#im not being very serious.. i just mean that i have made a small place in my heart for them to reside :)

[lainpsx]

sometimes a character is so good i decide to install them into my brain. they help me make decisions and keep me entertained when im bored. only the most elite of my favorite characters are allowed to reside in my brain. here are some: ryu from streets, super mario, kim kitsuragi, sasuke uchiha, minato arisato, and yusuke kitagawa

[strangersynth]

bc you have things to say doesn't always mean you needa say them let alone it also doesn't always mean it's your place to say them kwim

[that-sarcastic-writer]

Mind Games (2)

Direct cntinuation to Mind games (til we lose control) (takes place before lost time)

Ben/Soldier Boy X Supe!Fem!reader

Summary: Herogasm proves to be a disaster for everyone involved, but at least you and Ben still have each other at the end of the night. Takes places during the Herogasm episode but like I did my own shit

Warnings: explicit sexual content, minors dni, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it mfs), p in v, shower sex (pls don't try to recreate this, SB has super strength, your man does not, you might break sum), oral (f receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, creampie, dom!Soldier Boy, praising kink, Ben calls her mean things a lot (but she likes it), choking, hair pulling, spitting, Soldier Boy cause mf is a warning on his own, typical canonical violence for this show, no use of y/n, Violet isn't her real name, just a nickname.

WC: 6.9k I'm so sorry

A/N: WHAT DID I TELL YALL MFSSS. Took me 2 years to revisit it but yk what it's fine cause every year is Soldier Boy's year. So yeah here we are. I will warn yall im not too good at writing action/fight scenes, like it made sense in my head but idk if that image translated well into the scene. I only know how to write smut im sorry. But to my Ben/Jensen girlie's, this is for you. I'll see yall in hell <3

Gif is not mine I found it on Pinterest

Universe masterlist | I no longer have a tag list so if you'd like to keep up with updates follow @midnightreadinglibrary

Fucking Herogasm. Christ, you didn't remember the last time you were here. Funny, the last time you went to a Herogasm party it was coincidentally with Ben. And it was in fact the last one you ever went to. It never felt right to go back without him. 

"Fuckin' Herogasm," Butcher laughed and shook his head, glancing back at you with intrigue, "You ever been Violet?" 

Your lips curled up a bit and you licked your lips slowly, glancing at Ben for a second before you found two pairs of curious eyes on you. 

"Yeah, every year for like ten years." You responded, and you were met with a look of disbelief from Hughie, and even Butcher had a slight glint of surprise in his eyes. Perhaps they didn't take you as the orgy, drugs and depravity type of supe, not that you blame them, that never truly was your idea of fun. But you weren’t entirely innocent either. "I'm serious. You can ask Ben if you don't believe me." 

Both men gave Ben a long glance and he laughed, shrugging at you. 

"She ain’t lying, I took her to her first one, in 74' was it? Should've seen her, such a pretty doe-eyed lil’ thing, with a face like hers she fooled everyone." 

"Oh, yeah, you showed innocent little me all the ropes. It was very educational." You rolled your eyes, trying to hide the small grin on your face, and Ben had one of his own. 

For a moment you forgot neither of the other two men quite understood whatever was going between you and Ben, so you missed the uncomfortable look on their faces. 

"Oh, I showed you a hell of a lot more than just the ropes, sweetheart." 

"And I'll show you both the barrel of a gun if I have to endure another second of your trip down erotic memory lane. Can we focus here?" Butcher groaned, looking both annoyed and disturbed by your relationship, like a parent who was tired of keeping his two horny teenagers in line. 

You exchanged a look with Ben, eyes big and lips pursed as you tried not to laugh and you gave him a look of having just been scolded. He simply rolled his eyes and half paid attention to Hughie and Butcher as they went back and forth about who was going in first. 

You, as always, just stood there and observed, absentmindedly twirling your knife between your fingers as you listened to them agree that Hughie should go in first so you could be in and out as quickly as possible. In between your own priorities, Ben being the main one, you had almost forgotten why you were here in the first place. Despite the fact that you were picking off Payback's members one by one, you quickly realized this wasn't for you, or Ben and his plot for revenge. No, it was about Butcher getting his. And the two of you were simply there to make it happen. 

You had begun to wonder if this was all there was to it, a means to an end, and in reality neither you or Ben had much of a chance to make it out this revenge mission alive. But if there was something you knew for sure, it was that you would die before you let anything happen to Ben again. Deep down, you hoped he would do the same for you. 

"I'm gonna go check the area before we go in, make sure there aren't any surprises." Butcher announced after a minute or two of waiting, Hughie not being back yet. He started walking, but not before turning to glance at you both with narrowed eyes, "And you two behave, last time I left you cunts alone you broke a bathroom." 

You did a mocking salute to him and snorted when he rolled his eyes at you, grumbling something you didn't quite hear as he began to walk away. He was out of your sight pretty quickly and you could already feel Ben's intense gaze burn on your face. You ignored it at first, but when he stood in front of you, eyes never leaving you, you had no choice but to look at him. You stopped your fidgeting and you looked up at him expectantly as you leaned back against a tree.

"I don't need to read your mind to know you want to tell me something, what's up?" 

"What you said back at the motel, did you mean it?" He questioned, leaning close to your face as he placed a hand beside your head. You stared at him for a second, trying to dig in your mind for whatever it was that he meant. You found his green eyes and you realized. 

Ah. The three fucking words. 

"Seriously Ben?" You groaned, your head falling to the side with annoyance, but more of all you wanted to avoid his gaze, avoid the shame of having confessed your deepest feelings, knowing feelings wasn't something either of you ever talked about let alone ever admitted to. Because feelings meant vulnerability, and vulnerability meant weakness. And weakness wasn't something either of you would ever admit to.

He grabbed your chin, grip tight as he forced you to look at him, "Did you? ‘Cause I meant what I said, all of it." 

Your face softened and your lips slightly curved into a tiny smile. You never wanted to search his mind without his permission, it was like a line you never liked to cross, but you didn't need to this time. Just by looking into his eyes you always knew. You could tell a lot by looking into someone’s eyes. You searched his eyes for any kind of deceit or even manipulation, but you didn't find any. You knew what he meant, and coming from him, it meant everything. 

"Yeah," You sighed softly, "I meant what I said." 

"Good." His pink lips curved into a satisfied smirk as he squeezed your face and leaned down, capturing your lips into his own. It was slower, no rushed and desperate touches like before, but he still kissed you hard. There was nothing gentle about it, but was there ever anything gentle about him? 

His tongue slipped into your mouth as he dropped his hand, resting it on the column of your neck. He pressed his armored chest against yours, pretty much pinning you against the tree. His mouth was so skilled, like he knew exactly how to take your breath away in seconds, he knew you that well. You would never allow a man to have this much control over you. But it was always different with him. Your hands found his long strands as you explored his mouth, and you pulled hard. You felt him groan against your mouth and he squeezed your neck in response. You gasped, the sound quickly fading into a soft moan. He pulled back and watched with amusement the look of pure ecstasy on your face as he squeezed your throat. 

"You fucking slut, you still get off to me hurting you, don't you?" He bit his lip as he released your throat, thumb brushing over the skin he knew would bruise, just like everybody else's, even if it was for a little bit. 

You inhaled deeply, the short lack of airflow making you dizzy, but in the most delicious way possible. You opened your eyes, finding his green ones and god you wished nothing but to just ditch the mission and go somewhere where he could take you, over and over again. 

"Are we here to get revenge or are we here to get your dick wet? ‘Cause I'm getting some real mixed signals here." You mumbled, breath heavy and he chuckled. He leaned down, pressing his lips to your jaw before he moved them to your ear. 

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard I'm gonna break a hell of a lot more than just a mirror." He coaxed. The way he spoke in your ear made you rub your thighs together and the pool forming in your panties was impossible to ignore. It was embarrassing how quickly he could pull you apart and do with you what he pleased. "When we get back. Now pull yourself together, we're on a mission." 

And just like that he was standing a few feet away from you. He was looking behind his shoulder, almost as if he could hear someone. And of course, just in time for you to somewhat regain your composure, Butcher came back. Though it wasn't before you locked eyes with Ben one more time as you tried to control your breathing, and the cocky bastard winked at you, lips curled into a shit eating grin before Butcher actually approached you both. 

This motherfucker. 

"All clear. The twins are in there. You shouldn't have a problem going in," He said to Ben, but then looked at you, "You, though, you might get some attention. Pretty girl, dressed in black leather and strapped with knives, that's some BDSM shit if I've seen one." 

"Okay and?" You frowned, now standing by both men.

"Just stay close to him, people might recognize you and approach you. Do what you can to keep a low profile. You might have to get your hands a bit dirty." He looked between you and Ben. You stared at him with a small frown at first, but when he raised his eyebrows at you, you quickly realized what he meant. 

"Wouldn't be the first time." Ben commented with a chuckle when he caught on. You looked at him, slightly unimpressed by his lack of discretion but you simply rolled your eyes. 

Butcher sighed heavily, clearly done with your antics by then and he simply motioned you off with an unimpressed expression, "Off you go, ya dirty cunts." 

"Looks like you might get your dick wet after all." You commented to Ben as you both headed off to the house. 

He chuckled, shooting you a glance as you stood in front of the door. You were both eager to get this over with, you more than him. It was one thing for him to be able to face the assholes that betrayed him, and you were happy to do it with him. But the idea of being around dozens of supes, in an environment where there were no rules, no respect and no boundaries, made you uneasy. You didn't know if you could handle that many voices all at once. It had been a long time since you had been around other Supes, let alone that many, and you had made that decision for a reason. 

Almost as if he could feel the anxiety radiate from you, you felt a large hand fill your own. Confused, you looked down and saw he had intertwined his fingers with your own. "There's nothing to be nervous about, sweetheart, it wouldn't be the first time we do this." 

"I haven't been around other supes since…" You inhaled deeply, your throat slightly closing up at the memory. The last time you stepped foot at Vought Tower, when you realized you couldn't do it anymore. Ben looked at you, eyebrows slightly knitted into a frown, "It's been a long time is all." 

"Just stay by my side, nobody will lay a hand on you. I'll always protect you, remember?" He gave your hand a slight squeeze and the calm yet assertive ring in his voice made you feel almost at ease. Almost. 

You stayed silent, needing all your energy and focus to keep the dozens of voices beginning to infiltrate your mind one by one. The sound of Ben speaking as a very naked man opened the door sounded far, distant, you didn't catch much of what they said. You only knew to move when you felt Ben tug you along. Now the sound of your racing heart was almost as loud as the voices. So fucking many people here. So many Supes. So many voices. All at once. It was deafening. It disgusted you, to have to hear every passing thought these depraved beings had. You didn’t realize you started digging your blunt nails into Ben’s gloves.

It didn’t hurt, but your enhanced strength definitely made him feel the tightening grip of your shaking hands. He stopped and looked at you with a twisted frown.

“The fuck is wrong with you now? You look like you saw your father.” 

You eyes snapped up to find him looking back at you with both confusion, and his version of concern. You opened your mouth but you could only stammer but no words actually came out. You couldn’t think. It was so loud. Your lip quivered ever so slightly as you felt your chest start to grow heavy. Ben saw the look on your face, the way your eyes were frantically looking around the room, your jaw wound up so tight he thought you’d break it. The last time he saw you like this was when you first joined Payback and didn’t have full control of your abilities. 

“Stop that, right now.” He gripped your shoulders hard, really fucking hard, enough to make you shift your focus on him for a moment. You looked at him with wide eyes. “Hey, I need you to focus. Get your head under control. I need you to have my back here, okay?”

“I… I don’t.. I can’t get them to stop. They won’t stop.” You said, so close to being on the verge of tears. “There’s so many, I can’t get them to shut the fuck up. I--” 

“Hey,” He shook you ever so slightly, leaning in close to your face. “The fuck did I just say? Get. yourself. Together. You used to tune ‘em out, remember? So tune them out.” 

You breathed in, your chest rising as you tried to drown out the noise, focus on his face, on his voice. But you couldn’t. You hadn’t been around this many people in nearly a decade.

“I can’t. I just can’t. I can’t be here. I’m sorry.” You shook your head frantically and tried to slip out of his grip but he didn’t let you. 

“I need you here. Just—hey,” he grabbed your jaw, looking out of the corner of his eyes to make sure you weren’t bringing in too much attention before he met your teary eyes. “Just look at me. I’m right here. Remember you used to tune everyone else out and only focus on my voice, hm? Focus on my thoughts, okay? It’s just you and me, fuck everyone else.” 

You stared at him, the green in his eyes seeming more and more green the longer you looked. You even saw a ring yellow in there. His voice. His thoughts, they had always calmed you, centered you. The voices grew more and more distant the longer you looked at him. You listened to his voice as his thoughts became your own. Until only the sound of his voice was in your head. Your breath was shaky as you closed your eyes, a laugh of relief leaving your lips.

He held your face for a little longer, his deep frown less harsh as he watched your face slowly visibly relax and the tension left your body.

“Are we good?”

“Yeah, we’re good.” You exhaled deeply and nodded at him, feeling like you were slowly regaining control of yourself. “Let’s go find the terror twins.” 

You walked around this house for what felt like hours. But it didn’t help that you were being stopped every five minutes by every naked Supe you walked by. Ben was anything but amused.

“I swear to fucking Christ if one more of these slimy jizz-covered fuck faces asks you to use your knives on them I will actually shove my shield up their ass.” Ben grumbled with a look of disgust on his face.

“They’d probably like that.” You had to bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing at the death glare he shot you.

“Eat shit.” You actually snorted this time, and you were full on giggling when he started mumbling curses at you as he walked off. 

You ultimately decided splitting up was probably the way to go, the house was way too big and had too many rooms, you’d find the twins quicker if you each went your own way. Ben was reluctant at first, a bit apprehensive to leave you on your own after you almost broke down earlier. But you reassured him you were fine and perfectly capable of going on your own. You ultimately realized you made the right choice. You didn’t know exactly when or how but out of nowhere you heard a loud blast in the next room and you were launched right through a wall from the blast. Pain immediately started shooting through your body at the impact. You were a Supe, sure, but you weren’t Soldier Boy, you weren’t fucking invincible. You bled and you felt pain like any human. 

It took you a good minute to understand what the actual fuck had just happened. And when you did, you almost forgot about the throbbing pain going through your body. You pushed yourself up to your feet, stumbling and holding on to walls as you dragged yourself through the rubble and burned bodies. Your jaw slightly fell open at the sight of this much mayhem. You didn’t believe in God, but fuck were you praying to a higher power for Ben to be okay. 

You managed to stay on your feet despite the pain. It would go away eventually, in a day or so, but the first few hours were brutal. Still you pushed through, determined to find Ben. You stumbled into a hallway, the walls were falling apart and chunks of cement were all around the floor. But what caught your attention was the sight that fucking American flag and blonde head of hair you had grown to despise. Your heart stopped, you were frozen. You held your breath as you realized fucking Homelander was here. And he currently had Ben pinned to a wall.

This was such a bad fucking idea. You could die a very agonizing death. A bad idea indeed. 

Adrenaline kicked in, you sprinted and with a bit of momentum you landed on Homelander’s shoulders. You were surprised he didn’t hear you coming.You were thankful he was preoccupied with Ben. Your nails dug into the side of his temples and you used all of the energy and power you had coursing through your veins, and sent that straight to his brain.

You weren’t sure if it would even tickle. You tried using your shock powers on Ben once, a long time ago, just to test out how it worked on Supes with enhanced strength, he said it felt like being electrocuted. And right about now you were praying Homelander felt something, enough to stun him at least. You could kill an average Supe if you used enough power, but you weren’t so sure if you were strong enough.

You held on, but you were struggling, commanding your body to release this much energy was mentally exhausting but the sound of Homelander groaning in pain made you smile the slightest bit. The shocks of electricity weren’t going to kill him, but it sure did hurt, and it stunned him. Nobody’s brain was invisible afterall. 

“Hurts, doesn’t it motherfucker? Your body may be indestructible but your mind can only take so much before it breaks.” You spat. Sparks were coming from your fingers as your eyes flashed bright purple. “It’s fucked when its you being held down against your will, huh?”

He screamed, stumbling around as he attempted to grab at you, but this wasn’t the first time you tried to fry someone’s brain off while on their shoulders. You gasped when you saw his laser eyes go off as he screamed, leaving indents on the wall. This split second of distraction was enough to make your focus falter, and it gave Homelander the opportunity to find a grip on you. You cried in pain when he grabbed your ankle and tossed you off. 

You landed fucking hard, it knocked the air right out of your lungs. You coughed as you attempted to get up, but Homelander was grabbing you and pulling you up by your neck before you could blink. He held you up in the air as he levitated so you couldn’t find a way to escape. He held you at arm’s length so you couldn’t reach him, either. The way his empty, ice cold eyes stared you down with evil glee as you gasped for air was terrifying. 

“I always knew you were a fucking bitch. I should’ve killed you when I had the chance. Matter of fact, I’ll do that right now.” Your eyes widened when his eyes gleamed bright red. 

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Ben behind Homelander, with a grin as he grabbed Homelander’s cape and pulled down, and he pulled really fucking hard. Your body collided with the ground roughly, landing on your side with a pained cry. But you still saw Ben throw Homelander around by his cape, and had you not been mere seconds away from death, you would have laughed at the comedic irony. You were in and out of consciousness, an aura surrounding your vision. But in between your delirium you could see Butcher and Hughie had arrived, and the three of them were taking on Homelander. It wasn’t long before the three of them had Homelander pinned down. You could feel yourself fade, your muscles give out and your mind shut off. You hadn’t used that much power since you were in Payback. 

You heard indistinct voices and shouting before everything went black. 

“The fuck are you waitin’ for? Blast this cunt!” Butcher shouted and Ben grunted.

“I can’t! Just—Fuck.” His eyes found you in the corner, bloodied and passed out. You couldn’t run away and you wouldn’t survive the blast, he knew that. “You—kid, take her, and get out here. Now!”

“No fucking way!” Hughie shouted back, and Ben felt the urge to blast him instead. 

“Do what he says, take the fuckin’ girl and go!” Butcher shouted at Hughie, catching on to what Ben was trying to do. But before any of them could do anything, Homelander blasted his lasers, screaming as he overpowered the three of them while they were distracted. And just like that he was gone. 

The three men sat in silence, in defeat. They had a chance and they blew it. Ben knew it was mostly his fault, he shouldn’t have hesitated. But he refused to ever let you get hurt. In silent anger he glared at both of them and he stood and walked over to your passed out body. He clenched his jaw as he picked your limp body and carried you. He made eye contact with Butcher and Hughie and it took all of his power not to shoot both of them in the face. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your whole body ached, and your head was founding. It was unbearable. You winced in pain as you began to peel layers of clothes off your body. God it fucking hurt. You closed your eyes as you attempted to hold back tears, only snapping back into reality when you felt Ben trace his fingers over your back. He noted every bruise and every cut. He knew they would heal, sure but it still made him seethe with anger. 

“What the fuck were you thinkin’, taking on Homelander like that? Did all the fucking pills you take for your psychosis fry all of your neurons or what?” He was so angry, and he never was exactly kind with his words. You always knew that, but it still hurt when he talked to you that way, especially when you had only been trying to help him. 

Your back was turned to him, so he couldn't see the hurt frown on your face but he did notice you huff at him and move away from his touch, refusing to look at him. 

“Okay.. Hey, no. I didn’t.. I didn’t mean it like that. Fuck.” He bit his tongue, squeezing his eyes shut with regret of his choice of words. You kept your back to him as you continued to undress. He groaned. “You would have died. And it would have been on me. I couldn’t live with that, is all.” 

“Well, I was passed out so it would have been a quick death, if that's of any consolation to you.” You answered shortly as you stripped down to your underwear. You don't think he understood that you stopped caring whether you lived or died a long time ago. 

“Okay, could you not be a bitch for two seconds?” He sighed, already annoyed by your attitude. 

“No. If you want a girl who doesn't talk back to you, go find Countess. Oh, wait, you can't ‘cause she sold you to the Russians. Guess you're stuck with me.” You answered with even more spitefulness, just to tick him off a little bit more. You didn't need to read his mind to know he was beyond pissed. You weren't exactly in a colorful mood, either. Your back was still turned to him as you tossed your bloodied gear in a corner. 

He breathed in deeply, pitching the bridge of his nose, “Violet, look at me when I'm talking to you.” 

You turned around with exasperation, your eyes open wide with a ‘what’ expression as you motioned your hands around passive-aggressively. 

“I didn't mean what I said. I know you were trying to help me… And I know that you can't always control your powers. I sometimes can't deal with my own head, I can't imagine having to deal with everybody else's.” Ben wasn't one to apologize. He was actually allergic to the words I'm sorry. You knew that. But you knew he at least tried to apologize using other words. So you listened. You knew he was having a hard time, too. “But I'm not really one to talk. I think I'm the one that's fucked in the head.” 

Your lips slightly parted at his words and you looked at him with a tiny bit of sadness. You never asked him details of what happened to him. Sure, you could look, but you never wanted to dig through his mind without his permission. He'd tell you if he really wanted to. But you didn't need to know everything to understand that what he went through messed him up. And it messed him up a lot. What happened at Herogasm was proof of that. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened at Herogasm? Don't make me look through your head, I don't want to.” You sighed softly, ultimately giving in, like you always did. Your delicate fingers dragged over his vest as you absentmindedly began to take off his gear. 

Ben stayed silent for a long time. He didn't think he even knew what happened. You were down to the last layer of the top part of his suit by the time he opened his mouth. 

“I blacked out. I don't.. I don't know what the fuck happened. I was talking to the fuck twins and then nothing. Next thing I remember is the burned bodies and the place was all fucked up.” He breathed out a little unevenly, a frown knitted deep on his face. He looked down at you when you stayed silent. “I didn't mean to. You believe that, right?” 

You did. But did he? 

“Of course I believe you.” You pressed a soft kiss to his lips, hands flat on his chest. He brought one of his hands to the back of your hair, holding your head in place. After a few seconds, you hummed, parting your lips slightly. “Can I ask you a question?” 

He nodded. 

“Why didn't you kill Homelander? You had a shot. Why didn't you take it? You would have done the whole fucking world a favor.” 

Ben stared at you with confusion. Did you really not get it? Were you that clueless or was he just that bad at showing his devotion for you? Probably the latter. 

“You saw what my blast did to the house. You wouldn't have survived that. I should have, I know, Butcher won't stop fucking reminding me. But he has nothing left to lose. Can't kill two girlfriends in the same week, y'know?” 

Your mouth fell open with indignation and you shoved at his chest, but deep down you felt warm at the fact that he chose you over his mission, for once. You still pretended to be angry at him, though. “Fucking prick.” 

He brought his lips to your jaw, leaving blunt kisses and you pretend to hate it. But the smile on your face was inevitable. 

“Wanna shower now or what?” He eventually said. That was the reason you were in the bathroom after all. 

You nodded. You could use the hot water on your bruised skin. You finished stripping, Ben just watched you with a perverted grin and smacked your ass before he stripped himself. 

He got in first, turning on the water and letting it run until steam began to fill the small space. He knew you liked it boiling hot. He didn't mind. You got in and immediately went under the shower head. You moaned in relief, the hot water running down your tense muscles, alleviating the soreness on your body. Ben watched you with a surprising amount of patience as he stood behind you. He leaned down and pressed his soft lips behind your neck, licking along the skin before he moved down your neck to your shoulder. He rested his hands on your hips, squeezing the skin as lightly as he could. You had enough bruises for one day. 

“I'm gonna take care of you tonight, m’kay?” He mumbled against your skin before he made you turn around. 

He crashed his lips against yours, rough fingers gripping your jaw as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. You whined, already craving more. When he kissed you like this, you just couldn't help yourself. 

“Need you, please.” You were breathless against his lips, your blunt nails digging into his chest desperately. He gave your bottom lip a small tug as he pulled away. 

He made you stand in front of him, his back to the shower wall as he slowly sank to his knees. Your eyes followed him longingly.

“C'mere.” He pulled you towards him, his eyes were full of greed as he made eye contact with you while he directed you to rest one of your feet on his shoulder. 

His eyes stayed locked with yours as leaned forward and licked a long stripe from your hole up to your clit. He wrapped his lips around the bud and sucked. You gasped, instantly pressing your hand against the damp wall to keep yourself up. Your mouth fell open in delight as he dragged his tongue around your sensitive clit. 

“O-Oh. Shit. Shit, Ben.” You whined softly, your free hand falling to his wet hair. He held your hip with one hand, steady vice grip holding you in place as he pushed his tongue into your hole. You swore the cry you let out was heard in the entire apartment. “Oh, my God. Fuck. That feels so good.” 

Ben hummed in approval as you wrapped your fingers around his hair and held his face against you. As if he would go anywhere. He happily kept his mouth on you, head moving up and down as he worked you with his tongue, his nose brushing your clit with every movement of his head. To say that you were so close was an understatement. You could feel your leg start to give out under you the longer you felt that heat build in your stomach. Ben was more than happy to assist you with that, too. His free hand grabbed the underside of your thigh and forced you further against his mouth until your leg was dangling over his shoulder. His other hand stayed on your hip, vice grip holding you upright effortlessly. 

His tongue found your clit one more time, and the emptiness it left was replaced by two long fingers pushing into your cunt. Your eyes rolled back as your mouth fell open in a silent cry. You leaned your forehead against the tile as you dug your nails into his scalp. Fuck, you didn't remember the last time a man ate you out, let alone ate you out like this. It felt so good you wanted to cry, you didn't even remember the pain in your body, all you could feel was pleasure. 

“Feels good, doesn't it sweetheart?” He spat into your clit as he fucked you with his fingers. If the shower hadn't been running the lewd sound of his fingers dragging in and out of your wet hole would've been so loud. But he could still hear it, and fuck did he love it. He took a second to look up at you. Such a pretty little thing when you were so close. “Oh, you wanna come don't you? Mhmm, yeah, you do. C'mon, gimme what I want. I know you can do it.” 

His tongue was back on your clit, he licked harsh stripes as he slipped his thick fingers in and out of your cunt with urgency. The sounds of him licking and sucking on your clit were almost as filthy as the sounds coming out of your mouth. His fingers fucked you without mercy, there was not a single thing gentle about his touch. It was rough and relentless. Just like he was. And it had you seeing fucking white before you even realized. 

You squeezed your eyes shut, lips parting in a silent cry as you held his face against you. But it wasn't like he'd go anywhere, if anything he kept his tongue on your swollen clit and his fingers never stopped. Tears formed in your eyes as your thighs shuddered. And when he didn't stop you were pulling at the ends of his hair to pull him off you. He groaned at this. Quite unhappy to be leaving the warm place between your thighs. 

“I wasn't done.” He looked up at you with a frown. You took in a deep breath, blowing out a small laugh as you grabbed at his face, weakly attempting to pull him back up.

“You can be down there all you want later, I just..” You swallowed hard, somewhat regaining your composure as he stood up to his full height. You pulled him down by his face and kissed him, and you kissed him fucking hard. And the taste of yourself still left on his tongue made you need him even more. “Just need you, okay?” 

“Need me where?” He grabbed your jaw, fingers sprawled out over your throat as he held your face back. He stared you down, malicious eyes full of greed as he waited for your answer. And he wouldn't give you anything until you did.

“Inside me.” You muttered through gritted teeth, almost delirious as you rubbed your thighs together with anticipation. He didn't look satisfied. You breathed in deeply, the aching need between your legs unbearable. “Need your cock, inside me, right now, Ben.” 

He lifted his eyebrows up in satisfaction and gave you a simple hum before he switched positions with you, without a word pressing your front against the shower wall. 

“I fuck you once and you're already acting like a pathetic whore? Okay. But you better fucking take my cock like the good fuck doll you've always been, hm?” He kicked your legs apart with his knee, his back pressing you further into the wall as he pressed the head of his cock against your entrance. You took a deep breath. “Yeah, you're gonna take this cock like a good lil’ fuck doll.” 

You gasped when he pushed himself inside with a snap of his hips, but it quickly turned into a moan when he pushed himself to the hilt, hips rutting against your ass. You dug your nails into nothing as you closed your eyes, taking in the delicious feeling of his thick cock stretching your walls.

“What a tight fucking cunt.” He grunted, gripping your hips, not wasting any time. He barely gave you time to adjust. “So fucking wet. Just for me, huh?” 

You were nodding against the wall instantly, pushing your ass back against him as he fucked you without mercy. You felt his lips on your shoulder as he leaned over you. The lewd sound of slapping skin was drowned out by the shower running but you could hear it clear as fucking day. 

“Yes! Mhmm feels so good.” You moaned softly, mindlessly reaching behind you to touch him, any part of him. Your fingers found his beard as you ran your hand over his face desperate to feel him, then you found his hair, and you latched on for dear life as he drilled into you. 

“Yeah? Like how my cock feels in your guts? You missed it, didn't you?” He pressed the side of his face into your head, allowing himself to close his eyes and soak the feeling of your nails on his scalp, he could even feel the faintest bit of electricity shooting through your fingers. He fucking loved it. 

“Yes! God yes.” You couldn't even describe how much. 

Ben smirked at this as he wrapped his arm over your chest and his fingers found your throat. He forced your head back, making you look at him. 

“Open your mouth,” He ordered, he held his finger to your pulse as he felt the fast rate of your heartbeat. You did as he said, and with a huff he spat in your mouth. “Slut. Swallow it.” 

How he could so easily break you down to nothing and treat you like no other man could, truly was beyond your understanding. But your mind didn't have to understand it. Your body just did it. You felt a pool of wetness seep through you at the damn near animalistic groan that rumbled in his throat. 

“You're such a good fucking girl.” He spat, pressing his lips against yours in a messy filthy kiss. You could barely keep your mouth open, not with the way he was so determined to make you fall apart for him. “You're my good fucking girl.” 

“I want to come. Please I—fuck.”  Your words were broken as your whole body burned up, and it wasn't from the hot water. 

“Of course, you do. It just feels so good, doesn't it?” He squeezed your throat harder, only choked out sounds could leave your mouth as he slipped his other hand to your swollen clit and rubbed harsh circles. 

Your orgasm hit you so hard you didn't realize it until you were shaking violently, your eyes rolled back into your head as you fucked yourself on his cock. Not that he ever stopped. He moaned loudly at the feeling of your wetness seeping on him. The wet sound of his cock slapping against your cunt made him want to come, too. 

“Fuck. Fucking Christ Violet. C'mon, make me come. Fuck yourself on my cock just like that. Be a good fuck doll for me, that's it.” His hand left your throat to pull at your hair. He dug his fingers deep into your scalp as his face fell on your shoulder. With a deep grunt he held you down on him. “Fucking take it, that's it, girl. Just like that. Fuck.” 

You could feel your mixed releases slip down your thigh. You sighed deeply, allowing yourself to close your eyes in ecstasy as he pressed his lips to your jaw. You hummed softly, reaching behind you to run your fingers through your hair. 

“I never want to leave this cunt. Feels so fucking good.” He muttered against your skin. 

You laughed softly, eyes still closed, you breathed heavily, “You're gonna have to eventually.” 

“Like fuck I am.” 

Both of his hands were on your hips and he turned you around. You whimpered softly at the emptiness he left you, but it was quickly replaced by choked out gasp when he grabbed both of your thighs and effortlessly hoisted you up around his waist. Your back was pressed against the tile wall and he slipped his cock inside you without a warning.

“Ben—” 

“You wanted my cock inside you? Well you better fucking take all of it. Every fucking inch ‘til I say so. You want it, don't you?” He spat, already fucking into you like you were nothing more than a toy. He held you up by your thighs as he kept them wide open so he could take as much as he wanted. And that he did. “Of course you do, this cunt is all mine to with as I fucking want. That ain't never gonna change.” 

What a long fucking night you were going to have. But you'd take a million of this over another day without him in your life. And this? This was all you ever wanted. You didn't need anything else, just him.

[charmercharm3r]

Hihi! I really like your writings. 💕

I would like to make a request. One for ot8.

I would like to know the boys' reaction when you moan their name in your sleep. Like, you're best friends with so and so member and your sleeping over and you're having a wet dream and you moan their name out loud. What would their reaction be? What would they do? Would they say something to you or keep it to themselves? Would they make a move?

If you do this request, thank you so much! 💕

And if not, no worries and thank you nonetheless. 💕

i kept this in the vault for TOO LONG im sorry

Masterlist

☆ﾟ

chan is a slut for you. S. L. U. T. even if you don’t know it. everyone knows this man is a night owl, so to get in your channie-time, you stay up with him a couple nights a week. one of those days happens to be in his bedroom. while he’s on a roll with this melody that’s stuck in his head, he’s humming into the microphone and has his big ass headphones on, so he doesn’t see you start to drift off. but when he finally returns to the outside world, he hears you mumbling in your sleep. you look so cute wrapped up in his bed, blanket tucked under your chin and taking up the entire single pillow he has. then you do it again, more intelligible this time. is that… his name?? he doesn’t do anything to stop you or wake you up. hard as a fucking rock, excuses himself to take a cold shower and get rid of the filthy thoughts swimming in his head. little does he realize that his mic is still recording. only later the next day when he’s going over the project does he catch the small moans in the background. those get put in an extra secret, extra secure folder on his phone. just for him, his hand, and the late, late night.

minho is the most straight forward out of all of them. he warned you, he didn’t want you to fall asleep in the first place because he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep fighting off the stupid warm bubbling in his belly cus you’re so damn cute. you always thought he was being his normal teasing self whenever he’d tell you, “stop falling asleep around me, i’ll fall in love with you, i swear.” no way did he have a crush on you, too. refusing to admit it, you fall asleep in his bed one night anyways. doesn’t get hard cus he’s in shock and almost bursts into laughter at you moaning his name in your sleep. not because he thinks you’re funny, but because he can’t believe you’re actually doing it. of your own free will— well, as much free will as you have when you’re unconscious. wakes you up immediately by tapping the pillow you lay on. his face is right in front of yours with the most serious look on his face. you don’t remember the dream, but still, he won’t let you sleep until you admit what you did >:(

changbin would wake you up immediately. what the fuck do you mean, you moan his name in your sleep?! this whole time?! he’s not gentle about it, his cute aggression a lot stronger now that he knows you feel the same. it was the first time you’d fallen asleep in front of him, and this happens?! he would’ve made you stay over more often if it would’ve led to this. cus he kisses you as soon as you confess that yes, you’re incredibly into him and care for him more than a friend. things get steamy, but you’re still half asleep! it is the a.m., after all. don’t worry, he doesn’t wanna move too fast. you’re the needy one (his words), so he’ll do all the work for now. some nice, desperately in love head for the first of many mind numbing orgasms, it practically rocks you back to sleep. this time, with him cuddled up beside you.

hyunjin knew it from the beginning. he’s intuitive when it comes to other people’s feelings and emotions, is also very emotionally mature. it helps that he knows you so well. falling asleep in his bed, you can’t help the wet dreams when he’s a dream personified. light touches of his fingertips over the outline of your body from your head to your ankles, not wanting to disturb you but also not being subtle. you mumbling his name in your sleep solidifies that you want him just as bad, he can’t pass up the opportunity! brushing your hair with his fingers softly, that wakes you up but only enough to know that it’s him touching you. he’d come in close to press a kiss to your cheek and you think that it’s just a sweet gesture, until he comes in closer and closer to your lips. oops, now you’re making out— and you don’t wanna stop. he’ll stick his hand down your sleep shorts, let you use him however you’d like, but that’s as far as he’ll go until you’re more of a sound mind. would love if he could kiss you until he fell asleep, too.

jisung is another one where you think he’s kidding every time he tells you he’s in love with you. he says it to everyone! he pretends to kiss all of his friends! except he only started doing it to mask how much he liked you. a movie night with him turned into a slumber party, you on the couch and him on the floor in front of you. when you fall asleep on your belly, one hand hanging off the edge and it whacks him in the face, then he hears the slightly incoherent murmurs of you saying his name. ohhh he’s hit the jackpot now, and bricked up like no fucking other. would kiss the inside of your palm to softly wake you up, except you’re deep in this dream and need a bit more than that to come back to reality. slips a hand under the back of your shirt to feel your warm skin and he almost melts cus you say his name louder, consciously. at least, semi. would— and will— rut against the side of the couch when you lead his hand down the back of your shorts to feel how much you want him. rips the fucking fabric off you immediately and goes to town just like that. does not care whatsoever if it’s an unconventional position for a first intimate moment together, he wants you. and later intends to make it clear that he will not try to kiss his friends anymore if you say you’ll date him.

felix is so timid when it comes to romantic relationships, so his mouth is like a vault locked and sealed away when he hears you moan his name in your sleep. however, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t pitch a tent in his pants, cus holy hell is he fucking hard. he isn’t shy when it comes to anything sexual, though. you two are close! so close that he feels comfortable enough to roll onto his back and pull his dick out of his underwear and dry fist himself to the sounds of your pretty whimpers for him. does he feel guilty? a little. would he do it again? absolutely. cums hard when your hips start to twitch slightly as though you’re reaching your own peak within the dream. will he be confessing after this? maybe, maybe not. who knows if he can even look you in the eyes again.

seungmin would also wake you up as soon as you say his name even just once. he’s not sweet about it, but he doesn’t make you feel like shit. kinda teases you and goads you into annoyedly confessing that yes, you have a massive fucking crush on him and yes, you were having a wonderful wet dream until he decided to ruin it. raises his eyebrows and smirks, “a wet dream about me,” as if you didn’t already fucking know that. asshole. kisses you to make you stay and forgive him for waking you up, but won’t outwardly admit he likes you back. intends on showing you that the feelings are reciprocated by making you cum on his fingers and in his mouth, “isn’t the real thing better? should’ve been having wet dreams about me this whole time.” “i have been.” “good to know. now, think you can handle more? one for each dream you’re gonna tell me about. who knows? maybe i’ll be nice enough to make it come true.”

jeongin is more flustered than you are when he accidentally falls off the bed and wakes you during his attempt at escaping. he’s only embarrassed because he’s hard as fuck and should not be thinking about his best friend like that— even if you’re thinking the same about him. it’s wrong! it’s immoral! and that’s why it turns him on so much. when you jolt awake to see him on the floor clutching his dick, he gets red in the face and ultimately admits that he was listening to you whimper his name in your sleep. it’s you who makes the first move and invites him back to bed, making him lay beside you while reassuring him that it’s okay to feel this way. he’s not doing anything wrong when you feel exactly the same. uh oh, you’re leaning in, does he kiss you? he wants to so bad. you’re so warm and smell so good. shivers covers his body when you trail your hand towards his waistband and simultaneously guide one of his towards your aching center. who would’ve thought a routine sleep over would’ve ended in the two of you hand fucking each other until you were kissed breathless and eventually fell back asleep in one another’s arms? he definitely didn’t.

[drenched-in-sunlight]

Can I just say how in love I am with the way you draw Marika? Like every art you post of her has my jaw dropping…you add such a beautiful layer of humanity to her with her dynamic expressions and poses—it’s so refreshing to see especially when so many fan arts of her needlessly sexualize her or dial her down to a one-dimensional stone-faced villain (which a villain she is—but she is still complex)

And I adore how you draw her partial nudity as something natural, meaning that you don’t draw her without a top for the sake of objectifying her,

Your art is overall so pleasant and colourful and fun to look at, and your takes of Marika’s character in your fanart is literally what made me more interested in who she is in-game.

Thank you for drawing her the way you do! (And for drawing Elden Ring fanart in general💕)

i've been letting this ask stewing in my inbox for a while because it makes me so emotional 🥲

if you look at how i drew Marika before anything in the DLC was announced, it did fall into the two categories you were talking about, because despite having a little more positive view on her than the rest of the fandom at the time, i still had no idea who she was as a person. and by that time i were more interested in Malenia, so even though i did try to envision how Marika was, it's a very distant and vague image. which is what i love about Elden Ring lore in general: we see Marika via how her children see her.

it was easy back then to conclude we'd never get her, and "mother" is a distant term that will always be overshadowed by "God", so i just went along with the general haha evil sexy girlboss thing that the fandom was doing. but then the DLC teaser dropped the another elusive (possibly firstborn) child of her, with a statue of her holding a baby in his boss room, she started to get more little quirks that's so human in my work (the small smile, the little lock of hair that curls gently) because for the first time, we see her through the eye of a son that evidently adores her, so she gets a bit more human, because someone views her with emotions that are not fear nor distance.

then the DLC drops, and it's not just through Messmer's eye (or the entirety of his being that carry so much of her love it weighs him down and twist into the most horrible curse in the end), it's through the eyes of her family that were no longer there at all. it's the jar innard enemy that huddled in a jar and clutched at a piece of raw meat, it's the Grandmother's gentle smile as she rest among a sea of flowers, it's the solitary minor erdtree that bathed the whole place in the kindness of gold, it's the Fire Knights and soldiers that clearly viewed her as Mother as much as she was God, it's Miquella throwing away his love and doubt because he didn't know how to deal with the revelation that his mother was once a fallible human just like the rest of them, it's Trina's entreaty that Godhood was just a cage that would kill him slowly, it's the final boss music with the female voice belting "Hail, Marika the Eternal" - in the place where she had to wade through a sea of flesh and blood, her family included, to ascend to Godhood. it's finally understanding that to her, Eternity is to live for all her loved ones that have fallen down.

and somehow, it all comes back to this portrait at the base game, right at the Roundtable Hold, of a woman with permanently lowered eyes.

yeah i know after the DLC i've put on such a Messmer-style protective glasses for her, it shows very clearly in my art. now she could cry, looks sad, small smile, big smile, looks silly, looks cute, looks serious, her hair is pulled up in twenty different ways, she jokes and talks to animals and goes back to be just a simple young girl rolling around in the grass, blah blah... im drawing all these with eyes wide open. and i have no intention of stopping lol.

sometimes, things that already come alive will never go back to be a cardboard cutout anymore. if ppl don't like it, block me or whatever, in my space, i'll do that makes me happy. and im very glad that other ppl could find their own happiness and solace with my work too :) thank you for such a thoughtful and kind messages!

[wish-i-were-heather]

LADIES FIRST ⤵ GRAYSON HAWTHORNE X LYRA KANE

ABOUT: 1306 words

STORY: grayson and lyra get a little distracted on their way to a formal event

WARNINGS: uhh i mean its grayson and lyra so i guess kinda suggestive but like its fine

requested by @maybxlle <33

A/N: they're such a hot couple im gonna cry

Grayson stood in front of the mirror, adjusting his tie for what felt like the hundredth time. It didn’t really need to be fixed, he’d done it right the first time, but he had nothing better to do as he waited. The hotel room they were sharing was small; despite Grayson obviously being a Hawthorne, they hadn’t gotten a fancy room. Just a simple one with a bed, a bathroom, and a closet.

That was mostly insistence from Lyra. 

He forced his hands down to his side as his eyes focused behind him in the mirror. The bathroom door was closed, and had been closed for the past hour. “Lyra,” Grayson finally called. “How much longer are you going to take?”

“You can’t rush perfection,” her muffled voice responded through the door. 

“You’re always perfect. I don’t see why you need to put in all this effort.”

“Flattery isn’t going to hurry me, Gray,” she sang.

Grayson sighed. He turned around and walked away from the mirror and towards the door. When he checked the time on his watch, it read 5:30 PM. “It starts at six.”

“I know,” Lyra said. “It’s a five minute drive. We’re fine.”

“I have to get there early,” he told her, growing more impatient. “Avery asked if I could give a few words before it starts.”

“What? Why you?”

He laughed, a sound that very few people got to hear. “You wound me.”

“Want me to kiss you better?”

“You can’t kiss me through a closed door.”

She didn’t respond.

“Lyra,” Grayson repeated, his tone growing serious. But there was a smile on his face despite himself. “I’m about five minutes away from going in there and carrying you out.”

“Five minutes?” She echoed. “I’m going to need at least six.”

“You’re impossible.”

“And you love it.”

He didn’t argue with that. 

Instead, he stepped closer to the bathroom door and hesitated for only a second, his hand hovering over the handle of the door. But then he opened it, willing to deal with whatever complaints he got from Lyra. 

But the moment he opened the door, Grayson froze. 

Lyra was standing in front of the mirror, doing the last touches of her makeup. He didn’t really know what she was doing, what brush did what, any of that, but it didn’t matter. He could only stare at her in awe, enchantment, adoration, in love as she applied her lipstick, paying him no mind.

The dress she wore was a deep red that hugged her curves in all the right places. It had a small slit on the bottom that stopped just at the top of her leg, just before it revealed too much. 

Her hair was styled perfectly, falling down past her shoulders with such grace that he wondered if she was real. The lipstick she’d just finished applying was a matching shade of red to the dress, and the rest of her makeup only made her even more stunning. 

Grayson found himself unable to look away. 

He could only stare. No words managed to escape him. No praises, no compliments. Just the way his eyes traveled her up and down, like taking her in for the very first time.

Lyra put the lid on her lipstick and turned to him, a grin making its way onto her face when he saw him.

“Did I manage to make the Grayson Davenport Hawthorne speechless?”

Grayson blinked a few times, struggling to find his voice. Speechless he certainly was. 

“You always do, Lyra Catalina Kane.”

Her smile widened. “I am honored to have that power. Now since you forced your way in here, could you please help?” She asked, turning around so he could see the back of her dress, where the zipper was only halfway done. He nodded.

There was a moment where they stood in silence, intimately close to each other, his hand pulling the zipper.

“Zip it up, Grayson.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Once the dress was zipped up, Grayson let his fingers stay on the small of her back. They stilled there for a moment before his hand slid up to her neck. He leaned forward, pressing his chest against his back.

“You know,” he whispered in her ear. “This dress doesn’t leave much to the imagination.”

Lyra laughed, turning around to face him properly. “Is that a problem?”

“Depends on who’s looking.” His hand found her leg, slowly making its way up it.

“Don’t worry, Grayson,” she told him, leaning into his touch. “I’m not dressing up for anyone but you.”

He nodded dumbly as his hand wandered its way under the bottom of he dress. “Mhm.” 

Lyra took in a sharp breath.

“If you keep this up-”

Grayson interrupted her by pressing a kiss to her neck.

He felt her shiver underneath his touch. The kiss was slow at first, letting his mouth linger for a moment, feeling her warmth and being able to smell her sweet perfume. 

Lyra’s breath caught, her eyes fluttering shut as she leaned towards him. Her hands gripped the bottom of his suit jacket, careful not to undo the effort he’d put into his outfit. Still, she held onto him like he was the only thing keeping her steady.

Grayson’s hand paused just under the fabric of her dress, knowing they couldn’t take it too far. 

Not yet.

He placed another kiss right under her ear, his breath hot against her skin. “If I keep this up then what, sweetheart?”

She swallowed hard. “Then we might be late.”

Grayson chuckled before he leaned back just a bit, locking his eyes with hers. “And would that be such a bad thing?”

“Depends on what you have in mind instead.”

Without breaking eye contact, Grayson tilted her chin up to further face him. He then closed his eyes and closed what little space was left between them as their lips connected. 

Lyra responded eagerly, moving with equal intensity. The kiss deepened as they leaned impossibly closer to each other, as if trying to merge into one. Her hands made their way up to his shoulders, pulling him even more towards her. His hand found the back of her neck, slowly so as to not ruin her hair. 

When they finally broke apart, after what felt like a million years, they were both breathless, their faces flush. 

“We should probably get going,” Grayson said, his voice unintentionally deep. He cleared his throat. “Jameson will question us if we’re late.”

“As if he doesn’t always.”

Grayson watched as Lyra collected her things from the counter, hastily tossed it into her handbag, and pointed to her shoes on the floor. High heels that would take more time than they had to put on.

“It’s fine,” she said as she went to pick them up. “I'll put them on during the drive there. Let’s go. Can’t have you being late.”

But Grayson was there in a heartbeat, snatching the heels from the floor. Without a word, he slipped off his own shoes. 

“Gray, I love that you’re trying to be gentlemanly, but it’s just a walk downstairs-”

“Wear my shoes or I’ll carry you.”

Lyra paused for a moment, as if considering her options. With a defeated sigh, she stepped into his clearly oversized shoes. “Better?” She asked. “Now that I look like a clown?”

Grayson shook his head, smiling.

“Not a clown. A queen.”

“I can’t with you,” she said, laughing despite herself. “Okay, let’s go.”

Grayson led her out the bathroom door. He checked that they had all their belongings, and then checked his watch. 5:46. He’d have no time to practice his speech before giving it, how wonderful. 

He didn’t mind, though. It was worth it. 

For Lyra.

He opened the door with one hand, holding her shoes in the other.

“Ladies first.”

the writing above belongs to me. please do not copy, modify, repost on other sites or claim as your own. © 2024 wish-i-were-heather

TAGS: (until i figure out how to fix it they're gonna stay down here) @littlemissmentallyunstable @gretag13 @lanterns-and-daydreams @whatsamongus @alwaysthefangirl

@emelia07 @f4iry-bell @low-caloriesmonsterultra @that-daughter-of-hephaestus

@maybxlle @xoxo-vee @elysianwayy77 - lmk if you wanna be added or removed from the taglist <3

[spidrzfall]

I'm Not Her. ⤑ Peter Parker.

Hello Everyone to my very first post !! oh my gosh, im literally so nervous about uploading this, but here it is, i hope you guys enjoy it and love it! feel free to comment if you guys want a part 2, lol! Love you guys, and i hope you enjoy !!

☆° Peter Parker x Male Reader

☆°• ANGST !

°•▪︎ Fem readers DNI ♡♡

♧ warnings: None ♧

♡ NOTES: GWEN IS NOT DEAD IN THIS FIC ! HER AND PETER JUST HAD A FALL OUT AND ARENT DATING ANYMORE ♡

Part two :

Good Ending: Click me! Bad Ending: Click me!

┏ •◦இ•◦ ┓

Peter didn’t know what he was doing, it was all subconscious for him. It’s been a year since Peter and (M/N) got together, at first everything was just ideal; they hit off for a couple of weeks of going on dates, having mutual interests and mutual likings. They had a good relationship, except for when it all took a turn for the worst. It was strange for Peter to start being off out of nowhere, maybe something had happened regardless of what it was (M/N) hated it, he was patient enough, at first thinking Peter just made a slip up but for it to happen every other minute it was infuriating

“Gwen would’ve loved this place” Peter said aloud, interrupting (M/N) mid conversation on their date to a brand-new restaurant that had opened in their area. (M/N) scowled, cursing in his mind ‘here we go again’ as the man put a somewhat tired smile up trying not to cause a scene and finally call Peter out on his little comments. “Yeah, I’m sure she would've loved it here” (M/N) replied, his voice laced with tiredness and slight annoyance. This was the 3rd time in the whole day Peter was talking about his ex-girlfriend, Gwen. Nevertheless (M/N) had to make the most of tonight, he wasn’t going to let comments like those get to him and his relationship with the brunette, afterall Peter loved him, right?

The night progressed, they ate dinner together (M/N) really trying to hold down a conversation for them both to enjoy only for Peter to not get the gist and go back to talking about Gwen. “I still don’t know why you bothered to order the steak; you know Gwen would’ve ordered salmon. It looked good on the menu and immediately thought about her.” Peter pointed out as (M/N) took a bite out his steak, a smile once plastered onto his lips before frowning. “Well, It’s a good thing I’m not Gwen.” (M/N) mumbled, already tired of Peter’s jabs. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Peter blankly looked at his boyfriend, as he set his fork down on his plate seeing as the man across from him had a tired expression. – “It means I’m not Gwen and I have my own likes, Peter” the other exclaimed as he put his fork down as well his eyes meeting the same old brown doe eyes who once looked at him with love now staring at him with nothing.

“I know you’re your own person. (M/N)”

“Then why do you keep bringing her up”

“I’m not. You make it seem like I’m mentioning her every 3 seconds when all I did was make two comments the whole night.” Peter retorted as he crossed his arms, blinded by his own ego to admit his faults. “Are you serious? It’s not just about today, Pete. It’s about every other day! You always bring her up, it’s always Gwen this! Gwen that!” – “That's far from true” – “is it?” silence filled their small booth, that uncomfortable silence until a small mutter evaporated the tension.

“Gwen wouldn’t have started a fight.”

That shattered something in (M/N), “Well maybe you should’ve asked her out instead of me!” (M/N) replied, wanting to sound normal but his voice faltering as it slightly cracked in between sentences. “Well maybe I should’ve!” Peter snapped back “At least then I wouldn't have to pretend to love somebody I don't!” Shit. It all hit Peter so fast as soon as the words left his mouth, he felt ill and sick to his stomach, his regrets crawling on his skin as he saw the other man's eyes lose their spark..their shine. 

“Wait (M/N) – I didn’t mean that I swear it was just the heat of the moment. I promise I love you; I always have but these past few weeks have been stressful between work and Spider-Man” Peter tried to explain the slip up, but it was too late. (M/N) wasn’t taking it as Peter's heart shattered seeing the other’s eyes coat that pinkish color as tears escaped his eyes, Peter's own starting to form tears as well. “(M/N)...”

“Save it, Peter…I think you’ve cleared things up plenty” (M/N) whispered his voice broken as the man got up his seat and left, leaving Peter behind at the booth alone to think about what had just happened. 

┗ •◦இ•◦ ┛

[zyonsay]

Wildfire, Chapter Three MV1

Fem aligned people may read but not f3tishize my work!!

Summary: Someone snitched on you and now you are stuck in a team building camp with Max!

Reader: Male

Warnings: Nothing really? Beer is mentioned ONCE at the very end

Now playing: 'Boys will be bugs' by Cavetown

AN: Im so sorry for not updating this story! I've got a lot going on at the moment. I have lot's of upcoming exams, i've been practicing for a concert i'll have soon and i participated in a horse riding competition last weekend, so yeah, my calendar is FULL. But anyways, this part isn't as long as id' like it to be, but don't worry! You and Max will be staying at the camp for a little longer...

(Here's a little Social Media AU to go along with this chapter)

(Here is the previous chapter)

(Here is the next chapter

Somehow word of your fight made its way to Christian, which was the cause of you now sitting on a bench at a camping facility, squeezed in between mechanics and other team members of Redbull Racing.

Just a few days before, you were sitting in a leather chair in Horner’s office, not squeezed between people but suffocating in the room’s atmosphere. He wasn’t one to get angry with his people, but you and Max’s behavior was a pain in the ass and very counterproductive.

He sighed heavily, “Guys, this has to stop. You’re both adults, behave like it. I know you two are very stubborn, but it’s for the sake of our team.” He gave you both a stern look, you heard Max swallow hard beside you. “Have I made myself clear?”, he looked you right in the eye, then shifted his stare towards your Teammate. “Yes.”

The air smelt fresh and clear; the sun was high up in the sky accompanied by thousands of fluffy clouds. The ranger standing in front of you was explaining a few rules you had to follow while staying at the campsite and its surrounding national park. He looked a little bit like a bison, you thought. His curly dark brown hair had a few strikes of silver in it, making him look old and experienced.

“…lastly, please keep away from the swampy areas, they are indicated with yellow signs.”

Many of your fellow Redbull mates looked bored, no wonder, they have been listening to this man talk for about an hour.

“Does everyone know how to not get killed now?” He looked pleased as he earned a loud ‘yes’.

Christian thanked the ranger, then took his place in front of you guys. “So, fellas, we’ll assign the cabins now!”, he gave you an unreadable look. He fumbled around in the pockets of his jeans before pulling out a crumpled piece of paper. He began reading out names and telling the people to go and take their stuff from the bus and settle into their new stay. Then after a few minutes, more and more people left, and it was only you and Max sitting on the bench.

“As you two might’ve guessed, you’ll be spending a lot of time together on this trip. And I don’t want to hear any complaints.” Horner looked serious, meaning what he said. You were annoyed, of course, but you understood why he wants you two to get along. Max nodded, glancing your way, but quickly looking away as soon as you meet his gaze. “Now, head off. You’ll be staying in cabin 33, here’s the key.”

You pulled your suitcase over the gravelly path, searching for a sign with the number 33 on it. Soon enough you found what you were looking for, the two numbers were burnt into a beautiful wooden sign, decorated with various little details. You unlocked the door, holding it open for Max after entering. He threw one of his Bags on the bed on the right side of the room. “I’m taking this one.”, he stated dryly. You shrugged slightly, setting down your suitcase next to the other bed. The cabin was decorated simply but had all the necessities. Besides the two beds there was a couch with a coffee table and a small bathroom.

The room felt awkward, and you started getting annoyed with Max being unusually quiet. You turned towards your fellow firecracker. “I don’t want to start shit with you, so just stay out of my way.”, he then spoke before you could even open your mouth. “It’s hard to do that when you’re all over the place Max.” He glared at you, definitely not appreciating your words. “We should head back to Christian, come on.”, you swiftly changed the topic.

“Looks like you all settled in! Now, let’s take a look at our first activity”, Horner held up a bag of Maps, “We’ll be doing a scavenger hunt. The price is… well, your dinner. There are clues scattered throughout the Woods and they’ll lead you to an opening with a grilling space. I’ll be waiting for you there!” He then passed around the bag, there was a Map for every group in it.

“Obviously you can’t just all work together, that would be way too easy. Every group has a different route, so you can’t just follow the group in front of you.” Murmuring erupted around you, discussing what the clues might be. You looked at the first clue that was posted to the map.

“Like goliath i tower over them, making them shiver beneath my needles.”, you shifted slightly, showing Max the Map along with the clue. He then pointed towards the forest, where a Pine tree stood, taller than all of the surrounding oak trees. “Let’s go.”

You’ve been wandering around the forest for about 45 minutes, hunting down clues and discovering the national park’s beautiful landscape.

But now? Well, now you and Max were lost. All the trees looked the same, no matter what direction you walked. The map was of no use in the depth of the Woods and your phones would continuously read “No Signal”. Not being able to do anything you two just sort of strolled along bushes and trees of all kinds, hoping to end up on a trail or a familiar opening. Birds were chirping and to your surprise you heard frogs quaking. “Do you hear that?” You turned your head towards Max, still walking. “The Frogs? Yeah, really weird…” Suddenly the thicket spit you out onto an opening, revealing a forest pond, which must’ve been the source of the quaking.

And indeed, a green, slimy frog hopped into the water right in front of you, disappearing in a log beneath the water surface. “Can we stop here really quick?” Max only sighed, but then plopped down on the floor. You sat next to him, gazing over the reflective water. Would you two still find the grilling space before sundown? You hoped for it, at the very least.

“This is nice.” Max closed his eyes and rested the back of his head against the tree behind him, taking in the smell of the forest. His usually tense shoulders looked much more relaxed, and he had a pleased expression on his face. You silently agreed with him, copying his movements.

"You know, i don't actually hate you." The words that flowed from your lips felt fragile and just like glass they fell to the floor and shattered. Your advance was met with a sigh and then a warm silence. You really wanted to try and get along with Max, for the sake of your team's future. But if he was gonna be stubborn, you wouldn't gift him your friendliness.

"Nevermind."

The leaves rustled beneath your feet as you two went back to walking after resting by the pond for a while. The golden light was slowly disappearing from the trees crowns. You really weren’t prepared to sleep under the stars tonight, but luckily you wouldn’t have to. Laughter could be heard in the distance, announcing the presence of humans. Your steps quickened ever so slightly, same for your companion. You two reached the opening and were greeted with the smell of food and the chatter of your teammates.

“Maxie! Y/N! I almost thought we’d lost you two!” Chris came walking towards you, handing each of you a beer. “Come on, join us!”

[cosmos-coma]

heyy i was wondering if you could write the winter soldier x reader? im obsessed with him

i just want something fluffy with him cause im obsessed with him having a soft side for the reader😭😭

Winter soldier fluff HCS

Ahh, sorry! I know I got this SO long ago and I feel bad about this being in my inbox all the time, AND I’ve been struggling to think of a plot for this, so I hope you don’t mind some fuffy Headcannons!

Bucky Masterlist

The winter soldier Is not a man of many words, especially if he can help it.

Instead he prefers to use actions to let you know what he means; Hooking his fingers with yours and tugging you that much closer when he wants to hold you or touching the small of your back when he just wants to be close (his footsteps are always so quiet)

When you first got together he wasn’t actually all that touchy- I mean he had spent decades under other people’s control, doing everything asked of him and getting nothing in return. He doesn’t really understand the concept that that things (especially things he does) can be for his own joy.

So in the Beginning it’s mostly you initiating the touches, just little ones to start- the brushing of fingers and leaning on one another- the last thing you wanted to do was overwhelm him.

You assure him it’s okay to reach out and request you, but It still takes him a little while to get comfortable with it, but once he is he barely wants to let go.

Occasionally he will use words though, a simple “please..?” Low and rough, barely above a whisper, but you hear it loud and clear. It usually comes at the end of particularly rough days, when his own mind seem to degrade and distance himself from everyone and everything… he knows you’re the only one who can bring him back. You never waste a second falling into your place beside him.

On your bad days, he seems to know and understand your feelings in no time. His trained eyes see the furrow in your brow that you didn’t know you were holding, the clench of your jaw you hadn’t felt, or the way you set your keys down just a touch harder than normal.

I should say- he’s not adverse to talking and using his words, he’s just more often a quiet man.

He’ll tug you toward him, away from the stressful loop running in your mind, away from the world outside and pull you close against his chest. His arms fall easily around you, his hand finding your hair instantly.

“Who do I need to get rid of” he’d ask.

It never failed to made you laugh, your chuckle bubbling up from deep in your chest.

The Winter Solider didn’t understand; He was being completely serious, but it made you laugh so he just never stopped asking it. Every time you came home upset or sad he’d ask again. You’d always give a laugh, or at the very least an amused huff, and assure him no one had to die because of your shitty day.

Part of him is waiting for the day he can actually do something about it- your bad days - but for now he’s just happy he can still put a smile on your lips.

[ufoend]

∆ please help us

we can not afford any of our basic needs

i usually try to keep this as light as possible, but i have put this off for long enough that i have to post this. me and my partner desperately need help. we are just two gay people trying to make it alone here with absolutely no support system. *remaking because the first post died

who we are: im j (or jet), im 24 year old trans guy whose had this account since 2014. i married my partner in 2018, we even met on tumblr when we were younger, we've been together for years. my partner is disabled (diagnosed with autism and seizure disorder and others)

what we need: basic needs, help with vet care, dental emergency assistance and general support. our cat had an emergency surgery two years ago that means he needs to be on a prescription diet (hills urinary food) for his entire life. the vet suddenly said we need to bring him in again to get his prescription renewed and we cant order any more food for him until then, which he will not survive without, and he is not allowed to eat any alternative food without risking his life. we have less than half of a 8 lb bag of it which will not last him through the next month. with the vet, food, and ubers to get to the vet and to the only place they sell the food = 200

to try to summarize our situation, we were kicked out by family and made officially homeless for the first time last year. this is right after we moved across states (wa to az) to support my partners family upon their request, only to be subjected to abuse and kicked out directly due to homophobia in an unfamiliar state after a few months. this left both of us and all of our animals entirely homeless. we luckily have an apartment now but our situation isnt stable. we lost all of our belongings at this time, everything we had built, and have not been able to replace them as we have very fixed income. my partner is especially affected by this situation, as it was traumatizing, and they have just had to power through trauma after trauma because of poverty, more than i can say.

i also have severe and painful dental problems that are not covered by medicaid in az and i have no way to afford. this includes wisdom teeth, root canals, and many cavities that will turn into that crazy expensive treatment if i don't fix it. some may remember my post about this (+this) showing the work i need. i cant keep ignoring it, because they are worried about two of the cavities becoming root canals, and i want to prevent another infection, but thats at least 250 each i also lost a cap and need to replace it to save the tooth, but that's at least 600.

we are still not going to be able to afford rent in future months because our EBT was delayed last month and i had to spend money we don't have, and without student loan forgiveness, my partner will not have loans anymore so we are in serious jeopardy even affording rent, let alone bills. our pets (2 cats 1 small dog) also desperately need vaccinations, which is dangerous to keep going this overdue without with their health problems. our dog has also been limping for the past week and he needs to be seen when that is ever possible, at least 65 plus ubers.

any donations would go first to the vet appointment and cat food, then the other needs in order of priority. will keep updating this, i know its a lot and i really don't expect anything as i know it's well over 1000 for it all, i am begging for help with any of this.

we are both students, we are trying to work towards stability, while being stuck here. i do everything i can to bring in money to support us on my own. we make 200 less than rent is monthly. i am in school to become a caseworker so i am aware of a lot of resources in my area, and have applied for everything, but we can not do this alone which is why i have to ask for help. i am so sorry for having to do this but i appreciate any support that i do have because of this website. you guys literally save my life. helping out other poor people and getting helped out on here has been the most compassion ive ever been a part of. dollars, even pennies, worth of donations has kept my cat safe, has affected me in real ways. it actually matters to us, no matter the amount.

thank you anyone who reblogs, donates anything at all, or reaches out

*

p*ypal email (best): ptcustomcomp@yahoo.com

v*nmo: @tobler707

c*shapp: $tobler707

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

[luvfy0dor]

I Like my Boyfriend !! ♡ Fyodor Dostoevsky x GN!Reader ༉‧₊˚.

╰┈➤ Word Count; 2.9k ♡

Warnings; Cheating, angst, some Sigma x reader, abandonment, perchance ooc

Description; Your boyfriend wasn't treated the best as a member of the DOA, the sole benefit being the casino he gets, but that casino is the very place his own partner starts to feel more for his boss than him.

A/N; Im so sorry y'all I know I should be doing requests instead but I think I won't be able to work on other stuff if I don't write this out ykwim 😞

The sky casino became just as much of your home as Sigmas when you started seeing him romantically. You spent many nights there, convincing Sigma to come and lie down with you when he was over working himself or massaging his shoulders after he had to deal with a stressful conflict between visitors. Sigma had welcomed you into his home with open arms once he was convinced you wouldn't take advantage of his naivety, sharing his rather short yet tragic life story and entrusting that you would be as loyal to him as he was to you.

The heels of Sigmas shoes clicked against the floor, making a soft tapping sound as you walked through the Casino corridors, his arm hooked around yours. His long, choppy hair fell over his shoulders so beautifully, the silky strands bouncing as he walked. He seemed tired today, having a little less pep in his step then usual, if you could even call it that. Energy was a better word, the poor boy looked utterly drained this morning. These are all the things you would usually notice and tell him about later, either through means of complimenting him or gently scolding him for spending too many hours memorizing small details about the casino's customers. Today was different, though. Your mind was clouded with the thoughts of someone else, another man, specifically the one you were so excitedly making your way to visit.

Ofcourse, whenever Sigma is around, you feigned strong dislike towards Fyodor, but that couldn't be further from the truth. You enjoyed your short time spent around Fyodor, he was utterly sublime in your eyes in every single category; smarts, looks, and honestly everything else. Despite his musty-seeming aura, he actually kept himself very hygienic. He showered every morning, alluring you with the clean and fresh scent of whatever soap he used to scrub away any accumulated dirt from the day prior. The quiet and quick glances you took of each other made your heart flutter, having to bite your lip in order to hold back a flustered, shaky breath.

You didn't realize just how emotionally disloyal you were to Sigma until he started ranting about Fyodor one evening and you objected him. It's not like you said anything too jaw dropping in your opinion, instead you said something along the lines of "Don't you think you're exaggerating a bit, honey? He's not all that bad." Was that the right thing to say to your boyfriend in that moment? No, absolutely not. Would that be the right thing to say to Sigma in literally any other moment? No, absolutely not². You knew that, you knew that real good and well, yet you couldn't stop your words once they already started to pour out of your mouth like a waterfall. The look of absolute shock and betrayal that painted Sigmas face was one you wouldn't forget in a million lifetimes. You could still hear the sound of his angered, yet not aggressive questions lingering in the back of your head at all times. Anytime you peeked in Fyodors direction with a blush on your face, you heard it.

"Y/n, are you being serious? You know about everything he's done, to me, to all those innocent people!" Sigma quietly murmured to you, the room falling silent with no white noise in the background to take your attention away from his truthful words. "And you really think he's not all that bad?" He says, visibly heartbroken, especially since he had shared all this with you; he trusted you to be the first person to back him up when he participated in Fyodor discourse, you taking the opposing side was something he could almost never predict. In all honesty, he didn't think you would have the heart to.

Sigma firmly believed that if you fell in love with another man, you would atleast tell him instead of leading him along like a horse with a carrot on a stick, but he was clearly wrong. He noticed your brief glances and exchanges with Fyodor, he noticed the way you started to get more nervous around him, and not the unsettling nervousness. It was the kind of nervousness a high schooler would have when talking with their crush. The kind of nervousness you get when you quickly interact with someone you've been so actively pursuing for months now, feeling as though you're finally making progress over a mumbled "excuse me" or "I'm sorry." Sigma believed that you were making progress with redirecting your hearts focus to him rather than to his superior, but today was going to either prove him right or wrong.

"Are you alright?" Sigma asks, the speed of his walking slowing down a bit as he turns to you, his eyes fluttering from your eyes to your lips quickly. You gave him a small smile and nodded. "Ofcourse, why do you ask?" You softly ask him, twirling some of his hair around your finger.

"No particular reason. You just seem a little...dazed this morning. Did you sleep well?" You hummed in confirmation, giving his hand a small squeeze. "Ofcourse I did, I had you sleeping next to me." You smile, knowing damn well you were lying through your teeth. You still loved Sigma, but recently many nights you found yourself gazing out the window, watching the stars for a while as you question your relationship with him. The main reason you stayed was because you weren't confident that Fyodor was in love with you the way you were in love with him.

"Alright." Sigma sighs, reaching for the handle of one of two big doors that towered over you both. "Let's just get this done and over with." He mumbles, pushing the door inwards and walking into the relatively spacious office. Fyodor sits in one of the chairs near Sigmas desk, adjusting his ushanka as he gazes at you both over his shoulder. "Good morning, Fyodor." Sigma says, sitting in his personal chair. Your eyes were glued on Fyodor as your brain turned off it's comprehension function, to dazed by the beauty of his gorgeous, purple eyes. You could hear both of the men speaking, but you had no idea what either of them were saying. You listened to the Russian accent in Fyodors voice, imagining him saying the things you wanted him to. You wanted to hear him tell you how lovely and fantastic you are, you wanted him to tell you he wanted to spend every moment of the day with you, your mind even slipping into fantasies of marrying him; envisioning pretty flowers on tables and what you would say in your vows.

You snapped out of your fantasy just in time to notice Fyodor looking straight at you, continuing to talk with sigma but staring into your soul. You blushed and averted your eyes from him for the very first time since you arrived in the room, diving back deep into your silly little fantasies about an average life with Fyodor before being so rudely interrupted by a loud and echoing knock. Sigma beckoned the person inside, the person only turning out to be one of the casinos many lower-ranked staff.

"Sigma, you're needed out on the floor. I'm not quite sure for what, but one of the customers requested to speak with you." This evoked a loud sigh from Sigma, who didn't really want to leave you alone with a man you had been "all over" a couple of months ago (and still were) , but he really had no choice. In the end, however, he would sacrifice you and your loyalty if it meant he got to keep the one thing he finds true, genuine, and unwavering stability in. The familiar sound and echo of his shoes fill in the silence, the door being left wide open deliberately. The staff member follows Sigma out onto the casino floor, leaving you and Fyodor in the room together, sitting across from each other. You stared at him for a moment, and leaned back in your chair.

"I noticed your staring. Do I have something on my face?" He asks, his calm yet teasing smile made a shiver run up your spine, giddy over the entire situation. Your boyfriend has stepped away, leaving you with your dream man. Alone. You shook your head at Fyodors question.

"No, no. Sorry." You mutter an apology, blushing. He hums, watching as you twiddle your thumbs or twirl your hair, doing anything you possibly could to avoid eye contact. He softly chuckles. "You seem so nervous around me...do I make you anxious? Are you scared of me?" He asks, continuing to tease you and trying to get you to admit your attraction, to which you shake your head quickly. "Not at all, no. I just...sorry, I didn't mean to stare...zoned out." You mumble. He lets out a soft "ohhh" , nodding and leaning back in his chair, his legs crossed.

The room falls silent for a moment, the clouds slowly passing by outside hold your attention. You can so clearly feel his eyes burning holes in the back of your head, and if that had hurt you, it must have been utterly agonizing for him. You turn to look at him, your head tilting ever so slightly. Your eyes immediately lock with his, creating even more tension in the room than you had previously thought possible. "I know where your attraction lies." He says with a smirk, resting his head on his slightly balled fists. Your face felt as though it had immediately lit up in flames of embarrassment, trying to arrange your words in the most intelligible way possible.

"Ofcourse you do, you're a smart man." You say, raising one of your eyebrows and bouncing your leg a bit. "Ah, and Sigma is not?" He mutters with a large grin. You sigh a bit, shaking your head.

"I don't recall saying that." He hums, nodding. "You didn't say that, but it was kind of implied. Unless, ofcourse, Sigma knows that you're far more interested in me than you are in him." He says, rising from his chair and walking over to you. He gently grasps your face, squeezing your cheeks ever so slightly between his thumb and every other finger. His gaze flickers between your eyes and lips in the same way Sigmas had earlier that day. This time, instead of feeling nothing at all, you felt a strong, almost magnetic urge to connect your lips to his. One of your hands found itself on Fyodors chest, the other on his thin bicep.

"You're right, it did sound that way. I think he knows, but I think he's really trying to salvage the relationship." You say, subconsciously leaning into Fyodors body. You barely felt sorry, any pang of guilt that nearly hit your heart was rebounded right off because of the high speed that Fyodor had caused it to beat at. The pure excitement and thrill you felt any time he acknowledged your existence made your heart flutter, easily overriding every other emotion. You knew he could feel it too, his eyes softening compared to when he conversed with Sigma, a new gentleness to them. His thumb gently caressed your jawline as he shamelessly stared at your lips. "Hm, so you're leading him on, no?" A soft chuckle erupts from his chest, his hand moving away from your face to rest in the space between your neck and shoulder, almost pulling you in closer.

"You're right again, what a surprise." You smile, flashing your teeth in the slightest as you both mutually lean in, ready to kiss before Fyodor brings his finger up to your lips. "Hm, no, not right at this moment." He grins, pulling away and removing his hands from your neck. You can't help but frown at the lack of affection, this doesn't go unnoticed by the highly observant Fyodor.

"You can get all of that and more from Sigma, dear." He smiles, almost as if he were trying to pull a confession out of you, and boy, was it working. Both of you knew you didn't want that attention from Sigma, not anymore at least. You had seemingly gotten bored after about a year or so. Ofcourse Sigma had his qualities that kept you enthralled for some amount of time, but Fyodor really could offer you all that and a bag of chips. Fyodor was more so your type than Sigma was, and obviously Sigma was beautiful, but Fyodor was resplendent. Sigma was determined, but Fyodor was unwavering, every quality you seemingly loved about Sigma was easily one-upped by Fyodor, and yet you still stayed with Sigma.

You groan a bit. "Fyodor, I don't want the affection from him." You say, caressing his shoulders as he sits, planted in the original chair he had greeted you both from. You softly stroke the fur on Fyodors ushanka as he hums, acknowledging your statement. "Oh, I'm fully aware of that." He mutters. "Why do you think you deserve it? You're quite rude. Leading such a naive man on like that." His grin never fades as he sits cross-legged in the comfortable chair, teasing you with his words.

"You can't talk, you've done worse, and regardless, Sigma may be naive, but he's not emotionally stupid." You say, trying to convince Fyodor to hand you the love and attention that you want from him on a silver platter. He hums, seemingly thinking for a moment. "Mm...maybe later, we'll see." His Russian accent is as present as ever while he speaks.

You nod. "Alright, I guess it'll be worth the wait." You say, playfully rolling your eyes before returning to your chair next to Sigmas. It doesn't take too much longer for Sigma to re-enter the room, reclaiming his spot next to you, the spot that you wish was being occupied by Fyodor. Again, you zoned out, not really caring to listen to whatever it was that they were blabbering about. You found yourself stuck in some demented loop every time Fyodor was in your presence, always ending up almost entranced by him. Bewitched, even, and then going back to Sigma the second he left yet still having him overtake your thoughts and desires. This had to come to an end, and you knew it.

As soon as Fyodor exited the room, you would tell Sigma everything. About how you've simply fallen for Fyodor instead, not intending to break his heart but going unbothered if you did. About how you've been thinking about it for a couple of months now and it was time to end this. It just was not what your heart wanted and had it gone on any longer, it likely would have been detrimental to Sigma. Your heart simply could not beat for him anymore.

You heard them wrap their conversation up, Fyodor standing to shake Sigmas hand, which he hesitantly accepted. They said their goodbyes, and Fyodor grinned at you before he walked out of the office room. Sigma sighed and sat back down for a moment. He looked exasperated, and you knew what you're about to say was only going to make things worse.

"Sigma." You called his name softly, not wanting to disturb him just yet. You gently massage his scalp as he hums in response, leaning his head back into your hands. "I'm not in love with you anymore." You mumble. You can hear his breath hitch and his eyes widening for a moment, his whole body freezing as if someone had hit a pause button on his life. He brings his hand up and pushes yours off of his head, getting up out of his chair. "And you're one hundred percent sure of that?" He asks, his face still having a baffled expression. You nod.

"Alright. Get out." He says, pointing to the door of his office. A part of you wants to apologize, but it would be disingenuous, so you only nod as you head for the doors. Once you shut them behind you, you pick up your speed to a jog and search the hallways for Fyodor. You turn numerous corners before you spot the familiar black fabric of his cape, encouraging you to pick up your pace a little more. "Fyodor!" You call out to him, slowing down when he turns around and grins, indicating your possession of his attention. You walk up to him and start to speak after catching your breath.

"Him and I are over, we're done, I'm not leading him along anymore." You admit, staring deep into Fyodors eyes. "Oh, and how are you so sure I'm not doing the exact same thing to you that you did to him?" Fyodor asks, his hair falling towards one side as he tilts his head, looking you up and down. You roll your eyes a bit. "Are you?" You question the Russian man in front of you.

"No, but what if I was? That would certainly be a crime-fitting punishment scenario, I feel." A small smile is present on his face as he looks at you, taking in every detail of your face, noticing how truly void it was of guilt for your actions. Maybe some pity for Sigma, but nothing more. You smile at his sentence. "Hmm...I don't know, I'd probably be pretty sad." You murmur, placing one hand on his shoulder. "So it's a good thing you're not.

He grins and leans in before whispering softly against your lips. "It absolutely is, someone needs to give you that attention you crave so desperately, right?" He softly says, his grin doesn't fade as your lips connect in a kiss, his hand on your face softly caressing your cheeks. After a moment, you pull away for oxygen.

You nod a bit at his question prior to the kiss. "Yes, and I'm so glad it's gonna be you."༉‧₊˚.

[ctrnewrites]

little moments (steve harrington)

hiii :3, im getting back into the passion of writing. and honestly posting to a little moth in the corner of the internet is worth it if i can reignite a passion. here is a little piece i cooked up

summary: a collection of moments throughout the day that make steve appreciate the little moments, (doesn't really follow any form of timeline, it's just assumed that the upside down probably happened, s2-s3 era steve) (fem reader)

wc: 1,150

The sheer curtain couldn’t completely hide the light from the sun shining into the room. Two bodies stir under the soft duvet of a queen-sized bed. Steve is the one to wake first, staring down at the head of his girlfriend. A head that’s tucked into his chest, nuzzled against his warmth. His gaze was full of nothing but love and admiration. Steve placed a soft kiss on her head, his hand playing with hers that was left resting on his chest. Steve admired times like these. Soft, quiet moments that seem small in meaning but are incredibly valued. Within a short span of a few minutes, his lover awoke. Looking up at the brown-haired boy and chuckling softly. Whispering a soft “good morning lovely”.

“Mornin’ sweetness.” He whispered in return. “Sleep well?” Steve asked her, brushing a stray strand of hair out of her face.

“Always the best with you,” (Y/n) smiled, sitting up to give a peck to the corner of his mouth. “Lazy day today?”

“What day is it?” He countered, just to make sure.

“Uhm, Saturday.” She squinted at the small calendar across his room. “No work, unknown status on the goobers though.” She joked.

“Indeed. Well let’s just enjoy at least our morning together.” He smiled at her, returning the previous peck to her nose.

----------------------------------

The couple were still in their pajamas as they traversed the kitchen. Picking up leftovers from breakfast and placing dishes in the sink to be washed. As Steve placed the leftovers in the fridge, (y/n) started the task of wiping down the countertops and the table where they ate. “You always make the best pancakes ever baby.” Steve called out to her.

“It’s just a little extra cinnamon and vanilla extract. I keep telling you, yet you insist on me making them.” (Y/n) rolled her eyes and went to the kitchen sink to ring out the old rag she used. Then starting the chore of washing the dishes.

“But they aren’t the same.” He sighed, going up behind her to wrap his arms around her waist. “Yours are always special when you make them.” Steve placed a kiss on her cheek, staying in his position of being wrapped around his girlfriend.

“If you say so Stevie.” She giggled, finishing up the last dish of the minor mess they made. The other cleaned dishes on a drying rack next to the sink.

There usually weren’t many dishes to be done throughout the day. Considering Steve’s parents were typically away on some business venture, Steve has been the only one around. Keeping (Y/n) and the kids around for company. But with them, it usually wasn’t so bad.

---------------------------------------------------

“Boo, it’s raining.” (Y/n)’s voice reverberated throughout the living room. Her eyes were glued to the window that faced the street; curtains drawn to bring in whatever natural light it could. “I wanted to have a picnic.”

“We could still have a picnic, just indoors.” Steve suggested, standing next to her, looking at the downpour.

“It’s more fun when it’s outside.” She raised her brows towards her lover.

“Baby we can’t go outside, you’ll get sick.” He gave her a stern ‘are you serious?’ look.

“That’s such a myth. I go outside in the rain all the time and I’ve ended up perfectly fine.” She turned to face him. “Especially after I take a nice warm bath, it basically reverses the cold.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.” He rolled his eyes. Glancing between the girl and the torrential downpour outside.

“That is so how it works.” (Y/n) giggled at him as she toyed with the sleeves of the sweater she was wearing. It was his very own bright yellow sweater. Steve always thought the sweater looked better on her. But every time he voiced his opinion, (Y/n) fired back that yellow was definitely not her color. Regardless of how often she stole the sweater to sleep or just hang out in.

Steve knew she would get her way. They would end up going outside without the appropriate clothes for the September rain. The yellow sweater was discarded on a recliner in the living room as (Y/n) ran to the French doors leading out to the backyard in her tank and jeans. She looked Steve dead in the eye as she took a step out of the doors and onto the patio. Immediately getting drenched with the rain. Steve saw her bright smile as she spun underneath the dark sky. He decided he had no choice but to join her, stepping outside with his blue T-shirt and denim.

“You know I love you right?” He says to her over the sound of rain echoing around them.

“I am forever grateful that you do. And I love you too.” (Y/n) pulled him close, standing on her tip toes and giving him a kiss on the nose.

Steve started to sway to an imaginary song, bringing (Y/n) in to dance with him. Enjoying the feel of the rain as they danced. A sway, a spin, a lean, and finally he pulled her in closer, finally landing a normal kiss on her lips. His hands moved to her cheeks as her arms went around his neck. The rain continued around them, but it felt as if they froze in time. Out of breath, foreheads touching as they took in the moment. It was peaceful, serene, but also cold and wet.

“We should probably go inside.” She suggested, feeling a chill go down her spine.

“I told you so.” He captured her lips in a quick kiss once more. “I’ll go run us a bath. Bubbles included.”

----------------------------------------

After the bath and a new set of clean clothes, the two returned to the living room once again. The rain continued outside while they just laid on the couch, enjoying each other’s company and touch. It was moments like this that were truly cherished. No need for elaborate dates or crazy activities when all they needed was each other.

“I think I could stay like this forever Stevie.” (Y/n) sighed happily, nuzzling into his chest.

“Me too, sweetness.” Steve returned the sentiment. Playing with her hair as she laid her head on him. “I love you. So much more than you can imagine.” He said softly.

“I love you even more.” She smiled, gently closing her eyes to let sleep take over her for an afternoon nap.

He watched her lull to sleep, still holding onto her. Steve never felt stability like he did before (Y/n). It was a welcome feeling. One he would hold onto forever. It truly was moments like these where he was able to sit back and appreciate the cards that life dealt him. His thoughts slowly calmed down, finally succumbing to the same fate and falling asleep on the couch in the living room. Nothing to disturb the peace of the couple.

[sleepisaturn]

warm mugs and warm hugs

Christmas fic ⛄

PAIRING—boyfriend!bucky barnes x gn!reader

SUMMARY—as Bucky's partner you absolutely can't allow it that he spends Christmas alone.

WARNINGS—hurt/comfort, sad Bucky, a pinch of angst but this is technically a fluffy fic

A/N—I know its way past Christmas but hey IM BACK BITCHES

A knock awoke Bucky who's in bed, well more like disturbed as he wasn't actually asleep. He tried but Bucky's an insomniac; who's only effective sleeping pill is you. He groaned as he rolled off his bed, landing on the soft but rough carpet under the wooden bed frame.

" I swear to God, it's the holidays, didn't that mean I get a few days where people don't disturb— " his annoyed murmurs was silenced by the view of the person on the other side of the door. The corners of his mouth turn upwards as he saw the person through the peephole. Half your face hidden by a scarf, a box of cookies on one hand and a thermos on the other that contained hot chocolate, held by cute green mittens that he gifted you a few days prior. Pride filled his chest as he sees the green mittens being out to use.

" doll ... you're supposed to be with you're family " Bucky's raspy deep voice called and sighs as he accepts your hug, a warm feeling dancing on his stomach as the smile on his face widens when you nuzzled your head on his chest. His arms wrapping tighter around your body as he finally feels at home, the cold atmosphere of his apartment warming up with just your presence.

" and I am " your small murmured voice replied as he pulled both your bodies near the kitchen whilst still in each other's embrace.

A comfortable silence fell as the two of you untangled from each other. Your hand immediately clasping itself with his as you looked at him with lots of love but a tint of sadness as you remember the reason you were here in the first place.

He sighed seeing the look on your eyes, mistaking it for pity but he knew you were just concerned but deep down he thinks just like everybody else, you just pity him and sometimes he's scared it's the actual reason that you're dating him.

Your body immediately followed Bucky's as he turned away from you, his head turning to yours as you use your palm to gently hold the side of his face. The growing beard slightly tickling your palms as you caressed his cheeks, a sad smile forming on your face as you notice his eyes that couldn't look at yours.

" hey, I'm not mad, I'm just ... it's the holidays, it's Christmas—it's an unspoken rule that you can't be alone for Christmas, baby "

He mirrors your hand, the back of his fingers slowly caressing the side of your face. He's still cautious about touching you even with his non metal arm because just like everything in his life, he thinks he'll ruin you—hurt you and even worse break you.

You knew that, you saw a lot of times how hesitant his touches was even in the middle of very intimate moments but you're patient. You knew being with him wasn't gonna be easy but you didn't hate him for that, not even a little bit. You never got tired proving Bucky that he could never hurt you and you never will. The love you have for Bucky is unconditional.

" remind me to beat bird brain's ass tomorrow " He replies with a little laugh.

" don't even, he tried to hide it but I spot liars even from a hundred miles away.

—you told me you'd be with Sam's family for Christmas because Steve's with Sharon, again I'm not mad ... why did you lie? did you hate the idea of meeting my family that much James? "

James, he's fucked he thinks; you only ever call him James in serious situations, when your angry or worse—dissapointed.

" No! of course not doll, I-I " He immediately cups your face on his large hands, your cheeks slightly getting squished together that made him chuckle as your glare intensified.

" Sorry doll—It's just I don't want to ruin your family's Christmas incase they don't like the fact you're dating me, no parent would be calm when their child is dating the world's most dangerous assassin " He laughs as your cute face felt irresistible, even if his own words degraded his being but he couldn't control his laugh as all he could see was your cute grumpy face with furrowed brows and cheeks that were still cupped by his large hand.

" ex-assasin, James—we've talked about this and my family would be scared at first but they wouldn't hate you "

" stop calling me James, doll "

" I'm dating you, they're gonna be protective, especially my mom but that's just because I brought home a boy " You ignored his words, taking his hands off the sides of your face. You held both his hands in yours, with a tight grasp and a deep breath you look straight into his steel blue eyes.

" I love you, Bucky "

" and I love you too, you're too good for me " He said with love and sadness lacing his tone. Slightly tilting your head as you make a move to kiss Bucky. Smiling against the feeling of his soft lips with the roughness of his stubble. The two felt the warmth of each other as they explored each other's bodies a bit. You're hands wrapping around his neck while he grabs your waist with his hands.

As the two of you separated for a breather, you looked at each other's eyes full of love.

" doll, not gonna lie, I kinda want that hot chocolate now " you chuckle slightly and pecking his lips once more.

The both of your spent two hours just talking about random things while you sat on the counter and Bucky stands in-between your legs. The two of you holding warm mugs filled with hot chocolate that had little marshmallows floating on the top. Bucky could stay right here forever.

But the two of you find yourselves minutes later on the top of the rooftop of the building his unit was at, laying flat on your backs on the room's roof that was built on the top floor, so that the two of you would be closer to the stars. Your fingers pointed out one of the constellations you knew, the bright lights of the moon and stars reflecting on your eyes because that's where Bucky was looking. You eyed the stars with amazement as Bucky looks at you with eyes filled with adoration. He loves you so much sometimes he questions why you're with a guy like him.

" I suggested we go here so we could look at the stars not so you could look at me, sergeant "

" not my fault you're a much better view doll "

" god you're such a romantic and they don't believe me when I say the great Bucky Barnes actually wrote me a poem once "

" to be fair it was a shit poem "

" it was the effort I liked "

" so you do admit it was a horrible piece of literature " He said chuckling as he moves his body closer to yours, using one of his elbow to support the top half of his body. His other hand immediately holding your hand that wasn't busy feeding yourself cookies.

" I love you "

" I know "

" I love you, doll, I am so in love with you and its scares me sometimes just how much I'm in love with you " he said while chuckling at the end as a big smile was painted on his face. His smile starts to falter seeing you have no reaction and your eyes that didn't meet his.

" I love you too " you whispered almost too quietly

" good, you kinda got me there so—uh so why the sad face? ... shit, was that too sudden? " He questioned, closing his eyes as he ran both hands through his hair

" I know we've only been dating for a year and well a couple months but— "

" no, uh nothings wrong "

" okay doll, that's pleasant to here " he humors making you slightly chuckle

You reached for his hand, locking your fingers with his as your finally look directly at his eyes

" I love you all the time. Every minute of every day and sometimes you pretty much the only reason I wake up in the morning, so I guess this is it, I love you and I don't ever wanna live without you James "

Your confession made Bucky feel like he was in heaven, like all the secrets of the world was bestowed upon him by Jesus. God, you were going to be the death of him and God does it scare him that your now his biggest weakness. He'd do absolutely anything for you, he'd die for you, he'd even kill for you if you asked.

" don't ever have to worry about me disappearing doll " He said with a straight face before immediately catching your lips, both his hands cupping your face gently.

" Merry Christmas, Baby " you said as he parts away his lips from yours while still cradling your face.

" I promise, you'll never have to celebrate Christmas alone, ever "

[patrocles]

i started hotd but had to stop when criston Beat A Gay Man to Death and then just stuck around making snide comments about rhae i got so confused with the fandom shipping him with alicent did i miss something?? im sorry im not in the fandom i just Dont Understand why people like criston in any way that scene was so upsetting and homophobic

(I'm going to use this opportunity to yap a lot about Criston and Alicent, a lot of this is just things i've been mulling over, I'm not shouting down at you specifically, anon. i absolutely understand wanting to stop the show, or any show that makes you uncomfortable)

So I think a lot of nuance is being purposefully removed when people talk about Criston. And I do think the writing of s1 is to blame cus it is super spotty in a lot of places especially in regards to characterization cus it was just rapid-fire pacing. And a similar argument could also be made for how people talk about Alicent.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely not saying anyone has to like Criston (or any character) and I’m definitely not saying that Criston isn’t flawed. (In fact, the opposite— that his flaws are exactly what make him a compelling character)

I mean hell, Daemon killed his wife, treats Rhaena like shit, and groomed Rhaenyra, but no one really questions how or why people enjoy him as a character.

But Alicent and Criston DO have a complex and interesting relationship. And I think there's definitely something to be said about how people talk about them specifically compared to the other Targaryen characters. People who hate Alicent like to reduce her whole character down to her being petty and jealous of Rhaenyra for having "good sex", hypocritical, "white feminist", slept with Nyra's dad so she's a scheming bitch the whole time. Very much removing context and simplifying her down to nothing.

A similar thing can be said for how people talk about Criston. It's very easy to reduce him to just this petty incel lunatic, which feels unfair. Especially when Targaryen characters specifically are given miles of deference and nuance, despite their flaws like Aegon for example.

Going back to the writing, I think what got lost in show translation surrounding him killing Joffrey was circumstances surrounding Criston at the time— again, please don’t think I’m excusing it, I just think context matters— is how serious these characters (particularly Alicent and Criston) believe in the world that they're in. And it's not something that's truly emphasized in the writing.

It's not that Alicent is just jealous of Rhaenyra for "having a good sex life", but she truly believes that Rhaenyra is breaking laws that have existed for everyone else forever. (Having bastards is against the law, bastards inheriting IS against the law, putting a bastard on the throne would be super duper against the law). But what broke their friendship was that Rhaenyra lied about something serious, something Alicent would have protected and defended her over, and that cost her her father, the 1 person who was on her side in some small way. Subsequently, she became untrustworthy to Alicent.

And finally she snaps at Driftmark after years of being gaslit and essentially told that the rules that she's always had to abide by (bc it's the rules everyone else has to abide by) (and the rules that got her pimped out to a leper king and forced to have kids he wouldn't even care about), doesn't apply to Rhaenyra and the final straw is being told that the physical well being of her son doesn't matter as much as the hurt feelings of Rhaenyra's.

Circling back, Criston was fully expecting to die after he told Alicent what happened with Rhaenyra because because he broke his oaths and it's punishable by death— and he knows this has been enforced before. He was crumbling, mentally, believing that everything he worked for is gone only to then have his shame indirectly blackmailed/threatened by some guy he doesn't even know. And he snaps with the intent to commit suicide after. But it wasn't an attack out of homophobia, though. It would have happened regardless of who it was, it just happened to be Joffrey.

Why people like Alicent and Criston because they very much are a unit of non-Targaryens existing within the Targaryen family and will always be considered outsiders. (Criston especially is a racial minority within the world, being part Dornish, and who are not looked at favorably by the rest of the country). They've both tried to be a part of this family as best they can, been used by them. (There's definitely a case to be made, whether people like it or not, about the dubious consent surrounding Rhaenyra using her power to get Criston to sleep with her and whether or not he even had the power to refuse her. And part of what breaks him is knowing the 1 thing he had, his honor, was thrown away for something that didn't matter to Rhaenyra at all, even if she knew the consequences for him too.)

Criston is Alicent's person that's kind of just all hers, which matters a great deal to her after nearly a lifetime of never really having anyone that's on her side, exclusively, and hasn't tried to exploit her for their own personal gain. He's sworn to her and likewise, Alicent gives Criston renewed purpose in life. Even if we don't see it, we can absolutely infer that he stepped in with her children when they were being neglected by Viserys. He's probably the 1 person that Alicent has come to trust completely when it became very evident that she had no one else. In Alicent, Criston has found a sort of salvation, and there's this religious idealization of her. They're basically coworkers and kinda best friends and also kinda co-parents.

But that doesn't necessarily mean that he's her attack dog at the ready, as some people have claimed; the 1 time we to see her actually instruct him to do violence (take Luke's eye), he refuses and he goes to stop her from hurting Rhaenyra before being stopped by Daemon.

So what I mean by all this, is that I genuinely think there are a lot of complex things at work with Criston and his relationship with Alicent. That's not at all to say that you have to ship them and I understand why some people don't. I think it's a bit reductive to say that he's just this violent animal with nothing else interesting to think about.

In summary:

[stevie-petey]

hello m i hope you are well. i read chapter 7. nearly cried. tears of joy and also tears of being in the closet.

i'll say the lighthearted things first. high steve booping noses, asking for kisses, needing cold water. i want him, need him, and want to be him. as a certified public transportation girlie, the bus schedule concerns me greatly. wdym it comes every few hours?? fuck dude the mayor needs to stop taking bribes and start putting that money to city infrastructure cuz damn!!! bug squatting down at a movie theatre.......oooo you know people in that front row were mad as hell they weren't getting their premium ten cent experience.....

secondly, steve and bug.......coming off the high of the kiss omg.... the entire earnestness with which they feel for each other is so endearing. the part where steve tells her her beauty scares him and all she thinks i show much his beauty scared her......their twin flames for real....burning a candle together like no other...cut the cameras on me for real. genuinely taking a moment within all the chaos to appreciate how beautiful he is.....stuff of stars. also i loved when bug said this, "I think he’s as sweet as honey in July.” very southern mom thing to say and by southern mom i mean my dad. also these two lines: "To love someone is to know that they deserve your love." "Steve hadn’t known gentleness until he met you." Love working as a force that helps steve see his worth, help bug see her worth, and strive steve to be a better person is so much, so near and dear to me.....the solace they find in each other is amazing truly. also steve johnathan and nacy being so very uncomfortable at the news oooo your local core 4 group is undergoing a CRISIS BABE!

Okay now the big thing, which is the robin coming out scene..........omg. i liked how tender it felt how much it felt. robin picking at old wounds about bug and steve knowing it would hurt her.....terrible terrible time...... but seriously, and i am trying not to get too serious right now, as someone who is largely in the closet and will likely remain there for some time, this was really, really beautiful. robin coming out the moment she found people she was and comfortable enough to be vulnerable with was very veryyyy real, and the way that she felt she had to do it as soon as she was safe and that she wouldn't be punished for it </3. made me sob for her. bug holding her hand through it was very.....idk soft and tender, and i thought it was nice that bug got to share that part of herself too, liking nancy wheeler is very much an understandable activity, esp in s3 she looked so fucking good! just very sweet and nice for both of them, esp robin. she survived the having a crush on a girl with a bf canon event :D!! so proud of her!! picking at it like a wound was also delightful imagery, and it was such a good description of what it feels like sometimes, this thing you have to be investigating even when it feels like you shouldn't for various reasons but with you regardless.

such an excelleny chapter m, looking forward to ch 8 soooo much!!

drugged up stevie <333 also the bus schedule stressed ME out to write ,,, but its a small town with small ass roads that bus 100% comes every few hours and whew ,,,, horrendous

bug n steve were so cute in this chapter and im all giddy waiting to finally write them as a couple 🫶 theyre twin flames fr fr. and the line “to love someone is to know that they deserve your love” is a line i thought of a few years ago. ive waited so long to use her in my writing. i think it captures the trust within love and it really has stuck with me. i was so so so happy to finally have a place for the line in my writing <3333

lowkey bug is a southern darling to me. i picture her with a slight drawl im sorry but it FITS. her calling steve honey is my lil testimony to it ;)

im so incredibly happy the coming out scene was everything to you. as ive said in previous lil spiels about the chapter, i truly was nervous to write that scene with my inclusion of bug. ultimately the scene wasnt about her or steve, it was about robin and the pain of never being able to have what they do (she can. she will. we all will) but robin still finding the peace and strength within her friends to accept this. to still try :((( im deeply sorry that you feel as robin does right now. if you ever need anything, im always here my dear <3

AND NANCY X BUG WAS FOR U AND VAL TRULY ‼️‼️