#im not trying to start anything i genuinely wanna a conversation

[toastsnaffler]

SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING SO HARD WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

[disneyprincemuke]

"wanna hang out?" * ls2

it's never fun feeling like an outsider, so you'd sworn that nobody would ever feel the way you did all those years ago

pairings: logan sargeant x platonic fem!driver

notes: also nothing to do with vr, but ON GOD I'VE GOT SOMETHING PLANNED WITH THEM I- i am also making this a mini series, because i cant physically sit down and write anything too long because this ask was very long and i simply can't not break it down into parts im sorry anon i love you

| "wanna hang out?" | driver's parade | american burgers | american football | the thanksgiving incident | another williams adoptee | beating the heat | you’re embarrassing me | santa baby | the favourite driver | the situationship | it's nice to have a friend |

"mate, just go up and him and say 'hi'. it's not that hard."

"i know, but i'm scared."

"scared? he's a 22-year-old. he won't bite you."

"you don't know that!"

"he's a really nice kid. just go up to him and ask him if he wants to hang out."

"okay, but only if you come with me?"

"you're a fully grown adult! you don't need me with you to play matchmaker to get a new friend."

"please, george? i'm asking you this one favour."

"no can do. look! there he is! go!"

that's the last thing you hear before you are rudely shoved out of alex's driver's room. you press your lips together into a thin line, fists balled by your side as you hear george close the door behind you. you knew hanging out with george in alex's room without alex is stupid.

you had simply noticed the american rookie quietly following the thai driver around, not making many conversations with other drivers during the pre-season test a couple of weeks ago. while you're very well equipped with making friends and incorporating yourself with the rest of your colleagues, logan seemed to be one of the people you found quite difficult to approach.

not because he's unapproachable. simply because he is also very quiet and reserved on his own. once upon a time, when you first joined formula 1 as the only woman on the grid, you were good friends with charles. that was before you had drifted apart amidst all the outright comparisons everyone would make, and eventually, you had fallen into his shadow while he achieved greater things in the sport.

you had learned to find solace in your own company for about a year or so, only speaking to whoever spoke to you. it wasn't until things started falling into place when toto wolff had picked you to race with mercedes, following lewis hamilton's retirement in 2021 after failing to secure himself a championship.

logan, who has just finished his climb up the stairs, flashes you a friendly smile as he fiddles with his keys. "hey," he greets you, before abruptly turning to unlock the door to his driver's room.

"hi," you smile, awkwardly wiping your palms against the material of your shorts. "i haven't had the chance to properly introduce myself to you. i'm (y/n)."

he pushes his door open, craning his neck to acknowledge you. "i know. i've been a big fan since you joined the sport," he glances elsewhere before meeting your eyes again, "i'm logan?"

"right, we already know that," you sigh, shaking your head. you take a step forward, maintaining your distance from the entrance of his driver's room. you don't want to wind up overstepping your welcome. "um, well, welcome to formula 1."

he smiles at you, slightly more genuine this time. you watch as he puts his bag down by the door. "thank you."

"no problem." you bite on the inside of your cheek, turning around to open the door to alex's driver's room. you hear the door creaking behind you, and you vaguely remember that all this awkward conversation wasn't initiated for nothing.

you turn back around and try to hold the door open. your palm meets the door, logan flinching back in surprise as you tilt your head to peek up at him. "have you had your lunch yet?"

he shakes his head. "why?"

"george and i are waiting for alex to finish his meeting with james before we go and grab lunch somewhere in the paddocks," you smile. "wanna hang out?"

[vanyatas]

omg hii !! can you write a clapton smut where the reader (a girl) turns him into a pathetic whiny mess ? like overstim or violently riding him im begging you 😭 ik he seems to talk a lot when hes around ppl but i think he would be sooo obedient during intimate moments 😵‍💫

no ur so true say it with UR CHEST !!!! FUCK !!!!!!!

EDGING.

Clapton davis x Fem.Reader

tags: Whiny Clapton (😋), Blowjob/Handjob, Dom Reader (MUAHAHAHAH), Edging, Overstimulation, Begging, Cum eating.

Always let me know if i forgot anything!!

Clapton Davis was probably the most popular guy in school, Already naturally gorgeous, Laid back hipster with no fucks to give, Kind and charismatic, it’s hard not to be when it comes to him naturally, Bold and optimistic, usually just confident all around.

He knew all of this about himself but. Here he is out of breath, tears threatening to leak out of his eyes, gripping onto your forearm as you’re repeatedly swiping your thumb across his already pleading cock head. Whines and whimpers, Pleads and cries for you to just let him cum as he’s doing everything in his will not to twitch and thrash around.

He remembers how he got here, he remembers hearing the teacher praise you about how you have the highest test scores of everyone in the class. How his ears rang when Mr.Kendall said Clapton should start taking after You.

At the time he was too busy trying to make Ione laugh and trying to impress her. Lighting the beaker in front of him, just for the fire alarm to go off and soaking the entire class in water.

At first he just laughed. It was a bit silly even if he knew something stupid, Then a bright smile etched his features as their teacher placed the graded test on his soaking wet desk. A blocky A was shining directly in his eyes. “Woah an A, Thank you!!” However as soon as he spoke those words the teacher leaned down to erase it into an F.

A defeated look replaced his features. His eyes lingered over to you as you try to wring out your jacket and save your homework and papers.

Another smile fell onto his face, The bell rang and he skipped his way over to you, a slightly startled expression he was met with.

Conversing with you, his mind was stuck on one thing. This was going to be too easy.

Yet here he is, Notes and practice tests scattered across the bed and floor as he’s staring directly at you. His mouth was completely soaked from his own drool, No matter how bad he wanted to cum it felt so fucking good being edged.

You’re cooing in his ear about how good he was doing and how gorgeous he looked being this slutty mess for you, your free hand wiped his drool away placing a kiss on his mouth and on his face.

Immediately he had reciprocated but stuffed his face in your neck, gripping onto your waist and your arm. “Mmmfmf Fuck Please. I wanna cum. I wanna cum so baddddd! Please please p-please let.” interrupted by his own loud whimper hiding his face deeper into your shoulder. “Y/N. Please ffuck. Please let me cum.”

His voice was strained, his neon teal shirt was soaked in his sweat. You’ve been at this for hours. He genuinely can’t believe he’s losing his mind over someone who he initially wanted to convince to cheat off of. You were pretty, You had the nicest voice ever, You were sweeter to him than any other girl he’s met. Easily he was slipped into this sort of submission after he kissed you. Felt your hands gently pawing at his chest and arms. Which lead you to your current situation.

“Clapton you’re doing so well for me.” You purred into his ear. Another swipe at his tip and he gasped grabbing at you tighter, if he even could. “You’ve held out for so long I think I can spare a bit of mercy.” you teased which made him feel even more light headed if he even could.

He felt you remove your hand off of his dick and he whined softly at the loss of contact. You gave him a small kiss on his nose and whispered. “Lay on your back.” he was at the start but he has found himself on his side trying to buck his hips into your hand.

Doing as he was told he felt his face get hot. He was still hard. It didn’t help to see you moving between his thighs which made him whine at just the sight. His body shivered as you started to place kisses against his length. One of his hand moved to hold your head very softly, just petting your hair and moving it out of your face. You were very pretty and he couldn’t help but bend to anything and everything you did.

Your hot mouth had encased itself around him and he let out a loud yelp. Your tongue softly flicked and moved around his weeping tip. “PleasePleasePlease Fuck.” he cried covering his eyes with his arm as his grip on your hair tightened. Tears spilled from his eyes, This feeling was too much but he didn’t want it to stop.

Your head bobbed lower taking in a majority of him in, with every move of your own he let out loud moans and pants, he doesn’t know how much more he could take.

You could tell, the way his hips bucked into your mouth out of instinct and his dick twitching and leaking unholy amounts of precum against your taste buds wasn’t unnoticed. You pulled your mouth off of him for just a second, soft kitten licks against him. “You can cum anytime you want gorgeous.” you whispered loud enough for him to hear, your mouth instantly wrapped back around him.

Clapton wasted no time, Gripping your head with both of his hands his eyes shakily stared at you as his bottom lip quivered, “Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Oh my god!” he basically shouted out as he finally was able to finish. he threw his head back and let out a soft whimper almost filling your mouth too much.

Wiping away your drool you swallowed before pushing yourself up to lay right next to him. He was still breathless. you wrapped your arms around him which he, without a second of doubt shoved his face between your chest and curled into you.

This made you giggle softly, stroking the back of his hair you kissed him all over his head which he leaned back to let you kiss his face, placing a million everywhere he just smiled at you lazily obviously exhausted from the relentless teasing you gave him.

“Can we study tomorrow? I’m so tired dude.”

Another giggle.

“Of course Clapton.”

————————

i need him so fucking bad chat i want him to skate across my mouth with HIS.

[princessbrunette]

JJ who is thirsting and horny after the pretty daughter of the Kook family he works for but gets cornered and roughed up by Rafe andhis croonies bc it's Rafe who 'deserves you since you're basically of the same breed, not a dirty Pogue like him', plus you're too good for someone like JJ who only wants you for pussy and money while Rafe is a born protector, all aggressive and territorial, so he's obviously the better choice for you.

I think the boys would genuinely start tweaking if you ever pranced around in that pretty pink frily bikini of yours in your garden amd send them a wave and sweet smile :/

ohhhhh my god. oh my god im obsessed . “while rafe is a born protector, all aggressive and territorial” what if i nutted

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆

rafe literally wanting to explode when jj shows up as a waiter at midsummers and you all but squeal and run over to him and throw your arms around his neck so excited to see him !! and rafe tugs you away by the arm, gritting his teeth like “you’re here with me, remember?” giving your arm a threatening squeeze but like technically your parents set that up n you can hug who u want !! 🙄

jayj getting kinda spooked when you hug him like that in public because he’s so conscious about your family seeing, he doesn’t wanna get in trouble bc he really needs his job! so he kinda just gives your waist a little squeeze like “uh—hey there, sweetheart, oop, watch the hands— kinda on the clock here but uh, you havin’ fun?” conversing w you before you get yanked away by rafe … 🙄

rafe and his friends roughing him up in the bathroom whilst rafe lectures him :(( “talk t’me, pogue —what is it you really want, nah nah, it’s all good. we’re all guys here.” getting in his face. “is it money? know you don’t have much of that. hey, if i had my wallet, id definitely donate a lil’ something to your cause but uh, this is a new suit.” he pats himself down.

“think i’ll have to pass on that.” jj strains, struggling in kelces headlock.

“what is it then… is it pussy? you…” he huffs out a laugh. “you think she’s gonna give it up for a dirtbag like you? dirtyin’ up that pretty pink bed of hers?” jj doesn’t say anything, continuing to try and fight his way out and rafe just laughs. “knew it, s’always pussy man. you just wanna get right up in there, don’t you maybank. spread those legs and go to town, probably never had anything like that huh? just busted dirty pogue pussy. listen man i— i almost feel sorry for you... it’s so not happening.”

and then jj spits in his face which makes rafe laugh again, pulling back and wiping his face with an amused “oh?”

ofc you walk in at the worst time, brows all furrowed playing with the material of your dress. “what’s going on?” looking between the boys. rafe of course swoops in, joining you at your side with a hand at your lower back.

“i dunno! came in here n’your friend started tweakin’ out, swinging on me. you probably shouldn’t talk to him anymore, babe.”

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆

[sanspuppet]

Oh my god, if you could please do line 7 and 13 for Hongjoong with shibari I’ll literally love you forever 🥹💕

(Please of course only do it if you’re comfortable! If you’re not, then just whatever your creative side comes up with will be great. I’ll gobble it up regardless 😙)

Thank you for all you do and your amazing work! 💕💕

7_ “God, you look amazing like this”

13_ “Since when do friends do things like this?”

W/T: friends to lovers, jealous Hongjoong, shibari, unprotected sex

• HII here you go babe, i hope you like it :3 although it’s my first time writing about shibari, i really enjoyed writing it!

- not proofread cuz im about to pass out from tiredness :/

Finally it’s Hongjoong’s birthday, and though he hasn’t planned a big party, he invited you at his place, wanting to spend more time with you: the girl who’s secretly obsessed with. Hongjoong just finds anything you do attractive and caring, he can’t stop thinking of you and how cute you always appear. This surely involves that he’s genuinely jealous of you, and seeing you with another guy immediately ruins his mood for the entire day.

You greet him, giving him a tight hug when you enter his apartment. Hongjoong shyly smiles back, taking the present you gave him in his hands and placing it on the table. Even though you are classmates, you don’t talk often but you still think he’s a nice guy. After a good hour of random conversations between you two, Hongjoong heads finally towards the kitchen to take his birthday cake. It’s when he turns back with it, ready to blow the candles, that you receive a text. You can’t help but check your phone when you notice that it’s Mingi who’s searching for you: he asked you out, and go with him to watch the new film that has been released at the cinema.

“Oh my god” you murmur, bringing your hand over your mouth. Despite your excitement, Hongjoong’s smile printed on his face quickly disappears as he notices you’re not giving attention to him anymore.

“What” he huffs, looking at your phone as he could know what got your attention.

You stutter, unsure if you should accept Mingi’s proposal or just stay there with Hongjoong, despite you’d feel guilty… the new film seems too good, without counting Mingi’s presence that always makes your legs dizzy when you’re in front of him.

“Uhm… Joong, i think i should go now… i forgot that i have to meet with Mingi later…” you mewl shyly, something in his stare scared you.

“You’re not going anywhere, i want you to stay here with me” He affirms, his cold eyes locked on yours.

“But- but i seriously need to go Hongjoong” you’re about to stand up, when he positions himself in front of you, his tight grip on your wrist making it almost hurt.

“I said, you’re not leaving.” he continues, his face a few inches away from yours, shivers of fear running down your spine from his intimidating stare.

“You can’t do anything to keep me here!” you bicker “not even if you’d tie me up” your body is immobilized as you see a smirk diving onto his mouth. He chuckles cockily.

“Wanna try? We’ll se if you can escape.”

Even though you didn’t exactly figured out the idea, your pride suddenly speak for themselves: “Oh yeah? Wanna bet?” your reply got once again Hongjoong giggling.

“Actually, i do wanna” He smirks, his hands quickly moving on your waist, grabbing it harshly as he pushes you towards his bedroom. “Gonna tie you all up, so you’re not gonna see that fuck boy” Hongjoong throws you onto his bed, giving you a cold stare as he wants to make sure you’re not going to move. Your mouth hangs open when you see him taking a long pair of strings from his wardrobe, making you gulp as he approaches you while starting to knot them.

“Strip.” he stares down at you, enjoying the view of having your pretty face right in front of his hardening member. Your breath stops as you hear him, asking to yourself if you just misheard.

“I said fucking strip, you better do.”

You raise an eyebrow, arms crossed as you stare up at him. But as soon as he wraps his hand around your throat, raising your chin to force you to look right at his hooded eyes, you start unzipping your jeans.

“Good girl. Keep acting well and the knots will might not hurt.” he starts to tie your body with the strings, the knots positioned accurately to accentuate your curves. Once he helps you hiking up your top, Hongjoong can’t take his eyes off of your tits, perfectly sized, he can’t help but give them the proper attention by using the strings to help them pop out of your chest. He does a few steps backwards, admiring your body like it was a piece of art, his piece of art.

“God, you look amazing like this.” he approaches you again, pushing you onto the mattress, making you arch your back as your arms are tied behind it. “All naked and ready to be fucked.” Hongjoong chuckles in the crook of your neck, his hand squeezing your breast. He gets closer to your ear, whispering: “Tell me baby, can you still escape from me?” he pulls back, his thighs on either your sides, smirking at you while teasing you by pulling the strings. “Fuck- no, no…” you murmur, breathing heavily.

“I could manhandle you right now and bury my hard cock inside you, you couldn’t do anything about it, could you?” he provokes you.

“No…” you look at him through your eyelashes, a strange tension inside your stomach gets you the urge for him to touch you. “Please, do it Joong.”

“Oh? Since when do friends do things like this?” He genuinely seems enjoying himself on top of you, while you’re desperately begging for him.

“Gosh, fuck it. I want you now…” you whine, arching more intensely your back from desperation.

“Don’t you tryna ask me to stop, later then.” Hongjoong doesn’t wait any longer before removing his clothes off of his body till you can see his hard dick standing straight on top of you.

“Be a good girl and take it, i know you can” he unties the knot that keeps your legs together, spreading them right after to make room for himself. He gives you a smirk before pushing decisively his length into your soaking, needy cunt. He releases a pleased sigh, smiling with eyes closed, tongue sticking out as he feels your walls clenching around him.

“Fuck! So deep- oh god” you moan, hiccuping because of the overwhelming pleasure his cocks is making you feel. Your eyes roll in the back of your skull as he helplessly starts to fuck you dumb, his cockhead pressing against your g-spot perfectly at every thrust, giving them a blissing effect. The bedroom is filled with your moans and his grunts, mixed with the icky and squelching sounds your pumped pussy is making. His girth is slamming against your thigh gap, stuffing your hole like it was his only life purpose.

“Fuck, you’re just as perfect as i always dreamed- taking my dick so well, you like it, don’t you?” Hongjoong holds tightly at the string that crosses over your stomach, while the effort he puts into his fast movements are driving your mind blurry. You barely can elaborate any coherent thought, body and mind full with his cock, and you’d surely not even complain about that, fuck if it felt amazing.

“Yes-! i l-love it” you moan back, your muscles tensing as you feel your orgasm approaching your stomach.

“Gonna cum, don’t you? fuck i’m close too.” Hongjoong groans, his thrusts becoming faster but also sloppier. He squeezes his eyes and bites his lips, still can’t believe that he’s finally fucking the girl of his dreams.

“Fuck yeah! Keep going!” you yell out from pleasure, buring your back into the mattress, the fact that you can’t move is torturing you yet you think it’s so damn hot. You both are a moaning mess once you reach your high, when you feel wet ropes shooting inside your body you bite your lower lip, loving the idea of being stuffed full of his cum.

Hongjoong’s body falls on yours after the exhausting stimulation, his face resting on your soft breast, inhaling deeply the air as he tries to catch his breath again. He cards his fingers through your sweaty hair once he looks up at you again, you try to smile with all the energy that’s remaining in your body.

“Hongjoong, i’ll never try to leave you again, i promise”

[quodekash]

FUUUUUUUUUUUCKing hell theyre gonna kiss today????

hes so grumpy already I love this so much

the silent conversations chain and toey are having with their eyes oml I cant

pls this is so funny

theyre both deeply in love with someone else so it's jsut so unnatural to them

BUT ALSO id like to mention that the first thing chain did when he had to pretend to be hitting on toey was put his arm around his shoulders and rest his hand there. which is what he's literally ALWAYS doing with pun, no matter when it is, he's always standing next to pun with his hand resting on one of his shoulders

its like he associates his time with pun as being in a romantic relationship 👀

THESE FUCKIN BASTARDS 😭

JUST KISS IM BEGGING YOU

theyre lost in their own little world 🥺

kiIIIIIS

this is too funny, the cuts from "chain. chain what happened next." to ✨soulful dramatic guitar music✨

im sad they didnt actually kiss but also im not surprised

LOOK AT THEM, DUDE

THEYRE SO NATURAL WITH EACH OTHER

I FUCKIN LOVE FRIENDS TO LOVERS SO SO MUCH

half convinced theyre already dating, they just cant be bothered saying anything so theyre waiting for others to ask them about it

PUN IS SO CUTE DUDE I ADORE HIM HES FUCKING ADORABLE

I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH THEYRE SOIMPORTANT TO ME

if I ever have a romantic partner, this is what I want

I cant explain it, I just wanna run up to them with pure joy and excitement, and for them to hold me back by just pushing against my skull

it just seems perfect, idk why

GB4JHERGB

THE FRIENDSHIP OF ALL TIME

genuinely think I might be more invested in their friendship than all the romantic relationships in this show

im fucking CRYING

my king matt, this was so unnecessary and I love everything about it

why does it suit him so well tho

they should kiss again I think

I feel everything about this image on a spiritual level

THIS ENTIRE AMUSEMENT PARK SEQUENCE BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY AND DOPAMINE IM IN LOVE WITH THSI EPUSODE

NEW COMFORT EPISODE UNLOCKED

look its really funny but I do feel bad cos this day is not even a little bit fun for him

like q is having a complete shit time

poor chain doesn't love amusement parks but he has to go on the rides with toey to keep up the facade cos toey loves these rides 😭

and its even worse realising Q also seems to love amusement parks, so he would be having a fucking amazing time if he could just go on all the rides next to Q cos they both love it so much 😭😭

fuckin FINALLY

LMAO WHAT

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I JUST SCREECHED WITH LAUGHTER SO LOUD AND ITS MIDNIGHT

THE PURE COMICAL SHOCK AS HE REALISDE WHAT HE SAID, THE EXCITEMENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE AS THEYR EALISE WHAT HE SAID

I mean to be fair it was REALLY obvious

im surprised no one noticed earlier but also its a bl so im not at all surprised to find out theyre all fuckin dumbasses

SERIOUSLY THO TANFANG IS WHAT I WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP HOLY SHIT

a lot of the time watching bls ill be like "I want that" but its usually as a joke

but THIS?? the fucking adhd bastard (me) who just wants to be near their partner and compliment and always stimming and just having a swell fucking time while the other one loves them but is mildly tired but also in adoration? FUCKIN GIMME

also how the fuck has Q not realised, theyre all so fucking obvious

also also I cant explain it it just feels deeply as though pun and chain are for real dating they just havent told anyone yet

ill make a post about it all at some point maybe (I definitely wont)

PHYSICAL TOUCH IS HIS LOVE LANGUAGE 😭😭😭

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HE DOESNT HAVE TO HOLD HIM SECRETLY ANYMORE THEY CAN JUST WALK HAND IN ARM NATURALLY NOW

hear me out tho, this gets even funnier if he's actually already in a committed relationship that no one knows about yet

I dont think it's secret dating, it's just 'not super obvious dating to try and see JUST how oblivious all our friends are. its been three years at this point and still no one's said anything. we're starting to lose all hope.'

I love tan so much, the little wave

what the FUCK

what the FUCK FUCK???

THE SOUNDWIN LINE????

HERE IT IS ITS FUCKIN COMIN GUYS

HE SAID IT

HE FUCKIN SAID IT

[insert that gif of the crowd of people in the bar going insane]

holy fucking shit dude holy fucking shit

my legs are literally shaking idk if I can do this

FUCK TO THE YES, FUCKING EXPLICIT ASK FOR CONSENT HOLY FUCKING SHIT

WHAT THE FUCK

AND THE FUCKING SONG IN THE BACKGROUND !!!!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE

im gonna be here all day

I dont even need to watch the rest of the episode now

I can just go to bed if I want and watch the rest later or smth

dude I cant wait for q to realise that toey is milk frappe guy

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT JUST PROCESSED IN MY MIND THAT THEY KISSED

WHAT THE FUCK

omg making out in a haunted house, what a dream

the workers watching on the security cameras probably had a blast that day

how funny would it be if there'd been a scare actor in the shadows in that room with them and they'd been about to scare them but they were too shocked with that tender kiss to remember they have a job

he needs to lie on his bed and just stare at his roof and think about that for a while

tbh same

look at him 🥺 he's so lost in that memory

thEY FUCKIN MADE OUT HOLY FUCK

welp on that note I think im done for now

I might finish the ep with my silly thoughts+screenshots later but for now tis the time for sleep

[liverspaghett]

FRAGMENTS OF OURSELVES

♭form! jooyeon x fem reader

Genre: smut, fantasy

Warnings: oral (fem rec), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), rope play (but the ropes are electricity?), not proofread

Tags!: @sol3chu

w/c: roughly 4400

WARNING: NO ONE HAS BEEN TO ♭FORM ONLY ONCE

Lobby music plays as I wait to load into the game. The server is bustling with life and I’m exactly where I was when I last got on. I travel along the road where I live here. I’m on my way to the city square. From what I remember, I was getting food from the market. The twilight evening is foggy, but the roads are lit by streetlights. It’s bright enough to navigate. Today, I won’t visit my usual market. I’m in need of something new and exciting.

Upon entering the new shop, I spotted the cashier. He sports a wide and bright smile. I take a basket from the entrance and start looking around. There’s a plethora of potion supplies, it must be a wizard shop. I take a bundle of dried roses, a jar of cinnamon sticks, and several other ingredients that look pretty. I don’t know the first thing about potion making, but I can use these things for cooking. The small wooden shop is very aromatic and welcoming.

“Can I help you with anything?” A voice brings me back to Earth. It belongs to the cashier boy. His voice suits his smile nicely.

“I’m alright, thank you!” I can’t help but smile at him, his positivity is contagious. I take my time and pick out a few other things, including a cute little candle. It’s very simple, just white wax inside of a ceramic bowl. I add it to my basket and decide that’s enough shopping.

I wait in line behind a few people who are also checking out. The cashier is kind with all of them. He’s a real social butterfly, at least online. I wonder if he’s much different in real life. I’ve learned that a lot of people are completely different in real life than here in ♭form. It’s an escape, so I’d say that people are closer to themselves here than in real life.

Finally, I’m at the front of the line and he flashes me that enticing smile. I placed all of the items I'd chosen on the table. He looks fine until I place the candle and his face drains of color completely and his smile is nowhere to be seen. He looks at me, trying to hide his worry.

“You know this is the most powerful one we have, right? Nobody knows what it does, it was made centuries ago.”

“Oh no, I thought it was a regular candle!” I was genuinely shocked. We agreed that it was best if I put the candle back. He now calculates the price of everything excluding the candle.

“That’ll be forty dollars.” It’s a bit expensive for ♭form’s currency.

“However,” he starts. “I’ll cut that price in half if I can get your number, your real number.” He catches me completely off-guard at his request. Not once in all of my years in ♭form have I been asked this. Of course I have to give it to him, not only because of the discount (which is irresistible) but because he seems like a pleasant guy.

Shortly after, I get a notification. It’s a text from the guy.

Joo: hi! You probably know me by my user, joo_lvs_veggies. You can call me Jooyeon. p.s: I hate veggies

y/n: hi jooyeon, im y/n!! And you hate veggies!?!?

That starts our first conversation. It lasts until the night swallows everything around me but him and the next topic that comes up.

y/n: do you really not know anything about that candle in ♭form?

Joo: All I know is that it was the first server to generate with one. It’s rumored the devs didn’t put it there either.

y/n: Then why is it still being sold?

Joo: I just wanna see if someones brave enough to light it.

y/n: I want to

Before I know it, we’re logged back into ♭form and in the back room of his store. The candle is sitting before us and with one last look at each other, I light the candle. Despite all of my anticipation, nothing happens. I don’t know if this is good, but I'm honestly disappointed. I was kind of hoping something would happen.

“That was very anticlimactic!” Jooyeon laughs and I do too. I yawn in the dark room, lit by candlelight alone and he catches on. “Tired?” he asks. I nod. After a couple of farewells, I’m logged off and curled up into my bed. The night envelops me and I fall asleep.

Months pass after meeting Jooyeon. We talk a lot, including the things we do in reality. He’s a struggling college student similarly to me. He works three jobs, which is insane. One specific night, we spent hours talking about how weird it is that one of his three jobs bought candles. I jokingly reference the night when we lit that candle.

Joo: but who would actually buy candles at a grocery store

y/n: me! Candles are the best!

Joo:Other than you

y/n: i guess you have a point lol

I stayed up too late the night before studying and talking to Jooyeon. My head is pounding and the little bit of sunlight that manages to get past my curtains hurts my eyes. To my disappointment, the fridge is empty. I sigh when I find nothing. I guess I'll stop by the grocery store. I put on my shoes and step outside. It isn’t the brightest day, it’s actually pretty gloomy. Dark clouds hang overhead and it's foggy. I walk down the street, hearing my own footsteps clack against the stone road.

When I arrive at the store, my shoulders drop in disappointment. They’re closed today. The next closest store isn’t too much further away, so I just walk to it. I’ve only been to this store a time or two since I moved here, so everything is quite unfamiliar. I go in and I’m greeted by the cashier. The store isn’t very large and mostly contains ingredients to cook with. Ironically, I see a small stand with candles. I detour over to it, they're simple and white with a linen scent. I laugh, remembering the conversation with Jooyeon. In fact, the candles kind of resemble the ones in ♭form. Just for keepsakes, I take one. I grab what I usually use most and head to the register to check out. The boy greets me with a bright smile.

“Find everything ok?” His voice sounds familiar, but I can’t think of anyone I know around here who it might be. I nod and get out my phone while he scans all of the items. I realized Jooyeon messaged me earlier, so I replied to him. After the cashier is done scanning my things, his phone buzzes. He takes a quick look at it and smiles.

“Girlfriend?” I ask him.

“I wish,” he says. I laugh and take my things. On my way out, my phone buzzes again, stopping me in my tracks.

Joo: Can you believe someone actually bought one of the candles? She was kinda cute ngl

I turn around, my face is shocked and beet red. I walk back up to the cashier. It’ll be so embarrassing if I’m not thinking correctly.

“What’s your name?” I ask him.

“Jooyeon,” he says. I’m taken aback completely. There’s no way this just happened.

“No way,” I stand there in silence, staring at my friend.

“You ok?” he asks. For a moment I stand there in disbelief.

“I’m y/n” I finally manage to say. As soon as the words leave my mouth, Jooyeon’s actions mirror mine. We both stand there in a shocked silence before Jooyeon speaks.

“Of course you bought the candle!” We break out in laughter. And I sat the candle on the table.

“It resembles the one on ♭form! How could I pass?” He smiles and a light blush covers his cheeks. I can’t help but be attracted. He’s a lot better looking than I’d expected. I can’t believe we never thought to ask what each other looks like.

“Hey uh,” he shyly asks, scratching the back of his neck. I look back up to him.

“What?” I ask.

“Would you like to come over to my place maybe?” His voice is quiet and nervous. I feel my face heating up by the nanosecond.

“I’d love to, Joo!” immediately his face lights up with excitement. The redness spreads to his ears when he hears me call him by his nickname that he’d acquired over the past couple months.

“My shift is over at three, text me your address and I’ll come pick you up,” his smile is brighter than anything i’d ever seen. He seems rather excited, which is great, because so am I.

Back at home, I put away my groceries and start to put some things in a bag to take over to Jooyeon’s house. I call my friend, Jungsu to tell. I tell Jungsu everything. I excitedly read all of the messages to Jungsu when I realize something. First, I asked if he was texting his girlfriend, he replied saying he wished. Second, he texted me before he knew it was me that he was calling me cute.

“Jooyeon thinks i’m cute!” I shout after a long pause.

“Wait,” Jungsu says, “you said his name is Jooyeon?” I see his mouth hanging wide open over the video call. I nod and give him a look.

“Like, Lee Jooyeon-” he looks shocked. I nod again.

“We go to school together!” I gasp in shock.

“Do you both live in the dorms?” I ask excitedly. He nods.

“I’ll get to see you!” I squeal.

“Bring your laptop, we’ve got to get on ♭form together!” Jungsu says and I hear a car pull into my driveway.

“Be there in a minute!” I hang up on Jungsu, forgetting to say goodbye and grab my things. Jungsu is used to it by now, and sometimes he even does it back to me.I excitedly greet Jooyeon as I step outside. He lets me in the car and we’re off to the dorms. I know where we’re going because I sometimes come to visit Jungsu. Jooyeon’s car is pretty nice, it’s clean, rather roomy, and smells like fresh carpet. He glances over to me a few times before we’re finally in the parking garage. The drive was short, it only took about ten minutes to get here from my house. He guides me to the entrance and down the halls. We go up a few flights of dark red carpeted stairs until we’re on the 4th floor. It’s the same floor Jungsu lives on. Are they closer than I'd thought?

Finally we make it to his door, and surprisingly, Jungsu lives directly across the narrow hallway. Before I start that mess though, I get settled. Jooyeon takes my bag and puts it up for me, and then we both sit on the couch.

“Joo,”

“Yeah?”

“Do you happen to know Jungsu?”

“Like, Kim Jungsu?”

“Yeah”

“Of course, he loves right across from me, we’re pretty good friends”

“Really!?”

“Yeah, why?”

“We've been friends forever!”

Next thing I know, we’re both standing in front of Jungsu’s door, banging on it repeatedly. After a terribly long time of him not answering,.someone comes upstairs. They'll likely complain about us making so much noise.

“Guys?!” Jungsu sets down his laundry basket and gives us both a hug before opening his door.

“Come on in!” After opening the door, he picks the basket back up and follows us in. It’s been a while since I've visited Jungsu. His house is only slightly different than I remember, but it has the same welcoming feeling. The couch is soft as it engulfs my body. Jooyeon sits beside me. I don’t know why it gives me butterflies when he leans back and throws his arm over the back of the couch, he’s on the complete opposite side of the couch and not even close to me.

“So,” Jooyeon starts. Jungsu is back from putting his laundry away. We’re both listening to Jooyeon. “are y’all like dating?” Me and Jungsu smile at each other, on the verge of laughing.

“No, you don’t have to see me as competition Jooyeon,” Jungsu teases him. Jooyeon rolls his eyes at him.

“You two wanna go get your laptops?” Jungsu asks. I get up excitedly.

“Wait, why?” Jooyeon is confused, he doesn't know Jungsu and I planned this to some extent. Despite not being told about the plan, he’s not against it. We go back to Jooyeon’s dorm and come back within minutes, laptops in hand.Jungsu smiles and leads us to his room. I sit on the couch with Jooyeon and Jungsu sits on the bed.

The room is cold, and it must have been apparent because Jooyeon takes off the flannel he was wearing over his t-shirt and covers my arms with it. I put it on without hesitation and he gives me a warm smile. We’re all ready to login, but it’s taking longer to load than usual. After five minutes of waiting, we leave the laptops on and migrate back to the living room.

“Well, what now guys?” Jungsu says. I perk up, remembering the candle I bought. Without warning I run back to Jooyeon’s dorm and come back with it in hand. The two guys look at me with an odd face.

“Look, doesn’t look like the candle in ♭form?” I say excitedly. Jooyeon smiles at me softly. Jungsu is inspecting it.

“What candle are you talking about?”

“There’s a candle that generated in the server in my shop. No one knows where it came from. Jungsu hums in acknowledgement.

“You work tomorrow, right?” Jooyeon drapes himself on the pale blue couch again. Jungsu replies from the fridge, which is only a few feet away. He grabs a few glass bottles of soda and brings them back to the living room.

“Yeah, I have to go to bed early tonight.” Jungsu hands each of us a bottle and sits in the chair across from Jooyeon. All of Jungsu’s furniture matches well and is super cute and stylish. I sit on the couch with Jooyeon and take out my phone. No way it’s already six in the evening- I really did sleep in all day. Jooyeon takes the remote off the coffee table. I guess they’re pretty close because Jungsu doesn’t seem phased, at least not until he turns on Up.

“Jooyeon, no, we can’t watch this again!” our friend protests. I suppose they hang out quite a bit.

“Why not, it’s my favorite movie?” Jooyeon whines and I can’t help myself from thinking of how cute he is. He’s pouting at Jungsu.

“First of all, we’ve already watched it seven times,” Jungsu starts. The second reason follows is a bit quieter.

“And it makes me cry…” Jooyeon laughs when Jungsu looks away. They bicker back and forth until Jooyeon inevitably ends up winning and getting to watch Up. Jungsu leaves and goes to the kitchen. I thought he was upset with Jooyeon, but he instead comes back with a huge bowl of popcorn and sits between me and Jooyeon. I don’t hesitate to lean on Jungsu’s shoulder so I can reach the popcorn. Him and Jooyeon look at each other before Jungsu speaks.

“I’m feeling a bit stuffy, wanna switch spots Joo?” Jooyeon happily switches and holds the popcorn. He throws his hand across the back of the couch casually. It feels intentional, so I test the waters and lean into him a little bit. His arm carefully comes down to embrace me. The feeling of his warmth wrapped around my body gets rid of any tension. I let myself lay in his embrace while the movie continues.

I didn't even realize the movie ended until Jungsu got up. It was about eight and he had to get ready for bed. Me and Jooyeon got our laptops that still haven't loaded and went back to his dorm. His curtains are pulled back, but no sunlight comes in. It's already dark. The lamp he turns on is yellowish and dim, it adds a haze to the room which is aesthetically opposite to Jungsu’s. He has a leather couch with a patterned blanket to cover it and guitars displayed everywhere. His house is warmer and less organized, but still clean.

“Say, wanna light that candle?” He asks me. I look at him with a bright smile.He leaves to get a lighter and I get out the candle. I put the candle on the coffee table and he’s back with the lighter. I take the lighter and he heads over to the lamp and turns it off. The room is pitch black except for a couple of street lights outside and now the lighter. Jooyeon navigates to the other side of the table without bumping into anything. I take the lighter and finally light the candle. It smells good and illuminates the room softly. I’m shocked when our laptops light up despite being closed. Lobby music from ♭form plays from both of our laptops.

It’s not too big of a deal, I assume, because we did leave the application open when we shut off our computers. I go to grab mine, but as soon as my hand touches it, I get a small shock through my body. I jump back and yelp, which makes Jooyeon come up and see what happened. When I explain, he carefully grabs his own and also gets shocked. We stand in silence for a moment, trying to think of what could be happening. The lobby music that used to be exciting and welcoming suddenly feels ominous. Both of the laptops sit open and facing us. The game has loaded, but a new window has opened. A photo of ourself shows in the window. It isn’t a regular photo though, it’s an AI recreation. I take a step back from the entire situation and look at Jooyeon who is still tense.

“Wanna get something to drink?” I offer him. His body loosens and he agrees. I follow him to the kitchen. Jooyeon hands me a can of soda from his fridge. He sighs and leans against the counter.

“What’s going on, Y/n,” he sounds genuinely concerned.

“I dunno Joo,” I reply. His gaze softens at his nickname.

“We have to find out though,” I continue. He lifts himself off of the counter and follows me back into the living room.

“I’ve always admired your curiosity.” He says. I can’t find the words to reply. A new window has opened on our laptops. I run up to mine and see it has excerpts from my notes. That was locked and inaccessible. There's a progress bar stating it’s 89%. Once it reaches 100 and finishes uploading, all of those excerpts will be shared with everyone on ♭form, including Jooyeon. He’s the last person I want to see. Most of what I have written is about him. I try everything to stop the upload, but it keeps going. I go as far as to try and delete the file itself, then the game, and finally I try to factory reset the computer. All of my efforts prove useless.

I’m 3% away from having all of the most vulnerable fragments of my being exposed to the entire virtual platform.

“What’s yours doing?” Jooyeon asked. His voice sounds shallowly calm. He must be panicking inside like me.

“It’s uploading all of my personal notes to ♭form!” I cry out.

“It’s uploading my messages with one of my friends. I tell my secrets to him.” His voice tells me he’s accepted defeat. The progress bar has finished uploading and I take my laptop and leave. I’m not mad at Jooyeon, but I wasn’t planning on confessing. I go back into Jungsu’s dorm and drop my laptop on the couch. I can’t hold myself up anymore and let myself fall to the ground. My face is buried in my arms. Tears start rolling off of my face and down my arms. I look up and the candle we lit is in the middle of my screen. A text box below tells me to light it.

Of course my curiosity gets the best of me and I click it, lighting the digital candle. Messages start popping up. I notice the messages are between Jooyeon and that friend of his. His name is Jiseok. He asks Jooyeon about some girl. It makes my heart sting. He’s probably seeing my notes about him. I’m embarrassed because of all the dirty things I said, expecting no one to ever see it. One specific message pops up and stands out to me. ‘Her name is y/n, right?’ Jiseok said. The following message confirms I’m the one he’s talking about.

I feel a bit better to know he likes me, but he never mentioned anything inherently sexual about me. Thus when I hear him knocking on the door, I run and hide in Jungsu’s closet. I hear Jungsu gets up and goes to find Jooyeon. They’re just close enough for me to hear their conversation. Jungsu’s sleepy voice is confused.

“What is going on? It’s two in the morning, Joo!” He scolds our friend.

“I’m so sorry Jungsu. This is an emergency, though!” Jooyeon doesn’t sound angry or disgusted, but I can’t tell what he does feel.

“And how so?” Jungsu’s voice is more awake, and a bit sassy now.

“She likes me, and a lot!” His voice deepens and he draws out the words ‘a lot’. It sounds slightly sultry.

“Mhm, I kinda picked up on that. How’d you find out?” Jooyeon explains the entire situation which leaves Jungsu fully awake and in shock. It’s hard to listen to him talk about the things I’ve said in detail. I'm drowning in embarrassment. I wish I could disappear. I wish I didn't have to face any of this. I bury my head in my knees and hug my legs.

When I look back up, I'm in my room. Was I dreaming? I look around and all of my things are still gone. If it wasn't a dream, how'd I get here? I look and see it's still dark outside. The clock on my bedside says it's still two in the morning. What happened? I try to focus like I did last time. When I open my eyes again, I'm on my couch. I've already got a headache from the concentration, but I've gotta try it again just to confirm. I close my eyes one more time.

I try to focus like I did last time. When I open my eyes again, I'm on my couch. I've already got a headache from the concentration, but I've gotta try it again just to confirm. I close my eyes one more time, I try to focus on my kitchen, but thoughts of Jooyeon invade my mental clarity. Before I can back out, there I am, standing in front of Lee Jooyeon. I try to teleport back to my room, but he grabs my arms and sends a wave of electricity to me. It wasn’t metaphorical either. He locked me in place with an electric field.

His face is equally surprised and terrified. He lowers his hand and I swear I see lightning spark from his fingertips. Whatever either of us had in mind has been forgotten after realizing the effects of the shock. He moves his eyes from his hands to me.

“Are you ok?” He asks. That was his first concern? Not what just happened, but if I’m ok? I nod. I lift my hand up, curious to see if it’ll shock me to touch his hand. When our hands interlock, it doesn't hurt, but there’s a spark. His fingertips are rough from playing guitar, but his hands are warm against mine. Finally, we lock eyes. I swear I see something, I’m not sure if it’s the chemistry between us or the insane events of tonight, but I feel fated to him.

I grip his hand and shut my eyes. We end up in his bedroom. I push him down on the bed and climb on top of him.

“Not so fast now darling,” Jooyeon’s voice is low and flirty. He flips me over so he's now on top of me. He holds my arms above my head with an electric current. He smirks at his doings, seeing me unable to move by invisible forces.

“Cmon joo, please?”

“Please what?”

“Fuck meee,”

He smirks, pleased by my neediness. He wastes no time, his face disappears from my sight as he delves between my legs. His tongue is hot and wet against my slit. He sucks lightly, drinking in all of my fluids. I helplessly rut against his face to which he pulls away.

“Hold still.” He scolds me. His hands grip my thighs painfully hard. He lightly shocks me with his electricity. I do my best to hold still, but his tongue works wonders on my core. Before I can cum, he pulls away and sits me up. I obey him and let him put me into position. I'm on my knees, leaning forward with my front held up by the chains of electricity he has around my wrists.

"Think you can take me baby?" He whispers. His breath tickles my neck, leaving shivers running down my spine.

"Mhm" I say, but it comes out as more of a whimper than I'd like to admit. This seems to turn something in him as he seems more attuned to his instincts. He mounts me like some animal, pressing his length inside of me.

I groan at the way he fills me up. He's long and skinny, perfectly kissing my cervix. He doesn't allow much time for me to adjust before he starts moving. He doesn't go too fast though. His pace is fast enough to maintain the stimulation, but slow enough to feel every part of him in every part of me.

His arms trap me between him to hold himself up. Hot breath teases the back of my neck until his lips connect to my skin, kissing and biting at me. He bites down on my shoulder as he speeds up his thrusting. His moans vibrate through my flesh and bones. I feel he's getting close. He shifts his weight to his left arm, bringing the right to my clit and circling it in rhythm with his thrusts. I grow weak, my body taking control for me. My orgasm triggers his own, he pulls out just in time, stroking himself through his high and spurting ropes of cum on my back. Tiny shocks spread through my body, none of which are painful, but enough to overstimulate me.

Upon finishing, he releases me from his restraints. He lays beside me, exhausted from the moment we'd just shared. When he looks into my eyes, I swear I see a passionate glint of lightning in his gaze.

[fugos-lil-fork]

Hey! Can i please request bucci gang + trish headcannon where they have been dating g/n s/o for few months now, but s/o has been canceling dates for another bucci gang member and they starts to feel like s/o doesn’t love them anymore, but s/o has secretly planned a suprise party for them!😭❤️

Im sorry if the request is too much! You can ignore if you don’t wanna write this!😗❤️

Have nice day/night🫶

It's alright! It's not too much! Tysm for the request! I hope you have a good day as well! (´ ▽｀).。ｏ♡

~➗🍓🍊🐞⏳🔫🤐~

Bucci Gang with s/o avoiding them to plan a surprise party!

Abbacchio;

He is quick to feel hurt about you avoiding him

Without knowing what's going on, he thinks this is your way of informing him that you're losing interest in him

He, himself, still was a bit in disbelief that someone like you could love someone like him

So, deep down inside, he almost expected a day like this would come-

And so, he began distancing himself from you as well

Sometimes even ignoring you when you did have the time to interact with him

You were quick to catch on

Unfortunately, because if this you had to break the surprise party to him before actually showing it to him-

He's so disappointed in himself-

He felt both ridiculous for thinking you would do such a thing

But also thought you were ridiculous for thinking he would like a surprise party-

Nevertheless, it all ended with awkward chuckles and soft apologies and a gentle kiss

He appreciated the gesture of you trying to throw him a party.

But request for them not to be a surprise ever again-

And you reassure him that you'd never hurt him in such a way

In the end he's just very happy and glad to know that he still has you

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Bruno;

His first response is to worry about you

He thinks maybe there's something going on with you that you're afraid to share and therefore are avoiding him in order to not say anything

Tries to approach you to ask you what's wrong or to ask if you could at least talk to him later

Unfortunately, you'll continue to excuse yourself from such conversations-

Eventually he convinces himself to just let you be

Maybe you just need time by yourself

Maybe you'll come to him when you're ready

Soon enough you did come to him, but apperently not to talk but rather to take him somewhere

He tries to talk to you while you're rushing him to your destination

However, he's soon cut off by everyone else jumping out cheering "Surprise!" And wishing him a happy birthday

He's unbelievably happy and humbled

He's quick to realize why you've been distant

He tells you he genuinely thought something was wrong so he's glad to see you were just planning a surprise party for him

You reassure him if something ever were to be wrong, he'd be the first to know

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Mista;

He was actually pretty chill about it

Shrugged your actions off

He figured you were probably busy or had other more important stuff to do

Hell, he even forgot to ask you what was up later on-

He just had completely convinced himself that you simply had other things to do-

So, it was definitely a bombshell when you revealed his surprise birthday party to him

He was immediately excited and thanked you repeatedly for the surprise

Definitely pulls you into a kiss as well

Then tells you he honestly thought you had just been busy doing something else

But was glad to see that he was that thing you were so busy about!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Narancia;

He gets pouty

Then makes it his official mission to try to get you to pay attention to him and quit avoiding him

But you make it harder for him to interact with you

In which case he begins to get upset

He starts to think that you're going to eventually leave him behind because your too busy for him

He ends up basically moping around

Battling his own thoughts.

Maybe you aren't leaving him.

Maybe you really are busy.

He definitely isn't very happy with himself thinking such things about you

And once you get his attention by asking him to follow you, those negative thoughts quickly begin to be lifted

Once you surprise him he's unbelievably overjoyed

Quickly tackles you into a hug and smothers you with kisses

Absolutely praising you for your hard work on planning everything out

And profusely thanking you for the surprise

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Fugo;

He's confused with your actions

Why are you avoiding him?

If you're busy you could just tell him

Rather than straight up avoiding him

He gets a bit pissy over this

But then that grumpiness turns into fear

Had he done something to you that you didn't approve on by accident?

Did he say something to you that you didn't like by accident?

He also begins to put some distance between the two of you

Believing maybe he did do something wrong and needed to give you time to talk to him again

You start to notice how distant he's becoming and approach him about it

You quickly explain he didn't do anything wrong but that you have something to show him

Once presenting him with the surprise he's completely taken a back

While he definitely cherishes the surprise party

Even though he also doesn't like surprise parties but he'll suck it up just for you-

He requests that next time to just make up a reason as to why you can't interact rather than make him worry-

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Giorno;

He's also confused

Though, unlike Fugo, he doesn't get upset

He draws the conclusion that you most likely have something important to deal with and can't talk at the moment

At least that was his most rational explanation

However, he did find it odd that you couldn't just quickly tell him that

It would be better than just straight up ignoring him

Nonetheless, he actually tells you, himself, to just go talk to him whenever you have the time

He'll always be waiting for you after all

And soon enough you did go to him

But not just to talk, rather take him somewhere as well

The poor boy had no idea how to react to his surprise party

Just kinda stood there for a bit before politely thanking everyone and especially you for the gesture

Can't help but give you a peck on the cheek as a thank you for the party

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Trish;

She's offended-

Why would you avoid her?

She definitely doesn't think she's done anything to hurt you!

Or maybe she did?-

Starts to worry-

She tries to push the thoughts away though

But she can't figure out why you'd be avoiding her

You two trusted each other with everything, if something was wrong you'd tell her

Right?

She hesitantly tries to get you to talk to her but you always excuse yourself before she can get anything out

Eventually though, you came up to her wanting to take her somewhere

She kinda was grumpy about the request though

After all that time avoiding her, you really had the nerve to ask her to go somewhere with talking about how you had been acting?

Fine, but only because she loves you-

She reluctantly follows you just to be absolutely amazed by her surprise party

She turns to hug you tightly and give you a kiss

But then immediately scolds you about avoiding her-

Nevertheless, she loves her surprise and you!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[allykatsart]

pls i’m so feral about your deer boi oc tell me more i wanna know how the whole everyone notices he’s terrified of alastor thing goes

Who is Peccantum?

HO BOY YOU ASKED FOR IT-

Husk, of course, is the first to notice.

He's a gambler, bartender, and is far more attentive than other sinners give him credit for. Of course he notices Peccantum is treading on eggshells everywhere, and not just for comedic effect. The young buck is genuinely terrified of Alastor.

However, Husk isn't one to act on that information. Not only is it none of his business, Husk is also kind of in the same boat as Peccantum. Honestly, the bartender thinks Peccantum's fear is warranted. He does soften over time, but what can he do, really?

Angel Dust is the first to help.

It would be post episode 4, when Angel really starts to connect with others at the hotel. Angel just kinda always assumed Peccantum was a panicky, on edge weirdo. As they get to know each other a little more, Angel realizes that's not actually the case. Peccantum is usually a sarcastic, passionate, clever guy! So the way the bellhop acts around Alastor... It reminds Angel a touch too much of his situation with Val

(Not in romance or assault, but in the 'Im going to fuck with you for my own amusement' way)

So, Angel starts doing little things. He doesn't want to piss off the strawberry pimp, so no direct confrontation, but he can still help Peccantum not get jump scared. Angel greets Alastor out loud when Alastor enters a room quietly. He lingers in rooms where Peccantum would be alone otherwise. Small things that prepare Peccantum beforehand.

In return, Peccantum makes Angel warm drinks when Angel comes back from a long day. He learns recipes that Angel likes and cooks dinner. He gives Angel a book called "A hundred and one dirty jokes for the wickedly perverted." Small things.

They don't talk about it, and it's not a foolproof strategy, but it helps.

Sir Pentious, the best friend, takes it very seriously.

Sir Pentious doesn't pick up on it like Husk and Angel do, so it takes an actual conversation with Peccantum about it for him to realize it's serious. Pentious and Peccantum are Science Buddies™️ so it doesn't take long before Pentious starts coming up with inventions that might help! Magic seeking goggles, ocular augmentations, even a scanner to help identify Alastor before he appears! They have a little fun with it.

In the end, though, Pentious keeps it simple. He and Peccantum develop a secret hand signal for if Peccantum needs someone to distract Alastor. That way Peccantum can slip away and calm himself down if he's spiraling!

They also develop a secret handshake but that's beside the point.

Charlie....

Despite what everyone thinks, Charlie isn't stupid. She's observant and empathetic, and quickly picks up that Peccantum is nervous around Alastor. She can understand that, Hell, sometimes the Radio Demon makes her nervous! She's also a fixer, so would try to resolve the issue with diplomacy and setting boundaries. Sure, Alastor probably doesn't care about Peccantum, but Alastor does listen to her!

But she doesn't have the context.

I don't think Peccantum would tell her anything, and may actively try to keep his thoughts about Alastor private from her. I also think Alastor has made it clear that if Peccantum tries to hide behind Charlie, he's in for a lot worse than just some scares. Alastor defers to Charlie out of obligation and opportunity, but he refuses to have others use her to manipulate himself. Especially not a soul he owns.

Peccantum, of course, complies. He has to convincingly lie to Charlie, which makes his stomach squirm with guilt, but it's fine. He's overreacting anyways. It's fine. It's the price he chose to pay for power.

As long as he has magic, he shouldn't care what Alastor decides to do with him.

It's fine.

(No, it's not)

[osarina]

hi carina !! havent been in ur inbox for a while, hru :)) i hope ur well >^< !!

i'm mainly here to ask if u have any writing tips/advice bc ur lit one of my fave bsd writers ever i adore all ur works sm and recently i've hated everything im writing ajkrnjekncvej SO IM WONDERING IF U HAVE ANY ADVICE CEJFCNJ (hopefully this isnt strange eabfihri)

you dont hafta answer this is u dont wanna btw !!! have a great day mwah <333

REDDDDDD MY SWEET LOVE BUG i've been doing okay!! work hasn't been as awful as i expected it to be, i rlly got lucky with my boss HAHAH - how are you doing?? you had exams right?? i hope they all went well!! sorry it took me so long to answer this one, but i wanted to actually be able to give u a good response so it had to wait until i had time i fear

IT'S NOT STRANGE, ur so sweet im giving u the softest forehead smooch. i'm sorry to hear you've been feeling that way about your writing though - i get it, trust me i do LOL, i go through days and weeks where i literally am revulsed by every word i put down in a doc. actually, i just went thru it like 2 days ago while writing the first chapter of civilian dazai so it's all fresh in the head LOL

honestly, i think the most important tip i have is really basic but u should never force yourself to write just for the sake of getting something out. like, i've done it before and whenever i do, i'm soooo unhappy with the results that it usually makes me go through a huge writing slump -> this happened with uu6 actually, i was so busy but i was trying to force the chapter out on time that i ended up rewriting it like 3 times because i hated it so much. finally i decided to move on to write some pmzai drabbles to clear my head & then came back to uu6 when i started feeling it again and behold, it came with ease. sometimes when i want to write but none of my wips are doing it for me, i'll literally conjure up a huge list of tropes and just read through it until one pops out to me LOL and then ill work on that

another i think basic piece of advice is reading. whether its fanfics, or novels, or whatever. whenever i have trouble liking what i write, i find something to read. reading is actually how i taught myself to write HAHAH my go tos are fantasy/scifi- tolkein, martin, herbert, rf kuang, i've been meaning to read sanderson but haven't had the time yet. honestly, in general, if i have free time and i'm not writing something, 9/10 i'm reading something.

i think plotting is also really important!! even for like one-shots, sometimes i get so lost in the writing that i lose focus of what the fic was originally supposed to be about and that frustrates me into deleting everything i've written. so something i do is i list out all of the scenes i want to see in a chapter or a one-shot before i start writing it so that i don't lose focus.

dialogue is a huge hurdle for me - sometimes i struggle to figure out whether or not my dialogue is realistic, so LOL sometimes i just sit there and speak it out loud, acting out a conversation with myself to see if it flows properly and then adjust accordingly. sometimes i do it for like descriptions/narration too if i think the narration isn't flowing or is too clunky. reading things out loud is a go-to way for me to figure out what's wrong with my writing.

and then lastly, this is more of a mental thing than anything else, but i've just slowly had to teach myself not to be too hard on myself. like i'll get so mad if something doesn't come out exactly how i envisioned it, and it used to genuinely make me so disappointed that i couldn't bring myself to write for days. so i've just slowly been working myself into a mentality telling myself that it doesn't have to be perfect to be great, yknow. and ten times out ten, you're seeing faults in your writing that no one else will take notice of.

so the whole tldr:

only write what you WANT to write, dont force urself to finish/write something

read when you can, whether its fanfic or novels or whatever u can get ur hands on

plot things out so you don't get lost

read things out loud that aren't making sense

work on not being so hard on yourself

[voidedaurora]

May I ask why you and Quartz don’t talk anymore? You two seemed to be close and last month they posted you on the radiomagicshow account??

This is no disrespect, but if Quartz hurt you, we would support you!

I honestly really want to talk about it because what happened/how It happened wasn't ok at all, I was honestly treated really unfairly and terribly by her + 2 other (now ex) friends but to be 100% honest I don't think I can currently speak on it, at least not here. I also don't wanna start a bunch of drama but idk some of the stuff is just :( I have proof for 80% of the things I'd need proof for so I'm covered on that end, there's some really fucking weird/questionable stuff going on behind the scenes that I never got any clarity on so I'm weary to throw things out there only having my point of view- (though she wouldn't let me talk to her or clear things up so I guess If I do speak on them its her fault for not talking to me about it I guess?) ASWELL to talk about her I also have to directly bring down the other two Ex friends which I have no issue doing bc they are foul people but its just alot There's ALOT I've kept to myself for a long time because she was my closest friend and I didn't want anyone attacking her anymore but now im left with her gone and absolutely no reason to keep that loyalty She's surrounded by people who constantly glaze her and refuse to recognize toxic behaviors or even accept she's flawed so im a bit scared to fully speak out I really do not want to be witch-hunted by the really dedicated ones, nor do I want her to have a "Ha!" moment and frame me speaking out as some "freak out". On that last note though, Its absolutely crazy to me that I got booted/treated badly because I treated her like a normal person and tried to communicate with her but yes I am the villain TLDR: I wanna talk about it but I think her fans + friends will gut me no matter what or how I say it! If any of y'all think its important for me to talk about it based off of the vague description I'll try my best to because I do need some sort of closure but AUUGHH sorry this post is scattered, I originally actually wrote out what happened but I didn't think it was written correctly (I'm better at verbally talking about "drama" than I am writing about it) Also a little edit + Side note for the record If she ever wants to talk this out and communicate like normal people do then I've made it 1000% clear to her already that I'm more than willing to talk to her about everything in private because this whole thing is something that genuinely could be worked out with a conversation or two (respectfully I know she will in fact NOT talk to me herself, if anything i'd probably have to "pass notes" through a mutual or something bruh)

[purpurussy]

literally haven't eaten anything all day (it's gone 7pm) or been outside in several days or slept more than 4 hours/night in the last week so im probably just being insane for no reason atm but

i feel like I'm at a weird sort of crossroads with this blog?

when i made this account i saw it as kind of an experiment in vulnerability and positivity. i said i'm gonna try my best to post what's in my heart and not care whether it does numbers or not. if people like it they like it, if not that's okay because i like it and i'm having fun. and i'm gonna practise some kind of general radical positivity/acceptance towards others too. like i promised myself i would not allow this to be anything other than a positive experience, a nice opportunity to express myself in a way that's disconnected from how people see me irl and maybe connect with likeminded people along the way

and once i started writing fic i literally couldn't stop, like the idea of being able to share my writing and have other people enjoy it too is so exciting and motivating to me. there is so much happening in my google docs atm and it feels so good to be writing again after years of feeling too depressed to create anything

however unfortunately i am the grumpiest most insecure person on earth and i have never let go of anything in my life. i've already been unable to stop myself from wading into discourse™ and the general social media fomo/insecurity is starting to get to me. like when did i go from just gleefully shouting into the void, to constantly checking my activity, trying to figure out the best times to post, literally crying when my stuff doesn't do as well as i wanted it to??? taking note of which posts flopped and which ones did well, so i can post more of the popular content instead of just posting what i want. none of this is even real, yet it's been bothering me in a very real way. most of which is just my brain turning it into a negative experience for fully self-imposed reasons

i do think social media is poison in general. and i know it does not work at all for someone who is very prone to having a complete menty b at the first sign of any kind of rejection. and i know a big part of the problem is that i'm attaching too much value to this blog and how people respond to my posts (I have been connecting with my friends irl more lately, but social media is literally designed to prey on the part of your brain that perceives social rejection as a threat to your existence so unfortunately it feels like this matters to me a lot more than it should. also my irls do not want to hear about dan and phil lmao)

idk if i should just accept that this is not good for me and delete, or if it's possible to once again achieve the carefree fun i was having at first. maybe if i can work on my irl issues i'll start to feel a bit better and then it won't bother me as much?

i'm also sort of wondering how much i should reveal about myself? like i want to feel completely free to post as much cringe/insanity/weird smut as I want. and if i was posting in a way that would be easily traceable back to my actual identity then i'd definitely be a lot more careful with what i say. but on the other hand i wanna get to know people better! it would be fun to hop into a discord and actually have a conversation with people rather than just rambling in the tags on their posts. so i'm not really sure what to do with that either. it's kinda fun to truly exist as a completely formless entity in a way, like im literally just tumblr dot com slash purpurussy and there's something freeing about that, even if it does make me feel like i'm missing out on a chance to connect with people properly sometimes

also that idea scares me! everyone on here is genuinely so cool and wonderful and it gives me such a huge dopamime hit when someone i admire likes my stuff. so it's just scary to interact with people more because it feels like oh no they're gonna realize im actually a cantankerous little troll that lives under a bridge and is a nightmare to talk to lmfao

this makes no sense and i'll probably delete it in a bit i just had to get it off my chest

[sweetblossoms]

saw your post abt rapunzel manipulating tim in their convo and god hard agree it Is concerning that so many ppl didn't see it. also crazy to me that ppl are mad at tim and defending rapunzel, saying that they would have taken the book too because tim was being rude etc. to me it seemed that both tim the character and ally the player Wanted to believe that rapunzel wasn't part of the plan and was good but just kind of strange, and both are successfully fooled. tim absolutely fumbles the interaction and ally could have played things better, but rapunzel was so clearly in charge of the conversation, leading him into saying worse and worse things and putting his foot in his mouth while tim was genuinely trying to be nice. tim is awkward and blunt and eccentric with Everyone, it's weird that ppl are saying he was being singularly rude to her or patronizing her or that he deserved to get the book taken. that interaction was clumsy as hell and so many words could have been chosen better but tim so clearly was trying so hard to fix his initial fuck up and be friendly w her in the same weird way he talks to everyone. I don't see how ppl came out of that scene on her side even if tim was a little rude and unfortunate w his word choice, and it's concerning to see ppl being like "ha take that stupid old man!!" abt the book being taken + in defense of a character we met an episode and a half ago and who we have been told outright is an expert at deceiving people. the princesses are so so interesting as characters and the morals going on are complex and that's a whole different conversation, but I feel like no matter whether you love rapunzel or not, ppl should be able to recognize that she was manipulating tim in that moment and taking advantage of his trusting disposition. not trying to start discourse in your ask box ofc!!! I've just seen No One Else express discomfort w rapunzel in that scene

anon this ask has been living in my head rent free since you sent it, i've been stewing over how to respond because y e s. for context, check out this post to save discourse on main (this is about to be a long one of fan critic analysis, get your popcorn and settle in if you wanna read, this is the longest post i've ever made), im gonna put my thoughts and response under a read more, sososo many spoilers under the cut read at your own risk

These were all in the replies and tags and I want to reply to all of them bc they're all worthy of being talked about bc i feel like the majority of the fandom is almost scared to critique?? So like let's talk about it since nobody else seems to be taking this approach from what I can tell (thank you to you anon for being on my side as well as the rest of you who are screaming with me) I will begin by saying that my original post is not critiquing ally the player, or any of the other players. i understand that they were in that dome, filming a session of dungeons and dragons, and improv acting and roleplaying for many hours on end with back to back episodes. i kind of get ally and the rest of the table maybe just wanting to "hope for the best", especially ally as they are quite a "hope for the good in others" type of person. it's frustrating from a viewer perspective sure, but i totally dont blame anyone ever for making a "wrong" or "non-optimal" choice while playing a ttrpg, they just have the misfortune of being filmed while doing so. i myself have made tons of bag fumbles while playing dnd, even when i thought everything through ten times over. so anything i have said or will say forward isn't to put any shouldering on to the people playing these silly storybook characters, like, i Get It

What i do want to critique is the fan response, which is the more worrying one!!! like i said in my original post, i was surprised by my d20 watch buddy having a similar response to ally. the total "oh, maybe she's just quirky bc of the self isolation, maybe she's autism rep" approach. my friend, love her to death, is also one of those "sees the best in others and hope everyone is always aiming to be their best selves" type of person, very similar to ally. i came online after that episode expecting everybody on the fanbase level to be screaming with me in a "i told you so!!" way

instead. i came online and saw people just on the attack and the defense in absolutely skewed ways!! out of NOWHERE, all these fans have come on to post about how "tim was patronizing her, and thats why she stole the book" "wow i would have hated being called girly and honey as well" "wow these conversations really didnt go their way why was tim so mean to her :(" or the opposite of "rapunzel is the evilest person to ever exist bc xyz these princesses are evil villains" or "we need to protect these princesses bc they just didnt know any better uwu"

i feel like, on a fan level, me and you anon (+all these lovely folks in the notes of that post) were the only ones screaming "hold on, that is literally not the same media i just watched"

i've seen before a lot of people be like "wow, media literacy is at an all time low" and i never really understood that until i saw the reactions after that episode. as a fan or viewer watching any media, we have the privilege of seeing more about the media than the people who are creating it. that's the best joy of being a viewer, we get to sit back and spot those foreshadowing moments and bite our nails in suspense when the music goes creepy and see the artwork and overall, we have the privilege of catching vibes that maybe those acting in it do not. this leads to those bonding moments of "i told you so" "wow im biting my nails and pacing" "oh they're gonna REGRET that". and, an "oh my god no no no do not hug her she wants to take your book god now she's feeling you up with her hair she's looking for the book ROLL INITIATIVE!!!!". it leads to glorious moments of ~dramatic irony~, a literary term for literally when something is happening in a story and the readers can catch it, but the protagonist probably didnt bc they're not seeing the full picture. While watching, from my perspective, yeah it was frustrating to watch the player bag fumble turn after turn, but it's a game of dnd, they film so many back to back, they don't get the same experience as us. however.

brennan did a great job at dropping the foreshadowing, to the point of not even so much subtly foreshadowing, he DIRECTLY TOLD THEM rapunzel was a liar and uses her words as knives. like someone pointed out, the players even PAID for that information, with the golden bridle. by the time they met these princesses, they probably knew the most about rapunzel's true nature over all the other princesses, that she uses her charisma to her advantage. the players made their choice to do the diplomatic route, to split up and chat. ally did the right thing for picking rapunzel with tim's 19 charisma stat, it would have been charisma against charisma, and an even playing field for someone they have been explicitly told is a master of words and deceit.

as fans, we've seen these episodes edited and put back to back. clues are lined up in a row. was it frustrating to see ally playing tim in a naïve way? sure. but tim's been pretty naïve this whole time, so you could stack it up to a character choice. what's more frustrating is seeing the responses of viewers being blindsided by the book thieving and chalking it all up to "evil vs good" and rapunzel's choice shaking them to their cores.

by this point in the story, by the time you get to that episode, rapunzel already gave enough bad vibes with the talk of her charismatic deceits and with her hair everywhere spying on them. maybe that last one wasn't explicitly stated, but it was heavily implied to the point of gerard writing the plans on a note instead of wanting them said out loud by elody, a scene that happened way before tim's. by the time we see rapunzel get to the kitchen, she is INSTANTLY catty. someone described her on the post as "eldritch regina george" and. yes. exactly. eldritch regina george. from our privileged spot as a viewer, rapunzel comes in, puts on the fake smile, puts on her fake tone, and says "what are you doing in here? :)". she was already ready to fight timothy. that first sentence was hostile. she was OFFENDED and checking on tim to make sure mother goose wasn't counter-spying. i honestly didnt think that would have to have been explicitly stated, she was in attack mode and plastered the fake smile for a show so that she had the upperhand in the conversation that was about to happen. this is something that fans should have at least caught on to right off the bat, we've been explicitly told that she is fake more than she is honest for the sake of being a "performative person"

the conversation happens, and she starts becoming more verbally hostile. "i dont know, what SHOULD we do hehe. it's ruined now :)" "no use in crying over spilt milk *pours milk with hair on the floor with a smile* oh no :)" "...or if it was on purpose :/ :)" "why dont you go get a mop :)" "i chose to be charming :)"

every sentence she replied with was carefully chosen. as viewers, we can watch brennan's face in full clarity of intimidation. we can have the knowledge that has been provided to not trust rapunzel as she is a charismatic spy who has words for knives. in my opinion, even without those clues before now, her show that she put on in the kitchen should have been enough as is to show that she is acting maliciously and with hostility. the smile is there as to not incite physical violence on tim's part bc then it would make TIM look like the bad guy if he attacked first. by the time she goes in for the hug. im sorry. but ally the player should have caught that, the whole table should have caught that, and-more importantly-the fans should have caught that. we all watched the same thing. we have all been told the same information. to purposefully ignore all of the red flags just to pull a "well tim was kind of mean and patronizing, and rapunzel doesnt have social skills from being locked in a tower, i forgive her, wow i didnt see that coming" is absolutely *batshit*

the lack of people catching on is what concerns me. i've met TONS of people growing up (sorry here, im all for women's wrongs, but mainly cis-girls tbh) who act like rapunzel does. from middle school and high school bullies/mean girls. mean girls at college. from parents or teachers or bosses. from normal adults in my life. they always have the same tone and inflections in the same places. the same faces with the wrinkled nose. the same sickly sweet smile. brennan played rapunzel, a known manipulator, perfectly. to a T. he embodied it fully. people JUST LIKE RAPUNZEL walk amongst us every day. i can guarantee you that even these fans that didnt catch it have met people like rapunzel in their own lives.

rapunzel is a character yes, but she is a character that mimics a masterclass manipulator. she IS the mean girl, the regina george. it leaked out of her every word, tone, and inflection. every single thing told about her and shown was, in no world, some "uwu the sweet bean was locked in a tower and doesnt have social skills". that was her origin, her start point. just like sleeping beauty locked in a castle, snow locked in her coffin. rapunzel directly says "i chose to be charming. :)." she had her origin of no social skills, her sad origin of being locked in isolation in her tower, and said "this is my greatest flaw, so i am going to dedicate my life to improving this skill bc it's what stopping me from achieving my goals." she trained her social skills to be good. too good. so good that she hopes nobody will catch her sweet charming self in the act of malicious intentions. this. was. directly. stated.

it worries me on a psychological level of the fans. yes it shows a lack of media literacy, something is frustrating on a fan-to-fan level. it shows a lack of ability of critical thinking. it shows a lack of ability to participate in dramatic irony, a necessary literary device to instill tension into a horror campaign. but also, and to what is probably my main point in this novel long hot take: it has real world implications. mean girls like rapunzel are a guarantee in life. i'm sorry, but it's true. maybe the person acts differently, maybe they aren't as obvious or more obvious. but these people walk amongst us. they use the same tone and same cadence to their words. these manipulators see what they want, and devise a way to convince the person into giving them what they want. rapunzel did not use the Charm Person spell, or the Friendship spell. She used. her words. like a normal human being. and by doing so, we as the fans were able to catch on and should have had a moment of "RUN GOOSE, RUN AWAY, NO DONT LET HER HUG YOU". but instead, a lot of people turn a blind eye to these manipulators in their lives. they pull a "aw but they have a tragic backstory, they're just confused and need love :/" "they cant be THAT bad..." they see a sweet little smile on the face and an upticked tone of voice, and go "well, they're playing nice, so now i have to play nice bc otherwise im the bad guy here" which!!! you do not!!

this is exactly how manipulators worm their ways in, this is what ALLOWS manipulation to work in its various forms. it's how people get trapped in abusive relationships. it's how people get scammed. on a personal end, i lived a narcissistic manipulator for a long time growing up, and it was exhausting. once you could put down the rose colored glasses and see right through the act, you notice how every inch of their mannerisms are performative. everything they say and do comes with the caveat of them wanting something from you and are trying to butter you up in the meantime. if you catch and call onto it, they IMMEDIATELY turn on you, they sneer and retreat to their next target who it will fool. the cycle continues, the next target is selected.

on a fan level, if we as fans cannot play into dramatic irony as a practice, if we cannot exit our seats of mind to catch on to those "eldritch regina george" quirks at the bud in a piece of fictional media where the puzzle has been handed on a silver platter, then there is a l o t more work to be done on 1) general media literacy 2) ANY fandom perception on media and 3) general awareness of how to spot and deal with manipulators in real life. if you can't catch on to it in a silly fictional ttrpg media, how do you expect to catch on to it in real life? how many of these same fans are trapped in manipulative relationships around them? how many more will they fall for bc of the "oh no but they have tragic backstory so it's forgiven uwu"? as fans, you cant sit there in the same breath saying that tim was condescending to rapunzel and then follow it up with not noticing what was ACTUALLY happening in real time. if you wanna say that rapunzel was ALLOWED to be a manipulator because of her origin, what other manipulators are you defending in your real life? how many of these manipulators continue their tricks BECAUSE they know naïve people exist and will fall for it? how many have been enabled in the same cycle bc it worked on one so it'll work on the next?

i wish i had a fun way to conclude this absolutely massive chunk of fandom critique gibberish, but i just dont. i wish i could find a more comprehensive way to scream about this, so take this post as me SCREAMING about this, anon my dm's are open if we wanna rant some more

[moonshynecybin]

do you have any books recommendations? 🙏

okay usually i like to know a general vibe for recommendations bc this is INTIMATE!!! and im actually in a weird place in my reading journey where im trying to branch out and try a bunch of different books in a bunch of different genres bc i got lowkey sick of what i was reading all the time so this is all over the place. whatever fuck it. here are some recent ones in no particular order that ive enjoyed OR at the very least found interesting. most of these are pretty famous i'll be real im not breaking the wheel here. under the cut bc she is long

our wives under the sea by julia armfield. was this book good hmm i dont know. was it kind of fucked up and interesting. YES. some of the prose is legitimately sooo gorgeous and the portrait it paints of the central relationship is intimate and oftentimes heartrending i still think about it which is kind of what you want from a story tbh... a really slow plot (kind of nonexistent) thats frankly more about grief than anything. theres some spooky body horror here so beware

slaughterhouse five by kurt vonnegut. shes a classic for a REASON. do you ever pick up a book that is very beloved and famous. and then get genuinely and pleasantly surprised that it actually rules. happened to me. legit kind of life changing and also made me laugh out loud. if you havent read it get on it

the kingdoms by natasha pulley. read this over the summer and i vividly remember sitting in the basement at my job hiding so i could read one more page i was RIVETED!!! its historical fantasy its time travel its amnesia it is. on a boat. basically like what if fucked up gay love and also magic made france win the napoleonic wars would that be crazy or what!!! and it was!! also read some of her other stuff which is VERY similar and it was like. fine to good. but i LOVED this one

carrie by stephen king. read it around halloween and i enjoyed it more than i thought i would ! some category 5 stephen king sexism but its an interesting 200 page scifi novel with epistolary elements and some great characters i can see how it launched his career into the stratosphere... really good one to start off with reading stephen king if you wanna dip a toe in but are wary of the 1000 page doorstop novels. i say give it a try !

demon copperhead by barbara kingsolver. recent pulitzer prize winner. its a retelling of david copperfield with a distinctly southern appalachian lens which im always interested in because i am from southern appalachia and frankly the way we get treated in fiction is wild. like hillbilly cannibals who are illiterate coalminers wild. if i ever catch the guy that wrote hillbilly elegy we are throwing hands. but i liked this ! the region does have a long history of poverty and it was interesting to think about that in conversation to the social commentary with a victorian vibe from david copperfield. i mean this is decidedly unvictorian but that was floating in the back of my head at all times reading it so it made me THINK.

giovanni's room by james baldwin. another one where i was like do you see this shit?? this shit is crazy. and the shit in question is one of the most acclaimed and beloved novels of all time. anyways another life changer get on it.

even as we breathe by annette saunooke clapsaddle. another southern appalachia moment ! this one rings VERY true for me actually, despite being a historical novel... written with a lot of love for the area and made me cry a bit cause i was homesick at the time... great mystery and cool local history. also! one of the better representations of the cherokee people ive seen in fiction. which usually im hesitant to like. pin that as a THE major reason you should read it bc the story is ALSO very good but its a central theme of the novel so i thought i should mention it. plus the author is cherokee so she's coming at it with knowledge and care

in memoriam by alice winn. recommendation from a tumblr mutual so i thought id continue the tradition! read it in literally a day so im fuzzy on the details but its about rich eton style english schoolboys getting their spirits basically destroyed in the trenches of ww1... also a gay love story... lots of poetry very tragic but not overly so and certainly very readable... a competent historical gay romance if thats ur thing youll probably enjoy it

the poppy war by r f kuang. interesting bc it initially feels like a historical fantasy novel with a young protagonist going to a magic school and overcoming the odds slash beating the evil enemy story thats been done one billion times. but it is DEEPLY not that. takes the conventions of the genre and kind of refuses to make them reducible or easy to package. deals with war (read the warnings etc). deals with genocide. deals with race. wrestles with the ethics of all of its characters and comes down with some nuance. kind of a slay

and then here's some all time faves that are just GOOD and im reasonably sure anyone would have a good time with:

jane eyre. i have quoted this enough on this blog cmon. also if youre following me youre probably a fan of fucked up relationships so you should go. be with the OG. fly. like its foundational to the GENRE babyyyy

dracula. yayyyyy epistolary novelssss... another "fun" classic along with dorian gray... read em both they slap

the book thief. took me a year to read. made me cry lots.

daisy jones and the six. look at me look AWAYYY from the amazon series look at ME. this is a fun book. and if you are in a reading slump i frankly HIGHLY recommend it bc it is done in the style of like. a documentary autopsy on a fleetwood mac esque band implosion so its told in 100% dialogue as if they are being interviewed. you can read it in a DAY and its FUN and sometimes they CONTRADICT each other which i LOVE

the queens thief by meghan whalen turner. GOD!!!!! all time. all time. straight relationships in fiction that make you crazyyyyyyy and also genuinely delightful twists at the end of each book i LOVED them. i read them all in the pandemic they slayyyy

howl's moving castle. delightful. if you like a silly time in a fantasy world that makes you laugh a lot i would recommend. also the sequel its fun

any terry pratchet novel thank you goodnight

[brybryby]

VERY LONG POST IM SORRY. DONT FEEL OBLIGED TO READ

HI. Alrighty, this has been on my mind for a while (ever since promotional content for Trials started being released).

I have a TON of analyses in the drafts, but I want to make this post before I release them for public viewing.

I know that I like to make goofy, light-hearted little fan animations and fan art of Outlast, but I think I need to start changing how I navigate through the content. After spending so much of my time deep diving and writing up these analyses, my eyes have been opened to just how much the franchise revolves around fucked up historical events. I feel that some of the stuff I've posted is tone deaf, or at least the way I posted about it is. And I think—for the most part—there's an understanding that I don't intend to be harmful, but I fear that the way I go about it **is**. (And obviously, action takes precedence over intent.)

For contextualization, when I initially got into Outlast at the age of 12, I was enthralled by the horror aesthetics and found a lot of the angsty gore to be cathartic. I felt so “taboo” and “scandalous” lol (especially as a developing child trying to understand myself amidst my puberty stage). I was young and—for lack of a better word—braindead in how I navigated the media. I was naive, mindless, ignorant, etc etc… Now that I have a deeper understanding of the narratives and historical implications/influences, I need to do better in how I interact with the franchise.

What am I getting at?

Pretty much, I'm working on being more careful with how I interact with the media. At the same time, I want the analyses that I post to be educational. And most importantly, please message me if I ever say some bullshit. Seriously. All I ever want to do with my life is to be a positive impact. I genuinely get upset if I cause harm to someone else. (One time I literally cried at a high school football game as a freshman because I thought I hurt someone else's feelings. It turned out they were faking it lmao. Then they started feeling bad and then that made me feel bad for crying and yea yea).

Seriously though. I know that my posts can get public outreach, and anything that has public outreach can be influential and have a good or bad impact. So please let me know if I do or say anything harmful or ignorant. I won't be offended. I don’t want to spread harmful stuff. There are many instances in my life where people sit me down to have meaningful conversations about shit I've said or done and how I can improve myself.

That said, I'll be posting more analyses and making my own syntheses of historical events. My next analysis post will be about Waylon's Asian-coding (specifically Korean-coding), how Trials actually supports this (using themes of US immigration), and why it is apparent to many Asian fans (including me, hehe).

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That's pretty much it. But if you wanna stick around a bit further, I'll tell you my (excruciatingly long) story about how I got into Outlast :) along with how much it has invaded my brain and life :') and maybe get a little ~personal~ hehe

STORYTIME:

So, the game came out in 2013. Nearly 10 years ago. I was 12 at the time of its release. Let me tell you…this game was a HUGE impact in the horror community. HOLY. SHIT. It changed the way I looked at lockers and beds. I remember it being critically acclaimed (and rightfully so). It may have not been the most technical video game, but it certainly was a piece of art.

I remember commercials being shown everywhere. The trailer of beta Miles Upshur running and parkouring through Mount Massive while being chased by the tiny beta model of Chris Walker will forever be canonized as part my childhood. I remember specifically heading to the bathroom from my living room and my dad interrupting me to say “Hey! Check this out!” and then proceeding to play the trailer for my 12-year-old eyes. I was scared shitless.

Couple weeks later, Conan O'Brien featured Outlast in one of his segments of “Clueless Gamer” (yeah, my family and I used to watch Conan lol). I was very familiar with Slender and Amnesia, which were the 2 other games featured in this Halloween special, but this was the first time I REALLY got to check out Outlast.

Now, let me preface that during this time, internet culture was very interesting and even less safe than it is today. I had a ton of bad experiences on the internet during my childhood. But oddly (and embarrassingly), the emo/scene/horror/creepypasta culture was what brought me comfort amongst a sea of awful things you could find on the internet. It was probably unhealthy for my developing brain, but I indulged in a lot of angst that was presented with heavy gore and violence. And to be honest, looking at this kind of stuff at a young age helped me process a lot of my own personal shit that I experienced outside of the internet realm. (To be clear, I don't endorse this type of violence, and I don't endorse exploring the internet in the same way I did as a child—it was probably very unhealthy and I think it caused some early development issues.)

But nothing—and I mean NOTHING—scratched that itch more than the way Outlast did. I watched the finger cutting scene in Conan's “Clueless Gamer” and was fucking mortified. I was scared of the dark for weeks. But I remember spending that night in my bedroom looking at more Outlast content to get that cathartic fix to fill my emotional hole of…I don't know…morbid curiosity? I definitely felt shame at the time. I don't know. In recent years, I've been on this journey to process stuff I experienced during my childhood and I struggle to go about my middle-school/junior-high stage because…I don't know…puberty? Access to the internet? I once got bullied by a forum of adult men for posting fan art LMAO. I was 12 years old—I forgot what the fan art even was. ANYWAYS, yea. That was only one instance of my conglomeration of internet experiences. (Like many other peeps, I had to hide my gender & racial identity to preserve my sanity). Indulging in gore art was therapeutic and helped me release negative emotions in a non-harmful way. Horror-genre communities online have been mostly friendly and welcoming towards me. That's probably why I fell in love with Outlast as an art rather than a video game.

I wasn't in the fandom straight off the bat. I had other hyper fixations at times but I navigated through these other fixations with this personal “Outlast standard” where the art and fiction I consumed needed to be horror-themed, gorey, or angsty. And Outlast isn't solely to blame. I was into gore and angst before the game came out. It just so happened that it came out at such a perfect time in my life. (Horror made my queer self feel accepted)

This whole “Outlast standard” stuck with me throughout high school. Uh… this next bit of information may get a little personal. During my sophomore year, someone really important in my life passed away. Then I had this life-impacting thing happen during my junior year that changed how I perceived things forever (lol, this sounds so dramatic). I turned to art to help me process and yada yada… but y'know what really helped? You know what I turned to when I needed to “scratch the itch”? (I bet you'll never guess)

I finally considered myself a part of the Outlast fandom in 2018-2019. I was a high school junior/senior and I posted the Outlast-Outkast animation that got retweeted by Red Barrels. Had a lot of fun in the fandom during that time and it helped get my mind off of things. Also, I loved the fact that Waylon graduated from Berkeley. I was applying to colleges during this time and it made me romanticize Berkeley, lol. I ended up getting accepted. Had an awesome time. I recently graduated and got my Bachelor's. I'm very privileged and gracious for my experience. I spent a lot of grueling time and energy dedicated towards my education.

During my college years, a lot of the unprocessed shit from my childhood started resurfacing and it was becoming hard to navigate through life. I became really disconnected with people who were close to me. Art started to fall out of my life. Stuff happened. Got in touch with psychiatrists thanks to my college's free health services. I don't mean to downplay or normalize what happened, but I'll bring up that many college students deal with mental illness and depression (and this could be attributed to many things: moving away from family, student-life, financial pressure, pressure to secure jobs/internships, living alone for the first time, maturing into an adult, etc. etc.).

But I remember sitting alone in my studio apartment one weekend and started surfing Tumblr. I came across new Outlast fan art and it sparked my hyper fixation all over again. I re-read the comics and—OKAY THIS IS GONNA SOUND FUCKING RIDICULOUS—but I started jogging because Miles went on jogs LMAOOAKJDGHJAHKGFL. I finally picked up the pencil and started drawing again (after like…months) and drew Miles and Waylon flipping off Murkoff. And THAT was when I realized what the narratives of Outlast were actually about—FUCKIN' CAPITALISM AAUGGGHHH. MY LITTLE POOPOO BRAIN AT AGE 12 NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT. AND NOW THAT I'M AN ADULT—NOW THAT I CAN BLATANTLY SEE MYSELF AND MY PEERS AS VICTIMS/PRODUCTS OF CAPITALISM—CAN FINALLY FIND SO MUCH VALUE AND MEANING IN THIS GAME HHHRHRJGHKSDKFGLAJKDG SAY W H A T IM GONNA *explodes*

Then a year later, I started drawing more and more again. Trials' promotional marketing was becoming more prominent. I started posting my fan art on Tumblr. Then I made the fanimation (thank you Mr. Baichoo, you're so awesome, I will forever be a fan of yours) and now here I am. Still fixated on this silly little game for nearly 10 years. WHEW.

I FEEL LIKE A SHRIMP CHIP. Anyways, thanks. I much needed to get this off my chest.

Also, hey! Just wanted to say thanks for the friendly and welcoming interactions in this space. It feels so much safer and more comforting than previous internet experiences I've had. Since 2013, the fandom has evolved a lot. In my opinion, it has evolved for the better. The resurgence of new fans bring such refreshing perspectives and fields of knowledge that haven't been influenced by some of the harmful internet culture that I grew up in. So truly, many thanks to y'all for making the fandom space a nicer place (especially for such a heavy game). Also, what the heck, everyone in the fandom is seriously so talented and artistic

Uh… fan art time? (old stuff/sketches I haven’t posted)

But seriously if you got this far, thank you

[acceptingmyowncompany]

Because Who Can I Talk To...

This post has so much potential to be cringe a year from now. Shit even months from now. I need it out of my head though

A friend of mine joked about setting me up with her friend. We met but I didnt really make a move. Too shy. She's cute though. Nice, smart, witty. It became a bit that I thought was still funny despite nothing really coming of it.

We eventually followed each other on instagram, which is good but my friend isn't riffing the bit anymore. A mutual of ours is communicating with me more often than before. Energy is weird but I'm not trying to look into it. Come to find out she likes me and I can't help but feel like thats why my friend stopped riffing the bit and advocating for me/us.

Despite that, the girl and I are kind of... idk playing tennis. Maybe fishing?! Idk the proper analogy. We are posting things kind of trying to bait the other person into interacting with it. I shouldn't say we... EYE, 100% am and she did at least once. Eventually a real conversation starts between us and it's like... legit awesome. Like she's so cool, and we've been thru some similar shit and look at the world in a similar way. I make points and she responds basically finishing my thoughts. Im like wooow we have so much in common. It excites me in a way that I haven't been excited in a LONG time. I think I'm crushing on her now... I can't wait for her to come into town.

She comes into town and I get no sleep the night before. I'm running on fumes. I have no energy to talk to her, to be charming or funny. I'm just listening and yawning a lot. I got her cookies... didnt even present them forreal. She was here for a week and that was the only day I saw her. At this point I'm FUCKING SICK. It's another display of how my friend is no longer trying to help out because she didnt try to set me up with some hangouts. Doubts about her interest because if she was hoping to see me, again you'd think the friend would hit me about plans or invite me over. I dont take initiative. Don't want to be too thirsty. I hold my L and get kinda sad because I like the feeling. I like talking to her, but it's over...

Until... the day after she gets back home, she messages me randomly about One Piece. I'm hype af. She thanks me for cookies, I apologize for zombie. We're talking again. And talking a lot. We are in constant communication. We message everyday. It's not a constant flow but it's fairly steady. We go like this for like a month and some. She's my favorite notification. I look forward to her responses and suddenly they stop. Not all together. The frequency though. A few messages a day to one a day. Now the response coming a full day or two later. Which would be completely fine if like... I didnt see she's been active mad times or when I see her message elsewhere. I'm not mad, but it makes me think.

We aren't anything. She owes me nothing. I like talking to her. Do I like her? I don't have an answer. The level of bothered I am, would imply I do, but it could just be the engagement. The attention. The fact that she activates something in my brain that hasn't been safely activated in over a decade. I don't say this to minimize her impact. I genuinely think she's special. She told me some of her story and I just wanna protect her at all costs even though we're probably not that close. I think she's great but I also still don't know her. We have yet to find a comfortable real life flow. We have yet to establish any sort of chemistry. So it's like cool, yeah we can text and send paragraphs to each other, but can we hold a conversation. Can we go back and forth without prep time?! Until we can properly test those waters, on the phone or IRL then I can't fully say I like her. Just that I like messaging her.

The problem is... does she like me?! Does she like messaging me?! Did her life get busier?! Am I boring?! I don't know how she feels about it. I try to sneak in things in the convo to like indicate I think highly of her, but I get no read on that the other way around. My friend no longer asks about it, or riffs the bit. No convo about us. Its triggering. I was often left on unopened while my friend was texting the girl I liked right in front of me. Her excuse was "oh me and him aren't having deep convo so it's easy to message back. me and you are having more in-depth convo so it requires more thought out answers." The truth was, she was fucking him and they were both hiding it from me and thus TRAUMATIZED. She can do what she wants. She can have a guy in MD, or a guy in her DMs. Again, we aren't anything, but I'd hate to get my hopes up again, just to be being placed on the back burner while she's got other stuff going on. Shits embarrassing. It's easy to feel like a loser and shit.

And so I am at an impasse. I can't be emotional about this. I can't ask for more messages, but I do want more. I want to explore what we could be, even if it's just friends. Just so I can like know its just friends. I want to talk on the phone or play a game where we can use out voices to connect instead of seining one big message a day. How can I do that?! I want to let her know I think she's dope, and I have but she's just kinda been whatever about it. Maybe thats my answer I should probably take that as an answer. I'M JUST TIRED OF HAVING TO PLAY IT COOL. I want to talk about it with somebody that can help me. I wanna be excited about the potential. I wanna laugh with her and learn more about her. I want her to know I think she's cool and I wanna talk about the future together. I wanna do things to connect with her and show her I think she's cool. But then im overbearing. I'm thirsty. I'm doing too much. Scare her away. if she's got another dude she's talking to, im humiliating myself.

I basically wanna embrace that side of life. Intimacy and romance. Connection. I wanna show her my interest and feel her interest. The push and pull. It was cool when we were playing tennis. It was amazing to go back and forth. Idk what to do. I kinda wanna end the convo and she what'll happen. But what if I just hurt my own feelings. How do I pivot the convo we have right now?! I don't know. I've gone crazy and I hate it here lmao.

Anyways, this girls cool and pretty and I wanna get to known her better like talk more intimately and frequently but I don't know if I will or if she even cares to... but I just wish I could be blunt about this thought/feeling. Who know's what'll happen next.