#is this meta or fanfiction????? i'll use both

[reanimatedheart]

Hello! Welcome to the official Reanimated Heart Tumblr.

(This Pinned is Under Construction. Still figuring out the tags...)

Reanimated Heart is a character-driven horror romance visual novel about finding love in a mysterious small town. There are three love interests with their own unique personalities and storylines. Play the demo on Itch now!

Content Warning: Reanimated Heart is an 18+ game! It contains dark subject matter such as violence and sexual content. Player discretion is advised.

This blog is ran by Jack, the creator.

Itch | Link Tree | Patreon | Twitter

Guidelines

My policy for fanwork is that anything goes in fiction, but respect my authority and copyright outside it. This means normal fan activity like taking screencaps, posting playthroughs, and making fanart/fanfiction is completely allowed, but selling this game or its assets isn't allowed (selling fanwork of it is fine, though).

Do not use Reanimated Heart for illegal or hateful content.

Also, I expect everyone to respect the Content Warnings on the page. I'm old and do not tolerate fandom wank.

F.A.Q.

Who are the main Love Interests?

Read their character profiles here!!

Who's the team?

Jack (creator, writer, artist), mostly. I closely work with Exodus (main programmer) and Claira (music composer). My husband edits the drafts, and my friend Bonny makes art assets. I've also gotten help from outsiders like Sleepy (prologue music + vfx) and my friend Gumjamin (main menu heart animation).

For VOs, Alex Ross voices Crux, Devin McLaughlin voices Vincenzo, Christian Cruz voices Black, Maganda Marie voices Grete, and Zoe D. Lee voices Missy.

Basically, it's mostly just me & outsourcing stuff to my friends and professionals.

How can I support Reanimated Heart?

You can pay for the game, or join our monthly Patreon! If you don't have any money, just giving it a nice rating and recommending it to a friend is already good enough. :)

Where do the funds go to?

100% gets poured back into the game. More voice acting, more music, more trailers, more art, etc. I also like to give my programmer a monthly tip for helping me.

This game is really my insane passion project, and I want to make it better with community support.

I live in the Philippines and the purchasing power of php is not high, especially since many of the people I outsource to prefer USD. (One time I spent P10k of my own money in one month just to get things.) I'll probably still do that, even if no money comes in, until I'm in danger of getting kicked out the street… but maybe even then? (jk)

What platforms will it be released in?

Itch and then Steam when it's fully finished. Still looking into other options, as I hear both are getting bad.

Will the game be free?

Chapter 1 will be free. The rest will be updated on Patreon exclusively until full release.

Are you doing a mobile version?

Yeah. Just Android for now, but it's in the works.

Where can I listen to the OST?

It is currently up on YouTube, Spotify, and Bandcamp!

Why didn't you answer my ask?

A number of things! Two big ones that keep coming up are Spoilers (as in, you asked something that will be put in an update) or it's already been asked. If you're really dying to know, check the character tags or the meta commentary. You might find what you're looking for there. :)

Tag List for Navigation

Just click the tags to get to where you wanna go!

[metvmorqhoses]

Hi! I never read the original trilogy before watching the show, only the crows books, but I agree with a lot of what you’ve said about Alina & Aleksander. It’s obviously a cruel and poorly fitting match. May I ask what kind of person you think would truly match Aleksander better?

So, here is the deal: while the right answer to this question might appear pretty obvious, since pretty much everyone in the fandom agrees that Aleksander deserves an equal, I have to confess that I've always found a big flaw in this otherwise, well, flawless reasoning.

Albeit I obviously agree with everything you said about Alina's (especially show!Alina) lack of... personality (to express it kindly), I think dismissing the general concept of book!Alina, at least in the way she should have been written had her writer any sense of artistic potential, might actually be a dire mistake in the proverbial grand scheme of literary things.

I'll explain.

It's indeed pretty easy to sketch out Aleksander's ideal match. He himself would tell you he'd need a mirror image of who he is in order to finally, finally, feel complete: someone to match him in power, but above all in his understanding of power; someone to match him in immortality, but above all in his experience with it; someone who shares his predatory eagle-view on existence and therefore sharp-sighted enough to look in his same direction and see the same clash of colors in dawns and sunsets turning morality and philosophy unforgiving black.

In short, Aleksander would need someone who shares his unique condition, but most importantly having already lived through each and every single stage of it (the same despair, the same fear, the same loneliness) and therefore being someone who just gets what it means, what it feels, to be him.

There's no doubt in my mind this is what the Darkling dreamt about in the dead of night, what he prayed for before actually finding the Sun Summoner. He prayed she had been out there all along somehow, each year he himself had existed, going through the same centuries of unforgiveness, of solitude, of horror, through the same desperate quest for an equal, for him, just as he had been looking for her, all that time, all along.

I've seen many amazing people believing this very same thing while exploring the possibility in both meta and fanfiction, and I absolutely get where they are coming from. But I'm afraid I have to disagree. As poets say, there's a huge difference between what someone thinks they need and what they actually do need.

Aleksander's perfect match should indeed be his mirror image, but the mirror image of the boy he once was (the boy who was in love with "all the colors one cannot see in the dark", the one who was moved by the mere idea of companionship and intimacy, who was brave enough to risk his own life for the sake of a little girl he had just met), and not of the eternal and lost creature he had become, no matter how shocking the mere notion would be to him.

Aleksander would need a person who reminds him of the unspoiled self that was torn away from him, of his original unmarred idealism, his profound appreciation for living before he became a mere stubborn and bitter habit, of the humanity he was forced to shed. And, above all, Aleksander would need to be able himself to perform this act of saving, protecting and cherishing this twin heart for the sake of that heart of his no one had cared to save in time.

I think seeing himself, his truer, unspoiled self, in his equal and being able to shield her from everything he endured, as a single beam of light in endless oceans of darkness, would be virtually the only thing able to save him in turn, finally giving his life a meaning no war nor time could steal away from him.

And this is precisely why I think the concept of Alina had real literary potential, had it been used wisely, because Alina was supposed to be exactly that - an Alexander who can still, materially, be protected, saved, someone with the strength of not treding her own humanity for comforting numbness and disillusion, not even while crushed by the weight of eternity, and, in doing so, allowing him to be human and bearably so for the first time in his eternal detached yet still excruciating exististing.

It's a pity, because at fleeting times both books and show did touch on this very topic, almost giving in, only to idiotically shy away from it for reasons that will always be beyond me.

[lola-andheruniverse]

About everything we got today (and also what we didn't get):

I'm choosing to hope and ignore the fear of being disappointed. I'm grateful we have Mel back when for a long time I didn't think it was possible. I LOVED BOTH TEASER AND SNEAK PEEK. I trust that AMC/TPTB saw that a love story with a happy ending can put real money in the bank with TOWL and will let Carol and Daryl's story run its natural course to canon. I can't see any other logical outcome for them.

If, for some crazy ass reason, that's not what happens? I'll always love them. They're my OTP. They live in my heart. They changed the way I understand love. I'll never regret a second spent loving them. I said this before and I'll say it again: They're mine. They're ours, dear fellow carylers. Nothing will ever change that. No one can take them from us.

What I want is explicit canon? Hell yeah, give me all the passionate kisses and glorious sex scenes they deserve! But, I'm happy for now. My fingers are itching to write metas and recs and new fanfiction and it feels good! Today's a good day. Lets CARYL THE FUCK ON!

[billsfangearring]

11 Good Omens Fic Favorites

a.k.a. I was going to choose my personal top ten but was too indecisive

One of my fandom resolutions for 2023 is to get back into reccing, so here’s a very casual GO rec list to kick things off! Fics are ordered longest to shortest.

As with any rec list, please read the warnings and tags on ao3 and make whatever decisions are best for you. I hope you enjoy!

the bucket list by darcylindbergh (@forineffablereasons)

There was a certain look that Aziraphale wore occasionally—a pinched sort of moue that looked like he’d just taken a very large mouthful of cinnamon—which meant he thought Crowley was being ridiculous. He had put it on. “Hang on,” he had said. “You want us to do human things?” * If you're going to go native, you might as well go all the way.

absolutely stunning, I wanted to take breaks while reading to really let it all sink in, I felt ALL THE EMOTIONS (44k, incomplete, E)

Your Mirror by equestrianstatue (@justlikeeddie)

I'll be your mirror; reflect what you are, in case you don't know. Crowley drummed his fingers briefly against his mug, and then sat back a little in his chair. He gave Aziraphale a long, appraising glance, and then seemed to come to some decision. “Listen, angel,” he said, “let me pitch you something.” Lulled by the familiar patter of Crowley’s voice as he was, Aziraphale still recognised this to be vaguely dangerous territory. He swallowed. “Go on,” he said.

one of the best-executed non-linear narrative fics I've ever read—just masterful, really peels back the layers in their relationship (28k, E)

This Soul Outstreaming by Rend_Herring

“Why did you come here?” Aziraphale interrupts. “Why do you keep doing this?” All the saving, he means, all the chasing after Aziraphale he does. It can’t only be that he’s not keen to endure a replacement. That can’t be it, not anymore. He’s going to get himself in trouble, and then it’ll be Aziraphale’s fault. Crowley’s mouth shuts with a click. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, reaches for the handle of the fork and taps his fingertips against it before setting his hands in his lap. When he speaks, it’s very soft. “Don’t you know?” he asks. Aziraphale, unnaccustomed to his heart refusing to translate why it throbs with such haste, shakes his head.

sad, tender, funny, and romantic with beautiful prose, really just everything you want, so many quotable lines (22k, E)

Lay me down in Eden by caricari (@heycaricari)

Two supernatural entities go for a walk and Crowley gets more than he bargained for.

SO ROMANTIC OH MY GOD in the dialogue, interior monologue, and actions, excellent characterization, so pure (then explicit lol) (17k, E)

You've Got Kudos by curtaincall (@fremulon)

Aziraphale and Crowley both write fanfiction. As it happens, they both write Good Omens fanfiction. Of course, neither of them would ever admit this to the other. (A love story told primarily in AO3 comments)

this is the most meta thing ever lmao, really impressive skins for the ao3 look—pay attention to all the little details like usernames, etc. (4k, M)

build me a city, call it jerusalem by gyzym (@gyzym)

Man begets man begets The Tales of Men, and there's nothing godly in that; Those Above and Them Below haven't any need for the stories humans have been hungry for since the snake and the Angel with the flaming sword.

pre-show fic written in 2012, leans heavily into religious themes and Biblical references, melancholic, spare but beautiful writing style (3k, T)

The Gift by entanglednow (@entanglednow)

In which there is a little wooden elephant, and a long overdue confession.

simple yet checks all the boxes, very very soft and sweet, the DEVOTION, more biblical settings, truly just lovely (3k, T)

Anthony J. Crowley, Retired Demon and Airbnb Superhost by TheOldAquarian (@darkpurpledawn)

What are you supposed to do when you've been fired from your sweet job in Hell for thwarting the schemes of Satan, you've got a swanky flat in Mayfair, and you're looking for an excuse to spend all your time in someone else's bookshop? Obviously, you turn to the dubious world of short-term vacation rentals. The resulting Airbnb property has been variously described as "an instagram trap," "a vampire den but make it botanical," and "the weirdest bed and breakfast in the shared history of beds and breakfasting."

a highly entertaining series of Airbnb reviews of Crowley’s flat—every single one kills me, as do our ineffable duo’s cameos (3k, G)

Kissing, Accidentally. by skybound2 (@skybound2)

Crowley doesn’t mean to kiss him, really. It just sort of…happens. An…automatic response, if you will. An unintended automatic response. Unexpected, even. It’s not planned, that’s what he’s trying to say. ~~~ Or the one where Crowley gives in and kisses Aziraphale while he has him pinned against a wall.

winner of best use of footnotes, hilarious, Crowley is WHIPPED and an absolute disaster of a demon, just delightful (2k, G)

Too Generous by rfsmiley (@redfacesmiley)

“You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged; but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever.” Or: what happened after the [ we all got hit by a ] bus scene (aka "you could stay at my place, if you like")….

the TENSION, the PINING, ahh my heart was in my throat, excellent dialogue, and multiple P&P references (1.5k, T)

Interwoven Footsteps by skybound2 (@skybound2)

It takes them a while to get there. Six thousand years, give or take. But they get there.

criminally underappreciated (probably because it's super short), gorgeous, lush, sweet, their whole story in under 1k words (700, T)

[utilitycaster]

as a reader I feel that both canon-has-disappointed-me-and-i-shall-make-everything-how-i-want-it-to-be and the kind that, as you say, explores canon themes at least somewhat on canon's own terms has value, but it depends on which fandom I'm looking at, how much / whether I'll indulge in the former. I'd never even consider looking for it re: Calamity for instance (haven't seen candela yet), but then there's canons I'll be happy to entirely disregard. I think maybe it changes with just how much I personally value the canon work of fiction as a work of art in and of itself. plus, if the art is shit, if it's valuable to me as a jumping off point only, I don't see why I should respect the integrity of the work like that.

it does suck to think that people think of Calamity the way I think about, like, the call of duty modern warfare reboot tho.

anyway. not disagreeing at all I just. you know, I felt vaguely called out because sometimes I do like that style of fic, but then I realised uuuh it's probably not about me.

Hey anon,

I know you sent a follow up saying I could delete this if I wanted, but I am actually not annoyed and I think this offers an opportunity to elaborate that I'd like to take.

I will note: I am pretty aware that I make posts that are very easy to take personally if you a person who likes the thing I dislike. They are, more often than not, posts about trends rather than any individual person; but that doesn't mean that an individual person participating in that trend won't feel called out. This probably won't help with those feelings, but while I'm ultimately just making posts about my opinions and what I like, I am not opposed to someone feeling called out and rethinking what they do, and if they come to the conclusion of "hey, utilitycaster is an opinionated asshole and I don't need her approval" that is valid (honestly, more valid than strangers feeling they are entitled to my approval) but it's also a not undesired outcome if someone says "oh, huh, this is a good point, what am I doing with my constant fluffy fix-it fics of things that are about grief and loss and tragedy."

Anyway what I actually wanted to cover is respecting the integrity of a work you don't care for. I don't actually care about the integrity of the art in transformative works! It's fic! The writers and authors do not care! But I also have never, ever seen the point of saying "I don't like what this work did so I want to spend more time in this space and make it do what I wanted." At most, I've picked apart what I thought was good about the premise before it went to shit and used it to inform my other writing or my meta but like...I've stripped it down for parts to the point that it's not even a little about that canon anymore. I steal the concepts for a cool magic system or a specific character trait and bring them to other creative endeavors but I do not associate it with that work anymore. I don't write fic for stories that I, at least at the time of initial writing, did not think were pretty good. If it sucks, I do, in fact, hit the bricks and stop spending time on it. The only scenario I can really concoct is like, a Game of Thrones situation in which someone familiar with both the show and the books writes an ending that is true to the themes of the books (and earlier themes of the show) and diverges before the steep decline); but that is a very specific situation. Even shows I enjoyed that I think ended poorly - even those that are widely agreed to have had bad endings (Battlestar Galactica; How I Met Your Mother; Rusty Quill Gaming) do not entice me to write a fix. It's not that I think the writers or creators did a good job that I am obligated to honor; I just don't see the point.

Fundamentally, I do not see fanfiction as wish fulfillment. I simply do not. Nor do I watch/read/listen to fiction with an end goal of writing or reading fanfiction. If it happens, it happens, but just as much as my post was about "hey, if you look at a tragedy that was made with intent, and you cannot exist with it and live with it and embrace it as such, that's perhaps not a great thing," it is also about being able to see fiction as a completed story that does not need you.

This isn't me saying fanfiction can't be good or enjoyable or isn't an art or a worthwhile pursuit. But I left out some tags from my post that I originally had there, which is that almost all the fanfic I've actually enjoyed has been from people who also write meta. It's written by people who are as comfortable following and listening, as they are leading and telling. And again, this isn't about the integrity of canon so much as the fact that I believe that if you (the general you, not you the anon) cannot read (watch, listen) without saying "how can I make this mine" your work will never be good. I think a lot of people write fanfiction in order to mark hypothetical territory, or get a good grade in ao3, or because Fic Writer is a part of their identity, rather than because they have something to say is best communicated through the medium of fanfiction. And that's their right - I cannot and will not stop them - but I don't care to read what they're writing.

[tachiguin]

hi, english is not my native language, so sorry for any mistakes... you know about the songs of bsd characters? I really love your analyzes and theories, it seems like there was nothing about songs among them, maybe there are any thoughts about them?

Hello there, Anon! I'm happy to hear that you like my posts :) And thank you so much for asking; as it happens, I do know about the songs. Though if I'm being honest, the only one I listen to semi-regularly is Tanizaki's "Bewitching Screens" (usually when I'm roleplaying/writing fanfiction with him and need the inspiration).

I do have some thoughts, though I think the reason I never posted anything about the song is because I feel like the lyrics are kind of self-explanatory anyhow, but they do reinforce my interpretation/meta of Tanizaki.

Rambles under the cut :)

His song has a very low key, chill vibe, but only at first. It goes from carefree and casual, to something with a darker, more aggressive undertone, then finally, the ending, (which I will touch on later in this post). It's representative of who Tanizaki is as a character-- the deceptive "softboy" energy he has normally, which belies his proclivity towards violence and darker psyche.

Also, it's worth noting that the lyrics kinda just come out and confirm that Tanizaki has "secrets [he doesn't] want to tell anyone", particularly in regards to "[his] existence". The song is essentially him singing about himself, repeating the usual narrative:

Maybe that’s why miscellaneous odd jobs is sort of my specialty My social status is so-so Even getting carried away is fine,

My redeeming quality is probably my diligence I don’t even want to shed blood As far as myself is concerned

But these verses always end on a darker note:

But there is only one thing I cannot forgive

But don’t cross over the forbidden territory.

Of course, I think the other reason why I never really talked much about the character songs is because I wasn't sure how much of an input Asagiri actually had in their lyrics/composition. Like sure, there's definitely some reading between the lines to be done, but at the end of the day, I felt like it didn't really tell me anything new about Tanizaki, it's just a song about what can already be deduced based on his actions in the series.

BUT! One thing I always found interesting was that his character song ends with "Sayonara" (goodbye), WHICH could be interpreted as just a melodramatic thing thrown in there for the aesthetic, but… I guess it wouldn't be me if I didn't read too deeply into things that probably aren't that deep. I do recall reading a comment once (which I cannot find atm, if you think you're the person who originally made this connection then lmk and I'll mention you if you want) that Dazai and Tanizaki's character songs both end on the "goodbye", though now that I'm actually looking into it, it's completely different, because Dazai says "goodbye" in English (a.k.a. its another "Guddo Bai" reference, which is a completely different meta that I'm certain someone else has already written)

The thing is that there's multiple different ways to say "bye" in Japanese, and "sayonara" has a certain sentimental connotation, therefore, its really awkward and a dead giveaway that you're not a native speaker if you use it in casual conversation. The correct way to say 'goodbye' to a friend would be some variant of "Jaa mata ne" (see you later then), though notably this is pretty informal and should not be used with a coworker or teacher or senior-- but I digress! The point is that "sayonara" has the implication that you may not see the other party for a long time, possibly forever.

Okay the other element here is that, assumably, he's singing to Naomi, due to this verse:

I want to protect you (I want to be here) I want to protect you (I cannot forgive this) I want to protect (the incorruptible) everything “you” are –

Which, combined with the "sayonara", really kinda makes me wonder. I think the easy interpretation to get out of this is further reinforcement of the "Naomi is actually an ability construct and her real self died in Middle School" theory, which is valid, but also, consider that the rest of the song is about who Tanizaki is. In the chorus, he asks the listener:

Slowly…look, at the illusionary screen Tell me, what do you see?

To me, it sounds like Tanizaki is asking "do you see the real me, hidden behind this facade of ordinariness?". And when he wants "to protect the incorruptible"-- he doesn't want "you" (Naomi?) to know about this darker side to him. Again, that's just what I'm getting from the song lyrics, which weren't necessarily written with Asagiri's manga canon in mind (still unsure?). But, this interpretation is supported by the fact that Tanizaki only ever snaps when Naomi is in danger, therefore unconscious, and ignorant to Tanizaki's actions following her being harmed.

Personally, I think it's a disservice to Naomi's character to think she's completely unaware of Tanizaki's darker psyche, the side of him who would literally burn the world down if it meant keeping Naomi safe, but… BSD never claimed to write women with agency :,) On the other hand, as much as Naomi acts airheaded and oblivious, we also frequently see a much more perceptive side of her, usually, when Tanizaki isn't in the picture. It's canonically stated that Naomi is, in fact, smarter and more observant than her brother, but, just like Tanizaki, this "hidden" side of her only emerges when Tanizaki isn't around to witness it.

Anyway, that was kind of off topic from the character song, but what I was getting at was that the "sayonara" means that Tanizaki has revealed his "true self" to "you"/Naomi, therefore, he's saying farewell to the peaceful illusion he had built between them— of himself, as just a "normal guy", and of their relationship, just an innocent sibling pair that used to be high-schoolers.

Hopefully my rambles satisfied your curiosity, Anon! It's a good song, and it's pretty validating for my headcanons/metas.

[therealvinelle]

I felt sad seeing that no one asked you about your master plan for your april fools joke post, so I'll ask.. what was the plan? how did you and muffin convincingly pretend to be two separate people?

(Anon is referring to this amazing April Fool's joke)

I'm so glad you (and a few others, after seeing my "woe nobody asked. woe!" post) asked!

So, rule one of making up an elaborate lie: what is already known? What can people find out on their own?

Well, @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin's ffnet account is older than mine. It's from 2008, Vinelle is from 2014 (accidental account creation, I thought I was reviewing anonymously. Ffnet said "so you wish to make an account"). It's the reverse with our tumblrs, my main belovedordos dates back to 2012 while theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin is only from 2015 or so.

Faithful followers will remember that the reason why Muffin created the account theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin in the first place was because someone had nabbed the url thecarnivorousmuffin, and this was creating confusion. Faithful followers will further remember that Vinelle's fanfiction career began with bizarre fanfics where Harry Potter is a deer.

How, then, to tie these together?

We decided on the following series of events:

In 2008, Muffin creates the account The Carnivorous Muffin on ffnet. A few years later she gets a tumblr, she keeps this separate from her fic profile. In 2015 however, she discovers she does actually need a tumblr. To keep the two separate, however (as tumblr will make it so your likes and follows come from your main, making it impossible to keep the two separate in any meaningful sense), she creates an entire new blog: theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin.

Meanwhile, in 2014, an accident led to her creating a second ffnet account, Vinelle. Hate when that happens, but it exists now and when she gets the really dumb idea to write really dumb fics where Harry is a deer, she posts it on that account instead of The Carnivorous Muffin (Longtime followers of Muffin will remember this was a time when people would ask "Can you write a Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus fic where she meets deer!Harry?" if she had).

So, alright, Muffin now has a lot of accounts but that's fine, it's manageable. A main ffnet account, a shame account, both get imported to Ao3, a tumblr main, a tumblr for her fanfiction stuff, it's all good.

2020 comes around, and she starts posting metas on theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin because people are giving her asks. Life continues as usual otherwise.

Until in December 2020, when she is posting the first chapter of Nebuchadnezzar's Dream and she posts to the wrong account.

Ah hell.

She decides to go with it, however, if anything it'll be interesting to see if it gets any readers on its own considering the Vinelle account is a fandom nobody. As a nod to herself, she has Vinelle thank The Carnivorous Muffin for being such a good beta. Har har.

The comment section turns out to be a surprisingly chatty place, though, and...

She gets a horrible idea.

She's already pretending to be two people.

Why not take it further?

So she creates therealvinelle on tumblr.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

(With @franzias-cave having been called in, even, as thoughts about making them back us up on this were had.)

[ruiniel]

Hi there, was hoping I could ask your advice if it’s okay! How might someone relatively new to the Castlevania fandom on Tumblr get to know the community better? 👋 I know everyone is super hyped for Nocturne, so I figured now was a good time to try to become more active in the fandom!

Hello dear, you're absolutely on point! 🕸️The Fandom🦇 is slowly awakening now that the Nocturne sequel is hitting the bend, so this is the perfect time to dive in, I'd say.

Now, I tend to be a fandom hermit personally on here for Reasons, but this isn't about me. Here's some resources!

Follow the tags! I noticed some of the most popular ones are #castlevania, #castlevania nocturne, #castlevania netflix, #castlevania fanfiction, #netflix castlevania. If you have particular character faves, follow their tags too

There are many creatives involved and versed in the Castlevania show&game lore on here. Browse the tags and posts, see what sounds interesting to you. Reblogging or commenting are always good ideas. If you see a piece of meta you like, comment, reblog, send asks, see where it gets you! This fandom has low key gained me some friends for certain.

Here's some blogs from which I've seen plenty of castlevania show (and game inspired) media, I've not interacted with all but worth checking out, mostly going from my side-blog items heh:

kundool

almond-aulait

isnipedgodlastsaturday

bornfreakdraws

@chrysonoe

@akut0u

@akutouart

func44

aeeriz

askvarneyakadeath

@sandwichartistdatzu

@ignix191

theocarina

kinginthemask

@wyyvernn

trevorsmellmont

thekaryna

tirtyturtle

ash-and-starlight

autumnmobile12

funsetsunset

@askadrianalucardtepes

@davisd00dles

akulols

@hunterssymphony

@amandajgaskins

@avatarchai

etherati

justsayapple

fruitsuccubus

@demigoddessqueens

@kkeidawrites

@fandomn00blr

@kiatheinsomniac

alucarddear

aquilaofarkham

alpaca-clouds

nocturneprince

felixfellow

???

Other informative/fun blogs:

@alucarddaily

@castlevania-gallery (art reblogs)

@the-keep-under-gresit

Blogs of people involved in the show(s) relatively active here:

tendermiasma is a character artist on Castlevania & Castlevania: Nocturne

samueldeats blog belongs to Sam Deats, director of the series along with Adam Deats

This list is by no means exhaustive and I am missing blogs for sure, therefore making this rebagel🥖able for anyone who wants to say hi, self-promote, both, or just add to the list.

Welcome to the fandom!

PS: won't comment on fandom dynamics or conflict, I avoid that as a rule, but remember to curate your experience: use the privacy and block features available. One aspect that (for now) makes tumblr different to other socials is that your fandom experience here is highly influenced by who you follow/see in the tags.

I'll also say the series fandom is *very* vibrant on twitter (or 'X', now, I guess). So if you're up for the latest and greatest, it's usually there. Not sure if you use that platform tho.

[epersonae]

Because you said we could ask anything I wanted to ask about the whole meta level to the whole "rpf but not rpf" thing? I feel dense for not picking up on whatever is being commented on but I haven't been able to pinpoint anything.

Then again I'm not an RPF person at ALL but I've been following your stuff and I blew through WFU like it was nothing so there must be something special going on.

Before I get into it, this is the first time I've tried to put any of these thoughts in writing other than in rambly DMs, mostly I've thought about this out loud or talked in voice chat or a few times in person, so it may be a bit incoherent!

I'm also tagging in @gaypiratebrainrot, who I'm sure will have a quite different but intersecting take - I took what they did and ran with it in my own way. (I feel exceptionally fortunate to have had them both as an editor and as a friend who encouraged my various ramblings on this topic.)

That said, below the cut are my thoughts about the "meta level", which I think fall into two categories: constructing characters and the role of fanfiction inside of the story.

First, the whole process of constructing characters. For me, it was a very deliberate thing; with Ed and Stede, it's figuring out how to balance the canon characters and (the public perception of) the people who perform them. This, with the bonus complication of the actors having talked about how they feel about the characters in relationship to themselves, for me at least makes for a very self-aware writing experience. (And an entirely new conception of parasociality, I think it permanently changed my mental landscape!)

In WFU this is also addressed directly in the text by the characters themselves talking about AUs:

“It’s sort of like, you take the essence of the characters and their dynamic, and see how they might behave in different worlds,” Wee John says. “It’s experimental. You’ve got your coffee shop alternate universes, your sci-fi alternate universes, your actor alternate universes—” “Yeah, but, like, isn’t this the actor alternate universe,” Frenchie says, gesturing around them. “Like, Stede and Ed are kinda like alternate timeline Rhys and Taika.” “No, no,” Wee John says. “It’s all about transporting enough elements of the character for it to read like the same person, just living a different life. You couldn’t just write a story about Ed and Stede and call them Rhys and Taika.” “It’s kinda like, reinforcing the idea of some inherent self, though,” Frenchie says. “Like, as if we have some kind of soul that would be consistent across circumstances, instead of all of us being dynamic living bodies that are massively shaped by the events of our lives. Whole thing sorta reeks of cartesian dualism.”

There was a great post that I saw recently that talked about AUs and understanding what are the core aspects of characters in the canon and how to translate them into a new setting, using the term "concretes", which I immediately added to my vocabulary. So these guys, WFU Ed and WFU Stede, have this strange mix of concretes (both canon and fanon), and in writing my piece, I'm also trying to match the concretes of WFU while expanding out the universe that they exist in. (This is true to a lesser extent of other characters who have a one-to-one match canon to IRL, which hasn't yet come up in my work but does a little bit later tho it is in my other fic of WFU, a secret third thing.)

Which leads me to the construction of Mary and the unnamed wife (her interior-to-my-head name is Carlita, fwiw; I actually have a "alignment chart" of variations of her name that maybe I'll throw onto this post) - because they don't match that pattern. Which made me conscious on a different level of how I was creating these amalgams: the vanishingly small amount of information I know about either Rosie Carnahan-Darby or Rita Ora or Carly Rae Jepsen, and deliberately so! I didn't want to write RPF; I wanted to match the not quite one thing or the other of WFU, and so these two women are amalgams in a different way, with different ingredients, and they're also constructed from archetypes: the Manager Wife and the Pop Star, and the whole cultural soup around those ideas.

(I have a whole separate thought about the character of Javid Denkins but that's kind of a spoiler at this point. tl;dr: It's a very goddamn funny joke that ends up having bonus meaning.)

I am forever grateful for a specific little bit of canon that was in WFU, because it let me do something different in my work: Ed takes his coffee with seven sugars (and a little bit of godawful creamer), and so when Mary and the wife meet and have coffee, suddenly that has meaning in comparison to Ed. A canon bit of goofery can become something about diet culture, and that gets to be a whole new thematic thread through the story.

And then there's fanfiction as a story element within the fanfiction. We handle it very differently, I think, between my work and WFU, because we're looking at different aspects and from different perspectives. Among other things, it fundamentally changed my approach to learn that both Rita and Carly Rae had RPF written about them over a decade ago, when both women were in their 20s.

But in both cases, fanfiction is woven through as both contrast and mirror to the story, which is of course itself fanfiction. In both stories, Ed's fic reading habits say something about him and Mary's attitudes (about RPF in particular!) say something about her. The wife's reactions to both of these things, as well as her prior experience, shape how she interacts with them. The existence of tropes or characters say something about us, the readers and writers, as well as about the world that these stories' characters live in.

For me, both the fanfiction element and the character construction end up being partially about how much is it ever possible to know anything about another person. The obvious limits, in the case of someone who is in the public eye - I love this bit from WFU: "built [...] from a handful of Youtube interviews, my Twitter feed, and a level of horniness that would fix the climate crisis if only we could harness it for renewables", and I started joking that the wife was "three youtube videos and an architectural digest article in a trenchcoat", even though it's quite a bit more complicated than that.

But not just famous people: Mary makes assumptions about Ed and his wife based on their public personas; Ed makes assumptions about Mary based on pieces of past history through the lens of his feelings for Stede, and the wife's exploration includes piecing together information from Mary's social media and Ed's fic reading habits. All we can ever know about another person is what we observe, whether that's a public persona or their words and behavior. (There's a secret third level of how much can one ever know about oneself, but that's probably a different post.) And that circles back around to the writer and the reader: how much do we know about the canon characters? the famous people? the characters in the story?

(MASSIVE shout out to the phenomenal beta team of @gaypiratebrainrot, @veeagainsttheday, and @emi--rose for pointing out where I needed to really boost this question of who knows how much of what and when. Their incredibly smart observations did so much to help me bring out that theme among others.)

I don't know if that even answers your question, but it's some of the extra material that's been in my head as I've been writing and editing. I also had never read any RPF (with the curious exception of a notable No Reservations - Narnia crossover) before WFU and it basically melted my brain, which I have continued to process through the experience of writing for the benefit of all the broken hearts. So yeah, something different going on here for sure.

[watchingblsnowandforever]

*blows into a paper bag repeatedly*

I just need a moment.

I was squealing all through today's episode. If I start writing a meta as long as yesterday's, my fingers are gonna fall off because i liked every single thing. So here's an abriged version.

What I liked most is not only are they validating and making canon every fanfiction, they picked the top few to actually show.

I'm just imagining them going on ao3 and taking down notes from the most used tropes and headcanons.

I mean, Kajorn and Phat? Secretly dating TiwPor?

What I also liked is the hint here that in any Universe, Tinn fell first. Or in the original Universe, Gun fell first. I'm happy with either.

My prediction that this scene would be more funnier than the original one? Well, feels good to be right. "Hi, Mr. Handsome President"? They're so whipped for each other.

I also like how the bold, confident Tiw is a little shy babygirl here :D

One scene I was hoping would be a little different is the jogging scene; what if Gun carried Tinn in this one? I'm not unhappy with this one, but just a thought.

This is my favourite scene:

[Unmute :D Do NOT repost; I'll do more than find you]

In the original show, when Gun's mother tells him everything Tinn has done for him and he goes to search for the school president and the realization for that one moment that he might've lost him for good: that is when Gun really falls for Tinn.

Here, while it is similar, like everything in this universe, it is also slightly different. This time, they both run towards each other, and Tinn asks Gun to cross the line: a confession in his own way. In the og universe, Tinn had crossed the line first.

I loved that whole scene, especially the little references to their romantic moments in the og universe.

Speaking of the hospital scene, I'm glad they didn't use the same trope twice and Mae was only sleeping.

Moving on to the MV. When Por was announcing the couples, I was like wait. wAIT A MINUTE 😶🤨

It took me all of three whole seconds to make out the series. I don't know what to make of that.

If you haven't realized the series yet (very unlikely that you don't know at least one of them), they are He's Coming To Me (Tinn and Gun), Bad Buddy (Sound and Win) and A Tale Of A Thousand Stars (Tiwson and Por). All of these, are, coincidentally directed by the one and only P'Aof.

I was not surprised at the Bad Buddy scenes they chose, but I was a little surprised to see the rooftop scene without angst in the next few seconds (that SoundWin scene counts as a confession and not angst). The original scene had made me cry and I'd stopped watching the series all together when something brought me back and I'm eternally grateful I returned.

Anything else? Hmm..

Oh yes, I liked the glimpse into the future. And that doll and the fact that Gun is a jealous boyfriend in every Universe and Tinn loves him for it.

I have made four clips today and all of the remaining three are linked in this post.

If you want more clips, requests are always open :D

Fun fact: I can make gifs but don't simply because I prefer clips.

[satur9-if]

The Meta Trio when having captured MC a swarm of nanomachines comes out and repairs them before unleashing a massive blast of electricity making them back up and see MC's real appearance as a fiend (except the nanomachines they use arent from the shriek and their model is part of an experimental and super advanced model of the same type of Android MC is, they kinda look like one of the androids from Signalis but very different and has oni horns).

They look at the The Trio and they go from frown to anger before snapping their fingers and the entire area gets consumed in a mysterious energy that teleports them, a kanabo appears in MC's hand as two massive androids appear from the shadows and both massive android charge towards both Marshal and Hellhound before MC charges at Rook slamming their lightning charged club at his arm which meets the club which cuts through the armor and proceeds to shatter his arm and dislocates his shoulder, the second android transforms into a hellhound and mauls Hellhound and Marshal gets slammed hard against the ground.

Long story short they get knocked out and when they wake up their patched up and in a comfy bed before they hear kissing and see MC making out with Hellhound before they realize their awake How would Marshal and Rook react to that and MC giving Hellhound a silent look of understanding (they had a long talk with them about their SA experiences since they saw Hellhound's memories and Rook's response is what lead to MC beating the ever living shit out of him) before agreeing to help them with their mission with a couple of conditions one of them is they want to buy Hellhound their freedom (they already did remove the bomb while they where knocked out).

Look, I appreciate the effort and enthusiasm, but that's fanfiction rather than a question. We have a place for that. I'll gladly read whatever you come up with, but there are better locations for it than my inbox.

[perfworldweek]

Hello, and welcome to the PerfectWorldShipping Week Tumblr!

The current edition will run between February 5th and February 11th, to celebrate the 3rd year anniversary of the Give and Take event in Pokémon Masters.

For the sake of mobile users who only browse Tumblr through the app, I'll copy-paste the guidelines and prompt list under a cut.

If you have questions about the event, please feel free to ask.

We are also on Twitter.

Your mods are @insecateur & @jonphaedrus.

GUIDELINES

Please read over these carefully. This is a laid-back event with simple guidelines.

Please tag your work(s) #perfworldweek2024 or use the hashtag #perfworldweek2024 when posting on Twitter. That way, we can find and share them! Untagged fills will not be reblogged/retweeted. You can also @ us on both Tumblr or Twitter. We also have an AO3 collection for fanfiction if you’d like!

Works must involve Lysandre & Augustine together. Mentions of other ships are okay, but please keep the spotlight on them so as to fit the theme of the week. Both フラプラ and プラフラ are welcome.

All types of works are allowed in any language. This includes art, fic, fanmixes, meta, edits of canon art, musical compositions, etc. As the goal of the week is to create more things, it’s preferred that your work(s) be new and/or created specifically for the event. Please only use material that you have created yourself or that you have explicit permission to use.

NSFW works are allowed. To try and keep the tags SFW, please post censored previews for visual based NSFW works with a link to the full work, and please tag and warn for your fills accordingly.

Each day involves two themes. You can pick one, do both, or even do something completely unrelated. Doing themes late or early is also allowed, as well as submitting content after the week is over. Starting in advance is also alright, you have no obligation to create your work within the day.

If you have any other concerns, or if something feels unclear to you, feel free to message the blog or @ us on Twitter.

PROMPT LIST

DAY 1:

travelling / hot weather

voyage / temps chaud

旅行 / 暑い天気

여행 / 더운 날씨

DAY 2:

grief / acceptance

deuil / acceptation

悲しみ / 受容

큰 슬픔 / 수용

DAY 3:

pokémon battle / shared hobbies

combat pokémon / passe-temps en commun

ポケモンバトル / 共通の趣味

포켓몬 배틀 / 공유 된 취미

DAY 4:

shopping / gift-giving

emplettes / cadeaux

買物 / プレゼントする

쇼핑 / 선물하기

DAY 5:

roleswap / genderswap

roleswap / genderswap

逆転AU / 女体化

롤스왑AU / 여체화

DAY 6:

AU / free day*

UA / choix libre

パラレル / 〇〇

평행세계 / 자유선택

DAY 7:

give&take / reunion

donner&prendre / retrouvailles

与えるものと奪うもの / 再会

주는 자와 뺏는 자 / 재회

* feel free to create anything you want, or use one of the prompts you missed!

Thank you, and have fun!

[thegirlwhowrites642]

hi, I hope you are well. I just want to tell you how awesome you and this blog are. I was just reading your metas they were just mind blowing.

You have a such a great understanding of the characters especially harry and ginny. They are very underrated as a couple. My heart swell with happiness whenever I read your post about them.

Your metas are quite unique and refreshing I know I am going to come again and again to read those metas.

Also, I really loved your percy and Audrey fic. I usually dont read anything outside hinny and jily. But this fic was just amazing.

"Don't hate me" made me cry especially when Ginny told harry not to die. I wanted to hug both of them.

"The name of Ginny potter's kids" was also my fav. I cried during Albus' section. And also Sirius shipping hinny cheff kiss.

"I am sorry too" love this. I firmly believe ron and Ginny love each other despite their fights. Thank you for this.

thank you for sharing these wonderful metas and fics.

This is the sweetest thing! Thank you so much!

I've taken a step back from posting because of... life and also sometimes this fandom gets a little too much for my mental health but I had to get out of hibernation to answer this.

I was actually considering closing my asks for a while because I literally have 52 asks to answer but I'm glad I didn't.

Receiving this kind of message is really beautiful because, as much as like answering people's questions, often they kind of forget that I'm a real person and ask things like I'm a machine you can just get an analysis from with a little coin (I wish there were coins involved actually XD). It's a little dehumanizing.

I'm so very glad you like my Percy/Audrey fic. I honestly fell in love with the characterization I built for Audrey to the point that I'm considering expanding it and using it for an original story.

That line in "Don't hate me" is me being a cruel writer which is very much my style even if you can't really see it from my fanfictions. Also, like every writer, I'm a monster who feeds on readers' tears.

The late-night talks between Sirius and Ginny are hands down the best "trope" this fandom has ever created and I actually hope one day I'll manage to write the full scene I reference there because I don't think you can really call yourself a hinny writer if you haven't written your own version of Sirius and Ginny's late-night talks.

The relationship between Ron and Ginny is so personal to me, I love them!

Again, thank you so much for this lovely message.

[terapsina]

Fanfic writer ask game: 4, 8, 15, 16, 18

4. Do you prefer writing multi-chapter or oneshot fanfictions?

It really rather depends. Writing multi-chapter stories is certainly a lot more stressful (the sad line of my old dropped attempts rather showcase that).

But at the same time my longer stories do bring me bigger amounts of joy I guess. I get INVESTED in them.

But I also love writing short little drabbles that are like me baking a cookie, instead of a line of cakes. So I guess I like writing both, it's just about what I'm in the mood for.

8. What kind of document do you use to you write? Microsoft Word? Google Docs? Straight in the AO3 text box?

No, I'm a true savage, I write straight on Tumblr and make frequent use of 'save as draft' (I have an explanation to this, I used to write more TV show meta posts when I joined the hellsite, and I got so used to this particular font, in this particular size, on this particular background that writing anywhere else gets so distracting I might as well give up).

I do last edits in AO3 drafts though 🥺 that makes everything okay, right?

15. Are there words, phrases, mannerisms or scenes you tend to use a lot?

Ugh, the bane of my existence is how when I write and come up with a word that fits, the word somehow gets stuck in my mind and I'll find it used again two paragraphs down. And I don't notice until I do a reread aloud in editing. At which point I tend to google a bunch of synonyms.

Also: 'burst into laughter', 'choked back her tears', 'swallowed past the stone in her throat'. Also also my characters tend to raise their eyebrows and roll their eyes a lot, I think.

16. How long is your longest fic?

31'060 words as of yesterday, She's Come Undone and Set Free. Who knew how invested I'd get into letting Elena be angry; having Caroline dealing with her s1 trauma; making TVD era Rebekah get actual friends; and (most recently) giving Bonnie a properly interesting love interest *cough*Rebekah*cough*. (I already knew I could get invested in Elejah, that one wasn't a surprise).

18. Recommend someone else fic! (And tag them if they have a tumblr!)

This question is confusing but I'll take it to mean I should recommend someone else's fic to everyone who reads this.

Okay. I'm gonna narrow it down to TVD/Legacies fics because that's what I'm recently writing myself and if I don't put some kind of theme limit I'll get a headache.

We Remain by AnonymousObsesser - Elejah, starts during American Gothic and then goes a completely different way (I have read the first three chapters at least 5 times, the Elejah feelings are seriously top-notch).

A Year to Eternity? by @missnmikaelson - Elejah, Klaroline, a bit of Bonnie/Kol, a bit of Handon - Starts out during 5x12 of The Originals. But with TVD had a different ending (Elena isn't married to certain people for example and I love it). Neither Elijah, nor Klaus die because that's stupid (Caroline yells a bunch at Klaus about it, Elena's blood is always the magic cure we should all know this: "To seal the Hollow away we need the willing support of Elena Gilbert." Amusement sparkled in his eyes. "I'm asking about your knees, Nik, because you're about to grovel on them.").

plastic crown by @jennifersminds - Elejah but not as the focus, the focus is Elena runs away from the Salvatores (Rebekah gives her a car, Elena ends up in Vegas, I honestly don't know how to describe it, the story just has a very unique imagery) and tries to build herself back up. Trauma. Vengeance. Female friendship. Strip clubs and slight bit of vampiric serial killing. Oh, just read it, you'll understand.

(I think the three above mentioned fics can probably be blamed for me starting to write She's Come Undone).

tis the season for a kidnapping by @vorpalmuchness - Elejah, Elena gets kidnapped by a couple of idiots whose information is a BIT out of date (they call Elijah and expect gratitude is what I mean, those poor poor morons). And I LOVE it.

being unwanted (and wanting too much); by @natalia-dyer - Post s4 Hizzie, basically Lizzie coming to her great lesbian awakening/acceptance of self as she realizes why none of the guys were ever quite right.

Torn by the hours by @isagrimorie - (if you don't think I absolutely love that fic, you are WRONG, it lives in MY head rent free). Hizzie, with Lizzie waking up in the middle of the battlefield where Hope has pulled a full on massacre because she thought Lizzie was dead? I am RABID for this scene.

(okay, it's possible I overdid it a lil'bit).

[greenhikingboots]

For the Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask : 🥺, 🎢, 💖, 🦅 Thank you🥰

LoulaNorth! Who leaves the most wonderful comments on AO3. Hello, darling! Thanks for the ask. Always fun to play along with these things. This is my Jonsa page, so I'm going to focus on Jonsa fics for these answers. Also my laptop is being wonky, so I couldn't link the post being refrenced. I'll try to remember to add it in the replies later. Here goes! - Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your chaters that never fails to put you in your feels? Oh goodness. I love a good confession of feelings scene. I had a lot of fun with my Jonsa one-shot, A Boy in His Cups, because it's a remaging of Jon's first POV chapter in AGOT, where he already knows the truth about his parnets. Which meant he was super in his feels in that fic. A mix of woe is me self-pity but also self-righteous, I'm better than Joffrey and Sansa should be mine. And pining! Basically, I just love having all that going on at once, in the middle of admitting feelings because -- ah! -- they're so strong the character just can't hold them back anymore. Such fun. - Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride? I'll go with the first Jonsa fic I ever started writing which was called For Better Dreams. It's taken down now, but I hope to eventually rework it and republish it. It was show inspired, a S6-8 fix it of sorts, but as I was writing it I was reading the books for the first time and reading so many amazing metas here on Tumblr. And that sort of made me lose interest in writing about show elements I'm no longer confident will be included in the final books (if they're ever finished). So I quit that fic when it was about 75% done with it even though I was very proud of the quality of writing I'd written. Since I hope to go back to it eventually, I guess that means the wild ride isn't over yet. - What made you start writing? I wrote for a different fandom for 8 or 9 months before I started writing for Jonsa. What made me want to write for that one was a desire to see more fics with a particular element of canon-compliance that I liked but thought was too often overlooked. What made me start writing Jonsa? Nothing too specific I guess. I read a couple one-shots that I liked and was basically like, "Yup! Let me get in on this action!" - Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants? I outline but it's a very loose outline. As I write the chapters in more detail, some pieces get moved, some get removed altogehter, a lot get added. I also relate to GRRM saying he's a "gardener" when he writes -- sometimes I plant little ideas I'm not 100% sure how I'll use later on, but I do it anyway because it makes the characters and their situations more flushed out, which I like. Plus, I've been trying to remind myself that fanfiction is supposed to be fun. Stories don't have to be completlely polished and perfect to be enjoyable for both writers and readers. That's all I got. Thanks so much, Loula. I'm flattered you wanted to know. 🥰

[underwhelmingalchemist]

Actually, I love being a cluttered person.

I love spending time in my room filled with pillows and shelves of knick-knacks where everything is decorated for Christmas and is lit by red LED lights

I love having a closet that can accommodate every aesthetic from jeans and a t-shirt to cottagecore scene kid to forest gremlin to full lolita coord and never sticking to any single aesthetic, even if I'm reusing the same core pieces over and over

I love teaching myself to sing, and to make edits, and bake things I've never made before, and sew, and craft with foam, and make props and costume pieces, and crochet, and fold paper stars, and write new genres, and learn about odd bits of culture and history, and cosplaying and making videos and dancing and anything else that might strike my interest all at once

I love listening to every genre of music and having my playlist skip from metal to bubblegum pop to country, without any particular devotion to any one artist or band, picking up bits and pieces from every tiktok I come across or album that was recommended to be years ago or music my mom used to listen to when I was a kid

I love consuming any media that catches my interest, from anime to indie films to marvel movies to media analysis to children's cartoons to documentaries to video essays to tiktoks to podcasts without any visuals at all

I love being in a hundred fandoms all at once, and creating content for as many as I can and cosplaying and writing meta posts and making video edits and memes and shitposts and writing fanfiction for dozens of pairings, plenty of which involving the same characters shipped with different people because I can't choose just one

I love my blog of random bits and bobs I've collected, with shitposts followed by fandom pieces and poetic phrases and a video that made me laugh

I love my gender and all its messy complexities, and how I want to go on T but still wear lolita and skirts and makeup but also do drag in both the king and queen categories and put on a performance both onstage and off that seems both feminine and masculine and some secret third option and it's all so chaotically off-putting but makes everyone around me gradually feel more at ease with themselves

I love my attraction and how I'm ace but also enthralled by the concepts of kink and romantically attracted to whoever my mind feels like that day, with preferences that swirl and shift in some nebulous cloud of identity that nobody could ever quite figure out, least of all me

I love dating two people and getting to text my boyfriend about my day and talk to my queerplatonic girlfriend about her plans to marry her boyfriend and tell both of my partners that I love them and kissing them and making plans for the future with both of them

I love my body with all of its squishy curves and rolls, and getting to decorate and customize it however I want, whether it's putting stickers on it or dressing it up in fun outfits or putting color around my eyes and painting on little designs

I love being talkative and knowing a little bit about everything because I remember reading about it a while ago, just like I remember when someone tells me about their favorite TV show or how they had a fight with their boyfriend a couple weeks ago or if they just started a new game, and crying with people in the same day I'll laugh with someone different

I love doing a hundred things at once, and putting on a podcast on while I play video games and monitoring my texts and discord servers I'm in, and finding the most overstimulating music to blast through my favorite pair of earbuds just because I like the bass and how it crunches

I love using language in ways that might seem a bit out of place, like trying to make things fit in a box together and saying I'm 'Tetris-ing it together" or calling certain sounds "crunchy" or telling my boss that I "had to go on a sidequest" when I had to deviate from what I was told to do, or just using the word "scrungly" at all

All of this makes up who I am, each piece making up a small part of a larger whole, no one bit able to exist without the other

I love all my clutter, no matter what form it takes

And I love being a cluttered person.