#in my mind those three weeks consisted of them taking turns with the one shared mental spoon

[samamakhalid]

I'm genuinely happy for your happiness if your brain's perfect scritch is Jon taking care of Martin from Lonely symptoms in a safehouse au, but those fics premises are always so funny to me like

You're telling me we looked at the same s4 Jon, held upright by a conveniently aimed gust of wind, and went yeah! that's the stabilizing element Martin's recovery was missing! Jon's a little banged up after being abandoned to supernatural torture, but he owes it to Martin for being snarky three years ago! Martin got spooky depression over jon's poorly timed coma, Jon got off easy with his boring clinical depression! Jon can be the load barring pillar in this relationship by simply opting out of a breakdown!

[wlwloverwrites]

Come on Kitty

Pairing: Yelena Belova x Reader

Warnings: afab!reader, heavy pet play, mention of collars and leash, using kitty as a nickname, light dumbification, tasting yourself, fingering, praise kink, oral sex, 18+ Smut minors dni

Summary: Yelena has a hard time controlling herself ever since she saw you wearing some pretty cat ears.

Main Masterlist

DO NOT STEAL OR REPOST ANY OF MY WORKS ON ANY OTHER PLATFORMS. NO ONE HAS MY PERMISSION TO DO SO.

The two cat ears standing on top of your head seem to capture Yelena’s full and undivided attention. Testing the waters you snap a finger in front of her, but her bright eyes don’t blink, carrying on with her intense stare.

“Yelena.”

Your sweet voice pulls your girlfriend out of her daze and she hums in response.

“It’s nothing serious, I just forgot to take them off,” you say as your hands reach to take the headband off. Before you can blink your hands are stopped by your girlfriend’s before she shakes her head.

“No. Leave them on. I think they are cute,” she says, signaling for you to continue your conversation. There is no hidden emotion in her tone, just a simple statement so you listen, give her a smile, and continue talking about the last couple of hours you spent with Kate. You explain how Kate insisted you buy the ears for the upcoming themed party she invited you to.

Weeks go by and the cat ears are never brought up again, nor are they worn again, at least not after the party. Instead, the ears haunt Yelena in her sleep. The pointy, black, fuzzy ears take up her thoughts in her mind and she can’t shake the image of you wearing them, sitting pretty on your knees looking up at her. She can picture your face leaning into the palm of her hand as she pets you.

Over the course of three weeks her dreams consist of you crawling towards her as she tugs softly at your leash. Her eyes move wildly beneath her eyelids as she dreams how her fingers tighten a leather collar around your neck. She hums in her sleep when a soft jingle coming from the gold bell attached to your collar meets her ears.

The dreams are sweet and innocent for the first two weeks. Maybe up to the start of the third. However, those dreams take a drastic turn when the black cat ears reappear on top of your shared bed.

Yelena, trained to overcome anything and everything, is frozen at the entrance of your shared room. Flashes of you wearing the ears, meowing at her, and whining for pets replay in her head. These corrupt images make her curse before she walks out with her cheeks flushing.

As if the images were a preview to her dreams, later that night, Yelena’s dreams are then filled with you beneath her whining her name as she holds your hips in place. She vividly remembers the dirty words she whispers into your ear as you reach closer and closer to your second - no third orgasm.

“Come on Kitty, let go for me.”

Yelena wakes up panting after that dream. The ache between her legs has her cursing under her breath, even more so when her sitting upright wakes you.

You moan softly, using your hand to rub your sleep away from your eyes, “Another nightmare?”

Yelena is silent for a second, stuck deciding whether or not to lie. Should she say yes or admit she has been dreaming of petting, loving, and fucking you?

Luckily, you assume it’s the first instead of the latter based on her silence. She sighs when she feels your warm hand rub her thigh. Your touch is supposed to be comforting, but it only fuels her ache.

“What was it this time?” You whisper, worrying if you spoke any louder Yelena would break down. If that did happen, it would not be the first time.

“It was you.”

You nod, blinking away the bit of sleep that lingers. Waiting for her to keep talking, you rake her finger through her tangled bed hair. Gently tugging at her knots, Yelena leans into your touch.

“You were so pretty. You are pretty, kitty.”

The name slips out, but not by accident.

“Kitty?” You ask slightly thrown off.

Yelena only nods before climbing on top of you, letting the bedsheet pool at her waist. Her thighs trap yours and her eyes are blinking slowly at you letting you know what type of dream she really had.

Yelena smirks when you make the connection.

“It was the cat ears, huh?” Your soft chuckle is cut short when Yelena leans down to press a kiss on your lips. Your hands find her waist and your thumbs slip under some band t-shirt she typically wears to sleep. The altered and loose neckline gives you the perfect view of her breasts with her on top of you, so you tug at her t-shirt. It’s a silent beg for skin contact.

“Nuh uh,” Yelena shakes her head. Detaching your hands from her waist, she pins them above your head. “Keep your paws to yourself, kitty.”

Her words make you gasp, this is a new side of your girlfriend. Never has she shown any interest in these types of dynamics. She was always satisfied with softer sex and sweet pet names, never real pet names.

Her hands pinning yours down squeeze your wrists softly, a silent instruction to keep them there. She gives you a soft kiss before climbing off your lap, her booty shorts give you a preview of what she is going to let you see later making you smile. You wait patiently on the bed with your hands on top of your head, resting on the pillows as your girlfriend searches your drawers. You can feel the excitement radiating off Yelena’s skin when she finds the ears that sparked this new fantasy.

She raises the ears to your hairline as she signals you to lift your head. Carefully, the ears rest on your head, and Yelena is weary of the headband so it doesn’t tug or dig into the skin behind your ears. You smile at her thoughtfulness and almost lift your hand to caress her face, but you remember her rule, paws to yourself.

“You’re pushing against me like you’re in heat.”

Your eyes widen as you look down. She’s right. Somehow your legs have wrapped around Yelena’s waist as your hips roll to find any type of pleasure. Despite the nonchalant front Yelena displays, her panties are equally as wet as yours, if not more. It takes every bit of control in her to not bury herself between your thighs. The only thing that keeps her from licking your slick is the hungry fantasy she intends to fulfill tonight.

Her hands still your rolling hips before her hands slip under your shorts. She expertly slips her eager finger past your plain cotton underwear as she gathers your slick onto her fingers. The tips of her fingers tease your entrance. They teasingly dip inside your leaking hole and quickly move to ghost over your clit. The action causes your jaw to twitch, she glances up at your hands that clench themselves into small fists.

“Have a small taste,” Yelena says as she brings her wet fingers to your lips. As if she can read your mind, Yelena pulls her fingers away before you can get your mouth to wrap around her middle and ring fingers. “No. Small taste,” she shakes her head.

Confused, you look up at her.

More of your slick builds up when she tilts her head to the side, she mocks you, “Dumb kitty. You don’t know what a small taste is? Stick out your tongue.”

She almost hisses when you stick out your tongue with your mouth wide open. Slowly, you put the clues together and retract your tongue until only the tip peeks past your lips. Immediately you are met with praise and the familiar taste of yourself, “There you go, Kitty.”

Yelena repeatedly feeds you your slick on her fingers by brushing them against your tongue in short and slow motions. This creates the illusion of your kitten licking her fingers and when you get the hint you bob your head so you’re the one licking and she isn’t the one feeding your own slick.

“Such a good kitty.”

Your drool pools on her fingers and she laughs. Before you can beg, her fingers are back home and tease your entrance. The eyes you give her are enough for her to show you mercy. Two, wet fingers pushing themselves inside you and you whine loudly when she slowly builds a rhythm.

“Want to hear all your pretty meows.” She whispers in your ear. “Okay, kitty?”

You nod harshly as your hands grip the soft pillow above you. Your nails scratch at the soft pillowcase and suddenly Yelena is jealous of the inanimate object, however, before she can say anything, one particular thrust of her fingers makes you moan.

Poor pillow, it’s only fair Yelena saves it from you right?

“Touch me.” It’s a simple order, but you don’t even know where to touch first.

Your hands slip under her t-shirt. Fingertips drag against her soft skin before they reach up to her breast. You playfully tug at her nipples and smile when she whines. Your left hand gets lost in her wild, bed head and your right kneads her breast, almost like a cat.

Yelena kisses you like her life depends on it; however, she never loses focus on her working fingers. She breathes you in and curls her two - nope three fingers inside you. Her tongue licks your bottom lip and her teeth come out to play. The lewd sound of your mouths fills the room and it makes you shy.

Her fingers don’t stop, instead they work harder and faster. She matches her fingers with every roll of your hips. You swear you almost pur when Yelena whispers sweet praises in your ear. She whispers how good of a kitty you are and how she wants to buy a pretty collar. Maybe even buy you a bowl with your name on it.

“Please.”

“Should get you a tail to match these ears?”

Those words trigger your release and you’re moaning into your girlfriend’s neck. Smug, Yelena finds your lips once again and lets you ride out your orgasm until you’re a twitching mess.

Nevertheless, you still whine loudly when she pulls away from your lips and throbbing pussy.

Yelena is out of bed before you can even blink. She stands at the edge of the bed and tilts her head, calling you over. It takes a second for you to adjust and she doesn’t blame you, instead she gives you new directions, “Crawl to me.”

You blink. You’re wet between your thighs and your heart beats rapidly in your chest. Like the good cat you are, your hands and knees meet the cold floor. Every step has you falling deeper into a floaty headspace where you only want to moan Yelena’s name and lean into her touch.

“That’s it, Kitty. Almost there,” she praises, only after she has licked your remaining wetness off her fingers.

Yelena hums when your head perks up the second she clicks her tongue the same way she does when she sees a stray on a street. Her eyes stop at the ears resting on your head and then at your crawling figure.

With one last step, you reach Yelena’s feet. Obediently, you sit your ass on your heels and place your hands flat between your legs where you feel incredibly empty. A quiet sound escapes your lips when Yelena pets the top of your head. Her hand trails down to your cheek and neck before she tilts your chin up.

“You pur so pretty for me.”

You want to whine when her hand leaves you, but you’re rewarded with Yelena stepping out of her sleeping shorts and her nudging your face between her legs.

“Kitten licks, okay? Just like we practiced.”

You nod quickly before the tip of your tongue gently licks the heaven between your girlfriend’s thighs. The thigh that suddenly hooks over your shoulder muffles your girlfriend’s soft sighs which leaves you a little sad.

“Such a good kitty,” she praises yet again. You don’t know how it’s possible but Yelena pushes you closer to her before moaning, “Keep going.”

Her taste drips onto your tongue and your hands itch to touch her. You bob your head up and down with every lock which causes the ears on your head to slip forward. The sight of your ears bouncing with every lick has Yelena cursing before looking up at the ceiling. Her sighs get louder and heavier with each lick and you know she’s close. Usually your girlfriend needs a bit more than just your tongue to get off, but you have underestimated her love for your ears.

“Come on Kitty. Ah-” she cuts herself off with a loud moan when you suck her swollen clit into your mouth. Yelena chants your name, forgetting about your new nickname as the seal finally breaks. You let Yelena ride your face until her hips twitch, overstimulated.

When Yelena comes down from her high, she praises you and whispers a sweet ‘I love you’ before slipping the cat ears off your head. You chuckle when you see a very prominent blush on her cheeks. You had no clue your girlfriend had this fantasy, but you’re glad she finally acted on it.

Giggling to yourself you hold Yelena’s stretched out hand and let her lead you to your shared bathroom. With your empty hand you playfully hook your nails to Yelena’s band t-shirt.

“Thank you,” you say shyly.

The way you hide yourself from her stare makes her smile, because she should be the one thanking you. You’re the one that let her make her fantasies come true. She smiles softly at you before pulling you in for a sweet kiss, tugging off your shirt and sleeping shorts. Her lips leave for a few seconds and you stand in the middle of the bathroom as you watch Yelena set the tub for your shared bath.

“I should be thanking you, Kitty.”

You smile and pray that your new nickname sticks.

I love reading yall’s comments and tags. Please reblog or comment. If you’re shy, send an anonymous ask

[bumblebeerror]

It’s been on my mind today but I need you to know.

Hitting 25 has been one of the best things to ever happen to me.

I don’t say this lightly - I lost my father who I loved dearly at age 18, I grew up a bit above the poverty line and now only *just* live above it. I’ve been treated for severe mental illness and learning disabilities since I was a child, starting at 6 years old. I have a physical disability and chronic pain. I have had some bad fuckin times, I’ve been through my share, and I’ll go through more I’m sure.

But I can tell you I feel so much better mentally at age 25, unable to stand for more than an hour or so without severe pain, on a consistent schedule of prescribed pain pills, discovering just how hard I was masking some pretty serious autism, struggling with my ADHD meds being less effective, and only leaving the house three total times a week because I’m immunocompromised than I was at age 13 when “all my problems were school”.

Because at age 10, nobody close to me had ever died before. At age 11, I had never lived in a new place before. At age 12, I had never felt so cold and empty and tired. I’d never endured my peers teasing me for crying about a death in my family. At age 13 I had never felt like I wanted to die before then, like the world was on fire, like it was ending. At age 14 I hadn’t known what it felt like to have period cramps so bad my mother sent me to school with a muscle relaxer and still had to pick me up by lunch, to have this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that being a girl was a lie and I was a liar. At age 15 I’d never had people remind me so viciously that I wasn’t like them, I’d never felt so throughly upset by the idea of one more person calling me she. At age 16 I’d never had my heart broken before, I’d never dealt with a friend turning on me completely. At age 17, I’d never had my family feel so broken. At age 18, I’d been petrified of the idea of my father dying, and he did. At age 19, I’d never actually thought about how I would kill myself before. At 20, I’d never gotten drunk before. At 21, I’d never gone inside a bar.

You get the picture.

Your teen years suck because you’ve never done so much shit, and on top of the terrifying experience of doing it all for the first time, you also have all your peers picking at you for doing it wrong the first time. Your teen years suck because they are chaotic and new and stressful and you don’t know how to handle them yet. You’re not supposed to know yet.

Hitting 25 was the realization that I wasn’t going to just up and die, that now I have to actually plan. I have to do taxes, and that I actually know how to. That I have to care for my pets and I know how to. That I have to drive to work and do my job and I know how to.

25 was what made me realize that I had things I was supposed to be around for. People and pets who relied on me, who loved me and needed me and wanted me.

That I can have a panic attack and know that I’m having one. That something can piss me off and I know I can take a moment before I respond. The awareness that I do not have to do everything for the first time all the time anymore, that I know stuff, that I’ve been around the block and can use those tools is INVALUABLE. The fact that I can look at my intrusive thoughts and, if I truly wanted to, CHOOSE to indulge them? That I can sit here and be the cat that doesn’t wish to go to the vet and the concerned cat owner?

It changes everything.

It was the realization that I am the one punishing myself. That I can and should respect myself as a person because it means I can respect more deeply the care that other people have for me. It sounds so stupid when I explain it but it’s absolutely a whole different ball game.

The fact that I think the only thing that could severely tank my mental health is if I were to become homeless in winter or actively abused or something similar should speak volumes to you what I mean when I say that not having to do everything for the first time all the time is a huge mental weight off you.

I promise. It will feel better when you are 25. I promise that even if it isn’t fixed, it will be easier. And if I’m wrong when you hit 25, you can come yell at me about it. Probably I’ll still be here.

[shoes--off]

Primal Fear

Alright! I've now watched this episode three times, and have some thoughts (don't worry, it's not 3+ pages this time!).

I really, really enjoyed the Jane / Alex / gf storyline and how it was handled this week. Actually, let me rephrase: I care very little for Alex's dating life and his girlfriend, Cassandra, overall (I don't think we're meant to like or trust her), but Jane at home really exhibits some of the same traits that she uses in her professional life, and seeing those parallels is very interesting to me. I could not believe that Jane Tennant was being bossed around in her own home, and yet, in typical Tennant fashion, she managed to handle it gracefully. You can see it takes effort to interact and keep her reservations silent (and she may share more than she does of her professional challenges with her friends), especially as the episode progresses, but just like at work, she keeps the bigger picture in mind.

Ernie's 'glass slipper' comment is now the third Cinderella reference that's been made on the show (Dalia calling Lucy 'Texas Cinderella' in 1x11, and Kate being called 'Cinderella' by Malkie in 2x03 pre-fight), and I'm not sure why or where it's going, but I'm intrigued. Did Lucy go all the way down from Kate's penthouse apartment to her car in one shoe? Does she get to park in Kate's garage? I have so many questions.

I was a little disappointed that the murders ended up having somewhat little to do with legend(s) and history, but this was a great setup to contrast Kai's overall beliefs and personality with Jesse's. This had me remembering one of @dealanexmachina's great points about how different Kai and Jesse have been shown to be throughout season 1, Kai being the one to believe in people and Jesse the one with the darker view of the world. I thought having Jesse go out of his way to try and dispel any unexplainable notions, being borderline disrespectful of traditions and legends out of perhaps a desire to dismiss this sort of beliefs and keep his little world all tidy and neat and reasonable, fit quite well with my impression of him as a character. Same for Kai, who obviously grew up in a very different culture, taught very differently. What's fascinating about these two and their friendship is that somehow they're able to cross these bridges, listen and understand each other. I half expect Jesse in coming episodes to experience all sorts of weird things because he dared defy the angry spirits, and maybe it'll turn out it was Lucy and Kai pranking him repeatedly, because if there's something else that was reiterated this episode, it's that these two are troublemakers.

Pike having taken a seminar and seeing himself as the CGIS resident profiler/expert on serial killers was simply genius. It worked so well. I laughed when the first thing he said after narrowly escaping his demise was that his profile was spot on. Hopefully he's not headed to the BAU quite yet, because I'd miss him.

Speaking of the BAU, it never occurred to me before but... Lucy would likely be a great fit there, wouldn't she? I love that she was the one to connect the dots from the non-digitized reports (Ernie's disdain was funny), once again. I love how smart she is consistently shown to be.

Great match for Kate, really, and one of the reasons why I like them together. Speaking of Kate, how great was it to see confident, bordering on smug Kate? I keep hoping for more scenes between Tori and Vanessa, because Tori always brings something different to them than with her scenes with Yasmine, and this is a side of Whistler I greatly enjoy.

I will end this with one small complaint: these looks deserved more airtime.

One question for the Criminal Minds fans: who did Whistler speak to at the BAU? 🤨

If you've read this far, have a great week, and until next time.

[positivlyfocused]

Why Negative Manifestations Offer Us The Best Gifts

Last week I wrote about a Positively Focused advanced client. I shared her experience with a negative thought, one she worried would turn into a negative manifestation.

Because she’s an advanced practitioner, however, she understood something important. She understood her dominant positive focus would overwhelm any negative thoughts passing through her awareness.

That’s a really good place to be. A very empowering place too. From there, it’s easy to see the practical value of “negative” thoughts. They can amplify one’s positive momentum. If used correctly.

They also offer another important value. Those that turn into manifestations, give us information we really want. They tell us what is dominantly vibrating within us. I explained this in the previous post. That makes all “negative” manifestations actually positive ones.

And that means anything happening in our lives is positive. Either we’re getting what we want (positive manifestation) or we’re getting feedback on how to get what we want (“negative” manifestation). It’s an important distinction. Something every advanced client learns.

Using “negative” manifestation

Instead of “negative”, Abraham often calls these manifestations “unwanted”. But even that word lays negative value on such experiences. It’s instead important to see such manifestations as “wanted”. Without them, how do we know what’s going on in our vibration?

One way is to become sensitive enough to feel vibration. That takes practice. Developing that sensitivity is a hallmark of a Positively Focused practice. Two other ways help us understand what our vibration is too. One is how we feel. The other is what shows up, or doesn’t yet, in our lives.

Once we take the “negative” value judgement off of these manifestations, we can start playing with them. We can use them to see how consistent the Universe really is. Realizing that consistency can bolster our confidence and belief in the Universe. It can prove that we are blessed. That the Universe has our back and is literally at our command.

I enjoyed an experience recently proving this. It reminded me exactly what I wrote above: that the Universe responds to my thoughts. And the more consistently I think them, the more likely I will experience the content of them.

The experience involved a game I played. I did it kind of unconsciously. I knew what I was doing, but didn’t feel the need to really do anything about it. Wanting to see how it would play out, I let the experience unfold. Right up to the “unwanted/wanted” manifestation.

Here’s what happened:

You get what you think about wanted or not

I take long walks every day pretty much. Over the last several months, I had the thought of hitting my watch against a railing as I walked. I saw myself in my mind grazing my watch on an overpass guard rail, the safety rail along the Steel Bridge walkway, or posts along the waterfront. The thought, when it first came, wasn’t accompanied by any worry. In fact I just let the thought happen.

Then, however, that thought kept coming into my awareness. It wasn’t accompanied by any worry or concern, nor any strong interest in it happening. But there was a “wondering” if the crystal on my watch (it’s an Apple Watch) would scratch if I did graze it.

Well, one day, after about three months of entertaining this thought again and again, I was walking across an overpass and, sure enough, I got really close to the guard rail. When I did, I scraped my watch against the galvanized stanchion. Right on the edge of the watch face.

The second it happened I said “I did that!” because I HAD as a manifestation! I remembered how, over and over, I thought that thought about scraping my watch. And sure enough, it happened! Here’s a picture of the damage:

The Universe DOES respond to my thoughts

What’s really interesting is the mark I made was mostly cosmetic. I was able to get most of it off with a buff board. There’s still a blemish, but it doesn’t feel like a scratch when I rub my fingernail against it. It’s barely noticeable. But it does catch my attention. Why? Because I built up a lot of momentum over this manifestation over the past three months. How? By thinking I was going to create this.

Recently, I’ve been getting an impulse to go to the Apple Store. I think that’s because they may be able to get this blemish out. But the blemish is kind of cool. It reminds me that I do create my reality with my thoughts. Everything in my experience shows up because of what’s happening inside me. So I see this blemish as a cool reminder that the Universe does, indeed, respond to my thoughts.

The moral of this story is: a passing negative thought isn’t something to worry about. Especially if we already enjoy consistent positive momentum. “Worrying” about the thought manifesting will amplify it. As does thinking the thought repeatedly. But it will take some weeks or even months of focus (deliberate or otherwise) before the subject becomes reality. So we always have lots of time to adjust our thoughts.

If such a manifestation does happen though, it’s a nice reminder showing us where our reality comes from: The deep recesses of our being. Vibration, in other words.

Want to know more or are interested in the Positively Focused practice? Contact me.

[concerthopperblog]

TOOL w/ Elder Live at State Farm Arena

Some days I ask myself, ‘Is this really happening?’. Other days I just pinch myself when things are too good to be true. This is one of those exact moments. Now, I know people make the joke that TOOL is ‘dad rock’ or they are overrated, etc. That opinion or mindset is fine to have, and I have no qualms at all. But for some of us, the ones who care, we live for these moments to see TOOL perform live. I first saw TOOL perform live at Lollapalooza in 1993 at Lakewood Amphitheatre in Atlanta while in high school ({insert old man joke here}. It was a few weeks after my 16th birthday and, a few friends got me a ticket to attend Lollapalooza that year.

 I was excited to go hang out with my friends at a one-day music festival (incidentally, this would be the first of many festivals in my future) in Atlanta with such an incredible lineup. Alice in Chains, Primus, Dinosaur Jr., Fishbone, Arrested Development, Babes in Toyland, TOOL, Front 242, and Rage Against the Machine were all mind-blowing in concert as a teenager. Little did I know this day would be a huge turning point in my musical development. Fast forward 31 years later and, I am now on my 22nd Tool show but something makes this one extra special. I can share exactly with you what I saw through my camera lens.

Kicking off the evening’s festivities, Elder is a four-piece doom metal/progressive/stoner rock band that consists of Nick DiSalvo (vocals/guitar), Jack Donovan (bass), Mike Risberg (guitar/keyboards), and Georg Edert (drums). Elder has released six (6) LPs, three (3) singles/EPs, one (1) Live LP, and one (1) collaboration LP (with Kadavar). After seeing Elder passionately performing in smaller clubs over the last few years, I was excited for their chance to perform at much larger arenas. Plus, they have a huge opportunity to gain some new devoted fans by opening for TOOL on this tour. I am very proud of Elder and, hearing the crowd cheer them on during their breath-taking performance filled me with joy. Atlanta came out early and in full force to support Elder. Although I was only able to catch one song from Elder, I could hear the crowd shouting and applauding in between each song during their set.

Elder’s (incomplete) setlist from this evening’s performance is below:

·         “Compendium”

·         “Merged in Dreams-Ne Plus Ultra”

·         “Halcyon”

  Give my dudes at Elder some love and head over to their Bandcamp page or their official shop directory for some merchandise. If you have followed my column over the years, then you should recognize the band Elder from previous reviews published by Concerthopper.com. You can read those reviews by following these links: Elder, Ruby the Hatchet, & Dreadnought: Live at The Earl (2022) & North American Tour 2023: Elder, REZN, and Lord Buffalo Live @ The Earl (2023).

TOOL is a progressive rock/progressive metal/alt metal/post-metal/art rock band from Los Angeles, CA. that formed back in 1990. TOOL consists of Adam Jones (guitars), Danny Carey (drums/percussion), Justin Chancellor (bass), and Maynard James Keenan (vocals). They have released five (5) LPs, one (1) box set, four (4) video albums, fifteen (15) singles, nine (9) music videos, and two (2) EPs. TOOL’s latest release, Fear Inoculum (August 30, 2019), was released on Volcano/RCA and is their first studio album in over thirteen years. A modern-day Pink Floyd, TOOL has pushed the envelope with their musical vision since releasing their debut album, Undertow, on Zoo Entertainment in 1993. Not to mention their ever-changing elaborate backdrop that accentuates their dynamic and profound live performances.

TOOL kicked off the evening with the title track from their latest album, “Fear Inoculum” and followed with one of my favorite tracks, “Jambi”. Although, while this song played, I was making my best impression of a track star as I hurried to unload my gear so that I could watch the rest of the show. I was able to enter during the third song, “Rosetta Stoned”, but before I went to the main arena, I needed to see if there were any posters left to purchase. To my surprise, the main merchandise table had some posters left which still amazes me as I write this review. Normally the posters are the first thing to go, so I consider myself very lucky (again). Once settled at my spot, TOOL proceeded to melt faces with blistering performances of “Pneuma”, “Intolerance”, “Descending”, and “The Grudge” in a four-song set to close out the first portion of the night. Hearing TOOL pull out “Intolerance” from the album Undertow was a pleasant surprise. It has been ages since I last heard that song live in concert. Not to mention the surprises that TOOL had in store for us during the second half of the evening.

Since the release of the latest album, it has been customary for Danny to perform the track “Chocolate Chip Trip” and put the crowd into a deep trance with his intricate and technical abilities behind the drumkit. Then it all came to a head during the next song as Justin started playing the opening bass line to another epic track from the 1993 album Undertow, “Flood”. It felt like TOOL dug deep into their bag of tricks so they could show the crowd how far they had come from their humble beginnings during the early 90’s.

Check out Tool’s career-spanning setlist from this evening below:

·         “Third Eye” (intro)

·         “Fear Inoculum”

·         “Jambi”

·         “Rosetta Stoned” (w/ “Lost Keys” intro)

·         “Pneuma”

·         “Intolerance”

·         “Descending”

·         “The Grudge”

Intermission

·         “Chocolate Chip Trip”

·         “Flood”

·         “Invincible”

·         “Stinkfist”

Follow this link to Tool’s official online store or check out their YouTube channel for some innovative music videos.

You can still catch Tool with Elder on tour at the following dates:

January 31st - Austin, TX - Moody Center

February 2nd - Dallas, TX - American Airlines Center

February 3rd - Oklahoma City, OK - Paycom Center

February 5th - Denver, CO - Ball Arena

February 9th - Phoenix, AZ - Footprint Center

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[absolutepokemontrash]

I come bearing a request! The Brothers with an MC who's really good at cooking and baking? Like, the stuff food blogs dream of. Master-level instagram pastries. Could compete with the chocolate guy if they put their mind to it.

👀 ooooo, I do love me some pastries-

(I know you have an *ahem* distaste for Lucifer, dear moot, so enjoy Lucifer acting like a bit of a dingus in his section!)

Lucifer

Oh, the human can cook. *insert asshole eyeroll here*. Great. Wonderful. Groundbreaking. That’s what’s got all his brothers acting like- what was that word Levi used? Simps? This human has turned six of the seven rulers of hell into a bunch of simps.

Sure, the human has near godlike cooking prowess. Sure, everyone looks forward to their day for cooking. And sure, everyone thinks the human’s pretty great.

Tsk, not him though. He’s a refined demon. Some silly food isn’t going to make him a lovesick fool… did he smell eclairs..?

Lucifer peered into the kitchen to see MC carefully taking a tray of eclairs out of the oven and letting them cool off on the counter. His favourite dessert… right there in front of him…

Due to not being a total moron, MC notices Lucifer and asks him what the hell he’s doing just standing ominously in the doorway. Lucifer makes up some bullshit excuse about reminding MC to do their homework and just leaves. Okay, game plan, he needs those fucking eclairs or he will spontaneously combust.

As he snuck into the kitchen that night, Lucifer took a moment to briefly wonder why he was creeping around his own house. He was the Avatar of Pride for pity’s sake! He could eat whatever he damn well pleased! Oh shit was someone coming- no? Okay, back to sneaking.

Lucifer crept into the kitchen, saw the eclairs, and all logic was thrown out the window. Time to eat!

“BEEL NO! NOT THE- Lucifer..?” “…” “…” “…you’re very talented, MC, do you mind making more of these?”

SOMEONE SNAP A PICTURE! THIS IS THE CLOSEST LUCIFER HAS GOTTEN TO BEGGING IN THE LAST THOUSAND YEARS!

Mammon

Ugh, stuck babysittin’ some dumb human, how lame…

As Mammon was throwing a “I’m broke and I’m stuck in a pact with a dumb human” pity party, the most heavenly smell entered his nostrils. Cooking… good cooking… was Barbatos visiting or somethin’? Nah, Lucifer woulda made a big fuss about gettin’ ready for Lord Diavolo. Huh, so what was goin’ on in the kitchen?

Huh? The human? The human can cook? Well damn, maybe this whole deal wouldn’t be so bad. Oi! MC! As payment for babysittin’ ‘em, he got to have an extra big share of- OW!

Did- did the human just hit him with a spoon?! Th-they can’t do that!

Apparently they fucking can. Mammon gets told to sit the fuck down and wait for the food like everyone else. He grumbles on the way to the dining room, but he can’t fully hide his excitement to try the food.

The food even looked pretty! How did they do that?! Magic. It had to be!

After everyone’s tastebuds were blessed with the heavenly substance that is MC’s culinary exploits, Mammon decides he needs to get on this human’s good side in order to receive more food! Maybe even find some way to make a profit or somethin’!

After weeks go by of trying to suck up to the human without looking like too much of a chump, Mammon eventually realizes… hey, this human ain’t so bad. They’re nice, they make him feel good about himself, they give him headpats… he’s really hit the jackpot here!

He’ll offer to help MC bake or cook, but beware, he will try and sample the food before it’s done. Don’t let him lick the spoon!!!

Leviathan

First thought? This human ain’t shit. Thought after seeing their food? WOAAAAAAAH! JUST LIKE THAT ONE ANIME-

He was unceremoniously cut off by Beel asking demanding seconds. Humph, fine, he doesn’t actually care about this dumb normie food anyway.

…well at least until Levi saw a little something something on TV that he just had to ask MC to try and make. He shyly knocked on their door and when they answered, Levi shoved the screenshot in their face and stuttered out a dinner request.

On the day MC was supposed to make dinner, Levi poked his head into the kitchen and tried to make it look like he was just standing in the same room as MC and not checking to see if they were making his dinner request.

Not that he’d blame them for not doing that… who’d wanna make some anime dinner for a yucky Otaku- OMG JAHSHSHABA THEY’RE MAKING IT! *fangirl squeals*

As Levi continues to commit the SIN of being in the kitchen at the same time as someone else, MC eventually just asks him if he’d like to help out.

“Here! Just keep turning the takoyaki.” “R-really? You trust me?” “Yes, Levi. You watched how they made it on your show, right?” “Yes! I won’t mess up! I swear on my honour as an otaku!”

All in all, it was a very cute bonding experience for the two. Now it’s a regular thing. Levi requests something for dinner or dessert, MC makes it, Levi helps out.

Satan

So, the human can cook. That’s nice. At least someone in this literally god forsaken house can.

He makes sure to thank MC every time they cook, then he makes sure to thank whatever deity is watching over him that Solomon wasn’t the human staying with them.

As the months progress, Satan realizes, he should learn how to cook better. I mean, Levi and Mammon were somehow both improving in their cooking endeavours, and if MC could teach those two, then he would be a breeze.

Satan walked into the kitchen and simply asked if MC needed any assistance with what they were doing. MC just slid him some garlic to dice and that’s how this mentor/student relationship was formed.

Satan was a star pupil, but Mammon and Levi weren’t above trying to sabotage Satan’s progress to get him to leave.

Here’s the thing, the sabotage worked, but it only worked once, and the two idiots didn’t stop to think that maybe they shouldn’t sabotage the meal they were going to have to eat later.

Well, cooking lessons continued uninterrupted after the ghost pepper incident…

Even when he’s ‘graduated’ their little cooking class, Satan’s always willing to lend a hand if needed. He also will slyly hand over some recipe books and cute baking supplies that he finds. MC should be prepared for lots of cat related things to come their way.

Asmodeus

The human can cook? Oh frabcious day! He’s saved from a life of his brother’s mediocre cooking! And the human’s so cute too! What a bonus!

Not only is the human cute, but their food is just so… aesthetic??? Pretty???? Omigosh he just has to get a picture for Devilgram!

For the first few months, MC’s relationship with Asmo consists of Asmo not at all subtly asking to take pictures of their food and post it to his Devilgram. Listen MC, his followers would just love it!

Being the saint-sheep they are, MC lets Asmo sit in whenever they’re making anything in the kitchen. And Asmo slowly realizes “hey, this cute human with the awesome food is actually pretty cool too!”

New Mission: Make the human fall madly in love with him so they’ll want to hang out more.

Whether the mission succeeds is up to MC of course. (I mean, I’m already smitten with him sooooooooo-)

MC offers Asmo a lot of the pastries they make, but the Avatar of Lust almost always declines. Listen honey, he’s on a diet- wait, don’t make that sad face! He’ll eat it! Look! It’s- it’s delicious…

Diet cheat day is now every day MC makes dessert. The feeling of bliss Asmo gets when he takes a bite out of anything MC makes is only second of the treats is second only to the joy he feels at seeing MC happy that he likes their food. It’s just so wholesome I can’t-

MC’s food Devilgram has almost surpassed Asmo in terms of followers and honestly- he isn’t even mad.

Beelzebub

Gasp! Lucifer finally got him the pet personal chef he’d always wanted! Thanks big bro! :D he’ll be sure not to eat this human!

On the first night MC was supposed to make dinner, Lucifer needed to hold Beel back from breaking into the kitchen to see what was causing that heavenly smell. It was, difficult… especially because Lucifer hadn’t slept in three days.

When they all sat down to eat, Beel practically inhaled everything and held up his half bitten plate for seconds.

We here at Stupid Headcanons incorporated recommend that MC have as many bodyguards as possible stationed around the kitchen at all times to ward off a hungry Beel. We don’t want him eating the ingredients and half-tempered chocolate.

A cinnamon roll through and through, he’ll eat everything MC gives him with a big ol’ smile on his cute little face. He’s not the best person to go to if MC wants advice or critique because the best thing Beel can usually muster is “it was really good.”

As Luke said in Lesson 5, Beel would make an awful food reporter. But we love him.

Similar to Levi, he’ll give meal requests on what to make for dinner. (At this rate, MC’s going to have to make some kind of list).

He kind of just waits by the door like a sad puppy whenever MC is making anything because he can’t get into the kitchen :(

Belphegor

The smell of freshly made chocolate chip cookies wafting through the house did reach the attic and it only fuelled his rage more. How dare the human win everyone over with cookies?!

After the attic incident, Belphie was won over with cookies.

Belphie just stands creepily in the kitchen doorway whenever MC is making anything and just makes shit really uncomfortable. Why’s he doing that, you may be wondering, well, he’s trying to calculate the energy needed to swipe the bowl of cookie dough and sprint to safety.

He never succeeds, mainly because once he gets to the bowl, MC already has the wooden spoon ready to smack him, so he just freezes mid-theft and slowly puts the bowl down.

“Oh my gosh, it says let the bread dough rest overnight? Let’s get a headstart and go to sleep now.” “Belphie what-” “I made a pillow Fort, come in. Let’s sleep.” “In the kitchen????”

How’d he make the pillow Fort without MC noticing? Years of experience. He’s trained in the art of- MC? What do you mean you can’t sleep right now and you need to get a head start on shaping fondant?

…he may have eaten the fondant while MC wasn’t looking… whoops… Beel may have rubbed off on him a little…

[opalesense]

dinners at diluc’s

kaeya & f!reader & diluc (NSFW)

5.5k words • ~40 min. read

summary: after lightheartedly joking about a threesome for the past few weeks, a drunken kaeya decides to shamelessly suggest that diluc should join in on all the fun.

warnings: alcohol, facefucking, double penetration, bondage, overstimulation, big dicked duo !!

notes: reader is in a relationship with kaeya before all this (kind of a sequel to this!) and thank you so much for 100 followers! i hope you enjoy this as a token of my appreciation <3

DINNERS AT DILUC’S MANOR used to be as rare as a sighting of a dragon in Mondstadt. Though, over the past few months, Diluc and Kaeya have been slowly rebuilding their previously severed bonds over weekly meals together in an effort to achieve some sort of reconciliation. It was mostly my idea, but I’m sure after all these years of unforgiving distance, they were secretly grateful I was the one to finally push them towards reunion. With the strong sense of pride and swelled ego they shared, they wouldn’t outwardly show it, of course.

 Despite the good progress they were finally making now, I won’t forget that it started as a painstaking process.

 At first, the meals were tense and rather snappy, the boys sarcastically ganging up on me for forcing them into a room together when they “clearly had nothing to say to each other,” as Diluc remarked during the first dinner. Kaeya had agreed with silence, rolling his eyes and shaking his head, impatiently waiting for the night to be over. All I could do was sigh and pray things would get better from there.

 But now Kaeya had a drink in his hand, one that was made personally by Diluc despite having kitchen staff who could’ve done it for him. The brothers were riding waves of laughter, reminiscing on good memories and inside jokes with grins planted on both of their faces. They bounced stories off of each other as if they were completing each other’s thoughts, their minds so in sync – just like they used to be when they were growing up together.

 My heart fluttered to see a look of genuine happiness on Kaeya’s face. I could tell he’s been wanting a moment like this, a moment to truly reconnect with his only family, for a long time. And one glance at Diluc told me he was thoroughly enjoying the night as well, his smile breaking the usual stoic façade he upheld. So even after the meal was already finished and the staff had cleared the table then went to their quarters for the night, I sat and listened to their stories despite being unable to contribute anything to the conversation. Even though it was getting late, how could I possibly interrupt this rare moment?

 Then Kaeya had swiftly downed his drink. So he asked for another. And another. Then we collectively moved from the dining room to the living room to warm up by the fireplace. Kaeya asked for another drink. Then one more.

 “Kaeya, don’t you think that’s enough to drink for tonight? We still have to walk home,” I gently reminded him, feeling bad for interrupting the conversation so suddenly. But it was getting extremely late. I was getting extremely tired and cranky for sitting around and doing nothing for the past few hours but mindlessly listen to the men talk.

 “I’m having so much fun, sweetheart. Just one more?” he teased me by making puppy eyes at me, “Please~?”

 “Kaeya...”

 “No need to worry about him, [Y/N],” Diluc politely waved off my request, “I could always walk you guys home – it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to drag him along after a night of drinking. Or better yet, you two can stay in the guest bed upstairs then return home tomorrow morning when he’s sobered up.”

 I placed a hand on Kaeya’s arm. “Would that be okay with you? If we spend the night in his guest bed? I’m rather exhausted.”

 “Guest bed? Why don’t we just spend the night in Diluc’s bed!” Kaeya’s words began slurring as he giggled, “Maybe we can have that lil’ threesome we’ve been talking about.”

 My mind snapped awake immediately, eyes widening as I nervously glanced to Diluc who also had his jaw slightly dropped in shock. “K-Kaeya, you really must watch what you’re saying–“

 “Aw, don’t act all shy now, sweetheart!” He took his eyes off of me to face Diluc, who was now clearly perplexed. I sat perplexed as well, unsure of how I was going to come up with an excuse for what he said. Because it was true. We had been lightheartedly talking about having a threesome lately. But mentioning it to Diluc of all people on such a wholesome night like this made my heart quickly sink. He must be appalled.

 “Diluc, I’m so sorry, you know he says too much when he’s drunk-“

 “No, no, but it’s true! ‘Luc, you wouldn’t believe how much we’ve been talking about fuckin’ around with an extra... fuckin’...” Kaeya’s face began to soften at the realization of his actions as his gaze turned to the floor. “Oh... shit.”

 The three of us sat to process what had just happened for a moment, the firewood softly crackling to fill the silence. I didn’t know if I was feeling embarassment, awkwardness, anxiety, or all of it at the same time. All I knew was that for some twisted reason, the sudden mention of our fantasy out loud to Diluc made my thighs slightly twitch in excitement without thinking. How in the world did I just get aroused? I internally shamed myself.

 Diluc was the first to break the silence. “So... how long have you been thinking about this again?”

 “Diluc!” I snapped at him, not wanting him to encourage the thought. But one look at him and I could tell he was dead serious about the matter. Embarassment definitely kicked in now through a blush that quickly crept up to my cheeks. Are we really going to discuss this right now?

 Kaeya took a slow sip of his drink, finally putting some thought into what he was going to say. But just as I hoped he was going to take this opportunity to dismiss the topic entirely, to my dismay, he quickly muttered, “A few weeks now.”

 “Kaeya!” I smacked his arm lightly. My body shrunk into the sofa in disbelief. But my thoughts were racing along with my heartbeat. Diluc seemed to express genuine interest immediately after the initial period of shock. It was almost as if he had been thinking about it lately too. I couldn’t help but imagine the things that these two could do to me, or imagine specifically what Diluc was thinking about doing with us to be interested in the first place. Even though I hated to admit it, jolts of excitement started to tickle my nerves throughout my entire body but I didn’t dare show it. I can’t believe this is conversation is actually happening. I can’t believe we could actually do this.

 Diluc leaned back into his chair with a content hum. “If you’re seriously offering... I can’t say I would be opposed to the idea.”

 “Now that’s my man!” Kaeya excitedly pointed to Diluc, who then slyly chuckled in response. Kaeya exchanged glances between me and Diluc a few times before finally settling on Diluc. “Wait, you’re actually serious?”

 “Are you actually serious?”

 “Tell him, [Y/N], am I being serious?” Kaeya poked my leg, which elicited another twitch at the sudden touch. I looked up at him dumbfoundedly, failing to find words when I was getting embarassingly aroused. “I don’t think I’ve been more serious about something in my life, brother!”

 “I can’t believe the two of you right now,” I scoffed as I stood up, snapping myself out of the fantasies bubbling in my head. There was no way we would actually do it, after all, the brothers were getting along but not that closely. “Diluc, can you show me to the guest room, please? I’ll go to bed while the two of you joke about this convulted fantasy.”

 “Joke? C’mon, sweetheart! You know we’ve been talking about it!” Kaeya stood up to follow me to the main floor of the manor with Diluc trailing along, “Don’t play innocent just because Diluc’s around.”

 The three of us climbed the stairs, the two brothers still trailing behind. “It’ll be the last room down the hall once you turn left,” Diluc directed me. Kaeya hummed in what sounded like satisfaction.

 “Just look at that ass, ‘Luc. You know, you can touch her if you want, I wouldn’t mind,” I immediately turned around once I heard Kaeya mutter those words and glared at him. They both stopped in their tracks at the same time, Kaeya returning a stare more intimidating than mine and Diluc’s eyes trailing to the floor. I felt so small under the lust in his sapphire eyes, which were staring me down with a craving to touch me.

 “Listen, sweetheart, I know you’re being a brat right now but once we get our hands on you...” he stepped close enough to place his gloved hand on my thigh, shooting a chill up my spine and causing my thighs to squeeze together. I didn’t want to let him know that I wasn’t entirely opposed to this idea either but my body couldn’t control itself. My core was secretly craving his touch. He noticed my subtle reaction and let out a low chuckle.

 “Ah, I can tell you’re excited. Just keep walking, baby. You can drop that innocent act now and show Diluc how much of a slut you can be, okay? Can you do that for me?”

 I didn’t have the energy to hide it anymore, let alone answer him with words. I let my lips quiver as I turned back around, taking a few more steps up the stairs then walking down the hall while the brothers exchanged inaudible whispers with each other, presumably about me. My instincts told me they were plotting behind my back but they were so quiet that I couldn’t make out any real words. Before my hand could reach for the doorknob, Kaeya’s arm got ahead of me and gripped the knob himself. “Let me get that for you, sweetheart.”

 He opened the door and walked inside first. The room was surprisingly larger than I expected for a guest room. A large bed sat near the wall and with a glance to the side I could see it faced a large vanity. The rest of the room consisted of a warddrobe, drawers, a seating area, and a bookshelf.

 “This used to be my room, you know,” Kaeya pivoted his heels to face me while placing his drink down on top of one of the nearby drawers. “Diluc picked a good room for us. Hopefully it’s just how I left it.”

 “It should be,” Diluc followed close behind as I stepped forward to get a better look of the space. “I never asked any of the staff to touch this room aside from the occasional dusting and I don’t get many visitors who need to spend the night.”

 “Perfect,” Kaeya smirked. That grin usually indicated he was plotting something. My stomach was a mess of excitement, curiosity, and anxiety at the same time. Was this really happening?

 He knelt down to pull out the bottom drawer in front of him and rummaged through his belongings to pull out a bundle of something, though I couldn’t tell exactly what it was from the dim lighting of the room. “Just as I had hoped.”

 He hid the item behind his back as he stood up and took a step towards me, gently planting a kiss on my forehead. He then began to shower my face with kisses, wrapping his arms around me in a cute embrace and making me giggle. Just as I was about to push him away in jest, he simply said two words that made my heart stop. “Now, Diluc.”

 Before I could react or comprehend what was going on, Diluc had pressed his hips against mine with a grip on my waist while Kaeya squeezed me harder in our seemingly sweet hug, knocking a bit of wind out of me. Kaeya, despite being unbelievably drunk, still had an inescapable strength as he managed to pull both my arms down while keeping me in his embrace. My panicked eyes looked up at Kaeya’s face, which was focused on my arms now being pinned behind my back. Once I felt rope being looped around my forearms, I knew exactly what was about to happen.

 “Be a good girl for Master Diluc, okay sweetheart? I’m going to get another drink,” Kaeya loosened his grip on me and gave me another kiss on the cheek. “You want to do this, right?”

 I hated to admit it, but I shyly nodded yes. Kaeya smiled contently. “You can trust him. Everything he’s going to do is part of our plan. We’re going to have fun tonight, okay?”

 And with that, Diluc finished tying my folded arms together as Kaeya walked out the door. Before I could form a thought, Diluc held my waist to slowly guide me to sit at the edge of the bed, pressing his bulge against me throughout each step and kissing my bare neck. He then turned me around and planted a knee between my thighs into the mattress, slowly laying me down then beginning to unbutton my blouse as he continued licking and nibbling my skin. I breathily moaned at the excitement and nervousness of a man other than Kaeya touching me so calmly, so naturally. Diluc pulled the tucked in fabric up once it was unbuttoned to reveal my bare torso in its entirety, letting out a low growl at the sight. The excitement burned inside my core and I couldn’t help but gently grind against his clothed knee for some stimulation.

 He took notice of this and responded by pressing his knee deeper into my aching core which was so much more forgiving than what Kaeya would have done if I wanted to grind against his leg. Diluc trailed the kisses up towards my jawline, stopping just an inch away from my lips and muttering, “Do you care about this blouse?”

 “Rip it off,” I mindlessly whispered, not wanting to go through the trouble of getting untied for my blouse to come off. I craved touch, it could be from anyone at this point, but I needed to feel hands on my skin. Diluc made quick work of the insignificant piece if clothing, ripping it apart as if it were a piece of paper then tossing it onto the floor. He tossed his gloves along with it, my exposed skin suddenly meeting his warm touch as he caressed my sides and continued to kiss my neck, definitely leaving marks at this point. I sighed at his warmth, a stark contrast to Kaeya’s cold touch. Albeit, Kaeya always loved to use his vision to tease me, and maybe Diluc was doing the same thing here.

 “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Kaeya stepped into the room and walked towards us.

 “She’s gorgeous, Kaeya. Seriously, you found yourself a keeper,” Diluc paused his kisses to respond, never breaking eye contact with me, “You better treat her well, otherwise I might want to steal her away for myself.”

 “Ha! In your dreams. I’ll let you play with her all you want but in the end, she’s mine, dear brother.”

 Diluc scoffed lightheartedly and placed his hands on my back to lift me up, fully releasing my neck from his kisses as Kaeya waved a glass in front of me. “Now drink up, sweetheart.”

 “What is it?” I looked up at him expectedly.

 “It’ll make things easier for you later. Make sure to drink every last drop,” he gave out a short laugh, “That wouldn’t be the first time I’ve told you that in the bedroom, huh?”

 I scoffed at the suggestive joke and wrapped my lips around the edge of the glass. It was some kind of concoction that I couldn’t exactly recognize, but there was definitely hard liquor in it. I connected the dots and figured he probably had something planned where he wanted me to drink something strong to chase away whatever pain he was going to inflict on me tonight. My legs trembled with excitement at the thought, wondering what the two had planned for me behind my back.

 With each sip, Diluc worked on unbuckling my pants to reveal my half naked body, which was now completely surrendered to the two brothers who were also unbuttoning their own shirts without taking their eyes off of me. Kaeya finished first, having his top already halfway unbuttoned anyway, and reached down to strip me of my underwear. Resuming from where Diluc had left off, he leaned down to leave marks on my neck as well, his kisses being more sloppy and aggressive than sensual like his brother’s. Small pants escaped my mouth as his teeth nibbled down at the spots that were already slightly bruised, but he didn’t seem to care and only bit down harder knowing I was sensitive.

 But his passionate kisses on my fragile skin were only fleeting moments, and after one quick peck on the lips and a smirk, he climbed off of me to reveal a half naked Diluc tying his long hair up into a ponytail. Diluc’s messy red locks couldn’t distract me from his hungry stare. He eyed me down with such intensity, never breaking eye contact despite turning his head from side to side to gather all his hair into a bundle. My eyes darted to Kaeya, who had began unbuckling his pants and was also observing my body with pure lust in his eyes. I couldn’t help but trail my gaze down towards their hips, and in the soft moonlight, I could see their bulges creating large tents in their underwear, aching and yearning for me. I could’ve drooled at the sight of their bulky erections if my mouth wasn’t closed shut from nervousness. My core lit up with butterflies, wanting them now more than ever.

 My thoughts were interrupted by Diluc climbing onto the mattress next to me then swiftly grabbing me to turn me all the way around so my head conveniently hung off the edge of the bed. I let out a soft giggle at how he manhandled me, how he had lifted me and gently threw me on the mattress like I was dead weight. He must’ve noticed that I liked what he did because as he positioned his head near my throbbing folds and pinned my thighs up with both his hands, he gave a quiet chuckle to himself not long before wrapping his lips around my clit and gently sucking.

 I gasped at the sudden warmth but shock quickly turned into pleasure as Diluc’s hot tongue lapped at my wetness, making me flinch and arch my back at the sensation. I instinctively tried to pin my thighs back together in an effort to try and keep the tiny amount of pride I had, but Diluc was quick to shoot a dominant glare at me while he pushed my legs back apart. If anything, the subtle act of defiance only made him hungrier for me, his movements getting a little more aggressive and passionate. My sighs and moans of bliss made the redhead happily groan back in response, the simultaneous buzzing of his lips against my saliva coated cunt causing my brain to malfunction. I couldn’t think anymore and it had only been about a minute or so. I was in heaven.

 I looked up to Kaeya for reassurance that I was still in Teyvat as he hovered above me, stroking his cock in front of my face and looking down at me with a devilish smirk. “You should really give me a few pointers, ‘Luc. She’s going crazy over you.”

 Diluc kissed my clit before responding. “Have you ever considered learning how to properly please a woman instead of selfishly chasing your own needs?”

 “And have you ever considered sleeping with girls other than your maids?”

 “Fuck off,” Diluc’s warm breath against my entrance as he sarcastically laughed had me lean into his touch even more. “You know that’s not true.”

 His mouth latched onto my clit again, and as if it couldn’t feel any better, he managed to snake two fingers into my entrance while he sucked on my clit, his long digits teasing my walls by slowly scissoring my insides. If Kaeya weren’t a sucker for orgasm denial and hadn’t trained me to hold back my releases for months, I surely would have broken under Diluc’s touch by now.

 “Alright, don’t get too excited now, sweetheart,” Kaeya reached out to caress my cheek with his thumb, “Let’s show Diluc how pretty you look with a bulge in your throat.”

 “Yes, sir,” I mindlessly muttered and eagerly opened my mouth, earning a grin from Kaeya. He placed his hands on both sides of my jaw, chuckling as he rested the underside of his cock on top of my face, thinking about how it managed to in my throat when it was bigger than my head. My breath stuttered as Diluc’s tongue kept trying to grab my attention but Kaeya’s thickness always seemed to captivate me no matter how many times I saw it.

 “Very good girl,” he then guided his tip to meet my tongue and let out a low growl while he slowly pushed his entire length into my throat inch by inch. “My good little girl...”

 He wasted no time to fuck my throat as if my head were his toy, his fingers digging into my jaw with each groan that escaped his lips. At times Diluc would suddenly curl his fingers inside me causing me to moan in surprise, which then made Kaeya twitch in ecstacy as the vibrations in my throat clenched tighter around his cock.

 The feeling of being touched by two men at once made my insides burn like a wick fighting for its life at the bottom of a candle. My senses were overloaded as I tried to focus on one aspect of what was going on, darting between sensations as if I couldn’t decide what to pay attention to. Maybe Kaeya’s hands gripping my teary eyed face. Diluc’s fingers prodding my walls. Kaeya’s grunts and groans filling up the room. Diluc’s hot breath panting for air against my folds. Everything that led up to this moment was completely blocked out of my mind and I could think about was how restlessly aroused I was. The brothers’ movements became more merciless and the more I tried to hold back my release, the more it fought back. I found my legs gradually tensing up and my moans becoming more and more desperate to the point where I was dangerously on the edge.

 “Diluc, stop,” Kaeya quickly pulled himself out of my mouth and despite his initial hesitation, Diluc gave my clit one more kiss and pulled his head away to sit up straight. I was a coughing mess when I finally took a deep breath from suffocating for the past few minutes, and as a sign of mercy, Kaeya gently lifted my head to allow better airflow into my throat.

 Despite coughing my organs out, my legs shook violently as I still tried to hold back my release. I whined and wanted to scream in frustration at the denial of my climax, the ropes around my arms and Diluc’s hands pinning me down preventing me from getting up to stimulate myself a little more. Kaeya only laughed sadistically.

 “I knew it. You got a little close there, didn’t you, princess?” he teased. I groaned impatiently as my eyes were glued to his cock, which I noticed had strings of saliva still attached to my face. The drool all over his length only made him smirk, and it made Diluc sigh in envy.

 “P-Please,” I could barely think of words as my body trembled in pleasure, “M-More...”

 Kaeya’s laughter subsided as he caressed my cheek lovingly. “Tell us what you want, baby. Use your words.”

 “M-More...” more tears swelled up in my eyes as I struggled to come up with proper words or coherent thoughts, “K-Kaeya...”

 “Yes, princess?” Kaeya gently reached under me to lift my torso up and Diluc leaned over to help guide my shaking body until I was sitting up with my back leaning against Kaeya, my thighs still pried apart to prevent me from pleasuring myself. Kaeya climbed into the spot behind me while Diluc comfortably sat in front of me, staring at my body as if he were in a trance.

 “I...” the strength in my voice was faltering as I tried to form a sentence, “need you both...”

 “Poor thing. The alcohol must be kicking in,” Diluc placed one hand on the side of my thigh, gently massaging the spot and exchanging looks with Kaeya, who hummed in approval behind me. Kaeya’s hands ran up my from my waist to my shoulders where he began massaging my tenseness away.

 “Just relax now, princess. We’ll take good care of you, okay?”

 “Okay...” I whimpered innocently as I leaned into their massages, taking deep breaths while I bathed in their attention under the moonlight.

 Time always seemed to pass differently when I had a drink. In one moment, the brothers were massaging me to calm me down from edging, and in the blink of an eye, Diluc was pulling me down on top of his chest, kissing my neck softly like he did before. In another blink of an eye, my eyes stared into my reflection from the vanity across the bed to see that my thighs were bound together with rope and Kaeya was leaning over my back, whispering into my ear.

 “Can you tell us what you want now, princess?” he rubbed his cock to spread my wetness to my butthole and I could feel Diluc’s cock radiating heat as it was pressed against my stomach.

 As if the words travelled out on their own, I found my lips muttering, “I want to get stuffed full...”

 And as if the brothers were magical beings that could grant wishes on command, they were strategic and patient when they pushed themselves inside me. Diluc’s hands first pushed me down onto his cock. Each thick inch slowly stretched me out and my eyes widened once I felt his tip finally kiss my cervix. With a sigh of relief and a quivering breath, I planted my cheek into his chest at his sheer size alone, and just when I thought I had settled down comfortably, Kaeya had positioned himself behind me and slowly pushed himself into my other hole. Even though I imagined the pain of having two cocks penetrate me at the same time would be excruciating, the feeling was extraordinary, making me pant like a dog in heat. I subconsciously thanked Kaeya for giving me that drink earlier, knowing their large sizes would have painfully split me open otherwise.

 “Look at yourself in the mirror,” Kaeya groaned as he buried himself as deep as possible. My reflection was all I could stare at. I could clearly see every detail of the sticky situation I was in and I loved every inch of the sight. My attention darted around once again. Diluc’s hands gripping my ass, his knuckles going white with his strong hold on me. Kaeya’s soft hair draping down on me and Diluc, his muscles illuminated by the moon. Diluc’s eyebrows furrowed with his eyes completely closed, breathing heavily at the tight fit. Kaeya’s sapphire eyes staring right back at me, studying every part of this scene just like I was.

 “Don’t hold yourself back this time. Cum all over Master Diluc’s cock for me, okay princess?”

 And with that, he leaned back up, stabilized himself by holding my waist, and began fucking me steadily. Diluc followed suit, keeping his grip on me to fuck my soaking cunt as if he were waiting for this moment his entire life.

 It took awhile for me to process what I was feeling at first. My brain was fully expecting pain, but once I realized I was going to cum after only a few thrusts in, I completely lost control.

 “F-Fuck!” I yelped into Diluc’s chest as I watched the brothers pound into me in the damned mirror, “M-Master!”

 “Which one, baby?” Kaeya teased, earning a slight chuckle from Diluc. I moaned uncontrollably in response, my voice shaking with the way my body was being rocked by the two men who started at different rhythms at first but synced up each thrust moments later.

 “K-Kaeya! Diluc!” I sighed mindlessly, earning grunts from the two of them. They always seemed to be teasing me with chuckles, acting so nonchalant as if they weren’t fucking my brains out at the same time.

 An orgasm immediately hit me like a wave without any warning and I failed to hold back the loud moan that escaped my sore throat. If my legs weren’t tied right now, I would’ve definitely been shaking uncontrollably, but even now my abdomen violently curled up as I rode the waves of my climax. But the two didn’t care. They took my moment of weakness to fuck into me even harder, silently agreeing to pick up the pace and torture me in the best way.

 “Good girl,” Diluc whispered into my ear, clearly picking up the pet name from his brother. “Tightening around me like that... you really are such a good girl.”

 “I felt it too,” Kaeya groaned out, “Can you cum for us again, princess? You’re being such a good slut for us, you know that?”

 “I’m... I’m a good slut...”

 “Then cum for us again,” Diluc’s voice was almost demanding, his movements getting more desperate and sloppy as he started to take a little more dominance in speed over Kaeya, craving the sensation that I gave to him once more. “Cum on my cock, [Y/N].”

 Kaeya ganged up onto the intensity by leaning his chest over my back again, propping himself up with one hand and grabbing a fistful of my hair with the other, making me choke on my own air. “Don’t make him tell you twice, sweetheart. Be a good girl.”

 I had managed to reach my climax again shortly after, panting and trembling as I was cutely sandwiched between the two. As the two groaned at the sensation, they asked for another a few minutes after. And another. Then we collectively switched places so Kaeya could feel me cum around his cock. Kaeya asked for another orgasm. Then one more.

 “I c-can’t fucking take it anymore...!” I screamed into his chest, overstimulated and almost writhing in pain. “P-Please s-stop!”

 The brothers that I knew were long gone by now. Now they were simply horny messes chasing after their own pleasure, edging themselves and using my body as their toy, teasing that the night would be over soon then immediately asking me to cum more. They endlessly praised me about how my body felt so good, how tight the fit was, and how sweet my moans were. And despite the aching pain in my core, I secretly didn’t want this sensation to end either. But alas, all good things come to an end, and Diluc was the first to break.

 “F-Fuck,” he grunted weakly, “I can’t hold it anymore, I’m going to...!”

 “Cum in me,” I panted out, “Fill me with cum, please, Master Diluc...!”

 With a loud groan and a cry of pleasure, Diluc’s thick load had slowly surged through my insides, his cock throbbing with each pump of cum he dumped into my abused asshole. My tongue fell out of my mouth at the sensation of Kaeya still sloppily pounding my cunt while Diluc’s movements slowed until he finally came to a complete stop, his cock still firmly buried to hold his cum inside. Kaeya took this opportunity of having me all to himself to reach a hand to the back of my neck and pull me down for a kiss before finally releasing his seed in me as well, coating my slick covered walls with his seemingly endless loads of cum. Even when his movements began to slow to a stop as well, he continued to kiss me sweetly, sneaking in small smiles here and there before pulling away to press his sweat covered forehead against mine.

 “You did so good, sweetheart,” he whispered proudly, “You’re so perfect, filled with our cum like a good slut.”

 I let out a weak laugh, wiggling my hips gently while the two were still stuffed inside of me. “I feel so good... I’m really filled with cum...” I happily grinned, giggling as I softly cuddled against Kaeya’s forehead.

 “You sure are, cutie.”

 The three of us stayed comfortably in this position for a few moments, taking in the afterglow of such a celestial feeling of finally reaching our climaxes. Our tired pants echoed throughout the room, sweat trickling down our faces and my tears slowly subsiding as Kaeya massaged my scalp and showered my face in more kisses. Diluc let out a deep breath before slowly pulling himself out of me and climbing off of the bed. He started to pick up his clothes from the floor, his eyes glancing at the way his cum slowly trickled down from my hole. Even though I wasn’t facing him, I could practically envision his stupid smug grin forming when he finally decided to say something to us.

 “Can I expect you two for ‘dinner’ sometime again soon?”

[kkrazy256]

Oooo for prompts maybe “You have to help [him/her/them]. Please.” With Fox and Remedy?

Augh,,,did my best to keep this one short. This is Cody and Fox-centric but the topic of discussion is Remedy. 

/

Cody slides the file across the desk before downing the shot. His nose immediately scrunches up, lips pulling into a grimace.

Fox knows this moonshine batch had been quite shit, but he’s already gone through at least three bottles too many this week to care. Cody lets out a stifled cough and Fox would’ve snickered if this had been a simple social call. But he reaches to pick up the datapad instead. 

It was anything but a social call.

“CT-8847.” He starts scrolling. 

“Remedy.” Cody offers after a beat; their names weren’t allowed on official files. 

The information is fairly standard. The medic is younger than them but old enough to have seen a good share of campaigns. He had consistently scored the highest amongst his medic cohort and was on track for lieutenant. Until…

Fox swipes past three paragraphs of black bars, looking up with a raised eyebrow. 

“Jedi clearance.” Cody leans back against the couch, rubbing at the corners of his eyes. 

His ara’vod looks exhausted. The 212th isn’t technically on shoreleave. They are still mid-campaign, but Kenobi had to return for some emergency meeting or something at the Temple. Cody had tagged along with half a platoon, sending Fox a message about an administrative meeting. He hadn’t even bothered to show up out of armor. Flakes of dry mud fluttered off each time Cody shifted. 

“As in you don’t know or you can’t tell me?” 

Cody looks him straight in the eyes, “won’t. It’s not my place to” 

He maintains eye contact, but Fox can see and hear the soft clinks of his finger tapping against the shot glass. Cody’s always been good at confrontation, even if the small tells give away his unease. 

“Cody,” Fox sighs, picking up his own drink, “I need to know these things before I accept a transfer.” It’s rare for a trooper’s information to get redacted at their level of clearance. It doesn’t get much higher than marshal command.  

“Why? Because you can’t take someone unless you know they’re useful?” Cody sits up abruptly, arms folded across his chest, “since when did you start thinking like them?” 

“What? No, what are you on about?” Now it’s his turn to rub his eyes. Since the politicians started ordering decomms on those they considered useless. What’s the use in sending him here if he’ll die even faster? 

“Trocar left notes on his file. He’s brilliant, he’ll do fine here.” Cody presses on and Fox glances at the four paragraphs from the 212th’s CMO. The guy needs to learn the difference between personal opinions and official statements for a record. Though, judging from the attitude in the words, he doubts anyone could make the suggestion without getting smacked with a datapad, natborn or otherwise. 

It’s always the young ones who care too much that crack spectacularly. 

That particular sentence burns itself into his mind. 

“If he’s as brilliant as you say, why is he here?” 

Wouldn’t it make more sense for him to be out there? Saving the lives of those on the field? 

The clinks come in quick succession now. Cody’s gaze is on the drop of spilled moonshine on the table. 

“I’ve done everything I could, Fox.” He eventually says, “I thought I could help but,” He pours himself another shot, wiping away the drop with a finger, “I think we’ll lose a good medic if he stays with us out there.” 

“And you think being in the Guard can just, magically fix that? Whatever that is?” Fox takes the bottle back from Cody’s loose grasp with a bit more force than necessary.

He hates this misconception the rest of the GAR seem to have. The Guard isn’t some damn bin to collect lost and broken toys. It’s not the happy house or retreat they all think it is. Sending them here isn’t going to be some magical healing cure. 

And they’ll only be disappointed and angry once they realize the truth. As if Fox needs any more of that piled up onto his evergrowing plate of shit to deal with. 

His shin smarts from where Cody aimed a sharp kick, “you’re a bastard.” Cody scowls, but Fox refuses to stand down. 

“I’m not expecting you to turn this kid into something that’s all smiles and laughs, Fox.” The glare falters, and his brother suddenly looks very young and unsure, “I’m asking for you to help him…please.”  

Fox’s own vitriol dies down. If it’s one thing the both of them share, it’s pride. 

He looks down at the file again.

It’s always the young ones who care too much that crack spectacularly. 

“...do you really think I can?” 

“I…I don’t know.” Cody runs a hand through his hair, “but I know staying on the field will only make things worse. He’s…” He places his glass down on the table without letting it go. Clink clink. “Trocar says he’s a medic without equal. Too good maybe. He…he gives too much. And he’s going to run out of himself to give sooner or later.” 

“He needs an ori’vod.” Cody finally trails off with a bitter laugh, “and Ka’ra knows I’ve been a bad one.” 

“Shut up.” Fox kicks his brother in the leg lightly, “if you were, you wouldn’t be here being a pain in my ass about it.” He grabs Cody by the wrist when he reaches for the bottle again, “hey.” 

Cody looks at him.

“You did your best, ori’vod. I know you did.”  

The clinks stop. Cody turns his wrist to slip his palm against Fox’s, squeezing their fingers together.

“Do better.” 

Fox could only nod in silence. 

They pull away from each other and Fox pours Cody a fresh drink.

“Where is he right now?” 

“I had Waxer escort him to one of your medbays. He’s still on crutches, so I thought it would help for him to get settled in sooner than later.”

So Cody had already made up his mind well before coming to Fox. This meeting had just been a formality. If he had just wanted a drink, he should’ve just said so. Fucking asshole. 

“We’ll head down in a bit then. I want to give him a formal introduction.” Fox reaches behind the couch, leaning to grab his stylus off the desk. Might as well make it official now. 

He looks at the photo in the file. White bangs framed by vibrant red curls that barely went below his ears. The same dark eyes they all share reflect off the screen. They looked so bright and earnest. He wonders if they are now similarly dead like his own. 

He doesn’t want that at all. 

Fox scrolls to the last page of the transfer paperwork. Both Cody and Kenobi’s signatures are already in the appropriate blanks. 

He gives Cody one more look before scrawling his signature.

Welcome to our House of Joy, Remedy.

[sacredsorceress]

Milestone || Bucky Barnes

pairing: bucky barnes x avenger!reader

summary: a journey through some of the biggest milestones in yours and bucky’s relationship from the day you first met to sharing a home of your own

a/n: in this we’re gonna pretend that bucky didn’t get dusted! also reader has powers similar to those of wanda’s. reblogs and replies are super appreciated!!

word count: 3.4k

warnings: none, fluff

masterlist || request || taglist

The First Time You Met

Running down the hallway of the airport, you watched as Peter was swept off of his feet and into the air by none other than Falcon, leaving the man you recognized as the Winter Soldier in your midst. Your shoes squeaking against the floor as you stopped short, you threw your arms into the air, stopping the man from moving.

Snapping his attention towards you, he furrowed his eyebrows and you could feel him fighting against your magic. Squeezing your eyes shut you tried your hardest to keep him contained but with only so much experience, he broke through it in a minute, coming for you straight after.

“Shit.” You cursed to yourself, watching as he strode over to you.

Clasping your hands together before pulling them apart, you created a baton of sorts in just enough time to hold it in front of yourself as Bucky cornered you into a wall. Pushing him back with the beam, you grunted, trying your hardest to keep the magic from dying out.

“You’re not very good at this.” He commented, attempting to pull the magical beam from your hands.

“I’m...” You grunted. “.... new.”

Using all of your force, you shoved him back. Taking the first opportunity you saw, you began shooting blasts of magic at him while he stumbled backwards. Attempting to dodge the blasts, he moved forward, putting his hands in the air.

“Look,” He said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Watching as he stumbled backwards, closer to a ledge, you halted the blasts, tilting your head sideways.

“Lucky me.”

As soon as the words fell from your mouth, you used the rest of your force, swinging your arms backwards and then pushing forward to shove him through the railing and over the edge, his eyes wide as he fell backwards. When he fell, he took the Falcon with him. 

Glancing up above, you saw Peter, shooting a web to hold the two men to the ground. Feeling the energy in your palms, you floated down to the floor they were held to, standing above them.

“Look guys, I would love to keep this up but I’ve only got one job here today and I’ve gotta impress Mr. Stark, so I’m really sorry-” You watched as the drone took Peter’s web and pulled him through the window cutting him short, Peter screaming as it did.

Turning back to the men, you pulled the hood of your cloak over your head.

“Don’t worry about the drone thing,” You said. “I know when to see myself out.”

Turning to make your way towards the exit of the airport, you heard Bucky call from behind you.

“Hey!” He shouted. “Who are you?”

Bucky didn’t know why he was asking. He could barely even remember facts about himself, never mind keep track of every super human person he came across, but there was something nagging in his mind, begging him to learn more.

Glancing over your shoulder, looking at the Winter Soldier one last time, you smirked.

“Y/n.”

And with that you left the airport.

First Touch

The hatch to the ship opening, you stumbled down the steps, gripping Nebula’s arm to keep your balance. As Steve took hold of Tony, Pepper rushing to his side, you looked up to find the familiar face of Rhodey making his way towards you.

“I chose the wrong day to go see who Dr. Strange was.” You chuckled somberly, trying to make light of the situation.

Grabbing your arm to steady you as you slowly walked down the steps, Rhodey shook his head.

“The fight wasn't much better back here.” He said. “At least we had oxygen though. You’re not looking so good, kid.”

Too afraid to have looked at your deteriorating reflection the past three weeks, you knew he was being too kind.

It had been nearly three weeks since Thanos snapped away a half of the universe’s population, leaving you, Tony and Nebula stranded in space. You had run out of fuel weeks ago and had nearly lost hope of ever returning home as the oxygen supply began dwindling until Captain Marvel had found your ship and brought you all safely back to the Avengers Compound.

Despite being back, three weeks in space had left you exhausted, starving and dehydrated- just to name a few.

Biting back the dizziness you felt, you sighed.

“I’m- I’m fine, Rhodes.” You said, beginning to feel lightheaded. “It’s nothing-”

Missing your footing on the step, you tripped, losing your balance from Rhodey, about to hit the ground until you felt an arm wrap around your torso and the cool touch of metal grasp your hand. Looking up, you were met with the familiar face of the man you had fought two years ago at the airport in Germany, his hair cut shorter since the last time you had seen him, but recognizable nonetheless.

“Bucky Barnes?” You asked, standing up straighter with his assistance.

“Y/n.” He replied, shooting you a gentle smile.

Although you had what many would consider super-human abilities with your magic, due to being discovered after the civil war between the Avengers that had effectively split up the group- you weren't used to being recognized. Hearing your name fall from his lips felt somewhat gratifying.

“You remember my name?” You asked in disbelief

“Hard to forget the name of the woman who kicked my ass.” Bucky chuckled, helping you walk towards the doors of the Compound. “Doesn't happen often.”

For the first time in weeks you allowed yourself to smile as you gazed up at the man holding you steady, making sure you didn’t fall. When his blue eyes met yours, you adverted your gaze, turning your attention towards Natasha who wheeled a wheelchair through the doors of the Compound and towards the two of you.

Moving his flesh hand to rest on your lower back, his vibranium one still in yours, he helped you slowly ease into the chair. When you sat back in the chair, resting your feet on the footrests, you looked up at the super soldier and smiled.

“Not looking for a rematch are you?” You asked, slipping your hand out of his and resting it on your abdomen. “‘Cause I think I’m gonna need a raincheck.”

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he laughed shaking his head.

“No, I think I’m done with fighting.” He said.

Feeling Natasha pulling back on the wheelchair, about to spin your chair around and towards the doors, you threw him one last smile.

“That makes two of us.”

Just when Bucky was about to turn around and walk away as Nat wheeled you through the doors, the chair stopped and he watched as you glanced over your shoulder.

“And Sarge?” You called.

“Yeah?”

“I like the new arm.”

For the first time in decades, Bucky felt heat rise to his cheeks as he watched you tiredly speak to Natasha until you left his line of sight.

First Kiss

It had taken you nearly a month to recover from your time in space since returning back to Earth. Although you understood that there wasn’t much to be done since Thanos had wiped out half of the universe, you still felt guilty taking up space in the Compound when all you would do was lay in bed, attached to an IV. 

The one thing that made your time on bedrest a little more bearable was none other than Bucky Barnes.

Throughout your stay in bed he had consistently visited you. Though at first he was a bit shy, you had proven to be someone he could trust- assuring him that he could never be a bother to you and that you genuinely enjoyed having his company- maybe a bit too much, but you would never tell him that.

Bucky himself was surprised that he had put himself so out there with you after living such a solitary life for nearly the past 80 years, but there was just something about you that drew him to you time and time again. He couldn’t pinpoint it- whether it was your kindness, humor or intelligence- he found both joy and peace in your presence- something he had almost forgotten what it felt like to be in.

So, despite the voice in the back of his head telling him that you didn’t want to see him, he had visited you while you got better in bed, taking care of you in the littlest of ways until he watched the dark circles under your eyes fade away and your ability to walk without his assistance return.

Finally feeling somewhat better, you had insisted to bucky that you were ready to train again and no matter how many times he tried to convince you that you weren’t, he could never say no once you squeezed his hand and pouted up at him.

He was regretting not saying no to you as he now stood across from you in the training room.

“Y/n, I really don’t think this is a good idea.” He said, watching you sway in your spot despite your feet being planted to the mat.

“C’mon Barnes,” You taunted, raising your hands. “You scared?”

Just as he was about to open his mouth again, you shot a blast of magic towards him, Bucky dodging it just as it whooshed past his head.

“I wasn’t even ready!” Bucky exclaimed.

Shrugging your shoulders you formed another beam made of magic, holding either ends of it with your hands as Bucky came towards you.

Trying to plant your feet to the ground, feeling another hit of dizziness wash over you, you pushed him back with the beam, but before you could do anything more, his leg swept under yours, making you lose your balance. 

Before you fell to the ground, however, the magic in your hands diminished as you gripped your hands into Bucky’s shirt bringing him down with you.

Flipping over before you fell, you landed on top of the super soldier, your hands planted firmly on his chest. With his hands above his head that was inches away from yours, you both stared at each other- you finally noticing just how much you liked the scruff that coated his jawline and him admiring the color of your eyes and how he swore he could lose himself in them if only he had the chance.

Opening your mouth, you felt the thumping of Bucky’s heart against your fingertips that were resting on his chest as he gazed up at you.

“Your heart is beating really fast.” You whispered, out of breath despite you barely having trained.

“Yeah, it does that when I see you.”

You could barely believe what you were hearing until you felt Bucky’s hands come up and cup your face, glancing down at your lips before back to your eyes, asking wordlessly for your approval. 

Unable to form a coherent sentence, you eagerly nodded back at him.

Before you could even process it, you felt Bucky’s lips meeting yours as he pulled you into a kiss, his hands moving from cupping your face to wrapping around your body, pulling you tight against him. All you could remember thinking was that despite his tough exterior, his lips were soft and you could lose yourself in the comfort of having his arms around you all day if he let you.

Pulling away first, a beaming smile spread across Bucky’s face as he rubbed circles against your back.

“If you wanted to kiss me so bad,” He teased. “You could’ve just asked.”

First “I Love You”

Sitting on the edge of the rooftop, your legs swinging in the air, you offered the bag of popcorn in your hand to your boyfriend who was sat beside you. Taking his eyes off of the view in front of him, he grabbed a fistful of the salty treat from the bag, popping it in his mouth.

“Did you have stuff like this back in the olden times?” You asked, laying your head on his shoulder.

“What?” He asked despite his mouth being full. “You mean fireworks? How old do you think I am?”

Laughing at how he mocked offense over your question, you sat up straight, pecking his cheek.

“One hundred doesn’t sound much better, babe.”

Rolling his eyes, knowing that you loved him anyway, he brushed off the remaining salt from his fingertips, wrapping his vibranium arm around your shoulders to pull you closer to him.

Just as he pressed a gentle kiss against your temple, he jumped in his spot as he heard the loud sound of the first firework shooting up into the air over the water before “popping” and bursting into an array of color.

“Look!” You exclaimed, pointing towards the display. “It’s starting!”

Although he took a quick glance at the firework display, his attention was purely focused on you. He couldn’t help but admire the way the colorful lights reflected on your skin or how you had a hint of an open smile on your face watching as the fireworks burst midair. No show could compare to looking at you.

He couldn't help but feel his heart race in his chest, breath caught in his throat as he admired your beauty- even when you were still in your suit from watching over the parade with him earlier that evening. He was convinced there wasn’t a single thing about you that he wasn’t completely enamored with and you only gave him more reasons to love you every single day.

Before he even realized what he was saying, admiring you in complete bliss and utter awe, the words slipped out of his mouth.

“I love you.”

He thought you wouldn’t be able to hear, the sound of another firework popping ringing in his ear, but when you turned towards him, your eyes wide and mouth agape, he knew you had.

“Did you just say that you love me?” You asked, fireworks continuing to burst behind you.

Not one to lie- especially not to you- he nodded his head.

“Yeah.”

A smile beginning to form on your face, you grabbed the strap on his jacket, pulling him closer to you.

“I love you too.”

Leaning in, you pressed your lips against his, the sound of the finale of the display ringing behind you as the fireworks burst one after another in air, every color imaginable washing over your joined figures sitting on the edge of the rooftop on that cool summer night, almost as if it were taking the feeling shared between the two of you and bringing it to life for the world to see.

First Home

“Okay!” You nodded, pointing to the corner of your living room. “That one can go over there. Thank you so much for your help, Steve.”

“I helped Buck move into his first apartment, Y/n.” Steve said wiping his hands on his pants. “I wouldn’t miss stuff like this for anything.”

Smiling at Steve’s comment, you felt Bucky’s vibranium hand land on your lower back, pulling you closer. Leaning into his touch, you wrapped your arm around him in return, staring up at your boyfriend.

“Yeah and the first time he was about a foot shorter and a hundred pounds lighter.” Bucky chuckled. “This is easy for him.”

Watching Natasha set down the last box on top of a pile of the others in the kitchen, you excused yourself from your boyfriend and his best friend, making your way into the other room.

When you had left the two of them’s earshot, Bucky watching as you left, Steve rested his hand on Bucky's shoulder, squeezing it gently.

“You know,” Steve said. “I’m happy for you, Buck. I think this is gonna be good for you.”

Bucky couldn’t help but smile at his friend’s comment- despite how cheesy it was- because he knew it was true.

When Bucky’s memory had finally been cleared, a part of him had always feared that even though he had been given a new chance at life, he would never have a normal one. Although he knew “normal” was a strong term for the life you two shared together given that he was a century old super soldier and you had magical abilities- you had given him a chance at a peaceful life full of love and contentment which was all he could ever dream of asking for. 

The idea of finding love and having a family was something that he worried was left eighty years in the past, but you proved to him that life didn’t end for him when he fell from that train- if anything it brought him the beginning he had always hoped for.

“Sure you won’t miss me too bad, pal?” Bucky asked.

Taking his hand back from Bucky’s shoulder, Steve laughed shoving his hand in his pockets.

“No, I think I’m used to it by now.” Steve chuckled. “It’s just like you to be able to find a woman with shared life experience even when half the world disappears.”

Shaking his head at his friend’s joke, he shoved him playfully.

“C’mon, ya’know this is different.” Bucky said. “I think this is the last one for me.”

Without missing a beat, Steve smiled.

“I know.”

Hearing the sound of you and Natasha’s footsteps stepping back into the room, Bucky kept his mouth shut, feeling your hand run over his shoulder as you stood beside him.

“Don’t forget about me now that you have your own place, okay Y/n?” Nat said crossing her arms.

“Don’t worry.” You told her. “I’ll come visit every day.”

“Well, not every day-” Bucky interjected.

“No. I meant what I said. Every day, Nat. You’ll wish you never said anything.”

Once the laughter that had erupted in the room settled, Steve and Nat said their goodbyes to you and your boyfriend, you both waving them off as you shut the door behind them. When the door was shut and you and Bucky were left in your new apartment alone together, you rushed over to your bag by the door, pulling a neatly wrapped gift out of it.

“What’s this?” Bucky asked as you handed him the present.

“Just a little housewarming gift.” You smiled.

Gazing at your smiling face, a smile finding its way onto his, he looked down at the present in his hands, carefully tearing the paper off of the gift to reveal a framed photo of the two of you.

A framed photo of the two of you fighting in an airport three years ago on the day you first met.

“So, Tony had put a camera in Peter’s suit back before we went and fought you guys.” You explained. “And I thought it had to be gone since Peter was... you know... but it turned out that Tony still had the footage so I was able to find some from that day at the airport and in it there was this quick little shot of us fighting and I just had to have it, Buck.”

Flipping the frame around at you, he raised his eyebrows.

“A photo of us fighting?”

“Yes!” You told him. “Do you like it?”

Despite the fact that it was a photo of the two of you fighting- a fight that he had gotten his ass kicked in no less- he loved it more than anything else you could have possibly given him because it was the day he met you. It was the day his life changed and he didn’t even know it in the moment.

Although your story was far from “normal” it was your story and that’s what mattered the most to him.

“I love it, doll.” He said, pulling you into his embrace. “This is a crazy story to tell our kids though, huh?”

“All of them are.” You laughed into his chest. “But I wouldn't have it any other way, Buck. I love you.”

Pressing a kiss to the top of your head, a photograph of the day your story first began in his hand, he smiled.

“I love you too.”

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Okay but I would LOVE to here your heretical opinions on Padame if you ever want to share them or any of your other views on star wars prequel characters. Your character analysises are INCREDIBLE and really fun to read <3

Oh boy, are you sure about that? Well, the ask has been made so here, we, gooooooooooooooo!

Padme’s one of those strange characters who appears as one thing but in actuality is quite different. Because she appears as the first thing, and it’s something people really like, most people accept that at face value and if she’s not always consistent--well, she came from a series of screenplays written by George Lucas.

Padme comes across as a very noble, kind, and courageous character who is also quite politically savvy. At fourteen, against all odds, she saves her planet from invasion when the Senate did nothing, secured herself an ally in the chancellor (nevermind him being secretly Palpatine), and even after relinquishing her title as queen remains a major player in the senate for years and is seen as enough of a threat to warrant several assassination attempts (one so bad she has to be guarded by Jedi and sent home to Naboo for several weeks). 

And I’m not saying she’s not any of these things. Padme is very courageous, is one of those odd politicians who... believes she stands for what she believes in (more on this later), and has a remarkable political career.

However, she’s also romantic to the point of being completely and utterly delusional, self-centered, and frankly a little nuts.

(Yeah, you knew you were waiting for me to say something terrible, WEREN’T YOU?!) Right, so what’s wrong with Padme?

Well, if you look closely at a few of her choices, the ones that never seemed to make much sense, then you can look at her other choices and... Well, it all sort of comes together. 

That’s right, I’m talking about “Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith”.

Attack of the Clones we have the very lackluster and strange romance of Anakin and Padme.

On Anakin’s end, his infatuation with Padme makes a lot of sense. She was part of the party that rescued him from slavery, she was very kind to him, and was the prettiest girl he’s ever seen in his life. Ten years later, always having harbored a crush on her memory and keeping it alive through whatever news he hears of her, she’s grown into a very beautiful woman and Anakin is by chance introduced back into her life. I get why Anakin falls head over heels for Padme, I’ll get more into this later and how their relationship has some major issues (aside from the obvious), but I understand why he marries this girl out of nowhere even when it could get him thrown out of the Jedi. (As an aside, since this is more of a Padme post, I think Anakin was spurred on in part also by the death of his mother and his massacre of the Tusken Raiders. Anakin’s life was flipped upside down in a very short amount of time, one of his great emotional ties is suddenly gone, and I think he has this internal crisis that culminates in him deciding to marry Padme. Without this, he and Padme may have become lovers, but I don’t think he’d marry her).

On Padme’s end... it’s a little less clear. Anakin has grown into an attractive young man, yes. Take out all of George Lucas’ dialogue, and maybe Padme finds Anakin very charming. However, Padme secretly marries a Jedi she’s known for three weeks. Now, I’d be a bit more forgiving of this, love is love and we can’t always think rationally, but there’s some other things.

Unlike Anakin, Padme hasn’t been spending the past ten years romanticizing her memory of Anakin Skywalker. When they met in Phantom Menace, Anakin was not only five years younger than her, he was nine-years-old. To fourteen-year-old Padme, Anakin was not then dating material and was instead this poor boy in slavery. Which means while Anakin has build up justifying this rapid romance, Padme really doesn’t. What this means is that her romance with Anakin reads a lot more like a romantic fantasy. Cute dashing bodyguard shows up, saves her life, through contrived circumstances they’re sent back to beautiful Naboo where they spend time together, only cute bodyguard is a Jedi and can’t marry, which makes their love excitingly taboo! 

Everything Padme does, before and after this point, lends itself to this overdeveloped sense of romance. Padme wants to be whisked away, wants to have this secret unsustainable marriage with a man who cannot be married, she’s in love with the idea of being in love. Given how little time she spends with Anakin, how little they really know of each other, I’d say she’s more in love with the idea of Anakin than Anakin Skywalker himself. And this isn’t a bad thing necessarily, or at least not a grievous flaw, however, that’s not all. 

Padme chooses to marry Anakin knowing he murdered an entire village of men, women, and children. She marries him almost immediately after the massacre of the Tusken Raiders. Note, she does not learn about this later and have to come to terms with it, she is right there. She is on Tatooine with him and sees him go to do it and then return. 

Padme doesn’t take it... particularly well, that said, she also seems to shove it under the carpet immediately. She, first, marries Anakin within days after this event. She second, never really has a “holy fuck, Anakin” conversation with him. And worst yet, she never confesses to anyone else. Padme is a hypocrite and willing to sacrifice everything she believes in, albeit I believe unwittingly, for her romantic fantasy.

She tells no one about what happened. An entire village was brutally massacred, those who are already poor and oppressed and have no voice, by a man who is supposed to be a protector of all people in the galaxy. I’m sorry, Anakin, but if Padme was who you think she is then she would have to tell the Jedi Order at the very least if not the Republic. Instead, there are no consequences, only Anakin’s descent into guilt and madness as three years pass with it festering in the back of his mind.  Padme does not stand for the poor, for the people, or for justice. She only does so when it does not conflict with her own interests, i.e. her actions regarding the invasion of Naboo. More, I do not believe Padme has the introspection to realize this about herself, she never realizes that not narking on Anakin was very very very bad. Three years pass and she lives the whirlwind romantic fantasy that she and Anakin both want. They’re secret lovers/spouses, meeting up at the oddest hours of the day and... This is three years of this ridiculous affair. Three years to come to terms with the fact that something must change. And then the kicker, Padme gets pregnant, and this is where the extra delusional comes in.

The child should have been a signal of the end. There can be no more secret now. Padme is having a child, presumably out of wedlock, and even if space is very very very different from our society I imagine this would be quite the scandal that could even get her thrown out of the senate. I believe Padme mentions as much to Anakin. More, Anakin is no longer a lover, he is now a father. What’s supposed to happen now? They raise this secret child, instructing them that Anakin is only a father in private, never in public?

Anakin and Padme briefly flirt with the idea of Anakin leaving the order. Anakin even wants to do so, but it... never happens. Now is the time it absolutely should happen. Yes, Anakin’s a big part of the war effort, but he could at least start talking to the Order and they could decide if it’d be a slow or fast exit. 

My theory, Padme’s too in love with the fantasy. Anakin leaving means he’s no longer a Jedi, it means he’ll come to Naboo, be unemployed and be around. Anakin visiting will no longer be this romantic, fraught with the danger of being found out, passionate, short lived event for Padme. It’ll become real life. He’ll be a real, ordinary man, she’ll be a real, ordinary, woman, and that spark of romance will be gone.

I don’t think Padme wants that. 

Which is why, even with the child on the way, we see Anakin and Padme continue to play out this ridiculous secret lovers fantasy. And then, of course, Anakin goes insane off screen.

Padme is told that, once again, Anakin has murdered dozens of children. Of course, this is a terrible thing to be told and she can’t process it. She needs to find Anakin and confront him, but people always criticize Lucas here and feel it’s out of character for Padme to have run to Anakin in sobbing hysterics with no plan of enacting vengence.

Frankly, I think it’s very in character. She did nothing about the Tuskens, remember? I think at the end of the day, the murder of the Jedi children means very little to her. What hurts Padme the most is that the fantasy of Anakin she married is not real. The Anakin she married would never murder the Jedi children, betray the Republic, or do any of what he’s done. And I think Padme only has that strong, iron, will when she knows the world she’s in. With the Trade Federation, her stance was obvious. Her people were being oppressed, butchered, and invaded. In this case, the world she knew no longer exists.

The Republic is gone, perhaps hasn’t existed in thirteen years, as it turns out the senator who had always been her biggest supporter was a Sith Lord. The Jedi are gone, children murdered by Anakin while those in the field are picked off by their own clone soldiers. Padme’s world has fallen apart, and I think that makes it much harder for her to be the girl we saw in Phantom Menace. In time, perhaps, she would have joined the rebellion but... I do think Padme might have also given into despair.

So, yeah, that’s Padme for you.

[iraprince]

this might not be something you personally have difficulty with, but i was recently diagnosed with severe adhd and i was wondering if you had any tips regarding just like….drawing?? i have such a hard time getting started even though i usually end up feeling pretty stoked and happy with my work if i manage to get something down. i used to draw constantly as a kid to help me focus in class, but in my adult life i just feel like there are so many invisible barriers between myself and putting pencil to paper. i’m sure there are a lot of perfectionism issues involved as well, so i guess just any sort of advice in any of those areas would be greatly appreciated! your work is fantastic and i’m really grateful that you share adhd stuff as well!! have a great day! :o)

i actually have a LOT of difficulty with this -- i have more difficulty than i have advice, probably! but my advice always ends up boiling down to the same thing lately, and it sounds really hokey but i mean it as literally as possible bc it's the only thing that consistently works for me: be fucking nice to yourself!

for a long time the only solution i had to being Inexplicably Unable To Do Something was to yell at myself, bully myself, assume that i wasn't trying hard enough, and end up a miserable little ball of confusion and frustration. it was def worse before i was diagnosed, but it's definitely not gone (sometimes "i don't know why i can't just do it!" just gets replaced with "well, i know what the problem is, so why can't i find a way around it?!"). and after many many years of experience with the bullying reaction vs a much shorter time comparing this reaction to other, kinder approaches, i can say with a lot of confidence that handling it with internal yelling and shaming doesn't work, straight up. it's not helpful, and most of the time it makes things worse -- even if you manage to force yourself to complete a task once or twice like this, it's too exhausting and demoralizing to be sustainable. so, while you haven't mentioned frustration in your question, that's still where my mind goes as a first step: if you're experiencing distress or anger or embarrassment over running into those barriers over and over again, the first step is practicing being calm and forgiving, not immediately trying to find a way around it. once you hit the wall and you find you can calmly go "oh, okay! this isn't working. let's figure out why" instead of immediately launching into "what the fuck is WRONG with me????", finding solutions is a lot easier.

the times i've surprised myself by having things just suddenly Flow after a long period of struggling are usually brought about by a ton of excitement and enthusiasm! i get really into a rarepair and i'm gripped with the need to make my own content, or i make a new oc who i really love, or i get back into a piece of media i haven't touched in a while and get all charged up with excitement. you gotta feed the tank to make stuff, so setting time aside to consume stuff that inspires and excites you is just as important as setting the time aside to actually sit down and try to draw.

another thing that has helped me is trying to be really purposeful abt reminding myself WHY i draw; sometimes, especially since it's my job, the images i'm supposed to be making just turn into this big featureless stack of Tasks instead of me really thinking about + appreciating what i do and why i love it. when i'm in a rut with commissions, for example, sometimes before i even try to start working (or if i HAVE tried to start and it's just not happening), i stop and sit down with the wips and really LOOK at them. i go through them one at a time and point out things i like about them or what i'm looking forward to doing: "the pose came out so good on the first try and i want to see what it'll look like finished," or "detailing all this hair is going to be so fun and relaxing." when you get so caught up in the constant repeated thought of "i just want to DO something, i want to DRAW," especially when it's been days or weeks or months where you can't, i think you can unconsciously start replacing "i want to draw because it's fun and i like what i make" with "i want to draw because i keep failing to and i just want to prove i can still do it," and for me the latter thought is usually way more distressing than it is motivating.

and finally, a failsafe: sometimes, when i can remember to do it, my secret weapon is counting down at myself for the tiniest steps possible. like i'll literally say out loud, "on the count of five, i'm going to stand up and go get my sketchbook. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...." it has to be out loud and i think the reason it works is because like. if you say it out loud, reach five, and you don't do it, you feel astronomically goofy??? and then i just go from there: "on the count of 5, i'm going to find an empty page." "on the count of 5, i'm going to start sketching a head." it kind of forces through the executive dysfunction in a way i haven't really been able to replicate with anything else. it doesn't always work in a super meaningful way -- like, plenty of times i do like three steps and then i'm like "i hate this and i don't want to and i'm not gonna make anything good like this so i give up!" and then i just take the L for the afternoon. but when the "frozen in place, literally cannot stop just staring at the page" thing is the main issue, it might be enough of a push to get going!

as always here's me going "oh oop no i dont have a lot sorry" and then rambling for paragraphs and paragraphs but by now we should be used to that. good luck, and remember 2 be patient + nice :D

[littlemissnoname13]

Blaise’s Cup of Tea (D.M)

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

Warnings: some mentions of alcohol, very mild sexual themes, nothing too explicit, Draco being a fûxkboy ,Draco being a huge simp

Summary: where Draco is secretly in love with his best friend’s fiancée

Word count: 2122

A/n: had this idea in the shower and I couldn’t help myself. The blog has been a mess recently and for that I apologise.

For Draco Malfoy, a typical night usually consisted of three things. 

First, a glass of his favourite spirit; preferably scotch in his hand.

Second, a cigar tucked in between his fingers

And third, a random girl in his bed chambers. It didn't matter if his company for the night shared the same interests as him, it didn't matter if she liked him for who he was or if she liked him solely for being the heir to the massive Malfoy fortune. 

Come morning, he would never have to see her again anyway. 

His Father, Lucius always chastised him for bringing a different girl as a plus one to social events. Even Narcissa wasn't all too pleased about her son engaging in all these hedonistic activities and bedding random girls. 

The friends he’d grown up with were all well on their way to settling down and having children while he was still not even close to having a serious relationship. 

“Why can’t you be more like Zabini?” Lucius would say, everytime the Malfoys sat down for a family dinner. Narcissa would agree to this while expressing her desire for grandchildren and Draco would have to refrain from choking on his dinner. 

Blaise Zabini, was happily engaged to longtime girlfriend Daphne Greengrass and they were busy planning their Summer wedding. 

Every time Draco would meet Blaise for a drink, all he’d talk about was Daphne, the wedding, floral arrangements, invites and party favours. Just last week, Blaise even confessed to having already thought out names for his future children. 

Taking a final sip of his scotch, Draco placed his glass on his desk and returned to his bed, where a random brunette girl was peacefully asleep. 

He took a few moments to recall her given name in his mind but this attempt remained futile. He couldn’t even remember how he felt while they were doing the deed a few hours prior. 

His father was right, he was slowly turning into, for a lack of a better term, “Pig person.”

As he quietly slipped into his bed next to the brunette, he started to think about all the one night stands he’d had in the last few months. 

One night stands are appropriately called one night stands for a reason. He knew that. 

But it wasn't his fault he couldn’t get that one particular night from four months ago with that one particular girl out of his system. 

It had all started out so innocently. 

A chance encounter at a bar, alcohol fueled conversation, his hands on her hips on the dance floor and his lips on her lips by the end of the night. 

He’d never before met anybody so charming yet painfully frustrating in his life. 

Y/n. Y/l/n. 

Distinctive features, expressive eyes and lips that quirked upward with a wicked smile.She had one of those faces that had the capability of engraving itself into one’s subconscious and the way her brows furrowed in annoyance indicated that she might have been aware and unnerved by it. 

In the few hours he’d spent with her, she’d stimulated his brain with her wits and intellect. She’d made him care about uninteresting things like the witch burnings in the 14th Century. She’d challenged his predetermined notions and world view.

Everything about her was vivacious.

Her effervescence reminded him of a freshly opened bottle of sparkling Rosé on a hot summers day. Crisp yet sweet if you took in a moment for the flavours to sink in. 

And Merlin was this girl could kiss!

The way she gently nipped on his lower lip and teasingly traced her tongue left him with something more to be desired. 

Nothing happened with Y/n that night. Nothing except feverish kisses and whispers of “I want you.”

They’d spent the whole night talking. He’d never spent the night with a girl and not done anything before. 

And she’d left before he could even manage to open his eyes the next morning. 

She’d disappeared without a sign or trace.

Nothing but her fruity fresh scent on his pillows remained to remind him that she was in fact real and not some hallucination. 

Draco went the the very same bar again the next day with his hopes held high. He wanted to see her again. He needed to see her again. 

But to his utter dismay, y/n never showed up. 

Soon, it became a habit of his to go to the bar and wait for her.

He’d gotten so desperate at one point that he even interrogated the bar keep about the girl that had seemingly managed to capture his attention in the span of a night. 

But no matter how hard he tried, Draco never got any answers. 

She became nothing but a distant ghost of a rather blissfully perfect night. 

Just when he was about to toss away the memories of y/n and her pretty lips inside a locked and chained box in his head, he heard his house elf appear with a pop into his bed chambers. 

“Master Malfoy, this letter just came for you.” The elf said quietly as he stretched out his arm to hand Draco a sealed envelope. 

Draco would have told his elf off for appearing in his chambers in the middle of the night but decided against it when he saw the scrawl of Blaise’s messy handwriting on the envelope. 

It was two in the morning and a rather odd time for Blaise to be sending him a letter. 

Assuming that it must be something urgent, Draco quickly ripped open the seal and unfolded the letter. 

Draco, 

I write this with a heavy heart and I write this with nothing for company except a bottle of bourbon. 

Daphne left me this morning. 

The wedding is off and it is all my fault. 

To be honest, It did feel like things were going too fast and we were jumping to life altering decisions without taking the time to think and contemplate. 

After thinking all day, I have decided to get married after all. 

Your mother has been rather kind and offered to set me up with a girl that is supposedly “perfect for me.” Although I definitely trust her judgement, It would be great if you could “assist” Narcissa in her search. You are my best friend after all. 

B.Z.

By the time Draco was done reading Blaise’s letter, the girl sleeping next to him had started to toss and turn in her sleep. 

~~~

When his mum flooed into his residence the next morning, Draco’s company for the night, who was named Sylvia by the way, was just on her way out. 

Sylvia was rather laid back and was looking for nothing other than a rebound. Draco had offered her tea but she’d politely declined stating that she had brunch planned with her friends anyway. 

“And who is this charming young lady, Draco?” Narcissa asked. 

“She’s Sylvia and Sylvia was just on her way out.” Draco said in a clipped voice before literally shoving an annoyed looking Sylvia into the fireplace. 

“It was nice meeting you Mrs. Malfoy.” Sylvia said in a calm and polite voice, with floo powder in her hands. “See you around Draco.” 

“And I thought, you were finally serious for once.” Narcissa sighed before sinking down into one of the many chairs Draco had in his living room. 

Draco wanted to say something sarcastic in response but he bit his tongue and held it all back. There were more pressing matters at hand that required his attention. Like helping his mum find an appropriate match for Blaise who has so casually placed such a huge responsibility on his shoulders. 

The responsibility required him to go on multiple, rather tiresome “dates” set up by his mother. 

The first girl he met mistook him for Blaise. 

The second girl he met confessed that she was being coaxed into the meeting by her overbearing parents and had a secret Muggle boyfriend that she loved with her whole heart. 

The third girl he met was one of Blaise’s ex girlfriends.

The fourth girl turned out to be one of Draco’s own one night stands that had ended on a sour note.

It was safe to say that Draco returned to his mother that night with his shirt stained burgundy from the wine she’d poured over his head. He deserved it though.

Narcissa even agreed that he’d deserved it because she broke into a chuckle when her son walked into the Malfoy Manor with drops of wine falling from his blond hair. 

“Well this is a disaster.” Draco muttered to his mother who gave him an accomplished looking smile in return.

“This was a Disaster.” She quipped, before leaning towards the coffee table to pour herself some more tea. “Luckily, I’ve already found someone I deem to be a suitable partner for Blaise.”

“You have?” 

“I have. I too have been pulling some reins and meeting people personally for Blaise. He is like a son to me after all.” 

“Looks like I got splashed with a vintage red for no apparent reason then.” Draco muttered before using his wand to summon a clean cotton shirt. 

Narcissa simply shook her head at her son and stood up from her chair. “I’ve actually invited her for tea today so that you’d be able to meet her as well. Why don’t you fix your hair and put on a clean shirt before she gets here hm?”

Draco knew there was no point in arguing with his mother. 

When Narcissa Malfoy wanted things done, she’d sure as hell go ahead and get them done. A true Slytherin she was. 

He quickly unbuttoned his shirt and used a cleaning charm on his hair. He would have preferred to shower but he didn’t really have the time to dilly-dally around.

“Fancy seeing you here.” He heard a voice say, just as he was about to put on his clean shirt. 

It was a familiar voice and it raised prickling goosebumps all over his exposed flesh.

The goosebumps were a natural reaction to hearing a voice he’d replayed over and over in his head every single night for the last four months. 

In front of him stood Y/n Y/l/n in the flesh. Very much real and not a ghost of his imagination, clad in a blush coloured midi dress with a sweetheart neckline. 

He opened his mouth to answer but his mother beat him to it. 

“Welcome to our home. Sit down, have some tea with us.” Narcissa said in her best hostess voice and all Draco could do was force his hanging jaw shut. 

~~~~~~

The next few hours felt like the longest yet shortest few hours of his life. 

He was still processing the fact that he had in fact seen the girl, the ghost, the memory right in front of his eyes, wearing a dress that made her look like a scene in a vintage film. 

His palms were sweaty, his head was reeling, his throat was as dry as the Sahara and he could barely pay any attention to a word his mother was saying. 

“Draco?” Narcissa cleared her throat when he failed to respond. “Draco dear, are you listening?”

“Yes mother.” He replied curtly before taking a sip of his tea in a desperate attempt to soothe his throat. 

After what seemed like another torturous hour of tea and polite conversation, you thanked Narcissa for having you and leaned in to place a chaste kiss on his cheek before taking the floo network. 

“The Y/l/n family has been a friend to our family for years.” Narcissa commented. “I think Blaise would be rather fond of y/n. What do you think, Draco?”

He wanted to tell his mother about the time he spent with you four months ago.

He wanted to tell her that he was ready for a serious relationship if it was with you. 

He never really cared for the colour pink but it suddenly felt like a rather nice colour. 

You were witty, clever, sincere and extremely gorgeous. Of course Blaise would like you. He’d be a fool not to. 

After taking a few more seconds to carefully contemplate the situation at hand, Draco finally opened his mouth. 

“Yes, I think Blaise would like Y/n.”

Narcissa looked at him with a satisfied smile and the weight of a fully grown giant landed on Draco’s shoulder. 

Maybe you weren't Blaise’s cup of tea.

Maybe he’ll get back together with Daphne. Yeah, that would be perfect. 

But what if he didn’t?

Could Draco live his whole life knowing that he was absolutely smitten with his Best Friend’s soon to be Fiancée?

~~~

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Lots of love as always,

Vi

[omegasmileyface]

Bound by the Food Chain

"man what if there was something incorporating both the Ghost King and Ghost Hunger aus" i say, not prepared to spend weeks writing up an entire ecosystem structure for the ghost zone,

thanks @attackradish and @ectolemonades for help figuring out the science and writing!

summary: The ghostly Staff who've taken up residence in Phantom's Keep notice Danny doesn't eat any ectoplasmic food. That can't be good for him.

warnings: detailed description of ghost hunger, which is vaguely like cannibalism

words: 2830

AO3 link

===

“King Phantom, when do you feed?”

“Huh?” Danny looked up at the Keep’s Librarian, Vellum. It felt like an odd question, seeing as he was currently actively eating a sandwich he had packed up with him into the Zone. He was spending a few hours in the Keep that day since it was nice and quiet for getting work — from both realms — done, and he had brought some earth food over. Ghost plants just didn’t taste very good.

Vellum looked a little shocked, like she hadn’t realized she’d asked her question aloud. “I mean, clearly you eat human food quite a bit,” she gestured to his sandwich, “but I’ve never seen you take in any sort of ectoplasmic substance.”

Danny wasn’t an expert on the (strangely psychological) ecology of the Infinite Realms, but he was familiar with the fact that all ghosts had to take in some sort of ectoplasm if they wanted to be anything more than an inert impression of emotion. Since he had never gotten any enjoyment or significant energy from eating ghost plants or breathing in the stuff ambient in the air, he pretty much just stuck with eating human food and converting the chemical energy between his forms. He was lucky that he could do that, being part human. He knew he automatically gained some energy from the human emotions around him (including his own, another benefit of being liminal) but it was negligible. He got drained pretty easily, and he knew there were things he wasn’t trying, but… he was tired, not desperate. He’d be tired anyway, with his lack of sleep.

“That’s because I don’t. I can still use the chemical energy I get from human food in my ghost form, so…” he shrugged. “This is pretty much it.”

Vellum’s brows furrowed in concern. “Are you not a—” She pursed her lips. “Are you not tired?”

“What do you mean? I definitely eat more than a regular human, and as far as I’m aware I don’t lose any of my energy in conversion. I’m getting by.”

“I think we should talk to Dr. Marchs. I don’t know if it’s… ok, that you’re not feeding ectoplasmically.”

With some exasperation, Danny let himself be brought back to the Throne room, the preferred place for anything that could constitute a “meeting”. Apparently, talking to the Keep’s Doctor, Chef, and some other Staff members about his diet counted.

The various adult ghosts looked at Danny with shared expressions of confusion and concern from where they stood around him. He was sitting on the arm of the Throne, not the most comfortable but it still felt wrong to be properly seated in it unless necessary.

Dr. Marchs finally spoke their piece. “Forgive me for asking, Your Majesty, but… are you not a hunting-ghost?”

Danny was already out of his league culturally. He had a lot to learn. “As in… like, a predator?”

“Exactly! Your core best processes ectoplasm directly from other ghosts, correct?”

Danny paled. “I don’t… know? I tend to avoid going around, just… eating other sentient creatures.” He tried to say it in a humorous way. It didn’t work.

“So you’ve never tried! I had thought… Well, I think you must be a hunting-ghost. You put out a radiant power that is only associated with that core type.”

“None of us have seen you feeding,” added Vellum, “so we weren’t sure you didn’t just defy that association. I don’t think anyone really understands all the complications of half-human physiology.”

Dr. Marchs jumped back in easily. “It’s still just speculation. You have said that you don’t enjoy eating plants from this realm, yes?” Danny nodded. “And you don’t seem to get significant relief from human emotion. Well, we’re just going to have to have you try feeding on some ghosts.”

Danny jumped to his feet. “What?! I don’t… need that, I get by fine on human food!”

“But aren’t you tired?” pointed out the Chef. Her eyes widened. “That’s why you get so drained after using big attacks! Your energy reserves aren’t being nearly refilled.”

“I believe she’s right, Your Majesty. There’s only so much energy you can take from human food, which isn’t even alive… I think you’re always tired because your core is designed to have a level of energy that you can’t provide it without processing Vital ectoplasm.”

Danny didn’t want to admit that he was consistently pretty damn tired. Instead he tried to change the subject. Ghosts were passionate beings, and as much as he hated to take advantage of that, having one of the Keep Staff gush about one of their passions to him was much better than talking about his relationship with what was essentially cannibalism. “Vital?”

Dr. Marchs’ eyes sparkled a little. “Vital as in living, not as in essential. Ectoplasm comes in three major forms. Ambient plasm makes up most of the Realms, in environments and atmospheres and auras. All ghosts are made up of Vital plasm, and those with cores have their Obsession or Purpose imprinted into the crystal structure of their own ectoplasm, which can be turned into Charged ectoplasm. The Charged form can take up an elemental type according to the ability of its source, and it has the most capacity to hold or be converted into ectoenergy. The Charged form is used to transmit intention onto a target, so it’s generally created by Cored ghosts, who are creatures of intention, in attacks or construction. Regardless of type or state, ectoplasm processing depends on its form — Uncored ghosts can process strong human emotions or Ambient ectoplasm into the Vital type. Among Cored ghosts, hunter-ghosts can best process Vital ectoplasm, gatherer-ghosts the high-activity type of Ambient plasm found in ghost plants, and scavenger-ghosts human emotion. Additionally, Charged plasm no longer linked to the source of its intention will eventually disperse into Ambient, as its most inert form.”

Danny, sitting down, had already known part of that, but the Doctor was properly smiling at this point. Dr. Marchs blushed as they realized they had just been talking, but none of the other ghosts in the room appeared to mind.

“…Regardless, King Phantom, we should really find some blobs for you to try eating. I cannot in good conscience leave you persisting off such low energy.”

He wanted to argue, he really did, but all the Keep Staff present were looking at Danny with this pleading expression. They looked genuinely concerned, and he remembered a comment he’d heard before about some of the Staff latching onto the King with their Obsessions. Some unfortunate result of the connection they’d formed with the Keep, Danny certainly didn’t deserve it, but he did know how it felt to Obsess over taking care of someone and have them turn down that care. With the same concerned look directed back their way, he got up and was led to the Garden out back.

Danny was having second thoughts again once he found himself surrounded by blobs that had been enjoying the intricate plants and high Ambient ecto levels of the Keep Garden. They were squishy but soft, like mochi coated in a good layer of starch, each a bit smaller than his head, and they all looked at him with these big vibrant eyes. Their postures were energetic, like they expected to play a game.

Once he sat down with the rest of the small group — why did he have to have an audience? — the blobs swarmed around him, resting on the sky blue grass and on his shoulders and in the others’ laps. They looked almost as expectant as the Staff in front of him.

“I…“ he bit his lip. “I can’t justify eating a living creature when I can choose not to. I know lots of ghosts have to eat others to persist, but I have the privilege that I can eat human food instead. Since I have that option, I can’t just… end another creature so I can feel a bit better.” Hey, Sam would be proud of him.

The present Staff donned looks of confusion. An Advisor who used the Keep as a home spoke up, eyes wide with realization. “Ah! Living creatures all share a survival instinct — that’s a natural result of evolution, yes? Things that do their best to live have their genes passed on? That’s not necessary for Uncored ghosts, since they do not reproduce and therefore don’t evolve. The only instincts experienced by the Uncored are instincts to better the Realms. Unless they’ve developed a strong individual personality, the Uncored are much more interested in contributing than in persisting.”

Danny’s head tilted in curiosity. Dr. Marchs took the reins on the rest of the explanation.

“The Realms are built socially where the living realm is built physically. Our homes and well-being are made from emotion, belief, and community. So for Uncored ghosts, spawned of the dimension itself, they want their ectoplasm and energy to be where it supports those communities the most, and that means ensuring the health of the ghosts in charge. Generally speaking, the more powerful a ghost is, the more likely they are to have some importance to the Realms. The Uncored — and many Cored — can sense a ghost’s power due to how much excess ectoplasm they let off. In fact, that excess is almost immediately put off as Ambient ectoplasm, meaning that there is simply more Ambient plasm around a powerful ghost, and the Uncored are often attracted since that provides sustenance for them . It’s a mutualistic relationship where one entity feeds off another, and in the end the resources of the weaker ghosts are given to the stronger, supporting the Realms. In fact, there are some cultures who believe that converting ectoplasm into a form the Cored can process is the entire reason for the existence of the Uncored.”

Vellum smiled slightly as she added on, “It’s not an entirely accurate strategy, as the most powerful ghost around is not always going to be a hunter type. They usually are, seeing as that’s the most efficient form of feeding, but it’s not impossible to be otherwise. The result in these cases is Uncored ghosts following around said Cored ghost, and as the same aspect of community comes into play, that ghost soon ends up hanging around a hunter type, who feeds on the prey that was collected.”

Danny cringed a little at the use of the word “prey”.

He looked around at the blobs nuzzled up against him. Those who didn’t look to be something resembling unconscious were peering up at him. They certainly looked expectant, as much as something without even a permanent mouth can.

After he was silent for a few moments, another Staff member spoke up, likely wanting to lighten his mood. “They really do like you! I’m not surprised, even aside from your natural power, the role you play as High King causes ectoplasm to be magnetized to you. I’m sure they’re having a little feast themselves!”

It did not lighten his mood. Danny felt genuinely guilty. Even if he wasn’t doing it on purpose, wasn’t he effectively manipulating these creatures into offering themselves up to be eaten? It wasn’t right, to make them feel as if they want to be ended, just because he had some sort of aura.

But the gathered Staff were still concerned, and anticipatory, and, somehow, hopeful . He couldn’t turn them down at this point. He’d just have to bite into one of the little ghosts surrounding him, just once. He’d throw up, disgusted with himself, and the Staff would realize it wasn’t better for him, and the remaining blobs would remember that they don’t want to die, and they’d flee, and everybody would just leave the subject alone . He only had to try.

(The human dread he was emitting at this point must have been feeding everyone else.)

“…Okay,” he said simply, and gently picked up a blob that had been sitting on his leg.

Before he could rethink himself again, he brought it to his lips. He opened his jaw slightly wider than a human’s would likely go and, fangs instinctually extended, bit down.

Danny was familiar with the scent of ectoplasm. Copper and citrus and battery acid and salt. But when he broke the surface of the small ghost and the viscous fluid burst into his mouth, the salty and bitter aspects were lost on his tongue, replaced by a thick sweetness and the cold tingle of energy. Where his fangs pierced an inch down into the substance of the ghost, he tasted this fulfillment in its emotional ectoplasm. He’s not sure he would have been able to taste it if he weren’t part human. Still, the feeling was something distinctly ghostly, a similar satisfaction to fulfilling an Obsession or a Purpose. It was hard to feel bad, sympathizing automatically with that simple rightness. The way the emotion pressed at his brain, the way the semisolid edges of the ghost slicked against his tongue, his own self-revulsion melted to the back of his mind. The ectoplasmic flesh met his teeth with a thick resistance, but it was nothing to break past it and open up to the deeper substance. It was vibrant, a pure cool energy that pulsed against his fangs. (His core sucked it up greedily.) His mouth met the energy with a pulsing of its own, a harmonizing signal sent from his core throughout his body like a heartbeat. It came out as a low purr that vibrated deep through the charged air around him. He couldn’t help but rush to swallow, though his body absorbed it just as easily without.

The blob ghost had been the size of his foot, and now it was part of the energy making up his own form. Compared to the power his core was passively putting out, to the amount it longed to have refilled, it wasn’t all that much. Unconsciously, his core put out an ectoenergetic signal that he was ready to feed. The blobs around him nuzzled closer yet, making themselves available. Danny could feel a few other Uncored ghosts who were drifting nearby come into the garden and join them.

He looked up from his ectoplasm-stained hands at the Keep Staff. They were looking at him, relieved, pleased (even though they just watched him tear into a living thing and then absorb it into his being like it didn’t even matter, said a part in the back of his consciousness. It was hard to focus on, though. It was coming from his brain, not his hungry core, after all). With his core this active, he could feel the presences of all the other ghosts around. The blobs flocking around him had auras that were weaker than the Cored Staff, but sturdy. There was a balance to them that signaled the ectoplasmic types they were taking in and storing. He sensed the Uncored pulling in the Ambient ectoplasm that sloughed off of him, barely connected to him anymore if not for the weight of the space surrounding him. And he could feel all of their stores of energy-dense Vital plasm.

He could also feel, just as an aspect of his being, his own energy stores. The metaphysical space in his center that his form and all his strength drew from. He could remember, abstractly, the moment he died and that reservoir came to be and was instantly flooded with energy. The way the portal had searched the air until it found his body and his little human soul and used him as a conduit, and all that electricity punched a hole between planes right where his ghost was trying to form, and something tore outward from that starting place just on top of his being, and the vacuum that formed on earth and in the Zone and everything in between pulled until the Infinite Realms rushed his body and in one instantaneous moment his forming core was flooded with enough ectoplasmic energy to become entirely corporeal (if it hadn’t, his ghost wouldn’t have manifested nearly quickly enough to keep him alive), and his being was stretched beyond its limits containing everything. For one moment, he had been filled with more energy than he had thought possible, and his ghost had formed itself to accommodate. Since then he’d felt so… empty. His body took what it could from human food and environmental energy, but it was made for more than that. He had blocked out the awareness of his reserves and gotten used to trying to power all his defenses on so little. He was always so tired.

He still felt low, running on just enough to operate something humanish. But his core had latched on to the ectoplasm provided by the blob, the kind it was designed to process, and finally felt a little relieved. Most ghosts that stayed within the Realms were almost always full. Danny wasn’t nearly there yet.

He reached down and grabbed another blob.

[mercy-burning]

Second Nature

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Spencer and Reader share some realizations after one of them has been kidnapped. Category: FLUFF + ADDITIONAL SMUT ENDING (18+) Warnings: Language, brief mentions of kidnapping and injury, bruising, sex (penetrative sex, protected sex, dirty talk, lowkey hand kink—i’m not sorry) Word Count: 6.1k

Full Request: “...Congratulations on your 1k! I have  request for your celebration, if possible. Spencer/Fem Reader. Post prison Spencer, instead of him being taken by the cult, the reader is, making hi realize that she’s Love of life and they get together. Smut,preferred, if possible. Thank you.” — @dreatine 

NOTE: I had a little conversation with @ssa-m-187 about a post which discussed that trope where Person A caresses Person B’s cheek, and then Person A leans into their touch and holds their arm to keep them there for comfort.. I mentioned that I might add it into one of my requests, and this is where it ended up! 😂❤

I also decided to add an alternate/additional smut ending in case anyone wanted only the fluff. It will be clearly marked when the smut starts if you choose not to read it!

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

***

Nothing bad ever happened to her. Spencer wished that was an exaggeration but it wasn't. In all the years he'd known Y/N, she was never kidnapped, no one she loved ever got kidnapped, and she never even got sick. Her moods were always visibly happy, no one had ever seen her with so much as a sprained ankle, and even bad hair days always seemed to escape her grasp.

So naturally, when she got taken by Ben's Believers, it came as no shock that Spencer was losing his mind.

Everyone kept telling him that they'd get her back, and that they all knew what to do, but it didn't stop the sinking feeling that weighed his heart down, far away from the surface where she was safe and waiting for him.

Guess it's safe to say, this whole situation stirred up some feelings he hadn't even known existed.

The first thing that came to his mind, aside from the initial shock of her being gone, was the first moment they met.

Y/N and Ashley Seaver had both been added to the team around the same time, and after losing Emily, the three of them had practically become inseparable. But that first meeting, the very second he laid eyes on her, it was something purely magical.

She was trying to open a jar of pickles in the break room, breathy and aggravated curses spilling from her mouth as if she were a sailor.

"Do you need any help?" Spencer asked, not intending to scare her.

But alas, she jumped, dropping the jar of pickles and causing it to shatter everywhere. "Shit!"

He offered to help clean it up, and she accepted, sighing about how everything she had was going to smell like pickles for at least a week. And once everything was picked up, she grabbed a pickle that had landed on the counter and took a bite, promptly saying, "Well, at least I got it open," with a mouth-full of pickle. "Thanks for scaring me, bud."

It was amusing to say the least.

And every time they'd gone out for food since then, Spencer made sure to order something with a pickle every time, just so he could offer it to her and hear her laugh about that day. Every time, she mirrored that moment, taking a bite and saying, "Thanks, bud."

Of course, back then he hadn't realized he did it because he liked her. He just thought it was nice to see her smile, to hear her laugh. That's what friends did, right? Made each other laugh?

That's what kept him going as they searched high and low for answers to get her back. Her laugh. It was there, replaying on a loop in his brain as if he could ever forget it.

And when he got her back, he vowed to make sure he made her laugh for the rest of time.

When they knew where to find Y/N, Spencer made it his mission to be the one who got her out of there. He wanted to be the one she saw when she was being rescued. He wanted to be the one who made sure she was finally safe again and out of harm's way.

And most importantly he wanted to tell her that he loved her. And he didn't want to spend another day without being next to her.

But first he had to get her out of there.

The second he saw her, it was like everything moved in slow motion. She was strapped to some type of mechanism that kept her hands at her sides and her head facing forward. And despite the fact that she'd never been held hostage, she looked very calm. She looked like exactly what the cult wanted her to be: a sacrifice.

It made Spencer's stomach churn. And it felt even worse when they moved in. Because everyone was getting down, and the cult leader jumped for Y/N, striking to kill.

The gunshot stunned him. He stopped in his tracks, hoping and praying that she wouldn't be hurt, and for one final time before he actually moved, he replayed her laugh in his mind. He briefly held on to the image of Y/N smiling at him without a care in the world before he inevitably saw her face to face for the first time in days, most likely without said smile.

But of course, the second it was safe and he ran to her side, she looked up at him and smiled anyway.

As Emily got the final restraints off of her, Spencer took a huge sigh of relief and welcomed Y/N into his embrace.

"Hey, bud," she breathed into his neck, letting him squeeze her tightly. He could practically feel her smile burning into his skin, tattooing itself there for all the world to see, and he squeezed her tighter, thinking of how he wouldn't have it any other way.

They clung to one another the whole plane ride home, curled up into each other and falling asleep after all the stress they'd been under. And it was no surprise to anyone that they even held hands while they did.

Y/N dreamt of him the entire time.

Specifically, she was remembering the day she almost quit. It would have surprised anyone to know she'd felt that way considering she never let her bad days show. But in those particular few months, she had really missed her family—and Ashley,—the cases were getting more and more stressful, and it all seemed to really take a toll on her emotionally.

But that one fateful day, she walked into the round table room, expecting to find no one since she always showed up early, and instead she found Spencer with a large wicker basket.

"What are you doing here so early?" Y/N asked, raising an eyebrow.

He smiled shyly. "Oh, um... I know your birthday was last week, and I feel bad I missed it since I was visiting my mom, so... I wanted to celebrate with you when we had a little bit of time."

He handed her the basket, and she marveled at all its contents, ranging from a few of her favorite books in different copies she hadn't owned, an array of her favorite candies, and most exciting, a jar of pickles.

"Oh, before you break the jar, I have something else for you," he said with a small laugh, pulling something out of his jacket pocket. "I've read that these are good for helping you open jars, and I even got myself one because we all know you're way stronger than me, so if you can't open a jar of pickles, I probably couldn't either..."

She would never know this, but in that moment he was kicking himself for being so awkward, even though the two of them had been friends for years. And he'd never know, but she hadn't even recognized it as awkward. She was incredibly thankful and endeared by his thinking of her, and it was the one thing that made her realize she could never quit her job.

She loved him too much too leave.

So she didn't. That morning she'd been planning on telling everyone her plans to find another job somewhere else, maybe closer to her family, and that night she walked out of the office feeling loved and thankful for her friends, and one friend in particular.

Currently, said friend was sitting quietly in the parking lot of her apartment while she dug up the courage to ask him inside for the night. Her plans consisted of sleeping in for as long as she needed thanks to a well-deserved few days off of work, and though Spencer would most likely return earlier, she desperately hoped she could convince him to stay.

It was quiet for a while and the lights in the car had long since turned off, leaving them in darkness as well as silence. Despite that fact, it wasn't eerie in the slightest... It was comfortable.

Even more so when Y/N reached over and grabbed his hand.

And then she spoke.

"Can... Can you stay? I'm fine, I promise, I just... I could really use some company, you know?"

"Of course," he answered almost too quickly. It made her laugh, and though it was small, he felt a weight lift off his chest at the sound.

The two of them walked up to her apartment in more of that comfortable, dark silence. The only light source to be found was within the dim lights of the hallway, though they'd made the walk so many times it was like second nature.

That familiarity followed them through her doorway, Y/N taking off her jacket and instinctively handing it over with her to-go bag, where Spencer's arms were already outstretched. He took them and removed his shoes, then transported their belongings to the chair in the corner of her living room, maybe five or six steps ahead from the entryway.

Y/N took a large breath and smiled as she flipped on the lights.

Spencer noticed, turning to her with a smile of his own. "Good to be home?"

"Mhm," she responded with a nod. "But you know what would make it even better?"

The knowing smile they shared brought warmth to her chest as he made his way to the kitchen, saying, "Peppermint hot chocolate, coming right up."

As her best friend made noise in the kitchen, Y/N padded over to her couch, flipping on the table lamp next to it and sitting down with an over-exaggerated humph. Her legs curled off to the side as she leaned against the armrest, taking a deep breath and breathing in the warm comfort of home, only amplified a little while later by the aroma of soft peppermint.

She could hear Spencer humming quietly to himself in the kitchen, the sound bringing a smile to her face. He always absentmindedly hummed her favorite song when he was making them food or something to drink, or even when they were just hanging out together in comfortable silence. She wondered often if he ever sang it to himself when he was alone.

And she was going to ask, but before she got the chance, he came up behind her with two mugs of hot chocolate. She took hers gladly with a smile that perfectly matched the warmth of the mug. And while she took the first sip as he walked around the couch and took his regular spot on the cushion next to hers, that warmth spread to her chest. She sunk into the couch as her eyes fluttered closed.

Beside her she could hear Spencer laugh. "That good, huh?"

"You're an expert hot chocolate maker, don't let anyone tell you any different."

Another laugh came from him, and the sound bought warmth to other places.

They sipped their hot chocolate together, once again basked in silence that was only disrupted by the distinct ticking of Y/N's cuckoo clock, a Christmas gift from Spencer one year after she'd mentioned how much she was oddly fascinated by them. It sat on the wall across from them, next to the TV and right above a DVD rack with her favorite movies. She stared at the clock fondly as she drank her way through the hot chocolate, and Spencer did the same.

Eventually they were out, and once their mugs were placed on either side table, they found themselves turning to each other with more of that second nature pulling them together like the moon pulling the ocean. Once their knees touched it was like the ocean dragged them under, only rather than suffocating, they found themselves breathing easier, like they were finally at peace.

The clock rung out, and only after it finished echoing did Spencer initiate conversation. He examined the bruise right under her eye, and once again the gravitational pull was too much, his hand reaching out to touch it with curiosity as well as concern. "Are you feeling alright? Do you need some ice or anything?" he asked softly.

Y/N felt her heart stutter at the featherlight touch of his fingertips, and despite herself, she blushed. "No, I'm okay. Better now that I'm home. With you."

His eyes flicked up to meet hers at her words, and the softness and genuine relief he found in them made him melt.

He moved to take his hand away, but Y/N reached up and gently grabbed his wrist, bringing it back to her face pacing his palm firmly against the whole surface of her cheek. He watched lovingly as she closed her eyes and leaned into his hand further, bringing her hand to wrap around his forearm and hold him there. And in that moment, he had to wonder if she could hear the loud, intense beating of his heart as it drowned out the clock's ticking.

"I... I was so scared," Y/N whispered, keeping her eyes closed. "I mean... In the back of my mind I knew you guys would come for me, but... That was... my first time ever being in a hostage situation by myself, let alone at all, and I..." She paused, stumbling on her words before exhaling a breathy laugh. "Those people were creepy."

Spencer laughed with her, his hand still resting on her face. When she finally did open her eyes again, she looked up at him through her eyelashes, and in that moment she looked so soft and vulnerable that he couldn't help but finally tell the truth.

In a whisper so soft she almost didn't hear it, he confessed, "I was so afraid that I lost you..."

"Yeah, but... You found me," she returned with a smile as she nuzzled into his hand further. "You always do."

Something in the way she said it made him bolder, and he realized then that that's what she always did.

She strengthened him, made him more bold and determined... And she gave him something to hold onto when he was lost. When things felt impossible, Y/N always said the one thing that put him back together and made him feel whole again, whether it was a few sentences, or in this case three little words: "You always do."

Completing him was her second nature, something he wasn't even sure she was aware of.

But now that he knew, he had to tell her.

"Y/n..." Spencer traced his thumb along the underside of her bottom lip, and he could have swore he felt her sigh out. He stayed paused, reveling in the way he seemed to have an effect on her, his thumb longing to slide further and trace her entire mouth.

Nevertheless, he continued. "You are... Everything to me. And I don't tell you very often how much your friendship means to me, but I... I can't keep going forward without you knowing just how much I care about you. Really, it..." He huffed a laugh, hoping he wasn't making an utter fool of himself and that she wouldn't push him away at this confession that was dying to escape. "It's embarrassing how much I love you."

He couldn't tell if it was exhaustion taking hold of him, or the relief he felt at finally getting that off his chest, but he held his breath as he studied her eyes, which were glassy like she was on the verge of tears. Her grip around his forearm tightened and she turned, kissing the inside of his palm and keeping her lips pressed there for what felt like forever, until he started to feel his skin go numb. Realistically he knew it was only a trick on the brain, how such a simple affectionate gesture like that had the most heart-swelling and mind-numbing effects on him because of how much he loved her.

But damn it, he didn't care.

She murmured his name into his palm, and her eyes flicked up to meet his again. That's when he noticed a tear fall from her eye and down her cheek, right into the side of his thumb.

Finally, she responded, "I love you, too, Spencer. I... I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to tell you, but... After what just happened, I don't know if I could ever spend another day without loving you."

His heart absolutely burst at the seams, warmer than before, and most certainly not from the hot chocolate. That warmth only spread, turning into a raging wildfire when she let go of his hand and moved forward, practically tackling him and wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging him and pressing her face to the crook of his neck. His arms wrapped around her back, hugging her close as she straddled him and continued to nuzzle into his skin, his presence...

They held each other like that for a good minute before Y/N finally gained the courage to pull back and look into his eyes. They were just as glassy as hers, just as filled with love and comfort and home as she could ever have dreamed. Her hands slid down to rest on his shoulders for a moment before one of them cradled his face.

And then she kissed him.

She knew he loved her, he told her as much, but in case this was already going too far, Y/N kept it light and hesitant, desperately hoping it wouldn't make things weird.

But of course, there was nothing to worry about. And Spencer showed her that as his lips pressed deeper into hers, his hands on her back pushing her closer to him and seeking as much contact as possible.

She brought both of her hands to gently run through his hair, and at the sigh he let out against her mouth, Y/N tugged harder, pulling herself up so she could get into a better, more comfortable position on his lap.

They shared peppermint hot chocolate kisses until the clock rung out again, both of them pulling away with a little surprise.

"Has it really been an hour since it last went off?" Y/N mused in a whisper, taking in the swollen state of Spencer's mouth. The sight sent a course of butterflies through her stomach.

"I guess it has... It's um... It's late, maybe we should get some sleep."

"Only if you come with me," Y/N offered, running her fingers through his hair once more.

Spencer nodded with a small smile, his thumb tracing the bottom of her chin. "Of course."

They pulled themselves off the couch and, hand-in-hand, navigated their way to her bedroom. And even though they'd never actually done it before, sleeping in her bedroom together, the whole journey was so familiar it was like they'd done it a million times over.

SMUT ENDING BELOW

Y/N didn't know what time it was, only that the sun was brightly peeking through her sheer curtains, basking her bedroom in a warm glow that made it almost impossible to be comfortable under the covers. When she moved to take them off of her, she felt a hand snake around her waist, pressing firmly against her lower stomach and holding her in place.

"Are you awake?" she asked aloud to the air, softly in case Spencer was, in fact, still asleep.

"Mhm," he mumbled behind her, his breath softly fanning out across her shoulder. "Have been for about an hour."

"You could have woke me up," she said, turning around to face him. His hand lifted and then settled on her shoulder when she was in position.

"You deserved the rest," is all he offered in explanation as his hand gently brushed the hair from her shoulder. It tickled as it fell behind her, dropping off her body and across the back of her neck. Spencer trailed his fingers lightly up her neck until they reached her ear, and then he trailed them back down and over the curve of her shoulder, and then down her arm. He continued this and smiled as he took notice of the goosebumps that formed all over her skin. The thin tank top she'd changed into before bed left most of her exposed, each little freckle and hair that adorned her skin on display in the warm sunlight.

Meanwhile she smiled, heat slowly rising to her cheeks as she recalled their kisses on the couch. Needless to say, her dreams that night were rather scandalous, something she wasn't unfamiliar with, though given these new circumstances she was more than a little hot right now.

Spencer noticed, his hand halting its movement on her skin and resting itself on her waist over the blanket. "You're thinking about it, too? Last night?"

Y/N looked him in the eye and swore she saw them dilate when she responded. "Yeah. Among other things..."

"What... kind of other things?"

She would have told him, but since it was obvious they were both feeling the heat she bit her lip instead, a teasing look in her eye. "You're a smart man. You tell me."

"What if I... show you instead?" he whispered, his voice broken and obviously a little shocked that this was finally going to happen.

"Take it away, Doc."

His first kiss was sweet, reminiscent of the first one they shared on the couch, and his second was a little deeper. Y/N gave her stamp of approval by sighing, bringing a hand up to play with his hair again, and it was the trigger that shot him forward, his lips working hers with more passionate, methodical precision. Meanwhile his hand dipped under the covers and pressed firmly at her back, slipping under her shirt and bringing her closer.

She wrapped her leg over his waist, pulling herself forward to get as much contact as she could while he swiped over her bottom lip with his tongue. The small whimper she let out at his kisses made his hips buck forward involuntarily, to which Y/N clenched her leg tighter around his waist and tugged a little harder at his hair.

He tipped them over then, rolling so that he was hovering over her while their kisses only grew needier. His hand slipped under her shirt, feeling the expanse of her stomach and her sides. The low hum that came from her throat at his touches drove him half wild, so he boldened them, slowly sliding up and up until he reached her bare breasts. Her legs came out immediately and hooked themselves around the back of his thighs as she whined at his touch.

With curious kneads of her chest and even more exploratory kisses that were reciprocated with an equal hunger and passion, it didn't take long for Spencer to feel his insides churn with a desire that could possibly never be satiated. Even if Y/N was the one who kept him whole, he also knew she would be the one to completely wreck him to pieces. He'd rarely ever felt this type of desire before, especially not towards someone who took up every crack and crevice of his mind at any given moment. And now that he had it, he never wanted to let it go. She was going to utterly ruin him, and he'd never been more welcoming to that type of damnation—the type that was also his salvation.

Because she was everything all at once, devastatingly beautiful in every imaginable way.

Her hands tugged at his tee shirt, punctuating her urgency with a needy little whine into his mouth. He pulled back then, tugging off his shirt at the expense of taking his hands away from her. But from his higher position now, he took her in in all her wild glory, lips swollen and a little red, hair splayed out across the pillows, and her breathing visibly heavy. Even with the bruise under her eyes, she was the most breathtaking person he'd ever seen. She marveled up at him, willing her gaze to trail down his chest and stomach, her bottom lip tucking itself gently between her teeth as she stared at where his sweatpants hung low on his hips.

Y/N reached out and grazed her middle finger across the waistband of his pants, gently feeling the fabric and his skin at the same time. He was still, continuing to watch her explore his body the way he'd done hers, always amazed at the curious look in her eye— the one that was now swimming in a pool of lust. Her hand trailed upwards, feeling the soft planes of his torso until she couldn't reach any higher.

"Having fun?" Spencer mused with a smile as she rested both her hands on either side of his waist.

She sat up then, pressing a kiss to his neck while her hands travelled south, under the waistband of his pants. He sucked in a breath as she palmed him through his underwear, gently nipping his shoulder before she answered. "Oh, I'm having so much fun."

He was going to say something, but words escaped him as she sat up on her knees and continued tracing the outline of his dick through his underwear. He was painfully hard in an instant, a fact at which Y/N gave a low, amused laugh. Once she found the underside of his tip, she gently rubbed it through the fabric with her thumb, and the broken whine that he let out delighted her in every way. Her tongue traced his collarbone and the contours of his shoulders and neck until she reached his jawline. She licked him there too, humming as her thumb worked faster at his dick.

"Mmm, I've wanted this for so long," she told him softly, bringing her lips up to his ear. "Do you know how many times I've thought about us? Dreamed about us?"

"Not as many as me, probably," he choked out with a small laugh, audibly trying to keep it together as his stomach burned with every languid stroke of her thumb over his most sensitive point.

Y/N returned his laugh and sensually kissed his jaw before saying, "I doubt that." Then she dragged her mouth up to his lips and brought her hand out of his pants so she could thread all her fingers through his hair. Though they were kneeling, he was still taller than her, so his hard erection pressed firmly against her stomach as he brought her closer, gripping her hips and melting into her.

When his right hand slipped into her sleep shorts, she whined out and pressed herself harder against him, reveling in the way the heat from his hand practically burned into her ass. He kneaded her there as well, groaning into her mouth when she tugged on his hair and turned her head to deepen their kiss.

It was obvious that she was trying to feel some type of friction— her knees were willing her to get up higher, to feel him hard against her, but alas she wasn't able to reach. She showed her frustration by whining into his mouth and trying to pull herself up, the pressure of her arms around his neck getting stronger with every passing second.

"Spencer pulled away laughing a little, removing his hand from her shorts and bringing it to the front, dragging along the inside of her thigh. "Is there something you want from me, pretty girl?"

The nickname sent a fire through her veins that set off every smoke detector in her brain, the alarm coming out in the form of a whimper. "I want to feel you inside me," she whispered, nuzzling her nose to his and reaching down to guide his hand farther up. When his middle finger breached the fabric of her shorts, she whimpered again, willing herself closer to him. "Please, Spencer."

He hummed lowly, drawing circles into her skin. "Are you prepared? Like, do you... have condoms or anything, do we need one?"

"I have some in my top drawer if you want me to get it," she said quickly with a nod.

He laughed a little, amused at her eagerness, before pulling away from her and helping her off the bed. Once she was feet-first on the ground, she strode over to the dresser where she opened a small drawer on the top left and rummaged through it. Meanwhile Spencer followed her and came up behind her, pressing his front to her backside and making her tense. He brushed her hair aside and brought his lips to her neck, his hands resting at her waist.

She slowly rolled her hips against him, sighing out when his hands gripped her tighter. One of them slipped down into her shorts again, this time coming around front and resting over her clothed pussy. His fingers explored her like hers had explored him, teasing her in the same way that made her want to burst into flames.

"So wet already, pretty girl..." he mused, sighing and attacking her neck with more kisses. "I bet I'll be able to just slide right in..."

She outwardly moaned this time, clutching a condom in her hand and then slamming the drawer shut. "Alright then, Mr. PhD, why don't you put that theory to the test?"

He loved how eager she was, and a little impatient. Something told him that if he teased her enough, she might have just begged him for anything. But he didn't want to do that right now. No, right now he was planning on showing the love of his life just how much she meant to him. He was going to give her everything he had, and then some.

So he turned her around and kissed her, walking them backwards until his legs hit the foot of the bed. He almost went down, but before he could, he turned them around again. Y/N's body hit the bed, her legs immediately opening for him to stand between them. Rather than leaning down to kiss her again though, Spencer ran his hands tugged lightly at her shorts, to which Y/N gladly lifted her hips and allowed him to pull them off. Her underwear weren't too far behind, and then she lifted her shirt over her head, tossing it aside and leaning back on her elbows.

Seeing her fully bare like this was enough to drive him mad, but he held on, spreading her knees apart and sliding his hands along the insides of her thighs. "Y/N, you're perfect..." As he marveled at her and showered her with love and praise, he slid his hands further and further up her body until they reached her arms.

She helped him remove his pants and underwear, and once they were off, Y/N tore open the condom and handed it to him. He rolled it on and then leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead. Then her temple, then her cheek... Then he pressed the softest kiss to her lips and looked her in the eyes. "You really want to?"

She smiled at him and nodded, bringing one of his hands to her entrance and pressing his fingers to the wetness that pooled there. "You feel how bad I want it?"

He groaned and kissed her then, circling his middle finger over her clit and making her cry out against him. After a few more seconds of this, Spencer positioned them at the head of the bed and angled his hips forward, the head of his dick coming in contact with her pussy.

He slid in slowly, reveling in every pure, blissful second that went by as he gradually became completely enveloped in her. Once he was buried to the hilt, Y/N threw her head back and bit her lip, her hands reaching out to play with his hair again. He ground himself into her for a few seconds before pulling back and then starting a slow, steady rhythm.

"God, Y/N, you feel so good... So... perfect for me."

"Funny, I was just going to say the same thing about you," she breathed. Her eyes trained themselves on his, and though there was a lot of love there, she saw something else that she recognized, something hesitant. It was close to the same look he gave her last night, after she'd explained to him that she was fine after he examined her injury.

He was going easy on her. But she wanted more.

Y/N reached up to tug his hair gently, biting her lip and batting her eyes. "I'm not made of glass you know... You can fuck me harder if you want to."

Everything from the look on her face to the way she said it to the way she clenched around him as she did made him half feral. He smirked at her without thinking, a natural reaction to her challenge. "Oh, you like it a little rough, huh?"

She smirked back at him and nodded, tugging his hair harder. "Uh huh."

Though he started fucking into her harder, his pace remained slow,  accentuating each rough thrust with a huff through his nose. Y/N's mouth opened involuntarily, the power of his movements rendering her almost speechless. Eventually though, she let out one large moan as her fingers even further tightened their grip in Spencer's hair.

Taking note of her reactions, he felt pleased with himself. "You like that, don't you, pretty girl? You like it hard and deep..."

Her hands dropped from his head and rested at the sheets, gripping them instead as he worked his hips a little faster. "Y—yes, baby, I fucking love how hard you fuck me."

The words tumbled out of their mouths so easily, each syllable spoken with the right amount of lust and truth, it was like their conversation was a dance. Their bodies and their words melded together in a perfect number that brought them further towards the climax.

But, as every dance does, their needed a little flourish.

Spencer reached out and caressed her cheek again, his thumb going straight to her lips. Y/N opened her mouth and sucked it in, swirling her tongue around it and groaning at the way he bit his lip when she did so.

"Fuck, pretty girl, you're gonna ruin me if you keep that up."

She smiled at his words, which allowed him to press his thumb flat down onto her tongue. Her mouth remained open as he held it there, her pants and moans coming out clear as day. And as if that wasn't hot enough, she batted her eyelashes up at him, and he fucked her even faster, both of them starting to feel the signs of impending orgasm.

He could have kept his thumb in her mouth forever, but to aid her in pleasure, he removed it, dragging it down her chin before bringing it to her clit and rubbing in tight circles.

"Fuck, Spence, that's it," Y/N moaned, looking down between their bodies and almost losing it at the sight that beheld her. "Don't stop, don't fucking stop!"

He leaned forward to kiss her then, the new angle finally bringing her over the edge. She cried out into his mouth as it explored her own, soaking up all the sounds she made and using them to fuel his own release.

They came together, and it felt  like years of tension and anticipation and love finally culminated into one giant explosion that enveloped them whole. It felt like, for a moment, nothing else in the world existed, only Spencer, Y/N, and their palpable connection that felt very much like a home in and of itself.

Even as they came down, their breathing slowing down and their touches becoming gentler, that explosion quieted right alongside them, an echo of love and warmth lingering in its wake.

Spencer pulled out and laid beside her, reaching out and gently touching the bruise under her eye. "You okay?"

She couldn't help but laugh. "Yes. I'm more than okay... I'm perfect."

He smiled at her, pure, true comfort settling in his bones. It was a rare feeling, but he was glad that it came with her presence. "Me, too. And I... I meant what I said last night, Y/N, I... I love you. More than words could accurately describe."

Her heart swelled at his words. "I love you, too, bud. More than anything in the world."

He contemplated for a minute, a smile forming as he said his next words. "More than pickles?"

Y/N threw her head back in a boisterous laugh that made Spencer's heart beat a little faster, before playfully hitting his harm and snuggling up next to him. "Yes, definitely more than pickles."

"Good. That would have been embarrassing."

"I don't love you more than peppermint hot chocolate, though. Or that cuckoo clock."

Spencer pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Yeah, but I got you those things, so technically that means you have to love me at least as much as them..."

"Okay. That's fair, I'll give you that one."

With an over-exaggerated, "Phew," Spencer smiled and pulled her closer, the warm sunlight from the windows giving him the most clear view of their legs tangled together over her lavender-colored comforter. It was so domestic, so perfect and loving and real that he never wanted to forget it.

He was thankful that he never would.

***

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[wonlouvre]

Yayyy i absolutely love your writing!!

I would like to request a Hoshi × gn!idol! Reader angst+fluff imagine where Soonyoung cheers/takes care of his reserved s/o who has been having a hard time and has opened up to him about it for the first time. S/o is someone who can't say no easily and because of that their workload had increased a lot. But in the end they can't hold themselves any longer and breaks down.

strength | k. sy.

pairing: hoshi x gn!idol reader genre: fluff, angst, then fluff again warnings: mentions of anxiety, physical and mental tiredness (please tell me if i missed anything!) word count: 1.8k+ (i honestly don’t even know anymore)

💌: thank you very much for requesting! i made some tweaks here and there and i hope you still like it! thank you for loving my writing as well :’( it really means a lot that <3 i hope you like this!

Soonyoung was aware that you’d be coming from Japan for your collaborative magazine photoshoot. He just didn’t know that you’d be going straight from the airport at four o’clock in the morning. 

He thought he read your message wrong saying that you’re on your way to the assigned shooting location. As far as he’s concerned, the call time was at seven a.m. He had to do a double take while squinting his eyes over the brightness of his phone but when he saw another bubble pop out saying you’re already there, he immediately jumped off his bed to shower. 

He misses you. You’ve been going in and out of the country because of promotions and the chances of getting to see you has been slim to none. If he ever meets with you, it will be short because either one of you has to go back to work or has to go back to bed because there is a flight to catch the next day. It’s obviously tough. But your relationship perseveres. 

Soonyoung will do everything to make it work and you are together with him on that. So if it means he has to shower half-asleep and wear his boxers backwards just to see you, he’d never mind.

Your Japanese album tour started and ended successfully but work didn’t stop from there. You were just getting started. Before leaving the said country, you were fully booked for live television performances, interviews, variety shows and the like. It was exhausting but, it was an opportunity that you couldn’t miss out on for the world even if you wanted to. 

Soonyoung is proud of you and he will always be. Heart eyes were formed whenever he got the chance to watch your performances whether it be from a paid livestream event or from kind fans sharing and uploading their videos or photos on Twitter or Instagram. He’s even more in love when it’s in person and he gets to watch your performance plus enjoy it with your never failing supportive fans. 

However, Soonyoung is also worried because he knows you’re also tired. He knows how fulfilling it is to do what you love the most, but he’s no stranger to the physically and mentally tiring part of it. He wasn’t even surprised to catch you asleep on the couch when he arrived at your dressing room. 

Your manager’s eyes brightened when they saw him, quickly standing up from the chair to give him a hug. 

“They told me they just need a fifteen minute nap,” they whisper against Soonyoung’s shoulder as he hugs them back. “But we both know they need more than that.”

Soonyoung sadly smiles while his eyes never leave your curled form. He mutters a simple “I’ll take it from here” while your manager excuses themself to buy everyone breakfast. 

It’s a challenge to take you into his arms without disturbing your sleep because he doesn’t want that from happening. He just wants to hold you for the remaining time without interruption from other people. He just wants to hold you and share this moment of calm before the lights and camera get into action later. 

Soonyoung’s thankful you didn't, although he still felt your lips lightly ghost against his jaw, telling him that you know that he’s here. He brings your legs over his lap while he cradles your head close to his neck. He wishes to lay down, but the couch is too cramped for two bodies so he’d have to settle with this position. He guesses it’s fine with how you deeply inhale his scent and snuggle closer and closer, locking your arms around his waist with no intentions of letting go. 

Just like you, he falls asleep, completely comfortable and content in finally having you in his arms again. 

Your tangled bodies were shaken to wake up at least an hour later. Both of your managers have food in their hand, ready to energize the two of you up before moving forward with the hair and makeup. The agenda for today includes a photoshoot with several changes of outfit, a short shoot for an audio video presentation and lastly an interview or question and answer of some sort. 

Your relationship has been publicly known for two years already. Some fans have been supportive while some have been angry. It’s nothing new and it’s nothing the two of you could care about at this point. 

Countless projects have been offered to the two of you during the course of those two years whether it be a song or dance performance, a guesting on a famous variety show and even a three second cameo appearance on a drama. They’re all lovely offers and you would love to participate, but the two of you made a decision to keep the relationship private. Sure, you’ll accept it from time to time. But, it’s still very limited to one to two songs to sing or dance to together and some magazine photoshoots. Just like now. 

By far, this is the third time the two of you would be featured on a magazine cover. Your respective publicists already know how to communicate to the publishing company your terms and conditions. Questions about your relationship are allowed, but to a certain number only. The rest will be about what’s mostly seen by fans and the rest of the public which is automatically your music. 

The concept is not necessarily daringly romantic. After all, what you’re trying to promote here is the clothes. But your chemistry is maintained with a few fleeting touches here and there. In one shot, you two were holding hands and the other has his arm is loosely wrapped around your neck. 

You and Soonyoung are careful to not get lost in each other’s eyes during the short breaks in between because the cameras were still rolling. Although, his soft touches on your hand and arm still lingered. On the other hand, you help him fix his hair whenever he gets excited and jumps from time to time. You could kiss him right now, but again, you want to be careful. 

The shoot concluded faster than you thought and the next thing you know, the two of you are sitting side by side with a camera blinking red in front, ready to record the interview included in the contract. 

The interview consisted of questions that’s nothing out of the ordinary. The magazine asked about your favorite go-to styles lately, your look inspirations, a little bit of this or that, your recent music releases or favorite music releases at the moment and of course something about your relationship that you're comfortable and willing enough to share. 

But one particular question caught you off guard that you had to hold your tears and brave through the rest of the interview without showing any signs that you’re about to cry.

“How have you guys been lately, individually?”

“I’ve been great,” you quickly answer with a smile that didn’t even reach your eyes. The camera may not have noticed, but Soonyoung did. It took a lot of patience and restraint for your boyfriend to stop himself from cutting the interviewer off to ask you again how you really have been. 

Everything that was in store for the two of you today ends and when the cameras are gone, you and Soonyoung hand in hand walk back to your dressing room. It’s a relief that this is the last project for the day and you’re glad you could get some rest for the coming week.

Your body slumps on the couch while the staff pack up. You puff out a breath before closing your eyes. You wish you could yell out how tired you are lately. Work piled up over the course of six months and you couldn’t have at least two days away from the makeup and flashing lights. 

Soonyoung bites his lower lip as he settles beside you. He’s contemplating whether he should ask you now or later because he doesn’t want you to grow conscious and shut yourself away. He knows how brave and strong you are. But he also wants you to know that you can trust him and that if you ever need a shoulder to cry or at least lean on, his are more than welcoming. 

“You okay, babe?” He asks in the quiet as the staff leaves one by one. “Anything bothering you?”

You surprise him by sitting up straight and opening your eyes, welling with tears. That makes him shoot up and instantly hug you close. “Oh baby.”

You finally cry and set free the tears that you’ve been locking deep within you. You thought you could brave through this pain and anxiety without having the need to shed any vulnerability. You thought this shall pass soon. You thought you could do this. 

But here you are now letting go with sniffles and shaking shoulders as Soonyoung gently caresses the top of your head. 

He hates to see you cry. But it’s only right to let you. 

“I just feel like I’m going to miss out on everything if I turn down any project offered to me.”

Soonyoung pouts when he hears what’s been bothering you. It took a while for you to calm down and finally talk, but it’s okay. He doesn’t mind. He will never mind. 

“I understand, honey,” he assures you and wipes your tear stained cheek. “And there’s nothing wrong with feeling that way.”

Your lips shake again and crying makes you want to hide. Without hesitation, you crawl to your boyfriend’s lap and wrap your arms around his shoulder. Soonyoung doesn’t complain and just keeps you close, protective arms around your waist.

The dressing room is empty except for the two of you. The staff got the message once Soonyoung pleaded with them through his eyes to give you some time with him since you’re already done for the day.

“It’s also okay to work and work,” he continues, soothing hands rubbing against your back. “But at some point, it’s also okay to take a break for them.”

You pull away and rest your hands on his neck. “Even though I’m going to miss out?”

Soonyoung nods and leans his forehead against yours. “Yes and there’s also nothing wrong with that.”

“I seriously want to go on a trip with my family,” you say and sigh. “And of course, with you too.”

Soonyoung can’t help but giggle. “I’d love to. How about next month? Let’s go somewhere with your family or friends. Where do you want to go? What do you want to do?”

Your boyfriend’s enthusiasm puts a smile on your face and this time, the smile reaches your eyes. “Let’s go somewhere quiet first. I want to take a long nap before we proceed to do anything that needs an awake body.”

“You got it, babe,” Soonyoung promises and kisses your lips.