#is that better ihope so

[myiayse]

oomfs alsleep QUICK POST CHLOE MHYK !!!!!!!!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

helloooo my dearest darling listeners, i am back on my soapbox to regale you all with the marvelous things i witnessed/experienced on my Whimsical As Fuck™️ three hour drive today. not necessarily in order <3

some cute does with bigass floppy ears / very sweet waitress who called me "hon" and put the most tasty looking crepes on my table / a pair of hawks divebombing a golden eagle / a kite (the bird) / a flock of magpies / some GORGEOUS scenery / a rainbow / lovely rain sprinklings / MORE gorgeous scenery, i mean what the fuck / fields of purple/orange/red tipped bushes / a meadow of buttercup-yellow very tall grass, in which many picturesque trees stood / lots of fluffy, adorable, tasty cows / a large herd of likely-feral horses with a wonderful variety of patterns & colors / the fluffiest husky ever / the juxtaposition of cold wind through an open window + warm sunlight / the most stunning snow-coated mountain of whites and blues in the sun, wreathed in clouds / no seriously some really fucking Gorgeous scenery, i was near tears with some of it

[trainingdummyrabbit]

iam... sitting in m y chair again :]

[giverofempathy]

hi y'all i offically graduated today 🥹🤭💅🏻

[goldiipond]

video games die but ray tpn is forever. never forget this

[dullanyan]

went 2 a new restaurant today and it cost a lot of money and the food was just ok. contemplating explosion

[tojipie]

Please serve us your best dilf toji headcanons I am begging

warnings: nsfw, exhibitionism, anal, alc n weed

────────────────────────

sfw -

will use little placeholder names for you but gets all flustered when you do it back. he’ll call you things like pretty girl, little girl, sweet girl, etc. but as soon as you start firing back he gets embarrassed

works construction so he exclusively likes to wear a simple black tee and baggy jeans. a lot of the pieces he owns have singe marks and paint stains because he can never remember to put his work clothes in the wash in time :( he likes the look of it though.

doesn’t care that he’s older, like at all. he has an almost sickening amount of confidence in himself and quite honestly loves having a pretty little sweetheart on his arm.

loves cheap beer. always has a couple 6 packs stacked in the garage, and will usually pull you into his lap when you come to bring him one. it happens so often that the two of you now have this inside joke where you bringing him a beer means you’re initiating sex.

little bit of a temper in public but is working on it. is no stranger to road rage or picking fights with other men in public places. he got the two of you banned from ihop after he called one of the managers a cunt 🫡

bad cook! just terrible. it’s literally comical how incapable he is of making the simplest meals. he lived almost exclusively off of takeout before he met you and is still adjusting to eating at home more.

likes to eat out of the pot with u :,) thinks it’s romantic and will use his spoon to feed u bites from time to time.

is the type of smoker to say “i’ll quit when i want to” (he’s not going to quit). he tried shifting over to weed to get the buzz he needs but it fucks with his head before work so he just went back to his cigarettes. prefers marlboro reds! will blow the smoke in your face just to make you mad.

let’s you cut his hair! he thinks you do a better job than a barber ever would. when he needs a trim he’ll touch-up his undercut with an electric razor and have you shorten his fringe for him. you think he looks so cute sitting at the kitchen table with a towel wrapped around his shoulders.

will do different things while he rubs your back just to see your little reactions. he’ll run his nails down your spine, trace shapes into your skin, and give you little pats just to see you melt off to sleep.

nsfw -

lives for a good blowjob, no matter the place. will ask to get sucked off in the living room, in the drivers seat, on his breaks when you visit him at work. literally no shame when it comes to having his dick in your mouth.

cums fast and cums a lot. pretty fast recovery time and can definitely go multiple rounds. his favorite place to finish is on your face and lower stomach 🫶

wants to do anal but doesn’t really know how to go about bringing it up. the idea first piqued his interest after a friend told him about him and his wife trying it. he’s definitely curious about how tight you’d be around him, and would love to see your little gape :( he’s a sick man

definitely an ass man! lots to do with it, it’s natural that it’d be a favorite of his. loves how easy marks take on the skin there and is likely to leave a couple hickeys while ur doing it.

favorite position is doggy. boring ik :( but it’s a classic to him! he feels most comfortable gripping onto the fat just above your hips and pulling you back into his cock. he’ll either have you face down with a hand to the back of your neck, or use your shoulder as leverage to keep you upright while he pounds into you.

might have a genuine exhibition kink. you cannot visit the airport without going at least a round in the single stall bathroom. if the two of you can find a room with a lock, he’s gonna ask to fuck in it. that’s just how it is and there’s no changing him. had his way with you once in the gym showers, you still don’t know how he successfully snuck you in and out of there.

big on both degradation and praise, he knows how to balance them out well, following every “fucking slut” up with a equally devastating “but you take cock like a champ no?

big dick 🫡 need i elaborate. he likes to press down on your tummy while he fucks you to try and see where his tip is, he thinks it’s fucking hilarious.

[taergalive]

Even More Incorrect Radioapple Quotes to Fill the Void in My Heart

Lucifer: Can you please be serious for five minutes Alastor: My record is four, but I think I can do it -- Lucifer: I made tea. Alastor: I don’t want tea. Lucifer: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea. Alastor: Then why are you telling me? Lucifer: It is a conversation starter. Alastor: That’s a lousy conversation starter. Lucifer: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate. -- Lucifer, tending to Alastor's wounds from his fight with Adam: How would you rate your pain? Alastor: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend. -- Lucifer: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives Alastor: I wake up at 4:30 AM Lucifer: Lucifer: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives -- Lucifer: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back. Alastor: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself. -- Lucifer: I turned out perfectly fine! Alastor: Lucifer, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast Lucifer: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!! -- Lucifer: Can you keep a secret? Alastor: Do you know anything about my life? Lucifer: No I do not. Good point. -- Alastor: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody important. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground. Lucifer: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that. -- Lucifer: Hey Alastor, have you seen the reporter? Alastor: Nope. Have you seen the meat tenderizer? Lucifer, confused: What? Alastor, grabbing the meat tenderizer out of the drawer: No reason, cute girl things! -- Lucifer: Alastor and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us Charlie: * Sighing * What did Alastor do? Lucifer: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and... Alastor: Who wants a steering wheel? -- Lucifer: What time is it? Alastor: I don't know; pass me that saxophone and we'll find out Alastor: * Plays sax extremely loudly* Husk: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING?! Alastor: It's 2 am - Lucifer: I told Alastor his ears twitch when he lies. Charlie: Why? Lucifer: Look. Lucifer: Hey Alastor! Do you love us? Alastor, covering his ears: No! Charlie: -- Lucifer: Why are your tongues purple? Angel: We had slushies.I had a blue one. Husk: I had a red one. Lucifer: oh Lucifer: Lucifer: OH Alastor: Alastor: You drank each other's slushies? -- Alastor: Imagine being under 5’4’’ and thinking you have rights hahaha couldn’t be me. Lucifer: You wanna keep those kneecaps you better shut the fuck up! Alastor: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you from all the way down there, can you repeat that? Lucifer: I SAID FUCK YOU BITCH -- Lucifer: When are we gonna fuck? Alastor: What? Lucifer: Oh sorry autocorrect. When are we gonna hang out? Alastor: First of all, those two words aren't even close to each other. And second of all, this is a verbal conversation... -- Lucifer: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Alastor: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me. -- Lucifer: You have to apologize to them Alastor. Alastor: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

Legit not tryna drum up drama but whats your beef with demilypyro? I follow you both but i guees not for long enough to be in the know.

We have beef with Demily like iHop has steak. Yeah it's on the menu, but we're no porterhouse. That said-

She has awful takes about pretty much everything from games to social issues, suffers extreme pick-me-ism, is like two steps away from being an open transmedicalist, and she's just extremely annoying. She seemingly can't go a month without saying some offensive shit about her fellow transwomen or letting her dutch upbringing show. Whenever people bring up that she did or said something shitty she hides behind her autism even when it's not relevant and wouldn't excuse it if it was. Or in case of her saying something racist again, her grandfather being Moroccan or whatever, so she's technically poc so it's automatically fine. Just ignore the fact she's speaking over Black and Latin American people who have actually grown up as such.

On top of it all she often weaponizes her follower base, getting them to attack anyone who is unlucky enough to talk about shitty things she's done somewhere she sees. I won't mention their names, but users have gotten dogpiled and sent death threats cuz of her. She's just immensely toxic and is almost categorically allergic to growing as a person.

None of this is even getting into specific shitty things Demily has done, like making fun of the looks of other transwomen calling them 'it' and such, or her saying passing makes her better at being trans than a transwoman who doesn't pass, or the most recent thing where she puts a transgirl hook up on blast for having ED saying it's gross.

There's funnier trans streamers on this site who don't suck. There's funnier trans vtubers on this site who don't suck.

[sunshine-and-moonshine]

First Date

Requested: No

Warnings: None that I can think of

Ghost - Dinner

Ghost is very much a man who enjoys the simpler things like a nice hot meal. So of course a first date with him would be that exact thing. I’d say that he doesn’t like fancy restaurants but also that he wouldn’t be comfortable bringing you home for a first date. He’d meet somewhere in the middle with a middling reasutaunt. Not something as casual as IHop but not fancy fancy. He’ll dress nice but not too nice. A good pair of jeans, a clean t-shirt, though he only owns the one pair of muddied and scruffed up military boots.

He’s so nervous throughout it too, but it comes off as him anti-social or uninterested in you. Speaking only in quiet grunts and keeping his eyes away from you. If you’re the more sensitive type then your feelings are bound to get a bit hurt, but he’ll try to show you just how much he enjoyed your company afterwards. Brushing his fingers against yours as you both head out, quietly mumbling, asking you “same time next week?” with a little blush at the tips of his ears.

Soap - Movie

Soap immediately goes for the very sweet and simple approach of asking you on a date to the movies. He’d prefer an indoor theater but he’s definitely not opposed to a drive in. If you let him pick the movie then he’ll go for something cute, probably a cartoon or something. He seems like he’d like ones like Puss in Boots and Luca. But if you’d like to pick then he’s down to watch almost everything, though he draws the line at war movies. A war documentary might be fine. He dresses completely casual, prioritizing his own comfort over looking nice. Old jeans, old shirt, old boots. Completely honest to who he is, letting you get to know him.

He’s not too nervous throughout the whole time. Maybe a hint of it here and there when you get too quiet or you glance at him between scenes in the movie, your eyes catching his quietly before looking away. He might be a bit bold in asking to hold your hand on the way out, talking to you about your favorite parts of the movie or your favorite characters, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand the whole time he listens to your voice.

Alejandro - Home Date

A first date with Alejandro will be at a home, either his or yours, doesn’t matter to him. He’d prefer his place just because he plans on cooking for you, and even buys ice cream as a dessert. Between dinner and sweets he’ll set up games for you both to play while getting to know each other better by asking small and simple questions. It’s cozy and he doesn’t even mind if you start accidentally falling asleep, just setting you up in the guest room with a warm and cozy blanket, waking you up the next morning with the smell of a delicious breakfast.

He’s less shy than some of the others, and probably has already existed whether or not he’d like to keep pursuing you. He’ll probably suggest lunch next, that same day of course! You’re already staying for breakfast, what’s one more meal? But of course, now you’ve stayed over half the day with him, why not just have dinner with him again? It’s a vicious cycle, one that will be almost impossible to break, especially when he starts to sweet talk you, already pressing hot and heavy kisses to your cheeks and throat, holding you close between him and a wall when you tell him you have to leave. Come on, just stay five more minutes? You won’t regret it!

König - Picnic

A picnic in a nice open field is the perfect first date for König. No crowds to overwhelm him and he’s not expected to be paying too much attention to anything but you and the food. He’ll dress nicely for the occasion, a nice shirt and boots but his jeans will be a bit old and worn because he didn’t want to ruin a nice pair since you’d both be sitting on the ground, granted with a nice blanket under you and the food that he packed. He’d probably focused more on the main course over the snack parts, things like sandwiches and side dishes. Maybe a bag of crisps he thought you might like.

Afterwards he’ll be so shy, asking you if you’d like to go on a second date while he holds the blanket and basket close to his chest as he waits for your answer, his face completely red when you agree, a small and cute smile stretching his cheeks for the rest of the week, accompanied by a dreamy look in his eyes.

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 12

PREVIOUS

If there was one thing no one would ever guess about FF it is that he unapologetically LOVES Black Friday.

You may be thinking. Ugh Black Friday. Everyone is so rude and tired. The deals aren’t even that good. It can turn into a blood sport at the drop of a hat over a toaster that is 15% off.

You are correct.

That is why FF loves it.

It is the one shopping day of the year where every single one of his instincts are correct, valid, and useful. He has pulled his gran out of the way of elbow drops, he has avoided the gaze of a woman in PINK sweat pants who was looking for someone to steal a blender from, and he knows without a doubt that the cashier hates him already so there’s no need to worry about whether or not they hate him.

It’s like a breath of fresh air!

Everyone is just as antagonistic and awful as he thinks they are!

Shopping is actually the blood sport he always feels like it is!

So there he is standing in a line at the nearest store (Target) waiting to be let in with the masses who all look ready to stab one another for better positioning for a TV. The jokes on them though because his only goal is the grocery section and he deals with the threat of repeated stabbings for BREAKFAST.

He spots an IHOP in the distance and hopes his gran doesn’t feel too lonely. They’ve gotten buttermilk stacks together at the IHOP by the mall for years after the two of them finished Christmas Shopping.

Someone elbows him in the side to get his spot in line but FF does not really care. Again, he doubts any of these people are going to be racing him to the all purpose flour.

It’s 4 AM and the barricades come down.

There’s a rush of people pushing and shoving but FF just steps to the side and watches as they all rush in. He’d mostly stayed in the line because the throng of people made it easier to stay warm. He had left his jacket back at the house because the five hour energy might be making his skin feel super sensitive but he is pretty sure that if he wore his nylon jacket he would die.

The five hour energy also may be upping his anxiety just a little bit.

He walks into the store at a leisurely pace and while the crowd fights over the carts he grabs one of the baskets. He can feel the eyes of other shoppers all wondering if he has some insider knowledge on a good deal that would only require the basket or if it’s a matter of who gets to the back to receive the ‘redeem’ coupon.

He sees a few shoppers get lured in by his siren call and much like a siren following anything that FF is about to do will undoubtedly lead to their downfall.

But FF doesn’t care about that.

He cares about HIS downfall.

So he makes his way to the grocery section and ignores the six different shopping assistants who try and guide him to where he ‘should’ be shopping and each of them only give him increasingly confused looks when he states his intention to go to the grocery section every single time.

Is it easier to ignore their stares when the five hour energy have set his baseline heart rate to something that might be too fast to register as a heartbeat? Maybe.

It is easier to ignore the confusion on their faces when he can see both the past (he asked for TWO favors from Andrew in one day how is he still alive???) and the future (still malleable at the moment apparently. There’s even a future where Andrew actually just is trying to make overtures of friendship but he dismisses that one as INCREDIBLY unlikely and looks at the far more viable one where Andrew at least makes his death quick while he enjoys his great gran’s brownies.)

It’s good to set reasonable goals for yourself.

So he arrives at the grocery section which is deserted aside from one employee who may or may not be asleep against a shelf. FF looks and….not a shelf he needs so he is not about to wake that poor man up.

So he gets everything he needs for his great gran’s brownies (he’s trying to buy his life here so he is not about to assume he can use ANYTHING in the house), the ingredients for a good breakfast (because he really needs to eat something that is not a five hour energy or sugar for the sake of his poor stomach and he may as well get enough for everyone), and (since Captain Neil mentioned it & he is trying to buy his life here) the ingredients to bake another pie.

While he grabs cinnamon he checks to see if they have grandma’s love in stock but, alas, it continues to be unavailable commercially.

He stares at the whipped cream for so long that the employee asleep in the other aisle woke up and asked if he needed help and, startled, he dropped it in his basket. “No I’m good.” He says before power walking out of the grocery department and deciding to brave the Home Goods section to buy some incense so that he can hopefully channel the spirit of his great gran to assist him in this, the darkest of his baking hours.

He arrives at the check out stations and finds the shortest line .

He can feel eyes on him, inspecting his purchases, judging them, judging him, who the fuck goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush?

FF.

FF goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush.

The cashier looks for hidden cameras but FF has no such thing accompanying him today or ever (as far as he knows.)

After a moment the cashier must look at the ever growing line and decide that whatever scheme they think FF is up to isn’t worth trying to figure out. They offer a membership card, FF valiantly declines to get one despite the two attempts.

He is out the door with four bags of groceries that all have a target on them that feels a little too correct. It’s 6 AM now (he really did lose a lot of time at the whipped cream section) and he’s walking back to the house in Columbia.

He actually feels a little bit better since he at least got to experience his actual favorite blood sport (sorry Exy) and he even got another 2 five hour energies while he was in the check out line so he could replace some of the ones that he had gone through.

“Smith?”

He would like to thank the combined weight of the groceries for keeping his feet on the ground when he heard Captain Neil’s voice.

He turns and Captain Neil is looking at him wide-eyed in his running gear that Smith has seen him in. “You were shopping??” He asks.

FF nods and lifts up the four bags as evidence. “Why didn’t you pick up your phone?” He asks.

FF almost scoffs but he doesn’t, “You can’t be distracted when you’re in a Target on Black Friday. That’s how you take an elbow to the eye.” He responds because it’s like Captain Neil has never experienced the WWE-like environment of Black Friday shopping.

Captain Neil blinks at him.

“Text Andrew or me next time you’re going to go off into the night or just let us know beforehand. Andrew would have driven you.” Captain Neil says and grabs two of the bags out of FF’s hand. “C’mon let’s get back and maybe you can get some sleep.” Captain Neil sighs.

“I’m fine.” FF adjusts the bags so he has one in each hand.

Captain Neil does not say anything so FF assumes that he has accepted that.

***

FF had not been asleep on the couch when Neil had walked through the living room. Neil, in a move that had Andrew fully waking up, went back to the room to check his phone to see if FF had texted him an update on going out. All that greets Neil is the impersonal series of texts that mostly confirmed when practice times had been changed, when the bus was leaving, and spelling on various Spanish words.

FF isn’t a big text person.

He’s more of an in-person kind of friend.

Neil likes that about him most of the time.

“What.” Andrew asks face still half buried in Neil’s pillow.

“Smith isn’t on the couch.”

That has Andrew getting up despite the early hour and their activities the night before. Neil watches as Andrew grabs his own phone to scroll through but seems to come up with the same lack of communication that Neil does.

Andrew does do the extra step and hit the call button.

But all he gets is the confirmation that the VM has not been configured that has greeted them every time FF misses their calls. (Voicemails make FF anxious so when he got his new phone he just…never configured it.)

Neil knew that FF was not pleased with them and somehow the calm request to either stop fooling around or let him out had hit him and Andrew harder than any of the screaming demands that the two of them were usually met with from Nicky, Kevin, Aaron, or any of the other Foxes.

“You said he wasn’t mad.” Neil says.

“He nodded.” Andrew confirms.

“Maybe he went on a walk?” Neil tries as they come out to the living room. They look at the front door and find that it’s locked but it looks like Aaron’s keys are gone. “He probably is going to come back if he took Aaron’s keys since Aaron wouldn’t be the one he’d be irritated with.” Neil rationalizes.

“He didn’t bring his jacket.” Andrew says looking at the black jacket still on the hook by the door.

“We can go and see if we spot him.” Neil offers.

Andrew nods and Neil heads out first since Andrew is still in his sleeping clothes and will need some time.

Neil had not expected to find FF walking back to the house with groceries for breakfast and the pie that Neil had mentioned hoping they could bake at the house.

“Is this for the pie?” He asks looking down at what was in the bags he was carrying as the walked back to the house. Neil managed to shoot off a quick text letting Andrew know that it was fine, FF just went grocery shopping.

FF just nods, “Got everything but Grandma’s love.” He says.

FF is a nice guy to brave the stores on a morning like this but FF also looks like he hasn’t slept a wink.

“Did you sleep at all last night?” Neil asks.

“I’m fine.” FF repeats.

Neil really is starting to understand his friends’ hatred for the phrase.

They get back to the house and Andrew is sat out in the living room. FF stops and blinks at the sight of him sitting there.

It is a well-known fact that Andrew does not willingly wake up early most days unless he has to. Neil is glad that Andrew has a friend that he’s coming to care about the way Andrew cares about FF.

Andrew gets up and yanks the bags out of FF’s hands. “Go to sleep. Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.” He says with a scowl and walks to the kitchen to put away the groceries FF had bought.

FF just looks at where Andrew had gone uncomprehendingly for a few moments and Neil figures he’s just tired. Neil feels guilty that him and Andrew messing around in the car like that had rendered FF unable to sleep and the two of them had agreed last night that from now on when FF is in the car they can talk all they want but hands stay on the wheel and eyes stay on the road.

FF is plopped down on the couch when Andrew and Neil come out of the kitchen after putting away the groceries (“These are the ingredients for brownies.” Andrew had noted as he put away melting chocolate.) and he’s looking through his flashcards again and not sleeping. He hears Andrew make a disgusted noise next to him and the next thing he knows Andrew is smacking the cards out of FF’s hands.

“Go. To. Sleep.” Andrew enunciates.

FF stares at him, then down at the flashcards. “I don’t think I can.” He says which is better than him lying and saying he wasn’t tired even if the truth had Andrew’s mouth stretch into a thin line that meant he was beating himself up for something.

“Try.” Andrew orders. “Just lay down and close your eyes. Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” He says.

FF blinks but nods turning on the couch and laying down. The blanket is still over on the lazy boy that Neil had set it on the night before and Andrew rolls his eyes before grabbing it and tossing it over FF.

“Thanks.” FF says before closing his eyes.

Neil looks to Andrew who nods and Neil accepts that there’s nothing else to be done for now and heads out on his run.

***

FF can admit that he’s a bit adrift in what Andrew and Captain Neil are doing right now.

He really should go grab another five hour energy because falling asleep IN FRONT of an irritated Andrew Minyard feels like a death sentence but “Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” And having a blanket thrown over him did not feel like a threat even if he can feel Andrew’s eyes watching him.

FF is tired and when he’s tired he tends to make stupid decisions. So FF lets himself drift off to sleep while the man who was likely going to move him to a secondary location sat and watched.

His dreams are not peaceful.

He’s running, can’t escape, an echo of words he should have considered before letting himself drift off and he knows he’s going to DIE.

He wakes up with a start to the smell of bacon, eggs, and hashed browns with Nicky standing over him. “Hey there sleeping beauty! I made you a plate!” He says and hands FF a plate of breakfast that smiles up at him with a bacon mouth, egg eyes, and hashed brown hair.

FF takes the plate and digs in immediately. He needs his strength.

“Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.”

Andrew Minyard was going to hunt him for SPORT.

NEXT

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As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly? (Cheesecookie whatever you did let me actually select you this time)

[mulderscully]

mother's day when you have a dead mother is almost like a liminal space. everywhere i see reminders to buy my dead mother something nice. reminders to tell her i love her. reminders to spent time with her. gifts for mom. things to do with mom. and like: do i still have a mom? she's been gone half my life now. she gets farther and farther from me every day that passes. sometimes i worry that i think of her as more of a god than a person now, that i make her better than she was in my memory. i miss her every day, but i'm so used to it that i don't know who i am without it. i forget other people don't live like this until mother's day. i'd do anything for another day with her, another trip to ihop, another drive to the beach, another movie, but no amount of emails and pink signs make this possible.

[jackhues]

(mockingbird au!) graduation - platonic!hughes

request: for the mockingbird au maybe something where the reader graduates college and her *actual* parents aren’t there but the hughes family is 

requested by: anon : )

notes: continue sending in requests for the au! check out the request rules below! thanks for requesting <3

likes are good, reblogs are better <3

mockingbird! au request rules!

tags: @woodruff-edwards , @austinbutlerscaresme , @svechnikovvv ,  @hockeyboysarehot , @emptyflowerpots , @mysticaldonkey ,  @lam-ila ,  @babydollmarauders , @starjoyyy , @kjohnson-91  , @gavinbrindley, @hischierdevils , @jackhughesily , @panarin10 , @equallyshaw , @power2myheart , @lynnismypseudonym , @beccaiscold , @akengii , @nowandkei , @cinnamonpancakes ,  @mitchymainer ,  @lifeofpriya , @marshmallow-babe, @hughesx3 , @emsully2002  ,  @starsandhughes , @huggy-hischier73 ,  @doglady5678 , @thatoneblog , @exonct07 @hughesmedicine , @qwanelledingele , @mindless-rock , @ireadthensuetheauthors , @huggy-hischier94, @slaythehousedownboots , @diary-of-jj

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gif not mine!

“i can’t wait to go to ihop after this,” em, one of your friends muttered, playing with her graduation gown.

sleepless nights, random breakdowns, and four long years had finally led to this moment. your graduation.

you were excited to walk across the stage and receive your diploma, but you couldn’t hide the nerves you were feeling as well. school was one of the fixed points in your life, and you weren’t sure how you felt leaving it behind forever.

“your parents are taking you?” you asked em, fixing your attention on your friend. 

“yeah, it’s a tradition,” she nodded. “my parents take me and my entire family out to ihop whenever anyone graduates. max started it, but my parents continued it for the rest of us.”

you grinned at the mention of em’s family. her oldest brother, max, was a teacher and ten years older than em. her youngest sister, julie, was five years younger than em and still had one year of high school left. 

unlike you, em had a lot of siblings, and most of them were really close with each other. it was weird that you became best friends with someone who grew up with an almost entirely opposite lifestyle, but it worked out.

“are your parents coming?” em asked, the two of you walking ahead as the names of students in front of you were called.

“ellen and jim are here,” you smiled. “jack’s with them, somewhere in the crowd. i didn’t get a chance to look for them yet.”

em knew you well enough not to ask about your biological parents. after a long discussion with her, you decided not to invite them.

em nodded, “and luke and quinn? they’re coming too, or no?”

“i have no idea,” you answered honestly. “there was a skate today, and jack skipped that to be here. and last i checked, quinn was in florida for something so i don’t know if he’ll make it. but he called last night, so it’s okay.”

em grinned, the two of you taking more steps ahead. she looked over the top of your head, her eyes finding someone else in the crowd, “well, i think he did make it.”

“what?”

you turned around immediately, searching over the tops of people's heads to see a group of people waving in your direction.

ellen and jim were in their chairs, waving at you, the former blowing you a kiss while the latter gave you a thumbs up. next to them, luke, jack and quinn sat in their seats, waving and mouthing encouragement (which you couldn’t make out because you were horrible at reading lips).

jack signed ‘i love you’, a phrase you taught him years ago. you signed it back, smiling widely. 

“this is so cute,” em gushed. “but it’s almost our turn. get ready.”

you looked ahead, surprised to see it was only em left in front of you in the line. her name was called, and she squeezed your hand quickly before walking across the stage to receive her diploma. her family cheered in the background.

“y/n, y/l/n,” your name was announced.

you heard the familiar voices of the three hughes boys, cheering you on and hyping you up.

sure, your biological mom and dad weren’t here, but that’s okay. because those boys were here, ellen and jim were here, and they were supporting you. 

it’s okay that your biological parents weren’t here, because your family was here.

you shook the principal’s hand, receiving your diploma all while your family cheered you on.

[schoenht]

↳ denny’s at 3 am

characters: octotrio.

genre: crack.

a/n: thank god for denny’s for the inspiration ong i’ve seen insane stuff from there and also this follows no rules. you will read this and it will make sense.

“Okay, you three, listen up.”

“Yeah, hold on, octopus, I’m beating Floyd’s ass at table football right now and he’s about to take on my extra shift tomorrow if I win.”

Azul groaned, his fingers pressing the bridge of his glasses against his nose. From the pressure, he guessed that he was going to have a mark there once he took them off. He was your boss and yet sometimes he wondered if you weren’t actually the boss. Maybe he was too lenient. Either way, it was more often than not that you and Floyd would quite literally be a menace to the customers based on your “friendly” competitions.

Out of all your competitions, the most friendly one was when Floyd resulted in almost pouring hot oil over you and you had quickly grabbed a pan to hit the back of his head. Meanwhile, Jade had been outside collecting mushrooms. He came back to see you and Floyd doing a strange dance with angry looks on your faces, knives in your hands, and Azul almost crying out of exasperation and desperation.

Nevertheless, the competition had not escalated that far. It was merely 8 pm, though. Azul guessed that, if anything, it could only get worse from here. He tensed up when he heard Floyd’s loud groan, followed by a large smack on the table.

“I win! Hope that thump didn’t hurt your brain, if you have any bits left in there.” You were snickering as you flicked Floyd’s head. His strand of black hair was lying on the table, so you merely pressed your fingers to it. When he tried to get his head off the table, he was stopped abruptly and he glared at you. 

“Shrimpy, this is your last warning.”

“My first one, you mean. You’re covering my shift tomorrow, you little shit.”

“But I don’t wanna!” Floyd whined, turning to Azul. “Tell them I don’t wanna!”

Jade appeared from behind Azul, almost ghostlike. “Oh? I hear conflict.”

“Yeah, conflict because your brother doesn’t want to admit he lost for once and he’s not as good as he claims to be. How are you going to be a basketball player and lose at table football?” You were leaning against the plush seat, your arms crossed. “Anyways, what’s up, Azul? Do you need us to knock out a customer again?”

Floyd perked up. “Oh, oh, yeah! Last time it was a surly man with his best friends, maaaaaan, Y/N and I had the time of our lives! That baking sheet was genius!”

“This is why I’m the brains of the group.” You and Floyd high fived, chortling as though Azul wasn’t standing there, in disbelief at the both of you. 

Jade cleared his throat. “Starting today, we stay open 24 hours.”

Incredulously, you whipped around to look at Azul. “If this is a joke, it’s not a funny one, I’ve got a better one for you, Mr. Business Man. What’s funnier than 24?”

Azul had to take a deep breath in. “What.”

“25.” You and Floyd were howling with laughter, sharing yet another high five with a fist bump. Catching your breath, you grinned. “You can’t be serious. We are not staying up for 24 hours.”

He pushed his glasses up, fixing his hat while he was at it. “Your sleeping habits alone are training. You tend to pull all-nighters--”

“Excuse me, being a Discord kitten is hard work. You can’t possibly expect me to count on money here--”

“You are an employee. I expect you to conduct yourself as such.”

You rolled your eyes, huffing. “What does this look like, a Denny’s?”

“YES. Where do you think you’re employed at?!”

“I dunno, IHOP?”

It was like the devil had appeared. Jade’s usual calm face was replaced by his eyes wide and even Floyd winced. IHOP was your rival and it was worse since it was right across the street. The manager was known to arrive just to get on Azul’s last nerve. Azul literally made you sign a contract saying that you and Floyd would be on your best behavior, lest you wind up tap-dancing for three days straight without stopping. You had learned that the hard way.

Even now, you realized you went too far. And that was why you were in the kitchen, fuming with a spatula in your hand, a chef hat, and a neon pink apron that said “Kiss the Cook” across the top part. “Stupid Azul with his stupid...” You were cursing under your breath and the colorful language was enough to make Jade chuckle as he walked in.

“Still grumbling? It’s been weeks since that incident.”

“I look stupid, Jade. And don’t you dare say--” Using a high pitched voice that sounded nothing like him, you said, “’Shouldn’t have brought up the Interdimensional Hut of Pasta, then.’”

“The International House of Pancakes is international for a reason, we can’t possibly compete with them.” Jade had a bag slung over his shoulder and subtly, he looked over his shoulder. “All right Y/n, cover for me, I’m going to go outside and get some mushrooms.”

You made a face at him. “Jade, for the last time, you are not going to be the chef no matter how much you beg Azul.”

“Hear me out--”

“Sorry, can’t hear you over this pancake which I’m sure is trademarked by IHOP. I mean, why are we making pancakes? We’re Denny’s! Shouldn’t we be, you know, making Denny’s?” 

Jade deadpanned at you and it took all your effort not to falter because even you knew what you said did not make sense. However, if you could muster up enough fake confidence, maybe you could have him believe it-- “Try again. Ensure Floyd does not eat all the potatoes raw, he tends to do that. And next time, make sure to come up with something that makes sense. It has to be good.”

“That’s what your mom told me last night.” You knew you were running in dangerous territory, but you were covering for Jade. He could not, unfortunately, tell you anything in response. If he said anything, it was more than likely that you would go running to Azul and snitch on his mushrooms in order to gain some sense of dignity back. By dignity, he meant the confiscation of your neon pink apron.

“The pink really brings out your eyes, I’m sure Azul would not mind if you kept it a little longer.” Jade may have looked like the calmer twin, but he had a way of getting on your nerves. He was even snickering under his breath as the door shut behind him.

Meanwhile, Floyd had just arrived in the kitchen. “Shrimpy!”

“If you keep calling me that, I swear to God, I’m going to find out how fried eel tastes.”

“That’s cannibalism, you can’t do that.”

“It’s Denny’s. There was literally a fight outside over a plate of our pancakes.” You flipped one with your spatula, still grumbling over the stupid apron you were wearing. “Besides, business is slow. And ever since Azul said, ‘You guys are working for 24 hours because I hate you--’“

“I’m pretty sure that’s not what he said.”

“How dare you interrupt me. Anyways, I haven’t had time for anything!”

Jade had walked back into the kitchen. It seemed as though, no matter how far he went, he came racing back when he heard you complaining just to tease you more and make your life even more miserable. Sure enough, he practically waltzed through the door and said, “Oh? Well, can we interest you in a truce?”

“Over my dead body. Now if you’ll excuse me, it is my break.”

It seemed as though you had disappeared completely. Floyd had to watch Jade and prevent him from putting mushrooms in the food as he cooked. Then he frowned, looking up. Something was off and it was not the red colored vegetables that Jade continuously kept trying to put in. “It’s been more than ten minutes.”

“Ten minutes and how many seconds?”

“One--”

Azul slammed open the kitchen door, his glasses outrageously bright as if he was a horror movie villain. “Why has no one served the customer at Table 18?”

“Huhhhh?” Floyd dragged out his whine, his head thrown back. “I’m tired of this, boss! It’s so late!”

“Even if it’s late, we will still give the customers good service, just as they expect!”

Jade mumbled, “I do not believe they expect much from us as a Denny’s.”

Azul ignored that statement, knowing full well it was your influence that was latching onto the tweels. “Where’s Y/N? It’s been 10 minutes and 15 seconds. Floyd, there’s literally a customer at that table.”

“That ain’t a customer, boss, that’s Y/N having their nightly 3 am crisis.” Floyd was thoughtful for a few seconds. “Do you think they want pancake puppies?”

Then Azul’s eyes widened as he looked out the window. A familiar shadow was heading their way. It was the enemy that he had not wanted to see for the longest time. Perhaps, in another world, he would have wanted to make an alliance with this person. But after being rejected multiple times and overthrown, he had no choice but to become their enemy.

Jamil Viper, the manager of IHOP.

Azul almost screeched. “Y/N, GET UP! GET UP!”

“Azul, I am literally--” Your eyes widened as you followed the trail of where his went. “Is that--”

With a flourish and tossing of his own hat, Azul replaced his hat with a cooler one and put on his jacket as if trying to complete that magical girl transformation in real life, only watered down and looking cheap. He turned to the tweels. “You know what to do. Y/N, over here.”

“Boss! It’s 3 am!”

“MEN, PREPARE FOR BATTLE. TO YOUR BATTLE STATIONS!”

[vargskelegore]

heyoo!! could we get a fic where transfer student!shuri realizes u mostly eat struggle meals like ramen n the occasional hamburger helper n since you feel bad abt her taking you out to eat a decent meal everyday she learns how to cook w you 💪🏾

author's note: NO BECAUSE THIS IDEA IS SOOOO CUTE. i'm always eating a damn struggle meal so this is relatable af. ramen gang for the win tho.

cake boss, who? - hbcu!shuri x black!reader

requests: open to headcanons & imagines!

on campus, for lunch, you usually ate ramen. no, not maruchan-- that shit was below your standards. nongshim. the more superior budget ramen. although, even that shit wasn’t really healthy for you.

it was a common experience-- being a college student and being broke since you were either unemployed, or your job paid so bad you might as well be unemployed.

you were lucky that sometimes your rich roommate would pay for you to eat because she wanted to- but since she was always gone, going on dates with random dudes on campus, it wasn’t often you ate something she got you.

honestly, shuri took you out to eat more times than you could count (AS FRIENDS.... i guess?), but you felt really bad about taking her money and food all the time. it wasn’t like they were michelin star restaurants, just stuff like ihop, waffle house, panera bread.. they were luxury to you, though.

on one of the days you were cooking shin ramyun, there was a familiar knock on your door. shuri. shuri developed this knock based off of drum beats they would do back in her home country, and it was something she did on your door to remind herself of home, and also let you know her arrival.

“the door is open!” you called out, attempting to keep the amount of smoke down because if you even had it float a little too high, that alarm was gonna get you, and your cooking in the dorm days would be over.

as soon as shuri walked in, she could smell you cooking the same thing, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms.

“every time i walk in here, not only are you cooking, it’s always that high sodium trash.” shuri looked around the room as she walked inside.

“yeah well, it’s at the local neighborhood walmart, and it’s like six bucks for a pack of them.” you shrugged as you pushed the noodles around with your chopsticks.

“..is the meals i get you not enough?” there was a hint of panic in shuri’s voice -- one thing about her was that she always tried hard, but for you, she went beyond that. she wasn’t exactly sure why she was like that.

noticing what shuri said, you cut her off so quick. “no! i love the places you take me, but.. i don’t want you to spend money on me like that..” your voice got quiet at the end, and that’s when shuri walked over to you, staring down at you.

“nonsense, it’s barely anything.. i’m willing to spend enough to keep you well fed. i think it’s stupid how american university tuition just uses up so much money that you have to live off of cheaply made factory food.” shuri could go on a rant about this, and you could tell she had been bottling that opinion up for a while.

“i don’t disagree, but this is my life, shuri.” you sighed in defeat as you turned around to drain the water.

shuri got directly behind you, hands in her pockets. when you turned back around, you were met with her being right in front of you.

“then let me try something different. let’s cook together.” there was hope in her voice as she stared down at you. your hand, which was being occupied by your ramen pot, slightly began shaking.

“i, uh..”

“please? i think you can make a good meal without using so much money, if that’s what you’re worried about.” her voice was gentle, and god, how could you say no to that voice? hell, it was practically begging.

after a moment of silence, you nodded.

shuri’s face lit up as she took the pot from your hand, pouring the sauceless noodles into the trash. you were a bit shocked that she did that so quickly.

“shuri, that was my lunch--!”

“hush, we’re gonna make a better lunch together.”

ever since that moment, you two started making food together. learning how to cook cheap and tasty food was a bit of a challenge, but you both managed to deal with it.

you two made everything together. pasta, soup, fancy ass sandwiches, and so much more. for you, seeing shuri in an apron when you guys were baking was the cutest thing ever.

powder all over her face, squealing when a certain ingredient got all over her. it was adorable and it melted your heart.

there was nothing more you enjoyed than the company of shuri.

on one of the days you two were baking, you both decided to bake a cake this time. nobody told y'all it would take a while, but honestly, that was probably because you two were goofing off instead of baking which made it take longer.

as you were mixing the buttercream frosting mixture together, shuri sighed in annoyance.

"crap, i forgot my phone.. i'm gonna go get it, i'll be right back. don't eat the frosting. i'm serious."

you held your hands up in surrender before nodding. mentally you were smirking, because you were gonna eat it anyway.

as soon as she left, you waited about 20 seconds before sticking your finger into the bowl and taking a taste.

a few tastes turned into more tastes. and more. but it wasn't enough to make it look like it wasn't enough for icing.

as soon as you could hear shuri coming back, you immediately went back to mixing, whistling a bit as you didn't acknowledge her presence out of guilt of eating it.

"..y/n? i'm back." shuri raised an eyebrow at you as she walked back over to where she originally was.

you hummed before muttering out a quick "hi." and went back to doing what you were doing.

shuri, being the suspicious person she was, crossed her arms and just stared at you. you could feel her stare but you tried so hard to make it seem like you didn't care.

"y/n. turn around for me, real quick?"

"but i'm mixing.. i can't get distracted." you lied, realizing your once rhythm on mixing suddenly became very irregular.

shuri didn't say a word before pulling you from the mixing station and over to where she was standing. you tried covering your face, but she was quick to make you uncover.

that's when she saw it.

she brought a thumb to your face, wiping off something on the corner of your mouth, and licking it off her own thumb.

"that tastes really good, but damn, y/n, you could've lied a little better, no?" it was icing. she had a teasing grin on her face as she watched you become visibly embarrassed. all she could do was laugh as she went to grab the frosting and begin icing the cake.

you were stunned, to say the least. what were you gonna do with this girl?

[carpememes]

10 Minute Power Hour Starters

"You gotta warn me because I was just about to yell 'Remember who made you cum?' and how embarrassing would that shit have been?"

"We've got ____ here. Can you believe it?"

"Alright, shut the fuck up, everybody."

"No, not the stegosaurus!"

"Oh! We're giving samples. I've done this before."

"Can you Urkel your way to a win?"

"I don't love this."

"Glug glug glug, now I'm drunk."

"WOO! Show us how it's done, baby!"

"It's what all the kids on youtube are doing."

"Where is this piece? Did you steal my piece?"

"Bro, I'm killing it."

"Am I right, the youth?"

"You didn't even savor the peelies."

"You just ripped it off like a barbarian."

"Sizzle sizzle, baby bitch."

"It's gonna be really dramatic and cool!"

"I don't want a pumpkin growing in my belly."

"What a fool he is, to get wood confused with food items."

"I told my mom to help me clean it up and she said 'no thank you'."

"___ said I look like the floor of an arcade."

"My heart is beating so fast right now."

"Spin the wheel, you bitch."

"We're visible to lots of people, but it feels great to be truly seen by someone special."

"Well, not like my BEST best friend but he's definitely in that class."

"That's too much plastic crap."

"You look like something they'd serve at 2 in the morning at iHop."

"I feel like i just came back from a mythical creature bukake."

"This is what the ladies are into. A big ol brain horn of goo."

"I'm an ex-man. Which means I used to be a man."

"Yeah you won. Everyone's great. Three people need to go to the hospital but hooray you won."

"Thanks for invalidating my win, dude. I worked hard for this."

"You popped which means you are legally obligated to not stop."

"Please. No laughter."

"I feel you should've said something."

"I has bro! Do you has bro??"

"Well, I think you get double points for that."

"You got a serious buttchin and you need to admit it and use it!"

"YOU DID THIS!"

"We're losin it. We're losin it! ___, we're losin it!"

"This shirt's better now."

"No don't! ___, fucking, god damn it!"

"That was the most legit anger I've heard out of you in so long."

"Why is it filled with chestnuts?! And a lemon!"

"Thanks for celebrating my birthday. This was really fun and not depressing."

"Hold on! I have to do some research."

"Jesus. Reginald. Christ."

"You did it! It's a nightmare."

"What do you think? You think i look sexy?"

"Am i out kissin vandals and vagrants?!"

"Imagine I'm rubbing your thighs."

"I'm going to open a tube of goo now."

"You're a sucky friend!"

"I'm doing all of the colors, you fuck!"

"I know what makes green! Magic and jesus!"

"Oh cool! It looks not that great!"

"It looks like somebody's pancreas exploded over here."

"Anyone wanna be on camera?"

"Drink it, you armadillo."

"Have you witnessed me?"

"Ew, ewww- EEEWWW!"

"Nooo, I don't wanna be the hulk anymore."

"There we go. That's a big boy."

"Are you gonna attack or are you too scared?"

"Admittedly you wield a lot of power that I was not aware of."

"It makes magic fun!"

"That's not what I wanted at all."

"I feel like a cat that just fell in the bathtub."

"YES! Eat the worms!"

"Early 2000s is retro?"

"What is the best time of day to shake a baby?"

"Oh no! It's making the connection that I'm it's mother!"

"We dont have all day. Im becoming sterile wearing these jock straps."

"So you can stick your little emoji faces in here when you write your diary about how much God has betrayed you."

"That is one of the worst shirts I've seen in my life. Put it on."

"What? Oh, I suppose you want to KISS about it?!"

"I dunno. I guess cuz I'm an asshole."

"What do you mean 'is that really what it looks like'? It looks magical!"

"In this world we must all tilt.... But we also a-whirl."

"Look around you. All you see is death and chaos... Here is a kirby."

"Every birthday is like the grim reaper moving one peg on the abacus of your life."

"Everytime I try to solve it i'm just making things worse. Which is just an analogy for my life."

"I was brewin' in the nutsack of an older man."

"It was like having Chuck-e-cheese right in your house."

"The ooze doesn't smell great."

"Parents killed each other to get this thing."

"I threw up a lot more in the 90s than I do now."

"It's about to erase your memory."

"____, Im so sorry, but there's something your mother and I have to tell you."

"It's not your fault! Don't ever think it's your fault!"