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torukmaktoskxawng · 1 year

Text

tsamsiyu ta'em - strangers like me

Masterlist - part ten

Summary: Kayla continues to learn about island life with the Metkayina and also learns a bit more about her teachers along the way. Tonowari and Ronal find their student strange and intriguing.

Pairing: Ronal/Tonowari/Original Female Character

Tag: #tsamsiyu ta'em fic

posted on ao3

Word Count: 6k+

Taglist (bold indicates "could not tag"): @motheroffae @undeniableadrenaline @mooniequeen @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @heart-an0n @amiets2 @slutforsmut4ever @yeosxxx @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @sucker4angstt @inolaphoenix @ilovechickenwings tojisleftarm andyfromku @ivysully

A/N: I am so sorry for my absence! I wish I have a good excuse for being absent, but the truth is I'm not doing so hot in the real world rn. My job is cutting back hours and I barely have enough for rent. I'm getting a second job next month so hopefully, things smoothen out.

Here is the long-awaited update that I will kick myself for delaying in exchange for obsessively crying over Good Omens Season 2. Let the montage of Awa'atlu life commence! Again, thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy!

Note: The title is named after the Phil Collins song "Strangers Like Me" because Tarzan and Avatar just go together XD

To avoid having Ronal hunt her down again, Kayla got up earlier the next morning and made her way back to the village to join her brother's family for breakfast before her lessons. Kiri was definitely doing better and Tuk was excited that her aunt had decided to see them off before their busy days. After pleasant conversations and the promise to meet before their midday meal, the kids took off to pursue whatever they planned for the day. Kayla stood up with the intention of going to find either the tsahik or the olo'eyktan and so Jake walked her out of the marui as they talked.

"So Neteyam mentioned that you guys talked about what happened between Lo'ak and Ao'nung," Jake started off.

'Oh, boy, here we go,' Kayla thought as she tilted her head to glance back at him, feigning partial innocence, "Yes? What about it?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to let you know that it's already been handled, and it sounds like the boys are actually getting along now. Neteyam also mentioned that you didn't get to meet Ao'nung yesterday so I wanted to make sure you knew this before you went looking for a fight with the kid."

"Jake, how young do you think I am?" When his face twisted with hesitance, she rolled her eyes, "Don't answer that. What I'm trying to say is that I'm not a child, I'm older than I look, and believe it or not, I do realize this. You don't have to worry about me... but you could've been a little nicer to Lo'ak."

Jake refrained from also rolling his eyes, knowing his sister would say this. He wasn't blind. He was well aware that Kayla would always be quick to defend his youngest son, no matter what he did. Jake was half-convinced that Lo'ak could get away with murder as far as his aunt was concerned, "He knew he wasn't allowed to go beyond the reef but he went anyway. He was at fault as much as Ao'nung."

"I get that, but it feels as though Lo'ak received more punishment than the boys who actually put him in danger, and for what?"

"For picking fights."

"No, for defending his sister," her eyes narrowed, "Not that you would know what that means."

Jake took the verbal lashing in stride, internally sighing, "I can't punish the chief's son for what he does against my kids, Kayla."

At first, Kayla had every intention of cursing her brother out, but instead paused and tried rephrasing her response. Her eyes drifted to the reef while she recalled far-off memories, "I remember Mom and Dad were allowed to punish the neighbor kids if they misbehaved with us and no one would bat an eye."

The mention of his old life irked him, and he wasn't afraid to show that in his deep snarl, "Well, Mom and Dad aren't here and we're not on Earth," her posture visibly stiffens but doesn't interrupt. Jake's wave of anger is immediately replaced with guilt, so he opts in taking a breath before he could say anything else he might come to regret, "Things are different here. So be civil and keep the peace. Don't go picking fights with teenagers."

"I won't," she mutters darkly, the coldness in her eyes returning as she side-eyes him, reminding Jake that he still wasn't out of the storm regarding her, "That's what you're here for."

She doesn't stay long enough to hear whatever rebuttal he might have in mind. Instead, she walks down the pathways leading further into the village before calling back, "I'll see you later."

Tail lowered in distress and possibly shame, Jake could only turn back to the marui and try to go about his day as he normally would. He knew he deserved the petty insults and his sister's aggression toward him, especially after all the radio silence she had endured for months while he was here experiencing a new way of life, on top of everything else. He just wished Kayla could manage to let go of all the pain and anger like he did when he first began to learn the ways of the Omatikaya. Physically, Kayla's avatar hasn't changed apart from the new Na'vi trinkets she had added to her standard-issued cargo shorts and crop top. However, Jake had hoped her mentality toward him would change the more she learned how to be Na'vi.

He knew he was a fool to get his hopes up so soon.

Walking through the village, Kayla went down the same route Ronal had brought her yesterday, hoping she would catch sight of the tsahik. Again, there were some stares from the Metkayina, but they didn't last as long as the day before and the reef people didn't look as bothered by her appearance. The Na'vi go about their day without much acknowledgment to Kayla, and before she knew it, she had made it to her destination, the craft huts she had met Tsireya just the other day.

It wasn't hard to find Ronal among the crowd of mottled skin patterns. Her accessories, tattoos, and rounded stomach are a dead giveaway, and the tsahik easily found Kayla in the crowd in turn, though it wasn't as hard, given the circumstances. Ronal's eyes visibly squint when her gaze lands on Kayla, then the Na'vi woman pulls away from her task to rise and meet the avatar. Another Na'vi stands to join her, a teenage boy and Kayla had an inkling who it was.

When Ronal approached Kayla, she motioned to the boy behind her, "My son, Ao'nung."

Smiling timidly, Kayla greets Ao'nung as respectfully as possible, though even she could admit her smile was tighter than usual. Ao'nung didn't say a word back, instead deciding to simply nod and avoid eye contact. His ears drooped and his head lowered like this was torture for him. Clearly, he was being coerced into being here with Kayla, but she decided not to fault him for it. Perhaps he's already being punished enough for his wrongdoings that he didn't need Kayla to torture him further about it.

Ronal doesn't appear to notice nor care for Ao'nung's discomfort and sternly stated to Kayla, "We will be teaching you how to communicate underwater. Do not fall behind or you will be left behind."

Kayla refrains from the small smile that threatened to escape her. Ronal's words vaguely reminded her of Neytiri's way of teaching Jake both from the stories she heard and the video log Jake had recorded. As Jake had once phrased it, 'Learn fast or die.'

With that in mind, Kayla doesn't complain and silently follows Ronal and Ao'nung away from the craft huts and further down the pathways. It didn't take long before they brought their guest to a large marui. It wasn't as big as the communal pod for the feasts, but it was significantly taller and wider than the normal ones Kayla has seen, including the Sullys' marui. She took note of the different colors of weaving and decorations adorning the home, such as the totem and skimwing skull hanging over the front entrance in greeting, a small windchime of shells softly dancing in the warm breeze. If Kayla had to guess, this was the olo'eyktan and tsahik's pod. Soon after stepping inside, both Ronal and Ao'nung lower to the ground, sitting back on their legs and Kayla does the same, proceeding to listen as Ronal starts off the lesson.

Nothing eventful happened as Kayla learned the Metkayina equivalent of sign language. Ao'nung never said a word regarding Lo'ak or any incident that happened with Kayla's nieces and nephews prior to her arrival. In fact, Ao'nung didn't say a whole lot other than chiming in a time or two to help Kayla with the lesson. Perhaps he never said a word outside of the subject of his people's sign language because his mother had been giving him sharp looks throughout the whole lesson. It was hard to miss. Ronal wasn't exactly a subtle creature. She openly expressed whatever she was feeling, unafraid of hurting someone's feelings, not even her son's, it would seem.

It was amusing to find all the similarities between the mother and son, both physically and spiritually. Their glare, eyes, and even their pout were the same. Kayla even dared herself to look a little closer without getting caught and noticed that Ao'nung inherited the same mole as his mother's, both spots found above their lip, on the top right side.

She must have lost track in time as the suns rose higher in the sky. Before she knew it, her next teacher had shown up to take her to her next destination. Tonowari stepped up into the marui, his large frame blocking the majority of the light coming in through the entryway. His gaze brushes over Kayla and Ao'nung before his eyes land on the tsahik, "Ma Ronal. Is this a good time?"

One of Kayla's ear flick to the side at the term of endearment, glancing over to the woman in question who only firmly nods and stares back at Kayla, "Go on. My mate will continue your riding lessons from yesterday."

Kayla mutters her thanks and stands up to join Tonowari. As they turn toward the exit, the olo'eyktan points back to his son, "Ao'nung. Remain with your mother."

"But, Father--"

"Do not question me, boy," the tone in Tonowari's voice was a little louder and stronger than normal, and even Kayla could feel her spine straightening up, despite not being under his scrutiny. Kayla briefly glances back at Ao'nung and notes the way he shrinks in on himself, still unable to look her in the eye, clearly embarrassed. Kayla looks away and follows Tonowari out of the marui, shadowing his footsteps as he addresses her, "I apologize for my son."

For the moment, Kayla had the empathy to pity the teenager and decided to soften the blow against Ao'nung, "There's nothing to apologize for. He was a pleasant enough teacher."

His voice had reverted back to its normal tone, significantly smoother and kinder on the ears, "Did you learn well?"

"I think so. It's not that different compared to what the Sky People have," when he flashed a questioning glance over his shoulder at her, she further explained, "They have a language that requires hand motions, too."

He doesn't question it further, instead looking back ahead and leading Kayla down to the docks. The ilu anxiously await their arrival in the water below, clicking and calling excitedly as Tonowari pulls a harness over one of their heads. The two adults get into the water and stand beside the earnest ilu, Tonowari trying to calm the creature whilst Kayla makes tsaheylu. She mounts the creature with ease, remembering yesterday's lesson and dreading the idea of falling off again as Tonowari begins reassuring her, "You need to exude confidence. Tell the ilu that you will command them and you will be respected by them. Do not give them space to come up with their own ideas."

She takes a few deep breaths to calm her nerves and nodded, waiting until Tonowari steps away before commanding the ilu to move forward using only the bond connecting them to each other's thoughts. The creature obliges and all appears to be going smoothly. Kayla manages to instruct the ilu to swim faster before eventually sinking underneath the water's surface. The ilu picks up speed and even as she clings on for dear life, Kayla could already feel her grip loosening. Angry and determined, Kayla tightens her thighs around the saddle of the creature and demands her bonded steed to leap out of the water and let her breathe, no room for nonsense.

To her shock and delight, the ilu chirped happily and sprung out of the water like a bullet, briefly flying through the air and allowing Kayla to take a breath before diving back in. She was so shocked that she almost lost her grip before regaining composure and asking the ilu to do it again, in case she had only imagined her success. The ilu was ecstatic to leap out of the water again and did so without a fuss, and this time, Kayla laughed as the shock wore off.

On the surface, the woman is met with a small audience. Lo'ak, Neteyam, and Tsireya were out riding their own respective ilu that afternoon before briefly pausing to watch a school of fish swim all around them, tickling their feet. Just as Kayla appeared to finally be getting the hang of riding an ilu, the teenagers caught notice of her as well. Lo'ak is the first to spot her, cupping his hands over his mouth as he crows in encouragement, "Go, Auntie! Woo-hoo! Yeah! You got it!"

Kayla laughs as Neteyam and Tesireya begin to cheer her on as well, their voices carried by the winds as Kayla and her ilu dive into the water and back out again. By the time Kayla remembered herself and returned to her teacher, Tonowari had his arms crossed but otherwise appeared pleased by her improvement, tail leisurely swaying behind him with curiosity.

~~~~~~~~~

Weeks go by since Kayla first arrived in Awa'atlu, and despite having to adapt to yet another completely different culture, Kayla had to admit that it was getting easier as time went on. She originally thought the ways of the Metkayina were a cakewalk compared to the Omatikaya, but maybe it was because she learned from the Forest People first that made learning from the Reef People easier than she originally thought it would.

She makes sure to reiterate this to Norm and the other humans every time she sees them. When everyone in Awa'atlu is meant to be resting, Kayla retreats to her campsite and secures her avatar form before closing her eyes and breaking the neural link. The next time she opens her eyes, it's within the link gurney back at High Camp. Norm and Max are always there to greet her, asking about her headaches and other health problems. There were days even Kayla had to admit were rough. After spending so much time in her avatar form, it's starting to strain the link connecting herself to her human form and it causes massive headaches every time she breaks a new record of not reporting back for days on end. To distract her friends from lecturing her, Kayla just updates everyone on Kiri's condition and relays any messages Jake or the rest of the Sully family wanted her to bring. In return, the scientists or even the Na'vi, such as Txe'la and Meui, would update her on any information regarding Ardmore or any Sky People activity.

She's always left disappointed when they say the same thing. No one has seen Spider.

Trying not to let the news discourage her, Kayla always wakes back up in her avatar form in better spirits so as not to worry Jake and his family. Kayla continues to treat the days as normal, continuing her lessons and helping out in any way she can so as not to overstay her welcome. When she wasn't following Tonowari or Ronal around, Kayla was usually in the company of her nieces, nephews, and their new friends.

Tsireya was one of those friends, and she was such a sweet girl who would happily entertain Kayla in any endeavor. When she wasn't busy, one of Kayla's favorite pastimes was helping Tuk and Tsireya find seashells for their hair and any jewelry idea they had in mind. Tsireya, as Tuk said, knew all the best spots where the shells were always fully intact and not crushed into pieces by the harsh tides. During these little adventures, Kayla, Tuk, and Tsireya would learn more about each other, bonding over the fact that they were all their families' younger sisters.

The sign language was easier than the verbal language, but Kayla felt as though she had a rug pulled from beneath her feet when Ronal knowingly stated that she was going to be teaching her student a third language. The tsahik, with the help of other Metkayina, began to teach Kayla the language of the tulkun, the sea creature Kayla learned to be the spiritual animal and companion to the Reef People, as the ikran is to Forest People. Apparently, not even Kayla's nieces and nephews have progressed as far as learning the tulkun language yet, and they became ecstatic to realize that they would be learning this alongside their aunt. Joining Ronal in these lessons with Kayla and the Sully kids would also be Tsireya and Rotxo, which only excited the forest kids more. Ronal wasn't as pleased with her own student when she caught Kayla fondly watching the children interact more than once.

Kayla had to learn this extra language on top of her breathing lessons, the latter of which was taught by both Tonowari and Ronal. Sometimes they would teach her separately, and other times they would do so together, but whatever the case may be, it didn't matter to Kayla. She would carefully listen to whoever was teaching her, and sometimes she listened so intently that she caught herself observing her teachers a little too closely.

Like Tonowari's eyes for example. Kayla noted they were a light blue at first as she sat cross-legged across from him while they practiced breathing exercises. But upon closer inspection, Kayla noticed specks of green engulfed by those blue orbs, like clumps of islands surrounded by warm sparkling oceans.

He was a clenched fist with a gentle touch. Kayla greatly admired him for being someone who could easily take advantage of his strength and position above his people but chooses to be kind and soft-spoken instead.

It was fascinating for Kayla to see just how different the Metkayinas' eyes were compared to the Omatikayas'. Whereas every Na'vi of the Forest had orange or yellow cat-like eyes, the ones who live off of the reef had rounder and bigger eyes, not to mention they had a variety of different shapes, sizes, and colors.

Like Ronal's eyes. The opposite of her mate's, Kayla noted that Ronal's eyes were more green than blue, with specks of a warm, gold color, like a sunset reflecting off the ocean surface.

She was orphic, but that's as far as Kayla allowed herself to describe the tsahik.

There was plenty to say about Ronal, but Kayla thought it best not to linger on any of the words bouncing around in her head. It was clear to her that the tsahik will always disapprove of Kayla and her presence among the Metkayina, so Kayla didn't want to compliment the Na'vi woman too much, especially since she doesn't intend on staying for very long.

Her stay was still very much temporary, at least in Kayla's eyes, as she still intends on going back to the forest to find Spider. For now, however, she was content with her small campsite just inside the treeline of the Metkayina island, a campsite that Ronal appears to disapprove of along with everything else about Kayla. The tsahik still has to occasionally venture out and find Kayla among the trees if she is in need of the avatar woman, like today when Ronal had the mind to take the time to find Kayla. It wasn't hard since the demon had kept her promise and never moved her campsite so she would be right where Ronal could find her. Still, Kayla was apologetic when Ronal found her and the tsahik begrudgingly told the foreigner to follow her back to the village.

Ronal brings her to the shoreline and recruits her to help fix an ilu pen that had begun to wither with age. Tonowari was already hard at work on it and briefly looked up to greet the two women when they sat down on the edge of the pathway and gracefully slipped into the water with him. After a brief instruction from him, Kayla gets to work in silence, and Ronal isn't opposed to doing the same. The silence wasn't as awkward as they were in the past, but out of the corner of her eye, Kayla could clearly see that something was bothering the tsahik, as Ronal wasn't ashamed of openly frowning while watching Kayla work. She didn't appear to be glaring in disapproval, but she looked... frustrated. It was as if she was trying to figure out a complicated puzzle. Kayla briefly glanced at the Na'vi positioned on the other side of her and noticed that Tonowari was much more subtle than his mate. Unlike Ronal, he only snuck glances at Kayla and her work here and there and did his best to hide whatever expression was on his face.

"Am I doing it wrong?"

"No. You're doing well," a compliment was not what she was expecting and it shows as Kayla's ears perk up and her eyes briefly widen. Ronal pointedly ignores the reaction and blatantly asks, "Why do you not stay with your brother's family at night?"

Kayla looked at Ronal, nose scrunched slightly in confusion, all the while completely unaware of the stare Tonowari sent to his mate from above Kayla's head, "Why would I?"

"Group sleep is also customary in the Metkayina."

"What's a group sleep?"

By Eywa, did the Omatikaya teach this alien woman anything? Ronal huffs out an irritated sigh, "Families sleep in large groups, usually in their swaynivi. Some clan members will sleep alone or with their mate just as long as they return to their family's nivi in a short period of time. Otherwise, they're deemed spiritually unhealthy. It is unsafe for one to sleep alone."

"I see," Kayla's ears pin back and her posture straightens, understanding the question now while pointedly staring down at her work on weaving the ilu pen together instead of addressing Ronal, "Well, where I'm from, that's called an invasion of privacy. I would assume that the families who sleep in large groups mostly contain parents and their children, correct?"

She doesn't wait for a response as she further explains with a small distaste in her mouth, "Since I'm neither of those, I don't want to invade my brother's and his children's privacy. Thank you for your concern, but I've been alone for a very long time. I can assure you that I am just fine with the sleeping arrangements I have now."

Even Ronal can sense a dismissal when she hears it in Kayla's voice. It was clear that the alien woman didn't want to further discuss this topic and so the tsahik didn't push it. Returning to her work, Ronal now briefly shared a glance with Tonowari but he pointedly kept his mouth closed during the whole conversation and after.

Luckily, the silence is saved by Neteyam as the teenager arrives with a purpose, slightly bouncing over the pathways above the adults' heads, "Auntie. My father is looking for you."

Kayla's discomfort visibly melts before Tonowari and Ronal's eyes. She looks up and smiles at the Na'vi boy, "Tell your father he can come and get me himself next time instead of sending you out. You should be elsewhere, enjoying the reefs and hunting with your friends."

She briefly turned back to the clan leaders, silently asking for approval to leave with her eyes flicking between the two Metkayina. Both nodded and openly watch as Kayla turns back to Neteyam, smiling up at her nephew as she rises up onto the pathway and follows him out, gently shoving him once to get him to pick up the pace so she didn't trip on his heels.

Neteyam huffed a small laugh as they walked, but the sound falls in replace of shame. He was visibly acting a little shy as he avoided eye contact, "I am sorry that I told my father about our conversation. I should have asked for your permission."

"Hey, no harm," she nudged him, "It's not like our talks are meant to be a secret or anything. It's nice that you can trust your father with everything; trust him enough to talk about whatever you want. As long as you're comfortable, kiddo."

"Was your father not like that?"

Kayla bit her tongue to refrain from visibly wincing, staring directly ahead instead of at her nephew, "No. I don't think he was. Not from what I can remember. Mostly I relied on Tommy and your dad growing up."

"What was my father like as an older brother? Am I like him?"

Kayla briefly grew quiet as they walked, pondering about how she could best word this to her oldest nephew. She tried seeing Jake in Neteyam, she really did, but whenever she tried comparing the teenager's best traits, they only remind her of Neytiri. And when Kayla thinks about Jake, all the pain and other torture he had put her through both intentionally and by accident, she couldn't even fathom Neteyam doing the same thing to his own siblings. Physically and mentally, deep down she knew that Neteyam was nothing like his father, and she was secretly grateful for that.

So instead of agreeing, Kayla simply smiled while staring the teenager in the eyes so he could see her sincerity, "No, 'Teyam. You're like Tommy. He was the older brother. When it comes to how you treat your siblings, you remind me of him, and I think your father sees it, too."

~~~~~~~~~

When Ronal isn't busy with her duties as tsahik or teaching Kayla, she is making sure Neytiri also adapts to their way of life. Although the former tsakarem had been comfortably accustomed to island life by the time her sister-in-law joined her family, Ronal still takes Neytiri into the jungle for a second pair of hands to gather the needed plants and herbs for her stock. Today was no different as the two women stumbled across a large jungle tree, larger than any of the others around them. Instead of following Ronal's suggestion to skip this tree and its healing fruits in exchange for a shorter one, Neytiri stops and shakes her head. Ronal was adamant about moving on since she was in no condition to climb and wasn't built to climb trees even if she wasn't currently pregnant.

Neytiri still shook her head in defiance and simply said, "You need Forest People."

The Forest woman opens her mouth and calls out at the top of her lungs, causing Ronal's ears to twitch in response to her whooping and cawing. Notifying her family about her location, it didn't take long for Jake, Kayla, and all the Sully children to come running to Neytiri's call.

Neytiri proudly smiles at her family while explaining why they had been summoned, "Our tsahik needs the fruit from the top of this tree and the ones surrounding it."

The others take a moment to look at one another before Kayla breaks the silence, briefly tapping Tuk's shoulder before running off, "'Last one to the top is a rotten egg!"

Tuk squeals and immediately chases after her aunt. The older Sully kids smile and break into fits of laughter, following suit and running after Kayla and their little sister. They all leap up, grabbing onto the lower branches before lifting themselves up, climbing expertly higher without their arms protesting the weight of their bodies. Ronal watched them climb higher and higher, keeping her expression stoic while observing the way Kayla makes the collecting and scavenging into a game for her nieces and nephews, challenging them to see who can gather the most fruit. In the corner of her eye, Ronal could still see Neytiri standing beside her, also watching the trees and smiling fondly up at her family. Jake soon stands beside his wife, hands on his hips while watching his sister and his children with a careful eye.

It was then did Ronal address Toruk Makto directly, flashing a face of disapproval, "Does your sister always act so childish?"

Jake's posture stiffens and he struggles to find the right words under the tsahik's watchful eye, "Well-! Uh..."

"No, only with the children," Neytiri answers for him, eyes hardened when they meet Ronal's as if daring her to speak again, "She plays with them because she wants to remind them that they are still just that. Children."

~~~~~~~~~

Kiri woke up bothered about something and everyone could tell. That girl didn't know how to hide her feelings no matter how badly she wanted to, the definition of an open book. Even though no one knew why she was upset, they could clearly tell that whatever it was, it had something to do with her aunt. Kiri wasn't necessarily cold to Kayla, but the teenager would go quiet and only speak in one-word responses whenever the older woman spoke directly to her.

Kayla decided that she needed to fix whatever was going on between herself and her oldest niece, so she offered to take the children out as the afternoon slipped into the evening. Neytiri suggested bringing them swimming through the reefs to collect barnacles and other underwater plants for tonight's supper, a passing time a lot of the villagers tend to do. Kayla takes up the idea and presents it to the Sully kids, who all agree to go, some more enthusiastic than others.

Tuk immediately splashes into the water and her brothers chase after her. Meanwhile, Kayla and Kiri linger on the beach, watching them disappear into the ocean. Kayla had tried breaking the tension with a small smile, "So when are you gonna show me how to use those underwater fairy wings?"

She was hoping for a small laugh or even a smile, but Kiri does neither. Instead, she looks sad and distracted, looking out over the horizon where the sky meets the sea, daydreaming of other lands... of home. Kayla bravely touches the girl's shoulder, and when Kiri looks up, her aunt could see the concern plain on her face. The avatar woman squeezes Kiri's shoulder, "What is it?"

Kiri bites the inside of her cheek before giving in, letting out a small sigh, "When are you going back to the forest?" She quickly understands how that could easily be misinterpreted and corrects herself, "It's just that-- you promised you'd look for Spider. And yet, you're here and he still hasn't been found yet."

Kayla relaxes both in posture and touch, removing her hand from Kiri's shoulder and instead letting it fall to her side, "I'll likely be gone by the end of the week, but for Norm's peace of mind, I'm going to be running a few tests on you so he and I both know you'll be okay," silence follows and Kayla reaches out once more, letting her hand gently grasp Kiri's arm, "Kiri, look at me."

The teen does so, a little belligerent at first. Upon staring up at her aunt, Kiri could see the determination in her eyes that closely matched Kiri's father's. Kayla tilts her head down to try and stand more at Kiri's height before softly explaining, "I haven't given up. And you might find it pointless to keep an eye on you after what happened, but I don't, and I don't think Spider would either. Think about it, kiddo. Spider would want us to make sure you're alright before we ever went looking for him."

Kiri ducks her head and watches her toe make shapes in the sand beneath her feet, "I know... but that doesn't mean I have to like it. He deserves to be put first for once."

Silence lingers between the two of them before Kayla simply says, "You're right."

Kiri doesn't wanna look up to see whatever expression was on her aunt's face. Instead, Kiri takes her arm and drags her to the water, "Come."

"'Where we going?"

"You said you wanted to learn how to use a txampaysye."

Kayla's nose scrunched up, testing the word on her tongue with bitterness, "How do you even spell that??"

Kiri manages to loosen up and laugh before they both held their breath and sank down into the water, sinking until they joined the rest of the Sully children. They introduce Kayla to txampaysye -gill mantle- and instruct her on how to use it in order to breathe underwater. Kayla wasn't far off. The gill mantles really did look like fairy wings, but other than maybe a few comments or stories, none of the Na'vi children would know what exactly a fairy was. The children and their aunt spend the evening doing as Neytiri suggested, gathering underwater plants and barnacles alongside other Metkayina, most of whom all wore the txampaysye. By the time the communal dinner rolled around, the Sully family was exhausted, but content all the same.

~~~~~~~~~

A peaceful morning where the Sullys invite Kayla over for breakfast goes uneventful until they're rolling up their nivi after a good night's rest. Their peace is interrupted by a horn, followed by whoops and hollers of celebration coming from outside. Confused and on edge, Jake and the kids emerge from the marui, looking around as the Metkayina jump around and dive into the water, making the newcomers curious as to what was going on.

Their answer came in the form of Tsireya, astride an ilu as she waved down her people from the water below their homes, "The tulkun have returned! Everybody! Our Brothers and Sisters have returned!"

Kayla looked up toward the atoll wall protecting the village from less docile nature. Emerging from the tunnels and pathways underneath the wall were rolling waves indicating something large below the water. Spurts of seaspray spring out like geysers from beneath the ocean's surface. It was a large pod of whale-like creatures, massive and slow. Their descent onto the village was graceful and one that brought much joy to the Metkayina as they couldn't get in the water fast enough.

The Sully kids couldn't wait either, jumping from the walkway around their home and into the water below. They scatter, exploring the new creatures one way or another. Tsireya had grabbed Lo'ak when she spotted him and pulled him onto her ilu, swimming away to introduce him to her Spirit Sister. Jake summoned his tsurak and both he and Neytiri take off to observe the sacred animals themselves. Rotxo had come around and pulled Kiri and Tuk away too, leaving Neteyam and Kayla to wander. Ao'nung was not far behind his friend, however, and invited Neteyam to come along with him to find his own Spirit Brother. Earning a small reassurance from his aunt, Neteyam doesn't hesitate to jump in and both teenagers each grab an ilu and take off, making a game of chase with Ao'nung in the lead.

Neteyam kept close to Ao'nung the entire time. The chief's son leads Neteyam through the chaos expertly, the two of them swimming quickly around a particular tulkun. Kiri, Tuk, and Rotxo were hanging onto the bull's fin and gliding peacefully through the water, the tulkun likely the reef boy's Spirit Brother. Neteyam was only able to catch a glimpse of this as they swim by, keeping close to Ao'nung's tail and playfully chasing him.

Jake had been leisurely swimming his skimwing through the maze of tulkun and Metkayina before glancing off to the side and perking up. Reaching back and tapping Neytiri's thigh to grab her attention, he waits until her eyes are on him before pointing out the sight he stumbled across. Following her husband's gaze and finger, Neytiri spots a mother tulkun and her calf, the smaller whale-like creature keeping close, mostly under its mother's fin or belly. Neytiri smiled with delight, her heart melting at the picture.

Kayla had been floating above the surface, watching the vast sight of tulkun from up top the back of an ilu she had successfully summoned. She didn't venture very far until the olo'eyktan sought her out. She noticed his tsurak first, flying above her head before gracefully sinking into the water, folding in its webbed fins. Tonowari brings it back around and swims up to Kayla's side, a determined smile on his lips, "We must put all that you learned to the test. Come meet my Spirit Brother and see how well you can understand and communicate with him."

She nods and dutifully follows him into the water after taking a deep breath. They submerge and take off, weaving through and around the large bodies of tulkun, dodging other ilu and Na'vi while Tonowari keeps his pace slow for Kayla's ilu to catch up. Underwater, Kayla can get a better look at the tulkun, and to her amazement, she realized that most of them were tattooed like their respective Na'vi. Eventually, they come across a large bull and Tonowari slows to a complete stop, disengaging from his tsurak and openly swimming the rest of the way to the heavily tattooed tulkun male. Kayla disengages from her ilu and watches it swim away before swimming in the same direction as the olo'eyktan, keeping a small bit of distance while he approaches the tulkun, greeting it like an old friend with a wide smile before gesturing Kayla to come closer.

When Kayla swims close enough to float near the large eye of the creature, Tonowari motions to the bull and makes rapid hand movements, "This Makayla te Suli tsmuke te Toruk Makto. She is of the Forest People and has come to learn our ways."

"Greetings, Makayla te Suli." The tulkun sings, and Kayla is delighted that she can understand him.

She quickly signs back, just as she had practiced, "I See you, great and mighty tulkun."

"Have you learned much since your arrival?"

"Yes, many things. I have excellent teachers in the olo'eyktan and the tsahik."

"Indeed. You are in good hands with my Brother and his mate. Ro'a speaks highly of her."

Curious, Kayla turns to the olo'eyktan in question, hands slowed by the water as she asks through the Metkayina sign language, "Is Ro'a Ronal's Spirit Sister?"

Tonowari nods while further explaining with his hands, "Yes, and I believe Ro'a has just given birth to her first calf."

"Indeed." The tulkun calls softly, the beautiful sound muffled in Kayla's ears like a song trying to pierce through cotton, "We are very proud and happy for our sister. What of Ronal's child?"

Tonowari beams, "Growing fast. Halfway there."

Kayla faintly smiles as her lungs begin to faintly burn, then quickly makes the appropriate hand motions to signal, "Forgive me. I need air."

She tilts her head upward and kicks her arms and legs to plunge up to the surface. Kayla immediately gasps for air the moment her head broke through the ocean waves, taking deep and calm breaths while looking around at all the joyous reunions going on around her. Laughter and cheers are still clinging to the approaching afternoon air, not a single Metkayina worried about the day's chores as they are too busy reacquainting themselves with their Spirit Brothers and Sisters. Kayla fondly watched these interactions, her heart warm and yet... sad as she watched the Na'vi swim around her without a care in the world. It's not as though she expected anyone to notice her, but it was a brief realization that today she was invisible and an outcast compared to these beautiful tulkun creatures. It was just another reminder that she didn't belong here and she had no Spirit Sister of her own, feeling out of place among an entire lagoon full of tulkun, Na'vi, tsurak, ilu, and other aquatic creatures.

Once she caught her breath, Kayla inhaled deeply and stuck her face back into the water to check out the activity going on beneath her treading feet. Looking around, she managed to catch a glimpse of a familiar Na'vi, a woman, adamantly communicating with her hands toward another tulkun, a female and her calf. Kayla recognized Ronal's ornaments that expressed her importance among the other Metkayina, along with her rounded belly. Without those traits, however, Kayla wouldn't have recognized her because the tsahik was smiling, broadly, unbothered by anything going on around her as she spoke to what had to be her Spirit Sister, Ro'a.

In all the weeks Kayla had been living here, she had never seen Ronal smile, let alone smile like that.

A/N: Please remember that I can't reply to any comments below every chapter because I'm using a secondary account. So if you have questions about the series you would like answers to, please put it in the ask box, thank you!

If you have a request, check the rules first! Much love!

Buy me ko-fi <3

Just a brief notice that updates are gonna be spotty from here on out as summer is coming to a close and I'll be working two jobs next month (Sept). Keep the love and support coming and I hope to update for y'all soon!

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xxspirit · 7 months

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Hello, my name is Moon. And I'm asking you to spread the word of KOSA (Kids online 'safety' act) an awful, deceiving bill that will censor you, me, minors, and adults online alike.

How the bill works will cause social media to change in a horrible way. It will make it to where you must upload your ID publicly to prove you're old enough to view 'explicit' content.

In reality, that content is LGBTQ+ resources for abuse victims, resources for abortion, resources for Palestinians, resources for sex ED, and more.

It will censor us, destory fanfiction, WHATS NEXT? Uploading private messages? Putting your IP in public?

It will end Tumblr, Fanfics, privacy.

PLEASE HELP END IT! Speak out! Stop them, reblog as much as possible! #EndKosa

Hi, I appreciate you for helping to stop KOSA and helping people understand what KOSA is, and I agree with you that KOSA is terrible.

BUT we need to take a step back, and calm down. I know lots of people are freaking out about this act right now, I am too. But I think a lot of the chaos behind it is because of misinformation as well, specifically about the whole IDs.

Just a warning v

I want to clarify to anyone if they are just skimming past my words that I am NOT ADVOCATING FOR KOSA, I hate KOSA, this act is definitely not to defend minors from the internet but instead HARM them even more as well as EVERYONE ELSE. I just think we are causing a lot of panic and chaos because of misinformation.

I just want to help calm people down, I tried to do my own research and tried to fact-check myself to make sure what Im saying is true, but if you know I said something wrong please let me know and I am so sorry if I misspoke, I will correct myself as soon as possible. 🙏

KOSA DOESNT REQUIRE A PERSONAL ID: I did my own research about the need of uploading a personal ID, but this doesn’t seem to be true. I will be reblogging a few things today that I found, and also this website for my evidence:

KOSA still needs to go through congress, and then the President. Although it may or already have passed through the Senate sadly, there is still another chance. So keep up with the rallying and keep giving attention to KOSA about how stupid it is! WE CAN STILL STOP KOSA!!! DO NOT GIVE UP!!

Even IF KOSA does pass… it will take MONTHS for the act to go into action. I found this screenshot from another person, I’ll be reblogging their post after this one:

It will take a ONE YEAR and SIX MONTHS(A YEAR AND A HALF)before KOSA actually starts being implemented. In that time, we can think of what to do, migrate if we have to, or whatever.

Also- know this doesn’t help tumblr but I also saw on another post which ill reblog, that potentially Ao3 won’t be affected, which may be nice for some of you to know.

Here’s a petition I found, I recommend signing it!

It is so awesome to see the community work together to help stop KOSA, but let’s make sure to be checking our sources and try not to spread things that don’t seem to be accurate! 🙏

Stay safe guys, and stay strong 💪

#I know this isn’t stuff I usually post #but I have been mentioned a lot in stuff related to this #and honestly KOSA has had me really stressed out and worried and I know many are in the same boat as me #but I’ve also been seeing other lovely people clarify some of the main things that had me freaked out #and I figured I could also help spread it to help calm others down too #stop kosa #anti kosa #kosa

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tomnookishot · 4 months

Text

although i feel i will most likely expand on it more in the future as i discover more about myself and the Aromantic Lifestyle, i think for now this might be my hatoful aro masterpost. this all has been on my mind for the past few weeks without me even recognising it and so i kinda just want to touch on uh. almost all of the main characters tbh.

when, a few years ago, i made those UGLY pride headcanon pieces (and yes i hate ALL of them now even yuuya and sakuya and i have considered remaking them but can't muster the willpower to do so) i think i was still weaning off of my inner asshole fandom gay who sat me down and told me "hey bitch. these fags better be AT LEAST bi or else you are homophobic. that's right you HOMOPHOBE i'll KILL YOU!!" as a baby gay i never felt like it was my place to say "hey i don't actually think these characters would be gay" or "i think the emotions projected onto them are not fully fleshed out or accurate to their personality" because i thought expressing a differing opinion made me an asshole, and in my defense there were and continue to be people who say that if you DON'T hc a character as queer, and queer in an acceptable way, then you are homophobic. but look at me now! i'm an asshole! and im defending the rights of aros everywhere 😤 (it's me it's literally just me im the only aro im defending). all of this is to say i have changed a lot of my opinions on the characters through my own exploration of them and through other people's inputs. and im here to tell YOU that you are AROPHOBIC if you don't hear me out and proceed to align all of your headcanons exactly with mine and then give me all of your money and you don't want to be aphobic now do you?

the character that i actually initially wanted to make an aro post about was my sweet normal-type trainer ryouta. i have to be honest with everyone. i actually think ryouta might be hetero. i honestly had no solid idea about his identity when i made my omni hc i genuinely just looked up a list of pride flags so i could say something interesting and im not fucking joking. it was a different time in my life. i actually don't think he would have an interest in men. i just don't read it in him. he admires male characters but that hardly goes beyond signs of genuine friendship. if anything i can see what people say about him after bbl with sakuya but like. is it inappropriate for me to say that i see it as. sometimes going through a traumatic experience with a friend and then having them want you to be safe could be a sign of platonic bonding and trust. i am not sure if ill bring this up more in this post but genuinely one of my least favorite things about internet fandom culture is having to defend yourself when saying a pair of characters might be friends. it so often devolves into arophobia and the devaluing of friendship when I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROMANCE AND FRIENDSHIP in the FIRST PLACE. im not here to say you're WRONG for reading it as romantic. in fact i think in this case it's lowkey fair to do so. but not only is my reading different, i would like to ask an audience that doesn't agree to go into the rest of this post being mindful of the prejudices that are involved with being deeply defensive about romantic headcanons, and that it SUCKS being aromantic and having to add disclaimers like this about your ideas when most queer fandom spaces never expect you to have them for headcanons concerning most other LGBT identities.

anyway. what just happened i blacked out i take no responsibility for anything that i just said. what i wanted to say was that while i really don't read The Gay on ryouta, i think demiro RADIATES from him. i don't remember what it came from, it might've been the qna translation i did, but that time moa was like "if ryouta couldn't be with hiyoko he would probably just be okay being single forever" had me thinkin. i think the typical allo interpretation would probably be "oh so noble he would be so hung up on his old crush that he would never move on to someone new" but i think, when you red string bulletin board this quote across a couple other loose pieces of evidence you can see that it's pretty g-dang demi of him. his attraction to hiyoko stems almost exclusively from his connection with her. he hardly ever makes comments about her looks or how pretty she is. his ideal relationship with her is to just continue the things they've been doing forever, except now they're married i guess. he loves her for the way he's always thought of her, and for the fact that she's such a wonderful friend. she's ALWAYS been strong and supportive, he says. that's what makes ryouta admire her, he says.

he gets defensive when someone gets emotionally close with her. something that always stood out to me in his talk with yuuya on the holiday star was when he says something along the lines of "nageki knows a side of hiyoko that i don't." his fears come from someone knowing hiyoko in a similar intimate way that he does, and i think that's because that's the only way he might process romantic attraction coming to be. he also invalidates the way he believes yuuya sees attraction. in that same talk he throws jabs at how yuuya plays with girls and doesn't really come to know them, and again, besides coming from a society that is against casual sexuality, i think that would make a lot of sense within the context of ryouta seeing deep emotional connection as the only way you can have a "real" romantic love. i think ryouta doesn't really have a want or need to dig deeper into the implications of his attractions, which obviously results in him not even realising he has a crush on hiyoko, but i also think he just isn't. that concerned with figuring out where he stands in terms of romantic orientation. in a world where he is mlm, i think he would probably never recognise that or at least never label it, but regardless, if he's demi i think he would just never see that not everyone experiences attraction the way he does. i think he would be infinitely confused with the people who get married based on five months of dating after meeting on a dating app, which is what i do. honestly i just think ryouta is so accustomed to the status quo of being a young supportive straight guy that he sees his own demiromanticism as, if anything at all, just him being peak love story protagonist. so in conclusion i see ryouta as a hetero-demiromantic who doesn't KNOW that he's demiromantic.

as im trying to decide how i want to order this, i think i have to get someone out of the way. everyone knows i hate him with a passionate fury and i genuinely don't like thinking about him BUT. i have shoe eewahmeanay thoughts. im sorry. i have read what the shuu likers have to say about him. i have read the accursed pieces on his relationship to ryuuji. and your first assumption may be that i would read shuu as aromantic, because i am a freak. well it's not true. i actually DON'T see him as strictly aromantic. i think reading emotions through a clinical and cold view is very common to the aspec experience, especially to romance- and sex-repulsed people. putting yourself completely outside of the actions and experiences and just viewing them through a purely scientific this-is-what-social-creatures-in-A-Society-do-sometimes standpoint, you can find more ease and comfort in examining how other people view relationships. but im not here to argue that this is something that makes shuu aro (considering that is literally something he does), rather i would like to argue that this is something that stems from shuu being a general freak when it comes to Having Relationships. i kind of assume shuu might be somewhere on the arospectrum and as a certified shuu hater it's not my place to decide exactly where but i still see a possibility of attraction being an element of his actions. but it's fucked up™ attraction. i think more than anything being a little neglected boy already part of an upper class where genuine connection is discouraged is the biggest factor in iwamine's stunted social development, but he's also just. i don't think he was ever wired to desire or feel connection, not like most other people at least.

i will happily back the idea that isa was desperate for a well-rounded father figure, and that this is what lead him to becoming so deeply attached to ryuuji rather than him just having a gay crush. he is extremely fucking complicated and i know the shuu likers know that. im pretty sure most articulated shuu opinions will probably factor in the bad childhood and unhealthy dependencies into isa's view on ryuuji. i also think, though, that it is entirely too interesting to imagine that isa cannot comprehend the weight or meaning of his own emotions. i don't know if he's aromantic because on a fundamental level i cannot understand any attractions that i feel and it is extremely difficult to parse through different types of attraction. i think that is exactly the kind of compelling idea to play around with for shuu. i think he would sort through his feelings about ryuuji only after his passing, that being the critical trigger for him to do so and he would be unwilling to think too much about it otherwise, and if/when he did, it would still be in his patented narrow, clinical view. i don't think it's ridiculous to believe that there are unknown and involuntary brain fuck-ups going on that stem from attraction in that guy. of course shuu as an adult can only define his relationship to ryuuji through given societal standards, and i genuinely think there is something deeper than romantic intention there, but shuu may only come to the conclusion of "i'm a fucked up little freak boy who secretly liked being cared about but also i kinda thought he was attractive" (paraphrasing) due to the few words that our world gives us to define different relationships. really he just needs therapy.

um but my issue, the only one that really made me think about my arch nemesis this much, is the sheer amount of fluff that people write him into. it's INSANE. THOSE are the shuu likers who i don't think are as articulated as the ones i RESPECT. regardless of how shuu feels about ryuuji or what attraction he feels for him, shuu shows time and time again an inability to actually express his feelings about other people in any typical way. most of the time he just. y'know. expresses himself through violence and negativity. his interactions with ryuuji are usually dry and riddled with criticisms. shuu ends up carrying out his legacy through genocide. any friendship he could've conceived with tohri was always shut down because isa was always blunt with him, although i think isa didn't genuinely have any ill will towards tohri; tohri is just kind of an insecure guy who is very sensitive to criticism. with hiyoko the only way he can live with her is through actual murder. oh and did i say live i mean commit suicide. i don't know how he feels about hiyoko and to be honest im not terribly eager to figure it out but my point is that shuu only ever expresses positive emotions through negative means. i don't care if you think shuu just wants to be ryuuji's son or if you think shuu is a raging homosexual. he wouldn't be able to make it known either way. there is a post, and i don't have the will to dig it up because to my memory it was very crude but i found it funny nonetheless. i think it was tumblr user fluffyheretic who made a post saying something like "shuu iwamine would not be a hot daddy dom he would be googling 'how to kiss' on google dot com" and honestly yeah. i-- like-- how would that man ever be hot or god forbid fluffy in any other context than his chubby widdle partwidge cheeks. he would not be able to fathom a romantic relationship with the people he knows. he'd probably just like. idk. fantasize about dissecting their body and that would be the only thing he could imagine for days on end. and OH MY GOD. no he would not fucking plan a date. i am throwing shade to the fucks on ao3. this fag would not be cute or romantic at all. he would be off-putting and then you would leave. that would be the date. you might get a back-handed compliment. that's literally how he "courts" hiyoko. NOBODY LIKES HIM. in-game i mean. he is unlikeable. he is a dickhead. hiyoko and ryuuji are the only people to ever form a positive opinion of him because they are positive forces who love everyone. everyone else at the very least says mean shit about him behind his back. shuu iwamine aka isa souma aka utsuro ichijou is an aspec anomaly to me and it doesn't matter if he's aro or not. it's not like he could ever fucking land a date anyway.

transition to someone who is kind of that bitch's opposite: sakuya. or i guess really shuu's good parallel. that constitutes an entire post of its own tbh but. i think in general, even people who aren't that invested in aromanticism in hatoful could probably get down with grayro sakuya. to me at least, it kinda just makes sense on a basic level. he's not really invested in interpersonal relationships, even during his dating route which, need i mention, has its arc revolve around sakuya's personal growth and hardly is it ever implied he is attracted to hiyoko. the only time he ever begins to really feel exceptionally strongly about the people around him is coincidentally the same timeline in which yuuya tells him about their shared history: bbl. that's when he gains a sense of responsibility for his actions and feels a genuine care for his friends, and of course a painful regret for how he treated yuuya in particular his entire life. im almost tempted to call him straight up aromantic but ill let him be grayromantic as a treat. i think it compliments ryouta's demi-ness as the other part of the bbl pair. it also makes sense to me in the context of his very rare flattery in response to other people's praise, i think particularly hiyoko's. i find the thing he says in response to that one question about romantic types, the "someone who has acquired high-class refinement and etiquette. if one does not have those qualities, then they do not deserve to stand by my side," also kind of telling about sakuya's relationship to romance. obviously it's influenced by his role as a noblebirdie and the expectation he finds a partner as a political duty, but also notice how he says it in response to "who is your type?" and not something like "who do you see yourself marrying in the future?" it's not a description of personality or looks, it's a description of behavior. it's a detached response, implying that romance, to him, is not about what he finds attractive. romance is something that is EXPECTED of him. it could generally be assumed, i think, that if you actually did have a type in people, then regardless of if you were to be in an arranged marriage you would be happy to tell other people of that type. I'm sure the most common spin of this is just going to be that sakuya is really dedicated to the whole aristocrat bit but i think it reflects a lack of real interest in romantic relationships. if i were an aro prince thing and the press asked me what my type was, id probably also just respond with how my parents are going to decide who to set me up with. i'm not really looking for anything else, am i?

now. i have something controversial to say. i have gone. back and forth a hundred times on this boy and how i think he feels. and to be honest with everyone i think i might be a yuuya aromantic truther. i think yuuya is a very flirtatious aromantic little freak. and i know, right, he's like the most romantic guy in the entire cast. but it's very similar to the yuuya asexuality logic where flirting and romantic facades are simultaneously his only way of connecting to other people and yet also something that drives a wedge further between him and his connections. when he actually gets close to hiyoko, which is one of, if not the most intimate relationship he develops within the series, it's honestly not that romantic in nature. they're kinda just like. hangin out, but spy-type hangin out. like the entire post i wrote about hiyoko and yuuya's friendship. i know the whole partners-in-crime, two-of-us-against-the-world trope is usually a romantic one, but consider the beauty of the platonic version. consider the freedom. the commitment almost feels more intense when you drop the chains of romantic pressure to stay together. i think the best possible outcome of yuuya's dating route is tosakazaki qpr. besties but with COMMITMENT. besties but they love each other more than ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. the word queerplatonic has been ruined for me for various reasons but i just know they can reclaim it. i think yuuya might be so casual about romance and sex because he knows it's not in the cards for him. i can say your mom and i are in a committed relationship together with a completely straight face because i will never ACTUALLY be in a committed relationship with your mother. yuuya, similarly, can say he is in a committed relationship with everyone on the planet with a completely straight face because he knows he won't ever actually be in a committed relationship with anyone on the planet. it's so baller of him. i send kiss emojis to my friends and call them hot everyday but i would vomit if they got too close to me. maybe yuuya wouldn't be as touch-repulsed as the little freak i am but i think he would understand flirting as this somewhat rude way to compliment other people without getting too close. that's like. his entire thing.

ill be honest i have very little evidence for aro yuuya i just really WANT it to be real. yuuya- and hiyoko-type aromanticism is just very relatable to me. i relate to and love how they obsess over their friends, especially the way yuuya does it from a comfortable exaggerated distance that makes it clear he just wants to flatter you, and i just WANT it to be in an aro way. because i need more overtly flirtatious characters who just Do Not Want romance. because i need on a visceral level to normalise the presence of romantic elements in a completely platonic setting. making hiyoko and yuuya aromantic, to me, is my big fuck you. i will make these romantic characters aromantic and i will do it again. epic fuck you moment for the people who insist there are things that have to be romantic. epic fuck you moment for the people who claim things that don't involve them as a romantic scenario. my omnipotent level takes on these stupid bird characters are leagues ahead of your stupid baby "weah weh but he risked his life for her that's romance" incorrect IDIOT im literally living my life out of bounds and you're still debating on whether it's gay for a character to literally just CARE about another person.

okay okay i know that sounded like a conclusion but it wasn't fuck off. i'm only halfway through the main cast do you really think im done?

i think nageki is one of the characters i actually don't REALLY care about in terms of romantic identity but i've defaulted to aromantic as a defense mechanism against uncomfortable shit. i think it makes sense with his character (i love autism) and his storyline. but there's a lot of projection there too. and my feeling of protectiveness over a character i really love in such a personal way. i also think it meshes cutely with the fact that hiyoko and hitori, his SIBLINGS!! are aromantic themselves. so that's my headcanon, but honestly i don't feel THAT headstrong about it. i don't think it really makes sense in my head for him to be gay but i dont really care either way about other people's opinions on the matter. i think what bothers me is just that he's REALLY young and there is some Weird Shit that people put him in. sometimes i see him portrayed as. weirdly lustful??? or like uncomfortably obsessive? and not only is that sort of thing low-key weird as hell but like. did you play the game LMAO. clearly you don't know him like i do. sorry everybody part of being aromantic and bringing that into your favouwite tings is being PETTY AS HELL!!! that's my job here.

i thought i had more to say about nageki considering he's like. almost my oldest aro og but i kinda. don't. actually i spent an undisclosed amount of time tracking down a japanese playthrough of hatoful to see which version of "i love you" nageki used in his final speech but it honestly didn't clear very much up. and keep in mind the fact that nageki is talking from such a place of emptiness. he talks about how he fell numb to pain and hiyoko brought back feelings for him but mostly those negative ones. the ONLY positive light in his world is hiyoko. so an intense display of affection is KINDA warranted. and hypothetically it would also be possibly the most logical misunderstanding of one's own emotions in the game. idk sorry everyone hiyoko/nageki sibling dynamic for life. i've stayed in that mindset for so long that on occasion i raise an eyebrow when i see them paired together and then im like Oh. Shit. I'm Being Unreasonable Here. hey but what can you do. nageki love of my life, walking aromantic flag, please tread lightly in the scary waters of fandom spaces.

anghel higure freak of st pigeonation's high baja blast advertisement self-described martyr public-described weirdo someone id totally clock as a trans woman due to the fact that no cis man plays dungeons and dragons liberal user of eyeliner the goth asshole taking all of the GOOD chains from goodwill. an enigma of a person. when sheltered white gay people who ask "okay but are you afab or amab" say we need more weird queers they do NOT mean him. he would say something in his foreign language that roughly translates to "hey if you're a dude bangin dudes then have at em man im not gonna stop ya" and that may lead you to believe he is a straight ally but do NOT look at the yaoi in his sketchbook it reveals something about his mind. he's bisexual he's a little TOO gay he's looking up "homosexual tendencies" and clicking on sketchy medical advice websites he's a lesbian but he isn't a woman he probably isn't a man but non-binary rubs him the wrong way where's that book for parents of closeted children he's a pansexual imp who'll die happy he has no idea what pride is he thinks neopronouns are neat but has no idea how to communicate that in a way other people understand his parents keep hinting that they know he's not straight but he thinks he's keeping it under tight wraps maybe he is straight but he just doesn't FEEL straight he could never catch a date and he's happy about it he gets flattered once and catches feels the hero getting the girl in the end is too cliché but the doomed lone wolf story isn't but hypothetically his story might be cooler with a love interest how about everyone is the love interest this is his otome wait i thought he wasn't a woman and what about that pretty girl the next classroom over who is willing to larp with him is she technically a male love interest actually it's weird if he's going to date everyone how about instead everyone is attracted to him but as the accursed fallen angel he has a duty to never reciprocate he WILL puke if you hold his hand he's probably on the lgbt spectrum but honestly he doesn't care enough to figure it out right now he's got this sick cosplay project he's working on do you wanna see? yeah i don't know what anghel is. he can be aromantic if he wants. but he has to be a weird aromantic. he can be loveless or alloaro or romance favourable or fuck it he's romance repulsed or maybe he wants to kiss but that doesn't mean anything besides the fact that he likes it. it doesn't matter as long as he's weird about it. the minute he stops being weird about it he's fucked.

im sorry everybirdie i didn't realise i had so much to say about the other characters but so little about these last three. and now my transitions between subjects would be too much of a hassle to change so i could organise this into a more well-rounded balance of long rants and short tidbits. i wanted to save hitori for last because when i tried to talk about why he's aromantic i felt like the audience was more concerned with the fact that i was trashing on his popular ships than the fact that He Is Aromantic Guys I'm Being For Real He Told Me Himself. so i wanted to clarify my reasoning more thoroughly as the final character in the lineup, but im actually pretty sure that i WAS clear about why i think he's aromantic at the time, and now i don't have too much i want to say. so here's a list of bullets explaining why he's aromantic:

it makes the most sense with his storyline and character - hitori really is a character defined by his relationships to this around him, but like. in a way that he never has the spotlight. he's providing for his little siblings. he's providing support for his students. he's making it clear that hiyoko needs to learn about herself before she ever gets close with him. hell, he kills a man not out of bloodthirst or malice but as a sacrifice for his brother. he STRIVES to be alone. his baby siblings are his priority in his life and that doesn't change for a second, because like a baby bird (ha) he's made this imprint on the only people he truly associates with love and losing them was like losing what love MEANS to him. which is literally what he says himself. so like. not only does that mean other relationship archetypes are not in his field of vision, but treating his loved ones with that brotherly, somewhat overwhelming care is the only way he really knows HOW. it's how he treats kazuaki (til the end OOPS) and his students and hiyoko. and like i said. in the end of his story (as in. not mirror universe), his outcome is that he is alone without his children to look after. he goes along with hiyoko's confession in the end not because he's actually interested but because. i guess he just doesn't really have anything else to do. i don't even think he believes he can love again. i think hiyoko just goes "it's too sad that you don't want to love again :(" and then kazuaki goes "*sharp nose inhale, midwestern thigh pat* so anyway if you're still interested in that whole dating thing we can probably do that later if you want." i just really think inserting romantic love into his story after nageki is such a disservice to this entire key part of his character, that being that he REFUSES to love again after the loss of his brother. also it just feels kinda weird in a mirror scenario or whatever to make him get romantically involved with anyone SORRY i've heard that boyish charm in how he speaks i can only see confused innocence in his eyes my apologies

can you REALLY imagine him in a relationship or do you just see a generic anime guy and want to ship him with the closest twink

it makes the most sense within the themes of hatoful as a game - HELLO least romantic romance game EVER like please. this game is about appreciating the little things and learning to love life and yourself through grief THERE'S NO TIME WE'VE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE DROP THE SHIPS FUCK THE THEMES THEY'RE GETTING CLOSER HELP HEEEELLLLP OH NO I LOVE MY LIFE AND IM OKAY BEING ALONE EVEN THOUGH I LOST THE PEOPLE I LOVE FUCK IT'S LIKE SOMETHING THAT PENETEATES EVERY ROUTE GAHHHHHH

that thing he said in the character interview about "never really having thought about [his romantic type]"

it is objectively funny

a few years ago at a high school show choir showcase there was a solo about a girl who was insane and falling in love with a hot coffee barista but he actually didn't know what romance is

all of the fan content surrounding him and romance is So bad and out of character (or even half portraying him as not wanting it in the first place) that i literally cannot see him as anything but aromantic. you guys literally ruined it sorry.

women are gross and men are gross and he didn't know people could be other genders until he heard some more in-touch teenager talking about it and honestly he's still pretty confused he's supportive but it's not something he could be into even just for the fact that he's nervous about offending them

it would honestly be embarrassing if he ever got into a relationship like all of that "my siblings are everything to me" and for what. you have a girlfriend now? that's gay

speaking of which him being straight makes like a thousand times more sense than him liking men but also i hate straight people

it makes ME uncomfy so i get to have my favourite boy be aromantic because i hate everyone here

sometimes i feel like applying really specific queer labels to characters is doing them a disservice in itself, because some characters seem Weird enough to delve into niche queer spaces and find those labels, but a lot of characters don't even know what pansexual actually means and you know it. my ideal way of defining a character's orientation is by looking at what would make sense for them to be attracted to and then just saying that's what they're attracted to, rather than saying they're gay or they're straight or bi or whatever. anyway that's just what i've been trying the make clear over the course of this post besides the aromanticism of it all.

i'm writing an entirely new conclusion from the one i wrote back in january. i think that aromanticism has become more of a rebellion than anything else to me. in all facets of my life. sometimes it's just so goddamn hard to EXIST as a PERSON when it's like nobody even believes you as you are. i feel like i've lost a lot of autonomy to be anything except a memory or a story. and im not interested in being erased. but i don't think any place has ever made me feel as seen and validated and VINDICATED as the aromantic community. it's like. Fuck you. yeah im not part of any boxes you'd understand. i feel like i didn't feel such a sense of free will until i found myself here. hell. i can do WHATEVER i want. i never thought about that. literally nobody can stop me. aromanticism cuts so many ties from other people's realities and what they believe to be real. so many people HATE aromanticism or what it stands for even if they don't want to admit it. and that is everything to me.

but in a fandom space, where rules are so much more rigid than they appear, where you come to share your favourite things with other people and only find that everyone is trying to make it known that their opinion is the Most Correct One about your beloved series or franchise or whatever the hell, it's like. kinda really hard to exist. as an aromantic and as a member in general. the other day i saw a community post on youtube by this girl who got popular in a niche community and she was just really conflicted because on one hand she wanted to move on from the space and make things she actually was interested in but on the other hand she didn't want to give up what she loved about this game and she also didn't want to lose her audience. and man the amount of times i've seen that shit is pretty disheartening. it's really not an unfounded fear. i have SEEN people who do cool stuff die out because they got popular for something very specific. it's so draining to motivation for them and it's always a shame to see people you like give up because they just don't matter to very many others. my point by bringing this story up is to just give an example that i saw recently of how suffocating fandom is. people are mean, man. for a lot of people fan spaces are freeing and happy but i feel like sometimes we just forget that they'll never be as good as just having a group of friends in real life to discuss your favourite things with. because the internet is designed to divide and organise and if we're being honest i think a lot of people fall into the trap of feeding the cycle of trying to make fandom this Very Specific Thing when it's really just a bunch of guys. and god. people who participate in fandom. well by default they are already very online and so g-dang it they're kinda just pricks. and sometimes the sheer amount of mental disorder within these spaces it. y'know don't fuckin deny it man it adds to the assholeness sometimes.

so like. being such a small minority within fandom, as an aromantic, is also my rebellion here. fuck you. i'm not falling into the tropes assigned seemingly at random to force a dynamic between characters. i can see without the blurred lens of the Shipping Glasses™. i am pretty sure that being aromantic kinda makes the grasp on characterisation a little stronger because im not looking at things the same way some other people are. sorry to be on my high horse everyone. Enjoying your hobby vs. Joining the subreddit for that hobby. everything is aromantic. i have a beam for it. i'm sorry to all of the other aros who feel excluded from fan spaces because of the sheer invasiveness that comes with shipping culture and amatonormativity and just plain Assholes within fan spaces. just something i've been thinking about for like. fucking. a few years idk. all of the hatoful characters have that aro in them because i couldn't give less of a shit about bad takes (bad takes being They Are Not Aromantic). i've got good takes. this is aromanticism baby. okay i'm gonna go hang myself from a tree now bye bye.

#happy aromantic day of visibility everybirdie #hatoful boyfriend #aromantic #tidbits

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classpectpokerap · 7 months

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How do you feel about the portrayal of plurality in Homestuck? Because it’s not good.

Cherubs are “supposed” to predominate over their other personality. With Calliope being portrayed as naive for trying to co exist.

Horuss is mocked for being a system. But I’d say it was a king fun of people who pretend to be mentally Ill on social media for clicks.

Then their are the sprites

okay so

i guess we're doing this

HOMESTUCK AND PLURALITY: A PRIMER

BECAUSE JESUS CHRIST THERES SO MUCH

SO SO SO MUCH

okay. so

homestuck is one of the best pieces of media of all time for plurality and i fuckin mean it. no shot do not pass go i have NEVER seen anything that is more built from the ground up to Support plural reads. like, to the point where it feels impossible to read homestuck without it.

as a work dealing with two huge primary themes of a) finding yourself/identity/growing up, and b) ideas coming to life, plurality is pretty much the Perfect intersection between the two of them. like.

take rose for example.

rose is plural and it's great.

when the doomed timeline evaporates, future dream rose does not actually "cease to exist." she ceases to exist as her own person -- her memories, experiences, personality, thoughts (or, as shorthand, her selfstuff) all flows back into rose prime. and that experience is just something rose has to roll with. one becomes two -- that other rose is still in her mind.

jade's plural and it's great.

when her dream self awakens as jadesprite, jade has a horrific argument with her. if you're plural i'm sure you understand. fighting with an age-regressed version of you, stuck in a traumatic past, who WONT FUCKING LISTEN -- we've all . been there.

she has involuntary barks, she can't stop seeing images of fire, she wants to go back to nonexistence but she doesnt want to die and it's torture,

and then in cascade, jade fuses with her.

dream jade is still in there. that part of her she has to grapple with is still real. her dog who she loves is in there, too -- but, yknow. woof

then grimbark gets forcefully introjected into her. i've seen a few fics play with the idea that the grimbark personality is still residually there (read ygtpoasu), but it's not a huge thing that's explored in the text. more backgrounded. but still! her crisis of identity is in there.

wanna know what's NOT backgrounded

tavros's plurality is like, a pretty big factor in his character!!!! it's one of the bigger points vriska uses to bully him with (because she's projecting because she's projecting because she's projecting, because she's also plural and kins mindfang), it's like. a big thing that he has to cope with and figure out.

kanaya suggested tavros treat his self-confidence as his own brain guy, like, completely sincerely. she genuinely thought it would help, and it sorta did!!!!!

and like

it is FAR from the only positive example of plurality in the comic.

like. look at sollux and aradia defending "alternate reality copies" of characters -- which can be pretty easily extrapolated to them talking about fictives

like. !!!!

i dunno, man. i think that homestuck is a DEEPLY plural story. you should read mtm and kgtac for more exploration of these themes. read detective pony too while you're at it. like.

i havent even TOUCHED on horuss or dirk or karkat here because there is just so much. there's so much! like ultselves. oh my god i completely neglected to talk about ultselves or cherubs or --

augh

but anyway here's The Screenshots from mtm

homestuck is, like, the single most fictive compatible fictional work i've ever read.

"oh im being sent to another universe as a brain ghost? that happened to my buddy dirk"

"oh im one of many incarnations of myself, and perhaps not even the most 'canon compliant' one? haha dream bubbles moment"

"ive been isekai'd into another world? lol sburb"

it. yeah. god. i could literally talk about this all day. but instead im gonna direct you to my ao3.

check out no metaphors and then scroll through the "multiplicity/plurality" tag on my page

and if youve got more specific stuff, send in another ask!

#hs meta #homestuck #plurality #etch asks #tavros nitram

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spcewild · 10 months

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Hey... After playing mk1 i had this idea lingering in my mind as i was maining smoke. Could you write simething like, everytime reader and smoker fight together against a common enemy he always put himself in front of you, like a natural reaction for him its to protect you even tho you know how to defend yourself... And this being his mind not knowing how to express how much he likes the reader. Sorry haha i have no idea what i want im so sorry i love you and your fics

Hiii anon!!

Tysm for the request, this is such a cute idea <33

And I'm glad u like my fics!<3

I had to do some research on smoke so I can get his personality on point lol, if I wrote something that doesn't quite sound like something he'd say then please let me know! :)

Now here it is! ☆

Smoke x (gn!) Reader

Warnings: fluff, violence, smoke being a cutie patootie, and maybe some other things I missed.

Summary: Smoke is an obvious sweetheart who is willing to help you in battle - no matter what. But.. even if you don't need his help? You bet! He's still there!! :)

"You know I can defend myself right?"

You speak almost in a pout, when you see yet again - Smoke haul his body in front of you when you two were ambushed by some enemies. (Ones probably sent by Shang Tsung)

"Of course I know that!- it's just.. what if you get hurt- or-"

You half heartedly paid attention to his rambling when he started defending himself. Yet despite him speaking in his defense, he was still able to take out the remaining enemies surrounding you two.

You knew he didn't think you were weak or anything, it's just the way he was - a habit he made anytime he sensed danger or anytime an enemy would even come within 10 feet of you.

It didn't click in your mind that the reason He was doing this was because he liked you.

At first you just shrugged it off as him trying to be helpful.. or slightly too protective? It only took a few incidents that actually made it obvious to you though finally.

One being;

During training when you were put into a duo team - you were paired with smoke. You two fought against Johnny and Kenshi, a fair fight but anytime he saw either Johnny or Kenshi even look at you, he'd sprint over in front of you like he was some sort of human shield. It shocked you as much as it did Johnny and Kenshi the first time he did it. It didn't take long for them to get used to his habit of the action.

Although another incident made you question why he truly did it-

When you and Smoke decided to stroll down to Madam Bo's for a dinner (in his excuse taking you being a "professional" dinner of two combat partners) you two were walking on the sidewalk of the cobblestone earthy floor of road. But as you two were walking past a few food stands - you heard it before you could even see it; a crashing sound coming from one of the carts. Your mind processed what was happening but not in time for your body to react. Yet you felt strong arms wrap around your body as you squeezes your eyes shut, waiting for some sort of impact.

When met with nothing but silence you slowly opened an eye. Then the other.

You were now able to take in the view in front of you - Smoke with his arms wrapped around your waist , his body hovering over yours as his back was flushed against the cart that had tipped over. With little effort he managed to push the cart back into place with his back.

"Are you okay?!-"

You heard the man call out as his head turned back to you, his eyes wandering over your body as if he was checking for marks.

"I'm fine Tomas- thank you.."

Throughout the entire dinner you caught him taking glances at you as if he was making sure you were okay.

(Which he, of course, paid for all himself)

But what made you suspicious of most was when he jumped in front of you while you were solo dueling against Raiden.

You and Raiden were casually sparring, in request of Liu Kang to help train you both. Some people including Kung Lao and Johnny were watching as some were elsewhere. And surprise - Smoke was watching over you two like you would shatter at any minute.

While sparring you had to admit - you were losing. And it was... pretty obvious. Raiden was a very skilled fighter and losing against him would not be an uncommon occurrence.

Despite that, when Smoke saw Raiden pulling his arm back seemingly about to give a fatal blow - Smoke ran over onto action and jumped right between you and Raiden.

Standing there shocked for a moment before the fight continued - mostly just Smoke taking over your own fight.

That was the big giveaway for you - there was no way he was just doing this out of the kind of his heart? Right?

You finally decided that there was something going on about him, deciding that soon you would need ask him about it.

☆

Author's note:

Sorry this was so short! I wanted to finish it by the end of the night lol, I hope you enjoy this <3

REQUESTS: OPEN

#fanfic #headcanon #oneshot #writers on tumblr #x reader #mk1 2023 #mk1 spoilers #mk1 x reader #mk1 #mk1 smoke #smoke mk1

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pookieismissing09 · 3 months

Text

ok guys i never post on here but heres my take on the sturniolo space camp situation if anyone gives a fuck

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I DONT EXPECT ANYONE TO READ EVERYTHING NO ONE WILL PROB SEE THIS ANYWAY 💀 ill prob delete this icl its just a lil rant 🥰🥰

and if u disagree with me idc im just expressing my opinions 😭 read the whole thing so i can justify myself before u start attacking me

before i say anything im not just sticking up for nick just because im a fan of the triplets. like some people are only sticking up for him because they hate to admit that he would ever lie or do anything wrong- and they’re defending him with no reasoning other than “he would never 🥺” like stfu. what im saying is that i don’t know for sure whether the ‘bee better’ guy is telling the truth, for all i know he might be chatting utter shit. but if he is telling the truth, then im saying that i understand nick lied but its not necessarily a negative thing.

so like first of all i dont see the issue with nick not being the founder of the brand. like yes i understand its ‘morally wrong’ to lie and its misinformation but i think we will live… it doesnt make any difference to the products or the people who buy them. like ik people say that they only bought it to support nick and they wouldn’t have bought it if they knew it was just some random brand, but its not just some ‘random brand’- they are still supporting nick cos he gets payed for advocating it. by purchasing the products, theyre keeping the brand afloat which means nick will get payed for being the ‘face of the brand’ and doing a good job at advertising. or in simple terms, even if nick isnt the founder of the entire brand he is still a huge part of the company and is definetly getting a fat bag from all of this. like yall are acting like you wouldnt lie if a company said they would pay you to do so- bffr we would all do what nick did.

and the other main thing is everyone is complaining about the price all of a sudden. like if you are all protesting about how nick has nothing to do with the origin of the brand then surely he also wouldn’t be able to control the price? so according to everyone saying the lip balms are not his idea, don’t be mad at nick for the ridiculous pricing if he apparently ‘had nothing to do with it in the first place‘. and aside from that, the pricing literally had nothing to do with the fact that he lied about being the founder- it would probably cost the same either way so why are people only getting worked up about the pricing now that he is being ‘exposed’? like honestly people are just looking for excuses to say he’s a bad person like what 😭

and ik this doesnt have anything to do with spacecamp, but in general these days everyone is saying how the triplets don’t put any effort into their content anymore and only do it for the money. i think you are forgetting that youtube is their full time paying job. doing youtube as a hobby and doing it as a career are completely different- and most people find that when they pursue their hobbies as a career choice they start to enjoy it less since they feel under pressure to perform a certain way (and don’t come at me for saying that because im “babying” the triplets, piss off).

put it this way, people that have high paying jobs that sit in an office all day don’t do that type of work for their enjoyment- they only work in that environment because they want to receive a larger income instead of having an enjoyable job with a poor wage. this is exactly the same as the triplets’ situation, i doubt very much that they actually do youtube for their personal enjoyment. at the end of the day they have to pay the bills and youtube is their only job- its not always going to be fun like it used to be (both for them and for us watching).

and for all of you thinking ‘well they shouldnt be youtubers if they cant entertain people’ you have to understand that getting a different job takes time. like the whole process of finding a career, interviewing etc. and as well as that, they are probably terrified to even consider looking for another career because of their batshit crazy fans (including me 💀). like can we just cut them some slack and let them get on with their job 😭. and at the end of the day they cant just stop being youtubers, they will never be able to live their lives as regular people now that they have created their platform- i doubt they will ever do anything else bc of the fear of being recognised in public whilst they are doing a more “normal” job.

and for the love of god this is NOT me saying that the triplets are gonna quit youtube. like i said, its their full time job. im just giving my opinion on people saying they are only doing it for the money- and quite honestly they are, but is that really such a bad thing? like im sorry but they aren’t just posting for our entertainment, they need money one way or another.

also is anyone else excited for the stream later like i hope nick will say something about all this and not just stay quiet until it all blows over

i think thats all i was gonna say i cant remember but if theres more then i will say 😘😘😘 sorry i waffle alot

#sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #space camp #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #christoper sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic

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sleepy-writer-daydreams · 10 months

Text

Glimpse of Us

Ethan Morgan x GN!Reader

word count: 879 words

summary: you and ethan are dating, but he's not over sarah. and you can tell

a/n: image credit goes to sierra morgan on pinterest! im like so normal about ethan (not. i make him suffer but the next one of him will be fluff).

tags: angst/mild comfort ? not a happy ending

You looked into Ethan's eyes. They were entirely forced on yours, and you were both leaning in for a kiss. It wasn't until he put a hand around your waist and got you closer did he start to hesitate. You slightly pulled back from his face, your eyes staring deep into his once more.

"...What's wrong, Ethan?" You asked softly. You weren't sure how to feel about this, really. Ethan laughed awkwardly and shook his head, as if to get rid of something.

"Nothing, nothing."

You sighed, his arm dropping from your waist and going back to his side. He gave you a look, almost like a wounded puppy. You felt a stab of guilt, but you came to a sudden realization.

You had to put your foot down this time. You couldn't keep doing this, not when it was only damaging you and Ethan the longer this went on.

"...Ethan, can we talk for a second? Really talk."

His questioning eyes searched yours for an answer, but there wasn't any. There was a sense of defeat, if anything. He sat down on the couch, making sure to make room for you. You sat down beside him. You came here after school, and Jane was in her room.

So there was no good time as the present! Swallowing down a rush of nerves, you turned to face him. "Sometimes, it still feels like you have feelings for Sarah." His face paled when you said that, but he didn't deny it. You felt nauseous.

You wanted him to deny it, maybe even protest and ask why you would ask him such a thing, that you were the only person he'd ever have eyes for. But you knew that was asking him for too much.

You lightly touched his shoulder, and he stiffened, eyes glazing over immediately. You sighed. He was probably going through something, again. He never told you what he was going through in the few months you were dating, which lead to arguments almost every other week.

You weren't oblivious, ignorant, or naive. Something was weird in this time, but it always felt like you were going crazy that no one was addressing it.

A few seconds had only passed when his eyes had refocused, but it had felt like hours. He looked at you fearfully. "You're... you're not breaking up with me, are you?"

You rubbed the back of your neck awkwardly. You wanted to tell him no. But his actions had answered your question, a burning question that had been nagging for you since the day he agreed to go out with you. "I am, actually."

You waited for him to protest, again. Do something, anything, without looking at you like he had just lost something that he thought he wouldn't ever lose.

"Ethan. You're always dropping dates with me and going to Sarah whenever she needs help with something. You made me walk by myself! In the dark! You know this town is creepy, it's not safe!"

He opened his mouth to speak, but you held up a finger. "Shut up. I'm not finished. Whenever you touch me sometimes, you're always getting this dazed... look, in your eyes? Like you're not entirely here. And you either excuse yourself or go back to normal. But you almost always go to Sarah. Or Benny." You laughed. Not a genuine laugh, but a short, brief laugh.

"It's laughable. I've seen the way you look at her. And you don't have that look when you're with me. I'm sorry I couldn't be what she is. I know you say you're fine, but you're not."

You were foolish. Foolish to have a crush on an adorable dork who was into Star Wars and the X-Men and anything equally as nerdy.

"I'm breaking up with you."

"Yeah, I heard you the first time." He mumbled.

"Okay. Do you have any excuses? Reasons? Explanations? Try and defend yourself, Ethan. You can do it for everyone else but yourself. It's pathetic."

His eyes darted around. "...I'm a seer."

"What?"

"A seer, like I see things. I can see things from the future when I touch people sometimes, and--"

"Ethan," You sighed. "You're crying." You leaned in to dry some of his tears, but he pulled away.

"Don't. I-I- My friends, they're-- They're just like me, but not like me. I didn't want you to get involved, to get you hurt--" He sniffled.

"You don't have to worry about that, love." It's not like they ever had a choice, to stay blissfully unaware of everything around them. Everything really was in plain sight. It was stupid to think that he'd feel the same way as you.

"It's too late for us. I'm sorry." You picked up your backpack, slinging it over your shoulder. You went by the door. Refusing to look at him for quite possibly the last time, you opened the door. "Have a nice life, Ethan Morgan." You called out. And shut the door.

Maybe it was for the best you didn't see him crying, covering his face. Sure, he was still in love with Sarah. He never meant to hurt you. But he guessed that he did that anyways to you by agreeing to date you.

Its too late now, anyways.

♡♡♡

a/n: lmk what you guys think !!!!! i wrote this.. when. maybe a year ago? almost? insane! here's to writing more mbav fics!

#mbav ethan #ethan morgan x reader #my babysitters a vampire #trying to tag this is insane im so bad at tagging you guys #mbav fanfic #a's fanfiction #also i dont remember who said this but #i dont think people can actually See when ethan gets his visions they just happen #the white in his eyes are just to show Us the Viewers whats happening

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seongminiz · 7 months

Note

hello my luv!! ngl i was laughing my ass off when i found out seongmin had beat taeyoung’s horse cock allegations😭😭 but like picture this.. you’re taeyoung’s best friend who came along that exact video and decided to tease him over it when he came for movie night.

“better shut your mouth before i shove it in to shut it for you”

also would it be alright if i could become 🫙 anon? much love to youu🤍🤍🤍

(not me turning this into a whole ass fic help)(n ofc u can be 🫙 anon !!)

review : ★★☆☆☆ , not that big tbh

minors dni ; ~1.7k words

warnings not proof read its like 3am i'll fix this in the morning , dom taeyoung , bratty reader , rlly lighthearted unserious n kinda fluffy , oral (m rec) , unprotected sex :3 (its not a jo seongminiz fic without it tbh) , creampie , big dick taeyoung :') , bulge kink n a little of size kink ig ? idk taeyoung refers to reader as tiny in one instance , liiittle bit of dumbification , i used the words cock n dick so much in this they dont even feel like real words anymore send help , some of the dialog is kinda cringe sawrry abt that , the whole smut part is cringe tbh im going to set myself on fire how am i a smut writer that doesn't know how to write smut

note no bc the way they were talking abt cock n balls on national television like CAN WE HAVE SOME DECORUM PLS anyways ! THE WRITERS BLOCK HAS BEEN CURED Y'ALL cant believe it took taeyoung having a small dick to fix this i love ur brain anon bc like .. YES . i can picture this so well . n i am NAWT letting the taeyoung monster cock agenda go no matter what seongmin says ik hes lyingggg

deep down u know what seongmin said was nothing more than a joke with barely any truth to it. it's not like you're unfamiliar with taeyoung's size, having your fair experience of accidentally rubbing ur ass against him while you were cuddling one too many times and causing some awfully awkward accidents because of it.

still, teasing taeyoung is wayyy more fun than acknowledging any of that. and for once, actually grinding down on him to get a reaction while you're cuddled up on your couch, watching a shitty movie you picked randomly, is fun too.

you can clearly feel taeyoung's bulge growing, just as you can feel him trying to move behind you to make it a little better (and ultimately making it worse each time), and you can hear the way his breath gets heavier by the minute, trying to stifle a few whines here and there you want to hear more of so badly.

when you 'innocently' grind against him once more under the pretense of stretching, taeyoung's last weak bit of restraint is gone. he groans, a hand firmly gripping your hips to hold you in place and finally stop your cruel shenanigans.

'can you stop that?' taeyoung asks, voice strained. 'stop what?' you look behind you and up at him, eyes wide in the fakest innocent expression you can come up with.

'you know what i'm talking about, you're...' he sits up, finally freeing himself from the close contact with you and quickly grabbing a pillow to hide his boner. you smirk to yourself, shaking your head as you sit up too. 'you're making me hard...' he finally says, lowering his voice so you can barely hear him over the movie playing.

'oh!' your expressions shifts to one of even faker concern, pouting a little. 'sorry about that. i didn't really feel anything, though, that's why i didn't notice...' you both know your explanation is bullshit. taeyoung knows that, he's sure of it even as you whisper something along the lines of 'i guess seongmin was right about it not being that big.'

still, he somehow finds himself trying to desperately defend his pride, barely managing to stutter out something about seongmin being a liar and how you both know you're just playing along with that whole bit for shits and giggles.

'am i?' you tilt your head to the side, keeping up your act as well as you can until the inevitable happens. 'you know, i've never really seen it, so how would i know? i guess until i do, i'll just have to trust seongmin on his word...'

for the first time that night, taeyoung actually laughs. 'if you wanted to see my dick that bad, you should've just asked,' he moves the pillow away, and you can finally shamelessly stare at his very obvious bulge as much as you want. taeyoung takes his sweet time with it , undoing the strings of his sweatpants and hooking his thumbs in the waistband before looking up at you, taking in your shocked expression and the way you're basically hypnotized by the sight of his still clothed cock.

because holy shit. you knew seongmin was just messing with him when he made that joke, you knew he was somewhat big, but this?

'this is a fucking monster cock what the fuck?'

the words leave your mouth before you can properly process them and, at the same time, with a quick motion taeyoung gets rid of both his sweatpants and boxers at once, finally snapping you out of your dick-induced trance.

just to have you plummet into an even worse one, probably. because not only is taeyoung's dick enormous, it also looks pretty as fuck.

'told you so,' he simply says, one of his hands gently lifting your chin so you can face him, his demeanor suddenly more serious. 'you're still okay with this, right?'

'of course,' you manage to say, breaking the heavy eye contact for a split second to steal yet another glance at taeyoung's dick. despite your voice shaking, and your actions not matching your words, you try to once again keep up that same act that brought you exactly where you are right now. 'plus, i was right, it's not even that big.'

'oh, really?' taeyoung's hand leaves your face and slides down to your shoulder, a silent command you follow with no objections, sliding off the couch and to your knees on the cold floor beneath you, right between his legs.

and face to face with his cock.

'let's hope it's at least big enough to shut you up, then,' taeyoung runs his hand through your hair, firmly gripping it 'maybe you'll be able to put your moth to good use for once.'

at that moment, you genuinely wish taeyoung was smaller. because no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to be able to take all of him in your mouth, using your hand to cover the part you can't reach.

truth is, taeyoung isn't as relaxed as he would want to be either. the simple fact you can't take all of him is enough to rile him up even more, fighting the urge to just take charge and fuck your mouth like he really wants to.

'so much for it not being that big, huh?' his words come out weak, broken by small moans and whimpers in between them.

of course you don't- you can't reply to taeyoung's taunts, at least verbally, so you opt for trying to take him deeper. the action makes you gag, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat. taeyoung almost cums right then and there, his resolve slowly crumbling and breaking down as he pulls you off of him.

after all, he has greater plans than just cumming down your throat. and if the way you whimper and rub your thighs together once he leaves your mouth empty is anything to go by, you do too.

taeyoung gently helps you up and back on the couch. his lips are immediately on yours, pulling you into a heated makeout as he gets rid of your shorts and underwear, sliding one hand between your legs to be met with your soaked cunt. you whine into the kiss, pulling away from him and grabbing on his wrist.

'don't tease me,' you complain. taeyoung wants to laugh at you. after all you've done and said, you are the one who doesn't want to be teased? if that's what you want, though...

'right, you said it's not that big anyways, you should be able to take it right away, no?'

what taeyoung didn't expect you to do was actually agree. you desperately nod, hand still wrapped around his wrist 'i can take it, please.'

or maybe you can't, but at this moment you'd rather die impaled on your best friend's cock than admit you were wrong, even when all the evidence - especially your own lived one - points to your defeat.

you definitely can't.

that's what you realize as taeyoung starts to push the head of his cock inside you and your eyes immediately fill with tears.

'fuck... you're so-'

'i'm not the problem here, you're just fucking big.' you cut him off. your head is spinning and, despite the pain, you can't deny how good you actually feel. how full you are, even as you look down and realize he's barely halfway inside of you.

you close your eyes, squeezing taeyoungs's hand. when did you even start holding it? you don't remember, probably somewhere between when you yelled at him to 'fucking slow down' and when you threatened to 'cut your dick off if you dare to cum before you're all the way in'.

luckily for taeyoung, your threats will have to wait and his cock - a national treasure at this point - will live to see another day.

now that he's fully buried inside your cunt, you can finally adjust to his size, slowly relaxing until it doesn't hurt (that much) anymore. 'you can move,' you say after a while, your hips bucking up in encouragement as taeyoungs's grip on your sides tightens.

'fucking finally, i thought i was going to die before i got to properly fuck you,' his joke and your laugh to it are short lived, cut off by the both of you moaning in unison as he starts picking up his pace.

you're so overwhelmed, you can feel taeyoung everywhere inside you, so deep you're pretty sure you should be dead at this point. you're grateful you're not, though, you're pretty sure if you were you wouldn't be able to feel the way the tip of his cock relentlessly bullies your sweet spot, paired with his fingers right on your clit and...

'fuck look at this,' you whine when the stimulation on your clit subsides, but your disappointment doesn't last long, taeyoung places that same hand on your lower stomach, pressing on the very evident bulge formed by taeyoungs's cock ramming inside you.

'but it's not that big right? fuck... maybe you're right, i might not be that big, maybe you're just too tiny for me.'

you moan at taeyoung's words, too far gone to properly process them as you mindlessly nod. 'aw, did i fuck you too dumb? can't think properly when i'm fucking you this good?' he coos at you, and you can't do anything but nod again.

'so full... going to cum,' you can barely speak before you're clenching down even more on his cock, cumming with no further warning.

if taeyoung wasn't about to cum before, he definitely is now, his hips picking up the pace even more as he helps you ride through your high and starts to overstimulate you chasing his own.

his dick twitches inside of you, and you swear you couldn't almost cum again just from that, as his hips stutter and finally slow down, his cum filling you up.

you're both panting, trying to recover from probably the most mind blowing highs of your life.

when you make eye contact with taeyoung, he starts laughing again.

'what?' you ask.

'so? did i change your mind?'

you shrug, suppressing your own laugh 'eh, not really... it wasn't that big to be honest'

:3 thats it bye omg shitty ending everybody say thank u jo seongminiz

#🍰 seongminiz !#🧇 crvt !#💭 . 🫙 anon !#cravity hard hours #cravity smut #taeyoung smut #taeyoung hard hours

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lunaavity · 1 year

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MAYBE IM IN LOVE?! - 15 libraries and games

wc - 3.1k 😧

“Knew i would find you here.”

The scraping of the chair in front of you made you look in front.Your eyes found Xiao’s, standing right infront of your table with two cups of coffee in his hands.

“You literally asked me to tell you where I was, don’t act all cocky now. Why are you even here, do you miss me that much?” You smiled teasingly at Xiao, ready for an eye roll or a disgusted look from him.

“Yeah actually, how’d you know?” Xiao casually muttered under his breath. He looks at you with a slightly challenging look. How sly of him.

Your cheeks blush slightly at his words, but you laugh it off. You take the cup of coffee in Xiao's hand that was meant for you. You had requested him to buy for you on his way here, thank god he remembered. You needed coffee very badly right now.

“I thought you wanted to quit caffeine?”

Words ignored, you gulp down the cup of coffee. Fuck whatever goal you set up for yourself this year. If not by drinking coffee, how else were you supposed to survive this 6 hour study session?

“limit myself, not stop entirely. I’m not insane to go a whole semester without coffee.” you retort as you put down the coffee and focus back on the work in front of you before xiao came. Right, music theory. Again. You weren’t sure if the gods had something out for you, but you just couldn’t grasp anything the teacher thought. In one ear, out of the other.

To say you were frustrated with yourself was an understatement. You were mentally beating yourself up, why couldn’t you get this?? It was supposed to be easy. Xiao could understand it, why couldn’t you?

The silence between the both of you stretched far and long, and apparently, Xiao had just enough of you looking down at the book and trying to figure things out.

“Okay, that’s enough. Get up.”

You dismissed Xiao with a shake of your head, shooing him away. If he was here to disturb you, he should just go away. As much as you would love to stare at him and giggle to yourself how good he looks right now, you would rather be able to understand the course at hand. Academics comes first before boys, obviously.

“I’m okay Xiao, you can go if you want to. Thanks for the coffee, I’ll pay you back tomorrow.” You looked up to him, and smiled but looked back down just a second later, focusing back on the textbook in front of you.

Xiao huffs at you, were you seriously going to hole yourself up in this library? Fine. If you weren’t going to follow him, he’ll just force you to.

“Yours, mine.” says Xiao as he hands you a remote controller. You furrow your eyebrows and the gaming device. How did your study-for-6-hour-plan turned into this? one word, Xiao.

The little shit had dragged you out of the library, saying that if he let you stay in there for another hour, you would be reported dead by exhaustion, which was not true. You took your breaks when you needed to! every one and a half hours you would let yourself scroll on your phone for 5 minutes, and then go back to studying. Talk about study rest balance.

“Are you just going to stare at the tv? don’t tell me you don’t know how to play the game.” Xiao looks at you with his eyebrows raised, and you felt the need to defend yourself.

“I’m a broke college student. What makes you think I have the time or the money to play games and study?” You said as you crossed your arms. You felt a little belittled when he directed his question at you. Truth to be said, you haven’t held a controller in ages, the last time was probably at some rich friend's house when you were in middle school. Gaming was never your sort of thing, you leaned more to instruments and music.

You felt a bit dumbfounded as you stared at the tv. You had no idea what game Xiao decided on. You couldn’t even remember the controls on the controller anymore. But one thing about you was you, you were stubborn, and hard headed. And had just a little bit of an ego problem

“Just teach me how to play, I’ll beat you in no time.”

previous masterlist next

notes — xiao making moves 😵‍💫😵‍💫 ALSO IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IM BETTER THAN HIM NOT I BEAT HIS ASS IDK WHAT I WAS DOING IM SAWRY

synopsis — xiao, the so called 'face of the music department' , or your crush, bumped into you! the 'beauty of the music majors'. for forgiveness, you give him a flower and run off. only for him to tweet about the incident and blow up! does the world really need to know about everything?

taglist (open) — @soobin-chois @ferumie @pissmori @zyilas @sunsethw4 @mellowknightcolorfarm @kzzuhaluv @ilocqua @mikctp @minyoungieee @swivy123 @lemontum @letmechosemynamepls @sakiimeo @zomzomb1e @mimievi @imkaaayy @ganyusbrideee @lovely028 @hangecanweholdhands @ultimate-imagines @ohmyfinggod @o6hellnah @rifran @starsxnight @candy-purple-cyanide @reikofruitloops @moon-320

#xiao smau #xiao x reader #genshin impact xiao #xiao fluff #xiao x you #xiao genshin x reader #genshin xiao #genshin impact x reader #genshin smau #genshin x you #maybe im in love?!

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lifebyinez · 1 year

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Tiny Fires - Emily Prentiss x Reader

Chapter 1- The Big Move

-Emily's POV-

"Absolutely Not." I was met with a disapproving groan from the rest of the team. I crossed my arms and shook my head at them. "It is not happening. I am more than capable of defending myself. I am not leaving my house, and I certainly am not leaving the team." They must be crazy, thinking I would leave my house, my job, and my life behind. Especially to live with her. JJ places her hand on my knee. "Emily, we're not asking you to leave. We are asking you to take a break for your own safety. Not to mention the safety of the team." I scoffed at her. This whole situation was pissing me off more than you can imagine.

Years ago, there was a case in Cincinnati that ended in a shootout. There had been 2 unsubs, a husband and wife. Rachel, the wife, had her gun on JJ, and I took the shot that ended her life. James had escaped. We tried for weeks to catch him, but he might as well have disappeared. He was... gone. Well, 8 years later he is back and he wants revenge. I killed his wife, and he wants to kill me. Which is why the team is trying to force me into hiding with my least favorite person on the planet.

Rossi spoke up, "Prentiss, you don't have a choice in this. It's for your own safety." Excuse me? "Im sorry, did you forget that I am your boss?" It was Reid's turn to speak now. "No, we haven't forgotten. But he knows you, in and out. He's been watching you for years, and he's preparing to kill you. Which means he knows that you don't particularly enjoy Y/N, which is why her home is the perfect place to lay low." He had a point. Their plan made perfect sense. Buy a plane ticket in my name, turn in my resignation, and have me disappear to another country. He would follow 'me' there. There would be an apartment in my name in whatever country they choose. He would drive himself crazy trying to find me, with the fake tracks we would lay. In a way, it was my only option. If I actually fled the country, he would find me. If I faked my death, he would dig up my grave to make sure I was actually dead. If I stayed in a hotel, he would see the card transactions, the name it was in, and he would figure it out. Honestly, I know staying. with Y/N is the only safe option, but I do not want to accept it.

Y/N was a pain in my ass. Every time we were on a case, it was like she was trying to get herself killed. She just brushed it off when I yelled at her. I honestly don't understand how she got here, let alone how she is still alive. I would have fired her a long time ago, but she is fantastic at her job, I'll give her that, But that's all she has going for her. It almost cancels out her amazing profiling skills. Almost. I wouldn't say I hate her, but her carelessness with her life absolutely infuriates me.

"Even if I agree to this, what makes you think she will?" I asked. Penelope spoke, "Maybe because she is absolutely desperate for your approval. That and I already asked her, she said yes." I groaned. Of course, she would, another stupid and dangerous thing for her to do. Of course, she's all for it. "And what if he figures it out? He'll target her, you know." I said. JJ sighed, "We have it figured out, Emily. You and her just can't know those details, but he won't know. You just have to trust us. Please." I thought about it for a moment. They're not going to let this go, and my options are limited. "What about Sergio?" I desperately tried to find any reason to not go through with it, but it was becoming more apparent that I didn't have another choice. "Oh please," Garcia responded, " you think I didn't think about that? You know Y/N loves cats. She said you're both welcome as long as you need."

"Fine."

I wasn't allowed to pack anything. The movers had to do it all, for fear of him following me. And right now, I looked completely ridiculous. Blonde wig, a lot of makeup, sunglasses, bright clothes. I looked nothing like myself. I was riding in the back of the SUV, completely hidden by the tinted windows. This get-up was completely unnecessary, but they insisted. Derek was driving, and trying to make small talk. I was too pissed off to give more than a 3-word reply. 45 minutes later, I was in front of Y/N's house. I have to admit, it was impressive. It's beautiful here, the house was completely secluded. Surrounded by woodlands, with a small creek running alongside the house. The house looked like an oversized cottage, it was lovely, and totally Y/N. I'm surprised she was able to afford this, she was much younger than the rest of the team, and as far as I know, she didn't come from money. Either way, I could think of worse places to go into hiding. Even if it was with someone as intolerable as Y/N.

Y/N was standing on the porch with Sergio in her arms. What the hell? Sergio doesn't let anyone pick him up. Especially strangers. She smiled at me and took Sergio's paw and waved it. Derek looked back at me. "Go into the house, and go fast." I nodded. " And Emily? Try and release all of that tension you have with that poor girl. And when you do, feel free to send me the video." Oh my god, he will never let up with that, and it's ridiculous. When Y/n first started, the team liked to joke that she was exactly my type. To be fair, they weren't wrong. Her y/h/c, y/e/c, and that body... But none of that mattered the minute she opened her mouth. "In your dreams, Derek." I said as I got out of the car. I speed walked up the porch, and she held the door open for me.

"Hi! Welcome home. I know you're probably tired, but I figured we could get the tour over as soon as possible, so you'll have time to relax?" I just nodded at her, already finding myself getting irritated. I saw a flash of disappointment in her eyes, but she turned around before I could study it. She turned to her left. "That's the living room, TV remote is on the coffee table. I don't watch much TV, so it's pretty much always available, and if you want to watch something and I'm using it, just let me know. I'll find something else to do." She spoke quickly and with an excited tone in her voice. "You do not have to do that, this is your house." "I insist! if you're going to be cooped up here for a long time, you at least have to be entertained." Before I could argue with her, she turned to her right and started walking. "This is the family room. This is where I normally hang out when I'm not downstairs. But if you want to be in here and I'm annoying you feel free to kick me out." Geez, now I'm starting to feel bad. I was about to say something but she continued on. She pointed at the piano "I can teach you how to use that if you want." She didn't give me time to respond before walking through the French doors into the kitchen/dining room. The kitchen was adorable, filled with little nicknacks and foliage that just screamed Y/N. It was very much her home. "I went grocery shopping before you came, but I wasn't sure what you liked. I put a little notebook in your room for you to make lists of what you would like me to pick up when I go shopping. I can go tomorrow if you'd like." I didn't answer her question, instead, I asked my own. " Why do you have a table that big if you live alone." She stopped in her tracks. I couldn't read the expression on her face. She stumbled over her words. "oh, uh... That's probably a story for a different time." She started walking towards the stairs. "Downstairs is a bar, bathroom, and laundry room. Drink whatever you would like." She started walking up the stairs. There was a cute little loft area. There were lots of candles, plants, and cute decorations that matched y/n perfectly. She lead me to a door and held it open for me. I walked into what I presume to be her office. There's a small couch, a desk with her computer, and a lifetime supply of books. Every room had touches of y/n's personality. "Read anything you want, and let me know what kind of books you like. I get a really good discount at this little family bookstore 20 minutes away. I guess you can say I'm a very loyal customer." She smiled at me, I didn't smile back. "The password on the computer is in that drawer, use it whenever you'd like." She turned and walked out of the room. We continued on with the tour, showing me the main bathroom. She opened another door, "This is my room." The room isn't what you'd expect from a 26-year-old girl. There were a lot of older art pieces, another bookshelf that was stocked to the brim. A soft orange color painted the walls, and just like the rest of the house, so many plants. I started to wonder how she managed to keep all of them alive.

It was all so Y/N. The paintings, the old-timey decor, the plants. It was all her, and it was actually quite endearing. If only she wasn't insufferable. She looked up and me, but I didn't meet her eyes. "Okay, are you ready to see your room?" I nodded at her. She lead me across the loft and opened what I assumed to be my door. "I'm sorry it's so plain, I didn't have much time to prepare." I don't know what she's talking about, the room isn't plain at all. Little touches of her sprinkled throughout. I nodded in her direction again. I was about to say something but she spoke first. She looked like she was trying not to cry. "Look, I know you would rather be anywhere else in the world right now, and I'm sorry you got stuck with me here. I'll try and stay out of your way." I wanted to say something, to apologize, but nothing came out. She waited a moment to see if I had anything to say, and when I didn't, she walked out.

I'm an idiot. That was so incredibly rude of me. I need to apologize.

But I should probably let her have space. I'm sure she's not happy having me here. It's certainly going to be an adjustment for both of us.

I looked around the room. She had obviously prepared for this. The bed was made perfectly, but there was a basket of extra blankets, sheets, and pillows on top of the dresser. And on the nightstand, a basket of snacks. All of my favorites... how did she know what kind of snacks I like? Taped to the basket was a note reading 'Welcome home'. Oh my god, I am a jerk.

I could feel the exhaustion taking over my body. I didn't bother changing my clothes, I just laid down and drifted into a deep sleep. So deep, that I didn't hear the knocking on my door, or y/n entering.

When I woke up, it was dark outside. I rolled over to check my phone to see what time it was, but my hand landed on something soft and warm. She made dinner. And it smelled absolutely amazing. I took a closer look and could immediately tell it was all homemade. Chicken and gnocchi soup next to a plate of chicken marsala. Oh my god, it tasted even better than it looked!

Then it dawned on me, I still hadn't apologized.

I knocked on her door, and I heard no response. Okay, she must be downstairs. But she wasn't in the living room, or the family room, or the kitchen. Now I'm getting worried. Where the hell would she go this late? "Y/n!" I called out, not caring that my voice was shaky and panicked. No answer. I called again, but still no answer. I rushed downstairs. She wasn't in the bar, the laundry room, or the bathroom. I tried to check another room, but it was locked. I yelled for her again, but still no answer. I called her phone again and again. Each time it rang and rang until it went to voicemail. I checked every room in the house again, and I still didn't see her. I felt like I could throw up. I checked the living room, and just like the other 3 times I looked, she wasn't there. I was about to call Garcia to trace her phone when lightning flashed outside. I instantly calmed down. She was outside. Who the hell goes outside during a thunderstorm at 1 in the morning? I opened the door but she didn't hear me. I took a second to admire her like this. No mask to cover her feelings. Just content to be outside. Truth be told, she looked gorgeous. her hair fell over her shoulders. She didn't notice as I moved closer to her, content to just stare at the rain. I put my hand on her shoulder and she yelped and jumped back. She looked up at me, her eyes wide with fear before softening upon seeing me. "Oh, it's just you. You scared me!" I took a good long look at her before speaking, "You scared me more." She looked confused but didn't question it. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you liked to sit outside during storms either, I'll go and give you some alone time. Does she really think that I hate her that much? I didn't respond as I sat down next to her.

"No, you don't need to go."

#emily prentiss #prentiss #criminal minds #emily prentiss x reader #criminal minds x reader

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