#irony is dead

[amuseintime]

Scriptfrin: If you could add one line to the script, what would it be?

Scriptfrin: “I mean… there’s a LOT of stuff I’d want to say. And if I were being practical, probably a small spiel explaining my whole, uh… issue to strangers. Probably could’ve saved us a huge headache with Nille if I could just say what’s going on… (Should probably keep a note like that on me, actually.)”

Scriptfrin: “But, uh, guess if I’m being honest…”

Scriptfrin: “… but hopefully, they already know that.”

[porterdavis]

[peachskull]

Back in the office full time and I swear I’m this close to unironically printing out dilbert strips to hang up in my cubicle.

[witheredoffherwitch]

There's something downright comical about Rishi Sunak, Britain's beleaguered Prime Minister, proudly taking the stage at Cambridge University to flaunt his 'hindu' identity all while wishing Indians a very *happy* Independence day.. 💀💀

Oh the irony!

[weirdasscomments]

[princess-nell]

It’s becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish The Onion from regular news. There’s definitely been a bunch of stories I assumed were true upon first glance before seeing the source.

In an effort to optimize their offerings in an increasingly crowded marketplace, streaming giant Netflix confirmed Friday that it would soon be releasing a Jeffrey Dahmer stand-up special produced by the platform’s self-learning algorithm. “Our proprietary algorithm has always served our viewers the most engaging content possible, and we’re thrilled to announce its latest creation, Jeffrey Dahmer: Losing It!” said Netflix co-CEO Ted Sarandos, who shared his hopes that the infamous serial killer’s “incisive and unapologetic takes on relationships, cannibalism, the working life, drinking, necrophilia, and human dissection” would have viewers “unable to turn away” from their screens.

Full Story

[gemby-gemby]

My cringe take is that simply implying that Dean is bisexual as opposed to just saying or showing it makes 100% more sense for his character.

[bet-on-me-13]

Wes ruins everything

Wes had finally done it, he had finally realized why nobody ever belived him about Fenton and Phantom! It made so much sense now, he had been looking for an answer for years, thinking he was going crazy because everybody refused to see the Obvious!

He was Cursed!

He literally had an Ancestoral Curse on his Bloodline that made it so that all those born with the gift of Prophecy would be ignored! A Gift of Prophecy that he apparently had.

It was Cassandra's Curse, the one from Greek Myths. Apparently she was his Great×1000 Grandmother and passed down the Gift (and Curse) of Prophecy to him. And he knew how to break it!

All he needed to do was gather the right resources, chant the correct incantations, make sure not to accidentally summon a Demon in the process, and he could just foist the Curse onto some other poor schmuck. Sure it would suck for them, and he would loose his Gift of Prophecy, but Wes had been ignored for Years at this point, he needed validation!

So he did the Ritual, and he didn't mess it up, and he managed to get rid of the Curse.

Now all he had to do was convince everybody that he was right for the first time in his life! This was going to be great!

...

Cass didn't know what was going on.

A while ago, she had started getting these...gut feelings that she couldn't explain.

She would look over the details of a Case her Family was working on, and see a patern that the others were seemingly ignoring. Like when she realized that The Penguin was about to raid the Docks on the East Side, but the others were convinced it was going to be on the West.

But when she had tried to tell them, they had brushed her off. "We've already concluded that he will begin the Raid on the West side, no need to go to the East."

She had gone anyways, and low and behold she had been right. But nobody even acknowledged that she had been right at all, they had just wondered how they had missed the signs, not even questioning how she had known.

It wasn't limited to Cases either. Even small things, like telling her brother's where the TV remote was were brushed off, and hours later they would still be looking, never even having checked where she told them.

It seemed that no matter what, nobody cared about her point of view anymore. They kept brushing her off, telling her she was wrong, actively ignoring her ideas.

And it was getting worse. They were starting to ignore her more and more, forgetting she was in the room, not calling her down for Dinner, even forgetting to check in on her during Patrol.

She knew that there must be something going on, Magical or otherwise, but when she tried bringing it up with her Dad or JLD, they would also Brush her off.

Her Family was forgetting her. And they didn't even realize it.

...

Danny was not okay at the moment.

When he had gone to school a few weeks ago and noticed everybody staring at him, he didn't give it much thought. Maybe Dash or Paulina had spread another Rumor about him again, not too out of the ordinary.

When his name had been called over the Intercom, he hadn't thought much of that either. His grades were falling even more than usual, so he assumed his Guidance Counselor wanted to have another talk with him.

When he walked into the Principals Office to see both of his Parents and some GIW Agents, that's when he realized something big must have happened.

He didn't have much of a chance to react when the Shields went up, but he did react when the first Ecto-Blast scorched the wall behind him. His Parents began to scream at him as they fired their Blasters, something about replacing somebody? He didn't know, he was pretty preoccupied at the moment.

It took more effort than he cared to admit to escape the Room, but a stray shot to the hidden Shield Projector under the Principals Desk proved to be his saving grace. Unfortunately the moment he escaped the Office, he was met with a veritable Army of GIW Agents, all armed to the Teeth with Weapons he had never even seen before.

He managed to get away for a moment, hiding in the Bathroom as the Agents chasing him passed it by. That's when he met Wes.

He obviously hadn't been expecting him, but the moment he saw him Wes put on a smug look. "Oh hi Fenton, trying to get away from the other students?"

Danny had replied with confusion, "What the hell are you talking about?!"

"I finally managed to convince everybody about you, now everyone knows that you're Phantom! I'll bet you're hiding from all of the other Students hounding you for questions right?"

"...it was you?"

"Yeah, so? I finally get to be right!"

"...You absolute MORON-"

That was the last Danny got to say to Wes before an Ecto-Blast launched him through a Wall, seeing his face morph into a look of Shock just before the dust cloud covered it up.

Since that day, Danny had been on the Run. Nowhere was safe anymore now that the GIW knew both his Human and Ghost's faces, but he had to keep running. He crossed state Lines already, and was on his way to the next Ecto-Rich City he could sense, somewhere in New Jersey.

He cursed his Fenton Luck every day. Why had everybody believed Wes this time?! Nobody had ever belived him before, nobody even seemed to acknowledge his existence after a while! What had changed?

Danny just wanted to rest already.

...

Cass had taken to Patrolling alone recently. She had taken to doing a lot of things alone, actually.

After the first month, it seemed that nobody could remember that she was in the room with them, even if she was within their eyeline, she just faded into the background. By the 2 Month Mark they had stopped talking to her entirely, although occasionally she would get a Text or two from her dad. By the 3 month Mark she was completely invisible, and By the 5th she had been forced to get used to it.

She didn't know what was going on, was it a Meta Ability? Magic? Alien Tech? She had no idea.

She had begun to cook for herself after the first time Alfred forgot to set her Plate at the Table. The same with Washing her own Clothes, Cleaning her Room, and Paying her Phone Bills. At the very least the Automated Allowance Payments to her Account had kept up, or she wouldn't have been able to go to her favorite Cafe anymore.

It was bittersweet for her. She used to go to that Cafe every week with Alfred, but he didn't even come on his own anymore. Had he only come for her? Did she really mean that much to them? It hurt, she finally had a family that cared for her and suddenly she didn't exist to them.

She sat alone at a Table, ignored by everyone in the Cafe as usual, when a new face walked in. He looked about her age, a little roughed up, walking with a sort of cautious gaint, as if he was scared of something. His Body Language seemed to agree with her assessment, as his body practically screamed "Worry" in its movements.

Cass stopped watching at that point. Just another Gotham Teen, probably worried over something like getting not having enough money or getting mugged on the way home. It was a Common sight in Gotham.

She attention was pricked again for a moment when she heard a voice speak up. "Uh, can I sit here?"

She ignored it, he wasn't talking to her.

"Um, excuse me? Miss? Could I sit here?" He repeated.

She ignored him again, he wasn't talking to her. Nobody talked to her.

"Hello? Do you have Earbuds in?" He said, and he waved his hand in front of her face.

Her face. He waved his hand. In front of Her Face.

He was talking to her.

She looked up at him sharply, seeming to startle him for a moment before he asked, "So, is that a no?"

"You can see me?" She asked.

He looked a bit bewildered, but replied "Uh, yeah? Why would I not? Are you...a Ghost?". That last part sounded a bit suspicious.

"No. Not a Ghost. But nobody sees me. Ever. Nobody remembers me." She replied. She had never spoken this much to anybody outside of her Family, but in the past few weeks she had been starved for interaction.

He seemed slightly interested, and sat down at her table. He looked her in the eyes, and said "Do you...talk about it?"

She smiled. He could see her.

[technically-human]

Charles realizing he's in love with Edwin after all, my beloved

[cheese-water]

Generation Loss is a comedic tragedy in every sense of the word. Every character we see exemplifies this fact, but no one other than The Austin Show proves its truth.

We begin at the carousel. Austin, Gay, takes his turn by pleading for himself to live because he has a wife and children back home. The rest of the cast interrogates him about his “wife and kids,” clearly suspicious of his truthfulness without even knowing his dubbed “title.” Everyone in the room treats Austin like a joke.

In turn, so do we.

Next, we reach the closet and shortly after the failed drag show, Austin remarks, “Look, I uh… I didn’t expect to die here.” It’s a moment of pure honesty, whether we like it or not. It happens again when the Puzzler tries to party with them, and Austin has to angrily remind him that they are his captives and are actively trying to kill them.

Austin: “What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? We're trying to get out of here. I have children and wives— wife. One wife! What is this some sort of game? I’ve been stuck in hear for hours it seems. We’re trying to get out. Why is nobody else freaking out? We’ve got C4 strapped to our neck…”

It isn’t until Ethan’s death, his blood pooling out from underneath the door, Austin screaming at the others, begging them to have a reaction, to care about their circumstances, to care about death, that we finally understand Austin’s role in Generation Loss.

After all, in every great comedy, someone always has to play the straight man.

[anarchic-miscellany]

Ghouls have threatened to commit this for some time now. On the one hand, it's on Apple TV: nobody watches that. On the other, come the fuck on do I even need to make the jokes about the death of irony at this point? William Gibson is a fucking poet, a brilliant writer and the man behind my favourite book ("Idoru" for the 2 people curious) who doesn't as is often believed, write specifically about the future, but about the present. He turns an eye to the oddities of the world we currently live in, and expounds upon them. "Neuromancer" was written in the fucking 80s, and all this adaptation will do (I know I'm right) is capture the "wow, aesthetics of cyberpunk! Razor wire! Molly Millions and her knife hands!" parts of the book which have become engrained into pop culture, forgetting that: 1. The book is batshit mental. 2. It's about the 80s, specifically the 80s and corporate excesses controlling memories and what we are allowed to find relevant and pertinent. This misses the point so fucking miserably, it would be akin to making "Born in the USA" your battlecry, which also fucking happened. Yeah, not going to be watching this.

The streamer announced that it’s adapting William Gibson’s seminal cyberpunk novel Neuromancer into a 10-episode series. Graham Roland (Lost, Jack Ryan) will serve as showrunner, while JD Dillard (Utopia) will direct the first episode. (Both will also be executive producers on the series.)

Huh. No word whether William Gibson is involved or not.

Keanu Reeves should have an uncredited cameo.

[flowersforthemachines]

Useless Veilguard fact of the day: Day 55

Even though most companions can complete most assignments during the final battle in Minrathous as long as they are the Heroes of Veilguard and the faction they are assisting is at 3 stars, some of them will still fail their job regardless of all other circumstances. Those include:

Lucanis will always get Strife killed if he's assigned to assist the Veil Jumpers with the wards

Davrin will always die if sent against the Venatori mage with the Antivan Crows

Lucanis will always die if sent against the juggernaut with the Grey Wardens

All mages will always die if they are left behind to hold the line

If you want to see how everyone fares under different circumstances, check out this post by @/hopearefeatheredthings.

Check out the tag for more useless facts: #useless davg fact of the day!

[dclovesdanny]

Dead on Main x Supernatural

Listen, all Danny and Jason had wanted was to have a nice night in, binging Supernatural. (Jason had seen bits and pieces, but hadn’t seen the whole thing, while Danny used to watch it a lot back in middle school, but he stopped having time to watch during the beginning of Season 8.)

They didn’t mean to fall asleep watching it, nor did they plan to wake up as Dean and Castiel, with a mental connection to boot.

The mental connection was especially helpful since Jason as Dean had to figure out how to not seem suspicious, while Danny as Castiel had to figure out how likely changing the script would cause problems.

Sam and Bobby are just trying to figure out who brought Dean back from Hell and why Dean seems so confused and angry at times.

(In case this isn’t clear, they arrive in Season 4 Episode 1: Lazarus Rising)

[madame-helen]