#in the sense that they’re both Dramatic AND revenge-motivated

[brittlebutch]

think it’s kind of funny how hard s12 tried to go in on the Wash-Locus Soldier parallel when i think you’d be hard pressed to find a period of wash’s career where he Ever unquestioningly followed orders

Like, even in his run of the mill military career he got court martialed for wounding/killing his CO who ordered his squad into what would have been a suicide mission. When Price interviews him about joining freelancer Wash undoubtedly Understands that he’s being blackmailed even as he’s grateful for the intervention; he doesn’t ever seem to question the work he’s doing there But he also doesn’t seem to have any qualms with the Years he spent working as a Recovery agent with the Explicit intention of ratting them out and fucking them over the moment he got the evidence he needed. he wasn’t under orders when he went after epsilon; it was his idea, and His bargaining chip And he was totally willing to spit in the face of it when he planned on handing over the busted storage unit. fuck even when Carolina comes back he listens to her until he decides he doesn’t want to anymore and then he pulls a gun on her and bails. Wash literally Could Not give a shit about orders lmao, he’s just Out There

[pepirfecin]

A rant about Shadow’s trauma

I am sick of hearing about Maria. Okay okay, bold statement and I'm being dramatic for the sake of being dramatic, but let me explain.

 No matter how you portray Shadow, Maria will most likely be mentioned, since it’s an important part of his character, motivations etc. I think we should pay more attention to the circumstances of his grief though; the real tragedy isn’t the loss itself, it runs deeper than that (I'm not saying anything new here). Let me break it down, the way I see it.

1.) Identity loss: When someone close to you dies a part of yourself dies with them. With your parents’ death you cease to be someone’s child forever. In Shadows case it’s even more extreme: not only did he loose Maria, he also lost his purpose by failing to do the one thing he was made to do. Imagine, your entire life stripped away from you in a matter of seconds, leaving you with absolutely no point to even exist. With his now non-existent purpose and identity as a whole he became a blank slate for someone else's revenge, a vessel powered by sorrow. Most likely only Maria saw her as a person on the ARK, so what is he with that one singular column gone? A weapon, a tool of destruction, the Ultimate Lifeforms made to destroy the planet. 

2.) Closure: When your abuser(s) die it’s a strange feeling. The person/people who made you miserable are finally gone, but what’s left is just emptiness. They made you the way you are, and now they’re gone, but you're still the same. He didn’t get revenge on any of those people. The fantasy of standing up against them verbally or physically (taking out years of abuse is now unreachable. So is the fantasy of it ever getting better. Now you can’t hope that someday they’ll do better. They now never will. Shadow’s left without any kind of closure in relation to his trauma he received on the ARK.

3.) Time to process: Presumably he was around 15-17 like the rest of the Sonic cast at the time of the incident. Almost immediately after seeing the most important person in his life die, he was put into stasis for 50 years. In both SA2 and ShtH 05 he woke up in a completely unfamiliar world with turbid memories, grief still fresh and pervasive. In the midst of world ending level threats constantly looming overhead in almost all games I don’t think he sat down with a psychologist and ever processed what happened. (If you age him up or make any kind of AU where he has time to deal with all this then let him process his trauma. Time heals all wounds pls let the guy leave some of his baggage behind.)

4.) Help: Childhood emotional neglect and other shit make it impossible for him to even reach out for help. Learned behaviour that emotions are not okay (to feel or show), difficulty connecting with peers, hard time asking for help, lashing out instead ect etc.

+This is why I think SA2 was a good, complete arc for him. He came to the planet with revenge and destruction in mind, a weapon that Gerald forged motivated by the immense sense of anguish. He died finally getting closure: He fulfilled his real purpose, his identity restored in some way. I like to think that he died peacefully partly because he knew his promise to Maria would continue to be fulfilled by Sonic. In the English version during the Final Hazard fight he even gave up the title he so desperately clings to in other games ‘The Ultimate Lifeform’. Unlike in other games here he doesn’t need that title and identity, it is no longer the only piece of himself that he has left, so he “offers” it for the person who he sees fit as an extension of his legacy. ("Sonic, I think I've discovered what the Ultimate Life Form is, it might be you!")

Okay all this ended up being a whole lot less cohesive than I intended and I just want to say I have more thoughts on this but I'm stupid dummy dumb dumb and can’t put it into words. (Analysing media is all fun and games until I have to explain then suddenly brain go mush.) This post is a pretty personal analysis, most of it isn’t factual in any way, I just want to provoke thoughts in others about this subject, since I often see his grief be reduced to “Maria is dead Shadow is big sad about it :(” which is fine, but there’s so much to explore. 

If you have any opinions on this, contradictory or other don’t be shy talk. I want. to hear everything. 

[reivun]

the following is both a tag drop as well as a verse explanation, which i will put under the cut.

i. 🕊: v: goddammit — i was worth something / childhood spanning from his childhood to young adulthood, stopping only when his wife, leona floros-dreyar dies. he is an s-class mage of fairy tail, somewhat withdrawn even then, but still helpful and hopeful. always happy to help out fellow guildmates and share his research. he’s just a little awkward! that’s all.

ii. 🕊: v: i don’t know what to do without you / lacrima research this is from the moment his wife dies to the moment he is excommunicated from fairy tail. he is desperately researching ways to find a way to cure his sickly son, laxus and is going everywhere for it. with his mother as a lacrima expert, it doesn’t take long for him to turn to the lucrative lacrima and how it could interact within one’s own magic. could this be it?

iii. 🕊: v: master of my own fate / pre canon leading up from his excommunication to founding raven tail and up until the summer of x784. he was feeling very bitter, very angry and the most unhinged perhaps in this time. he does calm the closer we get to x784 mainly for zilla. but. he is still unhinged and likes to play it up even more, the more his own father spreads bad rhetoric about him.

iv. 🕊: v: show them all you’re not the ordinary type / pre tenrou this is for the canon events that take place form lucy joining fairy tail all the way to tenrou. hilariously, it’s only three months of time in which he basically fucks with gajeel and makarov a bit.

v. 🕊: v: in the arms of restless anger / timeskip the 7 year timeksip was an interesting time. the more the core members of fairy tail aren’t found, the more upsetting it truly is. not only is makarov “dead” and he had nothing to do with it….but…laxus is gone.

vi. 🕊: v: in my toxic era / gmg the gmg arc. not much canon divergence, EXCEPT, for ivan’s motives. of course he was going to come and ensure humiliation and expose makarov as the pos he is! by any means necessary. unfortunate he has to battle his own son, but yknow, his nose gets broken again. and raven tail is banned from any future games. which is fine with ivan, he has some house cleaning to do.

vii. 🕊: v: the unmaker of my own catastrophe / post gmg following the grand magic games, ivan begins to clean house at raven tail. if the games aren’t going to work, then raven tail is going to become one of the better guilds of fiore, then. fine! ivan’s hand is being forced. he does this dramatically by ‘disbanding’ the guild (but certain members knows its not disbanded) and giving the council the list of very suspicious mages. is he a bit of a narc? sure. but its to get back at makaorv. this ends with fairy tail being disbanded by makarov and it only makes ivan feel even better about his choices.

viii. 🕊: v: wake from your sleep — they’re coming / alvarez invasion during the events of the alvarez invasion, raven tail had protected the towns surrounding the guild and fighting off the ships at the harbor, as they were the closest group of mages in that area. ivan was leading them all until he got zapped away by the most annoying spell in existence, universe one. 

ix. 🕊: v: the crown of love has fallen — but it still fits / post war - main the main verse, in x794 a year after the war and what it means. raven tail is a legal guild and ivan is the head and fairy tail and makarov are back. ivan can be seen glaring daggers at makarov whenever he can, but mostly. he is. attempting. to fix some bridges. mainly with laxus and his mother.

/// the folowing are aus ///

i. 🕊: v: on the grave of an old love the flowers are blooming / adoption verse plotted out with momo, a verse where kagura and simon mikazuchi get adopted by ivan. it sounds like crack, however, when the headcanons are uploaded and ready it will make sense and i will return to this blurb and update it.

ii. 🕊: v: revenge is a dish best served professional / gmg au this au is basically ‘what if raven tail didnt need to cheat’ verse. the major difference is ivan is not competing, zilla, my oc is. another difference is that raven tail is not seen cheating at all and instead use their brain and wits. unfortunately, there’s nothing we could do about kurohebi.

iii. 🕊: v: in the time of dragons / dragon search au in this Big au, the dragons are not frozen inside their children, but are somewhere else, trapped. porlyusica, in charge of natsu’s education, theorizes that natsu is from the past based on his language skills and seeks out to find this igneel the fire dragon. in this search, she seeks out help from ivan. and ivan can never say no to his mother.

[kalinara]

I really do pity Nate, I realize.  He’s so desperately unhappy and he has no idea how to fix it.

He’s so reliant on external validation for his happiness: his father, Ted, the team, twitter.  Those are all things that can temporarily make him happy.  But they’re impossible to maintain!

Nate’s dad is a dick, and there’s no magic solution to that.  Nate can get him all of the nice tables at a restaurant in the world and that’s not going to change that.

Ted is warm, supportive and full of unconditional love, but he can’t be Nate’s emotional crutch.  No one person can.  Ted is, to quote Beard, “just a man”, and he has his own flaws and issues that have kept him from being the support that Nate needs.

The team is great!  But there’s a bit of a poison pill there.  The team wasn’t ALWAYS great.  Once upon a time, they were terrible.  They made Nate miserable on a daily basis (and it’s still a little heartbreaking to see Nate in For the Children BEG them to pick on him extra tomorrow, rather than ruin his new suit).  The team are nice now, but how does he know it’s not some kind of long-game joke?  How can he be sure they won’t turn on him again?

Public validation, i.e. twitter, is fleeting.  And that’s why Nate is suddenly fixated on the idea of credit.  He sees perks that the players get: like the free coffee machines or the idea that Roy Kent would never have trouble getting the best table at a restaurant.  He likes the idea of recognition and groupies (who wouldn’t?).

It makes sense then that he fixates on the idea of being head coach.  The head coach has the name recognition.  All eyes are on him.  His triumphs are broadcast for the world to see.  No more saving good ideas for the right, most dramatic moments!  He could just use them!  (And well, there may be a little bit of revenge here too.  Ted failed at being the emotional support that Nate needed and Nate on some level resents him for that.)

Thing is, though, Nate would be terrible in Ted’s job.  Ted’s job title isn’t just coach.  It’s “Team Manager”.  This requires managing and motivating people: both the players and his underlings.  Admittedly, the team manager probably should have more knowledge of the game itself than Ted has, but he outsources that part.  Nate’s not going to be able to outsource his people skills.

And honestly, can you imagine poor Nate having to deal with Ted’s public reception?  It’s improved a lot, admittedly, but the man still gets called “wanker” on the street.   Imagine Nate trying to deal with the days when #FireLasso was trending on twitter.   Or having his name graffitied onto a stadium seat with the “O” turned into a hanged man.  (That’s a cute little visual gag in the opening theme song that hits a bit harder now, doesn’t it?)

Okay, Nate doesn’t have an “o” in his name.  But still.  Nate flinched at one negative twitter comment.  How would he deal with the pub guys?  Or even Mae’s stare of disapproval?

Poor Nate isn’t going to be any happier if he gets what he wants.  And the self-hatred, already expressed every time he spits in the mirror, is just going to get worse and worse.

Nate’s not a monster.  He’s just a desperately unhappy man who doesn’t understand that the only way to find the comfort and validation that he seeks is to look within him, not outside of him.  

It’s really a shame that Nate never sat down with Dr. Sharon.  It might have helped prevent all of this.

[weasleyswizardpleases]

Low Profile (reader x fred and george)

Summary: You and your best friends find yourself entangled in a secret polyamorous love affair, right under their family’s noses.

Warnings/Notes: Cw language, kissing (but no sex of any kind), family not accepting poly/queer relationship, bruising. This is for the wonderful and talented @lunalovecroft​’s 2.7k trope-inspired writing challenge! It’s also part of my loose series of fics that take place over the summer when y/n stays at the Weasleys’ house. No twincest- v shaped poly relationship. Here’s my masterlist if you want more! Enjoy!

Ever since you and Fred hooked up the first night of the summer, you’ve been joined at the hip even more than usual, and since George is always with Fred and usually with you, he had to be told once it was clear that you and Fred were gonna be more than a one night stand. You were a bit sad, knowing that it’d probably make him feel left out, in a way. You noticed that George looked a bit miffed when the two of you told him you were dating, in the loosest sense of the word. 

“What’s the matter, you jealous Georgie?” you tease, putting your hand on his knee flamboyantly. He blushes and you and Fred exchange a look.

“Oh my god, you actually are, aren’t you?” Fred asks, half-mocking. For once, George seems to be at a loss for words. He looks quite uncertain and a bit sad. You figure that you may as well break the tension and speak honestly; it’s more important to you to be frank and maintain your friendship than anything else. You clear your throat.

“George, honestly, if you’d been there instead of Fred that night, I’d probably have hooked up with you, too. We’ll all still be friends. That’s why we’re telling you, so we’re not keeping secrets,” you say, trying to goad him into speaking. He shakes his discomfort off and begins.

“Oh, I knew this would happen! We used to just be friends before the two of you started making eyes at each other all the time. Now I’ll barely be able to talk to the two of you- my two best friends, mind you- without all this lovey dovey shit. What an absolute nightmare!”

You open your mouth to speak, but George barrels on, looking at Fred this time.

“And you, some brother you are. You know how I feel about Y/N, I thought we had an agreement to keep it platonic all around?”

“It’s not my fault they’re interested in me!”

“George, I said I would have kissed you that night too! Actually, that’s what I’ve been trying to say to both of you. I’ve got feelings for you, both of you.”

They stop bickering and turn to look at you, turning the idea over in their minds.

“What are you saying?” asks Fred, looking a bit hurt.

“I’m saying,” you take a deep breath, “that I’ve never been better friends with one of you than the other. We do everything together. I don’t want that to change. Besides, you two are identical. Did you think your birthmark was that big of a selling point, Freddie? Of course I think you’re both good-looking, look in the mirror for goodness’ sake!”

They blink at you, then turn away to confer with one another in whispers. You tap your foot impatiently, but when they turn around, they’re beaming.

“So what you’re saying is you’d be fine with us sharing you?” George asks.

“More than fine. I’d be absolutely chuffed,” you say, returning their smiles.

“It’s settled, then,” Fred says, and plants a kiss on the top of your head. You look up at George permissively, and he puts his arm around you and gives you a squeeze.

“One thing, though. Mum and Dad can’t know. Mum especially. She’s not the most open-minded when it comes to this stuff. Especially with us. At least, I doubt she is,” Fred says.

“Yeah, funnily enough it never occurred to me to ask what she’d do if my twin brother and I started a poly fling with our best friend who also lives with us and sleeps in our bedroom, but if I had to guess, I don’t think she’d approve,” George adds, smirking.

“That’s ok. We have a pretty good track record when it comes to keeping secrets,” you say, a mischievous glimmer in your eye.

That evening, you’re helping Molly fold linens when she steps away for a moment to take the kettle off. You feel four hands slip around you from behind and soon you’re pulled into a kiss, Fred on your left, kissing you hard on the neck and collarbone, and George kissing your lips, taking your bottom lip gently between his teeth. You kiss them passionately but push them away after a second, regaining your composure.

“Not here!” you hiss, grinning. They exchange a cheeky glance and kiss you on each cheek before scurrying back to their room, giggling. You shake your head and turn back to folding sheets, just as Mrs. Weasley returns.

“My, my dear, that’s quite a bruise you’ve got there, what happened?” Mrs. Weasley clucks, gesturing to your collarbone where you’re surprised to see a dark, newly formed hickey.

“Oh, pickup quidditch match. I’m not very good, I’m afraid,” you say, the rush of the small lie filling you with butterflies.

“Well now, we are wizards after all. We can’t have you running about looking as if you’ve been sleeping under the whomping willow,” she says cheerfully. She extracts her wand and uses a quick healing spell on the spot, which fades quickly. You wonder if she really doesn’t recognize the bruise as a hickey, but you shrug. The twins have certainly gotten away with worse under this roof.

That night, you and the twins are in the kitchen having a midnight snack. The rest of the house is quiet. You’re sitting on the countertop, helping yourself to a biscuit, and George is leaning on the counter beside you. You feed him a little bite and he licks the crumbs from your fingers playfully. Fred is rummaging through the fridge across the room, and George peers into the fridge nosily. Something piques his interest, and he heads over, whispering to his brother indistinctly. You catch them giggling, and can hear snatches of their conversation. They appear to be working on something as they chat eagerly.

“Take the…”

“... and the… yes! Use a…”

“... that’s just bad…”

“...dare you…”

You hear the familiar sound of compressed air decompressing, and Fred whirls around with a pie tin full of whipped cream in his hand, grinning devilishly.

“No!” you whisper-scream, nearly falling off the countertop, but you’re not fast enough. Fred flops the tin into your face with a splat, and George laughs so hard he winds up on the ground kicking. You lick the cream from your lips, hungry for revenge.

You know Fred is secretly quite vain about his hair, and you waste no time sliding off the countertop and wrapping him up in a hug from behind. He suspects your ulterior motives immediately, but it’s too late for him to escape.

“Oh darling, give me a hug my sweet,” you say, making exaggerated kissy noises while burying your pie covered face in his nice clean hair. He flails about, and you tickle his ribs defensively, causing him to buckle. You fall to the ground with him, giggling and shoving at one another. Just as George joins in, trying to drag you off of his brother, kissing you all over as he tugs on your legs, you hear a floorboard creak. 

Ginny, whose room is closest to the kitchen, stands at the foot of the stairs, gaping at you. You’re sure she saw the kissing, and, well, the whole situation does look a bit… familiar. You whack George on the head and nod in Ginny’s direction.

“Oh, hello Ginny,” Fred says, disentangling himself from his situation beneath you.

“Hello, big brother,”

“Hello, Ginny,” George says, surprise straining his voice.

“Hello, other brother,”

“Hello, Ginny,” you say uncertainly, standing up and wiping your face off with a tea towel.

“Hello, Y/N,” she says. “Some of us are trying to sleep, you know,” she says, raising an eyebrow knowingly. Everyone speaks in hushed tones once again, having remembered that it is indeed the middle of the night. She nods curtly and scampers back upstairs, smiling cheekily.

“Did she see?” George whispers.

“Oh, she saw,” you assure him.

“But she wouldn’t say anything, right?” Fred asks.

“Surely not,” his brother replies nervously. 

“But if she does…” 

“We’re toast. No way mum believes us over her.”

“You guys are being too paranoid. Ginny isn’t a snitch like Ron and Percy, she wouldn’t blab on us for a bit of… roughhousing,” you say hopefully. The twins agree, and you help each other get cleaned up, George dabbing your face clean with a wet towel, giving you gentle kisses in between. 

The rest of the week goes by uneventfully. As far as you know, Ginny doesn’t say anything about what she saw, and life in the burrow goes on as usual. In the mornings, you and Hermione read quietly in the living room over tea. She reads the paper, you look at the comics, every once in a while stopping to remark on a thought you’ve had. 

Then George wakes up. He’s quiet in the mornings, a bit slow, although not very grumpy. Then Molly gets up and usually whips up some sort of breakfast, and by the times everyone’s up you all gather round the long table and eat together. Then, if you’re lucky, you run off outside or to a neighbor's house or abscond to the attic with Fred and George, away from prying eyes and away from Molly’s commands. If you’re unlucky, Molly enlists at least one of you in some chores, usually out in the garden. 

The next time the three of you come close to getting caught, you’re doing just this- de-gnoming with Fred, George, and Ron when Ron gets a headache and goes inside, complaining that it’s far too hot. In reality, the day is rather mild, although the sun is bright enough that Fred and George both have pink sunburns radiating across the bridges of their noses. You flick Fred on his sunburnt cheek and he winces.

“Ow! What’s that for?!” he asks, nearly dropping a gnome right back into the grass. 

“I need your attention!”

“For what?”

“A kiss,” you reply devilishly. He obliges you and kisses you dramatically, dipping you low, holding you in his arms. “Like this, mi amore?” he asks in a silly accent.

“Lunchtime!” Molly calls from the doorway, causing Fred to drop you to the ground and George to leap in front of the two of you oddly, trying to obscure his mum’s line of sight. You brush yourself off and head for the house, hoping Mrs. Weasley didn’t see anything.

“Fred Weasley!” Mrs. Weasley says shrilly, and you all cringe. You hold your breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. “Fred, did I just see you toss Y/n to the ground? That’s no way to treat a guest, especially when you’re meant to be doing housework!” You sigh deeply, relieved. “Come in, dearie, I swear, sometimes I don’t know who raised those two!” she says, putting an arm around you to guide you in the house.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2021 anime overview: Quick Takes

Now for my Spring 2021 anime thoughts! I’ve decided from now on if a season’s like, 20- to-24 episodes I’m just going to wait ‘til it’s done to review it unless I feels super passionately, so though I watched To Your Eternity (it’s good!) and MHA (eh), I’ll comment on them next time. Also, for the record, I watched the first eight eps of Joran: Princess and Snow of Blood but I dropped it because it had clearly crossed the line from entertainingly dumb to boring dumb. 

I will probably give Supercub and some other stuff a shot later, this was a stacked season! May give updates on all that later, but this is what I have for now.

ODDTAXI

Quick Summary: A mild mannered middle-aged walrus taxi driver is drawn into a case involving a missing girl, yakuza, Youtube clout-chasers, manzai comedians and idols with big secrets.

It’s rare to walk away from media and be like “that is a singular experience I will definitely never see repeated again” but ODDTAXI is definitely one of those. A tense noir thriller murder mystery starring cartoon animals that spends an entire episode detailing the one (cat)man’s very fall into darkness triggered by addiction to gacha games and an online auction for a novelty eraser? Also there’s a porcupine Yakuza who speaks entirely in rap? Also there’s tons of meandering conversations about stuff like manzai comedy and the struggle to go viral on Twitter?

Admittedly, I had a hard time getting into the first episode, the dry meandering humor not being enough to hold my attention while I was sitting still, but once I watched this while I was working out at the end of the season, I found it an easy binge. A ton of characters with dark secrets or dangerous ambitions, each with their own part to play in a tableau of intersecting events- and it all actually comes together really well.(As for the female characters, it’s a pretty dude driven story, but they do get nuanced characterization and even some good heroic moments from one of them.)

 It’s a great example of a carefully planned narrative paying off, with all the twists appropriately seeded and foreshadowed to reward viewers who paid attention. Even when it ended on a perfect “OH SHIT” moment and denied me closure, I couldn’t help but respect it. If you that all sounds interesting to you, definitely check out the first couple episodes and see if you like it- you’re likely to have a memorable, satisfying experience!

Shadows House

Quick Summary: Emilyko is a ‘living doll’ who’s told she was created to act as the ‘face’ of her shadow master, Kate. The shadows and their ‘dolls’ all reside on the mansion and are required to pass a ‘debut’ to prove they’re a good pairing. If they don’t pass, they might be disposed of. And so the mystery of the Shadow mansion grows...

This slice of gothic intrigue was my favorite of the season, tied with ODDTAXI. With an interesting premise, slightly tense undertones and a strong focus on character building and relationships, it kept me hooked the whole way through. And for any squeamish fans put off by the hype about it, don’t worry, while there are some suspenseful elements, I wouldn’t qualify it as horror. I thought the relationship between Kate and Emilyko might end up being a completely sinister one, but it’s thankfully a lot more complex than that and it’s really interesting to follow how both their characters and relationship grow. The focus of the show is, unsurprisingly, on the “dolls” slowly discovering their autonomy and personhood as they struggle under the rigid system imposed on them by the mysterious elders of this weird Victorian mansion. Can they develop a more equitable relationship with their shadow “masters” (who are also shown to suffer under this system)? There’s a lot to dig into there, and the show has the characters develop through learning to understand and appreciate each other, which is pretty heartwarming. Our hero, Emilyko, is the typical plucky ball of sunshine (they even nickname her sunshine), but she’s also shown to be clever in her own off-the-wall way and she bounces off the far more subdued and cynical Kate well, not to mention the other ‘dolls’ she ends up befriending. 

What’s more, the show spends plenty of time to developing several other character pairings and combinations, and they all have their own interesting dynamic that makes you want to see more of them. Same-gender bonds are at the forefront of this show, and many of them are ripe for queer readings (I definitely appreciated the healthy helping of ladies carrying ladies), but even outside that it’s nice to see a show where a strong, complex bond between girls is at the forefront. My only real complaints about the show are the anime original ending is noticeably a bit rushed (though it’s not too bad, and leaves room for a season 2) and I wish the animation used the whole “shadow” theme more strikingly (like the opening and endings do)- instead the colors are a bit washed out which makes the shadows blend into the background sometimes. The “debut” arc also drags a bit in places, but it makes up for it by having a lot of good character integration.

I hope to check out the (full color)! manga soon and see more of this quirky, shadowy story. There’s some physical abuse depicted, sad things happening to characters and naturally the whole “oppressive familial system” thing, but otherwise not much I can think of to warn about. I give this one a big rec, especially If you’re a fan of gothic fairytales and stories of self discovery.  

Zombie Land Saga Revenge

Quickest summary: In this sequel season, everyone’s favorite zombie idol group must claw their way back into prominence after a disastrous show- the fate of the Saga prefecture LITERALLY depends on it!

This was a fun follow-up to the first season- if you liked the first zombie-girl romp, you’ll probably enjoy this one. In fact, there were a couple areas it improved on- namely, Kotaro failed, ate crow and embarrassed himself a lot more this season, which made him more likeable (as did the fact the girls gained a lot of independence from him). This season also shed more light on what the ‘goal’ of this zombie raising project is and what kind of shit Kotaro got involved with to make this happen, and it’s appropriately off-the-wall and ridiculous. We finally got some backstory for Yugiri too! I wish it had focused on more of her interiority, but she got to be a badass in it, and it was a treat to see this zombie idol show turn into a period piece for a couple episodes (also her song ruled).

 Tae also got a cute focus episode and there was a particular SMASHING performance early on! Also That revelation last season that had the potential to turn creepy hasn’t yet, and hopefully never will. The finale was heartwarming with big hints of more drama to come- I’m definitely down for more zombie hijinks!

Vivy: Flourite Eye’s Song

Quickest Summary: A songstress AI named DIVA (nicknamed Vivy) is approached by another AI named Matsumoto, who says he’s from the future and they must work together to prevent AI exterminating all of humankind 100 years from now.

This show is absolutely gorgeous visually with some really nice action scenes, but when it comes to the story my feelings basically amount to a shrug. It’s fine! I guess! Vivy starts out as an interesting layered character- and I guess still is by the end- with her stoic but stubborn determination bouncing off her fast-talking bossy partner Matsumoto well. She never listens to him, which is delightful. The way the show took place over the course of 100 years was an interesting conceit as well. However, it bought up a lot of themes and then sort of... dropped them. For instance, Vivy interprets her mission (PRIME DIRECTIVE if you will) as protecting humans at all costs, no matter how destructive said humans are or what their fate is supposed to be, and is perfectly willing to murder her fellow androids to do this, showing she inherently thinks of androids (herself and her own people!) as less worthy. Which is a little alarming! There’s a very dramatic point in the show where they bring this up as a potential conflict for her character but then it’s sort of...dropped. Pretty much.

Actually, despite the premise, the show doesn’t dip into the “AI rights” as much as you think it would with the main theme being more about Vivy’s search to find her own creativity and discover what it means to ‘pour your heart into something’. Vivy herself doesn’t actually care if she has rights or anything. Which is in some ways fine, because ‘AI as an oppressed class’ has been done to death, but IT’S ALSO KIND OF IN THE PREMISE, so that means that the show just shrugs really hard at a lot of the questions it brings up  basically just going “humans and AI should work together probably” and that’s it. There’s a lot that feels underexplored. The antagonists in the show also either have motivations that don’t really make sense or have boring hackneyed motivations. In the finale in particular, it feels like a lot of things happen “just because” and it falls a little flat.

I also have to warn that one of the arcs focus on a robot ‘pairing’ where the dude-coded robots actions toward his partner are straight up awful and rob her of her autonomy, but it’s played like a tragic love story. I suppose you could read it differently too, but it definitely made me go ‘ew’ the story seemed to want me to sympathize with this robo dude,

Overall, I wouldn’t anti-recommend this show, it’s an all right little sci-fic romp (and definitely SUPER pretty). My favorite element was definitely the episodes where Vivy develops an entirely new (an loveable) personality, because it played with the idea of of an AI getting “rebooted” really well and interplay between her two “selves” was done really well. But there are a lot of other parts of the show that just feel...a little underexplored and empty, making me have an ‘eh’ feeling on the show overall. It’s definitely an ambitious project, and while it didn’t quite stick the landing, there’s something to be said for a show that shoots for the stars and falls short over a show that just languishes in mediocrity.

Fruits Basket The Final

Quick summary: The final season of that dramatic drama about that weird family with a zodiac curse and the girl who loves them.

It’s very weird that after not cutting a lot out, they kinda sped through some material for, you know, the finale. I guess they thought they couldn’t stretch this final arc to 26 episodes? Or weren’t cleared for another double cour? However, though there were a couple places that felt awkward, despite being a bit condensed it mostly held together pretty well for a D R A M A T I C and ultimately heartwarming conclusion. I was really disappointed they kept the part where Ritsu cut their hair for the ‘happy ending’, I thought  their intro episode not showing them in men’s clothes meant the anime had decided their presentation didn’t need to be “fixed” but WELL I GUESS NOT. That was the only big upset for me though, otherwise the adaptation went about how I expected, sticking to the source material. Furuba has a lot of bumps, from weird age gap stuff to ...gender, but it also has a lot of important feels and great character arcs. It was a gateway shoujo for many and has its important place in animanga history, so I’m glad it finally got a shiny, full adaptation.

[gojology]

Job Benefits (Part Three)

broken routines - chapter three.

you can find part two here : 

part two : undesirable pairing : ceo! gojo x female reader warnings : cursing wordcount : 1442 a/n : im highly disappointed with this but im very hyped abt writing part 4 and uh i need to change my writing style sooner or later wtf is this mess LOL

     If there’s one thing Gojo knows more then his own body, it’s routines.       It’s what he grew up around, coming from such a bustling family. Since he learned how to walk, he had attended many interviews, gone to parties, all in one day. Of course, it was commonplace in his already hectic life. He saw routine in everything.      Imagine his shock when you came into the office in an outfit that differed so greatly from your regular one that his jaw might unhinge and fall off.      He can’t wrap his head around why, but he’s utterly confused as to why you changed this up. Was it permanent, and why the change? He had many questions going through his head. This is one of the many negative traits Gojo Satoru has; he thinks his input is important, even though the majority of time it is... Maybe it was somewhat justified. But he doesn’t realize how unnecessary it comes out to be when no one asked.      No one had ever told him no, of course they hadn’t, he was ranked nationally as an important kid due to his wit and charismatic personality, essential for entering the business industry.     When he opened his mouth to speak, even at 8 years old at his parent’s conferences, the old professionals would all look at him, keenly waiting for his orders, or perhaps his opinion. This was what he grew up having; so naturally he didn’t know any boundaries, nor did he know when to close his mouth.      But that’s besides the point, he thoroughly enjoyed the look on you.     He takes his normal trip down the hallway into your office, humming a tune, a messy stack of papers in one hand, a custom ceramic mug in the other; made personally just for him. He expects to see you in your regular outfit, a pencil skirt, white t-shirt, the short clicky heels, and the black blazer. It certainly made for an excellent example of casual, formal attire.      Unexpectedly, you’re not. You’re calling someone, phone perched delicately on your shoulder almost as if it’s supposed to slip out, your hair framing your face. Lips parting as you start responding to whatever is on the opposite side, and he notices an evident gloss, your lips are a different color too.      You glance up at him and gesture to your phone, and his hands are shoved deep into his pockets, taking this extra time to examine you up and down. White turtleneck, layered alongside a slightly unbuttoned dress shirt with a crisp warm toned brown trench coat. Not too long, not too short.       Simple gold jewelry adorned your neck, and his eyes caught onto the gold bracelet that jingled on your arm as you swayed it around; he kinda found it cute how even when the person you were talking to wasn’t in front of you, you were still so animated.      Gojo can’t see your pants nor your shoes, but he’s about to enter cardiac arrest because truthfully he didn’t expect that you knew how to dress.     “What?” you say, words dripping with venom and menace, putting the phone back down. He’s taken aback, what’s with the tone?      “What do you mean, what, (Y/N)?” giving you a shit eating grin, he takes a step closer to your table.     “Answer my question, I asked first.” you shot back, now crossing your legs, you hope you look bored just to add more insult to injury. The guy deserved it for thinking the world revolved around him.      He doesn’t answer, instead staring at you, setting his cup of coffee onto the already crowded tabletop, slightly hunched over. You feel your heart drop. Fuck, maybe seeking some sort of symbolic revenge against your boss wasn’t the best of ideas.    Actually, none of your ideas were the best last night. Naturally you’d only think up disasters when you were under distress.     “What’s with the new outfit? Buy a new fashion sense on Amazon?” he finally inquires, a tinge of sarcasm in his voice, brushing your... Rude words aside.      You shrug, pulling out your planner from the drawer and mumbling, biting your pen before writing inside, they’re mindless words. You hope your acting is good, because you want to cry again even at the slight sound of those words. “I don’t know, I felt like I would try something different.” Fuck, were was the sass? Why did you answer nervously? Why did you feel so scared?      There was obviously something that you wanted to do rather then chit chat with him, and Gojo’s now unoccupied hand rubs his neck, this was suddenly so awkward, even for someone as lively as him.     “Hm. Right. Anyways, these were in the printer.” he slaps the freshly printed lukewarm pages onto your desk. “Figured these were yours, still had your name on them.”      “Ah. Thanks.” you say before yawning, covering your mouth before sliding the papers back into the drawer behind you- as if you had no care for them. Actually, you didn’t. This was apart of your master plan that you had crafted at 1 AM last night, too exhilarated to rest. You would print papers out in Gojo’s printer, which you had used once in a while prior so it wouldn’t be too suspicious, and since Gojo never left the dang office he’d hear the sounds and return them to you.       Both of you were silent again, and he’s debating between hitting you up with a topic of conversation, perhaps a joke, but you seem so uninterested he’s not sure if it’s the right moment.      “Just to let you know- your lunch break is in 10 minutes.” he adds, whistling to try to appear careless, but he could feel his heart sinking. You were acting unusually cold, no dramatic tantrums from you that he usually loved. In fact, that was the whole reason why he liked coming to your office. That, and the cute stationary.     “Ah! Really?” you make sure to act like you just got a ticket to heaven, just as a petty way of saying, “Hey. You’re boring. I want to get out.” and Gojo’s pretty sure that all the contents of his heart was shattered now.       Hmph. Whatever, if you continued this behavior he’d swear he’d fire you, but even he knows that’s not true. He had grown fond about you over the small amount of time that you had worked as his secretary, besides, what was a good work life if you didn’t have a good relationship with your very own secretary? He’s sure his banter doesn’t affect you.     “Yeah.” he says, now quiet. He turns his back on you, pausing for a quick moment before walking out, not before he bangs the top of his forehead against the door frame, which earned a slight groan out of him, and just like that he left. You still hear the faint clicking against the tile floor from his shoes.       You exhaled a sigh you didn’t know you were holding, twirling your office chair to look at the large window pane behind your desk. This was something you admired about the architecture of the building you worked out. Every single office had a large window facing Tokyo, so late working hours would always involve beautiful city lights and the bustling of night life.       The sun and sky was bright and cheery, and it comforted your frazzled body. Today wasn’t as bad as yesterday, but it still felt strange from not having your daily ridiculous conversation with Gojo- and strangely you missed it.       Instilled with energy and motivation, you stand up, pulling your bento out of your bag, determined to go through with the rest of your plan. You knew Gojo had a good friend that worked here, Keto Sugareu or something like that. You’d have lunch with him, work your feminine charms, and that was that.       It wasn’t like you wanted to, but a part of you so desperately wanted to prove to Gojo that you could be smart, witty, yet sexy at the same time. You weren’t a prude- just someone not as exposed to these lifestyles.     But you didn’t really eat your lunch in the break room, rather, you were almost always in your very own office. If you weren’t found in there, it’d either be the bathroom or conspiring to steal Gojo’s luxury coffee machine at your house. Infact, you’re not even quite sure if you remember how it looks like.    “Whatever.” you mumble to yourself, before scooping up your utensils and napkins and heading out for the break room.      You shouldn’t have ever stepped foot into that cursed hellish room that day.

nice to see u down here, u want chapt 4? too bad. just kidding! here, have at it.  chapter four : conspiring     

[hello-nichya-here]

Ok, so what in your opinion is the WORST mistake that the showrunners for Game of Thrones made in terms of content, either it's addition or redaction?

WARNING: Looooooong post ahead

Themes are for eighth-grade book reports

This absurd quote by one of the showrunners explains why exactly the show fell appart. They wanted to make a story... without themes. Anyone with a minimally functioning brain will tell that this is impossible because every story, even the simplest and least complicated story there ever, has a theme. Even a nihilistic story has a theme "Nothing matters". Every. Story. Has. A. Theme.

But Game Of Thrones didn't, at least not after the writers ran out of books to adapt and did their own thing. Everything every character did was no longer to build a narrative, but to essentially act as click-bait. The focus was to make people keep watching, not on making any content that was worth watching.

The first four seasons had it's problems, just like the books had it's problems, but Martin's writting was so brilliant that it managed to stay good even while being handled by absolute clowns. The moment season four ended was the moment the show stopped being an adaptation and became it's own thing - and like I explained before, said thing wasn't a story.

Shock

Both the show and the books had MANY shocking, heart-breaking and downright horrifying scenes: Daenerys being raped by Drogo; Bran being pushed out the window after accidentally seeing the queen fucking her brother; the whole deal with Craster and his daughters; the Dotrakhi destroying Mirri's village and her revenge against them and Daenerys; Ned's death; Melisandre giving birth to a shadow baby that killed Renly; The Red Wedding; Jeoffrey's death; Tyrion killing his father; Theon being tortured by Ramsay...

The difference is there were REASONS behind the shocking scenes Martin created. Even when you look at things like rape and torture scenes and threats of rape/torture - Martin used those scenes to remind us that the world he created is an EXTREMELY dangerous and downright vile place, and that the characters are never truly safe, and that there are WAY worse things than just being killed.

Dumb & Dumber on the other hand, gaves us scenes like an evil, former man of the night's watch evily making an evil speech to his fellow evil men, evily drinking whine from a human skull while nameless women were being raped in the background - but little does he know that Jon Snow, the hero, is about to wreck his shit. It takes something that could realistically happen (and that did happen in the books) and takes it up to eleven because the writers think shock is the same as quality and that the audience is SO STUPID that they need to practically make the actor jump out of the TV, grab us by the shoulders and scream "I'M EVIL! I'M THE BIG BAD! ROOT FOR THE HERO TO KILL ME!"

Pretty much every bad guy became a parody of Jeoffrey, ironically enough because the writers took Jeoffrey too seriously. He was a cruel, sadistic character, who had WAY too much power - but he was also a spoiled baby whose reply to Tyrion bitch-slapping him wasn't a threat, but "I'M TELLING MOM!" Jeoffrey worked because he was only allowed to do his thing whenever smarter, more competent characters like Tyrion and Tywin where not around, meaning his actions, while inhumane, never reached the point of no longer being believable.

The horrible things that happened to the characters no longer felt "right". For instance, Sansa had just been taken to the Eerie by Little Finger, who has a weird complex in which he sees her both as the daughter he never had with Catelyn AND as a replacement for Catelyn, and she was starting to truly be a player instead of a pawn... and then the writers realized "Oh shit, we should have not cut the Jeyne Pool/Fake Arya' plot, that was important" and forced it on Sansa, making Little Finger hand her on a silver plater to Ramsay and turning her into a victim AGAIN, this time to a man that dramatically fights his enemies without a shirt own, practically saying "come at me bro"

Compare this to Ned's beheading, or Catelyn and Rob being betrayed and killed by the Freys. These moments were shocking and downright depressing - but they were earned. The writting was on the wall for anyone to see: Ned was at the mercy of Jeoffrey, and the Starks had given the Freys, who are notoriously disloyal, a reason to resent them. These twists felt completely natural, were the only logical way for the situation the characters were in to play out, AND they had consequences to plot instead of just making the audience gasp and then being forgotten about.

Plot armor

It's kind of ironic and almost tragic that the show that became famous for killing characters later became the worst type of high-stakes series, putting the characters in situations they could NOT survive, not even if a goddamn miracle happened, and having them live anyway. What's even worse is that it happened repeatedly. If I had to see Jon Snow almost die and then survive anyway one more fucking time I was going to lose my mind.

There's no bigger proof that there were just no consequences for the "main" characters anymore than watching the second, third, and fourth episodes of season either. The first sets up that this battle against the night king and his army of undead is likely going to kill the majority of them, if they're lucky... and then in the third we see the plot armor in all of it's "glory", and then in the forth we find out that the Dotrakhi, who had ALL been killed, actually still have half the numbers they had the night before, somehow. Even red-shirts weren't dying anymore.

DORNE

This disaster needed it's own session because HOLY SHIT, it's a miracle/tragedy that everyone didn't go "Fuck it, I'm never watching another episode of this stupid show."

The Dorne plot in the books isn't perfect, but what the show did to it was so fucking bad that I'm pretty sure the writers didn't even read the Dorne chapters in the books, they just looked at a wiki, wrote down the names of a few characters and then did their own shitty thing.

In the books, Doran Martel is a clever, dangerous man, who pretends to be harmless so people will understimate him and step right into his trap. In the show, Doran Martel... died. That's it. I can't remember anything else that happened to him. Add him to the list of "Brilliant characters that became stupid due to shitty writing", I'm sure Tyrion, Varys and Little Finger will love making him company.

The sand-snakes, one of the main driving force of that plot, were all distinct characters in the books, with their personalities, goals, methods and motivations - basically they were created by a writer who knew what he is was doing. In the show they were all the same "character" who could be perfectly described by that horrible, cringy, PAINFUL line one of them (I can't even remember which) said to Bron "You want a good girl, but you need the bad pussy" (Seriously, if that actress ever kills the show-runners as revenge for having to say that, she'll be 100% justifyed in doing so)

And we cannot forget the driving force behind that unwatchable shit show: Ellaria Sand. In the books, the death of Oberyn made her believe that revenge only leads to more blood-shed. In the show, his death enraged to the point of wanting to avenge him and his family, and she did this... by killing his family. If that doesn't explain how insane and stupid this plot-line was, I don't know what will.

Hype = Character assassination

Many shows are based around the conflict between the bad guys and the good guys. Game Of Thrones is not one of these shows. Or at least it wasn't. As they ran out of ideas, the writers started mutilating every single character until they could be label as "Good" or "Bad", regardless of what felt right to the story and to the point that there was nothing left of said characters. Stannis's actor, Stephen Dillane, straight up said that the only thing he got from being on the show was money and that his character's motivations and decisions were nonsense - ironically enough, that kind of brutal honesty means that the writers had THE perfect actor play Stannis, and wasted his fucking time.

Here's a list of the characters that fell victims to this horrible fate: Catelyn Stark, Tyrion Lannister, Sansa Stark, Arya Stark, Jon Snow, Melisandre, Stannis, Jorah, Daenerys (bonus points for being mutilated into being both a generic, shitty "hero" and a generic, shitty "villain") Greyworm, Rhaegar Targaryen, Lyanna Stark...

Pretty much the only character who became more complex in the show than she was in the books was Cersei. While her book self was never just a "Generic Evil Queen", the show version of her was far more sympathetic, which made the stories she was part of interesting. Too bad the writers ran out of ideas of what to do with her after season six and just left her by the window drinking whine until Dany showed up to kill her. Which brings us to...

Why is this happening?

Cersei was seen as a threat in the last two seasons based on nothing but the things she HAD done. Her story just ended the very second season six did, but since she was still alive despite being one of the bad guys she had to die... I guess. She (and by extention Jaime) joined the list of characters that had nothing to do, but were still around: Davos, Theon, Yara, Melisandre, Bron, Sam, Gendry, Bran (the last one being SO unnecessary that he was cut from season five and no one noticed)

To combat that issue, the writers gave characters "motivations" that made no sense. For exemple: Sandor Clegane. His only reason to be in the show was so he could kill his brother. The problem was that Gregor was already dead. He was a walking corpse. There was nothing left of the abusive brother Sandor once knew, meaning he had no reason to fight him, and that, to keep Sandor around, the writers should have come up something new (like the redemption that book fans have been waiting for, and that has a lot of backing evidence). You might as well have had HIM be the one to randomly fly out of nowhere and kill the night king despite having no connection to him.

And since we're talking about the night king... Arya was the one to kill him. Why? Because the writers ruined Jaime's redemption arc, meaning that the only fitting ending for him was to die with Cersei, and so Arya could not kill Cersei despite wanting to, having the ability to do, AND having heard a prophecy that said she'd "Shutting brown eyes, blue eyes, and green eyes forever", the last one being the only one she had not done AND applying to Cersei. But Dumb & Dumber admitted they had no plan for this, so now that they were at the last season, they needed to do something with it, and they retconned it to mean Arya would kill the night king...

But Arya killing him meant Jon had nothing to do, so Dany had to go mad so he could kill her. To "hint" at that, they ignored all the not at all subtle foreshadowing the previous season had of Dany and Jon having a kid, and they even showed her getting jealous that he was technically the true heir... even though that made no sense since they were going to rule together anyway, and even after Dany went full "Mad Queen" she ASKED HIM TO RULE WITH HER. But anyways, he kills her and becomes king...

Except he doesn't actually become king and him being a secret Targaryen has no effect in the plot, because Bran needed to become king so there'd be a reason for him to be alive, because his magical powers turned into a plot-device. A plot-device that wasn't used at any goddamn point. Seriously, the only thing as bad as Bran becoming king was Euron's existence - dude was THE most useless villain ever AND the worst Jeoffrey parody.

A darker story (literally)

I could not end this rant without bitching about this. What is the point of spending an ungodly amount of money on sets, costumes, make-up, special effects... and then using such poor lighting that no one can see what the fucking is going on?

Anyway, this disaster of a series was so absurd it should be used as an exemple of what NOT to do.

[bamfdaddio]

X-Men Abridged: 1978

The X-Men, those take-me-to-the-ballgame mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!

(X-Men 109 - 116) - by Chris Claremont and John Byrne, Tony Dezuniga

Yes, the plan here is to toss Kurt at Magneto and yes, it’s objectively the best panel of 1978. (X-Men 113)

If the X-Men were a tv-show, the Phoenix mending the M’Kraan Crystal would probably have been the finale of season 1 of X-Men: the New Generation. Now that we’ve had this big finish, Claremont takes his time to sow new plot seeds and navigate his team of merry mutants in new directions. Compared to 1977, 1978 is a lot more laid back, with smaller arcs and more character moments.

Take the first two issues of the year, for example. The victorious X-Men come home from their space capers and for a moment, all is well. Ororo is a plant mommy, Kurt is a grade-A cutey and Jean comes out to her parents as the Phoenix. (Intrigued? Read more here.) And, because Moira going back home to Scotland, the X-Men say goodbye to her through… a baseball game! (Which, I guess if you’re comic book character bound by the comic book code, is the next best thing to just getting drunk together.)

It’s all very straight-edge wholesome.

Lilandra is very absent: I’m assuming she is sleeping off the space jetlag somewhere. idk

Sure, there’s still a few action-packed B-plots: a fight scene is mandatory in a comic book, after all. Weapon Alpha tries to claim Wolverine in the name of the Canadian government and some nobody named Warhawk sneaks into the mansion as a phone repairman to rig the Danger Room into a Death Trap.

(Look, you have a danger room. Why are you calling phone repairmen? During breakfast, did Charles go around the table, asking anyone if they wanted to fix the phone and everyone was like “nnnnnno, I am le tired”.)

Anyway, how would you unwind after a baseball game? Scott has an awesome idea! (I'm betting Scott would have embraced the Comics Code.)

This is the one issue not drawn by John Byrne this year. Dezuniga does a fine enough job, but Jean using her powers looks like she’s barfing psy-energy all over the place. (X-Men 110)

Warhawk traps the rest of the X-Men in the Danger Room. Wolverine gets a moment to shine as the team’s rogue, finally getting a win after getting knocked on his ass lately. Also, Kurt calls Warhawk Krieghabicht. (Hee.) Jean, meanwhile, is startled because despite her phenomenal powers, she was taken out so easily. She makes the formal choice to rejoin the X-Men.

And the next time we see them… THE X-MEN HAVE VANISHED? (yes, i know this sentence contradicts itself, shut up)

We find Beast at a circus in Texas, investigating their disappearance while on a sabbatical from the Avengers. See, Lorna called him because Havok was kidnapped in Scotland and the X-Men did not pick up, so she called good ole Hank McCoy. We know Charles is honeymooning with Lilandra, so where are the X-Men?

Cerebro leads Hank to a circus and, dude, for someone who’s supposed to be a genius, you draw the conclusion that these are the brainwashed X-Men way too slowly.

I by no means wish to belittle Storm’s situation, but Wolverine is in equally skimpy clothing while chained the fuck up, Beast. Can’t spare a little sympathy for him? (X-Men 111)

Beast continues being the worst detective mutantkind has ever known: even Jean, who’s currently a cigarette smoking trapeze artist named Miz Destiny, barely convinces him that these are the X-Men. When Beast finally confronts the Ring Leader, it turns out to be… Mesmero!

This pose: appropriate for a super villain or suitable for a Harlequin novel cover? Especially with all this talk about enthralling? (X-Men 112)

Apparently Mesmero doesn’t give a fuck that half these X-Men aren’t the same X-Men that fought him before. Revenge is a dish best served cold and to the wrong table, apparently. Beast fighting ole Messy causes Wolverine to spring free from his hypnotic influence. Wolvie proceeds to slap Jean out of it (literally) and they free the rest of the X-Men. But when they come and confront Mesmero in his little circus wagon, their villain is knocked out…

By Magneto.

dun dun DUN

Magneto proceeds to kidnap them, like this:

Magneto, who has no patience for narrative baggage, also yeets out Mesmero over the Andes, no big deal (X-Men 112)

Just like Mesmero, Magneto wants misplaced revenge. Instead of exacting vengeance on Charles, Moira and the Defenders involved in (literally) infantilizing him - no, seriously, he was a baby - Magneto comes for these All-New X-Men. (Look, logic has never been one of Magneto’s super powers.)

He takes the X-Men to his secret base below the South Pole, tucked away under a literal volcano. (He really should be on the tourist board for Amazing Antarctica, this is his third base there.) The X-Men, after they have safely landed, attack him, but they are tossed around like rag dolls, falling one by one - even the Phoenix.

Jean does have the right idea, though: it’s my theory that the key to defeating Magneto is being equally dramatic and hammy. (X-Men 112)

Somewhere on a cruise ship, Charles loses contact with the X-Men and proceeds to do absolutely nothing about it. Damn, but Elizabeth Taylor Lilandra must have some pretty choice moves in bed.

YOU COULD TRY FINDING OUT, CHARLES. (X-Men 113)

When the X-Men wake up, they're bound by Nanny, a robotic… uh, nanny! And Magneto unveils his revenge: he has scrambled the X-Men’s brains: they are fully conscious, but are trapped, powerlessly in their bodies, which won’t follow the instructions of their brains. It’s as if they’re the minds of adults, trapped in the bodies of infants - just like Magneto was. (He does not succumb to an evil laughter, but he’s definitely drifting into Evil Overlord territory.)

Look, a lot of this is very silly. Magneto hasn’t really been codified by Claremont yet: he’s still very much the sixties super villain and he doesn’t have his Holocaust-past yet. His motivations don’t make much sense: it’s never made clear why he needs the base, for example, or why he doesn’t just kill the X-Men. And yet, he seems more menacing than he used to be. Might be because these X-Men actually have a hard time beating him.

A lot of this era works like that. There’s the occasionally very silly trappings of a superhero comic, but there’s also glimmers of exceptional writing. Take the following scene, for example, which I’ll just include in its entirety, because fuck it. Storm is trying to break free, on the flimsy premise that she was a highly advanced baby who had the motor skills of a toddler. (I’ve met babies. They basically eat, sleep and poop. They can’t really do this.) And yet? This scene kind of works.

Like, the fact that this scene works despite the fact that Magneto thought to give his Nanny-robot a sixties copper bob-cut and a aluminium French maid headpiece is a testament to effective writing. (Also to Magneto’s attention to detail.) (X-Men 113)

No worries, Storm succeeds the second time she attempts this.

Together, the now free team manages to almost defeat Magneto, but Phoenix grows a little too zealous, destroying precious machinery. It proves to be their undoing: the roof to the base cracks open, letting lava in. Things grow dire and Magneto gets the nope out of there.

The lava turns on the heat and the team gets split up. Phoenix escapes together with Beast, and they both collapse into the freezing snow in the Arctic. A helicopter saves them, but what about the rest of the team? Are they dead?!

They’re dead enough for Professor X, and I really have questions about the effectiveness of Cerebro. After a brief mourning period, Beast rejoins the Avengers. But what really happened to the X-Men? Well, they fled into the Savage Land!

So, are we getting a sexy costume change with every new locale and/or story arc? What is this, Charmed? (X-Men 114)

The Savage Land plot is… kind of messy and confusing? First, Storm is attacked by Sauron (yay!) and he even hypnotizes Wolverine and uses his love for Jean against him (ew!), but as soon as Karl Lykos gains control again (boo!), he explains how he

Did not fall to his death;

Is suppressing his pterodactyl side (ain’t we all);

allied himself with the Savage Landers.

Then Ka-Zar, Marvel´s discount!Tarzan, explains how someone named Zaladane transformed a hapless innocent into Garruk, the Petrified Man, who is some sort of… living god? Who stopped some sort of interdimensional invasion by mending some sort of… portal rift? And then he set up shop in the swamp and built some sort of futuristic city? And he wants to enslave all of the natives of the Savage Land? And he built his city on the geothermal fissure that heats the Savage Land, so now the jungle is being choked out by snowy tundra?

Such a mess. And I know Zaladane gets important later, but, ugh, the socio-political tensions in the Savage Land is generally not what I’m here for.

One of the few Savage Land scenes I do like is also messy, but the emotional kind of messy. See, the X-Men on their part believe Jean and Hank are dead, and Scott takes it rather… lightly? When Storm confronts him about it, he confesses he does not mourn Jean as much as he thought he would, as if she were a different woman ever since they crash-landed the shuttle. Storm rejects this confession, always solidly in Jean’s camp, and basically tells Scott to man up. Scott has a point: Jean has changed and it’s not like people have fallen out of love for less, but there’s something to be said for Storm’s firm “for better or for worse”-argument. The scene ends unresolved, and I like that.

Anyway, there’s some X-Men fighting dinos and flying lizards, so there’s at least that. Oh, and Colossus develops a suddenly intense bond with a Savage Lander with a mohawk, which is a detail that becomes important later. Another significant detail?

There’s a lot of weight to that snikt, bub. (X-Men 116)

The implication is that Wolverine simply kills the guy in cold-blood. It’s a little weird that both Storm and Kurt are so okay with this, especially because Storm tries to save Garruk later. This, however, also marks an important direction in which they’re taking Wolverine, becoming the most ruthless of the X-Men.

In the end, Cyclops blasts the foundations of the citadel to smithereens, solving everyone’s problems and putting a neat bow on this tangled plotline. Also, all of a sudden? The X-Men are monthly again! (yay!) And they’ve upgraded from All-New, All-Different to Uncanny on the cover, though the name of the comic won’t officially change until issue 142.

Best new character: Like Hell I’m giving this to Weapon Alpha! So instead, it’s going to the two stylish, mohawked ladies who “show the island” to Piotr. (Again. They’ll be relevant later. Sort of.)

What to read: X-Men 109, for the denouement of the Phoenix Saga (or the first part thereof). The rest is rather inconsequential.

[wisteria-lodge]

Character Analysis: Sorting Hamlet & Horatio

using the @sortinghatchats system

PRIMARY = MOTIVE. WHY DO YOU DO THINGS?

LION Primary’s sense of morality and ethics comes from inside. Things just feel right or they feel wrong. BIRD Primary gets their morality and ethics from the world outside them. They decide what they think is right. BADGER Primary is focused on the good of the group. Who cares if something is technically “moral” if people are getting hurt? SNAKE Primary is a lot like Badger, but instead of protecting the group, their highest law is the well-being of the individual people they love.

SECONDARY =  METHOD. HOW DO YOU DO THINGS?

LION Secondary gets their power from being direct, honest, completely themselves. Their “plan” is just keep going until someone stops them. If they see a locked door, they kick it in. BIRD Secondary collects tools and skills. They build things, find things, learn things. If they see a locked door, they go through their box of keys until they find the right one. BADGER Secondary is fair, hardworking, and shows up. They’re good at getting people to trust them, and good at getting people to help them. If they see a locked door, they knock. SNAKE Secondary knows the right mask to wear for each situation. They’re adaptive. They go in the back way. They find the third option.  They’re the ones who know how to pick the locks.

HAMLET, PRINCE OF DENMARK has one heck of a Bird primary. He’s a philosophy student who “consider[s] too curiously,” thinking over the morality of his actions while playing thought-experiment games with Horatio. He knows his uncle is guilty, he suspects it from the beginning, but he can’t act on that gut feeling until he has some real proper outside evidence. He gets a bad feeling about the duel, but dismisses it as “foolery… such a kind of gain-giving as would perhaps trouble a woman.” Then decides that he can’t allow himself to suspect a trap behind every corner, and goes in to fight.

This is why sticking him in Elsinore Castle is such a good dramatic set-up.  Everyone there is basically gaslighting him - treating the fact that his uncle married his mother and became the new king (instead of Hamlet, the old king’s son) as  totally and completely normal. To stay sane, he needs Horatio standing there reaffirming his version of reality - yes, you’re right, the funeral and the wedding were weirdly close together. I believe you.

The other thing that makes me think Bird primary is the way Hamlet’s worldview changes. At first he’s lost, tortured by indecision (a very Bird primary problem). But then he talks to the Norwegian soldier and has the epiphany that people kill “even for an eggshell” [read: “for one corn chip”] all the time. He says “from this time forth / my thoughts be bloody or be nothing worth” and then they are. From then on, Hamlet’s the perfect Revenge Protagonist. Kills Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, zero guilt, doesn’t back down from the duel, stabs and poisons Claudius. In the last act he looks really Lion, because he’s adopted a more Lion-flavored personal philosophy.

Hamlet definitely models Snake secondary. But he’s very bad at it and fools no one. A short rundown of the critiques of Hamlet’s acting:

POLONIUS ~ “though this be madness/yet there is method in it” CLAUDIUS ~ “what he spoke, though it lacked form a little/ was not like madness” HORATIO ~ “these are but wild and whirling words my lord.”

(Arguably Hamlet fools Ophelia. Arguably.)

There’s also the Bird secondary model he uses to stage the elaborate psychological trap that is the play-within-a play, and forge the letter that kills Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Good penmanship, knowledge of plays, just some of the tools in Hamlet’s toolbox.

But, neither of those methods seem to be especially healthy for him. Hamlet is most comfortable, and most powerful, when he can just stare someone down and say the true thing. “I know not ‘seems’” is pretty much the first thing we hear him say. Again, it’s kind of cruel that this character is stuck in Elsinore, forced to wear so many alternate models.

So, when Hamlet is stressed he gets abrupt and he gets direct. He does that on/off thing which is very Lion secondary. (Do nothing… do nothing... do a bunch of stuff, all at once.) That climatic sword fight at the end is pure charging lion. He seemed to get along well with the pirates? And since Shakespeare is a writer who finds lion secondaries particularly tragic, it makes sense he’d give one to his most iconic tragic hero.

This also means Hamlet house-matches Ophelia, which is ultimately why I think they don’t work. They’re too alike. I’m not going to speculate much on which sortings are compatible with each other (hell if I know) but I will say this: being in a romantic relationship with your exact match is probably a bad idea. You are just going to double down on the weaknesses and have trouble coming up with alternate solutions when things go wrong.

Also, the way the Closet scene plays out makes me think that Gertrude and Hamlet both have to be Lion secondaries. Gertrude starts off using her snake secondary model, trying to deflect and maneuver around her son, but he uses that Lion to just be threateningly honest until she starts giving him real answers. Basically they scream true things at each other until they both calm down. Lion secondaries… are comforted by cathartic fights, in a way that I don’t think the other secondaries are. For Gertrude and Hamlet, it’s actually a wholesome bonding experience.

HORATIO is a really clean example of a Snake primary, and I love that for him. The only reason he does anything is because of Hamlet. That’s only thing in his life that matters, or possibly even exists. (“I do not know from what part of the world / I should be greeted, if not from Lord Hamlet.”) When Hamlet asks him why he’s come to Elsinore, the place so terrible it will drive you to alcoholism, Horatio says, “I came to see your father’s funeral.” I came because I thought you needed me. That’s it. Horatio stays in an incredibly dangerous and precarious situation because he doesn’t want Hamlet to be alone. He kind of needs to be a Snake primary, he doesn’t make sense otherwise.

As for secondary - Badger. He’s a badger. Horatio is the kind of solid, dependable guy who you call if you’re having ghost problems. And even though the guards think he has special ghost-busting knowledge (being a graduate of Wittenberg and all) that’s not how Horatio handles the situation. He talks to the ghost, he wants to know where it is coming from. Wants to know how he can help.

Horatio, possibly uniquely (since everybody else is a snake or lion secondary) has a really good grasp on the interpersonal dynamics of both the court and Denmark as a whole. When he needs to make Gertrude listen to him - make her take the Ophelia problem seriously - he talks about how her ravings are going to sew social unrest, that people are going to listen to her and hear what they want to hear. And at the end, he completely takes the reins from Fortinbras. Get me up on a stage, let me talk to the people, I know exactly hoe to calm them all down. Horatio’s got the courtier secondary.

He’s got such a correct and such an elegant mask (“custom hath made it in him a habit of easiness”) that I do think there’s a strict Badger performance in there as well. But nothing underneath it except more Badger. I don’t see him use the skills of any other secondary, and it’s Badger that he falls back on when he’s under pressure.

Horatio grounds Hamlet with his combination of solid Snake primary and solid Badger secondary. The prince is so much more stable and leveled out when he’s in a room with Horatio. It’s also very funny that Snake Badger has been identified as the love interest sorting, and like - well - I see it. 

tl;dr

Hamlet - Bird primary / Lion secondary, unhealthy Snake and Bird models

Horatio - Snake primary / Badger secondary, Badger performance

[armorsleevedsinglehit]

the huge shippuden music meta

no one asked for this but i’m gonna write it anyway. i’m going to focus primarily on the shippuden soundtrack here, but expect some references to the original series soundtrack as well. also before i begin i know approximately two (2) music so some of my terminology is probably going to be incorrect lol, it’s been a while since college. this is a general shippuden meta but it does focus on the uchiha clan, in particular sasuke and madara.

anyway, to start off, you can pretty easily divide the shippuden soundtrack into a few general categories:

traditional and/or acoustic

electric guitar tracks

some combination of these, plus orchestra hits aplenty

there are a few odd ducks here and there, but no worries, we’ll get to them. and then within these general categories we have a series of recurring character motifs (which can be a bit muddled, because certain themes are used for multiple characters. i assume that naruto (the show) isn’t necessarily scored the way a film would be, and so the directors just slapped whatever dramatic/sad/upbeat music they could find onto a scene, esp if it’s a filler ep, which definitely generates some confusion.) but characters and groups in shippuden DO sort of get their own motifs and themes, so here is my very basic list of those as well:

uzumaki clan and its descendants/allies: “emergence of talents/hyakkaryōran” has a very cool melody towards the end that comes back in “narukami/weeping god” and “shoryu/rising dragon”. we can basically call this the protagonist theme. naruto, sakura, kakashi, jiraiya, most of the konoha 11, and even minato get to claim this one. however, VERY interestingly, narukami is what plays when tobi (as madara) is telling sasuke about the glory days of the uchiha clan... possibly hinting at greater connections between the two clans???????????

akatsuki-related themes: i won’t link a ton of these because they’re super obvious. they’re often full of choir and organ (harkening back to orochimaru’s original series theme); they also tend to be slower. not always, though; look at crimson flames, a slapper if i ever heard one. prime example of akatsuki themes: girei, my FAVORITE bit of the shippuden soundtrack. UGH.

general shippuden themes: things like hurricane suite, heaven-shaking event, etc. most of the first ost goes in here. this category also contains the closest approximation to hashirama’s theme that i could find, experienced many battles and departure to the front lines, which both make me cry lol

there are other fun little motifs and bits and bobs that appear in this soundtrack that i won’t get into here for length (remind me to talk about the angelic herald of death sometime), but it’s a remarkably cohesive piece of work to the point where it gets repetitive sometimes; why are all the super interesting tracks unreleased!!!!??? anyway the purpose of this meta is to attempt to make sense of the way this soundtrack works. we’ll investigate sasuke primarily because i feel that he really ties the whole soundtrack together, and you can extrapolate a lot from the way his theme evolves.

sasuke’s theme (wandering/hyouhaku), yes the dramatic cowboy music theme, is this wonderfully atmospheric track that makes use of the kind of negative space between guitar strums to build up this aura, this Essence of Sasuke. this alone makes it stand apart from other mostly-acoustic pieces on the soundtrack, to me. the whole thing is just humming with this simmering frustration and melancholy and it really gives you a sense of sasuke as this tortured figure who has been severely wronged and experienced the world’s faults firsthand. notably, this version of sasuke’s theme lifts its opening notes (and structure, sorta) from sasuke’s original series theme, which i assume was on purpose. it shows that he’s grown jaded as he got older, i think.

anyway, as the inevitable battle between sasuke and itachi draws closer, we get our first variation on sasuke’s theme: black spot/kokuten. it has the same melody and structure as before, but features heavier guitars, more orchestration, and, in the final bars, notes that previously fell on 1 and 4 but now fall on 1 and 3, which bring a heightened sense of urgency to the whole thing. and more importantly, it ends without resolving itself? it leaves us hanging on this almost call-and-response bit with one wailing guitar after another, before winding the orchestration down and fizzling back down to the level of “wandering.” here we see a sasuke in progress, if you will, working towards a goal that some may find sinister, but he is determined if nothing else, and the instruments match his fervor. it’s roughly analogous to “crimson flames” in terms of intensity, but it’s very distinctly Sasuke.

there are several more variations of sasuke’s theme floating around, but the next one i want to talk about is this one called “sasuke’s ninja way,” apparently, never officially released but relentlessly employed by the anime directors. it takes a more subtle turn than “black spot,” but i don’t see it as a direct sequel to “wandering” for a few different reasons. i think it represents the dilemma sasuke found himself after finally killing itachi and learning the truth about him: the realization that this whole quest for power of his was never really about revenge on one specific person, but rather about reforming the shinobi world as a whole. it’s slower than “black spot,” yet darker, more ominous; it treads the same general path as “wandering” but with added electric guitar, and, notably, choir. recall that choir is often used for themes related to the akatsuki, which i think ties in neatly with sasuke’s motivations at this point. he, like nagato before him, wants to remake the world.

the final iteration of sasuke’s theme, “sasuke’s revolution/junkyousha,” brings it all together. the akatsuki is commonly represented through choir and organ, and this theme starts out with both of these cranked up to the max. this is (pardon the pun) sasuke’s rebirth, if you will. just combine the intensity of “girei,” the anger of “crimson flames,” and the determination of “emergence of talents” and you’re there. seriously: this culmination of sasuke’s character development basically pulls from every single facet of the soundtrack and produces this MASSIVELY rich piece full of anger and rage and hate and fury, while STILL managing to include the twangy guitar bits from “wandering” (which have gone back to 1 and 4!!). we also have someone going ham on a shamisen towards the end of the track, which calls to mind the shamisen solo from “emergence of talents” and other tracks. hinting at an eventual compromise with naruto, possibly?

anyway, i started out this meta trying to find a piece of the soundtrack that could serve as madara’s theme, but i wasn’t sure that one existed. i think the susano’o has a theme, and the uchiha clan has a theme, but....madara just doesn’t?? sure there are unreleased tracks like “legendary uchiha,” but i’d argue that doesn’t really go into his character as much as it just says “watch out for this fucking guy.”

but then i listened to hurricane suite one more time, and i was like HOLY SHIT THIS IS IT. for one thing, it’s long as fuck: this track is a whole journey. it really gives the impression of someone who has lived an impossibly long life and become jaded and cruel and hardened. i realize that the argument could be made that hurricane suite is sasuke’s theme, not madara’s, or that it’s a general shippuden theme and doesn’t represent one character in particular. and yes, i think both of these interpretations are correct. hurricane suite represents what sasuke could POTENTIALLY turn out to be, given his evolution from “wandering” to “black spot” to “sasuke’s ninja way” all the way to “sasuke’s revolution.” hurricane suite warns us that sasuke can (and very well may!) make the same mistakes madara did and end up destroying himself in the process. (the middle of “hurricane suite” GREATLY resembles “wandering.”) and recall that hurricane suite is used in the very first episode of shippuden: the episode where naruto encounters sasuke for the first time, AND- are you ready for this- when madara’s name is dropped for the first time in the series.

this is why i think that, along with it being a general shippuden theme, hurricane suite is also madara’s theme. shippuden as a whole is practically suffocating under the oppressive weight of madara’s presence, right from the very first episode. even before he’s introduced, he is VERY much there. so much of madara’s character is established before he even shows up. we hear so much about him from other characters (kurama, itachi, obito, hashirama), and as such our view of madara changes drastically over the course of the series. and guess what plays when itachi shows sasuke that genjutsu of madara stealing izuna’s eyes?

anyway, in my opinion and in my interpretation of the character, the music fits him perfectly. it starts out all low and choral with these slow ominous drums and deep strings, and this violin comes in that sounds like it’s weeping. we hear something like a heartbeat that grows darker over time, before the music comes to some sort of resolution, an inflection point, and the brass comes in heavy. NOW we’re dealing with the orchestra, three quarters of the way into the song, and we’ve got strings and drums set to a marching pace, more choral chanting, climbing strings and shamisen tumbling down the scales. it sounds like grief!!

and note that yes, this track is used in the very first episode of shippuden, during naruto and sasuke’s first encounter. but it is ALSO used during the scene in hashirama’s flashback when izuna is mortally wounded and madara makes the decision to abandon the clan on the battlefield to take care of him, despite his better judgment and hashirama’s offering of peace. the inflection point in the music represents a very real inflection point in madara’s life: the loss of his last brother. (it always comes back to that, doesn’t it.)

[adinosaurnamedmittens]

Alright so I can’t stop thinking of RVB Zero and how much potential it has so I wanna rework it a bit to work better.

So first I’m gonna talk about the new characters and what I’d change before breaking down the individual episodes for critique and suggested rewrites. At this point, I’ve only seen up to episode 4, Encounter. So spoilers till that ep. 

West - Honestly great! He doesn’t have a ton of character, but what he has is solid. He works very well as the gruff, no-nonsense leader who’s a tiny bit of a dad.

Raymond - Also great! He’s the most classic RVB character, as he’s an underdog who’s not the best at fighting, but has a lot of heart. My fav new character, right next to Tiny.

One - I want to change her to 2nd in command and drop the whole “can’t work within a team” thing. Keep the confidence and slight rudeness, but drop all the lines referencing anti-teamwork. It hasn’t factored into the story so far, One has been successfully working as part of the team for all the episodes. This would make her dynamic with Axel more interesting, being in a higher position of power. Especially considering how her healthy relationship with her dad contrasts with East and West’s relationship. This would reinforce the tension with East, since One now has an actual position of power over her. Also, she should have the exact same powers as Zero, but maybe less powerful. This would help foreshadow that reveal, and help us understand how the enhancements work. While One is a bit of a shit, and thinks she knows best, she’s willing to take the fall when her ideas fail or get them in trouble.

Axel - Imma be honest: totally forgot he was One’s adopted dad until I rewatched the episodes prepping for this. You could drop it totally, as it gets a bit redundant with West and East’s relationship, but I think there’s more fun in working with it. Also, if One’s 2nd in command and Axel isn’t insecure about it at all? Instantly makes him a more likable guy. I also think he parallels to Wash very well (bit of a kid at heart, weapons guy, team dad, emotional heart) so we’re gonna expand on that too.

East - Her and One’s relationship is the driving force of conflict within the strike team. With the changes made to One, East can stay pretty much unchanged. Before they were too similar. Now, with One being abrasive but willing to work together, and East being more reserved and distant, they’re great foils for each other. Also she parallels early Carolina, which I love (speed is her ability, prefers working alone, competitive as hell, dad runs team)

Villains: On characterization, they’re all good! Villains are allowed to be a bit more shallow, and they all seem to have understandable motives for what they’re doing: Zero wants revenge and power, Phase wants revenge especially against West, and Diesel just seems like he’s having fun. I do want to change Zero’s power tho, with Phase already having a teleport with a cool gimmick, and Diesel having a strength/tank ability, Zero should have a unique ability. Maybe gravity because of the sword? It would allow him some cool movement tricks while still being visually distinct from Diesel and Phase’s abilities. Or something inspired by his “ghost” line from Duo.

EP 1: Viper

The Good: The introduction to the villains and their abilities was amazing. I love Phase’s knife and it’s honestly one of the coolest things I’ve seen in the show. And the intro to the Strike team? Hilarious. Great character work. You can tell that One and Axel are close, that Raymond is hesitant and new, East and One have a very competitive relationship, and West is the tough love dad.

The Bad: Don’t violate the 180 camera rule. The intro fight scene was cool, but the camera moved way too much and made it hard to keep track of everything happening. And with the new, shiny art style we need a bit more time to absorb what’s happening since the detail level went up. Also y’all healed Wash’s brain damage with a throwaway line, and then immediately fridged him? Not cool. I mean, if you wanted to show how tough the villains are, you already had them beat up Carolina.

Story Changes: - Zero gets name dropped this ep so we get a scene next ep where Axel recognizes his name. - Either replace Wash with a high ranking soldier and completely scrub him from the episode, or give a different reason why he can’t help, maybe exactly Carolina’s reason of “you’re recovering”. I’m not committing to totally removing Wash bc in Recovery Carolina’s line of “That I-that we thought was a medium risk asset” hints that Wash knew exactly what they were carrying and I’m excited to see where they take that. - Mainly I want scenes of Wash talking to Axel and expanding on his characterization as they are both Nice Boys Who Have Been Through It. - I also think a scene after we meet Strike where Axel asks Raymond “You like riding with East?” and Ray goes “You two stuck me with her on purpose!” and One goes “Yup!” all cheerfully. Just reinforce those team dynamics and friendships before it goes to shit!

EP 2: Recovery

The Good: The garage scene was perfect. Tiny is amazing, love her so much! And Axel got such great characterization during this ep. What a dork. West and Raymond also work super well together, their interactions are great.

The Bad:You know it’s a problem when the villains have a better dynamic than the heroes. The scene where Carolina explains all the strike member’s abilities and personalities? Bad. Also a little OOC for her. And redundant, since we also get Raymond asking West about East, and Axel’s explanation of the girls to Carolina.

Story Changes: - Have Axel, the emotional heart, waiting outside the recovery room for Carolina. Honestly, this isn’t that big, but I think it’d suit his character. - Carolina’s exposition is changed to solely history and abilities, no commenting on their personalities. Maybe East gets a little “has shown difficulty in working with others” but that’s it. The physical acting for these scenes really shines through, so let it stand alone. Even watching without sound, you can pick up that West is a no-nonsense leader, that Axel isn’t a flashy fighter but gets the job done, that East is fairly young and doesn’t take fighting seriously, and that One is willing to leave others behind if she thinks she can do it better. - For Carolina’s convo with One this ep about her “not willing to work on a team” either swap One with East or change it to “you need to listen to your team more. Don’t assume that you immediately now what’s best” - At the end of training, when Axel says “the guards were priority #1″ One should say “I knew you could handle it.” and Axel could respond with “Well, it’d be nice if you let me know that.” to show that One can work well as 2nd in command, but needs to communicate and stop assuming things. -Also should change Axel’s warning line about her enhancements to “Don’t push yourself. Remember what happened last time?” to enforce that this is a habit, and that while he cares about her, he’s not trying to boss her around as much. -Don’t reveal that East is West’s daughter until Raymond and West talk. That way, there’s a bit more emotional weight, and Ray’s line of “I was digging through the team files” makes more sense if Carolina doesn’t drop that info in the previous scene. - When Axel talks about the experiments East went through, he should mention that he was there for some of them. Dropping more foreshadowing for the Axel/Zero reveal! - Carolina drops Zero’s name in their convo, and we get a shot of Axel’s hand tightening on his weapon, showing the audience that the name means something to him, but we don’t know why.

EP 3: Duo

The Good: First 3rd of the ep? Really good. I love One being rude to Carolina, and then gaining a grudging respect. West and Raymond are, again, the best dynamic. How? I honestly have no idea. The car looks so stupid in the funniest way, I hate it but I love it. Also god yes Axel and Zero’s relationship is so wholesome and could be the best thing in this season. One’s warning call to the facility? The funniest shit. And Zero’s dialogue is hella cliched, but it works bc he’s obv such a dramatic bitch.

The Bad: HOLY HELL THE DIALOGUE. First, One and East’s fight? garbage. Very forced. Super hard to believe these two are real people. Carolina and West literally repeat the exact same line, less than 5 seconds apart. The dishwasher joke West makes does NOT at all work, it’s too tonally dissonant.

Story Changes: - Obv. need to change One and East’s convo. End it with “Without your power, you wouldn’t even be on this team!” East should storm off or almost attack One, requiring Axel to diffuse. - It’d also be really nice to get a line where One acknowledges that she went too far with that, but puts off apologizing to East. It’d be a nod that she’s good at reflecting and assessing, but too proud to actually take her words back. - I’d like to make Raymond more panicked when they find Wash. It’d help sell that he’s in bad shape and add more weight to “He’s got a heartbeat!” - Maybe re-work Phase and Zero’s conversation a bit. The dialogue is definitely not this season’s strong suit. - Pull Carolina’s “I’m just trying to help, East.” since it’s more impactful for East to storm off immediately and West says the line a couple seconds later. And change East’s dialogue to “You may be my CO, but don’t try to be my dad. Not after what you’ve done.” Or something similar. - For the dishwasher gag in the meeting, either pull it or double down. It’d work so much better if someone asks “Are you serious about this? Aren’t there more important things to discuss?” and West just deadpans. “This is of the upmost importance. If we can’t keep this base clean, how can we be expected to do anything else?!” and then Carolina clears her throat super loud and West goes “...Right. Rookie? Take it from here.” - Rework the “Carolina stay behind” dialogue. Even just a “Carolina. You’re still recovering. If you get hurt again, it’ll just be longer till you can take these bastards down. Keep an eye on Wash, will you?” I just couldn’t get behind the wording of “we need you here. With wash” It sounds like every cliched “woman must stay behind while the manly men save everyone!” Might be personal preference but just ew. - Add a scene where One notices Axel being a bit off (bc he’s worried about Zero being a part of the bad guy team) and she asks if he’s okay. He brushes her off, says its nothing. She goes “alright, i trust you.” - Maybe make the flashback a bit more apparent? There was a moment in the middle where I questioned whether or not it was a flashback. Again, could be a me problem.

EP 4: Encounter

The Good: The fight scenes continue to be absolute standouts. The varied environments, the movement, the dynamics on point. Wish we could’ve saw a bit more from Axel, but as is the scene worked well. The framing of the ep was good too, cutting between the mission and the fallout. And Ray, resident coward, immediately squaring up without a thought after West got injured? *chef’s kiss*. THAT is good character development. THAT is an amazing way to establish their relationship without telling us outright. Go feral, my boy! And Tiny and Raymond’s convo was so cute. I love how, despite what he says, Ray is there for his team and always willing to help. Carolina and One’s convo was also pretty decent. It got a bit long and over-explainy on Carolina’s end, but there were some pretty good moments.

The Bad: The fight after the mission failure was SO over-acted. Too much motion, to many camera angles. It changed what should have been tense arguments to hilarious melodrama. This has been a consistent problem, but it REALLY affects this scene in particular. And the second Axel enters the scene it just immediately goes downhill.

Story Changes: - Add a line from West in the beginning scene like “I’ll cut them off!” to explain why he isn’t in the car too. This also means it’s not as out-of-nowhere when West shows up to trash the car. - One should call out Axel instead of East. If she’s his daughter, she should be able to tell when he’s acting off. And she would have an easier time connecting the dots between Axel and Zero. - Instead of “I trusted you.” One should say “You lied to me.” 1) He’s her dad. One lie isn’t gonna break her total trust. 2) This would imply it’s the first time he’s lied to her, adding more weight to the whole situation 3) It’s way more accusatory and less cliched (if only a bit) - Add in a “One, wait!” bc I am a sucker for it and we could hear the guilt in his voice, rather than the weird scene where the girls make him spin around by bumping into him. - It’d also be nice if Ray stayed back for a bit before leaving, so we got a bit of his feelings on the matter. I mean, obviously he cares a lot about West, but does he blame Axel for not being there to help? It’d be nice to know!

TL;DR The best parts of the episodes are the fight scenes, and when they focus on the fun team dynamics. The worst parts are dialogue (mostly the serious bits) and over-animating, as this takes away from the drama.

I don’t mind the cheesy villains, but that may not be the case for everyone.

The best part of RVB has always been the rag-tag found family dynamics. While the fight scenes are cool, they have always been supplemental to the real meat of the show. The writers are trying something new with the whole “actual family” but you have got to focus on and develop these relationships if you want fans to care.

Mostly, I see a lot of potential in these characters, but there are GLARING issues in this season that are holding them back.

[darkpoisonouslove]

Please dont hate me.

Griffin and Valtor and all the questions. :)

Okay, but just because you asked nicely... Kidding, of course. XD I don’t hate you. I just hope any of this will make sense.

1. Who is the most affectionate?

Valtor, actually. It takes Griffin a while until she can fall into being cuddly with someone but she is surprised by how open Valtor is to physical proximity. He’s also the one that is more about compliments.

2. Big spoon/Little spoon?

Valtor is normally the big spoon which Griffin was a bit irate about at first because she is a lighter sleeper and, therefore, more likely to be getting up or moving around. She thought it would make more sense for her to be the big spoon but Valtor wanted to be the one holding her and she relented. She actually liked it a lot more than she expected to even if it took some getting used to.

3. Most common argument?

Bathroom dominion. They. Just. Cannot. Reason. About. It. They both take forever when getting ready and it is hell. Especially if they are going undercover to an official event. You do not want to be around.

4. Favorite non-sexual activity?

Playing chess. They can’t help it. They are competitive and love messing with each other which is done through an array of side bets and whatnot. But they have a good time. Mostly.

5. Who is most likely to carry the other?

Valtor. He is dramatic romantic like that. Griffin pretends to be annoyed by it... badly. She totally loves it. Even if it does make her think about things that might be impossible.

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

I feel like I might have answered that somewhere so excuse any mismatches in case I don’t remember my own headcanons.

(I am pretty sure I said Griffin’s favorite thing about Valtor is his voice but that is not a feature so I guess the inconsistencies have been prevented on merit of that alone.) Griffin might be a little fixated on Valtor’s hands bc of the fact that he only really takes his gloves off with her (and his skin is super soft). Also, the contrast between the destruction he can wreak with his magic and the tenderness of his touch on her skin.

I also think that I said Valtor’s favorite part of Griffin is her neck. Does that count as a feature? Well, it does now. He loves how delicate and sensitive her neck is. Griffin can’t pull him away from there when he starts kissing it, and biting it because it’s Valtor. He loves to leave marks there and listen to the sounds she makes while he’s doing it.

7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Valtor experiences selflessness for the first time. Or what is a weird mix of selflessness and selfishness because he does not necessarily expect anything in return when he does what is best for her but he still hopes that that will help their relationship develop. He’s not at all sure how to react to it. All he knows is that making her smile makes his day even if he has to endure some more bitching from his mothers because of what he did for Griffin.

What actually changes for Griffin is that she finally allows herself sexual fantasies about Valtor. She had noticed his attractiveness before but she wasn’t interested in getting involved with him. However, after they started getting to know each other and some emotional barriers got down, she found herself growing fonder of him. By the time she realized she liked him, pretty much everything else had changed.

8. Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

Valtor does call her bookworm which is pretty obvious and generic. But other than that they don’t really have nicknames for each other.

9. Who worries the most?

They both worry. A lot. Griffin worries more openly, though, while Valtor will pretend he’s not worried but will keep looking for excuses to be close to her and touching her.

10. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

Griffin. Valtor tries his best but he has so many things on his head. He is in awe of how Griffin always manages to remember everything. She claims it is because she isn’t forced to do it but chooses to do so on her own.

11. Who tops?

Usually Valtor but that’s because Griffin lets him. He is happy to bottom if she feels like it even if the first time he might have needed a little convincing. He was grateful for having the insight to leave her in charge.

12. Who initiates kisses?

Valtor does that a lot. He will use any and all opportunities. Hell, even if the time is not right, he would still do it. He loves to kiss her and Griffin has learned that. She has no problem with it as long as it isn’t a really inopportune time.

13. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

Valtor. He likes holding her closer, even if it is just her hand in his. Besides, he is busy a big portion of the time and can’t do it so he needs to compensate for that whenever he has the opportunity.

14. Who kisses the hardest?

Griffin has surprised him. And here he thought he was passionate. Griffin has it in her to surpass him. Not always but she does kiss very hard when she gets really into it.

15. Who wakes up first?

Griffin. She is the early bird. She is generally more excited about getting started on her day. Valtor isn’t too happy about having to bust himself because of his mothers yet again.

16. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Valtor. He could sleep all day if he had the free time for that kind of thing. It is honestly kind of a dream. Especially if Griffin is also there. He can feel her presence even when he’s asleep and it always makes everything better,

17. Who says I love you first?

Griffin does. Not because Valtor is scared to tell her how he feels (even though he is that too). He just doesn’t want to pressure her into saying it back if she isn’t ready (or doesn’t feel the same). He is kinda torn on whether he is actually being selfless or too scared to even admit that he is selfishly waiting for her to make the first move but considering the fact that she seems more secure in their relationship, he decides to trust his own motives.

18. Who leaves little notes in the other’s lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)

That would be Griffin. It is probably something only Valtor will get that is sure to cheer him up despite it most likely being sassy/sarcastic.

19. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

Griffin by virtue of Valtor not wanting to say anything and not being given the chance either. His mothers just know. Even though he would’ve liked to have kept it a secret. That’s not an option in the world in which he lives. Griffin does tell her mom even if she has cut contact with her friends.

20. What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

Valtor’s mothers aren’t enchanted by the idea but they allow it on condition it won’t get in the way of Griffin and Valtor’s work. They pretty much use it as a way to pressure Valtor into doing even more than before. Emalyn isn’t thrilled either. Though, to be fair, she wasn’t thrilled by Griffin joining the Coven at all. She can see that Griffin is happy which is what makes her keep her thoughts to herself but she is worried about everything that can go wrong, including what will happen if Griffin and Valtor break up. She is worried Griffin may not be safe in that case.

21. Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

Griffin would. Valtor will try to protest before he realizes that they are just swaying around and he isn’t expected to perform some elaborate ceremonial dances. He relaxes and lets her drag him fully into it, They have a great time.

22. Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

Griffin, obviously. She does make use of Valtor’s Dragon Fire but that is the way in which he can be more useful in the kitchen aside from tasting whatever she’s cooked. He isn’t all that great despite being sensitive to smells and tastes.

23. Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

Valtor all the way. He does not know when to stop. Luckily, Griffin finds him adorable which might be why he hasn’t collided with the finish line yet.

24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

Both of them do it, actually. They both know when the situation needs their full focus but they are also not above messing with each other. And of course, that requires revenge which results in more revenge and they just end up stuck in a loop. Not that they are complaining about it. Not really.

25. Who needs more assurance?

Valtor. Griffin can see how much she means to him once they actually get together and open up to each other. Valtor has a lot of insecurities, though, despite his confident facade and can always use some more reassurance even if everything is okay at the moment.

26. What would be their theme song?

As a couple? Young God by Halsey. It just fits them so well! Though, that is more a commentary on their full story during the war. If it is something they would pick in-verse, then idk. Maybe Powerful by Major Lazer and Ellie Goulding.

27. Who would sing their child back to sleep?

They would both do it together. Griffin would have to teach Valtor all the lullabies he knows but he’d make sure to learn them.

28. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

 Valtor forces himself to keep going about his day. He doesn’t have the time to sit around and wait for her return anyway. And work keeps him occupied but the moment he has an ounce of free time, his thoughts immediately drift to her.

Griffin tries working as well or reading a book but sometimes that’s not enough and she finds herself wondering how he’s doing and even worrying. She might go on a mission herself to keep herself occupied - pick out some herbs or hunt down a recipe she’s never come across before.

29. One headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

All of them. Seriously, everything I come up with about them is heartbreaking. But here goes. The only thing Valtor doesn’t know about Griffin (prior to the seventeen years he was imprisoned) is that she was pregnant when she ran away from the Coven.

30. One headcanon about this OTP that mends it

I... am not sure I have any of these. I just love angst and heartbreak. Idk how well this fits but... Valtor did eventually come to appreciate the fact that Griffin was the only one who ever loved him. Even if she did leave. He can see how different their relations were from anything else he’s ever had with anyone and it did make him realize that she did truly love him despite everything.

[sanjuno]

how do you reckon things would change if Obito and Kakashi remembered their past lives as Izuna and Kanna? (And have you given a past incarnation of Rin in the Warring Era?)

… @deverickracoma you mean, like in canon? Huhhhh…

Well first off before Rin was Nohara Rin she was Senju Touka. Which makes this situation super fun because both Izuna and Kanna died before Hashirama strong armed Konoha into existence and Touka only went along with it because Her Stupid Little Cousins Need Some Common Sense. XP

In her lives as both as Touka and as Rin she holds the single (1) braincell for this Disaster Trio.

So Izuna dies via Tobirama’s sword. And then Kanna kinda… revenge rampages with Madara until the critical angst threshold is reached as Kanna just… explodes both theirself and the battlefield. 

There’s a whole lot of background stuff behind the suicide run such as Kanna’s Hatake side suffering from mate-loss depression and their Uchiha side suffering from Makengyou Madness and also Really Bad post-partum depression compounding it and yeah. Unfortunately Madara is just as wrecked from Izuna’s death so he can’t really support Kanna and it all goes to shit because we all know canon is a shitshow.

But anyway Touka is there to see Izuna die and she is well aware that Tobirama has just made a horrible decision driven by unacknowledged jealously and overzealous paranoia. Then Touka barely manages to save Tobirama’s pasty ass from the screaming revenge demon that she later learns was Izuna’s wife. And then Touka stands witness as Hashirama forces peace at sword point.

So Touka is just there like, “Oh for fucks sake we’re all going to die horribly.”

And, of course, Touka was right everything is horrible and everything hurts. 

Only now it’s plot-twist time and Touka, who was investigating certain questionable sources about the ongoing breakdown of social order in Konoha gets killed by Zetsu in order to cause even more tension against the Uchiha in Konoha and hey guess what? Yeah, that’s right Rin remembers the creepy plant-demon thing gloating about stealing Uchiha Madara (aka the only one vaguely strong enough to combat Kaguya at that time given he had naturally manifested the Rinnegan) for his own use before Zetsu killed her in a suspiciously ambiguous manner.

Shit.

Fuck.

Four year old Nohara Rin has a vendetta and the ability to kill a grown man. 

So obviously given that the Plant Demon is trying to kill off the Uchiha using shadowy assassinations and rumour mongering the Plant Demon is afraid of the Uchiha. Ergo the Uchiha are a threat to the Plant Demon otherwise it would confront the Uchiha more openly.

So.

Rin therefore needs to make super-duper ride-or-die best friends forever with at least one (1) Uchiha. And then, on the first day at the Academy, Rin runs into an absolute dork wearing Madara’s face.

Ah. Says Rin, channelling canon!Madara. That One. That’s The One I Need For My Plan To Succeed.

Cue the Rin and Obito Bonding Moment ™ that will repeat as a flashback every time their history is at any point mentioned in the narrative.

As for Obito, well… when he was Izuna he loved his Clan but then when he was reborn he read the Clan Histories from after his death and the public history of Konoha and Obito knows his Clan are a bunch of fucking traitors who stabbed his big brother in the back and that’s why Obito is both disgusted by the Uchiha and overprotective of the Clan’s reputation because Madara still loved their Clan even after they turned on him.

I may include Obito unearthing Madara’s private journals from a hidden cubby in the Naka Shrine that only Izuna would have known to look for. Just for the sake of an extra knife and also so that Obito can find proof of Zetsu’s sabotaging his brother’s mental health. 

Obito is more than a little weepy and sentimental over the fact that Madara honoured Izuna’s last request to the point Madara destroyed himself and his connection to the Clan. Obito can’t blame Madara for giving in when Hashirama forced peace to try and protect the few loyal Clan members who remained. Obito decides to protect Konoha and the Uchiha because he won’t let Madara’s last wish go unfulfilled but he’s going to become the fucking Hokage and tear out all the Senju-inflicted rot infecting his Big Brother’s Dream.

Obito is openly disdainful of the Clan Elders and the only people he even vaguely respects is the Head Family. Mostly because Mikoto is descended from Izuna’s daughter and even though Izayoi married “Tobirama’s student Kagami” she was still his baby girl and Mikoto is his great-grand daughter and he loves her because she’s his family.

Mikoto, Obito, and Shisui are all descendants of Kagami and Izayoi’s kids so they’re second-third cousins. Obito spends a lot of time pondering the overlap of self-care and I-love-my-grandbabies. It’s a fun little exercise in existentialism.

In the meantime Kakashi is still a little shit-disturber of the highest order. Kanna was taught all the fun Uchiha Clan Skills as Izuna’s wife and now Kakashi has learned all the fun Hatake Clan Skills from Sakumo and the little bastard is even more terrifying than canon. Kakashi is more gender-fluid than agender the way Kanna was though which is a fun new flavour of dysphoria-through-reincarnation that I’ll probably enjoy exploring.

Now, this does mean that Kakashi starts wearing his mask before Sakumo gets scapegoated which is a minor yet still significant change from Kakashi’s canon characterization-and-motivations.

So Kakashi blitzes their way through the Academy in like, 6 months because Kakashi has negative chill and an understandably paranoid focus on keeping their dad alive this time around. The only people Kakashi respects are the Military Police and their Dad everyone else can perish. Minato is A Constant Despair because he cannot control this sassy hell child Sakumo-sempai pls tell your son to l i s t e n t o m e.

Sakumo-sempai goes “LOL nope” because Sakumo is also a troll but is better at hiding it than Kakashi is.

So Rin and Obito are BFFs then Kakashi rips through their class like ground lightning and the sparring scene happens but the kickback of Uchiha-memories manifesting as body action means the spar is a familiar dance and so Obito is like “OMG K a n n a” and cue Obito stalking Kakashi like a schoolgirl with an obsessive crush and no concept of personal boundaries.

Enough shenanigans occur to 1. make Team Minato a cohesive and functional thing instead of a train wreck, and 2. keep Sakumo alive because Kakashi recognizes their Dad’s suicidal tendencies for what they are and so they set their ninken up as watchdogs to make sure Sakumo doesn’t do anything stupid. Because Kakashi’s biggest regret is leaving Madara and Izayoi to suffer grief without them and they refuse to let that sort of despair take away anyone they care about again.

So now Team Minato is bonding, and they are friends, and they are all slowly coming to the realization that they all remember their previous lives. So they start to share information and gradually piece together where Zetsu’s influence has been applied as they try to figure out what the Plant Demon’s endgame is.

Which means that Team Minato is 100% more paranoid about mission intelligence than they were in canon and also Rin more than ready to gut the Iwa-nin who tries to kidnap her during the Kannabi Bridge Mission so that’s fun. Team Minato has also made a point system for rooting out moles, spies, and traitors to hand over to T&I. 

Sarutobi had a lovely headache when the knowledge that Sakumo’s mission had been sabotaged “accidentally” got leaked. (Kakashi had given the old man more than enough time to fix the rumour mill so it’s on Sarutobi’s own head that he didn’t take action before Kakashi did.)

Also Team Chaos Gremlins Minato manages to charm Orochimaru over to their camp via one of Obito’s rage fuelled rants about dismantling the hypocritical indoctrination of the institutionalized status quo. Specifically, the fact that the Hokage is supposed to be a public service position voted on by the people who only really has complete executive power during war time. Instead of a unilateral dictator chosen by the previous Hokage’s undisguised bias and favouritism.

Also because they’re all proof of the reincarnation cycle existing. Orochimaru is living his best life especially when Team Minato trash talks the other two Sannin. 

Rin is the Most Offended by Tsunade fucking off and abandoning her responsibilities. Tsunade basically inherited all of Hashirama’s worst traits without any obvious redeeming qualities to balance it out. Because, let’s be honest, the only reason Hashirama got any level of respect is because he was Over Powered to the point of ridiculousness and because Tobirama plus Mito were in charge of his public image.

Kakashi and Obito are both hyper-loyal so having Jiraiya decide to just not come back during wartime and for Tsunade to abandon her responsibilities as a healer and Clan Head has destroyed any possible respect they might have had.

Obviously Orochimaru is the best Sannin so he’s the one they’re going to make friends with. Also they drag Orochimaru back to the Hatake Clan House to commiserate with Sakumo about being the target of a Village wide smear campaign. Which strengthens both Orochimaru and Sakumo’s spirits enough to resist their Bad Endings from canon.

All of this basically allows Team Minato to have the leverage to track down Zetsu’s creeper cave and they find Madara trapped and blinded and leashed to the Gedo Mezo, and Obito nearly has a world-destroying breakdown. Rin stands guard while Obito and Kakashi have a tearful reunion with Madara and there’s a lot of dramatic apologizing and sobbing.

They all know that they can’t leave Madara here with Zetsu, but detaching him means he’s going to die. Eventually Madara makes the decision himself to break the connection because he refuses to be used as a hostage against his little brother. So Madara tells Obito where his eyes are (which means that the Ame trio are going to get kidnapped by Team Minato eventually) plus a run-down of all the subversive plots Zetsu has had a hand in, and then Madara outright smashes the statue.

Normally nothing would be able to destroy the Gedo Mezo given that it’s basically the fossilized corpse of a god but Madara is currently part of it which means that the statue’s defences don’t realize Madara is a threat. So, statue goes boom, the cave starts to collapse, and Team Minato runs away with Madara’s body so they can give him a respectful burial.

Zetsu has approximately ten thousand aneurysms in the space of one (1) second.

From here the kickback really starts to pile up because Obito now makes a habit of dropping in on newborn Uchiha to check and see if Madara’s been reborn yet. Which means that Sasuke has a really invested older cousin hanging around to take Itachi’s place when Itachi make dumb decisions.

Rin is grumpy because basically every Clan who joined Konoha had a bunch of Senju marry into their Clan so finding Hashirama’s reincarnation is basically impossible. (And then, of course, Naruto is born and Rin faceplams 1000 times because of fucking course.)

Kakashi is laughing at both of them. Right up until they take command of Team 7 and notice a hated familiar chakra under the skin of a pink haired little girl. (All three members of Team Minato nearly die laughing because Tobirama is a pink haired little girly girl heeeeee~)

Anyway aside from all the family drama Team Minato also manages to dispose of Danzo and exposes his “plot against the Hokage”, boosting Sakumo’s public image to the point he gets named as the Fourth, fixing the stigma Orochimaru faced despite being the only loyal member of the Sannin, and basically terrorizing Konoha with Political Activism.

Zetsu probably goes a bit around the bend thanks the Team Minato destroying all his hopes and dreams plans. Also they keep putting the pressure on and exposing Zetsu’s schemes and eventually that gains enough momentum that the other Villages are taking a good hard look at shit that’s going down and hey wait w h a t t h e f u c k …

Obito eventually takes over as the Fifth Hokage and tears apart the corrupt government systems like a Tasmanian Devil going through a rotting carcass because Big Brother’s Dream Will Become A Reality B E L I E V E I T !

The End. XP

[nobody-wants-ice-cream]

Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 8, I Heard a Rumor.

This episode is particularly brutal. Warnings include child abuse, domestic abuse, suicide, rape, gore, and manipulation. Keep yourself safe.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

Run Boy Run

Extra Ordinary

Man on the Moon

Number Five

The Day That Wasn’t

The Day That Was

Disclaimer: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

I would also like to add that normally you wouldn’t watch a show this way. I am purposefully looking for mistakes, easter eggs, and other things that we’re not supposed to notice. I am watching not with the goal of entertainment, but for analysis. So most of the things that I sin, I am seeing for the first time.

Also, no I can’t do better. I am in no way qualified to give this level of criticism about anything. I am not taking this seriously. At all. 

I Heard a Rumor

Stormy Weather by Etta James. I adore this song. When I first watched the show I was so happy when this song came on.-1

I am also taking a sin off for the Emmy Raver-Lampman version -1

It looks like Allison genuinely adores her daughter. And Claire’s bedroom? I would want to have that room now and I am at least ten years older than her. -1

Speaking of, how old is Claire? Sin until we have answers. +1

The animations for the story of The Umbrella Academy defeating the robbers at the museum. -2

“While your Uncle Klaus got a little distracted.” What did Klaus do on missions again? +1

Allison carefully censors the mission so she is still telling the truth but doesn’t actually say that Diego used knives or that Ben used the horror to (presumably, we don’t know how much control Ben had) kill four people. Good job. See Reggie, this is how you don’t traumatise your kid with violence. -1

“Their leader.” Looks suspiciously like a villain from the comics. -1

“I wanna hear the one about the Eiffel tower.” Me too, Claire. Especially since the magazine clips we see suggest Five was there this time. -1

Mind control. ON A CHILD. This is what bothers me the most about Allison as a character and I am glad that she is moving past it. However, in no universe can I let this go. Depending on how Allison used it, Claire’s emotional control could be fucked for life. +40

Patrick behaves like a rational human being and doesn’t blow up at Allison for this in front of their child. He also divorces her in order to keep said child safe. Good. -1

“I heard a rumor you love me.” Who did she say this to? It doesn’t matter who, it’s still disturbing, but oh dear God who did she say this to? I think this is the second most fucked up thing we hear Allison say after the rumoring Claire scene. +10

Allison is going 120 kmh, or 75 mph, in the rain. If you have ever driven a car in the rain then you know exactly why I am sinning this. For those who don’t know, google hydroplaning. Allison could have died here very, very easily. +3

Title screen on a billboard! I forgot how cool the episode 8 title screen was. -1

Allison doesn’t bring her proof with her when going to confront Vanya, who has been shown to be irrational when it comes to Leonard. +1

Bird jumpscare. +1

“They want me to come back tomorrow be fitted for a prosthetic eye”. Leonard places emphasis on the words “prosthetic eye” to remind the viewers that Leonard is bad news. Good acting choice. -1

Leonard’s clothes look freshly bloody when the blood should be several hours old and therefore a more rusty brown color than a bright red. I think. I don’t know if that’s how it works with such large amounts of blood. +1

Luther’s bed is now magically big enough to fit both him and the rave girl. +1

Luther’s reaction to the rave girl. Rewatch this scene to get such a laugh at Luther’s face. -1

How out of it was Luther vs the rave girl? Consent issues on both sides. +3

Luther treated the rave girl to some wine? Or cranberry juice? How thoughtful. -1

I really, really hope they were safe though. There is no evidence to imply they were safe. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about then you’re too young to be watching TUA). +1

Klaus is such a little shit. “Wakey wakey! Eggs and bakey!” while ringing the bell. Peak sibling culture is doing this sort of thing while knowing that the other sibling is NOT going to appreciate it. Also, Klaus deserves his revenge after last night. -1

The little wave the rave girl gives Klaus. -1

Go back and watch this scene. Holy shit this is so underrated. This is the funniest thing ever. -1

“He popped his cherry! Now you’re gonna have to marry her” -4

Klaus doesn’t remember his first time. Consent issues. +3

“No dilly-dallying, alright?” I love Klaus. -1

Klaus makes french press coffee for Luther and Ben. Klaus is a good brother. -1

I would kill to see Ben’s reaction to Luther and the rave girl. +1

Five snatches Luther’s coffee and not Ben’s, ya know, the guy who can’t drink the coffee. And is invisible. Five is a dick to Luther or Five wanted to be a little shit to Luther after having to hear him and the rave girl. Either way, +1

He steals the coffee and he complains about it. +1

Ben! -1

“This is a bad idea” no shit. +1

The awkward pauses where Ben is presumably speaking don’t make sense here. +1

The camera trickery used to make Luther look like a giant compared to Five. -1

Five knows where the aspirin is “top shelf next to the crackers” because he was also hungover. I think. I can’t remember if FIve stopped back at the house, but presumably he and Luther had to go there to get the car. -1

Luther still isn’t getting up to get the aspirin even though he can listen just fine while getting it. +1

Ben adding to the dramatic tension of the scene in a uniquely humorous way that only this show can pull off. -2

Luther doesn’t believe Klaus about Reggie’s suicide. What reason would Klaus have to lie about this, Luther? +1

Five believes him right away. -1

Convenient Pogo backing up Klaus is convenient. +1

This has nothing to do with this very dramatic and important scene, but the mismatched chairs, while cute, don’t appear in any other scene. +1

Five calls Reggie a “sick bastard” under his breath. That’s one way to describe him. -1

Pogo kept this secret for a long time. Not telling the kids was a strange choice and I’m not sure why Pogo made it. On one hand, he would be respecting the wishes of his creator and friend but on the other he would be helping these people come to terms with their father’s death. Pogo’s character motivations are strange and I don’t understand them. +1

Luther said it best, “there’s always choice.” +1

Random thought I had, where was Harold’s grandmother when he was being abused and then going to jail because he killed his abuser? +1

Leonard says some nice things in this scene. If we didn’t know how manipulative he was I would give him credit for this line. +1

Agnes looks adorable out of the Griddy’s uniform. Costume/hair people, you did good. -1

Agnes keeps saying things like “we aren’t in a rush” and talking about seeing three years worth of stops to remind us that there is no time. Hazel looks heartbroken by it. -1

Allison abandons her vehicle. Do not take driving advice from The Umbrella Academy, ever! +1

Allison sees a random scarf from several cars away and immediately connects it with Vanya. Does she also have super sight? +1

The first time we see Allison get recognized by a random stranger for her acting is eight episodes in. +1

Cheddar (the cop Allison is talking to) is so enamored by Allison that he stops doing his job correctly. +1

“Jackpine cove” who named these towns? +1

Allison and Five have the same little shrug when they finish telling terrible lies. -1

Allison is a terrible liar. +1

Diego is still in jail. They’re talking about transferring him upstate. This is really bad news. +1

“Did she use that word? Contentious?” The definitions of contentious all say the word argument. Beeman says that Diego and Patch had an argumentative relationship. This matters to Diego. Why? +1

This conversation was written by someone who doesn’t understand the connotation of the word contentious. +1

Beeman encourages Diego to escape and go on the run. Are all the cops incompitent on this show? You have Patch, who hasn’t pinned Diego for obstruction of justice despite the show implying that Diego has touched evidence he wasn’t supposed to many times, Cheddar, who is so distracted by Allison freakin’ Hargreeves that he forgets that taking her along to a murder case is unethical at best, and Beeman who straight up encourages Diego to escape from jail. That last one is definitely illegal. +10

The parallel between Five and Leonard reading something they aren’t supposed to have in the bathroom. Both the apocalypse file and the journal are red, too. This means something but I don’t have the analysis skills to really go into it. If anyone wants to take a crack at it, go ahead. Sin removed because I know this is smart even if I can’t figure out why.-1

Vanya’s training implies that Reggie has been training these kids hard since they were at least four years old. +7

Current Sin Count: 73

Reggie doesn’t praise Vanya for breaking the glass, he just demands that she does it again. Say it with me now, Reggie is a dick. +1

Leonard straight up uses the word extraordinary. Sigh. +1

The description for how Vanya’s powers work (concentrate on a constant sound until that’s all you can hear and then use an emotional connection to target) is surprisingly good. This is the best description of somebody’s powers we’ve ever gotten in this show. -1

Klaus is attempting to get the yarn on the needle and failing miserably. This is one of the simpler, if tedious, things we do in knitting. Therefore, it is completely understandable how a beginner can’t make heads or tails of it. -1

Five is still injured. The old man walk gives it away. +1

Five treats Klaus like a second in command. I want more of this duo. -1

“So how’d the crazy bastard actually know to kill himself a week before the end of the world?” We would all like to know the answer to that question. Five would be excellent at cinema sins. +1

“Don’t answer, that was purely rhetorical.” Nice cop out, show. +1

Reggie used The Apocalypse to make his kids do the dishes. Checks out. +1

Five and Klaus bond over hating doing the dishes and the person making them do the dishes. Sibling culture. -1

“Where have you been?” “Jail. Long story.” The looks on Klaus and Five’s faces! -2

Vanya breaks the monocle. Good job, kid. However, if you know the comics then you know why I am mildly concerned about this. -1

“That will conclude your training for the time being.” Meaning the next 25 years. Reggie, you suck. +1

Now Vanya’s powers are a bit more vague and imply that she has super hearing. +1

Leonard’s training routine actually includes some praise, which is a step up from Reggie. However, a step up from Reggie is still someplace in hell, so it’s still a sin. +1

It’s also a sin because it’s uncontrolled and Vanya is afraid of it, yet Leonard keeps pushing her. +1

Leonard uses the kind of language Reggie would use to describe Vanya’s powers. Checks out because he read Reggie’s book and is using his ideas to train Vanya. +1

Helen Cho’s missing person poster reminds the viewer that Leonard is bad news. +1

Vanya plays for the St. Pluvium Chamber Orchestra. First of all, no they have a conductor. +1

Second of all, “Pluvium” means of or relating to rain. The Umbrella Academy fights against the leader of the rain orchestra in episode 10. Who came up with that pun? That is absolutely hilarious. -1

Based on a post by @seven-valid-libras I think Griddy’s is across the street from this bar? I am not 100% sure. If it is then that’s a sin off because Agnes definitely has a bunch of drunk people coming in for doughnuts every now and then. I lowkey want to write this fic. -1

“Maybe they’ll brood each other to death” Is this a reference to the fact that Luther and Diego were both too emo for umbrellas in episode 1? -1

I feel so bad for Luther right now. Reggie really fucked with his head. +1

After hearing that Vanya’s boyfriend is a convicted murderer, Luther is more concerned for Allison than he is for Vanya. +1

Diego’s face when Luther says “you should have led with that!” [the fact that Allison went after a convicted murderer alone] -1

Luther is right. Diego should have led with that. +1

Luther breaks the door in his rush to get out of the bar. Checks out. -1

Mary J. Blige. -1

The shop is closing because Agnes is leaving? Who owns Griddy’s? +1

And if the shop is closing, then why leave doughnuts on the shelf? Are they gifts for the other waitresses who are now out of a job? +1

Agnes keeps a flamingo (presumably, scented) candle in a bakery. +1

Cha Cha was way too close to that explosion to not get some scratches at the very least. +1

Sergeant Cheddar is letting Allison stay in the room while he interrogates Mr. Luntz (the man that survived Vanya’s powers). +1

What kind of person allows themselves to be hired by some guy in order to beat him up in front of his girlfriend? Who does that? Are there people like that who exist in real life? +1

Allison doesn’t get pissed off when Luntz says that they started to hurt the girl (Vanya) too. +1

Sgt. Cheddar finally gets pissed off with Allison after she starts leading Luntz. This took way too long. +1

“What I really need to do is practice,” said every musician ever. Including me. As I’m typing this I’m putting off practicing. Vanya is calling me out. I deserve it. +1

Also, Vanya just got first chair and so far she still hasn’t learned the solo the day before the concert. That is such a mood. -1

The cracks in Leonard’s personality are finally starting to show. If Harold was smart he would let Vanya do this without attempting to manipulate her into more practice. +1

Vanya left her violin propped up in the middle of a sofa. That is a broken violin waiting to happen. +1

Where is her rosin? Don’t tell me she reuses the same rosin and doesn’t clean her instrument. Please. +2

Leonard doesn’t tell Vanya where he will be going. He just sort of leaves without a note. This would be fine if this universe had cell phones, but it doesn’t. Leonard is a dick. +1

Agnes would like to spend her (Hazel tells her it’s hypothetical but we know it’s not) last two days on Earth with Hazel. That is so sweet. But also, they met less than a week ago. +1

This is the turning point that makes Hazel an active character that wants to stop the apocalypse. Finally some character motivation that makes sense! Whoop! -1

They Call Me a Fool by Damon is another one of my favorites from the soundtrack. What can I say, I’m a sucker for jazz. -1

There is a parallel between Five leaving Vanya’s apartment and Leonard leaving her at the cabin. Her brother (whom I assume she loves) and the man she is infatuated with both leave her at some point without warning. The people who Vanya loves keep leaving her. +2

Vanya puts her violin down on a chair and lets the bow fall. Bows are expensive. +1

“I made a secret place just for you. None of your siblings get to play there.” Of course Reggie is framing it this way. He’s scared of her. +1

The further away from Pogo the camera is, the less real he looks. +1

Reggie and Pogo locked Vanya in this cage. +1

Vanya’s violin bow fell down but in the next shot it’s propped on the chair. +1

Sgt. Cheddar tells Allison to stay put but has no way to verify that she actually will. Also, if he’s such a fan then shouldn’t he know that she used to be a superhero? +1

Allison kept her proof about Leonard/Harold in the car again. +1

“I love you. And I wanna be here for you as your sister.” -1

“I love him.” Vanya you met him less than a week ago. +2

If there was ever a wrong time to bring up the fact that you took Vanya’s powers away and left her with a horribly low self esteem due to the poorly worded “I heard a rumor that you think you’re just ordinary”, it would be now! Now is the wrong time to bring this up! +10

Reggie used Allison to make Vanya powerless. Reggie is a dick. An absolute bastard. A complete scumbag. Etc. +20

Reggie has also been drugging Vanya since she was FOUR YEARS OLD. +50

Insert Reggie insults here. Feel free to come up with your own in the tags. Fuck this guy repeatedly with a rusty chainsaw. +20

Vanya is not in the right state of mind to understand that Reggie is the one that made Allison rumor her. +1

The final fight between Allison and Vanya is heartbreaking. Emmy Raver-Lampman and Ellen Page are excellent actresses. -5

Vanya’s skin keeps getting paler and paler. Foreshadowing. -1

This is the only time Allison attempts to use her powers in the show. To save her life. I would say that it is pretty justified. -1

Violin bows are not sharp enough to cut human flesh. Is this another part of Vanya’s power? +1

Gore warning! This is super fucked. Not gonna lie, I gag a little every time I see this.+4

Vanya is freaking out and then Leonard walks in. Vanya’s mental state is completely out the window at this point. +4

Leonard manhandles Vanya into letting her sister die (as far as they know) on the floor of the cabin. +10

Allison has definitely lost enough blood to kill her, yet she survives this. +1

Leonard went out to kill Luntz. +10

Nobody in the car (Five driving, Klaus shotgun, Luther and Diego in the back) is wearing a seatbelt. +1

Also, of these four people, Five is the most qualified to drive right now? Diego is sitting right there! And we saw Klaus drive the ice cream truck! Luther would have some trouble driving because he’s so large. But really?? +2

“Can you go any faster?” “Ask me again and I’ll burn you with the cigarette lighter.” The comic relief doesn’t really land here because the scene before was so dramatic and the music is still playing. To change the mood, the song would also have to change. +2

Independently, that is a pretty funny Grandpa Five line. -1

Including Ben in the scene where they find Allison bleeding out on the floor is a subtle reminder to the audience that if Allison was dead, Klaus would be able to see her ghost. The lack of a ghost means she is still alive. +1

Also, this scene has all the original members of The Umbrella Academy in it. Look how far they’ve come from the bank robbery. +6

No one is checking for a pulse right now. They’re just assuming that Allison is dead. +10

Overall Review: It goes without saying that this episode is fucking brutal. When I first watched it I had to stop and go do something else for a while because of the rumor reveal and the throat thing. That was really, really concerning. Props to Emmy Raver-Lampman. She fucking killed it this episode. If anyone was wondering if she was a good actress (ya know because of all the “come look at this” lines she kept getting) then this episode made it very clear that she can act and she does it very, very well. 

So, Vanya’s sanity is out the window, Allison is down for the count, and no one cares about the apocalypse right now. That last one is understandable because of Allison’s situation, but damn it really isn’t looking good for the Hargreeves siblings. 

Also, I want to talk about something. This is the last episode in which Allison and Vanya are both capable of speech. And in the eight hours we have known these two women, they have had multiple conversations. All of them have been about a man. Their brothers, their father, Patrick, or Leonard/Harold. Seriously, the two women in this show that are main characters never have a conversation that isn’t about a man. There is no excuse. With the fridging and this, you have to wonder if the writers on this show hate women or something? I don’t normally add sins post analysis, but I think I will make an exception for this one. +100

Total: 283

Sentence: Serious gore. 

[lokislytherin]

euphoria // vampire!jungkook

pairing: vampire!jeon jeongguk x human!reader summary: you’re scared of vampires - until one saves your life one night. word count: 1988 + 1808 + 

chapters: prologue / chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / epilogue

The next few days are mostly uneventful.

Taehyung visits and shamelessly beats your ass at Mario Kart when he steals Seokjin's DS, only to have his older brother return and beat his ass in an act of revenge.  Taehyung begs for rematches, and the amount of times Seokjin wins is alarming.  That day, you learn that your roommate is surprisingly competitive when it comes to Mario, games, and Mario-related games.

You also meet up with college student Kim Namjoon, who has kindly volunteered to tutor you in math.  In the span of your one hour-long session, Namjoon manages to misplace both his wallet and his phone while rambling on about trigonometry and Greek mathematician/philosophers.  Thankfully, he finds both in the cafe booth you've been studying at.  You bear him no offense, but you're glad for the distraction your new friend's disastrous luck and tendency to babble offers you, if only for a short while.

Even though he tries not to show it in front of you, you can tell that Seokjin is still suspicious about what happened - or rather, didn't happen - the other night.  You shut your own worries down, telling yourself firmly he's better off not knowing.  If he found out that you met a vampire, he'd flip out and pitch a fit, or have a heart attack.  Perhaps he'd do both, and proceed to lock you in your room and never let you out without him being by your side.  He's never been good with horror films, but again, neither have you.

The next time you find yourself alone, it’s night-time again.  All your friends are busy – most of your friends from school are already asleep or being insomniac gremlins; Taehyung is doing some last-minute studying for a test the next day; you're not desperate enough to contact Namjoon, and not familiar enough with him either; and surprisingly enough, Jin is on a date.  Despite your initial irritation at him ditching your movie night, you’re happy for him – he needs to get out more, and his good looks deserve much better than to go to waste with him being a bachelor for the rest of his life.

You sigh as you attempt to brush out the tangles in your damp hair, envying Seokjin’s effortless beauty.  No matter what he does, he's flat out gorgeous, and he knows it, even if nobody else notices.  But you? You're not exactly society's image of 'drop dead gorgeous'.  All your previous relationships have gone to shït, even though you will admit that it was not your fault.  You glare at your reflection, and the girl in the fogged-up mirror glares right back at you.

You turn around, sick of looking at your messy, knotted hair – and scream.

There’s a boy.  In your bathroom.  A boy with dazzling blue eyes and gleaming white canines, a boy that doesn’t appear in the mirror.  A boy that clearly can't be human, no matter how much his other features almost lull you into a false sense of security.  

He grins.  “Hi.”

Did I mention the boy is in your bathroom? Had he arrived a few minutes earlier, you would've been naked.

You scream again, right in his face.  It’s the bloodsucker from several nights ago! You quiver upon realizing that his fangs are even sharper up close. He cute though, the voice in your head supplies helpfully.  It's not wrong. He winces, immediately clamping a hand over your mouth.  His skin is cold, cold as ice, whereas you are warm, face flushed with terror and mild embarrassment. Enclosing you in his arms, he carefully pulls you away from the mirror, setting you down on your bed.  Your eyes are wide, brain frozen in fear, body unable to move of your own free will. You seem a little less scared of him than he is of you as he pulls his hand away from your face, but reflexively presses a finger against your lips to shut off another scream from you.  You go cross-eyed at the contact.  Is he trying to kill you, or flirt with you?

Boys are confusing, you decide.

“Sorry if I scared you,” he says quietly, almost bashfully, “I keep forgetting I’m not a human anymore.” If he were human, he’d probably be blushing, but he’s not, and his face is pale, without any sign of a flush.  He looks a little paler than he should be, but that’s it.  He carefully sits down beside you, leaving a large gap in the middle.

“Thanks for calling me cute, though,” he says, incredibly forward but somehow even shyer than before (and shït, Y/N, you realize belatedly, he’s not supposed to be this cute! He’s dead!).  He doesn’t meet your eyes.  “You’re not too bad yourself.”

You finally gain control of your tongue (and your brain).  “I don’t mean to be rude, but who the fück are you and what the fück are you doing in my house?”

You know it’s probably unwise to swear at an undead being who could drain you dry of blood and life in less than a minute, but right now you’re too angry, scared (and honestly a little turned on) to care about that.  Besides, the vampire boy doesn’t really look like he could hurt you. “I’m Jeon Jeongguk, and I’m a vampire. I won’t hurt you; I swear.” You narrow your eyes.  The primal instinct inside your head still screams at you to run, even as you see how he looks a little lonely, a little sad.   “You’re still scared of me, aren’t you?” You nod, and he pouts.  Eyebrows knitted together, he closes his eyes in intent focus, and you watch in fascination as his fangs retract into his gums to reveal normal human teeth.  “Again, I’m really sorry for scaring you the other day.”  

He cracks a wry smile.  “I’m not me when I’m hungry.”

To your surprise, a giggle escapes your throat.  “You’re a vampire.  How do you know about Snickers?”

He looks wounded.  “Why wouldn’t I know about Snickers? I'm not too big a fan myself, but I still know about them.” He sighs.  “Believe it or not, I was human too.”

You resist the urge to hug the stranger upon hearing the sadness in his tone, instead just softly patting his arm.  “How old are you?” You blurt curiously.  The question’s been on your mind for a while.  He looks young, not much older than you are.  But how old is he really?

Jeongguk pouts.  “I hate it when people ask me that. I’m so shït at counting.” He tries anyway, counting with his fingers and looking confused.  “I was turned a year ago? I was twenty-one, but I haven’t physically aged since then. So, does that make me twenty-two, or am I still twenty-one? Am I supposed the years I’ve been alive for? But I should be biologically dead, because my heart’s not beating anymore and I'm fueled by blood and magic-”

He stops and sniffs the air.  “Actually, I think your roommate’s back.” He closes his eyes, sniffs a little more and promptly looks disgusted.  “He doesn’t seem very happy.”

You cock your head. “Emotions have scents,” he explains, “irritation and self-deprecation smell the worst.” He wrinkles his nose with a small pout.  “Werewolves can distinguish scents better, though.  They're like dogs, especially near the full moon.”

You coo inwardly at the pouty look on his face, and jump when you hear Seokjin's key twisting in the lock.  Your room is further away from the door than Jin's, and if Jeongguk can smell Seokjin from here he must have one hell of a nose.  Briefly, you're tempted to pull out some garlic bread.

“Well, that's my cue to leave.” Jeongguk smiles so brightly you're a little dazed.  He looks like a bunny - adorable - and it's so cute that you're squealing and dying on the inside at the same time. “Bye!”

That said, he jumps out the window.

You almost scream and throw yourself out after him, only to remember he's a vampire with far better reflexes than you.  You see him downstairs, a blur of black in the shadows.  He stops and waves goodbye, like an energetic puppy of sorts.  With a light blush on your face, you wave back.

You flinch away from the window as the door creaks and swings open, hearing a disheartened looking Seokjin stomping in. You hope he doesn’t notice the lingering blush on your cheeks.  You'd feel bad if you snagged a cutie and he didn't, after trying for so much longer than you have.

“I take it that the date didn’t go too well?” You ask, testing the waters as you walk out to greet him.  An angry and heartbroken Seokjin is never a good Seokjin to deal with.

Seokjin mumbles something unintelligible, and you hum to get him to clarify.

Seokjin throws himself onto the couch.  “She ditched. She didn’t even call, or text! I waited for an hour.  Alone. In the dark.” He sniffs, pouting.  “These dates are so stupid. I feel so stupid.  Why do I even bother anymore?”

You sit down beside him, patting his shoulder reassuringly.  “Oh, darling.” He’s a little older than you, but he’s used to your fond nicknames.  “You’ll find the perfect one for you soon enough.”

He huffs. “You say that every time,” he retorts bitterly. “Well, maybe you’ll find someone who appreciates you.” He sighs heavily, barely giving you time to move your arm before he flops backwards dramatically, almost boneless.  “I hope so too, Y/N.”

Seokjin switches on the tv, mindlessly flipping through the channels.

“Still up for movie night?” You suggest.

Your roommate nods gratefully.  “Hell yeah.”

You take the remote from him, laughing.  “Good, because I’m picking the movie.”

He groans dramatically.  “Oh, what a nightmare.”

You move to flick his forehead, but he ducks out of the way.  “Just for that comment, we’re watching Twilight.  Now get the chips.”

He obliges, albeit grudgingly.  Neither of you are big fans of the vampire movie franchise - or the books, for that matter - but your sassy jabs at the characters never fail to make Seokjin feel better.

You won't tell him about your ulterior motives - after a vampire named Jeon Jeongguk barreled into your life, you've never related to Bella Swan so much.