#incorrect transformers quote

[niiwa-angel]

Starscream and Skyfire on a date.

Starscream: So, what do you think of the Auto-scum?

Skyfire: You know, I think they might have a point.

Starscream, shoving ruststicks into his purse: I'm sorry, I have to leave.

~~~

Cliffjumper: Bad news, our Prime locked his keys inside his office

Cliffjumper: Good news! I can pick locks

Cliffjumper: Bad News. Prime now finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks and he's given me three lectures about 'the value of privacy'.

Cliffjumper: Good news, my cute coworker saw me pick the lock.

Cliffjumper: bad news. It was Arcee, and she's already seen me fall off several ledges, cry because I saw a turbo fox that was too darn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle. She's never going to think I'm cool, that ship has sailed.

~~~

Skywarp: My great scam is that I've befriended a lot of incredibly intelligent people by concealing my indefensible stupidity Via the power of maintaining eye contact, nodding my head and going mhmm.

Skywarp: In my defense, I don't outright pretend to be smart, and if anybody challenges me on it, I'll admit that I'm out of my depth. I simply do not challenge the assumption that I know what they're talking about.

~~~

Starscream: I'm sick of hearing about which crystals will heal and cleanse my soul. I want to know which ones can hurt you and fuck up your vibe!

Sunstorm: Uranium

Shockwave: Any, if you're willing to resort to violence.

Starscream: You're speaking my language

~~~

Optimus: My toddler accidentally cursed himself into an existential crisis today.

Optimus: He's been crossing things out with his chalk and asked me to write his name for him. I did, he crossed it out, and then he freaked out because he thought it meant he didn't exist anymore.

Optimus: Every hour or so he asks me "am I still Bumblebee?" And I have to hug him and promise him he is.

Ratchet: Love the implication here that he was fine erasing things from existence until it affected him.

~~~

Mirage: I read that Capsaicin makes your mouth feel like it's burning because it increases your nerve sensitivity to heat. And methanol does the same thing but with cold. So if I eat a bunch of habanero peppers and breath mints, they should cancel out!

Mirage: Hey! Guess what hellfire tastes like!

First Aid: Fun fact! The nerve endings for "ouch too hot" and "ahh too cold" are different! Which means both can be activated at the same time, without cancelling out.

[transfrmrs]

Ironhide, over comms: Prowl, can you come collect your freak of a man please. He's doing things. Prowl: No. I set him loose on purpose. Prowl: He needs enrichment.

[rcaotic]

Some Transformers prime memes I made with a friend @forreal-forreal42 enjoy

(Spoilers...kinda)

[lmadsadness]

how to trick your husband into admitting that hes sleep deprived:

[kawareo]

Co-Captaining

Megs' side profile is so fun to draw

Inspired by this post by @cyber-streak-2

[zziridian]

[raileurta]

Aaaaah yes my favorite dynamic in transformers, the giant gentle-ish bot and their vicious little human who would kill for their family.

[unicornblossom13]

Optimus: Do you want to cuddle?

Megatron: I am a millennium old gladiator, turned Decepticon warlord, who has killed thousands.

Optimus: So yes?

Megatron: Yes, please.

[cyhmer]

This is totally what they implied in that scene

[i-am-confused-always]

Optimus: Today I realized I’m old.

Ratchet: What happened?

Optimus: I fell at the mess hall and instead of laughing, Bumblebee came running to see if I was okay.

Ratchet: …

Optimus: I saw the fear in his eyes

[transfrmrs]

Ratchet: Megatron's optics are blue, right? Orion Pax: They're red, with hints of yellow when the light hits just right. Ratchet: And when was the last time he smiled? Orion Pax: Last night at 2:03 AM. Ratchet: Right. And when is my creation day? Orion Pax: Ratchet: When is my creation day, Orion?

[niiwa-angel]

Megatron: This is Skywarp, he's a pure seeker with a unique ability to teleport.

Optimus Prime: This is Bumblebee, I found him in the trash. He beeps.

Bumblebee: 💛

Optimus Prime: I love him

[coffeefiction]

The Mech Pilot Au by @keferon has me on a chokehold, so, I'mma procrastinate from writing an actual fic by just writing down incorrect quotes instead-

-----------------------

Swerve: We’ve found the person who stole your identity and was impersonating you.

Blur: Where were they?

Swerve: Eating cheetos and crying in their car.

Blur, impessed: Damn, they really went for it.

-----------------

Jazz: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for methaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!

-------------------

Prowl: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

Jazz: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.

Prowl, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

------------------

Blur: Why cant trees give off something important like wifi??

First Aid: So fuck oxygen, I guess.

-------------------

Prowl: Vortex isn’t answering my messages.

First Aid: Allow me.

Prowl: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-

Vortex: *replying to message* Hello.

-------------------

*First Aid and Jazz enter a dive bar*

First Aid: Look, I know you’re disappointed but could we at least have a drink.

Jazz, in a scuba diving suit: I would like leave, please.

-----------------

Blurr: Here is my wall of inspirational people. Swerve: Is that a picture of you? Blurr: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

----------------

First Aid: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.

Vortex: *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is!

---------------

Vortex: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass.

First Aid: YOUR MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL!

Vortex: …Your point?

-------------------

Jazz: First Aid is restricted to decaf for the rest of this adventure.

-------------------

Jazz: I told Swerve to grab snacks for everyone.

Blurr, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?

*Jazz, First Aid, and Swerve raise their hands*

*Vortext from the distance,also raising his hand*

--------------------

Jazz: I think we should have glow stick juice injected in our bones when we're born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise.

Vortex: What's the surprise?

First Aid: Blood poisoning.

--------------------

Vortex: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

------------------

Swerve: Why would anyone want to harm Blurr?

Vortex: Maybe because they met him?

[bellamby]

"Angel and Devil on your shoulder" concept, but it's just different continuities of Optimus Prime

Me: "Aww, this guy cut in front of me at McDonalds"

TFP Op: "Sometimes, we must rise above ourselves for the great-"

Bayverse Op: "Have you considered ✨️murder✨️?"

[theskywingartist]

Made these a year or so ago. Thought y’all might enjoy too

[raileurta]

Megatron: I'm not going to pretend to be your father fleshy! That's not even biologically possible.

Miko: Okay counter point though will you give up the chance to psychologically torment both Ratchet and Optimus?

Megatron:

Megatron: We're going to get matching sweaters.

Miko pulling up a full whiteboard: This is going to be the funniest shit I have ever pulled.