#is expired

[decapodfossil]

Okay I’m about to say something that may be read controversially. I am not trying to start shit.

I feel like when we shit on Trump voters, we should not use “cares more about gas and the price of eggs” as a pejorative.

I voted for Kamala. I stand by voting for Kamala, I think that’s what everyone should have done.

I have also been to the food bank pretty regularly in the past year.

I can tell you that the rising cost of living, being unable to afford food, being unable to afford gas when that’s potentially your way to get to work, daycare, buy groceries, the doctor- the United States as a whole has shit public transport if they have any at all- all of that Is Very Very Real.

That’s not a reason to vote for Trump, fuck the man, he’s a monster in every single respect.

But I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a lot of poor people voted for him because he told them he’d make it easier for them to feed their families.

He won’t. Because he sucks.

But I am never, never going to shit on someone for buying what a grifter told them would make it easier for them to eat.

I still think they shouldn’t have voted for him.

But, and I’m being a little unfair here, I think a lot of people would stop saying that people chose the price of eggs over human rights if they’d ever had an empty table.

[sleepysundial]

very very dumb and silly ms paint doodles of drunk merc headcanons teehee

devastatingly left out pyro because i do not know how to characterise them 🙏sorry pyro lovers update: there is pyro now :)

[zephyrchama]

Demon brothers weaponizing their incompetence in the human world to get your attention. Your realm is sooo different to the Devildom, they need you to help them. These ancient and powerful beings are stumped by the incredible inventions of human ingenuity.

Or maybe they're taking advantage of you to monopolize your time.

---

Beelzebub, who had been using a fork just fine all day, suddenly forgets what it's for when you walk into the room. He fiddles with it in his hand and asks, "How does this human fork work?

You respond, confused, "It's the same as any fork? Literally the same as the Devildom, you just... stab the food and put it in your mouth."

"Belphie said human forks are different. You might have to feed me."

---

Asmodeus comes to you in a bath robe, which he managed to put on just fine by himself. "I don't know how human baths work, you'll have to take one with me!"

Belphegor's request is simple. He's already laying down, half asleep, when he grabs your wrist and demands, "Show me how the bed works."

---

"Lucifer, your brothers are driving me crazy again," you complain, having fled to the eldest's room for a moment of reprieve.

Red eyes peer at you from over the rim of his glasses. There's the faint curl of a smile on his lips. "Are they, now? Stay in here as long as you need."

[hinamie]

make it vicious, take a stab

[egophiliac]

one last batch of Scully Js for the road before Malleus eats my brain again

let's all pour one out for the King of Halloween, whose only crime was being born a Hot Topic goth before Hot Topic existed for him to shoplift his Jack Skellington merch from (and also the whole turning people into pumpkins thing I GUESS) (look, nobody's perfect)

[homkamiro]

They have something I don't even know how to name

[motherfuckingcat]

[meolog]

Snow on the beach (expired film)

[dcxdpdabbles]

Danny: What's that smell? *Deep Sniff* Tim: Excuse me? Why are you in my space sniffing me? Danny: I'm sorry, but are you wearing a unique brand of cologne or something? Tim is proud of himself: I actually made this cologne myself. I used a very special rose to get that more masculine scent you are picking up on. It's sort of my signature- Danny: It's hideous. Take it off. Tim: What? Danny: Smells horrid. Hurts my nose. Makes me want to throw up. Is being a perfumer a dream of yours? Because if so, give up on it. I got to go. You're causing my head to hurt. Tim, watching him leave: Who are you to tell me to give up on a dream I didn't have until three seconds ago? You know what? I will make the most alluring cologne you have ever smelled, and when you're begging me for a bottle, I'll tell you to give up! Tim: *Calls Tam* Give me three more boxes of Blood Blossoms. I'm going to get that man addicted to my signature scent! Tam: What ever happened to "Good afternoon, Tam," "How was your day, Tam?" or even just an explanation of who this "man" you want to create cologne for is? Tim: No time! We must move quickly!

[amid-fandoms]

15 years of comfort have shaped them so beautifully they look like they just started youtube with their uni best friend

[dapper-lil-arts]

Anyone else finds it hilarious that pony posting not only is going through a Renaissance but simply does not die lmao. i'm having a good time!

[cheralith]

childhood bestfriend!kaiser who specifically always demands his managers to reserve a spot for you at every single one of his games.

you always go to support him, with him insisting he needs you there as some sort of “lucky charm” (he won’t actually admit he thinks those superstitions are bullshit), so imagine his shock when he finds out that your seat is empty on the day of one of the most important games of the season—the game that will decide who gets to compete in the german cup.

it’s ten minutes before the game starts and despite his coach’s pep talk to the team, all kaiser can focus on is your empty seat and the absolute betrayal you’ve bestowed upon him, your supposed “best friend.”

he hasn’t realized it—nor will he admit it if he ever were to come to such an epiphany—stubborn as he is, but the reason as to why he does so well in games that you’re present at is because of the fact it gives him more motivation to win and impress you rather than just solely being dependent on the faces of despair from his opponents. a unique sort of euphoria that he gets whenever he can spot you jumping up and down in your seat with his number #10 jersey on, that your praise belongs to him and him only.

so when he steps out on to the field and sees that your seat is still collecting dust, he seethes silently to himself, gritting his teeth, pissed that he even called you his best friend to begin with. because what sort of friend doesn’t show up to one of the most important games in germany’s football?!

he’s still planning to win, of course. he’s michael kaiser—he’s famous for doing so. and he plans to use all his rage that you’ve caused to do so, just in spite of you.

because he’s michael kaiser, number ten of bastard mündchen. he doesn’t need your help. he never did.

(see, what he doesn’t know is that you’re simply home sick with a cold and that you’re still dressed in his jersey, just also with a sweater and bundles of blankets on top to stay warm, but regardless, you’re still watching and cheering him on from behind the tv screen. you’ve sent him some texts and voicemails telling him so, but none have received a reply back yet and you can only imagine what this drama queen has in store for you once he wins the match.)

[tiger-grace]

Dick: oh no, is that a gray hair?

Steph, shaking her head sadly: twink death

Dick: nevermind, must be from the dog!

Cass, raising an eyebrow: twink immortality?

[homkamiro]

See evil, hear evil, speak evil

[thngsfrmthvd]

[j4c0b-j4c0bs]

can yall believe its been 2 years since that other one