#instead of going out and doing things that i consider legitimately cool with interesting people

[garbagequeer]

you think i will have 500 conversations with communist women and this will fix me (rational thought). NO. it's not right but it's okay glee cast will fix you. and destiel.

[goodluckclove]

An Open Letter to a Professional Author

I came across a writer here who I imagine will probably never see this, but their presence was enough to make me pretty mad for two days now. I've decided to pen a little statement to this Long-Term, Professional, Full-Time, Published Author who makes a habit out of being deeply unpleasant in a way that apparently has only attracted an audience of other deeply unpleasant people.

People here seem to like it when I get mad. So, uh, enjoy?

Dear Professional Author,

I came across a post of yours on some feed here the other day and enjoyed your commentary. It was one of those writing memes that sort of called attention to actually writing as opposed to just thinking about your project - the kind that people usually respond to with some sort of joke expressing their repulsion at the concept.

You responded with distaste and I generally agreed. The tone was a little aggressive for me, but that kind of humor also leaves me generally confused. I personally ended up concluding that the self-deprecating humor was a coping mechanism for a larger issue that keeps these people from writing - intimidation, lack of confidence, physical or mental pain, things like that. You seemed to think it was a matter of will, which I found to be an approach that at the very least was well-intentioned.

Turns out it wasn't.

First off, I should say that this isn't about your political beliefs. Your political beliefs that are really more like general human beliefs. I don't want to get into that. Instead, I just want to talk about your writing. You are a full-time, published author, as you say in nearly post where you talk about writing. A major point of pride to you seems to be the fact that you are traditionally published. Any other method doesn't seem to be as legitimate to you. That's interesting to me.

You also don't seem to have much of an audience outside of people who mainly come to agree with your politics. I didn't really see a single positive interaction between you and another writer on here for as much as I was willing to scroll through your blog. That's also interesting to me.

I didn't spent too much time on your blog once I realized that you were definitely not the kind of person I would ever want any interaction with. What I did want to do is use your presence indirectly to prove a point that I've been wanting to get into for some time now.

To put it simply, I'll say this: a career in professional writing is not actually as cool or important as you might think it is.

Now I'll be direct and say that I've never been traditionally published for anything longer than a short story or long-term, unpaid column. You don't give any details on any of your writing, as far as I've seen (Once again - interesting!), so there's a chance you've made more in contracts and royalties than I have. But I'm a working writer. I've had a career in ghostwriting and technical writing. I've written and produced plays that have been featured in festivals in multiple states. I'm not speaking from a place of no experience, is what I mean to say.

What I also mean to say is that - while I view writing in many ways as a spiritual and healing act that I couldn't live without - it's also a job. It's not always exciting, and even when it is exciting it's only exciting to me. I consider the best date night to be when my wife works on video game development while I write my draft. I leave the house on a regular basis, but it's mainly to go to different places to write.

In short - I love to write, but I don't think it makes me cool. Or interesting. Or valuable. Or intelligent. Or just generally fun to be around and talk to. These are things I strive to cultivate in other aspects of the way I live and grow as a human being on this planet.

Being a Professional Author in one particular genre doesn't give you authority over the craft as a whole. You can't just throw yourself into conversations and start with I'm a published writer and assume that means you have the final say on any discussion. Believe it or not, in many cases it does not matter.

Lots of people are published traditionally, and it does prove some level of validity in their line of work. But there are a huge variety of people in the world of trad pub. There are people who write books in genres that don't apply to writers here. There are people who write books that aren't very good. There are even people who write trad pub books that are very good, but their careers are sullied by the fact that the authors themselves are not good people.

Being a successful writer does not mean you're a good person. Being a writer at all does not mean you are a good person. I believe in Death of the Author to an extent, but when that author insists on making a presence on a public website and doling out advice and opinions to other writers the lines start to blur considerably.

Writing is a job. You work it over a period of time and learn skills and strategies that work for you. The same applies to virtually every other job, including ones that society views as less romantic as something in the arts. Can you imagine me breaking into your home while you're making lunch and telling you how to arrange your cheese slices based on what I know as a full-time, professional sandwich artist at Subway? You might be interested based on leaning something you didn't know about a place you might've eaten at before. But that does not entitle me to your respect on its own.

I am not entitled to your respect based on how well I learned how to make a sandwich based on my hypothetical career at Subway. Just as I don't deserve it solely because I know two card tricks, can get out a variety of stains, read most of the works of the major beatniks, can make a really good carbonara, or any other specific about my life that ultimately does not play a huge part in who I am as a person.

When I am on my death bed, I hope to god the core of my character was not the fact that I typed stories from my brain until I got carpal tunnel. If my obituary begins and ends at "writer", no matter how positive the qualifier is before that, it will be the greatest failure of my life.

Because I am a writer. But that does not matter. It does not matter if you're a writer. It can be fun and enjoyable if you are, even better if you make a living at it, but it doesn't mean you'll be happy. It doesn't mean people will like you or perceive you to be the leader and teacher you might think you are. It certainly doesn't give you a free pass to throw cruelty at strangers for truly no real reason.

Professional Author, you had a chance to raise up the next generation of an industry I assume you must value. You're choosing not to, and that's fine. You don't have the obligation to. You do have the choice to not get involved and pretend to give advice that ranges from vague to untrue. You seem to be taking that responsibility very seriously.

It's like some twist on crab mentality, where instead of dragging crabs trying to escape the bucket you're swiping at anyone who tries to crawl in with you. Then, as they struggle, you're looking down at them and making comments on how easy it is to get in the bucket, if you only just do it and maybe read some books.

To all of us, I say this: question authority, even in the arts. Especially in the arts. Nobody knows as much as they say. That includes me, but I do know this - any branch of publishing feels really good. It's scary but it's fun. If you're traditional published or indie published or self published, it says nothing about how good your book is or how good you are as a writer or how valuable you are as a human being.

Don't be this lonely bucket crab. They seem mean and I'm tired of talking about them.

Best Regards,

Clove

[princess-of-the-corner]

i love dadzawa as a concept but i was very shocked to see people consider this something which is 'based in canon' like. no. this man is an asshole i just liked the idea of what if he was an asshole but not to children wouldnt that be neat. to have this interesting character be a supportive figure in the students lives. hes not but wouldnt it be cool. but it turns out this is not what a lot of other people were thinking. sad!

Yeah like.

Don't get me wrong: Aizawa /does/ get better/more parental as the series goes on, and he does legitimately care about these kids and want to help them. It even got retconned that his 'expelling 154 students' was just a 'temporary expulsion to teach them a harsh lesson'(which I still have problems wth but I digress)

But.

He's absolutely an asshole and has some major problems that fandom ignores because they find him hot. And since his problems are minor asshole moves instead of literal war crimes, they don't have to do the 'yeah he's an awful person but he's fictional and hot' thing when they justify their thirst over the LoV members, they just go 'uwu perfect father material!'.

Also gonna be honest: I like 'Dadzawa' as a concept, so I mostly balance this by just having the character development he gets in Canon happen a lot earlier so by the time 1-A gets him he's more in 'tired dad mode' than 'gonna be a dick to children' mode(aka: he still tests Izuku with the 'don't fuck up or you fail' thing, but it was more to see what he'd do and how he'd handle it so Aizawa can help going forward rather than trying to get him expelled. And also the results of the test are accurate where Izuku isn't dead fucking last lmao).

[being-so-normal-about-reploids]

Hai so what are ur fav headcanons that you can’t stop thinking about? :3

God tho I don't even know where to begin. I'm actually not that much of a headcanon generator, I don't think! Which I know sounds absurd considering I'm out here absolutely just making up noncanon shit for hundreds and hundreds of pages, but then if you actually ask me like, 'Quick, name a headcanon!' I just kind of bluescreen, lol. All the writing is more AU to me at this point so it's like, entirely separate real canon, so I feel like I can't really pull from any of that to answer, if that makes sense? Like it's not headcanon at that point.

But I have been playing X6 and laughing about Dynamo for like a week so you know what I'll go with that as a starting point: if they weren't already enemies, Zero would still probably love to slap Dynamo's teeth out of his head because they're too just a little close to the same type of flippant (you get this from Zero a lot more in Japanese than English), but X would probably get along with him pretty okay. And not just because X could probably get along with anybody, either. He would think Dynamo is actually, legitimately funny and chill to hang out with. Zero would think he's a shit influence who could stand to have fewer teeth, but I also headcanon that Zero probably got along just fine with Vile for a while and probably would have continued to had Shit Not Happened, and he's just defensive (and maybe a liiiiittle jealous? He is a Wily creation after all, from a long and storied line of Nobody Is Allowed To Kill You But Me type idiots) over X, so there's that. None of these idiots have any taste in friends and nobody has any room to talk shit about anybody's weird socialization.

Then again considering the actual plot that last sentence is literally just back to canon again. These dumb fuckin boys looked at each other (destined to try to kill each other from creation) and said, 'Oh no, he's so goddamn stupid, I can't not befriend him.'

Most of my headcanons are a lot more general rather than being about specific characters, and I just straight up called them 'worldbuilding' and slapped them directly into my writing, lmao. I think some of them are actually not popular, like 'reploids are generally aroace from a human perspective (though they very much have their own things going on instead)' and 'reploids don't really eat/drink' are like, I'm probably a minority for those, lol. There's a ton of alloromantic and allosexual works out there and it's actually kind of hard to find a fic where someone isn't eating or drinking human food during downtime for whatever reason. They're just very common. And to be clear I don't have a problem with it or anything either, it's all chill. I don't even mind explicit shit even if it's not as much my thang in this fandom. I just think it's a little bit more interesting when they're not just humans except metal, but instead they've got their own kinda parallel inorganic biology, and not a lot of people are doing that so it's kinda my happy niche to fill lol. Like I don't think they should be too overly familiar from an organic perspective. I actually like the uncanny valley effect. I think it's cool.

Also having a partner with a background in robotics/mechatronics and electrical engineering has super tilted what I find interesting to headcanon, I'm sure, lol.

Uh one more. I'm very team X Has Brown Hair and I love imagining different haircuts on him lol. Couldn't tell you why, but somehow most of them look cool anyway, so it's a fun pastime and I should draw some of them.

Yeah okay that's a lot of words! I think that's good for now. Unless you wanted specifics about a given game/character/etc.? (Bonus points if it's an OC because I'm always looking for an excuse to start rambling about them.)

ALSO TURNABOUT IS FAIR PLAY JUST FYI

[difeisheng]

Hi, can I ask for fic ideas? What if Jin Ling were born as a girl and become the real Young Mistress from Lan Ling (but with the same characteristics)? What would change from the story? Do you ship Jin Ling with any of the junior? Would Jiang Cheng treat her differently from the canon Jin Ling? Sorry for the random ask, qi- ling.......

HiI I think this is an interesting premise and I haven't considered it before. Some changes I think this AU would create:

Depending on how stuffy the Jin are, if Jin Ling is a girl they might bypass her right to sect inheritance entirely. Although I don’t think think Jin Guangyao would advocate for that, and her claim as Jin Zixuan’s only child and a legitimate one is still strong I think. Just something to consider for worldbuilding .

Jin Ling would probably look more like Jiang Yanli. Or maybe she has looks closer to Jiang Cheng’s sharper ones, in which case her appearance is more like Yu Ziyuan. Either way she’s a more tragic reminder of what happened to her family and Jiang Cheng would definitely be even sadder about it (Dunno if the genetics run this way but I do think it would be fun for Jin Ling to have Jin Guangyao’s eyes).

There’s a decent chance Jiang Cheng might be even stricter with Jin Ling, because she’s going to be the future sect leader in a fairly misogynstic clan and a corrupt one as well. She has to be able to prove herself and show she has the strength to get people to do what she needs. This doesn’t mean Jiang Cheng needs to repeat the actions of the previous generation though. His treatment of Jin Ling does stem from the same logic Yu Ziyuan once had-- that you must be harsh to keep them safe and make sure they’re successful-- but in canon Jin Ling is not scared of Jiang Cheng and that should not change here. Jiang Cheng would be even more protective of his niece, honestly. He just worries a lot and doesn’t know how to get that across effectively. 

Jin Guangyao might teach Jin Ling a few things about demeanor and behavior and sneaking around to your advantage, since she’ll be underestimated as a woman. This post discusses how Jin Guangyao used those tactics himself.

Qin Su and Jin Ling relationship!! She would have been involved in a decent part of Jin Ling’s life in-canon, and I’m so sad that we never got to see any hints of that. Here they’d probably be even closer. You could have aunt and niece afternoons! Qin Su is the Cool ShenshenTM and the primary female figure in Jin Ling’s life to look up to. Also I need more content for her just in general.

Wei Wuxian and Jin Ling’s relationship would probably be better from the start, because if Wei Wuxian was faced with Jin-guniang on Dafan Mountain instead of Jin-gongzi, I think he’d have been less careless with his words. Even if she’s being a brat I doubt he’s been raised to lash out at a teenage girl that way. And once he learns who Jin Ling is, his protective Da-jiu instinct is definitely activated up to Jiang Cheng’s level. Maybe he wouldn’t have gotten stabbed in Jinlintai if his bonding with Jin Ling beforehand had been more solidly founded.

Minor detail here, but maybe Yi City would have had a larger impact on Jin Ling, because A-Qing was around her age and she suffered through all that tragedy.

You asked about ships with the juniors, and I do lowkey ship Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi. I think they’re cute lovable disasters together and them falling for each other would be amusing. Whether Jingyi is also genderbent here or whether he’s just a chaotic sappy teenage boy trying his best is up to you.

This was fun to answer, I hope there’s something in here that helps you with writing ideas! Thanks for the ask!

[comicbookgirl2]

The falling star of SVTFOE OT 1- the eclipsing of potential.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua-ANnAVLjA&t=4185s

now before I begin I would like to address this video, it’s a very well made video and honestly I’d highly recommend you watch it- maybe even before or after reading this? I agree with a lot of what he said other than the parts regarding the one and only Eclipsa.

Now I know I’m going to get Flammed for this- because a lot of people believe that during the most darkest and dreary parts of this show- eclipsa ironically was the saving Grace- and I’d agree, because she was the one and only thing that seemed to remind you that you weren’t only watching this show for the terrible shipping but for the actual plot?? But then I’d also disagree because- wait for it- Eclipsa was technically the worst thing to happen to this show.

Now lower your pitchforks please- and let me explain.

Let’s go back to the good old days when svtfoe could be considered good, now shall we? Yeah I mean like season 2. Star and Marco were tolerable and their relationship was pretty well written. Star, being the free spirited child she was, had this persistant worry about the loss of her freedom when she became queen which was honestly? Quite reasonable to have. Being a queen is a huge responsibility- as you now become the ultimate servant and leader to your people. There really won’t be time for mistakes or adventures so star’s anxiety at entering this new phase of life was a really interesting perspective, and the message of her becoming a queen that could best serve her people in her own way was also a really good message to. Nowadays when kids grow up they might feel heavily pressured by society to get a reasonable job, settle down, anything done outside of the norm isn’t usually received well. So the message of telling star- yeah you have to grow Up, but you can still do it in your own way, while handling your responsibilities was a really nice message! Especially when you realized that other queens of Mewni had their own ways of ruling. Maybe star could look to them for guidance or inspiration? Maybe she’d want to set a completely new path while learning how to balance out her responsibility! I was really waiting to see how it would play out- heck they even fully addressed it in an episode! In addition to this, we had the whole plot point of Marco being possibly evil, and Toffee’s plan slowly but surely shaping up to be huge...IT HAD A LOT OF POTENTIAL- 

until...it didn’t.

Enter in one of if not the worst plot twists of all time. Eclipsa and Meteora.

Now you can argue them not making eclipsa evil was an original/good thing and I’d say sure- fair- BUT. Them making eclipsa the rightful ruler essentially rendered Star’s whole crisis of being a good ruler while being true to herself ultimately pointless- she could easily just hand off the crown- because it wasn’t hers to begin with. What was the point of giving star that plotlines if it didn’t matter in the end? Heck what was the point of showing Moon being a good queen at the beginning of at the end she easily tossed it all away and suffered massive character assassination???

And the worst part of this- was the terrible racism analogy between monsters and mewmans. Monsters do not make good comparisons to POCs especially ones that can easily suck your soul out. In fact remember the plot line that The show told you involved globgor actually committing many atrocities against the spider folks? Then it conveniently dropped it? Yeah I do too. The fact that Eclipsa chose love over her responsibilities as a ruler for someone who’s committed a lot of crimes against mewman’s political allies should at the very least make the people suspicious and mistrusting of her. But instead the show rights this off as cool, and quirky and brave- while writing off anyone who didn’t like her as one dimensional racists- like what??? There are legitimate reasons for the mewmans to not trust eclipsa. Ones that DO NOT INVOLVE RACISM. ((Globgor was such an atrocious let down too)). 

One of the worst parts about Eclipsa returning, and not being evil was how it killed soooo many potential plot points/purpose of so many things. Don’t get me wrong- a lot of GREAT things were dropped- but these were so bad..

What was the point of showing Moon being a responsible queen if it didn’t matter?

What was the point of Star struggling with the idea of her upcoming responsibilities if it didn’t matter?

What was the point of THIS if it didn’t mater?!?!?  

Or THIS?!

In fact what was the point of teaching about the power of responsibility if you were ironically going to reward the least responsible character in the show??? Sure you can argue- she showed great responsibility when she was willing to kill Meteroa for Mewni- but I’d actually argue that having her take back the crown, after seeing what she did to Moon, and then later put aside her responsibilities to save her husband (who was said committed a lot of monstrosities against the spiderbite folk mind you), is just...not right. And ironically Eclipsa wasn’t the worst offender of this.

Her daughter, also easily one of the worst characters of the show, Meteora- who drained multiple princesses for their life force to stay young while making others miserable for a living- went on a huge genocidal rampage through mewni- against innocent people- for the throne- and all she got was a reset in life, where she’s now in line for the throne.....

So she essentially got rewarded for committing massive genocide! Great lesson to teach kids SVTFOE! Really nice!

She’s arguably worse than Toffee when you think about it, yet only one of them get their full comeuppance- which is ironic because the one who was right ended up dying the brutal death.

Ironically, Eclipsa could’ve been both right, and the villain?? If she had been a villain, I would’ve called her one of- if not the best, American animated villains. Why? Well to start- a lot of the things seemed to be really coincidental- like her just happening to have a spell that would kill an immortal (for no particular reason) that would just so grant her, her freedom. For someone who’s like “lol I’m not that evil” she has a lot of dark spells (one for invading someone’s privacy, and a bunch for just flat out KILLING people)- and her messages/advice to Star when struggling to deal with her power from her mewberty form was...questionable to say the least- she’s someone who seems to operate without consideration of responsibility- but that doesn’t mean that she’s not a schemer...

Some of the best villains or antagonists in fiction, are those that are usually right in some shape or form, that end up challenging the protagonist’s whole pov. Eclipsa could’ve been that. 

Eclipsa’s whole point of running away could’ve been tied to Toffee- maybe you could’ve had her whole plot be the fact that she was a long term planner, who wanted to fight monster racism- a good goal, in the less than moral way possible. Maybe she had pulled some strings in the background that, if the show had actually acted on the potential of Marco becoming an evil monster that joined Toffee’s side- or Toffee becoming something monstrously powerful- could’ve forced monsters and mewmans to work together against a united goal, showing that there was potential for the species to equally co-exist and work together- something that Eclipsa had realized a long time ago, but realized that she wouldn’t be the one to be the catalyst for such revolution- but she knew that someday, somehow there would be a potential princess who would, she just needed to ensure the right actions would lead to the right results. Would it be cliche? Yeah, but it would’ve been a lot better than flat out character assassination, untied plot ends, and MASSIVE GENOCIDE. 

Also speaking of the massive genocide, meteora and eclipsa- can we talk about that for a show that wants to be ‘complex’ when addressing social issues- it really seemed to ignore a lot of social issues in and of itself? It’s like racism is the only issue that anyone in this show cares to address.

No, like really- think about it.

Some of the mewmans live really really terribly- there’s clearly a caste system there, but it’s just passed off as comedy....why doesn’t it bother anyone??? Is poverty just not that important??? 

Some of the characters like Mina, and Moon, are clearly dealing with the trauma of their past- Mina who’s the victim of propaganda, and PTSD, has literal magic driving her crazy. But it’s usually passed off a joke and never further developed. The fact that Solaris, who is largely responsible for inventing such magic responsible the monstrocitity of a final we got- had the audacity to glare at someone who she, herself- recruited via BLATANT PROPOGANDA, and has suffered because of Solaris more than anyone else is disgusting. 

The journal pretty clearly depicts Solaris as a genocidal racist to- so am I the only one missing the ten character arcs of development that she must’ve underwent to love Meteora?  If it was in the journal, then that’s just terrible writing, because the watcher shouldn’t have to look for outside material when watching a tv show. 

Moon, who had her mother killed by Toffee, the same man- who literally steals her soul, caused the death of council member, and almost killed her own daughter. Imagine dealing with that, she was so distraught when she saw Toffee, who she thought killed Star, she could barely think right. How come her trauma is never addressed or talked about???

Now I’ll admit, I don’t like Steven Universe, it’s far from perfect with it’s delivery at times, but at least- it could address multiple issues with mental health, social issues and a caste system. It at least could address it’s internal and external character plot lines.

This show? The second half of it? Eh no.

(Ironically his earth friends leaving was a great analogy for all of the potential for the show to be awesome dissipating in the later half of this show)

Also can we talk about the fact that for a show that seems to speak out against racism so much- how come when Toffee wanted to destroy magic it was bad, but when Star does it, it’s good? Isn’t that a little racist in and of itself?

Other plot points that were also rendered pointless by this stupid twist:

SMH THEY REALLY WASTED PATRICK STUMP’S TIME LIKE THIS!!!

The awesome ballad of star butterfly (song doesn’t matter because star isn’t even the real future queen, little miss genocidal maniac is)

[d-criss-news]

20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music

While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.

While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.

1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?

Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.

2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?

They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.

3. On Instagram  you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?

Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.

4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was  when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.

5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.

6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.

7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?

My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.

8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.

9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?

10.  How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get, the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.

11.  What’s the last song you listened to?

I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.

12.  If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.

13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?

I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.

14. What’s your karaoke go-to?

The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”

15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

What I have up my sleeve.

16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?

Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

It’s A Wonderful Life.

18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.

19.  What new hobby did you take on in the last year?

I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.

20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?

I hope I get to play live shows again.

[brawltogethernow]

I suppose the next step then is "BBC Merlin but it's SpideyTorch"

Oh my god. TEACHER, TEACHER, SHE’S TARGETING ME okay okay uh.

Peter, secret warlock, goes to Camelot with his mother figure, May, who does not know about the warlock thing because it kicked in when he was a teenager and they both strategically decline to tell each other things. Gaius is Reed, who was the court sorcerer and is now the court scientist. (He’s not an old man except spiritually where he has been a senile professor since he was 19.) He literally didn’t change anything he was doing, considering science and magic as different points on one spectrum anyway-- No. That’s Doom’s schtick. DOOM was the court sorcerer, and was fired. He is upset about it. Reed is just a science guy but worked extensively with Victor, so he’s kind of useful, but not as useful as Peter was hoping.

I know very little about Sue and Johnny’s dad except that he’s a supervillain who...faked his death, revealed himself, and then died for real like 12 hours later? Did he also fake his wife’s death at some point? Would he do a mad king magic ban thing? Idk but for plot purposes we’ll say yes. They conveniently already share Arthur’s dead mom syndrome. Maybe their aunt whose name is different depending on what issue you’re reading is also here just to convolute the court drama. Wait no didn’t Arthur have a shady uncle show up after like five seasons. She.

Peter is very talented at finicky, specific magical formulas. (Reed: :) )But in practice he really prefers to just slam out a big wave of power, and if that doesn’t solve the problem, repeat until it does. (Reed: :( ) He gives this a go at the beginning of sorting out any problem, like restarting your glitching computer, and if it doesn’t work the problem is complicated enough to be an episode plot.

So obviously I’m still gonna do secret identity shit? Peter saves the young prince and heir’s life and is rewarded with a second job; he only came here for job reasons and you’re all lucky he doesn’t turn down paying jobs otherwise he’d be having some words with the king. Peter also accidentally becomes a masked vigilante out in the town. His very existence is illegal because he’s obviously doing magic! They keep sending his boss out to hunt him down, and their eyes are always locking dramatically and shit in brief silent stare-offs from opposite ends of the street in thunder storms at sunset until Johnny’s horse rears and breaks the eye contact causing Peter to snap out of it and flee. You know how it is.

Sue is older than Johnny and thus older than the magic ban, so she responded to it by going “:) That’s nice, Dad” and socking away a bunch of books before they could go on the fire, and now she’s just a sorceress on the dl. This is approx. a first season finale reveal, because her real superpower is being able to keep her mouth the hell shut. I literally cannot with how nobody in Merlin ever exchanges information, so shortly after Peter and Reed learn this they exchange secrets, like sane people, which opens up their resources a bit.

That said Sue is an extra legitimate royal, not the Morgana equivalent. Maybe Gwen should be Gwen, especially since I have thought Gwen/Johnny/Peter has potential since reading Spider-Man/Fantastic Four (which if you read an earlier ask, I recommend if you want to see new art of Gwen being mean in hair clips). But Peter/Gwen and Merlin/Freya are like...same energy except the latter wasn’t as well done. And Merlin’s Guinevere honestly more reminds me of Betty. Morgana--

(wheeze)

(cough)

Okay I thought this trying to reconcile as much of the cast as possible and I now can’t unthink it so. The king’s ward is Dorrie Evans. Yes she goes nebulously sapphic evil witch queen. Sure she was an unpleasant teenager and readers hate her, but you know what, I’ll simp, whatever. Let Dorrie poison some people. In a cape. This feels natural to me. Also Betty Brant and Dorrie Evans???? Betty/Dorrie vibes???? I guess!!!!

So like. The thing where Arthur gets mystically whammied by love potions once a month, except also Johnny’s normal relationship-anticipating giddiness happening organically mixed in, the part before he actually starts dating someone and becomes immediately depressed. Peter is in the bg sarcastically dismissing magical incidents saying he can’t even tell the difference, and Reed is like 😬 Please Check Anyway. Peter’s not, haha, Peter’s not jealous, Johnny is just an idiot, and, okay maybe Peter is a little jealous! But it doesn’t matter because the prince is going to marry some noble and--

Reed: Prince Johnathan is a bit like a little brother to me, so Please Stop Telling Me About Your Problems.

Reed/Sue is reciprocated but on permanent hold for class reasons. Spideytorch is in the same boat except they’re also stupid and working it out by dating their way through the whole country, except Peter is actually into that and Johnny is not.

The dragon is...Ezekiel?????? That’s the right level of wise wry mentor who’s very shady and will kill you, so he’s a dragon now. And when he tells Peter he’s the (other) chosen one, Peter full stop doesn’t believe him. This disbelief goes on extensively. Peter is not a fate-oriented person. Johnny would love to hear about the fate thing, but no one will tell him.

Literally I’m just going to add more chronologically unmoored medievalish shit to Merlin now to cram more of the cast in. There’s some kind of town crier/herald outfit, and Jonah is their boss. He’s just out in the road yelling sometimes even though he can delegate that. The buglers otherwise known as Bugle staff named Peter’s vigilante persona the Spider, which was supposed to sound menacing but is in practice also cool. This is out-of-universe fairly equivalent to Merlin’s real name as a neat two-syllable animal word and possible title. In-universe maybe I’d elbow out Emrys and just use this. Merlin is already very servants-don’t-work-like-that, so Betty just also has two jobs for no reason so she can knock elbows with them.

MJ is the court jester and knows absolutely everything, which is a dramatic mid-game reveal that isn’t exactly foreshadowed so much as always possible while carefully obscured from the viewer (the reader). Before this she’s already a Wise Fool, Shakespeare-ways archetype character, it’s just not clear how much. She is the most important character in Homestuck Merlin Spider.

Every ship is real for at least 30 seconds. Most of the extended FF cast are either magical antagonists or weird nobles.

Ben????? (Grimm, I mean. Ben Parker is dead. Ben Reilly is a recurring episodic plot.) This show was painfully formulaic and would simply not keep someone with any version of his deal in the main cast, but he’s a full quarter of the FF so. A magical accident approximated his rock body deal. Maybe specifically tying him to ~the magic of the land~. And then, uh. Wandering the country is too satellite-like. Hiding out in a forbidden castle wing is interesting but doesn’t do him justice. So I guess it’s a come and go semivoluntary transformation thing that’s kept secret? Rock werewolf. Were-rock. Good opportunity to fake out like you’re going to do a monster of the week plot, and then he contributes to the tension to abolish the magic ban.

Knights?? Wyatt is there from the beginning, being tall and reassuring (holding a sword edition). Not sure how him or his immediate ancestors got to Europe and then ended up this involved with the local nobility, but it was probably exciting. And Flash, or he’s an early addition. Either way he’s from the same village as Peter and is approximately White’s Kay, except directed at the wizard instead of the future king, and otherwise you can completely superimpose their comic dynamic including the fanboying over the secret identity angle, which is entertainingly seditious. ...Others. I don’t know enough FF characters for this. I’ve accidentally implied the eventual addition of Bennet Brant, but his evil sorcerer of the week energy is very strong, so maybe not. Randy eventually because I already implied the Robertsons and can see it.

This is so long, covers nothing, and explains none of the namechecks. Using both these characters’ franchises in one fusion is too much stuff. I keep not talking about the core relationship because it’s just. Like That. I don’t feel like I need to elaborate on the Merthur dynamic, even transposed on a different ship. It’s Just Like That.

[tigerkirby215]

5e Akshan, the Rogue Sentinel build (League of Legends)

(Artwork made for League of Legends by Riot Games.)

HE’S HERE HE’S HERE HESHEREHESHEREHESHEREHESHEREHESHEREHESHERE...

It’s no secret I’ve been excited for Akshan since he was first announced; the prospect of a grappling hook champ was simply too interesting for me. Seeing him now... I’m having slight reservations? I really dislike his Scoundrel mechanic (who had “bring back Garen Villain mechanic” and “revival mechanic” on their 200 years Bingo card?) and I kinda wish the grappling hook was incorporated more into his kit but... he still seems fun? It looks like he plays like a Twitch with more of an assassin focus, and Twitch has always been a fun character. I’m probably not buying him immediately on release but I’ll grab him when he drops down to a standardized price.

But anyways I’m here to build funny grappling hook man! ...Without his grappling hook. Look I’m going to tell you right now that while there is a grappling hook in 5e there’s little way to get a grappling hook gun like Akshan has, and while I’ll do my best to provide options in this build don’t get your hopes up. If that’s enough to make you lose interest in the build I’m sorry, but I do hope you stick around to read it anyways.

GOALS

Reclaimed by the light, yade yade yada... - Reviving people in real life is hard. Reviving people in League of Legends is a little easier. Reviving people in D&D though? Pretty easy.

Stealth time! I mean, stealth time...! - You will never guess what class the character with “Rogue” in their title is.

Only one way out of this mess; skyward! - Like I said I unfortunately can’t give you a grappling hook... gun. I can still give you the grappling hook item, and ways to climb out of dangerous situations!

RACE

Akshan is human according to the lore, so feel free to leave your complaints about Variant Human at the door. You can put +1 into your Strength and Dexterity for super Akshan action! You can also grab proficiency with the Persuasion skill (because how can you say no to that smile?) and whatever language would fit as Shuriman.

Of course Variant Humans get to grab a feat at level 1, and hello Crossbow Expert my old friend! Get that double-shot passive in while also fighting up-close and dirty. Oh and not needing to reload is obviously nice.

ABILITY SCORES

15; DEXTERITY - You’re still a marksman, which of course means Dexterity for shooting.

14; CHARISMA - You fight with a roguish charm. Rules are more like guidelines really, and why follow rules if they ruin your style?

13; STRENGTH - You need strength to throw grappling hooks if your DM doesn’t give you a proper grappling hook gun. Also carrying reobtained loot from warlords is nice.

12; CONSTITUTION - Even if you’re a squishy marksman / assassin having health is still a good thing.

10; WISDOM - You picked a few too many fights with bad people, but you’ve still got a good heart.

8; INTELLIGENCE - Grappling hooks are cool and all but attaching a grappling hook to an ancient relic used to vanquish a prophesized evil isn’t the brightest plan, and ignoring that prophesized evil for your own personal vengeance quest isn’t a good idea either.

Feel free to swap Strength and Constitution if you want better health but worse grappling hook tosses.

BACKGROUND

Akshan was an Urchin before being saved by Shadya. You get proficiency with Stealth and Slight of Hand as well as some tools, but I’d honestly suggest replacing them with Jeweler's Tools and Leatherworker’s Tools to keep your outfit in check. (Mostly because you get Thieves’ Tools from your class and won’t need a Disguise Kit.)

As a Shuriman kid you know all of the City Secrets. When you are not in combat, you can lead your allies through the city twice as fast as your speed would normally allow. Being a street kid does give you some valuable knowledge!

(Artwork made for Legends of Runeterra by Riot Games.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1

Wow who would’ve guessed the character with “Rogue” in their title is a Rogue?! As a Rogue you get proficiency in Acrobatics, Athletics, Insight, and Deception. But feel free to swap it up to make your own Akshan! You can also get Expertise in Acrobatics for rope-swinging tricks, and Stealth to hunt down scoundrels!

When you find the scoundrels deliver swift Comeuppance with a Sneak Attack! If you have advantage or fight dirty with an ally near the enemy you can do an extra d6 of damage with your shot! And to top it off you’ve spent enough times in the streets of Shurima to know how scoundrels talk and can use Thieves’ Cant to trick them that you’re one of them, or can listen to scoundrels talking to know when to stop them.

LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2

Second level Rogues can opt not to attack and instead use a Cunning Action to Dash, Disengage, or Hide as a Bonus Action. “To the shadows; where the scoundrels hide!”

LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3

Third level Rogues get to choose their Roguish Archetype, and to get the ability to swing around on ropes the Thief is about as good as you’re going to get. That’s because Second-Story Work makes it so climbing ropes doesn’t cost extra movement, and also lets you jump further if you have a running start. In addition you have Fast Hands, allowing you to use your Cunning Action to make a Sleight of Hand check, use your thieves’ tools to disarm a trap or open a lock, or take the “Use an Object” action.

Now here’s the thing about using your grappling hook: most DMs would consider throwing a Grappling Hook to be a “Use an Object” action. So as a Bonus Action you can throw your grappling hook and then use your climbing speed to climb up the rope, as if you were grappling upwards! Of course talk to your DM if that’s okay, but if they let it happen you’ve practically got a flying speed at level 3! As long as there’s walls to grapple on, at least. “Akshan, away!”

And to top it off your Sneak Attack also increase to 2d6.

LEVEL 4 - ROGUE 4

Feel free to skip your first ASI if you want some Sentinel abilities first, but I consider Dexterity more important for a Rogue. More shooting, more AC, and better stealth!

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 5 - WARLOCK 1

The Light Sentinels are a powerful, ancient entity who gave you powers in exchange for a set of rules. Just because the one who signed you up is dead and you don’t really follow the rules doesn’t mean you can’t still use their powers! But truthfully I just wanted a Charisma caster and you all know how much I love Warlock. Naturally powers against darkness and undead would be Celestial in nature! While you normally use The Absolver’s Healing Light to revive people healing is also useful. You have a pool of d6s equal to your Warlock level plus one. As a bonus action you can heal a creature you can see within 60 feet of you, spending dice from the pool. The maximum number of dice you can spend at once equals your Charisma modifier. Roll the dice you spend, add them together, and restore a number of hit points equal to the total. You regain all expended dice when you finish a long rest.

In addition as a Celestial Warlock you get Bonus Cantrips like the Light cantrip to see with your dumb human eyes as well as Sacred Flame cantrip to deliver Comeuppance! And of course to get cantrips you also get Pact Magic! You learn two cantrips from the Warlock list like Prestidigitation to be cool and flashy, and Mage Hand which can help you with your... legitimate business.

You can also learn two first level spells like Guiding Bolt and Cure Wounds, straight from the Celestial List! Mark a foe as a scoundrel and keep your friends alive and well! “Go; and die no more.”

LEVEL 6 - WARLOCK 2

Second level Warlocks get Eldritch Invocations: normally you get two but we’re only going to take one for now. But which one? Mage Armor is the best AC you’re going to get until you get magic armor which means that Armor of Shadows could be good, but Mask of Many Faces will let you choose your outfits however you please, and keep them from getting dirty! Basically I’m leaving you with a choice: if you want better AC but worse infiltration go for Armor of Shadows. Alternatively if you want the ability to sneak around in plain sight then Mask of Many Faces is a good choice for you!

You could also learn another Warlock spell but we’re going to wait for...

LEVEL 7 - WARLOCK 3

Third level Warlocks get their Pact Boon, and while the Absolver isn’t quite a “blade” Pact of the Blade is still the boon related to using cool ancient relic weapons! If you want to upgrade Pact of the Blade into “Pact of the Blade and also Sentinel Weapons” take Improved Pact Weapon.

Now here’s where I’m going to have to tell you to homebrew with your DM a little: for whatever reason Improved Pact Weapon lets you summon a shortbow, longbow, light crossbow, or heavy crossbow. Notice that there’s no Hand Crossbow on that list. This (technically) means that you can’t summon a Hand Crossbow, even if you take the Invocation tax for Improved Pact Weapon. Pact of the Blade does let you bind to any weapon... as long as its magical, and the lowest level magical Hand Crossbow you can get is either a +1 Hand Crossbow or a Crossbow of Warning. (Both good items to have but not necessarily something you’ll find in your adventures.) In short the official rules don’t let you have a Hand Crossbow.

Honestly I see no reason why you can’t have a Pact Hand Crossbow, but if your DM’s a stickler about it you can survive with either a Heavy Crossbow or a Longbow. (Depending on your preference.) If your DM doesn’t allow you to use a Hand Crossbow take Sharpshooter as your level 1 feat instead of Crossbow Expert, as you’ll get more use out of it.

tl;dr talk to your DM about letting Improved Pact Weapon let you summon a Hand Crossbow. If they say no edit the build with that in mind.

Anyways you can also learn more spells like Invisibility to sneak around, and Misty Step for good ol’ Flash.

LEVEL 8 - WARLOCK 4

4th level Warlocks can get an Ability Score Improvement... or a Feat! It would be easier just to grab Eldritch Adept now and talk about which Invocation you’ll use it for next level.

You can prepare another spell at this level at least, and also learn another cantrip! For your cantrip Minor Illusion can be used to make distractions while sneaking, and Mirror Image is a good spell to keep alive.

There are other spells you can take instead if you so desire. Lesser Restoration from the Celestial list is never bad to have, and Darkness can be used as a Smoke Bomb which you can’t see through with your dumb human eyes. And of course there’s the obviously good spells like Hold Person or Shatter. I’m trying to build what’s most accurate to Akshan, as well as what I believe would be the most useful. Feel free to change the build as you wish.

LEVEL 9 - WARLOCK 5

5th level Warlocks get more invocations like Thirsting Blade for a bit more attack speed with your Absolver. You can also cash in that Eldritch Adept Invocation to take One With Shadows, to hide in the shade of a wall until it’s time to surprise your foes! “That’s right; it is I!”

And finally we’ve got our revive! Take Revivify to bring someone back from the dead, as long as it was fairly recent. And the best part is you don’t even need to kill the person who killed them! But you will need a lot of diamonds, which can get expensive. “Dear friends: please stop dying. Love, Akshan.”

There’s several other third level spells you could potentially take (notably Thunder Step which might be a good replacement for Misty Step if you don’t mind throwing stealth out the window) but it’s up to you to take them.

(Artwork by @Tsvetyaa on Twitter.)

LEVEL 10 - ROGUE 5

Now that you’ve got the Sentinel part down it’s time to hone your Roguish skills! 5th level Rogues can use their reaction for an Uncanny Dodge, halving the damage from an attack they saw coming. In addition your Sneak Attack increases to 3d6.

LEVEL 11 - ROGUE 6

6th level Rogues get Expertise in two more skills: Deception and Persuasion would be useful to charm your way out of danger.

LEVEL 12 - ROGUE 7

7th level Rogues can swing out of danger with Evasion: if you make a Dexterity saving throw and succeed, you take no damage! And even if you fail you only take half damage! Oh and your Sneak Attack is now 4d6. “Consider yourself, absolved.”

LEVEL 13 - ROGUE 8

8th level Rogues get an Ability Score Improvement: let’s cap off that Dexterity to be the best shot you can be!

(Artwork made for League of Legends by Riot Games.)

LEVEL 14 - ROGUE 9

9th level Thief Rogues can never be found as long as they’re careful. Supreme Sneak gives you advantage on Stealth checks if you move no more than half your speed on your turn. This has insane synergy with One With Shadows as you can turn invisible and then get advantage on stealth (because for some reason being invisible doesn’t do that.) And of course if you go slow and steady you can sneak around just about anything, which is great for when you pop out to do 5d6 Sneak Attack damage! “Ha! I have you now!”

LEVEL 15 - ROGUE 10

Rogues get a few extra Ability Score Improvements... one extra, to be precise. But that means you can bump up your Charisma to be better at socialization and all that Warlock stuff.

LEVEL 16 - ROGUE 11

11th level Rogues get Reliable Talent, meaning the lowest you can roll on a skill you’re proficient in is 10. I always like to go through your skills when you get this ability to show what the bare minimum you can roll is, so...

27 on Acrobatics or Stealth

25 on Deception or Persuasion

21 on Slight of Hand

18 on Athletics

16 on Insight

And your Sneak Attack is now 6d6. What fun!

LEVEL 17 - ROGUE 12

12th level Rogues get yet another Ability Score Improvement, which of course means more Charisma!

(Artwork made for Legends of Runeterra by Riot Games.)

LEVEL 18 - ROGUE 13

13th level Thief Rogues can use any Sentinel weapon they reacquisition thanks to Use Magic Device. You ignore all class, race, and level requirements on the use of magic items, letting you have fun with whatever toys you find. And when all else fails your Absolver now packs a 7d6 Sneak Attack!

LEVEL 19 - ROGUE 14

14th level Rogues are so good at sneaking they can catch the sneakers! You have a 10 foot Blindsense to know if anyone’s hiding near you.

LEVEL 20 - ROGUE 15

Our final level is the 15th level of Rogue for Slippery Mind... You get proficiency in Wisdom saving throws. That’s it. Well how’s about 8d6 Sneak Attack as a final sendoff?

FINAL BUILD

PROS

I’ve got something for you! It’s... comeuppance - Three shots with a Hand Crossbow means three chances to apply your 8d6 Sneak Attack! Akshan is all about burst and burst people down you can certainly do!

Sometimes I even sneak up on myself - Supreme Sneak, One With Shadows, and the Invisibility spell will help you move around in the shadows without being spotted. And even without that you have a minimum 27 Stealth roll thanks to Reliable Talent!

You are reclaimed. Go! Live! - It obviously goes without saying but a little bit of healing helps a lot in the long run. Everyone can appreciate a pick me up.

CONS

You try to rest and some lowlife kills one of your palls! - You have a lot more limited resources than the average Warlock as your Healing Light only comes back after a Long Rest. What’s more is that most of your spells are utility based so it might be hard to get use out of the renewable nature of Warlock spell slots. And to top it off Revivify is expensive! So you’d best be ready to spend a lot of diamonds.

I live by my own code: don’t be an ass - Your Charisma unfortunately isn’t maxed out, which means your Warlock abilities aren’t maxed out. But you don’t really need maxed out Charisma as most of your spells are utility based... I’m just saying Sharpshooter is an option.

Shadya would approve of this... I think - You missed out on level 17 of Thief Rogue which means you don’t get arguably one of the strongest Rogue abilities in the game: Thief’s Reflexes. If you’re not going to get to level 20 anytime soon I think that this build is quite good but if you’re going to get to a high level maybe ditch the revives? (It’s more than likely that Cleric can do it better.)

But you’re enough of a hero without the super-awesome relic weapon that can bring people back from the dead; that’s just an added bonus... as is the grappling hook! Use your natural awesomeness to sneak up your foes and then use your legitimately-obtained weapons-of-mass-absolution to vanquish any scoundrel in your way! And if a depressed ghost king comes knocking tell him that the maximum time limit on your revives expired. “Silly Viego, we can’t bring back those we’ve lost. I mean, I can. But not you.”

(Artwork made for Legends of Runeterra by Riot Games.)

[chaos-caffeinated]

Emotions can help you remember (1/3) (Sebastian x Reader)

A/N: Hi everyone, it’s chaos here with a new story on this shared blog- who knew right? Well, I thought, okay maybe I got and obsesed over a character I thought I had cycled in 2013/4, but no. This is my contribution to Black Butler, finally after being updated in the manga. I hope you enjoy this piece just as much as I enjoyed it. 

Not requested

Rated: NSFT / 18+

A/N: I am a fucking sucker for plot, so this will be like a 2-parter, maybe 3-parter over 10,000+ words before even getting remotely close to the smut....ayayayay, this is what happens when you have too much time.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Now then, again.” his voice was the richest, smoothest voice with the right amount of sulk into it instructed you to repeat the french phrase in front of you. 

You were currently taking French lessons from Sebastian as you stayed over with Lord Phantomhive for a couple of days. You were being used as a decoy to the case of the missing noble girls. You were the daughter of a merchant, more of an intern for Nina Hopkins. She constantly admired your body, your face, your complexion- everything about you was perfect and she was to use you like the perfect model “you were meant to be”. However, when the door to the shop opened and walked in a short, well-dressed teenager with grayish hair with an eye-patch over his right eye with a man walking behind him; black-clad, black hair, pale, white skin, those crimson eyes, and those lips of his that enticed you the moment your eyes landed on him, you sensed something non-well.

You were organizing the fabric that was sent, until you heard the ring, you turned slightly to greet the costumers, “Hello, welcome to Hopkins’ Tailor Shop.” You smiled warmly at the costumers. When Nina appeared from the next room, she expressed her excitement, admiring the physique he was in, “The earl as beautiful as always.” She dramatically placed the back of her hand on her forehead, “Of course it’s only the few people here in England with such magnificent body! I am truly blessed with these canvases!~” 

You noticed the earl’s lip twitch, but maintaining his cool so that he wouldn’t offend her. As you tilted your head in an observing state -the man behind noticing this- he cleared his throat softly to regain the focus, reading from a small notebook he withdrew from his pocket, “Miss Hopkins, we are here today so you would tailor a few suits for the young master regarding an upcoming meeting with the Lord of Visdral.” the man explained, assuming he was the butler by the mannerisms as well as the language he spoke, “This meetings is regarding about discussing further achievements that could aid in Funtom’s Company be located in the Northern European countries.” 

You listened, and like Nina taught you- you thought. You knew very little, but barely enough to rack up a few ideas, but the mistress of the Tailor will always be ahead of her game. However, she turned around, her eyes on you, ”(Y/N)! Let’s test your abilities, of course I have many -and I mean many choices!- but if you want to fully work here, I need to trust your instincts, let’s work on the suits for him- shall we?” and she proceeded to unbutton her skirt, revealing her well-known outfits that permitted the ease to manuever as well as the activity that she is allowed to.

You smiled, sat the fabrics you held in your arms on the counter and nodded, “Yes, Madam!” You grinned with confidence.

~

The butler glanced  at your expressions every chance he could and you noticed it. Nina had provided a wooden divider to give you the privacy needed to create the suits,knowing it was your first real opportunity to tailor for someone. The pressure was on, especially when he started making his way to you. Sometimes your eyes wanted to see him, you wanted to look at him once more, but you had to maintain focus. So, when you heard the heels stop at a distance, you were legitimally surprised to hear his voice, “If I may ask, how is it going along?” He asked in a sweet manner, “I assume the suit is coming well if Miss Hopkins is entrusting your inquiries.” He smiled politely as he remained still. 

You had to turn your back as you focused on a piece to avoid him from noticing the red tint across your cheeks, “It is going well I suppose. And as for the inquiry, I’m sure Madam just wanted me to test my skills as I haven’t gotten the opportunity to do so.” You added, also justifying your actions.

Still smiling, the butler commented, “My lady, I assure any suit you create will be much better than the controversy Miss Hopkins creates-” 

“I heard that, you old-fashion geez!” Bickered Nina as she sneered towards him, “Your old-fashions have no rights to be here, and my dear (Y/N) will be better than me in means of creating the most beautiful, and trendiest outfits in the United Kingdom. Sweetie, don’t listen to this senile.” Nina insulted the butler with every sense of herself. 

The man looked physically attacked and turned to argue with your madam. You had to hold in the laughter, forcing yourself back to your creation when you noticed even the earl slightly irritated, almost like this was the 100th time he has seen them bickering and he did not want to be apart of this ordeal. That alone gave you the slight confidence needed to present your suit to him. 

While Nina successfully managed to get under the butler’s nerves, you announced, “Earl of phanatomhive, Madam, I have finished.” You smiled, pushing your chest slightly with confidence in your suit. 

Getting the attention of all three, the earl stood up with a sigh of relief, “Finally, for once I’d like to hear someone else. Sebastian.” He called out, the butler responding by standing next to him  while remaining behind. His crimson red eyes maintained his attention while Nina stood the other side of the earl, “Alright, (Y/N), show us what you have.”  She grinned with pride, hoping that you would surpass her, though her standards were extremely high. 

Folding up the divider, the suit was displayed to the three. It was a black suit with mutliple white highlights at the cuffs, even the rims held a golden thread, minimally used at the areas. The suit was longer with slimness in the middle, adding emphasis to his waist, the cloth underneathh the suit were white cloth that seemed perfectly cut, mimicking feathers. There was a minimal bustle added that pushed the cloth to resemble the feathers underneath. 

Now feeling nervous, feeling a breeze that could be able to sweep you from the shop to the void, you gulped some salive, let out a small breath and began to explain, “Though this suit is exactly nothing under Madam’s standards, I thought it was appropiate for the meeting. I am aware that the meeting is a casual, business one, with potential deal, so I considered the nobles in the Northern European countries. However, I remember looking over some pictures with Madam, how noblemen and women avoid presenting themselves in the standing...she was disappointed, so with that information I acquired, I believe this suit is subtle enough, yet rightfully suitable to appear in a business meeting.” Now you got closer to feel the fabric between your fingers, following the highlights, “Simple colors such as blue, red, green, etcetera mean countless of symbolic meanings, so using these shades instead would be much more efficnet to emit not only a reaction, but to introduce yourself without saying so.” You glanced across your audience. 

Madam was ready to cut the whole thing off, her expression was not only shocking, but her eyebrows were furrowed in a confused expression. The earl, however, looked as if he was interested, listening attentively with his left hand resting on the cane and his right forefinger and thumb carressing his chin. The butler, or Sebastian, stood still with the politness he presented. Out of all of them, he seemed to be genuinely interested in your piece and your explanation. So, you continued. 

Your feet fidgeting slightly, your rolled your shoulders slightly and proceeded, “The shade of black is very known to be symbolized as not only death, struggle, evil: the color is highly interpreted into meanings that represent despair and anything that is beyond good to be avoided. However, the color black also symbolizes mystery, no one knows who you are, and it is always hard to look beyond the color black. When you are to meet with the Lord of Visdral, you are not only introducing yourself as a business partner, but as any being you want to intriduce yourself as. Respect will get you anywhere, not everywhere- but anywhere, so this suit is also a respect of showing your being to someone else. Moving onto the final shade, white, my lord, could you perhaps tell me how you see white?...” You asked timidly, but when glancing at Sebastian, he must’ve noticed your shyness and he raised his own chest slightly and lifted his chin up a bit as well. Subconsciously, you rose your chest a bit and lifted your chin a bit as well. 

Looking back at the earl, he simply smirked, “The color white is known by many places...purity, innocence, goodness...” and you may have noticed a slight hesitancy on his part, “and virginity.” he stood with pride. 

Smiling and nodding in agreement, you praised him, “Right my lord, people do associate this bright shade as such, but going back to interpretations, this shade does not represent as such, in your case, it can mean a successful beginning for the Funtom Company.”

Sebastian’s eyes widen slightly in interest, his smirk widening as he glanced down at his young master who was also surprised at the response. He noticed his smile widening slightly and taking a gulp. 

“...Do take me as impressed, Miss...?” The earl tilted his head slightly, his ear more noticeable to hear your name, and you responded. 

“(L/N), my lord.”

“Miss (L/N), you did a pleasant job in such craftmanship and your meaning behind it was impeccable.” He stepped forward towards the suit, you responding by stepping aside. You tilted your head forward out of respect and couldn’t see what he was doing. 

Sebastian watched you with an immense stare, his interest was piqued, “Miss. Hopkins, I do believe you have a wonderful intern, capturing my young master’s attention with such a beautiful piece no less. I didn’t think you would capture my kind of fashion.” He smirked mockingly towards, seeing her glare at him. 

You blushed at his words, slightly facing away to avoid eye contact. 

Nina fumed at his comment, “Your fashions are senile just like you, she didn’t do it for you- she did it for the young master!”

“You are right in many things, Miss (Y/N).” The earl complimented, taking the white cloth between his fingers as he glanced at you, “The mystery in me, the symbolisms- why, you could’ve fooled me if you were a undercover intern for Miss. Hopkins when you are a noble yourself.”

You bowed slightly, “Thank you my lord for such compliments, but I assure you that I was just blessed to have found the people along my life to give me this knowledge.”

“Blessed, hm?...then I am very much grateful, though for such a small meeting such as this one you made a very thought out piece- do excuse me.” The earl turned, “Nina, would you show me the suits you made?” 

 Oh, so it was just an excuse to stop them from bickering like they had before, you smiled in an amused way that when you watched him walk with the madam, you failed to notice Sebastian make his way to your side, “I do believe I was very rude to not introduce myself, for that I aplogize deeply.” His sulky voice interuppted your thoughts, surprising you nonetheless. Seeing him bow, you waved your hands lightly, “Nonono- it’s completely alright, I was working on it, it was me who should’ve apologized instead. I neglected your presence over something like a suit..”

“But a suit you made as exquisite should be recognized, Miss. (L/N). I am Sebastian Michaelis, head butler of the Phantomhive Manor.” he smiled with his eyes closed, before he revealed the crimson eyes that intrigued you, “It’s not hard to believe that a lady such as a yourself would be working under someone like Nina Hopkins, someone known for her controversies in styles, you not only piqued my interest, but my master as well, not many are succesful.”

You smiled, even intertwining your fingers in front of you, “Thank you so much Sebastian, but it is because of Miss. Hopkins that I learned to do this. Simple, yet complex. And I also like to thank you as well for that tip you gave me when explaning the meaning behind it. Without the explanantion, I believe Madam would not have thought it was good enough to display without my reasoning.” You sighed softly in relieved, placing your hand on your sternum. 

Sebastian’s lip curled slightly more to make a smirk, his eyes even widening slightly for a mere moment, “Well of course, a piece of clothing to have such intricate reasoning deserved to be heard. Which, if you don’t mind me asking, how did you even go to that convoluted explanantion?” He asked in a curious manner. 

“Well, it’s an intuition really, the earl walks in and the same thought appears like any other costumer, ‘Who is he?’ “What piece of clothing would he be looking for?’ then...you walk in...” this time, when you mentioned him, he shifted slightly, his emotion remained, but his eyes told you something, “Oh?...Do tell Miss. (L/N), you managed to keep me on edge the entire time.” He smirked.

“Your whole entirety is black, Sebastian, you are the mystery that I am completely curious about you, so for a master like him- that mystery resides in himself as well. I meant it when I said about interpretations- it means anything and everything...including the white.”

Sebastian’s eyebrows quirked sligthly, taking that as another surprise on his part, “You are so much more that what you lead on, Miss. (L/N). So, I assume the white, with successful beginning is a reference to the mystery behind his right eye?” He propose which you blushed softly, smiling sheepishly, “A bit?...” You coward, only to hear a few tongue clicks from him, “Miss. (L/N), staring is very rude.” His teasing made you blush even further, and for a moment, for a single moment...

You understood how Nina Hopkins felt, and how she rose to despise him. 

You nodded, slowly, your lips pursed but not in anger. You weren’t angry, you saw the interaction between Madam and Sebastian- you know he can say things that can cause her to lash and get a chuckle in. And it’s not his fault too, she also started something to piss him off. 

“I wasn’t staring, Sebastian...it’s my job to assist Madam, observe the client for potential ideas and offer them if asked.” You raised your chest and lifted your chin. 

On the inside, Sebastian felt completely intrigued, his interest for you had increased and he wndered if it would be worth the while since he was under contract with Ciel. The way you bit back had him hoping to return with him for the slight entertainment, and knowing you can be like this meant he can continue, “So you did just that, and even risked your Madam by possibly offending the young master?”

Now you looked confused, “My word, Mr. Michaelis, to assist the Madam is to perform at her level, if not different to satisfy the client’s wishes by reading their behavior. The earl could have stopped his head butler from a dispute with a highly-respected tailored woman, but he remained quiet and irritated. Therefore, he is conservative, knowing full well of your relationship with her and still letting it slide. Smart nobleman, for someone who is younger than all the noblemen in England, he doesn’t waste time on small things like- so with that, Mr. Michaelis, I tried to emphasize it when others meet him: he is not just a child, he is a true nobleman.” and with that, you stepped forward, having to look at a higher angle to continue the eye contact, your chests nearly touching. 

If Sebastian could somehow turned the lady in front of him into a kitten with a simple collar, he wouold just as easily do it. He almost -almost- got a tingle from how this human lady owned him with just words. Now he hoped more often to see her, to challenge her, to talk to her, just everything. 

“I apologize, Miss. (L/N), you were right. It’s important to read a client. But, my lady, I warn you if you read someone too much, you might regret it later.” He smirked, and when he was called, he stepped back and bowed slightly before walkign to his master to assist him in picking up the suits he decided on. 

He included the suit you made, of course, and the earl walked up to you, “Miss. (L/N), thank you again, your first time making a tailored suit is simply wonderful. it won’t be long before I return for another one.”

You thanked him, watched him leave only for your eyes to travel back to Sebastian who caught you, smirking softly “Until next time, Miss. (L/N).” before entering after his master in the carriage  

 And sure enough, after a few weeks, they would be returning to the shop, not for suits, but for you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

2nd PART: https://chaos-caffeinated.tumblr.com/post/624096941187481600/emotions-can-help-you-remember-part-2-sebastian

A/N: Holyyyyyyyyyy damn that was amazing- whooo is this what ectascy feel like because that was a rush. I did not want to rush it but holy damn did that feel good!!! I admit I ma not as good as interptreting and as capturing of the dynamic duo as I did not expect because this is really the first time I’m writing these two since my first cycle of fan-girling and I was just too damn excited not to write it out and practice. I’ll be posting the second chapter when I can, but please do not hesitate to leave comments, share, any criticism you have (I know that some fans can be hardcore to the strictness of writing the character exactly as descriptive, sooo...I like that, I like that shit, so do tell). Thank you all and good morning/afternoon/nioght/day/moment/secoond. 

So it did feel a little rush towards the end because it did get too long for my liking for a SUPPOSED ONESHOT...but like I said, I a sucker for plot, so if you like plot- you are in the right place bb!

[fatal-error-blog]

A Peaceful_Fundraiser has Occurred - An Effort to Fight Against Racial Injustice!

Hey everyone, this is going to be a long (but important) post. Given the title of this post, I’m sure you know what I’m about to mention. So before I get started I just want to say that it’s totally okay to not want to see this on your dash, coming from this blog specifically. While this is a really important issue that shouldn’t be shied away from, I do 1000% recognize that this blog has always been (very purposefully) kept as a fun and safe place for us all to enjoy a good story together. Heck, this blog is a safe place for me, too. I like knowing that I can come here and focus on content that makes me happy, and that makes you all happy, and just escape from how gross the world can be for a little while. But I also realize that I have the power to do some good, and I want to try to do some good, with your help, hopefully. I want you to know that it’s okay if you don’t want to see mention of what’s going on out there, here.

Any post I make on this blog that specifically references the racial injustice movement going on right now will be tagged with ‘FE BLM Fundraiser’. You are more than welcome to block that tag so you don’t have to see it here. It’s truly okay, I promise.

With that being said, let’s get into this!

I’ve never done anything like this before, so please bear with me! But like I said, I want to do some good with your help, hopefully. So I’ve made a charity fundraiser page where the proceeds will be going to the Black Lives Matter Global Network. If you’re not aware, there has been a lot of turbulence regarding racial injustice and police brutality going on all over the world, centered mostly in the United States. There are so many resources out there with information on what’s going on and different ways you can help (even without donating any money!) and I encourage you to do your research if it’s something you feel you need to be more enlightened on. I took a couple of days to think about how I wanted to help, and I thought that a fundraiser with awesome goals could be a really great thing! To be honest I’m not sure if we’ll reach many goals, but I think it’s worth a try, and no matter what, every little bit helps :) So here’s the deal:

A link to the donation page is here: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/fatal-error-blog

This fundraiser will run through the month of June, all the way up until midnight, June 30th EST!

Anyone who donates at least $15 will be able to receive a free commission from me!

Commissions will be a colored character bust (so like, from the top of their head to just below their shoulders) of a character of your choosing (not necessarily just Undertale themed, and can also include original characters or characters in different fandoms). This is a bit cheaper than my normal commission rate, so it’s a great opportunity to get some cool art if you’ve always wanted some!

If you want to claim your free commission, you need to: 1) Contact me via tumblr (@xedramon or @fatal-error-blog) or via email (xedramon@gmail.com) saying you’d like your commission

2) Send me a screenshot of your (at least) $15 donation

3) Tell me the name of the character you want, and a reference picture I can use

*** You MUST contact me to get your commission. Pretty sure I’m not able to see how much people donate so I will have no way to reach out to you, so you have to reach out to me first! Commissions will get done as quickly as possible, and will be sent via however you contacted me (so either tumblr or email)

FUNDRAISER GOALS!

So along with the commissions, there are community goals we can all reach together! I feel like some of the higher goals are a bit daunting to reach, but if we reach them, good for us! Each goal has a fun reward attached to it that I think is worth the goal we’re trying to reach. $50 - Everyone here gets to vote on an Undertale AU to be featured in an upcoming chapter of A Fatal_Error has Occurred! It can be anything, from an AU that hasn’t appeared yet, to one that already has, to one that you think would be hilarious or cool to see, whatever! Only stipulation is that the creator of that AU has to give me permission to include it. If this goal is reached, I’ll make a list of the AUs people want to see in order of what was voted for, just in case the 1st place winner doesn’t give me permission, I’ll check with 2nd place, and so on.

$100 - I’ll host a Game Night Livestream! We’ll pick a date, and play some stream-friendly games (like Jackbox Party Pack!) for several hours! Perhaps we’ll even do two nights so that people can choose which night works better for them :)

$175 - I’ll host a 12 Hour Art Livestream! What’ll happen is that the stream session will be broken down into different segments (so maybe for a couple hours we do a request stream, and then we switch to working on something else, etc). People will have the opportunity to vote on the date we do the stream.

$250 - Everyone here gets to vote on which side comic I work on next! This means I’ll give everyone a couple of choices to pick from with a brief idea of what each side comic would be about. Everyone votes, and I’ll start on the winning side comic immediately. This is a great opportunity to basically demand that you get to see what you’re most excited about sooner rather than later!

$500 - This goal guarantees that Chapter Five of A Fatal_Error has Occurred will be completed by the end of THIS YEAR. Which is some seriously insane pacing, but hey if we reach this goal, a promise is a promise!

$750 - I will create a (hopefully awesome) Fatal_Error animation! I have a couple of ideas in mind, and perhaps I’ll let you all vote on what idea you’d like to see come to life the most. I am the most nervous about this goal, haha!

$1000 - I’ll host a 24 Hour Art Livestream!!! That means exactly what it sounds like! We’ll pick a date, I’ll take the most intense nap the world has ever known before we start, and then we’re gonna stream for 24 hours straight. I’ll set up a schedule so we do different things every few hours to keep it interesting. It’ll be so rad!

$2000 - Everyone here gets to vote on an Undertale themed tattoo (an honest to goodness permanent one) that I will, 100%, absolutely get! How this will work is that everyone will be able to suggest what I should get, I’ll pick a handful of the most popular ideas (that I’m cool with having on my body for the rest of forever) and you all will get to vote on what I get! This would, of course, occur once tattoo shops are allowed to open back up and it’s safe for me to go get one. But I promise you, I’ll do it and it’s gonna be AWESOME.

$3000 - Last but certainly not least, if this goal is reached then I will resume working on Sondertale again, alongside working on A Fatal_Error has Occurred. What’s Sondertale? Well, it’s another UT AU comic I started on before I ever began Fatal_Error’s comic. I ended up setting it aside so that I could focus on Fatal’s comic instead, and over time there has been some...surprisingly popular demand/request that I return to working on it. Originally I was going to consider what to do with it after Fatal’s comic is done, but if this rather large goal is reached then I will pick right back up where we left off and commit to finishing the comic, in it’s originally intended comic format. It’ll be a LOT of work (which is why getting a legitimate permanent tattoo is an easier goal to reach than this) but if we work together to donate this much, then it’ll be absolutely worth it.

And that’s it for the goals! I think that the higher goals will be plenty hard to reach, but if somehow we surpass the highest goal then uhh...I guess we’ll talk about what kind of goals you all might like to see after that, haha.

This fundraiser will run through the rest of June - so if you would like to donate and help contribute to seeing some of these goals realized, please do!

I will reblog this post on the following days: June 7th, June 14th, June 21st, and June 28th as a reminder, and also to update everyone on how the fundraiser is going. As goals are hit, I’ll also mention them on the blog so we can all share in the excitement of what’s to come!

Thank you so, so, so much for your consideration, your help, and your support. Please stay safe, stay hopeful, and stay determined.

Link to fundraiser page: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/fatal-error-blog

[harringrovetrashrat]

(We discussed this a lot in the discord, so props to the gang for this.  A group effort, it was.  Here are my musings about that Hocus Pocus AU.  Tagging @ihni and @pondermoniums just uh,,, cuz y’all were interested in this kinda thing 👀)

So obviously Billy is Max and Max is Dani (lol).  Like, obviously.

And they’ve moved and Billy is just over it because this town is boring, these people are boring, and who takes Halloween this seriously anymore besides fucking nerds and kids?  A whole town being into it?  Like, what fucking even.

And witches???  Really???  Fucking please.  Billy knows there’s no such thing.  Knows that these people are just whirled up in some sort of town wide fantasy.  And he definitely says as much.  Gets in trouble for it, too.  But, it does get someone to notice him.

The only thing Billy’s even remotely enjoyed in this town is Steve Harrington.  Rich prep boy with really soft looking hair and big eyes that Billy just wants to stare into for ages and long fingers and that pale skin.  Steve is snickering as Billy gets his talking to, rolling his eyes with a smile when Billy shoots him a wink.

Billy leaves on Halloween ready to hole up at home and ignore everyone and everything, especially his annoying brat of a sister.  Of course, on the way home, he runs into Tommy and Adam.  (Tommy is ICE, I don’t make the rules.)  And they’re all Hey, California, nice jacket/earring/etc.  Billy barely entertains it, considers popping Tommy in the jaw, but instead he just skates home.  Goes up to his room and flops onto the bed.

“Steve,” he murmurs.  “Steve Harrington with the delicious peach.” Billy sighs, dragging his hands over his face.  “And what a peach…”

“Boo!” Max jumps outta his closet and Billy jack knifes on the bed before jerking up, red faced.

“MAX!  I told you not to come in my fucking room!”

“Yeah, whatever.  Mom said you have to take me trick or treating.” Billy scoffs.

“No fucking way.”

“She’s going to a party hosted by the mayor--”

“Don’t care--”

“--And she doesn’t want me to go alone, even though I could--”

“Still don’t care--”

“--And I need someone to carry my haul--”

“How is this my problem?” And Max snaps her mouth shut, glaring, before opening her mouth and,

“MOM!”

(Susan moved Billy and Max here to get away from Neil and that’s that on that mmkay)

Needless to say, Billy has a hoodie under his jacket with the hood pulled up because he cannot be seen carting his sister around to trick or treat.  How lame.  Gets shit from Tommy and Adam, who try to steal Max’s candy, but get a broom to the crotch.  Max ain’t playing around, and while she doesn’t need Billy to protect her, he kinda can’t help it.  Pops one of ‘em in the eye and bolts, Max cackling as she follows him.  And they keep on going, Billy’s hood down now at least, before getting to this massive house with a party.  And Max knocks and Billy stands behind her, staring off, when suddenly,

“Well, if it isn’t Mr. I-Hate-Halloween.” And Billy’s head whips around and Steve is there in some fancy ass Victorian garb all ruffles and coiffed hair and tight fucking breeches--

“Harrington, right?” Cuz Billy’s gotta play it casual.  Gotta be cool.  And Max raises a brow, smirking, as Steve hands her a lollipop and stands there, biting his lip before asking,

“Wanna come in for a bit?  This party is fucking boring.” And Billy isn’t gonna look a gift horse in the mouth.  Max frowns.

“But--”

“I’ll let you take as much candy as you want,” Steve offers, face only lightly flushed.  Max shoots in the house, grabbing fistfuls from the frankly enormous bowl of candy.  Billy steps in, hands in his pockets.  He looks around giving a low whistle.

“Well well, Harrington,” Billy says.  “Fancy ass home you’ve got here.”

“I mean-- It’s my parents’ place.  Technically.” Steve scratches his nose and Max comes over.  “That’s a pretty dope witch costume.”

“Thanks,” she replies.  “I like yours.  Billy likes, now wait,” she hums, licking the lollipop, “What did you call it?  His peach?” And Billy goes red, hissing,

“Maxine!” Whilst Steve is confused as hell.  Max presses on.

“Billy really likes--”

“So, you all really believe in the Sanderson sisters?” Billy says, loud and over Max, who kicks him in the shin while he shoves at her to move away.  Steve just kinda… goes with the flow of these two.

“I mean, yeah.  I’ve been to the museum loads of times, and that book of spells is legitimately the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen.” Steve shuffles a little, glances into the ballroom, before seemingly making up his mind.  “You wanna go?” Billy raises a brow.

“You thinking about breaking in, pretty boy?” His tongue pokes from between his teeth as he grins, ignoring Max rolling her eyes.

“Is it breaking in if I have a key?” Steve smirks.  “My parents technically own it, so…” He shrugs and Billy smiles so he doesn’t do something stupid like say something mushy in front of Max.

“Well, grab that key then, Richie Rich.” And Steve grumbles it’s my parents’ money, jeez before going upstairs.

“I’ll be back in a jiffy.” And once he disappears Max elbows Billy in the gut.

“What the hell, shithead?” Billy hisses.

“You’re so fucking obvious,” she says with a grin.  “Pretty boy?  Like, come on.” And Billy ignores her, thank you.

So they go, and Billy and Steve are flirting almost obnoxiously, and Max is so over it, but when they get to the house, they all kinda feel the weird energy.  Billy of course, keeps trying to play it off.  Keeps being a little shit.  Asks if he should light the candle.

“Come on,” he leers.  “Not like anything’ll happen.”

“I dunno,” Steve replies, biting his lip.

“You’re so gonna summon them, Billy.  You’re a virgin.” And wow Max, no need to call him out like that.  And Billy goes red before flicking open his zippo and lighting the candle.

Which.  Bad idea.

(Now, you can imagine the sisters the same, or as Joyce (Winnie), Karen (Sarah), and Claudia (Mary).  Which ever speaks the most to you.  Cuz then Zombie Billy could be Hopper.  Or Bob if you want I suppose.  I’m going with keeping them the same for now cuz I’m a lazy bastard.

Thackery and Emily are Jonathan and Will, I don’t make the rules.)

ANYWAY

The rest pretty much goes the same, with a lot more teasing between Steve and Billy.  And Max being so over these boys.  Jonathan is too, honestly, and he’s constantly swiping at Billy to get him to stop being an asshole.  Steve thinks it’s cute.  Billy does not.

No one listens to Billy cuz, well, he looks like a delinquent whose gonna make jokes.  Steve’s parents ignore him, and everyone knows it, so obviously he’s probably doing it for attention.  And well, Susan is having fun getting to know a lovely and kind man at the party (maybe this is Bob), so she’s just a lil’ distracted.

When they get to the graveyard, and Sarah tries to flirt with Billy, tries to coerce him into giving them his life force, Steve chucks some rocks, furious and jealous, like the brat he is.  Says,

“You’re barking up the wrong tree, Witch Bitch!” And Billy’s already infatuated, but now he’s in love.  Steve’s got that spark, that fire, and Billy kinda maybe likes a guy who can hold his own.  Billy deals with Winnie, Steve and Max deal with the other two.

At the end, once Zombie Billy’s back in his grave, the witches are gone, kaput, and Jonathan has reunited with will, Steve, Billy, and Max find themselves on a bench, exhausted.  And Max maybe says,

“I’m ready to go home.  Steve, wanna come for breakfast?” And well, it’s not like his parents are gonna be up anytime soon, or will notice him being gone at all, so he says yes.  “Awesome.  Billy makes really good pancakes.  Plus, even though we don’t have a guest room, I’m sure Billy will let you take his bed.”

“Maxine!”

Or well,,,, something like that.

[crusherthedoctor]

Why Jim Carrey’s Robotnik is The Fuckin’ Man™

Yep, the movie is still on my mind, and I'd say I love it even more with each passing day. Partly because it came as much relief during a time when IDW Sonic is continuing to aggravate me with nearly everything it does with its story and characters, but mostly because I just really enjoy it on its own merits (and unlike some people, I don't need to add “it's no masterpiece...” to every sentence as if I'm secretly ashamed about liking a Sonic the Hedgehog film). While the movie's portrayal of our old mate Robotnik is far from the only reason for why I love the film, he's obviously a huge factor all the same, so I felt like listing a few reasons for why - already - he's one of my favourite incarnations of the doctor yet.

A lot of it can be boiled down to how accurate he is to Eggman's character despite the face value differences, but to elaborate that little bit more:

- He's every bit as physical as Eggman is in the games. It would have been easy for Robotnik to be reduced to a Non-Action Big Bad in a live action role, given how often that tends to happen with similar villains in similar live action installments of similar franchises... But instead, Robotnik actually lives up to his character's habits and takes a very active role in his pursuits, culminating with him facing the hedgehog personally, and putting up a good fight in the process. Compare this to the supposedly more threatening SatAM Robotnik, who spent most of his time twiddling his thumbs and letting Snively do all the work.

- Also like game Eggman, he's stronger than he looks, and he's equally capable of handling himself in a fight. A much larger guy who Sonic had notable trouble with is thrown out a window like it's nothing by Robotnik, and despite getting caught off guard by Tom's attack from behind, he was quick to turn the tables enough for their brief fistfight to be considered a stalemate. And let's not get into whatever it was he apparently did to that school bully...

- While he's every bit the glorious ham you'd expect him to be, his witty remarks can be downright morbid at times. The first thing he does when he sees Sonic's seemingly dead body? Make a crack about PETA animal testing. Absolute legend.

- Not only is he funny and menacing in equal measures, but both sides of his personality seem to be working at the same time in a lot of his scenes, going from one to the other then back again in a matter of seconds. This makes him come off as unpredictable, which definitely adds to the tension involving him.

- The government is clearly terrified of him, treating the mere idea of hiring his services for the blackout investigation as though he's a Horseman of the Apocalypse, and being incredibly quick to give his existence the '06 retcon treatment when it looks like he's gone for good (spoiler: he won't be forgotten for long). But at the same time, they bring him in specifically because they know that he's the only one with the genius to handle the apparent threat that Sonic poses, and their own talk of him having helped out with numerous foreign coups in the past - probably single-handedly at that - is yet more proof that his credentials are no joke. If G.U.N. exists in this universe, they're basically admitting that they ain't shit compared to this one man.

- Despite technically acting on the government's behalf during the events of this film, Robotnik treats the affair in the same way that Blofeld treats his affiliation with Red China: Namely, it's a very transparent means to an end that will ultimately benefit himself more than them, and it's clear at all times that not only is he the one holding the reins, but that they're perfectly aware of this and are simply unable to do anything about it. Considering this is, again, the government we're talking about, that makes it abundantly clear before we even meet him in person that this guy isn't your typical basement dwelling mad scientist whose ambitions far outweigh their capabilities.

- In a Sonic the Hedgehog movie production starring Ivo Robotnik, played to perfection by Jim Carrey, the meme potential is too vast to quantify.

- His drones are essentially Matryoshka dolls of destruction, and they have the tricks and the persistence you'd expect to be saddled with that implication. They highlight the doctor's own determination in catching the hedgehog, and they also confirm his surprisingly keen sense of foresight in dealing with opposition. If only he leant some of that foresight to IDW Eggman...

- His big black truck is actually really badass for an “evil lair”, as the man himself labels it. It's equipped with the aforementioned super persistent drones, it comes with a hangar bay for his sizable hovercraft (which, by the way, just so happens to have an Egg Mobile colour scheme), he can experiment in his lab while he's on the move, and he even has wacky virtual simulators to play around with on the side... and the means to make a latte apparently. It may not have the scale of a Death Egg space station or an Eggmanland theme park, but considering this is an up-and-coming Eggman of sorts, it's a very interesting and impressive choice for the doctor's first humble abode, as it shows that even when he's just starting off, he's already thinking in a different (and cooler) wavelength than most.

- It didn't take him long at all to successfully harness the power of Sonic's quill in a manageable form, meaning he understood how Sonic's speed worked and was able to use it against the hedgehog himself in a relatively small amount of time. If Metal Sonic is ever introduced, he's likely going to be a juggernaut on par with his OVA portrayal.

- Yet another trait he shares with game Eggman: he does not cower. Sure, he might get startled by seeing Sonic for the first time, or accidentally getting creeped up on by Agent Stone, but in terms of legitimate fear, he has none to show for it. Sonic, who he thought was banished to the Shadow Realm killed, suddenly revives himself and takes back his quill by force, all the while throwing one hell of a death glare his way as he becomes supercharged with electricity. How does Robotnik react to this? By putting on his own game face (and his goggles) and staring him down for a final standoff. The idea of running away or pleading for mercy doesn't even appear to register in the doctor's mind.

- Even after going mad upon being stranded on the Mushroom Planet, he remains as determined as ever to reach his goals, and while he may have nothing else on him for the time being other than Sonic's quill, we know for a fact that his return is inevitable, and he'll be hitting twice as hard no matter what he decides to use. His final transformation into a more recognizable Eggman may be born out of isolation and insanity, but despite the circumstance, it's more strangely triumphant rather than tragic or pathetic. He even notes that lesser men would be hopeless in his predicament, and presumably that includes lesser villains as well.

- This face.

I want that face on a T-shirt.

Overall, despite the expected and at times necessary differences for a live action portrayal, Robotnik hasn't actually been watered down in terms of character OR threat level. He's already dangerous enough to risk the safety of the entire planet, and if the stinger is any indication, he's only getting started.

And you know what else? While it's obviously delightful that his resemblance shifts to being more Eggman-like by the end of the film (and the full moustache actually doesn't look too bad on Carrey's face), I don't think I would have minded that much if his appearance remained the same in a sequel, because the core of his portrayal was so perfect and quintessentially Eggman that the differences didn't even click after a while, even as I kept looking at them point blank.

That's how you know the guy did well. Although it probably also helps that his non-Eggman look is considerably more dignified and cool than SatAM Robotnik falling into a vat of concentrated 90's.

[crystalelemental]

Since @patchun brought up Hugh as a rival, here’s my personal take on each rival character in Pokemon, because I’m bored.

Blue - I actually do like the guy, and I think that overall he’s a solid rival.  Story-wise, he’s one of the few that is always one step ahead of you, and clears the entire league before you.  His team is solid, and he makes adjustments based on the starter Pokemon he picks.  I also think he’s just kinda fun.  He’ll make excuses about why he lost (”I picked the wrong Pokemon!”) and gives you shit as someone he considered less than him, but there’s still some level at which he’s like “Oh hey, you’re improving!”  He’s a solid rival character.

Silver - I kinda feel like Silver isn’t really your rival, he’s just someone that shows up a lot that you have to deal with.  Like it’s never entirely established that the two of you are competing, he just wants to kick your ass for funsies in all his earlier encounters, and only comes to respect you at all at the end of his entire quest.  Which is cool!  I actually like Silver a lot, I think he’s got a ton going on and is a pretty unique change from Blue.  Blue was super invested in the League and being the best, while Silver’s also about being the best, but seems to have little interest in the League itself.  His motives are outside of the League, and frankly outside of your own.  He grows into the role of rival to the player more as a result of Lance’s comments to him and his own soul-searching.  I think that’s great.

Brendan/May - And then there’s these two.  I’m not entirely sure what the plan was behind these two.  I’ve heard they shifted off of the antagonistic rivals because bullying was a problem, and that’s why every rival since has been your friend rather than an opponent, but these two aren’t even that really.  They barely exist.  As characters, they rarely show up and don’t really do a whole lot at any point, and as a rival trainer, they’re so bad they never fully evolve their starter.  Brendan and May are, to me at least, the worst rivals in the series.  If it was because they thought early rivals were too mean and toned it down, they did so without accounting for any alternative traits to make them interesting, but at least they started getting it right soon after.

Barry - I actually really like Barry.  Initially, he was a bit annoying with the whole “I’m fining you!” gimmick, and being supremely absent-minded half the time, but he grows on you a lot.  Kinda like Blue, Barry spends most of the game ahead of you, and is a pretty competent trainer.  But instead of being aggressive in his rivalry, he is your friend and acknowledges how good you are.  He never seems to even acknowledge his defeat to any extreme degree, he’s just having fun and doing his own journey while using you as a point of comparison, while still taking this really seriously, in part because his father is a renowned trainer that he wants to live up to.  Which is solid.  Also I gotta admit, the situation with the lake guardians was really cute, how Rowan recognizes him and gives him the tougher mission, how into it he gets, and then how hurt he is that he wasn’t able to protect Uxie.  Barry just a sweet kid and a solid rival.

Cheren - Cheren is much like Barry, in that his focus is on battling at its core.  Contrary to Barry though, Cheren is actively irritated that he can’t seem to beat you.  He keeps pace with you, but I don’t think actually gets ahead of you at any point in the story.  If anything, he’s interesting because he’s someone driven by the same journey to be a great trainer that you are, but is coming face to face with the realization that he’s not making the same gains, and may not be able to achieve that initial dream.  He has to adapt, and ultimately settles into the Gym Leader role, and is a bit of a mentor in BW2, which is really cool.  That’s really what makes the BW rivals so good, is that instead of just being another super good trainer who’s ahead of you all the time, they explore the idea of someone who wants to be the best but isn’t, and how he handles that.  I like it a lot.

Bianca - Best rival, fight me.  What makes Bianca interesting is that she’s kinda like Brendan and May, in that she’s not...really here to be a spectacular trainer.  She is but she isn’t.  She starts out on her journey to become a trainer, but isn’t super motivated by competition like Cheren.  In fact, Bianca doesn’t really know what she wants to do at all.  What makes her interesting is that change from being just another trainer to battle, to finding her own path in life that doesn’t involve the competition.  It’s not what she wants to do, and I always really liked that.  She eventually settles on being a professor’s assistant, and I think it’s great seeing her settle into a role that makes her happy.  The series has always posited this idea that people exist with Pokemon in different ways, but this is honestly the first time we really get a rival who comes to engage with Pokemon and battling in a different way from the usual.

Hugh - I don’t like Hugh.  I get the attempt with him, and appreciate it.  A lot of Gen 5 centers around Team Plasma, and in this case, Hugh is a character who was directly impacted by their actions when they stole his sister’s Purrloin.  He was a child and couldn’t do anything, so he’s grown up resentful of Team Plasma and determined to become strong enough to protect his sister and those he cares about.  He’s along on your journey to improve, but never once does he seem all that invested in the League itself.  He’s more invested in taking down Team Plasma and getting his sister’s Purrloin back, and all of that should come together into a really cool rival for this generation’s thematic narrative.  His problem is really just that he talks.  “You’re about to feel my rage!”  Hugh, please.  You’re embarrassing me in front of Zinzolin.  I can’t say I hate Hugh, but I feel like he’s a character who just missed the mark they were aiming for, largely by being more of an edgy nuisance than an interesting character study.

Serena/Calem - I am only talking about these two because fuck the XY friend group.  Honestly, they’re...pretty forgettable.  Like I honestly can’t remember any significant personality traits from them at all.  They’re like Brendan and May, only slightly better because they keep at it even if they’re constantly behind you.  I think by biggest problem is how they never feel like they amount to much thematically.  A big focus in XY is meant to be on scarcity.  Mega Bracelts are rare, and not everyone can own one or utilize mega evolution.  You battle them to get one, which by default means they don’t.  And that sets up some interesting ideas, right?  Like, how does that impact things?  When there’s legitimate scarcity and not everyone can make use of this, are you willing to crush the dream of your childhood friend to make your own come true?  Well actually it doesn’t matter because it’s never really brought up.  The great tragedy of XY was lost potential, and the rival’s a big source of that.

Hau - Hau is...a mixed bag for me.  On the one hand, SuMo.  On the other, USUM.  In SuMo, I like Hau a lot.  He feels a lot like Barry, if Barry didn’t give a shit about competition.  Hau is very laid back as a rival, and challenges you while attempting to keep pace, but ultimately exists to have fun and enjoy his journey.  This is the trait that makes him and Gladion such fun counterparts.  But then USUM rolls around, and makes up this whole subplot about how he’s not actually trying and that this is a betrayal of his Pokemon?  And then it leads to this whole crisis where suddenly he’s super invested in competition and being the best, and ends up as your Champion battle?  And it just doesn’t feel as interesting.  If anything it feels like USUM’s eternal Gen 1 dick sucking coming back to reference your rival as the champion, rather than actually focusing on the character’s development.

Gladion - Okay, I really like Gladion.  He’s a bit more like Silver than anything else, in that I don’t think he ever like...expresses wanting to be your rival?  He just shows up and challenges you because fuck you in particular.  But through interactions, and your eventual assistance with stopping his mother and breaking down those emotional walls, Gladion grows into someone who still wants to be a great trainer, but is no longer driven by the need to be the best to protect his sister and stop his mother.  Rather, he just learns to enjoy competition for its own sake.  And I really like that!  I feel like he’s Silver, but refined to be a more interesting character.

Hop - Okay stop me if you’ve heard this one.  Hop’s a rival who’s invested in the competition, and is largely driven by living up to a family member’s legacy.  He’s generally friendly, but expresses intense dissatisfaction with his performance because he can’t beat you or Bede.  He’s been competitive, but ultimately very laid back until a sudden realization that he needs to try harder and is suddenly super driven to become the best.  His post-game arc is entirely about finding out that maybe he doesn’t want to be a trainer all that much, and finding his own calling, which is a professor’s assistant.  That’s Barry, Cheren, Hau, and Bianca, in that order.  I do not love Hop.  I don’t hate him.  There are definitely worse rivals with less going on.  But Hop feels like an amalgamation of previous rivals rather than his own being.  He goes from laid-back but invested in your rivalry, to super serious and determined to be the best, and ending on maybe not even wanting to be a trainer that much.  It’s a weird shift in his journey that I don’t think meshes as well.  He takes the parts of these previous rivals that made them interesting, but it turns out slapping them all together makes a character that’s less than the sum of its parts.  However, I will give points for one thing I actually love about Hop: when he keeps losing, he completely changes up his team.  That’s something no rival has done.  Minor adjustments, like Blue dropping Raticate, have happened, but we’ve never seen a complete shuffle in who they lead with or what the team composition is.  So I do think there’s merit to Hop, even if he’s not my favorite.  It could be worse.  It could be...

Marnie - A literal nothing.  She does announce that you are her rival, so I guess I have to talk about her.  She’s nothing.  Like, I kinda have to give more points to her than Brandan/May solely because she does at least try, but she never really has anything going for her.  Her brother is more compelling than she is, being a gym leader in charge of an area that is really struggling, and trying to showcase that Dynamaxing isn’t required to be a good trainer.  Marnie...has none of that.  At all.  She just has the freedom to be a challenger for the Champion title, and the town is insistent on her winning to prove...something.  I honestly do not understand the plan.  It wouldn’t change that their territory has no ability to Dynamax, and unlike Piers, Marnie has no qualms about using Dynamax to win.  She has no real convictions, and if memory serves only battles you twice.  And she’s not exactly that good either time.  I never once felt like Marnie mattered.  People just liked her design and decided she was great, but she...she doesn’t do anything.

Bede - I’m hesitant to count Bede, but you battle him more often than you battle Marnie, and he does eventually consider you an obstacle to overcome so I’ll count him.  Honestly, don’t like him that much, but he’s better than nothing.  Bede’s interesting in that he’s kind of a rival that’s ahead of you?  At least implicitly.  I don’t think we get hard confirmation that he’s beaten any of the challenges before you, but a lot of his battles involve him being in a location before you got there.  I do kinda like his arc, in that he’s a bit of an inverted Cheren?  In the sense that his ultimate endpoint is as a Gym Leader, but not because he’s looking at things in terms of adjusting his goal due to always losing, but adjusting his goal because it turns out that’s just really what he wants to do.  At first he hates it, and his final challenge to you is a means of saying he’ll quit forever if he can’t win, but ultimately he settles into an appreciation for being a Gym Leader, and I really like that.  While I dislike him more on a personal level, I will say I think he’s a better rival than Hop.  Has more going on for himself, anyway.

[sepublic]

Musical Car!

           What’s interesting is that the musical has a sign advertising Jesse’s name; Did he stop by the Musical Car at some point and inspire the denizens there with a speech about empathy, and how differences are okay? We know that had to have taken place prior to him, Lake, and Alan Dracula entering the Carnival Car, meeting The Cat, etc. Either way, I’m not at all surprised that someone as open and friendly as him would say such things, especially with an unconventional friend like Lake; And obviously he stuck by his words in the end, didn’t he?

           Lemme tell you though… I was legit disturbed by that raid, as well as seeing those poor denizens get legitimately hurt and injured for no reason at all, and that ONE decapitated dude almost getting wheeled, only to be converted into Simon’s thing; Like, screw you Apex. That’s what makes Simon and Grace interesting; I’ve always imagined the concept of more problematic protagonists for this series, so it’s not much of a surprise to see Book 3 dive into this! Given how much more, well… WORSE Simon and Grace are, pehaps it’s not all-too surprise that their arc was confined to HBO Max, given the even more mature tone set by them and their actions!

           Honestly, those two rapidly switch and range from terrible, nasty jerks I want to punch, to misfits with banter and chemistry, and plenty of comradery; Especially for people they DO care about! It really drives the point home that not every bad person is PURE evil, like they don’t spend every waking moment plotting how terrible they can be, and most don’t even consider themselves as bad! It’s disconcerting, but a good look into their mindset; With Grace genuinely trying to be nice and caring to the kids and not hurting their feelings, but also repeating Amelia’s lies about the train denizens being there for the passengers’ benefit, and… More on that later.

           Also- Glad to see Grace make fun of Simon’s fashion sense and acknowledge it, but at the same time… Either he was ten when he began to wear socks with sandals, AND/OR he was ten when he first met Grace; Presumably on the Infinity Train, although the idea of two individuals knowing one another PRIOR to boarding it is also fascinating! Especially given how Book 2 discussed the idea of fate and pre-determination in one’s paths and all…

           It’s interesting to see that not all Apex kids are against the denizens, like some DO want to make friends with them (albeit in a very invasive manner), but Grace and Simon just shut them down. I have to wonder if they themselves also had a similar moment with Amelia, only to be brutally shut down; And Amelia is objectively worse than those two considering how much higher her number is, and how SHE was the one who started this dumb ideology in the first place (instead of just being taught it at a vulnerable moment in her life like everybody else)!

           What’s worth noting is that Simon has a device that can detect the presence of other passengers, which is both VERY cool and VERY useful; I have to wonder if it’ll detect Hazel in the Jungle Car however. Given the speculation of her being a train denizen, it’d serve as neat, subtle foreshadowing as to her true nature, and I can see the show touching upon this! Also, the aesthetics of that device reminds me of what The Cat would own; Given how she’ll make a return this Book and has had a run-in with at least Grace in the past, I can easily see it being something she’d own. She IS a collector of useful things, after all… And I have to wonder if maybe The Cat was even a companion of Simon or Grace; Or maybe even Amelia! Perhaps the Passenger-Detector was a ‘gift’ from Amelia…

           (I mean, they HAVE to bring her back in Book 3, given how her ideology and actions are a direct consequence of everything that happens, and would fit nicely into her eventual redemption arc. Not to mention it’d give a fascinating insight as to what was going on in her mind when she indoctrinated the Apex.)

           Neat detail seeing the Unfinished Car with those corgi diplomats, and nice joke with that one turtle talking to what’s later revealed to be a phone with a line that’s already cut anyway! Grace breaking her Harpoon Pack makes sense; She wasn’t seen with one in the trailer and posters, and I guess it’d help ‘balance’ things if only one protagonist had a Harpoon Pack; So they can’t just skip over cars on their way back!

           Speaking of a way back; We have a set number of cars leading back to the Mall Car, so in other words we have a way of keeping track of the journey’s progress! It IS worth noting that the cars could always rearrange… It’s interesting to learn that cars apparently don’t move when passengers are inside; I always assumed that sometimes they might’ve and a passenger wouldn’t notice because all the cars look identical from the outside, and also being inside a pocket-dimension kind of skews around with the sensation of what’s going on outside. It’s possible that Simon and Grace actually felt the movement because of the Unfinished Car’s unusual nature…

           Regardless, after that disturbing opening scene it makes sense that One-One is stepping in! Given how he values the passengers more than the denizens (as seen with his second and final interaction with Lake), it makes me wonder how much he actually CARES; Or if he can’t afford to have people ‘breaking equipment’, and/or is mostly doing this to lean the Apex towards becoming better people by confronting them over their actions! At this point, they may end up pushing One-One too much and he’ll have to send in his Steward…

           Getting onto some existential crisis, the cruel thing about Simon and Grace saying that the denizens are made for them is… They’re actually kind of right? NOT that this justifies at all their wanton, senseless cruelty towards the train denizens… But it ties back to Lake’s existential crisis in Book 2, the realization and likelihood that she (and maybe even the Mirror World) was made purely for the character development of people like Tulip and Jesse! One-One himself outright says in the Book 2 Finale that, YEAH; Train Denizens are supposed to stay on the train because their entire purpose, their entire means of creation was just to fulfill what the passengers need!

           …Obviously, using them for raids ISN’T what One-One (and/or whoever made the Infinity Train/the Infinity Train itself) intended… But the disturbing realization still stands that the denizens’ purpose and creation in life is for the betterment of passengers, to accompany them, aid them… In the past, I’ve speculated how some Cars and their inhabitants don’t seem to have much of a personality beyond being a basic caricature to fulfill the ‘theme’ of a car, as well as aiding in passengers’ journeys! And obviously they’re all PEOPLE, but again this ties back into just how real the pasts and worlds of denizens were, as discussed by Mace; The idea that entire histories and cultures have been fabricated, and pre-programmed into the memories of denizens.

           Needless to say, it’s very disturbing… And if Simon and Grace ever change their stance on denizens and even start vouching for them, it’d be a brilliant reversal of their beginning attitudes to have them call out One-One for making sapient people for the sole purpose of serving others; Which could be a dilemma for him given how HE may have been made for the purpose of others! Given how Amelia taught the Apex her ideals, and she was Conductor for a time and thus had rather intimate knowledge of the Infinity Train… perhaps what she says about the denizens being just ‘toys’, made for the passengers, isn’t too far a stretch from the truth; Obviously a dark, twisted, and selfish distortion. But it’s emblematic, reflecting a deeper, underlying issue that could lie with the Infinity Train itself.

           (Especially since Owen Dennis said that One-One and the Infinity Train can be wrong…)

           Given how Amelia made cars with denizens that only ‘turned on’ once a car was considered ‘complete’ (or close to it), it suggests that she knows all about the artificial, pre-programmed nature of denizens because she’s made a few ones; Which when coupled with how she probably tried to make a Fake Alrick, and ultimately realized that a replica would never be the same… Eerily, it lends to the idea that part of what made Amelia realize this at the end of Book 1, was her mindset that denizens are just follow, fake copies of pre-existing things and aren’t even real to begin with.

           THAT is a cruel twist; That the very ideas that founded the Apex and caused our issues in Book 3, were low-key what helped Amelia wake up from her fantasy and realize that she needed to confront her issues! Given how high her number is, it only makes sense that while she’s making progress, she STILL has some more fundamental problems to tackle; Specifically the idea that while denizens aren’t the same or ‘real’ as the original, they’re still people and whatnot!

           All in all, a VERY fascinating watch! Just eleven minutes, but I’m hooked in; Sure this does tie a lot back to previously-established concepts, but what story-driven show doesn’t? It really recontextualizes and makes you think back about what WAS discussed already and how it changes with the more we learn and explore!

[twilightknight17]

We’re at the end of the road, folks.

And god damn, I feel so validated by my Sojiro characterization. Wow. Thanks for basically making me canon for ten more seconds, Atlus. XDDD

So when last we left our intrepid heroes, they were laying at the bottom of the Jail of the Abyss, because Ichinose is an asshole. So we had to fight our way back up, carrying Sophia’s unconscious body. Which wasn’t that bad; the Jail isn’t very big. We left Sophia at the door to keep her safe, and then charged back into the hall of the Ark to hack Ichinose’s exploding crystal box thing.

Ichinose doesn’t understand why we came back.

So, yeah. I guess like... bizarro-world Maruki? Maruki wanted to alleviate suffering by granting everyone’s wishes. EMMA’s going to make it so that people can’t wish for anything.

After a kick-ass hacking battle set to the new version of Rivers in the Desert, Ichinose yells at us about our right to judge. Why should humanity keep this painful world, just because WE’RE strong? Just because we’ve never screwed up or suffered?

Which, clearly she has no idea who the fuck she’s talking to.

We’ve worked too hard to listen to that kind of bullshit.

Ichinose proclaims that “humans don’t need hearts” and charges up the laser crystal to blast us again, and Sophia steps in to block the attack. She’s still fighting Ichinose’s control even though Ichinose insists that she’s just a faulty prototype.

Apparently Ichinose created Sophia in the first place because she spent a lifetime being called a heartless doll, so she made an AI to help her learn about the heart.

I think you’re the problem, but not for the reasons everyone else is saying.

But she got angry when Sophia started asking questions of her own and basically tossed her aside, until EMMA found her and dropped her into the Shibuya Jail.

And Sophia, unlike her creator, has learned and grown, and is tired of being given orders. She’s ready to make her own choices.

That is certainly a persona.

I gotta admit, they got me. I was wondering why Sophia didn’t have her arcana yet, but for some reason, I also wasn’t expecting her to get a proper persona. I’m now wondering about the implications of someone being able to code an AI capable of developing a soul that can summon a persona. There’s a zero percent chance that Ichinose had any access to plumes of dusk, which are the reason that Aigis and Labrys gained enough consciousness to have personas. So Sophia is legitimately a miracle piece of technology.

Pandora is an interesting choice, but I dunno if I can articulate that beyond a surface-level, “Oh, because she’s Hope, and Hope was still in the box.”

I swear to god, every major villain in this game is trying to be Goro Akechi. For the last goddamn time, we don’t kill people. Get up, Ichinose. We’re leaving.

Ryuji literally grabs her by the arm and drags her out, because she’s trying to stay behind. Which just confirms for me that if Goro hadn’t put up that bulkhead door, we’d have dragged his stupid ass out of the Ship, too. XD

Back to the real world, and Tokyo is blacking out, and the Tower is losing its shit.

The metaverse is fusing with reality, the Tower is becoming the Tree of Knowledge, and hell yes we are climbing this tower after all!

Morgana points out that this is the same thing that happened last year, and Zenkichi freaks out a little bit.

You’re lucky you moved to Kyoto, sir. You missed quite a bit.

I love these kids, though. They’ve got so much black humor about this whole god thing.

The metaverse encroaching on reality means that everyone has to cram into the bus in their thief gear. Zenkichi, please. Your hat. Sir.

I love climbing this tower. I’ve been here, too! Also they have butter. XD

I was expecting the Mementos version of the lower observation deck, and instead I got some weird amalgam between Mementos and Azathoth’s boss chamber.

We had to fight Metatron as the guardian of the last elevator, which is another parallel to Yaldabaoth’s archangels. And then it’s up to what I guess used to be the high observation deck to fight the big box.

EMMA insists that all humanity wants is to let it give them all the answers, and it throws them into some sort of alternate fog world full of the voices of the public.

The Thieves are all separated, trapped in the fog. Each of them has to find their way out, and they realize that the fog of the Desires is protecting EMMA. EMMA knows exactly how calling cards work, so they won’t work on her. Instead, the Thieves decide that they need to send the calling card to the public, so that they’ll become aware of their desires again and the desires will crystalize.

...oh come on, Atlus. We’re right in the endgame.

One last hacker battle to break into EMMA’s server room in the tower, and Futaba and Ichinose manage to hack EMMA itself to deliver a calling card to everyone at once.

Love you, Zenkichi. We’ve taken out two gods already. We’re good.

Confronting the Ark again reveals a bunch of freaky tentacle arms grabbing the desires, and then the box turns into some sort of massive figure that looks sort of like Yaldabaoth, except less robot and more seraphim. It literally names itself the Demiurge, so I feel like EMMA may be drawing something from the lingering dregs of Yald’s influence? It’s cool.

Clearly no one told you what happened to the last false god that thought it knew what was best for humanity. ;) “Hope binds humanity to misery” is bullshit.

After a... not very difficult first phase, the Demiurge reveals its true form, and we split into three teams to take out its support orbs (modeled after the sephirot) and the main body.

I really liked the setup for the last boss. The teams were the first instance where it was really apparent that the whole team was fighting together. Each of the three battles was happening concurrently, and destroying the orbs has a concrete effect on the main fight. I wish we’d gotten to do things like this more often, especially during the Shadow Thieves fight.

That said, the main body was actually the easiest part of the fight? All the attacks were really telegraphed, and not particularly hard to avoid. Except for the spear jab.

But it finished off with a full-team all-out attack, and that was awesome.

The desires began to return to their owners, and we get to bask in a job well done once again.

Upon returning to the real world, it’s the next morning. Sophia’s happy that she got to be a hero, Zenkichi’s heading off to properly arrest Owada, and the rest of us need to head home, because we were supposed to be home last night. Zenkichi can’t figure out why we consider him a phantom thief, since he “only joined [us] to use [us]”. Which is silly. The Phantom Thieves are built on the bonds of friendship and stalking! It’s too late, Zenkichi. You and Akane have been adopted.

I’m a little disappointed we didn’t get to tell Akane the truth. That would have been great.

Atlus personally reaches out and pats me on the head, because Sojiro has the absolute perfect reaction to his kids coming home after a nationwide manhunt for them.

I feel so valid making him serve Lavenza coffee and be completely nonplussed about a guy marrying Death. I love him. We’re so lucky to have Sojiro. XDDDD

The next day, the kids have a celebration party for their victory, and learn that Akira is going home the next day. This kid needs to catch a break. He can’t even have a few days to relax with his friends. X’‘‘D

Everyone goes to see off Akira, though we detour to Shibuya to meet Ichinose. A news report shows that Owada was successfully arrested, and apparently Ichinose tried to turn herself in to the police, and they didn’t believe a word of it.

This is just highlighting my issues with Maruki. Even if he doesn’t think he did anything wrong to society as a whole, he never apologizes to them for what he put them through. Especially Akira. Ichinose turns around and helps them stop the final boss, and her last scene is her apologizing to the Thieves and trying to make amends for her actions. Maruki’s last scene is... “If things get bad, you can start over like me! Now we’re even!” We are not.

Sophia leaves to help Ichinose learn about the heart, Akira promises to come back for winter break, the Phantom Thieves go their separate ways once again, and the credits roll.

I’m gonna leave my final impressions in a different post, because this one is long enough already. So... look forward to that?