#is a turtle always a tortoise or is a tortoise always a turtle?

[quadrantadvisor]

Me @ the creators of tmnt 2012: you know that Spike is a tortoise, right?

Me @ Raphael (tmnt 2012): you know that Spike is a tortoise... right?

Me @ Slash (tmnt 2012): YOU DO KNOW THAT YOU'RE A TORTOISE RIGHT????????

HE'S NOT HE'S NOT I SWEAR TO YOU HE'S NOT THIS MAN IS A TORTOISE

[ellaeved]

Jonathan is the gay icon we all needed to hear about right now. 200 year old gay turtle 🐢

Warding off the oncoming depressive episode by reading about very old tortoises

[sophiamcdougall]

I am never going to complain about Greek Duolingo again

I mean, I am. But still.

So, as some of you know, my family has been coming to this tiny Greek seaside village for several years. Just over a week ago I came out here with my mum, under the impression that early September, after the height of the summer heat, would be a good time to have a holiday. ANYWAY Storm Daniel had other ideas about that. Locally things are improving (I'm actually really pissed off about the disaster-porn tone of most English-language media coverage, but that's another post). The power is back on, there's running water most of the time, and though the latter is not drinkable, a truck from the government came and handled out free bottled water yesterday. But we are currently kind of stuck. Can't do tourist things. Can't go home. There aren't any local flights out until Saturday and the road to Thessaloniki is still closed.

So this evening, feeling kind of aimless and depressed, I go down to the nearest beach with a couple of binbags and start cleaning up in an effort to at least do something positive. I always try to do this at least once out here and obviously, after the storm, there's a lot more plastic and rubbish than usual.

At some point I find this large, round bit of metal - some kind of machinery part, I think -- that's too big for the bag, so I take it to the bins on its own, leaving the rubbish bag on the beach. And when I come back for it, something among the stones beside it moves.

Specifically, it pulls its head sharply inside its shell

So, meanwhile I've been trying to learn some Greek with the help of Duolingo.

I currently have a 33-day streak and... I have questions. Shouldn't I be able to use the past or future tenses by now? Shouldn't I be able to say "x is like y"? I can't do those things. But one thing I absolutely can say all day long is έχω μια χελώνα : I have a turtle.

This is far from the limit of Duolingo Greek's turtle-related content. "An obsession with turtles" is my mother's characterisation. I can inform you that the turtle is not a bird, and, improbably, that the turtle is drinking milk. I can introduce you to a turtle in company with a horse and an elephant. As far as Duolingo is concerned, it really is turtles all the way down.

Now this, you may be able to see, is not a turtle. It has claws rather than flippers. It is a tortoise. I know there are wild tortoises in Greece: my aunt once rescued a pair of them shagging in the middle of the road -- but that was up in the mountains. I've even seen one myself, but it was also on a road and very dead.

I am 95% certain they don't belong on beaches. There's nothing for it to eat, except, unfortunately, a lot of plastic. Even if it gets off the beach it will immediately find itself on a road where it could get hit by a car. I'm pretty sure it must have been washed down by the floodwater and has been just sitting there, dazed, ever since.

Now obviously the first thing I want to do on encountering this unusual animal is to go and tell my mummy, so I do. The tortoise immediately brightens her day. She agrees that the tortoise is not happy on the beach and needs to be taken somewhere safe. it gets surprisingly wriggly when picked up so we put it in a carrier bag with some grapes and cucumber and go looking for somewhere to rehome it.

We find a path leading up between the houses towards a likely-looking field, but before we get very far a dog in a yard goes berserk and a man's head pops over a fence and demands to know what we're doing. He does this in English, as evidently we're just that obviously tourists.

"I found a tortoise on the beach!" I explain. "We want to find somewhere to put it."

"A what," he asks.

"It's like a, you know," I begin and then to my astonishment I find myself saying... "μια χελώνα"

"Oh! A turtle!" he says.

"But from the land. δεν είναι χελώνα", [it is not a turtle,] I say, as I am worried he will tell me to put it back near the sea where I found it. As it turns out it actually IS a χελώνα, Greek does not distinguish between turtles and tortoises, but I don't know that; I can't even name the days of the week or identify any colours other than pink yet, give me a break.

The man's entire demeanour changes and thaws. He does not worry about my turtle-that-is-not-a-turtle conundrum. He knows where οι χελώνες come from and where η χελώνα μας belongs. He leads us through a gate into a courtyard area.

"[somethingsomething] μια χελώνα," he explains to the assembled onlookers, of whom there are, suddenly, a surprising number.

"ΜΙΑ ΧΕΛΩΝΑ!!!" crows the throng of delighted small children, who are, suddenly, everywhere.

"μια χελώνα!" I agree, accepting that at least for current purposes, that is what it is.

"Μπορούμε να ��ούμε τη χελώνα σας; [can we see your turtle?]" asks an adorable little girl, shyly, and I understand??

The children fucking love looking at the χελώνα and showing it to them is kind of magical?

I finally put the tortoise down on the grass of this wild area off to the side of the courtyard, and marvel aloud that it is weird that I barely know any Greek except how to say μια χελώνα.

"I think she will soon run off," a kind lady called Aspasia assures me, seeing I remain slightly anxious about its fate. "I don't know why I'm saying 'she'. I suppose because χελώνα is feminine in Greek."

"Yes! I know that!" I exclaim, thrilled.

"Well done!" she says. And also she asks if we are OK for drinking water after the storm and if we need any help with anything and is just generally incredibly lovely and now we know more of the neighbours!

So "μια χελώνα" has just become, by a long way, my most-used and most understood and all-around most conversationally successful phrase in Greek. So I guess I have to admit I was wrong to doubt Duolingo's wisdom: it is correct to be obsessed with turtles. And I concede that prior to learning how to count to ten or to distinguish right from left, the simple ability to yell the word TURTLE over and over again is, it turns out, a crucial element of the responsible traveller's social skills.

(I am pretty fluent in Italian and turtles haven't come up in conversation even once?)

[blueberrypancakesworld]

hii hope you're doing okay!! <3 i've just seen bloodlines and i'm absolutely NOT normal about erik, do you think you could write some smut about him, maybe related to that truck scene..... (if you know what i mean!!) if not that's totally okay feel free to ignore this ahah

A kinky discovery

Erik Campbell x fem!reader (girlfriend)

warning : +18, mdni, smut, oral - fem reciving, spanking, tiny teasing, fluff, no use of Y/n

Summary : Being Erik's girlfriend was never going to be boring, whether it was the new tattoos he was showing off, piercings on parts of his body that had a lot to offer or just his slightly weird but loving nature. But there was one side she hadn't seen yet and when she saw Erik flirting with the garbage truck, that interaction stirred something in her that she wanted him to do the same with her.

info : I'm not normal about Erik either, the truck scene showed me so much I wanted to know about Erik and of course you will get your request dear anon, best regards, thanks for the request and enjoy reading ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her boyfriend Erik was a ray of sunshine, the nice black sheep of the family, with his piercings and tattoos he stood out and yet once you were in a conversation with him you saw his nice, friendly and also funny side.

He was someone you couldn't help but love, not only his family but also his girlfriend, who he had been dating for almost a year.

It was like meeting a fairy tale, both of them reaching for fallen objects and immediately striking up a conversation, it seemed fated that they should meet.

His family the Campbells and the Reyes also welcomed his girlfriend warmly and soon she was spending family parties and celebrations with both of them, everything seemed perfect and it only seemed to get more perfect when she was with the Campbells one sunny afternoon.

After work, she had arranged to meet Erik at his parents' house for dinner, and now she was standing in the kitchen with Bobby and Brenda, peeling vegetables and chopping meat for the stew, “You two are doing a wonderful job,” the older blonde woman said, seeming completely exhilarated by the teamwork.

Bobby was fast and efficient and she cut the meat precisely into small pieces, "Thanks Mom" came from the son who gave her a smile and quickly slipped a lettuce leaf to his pet turtle who was watching its owner in a small glass box opposite.

Paco was cute, small and would live to be decades old, but the tortoise was always the star of the family. Whether in photos, at parties or for strangers, as soon as the animal was brought out, all eyes were on Paco.

“Really cute,” she commented and saw Bobby's grin, who was glad that Erik's girlfriend also liked the reptile so much.

The three of them in the kitchen kept talking animatedly about the upcoming celebrations, the recipe was carefully written down by Brenda and slipped to her, "Then you can cook something hot together," she said with a wink and the heat rose a little on the younger woman's ears.

Brenda seemed enraptured whenever her firstborn brought his fruit, she seemed so proud and happy that her 'special' son was finally living his life the way he wanted, that he had a future together...and maybe a grandchild soon.

She didn't know whether it was a sexual reference or just some kind advice, but in any case she'd had enough of both with Erik, partner time and sex.

She was just about to help Bobby cut the last pieces of meat and wash her hands when she heard voices from outside, "Erik, Stef and Charlie are back, I'll just say hello," she announced and heard the joyful noises of Brenda, who was already eager to have the family meal.

Walking out through the hallway and opening the front door, she saw Stefani, Charlie and Erik standing in front of the garbage truck discussing something, looking at the spectacle she stopped at the door and smiled slightly.

Stefani was excited and seemed to want to say something to the others, Charlie looked at her indecisively with his arms crossed before Erik walked towards the truck.

Already wanting to shout what this was going to be, the words got stuck in her throat when she saw Erik handling the truck.

The initially lascivious hip swings more dance than serious, almost funny and yet somehow cute, to Erik who put his hands on the yellow metal and she clearly heard the overloud French kiss as he seemed to lick the truck more than kiss it.

Already thinking that this was it, that her heart could calm down again, a warm pull ran through her abdomen as she saw the slap of the flat of his hand on the tire.

The slap as skin met rubber, so firm and yet somehow erotic that she didn't move from her place, not when Stefani and Charlie walked past her and not even when Erik dragged her back into the house with a puzzled look on his face.

Yet the image of her boyfriend spanking the tire and being so open about it didn't leave her mind for the next few hours, replaying over and over like a continuous loop...until they arrived back at the apartment together in the evening.

Erik had clearly noticed that he had become calmer since the meal, although he didn't know the reason, he feared it was something else.

When they had both hung up their jackets and put their shoes in the cupboard, they stood in the kitchen waiting for the water to boil for tea, his eyes searching hers but her gaze seemed to avoid his, “Is everything all right?” he finally dared to ask.

As if he had hit the nail on the head, she seemed to wake up from her thoughts and look at him questioningly, “What?” his girlfriend asked him, not even listening, let alone realizing what had happened.

A sigh came over Erik's lips as he grabbed two cups, put the tea bags in and poured the hot water, “I was wondering if everything was okay, since dinner you've been completely silent and seem to be avoiding me...is it because of my mom?” he asked, knowing that Brenda could sometimes be a bit tempestuous and well, pushy when it came to her loved ones.

Immediately she felt the guilt come over her, that was definitely not the reason, she loved Erik but since his show every time she looked at him she got more than just nervous.

Pulling on the teabag a little and feverishly wondering if she should try to talk her way out of it, Erik's behavior took the decision away from her when he walked up to her and put his hand on hers.

“No matter what it was today, I still love you and you're the most important thing” he made it clear to her and she found his words extremely sweet but that wasn't the reason or stopped her thoughts from showing the scene again.

Her slight shake of her head confused him even more, “That's sweet Erik but that's not the reason...you can't laugh okay?” she demanded and he symbolized that his mouth was closed before gesturing for her to continue.

“So well when you made out with the garbage truck and spanked the tire well that....it turned me on” she confessed to him and as soon as she had finished her sentence Erik began to laugh as if he couldn't contain himself, playfully wiping tears from his eyes.

“Oh-Oh sweetie that's good” he mumbled, still amused, taking a sip of the tea as he caught himself in his amusement, when Erik saw her serious, look, he paused, as if studying her, before a surprised, “You were serious,” actually escaped his lips.

Erik now realized what she meant, what she had really been doing all those hours before he shook his hands and a knowing grin appeared on his face, “So you were turned on by me giving that sexy, tight, hot tire a slap?” he asked, still looking at her brief nod in slight disbelief.

Yet the look in his eyes, the knowledge he now had of what this meant, seemed so much more delicious to them both than the tea that was forgotten when he put his hands on her hips.

He navigated them both towards the bedroom, greedy kisses providing space for air, the two of them only breaking away from each other when it came to getting rid of the now far too distracting clothing.

Every more piece of exposed skin seemed to spur them both on and when Erik sat down on the bed and just patted his thighs, her cheeks burned with heat, “I'll be very gentle with my good girl, of course,” he winked and that took the seriousness out of the situation, which relieved her.

After all, it wasn't about some bdsm relationship with rules and regulations between them, it was about having fun and Erik was just using the new knowledge that made his girlfriend horny.

Trying to relax, moving towards him and bending over his cock, he gave her a moment to get used to it, “So did you like it when I gave you a slap?” he asked, teasingly running his hand down her back, “Yes...I do” she said almost meekly, and he could feel his grin as he too got a taste of the situation.

Silence that wavered between them was broken by a clear slap on her ass, she flinched as a gasp escaped her and Erik gave her a brief moment, “Something like that?” he asked again, wanting to know how firm he could make it.

There was a tingling sensation starting from her cheek, which turned into a fuzzy interesting tug in her body and she only gave a “A little harder” as Erik lightly lifted his hand again and brought it down on her back again.

The sound of the slap went through the room, louder than before and a gasp escaped her, it was what she wanted, the tingling, a surface that would go numb with more slaps, an excited pull in her abdomen and her fingers clinging to the ceiling.

Erik seemed to have seen her reaction exactly when he immediately repeated the slap with roughly the same firmness and her panting mixed with a moan with each further slap, “You take it so well sweetie” he praised her.

After a few slaps let his hand run over the red spot, giving her the moment to recover from it, the stinging pain, the slight numbness and also Erik taking in the beauty he had in front of him.

She noticed the bulge in his black boxer shorts, “You're reacting to it” his girlfriend said as she found her words again and her gaze went to his bulge, which he only returned with a grin as he slowly lay down on the bed.

She slowly straightened up and settled on his clothed midsection, Erik's hands gripping her hips and she felt him press lightly against her, the almost exasperated sigh coming from his lips as she engaged him in another kiss.

“We still have plenty of time...show me what your tongue can do” she said this as she saw his grin when they both knew that they had taken their relationship to a new level thanks to a garbage truck.

As Erik spun her around in one motion and she lay beneath him, his lips parting hers, he began kissing his way down her naked torso.

The bites and caresses made her bury her hands in his dark hair as she let him know whenever he did something particularly well, “You seem to like my hands,” he commented as he took off her underwear and felt her wetness on his fingers as he ran them over her center.

Her giggle was shared as his 'wonder hands' spread her thighs slightly and she let out a sigh as she felt his tongue, she heard his almost smile as he sucked on her nerve spot and her wince only made Erik grip her thighs a little tighter.

The room that had previously been filled with the sound of slapping became filled with the licking and sucking sounds of Erik's head disappearing between her thighs, her gasps and moans whenever Erik teased her clitoris with his tongue.

Two bodies, one of which reared up and shook slightly when she could barely stand the waves of arousal and Erik's hips rubbed against the blanket and mattress to relieve his own arousal.

The aroused looks they exchanged, both of them dazed with lust, had seen nothing more beautiful as Erik heard her cries and her thighs wrapped around his head, his muffled grunts as he came and both heavy breathing came down from their high.

Exhausted and woolly, she heard Erik move closer to her, wrap his arm loosely around her and gently kiss her, “I must make out with garbage trucks more often ” she heard his comment and they both cuddled up, sharing a smile. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@nearest-x-dearest , @captainthomasrobbie , @monkeydoll5 , @zombiepoe , @starry-eyed-wild-child , @porterroths , @amandalove1355 , @mythicalcowboyatheart , @rhaenyrathecruell , @aashy723 , @luluscoff1n , @fapqueen , @sadslasher13 , @everdxen-mellark , @yearsbecomingcool

[whatcoloristhatcat]

I bring you. My turtle (she'd be a tortoise but she's always around the damn fish)

SOCKS AND BOOTS SOCKS AND BOOTS SOCKS AND BOOTS

[tetragonia]

The Tortoise and the Hare

Jo Togame x Fem!Kaji!Reader

summary: You're Ren Kaji's twin, just moved back to Makochi last week. The streets didn't change, the vibe didn't change, and apparently your rival didn't either.

notes: Togame's second kanji ('Kame') means turtle, so there's that. just fluff and all nice so far. some mention of violence, suggestive animal cruelty (I guess...?)

words: 1.6k

The restaurant district hummed with life, neon lights flickering above the bustling crowd. Laughter, the clatter of dishes, and the sizzling of street food vendors filled the air, but you barely registered any of it.

You had only just moved back to Makochi—not exactly the grand return you had expected. This was the place where you had been born and raised, at least until junior high, before leaving for years. Now, everything felt both familiar and distant, like a song you hadn’t heard in forever but somehow still knew the lyrics to.

You had always been good at fighting—fast, precise, never one to back down. But that wasn’t why you had moved back to Makochi. No, you had come back because someone had to take care of your grandma. And it sure as hell wasn’t going to be Ren Kaji.

Oh, you knew. He had the whole cool, responsible act down to an art. With that sharp gaze and his ever-present anger issues, he looked like someone people should fear. But you had grown up with him. He was your twin. And you knew the truth.

Ren Kaji was a pain in the ass. In your ass, to be precise.

A loud, stubborn, reckless idiot who had somehow fooled the world into thinking he had it all together. But you? You weren’t buying it.

That night, you had decided to walk around, maybe grab something to eat, let the city settle in around you. You hadn’t even planned to buy Ren anything—it was your money, and the most generous offer you could make was to buy him one lollipop. That was it.

You hadn’t been looking for trouble yet, since you had only been back for a couple of days. But, of course, trouble had found you first.

You exhaled sharply, shaking out your sore arms. The five guys in front of you weren’t particularly skilled, but they were stubborn. And you? You were rusty.

Cracking your knuckles, you rolled your shoulders back, a smirk tugging at your lips.

Their leader sneered, taking a step forward, “You should just hand over your cash, sweetheart. No need to get hurt.”

“Sweetheart?” you scoffed. “That’s new. Usually, I get called ‘crazy.’”

The insult had barely left your lips before he lunged. You pivoted sharply, slipping past his swing and driving your elbow into his ribs. He grunted, doubling over just in time for your foot to sweep his legs out from under him. He crashed down hard.

In the shadows of a nearby alley, Jo Togame watched.

At first, he had been ready to step in. This was Shishitoren territory, and some lowlife idiots causing trouble wasn’t something he tolerated. But then he had seen you fight. Sharp movements, precise strikes. Even with your rust, you were dangerous.

So he had leaned back, crossing his arms, letting the rabbit handle its own battle.

Two more had dropped after a few well-placed blows. You were panting slightly now, every movement a second slower, your muscles protesting. Togame had noticed instantly. Fatigue.

Then he had seen it.

A fourth guy had crept up behind you, a broken bottle clutched in his fist, his movements quick and silent. You hadn’t noticed.

Togame had moved.

Before the thug could bring the jagged glass down, Togame had snatched his wrist, twisting it with practiced ease. A sharp yelp had echoed as the weapon had clattered to the pavement. Togame hadn’t hesitated. A swift kick to the ribs had sent the guy sprawling.

“Oblivious much?” Togame had drawled, looking down at you.

You had spun on your heel, ready to snap back, but he had seen it before you had said a word—the exhaustion in your posture, the faint tremble in your hands, the shallow cuts along your arms.

Running a hand through your messy hair, you had exhaled.

“Haven’t fought since I moved out. First time today,” your voice had been casual, but your breath had been unsteady. “Had to get my reflexes and muscle memory back.”

Togame had tilted his head, eyes lingering on you.

Then, he had smirked, "Not bad for being out of practice.”

You had shot him a tired glare, “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

“Dunno. You look like you’re about to pass out,” he had said. “C’mon, I’ll walk you to enemy lines.”

You had scoffed but hadn’t argued, “Suit yourself.”

As you had dusted yourself off and started to walk, Togame had watched you with that same infuriating smirk.

“You sure you’re not about to keel over?” he had asked, hands shoved in his pockets.

You had rolled your eyes, “I’m fine.”

“Uh-huh,” he had nodded, unconvinced. “That’s why you’re swaying on your feet.”

“I’m not swaying.”

“Right. So if I pushed you right now, you wouldn’t topple over?”

You had narrowed your eyes, “Try it and see what happens.”

Togame had raised his hands in mock surrender, “Relax, rabbit. Just saying, you look like you got run over.”

You exhaled at the nickname. You remember that day.

You had just been minding your own business, walking home through a shortcut behind some old buildings, when you had spotted it—a small rabbit caught in a tangle of wires and trash. It hadn’t even been struggling, just frozen, big eyes staring up at you.

You hadn’t thought twice. You had crouched down, carefully untangling the mess, muttering under your breath about how stupid it was for a rabbit to get stuck in the first place. The moment it had been free, it had bolted, kicking up dirt as it had disappeared into the bushes.

You had figured that had been the end of it.

But when you had stood up, brushing your hands off, you had heard slow clapping.

Togame. Leaning against a wall, arms crossed, looking way too entertained.

“Didn’t take you for the soft-hearted type,” he had mused. “Rescuing bunnies in alleyways now?”

You had rolled your eyes, “It was stuck. What was I supposed to do, leave it there?”

“Dunno. But now I definitely can’t unsee it,” his smirk had widened.

Just as you had finished untangling the little rabbit, footsteps had approached from behind.

“Oh! There you are,” an older man had sighed in relief. He had been dressed in a crisp apron, the faint scent of herbs and garlic clinging to him, “That rabbit belongs to me. Thought I lost him.”

You had blinked.

“Oh. Well, here," you had scooped up the rabbit and handed it over without a second thought.

The man had smiled warmly, “Thanks, kid. Would’ve been a shame to lose such a fresh one before dinner service.”

You had frozen.

“Dinner service?”

“Yeah. I run that European place down the street. We’ve got a rabbit stew special tonight.”

Your stomach had dropped as you had watched him secure the little creature in a crate. The rabbit had twitched its nose at you, completely oblivious to its fate.

Togame, who had been watching the whole thing unfold, had burst out laughing.

“Oh, that’s rich,” he had wheezed. “You just saved that thing for the butcher.”

Your eye had twitched, “I—I didn’t know!”

“You looked so proud of yourself, too,” he had teased. “Damn, rabbit, that’s cold.”

And just like that, the nickname had stuck. No matter how much you had tried to shake it, Togame wouldn’t let it go.

So now, as you trudged alongside him, bruised and exhausted, you had heard it again—

“Yo, rabbit, still with me?”

You had groaned, dragging a hand down your face, “For the last time, stop calling me that.”

“Not a chance. Come on, let’s get your beaten ass outta here,” Togame had just laughed.

“You look like you just crawled out of a sewer, but I didn’t comment on it," you scoffed, didn't want to back down from anything.

He snorted, “Harsh. You always this grumpy after a fight?”

“Only when I have to deal with you right after.”

“Guess that makes me lucky, huh?” his smirk deepened, and you resisted the urge to wipe it off his face with your fist.

Instead, you exhaled sharply and started walking.

“Whatever. Just don’t slow me down.”

“You’re the one limping," Togame easily matched your pace.

“I am not limping.”

“Sure, sure," he tilted his head, amused. “Keep telling yourself that, rabbit.”

You shot him a glare, but he just chuckled, following you all the way to Pothos Café. But the second you stepped inside, the conversation halted.

Hiragi, Sao, Umemiya, Sakura, Nirei, Sugishita, and Kotoha all turned toward you, their gazes scanning the fresh cuts and bruises littering your skin.

Kotoha reacted first, “What the hell happened to you?”

“Relax, it was just a warm-up," you waved a hand dismissively.

“A warm-up?” Hiragi raised an eyebrow. If anything, Hiragi was more of a brother than Ren. He was always a around when you grew up. In fact, you picked up how to fight—and getting damn good at it—because of him.

You could see his gaze flickered to Togame, “And you—what the hell did you do to her?”

Togame raised his hands in surrender, looking far too entertained, “Hey, don’t pin this on me. She was like this when I found her.”

“He didn’t find me. He just wouldn’t shut up and leave me alone," you scoffed.

“That’s called being a good friend," Togame winked. You cringed, physically and emotionally. You left him and sat on an empty chair, sighing.

“You’re bleeding," Sakura frowned, as he wasn't bleeding all the time.

You sighed, shaking your head and voicing what you thought, “You guys literally bled all the time. And it’s not fine when I do it?”

“Well, your brother would—”

“Don’t say a word to Ren,” you warned, pinching the bridge of your nose. The last thing you needed was your brother flying into another overprotective fit. He was too damn quick to anger when it came to you, and it was starting to get under your skin.

“Say what?”

The room tensed.

You froze for half a second before turning your head. There, standing in the doorway, was Ren Kaji.

His dark gray eyes locked onto your injuries, his usually blank expression darkening into something unreadable.

Hiragi muttered under his breath, already reaching for his pills, “Oh, this’ll be fun.”

You exhaled sharply, bracing yourself for the incoming storm.

“Well… shit.”

[herpsandbirds]

Hello, not sure if your requests are open but if they are could I request some not-well-known tortoises and 🐢 turtles? I've requested a few things already though so if its a problem that's OK!

I would like to ask one question though- do you also run mammilianmammals (I think that's how the url is spelled?) I know you run typhlonectes (again I think that's how it's spelled) all 3 including this one are wonderful blogs I was wondering if you ran that one as well.

Great job as always and thanks in advance if you do this request!

Youre always welcome to send asks or requests. If the function is enabled, then I'm here for you. No need to apologize.

Yes, my mammals blog is Mammalian Mammals. My cute animals and animal re-blog blog is Fucxing Cuties.

I really love turtles (and tortoises). I have some really nice chelonians for you...

Coahuilan Box Turtle (Terrapene coahuila), family Emydidae, endemic to the vicinity of Cuatro Ciénegas in Coahuila, Mexico

ENDANGERED (~1500 left in the wild)

Unlike other species of North American box turtles, this species is aquatic.

photograph via: Turtle Conservancy

Southern River Terrapin (Batagur affinis), male in breeding colors, family Geoemydidae, Cambodia

CRITICALLY ENDANGERED.

photograph by Brett Bartek

Cochin Forest Cane Turtle (Vijayachelys silvatica), family Geoemydidae, from the Western Ghats of India

ENDANGERED.

photograph by Davidvraju

Western “Namaqualand” Tent Tortoise (Psammobates tentorius trimeni), family Testudinidae, Northern Cape, South Africa

ENDANGERED.

photograph by m_burger

Stripe-necked Musk Turtle, Sternotherus minor, family Kinosternidae, in a river in Tennessee, USA.

photograph by Isaac Szabo

Malayan Snail-eating Turtle (Malayemys macrocephala), family Geoemydidae, Bangkok, Thailand

Photograph by Artur Tomaszek

Meso-American Slider (Trachemys venusta), family Emydidae, Honduras

Photograph by Paul Freed

Painted Terrapin (Batagur borneoensis), male, family Geoemydidae, found in SE Asia

CRITICALLY ENDANGERED.

photograph by Andrew Brinker 

[wwwjam]

Chapter II: The Hare >Her basement< >Chapter III<

Basic Route info and theoretical end speech beneath the cut.

To be frank, I mostly just wanted to draw Princess as a bunnygirl, but I did still have some thoughts about the route, though nothing too in-depth. Rather than come up with a new dialogue option, I figure it'd be best to take advantage of options that are already there. Currently, both instances of slaying the Princess when the Narrator compels you lead to Witch, but what if the second time led you somewhere else? Internal logic: Soft Princess has just dodged your first (initially unwilling) strike, proving to be swift enough to avoid you, though clearly in a panic. Despite her unease, she's much faster than you. Like you're a... tortoise, and she's the Hare... Just roll with it. (I don't think anyone's noticed/mentioned her crown has that turtle shape on it)

For the snow thing, I just wanted to give her a dress that'd allow her to run, but didn't want to go with a loincloth like design a la Adversary. I settled on that short, fur trimmed one and thought "what if there was snow" and hey, now there's some manner of conflict and explanation for why she's not chained up and is able to avoid you.

And extremely early draft of a theoretical Shifting Mound speech. For context, I imagine you have to sort of chase Hare out of the cabin. Make her choose between constantly avoiding you, or heading into the freezing winter air she's afraid of. "Survive, evade, run. Flee, escape, take shelter, hide, live another day. But death comes all the same, whether it waits outside your door, or comes barreling through it. Do you look it in the eye, meet it on your own terms, or do you keep running, do you keep hiding? You drove me to make a choice, and only in choosing to confront the cold death I feared was I truly alive. One always has a choice to make, even in fear.

But without that fear of the end, do one's choices truly matter? Can a life mean anything if your decision to survive, or to die, is as meaningless as your decision to breathe? Is being given that choice so unimportant to you?" -That fear is what pushes one to survive, but it makes life itself terrifying. "Or is it the terror itself that makes life worth surviving? The fear of not seeing what comes tomorrow?" -I would never take that choice from you, or from others. "Then make your own choice to join with me once again, and give back that choice to the world."

[thinking-emoji]

Ok contrary to my expectations I actually found the Today Show interview interesting for, like, a couple of reasons???

1. Other people have said this but the interviewer opening with "together for 15 years, how do you make it work", and Dan going through the turtle metaphor and then, with the widest grin, saying "professional relationship" - was SUCH a refreshing moment imo bc it didn't feel awkward at all!!! It's such a fun middle ground - giving the fans what they want (tortoises), giving the interviewers what they want (an answer), giving himself what he wants (control of the narrative and focus on the professional aspect), giving me, sophia thinking-emoji, what I want (feeling like I'm in on a joke) thank FUCK they've gotten good at media now after 15 years.

2. What Phil said about everyone being aware of internet content and professional content creators now. That's the one thing I noticed from the start. There was a post going around here earlier about phannies interviewing them vs non-phannies, and it was kind of based on those old interviews when journalists would ask "well what does a youtuber even do", and generally being disrespectful because they either didn't understand or felt threatened by new media - and I think that is pretty much gone now. Of course the tv presenters on Australia Today Extra know who dnp are and what they've done over the years. Not knowing that would be embarrassing! We're not wasting our time with the very basics anymore. You're allowed to just say hi and promote your show without having to justify your entire career now. Finally

3. The interviewer repeatedly trying to get more speaking time from phil, and dan ALWAYS rushing in to help phil wrap his answers up - and then at the end, Phil claiming that he "yaps too much" for tiktok. That's so fucking funny bc it looks like he's just blatantly ignorant of how he comes across as the guy who talks significantly less, but it's even funnier if you realise that it's probably true? If you leave Phil alone with a camera, I think he would talk for 10 hours but occasionally sit in silence for 20 seconds at a time, and that's why dan has to step in with these fast-paced interviews before phil can think of an answer of his own. We pretend they're one person but I find it fascinating how you can see their different approaches to communication in these interviews

4. Elise posting this on bluesky of all places unironically makes me happy. I'm still not on there but it feels like a small victory over elon musk specifically lmao. I hope more twitter phannies move and then in a few months we can completely replace twitter as a source, at least within our small fandom space

Edit. 5. I knew I had forgotten something over the 20 minutes of writing this and it's of course them willingly, openly and unprompted talking about being queer and having a queer audience on a show that is not decidedly queer! It's one thing to talk to Attitude mag or to a phannie about identifying as a twink and a third or so of your audience being trans, but honestly saying this on The morning show on national tv hits, dare I say it, different

[flatoutin-eaurouge]

can i humbly request a primer on mika & his love of turtles/tortoises 🙏🏻

YES OF COURSE!!!

Where to start though...

This man ABSOLUTELY ADORES turtles and he will make sure you love them too. The old man still loves to yap about them on the socials.

It all started a long time ago, when a young Mika was allowed to drive for team Lotus in 1991. During his years at Lotus, he lived in a house with his team boss Peter Collins and Collins's wife and daughter, a few team members and some mechanics. It immediately became clear that Mika felt most at home surrounded by a lot of company.

That cozy and lively home situation changed when Mika moved to Monaco and had to live there on his own. Keke watched over the money he earned and occasionally gave him an allowance to buy his sparse, plain, boring furniture in his not so cosy home (source: his biography). Looking for some company, Mika decided he wanted a pet to take care of. But most animals need a lot of care and attention and that was not possible to combine with his job. That is why a low maintenance pet had to be found. Mika chose a tortoise (pronounce "turtus") and named her Caroline.

Caroline was given her own room in his apartment and was even allowed to stay in her own room when physiotherapist Mark Arnall needed a place to sleep. Mark Arnall slept in Caroline's room not the other way around.

Mika was always delighted to be greeted by his slow and relaxed pet tortoise wandering around in his house, everytime he had left a fast and busy race weekend behind.

Mika enjoyed taking care for his little green bundle of joy. He potty-trained Caroline and bought a lucky charm plastic turtle to bring him luck during race weeks. The thing was named Brian. It didn't bring him luck :( it's a sad story... 🥺😭

Mika not only had a living and a plastic tortoise at home, but also a plush and wool tortoise. After a photoshoot for Hugo Boss, the employers of the brand gifted Mika a giant turtle plushie, which he absolutely loved.

Being a well-known turtle lover at this point, Mika decided to gift Michael a lifetime commitment after Michael won the WDC in 2002... GUESS WHAT IS WAS... 😭😭

Also check out these cute and amazing art works!!! 1) 2)

[thoodleoo]

the thing about zeno's paradox about the infinitive divisibility of space is that a lot of people remember the example the involves atalanta but there's also a version that states that achilles can never win a race against a tortoise that he's given a head start to (because he always has to take time to reach where the tortoise was, by which point the tortoise has moved ahead) which gives me the beautiful image of achilles screaming crying throwing up in a rage while a turtle slowly plods ahead of him. just like in the funeral games of patroclus

[ttrpg-smash-pass-vs]

TORTLE

VS LOCATHAH

Tortle! More tortoise than turtle, but still! They can retreat into thier shell and hold thier breath for an hour! They're actually big into travel, for they always carry thier home on their backs. They also like making friends :) That's all I got, so on a less wholesome note, did you know that Galapagos tortoises thrust for 10-20 minutes while groaning so loud it can be heard for miles?

Locathah! Aww, they even have a pet :3 They're strong, athletic, observant, and amphibious. Thier will is strong, being very good at resisting anything that might poison, stun, scare, or put them to sleep! Combine with thier thick hide and incredible endurance could make for a fun time, but they do need do hop in water every few hours. They're actually really friendly and always down for friends and allies, but they do have a good bit of social etiquette they ask for. It's simple stuff though, mainly "social distance unless given permission to approach." Which I hope you did when possible to begin with, and isn't relevant since we're assuming you have permission.

[veinsfullofstars]

Okay I've seen it mentioned a couple times now but I gotta ask.....

what's the Library Turtle?

Oh? Would you perhaps be referring to-

-known more colloquially as the Library Turtle? Well, I'm glad you asked!

In the CFAU, it’s a little interstellar lending library that travels all around the local star system, collecting, trading, and sharing a wide assortment of books, magazines, music, and other sources of knowledge and entertainment between the various interplanetary communities. The elderly duo that owns the library have been running it for quite some time, visiting Popstar in particular few times a month. As for the proprietors themselves…

First, we have the lovely Ms. Paige, a tiny owl-like lady with a witchy aesthetic and a grandmotherly disposition, as patient and wise as you’d expect given her librarian title (as long as you don’t damage her books, that is). A former teacher and very well-traveled, she is a wealth of general knowledge and information, always happy to answer questions when she can or, barring that, to find the book that will. (She also has a bit of a weakness for gossip, even if she won’t admit it.) On occasion, she’ll regale the children with a story or two, folktales and epics and even anecdotes from her own travels (though, few tend to believe such fantastical yarns). She’s also rather spry for her age, often seen carrying improbably tall stacks of books without breaking a sweat. She claims it’s because she always remembers to eat her greens, or exercise regularly, or get a good amount of sleep every day. The answer seems to vary each time she’s asked about it.

We also have the illustrious Sir Apple Tortsworth IV, Esq. - or Sir Tort for short - a large tortoise-like creature who co-owns the library with Paige. He is an easygoing old man of few words and fewer hurries, perfectly content to take the twilight years of his life at a leisurely pace (even if others don’t always meet him at his speed). On land, he stands on four sturdy legs, while, in the air, he transforms them into flippers that let him soar with grace and ease, even with the weight of a whole library on his shell (well… some of it, anyway). He’s happy to chat when prompted, his words thoughtful and eloquent, but he generally prefers to sit back and observe while Paige does the talking for them both. She claims that he’s actually quite the chatterbox when he wants to be (and a sassy one at that). Then again, she also claims that he was once a highly-decorated knight. And a certified lawyer. And a four-star chef. He’s yet to confirm or deny any of these claims. Mostly he just smiles and sleepily admires the scenery, humming old songs from his youth.

The kids love when the Library Turtle comes to visit the village, even the ones not so inclined to reading. As interesting as their homeland can be, there's something exciting about learning what goes on in the cosmos beyond. Paige never fails to find something to interest them, even if it's just another one of her famously tall tales. And Sir Tort is more than happy to listen when one of them has news to share or just needs an ear to confide in. And, whenever the kids have questions about anything - their home, the world beyond Popstar, their families and neighbors, even the two of them - Paige and Sir Tort always make time to answer to the best of their abilities.

Sketch started 01/09/25, sketch finished 01/14/25. | Childhood Friends AU Masterpost

[thunderberryz]

I think I've mentioned this once or twice before, but it really does my heart good to know that the 2003 turtles would have grown up with the first four Pokemon gens. Pokemon Red and Blue had its North American release in September 28, 1998, when the turtles were around 10, and Diamond and Pearl came out stateside on April 22, 2007 when they were 19, so they would have been able to spend their entire pre-teen/teenage years playing the games.

I'd imagine that, at least for the first two gens, it was difficult for all four of them to have their own copies of the games because of their isolated lifestyle and just not being able to get new things most of the time. Hell, the only reason they even had a Gameboy color was because Splinter managed to find a broken one during an excursion to the junkyard and brought it back so Don could fix it up. Once they met April and Casey though? Well, simply put; Casey went out of his way to save money so he could get all of them Game Boy Advance SPs and copies of Ruby and Sapphire. The four of them were DELIGHTED to finally all have their own games and would spend HOURS in a turtle pile running around Hoenn. There were even times Splinter would wake up in the morning and discover they had all fallen asleep and that the batteries on their consoles had died... which was horrifying for the ones who occasionally forgot to save at regular intervals. Either way, wonderful moments of levity for all of them.

Some additional thoughts:

Leo always got weirdly attached to the starters his brothers never wanted to pick. Like c'mon guys, what's wrong with Chikorita? Look at that little dinosaur! We're going with Cyndaquil? Okay...

Naturally, he made a beeline straight for Treecko when he was able to play his own copy of Sapphire. He also has a stupid love for little Turtwig because, well, turtle/tortoise.

With his own game copies, Don always goes with water type starters. Doesn't know why; he was just drawn to the likes of Squirtle, Totodile, Mudkip, and Piplup, no questions asked.

Both Raph and Mikey SWEAR by fire starters. Hell, when they found out about the issue of the lack of fire types in Sinnoh, they tried to make a pact that all four brothers would go with Chimchar (Leo and Don refused.)

It goes without saying that Mikey is the most hardcore Pokemon player. Bases his team purely on their effectiveness in battle, only uses Pokemon with perfect IVs, goes out of his way to fill the entire PokeDex, plenty of shiny hunting, etc; once Nuzlocke runs become a thing in his adulthood, he DEFINITELY has fun with those.

Raph and Don, polar opposite twins that they are, are kinda funny. Raph is definitely a competitive Pokemon player, but he doesn't really bother with stuff like IVs. Don is more casual, but he still goes out of his way to find Pokemon with good IVs so he can kick Mikey's ass. (That said, both do sometimes pick their teams based on looks rather than their general stats; Raph likes to go for Pokemon that look tough while Don will throw something like a Masquerain or Spheal with an Everstone onto his team.)

Leo is the casual player who gets way too attached to the Pokemon on his team. He doesn't care if there are better Grass types out there, he is keeping that Shroomish, damn it!

There was definitely one occasion where Casey and April came in to visit and stepped in on the horror that is the link cable accidentally coming loose from one of the Game Boys. All four brothers were traumatized since the double battle between the Sunrise and Magenta Duo had reached its peak with Leo and Raph having been knocked out while Mikey and Don's final Pokemon were both in the red with Mikey having a type advantage over Don (though Don was looking oddly smug about the whole thing.)

[orangescarfs2000]

ROTTMNT AU Ideas 1

So I've been thinking of doing a ROTTMNT AU, so here we go because I don't know how else to start this. The big starting change is that the lads are all different species than they are in the show:

Leo - Tent tortoise

Donnie - Speckled padloper

Raph - Leopard tortoise

Mikey - African helmeted turtle

(and before anyone comments on it: Yes, tortoises are a type of turtle)

And of course, a little description of each:

Tent tortoises are found in the Karoo and deserts of South Africa and Namibia. They are characterised by their brightly patterned pointed shells that look like Bedouin tents. They are vegetarian, feeding on succulents, and usually cannot survive in captivity. They are also very pretty.

Leo in this AU has the same bright patterns and pointed shell, and takes great pride in it. He is also a vegetarian (by biology, not choice) and cannot spend too much time in the brothers' sewer base (or indoors in general) or he gets very sick. He is the leaders of the brothers and is the most hardworking of them. Despite being from a physically weak species, he is the most adept fighter out of his brothers.

Speckled padlopers (aka Speckled Cape tortoises) are the single smallest species of turtle in the world. Their scutes are covered in many small dark dots (hence the name). They live on rocky outcrops, are more resilient than other padlopers, and multiple species of bacteria and fungi co-depend on speckled padlopers as their home. Courtship among this species involves the padlopers nodding their heads at each other.

Donnie in this AU is the smallest of the brothers, by quite a decent margin, and has lots of spotted spotted markings. He is a huge botany and mycology nerd, and loves the outdoors (though he always goes out with his technological comforts at his side). When he is happy or contented, he bobs his head (partially because of his DNA, and partially because stimming).

Leopard tortoises are large tortoises that live in the African savannah. They like to dwell in the abandoned fox, jackal, and aardvark burrows, but never dig themselves except for laying eggs. They are one of the largest tortoise/turtle species in the world. Their shells are domes, and younger leopard tortoises are covered in black and yellow blotches and stripes. They love fruits, and they munch on bones and ash for calcium. They are important for seed dispersal and may not legally enter the US. I have met them before IRL and they are very cool and chill.

Raph in this AU is still the largest of his brothers. He is very lazy, loves to eat, loves to sleep, and is so cool and chill that he seems constantly high even though he isn't. He still has his yellow and black pattern since he's still young. He loves sweet things, and is constantly getting in trouble with the law despite doing nothing wrong.

African helmeted turtles (aka marsh terrapins / crocodile turtles) are semi-aquatic turtles in marshes, rivers, and lakes Sub-Saharan Africa and Yemen. Unlike most turtles, they are able to flip themselves upright if they fall on their back. They will eat almost anything, including fish, carrion, tadpoles, and birds, which they tear apart with their sharp claws. They also have a symbiotic relationship with warthogs, buffalo, and rhinos, where they eat ticks and other pests off of the larger animals as they bath. During dry seasons, they bury themselves underground until the rain returns. Like padlopers, they nod at each other as a form of courtship. They also look stupid and I love them.

Mikey in this AU is the family chef. He loves cooking and eating food. His brothers sometimes have to forcefully stop him from eating things he shouldn't. Despite still being the resident goofball, he is also the physically strongest of the brothers and is a very formidable and dextrous fighter. He also loves to help people out, loves swimming, and (like Donnie) he bobs his head when happy or content.

There is more that I could add but this post is already FAR to long so this will do for now.

To those of you who encouraged me to do this, this is your fault /positive.

[lgbtlunaverse]

I always love when fic writers decide to make Baxia a pet in modern AUs but 99% of the time she's either a dog or a cat and I think there's unutilized potential there. Since Baxia is literally named after a creature described as a giant dragon with a turtle shell, one of the sons of the dragon king, there should be more AUs where she's is a big turtle or tortoise.

Also I think Nie Mingjue would fucking love to have a pet turtle, so someone should give him one.