def not my fave.

britta- described in the show as an "anarchist cat owner". her heart is always in the right place, but shes just... bad at executing some of her ideas (side note: my favorite quote of hers is "you cant blame him, thats like me blaming owls for how much i suck at analogies")

abed- where to begin. hes the best character (who lowkey started my gender crisis) but he's introduced as "quirky weird kid who makes movie references and movies of his friends". important note is abed is v much hinted to be on the spectrum but they never say it outright,, oh also community was made in like. 2010 so keep that in mind. anyway i could be projecting (i am) but abed just knows everyone and himself really well so he just acts a certain way to make everyone and himself happy. he makes movies thru out the series and it gives a fantastic insight om how he sees the world. he takes movies and tv very seriously and i love him for it <33333

troy- my beloved. hes like... himbo at its finest. he starts off as a dumb self-centered jock but eventually evolves into kind and forgiving air-conditioning repair Man. hes bffs w abed but lets be honest theyre in love. like. ill get into that later djdjdsskejdifjfj

pierce- hes an old man bigot and i hate him. thats all you need to know

shirley- christian single mother who's super passive agressive and guilt-trip-y. i like her character but theres not much else to say abt her?

annie- if youve seen brooklyn 99 then imagine like... a younger amy whos also a (headcanon) lesbian. annie JUST got out of highschool (and a pill addiction) and shes just looking for someone to love. shes really organized and she plans her whole life years in advance and she kinda hates herself for it. she was gonna be in a relationship w jeff but the fans were like,,, no??? theres like a two decade age gap???? so they kinda stopped that.

which brings me to my next point::: Troy And Abed Had A Better Relationship Arc Than Any Of The Straight People And They Weren't Even In A Relationship.

ok im SUPER biased here but stay with me. they have a SONG. they share a favorite SHOW. they DRESS UP LIKE THE BEST FRIENDS FROM THAT SHOW CASUALLY. your honor they are soulmates even platonically. at one point in abeds films, annie looks at the camera and he goes "annie dont 'jim' the camera". but im all of abed's films, troy 'jims' the camera... and abed lets him. this doesn't sound like a lot but TRUST ME theres more (also its now 3am so brain is kinda fuzzy lmao).

ok so we got the cast: plot wise? theres a lot going on. the show suffered a lot of growing pains and was notorious for goin over budget. also the creator/head writer (dan harmon) literally always procrastinated till the last possible second to write scripts (also he sxually hrassed someone but he apologized pretty well apparently). but he was a GENIUS. so much so that when they fired him, the show dropped in quality so drastically that they had to bringing him back. abed was basically his self insert btw and thats why when he did leave abed's character went out the window. dan left for season four, which everone calls the gasleak year, bc al the characters were so fucking out of character. i personally dont think season 4 was that bad but. i can see where ppl are coming from.

whoops i didnt say the plot. ok so the whole thing is jeff, remember hes an EX lawer, apperantly faked his law degree so he has to go to community college to get one. on the way he bonds w a ragtag group of misfits he slowly learns to love. they start as a spanish study group, but by the end theyre a community to save the school.

britta and jeff honestly shouldve been the endgame but they fucked it up when they tried to pair jeff w annie. troy and abed are so fun to watch, everyone else is kinda just there.

i heard one person (i think it was @/peachy-pear is there url??) describe community as "the first four seasons are about troy and abed, and season 5 and 6 are about the lack of troy and abed" which like. yeah exactly.

community gets super meta at some points, taking jabs at itself (someone saying "i was under utilized as a character") or jabs at other shows (abed has a whole rant abt how autism is treated like a "super power" which is really good).

ok im really fucking tired and for dome reason i keep thinking about clips from super mario odyssey so i should proooobably sleep lmao

sorry ab the long post i just. like this show so muchhhhhhh

[detective-gum-chew]

okay okay okay

i know this isnt an orginal idea by any means but roleswap!narumitsu is just so good

so youll have to indulge me because this lives in my head rent free and i want to write it down concretely somewhere (also this gets LONG so ill pop a cut in here)

alright so:

1. at least in my writing of it, this is also a no-dl6/gregory lives au. but as well at that, miles and phoenix didnt go to school together

2. this means that there was nobody to defend phoenix at the class trial (yes i know the money stolen was edgeworths but shhh lets pretend it was someone elses, kay?) this lead to phoenix becoming not only bitter, but somewhat obsessive over the idea of punishing people that do wrong

(if someone can find that quote where phoenix talks about how he could have become a prosecutor because of the trial i will give u a gentle kiss on the forehead) 

3. Edgeworth was raised by Gregory and ends up becoming a defense attorney

4. in this, Von Karma goes down and Franzy is adopted by Gregory, and she assists Miles in his cases. (she can still have a whip, as a treat.)

5. anyway with that set up, lets get into some cases

6. Larry gets accused of Cindys murder, Miles defends with Franzy

7. Lets say Mia was in the crowd of that trial and decided to contact miles, seeing as he appears to be another uncorrupt lawyer and asks him for his help in taking down Redd White

8. He agrees, and she sets a time for him to meet at her office so they can talk. Mia then calls her sister and updates her on how shes going to recruit another person (Redd White hears this)

9. Much like the original case, Mia gets murdered, but this time, Maya isnt here to be blamed. Instead, its Miles himself, as the name that White heard over the phone (so basically we’re speed running to the “defend yourself in court” part)

10. the prosecutor today is Phoenix Wright.

11. but before that lets go into some backstory actually. Phoenix had encountered Mia previously during the Terry Fawles case. He had respected her as a peer, if not for just her determination and deductive skills. (After all, he was young at the time and solely focused on punishing the wicked) After Diego’s poisoning, he had briefly reached out for condolences

12. but anyway, Phoenix had distantly respected Mia, and now that she was dead, he was going to be tough on whoever he thought murdered her.

13. Miles proves his innocence, although it takes some baiting to get Redd White out of his building and actually into court. 

14. Wright is... not pleased about this, but theres not much he can do. His displeasure for Mias murder has shifted, but theres a new displeasure for Miles, the man who could beat him in court. (”well well well, you managed to save your own skin. But you should hope you get as lucky as you did in your next case”)

15. Next case! We know Miles is a steel samurai fan, so even without Maya it takes very little convincing for him to take the case. (Fran is not as amused but trusts her brother... enough.. to follow his lead)

16. Case proceeds mostly as normal, with Phoenix requiring Dee to re-do her testimony (maybe something deep within him still itches to put the true bad guy away, even if its harder than the accused)

17. I dont think Phonix would deliver the unnecessary feelings line, although there definetely is that moment in the lobby where hes like “hm. maybe you arent a bad person, but that doesnt mean i have to like you.”

18. and now, now now now, we finally get to the part where i somehow managed to put the most thought into. (for context it is nearly 2 am when i am writing this)

19. sleep schedule aside, you couldnt have thought i would made this WITHOUT some good angst, so here we go. case four is similarly structured to the original, but with an extra side of Phoenix angst.

20. Miles wakes up to Franzy shaking him. She points to the television. the news is on, but the voices are drowned out by a distant ringing as he stares at the image on the screen.

Famed Prosecutor Phoenix Wright Arrested For Murder

21. it just doesnt make sense. So he gets out of bed and into the closest clothes he can find and out the door with his sister in tow. He sits in the cold detention room, thinking about the other side of the glass.

22. Phoenix Wright looks dull. He asks what they want. Miles says he wants an explanation. Wright sneers and asks why. For some reason, that pisses Miles off. He slams his badge to the glass and Wright looks surprised.

“Do you know what this is? It’s my attorneys badge.”

“the badge doesnt mean youre a good lawyer.”

“Well Mr Wright, its 2-0, so i dont think you have any right to say that.” Miles glares at him and Wright sits back in his seat. He watches Miles for a long time.

“If im going to defend you, you need to tell me what happened.“ Wrights eyebrows shoot up and Franziska squawks at his side

“What do you mean defend him!”

“What she said.”

Miles narrows his eyes at Wright as he ponders to himself the answer. Why is he doing it? the answer comes to him. 

“Because i dont believe you did it.”

For all his snark, Miles cant bring himself to believe that the man in front of him would kill someone. Theres something about him, either in his eyes or the way he carries himself that makes the idea itself preposterous. Wright looks at him for a long time after he says it.

“Very well.”

21. Miles doesnt seem him until court, but at least he testifies. The next person up, a red head by the name of Melissa Foster, gives a testimony that seems airtight.

22. that is, until he looks over at Phoenix, who is pale as he looks at the woman on the witness stand. Phoenix catches his eye, and very carefully, very slowly, mouths one name.

Dahlia Hawthorne

23. (I really wish i could continue with the more narrative parts of this but im honestly running out of steam and ill get to the point lol. Maybe ill finish it later.)

24. Terry Fawles dies on the stand. Diego Armando falls into a coma. Dahlia Hawthorne walks free. Even after what happened to Diego, Phoenix is convinced he can do better. He sets up a meeting with Dahlia.

25. Doug shows up, trying to persuade him away from it, saying he overheard Dahlia’s plan to kill Phoenix when she arrives. Phoenix is cocky, and the pair fight. Doug gets shoved into the powerline. Phoenix, thinking him dead, panics and runs.

26. Dahlia, having overheard, goes back and finishes him off, drops some poison into his mouth perhaps. With an accidental death with a cause so obvious, nobody bothers to run blood tests (until Miles)

27. Its years later, and Phoenix gets a note that tells him they know what really happened to Doug. Phoenix arrives to a meeting place to find a dead body. He picks up the vial of poison almost absently. 

28. After all, Dahlia had gotten rid of Diego and Mia was dead. Now all she had to do was get rid of Phoenix

29. It plays out similarly to case four, with Phoenix being absolved of the first murder, then confessing to the old one. Miles has gone through the work to save his life once, that he cant not do it again.

30. but happy endings (ish) for all, with Phoenix being freed, Dahlia imprisoned and Miles having a better understanding of both him and Phoenix.

31. maybe more happens but we’re at bullet point 31 so its time to stop for now lmao. uh but yeah! roleswap au..... brainrot really.

[lakesbian]

wormtime + pact time + occasional infinity train or misc reblogs. i am dangerously autistic about alec ‘regent’ vasil, and also his lawyer. read my alec essays :). i like talking about worm but i have a massive backlog of asks so you will probably get faster results from a post tag or dm. can haz art credit to @miimyn​

(LEGAL DISCLAIMER FOR PEOPLE UNFAMILIAR WITH THE JOKE: i dont actually hate wildbow thats just some guy. i just think its funny when people accuse you of being, quote, “a bad faith actor who hates wildbow” for breaking down the racism or homophobia or whatever in worm)

tags i use are under the cut so i dont Forget but im really bad at tagging things. so dont look right now okay. ill fix them one day okay.

worm tags i Will use once i go back & tag everything (until then good luck dont bother searching tags): #parahumans (literally every post in it) #worm art (worm fanart. obviously) #wormnalysis (worm analysis) #wormcore (shit that makes me go “yeah this captures the essence of worm”) #worm song asks (people really like asking me to rate their worm song choices & someone wanted this tagged for ease of backreading, so! behold, tag) #wormtime (wormread liveblogs) #alec essays (only one i’ve sorted properly rn lmao) #pact time (pact liveblog. hi pactblr) all characters are tagged by full name, cape name if we don’t have a full name

infinity train content archive: #infinity train (literally every post in it) #b1 (book one content only) #b2 (book two content only) #b3 (book three content only) #b4 (book four content only) #art (fanart) #fics (fics by myself or others) #fic fanart (fanart ppl made of my fics) #videos (amvs, clips, etc) #headcanons (what it says on the tin) #lore (crew statements, crew art, behind the scenes, etc) #analysis (what it says on the tin) #icons (u kno like 4 profiles) #funnies (jokes jests japes memes etc) #dresse (jesse but in a dress because i am gnc and like making him gnc) #pilotverse (sparse tag about a convoluted au i made)

misc. content archive: #horror #halloween #angels #liminal #mermaids #aliens #road trip #cryptids #space #butch #paleo #robot dreams  #aesthetic  #catered to me  #miserable little creatures  #words  #spec bio  #existential joy

oc aes tags filled with wanton abandon: #arroyo #miles #jackie #dan