#im still in a lot of pain and this was 2 nights ago

[sunsetcowboy]

Nothing makes me feel like I'm getting older than straining or maybe tearing my fucking quadriceps tendon while trying climbing into bed🥲

[weskin-time]

I don’t t go here but how about sharing body heat with John price headcanons? Like if it’s cold outside and the both of you are stranded. Alone. 👀 (feel free to ignore just giving ideas haha)

i’m sorry this took. months. i love when i write and hit the save button only for it to not save. >:/ BUT I HOPE I DID YOUR ASK JUSTICE!

Captain John Price x GN!Reader

not beta read

Cold air curled into your lungs and made its home on your skin, burning the back of your throat and searing your flesh as if it was hot out, but it was freezing.

There was no snow, just dry cold air that made your sinus’s cry out in pain, no moisture in the air just a winter haze in a forest. Frozen dew drops clung to blades of grass, to the leaves shed on the forest floor like blankets, the dwindling light of the day promised an even colder night.

The twilight would have been peaceful if it had been a voluntary camping trip, if you weren’t stuck with your captain in the middle of the woods out in bumfuck-nowhere Russia.

It should have been easy, should have been an easy drive to a small town where the contact had been, but it was an ambush, a trap set up by Makarov to get you lot off his ass. Your small team was outnumbered and forced to retreat, but an explosion caused Price and you to be separated from Gaz and the rest of the small amount of men. A mine caught the captain and you off guard, causing the Humvee you were in to wreck, separating you from everyone, somehow Makarov’s men didn’t see you two slip into the woods that bordered the town.

“Damnit. You two are going to have to sit tight for the night.” Laswell spoke over the coms.

Good thing the army backpack your we’re wearing had supplies inside it, standard military issued foldable tent, a shitty sleeping bag, and then some. Price seemed to have lost his bag (or didn’t even bring it) in the explosion, meaning there was only one tent and sleeping bag to share between you two. Fun.

You barley paid any attention to the conversation going on behind you as you began to set up the tent, unzipping it from its little bag and trying to figure out how to set it up. It kind of reminded you like those folding frisbees you sometimes get at fairs or small events.

“Laswell-“ Price began to argue but was cut off.

“John it’s too hot right now to rescue the two of you, Makarovs men are still in the town, Im not going to argue with you. I’m sending a team your way before dawn tomorrow, you’ll be out of there in no time.” Her tone was final.

“Fuckin hell.”

The kept talking as you focused on the tent, tuning them out as you fed some tubes into the fabric of the green camo. Your nose felt numb, your fingers moved with a slowness of paralyzed flesh, the cold in the air seeped into your being freezing your blood. Your heavy fingers fumbled over the rough fabric as you sniffed your now running nose.

By the time Price was done complaining you had gotten the tent up. It was large enough for about 2 people, and thankfully the backpack you carried had a thin scratchy blanket to go along with it. Looks like you wouldn’t be camping warmly tonight.

“The tents up captain.” you called over your shoulder to where the man was just a few moments ago, jaw chattering slightly.

“Alright. Fuckin hell.” the last part was muttered under his breath.

———————————

It had been an hour since you set up the tent.

Twilight had come to cloak the forest in darkness, the birds who were chirping and singing earlier had went to bed, it was too cold in the night air for them.

The temperature had to have dropped a few more degrees by sundown because your toes ached in the combat boots you wore, you could barely feel them let alone move them in the confines of the shoes. Your fingers felt like rocks, slow to move and what could best describe it as ‘clunky’.

It’s weird how the cold burns. Your skin felt like it was on fire minus the heat, your thighs didn’t help warm up your hands as you pressed your legs harder around your fingers to provide any warmth at all, instead it just make your skin ache. What’s worse is you couldn’t make a fire.

Makarov’s men were still in the area Price had confirmed, while y’all were deeper in the woods to where it would take them a while to find you even if they tried to look in the forest, it would still be too risky to attract them from the smoke of a fire, and everything was too cold and frozen to have a smokeless fire, you needed dry wood with no bark for that.

You and your captain had huddled up in the tent for the night. Price was currently on watch, which left you alone in the tent to rest.

But it was too cold to sleep. It was too cold to even think. You sat in the fetal position with your arms around your thighs instead of your knees, pressing your fingers into the crevasse of your thighs to provide some warmth, but none coming to you. A blanket from the sleeping bag was wrapped around you, it was too cold to even lay flat in the sleeping bag, you had to huddle to stay somewhat warm, and even then you felt the buzzing, burning, numb feeling of the cold. You were able to handle torture if needed, but this? this was hell. The blanket did nothing.

“Shift change.” He announced before unzipping the flap and sitting fully in the tent ready to switch positions with you but he stopped when he saw your shivering state.

Your head was on your knees and you honestly couldn’t tell if you were shivering worse than he was. Your skin looked dull from what he could see and that instantly worried him.

He shifted over to you on his knees, shutting the tent flap behind him, “You alright?”

You weakly looked up at him only to be met with his sudden expression of shock and worry all mixed into one. You could barely see in the moonlight but you’d be able to sniff out the expression sense you haven’t seen him ever express it before.

Your lips were turning blue.

“Fuckin hell,” he groaned out a string of curses as he put down his gun and took off his vest and placed it with yours in the corner of the tent. You could barely understand what he was muttering, something about muppets? Fuck if you knew.

“Imma move you, right?” He asked full knowing he was going to do it regardless if you said yes or no, so you have a weak grunt in approval.

You didn’t want to move, moving meant you’d loose all the warmth you’ve built up be it not much. John sat down close to you and took the blanket off you, which you barely even noticed, and wrapped his large warm hands around your midsection and hooked his other under your knees, lifting you up to sit in between his legs. You were facing sideways against him with your shoes under his thigh as both of his legs wrapped around your frame. He pushed your head to rest against his chest and instantly your hands found their place resting against his ribs.

His arms wrapped around you with the blanket, draping it around the two of you as he held you against him.

If you were in your right mind you would protest against your captains actions, but survival was more important in this moment. Plus you honestly didn’t mind being this close to him, feeling his breath on the top of your head as he huddled into you, his strong heartbeat hammering in your ears in a calming manner, and slowly the warmth of the two of you beginning to grow under the trap of the blanket, making your skin feel as if it was thawing. You felt safe in his arms like this.

“That better?” Price asked resting his head on your own.

A whine of ‘mmhmm’ escaped your throat at the question.

“Get some rest ey? Gaz’ll be here by dawn.” Reassuring words from your captain almost put a spell on you as you instantly felt your eyelids grow heavy. You absentmindedly snuggled closer into his chest and shifted your weight to rest fully against him. A hum of contentment released like a balloons air escaping. You really should be embarrassed a little about this situation but you were too cold and tired to care, you were just glad you could feel your fingers again.

Right at the cusp of sleep where your brain was swimming in the ideas of a dream a soft pressure surrounded by what felt like fuzzy grass tickled your forehead.

John had given you a kiss on the head, “Sleep love.”

You’d worry about everything later in the morning when you’re rescued and after you’ve been seen by a doctor.

[jeon-ify]

that night- j. yunho : pt. 3

a/n: heyyyy girl did you miss me 😋 i know i know. after i reread the first 2 parts of this fic, im starting to feel like its already going NOWHERE. but!! i hope this part makes up for all the weirdness in the first couple of parts.

this chapter is a little short

warnings: mentions of self harm, mentions of sex (if you squint), drug use, swearing, use of the word ‘pookie’ only once, reader starts to second guess if she’s at fault

enjoy!

🤍🪩☁️

you watch your phone ding twice after you wipe your tears, processing the fact that yunho just walked into your apartment for the first time ever. you felt like none of it was real, that it was simply a blur that he came to your home, cried to you, kissed your forehead and promised he’d change.

yunho often kept his promise, thus leaving a feeling of confusion on your heart. you decide to ignore what your heart is telling you to do, and instead, listening to your brain:

you trusted him once before, and he fucked it up. don’t do that to yourself again, y/n

no matter how hard you try to ignore the messages on your phone from yunho’s support buddy, you can’t. what could mingi want at this hour?

y/n: hi, whats up?

*seen just now*

mingi.?: can i call you? i wanna talk to u ab smth rq

mingi.?: i stole ur number from yun

y/n: sure.?

as you respond to mingi, you wait a few seconds before mingi’s called ID pops up on your phone. the last thing you need right now is to talk about yunho— and if he calls for just that, you’d rather hang up and sit in silence as you literally haven’t even recovered from that entire show that just took place not even an hour ago.

“hello?” he speaks.

“hey, m-ming…mingi?” you try to pronounce his name, thinking you forgot his name, but he’s quick to confirm that you’d pronounced it right.

“yeah you said it right. how are you, y/n? how’s everything going?” you think he’s only starting small talk just to get to the topic of yunho.

“i could be better but for now i’m okay. how are you, mingi? what makes you call me at this hour?”

“if i’m being honest, i was going to ask you how you and yunho were putting up since i know he just got home from your place. he looked pretty fucked up, y/n.” you feel like he’s guilt tripping you, but you also feel like he’s part of the reason you got to see yunho tonight.

“we didn’t really talk much, he explained what happened that night and i know he regrets it— well, i like to believe he regrets it. plus, i really don’t know why it took him so long to reach out to me through san. because if he really wanted to reach out to me, he wouldn’t just send me pathetic ass texts and not have san call me.”

you and mingi both know that yunho’s texts were not pathetic. they— in fact— made your heart sink, and got you to seeing yunho, even though you didn’t want to be reminded of him, those texts are the reason you still saw him.

“i talked to him a couple years ago and we found each other at our lowest. we met at rehab— he was very much into popping pills and inflicting pain onto himself so i decided to help him out since we were going through the same thing. he had no place to stay, he sold his apartment because he owed that fucker san drug money. i took him into my apartment and i helped him build his credit score and save up to get his own place. he ended up buying a house bigger than mine. no matter what he does, he’s never really happy. i’ve known yunho long enough to know that he is not himself. listen, y/n. i’m not trying guilt trip you, but yunho really did love you. a lot of us do things we shouldn’t but that’s not an excuse. people fuck up, and you don’t have to forgive him, but give him the room to change in a way that shows how much he regrets doing that to you. i’m not saying you need to forgive him now or anything, but let your logic do it’s thing. goodnight, y/n. call me if anything changes.”

mingi hangs up the phone, leaving your head empty and full at the same time. so much happened today, and the last thing you needed was mingi unpacking everything to you.

yunho never mentioned that in his texts. since the both of you were together, yunho was too scared to touch a drug— that being part of the reason he never got along with san.

your pink nail polish is laid out on the floor in crumbles as you’ve picked it all off your nails. you think twice or three times over about how yunho was so broken over what he did to you. he’s the victim in his own story.

you are broken, but you didn’t feel like you were allowed to be hurt— though you have every right to be.

while you and yunho were together, you often refused sex when you got back from work, claiming that you were ‘too tired’ or ‘too busy’ to pay yunho any attention. you can’t remember the last date you had with yunho.

your thoughts cloud your brain as you slowly start to feel like you’re part of the reason he’d cheated on you.

“we hadn’t had sex in like 4 months so i started to believe it.”

“they said you don’t deserve someone like me.”

“they said you can’t handle me”

you walk over to your kitchen, grabbing your lighter and heading back to your balcony. as the night sky hugs your home, you start to mentally prepare yourself for the next few months. you’ve cancelled every lash booking you had for the next week and a half, not being in the right headspace for anything.

you pick up your phone, calling wooyoung.

“it’s 3 in the morning go back to sleep.” he groans. you caught him at the wrong time, hearing a female voice in the back moaning and breathing heavy.

“can you come over? i need you here.” you light your cigarette, the smoke clouding the air in front of you.

“i’m on my way.”

in almost 7 minutes, your best friend is sitting right by you, throwing the cigarette off the balcony. he notices how your nose and eyes are puffy from crying, how your gaze is absent. he puts his lazy hand around your shoulders, pulling you to lean on his own.

“i’m guessing it didn’t go well?” he asks, his baggy flannel smells like comfort, making your eyes well up in tears, in appreciation for your best friend.

“i’m sorry, wooyoung. i keep crying to you. i’m just so overwhelmed and so much shit is unfolding tonight, i just wanna run away from everything bro.” you sniffle into his chest, his hand rubbing on the small of your back.

“hey, it’s okay. it’s okay to cry. talk to me when you’re ready. i’m here to listen, babes.” he rubs and shushes you, as you relax against his hands.

“we talked about what happened that night and how it happened. he said he just didn’t feel like i wanted him anymore and because we didn’t have sex in like 4 months he started to believe what sara and maya were saying.”

“what were they saying?”

“they were saying shit like i didn’t deserve someone like him and that i was stupid to believe i could have someone like him. then when he left he kissed my forehead and walked out and that just was the cherry on top.”

“shit, y/n. i’m sorry.” he stops rubbing your back as you sit up facing him. he brings his hand up to wipe your tears and fix your hair.

“what else, babe?”

“then like an hour after he left, mingi texted me and when i saw it he asked to call. then i said yeah and called me and he told me how yunho was coping when we split. he said he got into drugs and started doing self harm and shit, he sold his apartment cus he owed san money for drugs and he had to get into rehab for it all. he told me how yunho regrets everything but i don’t know, woo. what do i do?” you breathe. you don’t wanna keep crying, but it’s all you can do.

“how’d you feel after the talk with yunho?” he questions.

“i don’t know. i just feel like i wanna give him room to change cus i feel like he would. but then again, he cheated once and he literally said he wanted to leave but i was holding him back from doing what he wanted. i feel like a burden on him even when we’re not together anymore. and i don’t wanna have to go through that again.”

“first of all, you’re the victim. i don’t know why mingi is making it seem like you’re to blame. second of all, i’m not gonna tell you what you should do. all i will say, is that you need hella time to figure it out. listen to your brain, y/n. not your heart. your heart will tell you to do things impulsively, it’s why your brain is up here, and your heart is right under it. your brain will lead you to do the most logical thing and what’s best for you. ’ll support you, no matter what choice you make. but please make the right one.” he kisses your temple, bringing you back to lean on him again.

“woo,”

“yes, y/n.”

“i don’t know what the fuck i’d do if i lost you.”

“you interrupted the best fuck of my life, but i forgive you. don’t let it happen again.”

you laugh, following wooyoung’s giggle.

“i love you pookie”

“i love you, y/n. do you want me to stay the night?” he watches the stars twinkle and dance, taking in the feeling of his best friend in need, and him being the only person who could make you feel at ease— something he would never take for granted.

“please.”

wooyoung giggles lightly as the both of you stand up to head to bed, falling asleep much easier than the night before.

—————————————————————————————

hello!! wooyoung is so cute ☹️

taglist: @bbae98 @haohaoshoe @k-hotchoisan @stolasisyourparent @atinytiny @isiloiale @kpophosblog @nakiiko @certifiedmoa @aaniag @yunnieo @chosoteta @xuchiya 🤍

[lynnlovesspidahman]

this is me trying.

peter parker x reader

part 2. || part 1.

masterlist.

warnings : angst, mentions of violence, swearing, lots of self-doubt (peter im sorry)

word count : 2.7k

summary : There’s always two sides to a story. An apology is put into place.

Peter felt like he was living three different lives at once.

Each taking so, so much energy every single day.

His job, an assistant for Dr. Octavius at Octavius Industries. He felt guilty for arriving late every day, and still somehow having a job.

Peter was smarter than Doc, they both knew that. So that meant he would be called to office very, very often.

Usually because of some mistake Doc had made while working on the new prototypes of prosthetic limbs.

But the pressure it brought could get to be too much sometimes. One small mistake could cost millions of lives — or dollars — if not noticed early enough.

But he knew it would help the world someday, in so many ways. The exhaustion was totally worth it.

Spider-Man. Peter had loved and genuinely enjoyed playing his alter-ego.

Constantly, day and night, he was out. Out saving people everywhere. Sure, his work wasn’t appreciated by everyone but it was 100% worth it — to him.

But Spider-Man came with considerable costs. His everlasting lack of sleep. Peter can’t remember the last time he really got his 8 hours. The bags under his eyes made that apparent enough.

The physicality of the job, how many times had he stopped a car with his bare hands? He lost count years ago.

The bruises, cuts, broken limbs, brought immense pain, even to Spider-Man. Sure, he can heal faster — a nights rest, a heating pad, and your some soup is more than enough — But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

And the emotional weight it brought.

The crimes haven’t slowed, if anything they’ve gotten much more prominent all around the city.

The overwhelming amount of times he has to swing across New York to fight off large groups of thugs has become too much.

And honestly, he’s so sick of it.

And so, Peter stopped pulling his punches as much.

The guilt didn’t come until later.

He climbed through your apartment’s window after a long, long night of patrol.

You were sitting there — unaware of his presence— watching TV, all cuddled up on the corner of the couch with your mini Spidey plush.

“Hey, beautiful.” He called out to you.

“Holy shit-” You jumped and turned around to look at him. “You can’t just pop out of nowhere like that, you scared the hell out of me.”

You got up and walked towards him, “Was patrol okay?”

“Uh, yeah it was alright, kicked my ass tonight though. I’m worn out,” He stretched his arms above his head.

“Hm. Why?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Uhm, I mean I fought bad guys all night?” He scoffed, a stupid question, he thought.

“Or was it because you practically killed someone tonight?” You bluntly said.

You had taken a step away from him, like he was a danger to you too.

“They were a criminal!” He shrugged.

“Why does that matter? You can’t just completely take someone’s life away. That’s not who you are. Before you say you didn’t, you came real close to.” You stood your position.

It felt like you shot him straight in the heart.

He should’ve listened to you. But instead, he took a shot right back at you, a shot to kill.

“Again, they’re criminals. I’m sorry I had to calm things down somehow. I’m sorry I needed to do something to catch a break for once in my damn life. And you’re not exactly helping that.” He looked away from you. He felt ashamed.

You were right, he knew that, even then. But his pride couldn’t let him admit it.

“What is wrong with you? You love Spider-Man. And you always talk about how killing sickens you. You’ve changed, Peter.” You spat back at him.

He should’ve just ended it there, stopped the excessive violence, stopped the fight. Maybe then he wouldn’t have been in your kitchen on that faithful Tuesday.

It had been two days since that argument.

His almost perfect rep was officially ruined (Jameson had a field trip that day, too). The stress was at an all-time high.

He almost couldn’t handle it. He didn’t want to anymore.

He was still so angry at you for being right. Because you always were.

You were the one who kept him balanced, who took care of him no matter the time of day or night.

He hadn’t been back to your apartment since the fight, either.

But he would return to it after a tough night the day after. And the next.

And you forgave him, so fast (He took you to see the Barbie movie, paid for every snack and drink you could’ve wanted. It was indisputable on your end). The guilt from what Peter’s put you through has just stacked on and on.

Now he really couldn’t handle it anymore. 

And so, there he was. Sat atop a random rooftop rethinking everything.

He debated his life. His three lives, more like. Which parts were worth it, and which weren’t. (It was really fucked up, who measures parts of their life in worth and just decides which to throw away?)

He couldn’t lose his job, how would he make money?

He couldn’t stop being Spider-Man, he knew that.

And there was you. The biggest and undoubtedly the most important part.

But you were also easy to throw away, he thought.

So much stress and time would be lifted off of his shoulders.

(Little did he know, it would be the complete opposite. His injuries didn’t heal all the way like they did when you took care of him. Every time he was hurt, it would linger for days at a time. He missed how much you’d worried for him. He really took you for granted.)

And so, he decided in the next couple of weeks, he would break it off.

And he did. On the Tuesday the following week.

He looks back on it — to this day — and realized everything he had said to you that evening, wasn’t directed at you. It was directed at himself.

Of course he enjoyed loving you. He didn’t enjoy being himself was what.

He needed to be his best for you because he couldn’t be with anything else. He failed at being the friendly and reliable Spider-man. Him and Doc didn’t get the grant they’d been needing for so long.

And when he did try to improve when you called him out that night, it just wasn’t enough.

He didn’t deserve you.

He took everything out on you, he didn’t mean a word he said. But you didn’t know that.

Peter never had an outlet to take anything out. He couldn’t leave you with every burden of his life, Doc and him weren’t that close, and May couldn’t know he was Spider-Man.

He snapped that Tuesday.

And there’s nothing more that he regrets in his entire life.

But he couldn’t burden you anymore. He wouldn’t.

He did nothing but keep you up late at night, hurt your feelings, and make you do everything for him.

Peter loved you. And he couldn’t let himself torture you like this.

So he forced himself to let you go. You would move on, anyways. He couldn’t.

He listened to every single one of the voicemails you sent.

Every. Single. One. He’s never heard you sound so down (Because of him, nonetheless).

It took so much out of him to not respond. More than what he had to give.

And after five weeks, he finally caved.

He texted you.

9:52 PM

Hey, beautiful.

You wouldn’t forgive him quick this time, he knew that. This time wasn’t just some fight. He tore your heart apart.

But he would work for your forgiveness, he swore to himself, God as his witness.

You read the message immediately. He knew you had gotten off of work, so it wasn’t completely abnormal.

But you didn’t respond. He checked his phone all night and the next morning (He was desperate for something, even if it was an angry text. He hated nothing more than you ignoring him).

So he texted you again. He just went straight for it this time, no holding back anymore.

1:16 PM

Can we meet up?? I think we can agree there’s still some loose ends we need to revisit, together.

Read 1:18 PM

He was patient this time. He tried stepping in your shoes, and it broke his heart. He couldn’t imagine you snapping on him like he had.

He couldn’t live if you were angry at him like he was at you. And if you weren’t going to respond again he was debating on just showing up to your apartment. Can’t ignore him that way.

2:12 PM

Y/N 💞 : “Loose ends” is a funny term. You mean when you randomly showed up to my apartment and broke up with me for the stupidest reason?

He cringed. This was a dumb decision.

2:12 PM

I know, trust me. I just want to talk. And explain myself.

Explain my biggest mistake. I’ve never regretted anything more than leaving you and taking the anger at myself onto you.

He debated on sending the message, but he didn’t.

You would just see it as him trying kiss your ass into forgiving him. It worked before.

2:14 PM

Y/N 💞 : Peter, why? Why are you only just know texting me? Why are you trying to meet up when you tore my heart into pieces? Why are you seeking forgiveness randomly?

Why are you asking such hard questions, he wanted to ask.

2:14 PM

Idk, I miss you?

I miss you and still love you. I regret that night so much.

Can you just hear me out? Please?

Nothing sounded right. But he just went for it, again. At this point, he was pacing across his rooftop, anxious for your response (If you even gave him one).

2:15 PM

Y/N 💞 : Peter, I swear. If you make me regret this, I’ll come for you. Worse than any enemy you’ve ever faced and ever will.

He laughed at that one. You wouldn’t —right?—

2:15 PM

I won’t, Y/N. I promise. Tomorrow, Micks at 3?

Read 2:16 PM

You left him on read, but he counted that as a success — you didn’t refuse his offer so.. —

He would come back from this. He has to.

Peter was late. Fuck him.

Why did you even give him your time of day anymore? This man could tear you apart and you still gave into his words.

3:13 PM

Peter 🕸️ : Babt, I’mso sotry. I got caugjt up with worl, I’m bloxks away I sqaer.

You could barely understand him, but you were used to his usually proper grammar slipping while he was swinging.

How dare he? How dare he beg you to come out here and he gets to show up late??

He practically busted the restaurant’s door open. He rushed to your table.

“Baby I-”

“No,” You interrupted. “You don’t get to call me that. Fuck you, asshole. You ask me to meet you and you show up late? Are you kidding me?” You crossed your arms and stood up from the booth you were sitting at.

“Y/N, I’m so, so sorry. I got caught up with Doc at work. Huuge internal wiring problem. I don’t even understand how he could’ve messed it up so badly,” He talked with his hands, he was so cute when he did that.

You took a step towards him, and slapped the shit out of his stupidly attractive face.

“You don’t get to break me and show up late when you wanted me here.” The tears were back. You were livid. You shoved your finger into his face as you scolded him.

“I know, I know. I keep fucking up and I’m sorry. Lets just sit down and let me explain everything. I promise you, it’s worth it.” He put his hands on both of your shoulders to keep you from leaving and tried to calm you down.

“Hands off,” You pulled his hands away from your shoulder and slumped back into the booth.

You wanted to go home.

“Okay, okay.” He sat down and stared at you.

“Well?” You waited, “Let’s hear this explanation,” You rolled your eyes.

“Well, uh-” He paused for a moment, “I don’t know how to start.”

You waited for him to continue, arms still crossed. You really didn’t want to hear him out.

“Do you remember when I almost beat the life outta that guy? Like a month ago or something?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You rolled your eyes again, not exactly a good moment to bring up.

“I feel like that’s where it started,”

“Mhm..” You nodded for him to keep going.

“I started slipping. I stopped pulling my punches and I was so stressed out every moment of my life. A-and one day I just got so sick of it,” He started choking up, you almost felt bad for him.

“So I sat down and tried to organize my life. I wanted to rid myself of stress and try to free up time for myself in order to y’know, rejuvenate.”

You sat there, you were expecting plain excuses. But it seemed he had something real going here.

“I couldn’t rid myself of my job — how else would I be able to live? — and obviously Spider-Man isn’t a choice. And there came you. The best and biggest part of my life.”

You raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“I was stupid, I thought that by taking a break, I’d feel more free. And feel more.. well less stressed out. If I had something to myself then I would be better and feel okay? I don’t know.”

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Don’t look at me like that, please. I was so overwhelmed with everything. I’ve been so behind on rent, and crime just never stops around here. Its like it raises more and more every week.”

“I thought-” He took a deep breath, “I thought that if I had one less chore — trust me you are not a chore to me — life would get easier.”

You’re guessing he tried to rephrase his words he said before, he’s almost repeating himself.

“But it didn’t. At all. I was in pain all the time — emotionally and physically — it didn’t help at all. I said I didn’t enjoy loving you. I lied. I didn’t enjoy loving myself- or being me.”

Your heart clenched for him. He hurt you so bad, but hearing how he truly felt made you slightly reconsider things.

“I didn’t enjoy the stress of my life, and I don’t have any outlet for my anger. And you forgave me so easily the last time we fought. And I guess I took advantage of that. I took all of the hate I had for myself onto you. I think that will forever be my biggest mistake.”

Your eyebrows scrunched.

“I love you. So much, Y/N. More than words can describe. I’ve never regretted anything more in my life and I can’t ever be away from you, again.”

“I broke it off thinking it would cause me less stress, but I understand now that it was you who took the pressure away. Being away from you, Y/N,” He laughed (At his own pain, seemingly). “I’ve never felt shittier in my life.”

Your tears flowed. Your expectations were well exceeded. He’s fucked up so much, but he makes up for it every time. And this time, it wasn’t done by kissing your ass and spoiling you, you recognized that.

“I can’t explain how sorry I am. I regret what I did to you that night so much. More than anything in the world. I just hope you can understand that.”

“I hope you can understand me.” He kept eye contact, his eyes were watery. “I know how complicated I can get,” He let out a breathy laugh.

“Pete.” You just about whispered his name.

“Yeah..?” He wiped his eyes on his sleeve before answering you.

“I forgive you.” You smiled, still crying from his well thought out (you had to give him credit) apology.

“Wait- Really?”

“Yeah. I do.”

He stood up and hugged you from across the table.

“But..”

“But..?” He repeated you, curiously. He let go of the hug to look you in the eyes.

“You’re gonna have to pay for the meal if you really want me back.”

He laughed.

“I love you.”

He grabbed your cheeks and pulled you in for a kiss. He’s never kissed you so hard.

Stunned, but pleasantly surprised, you sat there for a moment. Unsure of whether you should kiss him or not.

But you grabbed his collar and melted into the kiss.

No matter how hard he had broken you, his words brought you back to him.

And you wouldn’t regret it, you knew that.

part 2 is finished 🥹

just wanna explain a few things just in case:

peter is a lil ooc w the excessive violence and it’s not him to be like that but i feel like every body gets to that point where everything can be just too much. even spider-man.

i also feel like he needs a healthy outlet for his feelings, being spiderman, he’s constantly busy. not exactly easy to make friends. but also being spiderman, he doesn’t wanna leave y/n with all of his problems, he’s supposed to be the hero. so he bottles it all up. to the point where he just burst one day and took it out on her. (not good!!)

also i felt like him being a man, he’s going to feel insecure if y/n’s the one taking care of him all the time. he’s the man, it’s supposed to be the other way around, but it’s not. and that’s okay!! often times, old traditions still lies deep within all of us. men’s mental health matters too!! men can still feel insecure!! EVERYONE DOES. but that doesn’t mean we (as people) can take out our insecurities or anger at ourselves onto other people. most times, they don’t deserve the hate we bring onto ourselves.

that being said, not everyone can be perfect. (peter is a great example) we’re all going through something in life and are constantly being tested. but, the biggest thing is to always persevere no matter what. you’re never going to have more on your plate than you can handle. if you’re struggling, always remember to reach out to someone. a loved one, a professional, or even me. my dms are always open. i love you all. 🩷

anyways,

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated!!

i hope you all enjoyed this story as much as i liked writing it 💗💗

[spideesenses]

Half a Heart → Miguel O’Hara

pairing: miguel x gn!reader

warnings: angsty

prompt: miguel has a difficult time balancing out work and his personal life; you have received the short end of the stick countless of times.

Midnight rolled around & the empty spot next to you remains cold. Your heavy heart aches. You tried not to cry, but once that pinch in your chest comes to light, you can’t help the knot that gets stuck in your throat.

This was the 12th time this month that Miguel had left you hanging without any form of communication. 12th time the two of you had planned for a date & him not show up. You understood that he ran a business, you weren’t entirely sure what the business was, only that you would be safer if you didn’t know & to trust Miguel. Him not showing up was only a portion of the issue… the other part was him not communicating. Would you still be a little disappointed if he did communicate? Yes, of course, anyone would be if plans fell through last minute. But you wouldn’t have to hold onto this sliver of hope that just maybe… he’d make it this time.

You started thinking about how he hardly texted you as it was. You weren’t exactly the clingy type. You could be at times, but as a full-time worker, you understood that obligations come up. To make sure you weren’t crazy, you pulled out your phone. You scrolled, making note of the conversations that you had & all of them, were conversations that you initiated.

Two weeks ago

You — 6:56 AM good morning love, i hope you have a great day today. i miss you so much. i’m off at 5 today. any chance we can order takeout and have a movie night?💕

Miggy Smalls — 7:12 AM Buenos dias mi vida. I should be good for a date night, only I’ll be home at around 9 the latest. That okay with you? Be safe, i miss you xo💋

You — 7:15 AM sounds good. should i order from that thai place up the street?

You — 5:20 PM miguel?

You — 6:01 PM i ordered your favorite. should be here in 2 hours and a half. let me know when you’re on the way home. stay safe

You — 8:10 PM oh! i saw this and it reminded me of you. thought you might have a laugh [attachment]

You — 9:32 PM hey, you on the way? im throwing your food in the microwave so it’s warm when you get here!

You — 11:24 PM haven’t heard from you. hope you’re okay. food’s in the fridge🥺

Miggy Smalls — 2:12 AM Dios mios, lo siento baby. I’ll make it up to you, I promise

Two weeks ago

You — 9:44 AM hi! thinking of you. i miss you😭 little bit extra today.

Miggy Smalls - 10 AM Does my baby need a hug delivered? I’ll stop by with some lunch too.

You — 10:03 AM oh please! and a kiss too, while you’re at it🥺

Miggy Smalls — 11:45 AM Omw baby. Hang tight

You — 2:12 PM thank you for coming to see me today. it was very special to me & meant a lot. i love you

Miggy Smalls — 3:54 PM I love you baby. Of course. Sorry it’s been a while since we’ve spent time together, work can be unpredictable at times

You — 4 PM all good. just try to talk to me more, so i can be understanding, okay?

It wasn’t all bad. Miguel had his moments where he would show up for some cuddles. He wouldn’t stay long, but those moments were sacred to you. You cherished those moments beyond his imagination. Of course you did, you had to with how rare they were.

Tears rolled down your face as you went through your messages. You missed him so much. More than words could fathom. And with every single fiber in your body, you wished that you could stop feeling this feeling. Missing him was painful. It felt like your body was operating without its heart. Like you were walking around with only one shoe.

It wasn’t always like this either. In the beginning, Miguel was the one texting and calling you first. He was showing up to your apartment with food and a movie, or a puzzle he picked up. Actually, one of your first quarrels was how he felt like you weren’t doing these things for him. And you felt like these were things he enjoyed, so you didn’t want to take it from him; so the resolution was you would take turns. But that Miguel feels like he’s millions of miles away, as if he’s a completely different person.

You tried your hardest to distract yourself, but the screaming red light of your digital clock reading 12:56 PM only mocked you. You couldn’t get the time of his day. Could you even consider this a relationship?

The memories slowly peeled away in your head. Good and bad. And you really began questioning if the good really could outweigh the bad.

A shadow drifts across your window, causing you to sit up, immediately wiping your face with the sleeve of Miguel’s hoodie. If an intruder was going to get you, you’d be damned if it were booger-faced crying.

Immediately, your heart starts to pound in your chest; if the intruder didn’t know any better, it’d almost be as if you were knocking at the window. You reached for your bedside lamp, clutching it at the base, raising your arm as the shadowed figure presses their fingers to push up the window. Without hesitating, you swipe the lamp at the unnamed stranger.

“Ow! Babe?” you hadn’t even realized your eyes were closed shut and turned to the side. You peeked your eyes and there he was in all of his glory.

“M-Miguel?” you sniffled. You couldn’t help it. You saw him and your heart tore. The weld in your throat tightened as you swallowed.

“Baby, it’s okay. It’s just me.”

Only it wasn’t.

[the-duchess-of-domination]

College Tummy Tales

due to popular demand, here is a comprehensive list of all tummy-related events that happened on campus this semester (these are all 100% real, i promise you 😭😭😭)

1. this literally happened last friday. i live in a sophomore dorm with my roommate and best friend. we live in an all-gender wing, so me and her are constantly patrolling the hallways because really weird stuff happens at night. last friday we heard some activity near our door, and we decided to be nosy and see what was happening. we came out into the hallway and saw our RA standing near the bathroom, and this twenty-year old guy we live across from sitting on the floor (he’s SUPER cute, like he’s got that shoulder-length middle part haircut and is generally just really friendly and playful. i think he’s a theatre major). anyway, he was curled up on the floor with a bottle of ginger ale and he looked absolutely AWFUL. we asked if everything was okay and he cracked this really weak smile and told us the fish from our dining hall made him sick, and he puked and felt really dizzy and had to sit down on the floor. our RA passed by and got really worried about him and just stayed with him until he felt like he could walk back to his dorm. my roommate knows about my interests (she’s SO FUNNY and supportive) and she was like 😏 girl you gotta take care of him. i didn’t want to overwhelm him so we let him rest. i ended up texting him later and asked if he was feeling better, and he said he was and thanked me for checking up on him. i guess the moral of the story is don’t eat the fish from the dining hall.

2. i am friends with a lot of male theatre majors LMAO. this story happened like, a month ago and isn’t as eventful, but another cute male theatre major is in my ballet class (he is the ONLY guy in my ballet class), and one morning he was sitting out from dancing and i came over to talk to him. COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED he LAUNCHED into a monologue about how bad his stomach hurt that morning, complete with the moaning and groaning and everything, even like, sitting up and showing me his stomach and pushing it out. i was so stunned i just started laughing and he jokingly was like “why are you laughing at my pain????” and i was like “idk i guess you just saying the word tummy as a grown man” and he was like “my tummy? my delicate hurting tummy? my sore little belly?” i swear to god, the male theatre majors are built DIFFERENT.

3. on the topic, men seem to feel really comfortable just using the word “tummy” in general, which i find amusing. i can count a couple of occurrences of men using the word tummy for comedic effect, using phrases like “tummy ache survivor” or “having a tummy ache and being a very brave boy about it”

4. this next one happened in the dining hall and i thought someone would find it amusing. im not huge into burps, but last week this big boisterous frat guy kept burping SO LOUD in the dining hall. it was so fucking obnoxious and the burps were so long and sustained. i kept looking over to give them the stink eye, and the guy had like, 5 empty plates, so ig he was a little full and gassy or something because LORD. hopefully he didn’t eat the fish 😟

5. this last one is the real kicker. in one of my design classes there is this cute, chubby redhead that sits next to me. before class started he had begun complaining to no one in particular that he woke up nauseous that morning. im a really friendly girl so i guess people just feel comfortable sharing things with me, but during class this redhead leaned into my ear and whispered something. like ballet, i was so stunned i asked him to repeat it, and it turns out my ears did not deceive me. he said “i have a tummy ache” into my ear, and my eyes widened and i just couldn’t believe it. i asked if he was hungry or something and tried to offer him a granola bar from my bag, but he turned it down and said he was going to eat something after class. but WOW. im still in disbelief about that one.

anyway, that’s all i can think of for now. me and my roommate have a counter called “X amount of days without a man telling [my name] about his stomach.” so far we’ve only made it 2 days because that halloweekend guy in my poetry class made me have to reset the counter. anyway, love my roommate 💖 the other day she was like “girl you’re only attracted to him because he had an upset stomach 🤨” and i DIED because she’s so right. the bar is so low, boys.

[littlegreekhero]

TimLonnie headcanons

This is a continuation to my last post :3

Mostly platonic stuff (since i hc lon as aroace), but open to romantic interpretation!

Lonnie is Tim's go-to yapper. Need someone to fight with? Tim just drops a pro-state take mid conversation with anyone and the next thing he knows, Lonnie is yelling with text-to-speech in his earbuds. Need to be grounded about an ethical dilemma? Ask no one but Lonnie. Tim enjoys getting him mad and heated about a subject a little too much and the way he laughs makes it seem like Red Robin is a villain in Anarky comics, and not vice versa.

Midnight confessions with Lonnie go hard. Tim's trying to solve a case about a maniacal genius and Lon casually drops "Red, this seems just like the time i tried to fuse my two brain lobes together, you might want to look into it."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN you tried to fuse your brain lobes together??!? GEE LON,,, is this why we havent been able to pull you out of comatose FOR YEARS??"

Or like "Tim, I know your relationship with a father figure to whom you don't know to which extent you relate to can be hard. I can empathise through my relationdhip with Joker." "With- HUH?"

Tim helps build Lon's mobility aids, devices, and with thorough work of a few years, he's back to not being bound to bed.

Tim also helps him do his hair, because being a badass redhead with a long curly mullet is a lot of work for physically disabled Lonnie.

Bernard thinks Lonnie is an imaginary friend of Tim's at first like when he claimed Stephanie was a made up girlfriend. Tim doesn't correct him for once.

Then one day a mechatronic shows up at the door and asks for Tim Drake. "I was informed he would be around here?" A creepy voice box announces. Bernard screams so hard you would think he's back in the pain cult.

Tim and Lonnie go for picnics in abandoned (ahem, community owned) buildings in Gotham, in costume.

Tim keeps the extra mannequin head Lonnie used to stuff in his costume as memorabilia from their childhood.

Lonnie Machin is the financial advisor of Wayne Entreprises' charities and foundations... uhh.. at least for an hour, before all the bank accounts have been hacked into and the money distributed to said charities and global organisations Lonnie founded through the Ünter/Internet. Tim is grounded for issuing a fake identity to an old villain to do the same villain activity he did years ago.

Red Robin has to pretend to not to see a lot of things Anarky does to keep up with his public image. They kind of continue a fake beef going in between them like old times to keep away suspicion.

"Tim what if he turns back into a villain, how can you trust him so blindly?" "Oh, i would not wish it in any circumstance. He has control over everything i own, after all." "Everything?" "Moneyspider, open my belt pockets please, i crave a snack."

"Lonnie, how can you trust a Bat? Don't you still think he will become detrimental to the cause with this hero bullshit one day?" "I would not wish it in any circumstance, Red pays my physical therapy bills. Plus, he has unlimited access to everything i built." "How unlimited?" "Red, what was the password to my classified files again?'

(Its still "password") (Im still so not over the fact that the options were 1- bakunin 2- proudhon and 3- password)

Lonnie, every now and then changes up Tim's password for safety reasons, and forgets to inform him. This has led to Tim getting logged out of Batfam comms and shit. He hates it but the alternative is him recieving a voicemail randomly in the middle of the night.

Like its 4:20 a.m. and Lonnie randomly drops a 65 digit password. Tim is now up and very annoyed.

[ashascoven]

❃☆ showering w/ the pyromaniac rat man ☆❃ pt. 1

☆ so hi!! um!! welcome to my first fanfic lolz (im nervous about posting this can you tell ?!?! o(*°▽°*)o)

☆ im rlly new to posting on tumblr, but ive been reading fanfics on here for a WHILE!! it's inspired me to write a silly one about my favorite lanky robber <3 if theres any mistakes, PLEASE hit my line abt it (i beg)

☆ here is part 2, which is smut/nsfw, also on my profile!

☆ FANFIC DEETS! junkratxreader ☆

reader is a female who's known for working with plants

VERY lengthy build-up fanfic (LOTS of reading, buckle up yall)

fluff??

emotional stuff, but nothing intense (??)

first time writing an australian accent, pls lmk if anythings weird!!

hope u enjoy :,D

“Hggshmmshh.. peeaachh c-c.. cobbler.. mmh.. eeheeheeheh!! Piee..”

“Dammit! Move over, rat-ass!” 

You felt as if you had finally managed to doze off only a couple minutes ago. 

One second you're about to drift away into a somewhat decent sleep, counting flying sheep and letting your drool start to fall.

The next, you're getting whacked in the head with a metallic hand or shoved by a wooden peg in one of your sides.

Having to share a bed with a loudly snoring pyro-freak who reeked of gunpowder and body odor was not a promising night of rest, especially in a room of pure humidity and sweat. 

The mattress beneath you two was unbalanced and squeaky, the walls surrounding it adorning overgrowing vines and tears in its paper.

His twisting, turning, n’ noises didn't make it any better, but it was kind of reassuring in the sense that you weren't sleeping alone.

When was the last time he even showered anyway? 

Does this man know how to?

How does he sleep like this?

The more you questioned the Australian in your head, the more his body managed to keep sprawling across the queen sized mattress you two shared. 

Both his normal and prosthetic limbs jabbed at your back, his armed belt straps and gauntlets not contributing to your comfort whatsoever. 

“Fucking- MOVE!”

You gripped at the bed and gave him one kick in the ass with your bare foot. 

The maniac yelped himself into a giggling fit, somehow still remaining asleep. 

God, what's his secret to being such a happy sleeper?

With one last scoff, you nearly pushed him off of the bed, but you didn't think twice about it.

Rolling your eyes, you returned to your previous position with your back facing him, crossing your arms and trying to let your eyes close again.

You thought about the mission you two were given together, recalling it hundreds of times in your head to hopefully quench at your inability to have a comfortable sleep.

Back at one of those Overwatch HQ meetings, they discussed wanting to try something new while still maintaining everyone's duties. 

Experimenting with how different heroes and scientists worked one-on-one with one another for “observational purposes,” they said.

Gibberish about increasing the rate of productivity within our cause by cutting down our dispatched team sizes.. 

“More groups of heroes can get sent out on more missions if distributed differently..!”

Blah-blah-blah..

You ignored all of the blabbering at the time, your ears only ever being open for what sounded most important and intriguing.

“It'll be an educational experience for great future references-” 

You reaaaallyy didn't think you'd be in one of the duo dispatches, yet here you were, somehow still in the flesh.

All that was asked of you both was to keep a watch out for anything suspicious at some abandoned town in the middle of who-even-fucking-knows.

Wooden huts n’ houses that were falling apart, yet they somehow still formed and held a small community of humble elders.

Supposedly, this place was a possible target of some well-feared terrorist group, and “Grandpa Jack” wanted you two to scout.

Discussion about exposed plans for making sure as many innocent people as possible experienced war “too” made your blood boil. 

It didn't make sense to you, the whole “no pain, no gain” mindset.

Clearly these people chose to live all the way out here to get AWAY from the danger, why force that on some old people anyway?

With their lack of clean drinking water and functioning power in an empty desert, you were sure they've already seen enough.

“Haven't we lost thousands of innocent civilians already? Omnic or not, they can't just keep coming up with all of this frivolous shit and throw it at us..!”

You grumbled to yourself outloud, unconsciously turning to face the ultimate rat that was laying behind you.

“Why would they send us here if they KNEW there were people out here who needed help? Wasting precious time by sending two of us out here instead of a whole team is beyond me, honestly! We'll just keep getting killed and..” 

Your eyes ended up catching onto your distorted reflection on the goggles that Jamison wore to bed.

It made you trail off and unball your fists, causing you to think about the old people again.

You thought about how much you were gonna get onto HQ's ass to seek a better home for them all.

They were sweet to you and Jamie, and you were pretty sure he would try to take one or two to keep as parents of his own.

Considering he didn't have any living ones anymore, it would check out.

Your eyes wandered off onto the flickering of the dying light bulb hanging bare off the ceiling.

The bulb hung right behind mister sleeping beauty, holding on by torn wires.

You were surprised your sleeping partner hadn't managed to somehow pull it down in his sleep yet. The thought made you smile for a bit, letting your face rest.

Then, your hand reached up to Jamison's face. 

You didn't think much about it since your mind was more on other things still, but you unconsciously held his cheek.

You watched as he smiled in his sleep, gently putting his own hands on yours and nuzzling into your touch. 

The feeling of his rough palm against your skin along with the metal of his other one sent a chill through your body, but you didn't pull away.

Just looking at him resting like a baby put your mind at ease for a bit.. It helped calm your grumpiness from not being able to sleep these past few nights.

It’s been the longest mission yet, and also the first one that you’ve slept together with a person you were sent with.

You ran your thumb over his lightly chapped bottom lip, your mind finally winding itself down.

You two had somewhat of a record of being assigned missions together, but you were never as close to each other as this. 

Something about the way your silly acquaintance slept carelessly in front of you was strangely inviting.

You swallowed your emotions and repressed your urges to suddenly hug the rat man, drawing your thumb lower to his chin. 

You ran it over his speckled face hair, still letting him hug your arm. 

“Mmmmh.. G-gosh, so.. so waaarmm..! waarmm like a maarshmaallooww.. eheeh..!!”

He chuckled in his sleep as his hugging turned into more aggressive snuggling.

It made you wonder if he'd remember anything once he woke up.

Outside of those thoughts, you were heavily caught off guard.

You didn't know if you wanted to comfortingly rub at his hair, continue holding his face, or try to hug him entirely.

Internally? You wanted to do all of those things, but it didn't feel right yet.

Despite all the deep talks you've had with Jamie on the drives and flights to missions together, you guys were still just friends at work, right?

Would it be weird to treat a friend as such? 

Did he think you two were even friends?

You always had a tendency to overthink the simplest of things.

Questions would fog your mind the split second a minor inconvenience popped up, you struggled to help that “problem” all your life.

Yet, your time spent with him so far made it feel like your questioning wasn't a problem at all. 

You always wanted to know the specifics and the “why” or “how” in anything that interested you.

Jamison was similar. He fed into your talks about figuring out what's after death, your master-list of alternatives to milk JUST for enjoying it with cereal. your wonders about what being an omnic felt like, and even your rambles about plants having feelings.

He was so invested into the plant talk that he now avoids stepping on anything green to show you that he cared about nature's heart too.

He admired your outlook on everything, the way you approach things by being your real self.

He also liked that you didn't look down on him for having an explosive personality. 

Everyone else at HQ had something against the lanky robber, but you didn't hate him at all. You two matched each other in the way that you were both transparent and almost always had a fixation or a story to share.

His eyes practically turned into sparkles whenever you two got into your deep conspiracy talks because no one else bothered to entertain his yappering about bombs, especially with mutual ranting about something else.

It was nice, soo..

You guys had to at least be friends, right?

“Mate! Earth’s waitin’ for your grand return! Ya aren’t dead yet.. Are ya, plant woman?”

Friends.. Yeah. You thought you two were cool buddies for all it’s worth.

“Aye! I knooow, me charmin’ physique’s too much to take in aaall at ooonce but-!”

It’s crazy how you were thinking about his eyes sparkling because.. Huh, how come they’re doing it right now?

“I can’t have ya dyin’ on me yet.. Ain’t no doctors around to come and shock ya awake!”

Gosh, who knew the local bombardier had such a twinkle to his eyes anyway?

“Is yer brain workin’? Want me to.. rewire it for ya?”

Twinkle.. twinkle.. twinkle..~

“Well, she’ll be apples! Ya goootta snap outta it mate! What is it ya want this time? An autograph? Some lollies? Aye! Aye..!”

You were so zoned out into the thought of his eyes, you didn’t even register that you were now actually looking at them; he had woken up.

Your hand was still on his face too, but he wasn’t hugging it anymore. 

His robotic right hand was knocking the top of your head lightly while his skinned left one was holding your cheek. 

His facial expression was one of concern despite his messy blonde hair and some drool glistening off the side of his mouth.

With the way he clearly scooted closer to you, you two were actually really close to each other this time.

“Woaahh.. Ooh.. Oh..? OH!!” You froze up again, covering your mouth and (almost literally) getting knocked out of your trance.

“Whew!” Jamison sighed in relief.

“There's me’ plant woman! Turns out me charm was too much for ya to handle afteraaalll!” He chuckled, quickly shifting into a lounging model pose and striking you a sly grin.

“O-Oh.. Oh my gosh! H-How long was I like that?” You panicked a little, wiping sweat from your forehead and quickly rubbing it into the tail of your shirt.

“Since me eyes opened up! Let's say.. ‘bout half a’ hour?”

“H-half an hour?!?”

“Yeah! Are ya alright? Did ya think me eyes were THAT gorgeous?” He chuckled, rubbing his chin. 

“Pshh..” You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms once again.

“It’s alright if ya think so! I think so too! But, ya aren’t allowed to tell me fans that! Ehehe~!” He grinned, suddenly wrapping his arms around you and jokingly snuggling his head against the top of yours.

“E-eugh!! Fans my ass! Wait until they find out that you probably don't even wash yours, you stinky!” You exclaimed, trying to push your way out of his arms but to no avail.

“S-stinky?!?! Hey-! There's a’ supa’ top secret special essence in me junker way o’ livin..! T-the cleanest ya'd ever know!! How 'bout ya take a smell~!??” He challenged, immediately shoving his arm pits in your face and keeping you in his grasp.

“GOD! Quit it!! You smell terrible-! Ugh!!! Let me go right now!”

“Nuh-uh! Hatin’ on me wondrous magnificence ain't nice!”

“Your breath's gonna kill me, you bastard! Agh!! You literally need a bath!!!” You were muffling into his arms, trying to push him away even harder. 

You managed to push yourself upwards, but you still were trapped in his grasp as he giggled n’ snuggled away. 

As much as you hated to admit it, his silliness was really comforting, charming in it's own way even.

Yeah.. he didn't smell the best, but!!.. He was kind of fun to be around. It was hardly ever boring around the rat man.

“Fine, whatever,” You sighed, no longer fighting to leave his sweaty arms.

“Your eyes are.. nice to look at. Anyway, I'm tired and somehow comfortable in this position so if you move weirdly, I'm pushing you off the bed.”

He loudly gasped, his eyes widening and sparkling so much so that you could've sworn staring directly into them would've blinded you.

“Y-ya really m-mean it?!!?!! A-about.. me eyes?!? OoooOOoohh~! I.. H-How I could jus’ kis-”

You cut him off by wrapping your arms around his head. His face was buried into your chest while his arms were still around you.

You felt him freeze, his immediate blush against your chest practically able to burn through you. He didn't scream or pull away, just sat there for a bit, shocked at someone hugging him back for once.

You sighed out again in content, now leaning your face on top of his head. His hair felt surprisingly soft against your cheek, but he still smelled bad.

“God, you smell so terrible.. but.. you're kinda.. comfy and..- Okay you're actually very comfy what the hell.” 

You gushed, your leaning turning into you practically snuggling against his hair.

The rat man stayed frozen in his position, shock taking over his body. For once, it wasn't one of those triggering shocks that turned his trauma into adrenaline; it was a.. refreshing kind of shock? The kind that was making him realize how starved from affection he really was for so long.

He felt like a deer mesmerized by headlights.

“If only you didn't move so much in your sleep, tsk tsk.. I can totally get over the strong burnt tire smell for how snuggly your hair is thoug-”

“Ihh shay..”

He suddenly muffled through your chest, but quieter than his normal tone.

“Eh?”

One of his fingers twitched.

“..Ihh shay shihh!”

“Fucking- Get out of there and spit it out!”

You pouted, pulling his face out of your chest’s cave to look him in the eyes and hear him properly.

“I-I’ll stay.. still! m-mighty still.. i-if ya keep on.. rubbin’ that pretty face on ma’ skull.. p-please? please mate!!”

‘Absolutely the fuck not!’ is what you almost instinctively said, but something about this weird man’s vulnerability around you gave you a feeling his request wasn’t ill intended. 

He nudged you into a softer tone towards him for the night, so you silently raised a brow. He kept pleading, his sparkling eyes bouncing between you and the rest of the room.

“I-I ain't had anyone.. touch me ‘air, l-let alone me whole body i-in years! Feels comfortin’- so- i- uh- p-please mate! i won't be buggin’ ya’ rest any longer i-if ya felt kind ‘nough to.. perhaps grant me thee honor-!?”

“I’m doing it, so hush up.”

“Y-yes m’lady”

He quickly blurted out, before burying his face back in-between your chest with a relieved giggle.

“Hah, for someone who goes by being a rat, you're sure acting like a puppy right now.”

“Y-ya really think so!?”

“Yeah sure, but- hmph, the ‘junk’ part still applies. I'm so close to dragging you into a bath myself..”

“>:(“

“Wait.. This kinda gives me an idea..” 

A mischievous grin growing on your face as you mumbled to yourself.

“Whaddya say?”

He grumbled, oblivious to your scheming. You slowly tried pulling away from him, but to no avail.. He unconsciously scooted closer into your arms with each pull.

“..nothing, ratty-poo.” 

You pushed him away quickly with your hands now gripping his shoulders.

“A-ay mate! W-whaddya push me away foorrr? I was enjoyin’ me time in there.. :(“

He yelped in response, his arms now crossing with a pout.

“No more snuggling until you take a bath!”

“W-whuh!?”

“I'm not cuddling your hair until you wash it.”

“..noooo :((“

“No shower, no snuggle!!”

“:(((... Fine..”

“W-wait- You're giving in that easil-?”

“JUNK ATTACK!!!!”

He yelled, diving back into your chest with his arms around your waist once again. You scoffed, not cuddling or holding him back.

“Rat-ass.”

“Y-yes m-m’lady..??”

“I'm giving you five seconds to get off of me, or I'll kick you off.-”

“N-no!! P-please mate!-”

“I'll go and grab a bucket of ice cold water to throw at you so help me you don't mov-”

You've never seen a tall grown man back up to the edge of a bed so quickly.

“GO.”

You yelled, pointing violently at the bathroom door.

“NEIN!”

“I SAID GO!”

“NO!”

“You want more cuddles from me, right, ratty-poo..?~”

Your tone softened as you twirled your hair and pleaded your eyes at him.

“I- u-uh- y-yes m-m'lady but-”

“THEN GO BATHE!”

He whined another ‘no’ in response, crossing his legs and arms while looking away.

You sighed, before crawling across the bed and hooking your arm around his.

“Lord.. What am I gonna do with you..”

“W-well I- AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!”

“GET YOUR ASS IN THAT SHOWER JAMIE!!”

You yelled again as you held him in a headlock position.

As he whined, you held him there for a bit, thinking.

“Hmm..”

“You l-let go of me t-this instant mate! T-the junkers back in me home town w-wont be pleased with how you're behavin’ towards me greatnes-”

“What if we took a bath together?”

“-and once they find out what you've- huh-!?!”

“You and me, we bathe together. I'll literally help you clean up if it means you won't stink in bed.”

You said casually as you quickly faced him towards you and dropped him onto the bed. He landed on his back with his arms above his head while you sat on top of him.

Questionable position if you may, but you dare not complain about the view.

He was too in shock to notice it either.

He stared at you wide eyed. 

He opened his mouth and put a finger up to say something multiple times, only to close it with more thought and look away, his finger curling up and down with each pause.

He thought about the offer for the long time.

Then, he rubbed his chin. You watched carefully, not letting your guard fall in case he felt like randomly wrapping himself around you again.

“Hmph.. if t-that’s what it'll take.. then I suppose a.. mighty handsome fella like me.. wouldn't mind bathin’ with a.. pretty.. f-flower woman like you!”

“Uh huh..-”

“B-but under one of me’ own conditions!”

“.. you're what now-”

“Bath cuddles?”

He clapped his hands together in a praying motion, pleading with those damn sparkly eyes again. It's like he just does it in command at this point..

“God, what are we, a couple?”

You yawned with closed eyes. 

“I-I.. W-well! Your one an’ only gentleman of’uh bombardier wouldn't complain!”

He nervously smiled and blushed, his gold tooth shining comically as he said that.

It earned a giggle out of you, followed with covered mouth mumbling.

‘You’re so silly, it's kind of attractive..’

“Whaddya say, me’ pretty plant-y mistress?”

“I said, you're so silly, it's kind of.. u-uh- cool-? I guess??!? I don't- Mistress!?- I- W-whatever- C’mon, let's go! Into the baaathh we goo..! C’mon c’moonn..”

You spurted out, getting up and dragging him by the arm into the bathroom. 

You didn't really think through the fact that.. this man would be so close to you while you two were undressed.

Oddly enough, he didn't give the vibe of someone who'd try anything, but it was still weird. 

One second you're forced to share a bed with this guy.. And the next? You've convinced him to take a shower with you??? Weird..-o!!

When you two made it, you both kind of just stared at the bathroom and each other for a minute. 

It was a decently sized room, but the entirety of it was a shower.. literal shower room?.. whatever.

There wasn't a sink or toilet like the bathrooms you were used to. 

Instead, there was just one large shower head in the center of the room, a drain in a corner, and tiles that patterned the floor and walls in a creamy gradient. The two handles for the shower were next to the doorway, labeled for their temperatures.

There were also two slim windows higher up on two walls facing each other, slightly cracked for the steam.

The only light you guys had came from either these windows, or from the doorway to the room you shared, so it was acceptably dim.

Some vines creeped through corners here and there, but it was surprisingly much cleaner than the rest of the hut you guys stayed in. The non-direct warm lighting really set the vibe.

As you turned both of the handles halfway, you watched in surprise as the rat man happily stripped at whatever he had on, going for a dive on the shower floor as if it were a kid’s waterslide with a ‘yippee!!’

It immediately followed with a groan of pain from him, and a reactive facepalm from you.

With a sigh of ‘Oh, what I'll even do with him..’ (ironic), you quickly undid your hair and stripped off your clothes while he wasn't looking.

He swiveled around right as you finished, watching in awe as you awkwardly shuffled onto the floor next to him with a travel sized bottle of soap and a mini loofa.

“S-ssheesh..” he gaped, “what a beautiful woman..”

“T-thanks, b-but don't look too hard, silly guy.” You joked lightheartedly and rolled your eyes, your initiative agenda from before going out of the window because of the attractive man in front of you.

The hot steamy water combined with how it washed away some of the rat man’s dirt made his revealed skin slightly harder to not drool over..

..but you fought any urges or sudden fantasies you had right then and there. 

‘It’s just the lack of sleep getting to me,’ you quickly scolded yourself in your head, ‘.. there's no way I shoul- COULD see him like that, yep..’

“You're.. not too shabby yourself..” You muttered to get it out of your system, painfully controlling your hands from wandering. Thankfully, he probablyyy didn't hear you. 

With that, you were getting to work with your soap on his arms, trying not to think too hard about the man before you.

“Caaan I have me cuddlin’ time with ya noooww, plant womaaan?”

“Noo! I just started with you and I'm not done yet, rat-head.. Be patient n’ be quiet.” You grumbled, finishing his arms and scrubbing his back like a concerned mother.

“Pleeeaaaaseeee…????” He covered his eyes and whined as you made way to his torso with your loofah. The scrubber was barely holding on and you weren't anywhere near finished..

“Don't make me tie you down in here just to get you clean, bastard..” You threatened, moving from his back to his front side. You held at one side of his torso, scrubbing away.

He moved his hands from his face to his sides, looking down at you with that puzzled gaze once again. You glanced up at him with a raised brow before looking back down at your work.

You weren't actually all too irritated. Tired, yes, but it was actually kind of destressing being able to work your hands at something like this. 

You were also literally.. bathing a grown ass man, but you'd be lying if you said anything about preferring to be at home, bored and alone.

At least this mission gave you some kind of purpose, and alongside an entertaining goofball as well. It could be much worse, but it really wasn't bad at all which you liked.

Suddenly, he started patting your head, a close eyed grin on his face.

“Oouuhh… M-mate, ya know.. Thanks a lot for this! I appreciate ya’, I really do!”

“Don't sweat it, poo-face, you were already sweating enough in bed anyway..” You chuckled with another playful eye roll.

“If you weren't gonna bathe yourself, something had to be done for BOTH OF us to catch some rest for the mission, and goddess KNOWS I can't sleep with a loud stinky man..” You responded mindlessly, gently grabbing his face by his jaw and scrubbing his neck.

“It gets.. hard sometimes,” he threw his head back with a sigh, “I know I'm supposed ‘tuh.. do it all me’ self but, I lose me’ mind to the world o’ bombs!” He chuckled.

“You don't say…” You coughed with sarcasm, still listening and cleaning. He's used to your personality by now, and he knows you never really mean any harm.

“Oh, but I do! Even with me’ prosthetics, it jus’ makes it harder n’.. I could never fancy the time to.. uh.. keep takin’ em’ on n’ off..”

“..It bugs me, the pain, it's a reeaall.. buggin' feeling, both in me’ arms n’ legs.. n’.. the mind. It does somethin’ to ya, makes people call ya crazy!” He gestured by wiggling his normal arm, then his robotic one in comparison. 

You put his arms down like an annoyed cat, but you weren't actually annoyed, just trying to reach over him to attempt washing his hair.

“..but really ‘m not.. I.. I just resort to.. expressin’ what takes it all away.. and uh! bein’ me!, ya’ kno- Aauh.. T-that feels.. holy..” He cut himself off, sighing in relief. You had bowed his head under the running water for you to better reach him, unknowingly giving him a more direct view of your bare chest. 

“A-Anything to take me’ mind off the.. A-ahem-.. the uh.. rot.. the distinct feelin’ of not bein’ the same as everyone else.. anymore.” He cleared his throat, awkwardly trying not to stare as he spoke, but you didn't think much about it.

“People stay clear of me all the time! N’ they think I don't be noticin’ b-but I do!” He ran a hand through his hair after you moved down to his legs.

“It hurts, but.. I just keep doin’ me’, I try not to stay in me’ past, live for me’ mum, n’ keep it movin’!”

“Oh! That's also why I like ya’ mate!” He smiled, throwing up finger guns.

“Whuh- Really?” You looked at him.

“Yeah! You don't treat me funny for me’ quirks! You always seemed like.. a couple screws loose in somebody’s noggin never bothered ya’! Me’ motors don't drive ya’ wild, do I?” 

“Pshhh… You definitely drive me crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm never down for a wild adventure with you, rat-ass.”

“See? Ya’ get me! I know your tired n’ all, n’ I'm sorry for takin’ away from your beauty rest like this but..” He scratched his chin and sighed, looking to the side.

“Thanks mate, r-really..” He mumbled, shuffling closer and wrapping his arms around you for a genuine hug.

“I- U-uh-.. Your.. welcome? All I've done was treat you like.. a normal human being? As you.. should be?” You awkwardly hugged him back, confused.

You pulled away, your hands on his shoulders.

“Despite our friendship, I don't know what it is you've REALLY really been through, but no matter how tired or over it I may seem, I still think you're hella cool of a guy.” You warmed up to his hug, patting his back.

“Whenever you wanna chat about.. literally anything in the world, you know who to come to, silly.. Seriously, don't ever sweat it.” You smiled and yawned, going back to washing his upper body off for a second, more gentler time. 

You were surprised he didn't question the hot water in hot weather or how quickly it managed to cool you guys off. It was definitely making you more sleepy though.

“T-thanks, plant woman..” He wiped away a tear, sighing with a contentful “aah” as you tended to him. He leaned back, taking in the feeling of your care.

“Ya know, you're reeaaal good at this.. are ya’, perhaps, experienced ‘n bathing other people?” 

“Wh- This is.. how baths are meant to be taken, no?”

“T-together??!? Mate, I’d kill to have this luxury of bein’ cleaned by ya’ like this all the time!!”

“Whuh- No! I m-meant.. the soap and water, you fucking peanut.”

“Ooh.. W-well!” he pointed a finger up, “I don't care ‘bout standin’ under some lousy water for a’ hour! But.. ya’ make me want to if it means you'll be the one cleanin’ me!”

“You're an adult, Jamie.”

“Don't forget me’ prosthetics-”

“They're literally waterproof sealed..”

“How would ya’ even know that!?”

“You told me this in our past rant sessions, twice I might add.. Something about avoiding radiactiv-”

“Screw you, mate! ( ` ﾛ ´ )”

“..You probably would though. (>ᴗ•)”

☆ if anyone actually makes it this far, tysm for reading!! feedback is 100% welcomed and appreciated <33

☆ i promise ill get the smut out for this eventually.. ill also make a pinned request post soon!! with graduation coming up, im a bit busy :((.. BUT ITLL ALL COME!

☆ ^^ update, here it is!!

☆ enjoy ur day/night yall! eat, stay hydrated, and keep loving junkrat fr ♡( ◡‿◡ )

[borathae]

Chapter 20

oh what happened to her parents and cookie? when did the fire happen? it says years but years could 2 to 20 but she feels like someone who wont say 2 years sooo ancient, uk? so im going to guess 5+ years ago to 19 years max wait how old is our baby?

And who is that shadow sitting in the dark? WHOS THAT SHADOW HOLDING ME HOSTAGE IVE BEEN HERE FOR DAYS (stockholm syndrome by 1d)

omg we could have died and become a vampire and yoongi as our sire woah WOW idk if thats hot daddy or literal dad SHIT FREUD WOULD HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH THIS

THERE ARE MORE VAMPIRES IN THOSE TUNNELS/FOREST AREA??

why does yoongi care? is it the caring of an old person who lived life and wants better life for the young ones or some motive? i dont get it

yay 2seok 😭we are hurt again 💀 honestly how do they put up with her? (no hate to her), like where is the mom mode? the i told you so? like why are you such caring besties? also why am i feeling like oc is a character themself and me at the same time??? like i dont want her to be scolded, heck she didnt know shit but i wanna be scolded???

“They didn’t, she is just being dramatic. I fed her my blood before she could die, she’ll heal”, Yoongi answers him dryly. wow so normal, and good news

also rip dogecoin dog

jin i doubt you wanna call him a vermin

I am tired of vampires messing with my brain.” mood

oh somebody crying on ur chest and u cant do anything other than tell them "they are strong and was just a child, was never their fault" you know it does nothing much for them, but some comfort for the night, a little amount of time until the pain and demons are back again, that shit hurts a lot, eat me away but i have to strong and fine for her cuz she deserves it fuck im rambling bye lol

Hoseok was nice enough to carry a TV up to your room and install it on your dresser. he is the man yall 😭😭😭

I don’t want to be the one doing the finishing blow.” .. “How are you so sure?” CUZ U DID THIS TO URSELF INSTEAD OF HURTING HER KOOK, U STILL HATE URSELF, filled with guilt and self loath, it shows ur humanity and the fact that its better you than anyone else heal please, let yourself heal. you did whatever you could, everything is not in your control and hence is not your fault

did jin put hard raisins in the cookies??? i soak them, that way they are chewy in the soft cookies

I feel like a bitch, but fuck it’s getting so exhausting to pretend that their sweet gestures are working.” ... “Because I don’t want to hurt them. They are doing so much for me”.. "I don’t want to hurt them by telling them that what they are doing is working shit.” wow somebody really decided to call me out

“Shit ___, I thought he liked you. Why would he do that to you?” fr, that too he tried to protect with the ring and stuff, what did they do to him?

YES SHE CONNECTED THE DOTS MY SMART BABY I LOVE U I smelled orange blossoms and cedarwood ooh thats what they smell like

Why k-kill me for it? W-what, what did do to them?"  changed taehyung and they hated it i guess

If I hadn’t angered them so much or provoked them so much maybe they wouldn’t have hurt me."  NO U DIDNT BABY, ITS ALL THEIR FAULT

Jungkook watches you as you blow your nose and wipe your eyes ... you force down a new wave of sobs... you hit your own chest to get rid of the pain. fuck that pain, that hurts a lot

He knows that gesture, he had done it a million times before in his lonely, isolated life. And it rips him apart to see you having to do it too. You should never have had to feel so broken. fuck i feel the same, knowing how much that hurts and never want them to feel, but kook and her are hurt and nothing can change it

its funny that you never feel the same for yourself, you felt that for somebody, now change that somebody to yourself whats so hard about it? too hard

“Did you just use my words against me?” stop he is cute im giggling through runny nose

“You’re cute Kook”, you tell him fondly, pinching his cheek. He lowers his eyes and scrunches his nose up UWUW THEY ARE SO CUTE SHUT UP PLS

YOONGI IS GOING TO TEACH THEM??? FUCK YES

“___ stay away, I’m dangerous again”, he squeaks. u were fine just now

right, we cant change his mind, and she cant change her mind either and taehyung just idk ah

You just never should have chatted up Alpha."  true, but im sure joon would get to us somehow and that means tae and jimin too. maybe it will take longer thats all

“You’re finally done withering away?” he asks coldly. how nice

Hoseok scratches the back of his neck, “yeah uhm, that’s fine too.” pls hes trying his best

“sure, I can smell the honesty in your sweat.” Hoseok smells himself, furrowing his brows. hobi baby really believed for a second there lol

I got broken up by my boyfriend in the rudest way possible and almost died. fr

“Hey”, Jungkook says, waving his hand shyly. HE IS UP AGAIN YAY

“I have my methods, trust me.” ok min suga genius jjang jjang man boong boong

“Nothing, I just can’t stand you.” i just know jimin would have said, then sit down

“W-what?” he stutters, looking at Yoongi with big eyes. EXACLTY LOOK AT LIL BABY, U CANT BE RUDE

“let’s go eat Kook, I’ll show you how to hunt animals.” “Really? You can do that?” Jungkook gasps, seeming excited. YES AND IT BEGINS YALL YEEHAW

“I can’t decide if I like this dude or not” fr hobi

“What did you do in your room yesterday?” she danced to itzy, thats all

“I didn’t slip on the pillow, I tried to kick the pillow and slipped on the carpet which resulted in my twisting my ankle and then falling on my tailbone” beautiful, i can totally see it. cuz i did fall similarly once

“Even better, shit I would have loved to see that”, he wheezes. tag urself, im hobi

Jungkook drags himself into the room, plotting down next to you with a loud yawn that exposes the back of his throat to all of you. wow that too in those pink briefs and socks THAT ARE PULLED UP ALL THE WAY worse than what we wear when delivery guy comes

was he that sleepy he didnt smell her? mood cuz thats the type of vampire i would be, sleeping for hours

“Hey ___”, he says, laughing awkwardly. MOM HES SO CUTE FUCK

“Yeah, ha. Hahaha”, he scratches the back of his neck. He is so flustered, you know he is. 100% i just know his neck would be all red

He seems to be proud, watching Jungkook with a fond smile. So he did it on purpose. Make him chuckle with a funny story and lessen the anxiety he feels. He is so sweet sometimes. irl its jin the ice breaker and its soo good uknow??

“Stop talking to him like that!” you speak up. PERIODT UR SCARING THE BABY

“You will not go to your apartment on your own” fr thanks yoongi what joon or jimin is waiting right there???

“It’s decided then”, you say and drag him with you by the collar of his leather jacket, “come now.” AAH TOO HOT FUCK THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS THING

Protection. You think I’ll let you drive without it?”

It squishes your cheeks and hurts your nose as he pulls it down, making you groan. “Jesus, you want to strangle me?” “Sometimes yeah” I LOVE THEM

That’s the problem with Yoongi. You never know if he was joking or being serious. ngl taehyung did that too, in the previous chapters

“My plants, I need to take care of them”, they are prolly dead 💀

“Aaaah that”, you smirk. “Princess seriously, invite me inside.” FUCK SHE IS REALLY TEASING AND TESTING HIS NON-EXISTING PATIENCE thats both hot and funny as fuck, sorry yoongles 😭😭

“I don’t like the fucking games you are playing today, you hear me?” “Yoongi pull your knee away this instant” He pulls away immediately and steps back, fixing the heavy rings on his fingers. what a rude but cute distinguished gentleman

oof what a bad boi “You are such a freaking dick, no wonder you have no friends” shots fired oof

WOW HOLY SHIT JIMIN WAS WAITING THERE LIKE A JOBLESS IDIOT

If he would have been the one to find you….” he trails off, blinking rapidly. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? WHO?? NAMJOON YOU MEAN??

“you are literally such a good person and I fucking hate it.”yup figured that “You made him good. Taehyung, you gave him back his humanity, made him vulnerable, reminded him what happiness feels like and I hate you for doing this to him.” there, asshole said it

I just hate that you are the reason Taehyung hurts.” but its you tho, use 2 braincells for that

“….did you get it?” his voice slowly comes back again, as if you were finally submerging from water, “Save. Him.” bruh, leave his alone for that

OH YOONGI FUCK WHERE WERE YOU, no actually its good u stayed inside, we got some info

damn this was long anyways feelings were feelings, emotional as fuck now

oh what happened to her parents and cookie? when did the fire happen? it says years but years could 2 to 20 but she feels like someone who wont say 2 years sooo ancient, uk? so im going to guess 5+ years ago to 19 years max wait how old is our baby?

in Sanguis Alpha she is around 23-24 and the thing with Cookie happened when she was around 10 😭

omg we could have died and become a vampire and yoongi as our sire woah WOW idk if thats hot daddy or literal dad SHIT FREUD WOULD HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH THIS

that would actually be so hot nfdnasf 🥵

THERE ARE MORE VAMPIRES IN THOSE TUNNELS/FOREST AREA??

SCARY SHIT LIKE HELLOO

why does yoongi care? is it the caring of an old person who lived life and wants better life for the young ones or some motive? i dont get it

gaah these are the right questions indeed 👀

also rip dogecoin dog

THE DOG DIED??? why would you just drop that so casually noo omfg I'm genuinely so sad right now 😭😭

jin i doubt you wanna call him a vermin

JFAJDSF he gives no fucks and I admire him for that <3

oh somebody crying on ur chest and u cant do anything other than tell them "they are strong and was just a child, was never their fault" you know it does nothing much for them, but some comfort for the night, a little amount of time until the pain and demons are back again, that shit hurts a lot, eat me away but i have to strong and fine for her cuz she deserves it fuck im rambling bye lol

no but I love that she has Hobi to comfort her :( he is such a good person and amazing friend 😭

Hoseok was nice enough to carry a TV up to your room and install it on your dresser. he is the man yall 😭😭😭

him him him him him !!!!!!!

I don’t want to be the one doing the finishing blow.” .. “How are you so sure?” CUZ U DID THIS TO URSELF INSTEAD OF HURTING HER KOOK, U STILL HATE URSELF, filled with guilt and self loath, it shows ur humanity and the fact that its better you than anyone else heal please, let yourself heal. you did whatever you could, everything is not in your control and hence is not your fault

I SOB BECUASE OF HIM HE IS SO 😭😭😭😭

did jin put hard raisins in the cookies??? i soak them, that way they are chewy in the soft cookies

jfjadjf I feel like no matter he would have prepared him, Kookie would have hated them fnadsnf

I feel like a bitch, but fuck it’s getting so exhausting to pretend that their sweet gestures are working.” ... “Because I don’t want to hurt them. They are doing so much for me”.. "I don’t want to hurt them by telling them that what they are doing is working shit.” wow somebody really decided to call me out

I feel that, I'm sorry you have to feel this way :(

“Shit ___, I thought he liked you. Why would he do that to you?” fr, that too he tried to protect with the ring and stuff, what did they do to him?

LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT?????

Why k-kill me for it? W-what, what did do to them?"  changed taehyung and they hated it i guess

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

If I hadn’t angered them so much or provoked them so much maybe they wouldn’t have hurt me."  NO U DIDNT BABY, ITS ALL THEIR FAULT

PLEASE SOMEONE HOLD HER

He knows that gesture, he had done it a million times before in his lonely, isolated life. And it rips him apart to see you having to do it too. You should never have had to feel so broken. fuck i feel the same, knowing how much that hurts and never want them to feel, but kook and her are hurt and nothing can change it

I feel so sad for them please 😭😭😭😭

its funny that you never feel the same for yourself, you felt that for somebody, now change that somebody to yourself whats so hard about it? too hard

YES 100% that's me for real

“Did you just use my words against me?” stop he is cute im giggling through runny nose

hoihihiihihih <3 him <3

YOONGI IS GOING TO TEACH THEM??? FUCK YES

I LOVE THIS ENERGY FNNF

You just never should have chatted up Alpha."  true, but im sure joon would get to us somehow and that means tae and jimin too. maybe it will take longer thats all

yes 100% it would have happened regardless, especially because Tae clearly had an interest in her (in whatever way) from the beginning, so it would have definitely happened

“You’re finally done withering away?” he asks coldly. how nice

he is so kind and sweet and loving <33 :)

Hoseok scratches the back of his neck, “yeah uhm, that’s fine too.” pls hes trying his best

he is just a lil pookie :( <3

“sure, I can smell the honesty in your sweat.” Hoseok smells himself, furrowing his brows. hobi baby really believed for a second there lol

“I have my methods, trust me.” ok min suga genius jjang jjang man boong boong

he would probably throw you if you said that to him at this point of the story fjasdjf

“Nothing, I just can’t stand you.” i just know jimin would have said, then sit down

lmaooao I meaaan

“W-what?” he stutters, looking at Yoongi with big eyes. EXACLTY LOOK AT LIL BABY, U CANT BE RUDE

HE JUST A LIDDOL BABY (he is meant to be a dangerous killer)

“let’s go eat Kook, I’ll show you how to hunt animals.” “Really? You can do that?” Jungkook gasps, seeming excited. YES AND IT BEGINS YALL YEEHAW

LETS GOOOO

“Even better, shit I would have loved to see that”, he wheezes. tag urself, im hobi

lmaooaoa me for real

Jungkook drags himself into the room, plotting down next to you with a loud yawn that exposes the back of his throat to all of you. wow that too in those pink briefs and socks THAT ARE PULLED UP ALL THE WAY worse than what we wear when delivery guy comes

NO BUT HE IS SO CUTE LIKE I NEED HIM

was he that sleepy he didnt smell her? mood cuz thats the type of vampire i would be, sleeping for hours

thiiss or maybe Yoongi's training is starting to work ohohooh

“Hey ___”, he says, laughing awkwardly. MOM HES SO CUTE FUCK

I love him :')

“Yeah, ha. Hahaha”, he scratches the back of his neck. He is so flustered, you know he is. 100% i just know his neck would be all red

yes gaaah I jujst ufcking locve him

He seems to be proud, watching Jungkook with a fond smile. So he did it on purpose. Make him chuckle with a funny story and lessen the anxiety he feels. He is so sweet sometimes. irl its jin the ice breaker and its soo good uknow??

yes gosh I miss him </3

“You will not go to your apartment on your own” fr thanks yoongi what joon or jimin is waiting right there???

I love protective Yoongi fnfnf

“It’s decided then”, you say and drag him with you by the collar of his leather jacket, “come now.” AAH TOO HOT FUCK THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS THING

GIRL I FORGOT I WROTE THIS AND LOST MY FUCKING MIND UFKCKCKCKCKKCKC

the meme is me for sanguis Yoongi for fucking real

It squishes your cheeks and hurts your nose as he pulls it down, making you groan. “Jesus, you want to strangle me?” “Sometimes yeah” I LOVE THEM

ngnnfadnfn THEM THEM THEM fuck they were so exiciting

That’s the problem with Yoongi. You never know if he was joking or being serious. ngl taehyung did that too, in the previous chapters

an i oop-

“My plants, I need to take care of them”, they are prolly dead 💀

honestly? 100%

“Aaaah that”, you smirk. “Princess seriously, invite me inside.” FUCK SHE IS REALLY TEASING AND TESTING HIS NON-EXISTING PATIENCE thats both hot and funny as fuck, sorry yoongles 😭😭

FUKCCKKC I LOVE THEM FUCKKC I WANT THEM TO HATE FUC-

“I don’t like the fucking games you are playing today, you hear me?” “Yoongi pull your knee away this instant” He pulls away immediately and steps back, fixing the heavy rings on his fingers. what a rude but cute distinguished gentleman

he is all like "i may be a cunt but i ain't about that sexual harassment" JAHHAHA

oof what a bad boi “You are such a freaking dick, no wonder you have no friends” shots fired oof

THEY WERE SO MEAN TO EACH OTHER GAAH

WOW HOLY SHIT JIMIN WAS WAITING THERE LIKE A JOBLESS IDIOT

fajdsjfajds

If he would have been the one to find you….” he trails off, blinking rapidly. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? WHO?? NAMJOON YOU MEAN??

whooo does he mean helloo??

I just hate that you are the reason Taehyung hurts.” but its you tho, use 2 braincells for that

no but what if he isn't lying then waht?? hellooo???

OH YOONGI FUCK WHERE WERE YOU, no actually its good u stayed inside, we got some info

HAHAHAH you're like "good thing we almost died"

[mikeyelistsukasa]

Hear me out…a poly relationship with between Mitsuba and Kou (again h-) BUT…they are yanderes :)

(Take your time and have a nice day/night ^^)

Intresting and simple explained request nice. also love yanderes☺️

Yandere!Poly!Kou & Mitsuba sharing a Darling

Jesus fricking christ

They are a pain in the ass in general

BUT YANDERES???

kou can’t keep you hostage because of mitsuba

And mitsuba cant keep you in the broadcasting room because of kou

So you’re lucky you have freedom! Just know that you also have 2 bodyguards the whole time

If you get lots at school Mitsuba 99% will find you faster than kou

I mean he is a ghost after all

Kou like mitsuba but is pretty jealous of Mitsuba because you mostly spend time with him at school

Like last time he had to sit and have lunch alone because he wasn’t able to find you two(which is super rare)

So he just goes off and beats up people that were too friendly or mean to you. But if its a supernatural then he ofc kills it

He just thinks of what he will do AFTER school with you because he for sure will not let you hang out at school to hang out more with Mitsuba

„There you are you two! Where were you???“

„Well Mitsuba showed me a new place and-„

„OH OKAY COOL lets go home“

Mitsuba could tell what he was doing

„But s/o i still haven’t showed you the other place!“

„Can you two stop tugging on my uniform??“

They both let go but didn’t stop giving the other one that kind of glare

You eventually left with Kou thinking you haven’t spend enough time with him

You two gifted Mitsuba a phone long time ago so he can call in case he is lonely (which he is 24/7 without you)

So you can imagine how pissed off he was seeing you two post a picture on instagram eating (fav food)

These two have such weird love hate for eachother

Like

You watched them fight over stuff so you came up to someone because you were bored watching these two

And suddenly you hear no yelling behind you

Because these two are busy giving the person a death glare

Th person left though because of kou‘s death glare

Mitsuba wished people could see him too so that everyone knows you belong to him

After the person left these two nodded knowing they had some business to do after school.

„Whats up with those glares you weirdos -_-“

„Tsk you’re the weirdo here“

„Oh s/o sorry my love i was thinking of uh how my brother teru blew up the kitchen yesterday“

„Aw no im sorry to hear that. Maybe i could come to your house and help you clean up?“

„YES NO“

Overall you have no bullies due to these two

You all 3 face time in the evening

And sometimes break into the school‘s building to have a sleepover all three

The chaos only starts if one of then gets jealous

Thank you for the request! Sorry if its too short. Please visit again sometime <3

[megalony]

I’ll make it better- Part 2

This is a follow up of my Druig Imagine, I’m getting back into writing for the Eternals, any Druig requests would be lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez-blog @jonesyaddiction @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me  @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ceres27 @avyannadawn  @noonenuts​ @sleepylunarwolf​

Eternals Taglist: @that-girl-named-alex @ginger-swag-rapunzel​

Masterlist

Part 1

Summary: (Y/n) and Druig have been through a lot over the thousands of years, but not long after they find out their expecting, Druig has to use his powers on (Y/n) to protect her.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Druig was doing what he had never done to anyone before.

His mind started to prod around in (Y/n)’s head, seeing all the memories she had stored, the recent ones, her favourite ones, and then the ones that frightened her. Druig found the memories he was looking for, the ones from seven years ago surrounding their first pregnancy that had gone so very wrong.

It made Druig want to scream and be sick when he could see how those memories were affecting (Y/n). They were fracturing her mind, they were breaking her inside and out and the pain was wearing her down, if he didn’t do this she would be broken completely and he couldn’t lose his beloved wife. Those memories were the ones that were causing these nightmares which Druig could see, he could see how the memories were ever so slightly changed and tweaked by her mind so that when she dreamt of them, she woke up in a state of fright.

The mind was a cruel thing, especially when it turned on itself. Druig had to make this better for (Y/n) and their baby.

He did the only thing he could do that would help, he pushed those memories so far down into the recesses of (Y/n)’s mind. Into the black hole, right at the back that sucked the unimportant memories or the dreaded ones the mind needed to shield itself from.

He wasn’t erasing them, Druig would never take those memories away from (Y/n) for good and make her forget about their first baby. That would be beyond cruel of him and it would never be his choice to do that, it would have to be (Y/n)’s choice to forget and he knew she never would.

What Druig was doing was hiding those memories from her mind, they would still be there but (Y/n) wouldn’t acknowledge them. It would be like a dream, she could recall fragments and splinters of those memories if she was really trying, but for now, they would stay an illusion. They wouldn’t bother (Y/n), they wouldn’t frighten her or wake her up in the middle of the night, they wouldn’t break her soul with the grief they caused. This was necessary, it was what needed to happen so that (Y/n) didn’t lose herself and Druig didn’t lose the most important thing in his life; his family.

When he was done, Druig pulled (Y/n) closer, letting her head fall on his shoulder as he had put her mind to sleep to process what he had done.

He was careful when he turned himself around and slowly laid himself back down, gently moving (Y/n) so that she was laid leaning on his chest. Druig kept his arms around her as he pressed his lips to her head, breathing in her scent as he let the tears fall.

He had done the right thing, hadn’t he?

After all, he hadn’t erased the memories forever would bring those memories back soon, when the baby was born, when he knew (Y/n) was strong enough to remember and move on with those memories still there.

But for now, they would stay away and Druig would carry the grief and pain for both of them. Their baby wouldn’t be forgotten, Druig was simply laying them to rest in (Y/n)’s head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A soft, melodic hum sounded through the air, a tune (Y/n) couldn't quite remember where she'd heard it but it had been stuck in her head for a few days now. As her humming quietly filled the air, (Y/n) walked over to the table beneath the window and slowly began to place the freshly cut roses in the vase. They were Druig's favourites. She preferred this time of year when the flowers started to bloom, winter was unique but hardly any flowers bloomed beneath the snow and the table looked so odd without them.

When her eyes glanced up out of the window, a soft smile formed on her lips and a flutter of adrenaline sparked in her chest. The midwife was here.

As if coming out of a trance, (Y/n) looked down at her stomach and slowly started to rub circles on her skin like she was trying to wake up the baby.

"Any day now." She whispered quietly before approaching the door.

Druig must be busy, he said he would come back for the appointment but something must have held him up. After all, he oversaw everything happening in the village, this was their new domain and Druig wouldn't have anything happening or going wrong. He was a peacekeeper here, he wouldn't let the humans turn on one another again and rage wars like they had seen in the past.

Every other midwife appointment they had, Druig had been here but he was a little on edge lately. (Y/n) didn't want to press the issue, she didn't want to push him because if something was bothering him and it was bad, he always told her what it was. Usually he didn't even have to tell her because she just knew what was wrong but this time, it was just something she couldn't place.

"Good afternoon (Y/n), how are you today?" Delia smiled as she entered the cottage and followed (Y/n) through to the living room.

"I'm feeling good, my back hurts a little, but I'm doing good." She was feeling normal, but ready to get it all over with. Some of the pregnancy seemed to have passed by in a dream. She had been worried, nervous and had a few restless nights but more recently she felt a lot calmer.

Sometimes it felt like she was walking in a daydream just waiting to wake up. But now she was ready to have this baby. They had waited so long for this opportunity to come round and (Y/n) wanted the baby out and in her arms already. This was her and Druig's miracle and she was done waiting for it to arrive, after a lifetime spanning hundreds and thousands of years, who knew just a few short months would drag on into eternity?

"That's great, let's just examine you."

"Do you think they'll come soon?" (Y/n) couldn't keep the excitement out of her voice, she was desperate to see if they had a baby boy or girl and to see them in Druig's arms. Something about seeing their child in his arms made her heart clench and her mind swirl with some distant thought she couldn't quite place. It made her feel nostalgic and maybe, just a tiny bit, sad.

"I think you might go into labour within the week." Delia smiled and shook her head as she finished examining (Y/n) and motioned for her to put her shirt back on.

That was clearly what (Y/n) was hoping for.

(Y/n) smiled and tried to answer the last few questions, these checkups never lasted long but she felt more at ease when Druig was at her side. She couldn't wait to see his face when she said they could see their baby in as little as a week.

"Now, you're resting and sleeping aren't you? You're not getting overwhelmed or worried?"

"A little, but I'm doing fine, really." She didn't want to bother worrying Delia with her nerves.

She and Druig didn't think children would be on the cards, they had been married for years and together for hundreds of years when the Eternals used to be together as a big family. Now they were on their own, a baby seemed perfect but (Y/n) did find herself worrying. What if something went wrong? What if their long-awaited baby wasn't okay? No other Eternal had been pregnant and it made (Y/n) fear this was all some kind of dream or that there was a complication.

What if the labour didn't go well because they were Eternals? Maybe they didn't have children for a reason, maybe her body wouldn't naturally go into labour. Maybe her body would mess things up and hurt the baby. There were so many what ifs because this was foreign territory for them.

And she couldn't list all of these worries to Delia, she didn't know what an Eternal was. She thought (Y/n) was simply a new mum, another human going through a natural process that had been happening since the beginning of time.

"Okay, but when labour does start, you call me right away. I know last time you didn't have anyone with you when things went wrong and you're worried something might happen like that again but I'm here to help. This next baby will be fine."

"Hmm."

Something was clicking in the back of her mind, like a tiny little puzzle with the pieces starting to slot into place.

(Y/n) couldn't quite figure what she was talking about but there was something in her mind she just knew. Something that burned like a simmering, flickering candle flame, so small but still burning brightly at the back. A baby. Not this baby, not the one she was cradling deep within her, not the baby her arms were trying to reach inside her large stomach. A different baby, from long ago.

She didn't have a child, did she?

(Y/n) could feel her mind drifting away from her and she walked in a trance, following Delia and watching her leave, but not really knowing she'd gone. She didn't realise she had walked back through the house until she was upstairs and her hand was curled around the handle of the bathroom. But it still felt like her mind wasn't hers, it was like she was on autpilot with some random thought and destination in mind that she didn't know about.

She barely opened the bathroom door before her hand pulled away like the door had been struck with lightning.

She didn't want to go in there! Her hand retracted from the door and shot straight to holding her stomach and when (Y/n) closed her eyes, she could see a river of blood. She'd never seen so much blood in all her years and it was sticky, it was just like super glue coating between her legs and all over Druig's hands and up his arms.

A shiver ran up the base of (Y/n)'s spine and spots just like flecks of blood danced before her eyes and she fell to the floor with a bang.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A soft smile pulled at Druig's lips when he noticed the flowers on the table. Roses, his favourite.

"(Y/n), you home?" He rolled his sweat-ridden sleeves up to his elbows and walked further into the house. He hadn't meant to be home this late but time seemed to run away from him while he was out. "Darling?"

Surely she hadn't gone out, and if she did she wouldn't have gone very far. Druig couldn't imagine his wife going very far when she had complained of back ache this morning. Maybe she had gone for a nap.

Since he had surpressed her memories, the nightmares had all but gone like they did before they got pregnant again. (Y/n) started to sleep and things stopped levitating and crashing through the house from nightmares. Druig had seen his wife finally start to calm down and relax and she was even smiling when she looked at her stomach when before she would tear up or look away.

Sometimes he wished he could use his powers on himself. It would be so much easier if Druig could turn those same memories into distant dreams he could almost forget. He wouldn't feel such a heavy weight in his heart or that creeping feeling of dread about what was to come when they had their baby. He wouldn't see a river of blood when he looked at the bathroom floor and he wouldn't keep dreaming of that tiny little baby wrapped up in his shirt.

Brushing his fingers through his hair, Druig headed up the stairs but his heart lurched into his throat and he tripped up the last step when he looked ahead to the hallway.

"No, no! (Y/n), sweetheart... come on."

Druig scraped his hands against the floor to try and push himself up and he skidded across the hallway towards his wife. She was laid on the floor on her side in front of the bathroom.

When he reached her, Druig gently held her face between his palms and turned her head from the side so she was facing him. This thumbs brushed over her cheek and pressed into her skin to try and stimulate her to wake up. Was she ill? Had she just felt tired and collapsed? No one would have attacked her, no one in their village would have reason and they wouldn't dare do that to her.

"Darling..." A sigh of utter relief left his lips when he saw her eyes start to flutter open and he leaned down to kiss her temple.

His heart was hammering against his chest as he leaned down and tucked his face into the crook of her neck, nuzzling into her skin for a few seconds, breathing in her scent before he reluctantly pulled back. He kept his thumb brushing across her cheek and he waited for her eyes to focus on him as her hand shakily grabbed his wrist.

"What happened?" Moving his arms, Druig wrapped them around her waist and slowly sat her up so her back was leaning up against his chest.

"I- the blood..."

"What?"

(Y/n) felt her heart skip a beat when Druig's hand moved faster than she could comprehend. His fingers started tracing every inch of her that he could find, checking for some kind of injury or source of blood that he hadn't noticed before. His fingertips danced across her face, skimmed her lips, her arms and her legs before his touch turned shaky and delicately traced over her stomach.

Druig couldn't help it. He didn't mean to, he really didn't but his fear got the better of him. His hand found (Y/n)'s cheek and a gasp left her lips before Druig's eyes turned golden and her mind went blank.

He could see the little fractured memories trying to come back to the surface after all his hard work in surpressing them. He had hidden them to calm her down, to give his lover a sense of peace and time to heal without being bombarded by them, they couldn't come back uninvited like this. Not when Druig had done everything he could to keep them at bay, he'd even controlled the midwife when she came round so she didn't do something exactly like this and cause a mess.

Now what was he supposed to do?

He either had to bring the memories back to the surface and hope that they didn't cause the same havoc as before, or he tried his luck at surpressing them again. But Druig didn't want to keep doing that, he couldn't hide them away forever. The longer he did that, the less likely (Y/n) was to ever come to terms with what happened and he couldn't face explaining to her why he did it and for how long.

He didn't have chance to decide what to do with those memories, (Y/n)'s sudden moan of pain shocked him from her mind.

What was happening?

(Y/n) moved her trembling hands to cradle her pronounced stomach that was suddenly tensing and tightening in a way that was frightening, new and oddly familiar. She leaned her head into Druig's chest and tried her best not to dig her fingers into her stomach but she couldn't help it when the tightening feeling turned into a searing pain that made her body quake.

Oh no.

"Sweetheart, wha-"

Druig couldn't get the words out quick enough. They both looked down but what looked like (Y/n)'s waters being broken was joined by a sudden trickle of blood on her leggings.

He hated the way she screamed. It was a noise that was so familiar but he hadn't heard it in years. Druig didn't even want to think about the last time he'd heard her scream in such a blood-curdling way but the memories were flooding back to him just like they were coming back to her in fragmented pieces.

"Shh, shh it's alright. You're okay sweetheart, you'll both be fine."

With his breath held deep in his lungs, Druig wrapped an arm around (Y/n)'s back and slipped the other beneath her legs so he could pick her up bridal style. He held her to his neck, holding his breath a little longer when her arms suddenly barracaded around his neck and jolted his head down against hers.

"W-what if we lose-"

"No. I won't let that happen." Druig couldn't think like that and he certainly couoldn't have (Y/n) thinking like that either. It would only make her feel worse and they didn't know if things would turn out the same as they had last time. This time was different, they had gotten this far along with no trouble, this was almost the end now. They were so close.

(Y/n) could feel a shiver running up her spine when Druig gently laid her down on the bed and for a moment, her mind went blank. She couldn't feel anything, not the soft bed beneath her or the sweat dripping down the back of her neck. She couldn't even feel Druig's lips that were pressing to her forehead and the voltage pains in her stomach had ceased. All she could feel was a sense of nostalgia that wouldn't go away.

It was an awful sense of dread clawing at her chest and tightening her throat. Her arms were desperate to be full with her baby but something told her it wasn't going to happen. It had evaded her before and it would do the same again.

Memories clawed at the back of her head, a blook-soaked shirt wrapped around a tiny baby they didn't have. A bathroom painted in blood and full of agonsing howls. A husband screaming in heartbreak.

Maybe she wasn't supposed to be a mother.

'Why would you think that? You know that isn't true.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A shiver ran down Druig's spine when he felt (Y/n)'s nails digging into the skin at the back of his neck. He knew she didn't mean it and she probably didn't realise she was puncturing into his skin but he held his breath when she tugged him closer. If she pulled him anymore he would fall on top of her and squash her.

He was sitting up on the bed with (Y/n) leaning into his chest. His arms were wrapped around her waist but she had an arm looped around his neck to try and get some sort of comfort from him but he couldn't move much further when they were already meshed into one.

His lips pressed to her temple but it took all he had to control himself, he was desperate to slip into her mind and dig around but he couldn't. He couldn't mess with her mind when she was in a fragile state already. (Y/n) was in agony, mentally and physically and if he tried to surpress her memories again he might do some permanent damage.

But she was heartbroken in his arms and all he wanted to do was make things better and make this as easy and smooth as possible.

They had been on their own for over an hour before Delia managed to come back- thanks to Druig slipping into her mind and getting her to come back. After that he'd dulled down the panic (Y/n) had been feeling and tried to rid her mind of the distorted memories she had.

The mind was tricky, bad memories turned dark and had random twists that weren't real. Sometimes faces changed or the sky turned red instead of blue or the carpet turned into quicksand. Things got warped, especially the horrid thoughts and (Y/n)'s memory of losing their baby had changed in little ways. There was blood as black as night up the walls and in the bath in her memory and when she looked down and saw the blood on her legs, all she could think of was being stuck back in the bathroom again.

So Druig had tried to push that memory down into the black hole once again so (Y/n)'s screams would stop.

"Almost there, the head's born." There was an air of worry in Delia's otherwise calm voice that made Druig feel uneasy.

But at least this was easier than the last time. Druig didn't know what to do last time, there had been no time for him to try and get a doctor or a midwife and he couldn't leave (Y/n) alone. Within an hour everything was done and he was left with a baby in his arms and blood on the floor and covering his arms and knees. This time, he didn't have to do any of that. He wouldn't be the one holding their baby and bringing them into the world and he was both relieved and a little upset about that.

“Alright, a little more and then it will all be over."

Druig didn't like the way (Y/n) was almost biting through her lower lip to control herself and stop from bursting his eardrums. He had already told her to scream, to cry and shout and let everything out if it would make her feel better.

Moving his hand, he slowly skimmed his fingers up and down her thigh while his lips pressed to her cheek.

'You're doing so well, darling.'

(Y/n) couldn't breathe.

Her hands dug into the flesh of Druig's arm that was wrapped around her waist but it didn't ground her like she hoped. Her eyes were shut so tightly they felt like they were going to burst and her blood was throbbing beneath every inch of her skin.

The baby was gone from her, they had been disconnected. It was happening all over again.

For a brief moment, Druig's eyes changed from their usual chocolate brown to a golden caramel. His hand moved from (Y/n)'s thigh to cradle her neck and the side of her face before he gently tilted her head until her face was pressed into his neck. His lips smothered her forehead, planting wet kisses to her burning skin until he felt her finally start to breathe again. His eyes went back to chocolate before they closed and he took a moment to control his own breaths and inhale her scent.

"W-why aren't they crying?"

(Y/n) couldn't hear a cry or a wail or even a little shallow breath being taken, just like before. What had she done wrong? What was wrong with their baby, why weren't they okay?

She could feel Druig quietly whispering something against her temple but she couldn't work out what he was saying.

Druig's eyes focused on Delia who was kneeling at the edge of the bed with a small bundle in her arms wrapped in an old towel. (Y/n) had already voiced his worries when he didn't hear a cry. It was a long shot to even think that them- Eternals, beings who lived for thousands of years, could have children together. Being pregnant twice felt like a miracle in itself but the first time hadn't gone so well and Druig had been praying since the moment he found out about this baby that history wouldn't repeat itself like it did with the humans.

But before Delia even had a chance to say anything, a small, deafeningly quiet wail shocked them all. (Y/n) tried to push herself up, she tried to move but she didn't have anything left in her to move, so she settled on stretching her arms out and curling her fingers in a desperate plea to have her baby in her arms.

"It's a boy,"

Tears streamed freely down both their faces when their boy was gently placed in (Y/n)'s waiting arms and he was settled on her chest. The feeling was suffocating but in the best kind of way.

(Y/n) could feel Druig's arms enveloping around her, meshing with her arms and their hands blended together, resting on top of their baby boy. He looked unusually pale and a little grey beneath the blood and fluids, but he was perfect.

'I'm so proud of you.'

[celestie0]

HI ELLIE!!! Omg, I just started reading IHM. I was originally going to hold off until it was done (or mostly done), because I'm a serial monogamist when it comes to a series (RIGHT NOW I AM LOYAL TO KICKOFF lol), but I ended up reading IHM anyways for some reason. I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH. I know that we're only two chapters in, but I always love and adore how much thought goes into your characters and writing. I found myself giggling the whole way through lul. One thing I noticed after chapter 2 is as much as Gojo annoys reader, he's also strangely attentive to her needs and is a complete foil to Choso. I'm sure this was supposed to be obvious, but I thought it was very sweet how he called her beautiful in the dress (the same dress that Choso didn't acknowledge her in) and how the ring he picked for her was similar to one that she had saved in her wedding mood board. I'm pretty sure it's not exactly intentional on Gojo's part (or maybe it is?? hehe), but I thought it was an interesting detail. Also, I know this is within spoiler territory, so don't feel obligated to answer this, but how angsty will it get between reader and Gojo's relationship? :,) I know that they're both still healing from personal trauma from their past relationships, so will that come into play as they develop feelings for each other? It seems that Gojo is hesitant to talk about his divorce, so would that be a factor or an obstacle that will hinder him from getting too close to reader? Can't wait for future chapters!!! <3 Thank you for spoiling us *__*

OH MY LOVE THIS IS SO SWEET N CUTE N MADE MY ENTIRE DAY!!! PLS???

omg i feel you about the serial monogamy towards one series/show at a time 🤣 except for me it’s probs just hyperfixation 💀 but i’m so happy you decided to give ihm a read 🥺💕 it means sososososo much to me n i’m really excited for the seriesss

AWW IM GONNA SOB TYSM i have put quite a bit of thought into the characters in ihm bc i really want it to be like a web? of interactions btwn them all, and i’m so glad you saw that choso is foil to gojo!! yes!! he is very attentive to her, and i think sometimes it’s intentional n other times it’s just bc they’re meant to be honestly 😭💕 we’ll see that reader too is very vigilant too despite everything she’s got going on :”) i LOVED writing the scene where he calls her beautiful in the dress, every girl deserves to be called pretty in a dress she really adores!! and yeah the ring was totally coincidental but 🤣 again i guess they’re meant to be? hahaha

yesss i think there will be quite a bit of angst between the too, mostly surrounding their ex lovers, and just in general their pasts. i kinda wanted it where reader has lived in town her whole life (childhood home) whereas gojo mysteriously moved in next door less than a year ago, so they both don’t know much about each other despite being next door neighbors. but honestly i think a lot of the angst actually comes from secondary plotlines that end up bringing reader n gojo together!! but there will still be angst between them for suuuure 😭😔 yes gojo is very hesitant to speak up ab his divorce, sorry i simply cannot write gojo without avoidant personality bc i feel like he bottles up a lot in the show too so it just felt fitting 💀😞 but for reader too, i think she kinda…doesnt care to learn much about him as of right now bc she finds him annoying lol, and then later on when she has feelings i think it’ll be too painful for her to learn ab certain things too…so yes definitely i can see how they both would avoid their feelings and instead do the thing most adults do and joke about their feelings to lighten tension or completely avoid them all together 😃😃 (or do i just need therapy loool)

THANKS SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK my love :”) hope you have a wonderful day/evening/night!! much love from me <33

[popcornforone]

You’ve Not Lived, Until You Feel Alive

Chapter 2 of Is That All Mr Gutierrez series

Master List

Chapter 1

Thanks for the love for chapter 1 peoples, I know it was a little different to what I usually write but I need to character builds in this one. When we get to the smut it will be exactly what you all want.

Synopsis: Time has now passed & its 10 years since you had your first kiss with Javi. A lot has changed, & you’ve both grown, but your therapist is asking you to write a secure blog only they can see to get you to believe in yourself once again.

Word count:2500

Warnings: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18! THIS IS A VERY TRAUMATIC CHAPTER! I know this will not be for some of you, it gets dark, but I needed it too, I have to break the reader before they get to have fun. Death, murder, suicidal thoughts, violence, terrorists, cancer, shooting, blood, pain & suffering, angst, agony, anger, PTSD, mental health, nightmares. Pining, wanting, unrequited love not being returned, break ups, loss, sorrow. This chapter is done in a blog, journal format.

Again I am sorry if this is triggering or too much, but I needed to do this to character build. If you want to skip to chapter 3 that’s fine, it will be published soon.

Thanks for understanding peoples, it means a lot, & thanks for reading it’s always appreciated. Don’t worry the smut is on its way, I promise.

Secure therapy Blog post 18

I almost didn’t publish this. I really didn’t think anyone would want to hear what I had to say after the events but my therapist said I should just write when the day happened. Writings my therapy, it’s my creative outlet.

But today was the day the unimaginable thing happened….

My dad passed away & im not sure I can go on.

My dads been unwell for a while. We knew it was cancer & it disappeared about 4 years ago but then it came back, & it was incurable.

Nothing the doctors said… there’s nothing we can do… he’s got 6 months… go make memories with him… so that’s what my mum

& I have done.

My mum to have to go through another loss in her life. Another heartbreak, another good bye. I’m not ready to post about the other heart break yet, but I will do one day. It not mine that happened I don’t recall it.

But we have spent the last 18 months with my dad having the best time in the world. The Gutierrez wedding in Cuba for Javis older sister Luna was so much fun, my dads face as I danced with Javi after few too many drinks, thinking of what I could have had with Javi from my time as a teenager crushing on him. It was like time had frozen. My head buried into Javis neck, inhaling his scent for old time sake. The way his hand stroked my back, making me want more. Trying not to think that his fiancé was looking right at us. She knows I’m just his assistant & look after the legitimate side of the business. She has no idea the feelings I have hidden away from her soon to be husband. A pipe dream I had 10 years ago when I wrote my teenage diary.

But then we got home & dad took a downward turn. & he told me to be brave & go after my dreams & to always be true to myself.

When he was still with us after the 6 months the doctor originally told us, we took each day as a blessing. I don’t believe in god, but I know my dad does. Every night I asked my dads god for one more day with him. & obviously I asked for one too many.

Watching him pass was heartbreaking & but also soothing. He was no longer in pain. & what he did medically for the world to help & try & find a cure still astounds me. My dad went through awake brain surgery to see what happened when it was operated on & how it affects the body. He was so brave. If that procedure saves one life, my dads pain & death won’t have been for nothing.

The Gutierrez’ have told me to take as much time as I need. Javi has sent around a vase of black orchids, my favourite, he always says he sees my inner goth whenever he looks at them. He’s said the business can wait & that he can look after himself for a few days, but I am already missing that dimple & cheeky smile. Even now he has a calming influence on me. It’s just him, it’s just J. He will always be there for me. & yes it’s weird that one of my closest friends in the world is a drug lord & part of the mafia, but we run the legitimate side of the family empire. We run it well. & Javi knows a day will come when he has to run all of it. He’s not looking forward to that but he knows it’s his destiny. He & Sofia will raise an amazing family & have a fantastic life & I will watch by the side, maybe with a family of my own, watching them be happy & be glad I have a small part in their life.

My dad told me to be happy. & that’s what I’m going to do… be happy.

He wouldn’t want me to mope around & wait for life to happen.

So that’s what I’m going to do.

We will have the funeral, Javi Senior has said we can have the wake at their mansion, no need for us to have it in our hotel.

But then I think I need to take that gap year I’ve always promised I would do.

I want to see more of the world than just Spain & England. I want to experience life. I want to feel alive. That’s what my dad always said, you’ve not lived until you feel alive.

Dad I miss you.

I miss your smile.

Your kind eyes.

Your bad jokes.

& I miss that you will never walk me down the aisle or watch me grown into a woman. I know I am a woman but I have so many life experiences to come & you won’t be there to watch me grow & fail. Become proud of myself & who I become.

I love you dad…

I’m not sure I can do this without you…

Secure therapy Blog post 26

I’ve put this off

Everyone’s told me to type

Everyone asked me if I’m okay

I say I am

But I’m not

So here goes

4 months ago I nearly died…

even typing that feels like a weight has lifted off my shoulder

It was horrible

I should not be here

I can still feel the heat when I drop off to sleep

The dreams & nightmares are so vivid

Every day awake was already struggle & now my peaceful sleep is full of flashbacks of horrors or my worst nightmares

It’s pain like nothing else

I was in Rome, after seeing the opera, just on my own. I needed from space from mum, work & Javi. His break up was hurting him a lot & he’d been making rash impulsive decisions. It’s most unlike him. So I suggested I went away for a week, have some me time & so he can get over Sophia. The last thing we both needed was to be moody in each others presence.

So I flew to Rome, did all the sights & went shopping, hooked up with some guys & stayed in a nice hotel & went to the opera.

Then at 3am as I slept in bed I felt warm, it was September so the weather is to be expected. & then I heard the noise, & smelt the ash. A car had exploded outside our hotel & the front of the building had caught on fire. I grabbed my phone & keys & headed to the fire escape.

I could feel the heat surround me, my lungs desperately needing air, as this ash fog just coated my throat. I remember seeing some people pass out, lots of screaming & items on the floor that I did not register. I knew I had to make it out, I had to see everyone I cared for one last time

I know that in the last 18 months since my dad passed I’ve felt helpless & suicidal at times but I’ve always found strength & love from others, it’s got me though it. I needed to get out in one piece. I needed to be with everyone even if it is just to say goodbye.

But then I got to the lobby to make my way to the exit. This was not just a car crashing & exploding, this was a massacre. This was an attack on the hotel & its guests. Bodys burnt in front of my eyes, some people bleeding out, bullets & weapons across the floor. Death stood between me & my exit. How I had got to this part of the hotel still alive & not in pain was a miracle already. As I stepped across the lobby heading for the exit, I could just hear my dads voice like he was there going, you’re doing so well sweetheart, you’re almost safe, you can make it. A few more steps & the horrors will be over. You can almost smell the fresh night air, keep going.

Maybe there is an afterlife, maybe he was reaching out to me but I knew I had to make it across & get tho the exit. It took me a while but I stumbled eventually through the exit & gasped as the nights air filled my lungs.

But then the horror continued… but I have no recollection of it. All I remember is the high piecing screech & suddenly feeling warm as something hit me. Blood trickling & seeping through my sleep shorts. I had been shot. I know I blacked out but there was just one thing running through my mind before my face crashed into the hard cold concrete path. That i would was never get to apologise to Javi for telling him to man up after the break up, for not telling him that I knew Sofia was having an affair sooner, & for not telling him that he has been my true love from the moment I met him, aged 13.

27 of us survived the hotel siege. My mum said I had a face Picasso would have been proud to paint when I woke up. She was crying but her humour got me through it. She’s had so so much loss in her life. Losing me would have hurt the most, she’d have no one. We agreed one step at a time, keep things slow, but I keep having these nightmares from the day. I now know it was the police who shot me by accident thinking I was apart if the group storming the hotel & I am being compensated, I mean it is there job to protect everyone & not take any risks. But I was in my jammies how many terrorist siege a hotel in pjs?

Seeing Javi when I got back here on the island was perfect. All our anger & frustration with each other had gone. We hugged & cried & promised to never be mean or hide anything from each other again. & then he broke my heart just before I went to tell him how I really felt about him & that he helped get me through that night & how he was the last thing I thought of before I blacked out. He said I was his best friend & he knew we would always have each others back.

It still hurts much like the wound in my leg. It hurt deep. But if Javi just wants us to be just friends I can cope with that. I just want Javi to be happy that’s all. I want to watch him grow & flourish & live his best life. I want the world for Javi & if that means I’m just a friend, I hope I can deal with it.

I’m so glad I have a secure server to type on.

This has really helped me today, & so has looking back at all my old posts. Therapy has really made me not feel guilty, that I’m here & those people aren’t. Survivors guilt is real & it’s painful. I do still wish at times that I didn’t make it out but my dad was the voice in my head telling me to keep going & that I am strong. My mum will always have my back. & I know I can trust Javi to support me in everything as a friend, even if that’s all it is. But I do wish it was something more…

Secure therapy Blog post 32

It’s been a while… it really has

My therapist told me to write

She told be to be honest

She told me she would read this

She told me to say it

I am worth something

I am not defined by my recent trauma

& I am valid in my pain

Last week was not only the 2 year anniversary of my dads death but also the day I received my compensation for being shot & the findings report from the massacre were released on the same day, it hit me like a train & i seriously considered with all the emotions & conflict inside me, if my life actually mattered

My mums back in London, to complete the renovation of the new dinning room & kitchen of our hotel there, my best friend is on her honeymoon, & no offence to you my therapist, but I knew what you were going to say. I wanted something else or someone else to validate me.

I’ve been staying at Javis on Saturdays recently, he says that’s when he misses company the most & he usually has meetings or church on Sunday mornings. So I was just standing in the kitchen cooking us dinner, when everything just over came me, the knife in my hand looking so sharp & inviting, would anyone really miss me if I killed myself right now…

I didn’t even know Javi had entered the kitchen, but I knew the second I came out of my paused trance that the tingling sensation Within me was from his hand removing the knife from mine, putting it out of my reach. His other hand stroking my back going up & down my spine. I felt like I was actually breathing & being seen for the first time in almost 2 years.

& that’s when one of my favourite songs came on the playlist i was listening too. & I just rocked with Javi in silence, his arms tightly around me waist, squeezing the pain out of me but also filling me with love & purpose… the moment I finally turned my head to see him & his big puppy dog eyes, the lyrics sang “when nobody understands you, well I do” played. We both just softly smiled at each other no words being said.

When the song ended he asked me if I felt better & that I was always welcome & safe in his house or his parents villa if I need some space & didn’t want to go back to the hotel. I told him I knew that, he told me because that’s what best friends do we say nothing & we just understand don’t we…

I should have told him there & then that I was now sure I wanted more but the moment was so pure & perfect & gave me purpose again, that I didn’t want to ruin it with heart break for me if he rejected me. I couldn’t cope with that, not right now. So I’ll continue continuing on

I know my place

& I know Javi will always be there for me…

Chapter Three

[golbrocklovely]

since i have nothing else to post right now…

here’s the last of colby’s tweets from 2020.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~

Oct. 1 - love doing things for myself

Oct. 4 - i’m in so much pain. sos

fan: u ok?

poison oak. everywhere …. everywhere.

Oct. 5 - i like the simple things

Oct. 7 - less is more

Oct. 10 - i wanna make you happy

how am i so busy during the day but still manage to find 2 hours to mindlessly scroll through tik tok? i can’t be the only one

Oct. 14 - i care too much

Oct. 15 - somehow it wasn’t enough

Oct. 18 - fan: I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE WHO ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT COLBY SMELLED LIKE..I WANA KNOW WHAT COLOGNE HE WEARS

mayonnaise

(i hate this man so much lmao)

Oct. 19 - Justin Bieber’s new song made me tear up, that dudes been through so much. no one could even imagine what that’s like.. achieving everything and being in the biggest spotlight at such a young age.

Oct. 20 - @/samgolbach: less than 6 months ago i broke my back. and i decided to take that as a challenge to get healthy again. and today i ran the fastest mile i’ve ever run. so yes, i might be an idiot but i’m a determined idiot 🤘🏼🏃🏼

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 that’s an insane accomplishment ! i remember when it was a struggle to stand up out of bed

new day, same cycle

Oct. 21 - my mom is texting me all the young pictures of me and it’s bringing me memories i didn’t know i had

Oct. 25 - panic attacks late at night are the worst

Nov. 1 - @/colbybrockscar: reminder that it’s no nut November!!! @/ColbyBrock doesn’t even have to try. He’s got this shit in the bag. It probs comes out like baby powder if he tries

did my car just roast me ?

Nov. 4 - this is scary

cuties! all 3 of you! (reply to fan in merch with friend and cat)

Nov. 6 - @/GracynCarr: I can’t believe the audacity of a high school tweet to pop up on my timeline lmao.. miss u tho @/ColbyBrock :)

hope you're well xx

Nov. 8 - so much talent thank youu love (reply to fan's art)

fan: Um. So I tweeted this to you before but alot has also changed since then sooo wanted to say thank you 🖤 🖤 @/ColbyBrock

proud of you, and good luck with your dreams darlin 🖤 you can accomplish anything with the right mindset and hard work. i believe in ya

time flies, and i’m so scared of losing my youth. it’s inevitable i know, but damn makes you wanna cherish every moment you got

Nov. 11 - i hate when nothing is wrong but nothing feels right

Nov. 12 - the person who makes you forget about the rest of the world

Nov. 13 - today marks 6 years since we posted our first YT video on the MAIN S&C account .. 🖤 what a wild ride

Nov. 14 - promise you i’m a good waste of time

Nov. 15 - @/katstuartmusic: “sunday is my funday” - colby brock 2020

🥂💁🏻‍♂️💁🏻‍♂️

fan: Colby u get drunk off of one white claw

fight me

other fan: my money is on mags

round house kicks to the face don’t feel too good

(is it bad that i like when colby gets weirdly violent with us sksksks)

Nov. 16 - the Why Dont We dudes are some of the nicest people in LA

*Nov. 17 - @/gabytriana: It’s out! Sam and Colby were so much fun to work with, and despite what Colby said, I did not hate him when we first met! 😆 Both he and Sam are super kind, smart, generous entertainers who know how to tell a good story! I love them both!! Happy Book Birthday, @/samandcolby

hahaha thank youu so much for all the hard work ! so excited it’s finally here

(interestingly enough, colby didn't delete his tweet… gaby did)

Nov. 19 - went to a Pyschic Reader tonight. my mind is blown. im not a skeptic anymore, video coming tomorrow

fan: Get ready for religious people to freak out

the psychic i talked to was religious, i’m not sure how but i think the two concepts can exist at the same time

Nov. 21 - hard to trust

fan: @/ColbyBrock hey, i love u lots

love you 🖤

Nov. 23 - fan: imagine if @/ColbyBrock responded to this

could you imagine

Nov. 24 - fan: lmao okay so my friend put this together when I FINALLY received Colby's reaper merch yesterday and I had to laugh, I am actually stupid. But I thought it was a lil funny so y'all can see it too then xx

hahahha love it. thank you. you’re not a sack of potatoes in my eyes

Nov. 27 - happy b day @/SamGolbach you know this and imma save the sappy shit for your big 25th bday but i wouldn’t be here without you. you’re the most intelligent, deep thinking dude i’ve ever met and i feel pretty damn lucky to be able to call you a business partner AND best friend

Nov. 28 - take it easy

Nov. 30 - should i hop back on tik tok?

Dec. 2 - @/aaron_doh: At least I got a photo shoot out of it 😄

whaaat. dude i wish you a speedy recovery

Dec. 3 - it’s hard to move on

Dec. 5 - a nice escape is all i need

welp. i guess i’m a lightweight

Dec. 9 - miss you

Dec. 14 - all the baggage that comes with me

Dec. 15 - been workin hard for you , announcement tomorrow

fan: omg are you pregaganant

how'd you know

@/samandcolby: announcement tomorrow… 2021 will be the best year of our lives (and probably most difficult)

fan: are we getting married?? is that why?

yes

i hate how having anxiety makes me nauseous. it’s the worst feeling

Dec. 16 - it’s all about living in the moment and making every. second. count.

fan: yeah @/ColbyBrock how much are you charging for tattoos…

free for you

Dec. 18 - big tool pic but i’ve been workin hard

@/mannymua733: we absolutely do not mind

hahahaha

(god damn… this pic is still so good lol)

also cold weather always makes me want a special someone to spend time with. cuddle buddy is neeeeeded

fan: okay but can we just take a second to appreciate how hard colby’s been working in the gym because dayum

thank you sweeeetheart

fan: HELP COLBY IS TRENDING

yoo i love you guys 🥺

Dec. 20 - got tatted last night and i barely remember

how i feel this morning (pic of him floating)

fan: you’ve seen elf on the shelf… but have you seen cole in a hole? (@/ColbyBrock)

i’m mad i laughed at this

Dec. 23 - why’d ya have to change on me

so bittersweet saying goodbye to my childhood home of 18 years… i’ll only be back to kansas to visit and sleep in hotels from now on. strange feeling, but so happy for my mom and dad for taking a chance and moving

it’s like i don’t have a real “home” anymore. since i move so much anyways it’s hard to find a spot to actually call home

fan: i just want to say that colby has helped me through so much this year. i had a tough year as many others did but you’ve seriously have helped me through so much. i love you so so much @/ColbyBrock

awh that’s why i make videos in the first place. for people like you

Dec. 24 - addicted to you

my mom and i are the weirdest duo on the planet when we’re together i swear

fan: Make a video with her for Christmas

my whole family despises being on camera 💔

Dec. 25 - fan: momma brock is the sweetest ever

she’s my favorite woman in the world

Merry Christmas friends ! 🖤

i wish i could have face tats for like one week but it doesn’t really work like that huh

Dec. 26 - everyone’s battling their own demons

Dec. 28 - fan: Colby drinking wine but he's such a lightweight that he's probably drunk, lmao @/ColbyBrock

🤫🤫🤫

fan: the vibes are fucking ethereal i’m guessing @/ColbyBrock

you got it

[collidingxworlds]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST.

name. Scotty

pronouns. they / them

preference  of  communication. Tumblr IMs or Discord (even if I’m selective with whom I hand my Discord to. We need to have talked at least a bit here before)

name  of  muse. I currently have 6 active muses, 1 test muse and 2 request muses on this blog

rp  experience  /  how  long. I don’t remember how long exactly I’ve been RPing for. It has to be at least 8 years. I started on another site and then landed on Tumblr about 5-6 years ago

best  experience. I don’t have a specific episode that I consider the best ever, but in general the best experience is connecting with kin minded people and build a world of plots and interactions through of our characters. It’s always a lot of fun and very stimulating.

rp  pet  peeves  /  dealbreakers. No rules / muse(s) page. Drama / callout culture. DNI for specific characters. Cyber-bulling (and yes, this includes bullying people for liking content that you consider “problematic”. Grow the fuck up and get a life). Untagged posts / untagged NSFW, or too fancy tags that are hard to blacklist. Being self-absorbed dick in general.

fluff,  angst,  or  smut. Angst is one of my favourite things to write, so that’s definitely my pick. I still like a happy ending after navigating an ocean of feels, pain, trauma, broken spirits, crushed dreams and so on x’D But yeah, angst all the way. Fluff is good to balance more intense threads, so I don’t mind indulging in that too. As for smut, I’m extremely selective with it. I write it with trusted people only, and only when inserted in the context of a developed scenario / ship.

plots  or  memes. I’m definitely partial to plotting. I like creating long-term storylines, dynamics and arcs / verses. It’s really important for me to plot at least the general idea for first interactions especially, because it helps me getting an idea of what the other person is looking for.

long  or  short  replies.  I’m a descriptive RPer, so I almost exclusively do multi-para and novella threads. Single para are for brief interactions / crack.

best  time  to  write. I don’t really have a specific time. My inspiration comes and goes as it pleases, it could hit me at every hour of the day and of the night. I usually end up writing at night mostly because it’s when I have more free time.

are  you  like  your  muse. I share some threads with most of my muses, but I wouldn’t say that I’m like them. Perhaps, the one I’m the closest with, personality-wise, is Five. I’m very cynic and pessimistic, I can be very harsh and too straightforward, I’m insanely stubborn, I have real poor people skills and a potty mouth (not always but when I let myself speak freely...yelp) xD

tagged by: @knightinsourarmor (( thank you! ))

tagging: @omniishambles @imprvdente​ @paradiseturnedhell​ @elisethetraveller​ @governmentofficial​ @waywardfeathered​ @rapxir​ @motleysort​ @aubainmary​ @batteredoptimist​ @ncxile​ & whoever wants to steal it !

[avada-kedavra-bitch-187]

In hospital yay😭

Apologies if this don’t make sense i like just got home from hospital a little bit ago and still feel some effects of morphine (the pic and words above pic i posted while on morphine😂)

They gave my 2 things of morphine while i was there as well as something for nausea and toradol when left

My nephew when i came in my moms room crying goes are you kidding i thought we did this already and my dad goes did what and he goes the crying (i cry sometimes and one time I’ve cried like a month or 2 before because if pain(we thinking it was kidney stones this kinda confirms it and they just taking they sweet time)) i was offended but i thought it was sort of funny but i was hurting to bad to laugh at it

*got sick* a good bit

Got *sick* because of pain

Was freezing my ass of the whole time

I mean my teethe were chattering

My doc Ron looks like Jimmy Palmer (older version) i told him too (when he got wheelchair so he could take me to where my mom was pulling up closer to the hospital) and he goes I’ll have to look him up and see what he looks like (pretty sure doctors and nurses heard cause they started laughing)

I had a CT slam with dye on my abdomen

I was in so much pain i couldn’t rlly sleep even with the morphine

Was there from about 10:15pm-1:30am

Sunday March 19, 2023- Monday March 20,2023

And not to mention we live like 10 min away from hospital and a lot of roads were closed so it took longer

If i had to go to surgery if it was a gallbladder or appendix thing or to get the kidney stone removed i would have to go even further for a hospital that can do stuff like that

Couldn’t have any water and it sucks cause my mouth was dry as hell and it’s worse cause of *getting sick* i could have ice chips which did nothing and made my mouth even drier

Pain started at like 9:25

It was so much fucking pain and on top of that was on my period and i have PCOS so the cramps were worse and then got kidney stones on top of that

Can’t take certain meds cause if it so im just gonna get off all of them (it’s a lot like 9 a day 5-6 in morning 3 at night) until Thursday (certain meds can react to the dye they gave me for CT)

I have kidney stones on both kidneys some aren’t moving but the one causing me trouble is the one on the right and it is 2mm so they said i could pass it and made me finish my IV and gave me toradol and sent me on my way

One of my sisters was mad no one told her i was in hospital

My mom took pics of me while i was like high on morphine😂👍😅

I didn’t even rlly sleep when i had the morphine and my mom was shocked a couple times she thought i was asleep but rlly wasn’t

I was so cold when i left for CT my hands were so pale and could (it was like you could kinda tell by the nails too) hear my teeth chattering. He made me sign something and i almost got my mom to do it cause i didn’t thing i could (the 2 blankets they gave me did nothing for me)

Also used sick bags and had to bring home 2 more just incase

When i got home first thing i did was brush teeth and drink a while thing of water also ate just a lil (cuz all my food that was in my system is gone) before i went to bed like they didn’t have mouth was or anything i could use to get the *sick* taste out my mouth

IT WAS GREAT😂

——————————————————————————

Legit had to go back to the ER Nov 12 again because i was in pain and was “sick🤢” because i had kidney stones but honestly it felt a lil dif so i though it was a cyst on overies rupturing. And i had an infection so that sucked