#in today's episode of life is a cosmic joke

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

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[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: I Want to Believe

Stephen King: hey did you hear that thomas wrote an x files episode? Barker: what? which one? King: oh i think King: i think it was called King: 'thomas ligotti is from outer space' or something Barker: Barker: yeah i don't think it was called that

King: i heard you wrote an x files episode Thomas Ligotti: hm King: you know, i once wrote an x files episode myself Ligotti: hm King: it was about an evil doll Ligotti: did the evil doll represent the existential void of an indifferent universe King: King: uh no King: it was the regular kind

Ligotti: they never actually made my episode Ligotti: they said it was too depressing Barker: damn! whoa! Barker: you? depressing? Barker: get outta town! Poe: clive Barker: i'm just as shocked as you are!

Barker: so thomas this depressing x-files thing you did Ligotti: hm Barker: did it have mannequins Poe: clive Ligotti: yes Barker: whoa! really defying stereotypes today huh tom?

Barker: wait wait Barker: i'm on a role Barker: i'm about to use my AWESOME PSYCHIC POWERS to make another prediction Barker: was there a ventriloquist dummy in it? Ligotti: yes Barker: whoa! 2 for 2! Koontz: are you really psychic? Poe: no dean Barker: yes dean Barker: yes i am

Barker: damn thomas i am totally SHOCKED that you'd write about ventriloquist dummies Barker: i am just so COMPLETELY SURPRISED because that's Barker: like Barker: SO out of character for you Jon Padgett: s-shut up Padgett: leave him alone Padgett: just shut up!

Ligotti: a ventriloquist dummy is a cosmic doppelganger, real and yet not real, a mocking caricature of the spark of life, a reminder of the cruel joke the universe played on mankind that is sentience RL Stine: yeah and also Stine: what if one had a knife?

Ligotti: so mulder and scully face the truth that we are all just in a cosmically indifferent universe, specks upon the tides of fate, subject to unknowable forces beyond human ken that our blinkered minds cannot ever hope to fathom Ligotti: the truth is NOT out there

[subterra-rose]

Seeing lots of (understandable) mixed takes or complaints about the fionna and cake ending but I'm baffled by the people complaining about Simon and Betty's ending and saying they should've ended up back together

Babes their story was a tragedy produced by their own flaws and then warped by its setting (the war and the crown and the time travel) allowing those flaws to fester. They were never going to end up back together. What in the show made you think any different? Did you leave your media literacy skills at home today? Like ???

Their ending was bittersweet and it made sense. Best part of these last 2 episodes

But maybe these terrible takes are what I get for browsing the main tags 🤷

YEAH WELL EXACTLY

I make jokes and there’s always wishful thinking, but Petrigrof was always doomed. Not only did she merge with a cosmic entity embodying chaos, she did it in attempt to save his life and then he came back and threw it in her face right in front of her? It had already been established that the crown was unable to stop Golb, so what force would there have been really that would’ve resulted in Betty and Golb splitting, and conversely, if that didn’t work, what would’ve made Simon able to be with her as GolBetty? There was the wishmaster theory which I did like, but a lot of the theories disregarded the loved ones Simon already HAD back in Ooo and also drove home the fact that they were kind of codependent on each other?

Let Betty do her own thing for once!!! I think their relationship ending was what I expected, BUT I wish she had had a bit more development or even gotten to see a little bit of her perspective, although, it is understandable we didn’t see her perspective because she’s basically, you know, an intangible force of chaos outside reality and her machinations are unknowable thus unpredictable? And also!!!! She’s had!!! 12+ years to move on!! Simon constantly reminisced on their relationship and it took him being hit over the head with it that he realized that he denied her her own autonomy in their relationship before starting to move on. It’s like when ppl called the Winter King uncaring for his Betty. No, he’s had 100 years to move on and the choices they made in that universe might not have been the same as Simon’s?

This got a lot longer than I wanted but yeah, love Petrigrof, them saying goodbye was probably the best thing for both of them thematically. A wonderful experience that could’ve ended on better terms had their relationship gone differently

[kimdokjas]

Hi~ I binge-read orv webtoon today and I have just finished. I came to Tumblr to know more about the fandom and I realised that people ship Dokja with Joonghyuk. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting that. I thought their "flirty"(? interactions were just some sort of fan service or silly jokes. Is there anything in the novel that implies a relationship between them? Or maybe something that I missed in the webtoon? (I struggle with picking up social cues, especially romantic cues)

I hope this ask doesn't upset you, you were one of the top orv blogs that Tumblr showed me

(also, I apologize for my bad English, it isn't my first language)

Wait I'm one of the top orv blogs??? 💀💀💀 But for sure, I don't mind at all, anon! I love having an excuse to rant about orv <3

To preface this: yes, most of the heavier joongdok content comes until later in the novel, but there ARE some highlights in the webtoon as well so far.

I think most of the appeal of early joongdok interactions in the webtoon comes from the enemies to lovers vibe they have going on. Picture KDJ hyperfixating on his single favorite character for 10+ years, through every up and down of his life. In his narration during their FIRST meeting he explicitly says:

I liked you, hated you, resented you, and cheered for you. I was with you throughout your three-thousand episode journey. (webtoon ch. 12)

AND THEN. He finds out his favorite blorbo comes to life and proceeds to annoy him until he starts choking him over a bridge with a sunset backdrop like something out of a romance drama. It's all about the tension and subversion of expectations 🤌

Their relationship is very much a slowburn. YJH very reasonably distrusts KDJ at first (due to some past trauma) but we do see him gradually start to warm up to KDJ as the story progresses.

One of the main highlights is during ch. ~100 in the Disaster of Floods scenario. When KDJ sacrifices himself for YJH, he proceeds to freak out, tries to save him even when he knows it's futile, and refuses to kill him for coins even when YJH is often largely pragmatic in his interactions with others. We're told that YJH pretty much never uses the word "companion" because it holds too much meaning for him and he's never acknowledged KDJ as such, even though KDJ insists they're "life and death companions" (which is already pretty damn poetic if not romantic imo). But when Shin Yoosung asks who KDJ is to him, YJH says:

"That guy. He is my companion." (ch. 102)

(This got translated as "a companion of mine" in the webtoon but the novel is where it's at.) And keep in mind this is also an actual quote from the novel btw:

The weight of this word, 'companion', was too great for Yoo Joonghyuk. (ch. 12)

However, as I mentioned, their relationship only really starts to develop until later in the novel. To be clear, there's no explicit romance in orv–which I personally really appreciate because it opens up the floor instead to flesh out all the platonic relationships all of the characters have with one another that are JUST as deep and profound.

But even so, joongdok is very much canon to me. I don't want to give too much away because I'd be spoiling the rest of the novel for you, but they really are cosmic soulmates meant for one another in a way that is so narratively profound and completely goes full circle. The lengths they go to for one another are actually insane and there's no doubt in my mind the love and devotion they feel for one another is real and simultaneously indescribable by mere labels.

I really hope you're planning on continuing to read the novel now that you finished the webtoon! I truly cannot recommend it enough. It is literally and unironically the single greatest piece of literature I've ever read and the journey is 100% worth it. Plus, the webtoon will take a long time to complete at the current rate so the only way to find out what happens next is by reading the novel 😉

Anyway, I hope this was somewhat helpful to you! I think it's really admirable that you're trying to search for a different interpretation from your own. There's a saying in orv by one of the characters: "Read it again", and the intention there is that by rereading (or looking at things again in a new light) you will always find new meaning even within the exact same text, as long as you're willing to look for it. So the fact that you're asking this question is very much in the spirit of orv itself <3

And this goes without saying but you're also completely free to interpret them in your own way as well!

(By the way, I highly advise you to blacklist the "orv spoilers" tag and try to tread with caution if you're searching for content! There are spoilers literally EVERYWHERE and while orv is still very much enjoyable even with spoilers, all the reveals won't hit as hard–trust me. There really is so much that can be spoiled.)

[tobiasdrake]

Episode 22 - The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya, Part 3

XD HAHAHAHAHA

She was gonna do it. She glanced over at Kyon and gave him this little head tilt as if looking for confirmation. The alien robot equivalent of the "Are you certain you wish to complete the requested operation?" confirmation window.

She was about to unleash Integrated Thought Entity reality-configuration domain sorcery and disintegrate Mikuru into fractals.

Haruhi came this close |-| to getting Mikuru killed during filming.

Dear diary.

Today, while filming our movie (without a script or clear idea of the plot), we trespassed on a Shinto shrine. When the priest discovered us, we shot at him with guns.

In conclusion, I'm glad to be a part of SOS Brigade.

(To be fair, I'm pretty sure that if you find yourself in a position where God is shooting at you with guns, you are failing to carry out your duties as a priest. Maybe he should reflect on that.)

OH SHIT HERE WE GO

We've seen Haruhi rewrite reality before but this time feels so much more direct than before. I was worried before that Haruhi trying to make a movie would result in some Alan Wake shit and now we're here.

She got so frustrated that Mikuru couldn't read her mind and figure out that she's supposed to have Magical Girl laser eyes that she wound up giving Mikuru Magical Girl laser eyes for real.

I vote we let her keep it. I said before that Mikuru should be given a gun and this is just as good. She deserves something to defend herself with.

Yuki's ability to withstand tremendous amounts of physical harm in what is neither a battle shonen nor a gorefest anime is always unsettling in the rare instances it comes up. If I had to describe the genre, the best I could come up with is cosmic horror slice-of-life.

It's a good thing Haruhi made Mikuru wear that blue contact. Writing the new rule as "Your special blue eye allows you to shoot lasers" provided an easy exit clause. Though if some Ryoko type shit happens again down the road, I hope they remember that Mikuru can now shoot motherfucking lasers as long as she's wearing that blue contact. Hang on to that.

Yuki making goddamn certain that Kyon credits her and Mikuru's feats properly when he updates their entries on Versus Wiki tonight.

"The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya" really ramped up the Mikuru mistreatment. Ever since filming began, the Mikuru bits have been dialed up to 11. It feels purposeful. But. Like. I kind of feel the same way that I feel about when Danganronpa tries to deliberately call out sexualized mistreatment in the entertainment industry.

That is to say. Like. The way Haruhi so heavily objectifies and mistreats Mikuru in this arc while making these directorial rants feels like it's supposed to be satirical and poignant. And it would. If. She. Didn't already treat Mikuru this way under normal circumstances too.

It feels like it's trying to make a statement, but that statement falls flat because it's dependent on the same "joke" that they've already been telling since episode 1. If acting like this was new, if becoming a director caused a shift in Haruhi's behavior that suddenly made her act this way, then it would work as a satirical commentary. But. As is, it's just the same shit with a new context.

So ultimately it doesn't feel like Haruhi's acting like this because she's a director. It feels like the director is acting like this because she's Haruhi.

Of course, it could also just be "season two". Endless Eight had a noticeable ramp-up in Male Gaze camera shots. I noted in season one that Mikuru's treatment seemed unusual in a series that largely avoided doing typical Male Gaze things like closeups on female body parts or unnecessarily low camera angles to shoot up the girls' skirts. Come season two, all of that stuff is here in force.

So. They course-corrected in the wrong direction between seasons. With that in mind, this might not be a statement on anything. They may just be ramping up the Mikuru gag because this season is pervier than the first.

(Note that I am not referring to the quality of Mikuru gag; Her mistreatment here isn't any worse than in season one. Rather, I'm referring to the quantity of Mikuru gag; This arc is saturated with it. It is non-stop rather than being a brief bit here or there like it usually is. Just about every scene has an "LOL Objectifying Mikuru" joke. And, of course, she's getting it from both Haruhi and Kyon as usual.)

Gonna be honest, it took me a moment to realize that Haruhi was getting a taxi. I legit thought she was stealing this car.

No, let her keep it, you jackals! UGH Mikuru doesn't get to have anything.

Yuki can inject nanomachines into people's blood by biting them. That is hilarious and I'm furious that it wasn't depicted onscreen. I'm just picturing Yuki with typical stoic face but teeth bared, clenching Mikuru's finger in her teeth. And just. Sitting there. For minutes. Processing.

[mittensmorgul]

since there’s no spn on the tnt loop today, i’m rewatching the Winchesters pilot. this is just general episode notes and things I haven’t talked about yet, for reference purposes mostly :D

Their meet cute... it feels “true-ish” to the story Dean shared with Mary in 12.01 as proof of identity. They met coming out of the theater where Slaughterhouse Five was playing by running into each other physically. But so many details-- TINY details-- aren’t quite “right.” They’re edited, but in a “the story became the story” way that we all probably have “sanitized” versions of our life history that we share with outsiders, you know? Or our kids... 

This was a major thing that Dean did throughout spn canon. I have whole tags about it: “the story became the story” and “sanitized for sammy,” and if we’re being completionist about it, also “sam vs reality.” And Dean began doing this ON JOHN’S ORDERS. He was to keep the truth of their lives from Sam, and there was a whole episode about Sam losing his innocence about monsters and hunting, and Dean blaming himself for it while STILL attempting to reframe the truth in a way that was more palatable and comforting, you know? Sam still didn’t get the details, he got “Dad’s a superhero” and “he always comes back.” Even though he didn’t, really.

The Story of John and Mary feels similar, especially since Dean’s our narrator now. The details are all the same-- ran into each other, they even joked that Mary really got John there even though Mary was the one knocked to the ground. Mary didn’t even see the movie but commented to John that the book was probably better-- i.e. she didn’t love the movie like Dean’s story before. It wasn’t Mary who apologized by taking them to a diner for coffee, it was John bringing her coffee trying to get her help/help her in their parallel searches for their respective fathers that feels FAR too coincidental, like a cosmic set-up scenario.

We know the cupids had to work overtime to get them together, you know? What better than to give them an Epic Quest to work through together? Which feeds directly into Chuck’s Process, his favored method of getting his characters to do what he wants. I.e. making people believe they’re seeking/doing something they personally want to by placing carefully orchestrated problems in their path. Even if Chuck isn’t the one TELLING us this story, since Dean is our narrator/storyteller now, he’s narrating events that had ALREADY HAPPENED, in theory. At least that’s the PREMISE we’re being invited to observe here, so until the narrative tells us otherwise, that’s how I’m personally observing.

I have no doubt that the reveal of The Trick Of The Thing in episode 13 will shed new light on this viewpoint, or shift our understanding of what we’ve watched to that point, but I do think they are laying out clues in the small details that we already think we know about the Winchester family history, you know? So how they’re choosing to present them to us now feels important, too.

There’s also the demons. That first one they encounter outside the clubhouse that Mary knocks into the holy water kiddie pool, I think that one ESCAPED rather than having been exorcised. That’s the only reason it was able to take a new host so quickly without having been redirected through Hell, you know? Even if we only saw John give about half an exorcism in the alley behind Ada Monroe’s place, I think we’re supposed to understand that’s what a successful exorcism actually looks like-- not with the smoke running off the way it had before, but sort of... poofing in the air and disappearing. Only at this point was it returned to Hell.

John and Mary are already doing the whole “stealing glances at each other when they think the other isn’t looking” thing, and it’s giving me brain worms.

Mary saying “there’s no secrets in our family,” I honestly had to pause it here to laugh. Five minutes later, it’s still fucking hilarious.

She’s never heard of the Men of Letters, but her father definitely has. Ada has. And now John learns his father had... and even Millie had... So was Samuel keeping this from Mary to protect her from the mysterious fate that befell the entire MoL organization 15 years prior to this time? Or shielding her from the heaviest of it all because he believed it had been defunct? Questions questions questions...

John being goofy asking Carlos how he got involved in hunting feels very Sam-like. 3.01 anyone? Carlos’ answer is fantastic though. The only thing worse than how someone gets into hunting is how they end... feels very Dean (it ends bloody or it ends sad, etc.)

John and Lata... really does feel like a thing. And it’s being framed as Mary SEEING it happen, and thinking John has feelings for Lata, and vice versa.

Mary’s deal here-- when we find my dad I’m walking away from hunting-- feels VERY Sam in early seasons. The only reason Dean was able to convince Sam to go with him to hunt their dad in the pilot was on the understanding that Sam was going back to his “normal” life as soon as they were done. After the pilot, it became “as soon as we find Dad, I can be free, be out, never hunt again” for SAM. That was Sam’s deal, for YEARS.

And even when Mary came back in s12, it was what she thought she was fighting for, working with the BMoL (maybe thinking they were the same as the MoL she’d known prior, if she retained any memories of any of this, which remains to be seen) to make it so her children wouldn’t HAVE to fight monsters, if there were no monsters left to fight. It’s kind of horrifying, her believing that’s what Sam would’ve wanted (and Sam... kind of going along with it in s12, even hiding it from Dean for a while). But the parallels between parents and kids are never 1:1 and never had been, either. There’s so much “Mary is just like Dean, John is just like Sam” commentary happening, that I don’t want to brush off “Mary’s also just a bit like Sam, and John of course shares some traits with Dean,” too.

Mille telling John that she hid the truth about monsters and the MoL from him because she would do anything to keep him safe, and that maybe one day when he had kids, he’d understand. And like... yeah maybe. The immediate reaction was PFFFT NO. HE MADE HIS KIDS INTO HUNTERS, INTO WARRIORS. But... not at first. He and Mary had been trying to keep them safe, normal. Until the demon came for Mary and flung John back into the life. Like... how different would things have gone if not for that? If not for The Story™ coming for them?

And again, this also feeds into “how much will they actually retain from this entire experience, or even possibly “how real is this entire experience to our known SPN Prime Universe?” Those seem like important questions to bear in mind.

I feel the need to put this link here now, before it gets pushed waaaaay down the google search results by results from the show... but Akrida has several definitions I think may all be relevant to some extent or another. It’s a garden, a place of leisure and play or sporting. A “play-ground,” created by the king either exclusively for the royal family to enjoy, or for the public to enjoy. And isn’t that what The Winchesters is? I mean, Dean is our King in this metaphor. But the Akrida in the show is a force intent on devouring or destroying all of existence, too. It’s a very ouroboros concept from that zoomed out perspective, you know? Creation devouring itself. More on this as our understanding expands through the season.

The last thing I think I really need to mention here: Dean, our driver picking the music. Our Storyteller. Also functioning as the Man of Letters chronicling and precepting for us. One other important thing that I’ve seen discussed since we got the first promo with Dean writing in a journal: THIS IS NOT NEW FOR DEAN, NOT OUT OF CHARACTER, and NOT GROUNDBREAKING.

In early seasons, it was clear that Dean DID keep his own journals. He didn’t just use John’s Journal. It sort of became their default master collection of lore at some point, and obviously was their “clue book” during s1. But all through the early seasons we’re shown Dean writing in other notebooks, keeping records for himself. Off the top of my head, we see it in 1.16 Shadow, and it looks like it’s very well organized and that Dean had been using it regularly, even if we only see it for a brief moment. I know that wasn’t the only time we saw it, either, but I don’t have time to scour the first few seasons for references today. We know he and Sam both eventually came to rely more on John’s Journal since they were partially using it as a clue book to find JOHN HIMSELF, and to follow the trail of clues laid out for them by John, you know? That journal functioned sort of like a codex to follow their family history, more than just a straight-up hunter’s journal of lore and info the way Dean’s journal worked. But now that he’s the storyteller, we’re finally getting HIS family history, written by him. I just needed to say all this, to note it down for reference.

[twistedtummies2]

The Devils I Know - Number 4

Welcome to “The Devils I Know!” For this spooky time of year, from now till Halloween, I’ll be counting down My Top 31 Depictions of the Devil, from movies, television, video games, and more! The end of the countdown draws ever nearer. Today’s Devil proves you can’t judge a fallen angel by his cover. Number 4 is…Tom Ellis, from Lucifer.

Earlier in the list, I discussed two different DC screen versions of Lucifer: Peter Stormare in “Constantine,” and Gwendolyn Christie from “Sandman.” As I said with both of them earlier, I don’t really know much about DC’s Lucifer in the comics, so I have no idea how well either of them portray the character as depicted in said comics. However, sandwiched between both of those versions is a show that, at first, I honestly didn’t even realize WAS based on the DC version. Once I did, naturally, that only made things all the more intriguing. That version is the one played by Tom Ellis in the TV series simply and aptly called “Lucifer.”

“Lucifer,” the show, is a supernatural crime/mystery series, somewhat similar to shows like “Sleepy Hollow” or “Supernatural.” The plot focuses on Lucifer Morningstar, the Devil himself – played by Tom Ellis – who has basically decided to leave Hell and is sticking around on Earth. A chance encounter with a police detective, Chloe Decker, leads to Lucifer becoming the resident Sherlock Holmes of the local police department: a special consulting detective, whom they call on for particularly odd or difficult cases. From that point on, Lucifer embarks on many adventures, helping Chloe and her team solve mortal crimes, while at the same time dealing with “family matters” of the divine and cosmic. Within the same episode, he may face a human serial killer and an angry angel or rogue demon. The show, itself, is just a masterwork. These kinds of series tend to be hit or miss for me, and I’m not sure why. But Lucifer hits a good balance in its tone, style, and storytelling that I really love. A big part of what makes the show work, as you might expect, is Tom Ellis as Lucifer himself. Ellis’ Devil is NOT a villain protagonist, as you might expect, but rather a misunderstood anti-hero. While Lucifer is certainly not the greatest guy in the world – he has an ego the size of the Sun (fitting for a man named “Morningstar,” I suppose), and lives for the present with all of its deadly sins and vices – a constant running theme in the show is that he is NOT an evil man. He simply gets a bad rap because of the mixture of who he is and the job he’s been forced to do. His duty is to PUNISH evil, and make no mistake, he takes intense delight out of doing so; he can be quite sadistic and he feels genuine rage at the follies of man and how often they blame him for their own mistakes. But he is not evil himself; he doesn’t tempt humans to destruction, he doesn’t lead them on with false promises. Even when it comes to good ol’ fashioned Faustian pacts, he makes it clear that it’s all the person’s choice and he never gives them less or more than they demanded. As the show goes on, Lucifer becomes an increasingly rich character. From his relationships with the other characters in the series to the way his personal life develops as he deals with increasingly more challenging issues, both in the mortal and celestial realms, he continues to grow and shift, all while keeping basic ideals close to the heart. Among them is his sense of humor: Lucifer is HILARIOUS, both the show and the character. A big part of the humor for the Devil himself comes from the fact that…well…as he, himself, many times points out, he NEVER tries to hide the fact he’s the Devil. At all. He doesn’t change his name, he doesn’t do anything to pretend he’s anything but what he was, he’s ALWAYS making it clear that’s who he is. Which makes it kind of hilarious whenever anybody realizes he’s not joking and he’s not crazy, he’s totally serious. It leads to drama, too, but for me it mostly makes me laugh how they always react with, “OMG, you’re ACTUALLY Satan?!” and what else can he say but, “I’VE BEEN TELLING YOU THAT ALL THIS TIME!” Of course, much of what makes all this great goes to Ellis as a performer. He captures every moment perfectly, from Lucifer’s more zany, eccentric, whimsical moments – I feel like this is what you’d get if The Master from Doctor Who had their own show – to the points where his inner vulnerability shows, to even the scenes where he has to remind people, “I’m the literal Devil, DON’T F*CK WITH ME.” Whether he’s being charming, frightening, or downright hilarious, he definitely creates one of the greatest Devils in TV history, if not THE greatest of the same. I actually feel kind of bad for leaving him out of the Top 3…but hopefully those three above him will not greatly disappoint.

Tomorrow, we enter the Top 3! HINT: Don’t clown around with this Devil!

[undiscovered-horizon]

Unfair - 10th Doctor x reader

Genre: sappy and angry in the end, what did yall expect

Word count: 760

Summary: Watching Pompeii drown in ashes and fire was difficult; for him more than the others. What was most difficult for you, however, was the cosmic unfairness of the entire situation.

Author's note: I watched that episode months ago, so take it with a grain of salt, I might have unknowingly omitted/changed something. In any event, this idea has been haunting me for some time, so here you go.

TARDIS was drowning: in silence, in unshed tears, in grim thoughts and most of all, guilt. The normally comforting sounds of the machine were now uncomfortably loud. You couldn't gather your thoughts with the mechanical shrieking ringing in your ears. None of you dared to break this sickening silence, although each one longed to do so. To crack a joke, to say a comforting word and carry on as if nothing happened. Denial would be so much easier than facing reality.

His face was dark. You have noticed that over previous weeks he had started to become more and more grim with each passing second, the reason for it remained unknown to you. With the interior lights reflecting in his eyes, it was easy to tell that desperate tears threatened to fall down his cheeks any minute. Some foolish thoughts of his kept them at bay, however. His dark eyes didn't dare to move even an inch, his intense stare stuck to the control panel which he was leaning against; palms gripping the metal railing.

Donna was standing farther away from the two of you, her expression showing either anger or sadness, two emotions that dictated the entire ordeal you have suffered through today. Her silence terrified you in some way, as it was quite uncharacteristic for Donna Noble. When emotions took her over, she talked, always talked. What must be happening inside that head of hers, that all words have left her mouth? Could it be the remaining anger at the Doctor who had to be talked into saving a family? Or maybe her thoughts weren't too far off from yours, and Donna was left wondering about just how unfair it all was. Whatever the truth was, you decided to be the one to break that grave, depressing silence. For the better or the worse, but any minute longer and the heavy tension inside the TARDIS would suffocate you.

"It was unfair." You spoke quietly.

Neither of them looked at you. Is it their way of agreeing while grieving?

"No one should be forced to make such a decision."

That sentence caught their attention. Donna was looking at you, awaiting the further course of your monologue. The Doctor, however, only looked at you briefly. You weren't going to question his morality or lack of initiative but rather the cosmic dark humor that led him to such a terrible position. He couldn't really decide what he wanted more: for you to let it go and let him grieve in peace or try to comfort him. The latter would definitely make those bitter tears fall and he wasn't exactly sure if he was ready for it; ready to accept the unfair decision he had to make.

"There were no good choices back there, you know that. A tragic conflict is not a test of morals, it never could be. You thought of the future, tried to change it so that others have a chance, have hope. It was quite heroic, I have to say."

Doctor's gaze lifted and rested on you in silence for a few minutes.

"I let so many people die...There's nothing heroic about it. Someone had to make a choice and, apparently, it had to be me."

"You were thrown between the devil and the deep blue sea. Making that decision was baggage you chose to carry, baggage too heavy for anyone else probably. You didn't have to do that, you chose that. And I can't think of a more tragic way to be selflessly kind."

A lonely, tired tear ran down his cheek. He was tired of always carrying the burden on his shoulders, he was tired of having to be the real-life Atlas. And he felt immeasurably grateful that someone finally understood that the rock the universe leans on sometimes slides.

Seeing how he started to break down right there in the console room, the same room in which he always showed off his confidence and knowledge, made your heart break. Just how much grief and guilt can a one man carry? You approached him slowly and engulfed him in a warm, tight embrace. His hands clung to your sweatshirt, desperately looking for comfort and reassurance. When his hot tears soaked through your clothes, the sadness in your heart disappeared and anger took its place. It was unfair.

Holding him tightly and running one of your hands up and down his back, you whispered a vaguely threatening promise that shook Doctor's entire world:

"I will never forgive the universe for treating you like this."

[discotreque]

LwD 2.03: We’ll Always Have Tom Paris

I’ve lived in the same apartment for eight years now, and yesterday was the fifth catastrophic mechanical failure of the same bathroom toilet—all unrelated issues, too; this time it was the fill valve. At this point I don’t know whether to call a plumber or an exorcist… but anyway, it’s been kind of hard to focus on Star Trek! Ugh.

This week’s episode is credited to M. Willis, who I last encountered on She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, a show about which I wrote literally 100,000 words of fanfic last year, in between Picard and Lower Decks when I had no Star Trek to obsess over. Willis’s She-Ra episodes tended to be slightly off-format in execution, with big action set pieces, lots of characters in unexpected combinations, and usually an emotional game-changer of a climax—and her last credit on this show was “Much Ado About Boimler,” which obviously had all those elements too. She writes to her strengths!

Spoilers within:

If you need me, I’m going to be ugly-laughing about “Voy” for the rest of the day. (Wow, that does actually save a ton of time!)

SHAXS IS BACKXS!!!! The lower-deckers never knowing how or why a senior officer came back from the dead is a perfect microcosm of this show. I love that he still calls Rutherford “Baby Bear,” and I love the weird cosmic horror that LwD keeps sprinkling into the Star Trek universe. (What does that koala know?) I hope this doesn’t mean we’ve seen the last of Kayshon! His appearance on the bridge gives me hope we’ll get to keep both characters around.

Star Trek has always had fairly fuzzy world-building for the world outside Starfleet—understandable, since 99% of Star Trek takes place within Starfleet—but it’s been such a thrill to see LwD (and Picard) finally establish some in-universe pop culture that isn’t conveniently familiar to 20th- or 21st-century audiences. Like the Zebulon Sisters last season—a band that apparently does USO-style tours of Starfleet ships? Delightful. Kestra Troi-Riker having a t-shirt from a Sex Pistols cover band in Klingon? Fucking brilliant. Tendi bonding with the guy at the storage place over the “Klingon acid punk” playing from his little Bluetooth speaker? PUT IT IN MY VEINS.

They really put the character development in gear this week! I liked how we locked in a couple of things already established in extra-canonical material: Mariner’s bisexuality, which Mike McMahan mentioned in an interview last year, and Tendi’s given name, D’vana (which I was sure we’d heard on the show before, but I guess not?).

Speaking of Mariner’s love life, is human–Bynar dating just… by definition a threesome situation?

We learned a lot of new things about Tendi, though, and every single one makes her 10 times more interesting to me. Remember last season, when she said “many” Orions hadn’t been pirates or slavers “for over five years”? Is the implication that something happened in Orion culture—around the end of the Dominion War?—that led to Tendi (and presumably others) rejecting a life of crime and joining Starfleet? How long was she “the Mistress of Winter Constellations” before that—or is it more of an inherited title? I want more Tendi lore!!!!

(Speaking of Tendi’s life, another quick and confounding piece of information for my red-yarn “what the hell is up with Tendiford” theory board: Mariner asks if they’re dating and Tendi’s response is “Not really!” Not really? That’s not no, D’vana!)

This show continues to be a surprisingly conventional workplace sitcom underneath all the excellent Star Trek (and that’s not a bad thing, just a genre overlap that keeps falling out of the front of my mind). Boimler’s inability to use the computer hit way too close to home for me this week: a couple years ago, I returned to a job after a long-term leave of absence, during which time I’d been assigned to a new manager—who’d never had an employee return from long-term leave before, so he didn’t know what to do beforehand—so I spent my first day back just chilling at my desk, fucking around on my phone, because there was literally nothing else I could do without logging into the system first. Too real!

Something we’ve seen in this show that I’m not sure we’ve seen before w/r/t the food replicators is somebody putting a tray of food into the replicator to add more food on top of it—in this case Shaxs getting spicy kiwi ketchup (?!) on a hot dog he seems to have already replicated. (He couldn’t have asked for “hot dog, with spicy kiwi ketchup” in the first place? This is haunting me worse than him coming back from the dead.)

As a certified cat lady, the T’Ana plotline—and its resolution—made me laugh until I couldn’t breathe (unless that was the toxoplasmosis). I should have seen it coming, but I was too distracted by the second-hand embarrassment of them breaking “Jeremy” (and the completely unprecedented Star Trek plot of a doctor getting off on her grandmother’s family heirloom…).

Miscellany:

Jet offering to carry Boimler across the threshold of the door like a bride… am I going to ship THIS now?

Mariner interpreting Tendi’s “talk like a pirate!” in the same way a modern millennial would—“Arr, how ya be doin’ today, me fellow Orion?”—might have been my favourite dumb joke in the entire episode. (“I’m allergic to, uh, pheromones?”)

Tawny Newsome read the line about “only one name, like Odo!” in the script and apparently literally called Mike McMahan out of the blue to remind him that Odo’s name is short for “Odo’ital” and she didn’t want nitpicking nerds on her case. He told her the line was so funny he would accept the nitpicking, so don’t blame Tawny—she tried to warn him!

“There’s like, only a couple people in the quadrant who can say they got beat up by Tom Paris.” Is that a burn? I think that’s a burn.

Another banger of an episode. This show is more confident this season, and I’m loving it—and based on what I’ve heard from people who’ve seen the next two episodes, it only gets better from here. HYYYYYYYPE!!!!!!

See you next week—I’ve got to go fashion a toilet plunger into a crucifix, apparently.

[superhusbands4ever]

life is far away from fair - The Bad Batch (Ao3)

Words: 1562 | Rated: Gen | Hunter & Tech & Crosshair (& Rex, kinda)

Canon through Episode 3: Replacements | Lotta Angst

~

“Do you think he’s eating enough?”

Hunter pulled his eyes from where he’d been blankly watching the hyperspace lane fly by.

Tech was sitting in the copilot seat, fiddling with his inhibitor chip scanner. Wrecker and Echo were back in the bunks, staying with Omega after the girl had woken them all screaming from a nightmare.

Hunter certainly couldn’t blame her. He shuddered when he thought about their time in that Zygerrian camp, the collars around his brothers necks, Omega’s screaming and crying, begging the slavers to stop as they cracked the electro-whip at his back—

They were all sleeping a little rough after that. Thankfully they’d found Rex’s scrambled beacon not too long after and were able to take a couple of days to relax before Crosshair and his team found them and they had to—

And before Cody—

He was grateful to their ori’vod for helping them escape, but prying Echo from the other man was the hardest thing Hunter had done after leaving Kamino without their kih’vod. He hoped Rex was okay.

He hoped Rex was still alive.

Little gods, everything was so karked these days.

Omega was able to fall back asleep pretty quickly with Wrecker holding her, but Hunter hadn’t been able to, so he offered to take the first watch in the cockpit. They were in hyperspace and on autopilot, so there was really no reason for him to keep watch, but he needed some time to gather his thoughts.

Tech had come in an hour later, mumbling under his breath about Wrecker and Echo snoring before dropping into the seat beside Hunter and messing with his scanner.

They’d been sitting in silence for a while, Hunter lost in his own mind, before Tech’s voice broke through the silence.

He was still toying with the device in his hands, his voice the same clinical monotone as always, and he was carefully avoiding looking in Hunter’s direction.

“He has a faster metabolism of course, so if he doesn’t eat often enough he gets—“

“Dizzy spells,” Hunter finished, watching Tech carefully. “Yeah, I remember.”

“And he’s always been weird about eating,” Tech continued as if Hunter hadn’t spoken. “Statistically speaking, with the number of times we had to take him to the mess ourselves versus the number of times he went willingly, it’s unlikely that he’s—“

“I don’t know if he’s eating, Tech,” Hunter said softly, cutting the man off before he could work himself up. “I hope he is.”

Tech nodded, pulling a small screwdriver from somewhere and poking at his scanner.

It was instantaneous when my chip came out. I still remembered everything I’d done, but I was in control again.

Tech had been quiet about Crosshair since they left Kamino. While Wrecker and Echo and even Omega had expressed some fear for Crosshair and a longing to get him back, Tech hadn’t said much. A few passing comments about the chips, mentioning Cross’s name only when absolutely necessary to the conversation — speaking about their youngest brother almost clinically, as if everything was normal and they hadn’t broken the one rule they set for themselves when they left him behind.

It was strange at first, because he and Cross had always been close. Being the two youngest of the batch they tended to drift together more often than not. Crosshair was a man of few words while Tech tended to be a man of many. They balanced each other out, in a way. Crosshair was the only one Tech tolerated casual touch from. Tech was the only one Crosshair let near him when he was injured or sick. It was weird to be on the ship and see the two of them not in the cockpit together, Tech rambling about something or another while Crosshair rolled his eyes and tried to hide a smile. It was strange, at first, that Tech didn’t seem to want to acknowledge their brother was gone.

Hunter hadn’t said anything about it because he wasn’t sure what to do. Tech tended to struggle with complex emotions. He didn’t always know how to explain what he was feeling, and he struggled socially because of it.

But having known Tech since he was barely over two growth cycles old, Hunter knew Tech was really good at saying a lot of words without actually saying anything at all. And usually to figure out what he was feeling, actions spoke louder than words.

Theoretically, if you get the chip out, you should get Crosshair back.

He saw the way Tech would clam up and get tongue tied when Crosshair was mentioned. He remembered the way Tech had snapped at him on Salucamai about the chips. He’d leave the room when Wrecker would tell Echo and Omega stories about their time as cadets, the way 99 had brought them together and the way they became the squad they were today.

(Before.)

He saw the way Tech had barely put his inhibitor chip scanner down since their run-in with Rex, constantly fiddling and tinkering with it since Rex told them that the effects of the chip were reversible. Since Rex had given them hope that there was a chance they could get their brother back.

“I don’t understand.”

Hunter looked at Tech, who stared down at the device in his hands.

“You don’t understand what?”

“Why Crosshair?” Tech said slowly, brows furrowing. “All five of us have the chip. Why did only his work? I’ve been trying to figure it out. There’s no logic to it.”

“I don’t know,” Hunter said, having spent too much time asking himself and any higher power in the universe listening the same question. “Sometimes things don’t have a reason. Sometimes things… just happen. There’s not always a logical explanation.”

Tech scowled and his jaw clenched, obviously unsatisfied with the answer, but didn’t argue.

It was like I was watching someone else control my body from the inside. No matter how much I tried to scream, I couldn’t even open my mouth.

“If anything it feels like some kind of sick, cosmic joke,” Hunter finally said the words that had been plaguing him since the order came down and everything changed. “The one clone out of all of us who hated regs and following orders more than anything…”

I was only under its control for a couple of hours at most, but it still felt like a part of me had been ripped out. Sometimes I wake up and I still feel like I’m not myself.

“I hope he’s fighting it.”

Hunter jerked back at the venom in Tech’s tone. It was the most emotion he’d shown the whole conversation, and it was the first time he’d heard Tech sound truly angry about their brother. It was the first time since leaving Kamino that Tech had sounded anything other than indifferent and unperturbed about it all. The tone made him sound so similar to their brother that Hunter was almost surprised to look over and see goggles instead of a crosshair tattoo.

I can’t even imagine how the others might feel. The ones who have been under longer. How much of them are still left.

Tech turned to look at Hunter, finally, and Hunter felt his heart clench at the fire burning in Tech’s eyes.

“I hope he’s fighting back, like he used to,” Tech whispered. “If there’s even a little bit of our Cross’ika left in him, I hope he’s giving them hell.”

I don’t know the long term effects of the chip. I can’t imagine what that might do to someone’s mind.

Hunter thought about Rex, about the way he said he tried to fight the chip before being sucked under its control. That despite realizing what was happening, the split second where he realized Fives was right and this was Palpatine’s plan all along, he’d still been helpless to it’s pull before it dragged him under mentally kicking and screaming.

The order was to execute the Jedi for treason against the Republic, he’d said. But the order also said to execute any clone who refused to comply.

He thought about Crosshair and the way he’d consistently questioned Hunter about letting the Padawan go. The way he’d spit and yelled and called Hunter unfit and incapable, but never lifted a weapon toward them. He’d been angry and confused and lashed out like an frightened and injured tooka backed into a corner.

He did fight it, Hunter desperately wanted to tell his little brother. He already was, he wanted to say, because Crosshair may have yelled and argued and said things that made Hunter feel like he’d been stabbed through the chest, Crosshair never actually tried to stop them, let alone kill them.

But then he thinks of Crosshair in the hanger bay, his vod’ika, armor as blank and empty as the eyes that looked down the scope of the rifle as he shot down Wrecker and taunted Hunter without second thought, and he doesn’t know what to believe.

Once that chip finally comes out, I can’t guarantee how much of the Crosshair you knew will be left behind.

“I hope so, too,” he said instead, praying to the Maker and the Force and Manda and anyone who was listening that by the time they got to Crosshair there was still enough of their baby brother left to be saved.

~

(that bit with Rex and Cody is a reference to another fic I am currently writing that will be published... eventually idk)

[thepigeonsopinion]

So, "Hack San" was released...

The episode "Hack San" has finally been released and here I am now, about to go on and on about the episode :) But first let's do a small summary or synopsis of the episode!

Warning: Spoilers to the episode "Hack San"

Summary:

The episode starts off with Marinette trying to make up excuses to stay in Paris/home, instead of going to London to visit her Aunt. So far, all of her attempts have been failures. Marinette then has no choice but to leave Paris with her family. Meanwhile, Gabriel or Shadowmoth creates a new sentimonster with the name of Hack San, which is a virus that allows for Markov to be vulnerable to an akuma. Then, Marinette contacts Alya to meet her at the train station before she is to leave. Marinette gives Alya the Ladybug miraculous trusting her to protect Paris while she is gone. Alya has a chat with the kwami's, Tikki and Trixx, in which they tell her the ups and downs of being the holder of the Ladybug miraculous and the guardian of the miracle box. Alya returns to the park that she was hanging out at before Marinette contacted her. At the park, Alya starts to fuss over everyone's emotions, mainly if they are feeling any negative emotions. Meanwhile, Markov is effected by the virus and is akumatized by Shadowmoth and becomes Robustus. Robustus then (through the internet) takes control of people and orders them to give him their most prized possessions. While on the train, Marinette's parents are affected by Robustus, which leads to Marinette being captured by Robustus. It is then Alya's responsibility to protect Paris. Alya transforms into her version of Ladybug, and while she is trying to find her new super hero name she is met with Chat Noir. Chat Noir does not immediately trusts the new super heroine and suspects they are the villain. However, this distrust is cut short because of the akuma Robustus still being at large. Robustus orders everyone to capture Ladybug and Chat Noir. The super heroes hear a person crying for help and while Chat Noir is at first suspicious, Alya heads straight to where the civilian's voice was heard. This turns out to be a trap and the super heroes are forced to run into a building where they are also trapped by Robustus. Alya summons her Lucky Charm to aid her in this situation. Alya or Scarabella receives a frying pan. This leads her to think of a plan to manipulate Robustus to release the people's possessions in exchange for both her and Chat Noir. Robustus agrees to this and releases all of the objects and among those objects is Marinette who catches on quickly to the plan and uses the frying pan to release the akuma. The super heroes are released as well and Alya uses her Miraculous Ladybug. And as always, Paris is saved once again. A few days later, Marinette and her family are back from her trip and Alya suggest Marinette/Ladybug go talk to Chat Noir, and she does. Ladybug and Chat Noir have a talk about how someone knows about Ladybug's secret identity and Chat's new found fear that Ladybug might not be there anymore, in which Ladybug gives him the reassurance that she won't be going anywhere. And, the episode ends.

Yay! Another very detailed and unnecessary summary of the episode! Welp! It's too late now. :|

Anyway! Now onto my opinion or thoughts on the episode!

(Also I'm re-watching the episode as I do this so this might have some unnecessary details. Anyway, carry on!)

First things first the, I know that Marinette is trying to get out of going to London and staying in Paris, but I swear her excuses are getting weaker. I swear she had better excuses in the earlier seasons or is it just me? Not to mention, since Marinette is so desperate to stay in Paris she purposefully trips down the stairs. Damn the dedication and I mean, I know that Marinette needs to stay in Paris just in case, but she has left Paris like three times now, you would think that she would have a backup plan if anything happened in Paris when she wasn't there (and I'll talk about one of her solutions later on *cough cough Scarabella cough cough*). Also, Tom's desperation and persistence for Marinette to come on the trip is kinda amusing. And the not so subtle jabs at the aunt :0

Moving on! Ummm Nooroo and Dusuu you know that Gabriel is RIGHT there right? I mean he could probably hear what your saying. Also, Gabriel are you just deaf or did you not just hear what they said? Because their right behind you. When Shadowmoth made Hack San, was the weird "Haah" sound really necessary? Also, why does the virus, USB thingy low key look like Nino's shirt logo. Are they somehow connected? Or did they just run out of ideas for the design? (Not me being salty over a sentimonsters design) Why the fuck is this robot doing like three things at the same time? I know that he's a robot, but come on.

Hmmmm. No other option you say? What about bringing the Horse miraculous with you like in Startrain? Or use the cosmic suits that can legit let you fly around the world? Come on, let's be honest here giving Alya the Ladybug miraclulous wasn't the ONLY option. Claps to Alya for doing a fake doubting act, but in reality just trying to think of a new superhero name. You almost got me there Astruc, you almost made me thought that Alya had her doubts about taking over for Marinette, but in reality is just super excited to take over. Props to you my dude, props! Also, I'm not going to lie Alya all of your name ideas are kinda weak, I mean the fandom has better name ideas than you do, but then again that is to be expected. Props to the kwamis for putting all the pressure that Marinette has on her back and transferring it to Alya. Thank you for making Alya aware of all the pressure Marinette's under. Even if Alya's probably not going to bring it up and probably will just brush it off. Yes, Alya just keep telling your self that this weekend is going to be totally chill. Not to mention, Tikki being more supportive to Alya than to Marinette, whaaaaaaaaaaa- :0. Alya you just told yourself that this weekend was going to be chill why the heck are you making your life harder for yourself. To be honest, if your acting like this already you deserve whatever is coming for you. Marinette, honey, why the fuck do you need to right down 675 tips for Alya? I mean I get 33 tips even 40, but 675, really? Not to mention, the tip about laughing at Chat Noir's jokes even if they aren't funny just to make him happy, why the fuck do you need to keep him happy he could be mad, upset, or sad and I wouldn't give a fuck :p.

I will say this again, how the fuck does a multi-intelligent robot that is connected the world wide web, that is also doing at least 4 things at the same time get tempted and corrupted by a virus by clicking on a cute kitty cat ad. HOW!?! EXPLAIN THAT TO ME!?!

Okay, so remember when we thought we were actually going to get a canon Marcenial moment. Hahaha welp Astruc you've done it again you have crushed our shipping dreams again. I hope your proud of yourself. Also, the most precious possession to Marc is his and Nathaniel's manga/comic, really?

Damn the amount of times this girl makes us and Trixx second guess that she's doubting herself, like she's done it three times now. Not to mention, why is her ladybug suit more detailed than Marinette's hmmm? I mean, don't get me wrong I like the design, but why can't Marinette have a detailed suit like this? Also why is Alya acting like The Owl? *Hoot Hoot!* I also just realised that the kwamis are a bit territorial, well not Tikki, but Plagg and Trixx have proven themselves to be a bit territorial of their holders.

I love Chat Noir's distrust to Alya as Ladybug because this shows a different side of Chat Noir that Paris doesn't see, but does Alya see this and realize how much of a ass he is? Nope. Also, not going to lie, his distrust kinda amuses me. Carrying on! Chat Noir, I can hear the toxic jealousy from here my dude, you might want to tone it down a bit, you've got a audience here you know. You know, I was expecting him to say his most prized possession was Ladybug, or even his kwami, Plagg, but I wasn't expecting him to say croquettes. OMG! GUYS! IT'S HAPPENING! CHAT IS FINALLY BEING CAUTIOUS FOR ONCE INSTEAD OF IMMEDIATELY JUMPING INTO TROUBLE!!! Also, Chat Noir being responsible whaaaaaaa- :0. Ummm, why the fuck did they just run into a building, when they legit could've jumped out of that mess, like seriously why isn't anyone using their head today?

Moving on! Why the heck is most of this episode just Alya trying to think of a super hero name like seriously, I know it's supposed to be some kinda of gag, but it's starting to get a bit annoying. Chat Noir being supportive to Alya: *slow clap*. When Alya's whole plan is to just to leave everything up to Marinette, Me: Wow! I TOtAlLy didn't see that coming! Hehehe Chat Noir with a pot over his head. You know, I thought upset Chat Noir was enough for this episode, but now we get sad Chat Noir and Ladybug reassuring him, just wow, you have out done yourself Astruc.

AND! That's that end of the episode! So all in all, this episode wasn't that bad? But it wasn't my favorite (maybe one of my least favorite tbh :0) Mainly, because of the appearance of Scarabella and ladybug catering to Chat Noir needs. This is probably mainly because I'm a bit biased, but in my opinion and I will repeat in MY OPINION I don't think Alya really deserves to get the miraculous. I mean yeah, Marinette has given her trust to her and has told her that she is Ladybug, but has she really done anything to show that she deserves that trust. If I'm being honest she has shown more reasons for Marinette not to trust her. One of the reasons being that Alya doesn't fully trust Marinette herself, and the other being that she disobeyed Marinette by telling Nino that she is still Rena Rouge and not telling her that she did so.

Anyway! Those are most of my thought's on this episode. This has been a loooong week for me with the addition of school now. So expect me to be posting more on the weekends than on weekdays.

Anywho! I hope everyone has a great rest of their day. And always remember...

But that's just my opinion (・ε・)

(This week has been soooo tiring and with the edition of this episode and a sneak peek of a new episode coming up, I know it's only beginning. *smiles through the pain :)*)

[ltleflrt]

As someone who started watching parts of the show only through tumblr since the 300 episode special and realizing they'd never give cas the importance he deserves, i'm glad to say i've watched the last season of spn as it's meant to: through gifs of scenes that have cas in it and tumblr info. Don't need or want anymore than that or to ever watch the last two episodes and I recommend this to everyone.

I’m going to only do this once, and then future negativity (no matter how valid, cuz it’s ALL valid) is going to be deleted without being posted.

I am also devastated by the way things ended.  I am upset that Dean didn’t get to enjoy a few more decades of life, and to honor Castiel’s sacrifice by living his life to his best ability, especially since that job application on his bedroom desk hinted that he was probably getting ready to give up hunting.  I am upset that Eileen wasn’t even mentioned, and that Sam’s loss of someone he cared about besides Dean was brushed aside so casually, because in this whole show, Sam only ever had Dean and Bobby and Eileen, and everyone else was Dean’s Friend.  I am REALLY FUCKING PISSED THAT MISHA COLLINS WAS WRITTEN OUT OF THE FINALE. 

I have been crying off and on for days, I feel physically ill.  Sleeping is a cosmic joke, and today my eyes are so red and itchy I look like I have pink eye.

I. AM. IN. MOURNING.

And I cope by looking for the good things to focus on.

I am NOT going to rant at the writers.  I’m in the “Corporate Shenanigans Fucked Us Over” camp.  Other than Misha’s complete absence, I am not surprised that I didn’t get Dean’s half of the love confession, and Castiel’s was a complete surprise even after having been privy to leaks about it, because I had resigned myself back in S13 to quiet text, never loud confirmation.

I am NOT going to engage in hate.  A bit of sass may slip in now and then, because I’m only human, but I’m not going to be reblogging or posting anything truly angry, no matter how much I agree.

I WILL be searching for the positive in what we got.  I WILL be building kind headcanons around it.  I WILL continue to love Supernatural to a truly stupid extent.

THIS IS MY FUCKING SHOW.  IT IS STUPID AND CAMPY, YES, BUT IT IS ALSO PROFOUND AND KIND AND FUNNY AND POIGNANT AND ADVENTUROUS AND DESTIEL IS FUCKING CANON.

Mourn in your own way.  I respect everyone’s rage and devastation, even on the points I don’t necessarily agree with.  We all lost something, even the people who didn’t hate the finale still have to grapple with no longer having new Supernatural episodes ever again.

So please, I beg of you all... keep the negativity out of my inbox, out of the comments on my positive posts. 

And for those of you out there who haven’t watched Supernatural, please don’t let this backlash stop you from checking it out.  Overall, it’s worth the time.  You’re just going to be blessed with not having to watch the finale with the same high expectations the rest of us did, and it probably won’t be so devastating for you.  You’re very lucky that way.  Embrace the gift.  Supernatural Is wonderful, and worthy of love.

[tessatechaitea]

Justice Society of America #10 (1993)

Fact: Golden Age heroes didn't have penises.

I was starfished on my bedroom floor tonight staring at the ceiling and thinking about how in my teens and twenties, I could revel in it, thinking, "Who am I? Who will I become? What does life have in store for me?" But a grown ass man doing that simply thinks, "This is it, isn't it?" At least I can lose myself in reading comic books I've already read and which I didn't really enjoy that much the first time. It might sound like a waste of time but it gives my life meaning! The most shallow of meanings, sure. But at least I'm not growing old watching conservative news because I need anything at all to light my passion. I'll say this about Fox News: they understand how old people are so bored they'll watch the dumbest shit and then get mad about it. I know other people who aren't old also watch Fox News. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with them. I guess they have fears and hatreds I hope I'll never truly understand. I just don't understand watching Fox News (or any of the other non-propaganda 24 hour news sites). People do understand there are channels which show programs that make you laugh or feel merry or that simply entertain the other non-lizard parts of your brain, right? How do you pick Fox News when you can watch Sci-fi or Buzzr Comedy Central or the Ru-Paul's Drag Race all day channel? I just realized that the people who watch Fox News basically use Twitter the same way. The majority of my feed are funny people so even when they're discussing politics, it's always entertaining (or fiercely intelligent because witty people are smart. Dumb people think they're witty (see Mike Huckabee)). But when I check out the Twitter feeds of conservatives I know, at best they'll retweet a sports tweet sandwiched between forty retweets of Ben Shapiro and Dinesh Souza. Maybe they think some of the right wing pundits they follow are funny. But calling somebody a mean name or tagging everything "liberal tears" isn't funny. It's the kind of funny that the bully's weasely sidekick guffaws over and then says, "You tell 'em, Jimmy!" Speaking of things bullies would say, it's now time for me to criticize Len Strazewski's Justice Society. Previously, some old fart named Kulak made everybody in the world begin to hate. But they aren't just randomly hating everybody else. They really seem to be bonding over their hatred for the Justice Society of America. Is this story a metaphor about me and my hatred of this comic book? Because that would be a terrible metaphor seeing as how I don't really hate this comic. I wish I did though! I'm old and I need to feel passion! I bet if I hadn't dropped cable eighteen years ago, I'd be addicted to Fox News too! No, I wouldn't be. I'm as liberal as you can be while still making offensive jokes. So not really that liberal, I guess? Maybe I'm socially, economically, and politically liberal. But I'm a complete asshole when it comes to punchlines. Don't get me wrong! I don't make offensive jokes at the expense of people different than me. I make offensive jokes about myself and those Goddamned fucking babies. Fuck those parasitic monsters. This issue begins with Starman finally reappearing.

It really wasn't exciting enough for an announcement of his return. He's just another half-balding old guy. But it lets me talk about the DC Universe show, Stargirl!

I decided to watch Stargirl because what else am I going to do with my life? Finish reading Gravity's Rainbow? I mean, I am going to do that now that I'm done re-reading those awful Lando Calrissian books. But I can't spend all of time reading Pynchon! Just too much of it! I mean, I'm only 18 pages into Gravity's Rainbow (which is further than I've ever gotten on my previous three attempts!) and I'd estimate I don't understand 5% of the words he's used. And that's me being an English Lit major who has been a voracious reader his entire 48 years (minus the ones where I couldn't read yet. Like ten or something?). I was in bed reading and didn't have a dictionary at hand so I just powered through. But I think I need to go back through and learn all of those words so I can impress the local Starbucks barista! Or are people not impressed when you use a word they have nearly zero chance of knowing and don't know you enough to keep the conversation going by asking you what that means and instead just smile and nod and glance occasionally at the tip jar? Anyway, so I've watched three episodes so far and I'll tell you how I feel about it after I mention how I've actually watched four episodes. The first episode I watched, I was impressed with because Courtney was already palling around with a bunch of legacy JSA members and the Injustice Society was trying to tackle the "Who is Stargirl?" problem and I watched it thinking, "This is really impressive how they decided to start in the middle of the story like this. I like it!" Then I went to watch episode two and I was confused because it didn't seem to follow after the previous episode. So I kept thinking, "Maybe this is a flashback?" And then eighteen minutes into it, I thought, "Maybe I didn't watch the pilot episode. I'd better check." And I started watching the first episode which I totally hadn't seen. So I guess I started with Episode 7 or something. Here are some of my tweet-thoughts on the show for those who don't follow me on Twitter (why don't you follow me on twitter? What is wrong with you? Is it because you don't know I'm @GrunionGuy?): Tweet #1: "Sometimes you think maybe you're having inappropriate thoughts but then you check to make sure the actress playing a fifteen year old Stargirl is actually 21 and then you breathe a sigh of relief and think, 'I won't be cancelled today! Unless I tweet this experience, probably.'" Tweet #2: "Sometimes you think maybe you're having inappropriate thoughts but then remember it's okay to fuck a car that's been converted into a giant robot with Luke Wilson inside of it." Tweet #3: "3rd episode of Stargirl begins with a dying white woman's final wish to her white husband that he make the world safe for their white son. She dies and he goes out into the enormous hedge maze garden of his mansion to scream into the sky about the injustice of it all. All in all, a pretty good villain origin!" That third tweet was the only one that really makes any sort of socially acceptable commentary on the show. Saying things like "Stargirl's butt doesn't look like my mouth should be inside of it because she's fifteen although the actress is twenty-one so maybe it actually does look like that?" aren't the greatest things to admit even if you're just joking (which I am but just adding this statement makes it sound like I'm not but I totally am (that "totally" doesn't help but I assure you, I'm joking (did the hole just get deeper?))). I mean, sure, her body is super fit because she's a super hero (or will be?). But she has such a baby face! And even at twenty-one, she's just a baby! If I were younger, I'd totally have a crush on her. But I'm 48 and I just don't consider young women proper targets for my sexual deviance anymore. The only interaction I should have with young women these days is warning them against going out to the summer camp at the lake where that boy drowned so many years ago. The girls I had a crush on when I was younger (Christina Applegate (Kelly Bundy), Winona Ryder (Veronica Sawyer), and Stacie Mistysyn (Caitlin Ryan)), I have even more of a crush on now. Judging by the crushes I've had my whole life and not society's stereotype of women, women definitely get better looking as they get older. And probably as I get older. I'm sure that's part of it although I like to think that fifteen year old me would still look at these nearly fifty (or maybe fifty? I'm not so obsessed I know their ages but they're all around my age anyway) year old women and think, "Holy fuck mommy." I'm sorry for that last comment. But I'm only sorry to God not anybody who was reading this. Oh, I forgot to mention that Joel McHale is the original Starman (I mean original in the show although he's Sylvester Pemberton who was never Starman but only Skyman although in the show he was at one point the Star-Spangled Kid and Luke Wilson does mention Ted Knight at some point). And he's funny in his death scene just like he should be because I've obviously decides Sylvester is Jeff Winger's new superhero secret identity alias. Starman heads off with his Cosmic Buttplug to stop Kulak in Gotham City. He doesn't know it yet but the rest of his pals are currently battling Kulak and probably losing. Although Kulak is even older than they are so maybe it's a fair fight. I'm just surprised that a comic book where old men battle other old men has made it ten issues.

I think some editor was fired last issue and the new editor's only job was to make sure it didn't look like Thunderbolt had been speared through the asshole.

Although this editor seemed to think it was okay to have Hawkgirl fucked from behind by Kulak.

I hope this isn't a terrible conservative take on women that exposes how terrible I am at sex but even mind-controlled, I can't imagine licking a woman's shoulder would elicit that response. Although she could be "Ummming" from his pee-hee in her bee-boo.

I know conservative talking points are generally fucking idiotic but Ben Shapiro somehow thinking women can get "too wet" from sexual excitement might be the most hilariously idiotic. I don't think I've been with a woman who was all, "Yes! Yes! Lick my shoulder blade!" and I then I got super into it and then suddenly she was all, "Nope. Too wet. This isn't working for me anymore. I need a doctor, I guess?" Who am I kidding? I know I've never been with a woman who did that because that would mean I've had to have been with a woman! Also, women get wet down there? What's that about? Is it because the vagina cries at the sight of the penis? Kulak takes away all of their super powers but I guess he forgets that Wildcat doesn't have any so I'm hoping Wildcat just punches him in the face soon. Although that Starman bit probably was a hint at how the coming fight might end. You know, with Starman shoving his Cosmic Buttplug into Kulak's third eye, if you know what I'm saying. You probably do because I called it a Cosmic Buttplug. I should try to be more subtle. Kulak's entire purpose is to get revenge on the Justice Society for defeating him way back in 1940. Can't even one super villain just accept defeat and move on with their lives? Or are writers just always going to be so inherently lazy that they'll never give up the crutch of the villain attacking the hero directly out of revenge for that one single time they tried to actually commit a crime and were stopped? The JSA puts up a fight that helps to drain Kulak's power but it isn't until Starman arrives and does that thing I mentioned with his Cosmic Buttplug that Kulak is defeated.

This is the grossest orgasm I've ever seen and my computer is riddled with viruses from all of the previous ones I've watched.

After Kulak's defeat, Jesse Quick wraps up the issue with her super hero dissertation which is less a dissertation and more of a thorough cleaning of all of their asses with her tongue. She's all, "I didn't really do much research or define heroes too good but the Justice Society of America are my heroes so I deserver a degree, right?" Justice Society of America #10 Rating: B. This comic book was as average as they get. I suppose that should garner a C grade but a B grade just seems to say decent but mediocre. By the time I get down to a C grade, I feel like the comic book needs a lot more faults than "I don't really care about stories with heroes who are having strokes during the battles." It's a valid criticism but it's probably too subjective for a critical review. I know, I know! When has that ever stopped me before? Well, I feel charitable today. It probably has something to do with Mars being so close to the full moon earlier this week. My blood is all riled up and wacky!

[itonlyhappenstome]

Coronavirus Lockdown UK Homeschooling Day 3.

Just FYI…. It would be in order of weight — Flash, Captain America, Roadman and then Janet (who is a boy but identifies with a girl and looks a bit like Boris Johnson).

Alex did cry a bit when he thought we were serious as Flash is his Guinea pig, but we explained and made him feel better — so I think actually we can add life skills and bereavement counselling to the list of todays lessons!

Well we are now on Day 3, and am I the only person who wakes up every morning and hears the Big Brother Geordie voice over “Its Day 3 in the Hindle Lockdown household!”. Further lockdowns imposed so we are only allowed to leave the house for shopping and pharmacy and for our daily walk. It is getting slightly more familiar, so the initial anxiety is changing to a standard brand of predictable panic. It would be better I think if we knew how long it will go on. The stretching uncertainty is draining in itself, I do not whether to use reserves now or not.

What is not changing though is my discomfort with being completely accessible to all members of the family 100% of the time. Whatever I am doing, want to do, need to do, in the middle of doing…. is secondary to the needs, wants, desires, requirements and demands of any member of the family at any given moment on demand. And if I act annoyed and frustrated because I am in the middle of doing my own work and do not want to watch a trick on the trampoline, or have a chat about the latest news update, or peel a fucking apple/get a glass of water or anything else that my family members are capable of doing themselves or can wait until I am free to do— or even politely enquiring if it is a convenient time rather than EXPECTING it, then I am the grumpy arsehole.

Every day seems to bring different emotions, and it is a roller coaster, not always bad, not always good, not always familiar, but it is fascinating how it is evolving and changing, and seeing how we are coping. I have reduced my expectations and accepted I am not super mum, or a teacher, and that no-one is finding this easy — and that has helped a lot. Also continuing to be selective with whats app groups and reading has helped. And Gin continues to be a constant support….

So last night, as we have more time on our hands we started finally watching Black Mirror….. No idea what series we started on, but it was the episode where the Prime Minister was made to shag an actual Pig live on air in order to save the equivalent of Kate Middleton.

My husband and I had a very highbrow debate as to whether we would be ok with this depending on the person (Boris and Trump would get no sympathy from Team Hindle — but we would organise something nice for the Pig afterwards as compensation…), and we felt really sorry for the pig in Black Mirror — why did no-one care about the pig?!? And then realised we had no idea if 10 Downing Street had a back garden and had a moment of awe and appreciation for Google maps and technology, as how had our minds never been expanded before to ponder these subjects and then to have the ability to see the garden online! Amazing! We didn’t look though as we were pissed and forgot.

Obviously feeling like we had connected on a new spiritual level (and I am fairly sure the cosmic mood enhancers Brew Dog, Red Wine and Gin helped open my husbands 3rd eye also…) when we went to bed, my husband laid his head on mine, and after a moments silence and bewilderment I asked what the actual F he was doing and could he move as it was hurting. And he answered that he was trying to connect us in our dreams, and that maybe as we were more in tune emotionally now we could do that (?), and he was trying to transfer an Eagle through his brain channels to mine.

You know sometimes you are a bit “Are you joking and I am going to look a twat taking this seriously…? Or “are you being serious and I am going to be making you feel like an arse if I think you are joking?” well I went for the latter and my husband rolled over in a huff muttering that my dream tribe were not going to be safely guided by the imaginary dream Eagle and the disjointed feeling of this tribe was on my conscience, he had at least tried and could sleep soundly.

He didn’t remember the Eagle last night. I am surprised actually I did, as was clearly a bit drunk by the way I tried to brush my teeth with Germolene this morning…

So, homeschool Day 3, we are lowering expectations and trying to find creative ways to pass the time, as we are all just a bit bored and “meh” with it all. Just living to Easter Holidays on Friday — which will mean no change to captivity for us, but at least we can drop the pretence of trying to fill the day with meaningful and educational shit and go be demotivated alone in our electronic device worlds without judgment or guilt.

Started well at the crack of 10.30am with locking the kids outside in the trampoline, even put the older one in her school sports kit (weirdly felt I should get extra parenting credit for that!). Parenting win before lunchtime I feel!

The younger ones needed to expend some energy and frustration so I had them stabbing bits of concrete with child friendly IKEA knives (ok vaguely child friendly, I am sure any metal object when used as a stabby thing is not that child friendly actually in hindsight) to free up “stuff” inside. And one of them looks like a bell end with infected foreskin — so that was amusement for the kids and also adults alike!

DIE METAPHORICAL COVID 19 CONCRETE!

Laughing childishly at what looks like a Bell End with infected foreskin (actually a pirates face…) We then combined Biology, Politics, Science, Maths and potentially Home economics with time with the Guinea pigs! Firstly we had a life lesson/Biology by explaining why Janet was dancing on the face of Captain America and that it was not dancing, or bullying (ok well it is probably classed as bullying unless you are in Prison and then it is “love”).The Guinea Pigs helped us with Politics as we showed the children the information about the lockdown, what it meant, and there may be a food shortage so we must not waste food. So they weighed the Guinea Pigs to see in which order we should eat them in the event of a food shortage — which enabled them to have Maths, Science and potentially Home Economics! Epic!

Just FYI…. It would be in order of weight — Flash, Captain America, Roadman and then Janet (who is a boy but identifies with a girl and looks a bit like Boris Johnson).

Alex did cry a bit when he thought we were serious as Flash is his Guinea pig, but we explained and made him feel better — so I think actually we can add life skills and bereavement counselling to the list of todays lessons!

I did send my husband out with the children on a walk with a picnic, and stated that for everyones sanity, health and well being I was imposing myself on an hours complete self isolation. The. Walls. Are. Closing. In. I actually shrieked earlier when my husband shut the door of the room I was in — the walls started moving in on me!

He has gone out for essential shopping now, Tonic Water. Maybe I should have asked him to look for fruit and vegetables, but my brain has started to turn to mush.

Stay safe everyone….!

[mittensmorgul]

Today on the TNT loop, we went through 9.10, 9.11, and 9.12, and it was a lot, considering the themes of what’s happening in current canon while waiting for 15.05 to air tonight.

Full disclosure, I started typing up this post this morning while watching 9.10, and then my computer helpfully did a windows update and restarted itself, so I lost everything I’d been typing. It wasn’t too much, but heck if I can actually remember what I’d written exactly, but I think looking at all three of these episodes together is possibly more useful anyway, so here we go.

We’ve just been talking about 9.10 and the “imaginary” cheerleader case Gadreel had Sam working on inside his own mind, in relation to the vampire case Sam and Dean worked in 15.04, so we’re already primed to look deeper at what was going on in this episode. For anyone who doesn’t recall, this was ALSO the episode during which Dean completely confessed to a freshly re-angeled Cas exactly why he’d kicked him out of the bunker back in 9.03.

At that time, Dean was being horrifically manipulated by the angel he’d trusted on false pretenses and Cas’s word, in a perfect storm with his own desperation to do anything to save Sam. It took this long for Dean to realize the full extent of Gadreel’s betrayal, and it led directly to Kevin’s death.

So we have manipulation, a larger cosmic power essentially holding Sam hostage, Dean and Cas finally mending this situation between them and confessing the truth and the reasons behind the lies and anger. Obviously the situation is not exactly the same in s15, but the themes are all there. Here, have a few quotes from the episode to show you what I mean.

[DEAN stops his packing and his face melts in emotion as he looks to his friend. Camera pans behind CASTIEL's back and when it comes out on his other side the men are sitting at the table and DEAN has just told CASTIEL the long, hurtful story.]

DEAN:Sammy was dying. What was I supposed to do? CASTIEL: You let an angel possess him? DEAN: He said it was the only way, and I believed him. Now Sam's gone. Kevin's... CASTIEL: Dean, I'm sorry. DEAN: Yeah, well... Sorry don't pay the bills, does it? It sure as hell ain't gonna bring Kevin back. We got to find that son of a bitch. CASTIEL: Dean. If the angel possessing Sam isn't Ezekiel, then who is it? DEAN: A dead man walking. CASTIEL: What, you're gonna destroy him? DEAN: Damn right. CASTIEL: You kill an angel, its vessel dies, too. DEAN: Think I don't know that? If I don't end Sam and that halo burns him out and I... God, I was so damn stupid. CASTIEL: You were stupid for the right reasons. DEAN: Yeah, like that matters. CASTIEL: It does. Sometimes that's all that matters.

They’re still not completely getting to the heart of this issue, though, because there was still Plot™ to deal with that would require them to have this unresolved-- Dean would need to continue to blame himself for everything, Cas would need to feel compelled to stay by Sam’s side to ensure his healing, feeling that he could be “useful” to Dean by taking over Sam Protection Detail, and Sam will need to fully feel the betrayal and not even begin to understand the core issue that led to all of this in the first place to drive that wedge deep enough for Dean to take the Mark, sacrificing himself to protect the ones he loves.

Which is thematically what Cas felt he did trading his own life for Jack’s in 14.08, which of course Dean still doesn’t know about. But the most important thing underlying all this s9 drama is the element of manipulation. Because Dean (and Sam, and Cas) right now believe they are making their own choices in a world without Chuck’s influence, and yet the narrative as a whole is probably being more actively manipulated by Chuck than at any time in their history. It’s this unawareness that’s giving Chuck’s influence the power to manipulate them in the first place.

GADREEL spits out angrily:  How many more lives do I have to take? METATRON: It's not your place to ask questions. It is your place to obey. You want to be my second in command? Prove you're ready. Prove you're loyal. Or don't. Walk away. Go back to being Gadreel the traitor, the sap, heaven's longest-running joke.

Aah, and all along Gadreel had been manipulated by Metatron, s9′s answer to s15′s Chuck.

GADREEL: You have changed, Abner. ABNER: Yeah, well, I was a crappy angel. I was petulant. I deserted my post. I spent 700 years in heaven's lockup. I... No. Doesn't matter. We're a long way from Thaddeus now. GADREEL: I killed him, Abner. I got our revenge. ABNER: I w – I wish you hadn't done that. GADREEL: But why? He tortured us – you most of all. ABNER: I remember. And I remember you were always there to put me back together. GADREEL: We were friends. ABNER: We are friends. And the fall, it's our second chance. We can forget our old hates, who we were. GADREEL: It's not that easy. ABNER: Yes, it is. Look at me. I'm happy. GADREEL: And your vessel – is he happy? ABNER: He was an abusive ass. But I love my family, and they love me. I'm not a wise man, Gadreel. But I know this. The key to happiness? It's getting the one thing you want most and never letting it go. GADREEL: And what if there's a price? ABNER: There's always a price. But it's worth paying.

Abner paid with his life, because Gadreel had been manipulated and lied to by Metatron. Gadreel thought this was part of a grand plan, but it had been Metatron’s demand for loyalty and obedience, forcing Gadreel to literally kill possibly his only friend in the world, the one angel who knew his true story and loved him anyway. TO MANIPULATE GADREEL SPECIFICALLY into doing Metatron’s bidding, cutting off all other avenues to freedom and vindication.

Which... is kinda what Dean’s going through right now, you know? He thinks he’s free, and has cut ties with Cas in a horrific way. I mean, he didn’t literally kill Cas in 15.03, but tell me that wasn’t a metaphorical stab to the heart?

DEAN: Why are you doing this, huh? We fought together. And I trusted you. I thought you were one of the good guys! GADREEL: I am doing what I have to do. DEAN: Well, so am I.

Poor Gadreel, like Dean now, was doing what he thought he had to do. Like Rowena dying to heal the rift into Hell, because she thought it’s what she had to do-- right down to her belief in the prophecy that Sam would kill her being the entire reason the spell worked at all. Like all of them believing that Chuck is gone, because it’s what they feel they have to do to “move on.” And AAARGH.

*hears Dean’s voice yelling in the distance from 4.22 IT’S ALL A BUNCH OF LIES, YOU POOR, STUPID SONOFABITCH*

CASTIEL: Uh... I'm okay. DEAN: Good. Good. That's, uh... So, what, you just change the batteries out, power back up? It's that easy? CASTIEL: It wasn't easy, but I didn't have a choice. DEAN: Yeah. Well, that's usually how it goes. Cas... I'm sorry. CASTIEL: About what? DEAN: Kickin' you out of the bunker. That's, uh... You know, not telling you about Sam. CASTIEL: You thought his life was at stake. DEAN: Yeah, I got played. CASTIEL: I thought I was saving Heaven. I got played, too. DEAN [with a weak smile]: So you're sayin' we're both a couple of dumbasses? CASTIEL [gently smiling back]: I prefer the word "trusting." Less dumb. Less ass.

And then Cas learns the truth of who Gadreel is:

CASTIEL: It's his fault – all of it. The corruption of man, demons, hell. God left because of him. The archangels – the apocalypse. If he hadn't been so weak, none of it would have happened. [CASTIEL gets white hot with anger and starts to shake the unconscious GADREEL] You ruined the universe, you damn son of a bitch! DEAN [grabs CASTIEL and swings him around to face him.]: Cas! Cas! Hey! CASTIEL: Dean, he – DEAN: I get it. But you got to chill.

And obviously NONE OF THIS was actually Gadreel’s fault. He was manipulated by Lucifer, and really, who among them HASN’T been directly manipulated into doing terrible things by Lucifer? And really, can we now say that all of this-- every last bit of it-- was Chuck’s original manipulation, and just another go-around of his favorite horrific story?

Because Gadreel may have been the one to stand aside for Lucifer to enter the garden, but in addition to all the pain and guilt, this was the beginning of Humanity making their own choices and bearing the consequences of those choices. You can’t have true joy without true suffering, and only humans can experience either. The “paradise” of the garden that Metatron had used to lure Gadreel into his service, the promise of the return to that idealistic utopia, was about OBEDIENCE and never about FREEDOM. This is what Abner had tried to show Gadreel, and he was killed for it. And isn’t that just the way Chuck’s stories always go?

Crowley tells Dean that he’s not willing to die for any of them, but then... he literally stands between Sam and Gadreel:

GADREEL: Hello, Sam. SAM: Who are you? CROWLEY: His name is Gadreel, the original chump. GADREEL: Was a chump. And now? I'm going to be the one that leads my kind back to heaven. I'm going to be a hero. But you, demon, for all your chatter, you will always be a coward. You should be running. [CROWLEY punches GADREEL in the face and GADREEL swings back hurling him over the table. GADREEL starts to kick him and SAM comes to his rescue only to be thrown backwards over the table himself. GADREEL straddles him and starts to strangle him.]

Gadreel tries to manipulate Sam, warning him that he still might die if Sam casts him out, but Sam does it anyway.

SAM: So what? I was willing to die. And now... Kevin... [His eyes fill with guilty tears] DEAN [strongly]: No. That is not on you. Kevin's blood is on my hands, and that ain't ever getting clean. I'll burn for that. I will. But I'll find Gadreel. And I will end that son of a bitch. But I'll do it alone. SAM: What's that supposed to mean? DEAN: Come on, man. Can't you see? I'm... I'm poison, Sam. People get close to me, they get killed...or worse. You know, I tell myself that I-I – I help more people than I hurt. And I tell myself that I'm – I'm doing it all for the right reasons, and I – I believe that. But I can't – I won't... Drag anybody through the muck with me. Not anymore. [DEAN looks pleadingly at his brother] SAM: Go. I'm not gonna stop you.

And there we go, in a season that began with Charlie’s voiceover saying something to the effect of, “There’s nothing the Winchesters can’t do if they stick together” over the opening chords of “Who Do You Love.” Which, at this Midseason Finale point  had to be so completely broken. Dean is convinced they can’t work together.

Wait, who wrote this episode? OH RIGHT, ANDREW DABB DID.

Can we see his pet themes at work in s15 yet? I think we can.

With the MoC apparently set to make a reappearance in 15.05 tonight, I’m thinking 9.11 will offer us some valuable insight into what Chuck is up to here. But also we know that Sam will be working with Cas even if Dean is still too messed up for a while, and this was the episode that really began to establish a friendship between Sam and Cas outside of Cas feeling responsible for Sam because of Dean.

And 9.12? Garth had abandoned them, abandoned Kevin, because he’d been bitten by a werewolf on a hunt and had been prepared to give in to that fate. And yet he’d been saved, found love, and found a family and purpose despite having believed he’d lost everything. He was still one of the good guys, even if he was a monster. And we saw the beginnings of the family theme that wouldn’t really have a chance to flourish until Dabb era:

Garth: Um...I know this may sound a little crazy, but... Maybe I could come back and hunt with you. I mean, with my werewolf mojo, we'd have an advantage. Dean: Yeah, look, Garth -- Garth: No, Dean. I want to make this right. I never should've left you guys, especially Kevin. Kevin was my friend. Friends don't do that. Dean: Well, hey, you said it -- you know, who cares where happiness comes from? Look, we're all a little weird, we're all a little wacky -- some more than others -- but...if it works, it works. You got something here. Okay? Even though they are werewolves. Or lycanthropes -- whatever. Don't let that go. Okay? You'll never forgive yourself. Besides, somebody's got to live to tell this damn story someday, and who better than you? Now shut up and come here.

 There was more I wanted to say as I was watching, but I think this covers most of the important stuff for now.

[desiree-harding-fic]

My friends and I were talking about Taakiz and my friend reminded me of that tattoo soulmate au where the first words your soulmate ever says to you is tattooed on your wrist. Kravitz wrist would say "Hey thug I'm gonna tentacle your dick."

OMG I LOVE SOULMATEAUs to DEATH

Iactually have a lot of thoughts about this. Because while I love the idea ofKravitz walking around for his whole life with “hey thug what’s your name?I’m about to tentacle your dick” on his literal body, there’s also the little detail ofthis conversation when Kravitz was first introduced in his Crystal golem bodyin Episode Two of the arc:

[ID: An image from TAZ Transcripts,describing an interaction between Taako and an unnamed crystal golem. Taako’sfirst line to the golem is “hail and well met!” Griffin describes thegolem turning its head to look at Taako, and Taako says: “My name is Taako,and you look like you’re made of salt!” End ID]

Sothere’s a few ways you could go. There have been a lot of good fics already ofthe first words being along the dick-tentacle theme, such as this one, and this one, and I think there are probably otherssquirled around in AO3 somewhere. (Side note: goddamn I’ve read a lot offanfiction).

I think Krav’s first words to Taako arepretty unequivocally: “Well this is hardly fair” at the end of episode 35or “ Well this is gonna be a lot easier than I thought. “ at the beginningof episode 36, depending on how you feel he was addressing the boys.Possibly “My Name’s Kravitz” if you consider the first words as the onesthey say to their match specifically and addressing a group doesn’t count,but…

This wasn’t supposed to be a breakdownof soulmate rules, was it? Alas. I get carried away thinking about loopholes inthese fun AUs.

If I was writing a canon-compliantsoulmate AU, I think I might do something a little like this:

*~*~*~*~*~*

Kravitz no longer has a body.

Notin the traditional sense, anyway. His body is long since gone, decayed awayinto ashes and dust, something from the earth and returned to the earth just assurely as he is dead. His soul-construct, that projection of his essence thatextends from the powers he was given by his Queen is a reflection of who he wasin life (with a few tweaks, of course). But that’s just it. There are tweaks. His soul can be assigned to anythingfrom the shape of a human man to a collection of raw material.

So when he pops into existence in theAstral Plane one day, pulls himself out of his soul-form and into the shape ofthe Grim Reaper, some two-thousand-odd years after enlisting in the Queen’sservice, and something is different, he notices right away.

There is something on his wrist.

Words.

Now, to be completely fair: Kravitz isfamiliar with the concept of soulmates. Even in his day, there were matches,people who were meant for each other. Kravitz envied the romanticism of it inlife, the balance of it. Souls made for each other.

But.

He’d never had any words on his wrist,up his forearm, curling up onto his hand. There was never anything there.

For a while, he thought perhaps it wasa fluke. After all, perhaps he was older than his soulmate. When he was achild, he would look to his wrist every morning when he awoke to see if wordshad appeared overnight, if his soulmate had just been born.

They were never there.

Ten,twenty years went by, long enough that he felt skeevy even thinking of having asoulmate that much younger than he was - how long would it be until they couldeven carry on a half-equal conversation? - and the words had never appeared,and Kravitz. Well. Kravitz gave up hoping.

It was a point of contention in life,sure, but he brushed it off as best he could. He played his music and he wrotemore, and he got up in front of groups of rag-tag troubadours and tried hishand at leading them - 

And then he died.

It was almost a relief. He foundhimself at the conclusion that his soul belonged to the Raven Queen, and whatwords could ever encapsulate that? And no mortal love could compare to thefeeling of his soul protected and bound up in power by a goddess. Soulmates areof no concern in comparison.

But today, after two thousand somethingyears… 

Words.

They’re there, on his dark skin when hematerializes false flesh, in what looks almost like silver ink, runninglong-ways up his arm. They’re pretty, kind of scripty and scrawly, and when hevanishes his flesh they’re carved into the bone, just in the same place, likean engraving. He takes his left hand, flesh covered, and runs it over askeletal right arm. The engraving is strange under his fingers.

Four little words. So unassuming.

Hetells his Queen, his goddess everything.But he does not tell her about this. What would he even say? He is not alive.His soul has already been given away. And what kind of cruel, cosmic joke is it for someone to be born inhis world, and to be destined for him, two thousand years after the end of hismortal life?

He doesn’t say anything to her, but hegets the sense that somehow she knows. And how can she not? She shaped his soulfrom the moment it left his body. She has to know everything about him. Whatdoes he think he’s hiding?

He works it off. 

But the words don’t ever leave hismind.

See,the thing about soulmates is they always meet. The conversations spelled outsecurely on a person aren’t hypotheticals, they’re true. They will happen, one day. Kravitz pretendsto forget the words, and tries not to listen for them every single day of hisunlife after the day they arrived.

The greetings were always the worstones, truly. So vague, so many possibilities for misunderstanding. But common,oh so common. At least Kravitz’s is more specific than a simple “hello.”At least very few people greet him in his line of work.

Not that he cares.

Because he doesn’t.

Why should he?

*~*~*~*~*~*

Kravitzis having something of a night.

By which, he means it’s a good nightfor killing.

Mass thefts of souls from the AstralPlane is no laughing matter, and neither are the deaths of three of the mostpowerful necromancers he’s ever seen in his book, and the fact that they’re alltogether in this floating… lab/nightmare funhouse means that Kravtiz can’tafford to lose.

Thething is, though, Kravitz is bored.

He’s so bored, he could die again. Twothousand years will do it to you. Swinging a scythe around gets old, he has toadmit. So sue him if he wants to raise the energy a little.

And in truth, going into a situationlike this, with three of the powerful necromancers on the loose along withLucas Miller - Kravitz won’t say he’s nervous, but he may be… feelingcautious. 

He finds them in a large chamber, giantcrystal formations that were once trees stretching up from the floor, and it’snot hard to pull himself together a Crystal body with which to get a look atthem, wearing truly uncanny outfits to keep from being Crystalized andwandering around the place with less direction than a stray dog.

These arethe planet’s most dangerous necromancers? The ones who hid their souls fromdeath for so long that they appeared in his book only a little over a decadeago, having died upwards of five times, every one of them?

They just seem like….

Well, like idiots.

They don’t seem intimidated by hisgolem form, laughing and joking until the tall, thin one, from what he can seeunder the suit, waves his… colleagues back a little bit, and steps forward,craning his head up to look at Kravitz’s would-be face. And then - 

“Hail and well met!”

It almost takes toolong to sink in, but when it does –

Oh dear.

This certainly isgoing to complicate things.

*~*~*~*~*~*

That turned out to be a little longer than I thought

And in true Desiree fashion, didn’t get to the hecking point XD. Alas.

I like this idea. I might let it stick around for a while.