#integrating joy into work
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Book Summary - "Feel Good Productivity" by Ali Abdaal
I loved this book! I’m generally a fan of Ali’s in any event. His YouTube Channel offers insightful and helpful guidance without being pushy or preachy. His book, “Feel Good Productivity” redefines the approach to productivity, advocating for FUN being part of the balance equation between efficiency and personal well-being. In the book, Abdaal proposes that true productivity comes from making…
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#adapting productivity systems#Ali Abdaal#Ali Abdaal YouTube channel#automation in daily life#barrier reduction strategies#daily productivity tips#delegation for efficiency#energy management techniques#Feel Good Productivity#happiness and productivity#improving work habits#integrating joy into work#joyful productivity#life hack tips#making chores enjoyable#managing daily tasks#maximizing personal efficiency#personal productivity improvement#productivity and well-being#productivity book#productivity experiments#productivity mindset shift#productivity without burnout#reflective practice for productivity#setting up for a productive day#sustainable productivity#task association#using natural energy cycles#Work-life balance
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⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ Zippy Zap BZZZZZT ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️
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[Cover]
#bad end au#tim drake#joker junior#working 60 hours a week and dyinggggg#hence why this page is late#but its the debut of a weapon i was DYING to give Junior#red robin-esque bo staff but integrated into a joy buzzer#electric stick goes zip zap!
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It’s a good day to be happy 🤗
#connection#union#trust#conscious communication#communication#calm#love#self love#respect#integrity#growth#commitment#share#truth#beauty#freedom#evolve#joy#inner work#flow#intention#beautiful mature#lifestyle
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"One should not wish to enjoy where one does not give joy." ― Friedrich Nietzsche
#friedrich nietzsche#nietzsche#selflessness#giving#service#care#joy#enjoy#taking#giving and taking#humanity#society#civilization#integrity#morality#sustainability#wisdom#awareness#consciousness#work#sharing#love
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Our weekends will be filled with Joy and Happiness 😘 💋
#love#romantic#mommyandme#mature mom#ontario#feelings#weekend#share#truth#conscious community#hourglass#beautiful#integrity#inner work#let’s be friends#joy#happiness
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Thought For The Day
I’ve been meaning to write this since it happened. I’m just now getting to it!. In mid October, I took my morning walk as I always do. Maybe 20 minutes in, I realized my sunglasses had fallen out of my pocket. I had a choice to retrace my steps or let it go and continue my walk. I decided to let it go and carry on with my walk. It was a big hurdle for me as usually I become obsessed with finding…
#5D#acceptance#Authentic#awareness#Blog#care#Compassion#Daily#Daily Intention#Dimensions#Emergence#Energy#Evolution#Fearless#good thoughts#greatest good#Happiness#harmony#Healing#highest purpose#imagination#Inner work#insight#Inspiration#Inspired Action#Integrated#Journal#Joy#Kindness#Life
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This is dumb but it's my favorite story of my nephew and your nephew story made me think of it: my nephew was probably 3-4 and he was jumping on a bed while I was trying to get him to nap and he WOULDNT stop so FINALLY!! I was just like 'I love you so much but sometimes you frustrate me! ' he stopped jumping on the bed tilted his head at me like a puppy and calmly asks me 'rustrated? What's rustrated'
(Also one time he broke his leg when he was also 3 and he got his cast off the first thing he says to me is to grab his leg and yell ' Auntie!GOT MY WHOLE LEG BACK!!')
Anon, those are THE cutest stories, oh my god. He got his whole leg back 😭😭😭
#i turned 33 recently and have been kind of coming to terms with the fact that i'm unlikely to have kids of my own#for a whole range of reasons#and it's been an interesting thing to think about lately because it's also made me ask myself if i WANT kids of my own#and increasingly the answer has been no#that i don't think i do#but man#i LOVE being an aunt#my nephews are 7 and 6 and they've always been a part of my life#but over the last two years while my sister's been getting divorced (still lol family court is the slowest of nightmares)#they've just like - -#become fully integrated into my life#i talk to them almost every day and they stay with me all the time when my sister's working since my work's more flexible#and it's been hard but also a joy?#we had a moment the other day too where i was just like#slammed with this sense of how much they trusted and loved me#which was a pretty special feeling#but also y'know#i really really love being able to hand them back to my sister too hahaha#rl#welcome to my ama
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North node through the degrees 🫥🫥🫥
0° North Node – The Soul’s New Beginning
• A fresh karmic cycle, stepping into unknown territory.
• Feels like they are starting from scratch in this lifetime.
• Growth through embracing change and taking bold first steps.
1° North Node – The Initiator’s Path
• Must take the lead in their own destiny.
• Learning confidence, independence, and self-trust.
• Growth through courage and embracing challenges.
2° North Node – The Self-Worth Journey
• Learning to value themselves beyond external validation.
• Must develop inner security and emotional resilience.
• Growth through recognizing their inherent worth.
3° North Node – The Communicator’s Destiny
• Life path involves self-expression, writing, speaking, or teaching.
• Learning to trust their voice and share their thoughts openly.
• Growth through intellectual exploration and connection.
4° North Node – The Emotional Healer’s Path
• Soul growth is tied to emotional intelligence and nurturing others.
• Must learn to create security from within.
• Growth through deep emotional connections and healing.
5° North Node – The Creative Leader
• Learning to embrace joy, creativity, and self-expression.
• Must step into leadership and allow themselves to shine.
• Growth through playfulness, confidence, and artistic endeavors.
6° North Node – The Service-Oriented Path
• Destined to help others and find fulfillment through service.
• Must learn discipline, organization, and responsibility.
• Growth through contributing to something greater than themselves.
7° North Node – The Relational Journey
• Soul path involves partnerships and learning cooperation.
• Must balance independence with meaningful relationships.
• Growth through compromise, harmony, and connection.
8° North Node – The Transformation Path
• Destined to face deep transformation and rebirth.
• Must release attachments to material things and control.
• Growth through embracing life’s cycles and trusting the unknown.
9° North Node – The Visionary’s Path
• Learning to trust their intuition and higher purpose.
• Must explore different belief systems and expand their worldview.
• Growth through travel, philosophy, and broadening perspectives.
10° North Node – The Authority Figure
• Life path involves stepping into leadership and responsibility.
• Must learn discipline and perseverance to reach their goals.
• Growth through ambition, mastery, and public influence.
11° North Node – The Innovator’s Journey
• Learning to embrace uniqueness and think outside the box.
• Must break free from societal norms and follow their own vision.
• Growth through humanitarianism, technology, and radical change.
12° North Node – The Spiritual Awakening
• Soul growth is tied to spiritual surrender and faith.
• Must release control and trust the flow of the universe.
• Growth through introspection, solitude, and divine connection.
13° North Node – The Voice of Truth
• Learning to speak up and share their wisdom.
• Must develop confidence in their ideas and beliefs.
• Growth through authentic self-expression and teaching.
14° North Node – The Perfectionist’s Path
• Destined to learn balance between control and surrender.
• Must release perfectionism and embrace life’s imperfections.
• Growth through patience, adaptability, and trusting the process.
15° North Node – The Embodied Leader
• Must integrate mind, body, and soul for true success.
• Learning to embrace responsibility while staying grounded.
• Growth through mastering their physical, emotional, and mental energy.
16° North Node – The Healer of Generations
• Connected to family karma and ancestral healing.
• Must break generational cycles and forge a new path.
• Growth through deep healing work and self-awareness.
17° North Node – The Destiny Finder
• Feels a strong pull toward their life purpose.
• Must learn to trust their intuition and step into their calling.
• Growth through following their soul’s desires without fear.
18° North Node – The Responsible Soul
• Learning how to balance personal desires with duty.
• Must set healthy boundaries and take charge of their life.
• Growth through accountability, maturity, and integrity.
19° North Node – The Humanitarian Leader
• Destined to make an impact on society.
• Must overcome fears of standing out and take action.
• Growth through service, activism, and uplifting others.
20° North Node – The Truth Seeker
• Must discern truth from illusion in life.
• Learning to trust their own perception over outside influence.
• Growth through honesty, inner wisdom, and critical thinking.
21° North Node – The Soulful Giver
• Must learn to give without losing themselves.
• Balancing selflessness with self-care is key.
• Growth through healthy emotional exchanges and compassion.
22° North Node – The Karmic Pathway
• Feels destined for something greater but must overcome fear.
• Must work through karmic debts and spiritual lessons.
• Growth through resilience, transformation, and trust in destiny.
23° North Node – The Visionary’s Expansion
• Destined to manifest big dreams into reality.
• Must overcome fear of failure and trust their ideas.
• Growth through innovation, creativity, and thinking outside the norm.
24° North Node – The Master Builder
• Learning how to take practical steps toward success.
• Must balance intuition with structure.
• Growth through discipline, long-term planning, and steady progress.
25° North Node – The Lover’s Evolution
• Must learn deep lessons through relationships and love.
• Healing comes from vulnerability and emotional depth.
• Growth through intimacy, self-love, and balanced relationships.
26° North Node – The Creative Visionary
• Learning to embrace and share their creative gifts.
• Must overcome fear of judgment and artistic blocks.
• Growth through self-expression, innovation, and confidence.
27° North Node – The Revolutionary Soul
• Destined to challenge the status quo and create change.
• Must break free from outdated beliefs and systems.
• Growth through rebellion, authenticity, and innovation.
28° North Node – The Emotional Master
• Must embrace emotional wisdom and deep healing.
• Learning to trust their feelings and inner guidance.
• Growth through emotional intelligence, healing, and self-awareness.
29° North Node – The Final Lesson
• The last degree holds intense karmic lessons and mastery.
• Must fully step into their life purpose before moving on.
• Growth through spiritual fulfillment, completion, and guiding others.
#astro notes#astrology#birth chart#astro observations#astro community#astrology observations#astrology community#astrology degrees#astro#astroblr#north node#north node in pisces#north node in leo
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JAVELIN is out today. Thank you for listening. I love you.
This album is dedicated to the light of my life, my beloved partner and best friend Evans Richardson, who passed away in April. He was an absolute gem of a person, full of life, love, laughter, curiosity, integrity, and joy. He was one of those rare and beautiful ones you find only once in a lifetime—precious, impeccable, and absolutely exceptional in every way.
I know relationships can be very difficult sometimes, but it’s always worth it to put in the hard work and care for the ones you love, especially the beautiful ones, who are few and far between. If you happen to find that kind of love, hold it close, hold it tight, savor it, tend to it, and give it everything you’ve got, especially in times of trouble. Be kind, be strong, be patient, be forgiving, be vigorous, be wise, and be yourself. Live every day as if it is your last, with fullness and grace, with reverence and love, with gratitude and joy. This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Thank you. I love you. XOS
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Black Card Issue | L. Jh

Genre: fluff, est. relationship, smut
Summary: after a fight, Jihoon didn't expect to receive notifications for a revenge. However, he's not complaining.
Note: having so much fun writing this with @hoshifighting please check lyla's blog here!
Welcome to the densworld woozi🧚♀️
Jihoon is a chill man. Very chill. He values his peace of mind so much that no one dares disturb him when he’s in the zone, writing music. His studio is his sanctuary, a place where time stops and the world outside becomes irrelevant. No one crosses that boundary. No one—until you came into his life.
A little bundle of surprise, Jihoon would say with a soft smile. You changed everything.
You love surprises. It’s something Jihoon figured out pretty early on, back when you were just dating. And now, after years together and tying the knot, he knows it’s not just something you like—it’s a part of you. You’re the kind of person who thrives on spontaneity. The joy in your eyes when you do something unexpected, whether it’s a small gift or a sudden change of plans, has become a familiar sight. Surprises are so integral to your personality that impulsivity became second nature to you, a habit you didn’t even realize you had.
And Jihoon? Well, he’s had to become well-trained in handling it.
It wasn’t always easy, especially in the beginning. Six months into dating, Jihoon was already struggling to keep his composure around you. You were a whirlwind of energy and unpredictability, and Jihoon was the type who liked things calm and structured—especially when it came to his work. But then you would send him something, like that photo on an ordinary Tuesday afternoon, just as he was about to attend a critical production meeting. A suggestive caption accompanying a picture of you that left him flushed and flustered.
He spent the rest of that day with his head spinning, barely able to focus on anything other than you.
His team noticed, of course. They always noticed when Jihoon was distracted—because it was rare. They’d been with him for over ten years, watching him pour his soul into his music, dedicated and unwavering. But you? It took you mere months to have Jihoon wrapped around your finger. And the best part? Jihoon willingly let it happen. He wanted to be wrapped around your finger.
And as much as his members teased him, he didn’t mind. Jihoon had always been the calm one, the focused one, the one who could drown out the world when he needed to. But with you, he didn’t want to drown out anything. He wanted to hear your laughter in the background while he worked. He wanted to receive those random photos in the middle of his meetings, even if they made him blush.
Now, Jihoon finds himself in his studio. Not the one at home, but the company studio. It was unusual—his fellow producers were surprised to see him there at this hour. 10 a.m.? That’s too early for Jihoon to be at work, they thought, especially since he rarely left the home studio after getting married.
“Did you two fight?” Soonyoung asked, making a quick stop before his schedule.
Jihoon didn’t answer. He simply turned the volume up, drowning out Soonyoung’s voice. Soonyoung scoffed but left, convinced that the only reason Jihoon would be at the company so early was if you two had fought. He knew Jihoon too well.
"Stop working for a while, man. Give your wife a rest," Soonyoung muttered as he left the studio. Jihoon cursed internally. How could Soonyoung read him so easily?
The truth was, last night didn’t go well. It was one of those nights Jihoon wished he could rewind—just take it all back. He came home late again, far too late. The kind of late where the house was eerily quiet, and the only light on was the one in the living room. He didn’t even realize how long he’d been working until he saw the notifications on his phone—your texts, your missed calls.
His heart sank. The guilt hit him immediately, but exhaustion numbed him from fully acknowledging it. He braced himself as he turned the knob, pushing the door open, hoping maybe you had gone to bed. But there you were, sitting on the couch, arms crossed, your phone lying idle beside you. You weren’t saying a word, but your silence screamed disappointment. And Jihoon knew—he’d screwed up again.
He paused at the doorway, waiting for you to say something, anything, but you didn’t. The air between you was suffocating, thick with unspoken words. He could feel your eyes on him, and it made his stomach twist. He hated it when you looked at him like that, like you were waiting for him to care enough to explain himself.
But instead of apologizing, instead of doing what he knew he should have done, Jihoon snapped.
"I work for you! I work hard to afford the life you want! Why don’t you understand?!" His voice rose, frustration dripping from every word. He didn’t mean it to come out that way. He didn’t mean to make it sound like you were the problem, like you were the one pushing him to the edge. But in that moment, he was too overwhelmed to control it.
The silence that followed was deafening. He saw the way your face fell, the way your shoulders slumped as if his words had physically weighed you down. You didn’t even argue back. You just stood there, absorbing the blow, your eyes wide and hurt, like you couldn’t believe the person you loved could say something so cruel. Jihoon could see it—the disappointment, the pain, the betrayal in your eyes.
He knew you weren’t with him for his money. He knew that from the start. You never cared about his fame, his success. You never asked for lavish gifts or expensive things. What you wanted—what you always asked for—was him. His time. His presence. But Jihoon, in his frantic rush to meet deadlines and exceed expectations, had forgotten.
He was so tired. The stress had piled up to the point that it felt like he was suffocating under the weight of everyone’s demands. His work was relentless, the pressure from his team to deliver perfection was unending, and somewhere along the way, he started feeling less like a person and more like a machine. And in all of that, he had forgotten you were the one person who treated him like a human being. The only person who reminded him to eat, to sleep, to rest.
But last night, Jihoon saw something in your eyes he never wanted to see again—pain. He had hurt you, and the worst part was, you didn’t deserve it.
You didn’t even say a word as you left the room, walking away with that shattered expression on your face. He stood there, frozen, wanting to chase after you, to take back everything he’d said, but he couldn’t move. He couldn’t think straight. The weight of everything felt too much.
Jihoon ended up sleeping in his home studio that night, staring blankly at his laptop screen, his mind racing with regret. He didn’t get any work done. How could he? All he could think about was the way you looked at him, the way your lips trembled like you were fighting back tears, the way you didn’t even argue because you were too hurt to speak. He hated himself for it.
The guilt gnawed at him all night, so by the time morning came, he couldn’t bear to be in the same house. He thought if he went to the company studio, if he just got out, maybe it would clear his head. Maybe he could focus on work and forget how badly he had messed up.
But he couldn’t. You were all he could think about. Even surrounded by equipment and projects, even as he tried to drown himself in work, his thoughts kept drifting back to you. The regret kept replaying in his mind like a broken record, and the truth settled in his chest like a lead weight—he could never stop thinking about you. He never could.
And now, sitting alone in the company studio, he could still see your face in his mind, the hurt he had caused, and it tore him apart.
"Jihoon…" His manager knocked on the door, pulling Jihoon from his deep focus. He turned his head toward the reflection in the glass and saw someone entering. Quickly, he put down his headphones.
"The bank called me," his manager said, concern lacing his voice. "Someone's been making a lot of purchases with your account, and they couldn’t reach you. So, I got worried."
Jihoon blinked, realization dawning as he remembered he had turned off his phone earlier to avoid distractions. He hurriedly switched it back on, and as expected, notifications flooded his screen. Among them were a surprising number of texts from you.
Curious, Jihoon opened your messages, and his eyes widened. You had sent him a series of photos—shopping bags piled high, receipts for luxury items, and then… a car. You bought a car?
Jihoon sighed, rubbing his temples as he scrolled through the notifications of credit charges—clothes, electronics, and more. Why did you decide to buy all of this in one day?
"Everything’s fine. It’s just… my wife," Jihoon said, a little embarrassed as he reassured his manager. "No one’s using my card without permission."
His manager chuckled, seeming relieved, before leaving Jihoon alone with his thoughts.
Just as Jihoon exhaled, another text popped up. A photo of you in a jacuzzi, clearly in some luxurious hotel, wearing a brand new red bikini. The caption that followed made Jihoon’s breath hitch.
You: Want to give me the life I want? Come here. Turns out, spending your money doesn’t satisfy me enough.
Jihoon sighed deeply, his face growing warm as he hurriedly turned off everything in his studio. It was no use—he’d have to go get his black card back from you. Or maybe get something else.
*
You feel the dash of cold air hit your skin as you lay back against the heated tiles of the jacuzzi, legs lazily draped over the edge. You can’t help the little smirk pulling at your lips as you scroll through Jihoon’s texts. He’s gonna kill you. Well, maybe not kill, but he’ll definitely be pissed off. The shopping spree, the car, the photos—God, you knew exactly what you were doing. Pressing his buttons like that, getting him riled up on purpose, all because he had the audacity to shout at you last night.
But, you’re done with his bullshit excuses. He can whine about deadlines and stress all he wants, but you’re not here for that. You’re here for him, and clearly, he needs a little reminder.
The door to the hotel room opens, and even with the sound of the jacuzzi jets bubbling, you hear it. He’s here. Your heart skips a beat as the familiar, steady thud of Jihoon’s shoes echo in the space. He doesn’t say anything at first, but you can feel the burden of his stare on you, heavy and unrelenting. His presence is like a storm, silent but brewing.
You stretch your arms above your head, not even looking up, knowing full well he’s staring.
“Took you long enough,” You hum, voice saturated by fake innocence, like you hadn’t been the one who set the whole thing in motion. “figured you’d be quicker if i spent a little more of your money.”
Silence.
Then, the sound of him setting something down—his keys? maybe his bag? You don’t care. You hear the shuffle of his shoes being kicked off, and that’s when you finally open your eyes.
Jihoon stands at the edge of the jacuzzi, arms crossed, jaw tight, his eyes dreary and locked onto you.
“You’ve got some nerve,” he finally speaks, voice low, a growl almost. “what do you think you’re doing?”
You shrug, acting like you don’t feel the tension. “Just giving myself a little treat. After all, i am your wife. Don’t i deserve the best?”
Jihoon doesn’t say anything, just stares at you for a moment longer before his hands move to his belt. Your eyes widen, mouth parting slightly. “Oh, you think this is funny? You think you can just spend my money, send me those pictures, and i’ll come running?”
“Well, you did come running…” You mumble as if you were talking to yourself.
Jihoon moves, and before you know it, he’s crouched beside the jacuzzi, fingers hooking into the strap of your bikini top, pulling you closer to him with little resistance. “You know,” he murmurs, his voice rough, “this is the last thing you’ll be wearing tonight.”
Before you can even form a reply, he tugs at the fabric, and the red bikini snaps, tearing with a sharp rip.
Jihoon stands back up, the smirk on his face teasing you in a way that gets under your skin. His hand casually tosses the torn bikini top aside like it’s nothing, he looks at you, riling you up on purpose. He doesn’t rush; he takes his time pulling off his shirt, his pants.
You narrow your eyes, trying to keep the annoyance in check, but he’s pushing your buttons. “Really?” you ask. “You had to rip it off just to mess with me? You’re such an asshole”
“Yeah?” he murmurs, taking a step closer until he's right in front of you again. He leans down, pushing you back into the jacuzzi, the water sloshing as your back hits the edge. “You look mad, but I bet you’re dripping right now.”
You can even think of a response, his hand slips into your bikini bottoms just as he sits down. His fingers brush lightly over your clit, not applying pressure, just teasing, circling it slow just to watch you squirm. You twitch under his touch, your legs parting on instinct, hips bucking just slightly. He’s not giving you enough, and he knows it.
“You like to play these games, baby?” he murmurs. “Teasing me, spending all my money. What’s the real reason, huh? Just wanted my attention this bad?”
You bite back a moan, refusing to let him win so easily. “Shut up,” you manage to grit out, but the breathlessness in your voice betrays you. His thumb starts rubbing a little harder, making the bud throb on his thumb. You feel your body arching toward him, a needy moan escaping despite yourself.
“No...” he leans down, his lips brushing against your ear. “I wanna hear you say it. You knew I’d come running, right?”
His fingers press harder now, slipping lower, teasing your entrance without pushing in. Your hands grip the edge of the tub, eyes rolling back slightly as he continues torturing you.
“You’re so fucking annoying,” you hiss, your words catching in your throat as his fingers pick up the tempo. He’s still circling, still rubbing, but it’s not nearly enough. You need more, and he knows it.
“Oh, I’m annoying?” he growls softly, leaning his weight into you, fingers pressing harder, deeper, but still not giving you what you need. “What’s annoying is you buying cars and booking hotels like you don’t already have everything you want right here.”
Your legs spread wider, hips instinctively grinding down against Jihoon’s fingers as they tease your entrance. Your hand shoots up to grip his wrist, trying to gude his fingers in, but he stills the arm, cupping you. His other hand trails up your chest, stopping to toy with your nipples, flicking and squeezing them just enough to make you gasp. Then, wetting the valley of your breasts, his hand moves to your throat, wrapping around it in a firm grip, pushing your head back until it rests on the cold border of the jacuzzi.
“You’re so needy,” Jihoon mutters, watching as your mouth falls open, eyes half-lidded, breath coming out in shallow pants. You feel his thumb graze over your bottom lip, smirking as if he’s amused by just how desperate you’ve become. He hasn’t even given you what you want yet, but you’re already a mess for him.
Finally, his fingers push inside, just one at first, but the way your body responds—instantly clenching, your pussy practically swallowing his finger whole—makes him groan low in his throat. The water ripples around the two of you, splashing lightly against your skin as his movements grow rougher.
“God, you’re soaked,” he chuckles, voice almost mocking as his finger curls inside you, hitting that sweet spot making your hips jerk by their own. Even with the water swirling around, Jihoon can feel the heat between your thighs, the sticky slickness of your folds clinging to his fingers as he slides in another.
Your grip tightens on his wrist, trying to pull him closer, but he doesn't let up. Instead, his fingers work you harder, pumping in and out of you making the water splash with every push. The sound is obscene, the wet slaps of his fingers echoing in the room, blending with your suffered moans, and Jihoon's grunts.
You lift your gaze to him, lips parted, eyes pleading, practically begging for more. You look up at Jihoon with a needy expression that you know drives him crazy. But he just grins, slowing his movements slightly, his hand tightening around your throat.
“Aww, look at you,” he coos, voice soft despite the way his fingers are fucking into you hard, relentless. “Such a pretty little mess. You like this, don’t you? Me ruining you with just my fingers?”
You can’t form words, your head tilting back more as his pace quickens again, fingers curling deep, hitting the spongy spot that makes your vision blur. The water splashes harder now, droplets spilling over the edge of the tub as your hips buck in time with his thrusts. Your legs tremble, thighs shaking, and all you can manage is a soft whimper, your entire body arching toward him.
Jihoon chuckles again, watching you fall apart beneath him. “That’s it, baby,” he murmurs, fingers pumping in and out faster, thumb rubbing over your clit in quick circles. “You’re so fucking tight… taking it so well. What do you want, huh? You want more?”
Your breath catches in your throat, his words making your body ache. You nod frantically, too overwhelmed to say anything. The hand around your throat loosens slightly, giving you a moment to breathe, but he doesn’t stop. His fingers continue their brutal pace, fucking you deep, and you know he’s not stopping until you cum around his long fingers.
You feel your stomach flip when Jihoon curls his fingers and stills them, making your body arch off the jacuzzi edge as you instinctively reach for him, grabbing a fistful of his hair and pulling him down to kiss you.
The kiss is brutish, dirty—his lips smashing into yours, teeth clashing as his tongue slips into your mouth. He sucks your tongue hard, biting down on your bottom lip in that way that always makes your legs tremble. You can’t focus, the pleasure building too fast, making it impossible to keep up with the kiss. But you try, you desperately try, your hands clutching tighter in his hair.
It’s only a matter of seconds before your body betrays you. You moan into his mouth, the sound low and drawn out, muffled by the kiss. You pull him closer, your grip tightening painfully in his hair as the pleasure crests, your body trembling as your back arches impossibly high.
Your nipples graze his chest, the sensation of your sensitive skin brushing against his, makes him shiver, his breath hitching as your slick cunt clenches hard around his fingers.
Your moans become more frantic, desperate, and you can’t keep kissing him anymore. Your mouth falls open, head tilting back as you gasp for air, your body seizing up with the strength of your orgasm.
Your pussy tightens around his fingers, your thighs shaking uncontrollably as you cum, the water splashing violently around you from the press of your movements. Jihoon smirks down at you, clearly proud of himself, fingers still thrusting into you even as you come down from your high. “That’s it, baby,” he murmurs, voice soft but teasing. “Cum all over my fingers.”
Your mind is still swimming in the hangovers of your orgasm when Jihoon suddenly pulls his hand away. You’re left panting, trying to catch your breath, but he’s already manhandling you, turning you around and pressing you into the edge of the tub.
“Get on all fours,” he orders. You don’t hesitate, your body moving on autopilot as you shift into position, knees pressing into jacuzzi, hands bracing yourself against the edge.
Jihoon’s grip is firm as he presses you down, making sure you don’t slip on the slick surface. His fingers dig into your hips, holding you steady while he strokes himself behind you. You glance back, seeing him gripping his cock, pumping himself slowly, the tip flushed red and dripping with pre-cum, some veins popping up when he cuts the blood circulation. The sight makes your mouth water.
He lines himself up with you, the head of his cock teasing your wet pussy, but he doesn’t push in just yet. Instead, he grabs your bikini bottom—what’s left of it anyway—and yanks it harshly to the side, exposing your swollen, sensitive folds. You feel the fabric digging into your skin, tight and uncomfortable.
Jihoon watches, mesmerized, as your pussy clenches around nothing, your body still sensitive from your previous orgasm. Slowly Jihoon pushes inside. He takes his time, savoring the way your walls squeeze around him, they way you slick starts to coat him too, your body struggling to accommodate his size. You whimper, fingers clawing at the edge of the tub, trying to keep yourself stable as he fills you inch by inch.
He moans deep in his throat, the sound oscillating through his chest as he bottoms out, his cock buried fully inside you.
You bite your lip, arching your back even more, desperate to take him deeper. “Jihoon… please…”
But he just chuckles darkly, pulling out slowly, only to slam back in, making the water splash around you both again. “Oh, you’ll get what you want,” he promises. “Just keep taking it like that.”
His fingers tangle in your hair, tugging hard enough to make you gasp. The sharp pull has you arching back, your spine curving as he yanks you up against his chest, your back pressing flush against his front. The new angle makes his cock hit even deeper, your breath hitching as the tip grazes that swollen spot inside you.
Jihoon glances at the nearby mirror, his eyes glued to the reflection of your bodies. Your tits bounce with every thrust, soft and flushed, his eyes darken, watching the way your skin sticks to his, the way your body—though trembling—melts against him, sacrificing to the pleasure despite every nerve in your body wanting to tense up.
He moans suffered, his forehead dropping to your shoulder, feeling the warmness radiating off your skin. You’re burning up, both of you are, your bodies slick with sweat despite being submerged in water seconds after. Jihoon can’t help but bury his face against your neck, breathing you in, skin to skin, letting the sensation take over him.
“Fuck,” he mumbles against your shoulder, his lips brushing your skin, almost as if he's talking to himself. “I missed this. Missed you.”
His hips don’t stop, driving into you harder, your thighs shaking as you try to keep up, but your body is already on the edge. You’re clinging to him for dear life, your head falling back against his shoulder, mouth falling open as breathless moans slip out with every thrust.
“I’m sorry,” Jihoon suddenly murmurs, his voice softer now, tender. He keeps thrusting into you, but there’s an apology laced in every word, every snap of his hips. “I’m so fucking sorry… for everything.”
You don’t answer, can’t even if you wanted to. Your breath is caught in your throat, the only response you give is the way your body clings to his, melting further into his hold as his hands roam down your body.
He doesn’t expect you to answer. Maybe he doesn’t even need you to. He just keeps going, fucking into you like he’s trying to apologize through the way his body moves against yours. His grip loosens in your hair, his hand sliding down the curve of your waist, lower, until his fingers find the puffy bundle of nerves between your legs.
The second his fingers brush over your clit, your whole body tenses again, only to relax almost instantly as he starts rubbing teasing circles. You whimper, legs trembling, hardly competent to hold yourself up, and Jihoon groans into your skin, feeling the way you melt even more against him.
“You’re so fucking perfect,” he breathes, his voice raspy in your ear. “Always take me so well… fuck… so tight, baby… you feel that? You’re clenching around me.”
You don’t say anything, just a soft gasp escapes your lips, your head falling back further onto his shoulder, exposing the column of your throat to him. His fingers quicken their pace, matching the rhythm of his thrusts, every brush of his thumb over your swollen clit making you cry out.
“I know I fucked up,” Jihoon whispers, his forehead still pressed to your shoulder, his breath hot against your skin. "But I can’t stop… I can’t stop thinking about you. About this. About how good you feel around me.”
Your chest heaves with each breath, your thighs trembling uncontrollably as his hand continues working you, his other arm wrapping around your waist to hold you tighter, anchoring you to him. His fingers press harder against your clit, drawing tight circles that make your whole body twitch, every nerve ending alive and buzzing.
“Come on, baby,” he coaxes, his voice dipping into that familiar, filthy tone, the one that drives you insane. “Cum for me… I know you’re close. I can feel it. You’re squeezing me so fucking tight.”
You’re so close, your vision blurring as the heat in your core builds higher. Your body’s completely given in to him, to the way he’s fucking you deep and hard while his fingers expertly play with your clit, not giving you a single moment of respite.
And then it hits, hard and fast. Your back arches, body tensing as the orgasm rips through you, ripple after ripple of pleasure crashing over you as your pussy clenches tight around him. Your hands reach back, desperately grabbing at anything—his hair, his arms—trying to ground yourself as you moan out his name, breathless and trembling.
Jihoon groans at the feeling, his cock throbbing inside you as your walls pulse around him. “Fuck… that’s it,” he rasps, his hand slowing its movements on your clit, letting you ride out your high. He’s still buried deep inside you, his cock twitching, and he watches in the mirror as your body shudders against his.
He doesn’t pull out. Instead, he shifts you forward, placing you on all fours again, his hands steadying you as he lines himself up once more. His hand slides down to your ass, pushing your bikini bottom further to the side so he can watch as your tight puffy walls flutter around him.
Without delay, he starts thrusting again, his pace slow but deep, watching as your body tenses, clenching around him every time he sinks in.
Jihoon lets out a series of the neediest, whiniest moans you've ever heard from him, and it hits you differently—vulnerable, like you’ve broken through every layer he keeps guarded.
Then he sinks in fully and stops.
You slouch forward, your whole body going limp as you brace yourself on your forearms. You feel him pressed against your back, the warmth of his skin sticking to yours as his breath hitches in your ear.
And then it fills you—heat as his cum spurts deep inside you. Hot, thick, and it has you crying out, your voice breaking as your body quakes beneath him. You can feel every pulse of his cock as he fills you up, making your insides feel impossibly full.
Your back trembles under his weight, every muscle in your body quivering as his release continues to flood you. Your pussy clenches around him involuntarily, trying to milk every last drop from him, and it only makes him groan louder.
“Shit,” Jihoon breathes, his voice a wrecked, breathy mess as he leans forward, his forehead pressing into the back of your neck. His hands grip your hips tightly, like he’s using you to anchor himself through the intensity of his orgasm. “Fuck… you feel s'good.”
Your head drops onto your forearm, unable to do anything but take it all in. You can feel his cum dripping out of you, a warm, slick sensation as it mixes with the water around your thighs. Your legs are shaking, your core aching, but you don’t want him to pull out, you want to stay like this, to feel him deep inside you just a little longer.
Jihoon’s breathing finally starts to slow, his body still pressed flush against yours as his arms snake around your waist, holding you tight. You hum softly in response, his cum continues to spill out, and you can feel every slow drip as your pussy flutters, trying to recover from the relentless pounding he just gave you.
He pulls back slightly, just enough to glance down at the sight of your trembling back. A soft smirk tugs at his lips as he watches how your body reacts to him, still sensitive, still on edge. “Look at you,” he whispers, his tone soft but teasing. “You’re still shaking. Did I fuck you that good?”
You don’t answer him; just let out a shaky breath. Your body is completely spent, and you can narrowly keep yourself upright. Jihoon chuckles softly, pressing a kiss to your damp skin before pulling out slowly, the loss of him leaving you feeling empty and aching. The last bit of his cum leaks out of you as he does, and he watches, fascinated, as it mixes with the water beneath you.
He moves to your side, pulling you into his chest, his hands rubbing gentle circles on your back as you both come down from the high.
Jihoon gently lifted you from the jacuzzi, his hands steady as he wrapped a robe around your body, drying you with care. His touch was soft, and the tension between you started to ease with each moment. He laid you down on the bed with tenderness, his eyes flickering with a mix of concern and regret.
As he stepped away to quickly clean himself up, you could feel the weight of his emotions lingering in the air. When he returned, Jihoon slid into bed beside you, pulling you into his arms, his warmth pressing against your skin. His embrace was tight but comforting, as though he was trying to hold on to more than just the moment.
"I'm sorry..." His voice was barely above a whisper, yet the sincerity in it was undeniable. He rested his forehead gently against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the quiet space between you. "Please forgive me."
You could feel the vulnerability in his words, a side of Jihoon that he rarely showed.
You lay there in his arms, feeling the tension in his body slowly release as he held you close. His apology lingered in the air, filled with emotion you hadn’t heard from him before. For a moment, everything was quiet—the warmth of his skin, the sound of your breathing, and the beating of his heart against yours.
Jihoon pulled back slightly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of forgiveness. His brows furrowed, and he seemed almost afraid of what you might say. You reached up, your fingers brushing against his cheek, the familiar sensation calming you both.
“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me,” you whispered, the weight of the past argument starting to lift. “But it’s hard sometimes, Jihoon. You get so lost in your work…”
He nodded, the regret still heavy in his gaze. "I know. I promise I'll do better. I can't stand the thought of losing you, or pushing you away."
His words tugged at your heart, and you could see how much he meant it. There had always been that side of him—driven, focused, and dedicated—but sometimes it made him forget everything else. Still, here he was, trying, apologizing, and making the effort to put you first.
Without saying anything, you leaned in, closing the distance between you, your lips brushing his in a soft kiss. Jihoon sighed against your mouth, relief and gratitude flooding through him as he deepened the kiss, his arms tightening around you as though he couldn’t bear to let go.
When you finally pulled away, your foreheads touched again, both of you breathing a little more steadily now.
“I forgive you,” you said softly. His eyes brightened at your words, and you felt the tension finally melt away completely. Jihoon smiled, a rare, gentle one that you didn’t see often enough, and he pressed a kiss to your forehead.
“Thank you,” he whispered, pulling you closer again, as though he couldn’t get enough of having you in his arms.
*
Jihoon sighed deeply as he glanced around your living room, cluttered with bags and boxes of things you'd bought earlier that day. His eyes scanned the array of items before he asked, half-jokingly, “Is it even possible to empty my bank account in a single day?”
You smiled, shaking your head as you tried to ease his worry. “Don’t stress. I can sell them all on the marketplace. They’ll be gone in two days, tops. I promise.”
Jihoon raised an eyebrow and picked up one item that particularly caught his attention—a pair of leopard-printed underwear for men. He held it up with a bemused expression, “Leopard print... for me?”
You grinned mischievously, “Yup! Oh, and I got you the hot pink one, too. Thought you’d look great in it.”
Jihoon groaned, his face a mix of amusement and disbelief. “You know it was a joke when everyone said i wear these kind of panties, right? There’s no way I’d ever wear these.”
You crossed your arms, stepping closer with a playful smirk on your face. “Oh, I can make you wear them,” you teased, your tone light but daring.
Jihoon chuckled, shaking his head at your persistence. “Is that a challenge?”
“Maybe,” you replied, your grin widening. “I have my ways. Just wait until you see how good you look in them.”
He rolled his eyes, but a small smile tugged at his lips. “You’re impossible.”
You stepped even closer, standing on your toes to whisper in his ear, “You’ll thank me later.”
Jihoon’s laughter filled the room as he pulled you into a hug, shaking his head. “You never give up, do you?”
“Never,” you said, wrapping your arms around him. "And trust me, you’ll look amazing in leopard print."
With a defeated sigh, Jihoon gave you one more playful glare, “Fine. But don’t think this means I’m wearing the hot pink ones too.”
“We’ll see about that,” you replied, your voice full of challenge and laughter as you leaned into his embrace.
#seventeen imagines#seventeen fanfic#seventeen angst#densworld🌼#seventeen scenarios#seventeen series#seventeen drabbles#seventeen fanfiction#seventeen imagine#hoshifighting#collaboration#woozi x reader#woozi smut#woozi fluff#woozi imagines#seventeen woozi#woozi fic#jihoon x reader#jihoon smut#jihoon fluff
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Not Everything Has to Be Earned: Placements Learning to Receive💧🍀✨




Libra, Scorpio & Capricorn, Aquarius Rising: These signs all have a transformative sign in their 2nd house. A sign which will allow for alchemy, expansion of consciousness, quantum leaping & letting go for the new to come in, in regard to abundance, receiving energy & money. If these signs consciously choose to expand their beliefs around earning, new levels of receiving become unlocked
Venus in Pisces or Venus aspecting Neptune: Spiritually rich and money, their desires and abundance in all forms come when they are in flow. It's important they clear any beliefs of being unworthy of luxury and stop undercharging
Venus opposing, square or conjunct Jupiter/Pluto: This indicates a transformation/expansion of values, feminine energy & abundance in order to strengthen it, empower it, and liberate it from shadow traits that can block receiving energy
South Node in the 6th house / North Node in the 12th house: Many past lives related to this lifetime were centered around the grind, service to others & work. We are learning & integrating new soul-led abundance, the power of the subconscious & aligning with abundance energetically.
Jupiter or Neptune in the 2nd house: The potent powers surrounding abundance & money are present with these placements. Although sometimes they may not trust the flow 100%, Jupiter by wanting more or power over the situation and Neptune by fogginess caused by over feeling/thinking the situation, eventually feeling lost. Believing in their worth & surrendering "how" it will happen it when money shows up.
North Node in Taurus / 2nd house: Instead of lifetimes of having to navigate chaos, being in survival mode & putting effort into what is the most strategic outcome, we are channeling simplicity, consistency internally & leaning into relaxation, money & abundance included
Black Moon Lilith in the 2nd house: Lilith is where we reclaim our independence and pleasure without feeling shame of guilt for doing so. This is harnessing our dark feminine nature surrounding not rejecting wealth to prove our independence but rather being magnetic, persuasive & claiming authority over our abundance to receive in powerful ways
Chiron in Capricorn or in the 10th house: This can indicate wounds & insecurity surrounding masculine energy. This can include over working towards status, income & our legacy from a place of insecurity. The truth is we have the tools & skills already within us to train towards being in a secure place with our masculine energy, which can include balancing & integrating our feminine intuition which Capricorn energy carries potent codes for. Capricorn knows WHEN to strategically put energy & to allowing your legacy to be on your own terms
Moon in Taurus or Cancer or at 2, 4, 14, 16, 26, 28 degrees: Very intuitive with security and with money but there can be moments where we feel guilty about indulgence or that wealth is our natural birthright
Ceres aspecting the North Node: Ceres is all about abundance, fertility & crops. We want to plant the fertile soil for consistent, steady & natural growth of abundance. We should mimic nature if we have this placement, for we should prioritize nourishment, receiving and self-care without hustle which can lead to burnout
Chiron in 2nd house or in Taurus or at 2, 14, or 26 degrees: This can indicate a deep wound around self-worth and financial safety. It's important to ground your energy into feeling consistently deserving of your asking prices, your inherent value & of luxury in life. It's important to not give if it shakes your stability & to not undercharge
Par of Fortune in the 2nd house, Taurus, or at 2, 14, or 26 degrees: Abundance, prosperity, success and joy comes when we keep it simple, when we're embodying simplicity, simply being. The universe wants to shower these natives with material blessings, and it comes when they anchor into being more than enough as they are in each moment
#astrology notes#astrology#astro tumblr#taurus#astrology observations#astrology blog#birth chart#astro notes#astrology placements#chiron#libra#scorpio#aquarius#capricorn
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Do NOT Support Hard Drive On Patreon

You might see friends today suggesting you support Hard Drive on Patreon today. You know, the funny video games version of The Onion? As a journalist, I will firmly tell you DO NOT GIVE THEM A DIME.
The CEO has pushed out all former staff that have built the site up to its current greatness and has been pushing the use of AI. The staff begged to have a Patreon before basically all being pushed out, but the idea was refused until now, when it will only line the pockets of a single person instead of hard working writers.
I know they might have provided laughs before, but Hard Drive is a shell of what it was once. Let it die and support the people who actually made those moments of joy possible. Don't believe me? Check out what former employees are saying below:
Kevin Podas: Okay you know what, I would feel bad saying nothing about this, so here goes:🚨SAVE YOUR MONEY🚨
We passionately advocated for a Patreon at Hard Drive & were aggressively shot down. The talent & people who built the site were pushed out. To see this now is beyond upsetting. For the past few years or so I put a lot of myself into this website. I pitched a ton of jokes, got over 120 articles published, & met a lot of great people. I'm sure if you've been following me for some time you could easily see this.
However, there is a lot of misinformation. I was eventually promoted to Managing Editor of the site & was ecstatic. Grateful for the opportunity. Felt like all of my hard work in the comedy mines was finally paying off. But things took a turn for the worst, & each day there were new surprises that affected our livelihoods. These were all very avoidable surprises, mind you.
A patreon was going to be our hail mary, but alas, for some reason, the power that be did not want it. Causing us to leave a dream job behind. "At least we did all we could," we consoled ourselves afterwards. I put a lot of myself into this project. I pitched all sorts of ideas that could have helped-- we all did. Merch collaborations, Patreon-integrated YouTube content, so much more. And most of them were shot down out of sheer stubbornness and nothing more. To see lie after lie spread, and multiple big publications and YouTubers that I am a fan of promote this Patreon under these pretenses is incredibly upsetting. There are so many receipts.
Please share this and consider pulling out if you've already put money into this. On Hard Drive using AI, also from Kevin Podas: I can't personally confirm that part aside from some of the recent header images for articles on both Hard Drive and Hard Times are being made with AI. As far as writing, it's been mentioned in the past, but I personally do not know. Maybe others do, maybe not. MORE From Kevin Podas suggesting the owner denying a Patreon being set up earlier cost an artist a job that was replaced by AI: We had a social media person who was awesome! He made the images until this AI implementation. He had to leave because ad revenue was low and a Patreon was aggressively refused.
Luca Fisher: at the risk of burning some bridges, i have to back up kevin here. i've only been part-time, in-and-out of hard drive since i got in last year, but i can corroborate that management doubled and tripled down about not hosting a patreon/crowdfunding and that many other suggestions and ideas, including mine (and ones much smarter than mine!), were shot down in really long, apocalyptic threads of everyone left on deck desperately trying to come up with ways to keep the lights on. managerially it has been messy and sad
i've written for multiple publications that have long since died, ones that were in the process of dying, and ones that, in this case, are soon to be put in the ground. it is sad and sucks every time. i don't know what could have been done differently, but i do know that a lot of great writers and content creators were left shorthanded and unhappy by the way things have gone. and it is sort of puzzling to see the sudden championing of patreon after we were all told plenty of times that it couldn't work and we should move on also, just to add my own personal two cents here, i was really disappointed by the shuttering of many different article sections on the site over the past 6-8 months. i understand cutting corners in a deficit, and i know it had to be done. that said…
all in all, i'm really sad to see this all happen. i don't fault anyone, if only because i don't really know enough about how this all can happen to make sense of it. games journalism is in a sad, sorry state, and will likely no longer be a thing in the next decade
VideoSealMan: I'm gonna say this because I think I deserve to. For months, MONTHS on end I was bugging Hard Drive management about a Patreon. Often I got ignored for a week+, but when I actually got a response I was encouraged to - of all things, write up a Google Doc pitching the concept I did it regardless. I wasn't the only one trying to sway management on a Patreon, but so fiercely was I fighting for it that last night, I was accused of making this comment directly by the CEO! With no evidence whatsoever! After I'd been gone for over a month.
I vouched so hard for Patreon because I wanted all the writers and creatives working with Hard Drive including myself to get paid better. When I actually got a response, the idea was often shut down. Eventually due to the state of my company, my pay was cut for a second time I confronted management alongside a couple other important figureheads at the org and told them that if we couldn't do a Patreon - I could no longer financially justify staying there. The answer was still no, so I left. Baffled at the decision, but whatever.
It is unendingly frustrating to know that myself and many other people who put their soul into Hard Drive LEFT because of management's absolute refusal to compromise on a Patreon, to then see them launch one anyway a month later and get over 1000 people pledging money. I'm seeing a lot of things float around about greed and people being fired. No one was fired. Everyone who left, left because they were sick of management's decision-making. And honestly, management is a lot of things but I would not call them greedy. (From my experience.) They did genuinely make an effort to pay people as much as possible. I found the pay very fair for a while. I am not disputing that I was paid what I was owed - yet management frequently feels the need to remind critics of that. Lmao, yes. I was paid what I was owed. No one is disputing payment. You did the bare minimum a business owner should do and paid everyone their due, very well done. I make no allegations of greed, cheating or foul play. I make allegations of poor management and incompetence that has fucked over other people.
Basically the only people left at Hard Drive have been there for about 2 months. They will reap the rewards of this successful Patreon I and so many others passionately fought for for so long. We will not see a dime.
I do not know the new people at Hard Drive, But I feel bad for them. They were haphazardly thrust into Hard Drive's workplace with little to no explanation on how anything works, or given any context on the state of the place. Even now managements feeds them half-truths and misinformation about other people's grievances. I am broke and have been for a while. I had to move out of my flat in Reading and back with my family because of how little money I was making. This has basically doomed my flatmate to moving back in with abusive parents, which is something I feel guilty about every day. If we had gone with the Patreon I worked myself hoarse over back then, this could have been avoided. Some of my other good pals could also not have been fucked over.
It was a bad judgment call, but it's not a crime. It's just management getting it wrong.
So should you give to the Hard Drive Patreon? I don't know! I don't think any of the new people working there to patch up the holes left by the recent mass exodus have any bad intentions. Maybe they deserve it! But it is not the same site you knew a year ago, or even a month ago. Myself and many people who were there far longer than me and did far more for it than I did are all gone now because we could not deal with management's terrible decision-making and dogass communication any longer. That's what you should know, imo
I had an agreement in place with management that I would receive the next 8 months of revenue from the Hard Drive YT channel from my leaving in November. This was a deal I appreciated, and thought was very fair on management's behalf. So far, the deal has been honoured for 2 months. However as of last night I was removed from the Hard Drive Slack without warning, and as an editor for the YouTube channel. This means I no longer have any way of verifying how much I am owed, I just have to take their word for it. I'm sure management will make their own statements full of half-truths and weird language on the many cases being brought against them - I'd take everything they say with a pinch of salt if some of the screenshots I've seen of them talking about me are any indication lol
To management; I do not want to talk to you. I want you to DM me a screenshot of how much I'm owed every month and then send me the money per our agreement until June, then we can go our separate ways. Do that and admit to your mistakes, and maybe you can recover your reputation! That's it from me, lol. If they pull out of the deal and fuck me over I'll have more to say, but most of what I know is other people's stories of incompetence and poor decision-making, lol. I genuinely get no pleasure out of doing this; I do not think management is evil - I just think they're really bad at what they do and it's cost other, more talented people, lol. You should believe the writers imo
One last thing I wanna say btw, management did often stress that no one should try to make Hard Drive a full time thing. They were transparent about that, and that is fair. I was working on it because at a few points, I was lead to believe we actually were doing a Patreon. Many other ppl have similar stories of being strung along by management changing their minds and stop-starting shit every 2 weeks. We all made the fatal mistake of overestimating our manager - who would tell you one thing one day and something totally opposite the next week lol
Hunter R. Thompson:
I'm not your dad, but speaking as a Hard Drive writer, I don't know that funding Hard Drive on Patreon is worth it
The driving talent on the back end—behind the kickass site I joined in 2019—have peaced out over the years as the site's been (in our view) increasingly mismanaged. Mismanagement like, not setting up crowdfunding before the ship sank and all its best crew failed; or publishing a screenshot of Andy Ngo pedojacketing a trans writer, complete with her deadname; or a disgruntled ex-writer getting falsely accused of shit-talk, by actual staff. I'm grateful for the writing I've gotten to produce for HD (and will forever be kicking myself for not writing even more, in the four years I've had to do it!! i'm a dumbass!!!) but it is very much no longer the site I signed up for.
I don't want to resign as a contributor altogether, because I'm open to the idea of the site recovering and bad practices being retired as finances level out-- it would just be dishonest for potential backers to not be Aware Of The Circumstances, I think.
Jeremy Kaplowitz: i truly don't want to start shit, but feel compelled to say: i want to see Hard Drive succeed w/o resorting to throwing former writers & editors, myself included, under the bus. surely there's a way to save the site without building it over the corpses of those who left. my $0.02 i don't blame anyone who wants to sign up for the HD patreon and i support the website, but that includes those who worked on it for years, have complaints, and don't deserve to be treated like bitter assholes like this kind of stuff is just objectively true, meanwhile there's these new writers who joined the site after i left (meaning, in the last ~3 months) claiming people are liars. decide for yourself if you care, but this is what happened! [Quotes this Tweet]
Seth Finkelstein: Writing for Hard Drive has been a privilege the past few years, and it makes me so angry to see people I looked up to get jerked around behind the scenes. The amount of grenades the editors jumped on our behalf is immense, and I don't think the way they're being treated is right.
Other Bits On AI: We do know for sure however that AI art has been used by the site. Its fucking owner confirms it here:https://twitter.com/MattSaincome/status/1743040541603123622. Seems the owner pushed AI written articles as well! TayFabe: My vaguetweet is making the rounds & these made me apoplectic. - owner regularly lobbied using ai. Once he tested it & said ai was writing better satire than 25% of the HT/HD writers. - ai images were used on the site & socials w/o consulting the team or disclosing it publicly I found the ai bit relevant to include bc 1) it illuminates a stark change in HD's current direction & leadership, 2) ai images have previously been used on the site and (since deleted) ig posts, 3) ai content fucking sucks, and repeatedly pushing to use it is a telling quality The "handful of writers who chose to leave" includes 2 editors-in-chief (both cofounders who wrote a combined total of >1,000 articles & defined the voice of HD), & at least 3 other editors. These guys put in WORK since 2017, so cool to be corrected by ppl who joined in Nov 2023 [Link to mentioned vague tweet from post.] More from TayFabe: owner continuously lobbied for using ai in every possible way. No one else wanted to do it, but he kept on, saying ai was writing better satire than 25% of the HT/HD writers. Also, ai images were used on the site & socials without public disclosure or consulting the team.
The owner has responded now multiple times in a private discord... Thank you for people sharing screenshots! First Screenshot:

Kevin's Response: He banned me from the server for speaking out, so no, I didn't see it. And he gave no indication of a timeline, it was just "we'll do one when *I* say so" and gave every inclination he was totally against it. It bred an environment that pushed our hands to have to leave. Screenshot Round Two:


Kevin's Response: "Starting one in 3 months" is an absolute lie. He denied it, I have screenshots and others who can confirm. No timeline was given. Just "this is what it is now" and like, I couldn't live off of that. I wanted to do more but he was allergic to good ideas from others around him.
Matt, owner of Hard Drive, responds publicly on Twitter.
Matt: Kevin, the patreon launch was delayed because I didn't think it would work. Everyone is happy that it did work. Everyone who left the site because we didn't have money to pay for creative content which didn't revenue is welcome to return home. But unclear why the hostility.
Hard Drive paid out literally every dollar it had, then a bunch more, to creative people who worked on the site. When we ran out of money, we couldn't pay anymore. We did our best.
Kevin: Right, and my point of this thread was that it was completely and totally avoidable. This is reasonable to be upset about. How could I have been any more clear?
Matt: If we knew with 100% certainly that the community would have supported us via patreon, we would have done that. We didn't know. We had tried 4 years ago and got no support. We were wrong this time. We did our best to figure it out. We paid all the money we could.
Kevin: So you knew with 100% certainty this time? Or you took a leap of faith?
Matt: It was a last gasp panic effort after ad rates got cut in half on january 1st due to seasonal spending changes. We didn't know it would work. We were embarrassed to ask for support. We wanted to figure it out.
Kevin: Every site has a Patreon. Every YouTuber, comedy group, etc. But you insisted that nobody cared about Hard Drive. Which is wildly untrue. I know you see that now, but again, I think you can see why I and many others are pretty upset. A last ditch panic effort was long overdue. A couple more things from Matt:
It was about the size of the hole we needed plugged budget wise, the time I had left of personal resources, and the past data I had about us trying a patreon (which turned out to be a bad indicator). I didn't think the Patreon would help us fast enough. I made a bad estimation
aka "if we make $1000 more dollars a month via patreon, which would be 10x what we got last time, we will not solve any of our problems. If instead we try to plow down path B, we might make it out in time." That was the thinking. I chose the wrong path, but didn't mean to Kevin also retweeted this comment from the user Matt was responding to: So you're saying that you're bad at running the business, didn't listen to any of your employees until after they were forced to leave their jobs, and now you're going to get more of the money from the Patreon that was their idea in the first place? Matt's Response: Respectfully, I made a mistake delaying the patreon decision. But keeping a comedy site alive for 9 years is not easy, there are lots of potential ideas, and think overall we've done a good and honorable job. Will leave this thread in peace now to allow people their space.
Sorry for linking to Elon's hellsite (derogatory), but sources need links so...
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Househusband Caleb
AN: Everyone who bargained their first child and soul, pay up 🫴🏻 jk please enjoy! Thank you for being online strangers who make me happy.
Genre: Househusband au
Pairing: Caleb x gn reader
(I do not own these characters)
He just sort of takes a break from the fleet… and that break turns into a full-on career change. Sure, he enjoyed being a fighter pilot, but those years had been grueling, demanding both his life and his morals. He doesn’t regret it, but he doesn’t miss it, either.
The two of you never really had time to sit together, to talk, or to steal even a few peaceful moments without work pulling one of you away.
But now, he’s come to love the mornings, where he can chase you down with breakfast. Afternoons, where he surprises you at work with lunch. And evenings, when your smile blooms as you come home to him.
After a lifetime of running in all directions, he’s found joy in the quiet life. It takes him a while to figure himself out, to rediscover who he is beyond the fleet, beyond revenge. And your home gives him just that.
He integrates into the neighborhood effortlessly, the type to charm all the neighbors with homemade desserts, join kids in games of hide-and-seek, and somehow turn into the guy everyone waves at when they pass by.
And the moms love him too, he is the newest addition to their gossip session because the food he brings to the potlucks makes him an elite member. So neighborhood intel is all in his hands.
He’s not exactly your manic pixie dream boy because he was once a sad beige mom (ref his Skyheaven penthouse). Therefore, he is your pragmatic pixie dream boy.
He probably gets into something super niche, like wood carving or running a pop-up bakery stand, which eventually grows into his own small business. It gives him something to focus on, something that’s just his.
That said, he’s big on DIY. One day, you leave for work and come home to find detailed plans for a sunroom in the backyard. “I had some time,” he says, as if he didn’t just design an entire architectural expansion in a single afternoon.
Your dogs love him. He’s a big dog guy. The type who bonds with huskies, retrievers, or labs. He loved taking them on walks, so a whining huskies seems like just the challenge he needs in his cottage core life.
Weekends are a treat in your shared household. After countless failed attempts to wake up early and cook him breakfast before he’s up, you finally manage to pull it off once. And the way his eyes light up when you and the dogs walk in with the breakfast tray? Worth it.
If you’re a corporate weapon, then by all means, spoil him. Sure, he has his own money from years of service, and he’d never ask for anything. But have you seen how attached he is to that dog tag necklace? There’s no way he wouldn’t absolutely treasure everything you give him. It’s not about the price, it’s about the fact that it’s from you.
But it is the days, when you randomly bring him flowers that make him the happiest. Just a simple gesture of appreciation is deeply felt, quietly cherished, as he arranges him into the vase on your dining table.
At this point, your coworkers are used to stashing away the gifts you get delivered to the office for him, just in case he shows up for lunch.
He always makes a point to bring snacks for your colleagues, partly because he enjoys baking, and partly because it never hurts to have allies in the office. After all, someone has to keep him updated if anyone dares to hit on you.
He also makes sure to prep all your favorite snacks over the weekend because hangry you is beyond even him. He swears by an ingredient household, better believe he’s your personal Nara Smith, whipping up cookies-and-cream ice cream from scratch just because you had a craving.
Would be absolutely hilarious if you both dressed up as Nara and Lucky for Halloween. He’s Nara. Obviously.
#fluff#caleb x reader#love and deepspace#love and deepspace Caleb#househusband au#gn reader#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x headcannon#he's sweet
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Thought For The Day
A winning formula is unique to each being. Awareness, love, gratitude and joy are a few to begin with. So I wanted to share what has defined my journey living in happiness. Live in gratitude each date. There is so much to be grateful for. Talk about it and celebrate. Let love be at the base of every moment in your journey. Ask, “what would love do here” Never compare yourself to anyone else.…
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#5D#acceptance#Authentic#awareness#Blog#care#Compassion#Daily#Daily Intention#Dimensions#Emergence#Energy#Evolution#Fearless#good thoughts#greatest good#Happiness#harmony#Healing#imagination#Inner work#insight#Inspiration#Inspired Action#Integrated#Journal#Joy#Kindness#Life#Living
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Sun in Houses of Union(1585) Persona Chart
[In the chart of the asteroid Union (1585), the Sun represents the core of a person's union or partnership. It reflects how the person's individuality integrates into another's energy within the relationship. As far as a future spouse is considered, the Sun in the Union persona chart shows the circumstances or qualities of the spouse and how the person shines within the union.]
(For entertainment purpose only. Have fun❣️)


Sun in the 1st House
This is a partnership in which identity and self-expression are the pivot. They may meet their spouse through situations that put them in the spotlight or in which they were being very individual, like public speaking, performances, or any leadership role. The spouse would be charismatic and confident, and this relationship would enhance one's self-esteem and public image. Their marriage would be really vibrant and energized with mutual admiration and a shared sense of purpose.
Sun in the 2nd House
In the 2nd house, they focus on what is shared between them in values, possessions, and security. They may find their spouse through financial environments: working at a bank, an investment seminar, or while organizing and managing resources. The spouse will be down-to-earth, practical, and stabilizing-thereby adding to the person's sense of material and emotional security. They prosper through accumulating possessions, enjoying life's sensual pleasures, or simply accomplishing financial objectives.
Sun in the 3rd House
A communication, educational, or travel connection is made. They may find their mate in the classroom, a writing group, or taking local transportation. The relationship is fueled by ideas and mutual inquiry. Their mate may be particularly eloquent, witty, or be in media/teaching. They will appreciate deep discussions and may even create a partnership based on publishing or other ways of storytelling.
Sun in the 4th House
This placement accentuates emotional depth and family ties. They might find their partner through family networks, early childhood experiences, or around a place that has to do with their heritage, such as their hometown. The marriage will be very nourishing, with the emphasis on building a home together. The spouse may be that person who gives them a sense of emotional security and helps to heal past hurts.
Sun in the 5th House
Romance, creativity, and passion dominate this placement. They are likely to meet their spouse in a vibrant, creative setting like a theater, an art gallery, or during recreational activities. The relationship will feel playful and celebratory, full of joy and mutual inspiration. Their spouse may be artistically gifted or deeply passionate, bringing a sense of fun and adventure to the union.


Sun in the 6th House
The Sun in this house suggests meeting their spouse through daily routines, work, or health-related activities. They can find their partner in a workplace, at the gym, or volunteering. The spouse will be hardworking, responsible, and health-oriented, and the relationship might revolve around mutual service or shared work goals. Together, they will likely build a life with a focus on mutual support and practicality.
Sun in the 7th House
This is a classic placement for significant partnerships. They will meet their spouse in settings related to diplomacy, counseling, or even through a formal introduction. The spouse will embody the qualities of balance, charm, and fairness. This union feels destined, as it brings harmony and mutual understanding. It may also indicate that the relationship begins with a legal or contractual commitment.
Sun in the 8th House
This placement indicates an intense, profound, and life-changing relationship. They might meet their spouse under mysterious or extreme conditions, such as a research lab, during a crisis, or over shared finances or spirituality. The spouse will probably have a magnetic aura of mystery surrounding them, and the relationship will focus on intimacy, shared resources, and deep transformation. Trust and emotional vulnerability are a must.
Sun in the 9th House
This position gives much importance to traveling, education, or a philosophical approach. They may also find their spouse abroad, in a university, or in a shared interest in spirituality and travel. The spouse will likely be adventurous, optimistic, and open-minded. Together they go for new horizons, making an especial statement on mutual growth and learning.
Sun in the 10th House
With this placement, a spouse is met through career or public engagements. They could meet their future partner at a conference, while working on a professional project, or through a shared ambition. The spouse will be highly driven and probably well-recognized or respected in their field, and the union will raise each other's social status or professional success.


Sun in the 11th House
Friendship, community, or shared ideals are important. They might get introduced to their spouse by their friends, through community social gatherings, or while involved with some humanitarian project. It will feel like a friendship rooted in common goals and a vision about life. Their mate will likely be very friendly, creative, and future-focused.
Sun in the 12th House
This is a mystical and private placement. They may meet their spouse in secluded, spiritual, or healing environments-such as a retreat, hospital, or meditation center. The spouse will be deeply spiritual in nature, and the marriage will involve themes of sacrifice, forgiveness, and unconditional love. Together, they will delve into the unseen realms of the psyche and find strength in introspection.
{The exact nature of meeting their spouse depends on the interplay of aspects with other planets, particularly Venus, Mars, or Jupiter, and transits that activate the Union persona chart.}
#astro community#astro observations#astrology#astro notes#groom persona chart#briede persona chart#persona chart#composite chart#birth chart#moon in astrology#union persona chart#horoscope
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I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar
Alexia Putellas x Explorer!R
8.5k Fluff, Fun, Minor Angst

Hi Guys,
This is pt4. in the 'I Would Climb Every Mountain With You" otherwise known as Explorer!R Universe. TW: description of killing an animal.
Highly recommend you read those 3 first, as this is entrenched in lore. Pt 1 can be found here.
It's developed from an ask I received from @karsonromanoff so thank you so much for the idea! I hope I did it justice and I'm sorry for the delay and the words. ha.
This is the first time I've written since my dad died. I'm not being emo or heavy about it but I am asking to please, be kind. I know there's nice people out there but often they're drowned out by the loud haters.
So throw us a comment, like or reblog if you enjoyed. I'm just trying to get back into something that brought me joy. I know I enjoyed writing it.
Also, may be weird for a fic about a spanish gay footballer, but you probably need a good working knowledge of Bear Grylls to understand 80% of this. ha.
As has become tradition, here's the song running though my head when writing! Yes, my music taste remains to be that of someone born in 1962. God love Helen Reddy.
“Vamos Ale! I don’t like to make Miguel wait…” you shout from the kitchen, bag resting on the countertop as you try to fix your bracelet with your left hand,
“Deja de preocuparte, a él no le importa, I will be one minute…” you head called back from the bedroom where your wife had been getting dressed for 2 hours now.
Yes.
Your wife.
Sometimes you couldn’t believe it.
Sometimes the weight of the band on your finger catches you by surprise and you’d remember.
Sometimes Alexia would place her hand on your bare thigh and you could feel the cool metal on your skin and you’d remember.
Sometimes you’d get called “Mrs Putellas” at a school talk, or at the Doctors, and you’d remember.
It felt so natural that sometimes you’d forget that you weren’t always Alexia's wife.
But now you are. And had been for almost 6 months. And married life couldn’t have suited you more.
Your wedding ring was your new favourite accessory, you never took it off.
In a fire you would save Alexia and your ring.
Maybe even your ring first.
It was embossed with the imprint of grass that Alexia has been collecting from each pitch of each game she had played in since you had met. The intricate design brought tears to your eyes as soon as you saw it. Made even worse by the inscription “’cause you are my goal”.
You would be embarrassed if Alexia hadn’t cried like a toddler when you presented her with the ring you had made for her, which had rock from each of the 7 peaks you had scaled, as well as a granule of sand from the Dead Sea set within it. Integrated into the metal, visible but smooth to the touch.
The inscription 'every mountain high, every valley low' on the inside of the band.
You knew you’d done good and you knew your Ale well enough to anticipate the absolute mess she would be when presented with it, ensuring you had a pocket full of tissues for the inevitable waterfall.
You weren’t wrong.
You had to assure a passing couple on the trail you had chosen that she was fine, not having a medical incident and you were definitely not mid break-up but in fact exchanging wedding bands early because you knew your fiance well enough she didn’t need her teammates to witness this much of her soft side.
Though you tried, they still saw enough on your wedding day to tease her for the last 6 months with no sign of slowing down.
Though right now your wife's behaviour was nothing but unexpected. You had agreed to attend one of Alexia's events this evening. Since getting married you had felt more of a duty to attend and make up for the years you’d left her carrying her own handbag whilst you trotted over mountains on the other side of the world.
She insisted that you didn’t have to. Like she always did. You weren’t one for the fancy dresses and the flashing cameras. But you saw the gleam of hope in her eyes as she insisted she would be fine on her own.
You couldn’t let that sparkle dim.
Also you had to set off for a camp in a few days and you had gotten seriously stuck in the honeymoon phase meaning that an evening without your wife by your side wasn’t something you could stomach.
Not that you would admit to being so clingy.
But it wasn’t like Ale to take so long to get ready, neither of you being particularly fussy, usually she would throw on some light makeup, smack your bum whilst you ate nutella off a knife under the hob light, procrastinating getting ready until she dragged you and dropped you into the ensuite, steal a kiss and a spray of perfume, and wait for you whilst watching old football clips in the living room.
But now, as you still struggled to attach the clasp of your bracelet and you had one eye on the poor Barca driver, Miguel, waiting in your driveway, you started to grow frustrated at your wife's sudden vanity.
You smelt her perfume invading your senses as you felt her arms envelope you from behind, moving your uncoordinated left hand away and easily attaching the clasp of your bracelet for you, pressing a kiss to your neck as she did so.
“Finalmente… Let’s g-...” you spoke as you turned in her embrace, finally taking in her attire which stopped you in your tracks.
“Boobs”
You had suddenly turned into a 14 year old boy and you couldn’t explain it.
You had seen your wife naked hundreds of times.
Hundreds of fantastic times.
But here she stood looking, regal. Her hair falling lightly over her face, her dark sparkly dress with wide shoulders and only what you could describe as a boob portal you had been rendered speechless. Mouth gaping open like a fish.
“...Amor?...” you heard the delight in her voice. “Are you listening to me… my eyes are up here.” she jokingly clicked her fingers in front of your face which took you out of your breast-inspired trance.
“Ale you are so beautiful” you looked deeply into her eyes but you didn’t miss the blush rising from her neck. And you meant it. She was. Wow.
“Do you like it?” she asked, shyly, “You don’t think it’s too much? It’s just the first event we’ve gone to together since we got married and I wanted to…”
You interrupt her but pressing a kiss to her lips, and, well, if you slipped a little tongue in there then fine. She was your wife after all.
“What? Show the world what they're missing out on? I am so proud to stand by your side, my love.” you whispered into her lips, as you toyed with her wedding band.
You couldn’t help yourself…”and your boobs are fantastic.”
She barked out a laugh as you leaned back into where you left off, but she took a step back, her heel clicking against the tile floor, to which you let out an annoyed grumble.
“Oi Oi, Mi Amor. What about poor Miguel, he is waiting, Si?” she teased.
“He doesn’t care… Cálla y bésame.”
—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You took a deep breath and leaned back on your chair at the round table you found yourself at. Alexia had been pulled from your side which she had stuck to like glue all evening, to go and present the final award of the evening which she had just done, very sexily if you do say so yourself. All confident and boob-y.
You smiled, imagining her now making small talk backstage, eyes bored but a smile plastered on her face as she tried to make her way back to your table.
Your other table-mates seemed to take the opportunity of the break in the ceremony to raid the free bar put on by the charity. Which seemed very uncharitable of them. But, as you toyed with the rim of your glass, who were you to judge?
Stomach full from a mediocre-mass produced meal and head happily fuzzy from the bubbles you had consumed you found yourself oddly satisfied as you sat here. In this conference room-turned auditorium in the middle of Barcelona, here, loudly and proudly as Alexia's wife.
Mrs Putellas.
You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, you felt weirdly grown-up. With your wife, your house, and your business. You blinked and missed yourself becoming so settled and for once in your life you weren’t terrified of the idea.
You saw the glint in Alexia's eye. When Irene and her wife would come round for dinner and bring their kid. She’d surrender all hostess duties and sit on the living room floor, crawling around at the beck and call of whatever imaginary game the 5 year old insisted on. You’d seen her perfect her lion roar in that very spot. It probably matched the glint in yours when you were grocery shopping and a child being pushed in a trolley would go past shoving cookies into the trolley without their Mother seeing.
Maybe, you thought, maybe it was time…
“It is you! I am so sorry to interrupt. I had to come over to introduce myself. I am such a fan…”
You glanced around, expecting Alexia to be standing over your shoulder and smiling politely at the person who had approached your table to meet her… but you were met with blank space and then you engaged your silly brain and realised the person was speaking English and looking at you and…
Oh My God.
It’s Bear Grylls.
“Oh My God. You’re Bear Grylls.”
You let out.
Stupidly.
Standing and thrusting your hand out like an idiot to your legitimate childhood hero.
You and your brother would watch his series for hours as children. Sat cross-legged 2 inches from the TV on your living room floor, eating up every second of his adventures. Your mum had to stop you from eating a woodlouse once in your garden because you’d seen him eat a cricket in the Amazon the evening before. Your brother smacked upside the head for trying to drink a cup of his own wee for the same reason.
Now you were a well-seasoned adventurer yourself you knew that all of that was for theatricks.
You had spent more than 7 weeks wandering the Amazon yourself once, and not one drop of urine passed your lips. Not one 8 legged insect had you gulped down in one.
But still.
Hero.
He took your hand graciously, as you both sat back down you prepared to barrage him with questions but before you could he jumped right in…
“I have been wanting to meet you for years. But my team said you had disappeared off to Spain and couldn’t be tracked down. Please, I've been desperate to know. .. Tell me all about summiting Orjas del Salado…”
So you told him, and you asked him about his adventures, and you chatted for what could have been hours, sharing stories and advice with Bear-fucking-Grylls.
He blushed as you pointed out his for-TV tricks and you thanked him for being a portal into the wider world from your living room.
At some point you felt Alexia return, a strong hand on your shoulder. You paused your monologue about Patagonia and giddily took her hand in yours, introducing them to each other.
Polite pleasantries exchanged you could tell she had legitimately no idea what was going on or who this middle-aged English guy at your table was, but judging from your excited eyes, she didn’t need to interrupt.
It didn’t take too long for someone from his team to pull him away for an interview with the charity. But as you stood to say your goodbyes he made an offer, “You know, me and the production company are making a special about survival in the Alps… I would love for you to be a guest star.”
You stood there like a gaping fish for a moment. “Really?” you asked, in wonder, your 7 year old self spinning around in glee in your chest. Alexia smiling up at you from her chair at the joy in your voice.
“Of course! I would be honored, it’s especially about how to survive in an Avalanche situation. Obviously, with what happened in Nepal…you are an expert in that fie…”
At that point, Alexia stopped her polite silence she had been maintaining whilst you had your moment with your childhood hero. And abruptly stood, clutching your hand hard in both of hers, stern look on her face.
“No.”
From the look on his face you gathered that this successful upper-middle class white English man had not been told no too often, and a beat of silence followed which Alexia was more than happy to fill.
“Sorry Señor Oso. She doesn’t do snow now. Thank you for the offer though.”
She said it with such finality that even you didn’t think to question it. Her mis-translation brought a smile to your face. Her hands still encompassed yours, her eyes didn’t leave his face. As though daring him to rebuff her.
He looked at you as though to confirm she could answer for you. Of course she could. But you knew this refusal wasn’t just about you, but about her also. You knew the anxiety it would cause her for you to put yourself in that situation wasn’t worth anything on this planet.
Nevermind the trauma it would dredge up for you. So obviously, you agreed.
“Sorry Mr Grylls. Not my rodeo anymore. I’ve got some contacts though who you could work with” you politely confirmed your refusal and felt Alexias hands lessen their grip on yours in relief.
“No, no, of course. Sorry. But no. I would really love for you to be involved in the series. We have an episode about promoting women in outdoor pursuits. It's still on the drawing board, but if you are interested I’ll get our people to liaise with each other!”
“That sounds amazing but… I don’t have any people for you to…”
“Don’t be silly Mi Amor” Alexia interrupts again, hand still in yours and the other expertly reaching into her clutch and pushing a card into his outstretched hand… “We have people. Please, Oso, be in touch.”
Smiling vaguely and confusedly at your wife, still clearly mildly terrified of her, he takes the card as he's dragged away by his handler. He's probably still in hearing distance as you squeal in glee and throw yourself into your wife's arms, making her spin with the momentum.
“Ale, Ale, Ale!!! Do you know who that was….” you exclaim.
She can’t help but laugh aloud at your antics, soft look on her face as she lifts you lightly off the ground to stop your spin.
“Si Mi Amor, ese era el hombre oso de la televisión. Tu favorito.” she replies with a smile on her face, speaking softly, somehow, in the middle of this event where she was the guest star, making you feel as though you were the only person in the universe.
“No.” you corrected “..eres mi favorito.” You sealed your words with a light kiss to her lips, chaste but warm.
“Ah, Si. And you have had some wine. You always get soft after wine.” she lightly rolls her eyes with affection at your gushing over her.
It’s your turn to roll your eyes as you pull her into a soft sway, your childhood hero quickly forgotten now you’re in the company of your wife.
Though the giddiness in your bones from your encounter remains.
“Si the wine.” you agree moving your lips close to her ear as you whisper, breath dancing against her cheek, your hand moves to her chest and you feel her breath falter at your closeness,
“but also your boobs.” and you quickly poke her exposed chest between her breasts before she can stop you, and you move away from her pulling her behind you as you rush off to the bar.
“Amor!” she cackles.
“Vamos Ale! A La Barra!”
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Estoy Muerta.”
You grumble in complaint into the chest of the warm and moving pillow that you had clearly settled on in the night.
“Shh Ale.”
“Me estoy muriendo y a mi esposa no le importa.”
“You are not dying Ale. You are hungover and over 30”, you mumble in reply, moving away from resting on her chest, the heat becoming too much for your own fuzzy brain.
“Explain to me how that is different.” she doesn’t take kindly to your light chuckle in reply, as you move your hand to cover your eyes from the sunlight starting to bleed through the curtains.
You peek an eye open and see the remnants of your previous night strewn across the bedroom floor.
You take in the glorious dress of your wifes thrown across your chest of drawers. You recall unzipping it with your mouth after making very good use of the boob portal. Much to Alexia's delight.
You had probably taken it a little bit too far at the bar. Your giddiness let your binge-drinking brit out a little too much.
You had a flash of memory at dancing on a table at a dive bar in the town centre, before being brought down by Alba who you had called and demanded come and dance the night away.
Meanwhile Alexia had been in the corner trying to drunkenly explain to Mapi a set of complicated tactics that they should try out at an additional training session in the morning.
“I thought you had scheduled extra training today Ale” you teased after taking in her pasty complexion as you rolled over and settled back down onto your, cooler, side of the bed.
“I hate you.” she replied, quite seriously, as she moulded herself against your back, taking your hand in hers and burying her face into the back of your neck.
“Of course you do, dear, it feels like it.” you tease again, wiggling yourself and making her grumble again.
You rest there for a few moments, before you’re dragged onto your back again and pulled into Alexia's embrace as she moves you around like her own personal teddy bear.
You go with the flow, quite used to your wife's clingy nature, especially when she didn't feel well.
But your silence doesn’t last two minutes before she rolls you over again, now onto your back, “Oh bloody hell, where are we going now.” you mumble, as she rests her head on your chest this time, nuzzling into your breasts.
“me estoy poniendo cómodo.” she mutters into your bosom, “allá. ahora estoy cómodo”. You run your hands through her hair, smiling down at your wife who is practically purring at the attention.
“Bebé…”, you make a noise of affirmation.
“Will you…” you know what she wants, and you know she must be feeling bad if she’s asking for attention.
“Si, my love. voy a trenzar tu cabello. One big plait or lots of little ones?”.
“The tingly ones por favor” she mumbles into your chest. Your heart expands at her adorableness, never quite learning the English for ‘french plait’ they became known as the ‘tingly ones’ in your household, because of the feeling she would get as you plaited her wet hair after a game, hands working through her scalp.
It brings a smile to your face and you can see the lovesick smile on hers where it is squished against your chest.
You start to section out her hair as she lies still, your ministrations slowly putting her to sleep, working methodically in the quiet morning.
Moving strand over strand in intricate braids, lightly tugging her scalp and undoing when it's not perfect and redoing, giving her an extra scratch to the soft skin behind her ear when you get there, knowing it's her most sensitive spot. Receiving a sleepy purr in satisfaction as your reward.
You hear the animals from the national park outside, feel the sun starting to warm the room around you. Her chest rising and falling against yours hypnotising you further into the moment. You’ve got grand plans, brunch and a walk along the beach in your mind, maybe a lazy afternoon swim, hold on no. Maybe a lazy afternoon skinny dip. Yeah.
That sounds good.
You’ve almost finished tying off the last plait when you are startled back into the moment by the buzzing of your wifes phone on the bedslide table.
You fight back a smile at the groan that is emitted from your fully grown-pro-athlete-wife. It resembled that of a teenager who’d been asked to clean their room or no dessert. When she doesn’t go to make a move you nudge her shoulder.
“Ale. Ale, your phone."
“No.”
“Yes."
“No."
“C'mon Ale.” you reach across and pick the phone up. “It could be important. It could be your secret wife wondering where you are.”
She rolls off you at your tease, throwing you a glare that resembles more of an angry kitten than anything, “It could not be, she knows where I am. I snuck out whilst you were dancing on the tables in that last bar to make plans for dinner.”
“Ah, Si of course. My mistake.”
She surges up and gives you a completely unnecessary chaste kiss, as though even the joke is too much and she has to confirm she’s kidding. The phone has stopped vibrating against the bedside table and the silence that settles over you both is welcome.
“How are you so okay? I feel like I have been run over by a truck.” she states as she rubs her face, finally sitting up to start the day.
“You are old.
“I am 2 months older than you.”
“Two, very long, months my darling.” you tap her cheek lightly as you move to get out of bed, throwing on one of her oversized t-shirts you find on the floor.
“Seria, how?” she asks again, now sprawling across the space you have vacated.
“I am English. I once did a vodka shot through my eyeball in the park. I was 14.” you state, plainley, eyebrow raised in challenge as she just looks at you, open mouthed.
“Ojalá no hubiera preguntado.” she mutters, as her phone starts to ring again.
“Ale, phone.” you say, just to annoy her.
“¡lo sé!” you hear thrown at you, as you head downstairs to set some food out for Billy-the-Goat, and make a coffee for your dying wife.
Soon after, you feel her presence behind you as you stir her coffee, turning as you feel her hands wrap around your waist and presenting her coffee and she takes it from you as though it's a ballon d’or. She takes a sip before she presses a kiss to your head.
“That was my agent.”
Your heart drops, and you can’t help the petulant whine that leaves your lips.
“No, Ale! I wanted to spend the day together. Try that new brunch place Alba told us about. Have a swim, just be together. Whatever brand needs you can wait. Tell them no, please” you finish your little monologue with a pout, and you feel a childish frustration rise as a laugh teases against her lips. You don’t get very far when a kiss is pressed against your lips.
“Well that sounds like the perfect hangover cure Mi Amor. Do you not want me to tell you what it is before I tell them no though?” there's something in her taunt, a glint in the eye that makes you think twice as your mouth already wraps around the refusal.
You take a moment too long apparently, and she takes things into her own hands as she clutches her coffee happily and spins around, “I’ll tell them no! Don’t worry Mi Amor…” teasing lilt in her tone. Whatever the news is, it has pulled her from her hangover.
You wait a beat
Another.
“Fine, What is it!” you groan out in defeat, hands raised to the sky, Alexias t-shirt riding high on your thighs as you raise your arms.
Your wife turns and is distracted momentarily by the flesh on display. Before you cough and she remembers what she's supposed to be doing. Coy smile on her face returning.
“That was my agent…” you huff out at her drawing out the anticipation. “Or should I say our agent.” your brow furrows in confusion as she continues… “she has been contacted by a muy interesado oso.”
Realisation starts to dawn on you, memories of the previous night flashing in your mind and you can’t help the grin that forms.
“Si, Mi Amor. It turns out he really meant it. She said they were willing to offer anything to get you on. She’s getting the details now and will contact us again after our day together today to see if you are interested”.
“I am interested!” you exclaim with glee, Alexia throwing her head back in laughter.
“I know Amor, but let's let them sell it to you. You need the details. Though… I am sure it is no more dangerous than ojos de vodka.”
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Hola, love!” you shout into your empty hallway, hands full of groceries, you shuck off your trainers, hearing them thump against the wall as you struggle into the kitchen.
Tonight was the premiere of “Man Vs Woman” , the special episode of your and Bear's adventure. After the offer was made you met with the TV production company via Zoom to go through ideas.
You pretended you didn’t know Alexia was standing just outside the door to your study, listening and clearly deciding if she thought it was too dangerous or not. At least that's what you deduced from her interrupting with a cup of tea every time a particularly hairy idea was mentioned.
When you brought this up with her you pretended you didn't see her blush creeping up from her neck. Because you’re her wife and it was the wifely thing to do.
The concept was a really cool one. You were excited from the start. The idea was that you and Bear would both be dropped in an inhospitable environment with a map and a knife and nothing else. Neither of you would be told what type of environment but you had assurances in your contract that it wouldn’t involve snow. You had 28 days to get to the muster point. Whoever got there first won.
Simple.
Convincing Alexia it was really cool. Less simple.
“Amor what if there are animals!”
“I know how to avoid dangerous animals. And there will be a medical team on standby,”
“What if you fall and cut yourself on your knife."
“What if you get tackled and break your leg?”
“That's different. What if you lose your map and can’t find your way out and you have to live out there forever”
“I will always find my way back to you.”
“What If-”
“Ale.”
You stopped her rambling with a kiss and when you pulled away you looked deeply in her eyes.
“Que pasa I miss you too much?” eyes wide and vulnerable.
There we go. Her real source of anxiety.
You had spent more time apart than most couples but since you scaled down your travels you had fallen into a sweet domesticity you could admit was a struggle to pull yourself from. 28 days plus the week before to get to the location is longer than you’d like. But it was an adventure of a lifetime. Maybe… maybe your last adventure? The thoughts had been creeping in more and more recently.
Of early mornings chasing more than sunrises, maybe rising due to a baby's babble instead?
You’d made sure that Alexia really knew how much you’d miss her the night before you flew out. On reflection maybe you should have rested your muscles a little more before such a physically demanding month but. Be serious. Look who your wife was.
You are not God's strongest soldier.
So, off you had gone. Competing against your childhood hero for all of womanhood. And you couldn’t lie. You loved it.
Being blindfolded and dropped in an unknown location was exhilarating. Learning the land as you went, with only a map and a knife in hand it was one of the biggest challenges of your life.
The team had made good on their promise and the tropical rainforest you were in couldn’t be further from a snowy mountain range.
You’d refused to let anything slip to Alexia in the 3 months you’d been back. Lips tightly sealed no matter what she tried. You wanted her to be surprised and watch it in real time with you. In all the games you'd attended since you had to deal with an injured Mapi yapping your ear off whilst you tried to concentrate on the game, probing for hints about if you won, what you won, where you were, if you wrestled a snake, how big was the snake you’d wrestled.
“Maria stop with the snake!” you’d finally snapped during the tense quarter final of the Queen's cup.
Which had worked.
For all of two seconds.
“What did the snake taste like?”
You’d originally planned to go home to England with Alexia to watch the premier with your family. But then a schedule mess-up in the league had meant that Ale had to play in a rescheduled game the day after the premier. It just didn’t work for her to come to England.
She insisted you still go, but you refused. You wanted to watch her game. And you knew she’d need you when the show was on. Even if she didn’t know that yet.
You started to unpack your groceries mindlessly, you’d picked some great snacks for the evenings viewing, you suddenly were hit with how suspiciously peaceful your house was, though, you were sure you’d seen Alexia's car in the drive.
“Ale! Love!, ¡Estoy en casa! Come help me unpack!” You shouted into your empty kitchen, back turned to your living room, you had a few hours before the show was on air, “I got that ice-cream you like! I know it gives you a tummy ache sometimes but don’t worry, I'll rub your tummy how you like afte…”
“Amor!”
You turned around at the panic in her voice, “Wha–”
“SURPRISE!”
Ale stood in your living area, face reddening, surrounded by her closest Barca teammates as well as Mario, his ever pregnant wife and his kids, your mum and brother as well as Eli and Alba. Everyone comically in paper party hats and some lop-sided bunting was up above your couch,
“HOPE YOU BEAT THE BEAR SNAKE!” it read, and you immediately knew who was on the decoration committee.
You jumped in surprise, dropping the ice cream and immediately ran into your mum's open arms, “Mum! You’re here!” you squealed into her neck, hiding the tears that had appeared in her presence.
“I am, love. Alexia literally wouldn’t let us refuse the flight. She pretended she didn’t understand English when we tried to at least pay for it. And you know I have a 265 day streak on duolingo but my accent must need work because she didn’t understand my Spanish.”
You pulled yourself from her neck with a wet laugh and transferred yourself into your wifes open and familiar strong arms. “Aleeee” you whined. She knew you meant thank you. And I love you. And you mean the world to me. But you were too British to do that infront of people.
“You need to stop pretending you don’t speak English when you don’t like what you hear.” you muttered without malice after placing a kiss below her ear.
“I know amor. I love you too. And your family needed to be here for your big moment! You couldn’t miss this with them because of me. And then also. Mapi happened and now we’re having a viewing party! There's a cake!”
“And Ice Cream Ale! Don’t worry, I’ve saved it! Though we don’t want your barriga to hu-” Mapi stands the space you'd just vacated holding up the abandoned and slightly battered carton of ice cream. She's stopped from her gleeful teasing by Ingrid covering her entire face with one big palm.
“We wanted to be here to support you.” Ingrid interrupted her girlfriend, addressing you kindly.
“We all did!” you hear from Alba in the back, already tucking into the buffet set up on the coffee table, paper hat skew-whiff on her head. You have never felt so loved. It was perfect.
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“So, when are you going to tell her you’re ready for them?”
You are brought out of your daydream by Ingrid sidling up to you and addressing you with her familiar soft lilt.
“Huh?”
She doesn’t reply vocally, just nods her head towards your wife, who is currently having a very intense game of 2v2 in your garden with 2 of Marios youngest and Mapi.
The kids little legs making them toddle around after the small ball adorably, Mapi and Ale giving soft touches they would easily catch up with.
You can’t help but laugh out loud as Ale takes Mapi by surprise and takes a shot against her hard, the ball catching her bare thigh in a manner which must have left a sting much to the small Spaniard's disdain.
Her and the two kids start to chase Alexia around the garden, dramatically tackling her as she suddenly becomes some sort of football monster, rolling around and blowing raspberries on their stomachs as Mapi cheers her toddler army on from the sidelines.
You feel another knock against your arm, dislodging your hand which is supporting your head as you lean over the breakfast bar facing the garden. Lovesick looks clearly on your face, going off Ingrid's coy smile.
“You know, barn. Kids. Munchkins…”
“Yeah, Yeah I get it Ingrid…” you steal another look outside at your more-often-than-not-stern wife getting grass stains on her comfy shorts for the entertainment of your best friends' kids, suddenly you feel like being really really honest. You turn to Ingrid with a shy smile of your own, “soon.”
Her face lights up, teeth on display unable to disguise her smile. “Yeah?” she asks, before turning to look towards the garden, “Me too.”
You smile to yourself and drop your head onto the dark haired girl's shoulder, you both taking a moment to watch your partners play with the kids. The moment is ruined by your mum mussing up your hair on her way past,
“Come on Love, we need to wrangle these last-minute spaniards, it starts in 10 minutes!”
She had a point to be fair. A very chaotic 8 minutes later you practically push Eli into her seat on the couch after she tries to get another plate full of food for Mario’s wife, “¡Está llena de Eli! ella esta embarazada no tiene hambre!” you cheekily remind her, your wife looking up at you from her place on the floor with tender eyes.
“And you…” you turn your attention towards her as you make your way to your seat, “get up here.” you demand, patting the empty space next to you.
“I’m bueno down here Mi Amor, me and Bruno can watch from down here.” she insists. the 4 year old of Marios nestled on her stomach, her arms wrapped around his sleeping form where he attached himself to her after being forced back inside.
You hesitate for a moment, not watching to make a scene or be too needy in front of all your closest family and friends, but you knew that Ale would need to be within touching distance of you in the next hour.
You’re about to make your peace with it when Mario glaces your way. You and Mario have worked together for years. Years before you met Ale and the girls.
You’ve battled more than just bears together. Weeks spent isolated in the mountains. And a bond like that means that you can communicate with just a look.
With just that glance he’s up and pulling his toddler into his own burley arms. Bruno remaining in his deep sleep through the change.
“I’ve got el monstruo Ale. Go sit with your wife."
She doesn’t need any more direction, the small interaction is subtle and missed by everyone, except your brother who sends you an exaggerated puppy dog look.
“Fuck off” you throw at him, finger in the air, quickly grabbed by Alexia, “Hey, I thought you wanted me to sit here!” she teases, sending your brother a wink.
“Stop ganging up on me…!” you’re about to protest further before you’re shushed by Mapi, of all people, sitting on the floor between Ingrid's legs who sits on the couch above her. “It's about to start!”
She has a point, a familiar British accent fills the living room, Spanish subtitles appearing on the bottom of the screen for the Spanish contingent. Bear’s voice is as dramatic as ever, long sweeping scenes fill the screen of intense jungle, a crocodile and an action shot of a snake thrown in for good measure.
“Serpiente!” Mapi shouts, pointing at the screen, before Ingrid hushes her and pulls her back against her legs.
“We all know by now that humans are masters of the jungle. But the unanswered question remains. Is it the King, or Queen of the Jungle? Find out tonight in Man V Woman.”
The title fills the screen with a dramatic crescendo of music. Your friends and family whooping as though it's the champions league final. Alexia barely contains her excitement next to you. You had been steadfast in your refusal to tell anyone the outcome.
The next shot is a recognisable one, the sound of trees being hacked with a machete accompanies a close up of a muddy puddle set deep in the jungle, until the water is disturbed by a ever-familiar battered boot stomping in the puddle, blaugrana laces pulled tight, as proudly as ever.
This prompts another wild round of jeering from the crowd around you as the camera pans out and reveals your full profile as Alexia places a loving kiss onto your shoulder, “That's my wife!” she shouts, proudly, making you laugh.
Bear's voice over continues as you pull Alexia's hand into yours, half pulling her on top of you, she gives you a peculiar look, this being more PDA than you would usually allow in front of your English family, but she goes with it, too full of pride to be worried otherwise.
As the voiceover continues, highlights of your career flash across the screen to introduce you to the audience.
Mountains in Peru, Arctic Explorations, Treks across Siberia, all flash across the screen, mixed in with childhood pictures your mum must have supplied painting a picture of your career so far and your expertise in your career.
The music turns more dramatic as you shift uncomfortably, being the only one to realise in the room what's about to happen.
A picture of you smiling with Arjan at the peak of Everest, ice picks raised proudly in the air. You feel Alexia stiffen on your lap, ever so subtly. Stock footage of snow hurling down a mountain as Bear describes the avalanche you got trapped in.
He gives out stats and figures to heighten the drama… “your chance of survival drops 3% every minute you are trapped after the first 15 minutes… being trapped for 2 days… our guest star did the unthinkable…”
The room is bathed in a white light as the screen changes. Camera shaky and audio changing to the shouts and heavy breaths of whoever the body worn camera is strapped too. “Yahām̐, Yahām̐, she is here!”
The camera catches Arjan digging desperately, it's clear now the camera is strapped to a rescuer on the slopes of Everest, the TV production company having access to the footage through a sister company who were filming a documentary about altitude rescue at the time.
It shakes as the man helps dig, grunts of exertion as the spade digs desperately. A flash of colour and your snow suit is revealed, face pressed up against the rock you had found shelter near.
Arjan clears snow from your face desperately and puts his head close to yours, “She’s breathing!” he pulls you up and your hand, satellite phone frozen in place, falls from the side of your ghostly white face as the camera fades out.
The whole segment couldn’t have lasted more than 32 seconds. But it had felt like time had slowed. You could feel from her placement on you that Alexia hadn’t taken a breath. Her eyes remained wide as she stared at the screen.
There was a heaviness in the room around you.
The voiceover continued, explaining the challenge to the audience but the silence continued. Eli glances at her daughter worriedly, every few seconds.
Just as you thought the tension couldn’t get any more intense… “That's what Alexia looks like when she visits England for Christmas and mum won’t let us put the heating on.” your brother jokes, awkwardly, a crooked smile on his boyish face.
The room is silent, your mum hiding a smile behind a hand only you notice. He goes to speak again, probably to apologise when-
Alexias' laugh shocks even you, bubbling up from deep within her chest. She closes her eyes, a stray tear escaping at the pressure. Laugh still rumbling deep in her chest, slowly the room joins in, as though they’ve been given permission, and soon your in a choir of laughing spectators, your brother blushing deep red at the attention.
“Thank you” you mouth to him across the room, as you wrap your hands around your wife, whos body still shakes with the odd giggle.
He tips an imaginary hat at you in return.
Because he is an idiot.
The challenge begins, unhelpfully, with you throwing yourself out of a helicopter into the rainforest, “Oh Dios Mio” she mumbles, heard subtly under Mapis, “Cool!”.
You press your lips against her shoulder again and mutter into her skin; “I am here, I am warm, I am Safe.” Like a mantra, you feel her nod and grip your hand tighter.
The thing about being in the environment completely opposite to an avalanche inducing mountain range, was that it was hot. Hot and wet. The camera follows both you and Bear as you struggle through the elements seperatly, deciding when to camp down and preserve energy and when to try to gain more miles.
Bear goes hard, and Mapi looks up at you aghast as you decide to build a shelter and bunker down for seven days straight. The heat zapping any energy you had.
“What are you doing! It's a race!” she exclaims, to which you laugh and zip your mouth closed with your fingers, cocking an eyebrow at her as she eagerly looks back towards the TV like a small child.
You spend two days collecting water and, seemingly, according to Mapi, wasting time cutting palm leaves and collecting bark to make twine. Meanwhile Bear is hacking down trees, making spears out of sticks and rock and throwing himself at seemingly anything that would give him a bit of protein on the move.
You’ve ridden yourself of most of your clothing due to the heat. Smothering yourself in mud from the riverbank you were camped next to, you explain to the camera its sun-cream qualities and how it’s safer than clothing as it also protects you from dehydration.
All the while you weave and weave and weave your leaves together, quietly, assuredly.
You explain to the camera; “I am a master weaver. My wife likes it when I plait her hair. Alot. She’s cute. Sorry Ale.” you wink at the camera as your wife groans on your lap and her teammates start to tease her, “Amor! Why!”
“Now. Let's see how this works!” you grin and pull up a large basket to the camera.
The screen shows you scantily dressed, boots safely on a rock in the background, in the river, moving twigs into position to make a run for the fish to swim directly into your basket.
You explain the contraception, set some bait and say your goodnights to the camera, crossing your fingers for a full basket in the morning.
Cheerful music begins as the camera fades back into your campfire, fish on a stick roasting and cooking heavenly, your muddied but smiling face coming into view.
“Bear can eat his roaches and drink his wee. I’ll be here with my fish buffet!” You joke, under your shelter, camera panning to tens of fish in your basket waiting to be smoked.
The next scene shows Bear explaining the protein benefits and the unusual flavours of a witchetty grub as he struggles against the rainstorm.
The music begins to ramp up. Graphics on the screen showing both of your progress. Bear has made much more progress than you. But struggling physically. He’s developed a terrible case of trench foot but was still making steady progress with his machete.
You chose to travel up the river. Walking along its bed you are able to make more direct progress, but it’s more energy draining wading through water. You have, however, had a relatively strong diet over the last 3 weeks.
You’re sitting on the river bed, tending to your basket of smoked fish you’re carrying with you for energy when you suddenly remain completely stock still. Dramatic music begins. Your head raises subtly and then out of nowhere.
“Serpentine!”
A snake strikes at you from the shallows, clearly after your basket, or you, or whatever it can get its fangs in. You react quickly, crouching down to your knees, keeping a low centre of gravity to keep your balance as your right hand reaches into the shallows.
You and the snake strike at the same time, and you throw yourself to the side as you bash a jagged rock against its head.
The next scene shows you taking a mouthful of grilled snake; “Tastes like chicken!” you joke at the camera. Before popping a piece of charred snake skin into your mouth.
You feel Alexia shudder in your arms.
"I'm never kissing you again" she lies.
Mapi slowly turns around, mouth agape, gobsmacked look on her face. “Snake!” she whispers, in disbelief. “You beat a snake!” You can’t help but laugh and lean over to turn her head back to the TV.
“Told you you’d find everything out tonta.”
The map on screen shows the last day of the challenge, Bear's voice over explaining distances to the muster points, as well as geographical challenges. The screen swaps quickly between the two of you, running, climbing and swimming to where you both believed the finish line to be.
You were making good progress, as was Bear.
A close up of a Brazilian flag on the edge of a waterfall.
A close up of you throwing yourself into the river.
Bear gripping a cliff edge and heaving himself up. The camera shows the bottom of the flag pole as he pulls himself up. The camera pans up. And the flagpole is bare.
The screen changes to you.
Standing, still relatively scantily clad in your battered boots, your hiking shorts cut down to short-shorts and thin vest muddied and holey, fish blood staining your arms,holding the flag proudly up in one arm.
The room around you erupts. “She did it!” “¡Jefe de la Jungla!!!!” “I always knew!”, “She killed a snake!”. You find yourself at the bottom of a pile of bodies as Alexia's teammates celebrate in the way they know how. Which is apparently to throw themselves at you in a pile up.
“That's my wife!” Alexia chants proudly from within the pile, laughing gleefully, all earlier angst forgotten.
The screen goes blank, and the image shows you and Bear embracing, laughing as the voiceover continues; “... at least this time. It's a Queen of the jungle… or should I say. La Reina de la Jungla.” Bear quips, as Alexia groans, forever hating her nickname, and the screen cuts to black.
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It’s hours later, many more plates of food, celebration toasts and questions from Mapi about the snake later. That you're finally in the quiet of your bedroom in your wife's arms.
Your mum and brother are set up in the spare rooms and you have all got plans to meet up with the Alexias family at the game tomorrow before going out for a meal.
Your head is settled on her chest as she plays on her phone above you, struggling to calm down from the evening's events, and as usual, struggling to sleep before a game. You play with her wedding ring on her spare hand. Feeling the cool metal beneath against her warm skin.
You feel her swipe furiously through her phone, getting more agitated as time passes, grumbles that are not-quite words emitting from her chest.
“Hey. Love.” you sit up and pull her phone away. “What's the matter?”
“Nothing.” she replies, bottom lip out in a pout, pulling her phone back into her hand.
“It’s not nothing. Tell me.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Alexia.” you sigh, “We aren't doing this.. What's got you so…” you look down onto her phone and see. Yourself? It's her tiktok open and you see an edit of the show being played over… “Hot Stuff? Ale. What's this?” you glance at the comments section and see a selection from seemingly anon accounts;
‘I have never understood Alexia more’, ‘I wonder who calls who capi.’ ,‘Capi, your wife's thighs are bigger than yours’.
“Nothing!” she grabs her phone back from your grip… you arch an eyebrow at her which crumbles her resolve in 3…2…
“Fine! It's all over my TikTok. The comments about you. The fans have made these edits. Of you! All, wet and… muscley and… nearly undressed.”
“And you…don’t… like me wet, and muscled and… naked? Cause, love, I have evidenced otherwis…”
“Shut up! Of course I do but you're mine!”
Oh. Realisation dawns on you and you can’t help but smile.
“Don’t laugh!” she grumbles. “You’re jealous….” you tease in a sing-song voice. “I am not jealous!” she insists, “It's just… tu eres mio! And these people are all looking at you”.
“I am,” you agree, with a smile. “But, love. Try being married to Alexia Putellas. Maybe you’ll keep your shirt on at games now.” you tease, making her smile and roll her eyes.
Eyes softening as you pull her phone from her grip and plug it in for her. Settling back into her chest, nuzzling against the warm skin you find there.
“I am so proud of you.” she whispers into the now dark room, placing a kiss on your head. The moment became more serious and tender.
“I love you” you reply, softly, the moment feels weighted, and you’re not sure what makes you do it. Maybe it's the adrenaline of the evening, having completed your life's ambition, or maybe it's the wine you drank.
Though, really, you know it's because of the images of your lanky wife curling herself onto the rug in the living room because Bruno had decided she was the world's best pillow again. But you can’t stop yourself.
“Ale. I want to have kids with you.”
Her hand stops its movement in your hair and she rushes over to turn the bedside lamp back on.
“Que?” she breathes out. Hands finding their place softly on your cheeks, a look of urgency in her eyes.
“I want us to have kids. Me and you. I want that with you. Is that something you’re ready for?” you whisper, eyes looking deeply into hers.
“En serio?” she asks, as though she's afraid of the answer.
You nod in response. Moving your hand to wipe away the tears that have appeared on her cheeks.
“Sí, Mi Amor. Quiero eso contigo. Mucho.”
You're both smiling too much to kiss, but you make a good go of it anyway. And as you bury yourself into your wife's arms. Hands roaming and adrenaline of a decision made rushing through your body you can't help but think.
This is the beginning of the biggest adventure of your life.
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