#imagine letting stereotypes stop you from liking fiction.

[fairyb1tes]

The discourse about black reader / urban fics i try to ignore it and stay out of it, but i promise you, honey, you're not different for not liking or reading black reader fics.. you want something different? go ahead and write tht shit yourself instead of complaining. at the end of the day? you're yapping and down talking other black women's creativity and hard work ion like that at all. it's always better to move in silence. this is fiction, and I think it's a heavy YOU problem and not that deep at Alll. let mfs write their silly little fanfictions damn.

[bbrissonn]

𝐚𝐥𝐥-𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 - 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐢

summary: in which no matter how much you tried, you were never good enough for him and you decide it was time for things to get messy within the hockey team

disclaimer: english is not my first language and this is not proofread so please excuse any errors and if any words are missing add them in your head :) also this is a work of fiction, this doesn’t reflect how these boys act in real life, and it isn’t how i imagine them acting 

warnings: angst, swearing , not proofread  

pairing: luca fantili x reader

wc: 5.4k (including lyrics)

a/n: i gave some guys on the team a girlfriend, completely random name so don't go trying to find them lol

guts masterlist

I am light as a feather, I’m as stiff as a board

I pay attention to things that most people ignore

And I’m alright with the movies

That make jokes ‘bout senseless cruelty, that’s for sure

And I am built like a mother and a total machine

I feel for your every little issues, I know just what you mean

And I make light of the darkness

I’ve got sun in my motherfuckin’ pocket, best believe

Yeah, you know me, I

You tried, you really did. You took note of every little things he’d mention, hoping that it would be useful in the long run, hoping he’d noticed how much you cared about him. You waited and waited and waited, but it never happened. All the efforts you made to be the perfect girlfriend for him always went unnoticed, brushed to the side. 

You always made sure you looked your best whenever you’d go to his game, wanting to fit the role of the stereotype hockey girlfriend, even though you were far from it. Your body wasn’t as slim and fit as the others and you didn’t have a model like face, but Luca always though you were perfect. You didn’t believe most of time, there were hundreds of girl, prettier girls, that would jump at the occasion to be his girlfriend, so why had he chosen you? 

You went to every single home game, even if it’d meant you’d have to stay up late to do homework, you even went to the games at Michigan State. You were always there to support him, but he was never there for you. You knew it was hard for him to always be free, not having access to his phone for a solid three hours during the afternoon, and when he’d get back to his dorm, he’d fall asleep right away. You never really saw him much during the days, with him having all his classes in the morning, while yours were mainly in the afternoon, nights were the only time you could see each other. 

Even when you spent time together, it was rarely alone. He was close to all his teammates and apparently spending all afternoon together wasn’t enough for them and they always needed to spend their nights together. You two barely ever got alone time, but you tried not to think about it too much since Luca was always more focused on you than his teammates sprawled around his shared dorm room. 

His teammates liked you, you were nice to all of them the moment you met them and they could see how much Luca liked you. Some of them didn’t really understand what he saw in you, something you wish you didn’t know as you overheard them one night during a get together at the senior house. 

You had been outside for a while now, talking to your mom on the phone as you walked around the small backyard of the senior house. Luca was with you for the first couple of minutes of your call, talking to your mom a bit before heading back inside and letting you have alone time with her. As you started making your way back to the backdoor, you saw a couple of figures standing there, nothing unsual. You were planning on just walking past them, smiling at them and letting them go along with their conversation until you heard your name. 

“Wait, who are we talking about again?” Dylan asked the others, before taking a sip of his beer. 

“Y/n.” You heard Johnny answer, and you stopped dead in your tracks. You knew you shouldn’t, it was wrong, but you couldn’t help it. They couldn’t see you since you were on the side of the porch, and no lights were they, you were like a ghost. 

“Oh, yeah, totally agree with you man. Don’t get me wrong, she’d nice and all, but like she barely ever talks.” The Duke boy said, making a couple other guys agree with him. 

“Exactly, what does he even see in her, anyways?” One of them said, making your smile drop. 

“She’s just shy, doesn’t like big groups, that’s all. Once you get to know her, she’s always talking, it’s great ‘cause Luca leaves me alone now. She’s makes him happy, that’s all the really matters.” You recognized Adam say, making your smile grow a little. Over the last six months, you had grown quite close to your boyfriend’s little brother, and hearing him defend you warmed your heart. 

“Dude, all we’re saying is he could do better.” 

“Whatever, I’m going back inside.” Adam said, and soon you heard the door open and all the figures disappeared. You stood there for a while, thinking about everything that you had heard. Your feelings being hurt a little before shaking it all off and walking back inside, quickly finding your boyfriend, who was standing with his brother. 

You never told Luca, or any of them that you had heard their conversation. You knew Luca would get mad at his teammates, and that was the last thing you wanted. You did realize that after that night, Adam started being even nicer to you, always telling you how happy you made your brother, and how thankful he was that you were the one making him this happy. He truly felt like your own little brother in a way.

But something in you changed that day, whenever you’d be having the smallest interaction with any of them, there would always be a voice in the back of your mind reminding you of that conversation. So, you didn’t make much effort to become good friends with any of them, clearly most of you didn’t even think you should be dating their teammate so why would they want to be friends with you? 

Luca wasn’t exactly happy that you weren’t that close to anyone, but you were with Adam, so he considered it a win. He always reminded himself that just because his teammates were his best friend didn’t mean they had to be yours too, he just happy none of them hated you. 

As time went by, you’d now notice some of the weird looks his teammates would give themselves whenever you’d hug Luca after their game, or when you’d be with him at a party and his arms was always around you. But you didn’t let it bother you, you were happy in your relationship, you didn’t need the opinion of other’s, and honestly, they didn’t really have a right to be judging two people for being in love with one another. 

You didn’t know whether or not your boyfriend knew about how some of his best friends felt about your relationship, but you really hoped he didn’t. If he did, it would break you, that he knew what his friends were saying and thinking, but didn’t defend you like his brother had, or that he hadn’t told you about it. 

That all changed one cold night in February.

You were currently standing outside of the Yost arena, Luca had texted you barely minutes before telling you to go wait outside for him. You didn’t really understand why, considering how cold it was, but you did anyways. No one else was around, all the spectators had left almost an hour ago, and all the other girlfriends were waiting inside, in the warmth of the arena. 

“Hey.” You heard your boyfriends voice, making you turn around with a bright smile. 

“Hi, baby. You played amazing!” You told him, rushing over to his warm body and hiding in his arms. The boy chuckled a bit before wrapping his arms around you. 

“I need to talk to you about something.” He mumbled after a couple of seconds, making you pull away from his body. Your hands reached down to his arms, that had fallen from your shoulders, your mittens covered hands holding his bare ones. 

“What’s up, loves?” You asked, only to be met with a sigh from him. Your smile dropped right away, what was going on? 

“I need you to know that I am sorry, okay?” You nodded slightly, confused as to why he was saying that. “I think it’d be better if we weren’t together anymore.”

“What?” 

“I just- I need to focus on hockey, and school.” 

“Oh.” You whispered, your hands letting go of his and falling next to your body. A heavy sigh left your mouth as you tried your hardest not to cry. “O-okay.” 

“So, we’re good?” His question broke you. Not you weren’t, you were far from good. The boy you had fallen in love with in early September had just broken up with you, how were you supposed to be okay with that?

“We’re good.” You lied. Luca smile brightly before giving you and small hug, and before you knew it, he was gone. You were left all alone outside in the freezing cold as he headed back to his friends, ready to enjoy their night, while you were left heartbroken. 

Maybe his friends were right after all…

Forgive and I forget

I know my age and I act like it

Got what you can’t resist

I’m a perfect all-American

The next week was hell, everywhere you went, you’d see one of his teammates. It was like they had all mutually agreed to just be everywhere you were, follow you around just to make you remember every single second of every day that your relationship with Luca was over. 

But clearly he hadn’t even told him, the text from Adam asking if you two had gotten into a fight since you hadn’t been to their dorm in a couple of days, and Luca was talking about everything but you. Your feelings were hurt a little, that he wasn’t even acting like your break-up fazed him at all, like everything in his life was perfect. It hurt even more that you had to be the one to break to news to his brother, scared that Adam would choose to break off all links of communication the two of you had. 

Luckily for you, he didn’t, if anything, to him it just gave you an extra reason to become even closer to him. He knew how much you loved his brother and how much Luca loved you, so he truly didn’t understand why his older brother had done it in the first place. Just because you and Luca weren’t together anymore, didn’t mean you had to lose him too, were his exact words. You knew in that moment that you had a real friend in Adam, one that you wanted to keep for the rest of your life. 

You hadn’t gone to any hockey game after that, no matter how much Adam begged, you weren’t ready to go back to the place where your relationship ended. But when the team had made it to the semi-finals of the big ten championship, facing off again Ohio State, you knew you had to be there. Even though you weren’t physically at the games, you were still watching from home, your heart dropping every time Luca’s name would be mentioned. 

Being back felt weird, it was a place you had grown so fond off, watching your boyfriend and your so-called friends play the sports they love with each other, befriending all the other girlfriends, it was truly special. But it was so different now, you felt like you didn’t belong here anymore. Adam had tried to convince you to seat in the same seat Luca always had for you, but you didn’t want to, not wanting to face all the other girlfriends yet. 

You came with your best friends, so you wouldn’t be alone, and made sure to be near the back rows, you knew the boys always liked to spot people in the crowds, and you didn’t want them to know you were here. You had made Adam promise not to tell anyone you were here, and that you’d wait for him after the game in your car all the way at the end of the parking lot. He was the only one on the team you wanted to see tonight, you came here for him and only him, and because your best friends wouldn’t shut up about going. 

Unknown to you, Luca had spotted you the minute he stepped onto the ice. He hated to admit it, but his eyes still searched for you in the crowd, only he was always met with disappointment when he would not find you. Tonight was different, you were here. Part of him felt like he should be happy you were, or even sad, seeing as it was the first he’d seen you since the break-up. But he wasn’t, no he was angry. Why? He didn’t know. 

After the game ended, with Adam getting two goals and two assists, your friends had gone home right away, tired from all the yelling they had done during the night. So, you waited alone in your car, making sure to park right under a street light so Adam could spot you easily, and so you could see if any weirdos were approaching. 

Luca had left before his brother, Johnny and Gavin walking next to him as they walked out of Yost, and that’s when he saw your car. He knew he should’ve just ignored it, kept walking home, but he couldn’t. He knew you were here for his brother and him only, Adam had told him after Luca corned him after the warm ups. The right thing was to just leave you alone, pretend he didn’t see you, but his legs were moving faster than his brain was. 

The loud knock on your window made you jump, yelping at bit at the sound. You looked to your left, only to be met with an angry Luca. You bit your lip slightly before rolling down your window enough so you two could hear each other. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He asked. His tone was harsh and mean, something you had never heard from him before. 

“I am here for Adam, so if you don’t mind, I’d like for you to step away from my car and leave me alone.” You answered him, matching his tone. If he wanted to be a bitch to you after he broke up with you, then he better be expecting the same energy back. 

“You shouldn’t be here.” 

“And who are you to be telling me this? Last time I checked, this is a public parking lot, so I have every right to be here.” You said, you knew that wasn’t what he meant, but you didn’t care. He had no right to walk over here, and talk to you like this. 

“You know that’s not what I fucking meant.” 

“Am I not allowed to cheer for my school? Is that illegal now, Luca?” You said harshly. Luca’s eyes were staring into yours, and you could tell he was holding back from yelling, which scared you a little. 

“You have some nerves-” 

“Oh, I have some nerves? You broke up with me, Luca, not the other way around, and your stupid if you think that’s gonna stop me from coming to see Adam play. I am not here because I wanted to see, if that’s what you’re thinking. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for Adam. So, get whatever stick you have shoved up your ass out of it and leave me alone.” You said firmly before closing your window and going back on your phone. Luca started knocking over and over on your window, but you didn’t move. You were done with this for the night. After about a minute or two, the boy ended up sending you a text, making you roll your eyes. 

Luca 

ur so fucking petty omg, grow the fuck up and get out of your car

You let out a scoff before turning to look at him with a ‘are you serious’ face. If you were being petty, you didn’t even know what word was describing him at the moment. Thankfully, Adam arrived and the two of them began bickering like little children until the older boy eventually walked away, not before sending you a death glare, and the younger one joined you in your car. 

You started driving immediately, neither of you talked, but you feel Adam’s gaze on you every once in a while. This was exactly why you didn’t want to come to the games before, something was bound to go wrong. 

“I am sorry.” He mumbled after a couple of minutes as the car was stopped at a red light. When you turned your head to look over at him, his eyes were already looking in your direction. 

“It’s whatever. He’s an asshole.” 

I am light as a feather, I’m as fresh as the air

Coca-Cola bottles that I only use to curl my hair

I got class and integrity

Just like a goddamn Kennedy, I swear

With love to spare, I

About a week later, you were laying in bed, your laptop on your lap as you watched the team celebrate their win. Adam had played wonderfully and you couldn’t be prouder of him. Your heart still dropped a little every time the commentators would mention Luca, and even more when they showed the boys after the game. 

You knew it was wrong, you shouldn’t be thinking this way, but you couldn’t help it. He looked so good with his slightly damp hair, the wide smile on his face as he hugged all of his best friends making you smile as well. But you quickly reminded yourself of what he had done and said, making you close your laptop in a heartbeat. 

You then sent a text to Adam, congratulating him for their victory before going to bed. Well, you just laid in bed in the dark, your phone’s screen being the only source of light. Adam answered you almost an hour later, thanking you and saying he’d call you the next morning. You went to sleep not too long after answering him, wishing him a good night and a safe flight home. 

It was almost noon when the younger Fantili boy called you the next day, you could tell he had gone to bed very late, well early this morning. His voice was still a little stuffy like he had just woken up, making you giggle. The two of you chated for a while before he informed you the hockey team was throwing a party that was pretty much open to all students. He hadn’t invited you directly, but made sure to state very clearly that you were always welcomed if you wanted to stop by for a bit. 

You almost laughed at his words, he was a little delusional if he though you’d like the spend the night with your drunk ex who’d probably be making out with a girl the whole time. He was a little sad when you told him you probably wouldn’t come, but he understood, especially after whatever Luca had said to you last week. 

Weirdly enough though, as the clock hit seven at night, you were standing in your bathroom, getting ready for said party. Why? Revenge. You knew deep down what you were about to do was fucked up, but you didn’t care. They deserved it, all of them, Luca more than the other, but they still did. All those people who pretended to be your friend, only to act like you didn’t even exist the moment you and Luca broke up. Not to mention that conversation you over heard was constantly replaying in your head since your break-up. Yeah, they deserved it. 

Realistically, your plan wasn’t that mean, you’d just be ruining a night celebrating a victory they had worked so hard for during  the whole season. You had gotten some information through Adam that the boys always “shit talked” some of the other girlfriends, of course without mentioning what you had heard from them. Long story short, at least one of them all had a problem with someone’s girlfriend, but they never said anything to the boyfriends. Pretty fake in your opinion, because truth be told, they weren’t really brothers like they always said, they didn’t like some at least. 

When you walked into the senior house, the place wasn’t that full, but this wasn’t any surprise to you considering it had started almost four hours ago already and most people had probably went home by now. Finding Adam was pretty easy, he was in the kitchen refilling his cup when you gently tapped his shoulder. A wide smile appeared on his face when his eyes met yours and his arms quickly wrapped around your waist. 

“You came?” He asked surprised as the two of you pulled away and he grabbed an empty clean cup for you. 

“Got a little bored, I guess.” You told him, filling your cup with water. You hadn’t came here to get drunk out of your mind like all the others here, you came here with an endgame. 

“Well ‘m glad you did. I think I saw that girl you always talk about from your English class, you-” 

“Cool, I’ll go find her!” You lied before walking away from him. Honestly, you didn’t really care that she was here, your eyes not bothering to find her as you walked through the house, spotting the group of girlfriends immediately. They were all chatting between them, but quickly stopped when they realized you were standing there. 

“Oh, please, don’t let my presence disturb your little conversation.” You said with a smirk, only making all of them look at you with weird looks. 

“What’re you doing here?” Ethan’s girlfriend, Hailey, asked. The two of you were never really close, same with Nolan’s girlfriend, Taylor. 

“I just really wanted to say how it’s so cute that you’re all able to be friends with each other and like one another, unlike all the guys. Real cute.” 

“The fuck does that mean?” This time it was Jacob’s girlfriend, Bianca, who spoke. You looked over at her, sending a massive grin before answering. 

“I am just saying, some of them are real good at pretending to be your friends, but then go shit talk about you to each other.” You said, before showing them the text message Adam had sent you. It clearly stated that they all talked about the other guys’ girlfriends badly, but never in front of whoever they were dating. Clearly just showing that they’re “we’re brothers” thing they’d always say whenever a new girlfriend was introduced was complete bullshit. 

“How do we know it’s not fake?” 

“It happened to me too. Heard a couple of them talking about me outside one night. Go ask your boyfriends if you don’t believe me.” You shrugged before walking away from them. A smirk was plastered on your face as you stood outside, sipping on your water, knowing the girls were confronting the boys at the same moment. 

You were standing outside for a couple of minutes before Adam joined you, giving you a stern look.

“What’d you do?” 

“Nothing.” You said, your smirk only growing as you looked inside, the house now empty of all the strangers. The only people left were the players and their girlfriends, who all looked like they were not having a pleasant conversation. Well, that was until all the guys started yelling at each other. 

“Y/n.” Adam mumbled sternly, making you roll your eyes. 

“I just told them the truth. About how you all talk shit about them behind their backs, but then none of you have the guts to say it to each other. I mean, why would they right, you couldn’t tell me or Luca.” Suddenly, you found yourself angry at the boy in front of you. He had let both you and Luca that your couple was loved by all of them, let you believe they were all your friends. His face turned white at your words, only making you scoff. 

“Y/n…”

“It’s pathetic really, all that bullshit about you guys being like brothers, but then you pull some shit like this.” You cut him off. Right as Adam was about to say something else, the sliding door behind you opened and your body was pulled inside the house.

Forgive and I forget

I know my age and I act like it

Got what you can’t resist

I’m a perfect all-American Bitch

With perfect all-American lips

And perfect all-American hips

I know my place

I know my place and this is it

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Someone asked as you now stood infront of everyone, all the guys looking at you with angry eyes, while the girls all hugged each other, some of them crying. 

“I think the real question here is, what the fuck is wrong with all of you? Talk shit behind our backs and then acting like your our friends five minutes later. If you don’t like someone, don’t fucking pretend like you do and then shit talk them when they can hear you.” You spat, your eyes looking between all of them until you spotted Luca, who was standing all alone in a corner. “Hoping that your “brother’s” goes to shit ‘cause you don’t like who they’re dating. Seriously, how old are you? How insecure of yourself do you have to be to say things like this?” 

The house was silent after, all the girls were nodding at your words. The boys, well at least the guilty ones, all looked at the ground, while the innocent ones looked angry and pissed, but not at you anymore, at each other. 

When none of them said anything for a solid minutes, you just scoffed and made your way out of the house. You had done what you came here to do. You started walking down the sidewalk, back towards your dorm, when you heard someone call out your name. You turned around, only to see Luca chasing after you. 

“I didn’t know, I swear-” 

“I know you didn’t, Luca.” You cut him off with a soft smile. 

“I didn’t break up with you because of them. I really like you, I really do. You’re amazing, Y/n. But, I just… I don’t want a relationship right now.” He explained, your smile turning into a sad one. 

“I get it. I want you to be happy, Lu, and if that means us not being together, then I’m okay with it.” It pained you to say it, but it was true. All you wanted for the boy was to be happy, and if that meant you having to leave his life, you were okay with it. 

“‘M not saying never, though. The way I feel about you, I’ve never felt this way for anyone before. Like… I don’t how to explain it-”

“Right person, wrong time?” You asked with a slight smirk on his face, making the boy in front of you smile slightly. 

“Yeah.” 

“Let me know whenever the right time comes, yeah?” You asked softly, the boy nodding slightly before resting his forehead against yours. 

“I’m sorry about how I broke up with you, you deserved a better explanation.” He whispered, closing his eyes as he let his body relax. Your right hand moved up, cupping his cheek and you could feel him lean into your touch. 

“It’s okay, Lulu.” 

“But it’s not. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have done it that way. And I shouldn’t have came to your car and talked to you like that. I am so sorry, baby.” He said, as snow started falling from the sky. You could tell how deeply he meant his words, his voice cracking slightly. 

“Hey, look at me.” You whispered, gently tapping his cheek that you were still holding. After a couple of seconds his eyes opened and stared right back at yours. “It’s okay. It’s in the past.”

“You should hate me.” 

“I don’t think I could ever hate you, Luca.” You admitted, bitting your lip gently as the boy smiled down at you. “I really need to go home.” 

“I’ll walk you.” 

“It’s alright. I think they need you more than I do.” You said, nodding towards the senior house, making Luca sigh a bit. 

“Always have to clean up your mess, don’t I?” He joked, making you giggle slightly. 

“I’ll see you around, Lu.” You mumbled before pressing a kiss to his other cheek and walking away from him. The Fantili boy stood there for a bit, a smile on his face as he watched you make your way back to your dorm. Once you disappeared at the end of the street, the boy turned around and slowly started making his way back to the house. 

When he walked in, all the girls were gone, and the boys were now just all yelling at each other. Some were trying to calm the tension that was rising in the room, but didn’t succeed. Only, when Luca walked in, the room went quiet and everyone looked at him. Luca’s eyes found Adam’s, and the younger boy immediately knew what had happened out there, well almost. He for sure thought they had gotten back together, but he was close enough. 

“God, don’t tell me you got back with her?” Johnny said harshly, making Luca’s smile flatten as he looked over to his “best friend”. 

“Why do you care? Last time I check, who I date isn’t any of your business.” Luca sassed, making his younger brother smile slightly. 

“She ruined the night!” One of the guys called out, making Luca roll his eyes. 

“She said the truth. Maybe if you guys hadn’t talked behind their backs, none of this would’ve happened. I’m going home.” The boy mumbled before leaving the senior household once again, Adam following behind him. 

“So, are you guys back together?” The forward asked after a couple of minutes of them walking back to their dorm. 

“No. But, in the future we will, I know it.”

All the time

I’m grateful all the time

I’m sexy and I’m kind

I’m pretty when I cry

Oh, all the time

I’m grateful all the time (Greatful all the fucking time)

I’m sexy and I’m kind

I’m pretty when I cry

When summer came around, you had promised both Fantili boys you’d keep close touch with them, especially Adam since he’d be heading off to Columbus next season, which pained you a little, but you were happy for him. 

As the months passed by, you and Luca talked more and more every day, something Adam noticed and was quick to bring up to his brother. Luca was smiling at his phone all the time, and overall was just in a better mood than when you two had broken up. The older brother shrugged him off, claiming he was imaginating things, but they both knew it was a lie. 

You were over the moon when you arrived in Michigan, only to find that both brothers were already there, and a time to meet was quickly set. During your little hang out, it was clear to Adam that you and Luca were truly meant to be together, you both had giant smiles whenever you’d be talking to the other. For a majority of the night, it was mainly just the two of you in your own little world, but Adam didn’t care, Luca was happy, you were happy, and that’s all that mattered to him. 

“Don’t fuck this up, dude.” Adam whispered in his brother’s ear as the two of them hugged goodbye. Luca had admitted to him that he was planning on asking you out soon, something that almost made the younger boy scream. 

“I won’t.” And he didn’t. He asked you out, again, and you said yes, again, a week later. The two of you were just hanging in your dorm, you were complaining about how much homework you already had when he just blurred the question out. You were a little shock, but quickly agreed. 

When Luca told his teammates the two of you were back together, he received some questioning looks, but he just ignored them. He thought you were perfect, and that’s all that mattered to him. He didn’t care if his friends didn’t like you, he did and they’d need to learn how to deal with you being around even if they didn’t like you. 

You made him happy, and that’s all they should care about.

[angels-fantasy]

Top Secret Fiction Ch. 4

Farmers Market

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Description: After meeting the one and only pro hero Dynamight on a dating app, you two begin to see each other. Because of the dangers that come with his hero work, you both promise to be completely honest with each other from the beginning; though you can't help but keep one big secret from him.

You write fan fiction, mostly about him.

Chapter Details: nothing crazy. another date, katsuki being sweet, reader uses their quirk

Word Count: 1.4k

previous chapter

It's been about two weeks since you went on your date with Bakugou and you haven't seen him since, unfortunately. But it was for good reason - his hero work.

Going into this, you knew he'd be extremely busy, but you didn't think he'd be this busy. But you could understand it. Though something you did appreciate was the fact that he did make time to talk to you on the phone and would let you know when he'd have to go hours without talking.

In these past two weeks you also thought about his serious talk with you, about honesty.

Guilt ate away at you every time you started writing or even thought about it, which made it harder to stay active on your writing account.

Your secret really wasn't that big of a deal, but it was still a secret. Fan fiction was also something that had a bad reputation among people who didn't read it, so who knows how Bakugou felt about it.

Your phone ringing broke you out of your thoughts.

Looking at the caller ID, you saw that it was Bakugou. Smiling, you answered it and said "Hi Bakugou!"

"Hey, you busy right now?" He asked.

You looked around your room, as if that'd give you an answer. "Uh no, why?"

"Good. Can you be ready in like - thirty minutes? I'm free for the rest of the day and I wanna hangout now that I actually have time."

How sweet.

"Yeah I'll be ready by then. Are we meeting somewhere?"

"No, I'm picking you up."

"'Kay, see you then. Bye!"

"Bye."

Hanging up, you squealed into your pillow and then looked at the time. It was only 3:00 pm, so you'd have to be ready by 3:30.

As you rushed to get ready you wondered where Bakugou was taking you. He didn't say you had to dress a certain way, so you went for a casual and comfortable outfit.

He didn't seem like the type to take you somewhere extravagant randomly, so you were sure it'd be somewhere that was pretty relaxed.

After getting ready you noticed you had a few minutes left to spare so you decided to go check on the plants you had around your home.

You had about three plants in your home, all of them ranging from different sizes and types. You didn't have many plants in your home because you already had many at your work place.

You attended to each of your plants needs after they had told you what it is they wanted. One wanted more sunlight, the other was thirsty, and one was just fine.

You looked at your phone to check if Bakugou had texted you, and luckily he did. He had sent a text saying he was outside waiting for you.

You smiled and slipped your shoes on, saying bye to Cheerios and your plants like you always did.

Sliding into the passenger seat you said, "Hey stranger. How've you been?"

He smiled lightly, "Sorry I haven't been able to see you. Work keeps me busy but I'm good, you?"

"I get it. I've been good too though. Has anything interesting happened at work?"

Bakugou brought a hand up to his jaw and stroked it while he thought. "Eh, nothing major. I did stop a bank robbery with Red Riot a few days ago though."

You gasped and turned to him, "A whole bank robbery? I feel like that's such a stereotypical situation... you know? Like, you just see it in movies all the time."

"I know, which is why people usually don't attempt to rob a whole bank" He laughed, "But clearly these guys were idiots."

You laughed at that. "I can't even imagine trying to rob a bank. I mean - where would you even start?

The two of you continued to talk on the way to your destination, which he actually told you about this time. He said that there was a farmers market happening nearby and he actually went there pretty often, so he thought he should invite you along with him which you thought was sweet.

When you arrived it was just as you expected and it seemed to be quite busy.

"Wow I can't believe I've never been here before! The decorations are so cute." You said in awe, once you both started walking around.

"You wanna go get food? There's this old dude that sells the best takoyaki at his stand." Bakugou said as you two walked through the crowd.

You nodded, "Yeah I'm down. Takoyaki sounds really good right now - oh and after can we stop at that stand?" You asked, pointing to a stand that was selling crocheted stuffed animals.

He nodded and then held out a hand, "So you don't get lost in the crowd."

Yeah right.

You smiled and grabbed his hand, letting him lead the way to the takoyaki stand. Once you got there you met the old man he mentioned and talked to him for a bit. You found out that he made the takoyaki himself and he'd been doing it for over thirty years!

When it came to paying, Bakugou kept insisting that he would pay for your food but you stood your ground and told him you were just fine paying for your own.

He grumbled about it for a while after but eventually got over it. You two then went over to the stand you mentioned earlier, and looked at the stuffed animals for sale.

"They're so cute! I think I'm gonna buy one." You said to Bakugou.

He hummed, "You should get that one." and pointed to a white jumbo bunny wearing pink overalls.

"You're so right." You said and placed your food down so you could grab the bunny and check for a price tag.

Your eyes widened at the price.

"This thing is sixty bucks!" You whispered to him.

"What? Lemme see." He said and grabbed the bunny from you to look at the tag. His eyebrows raised a bit at the price. "Tsk, I can make this shit myself."

"You crochet?" You asked.

"Sometimes..." He said and looked away.

You laughed and then grabbed the bunny back from him. "Well, I guess it's goodbye bunny. You're just too expensive." You said and sadly put the bunny back where it once was, making sure to grab your takoyaki.

"Wanna go sit under that tree?" You asked and pointed to a large tree with a bench underneath it.

Bakugou nodded and you began making your way over to the bench.

Once you got there you both continued to eat your food in a comfortable silence. Looking up at the tree, you used your quirk and listened.

"This tree has seen a lot of things." You smiled.

"Whaddya mean?" He asked around his food.

"My quirk. I just used it and listened to the tree. She said she's seen a lot of interesting things in this spot, good and bad." You said and listened some more, "Proposals are the most common."

Bakugou smiled, "The tree really said all that?"

"Yeah! Trees have such interesting stories because they've been around so long." You said excitedly.

He looked up at the tree, "I guess I never thought about it like that."

After some more talking and eating, Bakugou offered to throw away your trash for you, which you accepted. He told you to wait at the bench for him, so you did.

It was taking him a bit longer than you thought it would so you began to worry a bit. As you were biting your lip in thought, a touch on your shoulder made you jump.

"Didn't mean to scare ya."

You placed a hand on your chest, "Jeez! You walk so quietly I didn't hear anything."

Bakugou smirked, "Here, I got you something."

He handed you a large, brown paper bag and watched as you looked inside.

"The bunny!" You gasped and pulled it out of the bag. "But it was so expensive, why did you buy this?!"

He shrugged, "You wanted it, and I guess it's okay to look at."

You looked at the bunny intensely and rubbed its head.

"It's so cute... Thank you so much." You said.

"It's not problem, just make sure to name it after me." He joked.

You clicked your tongue and smacked him with the bunny.

...

You guys had ended up spending the rest of the day together, finally leaving the farmers market around 8:30 pm.

When Bakugou pulled up to your house, you hesitated before getting out.

"You good?" He asked.

"Yeah, um. Do you wanna come inside?" You asked quietly.

He smiled the widest you've ever seen him smile and said, "Yeah. Will your plants be okay with it?"

"Har har." You said while rolling your eyes and got out the car, leading him into your house.

authors note

sorry for the little cliff hanger :3

also, here's the bunny katsuki bought reader

taglist: @doumadono @54fangirl @andysdrafts @dagger-dragger @lovra974 @l4rsun1vrrse @emmab3mma @littlkittenfan @tatiquichi @cloudxluv @seonne @shonen-brainrot @the2ndl @gold24fish @cxp1d @rv19 @gina329

(those in pink couldn't be tagged)

[spookymultimedia]

Was it something I said to make you feel like you're a burden?

Word count: 956

Kenny hates vampires

The four boys sat around in Kyle's room looking at the his book. It was a huge thick book about Vampire history that he got with his birthday money. He had just turned 13.

“it says that vampires are undead and live forever and ever. They can't eat food and they have to live off of blood!” Kyle explained wide eyed with a giant grin.

“Blood! That's gross!” Cartman said with disgust and giggled. “How do they even eat blood??”

“They bite on your neck and suck it through their teeth.”

“That's gay.”

“Nuh uh!”

“Yeah huh! It's like kissing up on some guy's neck, that's so gay.”

“Who said it had to be a guy?”

Cartman blushed, “It's still gay.”

Stan was leaning over Kyle's shoulder looking at the pictures with a smile. The only one who wasn't looking at the book was Kenny Mccormick, who just leaned back against the bed with a distant look.

“Kenny, come here!! Look at this gross-ass vampire monster!!!” Cartman called out pointing at a hunched over beast with fangs and wings.

Kenny came close and glanced at it unamused.

“I wonder what kind of vampire I would be.” Kyle mused.

“Jews can't be vampires! It’s a sin!”

“Nuh uh!”

“Yeah huh, you'd be playing into stereotypes that Jewish people suck blood from babies.”

“I wouldn't eat babies. I'd get my blood ethically.”

“I don't think blood is kosher Kyle.”

“WHATEVER!” Kyle shut his book and swatted Cartman with it with a grin.

“That hurt!!” Cartman whined and rubbed his arm.

“Crybaby.”

“Vampires are fucking lame.” Kenny spouted out from behind his parka.

“What?? No way they're super cool! They dress all fancy and sleep in cool looking castles. And they can live forever! Wouldn't that be awesome!”

“They're not immortal!! They get exposed to the sun and die!!” Kenny shouted.

“Jesus Kenny calm down, it's just fiction,” said Cartman, giving Kenny a worried look.

“Oh you're one to talk.” Stan retorted from Kyle's shoulder.

“Shut up!”

“Okay but I'd sleep in a velvet coffin and I'd be super duper careful about daylight savings! I'll just set the right alarm. Or I'd let my familiar let me know it's safe.”

“Garlic would kill you.” Kenny grumbled.

“So?? If I don't need to eat, why would I care?”

“IT'S NOT IMMORTAL!” Kenny screamed.

“Kenny.” Cartman grabbed his shoulders gently and petted his shoulder.

Kenny pushed him off.

“Why are you upset? It's just fiction! I know immortality isn't real, I just think it's fun to imagine. What's wrong with that?”

Kenny slumped over the bed and pouted.

“But, like, think about it. If I was a vampire I could stay up all night and play video games!” He said towards Stan. “And we don't need to eat or use the bathroom or do chores. We could just play forever in the dark.”

“Dude, that sounds like heaven. I wish I was immortal.”

Kenny sprinted out of the room and slammed the door hard, making a loud bang ring though the hall.

Kyle sat there stunned, “Kenny?” he stood up. Cartman grabbed his arm.

“Dude he'll be fine. He’s just being a baby.”

“I dunno, he looked really upset. Did I say something wrong??”

“Kyle. . .” Cartman sighed, not sure what to tell him that he would understand, “Just, leave him alone for a while.”

Kyle didn't listen. He broke away from Cartman's grasp and ran out the room.

“Kenny! I'm sorry. What did I say??”

Kenny flashed him the middle finger.

“Kenny! Talk to me? Please. Are you scared of vampires or something???”

Kenny kept on walking.

“Kenny??” He touched Kenny's arm trying to stop him.

“I SAID SHUT UP YOU DUMB FUCK!!!!”

He screamed into his face. Kyle flinched at him and stepped back.

Cartman ran out into the hallway and looked at them. He stared at them wide eyed.

Kenny turned around to keep walking, but then a whimper met his ears. It was Kyle. He was crying. Kenny slowly turned around and looked at his friend.

Kyle was staring at the floor with his face all twisted up. Tears were running down his face. He hiccupped and let out a cry. It was rare for him to see Kyle cry. He only ever cried when he was angry or when family died. The noise made Kenny's stomach twist up in guilt. Kyle didn't know anything.

Kenny ran back to him and pulled the taller boy into a hug. Kyle got on his knees and hugged him back. They both sat on the floor.

“I'm sorry.” Kyle choked out.

Kenny petted his back, “It's okay.”

He squeezed Kyle close. He nuzzled into Kenny's shoulder and closed his eyes. After a while Kyle had calmed down.

“Did I say something wrong?” Kyle looked up at Kenny and rubbed his eyes. Kenny looked past Kyle and saw Cartman staring at them. He then looked back at Kyle.

“No. .it's just. . .” He glanced at Cartman again as if he had an answer for him.

“Yeah?”

“They just freak me out.” Kenny lied.

“Why?”

“I don't know. It's stupid isn't it?”

“No, not at all.”

“I wanna go home.” He let Kyle go and turned away.

Cartman followed him, “I'll walk him home.”

“I'll go with you then.” Kyle stood up.

“No. Just, just stay here, I'll just walk him to the other side of the tracks.”

“Oh. Okay.”

He walked out with Kenny.

Cartman and Kenny walked quietly down the street.

“I wish I could tell him everything.” Kenny mumbled and kicked a soda can along the sidewalk.

“At least you got me.”

“I guess.” Kenny kicked the can across the yard. It disappeared into a bush. Tears ran down his face.

And if I could take it all back I swear that I would pull you from the tide

[aro-sora]

Heartless

This month's Carnival of Aros theme is "Humanity and the Non-Human" and these prompts were particularly resonant with me:

It’s been a fairly well-documented phenomenon that many aromantics tend to feel some sort of connection to some sort of fictional non-human species, whether as specific examples, or as a whole. If you relate, what are your thoughts on these characters and concepts as an aro(-spec)? Do you have any experiences in any subcultures related to non-humanity, such as Voidpunk?

So I thought I'd write something about my personal experiences.

It will come as no surprise to people who follow this blog that I am a heartless aromantic and I'm also a huge Kingdom Hearts fan. (To anyone who isn't familiar with KH, in the games there are beings of darkness called Heartless. There's a lot of designs and some are cooler than others so here are a few of my favorites:)

[ID: Various Heartless from Kingdom Heartles, in order, a Shadow, a Neoshadow, a Soldier, and a Darkling. End ID]

These beings are both literally and very much not literally (it's complicated) heartless. They are manifestations of the darkness in people's hearts and seek to steal more hearts to transform into Heartless.

(something something beings that are recognizably human but also . . . not and yet still have the instinctual desire to reclaim what was taken)

A common stereotype about aromantic people is that we are heartless and unfeeling because we don't experience romantic love. Aromanticism may influence a person's emotions and definitely impacts views on romance, but to say that all aros are cold and emotionless is hurtful and arophobic. But I also genuinely identify with the term "heartless." Not feeling romantic attractions makes me feel alienated from amatonormative society, and "heartless aro" is the best way for me to describe that feeling.

My love of Kingdom Hearts is also a huge influence on that. When I say KH rewired my brain, it's only a half joke. I was 5-6 years old when I first discovered these games and this bizarre Disney/Final Fantasy crossover was a very formative experience. "Heartless" is not just a way to describe my aromanticism, its a defining aspect.

What is it, to be Heartless? To be human, once, but now something . . . other: a being born of darkness. Darkness is a force that is often used for evil, but still KH makes a point of not making it inherently evil. Darkness exists in every heart. It can overwhelm, but it can also be accepted and mastered, like in Riku's case. To choose to become Heartless, in Sora's case, is a defining moment of humanity.

My blog url might be aro-sora (because let's be honest, he's super arospec) but the title, "My Heart Belongs to Me," is quote from Roxas, one of the best examples in KH of someone being denied humanity for supposedly not having a heart, yet being one of the most caring and emotional characters in the series. He's not an actual capital-H Heartless (that's Sora, briefly) but his story and his struggles just . . . resonate with me. "I am me! Nobody else!" I want for people to stop thinking of me as something I am not, as desiring relationships I don't want, or even being a gender I am not.

I don't have much experience with voidpunk culture (but now I want to look into it), but recently I discovered the term otherhearted: "Identifying strongly with something nonhuman and/or fictional, without literally identifying as that thing." (I'm a bit on the fence between being otherhearted and otherkin, but otherheart literally has the word "heart" in it and the KH influence is strong.) It's a very queer experience to want to change your identity and be something other than what people see you as. Sometimes I imagine that for myself—claws of darkness, eyes of burning gold. Darkness cannot exist without light, but neither can light exist without darkness. Nothing can destroy me, because I am the shadow at the very heart of the world.

I guess that would make me Heartless-hearted. An ironic term, I know, but similarly to my personal heartless aro identity I find it absolutely hilarious. So many parts of my identity are "contradictions": being bigender, being human and heartless. It fits with the lore of the Heartless themselves: some technically do possess hearts and some don't. (it's complicated)

I call myself heartless the same way I call myself queer. Bigots will use them as insults and an attempt to make me lesser and other and nonhuman, but to me these are my words. They are mine and I give them power, no one else. Someone thinks I'm "heartless" for not experiencing a certain feeling? Fuck them, I AM heartless. And I am still human because I choose to be, not because humanity is something to be given or taken away. I don't have to prove anything about myself to anyone. I define my own heart, NO ONE ELSE.

And if they still think that being heartless—being aromantic—is something "wrong" or "unnatural" or not human? I only have a warning for them:

Beware the darkness in your heart. The Heartless prey upon it.

[rjalker]

"who's JK Rowling? everyone knows Hatsune Miku wrote Harry Potter and did a FABULOUS job of writing all the indigenous and trans-coded characters <3"

stop

-

this is an actual copy and pasted quote by the way. I couldn't imagine this level of bigotry if I tired.

-

For those confused:

When people take something like Harry Potter and claim that JK Rowling didn't write it, actually, someone else did, and not only that, but it's got tons of trans-coded and indiginous characters in it...

It's literally just the person saying this admitting that they do not care about the actual bigotry that's written into the book. JK Rowling is racist and hates Jewish people and fat people and in fact hates indiginous people.

She wrote Harry Potter.

All of her bigotry is baked into the book, and no ammount of pretending someone else wrote it is going to change that. Harry Potter isn't bad because JK Rowling's decided to out herself as a massive jackass who hates trans people and Muslims --

It's bad because it's antisemetic. It's fatmistic. It's racist. It's literally pro-slavery and mocks people who want to abolish slavery.

She literally equates being fat to being evil multiple times, explicitly, and says that the only way for an evil fat person to redeem themselves is to lose weight. Dudley (the protagonist's abusive cousin) is literally at one point described as being wider than he is tall, and so is Harry's abusive uncle. Their fatness is directly proportional to their abusiveness. It's only once Dudley starts being less abusive that he starts to lose weight, and only once he starts to lose weight that he starts being less abusive.

Literally equating being fat with being abusive, and losing weight with becoming a better person.

The goblins are literally a textbook antisemetic stereotype, and she just keeps making it more and more explicit and adding more antisemitism.

The house elves are literally slaves, and we're supposed to believe they're happy with being enslaved, and Hermione, literally the only character in the entire series who is horrified by the fact that the wizarding world is literally built on the backs of slaves, is portrayed as ridiculous and absurd and ridiculed every time she tries to do anything to help.

The one house elf who was freed and was happy about this is portrayed as out of control and we're fucking supposed to legitimately believe he is mentally unstable because he wasn't happy being enslaved. The same way fucking American psychologists fucking said enslaved Black people who tried to escape were mentally ill because the natural state of Black people was to be subservient and helpful so if they weren't happy being slaves that meant there was something wrong with them :|

Oh and let's not forget the rampant classism, where being poor is seen as something shameful that you should have to struggle through on your own, because accepting help is bad!!! You should never accept handouts, and if you do, you should be ashamed of it for the rest of your life!!

People were calling out the atrocious levels of bigotry in Harry Potter long before JK Rowling made her hatred of trans people loud and clear on Twitter. Her racism, fatmisia, and antisemitism have been getting called out for years, but no one gave a shit until trans people were the targets.

Saying "Well actually [fictional character] wrote Harry Potter!" does not remove any of the absurd levels of bigotry that are baked into the world building.

You cannot remove the bigotry from Harry Potter without literally rebuilding the entire world from the ground up.

Crossing out JK Rowling's name on the cover (or whatever other bigoted creator is relevant to whatever thing is being discussed, because this keeps happening with multiple things, not just JK Rowling and Harry Potter) doesn't change the contents of the book.

The racism is baked in. The hatred of fat people is baked in. The hatred of Jewish people is baked in. All of the bigotry in the series that's been getting called out for decades now is baked into the books.

It is /especially/ fucking evil to claim that not only did JK Rowling not write it, but actually it's super duper antiracist and inclusive and says trans rights, because literally...it is so fucking racist.

Claiming Harry Potter instantly becomes a shining beacon of anti-racism (and pro trans rights) the moment you scratch off JK Rowling's name is just racist as absolute shit.

[lotronprimesucks]

The thing is that it is incredibly easy to stand against Amazon, boycott RoP, speak out about the company’s bad practices and bad behavior, and also avoid acting like a racist idiot. There are plenty of reasons to criticize this show that are not only distinct from the racist talking points they’re in direct opposition to them!

By lumping in all critique of the company and the show with the racist reactionaries, the people who are ultimately helped are the reactionaries, because everyone who has a problem with this is being pushed into a box full of racist alt-right trolls and trads. It’s the same problem that we see in circles where TERFs radicalize people - someone who’s voicing a legitimate complaint is going to be told “that complaint isn’t actually legitimate, you don’t think this for reasons other than racism” by everyone except the racists, and then they’ve got their hooks in someone else because they’re the only people listening.

There are problems with this show, problems easily seen even before the first episodes air, and there are problems with Amazon’s marketing and with the way they’re carefully manipulating who says what and why. The way they’ve pivoted from “here’s our extremely diverse cast who won’t say anything about their characters because they’re all original characters who don’t have canonical roles except for this one token girl!” to “look! look how much we love the books!” is manipulative, it is designed to get people who were put off by the focus on diversity (including people who rightfully called it out as deflecting from their core problems) to think that wow, they have read the books. They are trying their best to make everyone think that in order to own the racists, you must let the show succeed, you must stop criticizing it.

But there are legitimate antiracist feminist leftist reasons to criticize the show, and those exist outside of and apart from arguments about fidelity to the Jackson films or fidelity to someone’s imagined idea of Middle-Earth. Making this show a success won’t rid the fandom of racism, and won’t make spaces any less hostile to fans of color, and shows with racially diverse casts are also not immune to racism. Too many racist projects or racist ideas have been given a pass because they technically function as representation, and too many corporations have folded immediately under racist pressure and relegated their actors of color to background roles or stereotypes.

And on that subject - I’ve seen people talking about how bullshit it is that most of their actors of color are original characters, I’ve seen people talking about how the Bronwyn/Arondir romance appears to be an even more racist spin on the typical Pocahontas and Loving The Occupier tropes, I’ve seen people talking about how Tar-Míriel being the only notable Númenorean who isn’t white is fucked up, and I’ve seen people talking about Amazon‘s exploitative labor practices and how this show would not exist if Jeff Bezos wasn’t desperate for even more power. All of those things are genuine points of concern and all of them are each enough of a reason for a boycott. Beyond that, the showrunners have admitted they don’t have the full rights to anything not in the Appendices, and they’ve openly talked about how they’re going to be changing things.

Not wanting Amazon (significantly more evil than any other movie corporation or video game company that’s adapted Tolkien) to use a work of fiction to advance their soft power, and not wanting a show that gleefully talks about changing things and isn’t interested in faithful adaptation to exist, and not wanting to support marketing that uses diversity as a shield to deflect criticism while failing to give robust and interesting parts to people of color, are all both completely legitimate reasons to want this show to fail and distinct from basically all of the backlash.

Tolkien isn’t a god of fiction, and his works aren’t this noble pure thing that must never be defiled. But Amazon sure looks a lot like the devil, and they never should have been the ones to adapt this property.

[aces-to-apples]

From the notes of this post:

@this-world-of-beautiful-monsters

Flippant answer:......and what about them?

Short answer: they're coming from a place of inherently bad faith and i block them on sight.

Long answer: If someone is racist then they will continue to be racist until or unless they make a personal decision to either change themselves or allow themselves to be changed by those around them. If i'm a racist person with a "fetish" for brown people then that simply has nothing to do with fictional clones in a galaxy far far away and everything to do with how i treat real actual human people who are alive. Such traits would exist within me regardless of which fictional characters i like to imagine kissing and would be entirely unaffected by people yelling about Oh The Humanity.

Frankly, I think the majority of accusations like the one mentioned above usually stem from one of these two mindsets: 1) "i don't like this/it makes me uncomfortable and therefore i will use buzzwords and innate desire of others not to cause each other harm to make people creating it feel bad for doing so", or 2) "i have trauma stemming from abuse/marginalization related to this thing being depicted, and this thing being depicted is genuinely triggering whatever trauma responses developed from the result of said abuse/marginalization and therefore in an effort to protect myself i will attempt to make it stop." One is lashing out because of entitlement, and one is lashing out because of trauma. Either way, it's still lashing out. It's still interacting with the worst faith imaginable for the sake of personal comfort, and sure, i take the second reason a hell of a lot more seriously but let's be honest, it's impossible to know which reason is behind it because, a) people lie, and b) both groups use the same tactics to achieve their ends: namely stalking, harassment, smear campaigns, and maliciously spreading misinformation. If someone's yelling into a microphone in front of a crowd that they saw goody proctor at the devil's sacrament, i'm not gonna give a shit about why they're saying it because the intended end result is the same.

I know it's become something of a stock phrase by this point but, truly, fandom is not activism. If you want to try to incorporate activism-adjacent education into what you put out into fandom, cool, hope that works out for you. There are lots of posts (and even entire blogs) dedicated to attempting to, for example, educate others in fandom about racist trends, stereotypes, portrayals, coding, etc., that are often found in fandoms and source materials alike. Personally i find them very informative and helpful. Some people will attempt to take that to heart and change their behavior, and some people will ignore it because they don't give a fuck, and an important skill to develop is knowing which one is necessary to not be a shit person.

If someone tells me "hey you wrote lavernius tucker as disliking his first name and considering he's a Black man with an unusual name that takes on a different connotation than it would with a white character" then i'll think about that seriously, come to a conclusion, and say "thank you so much for pointing that out, i didn't consider that at all when writing it and i will now change it and try to keep that in mind going forward." But if someone says "hey you're writing about brown men from unrealistic and fantastical origins finding love, romance, or even just sexual gratification with each other and that's racist and fetishizing because they look a lot alike" then i'll think about that seriously, come to a conclusion, and say "nah, that sounds like bullshit to me."

If i'm ever given to believe that i'm perpetuating some kind of racial stereotype, insensitively portraying characters of color, or harming actual human beings by writing a couple of clone troopers having sloppy makeouts with each other, i'll be sure to reevaluate. Until then, i block anyone i see who makes grand sweeping statements about the moral fiber of people who create fan content of two dudes fucking.

Also, this goes for every one of these types of accusations*: people aren't racist for shipping characters of color together, they aren't pedophiles for shipping minor/adult characters, they aren't abusers or abuse apologists for shipping enemies (or even, yes, canonically abusive characters), they don't want to fuck their relatives because they ship related characters, and they aren't groomers for posting or discussing smutty fanworks on the goddamn internet. Morality and ethics aren't defined by one's fictional interests, or by the microscopic slice of their rich internal life and world they deign to share with others on Tumblr, and fandom isn't fucking activism.

*and anything within fandom that can be defined as an accusation is automatically suspect for these exact reasons

[paperstorm]

I saw your tags on a post and since I'm someone who's said "let men be friends" unironically a few times, I wanted to share why I said that and maybe you can let me know if I'm being queerphobic, because I genuinely don't mean to be.

In my country, you will never ever see two men holding hands. If that happens, it is assumed that the two men are gay. Homosexuality has been decriminalized in the past ten years but the general public is still very very queerphobic. So young boys learn very early on which behaviours are okay and which aren't. For boys who are friends, backslaps or one-arm bro hugs, etc are okay, but proper hugs or holding hands is gay. While two girls who are friends can hold hands, hug, sit on each others laps, etc. Boys who are gentle and sensitive are called gay, boys who are stoic or aggressive are never considered to be anything but straight.

When I see two young boys actively learn not to hug each other, it makes me so angry because it feels like the grip of toxic masculinity is extending into future generations too. I wish I could explain to so many parents around me that human ways of showing affection has nothing to do with sexuality or gender identity. Boys can hold hands on the playground and be cishet. Boys can be aggressive and angry and be queer. Boys can cry in front of each other and console each other and be cishet. Boys can eviscerate each other and be queer.

I've always heard that western countries might be more queer friendly but that there's still a lot of similar attitudes in terms of what "real men" should and shouldn't do. Is my understanding wrong? Because that's what I mean by "let men be friends" - let men express friendship however they want without judgement, in ways that are traditionally considered feminine or emotional or too touchy-feely or weak or embarrassing or whatever. Allowing that freedom of emotional expression and affection, breaking the hold of traditional stereotypes, all of that will only help with acceptance of queer communities too.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all. There's so so many layers to this that certainly are not going to be adequately expressed in tags on a joke post. When antis talk about letting men be friends they're doing it as a way to silence shipping and it seems so ridiculous to make the case that whatever characters they're talking about must remain purely platonic because they're the only good representation of men being friends, because there are approximately ten trillion movies and TV shows about men being friends, and fans imagining romance between fictional characters isn't stopping them from being friends. Because they aren't real. But men in real life who are bullied by society out of being soft or close or intimate in platonic ways is an entirely different issue. I don't disagree at all with what you said, because yeah, patriarchy is a hell of a drug isn't it. It hurts literally everyone.

[holding-a-million-things-but-why]

Hey Tumblr! It's been a(nother) while!!

I've had more prompts rattling around in my head since my last post :]

- someone can use magic, and let's say it usually costs something (like energy, b!ood, etc) and it doesn't seem like a Special Person's magic doesn't cost them anything and it's great--- but it costs memories instead.

At first it's just things people usually forget, like that one non-eventful date you when 5 years ago, leading to forgotten tasks and stuff but THEN-- They wake one morning, and all they know is their magic, nothing else. (Imagine their friends/companions/party members having to learn that they've pushed the Special Person too far... Haha angst) BY NO MEANS AM I TRYING TO MAKE FUN OF NEURODEGENERATIVE DISEASES, THIS IS FOR FICTION

Btw, I'm aromantic. I don't feel romantic attraction to anyone. So that's the scope I had in mind for this next one: TW: APHOBIA

(this would be a highly personal blow to me)

- "How can you be heartbroken if you didn't have a heart to begin with?"

There are other forms of love in this world, people. Friendship, familial, general love for everything-- the list goes on.

- "Looking for trouble, and if I cannot find it, I will create it."

Basically the motto of one of my characters. Lol

-Characters carrying things around in their pockets/bags/socks/literally whatever for literally no reason except to have The Specific Object on them. For example:

She could hear a small clinking emanating from the opposite corner of the room. It was impossible to see the (other person) in such low light, but she knew exactly who was approaching-- there was only one person she knew who always carried tumbled rocks in their pockets at all times.

You know that stereotype where the villain sits back in their really cool spinny chair, petting their luxurious (probably long-haired) feline?

- the cat catches the Zoomies, right as they spin around.

- the cat won't stop meowing or purrs really loud

- as the hero says something along the lines of "you'll never get away with this", the cat jumps onto the villain's lap and starts kneading, leading to an awkward encounter

- it's not actually a cat

That's all I have for right now, at least as far as I know :]

Remember to hydrate and take care of yourselves :]

[saltypiss]

What happens if a boy acts like a girl? Well we have all of human history to show, they're usually just normal people who identify their own way. Sure there's stray examples of crazies, not impossible to find for every possible group of people.

You know what happens if a child finds out they're not trans? They stop trying to discover that aspect of themselves, because they found it. They move on. If they discover they are trans, then, let them? Who does this affect again? They're happier this way, and not in a false way either, they're genuinely better this way.

Oh but the suicide ratez! How about you help reduce them for once in your so far soley negativity spreading life? Try talking to a trans person, you'll find it rather eye opening that indeed they are just people who present themselves in a way you simply just don't like.

If transgenderism is just a phase as they previously tried to frame biology as, then fighting it is exactly the same as fighting teenager's rebellion. You can only go so far, and a teenager's rebellion also can only go so far. Both are non-harmful and only worth guiding in as the outside force. Instead of doing the wrong thing wronger, try something sensible, be a human being with them.

This boogeymening of turning your child into a violent, hateful person being better than them discovering themselves, has to come to ahead eventually, right? It has to become obvious at some point, not being antagonists in your child's life, is good for them? That people are varied as hell and in general, can and will do what they want with themselves? That for all of human history, transgenderism has existed, that people presented themselves differently than the common way, that, indeed, not everyone fits a stereotype in their hollywood film that is their pathetic lives.

They can't win the argument against biology. So they did the same old tactic, "The children!" Who were never apart of the discussion on trans rights and policy before. So far, that's all they got, and all it does is prove further they just hate everything and everyone, and refuse to learn anything further.

They hate fellow americans more than their previous boogeymen, the dreaded non-christians from "sand valley" so much, that this sentiment is commonplace. Imagine hating americans more than their percieved constant threat of "terrorists".

Nobody in the medical field is going to risk a child's life with hormones unless they, in their actual medically professional opinion, find it to be a genuine need. You don't typically go to a doctor and say you want drugs or random surgeries, and get them. And somehow I doubt there's backalley abor- "trans factories" that secretly turns kids onto the "trans ideology"

If they feel uncomfortable, that's it. Gotta ban it. That's their entire view on life. Kneejerk, no thought, no effort, emotional responses to very real situations with real people. Literally the mind of children, that are trying to discuss biology as if they ever had the chance to understand it in the first place.

Simply fan fiction in these people's heads. No reality.

Of all things for general republican voters to be against, personal freedom of identity, seems to be a common one. They really, really hate, when people aren't like them.

I just wish they'd drop the pretense of protecting children, they clearly don't give a shit about them. Giving teacher's guns would be a fucking terrible idea, but the fact they refuse to do anything to stop growing school shootings in any fashion but lip service, is proof enough it's lip service meant to emotionally tangle a less prepared person into an ideology of hate. I wish people knew how unprepared they are for propaganda, and didn't take everything they hear from "their" side to heart so quickly out of a loyal trust.

Being skeptical of all things and not relying on one source is how you grow. We talk about their skepticism being nothing more than forced conspiracy theories, but the real problem is they only do this because one party told them too, and they never question that one party. I whole-heartedly would prefer someone who trusts no one, over trusting just one massive governmentally involved organization.

But, sure, the taliban is better for children than a girl wearing blue or a guy wearing pink. Fuck my shit to goo.

[ganymedesclock]

These are questions I've had for some while and it's hard to find someone who'll answer with grace. This mostly relates to disabilities (mental or physical) in fiction.

1) What makes a portrayal of a disability that's harming the character in question ableist?

2) Is there a way to write a disabled villain in a way that isn't ableist?

In the circles I've been in, the common conceptions are you can't use a character's disability as a plot point or showcase it being a hindrance in some manner. heaven forbid you make your villain disabled in some capacity, that's a freaking death sentence to a creative's image. I understand historically villains were the only characters given disabilities, but (and this is my personal experience) I've not seen as many disabled villains nowadays, heck, I see more disabled heroes in media nowadays.

Sorry if this comes off as abrasive, I'd really like to be informed for future media consumption and my own creative endeavors.

Okay so the first thing I'm going to say is that while it IS a good idea to talk to disabled people and get their feedback, disabled people are not a monolith and they aren't going to all have the same take on how this goes.

My personal take is biased in favor that I'm a neurodivergent person (ADHD and autism) who has no real experience with physical disabilities, so I won't speak for physically disabled people- heck, I won't even speak for every neurotype. Like I say, people aren't a monolith.

For myself and my own writing of disabled characters, here's a couple of concepts I stick by:

Research is your friend

Think about broad conventions of ableism

Be mindful of cast composition

1. Research is your friend

Yeah this is the thing everybody says, so here's the main bases I try to cover:

What's the story on this character's disability?

Less in terms of 'tragic angst' and more, what kind of condition this is- because a congenital amputee (that is to say, someone who was born without a limb) will have a different relationship to said limb absence than someone who lost their limb years ago to someone who lost their limb yesterday. How did people in their life respond to it, and how did they respond to it? These responses are not "natural" and will not be the same to every person with every worldview. This can also be a great environment to do worldbuilding in! Think about the movie (and the tv series) How To Train Your Dragon. The vikings in that setting don't have access to modern medicine, and they're, well, literally fighting dragons and other vikings. The instance of disability is high, and the medical terminology to talk about said disabilities is fairly lackluster- but in a context where you need every man you possibly can to avoid the winter, the mindset is going to be not necessarily very correct, but egalitarian. You live in a village of twenty people and know a guy who took a nasty blow to the head and hasn't quite been the same ever since? "Traumatic Brain Injury" is probably not going to be on your lips, but you're also probably going to just make whatever peace you need to and figure out how to accommodate Old Byron for his occasional inability to find the right word, stammers and trembles. In this example, there are several relevant pieces of information- what the character's disability is (aphasia), how they got it (brain injury), and the culture and climate around it (every man has to work, and we can't make more men or throw them away very easily, so, how can we make sure this person can work even if we don't know what's wrong with them)

And that dovetails into:

What's the real history, and modern understandings, of this?

This is where "knowing the story" helps a lot. To keep positing our hypothetical viking with a brain injury, I can look into brain injuries, what affects their extent and prognosis, and maybe even beliefs about this from the time period and setting I'm thinking of (because people have had brains, and brain injuries, the entire time!) Sure, if the setting is fantastical, I have wiggle room, but looking at inspirations might give me a guide post.

Having a name for your disorder also lets you look for posts made by specific people who live with the condition talking about their lives. This is super, super important for conditions stereotyped as really scary, like schizophrenia or narcissistic personality disorder. Even if you already know "schizophrenic people are real and normal" it's still a good thing to wake yourself up and connect with others.

2. Think about broad conventions of ableism

It CAN seem very daunting or intimidating to stay ahead of every single possible condition that could affect someone's body and mind and the specific stereotypes to avoid- there's a lot under the vast umbrella of human experience and we're learning more all the time! A good hallmark is, ableism has a few broad tendencies, and when you see those tendencies rear their head, in your own thinking or in accounts you read by others, it's good to put your skeptical glasses on and look closer. Here's a few that I tend to watch out for:

Failing the “heartwarming dog” test

This was a piece of sage wisdom that passed my eyeballs, became accepted as sage wisdom, and my brain magnificently failed to recall where I saw it. Basically, if you could replace your disabled character with a lovable pet who might need a procedure to save them, and it wouldn’t change the plot, that’s something to look into.

Disability activists speak often about infantilization, and this is a big thing of what they mean- a lot of casual ableism considers disabled people as basically belonging to, or being a burden onto, the able-bodied and neurotypical. This doesn’t necessarily even need to have an able neurotypical in the picture- a personal experience I had that was extremely hurtful was at a point in high school, I decided to do some research on autism for a school project. As an autistic teenager looking up resources online, I was very upset to realize that every single resource I accessed at the time presumed it was talking to a neurotypical parent about their helpless autistic child. I was looking for resources to myself, yet made to feel like I was the subject in a conversation.

Likewise, many wheelchair users have relayed the experience of, when they, in their chair, are in an environment accompanied by someone else who isn’t using a chair, strangers would speak to the standing person exclusively, avoiding addressing the chair user. 

It’s important to always remind yourself that at no point do disabled people stop being people. Yes, even people who have facial deformities; yes, even people who need help using the bathroom; yes, even people who drool; yes, even people whose conditions impact their ability to communicate, yes, even people with cognitive disabilities. They are people, they deserve dignity, and they are not “a child trapped in a 27-year-old body”- a disabled adult is still an adult. All of the “trying to learn the right rules” in the world won’t save you if you keep an underlying fear of non-normative bodies and minds.

This also has a modest overlap between disability and sexuality in particular. I am an autistic grayromantic ace. Absolutely none of my choices or inclinations about sex are because I’m too naive or innocent or childlike to comprehend the notion- disabled people have as diverse a relationship with sexuality as any other. That underlying fear- as mentioned before- can prevent many people from imagining that, say, a wheelchair user might enjoy sex and have experience with it. Make sure all of your disabled characters have full internal worlds.

Poor sickly little Tiffany and the Red Right Hand

A big part of fictional ableism is that it separates the disabled into two categories. Anybody who’s used TVTropes would recognize the latter term I used here. But to keep it brief:

Poor, sickly little Tiffany is cute. Vulnerable. How her disability affects her life is that it constantly creates a pall of suffering that she lives beneath. After all, having a non-normative mind or body must be an endless cavalcade of suffering and tragedy, right? People who are disabled clearly spend their every waking moment affected by, and upset, that they aren’t normal!

The answer is... No, actually. Cut the sad violin; even people who have chronic pain who are literally experiencing pain a lot more than the rest of us are still fully capable of living complex lives and being happy. If nothing else, it would be literally boring to feel nothing but awful, and people with major depression or other problems still, also, have complicated experiences. And yes, some of it’s not great. You don’t have to present every disability as disingenuously a joy to have. But make a point that they own these things. It is a very different feeling to have a concerned father looking through the window at his angel-faced daughter rocking sadly in her wheelchair while she stares longingly out the window, compared to a character waking up at midnight because they have to go do something and frustratedly hauling their body out of their bed into their chair to get going.

Poor Sickly Little Tiffany (PSLT, if you will) virtually always are young, and they virtually always are bound to the problems listed under ‘failing the heartwarming dog’ test. Yes, disabled kids exist, but the point I’m making here is that in the duality of the most widely accepted disabled characters, PSLT embodies the nadir of the Victim, who is so pure, so saintly, so gracious, that it can only be a cruel quirk of fate that she’s suffering. After all, it’s not as if disabled people have the same dignity that any neurotypical and able-bodied person has, where they can be an asshole and still expect other people to not seriously attack their quality of life- it’s a “service” for the neurotypical and able-bodied to “humor” them.

(this is a bad way to think. Either human lives matter or they don’t. There is no “wretched half-experience” here- if you wouldn’t bodily grab and yank around a person standing on their own feet, you have no business grabbing another person’s wheelchair)

On the opposite end- and relevant to your question- is the Red Right Hand. The Red Right Hand does not have PSLT’s innocence or “purity”- is the opposite extreme. The Red Right Hand is virtually always visually deformed, and framed as threatening for their visual deformity. To pick on a movie I like a fair amount, think about how in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, the title character is described- “Strong. Fast. Had a metal arm.” That’s a subtle example, but, think about how that metal arm is menacing. Sure, it’s a high tech weapon in a superhero genre- but who has the metal arm? The Winter Soldier, who is, while a tormented figure that ultimately becomes more heroic- scary. Aggressive. Out for blood.

The man who walks at midnight with a Red Right Hand is a signal to us that his character is foul because of the twisting of his body. A good person, we are led to believe, would not be so- or a good person would be ashamed of their deformity and work to hide it. The Red Right Hand is not merely “an evil disabled person”- they are a disabled person whose disability is depicted as symptomatic of their evil, twisted nature, and when you pair this trope with PSLT, it sends a message: “stay in your place, disabled people. Be sad, be consumable, and let us push you around and decide what to do with you. If you get uppity, if you have ideas, if you stand up to us, then the thing that made you a helpless little victim will suddenly make you a horrible monster, and justify us handling you with inhumanity.”

As someone who is a BIG fan of eldritch horror and many forms of unsettling “wrongness” it is extremely important to watch out for the Red Right Hand. Be careful how you talk about Villainous Disability- there is no connection between disability and morality. People will be good, bad, or simply just people entirely separate from their status of ability or disability. It’s just as ableist to depict every disabled person as an innocent good soul as it is to exclusively deal in grim and ghastly monsters.

Don’t justify disabilities and don’t destroy them.

Superpowers are cool. Characters can and IMO should have superpowers, as long as you’re writing a genre when they’re there.

BUT.

It’s important to remember that there is no justification for disabilities, because they don’t need one. Disability is simply a feature characters have. You do not need to go “they’re blind, BUT they can see the future”

This is admittedly shaky, and people can argue either way; the Blind Seer is a very pronounced mythological figure and an interesting philosophical point about what truly matters in the world. There’s a reason it exists as a conceit. But if every blind character is blind in a way that completely negates that disability or makes it meaningless- this sucks. People have been blind since the dawn of time. And people will always accommodate their disabilities in different ways. Even if the technology exists to fix some forms of blindness, there are people who will have “fixable” blindness and refuse to treat it. There will be individuals born blind who have no meaningful desire to modify this. And there are some people whose condition will be inoperable even if it “shouldn’t” be.

You don’t need to make your disabled characters excessively cool, or give them a means by which the audience can totally forget they’re disabled. Again, this is a place where strong worldbuilding is your buddy- a handwave of “x technology fixed all disabilities”, in my opinion, will never come off good. If, instead, however, you throw out a careless detail that the cool girl the main character is chatting up in a cyberpunk bar has an obvious spinal modification, and feature other characters with prosthetics and without- I will like your work a lot, actually. Even if you’re handing out a fictional “cure”- show the seams. Make it have drawbacks and pros and cons. A great example of this is in the series Full Metal Alchemist- the main character has two prosthetic limbs, and not only do these limbs come with problems, some mundane (he has phantom limb pains, and has to deal with outgrowing his prostheses or damaging them in combat) some more fantastical (these artificial limbs are connected to his nerves to function fluidly- which means that they get surgically installed with no anesthesia and hurt like fuck plugging in- and they require master engineering to stay in shape). We explicitly see a scene of the experts responsible for said limbs talking to a man who uses an ordinary prosthetic leg, despite the advantages of an automail limb, because these drawbacks are daunting to him and he is happier with a simple prosthetic leg.

Even in mundane accommodations you didn’t make up- no two wheelchair users use their chair the exact same way, and there’s a huge diversity of chairs. Someone might be legally blind but still navigate confidently on their own; they might use a guide dog, or they might use a cane. They might even change their needs from situation to situation!

Disability accommodations are part of life

This ties in heavily to the previous point, but seriously! Don’t just look up one model of cane and superimpose it with no modifications onto your character- think about what their lifestyle is, and what kind of person they are!

Also medication is not the devil. Yes, medical abuse is real and tragic and the medication is not magic fairy dust that solves all problems either. But also, it’s straight ableism to act like anybody needing pills for any reason is a scary edgy plot twist. 

(and addiction is a disease. Please be careful, and moreover be compassionate, if you’re writing a character who’s an addict)

3. Be mindful of cast composition

This, to me, is a big tip about disability writing and it’s also super easy to implement!

Just make sure your cast has a lot of meaningful disabled characters in it!

Have you done all the work you can to try and dodge the Red Right Hand but you’re still worried your disabled villain is a bad look? They sure won’t look like a commentary on disability if three other people in the cast are disabled and don’t have the same outlook or role! Worried that you’re PSLT-ing your main character’s disabled child? Maybe the disability is hereditary and they got it from the main character!

The more disabled characters you have, the more it will challenge you to think about what their individual relationship is with the world and the less you’ll rely on hackneyed tropes. At least, ideally.

-

Ultimately, there’s no perfect silver bullet of diversity writing that will prevent a work from EVER being ableist, but I hope this helped, at least!

[glitteryflufflepuff2003]

I know what you are...

Pairing: Human!reader x Vampire!male

Summary: How every vampire reveal scene should happen! 

Word count: 517

Warning: shock, anxiety, talk of drinking, talks of alcohol consumption, VERY PG

A/N: I started watching TVD and though about this during one of the typical “I know what you are” scenes, so enjoy :) Please like, comment and reblog. 

Feedback is Golden 

“I know what you are…” 

“Then say it.” 

“No, I want to hear it from you, I’ll only believe it if you admit to it.”

He glanced at the ground, gritting his teeth. He had been trying to avoid this moment for a long time, trying to lead you away with hints towards other people and other things that would put you off the scent. But you figure it out. Someone always did. 

“I-I’m a vampire…” He stared into your eyes, waiting, begging for you to say something, anything. 

You let out a breath that you didn’t even know you were holding, your eyes searching his anxious gaze. 

“Well that was… surprisingly underwhelming.” You shrugged, awkwardly patting him on the shoulder before continuing, “I mean, they make it seem so shocking in the movies but it’s just cringey. Like, so what? You can bite people and kill me quicker and more painful than most people... but so could a bear.” You shrugged again, this time more dramatically. This really wasn’t as startling as fiction made you think. 

“You’re-you’re not scared? Or-or worried that I might hurt you?” He seemed genuinely confused, as if you had reacted in the most outrageous way possible. 

“What? Like I care?” He only looked on, dumbfounded; you sighed and continued, “Look, darling, I’m a teenager, stuck in high school who reads books and never really had any friends, and you’re ‘surprised’ that I don’t care that you’re a vampire? Hell, I’ve enacted these kinds of scenarios in my head since I read my first fantasy novel, this is old news!” 

You shook your head and began to walk away. It took him a second to react; he flew past you in a gust of wind, stopping you in your tracks. You crossed your arms, rolling your eyes at how cliche this was becoming. 

“I could turn you!” Now he just sounded desperate. 

“Oh, please. I’d be happy for the break from my period. And at least I wouldn’t have to worry about bills or getting a job. Feels like more of a ‘win, win’ situation to me.” You smiled sweetly before pushing past him. The fact that this was happening in the woods was all too stereotypical for your liking, and it was definitely past your curfew. 

You glanced over your shoulder as you moved towards the real world. He stood stock still, frozen in place by confusion. You sighed, clicking your tongue before turning towards him once again. 

“Look, how about you come back to mine and we talk about what's true and what's myth over a bottle of whiskey? You look like you could really use a drink; what do you say?” 

He turned, nodding slowly, “Yeah, but make mine a double.” 

You chuckled, holding out your hand which he took with some caution, you saw his hesitation, “Imagine that: a vampire afraid of a human, how Edward Cullen of you.” He gazed at you as he let out a chuckle, seeming to relax a little, “Come on.” 

He smiled as you both began the journey out of the forest. 

A/N: As always, I’d love to hear what you think so please leave some feedback and reblog if you want to see more like this :) 

Taglist: open 

~empty~

[enchantzz]

ART & VAMPIRES - I - NEW ORLEANS

Amy and Mitchell travel to New Orleans to visit an old mansion. Amy gets to see more of the supernatural world than she bargained for and Mitchell is reminded of his past.

Chapters - 3

1 - The Trip

2 - The Mansion - Echoes of the past

3 - Old Friends

Art & Vampires Series - Master list and notes here

Art & Vampires is mainly about the relationship and developments around Mitchell, a vampire and Amy (Ames), a human. It’s about the vampire world, the supernatural, but also about history, cities around the world, art, antiques and adventures. Face claims vampires: Aidan Turner - John Mitchell, Richard Armitage - Rick Marlowe, Jaime Murray - Alana (Lana) Lenoir and Ben Barnes - Ben Sheldon. Humans: Mila Kunis - Amy (Ames) Quinn, Bianca Lawson - Lena Parker (witch).

1 - The Trip

“Are you ready, Ames?” Mitchell yelled from his office.

“Yep, all good to go,” Amy replied.

Amy had been working for the company for a while now and usually she travelled with Mitchell and Rick, the owners of the company to collect art in the area. This time, she would be travelling with Mitchell to New Orleans. It would be an almost seven hour trip, but with stops on the way, probably up to 8 hours, much longer than she was used to. She didn’t mind being stuck with Mitchell in a car that long though, because they got along really well. They had from the start, even before Amy set foot in the company, but she didn’t have time to reminisce. She needed to hurry.

“I’m driving,” Amy tried for the millionth time.

Mitchell just laughed and shook his head. He never let her drive. She wasn’t sure if he didn’t trust her to drive, or that he really liked driving or that maybe, he liked driving her around.

“Nice try Ames, but you know that’s not going to happen,' Mitchell said with a smile on his face and his signature twinkle in his eyes.

“Well, then I pick the music,'' Amy sulked.

“Fine with that,' Mitchell agreed and helped Amy get the luggage into the car.

It wouldn’t be the usual day trip, but they would be there for a couple of days, or maybe even as long as a week, staying over in the New Orleans townhouse, which the company owned.

VAMPs (Vintage and Art Marketing Partners), had an office in New Orleans as well. It would be their base after they had visited an old mansion for an inventory of artworks. The son, who had inherited the mansion, wanted to sell some of it, so he called in VAMPs to value the antiques and art and help sell them.

Amy hoped that she would have time to visit her best friend as well. Lena was a practicing witch, but not the stereotypical one with the pointy hat and a broomstick. She was quite “normal” as Amy once remarked. She worked in a small Witch and Magic shop, as Amy called it, which was a Metaphysical shop, as Lena had corrected her many times.

Lena and Amy had become best friends when Amy lived in New Orleans for a while, before moving to Atlanta. She had missed her and was looking forward to seeing her again. It was going to be a good trip, she decided, and settled in the seat next to Mitchell.

Amy was browsing through her Spotify playlist to find the perfect list for their road trip. It was always a bit of a hassle getting out of Atlanta, but soon, they would be on their way to New Orleans and they needed good music for such a long trip. It didn’t take long before her New Wave playlist was blasting from the speakers. Mitchell and Amy had similar taste in music, which was a relief. Imagine being stuck in a car for seven hours and having to listen to boy bands. She was horrified at the thought.

Amy did not come to this trip unprepared. She had figured out quite a bit about vampires and other supernatural things in the past months from books, ever since they had told her that they were vampires, but the material was so contradicting, she didn't know what was real and what was fiction. Amy had laughed at the thought that vampires would be running the company, just because it was called VAMPs. When they revealed to her that they were actual vampires, she could not believe it. She thought that they were playing a joke on her. However, they were dead serious and when they had revealed their vampire faces, with the black eyes and their fangs, she knew it wasn't a joke at all.

Instead of getting the hell out of there and finding another job, she was intrigued and stayed on. She had found that there was no reason to leave. After all, they hadn't harmed her and she quite liked the job. She had also become very fond of Mitchell and Rick. She did have many questions though and she was determined to ask, or rather interrogate, Mitchell during their trip. It would be the perfect opportunity. She just wasn’t too sure how to start.

She still had some time to muster up the courage to fire off her questions. Mitchell was on the phone with Rick, ironing out some details of the visit to New Orleans. The music was turned down a bit and Amy was stealing glances at him. She had caught herself staring at him in the office quite often. She just hoped that Mitchell, nor anyone else had caught her checking him out. That would be totally embarrassing. She felt her cheeks turn red at the thought alone.

On the other hand, who could blame her? Mitchell was a vampire, yes, but he was also a very handsome guy. He was tall, had gorgeous hazel eyes, lush, dark curly hair, with one stubborn curl always doing its own thing and making Amy want to grab it and put it back in its place, which she obviously didn't do, but containing herself was very hard. He always carried a smile on his face, his eyes twinkling when he laughed. He was mostly good humored and very friendly. And then there was his Irish accent! Amy had a thing for Irish accents. It totally made her weak. She loved listening to him talk and she was concentrating on the conversation. Every now and then, Mitchell burst out in full laughter, throwing his head back, automatically putting a smile on Amy’s face. His laugh was so contagious.

When Mitchell finally hung up, they were already out of Atlanta and on the highway to New Orleans. Here we go, Amy thought, hoping to remember her mental list of questions.

What she definitely was NOT going to ask, was how he became a vampire. This seemed a bit too personal and intimate. She was dying to know, but she wouldn't ask. There were so many more questions, like why did they tell her in the first place, did they really drink human blood, were they able to fly, did they have super speed and super hearing, and so much more.

'Ames, are you still with me? Daydreaming again, are you?' Mitchell grinned. He had caught her daydreaming in the office a couple of times. He didn't mind, because it gave him time to study Amy without her noticing it. She was quite beautiful with her long brown hair, her mesmerizing eyes, which had different colors, her right eye being brown and her left green and her perfect smile. But it wasn't just her good looks that appealed to him. She was smart too and this, in combination with her determination and curiosity, had made him become quite fond of her.

Amy snapped from her thoughts. 'I have questions.'

'OK. About? The job?'

'No, actually, about the whole vampire thing. If you don't mind?'

'No, not at all, ask away.'

'Sooo, how did you become a vampire?’ she blurted out. Amy could kick herself. Why would she ask that? That was the ONE question she was not going to ask.

'I'm sorry,' she quickly added. ‘That was not… if you don't want to... '

'No, no,' Mitchell turned to her, 'it's fine. Ask away. I know we dropped this whole vampire thing on you and we haven't really talked about any of it. It's understandable that you have questions.'

Amy let out a sigh of relief.

'So, how did I become a vampire? Well, it was in the war, over two centuries ago and I was a soldier and at some point the bad guys had killed most of my platoon and I nearly died too and then Rick found me and he turned me into a vampire.'

'That's it?' Amy asked after a couple of seconds of silence, half expecting more to the story.

'Yeah, that's it.' Mitchell turned to look at her. 'The short version at least. Why? Did you expect a story of rituals and ceremonies and cloaks and fire and gatherings? Because that only happens in movies and stories you know,' he said amused.

'No, no, it's just that, you know... I don't know... Thank you for telling me. It seemed like a very personal thing. I maybe shouldn't have asked.'

'Nah, not at all, and you know, it was such a long time ago and you are not the first person to ask me this. Hence the short version. I guess I've told the story so many times that I have broken it down to this.'

'Right, right,' Amy nodded.

'Come on. What else would you like to know? I bet there is more, I bet you have a whole list?'' Mitchell tapped his fingers on the wheel excitedly.

He couldn't have been more right.

'Yeah, so why did you guys tell me? I would have thought it best to keep something like that a secret.'

'Oh Ames, there would have been no way to keep it from you. You would have found out eventually anyway being so curious and resourceful and all. Rick and I discussed if we should tell you or not, but in the end, we had a good feeling about you and I foresaw a long lasting relationship with you... I mean work relationship, not… like you and me relationship…' Mitchell stumbled and averted his eyes, suddenly concentrating very hard on the road.

Fortunately, Amy didn't seem to notice the awkwardness and now that the ice was broken, Amy fired off one question after the other and Mitchell happily answered them all, giving Amy a bit more insight into the whole vampire lure and what was myth and what was not.

'So what about mirrors? She asked.

'What about them?'

'Can you see your reflection?'

'Of course I can!' he laughed. 'How else am I going to do my hair? Let alone shave?' And remember that antique shop just outside of Atlanta that we visited last month? You saw my reflection there a dozen times.'

'Right, stupid. I remember. It was like being in a fun house,' she remembered and laughed at her question too.

'OK. Can I take a picture of you and will you be in it?', she asked.

'My God, which books did you read?' he laughed. Yes, our image can be captured, but we try to avoid it for practical reasons. You can only use the excuse that you look like your grandfather so many times. Since we don't age, we need to be careful that we are not recorded and get discovered that way. It's getting more difficult in this age with all the social media and cameras being everywhere. We are fortunate to be in this business, since most contacts are one off or the owners of the antiques have already passed away and no photos or videos of us are involved, but for others, like Ben, my long time buddy, who is a doctor, it's much more difficult to stay off the radar.'

'Wait. your buddy is a vampire and a doctor?' Amy asked. 'That must come in handy with the blood supply then? '

'Yeah, about that,' Mitchell started, now with a serious expression. 'That is another myth. We don't necessarily need to drink blood to survive 'Rick, Ben and I haven't, you know… ' he didn’t finish the sentence.

Amy noticed that Mitchell was getting uncomfortable. It must be pretty hard to talk about that.

'Yeah, I get what you are saying, ' she said quickly. 'Next question', she joyfully added to lighten the mood and frankly, she wasn't sure she was ready for that aspect of the whole vampire thing.

For the next couple of hours, they talked more about vampires, Mitchell's past, music, movies, travel, but also about Amy. It was a perfect opportunity for both of them to get to know each other a little better.

Around lunch time, Mitchell pulled into a parking lot at a roadside diner. 'Let's grab a bite,' he said.

'You're not going to eat ME are you?' Amy remarked jokingly.

'What? No, no of course not, not literally I'm not, I mean, also not the other eating… Mitchell stopped talking, then quickly added without meeting her eyes, 'Look, there's no eating... you … OK… food, we're eating food.' He fumbled with the car keys and then quickly got out of the car.

Amy could slap herself. Maybe she should just shut up for the rest of the trip. They still had a long way to go and she didn't know if she could handle more awkwardness.

Fortunately, during lunch, they quickly went back to chatting and laughing and just having fun, the awkward moments all but forgotten.

After lunch, back on the road, they continued chatting and even singing along to Amy's playlist, time flew by and they would soon arrive at their destination. They would arrive an hour earlier because of the time zone difference, which was nice. It would give them a bit longer to get a first impression and also to take some time to rest from the drive before meeting the owner.

When they finally pulled into the driveway to the mansion, Amy couldn't believe her eyes. She had seen many mansions during her time in New Orleans, but this one was exceptionally beautiful. And it was huge too. It must be full of historical treasures and art. She couldn't help but get very excited.

Mitchell noticed Amy's excitement and he smiled to himself, knowing that he had made the right decision to bring her along.

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

What will Amy and Mitchell find in the mansion? Find out in Chapter 2.

[ninma]

A look at Dream's punishment through irl rules and taking into account UN's rules regarding prisons. Because it is just interesting and it proves how there is NO justification for it. But mostly because it's interesting to look at and you may learn a thing or two.

I have seen too many times people trying to justify Dream's punishment. I did research and read through multiple articles and documents (over 73 pages of two different documents) about the more legal sides of his punishment. While Quackity's physical torture is obvious, I am here to address that even before that it was still very illegal. I know it is fictional! This is just a look into the real life facts and rules regarding prisons because it is interesting to look at Dream's punishment and Pandora's Vault under the light of these. So keep that in mind while reading this!

Welcome to my ted talk with actual facts and be prepared for quite the ride!

While yes, he has done bad things...however he has not done something so bad that he deserves a punishment so cruel that it's considered too inhumane for even mass murderers. Like actually! Stay tooned and you'll see what I mean.

His sentence is indefinite solidary confinement. Which is defined by the united nations as:

"the confinement of prisoners for 22 hours or more a day without meaningful human contact."

This means his punishment fits the definition for all his time (including visits) except when Tommy was locked inn and now with Quackity (although I'd consider the last one a turn for the worse). Now that we have that cleared up- lets get into the rule breaking. But first, let me introduce you to The Mandela Rules!

"The Mandela Rules reinforce human rights principles, including

 the recognition of the absolute prohibition of torture and other cruel, inhuman

 or degrading treatment or punishment and effective guidance 

to national prison administrations for persons deprived of their liberty"

Now that we have established that, lets get into this concerning fact train!

Rule 43

1. In no circumstances may restrictions or disciplinary sanctions amount to torture or other cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

The following practices, in particular, shall be prohibited:

(a) Indefinite solitary confinement;

(b) Prolonged solitary confinement;

(c) Placement of a prisoner in a dark or constantly lit cell;

(d) Corporal punishment or the reduction of a prisoner’s diet or drinking water;

(e) Collective punishment.

Yeah...pretty clear breaking of 4/5 there. They can't even break e! Not to mention the pretty explicit breaking of d that was probably a surprise. You can count it as them breaking 4/4 if you count the fact that they can’t even break e. Rest assured my friend, this is just the beginning.

Rule 44

For the purpose of these rules, solitary confinement shall refer to the confinement of prisoners for 22

 hours or more a day without meaningful human contact. Prolonged solitary confinement shall refer to 

solitary confinement for a time period in excess of 15 consecutive days.

Already broken this one too huh. Even visiting days counts because I don't think anyone has been there for hours and I also don't think Sam's interactions would be long enough or count as meaningful human contact. The time with Tommy and Quackity is the only time it dosen't count as solidary. So this is getting...very much concerinng. But this is still only the start.

Rule 45

1. Solitary confinement shall be used only in exceptional cases as a last

 resort*, for as* short a time as possible and subject to independent

 review, and only pursuant to the authorization by a competent authority. It

 shall not be imposed by virtue of a prisoner’s sentence.

2. The imposition of solitary confinement should be prohibited in the case

 of prisoners with mental or physical disabilities when their conditions

 would be exacerbated by such measures

Woops...so not only is it illegal as a punishment...but also the "he is a psychopath" argument (which is already a bad stereotype, but I won't get into psychology here. It's a common misconception and c!Tommy not knowing is almost to be expected. However please do not say that someone, character or real person, have a mental disorder or illness without proper knowledge about psychology and in the case of characters we shouldn’t put labels unless the writer has said that they have taken mental disorders or illnesses into account when making the character) just got yeeted out the window. Actually that argument just took a loop and now is an argument for the other side. It makes sense because as it says: it exacerbates their preexisting mental illnesses. Which is why it's prohibited. 

"In no case may a detainee’s contact with the outside world be

 dependent on his or her cooperativeness, be used as a disciplinary

 sanction or form part of the sentence."

  - Special Rapporteur on Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment, Civil and Political Rights, Including the Questions of Torture and Detention, ¶ 43, Comm’n on Human Rights,

“…The medical officer should visit prisoners held in solitary confinement

 every day, on the understanding that such visits should be in the interests

 of the prisoners ’ health. Furthermore, prisoners held in solitary

 confinement for more than 12 hours should have access to fresh air for at

 least 1 hour each day” - Subcomm. on Prevention of Torture [SPT]

Wow Sam...it is almost impressive in a dark way just how explicitly these are broken. The Warden's very punishments for disobedience just straight up counts as torture. And for the obvious record I highly doubt Quackity's daily visits to the green bloob counts as anything but 'the interests of the prisoners' health'. You can disagree here...but I am being very sarcastic.

Rule 22

1. Every prisoner shall be provided by the prison administration at the

usual hours with food of nutritional value adequate for health and

strength, of wholesome quality and well prepared and served.

Raw potatoes every day for the rest of your life..eehhh no thanks. If Dream ever gets out he will probably join me in the 'eating potatoes trauma' box. As funny as that sounds, it isn't a joke. I was force fed potatoes as a child and I hated it to the point where it gave me a mental block that stops me from eating them as my body just does not want to swallow it. It's a problem. But I can joke about it. Maybe Tommy will join us too, although it wasn't really the eating potatoes that caused that trauma...rip. Rest in anything but potatoes.

Rule 42

General living conditions addressed in these rules, including those related

to light, ventilation, temperature, sanitation, nutrition, drinking water,

access to open air and physical exercise, personal hygiene, health care

and adequate personal space, shall apply to all prisoners without

 exception.

I think it's pointless to say more on that topic as it's pretty much already summed up. Let us now move over to what are probably some of the qoutes so specific that it's scary.

“Furthermore, [the Committee] is concerned about the use of solitary

 confinement for indefinite periods of time.... Full isolation of 22 to 23

 hours a day in supermaximum security prisons is unacceptable

(art. 16).” - Committee. against Torture [CAT]

Oh wow.. talk about on the nose. I should've just started with this one as it pretty much says pretty clearly how it is unacceptable. Like yikes...can you get more specific? It is just downright ridiculous at this point. (-_-;)

“Solitary confinement, when used for the purpose of punishment,

 cannot be justified for any reason, precisely because it imposes severe

 mental pain and suffering beyond any reasonable retribution for

 criminal behaviour and thus constitutes an act defined in article 1 or article

 16 of the Convention against Torture, and a breach of article 7 of the

 International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights."

Ahaha...ha....yeah for those who justify it...the convention against torture is very much against it being justified...Imagine if the characters could read these rules, that'd be interesting. Although I am pretty sure they don't follow realism for the imprisonment. As I have already said; this is just an interesting look at the irl rules and how Dream's punishment and Pandora's Vault stand under light of them.

“No prisoner, including those serving life sentence [sic] and prisoners on

 death row, shall be held in solitary confinement merely because of the

 gravity of the crime.”

 - Special Rapporteur on Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment

Like...there are no loopholes here. It is so extremely clear that it truly is darkly impressive how the characters don't seem to have a second thought about this. How do you accidentally sentence someone to a lifetime of torture without realizing? If they do know...It'd be very dark.

Btw Tommy's exile and his time in prison doesn't count as solidary confinement. Just to clear that up.

It amazes me how badly they break these rules...I know they probably didn't take the realism into consideration. However it is still kind of darkly impressive. Especially considering how scary specific they break them too. Even though this is just a interesting (I was about to write fun, however I wouldn't count realizing how inhuman the prison is is 'fun'. But it is interesting) look at Dream's punishment and Pandora's Vault under the light of real life rules for prisons. (lol my paranoid self have said this so much)

These facts also proves how saying it's justified...is kind of morally bad. Not attacking anyone! I just want to also say how while it is pure fiction and the characters in the story can have whatever opinion they want as they are characters. However when it comes to fans approving and justifying it without taking time to consider how it really isn't something that can be justified (real or no). You can have whatever opinion you want, however just maybe take some of what you have learned today and reflect over it? To think twice after having received new information dosen't hurt. I am not here to tell you what to think, so rest easy. Only to share some facts^^ (*so obviously scared of offending anyone*)

I recommend taking some time to look it up yourself if you want to look further into it. The psychological aspects of it is also interesting to look at!

I hope you have learned something here today and found this post and my research interesting! I spent hours on this so I hope you have enjoyed this! I originally posted this on reddit and I was very surprised at how many stopped by to read it and therefore I choose to post it here as well because you learn something and hopefully also gained a new perspective. 

Ninma over and out!

[ignooy-nim]

‘Scrawny’ - Yang Jeongin Story

> chapter three - DNA

tw / cw : slight cursing, mentions of anxiety, high levels of stress ... SLOW-BURN

story summary : jeongin never thought he'd ever find what he was looking for, but all along it was at the convenience store. / mia hated the re-runs of sappy kdramas that would play on the tv at the convenience store; that is, until her life became a sappy kdrama.

a/n : THIS STORY DOES NOT DEPICT THE REALITIES OF ANYONE IN STRAY KIDS OR ANY OTHER IDOL THAT MAY BE MENTIONED, THIS IS ONLY FICTION... hope you enjoy ♡

ps, this story takes takes place around mid - late 2019, and will continue into 2020 / 2021

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>   “Hate to say hello 'cause I know that it means goodbye. Hate to ask, but what's it like to leave me behind?” - ‘DNA’, lia marie johnson

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Ever since Mia was younger, it always felt like it was her and her dad versus the entire world; from when she was learning how to ride a bike without training wheels and scraped both of her knees on the pavement, to when they moved across the world to South Korea with nothing but a few of their most prized possessions and their hope for a better future.

Of course, she hated having to leave Canada, as well as all of her childhood friends and memories behind, but she knew something better was waiting for her, and her dad, elsewhere. For the first few months, adapting felt almost impossible - as the culture shock hit her pretty hard even though it wasn’t her first time in Korea. But, with hard work, perseverance and the passing of time, both Mia and her dad fit right in, and felt as if they were home - which they were.

However, Mia couldn’t help but imagine the short, pale woman with long, stringy black hair in any crowd she found herself in. The same woman who she shared many features with, like her rounded nose and square jaw - features that Mia detested. She always tries to push these hallucinations into the back of her mind, but that doesn’t stop the quickening of her heart and dropping of her stomach whenever her cell phone rings, in fear that one day it will be her mom.

Mia’s dad always appeared to face these kinds of things head-on, with no fear. But the truth is, Daniel Lee, like his daughter, dreads the day when his ex-wife attempts to come back into their lives, because now they both have more to lose.

“Got any sevens?” Mia asked her dad from across the coffee table, as the two competed against one another in a rigorous game of ‘Go Fish’.

Sighing in defeat, her dad passes over three sevens, “How do you always know?” He grinned before settling back down into his spot on the couch. “Any twos, kid?”

“Go Fish~” She smirked and did a little wiggle in her seat to rub it in as her dad picked up a new card from the deck.

“You're really playing with no mercy on your old man, huh?” Her dad laughed, rearranging his cards.

“How can I give you a card that I don’t even have?” Mia laughed in return, feeling it in the depths of her stomach.

Rolling his eyes, her dad responds, “Fair enough…” Before letting his daughter take her next turn, he speaks up, “So… I heard from Uncle Peter that you took an extra two shifts next weekend. Shouldn’t you be focusing on your schooling, or maybe - I don’t know - hanging out with your friends?”

“Do you have any sixes?” Mia interjected, momentarily collecting the two cards from her dad before commenting on his statement. “I need the extra money - I know I’m going to school to be an artist, but that doesn’t mean I have to be the stereotypical ‘starving and broke artist’.”

Snorting, her dad pushes on, “I know that, Mia, but you are also still young, and college should be four years of some of your best memories, not four years of scraping gum from under the tables and dirt off of the floors of the convenience store… Uncle Peter and Aunt Ara even agree.”

She let his words bounce around in her head for a second, taking them in before responding, “I have good memories… Like the time Nisa, Jiwon, Titi and I went to Lotte World for Jiwon’s birthday this past spring. Or all of the sleepovers we’ve had at each other's dorms and somehow always end up burning our mac & cheese cups in the microwave… I do have memories, dad…”

“I know, but… You just haven’t been out in a while.”

Mia scoffed, rolling her eyes, “I get out…  I’m out right now!”

Her dad watched her knowingly before responding with a sigh, “You might get out Mia, but right now, it’s Saturday night and you are at home playing ‘Go Fish’ with your dad, when you could be out-out with your friends, who I am sure would love your company.”

Sitting in silence, momentarily wondering what her friend group was up to at this very moment, Mia came to the conclusion that her dad was just speaking nonsense like all dads do every once in a while. “It’s your turn.”

Giving into his daughter’s stoic expression, he responds, “Have any ones?” To which Mia passed him two of her own cards in defeat.

The two fell back into their comfortable rhythm, eventually forgetting all about their conversation, relishing in their miniscule time spent together.

Mia would never admit it, but unlike her peers, she liked going home every weekend to spend time with her dad (and to take a warm shower). Subconsciously, however, Mia felt as if it were her duty to keep an eye on her dad - as if she were the one raising him.

- As if one day, if she were to leave, he would just crumble into one million pieces.

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Sweat dripped down Jeongin’s face as he slid down the cold wall of the practice room, heart pounding loudly in his ears and breathing staggered. 

Stray Kids had been practicing day and night for their next comeback, which was to arrive in just a few minuscule months, making their breaks short and few. 

"Here -" Hyunjin, just beginning to catch his own breath, walked towards the youngest member and passed his cold water bottle over to him. 

Jeongin thanked him quietly before waterfalling the cool liquid and swallowing it in large gulps, feeling it's chill travel through his body temporarily. 

Without realizing it, he had finished the bottle, giving a guilty look to his bandmate who just waved him off.

"Don't worry, I'll get another one, Innie." Hyunjin walked to the opposite side of the room where the bottles of water were kept, leaving the younger boy alone in the corner with his throbbing head. 

Days like this, with aching limbs, sweat patches all over his clothes, and a thirst that just can't be quenched, made Jeongin think more than usual. He thought about the nights he had before Stray Kids was even an idea - the training that he once found rigorous is now childsplay to him, finding the 5 hour trainee periods almost laughable. 

Fondly he remembered how on some days when he finished training early, he'd take a day trip to his family's home in Busan, where he would spend the weekend. 

Sometimes Jeongin would see some old friends on the train or on the streets of his hometown, actually being able to enjoy their youth to the fullest, while he was working close to 24 hours everyday to perfect his skills as a performer - fearing that one day it would all slip from his fingertips if he didn't work hard enough. 

Even with gratitude and pride coursing through his veins from being a part of Stray Kids, a small part of him longed for that same freedom his hometown friends have. 

He wanted to not have to wake up at ungodly hours just to work straight through to the next day. 

To not have to ask permission for every little thing he wanted to do. 

To not have to be restricted.

Once you're an idol, everything about your life becomes everyone else's business, and if it doesn't fit their idealizations that they created of you, then they get mad, and your career can end as soon as it started. 

Jeongin knew he wasn't the only one who felt this split deep inside, but for some reason this realization always seemed to make him feel disconnected - lonely. 

Curling his knees up to his chest, he took his head in his hands, resting his sweaty forehead onto his palms, feeling his blood pump through his temples. With his fingers brushing through his fringe, he hoped that he could make these foolish thoughts stop.

He quickly racked his brain for anything to keep his mind off his loneliness; ice-cream was the first thing to surface amidst the ocean of his thoughts. 

Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry - the various flavors clouded his senses. A sugary sweet scent mixed with fruity undertones. He imagined the cool sensation in his mouth and the fulfillment he'd feel after the first scoop. 

There really was nothing like a tub of ice cream that would make Jeongin feel like a kid again. 

Being woken up out of his daydreaming by his rumbling stomach, he searched around the practice room with eyes hooded from the intense lighting. The other members of Stray Kids were practicing their individual parts and hyping eachother up. 

The group's leader, Chan, realized the youngest member's disconnect, and wandered over to him. 

"You okay?" He gave him a brief pat on the head. 

Jeongin collected himself, "Yeah, just kinda hungry." 

Nodding, the older boy shifted his weight, "Well, practice is almost over I think, so when we get home we can order some food in." 

"Actually.. I think I'm going to just pick up some ice cream, and call it a night." 

The leader stifled a laugh, amused at the younger boy's craving. "Oh yeah? That's not very filling, make sure you get something else with it too then, okay?" 

"Okay." Jeongin agreed, attempting to appear more energized. 

Chan reached his hand out to help the maknae up from his seat on the floor, which Jeongin took with gratitude, letting the older boy give him a quick pat on his back before leading them back into the middle of the room to finish out their practice. 

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By the time Jeongin could leave practice, the black canvas above his head was already speckled with hundreds of little stars - each one brighter than the last. His feet hit the ground quickly, hoping the convenience store was still open this late on a Saturday… And that Mia was there to ring him up, but that’s besides the point. 

The closer he got to the store, the more his stomach rumbled and his heart flipped with joy. The heavy exhaustion that once controlled his being was slowly lifting as he saw the soft glow of the neon ‘Open’ sign on the glass door. 

Like all the other times he'd venture here on his nightly travels, he entered the building comfortably, readying himself to throw back whatever shit Mia was going to give him this time.

But the kind face that greeted him when he walked through the door wasn't hers, but rather an older man with a graying beard.

"Hello!" the man spoke, he had a bright smile on his face.

Jeongin felt something inside him drop, as if he was on a roller coaster and was barreling 70 meters to the ground at top speed.

Shaking himself out of his disappointment, he responded half-heartedly, "Hello."

He walked down the aisles filled with minor confusion. 'Mia is always here..' he thought to himself, deciding not to make it into something he knew it wasn't.

At the end of the aisle he stood in, Jeongin could see the rows of ice cream practically calling his name. But something in his stomach had changed, making him feel less hungry than he was before.

Giving up on his wish for ice cream, Jeongin walked to the soda coolers and picked out just a bottle of Coke instead, hoping that his bandmates left some take-out for him.

Approaching the front counter made him feel nervous, but not for the same reason when it was Mia. 'What if she got fired?' his thoughts bubbled quickly in his mind.

"This all, son?" The older man asked after scanning the bottle of Coke.

Jeongin nodded, "Yes sir.."

"Alright, that will be ₩1,600." He spoke, still maintaining a kind gaze.

Handing him enough money for the soda, Jeongin thanked him and left as soon as he arrived, now feeling unfulfilled and just as lonely as before.

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> MASTERLIST

tag-list: @lovely-manette @jeonstresour @yeongstar @mariafeh @super-btstrash-posts @stray-kids-goddess

(dm / comment if you want to be added to the tag-list)

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