#incorrect male reader

[skylarinfinity]

[golden trio and male reader found files about past voldemort aka tom riddle]

harry : [excited] we can use this information to defend voldemort!

male reader : [staring at tom riddle photo and laugh awkwardly] this photos make me want to turn into the dark side...

hermione : [sighed] really, male reader?

male reader : what?! you can't deny that he was a dashing lad!

ron : [nodding] you not wrong...

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy @loving-wanda-in-every-universe

[oliver-sssssss]

Kinktober

[shortnsweetsposts]

Child!Damian: *Trying to hug Bat!reader*

Bat!reader: Leave alone, baby.

Child!Damian: *Looked up at Bat!reader with them big ol'eyes*

Bat!reader: ...

Bat!reader, starts ugly sobbing and hugged child!Damian back: YOU'RE MY BABY. YOU'RE MY BABY AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

Batfam: Oh wow

[hannibalised]

*Simon following up behind y/n*

Y/n: So...me and Simon are dating

*Simon nodding*

Price: ha! We already knew

Soap: like why were you even hiding it from us this long

Y/n and Simon: *confused*

Y/n:We only started dating today

Price:

Soap: Then what the fuck was happening for the last three years ?!

Simon: :)

Masterlist

[invincibledc]

Batsib!reader: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Dick: Rude.

Damian: That’s fair.

Jason: Not again.

Tim : Are you going to want this back?

[debonairprincesposts]

You: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Jason: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks, I don't want to hear shit.

[v1x3n]

[acid-ixx]

Dick: let’s go to your favorite restaurant <3

You: oh no, he wants to poison me… what did I do this time…

… is us in a nutshell 😭 my boy messed up big time

— masterlist !

dick, excited and holding you (hostage) in his lap, nuzzling into your neck: c'mon baby bird! let's eat in your favorite restaurant, just us two! it'll be fun and it's my treat too <3

you, panicking, sweating and trying to push him away, in your mind: 'this is all a ruse. he's gonna kill me. oh my god, what do i do? do i jump? do i punch him? no, no, no, what if i spill boiling, hot water on his face? no, that's a death wish. what did i do wrong, what do i do now?!'

dick, looks up at you sitting in his lap, grins when your eyes meet his (stupidly) baby blue ones. his hold on you only becomes tighter: you're so adorable, i could eat you up—

you: OH NO, SO I'M THE MAIN COURSE! HE'S GONNA EAT ME ALIVE—!

dick, panics at your statement and almost drops you on the floor: BABY, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!

[x-x-nyctophilia-writes-x-x]

Y/n: Which one of you was gonna tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?

Gaz: You... You were putting it in cold water?

Y/n:.......

Soap: Y/n. Answer the question, Y/n.

Y/n: Well... yeah. I thought for, like, 5 years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the “tea-ification” process. I didn't realize there was an actual reason. Besides, do you really think I have the patience to boil water?

Soap: Ye dinnae have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes?

Gaz: Wait, wait- why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Soap: Do ye think ah've got the patience to boil water on the stove?

Gaz: It takes less than a minute!

Y/n: Bestie, is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun??

Gaz: Well, how long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove then?

Y/n: Like, 7 minutes!

Soap: *nods*

Gaz: *sighs* Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat, and it boils in 2 minutes. Less than that if you use a saucepan. 

Soap: ...Ye're puttin' the whole mug on the stove? On medium heat?

Y/n: *crying laughing* Your stove is fucking enchanted!

Price: Every single one of you is a fucking lunatic. 

Ghost: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?

Source

[rainnyydaysworld]

Reader: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you?

Jason: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now.

Jason: Would you like me to tutor you?

Dick: That was smooth.

—

Tim: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Steph: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Reader: I got distracted halfway through.

Damian: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

—

Jason: BE A BETTER PERSON!

Reader: WHY?!

Jason: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

—

Dick: I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born.

Jason: Aw... that's not true.

Jason: It'd be exactly the same.

Jason: You're not important.

—

Reader: You’re drunk.

Tim: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Reader.

[adozowa]

Incorrect quotes #12

Reader: "It's hot on the bottom."

*giving a pot with food to zoro*

Zoro: *Reaches out for the bottom*

Reader: "it's hot on the bottom..."

Zoro: *still reaching for the bottom*

Reader: "IT'S HOTT ON THE BOTTTOOOOMMMM!!!?!?!?"

*Sanji laughing his ass off behind zoro*

[skylarinfinity]

professor mcgonagall : male reader and harry, what have i told you about comparing professor umbridge to a dementor?

[umbridge have a visible smirk on her face thinking male reader and harry being told off by mcgonagall]

male reader : [sighs] that's it's offensive to the dementor [harry nodding in agreement]

umbridge : what-

professor mcgonagall : [nod] that's correct.

umbridge : what!?

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy @loving-wanda-in-every-universe

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Y/N: I cant believe we're locked in this room together Ghost, throwing the key out of the window: Truly unfortunate

[shortnsweetsposts]

Tim: Do you believe in ghosts?

Bat!reader: I do.

Tim: I don't.

Bat!reader: Why not?

Tim: *Shrugged*

Bat!reader: You don't feel like anyone could be whiter than you?

Tim, taken aback by the comment: Wow

[zweetpea]

You: WRIO!! *runs towards him sobbing, and utterly soaked*

Wriothesley: What happened?

You: So I was talking with Lady Furina and Monsieur Neuvillette stuck up behind me and I accidentally smacked him in the face. I wanted to ask him if he was okay and also apologize... but in my panic I yelled "Are you sorry?!"

Wriothesley: *Holding back tears and laughter* Oh...

You: Now I'm gonna go to jail for assault!

Wriothesley: Don't worry. I'll send a letter to Neuvillette and explain the situation. By the way, why are you soaking wet?

You: I don't know. The Iudex just started got kinda misty eyed and then it started pouring. They even had to put on the flood warning up on the surface.

[invincibledc]

Jon: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Wonderboy!reaader: The car takes a screenshot.

Damian: For the last time, get the fuck out.