#im tired man and its overwhelming | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

donttouchtheneednoggle · 1 year

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realising ur trans is so stupid bc before yes it felt like life was just always gonna suck no matter what I did and I was doomed to low-mid grade misery with occasional high grade sprinkled in forever and all I could do was not dwell on it as much as possible but now I know what's probably causing it and that there's a way forward I actually have to do something about it and I don't know where to starttt

#dont mind me venting #its fuckin weird bc ive known since college but i haven't??#like i was all its fine if everyone irl still calls me she and a girl and daughter and most organisations i interact with still deadname me #spoiler alert it was not fine #but i just shoved it all down so far and was like wow i have no body dysphoria #even though i quite clearly did #and haha im glad i don't need to engage with anything medical #and now im pretty surei di and im scared #the last three months have been a revelation lemme tell u 😅#and through all of it im working with feelings that disappear if i look straight at them #bc im so used to supressing them im having to actively work to feel them #but i just know i cant ignore them i can't carry on as i am its downright irresponsible when there's a chance i could be happy #and it would just cone back up even if i shoved it back down #im just #im tired man and its overwhelming #anywayyy dont mind me its all good really 👍👍#i told my mum thats something right #mine #gender adventures with neednoggle #vent tw #ignore me #imma get up and go for a walk that'll help #i worry im acting like being nonbinary without dysphoria isn't being trans #it absolutely IS #it's just not who i was or am and so it feels like i wasn't properly out to myself #and am only now properly realising i am trans?#like before it was just another hollow identity ig #but it was still just as trans and it is for anyone else too #p sure im still nonbinary just over masc side #but at not that masculine lmao

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martyrbat · 9 months

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instead of dangerous new year resolutions that capitalize off my insecurities or dwelling on any of the shit that happened today, im learning how to knit :) im awful at it, probably always will be because FUCK my hands are so shaky—and im having a blast in making the soppiest stitches known to man and that motion alone

[ID: twenty stitches of light pink yarn on a single metal knitting needle. END ID]

(^ guy who will go through all these before getting one (1) knit stitch on)

#metal needles probably arent the best but also im autistic and am sidney crosby levels of bad with change so. struggle now excel later >:3c #it is 12 though and i haven't slept in 2 days so im probably going to go to bed in a hour or two but in the meantime this is fun #for Christmas i got a cheap pack of needles and 4 balls of yarn (pink yellow blue black) & some dark curtains so that was nice at least :)#ransom note #not looking forward to seeing my family tomorrow. ended today in a procrastinated breakdown because im so tired and was overwhelmed #and my dad will be in until the 28th so. hunker down and push through #<- its kinda funny how i shit talk my dad more than my mother when shes arguably much worse but with her im more irritated and ignore #with him i have that 'this big man is pissing me off and being mean and gross at me so i need to fight him' instinct which plays into it #<- the rose wilson in me........

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gooopy · 2 months

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Fml. I have mental illnesses for real fhat arent just garden variety anxiety and depression <- sorry it turned into a vent/rant in the tags. The perilous poster

#THIS IS NOTHING IM FINE !!!#i just had to remember earlier that sometimes i dont get to be myself #and i drove through my ahit moms town for no reason #and we got a kitten and of course i feel like the only one reasonably concerned #so idk if my concerns are valid or if im overreacting and i dont know how much of my worry is justified #what if im just being a party pooper?#ANDDDD on top of that i dont know where the kitten is rn. and its fine. ots fine #but my mind keeps flashing me images of him stuck somewhere or hurt or somethinf #and i was supposed to be watching him but i left to make food #but my family keeps going 'oh lets do a small trip' so i dont add anything to the list #and then they get a bunch of bs and i dont get any food #WE DONT NEED COSMIC BROWNIES MAN I NEED TO EAT A REAL MEAL THAT MAKES ME FULL PLEASE GOD #and our older cat hates the kitten and im worried the stress is gonna kill him because hes fucking 19 #agghh aaghhhhhhh and i cant keep up with everyone and im overwhelmed and i think im just like #upset because i havnt had real food but fuck man idk what to do about that #i coukd bike down to the store and get a sandwich #but my stupid brain keeps going 'if you leave the kitten will die and its your fault'#even though thats not fuckong correct #and i just. aaghhh. aaghhhhhh #and im overheatinf rn but i cant go to my room bc aforementioned kitten desth prophecies #and i. just. aaghhhh ghhhhrrhhhh ghrrrr #im fine im fine i just need to complain i need to be a bitch #ANDDD im tired cause i coulsnt sleep which isng helping #god ive been having a bunch of panic attacks lately too i stopped having them so much after quitting school

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possiblytracker · 1 year

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MY FINAL GRADES CAME IN AND MY DEGREE CLASS IM TECHNICALLY A GRADUATE NOW..

#GOT A 2:1 IM VERY HAPPY WITH THAT #ITS LIKE. THE B OF UK DEGREES #NOTHING I CANT DO WITH IT EITHER WAY IM VERY PLEASED :)#did SURPRISINGLY very well on my research paper as well. yknow. the one that ruined my life for 2 months #its not like!! official til the graduation Ceremony in july #but AUGH. now it FINALLY feels more real. shit man i really did that #and now i am back home. and my attention can turn from house cleaning/moving out to Art #and. um. fixing my social life a little more #but gimme a hot second i am so tired from travel and also the huge overwhelming release from anxiety

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piplupod · 6 months

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i feel a feeling that is genuinely intolerable and go "okay what do i do with this"

therapist brain says "feel ur feelings, its unhealthy to suppress all the time." rational brain says, "hi if we sit with this emotion then we are going to either be bleeding or dead in approximately ten minutes. so whats another option." therapist brain goes "wellll i guess in that case maybe u can distract urself idk, that can be a coping strategy sometimes." rational brain glances at emotion, shakes its head and shoots back "yeahhhh no can do there bud. this one's a real whopper and distractions ain't gonna cut it this time."

both sections of the brain shrug at each other and then The Disorder brain raises its hand smugly and simpers out "hiiii remember me? yeah this is the reason i exist teehee :) give me five minutes and I'll have an amnesia wall erected and another part of the brain shoved into the forefront and then we'll be right as rain! and this emotion can go rot in the locked cabinet of horrors until another part accidentally stumbles upon it again in the future or until the lock breaks. :)"

#girl help I've just been drawing and then BOOM. unbearable feelings drowning me !!!! drownding !!! i am drowndinging !!!#i dont wanna do this anymoreeeee im so tired of this #i go ''wow this sure is intolerable! how have i ever dealt w this!'' and then the DID does its thing some more👍#''gee that sounds so helpful!'' my body is in shambles from the overwhelming amounts of undealt with trauma :]#there are many other downsides but . i ain't getting into all that dhfjdldl #im just . grrrrr. maybe its bc i was drawing another part of the brain but c'mon 😭 i was drawing them HAPPY !! playing!! having fun!!#trying to make smth nice for us !!!! god damn this is so ridiculous #i want to go to bed fjfkdl im so tired and frustrated w everything man im trying so hard and it all seems to go towards nothing #im just not doing well idk also this counselor i have has been so flaky and its making me feel so ... eeurgghh #i understand they dont think im a suicide risk so im low on the priority list but I'd like to just... be a priority for somebody just once #boohoo poor me etc etc. other ppl need the help more than i do i know. im just. tired.#there isnt rly a lot anybody can do anyways to help i guess #still makes me insane thinking abt how the social worker had nothing for me except ''well ... u could go to the homeless shelter''#im just... theres so many fucked up things abt that. sigh. oh well oh well oh well.#just keep making my shitty art and trudging thru the days and finding good things in a day when i can scrape em together !!!!#argh. sigh. I'll go figure out some food to eat tonight.#pippen needs 2nd breakfast #suicide mention #self harm mention

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torvus-bong · 1 year

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i just wanna stop fighting so goddamn hard all the time, ukno? extremely done with the upheaval era lmao

#starting to feel like im just gonna be tired forever #everythin is just so overwhelming all the time.#and yeah im making it harder on myself by trying to move to BC #but god man if i stay here much longer..... ill just rot until i finally do actually kms.#sry to be dramatic but its true.#ive had a handful of attempts just this year.

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magnoliamyrrh · 2 years

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#my stepfather is coming back on monday and im so. so not looking forward to it #thank god i had these few weeks to be alone. i was finally able to somewhat calm down and pull myself together #at least in comparison #but thats abt to be over. and i already feel like digging my own grave than dealing with it #wether its bc its him and im still very on edge after years of bullshit or whether its bc hes a man and not only that but one that i do not #trust. and thus living with him sends my entire psychological state into absolute fucking mayham and i find it impossible to clam down or #truly let my guard down even at 3 am alone in my bedroom with the door locked #god fucking damn it and americans make their homes out of twigs so the damn house are paper thing. im the quiet sort anyway. he is not.#gOD and the unnecessary fucking sex jokes and the jokes abt prostitution or about women which he always for some god forsaken reason #makes out of the fucking blue and everything time i makes me want to crawl out of my skin. its making me want to crawl out of my skin now #ohh lord. its going to be months of this. its already making me wanna cry lol #im already so fucking tired and dealing with so much shit and overwhelmed when im on my own #a literally prepetual state of feeling like prey and scared or disgusted even at every waking moment even at night will drive me fucking #insane again #fuck. maybe i should start taking my other antidepressants again too. the cptsd ones. and maybe i should take a double dose again.#just drug myself into a state of detachment and lack of feeling

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poems-of-a-lover · 1 year

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i feel bad having to watch something to turn my brain off especially at a friend's place but i have my laptop and headphones and im incredibly tired so whatever

#am i autistic. am i.#idk im so tired man #i wanna just get comfortable and sleep for the rest of my life im so exhausted #ughhhhhhh wanna just. im frustrated. im upset and im angry and its only bc im tired but still im upset #i need to go to bed before i lose my mind #im just. argh. im only frustrated and overwhelmed bc im tired so time for bed #vent

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the-kipsabian · 1 year

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im not fine thanks for asking

#i have. extremely mixed feelings. i dont want this. i just dont #im glad they are trying to make the 'international' mean something but. man i dont know #okay listen i have a complex relationship with aussie open rn so thats probably why but also like #i guess my tired brain feels that this is it. and i dont want it to end #im overwhelmed and uncomfortable i. i dont know #sorry its like 4.30am its pouring out now this was too much for my already overdriven brain #wrestling musing

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bare1ythere · 2 years

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#a B in a bio class isnt the end of the world. a B in a bio class isnt the end of the world. a B in a bio class isnt the end of the world #I have such a complex about doing bad in academics but especially in bio because like. thats supposed to be the one thing im good at #but this class keeps throwing me curve balls and im not doing Bad but not good enough to the point that I feel sick to my stomach #at the thought of studying for the exam #and i dont have enough time i dont have enough time to study for my chem final which is in THREE DAYS.#With everything else also happening #I just feel so overwhelmed. I feel like i felt so much more confident in previous finals seasons #i dont know man academics were so much easier for me in high school #i dont even know if i wanna be a doctor anymore. i dont know if the dread I feel at the thought is because im just lazy and uncompetitive #or that its a sign that im going in the wrong direction #and the only thing im confident in anymore is my love for fandom stuff #but even then i dont feel good about my art half the time #im just tired of being stressed I guess. why do i have to kill myself for 8 months a year only to come out of it for like a week or two #to catch my breath. i feel like im going insane #this cant be right. this cant be right #shut up me #i did way too much this term and it almost killed me. but i feel so weak and lazy for not being able to do it all #Im already taking fewer classes next term and an extra year to graduate. I dont know why i cant handle the pressure the way my siblings can #ugh. whatever #i ha. i dont have time for this #vent

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arcaneyouth · 1 year

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oh god ive returned to "i dont have time to take breaks i need to be working constantly" even tho i have specifically designed my schedule to allow myself to take breaks

#vent post #negative #my everything is on fire #i feel like a little pussy bitch for having to take breaks #cause i know everything i need to do isnt that hard #but it IS that hard and i dont know why its getting to be this hard #it didnt used to be...?#why am i so slow again. hello #why is everything hard again #my schedule is not overwhelming but it is but its not but it really is #i have to rearrange my entire schedule to figure out all the new responsibilities im about to have and thats awful and is going to hurt me #but also none of this should be fucking hard #im on medication. do i need a better dose? did something change?#things to talk with my therapist about but my appointments not for a week and i dont have time to add one this week #i am not going to survive the adult world if i am acting like this man. what the fuck am i supposed to do tho #everything really does feel like it fell apart all at once and i should know how to fix it but its weird and wrong #......ive been sleeping more and being more tired lately too???#maybe my ass needs to stay up til 3-4 am. for my mental health #i dont know. i feel lost and i have a map but im still ?????

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gazeboarcade · 3 months

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:^[

#i started my new job on monday #and its rlly rlly hard #all i can think the last couple days is im not cut out for it #and that i made a mistake by agreeing to it and possibly to my degree as a whole #i haven't been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes the whole shift #which i am not dumb shouldnt be so hard but im also fat rn so that does make my feet hurt so bad its lowkey all i can feel physically #and i get asked like . 100+ questions a day (i do not even think that's exaggerating)#and its a LOT to learn all this new stuff about all these new clients and like . they have rlly high needs so its important that like #if no one else understands at least i do bc im like. their point person #and im qualified to do the job. if not more so than all my coworkers : /#but i have left each day barely even understanding everything that happened that day. It FLIES by because there is not a dull moment #and when there is so far its been actually a Problem i need to address making it dull that i am not immediately aware of #im sure itll even out in the coming days but like : ((((((( this is VERY hard for me and i feel like i cant convey that well #bc logically i should be good at it so i must just be being dramatic or smthn idk #and i feel like i cant talk to my friends lately bc idk that feels rlly hard #but its not like i rlly have the time to its just rlly sad #im up too late but im not even tired enough to sleep im just really sad and overwhelmed and i wish i could just like . explode briefly #just till its over or normal #fucking. wretched man idk like its jjust a lot : ((((((#i wish i could communicate that effectively so the bigness of it would come across #delete later

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ce0-0f-sex · 10 months

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#man. im so fucking tired #every day im just. consumed by anger. lashing out at the people i love #isolating myself away from the people i call close #overwhelmed with work.#at this point i just hear nonstop criticism and hate from my own brain and i never thought i'd say it but christ. the suicidal thoughts are #they're. back #i havent had em since 2020. maybe 2021. i dont know anymore #time is stupid.#life is stupid.#everything is stupid #and every day i feel like its only getting worse.#do things ever actually get better.#tw vent #tw sui vent

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avo-kat · 11 months

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i know this sounds silly, but, having dirty glasses can count as a "sensory issue".

most people are fine when theres like one thing that bothers them. their sweater a bit itchy. their shoes are bit tight. their hair tickling their neck.

but im having like multiple of these things, and THEN i got dirty glasses on top?

i may sit there for half an hour getting increasingly fucking bothered by my glasses, unable to do anything about it, until i reach critical mass, squirm in frustration and finally snap and clean them.

which makes me seem like a fucking stupid weirdo!! especially when im all annoyed when somebody dares to talk to me and bother me on top of the 12 things going on. im sorry i snapped at you but im very overwhelmed! yes its annoying i had to fidget a billion times while watching a movie and clean my glasses 50 times and scratch 20 different places on my body and adjust my clothes a billion fucking times, but i dont fucking like it either okay!!! im more bothered by it than you are, i promise!!!!!

#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #losing my mind losing my mind losing my mind #sorry just overwhelmed this fine morning #lack of sleep will make everything just worse #sometimes when i get high i get like super aware of my body so i end up having sensory issues powered up and its so annoying #i still get high but man that shit can be fkn annoying #sensory issues #and adhd whatever man im sick and tired of this shit

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grimmthorne · 1 year

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get in the clown car since you wanna make a fool of yourself ig, i just dont care at this point

#oooooghh im tired of constantly being in some shit with people #atp im tempted to become total recluse. nobody bothers me unless i subject myself to their shit by my own choice #i dont want to know so much about people who say shit to me or about me or anything ever #i have never once had so much drama in a group. and i was emotionally manipulated by someone in middle school/junior high #she literally told me to my face some wack shit and still. i have never had more drama and involvement in said drama #im tired of this shit man #i just wanna hang out with my bf mostly #sometimes a couple people but its just getting annoying and overwhelming being around ppl all the time

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nandermoenthusiast · 1 year

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life is kicking my ass this year

#text pots #like theres so much growth happening all at once but my anxiety levels are constantly at un unbereable level #i also sleep very little at night and am always exhausted #and i hate that there is so much i cant do right now #i just want this period of my life to be over so i can like. chill and blog and journal and do all the things i usually do #i havent posted anything on here in 2 weeks and i hate it #i havent journaled in months and i hate it #idk man im just always always reeling from all the things i have to do in my free time #first of all emptying my grandmas house to go live there and you gotta decide between paints and find a place for all the forniture you #dont want or her billion paintings on the walls and then buy a sofa and a bed and maybe some shelves for your books but its all so #overwhelming and you dont like. you dont even really know where to begin #because emptying it is the most important thing but your dad gets choked up every time you try to do anything substantial #and i just feel so tired so so so so tired #in the meantime like i have had a dream of resuming driving for like 5 years and i finally started again ive been driving for 4 months #but god its so challenging #and its really hard for me sometimes to see pedestrians in some of the most downtown crossings like sometimes i feel they are just showing #up out of nowhere ! and it makes me so paranoid #ive had to brake suddenly a few times and it almost gave me a heart attack #im so afraid to hurt someone even though i drive real slow near crossings like im barely moving #so I wouldnt really hurt anyone but. yk im just anxious about accidentally bumping some pedestrian #and the lack of sleep is not helping me #and god i just wanna be done with all of it #mostly the house #please please please i need to be done i am stressing myself so much #im sorry to barge in after two weeks where the most i could do was like posts i see on my dash and leave them in my likes to be rbd later #when ill feel better #and even then like. even when i have some shred of free time #im so tired i just wanna stare at the ceiling #or obsess over which lamp or credenza to buy or which shade to get a piece of furniture #i hate myself ♥️ also this probably wasnt the best time to start going to the gym but im doin that too ✌️

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