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eligaxy · 3 years

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Wind

☆ℜ𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔭 : Venti x gn!Reader

☆𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 : near death experience, you’re confused asf about everything, bad writing cause i suck, spoilers for the we will be reunited quest!! And also for venti’s backstory, venti is serious for once (yes it’s a legitimate warning🤚)

☆𝔊𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 : Some angst, some fluff? Idk bye🤨

☆𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 : "It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask." (2.8k words)

♪𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰 : i’m an idiot simp, i did this in one sitting and half asleep, english isnt my first language BLA BLA IM SORRY FOR MY POOR WRITING BUT HAVE THIS

basically you don’t know if you can trust venti or not, head says no, heart screams yes

Also, I was listening to stormterror’s lair ost while writing it, just because its fucking amazing, you might wanna listen to it too

I’m nervous to post this?/&:! This is the second fic i’ve ever finished in my whole life

i love venti and he’s hot in his god outfit i don’t make the rules

KAY ENJOY <3

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

Saying you were exhausted would have been an understatement. After reuniting with your sibling, you had been frantically searching for clues about khaenri'ah and ways to Inazuma. With no luck, you couldn't find any traces of Dainsleif or of your twin. The ruins had been sealed and you had no idea what happened to the inverted statue or the corpse you had found there. Desperately, you clung into every little information you had, you would have turned every rock on this archon damned continent if you had to, which is what led you into those ruins near Guilli plains.

Walking along the destroyed buildings your eyes caught sight of a dandelion and you froze. You missed them so much, why couldn't they go back home with you? All you ever wanted was to be by their side why, why were they running away from you?

You remembered your travels, the moments you shared together, their protectiveness over you, the fondness in their eyes when you smiled at them. You remember the times you got hurt and healed one another with your now missing powers. You remember sleeping by their side and being grateful to the universe to let you keep your ray of sunshine everywhere with you. How ironic.

What had they meant 'once you reach the end of your journey' ? What does that even mean? Stupid twin, if they knew you were here the whole time, why hadn't they come to you? Why were they always leaving just when they were within your grasp? Why? Did they know how much you missed them and how much your heart broke when you finally saw them? Did they?

You only realized you were crying when a small gust of wind had your wet cheek react to the cold, breaking your train of thought. Wind.

The wind is everywhere, you think, free as a bird, always accompanying every citizen of this world, never truly alone. With this in mind, you resumed your exploring, slower this time.

A sigh escaped your mouth. You didn't want to admit it, but the wind did comfort you a little. Almost as if he was here. God of freedom and of the breeze, he was more a singer than a protector and you couldn't bear to think about him. Was it true? What Dain said... Did he destroy this nation? Was he the cause of the scenery that still haunted your nightmares up until 500 years later? Your brain simply couldn't accept that Venti, your Venti, you catch yourself thinking, could have made such an act of wrath. He was the epitome of freedom, why would he take the very thing he based all of his existence on from mere mortals? Barbatos simply couldn't be afraid of being overpowered, he didn't even care about power. All he wanted was freedom and happiness for his people. Surley this couldn't be right?

But then again, who were you to deny the wipe out of an entire nation? The gods did it. They were afraid that Celestia would be overthrown by the pride of humankind, the destruction of khaenri'ah by divine beings was a fact. There was no misunderstanding about this. That was the one thing you were sure of. So why did you feel like crying even more now?

The mere thought of a gentle soul such as Venti committing innocent people to an eternity of suffering didn't sit right with you. Even when his dearest friend Dvalin had turned against him, he didn't try to stop him, didn't even ask the dragon to save him. He healed and helped him, gave him a choice.

'What is freedom if demanded of you by a god?' was the same person that asked this question the same one who committed mass murder? Genocide?

Did the little wine-lover bard you had grown fond of destroy all hopes and light your kin had?

You remember that night when he freed Stanley from his burden, freed his and his friends' spirits. You had marveled at his action, in that instant he was a god, and he definitely hadn't struck you as a murderer. You remember that look of silent pain and grief in his eyes when he sang the tales of the nameless bard he had taken the appearance of. You knew he trusted you enough to share his story, something so personal, you could almost feel the war that took down the tyrant of Mond. Oh how much you cherished that evening, treating him to some well deserved dandelion wine afterwards, his favorite, and asking him to sing you more about the time where was nothing but the spirit of a breeze.

Your heart broke a little, remembering his rosy cheeks and drunk smile, you wish you could talk to him, ask him what happened. What did he do, was he really as dangerous as you had been told? If so, then why did you feel so good around him? Why did you feel like you could give hi-

You stopped walking upon seeing a ruin guard up ahead in the distance. You're so stupid, you think. Feeling this way is not gonna get you anywhere, especially with how the bard had been missing for a few weeks now. Ever since you had last seen your sibling.

Where was he, where was he wandering off to? You walk towards the disabled ruin guard, not really paying any mind to it, still thinking about the god you longed to meet with. If you could see him, what would you even say? Would he even answer your questions? Why did your stomach feel so light and funny when you thought about seeing him, why aren't you angrier?

You're almost at the killing machine's level now, so lost in your thought you don't notice the five other similar robots hidden behind a wall next to it. You notice them only when it's too late and you've already turned them on while thinking about examining them and collecting their serial numbers. When you hear the familiar tick of the mechanism turning on, you internally panic and think about running away only to calm down moments later and think to yourself that you can simply beat it and take what you came here for. Even if you are emotionally and physically tired, you can manage, you think.

That was before hearing five other consecutive ticks right after it, and all around you.

Turning around, your gaze falls upon the small army of field tillers. Fuck.

Paimon wasn't with you today, you had asked for some time alone which she hesitantly accepted, so you couldn't ask her to go fetch help. You would have been worried if you had all your capacities but with the state you were in, you were wondering how you were going to survive this fight. You were alone, none of your companions with you, and deeply weakened by the busy day you had and the few hours of sleep you had managed to steal away from the night. Was it today you would meet your doom, with all your questions and uncertainties unanswered?

You tried your best to fight with the strength you had left, but quickly grew desperate after what felt like hours of efforts to swing your blade and being able to only take one monster down out of the six. It didn't help that you got injured along the way, their blows becoming harder and harder to dodge. After being thrown on the grown for the third time, you understood you had at least two broken ribs and that your shaking legs would soon fail you as well.

Fear crept upon you, you would die here today, alone. Alone. You couldn't talk to your sibling after all, couldn't understand. You didn't even get to talk to him one last time. Him... You would die without the knowledge of the truth about your bard. You would die alone. You didn't want that, you couldn't look death straight in the eye.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

In Mondstadt, there was a musician, a weird singer everyone had heard about at least once. He lived off of his songs and was mostly known for having a great story-telling and being an alcoholic.

The number of people who knew the true nature of his identity were few and he was perfectly content with that. He didn't wish to be a god anymore, his gnosis had been taken away anyway and it's not like he had any power over the city of wind nowadays. Even if his people still worshipped him as Barbatos, it didn't sit right with him to be called a god anymore. It actually never did, he thinks to himself with a smile, he never really took any responsibilities that came with the divine title which is why he was so weak today. But it didn't matter to him, his smile turns into a soft giggle.

Sitting on a mill that was once born from his steps he looks fondly over the city he founded. Even if they were godless, the citizens were still thriving and free. He cared oh so very deeply about the place even if he rarely, if not never, showed the affection within his heart. He remembers the day he grew strong enough to dispel the storms over his actual Mondstadt, and made the weather gentle enough so that there was no need for fireplaces. Nowadays, he loves watching birds nest into the chimney tops and seeing them found their own home. It gave him a sense of belonging like no other, not above his people, but walking among them and watching them nest into this cocoon he created. He was proud of what happened to his land and would do it all over again if he had to.

Especially since it led to him meeting you. This thought doesn't catch him off guard, you often roamed around in his mind after all, and it's not like he didn't write at least three songs about you and your feat, your smile, your courage...

Ah there he goes again, rambling about you in a whisper. He turns around to the statue of him his people erected in his honor, chuckling at how they never made the connection with his signature braids. His, but not really his, since he had stolen this form from someone who was much more deserving of this power than him. Seeing his friend being honored with the statues of the seven around the land made him happy, he hoped that it was a good enough thank you gift in return for everything that the bard whom he couldn't even remember the name of anymore did for him.

Upon gazing at the statue, he remembered telling you of his long gone friend. It was the first time he had talked about him to someone else, he didn't even mention it to Venessa, she who made him believe in himself again. He could ask himself why, but he simply knew that you had something different, more than meets the eye. Perhaps it was because you weren't from Teyvat, or perhaps it was just you being as simple as your natural self but he was simply and utterly captivated by your being. You inspired him to no end, at first he thought it was because he had never met someone like you and he loved new things! But as time grew and he got to know you, he understood quickly the meaning and depth of his passions. He thought of it with a light chuckle, content with your presence alone. He really did need and want you around.

So why did he purposely avoid you like the plague?

The wind had brought to his ears that you had met with Dainsleif.

And your twin.

His first reaction was to search for you, talk to you, he wanted to be here to know what happened! You had searched so long, he couldn't contain himself, still listening to what the wind told him, he started running with excitement but... But wait, Dainsleif was... He told you what?

Oh.

So you heard about Khaenri'ah. He had stopped dead in his tracks and turned back, only sending a warm current of wind your way, hugging you from afar.

He wasn't ready to talk about this yet, not ready to face you and absolutely not ready to answer your questions. He was a coward, he thought, running away like that but what else could he do, really. It was only natural for him to be as uncatchable as air.

A sorry excuse to avoid the fact that even if his past had marvelous story like the one of the nameless bard, it also had its share of darkness, something he wasn't ready to dive back into. Especially not now when your arrival has been shaking this world up like it hasn't been since at least 500 years.

But oh, how he longed to see your face or to hear your voice. So he asked a breeze to report to him what you were up to, and where you were. Just in case! he tells himself, what if you needed help ehe? But he knows you're competent and you won't need the help of a weakling coward like him anytime soon. Or so he thought.

Because when the breeze only gives him a few words back, his blood runs cold.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

As you murmured these words in your desperate state, not really for anyone but yourself as a last resort, a prayer of some sort, you tried to stand by leaning yourself on your sword and failing miserably. You didn't dare look up as you heard the loud footsteps of the metal giants coming your way. It was over, and you barely managed to accept it.

As you rested your forehead against the cold handle of your sword, you closed your eyes, tears starting to make their ways out of your closed eyelids. All you could feel was remorse.

A soft breeze moved your hair slightly and your chest felt like a black hole had taken place where your heart used to be, regretting to not have been able to meet him under the tree at Windrise one last time.

The breeze quickly grew stronger, until it felt unnatural and you looked up from the ground, only to close your eyes again immediately when you realized the wind was too powerful for you to keep them open. If you had struggled to see though, you would have been blinded by the white light that soon illuminated the whole ruins. You didn't have enough time to register the situation when you felt a hand being laid atop your shoulder, snaking around your collarbones and pulling you back into... nothing? Another arm circled your weak form and a voice you immediately recognized said

"I've dealt with things worse than you, now crumble."

You realized that if you couldn't feel a chest behind you while still being embraced by his arms, it was because he was floating above you, and not standing behind you. A look in his direction confirmed your suspicions but what stunned you wasn't the fact that he was flying, but the attire he wore. Barely covering his body, a white set made of materials that seemed like clouds and liquid gold contrasted perfectly with his regular green clothes. His hair was glowing green and his eyes that were focused on the ruin guards up ahead had a marvelous shine that you had never seen before. He had that same aura he did the night he freed Stanley, but there was also something different about the way his hands gripped you a little too tightly or the way his voice sounded.

"Venti.." You muttered his name, relief and affection flooding you all at once, in his presence you felt as if nothing bad could happen to you. How foolish could you be, just a few hours ago you were speculating wether or not he had wiped out an entire civilisation and now here you were, being saved by him and feeling safer than you had in months.

"Close your eyes, I don't want give you a headache" he said, slowly floating legs first towards the ground. His unusually serious voice surprised you (and him) but you did as he told you. Letting go of your sword and leaning back into him, you let him deal with the monsters ahead of you.

"It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask."

Being protected by a god really didn't feel that bad. Especially when you were in love with said god.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Thank you so much for reading whatever this is until the end :’)

Don’t hesitate to comment or reblog, tysm <3

Ps: venti loves u and so do i do pls take care of urself mwah

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact #genshin impact angst #genshin impact scenario #venti x reader #venti x traveler #venti x lumine #venti x aether #el writes♡

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acti-veg · 3 years

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i feel conflicted but ive been considering buying a puppy. the reason is im mentally ill & extremely lonely and honestly i really need someone to love and to love me back & it sounds bad but i fostered a rescue dog before and he was lovely but i feel like there was no bond there, he was happy to be with me but just as happy to be with a stranger. and often dogs from rescues have behavioural needs

2) & ofc they deserve to be loved & cared for but idk if I could take on additional stress of a dog like that or be competent enough to know how to soothe them if for example they were aggressive around other dogs. & i just feel i would be more likely to have a stronger bond with a dog when i have them from a baby. i feel like having a dog to love would help keep me from being suicidal. i guess it’d be like having a therapy dog in a way. 3) i am severely depressed but i would never neglect an animal but obviously the conflict is coming from considering buying from a breeder to fill an emotional need of mine rather than adopting. it feels selfish but i honestly feel like this could help me stay alive.. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with all this, anon. Nobody else can really tell you how to feel about this, or judge what you do or don’t need to do to take care of yourself. That said, I do just want to give you some information so to go on, so that you can make an informed decision according to your own ethics. There is no real guarantee of how a dog will respond to you on the basis of whether they came from a breeder or a rescue centre, or if they’re young or old. I’ve developed amazing bonds with the animals I’ve cared for over years, and they were all adults when they came to me - that is not a special thing about me, either, that’s a very common experience. I don’t think that buying a puppy really guarantees a better relationship, or even makes it more likely. I feel like the most grateful and loving animals I’ve known are ones that have come from a bad situation and are palpably glad to be in a better one now. That is the amazing thing about dogs, they have this enormous capacity for love and trust even after enduring horrible things at the hands of other humanms, so long as we’re willing to show them patience and give them the time to trust and bond with us. I would also point out that a breeder is not going to be able to give you a more accurate picture of a dog’s future behaiour than a professional in a rescue centre can. The staff are usually more experienced, more qualified, and have had real time to observe a dog as an adult who has already developed their personality. They can give you an accurate picture of what a dog is really like, with no financial incentive to make you buy something from them. A good rescue centre will be able to tell you what their temperant is like, how they are with others dogs, people, children etc. far better than any breeder could about a puppy. Dogs in rescue centres also don’t all have behavioural problems, in fact a great many are highly socialised, some are puppies and very young dogs but many have been in a family home before and have already been trained when you get them. There is, generally speaking, much less know-how and energy required for an adult, already trained dog, than a puppy and all the things that go into getting them socialised and properly trained to live with you. The decision to buy from a breeder in this scenario is selfish in the sense that it’s a decision made for yourself, but that doesn’t make it wrong that you are thinking about it, it’s just at attempt to take care of yourself and take steps to improve your own life, and there is nothing wrong with that. It just may be the case that this is a bit of an unnecessary dilemma - I think you can get everything you want in a companion, a dog who can make your life better, while also making a rescued animal’s life better. You do what you feel you need to do here, only you know your situation and your needs, I just wouldn’t want you to do that on the basis of assumptions that may not be true. Have a think about it, and in the meantime I’d advise you to go to local rescue centers and just have a look around, talk to the staff, see what they can offer and what they have to say. If you still feel like you need to buy rather than adopt at that point then at least you’d be doing it with all the facts and having exhausted the alternatives.

#ask #vegan #rescue #animal rescue #dogs #adoption

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prose-for-hire · 3 years

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Be Yourself

Platonic coming out fic w/ Wesley, Cordy and Gunn x agender!reader❤

Request: I see your requests are open, im so excited to see what comes in! I was wondering if you could do a fic where an agender (with they/them pronouns) reader comes out to Wesley after he becomes the boss in season two of Angel? And he helps them come out to Cordy and Gunn? Have a great day, love your writing!

Requested by: @alltheangstmygifttoyou

Warning: All characters are accepting but some understand more than others, reader ambiguously discusses food (not sure if it needs a warning but I like to be safe in case), anxiety around coming out, reader doesn’t have close family.

A/N: I hope this is what you wanted, love. I so wanted to get this right for you so if any of this doesn’t sit quite right, message me and I’ll change it 💖

You had taken some time off from your job at Angel Investigations. The others thought it was because of Angel’s recent departure, you had been friendly with him as you were with pretty much everyone. But it wasn’t that. The reason you had taken yourself away was to try and figure some stuff out. There just hadn’t been enough time to be able to focus on yourself what with the demons constantly taking up all of your attention.

They had really missed you. Especially now that Angel had gone off on his own. They needed you even more than ever but you explained how much you needed this time. They of course understood, although the way their faces all lit up when you returned that morning showed that they had wanted you back almost the instant you had stepped out of the door a couple of weeks ago.

You greeted the others but made your way straight to Wes. You had to do this and now or you were worried you may never take the chance again. You had finally become settled here and you wanted to include these people into your life fully by explaining what had been spinning around your head lately. You had to be yourself, you wanted them to know everything about you. Including your gender identity.

“Y/n! It’s nice to see you, I’m pleased that you’re-” Wesley began but your mouth blurted out your words before he could even finish his sentence.

“Wes, I need to speak to you. In your office… please?”

“Of course” He gestured with his arm for you to enter and followed you inside the room.

You were nervous as you sat down. More so than you thought you might be. You’re happy with who you are after a lot of soul-searching, so you weren’t entirely sure why your body appeared to be filled almost to maximum capacity with apprehension.

Perhaps it was because you didn’t have any family to come out to, in fact you saw the people in this office as your family. This could be why there felt like there was so much pressure descending on you along with Wesley’s measured gaze.

You didn’t wait to sit and stew in this unusual mix of nerves and happiness you felt at the fact you had finally found a description of gender that fit for you. You went straight into explaining, before he even needed to prompt you. You trusted Wesley a great deal, he had been your friend before you moved to LA and so it was important to you that you spoke to him first.

“Uh, so I’ve been thinking and… I’ve decided that I want to go by they/them pronouns” You paused only briefly, not yet looking up until your finished your next sentence, “I’m agender and I think I feel really good about it” Your smile had grown as you explained and you noticed that Wesley’s had too. He nodded in understanding at your words and rested a hand over yours from across the desk. It was a show of unquestioning support.

He appeared proud almost. That you trusted him, that you were more comfortable in yourself. In who you are. And especially so that you had come to him first. That you wanted to be yourself with him. Wesley was very understanding. More so than you had actually expected. He was very well-read and immediately made the point to make you feel at ease and promise that this is how he would ‘endeavour to refer to you’ forever more. You knew he would get it, that moment of doubt had been an imaginary barrier to your happiness that you had created in your own mind.

It was a big deal to you and you were growing in confidence with every second since you had told Wesley about being agender. You didn’t think you had smiled this much in such a long time and you had a really in depth discussion with Wesley about how you felt about gender and how you had gotten to this point. It was such a release and so nice to be able to talk about it out loud to someone, it only confirmed to you how much this meant to you. How affirming it was to have another person not treat you with contempt but instead love for exactly who you are.

You then explained that you wished to tell the others as well. You wanted to be yourself with them. You wanted to include them more than anything, because this was so important to you. To be who you are. To use the pronouns that best fit you.

With Wesley’s help, you explained everything to the others. Cordelia was slightly less clued into identities that weren’t her own and so it took a little re-explaining and answering questions but you could see as soon as it appeared to click in her mind that she was happy for you. And wanted to get everything right for you. She launched into hugging you after you finished talking and told she could tell how much this meant to you which meant that it was super important to her as well.

Gunn, although not entirely used to it yet, could tell how important this was by your face before you had started to speak. He nodded and listened very carefully and after you finished, he walked up to you and patted you on the back comfortingly. He suggested, in part to demonstrate that he of course still saw you as one of his closest friend, that you should all go to your favourite restaurant. You looked a little embarrassed at the hugs and the idea of a celebration but as soon as Gunn decided to offer to pay for the meal you had never accepted an invitation fast enough.

He chuckled at how quickly you agreed as did Wesley as he moved to stand close to you again. You were so grateful to have such a caring group of people around you. Especially Wesley, you knew that although being honest and discussing your identity and pronouns was inevitable, you wouldn’t have felt half as sure of yourself if you hadn’t had Wes there supporting you. He had been like a comfort blanket in a way and you knew you would have to find a way to thank him.

You all happily started to shrug on your jackets as you discussed with Cordelia what you were planning on ordering from the restaurant (and recommending to Cordelia some items you knew she would love). The atmosphere was mostly relief as well as a swell of love you felt surrounding you. Your friends were so important to you, you were so pleased you didn’t have to even consider that your admittance could have turned out badly.

As the four of you stepped into the cool air of the night, you continued to list what appeared to be every item on the menu. Gunn’s face dropped as he realised his treating everyone might turn out to really damage his pockets. At his expression, Wes chuckled at his friend and a smile began to widen on his face as you appeared to still be speaking about different food items.

“You can’t back down now, Gunn, look how excited they are” Wesley gestured to you fondly as you continued to list everything you had ever wanted to try from that restaurant. You paused only slightly from your enthused discussion with Cordelia about the several side dishes you had decided you had to split between you. It was the first time you had ever heard anyone refer to you by the pronouns you preferred. The only way you could describe it was pure elation. It just felt right.

You felt a weight lift off of your shoulders the closer to the restaurant you walked. Now, you truly could just be yourself. With your little family you were sure to have a fun evening where you could be comfortably authentic without anything else plaguing your mind.

And you did manage to relax. That was, until a demon unexpectedly dropped by for a bite…

#angel the series #angel the series imagine #wesley wyndam pryce #Cordelia Chase #Charles Gunn #Gunn x reader #Wesley wyndam pryce x reader #Cordelia chase x reader #platonic fic #btvs #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #coming out #coming out fic #agender #agender reader #btvs x reader #btvs imagine #btvs x you

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in-decisivo · 3 years

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finally, another year for new chances i really want to do something great for myself 2020 could be it but then a lot had happened and the local government is not doing any substantial plans to ease and eradicate this virus. Im not here to blame the government but they share half of what everyone struggled over for.

I was one of the lucky ones, still employed living under the roof i can say complete and healthy family up to the extended family members no one I knew personally died hopefully theres none at all. struggling to pay bills and other monetary responsibilities for quite sometime, struggled with the new normal requirements, but we get by i get by until we were caught up in this day. the way i see it theres no nothing yet no light were nowhere near at the end of this tunnel but im hopeful, i need to be hopeful somehow.

this year has bestes my mental capacity it was whack i was so angry i was so angry that i clench my teeth so hard it would fall out, bang every gate bigger than me, literally i couldnt sleep at night because the amount of anxiety and pressure is so tremendous, im drowning in it. i almost admitted myself to seek professional help but didnt managed to push thru but i wish i could i really want to know.

in solidarity, i realized i was running away with my issues, i never once got in contact with my monsters so i go out and try to avoid them until its okay again to go in. i really anchored my mindset with doing various activities that involves myself being outside so i get to live another happy day but i was stuck inside so here i am bombarded with a lot of nasty monsters i tries to kept hidden.

i also got into watching boys love series, gained new perspective on how i view and think things through, i think i got more empathetic and understanding, as much as i hate it i was resilient, will power is still intact even when i thought im losing myself.

but i was blessed with people who loves me cares for me, it was not hard but i did pull thru sometimes i track my mood record to see how i got mad and what triggers it right now i forgot when was the last time i had a major breakdown. im anticipating when will that manifest again i have this mentality that if i keep keeping feelings especially of anger bottled up it will explode on my face and just be as destructive as a volcano.

when i started seeing my friends outside, i knew that im going to be okay somehow l. extroverts like me felt like it was a prison not being to go out normally i was really deviant and not welcoming on that part of this entire quarantine it felt like a major part of my personality was kust going out, being outside socializing, errands, with friends etc.

i never wouldve made out this year alive without the love of my life. definitely the best part of this year if i must say. for this shitty ass year its not so bad after all. thank you for everything im grateful i get to spend this year with you.

i really dont want to wish for things but for this #OustDuterte

HAPPY NEW YEAR 🎉✨

#personal #newyear #yearender

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moonlightjeno · 4 years

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so like when youre free maybe you could do roommates!au + enemies to lovers + “you have the emotional capacity of a brick.” from the prompt list with im-not-even-gonna-say-his-name-because-you-know-it? hopefully with a happy ending idk maybe theyve both been burying their feelings for some time? dont push yourself and you dont have to do it if you dont want to 🥰 ly so much bubs ❤❤

asdfghj im so so so sorry this took me ages to actually write !! i do hope you like it’s seriously like just pure fluff and some small tiny angst but basically I want a jeno after this and you know why.

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬: [roomate!au] + [enemies to lovers] + [“you have the emotional capacity of a brikc”]

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: f l u f f and full on crackheads. this is a mess

creds to @mozartwasajungkookstan ,, ty for the help on how to start this!

Having a roommate or really lack thereof was nothing like the movies, especially when lee jeno was involved. It’s not like you saw him often, he seemed to spend most of his time either in his room the only sound coming either grunts or the click click of the video game controller that he seemed to be attached to dearly. You were almost sure he talked more to the tv screen in his room and his phone was six other voices would at times come through, seeping through the door.

When your old roommate had suggested you move in with jeno, you had initially agreed. From what you’d heard from her he wouldn’t get much in your way, loved animals so wouldn’t mind you bringing your cat and he was cute. Jeno was the epitome of a perfect roommate according to the paper in front of you and Jaemin who’d had to leave you and therefore make you move because of a modeling gig he’d been presented halfway across the world. The boy at least had shown you pictures of the boy who you’d be spending the rest of the year with and when you’d first seen them you couldn’t deny that he was easy on the eye. The pictures that jaemin had shown you had done him no justice, had been your first thought when you’d the boy who’s black hair had been pushed back, clothes clinging to his body from sweat, a result of what you had later learned was from a late dance practice you had been stunned. The initial stun of his beauty quickly faded the moment he opened his mouth only to close it back up again, and turn around leaving you in the entrance hall.

The relationship between the two of you didn’t grow much from the initial encounter. It seemed that jeno would either spend too much time outside and come back to your apartment marks left along his neck where he would maybe wave a hi to you, and if it was a good day wouldn’t complain about you taking up most of the space in the living room. On your defense, he never used it either way. At least that’s what you thought, it had never occurred to you that the boy was to shy to disturb you, or that anytime he would come in the living room only to find you concentrated, most of the time scribbling over papers across the desk that he didn’t want to bother you. Especially when you looked kinda cute, all concentrated on whatever it is you were working on, he never asked never dared to.

Three months into the rooming and it seemed that you had traded the boy you loved and had grown to be one of your closest friends for a stone-cold dark-haired boy. Jaemin was a foil to jeno in every way possible that the english dictionary could come up with. Where jaemin would greet you by the door almost every day, and was ready to give you a hug and talk about your day to no end jeno wouldn’t. The most jeno would do was tell you what the weather was outside on the occasion you went out to get the groceries, but in the times of a global pandemic, those were few. No relationship seemed to blossom, not that either of you put much effort into making any sort of conversation, the most you would get out of jeno were vague nods or “mmhhhmmm” that always had you questioning if he was agreeing or disagreeing with you. It had seemed to become a sort of talent to be able to distinguish between the different noises that jeno would make, most of them when you were involved in the speech were negative. That is what one would gather from the low tone that would come from grunts, half of the time it was jeno not every really knowing what to say on the subject of the human body and it’s many muscles, he was a dance major he didn’t know.

Five months and quarantine hits your city. It’s during moments in quarantine that you are grateful for it and the organized chaos it brings with it in the apartment. Well peace is you considered music blasting through the household as jeno practiced his dance and choreographed new routines while zooming with his even louder group of friends. The pumping music though made up because when you would see jeno a smile or the ghost of one would grace his features, and you two would at times, very small times would make conversation about the weather. Talking about the weather had truly just become a joke, as neither you or jeno could actually leave the apartment. Nevertheless, jeno never failed to remind you when it was going to rain, it was both sweet and slightly annoying you couldn’t quite decide. It was on rare days, when you would get back from a daily grocery shop run you would find dinner prepared. Too much of your surprise it had been edible the last two times he has cooked, and though not much conversation flowed between the two of you it seemed this hate to hate relationship had become a more of acquaintances to acquaintances. It was progress, and you couldn’t help but smile at it.

There were times when you looked at him, times when you two though wouldn’t talk to each other but would decide that on that night you would maybe attempt to get along better. These scenarios tended to end up happening from the constant nagging that jaemin put you both through, a constant “just talk” and “i swear they aren’t as bad as you think” and you couldn’t forget his most recent one that drove you nuts to no end “are you sure you don’t just you know like him?”. The phone conversation tended to end with a beep the second those words left his mouth, only for jaemin to text you about it continually. You were happy when that jaemin lived so far away in those moments if not you were sure he would have died either from you or jeno. It was one of the rare things you two agreed on.

“So… what movie do you wanna watch?” you posed the question, not expecting much of an answer apart from maybe a shrug or a complaint on why were the two of you doing this again.

“Ummm, are you good with avatar? I haven’t watched it in a while and the sequel is supposed to come out” the suggestion left you gaping at him, eyes wide at the fact he had directed more than five words to you.

“Hold up” the awe in your voice was very much present which caused jeno to turn around and look at you, “did you just actually give me a sentence?” you couldn’t help the smile that blossomed on your lips and it only grows when you see jeno, biting his lip a small attempt to stop his smile from showing.

“And…” you move closer to him, sitting in front of him one hand pointing slightly at his lips, “are you smiling?” you can’t help the laughter that leaves your lips, and soon jeno has joined you. Though he stops quickly the moment you see him looking at you, a genuine smile on his face.

“Whatever. Just play the movie” he grunts, shifting his boy to face the tv and hugging your cat next to him. If it weren’t for the fact that you were almost sure you’re cat loved jeno more than he loved you, even if jeno was allergic to them you would have tried to rob him back. But this was the most you’d gotten out of jeno and you sure as hell wasn’t about to ruin it.

“I’m on it, i’m on it” you mumble, as you search through your disney+ account expecting to find the last few shows and movies you’d been binge-watching cars a childhood favorite of yours right at the top and avatar which at this point you almost thought you watched religiously right next to it. The moment the screen showed Cars, you heard a cough from beside you. Your glare on jeno made him look at you slightly eyes narrowing before he chuckled, rolling his eyes.

“Why is Cars on here?” the question seemed to mock you and you only smiled.

“Nostalgia. Why?” the movie brought up the fun and happy memories from when you were younger, you had watched it so many times the dvd had broken.

“So it’s not because it’s just a bad movie and you wanted to make fun of it?” and just like that, you’re ready to fight jeno, even if the way his hair fell slightly across his eyes from not being cut in months, and the way is he moved just slightly you could see the muscles shift from beneath his white shirt.

“Are you mocking Cars?”

“Maybe. It has no emotional value” is his response, followed by a shrug as he turns again to face the tv eyes darting from the tv to you from his side-eye. Oh that’s it. You think bitterly before grabbing the pillow behind you and hitting jeno full face, your power yell leaving your lips. The thud the pillow makes as it collides with jeno’s face and the yelp that leaves his lips and you smile.

“The fuck was that for?” he’s looking at you again, arms crossed against his chest, your cat no longer in sight.

“Because you” the emphasis on the word is caused by another hit in the shoulder, “have the emotional capacity of a brick.” jeno’s face is the only answer you need before you settle back into the couch, a proud grin adorning your face, until you are pulled by the waist a shriek leaving your lips. In some way you can’t fully understand you are now sitting on jeno’s lap, his face only centimeters from yours, and you can see the light specks of gold that swirl in his dark eyes.

“No” the word is a whisper, and he moves closer to you, “i” you can feel his hands on your waist holding you in place “don’t” the movement is too fast for you too process but one moment your breaths are mixing and a noise you can’t place is in the background, and the next he’s kissing you.

kissing jeno like everything related to jeno is nothing like you expected but everything you wanted. It’s slow and warm, and your hands come up behind his neck playing with the loose strands of hair. Kissing jeno is a new feeling, a way of conveying emotions when words between you two have always failed, and maybe just maybe it’s a confession because when you pull apart foreheads touching each other love-struck smiles on both of your faces you realize jeno isn’t that bad.

“See?” a small peck to the lips, “my emotional capacity is beyond your reach” a grin replaces the small smile, “and i like you” another kiss, this time to the corner of your mouth and you thank the dark lights in the room from hiding the warmth from your cheeks. A small hmmm leaves your lips in response before you kiss him again, “i guess i like you too”

#neowriters #dreamwritersnet #nct x reader #jeno x reader #Luna Writes #lee jeno #jeno nct #jeno imagines #jeno scenerios #fanfic #lee jeno imagines #lee jeno scenerios #jeno scenerio

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tavi-hayes · 4 years

Text

challenge five ~ a night to remember

((this is longgg (12k) please please please ignore the spelling/grammar errors. also this is the best i could do when it comes to writing, i’m sorry. big thanks to all the lovely people who did rps with me. pia @brookelynnsanders and ana @itzelbm-oc you two are wonderful, i can’t believe i got to be a part of a britzel rp! chris @leanarg my hero, thank you for fixing tavi’s dress and helping me with a specific part of this fic, i seriously wouldn’t have been able to do it without you, and also thank you for that fun rp! and finally anna @hugo-stanton thank you for the nice rps, you always bring a smile to my face! finally to anyone who is going to read this, enjoyyyy!))

The reflection in the mirror is staring back at me. It’s weird seeing myself with straightened hair instead of curls. It had taken my maids over an hour to create this hairdo, working with two hair straighteners at the same time.

I reach up a hand to touch it, but Carla appears out of nowhere and she slaps my hand away. “Do not touch your hair,” her voice is firm, but the usual sharp sting is not there right now. That’s a first. “Your sweaty hands will ruin all of our hard work.” She pushes a towel into my hands, ordering me to dry them. I quickly and quietly do as she says. My hands aren’t even that sweaty.

I place the towel on the sink and look back into the mirror again. This dress is unreal, hugging my body in all the right places. It makes me look elegant yet fierce and maybe even a little sexy, but of course it’s still appropriate for a ball.

My only problem with this dress is the colour: white. Prior to the ball, we’re supposed to attend a dinner and that may be the biggest obstacle of all. If I spill even a tiny bit of food on myself, the beautiful and soft fabric of my dress will be ruined.

A knock on the door startles all three of us. My maids exchange a look I can’t quite place. Carla grabs me by my elbow and turns me around so I’m facing her. She quickly looks me up and down with a critical look in her eyes. “Don’t clasp her hands together during the photo moment. It will look like your protecting your… you know.”

That is something I never thought I would hear her say. But based on her stern facial expression and the earnest tone in her voice, I can tell that she isn’t joking. I quickly unclasp my hands and let my arms hang besides my body instead. Carla gives me a nod, “better.” She pushes me towards the door at the same exact moment Willa opens it.

“Hello,” someone says in a deep voice I don’t recognize, “I’m here to escort Lady Octavia.”

I need an escort now?

I step into the doorway and the unknown man makes me a little bow. He seems to be around my age so that’s kind of a relief. At least I’m not accompanied by some weird older creep.

His eyes really stand out, they’re a dark shade of brown with a little sparkle in them. They remind me of Bambi’s eyes.

As a way of greeting, I curtsy. But it doesn’t go as smoothly as I had hoped, given that it’s a skill I still hadn’t mastered. The eyes of my maids are burning in my back, I will definitely hear about this later.

The guy offers me his arm and I gladly take, eager to get away from Willa and Carla because let’s be honest they could scold me for that poor attempt of a curtsy right now.

When I look back at them, for the first time I think I might see a positive emotion on their faces. Could they be proud of me? Or maybe they’re just happy to see me gone for one evening? It’s probably the second option.

If someone had told me 6 months that I would be attending a ball in the palace, I would have called them crazy. But now here I am and it’s happening. Life can be very unexpected.

I wonder if my family would even recognize me if they could see me now. Right now I look nothing like the Tavi from back home. She only ever wore band tees and jeans, earphones in during most of the day. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s just that the difference between that Tavi and the one here in the palace is remarkable. The one here, me, looks presentable and put together. She wears dresses and heels and she spends most of her time in the library, reading law books. But it isn’t just my appearance that changed, it’s the inside as well. I have learned that not everyone in the higher castes is the same; that my family and friends mean the absolute world to me and I miss them terribly; and most importantly that it’s okay to talk about the shit in my past, because there are people willing to listen.

“Lady Octavia?”

“Yes,” I say, suddenly realizing we’ve almost reached the dining hall. All the other girls are already here, waiting for the doors to open. I turn to Bambi who has a content look on his face. I let go of his arm. Now that we’re just waiting, there is no need to hold on to him. “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name?”

“It’s Jakob Condle,” the smile on his face reaches his eyes. I don’t know what to say in return so I just nod. Thankfully someone calls out to him, saving me from this awkward moment. He excuses himself before he walks a little further down the line of people.

I sigh in relief, grateful for his chatter to be directed at someone else for the time being. He is the first palace staff member, or whatever his function here is, that I’ve met who talks this much. Not that I’ve met that many of them, but I thought they would only give you necessary and clear instructions, like my maids did. But okay, maybe he just needed someone to listen to him.

“How are you tonight?”

I recognize the voice immediately, it belongs to someone who I enjoy talking to. I turn in the direction of the speaker. “Oh hello,” I return the smile Hugo is giving me. “I'm alright thank you. What about you? Excited for the ball?”

“I'm mostly okay and mostly excited. Are you ready for it?”

“I think so, I don't really know what to expect.” Now that he’s glancing down the hall, I have the perfect opportunity to look at him without him noticing. Hugo is looking very good, all dressed up like this. Very charming and …

I catch myself: Tavi! Friends remember?

“You look nice by the way.” That’s something one friend can say to another, right?

When he looks back to me, there is a little blush on his face. Did I say the wrong thing? I didn’t mean to make him uncomfortable. “The dress you picked is lovely.” His smile is a bit different from the one I remember so well.

I narrow my eyes a little, I can’t quite put my finger on what the actual difference is. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing!” he says that so quickly that I start doubting whether that’s true. Speaking from my own experiences, I know that saying nothing doesn’t always mean nothing. “Sorry, it's just been a long day.”

“You know you can talk to me, right?” That is the very least I could offer. Especially after he had listened to me rambling about my dad and everything coming with that. “If you want to of course.”

This time, he gives me his normal smile. “It's just that I actually wanted to see if you would want to dance with me later. Only if you want to of course.”

I’m surprised by that, I hadn’t thought anyone would want to dance with me. And why is he asking me this now? He could’ve waited till the actual ball was starting. I don’t mind though, at least now I have something to look forward to. I chuckle softly, “don't be silly, of course I'd want to dance with you.”

If there is anyone I would want to be a witness of my poor dancing skills, it’d be Hugo.

As friends of course.

“I'd love that. Thank you.”

“There is absolutely no need to thank me.” As if I would ever say no to him. But I still get the feeling like something is wrong. I put my hand gently on his arm, “are you sure you're okay?”

“Yeah, I've never been better.” The smile on his face grows bigger and bigger. “I'm just looking forward to tonight.”

A smile appears on my own face, “I'm glad to hear that. Are you a good dancer?”

“I might accidentally step on your foot, full disclosure.”

This dance is going to be great then since my own dancing capacities are very limited. Just the idea of it makes me chuckle. “I can't promise I won't do the same thing to you.”

“I don't mind,” he shrugs. “If anyone's going to step on my feet I'm glad it's you.”

Is that a compliment? A smile automatically appears on my face. “That's what you're saying now.”

“Then you can ask me after too.” The smile on his face widens.

A hush falls over the crowd, piquing my interest. But I just can’t stop looking at Hugo and his beautiful smile.

Eventually my curiosity gets the better of me and I turn around to find out what caused the sudden silence. Oh. It’s the prince with an unknown woman by his side. I had overheard my maids talking about international royals coming to visit for the ball, so maybe this woman is one of them?

Now what is he doing? Is he laughing? I didn’t know he was capable of that.

And then, a whisper near my ear. “I'll see you later?”

“Of course,” I say as quietly as possible. Whispering is also not one of the things I’m good at and I obviously don’t want to steal any attention away from precious prince Arin.

I shift my gaze to see Hugo back away. He smiles one more time at me before he turns around.

A new presence appears at my side and I turn my head to see who it is. Oh. It’s the guy who’s supposed to escort me, Jakob aka Bambi. He gives me a smile, but it just isn’t the same as Hugo’s. I force myself to smile back as a way of greeting.

He offers his arm again. As I take it, I notice that everyone around us is already in formation. The doors open and one by one us girls are escorted into the dining room.

The first thing I notice are the different tables. We used to be seated on round tables, all spread out in front of the royal table. But now there are 2 rectangular tables facing each other, creating 90 degree angles with the ends of the royal table.

Jakob leads me to my place. It’s almost at the end of the right table, for which I’m glad. I’m almost as far away from the eyes of the important people in this room. So if I make a fool of myself, or spill food on my dress, the only people noticing would be the 2 girls sitting beside me.

I let go of Jakob’s arm, but when I reach for my chair he beats me to it, pulling it away from the table. I mumble a thank you to him, knowing that he probably means well. But still, I’m perfectly capable of letting myself sit down on a chair.

He gives me a quick nod before he disappears.

A couple of minutes later, Brooke appears out of nowhere. “Hey girl.”

“Hi hi. I’m glad to be sitting next to you again.” I truly mean it, there is no better company than Brooke.

“As if they could rip us apart,” she winks as she sits down on the chair on my right.

Well technically they could. “It would be a crime if they did that.” We’ve been mealtime buddies since the beginning. If we ever got different seating assignments and Brooke would no longer be sitting next to me, that would make one quiet meal. I wouldn’t have anyone to talk to.

Once all of us have been seated, the international royals enter the room followed by the Illéan ones. My eyes fall on Hugo. I simply can’t help myself. But who is that girl by his side? Could that be the sister he spoke of? But they look nothing alike, I feel slightly confused.

I decide to avert my gaze and focus on who else enters the room. These royals really know how to dress up for events like these. All of their outfits suit them so well.

Then there comes the prince. The one we were all supposed to fall in love with. Safe to say that didn’t happen to me. I feel like during that awful paintball date we settled into a mutual feeling of dislike. Something could probably be done to fix it, but I hadn’t felt like putting my time and energy into that. And neither had he, to be honest. We hadn’t spoken since that date.

I don’t understand why I haven’t been eliminated yet, he could simply tell me to leave and I’d be gone.

But for the time being I’m kind of grateful that I am still here. I get to spend all the time I want in that library, still hoping to find something that could help my dad. And, I’ve got to spend more time with the nice people I’ve met. I’m not complaining.

* * * * *

When dinner is over everyone is moved into a big ballroom. There are decorations everywhere. I didn’t know iridescent colours could be a theme, but this sure is working and it’s beautiful.

I don’t even know where to look. Everything looks perfect.

In the fuss of switching to another room, I’ve lost sight of Brooke. Now I’m all by myself and don’t really know how a ball is supposed to work. It’s not like I’ve ever attended one before.

I find a nice spot near one of the walls where I can quietly observe the other people in the room. I see people mingling with others, standing near the drink table, or simply doing the same thing as me. There are also people dancing, which seems to be the main event here. Then my eye falls on the orchestra not that far away from me, playing the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard. It’s a great mix of classical music and instrumental versions of popular songs. I know how I’m going to spend my evening.

I have no clue how much time has passed as I’ve been so absorbed by the music, but at some point my gaze lands on Brooke who is just heading my way. “Hello,” I say, smiling at her. “Are you enjoying the ball?”

She doesn’t look to happy. “Not so far…”

“What's wrong?” I tuck some hair behind my ear, just then remembering Carla’s firm words. I wasn’t allowed to touch my hair. Well too late for that now. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” she hums as she looks around. “I just need to get something over within a few.” She turns to look back at me then with a smile on her face but it doesn’t feel that genuine. It doesn’t reach her eyes. “How have you been?”

I still feel a little worried about my friend. What if she got herself in trouble? I really do hope she would tell me, but I don’t want to be annoying so I decide to let it go. For now. “I'm alright thanks.” My eyes go to the many decorations around the room, catching the light every now and then, reflecting all possible colours. “This is quite a party, isn't it?”

“It definitely is,” a sigh escapes her. “I am happy I found a way around wearing one of those gowns...” But then she scoffs and shakes her head, “also have you found the bar already?”

“You look stunning, Brooke,” I say, and I mean it. That power suit is perfect for her, it complements her so well. It’s literally her personality in an outfit. She looks amazing. “I don't know if there is a bar, but I believe there is a table with all sorts of drinks,” I look around, trying to spot the table. But there are too many people crowding around us, I can’t find the table anymore.

My compliment earns me a light smile. “Thank you Tavi. So do you.” Before I even know what’s happening, Brooke grabs my arm and drags me to the drink table. Of course she’s the one who spotted the location of the alcohol.

There are so many different glasses lined up on the table. I’m guessing each type of drink has its own glass but, given my limited knowledge on the matter, I honestly have no clue what it all is. I recognize the ones with champagne though and stay far away from those glasses. Not a fan. “What even is all of this?”

Unlike me, it seems like Brooke doesn’t care what she puts in her mouth. She just grabs the one closest to her and downs it in one go. “No clue.”

I eye the table again. Some glasses are filled with some brownish liquid. I’m not sure if it’s whiskey but I’m not about to try my luck. I don’t have a lot of good experiences with that specific drink. Just thinking about the last time, when Brooke had brought over those bottles, I can already taste the flavour in my mouth. Plus it had given me one of the worst hangovers I’ve ever had. Or maybe that had more to do with the fact that I had finished almost the entire bottle…

I decide to go for some clear drink. Perhaps this is just regular water? I take a little sip, yeah definitely not water. It tastes like a gin-tonic, with a very very distant hint of gin. But alright. I turn around to face the dancefloor again. People are dancing around like they have no care in the world. It’s quite magical to watch them move completely in sync with the music.

“So what's this thing you've got to take care of?”

I slightly tilt my head, waiting for Brooke’s response. Her face tells it all, she’s worried. “Gotta break up with the princey.”

I almost drop my drink. That is not what I was expecting to hear at all. This could only mean one thing. “You're leaving?”

She nods her head, “I didn't come for the love of the prince.” She sighs, but there is also a hint of smile. It lights up her entire face. “But I found love nonetheless.”

Weeks ago, she told me she didn’t think she had ever been in love. And now hearing her say she has found it, I feel so happy for her. I can barely contain my excitement as I grab her arm. “You did?”

“You know Itzel - am I right?”

“Oh my god Brooke!” I throw my arms around her and hug her tightly. I completely forget about the glass I’m holding and my drink spills all over my hand. But I don’t care about that right now. The only thing that matters in this moment is Brooke. “I'm so happy for you.”

“Thank you Tav. Didn't think something like that would ever happen... But it did.”

“You deserve it.” I hold onto her for a little moment longer. When I let go, I find her grinning at me. “Tell me. How did this happen?” She never mentioned anything during mealtimes and I never noticed anything different about her. I do remember the sparkle in Itzel’s eyes every time she mentioned Brooke when we were in the music room though. It makes sense.

“Thank you.” The smile on her face grows bigger and bigger. “You are actually the first person to know.” There is a brief pause. “I just randomly ran into Itzel at my runs a few times. And I don't really know. But she just - it just feels so right being around her. I actually never thought that I... You know. But I actually can't imagine a life without her anymore...”

I can’t help but smile myself, Brooke deserves the absolute world. “That sounds so great. And Itzel is such a kind soul.”

“She is indeed. Shines bright like the stars.” Brooke is practically glowing with happiness.

“Where is she now?” I look around the room but I don’t see Itzel’s face anywhere. Seriously why is Brooke over here talking to me when she could go and have fun with the lady of her heart.

“I haven't seen her yet - but she should show up any minute.”

“Hm,” I don’t recognize the song the orchestra is playing now, so I will definitely have to look into that. The cellos play the most beautiful notes, their sound flowing perfectly through the music created by the rest of the orchestra. But still they manage to stand out among the other instruments. “How are you going to drop the news to the prince?”

“I still haven't found a sensitive way to be honest. I was slightly debating sending him a ‘breakup’ cake.” I can hear the nerves in her laugh.

The thought of a breakup cake makes me laugh, that’s definitely something Brooke would do. “That would have been funny. Do you think he'll be upset or something?”

“Probably more relieved.”

I take a sip from the now half-empty glass in my hands. Such a shame that most of the drink got spilled on the floor. “Then why are you nervous?”

“Cause then it's really real.”

I reach for Brooke’s hand. I wish I could do anything to help but this is something she and Itzel need to do by themselves. “You'll be fine, you deserve happiness and love.”

That’s when Itzel joins us. “Ladies, I hope you are having a wonderful evening now that I have arrived.”

Brooke says something and then winks at Itzel. How did I not know there was something more between them? “Itzel hello! You look gorgeous.” The dress she’s wearing suits her so well, the colour of it really makes the brown in her eyes stand out.

Itzel smiles at me. “Tavi! Awww,” she waves her hand to shrug off my compliment. “And you look stunning! Very sophisticated and ready to rule the world.”

That makes me laugh. Ready to rule the world is definitely the vibe I’m going for. Just hand me crown already.

I thank her anyway.

“And Brooke, you seem ready to break a couple of hearts. Very...” Itzel hums as she looks at Brooke from head to toe. “Ethereal.” Brooke replies with an eyeroll. They’re so adorable, it warms my heart. Then Itzel turns to me with wide eyes. “Oh Tavi. I heard your band and told ya I actually enjoy it. Not what I usually listen to, but definitely have amazing songs.”

“Oh really?” I had forgotten about her promise to listen to my band’s music. “I actually didn't expect you to enjoy our music. But I'm glad you did. Thank you.” The fact that she put in the effort to look for our music makes me smile. We’ve been working so hard on creating our own music for years, making it extra special to hear someone saying they like them. It means the world to me.

Itzel nods her head, “Yep. I actually sent it to my dad and he loved it. Says it's right up his alley. No problem, Tavi.” Before I can reply, she clears her throat and looks between me and Brooke. “So what were you two talking about? It looked quite serious.”

She had talked about her dad during our last encounter. She said music was like an escape for him. Just like it is for me. “Your dad really sounds like a man after my own heart.” Brooke is holding out a drink to me and I take it and thank her. I feel like I shouldn’t be the one to tell Itzel what we had been talking about so I remain quiet, hoping Brooke will open her mouth.

Itzel laughs because of my comment about her father. “What can I say many ladies were, and obviously are still, enchanted by my father.”

I really wonder who would be able to resist a man like her dad. He ticks off all the essential boxes. Too bad he is already married and has children. And I could be his daughter. What a shame. I can’t help but laugh.

No one has answered her question yet, but the laughter has died down, resulting in a silence. Itzel tilts her head, patiently waiting for an answer.

Minutes go by before Brooke finally replies, “ohhh I just told Tavi about the scene we will cause in a few.” She nudges Itzel with her elbow.

“Ah, I see.” She chuckles softly. “It's going to be grand. A good way to end this, at least that's what I think.” Itzel shoulders relax a little, I hadn’t notice how tense she was. I could only imagine what their conversation with the prince is going to be like. It must be nerve-wrecking, having to tell him you’ve found love elsewhere. “If things go south, then I have the necessary help to make a run for it. Me and my beautiful lady.”

I look between the two of them, a warm and fuzzy feeling falling over me once again. “I'm so happy you two found each other.”

“Tavi stop being so sappy.”

I shoot Brooke a look, “sorry I can't help it.” What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t feel any kind of joy for them?

Itzel links her arm with Brooke’s, smiling at me. “Well thank you, Tavi. I'm sure you'll find someone who makes you feel...all these feelings.” I myself am not so sure of that. If only someone would change his mind. But I don’t see that happening in the near future. Or ever.

Brooke and Itzel start talking about a dance. I’m the obvious third wheel here and they deserve to have a moment for themselves. “I take this as my sign to go?”

But that is not what they have in mind apparently. Brooke smirks at me and drags both me and Itzel towards the dancefloor. “No one is getting out of this party without shredding the dance floor with me.”

Itzel laughs at that. “Guess not, Tavi. It's a party and Brooke isn't gonna let us go easily.”

There is nothing I can do to stop this anyway, so I decide to just go with it.

The orchestra is playing the instrumental version of some popular song. Without a dance partner or a list of dance steps to follow, I can now freely move on the beat of the music. Such a relief.

Brooke is doing the same as I am, having fun while breaking into some dance moves. Itzel on the other hand seems to be a little more hesitant. But Brooke manages to twirl her around. They both look so happy with bright smiles on their faces.

I take a few steps backwards to let them have their movement. That’s the least I can do.

At some point, Itzel makes her way over to me pulling Brooke with her. “I'm slightly intimidated by how well you two seem to dance.”

That makes me laugh. “Don't look at me, Brooke is the pro here.” She really has a natural feeling for the rhythm in music, making it all look so very easy. Next to her, everyone else looks more like an amateur.

“Would have been a waste of money if that weren't the case,” Brooke replies.

“Well... I'm going to get a breath of fresh air. You two carry on.” Before Itzel walks away, she plants a quick kiss on Brooke’s cheek.

They really seem like the perfect pair, balancing each other out. Adorable.

“You okay?” I ask Brooke once Itzel has disappeared. Something about her facial expression has changed, perhaps she’s worrying about her upcoming talk with the prince again.

“Yeah...” She sighs deeply and stops dancing. “I just realized it's probably gonna be my last night here.”

I stop dancing as well. I hadn’t realized that she will be leaving the palace so soon, but of course it makes sense. Why would the prince keep her here? “Are you going to miss it?”

“Never thought I'd say it,” she says as she turns to look at me. Her eyes betray her nervousness. “But yes...”

I link my arm with Brooke’s. “Come on, let’s get you another drink.” I know that doesn’t solve anything, but perhaps it could take some of her nerves and worry away.

I let go of Brooke as we reach the drink table again, handing her a drink. “What are you going to miss the most?”

“You... And maybe the food…”

Hearing her say that, breaks my heart. We had walked into this experience together and now she’s leaving. “I'm glad you put me before the food. But I'll miss you too.” Terribly. I know it’s a little selfish, but I don’t want her to leave me behind. Who am I supposed to talk to during mealtimes when she’s gone?

“Was a thin line.” And then she’s pulling me into a hug.

I don’t want to let go of my friend. Can’t she just stay by my side forever?

But I know she can’t, especially now that she has Itzel. They deserve to start a life together. Let them have their happiness.

“Group hug?” Itzel says from behind me somewhere.

I laugh softly, “please join in.” And so she does.

“My loves,” Brooke says, hugging us even tighter.

When we let go of each other, I can’t help but feel very sad. How will I survive this without my friends?

I’m not really listening to what Brooke and Itzel are talking about what else they’re going to miss. Itzel says something about a small forest and by the look on her face I can tell something has happened there. I don’t want to know the details of that.

“Tavi?” Brooke voice brings me back to reality. She’s holding a little eyeliner pencil towards me, “phone number.”

I take the little pencil from her and write down my number on the wrist she’s offering. “You can call me any time, okay?”

“Watch me call you 5 seconds after I left this place.”

Itzel laughs, “or we could kidnap her every now and then, I'm sure she's allowed to leave the palace if she'd like.”

Brooke raises her eyebrows at that. “Promising plan.”

Itzel winks, “exactly. Like I have been saying before I have eyes and ears here. It could work.” For some reason I don’t think she’s exaggerating.

“I can leave on my own account, you know. No need for a kidnapping action.” And besides that, I feel like my days of staying in the palace are soon to be over anyway.

“Shhhhh kidnapping sounds more fun,” Brooke winks at me. Yeah sure, of course kidnapping sounds fun to her. She’s not the one being kidnapped.

“It's no fun if it's too easy,” Itzel says, crossing her arms. These two really are a match made in heaven, aren’t they?

I look from one to the other, suddenly unsure whether they’re joking. “Can you at least warn me in advance?”

Brooke shrugs her shoulders. “Sure - we'll give you a smog signal.”

“I will stay near a window at all times then.”

Itzel seems way too excited for this, “Sounds like a plan!”

I’m going to miss these two so much. “This place is going to be so dull when you two are gone.”

Brooke hands something to me. “For the bad times.”

I take the package from her and look at it. Of course. Weed. What else could I have expected from her. “Thank you Brooke, you really are a great friend.” A little bag of weed is all I ever wanted... But still I appreciate the gesture.

“Camping trip once this is all over?” Brooke’s gaze shifts between me and Itzel.

We both agree. At least I have something to look forward to now.

Brooke and Itzel go into a different direction. Perhaps they’re on their way to the prince for their chat. Or maybe they just need a little more time with each other before that moment.

I make my way back to one side of the room, the spot where I can go enjoy the music without being in the way of people. I realize I’m still holding the little package of weed in my hand. What am I even supposed to do with this? I didn’t bring a bag and my dress doesn’t have pockets. There is only one other option, I try to tuck it into my bra without anyone else noticing. Hopefully it will stay there.

* * * * *

A sudden tap on my shoulder surprises me. The music had consumed me once again. I didn’t notice someone had approached me. But when I turn around and see who is standing there, I feel disappointed. It’s not the person I was hoping for.

It’s Bambi. Or should I say Jakob?

“You promised me a dance,” he says, offering his arm to me.

Oh god. I don’t remember that but I must have agreed to it during our walk to the dining hall, when I hadn’t been listening to anything he was saying. Sigh. Is it too late to say no now?

After some serious debating in my head, I take his arm. I don’t want to dance with him but the other option is rejecting him on the spot and that may be even worse, especially if he is going to cause a scene.

He leads me to the dancefloor. Other people are already paired up and moving on the rhythm of the music.

Bambi takes my right hand in his own, placing his other hand on the back of my waist right on the spot where my dress is showing some skin. I really don’t like the feeling of his hand there. With my free hand I move his arm slightly upwards so that his hand is now resting a little higher on my back, far away from my skin.

I place my hand on his shoulder and he starts the dance. I wish I had paid more attention during the dance lessons we’ve had this past week. For some reason this type of dancing just isn’t for me. You’d say someone who’s into music as much as I am, would be able to connect the music to the required movements. But something apparently went wrong in my head because I just couldn’t make it work. This dancing was just a little stiff and there were so many steps to remember. Pfft.

I feel my dance partner’s eyes on me. I turn my head away so I don’t have to look at him. He’s talking to me, but I don’t listen to any of the words coming out of him. Instead I focus on the music. It’s pure and beautiful and touching.

Someone bumps into me. Isn’t it the man’s job to pay attention?

“Oh, I’m sorry… hi!”

“Oh it's okay.” I turn to see who bumped into me, even though I’m pretty sure I recognized her voice. Leana. “Hello.”

The guy Leana is dancing with tries to lead her away from me, but she’s not having any of it. “How’re you liking the party?”

Bambi however understands what she’s trying to do and keeps us close to one another so we can continue our conversation. “It's quite fun, isn't it?” I have to turn my face to see the girl I’m talking to. Dancing and talking is not a good combination when your conversation partner is not the same person as your dancing partner. “What about you?”

I notice her gaze shift to someplace behind me. I turn my head to see who or what she’s looking for, but I can’t figure it out. After a brief moment of silence, she replies, “it’s being ... quite a surprise.”

“A surprise?” I raise my eyebrows, but I don’t think she notices. Her gaze is still focussed on something else in this room. “In what way?”

Our dance partners are not really making it easy for us. Right now, Leana’s partner is blocking my entire view of her. “I mean... I had been in big events but nothing like this.”

“Yeah,” I answer as if I relate to what she’s saying. The biggest event I’ve ever been to, was a rock concert in the Park Theatre back in Winnipeg. And the vibe during that concert was the complete opposite from the one right here in this ballroom. “The royal family sure knows how to organize a party.”

I wonder if she even heard what I was saying because her partner is trying to lead her away again. But then I see her open her mouth, “what about change partners, should we?” She lets her partner twirl her around one last time.

Before I even realize what’s happening, she is standing in front of me.

I look to Bambi just in time to see his round eyes go even bigger. He doesn’t say anything, even though he doesn’t look too happy with this sudden change. Leana’s partner is looking at him with the same expression on his face, completely lost. The sight of them makes me laugh. I don’t think they were expecting something like this to happen.

“You want to dance with me? I have to warn you, this is not one of my talents.” Understatement.

“I know, I saw you at the dancing lessons,” Leana replies. Well at least she gives me an honest answer. “I’m not that good either but I refuse to stay standing at a party.”

“I was hoping nobody had noticed. But I have to agree with you, the music is worth dancing to.” Even now the rhythm of the music is calling out to me, encouraging me to start dancing. As long as I can move freely, there is absolutely no problem. But whenever a dance partner appears, everything goes wrong. I honestly don’t know what my problem is.

Leana is swinging along on the rhythm, her eyes are again trained on something or someone else in the room. “Hey, you should have play something for us tonight.”

I turn my face to look at the ensemble creating some beautiful music at the moment. “Nah I'm good, I wouldn't want to impose.”

“After listening to you playing I don't think anyone would see it that way,” she shrugs.

“Thanks,” her compliment makes me chuckle a little, “but I think I'll pass.” I honestly don’t feel like putting myself in the spotlight right now. This is not my ball and I don’t want to be the centre of attention. In fact, I’d rather be enjoying the music and everything from the side line. “Hey, you've got moves. Have you done this type of dancing before?”

That makes her laugh, “I have but I’m not that good...”

“Don't be so modest,” I offer her a reassuring smile. If she is ‘not that good’, then where does that leave me? “You're better than most of us.”

She bobs her head a little. “I won’t argue about that...” A crescendo in the song catches my attention. Leana apparently heard it to because she switches places with me right when it happens. We continue dancing, but in reality it’s more like she is dancing and I’m copying whatever she does. “How does your family spend this holiday?”

I refrain from saying that I feel like it’s only the higher castes that consider Independence Day as a holiday. For me and my family, it’s a day just like any other. “We don't really celebrate it to be honest. But we do have a more elaborate dinner that day, with other family members coming over and such.” I tilt my head a little. “What about you?”

“There’s always an important dinner hosted by governors, so we haven’t celebrated it as family for a long time... just my mom, now, my little brother and me eating something delicious.”

“Oh,” it never occurred to me that families might not see each other on a day they consider to be a holiday. I can’t imagine what that must be like, if everyone in the family has different obligations. “I'm sorry. Do you miss your family?”

Leana keeps on dancing, every move she makes is in sync with the music. “I do miss them, but we didn’t see each other during the day much, just breakfast.” She raises a shoulder as if it’s nothing. “I have texted them and called them so I’m fine. What about you?”

“I miss my family terribly.” They are the most important thing in my life. I just want to hug them and never let go again. “Phone calls just aren't the same.”

“Uh videocalls?” she raises an eyebrow at me.

“I mean,” I sigh softly, “it's just not the same as real life you know.”

Leana nods her head slowly, she’s not really looking at me anymore. “It’s hard to be used to be around someone every day and suddenly he’s not ...”

I don’t really understand what she’s talking about. “Uhm I'm sorry?”

She blinks her eyes a couple of times, finally focussing back on me again. “I mean family, having the family away it’s hard.” She reaches out to me and places a hand on my arm. The smile she gives me seems genuine.

Is she talking about my dad? How did the conversation take a turn to this?

“Yeah it sucks.” I don’t feel like elaborating about it, not on a night like this when we are supposed to enjoy ourselves.

Her hand slips to mine and she makes me twirl. “Looking forward to dance with the prince?”

I’m glad for the topic change but why did it have to go to the prince now? “I wasn't planning on dancing with him, no.” Last time we talked, I didn’t get the impression that Leana was too fond of him either. Something must have changed between them two. Interesting. If we had been a little closer in terms of friendship, I would have asked her about it. But I feel like it’s not my place to do that, so I drop it and raise my eyebrows at her. “Are you going to?”

She raises her eyebrows in return. “You said that as if you had other specific plans...” The curiosity is right there in her eyes. It must be the journalist in her, always wanting to know everything. But then she shrugs. “I don’t know, I guess he’s going to be busy for a while.”

The ball is well underway and I realize I haven’t paid any attention to the prince and his whereabouts. It’s the same thing I have been doing the last couple of months, casually ignoring his existence. “But I'm sure if you ask the prince, he'll accept the dance. It's kind of his job isn't it?”

Her face turns into a grimace. “That doesn’t sound so good ... if it’s his job I will consider giving him a free day then.”

I gasp, pretending to be shocked. “Ah Leana, don't rob him of his opportunity to dance with you.”

Speaking of opportunities for a dance, I remember someone asking me for one earlier tonight. Where is Hugo? I glance around the room, but I can’t seem to find him. There are people walking, talking and dancing everywhere.

Leana’s laugh makes my attention shift back to her, “he will be fine.”

“Hm, you're going to break his heart.” Poor prince.

Her eyes sparkle with amusement when she answers, “I remember someone was going to serenade him. What happened with that?”

We had indeed made a deal all those weeks ago, to see whether he would be scared away by my band’s music. But the entire thing had slipped from my mind. Such a shame. It makes me laugh, “I completely forgot about that.”

She doesn’t answer besides shaking her head in disappointment.

“Please forgive me,” I say with an overdramatic tone in my voice. If she really wants to know how the prince responds to music, she could play some guitar for him herself. Her guitar skills are pretty good, even if she says otherwise.

“I mean it’s never too late,” she says, adding a wink.

We continue dancing and talking for a little while, but then a familiar face catches my attention. I turn to face Leana again. She keeps on dancing without a care in the world. The twirls she’s making highlight the ruffles of her beautiful dress, the fabric flowing along in the movements.

I glance back at Hugo a second time. He’s still where he was a minute ago.

“Um- I’m afraid I need to go get something to drink... is okay if I,” Leana’s words make me turn back to her.

“Uh yeah sure. Thanks for the dance,” I say and I mean it. I don’t know if I would have survived an entire song with Bambi. His monologue made it impossible for me to hear the music. Leana saved me from that at least.

She smirks at me, “have fun.”

“Yeah you too,” I say, waving a little goodbye before she turns to walk in the other direction.

I walk over to the drink table, trying not to bump into other people along the way. It’s quite a challenge of its own. Some people really don’t pay attention to where they’re going, either because they’re too focussed on their conversation or because they might be drunk.

Eventually I reach my destination and extend a hand. “Care for a dance?”

Hugo turns to me with a smile on his face. I don’t think that’s a view I will ever be bothered by. As friends of course. For some reason, I have to keep reminding myself of that. Why can’t I just accept it and let it go?

He takes my hand, the soft touch bringing me back to reality. “You don't even have to ask.”

I practically drag him with me towards the dance floor, again trying not to bump into other people. “Are you enjoying the ball so far?”

“Yes, but I think I'm enjoying it more now. I've been looking forward to getting my feet stepped on all night.”

His answer makes me snort. “You can step on your own feet, you don't need me for that.” I’ve done it to myself numerous times, sometimes even resulting in me falling on my face. It’s not something I’d recommend but if he really wants to, then it’s an option.

I hear a soft chuckle coming from behind me. “I could but I'd rather have you do it.”

We’ve reached the dance floor and I turn to face him. Before I even know what I am doing, I step on his foot lightly. “Here you go, happy now?” In doing so, some hair has fallen in front of my eyes. I’m sure Carla would allow me to touch my hair now, it’s literally blocking a part of my view. Although, knowing Carla she would probably criticize me for it. I reach up anyway and tuck the hair behind my ear. I glance around to find other people paired up as well, ready for a dance. Some of them are other selected, partnering up with unknown men. Their escorts perhaps? “I might need your help though, this is not one of the things I'm good at.”

His laugh attracts my attention again and I glance at my friend just when he returns the gesture, stepping lightly on my toes. “I’m thrilled.” Before I can do or say anything, he pulls me closer. His hand rests on the back of my waist. I don’t mind his hand there, contrary to Jakob’s hand which I moved upwards as a result. “You've got this. I'll be here with you every step of the way.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” I place my free hand on his shoulder.

Right at that moment the orchestra begins to play a new song, one from the classical genre this time. “You're doing really well, Tavi.”

Such a liar, I know in fact that I’m not doing well at all. “Stop it, this is all you.” But I can’t stop the smile from coming to my face. “Have you taken dance lessons? Or does this come natural to you?”

“Don't sell yourself short.” Hugo squeezes my hand softly, causing me to miss a step. He doesn’t seem to notice, or if he does, he doesn’t mention it for which I’m grateful. “I've taken some dance lessons, yes.”

I nod my head a little as I listen to what he’s saying. “Impressive. Truly. This doesn't seem like an easy thing to learn.” Yet if I had paid some attention during those lessons, I might have actually learned a thing or two.

He laughs, though I don’t know what I’ve said to have caused it. I’m not complaining though, it’s such a joyous sound. “Well, you know how to do other things way better than I do.”

“Oh right yeah, bannister sliding. Let's not forget that one.” The memory alone makes me chuckle. That is something I will remember forever.

That only makes him laugh more. “You're never going to let that go, are you?”

I shake my head, “nope and I will make sure you don't forget about it either.”

The laughing stops. Instead he tilts his head to one side, smiling at me again. “This is going to sound weird but I don't think I mind.”

I- I don’t know how to take that. Or how to respond. I decide to opt for a joke. “Well great because in the afterlife, my ghost is definitely going to find your ghost and be like ‘hey Hugo, do you remember that bannister thing?’ So you will be reminded of my victory forever and ever.” I don’t dare say anything about the time before afterlife. Perhaps he doesn’t want to stay friends with me once this selection is over.

He looks away from me, but I can see the tiniest blush appearing on his face. “But maybe until then you can remind me while we're alive?”

His words make my worries disappear. “Of course.” I even manage to get out a soft laugh. “I wouldn't want to throw those opportunities away.”

“How close are you and Arin?”

“Me and prince Arin?” This is the second time tonight that someone brings up that prince. Do I give off the vibe that I want to talk about him or something? “We're not close at all. We haven't spoken since that date and that was what, 2 months ago or something? Why?”

There is a brief pause before he continues speaking. “So... if you went out one night maybe you don't think he would mind?”

“I think he'd be glad to get rid of me.” I honestly think the prince wouldn’t even notice if I had gone missing. I truly don’t understand where this conversation is going or why the prince was brought up in the first place. “Why are you asking me this?”

“Because I know it's not really allowed.... but I was wondering if you might like to go to dinner sometime.”

Hang on. This has already happened before.

I raise my eyebrows, “a date?”

“As friends I mean. Friends of course.”

My heart tells me to get my hopes up again, but my head tells me to not be stupid. I follow the advice of my heart, not having learned anything from last time when he had dropped that friend bomb on me. “You mean as friends?” Please don’t make me go through this again. Please don’t make me feel like an idiot.

But then he shakes his head. “No... not as friends.” A billion things pass through my mind all at once, creating some sort of chaos. I feel speechless. And maybe it’s because I don’t say anything, because he adds in a quiet voice, “I'm sorry- I totally get if that's not what you want and I was wrong.”

My heart is racing but I manage to clear a path in the complete chaos in my mind. “Hugo,” I softly squeeze his hand, hoping it might be enough to get him to look at me again. “I would love that.”

When he finally looks at me, his eyes have gone a bit wide. “Really?”

I nod my head, unable to keep a smile from appearing on my face. “Of course.”

“Okay,” he lets out a breath and nods. “It's a date- and not as friends.”

I can’t help but laugh. “Not as friends.” I don’t understand how this even happened, especially after last time. I hadn’t seen this coming at all, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like it. It’s a nice surprise.

There is the tiniest pressure of Hugo’s hand on my back, pushing me a little closer to him. “I thought you were going to say no.”

“Really?” I look up at him, raising my eyebrows. “Why would I ever say no?”

“I just wasn't sure if you felt the same way...”

I squeeze his hand again. “I thought I had made that pretty clear.” Let’s be honest, I hadn’t been doing a good job at the whole friends thing. “But now you know.” My own words make me blush a little. Normally I would try to avoid conversations like these at all costs, but with Hugo I just couldn’t.

“I'm glad I was wrong.” That beautiful smile is on his face again. “Very happy.”

I return the smile, enjoying this moment with him. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more at ease with someone than I do with Hugo. This silence is welcome, giving me time to clear the rest of the chaos in my head so I can at least enjoy this moment.

But then I realize why it is silent.

The song has ended and the orchestra isn’t playing a new one yet. “Oh,” I quickly let go of him, taking a little step backwards. I really don’t want to attract any unwanted attention from other guests. Some of them could be slithering around like snakes, looking for interesting stories they could turn into huge scandals. Dangerous territory. “I'm sorry I don't mean to take up all of your time.”

Hugo reacts the same way as I did. He also steps back, creating even more distance between us. “Oh... You weren't.”

The talking has completely distracted me, I didn’t pay any attention to the music. Did we even dance? “I didn't step on your feet, did I?”

He shakes his head. “Not once, except for at the beginning.”

That’s a relief, at least I did something right. Unlike those dance lessons. I’m pretty sure my practice dance partner has bruises on his feet from all the times I accidently stepped on them. Poor guy. “But that one was on purpose, so it doesn't really count.”

“On purpose or not I'd rather have no one else step on my toes.” I need a second to let those words sink in. No one else. What is that supposed to mean? I blink my eyes twice, only to find him holding his arm out to me. “Would you like to go for a walk?”

“Of course.” I close the distance between us again and gently take his arm. “Where to?”

A smile lights up Hugo’s face again. “How about the gardens? I heard they're nice tonight.”

“Sounds great.” I smile back at him. Some fresh air would be nice actually. Especially after being in this room full of people for… how long now? “But are you sure you don't need to stay here? What if someone wants to dance with you?” During that tour, he mentioned that he had befriended some of the other girls. I don’t want to take their opportunities for a chat, or maybe even a dance, away.

“All I am is a cousin. No one cares too much about what I do or where I go.” He shrugs as we walk towards the open doors. It’s dark outside but I can already see some lights illuminating plants here and there.

I turn my face back to Hugo and just look at him for a moment without saying anything. His words break my heart a little bit. This is his family after all, how can he feel like they don’t care? “I'm sure that's not true.”

He nods his head. “It is. But I don't mind. I like being able to mostly live the life I want.”

“Okay yeah I get that.” I look at him for a little while longer, but then I avert my gaze to see where I’m placing my feet. I really don’t want to make a fool of myself by falling. I focus on a champagne glass lying on the floor not too far away. How it survived its fall is beyond me. “Just... know that I care, okay?”

Hugo doesn’t reply right away. I wonder if he even heard what I was saying. Or maybe I said something stupid. But what I said is the truth, I had cared for him ever since the moment I met him. He had been so kind to me, making me feel at ease during that photoshoot. And then during that tour, when I had told him all about my dad and he had just listened. He hadn’t judged me or my family. He didn’t look any differently at me after I was done talking. There was no fear or anything close to that in his eyes. I’m not sure he knows just how much that little moment means to me.

“Tavi..... thank you.”

My heart might break a second time just because of the way he says my name. “You don't need to thank me,” I say as I pat his arm a couple of times. The gardens stretch out before us now. I had been mistaken, it’s not just a simple light here and there. In every direction I see lights of different shapes, brightness and colours, yet it all fits together perfectly somehow. “Oh look, you were right. The gardens look beautiful.”

There is a moment of silence. I don’t need to look at him to know that he’s also taking in the view of the garden. “Safiya did this.”

“She really has an eye for detail. It looks amazing.” The decorations in the ballroom are gorgeous, but the ones here in the garden are absolutely magical. It doesn’t matter where I look, there is something beautiful everywhere.

“She's always known what went together.”

The sky is filled with a billion little lights of its own. The stars flicker as they create their own patterns. “Are the two of you close?”

Hugo chuckles, “it depends on the day.” That’s always the case with family, isn’t it? On most days there are no problems, but on others even one wrong look can cause the next world war. But no matter how bad the argument, family is family and you love them anyway. “Do you have siblings?”

“I have one older brother, and a younger sister and brother.” Just the thought of them makes me smile. I’m sure Aria would love to attend a ball like this, if only for the gown.

“What are their names?”

We continue walking through the gardens. Lights are hung up, lining this very path. On the left there is a huge tree with fairy lights wrapped around the tree trunk and its branches. “So first there's Daniel, he already has a family of his own with the cutest little baby. And then my younger siblings are Aria and Arlan.”

“That’s a lot to keep track of. I just have Chloé and she’s more than enough.” There is so much love in his voice, it makes me smile. “Do you get to see your older brother often?”

“Yeah he always comes over a couple of times a week for dinner.” And I guess he has been coming to our house more often now that I’m gone. Daniel had promised me he would look after mom and the little ones. The feeling of missing them hits me so hard, I almost break down in tears. I need to steer the conversation away from my family. “Are you and your sister close?”

“Sort of, the past few years we've gone our own ways a bit but I always love spending time with her.”

“Oh that's nice.” We pass a flowerbed with multiple balls of light placed in it. Some shine a soft pink light, while others look more like blue and green. “Is she the girl you walked into dinner today?”

There is a moment of silence before he answers. “No... I escorted Felicity...”

“Oh,” that name rings a bell somewhere. Felicity. Then I remember the very first etiquette lesson all those months ago. She had entered the room, whispering something we couldn’t hear to the princess. I didn’t know who she was then, but Brooke had explained, ‘I am pretty sure it is Prince Arin's ex-girlfriend.’ No matter how hard I think about this, I can’t make sense of the situation. I don’t understand how Hugo came to be her escort. Why couldn’t the prince accompany his own ex-girlfriend to a dinner in his palace? “But she's the prince's ex? Why would you escort her then?”

I look over the flowerbed on my right, the light balls illuminate some flowers while others disappear completely in the darkness of the night. As we walk past it, the soft colours of the lights sort of blend together.

“Yeah she is, but we were paired up because it's a rank thing. We didn't decide that.”

“Okay of course.” I nod my head, “that makes sense.” What am I doing? I feel like I’ve overstepped a boundary. I shouldn’t have asked about it in the first place. “I'm sorry, that's none of my business.”

“Please don't be sorry.” He pauses for a second. “I have something I should tell you...”

I rip my gaze away from the flowerbed and turn to Hugo instead. “What? Are you okay?”

He nods his head, “I'm fine, I just want to be honest with you. Felicity and I... we...”

Where is this conversation going now? I furrow my eyebrows a little, but I keep quiet so he can continue talking.

He looks so uncomfortable, it makes me feel bad. “We were never really together but... we got close. But I want you to know she's only a friend.”

I don’t know what to say but then something my dad once told me comes back to mind. I was about 6 years old when my parents had asked me which music instrument I wanted to learn how to play: my mom’s violin or my dad’s tuba. Deep down I knew, while both instruments can create the most beautiful sounds, that I wanted to play the guitar. I had seen some musician play it on TV and I fell in love with it right away. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell my parents, in fear of disappointing them by choosing a different instrument. One day my dad asked me what was wrong and I started crying, telling him about the guitar. He pulled me into a hug, assuring me it was okay. “Octavia, we can’t force you to play the violin or the tuba. You have a voice of your own and you’re allowed to use it. This is your life, go for the things that bring you joy.”

I know this situation is far from the same as choosing a music instrument, but I feel like the essence of my dad’s message is applicable here as well. And besides, who am I to judge Hugo? He sure didn’t judge me when I told him about my dad’s jail situation. “Hey listen. Even if she was more than a friend, it's your life and you should do whatever makes you happy.”

He lets out a sigh. I can’t decide whether that’s good or bad, but his face does seem to relax a little. “Tavi, I think you make me happy. And I want more of that with you.”

My heart is beating so loudly, it’s the only thing I can hear. I’m pretty sure Hugo can hear it too, and with him everyone else here in these gardens.

I can’t do anything but stare at him. This is what I have been hoping for deep down, I just can’t believe it’s actually happening. “You're not drunk, are you?”

“No, I'm not. Are you?”

Relief floods over me. At least he’s aware of what he’s saying.

I shake my head, feeling very glad for I only had one alcoholic drink tonight. I’m sure if I had been drunk, this would never have happened. I can barely hear my voice over the beating of my heart, “I think you make me happy too.”

He stops walking, causing me to do the same. His eyes meet mine, but he doesn’t say anything.

I don’t know what to say myself, so I try to go for a way out. “Do you think we should head back?”

“Can we just wait a minute...? I like being out here with you.”

I somehow manage to get some words out of my mouth. “Of course.” I feel like I’m dreaming and I could wake up in my room here in the palace any second now. Or worse, wake up in my bed back in Denbeigh.

He lets go of my arm and turns to face me fully. “I was thinking when this is over I should take you up on your offer and visit Winnipeg...”

“Please do.” I remember that conversation and it hadn’t been me who made that offer. Hugo had said, ‘maybe you could show me around. It's always so much better with a local friend around.’ I remember the words so well, because I had felt so confused for making a friend. Look where we are now. With a smile on my face, I add, “though I can't promise I'm that good of a tour guide. And you set the bar for that quite high.”

His smile has turned so soft. “You can't say a bad thing about anyone...” He reaches down and takes my hand in his. I’m reminded once again of the smoothness of his skin. “That's one of the things I like about you so much. You're the most kind person I think I've ever met.”

I shake my head, I’ve done so many awful things. Like that fight with Leana, judging her for being a journalist. Or when I had aimed that paintball gun on prince Arin. And then actually pulling the trigger, trying to shoot him. “I... that's not true.” And let’s not forget the endless trash talk coming out of my mouth whenever I’m around Brooke. I’m not a kind person at all.

“We all have our good days and bad days- they shouldn't define us.” He reaches up to brush some hair out of my face.

“Hugo,” I can’t do anything else but look up at him. “If there is someone worthy of that most kind person title, it's you.”

He shakes his head. “I think you're wrong... but,” he says, taking a deep breath. He leans a little closer, his face only inches away from mine. “Tavi?”

I don’t know how I manage to speak, I feel like I stopped breathing about 10 minutes ago. “Yeah?” My heart however keeps on beating, the speed increasing with every second that passes.

Then he leans in even closer, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

It feels like that moment when you’re waiting for a concert to begin. The lights are dimmed, and everyone goes silent. Your heartrate increases as you feel your anticipation level rise. And then the musicians take the stage and start playing their music. It’s the moment everyone has been waiting for. All the people start cheering and clapping, letting go of that build-up anticipation, leaving nothing but excitement and happiness behind. And the feeling of wanting more.

That’s exactly what I’m feeling right now. I want more.

I let go of his hand and reach up to touch his face. His eyes lock with mine and I gently bring his face closer to mine, making our lips touch in a gentle kiss.

His hands go up to cup my face, holding me in place as he kisses me back.

My heart is beating so loudly, it’s impossible for him not to hear it.

The kiss makes me feel a billion things at the same time, but surprisingly there is no chaos in my head. There is a calmness somehow, my mind has gone completely blank. The only thing that matters right now is this moment. I don’t want it to end.

But then I realize where we are.

I take a little step backwards, glancing around as I do. I don’t see anyone, but it’s dark outside and someone could be hiding in a bush or something. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that here.”

He quickly glances around before leaning closer, kissing me again. When he pulls away, there is a smile on his face. “I'm not sorry.”

“Hugo,” I’m unable to stop the smile from appearing on my own face. I haven’t felt this kind of happiness in a very long time and now I don’t know what to do with myself.

He drops his hands from my face. I can feel the heat on my cheeks, they’re most likely bright red right now. Thank god for the darkness of the night. One of his hands slips into mine, “Tavi.”

There is something in the way he says my name. Like it’s something special. I fight the urge to kiss him again and instead I intertwine my fingers with his, “thank you for tonight.” It really had exceeded my expectations in every possible way.

“I'm so happy you said yes.” Hugo gives my hand a little squeeze.

I don’t know exactly which yes he’s talking about. I’ve said yes to so many things.

A dance.

A date.

A walk in the gardens.

If I had said no to one of those things, I don’t think I would’ve ended up here. With him.

I look down at our hands, joined together. I don’t want to let go. What if I do and all of this slips right through my fingers? But I also don’t want anyone to find out about this, whatever this may be. I could face any sort of punishment for myself, but I don’t want Hugo to get in any trouble. “Maybe I should head back?”

Our eyes meet again when I look up at him. “If it's okay with you I think I might stay out here a little bit longer?”

“Of course.” I let go of his hand, even though I don’t want to. I stand up on my tiptoes and give him one last quick kiss. “I guess I'll see you around then?”

Even in the darkness, I can see the smile on his face. “I'll see you around, Tavi.”

I return the smile before I turn around and start walking back towards the palace, forcing my heart to calm down. I need all of my attention to focus on the real world.

Darkness, an uneven garden path, me in heels, my mind elsewhere. All of these things together dramatically increase the chances of me ending on the ground.

Many people walk past me on my way back to the palace. Some are alone, others have company. It was definitely clever of me to return to the ballroom. There are curious eyes everywhere.

Back in the ballroom, it’s like nothing has changed. People are still talking, walking and dancing.

I make my way to the drink table only to find my escort Jakob aka Bambi there. He turns in my directions, his eyes sparkling as he recognizes me. But before he can so much as open his mouth, I quickly grab a drink and excuse myself.

I make my way through the room until I find the perfect, quiet spot where no one will bother me. I spend the rest of the evening there, watching the other people but not really seeing them. My mind keeps going back to what happened in the garden, reliving the moment time and time again.

#selectionoc #challenge 5 #fic #((do i tag this as tugo?))#((i guess i do...))#tugo

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ask-de-writer · 4 years

Text

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT : Part 62 of 83 : World of Sea

Return to the Master Story Index

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SEA DRAGON’S GIFT

Part 62 of 83

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

140406 words

written 2007

Reproduction in any form, physical, electronic or digital is prohibited without the express consent of the author.

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Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights. They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact. They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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New to the story? Read from the beginning. PART 1 is here

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Mord knocked on the cabin door. The guard opened it at once.

The degree to which he was still trusted by the crew was shown by their choice of guard. It was Bron, the cabin-boy.

“Yes, Sir?”

“Bron, would you please ask Alor, Acting Captain Kotance, a representative of the Master’s Council and Cron to come here?”

Bron was aware that such a group meant something important. He went at once to Alor’s cabin just down the passage. He spoke with her through the door, staying in the hallway so that he could watch the Captain’s cabin door. Mord only waited, as expected.

Alor went to get the witnesses that Mord had asked for, and Bron came back to his guard post by the door. The group assembled quickly, coming one at a time to the Captain’s cabin.

Last to arrive was Alor, who came in the company of Master Juris.

The others waited in nervous silence until Alor began the meeting. As Purser, she was the ship’s legal officer for most things and all official documents except the log were her province.

She began, “Mord, we have assembled as you have requested. What do you contemplate doing that needs witness from all sections of the crew?”

Mord drew a deep breath and knit his brows before replying, “I have to do the hardest duty of my life. I have looked at all of the charges in the documents that you have provided me and reflected on how best to deal with them. They are all true. I cannot in conscious good faith waste the time of the Longin or the Council trying to fight this.”

Concerned, Master Juris asked, “Will you mount no defense? These are serious charges. You could lose much, perhaps even your life.”

“I can only say in my defense that I plead mitigating circumstance. I believe that I went onto dry land when Kurin was so viciously poisoned. I have regarded her as a daughter and responded to her poisoning with a parent’s rage instead of a Captain’s thought and consideration.”

Kotance thoughtfully ran a hand through his red hair before speaking, “As Acting Captain, I must inquire into your state of mind. You say that you ran hard aground. What do you think has put you safely afloat now? In short, are you refusing to fight as a way to get yourself punished for the killings? Do you have safe water under your keel?”

“I believe that I do, Captain. I do not want to be punished but I must take the responsibility for what I have done. I did not even realize that I had done anything seriously wrong until after I saw the charges in writing and had the time to reflect on them. I believe that I am now past that lapse of sanity. I will accept the decision of the Council. Until then, I will serve the Longin in whatever capacity I am allowed.”

Chapter 23: Questions

Kurin braced herself. She had interviewed many of the Grandalor’s company. What she had found had bothered her a great deal because it showed a dark side to the fleet that she loved. Many of the crew had done bad things and had deserved their punishments. Nearly as many more had been the victims of crimes by high officers on their ships or were inconvenient to keep for one or another reason. They had been disposed of.

The Oath of Adoption, where they repudiated their old ship names and took Grandalor in their places was a thing that had been planned without Barad or Tanlin’s knowledge. Originally, only about half the ship’s crew had planned to participate.

When it became obvious that the Captain who had helped them in their need was himself in trouble, they had pulled together behind him unanimously. He had not let them down and they would stand with him. The Oath had been a way to show both him and the Council how they felt. Their loyalty was ferocious.

A lifetime of habit made the very idea of accepting what Barad might tell her as questionable at best. Tanlin had put it succinctly. “Oi understand t’at i’ Barad told ye t’at t’e sky wa’ blue t’at ye wad probably look up t’ check. Twad be best t’ interview ‘im last o’ t’e crew but before Morgu an’ Silor. T’en ye’ll ‘ave somet’in’ t’ use for judgin’ w’at ‘e tells ye.”

Kurin had taken that advice. She drew a deep breath and knocked on the Captain’s cabin door. Tanlin opened it at once. Barad was seated at a small table in the middle of the cabin.

“Do ye wont m’ t’ stay or go?” asked the Captain.

“I would appreciate it if you stayed but all of my other interviews have been solo. I had better do this alone,” Kurin answered.

“T’at’s good,” said Tanlin, stepping through the door. “T’is way shows nae favoritism.”

As the door slid shut behind her Barad smiled wanly and waved her an invitation to sit across from him. “I won’t bite. It cost us dear to get you here to help us. I can’t see how you can save me. I am grateful that you will try to get my wife and crew off.”

Kurin replied thoughtfully, “I may not ever like you, Barad, but you deserve the best justice that can be. I have learned things that I wish that I had never heard or read. I can check almost everything from the fleet archives when we Gather for the trial. I am sure that what I have learned will be backed up.”

The usually self-assured Kurin looked at Barad in dismay and said, “It has me confused. I love my fleet. They have done some terrible things. My own ship is involved. Are they good people or bad? What about you?” The dismay was real enough but the questions were calculated to obtain a candid reaction from Barad.

Barad’s reply shook her to the keel. He considered thoughtfully before answering. “They’re people, Kurin, with both good and bad. Some few in influential places have abused their positions but most try to steer an honest course.

“Me?” he shrugged. “I’ve been worse than most but not as bad as painted by some. I’ve tried to pick up their mistakes and keep the innocent or merely foolish from swimming to your foster father.”

“You mean like Lenai or Darkistry?”

“Good examples. One of each. Darkistry was raped and framed. Lenai simply got pregnant before she could get legally married. The birth slot that she would have to have taken belonged to a friend who was married and had waited three Gatherings for the Lottery to give her a chance at a child.

Lenai had a good heart. At the small Fall gathering, she went to look for a ship that would take her. While she was looking, her ‘friends’ put her goods on the raft, after pilfering the best of them, and left a note barring her from returning to the Darok. I took her and never regretted it. She was the best sail-lofter and rigging surveyor in the fleet so far as I am concerned.

“Little Arnat alone would have been worth taking her in. My wife was long dead, so I gave her my birth slot.” He smiled softly.

Kurin could not help asking, “Why did you take in Silor the way that you did?”

“For five Gatherings, he was my eyes and ears aboard the Longin, though he would never tell Ship’s Business until the fiasco this last Gathering. When his delusions about you led him to be cast off your ship, I could not help him openly because he was to be a key person in the plot to poison you.

“We picked him up in secret. After he had done his part, I would have given him some education in Arrakan writing and figuring and sold him as an indenture to their fleet, where he would have probably become a good officer in time.”

The blunt revelation left Kurin feeling ill, needing to hide. She pulled herself together and asked, “Who all knew of the plan to kill me?”

“At first, only myself, Mister Morgu, and one other that Mister Morgu picked. I later learned that he was Merk, Master Selked’s apprentice, who was needed to make the poisoned kit.”

“What do you mean, ‘at first’?”

“I was troubled by something about the plot but couldn’t put a finger on it. It nagged at me. I know that doesn’t sound like much but very little that I’ve ever done bothers me. I pay attention when something does.

“Shortly after picking up Silor, I took both Tanlin and Master Selked into my confidence. They showed me the fatal errors in my reasoning.

“Tanlin reminded me that by Arrakan custom and Law I would be forsworn if I went ahead. You and Captain Mord were both at our wedding feast. That meant that our enmity was forever over, or I would lose her as wife. Though it broke both of our hearts, she would have left me. How do I tell you that she is more important to me than even my ship?”

The question was rhetorical but Kurin interrupted to answer anyway. She said quietly, “You don’t have to. You stepped down as Captain to save her. That’s proof enough for me.”

Barad gave her a surprised look. I knew the she’d be intelligent. I had not really expected wisdom.

He went on, “Master Selked pointed out that though I had always treated my old grudge as if it were the Longin that I hated, it was really only Mord that I had any complaint of, and that over twenty Gatherings gone. In fact, the very thing that I held against him was the one time that I had completely bested him. Hardly a reason for hate.

“One thing that I pride myself on is that I can change course immediately when I believe I am wrong. We had that one Ord spine unaccounted, and it worried me because none of us knew where it was. I logged and announced Standing General Orders that any use of Ord was mutiny. I further ordered that if any part of the Ord were to be found still aboard, it should be destroyed.”

Kurin paused to consider what to ask next, thoroughly disturbed by all that she was hearing. “That explains the timing of those orders. I found them in the log and they’ve been mentioned in my other interviews.

“You have also filled in the one hole in what Tanlin told me. She tried to protect you. She told me the truth but left you out of the plot to poison me. Now that you have told me the rest of the truth, I like her even better and trust you more as well.

“Several people have mentioned Purser Morgu’s activities during the Gathering. What can you tell me?”

TO BE CONTINUED

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#SEA DRAGON’S GIFT #Part 62 of 83 #World of Sea #Written by De Writer

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nadiineross · 4 years

Text

chlodine band au

abandoned concept

Already, Nadine feels as if she has retired. Though she has always enjoyed routine, this is something else entirely—monotony.

Every morning she wakes up at the exact same time, drinks the same coffee, rides the same bus to work. Lunch breaks, she takes alone. The street on which she works is designed to appeal to as many people as possible, so everything is generic as it is flashy. When she had first gotten here, she had devised a list of restaurants within a five minute walk which she would try, and she still uses it as a rotation. On Mondays she eats at the American-style diner, Tuesdays are for Indian food, Wednesdays, Mexican, and so on and so forth.

Work is uninspiring and unfulfilling. Head of security in the city’s biggest music hall. The paperwork is dull and the patrols even more so. The only time she feels remotely close to who she was before Shoreline collapsed is when she’s working out at the gym. Even then, it is a poor substitute.

Routine. Simple, straightforward.

Eventually, she might let go of her resentment and learn to be grateful for the fifteen years she had with Shoreline. Now, however, she can’t help but still be bitter, even two years after it had slipped from her fingers. Her father’s doing; he had grown weak and sentimental, and dissolved the company before she could even think to step in for him. He had gone as far as to forbid her from that career and she was nothing if not dutiful as a soldier and as a daughter, even if it angered her to be so.

She hasn’t spoken to him since. She had moved away so she wouldn’t be tempted to continue their never-ending argument, and found her mind-numbing, soul-sucking job working as a cockblock to crowds of groupies when the next big thing deigned to tour in her coastal city.

She had become robotic. She felt as if she were wasting her life away, doing nothing. Though she was not retired according to the official definition of the word, she had been retired from her career as a soldier and, as someone who had cobbled their entire identity around being one, it was as good as true. Retired at 36.

These are the thoughts that plague her every waking moment. It’s not like the job requires of her more than 4 braincells. She has never been good with idle time.

On top of all that, there is a big concert tonight and will be followed by one more the following night. This, she has been dreading in the months that preceded it. The band is native to the city and, no matter what Nadine thinks of them, they are successful enough for the city to treat them as if they were its crown jewels. They aren’t even a real band—there are only two of them. How they coerced anyone to like them with a name like “Drake’s Fortune,” she will never know.

Still, she doesn’t work at The Rolling Stones, isn’t paid to opine, so she keeps it all to herself and does her job: a circuit of the building, double and triple-checking the locks on all the doors, and checking in on all the guards on duty tonight via radio.

As head of security, she doesn’t have a concrete post for the night. It’s more of a rotation, ensuring the gears are in place and well-oiled, at that. Generally, with big concerts like this, she tries to linger near the backstage to stop any zealous fans her subordinates can’t handle on their own. It hasn’t been that bad tonight and even she will admit the music isn’t terrible. But, of course, the band members themselves sound smarmy and obnoxious. From the hall, she hears the lead, Nathan, try to woo the crowd with his boyish charm and she scoffs at it. Sam the drummer and backup singer tags along and she fears she might roll her eyes so hard they become permanently affixed to the back of her head.

Probably, she has just lost her tolerance for people who are unnecessarily loud about how happy they are with their careers. The irony doesn’t escape her, doing what she does. Every other week, a new band or singer parades through town to laugh and scream and flaunt themselves on a stage in fromt of thousands. And she had been tasked with making sure they make it to the next city intact enough to do it all over again.

She misses the rest of the show, called to the entrance, and she is thankful to leave behind the sounds of the brothers Drake. After that, she has to go help out at the backdoor which takes almost an hour to handle. The thick of the crowd has mostly dissipated by the time the clock hits 12:30am and none of the band members had appeared—thank god for that.

It is another hour before she’s finally finished with all her responsibilities. She immediately takes off her uniform top and ties it around her waist, sweat-stained as it is. She has a second tank top and a spare shirt in her office to change into.

It’s on the way back there that she notices she’s lost the only personal affect she takes to work: a bracelet her mother had gifted her at the airport before she’d left for this city. Immediately, she feels a headache coming on.

If her mother found out, she’d be delivered from an early retirement to an early grave.

Bordering on nauseous, she rushes to retrace her steps: backstage, entrance, backdoor. As she’d expected, she comes up empty. Really, what are the odds?

Sighing, she turns back to the backdoor and begins to unlock it. It’s then when it swings open from the inside; Nadine has to jerk back to avoid getting slammed in the face. A woman comes stumbling out, cursing as she misses the step down into the back alley. She’s in a red shirt, tight and cut just above her bellybutton, and a pair of what looks to Nadine like fashionable, upscale cargo pants. In her hand, she holds a phone which she had obviously been watching instead of her step.

Nadine scowls. “Hey, watch it.”

The woman spins around, a look of surprise flashing across her face. “Sorry.” Then, she squints at Nadine, under the neon lights, and her look of remorse fades into curiosity, and mischief, and an infuriating arrogance. “Hey there.”

Nadine only glares and makes for the door. The woman raises an eyebrow and steps in her way.

“I’m not sure you’re allowed back there, love,” the woman drawls, leaning too close into Nadine’s personal space. Ordinarily, Nadine would’ve put this woman in her place instantly, but the confidence and her apparent access to the backdoor leads her to believe she might be with the Drakes in some capacity. She isn’t interested in losing her job over this. “But I’ll be happy to show you to where you are very much welcome.”

Oh, she thinks Nadine is a groupie. She closes her eyes and tries not to fly off the handle. “Christ, I don’t know who you are but I work here and I’m not in the mood for this.”

To her credit, the woman takes it in stride. She sticks her hand out. “Chloe Frazer, touring member. I play bass.”

Nadine stares at her hand. Stares at the wrist attached to her hand. Stares at the bracelet looped around the wrist.

Slowly, Chloe’s smile fades and she drops her hand. “Look, are you lost?”

“Am I— I’m the head of fucking security,” Nadine barks out, near trembling with rage. “And you’re wearing my fucking bracelet, and you’re in my fucking way, and you’re wearing my fucking bracelet!”

Chloe steps back at the sheer outrage in Nadine’s voice.

“Well?!” Nadine thunders.

Sheepishly, Chloe takes the bracelet off and holds it out to Nadine— she snatches it back and tightens it hard enough to maybe cut off circulation.

Chloe clears her throat. “Hey, uh, I found it. I was going to bring it to lost and found.”

Nadine scowls. “Funny, I’ve worked here for ages and I’ve never heard of the back alley lost and found. Must’ve slipped my notice.”

“Actually, the thing is, I was going to make a call first—”

“Save it.”

And Nadine wrenches the door open and slams it shut behind her, and storms her way through the building with a glower so biting she thinks she spots Nathan Drake ducking behind a crate to get out of her way. As it should be.

note: so basically im incapable of giving either of them occupations that arent treasure hunting so it wouldve turned out chloes an eccentric well off treasure hunter who also plays bass sometimes for her friends cos she’s a hot girl and nadine, unhappy w her career, is offered a job by chloe (see: tll) but this is only after nadine n chloe hv been dating for a while:) i dont like this enough to continue it but here ya go

#chlodinefics #chlodine

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

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Hi again, I’m the one that requested about the romantic soulmate and when will it come and yes, please can you tell me more about them? I asked if I’d ever meet them because sometimes it feels like it won’t happen so I’m more like I could wait forever as long as they get here you know? But if you could tell me more, I’d be grateful. Also yes, I know that you can’t give me a specific time but I wonder more like if it’s in the near future or later on in life. Again, thank you💕

This was fun! Hopefully some of this will make sense, even if it’s not straight away lmao if you have any more questions or theres anything else you’re curious about let me know and i’ll see if any of my decks can give us some clues!

So to start I drew 4 attribute cards to try and get a sense of this person’s personality. Each archetype has light and shadow attributes, though it doesn’t necessarily mean all of them will be exhibited. More that they are negative aspects that this person has the potential to fall into (eg: just because the shadow attribute of trickster talks about manipulating others, it doesn’t mean this person is going to be overtly manipulative of you. but they might be good at playing the system to benefit themselves or something like that)

We got:

Trickster - Light attribute: Transcending convention, stuffiness and predictable behaviour / Shadow atrribute: Manipulating others through duplicity

Mentor - Light attribute: Passing on wisdom and refining a student’s character / Shadow attribute - Inability to allow the student to move on to the role of Master. Imparting false instruction

Exorcist - Light attribute: Freeing yourself and others of destructive impulses / Shadow attribute - Fear of facing your own demons

Visionary - Light attributes - Capacity to envision what is not yet conceivable to others. Willingness to proclaim a vision without regard for personal gain. / Shadow attributes - Selling insights to the highest bidder. Compromising your vision to make it more acceptable.

So from these it seems this person will be a little outside the box, maybe they have a particular style of dress which is unusual or a special interest/hobby that is a bit odd. With both mentor and exorcist they may have a background in teaching or social work - even if they are no longer on that path. It might not even be an official degree they have, they might just be particularly aware of the system, maybe they know someone who benefits from AA meetings something like that. It could be as simple as them tutoring school/uni/college students. With the visionary archetype it seems they’d be a bit of a dreamer, probably a creative thinker.

Next thing i did was draw some letters and charms to try and get some more info on what they’re like.

For the letters we got D, E, I, F, R, L, I, O, P - there may be initials in here. with the two Is it might mean this person has double letters in their name. There might also be other words in here to describe them.

I know I’m seeing DILF lmao but also Pride (so maybe they’re lgbt or just proud of who they are/what they have accomplished), Pie (maybe the like to bake?), Leo and fire (so maybe they’re a leo or a fire sign or have a fire dominated natal chart)

have a look what words jump out at you as well and see how you might be able to connect them (i can’t see any names in there but im notoriously bad at anagram things so maybe you can)

As for the charms:

The world on the dice and the eiffel tower both suggest overseas travel, so this person might be well traveled or they might have a specific connection to France.

The shell could represent a connection to the sea or the beach. In dream interpretations shells have a few meanings. They can represent having a hard exterior but being soft on the outside so this person might come across as cold or closed off until you get to know them better. Shells can also be a symbol of wanting protection so it might be that this person has a defensive streak or they are very protective of those they love. Shells are also connected with the goddess Venus and so are seen as signs of sexual pleasure.

words you got here are freedom, sassy and reach(ing) - freedom i think definitely makes sense with the trickster archetype above and maybe the visionary one as well.

You also got the Make Poverty History badge so this person may donate money or time to a charity (or multiple charities). The badge also says Stand Up And Be Counted so it might represent this person being outspoken, especially about things that are important to them.

The hand charm reminds me of the Hamsa symbol, even though theres no eye on the palm. the Hamsa is a symbol of protection or warding off evil. Aside from that, open palmed hands can be a symbol of open communication, so that is definitely a good sign. In dreams palms can also indicate a chance meeting with a stranger who may become a romantic partner so that just ties into what i said in the previous reading about you not having met them yet.

And finally we have 2 different scissor charms. To me this represents sharp - sharp wit, sharp mind, sharply dressed. But scissors can also be a sign of decisiveness, or of a fear of being cut off for something. This person is likely the sort who knows what they want and will go after it. Once they make a decision they stick with it. And once they meet you, they’re not going to want to leave you.

To try and get some more info on how you’ll meet I drew some tarot cards.

7 of pentacles, 10 of pentacles, king of pentacles, 7 of wands, the tower, ace of pentacles.

Look at all those motherfucking pentacles. Just like I said in the previous reading, this definitely has something to do with work. With the king of pents there in the middle I’m inclined to say this person may work at the same place as you, maybe in a managerial role or at least someone higher up the chain than you. Or maybe they just have more experience in the role than you do.

The last few cards are the most interesting. The 7 of wands is a card of conflict or struggles though it doesn’t necessarily have to be negative. It can represent standing your ground or defending yourself or others. The tower is a sign of dramatic and unexpected change, often negative. I pulled a clarifying card for it as well, to see if we could get some info on what this tower moment is and i got the ace of pentacles. The ace of pents is about new opportunities, especially related to money or work.

To me this says something is going to happen that will cause a dramatic change to your work. Now, I can see this going either two way. At it’s most negative this is a conflict, maybe with someone you work with, maybe just the work environment itself. Maybe it’s one of those things where every day becomes a struggle and you start to hate your job and you dont want to be there anymore. This leads to the tower moment of you quitting and finding a new job.

OR, at it’s most positive - the conflict moment still happens, but because of how well you handle the situation you’re offered a promotion or a transfer or something like that. It’s still a new opportunity, it still has the stress and sudden change that the tower indicates, but it’s not quite as negative.

Whichever way it goes, it leads to you meeting or coming into closer contact with this person, the king of pentacles, your soulmate.

(As a side note, in the previous reading we drew the queen of pentacles and now we’ve drawn the king so if you wanted proof that they’re The One, that’s it. Also like, the story these cards tell matches so well with the last reading, the work, the new opportunity im like a little stunned by it)

In an effort to lean more about them and more about when you’ll meet I pulled some romance angels. You got:

Forgiving and Learning - as you release and heal the past, you experience more love in your present moments

Very Soon - clearly decide what you want so that it comes to you now

Keep an Open Mind - your soul mate may differ from your usual type and expectations

Trust - This situation is calling for you to have faith

So, in the context of when will you meet, trust is obviously asking you to have faith that the universe will bring this person towards you even if it seems to be taking forever. And also trust that this person is right for you, especially if they’re different from what you might expect as the keep an open mind card suggests. Obviously the most interesting is Very Soon which suggests that you’ll meet them sooner rather than later. I pulled a number tile as i was focusing on that card to try and get an indication of timing and you got a 3. Now, that could be 3 day, 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years. It might also be a number relevant to the time when you meet them (maybe 3 weeks AFTER something else or maybe 3pm or even you’ll just see the number 3 around a lot as a warning that they’re coming)

And finally. I have a deck of channeled messages. These are things that your person might be thinking or might be wanting to say to you. Take them with as many grains of salt as you like but I figured it could be fun. The white cards are messages from the person, light blue are messages from the deck/universe.

The one blue card we got is They are waiting for you and really I think that sets the tone of all of these cards.

I just dream and wish for everything, I just want you all the time, I lie awake thinking about our future. This person is ready to meet you, they are sick of dating around, sick of the wrong people, they want something real and long lasting.

Please give me time I’ve never felt this way before. You’ll need to wait a little longer before you meet them but not much longer. It’s next to I think we should slow down in reverse, they want this to happen as soon as possible, they are as sick of waiting as you are.

Definitely is designed to look like The Tower card which is very interesting but with this one there is no question of it having a positive outcome, even if it feels hard in the moment it will be worth it.

And finally, I’m too afraid to talk in reverse. It’s likely this person will approach you, there’s no fear there, no worry about what you’ll say. And once they start talking to you they’re going to keep talking to you.

#card readings #this is a long one oof #but man it was fun #i want to get a better container for my charm collection #but then im gonna start using it more often lmao

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gigiree · 4 years

Text

On Sentiment

Le Paon makes a sentimonster who looks like Chat Noir. Adrien now struggles to take care of him and not let him get hurt like the Ladybug Sentimonster was. I GUESS CONSIDER THIS ME JUMPING ON THE CRACK ADRICHAT BECAUSE IT REALLY IS CRACK. THANKS @buggachat. interpret however you want. im going with agape love.

On the day you are made, it is discovered just how powerful sheer emotion can be. On the day Le Paon swipes her fan and the winds give rise to your form, solid and warm, Chat Noir mirrors your wide-eyed wonder.

You are shocked when his green eyes (exactly like yours) narrow with fear. A hiss escapes his bared teeth. Even his hair seems to be on end, puffing all over the place with the static arcing in the air. You think it’s sort of funny.

What is this strange ticklish feeling in your chest? It’s all bubbly. You don’t stop it as it bubbles up and escapes from your throat. Ah! It’s a laugh. You like it. It’s warm and this new existence is oh so cold.

Le Paon’s will prods at your mind. It makes your body want to leap forward. To pounce and rend Ladybug and Chat Noir into black and red ribbons.

You don’t like that.

But still you pounce because your body burns when you don’t.

Ladybug and Chat Noir save your feather from Le Paon’s clutches. Things feel a little warmer. A little scarier because things are out of your control, still.

“What do we do with him?! I don’t...We need to find a place for him. I don’t want him to be hurt. Not like her...” Ladybug tells Chat Noir desperately, running her hands through her inky hair. You want to touch it. It looks shiny.

Chat Noir looks pained. Scared. Not distrustful, but he looks at you like he might look at a spectre. He pinches the bridge of his nose with clawed fingers just like yours.

“We have to hide him. He’s got the same powers as me and he doesn’t have a limit that we know of. And I don’t want a version of me running around Paris up to no good.”

Ladybug laughs.

“You’re usually up to no good. Would there be a difference, Kitty?”

Chat Noir pouts. You smile. You like their humor. It’s funny. You want in. You want to be included. The feather in Chat Noir’s hand is held gently. You can trust them.

“Let me stay with you Chat Noir. I promise I won’t be trouble.”

Chat Noir still looks suspicious. Ladybug sighs.

“It’s probably for the best. You said your house is really big. I don’t have that much room in my home.”

So that’s how you, the doppelganger, ends up going home with Chat Noir.

----

Chat Noir, much to your surprise, is Adrien.

His eyes are still green, but they are no longer exactly like yours.

There’s still the same suspicion in them, but it’s softened by the worry in his eyes as you struggle to slip on the pajama set he gives you. He seems very confused that you are able to take off your suit and glove, but cannot remove your mask or ears.

“H-how...How does that work?” Adrien asks you. Plagg seems unconcerned. He’s already curled up with his cheese on a stinky sock.

Plagg simply says “magic”.

You merely accept it, like you do with everything in this new life. You hadn’t existed up until yesterday. Why question little things now?

“Don’t know.” You say blithely, wincing when you accidentally tear the sleeve of the silky pajamas with your still-sharp claws.

Adrien sighs, but he’s gentle as he extricates your fingers from the fabric and helps you slip it on over your unruly hair. He doesn’t linger. He’s very quick about it.

But you still feel the warmth of welcome in his actions, and it makes you feel at peace. The feeling curls in your chest, warm and content. You let it rise up and lift the corners of your fanged mouth into a grateful smile.

“Thanks!”

Adrien’s smile in return is sheepish, if somewhat uncomfortable. He tucks your feather under his pillow.

“You’re going to have to stay here until we can figure out what to do with you.” He says, then frowns. “Don’t go out without me. Don’t let anyone in this house see you.”

He tosses you a pillow and a soft blanket. You have to sleep on his spare couch, but it’s warm and you are safe and free.

You have no trouble accepting those terms as you curl up sleepily. You dream of red and black ribbons and feathers floating against the stars.

-------

You break your promise. You let someone in this house see you, but to your credit, it was to save Adrien.

They’d called for Chat Noir and Ladybug. You’d watched as Plagg’s magic, sharp and hor, wrapped itself around Adrien’s form. You’d watched as he’d given you a sharp glare with those same green eyes, before leaping out his window.

He’d left the piano music playing from his phone. You’d hid in his expansive closet. But your sharp hearing catches the jingling of a door knob being shaken.

You only think of Adrien. You think of his kindness and his gentle exasperation as he’d brought you food and showed you how to brush your hair and told you how to play a game called Brawl Bros.

You only think of Adrien when you wrap himself in one of his luxury cardigans and sit on the piano bench and set your claws on the bench.

You catch your reflection on the shiny, black surface of the piano and nearly hiss. You will yourself to change. You will it so much that your body burns.

It burns as your ears recede and your mask disappears and your claws shrink a bit.

It is without much fanfare that Nathalie opens the door, merely sees your mop of golden hair moving over the top of the piano, and leaves. She’d bought the ruse.

You stay there a bit more, heaving a sigh of relief. When you look back at your reflection, you are shocked to see that you look a little more like Adrien...but you’re not him. Your corneas are still green. Your fangs still large and your mask has gone away, only to give way to an inky darkness that mars the space around your eyes.

Strange.

You are tired. You take your blanket and your pillow and curl up in the closet to rest. The bed is Adrien’s space. You refuse to take it, in any capacity. You are not him.

-----

When Adrien and you can finally get down the rules for your ability to change your features, he decides it’s safe to take you to school.

“So yeah. This is my British cousin from my mom’s cousin’s uncle’s side. His name’s Garfield. He’s decided to study in Paris for a year.”

Nino blinks at you. Then he blink at Adrien. Then he blinks at you once more.

“The family resemblance is uncanny, man. Your other cousin Felix looks just the like two of you too. Daaaamn.” He finally announces.

Adrien sighs with relief. The arm he’s slung around your shoulder relaxes.

“Hahaha. Yeaaaaah. Family genes are strong. But Garfield, meet Nino.”

“Nice to meet you, bro.” Nino says, offering his hand.

You have it. You have your own name. It makes you so incandescently happy. You feel that familiar bubbling sensation in your chest. The one you know means you want to laugh. You do not hold back. Adrien usually holds back his laughs. Tucks them into the corner of his mouth and releases a modest puff of air when around people he doesn’t feel comfortable with.

You, however, have no such compunction. You were created in Chat Noir’s image. And Chat Noir laughs freely.

So you do.

You reach forward to take Nino’s hand and shake it so hard, his headphones rattle.

Adrien looks embarrassed. Nino looks enthused.

Your sharp hearing catches the whispers of speculation from the class. But Adrien looks relieved and he shoots you a quiet smile that says “good job.”

You are warm and content. You have two friends now.

----

Marinette makes for a wonderful, third friend. She also happens to come with a myriad of others clinging to her wake.

He can’t blame them. She’s so bright and kind, she matches Adrien well.

She takes your hand after you cut it trying to work on your physics project. She uses a pretty, embroidered handkerchief to wrap up your wound. Her blue eyes echo familiar as they peer up at you.

“Up to no good again, Garfield?” She says this, but it’s teasing.

That echoes familiar too. Her small hands are warm.

You’ve already decided that you like her by the time she’s done wrapping up your wound.

“I can help you with this?” She gestures towards the pile of foam blocks on your desk.

You feel a burning on your face. Ah embarrassment. Still, laughter always feels good. So you laugh at yourself. Then you nod.

“Yes please. I’m not all that good with this stuff.”

----

Adrien screams into his pillow.

Plagg looks a bit sad as he curls up next to his boy. You click your claws together in agitation. It seems your base form will always be of Chat Noir’s double. It’s the most comfortable way to be when you want to rest.

A lot had happened today.

You’d stayed out of the way, but your sharp ears had overheard it.

Adrien begging his father to show up for the school’s talent day. His father’s frigid dismissal. Then he’d leapt out the window leaving you behind.

He’d come back. A little angrier, a little sharper. But also resigned. Like he’d given up on something that had been making him happy.

You don’t have to ask much to gather that it is Ladybug. He’d gotten a more final answer.

“She likes someone else.”

You don’t know what to do about that. The one time you’d met Ladybug, you’d thought she was kind. A good person. Remarkable. But you’ve met plenty of kind people who are remarkable in their own way.

Rose was remarkable when she’d made you a bracelet. Juleka when she’d done your makeup for a fun class film. Alya when she’d taken your hand and shoved an ice cream cone into it while you’d hung back from the group. Nino when he’d shown you his wonderful new remixes. Kagami when she’d arm-wrestled you and laughed as she took your arm down. Marinette was remarkable when she brought you eclairs everyday because you’d said once a while ago that you liked them.

Adrien was remarkable when he’d brushed back your tangled hair and asked you to play video games with him. Adrien when he’d shared with you his collection of favorite anime. Adrien when he let you make a mess and try on all the interesting clothes in his closet.

Adrien when he’d handed you your feather in a show of ultimate trust. He’d freed you.

Your chest feels tight? The color green comes to mind, but you don’t think much of it when you sit on the foot of his bed.

“I’m sorry. That...That sucks,” You say quietly. Which is unusual for you.

Adrien doesn’t move, but he moves to face you. HIs gaze softens with sorrow.

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for, Garfield.”

Then you snort.

“I get it now. You named me after a fat, orange cat.”

Adrien rolls his eyes. Good. You’ve distracted him.

“An iconic orange cat.”

“I don’t eat that much!”

Adrien grabs his pillow, startling Plagg and hits you with it. You fall on the bed from the impact. The pillow over your face.

“You’re a good friend, Garfield.” He says after a moment.

Adrien’s laughing. You’re in his space, and it’s okay. You’re his friend.

-----

Marinette likes Adrien. She’s told you this in confidence.

You don’t quite know what to say. Pain is a nasty feeling. It eats away at your chest and kinda makes you want to pounce just like Le Paon had. Pounce away from the source of the pain. Marinette is your friend.

She cries into her hands. She’s been tired as of late. More stressed. Then she’d overheard Adrien rejecting an upperclassman’s confession.

I’m sorry. I like someone else.

She falls into your arms when you offer her a hug.

The tight feeling in your chest returns. It’s painful, but not angry. You know it could easily become a bad thing, but your appreciation runs too deep to do so.

You keep it to yourself, but you get it. You understand Marinette. You really do.

Because Adrien is remarkable and it’s finally hit you that golden things can’t stay.

-----

You hold your feather in your hand. It’s fading.

You and you alone are responsible for this. Choice is a wonderful thing.

You take the shot for Ladybug and Chat Noir. For who you know now are Marinette and Adrien. The people who are most precious to you.

Rena Rouge shrieks behind them, just running up to catch sight of this new Sentimonster’s beam of energy piercing through you.

It was a good life. A short one, but the choice is all yours.

Because you exist. Because you feel. Because you’re you and your friend gave you a name and a home and memories worth dying for.

You feel really warm in their dual embrace. Chat Noir’s holding you. Ladybug’s stroking your hair. Rena Rouge has knelt to hold one of your clawed hands. Carapace watches, grief etched onto his face.

You suppose, you should feel grateful. Although you wish you could’ve spent a little more time with them.

Just a little more. You fade away, a “thank you” the last thing that floats from your lips like a lost feather in the breeze.

-------

You wake.

Their smiling faces greet you. Your friends.

They look a little older. A lot sharper and care worn, but their hands are warm as they stand you up in your shaky, solid form.

“H-how?” You cough out, incredulous.

Adrien laughs. Marinette looks amused.

“We made a wish. We missed you, Garfield.”

You feel that familiar bubbling feeling in your chest. You are breathless as you laugh and that laugh turns into sobs.

It hurts to feel, but it’s such a warm, comforting pain.

You’re glad of it.

#adrichat #adrien agreste #chat noir #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #WHAT THE FUCK GUYS. WE GO ON QUARANTINE AND SUDDENLY WE'RE ON FIRE WITH SELF LOVE

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