#is it clear that I’m actually at the break up scene? and rewatching it to just SEE IT. AND ANALYZE IT. it’s just SO SAD OKAY???

[fenharel-babe]

I find it so sad that during the break up scene, he really just pours his heart out to Lavellan. He says how she’s beautiful, unique, and I know he doesn’t say it, but she’s able to literally make him almost forget his plans, make him feel like a normal man. And I still love that even if Lavellan keeps the vallaslin, Solas doesn’t show hate or be rude about it! Lavellan is hesitant to tell him no because she doesn’t want to upset him or hurt his feelings, so she goes about it slow.

“I know you told me this because you wanted to help, but the vallaslin is part of who I am. I hope you can see past—”.

“Stop. You are perfect exactly as you are.”

He accepts it, doesn’t pressure her, and reassures her that he still sees her and not the marks. He just sees her.

But when the marks are taken off, he looks happy (or relieved maybe?) and tells her how she is free. She’s always technically been free, but now he thinks she is truly free from something cruel. He remembers what he told the other elves, the elves he tried to save.

And I think about that one theory that when he looks at her with such love and remembers what he wanted to tell her, he snaps out of it. He loves her and he told her. Truly told her in words and not just actions. He spoke his own truth and realized that it was too much. He loves her too much, and he could see that she loves him, too. I think Lavellan literally saying, “I love you,” hurts him even worse because now he definitely knows she feels the same.

They both feel love and it’s strong, but still. He pulls away because her face, her entire being, and his entire reason for bringing her there makes him remember that he can’t do it. He can’t love her and drag her into another big mistake. He wanted to tell the truth to her, but my heart always likes the sad idea of him being afraid of being so close to her and having her truly hate him. Hate him for what he is, so he hid. He had another truth to tell her if he got scared, so he chose that path instead.

And he chose to leave her, even if it would break both of them.

And don’t think he doesn’t know what will happen when he goes back to Skyhold. You think he doesn’t know about her relationship with the others? How protective Dorian is of her, how Varric takes in little details about her and cares about her more than he lets on, Bull trusting her even if she is a mage and abandoning the Qun partly because of her, Cole being happier around her and wanting to help both of them but ultimately choosing her, Vivienne looking down on him even more and telling Lavellan that she deserves better and actually letting her walls down to comfort her dear friend, Cassandra’s disgusted grunts he thought only Varric would receive on occasion, he senses Sera’s pranks or even catches her doing some of them and they’re not just pranks, no, they’re definitely some dangerous ones to cause harm, and Blackwall no longer speaking to him as a friend or acting as if they could’ve gotten along he just gives him dirty glances and refuses to speak to him unless he has to.

He knows this, and I always imagine a part of him is a little happy knowing that she has people by her side, people (other than soldiers and workers) caring for her well being and doing everything to make her happy. Not just for the inquisition, but for HER. He knows it will happen, and I think that also adds to his guilt and pain even more. He may not have been close to all of them, but he held certain respect to them (maybe except Vivienne or Sera) and actually did care about their well being, but now the relationship is broken and damaged because of how much he loves Lavellan and how much she loves him, and how stupid he is.

And Solas may be good at hiding the truth and such, but when he breaks up from Lavellan and the emotional choice is chosen, he backs away from her and avoids her hands even if she reaches out for him, and literally turns around and walks away so…brokenly. His face is just completely showing his sadness and how he regrets his decision but has to do it. He can’t even keep the mask up anymore, and it falls and he kinda looks like he’s about to fall to his knees from emotion.

Is it to beg for forgiveness from her? Maybe. Is it falling to his knees to cry out his pain and regret at what he has broken? Most definitely. If he let it happen anyway.

It’s just SO MUCH PAIN.

My thoughts are in a rush and not making too much sense, but each time I see the break up scene and see Solas kiss her and grab her butt and then break up with her even if she begs him not to leave and how he BROKENLY WALKS AWAY makes me so sad. I just think about it a lot.

But how y’all doing? Hope you’re doing great.

[dhmis-tinhatter]

elaborating on my “jax isn’t an asshole he just acts like one” post, i want to talk about a particular scene in the pilot. i’ve seen a lot of people call him a jerk for lying to kinger and gangle about kaufmo being okay, and then throwing the bowling ball at them to push them into the hole. i didn’t understand why he did these things at first, but after a few rewatches i think that jax was trying to protect them.

look at jax’s reaction when he finds out that kaufmo has abstracted. he’s clearly scared and concerned.

but he quickly covers up his worry and goes back to acting like he doesn’t care. it’s like he’s trying to keep up the appearance of being a jerk so that people don’t expect anything different. it’s a persona.

the next time we see him is when he finds kinger and gangle looking at the hole in the floor. they ask how kaufmo is doing, and jax says “oh, he’s doing great. in fact, i don’t think i’ve ever seen him this happy before.” this seems like a weird thing to lie about, especially since he knows kinger and gangle will find out what happened to kaufmo eventually, but i think that jax saw how worried they (especially gangle) were about kaufmo and didn’t want to stress them out more.

while kinger is expressing relief that kaufmo “hasn’t completely lost his mind,” there is a sound off in the distance that makes jax turn around. he looks worried because he know’s it’s abstracted kaufmo.

jax knows that they need to get out of there before kaufmo arrives, but the others don’t know what happened to kaufmo, so he has no way to explain to them why they need to leave. so, instead, he throws the bowling ball and knocks them into the hole before jumping in after them.

i’m not entirely sure yet why he keeps up this persona of being a jerk, but it is clear to me that it is a persona. that paired with the fact that he breaks the fourth wall earlier in this episode makes me think that he may be more aware of what’s going on than the other characters are. maybe he acts like he doesn’t care what’s going on so that nobody suspects he actually knows more than he’s telling.

[nutellaninja0001]

I’ll have to admit, I truly thought I was done talking about this but here I am to say once again, the conflict between Sansa Stark and Daenerys Targaryen in season 8 was not “out of nowhere” it was not “pointless drama” and it was not “Sansa was just being a bitch” I started thinking about this debate again when I rewatched a recap video of GoT 5 years later. The creator went on to talk about how it didn’t make sense for Sansa to “not trust Daenerys” but why exactly SHOULD Sansa have trusted Daenerys?

I’m going to go over some points again just to break it down to the most basic level.

At this point in the series, it would be dumb for any Lord/Lady in Sansa’s position to openly trust a newcomer. Dany already had a reputation. She had dragons, an army known for its cruelty and the other for its pillaging/raping. Even if Jon had warned Sansa he bent the knee to Dany there isn’t one scene Jon actually vouches for Dany as a good or trustworthy person. Sansa only had what she might have heard about Dany whether that was burning lords or sacking cities. She only ever had Jon telling Sansa they need Dany to survive. Either way, why would Sansa want that coming to her doorstep? Fans point out time and time again how Foolish Ned was for trusting the wrong people. They just felt different because this time it was Dany.

Daenerys shows little interest in the actual preparations for winter/survival of Winterfell beyond her affections for Jon. Dany outright admits to Sansa Jon is the only reason she is here. Why would Sansa want to hand over a Kingdom she fought and suffered for to Dany, considering she sees it as yet another conquest on her list. If anything doesn’t make sense, to me it’s why Dany didn’t mind if the Iron Islands were independent but the North couldn’t be?

Sansa’s desire for northern independence wasn’t a season off arc she forgot about. It was a consistent character arc that pushed her from hopeful southern Queen to Queen of the North. Dany from day 1 made it clear that would never be under her rule.

Sansa asked some real questions as a ruling Lady while Dany tried to charm Sansa and it didn’t work. I think it was one of the only consistent writing choices made in season 8 considering this arc for Sansa reclaiming/coming home had started back in season 4. What did fans expect from Sansa? Both characters as I’ve said before were MEANT to be in conflict. Both women had been fighting for a long time to be in the positions they were. Neither were going to let that go or because Jon and Dany were together. I don’t even think we would’ve gotten as much of a debate had it been Arya speaking out against Dany but I’m glad it was Sansa as fans really thought she was going to up and serve Dany. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Let’s also please remember that after Sansa asked what Robb, Jon, Mance, The Wildlings, Yara and Dorne all asked. To be ruled as their own Kingdom. I gotta say, since it was Sansa as the main driving force for Northern independence in the last seasons fans made it out to be Sansa was once again, just being stupid. I never see the same arguments used against any of the other characters who wanted/died for the same thing. Even when Dany was outright threatening Sansa in the middle of her own Home

Why did Dany say this again? Because Sansa asked how they were to feed 3 large dragons in the middle of Winter. How they were going to feed Dany’s armies. Yet I never saw many fans argue Dany’s behavior to Sansa. She was a guest at Winterfell. Hoping to make good alliances and instead acted like this. You will never catch me defending most of the writing of GoT in season 8 but this was not one of them. The conflict started the minute Dany expected the North to bend and the minute Sansa said they will be an independent Kingdom

[mamasplat]

i was on vacation- the aggression chart???? lmao

nicee 👍👍 loving the work

also the themed playthroughs seem fun :)

Oh I’m having a great time with my true calem run, just got through shalour city

And while I’ve yet to piece together the aggression chart I will use this as an opening to break down the relationship chart that started as an unholy consequence of me trying to fit calem into anime plots

Starting from the top:

Shauna having feelings for Calem is something that is laid on very thick in the firework scene. Anime wise I almost linked Shauna to Serena too but I ended up backing off the idea because I was lacking evidence.

Tierno, i don’t think i need to explain this much if you’ve watched the anime, his crush on Serena was something he was very open about.

Miette, I actually don’t think she had a thing for Ash, like at all, she does not try to pursue him at all in the anime she just likes to talk about it, it’s a tool to get under Serena’s skin. But that alone would make her a valued piece of the unholy love triangle amalgamation so I added her to the chart.

Calem, specifically, Rival Calem: okay I think I need to explain this one a little more blatantly. Calem’s character arc cannot exist without Serena. His entire journey is dedicated to her mere existence, and pokemon masters really hammers home how important she is to him. She is the blueprint to his every move and step forward because in his mind she deserves better than he can offer so he will fight to be better. The way he talks about her when she isn’t around is unapologetic admiration and I cannot ignore the writing on the wall. He likes her. He’s got it bad.

Serena, specifically anime Serena of course. Her emotional attachment to Ash isn’t just surface level like Tiernos attraction to her, being around Ash gave her the courage to be herself, to stand up to her mom and make her own future, to keep going even when she’s lost and lost hard. She used Ash as a moral compass to keep her head in the game and that only strengthened her connection to him. The end of the series kiss scene was far from unwelcomed, it was over due.

Ash….this boy is oblivious as shit. I’m sorry Serena was not sly nor slick she fumbled at every turn and you STILL didn’t know??? I and from what I can see, many other fans, have come to the only conclusion that Ash just doesn’t do romance. He has ignored so many clear cut love interests and left them one sided because he doesn’t recognize or want romance. He just wants to be the best like no one ever was, love isn’t on his mind, therefore he is clueless to the love induced war going on around him. He is an unintentional ladies man.

And ALLLL of that is just the information i collected from rewatching the whole of X&Y while also replaying through pokemon X and ALSO going through pokemas events. Its all connected, i haven’t done anything else with my free time, its all kalos baby. ALL KALOS.

Blame Pokemon ZA being announced (I say as if I hadn’t started this before that)

[lis-likes-fics]

Haunted Eyes

Pairings: Eddie Munson x gf!Reader Word Count: 2.5k words Warnings: Mentions of murder, mutilation, lots of crying honestly, hurt/comfort fic, swearing... A/N: This was supposed to be a drabble... Like 1k max. But I uhhh... I got a little carried away. I was rewatching Stranger Things and this scene hurt more than usual so, of course, I wrote about what I wanted to do. This was entirely impromptu. Not an ounce of planning went into this and I think it makes it more ridiculous that I wrote two point five thousand fucking words. Anyway, enjoy.

You made them bring you. Which wasn’t really a hard thing to do.

It was early in the morning at the beginning of the break when you called the trailer. When you got no answer the first time, you called again to meet the same response: none. So you kept calling. Something was wrong. Eddie or Wayne always answered you, and there was no reason someone shouldn’t have been home.

When the phone finally picked up, it wasn’t the response you were expecting.

Your relief was instantly squashed. “This is Officer Callahan with Hawkins Police, who is this?” His irritation was clear.

Your mouth was dry when you answered, your voice hesitant and slow. You gave your name, wrapping the phone cord around your hand in circles on circles on circles, unwrapping only to begin the cycle again. “I’m Eddie’s girlfriend.”

“Oh, good,” he said slowly. “We actually needed to talk to you. Could you come down to the station today?” There’s a pause. “Or you might as well just come down here.”

You swallowed thickly, clearing your throat when you remembered to answer. “Um, w-why? Where– Where is Eddie?”

“Just come down.” He hung up the phone.

You listened to the drone of the line for a long time before you hung it back up. With fear and anxiety curling in your belly, you had no other line of action other than to do as you were told.

When you got to the trailer park, it was a hassle even getting through the entrance. There’s police everywhere, and plenty of bystanders to boot. You feel naked when you step out of your car and make yourself walk the rest of the way to Eddie’s place. The self-consciousness dissipates when you get closer and closer to the familiar home and are met with more police and people, caution tape and red and blue lights everywhere you turn. You practically sprint toward the scene.

“What’s happening?” you ask frantically, easily noticing the glances and glares from the crowd. You’re used to them, being Eddie’s girl and all. You speak quickly, ignoring them all for the sake of finding an answer. “What’s going on? Can you let me through? I’m his girlfriend, Callahan told me to come down here. Hey!”

A couple of officers finally let you pass, but they didn’t let you anywhere near the actual trailer. Officer Callahan and Sheriff Powell pulled you aside, sitting you at a picnic table away from the scene. Glancing over your shoulder, you could see Wayne. He was watching you, an unreadable expression on his face only broken when he turned away to rub at his face.

They sat you down, seeming very intimidating with the way they watched you. What you noticed first was the suspicion, the awaiting accusations you were preparing to fight.

“What’s going on?”

“Before we answer any of your questions,” Sheriff Powell begins, “we’re gonna need you to answer some of ours.”

Their questions were absurd. Where were you last night? Were you with Eddie? Do you know where Eddie was? Were you involved in Eddie’s “business”? Do you know Chrissy Cunningham? Were you friends? They never stopped, and you failed to see how it was relevant until you knew what was going on.

And then they dropped a fucking bomb on you.

“We just saw Chrissy Cunningham dead—mutilated—in the Munson trailer. Your boyfriend is our top suspect. Do you need to be added as an accessory?”

You hated to admit that you started crying. As soon as you got past the shocked face and the gasp, you began to cry. And it wasn’t a cute little cry made of delicately wiped tears and tiny sniffles, it was a fully bent over sob that shook through your body and ached all the bad feelings in your gut with no chance of relief.

They looked uncomfortable.

“Do you think Eddie Munson would be capable of something like this?” they tried asking through your tears.

You stood up immediately, ignoring the sobs like they weren’t there so you could speak, and make sure they heard you.

“If you really think you can look me in the eyes and seriously ask me if Eddie Munson is capable of cold blooded murder, then you’re a goddamn idiot, and you’re a bigger one than I ever thought you’d be, at that.” You wiped angrily at your tears, keeping your distance but ensuring every word counted. “Eddie is the best person I’ve ever known, and he could never do something like this. Ever.”

Callahan, entirely unconvinced, spoke up. “Do you even know where your boyfriend is right now? He certainly hasn’t come forward.”

You rolled your eyes, turning on him. “If you were the number one town pariah, and something like this happened in your home, would you want to come forward knowing that you would be the only person anyone ever believes is responsible?” Again, you wiped your face to be rid of the extra tears. A heavy sigh ripped from your chest as you struggled to breathe. “You seem to have it all figured out. If you know Eddie so well, why don’t you go fucking find him yourself? Are we done?”

When they finally released you, you stormed to your car and all the way down the road. But it was hard to see past the tears. You pulled off to the shoulder and into the trees surrounding the place. You sat there for a long time, and you sobbed.

~

You got a call almost as soon as you got home. It scared the living shit out of you, but you answered it with as much annoyance as you could muster. “Hello?”

The voice that said your name was so full of relief, and it honestly offered some for you, too. “It’s Dustin, I’m at the Family Video with Max. We need you immediately?”

“Why?” you asked quickly. “Wait, is this about Eddie? Do you know where he is?”

“Just come down immediately!” He hung up the phone as soon as his last word was finished, and you were just as quick to grab your stuff and go.

~

What Max had told you was utter insanity, but you had no other choice than to believe her because everyone seemed just as serious as her when she said it. It only worsened your anxiety. You didn’t know how you were supposed to live like that.

As though the cop’s questioning before wasn’t frustrating enough, they asked you a million more just to figure out if you knew where Eddie was. But you didn’t. He left you no clues. He just disappeared, and that made you more nervous than anything. Eddie tells you everything. The idea of being so in the dark makes you want to cry again, but you can’t. If you want to find him, you have to stay focused.

All the phone calls were the grueling part of the search, but when you finally arrived at Reefer Rick’s place, you were a buzzing ball of worry.

The good thing was that you felt like you were getting closer to finding Eddie.

The shed was really fucking dark. It’s darker than you last remember it being, but to be fair, the last time you were here, it wasn’t pitched black and you weren’t worried your boyfriend was dead.

“Hello?” Robin’s voice was quiet when she walked into the room. You were almost too scared to talk as you shone your flashlight at everything that looked like a shadowy beast in the darkened room.

Your attention was drawn quickly to Steve when he jabbed a wooden oar at a tarp covering contents in a tiny boat. “What are you doing?” Dustin gawked, his question more demanding the second time.

Steve shrugged, still bracing the oar. “He might be in there.”

“So take the tarp off.”

Your voice was a harsh whisper, still afraid of the things hiding in the dark, when you spoke. “I swear to God, if you’re beating him up right now…”

He ignored you, still jabbing. You huffed and rolled your eyes, watching closely for any kind of movement.

Max’s gentle voice rose around the corner where Robin stood next to her. “Someone’s been here.”

“Maybe he heard us,” Robin suggested. “Got spooked and ran.”

“Don’t worry,” Dustin smiled cheekily. “Steve will get him with his oar.”

“I know you think you’re being funny, Henderson, but considering the fact that almost everyone in this room has nearly died about a hundred times, personally, I don’t find it funny in the slightest–”

Everyone was shouting when someone jumped out of the boat and forced Steve against the wall, a glass bottle to his throat. You recognized him immediately, and the relief that flushed through your system was almost thrilling, like breathing for the first time in days—if you hadn’t been so fucking terrified, it would have been sweeter.

The commotion was loud. Everyone’s hands were raised in peace and surrender. Dustin takes the lead, his voice overcoming everyone’s until he’s the only one speaking.

“It’s me. It’s Dustin.” He gestured toward Steve, where his heavy breath was heard over the sound of Dustin’s voice. “This is Steve. He’s not gonna hurt you. Right, Steve?”

Steve’s movements were stiff as he agreed. “Right. Yeah.”

You held your hands to your face, worried about the glass shards to Steve’s neck. If Eddie gets scared enough, that murder charge might actually come true…

“Steve, why don’t you drop the oar?”

Steve reached his arm out, holding out the oar on its end and letting go. As it clattered to the floor, Eddie’s grip on the bottle tightened, spooked by the sound. Everyone reacted. The fear was palpable.

“He’s cool!” Dustin shouted. “He’s cool!”

“I’m cool,” Steve whispered.

When you heard Eddie’s voice, it came with a strange type of consolation. “What are you doing here?”

“We’re looking for you.”

Robin nods quickly, “We’re here to help.”

Your voice is soft when you speak up, like a bid goodnight. “Eddie, honey…” you give what little smile you can, taking the tiniest step forward.

Eddie’s gaze snapped to you just then. You noticed this is the first moment he actually realized you were there. At the sight of you, the slightest tension in his grip eased, though not enough to allow anyone else that kind of ease. The wild fear in his eyes, masked by scared rage, was finally offered an ounce of reprieve.

“Eddie, these are my friends,” Dustin continued. “You know Robin, from band.” She holds up her hands, imitating a trumpet.

“This is my friend, Max. The one who never wants to play DND?” Max gave a little wave.

Dustin gestured toward you, especially insistence with his words. “And your girlfriend? You definitely know her.”

You raised your hand to wave at him, a slow and gentle movement. “Hey, honey…” The hesitant smile you gave offers comfort. His eyes stayed glued to you until Dustin’s voice cut in again.

“Eddie,” he said gently. “We’re on your side.” When he didn’t let up, Dustin became more urgent. “I swear on my mother!” Eddie looked away. “Right, guys?”

A round of agreements filled the room, consisting of mumbles of “yes, yes” and “Dustin’s mother”.

Eddie’s hard gaze bore into Steve, debating in his mind his options. You all held your breaths, anticipating his next move and hoping it was good.

You just wanted to hold him.

Eddie let go of Steve, who let out a heavy sigh as he caught his breath, calming his heavy heart. You were the first one to break from the group, walking slowly toward Eddie with silent feet. You held your hands up for him to see as he backed against the wall, slowly sliding down with his arms wrapped around himself.

The sight of it hurt you, your heart beating heavily in your chest. He looked so…disturbed, so truly horrified by the thoughts in his head. The look on his face was blank as he stared off into space.

“Eddie?” you mumbled, lowering in front of him so you were propped on your knees. His eyes slowly, with a plenty of struggle, lifted up to see you. You held out your arms.

Eddie launched himself into your embrace, and you were just as eager to wrap him in it. He squeezed you tight, you squeezed him tighter, so afraid that if you let go of one another, that someone would disappear.

“Ohmygod,” you muttered breathlessly into his unruly hair, pulling him in close as scared and relieved tears fell from your eyes. “I was so fucking worried about you, baby. You just disappeared, I thought you were hurt. Please don’t scare me like that again.”

You pulled him back only far enough to cradle his face in your hands, screwed up in strained pain as he held back his tears, still holding you so tight. You kissed all over his face—his nose, his cheeks, his forehead, his eyelids, his lips three times. Without the groundedness he needs, he just basked in your comfort, and you didn’t fault him for a moment in failing to give it back. He was here and he was alive, that’s all you needed.

You pressed your forehead against his. “I love you, honey,” you promised breathlessly.

He nodded, his hands flexing at your side. You pulled him into you again, your bodies flush against one another as you hold on for dear life. His response was strained but you knew it was the truth. “I love you, too.” You felt him actively melt against you, his body molding with yours as some of the tension is traded for your pure comfort. His next words are an even quieter, more broken whisper. “Fuck, sweetheart, I’m sorry.”

“S’okay,” you murmured. “S’okay. You’re okay.”

When you were forced to pull back, you sat at his side with your arms still around him, his hands all over you for the sake of keeping his feet on the ground. The way he needed you next to him was such a raw feeling, one of the things that sat at the base of your being, a core instinct.

Dustin and Robin knelt before him, and you, just as calm and gentle as before.

“Eddie,” Dustin said softly. “We just…want…to talk.”

Robin offered a little smile. “We wanna know what happened.”

He tensed against you. You placed a hand on his cheek, pulling his face over to kiss his cheek. His hand flexed at your back. He turned to you, his brown eyes so dark with whatever was haunting him, but still that liquid chocolate you knew and loved. He grabbed your hand on his cheek, turning back to them as he stroked his thumb over the back of your palm.

His voice was broken and defeated when he spoke, still sniffling as he struggled to hold back tears. “You won’t believe me.”

Gripping her flashlight, Max shrugged lightly. “Try us.”

His brows furrowed a bit. He looked to you for support, and you pressed your lips to his shoulder. “S’okay,” you whispered again. He swallowed thickly, nodding in miniscule little movements. His gaze found your hands when you grabbed his and intertwined his fingers with your own and squeezed them. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. He squeezed back.

Stranger Things taglist: @activebliss @queermaxwooo @life-on-needs @killerqueen-ofwillowgreen @emmalee-01 @sw34ter-w34ther @gublur @allofmaris @redwineandnicotine @the-cryptid @katsukis1wife @chaoticcancer @papichulo120627 @emistrash @jjmaybankswifes-blog @thegr8estpuff @lover-of-books-and-tea @xxhanililoxx

Eddie the Banished taglist: @eddiiiieeee @hb8301 @queermaxwooo @lovemegood @munsaniac @digital-charlie @eiriancrow @littleblondesoprano @alexxavicry @samz31 @sparkletash @fandomgirl17 @marjoriea13 @akiratoro420 @mewchiili @mischieftom

Tag yourself here...

[mybrainproblems]

hello, i'm finales georg...

i don't want to further clutter up the notes on this post while responding to the tags below but the persistence of the "finale is short/scenes are missing/extra ad break” conspiracies drives me absolutely bananas when i've watched the finale ten times and have posted about this A LOT trying to clear things up. (disclaimer that yes, i'm a goddamn destiel shipper but i care about Facts above all.)

ok but this is weird because i'd swear the episode was shorter (11 missing scenes!) but okay. maybe we all mandela effected ourselves into #beleving that. because it felt shorter. but i will die on the hill that it had another ad break. i understand this person has the thing #recorded with ads so i am thinking maybe different ad breaks in different idk time zones??? #because the finale did air an hour earlier in canada so maybe idk i am reaching here but maybe different states or whatever had different #ad breaks??? as for the last minute changes - wasn't the cover band asked for permission to use their version of carry on like a week before #the thing aired??? so even if the episode was 42 minutes and had no additional ad break - which i am side eying but lets say all was normal #i will always say they were changing thing until the absolute last minute (carry on my wayward son X 2 #the crew on the bridge which is not only giant 4th wall breaking but also wow they really got all those people in one place in times of #covid???) #anyway. tinfoil hat stays on sorry guys :/ (via @officialmisha)

short and snarky: there are plenty of real and sourced examples of network homophobia and scripted/directed destiel scenes being cut to point to. we don’t need to make this stuff up just bc the finale wasn’t what we wanted. so it’s not the mandela effect — it’s ppl repeating a conspiracy/rumor bc it supports their narrative and it’s easier and more fun to repeat something that supports a narrative they already believe (misha or something destiel was cut) vs the boring act of fact checking.

longer circumspect answer with links bc like many ppl i am in my debunking era and i rewatched "roblox_oof" last night.

like i said. i've watched the finale ten times. i’ve gone over the episode with a fine toothed comb and posted a detailed breakdown of timing marks on my blog. it’s actually extremely obvious where the ad breaks are once you know roughly where to look for them (they have a longer fade to black instead of a quick cut scene change). there’s no room for extra ad breaks and i think this conspiracy/rumor persists in part bc the episode feels so sparse in terms of cast and the fact that the episode’s momentum hits a barn post (and rebar) less than 20min into an hour-long programming block.

also i’m begging ppl to actually look at that timing mark post. it’s very straightforward and i spent a lot of time on it. i don’t care if ppl plagiarize it at this point if it means this conspiracy stops. i've got almost every second accounted for.

the "eleven missing scenes" that you're thinking of are probably from the finale script of questionable authenticity that @spnscripthunt acquired back in 2021 which can be found here. it's dated as the “final draft” from 11 sep 2020 and filming on 15x20 wrapped on 10 sep 2020. as noted at the bottom of this superwiki page "[the] script came from someone claiming to have been the person who did the closed captions for the show in Russia. There are some indications that it possibly may not be authentic, but this has not been confirmed."

if we go with the possibility that this was a transcript meant for subtitles, the "omitted" scenes were probably written but never filmed since it's the "final draft" and not a color revision (blue, green, yellow, etc). unfortunately, i’ve lost track of where i read it and a preliminary duckduckgo search isn’t bringing it up bc there's a program for script writing called final draft, but iirc the “final draft” version of a script is a transcript of what was filmed (e.g. there are parts of that 15x20 script that ended up being deleted scenes on the DVD). spnscripthunt also has an example of a confirmed final draft for 09x02 (funnily enough, also a dabb-penned ep). if anyone can confirm with a source that i have the purpose of the “final draft” version designation wrong, please let me know! i love being proven wrong with Facts.

i do want to acknowledge that the two “final drafts” do look different from each other and the 15x20 one doesn't look like a “real” final draft script since it lacks the revision/versioning dates that a script would normally have on the cover page. it could be that it was intended for subtitles; there's the chance it's been re-typed to anonymize it if there was anything indicating who the "owner" was, tho that seems a wee bit cloak and dagger to me. and again: it's considered of questionable authenticity. there are some things that don't quite line up but oh dear god i don't want to get even further out into the weeds than i already am.

i won't disagree that it's weird as hell that neoni only got asked about using their cover seven days prior to the episode airing (tiktok here). my personal theory is that they were hoping to get a more expensive song (maybe a zepp song, idk) and didn't manage to secure the rights in the end. again: this is pure conjecture on my part! but i could absolutely see someone working on the show hearing neoni’s cover and liking it and then maybe they were using it as a placeholder until it got down to the wire and they had to make a call/send the ep to networks. because yes, it is baffling they played a song and then a cover of it with only a 40 second break between. (i do actually really like the neoni cover! the placement is just weird and i think it could have worked if they had the kansas version at the beginning and closed with neoni's full cover.)

as to the 4th wall break COVID stuff: robert singer talked with variety magazine about filming the last two episodes and the logistics of filming during a pandemic. whether they should have been filming during a pandemic is a separate discussion but their use of office vs set pods, strict quarantining and daily testing meant that they had zero positive tests in the month they were filming (18 aug to 10 sep). so given all that, i personally don’t think it’s totally out of pocket to have everyone standing outdoors on a bridge for maybe an hour to get a drone shot of them together. (i won’t get into incubation periods and viral load, but if everyone tested negative that day and every day for a month prior, it was a fairly low risk scene to film outdoors and for all we know everyone was masked until the last possible second. there were plenty of outdoor masked protests in 2020 that weren't superspreader events.)

and before anyone brings up “but misha was in vancouver!” i know someone who looked into it and they said no dice, nothing matched up between the backgrounds in those pics and places in vancouver. his statements about “us” going back to set over the summer were pretty generic in hindsight and “we”/"us" could be him or the spn crew generally. unfortunately i’m not able to find those tweets but the use of “we” was likely so as not to give away he wouldn’t be returning to set. (bc we were absolutely casbaited!) and bc it comes up a lot: the "onion field pic" was from when they were filming 15x17 and was not taken while filming 15x19 and 15x20.

besides, it would be ridiculous to go through the financial and logistical headaches of bringing someone into the country to film during a pandemic, only to cut their scenes in the end! honestly, the script is pretty tight when the scenes are given so much breathing room! the only thing i could see being further cut down is The Monologue and even then, i don’t think there was any intent to cut it down given it was filmed in fairly long takes.

i’ve said it many times before, but i believe the finale was fucked long before they returned to set. walker got the green light in sep 2019 and it was being marketed heavily as a “follow on” show to spn given jared’s involvement. the demo they were courting for walker has little to no overlap with the demo for destiel fans — why would they want a finale that catered to a demo they weren't interested in courting? we just went through a historic double strike that exposed so much of the rot of business interests overriding creative vision. this isn't completely unfounded conjecture.

i will not apologize for the length of this bc i wanted to be thorough, but i do want to give context that i think the reason these conspiracies and rumors grind my gears so much is because anyone can fact check all of this. the truth is out there and absolutely none of it is that hard to find. the most time consuming/difficult part of this was finding someone who had a DVR’d copy of the finale from when it aired live and they actually found me themselves after i’d been low key asking around for a year!

and like. i get it. conspiracies are fun. but there are so many sourced instances of network homophobia and destiel being cut that it's like. why is this something folks are hanging onto? the cw is notorious for having upper level meddling with finales bc there's a follow-on show they want to shuffle fans along to and spn is no exception.

[brass-tacked]

was he also too suicidal to recognize that buck had come along way from where he was in season 1? was he also not in his right mind when he told hen "you got this" to her ease anxieties over adopting mara? or when he told her that all she had to do was welcome mara into her family when she was worried about mara never having felt a part of a family? or when he noticed ravi didn't need help with the hoses anymore? or when he told buck that he was on his game that night or letting him cook for the team, or telling him the food was good?

that argument doesn't make any sense unless you're also saying that nothing bobby says in that episode counts or matters? the point of that scene was to show these characters have grown through the under bobby. the point of the bobby and buck scene was bobby telling buck that he'd come along way and doesn't constantly need guidance anymore, which is true. also chimney, hen, eddie, and chris all love tommy. chim literally said "tommy is so cool." eddie literally said "i like him too." chris was gushing about how awesome tommy was off screen. bobby also openly liked tommy alongside hen and chim when he first met them in bobby begins, when hen, chim, and tommy were all getting drinks together. genuinely curious if you actually watch the show you're talking about or have you fallen victim to your own echo chamber? it's fine not to like a character, but it's very clear the show is trying to tell the audience that tommy is a good guy. like no amount of "b-b-but" is gonna change that. even if they do break up, he's never gonna be the villain you're creating in your head. all of the mains clearly approve of tommy, you just don't wanna hear it.

I’m not going to spend my night arguing with an anon. But I will say that the show does a pretty good job of showing how Tommy was not a good guy in the past. I’m not going to forgive a misogynistic racist.

Go rewatch the episode in season 3 where Buck befriends the retired firefighter who is all alone. When Buck asks Hen and Chim about their relationships with past members of the 118, they both admit that they aren’t friends with those guys, including Tommy. Chim straight up says he only called Tommy for help that one time because Tommy owed him a favor. That’s all. That’s the only reason they’d had any contact.

For the cruise ship episode, Hen wasn’t even trying to reach Tommy. She wasn’t even thinking of him.

But you know what the most important thing I’m going to say is? It’s that the best thing about consuming media is that we can all have different opinions and interpretations. We can all like different aspects of the same show, derive enjoyment and pleasure from it, and still never agree with each other.

Just like I’m never going to convince you that Tommy isn’t a good guy, you’re never going to convince me that he is.

So have a great night, enjoy your weekend, and let’s please agree to go to our separate corners of fandom in peace. You can also feel free to block me if you don’t like my opinion. It’s another great option to protect your own peace.

[mattbegins]

I’ve rewatched the scene with Bobby talking to Eddie so many times because it really reads like Bobby has some idea that what Eddie’s actually unknowingly struggling with is something in regards to his sexuality, and everything he talks about are things I had begun coming to terms with in the last two weeks as I’ve questioned my own sexuality so this conversation was really personal to me because hearing Bobby lay that out for Eddie immediately resolved my own crisis and now I’m certain I’m not bi- I’m gay (and demi). Which is a huge thing for me to realize because I’ve identified as bi ever since I started dating 8 years ago. But Eddie’s struggle and confusion makes all the sense in the world to me because I had/have the same questions as him and struggled to reconcile the clear feelings and care I had for women/femme presenting people I’ve dated, but I always felt like I was playing a part (“performing” as Eddie called it) and while I knew the lines and cues and it was easy to do, something was always missing. I felt like I was doing something ‘right’ and there was a sense of relief in that, something adjacent to happiness, but it always came up short. I would love talking with and hanging out with these partners and had been good friends prior to dating, but driving home I would wonder why I didn’t feel giddy or whole. Why I could never initiate physical contact. Why I could only objectively acknowledge that they looked beautiful, but that never translated to attraction. Why I couldn’t imagine futures together. But I liked these people. I cared about them. It was confusing. And after each inevitable break up I questioned if I just wasn’t meant for relationships.

But when Bobby validated those feelings and pointed out that Eddie doesn’t have commitment issues in general, it only seems to apply to women in his life, I thought about my relationships with men. My two longest relationships lasted 6 months and 3 years respectively, and they were with other men. My last crush was on a man. Flirting with men comes easier, I feel more loose and giddy in a surprisingly enjoyable way, I become more charismatic and at ease, I can show physical affection and compliment, and when I think about the future- road trips and grocery runs, school pick ups and drop offs, falling asleep on the couch or in the passenger seat- I see that with another man.

I think of me, and I think of Eddie. He and Shannon were friends as children and were close for years before they started dating, but only got married because she was pregnant and there was strong religious influence and social factors pressuring them. He cared about her though, he liked her, just as he cared about and liked Ana and Marisol. Those base feelings are valid, but the extent to which they manifest is dissonant for him. The idea of these relationships never matches up to the reality. It’s a performance and it’s a role he’s uncomfortable playing but has gotten used to because he didn’t know how to question it and he’s already learned the lines and blocking. He expresses he prefers being single because he can just hang out with guys because it’s less complicated, but he’s not at the point of questioning the source of that ease. He can’t commit to his girlfriend moving into his house, but he can commit to making Buck the guardian of his son in his will. He forges infinitely stronger bonds with the men in his life and we see a side of him that’s less conflicted, more at ease, more honest and silly, and freer than any time he’s with a woman.

Eddie Diaz made me realize I’m gay, so yeah, I’m pretty certain he is too.

[on-till-morning]

The Final 15 Min: You’re a dark horse Mr Fell

Or: Azirawhy?

I’ve spent the better part of this weekend in bed with my cat, drinking cocoa, rewatching scenes from GO and reading and writing thousands of words of s2 meta, so first of all, thank you again Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaimon and this incredible fandom - you’re all geniuses and as a result I am literally living the dream. Secondly, after writing and rewriting my own extremely long meta a dozen times I’ve decided instead to link to the other metas that have essentially already said everything I wanted to say and condense my comments beneath them. I’ve also added my theories for season 3 based on my analysis of s2. However, despite my best intentions and having just using the word ‘condensed’ this turned out to be pretty long anyway, so you can find all this and more under the jump below.

My favorite possible explanations for the ending:

1) Aziraphale is lying to protect Crowley

I first found this theory here and here

And then it’s brilliantly explained with great attention to detail here. This piece includes SO many details that I had missed from the convo, referencing back to scenes from s1 as well as 2. Hats off and round of applause to this author. Just, wow.

I love this theory so much and a part of me wants it desperately to be canon - it explains away all of Azirphale’s foot-in-mouth shortcomings and cringey to downright horrifying wtf moments from the final scene, but after watching the final scenes 26495362893 times I’m landing more on the side that:

2) Az is being expertly manipulated by Metatron, and these shortcomings are all of his character flaws coming up and out in one horrible regurgitatation.

Extremely detailed and thorough multi piece meta going into exactly how Metatron is manipulating him and why it works here.

Briefer but also clear and thorough single post essay here.

3) Or some combination of the two.

Again, having watched this countless times I just do not buy that every single think Az says in the final scene is part of a master plan to deliberately break up with Crowley, but I do think

He’s as scared as he’s relieved/excited

And I don’t know if he’s actually relieved/excited but he’s definitely confused, surprised and increasingly panicked when Crowley insults him, turns down the offer and leaves, which is part of why I don’t think it’s entirely option #1

He is trying to stop the love confession or at least delay it for another time when Metatron is not standing right outside the door (hold that thought!)

And finally there are some lines that just don’t make sense, even from the angel who we’ve heard spout all kinds of nonsense about how “I am good and you are, unfortunately, evil.” Yes, I might buy that he might still think heaven is ultimately good and “the side of light” that’s just been run very poorly by “bad angels” who aren’t as good as Aziraphale at knowing what god really wants in the situation (as he tells himself in the Job episode). But “I’ll run it and you can be my second in command.”???? A blank stare at “if heaven ends life on earth it’ll be just as dead as if he’ll ended it”??? However, this brings me too…

The character arc we didn’t see

I love this post about expectations as a fandom and what we’re actually shown versus what we as ravenous shippers want and expect to see and couldn’t agree more.

What were we actually shown about Aziraphale and where he’s at with his repression and denial? Right in episode 1 Jim says “You know what it’s like when you don’t know anything at all and yet you’re totally certain that everything would be better if you were near one particular person?” and Aziraphale panics, jumps upright and begins backing away frantically while saying “NO. I have no idea what that feels like. What makes you say that?”

We haven’t seen Aziraphale have his come to Jesus moment yet (pun intended) in season 2. While we get to see Crowley hit over the head with the ‘holy shit this is romantic love’ anvil, Aziraphale has a different realization coming and we’ve already been told what it will be.

It’s not “they look at each other and realize they were made for each other.”

It’s “they realize they had misunderstood each other.”

I think in many ways Aziraphale is already unconsciously acting like they are a couple, possibly more so than Crowley, but we don’t see him acknowledge his feelings out loud. We see his evolution through the 3 mini episodes to go from everything is black and white to life and Crowley and even himself are made up of shades of gray, but apparently that wasn’t enough to finally seal the deal for his ultimate “realize they had misunderstood each other” moment, otherwise the season wouldn’t have ended the way it did. Despite how far he’s come he hasn’t fully yet come to terms with his deeply rooted belief that demons=bad or mostly bad and angels=good or at least better than demons. I think that those beliefs showed their face in the worst possible way during that final argument, and that’s part of why Crowley was such a hard no to the whole situation. It’s not just a no to going back to heaven as an angel, it’s also ‘I can’t believe you still think that way about me.’

I don’t, however, think Metatron knew things would go that deep. I don’t think he knows either of them very well at all, but he knows Crowley would never go back to being an angel and he felt confident enough to manipulate Aziraphale (once on his own) into proposing just that and then he pushed them together before Aziraphale could process anything and stood back and let the explosion happen.

There are a couple very well written posts already out there about how the problem is not so much miscommunication as it is fundamentally not agreeing, how deep down Aziraphale doesn’t like that Crowley is a demon and still thinks of him as the angel he was, and how Crowley twisted the knife in Aziraphale’s insecurities that I think all add up to spell out this story really well. To this I’ll add, I think they both condescend and in ways look down on each other. While still being very much in love. I want to keep this short so I’ll try to stick to one example: in the Job episode Crowley said “you’re an angel, you can’t be tempted” while obviously tempting him (“you’re an angel, I don’t think you can do the wrong thing”) which is gentle but also mocking, because Crowley is literally tempting him in that moment. Then there’s times when he’s less gentle (“how could someone so clever be so stupid?”). From Aziraphale we have endless examples of his “holier than thou” attitude. Yes I think some of it is part of their coded-spy-talk but when you say and behave a certain way for years let alone eons even if some part of you knows you’re joking it becomes real.

To sum up - in season 2 we got our realization that they were made for each other from Crowley for sure and maybe from Aziraphale - I mean, those were a LOT of heart eyes in the bookshop before Metatron arrived and the whole grabbing his arm thing when B talks about finding something better than choosing sides. But the realizing they’ve misunderstood each other is what we’ve been set up for in season 3 and I think the misunderstanding is on both sides.

Final thoughts:

The coffee or death metaphor as literal - YES. Both in the first time we see it where Michael is threatening death and Metatron arrives to offer coffee, and secondly when Aziraphale asks “where would I get my coffee” (I.e. not die) and Metatron answers by not answering and saying instead (summarized) “we know you’ve partnered with Crowley, come to heaven and he can be an angel again and you can work together - that’s where you’ll get your “coffee” (as opposed to the (false) other option which is death).

I don’t feel like enough’s been said about the final scene with Metatron in the elevator. His whole body sighs as if in relief and he gives Aziraphale A Look.

This whole body sigh sigh says to me “thank fuck I finally got this gd angel in the gd elevator” and the final look over at him seems to have a taste of “what trouble is this idiot going to cause me next?”

Oh Metatron, you have no idea 😈. Because Aziraphale is definitely planning something, from the second he heard the phrase “second coming.” We already know he would stop Armageddon alone if he has too.

Because it’s all about protecting for Aziraphale. Did anyone else think it was odd that Aziraphale, who was soooo keen and literally bouncing up and down with joy at having The Mystery of Jim/Gabriel to solve, suddenly switched to dropping the mystery entirely and it never comes up again? Then on one of my many rewatches I realized Aziraphale was 100% in detective mode until Shax casually mentions that Crowley is risking destruction for him, which is the first Aziraphale has heard of Crowley being in trouble. Michael Sheen gives us the eyebrow raise of infamy and seems pretty cool, calm and collected about it but Aziraphale then lies to Crowley about anything strange happening and goes on to then frantically plan the greatest shopkeepers and trade association monthly meeting of all time and never questions Gabriel about who else he was at the bar with and never mentions The New Clue again. He drops solving the mystery entirely and throws himself into the ball. Because he wants to dance with Crowley?!?!! 😍🥹🥰 Maybe. But if Nina and Maggie get together then heavens suspicions are allayed, and Aziraphale has just learned that Crowey’s entire existence is in danger. He can’t protect him from hell but he can try to get Maggie and Nina together and protect him from heaven. That doesn’t happen but what happens instead? THE Voice of god herself, the top of the bureaucracy, shows up and offers Aziraphale the very protection for Crowley that he just tried to Jane Austin into existence?! Regardless of whether he fully believed Metatron, partially believed, or is 100% playing him for a sucker, he believes going along with Metatron will protect Crowley as well as “make a difference.” Which one is the main goal and which the happy side effect? Is there a difference? Does Aziraphale have any conscious awareness over what he’s doing? I have no explanation for the bitter “I forgive you” and have not yet read a theory that resonates.

[rukbat3]

Babylon 5 Rewatch - Eyes

This is a post I originally wrote several years ago for Mark Oshiro’s Mark Watches blog. I don’t really plan to edit them before posting, so there may be some references that don’t make sense. If you see words that look like gibberish, they are actually rot13, which was our way of discussing spoilers. There are plugins you can install to decode the text (Cryptext is the one I use), or you can copy/paste to rot13.com, or just ignore it.

Sinclair to Garibaldi, on learning that someone has been asking questions about them: “Walk softly. The last thing we need is a corporate lawsuit.” Oh, Sinclair. Don’t you know by now you shouldn’t say things like that? You’re about to find out just how much worse it can get!

This episode isn’t really a favorite with the fandom, but I like it a lot. Granted, Gregory Martin’s (Colonel Ben Zayn) acting can get a little over the top sometimes, but I don’t really mind that. On the other hand, the episode features Lennier being adorable, as well as the appearance of Harriman Gray, a character I find charming, in an odd sort of way.

Harriman Gray is a fascinating character. You really end up learning a lot about him in this episode, much more than you do about Ben Zayn. He always wanted to join Earthforce growing up, but was prevented from doing so when his telepathic abilities manifested and he was forced to join Psi Corps. Now he is able to work with Earthforce, but he’ll always be an outsider, and I think it wears on him. You can see in his conciliatory attitude towards the B5 staff in this episode that he really just wants to be liked. (Plus, I’ve always rather thought he might have developed a bit of a crush on Ivanova. Poor Harriman. She’d eat you alive.) At the end of the episode he makes a choice between Sinclair and Ben Zayn, but he’s really choosing between the wishes of Psi Corps (in the form of Bester) and what is in the best interests of Earthforce. And he chooses Earthforce, the way he’s always wanted to.

[books] Uneevzna Terl'f pehfu ba Vinabin vf pbasvezrq ol gur svefg O5 gvr-va abiry, ohg V unq qrirybcrq gung urnqpnaba ybat orsber V ernq vg. V jnf npghnyyl irel fhecevfrq, ba yngre tbvat onpx naq erjngpuvat "Rlrf", gb qvfpbire gung gurer vf ab erny uvag bs nal ebznagvp vagrerfg va gur rcvfbqr vgfrys.

Garibaldi calls Sinclair “a by-the-book guy” at one point in this episode, and I may have scoffed a bit on first watch, but he’s kind of right? Sinclair may have come up with some out-of-the-box solutions to problems he’s encountered, but he has pretty consistently arrived at those solutions by turning the rules to his advantage in some way, as, indeed, he tries to do here as well.

But even though this episode is ostensibly focused on Sinclair, the real star is Ivanova. She goes through an entire emotional journey here, and while we are never too concerned about anything happening to Sinclair, for her the stakes feel real. Claudia Christian is so good at helping the viewer feel Ivanova’s emotions along with her, and Ivanova is usually so stoic that when she breaks down, as she does here, it makes the situation feel even more desperate. Also, that dream? How very dare you. WZF nyjnlf qbrf terng qernz frdhraprf.

Favorite scene: I’m tempted to pick anything with Lennier and the motorcycle in it, which I barely even mentioned, but it’s gotta be Ivanova coming to Sinclair’s quarters to try to resign. The friendship between them is so clear in this scene, and it manages to be at turns serious and funny and tender. And I love that Ivanova is able to feel comfortable enough with Sinclair to share such an intensely personal story about her mother. Somehow I get the feeling that’s something she doesn’t do lightly.

[andromeddog]

the way your draw uniforms tickly my brain very nicely, they always look amazing! do you have a specific source for reference pictures or have you drawn them so often now you don't need them that much anymore? xoxox- struggling artist who can't find good refs

hehehehe anon i love talking about uniforms so this ask is a real treat… this may get long so it’s going under a cut

first of all thank u for noticing i do really try to make the uniforms as accurate as possible. i spend a long time trying to figure out what specific coat/gun/boot/helmet/whatever people are wearing and what its purpose is…. thats really just googling around and clicking on links until i find something. luckily for band of brothers/ww2 related stuff theres a lot of interest and you can often find ppl on forums from like 2003 discussing the minutiae of gear that will point you in the right direction. ww1 related stuff is a bit harder to come by but i bought a full illustrated book to help with that lol

as for straight up references- pinterest is one of my main resources!! there are lots of pics of the boys from bob if that’s what you are specifically looking for (some boards i like are here and here.) these can be hit or miss sometimes if you’re looking for ref of a very specific thing, because they don’t always capture the angle of that bag or clear shot of a belt that you need.

if that’s the case then i just… rewatch the show lol. i have it downloaded on my phone through the amazon prime app so if im drawing a scene or looking for very specific reference i will literally go frame by frame to get what i need. i cannot tell you how many times ive watched this series just looking for reference. so many. too many??? for this secret santa piece im doing i have watched the same 10 second scene so many times that i can see it when i close my eyes. the bad thing about that is you cannot take screenshots (fuck you amazon prime) and also, it’s rly easy to get sucked into the show and spend an hour just watching it bc it’s a damn good show. i think ive watched the breaking point like 20 times by now bc of this. this is insane idk if you want to do this but if you are looking for straight up accuracy then it’s not a bad option

also, and this is not specific to uniforms, if you draw something enough the pieces will start to stick in your head… this happened to me with 1917 and ww1 british kits lol. i drew them so much they just stuck. knowing what layers are under a jacket, where a belt sits and what’s attached to it, the specific shape of a helmet (fuck you stahlhelms fuck you m1s AND FUCK YOU BRODIE HELMETS) and shit like that just comes with drawing them a lot. and also watching how they fit and move on an actual person is why rewatching the show is good. researching stuff also helps but i know ppl don’t always want to spend hours doing that shit if you’re just looking for a basic reference. but i’m rly into uniforms so that is fun for me!!

i’m realizing this is a lot but…… i like uniforms! thats part of why i like military history shit. its fun to think about how all the gear interacts and moves with a person! how different each country’s uniforms are and how they carry everything they need on their backs and how they change over the years! i just think its neat!

[feuqueerfire]

GMMTV 2024 Part 2 Showcase

GMMTV 2024 Part 1 Reaction

April 23, 2024

When I watched Part 1 I was barely into series and watched certain trailers that I thought might be interesting but this time I'm planning on watching it live and am so into watching shows again.

The actors I'm actively following right now are Fourth and Gemini, along with some Phuwin (and by extension PondPhuwin) but none of them are getting ship work. So I'm mostly just gonna be there for the stories and concepts we get (though I'm curious about the GemPrim series and what Fourth is gonna be in). I hope I'm really excited by some concept (like The Warp Effect) or a cast/ship (like a surprise one).

Anticipation Ranking:

My Top 3:

The Heart Killers (BL) [omg KhaoFirst (and Joongdunk) in a show directed by Jojo where they commit crimes and possibly are there for nefarious reasons etc]

The Ex-Morning (BL) [KristSingto + exes-to-lovers ahhhhh]

US (GL) [it seems so moody and angsty and I love Emi's face]

Okay I lied it's Top 4:

Thame-Po (BL) [love a celebrity/idol romance and the trailer is so good and also I'm suddenly invested in William/Est]

Interested, will watch if it turns out well:

Hide & Sis (ensemble, women-focus, by Snap25, dark)

Revamp (BL) [hope they do the supernatural aspect well]

The Dark Dice (ensemble) [Alice in Wonderland vibes, hope it's done well]

Only if they get glowing reviews:

Ossan's Love TH (BL)

Friendshit Forever (messy - 2 pairs)

Break-Up Service

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist (BL)

Not Really Interested:

Leap Day

Perfect 10 Liners (BL)

Scarlet Heart TH

Trailer-by-trailer thoughts below the cut.

Ended up waking up at 5:30am while the live started at 6:20am and the first trailer released at 6:35am lol

It’s fine tho bc my semester is over, i was afraid it’d happen before im done my exam or worse, on exam day.

Oh, Yfind project which looks for plots for novels and series? and some fandom name in Thailand?

Title: Ossan’s Life trailer

Pair: Earth/Mix

Did I know about this? Yes

Thoughts: omg? I didn’t realize Earth is the one who’s being pursued by Mix and the boss character, I thought it’d be Mix! this is fun. oh, putting on someone’s shoe scene. I finally know what the show is about because of The Conversation Podcast’s episode on it yesterday and this seems in line with the Japanese version. Very comedic, so we’ll see how it goes.

Title: Leap Day

Pair: Dew/Pahn, Pond & Gun

Did I know about this? No

Thoughts: Could be interesting but I’m not super into it yet because it doesn’t seem super developed yet beyond the concept of “people around them die.”

Title: The Heart Killers

Pair: Khao/First, Joong/Dunk

Did I know about this? Yes, specifically some sort of KhaoFirst series directed by Joni

Thoughts: I’M SO EXCITED! I was watching the whole trailer while intrigued and giggling. It’s definitely something I want from KhaoFirst, something a little risqué and has some actual plot while it’s different from anything JoongDunk have done so far, so i’d be curious to see how it goes. I hope the actual plot ends up good ahh. I’ll try not to get too attached to the mock trailer bc things will probably be different but I really like it. The song was covered in My School President but the vibe is different here.

After Rewatch: I definitely understood more after the rewatch because on my first watch I was so excited that I definitely missed some scenes and dialogue there loll I'm soooo excited for criminal killer brothers Khao and Joong, tattooist First who is trying to get dirt on them to clear his own car debt record, and Dunk who has been unleashed upon Joong to distract him from KhaoFirst in exchange for a car. KhaoFirst were my pull when I first watched it and they still are because I fucking love to see them on screen but I definitely got the JoongDunk thing more in this watch. Love to see Dunk be wild (kissing Joong when he's threatening him etc) and bold and actually take action this time while Joong is the one who is evasive, a different dynamic than their usuals. I... will try to enjoy this one regardless of plot to be honest lol because people were like meh on the Only Friends storyline. I think it'll help knowing that it's a Romcom with a side of drama rather than an assassin/crime plot with side of romance. I'm also not looking forward to KhaoFirst and JoongDunk's fandoms possibly fighting based on like screentime/acting prowess/"better treatment" and favouritsm/etc. but hopefully it'll turn out okay. I actually don't mind that KhaoFirst got a 2-pair main lead instead of a solo pair show because the pairs seem very connected with each other. Seems like it's inspired by Taming of the Shrew and 10 Things I Hate About You rather than a novel. I wonder if I should watch 10TIHAY just to see what references and such they put in.

A few hours later and I just watched 10 Things I Hate About You lol I get the "date my older brother so that we can date" thing now. I suppose Dunk's character is the "wild" character who can handle his brother Joong's character.

Title: Friendshit Forever

Pair: messy

Did I know about this? No

Thoughts: Mook and Pat and New and Boun. It Could be good but idk if i’ll watch it. Pat playing a character who is a shitty friend, a la PSIHY. Title reminds me of Dead Friend Forever. I will say the best part of the trailer was the first few seconds when I was wondering if we’d get a Pat/Mook GL.

Title: Perfect 10 Liners

Pair: Force/Book, Perth/Chimon, girl too many

Did I know about this? No

Thoughts: It could be good but I don’t care about any of the actors or pairings in this. PerthChimon were the most intriguing in this though, I liked the parallel on”Are you dating anyone?” Directed by New Siwat, yeah dunno about this one tbh. bruh so many people on stage, were they all actually there in the trailer? There are a bunch of side BL couples in addition to the main 3? crazy fr. and they couldn’t throw in a side GL either?

Apparently this is gonna be 30 eps with 10 eps each of ForceBook, MarkJunior, and PerthChimon... gonna take months and months to air fr, meaning stuff could have to wait while this show keeps airing... agh. or maybe this could prevent another rerun so who knows.

Title: Us

Pair: gorgeous girls who i don’t know the names of. Emi/Bonnie

Did I know about this? I knew about a possible Emi/Bonnie GL but I didn’t know who they were. hm Us, did we expect this novel as well, I vaguely remember having seen this novel rumored to be a series.

Thoughts: GL? These GLs being about your brother/sister’s girlfriends. omg she’s the one pairing the postcards? ahhh GL KISS IN TRAILER! Oh I’m excited and also love the short haired girl’s face sooooo much. Another melodramatic GL a la Pluto, I’m looking forward to it! Is this by the same author as GAP/Pluto/Blank? People always mention how problematic her novels are and somebody mentioned they don’t like the source material for this show either but I love a little problematic romance, so we shall see. Fon is the director.

After Rewatch: Went to MDL to double-check that the girl with cropped hair is Emi (she is! beautiful!) and the rights to this were brought like 2 years ago or what? Over a year ago at least since the comments have been waiting for announcement since then. Dang the acquirement rumour was on r/GMMTV back in February last year, so I probably saw it back then. The plot is quite straightforward, seems like it's focused way more on interpersonal relationships. Love the moody, indie nature of the angsty scenes but then they're so charming and bright when they're like happy and together! Also very happy to see like passionate kissing and romantic physical affection between the women even in the trailer, I'm hoping they have great romantic chemistry in the show. Doubt we'll get this one before 2025 though since it's directed by P'Fon and she's directing High School Frenemy right now and also has Scarlet Heart TH to do. I doubt GMMTV would air 3 GLs in a year already lol, so I'm hoping at least Pluto comes out this year and US is one of the first things out last year at the latest.

Title: Hide & Sis

Pair: ensemble and messy, focused on sisters

Did I know about this? No

Thoughts: PSIHY flashbacks. Snap25 is in charge of this, which makes sense. Very vibey, eerie, hope it’s good. Focus on morally corrupt women and sisters yay. Pepper/Lookjun are dating IRL right? hehe cute

Title: Thame Po | Heart That Skips A Beat

Pair: Est/William

Did I know about this? That there is expected to be an EstWilliam

Thoughts: Oh, a BL? So many GMMTV people who I don’t know these days. Another idol BL similar to Only Boo but more mature ig? Is this EstWilliam? I’ve seen so many people excited for their BL but idk their faces lol. It’s a Parbdee project? Exciting. I like the vibes of it. I hope they do the celebrity/commoner aspect well, I like an idol romance in theory (and in fic lol) but I don't think I've yet watched one that I've enjoyed.

After Rewatch: I randomly started seeing Est and William posts start popping up on r/GMMTV a few weeks ago and then this master thread was created for it as well. I didn't know who they were (apparently a LYKN boy and a new GMMTV actor with side roles in the past) so I was just mildly curious but it's fun that this came true. When the trailer first started, I didn't know this guy was Est, so I was like oh nooo I don't wanna watch a show about not being able to find jobs and being a loser or something lol but seems like he finds his gig early enough into the show. The trailer is even better on the 2nd watch when I know what's going on lol. The background music really suits it, it stood out to be during the first watch as well. The trailer is 4 minutes and seems fairly fleshed out, I wonder... if we can hope that it's one of the first ones to film from the 2nd half? It's done by Parbdee who have a few projects this year but the director is Mui Aticha who doesn't have anything else lined up for the year since Beauty Newbie? So maybe she can work on this soon? Crazy resume though, The Gifted, F4, Girl From Nowhere, etc. I wonder how she'll do with this one though since it's a more grounded romance like Beauty Newbie (which didn't receive good feedback rip).

Thame is William and Po is Est and from the characters + how people referred to them during the conference after the trailer, seems like they're going for WilliamEst? Interesting because everybody on the subreddit was just reading calling them EstWilliam lol I enjoy them switching it up a bit to play with expectations and cast based on the characters rather than which order people think the people themselves should be. WilliamEstWilliam would've been fun too. The next day and Est has posted pictures with #WilliamEst. Funny to have William-Williamer-Williamest.

I hope the mood and vibe of it being calmer and romantic and the drama from the celebrity idol life remains true, I don't want it to become more light-hearted and comedic, nor do I want it to become Extra Angsty or anything.

Also, it's such a fascinating yet baffling choice to me to have LYKN star as Mars. You're going to have your own boy group act as the group that's getting broken up by their company and who some company exec calls "losers" except the one guy who's gonna debut in Korea? And also, it's gonna show how not being able to date or come out sucks but it's not like GMMTV is gonna change that for LYKN like group, only for Mars the fictional band in the show lol. and fans wouldn't like it if William has a partner other than Est either. hilarious idk

Side note but every time I think of the title Thame-Po, I think of the song Thaam Lo even though the pronunciation isn't the same.

WilliamEst ship: Okay it's the night of the 24th, so it's been like a day but I'm quite into the ship itself idkkk man, I get why people on the gmmtv sub were going crazy about them for the past month. The thing is they're like so shy on stage when talking about the show omg, I enjoy seeing a ship being shy and unsure when first introduced to the public and they haven't quite figured out how to work everything out yet, it's cute. I also have learned that William is a 05 liner while Est is 01 and I need them to have the same age gap in the show pleaseee, I love a younger pursuer character for real. I know Thame calls Po Phi in the trailer though, so we know William plays a younger character at least

Title: Break-Up Service

Pair: Off/Jorin

Did I know about this? No

Thoughts: Fun concept, I’ll wait to hear if it’s good before I watch.

Title: Revamp: The Undead Story

Pair: Boun/Prem

Did I know about this? Yes

Thoughts: Ah, trailer for the BounPrem vampire story and it seems more serious and sinister than the campy nature of the other vampire BL: Golden Blood. Kinda reminds me of Midnight Museum actually. It looks good, I’ll probably give it a watch.

Title: Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist

Pair: Mark/Ohm

Did I know about this? Yes (Mark was hinting at it)

Thoughts: Two BLs back to back? Uni BL with dentistry student Mark based on Jittitain novel. It’s not super intriguing based on the more exciting stories but I need a good easy-watching, cute, uni BL once in a while in between he heavier hits. So this could be that. The trailer just seems long-winded

Title: The Dark Dice

Pair: Gemini/Prim

Did I know about this? Yes

Thoughts: Ohh kinda reminds me of The Gifted and the trailer for Enigma. A high school show about them trapped in some game. Wish there were more girls in the cast though. Less romantic than I thought. I hope it’s good and not like Homeschool which has a Very Good trailer but didn’t get good reviews.

Title: The Ex-Morning

Pair: Krist/Singto

Did I know about this? Yes, KS were shooting mock trailer with P’Lit

Thoughts: girl I was already like hehe KristSingto as expected BUT THEY ATE EXES!!!!! I love exes-to-lovers and it’s kinda funny since it parallels their ship work. huhhh wtf was that random ass car accident? hah I’m excited for this too. We knew the director is P’Lit who directed SOTUS.

After Rewatch: I thought it parallels KS's journey of Singto leaving GMMTV then him coming back and doing a BL with Krist again (kinda of exes-to-lovers if you squint) while the guy-fucks-up-and-is-crucified-on-the-internet could be parallel Krist's journey and turns out P'Aof wrote the script based on Krist Singto themselves, that's wild. The university days drinking pink milk really gives me a visceral reaction. I LOVE the look on Krist's face when he looks back at Singto in the towel and then quickly turns have his face like O.O it's very cute, I giggled the first time too. They seem to show stuff toward the end like with Krist winning the award again and Singto deciding to leave and also this random ass accident (seems like people are trying to kill Krist? What with the random motorcycle guy as well). I don't tend to like too much info in a trailer (over 4 minutes?!) but maybe if it means that we'll get it as one of the earlier part 2 shows because the script is written, I'll take it. I don't know if that's the case though because Aof is overseeing/scriptwriting and he's a busy man (though Director Lit doesn't have other shows I don't think)

Title: Scarlet Heart Thailand

Pair: Tu and ?Win?

Did I know about this? no

Thoughts: Not really a trailer, as they sometimes arent with these remakes. Scot’s are all pretty big hitters, especially Tu and Win, along with some people I’m looking forward to like Fourth, Phuwin, Tay, Nanon. Directed by Fon. I don’t know what this show is about at all though.

Expectations: based on rumours I've seen mostly

GemPrim: Yes

KhaoFirst: Yes

MarkOhm: Yes

EstWilliam: Yes

KristSingto: Yes

a GL: Yes

BounPrem and Wabi Sabi updates: Yes

I'm hoping for a large ensemble cast show centering women (PSIHY and Ploy’s Yearbook to a lesser extent, both by Snap25) or some mystery/sff (Homeschool, Gifted): Yes

My expectations were basic and based on some very well-believed rumours, so I'm not surprised they're correct.

Actor Attendance

Observations:

Interesting to go from watching The Warp Effect where I knew pretty much everybody to these trailers where there are so many people whom I don’t know, including main actors for BLs and GLs (Est/William, Emi/Bonnie). Good chance to get to know them if the shows turn out well though!

On that note, it's always interesting when they choose completely new ships to be the main couple of a show, again like Us and Thame-Po. This also means a lot of the familiar main or side BL couples are in ensemble shows like Perfect 10 Liners (there were so many people in that, I couldn't even keep track of them all).

High School: 1

University: 2

Non-School: 10 (or 11 with Ossan's Love)

Very few school shows comparatively, just 3/13, less than a quarter. That's exciting, I'm especially glad that being out of school doesn't just mean office worker shows lol

The puns never end: Friendshit, Revamped, Hide & Sis, Thame-Po (Tempo - 50% pun), The Ex-Morning. Hilarious that there are more shows with puns in their names than school shows.

Overall:

More shows grabbed my interest in this round I think. It seems like a more somber/serious set of trailers than part 1, which is cool.

Also, most of the trailers seem well-made, not necessarily in terms of story because they don't have full plots and stories yet, but in terms of production/quality.

I just hope the scriptwriting for these shows are strong, especially because they're dealing with interesting concepts like idol romance and exes-to-lovers. The concepts are soooo good but bad screenwriting or a story that doesn't deal with the interesting aspects can make the show fall flat.

I'm also glad that there is a mix of old ships, new ships, and totally new faces for these BLs and GL Like we have shows with established main pairs like KhaoFirst-Joongdunk and Forcebook-PerthChimon in ensemble shows, we have interesting situations like KristSingto which is a returning main couple and BounPrem which is an old series but revamped ;) for their GMMTV debut, but then we have a ship like MarkOhm where Mark has been in multiple shows and ships but he's leading in a series with somebody completely different. Then we have Emi-Bonnie and WilliamEst who are new faces as GMMTV leads and their ships are completely brand new.

In Part 1, it was similar in that we had stuff like main roles for existing ships with OffGun - The Trainee and GeminiFourth - My Love Mix-Up, ensemble with existing ships (We Are - PondPhuwin etc), had existing actors in new ships like OhmLeng in Kidnap or JossGawin in My Golden Blood, we had new ships like GreatInn in Wandee Goodday,

All in all, a good part 2, I'm glad I watched it live, it was exciting and I'm looking forward to these shows (though I'm not holding my breath though lol because part 1 shows still gotta be released). I really like these showcases and I'm kinda glad that now it's split into 2 because I get a new one every 6-7 months instead of once a year haha

Actually no my main gripe: Where are all the women? Us, Hide & Sis, and Friendshit Forever seem to be the only shows that focus on more than one woman and the BLs basically have no women, or possibly 1 female side character. Why can't they have side GL pairings or multiple women in the same show, truly what the heck? I hope that more women are cast in the shows as they start writing scripts and such, like a side GL in Us or a side GL in Perfect 10 Liners among all the BL pairs.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Yeah, also since I read manga weekly, any spoiler that I do see usually isn’t major like that one. It really did. And like I said, I was with extended family and it was so difficult not to cry as much as I wanted to and I only managed to keep myself calm with the thought that there might be more to it, it might not be final beause he really is just such a fun character. That’s so nice to hear and I’m also excited to see you write about them 😃 Yeah, other people also predict autumn at the latest and it would make the most sense considering everything that’s happening in the story. Yeah, same here. Like I do really love the series and am always excited to read a new chapter every Friday evening (when there’s no break), it’s pretty much become my routine to read it after dinner, but even though I love it dearly and will probably at some point rewatch the anime, I wouldn’t say I love it as much as some of the other series out there. And I see. And that might also explain why I don’t love it as much as some other series out there beause of that.

From what I saw after a quick search, both Persona 3 and 4 have less than 100 chapters. Sure thing. Oh, that’s unfortunate to hear. I’m sorry that happened and hope that you’re still able to rest properly at some point. But still glad to hear that you’re doing well ☺ I see. And it is a nice thing that it lets you take a break from things since I feel like for a decent amount of people, it probably is. Thank you for saying that. Since I could look it up, I did a quick search and the manga of D. Gray-Man is still ongoing. Oh that’s a good mood to be in. It’s funny though beause I finished the Swordsmith Village Arc a few days ago so we might’ve been watching the series around the same time or might’ve swapped around. Again, saving you a Google search beause this girl knows it just from what’s in her head. The Mugen Train season isn’t Crunchyroll screwing up beause those 7 episodes actually aired before the actual second season (The Entertainment District Arc which is 11 episodes). It’s the movie’s plot, but with some added scenes, plus the first episode is entirely new stuff, and when I did my rewatch, I watched both because yeah, both are done beautifully in their own ways. That’s also an important thing to do. I see. Yeah, I also really like that character and I do think that I love him and Sanemi equally, at least I said so at some point, beause they’re both just so great in their own ways. And since we’re talking about the movie here, this is the movie that made me upset a few weeks ago that I was talking in our DMs about. And yeah, hopefully now that I’ve explained it, you can go on to watch yet another great season. Yeah, true to what you’re saying about Avatar. Yeah, same. Like Toph is my girl and I was just looking forward to seeing her again when I was doing the rewatch and like I don’t think I have an actual proper favourite beause I love all of the main gang for who they are. They’re just all so great.

Yeah. A part of me wants to say more but I won’t in case of any kind of spoilers but it’s a well-told story until the very end. Yeah. Like the only ‘extra’ stuff we get is those extra scenes from the Mugen Train season and the stuff I was fangirling to you about in our DMs. Yeah, understandable. And after you’ve watched it all, if you still want to hear Genya in Japanese, I could find some of my favourite moments of him. Though there is one scene (apart from his first scene in the Swordsmith Village arc which was just so very Bakugou. Like what he said is something Bakugou says very often) that I’m thinking of so yeah, if you want to hear him in Japanese, I’ll give you the episode and the time stamp after you’ve watched it all. No problem. Yeah, it’s very clear beause even though it’s all clearly the final arc, there’s still a clear division between the two mini-arcs. I hope not. Like as much as I love the movies, I don’t think they’d be able to do those 22 chapters justice. Like the Mugen Train was 13 chapters to give an idea and that movie was almost two hours long so it would have to be a very long movie and considering what happens (not that I remember everything), we do need breathers. But yeah, I do understand your dislike towards the tentacles but I do feel like that’s probably the worst. Yeah, Genya’s first scene isn’t his best moment, like Nemi’s first moments actually, but like with Sanemi you do kind of get to understand why he was being such a dick and was so inpatient at that point when you learn his story. And yay to that. And when you do, just tell me all your thoughts beause he’s just so great and precious and deserves all the love 😭

Yay. That arc takes place a few episodes after the Tenrou Island arc and Sting’s first appearance is the episode after that arc’s done to give you an idea of when it takes place. No problem at all ☺ I see. Will you watch the whole of Beyblade then? Like go from the original to the Metal Saga? Thank you. I finished A Sign of Affection and it was nice. But yeah, even though I liked watching it and the couple was cute, I guess I would have liked more development. Like there’s this one very romance centred anime and it’s just one couple, but there’s still slight misunderstanding that the guy the girl is actually interested in thinks that she’s into his really good looking and all around amazing best friend (who I till this day will headcanon as aro ace) but she’s absolutely into the main guy and it’s just so cute and sweet and sure I haven’t rewatched it sine first seeing it but it definitely left a good impression on me. It’s called Ore Monogatari or My Love Story if you’re interested. But yeah, now it’s onto Tokyo Revengers and then finally Iruma-kun.

Yeah and believe me when I say that I was worried that they wouldn’t properly adapt the main backstory that takes place during this match. And thank you for the understanding. I’m not sure yet to what extent it will be a let down but it really was such an important match, probably the most important math considering it’s been set-up sine the very first season. Really and I hope they don’t beause they teased what the next movie would be about, another important Karasuno match in a different way, but on that same day there’s another match that’s also really important beause my owl boy has such, such amazing moments during that math (and I love what he says before the match even starts) and his backstory is shown in it and I just hope that one day the studio will say ‘Actually we will not only adapt this match properly but also everything that we did in the movies and of course the time-skip’ beause sure, everything is important, but that match showed a glimpse into Bokuto’s development and I really do fear that we’ll never see it animated. Funny thing is also when it comes down to that Bokuto match I sent a screenshot of a moment of him and literally was like ‘I will cry when this is animated’ so maybe the studio saw it and was like “Okay, we’ll never animate it then”. And true. Like I said about the Mugen Train movie, that was 13 chapters and the movie was almost two hours long. Yay 😄 Be excited. And that’s great to hear about you appreciating all their characterisations and be free to say anything you want about it all in our DMs when you get to responding to me. Thank you so much for all of that. Yeah, we definitely do get to see all the Hashira fighting at some point, and some do get to shine more than others and that’s probably why we got that extra scene in the latest movie I went to, to show a bit of two Hashira fighting before the final arc. I see. Yay 😄 Really glad to hear that. I’ve been doing pretty well. Saw some Doctor Who episodes today, the first ones with the Master and he’s such a fun character to watch. Though a few days ago at my latest physio appointment my physiotherapist said something which I didn’t especially like and now it just won’t leave my mind. Like I mentioned while we were talking about stuff that since I’m disabled, I probably won’t be called in to do certain things and first she was shocked that I’d even use that word to describe myself which was yeah, whatever since I don’t generally have any reason to, but then later she said that I’m not as disabled as other people and that’s stuck in my head since since of course I know that, but I’m still much less abled than other people around and I know she never sees me at my worst but it still stings and I know it’d be weird to bring it up again to her so I just wanted to say it here in hopes of it helping in leaving my mind. But yeah, apart from that, been doing pretty well. Have done some more of my diamond painting and put all my Bokuto anime screenshots in order and really do love all the expressions he makes. They’re just so funny and nice. He’s such a gift and I’m really so grateful for him.

C

I’m glad that most spoilers you see are relatively minor, being a weekly reader. I’m definitely not. I’m usually either rereading series that I’ve read before and forget a lot of what happened in them or I’m reading completed series. There’s only a couple I follow that are still ongoing, and I tend to forget to catch up with them for a couple weeks or such and binge the chapters that I missed. I’m horrible at keeping up with a lot of things. It sucks that you got such a massive spoiler in a situation where you could do nothing about the information. I don’t think I could’ve stayed calm and I would have had to excuse myself to go read real quick and then would’ve been upset the rest of the night, so you handled it really well! And I can definitely see the argument for autumn, so we’re just going to have to wait and see, I guess. I didn’t know the manga updates on Fridays, so that was fun to learn. Thank you for that. It’s also interesting to hear that you kind of see some of my points and feel the same way in some regards. It’s really comforting to hear that and I feel really relieved reading that.

Yeah, both anime and manga wise, Persona isn’t too long. I’m just saving up money so I won’t feel guilty splurging on the Steam versions of the games, because I’ve really gotten interested and want to give the actual games a try! And thank you for that. I’ll admit to getting very little proper rest lately, but on the other hand, I’ve been being really productive and that’s always a great feeling to have. Accomplishment is always a feeling I really enjoy and aim to get, so while I’m trading some rest and relaxation, I still feel good about it. Thank you so much for the saved Google searches and I find it amazing that D. Gray-Man is still ongoing. I’m wondering if the manga went on hiatus or something, because it’s been years since I read it and I remember thinking it had to be pretty close to wrapping up! In terms of Demon Slayer, I’ve finished up to the end of the Swordsmith Village Arc, so all the episodes that Crunchyroll has. I haven’t watched more than the first movie though, because Crunchyroll doesn’t have that but can I just reiterate – I’m so pissed off my manga app doesn’t have the manga because I really want to read it. I want so much more story and hopefully some more character development, since I feel there’s a lot more that is going to happen and I feel like the anime might be cutting out small moments because of pacing and such. I’m just intensely curious as to where everything is heading and why certain characters are the way they are and I always feel I get better handles on that through reading than through watching. That being said, I have a couple minor complaints, but overall, I really enoyed it. Thanks again for the recommendation! I’m mostly just pissed I don’t have more of it, hahaha! I honestly can’t think of any of the Avatar characters I truly hated, because even the villains were largely really well done.

Thank you for avoiding spoilers – unless it was in the movies though, I’m pretty sure I’m caught up on the anime? Now, it’s funny because I was just complaining about fillers, but I enjoyed the little ‘fillers’ at the end of the episodes of Demon Slayer, I just want to put that out there. Also, Haganezuka is now my husband, just saying it. He amuses me so much and I just adore him. I will definitely take hearing Genya in Japanese, if you wanna send me any of your favourite moments through dm’s! Especially if, like you said, there are scenes where you can really connect the voices to the different characters! I hadn’t realized the movies covered so few chapters so I do take back my statement then, because yeah, that was a long movie, covered a lot well, but a movie definitely couldn’t be made out of that many chapters then, since I think most fans are not Lord of the Rings loyal to the point where they’d sit through a four hour long movie. Heck, I don’t think even I would do that for much else besides LotR! I genuinely wish I was learning more about both Genya and Sanemi, and I know more about them has to be uncovered later on and I’m hoping they’ll both get focus on them after this arc as well, because I really feel we’re just barely scraping the surface here! They introduced a lot of characters we’d just barely seen before in the arc and it felt like none of them really got the focus that they should have gotten for us to properly know them, just going anime only.

Oh, that is helpful to know! I’m probably going to speedread through Fairy Tail and then watch the anime, so I’ll meet Sting via manga first, though I’m excited to also hear all the characters since I remember having really strong voice ideas for a few of them when I first read some of it way back when. As for Beyblade, I’ll give each series a try, but I’ll probably skip any series that don’t catch my attention within four episodes – I always try to give animated shows at least two hours before I decide if I’m interested and like them or not. I’m glad you enjoyed A Sign of Affection! I actually know of Ore Monogatari! I keep getting recommended it and honestly, it does seem like a romance I might actually enjoy, so it’s on my watchlist though it’s not the first one I decide to watch any time I’m flicking through that list! We actually might be watching Tokyo Revengers at the same time then, since it’s my next anime! I hope we both enjoy it 😊

Wait, it was that important of a match? Like, there’d been build up for it since that early and they did all the fans dirty by not giving that match a full movie entirely focused on it? That seems really frigging awful, not even going to lie. I hope, if the movie is indeed about that, that the important Karasuno match is the movie and then you get an arc for Bokuto and that match, including episodes showing his backstory. To me, just as a creator, that is the way I’d go – a movie for the big match and then a three to four short arc dedicated to the smaller match with Bokuto’s team. I’m also really glad to hear that we get to see all the Hashira fighting at some point, because I am curious about some of them and kind of really hope for some more Giyu moments, not going to lie.

I’m so, so angry at your physiotherapist though. If you feel, because you know your body best, that you’re disabled in some way, then you are and her treating you that way is inexcusable. Knowing you like I do, I can also safely say that I adore you but yeah, I agree with you, I do also consider you as someone who has a disability. I also think you handle it amazingly well, are gracious in the face of it, and really admire how kind you are even dealing with everything you do. Don’t let that twatface of a physiotherapist get you down. If I could, I would take their kneecaps. I’m sorry my reply came so late and I hope you’re doing as well as can be expected! Hugs!

[roughdaysandart]

My magnum opus: This portion of the Ch16 Rough Day comic script edits

Ok I say something's my magnum opus ALOT, but this is it...at least for now, thats how much I adore this. Once again im trying to keep as much of it to the original as possible but there really is so much that you can do to modify that much charachter-developing smut out before you have to make another scenario to convey the same message and flow with the original story and plot/direction seamlessley.

Why did I suddenly jump to abridging the LAST section of ch 16 for chrisitan roomates today? Well, I happened to rewatch Eyes Wide Shut today, and the Christmas party scene between Alice and the Stranger got me thinking of the perfec scenario in which to remove explicit smut from the picture while conveying the same idea:

Instead of taunting Mando with Spicy Comm time, why not have Sweet Girl talking to another man while he listens instead?

ALOOOOt of good ideas from EWS entering my mind palace now (not the creepy ones tho...also def no infidelity bc SG WOULD NEVER) for the edits, and Im so excited to share more editied/revised/added scenes prompted by EWS!

***DISCLAIMER: since this more like a script right now, not all of the dialougue is included yet (will do that when I make my way back to CH 16 in a few weeeks probrobly, trying to do edits in chronological order of the chapters), just the descriptions and jists of the changed scenes, how they relate to past and future content, etc, although admit thats some parts have full dialougue because I couldnt stop myself.***

Anyway, heres your CHUM my fellow sickos, feast away!

---------------------------------------------------------

ROUGH DAY (original by @no-droids), CH 16, "Ask me again tomorrow" (last part): ABRIDGED FOR CHRISTIAN ROOMATES BY @roughdaysandart

Sweet Girl is in the middle of downtown Nariss, after buying a change of clothes. Standing in the square right in front of a large tower of an inn. She surveys at least two dozen floors, noticing how it even boasts a convention/event center, or maybe it's a restaurant, somewhere around the center, the large, warmly-lit balcony likely having a perfect view of the city skyline, and she hears it audibly bustling. She notices a banner outside the front doors of the Inn advertising an all-night auction. Some traveling collection of artistic and historical rarities from the outer-rim.

Knowing it's crazy-expensive to pay for anythig here, she knows there's no way she's spending her precious credits on a room, even after spending last night in a tree, and is definitely not feeling bold enough to break into a room either when a New Republic headquarters is literally right next to the Inn.

At first she naturally wants to stay clear of officers, knowing they're trouble for Din, but then recalls what he said before she left. 

(insert flashback : “I’m only telling you so that you’ll know your advantage and find a way to exploit it.  I can’t be seen by any officers, or they might arrest me.”

Thinking about the growing variables in her favor, along with her increasing fatigue, she decides she IS feeling bold enough to try sneaking into the lobby or a secluded corner within the inn that has a sofa she could rest on for the night. But then another thought comes to mind: on the chance that Din does get close to her tonight: if she’s going for crowds and officers, why try to be out of the way then? Why not take it as far as she possibly can right now?

She shuffles in her pack to find and put on her mechanic’s goggles, which she only brought out of habit, not believing that she would actually end up using them for something like this. Finding a spare tool and trash bin in an adjacent alley, she confidently walks past the Inn’s receptionist, grumbling about how she hates being called in this late for repairs. She then rides the lift to a random floor, finds her way to the nearest bathroom, leaves the tools in a random stall, and takes all the time in the galaxy freshening herself up and changing into her clean clothes.

Close to midnight. She knows where she's gotta go next. Leaving her bag in the fancy decorative dresser in the ladies room, she walks out, an air of vitality entering her despite the fatigue with the new feeling of cleanliness. Making her way to the lift again, she politely asks a passing service droid where that auction she saw a banner for is tonight. 

She finds everything she's looking for there. She expected something like this, but didn't expect to hit the total Maker-jackpot. There are officers even at the door of the bar, holding security for the largest and grandest collection of items she has ever seen on the balcony. For them to not hire private security, she thinks, the event or company must be affiliated with the New Republic somehow, maybe some resesrch-based or educational branch. Shes seen countless large gatherings these past few months as a consequence of traveling with Din, but never has she been to anything like this. Such a vibrant venue littered with well dressed attendees, whom she guesses must all be there to admire or bid for the pieces. Upon passing the epicenter of the auction, she takes notice of the particularly ordinary outer-rim objects and such displayed, knowing first hand of how common or worthless such things are, at least back on Arvala-7. Perhaps to everyone else, such ordinary things from the outer-rim are seen as exotic rarities. 

She also comes to see that the balcony and patio is not only a convention center, but also dons an equally exsquisite bar. And it's not the mere presence of a bar that necessarily excites her, but the plethora of plush seating fixtures littering the surrounding space of it. And although she didn't want to waste credits on a room here, she KNOWS she has credits for what she sees as she nears the bar. She can't resist when she notices a certain wine fixture on one of the glass shelves, its contents the same distinct color as and labeled with the depiction of that purple fruit she had come to crave these last few days here.

Drink in hand, she makes her way to the large sofa up against the corner farthest from the doors, passing close to and admiring the view of the skyline at the edge of the balcony. Now, her view is triangulated, where she can see the bar, crowded auction, and the vast opening of the balcony. She plans to just rest there for a few hours, maybe just doze off until she gathers her strength again and can scurry off to begin evading Din long enough tomorrow to reach the orphanage. 

 It is then she notices the comm clock change to midnight, and she opens the comm first, making an effort to cup her hand along her face and ear in an attempt to block the ambient chatter from Din. He notices her demeanor, along with the chatter, predicting correctly that she is somewhere nicer in the city after spending last night in a tree. They talk for a few minutes as she continues to sip on her glass, more frequently as the banter grows, not imagining the fruit could taste any better than it already did. Okay with the alcohol, yes, but also with Din’s company. He mentions that they need to charge the communicators tonight, and SG contemplates how she is going to find a place to leave hers as she rests in the bar for the night.

After a bit of her glass is emptied, she sets it on the low table in front of her, readying to respond to Din’s last remark. From her lowered gaze, she sees a hand reach out, lifting to take it away. “Sorry, that's my glass”, she protests as she adjusts her gaze upwards, vision noticeably a little buzzed. A well dressed man. A very well dressed man. He pauses as she blinks, pulled out of her euphoria in forgetting anyone else or thing existed beyond the exchange between her and Din. In one motion he then slides past the table to sit by her at the empty side of the long sofa, handing the glass back to her hand. “I’m absolutely certain of it.” he clarifies warmly.

The comm is still open. She would have closed it to prevent anything the man said from possibly giving her location away, but her mind was lagging a little both from the unexpected newcomer and the continued buzz. The man's tone is noticeably flirtatious. A small introductory exchange occurs, and she entertains his flattery lightly, giving passive responses and continuing only because she is so humored by how Din relentlessly questions who this man is, what she's doing, through the earpiece. And, she can't help but feel a bit reckless with this ridiculously good wine in her system.

Throughout the conversation, her responses double in meaning to both the man and Din. They are mildly flirtatious responses to the man, but are in fact clever answers to all that Din grunts through the earpiece as he grows more agitated, though most of it is purposefully taunting, being how he knows this tone is only for him. But it is for him,she reasons, it just happens to also answer the things that man in front of her says. 

The man attempts to impress her by mentioning his prestigious position in the traveling exhibition of outer rim rarities and such (funny line: about how she is an outer rim rarity/beauty). He mentions that this is the gallery’s last night, that they always do an all-night event to close the gallery before leaving in the morning. He sighs, stating how disappointed he is that he decided to leave earlier than the end of the event tonight, not expecting to happen upon company like her. He explains that he even had all his things already packed and put on the company ship, and that he was just on his way to drop off his key before he sat here (flashing the room key from out of his pocket intentionally).

She obviously doesn't even consider the proposition, but thinks for a moment. An empty room, a high rise SUITE, and the guest is conveniently NOT spending their last night in it. She, or maybe the wine, convinces herself that she HAS to keep entertaining him so she can distract him long enough to swipe that key. It's beyond dangerous territory with Din hearing it all, like poking a caged animal with the way he can just do nothing but endure. She may know that it's just a distraction to get the room key, but Din most certainly won't. He will think she is escalating things just to get to him for no reason, and she wouldn't normally be this bold, but the promise of a free shower and mattress is too irresistible. Plus, she's sure she can explain herself to him, however warped but harmless her logic is right now, once he calms down. If he calms down. If he doesn't find her right this second and choke this man out right in front of her with blind rage. But Din’s growing demands into the comm to know her location make it obvious that he won't be finding her anytime soon. 

She takes that into consideration, and can't help but enjoy the sudden power trip she has in making Din this helpless, knowing how rare it is. Disguised in conversation with the man, she lets Din know of her desire for him to see her, and how he should naturally feel the same desire. It's in this section that she discovers and turns on the video function of the communicator.

“…You wouldn’t.” Din challenges.

Din can now see and hear her head-on as the comm on her wrist faces her head while it moves to rest on the higher cushion of the couch near the man’s neck. Din is obviously fuming through the ear piece the whole time now being able to see what she is doing. Between blending conversation with the man, she manages to look into the camera and basically speak directly to Din, the audacity only making him more ruffled. The conversation with the man continues to escalate, and she moves closer, subtly inching her freehand where she knew she saw the key return to his pocket.

After successfully swiping the key, the next few moments in their conversation ultimately brings it to an end. The man asks about something that makes her response include a word that has “Man” within it, and the exchange ends something like this:

“Man-uh-man(___finish word___),” she stutters, feeling something as her heart remembers that all too familiar word she was so close to uttering. The stuttering means that she is taken aback when she hears something in the earpiece interrupt the word. “Din,” he whispers, so quiet she almost wouldn't have heard if it didn't come directly in her ear, like he almost doesn’t want to but has to anyway, and then her face turns red hot. The man asks if everything is alright with her sudden flusteredness.“D-Din,” she blurts instead, trying to keep her voice as quiet as possible through the rising swell, though at the same time quite forcefully trying to NOT say it. It would NOT be good to mention his name to anyone, even if by accident, even if the man has no idea what those three precious letters really mean.  She blurts, “D-DINNER, I–uh– need to have dinner, that's all-uh. T-too much to drink heh heh”. 

The man mentions how late it is for dinner, though propositions to join her. She manages to convince him to stay seated when she promises to let him after she uses the ladies room. In the last few creative flirtatious remarks she uses to try and appear genuine about it, Din’s voice comes through the ear piece, only different.

“Stop.” he growls, the return of his natural authoritative tone jarring in her flustered moment. He must have seen it, she thinks. She still had her wrist up when she was caught off guard, before she ended the video-function. He saw the way her tummy and chest started to heave, how her body froze at the shock of hearing him say his name suddenly—and yeah, Maker, he saw it, because his tone makes her quickly scurry out of the bar, sad to have accidentally left the rest of her glass behind. Oh well, she thinks, just makes the man believe more that she's coming back, better for her she guesses.

Making her way back to the bathroom she cleaned up in a few levels below, she begins trying to explain herself to a very incoherent Din, trying to start with how she had to do it, but not able to clarify exactly why she had to quick enough over Din’s explosiveness. The middle of the exchange goes something like this:

“Dank Far–,” Din spits through the earpiece, and she thinks the mic might just break.  “You think—y-you think—”

What?”  she hums, basking in the afterglow and rush of the epic saga before and so, so curious.  Truly, completely mindless in this cloud of sensation, she has no clue what she's thinking, but if anybody would be able to tell her, it’s him.

She reaches into the dresser in the ladies room and hauls her heavy pack onto her back. There’s a moment where his breathing stops. It’s completely silent on the line, before she hears another few heavy footsteps on his end pick up and then halt just as quickly.

“You think you can taunt me?”   He murmurs, dangerous and deadly quiet.  “Show me exactly where you are, disappear and then make me waste forever trying to get there?  You think that’s gonna work?”

She makes her way out into the hall and towards the lift, considering it. He may have not predicted her strategy perfectly, but his insight has stopped surprising her by now. “...Maybe.” 

You can hear the seeping agitation in the short pause.

“Maybe you shouldn’t fall asleep tonight.”

Ooh.  That one sends goosebumps down her arms, but she's gained four hours on top of a twelve hour head start.  He can’t scare her with that tone, not when she's still woozy with giddyness and he isn’t right in front of her. Instead of wilting beneath the hard threat, she just blinks gently at the communicator as she pushes the button to the floor that matches the one on the room key, finding strength in being the only one to get him this worked up when he’s always so composed, this talkative when he barely says a word.  “Maybe I’ll just stay here then?”

“Maybe you wanted me to know you’re in an inn because you already found someplace to hide that isn’t one,” Din reasons very, very adeptly.  Stars, her heart subtly begins to pick up at the speed in which he's going to speak this fast.  “Can’t be planning to stay with someone you just met because you’d already be there, can’t be going to a hostel because you found the one city on this moon built for commerce and not aid.  Not staying in another inn, you can’t afford it—the view looks high up, that robe is expensive, and you already bought food and at least five pairs of shoes in two days.  I don’t think the place you found is even in Nariss.  You think you can outsmart me, sweet girl?”

The chill down her spine doesn’t reach her eyes, she doesnt let it.  She just feels herself smile, tilting her head, but Din doesn’t accept her silence the way she’s always accepted his.  He wants an answer from her, right now, and it’s clear in the dark rumble of his voice, the danger slowly brewing beyond what she originally planned for.

“Tell me,” he orders, unamused and leaving no room to disobey.  

As the lift door opens, she thinks ahead and decides to spare them both his likely meteoric response of hearing the room door beep and open in a minute.

“How long do you think you can keep running?”

She waits a second when she braces herself at what she's about to dare to do before she quickly whispers it. “I………gotta go”, she winces with a mischievous smile as she goes to close the comm line.

“DON’T YOU D-” Dins voice starts, only to be cut off immediately.

The silence is deafening after, him practically yelling that last bit, and she hopes that the cradle was closed so the kids' poor little ears were saved from the blast. She exits the lift and moves down the hall, heart still racing from daring to cut him off at the peak of his rage. She finally finds the key’s matching room, and Maker, when she opens the door, she tries to stifle her gasp so as to not wake any neighbors in the hall. 

The room is extravagant. The first thing she notices is the giant window peeking over the breathtaking skyline, letting in all of the purple and blue hues of light the sky blended with the glowing lights of the city. And then the bed, a giant bed and a giant mattress. It might as well be made out of pure spice the way it makes her nearly sob with happiness.

She then spends an untraceable amount of time enjoying the exploits of her treacherous efforts. An actual shower and mattress, dying of sleep depravity and the mental energy needed to keep up that whole exchange through it. Once she finally pauses to settle on the bed, she opens the comm line again, bracing herself for what might be the most nervous she's had to be in a while.

“Finally going to tell me where you are?”. Din’s voice isn't loud, but it most certainly isn't relaxed. He must be livid now, having all that time to fester and brew as she took her time cleaning herself up in the fresher. He might only sound this calm not to scare her off, if that's what he thinks made her hang up last time anyway.  “In a way, yeah.” she starts. “It's actually good news, but you may hate me for it, if you don't already.”  She lets a short pause ring in the air in an attempt to measure his temperature. “.......good news…..” Din finishes, audibly impatient and saying it through a clenched jaw. Seeing how he is making such a desperate effort to sound composed and just keep her talking, she once again thinks it's safe to venture into dangerous territory once more tonight with him. 

“Remember how you thought I wasn't planning to stay with someone I'd already met, or I'd already be there?”

“…………………………………..yes”

“…..Well I am here””

“…………………………………..okay”

“B-but i'm not with them”

“................................................uhhuh”

“A-and do you remember the man I talked to earlier, at the bar?”

“.............................................…I'm trying not to” 

And do you remember when he mentioned his uh…room?

“………”

“D-din?”

“……………………….how…could I….forget.” Din spurts through gritted teeth, almost a mumble. She's sure if he's got something in his hand right now, it's most certainly broken with the way his fists must be clenched, she just prays it's not the kid. 

“Uh-well-I um….”

“…………………………………......you what?”

“.........................................…. I’m in their room–”

“you–”

A prolonged silence sinks in, and she wonders how long she can even let this go on before something genuinely bad happens. She's already had her fun for the night, why push it more when she's already gotten what she wanted out of him?

Letting DIn’s stunned silence radiate a few seconds more, she finally laughs, explosively, forgetting any concept of neighbors anymore. Stuttering between giggles, she manages to utter: “Im-s-soryy-HAHA-its b-because I haha-i um–....I st-stole his room key—hahaHAHAHAHAH–I–m so sorry that I -–ha– but it was right there and he didn't even notice-HAHAHA- when he was busy talking to me, so dumb and clueless HAHAHAHAHAHA” . More silence over the comm, and she wonders if he actually hung up before she could finish before. She stops laughing a moment to check in case. “D-din? I'm so sorry, haha” she says breathlessly, gasping for air and hoping for any response at all at this point.

“......For the first time in my life, I feel provoked to throw my helmet.”

“ahaha–Please dont be mad, I had to–”

“ –Mad? That's not the word we're dealing with, what we've got is something I can't even think of a word for. And you HAD to?” He sounds beyond annoyed, but she's grateful he's not boiling like before.

“HAHAHAHAHA, k-kind of–HA–”

“….You think that was funny?” his tone gets serious again. "You better pray that I never find that man".

"Well I know for a fact he's not coming back, which is why I took it" she childishly giggles.

Din stays silent. For a second, she prays he doesn't actually throw the whole chase out the window just to find that man as soon as possible now and vent his anger.

Suppressing her gasps for oxygen, she starts: “ohh come on, you predicted that I would be somewhere nicer after spending last night in a tree.  You should've known what I was really after the whole time haaha- I  I know you didn't see him show me the card but– I let you see me the whole time, how could I in Maker’s name ever–?”

“Doesn't matter if it was a means to an end, that was just….. way too hard to watch.”

A second of silence passes as her breathing finally slows.

“I'm sorry you had to hear it”, she breathes, sincerity rising in her tone. “But I wouldn't have wanted you to hang up, I missed your voice. … I swear, all I was thinking about was you the whole time, in my ear, I could barely keep up the conversation trying not to say your name. I only thought of you and how much I wanted you with me then.”

“……………..”

“-Y-you and t-the uh–room key—haHAHAHHAHAHHAH”

“I've met mercenaries less sadistic than you are right now.” His voice sounds flat, just in pure astonishment at how she is actually able to push it yet again. Another burst of laughter, and she falls back on the bed, gasping for air as she tries to regain her composure.“Well why don't you come give me what I deserve and lock me away already, hmmm? Bounty hunter?” 

“That's one way to put it”, his voice sounding more humored at the thought, though clearly still trying to sound as upset as he can. “AHA-hahahaaaaahahaha…..”, her laughter fades finally from pure exhaustion, her abdomen now on fire from the extended flexing.

Note: and something like : "you know im not goint to let this go/forget this easily/make you pay for that"

"Haaaa, I'm counting on it." she sighs.

A few seconds pass as the tension settles with the time. “Give me your coordinates”. A tender, sweet tone seeping through the mic. She closes her eyes and exhales,  “Ask me again tomorrow.” But then, instead of immediately responding, she just hears Din’s footsteps suddenly pick up, faster than any pace she’s been able to keep over the past few days.  She doesn't think it sounds like a run necessarily, she knows that his legs and strides are far longer than hers and it’s probably pretty much equivalent to a run for her. She hears the rhythm of her demise speeding up, coming closer and closer, and everything in her both fears it and welcomes it.

“We’ll see,” he tells her, and then the red light vanishes and her earpiece clicks to silence.

She moves to place the comm on the charger at the bedside nightstand, at last able to put her mind to sleep along with her body.

Even though it takes her much longer to do so than it normally would on a bed so large and comfortable, after such an exciting night and not being used to flickering light when she tries to sleep but wanting to experience the rarity anyways, she’s eventually able to pass out. But, not even a few minutes into a restless dream, she turns over and accidentally knocks her communicator off the wireless charging station on the side table.  

It blinks with four percent battery life.

[the-rewatch-rewind]

This movie is very weird, but I love it so much.

Script below the break

Hello and welcome back to The Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most frequently rewatched movies in a 20-year period. Today I will be discussing number 23 on my list: Paramount Pictures’ 1942 comedy The Major and the Minor, directed by Billy Wilder, written by Charles Brackett and Billy Wilder, suggested by a play by Edward Childs Carpenter from a story by Fanny Kilbourne, and starring Ginger Rogers and Ray Milland.

Fed up after a year in New York, approximately 30-year-old Susan Applegate (Ginger Rogers) decides to return home to Stevenson, Iowa. Unfortunately, train fare has increased significantly since she arrived in New York, and she doesn’t have enough saved for a ticket home. Desperate, she disguises herself as a child (turning 12 next week) so she can get a half-fare ticket. After she’s on the train, the conductors get suspicious, so she hides in the drawing room of military academy instructor Major Phillip Kirby (Ray Milland), who completely believes that she’s a child in trouble and lets her stay in his compartment overnight. In the morning, the train has been stopped due to flooding near Phillip’s station, so his fiancée Pamela Hill (Rita Johnson) drives to the train to pick him up. Finding a woman in his compartment, Pamela assumes that Phillip has cheated on her and storms away before he has a chance to explain. So Susan (or “Sue-Sue” as she decides it would be more childlike to go by) accompanies Phillip to his school to clear up the misunderstanding, and gets caught up in more drama there.

This was the very first movie I wrote down in 2003 when I decided to start keeping track of the movies I watched. I’m pretty sure I had seen it before because I remember getting it from the library very early in my foray into Old Hollywood, and it had quickly become one of my favorites. I saw it 3 times in 2003, once in 2004, twice in 2005, once in 2006, once in each year from 2008 through 2011, twice in 2012, then once each in 2013, 2014, 2018, 2020, 2021, and 2022. Given that I was around Sue-Sue’s age the first time I watched it, and I’m now older than Ginger Rogers was when she filmed it, my perception of this movie has understandably evolved. As an actual 12-year-old, I mostly watched it just to make fun of the adults who clearly had no memory of what it was like to be 12, and to remind myself to stay in touch with my child self so I would never get to that point. I’m pretty sure I’ve succeeded in that. As I got slightly older, I started recognizing and appreciating how well-developed the characters are for such a silly movie. I remember as an older teen really wanting a sequel or a series or some other way to just keep hanging out with these characters. And as an adult, I’m still discovering new layers to the story and message. So I don’t think I will ever get tired of rewatching it.

As I’m sure you’ve already concluded from my synopsis, this movie has one of the most bizarre plots ever, and absolutely would not be made today. I promise it is way better than it sounds, but parts of it are very disturbing if you think about them too hard. In particular, there’s a scene when Phillip walks into a faculty meeting (which Pamela is also attending, along with her father who is the head of the academy) as he’s about to be fired in disgrace and reveals that the “woman” that Pamela found in his compartment is a 12-year-old girl. Everybody is so relieved because clearly that implies that nothing improper happened, which is very much what should be implied, and is accurate in this case. Still, I feel like hearing, “Yes, darling, I spent the night with another woman, but don’t worry, it’s okay because she’s only 12” would not actually be very reassuring. It's also incredibly strange that not a single adult in this film – with the possible exception of the conductors – has any concept of what 12-year-olds act like. When she’s playing Sue-Sue, Susan tends to adopt the voice and vocabulary of a toddler or kindergartener, and most other people just kind of accept that as normal. When Phillip first meets her, he asks if she knows the alphabet – like, come on! She’s 12, not 2! The movie itself does address this, though, through the character of Lucy Hill (played by Diana Lynn), Pamela’s younger sister who is actually around 12 (the actress was really 15 but close enough) and sees through “Sue-Sue” instantly. When they’re alone together for the first time, Susan tries to keep up her charade by admiring Lucy’s goldfish: “Lookit the ones with the flopsy-wopsy tails, and the one sticking his nose up, he wants his din-din” until Lucy can’t take it anymore and says, “Stop your baby talk. You’re not 12 just because you’re acting like 6” and it’s like THANK YOU! FINALLY someone said it. It kind of feels to me like this movie is trying to show how quickly many adults forget what it’s really like to be young, and that it’s supposed to be ridiculous that anybody believes that Susan is a child. I’m not sure if that was the actual intention of the filmmakers, but if you watch it through that lens the movie makes a lot more sense.

Even though she doesn’t look or act anything like an almost-12-year-old, Ginger Rogers’s performance is hands-down my favorite aspect of this movie. As I’ve mentioned before, she’s one of my faves, so I’ve seen and loved her in a ton of movies, and this is, in my opinion, her best performance. In some ways, it’s similar to her role in Monkey Business in that she pretends to be younger than she is part of the time, but the difference is her Monkey Business character is under the influence of a formula that makes her truly believe she is young, whereas Susan Applegate knows she’s pretending. As ridiculous as she seems to us, we can tell that she feels even more ridiculous. Susan doesn’t want to act like a child; she just wants to get home, and Rogers conveys Susan’s exasperation through Sue-Sue’s smiles so well. Part of why she wanted to make this film, and perhaps part of why she’s so convincing in this role, was because before she had become rich and famous, she had in fact lied about her age when traveling by train with her mother because they could only afford half fare. She probably wasn’t quite as silly about it in real life, but it seems like her experience helped her find the truth amid the silliness. There’s also the romantic aspect, which overall I don’t think works particularly well – more on that in a bit – but I do think Ginger Rogers does an excellent job of portraying how much Susan cares for Phillip and also how conflicted she feels about it, both because he’s engaged to someone else and because she needs him to believe that she’s way too young for him. The plot may be absurd, but the character of Susan is surprisingly layered and complex, and Ginger brings her to life in the best possible way, nailing every moment of her performance and making this movie far more enjoyable than it has any right to be.

Of course, this was greatly aided by the script and directing, but that’s partly thanks to Ginger Rogers as well. Billy Wilder had previously co-directed one film in France and had written quite a few screenplays – several in collaboration with Charles Brackett – but he had never directed a Hollywood film before. Rogers was a huge star at the time, and had just won an Oscar, so she had the power to choose her directors, and after meeting with Wilder and hearing the pitch she agreed that he was the right director for this project, and thus began his extremely successful Hollywood directorial career. This is obviously one of his lesser-known films, but I feel like both the directing and writing are just as good as one would expect from a Billy Wilder film. While some of the storylines are very odd, most of the dialogue is excellent. Wilder and Brackett wrote the script with my main fave Cary Grant in mind for the role of Phillip Kirby, but one evening Billy Wilder found himself stopped at a red light next to Ray Milland and asked him if he’d like to be in the new picture he was making, and Milland said, “Sure,” so Wilder sent him the script and he liked it, so he was cast instead. I would of course have loved to see Cary Grant in this film, but Milland did a great job, for the most part. There’s a scene between him and Rogers when Phillip is trying to explain the birds and the bees – or the lightbulbs and the moths – to Sue-Sue, and it is incredibly awkward, and based on the words they’re saying should be painful to watch, but both actors absolutely sell that cringe comedy and it’s one of my favorite scenes.

But although the leads have excellent comedic chemistry, their romantic chemistry is basically non-existent. It kind of has to be, since for most of the movie he thinks she’s a child and it would be really creepy if he showed romantic interest in her. I know that as an aromantic I’m unusual in that I would like most movies better if they had less romance, but for this one in particular, I feel like it’s reasonable to not want Phillip and Susan to end up together that way. I do appreciate that his fiancée Pamela is a villain not merely because she stands in the way of the main characters getting together, as so often happens with love triangles, but because she’s actively trying to sabotage Phillip’s military career behind his back. Notably, this movie takes place in May of 1941, so after the start of World War II, but before Pearl Harbor, so there’s lots of debate amongst the characters about whether the US is going to enter the war. (Of course, by the time it was filmed in early 1942, everybody knew the answer.) Major Kirby wants to be part of the action if that happens, and the reason he’s on the train when Susan meets him is because he’s gone to Washington to try to get transferred away from the school to active duty. But Pamela doesn’t want her man to go off to war, which is reasonable, but instead of talking to him about it, she writes letters behind his back to people in high places telling them how valuable he is in the job he doesn’t like. So clearly it’s not a very healthy relationship. Pamela’s sister Lucy enlists Susan to help thwart Pamela’s plans, which she does, and Phillip gets the transfer he was hoping for. And that’s great and all, but Susan didn’t have to be in love with him to help him out. But apparently she is, and Pamela figures that out before she gets a chance to tell Phillip, so Pamela forces Susan to leave, threatening to ruin Phillip if she doesn’t. The confrontation scene between the two woman is pretty great – both Ginger Rogers and Rita Johnson give excellent performances, and they seem like actual rational humans instead of breaking down into hysterical cattiness as too many movies would have forced them to do. At that point I guess we do want Susan to end up with Phillip if only to spite Pamela. And I do love the scene when Phillip shows up in Iowa on his way to report for duty on the west coast. After trying and failing to explain the situation to her mother (played by Ginger Rogers’s actual mother Lela Rogers), Susan decides to pretend to be Sue-Sue’s mother herself. It’s a very funny scene, especially when Phillip remarks on the astonishing resemblance between her and her daughter, and she earnestly states, “Sue-Sue has her father’s nose.” Then Phillip reveals that Pamela has married someone else, which prompts Susan to show up on the train platform, dressed in age-appropriate clothes and using her normal voice, and let him know without using so many words that Sue-Sue was her the whole time. And then they go off to elope to Nevada. So like…I guess that’s okay, but it’s still very weird.

It's also very weird how all the cadets at the school are constantly hitting on Sue-Sue. Most of them seem to be around 14-16 years old, so if she was actually 12 that would be incredibly inappropriate, although I guess nobody ever announces how old she’s supposed to be, and she very much looks older than 12, so it’s not entirely unreasonable for them to assume that she’s about their age. But of course she’s actually around 30, and finds it highly unpleasant to be hit on by teenagers. So calling this aspect weird is not a criticism of the movie; it’s definitely aware of the weirdness. And to a certain extent, it feels like this movie is deliberately calling out male entitlement. The reason Susan decides to leave New York is because in the opening scene, she’s trying to give a man a scalp massage and he will not stop hitting on her until she literally spreads raw egg all over his face. And then he’s going to report her for being unprofessional, after he was literally trying to sleep with her. Later when she’s pretending to be a child at the train station, she offers a man 50 cents to pretend to be her father and buy her ticket, but he takes $3 from her and also tries to hit on her (she kicks him in the shin). Once she’s at the academy, as she’s eating lunch she learns that the boys at her table have made a schedule so they each get to spend an hour with her, without giving her any say in the matter. Then the first one tricks her into a position so he can kiss her without her consent. The other boys are upset that she knows better than to let them do the same, and later the one who kissed her even has the audacity to be mad at her for running away without letting him kiss her again. Then there’s a school dance when several of the students cross boundaries that she has to push back against. And even when she gets home to Stevenson, the man who wants to marry her throws a tantrum because she’s clearly not into him anymore. When Phillip calls to say he’s in town, she assumes it’s that guy, and as she goes to answer the phone she’s practicing apologizing, even though he was the one who threw a rock to break her porch light. It’s like, no wonder she’s interested in Phillip; he’s literally the only man who has ever respected her! Although in the awkward sex talk scene, Phillip does say that attractive girls are like lightbulbs and boys are like moths drawn to them, implying that they just can’t help themselves and this is the way things are, which is rather irritating. So the sexual harassment could definitely have been more explicitly condemned, but for a movie written by men in 1942, The Major and the Minor does a remarkable job of portraying the crap that so many women are forced to regularly deal with because men think they’re entitled to their bodies.

This movie also does a surprisingly good job of portraying female friendship. Despite their significant age gap, Susan and Lucy quickly develop a very sweet bond. Lucy is a great character to begin with – she’s observant and feisty and obsessed with biology, and I feel like she would make an excellent protagonist in some sort of junior mystery series. She’s also quite jaded for someone so young – perhaps from growing up surrounded by teenaged boys – and hates her sister, so she gets along perfectly with Susan. Since Lucy immediately sees through Sue-Sue, Susan has one person she can be herself around, which is helpful both to her and to the audience. They also make an excellent team when they come up with a plan to help Phillip get his transfer. And then when Susan is forced to leave, Lucy tries desperately to find a way to help, saying “You’re much more my sister than Pamela.” Later, the reason Phillip visits Susan in Stevenson is because Lucy made him promise to drop off a present from her to Sue-Sue, so she does find a way to help after all. I like to think that Lucy and Susan stay in touch after the events of the movie, and maybe Lucy even goes to live with Susan (and Phillip, assuming he survives the war) to get away from her toxic sister.

This movie is particularly fun to watch for Ginger Rogers fans not only because she gives such an excellent performance, and because we get to see her mother’s only on-screen appearance, but also because there are several jokes in the script that are only funny because Ginger Rogers is playing Susan. At this point, Rogers had made nine movies in which she danced with Fred Astaire, and although she had made many other films and had just won an Oscar for a non-dancing drama, dancing was, is, and shall always be what she’s best known for. Which makes it very funny when Phillip asks Sue-Sue if she can dance and she responds with “a little”, and when she’s showing off dance steps to a cadet and he replies with, “Adequate.” These jokes remind me of my first introduction to Ginger Rogers, as a child watching the 1965 Rodgers and Hammerstein Cinderella, in which she plays the queen, on VHS at my grandparents’ house. I distinctly remember one of the many times I watched it, when the king asked, “May I have this dance?” and the queen replied, “I was wondering when you were ever going to ask me,” my mom explained that that actress was a famous dancer and that’s why she said that. I didn’t fully understand at the time, but now that I’ve seen all of her films with Fred, I get it. As fun as these jokes are, however, it is a little sad to me that even when she got to play a kickass protagonist like Susan Applegate, she knew she’d always be thought of as “Fred Astaire’s partner”. At least now people acknowledge that “she did everything he did but backwards and in high heels” – thanks to a frequently-quoted Frank and Ernest cartoon from 1982.

Anyway, I’ll talk more about Fred and Ginger in a future episode. As for The Major and the Minor, if you can get past the strangeness of the premise, it’s an incredibly entertaining watch, with some decent and unfortunately still relevant commentary on how frustrating it can be to just exist with a female body in a patriarchal society.

Thank you for listening to me discuss another of my most-rewatched movies, and also Happy Pride Month! Remember to follow or subscribe for more episodes, and also remember that people on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrum belong at Pride; the A does not stand for Ally. I’ve got some fun guests lined up for the podcast later this month, but first I’ll be talking on my own about another old film that isn’t nearly as obscure as this one. As always, I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “I was born on the side of a hill.”

[trollprincess]

Okay, NO. I cannot be expected to wait another four weeks to talk about Glass Onion. I CANNOT.

I’m angry about only one thing and that’s that it’s not still in the theater because my immediate goal after walking out was to walk right back in again and see it once again to catch all the stuff that went on that I missed. (Like Helen. Helen! I spent so much time at the end of the movie going, “Wow, she does such a great acting job being her sister!” Except it was *her* all along and … Jesus, seriously give that woman an Oscar nomination.)

I also thought SO MUCH about the whole “you see what he wanted you to see” part of the plot, because yes. YES. I wish more movies did this gaslighting outside of an abusive domestic situation, *and* acknowledged it as such.

I also hope that when Benoit said, “I’ve got a guy,” he meant Philip, and ten minutes later Philip was clearing stacks of books out of their bathroom grumbling about why they can’t go do this in his salon, *Blanc*, you always do this, I don’t know how we didn’t break up ages ago, now go check on dinner while I rummage through what supplies I’ve got on hand.

Okay, but that last sequence … look, I called it sexy for a reason. That shit was so *satisfying*. I’m not going to pretend that it didn’t help that Miles felt VERY Elon on multiple fronts, which made it even better. But Helen getting to destroy it ALL - not just physically by smashing and burning and doing everything some of us wish we could do to a billionaire’s home, but by doing it in such a way that his whole damn empire is about to *fall the fuck apart*.

I kept thinking about Marta in the first movie and Helen in this one, how they both go up against the rich and privileged, although they wouldn’t have done so if a murder didn’t spur them on. They’re both exceptionally brave. Marta’s bravery may be more understated in comparison (God knows she doesn’t blow the house up), but they’re both the real heroes in movie where the urge is to go, “Well, Benoit is the hero, of course.” Even he would go, “No, I do this all the time. But HER! She’s a marvel.” God, I could watch a hundred movies where Benoit Blanc does his detective work while a woman stands up to privileged bullshit and wins over and over. I hope we get so many more Benoit Blanc movies. He’s SO good, but the movies also give him the BEST characters to work with or against.

Ugh, I just want to rewatch ALL of Janelle Monae’s scenes from the start. She had a scarf around her head in that scene with the box at the beginning and of COURSE she did, she’s wearing a robe, she probably just got up, but of COURSE she did, because she’s *Helen*, and she’s got a different haircut. And what I love is that yes, she smashed that box with the hammer because she was good and pissed and good for her, but also she’s the sort of character where if she actually sat down and tried to figure it out, you *know* she could. She’s sharp, she’s a teacher, she’s quick on her feet. But goddamn it, that box NEEDED smashing, and I feel like I could watch two straight hours of Janelle Monae breaking stuff and that would be my porn.

But I love Benoit Blanc so goddamn much, too. I’m not a James Bond fan so I haven’t watch Daniel Craig’s run (that’s on the character, not him), but I’ve adored him in other stuff. Like, he’s so much fun in Logan Lucky, a movie that doesn’t nearly get enough play for being VERY good and for featuring Southern characters without making them the butt of the joke. Oh, but Benoit.

Also, kudos to writing in the pandemic as a plot point in a way that didn’t make me want to whack the screenwriter on the head with a newspaper. Like, Kate Hudson wearing that jeweled chain mask was both so in character and SO infuriating because *people actually did that shit*, a fact I will NEVER get over.