#incorrect tom riddle

[skylarinfinity]

[golden trio and male reader found files about past voldemort aka tom riddle]

harry : [excited] we can use this information to defend voldemort!

male reader : [staring at tom riddle photo and laugh awkwardly] this photos make me want to turn into the dark side...

hermione : [sighed] really, male reader?

male reader : what?! you can't deny that he was a dashing lad!

ron : [nodding] you not wrong...

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy @loving-wanda-in-every-universe

[abouttimeoc]

[coldemergency]

Voldemort: Harry, I need you to give me my snake back

Harry: No! It’s my weekend, we have shared custody!

Voldemort: Nagini is not your child, she is a highly intelligent, extremely terrifying and deadly creature-

Nagini: boop the snoot

Harry: Aww, who’s my little danger noodle?

Voldemort:

Voldemort: What have you done to her

[apicelladonna]

in another universe, Dumbledore sat timetravelling Harry down in his office and said "I'm a bad example so it's perfectly fine if you're confused about this, but just because I have a bad relationship with a mentally unstable gay cult leader I pretend to still hate but actually love and raw nasty, doesn't mean you have to."

[iamnmbr3]

Diary Tom Riddle: We have so much in common! Both half-bloods-

Harry: Both my parents were magical so not really but ok.

Diary Tom Riddle: Both orphans.

Harry: My parents died because of Voldemort...

Diary Tom Riddle: Mine too! What are the chances?

Harry: ... (-_-)

Diary Tom Riddle: It's like we're soulmates.

Harry: Funny you should say that.

[rilowizardshaddow]

Harry: I'm so glad the destiny got us together.

Tom, who stalked Harry throughout all his Hogwarts years until he knew everything about Harry before he made their first encounter seem like an accident: Yes...

[slytheringangstuff]

𝒪𝓃𝑒 𝒹𝒾𝓃𝓃𝑒𝓇

y/n: This food is too hot... I can’t eat it. 

Theo: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: *silence* 

Enzo: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING! 

Tom: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

[day-dreameratnight]

Tom: I’m looking for my will to live.

Harry: Then die.

Tom: Oh, there it is ☺️

[youknowmevj]

tom: I think I'm bi

harry: which one?

tom: wdym

harry: bisexual? bilingual? bipolar?

*orion from the back*: I know. A bitch

[incorrectbellamort]

Voldemort: Your husband glared at me again.

Bellatrix: Ignore him, he's being sensitive.

Rodolphus: I found love poems under your pillow written in Parseltongue.

Bellatrix: Sensitive.

[tom-riddle-conoisseur]

Why HBP is Tomarry Holy Grail:

Dumbledore to Harry after they emerge from the memories: So what have we learned today class?

Harry: Tom Riddle was really hot?

Dumbledore: Hyperventilating

Harry : Tom Riddle could have been saved. Like he was not always a noseless git evil.

Dumbledore About to have a brain aneurysm: I need to sit down.

Harry: Professor, you do look a bit green...

[crackishincorrecthp]

*Harry manages to save Cedric by throwing a Petrificus Totalus on him, so Voldemort thinks Cedric is dead, but he's just literally petrified* *Cedric sees all the Voldemort resurrection, including Voldemort being fucking naked* *Harry and Cedric go back to Hogwarts and once Harry releases the spell on Cedric they're both just looking at each other horrified* Harry, horrified: Did you see that? Cedric, horrified: I did! Dumbledore, confused: What happened there, boys? Cedric, still horrified: We saw You-Know-Who resurrect, and he was naked Harry, still horrified: We saw Voldemort naked Dumbledore: Dumbledore: So you aren't horrified that Tom is back, you're horrified 'cause you saw him naked? Harry and Cedric, still looking pretty horrified: YES!!!! Harry: I think I'll have nightmares about that for the rest of my life Cedric: Me too Dumbledore: Dumbledore: It can't be that bad, boys... Harry: Sir, I'm sorry, but you don't get it, it was horrible Cedric: It was traumatizing! I don't even think I can see myself naked without thinking about that

[abouttimeoc]

[coldemergency]

Lucius: How was the honeymoon?

Voldemort: Harry got drunk and tried to destroy our marriage certificate

Voldemort: He said “good luck trying to return me without the receipt”

Voldemort: That little idiot (affectionately)

[reine-de-la-lune]

When Tom fell in love with Harry, he thought he had fallen ill

But when Harry fell for Tom, he thought he'd gone mad

[iamnmbr3]

Snape returning to Voldemort's service post book 4: My Lord, ever since your disappearance I have been by Dumbledore's side working as a teacher at Hogwarts and gathering valuable information which I believe-

Voldemort: You've been a teacher at Hogwarts since 1981?

Snape: Yes, my Lord. And I have-

Voldemort: I see. So when YOU apply to a teaching post when you're barely out of school everyone's fine with it but Merlin forbid I do it. To say nothing of the 10 years of unique experience I brought the second time I applied. What did you say in your interview? What's your secret???

Snape: ?????????