#intra-disordered

[kaboom--bitch]

Anyway, shoutout to all headmates who are intra-disordered or who have intra-disabilities (having a disorder/disability that the collective/body doesn't have). Whether it's physical, mental, or something else, you deserve space and accomodation. Whether you're intra-deaf or have intra-ADHD or intra-tourette's, you're loved and appreciated and deserve to be able to talk about your experiences.

You're as deserving of support as anyone else. You're not fake just because the body doesn't have your disorder. Headmates with disabilities separate from the collective are scientifically documented in DID, you're not alone even if it feels isolating. I wish you all many easy, good low-symptom days to come.

[interstellarsystem]

Disorder Differences in Systemmates

Systemmates share the same brain, which often leads to the assumption that they're all affected the same by the brain itself. Its wiring, its abilities, and its disabilities. But symptom holders or those with intra-disorders are fairly common--at least in circles we run in--and they're not often talked about for fear of fakeclaiming or appearing ableist. We have headmates who are affected in all sorts of different ways by our disabilities. Some find things harder than others, while others actually find some tasks or symptoms easier to manage. It absolutely varies from headmate to headmate, which makes certain headmates better suited for fronting during certain times than others.

Merlin is more affected by our psychosis, particularly hallucinations, and xe tends to be more susceptible to paranoia. Mystery is a psychosis holder too, and has more positive symptoms like hallucinations than the rest of us, but is less affected negatively by it. It often hallucinates and falls into delusional thinking, but it's not really too bothered by it. So Mystery is a good choice for someone to front when we're having a psychotic episode. Sometimes, having Merlin cofront with Mystery makes it easier for Merlin to not be so susceptible to xyr symptoms.

I (Martin) have more obvious anxiety than the rest of us, and struggle much more in social situations. I'm much better at hyperfocusing on tasks, though. So I'm better suited for staying home and working on whatever the current project we have at the time, or keeping our to-do lists in check. Vince on the other hand is calm in most social situations that are more professional--so he's good for business meetings and such. In more casual conversation though, Vena and Merlin are much better at it and better suited to non-professional social groups.

Vince is an intra-NPD holder and also holds stronger symptoms of our BPD. He struggles immensely with percieved rejection, much more than the rest of us. But he also almost completely lacks empathy, which makes it much easier for him to be calm and logical in stressful situations. He finds it easier to help friends and those he cares about during stressful times because he's not weighed down by feeling their emotions--whereas the rest of us might break down from stress.

We talk a bit about mental disability differences in headmates more than those who differ physically. Somehow it seems more controvertial to mention that we have headmates that differ with physical symptoms while even in safe system spaces. It seems like most people (us somewhat included) mainly think of symptom holders as a mental disorder thing--a line of thinking we're trying to dispel. Headmates can have different disabilities and symptoms of all kinds, and it's not ableist or "harmful" to know that and speak about it. Headmates with different conditions to the body need to be recognised more.

Mike needed a cane in his memories and he absolutely needs our cane when he fronts more than the rest of us. He feels more at home and like himself having a cane by his side here, though, so it's good we already had one. I (Martin) need it more too--my joints are just more prone to pain. But our cane folds up nicely into our bag, so if we switch out in public, it's always with us just in case. Even if it's silly, we feel safer having a cane too--I mean, it's a metal pole. We're out as trans and clearly not your Regular Society Member, so it provides some feeling of safety to have.

Jayfeather was blind before, and since coming here he sure can see now, but he's much more light sensitive than the rest of us. The feeling of being able to see was nice at first, even if it was foreign, but sometimes he feels it's not worth the hassle. He needs to wear sunglasses when fronting because his eyes just end up hurting from even small amounts of light. Crowley is the same, except he wasn't blind in his memories--he just got used to always wearing sunglasses in his life to hide how his eyes looked, and needs them here now. They're both more prone to migraines due to this.

Merlin is more shaky on his feet than others who front often. His legs are digitigrade and in headspace he has his wings and tail to balance him there--but in the body, he doesn't have any of that. His legs are the wrong shape and he has no counterweight to his posture. Even with our cane, he's more prone to tripping than most.

Mystery was a godlike being that didn't need to eat human food, or any physical food at all. It often forgets that eating, sleeping and going to the bathroom are things the body needs to do, because it doesn't often feel the need to do them. That can be good if we're running low on food, or if we can't eat for a while such as before a medical procedure though, so it's useful in its own way. Mystery is also not used to using its hands for intricate things like tying shoelaces, as it's hands before we're longer, bigger, and mainly nonphysical. It didn't need to be intricate, so it's hard for it to do things others in here can.

There's so many more examples in our system. The thing is, there can be positives and negatives to any disorder, really--and headmates are no different with that. We don't necessarily assign headmates "roles" or "jobs" based on their symptoms or lack thereof, but for us to function better as a collective, people tend to gravitate toward doing certain things they know others can't. It's important for us to know how we differ with our disabilities, and work around them together as best we can.

Systemmates with different symptoms aren't uncommon, and they're not mocking disabled people, or lying for some benefit. I'd argue that for some systems with symptom holders or intra-disorder holders, it's increcibly important to know about how you differ and how to work together to be functional--whatever functional means for you.

[possessed-pack]

Being an intra-disorder holder is an absolute pain because on one hand, I have Symptoms. On the other hand, these Symptoms won't usually be understood by medical professionals as exclusive to me, and if they are, then they'd assume I'm an issue or a "problem alter" because of the way I see things or would be put off by my lack of empathy. I can't be seen as struggling by those who could potentially help me because it would cause more issues to me and my system than it would fix.

I don't want the body diagnosed either because we don't all have the disorder (and getting a DX would be detrimental to our rights even if we did). It's just not how it works or what I want--my SYSTEM doesn't have these symptoms, I do.

And in a lot of system spaces, the precedent is set that you can hold symptoms, but only of disorders the body has. A lot of this, in my opinion, comes from spaces trying to defend themselves from anti-systems saying symptom-holders make no biological sense and are "cringe" or whatever, with people reacting like "oh no we have the disorder, this person just feels it more!"--which is also a valid experience, but I don't see much of a difference in how it would make sense or not compared to disorders the body doesn't have.

There's so much shit about it. It sometimes feels like it should just be kept quiet. But I don't want it to go ignored either. It's hard to find space where I can talk as someone with Symptoms without fear of being accused of whatever is cool to harrass people for that day.

But I'm not going to be quiet, because if others deserve support groups and/or people who understand them, then I sure as hell do too. It's a strange middleground that I'm stuck in, but I'm going to try and be a little more open about it because if there's one thing I'm good at, it's spite.

[funeral--pyre]

Reminder that telling a headmate to change an aspect of their identity or self to be "less problematic" is dehumanising as fuck. You can't go around doing that shit. It's entirely a you issue if you can't handle a headmate having an identity, they're not responsible for your issues or required to morph themselves into something you can swallow. Fictives, factives, people with number names, nonhumans who are "scary", headmates who are queer while the body isn't, headmates who are queer in a different way to the body, disabled headmates, etc.

You can't tell a singlet to change their entire name because you think it's problematic. You can't tell a singlet to hide their gender or sexuality because it "doesn't match" their body. You can't tell a singlet to change or hide their entire damn identity because you don't like it. You can't tell a singlet to stop having days where they experience disordered symptoms.

If the headmate in question is acting respectful, treat them with some god damn respect. It doesn't MATTER if they "match" the body. They're just as much of a person as any singlet is. You cannot convert someone into being something they're not.

[appledumplinn]

TW⚠️ABLEISM/ABLEIST DISCOURSE (for some reason tumblr isn’t letting me swich this little blurb and the pic around so apologies<3)

okay i understand that lateral ableism is horrible and ppl with physical disabilities shouldn’t make it seam like that they “have is the worst” but why does having a disability need to be a competition? i think its worth mentioning that y’all able-bodied ppl and phys disabled ppl that make it a competition like this “*insert disability* is more important than other *insert disability*!1!!!!!1!!” only see it this way bc u see ppl with other disabilities and or with higher or lower support levels as competitors

im not saying that this person doesn’t have it bad at all. Tourette’s and tics in general are absolute torture and cause so much pain and injury for the ppl who have it and i think more ppl should understand that. <3

however most ppl in cripplepunk dont veiw disability like this. and to be frank disabled ppl that DONT veiw other disabled ppl like competition dont think like this. at this point i wish the ppl who dispise other disabled ppl like this would just say that they veiw us as competition which is why they feel justified in lashing out at those with different needs or higher support needs (higher or lower tbh)

and if I’m being seriously honest if ppl are more disabled than you, WHO GIVES A SHIT? i have fnd and low to med support needs for my autism, and there are ppl that “have it worse” than me, so what? i stopped caring abt wanting to have it the worse bc I’m fortunate to be able to do things that others cannot do due to one or both disabilities. i have a privilege that many don’t have and i think instead of lashing out bc u have the privilege to walk while others cant, be glad u still can do things like walk or walk without issue.

if this kind of behavior towards ppl with different needs is bc ppl that didn’t understand u acting like ur not truly disabled unless ur in a wheelchair, bro pls go to therapy for that. like i feel like so much of this kinda shit from able-bodied neurodivergents is just ppl like this taking out them not getting listened to by fully abled people out on other disabled ppl. i think thats why able-bodied neurodivergents like this shit on cripplepunk, when cripplepunk exists just so physically disabled ppl can empower themselves and each other and fight against a world that saw them as less than human (myself included) and bc they cant be apart of cripplepunk themselves :,)

i live for the day where we get rid of this notion that phys disabled ppl have it sooooOoOoo good while everyone else doesn’t cuz they can walk, see, hear, etc and we cant.

all in all i think ppl who do think see ppl in the community as competition and y’all need to go to therapy.

[deltoradecay]

Introduction.

I'm Dagger of Decay, Corro, or any of my facets names. He/It pronouns. Grayromantic, pansexual. Alterhuman, disabled, and terrorpunk. I'm a median subsystem that you can learn more about under the cut. We're a bunch of fableings acting as one guy, and we've got a lot of other alterhumany stuff going on.

I'm a member of the @interstellarsystem. We're quoigenic, have DID, and have 400+ system members.

More info about me under the readmore.

Ask | System Blog | Main Blog | Trigger Warning Tags

Alterhumanity:

I'm a median subsystem with facets of:

Dain (Deltora Quest)

Tomura Shigaraki (My Hero Academia)

Lamplighter (OneShot)

Junpei Yoshino (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Mahito (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Suneater (My Hero Academia)

And our collective identities are:

Arthropod-hearted

Centipede therian

Technically, I'm a median subsystem, but I present mostly as one person. This is why sometimes I act a bit differently. Treat me as a unit as opposed to several individuals, regardless of if I specify which facet is fronting at any given time. We are not to be separated.

Insys, I am in a QPP polycule with Shrapnel ( @kaboom--bitch ) and Red ( @draconicred ). My FP is @funeral--pyre, also in-system.

Disability:

I'm an intra-disorder holder. Basically that means I have disorders the body doesn't. Those are:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Antisocial Personality Disorder

I'm also very affected by disorders our body has. Ones relevent here are:

Schizoaffective disorder (Bipolar type)

Borderline Personality Disorder

Insomnia

Chronic fatigue

I tend to have manic episodes from our schizoaffective so my speech may be impacted by that.

Tags I Use:

#op - My posts.

#rb - Reblogs.

#the curserrr - Mahito.

#the decayerrr - Shigaraki.

#the daggerrr - Dain.

#the eaterrr - Suneater.

#the lighterrr - Lamplighter.

#the watcherrr - Junpei.

#the [x]errr art - Art of my fableings or alterhuman identities.

#alterhuman, #otherkin, #disability, #terrorpunk - All community specific tags, you can figure out the rest, they're self explanatory.

#bugs n stuff - Bugs, insects, and similar things.

DNI/Stances:

I don't care who interacts. I'm fine with any good faith identity. I'll block you if I want to and you should do the same if I'm upsetting to you. We likely won't read your DNI because largely they're inaccessible and you should use the block button anyway.

Quick stances from us, though: We are pro endo, pro created plurality, pro fiction, supportive of pwNPD and other persodivergents, pretty anti-psych in general, terrorpunk, supportive of psychotic people, of the opinion that 'contradictory labels' are cool, and we believe disordered plurality isn't the same as traumagenic plurality. If you disagree with these and you're mad we interacted with you, just block us.

[dyspunktional-leviathan]

Stop fucking lying to folx about what intrusive thoughts are. They do not have to be about “harming oneself or others” (in ways that *you* think are Objectively Harmful, not what might be harm to oneself to the individual experiencing them, of course, yea). They do not even have to be about actions at all.

Intrusive thoughts are your brain picking a theme that distresses you the most and bombarding you with thoughts about it because it thinks it’s protecting you from it that way (basically like an allergic reaction). That can be anything for anyone. And you don’t fucking get to decide what is distressing or non-distressing for others.

[melancholic-pigeon]

"your method of managing the symptoms of our shared neurodivergence doesn't work for me therefore I'm taking away your ND card and now you're neurotypical (derogatory)" is my least favorite meme on this hellsite

[quiet-admirer]

Look, I know people putting "feedists dni" in their social media bios is often an "ew, gross fetish" that is better solved by term filtering, blocking, and moving on, but we cannot suddenly have deliberate amnesia about the fact that the are still a lot of feedists and fat fetishists out there who make a habit of sexually harassing non-feedist fat people (and feedist fat people, too, we know this) and putting their images into feedist spaces nonconsensually. In the reality where that happens, fat people are absolutely entitled to say "hi, I'm fat but don't sexualize me in that way, I don't want anything to do with this particular kink".

As long as it's not blatant virtue signaling that reinforces stigma, like when feedism is included in a dni list alongside, like, pedophilia and eating disorders, "feedists dni" is the simplest and most neutral way to express that request, too: it's not a "disgusting abusive fat fetishists fuck off and kys," it's "don't direct this at me and let's leave it at that."

It minimizes and dismisses real abuse that happens when people say "I'm just a widdle tummy enjoyer, anyone who doesn't like us is a bigoted fatphobe." People are allowed to dislike us and want nothing to do with us and they're allowed to respectfully say that. And pretending like intra- and extra-community abuse doesn't happen prevents us from being able to do anything about it.

[copperbadge]

Okay, I'm home. The cats informed me that I smelled like a lot of fascinating new things.

I have showered and put on pyjamas and eaten dinner, drank some water, petted kitties, and now I'm in bed reflecting on the day. That was wild.

I don't think I'll do another run anytime soon. It's not overly physically taxing, but it can involve an amount of discomfort from sitting on the train benches and limited access to bathrooms. I know it seems like I'm obsessing about the peeing but it's more that I know how shitty Chicago is culturally about making public restrooms available. Also I drink like three liters of water a day. I spent most of today mildly dehydrated compared to usual because I only carried so much water with me.

Mostly it was mentally taxing. Calculating odds of one shortcut over another, keeping alert for announcements, navigating strange stations. And managing the swings between that and long empty stretches where nothing happens.

I would like to shore up some weak points in the route. There are one or two places where "a delay that would really screw me" was highly likely, and only averted through luck. The big one is that 54B bus from Midway to 54th/Cermak -- it's the only bus going in the right direction, but it also wasn't running full timetable service and wasn't going to where it should have. The 318 from Forest Park was also exclusive and unreliable but that one was walkable in a pinch.

Intra-terminus transfers went great, though, and most of the trains were either right around my estimate timewise, or slightly faster. Truly I could not have worked the transit system with such finesse when I first moved here and kept getting on the wrong train at Belmont.

I will post up some more stats, the spreadsheet (it needs an explanation rubric) and a document with all the posts in it, but it might be a minute because I have a crammed weekend and an executive function disorder. I did check my transit history and I'm pleased to say I only spent $9.75 on fares today, three full fares and two transfers. Not too bad.

[kaboom--bitch]

Not me realising I can't hear someone talking to me from across the room and freaking out internally because I forgot I'm intra-hard of hearing. "Oh my god why can't I hear her she's just on the other side of the room" maybe it's because I'm fronting?? Come on. We've done this before.

[interstellarsystem]

Intra-Disordered

We don't do coining posts often, if at all, but this one applies to some of us and we figured we'd tentatively share.

Intra-Disordered: A person within a system with the experiences of having a disorder/symptom the body does not have or is not known to have.

Intra as in "within", referring to within a headmate.

This can be the result of trauma, isolated symptoms caused by trauma-holding, symptoms a headmate has in source, psychosis, or other reasons. This can also include symptoms of a disorder the body has that are not experienced by others in the system, such as a system with autism collectively being okay with sounds of all types, but one of them is sound-sensitive.

To be used with sublabels if you prefer, such as intra-ADHD or intra-anxiety, and can also refer to specific symptoms, such as intra-hallucinations or intra-tics. If you'd like a headmate role-esque phrasing, intra-disorder holder is an alternative, which can be coupled with the sublabels such as intra-BPD holder.

This term is specifically to differentiate from bodily-disordered experiences while also having ways of easily phrasing disordered symptoms the body as a whole does not have, while keeping both validated. Similar in purpose to "exotrauma"--to acknowledge both experiences while they are similar, but separate, and both are deserving of support.

[possessed-pack]

Not me seeing the take that autism and NPD are "natural enemies" and autistics are able to "sniff out" those with NPD at a glance so they can be "removed". What are you on about. Is this pokemon to you. Autism beats NPD but bitch I'm a dual type watch the fuck out.

[funeral--pyre]

Considering some of my other headmates are talking about intra-disorders today, I might as well.

It's hard figuring out what the fuck I have. I fit closely with schizoid personality disorder and/or paranoid personality disorder but we're literally schizoaffective bodily, which makes shit all the more complicated for me to figure out. I have different and/or more psychotic symptoms than the rest of us, but oh my god it's hard to figure out.

[appledumplinn]

sighhh. ok lemme just put this other there in the open.

ABLED=/=ABLE-BODIED!!!!!

abled is when someone has no disability, able-bodied is when someone could be disabled but isn't disabled PHYSICALLY.

"but the brain is an organ doesn't that mean that ND able-bodied ppl are physically disabled-" NO.

as much as ppl wanna say it's "the same thing" is really isn't. physical disability (which i will be shortening to pd and able-bodied as ab) isn't just the cute canes and wheelchairs. it can be for lack of a better way of explaining this, its loss of independence, its the stares you get for looking or moving weird, its pain/fatigue, and so much more. it's labeled as something ppl can see and can immediately tell you are disabled. for example people know im disabled because i walk with a limp or my legs tremble. i never realized how different neurodivergent culture is from pd culture until i got my fnd, (a disability i have that GREATLY impairs me physically). like it or not, they are both insanely different. i get it, ur brain doesn't work, but is that REALY comparable to the things some of y'all, "the brain is an organ too Dx" mfs compare it to?????and even if some of yall compare it to just the mobility issues, even that is way bigger of an iceberg than some of yall able-bodied neurodivergents understand.

[bah-of-buddies]

WELCOME ONE AND ALL —

— to the Buddies BAH ! :D

our main is @4sqadia-8anthen

REQUESTS CLOSED

before you go on , we must state -

- we have no DNI , just know that we are transID neutral , pro endo / willo ( obvi ) , and anti - c with any harmful ( non - consensual ) paraphilias

AND WE ARE RQ NEUTRAL ( we don ’ t care if you interact , we actually like that our stuff is reaching all sides of tumblr )

we are offering our creativity to yall in a new way ! ! :3

so ask away !

SOURCE LIST

just add all of the information that you want included and anything you don ’ t want !

we also use a level system , so if no level is mentioned we will just assume you want a level 1

( reference images would be a good help )

[ template below ]

Level 1

name : 

pronouns : 

gender : 

sexual orientation : 

romantic orientation : 

age :

personality : 

Level 2 

role : 

species / kins :

likes :

dislikes :

emoji signoff : 

typing quirk : ( will not add unless specifically mentioned )

source : ( will not add unless specifically mentioned )

Level 3 

aesthetic : 

hobbies : 

accent : 

music genre :

front triggers :

intra disorders / disabilities : ( will not add unless specifically mentioned )

paraphilias : ( ONLY ANTI - C / NON - HARMFUL )( will not add unless specifically mentioned )