#is this how you are supposed to live?
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When you listen to my thoughts, what do you see?
reality
#cyberspace#goodnight#reality#am i good enough#am i doing this right?#is this how you are supposed to live?#idk but i’ll figure it out#behind the curtain
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shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this
#and by 'everyone' i mean me. im just hoping other people relate lmao#someone asks me about a thing i like and im just like h..................#been thinking about The Character for a solid 6 months+ and let me tell you. expldoeing soon#this is about ffxv btw . how am i supposed to say how much it lives in my brain . i cant think#text#1k#5k#10k#15k#20k#great googly moogly#30k#40k#50k#60k#boooy what da heeel#70k#80k#90k#will this be my first ever post to hit 100k... it remains to be seen#good lord. we did it#100k
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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Warning: this is so dumb.
Buuuut Simon Riley in an established long-term relationship likes to touch you, I just know it. Holding hands is good, arms are fine, legs even better, but what he really likes is getting his hands somewhere in the middle. Your waist, hips, stomach, back ... where he can feel the meat of you.
He'll sneak up behind you when you're cooking dinner, his hand automatically sliding under the hem of your shirt just to feel the soft, warm skin of your stomach. Or if you're wearing a dress, that's fine too, he'll push it up just enough to dip his fingers into the fat of your hips. He can't get enough of it.
Then one day he comes home and you're wearing a romper, and he's immediately equal parts confused and annoyed.
"The fuck is this?" he mutters, pawing at you like an anxious, dumb animal.
"It's called fashion, Simon, look it up."
"How you even supposed to piss in this thing? Fucking mad."
You stand there patiently as his hands bunch the fabric around your waist, looking for a way in, but there isn't one. The romper is loose and flowy, but down to your ankles with no buttons in the front. He's like a pitiful overgrown gerbil, trying to burrow his way through, and you can't help but laugh.
"Think this is funny?" he asks, finally meeting your eyes.
"Pretty funny, yeah," you answer.
An hour later, you're singing a different tune. The romper has been unceremoniously discarded somewhere and Simon has been thoroughly making up for that little bit of lost time when he wasn't able to run his fingers over your bare skin.
"Need to be able to feel my girl," he mutters, more to himself than to you, and you make a note to go through your closet, tailoring your wardrobe to suit this seemingly serious, but not at all unwelcome, desire.
#call of duty simon riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#cod ghost#call of duty ghost#ghost x you#ghost x reader#i can't even go shopping without thinking of him how am i supposed to live like this#cw clown hours
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Okay, I have A Thought.
So I've seen around a few times that Danny's heart stops and freaks out people with superhearing, particularly Superman and his family. Que the freaking out because this child's heart has stopped and they haven't even seemed to notice.
But what if Danny keeping his heart beating takes effort? He has to focus on it at least a little all the time to seem more human. But if he's relaxed because he's, say, gaming over at Tucker's, he stops paying attention to if his heart is beating or not, and it stops. Sort of like how if you're walking around in a place you don't know in the middle of the night, you're tense and worried, but once you make it to a little area or a place you know better you stop being so nervous.
All that to say, having a beating heart is a stress response for halfas. And, like any other stress response, having it be constantly active can have long term negative effects. This was discovered by Frostbite shortly before Danny told his parents about being a halfa, and in fact influenced that decision. It turned out well, and Danny's heart began to stop more and more frequently while at home, to the point that it rarely ever beats at home now.
So que Phantom joining the League through some shenanigan or another, and together they're working to dismantle the Anti-Ecto Acts. The League knows he's powerful, but he's paranoid enough that he hasn't told them about the whole "half dead" thing. He's wandering around the Watchtower, chatting with Superman as they walk past a window that looks out into space. Danny's chatting about his weekend plans with Sam and Tuck, Superman's chatting about his upcoming visit to Ma and Pa's farm, and suddenly the kid's heart just stops.
And Superman freaks out. Because there is a child right next to him having a heart attack and seemingly not knowing.
He rushes Phantom to the medbay, only for his heart to be beating again? And the kid looks really freaked out and confused now. So he apologizes, explains what he heard, or rather didn't hear, and asks if it's an arrhythmia or something.
And now Danny, poor, socially awkward, barely a sophomore in high school Danny, gets to explain that sometimes, if he's really happy and content and feels safe, his heart stops and it is actually a good thing.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#dp x dc#dc x dp#poor Superman#he was so worried about the new kid and accidentally stressed them out#you can't really blame him though#a kid's heart stopped and he's supposed to not rush them to get medical assistance?#Danny's embarrassed#he can't believe his heart stopped in front of Superman of all people!#his second favorite JL member (after Martian Manhunter)#Dan's never going to let him live this down#Jazz going to be all big sisterly and go on a oht how she's “happy he's making new friends”#Ancients he wishes he could die for real right there and then
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All my problems would be solved if I had a tail. And also if someone pulled on it.
#do you realize how many instigatory possibilities i am missing out on#by not having a tail#a tragedy#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions#queer nsft#trans nsft#t4t nsft#ftm ns/fw#ns/fw blog#ftm nsft#mlm ns/fw#t4t ns/fw#mlm nsft#petpl4y#ftm t4t#ftm dom
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happy new year to neil josten who didnt sign it. he gave me a contract but i didnt sign it. he couldnt make me. this doesnt mean anything. im still a fox.
#aftg#all for the game#palmetto state foxes#the raven king#exy#neil josten#screaming in my car about them on my 15#happy new year#happy new year neil josten#im actually so insanely normal about this#guys you dont understand#how am i supposed to go back into work and act like everything is fine???#like wdym#wdym my coworkers arent also thinking about neil josten rn??#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions#how am i supposed to function after this???
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Peepaw Starlo struggles. Autism 2 autism communication struggles.
#undertale yellow#uty#uty au#lucky clover au#frisk ut#starlo uty#ceroba uty#martlet uty#dalv uty#feisty four uty#the cowboy hat draws#FALLS OVER. THIS TOOK OVER A MONTH.#Mostly because of being busy IRL but also because I decided on a new rendering method#Aaaand it was ten times as time consuming and I don't like the end result at all. LMAO. You live and learn I suppose#I hope this is comprehensible um. I think a lot about Starlo being so used to understanding Clover easily and being one of their favorites#And going to Frisk and 1. not really understanding how they communicate and 2. feeling like he isn't their favorite LOL#Idk how well that reads but! Peepaw Starlo musings#Starlo tries his best and doesn't always get it right but he's in a better place now#I know Clover's absence feels very strange here but I just couldn't find a place to put them oops.#Drawing this made me realize I really gotta practice my backgrounds. Hough. Definitely in the new year!#Also I haven't played poker in years so anything that's wrong? Uh monster poker is different. Yup. Thumbs up emoji
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My friend labeled this “toxic aromantic yaoi” and I couldn’t agree more
#kelperambles#toxic to the extreme because Petey’s life has been so shit that he has unknowingly placed romantic love on a pedestal#since it’s seemingly one of the few “good” things in life he has to look forward to (aside fron his kid obv)#but once Petey realizes he doesn��t experience it. he goes cuckoo because like what is he supposed to do now???#and he’s too stubborn to change his perspective on romance so he’s stuck grasping at straws for that sense of “normalcy” that everyone else#seems to easily indulge in. He grieves something he never had#and can only project those same feelings onto dogman because that’s the closest person he has excluding lil petey#when you look at their relationship from an outsider’s POV#they do everything a couple would do right?#they live together. take care of a kid together. and spend a lot of time together.#So of course they’d feel that societal pressure to be in a romantic relationship until they're forced to realize that it’s not for them#my friend even mentioned how much dogman cares about making everyone happy so#“ he probably is confused and sad because he can't give petey the ”right“ kinda love"#AND AUGHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭#dogman#dog man
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Sae Niijima is such a good character it drives me insane a little. She's not a mother nor a maternal or doting older sister but instead a twenty four year old who was thrown into a position of responsibility that she never asked for. She loves Makoto just as much as she resents her and its so apparent every time they talk up until November. "Are you studying?" (I want you to do well) (I need you to get a job and stop making my life harder) "I'll use any method necessary to get this promotion" (Life will be easier for us) (So stop distracting me with your problems) "Focus on your future" (I know that you're capable) (I can't afford to waste my time on you, so stop wasting time on others)
Makoto is not only the sole reason she pushes as hard as she does for a promotion, for success, and the reason that she loses herself in her animosity over her fathers death, but also someone she can't stand for so long. Makoto was 14-15 when their father died. Sae was 21. As soon as she got the career she wanted and things started to look up, her stability was robbed from her and she was disillusioned with the system that her father had taught her to rely on and completely adhere to. How do you manage, the daughter of a cop, following his footsteps towards law enforcement, when you're suddenly reminded of how unfair it is? You can't quit, your little sister relies on you and she's so young and struggling just as badly with this grief. So you pick yourself up and you get moving again. You push harder, press further. You abandon your morals and your ethics because punishing criminals (guilty or not) is almost like punishing the man who killed your father.
And the whole time she's fighting for promotions, going for drinks with the SIU Director to make herself more favourable for promotions, trying to navigate being a woman in a competitive, suffocating, male-dominated field, falling behind despite doing so much where others are promoted for doing so little - all the while your little sister comes back from school and her biggest issues are so small compared to yours.
Persona 5 revolves so heavily around grief and loss and change and Sae embodies all of that so well, all of the sharp and unpleasant and jagged parts of grief.
#sae niijima#persona brainrot real#idk what possessed me for this i jsut love her#beyond her being rlly hot and such a driven and compelling character#the way that we see her on screen is so heavily shaped and influenced by grief that its almost crushing when you notice it#she focuses on work because if she falls behind it could cost her and her sister everything#yet she lives in her fathers house. works a job her father would be proud of. is praised through her proximity to her father.#her sister idolises her and relies on her like a parent. sae was never supposed to be that to her#how am i meant to be your mother and your father? how am i meant to be the source of stability in your life when im not stable in mine#and the whole time your little sister sits there and where shes actually putting on a brave face and forcing through her own grief#struggling to put a life without her father into perspective#to you she just looks ... complacent. willfully ignorant to the situation that you're both in and the struggles you're both facing#why WOULDNT you hate her?#and then you realise that shes not ignorant. shes not as stupid or as oblivious as you thought#every time she was being distracting and asking pointless questions she was just reaching out to you#and each time you had to push her hand away and tell her not now. focus. study.#they drive me insane actually#persona 5#p5r#persona 5 royal#makoto niijima
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I know they will, which is why I’m willing to die to get them up there.
i believe this is my fifth time reading through the murderbot diaries series, and the second System Collapse reread, and this part right here, i didn’t paid much attention in my first read but this time around… screaming crying throwing up
#it was ready to sacrifice itself for these humans#because it knew they were worth it#you don’t understand how precious SecUnit is to me!!!#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions#the murderbot diaries#system collapse
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feetman
#hlvrai#half live vr but the ai is self aware#gordon freeman#gordon feetman#so idk if theres any like ‘metastory’ to there being a player or if its literally just supposed to be wayne#but i thought it would be kinda interesting for the player to be his own guy#cause like to me#a big part of it that makes it fun is that gordon has like#no actual stakes#dude is getting pissed for the sake of it#he knows its a game and is just freaking out at the ai being so alive u know#now since i cant remember if theres some kind of canon or metastory to the player you can completely decide for yourself why hes playing#or how he got the game#is he just some guy? is it an experiment? is it for his job? who knows!#hes The Player#also if ur wondering why his design is so similar to gordons#its cause i didnt wanna stray into the unrecognizable lmao#also. i really really really didnt wanna draw the fucking suit#and yes thats benrey on the tamagotchi#i think it would be very funny if he could cart them all around in tamagotchis#sorry for long tags#my art
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the slightly unsettling realization that your ex-boss is also a person with wants and desires, and that those wants and desires are closer to your own than you might previously have imagined. aka "why does DJ Octavio get to be at the Grand Festival can you imagine how the octolings must feel about this"
Bonus doodle:
#dj octavio#craig cuttlefish#cuttletavio#<-kind of#splatoon#splatoon 3#grandfest#splatoon grand festival#I think generally octolings have a pretty fond view of their DJ and even this guy probably does. as evidenced by all the titles#but anyways you people realize that DJ Octavio also longs for the Surface. Right.#'well the inklings didnt care about the war anymore so why didnt he-' 1. HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?#You are going to blame probably one of the few remaining guys with living memory of the gtw for... not trusting the guys#who put octolings in the shithole underground in the first place?#and 2. It Seems He Is Pretty Aware Now#given that he's up there... chilling... running a stall with his ex-ex-boyfriend...#anyways.#alchohol //
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im a hater through and through and Stormfly is done NO BETTER than the other dragons!!! I hate this shit dawg ;0;
#httyd#stormfly#deadly nadder#tharky's drawings#dragon#how to train your dragon#httyd live action#you have a velociraptor chicken hawk and you gave it BASIC ASS T REX LEGS AND BODY????#i also took some inspo from the stage show cuz i liked the beak on it#is it the best? no#could i have done better on the legs? yes#am i tired as hell? also yes#the dragons are supposed to be goofy AND terrifying#i dont GET IT
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Recently I saw somebody has made an edit of live action Jumba. So I decided to give it a try too.
My Edit
The Original Fugly CGI Creature
Yeah, I know my cheap photoshop skills couldn't save him from Uncanny Valley. At least now this man looks more similar to his adorable cartoon counterpart though.
The TRUE Original

PS / Haven't watched the movie yet and considering the spoilers I'm not sure if I want to 😰
#lilo and stitch#jumba jookiba#lilo and stich 2025#lilo and stich live action#justice for jumba#look how they massacred my boy#😭😭😭#and then people say 'what did you expect? aliens are SUPPOSED to be ugly!'#WTF?!#heck no#the creators could stuck to the original and make him look kinda acceptable#or at least try to do so#but disney doesnt even try!!!#gosh i hate this company#they made my childhood#and now theyre making nothing but soulless uninspiring trash
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yoohankim connected by a red string of fate, but the red string is something han sooyoung wove herself, and the red string is the lifeline keeping kim dokja from drowning, and the red string is the outline of a person that yoo joonghyuk filled in. do you understand.
#orv#yoohankim#i keep thinking about them. i feel unwell#slightly less serious take on this is that their red string is the fishing line that hsy dangled yjh from to lure kdj into living#i just!! augh!!!!#i can't stop thinking about how intertwined they are#hsy was like you WILL be loved and you WILL stay alive#and she wrote yjh into existence for that purpose#like!!!!!!! how am i supposed to cope
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