#infjproblems

[trashandwriting]

Two types of INFJs

1. Happy little bubble, struggles nevertheless a lot, chaotic, has a big vision but can't handle a tiny task, will remember your birthday and favorite things, smart but won't admit it, shy, but talks a lot when with people, kinda quirky, creative as fuck, has more friends than expected, total therapy friend, gets rude when people say they are mistyped, "oh my god that's so me, I'm INFJ too!"

2. Has their shit and life together but feels chaotic, 7383 alternative plans, seem pretty chill but isn't, sometimes mistaken as INTJs, secretly cry a lot but nobody knows, hates but loves people, keep their romantic thoughts for themselves, knows they are smart but tears up in arguments, can't understand why people argue, will be super empathetic when they have the energy to do so, the one in the group who organizes stuff, when people say they're mistyped they will try to explain calmly but shrug it off when the conversation gets too draining, "*sighs deeply* Yes....I'm INFJ"

[sadiahakim]

All I see is this infinite fog of emptiness around me, and the demons...

... the demons dressed as humans...

Sadia Hakim

[under-the-moons]

infj problem of the day:

i'm tired of the constant self-improvement...

[infjpaladin]

This feeling that we just "get you".

[venusinfur23]

Unfortunately it's me

[sakurailady]

So true 🤣 #infjpersonality #infjmemes #mbtipersonality #mbtimemes #infjproblems #infjlife #infjstruggles #infj #sotrue💯 #truestory💯 https://www.instagram.com/p/CZ63jr4D5Cy/?utm_medium=tumblr

[itzwaifusama]

[hello-freen-machine]

*INFJ Awards* for:

Spoke about my problems and didn't cry

[typefy]

#Cognition 🧠 is simply the action of your mind as it acquires and processes information.

It’s comprised of the mental processes that are involved in:

 ✅ Perception

 ✅ Attention

 ✅ Memory

 ✅ Problem Solving

 ✅ Reasoning 

 ✅ Decision making

This is important to remember as we relate and talk about “Cognitive Functions” in the next coming weeks.

[toxicnurse]

I'm an empath. I always feel things, I'm always anxious what other people think about me that is why I am always careful with my words and actions.

I always put myself in other people's shoes. Why can't they do the same? That might bring a lot of kindness in this world.

I'm always here to listen and help other people but I am too stubborn to ask for someone's help.

I feel guilty about everything. I do even feel guilty of being an empath because I think I am being too much to everyone.

[trashandwriting]

If an INFJ is fake friendly to you, you're annoying but they try to understand your position.

If an INFJ is annoyed, you really fucked up, because they swallow everything to keep the peace but you crossed a border they are not willing to let you cross.

If an INFJ is annoyed and doesn't tell you why.....Ooooh, you fucked up. You fucked up, buddy.

[sadiahakim]

I'm afraid I'm not good at communicating with people.

Sadia Hakim

[crumblycornbread]

So here’s a little story all about how social interactions go when I speak with someone who has my personality functions but flipped and turned upside down. 😅

Hi, late 20-something INFJ here who is living in a small, sleepy Appalachian city. 🖖🏻 I’m also a master’s level social worker with a trauma informed and clinical background who recently decided to begin practicing in a medical environment. While the change of pace has been nothing less of exhilarating, there has been the occasional bump in the road while adjusting to the social environment of this workplace. I was quick to recognize/observe questionable relationships between coworkers and knew to be more assertive with my boundaries than usual. However, as always, there’s that *one* co-worker who just loves testing boundaries and thus pushing my buttons. This co-worker is no other than a middle aged ESTP who has been running from himself for as long as I’ve been breathing. So, keep reading if a story about addressing a boundary setting in the most INFJ way possible sounds interesting. (ADHD-side note: This is story is also your sign to make that decision you, fellow INFJ/human, need to better yourself… and always trust your intuition when it comes to speaking your mind.)

I feel the best stories are told when the characters have names. Emphasis on characters and not narrator. 😉 So, this ESTP deserves a name, but not just any name. It should be a name that belonged to a pretty famous INFJ: Remus Lupin. Perhaps, we can just say Lou for short because after all we’re talking about a middle aged man from West Virginia here. If you’re wondering why I feel that Lou should be named after an INFJ, let me tell you why: It is a reminder that the story and details you are about to learn about this person is not limited to a specific personality type. Everyone has their demons, or werewolves. Whatever. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Another character featured in this story is Sybil, an INFP. I actually met Sybil way before I met Lou. In fact, thanks to her I learned more than I cared to before I even met the guy. Like me, Sybil is a social worker but she’s been practicing for a bit longer than myself. She’s also much closer in age to Lou than I am. It would make complete sense for the two of them to be friends. However, unbeknownst to the two of them I had already been briefed on their horribly kept secret office romance. Sometimes I wonder if she would have told me as much as she did, if she had actually known I was much more difficult to manipulate than she predicted. Anyways, Sybil shared legends of Lou that were stained with admiration, obsession, lust, and annoyance. Girl had it bad. Lou was great at letting her feel in control through the use of his apathy. Their relationship was almost villainous. Regardless, I learned a lot from Sybil. She told me about how Lou’s bias towards people who struggle with addiction likely comes from having to overcompensate as a parent due to his ex-wife’s alcoholism. (His daughter is 5 years younger than me btw.) Repressed resentment can do a lot to a person, but I knew it could not be the source that created the wounds that afflicted Lou so apparently. Sybil is an incredibly resilient and intelligent woman, but she is incapable of seeing this man for who he really is. Whereas, I saw him for who he was the moment he said his first sentence to me.

There is nothing more irritating to me than having the ability to see so clearly through an ESTP’s bullshit while everyone is left stunned and fumbling while trying to follow their stuttering Ti. 🤬 They’re not THAT brilliant y’all, but god are those weasely fuckers good making you think otherwise. (I clearly have an almost visceral love/hate relationship with ESTPs. Please reference the Elena, Bonnie, and Damon trynamic to understand Sybil, myself, and Lou here.) On the day I was first able to put a face to Lou’s name, I think he must have grown two inches the moment he saw a new member in his audience. He flung the office door open as an entrance and I could almost smell the God complex roll off from him as he strut past me like an English Bulldog on a leash sizing up a fire hydrant. He was then of course too impatient and did not allow me the time needed to prepare in introducing myself to such organized chaos. He took it upon himself, gladly. It was quite frankly disgusting. I loved it. 😂 Lou is low key Nurse Ratchet at our place of work which is rather ironic. Our jobs are interdisciplinary in nature where we alongside and act as gatekeepers deciding who will and will not be admitted to our psychiatric unit. Though we always deflect by making the psychiatrist sound like the all great and powerful Oz. We, meaning Lou and I, are still the information gatherers and boy do we gather information differently.

“I’ll lead this one, okay,” Lou sharply spurts out as he reaches and swiftly pulls to open a privacy curtain. I think I’ve lost count how many times this man has said this to me as we prepare to assess a patient. It’s been very hard for us to establish a good working rhythm. It’s unclear to me if he’s uncomfortable with our power dynamic because I have more education while he has more experience in this position. Or, if Sybil has told him about how I prefer to take my time during assessments so I can gather as much information as possible for diagnostic purposes. I wonder this because it seems Lou likes to rush through questions because he’s already came to a conclusion before having even set eyes on the patient. He ironically voices this same frustration with other coworkers. It is glaring how blind he is to himself.

In between assessing and staffing patients to psychiatrists, Lou is bombarding me with personal questions hoping to probe himself into a debate. He’s also doing the whole damaged-goods-eliciting-rescue routine that I’m sure works on a lot ladies, like Sybil for instance. It’s not doing him any favors with me though because it’s only pissing me off. Can’t a woman just write out her note and process information so that she can come to her own conclusion in peace? 🙉 I can tell he both loves and hates that I can’t immediately agree with him. His inability to get a good read on me though seems to keep him curious and engaged. In the span of a week this man had revealed an ungodly amount of personal information to me, intentional or not. Here’s a short list of things I learned about the guy:

-His dad was a WWII veteran that was abusive “but” not nearly as abusive as father was to him.

-He was married once and has a daughter from that marriage.

-He gained two cats from the divorce and he expected me to be shocked that he had two cats for some reason.

-He was a respiratory therapist (RT) at a major trauma/research hospital in the Midwest for many years before deciding to go back to school to become a nurse, and ultimately starting his life completely over.

-I asked him to tell me about the grossest thing he had ever seen as a nurse. Ya know, expecting to have a humorous conversation about poop or something, but no. Lou proceeds to tell me three extremely gruesome and graphic trauma stories he witnessed as a RT that happened more than 10 years ago. This man- this father has witnessed more children die than any father/man/human should have ever seen. He apathetically laughed while being able to recall the sight of brain matter collecting on his shoes, completely unphased.

-He boasts of the multiple failed relationships and flings he’s encountered (many with coworkers) as if to make himself sound alluring. He regrettably tells me the story of the woman who broke him and how he’ll never be able to love again but he doesn’t know why...

What unfolds next is eerily reminiscent of the Twilight scene where Edward broods just enough to persuade Bella into saying the “V” word (and no I don’t mean virgin). Lou repeatedly and admittedly tells me he doesn’t know why he can’t fully connect/trust others, over and over. It was as if he was waiting for another response to attack and defend for the victory. But let’s just be human for a second. I’m a trauma therapist. If you probe a trauma therapist enough she’s going to say the “T” word. I looked at him square in the eye and said:

“It’s sad to me that you don’t see yourself as deserving of love and other positive feelings. Though I’m not surprised these are the results from your line of thought. If you believe, consciously or not, that you are stupid and undeserving of love you will never allow yourself to receive a love that is unconditional and long lasting. That is a self-fulfilling prophecy that prioritizes your safety over loneliness. To be completely honest, you sound like someone who has been traumatized.”

He became speechless. Suddenly, he had no rebuttal. It’s as though some of the fog had finally lifted for him. I continued:

“From what little I’ve learned about you, I’m not shocked by this. Your job as a RT was hard. You saw things no human should be made to witness. And you know what? The way you’re responding to that trauma is a completely human response. It is not your fault that you did not receive the support you needed in that profession to not still carry around some battle scars. You deserve more.”

He became very teary eyed and lost the ability to keep eye contact. I averted my gaze and began respectfully distracting myself with my note until I (finally) finished it. I felt like gloating in that moment. He spoke up a bit later to talk about his shock because he didn’t know it was even possible to become traumatized by one’s profession. We also talked about how complex trauma is and how it’s never truly “one thing”. I then covertly educated him on trauma responses and interventions/treatments while also normalizing his experience. He is one of many medical professionals who are living with PTSD. Mind you, the Covid epidemic has also exacerbated this lived experience too. Nevertheless, given the fact that Lou is a man of his age living in Appalachia and has his own particular set of life experiences, he lacked the emotional intelligence and self-compassion to sit with his pain long enough to see it for what it is and what it’s not (anger). He just needed a little direction and borrowed patience from another human. We all need that from time to time.

With all that being said, you now know that this INFJ’s response to the exhaustive boundary-testing ESTP, Lou, was to do a quick patch on some deeply rooted trauma and therefore silencing him just long enough to finish doing my fucking job. Don’t fuck with me, Lou. Listen, this bastard was brazen enough to be on a phonecall with one of his coworkers that he canoodles with (not Sybil btw) while sitting next to me in our office. He clearly underestimated the abilities of my youthful ears which meant I had to overhear a jealous woman ask about his feelings towards me, a woman he very nearly met. He responds by laughing and I can I tell from my peripheral vision he’s waiting for me to look at him but he again runs out of patience before saying, “I don’t think she has daddy issues.” I sure as hell ignored his existence after that until he later apologized for his inappropriate comment. But also- how kind of him to assume I don’t have any daddy issues after having a father that was an ESTP.

P. S. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t an ego boost to render such an argumentative person speechless and then seeing them on the verge of tears because they finally got the courage to not run from the mirror when they were really just tryna get them some. 😈

P. P. S. Casual not so casual reminder to treat people as the humans they are and not the roles they fulfill, including yourself.

[under-the-moons]

infj problem of the day: i'm too busy overthinking

[kickingupdust]

Virtual Diary Entry #14

Oct 12, 2022. 

Today is the anniversary of my best friend’s death. Today was not as hard as the first one. Definitely not as hard as the day she left. It’s easier to deal with when I think of all of the hatred and anguish of the material world and know that she did not deserve to be subject to any more of it. She is genuinely better off where she is. Grief rises from a place of selfishness, self-servitude. Desire. The desire for one more chance, one more opportunity to set things right, one more look into their eyes, one more laugh, one more awkward silence, another note of her voice. 

I do still wish she was here, I do battle the selfishness that comes with loss. With each passing year, with each butterfly that lands on me at an opportune moment, I feel less desire for her return. However, I love her. I always did and I always will. And losing her love is one of the biggest plights I will face in this lifetime. 

That’s enough about that. The more I think about it, the worse it gets. That’s why it has become easier over time, because I just deny any passage to the thoughts. I think that is really the only way. 

Oct 13, 2022

I’m so sorry that you have to have a body. One that doesn’t know what’s best for it. One you try to trust, but no matter what, you just can’t know it well enough. Cannot tend its needs well enough. I wish for nothing more than to unite the head and the heart. 

I wish I could show myself the love I so desperately crave. But, I want it from someone else. I want it to be materialized. Hugs and kisses. I cannot give myself those things. Surprises, flowers on the counter when I get home. Little things. Remembering my coffee order.

I wish someone wanted me. I’m normally just kept around for what I can offer, not because someone actually loves or cares for me. But I’ve got an angry heart. 

I know I can never be loved at this rate. I am not a courageous person. Determined, maybe. But what it really takes is courage. 

I think I am still missing my late friend. I think about how different I felt then. I won’t pay it too much mind though, that is just asking to be sad. 

I’m not even really sure what to talk about. Type about? 

I feel really annoying. Like I’m a sore on a beautiful woman’s face. 

That doesn’t even make much sense. I just feel really undesirable. Like a loser. I feel unworthy of love but at the same time I know I am wonderful and could offer the best love a person has ever recieved. I’m just crazy. 

Maybe it’s better to be alone. So I don’t have to put anyone through this. Or keep putting myself through it. 

I just wish for so much. I know the good will come to me someday. I have tried acting in the best interest of all, not just me. I’m working on that though. I am still extremely selfish and self serving. I have emotional reactions to things. I don’t always tend the things I need to be tending. 

I am really sick of feeling this way. I sometimes wonder what it’d be like to just be someone else for a day. I often wish I could have a little break where I did just that. 

When I was younger I had this grand scheme to just buy a bus ticket and get the fuck. I realized after numerous haircuts and eyebrow shapes that I have a very moldable face, one that is easily disguised. I wanted to run away and change my identity. Maybe be homeless. Maybe walk to another country. Chris McCandless style. 

I probably would’ve ended up on heroin, assaulted, and dead. 

I always thought it was probably better for me in the long run that I got pregnant as a teenager. It kept me from doing alot of stupid shit. Not all stupid shit, because I still do stupid shit. Just not as stupid as I was. Like dropping acid under a train bridge. I mean that was a pretty cool experience but it was not a smart thing to do. 

The dumbest thing I do these days is look for love. It exists within me and all around me, yet I still seek it as if my life is completely devoid of it. I just miss having someone to love I guess. I don’t really even know what it is. The people I have loved and do love have a really hard time accepting love from me due to my volatile nature. Its entirely my fault. Written in the stars that I would struggle and be difficult to others. I know I deserve good things as much as the next person, it’s just hard to feel like I do. Deep down I don’t think I do. But on the surface I affirm to myself that plenty of bad people have experienced so much good, and it makes me jealous, and it makes me say I deserve it all the same as them. That doesn’t make sense, does it. 

Doesn’t matter. Nothing really does. I could keep being an idiot in love forever if I wanted. And in general. I just need to focus on my career. I know that won’t bring me much happiness but it’ll be a step toward having my own place and I know that would make me happy. Getting to exert full control over an environment, I know it’d serve my control freak ass well. 

I wish I was carefree. 

FUCK?

Stop wishing for shit, dude. I need to be happy with what I have, I have so much. I have so much more than I could’ve ever gained on my own, and it’s all been with the help of others. What happened to graciousness, my man? 

I stopped biting my nails. I’m really grateful for that. I’ve gotten better at painting my nails. Me and my sister are great friends. I cut off and blocked all my ex’s. I have a nice shiny laptop to use for school next semester. I got granted money to go to school. I have a place to live. I have groceries in the house, plenty of food. I have clean water for drinking and showering. I have 2 really cute dogs. I have an awesome son, he’s a hellcat but I know he’ll be great one day. He’s already great, I just mean I see him capable of doing great things. He is so smart. 

I have a bunch of colorful pens, all the art supplies a starving artist could want. I have friends. I have both my parents still. I have one set of grandparents left. I have a TV in my room. I have a spotify subscription that comes with Hulu. I’m surrounded by beautiful scenery every day. Butterflies, trees, gentle wind and good weather. I have plenty to be grateful for and somehow I still dwell on the one thing I don’t have, a partner. 

Give it up. From now on I need to come and type all the reasons why I’m fine the way I am. And how being with someone won’t make anything any better. About how I make myself miserable instead of just accepting my beautiful life for what it is and being okay with it. 

Realistically I know I won’t do that but it’s a nice thought. I can’t wait to go back to school and try half as hard as I’m capable of. I’m ready to ditch the perfectionist tendencies.

[blueacademiablog]

If in the darkness of ignorance, you don't recognize a person's true nature, look to see whom he has chosen for his leader.

Rumi, Alpha Rune, Blue Academia 💙🌻