#incorrect kindergarten

[younswnn]

[Nat and her daughter (Y/n) on parents day at school.]

Teacher : Okay! Now, how about words that ends with -ie!

Student 1 : Sweetie!

Student 2 : Cutie!

Teacher : Those are very good! Anyone else?

Y/n, without looking up, brushing her Barbie’s hair with a strange smile : Die.

Teacher : [looks at Natasha]

Nat, getting weird looks from the other parents, trying to save the situation : Or you could say Barbie, Y/n.

Y/n whilst taking off her Barbie’s head : Die.

[harringroveera]

Kindergarten teacher Steve (and his very concerned boyfriend) AU?

[cringycrisis]

Evil!Au Billy and Kid's relationship in a nutshell.

reference here: https://www.tumblr.com/incorrectquotesideas-deactivated/748596231280984064/person-a-youre-so-cute-when-youre-irritated?source=share

[lilac-rose-writes]

Monty: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Carla: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. Penny: I personally was created in a lab. Jerome: I just straight up spawned lol.

Principal: Why are you on the floor? Applegate: I'm depressed. Applegate: Also I was stabbed, can you call an ambulance?

Felix: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds. Ted: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!? Felix: No! Four to five seconds! Ted: Too late!!!

Kid: How petty can you get? Monty: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Ted: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY] Carla: What's that? Ted: Remorse code :( Carla: I'm even angrier now.

Jerome: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container. Cindy: The cow??? Buggs: What? Jerome: Cindy, W H Y?

Lily: Time for plan G. Kid: Don’t you mean plan B? Lily: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Billy: What about plan D? Lily: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Kid: What about plan E? Billy: I’m hoping not to use it. Cindy dies in plan E. Lily: I like plan E.

Felix: Can you keep a secret? Kid: Do you know anything about my life? Felix: No I do not. Good point.

Lunch Lady: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? Janitor: You mean literally or figuratively? Lunch Lady: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

Ted: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean? Felix: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans. Ted: but what’s the first worst thing? *Awkward pause* Felix: Teddy, they...they weren’t always orphans. Ted: ...

Nugget: Goodbye Pretty Lily! Goodbye Friend Billy! Goodbye Bully Buggs! Goodbye Mean Cindy! Goodbye Pretty Lily! Jerome: You said ‘bye Lily’ twice. Nugget: Nugget likes the Pretty Lily.

Buggs: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve. Kid: I think you mean cards. Buggs, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not.

Carla: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat* Ozzy: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents Carla: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you Monty: Actually I did the math, Ozzy would have $225, not $0.15. Carla: Fam I’m right here.... Penny: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :) Billy: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please? Penny: Sorry I only have a dollar :( Billy: :(( Jerome: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Ozzy would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent Penny: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice Ozzy: You can buy anything you want with $22,500 Carla: Yeah and she wants soda and apply juice Monty: Apply juice to what Billy: Directly to the forehead Lily: Great chat everyone

Jerome: A theif. Monty: Thief? Jerome: Theif. Monty: I before E, except after C. Jerome: Thceif. Monty: No.

Bob, driving Penny and Billy: So how was your day? Penny: We almost got surprise adopted! Bob: What? Billy: We almost got kidnapped. Bob: Oh, okay. Bob: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

Carla: If you had to choose between Jerome and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose? Monty: That depends, how much money are we taking about? Jerome: Monty! Carla: 63 cents. Monty: I'll take the money. Jerome: MONTY!!

Ted, at a restaurant: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing. Kid: Okay Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink? Ted: Orange soda, please! Felix: I'll have the strawberry soda. Kid: Me too, strawberry soda. Ted:

Carla: I can explain. Penny: Can you? Carla: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

Billy: I turned out perfectly fine! Lily: Billy, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast Billy: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

Jerome: What are your goals? Kid: To pet all the cats. Jerome: No, fitness goals. Kid: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the cats.

[p1nkshield]

Peter: Hey Mr Stark! I found a really old book! Look, The hunger games!

Tony: kid, you gotta get a better perspective on what really old is… that came out like only a few years ago. It’s not that old.

Peter: Mr Stark… that book came out a few years after I started kindergarten.

Tony: Stop… you’re lying.

Peter: I’m not lying Mr. Stark I swear!

Tony: alright, patrol is over its bedtime.

Peter: Bedtime? it’s only like seven pm!

Tony: Which is bedtime for infants. Which is what you are.

Peter: Hey, I’m an adult! I don’t have a bedtime!

Tony: nope! a baby, good night baby.

[weibenwolken]

Kid, to Frisk: Can you please take my power away from me? I don't want it.

[lilacthebooklover]

Incorrect quotes

Ted: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate, or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate? Felix: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.

Jerome: I was arrested for being too cool. Carla: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

Monty: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Penny's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get her out...

Billy: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside Lily: Lily: Billy, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn... Billy: *Sips coffee from bowl*

Alice, to Madison: My life is in the hands of an idiot! Madison, motioning to herself and Ron: No no no no no, TWO idiots!

Buggs: *Gets down on one knee* Nugget: Oh my god, it’s finally happening. Buggs: *Falls over* Nugget: The poison is kicking in.

Dr Danner: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why. Janitor: Only if you also don't ask why Janitor: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick. Dr Danner: Janitor: Dr Danner: This one is fine

Jerome: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder? Buggs: Stop romanticizing the past.

Nugget: Nugget prevented a murder today. Kid: Really? How’d you do that? Nugget: Self control.

Principal: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity? Applegate: *turning to Cindy* How tall are you?

Penny: Carla, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Carla: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later Penny: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Monty.

Ozzy: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

Buggs: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

Cindy: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

Margaret: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal'. You don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

Hall Monitor: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

Monty: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Jerome: You need to stop.

Ozzy: This is such a bad idea. Madison: Then why are you coming along? Ozzy: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Cindy: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right Buggs: Looking right because you left Jerome: Looking up cause you let me down Monty: Looking down cause you messed up Applegate: What is wrong with you

Ozzy: What’s something you guys are better than Felix at? Carla: Mario Kart. Madison: Yeah, video games. Ted: Emotional vulnerability :)

Carla: I think Felix was right. Ozzy: I'm surprised he hasn't marched in here to say 'I told you so.' Ted: He wouldn't do that! Felix: You're right, Teddy. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that. Felix: *turns around, the shirt he's wearing says 'Felix Told You So' on the back*

Male Principal: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

Kid: So what do you do? Monty: I work in genetic research, and I'm currently trying to eliminate all Cancers. Kid: Wow, impressive. Monty: Then I'll move on to Leos.

Lily: Can I be frank with you guys? Kid: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help. Nugget: Can Nugget still be Nugget? Billy: Shh, let Frank speak.

I found an incorrect quote generator and had a blast ahdkjfh

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Caliborn: I HAVE A HEADACHE.

Dirk: It might be a tumor.

Caliborn: YOu LITTLE SHIT, IT'S NOT A TuMOR, OKAY?! I'M GONNA STRANGLE MY SISTER, THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO TO HER, OKAY? I'M GONNA PuT MY HANDS AROuND HER NECK AND STRANGLE HER!

[1337wtfomgbbq]

Carlos: Do you like fish, Lando?

Lando: I like muesli😑

[c4rl4-k1nn13]

Buggs: Hey so, your like, pretty cool. Whats your name?

Cindy: Well my last name's you, most people just call me that.

Buggs: you? What is that like.. asian? Thats cool.

Cindy: yeah grandma had yellow fever.

Buggs: yeah cool, so whats your first name?

Cindy: Fuck.

[creoterative]

I'm currently trying to finish the first part of Chapter four of my Marlon redemption fic, and there is gonna be some memory stuff.

My best friend gave me some quotes from kids that she workes with in kindergarten.

And I made an incorrect quote board of it.

So now enjoy funny texts for the Ericson Kids. As kids.

Omar: "I'm sure you're good at something else... Just not cooking."

Violet: "Your taste is like sand feels between my teeth."

Brody: "No thanks, I don't want the egg. I don't want to hatch a baby chicken in my tummy. How would that even come out?"

Louis: "Cucumbers are pumpkins and pumpkins are yucky, so I'm not eating them."

Mitch: "I eat everything. I'm a machine. Just not..." *stares at plate* "...that."

Minnie: "Grandma always makes pudding. Mama said to always tell her we love it. But Mama feeds it to the dog when grandma doesn't look. So I feed mine to my brother. Same thing."

Marlon: *after getting told, that chocolate is from chocolate beans* "I want normal pudding! I HATE BEANS!!!"

AJ: "Yesterday, we ate ghost brokkoli." (It was califlower.)

Aasim: "I love pizza. Every pizza. I want pizza every day. But... Without Salami, and paprika, and corn, and... without ice cream." (Aasim, are you okay?)

Minnie: "My mommy gives milk from her to my little brother." *Whispering* "I think she hides a cow in her T-shirt."

Sophie: "My sister eats her salad with yucky grapes." *glares at the olives*

Aasim: "Salad doesn't grow on oaks. It's on palm trees!"

Marlon: "I want a treat. Our dog gets treats all the time, it's not fair."

Tenn: Why does the ice-cream taste so funny?" (It's mayonnaise, my friend.)

Ruby: "Mommy made hamster for breakfast." (Until this day, we don't know what the fuck she meant.)

Louis: "My dad is italian, so he always makes us gelatine." (He meant to say 'gelato'.)

Willy: "I made you a cake... but it moves..." (Built a sand cake, accidentally trapped a bug and thought he summoned numerous demons at once.)

Clementine: "Mom never makes me eat peas. They are evil. And sometimes they roll." (Yeah, how dare they.)

[drfirsnogayny]

Eddie: School is so hard--

Carla: Eddie, in my time I smuggled contraband at school even though the school had a "human metal detector", made explosives at school, ran from an Android, blew up the teacher's longe wall, I infiltrated the school air duct system, ran from mutants, convinced your dad that crying doesn't change what happened, and you're complaining? Do you know how hard it was?! And that was just in kindergarten! Elementary school, Middle school and High school were even worse!

Jerome: Jeez, and here we go again.

Jerome, returning from work as a principal: School is so hard--

Carla: DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT IN FRONT OF A CHILD!

Eddie: Dad agrees with me, can I stay home now?

Carla: Ugh, you two--

[yellowisacat]

Kindergarten Incorrect Quote 2 :∆

Wednesday...

Goobers (Got these from Wattpad kehe :p)

[marinerainbow]

*If Poppy got to be close friends with the Toon Patrol, and she takes on the responsibility of trying to make them better people*

Smartass: "... You’re giving me... A sticker?"

Poppy: *being all cheerful* "Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying 'me-wow!'"

Smartass: "I am not a preschooler."

Poppy: *starting to get discouraged* "I-I know... I just thought-"

Psycho: *popping up out of nowhere and reaching for the sticker* "Fine, I’ll take it-"

Smartass: *shoves Psycho back* "I earned this, back off!"

[lilac-rose-writes]

Lily: Hey guys, I just realized all numbers are subjective and have no meaning. Like four hours of sleep isn’t enough, but four murders is too many.

Billy: I don’t know what you’re talking about man, that’s so much sleep to get in a night.

Nugget: Yes, four murders is hardly any! Did you mean in a night or in a week?

Lily: …I kind of meant a lifetime…

Nugget: Oh.

[spideyladman]

I remember today that this Religion teacher straight up marked my response in one question in my test incorrect because I put it True and she said how it's "half of the truth, which is technically incorrect"

My lady in Christ you were the one who made the question and marked it True or False