#is it obvious I watched triangle of sadness

[demonslayedher]

Things that went through my head while watching this episode (in 2025!)

--The Wind & Snake Hashira are such meanies, even they do it out of concern for their fellow Corp members who nonetheless have worked very hard to become very capable swordsmen. They’ve seen too many other hardworking swordsmen be just barely not capable enough.

--But these boys did their best and deserve some credit! Look at those moments when they save each other!

--I still wonder why the demon bothered tying up his victim. Also, I hope her rescuers did not forget to get her down from the roof later.

--THIS WHOLE CHANBARA SCENE MY GOSH. And like, putting it in a castle. THEY SO FREAKING KNOW THEIR AUDIENCE. The way Sanemi just cha-chas real smooth as he follows the demon and tells him off, and then that head grab before the slice, and the totally unnecessary rain of blood later. The dramatic zoom up from below into Iguro’s eyes. The way we get a brief Snake Breath effect right as Iguro jumps up and catches the victim.

--And then when Sanemi is befuddled by the whole Infinity Fortress things his reaction is just: sit.

--Love and am puzzled by the stone sign leading the way to the Butterfly Mansion. Is that sign, followed by all those Jizo statues to pray for the safety of children and travelers, intended only for Corp members? Or, like, do they normal people stop by? Milkman just passing by the Butterfly Mansion on his normal rounds or something, nothin’ special to see here.

--At last Ufotable has made it good and clear: Shinobu has three goldfish. Are they all named Fugu? Maybe one is Saba? Maybe one is… Buri???

--Still love the added touch of Nezuko enjoying the sun but being distressed when SHINOBU SAYS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN

--To be so thoroughly entrusted with the safety of that which Muzan wants most, KANAO IS SO FREAKING STRONG and Shinobu good and well knows it.

--The swordsmith village was carting out naginatas and I love this fact. They might just be for the villagers to use, but… maaaaaybe there are Corp swordsmen using them? Give the short people naginata!!

--I have always loved the awkward squeaky fiddle BGM.

--Gotou has the best delivery of all the short lines.

--Tanjiro is really so chill with his place in the Corp that he totally almost assumed his connection with Tamayo is No Big Deal

--No, Tanjiro, she is still scared stiff at the thought of being brought before the Corp who has always held every intention of killing her for what she is and what she deserves

--The Hashira are all so sad not to see Daddy Kagaya

--I love how the birds are so obvious about who gave Amane a report about The Mark

--Everything about Mitsuri in this scene is lovable, but three things to mention here” the way her hands move when he tries to think of how to describe the Mark, her little triangle mouth when listening to Mui-kun, and her “GRYRARAA” when startled by Himejima clapping his hand. That sound lives in my head rent-free.

--Okay but speaking of Himejima, when Amane is telling everybody about the mark and they are shocked that such a thing could exist, she very, very quickly makes a slight mention of "some may already know of it through hearsay" right before Sanemi is like, "I haven't heard of it, why haven't we been told about this?" and Amane explaining why, there was a bright cut to Himejima on "some already know of it." Himejima-san, have you heard something of the mark, even if not all the details???? I wonder even if Kagaya (or one of his very small children) made reference at some point of, "wow, Himejima, you are so strong, you might even attain this feat that has not been actualized since the Sengoku period? Oh wait, nevermind, you didn't hear that, I didn't say anything."

--I love love love that Amane and the children could look so dumbfounded

--Also love and find it curious that at least Mui-kun (and probably Mitsuri too) got treated at the Butterfly Mansion instead of, say, anywhere remotely a little more convenient.

--I snorted laughing at Giyuu backhandedly call Sanemi “simple”

--“We must warn you before you start trying to attain the Mark that you will die early if you attain it.” “Hey, let’s train EVERYONE.” I mean, not that Himejima expects anyone besides the Hashira to get it, but a lower-ranked member like Tanjiro did get it first.

--Love the movement of the beads when Himejima jari-jaris them and that they fly off his hands when he claps

--Zenitsu has come so far in his confidence as a Corp member as well as how accepted he is by other people. He does believe they about him, which is something he always wanted, even if he inflates it a bit to suit his own wishes. But really, good for him!! He is secure feeling loved and appreciated now! I see the beginnings of “Legend of Zenitsu” already forming in his head, but good for him, really and truly!!

--Kiyo, Sumi, and Naho are so diplomatic. Also, eyecatch of the chapter cover with Sumi force-feeding Genya, yaaaaay!

--Sure, Aoi wouldn’t exactly say she’s lonely when Zenitsu isn’t there, BUT WHAT ABOUT INOSUKE?????

--This is still the funniest first thing Nezuko ever could have said to Zenitsu

--I sometimes say “Imofuke” because it’s so fun

--HAGANEZUKA-SAAAAAAN you’ve worked so, so, so, so, so, so hard COMPLETELY REDOING a sword polishing process that puts your life on the line even when you AREN’T horrifically injured and TANJIRO DOES NOT SEEM TO APPRECIATE THIS since he even thought it’d be just fine to go interrupt

--TANJIRO DOES NOT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND HOW DANGEROUS IT WAS TO THE SWORD TO USE IT IN THAT EARLY STATE OF POLISHINGGGGGG

--I still love the whole “Metsu” thing

--BUT I’M JUST AS ANGRY AS HAGANEZUKA IS

--Yay broken window dance! Yay “no idea” pose! Inosuke, you are such a king. And I still melt because we got Shinobu scolding him in the Taisho Secrets. She’s basically saying the same things Tanjiro said to him from day one; you can’t just let yourself get injured like it’s nothing, you have to think of the future and take care of yourself. And it gets through to him now. <3 HOWA HOWAAAAAA

--How are Zenitsu’s teeth not broken? How is Matsuemon’s beak not broken?

--I hope Himejima saved those face-down Corp members. Or he just cried. Somebody saved them, right??

--Would love to deep dive into Amane more. The fact that she cries when Kagaya thanks her in this scene, is it because it shows the end is near? Or has she gone all these years never having been thanked? Possibly, both.

--Still love the baritone crow

--Still love “Mugen” even if I do find the beginning of it kind of cheesy and unintentionally funny with everybody smashing behind the logo. I have that screenshot (as well as the others like it) on a mat with a compilation of Hashira art, and this image got cropped a bit, so it really is just Giyuu's head sticking in there. Trying so hard to be included. That's what you get for waiting until the last second to include yourself, Giyuu-san.

--But also, all the swords falling behind Muzan? A GREAT TOUCHHHH

--And then in the extended ending theme for this episode, first all of all, SWORDS

--SWORDS SWORDS SWORDS SWORDS SWORDS

--But also, hey, that’s Shinobu’s theme! And Uzui’s! And Giyuu’s! And a nod to the Swordsmith Village theme! Love the whole mashup.

[holycartoonwarrior]

For @jordanenthusiast cuz I love him here’s my very silly not at all serious list of what would happen to the succession crew if their private jet crashed on a stranded island.

1. Gerri Kellman- was on the second private jet w Karl and Frank and Karolina that didn’t crash. The only island they’re on is a vacation one off the coast of Italy, have fun! (I cant bare to torture them)

2. Logan Roy - Dies in the plane crash lol. Like IMMEDIATELY on impact. And the Roy sibs try to keep his mangled body w them for as long as possible.

3. Connor Roy - Connor, god bless his heart, has been WAITING for this moment. No more wall street, they're in HIS domain now. He's been training for this all his life. He's so ready to drink his own piss; he is so ready to consume raw meat.

Honestly he wouldn't do too bad except for his hubris gets him really quickly. He insists it’s his job to hunt as a man, and tries to spear a wild boar with a stick he worked and she immediatly gores him and he dies.

4. Kendall Roy - Kendall immediatly appoints himself in charge of getting a search party to come cuz he doesn't wanna do manual labor and wants to feel like he's contributing to an escape. He ping pongs rapidly between thinking they were meant to die here and that this is a sign from some higher power and giving up, to, in a manic state, deciding to build his own “fortified” raft overnight cuz he's sure if he floats to sea he'll find a waystar cruise ship to come save them soon enough.

Unfortunately the moment he gets into deep water and the waves get stronger, the raft totally unravels and falls apart and throws him into the sea where he drowns.

5. Greg Hirsch - he gets torn apart limb from limb by monkeys idk.

6. Roman Roy - Roman is the complete opposite of Connor. He's doing SO badly. The ONLY thing he has going for him is that he has strong prey instincts lol. They all know hoarding Logan’s body is kinda futile; and it’s Marcia (if she’s there, if not her then Tom) that is insistent they need to get rid of Logan's body cuz it's gonna attract diseaseand wild animals. They all kinda reluctantly give in except for Roman who gets REALLY mad and defensive.

He INSISTS Logan’s body should stay cuz what if they're found soon and they end up dumping their dad's corpse for nothing! (He's in denial) So in denial and delusional in fact he cuts off a tiny piece of Logan to keep w him when they dump him.

It, of course, attracts disease which Roman contracts and that only freaks him out even more and puts more stress on his body and he dies obviously cuz he's built like a feeble industrial age child. I think it’s fitting for his Dad’s sickness to kill him.

7. Shiv Roy - Got really fucking mad when she couldn't catch any food on her own and had to stick to foraging to plants she has no idea are poisonous or not or eat from other people’s catches (which are just scraps in her head) and got madder when Tom tried to give her more and more of his food he caught because it felt belittling. He tries to insist it's fine that she isn’t good at this, but Shiv insists she can catch her own damn food, and it’s obviously not fine, and he isn't helping. She’s paranoid they’re all gonna go Lord of the Flies on each other any second and if she can't do this for herself when it's every man for themself she's fucked.

In a panic she goes off in the middle of the night to set up some traps herself despite everyone's warnings and decides to go out further away from camp than necessary cuz she is worried someone may tamper w her traps to fuck w her head. In the darkness doesn’t notice and opening in the ground and falls into cave hiting her head and losing feeling in her legs. Unable to walk she starves to death.

8. Tom Wambsgans - I’m sure his Boy Scout training came in handy here. He built them hammocks and is the only one of them who rlly consistently knows how to start a fire lol. But As SOON as someone even joked about drawing sticks to eat people. Tom kept insisting "he is more than willing to sacrifice his body, his flesh per se, in case they ran out of food, if push comes to shove." Roman jokes that Tom would probably be way too gamey and sinewy to eat anyway, tough muscley man meat. When Ken & Shiv insist that is VERY uneccesary (again he is the only one who rlly knows how to start a fire) he INSIATS it's in "Logan’s honor" which doesn’t mean much when his mangled corpse is like rotting in the being eaten by fishes against the shore by now.

That's not even how he dies tho lol. He goes to find shiv when she goes missing in the night, finds her in a cave and obviously freaks out. Unsure what to do he tries to pull her out, but can't and slips too and ends up falling into the cave w her and they starve to death together. So romantic. <3

9. Stewy Hosseini - Realistically he would not be there but it’s funny to imagine so I’m gonna. Only came on this stupid trip because Kendall dragged him into a scheme and he's sooooo mad he just completely shuts down and isn’t talking to the Roy’s I think, esp because no one else is even remotely concerned abt him except for Ken who is currently mad at. Probably is mad up until Ken dies and then he is deeply regretful but it’s okay stewpot u did ur best lol. He does what needs to be done to survive even if he is not at ALL built to live this kinda life LMAO. He just wants to get HOME.

Doesn't even bother hunting it's dangerous and too much work. He's a forager queen and if he did die, god forbid, it’d boil down to not being equipped to handle the elements and plain ol’ bad luck cuz he’d accidentally eat a poisonous berry or something but he goes out peaceful in his sleep, inshallah.

10. Marcia Roy - WHY THE HELL WOULD SHE BE ON THIS TRIP??? She wouldn't!!!! She's on vacation! BUT.…IF she was, she's living through it no matter what!

She came from the mud and fought for everything she had. She will claw and maim and hunt and kill and forage and hike and wittle her heels into skewers to stab fish, even cannibalism if it like REALLY came down to it. SHE IS DOING WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE TO MAKE HER SUN RISE AGAIN! She is GETTING rescued.

Does anyone wanna read my long list of Wether each succ character would survive on a stranded island and if not how’d they die?

[cosmicmunsonwrites]

can you do rafe is your brother’s best friend?

a phone works two ways, you know

brothers best friend!rafe cameron x thornton!fem!reader

cw — fluff, angst, kinda sad if you squint but also kinda happy ending, alcohol

summary — rafe does his best to hide his feelings for his best friends younger sister until he cracks one day.

authors note — thank you so much for the request!! i’ll probably be posting a little celebration for 1.5k today where i’ll be writing as much as i can for as many requests as possible so please stay tuned for that :)

do not copy or post my work anywhere else.

“topper, did you take my speaker again?” you asked your older brother, voice soft but teetering on the verge of annoyance. he always did this. he snuck into your room when you were out and stole it, drained the battery, then forgets to give it back as if he can’t just buy his own. “i’m going out to the pool and i need it.”

the three boys turned their heads over their shoulders, kelce murmuring something under his breath, rafe just staring at you, and topper fake gagging from his spot between them. you were wearing a baby pink triangle bikini with a towel in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. “jeez, can you at least put some clothes on? my friends are here.”

you rolled your eyes at him and huffed. “its a million degrees outside and i’m literally going in the pool,” you said as if it were obvious. “can you just get my speaker please?”

“its dead,” he said dismissively before turning back to the tv to watch the football game with kelce. rafes gaze lingered for a couple extra seconds until he followed their actions.

a groan left your lips as you turned on your heel and headed for the back door. “you’re the worst,” you mumbled before shutting it behind you. thankfully your tanning chair was already set out from the day before, so you carefully laid your towel down and your water bottle underneath it then sat on the ledge with your feet splashing in the water.

you casually scrolled through your socials, checking up on what was going on as of late considering you hadn’t done much but sit in your room with sarah. after a few minutes of sitting alone, the door opened. the sound didn’t catch your attention and neither did the footsteps. you didn’t even notice anyone was outside with you until water splashed all over you.

a gasp left your lips and you watched the culprit return to surface in the water. you glared at rafe who was now smiling and rubbing his eyes. “dude. are you serious? i had my phone in my hand.”

he could only laugh. “you’re by the pool. why do you even need it?” he asked teasingly. it only made you more annoyed.

“i was doing stuff, asshole,” you muttered, pushing the wet strands of your hair behind your ears.

he quickly swam over to you and grabbed your phone from your hand then tossed it over to your chair. he parted your legs slightly and stood between them with his big hands resting on your upper thighs. “i think,” he began, his thumbs rubbing soft circles into your damp skin. “you should just pay attention to me instead.”

you chuckled under your breath and pushed at his shoulder gently. “you’re such a cornball,” you replied jokingly. “why are you even out here? shouldn’t you be watching the game with them?”

“kelce started bitchin’ about how it was too hot so topper got all pissy and suggested coming in here with you,” he explained, his blue piercing eyes staring up into yours. “i mean, c’mon. you know i’d never deny the opportunity to see you.”

you shook your head and looked away. “don’t do that, rafe,” you said firmly. you chewed your lip anxiously and pushed his hands off of you. small beads of sweat formed on your forehead from the heat and beaming sun, making you quickly get off the ledge and into the cool water.

he tilted his head slightly and turned to watch your movements as you created a small distance between the two of you. “do what?”

“that,” you stated. “don’t say things like that. the moment topper comes out here, you’ll act completely different and pretend none of this ever happened. you can’t just do that. its not fair and it makes me feel like crap.”

he moved forward so he was close enough to grab you with a frown on his lips, his hands gently holding your waist and bringing you to him so your front was pressed flush against his own. “you know i wouldn’t if i had the choice, sweetheart. we both know top would kill me if he ever found out.”

you pushed away from his again as he hands fell from your body and limp by his sides. “maybe you should’ve thought about that before you kissed me then.”

your first kiss. it was a week ago when he’d taken you out to get ice cream while your brother was out at a party that he had no interest in attending, especially if it meant he’d have you all to himself for a few hours. he’d driven you to some cute little ice cream parlor by the beach and kissed you under the stars like it was some movie and you two were the main characters. you thought things would be different after that. apparently you were really far off.

“c’mon baby, its not like that. you’re making it seem like that was a mistake,” he tried to reason. he didn’t like the fact that you were stepping further and further away from him. it made his heart clench uncomfortably. “i don’t regret that and i don’t want you to either. trust me, if it weren’t for topper, things would be different. we jus’ have to let him warm up to the idea.”

you scoffed under your breath and looked down at the sparkling water. “yeah? and how long is that gonna take? weeks? months? years even?” your voice was surprisingly calm and it was beginning to genuinely worry him. “you knew how special that was to me. and in all honesty, it does feel like a mistake, rafe. if you weren’t planning on having anything serious with me then you shouldn’t have even bothered. i’m not gonna let my brothers opinion dictate my entire life and you shouldn’t either.”

you could visibly see his posture drop slightly and his expression turn into and unreadable one. before he could try to convince you otherwise, the two boys emerged from the house all smiley and cheering loudly. “we found the good booze,” topper said excitedly.

they each took a bottle of beer, kelce handing one to rafe before giving you a glass cup full of a thick pink slush. “top made it for you since you’re too boujee for beer,” he joked while walking down the pool steps.

your brother joined the three of you in the water and took a quick sip of his drink. “i tried making that strawberry shit you liked in mexico,” he explained, waving his free hand around carelessly. “used vodka instead of rum though since you apparently don’t like that either.”

you laughed softly and thanked him as you listened in on the conversation kelce started up with rafe. except it was more of him just talking to anyone who cared to listen considering the others attention was elsewhere. the moment you glanced around the pool, your eyes met rafes. they hadn’t left you even for a second since you moved away from him.

— a few hours later

the house was now full of people. the scent of expensive cologne, alcohol, and a dull mix of sweat permeated the air and made your head spin slightly as you squeezed through the crowd and outside to the patio where more people were. lucky for you, the cooler full of what you needed was right beside the door.

you quickly reached down to grab a beer for sarah and a bottle of smirnoff pink lemonade. the moment you stood, a boy you recognized was standing at your side. “hey. you’re toppers sister, right?”

your brows furrowed as your eyes met his green ones. he was cute, you couldn’t lie but you were definitely caught off guard. “yeah,” you said wearily. “and you are?”

he chuckled softly and readjusted his stance to be a little more comfortable. “mike,” he stated. “we met once a little while ago at a party. i jus’ wanted to say you look really good tonight.”

a blush creeped across your cheeks and you smiled to yourself. “thank you,” you replied sheepishly. “you’re one of my brothers friends from school?”

he nodded and flashed a smile. “yeah, we met through our frat. we both happened to be rushing alone.”

you jokingly made a disgusted face and turned your head to look the other way. “whew. top always told me to stay away from frat boys. he says they’re dangerous.”

mike let out a hearty laugh. “not all of ‘em,” he said suggestively. “maybe come with me and find out?”

“i think shes gonna have to pass on that, dude. sorry,” you heard rafe chime in as he appeared next to you and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side. “actually, i just ran into your other girl inside. think she was lookin’ for you..”

you rolled your eyes and pushed yourself away from him. he didn’t get to dismiss you at one point then want you at another. “you’re ridiculous, rafe,” you said before squeezing past mike and pushing through the crowd to get up the stairs and to your room.

when you got inside, sarah was laying on her back in your bed scrolling through her phone. “finally. thought you got lost and i was gonna have to come down there and rescue you,” she joked playfully.

you handed her the beer and placed your own on the counter. “you should’ve. at least i wouldn’t have had to endure whatever that was down there,” you mumbled. “i’ll be right back. i need to use the bathroom really quick then we can get back to watching.”

as you left your room and shut the door behind you, you caught a glimpse of rafe coming up the stairs. you laughed angrily and headed towards the open door down the hall. “wait,” you heard him call out. you attempted to close the door, only for him to catch it before it clasped shut. “can you just talk to me?”

“can you stop being such a douche?” you shot back, crossing your arms over your chest. “what the hell was that out there? i was talking to someone. you don’t just get to pick and choose when you want to be with me. and you definitely have no right to just come in and get all protective over me.”

he sighed softly and stepped inside the bathroom with you, closing the door behind him. “with mike? really? he sleeps with everyone and jus’ moves on to another girl an hour later. trust me, you don’t want that.”

you could feel the rage bubbling deep in your stomach. he had some nerve. “what if i do? what makes you think you can tell me what i want and don’t want?”

“because i know you and i know you aren’t one to just sleep with someone random. what happened to that whole conversation about needing a connection with someone?” he questioned.

“were you also thinking about this when you kissed me?” you snapped back. “you do all these things to make me think you actually like me and then you just make me feel like an idiot the moment we’re in a crowd. you barely even talk to me when toppers around, rafe. i’m not gonna keep getting my feelings hurt over nothing.”

he shook his head and uncrossed you arms, taking your hands in his bigger ones. “i don’t wanna hurt your feelings, sweetheart. you know i wanna be with you. i just— i can’t do that to topper. he’s my best friend and—“

“then we can save the hassle and stop talking about this,” you interrupted. “you don’t get to get my hopes up anymore. i’m not doing it. its either you want to be with me or you don’t. if you really want to be with me, then you’d be willing to make sacrifices. do you really think i expect my brother to be completely okay with it? of course not. but i’m willing to work through that. if you’re not then theres no point in continuing this and you can leave.”

a frown spread across his lips and he looked down at his hands that were still holding yours, his thumb rubbing circles into the backside of your hand. “i wanna be with you, i really do. and i don’t wanna lose you over this,” he said softy. “can we just take things slow? i don’t care what topper thinks, i jus’ don’t want him to try to stop us from seeing each other.

you stared at him with a slight hesitation in your gaze. “how do i know you’re being serious? how do i know you’re not just gonna flake out on me again?”

he squeezed your hands a little tighter and took a step closer so there was only a couple inches between the two of you. “cause its always been you, sweetheart. you’re the only person i’ve ever felt this way about and i really, really don’t wanna lose you,” he explained. “i like you a lot. it scares the shit outta me but i’d rather do this with you than anyone else.”

you felt heat creep up your neck and onto your cheeks. “please don’t make me regret this, rafe.”

he smiled before moving one hand to cradle your jaw and the other to your waist. he pulled you close and placed a soft kiss to your lips, tilting his head slightly to deepen it as it went on. your arms wrapped around his neck and you arched your body just enough to press against him.

a muffled whimper left your lips when he squeezed gently at your hip and slipped his tongue into your mouth. you could feel your heart pound in your chest. you’d never gone this far. fortunately he was taking it slow though and allowing you time to mimic his movements.

too caught up in the moment, you didn’t even hear the door open. “what the fuck?”

[petriwriting]

Resentment - Theodore Nott X reader

summary: Y/N gets jealous when Theodore has a really beautiful herbology project partner.

A/N: They/them pronouns. Implied female reader, but not important. Jealous!Theo & Reader. Cormac Mclaggen being a shit head. and slightly toxic and abusive. Gryffindor Vs Slytherin love triangle (sort of)

Her long curls fell down her back perfectly. Sweet perfume filled the room, something with notes of rose, bergamot and cedar. Manicured thin fingers held a quill and took notes. she smiled, and laughed as if she were in a movie. He was wealthy, athletic and came from a prestigious pureblooded family. She was everything. Slytherins It girl. she was popular and the type of girl who was always nice, even to the Gryffindors and non-purebloods. Her name was Astoria Greengrass. Even her name had a nice ring to it, sounding just as perfect as her appearance.

She was fortunate enough to be paired with Theodore for the herbology class you shared, Theodore had been your long-time crush since you were children, but as you both grew more mature and time passed, It was somewhat evident he may not feel the same, as you had hoped. The two of you maintained a very playful, and flirty in nature relationship, but both parties kept it to a minimum, scared of teetering over the edge that would dileniate friends from lovers. a line that you felt was often blurred with the boy. But now, Theodore seemingly had eyes for another.

The professor went on about poisonous plants and their uses in magic, potions and tinctures. You day dreamt about putting wolfsbane in Astoria's coffee, in a jealous rage. Maybe you had learned something in that class afterall. You were rightfully upset. She tossed her head back and laughed at Theodore's every joke, and smacked his arm playfully. They would make the perfect couple, though it was sad to admit. both were young and attractive slytherins. You thought you surely didn't stand a chance against her. It was good though that your own class partner was jotting down notes. It was a nerdy hufflepuff boy, who asked questions a lot and kept pushing his glasses back up on his face.

You seethed in anger as you watched what was unfolding, watching the two closely the entire class period. Once class was over, you scurried away quickly. You just wanted to scream into your pillow, it wasn't fair at all. You huffed, rushing back to your dorm, and of all people to run into...Thud.

"I am so sorry," It is Cormac Mclaggen. His blonde hair, and strong jawline, boyish figure, now all standing in front of you.

"It's alright," you utter softly. the boy helps you gather your books that had scattered across the floor, your hand brushed yours and you swear you saw him flush. 'Are you headed back to your dorm?"

The question caught you off guard. Was it that obvious you were going back there to cry, eat chocolate and be alone?

"Yes, actually." you said finally. "May I walk you?" he asks. You shook your head at first, it would have been a polite no but you could use the company, and It never hurt to be seen with someone for once.

"Very well then. Shall we?" He asks, holding your books for you. It was odd that someone like him would even consider speaking to someone like you, coming from vastly different cliqes with different friends. you walked forward while he matched your stride beside you. "So, Herbology, huh?" He asks to break the ice, seeing your herbology textbook at the top of the stack of textbooks.

"Yes, It's been rough." you admit. "Just remembering all the herbs and which ones are poison and which ones are healing." you continued.

"That class was a breeze for me." He says with confidence. He isn't usually the type you would attract, but he is handsome and willing to talk to you. "Oh really?" you quipped, somewhat oblivious to the obvious flirting, but playing along anyway.

"Yes," Cormac says with a smirk. "I could tutor you if you'd like?" He offers. You stop at the common room entrance, he passes your books over to you. "That would be really nice, actually." you said. "I'd appreciate that."

Cormac nods, shifting his focus to you. "Meet me in the library tomorrow afternoon then? We can go over some material." you smiled softly. "Its a date then." you said, quickly correcting yourself. "Well, not really a date, date. But you know what I mean." you reply.

"Its a date." he nods with a wink and a smirk and then wanders off. you enter common room and then past the students sitting there leisurely. You enter to sanctuary of the dorm, finally. Did you just schedule a date? I guess If your longtime crush decided it was time to move on, there was nothing stopping you from doing the same.

. . . . . .

The next day, the afternoon came quickly. You appeared in the library early, before lunchtime to study on things on your own. Little did you know you would run into a certain someone and his 'friend'. Of course, as soon as you heard Astoria's effortlessly attractive laugh, your heart sank into your stomach. The mood you were in faded, and you couldn't stop thinking about Theodore.

You wanted to prance over there and tell her off in front of Theo, but you knew causing a scene would just make you look like a fool and word would spread, followed by rumors. So you stayed in your seat, taking notes for the textbook you were looking through, copying the illustrations and writing down key-words.

The laughter was like a melody, filling the air and piercing through the silence of the library, it was heard above the quiet chatter, and when you looked back with a glare your eyes caught Theodore's. You stared for a moment, and then looked away. Astoria was suddenly quiet again. You decided to play the game right back at him.

Cormac Mclaggen approached your corner of the library, and you smiled, standing to greet him with a hug, the confused, but not complaining boy embraced you tightly and you giggled. "Thank you for doing this." you whispered.

Mclaggen was clueless to your antics, just wanting a date and to study.. or so you had thought. The flirting was amped up to the max, and absolutely no studying got done that afternoon. Cormacs hands reached lower... past your lower back.

(Theodore's POV in italic.)

When I locked eyes with them in the library I knew. I knew that I had ruined my chances. I turn to my classmate and family friend, Astoria. The other Slytherins would be deathly embarrassed for me if they knew I had asked the girl for help. Despite my reputation as a flirty 'bad boy' as some would say, I knew this relationship was different, It didn't feel like just a crush, and I wanted to get things right. So Astoria was helping me flirt. She was pretty, sure and could have any guy she wanted, which is what made her the perfect qualified expert to seek help from.

"Girls like when you sit close to them," Astoria had told me, tossing her long hair behind her ear. "You'll know if she likes you if she plays dumb at first, classic move. and," Astoria explains. "They'll laugh obnoxiously loud at everything you say. Like this." she erupts in a thunderous laugh, she's faking it, but I don't think anyone can really tell. I sigh.

"Alright," I say. "What about if they aren't... so direct?" I ask her, uncertain. The person I had eyes for didn't seem like the type to giggle at my every word just because I was giving them attention, it seemed superficial. "Well," she begins with her lips pursed. "Then you'll have to be yourself if the classics don't work." She says. I'm unconvinced, I'm not the best at talking beyond flirting. and they are important to me.

"It's just like I told you in Herbology," Astoria says. "Being yourself will work once you've flirted and played a little. Make them chase you." she says matter of fact. I snicker, I know her secret, and that her tactics don't work on the one boy here she has eyes on. "Is that what you're doing with Draco?" I ask her, she flushes red and fingers the ends of her hair, a nervous habit. I noticed she did it when she spoke to him, so maybe even the experts get nervous.

"noo!" she exclaimed. "I try and be nice to him," she explains. "He's been through a lot." she frowns. "Sure, Astoria." I say her name very promptly. "That doesn't matter, I'm trying to help you remember?" she says. "Oh I remember." she chuckles again. "You are unbelievable Nott. so, Who is the lucky girl?" she asks.

This is the part where I looked up to meet their eyes. We locked eyes for a moment, I was mesmerized. Enamored. But then I see that Mclaggen and his bloody arse is hugging them. My blood begins to boil, I want to lunge forward and hex him, but I stay in my seat quietly. "It doesn't matter." I say. "We need to leave." I Say promptly. "Oh, ok." Astoria frowns again, softly gathering her things and following me out of the library in a rush.

. . . . . .

In the following few weeks it was now an official school-wide rumor that Theodore Notts' new girlfriend was Astoria Greengrass. There were even rumors from the Gryffindors that you were Cormac's new arm candy. It upset you, greatly. So you had been playing along and letting Cormac take you on dates and to honeydukes. You'd been doing all the things couples do, without the label.

You figured it didn't matter considering Theo had a new girlfriend. You had wanted to tell him how you felt, and you were so close too, until all this happened. Almost everywhere you saw him in passing he was with her and the other Slytherins. You avoided them specifically to avoid the conflict.

You were walking yourself to class when Cormac popped up, you tried to hide your dismay, you wanted to roll your eyes and scoff but you faked it instead. Cormac was clingy, and could be very pushy at times. "Hi love." he said with a smirk. You hated when he called you that. "Hello." you said quietly. "Will you be at my quidditch game later today?" He asks. you stop in your tracks. "Tonight?" you confirm. "Yep. you know where," he winks. "I have my Jersey from last year for you to wear from the stands." He says, pulling out a Gryffindor Quidditch Jersey that hasn't been washed and smells like sweat and cologne. You stared at the filthy cloth.

"Well, I have plans tonight." you said. it wasn't a lie, you did forget about his stupid game. Cormac looked at you like a lost, orphaned puppy you had just kicked. you sighed, not wanting conflict to arise. "I guess I can make it work." you said finally, grabbing the nasty shirt and holding it out. "right on!" Cormac cheers for himself. "I'll see you this evening." He says, kissing the side of your head and then rushing off into the halls to be with his buddies.

You wanted to scream, as you walked back towards your dorm. You needed a nap to clear your head. Cormac could be a great boyfriend, for someone who liked half-beaten flowers that were bearly alive, cheap jewelry, Honeydukes chocolates (Not even the kind you liked..) and for someone who liked to be smothered. You had to put an end to it before it got worse, and before he started to catch actual feelings, but you liked the attention and felt less empty, so you stayed around.

As you made it to your dorm you laid down in defeat, tossing the dirty jersey onto the floor. No way you were wearing that this evening. You'd wear a warm coat and your house scarf like you had planned.

. . . . . .

When the evening came around, you gathered around and got ready with your dorm mates, helping each other pick outfits and making sure your hair was perfect, It was a cute moment. Something heartwarming and refreshing before you would inevitably have to stand in the cold stands during a quidditch game, the one you didn't even want to attend. you hadn't even been thinking about how Theo would be there as well, until you remembered out of nowhere. It made you even more upset. But eventually you'd have to stop avoiding him and just be happy for the boy.

You just wanted a good fun evening, without unrequited love on your mind. You pushed Theodore to the back of your mind, for now. You tried to be present in the moment, just enjoy the time you had with your friends, no drama, no bullshit.

as you approached the quidditch stands, students were slowly filling the stands, Slytherin against Gryffindor. Both very... Passionate houses. you were hoping you'd blend in, without the obnoxious jersey you didn't bother wearing. Students chattered, the roar slowly growing louder until the start of the game. The cold air was nipping at you, piercing your exposed skin. You shivered slightly, hoping it wouldn't snow that evening. You chatted with your friends, who accompanied you.

Once the game began, everyone lined up in position. It started off slow, with Gryffindor in the lead, nearing to a tie. You watched as player flew past you on their broomsticks, an entertaining affair. Your eyes tried to ignore Theodore, but he looked so handsome in his Slytherin quidditch robes.. you couldn't help but feel warmth on your cheeks. You were pulled out of your dreamy state when Cormac waved for you, blew you a kiss and made a heart with his hands. you sank back into your seat on the stands, it was embarrassing. Your friends teased you about it making kissy noises. You hoped the Golden Snitch would be captured already to save you the torment.

Slytherin and Gryffindor were now tied, it was a race now. Both houses were incredible competitors, especially for each other. You secretly hoped Gryffindor would lose so you wouldn't have to celebrate with Cormac later, you felt bad for not liking him, and for stringing him along. You are lost in your own thoughts, despite the large crowd, the chatter and cheering.

You should have thought that sooner, Because that's exactly what happened. Gryffindor lost, by a very close call. Slytherins in the crowd cheered loudly, a roar of applause and laughter. A relief for you. You watched from the stands as everyone cheered for Theodore and his team, Cormac looked pissed off, in some side huddle with the rest of his team just under the stands out of view. You hurried down from the stands to the field, your hands were like ice cubes despite the fingerless gloves. You were surprised not to see Astoria lingering near...

"Hey!" Theodore calls for you. "Congrats on winning tonight, Nott." You said playfully, breaking the ice finally. while upset, you still cared for him. His eyes still made you feel warm and his scent was enough to make you weak in the knees. "Owe it all to the team." He says, running his fingers through his hair. "Non-sense, you did great out there. Best playing I've seen in a long time." You quipped, a sharp exhale escaping your chest as you saw Cormac wander over. Total eye roll.

He threw his arm around you, as if you were his property. You pushed his arm away and gave you a sharp look. "That your boy?" Theodore asked harshly, biting his lip in restraint. "What?" you questioned, realizing what he had meant. "No, no." you said quickly.

Cormac's cocky expression dropped to a cold one. "Excuse me?" he asked you dramatically. "Don't be ridiculous. Let's get out of here." he said. When you shook your head, clearly uncomfortable, Cormac grabbed the center of your upper harm, with a stern tight grasp. You gasped gently, the squeeze was painful as you struggled against him.

"Let me go!" you snapped at him, That is when Theodore stepped in and grabbed his wrist as he tried to reach for you again after you had struggled out of his grasp. "They said to let them go." he seethed through his teeth.

Cormac scoffed loudly. "Is he the reason why you refused to wear MY Jersey?" He looked at you, standing behind Theodore. He had said questionable things to you, but you were scared now that he had gotten physical with you. "Stay away from me," you snapped at him. "I should have never spoken to you."

Cormac laughs, had he had his wand with him he would have tried to hex the both of you. Unfortunately, he didn't have it. He hesitated for a moment and then swung on Theodore, luckily, like a cat his movement was swift and he was able to dodge. This only made Cormac angrier. "You son of a-" Cormac had tried to lunge forward, but your emotions and frustration got the better of you now, and you had stepped forward and kneed him hard in the crotch. The boy cowered in pain immediately, and you stood there for a moment, some of the slytherins cheered for you, some stared in shock, others were amused. your face went red, and then the tears threatened to spill over so you ran off.

In the evening cold, the snow had began to fall as the sun set over the school. You had ran through the corridors to find someplace private, landing on an empty corridor on the far end of school grounds. Immediately, the tears began to fall. You felt so stupid you had let Cormac Mclaggen of all boys embarrass you like that. and in front of the only boy you've ever wanted? That was just social suicide. You were crying not just because of that but because of how scary the situation was, now you'd be targeted by Cormac and his group. You wanted nothing to do with him from the start, you just wanted to make Theo jealous and to make yourself feel less alone.

You choked out another sob and you steadied your breathing.

. . .

I saw them there, after leaving my quidditch gear behind on the field. they looked so saddened and I couldn't bear the thought of that low life bloke ever hurting them. I wanted to hug them, tell them it was all going to be okay. They were sobbing, and my heart shattered. I knew I would find them here. I said their name tenderly, gently. They quickly brushed the tears away from their eyes and looked at me. "I'M sorry about all that." I say softly. "Is everything okay?" I ask.

They take a long breath and open up, finally. "Cormac hasn't been the greatest to me," They admit. I knew that much. "We aren't dating, by the way." they said. I sighed, and placed a hand over theirs in reassurance. Even with puffy eyes and restlessness they still looked breathtaking to me. "I was using him to make you jealous." They said. I swallowed in confusion.

"Why me?" I asked, I sounded like a desperate fool. I just wanted to make sure they were okay, no matter who they were with. "Because," They said. I sigh, not wanting to pry any further.

I finally speak up after a short silence. "You know... I really like you." I said finally. My heart is racing but it feels so good to say out loud. I anxiously anticipate their response. They look at me in confusion, which confuses me... "I thought you were seeing Astoria Greengrass." they asked me. I chuckle lightly at the thought, She's not my type, and very much into Draco. "No, no I am not." I say in disbelief. Its starting to make sense now, I supposed to an outsider my little secret deal with Astoria could be mistaken for a relationship. "She's only being friendly with me so she can get closer to Draco." I explain. "I had this deal with her... I would set her up with him if she would help me impress you." I say, it feels like spilling my guts. "I hope it worked." I add after a second.

"I had no Idea you felt that way about me." They say. "Being with you is all I've ever wanted since I met you." I admit sheepishly. "I just have never had any idea what to do with this feeling, It's strong and new for me." I continue. Oh, Merlin. Stop. Talking. though mentally scolding myself, and before saying anything stupid I take another step closer to them, inches from their face. They give me such a gentle and loving gaze it makes me feel warm and loved. I close the distance, embracing lips with them in a gentle embrace.

. . .

You were taken back by the kiss but embraced it, enjoying every second of the moment. Your hands felt up to the nape of his neck and into his hair, while his found their way to your lower back. You pulled back after a moment, embarrassed that you looked like a mess from the crying. "Then lets do it." you said finally.

"Let's be a really good couple." you said with a girlish giggle at the thought. "Absoluetly, anything," Theo says. You gaze into his eyes in another sweet moment. It was now somewhat official, your heart was fluttering and you felt butterflies congregate in your chest. An amazing feeling.

[elainsgirl]

I just realized how ridiculous this whole ship war is. We don’t have any solid proof about how any of these characters feel. We don’t know if Gwyn likes Azriel. We don’t know what Elain thinks of Lucien, or what Lucien thinks of Elain. We have no idea what Elain feels about Azriel. The only thing we actually know for sure is how Azriel feels about Elain — that’s it. We’ve barely seen inside Azriel’s head, yet everyone is jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst. People are making up wild theories and fighting like children, even though we don’t have any of these characters’ POVs yet. It’s honestly insane. The one thing we do know is that there’s clearly something going on between Azriel and Elain — that’s been obvious for a while. It was always going to happen as we read through the books. I’m not saying nothing could happen between Elain and Lucien — it could — but right now, it’s just Azriel, Lucien, and Elain. That’s all we have to work with! So people need to stop adding all this unnecessary drama to a story we all know is headed in one direction. It’s honestly sad to watch so many people convince themselves that the stuff they’re making up could actually happen. Did anyone seriously think Azriel was getting a book next, or even Gwyn? Come on.

Let’s talk about the complete lack of reading comprehension in this fandom. How can people seriously think Azriel is some F-boy who only cares about sex? It’s honestly wild how much people have assumed the worst about him. I read that bonus chapter, and when I saw the reactions, I was genuinely shocked. Where are people getting all of that from? I actually understood Azriel’s point of view, even if it wasn’t worded perfectly. And don’t get me started on the Elain hate. Yes, she’s quiet, and sure, some people find her boring, but Azriel is the exact same way and no one’s coming after him for it. People hated Nesta too, but after her book, most fans either like her or at least respect her. So why isn’t Elain getting the same treatment? This fandom is so hypocritical, it’s honestly unbelievable.

This whole shipwar was ridiculous 4 years ago when it first started.

Whilst I slightly disagree with your point about not knowing how elain/lucien/az fully feel - as there are concrete hintd and buildup to display their feelings, I fully agree w people jumping to the worst conclusions about Azriel just because of his bonus

Just because he confirmed he was in fact attracted to Elain and Elain attracted to him despite her mate being “lucien. Just because he questioned the bond exactly like how Feyre did.

the bonus really just proved that a lot of people have selective reading comprehension.

The “love triangle” has ALWAYS been between Lucien, Elain and Azriel. Its not even a love triangle at this point, as Elain isn’t torn between Lucien or Az. Putting that aside - poor Gwyns character has just been dragged into this situation by her “stans” despite the fact she showed 0 interest in Azriel - as a way to be the perfect love interest for Azriel. Everything Elain is not. Bcs Elain is hated & flawed whilst Gwyn is loved and perfect.

And yh sure. Anyone can sit back and say, “the books can go in any direction” - but thats willfully ignoring Sjms foreshadowing, clues and the very clear direction the books are going in. What antis don’t understand is - in this point of the story - not “anything” can happen. Sjm has set herself a clear arc with an obvious ship and all im going to say is - its not the ship where the two characters can’t even stand to be around each other.

I said this before - antis need to stop inserting their interpretations/opinions into canon. For example, Eluciens saying Elain shrinking back from Lucien is bcs he gets her all bothered and attracted to him, their evidence? Some characters find Lucien attractive so how can Elain not find him attractive and bcs she does it makes her uncomfortable that she wants him soo badly. THAT is the definition if inserting YOUR opinion onto CANON when its not backed up by the text. Just cause Lucien stans find him to be the most handsome doesn’t mean Elain does. Eluciens know elucien isnt a deep couple. Its surface level hence why they have to make up all this “lore” and “drama” about them which at a point gets embarrassing.

The fact that a quarter of this fandom genuinely believe a secondary character we JUST met will get a book before an ARCHERON sister who was one of the MAIN side characters in the og series is just…funny and unbelievable. “Oh but Gwyn appeared sm in acosf!” Omfg didn’t acomaf, acowar and even acofad focused on Mor yet was her book next? No it wad Elains and they LOVE saying that Gwyn appeared in ONE bonus therefore she is the next protagonist yet remain quiet when you tell them Elain appeared in TWO bonuses where she was focused on for some of it. TWO.

I think for me is the fact that antis - both Gwynriels and Eluciens - have twisted Az to be this disgusting, disrespectful and toxic male as a way to not ship elriel YET turn around and ship him with Gwyn? The way they make Az sound is so icky and abusive yet with Gwyn he’s an absolute angel? With the way antis have turned Az to be - the way they believe him to be, if any of it was true, he would not be a Li. That is NOT how an author would want you to perceive one of their love interests.

You know what it comes down too? Even if they pretend its not true, I will die on this hill, they see Elain as someone weak and meek, someone who won’t ever be able to handle Az and his toxic ways. Whereas with Gwyn, their perfect little mermaid will “challenge”, change and heal him bcs she is stronger. She is better then weak little Elain. That is what it comes down too, even w elucien stans - Elain is Luciens arm candy. His prize for the suffering he has endured. Someone to be pretty and there for him whilst he conquers and rules.

I got a little sidetracked / Yes. I think any normal person with nothing against Elain or a weird obsession with Lucien understood where Az was coming from and immediately linked it back to Feyres musings in acowar. Could Az have worded it better? 100%. But its not like he had any time to prepare. He was reeling, put on the spot, just hurt his crushes’ feelings and confused. But you got the gist of what he meant.

This fandom goes through a cycle and just never learns.

People hated Nesta -> hated Nessian cause Cass deserves better -> Cass interacted w Emerie? Some believed they’d be a couple -> Acosf released, Nesta lovers rose to the top and people loved Nessian until HOFAS

Elain is currently hated but more then Nesta bcs of ✨ misogyny ✨ -> “Azriel deserves better” -> Lucien deserves to be happy w his mate -> elucien/Gwynriel -> elriel book announced and then BOOM people will love elriel and love Elain and claim to be exactly like her,

I think at a point, after spending so long in this fandom. It just becomes funny and infuriating. I think its why you should alwYs find you safe places in this fandom. People you can go and rant, talk theories, opinions with etc. it makes the. Fandom so much better when you have someone in your camp understanding how you feel and in the same boat as you.

[ruhrohcantthinkofagoodusername]

Clown in a Cornfield Ramblings

Read/Listened to the first two Clown in Cornfield Books, and until the movie comes out and I watch it with someone, I don't have anybody to talk to; so just ranting. Spoilers under cut.

Saw a spot for the movie after a YouTube video, a VHS quality looking spot that I don't think represents the movie well, but it pulled me in, and I vaguely recognized the book, so decided to read the series before the movie.

First book was an enjoyable slasher, nice and with pretty good characterization, especially with Janet, love her inner monologue before she dies, growing up in a small town, the closeness is there, even with people who you don't really like. It seems a little hard to make into a movie, the open cornfield seems too open, the attack too much of a mass-killing rather than slashers more methodical, tension kills, but hopefully the movie comes up with a good way to do this.

When Rust and Cole first talked, like I usually do when two guys interact, I wanted them to fuck kiss. Cole's character was okay, liked him trying to go out to save others, but just thought he was going to be moody love-interest to the final girl. I thought Rust was a part of the Frendo plot, and was happy he wasn't. Was pumped when Rust and Cole kissed, didn't really call it at all, but was kicking my feet and giggling on the toilet when I got to that part.

My thirst for gay-romance overrode my horror-loving part, and did make every other aspect of the series pale in comparison to the relationship, it was all I could think of after the kiss.

The second book was good, fine maybe, beside the relationship. Bit much going on with the Frendo posse, I found myself nostalgic for the simplicity of the first book, which is kind of insane considering I had only read it the day before, but I admire Adam Cesare's politics and complete criticism of right-wing nuts. I know some want to divorce fiction from reality, but I think its admirable that he is using his clown-slasher books to deconstruct the conspiracy-addicted people fueling the republican party of today who are losing touch with reality.

The Hunter love-triangle made me feel like I was watching my parents divorce. Cole and Rust didn't have a good enough of a make-up at the end, or any at all really. Not sure what Cole's thought process was, we only get a single, solitary chapter from his viewpoint that gets interrupted by Arthur Hill coming back. Was Rust's idea of Cole trying to inadvertently push him away, to make Rust leave, the reason for Cole's flirtations with Hunter, or is Cole just a horny jerk? Or was he just flirting, and the fight with Rust in the hospital almost drove him to actually cheat? It was obvious that Cole loved Rust, especially in his chapter, with his guilt over how far he was going with Hunter, but it's still queasy to me and his limited reasoning does not help, making it seem like he would cheat given just a little more temptation. I also think letting Hunter die was not only sad, despite being a homewrecker, but a bit of a copout to not address if Cole would choose Rust.

With the hookup happening late to us in 1, with a little build up better upon a reread, I was expecting 2 to show us how Rust and Cole's relationship was before the massacre. Were they secretly together, an unmentioned, obvious situationship going on, or did neither know of the other's feelings, and Rust just went for it at the end? I wanted to know this, and what they were like before hand, but we didn't get that.

I already know 3 has them only appear in a cameo essentially, but I'm glad they're still together. I'd rather have them be in cameos then breakup/die.

With Adam Cesare talking about 4, Lights, Camera, Frendo!, I wonder if he's going to go more traditional slasher than what I hear 3 is, bring the two of them back, and if he has definite or tentative plans for any more, a 5 or 6, but either way, I need a couple of things, in order of most importance.

Rust and Cole ending up together by the end of the series, duh. If killed, both die together, after having gotten married and had kids, preferably with a daughter, Janet Victoria "J.V." Vance, but I'd rather them live forever.

Details of their life and friendship before the Victoria's death, or their falling out.

More involvement of them in the plot, together, maybe give Cole some fucking defense.

More detailed reason why Cole was acting like that with Hunter, and something that makes me like him more; I'll accept a blatant retcon if I need to.

Only if he plans on a 5 and 6, Rust having a side-thing, not fully cheating, but makes it equal enough to make Cole seem less of a dick in the relationship and Rust as a saint.

If any of the lower ones contradict the higher ones, scratch them; the boys ending up together is what I'm caring about.

Beyond that, which like I said, the gay relationship really blocked any other parts out for, almost all I can think of honestly, I need them to talk about the lost members of Kettle Springs more. Janet and Ginger were both only mentioned once in 2, Tucker none, I think 3 mentions Janet more from what I heard, but Rust and Cole only talking about her once in an argument in 2 feels like a disservice especially for such a strong character. Even Quinn doesn't mention her, just an odd choice. Also wondering if Adam Cesare wishes he would have kept Janet alive, she was such a captivating character, but most Mean Girls are.

Sorry for the ramblings, just can't stop thinking about those two.

[grrrlsoverdramas]

Ok, so let's say that at the end of the world, I decided to spend my free time watching Chinese historical family intrigue romance (there's gotta be a specific name for this genre but idk it) dramas. The point of this is brain rot, but one must pretend one's avoidance mechanics are purposefuly, thus:

The reason I enjoy watching these dramas is multi-fold. I'm chasing the high from Minglan, still. I appreciate a formula; particularly, I love a formula that includes revenge, tragic love triangles, competenance porn, and an emphasis on rationality/logic being hot. I love the way that period dramas, particularly in a highly censored environment, are such an explicit from of building national identity and morality. What does this society want to say about itself? What does its desires reveal?

So, in order to pretend there's some point to this, my brain is pattern-finding within this hyperfixation. So I'll start from the beginning.

The Double (dir. Bai Yun Mo, Lu Hao Ji Ji, Ma Shi Ge, aired 2024) Watched: June/July 2024 *Technically in the beforetimes, I may need to rewatch Overall: Dessert

Concept follow-through: ★★★★☆ (would have loved a bit more confusion re:is this bitch a ghost?, but it was good)

Coherency: ★★☆☆☆ (look, lots of stuff just happens, and that's fine with me)

Romance: ★★★★★★★★ (made for each other!! unhinged!!! if they can't be together, everyone SHOULD die, ok??)

Vibes: ★★★★★★ (unmatched, if sometimes a little schticky)

Bad guys and their conspiracy: ★★★★☆ (Cartoonish, but love that the princess royal had like a pretty fair reason for being that way, and acting was unparalleled tbh, so I will forgive)

Family and Villain Comeuppance: ★★★★☆ (wasn't able to match the vibes I fear)

Reverse Harem Factor: ★★★★★★ (Like he is jealous of how badly she wants her ex-husband dead!!!!! this is what I came to this party for)

Weird ancient-times focus? I don't remember

Is there a plastic surgeon in these ancient times? Not really in a big way, but there is obvious digital skin smoothing technology so that's dumb

Acting: ★★★★★★ (amazing, theatrical, here for the drama)

Ending: JAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moral of the story? The military is good, don't trust foreign nations, women aren't made for governance, but also this show kinda just fucks

Blossom (dir. Zeng Qing Wie, aired 2024) Watched: Dec. 2024 Overall: Good meal

Concept follow-through: ★★★☆☆ (fine, but pretty crazy how much she can remember/figure out about the "future" given the context of her first life)

Coherency: ★★★★☆

Romance: ★★★★★ (5 star chemistry, 5 star destiny nonsense, 5 star tension, 5 stars!)

Vibes: ★★★☆☆ boring

Bad guys and their conspiracy: ★★★★☆ (appreciated that different bad guys had different motivations, not everyone was just traitors to be traitors, especially appreciated the whole dad/bro situation of ml as being fairly unique; fl's family was a bit uninspired by comparison)

Family/villain Comeuppance: ★★★★☆ (esp. her former husband and her sister -- they are largely emotionally exonerated but still reach a just punishment, and they're still stupid! I was so mad/sad her sister died but also like.... it was fair; the emperor was too plot device-y though)

Reverse Harem Factor: ★★☆☆☆ (Provided us with one excellent scene; the second ml is mostly pointless in this regard but I greatly appreciate that he's like... also a mastermind and a bit of a villain, so he is a good character/foil, just not a good love triangle leg)

Weird ancient time focus? Agricultural development of tubers to overcome climate-related disasters

Acting: ★★★★☆ (main leads doing their jobs, others are inconsistent)

Is there a plastic surgeon in these ancient times: Yes, FL could never exist in the past and her make up makes that obvious

Ending: ★★★☆☆ boring

Moral of the story? men shouldn't cheat on their wives they should listen to them, murder of innocents for government reform is fine but murder of the powerful for personal glory is not, hot people should get to live

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - lots, just LOTS

I thought I would be pretty lean reporting for Oct 2023 but then (for reasons relayed here) the weeklies got saved by a drunk avenging hacker in a hotel room.

Oct 2023 Wk 1

Except I still can't watch IFYLITA, because I use my other computer for it.

Gotta say though, watching tese mostly all in one day (for travel reasons) is beyond even my BL superpowers. I did my best tho.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - Sailom, sweetie, Kang is never sleeping alone again. It wasn't really translated, but Kang's way of speaking in that opening stinger was VERY cutsie. Also the gay sheets have made another appearance. I do have to say that "rich kid problems" is not my favorite story arc, but I still think this is a great Thai BL.

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 6 of 8 - I love that they are finally talking to each other but Yi’s whole personality is shifting. Honestly, this pair is great at kissing and casual touches, but the friendships are the best thing about this franchise. Also Mr Chenne remains my fav character. But where did Diao's baby superhero team come from? And why? This show is very confusing... It’s also not very good.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) You Are My Soulmate ep 7 - This was the one of the series I was looking forward to the most, because silly, pretty, and v BL. It is, in fact all those things and nothing more. So I'm enjoying it, of course.

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - I like it, but it feels like it's gonna be so sad. I'm having Promise and Dew the movie flashbacks. Plus 12 eps seems too long for this narrative thread. I am worried.

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 6 of 10 eps - This show is so slow it's hardly worth the bandwidth, but we attained "baby is a floppy drunk" and thus a finger bite frustration scene, which was nice.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 9 of 10 (not a BL but I'm watching it anyway) - Ray is so mean to Sand. The not-a-thing with Sand & Nick was cute. I’ve had several experiences like that. All my queer friendship groups tend to be incestuous, but sometimes they're just too much of a sibling and trying to sleep with them is the most unsexy thing in the universe. To be fair, I’ve also been in Ton’s position (this ep). Jojo sure makes queer shizz. But also, Ton must have a magic rod with everyone wanting a repeat. (I'm so glad they put Neo in this role, no one else at GMMTV could play him as complex or sympathetic.)

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Viki) eps 5 of 10 - now officially known by me as "I'm too sunshine for this seme" where our boss is being hella obvious but our cinnamon roll is just too ooey-gooey to notice. Al.though, baby boy, he takes you home, sleeps on top of you, feeds you cookies (IN HIS BED) and keeps you in his space? Surely even this sunshine is catching a few rays of truth?

Gaga's *unintelligible gay murmuring* is my favorite caption EVER.

Also the name of my new ASMR YT channel.

Bon Appetit (Korea Weds iQIYI) 3-4 of 8 - ah gay panic, also what is Korea's obsession with 7 year separations? Is it only true love if you wait 7 years? Dohoon is SUCH a flirt, it's kinda great! Also, since it's Korea, we got us a bit of a love triangle with 2 hyung romances, so I (of course) am torn. Either way Dohoon is going down. I do love how much time we are spending with the food in this drama, finally one that lives up to its name. On an entirely different note, Korean camping is the most bizare thing to me. It's SO damn civilized. There will be NO DIRT. They pack blow torches. And full dinner sets. Every time I see it in a drama, I'm amused.

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - OMG these 2 are so in love with each other, and so ridiculous about it. They're tiny idiots but I love them.

If It’s With You AKA Even If I Fall In Love With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’ (Japan Gaga) ep 1 of 5 - from MBS a live action adaptation of Kubota Maru’s manga ‘君となら恋をしてみても. Amane has stopped loving people due to trauma until he meets Ryuji. At first Amane just wants to play with Ryuji but… feelings.

I like the odd Japanese mature-childishness in this one. Plus a broken sunshine who is out in a kind of aggresive way and an instinctive caring seme. What's not to love? Well, it's Japan I'm sure it will surprise me one way or another.

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 3 of ? - the cray cray step brother quazi incest is a bit much for me. Why does VBL just suddenly get so unhinged like this?

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 9 of 13(?) - resumes next week

It's Airing But...

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 8 of 12 - I will try to watch 8-12 and do a series review when I get back in November but... not sure I will be able to. Fingers crossed.

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 8fin - I will complete and drop a review in Nov.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - 4th installment in this series (1st series, 1 special, 1 movie prior) about a lawyer who lives with his boyfriend, a hairdresser, and cooks for him. I find thie series more fun to binge, som I'm waiting until it completes its run.

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - in classic JBL fashion, I Cannot Reach You could not be reached. 

Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine? AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan cinema release in-country only) - This one is a movie from Japan so in customary fashion who tf knows when (or if) it will get international distribution. Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office.

In case you missed it?

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) Apparently ended its run I DNFed this at ep 3. So no review from me.

My Beautiful Man: Eternal AKA Utsukushii Kare Eternal (Japan movie Viki & Gaga) - Play it again Sam, only I'm kinda tired of this song. I was v dramatic tho. And it's always nice to be reminded JBL can kiss when it puts its mind to it. 8/10

Next Week Looks Like This

Upcoming October BL

10/31 SHADOW (Thai VIU ????) - this is a horror BL featuring ghosts and other paranormal elements in a high school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all, but if it must be done in BL let Japan do it). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools.

10/? Bump Up Project AKA Bump Up Business (Korea ????) - BL staring OnlyOneOf that released(??) as a movie in July but is now being recut and reissued as a series. Stars NineMill and from Idol Romance bulled as a love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency (based on a webtoon). OnlyOneOf have been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV work in this post. Idol Romance will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You) but I don't think we will get any in this. After that OmegaX Shoulder bullshizz buisness I am very wary of this show.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I've seen this Chinese drama like... no wait... okay it's like EVERY Chinese drama ever.

(both Mr Cinderella 2)

I only got to watch this scene and the bath, but bot were pretty darn good! I Feel You Linger in the Air

There's only one bed but they slept together on the floor anyway. One of BL's oddest tropes.

I do love a finger bite. (both Venus in the Sky)

Good advice

(Naughty Babe)

(Last week) 

[gritpyre]

YOU KNOW WHAT IT ISSSSSSSS

Holy shitttttt this episode was all that I ever wanted and more

My precious little princess Karen page is finally here I yelled when she appeared I love her so much I hope she gets to murder people in s2

Words can't convey how much I missed her 😭😭 though I had an inkling she was gonna call frank to go help matt because she trusts him a lot and she knew matt's idiot ass wasn't gonna seek help on his own!!!! I love how she and matt are rekindling their friendship I could really tell they still mean the world to each other and I know, I knowwwwww they're gonna play the love triangle between her and frank and matt and my aro ass is already tired but there's nothing I can't queerplatonic realtionshipfy 😤

I really don't care about endgame couples all I ask is for karen and matt to continue being important and meaningful to each other just like foggy was with both of them!!

HAVING SAID THAT I think vanessa and fisk are iconic as fuck, having dinner in your underground dungeon where your husband kept and tortured your affair and then you killed him???? Oh I have no choice but to stan 😩😩

Plus I much prefer them being an evil couple together than having vanessa be the pure innocent wife that disapproves of fisk's actions, that would've been so boring I'm here to see evil women commit heinous acts and get away with them!!!!

It does feel obvious though with the cliffhanger that this was supposed to be a longer season that got cut in half but honestly I'd rather them take their time with the production of the following episodes so they maintain the quality and edge of eps 8 and 9 - it does make me sad that we could've had an entire season of the new crew's vision had marvel gotten their shit together earlier but it is what it is, at least they got there in the end!

I'm gonna treat myself to binge watch the entire season during the weekend let's fucking goooooo

[transryanguzman]

I'm so torn between finding it really cute (obviously) that buck is all about eddie and a little sad that his stories since s7 haven't really been his, not even his coming out or relationship with another person. Imagine the outrage if every single eddie scene was about/with/mentioned buck. Or if buck had been gone for 1 episode and eddie said buck 15 times lol again, I love them and I know this helps on the road to realization but eddie is his own person with separate stories and I wish buck had his own too. At least an nde or something with bobby or idk, give him something?

i think i sort of disagree bc i do think bucks coming out and sexuality stuff was about him and it was fandom that twisted it into some weird heteronormative young adult novel level who will he choose now that we know he’s queer love triangle (because that’s how it’s very much felt and still feels to an extent - like we’re all about to start wearing team tommy or team eddie shirts any day now ajdksksjsnsbsbs). like with that kind of a story i think you needed something to kick start it and that thing probably needed to be a guy, so there’s no way it couldn’t have been SOME kind of a romantic story.

but i think aside from that - he had the gerrard stuff, which definitely affected him in a different way than everyone else and he still has the gerard stuff now because we know he’s coming back around AND we know he’s still trying to contact buck and be his mentor or whatever. and yeah, eddie’s got his own stuff going on but i do think buck is a part of his story too - it’s just in a quieter way bc eddie is a quieter guy (emotionally and with the way he expresses his love and his emotions, not literally) where as it’s harder with buck because he so wears his heart on his sleeve and loves and feels so loudly that it is definitely more obvious and more in our faces but i think if eddie were around without buck you’d feel the absence - it’s just that buck has been there for him, a steady presence that eddie needs. we’re still talking about the buck of it all in eddie’s story, despite it being more or less about eddie and chris. yeah you’re probably never gonna have eddie getting drunk and talking to someone about how amazing and perfect buck is because it’s just not who eddie is. he’s more likely going to get a little drunk and call buck on facetime and stare at him with a goofy smile for an hour, which i feel like is very much what we’re seeing.

i think it’s hard to separate them from each other’s stories because they’ve always been so linked. when something has happened to one of them it’s happened to both of them - the shooting, bucks lightning strike, chris leaving. it’s like - no they are not canonically a couple but it feels very much the way the couples on the show are written. if something happens to athena, we know bobby’s story is going to intersect. same with karen and hen or chimney and maddie.

so i get where you’re coming from but i also don’t wholly agree that that’s what the show is doing. i very much think sometimes that it’s what FANDOM does and that’s just part of it. sometimes we’re gonna watch the show with shipper goggles. i do very much think buck has a storyline rn that eddie is a big part of, but i think bucks story has always been a bit of story with a romantic twist and that’s okay. i also don’t think it’s the only story he’s had this season or even last season.

idk if this makes sense bc its 1am and i should be asleep akdkdosksndn

[stranger-theory]

Expand on current narrative that means byler? Because biased based theories aren’t a narrative I could argue a whole theory that Joyce and Karen want to get down and dirty with time and screenshots and easily led “narrative”

Although i'm not as articulate or as expert in expressing my opinions on this as I would like, i'm willing to try my best to explain to anyone who will politely listen.

Quick note: Using "bias" would mean that I treat Byler with higher status, and that I don't listen to any Mileven perspective, even if it's objectively the right one. Both ships have a shot, I just lean to the Byler side, but that doesn't mean i'll never listen to a Mileven. I'm more than open to hear why that perspective makes sense to them.

That being said, the first thing I would like to say is that technically, yes. You could argue that Karen and Joyce would be into something like that. But it's obviously not anything like Byler, specifically considering that there isn't a love triangle situation going on between Joyce, Karen, and Hopper.

Again, you are correct in the sense that these are simply theories, and anything can be the outcome at the end of the day, but it's more likely for Byler to happen than Joyce/Karen. The relationship between Mike and Will has been explored far more than an example like that. By that comparison, Byler's chance skyrockets.

-Karen/Joyce haven't had scenes with [tender, emotional music playing],

-Karen/Joyce haven't had the most obvious queer coding,

-Karen/Joyce haven't been confirmed by the Duffers that one has been canonically in love with the other through the whole show,

-Karen/Joyce don't have a famous love triangle where people debate wether or not Joyce wants to leave Hopper for Karen,

-Karen/Joyce aren't being promoted along with the other couples in posters or general media for the show,

-Karen/Joyce are not in a similar situation to Byler.

Now that we've established which is more likely, let's remove the comparison, and talk of Byler generally.

I've always said: there's always a ship for anything. So it isn't really a surprise that there were big Byler stans back in 2016, and I can't count that as proof. What's bigger proof to me is how many people have become stans now. There's such a large community of Bylers on tumblr who genuinely believe they'll end up together, and they're dedicated fans. I've seen this show sixteen times, and the past six watches have given me confidence that they stand a good chance. Their story makes sense to me in a lot of ways, mainly being the general idea for the love triangle.

Let me explain the Byler plot through my lens.

Imagine this: Two best friends since kindergarten. One day, Boy1 meets Girl. Their friend group keeps insisting that they like each other, so Boy1 gives in and says, "Why not? It's all part of growing up anyway, right?". Boy2 becomes jealous and sad that Boy1 is pushing him away for Girl. What Boy2 doesn't know is that Boy1 and Girl aren't the happy couple he thinks they are. Boy1 feels unfulfilled in this relationship, and he feels strange about his friend. In hopes that these feelings leave, he pushes Boy2 further away. Because of obvious tension, Girl confronts Boy1 about why he can't say "I love you". And it's simple. He can't say what he doesn't mean. Friends don't lie. Girl and Boy1 know they aren't in love, but for the sake of normality, they pretend. (Next is my idea of after canon) They eventually talk about everything, and feel at peace. They become best friends who want nothing more. Boy1 grows more comfortable with his feelings for Boy2, and they even flirt sometimes. Something dangerous has returned to their small town, and stress is high. Through this stress, their bond is even closer, and they confess the years of feelings they have. Maybe a smooch?? Who knows. They're secret for a bit, but when they tell people, everyone is happy for them. Boys who've been pining for years, but couldn't say anything about it because of heteronormativity(rip), finally have their happy end.

That's a dramatic run down of how I see their relationship going. Again, you don't have to agree, but since you asked, that's how I see it. There are also other things that aren't in the show itself, that I find interesting. They constantly promote Byler along with Jancy, Lumax, and Jopper, meanwhile El always has her own posters/pictures. They use a song between Lumax for a Byler scene (we know how important music is). Mike's top Spotify song is "Smalltown Boy", a song about being gay in a smalltown and wanting to run away so you can be out. There's also "Are Friends Electric?" in the playlist (I think the title explains itself). Honestly there's a lot his playlist says, but those are my top picks for kinda fruity.

ANYWAY, i'm sorry that this was a bit long, i'm just not one who's very good at explaining what I mean with fewer words. I hope you understand better why I see them becoming a thing, and why I wouldn't say it's an unfair bias. I think both have a chance, but this is my take on why this makes more sense to me. Thank you for asking! This took me way too long to write, but I hope it helped.

[madamemachikonew]

2, 7, 23, and 34 for Theta

(Or all of them, but that both feels like too much and some of them are pretty obvious)

2. what sort of music would they like? have you thought about what genres or bands do they lean towards? do they have a favorite song?

He listens to pretty much anything that he can stick on as background noise without distracting him from working. But if he's in the mood for moping Howl's Moving Castle style, then it would be to 'Hab' Mir's Gelobt' (aka the final trio) from Der Rosenkavalier by Richard Strauss. It's the culmination of a love triangle.

If I had to associate a song with him in terms of what reminds me of him, it would be Count Grassi's Passage Over Piedmont by The Divine Comedy. I'd love to write a one shot of him based on this song, as I could imagine him feeling truly free in a hot air balloon and happily tossing the picnic basket over the side to gain more height. 'If I were to die, then let it be in summertime, in a manner of my own choosing...'

7. favourite animal? Why?

The way I unhesitatingly said 'frog spawn'. The whole life cycle of a frog is the closest he can get to watching cells divide in real time, as well as them being an evolutionary microcosm. He loves to watch tiny gelatinous blobs turn into wriggly waterborne life forms, who then eventually sprout legs and flee to land. And freedom.

23. how would you describe their voice? can they sing?

Average singing voice. Neither particularly sweet nor tone deaf. I kind of imagine his speaking voice to be reminiscent of a young Jude Law. Not quite as well-spoken as his Bosie Douglas but not quite as Londoner as his Gigolo Joe.

34. how would your character describe themselves? it doesn't have to line up with how they really are

Indolent renaissance man.

A few bonus ones (I've tried to pick the least obvious ones though some of the questions made me a little sad for him like how did he spend childhood summers and will he ever go home)

are they associated with a certain color? what color do they wear the most?

Dark navy-teal blue, the kind reminiscent of old Swedish palaces. Basically this colour. He often wears his signature velvet frock coat in this colour, highlighted with embroidery in silver thread.

3. weapon of choice? any particular reason they chose their weapon?

Length of pipe, spanner, violin, wine bottle, monkey wrench, easel, welding torch...basically whatever he can get his hands on, since he doesn't customarily carry a weapon. He is skilled with a rapier, but that's just for fun. He generally doesn't enjoy fighting.

12. how long have they been around? do you know their birthday? is their birthday the day you made them or another day? what do they think of celebrating birthdays?

Officially his first chapter was published on 23rd July. But for some reason I keep gravitating back to 25th May as his birthday. So it's that, I guess. Birthdays are bittersweet because it isn't really a birthday in the traditional or biological sense. He doesn't celebrate them, since he never expects anyone to remember them, plus they're slightly meaningless amidst the segments. Consequently he will feel quite touched if someone goes to the trouble of remembering. But he takes a quiet pleasure in the fact that it's his and not Dottore's.

22. do they sleep well at night?

He is very nocturnal, but not through insomnia, rather it's his most productive time of the day. It's easier to concentrate. But if he goes to sleep, he sleeps soundly for the most part.

30. do they smell like anything notable?

Citrus cologne masking either engine oil or linseed oil depending on whether he's been painting or engineering. And cigarettes.

[craziestfangirl98]

Thoughts on The Trainee Ep 9

I continue to adore the show soeosso much.

I would've loved to see Ryan and Jane more this week but then the moments they did have I loved them.

Ryan being on literally cloud (nine) was EVERYTHING to me, although I absolutely do not like the new shoes (this is coming from someone who ALWAYS struggles with the shoelaces. 😭😭😭

Pai trying to drink her coffee in peace only to get interrupted was sad to watch. Let my girl drink her coffee in peace. She needs it.

(I'm gonna address the love triangle scenes at the end.)

I love how intentionally the windows error sound effect comes up everytime Pai thinks Phi Baimon is the crush.

Jane has literally thrown caution to the wind and has started to actively and obviously pay attention to Ryan only for his stupid ex to come back.

As much as I don't enjoy the continued jealousy I think this episode especially is much more nuanced. One of them coming from the fact that it is an ex, and the other from what Ryan also says out loud about not knowing what Jane wants, because although Jane acts in ways which are romantic for him, Ryan doesn't necessarily see that isolation because he has only (mostly) seen the caring side of him. And even the jealousy that Ryan had until the previous episodes was more so him observing people liking Jane and not liking it without understanding if he could even feel that way. (Kind of reminds me of Rain with Phayu in the special episode, everytime he would get pouty towards Phayu because he is liked.)

The very obvious manner that Jane was tense while making the coffee for Ryan, like you could see his shoulders just be so stiff and and shaken, with the conversation with the ex, with Ryan's accident, with the implication that the accident could have been avoided and the thought of losing Ryan shows how brilliant of an actor Off is. How he can embody his entire physicality into it and I absolutely love it.

I love Pah and love that he finally got to talk things out and got a resolution with the accounts lady. The entire conversation he had with P' Jo was so so beautiful and meaningful because it addressed the insecurities and addresses other people being rude to him and showing that P' Jo is like a Jack of All Trades and an amazing human being and seeing that as a kind of reflection with Pah I feel. Also was nice to have a mentorship moment for Pah finally after ignoring for so long.

Was starting to hate the accounting lady but was redeemed which was good.

Love the final conversation between Ryan and Jane. Love that Jane was forthcoming finally. Love that Ryan was asking questions like Jane wanted him to. LOVED THE HUG. Was soooooo soft I melted. I also like that the physical connection was built after having finally addressed if they are on the same page.

Which brings me to the part ai find iffy and the part people will say I'm being a hypocrite about but, I have my reasons to dislike it.

I do not really like where all three of Tae, Pah and Judy are at right now. I'll start with Tae.

I think it makes sense that he feels unmoored about being single again, but it felt like the scene where he is begging Pai to tell him how to be, was so that we feel bad for Bahmee. So that it feels like Tae was useless and relying on her fully, while giving nothing and was being framed so that, Bahmee kissing Judy and cheating on him was not a problem. I hate how the next episode is him trying to get her back, I hope if that happens, the resolution is accepting that they are not good together and that being separate is their growth. I also feel that Bahmee should come out of this single and I'm gonna talk about her next.

I think Bamhee going from being only focussed on Tae and her relationship with him to latching on to Judy while also constantly comparing both of those is not gonna help in the long run and is only gonna come back to her not being able to work through things. I hope it doesn't really in that.

As to why I am happy that Jane and Ryan physically moved towards each other while I'm critical about Judy and Bamhee, is the same reason. Jane and Ryan got onto the same page before they did anything. Even as small as touch. Judy on the other hand has been making physical touches a regular thing without considering the power imbalance, the fact that they were on different pages, including when she reached out to kiss Bamhee again makes me question it.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I'll be able to watch it this weekend because my mum is visiting me and I finally have my graduation ceremony. Ahhh I really want to watch it because I love it but also cause it'll be a good distraction from the stress.

[camillemontespan]

you can tell me anything [drake x camille] [one shot]

This is vintage Drake x Camille! So much angsttttt.

*******

Camille wasn't herself tonight.

As the string quartet played their harmonies, champagne was poured and the nobility laughed and gossiped.

Everyone in the entire ballroom was oblivious to the fact that Camille wasn't herself and yet, only Drake could.

It had only been three months and he could already read her like a map.

Her smile was forced and her eyes, usually filled with sparkle, were flat.

She held her champagne flute tightly as she listened to Liam tell her a story which Drake could tell was meant to be funny from Liam's hand gestures and facial expressions but she wasn't laughing.

Drake was sitting in his usual corner near the bar. Nobody except Liam or Camille would talk to him at these events, so Drake spent most nights wiling away the long hours with whiskey and a running commentary inside his head.

He always watched Camille. He knew he shouldn't and he probably looked like such a creep but his eyes always followed her around the room. He couldn't help it.

She always shone in these settings. She glowed and shimmered, her laughter echoing around the room. Except tonight, obviously.

Drake wondered what was wrong. What happened today? He thought back.

They had spoken earlier. Oh god, what if he had said something that upset her? He didn't think he had… in fact, Drake had been on good form today. Not as sarcastic as usual and that was an achievement.

Applewood? Maybe she was thinking about what happened at Applewood. He knew it had been a horrible night for her, fucks sake he had the bruises to prove it, but surely she would have talked to him about it earlier? They had shared that experience.

Oh for fucks sake. They had what therapists would call ‘shared trauma.’

That wasn't the best start to a relationship, was it?

Drake sighed. It wasn't a relationship. He had to stop thinking of him and Camille like that. She was in a competition to marry his best friend.

It was a fucked up triangle.

They had kissed a few times. Shared secrets at 3am. Spoke about their dreams and fears.

He watched as Camille smiled faintly at Liam's punchline before belatedly laughing. It was a high tinkle and sounded very unlike the throaty, warm laugh that Drake was used to.

Hana joined Camille and Liam. She gently rubbed Camille's arm and the two women shared faint smiles.

Okay, so Hana knew something.

Drake watched as Liam excused himself to join Olivia who had been sauntering around, her eyes focused on him the whole time he had been speaking to Camile.

Hana bowed her head as she listened to Camille, who was now whispering in her ear. Over Hana's shoulder, Camille looked across at Drake and their eyes caught.

Drake's heart skipped as it always did when he and Camille locked eyes. Always.

Camille gave Hana a small hug and then strode quickly away, ducking her head down.

This was not like Camille at all. She never left the events early.

Drake stood up and abandoned his glass of whiskey. He walked with purpose through the ballroom, keeping a safe distance from Camille so it wouldn't look obvious that he was trying to catch her up.

He caught up with Camille on the main staircase.

‘Montespan!’

She stopped and turned, looking down at him. Her eyes were shiny, as if she was holding back tears.

‘Drake, I need to be alone…’ she croaked.

Drake strode forward and reached the step below her. She looked down into his eyes and Drake forced himself not to become lost in hers.

‘What’s wrong?’

She looked away, biting her lower lip. Her hand gripped the stairwell, turning her knuckles white.

‘I just.. I feel sad, I guess.’

Drake's eyebrows furrowed with concern. He studied her and could see that she genuinely looked like she was on the verge of tears. ‘Okay, let's get you somewhere,’ he murmured. ‘We can talk.’

She shook her head. ‘N-no Drake,’ she protested, her voice thick. ‘Please, I just want to be in my room, alone.’

Drake swallowed. ‘Okay. No problem.’

He watched her as she walked upstairs, taking care to hold part of her golden silk dress so she didn't trip.

The way she held herself. She usually had her shoulders thrown back for confidence, her head held high. But she was looking down and her shoulders were slumped, as if she carried a heavy burden.

Drake wished he could carry it for her.

******************

He retired to his bedroom after that. He was in no mood for a fancy ball now, especially if Camille wasn't going to be there.

He roughly took off his tie and pulled off his cufflinks. He hated wearing a suit. Although he cleaned up well, he felt like an imposter whenever he dressed up. Like he was trying to be someone he wasn't.

He got changed into a white t-shirt and checked blue pyjama bottoms. Throwing himself down on his bed, he turned on the TV to watch the late night news, but he wasn't really paying attention to it.

Drake couldn't stop thinking about Camille.

She was in his head all the time. First thing when he woke up, last thing at night. It had been gradual but now, Drake couldn't go about his life without managing to somehow think about her and to be honest, he was getting sick of himself.

It was a dumpster fire of a situation that Drake should have avoided but Camille kept pulling him back in.

His phone buzzed with a notification.

Drake's finger slid across the screen and his heart skipped when he saw that Camille had texted him.

Camille: I’m sorry for being off with you. Didn't mean it. X

Drake was replying back instantly. He didn't even bother to wait a few minutes to look cool.

Drake Walker was a lot of things but ‘cool’ wasn't one of ‘em.

Drake: Hey, it's cool. Are you okay? X

She read his message instantly. The blue dots under his text started bubbling. Clearly, Camille wasn't cool either.

Camille: Not really. I feel sad and overwhelmed. I wasn't in the mood tonight. Did you have a nice time? X

Drake thought about his response. He wanted her to be honest with him, feel like she could tell him anything. But he didn't want to push it in case she closed up.

Drake: Wanna talk about it? I get feeling overwhelmed, Cordonia does that to you! It was a ball, do I ever have nice times at balls? X

He was trying to keep this light. Make her smile.

Camille: It's a lot. Everything is too much right now. Haha good point, at least you get whiskey from the bar! X

Drake smiled. He started typing again, feeling a thrill at her name on his phone.

Drake: Is the competition getting you down? If it helps, you're doing great. That's true, whiskey at these balls certainly helps x

Camille read his message.

Two minutes and no response.

Fuck. He'd pushed her. Fuck.

************

She replied a few minutes later with an essay.

That was all Drake could describe it as. An essay but it was an essay worth reading.

Camille: I don't want to be in this competition anymore. At first, I thought it would be an experience. I didn't think I'd be in the running to win it but now Liam keeps telling me that I'm his favourite amongst the suitors. He is so kind and sweet but I just don't feel that way about him. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't want to lead him on either.

I'm at these balls and all I want to do is sit with you. Drink whiskey, talk, make fun of the nobles. The more I get to know you, the more I feel myself pulling away from Liam and just gravitating towards you. I know we've kissed a few times and I have no idea what's going on there but I'm so confused. Being inside my own head is fucking exhausting. You usually help calm me down, make me see the bigger picture but now you're in my head all the time and I can't see anything clearly. Sorry this is massive vent and I don't want to make you feel bad. Sorry x

Drake stared at her text, his heart pounding.

He was in her head all the time? Like, how SHE was in his head all the time?

And she wanted to hang out with him rather than Liam?

And she didn't want to be in the competition anymore?!

Drake rubbed his eyes fiercely and focused on the screen. He needed to talk to her.

Not by text. No, this was better done in person.

Drake: I’m coming to your room x

Two minutes passed. She hadn't read it.

Drake: Camille? You okay? X

She still hadn't read it.

*************

Drake was at her door in five minutes. He needed to see her. He needed to talk to her, calm her down, make sense of this situation.

He knocked on the door. ‘Camille?’

‘Yes?’

Her voice was very small.

‘It’s me, open up.’

The door opened slowly. Camille looked up at him, anxiety clear on her face. ‘Hey..’ she said softly.

Drake reached out and gently took her hand. ‘Can we talk?’

Camille nodded mutely and led him inside her room. The TV was on, showing a vintage episode of Sex and the City. The bedsheets were rumpled and a cup of peppermint tea stood on the bedside table.

‘Girly night in?’ Drake joked.

Camille wrapped her arms around herself and perched on the edge of the bed. She was wearing a silk pink striped pyjama top with matching shorts. Drake thought she looked incredibly cute.

‘So you texted me and I texted back but you didn't reply..’ Drake said.

Camille turned red. ‘Umm.. after I texted you, I may have locked my phone in the drawer. It was risky.’

Drake let out a laugh. ‘Was it a risky text?’

Camille’s eyes widened. ‘Yes!’ she protested. ‘I told you how I was feeling and instantly felt embarrassed! That's why I locked my phone away, I didn't want to see your response!’

Drake leaned against her dresser and crossed his arms, looking at her in amusement. ‘You’re cute when you flounder,’ he said, giving her a smirk.

Camille pressed her hands against her eyes and let out a groan. ‘Shurrup, Walker.’

Drake chuckled. He padded across the floor until he was standing in front of her. Gently, he took her hands off her eyes, forcing her to look up at him.

‘Camille,’ he said, his voice low. ‘We need to talk about this.’

Camille looked into his eyes. Hers were filling with tears. ‘It’s getting too hard..’ she croaked.

‘I know,’ Drake murmured. ‘Look, I won't lie. Knowing you think about me.. hell, I think about you all the time too.’

Camille’s eyes widened. ‘You do?’

Drake swallowed. God, he hated talking about feelings. But for some reason, Camille made him more open. Maybe it was her nature, her warmth that made him want to tell her every little thing.

Or maybe it was because she was different to everyone else and quite frankly, she was the only person that mattered.

‘I think about you all the time,’ Drake admitted. ‘I’ve tried to stay away, keep you at arms length but I think after kissing you a couple of times that ain't gonna happen.’

Camille blushed. ‘I think that ship has sailed,’ she agreed, giving him a small smile.

Drake's finger grazed her jaw line. She closed her eyes, focusing on his touch.

‘If you left this competition…’ Drake said hesitantly, ‘what would you do?’

Camille opened her eyes. ‘I.. I guess go back to New York.’

‘Is that what you want?’

‘No.’

She was quick to answer.

Drake cleared his throat, keeping his eyes fixed on hers. ‘So, hypothetically, you leave the competition but you don't go back to New York. What do you do?’

Camille bit her lip. ‘I.. Look, Drake, what do you want me to say? That I will leave the competition for you? Because that's what I want. I want you. I want to be with YOU.’

Drake let out a shaky breath. He looked away, knowing that she had a fire in her eyes now.

‘If we could be together without hurting Liam..’ he muttered.

‘Which we will,’ Camille said bluntly. ‘And that is why I'm feeling overwhelmed, Drake. I feel guilty all the time. I have feelings for you, his best friend. He might propose to me and I have feelings for his BEST FRIEND. How fucked up is that?’

Drake swallowed. ‘Yeah.. it's fucked up.’

Camille stepped away from him and dragged her fingers through her hair. She flopped down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. ‘We’re stuck in this situation and I don't know how to fix it.’

Drake studied her. Without a word, he moved to the bed and lay down beside her.

‘C’mere,’ he murmured, holding his arm up so Camille could scoot in close to him.

She rolled into him, resting her head on his chest. Drake wrapped his arm around her and held her tightly.

‘This is all we can have,’ he said, looking up at the ceiling. ‘I can't hurt Liam. But I can't say that watching you with him doesn't kill me. But I'm not gonna say anything to him, Camille. He's been loyal to me since we were kids, he's always had my back.’

Camille sniffled. Drake leaned down to press a kiss on top of her head. ‘If I could take you out this competition without any consequences, I would. But it would hurt Liam and your reputation would be dragged through the mud. Leaving a prince just to be with a commoner. To be with me. They would rip you apart.’

Camille clenched his t-shirt in her fist. ‘I don't care.’

Drake held her tighter. ‘I do.’

Camille kept hold of him, not wanting to let him go. He smelled like leather and sandalwood. He was safe.

‘Can you stay here tonight?’ she asked. ‘I don't want to be alone. Not now.’

‘Sure thing.’

A moment of comfortable silence passed until Drake broke it.

‘There’s no such thing as a risky text to me, by the way.’

Camille sat up and looked down at him. ‘Really?’

Drake nodded.

‘I’m never gonna judge you, Camille. You can tell me anything. I'm not going anywhere.’

[lost-amongst-the-stars]

Therapy recap

TW: csa

I started off by updating C about the situation with Y. That her and her siblings are all safe and away from that man. And charges are being brought against him. And Y is doing about as well as possible given the circumstances.

Then I talked about telling K about all of it on Thursday. Her going on about how she's the worst for having problems of her own and whatnot. And how we were hurt and angry bc while K showed a lot of concern over how this was affecting S, she didn't so much as look in my direction. C asked if K knows about my history with csa and I explained that I've been pondering that over the weekend. She doesn't know much, but I'm pretty sure she knows some. But even if she doesn't, she knows how deeply I care about Y and how involved I've been in her life. And even if she doesn't know about the childhood stuff, we were friends when the adult rapes happened. So it's pretty insulting that she only cared about how this affected S.

I talked about how it felt like we reached a breaking point with this and came to the decision that we're done trying so hard with her. We'll speak when spoken to and we won't be cruel, but we're not going to keep putting in all the effort to show her we care when she makes it so obvious that her care lies solely with S.

C asked about our history with K. I talked about how once upon a time, K and I had what was likely the strongest connection in our triangle. But then I took time off from school due to mental health and she and S grew closer. So when S and I started dating, she seemed to develop resentment towards me. And things have never really been the same.

But yeah, C agrees that until K is willing to work on her own mental health, we need to protect ourselves. And for now at least, that means not trying so hard. While talking about how it feels to watch her refuse to address her mental health, I described it as throwing a life preserver out to someone flailing in the water and watching it sit right beside them while they don't grab on. C expanded the metaphor and said it's like I've been treading water next to her while holding the life preserver and trying to get her to grab on. But I can only tread water for so long and I have to keep myself from drowning too.

We also talked about mother's day and the amorphous sadness that hung over us yesterday. The inescapability of the holiday. But it was a huge improvement from last year when we were dealing with a lot of internal conflict regarding being NC. So progress.

[aidanchaser]

The Eyes are the Window to the Soul

Saw folks (rightfully) gushing about Balistair’s big sad eyes and i want to add a thing that I noticed on watch 1 but I think I understand better on watch 2

you probably noticed the characters have different shaped eye lights! Which is neat! I thought it might be character design thing and that’s fun but actually the eyelight changes in some characters which i thought was intriguing so i set about making sense of it

Balistair is easiest to see! We know he’s got those lovely square eye lights but they’re not always square! In the opening with him and Ambrosius, he actually has diamond shaped eyelights! He and Ambrosius alike have matching diamond twinkles. His eye light changes to square after the queen’s death. Why?

Well, the institute’s emblem is also a diamond! And this is obvious in the director’s design:

she’s got diamonds in her eyes and diamonds down her dress and you can glimpse that institute logo in the upper right corner - diamond!

Bal’s eyes change after his faith in the institute breaks - not fully; still a 4-sided shape, but turned, a square, a new perspective

Which makes the squire’s eyes fascinating! Because they’re a pentagon! Still sort of part of the institution, but also part of Balistair! He’s caught between the two.

And Ambrosius holds his diamond shape. His faith in the institute does not waver. Not until Bal confronts him with the evidence that of course gets destroyed but after that moment Ambrosius’ eyes are lit with a triangle. He’s begun to doubt.

Nimona’s eyes are like a diamond, but they’re twisted, much more fluid on the edges. It matches the shape of her magic’s sparkles. She’s part of the natural world, the world outside the wall. She’s not rigid like the institute; she is fluid.

And what’s interesting is that Gloreth’s eyes actually match Nimona’s when they meet! They have the magical eye lights. The villagers have circles. There’s no institute here -- until after the big reveal as the village burns. Suddenly Gloreth’s eyes are diamonds. She has hardened into the institution -- sorry, the institute.

Anyway I just thought this was a neat bit of character design and storytelling and I loved it like i did everything else in this movie