#just….my thoughts.

[fenharel-babe]

I find it so sad that during the break up scene, he really just pours his heart out to Lavellan. He says how she’s beautiful, unique, and I know he doesn’t say it, but she’s able to literally make him almost forget his plans, make him feel like a normal man. And I still love that even if Lavellan keeps the vallaslin, Solas doesn’t show hate or be rude about it! Lavellan is hesitant to tell him no because she doesn’t want to upset him or hurt his feelings, so she goes about it slow.

“I know you told me this because you wanted to help, but the vallaslin is part of who I am. I hope you can see past—”.

“Stop. You are perfect exactly as you are.”

He accepts it, doesn’t pressure her, and reassures her that he still sees her and not the marks. He just sees her.

But when the marks are taken off, he looks happy (or relieved maybe?) and tells her how she is free. She’s always technically been free, but now he thinks she is truly free from something cruel. He remembers what he told the other elves, the elves he tried to save.

And I think about that one theory that when he looks at her with such love and remembers what he wanted to tell her, he snaps out of it. He loves her and he told her. Truly told her in words and not just actions. He spoke his own truth and realized that it was too much. He loves her too much, and he could see that she loves him, too. I think Lavellan literally saying, “I love you,” hurts him even worse because now he definitely knows she feels the same.

They both feel love and it’s strong, but still. He pulls away because her face, her entire being, and his entire reason for bringing her there makes him remember that he can’t do it. He can’t love her and drag her into another big mistake. He wanted to tell the truth to her, but my heart always likes the sad idea of him being afraid of being so close to her and having her truly hate him. Hate him for what he is, so he hid. He had another truth to tell her if he got scared, so he chose that path instead.

And he chose to leave her, even if it would break both of them.

And don’t think he doesn’t know what will happen when he goes back to Skyhold. You think he doesn’t know about her relationship with the others? How protective Dorian is of her, how Varric takes in little details about her and cares about her more than he lets on, Bull trusting her even if she is a mage and abandoning the Qun partly because of her, Cole being happier around her and wanting to help both of them but ultimately choosing her, Vivienne looking down on him even more and telling Lavellan that she deserves better and actually letting her walls down to comfort her dear friend, Cassandra’s disgusted grunts he thought only Varric would receive on occasion, he senses Sera’s pranks or even catches her doing some of them and they’re not just pranks, no, they’re definitely some dangerous ones to cause harm, and Blackwall no longer speaking to him as a friend or acting as if they could’ve gotten along he just gives him dirty glances and refuses to speak to him unless he has to.

He knows this, and I always imagine a part of him is a little happy knowing that she has people by her side, people (other than soldiers and workers) caring for her well being and doing everything to make her happy. Not just for the inquisition, but for HER. He knows it will happen, and I think that also adds to his guilt and pain even more. He may not have been close to all of them, but he held certain respect to them (maybe except Vivienne or Sera) and actually did care about their well being, but now the relationship is broken and damaged because of how much he loves Lavellan and how much she loves him, and how stupid he is.

And Solas may be good at hiding the truth and such, but when he breaks up from Lavellan and the emotional choice is chosen, he backs away from her and avoids her hands even if she reaches out for him, and literally turns around and walks away so…brokenly. His face is just completely showing his sadness and how he regrets his decision but has to do it. He can’t even keep the mask up anymore, and it falls and he kinda looks like he’s about to fall to his knees from emotion.

Is it to beg for forgiveness from her? Maybe. Is it falling to his knees to cry out his pain and regret at what he has broken? Most definitely. If he let it happen anyway.

It’s just SO MUCH PAIN.

My thoughts are in a rush and not making too much sense, but each time I see the break up scene and see Solas kiss her and grab her butt and then break up with her even if she begs him not to leave and how he BROKENLY WALKS AWAY makes me so sad. I just think about it a lot.

But how y’all doing? Hope you’re doing great.

[razzafrazzle]

Just Checking In! (aka Something About Red Triangles)

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[ameba-from-space]

[inkedberries]

after patrolling, unwinding in a diner somewhere ...

throw the man a bone batman geez

[badolmen]

People against piracy fail to realize that no, I can’t just ‘buy it.’ They stopped making DVDs and Blu-Rays. They’re barely offering digital copies for download. I am not spending money I could use for food or bills to pay for a subscription service just so I can always have access to a beloved piece of media. Especially not when the service will remove media on a whim without concern for how the loss of access to that piece will make its artistic conservation nigh impossible.

For example, I recently learned that Disney+ had an original film called Crater. It’s scifi, family friendly, and seems cool - I would love to buy it as a holiday gift for my little brother! But: it’s exclusive to D+ and THEY REMOVED IT LITERALLY MONTHS AFTER ITS RELEASE.

The ONLY way I can directly access this film is through piracy. The ONLY available ‘copies’ of this film are hosted on piracy websites. Disney will NEVER release it in theaters, or as something to buy, and it may NEVER return to the streaming service. It will be LOST because we aren’t allowed to purchase it for personal viewing. If I can’t pay to own it, I won’t pay for the privilege of losing it when corporate decides to put it in a vault.

So yes, I’m going to pirate and support piracy.

Edit: if you are able, use $5 you would otherwise use for a streaming subscription to donate to a GazaFunds campaign.

[ldr-is-my-life]

[aroacedavestrider]

people will hear you talk about struggling with mental illness and say “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it”. brother what part of the body does the mental illness happen in. what do you think is the problem

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[druid-for-hire]

[image id: a four-page comic. it is titled "immortality” after the poem by clare harner (more popularly known as “do not stand at my grave and weep”). the first page shows paleontologists digging up fossils at a dig. it reads, “do not stand at my grave and weep. i am not there. i do not sleep.” page two features several prehistoric creatures living in the wild. not featured but notable, each have modern descendants: horses, cetaceans, horsetail plants, and crocodilians. it reads, “i am a thousand winds that blow. i am the diamond glints on snow. i am the sunlight on ripened grain. i am the gentle autumn rain.” the third page shows archaeopteryx in the treetops and the skies, then a modern museum-goer reading the placard on a fossil display. it reads, “when you awaken in the morning’s hush, i am the swift uplifting rush, of quiet birds in circled flight. i am the soft stars that shine at night. do not stand at my grave and cry.” the fourth page shows a chicken in a field. it reads, “i am not there. i did not die” / end id]

a comic i made in about 15 hours for my school’s comic anthology. the theme was “evolution”

[delulugirlys-fairytale]

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[sweethysteria]

[gossippool]

*steeples hands under my chin like i'm sherlock* so you see,

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

[moncuries]

guess what i watched on new years (a redraw kind of)