#male reader incorrect quotes

[skylarinfinity]

[natasha going out with the girls]

wanda : so natasha, how are you and your new boyfriend?

natasha : well couple years ago i loss my ex at a party and found him making out with two woman-

carol : [scoffed] fucking arsehole.

natasha : but last night i lost male reader at tony party and find him eating a tacos while patting the animals at the corner of the living room.

maria : [chuckles] the upgrade!

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[skylarinfinity]

kate : [staring at natasha while drinking her coffee] did every russian call people with their full name?

natasha : [looking up from her breakfast] what? of course not, what make you think that?

kate : it's yelena-

natasha : that's yelena, she... she just different-

[yelena and male reader walk into the kitchen side by side]

yelena and male reader : hello kate bishop, good morning!

[kate looking at natasha with raised eyebrow]

natasha : [sigh] listen here kate bishop- oh lord it's is russian thing...

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[skylarinfinity]

sirius : [try to warning harry and male reader about voldemort] voldemort is after something, something he didn't have last time.

harry : [concern] what is it-

male reader : [don't give a flying fuck about voldemort] is it a nose?

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[skylarinfinity]

[male reader private jet just landing on airport]

male reader : [see his teammates fighting eachother] i only gone for one month vacation, what the fuck is happening here?!

[team ironman and team cap both immediately stop fighting when they heard male reader voice]

tony : [point at steve] he start it! [steve sigh and shaking his head]

male reader : [ignoring tony than turn to look at natasha and wanda] who started this shit?

wanda : [suddenly find floor more interesting] i loss control of my power and government-

male reader : [raised an eyebrow] so government fault?

natasha : yeah, but this started because those two [point at tony and steve] refused to talk properly [shrugs]

male reader : than why you two decide to join them?

wanda : i just don't like tony [shrugged]

natasha : [shrugs] i prefer to life with tony black card.

male reader : [sigh] all of you go back to compound.

steve : male reader-

male reader : [give steve stern look] compound now!

tony : i don't want-

male reader : one, two-

[avengers immediately run into their vehicle]

male reader : [groan] this team useless without me.

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[skylarinfinity]

[golden trio and male reader found themselves in dangerous situation]

ron : [scared] we can't fight all this people!

hermione : we should run and find professor dumbledore.

harry : [nod] let's go-

male reader : no! just stay here i know how to summon him!

hermione : [confused] what-

male reader : [shout] it's seems like slytherin doing amazing with scores this year! they going to win the cup-

[dumbledore crash open the door]

dumbledore : fifty points to each of you for being great example to- [stop when he see his students watch him with deadpan expression]

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy @loving-wanda-in-every-universe

[skylarinfinity]

[male reader, tony and bruce try to have intelligent conversation]

tony : so in the conclusion is-

male reader : i just realized that getting girlfriend is like pre-ordering a milf.

bruce : i'm sorry, but what? please don't stop our research for irrelevant topic-

tony : no bruce, he talking fact here! [pointing at male reader]

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[skylarinfinity]

male reader : [standing in front of wanda] wanda you have attachment issues, please fix it.

wanda : [looking at male reader with confused but also hurt expression] what?

male reader : [putting files in front of wanda] your files have some attachments error, please fix it.

wanda : [blushing] oh- ok i will fix it...

[male reader nod and walk away]

clint : [snorting] you really thought he calling you out huh?

wanda : [pouting] shut up!

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy @loving-wanda-in-every-universe

[skylarinfinity]

[tony and steve fighting while other try to calming down the situation]

steve: [sigh] tony-

tony: [interrupted steve and keep jabbing steve shoulder with his fingertip] no you listen to me steve-

natasha: [pull steve away from tony] guys-

m/n: [stressed out] dad's can you guys calm the fuck down?!

[the room immediately silent]

tony: [look m/n with wide eyes] what did you say?

m/n: [look at tony with confused and scared] can you guys calm the fuck down?

steve: [smile softly at m/n] no, before that.

m/n: [get more confused] i don't say anything?

sam: [wiggle his eyebrows] m/n, you call cap and stark dad's.

[m/n face start turning red so he immediately left the room]

clint: [suddenly gasp] m/n going to be child of divorce!

tony: [shake his head firmly] no i'm not going to divorce steve, we can figure this out for m/n.

steve: [confused] but we never married-

tony: [glare at steve] shut up steve, we would work this out for m/n!

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[skylarinfinity]

[golden trio and male reader found files about past voldemort aka tom riddle]

harry : [excited] we can use this information to defend voldemort!

male reader : [staring at tom riddle photo and laugh awkwardly] this photos make me want to turn into the dark side...

hermione : [sighed] really, male reader?

male reader : what?! you can't deny that he was a dashing lad!

ron : [nodding] you not wrong...

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy @loving-wanda-in-every-universe

[skylarinfinity]

Y/n who loves peters ass and is constantly squeezing it

[peter noticing male reader keep picking on his own skin]

peter : [hold male reader hand] stop doing that, after this patrol we go buy you a fidget-

male reader : [move his hand to peter arse] or you can just let me squeeze this [squeeze peter arse]

peter : [whine] if you keep squeezing it, it's going to be sore!

male reader : you a spiderman, you going to be fine [chuckles]

peter : [pout] but- [see male reader give him puppy eyes and sigh] fine go ahead!

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[skylarinfinity]

[spot try to attack spiderman male reader]

male reader : [dodging spot attack] who are you? and why the hell you attacking me?!

spot : i'm the spot-

male reader : aww my cat name also spot!

spot : what-

[male reader pull out white with black spotted kitten from inside his hoodie]

male reader : see, he even look like you! [smile]

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[skylarinfinity]

[four in the morning, team having breakfast before training]

male reader : [decided to interrupt his teammates peaceful morning] there no physical evidence to say that today is friday, we all just have to trust that someone has kept counting since the first one ever.

[team groaning after they heard what male reader just say]

peter : [sobbing] please stop, it's too early for this!

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[skylarinfinity]

[male reader, hermione, harry and ron just escape from voldemort]

male reader : [try to calming down] at least now we know that voldemort never lie.

harry : [panting] wh- why?

male reader : because if he lie his nose supposed to be long but look at him, he doesn't even have nose.

[harry and hermione laughing at male reader joke]

ron : [utterly confused] wot?

hermione : [sigh] it's pinocchio, muggles fictional story you understand it if you read ron.

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[skylarinfinity]

[professor male reader and hagrid sent to bring harry to hogwarts]

male reader : [try to explain what happening] harry, do you have beautiful hair, magic hands, can talk to animal, cursed, kidnap and enslave?

[harry give male reader hesitate nod]

male reader : [smile] great, you're a disney princess harry.

hagrid : [confused] i thought he a wizard?

male reader : oh yeah, that too... by the way don't be so happy about it because people expecting you eleven years old to solve everything.

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[skylarinfinity]

[avengers have bbq night]

male reader : [grilling the meats] clint, how do you like your steak?

clint : the same way my sex life been going [laughing thinking he so funny]

male reader : [deadpans] so very rare than?

clint : [stop laughing] what-

[team try so hard not to laugh at him]

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[skylarinfinity]

natasha : [reminiscing her childhood] when i was small-

male reader : [snort] “was”

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy