#im trying to be positive about this because im gonna have to spend on a new laptop but whatever. im gonna try and get one in a cool colour

[sgt-celestial]

YAYYYY moved back onto my 2012 laptop and honestly idk why i ever left it for my brother's laptop. this laptop only functions if its plugged in bc the battery lasts 10 minutes max on its own but otherwise its so fastttt and it has a cd player and the keyboard is SO clicky and its got all my old stickers on it. yeah i lost all my custom brushes which were saved on my other laptop but oh well. c'est la vie

[sturniolohouse]

Do Not Wait - M.S

a/n: this got heavier than i planned initially but i just leaned into wherever the story took me. it's also very reader focused, which i realized way too late. but, do not fret, matt is still in it :) lmk if you'd like me to continue this as a series... i hope yall like it, im proud of it.

summary: while matt is away, reader learns and struggles with some unexpected news that will change both their lives forever.

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, vomit, blood, death, grief, panic attacks, cursing. (no use of y/n)

word count: 11.7k

song: do not wait - wallows

"And it gets worse before it gets better That's one thing that I have come to know Just so you know"

“I hate to leave you like this,” Matt sighs, pushing my hair out of my face as his dark silhouette sits beside me on the bed.

I lay curled up in a ball after spending majority of the night sick. I feel terrible because I kept Matt up when he had to be up early for his flight to Chicago today.

Despite my attempts to avoid disturbing him, he spent most of the night beside me, rubbing my back while I hunched over the toilet and bringing me water.

I toss and turn, unable to find a comfortable position as my restlessness and nausea worsen by the second.

Matt’s hand touches my forehead, gently pushing my hair back and mindlessly scratching my head. I sit up as another wave of nausea twists my stomach, and I take a deep breath, hoping to suppress it. Matt sits up behind me, his hand now rubbing my back as I lean over the side of the bed with my head between my knees.

Thankfully, a moment later the wave of sickness passes and I sit up straight with a small groan as my body aches.

“I’m going to sleep on the couch. I don’t want to get you sick, and you have to be up in a few hours,” I croak, but he protests, gently pulling me back into bed.

"I don't give a fuck. I'll sleep on the plane, you're staying right here,"

As the morning light begins to filter through the curtains, Matt’s alarm goes off. By then, we had maybe collectively slept an hour and I knew he must have been exhausted. He got ready quietly trying his best not to disturb me, but I was already awake.

I don’t think sleep is in the cards for me tonight.

He places the back of his hand on my forehead, then my cheek, his touch gentle and searching.

“You still don’t have a fever...I don’t know if that’s good or bad,” He sighs, his fingers sifting through my hair with a tenderness that makes my heart ache.

Even with the faint light of dawn as our only source, I can still make out his concerned expression as he scans my face.

“I've never been this sick before. It must be a bug,” My voice is hoarse from repeatedly throwing up.

“Please, stay here with Nick while I’m gone so you have someone to look after you. I’m gonna text him now so he sees it when he wakes up. God, I don’t even want to go anymore,” He wipes his hand down his face in stress and I shake my head.

“No, stop, don’t worry about me. I’m gonna be fine. I’ll stay here with Nick. Please don’t be late for your flight,” I insist, gripping his hand weakly. “I’m going to make some tea and try to get some rest.” I go to get up but he puts his hand on my shoulder.

“I’ll make you tea, while we wait for the Uber. What do you want, mint?” He asks softly, his hand rubbing up and down my hip.

I nod weakly, thanking him.

I doze off a bit while he goes to make my tea, the repercussion of not sleeping catching up to me. When I open my eyes again, he’s setting my steaming mug on the bedside shelf carefully and placing two advils next to it.

“Text me when you wake up? And let me know if you have to go to urgent care, I’ll send you an Uber.” He tells me softly, his voice trembling with an emotion he’s trying to hide.

His reluctance to leave is evident in every line of his face.

I nod tiredly, “Mm, text me when you and Chris land. Have fun in Chicago. I love you.”

“I love you,” He kisses my forehead, before grabbing his suitcase by his bedroom door and leaving.

I was able to sleep a couple of more hours before I woke up again, dry heaving into the toilet because I quite literally had nothing left in my stomach.

I showered, brushed my teeth and went into the kitchen, searching for something bland to settle my stomach. I had decided to grab a rice cake and made more mint tea before I sprawled out on the couch in one of Matt’s hoodies.

It’s not the first time he’s been away, but this time, I miss him more than I anticipated. Even the scent of his hoodie brings a wave of emotion that catches me off guard.

We’ve never been one of those couples that spends every second of every day together anyway. Not even when we first started dating. We’ve always given each other the space we need.

But I must admit I could go for one of his hugs right now.

It’s around 10 AM when Nick comes down stairs and his face tells me everything I need to know about my appearance.

“I know, I look like shit.” I deadpan and he covers his mouth with wide eyes.

“I got Matt’s texts...I thought that motherfucker was being dramatic. Are you feeling any better?” He asks with a hand on his chest.

“Well, I haven’t thrown up in three hours, so that’s a new record. Your poor brother, I kept him up all night,”

“He'll live, do you want to go to urgent care?”

“No, I’ll wait it out. It’s gotta pass and I was able to keep my breakfast down.” I wave a hand.

Nick goes to make his own breakfast, slicing an apple before coming over to sit on the couch with me.

“Apple?” He offers me, munching on his own bite.

I decline shaking my head with a frown.

Nick wanted to watch Love Island, so I let him change the TV, feeling my eyelids grow heavy. As the sounds of the show filled the room, I found myself dozing off, giving in to the rest my body needs.

When I wake up, I have a blanket over me and Nick is editing on his laptop.

He notices me move and takes his headphones off one ear.

“Hey, you feeling better? Matt keeps pestering me for updates,” He shows me his phone with messages from a worried Matt.

I sigh, “Jesus...I’ll call him. But yes, I feel better now that I've gotten some sleep.” I get up and stretch my body, wincing at my achy muscles.

“How long was I out?” I ask grabbing my phone to see my own set of messages from Matt.

Kid worries too much.

“About 3 hours, you were knocked out. I’m gonna order food, are you hungry for anything?” He asks and my stomach rumbles at the thought of one food.

“I could fuck up some tacos right now,” I raise an eyebrow at him at my suggestion.

“I like the way you’re thinking.” He snaps his fingers pointing at me in agreement.

“Birria tacos for me and a Diet Coke. I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go call your brother before he has a heart attack.” I say walking to Matt’s room and calling him.

He picks up on the first ring.

“Hey,” He breaths out, his voice soft.

“What did I tell you about worrying about me?” I tease him and he laughs, sounding relieved.

"Hi!" I heard Chris shout in the background, before I heard a door close and Matt sigh. I'm guessing he went into a separate room.

“If you saw the state you were in before I left this morning, you’d be worried too. I take it you’re feeling better? Heard you napped,” He speaks up again, talking at a normal volume now.

“I was physically feeling the state I was in. But, yeah, a little better after my nap. How was your flight?” I ask, playing with the trinkets on his shelves.

“Besides me worrying the entire flight about you dehydrating and dying? Fine. A little turbulence, but nothing crazy.”

“Okay, drama, relax. I’m staying hydrated, I’ve napped, Nick and I are about to order some tacos. It must have just been a bug. I must admit, you're very cute when you worry about me though.” I smile and he hums shly.

A beat of silence goes by and I look at the photobooth picture of Matt and I on his wall.

“I miss you,” I admit to him, leaning down to inhale the collar of his sweatshirt on me.

“I miss you too. You know I haven't even been gone 12 hours though,” He reminds me, sounding amused at my unexpected sappyness.

I sigh, “I know,”

Suddenly I have a lump of emotion in my throat and he automatically hears the switch of my tone.

“Hey woah, what happened? Why are you upset?” He sounds panicked.

“Oh my god, sorry. I don’t know. I’m not even sad,” I choke back my tears.

“Doesn’t sound like it.." He doesn't sound convinced. "Do I need to come home?" He says next and I'm immediately objecting.

“What! No. Matt, I promise I’m fine.” I tell him quickly, taking off my hoodie as I begin to overheat.

“I love you... I’ll be back before you know it, okay? S'nothing we haven’t done before.” He reminds me softly and my bottom lip wobbles.

“Mhm,” I manage to get out and he sighs again.

“Sweetheart... You’re telling me not to be worried, but I’m beyond worried. Can you please tell me what’s wrong?” He pleads and I shake my head even though he can't see me.

“I honestly couldn’t tell you...I-i think I just needed to cry, and missing you isn’t helping because I wish I could hug you but you’re so f-far,” I hiccup.

“Okay, deep breaths, how about you take a nice hot shower–maybe a bath. Use Nick’s bath and when you’re done, you can eat your tacos and you’ll feel better. Okay? Listen, Chris and I are about to leave for dinner, are you going to be alright?” He checks in, sounding hesitant to hang up.

“Yes, I’m fine. Seriously. I’m sorry. I must be starting my period soon.” I compose myself, trying to ignore the sudden ache in my heart.

“It’s okay,” he says softly, his voice gentle and sweet.

Any other time, he’d be teasing me for being a crybaby—lovingly, of course—but I think he senses that my emotions are genuinely beyond my control right now.

“I love you,” he says again with emphasis, wanting to hear me say it back.

“I love you, so much," I say weakly, "Have fun at dinner and tell Chris I said hi.” I tell him, wiping my eyes.

“Will do. I’ll call you when we get back.” He says goodbye, hanging up.

I take a deep breath and I shake my head, feeling frustrated with my poorly-timed emotions. I feel terrible for worrying him more, I wanted this trip for him to be fun. Chris had really been looking forward to going with Matt—it had become a sort of tradition for the two of them. I need to get my emotions under control.

I wince again as I feel the heaviness and soreness in my breasts. Sighing, I go to my phone and check my period app to see when this torture will be over.

My stomach drops when I open the app and see I'm 13 days late.

My head feels dizzy suddenly and I pinch my eyes closed as the pit in my stomach spurs on more nausea. I lay back and put my arm over my eyes and take deep breaths.

My mind races, but I can’t seem to focus on one thought.

No, I can’t be.

I’m just stressed, that’s all.

I have an IUD, it's not possible.

But everything's adding up; the nausea, heightened emotions, late period...

I sit up slowly, feeling the weight of the realization settle on me. My heart pounds in my chest and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the flood of emotions threatening to drown me. But there’s no escaping this.

With trembling hands, I go to call Matt back, my thumb hovers over the call button but I stop myself. He’s going to dinner right now, on the opposite side of the country.

I can't burden him with this, not when I don’t even know for sure.

Dropping my phone onto the bed beside me, I try to self soothe, taking deep breaths to steady myself, but the anxiety is relentless.

I walk out of the room and Nick is asking me what kind of salsa I want with my tacos before he looks up at me. He immediately furrows his brows in worry.

“Hey–what's going on, are you okay?” He sits up and places his laptop on the coffee table.

“I-I can't breath,” I gasp, reaching out for him, feeling like a little kid.

He instantly stands up, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

“What’s happened? Deep breaths, big deep breaths. There you go,” He rubs my back and I breath deeply with him.

My cheek smushed into his chest as I listen to the beating of his heart to help ground me. I pull away, still trembling and shake my head, unsure if I should even be telling Nick this.

This should be Matt.

Nick's eyes search mine, sensing my hesitancy. “You don’t have to talk if you’re not ready,” he says softly, his hands rubbing my shoulders.

I bite my lip, feeling a mix of guilt and desperation.

I don’t want to drag Nick into something so personal, but this is too overwhelming to keep bottled up.

“I… I think I might be pregnant,” I finally whisper, the words barely escaping my lips.

Saying it out loud makes it feel all the more real, and the weight of it presses down on me like a ton of bricks.

Nick’s expression shifts from worry to shock, his mouth falling agape and silence ringing between us. Once he hears me whimper, he snaps out of it and brings me back into a bone crushing hug.

"Shh, okay–it's okay, um…” His voice wavers, and I can feel his heart racing against my cheek.

For a moment, it seems like he’s trying to find the right words, but all that comes out is a nervous laugh.

“This is… wow, this is big. I'm sorry– I don't know what else to say right now,” His voice high pitched and shaky.

I can’t help but let out a shaky laugh with him, even through my anxiety.

“Yeah, big,” I agree, my voice barely above a whisper.

Nick pulls back just enough to look at me, his uncertainty showing in the way his eyes dart around, trying to process everything at once.

“I mean, I’m no expert on this—obviously—but we'll figure this out. You're gonna be okay, everything's gonna be okay.”

His reassurance is genuine, but I can see he's trying to convince himself too; a flicker of doubt in his eyes.

This is uncharted territory for both of us.

Nick and I had decided to order the tests along with the food, killing two birds with one stone. He’s doing his best to stay calm for my sake, but the trembling of his hands as he places the order is hard to miss.

"Okay, tacos and tests are on the way. I got, well, all of them because I don't know which one is best. I even got ice cream. Fuck, when did it get so hot in here? I'm overheating–are you overheating?" He says, his words moving a mile a minute as he fans himself with his shirt.

I can't help but to laugh as his nerves show and he shakes his head.

"I'm sorry, I know you're the one potentially knocked up by my idiot brother but I'm just so nervous. I'm sweating like a monster," His voice cracks.

"Do you mind if I use your bath?" I ask and he nods right away.

“Are you kidding? Of course, go ahead. Someone has to use it. I’m gonna…Well, I’ll just wait out here and try to chill.” He gives me a quick, reassuring smile, though it’s clear he’s still on edge.

I head to his bathroom and try to forget about my racing thoughts.

I turn the faucet on and put in some bath salts, checking the temperature before I step over to the vanity mirror. I take a look at my appearance and notice the puffiness in my face right away. My cheeks are flushed and my eyes are bloodshot.

I blow out a raspberry as I undress and get into the hot water.

The heat soothes my aching muscles and clears my mind. I soaked for a while, even draining a bit of the water and refilling the tub with more hot water. Once I feel myself pruning, I decide it's time I get out.

As I dry myself off, I notice light blood on the towel. My heart races, and I quickly check again—I'm bleeding. Very lightly, but there’s blood.

Relief floods through me, and I almost cry again, this time from the emotional whiplash. My legs feel shaky, so I sit down on the edge of the tub to steady myself, my breath coming out in shaky bursts.

Clutching the towel to my chest, I close my eyes and let out a long, relieved sigh.

“Thank God,” I whisper, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes.

I try not to dwell on the small part of me that almost wanted to feel disappointed. Maybe even mourning the part of me that might have embraced being pregnant–excited, even.

Instead, I focus on center of my emotions, the part where a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Eventually, I pull myself together, cleaning myself up and getting dressed.

When I step out of the bathroom, Nick is on his bed, clearly trying to keep himself distracted. My eyes go to the food and the tests at the foot of the bed.

As soon as he sees me, he shoots up, his expression immediately shifting to one of concern.

“You okay?” he asks, his voice soft. I nod, a small smile breaking through the lingering anxiety.

“I’m okay,” I say, my voice a little shaky. “I uh…I got my period, I think,”

Nick’s face lights up with relief, his shoulders visibly relaxing. “Oh, thank God,” he shouts, “This is great fucking news—right?” He checks in and I nod.

“Yeah,” I agree, feeling a little dazed by how quickly everything has turned around. “I think we’re in the clear. We won't be needing those tests, I'll pay you back for them,"

Nick ignores me, pulling me into a bear hug, his arms so tight around me, I can barely breath.

“Shut up I don't care,” he says, “You don't have a parasite in you!" He cheers, jumping us up and down.

We both let out laughs, the tension that had been looming over us now replaced with a lightness.

“Let’s eat,” I suggest, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

Nick nods, "Couldn't agree more,"

We sit on his bed and for the first time all day, I feel like I can actually breathe.

As we dig into the tacos, Nick puts Love Island back on and we rot in bed for a few hours.

But even as we talk and laugh, there's still a pit in my stomach. A small portion of me can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t over yet.

Yeah, there's was blood. But it was different than my normal period. It was lighter.

I try not to panic, but I can't help but feel like my intuition is trying to tell me something. For now, I push my thoughts aside, focusing on Nick beside me yelling at the annoying horny people on his TV.

Nick offered for me to sleep in his room but I declined, wanting to sleep in Matt's bed.

Matt never called me, but he texted me apologizing and checking in on me. I listened to a voice memo he sent me of all they did today and I was genuinely glad he was having fun, so I didn't mind him not calling.

Plus, I'm not entirely sure I'm in the right state of mind to have a conversation with him right now. I wouldn't be able to keep today's events to myself.

I know I can’t keep him in the dark—I need to tell him what’s going on.

I glance at the stack of tests on his dresser and sigh. The bleeding from earlier has stopped, leaving me with a pit in my stomach.

I know I’ll have to take those tests, even if only for clarity. But for now, I’m going to force myself to sleep.

I find myself in a place that feels both familiar and strange. It's warm, the sun showering the garden and I immediately know I'm in my grandmother's backyard.

The breeze picks up, carrying the scent of blooming flowers—lilies, hyacinths, peonies, and marigolds—enveloping me in a peacefulness that feels like a comforting blanket.

I walk along the familiar stone path, my fingers grazing the soft petals of the flowers. Each step feeling like a compelling, magnetic pull, guiding me deeper into the garden.

I see her then–my grandmother, seated on a wooden bench beneath the shade of the large oak tree I used to climb as a child.

My breath hitches, she doesn't look sick. Her smile is lively, her cheeks rosy and the green in her eyes vibrant.

But there’s something else different, a kind of ethereal glow about her that sends a chill down my spine.

“Come here, my girl,” she says, her voice soft and inviting.

I walk over to her, feeling a strange mix of emotions: comfort, longing, and an inexplicable sadness.

I sit down beside her and she takes my hand in hers, her touch warm and reassuring.

“I’ve missed you,” I say, my voice thick with emotion, unable to fathom her not sick in a hospital bed.

She smiles, her eyes full of love. “I haven't gone anywhere."

There’s a pause as I try to process her words, but then she looks at me knowingly, another shiver down my spine.

"You're glowing," She hums, tucking my hair behind my ear.

I look at her confused until she places a hand to my stomach. My breath hitches and I can't control the tear that rolls down my cheek.

I shake my head in disbelief, "How...d-do you know?" I whisper, my voice getting lost in the intoxicating breeze.

It's then that I feel a deep flutter in my stomach, one that I can't describe.

I place my hand over my grandmother's that still rests on my stomach. The flutter intensifies, my heart mimicking the pattern as warmth blooms in my chest. The feeling is overwhelming.

An unexpected, joyous sob escapes my lips before I can stop it, tears blurring my vision.

“You're both going to be okay,” My grandmother says softly, gently wiping away my tears.

My lip wobbles and I let out a shaky breath before she speaks up again.

“She’s strong too, just like you.”

“She..?” I squeak. My grandmother’s smile returns, softer this time and she nods.

A wave of shock and confusion washes over me, but before I can ask more, the garden begins to fade. The colors bleeding into each other until everything is a swirl of light.

Her voice echoes as the dream dissolves, “Don't be afraid, Petal.”

I shoot up, my heart racing, my face soaked in tears and my body covered in a cold sweat. I feel disoriented as I take in my surroundings and my mind tries to grasp the remnants of the dream.

My grandmother’s face, her words, the fluttering in my stomach. But now, that fluttering has turned into a twisting feeling in my gut.

Something was wrong.

My phone buzzes, startling me out of my tangled, fuzzy thoughts. My hands tremble slightly as I reach for my phone.

It’s my mom.

“Hello?” I answer, my voice thick with sleep and confusion.

There’s a pause on the other end, and then my mom’s voice comes through, shaky and heavy with emotion.

“Honey...I'm sorry I'm calling you so early, but it’s Grandma....Sh-she passed in her sleep early this morning.”

The words hit me like a punch in the gut, and for a moment, I can’t breathe. She continues to talk but I can't hear her, my ears ring and time slows down.

A flood of emotions overcome me.

Grief, shock, and the strange sense that the dream was more than just a figment of my imagination.

As the reality of her passing sinks in, I’m left with the weight of her final words to me. She was telling me something important, something I can’t ignore anymore.

My stomach twists again and I bolt to the bathroom where I throw up until I'm dry heaving into the toilet.

-

I'm not even shocked when the test immediately shows up positive. I stare blankly at the two pink lines, the only hint of emotion is the tremor in my hand as I grab the test and chuck it into the trash can.

I feel numb.

Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I see the emptiness in my eyes, the darkness encasing them. The person staring back is a stranger.

I'm pregnant.

I should be feeling joy, maybe even excitement—I want to at least, but all I feel is nothing. My experience overshadowed by my grief. By the anomaly of this situation, how this could have happened.

I have an IUD, I was bleeding, but here we are.

I wanted Matt to be the first to know, to share in that moment with him, but now everything feels wrong, out of order.

I feel robbed of the happiness I should be feeling.

I step into the shower and let the scalding hot water claw at my skin. I finally let myself break down, grief rattling through me and slicing me open.

My dream replays in my mind over and over again. My grandmother's eyes, her warmth, her words, her hand on my stomach.

“You’re both going to be okay,”

My hand instinctively goes to my stomach. I press my palm into my abdomen, expecting to feel that flutter, desperate to feel any sort of connection with the life that's there–to cling to the intense joy from my dream...but there's nothing.

It was ripped away from me from the moment I woke up.

“She’s strong too, just like you,”

I whimper, the sound dissolving into the rush of the water.

I don’t feel strong. I feel weak.

My grandmother told me not to be afraid, but I can’t escape this overwhelming anxiety, the suffocating uncertainty that engulfs me.

The tightness in my chest, the heaviness in my heart, the deep-seated guilt that festers within me.

I cry and cry and cry until I can’t anymore, until the tears run dry, leaving only the ache in my chest.

When the water turns cold and the sun fully rises, is when I finally get out. My feet drag beneath me as I walk back into Matt's room and get dressed.

I pull on one of Matt's crewnecks and some sweats before I go into the kitchen to make a tea.

I make myself an Earl Grey, my grandmother's favorite.

I sit down at the dining table and book the first flight back home to Maine, which is tomorrow morning. My mom and I spoke again and she told me the funeral isn't until next week, but I wanted to be there for her. I couldn’t stay here right now.

My stomach growls loudly and I press my palms into my eye sockets. I suppose I should really eat something with substance, especially now.

I grab the berries from the fridge that are in their last leg, washing them before forcing myself to eat. The tartness of the blueberries sparks a memory of helping my grandmother make blueberry pancakes on Sunday mornings. I smile sadly at the fond memory of being her little sous chef.

When 7 AM rolls around, restlessness overtakes me and I step outside, sitting in the front stoop before calling Matt.

"You're up early," His voice thick with sleep as he greets me through the line.

"Hey," I say weakly, letting out a sigh as I gaze up at the clear sky. There's not a single cloud in sight.

"What's wrong?" His tone immediately shifts to concern.

"Matt... my grandma passed this morning," I start, my voice trembling slightly.

I omit the dream and the positive pregnancy test in his bathroom, grateful that he can't see my face.

There's a heavy sigh on the other end. "I'm so sorry. I know she was sick for a while... Are you doing okay? How's your mom?"

"I'm... managing. And my mom, she's actually doing okay. I think we're all relieved in a way, you know? It was only a matter of time. I'm just glad she's not suffering anymore," I navigate my feelings about her passing, my voice surprisingly steady.

"Of course," His voice is so soft, fueling my longing for his touch.

"Do you think…there's any way you can change your flight on Tuesday to go to Maine? The funeral isn’t until next Thursday, but I’m getting there tomorrow afternoon." I ask, playing with a loose string on my sweatpants.

"Of course, I'll look at flights right now," he responds without hesitation.

"Thank you, I just....I need you there," I tell him, feeling a tightness in my chest when I avoid mentioning the conversation we need to have.

"I'll be there. I found a flight that will get me there tomorrow night."

"Matt–" I start to protest.

"I already changed it. No refunds," He cuts me off, his voice firm. "Sweetheart, you need me, I'm not going to make you wait until fucking Tuesday."

"What about the rest of your trip? You'll miss the rest of the festival, and Chris–" I try and reason with him.

"Listen to me carefully...I don't give a fuck about the festival. You need me there, and I'm going to be there. Chris will be fine, he's a big boy. He has Sam here with him and they'll fly back to LA together," His tone leaving no room for argument, his mind was made up.

A small, grateful smile tugs at my lips as tears well up in my eyes.

"I love you," I manage to say, my voice trembles with emotion.

"I love you, so much it hurts. I wish I could hug you right now but I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I’m gonna go talk to Chris, text me or call me if you need me. I mean it, kid."

“I will,” I promise, ending the call and looking up at the sky again, wrapping my arms around myself as the cool morning air brushes against my skin.

I take a deep breath, the air filling my lungs grounding me. As I exhale, I try to focus on the one thing I know for sure—I may not feel strong, but I need to be and not just for myself, but for the life growing inside of me.

My grandmother's words echo in my mind.

"Don't be afraid, Petal."

–

Nick wakes up shortly after, only taking one look at me before I’m breaking down again—the weight of everything crashing down on me like another tidal wave.

I tell him everything, my dream, my grandmother's passing, I show him the positive pregnancy test.

I cry into his chest, feeling overwhelmed.

"I'm just s-so confused," I manage to say between sobs. "In my dream, I was so happy... everything felt right. I felt connected with..." My words trail off, dissolving into incoherent blubbering.

Nick just listens, rubbing my back in slow, soothing circles.

"Listen," he begins softly, "your body is under a lot of stress right now. You just found out about your grandma, and then this very unexpected news on top of it… Every single emotion you’re feeling is normal, and 100 percent valid. But you have so many people by your side who love you and will help you through this, no matter what you decide..."

I sniffle, trying to regulate my breathing as I take in his words.

"I'm angry, too," I admit, my voice cracking with the strain of holding it all in. "This is so unfair. The timing of this couldn't be worse... I can't even talk to Matt and I feel awful keeping this from him. He shouldn't have to find out like this."

"Everything is going to be okay, deep breaths," Nick repeats, his voice calm as he helps me process the flood of emotions.

I blow out a raspberry, pulling back and running my hands down my face in frustration. When I look at him, he's watching me cautiously, trying to read my expression.

"I'm pregnant," I say softly, the words finally leaving my lips for the first time.

A mix of emotions swirls in my chest and stomach—fear, uncertainty, a strange kind of acceptance.

Nick nods slowly, his eyes still scanning my face, and for a moment, I find myself imagining if this was me telling Matt.

More dread fills me.

How will he react? Will he be the support I need?

We’ve talked about having kids before. They were always in the cards for us, but never this soon.

We only just started to discuss getting our own place and now our lives are going to be changing forever.

Nick helped me pack as I tried to arrange a last-minute appointment to confirm my pregnancy, which proved to be quite the ordeal.

The receptionists initially inform me that they didn't have any openings for weeks. However, when I mention the IUD and a positive pregnancy test, the urgency in their voice shifted dramatically.

They told me to come in right away.

The urgency in the receptionists voice on the phone didn’t help my nerves. Neither when they took me straight into an examination room the minute I told them my name.

They take my vitals, draw my blood and give me a cup to pee in.

I left Nick in the waiting room, dressing down into the gown they placed neatly on the exam chair. I look around at the diagrams of the fetuses and the posters of the development. I’ve seen these countless times and never thought twice, but this time I feel unsettled.

I swallow thickly and sit on the loud crinkly paper with the anticipation of the doctor coming in soon.

There’s a soft double knock on the door before a head of wild, curly hair peeks in.

“Hello, hello. I’m Dr. Sullivan,” She says washing her hands and sitting down on the swivel stool next to the examination chair.

The woman has a mane of big, unruly curls that frame her face, with chunky black square-framed glasses perched on her slightly humped nose, drawing attention to her bright hazel eyes. A wide smile, complete with a distinctive gap between her two front teeth, radiates warmth and adds to her quirky charm. She almost seems like a character out of a cartoon—lanky, with an energetic, bouncy stride that matches her bubbly personality. She can't be much older than my mother.

"So, you are in fact pregnant. The lab results confirmed the presence of HCG, which is the hormone produced during pregnancy. "

“Do you have any idea how this happened? I mean, obviously I know how it happened but, I have an IUD.” I say, still trying to wrap my head around the situation.

She nods dramatically, her lips pressing into a line as she listens to my concerns.

“Unfortunately, no birth control is 100 percent effective. In most cases, the IUD might have been displaced, or in some instances, the body rejects the device without you knowing. I actually would like to get clarity on that with an ultrasound, but I think it’s important for you to know the risks of this scenario here.” She says, turning slightly more serious.

“Risks?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes,” she says softly, “There is a possibility that, due to you having an IUD, this pregnancy may not be viable. Having an IUD increases the risk of what we call an ectopic pregnancy... are you familiar with that term?” Her hazel eyes lock onto mine and I shake my head, my heart starting to pound.

“Well, because you have a contraceptive device in the space where a fetus would normally develop, there's a risk that the pregnancy could occur outside the uterus. Typically the egg will implant itself in the fallopian tubes, which cannot host a safe or viable pregnancy...And if not treated immediately, the tube can rupture and cause internal hemorrhaging," She explains gently, carefully choosing her words to convey the seriousness of the situation.

I feel my heartbeat in my ears now as I process her words.

"So you're saying, this can be life threatening...for me and the..." My throat closes up and I can't finish my sentence.

She must take notice of the panic in my face, her round eyes widening slightly.

"If it goes untreated, yes. But I don't say this to make you panic, you're in good hands and whatever happens, we will take the next steps together." She places a hand on my knee, giving the tissue box so I can dry my uncontrollable tears.

"Based on your last period, you should be about seven weeks along. This ultrasound will confirm that and also ensure the pregnancy is positioned in the uterus. Before we proceed, I'd like to ask you a few questions... do you need a minute?" she asks gently, noticing my unease.

I hiccup and shake my head. "N-no, I'll be okay. Sorry," I mumble, wiping my nose.

"Don't apologize," she says kindly, giving me a moment to collect myself anyway, which I appreciate.

For a moment, I consider calling Nick in, but I decide against it. Even though we're close, this may be a little too personal, even for him and I.

"Have you been experiencing any cramping or discomfort in your back or abdomen?" She asks and typing my answer into the computer as I tell her no.

"Any spotting or bleeding?"

"I had some light bleeding last night, it only lasted maybe an hour... I had thought it was my period, but I knew something was off." I explain to her and she nods.

"That was most likely implantation bleeding, which is normal. It can be light spotting of blood, or some women experience heavy bleeding, similar to a period." She continues to take her notes before looking to me again, "Any tenderness in your breasts?"

"Oh, for sure. My breasts have been very sore the past few days,"

"Any nausea or vomiting?"

"Yes, the last couple of days–especially at night, I've been vomiting. I haven't really been sleeping well because of it."

"Yeah, the term 'morning sickness' is misleading... It can happen any time of day, you seem to be experiencing yours during the evening. Any other symptoms you've noticed that you'd like to note?" She asks and I try to think of some things.

"Uhh, I guess I've been more tired than usual, but I chalked that up to being up all night sick...I've also been getting hot flashes recently and I've definitely been more emotional,"

"These are all good to note, thank you very much," She pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose before typing again.

She swivels herself back towards me, smiling warmly.

"We'll go ahead with the ultrasound now. But to get an accurate picture, we're going to do a transvaginal ultrasound, if that's okay with you."

"Okay, that's fine," I say, shakily.

She pulls the ultrasound cart to toward her before standing to move the stirrups into place so I can place my feet into them. She places a privacy cloth over me and I take a deep breath.

She puts a covering on the sheath of the ultrasound wand and places lubricant on the top of it. She taps a few buttons on the computer, calibrating the machine before turning towards me with a reassuring smile.

"So this will feel cold and you might feel a little pressure but if you feel any discomfort don't be afraid to tell me." She informs before placing the device inside to create the image.

I try not to wince and try to relax as much as possible. I go to look toward the screen but she has it faced towards her, so I opt to reading her facial expressions.

Dr. Sullivan adjusts her glasses by putting them on the tip of her nose and tilting her head back to get a better view.

She's quite animated with her expressions, her mouth opening slightly in concentration as she looks over the screen.

Although I can't see what she's looking at, she seems pleased, which is a relief.

"Okay, so good sign so far, I see your IUD," Dr. Sullivan says, leaning forward and pointing to the screen. "I can clearly see that it's sitting at the top of your cervix. It’s shifted down and away from your uterus. Do you happen to experience heavy cramping during your cycle?" she asks, her fingers tapping some buttons on the monitor.

"Yes, I do," I reply, the worry still gnawing at me.

She nods thoughtfully. "That could explain the displacement. Sometimes, intense cramping can cause the IUD to shift from its original position. It’s not common, but it does happen. It’s good that we’ve caught it now."

"I see the embryonic sac in, from what I can tell, a great spot. You're measuring at about 6 or 7 weeks along. Size of a blueberry." She says and I stop breathing.

I don't even hesitate to say yes as she asks if I would like to see.

My eyes are glued to the screen as I follow where her finger points, focusing on the grainy image. There it is—a tiny black oval with an even tinier dot in the middle. It's so small, I almost think I'm looking at the wrong thing.

“That’s... them?” I whisper, my voice barely audible as I try to comprehend the sight in front of me.

Dr. Sullivan nods, her expression tender. "That's your baby. It's early, but everything looks promising..."

"Really?" I squeak, still in disbelief, my throat tightening with sudden emotion as more tears fall down my face.

Relief— as she nods in confirmation, handing me the tissue box again.

Hope— as she zooms in, showing me the flickering of the heartbeat.

Joy—as I hear the heartbeat, feeling it sync with the thumping of my own.

For the first time since my dream, I feel joy, something beyond the crippling dread that had loomed over me all day. My heart swells and then bursts as I continue to stare at the flickering dot on the screen, blinking away the tears that blur my vision.

I breathe in shakily before a laugh escapes through a sob.

"Nice strong heartbeat, everything looks as it should... this looks like a healthy pregnancy," Dr. Sullivan announces, gently removing the ultrasound wand but keeping a looped video on the screen, allowing me a few more moments to take it all in.

"She's strong too, just like you,"

"So, the next step—for your safety—would be to remove the IUD today," she continues, her tone calm yet serious. "We can also discuss your options moving forward, including your decision on whether or not you would like to continue with the pregnancy. It's important to weigh all the possibilities and make the choice that's right for you."

"I-I'm gonna continue the pregnancy. It was in no way planned, but–"

"You don't need to explain...I had a feeling" She dismisses me gently, giving me a knowing smile, "I guess this calls for a congratulations,"

"Thank you," I say just above my breath, warmth still blooming through my chest.

After Dr. Sullivan removes my IUD, she tells me to dress while she steps out to calculate my due date.

I stare at the printed ultrasound picture, my heart swelling with a fierce protectiveness. I’m not worried about the complications or uncertainties ahead right now. All that matters is this life inside me.

I feel much stronger than I did merely hours ago.

My due date was February 7th, the same as my grandmother’s birthday.

–

I had landed in Maine a few hours ago, my mom and I were organizing all of my grandma's belongings. We spent the afternoon together, grabbing lunch before heading over to my grandmother's house.

The house always felt like a time capsule, preserving every memory. The duck wallpaper in the dining room, the scent of pine and clove, the worn couch cushions, her miniature schnauzer figurine collection, and the framed pressed flowers from her children’s weddings—everything was always in its rightful place. It always looked the same.

Memories of me and my siblings spending weekends here whirling behind my eyelids as I inhale the familiar scent.

It evokes a bittersweet feeling.

We keep the mood light, sharing stories with each memory we packed away. I still saw the flicker of sadness in my mom's eyes, even through her laughter as we reminisced.

Sitting on the carpet in the living room, we go through the boxes full of pictures to put together a collage for the funeral. I come across a picture of my mother pregnant with my older brother.

It's a candid photo in the kitchen of my grandmother's house, her hand resting on her swollen belly that pokes out the bottom of her blue shirt, a soft smile on her face. My grandmother is beside her, beaming with pride, tying an apron around her waist.

My mother looked so young, her freckles prominent on her flushed cheeks and her smile crinkling the corners of her eyes.

I was always told I looked more like my dad, but seeing her like this, so close to my own age now, I can't help but notice the resemblance.

My mom notices my pause and looks over my shoulder. "That was just a few weeks before your brother was born," she says softly, her voice laced with nostalgia. "Your grandmother knew we were having a boy from the moment we told her,"

Her words send a chill down my spine.

I linger on the photo, feeling a wave of emotion rise up at the mention of my grandmother as the weight of my own news presses heavier on my chest.

"Were you really sick, when you were pregnant?" I ask, lowly.

She hums in thought, "With your brother? Only for maybe the first few weeks. With you though? Forget about it, I was sick everyday for months."

I stay silent for a moment, studying another photo of my mom and dad in the hospital room with my brother the day he was born. My mom is in the hospital bed, looking tired but radiant, while my dad is crouched next to her, gently cradling my brother in his arms.

"He was so bald," I laugh softly, and my mom chuckles beside me.

"His hair was so blonde, it was practically see-through. Your father called him 'egghead' for the first two months of his life," she says, shaking her head and rolling her eyes with a smile.

I look at the photo again, my gaze lingering on my mom's face. Her expression is filled with such warmth and love as she looks at my dad.

"How did you tell dad? You guys were both pretty young," I ask and she stifles a laugh.

"We actually found out together in a gas station bathroom..." She starts off with a slightly shameful smile, "I had been so sick on our camping trip with your aunt and uncle, so I decided on our way back home to take a test. We were shocked to say the least, but we were happy," She shrugs casually.

I think about how I was alone when I found out I was pregnant. Matt wasn't there, and it wasn't his fault, but the last 36 hours of keeping this from him has been torture.

The moment I saw the second line show up with fresh cold sweat still rolling down my neck, I had to bottle up this relentless guilt.

I feel guilt. It wasn't anyone's fault. This is the most serendipitous situation I've ever been in, but I put the blame on me. I have a choice and I'm choosing the route that will completely flip our already hectic lives upside down.

Tethering us together for life.

Even if this decision it feels right, it still carries an enormous weight. It’s not just my life that’s about to change—it's Matt’s too.

I have no doubt Matt will be supportive, but when you're left alone with your thoughts long enough, you can convince yourself of anything.

I've spent every waking minute wondering how he'll react, imagining every possible scenario, from the worst to the best. It's been an endless loop of 'what ifs,' and it’s taken everything in me not to just blurt it out over the phone.

"Were you scared at all? I mean, weren't you like 20?" I press, searching for reassurance in her response.

Her eyes widen before nodding, "Oh, we were scared shitless. Your father almost passed out. We had no idea what we were doing, but hey, we survived. For better or for worse,"

I nod, looking down at my lap and fidgeting with my fingers. My chest feels tight, and the weight of everything becomes almost unbearable.

"Mom, there's something I need to tell you... I–"

"I know," She looks at me with a small smile, her green eyes glistening with tears.

My brows furrow together, giving her a confused look.

"You do?" I ask, my voice trembling.

She shrugs, "I know everything, I'm your mom... Plus, you gagged at the smell of chicken today, that was a dead giveaway." She bites back a smirk and I cover my face, laughing through some tears before looking at her again.

"I guess I’m not as good at hiding things as I thought."

"You never were," She says softly as she scoots closer to me, bringing me into her warm embrace.

I sigh deeply into her, squeezing her tight and breathing in her comforting scent.

"How are you feeling?" she asks, still holding onto me.

"Scared shitless..." I joke and we share a laugh before she pulls back to wipe the tears that escaped against my will, "But I'm happy," I admit, scanning my mother's face for any sign of judgement.

There was none.

She wipes her own few tears, looking at me with only love in her eyes.

"My baby's having a baby,"

"I think grandma sent me this baby," I whisper, allowing my emotions to come through.

My mom tucks my hair behind my ear with her gentle, comforting touch and she listens intently as I tell her my dream. We hold onto each other and cry. I then show her the ultrasound pictures and we talk until the sun disappears.

My phone buzzes softly and I check the message to find Matt’s text that he’s landed and on his way. The reality of his imminent arrival causes a mixed-wave of nausea and guilt to wash over me.

My mom looks at me with a reassuring smile.

"I'll leave you two be so you can talk. I'll see you in the morning, my love." She tells me softly, kissing my cheek and hugging me tight.

Matt and I were gonna stay here during our time in Maine. It's best right now that we have our own space, especially since my brother and his girlfriend are staying by my parents house.

As she heads out, I take a deep breath and text Matt to let him know the door is unlocked. I slip into the shower, trying to calm my racing thoughts and steady my nerves. The warm water helps, but my mind keeps racing as I mentally prepare for the conversation ahead.

Wrapped in a towel, I check my reflection in the mirror, trying to see if I look any more put together than before.

I think this is the best we're going to get.

I jump when I here the front door open and shut, then some feet shuffling. My heart skips a beat.

Matt's here.

"It's just me," I hear him call out as well as more shuffling and a paper bag crinkling.

"Hey! I-I'll be right out!" I call back out, my heart picking up again but I take a deep breath.

I quickly get dressed in a tank top and shorts; there's a heat wave here, and I can't figure out how to adjust the thermostat.

I step out of the bathroom to see Matt standing at the kitchen island, unpacking burgers and fries onto the counter. The aroma of it makes my stomach growl and I realize I hadn't eaten anything since lunch.

I admire him for a second; he's wearing pink sweatpants, a black hoodie and a backwards fitted hat.

He turns at the sound of my presence and his face softens. I'm trembling when he steps forward to embrace me into a tight hug. He buries his face into my neck before giving me a few kisses there.

"Hi," I breath out, my voice shaky.

I was so nervous.

"Hey, you okay?" His voice is so soft, my heart aches. He pulls away, rubbing his hands up and down my arms while scanning my face.

"You're shaking. What's going on?" He presses.

He knows something is up, he can see it all over my face. I shake my head, brushing it off to have one more minute with him.

I pull him back to me, wrapping my arms around his neck this time and locking him against me. He bends down a bit to accommodate but doesn't question it, just hugging me back. His arms wrapping around my waist and pressing our stomachs together.

My heart is slamming against my ribcage and I know he can feel it, his thumb rubbing my hip soothingly tells me he does.

"How are you doing?" His voice is muffled with his face buried into my neck.

"I'm okay, better now that you're here. I missed you," I mumble, kissing the side of his neck and running my hand down between his shoulder blades.

I breath him in, noting the warmth of him and the solidness of his body against me.

"I missed you... I brought us food. I don't know about you, but I'm fucking starving," He puts his hands on my hips to pull back from the hug, but I stay put.

He chuckles, giving me one more squeeze.

I pull back just enough to line our faces up and give him a kiss, which he eagerly returns.

"Thank you for being here, it means a lot," I say against his lips and he pulls back slightly to push my hair out of my face.

"I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else." He hums into another kiss, then places three quick pecks before giving my butt a light tap, signaling that it’s time to let him go.

I finally release him and head to the food on the counter.

"I passed a Five Guys on the way here, so I hope that's good for you," He grabs a handful of fries before munching on them.

As I reach the counter, the smell of the burgers makes my mouth water, and I can’t help but smile at his thoughtfulness.

“Five Guys is perfect, thank you,” I say, grabbing a fry from the bag and tasting its salty warmth.

Matt grins, clearly pleased with himself. “Good, because I was too hungry to think of anything else,” he jokes, unwrapping one of the burgers and handing it to me.

I take it, thanking him quietly, my fingers brushing against his. For a moment, I just look at him.

He’s here, and I should be telling him I’m pregnant with his child, but instead, we’re standing in the kitchen eating burgers. As if I’m trying to cling to this last bit of normalcy before everything changes.

I force myself to take a bite of my burger, moaning at the greasy, savory goodness. Matt smirks at me, taking a hearty bite of his own burger.

“S’good?” he asks through his bite, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

I nod, moaning again in response, savoring the taste as it temporarily distracts me from everything else.

Matt takes a sip of his drink before bringing a napkin to my face and wiping the corner of my mouth and chin.

"Wipe ya lip, kid," He teases and I roll my eyes, grabbing the napkin from him.

Matt inhales another large bite of his burger, and we slip into our familiar rhythm.

He tells me about his brief trip to Chicago, and I’m relieved to hear he managed to gather a few funny stories and catch at least one day of the festival. He’s notably enthusiastic while he talks, and I can’t help but smile at his excitement.

He also reassured me that Chris wasn't upset at all, which I already knew from the sweet text he sent me this morning.

“Well, I’m glad you had fun,” I say, trying to match his enthusiasm.

I then give him the rundown for the next few days while we prepare for the funeral and memorial.

We continue eating, the conversation shifting to lighter topics as we enjoy the burgers and each other’s company.

It feels so easy, so light. It always is with us. But underneath the surface, the words I need to say weigh heavy on my mind, threatening to break the easy rhythm.

Matt watches me closely, his own burger forgotten for the moment as he sees me disappear inside my head again.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks again, his eyes look between mine. “You seem… I don’t know, you're acting weird.” He tries to find the right words.

"Matt..." I go to dismiss him, getting up slowly but he cuts me off, standing up too.

"No, I'm serious. You've been acting weird for days, and I'm no longer 2000 miles away for you to push me away or avoid me." He steps closer to me, trapping me against the counter with his arms on either side of me.

"Is it your about grandma? Did something else happen while I was gone?" He throws out, looking between my eyes.

"I–" I try to speak up but my voice gets caught in my throat and I get lost in the icy storm of his relentless gaze.

"It's not just my grandma," I manage to say, the admission causing him to soften slightly, a glimmer of relief at the small breakthrough.

"Okay, so talk to me, sweetheart. Please, I've been worried sick about you. You have no idea," he pleads, his breath brushing against my skin.

"I didn't know how to tell you..." I try to put together my words but I feel like I'm making it all worse.

I watch as his eyebrows pinch together and he leans down more so he's eye level with me instead towering over me.

"Tell me what, kid. I'm not a mind reader," His voice strains, frustration evident in his face.

When I try to break eye contact with him he pulls my chin to align our eyes again.

"What, d'you crash my car?" he guesses, clearly joking, his eyebrows raising playfully.

I can't help but smile and snort at his attempt to ease the tension.

"No, it’s not that," I say, my voice cracking slightly. "It's much bigger than that," I trail off and he waits expectantly.

"I uh– I went to the doctor yesterday," I pause and study his face, which drops ever so slightly, seeming to be bracing himself.

He stays silent, whether it was out of patience or fear, nothing could have prepared for my next sentence.

"I went to confirm that I was pregnant," I finally blurt out, my voice shaky, and he freezes.

Not one muscle moves in his face or his body.

"You're..." His voice cracks and he clears his dry throat, hitting his chest, "Are you serious?"

"I'm seven weeks, or a month and a half," I stammer, my voice wavering. "I don't really know how to—"

"Seven..." He whispers in disbelief, the shock settling in and I nod. "Y-you were on birth control– you have that AED–"

"IUD, yes, I did. It still happened, that shit is useless if it moves out of place," I explain and he looks down between us.

"A-and everything's okay, you're okay?" He looks up at me again, holding onto my face.

I take hold of his wrists, rubbing my thumb over his skin.

"I'm fine, the baby's fine..." I say softly and his eyes widen in realization as he pales.

"Oh my fucking god," He pulls back, cupping his hands over his mouth. "I need to sit down."

"Okay, okay. Do you want water?" I panic, hoping he doesn't pass out or puke.

He takes a seat at the dining table, shaking his head before taking off his hat and leaning his elbows on his knees.

"Oh my god, I thought I was crazy..." He says, his voice cracking with nerves as he presses his palms into his eye sockets.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"I had a feeling all fucking week," he says, his voice still shaky, and my brows knit together.

"I knew something was up. You were acting different. You were moodier than usual, you were napping all the time—and you never nap... and your tits are huge," he adds, and I roll my eyes.

"Sorry, that’s beside the point," he continues quickly, "I just couldn’t shake the feeling that you could be... I think I was trying to convince myself you weren't, but then you were so sick before I left," he rambles, staring blankly at the wall.

"It's a lot to take in, I know." I swallow thickly as I watch him process everything.

"You're pregnant," he says finally, looking at me again, this time with tears brimming his eyes. "And you were dealing with all of this by yourself," His voice is low and I shake my head, moving to stand between his legs, cupping his face gently.

"Hey, no. None of that... How could you have known?" I shush him and pull his head towards my chest.

His hands rest behind my thighs, his thumb lightly stroking my right leg. I run my fingers through his hair, comforting him as much as he's comforting me.

"I've been so scared to tell you..." I confess softly and he pulls back slightly, looking up at me with his brows furrowed.

"I know this wasn't part of our plan...at least not for a while. But before I took a test, the night my grandma passed, I had a dream. I was here, in my grandmother's garden... and she told me I was pregnant. Matt, the feeling I had," I pause, struggling to find the right words.

"It was the most intense, pure form of happiness I've ever felt. I can't even describe it to you..." I trail off.

I shake my head, "I know, I sound crazy. But I think this was meant to happen." I whisper, heat creeping up my neck at the admission.

He’s silent for a moment, absorbing my words. Then, a slow smirk carves a crease into the side of his mouth. "You are fucking crazy…" he murmurs, his playful tone breaking the tension as his smile lines deepen.

I huff a breathy laugh, the sound catching in my throat as my emotions take over again. Tears blur my vision, and I can’t hold them back any longer.

"Are you mad?" I squeak, letting my fear slip through the dam I built up.

He's immediately shaking his head, his eyes widen with sincerity, "Mad? Of course not. I mean, I thought we'd maybe get a cat first but..." He says, quirking his lip and I can't help the laugh that escapes through a sob.

I was the definition of an emotional wreck.

He gently squeezes my hips as I tip my head back to collect myself.

"Look at me," he says firmly, and I sniffle and hiccup before forcing myself to look at him. "Am I surprised? Yes. Terrified? Definitely. But, not even close to mad."

He wipes my tears tenderly, "We're going to be okay. Take it easy, alright? Deep breaths," His tone gentle but assertive, dragging me out of the pit of my dark thoughts.

I sigh as his thumbs draw circles on the exposed skin on my hips.

"I'm sorry," I say and he pulls me to sit sideways on his lap this time.

"Why are you sorry?" he asks softly, intertwining our fingers and bringing my hand to his mouth for a kiss.

"Our lives are going to change and I feel like it's my fault,"

"C'mere," He pulls me in fully, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I love you, and we're going to get through this... We were gonna do it anyway; we're just getting a headstart, yeah? Everything is going to work out," He tells me softly and I can tell he means every word.

Matt never says anything he doesn't mean.

"Also, don't say stupid shit like this is your fault. Last time I checked, it takes two to tango," He says firmly, lightly slapping my hip.

I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat as I lean into him completely, resting my head on his shoulder. His hand rubs gentle circles on my back, and I close my eyes, letting myself soak in the comfort of his presence.

"I missed you so much," I whisper, my voice muffled against his shirt. "I've been so sick, this kid might be trying to kill me," I try to joke, and he breathes a laugh into my shoulder.

A few beats of silence pass, broken only by the distant sound of crickets outside and the occasional creak of the old house settling.

"We're having a kid," He speaks up, realization laced in his voice and I hum against him. "Maybe we're both fucking crazy,"

I stifle a laugh and pull back to look at him, "D'wanna see it?" I ask, getting up from his lap and he looks to my stomach with a raised brow.

"Kid, you're not showing yet," he says, leaning back into the chair with his arms crossed, a playful smirk on his face and I roll my eyes.

"No, the ultrasound. Hold on," I say as I head to the counter to grab the pictures from my bag.

I pull out the strip of photos, and when I turn back, I see Matt standing up and stretching. He takes off his sweatshirt and his shirt riding up slightly, exposing a sliver of his stomach. Heat rises to my face but I can't stare too long though because he's walking towards me to look over my shoulder.

"Okay, what am I lookin' at?" He stands behind me, his hands on his hips as his head tilts in concentration.

"You see this black circle here?" I point to the sonogram, and he leans in closer, his breath warm against my neck as he grabs hold of the paper to steady it.

"Yeah, that's it?" He asks, narrowing his eyes and I giggle.

"No, do you see the tinier white blob inside it? That's the baby." I explain and his face scrunches for a second, looking at the picture again.

"No fucking way," he says in disbelief, a wide smile breaking across his face. "That tiny thing?" His voice raises a pitch as he looks at me, eyes wide with awe, "Can barely fucking see that," He says playfully before rubbing his eyes.

"Mhm," I can't help but giggle as he wraps an arm around me, pulling me in and placing a kiss to my temple. "Just wait til you hear it, the heartbeat was insane. It was so fast," I add and he freezes.

The realization in his face settles in even deeper as I tell him that, his soft smile returning.

"You heard the heartbeat?" He whispers, looking between my eyes and I nod.

"Yeah, yesterday. They emailed me the video of it, I'll show you in a bit if you want," I tell him and he kisses me then like he can't help himself.

"That's fucking nuts... do you feel pregnant?" he asks, his voice curious and his eyes slowly lowering to my stomach peaking out of my tank top.

I shake my head, "Not at all. I just feel like shit... and constantly bloated," I admit, laughing softly.

He lightly chuckles himself, a charmed smile on his face as he reaches to rubs my stomach a couple times.

"We're really gonna have to lock in, kid." He moves around me to pull me into a full hug, pressing our stomachs together.

"Okay, gamer, acting like this is a video game..." I scoff teasingly and he bends down, laughing into my neck.

"Well, what else do you want me to say? We're leveling up..." he continues the joke and I jab his side with my finger.

"Ow," he fake-cries, clutching his side with exaggerated pain before breaking into a fit of giggles.

"Stop saying corny shit, you goof," I warn, though his laughter makes it impossible not to smile.

I bury my face in his chest, my ear pressed against his heart as we settle into a comfortable silence.

"Now we really gotta get our own place," He says and I can hear his smirk.

"I don't know…" I shrug slightly, considering. "Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to stick around for a bit. It might be nice to have the extra help before we go completely on our own."

He pulls back slightly to look at me, tilting his head with an inquisitive expression. "You really think my brothers will be any help? They don’t know anything about babies."

I snort. “Probably not, but neither do we." I reason and his mouth shrugs in defeat.

"Good point... I guess we can wait it out, we're not in a rush. It'll definitely give us more time to research where would want to be somewhat permanently," He points out.

I hum into him and try not stress about that. The reality is we'd be putting ourselves in a tough spot—both our families are here on the East Coast, but our jobs and lives are rooted in LA.

It's easy to go back and forth when it was just us, but now we're gonna have a kid.

"I already hear your mind racing," his voice breaks me out of my thoughts as he rubs my back. "Don't worry, we'll figure it out..." he says softly, and I sigh deeply.

My stomach turns when I get a whiff of the food still laid out on the table.

"Matt," I say, pulling back slowly, holding my stomach.

"Mm?" he hums, looking at me with concern as I put my hand over my mouth.

"The smell of those burgers is making me sick now," I try not to laugh, and he shakes his head, immediately tossing all the trash into the large paper bag it came in.

"Alright, where's the incinerator?"

[cassidyandonlycassidy]

and they were teammates

words: 2.2k

warnings: 18+ only, smut (but not a lot), shower sex, established relationship, secret/hidden relationship, driver!reader, fluffy

when mclaren approached you to sign for their team, you had one question going through their head. did they know about you and lando? you weren't sure how to bring it up in the initial meeting. did lando already tell them? you were a rival driver for williams after all, which is why you kept your relationship private.

you felt really good about the first discussion. you've been scoring really well at your current team, despite williams struggling with performance, and it felt good that mclaren saw that and wanted to give you a bigger opportunity.

the first person you called when you left the meeting was your boyfriend. lando had no clue that mclaren was looking to sign you as their second driver, but he was instantly excited that his girlfriend could be even closer to him.

you quickly brought up your relationship, and ended up after a long discussion agreeing that lando should tell mclaren, and you'd both cross your fingers that it wouldn't mean you lose the offer, so when you got a phone call from zak, you picked it up nervously.

"hello." 

"lando told me, and can i just say, we did figure that you were either already together or would become a couple once you started here."

you let out a laugh. "i guess we aren't as good at hiding how we feel about each other as we thought."

sure, you hear it all the time from the fans because even while you only portray yourself as close friends publicly, you are a male and female being friends in f1, meaning of course people are going to ship you. its a lot different when people you're close to also see how you feel about each other.

you end up signing a two year contract, sad to leave williams who were the first team to give you an opportunity in f1, but extremely excited to be in papaya. the second you leave the room after signing, you see lando sitting on a bench outside the room. you scan the hallway quickly to make sure it's empty, deciding to keep your relationship under wraps from non-essential people, and run to him. lando stands up and twirls you in his arms, pressing a big kiss to your lips.

"im so happy." you whisper, taking his face in your hands. "we are gonna be teammates, can you believe that?" 

"we get to spend even more time together." lando says, squeezing your body against his, before you hear a door open and you're forced to separate, but his eyes don't lose the excitement.

everything goes so well, the announcement, seeing the fans excitement, all the press leading up to the new season. even your first qualifying with mclaren goes well, until the actual race when you dnf. it's certainly not how you wanted to start. there was some sort of problem with the engine forcing you to retire, but lando certainly made you feel better after with lots of kisses and cuddles in your driver's room to make up for it.

your next couple races go much better, enjoying building the team dynamic and getting to know everyone, all while constantly having lando around supporting you.

the second half of the season gets even better when the car improves massively, so now instead of struggling for points, you're trying for podium positions. lando gets p3 while you get p4, but you can't help yourself from running up to him and giving him a huge hug, wrapping your legs around his waist as he holds you up.

it sets off a whole new round of rumors, but you are just so proud of your boyfriend and wanting to show him and everyone.

"you did so well, im so proud of you." you say, pressing a kiss to his lips quickly, knowing the hallway you're standing in is high trafficked and someone is bound to walk down it and see you too conversing.

"next time it's both of us on the podium." lando says, and he's right, the next race, lando finds himself p2 with you right behind in p3. you give him another massive hug after both celebrating with the team, getting your helmet and your back slapped in congratulations.

you thought you would be more nervous for your first podium in f1, but the excitement and happiness outweighs that feeling massively, and lando subtly holding your hand in the cool down room, letting you stay connected to him.

you didn't think it could get better than standing on those steps with lando, spraying him with champagne and laughing as he dumps the bottle on your head before wrapping his arm around your shoulders, getting lots of pictures together and kind of forgetting that there is someone in p1 there, so focused on the two of you being on the podium together that it feels like winning.

next race is tough, so physically tough and draining, but when lando makes a move for p1 and gets it, you know you have to pull your weight and move up from p4, so you struggle for the positions, almost going off a couple times, but you make it up to p2 right before the checkered flag waves.

the excitement you feel from the team is unlike no other. during the first half of the season, they were happy if both drivers were in the points, but now there's the first p1 and p2 in years, as well as landos first ever win. you want to cry watching your boyfriend celebrate, you're so overjoyed for him that when you go to give him a hug, you don't even question when his lips press against yours for everyone to see.

you always discussed telling people when it felt right, and clearly it did for lando, and you're happy to not hide anymore so you kiss him back.

he pulls away with a big smile, one that doesnt leave his face as he gets onto the podium, holding up his p1 trophy before gesturing for you to join him on the top step.

you celebrate more after the podium, when you're supposed to be showering, you're pressed against the wall of landos driver's room, his hips pressing into yours with your legs wrapped around his waist. you hide your mouth in his shoulder, knowing the walls here are thin as one of his hands drops down to rub at your clit. you both cum at the same time, so wrapped up in the adrenaline of the race that you don't realize how exhausted the act makes you, both of you dragging your feet through the post race process, skipping celebrations that night in favor of crashing at your hotel room, but you make it up to the team the next night.

"so lando, y/n, we saw a big kiss during celebrations last week, is there anything you want to tell us?" the interview asks, causing your cheeks to go red. you carefully avoided all questions about the kiss, but when you saw that you and lando were paired together in the official press conference, you knew exactly what was coming.

you turn to lando who is sitting next to you, silently pleading for him to answer. "well, we've been together for about a year now, so we figured it was time everyone knew." lando smiles, addressing the reporters but his eyes don't look away from you as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. you smile and lean your body against his, knowing that he will be by your side to field all the questions.

it eventually dies down as the season continues on, both scoring a couple podiums, but no more wins for the team, even as both of you get close many times. you are a lot more open with your relationship now, occasionally holding hands and sneaking kisses, but you still try to keep it somewhat private as you avoid a lot of pda, wanting to still be professionals for your team.

the next race is an unexpected win for you. you were pushing hard for p1, when the man you were trying to get past went off the track while defending you, letting you get ahead for the lead. if you weren't on the last lap he certainly would have caught back up, but you ended up winning the race, with lando in p3. you jump into his arms, feeling tears well up in your eyes at him being there to celebrate your first win with you, just like you were there for his.

he makes sure you know how proud he is of you later in your shared hotel room when he buries his face between your legs, tongue lapping against your pussy, making you cum multiple times before he pulls his mouth away from you.

"love you." lando whispers as he pushes his cock inside of your entrance. "love you so much and im so proud of you." 

you smile and repeat the words back to him.

it's the second to last race of the season and you and lando are battling it out for p2 in the championship, with p1 already secured. it's a relief to be with a teammate who is going to be happy for you if you beat him, and vice versa. there has been no tension so far related to racing, and you know everyone at mclaren is relieved at that. everything is left on the track.

you qualified p5 with lando in p3, and you are pushing hard at the start of the race, quickly catching up with him before you round the first corner, when you feel a bump on your rear, causing you to spin out and hit at least lando, but you think another car as well. it's hard to tell with how fast everything is going.

you brace for the crash into the wall, and thankfully its not your first crash in racing, because your body knows exactly how to prepare for it. you take a deep breath once you stop moving, ears ringing but able to make out the team asking you if you’re okay on the radio.

“i’m okay.” you reply, doing a mental check over every part of your body to make sure you actually were okay. “lando?” you ask.

“also okay.” you let out a breath of relief at the reply, looking around before climbing out of the cockpit, seeing that four cars were ultimately taken out. you rush over to the matching orange car as lando gets out slowly, you can tell he’s also checking over his limbs to make sure nothing is injured and he just couldn’t tell because of the adrenaline. 

“lan.” you call out, and he turns towards you quickly, pulling you into a hug, helmets pressing against each other as you look into his eyes, seeing the fear in his, knowing that it’s all for you.

you head back to the garage with lando to go over the incident, turns out perez hit your rear and sent you spilling into lando, taking out russell as well on the way. you sigh when watching the footage, realizing how quickly that all could have gone wrong. you reach over and squeeze landos hand in your own, making him turn and press his lips to your forehead.

you get questions about it at the press conference next week, of course, but there’s not much more to say beyond what you said post race. again, you’re thankful to have lando there. he has two more seasons in f1 than you do, and you appreciate his tact when answering certain questions while still keeping his personality and humor. 

“next question is for everyone. there has been controversy lately about celebrities during the grid walk. do you support celebrities being on the track during that time and if so, is there anyone you’d like to see on the track?”

the question quickly devolves into what celebrities they want to see, with one driver saying they’d like to see margot robbie because she’s their celebrity crush. when it’s lando’s turn to answer, he turns to look at you, “i see my celebrity crush on the grid every race.”

you laugh and blush, hearing to crowd of reporters give an aww to your boyfriends sweet answer. “what about you, y/n?” “i think it’s fine having celebrities there, they don’t bother me, but maybe it’s a question to ask the team since we are in the car for a good part of it. as for celebrities i’d like to see?” you glance at lando, who quickly recognizes the mischievous glint in your eye. “my celebrity crush is drew starkey, i’d looove to see him.” “hey!” lando says, jabbing his fingers into your side, making you howl with laughter and push his hands away, smiling at him as he shakes his head, but leans in to give you a kiss.

“i love you.” you whisper to him, making sure the microphone is far away from your mouth so it doesn’t get picked up as lewis begins to answer a different question.

“i love you too.” lando says, leaning in and kissing your cheek. you smile happily and look into his blue eyes, knowing that no matter what happens in this final race, or next season, that everything will be good, because you have him by your side.

[drexee]

IM BACK WITH ANOTHER SLEEP HEADCANON! This time it’s for Donnie!!

I hope you enjoy!

Bayverse Don x gn!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Spelling maybe

Raph | Leo | Mikey

Donnie Sleep HCs

Donatello’s bed is just big enough to fit him comfortably without him dangling over the sides

He has a pretty sizable blanket, and it’s actually a weighted blanket! Something that will put him to sleep and keep him asleep. Like 15lbs-25lbs

About four regular sized, plush pillows

He used to have a body pillow too

The bed itself is pushed up and out of the way, against the farthest wall of his room. His desk is against the opposite wall

Donnie absolutely sees the importance of having his room as a place to sleep and be away from work

But try as he might, his room still becomes littered with various sketches, blueprints, or notes

He cleans up as much as he can, but it just keeps happening so he gave up 😅

Donatello doesn’t spend too much time in his room though, constantly at work and tinkering away in his lab. He’s a workaholic, you know this.

To get Donnie to bed is a challenge in itself, but not impossible.

Luckily, he loves spending time with you, so you only need to ask him once.

Or twice.

Maybe three times, but he’s almost done! Promise! Just need to make sure that one part was secure and wasn’t going to grow legs and walk away by morning

Donnie’s favorite position is one where he’s facing you: him laying on his side, shell supported by a pillow or two

He’ll leave little kisses on what he can reach of you, but they’re so feather light, you barely even know they’re there. He’s too afraid of waking you up

He likes to either have his forehead pressed to yours or have your head tucked under his chin, he craves closeness

He tends to bring your leg up and hook it over his own. He’ll then scooch himself further into your space until you two are properly locked together and honestly? At that point? He couldn’t care less about anything else in the world. He’s not moving from you.

Through the night though, your legs become so tangled with his, you don’t know where he ends and you begin, like you were playing twister in your sleep or something

Donnie loves it when you use his arm as a pillow!

He knows it’s gonna go numb, but he doesn’t mind. He would take pins and needles over anything if it meant you got good sleep

His other arm is usually wrapped around you to hold you close, he likes to rub your back too! It’s a sure fire way to knock you out

It makes his heart go all fluttery whenever he thinks about that because he loves that he just knows you so well

He adores laying in bed with you and doesn’t fall asleep until well after you doze off just so he can look at you

It never really crossed his mind that it may be a bit weird to watch you sleep. You’re cute, and it calms him down. It’s his favorite past time.

Is he obsessed? No.

Maybe.

A little.

But is it obsession if you’re both in love? He’s caught you staring at him too! He knows you do the same!

Yeah, so he’s counted all your eyelashes, all your beauty marks, and logged every sigh you make into his long term.

And yeah, he keeps track of your REM cycle so he knows exactly how long it takes for you to slip off into deep sleep, and - Whatever!!! Just let him have this! Who are you?? The Police???

Donnie is a normal sleeper most nights and doesn’t move too much, may twitch a bit, but other than that, nothing.

Doesn’t make a peep when he’s knocked out, but breathes very deeply

Unless he gets an idea!! He used to just jolt out of bed to his desk, but he’s taken a tumble too many times (he kept forgetting the mess of limbs you two create) and has since learned how to stealthily slip away and back into you once he’s done

He gets a few nightmares, and he may unintentionally wake you if he gets too caught up in them.

But when you wake him up from one of those terrible dreams and cuddle with him? Ohhh he falls. He falls so hard for you. Especially when you rub your thumb across his cheek and talk him through his breathing

Your soothing words are like a balm to his overworked brain and he’s forever grateful for you

He’s pretty sure he’s got hearteyes

You’ve gotten a few chirps out of him like that, and he’s so embarrassed about them pLEASE DONT TEASE HIM 😭

He won’t get mad, but he’ll get so flustered and then you’ll have a child lock on your phone and he’ll have no idea what you’re talking about

Donnie’s usually awake before you, and will spend a few minutes basking in your warmth before he goes to grab you something quick to drink for when you wake up.

And when he comes back to see you curled up around his pillow? The thought that even in sleep you search for him and need him close to you?

It makes his knees buckle

And it takes everything in him to not just slip right back under those covers and replace that pillow you’ve grabbed onto

Right!! There’s numero dos!! Until next time!

[ilylovelyz]

kenma fatherly headcannons

i thought it would be interesting to think about what kenma would be like as a father 🤔

look, im not even gonna be nice with it, i definitely dont see kenma being excited at the idea of having a kid 😭

definitely was like "are you being fr 😟?" when you told him

he obviously wasnt an asshole about it, but he couldn't help his feeling and indifference about the whole thing

the two of you had a long talk about it

the whole time he was more or less "are you sure about this"

hes not a horrible person/partner, he wasnt about to force you to do an abortion

he just wanted to make sure this was actually what you wanted to do and if you were actually serious about it

after you were stern about keeping the baby, he was fine with it

he was more worried about how he would be like as a father because he's very much scared of little kids and struggles to bond with just anyone

also a little peeved at the thought of his alone/free time being taken away

doesnt like the idea of his alone time with you having a literal permanent third wheeler but wont admit that to anyone but kuroo 🌚

during ur pregnancy, he was actually really okay with it

he would check up on you various times of the day, asking how you feel

yeah, he wasnt really excited for it, but that doesn't mean he wont try for it

would pause his games and go to wherever part of the house you were in, eyeing your baby bump with those wary cat eyes of his, all "..how are you feeling..?"

tbh i see you getting pregnant before marrying him because the two of you were kinda lazy with being careful 😅

he kinda facepalms because now hes like "why didnt i think of the possibility of pregnancy🤦🏽‍♀️"

while it doesn't speed up the whole process, he'll now begin taking the thought of marriage seriously

he'll bring up the idea of eloping, or a small wedding because he doesn't like the idea of a big and elaborate wedding ceremony/party

he didnt really care about gender, but he did care about baby names because he didnt want the baby to have a stupid name

now i see him being very curious tho

so he'll ask you a bunch of questions about how it feels to be pregnant, eyes wide when you tell him all the gruesome parts 😭

will also spend some time looking up more information about pregnancy and childbirth

now i do think he'd be aware about how he should change himself for the better

he grew up kinda isolated, and he 100% didnt want that for his kid, especially considering the fact that his child will most likely be an only child too

aw sleeping in kenma's arms while he plays video games cuz hormones made you sad

he'll like announce ur pregnancy to his followers/fans, it was so random he was like "yeah guys im having a kid 😪 kinda scary ngl" during one of his livestreams

really appreciates and is totally surprised when he's gifted money and baby supplies by his fans

maybe posts short little clips of you sleeping in an odd position or doing random things because he thinks its funny how you now do things differently because your bump prevents you from doing things in a certain way

i think it would interest him in the way your baby bump grows

he would be a little mortified at the way he would poke your bump's skin and watch his indent stay there long after he pulled his finger away

would be kinda "??? 🤔🤨" when he first feels the baby's kick/movements

he would "begrudgingly" walk to the store for you late at night if you were craving something

acts all annoyed but lets bffr kenma we know ur a softie 🤣

okay for the birth tho he's so mortified

definitely doesnt want to watch but obviously will be there for you because he knows better

the whole time he feels secondhand discomfort for you and feels your cries in his deep in his core cuz ur in pain and he doesn't like that 😕

this might sound weird, but i see him bringing his portable gaming system to the hospital so you can play with him and get ur mind off things

not saying his feeling towards the baby will change after the birth, but he'll definitely be like "oh wow 😳" when the baby is first born

have u ever seen that clip of steve irwin first looking at bindi when shes born and hes all amazed and awestruck by her?

its like that but its less noticeable and its more like "this is my child?"

a little scared to hold the baby at first because he's afraid to drop her

but once he does he'll look down at it and be like "ur not so bad afterall 😪"

DEFINITELY doesn't get any sleep during the first few months because he'll for some reason take late night feedings/crying upon himself

hes all "ur such a pain bro 😒" while rocking the baby back and forth to soothe it, all cuddly and gentle with it

tbh i cant decide whether it be a girl or boy so its up to reader to decide

omg hes mortified after the first belch spit hes gone afterwards

literally condemns the baby to hell

hates changing diapers but does it for the sake of the baby's comfort and health

when he's alone with the baby, he'd be like "ur kinda ugly 🤔" while playing around with it

tbh i see him getting random bouts of urges to play with the baby and speaking to it in a baby voice secretly

gets really embarrassed if hes caught and acts like it never happened

when ur not there to watch the baby while he's gaming he'll actually be okay with the baby sitting in his lap while he games

if he wins he'll be all "lets goooo 😝" all up in the babies face 😭 lifting it up into the air and just being such a gamer dad

also starts teaching the baby how to play games real early on, making them hold a controller or something and teaching them game logistics

the baby is like 5 months old and doesn't know about taxes but knows about dnd 🤣🤦🏽‍♀️

i see him like announcing the birth of his kid to his followers/fans a couple weeks after the birth

only shows what the baby looks like when its like 6 months old and crawling all in the background, he'll turn around and be like "wanna see my baby?", lift up the baby and put it's face all up close into the camera 😭

does 0.5 and only 0.5 photos on the thing 😅

does a couple more streams afterwards when he "games" with the baby and blame loosing on the poor thing 😅

aw i can see him and the baby having matching outfits when he goes out with it

he's not the best dad, but he'll try his hardest

on a sweet note, if kenma feels lonely when ur away, he'll allow the baby to sleep in the bed he shares with you as a "substitution" and cuddle with it

yk that tiktok audio that goes "leave me alone baby 😒" and then goes "ur my baby i love you ☹️☹️🥰😘" yeah that hes that

[chaosisalwayscrying]

NSFW ABC’S

⇥ synopsis : nsfw abcs for chris (my man)

⇥ warnings : smut/suggestive themes

⇥ extra : this is also late but my mom has not left me alone long enough to actually write these on time 😭😭

⇥ masterlist !

⇥ taglist !

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

   hes so good at aftercare!! like he is so so gentle. asks before pulling out and SPRINTS to get a rag to clean you up with, or if youd prefer he turns on the shower and helps you get clean before dressing you

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

   chris loves his hair, he loves how you tug on it as hes eating you out, and he loves the way you play with it when hes draped on your chest

    chris loves your ass and hips. he loves the way your ass jiggles when you walk up the stairs from his room, loves the way it bounces when you ride him, and he loves seeing his handprints on it

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

   never used condoms, youve been on bc since chris suggested starting to have sex. he obviously asked you about condoms multiple times in the middle of sex, scared youd changed your mind and he just forgot (bless his heart)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

   LOVES LOVES LOVES when you blindfold him. loves not knowing whats gonna happen, he also loves how it heightens his other senses

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

   had 2 bodies before you, so he had some experience under his belt, but he still asked you what you were comfortable with

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

   doggy and reverse cowgirl. backshots are his absolute favorite thing ever because he can easily smack your ass and grip your hips hard as hell. he also loves watching your ass bounce as you bounce on him im reverse cowgirl, turns him on so bad

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

   nothing is serious to chris, hes cracking jokes left and right. only sometimes will he let it be more serious

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

   hes shaved not bald. has DEFINITELY let you use wax to make designs in his hair 😭😭

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

   can be romantic but doesnt do it often, hes not very good at it. praises you to the max to make up for it when hes trying to be more serious 😇

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

   he did it a LOT before you got together, but now that youre together he doesnt as much anymore. you do enjoy sending him nudes so he can send you videos of him jerking off in return tho

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

   mommy kink ‼️ he calls you ma outside of the bedroom anyway, but if hes feeling like being a sub hes whining out mommy every other word and LORD ITS HOT

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

   anywhere. if matt and nick are gone, hes a big fan of bending you over the kitchen table. in public he will literally follow you into the dressing rooms and press you up against the mirror

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

   literally anything. if its a serious situation hes not even thinking like that, but accidentally look at him the wrong way and hes hard, squat to get something, hes hard, change in front of him, hes hard. (bless his horny little heart)

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn-offs)

   brat taming, doesnt like the idea of punishing you or having you act a certain way 24/7

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

   this man could happily spend a year of his life buried between your legs. will literally eat you out until youre spent beyond belief. he doesnt mind you sucking his dick but he would much rather have you bouncing on it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

   fast and rough 95% of the time, but he can absolutely be slow and sensual if thats what you want. his pace depends all on you, you say go faster? hes going faster immediately. you say slow down? hes slowing down without a complaint and pressing a kiss to whatever bit of exposed skin he can

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

   LOVES LOVES LOVES QUICKIES. at a party? youre going to the first bathroom he can see without a line. at the mall? dressing room. at a restaurant? bathroom.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

   chris isnt opposed to experimenting, hes down to try most things once, but he does have a list of hard nos.

   however, he will take as many risks as he possibly can that youre ok with

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

   3 or 4, doing so many sports as a kid paid off because he has an insane amount of stamina. can go three rounds without even faltering, sometimes the fourth isnt possible cause he gets tired, but if hes REALLY horny he can go for four

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

   he owns none but you own a dildo and vibrator. he likes using them on you to tease you, and he likes watching them use them on yourself

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

   chris loves to tease but if he can see you arent feeling it he stops without you having to say anything (hes observed all your signs during and not during sex so he can read you like a book)

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

   sort of loud. if hes giving you backshots hes grunting and groaning but hes not being quiet about it, and if youre riding him, hes moaning and groaning and whining loud

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

   saw a tiktok about this couple doing a clone-a-willy, and very eagerly asked you if you would what that 😭 (clone-a-willy is this thing where you make a silicone mold of your dick and mail it to the company to make a dildo out of and they send it back)

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

   CHRIS IS THICK. he isnt too long but the thickness makes up for it. definitely needs to stretch you before even thinking about putting his dick in you 😭

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

   9/10, dude is ALWAYS HORNY, but he knows when to be serious and can go from 9/10 to 0/10 real quick

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

   falls asleep so fast, but he would never let himself fall asleep before you were both back in bed and comfortable.

⇥ TAGS !

@sturnioloshacker @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hertvgirl @cupidzsq @sturnnie @leah-loves-lilies @billkaulitz0630 @sturniolololover @stqrnstars @cicicinquistausa @tylerthecreatorsrealwife

[moodywyrm]

any input on college!abby taking bookworm!readers virginity? 🎤

so many thoughts. actually. thanks anon now im thinking.

so im pulling on college!abby in the two fics I've officially made for this pairing. aka. she's dorky, not super good at being forward with u, a munch, the works. at this point, u two have been dating for a while (it took fucking forever), n u confessed to her that ur a virgin after staying super late at her place n cuddling but like super intimate almost fucking-cuddling.

n she's like, 'that's okay baby, we don't have to do anything', but on the inside she's freaking out because she likes you so so much n she wants you more than she's ever wanted anyone, but she's terrified of fucking this up. she wants u to have the best first time ever, she wants to give u the world.

n u turn to her like, 'well I'm saying this now bc, I think I want to. I want u to be my first, now, if u want to,' n she's like yeah fuck yeah baby pls yes. so she rolls u two over, laying u down onto her bed n placing one hand near ur head while the other grips ur waist, n she leans down n kisses u. n this time it's just a lil bit different, still passionate, but with the promise of something more. she kisses u breathless, n ur letting out the quietest, barely there whimpers, reaching up and holding her biceps.

now, abby is never gonna be a one n done typa girl. she wants u shaking, satiated, n slutted out by the time she's done with u, but this is ur first time. so she's gotta take it slow. she starts with grinding u against her thigh, getting u used to being intimate with another person. then she moves to her mouth (spends so much time between ur legs that by the time she's done ur shaking like a leaf) n her fingers, stretching u open until she deems u ready. it takes hours, bc she's going so slow it's torturous, but the way she plays with ur body makes u feel like a livewire, raring n ready to go, even after four orgasms.

when she finally, finally deems u ready for her, she goes to her closet and pulls out a harness n three straps, brand new in box, that she bought way in advance just for u. all black, although one is shimmery n one is slightly translucent. different sizes. she helps u sit up, sitting behind u n present u with ur options, asking which one u want to use. u go for the medium one (the glittery one), practically trembling just thinking about it attached to her, sliding in n out of u.

abby, pretty baby angel with her hair down n no clothes, puts on the strap n lays u back down, kissing ur forehead while she adjusts u two to line up. she pulls ur hips up to rest on her thighs, rubbing her hands up n down ur thighs n waist to soothe you. slowly, she pushes in, n by now she's prepped u so thoroughly that the sting lasts only a few seconds n after that it's just fucking heaven. she gives u a moment to adjust, before slowly plunging in n out, grinding the strap into u, adjusting ur hips here n there before she here's u gasp n cling to her, tightening so much that the strap can barely move. she'd been hitting ur spot with her fingers, but this felt different, good, but different. the blunt, grinding motion of the strap against that gushy lil spot made u quake n whine for her, grabbing for her n pulling her down to kiss u. this position also caused the base of the strap to hit her clit even more, n at this point she was so pent up after watching u fall apart for her that her climax was approaching so fast. u two stayed that way, grinding n whining, abby occasionally pulling back to thrust into u, before ur breathing picked up n u scrambled for purchase on her body, spasming around her strap with the prettiest moans she's ever heard. ur orgasm is fading but ur still whining n she's grinding n grinding n grinding until she lets out the most guttural groan into ur ear, followed by the sweetest lil whimper, cumming so hard she whites out for a second.

u two stay like that for a while, trying to steady ur breathing, n just holding each other. eventually, abby has to pull out n she soothes u as u whimper from the loss. her aftercare btw? top fucking notch, cleans u up, showers with u to get everything off, literally props u up bc ur legs are fucking jelly, rubs lotion onto u, massages ur sore hips, dressing u in her comfort clothes n drying ur hair before carrying u to bed n giving u soft lil kisses n reassurances n cuddles until u both drift off into the best sleep you've had in a while.

yeah. I have some thoughts.

[ilypaigebuckets]

Dating Kate Martin Headcannons!

little head cannon post bc i have so little written for kate! sorry i haven’t been active ive just been so busy but im otw to the lizzy mcalpine concert sorry just doxxed myself maybe?? idk but yay so fun but yeah im not busy after tn like no plans whatsoever 🥳

- kate definitely fell first

- i don’t think she’d be like ACTIVELY looking for a partner i think she just saw you and was like “yep i want that one” but was too scared to actually pursue you

- caitlin definitely had to hype her up to ask you out on a first date

- your guys’ first date is definitely something cozy and personable like a little coffee shop or cafe. even though it’s simple, kate would be so nervous. you guys spend the time together getting to know each other and for your second date you invite her over to your apartment that evening to watch a movie and have dinner

- she definitely kisses you on the second date bc she’s such a uhaul and already knows you’re gonna be special to her

- her love languages are definitely physical touch and quality time, and words of affirmation too!!

- she loves having full on cuddle sessions with you in the mornings, before bed, even in the middle of the afternoon when you guys have a spare moment to kill. she’s the self proclaimed queen of cuddles and always tries to scoop you up into her lap whenever she gets the chance.

- kate always wants to be touching you, no matter where you are. even in public, she’ll be hugging you from behind or holding your hand. her teammates have definitely had to tell her to cool it with the pda once or twice because she’s so enticed by you she totally forgets about everyone else around you two.

- kate’s always making time for you. even if you guys are just studying for your classes in silence or she meets up with you to walk you to your lecture, she enjoys it because it’s with you.

- she wants you to come to all of her games. one time you missed one of her away games due to a family get together and she was really upset by it. she wasn’t mad at you or anything, but she was definitely pouting about how much she missed you.

- kate is such a sweetheart to you. if you’re feeling down about yourself, best believe she will be able to tell!! she writes sweet sayings and positive affirmations on little sticky notes and puts them up on your refrigerator and bathroom mirror for you to look at.

- she loves taking care of you, to her you’re her little baby. if you’ve had a tough week, she’ll lay down with you to take a nap and after you fall asleep she’ll get up and tidy your room up a bit. you wake up feeling so grateful for her but she assures you that she’s just a neat freak and it was her pleasure to

- she’s a super patient, and i think she’d definitely find that attractive in you so i don’t think you guys would have too many fights.

- most of your fights are probably driven by jealousy on either side. kate loves you so much and she sometimes gets paranoid your eyes will wander somewhere else. you love kate just as much, and all of the fans writing flirty comments to her definitely makes you insecure from time to time.

- when you fight, you and kate never yell at each other. you’re more passionate, while she’s more calm and collected so you might shed a few tears trying to prove a point. once she sees that you’re crying, though, it’s game over and she squashes the entire thing and rushes over to hold you in her arms. she hates seeing you upset, and she hates even more that it’s partly because of her.

- kate definitely loves attention and gets annoyed/slightly jealous when you talk to her teammates over her

- “i just don’t understand why you were talking to caitlin for SO LONG y/n. do you think she’s cooler than me?” and she shows her little puppy dog eyes and pouts her lip at you and you almost fall for it

- nicknames: for kate, you definitely call her love, lovebug, baby, sweet little names like that. kate calls you baby, princess and have you guys seen her tattoo that says sunshine? she would definitely call you her sunshine too (i have a fic idea for this so lmk if you want me to write itttt)

[prettyboykatsuki]

Ari, if you feel like it, I desperately need you to elaborate on Alpha!Nanami....

referencing this post

gender neutral reader, no curses au.

cw for dubcon bonding (bc of heat)

jaskdksdj im not like. a nanami girl but i think the idea of average salary worker nanami who is an alpha is super funny and very in line especially because i think he really goes out of his way to hide it.

like. he really doesn't enjoy anything about it contrary to popular belief. the ruts exhaust him and he doesn't like being treated different as a result of his secondary sex so at his job, i think he hides his status and lives as a beta for the most part.

in my head - he ends up meeting you at his work. you don't work like... for his department. you're in like IT or some similarly isolated position at his workplace and he just. KNOWS. right away. it's so bothersome for him KDSJF

not only does he not like the idea of having a fated pair (guy who believes love is a choice etc etc) but he also finds you being his co-worker sooooo awful. he just finds the whole thing troublesome.

for an omega, you have an extremely blase and frank personality. nanami brings his work computer to you and you're new to the department or something. and as you both come to the realization that you're each others fated pairs - you barely react. nanami is in distress and you're just like 'oh? you're my pair huh?' AND THEN GO BACK TO YOUR WORK WITHOUT A SINGLE COMMENT.

and like. nanami is so confused he ends up going back to his desk. but like. that's definitely something you should talk about right? he barely knows your name and number so he goes back determined to at least find out your name. once he gets over the shock of having a fated pair he like rlly takes a second to notice you

AND IT STRESSES HIM OUT!! he invites you to lunch and asks you to tell him about yourself since he's a super responsible guy and you talk a sloths pace and you're entirely too nonchalant about everything. you don't wear scent patches as an omega, you're not really on any medications either, your heat is irregular, you don't think of yourself as an omega at all, you skip meals. every detail stresses him out more and more.

a lot of people mistake nanami for being the kind of person who like. really willingly wants certain dynamics and i dont view that as true. for him, encountering you as the disaster you are is the first time in his life he feels like he is an alpha and he means that in the worst way possible KDJSFJKS. like you stress him out so much he's like FUCK. i need to get their shit together or IM gonna get stressed out.

so nanami ends up spending a lot of time with you mostly just trying to sort your life out for you but he finds that.... you're very? relaxing to be around? nanami at one point feels like he lives to work and doesn't work to live imo.

but you're not like that. nothing seems to really bother you. you're like... an adorable unconcerned sloth. and sure you could be a little more conscious but it really relaxes him to hear you talk because you view everything very simply and don't worry about whats not in your control if you don't have too. and you're weirdly, crazy endearing when you show expressions other than sleepiness or boredom.

you like. weirdly melt his stress away. he finds you so soothing to be with and it's his first time really feeling like he's acting on instinct because he gets rlly gradually possessive as he realizes how attractive you are an omega. there are probably a lot of other alphas who would kill to be with someone as comfortable by as you

he becomes soooo fond of you its genuinely very scary for him. like as you get closer in your relationship and the distance closes - you end up snuggling him on his couch and he's so content and he ends up scenting you like some kind of overexcited teenager because you are so STUPIDLY cute like that. you sometimes even tease him about it and that is sooo bad for his heart.

he kind of loses control around you dkjskj. when he bites your nape for the first time, its because you've gone into heat and he loses his mind because fuck you smell so good and you are so cute when you are begging for his fucking knot that he ends up fucking you with your arms pulled back and digging his teeth into your nape until you're all cozy again.

once your heat passes he literally prostrates himself in front of you after the fact. ITS SO FUNNY DFKJS. he drops his head down to the floor bc its sooo out of character for him. in very you fashion though, you sort of shrug and tell him "im glad you're my fated pair, nanami-san. you're a good alpha," and he just. implodes internally. he's thinking about how to get married like days after and he's so seriously in love with you even though he's still kinda stoic

to him you're like. the only good thing that comes out of him being an alpha LOL

[blorbosinmyheadcentral]

your art makes me explode in a positive way like

im chewing and swallowing it in an aggressive way like

it's just SO good im melting ilove your shading and KEHEKEBEKJDJF

anwayshi hello do you happen to have any headcanons for showtime rolls on the floor and dies

Thank you so much, really appreciate it!

Oh God I don't know if this will read as coherent because my thoughts about Showtime are all over the place. But I'll try to format this the best I can

✨Showtime HCs! ✨

Their relationship starts when they start spending time together.

(The reason why they do so could vary. In Supervised Machine Learning's case, Pomni becomes something of a "tutor" to Caine; They discover that they work well together, and the other's company can be quite pleasant!).

So Pomni and Caine build a weird, but comforting friendship, and all is well.

Then the feelings appear.

Caine is the first to realize he fell in love.

It sounds illogical but hear me out… it'd be really funny--

Ok no seriously I think Caine can actually feel. Keyword "can". He's very much still a machine and it shows in the pilot. But like his inspiration (AM), Caine is also a rogue AI. Whatever his programming originally intended him to do, he probably doesn't follow it as closely now as back when he was created (which is a whole other post).

Caine knows what love is and the extend it can go, since the Moon is so open about her feelings. He just doesn't like the Moon back specifically haha (sorry Moon) :}

All this to say, I do believe this is within the realm of possibility for him. (Not that it's ever gonna happen towards anyone in the show. These are just wishful shippy thoughts).

He might not recognize it as love at first, because it manifests in such a different way from his one reference point.

His friendship with Pomni had gone through phases.

When they first met, he continuously touched her with no concern for how she felt.

Learning from and about Pomni herself led him to come to respect her boundaries (and becoming mindful of everyone else's).

Then they're close friends, and gradually, Pomni does not mind his regular wacky, touchy-feely self. So Caine acts as he had always done before.

Caine expresses his love for Pomni with physical gestures and his undivided attention.

When they teleport to travel to other places, he holds her close so she doesn't get too dizzy; he pats her head to reassure her; he touches her arm to get her attention; he grabs her hands when he's excited about her ideas; he holds eye contact for prolonged periods of time; and he touches, and touches, and touches, and touches.

It's selfish, and so he keeps it buried in his deepest 0's and 1's. But he'd like to keep hanging out with Pomni, having her in his sight, and feel the texture of her gloved hands until the end of time.

Despite all this, to him, virtually nothing changed.

What? He's spending time with Pomni as he'd always been doing, and behaving as he'd always behaved!

It's Bubble of all people that has to point out that, "Hey boss. I think you WANT her!"

Absurd. Nonsense. Preposterous! It is merely a relationship of mutual support and affection between a ringmaster and his trusted, former-human companion. Nothing more.

(Declaring his love to her unprompted didn't ever cross his mind, so there's no way it could be that. Is there?)

Caine finds out that yes, there is.

Pomni had always been a nervous wreck, but her mind state becomes more manageable over time. She eventually adjusts to the circus life like everyone else did.

"Accepting" her fate is a different story. The will to escape, to remember, never really leaves. She's just more careful about it.

So when she starts working with Caine - to improve life so people don't go abstracting anymore, and hopefully find a definitive exit - she's not expecting to end up liking her time with him.

Not that she'd absolutely hate it, either. He's… "okay"… Just-- outlandish, loud, he keeps invading her personal space, he keeps touching her, and it makes her die a little every time.

If he's up to listening, though… it can't be that bad, right?

Turns out that no, it wasn't that bad.

Yes, he is outlandish, loud, he keeps invading her personal space and touching her. But she explains what she means to him, clearly and patiently, and he makes an effort to do better. An actual effort.

Sometimes he'd misinterpret what she meant - the ambiguity of human language - and the new games would go horribly. But little by little, his efforts make life overall better. Something reminiscent of actual, real life, the one they've all forcibly left behind.

And he tries, and he tries, and Pomni finds herself enjoying the process as much as the good results.

Pomni likes Caine's eagerness to learn. His enthusiastic attitude borders on silly, and the absurdity makes her laugh on occasion. When faced with the prospect of a "real" exit, she loves his upbeat optimism.

When she's not hanging out with Ragatha, Jax, Gangle, Zooble and Kinger, she begins to enjoy spending quality time with Caine.

Each one of their hang outs is a new surprise. They make a picnic in the tallest mountain exactly in between day and night. They learn to dance - while floating in the air. "Since you asked, here's a DIGITAL camera! Let's take pictures of the Void for one tenth of a second at a time!"

Sometimes he just comes by Pomni's room, and they end up losing track of time. Just chatting about how things have been, what they could be, and what to do next. Ideas and ideas and ideas.

Before Pomni knows it, she's comfortable enough that recalling his old habits makes her not dread them anymore. So when Caine stands close and lightly touches her arm due to oversight, she makes sure he knows it's all right.

And they keep spending time together, and he touches, and touches, and touches her. Pomni, in turn, feels lighter, and lighter, and lighter. Peaceful, at ease. Dare she say, happy, even.

Life is not perfect. As it stands though, it's good enough. No one has abstracted. No one is at risk of abstracting so far.

Progress is slow, but the research for an exit continues, and she is hopeful. The thought of actually leaving grows closer to reality. But a part of her feels heavy.

When it occurs to Pomni that leaving the Amazing Digital Circus means leaving Caine behind, she is alarmed by how much she'll miss him.

It'll hurt. Badly. So much the thought pains her even now.

The moment Pomni realizes this, she comes to the unexpected conclusion that she may like Caine a little more than she thought she would.

This later leads to an interesting discussion with Ragatha.

By the time Pomni comes to that conclusion, Caine is already down bad.

Neither has any idea that the other is in love with them.

Cue dumbasses trying to deal with their feelings while the potential conflict the escape brings looms over their heads.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk!

[winstonsns]

Hi! Can you write headcanons on the gang with the youngest Curtis (Curtis!reader) being a hockey player? (Platonic ofc) I watched Inside Out 2 and now all I can think about is how cool hockey is. Also your work is literally astronomical I love reading it 😭

the gang and curtis!reader who plays hockey (request)

authors note: i’m so happy you like my writing! but i think im gonna start posting every other day, im getting a little stressed out about it. i hope that’s okay with you guys, please enjoy! also i reached 200 followers, thank you!

includes ponyboy, johnny, soda, darry, dally, two-bit and steve

word count: 2.7k

warnings: cussing, getting hurt, blood

PONYBOY CURTIS

you had been talking about your next game for weeks, spending time at the ice hockey rink for hours on end for the past week or so

when the day finally came, darry and soda already had their schedules for work, both busy, so ponyboy volunteers to go to your game

at the game, pony is watching from the stands, hardly saying or making any noise besides the occasional cheer when your team makes a goal

as you have the puck, aiming towards the goal with your stick, getting ready to hit the puck when a player from the other team shoves you, causing you to fall to the ground and lose the puck

“motherfucker—“ you grumbled, standing back up and grabbing your stick as the couch waved his hands around, “time out!” blowing his whistle

“curtis, bench!” he commands gesturing to a spot meant for resting after getting hurt

you roll your eyes, skating over to the spot, pushing the door and sitting on the bench, you just began to feel the pain in your right side of your body

ponyboy walks over closer to you, yet still in the stands, asking, “looks like that guy hit you hard, you hurt?”

you look at him through the clear screen, replying, “my right side hurts… i’m guessin’ when i take off my gear, im gonna have fuckin’ bruises everywhere.”

“you’ll be okay,” he paused, trying to convince himself, “when are you gettin’ back in the game?”

as on que, your coach asks, “curtis! you good enough to get back in?” you stand back up and push the door open, nodding at his question and saying goodbye to your brother, skating onto the rink

pony does a sport too, he always feels disappointed when no one goes to watch him at his meets, he wants to feel supported

so he always goes to your games as he wants you to feel supported and loved

JOHNNY CADE

johnny knew you were excited for your hockey game that was coming up, so he decided to support you and go to your game

as he entered the building, he kept his head low because he had snuck in, not wanting anyone to notice

he glances to his left, spotting you, your teammates and the opposing team already on the rink

johnny smiles at you when you look to your right, seeing him sitting down at the stands, you wave at him before the referee calls for everyone to get in their positions

as you are all playing the game, he keeps quiet but his attention is fully on what is happening in front of him

skating to the opposing player with the puck, you take it and skate towards the goal when the opposing player puts their hands out, pushing you to the ground

“damn it…” you mumble, quickly standing up almost as fast as you were pushed to the ground

a goal was scored, so you stand in your place until you feel ready to travel over to your teammates

“y/n, are you hurt?” johnny asks, his voice cracking slightly as you skate over to the stands, both of you face to face but separated due to the dasher board

you shake your head although you are holding your shoulder in pain, apologizing as you had to go back to your team

he enjoys to go to your games because it helps him feel emotionally better, it forces him to interact with others and also puts him in a foreign environment

he just wants to support you too, he knows it was hard for you to not have your parents at the games and your brothers to not be available

he values your relationship and sees you as a little sister although you’re not blood related

SODAPOP CURTIS

your brother had taken a day off to watch your hockey game, as you had been talking about it for days

“you’re gonna do amazing, sis! when i’m older i’ll finally be able to say, ‘my sister’s a pro hockey player!” he exclaims, attempting to make you excited for your game

it works, you begin to jump around as you enter the building, soda following after you and patting your shoulder, waking to the stands

you change in the locker room, coming out in your gear

the game starts as you skate onto the rink, you and a player from the opposing team face off to get the puck

you gain the puck first, skating straight across to the goal when the same player from the opposing team hits your leg hard with the stick

soda furrows his eyebrows, a confused look on his face as he watches the scene unfold in front of him

the player pushes you to the wall as you yell, “you ain’t allowed to do that, jackass!” pain is felt all over your left side

the referee doesn’t notice, soda yells after you, “you okay, sis?” you reply by nodding and looking at him

your focus is brought back to the game when the same opposing player charges in your direction, the puck in his possession

you skate towards him then turn in his direction, both of you next to each other as you push him to the ground, hard

taking the puck and skating in the opposite direction, your brother cheers for you as you score a goal

after the game, your adrenaline wears off and you realize you’re in much more pain as you realize

the two of you drive home then you both sit on the couch, you lean into your brothers side as he rubs your left shoulder

you sigh, closing your eyes as he continues to ask you, “this hurt?” you shake your head before he reassures you that you’re okay

soda’s literally your hype man, he’s glad another person in the family is good at sports because he knows he isn’t

always tells you that you did amazing in your games and practices, doesn’t want you to feel insecure about it and truly believes you’re amazing at hockey

DARRY CURTIS

it was your first game without the whole family being able to go, so darry took the day off work to support you

he drove you to the rink, asking, “you excited for the game?” glancing at you for a brief second, his attention going back to the road

you shrug, replying, “i don’t know…” looking outside the window as you arrive at the building

the two of you get out of the car, walking towards the building as you move closer to your older brother, a bit nervous for your game

as you walk into the building, you see the rink and direct darry towards the stands, “i have to change. i’ll be wearing dark blue.”

once you are done changing in the locker room, you bring your skates over to the rink and tie them

after warming up with your team, the game begins, a player on your team has the puck and passes it to you

you skate to the goal, getting ready to hit the puck when you feel pressure on your stomach, as you look down, you see a player on the opposing team kicking you as they lose balance

rolling your eyes, you hit the puck into the goal as another player from the opposing team grabs your helmet, smashing your head against the wall

your head suddenly felt warm, like something was running down your face, you recognized it as blood

yelling is heard around you, feeling someone pulling you up and skating you to the edge of the rink, you feel arms around you and your vision is blurry

“y/n are you okay? you’re… bleeding, hey, does anyone have a first aid kit?” darry talks quietly before yelling to the referee

he walks you to the bench and sits you down, your ears ringing and you hardly have energy to keep your head up

you hear the referee coming over to you with a first aid kit, giving it to your older brother while he takes your helmet off and wipes up the blood on your forehead

the referee kneels down to your eyesight as you are looking down, telling you, “you’re real injured right now, i’ll give that sheldon boy a talking to. you go home and rest, it isn’t a problem. get better soon, okay, kid?” smiling at you and patting your shoulder before he leaves

once darry is done with wiping away the blood and making sure you feel okay, he asks, “you ready to go home, kid?”

it’s really rare for him to find time off from work, so if he goes to your games then you’re really happy

you remind him of himself when he would do football, his parents and brothers would watch his games and he would feel proud

so he tries to take time off to go to your games, loves to support you and make you feel happy when you see familiar faces in the stands

always tells you to do your best in the games, congratulating you after the games even if you didn’t do particularly well

DALLAS WINSTON

dally had offered to take you to your game, your brothers were all busy and he had nothing to do

as you skate onto the rink, dally yells after you, “kick their asses, kid!” sitting down and looking to his left, spotting a soda bottle along with a pack of cigarettes

the game starts and he grabs the cigarettes, placing them in his pocket and grabbing the soda, taking a drink of it

as he watches you pass the puck to others, the other team gains the puck, you chase after the player with the puck

he holds his stick in a position to hit the puck into the goal, as he swings, you happen to be right behind him, causing you to be hit in the face

dally yells, “hey, that little shit’s stick just fuckin’ whacked her in the face, man!” looking out for you, watching you put your hands over your face in pain

the referee calls, “penalty for high sticking! sheldon, you’re on the bench for two minutes! curtis,” he pauses, looking at you, “you feel good enough to play?”

you think before answering, “yeah!” taking your hands off your face, you turn your head towards dally

as you skate closer to the stands, he asks, “you okay, kid?” you nod at him, he continues, “hit ‘em back, hard.”

you smile and nod, beginning to skate back to your side of the rink, your friends swarming you and asking if you’re okay

dally knew his parents never gave a shit to be seen with him, so he wants you to feel cared for, he’s weirdly enough your chaperone even though he’s not responsible at all

if you ever want to practice but the rink is closed, he’ll probably find a way to break in so you can work on how you play

probably gets super pissed off when the opposing team scores for no reason even if they actually deserved it

TWO-BIT MATHEWS

two-bit and his younger sister decided to support you at your hockey game

you were already playing, keith and his sister found a spot to sit in the stands

you glance over to the stands, spotting two-bit and his sister watching you, you wave and smile at the both of them, directing your attention back to the puck

as your teammate passes the puck to you, you begin to skate towards the goal, preparing to hit the puck

right as soon as you hit the puck, a player from the opposing team shoved you into the wall, chasing after the puck and therefore preventing your team from scoring

pain shoots up your back, you would for sure have bruises all over once you got your armor off

two-bit’s sister gasps behind you, “y/n! are you okay?” concerned looks on her and her brothers faces

“yeah!” you yell back, glancing at the both of them for a brief moment, skating quickly in the direction of the puck

“y/n!” your teammate says, grabbing your attention and passing the puck to you

you skate across the rink, aiming the puck into the goal and succeeding, your teammates cheering for you

standing where you hit the puck, you try to rub your back to ease the pain, failing because of the thick layers of gear

your whole team is already grouped up when one of them turns their head, skating over to you and asking if you’re okay

staring at the ground, you whimper in pain, trying to rub your back again, two-bit noticing and asking, “y/n, you terribly hurt?”

you look at him, still standing with your teammate as the referee orders, “curtis, bench! doesn’t look like you’re feeling good enough to play!”

as you get escorted to the bench by your teammate, the player who hits you skates by the stands

“hey, way to go fuck face!” two-bit yells at him, making you turn your head and laugh gently

cares about you as he cares about his little sister, he goes to all of her school events as he goes to yours and your hockey games

sometimes he’ll just go because he loves seeing the smile on you and his sisters faces when you see each other, her running up to you after your game although you’re sweaty and tired

STEVE RANDLE

steve took the day off work to watch your hockey game, you had previously told him which position you would play as, the goalie

he glances to the left of the rink, seeing you with more gear on than the other players and a different stick

he watches the opposing team, switching his attention from you and them constantly

a player from the other team has the puck, skating to where you are, attempting to score a goal

the player hasn’t slow down fast enough, hitting the puck and also throwing himself onto you in the process

both of you were on the ground, you push him off and groan, your whole body hurting

“y/n, you good?!” steve yells, you shake your head as your body aches, he stands up as your teammates skate over to you, creating a circle around you

two of them grab your hands, directing you to the bench where you are to sit and rest, as you are injured

you call out, “steve?” you look around to find him, he moves near the bench yet still in the stands

“hey, you okay kid? looks like that guy hit you pretty hard.” he asks, concerned for you and your health, wanting you to check yourself for bruises or cuts

you breathe unevenly, “my ribs hurt.” straightening out your back and trying to relax, to try making your front feel better

“you’ll be alright,” he paused, glancing over to you once again to see you calming down, “how ‘bout i take you to get ice cream after this?”

you look over to him and smile, seeing concern and worry in his eyes, nodding as your referee calls, “curtis! you’re back in!”

as you are skating back onto the rink, steve comments, “take it easy, kid. don’t wanna have to call darry.”

he goes to your games because he knows you like to have someone there to support you, so you know he cares

steve normally doesn’t care so much about about things, rather nonchalant but cares about you as if you were his sister

he’ll be the most obnoxious person ever in the stands, yelling and screaming over everyone else

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

anything for benny gecko? im quite curious!

(If it hasn't become clear, headcanon requests are presumed to be for NSFW content unless otherwise stated. Feel free to submit again if I missed the mark, Anon!)

Benny Gecko (Fallout: New Vegas) NSFW Headcanons

Benny is NOT good in bed off bat, but he's trainable. If there's one thing the man has in spades, it's self-confidence; because of that, he thinks he's a sex god with universally applicable technique that, in reality, works on about 1/10 partners. He's the poster child for "you told me 'right there' so I'm both changing angles and speeding up". You may have to slap him around a little to get what you're trying to teach him to sink in (3 INT and also he's just a dog who enjoys a little punishment), or maybe park yourself on his face until the lack of oxygen forces him to figure out how to eat you properly, but he's more than capable of learning. Be generous with the praise when he does things right and he'll never forget what you like.

Sex with him can be pretty goofy (rough/passionate, but still goofy) and littered with moments that make you both giggle, but on a bad day he can be quite punitive. Laugh at the wrong moment for any reason on a day like that and he'll turn your ass beet red before you can blink.

Benny's pretty strong according to his stats, and he definitely enjoys flexing that strength. He likes to fuck standing up against the wall for that reason; it's a cumbersome position that doesn't really feel ideal for anyone, but he can't resist the look on a partner's face when he hoists them up around his waist.

The man tries hard to keep up his "slick and reformed nomad" image, but beneath all the pomade and the Bugsy Siegel suit, he's dirty, rough around the edges. Primal. He prefers his sexual encounters to be filthy in all ways; unwashed, sweaty, pheromone-saturated filth. Likes when you're just a little overripe. Wants both of you to be completely covered in one another's bodily fluids when you're done. Spit in his mouth and he might propose right then and there (do not take this proposal seriously).

I adore the headcanon that, under the suit, Benny is covered in gang/tribe tattoos from his Boot Rider days (as well as a bevvy of scars). He's a bit self-conscious about how they make him appear at times, but he's thrilled if you're really into them.

He's a switch, but a mean dom and a petulant, bratty sub. Not every day is a BDSM-type day with Benny (you wouldn't have, for example, a long-term dom/sub dynamic with him; too many rules involved for his taste), but those days are always...trying in their own way.

HAS to have a cigarette after he fucks, preferably lying butt-ass naked in bed near an open window with a nice breeze blowing through. Will settle for a cigar, but you're gonna have to listen to him bitch about how he'd rather have a regular smoke while his soft cock is flopping everywhere. Distracting. Annoying. Very Benny Gecko.

Hard 15 minute timer from "cumming his brains out" to "so deep asleep you can't rouse him for shit". Make sure you get yours before he gets his, and don't fuck him in your bed if you don't want him to spend the night. You won't be able to get him to leave once he's snoring.

[poppy-metal]

Toxic!BalletAU!Jordan where your dance studio becomes you two's bubble.

On paper most rooms are free for all at all times but when you need some privacy you need to schedule and Jordan always needs some privacy especially since you two have been paired up for more than one performance together.

you two have been spending all your time together training and with Jordan always scheduling your time together in the evening your training has been long and tiresome often leading to the two of you exhausted on the floor.

With pauses here and there you test the water, sometimes your questions are met with dry, "shut up." Or "that's none of your buisness." But sometimes after a three hour session Jordan is exhausted enough to answer your questions.

It feels a bit like pillow talk, Jordan will be spread on the floor trying to rest for a few minutes while you'll be massaging your ankles and they'll huff before answering your questions.

You touch everything little by little, their power, if they were scared the first time they shifted, how their parents reacted or questions unrelated to that like how they came to want to become a dancer or what music they listen to.

You two feel it. Especially Jordan when the sun sets and it's been down for a few hours, the vibe has changed it's different and it's just the two of you. They'll still be banter and sarcasm but they'll be soft moments too where Jordan would check their notifications and messages before they turn around ready to start again when they see you napping on the floor and 'reluctantly' (that's what they convince themselves) let you sleep for a small 30 minutes before they gently nudge you with their foot to stand back up and go at it again.

I have so many more in store!

oh my god im melted ice cream on the floor

me when I wrote more than i expected to.

they really start showing their love language too ( i think they're heavy on physical touch and acts of service) to the point where they have this since of pride in their chest whenever you look to them expectantly, doe like eyes wide, and they present you with your protein bar. they ignore the warmth in their chest at how it feels to - to take care of you - feed you, watch you get replenished. and you start falling into this sense of comfort around them, even if there's still moments you genuinely don't know if they hate you or not, you couldn't do what you're doing with anyone else. something in you feels safe around them, despite the thorns threatening to prick you at every turn.

but it feels good to learn about them little by little. you try and be a positive person, maybe you try too hard but thats a discussion for another time, but you're suprised at the intensity of the dark emotions that come over you when you learn about their parents, the way they dont accept jordan - how they're basically the whole reason jordan doesn't shift in front of people here. it actually makes jordan laugh one day, a sharp sound - "shit - you look like a pissed off little rabbit. what, you gonna pout my parents to death?"

that leads to you huffing and shoving at their shoulders, and they actually nudge over a little, in their fem!form - and that's how it starts. a tussle, playfighting really - they just suddenly can't stop giggling at your attempts to be intimidating and you start off miffed but end up just doing it to hear them continue to laugh - because its such a beautiful sound. you think you could bottle it up. wear it around your neck forever.

eventually they pin you under them, panting a little, grinning and flushed - their longer hair fluttering in the space between you. and the giggles die down, their eyes go from mirth at your expense to something - something shockingly tender. it traps the air in your chest. you both have a moment of looking at eachothers lips, then your eyes, before they're leaning in, hungry and fast - and this is all so new - you've never been kissed by anyone - let alone a woman - and you find you're not afraid. far from it. your legs seem to spread natrually, wrapping around their slim waist, pulling them into you.

they kiss you so intensely, its ravenous really, a moan clawing its way from deep in their chest as they move to kiss along your neck - reach down and grip your thigh, yanking it higher around their hips so they can - can grind down. and you gasp at the friction of their cunt on yours - the tights you're both wearing thin enough you can feel the pressure as they drive their hips against you - mimicking - mimicking

"this is how i think about fucking you - " they say, biting at your earlobe, "all the damn time."

you whine, hands scrabbling at their back - "jordan." you gasp, "don't stop - please dont stop."

"fuuck." it comes out like a hiss, they're really rutting you into the floor now, you can feel the wetness of your cunt, of theirs, seeping together, mixing in the sheer fabric separating you both - "god, what're you doing to me." a hand sneaks up, wraps around your throat in an almost punishing manner, "haven't cum this way in ages - fuck - this little freshmen cunt -"

they're cut off, groaning, and your thighs squeeze around their hips, rocking your pelvis up to meet theirs and you hit that peak right after they do - eyes rolling back into your skull at how good it is.

they roll off you, staring up at the ceiling. a kind of dazed, content expression on their face.

and then you say, "that's never happened to me before."

its like a shudder comes down - reality crashing back. they suddenly remember you're a fucking - virgin. and they dont get attached. fuck. especially too people they're working closely with. that familiar panic, panic at this becoming - a thing. they sit up.

"yeah, well. now we can put this - whatever the fuck it was - sexual tension, i guess, behind us. no more missteps."

you feel your heart crack a little. "um, jordan?"

they glance at you as they get their things, and its like weeks of progress has melted away. they're already on their phone, fingers flying across the screen. they shift back into their masc!form, running a hand through their hair as they stop beside you.

they look down at you, something like pity in their eyes, and it makes you sick.

"look freshie." they sigh, "dont make it a thing, okay? we got caught up, we fucked around to let off some steam, this kinda shit happens all the time. bright and early tomorrow, I'll see you then. dont be fucking late."

you try not to cry as you pack your things - alone in the studio. funny how you thought just thirty minutes ago - that you felt safe with them. now you'd been pricked by the thornes, and fuck, if the wound didn't hurt.

outside, jordan kicks over a trashcan. probably way too aggressively. they run both hands through their hair, and actually debate going back inside. taking it all back. because that had been something raw, and real, and vulnerable. but they dont. not for the first time, they harden their heart towards you, and vow to not get close enough to the flame to let it burn them again.

[n3xii]

Rest of October- what will happen?

Hey, havent done a pick a card in a while, today's post is about the remaining days of October, the general energy coming towards you and what you can expect in money, relationships, etc. relationships can pertain to any relationship, romantic or friendships or familial it doesnt matter. Close your eyes and let your intuition guide you to your sweater.

PILE ONE

general- justice reversed, 5 of cups reversed

I feel like the next 15 or so days is about recovering from something unfair, you may have delt with dishonesty or inconsistent or otherwise shitty behavior from someone recently and the next few days are about getting over it essentially. This doesnt mean that your feelings arent valid however, it just means you're realizing that it's not worth it to remain upset over something you can't control, you're in the phase of learning from the situaiton instead of being bitter about it.

relationships- queen of pentacles reversed, 3 of wands reversed

this message can pertain to any relationship in your life that resonates with this, but i feel like this is speaking to a situation where setbacks and delays are occurring due to smothering, over protectiveness and control issues. the next 15 days needs to focus on giving people space (if you're the one being like this) or setting boundaries with the person in your life who is trying to restrict you. I think this over protective, contorlling comes from a place of love and nurturing, but ultimately leads to blockages in the relationship. the 3 of wands is a card about personal development and growth, and this person who is trying to ''protect' you is hindering your growth by being nurturing to an excessive point. this could be you to someone else, this could be a parent, it could be your partner, your boss, it could be anyone. this excessive protectiveness and controlling nature is hindering personal development.

career/money- 4 of cups, page of wands reversed

you're feeling bored and uninspired with your job, things in this sector of your life feel dull and stagant and I think you're craving somehting new and exciting. Consider finding a new position at your job or a new job entirely if possible. the page of wands is a person who needs room to grow and things to explore in order to feel stimulated- but im seeing you feel stagnant because that space to grow isnt there. doing the same shit everyday and not being able to learn new skills and try new roles is killing your spirit. learning a new skill or trade may be a good option for you as well.

PILE TWO

general- the sun, ace of wands

the next 15 days is about happiness and motivation. I think this is pointing to feeling in a good mood, feeling inspired and energetic about your actions, I think you could be trying something new or learning something new and it has you feeling optimistic about the possiblities this new skill, knowledge etc can give you.

relationships- judgement, high priestess reversed

you're gonna have to make an assessment or judgement call when it comes to your connection with someone and this will require you to actually listen to your inner voice. Relying on the wisdom and opinions of other people may be tempting but your intuition already has all the answers there for you, you just have to access them through trusting yourself. You can trust your own evaluations and decisions when it comes to your relationships, you know more than you think.

career/money- page of pentacles reversed, 4 of pentacles reversed

you're being impractical and reckless with your money/resources and i think it stems partially from impatience. saving money may be annoying but the longterm rewards of what you can afford will be well worth it. in the next 15 days, resist the urge to make impulse purchases just because you feel like it. be patient and keep your short term goals in mind when its come to how you spend your money, does it align with your budget or do you even have a budget?

PILE THREE

general- 7 of swords reversed, the chariot reversed

I think the rest of October is about you needing to be honest about the direction of your life and how you've contributed to where you are right now. I think you've been deceiving yourself and making yourself feel powerless, unmotivated and stagnant. lies have kept you from seeing your own potential and ability to take back control over your life, the chariot reversed is the energy of being in the backseat of the car, being controlled by wherever the car takes you. but the truth is you're the one in control. Breaking past self deception will help you realize how much willpower and direction you actually have.

relationships- the fool reversed and the ace of pentacles

I think when it comes to romance you wont be feeling particularly spontaneous in the next 2 weeks or so, and more focused on the matieral, finance or practical sector of your life. if not that, you're just not in the mood for games, you want someone who is gonna bring action to their words and not unpredictability. your patience seems low for people in your life who arent dependable or reliable.

money/career- strength reversed, queen of wands

when it comes to career, I think you're in this energy of trying to increase your self confidence and esteem in order to feel more comfortable in the spotlight, more comfortable in leveling up your responsibilities and more deserving of opportunities outisde of your comfort zone.

[hisaame]

hi hi! Could you do a Scaramouche x fem!reader with angst to comfort? Specifically with reader having issues on how they view their body?? ((Like their insecure)) preferably modern au plss

first time writing on request yippie!! hii and ty, i hope this is what you've asked for!! <3 also im stillll new to writing and stuff, so im praying im good for now!

╰』ˋˋ"What do you mean you aren't pretty?" «

ˎˋ╰⪼Scaramouche x fem!reader ˎˋ

[angst with comfort] — modern au,,,

『warnings: body negativity, cursing, body touch, reader uses she/her pronouns, reader being like half naked (NO SPICY STUFF THO), idk what else to add im not good at warnings.... 』

— Scaramouche simply couldnt understand.

How could you, a pretty girl with the body of a goddess, possibly think you look less than he thinks?

It was in the afternoon, you had invited Scaramouche to come over to your dorm, since it was the weekends and you had no subject to study, you finished two exams last week. So you wanted to have a nice day off, where your lover would be there.

But before that you decided to take a shower, u have already been outside with your friends Hu Tao and Yanfei, spending time with them since they were from another school.

You hated your bathroom. Why? Because the mirror there was huge.

Slowly taking off your clothes, its almost impossible to ignore your reflection. Its there no matter where you turn—seriously, its like they made the dorms' bathrooms like this on purpose, just to make you feel even worse about yourself as if before wasnt already enough.

You cringe at yourself once you took off your clothes. You should hurry up in the shower—but something made you stay in front of the mirror, criticizing yourself with your own thoughts. Turning a bit to the side to look at other various parts of your body, finding nothing decent or enough for yourself. You sighed, you should be positive right now, school isnt in the way and you should be relaxing.

With a glare at your own reflection, before getting into the shower quickly, turning on some warm water. Showers should be relaxing, but as you washed your body, using soap, making there be various white bubbles on your skin, they smell quite nice, and are certainly fun to play with.

But the feeling of your own hands on your body distracted you. The way you felt under your own touch, it somewhat... Disgusts you.

Finally—once you were done with showering, taking a towel and wrapping it around your body, shivering as the cool air hit against your wet skin. You dried off your hair, brushed it out, trying not to stare at the mirror too much. Maybe you're just too judgemental. Maybe you're not as bad as you think?

After you were done with your hair—you must not have noticed, but there was a sudden knock at your bathroom door. Then it opened up to reveal Scaramouche. Well, he peeked through it first to check was he invading any privacy.

"Damn, this was the last place i was gonna check. I came here like five minutes ago." Scaramouche sighed in relief to seeing you, not at all bothered by the fact you're only in a towel. He pressed a kiss to your lips as a greeting, ruffling your half dry hair.

Though, you looked uncomfortable. Not with the fact your lover had come into the bathroom while you were in just a towel, but the fact your body was pretty exposed to him, and you thought, what id he judged you? Maybe not out loud, but what if he was thinking about it?

Noticing your discomfort, Scaramouches eyes widened for a split second at his realization, then spoke up, "i can leave if you want—to wait for u to get changed." , he gave you a half smile. But you told him its alright. Why? You wanna just push him away.

At your answer, he smiled softly, nodding. Maybe you just needed him here, after a hard week. What he thought was different than what you thought. Seeing this as a nice opportunity, he went behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, his chin on your shoulder as he gave you a goofy, lazy smirk, looking at the mirror where you two can be seen. Maybe you should've kicked him out...

"You always look so pretty after showering—like all clean, pretty, and u smell nice." Scaramouche mumbled, as if shy to admit. "wait i said pretty twice. Replace one of those words with 'gorgeous' then." You couldn't tell if he was flirting with you or genuinely fucked up with his words.

But the way you looked at him with almost surprise at what he said, his eyebrow raised as his expression changed.

"Why do you look like i fucking said i discovered the moon and flew to mars? Dont you know youre pretty?" He said, his usual personality showing. He doesnt exactly like being all mushy, but for you, he's a sucker. So he's nicer...

Maybe it was finally time to admit it. He was your lover anyway, and you trusted him. You nodded slowly, then immediately looked away, regretting what you just did. That... Shocked Scaramouche! You, not pretty? Were you high!?

".. Huh? Did someone tell you you're not pretty? Ill fuck them up. Who was it?" He narrowed his eyes, his embrace around your waist tightening. His protective side definitely was showing. But once he didnt get a reply, seeing the way you frowned and refuses to look at the mirror, he realized the situation.

"... [y/n]? Dont tell me you tell yourself that..." Scaramouche sighed. Figuring you werent comfortable with the mirror, he turned you around, so you can face him again. You even thought he was prettier than you will ever be. Well, he's here to prove you're better than you think!

"[y/n]. I know i dont say this a lot, but you're gorgeous to me. God, these words sound so cliche.. But its true. You're the most gorgeous, pretty, beautiful—fuck, what else—cute, adorable girl i have ever met. Okay?" Scaramouche stared into your eyes. He definitely wasnt the best at comfort, but he wants to try his best—for you.

Then he softly smiled at you. "Hey, lets get you dressed up and we can talk about how magnificent you really are?", he kissed your nose, hos face flushing immediately right after as he lead you out of the bathroom, talking to you along the way.

"You may have your flaws and all that, but thats what makes you, you. You know? I like your flaws." Scaramouche admitted, blushing like an idiot when he looked away once he told you what he thought.

Soon enough, you were dressed, dragged to bed by Scaramouche who quite literally forced you to be the little spoon this time. You could barely hear the tv over him talking about how pretty he thinks you are.

Yeah, if anyone even dared to even joke about you being 'ugly', he's getting suspended because of reasons you know what happens.

♡

[cissyenthusiast010155]

Be Mine ~Pepper Stark Nee Potts xFem Babysitter!reader

Babysitter!reader for Morgan Stark after Tony’s death; a sex starved Pepper and Reader end up fucking while Morgan’s asleep.

Mommy…Master List

Request & Prompt-List

Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!, age gap (all legal), smut, eating out, face sitting, smutty smut smut, etc…

Enjoy (;

You were the babysitter for the one and only Morgan Stark.

A few months after Tony’s death when things had started to come back to a rhythm, Pepper had realized that she needed someone to watch Morgan on days where she worked late. (because as kind hearted Happy was, she just needed a second reassurance).

Pepper had found you on a babysitting website. You were in school, in your twenties, looking for a side hustle in babysitting.

Sh had set up a time for you and Morgan to meet, and you two had immediately clicked. And it just went off from there.

You would pick Morgan up from school and spend the weeknights with her until Pepper came home from her job.

It was really a lovely gig. You didn’t do it for the money anymore; you did it because you cared about Morgan and Pepper.

Tonight, Pepper had gone to a gala. It ended up going longer than anyone could have anticipated. You had put Morgan to bed and were desperately trying to stay awake on the couch.

Around 1am, you heard the click of the door. Your head shot up from its half asleep position.

“Ms. Potts! How was your evening?” You asked with a slight yawn.

But you couldn’t even register her words… All you saw was her body. What she was wearing. The way the dress clung to her curves deliciously…

“Love? How did Morgan go down?” Pepper interrupted your intrusive thoughts and staring.

You blushed and sheepishly replied, “Really well. Right at 8, Ms. Potts.”

Pepper scoffed at your formality, “Please Dear, call me Pepper.” She exclaimed as she joined you on the couch with a sigh.

You both sat in silence.

“Long night?” You spoke out.

Pepper sighed again, “Yea. Sorry for making you stay here so late…”

“Hmm, don’t worry about it. I like being here.” You hummed in response.

You looked up at Pepper who was meeting your gaze.

“Ok well, I guess I better go.” You declared, getting up and walking past Pepper.

But before you could get far, Pepper grabbed your wrist.

“What If… you didn’t leave?” She whispered.

Your eyes widened and your mouth went dry.

Pepper tugged you closer to her, but you tripped and ended up falling on top of her.

“Shit! Im so sorry…” you immediately apologized.

But all you were met with was a pair of dark, lustful eyes and a smirk on Peppers face.

“I don’t know… I’m ok with this, if you are…” she whispered, grazing her lips against yours.

“Yes…” you immediately murmured, and Pepper immediately closed the gap smashing her lips against yours.

You both moaned into the heated kiss, your hips bucking into Pepper’s lap needily.

Pepper met your bucking with hip thrusts of her own, eliciting more whispers and moans from the both of you.

“Shit, Morgan.” Pepper exclaimed in a hushed tone, “We need to be quiet.”

You nodded eagerly, already getting down to the ground and on your knees.

Pepper muffled a moan at the sight of you and your actions.

You made away with her dress swiftly and spread her legs out for your access.

It was your turn to stifle a moan at how soaked Pepper’s underwear was…

You ripped it off, getting impatient, and immediately attached your tongue to her clit.

Pepper had to bite her lip to keep herself from screaming in pleasure.

It had been ages since she’d felt so good…

You greedily lapped through her folds, not holding back.

Pepper met your tongue fucking with her hips bucking up to meet your tongue.

In a matter of minutes, you could feel her walls fluttering in desperation.

“Fuck! I’m gonna cum…!” Pepper cried through her hand muffling her voice, as her head was thrown back in pleasure.

At this, you added your thumb to her clit and continued to ravage her pussy.

Pepper did her best to muffle her screams as her orgasmic high crashed through her entire body.

You felt her walls clenched around your tongue desperately, and you lapped up all her juices happily.

By the time you had helped Pepper down from her high, her breathing was erratic and her legs were shaky.

You climbed back into her lap and connected your lips to hers once again.

She moaned at the taste of herself on your lips.

Pepper than shifted so that she was leaning flat on couch and you were on top of her still connected to her lips.

“Sit on my face?” She breathlessly asked.

Your breath fled you at her words. You bit your lip and nodded eagerly.

“yes please…” you moaned in a hush tone.

You quickly stood up and undressed yourself, taking your short and underwear off. Pepper was drooling at the sight.

You then carefully swung one leg on the other side of Peppers face, so that you were straddling her.

Before you could do anything else, Pepper was already pulling your body down toward her tongue, which started to graze your soaked folds.

You spasmed from the first lap through your cunt, crying out in pleasure.

“Shhh, love. Try and be quiet for me?” Pepper cooed in between tonguing the entrance to your aching pussy.

You nodded bashfully and needily, bucking your hips into her face instinctually craving more.

“More…” you whimpered.

Pepper smirked and then dove into your throbbing cunt with her tongue.

You rode Peppers face desperately, whimpering and mewling her name and a string of obscenities.

Your hips jerked to meet the pace Pepper was tongue fucking your Tight hole.

“Shit! Im… Im—” You whimpered, losing your coherence.

“Cum for me, love…” Pegger panted in between lapping through your folds.

You followed her words like they were command, and came, riding through your high on her face.

Riding out your high, you collapsed on Pepper completely out of breath with a grin on your face.

Pepper chuckled and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time…” she panted.

You blushed at her confession, “Me too…”