#im so sorry i promise im not intentionally ignoring anyone

[wistrearchived]

semi hiatus from september 25 - october 14 because it’s midterm hell week and i’ve got quizzes, assignments, and exams galore! i won’t be around much, writing will be queue based and i’m scarcely on discord. sorry for anyone waiting on replies! please wish me luck to survive these trials :’)

[gwyns]

Is it true that there is an artwork of Lucien searching for Elain while she's banging Azriel? And an artwork of Lucien abusing Elain?

If so, could you or anyone else tell me the name of the artist? I don't want to support them nor see their content. I want to stay far away from that artist.

It's upsetting to me that El/riels have painted Lucien as this abuser. I have been in a extrem abusive friendship before and I know exactly how it feels like to be in that kind of friendship and having such difficulties to leave that friend, because you think you owe them everything and that you're in the wrong. This is one of the things that make me relate to this character. Lucien did try to help Feyre and had to make decisions that were not easy. Everytime he tried to help Feyre, he would get abused by Tamlin. Of course he would try to bring back Feyre from the NC in order to stop Tamlin to make a deal with Hybern + thinking that Feyre is hurting in the NC, because of the reputation that Rhys has. Lucien has seen and heard about the many f*cked up sh*t that Rhys did and he's known for manipulation, so obviously in his eyes, the NC wouldn't be a good option. Even if, Lucien has apologized and made up for it by freeing Vassa and bringing a whole army to fight Hybern. Then, Lucien has never ever done anything to Elain. Tugging on the bond? Feyre told him to find out what is "wrong" with her. Claiming she's "his" in his mind? That was the mating bond speaking and he claimed he is hers as well. Giving Elain presents? He did that on winter solstice and he brought presents for Feyre too. He visits Velaris rarely and it's not even always for Elain. When he's there, he doesn't watch her like a hawk, he talks to the others. It's all funny, considering they're the same people that claim he doesn't care about Elain because he's far away from her. But when he breathes the same air as her, he's abusing her?

Azriel has done and said worse things about Elain. "He hadn't gotten that far with his planning certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to" "yet the third is given to another" "I could easily beat him" + underestimating Elain and going so far as to tell the IC that Elain shouldn't help, when she wanted to. But that is not entitlement, it's all love and "omg he cares so much for her"?! He's worse to Mor even, yet Mor got all the blame. But Is it even surprising? Gwyn had done nothing wrong at all, yet you've seen all the evil theories that include Gwyn's SA.

Abuse is not a godsdamn joke and I'm dissapointed to see people see it as one. It's hurting me 🙁

unfortunately i think these do exist. i haven't seen them myself (thank god) but i've seen enough people discuss them. if anyone can help anon out with who the artist(s) are that would be very much appreciated !!!

i understand how frustrating it can be to see a whole side of the fandom purposefully misread a character and villianize them all for a ship. lucien has always been my favorite and it sucks, it really does, to have so many go out of their way to be so obtuse. lucien tried to help feyre, MULTIPLE times. and if there was anything for him to be forgiven for, she already has so what's everyone's issue? he "wronged" feyre, not you.

i never see lucien antis talk about how literally EVERYONE saw rhys as this horrible, sadistic, monster... bc they did, and you know why? BC RHYS HIMSELF MADE THAT HIS REPUTATION. it is not wrong for a character to be wary of him, especially if they don't know him as well as feyre or the reader does. i don't understand how this concept is so hard to grasp?

exactly anon, ex-fucking-actly. if lucien shows an interest in elain, he's abusive and not respecting her choice, but if he leaves and gives her space, he simply doesn't care!! lucien is the most respectful man in this series. he's showing elain that he would like to get to know her, if she chooses, and giving her the time and space to figure out what she wants. he's doing everything right. if i wasn't already convinced that e/riels haven't read the books, this would do it for me.

YES!!!!!!! azriel has CANONICALLY treated elain as an object. being called "the third" is so fucking gross. he doesn't view her as elain, a PERSON, he views her as a mate that the cauldron "gave" to lucien. i understand that azriel isn't in the best place mentally rn but this behavior is so.... disgusting.

i'm so pissed at how this fandom treats mor. azriel is a GROWN ASS MAN if he can't understand that mor doesn't reciprocate his feelings after 500+ years, that's on HIM. not her. do i think they should sit down and talk about everything? sure!! but it is in no way mor's fault for how he has acted.

don't even get me started on gwyn... the way they treat her is so disheartening. i just know they're awful people irl too.

i hope with the official announcement of acotar 5 that all of this will calm down some, it might be a bit delusional to think this way, but i'm so tired of all the negativity within this fandom. this used to be my safe space but now..... :/

i'm so sorry you have to deal with this, anon. i'm always, always here if you need anything 💕✨

[thesherrinfordfacility]

I am actually curious your thoughts on Aziraphale and accountability as, and I really don't mean this is as an attack (❤️), several of the meta I've read recently have seemed rather uncharitable towards Crowley, and not how I generally perceive his character at all. Which, having certain biases for characters is fine, but I am curious your thoughts on Aziraphale and that 😊

hi anon!!!✨ definitely not seen as an attack; im aware that i do talk a lot about crowley and a good proportion of those opinions/interpretations are definitely more critical than most. and i realise that a good amount of that comes across as biased, but the only thing i can say that i promise i don't mean to be, and tbh - i just find aziraphale so much harder to analyse (and as such, what follows is basically word vomit im sorry)

there are equally multiple instances, in aziraphale's case, where he doesn't appear to acknowledge his own accountability in situations when he arguably should.

to labour on a longstanding example; he lies to crowley about where the antichrist is in s1. i think personally it's important to note why i think he lies; crowley's solution is to either kill a child (specifically, have aziraphale do it) or to run away to alpha centauri and sack off humanity altogether. neither of those options are reconcilable to aziraphale, and i think he keeps the location of adam to himself in order to safeguard him - he similarly gets bad vibes from the archangels, and lies to them too. but when he tries to reach god, fails, and then finds out that the metatron - the next best thing to god and, we're told, is her voice - is absolutely in support of the apocalypse, the first thing he does is ring crowley, and immediately tell him he knows where the antichrist is.

now, im not saying, at all, that aziraphale is apologising by calling crowley, because he isn't. he doesn't admit to having lied, having not trusted crowley (no matter how justifiable that decision might have been at the time), and for leaving crowley in the dark. as far as crowley's aware, from his perspective, aziraphale never lied in the first place. but from the audience perspective, it can be read like aziraphale admitting that crowley was right, and making amends. yes, it's born out of panic that heaven is no longer a solution, and the de facto, last-resort solution needs to be crowley (which comes with its own implications, but again, things have to be pretty dire for aziraphale to even risk the option of killing the child), but it also feels like a silent, 'you were right, you had it right all along, and i see that i was wrong to trust heaven. let my actions speak for me.'

but that's tenuous at best, right? i agree. so, id like to look again at the apology dance, and the circumstances that put them there - the So Did I argument. i have multiple thoughts, that im going to repeat a lot of before, but writing it out sometimes helps me work out what im (eventually) trying to say!

crowley isn't wholly forthcoming/truthful with why he doesn't want aziraphale to help gabriel; it's a bit more than the simple fact of gabriel wanting to throw aziraphale into hellfire. crowley's personal adversity to gabriel are the words he said (as he later admits). it would have been incredibly vulnerable for him to do so, but had crowley spelled out for aziraphale in the So Did I argument why he was so vehement against sheltering gabriel, it may not have changed aziraphale's mind but it would have at least put them on a level playing field. aziraphale, i think, shows crowley exactly why he wants to help him - kindness and compassion, with no ulterior motive than the fact that gabriel just simply doesn't have anyone else.

that being said, aziraphale appears to remain completely ignorant to, or have intentionally disregarded, what the boundaries of 'our side' actually is, especially in crowley's eyes. crowley has only ever meant it to be the two of them, and noone else gets a look-in. i think it's fair to say that aziraphale's perspective is less cut-throat, and more blurry, than that - that he still considers that there should be room for Everything Else. i can imagine that has to feel like a big betrayal to crowley, and in that context it's understandable that he then seems to retract the idea of 'our side' altogether. the heated lines that ensure then detail the conversation entirely:

crowley then storms out, and what aziraphale is left with is the feeling that he is doing the Right Thing, helping someone selflessly, and crowley is refusing to do that (and therefore 'in the wrong'). he's also left with the sense of abandonment; he told crowley about the Something Terrible, that he needed help (something that aziraphale doesn't do often/at all - hence why 'i need you!' hits so hard in the final fifteen imo), and crowley still walked away

so when it comes to the apology dance - crowley is on the back foot purely because of the BOL threat. there's no way he's going to walk away this time, now that aziraphale has been directly threatened - essentially, crowley is trapped into whatever aziraphale wants from him, even if he'll put up a bit of a fight before doing it - aziraphale is steadfast that he deserves the apology dance this time*, that he's in the right

but the one thing they don't do is literally discuss why the dance would be needed in the first place - there's no discussion whatsoever that would even begin to unravel why either way party would be hurt by what the other did. the dance is a farce, one crowley performs with an ulterior motive in mind, but aziraphale only sees it as crowley apologising for the fight.

but what aziraphale doesnt stop to consider is that he may have had a part in it; aziraphale is a highly analytical character, and the equation that he arrives at is, 'argument' + 'crowley doing the dance to mark the unspoken apology (good enough)' = 'crowley was wrong, i was right'. *it doesn't even cross his mind to think beyond the words that accompany the dance, and consider that he had a part in it too. the two of them, for all the lessons that we see them experience in s2, seem to think rather a lot in absolutes - and aziraphale most of all.

i dont think aziraphale magically reaches any kind of epiphany about what he said/did that hurt crowley, and what he therefore needs to take accountability for... unless perhaps we count this?

this is all speculation, of course, but does aziraphale clock that crowley has agreed to help hiding gabriel, have performed the joint miracle, but he might have done it only for aziraphale? it definitely doesn't seem that crowley has suddenly found a hidden, altruistic facet to himself, and he hasn't done it because he considers himself gabriel's friend (quite the opposite, the vehemence in his voice would attest). so, does aziraphale's look signify his realisation that crowley has come back purely for aziraphale himself? that he hasn't retracted 'their side', like aziraphale possibly feared he had, and they are still a team of the two of them? does aziraphale then think that perhaps this is crowley's real apology, and reflects that he needs to reexamine his part in the argument, and how crowley perceived?

as im writing this, it does all feel a bit of a stretch - but it can't be denied that aziraphale then spends the rest of the series, in his very unique (and i say that tongue-in-cheek) way trying to demonstrate to crowley just what 'their side' means to him, what crowley means to him - even if it doesn't quite land 😬 he might not have apologised out loud, but his actions thereafter seem in to suggest that he's aware of what he did wrong. but, in typical fashion, he's trying to speak to crowley in the language that crowley uses with him - he tries to show crowley, when crowley could do with being told.

i think special mention also needs to be paid to the fact that both of them - but especially aziraphale - are absolute terrors when it comes to fucking about with humans. i don't think i necessarily need to wax lyrical about this, but through a combination of messing about with maggie and nina's relationship, fucking about with the two guys in the edinburgh graveyard, the couple in the pub, the whole-ass ball... s2 in particular is a disaster when it comes to aziraphale toying with autonomy and agency, with free will, without any conscience - he doesn't recognise that it's wrong. LWA has pointed out that aziraphale does reach that assessment in the airfield scene of the book, but its pretty clear from his continued behaviour in s2 that this hasn't exactly translated into the show!canon in the same way.

he recognises at the airfield that he was wrong to assume that adam needed to be 'good' in order to make the right call, rather than being simply 'human', but that's not the conclusion that he ought to reach that would indicate that he accepts full responsibility for his actions. this is particularly telling in these two statements:

aziraphale operates in the rather blissful state of mind, in the security, that he is intrinsically good; ive discussed this concept a lot, strangely, when it comes to looking at the metatron and how he might view himself (and speculating on his character being explored in s3), but if aziraphale labours under the same misapprehension that he is completely good, without room for nuance, how can any of his actions therefore be wrong? what does he have to apologise for, if he's always been in the right? (which tbh adds another layer, for me, re: his pissed-off mood when recounting all of the times he did the dance)

i do think he starts to accept the part of himself that contradicts this - his comment on him being light grey in 1941, but also his bashful expression at the end of s1 ("just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing") - but if we consider his inability? reluctance? to admit fault or error, we could surmise that he still largely holds this mentality... until, perhaps, here in ep6? when he realises through the medium of another couple, another angel and demon, that the sides literally do not have to exist?

idk if this has answered your ask sufficiently, anon, and reading it back im wincing at all the bits where im straying once again into the aziraphale bias, but i promise ive tried to be as balanced as possible!!!✨

[vrains-rewrite]

I have a question! If it's uncomfortable to answer, you may ignore my question, I won't feel bad. I promise!

Is there going to be any ship focus? I personally don't ship anyone, but I know other folks do. If there's any, that won't really bother me, since again I don't have any preference. I'm just worried over other folks getting upset their ships aren't represented and I don't really want to see you guys having to change your ideas because of that.

Sorry if my question is a little bit dumb, I just worry for other's well-being too much sometimes ^^'

Nonono thats not a silly question at all, in fact it’s a really important one that we answer

Shipping, in the traditional sense, isn’t going to go much further in this than canon. We aren’t going to say that a ship is canon in this because we like it, nor are we going to intentionally exclude a ship for similar reasons. Me and Void are actually asexual, it really isn’t a massive priority for us (we quite frankly dont think we’d be able to write realistic relationships). (The other creator, who hasn’t logged on yet, Utopia, is not though so i am gonna consult her on that later)

But, what is going to happen is many pre-existing relationships are going to be explored. If relationships are made more complex, people will have more potential shipping material (like from subtext) but whether people actually interpret the content for shipping, or for platonic relationships, or other kinds of relationship even, is something im really hoping is gonna be up to interpretation enough that we dont alienate anyone

- Teal

[txtaetertots]

hellooo all~

i've been feeling kinda icky since last night and i don't feel comfortable updating my au just yet until i address this myself. i hope you don't mind.. and also anyone who didn't know about this i hope you don't get turned off from my aus over this 😭

i've already sent fairybinie a dm about it but i feel like i owe it to their followers to address it to them personally as well because i'm aware they're keeping tabs on me and my smau. i had a feeling that ask i received about my inspiration was a little weird bc people don't normally ask that especially in that manner. thought i was just overthinking it and just brushed it off. but it got the best of me and after some digging i found kdt as well as the asks and comments on fairybinie's blog about me and my smau.

i understand their followers believe my au is plagiarizing fairybinie's au kiss don't tell. and i can totally see how you could assume that given that our synopses are practically identical aside from a few key plot points. same general idea though with the whole hs drama club aspect. and i can assure you that i did not intentionally steal fairybinie's idea. i promise you this was entirely my original idea. it's just a really crazy coincidence i guess.

this idea has been in my drive since 2021. the original idea was slightly different to what i have now but it's still the same main concept. that was last modified a year ago in may 2022. here's a screenshot of the doc details as well as the general idea i had for the fic!

then, january 2023, i revisted the document and drafted the current version in my notes app. i was going to post in january but i was very busy with school so i decided to postpone it until summer when i could ensure i had more time. which is also why a majority of my character profiles list their creation date as january 2023 since.. that's when i created them.. :')

i don't prefer to seek inspiration from reading other people's works (but now i'm thinking i should at least review some when i do get an idea so i can avoid this again bc wow big oof on my end). i usually get it from consuming big media like tv, films, music, etc. which is how i got this idea. i watched movies like hairspray and grease which influenced how the current version of my au came to be.

again. i'm truly so sorry that i've caused so many of you to worry. that was never my intention and i'm sorry it appeared to be that way. and i don't blame any of you for reacting and moving the way you did! it was totally valid and fairybinie is very lucky to have people who care so deeply about their work and efforts. but i hope you accept my explanation and apology or at least understand where im coming from and believe me.

hopefully this doesn't deter anyone from giving my works a chance or continuing to read hopelessly devoted tho.. i was really looking forward to sharing my ideas with you guys but i feel like my name has already been tainted without having a proper chance to even create a name for myself yet 💀 sorrows sorrows

i will be updating my au again soon. had a bit of writers block bc i just could not get this issue out of my head. it felt wrong trying to update and ignore the issue when i know there are people watching me like a hawk with negative connotations. pls don't be mad.. 🥲

((if you don't want to continue reading hopelessly devoted tho i totally understand i mean this isn't the greatest image i've got going on right now but thank you at least for giving me a chance!))

[dragynkeep]

so i saw your post about how blake was outed as a faunus to team jnpr, and how you used a screencap to say that she had no idea that her team told them. now, i havent rewatched that scene for a while so i could be wrong about this, but i just thought blake made that face because jaune almost slipped up in saying she was a faunus. i could totally have misinterpreted that though.

and while i agree that nobody should be outed without their consent, the same could be said about sun blurting out that blake’s a faunus to neptune. i know the question was directed towards why yang and ruby were racist (and i dont disagree with your points at all) but i think it’d probably still be important to note that sun did an actual on-screen outing. i know that people argue you cant be racist to your own race or whatever (not counting any, like, internalized racism) and since sun is a faunus, he isnt really racist to blake. but idk, as someone who was outed to my family, i wouldnt take that mistake very lightly.

i also have another general question. so a lot of people in the fndm say blake’s ears are cute. would you say that’s fetishization or just like, an equivalent of saying someone’s jawline is nice? im not trying to discredit what you were answering, it’s a genuine question bc i’ve said blake’s ears were cute without really a second thought. and idk if it’s different in that circumstance?

sorry for the lengthy ask! im not much of a critic, or a rwby-anti in general, but i do like seeing other people’s thoughts on things. as a bi, brown, and genderfluid person whose been in an emotionally abusive relationship (which are all issues you’ve covered i think), i don’t exactly look to rwby for amazing rep, but i also still really enjoy it. i was actually surprised at how much detail people go into when analyzing it lmao. so bc of that, your blog really intrigued me and i was just curious on your thoughts to this.

Oh yeah, I absolutely do not come with RWBY expecting great rep, and from what we’ve got currently, I’m right in doing so lmao.

As to Blake’s reaction to Jaune, it can be both because he almost blurted it out and because she didn’t tell them. Jaune didn’t say Blake told them she was a Faunus, he said Weiss told them Blake was a Faunus, and adding her reaction to that revelation just adds onto the reading that she was not happy at them knowing. 

There was no one near that could overhear Jaune, especially when Ruby and Yang were screaming about their fake Yugioh game before, and if they wanted to show that it was because he almost blurted it out, they should’ve had it that Blake told them offscreen instead it being Weiss.  

The whole problem with Sun saying that Blake is a Faunus versus Weiss saying that Blake is a Faunus is that these two situations are actually pretty different in context. 

Sun was talking to Neptune about Blake in the scene, and actually started off listing her accomplishments and skills to show how much he likes her and actually admires Blake for who she is, not what she is. Blake being a Faunus came last with Sun accidentally blurting it out, immediately realising his mistake, and telling Neptune not to tell anyone because he knows that it was not his secret to tell.

Even going as far as emphasising it by not even telling their own teammates. When Neptune promises, Sun drops it. This could also just be because they don’t have any lines at all in V2, but neither Scarlet nor Sage show that Neptune ignored Sun and went to tell them anyway. So this instance was a member of Blake’s own species making a mistake due to being excited over making friends with someone of his own race, likely since he is the only Faunus on a team of humans, and from an Academy in a kingdom that is notoriously racist towards his people.

And when he realises this mistake, he’s quick to rectify it, and given that Neptune never mentions it even when in the library with Blake, we can reasonably guess that he keeps his promise and doesn’t tell anyone. 

Now with Weiss. Not only is Weiss a human, but a member of the family that is systematically oppressing the Faunus, and spent the climax of the last volume being openly racist towards the Faunus, and Sun specifically. It would be bad with just a human doing it, but it’s even worse when it’s Weiss specifically.

We don’t see how Weiss told them, but given who Weiss is and the fact that Jaune framed it as her willingly telling them, to the point where he didn’t think of not saying it out loud like Sun drilled into Neptune not to do, we can reasonably assume that this was done intentionally. This wasn’t done in the heat of the moment, and more importantly, Weiss isn’t apologetic for telling Jaune when Blake is clearly upset about him knowing.

JNPR aren’t Blake’s team. She didn’t go to them specifically and tell them her secret, Weiss did that. Compare to how Sun, while still wrong to say it, didn’t do it intentionally and immediately tried to fix his mistake by making sure Neptune didn’t say a word to anyone, not even their own team, on top of just being excited to finally have a close friendship with another minority. Weiss had no reason to tell Jaune or his team who Blake was.

[serialreblogger]

some of your post/reblogs were so relatable to me that more and more I think I may have ADHD (I'm like, at least 70% sure of this and the 30% is me searching for a psychiatrist/therapist that I can trust/afford, anyway) so, since your how to essay post Im talking myself to ask if you have some study tips or tips to focus, anything to help, really. I'm in college and I can't focus to read 2 paragraphs which makes me anxious and makes me procrastinate because I can't study and I HAVE to study so I avoid everything but then I think NOW I have even less time to study and I got stuck in this circle. And because I can't read anything I also cant bullshit my way writing papers that I have to so I don't do this too, so I'm just spiraling more and more with this which also doesn't help with the depression. And I'm so, so SORRY to dump my problems on you (this isn't my intention here) but if you have some tips or don't mind talking about what you do to study I really appreciate it with all my heart.

oh friend, i’m so sorry to hear you’re goin through that, it’s EXTREMELY relatable tho. everything you just wrote basically sums up my entire first year of university (just add in a couple dozen spiralling panic attacks on the basement floor and you’ll be me), and while i wish i had advice i could promise would solve the issue, i don’t... know? that i would recommend doing exactly what i did? because while i made it through university with ridiculously good grades, i also exacerbated a pre-existing anxiety disorder to the point where i literally could not bear being alive for a while there.

but for whatever it’s worth, and bearing in mind that you need to prioritize your own well-being WAY above whatever grades you get on a stupid piece of paper, here’s some tips on how to get through course readings, based on what i’ve learned through blood, tears, trial and error:

don’t read the full two paragraphs, to start. ADHD makes reading academic articles hell, but (and i genuinely don’t know if this is possible for anyone else, the chemical cocktail of debilitating anxiety that was my brain at the time made me do things i otherwise couldn’t and definitely shouldn’t) i did manage to finagle a way to make it work for me.

See, the thing about academic papers is that they’re very nicely organized. every paragraph is dedicated to making an individual point, which is introduced at the beginning and summarized, more or less, towards the end. this means you can get a very handy-dandy trick, because here’s the thing about ADHD brains: we’re VERY GOOD at making connections.

so here’s the trick: you don’t actually have to read the paragraphs. Not the full ones, anyway.

Let’s break it down:

First, what is the overall reading meant to address? What’s the title of the book or article? Is there a heading or subtitle to provide you with extra information?

Second, what is the thesis statement in your paragraph? Yes, every essay has a thesis statement, but every paragraph also has a specific point to make, which is stated in a sort of mini-thesis, typically right at the beginning.

Once you know this thesis statement, the rest of the paragraph is just fleshing out and providing evidence for that statement. You can keep reading if you need more information to understand what the author’s getting at, but once you’ve got that thesis statement, the rest is just there to get in your way.

For neurotypicals, I think, it’s maybe necessary to read this stuff all the way through? I don’t know. What I do know is that, for ADHDers, we tend to be very, very good at making extrapolations from very minimal information, based on all the surrounding context.

You don’t need to do the full readings. You just need to read the first sentence, process what it’s saying, and skip over the rest.

(if the first sentence of the paragraph is nonsense to you, don’t panic. often the first sentence or even the whole introductory paragraph is intentionally confusing, so if there’s something you don’t understand, disregard it and move on to the second sentence, or the next paragraph.

this happens often, because a lot of academic writing is just a power play on the part of the writer. “Look How Smart I Am Compared To You, You Have To Work So Hard To Figure Out What I’m Saying,” etc. Don’t buy it, tho--the true measure of intelligence isn’t how thoroughly you can confuse someone else, it’s how effectively you can share the knowledge you have. Intelligence is useless if you can’t share it.

Do whatever you can to make it through essential readings, but don’t be intimidated by them. If you can’t understand them, it’s not because you aren’t “smart enough,” it’s because they’re badly written.)

Final notes: this process is meant to walk you through reading papers, but it also lowkey applies to a lot of insurmountable tasks in academia.

You look at a 5-page paper, look at your attention span, and immediately despair because yeah, that’s impossible. The solution is not to expand your attention span, because that’s also impossible. So, instead, don’t look at the 5 pages.

Look at an impossible task, and break it down into its smallest pieces.

Don’t look at the 5 pages, don’t even look at the first two paragraphs. Make a plan for how reading a single paragraph might be possible for you (in this case, break the paragraph down into its own components, and skim over most of them in favour of reading only the most necessary portions). Then focus on finding those one or two sentences you need in the very first paragraph. That’s doable.

You do that, and then you move onto the next.

It’s extremely difficult, especially for ADHDers, to limit your mental vision to the most immediate task and stop looking at the big picture, but it’s also necessary. If you can find a way to make the smallest tasks possible for you, you can break the big, impossible ones down until they’re made of tiny chores. You can do tiny chores. You can read one sentence, take five minutes to process it, but you can read it. That’s all you need to be able to do.

Read one sentence. Skip the rest. Move on to the next paragraph. Repeat.

That’s the real secret, the one that got me through university. It’s impossible to complete a biology lab, it’s impossible to read this entire interminable textbook, so don’t think about the impossible tasks. Think about the single step directly in front of you, focus entirely on that, and eventually, the impossible tasks will be done.

(The other thing I recommend is not taking a full courseload. Please, please, please make sure that in addition to getting your schoolwork done, you also have enough time left over for you to truly relax, and not feel guilty for doing so. If you’re getting intrusive thoughts halfway through an essay, but instead of terrible things you’re thinking about your latest favourite TV show and feel like your brain is thirsty to watch it? You’re working too hard. Take it from someone who ignored their own mental needs until it wrecked them past the point of continuing--burnout is not fun, and you deserve to protect yourself from it. Take it slow. Your wants are just as important as your needs, and both are way more important than your schoolwork.)

[giogio-gucci-gangstar]

Polnareff’s Toilet Trauma

@iggybestdoggo Im sorry this took so long but pls enjoy this chaotic tale based off of your own real experiences! 

Summary: The SDC Gang has a scary story time (prompted by Joseph) and they all go around telling their scariest stories. Polnareff’s just happens to be the tragic backstory of why he is scared of dirty bathrooms...

~~~~~~~

“Come on Kakyoin that shit is for kids!” Polnareff called out across the campfire. Kakyoin rolled his eyes, trying to ignore Polnareff’s crass comments about his ‘very true’ ghost story. 

“You think babies are scary? You’ve never known true fear then my friend. I guess the French are just a little tougher…” 

“Oh Polnareff do you have a scarier story?” Joseph was very excited. Probably because it had been his idea in the first place to tell scary stories around the campfire that evening. It was some American camping tradition, but it had been fun so far. Avdol’s story was more mythical and had a moral at the end, Kakyoin’s was just ridiculous (a baby that kills you in your dreams? What sort of nonsense is that?), Jotaro had boycotted the event refusing to speak, and Joseph’s had a beautiful bubble boy, evil vampires, and friendly Nazis which made it very hard to follow. And Polnareff was going to knock all of those out of the water, with his true experiences no less.  

He rubbed the palms of his hands together dramatically leaning into the fire, hoping it would cast some creepy shadows across his face. This was going to be good. 

“Imagine a young, hot french guy-” 

“French fry? You’re french fry in this story?” Kakyoin jabbed, earning a soft snort from the otherwise passive Jotaro. 

“Shut up Kakyoin! This is a true story from when I was in college!” Polnareff was getting a bit flustered so he leaned back into his seat in the sand. 

“It was well in the middle of the night, between 3 and 4 am. The part of night where time doesn’t move like it usually does,” Polnareff paused to shiver remembering what was about to happen next. 

“It was then that I was woken out of my slumber by a sharp pain in my penis” 

“I’m not listening to a story of you masturbating with a ghost!” This was by far the most scared Jotaro had been all night. His face was drained of all blood as he threatened to leave the campfire.

“Nono! Don’t be stupid, I just had to pee!” 

“Polnareff, does it usually burn when you urinate?” Avdol asked, “Because you might want to get that checked out…” 

“Oh stop it! I just had to use the restroom!” Polnareff was about to pout, but he would not let their snide remarks get to him. 

“Anyway, my dorm was in a really old building and there was only one communal bathroom on each floor.” He paused for dramatic effect. But no one reacted. God they must have nerves of steel if the thought of sharing a bathroom with a whole floor of boys didn't send modly shivers up their spines. 

“I slowly slid out of bed, and tiptoed out of my room to the communal bathroom.” He paused again, raising his eyebrows to see if that got a reaction from anyone this time. Nothing. He was living with a bunch of sociopaths. 

“The door creaked as I opened it and the lights flickered to life sporadically around the room. That was when I saw it the first time. Over there, perched on the exposed piping.” Polnareff gestured erratically to a tree, hoping they would turn around and at least be a little engaged. “It hung there, staring at me as the lights continued to flicker around it.” 

“It swayed in an invisible wind as I tried to make my way to the first stall without bothering it. I slid my feet across the ground, trying to make as little noise as possible for fear of disturbing it. I backed into the first stall, never taking my eyes off of it dangling from the pipe. I slowly turned around only to see the toilet was covered in vomit!” Polnareff was hoping that the last part would have made them jump a little bit, yet they still seemed unphased. 

“But then i sniffed again, and a pleasant and familiar aroma filled my nose,” at this point Kakyoin flinched and Avdol looked a little queasy, “tea leaves had been scattered all around and in the toilet!” 

“NO!” Joseph butted in. Finally someone was paying attention to his story! “That's blasphemous how could someone do that to tea!” 

“Mr Joestar, I think it was more like someTHING, because when I turned around to find another stall, the scarf ghost was gone!” 

“This sounds like a shitty Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Polnareff, your search for the perfect toilet is hardly scary.” Kakyoin jeered at him. The little cherry boy was in a sour mood for some reason, and was intentionally ignoring the terrifying nuances of Polnareff’s story. 

“You say that as if I have outlandish expectations for restrooms but I ASSURE you I just want them to be clean! Tea and debris free!” Polnareff took a deep breath before continuing.

“My dear Kakyoin, it already is scary but I promise you it gets worse!” Kakyoin just waited, hoping this would end soon. 

“Anyways. I peeked my head out and around the bathroom, but the ghost was gone! Or so I thought… I quickly backed into the next stall, never taking my eyes off the spot where the ghost once hung until I slid the lock into the stall door. I let out a sigh of relief and turned around, only to see the toilet utterly destroyed! The bowl was split in half and the top tank part? It had been ripped off and flung somewhere I couldn’t see!” Polnareff’s eyes were bulging as he frantically searched his friends’ faces for any sign of emotion. 

“I sprinted out of there, not waiting for the scarf ghost to chase after me. I ran back to my room, vowing never again to step foot in that bathroom. To this day, everytime I see a dirty bathroom I remember that night, and the way the scarf ghost swayed in the breeze.” 

“Wait,” Kakyoin looked a little confused, confusion was good for plot so Polnareff encouraged him, “was the scarf ghost literally a scarf?” 

“YES! It was a ghost scarf that floated around and always hung on different pipes whenever you went in!” 

“So it was a scarf that some people tied to pipes?” Avdol offered. He was trying to sympathize with Polnareff, he really was, but something about this “ghost” seemed off to him. 

“NO! It moved! Remember I saw it dangling from one pipe then it wasn’t there when i left the first stall!” 

Avdol looked between Kakyoin and Mr. Joestar. He couldn't quite read Mr. Joestar’s expression but Kakyoin was looking just as skeptical as he was. 

“Is it possible that the scarf just… slipped and fell?” 

Avdol’s comment was the tipping point for Polnareff. He regretted bringing up such an emotionally charged and embarrassing story. At least he hadn't cried over a Caesar like Mr Joestar. 

[ninaahelvar]

Chivalry Fell On Its Sword (9/23)

Summary: All Arya wanted so to feel normal and go outside of the damn castle. Now, through a series of unfortunate, she’s stuck with a bodyguard that she accidentally flirted with: Gendry Waters.

AO3

A/N: what? two chapters in one week! well one is a joke chapter, we get productive. i'm only here for the laughs. xx and i did promise slam poetry so,.......

10:31pm - Arya: So, what youre saying is that you were awkward cause you could see through my blanket? 

10:32pm - Gendry: dude, your nipples were showing through it, it was a turn on and then because incredibly awkward when your fucking mum walked in.

10:32pm - Arya: and everything else?

10:32pm - Gendry: fucked up universe keeping us apart, sorry

10:33pm - Arya: awwww you’re so cute when you’re desperate 

10:33pm - Gendry: i don’t think you’re allowed to complain when you fucking yell at me in a hallway begging me for an answer for something i wasn’t intentionally doing 

10:33pm - Arya: i stand by my reaction 

10:33pm - Gendry: ok then 

10:33pm - Arya: alright 

10:35pm - Arya: soooooooooooooo

10:35pm - Arya: you still in the palace? 

10:37pm - Gendry: You’re seriously horny right now? 

10:37pm - Arya: aren’t you 

10:38pm - Gendry: literally always, but i’m still in my meeting 

10:38pm - Arya: i’ll send you nudes to keep your spirits up 

10:42pm - Gendry: pls for the love of the gods, don’t, cause my spirits won’t be the only thing that’s up 

Arya chew on her lip as she read over his name. His apology. His casual confession of love. And she beamed. 

10:43pm - Gendry: can i see you later? 

10:43pm - Arya: yes

~~~~

Bran wheeled up to the stage, a few stares and whispers as one of the wheels caught on the last step. In the end, the manager of the club and a few bystanders had to help him. It wasn’t embarrassing, just a little awkward to have three grown men fondling his chair and not him. 

He had invited Arya, who happened to bring along Gendry - funny how her security followed her absolutely everywhere, but Bran wasn’t. He thought it may have been some ableist crap, but when he saw Arya’s hand on his wrist as Bran edged towards the mic it was clear what the real reason was. Also the hickey on his neck was a dead give away. 

Bran cleared his throat and Arya and Gendry stopped speaking. The open mic night was his idea. Bran had worked up this plan for a while, knowing full well he could get away with it - but now he was here, and only confidence and determination ran through him. Chaos wheeling - if you will. He took a breath, then spoke into the mic. 

“I’m a theology major, I can take confession, even with this wheelchair condition. My legs stopped working when the car flipped, now it seems like I’m the one that’s dicked. I make light of the frame that holds me, even when it’s the thing that has made me lonely. I smile and wave, even when no one thinks I’m gay. The wheels tend to avert the eyes, even when I wanna talk to guys. I hear sympathy from women across the world, but I can still make your world whirl. I don’t wanna talk about how the chair feels or what kind of drink I want with my meal - I’m a grown ass man, a man that just can’t stand. I’m filled with love and wanting, and I’m a fun guy that deserves some flaunting. I’m a theology major, I can take confession. And yes, to answer your question, my dick does work, and I have a suggestion. Either mind your business, apologise for the transgression. Or date me, I can still fuck, no repression, in succession, with or without discretion.”

When everyone was roaring with laughter, and Bran was helped from the stage, he wheeled over to Arya and Gendry’s table. They were trying hard to catch their breaths, hands on the ribs as they tried to form sentences. 

“Your highness,” Gendry started before promptly bursting into laughter, patting Bran on the shoulder as he wheezed out another laugh.

“What the fuck was that?” 

“I wanted everyone to know that I still fuck.” 

The pair looked at each other before banging their hands on the table, the entire venue a stream of laughter. It made Bran happy. 

The next day, Robb texted the group an article. 

TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’ 

9:40am - Robb: “Prince Bran does the worst, most inappropriate poem at an open mic night”

9:40am - Robb: What the fuck did you do?

9:41am - Arya: 

9:41am - Rickon: YOU FUCKING DIDN’T!!!!

9:41am - Sansa: i thought you were joking! 

9:42am - Bran: I’m single, and the people deserve to know that my dick still works 

9:42am - Jon: He’s right

9:43am - Davos: PRINCE BRAN - YOU DID NOT SAY THIS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE 

9:43am - Arya: he said, and a quote ‘to answer your question, my dick does work’

9:44am - Davos: I might actually have a heart attack 

9:44am - Rickon: HE NEEDS SOME MILK

9:45am - Davos: i think this is it for today. I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed. 

9:46am - Rickon: press f in the chat for a fallen brother 

9:46am - Robb: oh...that’s cold davos 

9:47am - Sansa: this year we lost our dear brother bran

9:47am - Bran: quit telling everyone i’m dead 

9:48am - Sansa: sometimes i can still hear his voice 

*

The Memes of the Royalest Kind @TheRoyalMemeFamily: The family portrait for the Stark siblings is FINALLY out!

@TheRoyalMemeFamily: they are dressed in traditional Winterfell garments - only the royals now wear them. And they stink. 

RobbWinterfell: @TheRoyalMemeFamily how can this be a family portrait if i’m not there 

TheRoyalMemeFamily: @RobbWinterfell ohhhhh…..you must be that imposter king. We know you’re related to the actor Richard Madden

Sansa Stark of Winterfell @PrincessSansa: also, the only reason Arya likes wearing this outfit is cause hers comes with a sword

@TheRoyalMemeFamily: @PrincessSansa can confirm this outfit was made for a child

@AryaStark: @TheRoyalMemeFamily @PrincessSansa still as sharp as a real sword 

*

@wetbreadvevo: so...the fucking starks have been posting pics from their family photoshoot this entire time and no one has questioned it? What the fuck 

*

3:14pm - Jon: hey, mate, you know Richard Madden in gonna be at this event night, right 

3:15pm - Robb: fuck….are you serious? 

3:16pm - Jon: yep, saw the guest list last night 

3:17pm - Robb: *typing*

3:17pm - Jon: yes it’s too late to cancel 

3:17pm - Robb: fuck 

3:18pm - Robb: can we just avoid him the entire night? 

3:18pm - Jon: I mean sure but it’ll be a bit rude 

3:19pm - Robb: okay new plan, I’ll greet him at the event, but if you see anyone taking pictures, tackle them to the ground 

3:19pm - Robb: I don’t need the girls finding photographic evidence that I’ve met him

3:20pm - Jon: you know that I know you’ve met him before right 

3:20pm - Robb: yes...but the girls are gonna give me so much shit, especially if we look buddy-buddy in the photos

*

TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’ 

8:20am - Sansa: so

8:20am - Sansa: richard madden was at that even last night huh? 

8:20am - Sansa: the fuck robb 

8:21am - Robb: i’m very proud of my ability to ignore the man all evening 

8:22am - Jon: he hid behind a plant at one stage 

8:22am - Jon: yes, everyone noticed 

8:23am - Bran: who’s the idiot now

8:24am - Arya: still you 

8:25am - Bran:

*

The Memes of the Royalest Kind @TheRoyalMemeFamily: rare photo of Arya Stark growing up

*

TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’ 

2:11am - Bran: you guys 

2:11am - Bran: anyone awake 

2:12am - Arya: yes but i’m trying to sleep 

2:13am - Bran: too late now fucknuts

2:14am - Bran: you ever think about davos hears the message alerts for this chat and just kinda….dies inside? 

2:15am - Sansa: oh for sure 

2:16am - Jon: I’ve seen his eyes close and pray for it 

2:18am - Robb: once in a meeting, i swear i saw him almost throw his phone across the room cause you guys wouldn’t shut up and he doesn’t know how to mute his phone 

2:20am - Rickon:

2:25am - Davos: i think this is how you kids say it 

2:25am - Davos: mood

2:25am - Bran: DBIGIWEBGOUWR

2:25am - Arya: IUQWBIUBUIBUIBIUNOI

2:25am - Sansa: WTFFFFFFFFFFFF

2:25am - Jon: i’m fucking dreaming 

2:25am - Rickon: I CAN’T BREATHE 

2:25am - Robb: im

2:26am - Arya: WHAT IN THE WORLD IM LIVING 

2:26am - Davos: go to bed

*

The Memes of the Royalest Kind @TheRoyalMemeFamily: a queen can party 

@PrincessSansa: @TheRoyalMemeFamily we stan a legend

Mother of Dragons @QueenDany: @TheRoyalMemeFamily @PrincessSansa i seem to remember this was at least two bottles of wine in for you 

@PrincessSansa: @QueenDany @TheRoyalMemeFamily pretty sure you were 4, but who was counting 

*

@DailyMail: it’s highly inappropriate for a sitting monarch and other royal members to be out drinking and showcasing that online - read the article here 

@QueenDany: @DailyMail 

@PrincessSansa: @QueenDany @DailyMail 

*

The Memes of the Royalest Kind@TheRoyalMemeFamily:Royal bodyguard spotted yet AGAIN with a different model

@TheRoyalMemeFamily: who is he 

@PodrickPayne: @TheRoyalMemeFamily 

*

Arya ‘Not Today’ Stark @AryaStark:

@JonSnow: @AryaStark 👀

@PrincessSansa: @AryaStark 👀

@RealBranStark: @AryaStark 👀

@RickonStark: @AryaStark 👀

@RobbWinterfell: @AryaStark 👀

*

@RickonStark: 

@RickonStark: That’s it. That’s the tweet

*

8:29pm - Pod: so what youre saying is that i’m a chad? 

8:29pm - Sansa: no a himbo is necessarily a chad 

8:30pm - Pod: im more himbo than chad 

8:31pm - Sansa: you can be a chad if you’re not a himbo but you can’t be a himbo if you’re not a chad 

8:32pm - Gendry: you guys know this is the group chat right? 

8:33pm - Sansa: now gendry is a chad 

8:35pm - Gendry: low blow sansa

[vincent-frankenstein]

#10 on the second drabble list? Idc what ship because you write each and every ship amazingly

10: “I’m right here, okay?”

this was supposed to be a drabble how did i end up with 1.5k this is such a mess im sorry

Title: Romantic Flight

Summary: Virgil’s afraid of heights. Roman thinks he can help. Wing! Au

Pairing: prinxiety

Warnings: none i think??? ask to tag 

It wasn't often that Roman got to show off his part of the mindscape. The others were always too busy, to his great chagrin. It was disappointing, to say the least, especially considering how proud he was of his imagination realm — but he never pushed it too much.

But, well. Until now. Circumstances had changed. Now he had a quest to complete, a friend to help. There weren't any extremely pressing matters to attend to, nothing he couldn't finish later. He could make time!

He spent a while ensuring the imagination realm was just right for the day he had planned. A clear blue sky with just enough perfectly puffy clouds, sprawling green fields of fragrant flowers, framed on one side by a towering mountain range; anyone would be stricken speechless by the beauty he'd created, especially —

"Tell me why we're here again?"

Okay, most people would be stricken speechless. A certain emo would only be stricken suspicious. "Okay, so, you remember the other night when we had that sleepover, and we played truth or dare?"

Virgil nodded slowly. "...Yes?"

"And you remember when I asked you 'if you could get rid of one fear you have, what would it be?'"

"Yeah?" Virgil blinked. "Fear of heights. So it'd be easier on everyone when we have to fly places."

"Exactly!" Roman grinned. "And I said, 'some immersion therapy might help you,' and you called me a nerd and said I was spending too much time around Logan?"

"First, you are a nerd. And a dork. Second, what does this have to do with your realm, Princey?"

Roman huffed, ignoring Virgil's insults, and spread his arms wide. "Welcome to your immersion therapy!"

His reaction wasn't exactly what Roman had pictured. No applause, no excitement, no proclamations of undying love — wait, what?

No, Virgil just stood there, eyebrows furrowed. "Right," he said slowly. "And how exactly is a pretty field gonna help me get over my fear of heights?"

"Oh no, Finding Emo, it's not the field that's going to help you. It's what we're going to do in it. Or, rather, over it." Roman winked. "How do you feel about a bit of flying?"

"A bit of what?" Virgil took a step back, eyes widening.

"Flying!" Roman repeated. "I'll be with you the whole time, and you can't get hurt in the imagination realm so long as I'm here, so there's no reason to fear! You can get as used to heights as you need to without any danger!"

"That's — that's pretty nice of you, Princey, but I-I don't —"

"Ah, you don't have to if you're uncomfortable," Roman said quickly, realizing he might have gotten a bit ahead of himself. "I just thought — I mean, I thought it would help, but if it would make you uncomfortable you needn't try."

"I..." Virgil hesitated. "It's safe?"

"I swear it on my honor as a prince," Roman said seriously. "I would never intentionally put you in any danger, Virgil. I promise."

"Right." Virgil didn't quite meet his gaze, his pale cheeks dusted with pink. "How do we do it? Think happy thoughts or some shit like that?"

"I appreciate the Peter Pan reference, but no," Roman said with a laugh. "Stand back and prepare to be amazed!"

He flexed his shoulders, snapped his fingers, and grinned as he felt the familiar weight settle on his back, shifting his center of balance ever-so-slightly. Virgil gaped, eyes wide.

"Like what you see?" Roman teased, spreading his wings out to their full length. Okay, so he was showing off a bit, but could you blame him? Virgil was the first side he'd ever taken flying. He was the first to see Roman's wings. He was allowed to be a little proud.

"Do they work?" Virgil asked hesitantly. Roman huffed.

"Of course they work!" He wrapped his wings around himself, soaking in their warmth. They shined in the sunlight, a beautiful shimmering scarlet to match his sash. "This isn't my first time flying, you know."

Virgil didn't answer. He stepped forward, expression more open than Roman had ever seen, and his hand raised as if to touch Roman's wings. Then he shoved his hands in his pockets and his expression closed. "So you're gonna give me... wings... so I can fly with you and get over my fear of heights."

"Yes!" Roman said excitedly. "Ah, unless you say no, which you absolutely can —"

"It's worth a shot," Virgil said quickly, before he could stop himself. "Just. Just do it."

Roman made an excited noise, his feathers puffing up with joy. "You're sure?" he asked one more time. "I may have rushed into this, and —"

"Roman," Virgil said sharply, cutting him off. "It's chill. This could help."

Roman bounced on his heels, beaming with excitement. He took a moment to think, crafting the perfect wings for Virgil in his mind, and then he snapped his fingers. Virgil gasped, stumbling backward as two massive black wings appeared on his back.

"Holy shit," he whispered, spinning awkwardly as he reached back to try to touch the soft wings. At first glance, they seemed like inky black, but wherever the sunlight touched, they glowed iridescent purple. Unsure and hesitant, he spread them out to their full length.

"Do you like them?" Roman asked, and he'd be lying if he said his voice wasn't at least a little bit awestruck. Wings suited Virgil.

"Roman, these are..." Virgil awkwardly wrapped one wing around himself to look at it, his eyes wide and his voice quiet. He ran his hand along the soft feathers, awe shining in his eyes. Then he schooled his expression into the most chill one he could manage, shrugging nonchalantly. "...Cool. They're chill."

High praise, coming from Virgil. Roman beamed. "I designed them with your emo aesthetic in mind," he said with a laugh. Stepping up beside Virgil, he laced their fingers together, ignoring the way Virgil's touch sent heat rushing to his cheeks. "Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Virgil said, shoving his free hand into his pocket. His wings bristled nervously and Roman squeezed his hand, offering him a reassuring smile.

With one beat of his mighty wings, Roman lifted off the ground. Virgil squeezed his eyes shut and managed to wobble unsteadily in the air for a moment before stumbling back to the ground.

"Come on, Bren-done Urie," Roman encouraged, subtly snapping his fingers behind his back to lower the gravity in the imagination realm ever so slightly. He tugged on Virgil's arm as Virgil beat his wings with as much force as he could muster, and together, they shot up into the air.

"Shit!" Virgil cried, flapping his wings instinctually to keep from falling back to the ground. "Holy shit, holy shit —"

"I'm right here, okay?" Roman said. His stomach was flip-flopping madly, and he had a nagging feeling it wasn't from flying. "I've done this a hundred times, Virge. I've got you. Just focus on staying in the air."

They weren't very high up, barely ten or fifteen feet, but Virgil still looked at the ground beneath them as if it was a hundred miles away. "We'll start low," Roman said, slowly starting across the field and beckoning for Virgil to follow. "When you're ready, we can get a bit higher."

Virgil wasn't ready for quite a bit — but that was more than okay. As time went on, his flight became less wobbly and more certain, and he even tried to copy some of Roman's swooping dives, though he always pulled up with a yelp before he got too far. Roman adored the feeling of the wind coursing beneath his wings and dancing through his hair — but when Virgil grinned up at him, shaky and pale but happy, well... Roman had never adored anything more. It took only a thought to extend the field, to send some towering trees shooting up from the ground, and they dove through the forest together surrounded by laughter, racing side-by-side.

And when Roman reached the end and beat his wings powerfully, shooting up the side of the mountain and aiming for the top, Virgil following, not yelping with fear but whooping with joy, and Roman's heart leaped with joy to match. He landed on the top of the mountain and spread his wings, closing his eyes in bliss as sunset-light washed over his face. He heard Virgil land behind him and stumble to the ground, panting heavily.

"I take it it worked?" Roman asked, turning to find the biggest grin he'd ever seen on Virgil's face. Virgil pressed his hand to his chest, trembling from head to toe, his feathers puffed and shining.

"That was — that was insane," he managed. "Completely fucking insane."

"The best things in life often are," Roman said, striding over. "So? Are you still afraid?"

Virgil looked out to the scene spread beneath them, the gorgeous field bathed in the warm glow of the sunset — and then his gaze slid over to Roman's face. Silence reigned as they gazed at each other, and Virgil hesitated, biting his lip. "No," he said softly, and closed the distance between them to press his lips to Roman's.

[uproarhq-blog]

Hey so the app keeps messing up for me on both of my characters so if anyone has tried to message me for a conversation I'm really sorry. For example I know Trevor tried to message me and I didn't get a message until I ended up going to message him on hangouts. I'm not intentionally ignoring anyone at all I promise. 🖤🖤

We’ve all been there when we’ve realised someone tried messaging us and we didn’t see it! Maybe if you’re unsure if someone has received your message on GH or not then drop them an IM on here to see if they’ve got it or not??

[zareleonis]

Hi! I was wondering, do you ship Sabezra or find them as friends?

@thebeth02 i promised you i’d answer this I’M SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG (and IS so long haha)

tl;dr version is no i mostly prefer sabine and ezra as friends/siblings and i don’t HATE the concept but also i honestly think sabine is a lesbian SO YANNO ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

UNGODLY LONG VERSION:

if you asked me this circa season 1 i’d pretty firmly say no, i don’t like sabine and ezra as a couple. now i would say it’s still not really my thing but im…. more okay with the concept i guess? mostly because they BLESSEDLY dropped ezra’s SUPER AWKWARD crush on her.

like just. the scenario of “boy with crush on girl who is very clearly NOT INTERESTED” is just a huuuge turn off for me. sabine is consistently irritated with his awkward flirtations. doesn’t hate it enough to tell him to fuck off, but she either rolls her eyes or has a teasing comeback for him every time. she didn’t think of it as a serious issue so she just tried to ignore it. i don’t go for stuff where a girl is really plainly not into a boy who likes her, as sabine was. i don’t like the implications of that AT ALL.

and ezra’s crush well.. ezra’s rebel journal and bits from the rebels novelizations by michael kogge show that it was pretty heartfelt (check waaaay back in my ‘ezra and sabine’ tag). but even so, sabine’s assessement in ‘sabine’s rebel sketchbook’ of “he’s like a 14 yr old kid he’ll get over it” was Prettyyyyy accurate nonetheless.

i think his crush was a function of two things. one, the really standard situation of a teenage kid totally knocked off his feet by a SUPER COOL slightly older girl – she makes AWESOME EXPLOSIONS!! and DYES HER HAIR! and can PAINT amazingly!!! and two, ezra’s tendency at this point in his life to latch onto anyone who is nice to him and doesnt abandon him. he was a super sad and lonely kid. after his initial reservations he latched onto the entire ghost crew super quickly. same with ahsoka and rex. i think him getting a puppy dog type crush on sabine in this situation

since ezra got over that crush, i’m a lot more amenable to the IDEA of them as a couple i don’t like the idea that oooh he’s secretly still harbored those feelings the whole time. i dislike it for the same reasons i didn’t like the fact he had that crush in the first place. just that “if you wait long enough EVENTUALLY she’ll see the light” is icky to me.

BUT i think, as sabine and ezra have grown closer the mutual respect, care and admiration is all there. these kids love each other a lot, period. i can buy a scenario where Something More™ grows out of that, as long as it’s completely unrelated to ezra’s intitial crush. i like situations where two people who care for each other deeply for a long time experience a shift in their relationship where those feelings develop into a different kind of love, and they figure out where do they go from there.

ultimately though, i just love sabine and eza WAY TOO MUCH as friends/siblings to seriously entertain the pairing. i love the way they mess around and tease each other like brother and sister. i love how they fit into the little family the entire ghost team has built. it warms my heart a lot. the loving and close relationship sabine and ezra have just makes me SUPER SUPER HAPPY 😊

i think the brand of teasing that goes on between sabine and ezra fits really well for people who have a sibling relationship but not-so-much for romantic prospects. like, teasing your kid brother and bickering because as much as you love each other, you get on each other’s nerves, THAT i adore so much.

the other thing is i honestly just think sabine is WAY TOO GAY to ever like ezra That Way 😹 if there was ever a character who makes way too goddamn good a lesbian for me to pass up it’s sabine wren hahaha. my lesbian senses just Know 😜 i mean does sabine EVER look like a lesbian?? if i didn’t know better i’d even say she intentionally looks that damn gay 😹🏳️‍🌈 also sabine totally has it SUPER BAD for ketsu.

and uh (MAJOR PROJECTION TIME SORRY), i know sabine’s Issues with her family mostly stem from other stuff in canon buuuu~uut. i relate to it a lot and YES it has to do with me being gay so that resonates with me too. it’s important to me on a personal level in terms how i relate with sabine’s story, but it’s also something that could very plausibly add another REALLY interesting layer to her relationship with her family.

ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK AND READING THIS ENTIRE STUPID THESIS ON SABINE AND EZRA. IF YOU ACTUALLY READ ALL OF THIS YOU DESERVE SOME SORT OF PRIZE

[xnchxntmxnt]

Chapter Two - Turtleneck Sweater

“So it’s...Elliot?”

“Yup.”

“Not a name I'm used to hearing, sorry.”

“Well, neither is Decius, but hey,” they shrugged. “Anyway, you’ve had a better reaction than others have.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“No need to apologize, Koushi, nothing you can do about it. I’ve learned to accept it.”

He smirked, nudging their arm with his shoulder. “Hey, at least I don’t get an ego hit anymore when you wear those basketball sneakers you loved so much in middle school. Nothing wrong with a dude being taller than me.”

Elliot laughed, taking a sip from his (new) monster. Since they knocked into each other, they started catching up (and he was nice enough to get him another monster). They hadn’t realized how long it had been since they last spoke, but it was nice to be in each other’s presence again. After all, the other was the reason they both made it through middle school.

It was safe to say, Elliot had missed his best friend. It had been too long since he and Suga got to spend time together.

Moving to Tokyo for their dad’s job left Elliot heartbroken and unsure of what to do—they weren’t exactly the friendliest person (understatement) and had trouble making friends in real life (also an understatement). Moving away from Sugawara was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do, but in the last two years, it was almost like it didn’t matter

Which was a really, really bad way of putting it. But it was the best wait he could think to explain. Over the last few years, they’d grown apart and rarely talked despite being so close from the age of five on up.

Then again, he never did well in awkward situations. And things had been awkward when he left. He never wanted to overstep anything, so kinda stopped answering his phone. Not intentionally—he never ignored Suga—but would go a couple of hours without a reply, then the other would go a couple of hours. Hours turned into days and days turned into not knowing how to start a conversation.

Which, again, was his fault. At least partly.

“There’s always that,” he laughed. “Seriously, though, thank you for being so chill about this, man. I appreciate it.”

“No problem, El—if that’s who you are, that’s who you are, y’know? Oh, am I allowed to tell my bandmates? They’re good friends of mine, but I’ve talked about you a lot the last couple weeks.”

“Yeah, sure—wait, that’s why you’re here?”

In the ten minutes of them talking and sitting on the curb, neither thought to mention what they were doing there.

“Yeah! That battle of the bands thing! You didn’t see us yet?”

“Not yet, no—then again, any time I’m not playing or practicing, I’m more worried about writing. I leave it to Akaashi to get videos for me.”

“So you can overanalyze them later?”

“You get it!”

“Same dumbass I knew in middle school, then,” Suga laughed, pulling out his phone to check the time. “Ah, hell—told my friends I’d be back in 15 and it’s been almost 30. I gotta get going, but text me later, okay? We gotta catch up sometime this week.”

“We do! Yeah, I gotta head out, anyway, no worries. Text me when you’re bored and we can talk for a while.”

“Sounds good.”

The two of you stood, Suga offering his hand to help them up. They took it with a grin

“I’ll see you later, then,” he asked, keeping their hand in his. With one look, they knew what he was thinking. They spun him, then he spun them around, the two of them high-fiving among several different moves they came up with as little kids.

They broke away, laughing. After all these years, they still had it.

They said their goodbyes again and headed off in different directions. He thought a lot on his way over to Bokuto’s, though—Suga had grown up a lot in the last couple of years. One would say he was pretty. Definitely pretty, actually. Maybe cute.

Unfortunately, the further he walked, the more he thought. And the more he thought, the closer he came to the decision.

Ah, shit. Cute boy.

♬♬♬

Within a couple of minutes of walking, he arrived at Bokuto’s place to hang out before Akaashi and Hiraku came over for practice. They rarely exchanged small talk anymore—three years of extremely close friendship will do that to someone—and Elliot just followed him to his room.

“Had to come out again today.”

“Oh, fun! Not fun? I dunno, how’d it go?” Bokuto asked, flopping backward on his bed. He kicked his fluffy blanket to the bottom, leaving room for them to sit.

“Well...not bad, at least. Just a little weird.”

“I get the feeling you’re gonna talk for a couple of minutes.”

“I don’t have to—“

“Elliot, no, that was a joke.” He sat up, grabbing his hand. Bokuto smiled gently, reassuring him as best he could. “Tell me about it. What happened?”

They squeezed his hand gently, glad for the extra comment. It was a common process: talking/thinking about too much gender stuff -> overthinking -> a little too much anxiety -> self-doubt or crabby mood. As many mood swings that Bokuto had, they knew how to get the other to cool off. Both knew Akaashi was the best with them, but they made do with what they had.

“You remember I moved here after middle school, right?” Bokuto nodded, so they continued. “Before that, I was in Miyagi, all that fun stuff. Anyway. A really old friend of mine is in town for the battle of the bands and I got to talk to him today.”

“Was he shocked?”

“Oh, not really. I’ve always been a little ‘different’ when it comes to style—hell, I started shaving designs into my head when I was...I think ten? Maybe nine. But he said he was happy for me and if that’s who I am, that’s who I am, y’know?”

Bokuto smiled, squeezing their hand. “That’s awesome! Love it when that happens. Good for you for telling him, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Elliot said, smiling awkwardly at him. They took their hand back, beginning to pick at their nails (like usual when thinking too much).

Bokuto took their hand back and leaned over to his bedside table. He grabbed a marker and handed it to him. “Draw me something pretty. No picking.”

They laughed, hanging their head for a second. The laughter increased when he started poking their arm, screeching, “don’t! Hide! Your! Smile! Elliot!” between each poke. It was a nasty habit of theirs that they were trying their best to break, but Bokuto helped a lot with it.

So, they took the marker and started drawing.

About a half-hour and several games of Uno later, Bokuto had both hands full of doodles and designs while they talked about anything and everything.

Somehow, they managed to get onto the topic of love lives.

“Look, dude, I am determined! I’m gonna get a girlfriend by the end of high school! Or a boyfriend. Probably a girlfriend though cause I dunno about the guy's part. But it’s a possibility!”

“Keep telling yourself that, Bo,” they rolled their eyes. He was so in denial, really. They and Akaashi had a bet going.

He pouted. “Hey, well, you’re not doing any better than me! At least I like someone.”

“So you admit it!”

“Not my point!”

They laughed, running their hand through their hair. “I mean, if you’re that competitive, there might be someone…”

“AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME???”

“Oh my god, shut up, Bokuto!” They swatted his arm (gently) and grabbed a pillow (proceeding to hide their face in it.

Bokuto only continued to pick on them for it. He tried taking the pillow from their vice grip, asking more questions and even tried rolling them off the bed, but they wouldn’t budge.

“Just WHAT am I your best friend for if you DONT tell me who you have a crush on??” he demanded, finally pulling the pillow out from under their arms. He then hit them with it before discarding it.

“Fine fine fine—if you want to know so bad, you have to guess.”

“But you’ll tell me if I guess correct?”

“No promises.”

“You’re horrible!”

“You love me. Take a shot at it.”

He thought for a moment, a starry, stupid look in his eyes. “OOH OOH OOH, DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON ME?”

“You’re disgusting.”

Bokuto clasped his hand over his chest, falling back on the bed like he’d just been shot. But very over dramatically. “You’ve wounded me!” Elliot kicked his leg and he shot up straight. “Okay, okay, okay, fine. What about...ooh, what was your friend’s name? Suga...sugaworo khaki?”

“Sugawara Koushi?”

“Yeah, that’s it! Him!”

Elliot sighed. There might have been some...feelings in middle school. But nothing they ever acted on. Not in a timely manner, of course. And now--shit, now he was gorgeous and all those crazy feelings from middle school were kinda coming back but also not really? Was he just thinking about this too much? Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit--

“You’re blushing, El--”

“Shut up.”

He smirked, nudging their arm. “Why are you blushing, Elliot?”

“You’re horrible.”

“So I shouldn’t mention Akaashi right now, either?”

He knew just how to push his buttons, didn’t he?

No, he didn't...like akaashi like that, but he had to admit that he was great. Really great. Like totally want to kiss him sometimes great. But he didn't like him like that. They were just really close friends and knew each other better than almost anyone else and talked almost 24/7 and they wrote music a lot even though Akaashi barely knew anything about music and a lot of his songs were about him--

“You’re still blushing.”

Elliot sighed. So he was gonna play dirty like that? Time to pull out his trap card. Which sounded stupid but it worked.

He composed himself, blinked a couple of times, and smiled evilly at Bokuto. “So, Bokuto--how’s Hiraku?”

“Oh, now you're the horrible one!”

They laughed when Bokuto hit them in the head with the previously discarded pillow. He knew what talking about Hiraku did to him--he got embarrassed and pouty until he talked to her again, then his adrenaline shot up again. Freakin dork.

Yes, this is how i actually think. Yes, this is how character elliot's brain works. Im getting slowly more nervous about this because people get to see how weird i am lol. Anyway, show of hands, who wants to talk about who you have a crush on bokuto

Also hahaha i am very trans gtfo if ur transphobic

Is it bad i expect to lose followers for this lol

taglist: @ellewords @shoyotime @i-reblog-storie @tama-jam

playlist

masterlist

prev || next

[sunflowersupremes]

Once in a Generation: Chapter 12

Peter Quill is Dead. 

Yondu saw him die. He mourned him.

So why in the hell did a Terran show up at a slave market? It better not be his Terran, because if it is, there’s going to be hell to pay.

Characters: Peter Quill, Yondu Udonta, Kraglin Obfonteri, Gef (Marvel), Stakar Ogord, Tullk (Marvel), Horuz (Marvel)

Additional Tags: Read at Own Risk, Drug Use, background rape, Background torture, Slavery, Mistaken Identity, non consensual drug use, pre guardians movie, Flashbacks, Self-Harm

Read Chapter on AO3, Read Entire Work on AO3

There was an uncomfortable feeling building in Yondu’s stomach, although he wasn’t entirely certain what it was. It could have been something he ate. The last can of Beasties he’d eaten had technically been well past their expiration date. Yes. That had to be it.

It had absolutely nothing to do with seeing his old crew again.

Nope. It had to be the food.

He leaned back, trying to keep his posture as relaxed as possible, and glowered at Martinex. The other had the nerve to not appear cowed or intimidated in any way. Bastard.

After Stakar had left with Peter - as if that wasn’t going to turn everything on its head, he’d worked hard to keep Peter in the dark damn it - the two Ravager factions had fallen into sullen silence, content to pretend they didn’t know each other. A not so small part of Yondu wanted nothing more than to attempt to hold a conversation with Martinex, but he knew better than to think it would gain him anything. The rock was a stubborn asshole who wouldn’t let his opinions be swayed by anyone once he’d set them.

He and Yondu weren’t that unlike one another.

Yondu scowled at the thought, intentionally looking away, as though he had better places to be. He was sure the others had gotten a good view of the Elector, of the fact that his ship was hardly spaceworthy, and were judging him. Stakar had always prided himself in keeping an orderly ship. The Elector’s condition was born out of stubborn spite as much as it was out of a lack of funds to repair her.

Hopefully, Peter would be okay. Hopefully, he wouldn’t bring up too much that Stakar didn’t need to know about: Yondu didn’t pretend to be good with kids, all he knew was Stakar and slavery. He’d tried (more or less) and even if he had left a few scars he’d been a hell of a lot better than Ego would have been.

Perhaps Peter will spark Stakar’s interest, a soft voice in his head murmured. Perhaps he’ll be curious. He might even start listening.

Shaddup, he told the voice bitterly. Don’t need nobody. All I need from Stakar is for the bastard ta stop cutting us off from jobs. It was purely a business transaction, nothing emotional or personal. Nothing to do with sleepless nights when his past kept him awake and he had no one to turn to.

Martinex was watching him, Yondu had given the other man the courtesy of only looking out of the corner of his eye, but the Pluvarian was staring at him straight on. Perhaps he thought he could burn right through him. Perhaps that was what he wanted. “Like what ya see?” he drawled.

Martinex scowled. “A traitor?”

Yondu growled but didn’t make to whistle. A fight with Martinex (or any of Stakar’s crew) wasn’t going to get him what he wanted. Kraglin went for his gun, no doubt having some grand thought of dying to defend his captain’s honor. Ain’t got no more brains than Quill.

The men Martinex had brought with them grabbed for their weapons as well, leaving Yondu and Martinex the only ones not fully armed.

Yondu turned to look at Kraglin pointedly, drawing out his movements to make it all more obvious. Putting on a good show. “Ya ain’t dumb enough ta think that weapons gonna do nuttin’ ta ‘im, are ye?”

Kraglin lowered his gun. “Sorry Cap’n.”

“Lower your weapons,” Martinex said before Yondu could give the order to his own men. “They aren’t worth it.”

Jackass.

Even Yondu could only lie to himself so much. It wasn’t as though he’d never dreamed of seeing Stakar again, but typically those dreams were nightmares and ended in the worse way imaginable. He swallowed, leaning back against the wall of the hanger, resisting the urge to eye Stakar’s M-Ship.

“They writin’ a novel in dere cuz they sure is takin’ dere sweet time.” Martinex ignored the job, something he would never have done before Yondu’s exile. “I know you lot probably don’t got better ta do ‘cept harass old friends, but I got places ta be, things to steal.”

“We are not friends.”

Yondu faked an exaggerated wince, covering up the pain he truly felt. “Aw, Sparkles, don’t be like dat!” He sniggered, elbowing Kraglin so that the other would laugh along with him.

With a glance down at his wrist monitor to see how long Peter and Stakar had been gone he inwardly frowned. When Stakar had insisted on speaking with Peter, he’d felt a bit of panic rise in his chest. Stakar Ogord was The One Who Knows, but even he couldn’t possibly know everything. He didn’t know about Peter’s recent experiences, and Yondu knew better than anything that the last thing a traumatized person needed was to be backed into a corner.

If Stakar harmed one hair on Peter’s head, Yondu was going to personally eviscerate him (and then throw himself out an airlock before Aleta could get her hands on him).

“Yondu!” His chain of thought broken, he looked up to see Peter hurrying down the ramp of the M-Ship. Alone.

Shit. With no Stakar in sight, it could only mean one of two things. Either Peter had killed Stakar (highly unlikely) or Stakar had sent Peter to fetch Yondu (which wasn’t going to be fun). “What is it, boy?” he asked sharply.

He didn’t fail to notice Peter’s slight wince or the sag of his shoulders. “He wants you,” he said softly as he finally reached Yondu.

Nodding, Yondu dropped his voice so that only Peter could hear and murmured. “Ya doin’ all right?” Peter nodded slightly and Yondu clamped his hand on his shoulder, pulling him closer so he could mutter, “Go hide on dat ship o’ yers, I’ll find ya later.” Better to have Peter out of the way if shooting started. Stakar and his men wouldn’t shoot him on purpose, but accidents happened and shots missed their intended targets.

“What if it goes south?”

“Ain’t no one gonna hurt you,” he raised his voice, meeting Martinex’ eyes over Peter’s head. There was a clear threat in his voice. Then he dropped his voice and grumbled, “Long as ya don’t do nuttin’ stupid.”

Author’s Note:

Writing Yondu in this chapter has probably been the most exhausting thing I’ve done yet for this series. Dang man, you’ve got ISSUES.

I know I promised a Yondu and Stakar confrontation this chapter, but that'll be put off to the next chapter. And then Yondu and Peter are going have to have a Long Talk and Peter's going to lose control at some point because he's been holding it together for too long. Stakar means well, but he's definitely ripped open some wounds.

Beasties are possibly alive and super gross looking. If you’re curious, here’s a comic panel

Also, I was researching comic!Stakar and apparently Aleta is his "adopted sister/ex-wife" and boy oh boy does he have issues. I now have the desire to write a long ass backstory for him which I in no way have time to write.

[ts-valledelaluna]

F4 Rites of Passage

Hit Play on this before you start reading to hit the vibe!

CZERN - You were a victim of overplaying too early. I liked you as a person, but you made too many "deals"

JUDE- You were gone too soon. I was really hoping that you would make merge and we would reunite, because I wanted to work with you. I'm sorry it didn't work out.

CONNER - Victim of my idiocy #1. For some reason, we were pegged as a duo. I thought you were cool, but I guess everyone else thought I'd be easier to manipulate.

GEVONTE - I feel so bad that you had to go so early. When I saw you on the cast, I was ecstatic, because I had just been eliminated in 703 Challenge and couldn't work with you. I wish I hadn't voted you  out.

GIZMO - I'm so sorry you had the unfortune of losing your vote. I can't blame your tribe for voting out a voteless person, but I wish it hadn't been you.

NEIL - From my experience talking to you on OG Coyo, I thought you were really cool. I wish we could have worked together.

KEEGAN - My blood pact. In the game of cat and mouse, the cat should theoretically always win. I was the mouse, and somehow I won. I wish I had tried harder to work with you though, it would have saved me a lot of trouble.

RIZO - I wish I had been able to talk to you more. I know from experience that first merge boot is absolutely the worst, I'm so sorry that you had the misfortune of receiving it.

NATHAN - I don't know if you felt the same way, but I considered you my ride or die until you left. You had me as a Guardian Angel in a way, and I'm glad I was able to at least try to help you. If I had known that you were getting the majority of the votes, I would have tried to save you. It hurt so bad to have to badmouth you after you were gone so I could fit in.

LEXI - I know I've basically said this to half the cast, but I wish we could have worked together. Maybe we can if we play another game together! Like Gevonte, I was really happy to see you on the cast. I think we really could have worked together if I hadn't wanted Keegan out so bad. That was just one of my mistakes I guess.

NICK - Victim of my idiocy #2. I don't know if this is what you want to hear, but you know what? You fucking told me so. It WASN'T the right time to get you out. Yet, here I am, not campaigning enough to save you, because I'm an idiot. I'm so sorry, I hope you aren't too mad.

CHRISTIAN - Victim of my idiocy #3. I wish I had warned you that you were getting votes. I wish I hadn't voted wrong. I'm just not very smart. You are a really kind person, and I'm glad that I was able to meet someone like you.

JOEY - I'm so glad I got to play this game with you. We never really got to work together but you let me vent to you when I had one of the worst days ever. Before I met you, I didn't think I'd like you at all because of how you'd been described. But you defied my expectations so much. Thank you for playing this game, I really really really mean that.

AMY - Victim of my idiocy #4. You are one of the sweetest people I've ever had the fortune of playing with. I just can't believe you're gone. It's all my fault, I'm so stupid. I hope you and the rest of the jury can forgive me. I wish I was in jury instead.

Wow that’s a thumbnail

MICHAEL- UGH DUDEEEEE. You know I loVE you as a person and whenever we can get the chance to play together I try to work with you at least for a bit, but apperantly this time you talked to no one the whole time so you became the easy boot. I wasnt happy to see that when i woke up but also wasnt dissapointed.

CZERN: My blood pact. You rarley talked to me but i heard why you left, and WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO MESSYYYYYY, promising EVERYONE you werent gonna vote them is a god damn death sentence. GGWP praying for your best in the future.

TOMMY: Back to your ways.Not talking much, only talking about yourself, and talking game day 1. Your days were very much numbered from the start, this from my end was expected,

JUDE: JUDE UGH. I REALLY wanted to work with you at least for a little bit but you were completely unaware of the situation you were getting put into. I have always liked you as a person and this will not change here. It was unfortunate how this game played out but ignorance is bilss sometimes.

CONNER: Yeah you got what you deserved. Compete next time XOXO

GEVONTE: Absolute mess once again. Not alot to say here.

GIZMO: This was wasn't fun. Giz i went to you IMMEDATLEY talking about the ability to have something going early, and you told me about your no vote. 5 days later,,,you went wild. Making deals with everyone, spreading information, you were too messy for you own good. So when i woke up, i told you what was gonna happen and you used that as a tool to try and get me out, intentionally or not, and that was the nail in the coffin, Good game to you but UGH that was a round.

NEIL: Neil you are a really good strategist, but unaware of the social ability fully. I enjoyed talking to you but you said too much to hurt yourself, like how you watched every season of survivor. Without knowing you and that being one of the first things you say, i kept track. And you led several votes, and then eventually i was able to write your name down right before the official merge. It was a time and a half and you played hard, but thats what ended your game.

KEEGAN: Okay did I expect this? Not really. Knowing you and Lexi were tight i actually wanted to work with you at least a little bit, plus Rachael liked you so you couldnt be THAT BAD right? Bas circumstance took you out and i was saddened by it, but a child was looking for revenge.

RIZO:#BLINDSIDE, but not by me. Last i knew the newbs had conversation about who they could take out, and then i passed out with my vote on Nick, next thing i knew your game was over in a 8-4-2. You and I were TIGHT, we had called that were just personal and we had good game talk too, you were someone i really wanted to go far with in this game and i was HEARTBROKEN to see you go, but luckily for us... NATHAN: ...your main perpetrator goes next. And HOW SWEET IT WAS. A genuine #Blindside with him feeling comfortable and it not matter in the end. If it makes you feel better, I think im the only one in the 4 who actually voted you out. It was OH SO NICE to watch you go after the game i witnessed you play,,,it was nice to have your #1 in my ear though ;)

LEXI: This was the hardest vote I made all game, situation and all. I really enjoyed the conversation we had, it was really genuine and alot of good came out of it. I also wanted to work with you for a long time, and when Keegan left i thought i could do it, but unfortunately you had wanted to go on a revenge tour, and i couldnt let that go through fully. It hurt like hell and it hurt even worse when you gave me your red charm...knowing what I did was showing just what occurred...and what was to come...

NICK: what was to come...was ultimate betrayal. Nick if you dont get most robbed Juror i would be shocked. You had a REALLY good relay of information game, making everyone feel like they were close to you was a god damn good play for you. And you wanted a Final Three with amy myself and you, it was smart on your end, a lock for a win. But that was not gonna work for me and you knowing the position you had in this game I knew when we couldnt get the duo, they would be forced to look into your sights. I expect you to be bitter towards me and I wouldnt blame you.

CHRISTIAN: PLAYING WITH YOU MADE ME WANT TO DRIVE SPOONS INTO MY EYES. Your targeted at premerge was Jules, then me for like 40 minutes, then Jules again. WHY WAS JULES YOUR TARGET? You were so deadset on this happening but you didnt have the social standing for it as when you heard your name once you lost it. You were a paranoid player and having to figure out when/how to see you go was a headache in itself, and if what you said as you left was true, you having an idol was not in the plans. Good game, you are a good man and I meant when i said i liked you as a person and wanted to work with you….but DEAR GATO PLEASE BREATHE. (ironic from me if you remember the nick vote)

JOEY: The crackhead himself! Jeezus you were a damn mess too, how did you and Gato become the last pact? I have no idea, but you definitely had yourself set up to win if you were able to see the end, but your game was transparent. Not to say mine isnt either, it very well could be, but your every move was always tracked by someone else. I do not think a single thing you said in this game was hidden, including your idol. You know its always respect with me towards you but you did yourself in from the start.

AMY: If there was one person to say I was not expecting to work with this game, it was you. A reserved player who never acted on the information they had. When i said you were more intelligent then you let on, I meant it. You had information, you HAD to of had information for your game. It makes no sense if you didnt. I think out of anyone in this game you have the most potential to do REALLY well in the future and I hope that you do get that chance. It was a pleasure to play with you and I will see you very soon I do believe.

Michael- I wish we were able to play this game longer together! Even though you got my vote in the first tribal, the time I could talk to you was super cool and I really enjoyed talking to you about puzzle games and such. I’m sorry the stars didn’t align for you to stay but that’s just how it played out.

Czern- One word: Robbed. I haven’t gotten to play with you in either of the games we’ve been cast for together, but I swear to you soon enough the ORG strategy is going to click and you’re going to go deep in one of these games. Hell, it happened to me this season! Keep being you and I wish you the best of luck in future ORGs.

Tommy- Another person I didn’t get to play with for too long. Just from what I saw you went into game mode really fast, and I respect the hustle. It just didn’t slide in this game, and after hearing about how close you were with Gevonte, I knew you had to go.

Jude- I never got to play with you in this game, but just from the cast reveal you seemed pretty interesting! I’m sorry cause I hear you lowkey got robbed by Neil/Joey but I guess that’s just how the ORG struggle goes.

Conner- Not going to lie, from first glance in the cast reveal you seemed like someone I wanted to work with, and it could’ve worked. However, I heard you threw my name out as soon as we hit the swap beach, so I had to do what I had to do. You were fun to talk to on the rare occasions we did, though.

Gizmo- MY KING! Oh my god, playing as your blood pact was so fun! I really did enjoy my conversations with you, and I was so sad I wasn’t able to play with you in this game. I heard you kinda went a bit off the walls the round you got booted, but I see you killing it in other ORGs right now. Keep it up!

Gevonte- A fellow member of the Phandom! My personal conversations with you were super super fun, and I loved just fucking around. We were never able to connect on a game level, and your interests were always contrary to mine. It sucks, but that’s how it played out.

Neil- For the couple of days I was able to talk to you and wasn’t caught up in my own game, I had a really nice time talking to you! You seemed like a really cool dude, and I loved seeing the art you commissioned and talking about video games! On a game level I heard you were playing a bit hard too fast but that tends to happen on first ORGs :) I’m sure you’ll kill it soon.

Keegan- Oh my god, my King! One of the nicest and coolest people I’ve met in the ORG community, I had a good time playing this game with you. However, we never really connected on a game level, and I knew I was nowhere near the top of your interests to keep around. I’d like to say I have a decent read on the game, and thinking what I was thinking I knew I couldn’t trust you in the game. Also, I kind of wanted to get back at you for MTH hehe. I’m having a blast in Forest of Horrors btw!

Rizo- Looking back, this boot probably hurt the most for me to do. I started to get extremely desperate to not be a merge boot, and in the process I accidentally gave a fellow merge booter that placement. You were probably my favorite person to talk to pre-swap, and I trusted you almost 100%, which I normally don’t do. Just chatting with you about whatever and then going into game mode was a ton of fun, but I knew for a fact you knew more than you were telling me. I saw you kill it in 1984, so you keep doing you King! Thank you so much for being a good sport about your boot, I really appreciate it.

Nathan- My ride or die during the swap phase of this game, Nathan, you played a hell of a game. I was able to use you as a shield for a little bit, and then unfortunately you were voted out earlier than I expected. I came into this game being told you were a horrible person and a bunch of shit, but I really did not see any of that inside of the game. Just talking to you about whatever was a ton of fun. You were one of the first people to actively attempt to go on call with me, which is a rare occurrence, and you put up a hell of a fight this season. I wish you were able to succeed in your guardian angel competition so we could continue to play the game together, but sadly that was not how it played out.

Lexi- My tribe mom! Along with the Rizo boot, this is one of the boots that hurt the most in the moment and in the long term. Talking to you during the swap was so much fun, and I really wanted to work with you for the entirety of the game. Unfortunately, you were too closely tied to Keegan, and I had to take that shot (I had a bigger part in that then I led on, but you probably knew that hehe). The day where your boot occurred was probably the saddest day I had this season, cause I knew you were going from that morning. It sucked because, after not talking for a few days, we were finally able to reconnect in this game but it was too late. I know things were going rough for you during the game, so I hope everything is going okay now! I can’t wait to talk to you again, and it was so fun to play with and against you in this game!

Nick- You told me that we needed to keep each other around to make it to the end of the game, but here I am! I talked to you a lot in this game, and was really pleased by you in this game, it is very clear you are a seasoned veteran! You were one of the only people that actively kept up talking to me for the entirety of the game, and didn’t just fizzle out. You said on several occasions you wanted to work with me, and then made alliances against my best interest and expected me to trust you. I knew what you were doing pretty much the entire time you were in merge, but it was a pleasure to play alongside you.

Christian- Ohh Christian. I wasn’t able to talk to you much on a personal level, but I did enjoy our conversations about Roblox and such. We were never able to find much to connect with other than Survivor and Roblox outfits and such, but I’m sure there were some connections beneath that. From what I heard, you were gunning for me from the start of the merge, which meant I had to take you out before you could get your shot at me. As a newbie, you played amazingly, and I still have no idea if you actually had an idol or not LMAO.

Joey- Joey you played a fucking chaotic game, I’ll say that much. I heard stories about how you wanted to go to rocks at final 6 to force the rock blocker, which like, what the fuck? You played like a crackhead, and it was one of the greatest things I’ve seen in awhile. You mentioned how people didn’t like your social game, but I didn’t really see it? In my opinion, you talked to me a good amount, so I really had no complaints. I think you had a genuine shot had you made it further into the game, and I hope you’re enjoying the 6th place chat (since you said it was really cool)!!! Thank you for taking the move so well at final 6, game respects game!!!

Amy- The most recent boot, you were very much an interesting one to play with. I really wish we had time to connect more on a social level, cause your life seems so fucking interesting and I wish I knew more about it. We had a sort of mutual respect in this game, and I always wanted to be on the same side of the votes as you, but it never really worked out (mostly because I decided to be a crackhead every single vote LMAO). I’m sorry you were a casualty in the last vote, but you were really the only option I could take a shot at at that point. I’m sorry I celebrated so hard btw, that was tasteless on my part. Good game!!!

[kkyuns-archived]

A couple of days ago I send you a pretty long message but I think tumblr ate it, I'm really sad because I wanted to cheer you up with it but I think it never reached you :'(

oh :( im so sorry angel :( if you ever send me a message and i haven’t replied back it’s either tumblr ate the message or i got the message but im not the right state of mind to reply back to it so i leave it unanswered for a bit until im ready. im sorry though ! i would never intentionally ignore your message or a message from anyone ok. please don’t think it was on purpose :( i promise i would never do that to you. if you do ever send a message again i will try my best to reply back as quickly as i can. im sorry again. i hope you’re doing ok ❤️