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bambi-kinos · 1 year ago

Note

I just came across your analysis of However Absurd and thought it was lovely. I'm curious, as someone who thinks John and Paul had some kind of romantic or sexual relationship, what is your take on The Lovers That Never Were? Is he using the word "lovers" to mean "partners"? I have always interpreted it to mean that Paul knows there was something there but it never happened. Every time I start to be convinced that they were together in some way I think of this song and the devastating way Paul sings it in the demo and the heartbreaking fact that he still felt it that intensely 13 years after John's death.

Oh wow thank you! The server had a lot of fun discussing that, if it's good it's because I had a little help from my friends heheh (─‿‿─) ♡

I ended up writing a massive novel in response to all this so I hope you enjoy reading it heheh. For server members, I've pulled some quotes from my previous Discord essays on this topic so you'll see some stuff that you've read.

tl;dr - I don't think "The Lovers That Never Were" contradicts the secret relationship theory at all! I think it compliments it very well actually.

In order to get into All That, I will outline how I perceive what their relationship was built on and how they reacted to it. I should note that I don't consider this definitive. It's important to remember that we all have unique interpretations of John and Paul because of our experiences and our personal POVs. There is no single answer until Paul decides to tell us what happened and/or Sean publishes John's diaries (written and audio). Until that happens, we are all forced to look at the same material and draw our own conclusions which will naturally be shaped through our personal perceptions. Some of us are older and are much closer to the original culture that John and Paul were raised in; some of us are younger and grew up in a much more LGBT+ positive environment. This naturally has an impact on how we interpret John and Paul's relationship.

I say this because I know my POV on John and Paul is a bit different from everyone else's. I'm a historian by training but part of being a historian is the understanding that you will never fully understand the events as they happened because your personal viewpoint and inherent bias is simply too strong. But that's okay because this is a part of humanity that we all share, yeah? With that understanding LET'S GO!

Paul My view on Paul is that he's always understood that he's different from other men. I doubt he could put a name to it until very recently. Paul has synesthesia, he's bisexual, he connects to music in a savant-like way, he's neurodivergent which is why he takes criticism so hard, and all of that would still be true even if he didn't have left over emotional issues from his mother dying the way she did + his fraught relationship with his father.

Keep in mind that circumstantial evidence points to the idea that Paul orchestrated the meeting at the fête! He realized he had a mutual friend with John in Ivan (who is to say that he did not meet Ivan at a QM performance and had that mental realization there?) He went through Hot Girl Summer before and after the fête, wanting to be fucking fit so that he wasn't embarrassed to meet John! I did the same thing when I had a crush as a teenager!

So with all that in mind, imagine this: you're Paul McCartney. You met John Lennon barely a year after Mary died. You turned 15 on June 18th, 1957 and met John at the fête on July 6, 1957. At some undetermined point before this garden party you saw a beautiful boy on the bus and began riding it obsessively hoping the Teddie boy would get on it. You followed him to the chippie and stood in line behind him…allegedly because you thought "oh wow he looks so cool." Marky Mark thinks (and I agree) that you may have even followed John to at least one Quarry Man show before the fête. Is this 'normal' behavior? Or is this the unhinged behavior of a teenager with a massive crush? The kind that comes about when you see a cute boy with red hair, and red is the color you associate with happiness, and then you find out that he plays guitar just like you and you follow him around until you see one of his performances and he's so good he knocks you back and then someone says "hi Paul, I didn't know you liked music!" behind you. And you realize that it's your friend and that you can meet the boy you have a crush on through this friend. You just need to lose weight and grow your hair out first.

When did Paul first see John, anyway? Before he turned 15 I'd wager.

I submit the idea that Paul has been in love John Lennon for his entire life. It will be 67 years of love when this July 6th rolls around. John was making a name for himself, he was known around town as "that Lennon." A minor celebrity like we’ve all had in our hometowns. Paul loved music. Before the internet you would go to the town square to hear a band.

Paul did that. Saw John. Pursued him with intent. When John went to Gambier Terrace to be with Stuart, Paul made a nuisance of himself showing up at their parties and playing the proto-version of "Michelle" in front of the girls…and John.

I love you, I love you, I love you That's all I want to say Until I find a way I will say the only words I know that You'll understand

I don't think that a 15 year old Paul McCartney would explicitly label his feelings for John as 'love' or a 'crush' but I do think that's what happened. When you're a teenager, a crush can express itself in many different ways. I used to have a big crush on a girl who was a volleyball player at my junior high school…that expressed itself as intense admiration. I even told one of my friends that I thought she was 'really cool.' It wasn't until later that I realized that I had a crush on her.

But I think that Paul has always known that he's 'different' and that he wasn't like other boys while growing up. Part of his touchiness about his looks comes from being bullied but I also think that he's a lot more self aware than he pretends to be. I think he realized relatively fast how he felt about John (maybe once John picked up with Stuart and Cynthia at art college.) I think he carried that with him for years hence his anguished response to being jilted in Hamburg and how furious he was at John for running off to Spain with Brian. He didn't realize it immediately but once it sticks to you then it fucking sticks. I think that Paul has done a lot internal wrestling with being a bisexual man and what that means for him and that he has been wrestling with it for decades. I think he was fully in the grip of that wrestling as he and John's friendship began growing and Paul realized what was happening to him. He does enjoy women but I also think that he felt it was necessary to pursue them heavily as a young man to camouflage himself.

I don't think a day has gone by since 1957 where Paul has not known what he was. What exactly that means for him…is up for interpretation. That's where the gray area is. But IMO Paul has almost always known that he's sexually attracted to other men and that John woke this in him. The big question for Paul is what he should do about it.

John There's been a lot written about John and his sexuality that I won't rehash here but truthfully I think John was in a similar place to Paul in knowing that he's always had a sexual preference for other men. John was a lot less comfortable about it though. Having unprotected sex with his girlfriends was, IMO, John trying to subconsciously engineer a situation that would "fix" him via an accidental pregnancy necessitating a marriage.

Of course that didn't do anything because it never does. John still felt chemistry with Paul when they met at the fête, with that quote about them "circling each other like cats." IMO John felt something immediately -- it's not entirely clear what -- though I don't think it "love at first sight" like with Paul. IMO their friendship, while still rooted in that chemistry, developed very naturally for John and he got to enjoy a platonic relationship with Paul before he put it all together. I say this because John saw Paul as a kid, not a peer, and that this endured for their lives in Liverpool pre-Hamburg. I struggle to imagine John or Paul deliberately inciting sexual or romantic contact during that time period aside from the group wank sessions (which were really trolling sessions from John.) Like, when Julia died, John went out and sought peers at art college like Cynthia and Stuart, other students his age. John and Paul bonded over losing their mothers and Paul has that quote about pranking people with the "oh yeah…my mum's dead thanks <3" bit but it also seems like John didn't want to be around that all the time. He lost his Uncle George and then his mother, he was starting to think that he was a death-curse on men in his family and that he brought suffering with him. He wanted to be away from that so he took a vacation from music to get a chance of scenery. Which meant putting Paul in a place of competition with Stuart and Cyn but I don't think John was thinking of that initially (though he exploited the situation later.)

Then Hamburg happens and they run wild. I have an entire meta about this that you can read here but I genuinely think John did not see Paul as a full fledged adult and potential sexual partner until they were in Hamburg in the red light district. I think that something happened there that we don't know about, that it's tied up in Stuart deciding to be with Astrid, John jilting Paul, Paul saying "fuck you I'm done" and getting a job at the coil winding factory in Liverpool after being deported, John tracking Paul down and spending weeks (probably) groveling and then giving Paul an ultimatum to come back to the Beatles. All of that screams 'I just realized I'm in love with my best friend and I'm freaking the fuck out' to me lmao.

John and Paul Of course something else changed after that too and John and Paul ended up becoming so close that even the Liverpool squares around them noticed. I think that whatever was going in their relationship, it started here. In the place where John and Paul were equally distraught with each other, the future of the band was uncertain, and Paul wanted a sign of commitment from John so that he didn't feel like he wasted years of his life. And of course John always felt compelled to be the man Paul wanted him to be so he treated Paul to a vacation in Paris which was so life affirming for them that it stayed with them for the rest of their lives. IMO the Paris vacation was explicitly romantic for them.

I think a switch flipped in 1961 and they went from "messing around" to "there's something there." It erupted in Paris and they showed each other more understanding and care then they expected from each other. John did sexy pin up poses for Paul in a bed that they shared; John remembers how the French held each other in their arms and just kissed each other, lovingly; Paul felt that he discovered the answer and that all those big name philosophers had nothing on the self realization he came to inside himself. Paul even took a photo of John that high lighted his package! Thanks to @louiselux for pointing this one out:

The thing was all the kissing and the holding that was going on in Paris. And it was so romantic, just to be there and see them, even though I was twenty-one and sort of not romantic. But I really loved it, the way the people would just stand under a tree kissing; and they weren’t mauling at each other, they were just kissing. — John Lennon, Playboy interview 1980

“We were like Paris existentialists. Jean-Paul Sartre had nothing on us. Sod ‘em all - I could write a novel… It was all inside me. I could do anything now.”

Paul McCartney, Anthology

Something happened in Paris and it wasn't just them getting haircuts and John buying Paul milkshakes. There was commitment there. And then the spell comes over them again when they return in January 1964:

The first night, John and Paul stayed in their suite, listening to records and reading fan mail. George, who had been signed for 100 pounds a day by the Daily Express to write of his experiences in Paris, went to a nightclub in the Place Pigalle.

Back in the City of Light, John and Paul slept till three o'clock in the afternoon. That much everybody agreed on.

Quote by Vincent Mulchrone from Daily Mail: George Harrison was astir early, but John Lennon and Paul McCartney slumbered on until frantic photographers forced them at lens point into the Champs-Élysées.

Derek Taylor (a British journalist) wanted to know why the Beatles slept so much. "My office wants to know what they're doing in Paris, so they'd better be doing something."

Love Me Do by Michael Braun

But I know what you're thinking. "What the hell does this all have to do with these two songs?"

And my reply is to keep a few things in mind:

Paul takes criticism and slights incredibly hard, possibly overreacting in some places and letting them overwhelm him mentally.

He never got over Barcelona, he never stopped resenting Stuart and Brian, he never got over John pulling the rug out from under him regarding the order of their names in the song credits. He contemplated committing suicide by smothering himself while he was in Scotland recovering from John leaving him.

John Lennon had a baby with a woman in the middle of all this. Julian Lennon was born April 8, 1963, conceived in July 1962, less than a year after Paris.

However Absurd & The Lovers That Never Were I listened to "However Absurd" and "The Lovers That Never Were" in that order. My immediate reaction is that these are both the same kind of song: they are both expressing sadness and frustration with John. This is a common theme with Paul's post-1980 John songs. What I find interesting is that they depict different though related gripes regarding John. In "However Absurd" Paul is expressing his longing for a cottagecore fantasy romance with John and then expressing frustration at John mocking him for it:

Ears twitch, like a dog Breaking eggs in a dish Do not mock me when I say This is not a lie

But in "The Lovers That Never Were" Paul expresses a different gripe: frustration that John won't commit to him and "anticipating" the break up that he secretly knew was coming ever since 1963 when John abandoned him and his own son to play patty-cake with Brian in Spain:

I hang patiently on every word you send Will we ever be much more than just friends? As for you, you sit there playing this game You keep me waiting

When all of the clocks have run down All over the world We'll be the lovers that never were

For as long as the sun shines in somebody's eyes I believe in you baby, so don't tell me lies For as long as the trees throw down blossoms and leaves I know there will be a parade of unpainted dreams

And I know dear, how much it's going to hurt If you still refuse to get your hands dirty So you, you must tell me something… I love you Say goodbye or anything

All of the clocks have run down Time's at an end If we can't be lovers we'll never be friends

John's penchant for disregarding Paul's feelings and even weaponizing them against Paul; the dashing of Paul's cottagecore dreams that were made and solidified in Paris; the fact that John, no matter what his intentions, could not get his shit together and commit to Paul no matter what he may have felt. These two songs are not contradictory to one another. Paul's idea of "commitment" looks very much like what he had with Linda and John in 1967: sharing a home, sharing a bed, being together every day, preferably somewhere green and remote. Exclusivity. Remember that Paul deliberately sabotaged his relationship with Jane Asher by nailing a woman in their bed when Jane came home, knowing perfectly well that he was breaking their exclusivity agreement.

That IMO, is what makes someone a lover and not just a friend you have sex with and secretly pine for. No cheating, or at least your agreed version of it. No disrespecting the relationship. Continuously being together. What did John do instead of this?

I think that Paul started out his "relationship" with John carrying high hopes and then watched them crumble to dust, over and over, because John simply did not take him seriously. He got Cynthia pregnant, he ran around on Paul with Brian, he had the nerve to flip out on Jane Asher when Paul brought her around when he was the one who couldn't stay faithful to Cynthia.

My hot take is that these songs demonstrate that Paul simply could not imagine John ever truly committing to him and treating him as a true partner. The homophobia and yes ~society~ is in there too but Paul was happy to flout this when it came to just about anyone else, traipsing all over France with Fraser and Mal. The difference is that he flat out didn't trust John. Being jilted for Stuart in Hamburg loomed too big in his head. Cynthia and Julian loomed too big in his head. Brian and Barcelona, realizing that John would happily betray whatever agreements or understandings he had with Paul simply to screw Paul out of a deal, loomed too big in his head. I think in particular its Barcelona that made Paul think John didn't value any of their professed ideals. John broke Paul's heart years before Yoko came along.

He didn't trust John. Fatalism is easier than taking control of your own life sometimes, and in Paul's mind there was no reason to believe John was genuine. Like, Paul knew John very well! He had very good reason to think that John was simply not serious about him. And John, no matter what his intentions were, proved that correct over and over and over and over.

So ultimately, I think that's what these songs are about. The melodies don't necessarily reflect this when I listened to them but I think that "The Lovers That Never Were" in particular is juxtaposing bitter wink-and-nod lyrics with an oddly perky tune. It's Paul laughing at himself for ever thinking John was willing to commit. He's mocking himself because while he allowed himself to get swept up in the dream of a possible genuine relationship with John, he knew deep down that it would go the way it did. That John would find a reason to get tired of him and abandon him. And then when Yoko came along, that's exactly what John did. Paul fatalistically accepted that the time had come and John met Paul's low expectations of him.

The Weight I don't think John and Paul necessarily planned to have a secret relationship. It seems more like they bundled the sexual/romantic stuff into their "thing" where it was just part and parcel of who they were and what they did. "It's only gay if the balls touch" etc. At some point that changed but Paul became convinced early on that it wouldn't work out so he didn't acknowledge his own secret desires and dreams. There was no roadmap between him and John about where they were taking this exactly and how they were going to make it work. He had sex with John and even engaged with romantic actions with John, hoping against hope that something would change and he would be proven wrong, but then John would be careless and Paul would collapse into hurt.

And oh yeah: Paul never, ever discussed any of this with John Lennon. He never told John how hurt he was because he didn't want to put up with John's derision. He felt devalued and lost and in typical Paul fashion he chose to ignore this for years and never bring it up, forcing it to come out in bizarre nonsensical actions when he inevitably boiled over. Why would he choose to confront it? He made sure to set up several safety nets to catch him! Jane and the Ashers, striking out on his own with "The Family Way" score, rubbing John's face in his escapades with other males as a way to go 'see, I don't need you just like you don't need me. How about THAT?'

I don't think John ever intended to hurt Paul as badly as he did. He thought that if Paul was upset about something then he would know via their ~telepathic connection.~ I think that he deliberately overlooked warning signs because he felt intensely guilty about certain actions he took (God only knows which ones) and that he helped himself not see Paul's hurt. I do think if he had the slightest idea of what was going on in Paul's head then he would have changed tactics immediately out of fear of losing Paul forever. But at heart John was a coward and if he didn't want to see something was wrong then he wouldn't see it unless something forced his hand. Like say, having his former best friend/ex-lover look him in the eye and go "I can write new songs" and kill The Beatles in a court of law. (And of course once he realized what he had done, years after the fact, it was too little too late. He couldn't take it back. How do you make up for inflicting that much hurt on someone that you supposedly care for? This paralyzed John for years.)

This was obviously a huge mistake and I think it was one of the landmines that blew their relationship up. Paul allowed his distrust and bitterness to overwhelm him. He should have been honest with John about his feelings; maybe not immediately but when they were able to look back with some perspective. Paul should have realized that their relationship could take heat. He should have trusted John more and if he had then John could have risen to the occasion. Everything could have been different. No more "I believe in you baby, so don't tell me lies." No more "Do not mock me when I say/This is not a lie."

He even expresses this in a third song, one that IMO puts this entire thing into perspective and ties these three songs together with a neat bow. "This One":

youtube

Did I ever take you in my arms, look you in the eye Tell you that 'I do?' Did I ever open up my heart And let you look inside?…

Did I ever touch you on the cheek Say that you were mine, thank you for the smile? Did I ever knock upon your door Try to get inside?…

Please take note of the bolded "Tell you that 'I do'!" Paul's deepest regret with regards to John is not trusting him more. He wishes that he had opened up to John about his hurt and how he angry he was that John was devaluing their relationship. That he wanted to commit to John but that he was scared John wouldn't say 'I do' back.

From John's POV he's just being John; he's looking out for the band. God knows he tried to be what Paul needed him to be but he got mixed signals and inconsistent behavior and Paul's ice queen behavior frustrated him to no end. This resulted in an endless circle of "fuck you/no no no, fuck YOU/well fuck you then!/fuck you" that ended up killing what they had.

But John is guilty in this too. He never made himself accountable to Paul. He didn't explain his actions. He acted rashly and selfishly and then was shocked when it blew up in his face. He didn't consistently act like he loved Paul. He took Paul for granted and told himself that he was doing the right thing, because changing your behavior is very very hard. He didn't let Paul in when it mattered.

Did you ever take me in your arms Look me in the eye, tell me that 'you do?'

As Paul grew up and he started to come to grips with the "What happened" of it all, maybe he realized that he had procrastinated. That he put off what mattered most because he couldn't bear to make himself vulnerable as a young man. Maybe he was waiting for a perfect moment to open himself up to John knowing perfectly well it would never arrive, a common delaying tactic for insecure and avoidant people. Not admitting that the perfect moment would never come and that he had to extend trust to receive it in return.

If I never did it, I was only waiting For a better moment that didn't come There never could be a better moment Than this one, this one

I think he's still angry at John for multiple betrayals, slaps to the face, and devaluing the specialness of their relationship and their affection for each other. But I also think that Paul is angry at himself for not trusting John, for not working harder at their relationship. He also delivered multiple betrayals and slaps to the face to John, feeding John's insecurity and fears of abandonment. Making a mockery of their relationship and how special it was. Paul has been doing public penance for this ever since John died, which snapped everything into perspective and he finally realized the full scope of his own screw ups.

Because it took two to destroy a relationship this intense and this special. If Paul did not know that before...

Well. He does now.

#the beatles #mclennon #john lennon #paul mccartney #mclennon meta #my meta #mclennon server #this was a really fun ask anon thank you!

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holopossums · 1 year ago

Text

Breakfast with the Baron

Breakfast is always more enjoyable when you share it with someone. Today you shared one with a certain large, pink sheep man who stole your heart and has the ring to prove it.

Mood music for peak domestic romance

Figured I'd try my hand at writing a Gender Neutral X Reader/self-insert story to accompany the art! (First time ever, ended up being much longer than I thought because of course it is, this is me you're talking about. ~1500 words under the cut.)

WARNING: Story has mild, silly suggestiveness at some points. (It's very PG-13, but just in case loving and goofy descriptions of sheep men's bodies are not your cup of Dad Fuel.)

Enjoy!

Edit: Fic is now up on AO3, you can read it there too!

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Sunlight streamed through the window in your bedroom, its rays falling on your form, and you stirred from your dreamland. Too early. You shifted so that you were facing away from the blinding light. But it was too late, you were doomed to be awake now. Bleary-eyed, you scanned your room and noted that you were alone. Not a large pink sheep man in sight. But the delicious scents coming from beyond the room indicated he was home, and that was enough to make you rise from bed.

After going through your typical morning routine, you found him exactly where you thought he'd be. Baron Draxum considered himself king of the kitchen, both at work and home, and he was wholeheartedly committed to feeding you well. Early on in your relationship with him, you wondered if he was spoiling you with so much home cooking. In time, you understood that it was his way of caring for your well-being—a love language. Now he made roughly half of your meals and you did not complain.

It was the weekend, so Draxum had gone all out even though it was early. Both of your favorite breakfast foods were on the menu. It was no wonder that you cartoonishly floated into the kitchen by following the waft of tasty smells. In addition to the meal, coffee was already brewed. A steaming hot novelty coffee mug that read "DAD FUEL" sat on the counter while Draxum cooked. Judging by the droopy eyes and a croaky, mumbled “good morning” when you entered his domain, you were sure that he would be drinking most of the coffee pot whether or not you had any for yourself.

Before you sat down at the dining table, you peered out one of the nearby windows. It was a gorgeous sunny day in June, just before the sweltering heat hit hard. These cooler summer days were precious, so you had the urge to have breakfast outside in the garden.

While the old Yōkai had finally adjusted to life on the surface, he still wasn't particularly fond of bright sunlight, as he had lived underground for much of his life. You could already hear his complaints about your idea before you even started. Still, you two had been together long enough that you knew how to effectively persuade him.

Draxum was nearly finished cooking everything. He was working the stove and had his back turned. Even from behind, his unkempt appearance was attractive—nest hair stuck out in all directions, his robe rumpled, the way he tiredly hunched over his workspace. He was like this on weekends when he didn’t have to groom himself and rush off to work. While he cleaned up well, his natural state was just as stunning. You gingerly wrapped your arms around his waist from behind, nuzzled his back, and suggested your idea. Your face was buried in his back so you weren’t using puppy eyes, but you sure were using a puppy voice, a wholly unnecessary “pretty please with a cherry on top” kind of beg. His head tilted as he thought it over. A small smile graced his aging face when he looked over his shoulder. He agreed with a nod. Your loving expression worked like a charm.

Minutes later, the sleepy sheep shuffled behind you, breakfast in hand, to a big wooden picnic table that was partly in the shade of nearby trees. Your bountiful feast was spread out, more than enough for two. Books and other entertainment were also brought along, as you planned to camp out there for the rest of the morning.

With an old man grunt, Draxum plopped down in a white chair on the far side of the table, and you sat opposite him in a matching chair. You couldn’t help but smile at the ways he was handsomely growing older. You wanted to lightly tease him about sounding as old as he looks, but you bit your tongue. With his back toward the sun, it illuminated his form and made him look ethereal. Disrupting the tranquility seemed like a crime.

Draxum was one of those people who didn’t care about much of anything too early in the day. He wasn't much of a conversationalist either, at least until the coffee kicked in, so he did not chat with you at first. Seemingly stuck in a lingering daze, he wasn’t even swatting away the gnats circling him, but every so often one of his ears flicked on reflex when one got a little too close. Again, downright adorable, but you bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from making any comment that would change his awareness. It was a miracle that the man managed to make breakfast as good as he did considering his state. Maybe he put in more effort to be attentive earlier, and now that you were sitting down he was letting his mind wander.

Not wanting to disturb him, you eagerly dug into your food, trying to keep your sounds of pleasure at a minimum. No words were exchanged, but none were needed. The peaceful sounds of nature accompanied you as birds sang their hearts out, squirrels scurried up and down the trees beside the table, and bugs lazily buzzed above your heads.

Perhaps it was the warm gentle breeze or a subtle movement that did it. However it happened, when you looked up from your plate, something changed about him that your eyes fixated on while you mindlessly chewed. You weren't sure how much time had passed, but you snapped out of it when you finally heard his gentle baritone rumble, still a tad raspy from overnight disuse.

"What are you staring at, love?"

Carnelians glistened with curiosity when his eyes met yours. He sipped on his coffee and did not break eye contact, more alert than before. But the tone of his question was adorably dopey and sincere, so it seemed he was still not as aware of the change as you were.

The sheep was so groggy that he failed to notice that his robe had slipped from his left shoulder, revealing half of his ample, plush chest. A nipple and scars underneath his pecs invitingly poked through. Even though you were well-acquainted with his body, the accidental half-reveal somehow made it sexier. Fortunately, there was a table between you and him. If there wasn’t, you might have been tempted to sidle up to him and bury your face in his cotton candy pillows.

It was difficult to avert your gaze from such a magnificent sight, but thankfully something else caught your eye. The wedding ring on his finger sparkled when it caught a ray of sun. It was a pleasant reminder of the promise he made to you: I am yours and only yours.

Married life with Baron Draxum was interesting, to say the least. Though he was an aggravating man at times—his vices could be counted on more than one hand and his flaws on more than two—his love was strong and steadfast. Underneath all that pride and sass, Draxum was a soft man. He liked to challenge you—your mind, body, and soul—yet never made you feel like you weren’t enough for him. Whether in word or action, in his eyes there was no one on Earth as lovely and unique as you. He had quirky ways of showing it, but he always made it known in one way or another.

Despite this, he more than made up for any of your smaller grievances with endearing moments like these.

You took your time to swallow the food you were eating, set down your fork, and think of what to say. A coy smile inched its way across your face. You leaned back and waved your hand. "Oh, nothing. Keep eating."

The old sheep squinted at you. Whether or not he could sense your playful lie, he was still too out of it to probe further. He simply responded with a soft grunt into his coffee mug, set it down, and dug back into his food.

The cotton candy pillow continued to hang out all breakfast long. Either he did not notice at all, or he did and didn't bother to fix it. If the latter, who knew whether it was out of pure laziness or because he knew giving you an eyeful was a treat. Regardless, you were not eager to point it out and ruin the fun. It was hard to call it a wardrobe malfunction when the warrior's robe seemed to be functioning exactly as the universe intended in that little moment.

A sweet domestic life with Baron Draxum was never bland. Ordinary days and regular routines were marinated with the spice and zest of the love you shared. It was your secret hope that flame would never extinguish.

You had woken from your deep slumber from the night before. At least, you thought you had. But that morning felt so heavenly and blissful that you could never be completely sure it wasn't a dream.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #baron draxum #rottmnt draxum #rottmnt x reader #draxum x reader #holopossums #tw suggestive #although tbh feel free to insert other adult canons or OCs too idrc it's meant to be vague #i needed domestic Draxum content so i made it myself #you think i wouldn't go all out? it's like you don't even know me /j #drawing took forever i didn't even keep track. writing took less #my hyper detailed writing meets the challenge of not using identifying description of reader #this was not easy actually much respect to x reader writers #anyway happy pride 🌈

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wintfleur · 11 months ago

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⚘ ˖˙𓈒ִֶָ☾.˙ ᰋ ── WHERE’D ALL THE TIME GO?

aka ophelia’s timeline

━━━ ❛ it’s starting to fly

ᯓᡣ𐭩 EARLY LIFE & SCHOOLING !

april 11th, 2002: ophelia is born on a bright and sunny Thursday afternoon in Vernon, British Columbia.

may 9th, 2006: ophelia (4) takes her first ballet class

2008 - 2013: early childhood / elementary school

august 2010: ophelia (8) joined the soccer team and met her now best friend Amber Jameson; they have been inseparable since.

october 2013: ophelia (11) got an ankle injury during a soccer game and sadly had to quit the sport. Her love for ballet was stronger and she didn't want to risk not being able to dance again.

She had to stop dancing for the rest of the year so her ankle could heal, it was miserable for her.

2013 - 2016: start of her teenage years / middle school

march 2015: ophelia (12) joined the theater club and helped make the costumes for their play, in turn finding her love for fashion designing.

april 2016: ophelia (13) went to get her photos taken for her ballet portfolio and was approached by a teen modeling agency.

summer 2016: ophelia (14) went to south korea for a ballet summer intensive program.

She was housed by a sweet family, where she met one of her bestest friends seunghan and his younger brother park sunghoon who is her age. Seunghan is a fellow ballet dancer and went to the training camp with her.

Ophelia became very close with the family, only becoming closer with them as the years go by, she's an honorary park! Seunghan’s parents think of her as their own child and his little sister thinks of her as her big sis!

2016 - 2020: teen years / high school / start of her modeling career

december 2016: Ophelia (14) was on the cover of pointe magazine.

june 2017: ophelia (15) won first place in the Helsinki international ballet competition, in juniors for women.

august 2017: ophelia finished her first wedding dress that she made for her cousin's wedding.

may 2018: ophelia (16) won first place in the american ballet competition

july 2018: ophelia won first place in the varna international ballet competition

was invited to be on jimmy fallon after her win.

february 2019: ophelia (17) made her debut by walking the catwalk and attending the New York fashion week.

may 29th - june 2, 2019: ophelia walked and attended the miami fashion week

september 2019: ophelia walked and attended the paris fashion week

october 9th 2019: the creation of ophelia's youtube channel

Ophelia created her youtube channel so she could have another way to communicate and become closer with her fans.

She mainly posted vlogs of her days as a model and a ballet dancer, and her just traveling and doing random activities with her friends.

december 2019: ophelia walked and attended the NYFW: December pre-fall and fall-winter, fashion week.

february 2020: ophelia walked and attended london's fashion week, fall-winter.

Ophelia meets Ryan James, a fellow model, they exchanged numbers and Ophelia then got in a relationship with him in may.

June 2020: Ophelia (18) graduated highschool with honors.

july 2020: ophelia moved into her apartment/loft in manhattan, New York. With her best friend seunghan.

Throughout 2016 - 2020 ophelia modeled for many different high end brands, her favorites being Dior, Dolce and Gabbana, and GQ.

She was given the nickname “the next model it girl” for her sudden dominating presence in the modeling world.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 JUILLIARD & JACK !

september 2020: ophelia (18) starts her first year at juilliard

february 23 - march 1st 2020: ophelia walked and attended milan’s fashion week

march 2 - 9th 2020: ophelia walked and attend paris fashion week

Throughout the rest of the year ophelia really focused on her ballet career, putting modeling to the side, and focusing on her studies.

march 2021: ophelia (19) won the Youth America Grand Prix (YAGP)

may 2021: ophelia won first place in the american ballet competition

july 2021: ophelia won first place in the varna international ballet competition

for the rest of the year, Ophelia modeled for many different brands, but she really just focused on her ballet career and getting more known in the fashion design world.

2022 : breakup era

april 11th 2022: Ophelia (20) broke up with Ryan after finding out he has been cheating on her for many months.

april, may, june, july 2022: ophelia took a break from anything that evolved with modeling during those months, trying to heal from her breakup. Throwing herself into training, practices, and her studies.

august 2022: ophelia modeled for celine as her comeback into modeling

was invited back on the jimmy fallon show where they talked about what she's been up to, the celine shoot, and her comeback to modeling

october 6-9th 2022: ophelia walked and attended los angeles fashion week

november 2022: ophelia was interviewed by WIRED where she talked about ballet and modeling and her love for fashion design

2023: meeting jack

march 3rd 2023: curtis gets traded to the new jersey devils

march 28th 2023: ophelia and Jack meet for the first time at a club and share a kiss.

april 18th 2023: ophelia joins curtis out at a bar to meet some of his teammates, and she sees jack for the first time since the club.

they keep what happened at the bar to themselves (besides Jack freaking out about it to Luke), and pretend to just meet each other for the first time.

april 25th 2023: ophelia and jack run into each other at a bar, things escalate and jack ends up bringing her back to his place where they hook up for the first time.

the next morning they talk about what happened, and how they need to keep what happened between them a secret. They want to keep seeing each other, so they decide to become friends with benefits.

july 2023: ophelia models for calvin klein

july 17th 2023: jack confesses his feelings to ophelia after 3 months of being friends with benefits.

Ophelia didn't take it well and left his apartment in haste (girly was afraid of her feelings and commitment) and they didn't talk for two weeks.

july 31st 2023: ophelia goes to jack’s apartment where she apologizes and asks him on a date.

august 1st 2023: jack and ophelia have there first date and officially start dating (secretly)

november 6th 2023: curtis holds a dinner at his home for his teammates, curtis finds jack and ophelia kissing in the garage and did not take it well.

curtis gives her an ultimatum ‘him or me’ in a moment of anger and that leads to ophelia not talking to either of them for a week, locking herself in her apartment.

november 14th 2023: curtis comes to see her early in the day to apologize for his reaction and what he said, later in the day jack comes to see her and they have a sweet moment, happy that everything is now okay between them.

january 12th 2024: ophelia and jack said i love you for the first time

january 24-28 2024: ophelia walked and attended miami fashion week

february 9-14th 2024: ophelia attended new york fashion week fall-winter

february 16th 2024: ophelia and jack's relationship is exposed to the media when videos and pictures of them at the njd’s family skate go viral.

february 26th - march 5th 2024: ophelia walked and attended paris fashion week

may 2024: ophelia did the 73 questions with vogue

june 2024: ophelia did the “10 things I can't live without’ with GQ

may 6th 2024: ophelia (22) attended the met gala for the first time

ophelia did a get ready with me / last looks with vogue for the met

june 2024: ophelia did diary of a model with vogue

july 2024: ophelia and jack do a couple quiz with GQ

may 2025: ophelia (23) graduates at juilliard

ᯓᡣ𐭩 WHAT'S TO COME !

aka phia and jacks future

. . . to be added

ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓇oro's note. I didn’t add every detail about her modeling and dance career in the ‘julliard and jack’ section, it would have taken forever for me to do that 😭 I will update the timeline as time goes! I hope this helps give you a better understanding about the AU >.<

au masterlist

˖ ་ feel free to send in any thoughts/requests you have !! And please let me know if you want to be added to the taglist mwah

˖ ་ taglist : @yoontwin @toasttt11 @winterbarnesblog @iceflwers @cixrosie @bunbunbl0gs

#💄ꞌꞋ ࣪ 𝓪 𝓷ight 𝓽o 𝓻emember 𐙚 . ꒱#jack hughes #nhl imagine #nhl x oc #new jersey devils #jack hughes x oc #jack hughes au #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes fluff #nhl au #hockey imagine

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croszukis · 13 days ago

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discussing Nick's Lady Byng votes — The Basu & Godin Notebook Awards Season (June 13, 2025)

full transcript below:

AB: What's notable about Nick is, and this has been the case for a long time, going back to his junior days when he was heavily targeted. In Owen Sound, in Guelph, he had a target on his back at all times. Every team that he played against knew that if you can get him off his game, your chances of winning increase.

The man does not have a retaliatory bone in his body. Like, he does not... the notion of retaliating does not exist in his brain. He knows that's wasted energy, he knows that doesn't help you win. He knows it serves no purpose. That you're in all likelihood to, and everyone actually does know this but they're not able to control the impulse, but that you're more likely to get called on the retaliation than the actual initial foul.

This has always been true in hockey, everyone's always said it forever. But in the moment it's hard to think that way. Nick Suzuki has always thought that way. He is the king of turning the other cheek and not letting any of that stuff distract him. So that's another element of his calm demeanor, that you were referring to, that shows itself and would apply to the Lady Byng in the sense that if you give Suzuki a whack you're not likely to get a whack back.

[...]

MAG: But what's interesting is that Suzuki was the captain... when I spoke to the guys in the room about the way that his leadership expressed itself, especially on the ice, there's a lot of a calming effect when guys get carried away.

Like the way he.. his relationship with the officials is where I guess he gets some of those Lady Byng points at least in the eyes of his own teammates. Because we saw this year, the Canadiens as a team were complaining a lot towards the officials. A lot. I think too much for my taste.

AB: Yeah the coach did a fair bit.

MAG: He did. But through all that, Nick Suzuki was a guy who would very rarely carry on about that and would be the one maybe to calm things down and say okay let's move on, let's turn the page, refocus and we accept what's going on and we return to battle.

#nick suzuki #media quotes #this is SOOO fic fodder you dont understand #the control #the calm #oh captain!!#whats boring to some is rich rich tapestry to another fujo

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free-queer-books · 16 days ago

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Books by Shari Sakurai

Shari Sakurai is offering free M/M books on Amazon on a rolling basis through Pride!

Perfect World series - superhero/supervillain

June 9-13: Perfect World - book 1

June 23-27: Adam - prequel

Demon's Blood Universe - vampires

June 16-20: Demon's Blood

Covers and blurbs are below the read-more.

The current free book is Perfect World: https://www.amazon.com/Perfect-World-Shari-Sakurai-ebook/dp/B00LXPO5WA

It is the year 2115 and the world is very different. With climate changes, natural disasters and war shaping the landscape, England has become a nation made up of several super cities and wasteland in between. Eric Rawlins is a genetically engineered superhero created by the London Security Agency (L.S.A) to defend and protect the city against both national and international threats. With his superior abilities, celebrity status and beautiful girlfriend, Eric appears to have the perfect life. However, it is an illusion created by the L.S.A in order to control him. Eric's nemesis is the charismatic Adam Larimore. The only son of billionaire business tycoon Victor Larimore, Adam is gifted with a genius level IQ as well as the same longevity as Eric. When the actions of the L.S.A throw the two of them together Eric finds himself questioning everything that he has ever known as well as discovering the true course of events that led to Adam turning to a life of crime. As they become closer Eric realises that the L.S.A may be the real threat to London. But can he trust Adam or is he part of Adam’s plan for revenge against those who have wronged him?

Immortal blood is precious and Kokawa Taku’s makes him especially unique. After vampire hunters force them to flee Tokyo, Taku and his lover, Thane, try to make a new life for themselves in England. But three months later Thane is still tormented by nightmares of the fire that almost cost them their lives. This leads to carelessness and the discovery of one of his victims. When faced with threats from all sides Taku tries his best to protect them although his actions are met with disapproval and anger from Thane. Unknown to his lover, Taku is also struggling to keep hidden the truth of what really happened three months ago. However, it is only a matter of time before Taku’s past and bloodline catches up with him.

Adam - a companion novel to the Perfect World series Adam Larimore is on a mission of self-destruct. After learning that he was genetically engineered for the sole purpose of inheriting his father’s empire, Adam has been determined to ruin his father’s life and in the process his own. When Ivan Williams, the man soon to become the Head of the London Security Agency (L.S.A), approaches Adam with the offer of a business partnership, Adam discovers the appalling truth behind the technological and genetic advancements that have come to shape England. His relationship with his father is at breaking point and when events take a devastating turn, Adam finds himself pushed further than perhaps he wanted to go.

#free books #queer books #lgbtq books #m/m books #shari sakurai

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laufire · 4 months ago

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Yesterday I finally watched La virgen roja ("the red virgin"), a Spanish film based on the story of Aurora and Hildegart Rodríguez Carballeira, a mother-daughter duo who lived in the early 20th century, specifically set during the time of the Second Republic.

I have mixed feelings about this film. On the one hand, I think it is a good film. Stunning visuals, compelling acting, and a good soundtrack that all together immerse you in its period, which is what I ask of historical fiction. But as historical fiction, its adherence to facts is something that merits its own scrutiny, separatedly, or maybe in addition, its artistic value (something I do not dispute).

It focuses on a harrowing and rarely discussed event; despite generally being interested in this period and it hitting, frankly, an eerily accurate interesction of my interests, I only found out about it on January of last year. The film reignited my interest, and I'm sure it's awakened many others', which is a huge point in its favour. But it's also made me think about how women's narratives are told, the shape they form, and why that is; something I think about a lot, regardless, but of which this particular film has become a good case of study.

To be as brief as possible: Aurora raised Hildegart on her own, conceiving her with eugenist goals in mind, desiring to shape "the first free woman" who would ~change the world and liberate us. She raised her by strict rules, and the result was a prodigy. Hildegart had a law degree at 17, when she started another few (philology and languages, medicine). She published sixteen monographs and over 150 articles on politics, sexology, and other matters. She participated in politics, joining leftist parties and advocating for women's liberation. She spoke multiple languages and wrote and established professional relationships with famous authors of the time, such as H.G. Wells or Havelock Ellis.

On June 9th, 1933, at the age of 18, Hildegart was murdered by her mother while she slept.

The facts as we know it paint a picture of a rapidly deteriorating relationship. Aurora was extremely controlling, and as she grew into adulthood, Hildegart chaffed more and more against it. Things came to a head when H.G. Wells invited Hildegart to come with him to England, and not Aurora, something that would let her step free from her mother's shadow in a definite way, and that increased Aurora's rapidly growing paranoia about people wanting to steal her daughter. As well as, possibly, her disappointed in Hildegart herself: she apparently described her as a "failed project" and, as an sculpture who sees an "imperfection" in their work, tore it down.

The movie, rather than in Hildegart's professional ambitions, or in an intrinsic desire for freedom after a lifetime of such strict control, put much more focus on a romance.

The real facts on this seem dubious at best. There has never been a definite confirmation of its status. Aurora seemingly denied it on the trial and refused to discuss it further; the man himself, a lawyer and leftist politician called Abel Velilla, denied it on an article shortly after Hildegart's death. Given Aurora's... everything, and that Velilla was 13 years older than Hildegart, I don't consider those denials the most trustworthy. And as a narrative, it makes sense. It makes sense that someone like Aurora would consider this one more failure and betrayal on Hildegart's part. It makes sense that Hildegart, 18yo, saw in this man another avenue for freedom.

When I say "it makes sense", I mean that it's a familiar story. A story we've all been familiarised with, have expectations about, and thus, that it makes sense to pull on this thread for a film, a structured, fictionalised story.

But I find it a good example of how restricted women's narratives often are. How creatives turn to the familiar, the romance, man and woman, to tell their story. How it romanticises this dynamic (painting them more like peers than a teenager and the 30yo man they were in reality) to portray a classic tale of young love versus jealous and controlling mother. How it blurrs the line of Hildegart's possible infatuation with Abel being a manifestation of her desires to escape her home or the cause of that desire existing at all.

How a story about a woman that removed, or even minimised, the romantical aspect, or treated it more cynically, might have struggled more to find its audience, or even to built up its own narrative, by rebuffing more familiar structures.

Another nitpick I have, less important to me than the above, but plenty relevant in terms of historical fiction trends IMO, is the choice of actresses to portray Aurora and Hildegart. They're good actress and do a good job, to be clear. But boy, they look NOTHING like their real-life counterparts. They're not even prettified-within-characterisation versions, women who look similar but fit beauty standards (and specifically Hollywood beauty standards) much better. They're straight up nothing alike. And with Aurora, I can't help but think this would've been a double-edged sword (I can just imagine what a film would've done with an ugly woman in this role), but with Hildegart, the choice of going with a waif-like actress that in no way looks like the photographs we have of a chubby, baby-faced Aurora seems very, very pointed to me.

#talking to the void #my thoughts #patriotic tag #hildegart rodríguez carballeira #la virgen roja #the red virgin #historical fiction

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seeminglyranch87 · 1 year ago

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Taylor & Travis Timeline

June 2024 - Part 3

June 25 - Travis Kelce is a guest on "Bussin with the Boys" Podcast and talks about his relationship with Taylor (x 1:14:18). Podcast recorded 19 June 2024

Travis is asked how his team mates handled the news that he was dating Taylor...

"no nobody really gave me [a hard time] no, really nobody knew what was going on really all over the place, we kind of kept it between us as much as we could but once she came to a game obviously it was all popping from there"

"you want to keep things private but at the same time I'm not here to hide anything, that's my girl you know what I mean that's my lady, I'm proud of that so it's like I'm not sitting here trying to juggle 'how can I keep this under wraps'. You just don't want to let everybody into your personal life and be able to comment on it knowing that everything she does is getting a headline."

When asked about what has been crazy as a result of dating Taylor Travis replies

"it's been cool, it's a different demographic than the NFL really so it's been cool to dabble in that and see her following, it's been fun.

"The Chiefs fans have turned into a lot of her fans or her fans have turned into Chiefs fans so I've had fun with just about every aspect of it. It's just when you're at home you want privacy and you don't always get that"

On supporting each other and Taylor going on to the field at the Super Bowl:

"she's very self-aware she understands situations and that's why I really started to really fall for her was how genuine she is around friends & family, it can get crazy for somebody with that much attention and she just keeps it so chill and so cool and because you know everyone's watching what hey what move

"The first game she came to against the Bears I was like 'hey yeah so I could probably set you up with everything' and she just walked right through the front door. There's no going down talking to security making sure that she gets to her [box seat] she just wants to be around the family and friends and experience this with everybody. She got Buu points for that. She's in the madness, she wants to be a part of it, she wants to support me and do things like that. She really won me over with that one though."

How's it been going to the concerts?

"dude the concerts are electric yeah they're electric and she just switched it up, she just came out with the new album so she Incorporated that into the new show, she's having fun up there so it's like I can enjoy seeing her in her element killing it on stage and I love the show man she's got bangers."

Travis is asked to name his top tier songs of Taylor's...

"I really started listening to Taylor's music when she came out with 1989 like I knew who she was before that, we were the same age we so through high school I knew who Taylor was as she was getting her career started. 1989 was where it really started to go crazy so I'm going to say Blank Space because that was the first one great song so I'm put that one at number one. "Number two; Cruel Summer is one of the ones she opens with at her show and when she comes out and it's just Electric in the stadium and then she goes into an absolute banger like that, I was fired up when that happened the first show I was ever at" "What would be my third? I'll say So High School, it's got a little bit of a sentimental meaning". "You know how to ball, I know Aristotle"

June 26 - New Heights - The London Episode airs (recorded Sat 22nd June in London). Jason and Travis Kelce talk about Jason and Kylie's first experience of the Eras Tour in London UK.

“13+87 i’m just saying it works”

Calm Down with Erin & Charissa podcast. Erin Andrews & Charissa Thompson share their experience of attending the Eras Tour at Wimbledon Night 1 and chatting with Travis in the VIP tent... (x)

Charissa: “you must be so proud of her.” Travis: “you have no idea.”

June 28 - The Eras Tour, Aviva Stadium, Dublin, Ireland

State of Grace x You’re on Your Own Kid (guitar) & Sweet Nothing x Hoax (piano)

June 29 - The Eras Tour, Aviva Stadium, Dublin, Ireland

The Albatross x Dancing With Our Hands Tied (guitar) & Ours x This Love (piano)

June 30 - The Eras Tour, Aviva Stadium, Dublin, Ireland

Travis flew in from LA and arrived part way through the Folklore/Evermore era, this is the moment Taylor saw him arrive (x)

Stevie Nicks & Julia Roberts are in attendance.

Clara Bow x The Lucky One (guitar) & You're On Your Own Kid (piano)

Trav let her bejeweled 🥰😭🤩 (x)

Taylor, Travis, Stevie Nicks, Paramore, band and dancers enjoyed a post show celebration at Hacienda Bar in Dublin (x)

Go to previous update -> June part 2

Go to next update -> July part 1

Return to the timeline

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rosetintedchainsaw · 4 months ago

Note

is it alright if I ask you some questions, like a q&a thing? you can answer ic or ooc, whichever youd prefer. some of these you don't have to really answer if you don't like them.

1. what's your name?

2. zodiac sign?

3. what inspired you to start writing and/or roleplaying as characters?

4. when did you start playing roblox?

5. favorite games, movies, songs/bands?

6. favorite colors?

7. pets?

8. how'd you get into daisy's house?

9. do you actually use drugs?

10. favorite place?

11. have you ever been to jail?

12. favorite food/drinks?

13. What celebrity would you want to go out to dinner with?

14. Any tattoos or piercings?

15. any favorite perfume/fragrances?

16. any make-up/favorite brands you use?

17. Childhood experiences?

18. School?

19. Any favorite TV shows?

20. Any paranormal/ghost experiences?

21. What inspires your writing?

22. Religion?

23. Any nicknames?

24. Favorite books?

25. What makes you happy?

26. Are you as goth as your characters?

27. What's your favorite things in writing? Themes, tropes, etc.

28. Places you'd like to visit?

29. Any relationships you've been in?

30. Any favorite characters from the myth?

1. Unfortunately I don't think I'll ever beat the "Jessa is a me allegations". She got her name from me. Jess has also been thrown at me.

2. A Cancer from June 30th! Maybe I was a mis-print on the zodiac assembly line, but I don't usually cry as much as we supposedly do. If I do it's only for really weird things. I'm very in tune with emotions however.

3. I'm not really sure where it all started, but ages ago a friend in a very fancy art class I was taking showed me what quotev was (It's a very cute site but I have long since outgrown it.) I guess that's where my actual writing officially started. Roleplaying as characters is a very complicated question. Same for writing as well, even. They're both just things I've done on-and-off throughout my life.

4. Arounddd 2016? I'm not sure what led me to it, but I'm assuming someone showed it to me at some point.

5. Games: Roblox (who knew), Animal Crossing (it's relaxing as it is frustrating), just about any of those late 2000's-early 2010's flash games you'd see online back then. My elementary school was infested with them.

Movies: I hope and pray this doesn't make me sound pretentious but nearly anything by Dario Argento. Mainly Suspiria, Tenebrae, Deep Red, Inferno, and Phenomena. They're all absolutely wonderful and breathtaking and bizarre and I love them dearly. I also dearly love May (2002). Actually, anything with Angela Bettis. She's amazing. The Ginger Snaps franchise (a huge inspiration for Jessa, might I add), Heathers, Carrie, Thirteen, Girl Interrupted, Queen of the Damned, The Breakfast Club, Nightmare before Christmas, Edward Scissorhands makes me ugly sob, Ghost World, and the black-and-white universal monster movies. We had vhs's and DVD's of all of them, and I'd sit there as a kid with a plate of cookies and just watch them for hours. If only there were signs I'd turn out the way I did.. Also anything old Disney/Hannah Barbera. I won't say more..

Bands: Hole, Jack Off Jill, Scarling, Babes in Toyland, my bloody valentine, Pagan Babies, Katastrophy Wife, Kittie, The Italian Whorenuns, System of a Down, Voodoo Church, Strawberry Switchblade, Switchblade Symphony, Type o Negative (Peter Steele was the apple of my eye for perhaps a little too long..), Catfight! (Their 2000's drummer also happens to be one of my best friends mom, small world), Incubus, Deftones, Smashing Pumpkins, Korn, Veruca Salt, Cocteau Twins, Garbage, Paramore, The Birthday Massacre, Genitorturers, Blondie, (very recently) Abderdeen is Dead, Lunachicks, and a billion more.

6. My favorite colors are Shadowy Purple, anything dark purple, Black, Wine Red, Rose Quartz Pink, White, Caramel Brown, specific shades of Orange, Murky Gray, and Hot Pink, but it must be mixed with black. Also some shades of blue that I refuse to look up right now. It's 2am as I write this.

7. I've had a revolving door of pets throughout my life. Unfortunately the grim reaper tends to loiter around my family for some reason. From the order I remember, two cats named Rue (a sandy gray) and Joe (a fluffy white my mom owned and adored. His mom's name was Sweetpea, who I wish I could have met), Poppycat (named by a possibly six-year-old me. She ended up having a baby that I promptly named Poppycandy. Unfortunately they both passed not long after the latter's birth.), a few other cats, Porky and Phoenix respectively. Porky was an abandoned-street cat who I fawned over, but he had some bad heart issues. Phoenix was an orange tabby who found us by sleeping on a chair in our little front patio area. Unfortunately, drivers in our area love to speed. And then lastly was an adorable pug Angel. I had her for around ten years, and she was titled my little sister. She passed around a year ago. Since luck is obviously not with me animal wise, I'm sure I won't be taking in any more. It's a shame, since I very much adore animals.

8. Either by chance or maybe it was fated. I was scrolling through my recommended games when I saw the cover photo for it, this blocky child standing in front of a cheery pink house. I quickly neverminded the "curiosity killed the cat" mindset and checked it out. The first thing I saw (and by extension what character!Jessa saw), was Radio teasing both Venus and Camilla about each other.

9. I do use drugs.

10. Oddly enough, mostly indoor places. A few motel rooms I stayed in come to mind. It's really the sort of liminal yet cozy stillness of it all. Whenever you go into them you can very much feel the presences of whoever stayed in them last. There was also this living room of a house I used to stay in with several people. Especially at night, when the windows were open and I could hear the crickets outside. It was very comfortable, being in the middle of that old house and all. Outdoors has its absolute beauty too. Just yesterday me and my soul sister went out to this river. There were a few large boulders in the middle of it, so we laid out a blanket and put on some music. Related to the last question, yes, we were both on fae leaves.

11. Surprisingly no, those after-school-special shows make trespassing and shoplifting seem a lot riskier than they have been. It could just be my area, so don't take this as gospel.

12. My favorite food changes nearly every day, but I really enjoyed eating some cake in my room with the lights all turned off, with only a few candles lit. It made me feel like a bit of an old haunted doll, eating plastic cake in some decrepit dollhouse. I love tea, mostly sweet, but I may be in love with vodka with cherry additives.

13. Britney Spears. I think we'd both greatly benefit from cussing out a few grudges.

14. Saving up for tattoos (I'll probably just eat some bunny rabbits and pentagrams), and for piercings I have my needle-experienced soul sister on speed dial. None of her clients have gotten infections. Yet..

15. For favorite perfumes, I really enjoyed a few bottles I nabbed from my mom. They were rain/weather themed. They're all used up now, though, and I haven't found any good replacements. I'm currently using this sort of birthday-cake/strawberry fragrance. I don't have the name or label, sadly. I usually also just go with whatever my soul sister spritzes on me. I trust her judgement.

16. Right now scarlet red wet 'n wild lip oil is my absolute lifeline. Without it I will wither away into a fine sad dust pile. Some air volume mega mascara has also been a godsend, but I'm weary to it drying-up.

17. I don't know if I was some sort of Hollywood celebrity in one of my past lives, but for some reason I almost have this primal media-trained urge to refuse to share or vent about anything really. To keep it brief, it was absolutely horrid.

18. Despite it all being a public-education hellscape, I actually did quite well. Academically I was very unfocused. Elementary was mostly day-dreaming, I mean this in a friendly teasing way when I say that no one should be all too proud of their middle school years, and high school was great. I made a lot of good friends and memories, but it was still a public school. The fights were very fun to watch, though.

19. I haven't watched much TV recently, but as a kid it was definitely something that kept me entertained. Mostly the Goldbergs, Scooby Doo, Hannah-Barbera cartoons, those crime investigation shows I watched supposedly way too young. I'd watch them while sitting in my grandma's room while playing with my dollhouse. Steven Universe was great too.

20. I've had too many over the years, and I was too morbid as a child to make any emotional note of them. A year or so ago though, one of my roommates went down into the downstairs area of our house, and discovered bleach stains on the carpet floor left by the previous tenant, and there were these really bad claw marks left on the doorknob leading out. She ended up saging the area, but my room's another story. I've had these almost seizure-dreams. Almost the opposite of sleep paralysis, where instead I'm being violently shaken by some unseen force. What spirit do I owe money, apparently?

21. What inspires my writing.. well, if I said my life experiences, that might raise a few alarms, but really it's life, dreams, life experiences from people I've known, music (pretty on the inside by hole fueled much of Jessa's tale), books and stories I've consumed, and a few spiritual questions I've always wanted answered. And injustices, traumas, childhood wonder and fears bloodshed, peace, persistence, brutality, feminism, war, hopelessness, demonology, family, soul ties, and overlooming dread. Despite my nature as a horror/drama writer, I desperately want Jessa to fare well with her new found family. Unfortunately most of her family members crash out harder than the cars racing on the highway near my house /j /lh

22. Supposedly I'm a Theistic Satanist, but I am probably not the best example. I haven't carved out the time to do much except put together a shabby alter and a few calming/focus rituals. I do have a baphomet plushie, so that may count for something. I did get a lot of attention from the Satanist section of the most recent pride parade I went to. They're very sweet people.

23. Mostly Jess, but as a kid since my signs Cancer (water sign) I'd be promptly blamed at school for whenever it rained during recess. Stuff like water queen or water bender. I was also known as a "little witch", since bad things always seemed to happen to those around me. It wasn't something I was ever really happy about though. Me and my mom also seemed a bit like a witchy kind of pair, although our red hair probably had something to do with it.

24. Anything by Stephen King I love, mostly Carrie though. I have it by my nightstand. Anything fantasy, mystical, demonic. I also read through Britney Spears's autobiography. It was heartbreaking and lovely.

25. What makes me happy is the people I have in my life right now. Not anyone from my family, but rather my friends (in reality or online). They've all kept me alive and breathing for all of these years, and I cherish all of them. I've very much enjoyed getting to know some of my most recent online friends as well. They've been an absolute light, and I'm glad to be able to share whatever I create with them, and vice versa. I also love rain, reading and writing, flowers, animals, the moon, and just about anything else either beautiful and cute or dark and morbid.

25. Am I as goth as my characters? I played with my dolls and dollhouse while my grandma watched true crime/murder shows on the TV, I grew up with monster movies, and I was maybe around seven when I told a poor unsuspecting kid that I would bury him alive in the playground sandpit. If I didn't grow up to be goth, I would have been crucified. Also, Bauhaus, Voodoo Church, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Killing Joke, Echo and the Bunnymen are all near and dear to my heart.

26. Some of my favorite things in writing would have to be contradictions, or dissonances if you want to be fancy. Two things that contrast each other. Happy, soothing music playing during a horrid scene, or any two things that simply do not belong together yet must co-exist. 'Cause that's what my entire life has really been. A balance of ethereal beauty and horrific/disturbing surrealism. I usually love horror stories as a result of this, but I'm also very inclined to warmth, found family, and bittersweetness. Too much angst tends to wear me out. Too much fluff feels too safe.

27. I wish I could've gone to Monster High instead of regular school /j. I can't think of the name now, but there's this place where you can supposedly see this large gathering of these magnificent autumn trees, with all their leaves a bright blooming orange. Seeing that would heal me. Maybe a forest with plenty of animals and monsters for me to have tea with. As for fictional, alice's wonderland.

28. Yes, but they were all short-lived and quite questionable as to whether we were really together. The previous one wanted to shoot up our school, so there's that. I personally think many guys simply are quite weary of pursuing anything further with me beyond a few stares or teases of "hey, what if?", which I understand. I think I'm much more of the "old mean witch lady of the woods who lives with only her evil black cat and a haunted rocking chair" variety anyway. If I do find someone, I'm fine with it. If I don't, I'm fine with that as well.

29. I don't want to play favorites as they're all beautifully written and portrayed by everyone involved /gen, but I do like Alice as she reminds me a bit of a younger me, and I've really warmed up to Venus, he's always a treat. Jonah is also very wonderful, and his vibe is just perfect. I also very much like Kriston and Aculia.

#ooc posting #qna

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lbulldesigns · 1 year ago

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UPDATE (1 Month Later): AITAH For accusing my former best friend of trying to break up my relationship, and promptly ending our thirteen-year-long friendship?

Posted June 20th, 2021

TDLR: I (18M) allowed himself to get gaslit into believing that my best friend of 13 years was being toxic and possessive, and threw said friendship away without a second thought. And realized, too late, how stupid and rash I was being and now can't make things right because she ran away from home.

It's been a month since I last posted here, and have been getting comments asking for an update. I initially decided to not post here anymore, but figured that the people who showed genuine concern for Pow deserved an update.

Sorry for the silence, the past month has been emotionally taxing, to say the least, I'll try and keep this post short but fear it might be long.

So my last update ended with me at an Enforcers station with Pow's family, Van had managed to get hold of his best friend, who is also Pow, and Daisy's maternal uncle, to inform him and his wife about Pow's disappearance. The uncle appeared at the station shortly after getting off his flight, the two were on vacation and came home as soon as they found out Pow was gone, and went straight to the Enforcer at the front desk and just hands him a piece of paper.

I don't know what was on that paper, but suddenly the officer was super cooperative and calling the sheriff down to meet us.

There was a lot of back and forth between everyone, I honestly wasn't paying attention. But the uncle wasn't happy with how the whole situation was being handled, he was incensed with Van for not making sure Pow was where he expected her to be sooner, and was snappy with Daisy (for reasons I wasn't privy to).

He then turned his anger onto me and started interrogating me on how foolish I was and he wasn't pulling his punches, this man has a sharp tongue and a talent to hit where it hurts the most. He only stopped when his wife put a hand on his arm and just gave him a look, she then gave me a pitying look and he decided he was done with me then and there.

Long story short the sheriff stated that there was nothing they could legally do to search for Pow because she was 18 and had by all accounts left voluntarily, that they could put out a missing person for her in the hopes of performing a wellness check but considering she had gone home and taken some of her belongings and paperwork, the chances she'll hurt herself are slim and they couldn't waste resources looking for someone who doesn't want to be found.

We were confused for a second but then it was revealed that Cat, Daisy's GF, knows the sheriff (I didn't care to ask how) and had told her that her and Daisy had gone through Pow's room and found she had left her phone behind, as well as a note, and that some of her belongings were gone.

There was a lot of arguing going on at this point, mostly between Van and Daisy with him asking why she didn't say something to HIM earlier, but by this point I was checking out and only checked back in when Benny (my godfather) gently shook my shoulder to get my attention.

Everyone was looking at me, as if waiting for me to answer a question or something. Cat didn't say anything and handed Pow's phone to me, to show me something and what I saw made my whole body cold and numb.

There were chat logs between Pow and Kara, where Kara was being her "sweet self" and buddying up to Pow thanking her for her help with tutoring her for their science class. Apparently Pow was helping Kara with her studies because she was falling behind in science, and Kara was using this as an opportunity to become friends with Pow.

This would have been a good thing, except Kara was "helping" Pow realise her feelings for me, and encouraging her to confess her to me. She wasn't letting on that her and I were interested in each other, if anything she kept talking about me as if I were just an acquantance, a friend of a friend she says. I paid attention to the dates on every message and noticed when Pow finally decided to "take a leap of faith" and confess to me, was the same day Kara confessed she really liked me and asked if we could be offcial.

I felt sick and numb at the same time, I handed the phone back to Cat and then pulled my own out and unlocked it for everyone else to look through. I didn't say anything the whole time.

Everythign after that is a blur, everyone stood around talking but I didn't pay attention. Benny took me home but I didn't say anything. And when we got home, I just went to bed and didn't get out for a week.

Benny had called my school and told them that I was sick, and organised for my schoolwork to be delivered to my home so that I could catch up when I was feeling better. But I kinda just gave up on everything, my best friend was gone because of me and none of us could go look for her.

After a week, Clag (Pow's eldest brother) came into my room, took one look at me, sighed and then proceeded to fireman carry me out of my room and into the living room. Where Van, Daisy, and Zer were, to give me an intervention. They were worried for me and didn't want me to spiral further than I already was, Van told me that I made a dumb mistake but none of this was solely my fault, and that there were many contributing factors at play, and that giving up on everything wasn't going to help anyone let alone Pow.

I didn't fully believe him but a large weight had been taken off of my chest, Daisy said that she was there to talk at any point if I needed to and that she wasn't angry at me, she said that I was just as much a victim here as Pow, that the real person at fault was Kara.

I'll be honest I had completely forgotten about her at that point, and stupidly felt guilty for ignoring my GF before remembering that she was the drivng force behind everything. Suddenly I felt angry and sick all over again.

Zer noticed my change in mood and filled me in on what had happened at school, about how my friends and Kara had been planning on how to "get back" at Pow only for her to never turn up to school, and then I didn't turn up and wasn't picking up any of their calls.

She told me how she was in the girls toilets, hiding in one of the stalls trying to get hold of either me or Pow, when she heard Kara and her friends come in and listened to Kara bitching about how she couldn't get her "revenge" on that "blue haired bitch".

Kara had organised for half the school to meet up at the front of it, with half rotten tomatoes, ready to throw at Pow when she showed up. But she never did, and it spoilt the "fun" for Kara. One of her friends was being "comforting" and reminded Kara of the little gifts left in Pow's locker, Zer couldn't get a idea of what they emant because they were being vague.

One of the girls, apparently had an actual braincell and morsel of conscience, and asked if maybe Pow didn't actually know and if this wasn't a bit much. Kara actually groaned and said that "that was the point" and that everything worked out much better than she expected because of what a "simp" I am.

There are no words to describe how I'm feeling, even now. I want to say angry but that feels like an understatement, I probably shouldn't direct all my anger at Kara, I should never have been swayed, but the difference is that Kara had meticuosly planned this like a complete sociopath.

I wanted to get back at her, but I also did't want to be worse than her. So I did the only thing I could think of. I dumped her over text. I just said "I know everything. We're done" and then blocked her number, after saving screenshots of her messages. She never said anything obviously incrimidating, but I felt it was worth doing so anyway.

I also told Zer about the messages between Pow and Kara, and Zer just said "leave it to me". She also told me that she wanted to still stay friends, but that she wouldn't hold back in any ass whooping in the future if I got stupid again.

For now, Benny has organised for me to take an extended leave from school on the condition that I do all of my schooling online. He also organised with Pow's aunt for me to volunteer at the food drive and community centre she runs, I'm thankful for how much of a caring person she is. She adores Pow and is disappointed in me for my actions, but she's also a forgiving person and believes in second chances.

I'm sorry for the long post, this will be the last post I make about all of this. I wish that it could have ended with Pow coming home, and everything being well again but it isn't.

She's still gone, but knwing that she took money, clothes, and necessary paperwork with her makes me hopeful that she'll take care of herself. She's an incredibly intelligent person afterall, maybe one day I'll see her in collage or run into her on the street.

But until then, I'll work on myself. Better myself. And hopefully grow to be a better man, than I was a boy.

Thank you to everyone who simultaneuoly kicked some sense into me, and showed support throughout all of this.

Take care.

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lebomboniere06 · 10 days ago

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Summary from June 13 to June 14 for the Korean stage greetings of the film 366 Days, featuring Akaso Eiji:

📌 June 13–14 Korean Stage Greeting Summary

What is that round thing in the left pocket of his pants?

(Some fans speculate it's a newly bought pair of noise-canceling headphones, others joke it's popcorn that got stuck between his teeth during the Okinawa screening 😂)

📍 Setagaya Ward, Futako-Tamagawa – 6/13 19:20 Screening

Q: First impressions of Korea?

Akaso: The food is really good.

Q: Anything you liked?

He said he arrived the day before, and that today both the stylist and hairdresser were Korean—it was his first time trying Korean-style makeup/hair and he found it very interesting.

Q: Highlights of the film?

He mentioned the beautiful scenery in Okinawa and how it might make people want to visit. The key theme is the missed connection between Minato and Miu—he hopes people focus on that.

📍 6/13 19:30 Screening

Introduced himself in Korean as “I’m Brad Pitt,” then immediately added, “Just kidding!” 😂

Said he had interviews that day, and hopes fans will be able to see them soon.

Film highlight:

Scenes where Minato and Miu live together mark a big turning point—he hopes fans will notice that.

Closed with “Korean is so hard” in Korean (with a laugh).

📍 6/13 19:40 Screening

What did he do the day before?

Ate grilled beef intestines and large intestines. He said he still wants to eat grilled pork belly.

Film highlight:

How the characters miss each other because they care too much. He wants fans to observe each character's inner feelings.

📍 6/13 19:50 Screening

He went for a walk and practiced Korean with store clerks, but they kept replying in Japanese—so he couldn’t really practice 😆

Wants to try going to a Korean jjimjilbang (sauna).

The film has many tearjerking scenes. He joked that he wants to wipe everyone’s tears but since he can’t be there, “please use a handkerchief yourselves” 🤣

For the giveaway, Akaso was supposed to choose seats—but picked five empty ones. He joked his blood type is B and birthday is March 1, so maybe it should be seat B-13 🤣 Finally, someone won.

📍 6/14 12:05 Screening

Said he went to a sauna the night before and felt really refreshed. Had BBQ at noon and felt sleepy afterward 😴

Behind-the-scenes: the beach scene where Minato lies down—he wasn’t crying, it was just the sun being too bright to keep his eyes open.

Trivia giveaway question:

“When Himari listens to the MD, is it track 1 or 2?”

📍 6/14 12:15 Screening

Favorite scene? He mimed the headphone-tapping gesture.

Trivia giveaway: “What color was the T-shirt Minato wore when running to the wedding?” He said he didn’t remember himself 😂

Talked about going to a sauna and open-air bath. Observed that most fans use Android phones—new discovery for him. He also learned that Korean toilet paper goes in the trash, not the toilet 😂

A fan called him a "face genius." He tried translating “genius” into Korean and said “I’m a genius” in Korean 😂 Then repeated it again during his speech.

Took letters from fans before leaving the stage 💌

📍 6/14 14:40 Screening

Said food in Korea is great, and the sauna yesterday made him really happy.

Still hasn’t had grilled pork belly—interpreter translated that, and he repeated it in Korean. Then said “Korean is hard” again 😂

Film highlight: The relationship between Minato and Miu is key—he joked “Just look at me!” but said seriously that fans should pay attention to their story.

Giveaway changed to rock-paper-scissors—Akaso won too quickly and said he’s too good at it 😆

📍 6/14 14:50 Screening

Entered the stage with an especially loud greeting 🎉

Tried using Korean with store clerks, but they mostly replied in Japanese—so couldn’t improve his listening skills.

Said at a convenience store, he thought 20,000 won was 20,000 yen, and said in Korean “So expensive!” The clerk angrily replied in Japanese “If it’s too expensive, don’t buy it” 😅

Still wants grilled pork belly 😂 Said "I want to eat" in Korean.

Film highlight: All the characters are kind; hopes fans will rewatch the film from different perspectives.

Took a while for a giveaway winner to emerge—Akaso told the winner “You’re good at rock-paper-scissors” XD

📍 6/14 16:15 Screening

Difference between Korean and Japanese cinema atmospheres?

Korean audiences are very warm. Surprised many people use Android phones and have cameras ready.

Favorite scene: the bus-stop-to-wedding scene—though he said such behavior isn't acceptable in real life 😂

For the headphone-tapping scene, it was supposed to be spoken, but because of the distance, Akaso suggested acting it out instead.

Fans asked for a "Brad Pitt pose"—he joked in Korean “That’s a lie!” 😂

📍 6/14 16:25 Screening

Audience was already super hyped when he entered 😆

Korean fans were very warm and welcoming—he felt comfortable.

Had soda ice cream for lunch (fans yelled "kawaii" XD). Said in Korean “Very delicious.”

Role he wants to try? Saito-kun (but forgot the character’s name). Fans told him it’s Kotaro. Said Kotaro is cute, but he’d have to halve his age to play him XD

Asked what he imagines Minato would be like after the film ends—said he hopes Minato lives a happy life but hasn’t imagined whether he’d fall in love again.

📍 6/14 16:35 Screening

How was meeting the audience?

Said it’s been a while since he did in-person events, especially in Korea, so he was very happy.

Difference from Japan?

Japanese audiences mainly clap, while Korean fans make noise—right after that, fans made some noise 😂

Also, in Japan, taking photos isn’t allowed.

Where would you go next time in Korea?

Wants to stroll around, discover stylish cafes or restaurants spontaneously, and maybe have a drink.

Fans asked him to perform a line—he said monologues weren’t lines, so he didn’t remember, but said “I like this smell” 😊

Giveaway: “What did I just eat?” A fan said "ice cream"—wrong. After many tries, he gave a hint “you can get it at the cinema.” The answer was “popcorn” (salted). He joked, “who would get this without a hint?” 😂

📍 6/14 19:00 Screening

Said he just learned the Korean for “I know.” Fans yelled “I love you,” “So cute,” “So handsome,” and he repeated everything instantly 😂

Film highlight: The story of Minato and Miu is central, but all the characters are kind.

Was asked to recommend a dinner—he said he’ll be eating grilled pork belly later and invited fans to join. Fans joked that he’s promoting grilled pork belly more than the movie 😂

📍 6/14 19:10 Screening

Said several Korean dish names in Korean, and fans responded with more—he said “I still haven’t had grilled pork belly today” in Korean. Since he had filming afterward, he couldn’t drink.

Said he tried to speak Korean with the audience but ended up making the vibe awkward—but fans warmly responded. He commented that Korean fans are really kind.

Film highlight: He paid attention to Minato’s feelings when interacting with Miu and hopes viewers will notice that.

During photo time, joked “my hairstylist will get mad if my hair gets messy” 😂

📍 6/14 19:20 Screening

How did he feel after a whole day of stage greetings?

Extremely happy. Each session was about 10 minutes, but it didn’t feel tiring at all.

Fans wished he could stay longer—he joked “I’ll cancel the flight and tear up my passport” 😂

Time to show off his Korean again.

Told a story about how a convenience store clerk told him “Have a nice weekend” in Japanese, then when he tried paying 20,000 won and said in Korean “So expensive,” the clerk snapped in Japanese: “If it’s expensive, don’t buy it.” He realized he had mistaken won for yen again 🤦‍♂️

Anything he regrets not doing in Korea?

He wanted to shop—he's been following Korean fashion for a while and wanted to explore more brands.

Will he come to Korea again?

“It’s a secret”

Film highlight: Asked if anyone had been to Okinawa. Said the scenery is beautiful, and those who haven’t been might want to visit after watching.

During photo time, someone asked him to wink—he said he can’t 😂

#akaso eiji #eiji akaso #366 days #366 nichi #Korea #day 2

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myseungsunglove · 2 years ago

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Kim Seungmin Masterlist

S - Smut F - Fluff A - Angst

44,640 Minutes (F) the reader is missing her boyfriend while he is away on tour. -June 28, 2023-

Waking up with You (F,S) Waking up the morning after your wedding. -July 5, 2023-

The Way You Make Feel (S)While getting obviously turned on watching Seungmin perform for the comeback, he notices your reaction while on stage. After the performances are finished, he drags you to a small room, his large hands eager to touch your body. With the promise that if you’re quiet the reward later will be even greater than what he is currently offering, you try your damndest to be the quietest you can while experiencing pure bliss. And with Seungmin’s long, slender fingers, it’s a task that proves much harder than you could have possibly imagined. -July 14, 2023-

Unexpected (A,F) You find yourself writing a letter to your boyfriend Kim Seungmin to tell him all of the seemingly small and insightful ways and not so small ways you have felt loved by him when you never expected to feel truly loved by anyone. -July 25, 2023-

When darkness comes, you’re always there (A,F) It's been one of those days where your demons win every argument. Beat you down and remind you how worthless you are. There’s only one person who offers any solace when you get this lost and that's Kim Seungmin. -August 1, 2023-

Love and Affection(F) Everyone expects Seungmin to be more reserved in public with you since it’s his first relationship, but he is anything but. -August 18, 2023-

Forever with You(F) Sometimes you and Seungmin don’t need words to express how deeply you love each other. -August 30, 2023-

Do Something(A,F) The reader can’t keep her feelings to herself anymore when it comes to Kim Seungmin. After a particularly trying day busy with practices and an impending concert, she explodes on her best friend, spilling her feelings for him but doesn’t exactly go about expressing those feelings in the best way. -September 10, 2023-

Love Without Words (A, S, F) There is nothing quite like a night with Seungmin to erase all need for words between you. -October 13, 2023-

Breaking Point (A, S) There is one relationship with a member that you can cut the sexual tension with a knife for several months now. Maybe it’s been longer, but it was finally pointed out to you by some of the other members and now the thought plagues your mind. You make it your goal to slowly chip away at Kim Seungmin’s resolve, bringing him to the breaking point. Little do you realize, he may be the one to break you. -October 22, 2023-

Dream a Little Dream (F) You’ve been dreaming about this man for weeks. You almost wish you could live life in the dream instead of the real world. Everything is easier there. It’s just you and him and no worries or cares. What if dreams really could become reality? -October 23, 2023-

All the Little Things (F) You fall in love with all the little things Kim Seungmin does. -November 4, 2023-

Fireplace Melodies (F) Soft thoughts about a quiet afternoon with Kim Seungmin. -November 27, 2023-

Let Me Count the Ways (F) soft thoughts about how each member absolutely adores Kim Seungmin. - December 3, 2023-

Bet You Won’t (F) soft sleep thoughts of kissing Kim Seungmin. -December 7, 2023-

I Wanna See You (S) - an entry for my smut prompt list. Seungmin has his way with you in front of the mirror, on the floor of practice room E in a bliss filled moment you won’t soon forget. -December 9, 2033-

A Beautiful Distraction (F) - Nothing is quite as distracting as Kim Seungmin. -December 19, 2023-

Only You (F) - An honest conversation with your best friend sometimes results in surprising revelations. -January 2, 2024-

You’re Gonna Pay for That (S) - no plot here, just smut smut smut. -February 16, 2024-

More than Willing (S) - Seungmin has been your constant since the moment you joined JYP Entertainment. He’s been your safe haven and your biggest supporter. When you became the 9th addition to Stray Kids in 2020, it only brought the two of you closer, but over the years there has been an unspeakable tension boiling at the surface, just waiting for a weak spot to break through and rear it's tempting head. -February 28, 2024-

Eternity in Your Eyes (F) - You never thought this day would come, but here you are at the first day of the rest of your life. -March 6, 2024-

First Pitch (A, F) -Seungmin struggles to understand why his fiance can’t be by his side on one of the most important days of his life. -April 11, 2024-

I Know, Jagiya (F) - Confessing your love for someone is always a risk. -April 22, 2024-

NDA (F) -Scrolling through tik tok brings forth some questions for the reader that really only Kim Seungmin can answer. -August 24, 2024-

As We Are - Seungmin lays it all on the line, risking years of friendship, but he doesn’t want friendship anymore. He wants so much more and he wants you to know. -October 13, 2024-

Birds of a Feather - Seungmin prepares to release his ninth Songby, but little do you know he has prepared something else as well. -March 31, 2025-

#Kim Seungmin #Kim Seungmin x Reader #Kim Seungmin Imagines #Kim Seungmin One Shots #Kim Seungmin Drabbles #Kim Seungmin Fluff #Kim Seungmin Angst #Kim Seungmin Smut

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aroaceconfessions · 2 years ago

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I have 3 siblings (13, 14, 22) and I (soon to be 19) am the only aroace one. I'm definitely sapphic, there is something with girls that clicks, just not like that. And I will never not find hilarious that out of all my siblings (the younger ones being quite popular and the older one having a 3 years headstart on me) it's me, the one with no interest in sex or romance and who would have more limited options anyway since I'm sapphic and the other ones are straight (little bro might be bi but the point still stands), who has been on the most dates, who has kissed the most people, who has shared a bed with the most people (discounting, like, family because that's just normal when there is a lot of people and not a lot of space). And it's not compulsory romantic/sexual behaviour, it's not internalised a-phobia, my platonic relationships are just ridiculously queer. But nothing will ever be funnier than my mother choking on her drink when I casually mentioned the fact I, the only one to have never been in a relationship, who she knows to be aroace, have definitely kissed more people than all three of my siblings combined. Like, just because I feel utterly neutral about it doesn't mean I will chicken out when the bottle points to me. And dates are a really fun way to hang out. Seriously, have you ever tried to turn a meeting with a friend into a parody of a rom-com ? Because I regularly do and it's awesome. And like, sharing a bed with a friend shouldn't be a big deal. Spooning shouldn't even be a big deal. It's comfy and it's only weird if you make it weird. In truth, once you understand our view of romance is a social construct then you realise no behaviour is inherently romantic, just affectionate and you should be able to display your affection for a loved one however you want as long as you're both comfortable. Relationships should be about the people in them, not the society around them.

I didn't expect this rant about a funny fact to turn into social commentary but here we are.

Submitted June 9, 2023

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #aro #ace #arospec #acespec #arose #sapphic #qpp #qpr #queer platonic relationship #queer platonic partner #friends #friendship

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dhr-ao3 · 12 days ago

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Shadows of war

Shadows of war https://ift.tt/5ONieAG by Routh464 After the Battle: The Battle of Hogwarts was meant to be the end - the turning point where Voldemort's reign would finally collapse. But fate had twisted cruelly. Voldemort had survived. Hidden in the shadows of the shattered castle, badly weakened but alive, he retreated to rebuild his forces. And at his side, a new shadow moved: Draco Malfoy, once a boy of privilege and doubt, now hardened and ruthless as Voldemort's chief Death Eater. Hermione Granger, one of the last sparks of hope for the resistance, had narrowly escaped capture. Harry and Ron, battered but unbroken, moved in the shadows alongside her - their loyalty unshaken. But every step they took, every safe haven they sought, was threatened by Draco's relentless pursuit. Voldemort saw Hermione as a key to breaking the fragile alliance between Harry and the Order - a bargaining chip to crush their morale and force surrender. And Draco was the weapon wielded to make it happen. Words: 4195, Chapters: 2/7, Language: English Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Categories: F/M Characters: Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers via AO3 works tagged 'Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy' https://ift.tt/r4Vhpzt June 13, 2025 at 09:27PM

#IFTTT #Dramione #Draco x Hermione

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jeffannieresource · 2 years ago

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My (long, long, very long) List of Favorite Jeff/Annie fics -- Part 1a

Click here to read the notes for this list.

Truth or Dare by shan21non Rated: PG-13 Date Originally Posted: June 6, 2010 Annie, Britta and Shirley have an old fashion slumber party and a game of truth or dare is played.

They Can Never Call You by It by columbuscrab Rated: PG-13 Date Originally Posted: Oct 31, 2010 This is a response to last week's Ficcy Friday prompt: Annie starts using Adderall again and Jeff is the only one who seems to notice.

Water, Words, and Warmth by wordybee Rated: G Date Originally Posted: Jan 21, 2011 alternate ending to Asian Population Studies

The Wonder That’s Keeping the Stars Apart by seizinghearts Rated: PG Date Originally Posted: Jan 23, 2011 An Annie character piece. Also an alternate ending to Asian Population Studies (based not on the rain scene but on the bathroom one).

Acquittal by supercapo Rated: PG-13 Date Originally Posted: Feb 13, 2011 Jeff's past comes back to haunt him when Annie is attacked and hospitalized.

Final Test by itsactuallycorrine Rated: M Date Originally Posted: Feb 20, 2011 Jeff has some things to say to Annie before he can complete his journey to be a better man

It Hits Him and It Hits Him Again by Avaritia_90 Rated: PG-13 Date Originally Posted: March 19, 2011 - Match 24, 2011 For Ficcy Friday's prompt of Jeff telling Annie he's in love with her.

Turn My Power Off by seren_ccd Rated: M/R Date Originally Posted: April 1, 2011 “And your hands? Kinda? ‘Cause they’re so um, big?” she said her voice getting quiet. Then she smiled uneasily and asked, “So! What turns you on?”

Dinner Plans (1/2/3) by Avaritia_90 Rated: PG Date Originally Posted: April 2, 2011 Ficcy Friday request with the prompt of a double date with Jeff/Annie Troy/Britta. Bonus points if it starts Jeff/Britta Troy/Annie and they wind up switching partners.

I Only Get It for the Articles by elsiesnuffin Rated: M Date Originally Posted: April 12, 2011 Troy brings 'Maxim' to class and chaos ensues when he finds Annie's picture in its pages.

Diffraction (x) by westwingwolf Rated: PG-13/T Date Originally Posted: April 21, 2011 Sequel to Exposure. Now that the group knows about Jeff and Annie, their concerns could have a disastrous effect on the relationship.

The Annie of It All by sowritesauds Rated: PG-13 Date Originally Posted: Apr 25, 2011 Ficcy Friday request to work some random quotes heard while people watching at the mall into a Jeff/Annie fic. This takes place during/after "Paradigms of Human Memory" and also includes some imaginary Jeff/Annie Missing Moments from other episodes.

It’s All About Location by rufeepeach Rated: M Date Originally Posted: Aug 31, 2011 - Sept 10, 2011 Sometimes things go right, and it's all soft beds, roses and champagne. But when have things ever gone right for Jeff and Annie?

one more time with feeling by fandrastic Rated: N/A (probably around G) Date Originally Posted: Sept 22, 2011 meaningless fluff, now enriched with second-person narrative pov! HOO-RAH!

The Bet (x) by wordybee Rated: PG-13/R/T Date Originally Posted: Oct 29, 2011 Jeff and Britta make a bet to see who can go the longest without sex. When Britta fears she'll lose to Jeff, she breaks out her secret weapon to tempt Jeff with: A Sexy Annie.

5 Cliches That Didn’t Lead to a Kiss and 1 That Did by sinecure Rated: PG-13 Date Originally Posted: Nov 4, 2011 to Dec 29, 2011 That title says it all.

Breathe Again by crittab Rated: M Date Originally Posted: Nov 7, 2011 When he'd fallen back on the couch not three minutes after dragging himself out of bed, Jeff realized he just didn't want to get back up again. So he didn't.

Entitled by crittab Rated: M Date Originally Posted: Nov 17, 2011 Jeff had always been one to make concessions when he wanted something he knew he shouldn't have.

Nightmares by hobbitgrl Rated: M Date Originally Posted: Nov 18-23, 2011 Sometimes Jeff still woke up with nightmares. These nightmares remind Jeff why he can never be with Annie. Rated M for smut, angsty smut, language, and very, very, very angsty dark Jeff. Seriously.

One Fine Day by gizzymoon Rated: M Date Originally Posted: Dec 18, 2011 - Mar 14, 2012 Annie puts a plan into motion that will make Jeff see her as an adult.

I’ve Been Everywhere with You by openhearts Rated: E Date Originally Posted: Dec 23, 2011 to July 28, 2013 (still unfinished) Written and set sometime after the aired canon of season 3, and assuming Annie has already turned 21.

Seismology by canadianiana Rated: NC-17 Date Originally Posted: Dec 28-30, 2011 From a ficcy Friday prompt in which Annie and Jeff get trapped during an earthquake.

Fallout by sinecure Rated: M Date Originally Posted: Dec 28, 2011 to Jan 9, 2012 After Annie's completely failed, and yet, successful, attempt at getting Jeff to join the Glee club with the rest of the group, Jeff takes home a souvenir. *spoilers for 3x10*

You Had the World Inside Your Hands (1 / 2) by xtiltawhirlx Rated: PG-13 Date Originally Posted: Jan 10-13, 2012 Jeff's father reappears and Annie helps him deal with it.

Advanced Genealogy by canadianiana Rated: T Date Originally Posted: Feb 6, 2012 From an M&M ficcy Friday prompt from tilie12, in which Jeff's mother shows up at Greendale unannounced, expecting to meet the girlfriend Jeff told her he had, named Annie.

Introduction to Human Ecology by canadianiana Rated: M Date Originally Posted: Feb 21, 2012 Posted for the M&M Valentine's Day exchange. The group deals with being around Jeff and Annie in their honeymoon phase. Fluff!

Jealousy and the Art of Self-Sacrifice (1/2/3) by rorge Rated: PG-13 Date Originally Posted: Started Feb 25, 2012 - April 22, 2012 Jeff becomes convinced that Annie and Abed are in a relationship, after witnessing their moments of closeness, and starts to avoid the group.

Bright Enough to Shine in Your Spaces by office_bluth Rated: PG-13 Date Originally Posted: Mar 18, 2012 Jeff and Annie have been spending more time together than people think. One scene per season three episode.

Rudimentary Behavioral Psychology by canadianiana Rated: PG-13 Date Originally Posted: Mar 30, 2012 Britta suspects something about Jeff, and isn’t happy about it. Entirely Britta’s POV.

Dear Journal by Crittab Rated: M Date Originally Posted: Apr 9, 2012 Following the pillow war, Annie finds herself once again displaced and ends up on Jeff's doorstep. He decides this is the perfect time to finally tell her how he feels. This is easier said than done when the study group gets involved.

Ain’t No Sunshine (When She’s Gone) (x) by wordybee Rated: PG-13/T Date Originally Posted: April 12, 2012 Annie goes on a road trip. Jeff is clueless and pining and clueless that he's pining.

Physiology of the Human Heart by elsiesnuffin Rated: M Date Originally Posted: April 13, 2012 The metamorphosis of Jeff and Annie's relationship.

Let Me by Crittab Rated: M Date Originally Posted: April 25, 2012 Jeff finds out that Annie has never had an orgasm and decides to change that.

It’s Always Open Season on Princesses by elsiesnuffin Rated: M Date Originally Posted: April 25 - July 9, 2012 Annie is given the opportunity to do some traveling over the summer after her second year at Greendale. Title is in reference to the film 'Roman Holiday'.

The Great Cell Phone Caper by sinecure Rated: M Date Originally Posted: May 13, 2012 Annie's cell phone gets locked away and she plans a break-in to retrieve it. Jeff catches on to her plans and goes to stop her, but gets roped into helping instead.

Advanced Studies in Leaps of Faith by crittab Rated: M Date Originally Posted: June 24, 2012 Five times Jeff and Annie spent the day together over the summer (and one time they spent the night).

Picking a Side by Crittab Rated: M Date Originally Posted: June 29, 2012 Inspired by a suitor of Abed's, Annie decides to send Jeff a risqué photo in hopes of persuading him to give her a shot.

Life Lessons in Absurdist Storytelling (1)(2) by oneofthemuses Rated: PG/PG-13 Date Originally Posed: July 7, 2012 (Crack!fic) Britta is turned into a penguin by a powerful witch. The spell will only be lifted once Britta helps Annie find her true love. (Spoilers: It's Jeff.)

Red Light, Green Light by dearygirl Rated: PG-13 Date Originally Posted: Nov 28, 2012 Post-Blanket Fort Collapse 2010

Heart, It Races by Rashaka Rated: M Date Originally Posted: Jan 29, 2013 Jeff has many adventures at an Inspector SpaceTime convention, and his curmudgeonly heart grows three sizes that day.

Advanced Planning for Adult Relationships by oneofthemuses Rated: M Date Originally Posted: Feb 23, 2013 "TFLN, (540): He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad."

Basic Principles of Romantic Inertia by oneofthemuses Rated: T Date Originally Posted: July 20, 2013 Five times Jeff and Annie are TOTALLY NOT ON A DATE, OK?? JEEZ! And one time they actually are.

The Night Is Still Ahead by wright_or_wrong Rated: M Date Originally Posted: Aug 14, 2013 "I could totally seduce you right now. No problem." She tilts her head thoughtfully. "Well, if I wanted to anyway."

All Five Dances by PepperF Rated: M Date Originally Posted: Jan 7, 2014 At their first-year dance, there was The Kiss. And then at the second-year dance, there was The Thing That Never Happened. And now it was their third-year dance…

it happens like this by stopthenrewind Rated: T Date Originally Posted: Feb 6, 2014 Annie's right. It did take him long enough.

turn the world upside down by stopthenrewind Rated: T Date Originally Posted: Dec 8, 2014 Seven different scenarios, seven different ways things could have gone. And yet, always the same girl.

While We Still Got Time by wright_or_wrong Rating: M Date Originally Posted: Dec 28, 2014 He's not a thirteen year old girl, so he doesn't think he can't live without her or anything as melodramatic as that - but he's come to realize that maybe he doesn't like his life as much without her in it. Post-S5

Click here for Part 1b

#jeff x annie #fanfic recommendations #fanfic

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