#is this some of the music i regularly listen to? maybe BUT STILL THATS NOT THE POIN

[butwilltherebealcohol]

oh, to be a thin white man in a mediocre angsty rock band

[gettinontopic]

This is so transphobic like what the hell is this

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[Image Id: A large addition to a tumblr poat reading "Also if I'm going to be honest, passing as a man is also just easier than passing as a woman. The rules to being a man and passing as a man are much more lenient than being a woman or passing as a woman. Trans women have to worry about shit like "I need to wear an outfit that distracts people from the fact I have an adams apple, and not allow people to see that I have shoulders, and learn makeup and basically become a voice actor and etc. and maybe I won't be called a man today" (and if you pass too well and the wrong cis guy feels guilty about being attracted to you, you get murdered meanwhile if you're a trans guy and you wanna pass as a man, you gotta like have short hair and hide or remove your boobs and at this point you can already just go to the grocery store and most people will see you as a man. Once you get facial hair and a deeper voice, most people will just see you as some guy. Like I don't understand why transmascs insist on this idea that they could never really pass. Like the idea that trans man who passes is almost far-fetched. Weird as hell." End Id]

Lets upack this shall we?

1."Passing as a man is easier than passing as a woman"

No it's not. The rules to being a man and passing as a men as strict as lots of rules for women. Have you ever seen a cis guys who fails to pass? They're called names, theyre physically beat, and theyre often ostracized from their cis peers just as fast as any trans person. Cis boys cant even pass half the time by the rules they made. Quit fucking lying about men just magically having it so easy.

Your experiences as passing as a man aren't universal and if you've never passed as one what makes you think it's fucking easy?

Also god forbid you're a black man, or a black man who is into something deemed feminine. Shit I've seen guys call black men women for wearing a damn hair bonnet.

Oh not to mention I'm only a man to transphobes when they can call me a "dangerous black man" only to switch back to tryibg to detransition me by saying "you can just be a masc girl!"

2.Adams apple

While you have to hide yours, I have to wear shit that distracts people that I *don't* have one. Cause, and I know this is wild, if they expect you not to have one for being a women, what do they expect me to have for being a man? Hmm? And if you're a man who's adams apple never came in? I've seen them called girls to. Shit I've heard a guy called not manly for missing his, and he was still in puberty!!

3.Shoulders

While you have to hide you shoulders, I have to do whatever I can to have the.. small shoulders on men? maybe if youre in a "non manly" field like music or art, but I do gym work. I better look likeit regardless of the disability that effacts my muscles growth and development or I am called maam by every guy there. Which sucks btw.

4. Makeup and voice acting:

Trans men also are regularly advised to wear makeup that masculinizes them and do voice training. thats some of our oldest passing tips. thats litterally never been unique to trans women. what the FUCK kinda of implications are you trying to put out here?

5. Murder:

Hey did you know cis guys will murder trans men bc they were attracted to them and then found out they werent "real men" and then kill them. shit cis women also kill us if they find out they were attracted to us and we aren't their ideal man anymore. do u know how men who hear im butch and into women behave?

Fuck right the fuck off trying to tokenize the murder lf trans women while throwing trans men murders in the "that doesn't happen" bin.

6. How many times have we said short hair and no boobs dont fucking automatically gets us gendered correcly!! We have voices that have to be trained, we have muscles were expected to build,and some men even watch the way you walk to guess if you have a dick or not.

Listen to any trans men. any of us for five minutes. those things do not making an easily passing trans man fuck you for lying about our experiences as not a trans man.

7. "You gotta like have short hair or remove your boobs"

Untrue! just Untrue. we also have to preform the rules of manhood really well. ive seen beareded transmen clocked for like so many different other reasons and you wouldn't listen to those men if it would save all trans people lives forever. cis men constantly dig at other men presentation to keep each other in line. Its a regular for them.

Also: not all of want to pass with those features. I deserve to have long hair and not bind and still pass as a man and you suck for defining everything around passing.

8. I don't know why you insist on this idea that trans women never really pass without obscene work (when ive met trans women that admit they have it easy by throwing on a dress and wearing her hair down) and that all trans men who have ascess to transition magically do pass (When multiple of us transitioning have said we dont)

If we can't talk about the ones who don't pass then you kinda can just sweep away the idea we don't face discrimination or danger and that's getting us killed actually.

None of us have said we can all never really pass any who say they can't are usually speaking on their own experiences. Because you want us all to pass so bad you don't care that we don't, and that it gets us backlash and hurt.

Also, if you ever read this, kiss my black ass and go reevaluate what makes you think you should speak on experiences that aint yours as if you're the one with the Hard Cold Facts.

[barrysheoghan]

okay i was on the train zoning out when this scenario came up in my mind....... toxic!felix enthusiasts where you all at???

(sorry for any mistakes or incoherences, feel free to correct anything that seems wrong)

— cattonquick modern au where felix is very jealous and violent

ollie works at some bookselling place even though felix told him he didnt have to cause he's rich and he can provide for his boyfie yk. but ollie wants to do something productive during the day and he loves books so.... anyway, one night he asks felix if he can come pick him up since his shift ends quite late and felix obviously agrees cause he gets to show off his big expensive car and impress ollie's colleagues (of whom hes been jealous ever since ollie started mentioning having fun at work etc etc, especially of that one guy with whom ollie chats sometimes via text. yes, he regularly looks into ollie's phone, so what? thats what couples do.).

its 9:30pm, felix is right on time, parked in front of ollie's workplace, waiting. minutes go by and soon its 10pm and still no ollie in sight. they should have been home by now. one thing about felix : he hates waiting. and ollie's supposed to know that. he turns up the volume of the music he was listening to to match the anger that's quickly building up in his chest, making him sigh repeatedly, tap on the wheel and furiously chew on his nails. he also wants to make his presence known and hopes the loud noise will somehow make ollie get out faster.

what is he doing, for fuck sake. he grabs his phone and opens up his text message app, immediately landing on him and ollie's convo. he never replies to anyone else's texts so...

"Its been 30mins. Where are you?"

about five minutes later, the door opens up and ollie is finally out. felix stares, assuming he's going to rush to his car and apologize for being so late but, no, he lingers by the door. in fact, he's holding that door, clearly waiting for someone. soon enough, a silhouette appears and closes the shop after them. ollie stands there the whole time, waiting like a puppy, and felix can't believe his fucking eyes. he's literally fuming, his brain making up the worst scenarios of why ollie could possibly be late. and of course it involves him getting railed by his coworker.

ollie finally notices felix's car and jogs towards it. he opens up the passenger door and frowns at the loud music. felix thinks he's gonna get in quickly but he doesn't seem to want to leave. he slowly turns down the volume, not looking at ollie for one sec.

"hey! sorry im late! we were just gonna go to that one bar down the street. wanna come?" ollie says, a smile on his face, completely clueless.

"get in the fucking car." felix's voice is at its lowest pitch. he's trying to stay in control but his hands, so tightly clenched around the wheel, show that he's struggling to keep it together.

"what.... whats going on, felix?"

"don't make me say it again."

ollie gulps. felix is mad, and it doesn't look like one of his usual tantrums. he knows he should keep it low and do as he's told but he's had such a great day and he just doesn't want it to end! maybe he can get felix to calm down? he softens his tone.

"come on babe... let's go out! we'll have fun!" he leans in to put his hand on felix's arm, gently squeezing it.

the next second, he's forced into the car. felix's hand cups his cheeks, but not in a cute loving way. he's practically crushing ollie's jaw between his fingers. ollie's glasses have fallen somewhere on the car's floor and he can feel panic take over him. panic and........ some other tickling sensation he's quite fond of.

"you're hurting me-"

"shut the fuck up, ollie. shut your stupid fucking mouth. I've been waiting for your useless ass for half an hour and you think you can just come up to me all bubbly and nice and ask if i want to go have fun with you and some bitch who clearly wants to fuck you?" he's now yelling right in his face. "you wanna have fun? we'll have fun. just the two of us. at home."

he lets go of his face and reaches to close the door on ollie's side. his coworker is just standing there and watching them, looking really concerned.

"and don't you dare look at him. i'll break your nose and slaughter him." felix threatens, turning on the engine.

on the ride back home, ollie tries to make himself as small as possible, keeping his head down, shoulders in and, of course, squeezing his legs very, very tight. he has a vague idea of what's waiting for him once they get home and, boy, it's exciting.

the next day, he comes to work to hand in his resignation letter.

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

haedcanoms ..... fro anyome yuo can thimkdj of 🙏🙏🙏🙏💥💯💯

this is gonna be. a big block of text. uve enabled me and now im gonna talk for forever. uh. :3333 (also a shit ton of my hcs are just me projecring shjt so.)

okayyyy uh. dave went to private school for like. 4 years. he didnt follow any rules and wouldve definitly gotten expelled ljke 2 weeks in but bro strider is. so fucking rich so he just payed to keep him kn. he still had to wear those stupid ass uniforms tho and now he absolutely hates wearing polo shirts. fuckinf despises them.

sollux??? massive h*r fan he makes a shit ton of uber obscure references that like no one gets but him and he makes liek anyone hes ever had a positive interaction with watch it. aradia also likes it bc he made it like impossible not to if youre close enough to him. he kinda got terezi in2 it and she really likes trogdor.ike REALLY likes trogdor.

speaking of aradia and sollux aradias like a massive goth music fan and they listen to that stuff together like all the time. he listens to more,,, mainstream ig stuff regularly but then aradia makes him listen to her entire collection whenever theyre together

Jane can speak french,,, shes not french or anything in thr SLIGHTEST but she learned it bc like. idk desserts are french sometimes. and she just randomly starts speaking french to be annoying n fuck with ppl. roxys learned a little bit from her so sometimes she does too but. rarely.

terezi sollux and feferi friendship 🙏🙏 thsyre so. important to me. i dont remember how much they imteract all together in canom ik jts at least once but... theyre literally a version of the primary colors please thsyrs so friedn group that youd think would hate eachother but they surprisingly dont

jane crochets also alongside baking. she makes people shit like. all the time and probably spends way too much on yarn. she does it while watching all those dumb sitcoms??? whatever theyte called (like parks and rec and arrwsted development and the good place. that stuff). she also sometimes hamgs out with rose and they crochet/knit together

dirk and roxy make like the most shitpost stupid meme references (more often roxy) and like no one else gets them or rreally finds them funny bc theyre all from like. 2009. or ehatever while roxy n dirk are from. the future (i forgot when and no im not lokking jt up) roxy especially has like. dumb tumblr humor and will say the weirdest shit and no one will get it except dirk

feferi sends sollux videos like "t)(is reely reminds me of you ♥️" and then its a 5 minute jerma laighing at car crashes compilation or some shit.

dave makes that type of music that either sounds like actual shit or really good depending on the person. like uber expirimental fucked up random sfx dumbest lyrics ever etc etc (idk how to describe it but like. if uve listened to like.... queef jerkey thats what im imagining)

if were imagining that quest for the missing spoon exists in homestuck (since the comics do, plus theres other stuff like movies and plushes) dirk definityly had the pepsi blue chilis centerfold cutout on his wall. i also think him and maybe roxy??? quote that shit like not even on purpose CONSTANTLY since it was such a big franchise. also i think itd be funny if people talked ab it like how they talk ab harry potter and shit like "oh my god im SUCH a geromy."

aradia plays cello. like this absolutely fucking massive one too thats like deep reddish wood and its heavy as hell and it shouldnt be feesibly possible for her to carry it around but she can skmehos??? and shes really fucking good too. she likes 2 play for fer friends n partners

feferi adores tmbg esp their earlier stuff but she likes it all. shes got a playlist of every single one of their songs she could get ahold of and badically only listesns to that one playlist. she also knows a shit ton about the band itself and knows fun facts about like every song and will NOT hesitate to infodump whenever something slightly related comes up in conversation.

sollux LOVES classic tetris hes extremely fucking good at it and knows how to do all the weird shit w/ the controller like hypertapping and rolling and honestly probably made up something new. he basically only plays past killscreen (he found an nes somehow and hacked jt to let him start anywhere) and is the type of guy to be like "Oh yeah thii2 2hiit2 ea2y here II'll giive you a begiinner level two." and then. start you at level 29.

i have more i think but i cant remember any besides like "__ is a fan of "__ !!!!!" bc i just live projecting my interests onto characters. again sorry for so many words um. 💔

[ghoulfr13nd]

hi!! music anon 🎶 here! i wanted to start by wishing you happy 4/13!! :D in the spirit of homestuck day i have a very specific question! have you ever tried making hs aspect playlists? i used to make and listen to them regularly i had an obsession so i'm curious xd

and i suspect ud be back from the Crane Wives' concert by the time I send this ask so I hope it went well! :D (also I'm soo jelous of seeing Barnes Courtney live ;v; or in general the capability to go to concerts without system overload because as much as I like to dream about going to concerts I know with my sensory issues I wouldn't be able to survive for long without overstimulation and cutting it short 😔)

I totally get metal being overstimulating! even though I love it I still need to be in a right headspace and environment to listen to some of it! and you know, I think Worthikids could be in metal category but not all of his songs? he likes to mix genres soo maybe alternative music in general but yeah, i think kinda! (btw my all time favorite band is Rammstein (i've been listening to them since middle school!) I also really like Equilibrium (its folk metal!))

(oh yeah i decided to divide the part with me trying to read your ocs based on their playlists into different ask because it's pretty long and maybe this way it'd be easier to manage? i hope! 😭)

music anon my dearest i’m so damn sorry. i’m so sorry. i care you. you are my friend now. i so look forward to your asks.

happy belated 4/13 🥺 it is probably my favorite holiday (or would be if i i had any good traditions:( ) but to answer your question — I HAVE NOT CONSIDERED MAKING ASPECT PLAYLISTS. THATS SUCH A FUCKING HUGE BIG BRAINED IDEA. I WANT TO DO THAT SO BAD. i was OBSESSED with classpects back in the day so i think it would be fun to dig into that and really make playlists for different hero titles….

the crane wives concert was alright!!! the band was GREAT and i got a STELLAR tshirt but the traffic director in the parking lot convinced me to try a parking space i’d never have tried for in a million years and i scraped up the side of my car IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING!!! and it was all i could think about the whole time 😔 it is what it is

I’ve since gone to see Death Cab For Cutie/The Postal Service and Peter Bradley Adams!!!! I’ve been very excited to tell you about my other concerts. I really really enjoy going. have you ever considered wearing earplugs to concerts? I’ve heard that helps with some of the. yknow. how much everything is. if that makes sense. maybe that could be helpful to both of us!

do you have any specific songs you recommend from those bands? i want to give them a listen but i want to know what your favorites are!

(i also totally agree with your thoughts on worthikids but i dont have much else to say about it gjskdjdj)

i’m going to read your opinions of my ocs now (IVE BEEN REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS!!!)

[strawberry-jammers]

choir and kisses

a niki x reader school au, where there in choir together and have a project to work on. maybe they kiss? maybe

this baisically inspired my school au tbh

masterlist

Niki sat in her choir class, exhausted from her previous class. The kids were just too much to be around and didn't have the mental strength to deal with them sometimes. She opened her choir folder, putting it on her stand.

“Yo niki, you good?'' Wilbur says, sitting down next to her. “I'm fine, but Wilbur, you're not in this class. I thought you were in orchestra.” she answers, looking at the tall man. “I am, I just don't have a class right now so I decided to visit you.” niki nodded. “Oh right, seniors have free hours sometimes.” he nodded at niki’s statement, opening his phone. “Texting sally?” niki asks, making Wilbur blush. “No no I'm not.” niki laughs, turning to the front of the room when the bell rings.

“Alright everyone, we will be doing a group project today! Your gonna do a presentation of a musical and then sing a duet together! Your partners are posted on google classroom.” niki opened her phone, seeing who she was partnered with. Wilbur just sighed, staring at niki. “Mind if i hang with you and your partner?” wilbur asks. Niki nodded. “Yeah its fine. Seems like I'm partnered with your sibling!” wilbur just started laughing. “What are you laughing at?” he calmed down slightly. “It's just that you have the biggest crush on them, it's gonna be so funny.” niki blushed. “I don't have a crush on them! We’re friends, I don't like them like that wilbur.” he just laughed at this. “Niki, your blushing!” niki huffed. 

“Wilbur leave Nikki alone, besides we need to do work!” niki turned to see (y/n) yelling at their brother. “I'm still pissed at you for leaving me to deal with techno and tommy.” Wilbur laughs nervously. “I'll do your chores if you don't tell dad.” “deal!” (y/n) sits in the empty seat next to nikki.

“So, what musical do you want to do for the project? Note that we do have to do a duet.” (y/n) says, setting their folder down. “Maybe we could maybe do into the woods? It takes two isn't that hard of a song to do.” niki suggests. “Yeah, we can do that!” niki and (y/n) started to work on their presentation, getting what they needed before they had to leave for class. Wilbur occasionally budded in, bored out of his mind. 

“Maybe you should have chosen a different class wilbs. Maybe bother tommy.” (y/n) says, listening to the song they were gonna do. “I dont wanna hang out with Tommy, he's always bothering me about my music.” he crosses his arms and sinks into his chair. “Oh calm down, he's just excited.” niki says, gathering information on her phone. “Niki, you don't have any siblings, shoosh.” niki just laughs. 

Things went on like this, right until the class was nearly over. “Oh, niki, you should come over tonight to finish the project. We could practice the song as well!” (y/n) says, moving their chair for the orchestra class that was next. “Yeah, that would be great! I could come over after school?” niki asks. “Yeah, we can walk home together! Gotta make sure to leave Wilbur behind though, he would constantly complain if he were to come along.`` We laugh together. The bell soon rings. “Alright, see you after class ends!” (y/n) says, picking up their stuff. “See you then!” niki puts away her stuff and leaves soon after.

Class went on, (y/n) very excited that niki would be coming over, yet also very nervous. They knew Wilbur would just say something. (y/n) turned to techno, who was in their english class. “Techno, did you read the book we were supposed to read?” technoblade turned to them. “(y/n), this is the second time you're taking this class and you didn't read the book? Again?” (y/n) just glares at him. “I don't like the book, okay! Anyway, did you read it?” techno just sighs, nodding. (y/n) smiled. “Oh thank god! Okay, help me with the essay then.” techno agrees, knowing if they didn't pass, he would get in trouble for not helping.

After a half hour, the bell rings, signalling that school has ended. (y/n) picks up their things, heading to their locker. They see niki waiting for them there. “Did you get out of class early?” (y/n) asked, unlocking the locker. “Yeah, I asked the teacher and she said it was fine!” (y/n) shoves their things into their bag. “Well that's nice of her! Anyways, we better get moving or one of my brothers would force us to ride home with them.” niki nodded, closing (y/n)’s locker for them. They walked down the stairs, heading out of one of the school's many doors.

They walked home, talking about random things as they went along. “You ever think about getting run over when your crossing the road?” niki stared at (y/n), concerned at their comment. “No? Are you okay?” (y/n) nodded. “Yeah im fine.”

After ten minutes, they reach the minecrafts home, noticing that they weren't home yet. “Oh thank god, i forgot they had to pick up tubbo as well.” (y/n) says, opening the door. They both walked inside the dark home. “Im gonna get us some food, just head up to my room!” (y/n) says, taking off their shows and heading to the kitchen. “Alright!” niki says, taking of her own shoes and heading upstairs. Niki spotted a door that had the progressive flag on it. “Oh thats new!” niki says, entering (y/n)’s room. “Wow, their rooms changed since I was last here.

(y/n)’s room was painted (f/c), and had drawings and posters all over the room. They had a desk, with their pc and art stuff atop it. Their bed was unmade, having stuffed animals all over the place. Niki spotted a whale plushie seated on their pillow. “Aww they kept it!” niki had given it to them years ago, so she found it sweet that it was still there.

(y/n) soon came up, holding a bunch of snakes and some cokes. “Sorry this is all we had, tommy wont let us buy anything else.” (y/n) says, handing niki the coke. “Oh, that's alright!” they sit down on (y/n)’s bed. (y/n) sat their snakes on their desk, so as not to spill them all over. 

“Okay, we need to actually put the presentation together. You have the notes right?” niki nodded, grabbing her phone while (y/n) sat at their pc, not too far from the pink haired girl. “Okay, so we have-” they did this for a while, niki reading the notes while (y/n) wrote them into the google slide. It soon got to the part where they had to sing their song. 

“Okay, so I'll be the baker, and you can be the other one.” (y/n) says, opening the song for them to sing. “Okay, i can do that!'' They started the song, getting ready to sing.

“(Y/N) ARE YOU WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND???” (y/n) stops the song. “I swear to god I will kill tommy. NO JACKASS, WE’RE NOT DATING!!” niki tries to stifle a laugh. “ARE YOU SURE????'' Tommy responds, still downstairs. (y/n) glares at the laughing niki. “Sorry sorry.” niki says, still laughing. “IM POSITIVE, NOW SHUT UP WE’RE TRYING TO DO SOMETHING!!'' Tommy responds immediately. “ARE YOU TWO HAVING SEX??” niki chokes on her own spit, while (y/n) blushes profusely. “OH THAT'S IT, COME HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH!!” (y/n) says, jumping out of their chair, running downstairs to attack the child. Niki leaves as well, wanting to see (y/n) beat up a child.

She comes down the stairs to see (y/n) putting Tommy in a choke hold while techno cheered them on. Niki stands next to techno.

"Apologize! I'll take your Cds if you don't!!!" "No no not my disks!!"

Niki turns towards techno. "Does this regularly happen?" Techno nodded as a response. Niki turned back, seeing Tommy try to bite (y/n). "OH STOP IT RACOON CHILD!!" philza soon comes In and breaks them apart. "Awwe my free entertainment.'' Techno says. "Oh calm down. Tommy, please stop annoying your sibling. This is why you get choked.” Tommy pouts. “Okay phil.” philza glares at the young child. “Also, (y/n), next time, just punch him in the throat. You've learned from techno.” “HEY!'' Tommy says, offended. (y/n) laughs, “okay, will do dadza. Oh, what time is it?” techno looked at his phone. “Its close to 9 pm.” (y/n) pouts, going over to niki and clinging onto her. “Noooo, it can't be her time to leave.” niki giggles, patting (y/n)’s head. “I have to leave. I'll come over soon, okay?” (y/n) nodds, letting go. 

They go upstairs together, grabbing nikkis stuff. They go back downstairs to the front door. (y/n) and niki hug each other. “Are you coming back tomorrow?” (y/n) asked, letting go. “Yeah, we did never got to actually practice the song! I'll be over at 4 pm, like always.” (y/n) nodds. “Okay, well, see you tomorrow?” niki nodded, leaning over and kissing (y/n) on the cheek, making them blush. “Yep! See ya, bye!” she says, opening the door and closing it, leaving (y/n) a mess.

“Yep…” they say to themself, smiling happily. “YES!!!! I TOLD YOU THEIR GIRLFRIENDS!! PUSSY DIDN'T EVEN KISS HER THEMSELF HAHA!!” (y/n) turned around, running towards tommy. “COME BACK HERE AND SAY IT TO MY FACE YOU LITTLE BITCH!”

[greenplumbboblover]

Great minds wanted! (Part 1, Interests)

It’s been a while since I posted my first post on the ‘Interests & Hobbies’ mod! But I did do some stuff behind the scenes and currently am working on interactions :) Thus! Was wondering if anyone had some amazing ideas, feedback, etc for it. 

This is what I have so far (warning, this is SUPER long :p):

Interests: 

Environment:

Can install solar panels

Debate climate change

Consider veganism

Read up on environment

Collect rainwater (Unlocks a new object)

Worry about environment (Is a social interaction)

Donate to good causes

Can consider becoming part of a different energy company

Takes bike over car

IF FASHION INTEREST: Buy vintage clothes/second owned

Chooses to use the recycle bin more

Can plant trees on several locations

Can start own local market (Might require the money interest)

Compost trash (Although the lovely @anitmb made one already :))

Grown own garden gives boost

Refill cup for beverages/travelers mugs (So refillable bottle :))

Walk to lot interaction (Which nraas also covers actually)

Talk about renewable energy

Chooses public transport

Food:

Gets buff after visiting restaurant

“Visit random restaurants” interaction

Gets discount for restaurants after visiting then a few times

IF INTERESTS ANIMALS: train dog to find truffles (People apparently do this! :p)

Order fresh ingredient/ this being like these ‘weekly’ food boxes

Tour restaurant’s kitchen, gain recipe from that

Create signature dish

IF ENVIRONMENT: Start herb garden. This is like a small little plant box that you can keep indoors :)

Quicker in learning how to cook

Brewing skill (?)

Nectar tasting becoming a short skill? This resulting in increasing quality?

Write cookbook!

Practise latte art? (idk :p)

Food contest getting a come back!

Keep a ‘food’ aquarium like done in TS2 on console (Sounds awful I know :p But I can also see how it can be useful :))

IF I can do that, recreate ts2′s console cooking UI 

Buy from local market

Breadbaking skill? Or Baking rather ;) Because sourdough bread needs some love too!

Actual make it that the counters can Open. But that might be too much for this mod.

Weather:

Logging the weather (on a notepad or computer, phone. So basically figuring out the weather patterns)

IF SCIENCE: research weather machine

watching clouds

Discuss weather changes

Browse about clouds

Thats all I had :p...

Culture:

Gets buff when traveling

gets buff when talking to tourism

Gets buff on learning songs

Gets buff for any tourism things

Making/viewing photo album

Viewing art is a thing they love to do

Painting gives them a boost

Browse art/craft on phone/computer

Talking about art/culture

Read about art in newspaper

Research culture/art

Edit photos/add filter

Listening to music

IF FASHION: alter clothing (no idea how :p)

Discuss difference between cultures

Fashion:

For the mean simsies: Will nag about your clothing choice

Introduce ACTUAL clothing buying? But by basically unlocking outfits after you bought them (So other EA clothing you can still get when changing a sim’s outfit through the dresser and what not)

IF ENVIRONMENT INTEREST: Buy vintage clothes/second owned

Start a fashion blog

Design your own outfits? (So you pick a top/bottom/body and design an outfit out of that that you can suggest to other sims?)

Catwalks!

Research fashion

Start your own clothing brand 

Start your own clothing webshop?

Money: 

Check the stocks

Donates to government and such

Starting local market

Start partnership

Owning business/property will boost this

IF owning a business: Promote business

IF owning a business: Try to gain partners for the business

IF owning a business: Get more owners

Politics:

That’s where I got a bit stuck... but here are some thoughts:

Get people to be involved for protests

Do protests

Talk about politics

Start campaign

IF that campaign gets big, then have debates at the City hall

Paranormal:

Find mediums online

Feels a need to meet all occults

Feels super good to be around other occults

Does Ouija boards, spawning ghosts

Trying to find whether they’re ‘spiritually gifted’ or not

Gems will give them boosts and might give them interactions to heal sims with particular gems?

Hunt for UFO’s

Trying to feel the room for ‘paranormal energy’.

Health:

Goes into check ups regularly

Will want to go do fitness regularly 

Aaand that’s that really :p... Might merge this with ‘sports’

Travel: 

Honestly was thinking of merging this with Culture.

Crime:

Steal all the things!...

Or return all the stolen things from other sim!

Wants to talk to the police whether everything is going well

Wants to talk to criminals to figure out how ‘the business is going’

Help the criminals to dig a hole? :p

I honestly don’t know

Sports:

Host sports watching parties!

Wants to visit the games/watch the games on tv

Going to the gym is the best thing ever for them

Show off muscles to sims

Motivate people to participate in sports

Read sports news

playing sports with VR goggles

Train at random places

Buying a smart watch (like a fitbit) and will see the stats of a sim’s fitness routine in a nice UI Screen :)

Honestly, more ‘at home’ gym related workouts.

Entertainment:

Will want a subscription to be able to watch movies at home (because c’mon EA :p)

Loving to go to the theater! :)

Might want to take drama classes?

Will love to browse the internet about their favourite characters/movies

Animals:

Wants to show cute videos of animals

Might want to consider veganism?

Enjoys doing pet related activities

Bird watching

Penguin ts2 comeback :p

Feed the pigeons

In-home dog/cat trainer? Or where you’re like a ‘cat/dog’ whisperer :)

Work:

Nooo idea

School:

Also nooo idea :p

Toys: 

Same for that one 

Sci-Fi:

Research rockets

Research robots/AIs

Try summoning UFO’s (maybe even a UFO party where everyone is trying this?)

Can put on aluminum hats 

Meeting an alien is the best thing ever for them

Interactions for all:

Talk about interest...

Read section in newspaper...

[sashayaweh]

Sam and Bucky dance to this song after having to take refuge in a safe house during a particularly high stakes mission. Theres a record player and Sam makes this necessary senior citizen taunts when he catches Bucky's frequent glances towards where it sits on the wooden shelf. Eventually, Sam walls over to fiddle with it because Bucky insists on faking disinterest, but Sam really wants to see him being not-so-boring for once. It was rare to see the other man take interests in his surroundings, barring the hyperawareness that he had for every environment he found himself in.

Sam could almost imagine Bucky's robo-brain whirring to calculate all the exits, people, and vantage points for any possible threat. He never seemed to fully relax. Even sitting in a chair, he sat stiffly as if he was ready to leap out at at any moment. Sam could understand. He wasn't brainwashed and weaponized for 70 years, sure. But he has seen war and death. Things he'd rather forget. And he's felt fear. The initial fear of the thousand foot free falls, the fear of the police and the banks, and the fear of losing himself in it all. So, Sam gets the mental burden and understands how hard it is to leave once you're in.

So, he fiddles with the record player and pretends not to know how to work it. There's no other records visible, but luckily one is still in place. Bucky would eventually get irritated and put everything into place because he knows what Sam is doing. And he knows that Sam knows. Because Sam knows everything. Bucky assumes this from the amount of time the other man spends talking. So, he puts the record on like old times and ignores the lump trying to force its way up and the memories that resurface. Steve-

"You're lucky, man. Etta James, and a classic at that, talk about a two for one. Looks like our luck it starting to turn around, CP30," Sam smile toothily and Bucky wants to do do something to that gap in his teeth. He doesn't quite know what that is yet. Maybe punch it because Sam knows he doesn't understand that obvious reference. But Sam's smile soften to a close, and the corners curl at the edges as his head begins to sway with the notes. Like silk curtains, his eyes slip close in simple pleasure as if he was settling himself into the music.

Bucky watches and feels awkward. At some point, in the past, he would know what to do in the situation. He would know what to do with the violins and the soulful tones curling words of longing into the air. And tired fulfillment. Maybe, he would know what to do with Sam but he doubts it. Or at least how to...be himself. Maybe then they wouldn't argue for once. Sam opens his eyes and looks over to see Bucky who stood, stone faced and deep in thought. The focus of his hooded stare was intense and Sam scoffed. The other man was being broody again.

"Are you even listening to the music or did you zone out again?" He shifts, slightly elbowing his companion and Bucky blinks, his thoughts shifting back to the present.

"You started talking, I couldn't help myself," Bucky quips and Sam let's out a soft scoft that becomes a short laugh. Bucky feels his own lips twitch.

"You gotta relax, man. You could beat a piñata with the stick you have up your ass," Sam shakes his head. That wide tooth smile is back but this time its less cocky and a little more warm. Bucky rolls his eyes and looks away. He does that a lot. At least he understood the reference this time.

Sam sighs and stops the music. He replaces the needle at the original point and let's it go. After a few seconds of crackling silence, the song fills the room again. Sam slaps the back of his hand gently against Bucky's chest and steps back with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Wanna dance, old man?"

Bucky gently freezes in shock but Sam catches it because he expected it, really. Its why he asked in the first place. He wants to shake up that tightly wound exposure that Bucky has at all times. And he was bored. Bucky was not a talkative person and their current predicament left them without many sources for entertainment. It'd been hours since they arrived, yet Sam was feeling the time pass under his skin like an itch. He was exhausted and body weary, but it was better to stay awake so he could orient to the new time zone. As a result, he couldn't help but pester the other man.

"No."

Sam just kept looking at him. His gaze was sleepy, but a twinkle of the earlier mischief still shined through. Similarly, his skin reflected the warmth of the sun as it clung to the early evening and seeped through the windows. It was lucky that they got to be above ground this time.

The staring lasted a long moment. Like it always did. Then Sam shrugged.

"I know dancing may not be a particular talent of yours-" but before he could finish, Bucky was in his space and the rest of Sam's sentenced disappeared with some of his bravado. Bucky was fast and his sudden closeness wasn't expected given the man's reservations a second ago. The sudden adrenaline that had sparked through Sam's started to fade too. He wasn't scared of his companion, but the man's behavior was largely still a mystery to Sam which meant that sometimes he was caught off-guard.

Bucky raised his right hand out, brow arched expectantly, and Sam took it with caution. The man's other hand rose to hover a few inches above Sam's hip, and it took a few moments before he realized Bucky was waiting for permission. His cheeks warmed and he hoped his complexion made it less obvious. He gently guided the metal hand until Bucky settled it on the jut of his hip, the surface cool and smooth under his soft hold.

"Aren't you a gentleman? Thats that old-school chivalry," Sam teased. Bucky pulled their bodies closer and smirked wryly.

"I aim to please." A new song had started and Bucky briefly tore his attention from the heat he felt spreading along his front. He hadn't danced in a long time. Not like this.

The current song featured a masculine husk crooning affections for the listener. It was accompanied by the distinct, steady tempo of a piano. Bucky felt his body catch the music, the way he'd been taught, quickly adjusting to an appropriate rhythm. Sam followed without much of a pause, finally starting to settle into the feelings of sharing this foreign intimacy with the familiar stranger who was holding him so damn gently. Even so, Bucky gripped him firmly like he'd catch Sam if he even thought about falling.

It was...nice. Nicer than Sam (or either of them, really) had expected. He hadn't been held in who knows how long. He was too busy and had mostly outgrown flings, but it wouldn't be fair to a potential partner if he randomly left on long missions that required little to no contact with those who didn't have the clearance. But that was kind of an excuse. Since everything that had happened, Sam hasn't much felt like having others in his space. He was a social person and owned that, sure. But it was hard to open up authentically as much as he teased Bucky about his tendency to isolate himself. He tries to take the advice he regularly gives to the veterans he takes under his wing. Its enough to sustain his close relationships, including whatever he has going on with One Armed Wonder, but he has little energy to offer anyone else. He has to remind himself that thats okay.

Without thinking, Sam realized he had sunk his head into the crook of Bucky's shoulder. He had started to drift, still following the gentle sways of his partner's body like a boat welcoming the gentle rocking of small waves after a storm. Bucky hadn't said anything, luckily, so Sam remains in his position and enjoys the comforting sounds of soul that has wrapped around them.

He had finally put Bucky onto some real good conditioner after growing sick of the greasy tresses the man sported as the Winter Soldier. No judgement. Its hard to have a solid hair care routine as an international assassin for magic super Nazis. But now, it smelled like honeyed coconuts instead of the scentless, dollar brands he used to buy at random. Even though Bucky's hair was shorter, Sam still caught wiffs of it near his neck. It was more noticeable this close given the man's lack of cologne.

Bucky had noticed earlier when Sam's head dipped into his shoulder. Shortly after, he though he had heard soft snores, but the man's body had otherwise remained upright and solid like usual. He had continued to follow the pattern they'd set, so Bucky had just shifted his hand to his partner's lower back to provide support and kept their pace steady. Otherwise, he lost himself in the heat of Sam's hand and the confusing stillness that had settled in his chest. He felt...anchored. But that was Sam. He was strong and steady, and reliable, but just as capable of sinking as anyone else without the support he inarguable deserved. The support Bucky tried to provide.

Steve was gone now. He'd left the both of them to figure out the aftermath of everything that had happened. Bucky wondered if it hurt Sam like it hurt for him. He didn't blame his Steve; couldn't begrudge him that act of selfishness after all they'd been through. Without Rogers' strong presence between them, they had been left to scramble in the gap and reshape it for two. Sam had his family and Bucky had his therapist, but nobody could understand the them as much as the other, as different as they are. So here they are, slow dancing in a safehouse Rhodes had been generous enough to lend them on short notice. He was amicable towards Bucky, but the generosity was really for Sam. Bucky's neck itched, likely with dried sweat, and he sighed internally. He needed a shower.

The man worked his hand against Sam's lower back instinctually and the other man responds with a questioning hum tinged with sleepiness. Bucky doesnt have an answer so they continue in silence. The song had changed. It was a woman again. She was singing the Blues, if Bucky guessed correctly. He's been picking up more of the music Sam liked. It could be relaxing but full-bodied one moment or rich and thrilling the next.

So far, he has only worked his way up the mid-80s. Sam jokesthat his sensitive hearing isnt prepared for the young and hip tastes that dominate the charts, but he'll still sneak recent artists into his recommendations so Bucky isnt completely "out of the loop." Like always, Bucky would just roll his eyes, but now and again he closes them and try to imagine what Sam felt when listened to the music. Wonders at the connections the man shares with the melodies, and the histories curved into the lyrics. Some things, he couldn't ever understand, even if he tries. So, other times, he just listens.

Now, he's curled over his partner's slightly shorter stature, nose brushing the other man's temple. Sam was not a small man. He was built like a brick house. His upper body was strong, but his lower half was thick with muscle and padded by soft curves of flesh. Probably because he only does legs. Meanwhile, Bucky's own body is near the opposite: wide, sturdy chest that tapers to a firm waist and steady, straight legs. They contrast nicely, Bucky thinks. Filling up the spaces the other doesn't. For two people of their size, they still manag to fit snugly with little space between their bodies. Any closer, and Bucky isn't sure how he'd handle the proximity. He feels lulled into the calmness of the evening that had unexpectedly crept up on them in the quiet of everything around them, save for the music.

The two danced a bit longer, but eventually Sam's body grew too weary after the lack of sleep. With hesitancy, they quietly parted after the final notes of the song slipped from the record player. Bucky turns stopped the music while Sam flops into the nearby couch. His growing exhaustion does not stop him from throwing a smirk Bucky's way which the man met with his regular deadpan stare.

"Not bad. Not a single hip replacement necessary. I'd say thats a success for two old men." Sam quipped. Bucky stayed silent.

"You're not old," he finally said. He hadn't moved from his spot by the record player.

"Hmmm. Well, compared to you, 42 isn't that old." Sam lets his eyes close again but Bucky clears his throat, causing one of them to open in question.

"There's a bedroom upstairs," he explains carefully. They've been on the move for some time now with little time for real rest. If Sam was going to finally sleep then it should be in a real bed, at least.

Sam lets out out a quick laugh, "if you think you can butter me up with a dance-"

Bucky cuts off his teasing with a quick glare. If there was ever a moment being the Winter Soldier has served him, it was now. Otherwise, the heat he could feel trying to redden his ears would send Sam into a fit of hysterics.

"I did a perimeter check when we arrived. There's three bedrooms upstairs. All of them have en-suites bathrooms so take your choice," Bucky grumbles out, avoiding eye contact with his counterpart. The earlier stillness he had felt was slowly disappearing now that they were interacting again. His nerves were more taxed than before. He'll analyze that later. Maybe with his therapist, but she was kind of petty, so maybe not.

Sam's teasing smirk has settled into something a little more kind as he rises frim his seat and crosses the room to where Bucky stands. He roughly claps the other man's arm a couple of times before settling the familiar weight of his hand at the ball of Bucky's shoulder.

"I'm just messing with you, man. Thanks though. That couch would do my back in after being thrown by that explosion. Luckily, you were there to provide some cushioning," he says with that toothy smile. Before Bucky can respond, Sam bids him goodnight and slowly makes his way upstairs. Bucky watches him go, dry-mouthed and slightly confused. Once Sam has completely disappeared from view, Bucky takes in his surroundings and feels the emptiness of the room without Wilson's presence.

He'll do one more perimeter check then turn in for the night. Even he can feel the pullings of sleep. Maybe tonight, he'll dream about dancing.

[astro-rain]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter four - mri’s & other modern commodities

delicate masterlist

word count: 1.8k

synopsis: bucky faces his first day of treatment, and discovers some new things along the way: some scary, some awesome, some maybe slightly embarassing.

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

[A/N]: not my gif

When he woke up, he scanned his room, making sure everything was the same as how he left it the night before. Making sure no one came in while he was asleep and poisoned his brain. Making sure he was waking up in his living quarters in Wakanda and not a damp cell in some secret Hydra base. It was just something he did now.

Some may call it paranoia, others may call it adaptation. Either way, once he stepped outside and made sure he was alone, he allowed himself to take a breath.

Today was the day, the first day of official treatment. He had no idea what to expect; he was just hoping to high heavens that it would end up working. Freedom. That's all he wanted. Liberation from the chains Hydra had had around him since he fell from the train all those years ago.

He was apprehensive for sure, but he tried his best to keep himself optimistic. Bucky was sure that Shuri was smarter than any Hydra scientist he once came in contact with. So, if they can tear apart his mind, perhaps she can put it back together. Right?

Her in addition to (Y/N). That psychologist woman. He had spoken to her the day before at the lake. She was funny, and she seemed decently easy to talk to. That's a good sign, he guessed. She told him that she hadn't minded relocating to assist in his treatment, but he honestly couldn't make out her true feelings. She was rather hard to read. Perhaps it was a psychologist thing; he tried not to look too far into it.

He waited outside his door until two Wakandans came to escort him to Shuri. Bucky noticed they were armed. Guards. He wasn't surprised nor did he blame them. However, that didn't make it any easier to trust. He hadn't had that luxuy in a very long time. The former assassin fought against the voice in the back of his head telling him to analyze their every move in order to ensure that he wasn't in any danger. That any minute they weren't going to strap him down and rip his brain apart the way it had been so many times before. So many times. He gave the slightest wince at the thought. His brain suddenly felt prickly, painful memories creeping up on him.

Not now, don't think about it.

Sometimes, if he fixated on the thoughts for too long, he would drive himself to this panicked state of fear and constriction. He wasn't sure exactly what this thing was. All he knew was that these things - these episodes - were extremely unpleasant, and utterly unnecessary at the moment.

He shook his head (somehow hoping that this would rid him of the prickly memories like a dog shaking off water), strands of long brown hair swaying quickly in front of his eyes, and fixed his gaze to the floor.

Floor. Floor. Floor. Floor. Just the floor. The floor. The floor. The floor-

"Sergeant Barnes!" Shuri welcomed him happily.

Oh. He was in the lab now. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Let's do this.

"Good morning," he smiled, "and just Bucky's okay."

"Of course, of course. This is my lab! Best place in Wakanda in my humble opinion. Today's only the first day of treatment, so nothing too intensive. But, we will be working all the same!"

He glanced around the lab. The guards were at the doorway and they didn't look like they were leaving anytime soon. Again, he wasn't surprised. Moreover, sitting at a table a few feet from Shuri, was a familiar face. This familiar face soon met his gaze.

"Hi, Bucky" (Y/N) greeted, offering a polite smile. "See! I remembered this time."

Bucky grinned. "Are you still (Y/N), or is it Dr. (Y/L/N) since we're in the lab now?"

"I'm always (Y/N)."

"I don't know, if I went to school for as long as you did, I'd make everyone call me Doctor," Shuri added.

(Y/N) laughed. "Well, if you want to call me Doctor you're more than welcome, Shuri."

"That's the spirit, Doc," she declared before turning to Bucky. "Now, follow me and we'll get a quick MRI done."

"A what?" He quickly caught up to Shuri who already started walking away.

"An MRI. It stands for magnetic resonance imaging. Basically, scanners use strong magnetic fields, magnetic field gradients, and radio waves to generate images of the organs in the body."*

Yes, very basic.

(Y/N) leaned over to Bucky, explaining softly, "It's used to form pictures of the anatomy and the physiological processes of the body."**

"Oh."

"You just lay down and it scans you. Y'don't even feel anything."

"Thats... not too bad, I guess."

"It's a bit of a tight fit though, so I hope you're aren't claustrophobic."

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, after cryo, I doubt tight spaces will be too much of a bother for me."

"Right," said (Y/N), "but it's still decently in your personal space. Just so you know - so there's no surprises."

He nodded. They didn't say anything until Shuri stopped short in front of them. She stood a couple feet from a shiny metal table which was lined up in front of an equally shiny and metallic semi-cricle arch. It was long enough to fit - well, would you look at that - a body.

"Oh. I guess there is a surprise," (Y/N) blurted, turning to Shuri, confused. "That isn't like any MRI machine I've ever seen."

"That's because you're in Wakanda," Shuri flashed a proud smile. "Tech's a bit... advanced here."

(Y/N) turned to Bucky. He thought he saw something resembling self consciousness flow across her features, but he wasn't sure.

"Sorry, I guess I was wrong. But, honestly this is way better than a typical MRI set up. It's much more open... and wide. Regularly, it would be like a super narrow tube with hardly any space inside. This way, you'll even be able to see us and the rest of the room."

That's good. More space. More freedom. And he'll be able to see her- them, see them.

Shuri clapped. "Alright! Shall we get started then?"

He had no idea how any of this worked; he was way out of his element here. He just barely learned what a damn MRI was, and had to hide his shock when he found out. Medicine has changed dramatically since 1945. Although it is helpful, he is completely clueless. Great.

"Do I jus-just lay on the table?" He asked, unsure.

"Yep! Just lie there and be absolutely still, and I'll do the rest," Shuri replied, reassuringly as she walked around to a control panel next to the machine, preparing to start.

Bucky took his place on the thin metal table, and he thought he was seeing things. Was it was levitating? Honestly, from what he's seen so far he wouldn't even be surprised. He stared up at the ceiling, getting lost in thought. A string of various questions and uncertainties fluttered through his battered mind.

Would the metal arm interfere with the magnet- oh. Right. No arm. Just a scan, no need to worry. (Y/N) said it would be fine. Can I even trust her Then again, can I even trust anyone yet? She's the best I got right now. Damn it, I wish I wasn't so wary of everyone.

"Hey," a gentle voice pulled him out.

He looked over to the left of him, the side with no arm. (Y/N).

"I can practically hear your brain whirring around right now - which is justified - but do you need anything?"

'Do you need anything?' He hadn't heard that phrase in a while.

He adjusted his body on the table. "I'm alright, just... a bit out of my element here."

She nodded, knowingly. "Honestly, me too. This lab looks like somethin' out of a sci-fi movie for me, so I can't imagine what it must feel like to you."

She was looking down at him. He felt vulnerable, exposed. It seemed like she noticed.

"Here, I have an idea."

With that, she turned and grabbed something from a nearby table. Rotating around to face him again, she displayed what she had taken: a pair of headphones... but without a wire? What the hell?

"Are they broken?" he asked, feeling perpetually confused.

"No, they're wirelessly connected to my phone. It's called bluetooth."

The look on his face was almost laughable.

"Bluetooth? What kind of name is Bluetooth?"

"The kind of name that I didn't invent nor should I be blamed for," she chuckled. "Do you want to listen to music while you're in there? It might help to keep you down on Earth with us."

Music. The thought was almost surreal. He hadn't been privileged with such a pleasure in longer than he'd care to admit. It actually seemed... nice.

"Y-yeah," he said, pondering. "That'd actually be nice."

"Awesome."

She leaned over him to put the headphones on his ears, causing him a very conflicting series of emotions.

First of all, close. She was very close to his face. His face, his eyes, his nose, his lips. It almost seemed a tad bit intimate. And then he realized he hadn't been this close to a woman in forever. A real woman, not some fellow assassin he had to take out. He hoped the shy embarrassment he felt didn't show on his cheeks.

Second of all, she was wrapping something around his head, his brain. He tried not to, but he couldn't stop the muscle memory of what he'd been conditioned to feel. Hydra's machine would wrap around his head and rip his psyche apart. His mind expected pain, the worst pain, the dehumanizing, out of body, mind splitting pain. He hoped the way he flinched ever so slightly didn't offend (Y/N).

She didn't seem offended, and her voice was soft. "You're good. Just music and a scan. Then you're done."

He looked up at her face, reassuring and calm. He took a deep breath.

"Good?" she asked.

He nodded. "Think so."

"If it's too much at any point just let us know, and we'll pull you right out. It's your comfort level, your choice."

His choice. Choice. Control. The prospect gave him comfort.

She gave him one last look before stepping away and signaling Shuri to start the machine. The seemingly levitating table began a smooth descent into the machine when the music started playing. It almost startled him, but he then he was pleasantly surprised by what he heard.

There were loud drums, guitar riffs with attitude, and voices that had so much emotion they were almost screaming. It was like no music he had ever heard before, and he loved it. In fact, he was so into it that he didn't even notice when the MRI had finished. That is, until he felt a feather light hand on his shoulder. His eyes opened, and (Y/N) had the biggest grin on her face. While taking the headphones off of him, she looked very pleased with herself.

She looked at Shuri but declared to no one in particular, "Bucky likes Rock and Roll!"

- - -

* = from wikipedia

** = from wikipedia

[tj-shmt]

A Day of Curation

Unless its Wednesday, it should be around 11am right now when i get up. First things first, put in my headphones and go get some good music! Its Monday - time to listen to my Discover Weekly playlist, which Spotify usually tailors perfectly to my tastes.

1. 🎶 SPOTIFY 🎶

Fun fact - this weeks "Discover Weekly" suggs. Usually I get the best music from there. I don't really recall the last time any of my friends really showed a song I didn't already know or was adequately good. Tho, I have to give Amelie some credit here, she constanly hits me with great Spanish tunes. (Also to Jasi and Safae which hit me up with some dope music from time to time) I mostly get inspiration from (sad to say but its true) tik tok or by randomly shazaming the world. I also really hate to limit myslfe to music i understand. On the contrary I LOVE LOVE LOVE music arround the world. Trust me i hear Tibetian Throat Singing to Russian Electro and even Islandic and Nativ American Tribal Music. To give you an impression of how important music consumption is for me:

Last Year i spent a total of 210 441 minutes on spotify alone. That is about 9 Hours a day. The average person uses Spotify for about 18 000 minutes a year. (My friend took the freedom to calculate how much money Spotify "looses" by my consumption. i pay $30 a year an Spotify gives $0,004891 per stream to the creator. An average of 3 minutes per song (70.000 streams) means spotify pays $342.37 to the creators. Thats $312.37 of deficit LOL)

Apart form that i cant really give Spotify a certain schedule when i listen to it cuz i listen to it all the time. During gaming, during coding, laundry, gym, work, class, before sleep. ✨Always✨

2. 💬 WhatsApp 💬

There is nothing better than sleeping for an eternity while everyone is already awake for probably 4 or more hours, working! *laughs in privileged design student* Since everyone is already living its live while I still drool, I gotta get up to date in the morning. Before i even leave bed, i checke my messages there. Similar to Spotify, I use WhatsApp the whole day and can't really tell when I would not use it. Except, my phone is always on silent (casual zennial phone call phobia) meaning i wont notice anything while zoning out or gaming (which usualy is the same).

3. 👨‍🏫 TEAMS 👩‍🏫

Yeah Yeah i can already hear it. "You wake up 5 minutes before class withouth breakfast or anything..." - bla bla bla. Yeah that is the case! I would usuly go on teams and enter the classroom, while preparing a breakfast (if you can call it breakfast after 12) sit down at my desk and listen to class. Causally everything that is too theoretical with music and whatsapp. Other classes that are interesting I`ll put my full attention to it.

But i hate teams in gerneral. Not cuz its sh**, no, usualy people that do their clases there have a weird way of using it. Finding material or looking up homeworks is such a struggle sometimes. (Props to you Kevin here, I have never seen anybody using teams in such a clean and struktured way than you do. Even tho you dont neccesarily use it as it was meant to be. (which might be the turning point on why its great))

4. 📺 YouTube 📺

Yup YouTube is usually the place to go after (sometimes during (I NEVER SAID THAT!)) class.

Actually, YouTube is the place to go for me. Relaxation, Entertainment, knowledge - anything! After class I'd usually watch "Cut" or other channels that produce let's plays or entertainment of some sort.

But it's also THE place to go during coding. I rather listen to Lofi or (Slowed, Reverbed) Music that doesnt really distract me. ALSO, during coding watch A SH*TLOAD OF TUTORIALS, cuz I am proud selftaught Zennial. #BestOfBothWorlds

5. 👨‍🍳 CHEFKOCH 👨‍🍳

I love to try new things and I constantly stalk the web for new recipes. Lately a lot of Asian and Vegan stuff. Chefkoch is the app to go where i also write down my own recipes to have them with me all the time. Great thing here is, i share this account with all my family members (currently 13, including my mom, aunts, other relatives). Great way to share the secret family recipes at any time!

(Cant recommend the recipe in the img, tho!)

6.🏐 ADDIDAS TRAINING🏐

Unlike all my sporty friends that used to hit the gym before covid and not got lazy, I started to use Training Apps like Addidas Training with its free Workout plans. I use it regularly and am happy i finally found a way to stay sporty.

7. ⌨️ VS CODE ⌨️

Its either Visual Studio Code, where I would code on my current project, or gaming. As mentioned above, I would get most of the inspiration from tutorials or using dev tools on different platforms.

8. 🎤 DISCORD 🎮

I´ll use Discord as a general term for Gaming since I play a lot but many different games, tho, always use discord to communicate with my freinds while gaming.

A great place to share random BS with friends and talk about anything that comes to my mind. I spent most of the evenings on Discord with my friends. Always did, in fact. Maybe the reason why I don't really feel so affected by the pandemic. I am used to being separated from my friends since they live all over Germany or the world in general. I always enjoy Online Live Events WITH my friends.

For me the web as always been a "with" not an "alone", which is why I never understand why so may struggle with feeling "alone" on live events online. JUST GRAB A FRIEND AND DISCOVER IT ✨TOGETHER✨!

9. 📼 DISNEY+ / NETFLIX 📼

Since I use both the same amount there is not thos or that. I never Really let anybody recommend me anything, cuz ... trust me, I WON'T watch it. IDK why that is, but I need a specific mood for each show. And nobody but myself can provide that. Probably why most ove the algorithms (esp Netflix) do not have an effect on me. I'm not in the mood for your ****, sorry!

Never the less, i periodically Binge a Series and then feel empty after it ended. Then i need some time to face reality again.

Funny tho, I binged Starwars Rebels on Disney+ and after it ended i just decide to buy 4 books on amazon that expand the story to starwars (#nerd i know). I will spend the next few months reading and probably not watching anything on both Streaming services.

10. 🤤 TIKTOK 🌈

... YUP.... I grew up with vine ... but TikTok got me. And honestly I don't regret it. It's the perfect algorithm that constantly finds the best videos that feed my thirsty queer ass. I mean ...

LOOK AT THE IMG ABOVE. YES, give me more....!

Its prolly not good for my digital wellbeing or my mental health but do I care at the moment..? noooooo...

Just give me more of Starwars Parodies, Sleepwalkers, Best off's of streamers, Queer content (cuz its time this heteronormativity world is fed with it! and no i do not indentify as anyting, im just the + at the very far end!) and yeah, even some sexy content if the creator feels good about it.

AND DONT YOU GIVE ME THAT SIDE EYE OF JUDGEMENT HERE - WE ALL THIRST FROM TIME TO TIME!

TOODLES!

[februaryberries]

Study (?) tips that you don’t see on every study post

Hi gamers, I just finished my first year at college/university!!

This year was really a struggle for me because I was trying to get the help I needed for my mental health, and I did not succeed until literally the week before finals spring term. I just got diagnosed w ADHD and put on meds (thank god) and I’m excited for the next year to come.

Though this year was absolutely grueling I did discover some little tips that can really help ! This is coming from my experience w ADHD but it could relate to other neurodiverse learners as well ! Even if you are neurotypical some of these might help !! 

This post got really long so I’m gonna put it under the cut but, main Idea is bolded w a more in depth explanation underneath ( for those like me who see a block of text and go running)

In no particular order:

If you can/are up for it take a class before noon even if you are not a morning person. I am NOT saying take an 8am when u regularly go to bed at 4am! Bc that is dumb bb pls get some sleep. In my experience once I go to class my brain is like “oh things are happening now, it is actually a day and not just existing in a timeless hellscape.”

Once I am out of bed/out of my room I am at least mildly more productive for the rest of the day. Going to a class before noon means you are up and doing things for the day and early enough that you still have light. This ties into the next one

Start while it’s still light out!! At least for me I gain so much happiness from natural light/sunlight, and it is very hard for me to do things let alone START things once it’s dark out because my brain is like nope the day is over now. Plus in the fall/winter days days are getting shorter and shorter so it’s important to make use of as much daylight as you can. I feel like a plant w how much I rely on light to survive but it really does help! 

Put on ‘Real People’ clothes. This is something that really helps me, even if it’s just like, jeans and a turtleneck, maybe tucked in w a belt. I’ve found that when I put on academic-y clothes or like Adult clothes it helps me switch my brain into school mode. It’s kinda like putting on a uniform for work? If I’m in too loose of clothes or like pyjamas for example, I’m much less likely to be able to switch my brain into productive mode. For me especially its when i’m wearing tighter clothing rather than baggy ones? Like i said a turtleneck which like the sleeves are fitted to my arms, and jeans or pants that are fitted to my legs. I think it helps because it makes me more aware of my body in the space? Idk.  figure out what real people clothes feel like to you, and then have a couple of go to outfits you can slip on when you’ve been in a hoodie and sweatpants all day and really need to get some work done. 

On that note, put on shoes. For me along w the tight clothing, I do better in shoes, specifically ones that lace up and can be tight. Like hightop converse, or boots, or even dress shoes w laces. I think in a way my body needs to be contained so I can focus on something? I’m not sure why I feel like that but i’ve learned to work w it. Putting on shoes for me helps because

1. I’m not distracted by what I’m putting my bare feet on (i cannot stand wearing socks unless im wearing shoes so yes bare feet)

2. I’m not getting distracted by my floor n the fact that hey maybe i should sweep bc there are some crumbs sticking to my feet now.

And 3. You put on shoes when you are going to go outside and go somewhere. It’s like putting pyjamas on to go to bed, you’re brain associates those items with doing something, so putting on shoes can signal to your brain hey we are doing something now, and that something is work.

Talk to your teachers !! I understand sometimes you have a teacher from hell and honestly idk what to tell you at that point but in  a lot of cases teachers can be very understanding !! The amount of support I’ve gotten from my teachers this year is absolutely insane and 100% the only thing that made it so I didn’t get kicked out of college. Like reaching out to your teachers shows that you care! if you have to take a mental health day sometimes let them know !! i would always let my teacher know that I really wanted to be in class but I just couldn’t handle it that day. They also can help connect you to resources you didn’t know about ! 

Look into what resources your school has !! I was talking about how next year is gonna go now that I’ve been diagnosed and such with my friend, and how I was gonna contact the DRC (disability resource center) and she didn’t know you could get support for having ADHD!! Like I know you can get extensions on due dates, attendance forgiveness, and even potentially note taking assistance when you have ADHD and talk to them. even if you are medicated it doesn’t 100% solve everything and there are still ways to get support! Whether its study groups, writing centers/support, tutoring, or even contacting your drc or whatever your school has, it can really help!! I’m definitely going to take advantage of these resources if I can next year ! 

Find a place outside you can go to clear your head (or have a mental breakdown) 

I can’t even begin to count the amount of times i’ve been freaking out over something or stressed out of my mind and my room started to feel to stuffy and claustrophobic and i just needed to get OUT. try to make sure it’s somewhere safe and close that you can go to even at night. (maybe try to shoot a text to your best friend that you’re out and if you don’t let them know you’re home by a certain time to start raising alarm, your safety is the most important) I tend to like to be up high because i’m further away from people, and the streets and I’m closer to the sky.

My go to thinking/breakdown spot is the roof of the parking garage a block away. It has stairs that are easy access and the top levels are usually empty even during the day. It really helps me to just go out and listen to music and collect my thoughts sometimes. My head can start going a million directions at lightspeed and I need to stop and be present, and being outside helps. It’s a good way to regroup.

Spend 10 minutes picking up your desk/work space. I tend to let my room get cluttered and messy and out of control a lot, to the point where I know it’s going to take at least a couple hours to get it clean again. It is also hard to focus when you’re in a messy environment. I would stress myself out and be like “well i HAVE to clean my whole room because I can’t focus if my space isnt clean I cant start until I clean” and then I would put all of my productive energy into cleaning, and get maybe halfway done before burning out and going to bed.

You’re never going to get any work done if you keep in this mindset. So instead just spend 10 minutes picking up the garbage off your desk, put the dishes in the kitchen, and put things back in their place. Then you will have enough space to work on your assignment and that space will be free of clutter so it won’t be as stressful. 

DRINK WATER DRINK WATER DRINK WATER

Have a water bottle in front of you when you’re studying/in class. I get fidgety a lot when i’m in class/studying (thank u adhd) and so having a water bottle is a way for me to fidget I guess? Depending on the water bottle, you have little steps you have to do to drink that help u fidget,

for example: pick it up, take off the lid, drink, put the lid back on, set it down.

Or pick up, push button that opens drink hole (?), set back down.

When I have a water bottle on my desk it satisfies my need to do something with my body and comes with the bonus of staying hydrated, without me having to lose focus doing something else. Also you won’t get distracted by a sore throat or the realization that you are really thirsty.

Pay attention to why you’re not paying attention. Not everything that works for me is going to work for you, so you have to figure out what works for you. I started to notice that I would be uncomfortable or feel funny working when I was in baggy clothes and that helped me figure out I needed to wear real people clothes. If you find yourself getting distracted, take note of what is distracting you. maybe try literally making a list of things that distract you, so then you can identify patterns and how to combat them !

That’s all I have for now, I hope some of these could maybe help? All of these have helped me actually complete an assignment occasionally, and somehow keep my ass in college. I just want to say that my experience is my own and things that work for me aren’t going to work on every one. college can be really tough, especially your first year when you’re trying to figure everything out. I may not have all the answers but feel free to shoot me a message!! i’m here for you if you want to ramble about an assignment you’re fed up with or a teacher you hate or anything thats bothering you !! Everyone’s college (and life) experience is different so don’t feel bad if yours doesn’t look the same as the people around you ! Remember to take care of yourselves !!!

Have a good day :)

[harrysmanystyles]

“are you sure about that?”

A/N: I just was really in the mood for frat boy harry okay

The day had been off from the moment I woke up. My stomach churned at the thought of the events the day coming about, and as I walked into my Philosophy class that morning and locked eyes with him, I felt it. The spark. And as much as I tried to resist it, the feeling demanded to be felt. Quickly, I turned around and sat in my normal seat, waiting for him to take his usual seat next to me. It was a routine, one that I had grown comfortable with. Although being around Harry made me feel things I didn’t necessarily want to feel, his company was somewhat entertaining and familiar.

Moments later, he plops down in the seat next to me, immediately grabbing my notebook to see what I was so intently staring at. “This is a blank page,” he teases, flopping it back onto my desk. I give him a small smile.

“Sorry, I’m just feeling a bit distracted, thats all,” I say, tucking my hair behind my ears, a nervous habit I’ve grown into since coming to college. Harry notices, he notices everything.

“Calm down, love, that was meant to be a joke.” He gives me a look, and glances at the professor who’s getting ready to start the lecture. “You’re still coming tonight, right?” He asks, his eyes hopeful. How could I ever say no? When I nod, a triumphant grin takes over his features. Harry is a hard person to say no to, and at times he can be manipulative to get what he wants. I’m sure he’s used that tactic multiple times on many girls just like me. Hence, why I have no interest in catching any feelings for him, I will not be just another conquest. My heart has been broken too many times before.

Harry and I have been friends for a little while now. We both ended up in the same philosophy class for the semester, and somehow, he weaseled his way into studying with me. Last week, he asked me to come to a party him and his friends were throwing at their house over the weekend. He claimed that I need to ‘let loose’ and ‘enjoy myself a little’. I rolled my eyes, but agreed to it nonetheless. What else was I going to do? The last few weekends I’ve spent studying holed up in my room, and he knew that.

The professor starts lecturing, and it startles me out of my trance. I begin to take notes like I always do, and as my pen scribbles on my paper I can feel his eyes on me, taking in my every move. I ignore him, pretending like I don’t notice, and eventually he turns to face the front, a sigh escaping his lips.

When the class finishes, we both stand at the same time, nearly knocking each other over. He grabs my arms before I fall back into my seat. “These seats are way too close together,” he remarks, releasing me from his grasp once he sees I’ve regained my balance.

“Thanks,” I mumble, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks. I grab my backpack and turn to leave when he grabs my arm.

“See you tonight,” he smirks, and with that, turns and walks away, leaving me with the burning sensation of where his hand gripped my arm and a bundle of nerves dwindling in my stomach.

-

Its quarter to 11 when my roommate, Rose, and I walk up the sidewalk to the front door of Harry’s house. The house is shaking from the music, and there are people spilling out the front windows. This should be interesting. I pull down my uncomfortably tight skirt that Rose forced me to wear, feeling a bit overdressed for a house party. I look over at her, “What?” She says.

“This was a bad idea, I should have stayed home. What if—“ She cuts me off.

“What if nothing. You look hot, and Harry invited you for you to have fun. You can’t just stay cooped up in our apartment all the time, it’s not good for you.” She gives me a smirk, grabs my hand, and pulls me into the house. She knows my mixed emotions towards him, and she wants to see how the night is going to play out. Deep down, so do I, but I’m afraid of what’s to come. I roll my eyes as we stumble past the front door. I’m immediately hit by a wave of musty heat, and I crinkle my nose in disgust. What is this? A frat party? “Come on, let’s go get a drink!” Rose shouts over the music, and I nod in agreement. I’m definitely going to need a drink to get me through the night. Scratch that, I’ll need way more than one.

We head over to the kitchen to find that the island is covered with bottles of opened and unopened liquor and mixers. I grab a solo cup and begin to mix myself a drink. “Whoa, slow down there,” I hear his voice in front of me, and look up to see him standing a mere 6 inches away. My voice catches in my throat, but the second I take a drink out of my cup, I regain my confidence. I feel his eyes raking down my body, a twinge of lust in his gaze. Well, I guess the outfit did its job. I clear my throat, pulling him back to reality.

“Don’t let me have more than five of these,” I point at him jokingly and give him a knowing look, taking another big swig. I need to be at least a little drunk for this conversation. He laughs and shakes his head in fake disappointment.

“No promises, remember? You’re letting loose tonight,” he wiggles his eyebrows.

“Mhm, yeah, I don’t remember saying that?” I say, a small grin on my lips. He laughs and opens his mouth to respond, but Rose cuts him off.

“I think we need to go dance,” she says, pouring more liquor in both of our cups, and then dragging me to the dance floor. Well, the living room. I look back to see if Harry was still there, and yes he was, staring at me with a not quite smirk on his lips. I felt a blush come on, and immediately turned around.

It felt like I’d been there for hours. Dancing, pouring more alcohol, then dancing some more. The room wasn’t quite spinning, but one more drink and it would be. “I need the bathroom!” I yell over the pounding music.

“What?” Rose responds, and I shake my head.

“I’ll be right back,” I say, and as I turn to leave I notice Rose is dancing with Harry’s friend. I knew it would happen, it was just a matter of time. She’s had eyes for him all year, and when she sets her sight on someone, she always finishes. Can’t wait to wake up with him in my kitchen tomorrow morning.

I squeeze through the crowd toward the back of the house, where there’s a staircase that leads upstairs. There has to be a bathroom up there, right? I stumble up the steps and open the door to the first room I find. Immediately hearing moans, I slam the door shut without even looking to see who it was. Gross, lock the door next time please. I move to another room down the hall. The door flies open to reveal Harry laying on his bed, his head whips to my direction, and a smirk overtakes his features. “Well hello to you too,” he says, sitting up in his bed. The drunkness in me tells me to go inside, and I listen. What are you doing?

“Sorry, I was just looking for the bathroom. I—“

“You look like you’ve definitely had more than five,” Harry chuckles. He stands from his bed and makes his way over to me. I go to walk toward him, and trip over the chair sitting at his desk. Shit, I really should have been keeping track. Harry grabs me, and once I’m steadied, I take one look at his face and pull away. This is exactly the situation I didn’t want to end up in tonight. “That’s the second time I’ve saved you from your own clumsiness today. Shall we start keeping count?” He jokes.

“Ha ha, very funny,” I say sarcastically, avoiding his face. I know the second we make eye contact, I’ll just melt. And thats exactly what he wants. “Why are you even up here? The party is downstairs, not in your room,” God, why do I sound like such a dumbass right now?

“I just needed a break, it gets a bit too loud for my liking, so I come up here to let my head settle,” he answers. I nod, and stare at my feet, unsure of what to say or do next. The pounding music vibrates through the walls of his surprisingly clean bedroom, and I feel my heartbeat quicken in my chest just at the sound of his breath a few feet in front of me. I look up at him. His eyes lock with mine, and my heart feels as if it’s about to burst. Unintentionally, my eyes widen at the sight of his beautiful features. When I’m drunk, everything is heightened. My sensitivity to his presence and the effect his bone structure has on me is unintentional and unwanted. I watch his hands as he cracks his knuckles and he chuckles when he sees my response to his mere being. The curves of his soft, pink lips call out to mine as he says, “you okay?” I can hear the smirk in his voice. The effect he has on me is unnatural, and as much as I try to resist him, I can’t. 

"I don't feel anything for you, you know," I blurt out randomly and confidently. “So whatever you think you’re doing here, it’s not working.” Well, it sounded much more confident in my head than it did when I said it aloud. Where did that even come from? He asked me if I was okay, not if I was in love with him. This was more of an attempt to convince myself than him. If I could say it out loud, maybe that would make it true. His laugh rolls deeply in his chest, and he takes a step closer. I take a step back.

"Are you sure about that?" Another step closer. Another step back. His eyes burn holes into mine as he walks, and I become afraid of what little control I have over myself in this moment. Who just blurts something like that out randomly? Crazy people, thats who. I feel myself becoming overpowered by his figure, but still try to defend my useless attempts denying my feelings. 

"Y-yes," I say, it was meant to be a statement, though it came out as more of a question. Another step forward. Another step back. I stumble backward until my back hits the wall. Trapped, with nowhere to go. A reckless smirk overtakes his beautiful features as he takes his last step towards me. 

With only centimeters between us, he bends down so his face is level with mine, fists like pillars securely fastened on the wall above my head. His uneven breaths fan over my face, and the immediate smell of what I have come to realize is his regularly chewed spearmint gum mixed with vodka fill my nostrils. I take in a shaky breath. I’ve never been this close to him, and my fuzzy thoughts are attempting to make sense of what’s happening. I feel something in me shift, almost as if my confidence decided to make its presence known in my moment of weakness. 

"Because it really doesn't seem that way," he taunts, his jade eyes peering into my brown ones. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears as his gaze intensifies. Every bone in my body tells me to resist him, but I swallow back the nerves rising in my throat, grab him by the collar of his shirt, and crash my lips into his.

[brittsekland]

Interview with Topper Headon, February 1980.

Turn off your mind, lie back on the couch and relax. We're going to have an association test. What do you think of when I say the Clash? Running battles with the grey forces of government? Three cord supercharged thrashes vilifying unemployment and public housing vegetation? Seething hordes of punks dancing themselves into a frenzy? Wrong. Times have changed. Punk is now locked as firmly into the past as hippies were in the sixties. Safety pins and bondage trousers are as passe as headbands and peace signs. The bands that characterized an era have disappeared. The Sex Pistols destroyed themselves, the Damned are a self-parody, which leaves the Clash. After an impressive first album and a fair second effort, their third a double recaptures the drive and energy of the first. The Clash have esestablished them-selves as the most talented band to emerge from the much vaunted new wave.

Their lastest album, London Calling, displays considerable evolution since early days of the band. The songs are more reflective and melodic. Songwriters Joe Strummer and Mick Jones contribute heavily but to a large extent the dexterity and adaptbility of drummer Topper Headon has enabled the Clash to develop their musicality. Topper is, perhaps, the most accomplished musician of the four-man band. His early training with a variety of different music forms from traditional jazz to soul, has provided a firm foundation for Strummer and Jones. Topper provides the matrix from which the rest of the band work. Topper believes the Clash have survived because they have staying power, because they haven't been afraid of changing and because they weren't hesitant to branch out when they grew tired of playing frenetic chords. "We've remained true to what we originally believed in," declares Topper. " We still enjoy playing our own songs. We're not going through any set patterns. The basic idea has been to remain true to what we believe in and not allow ourselves to be dictated to by the industry and become CBS puppets." They've done a deft job of staying ahead of big business machines. "We refuse to do Top of the Pops for example, even when the single came in at 29. CBS started to put pressure on us to do it. They tell us we won't have a hit single, and we say, so what? Who needs it? We wanted our double album to go out for £5 when everybody else's albums go out for a lot more. We had to fight battles to get a cheap record out. Obviously that's not in record company interests. They told us it was impossible. Maybe that's why we've stayed together; we keep setting ourselves impossible tasks. It gives us drive. Even on tour, the Clash are determined to keep prices down which certainly affects the bands take home pay. But money isn't what they want most. "What we want is for the kids to be able to see us," Topper says. Their attitude to irrates businessmen. "If anybody does something like sneak a video of us on television, we'd split up. And CBS know we mean business. We owe them so much money they can't afford for that to happen." The Clash are a refreshing contrast to the kind of bands that do anything to get their name on the dotted line. From the beginning it's been a complete turnaround from the usual state of affairs that exist between band and record company. The companies have been chasing the Clash. Topper joined the Clash between their first and second albums. Previously he was playing with a soul band that regularly toured Germany and British airforce bases. Regularly earning £50 weekly, Headon took a cut in pay to work with the Clash. "I knew at once that it was the gig I'd been looking for. Everything came quite naturally. By the time Topper joined the Clash, he was beginning to think he'd never pass an audition. Not many bands were signed before the British punk explosion. "They'd form a band for somebody from out-of-work musicians who had been thrown out of other bands. They knew the ropes, so they wouldn't kick up a fuss because they knew they were dispensable. Every time I went along for an audition, I was constantly beaten by drummers who had played for name bands and had 'experience'. It just went on and on like that." Topper had been playing drums since he was 13. Drumming was a habit he picked up when he had a broken leg which halted a promising football career. His dad spotted a second-hand kit in the local paper and bought it. By 14 Headon was regularly playing with a traditional jazz band. "For some reason bands were always short of drummers..." As far as tutoring, Topper never got past the introduction in the books. Paradiddles and triple paradiddles were as far as he got. Eventually Headon bought a Premier kit: "At that time it was the cheapest pro kit you could get. You could go into any music store and get one. Everyone stocked spares and fittings. That was one of the reasons why I bought a Premier. I'm still sold on silver kits because they look great under the lights." A few days before his first tour with the Clash he took possession of a silver Pearl kit, which he still uses. After a bit of chopping and changing of toms, he's wound up with a 24" x 17" bass drum, 14" x 10" top tom tom, 16" x 10" and 18" x 10" floor toms, and a Ludwig Black Beauty snare drum. All the cymbals are Zildjian - two pairs of 15" Heavy Rock hi hats, a 16" crash, an 18" crash, a 21" Rock ride, a 19" Rock crash, and a 20" Rock crash, plus a little Zildjian splash cymbal attachted to the top of the bass drum which he claims is driving the rest of the band mad. All the stands are Premier Lokfast Trilok stands. "I go for a real solid kit," claims Topper, "that's why I chose Pearl and Premier. They're really solid and serviceable, no frills on them. You get a good feeling when you sit behind them because they're so workmanlike. You think, 'Great, I ain't gonna knock these over.' I use rubber mats to secure the kit on the riser." "Although I have the kit basically the same most of the time, I do like to change it around occasionally. If I started to use wooden blocks on the riser then I'd be stuck with one position, and that can be limiting." When it became evident that the Clash were here to stay, Topper got the chance of a new kit, which he tried but didn't rate as much. However, he did take Pearl up on the offer of a recover and recon. He expects to have his present kit for at least another five or six years, providing it dosen't get dropped or broken. Another complaint from Topper is lack of service and spares outside London: "We've got a flight case which is like a miniature drum shop, it carries everything down to cymbal felts and spare lugs for the bass drum. We always take it with us on the road and keep it stocked up. "I begin a tour with everything I conceivably need, and gradually I get rid of things I don't need, so the kit gets smaller as the tour goes on. Once the hi hat busted, the spring went right inside, and it was impossible to fix up. It was a Saturday night when we discovered it, and we had a show on Sunday. Luckily, we were able to borrow a high hat stand from the support band." Topper is a man dedicated to acoustic drums. He regards synthisized drums as irrelevant: "They were alright for two weeks, then the novelty wore off. Personally I'm exploring different areas, like percussion. I even use finger cymbals on one track of London Calling. But thats the way to go - into acoustic percussion. There's so much scope there that I don't know why synthisized drums were invented in the first place." Miking up for a gig is a lot similar to miking up for the studio. Topper uses two overhead cymbal mikes, and two mikes for the double hi hat set up he uses. The toms are all miked from the top, and the snare drum is miked from beneath. He keeps both heads on and never keeps anything inside the shells. Topper uses very little damping live. What damping there is, is usually on the bass drum, and always external. All damping is with gaffer tape. Topper prefers AKG mikes, but on tour they vary depending on which PA hire company is being used. "I can go into the studio and get a good drum sound in an hour," continues Topper. Listen to the latest LP London Calling and you'll hear what he means. "The first time I went into the studio I was pretty green but I learnt from it. For London Calling I went straight in and knew exactly what to do. Everybody goes into the studio much more relaxed now. I use AKG mikes and everything is miked from the top except for the snare. Again I use double heads to get the boom sound, and I use room mikes to pick up the spillage, to make it sound more live without going over the top. The set up is exactly the same as I have live, really, except I don't use a bit of damping." The biggest problem with putting out the new album were recording costs. The Clash figure that the longer they spent in the studio, the more it would cost, the more money CBS would have to put up, and consequently they'd have a greater hold over the band. The Clash even put up some of the money themselves. Eventually they had the tape and told CBS: "You can have it if you meet our conditions." Topper admits that there are some mistakes on the album, and more than a few drum errors. That's the price to pay for the energy captured on the vinyl. London Calling was recorded in a month, with Guy Stevens producing. That's how it's going to be in the future, Topper maintains. The second album, Give Em Enough Rope, was not as successful as either the first or the third records, and Topper blames producer Sandy Pearlman for this. "He made it quite dull," Topper says. "He was a dull person to work with. We wanted a producer, CBS gave us a list of producers and his name was on the top. We listened to stuff he'd done with heavy metal bands, and we thought it was rubbish, but it was the production we were interested in. We wanted to get a good sound, and one complaint against the first album was that it sounded too thin. So we wanted some production that would stand up to time. So we got Pearlman. But he took so long to do it, with his perfectionism, that the prevalent feeling in the studio by the time he'd finished was boredom. When I think about recording that album I cringe." Problems don't end in the recording studio for the Clash. For a good few years now they've had constant trouble with local councils who insist on banning their gigs for fear of trouble. The whole surge of reaction against punk bands from "The Establishment" began with the infamous Sex Pistols. The daily newspapers portrayed the Clash as wreckers of society. "We're still getting that sort of prejudice," explains Topper. "We've had 16 gigs booked at various Mecca places, and then about 12 pulled out. You have to completely re-route the tour." The Hammersmith Palais cancelled a concert there because they said there were too many mirrors in the place to safely allow Clash fans in. "But our fans don't smash things anymore. They do if they're told what to do, like sit down in this seat and be a good boy. That's why out of all the gigs on our British tour only have two seats in them." Harassment from local villages takes other forms. The obligatory visit from the fire inspector often results in strict demands being laid down: "He says take that backdrop down, so we take the backdrop down, and he says erect more crash barriers, so we put up more crash barriers, he says this stage has to be rebuilt here, and you need more security. We just laugh at him and do anything he wants. Nothing can stop us playing. But they make life difficult." As time progresses, however, the Clash are becoming more acceptable, though not more respectable, Topper hopes. He makes the point that the Clash have to pay for all the damage that's caused, so why should they promote vandalism? Surprisingly, Topper found that the audiences in America weren't so much different to the British fans. The punk thing is really only just beginning to happen across the pond: "They're still into safety pins," declares Topper. "It's the same as the White Riot tour here, when there were about 300 or 400 fans dancing down the front with the rest there out of curiosity. But we sold out 25 of our 28 gigs there, and that was in 3,000 and 4,000 seater auditoriums. The States is so big. LA was just a load of old hippies lazing around getting stoned in the sun. I liked Chicago best, with all the blues clubs. But we should do well over there because the USA has all the same problems as Britain except they're magnified. They have all the slums and the poverty and more of a racial problem too." Highlighting social problems is one of the bands strong points. They should have plenty to write about in America. The Clash are political, and very definitely anti-National Front. Topper's favourite drummers come from America, such as Harvey Mason and Steve Gadd. His favourite British drummer is Terry Williams, who plays for Rockpile. Musically, his tastes are strictly black; James Brown, Otis Redding and lots of reggae, particularly the Mighty Diamonds. America looks tripe for the Clash. They've toured there twice and soon they should start to take off now that punk has spread. The Americans have been fairly slow catching on to what the 76' British New Wave was all about - perhaps they've been too wealthy for too long. With a new recession biting home, maybe the Clash will take on new relevance to downtrodden, unemployed kids in America. Topper himself represents a new establishment of musicians in Britain that once would have been unthinkable. Two years ago the Clash were vilified as not being "real" musicians. Their drive, talent and staying power has proved the cynics wrong. In general, the Clash have proved themselves to be dedicated professonials with firm ideals at heart. In particular, Topper Headon spearheads the drumming new wave with a forceful and accomplished style that can't be dismissed.

[star-spangled-steve]

His New Partner

Chapter 12: The Experimentation

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: 4721

Warnings: Smut, vaginal sex, oral sex, light fingering, nudity, Daddy!Kink, light Dom!Steve, sub!Reader, dirty talk, mentions of other kinks and sexual activities, cussing.

A/N: I debated for a while whether or not I was going to post something like this, but here we go.

“Can you pass me the gummy bears?” Natasha asked over the sound of ‘Dirty Dancing’, which was playing the television screen.

“Mm-hmm.” Y/N responded, being able complete the task without straying her eyes from the epic final dance number.

The two were having a ‘Girls Night’ in Natasha’s room, something which they did pretty regularly. The event was usually filled with snacks, gossip, and cheesy romance movies that the boys refused to watch, even though they secretly enjoyed them.

“Oh, I love that one so damn much.” Y/N gushed when the closing credits of the film started to play. “The music, the dancing, the sexy Patrick Swayze.”

Natasha chuckled, standing up to take the DVD out of the player. “Sexier than Steve?” She asked with a smirk, before returning to the little makeshift fort that they had created on the ground. In reality, it was just a pile of blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals that Natasha had too much pride to admit she owned.

“Hmm… almost. But don’t tell him that.” Y/N kidded. No one was sexier to her than Steve was, and everybody knew it.

“Speaking of the Captain, how have you two been doing?” The redhead inquired.

The younger girl was confused at her question. “‘Doing’ how?”

“You know… sexually.”

“Nat!” Y/N erupted in nervous giggles, her cheeks getting warmer by the second.

“What? I’m just curious.” She clarified. “The man was a virgin for almost a century. Their has to be an interesting story to tell.”

“I mean, I don’t know.” Y/N played with the bottom of her shirt. “The sex is good. Great, even.”

“But?”

The actress furrowed her eyebrows. “Wait, how did you know that there was a ‘but’?”

Natasha just shrugged, grabbing another Twizzler. “I’m a spy.”

Y/N shook her head, trying to find the correct way to phrase her upcoming statement. “But, it’s very… vanilla, per se.”

“Wow.” The other woman tried not to laugh, failing miserably. “That bad?”

“No! It’s not bad at all.” She now felt guilty for implying anything wrong of Steve. “It’s not his fault that I’ve never been vocal about this.”

“Then why don’t you just be vocal about it?” Natasha suggested like it was the obvious solution.

“Because, what if he thinks I’m some ‘sorta freak of nature?” Y/N worried, grabbing a small handful of M&M’s.

“Damn, Y/N. What kind of shit are you into?” The assassin joked, making the girl drop her head in embarrassment.

“Nothing that weird, I swear!” The girl laughed, wrapping her blankets closer around her. “But Steve is from the olden days, I don’t want to scare him off.”

“Look, N/N.” Natasha grabbed one of her hands. “That man loves you so much, nothing you could ever say or do would scare him off. You guys have only been sleeping together for like three weeks, right? So just tell him, explore with him. Maybe something really great will come out of it.”

“Thanks, Nat.” Y/N pulled her into a hug, grateful for finding such an amazing friend. “But, I just want to be clear.” They pulled away. “I do still very much enjoy sex with Steve.”

“Thats good.” The woman smiled.

“Like he started doing this thing, where he calls me his ‘babydoll’. So thats pretty cool.” Y/N rambled on. “And also, he told me that I was a ‘good girl’ one time. I think that it was on accident, but man oh man, it was sexy.” She absentmindedly hugged one of the many throw pillows, a dreamy expression painted on her face.

“Jeez. Who knew that Y/N Y/L/N was so kinky in the bedroom?” Natasha laughed, causing Y/N’s head to whip towards her.

“Nobody knows. So please, please, please, please-“

“I won’t tell anyone.” The redhead finished. “I promise, your secret is safe with me.”

*****

The feel of the punching bag beneath his hand wraps was the only thing Steve knew as he pounded relentlessly on it. One punch for each night she’d been away from him, and when he got to seven, he’d repeat. All other sights and surroundings were invisible to him, so when Tony put a hand on his shoulder, it was quite the surprise.

“Jesus, Tony!” Steve yelled, flinching away from the billionaire.

“Told you not to poke the bear.” Natasha remarked from her place on one of the treadmills. 

The brunette rolled his eyes. “Just wanted see what his problem was, you know, before he annihilates my whole gym.” He gestured the already destroyed punching bag on the floor, an unimpressed look on his face.

“Give me a break, Stark.” Steve sighed before realizing that he was going to get nothing done, particularly now that these two had arrived. He moved to the benches along the wall and began to unwrap his hands.

“Why should I?” Tony quipped, before coming upon a realization. “Ah. You miss your little girlfriend, don’t you?”

“It’s the first time that Y/N’s had to travel away since she moved in here. So yes, I do.”

Y/N, being an actress with high demands, often had to go away for filming, press, premieres, and more. Most of the time, Steve was okay with it. He understood that she had places to be, especially since he had a such a time consuming job himself. But since the couple began living with each other, they’d basically been attached at the hip, and separation was extremely difficult. Even if it was just filming for a single week in Los Angeles.

“I see, I see. You’re angry and horny.” Stark nodded, earning a harsh glare from the Captain. “What? It’s perfectly explainable. Though, not a reason to ruin my equipment, considering that she comes back tonight. But still, explainable. Hell, I’d be pretty pissed if I didn’t have sex for a week, too.”

“Just vanilla sex.” The pair heard the redhead mumble, who still hadn’t looked up from her treadmill’s display screen, and was oblivious to the attention suddenly being on her.

“What did you just say?” Tony asked, his lips beginning to form into a smirk.

“Oh, me?” Natasha tried to brush it off, having honestly not meant to say that. “Nothing.”

“Really?” Tony rose his eyebrows. “Because to me, it sounded like you said ‘vanilla sex’.”

“I didn’t mean it.” The assassin lied, continuing to run a steady pace.

Stark completely ignored her statement. “And you said it when referring to Steve and Y/N’s sex. Oh goodness, this is hysterical. Do you know something, Natasha, that we don’t?”

“What does ‘vanilla sex’ mean?” Steve questioned, beginning to get worried of what their answer will be.

“You know, boring, ordinary, plain… vanilla.” Tony explained, his grin never dying. “Who told you that, Romanoff?” He slyly moved over to the treadmills, and leaned a hand on the one that she was using. Steve’s slightly nervous face was just urging him on even more. “Because Rogers, over here, certainly didn’t say it. So by default, it must have been, hm… Y/N.”

“Well-“

“Did she?” The Captain interrupted her, his frown now extremely prominent to them. “Did she say that our sex was ’vanilla’?”

“Um, well… yes.” Natasha spoke, stopping the exercise to give Steve her full attention. The newly formed slump in his posture did not go unnoticed.

“Oh.” The man spoke, now having a hard time putting words together. “I-I thought she liked it.” He gulped, beginning to have flashbacks to all of the women that rejected him in his early years.

“She did!” Natasha tried to cheer him up. “A whole lot.”

“Doesn’t sound like it.” Steve ground his teeth.

“No, I swear!” The woman continued. “She loves that ‘babydoll’ thing you do. And-And, uh, you said ‘good girl’ once. She told me that she went crazy inside!”

Steve listened intently, trying to take notes in his head.

“Damn, Cap.” Tony chuckled. “Sounds like you’ve got yourself a submissive little lover.”

The blonde ignored him. “Why didn’t she tell me any of this then?”

Natasha sighed, moving over to her gym bag to collect her belongings. “Because she loves you, and she doesn’t want you to think she’s weird.”

“Oh. I would never-“

“Exactly.” Romanoff stated. “Tell her that. Ask her to show you what she likes. Communicate.”

Steve nodded his head. “Thanks for the new information.” And without another word, slung his bag over his shoulder, exiting the gymnasium.

The other two Avengers just shook their heads and continued on, completely unaware of their Captains plans to make Y/N’s first night back the best night yet.

*****

An odd mix of awkwardness and sexual tension filled the atmosphere of the Stark Tower elevator. Steve had just picked Y/N up from the airport, excited to get his hands on his girl once again. Seven days apart was just seven too many for the pair, and as soon as the got within closed doors, they were on top each other. Y/N was caged in between Steve and the elevator’s wall, letting out small moans into his mouth as they kissed. The moment was pure bliss for the two, finally being reunited after what seemed like the longest week of their lives. What they hadn’t expected though, was the elevator doors opening to the one and only Dr. Bruce Banner.

After a moment of shock and the couple chaotically separating from each other, the scientist quietly shuffled into the lift. He leaned against the wall, making sure it was opposite of the one that Steve and Y/N we’re just making out against.

“So,” Bruce broke the silence after an uncomfortable minute, “how was your trip, Y/N?”

“Uh, it was really good.” She smiled halfheartedly, trying not to mind the fact that she was absolutely disheveled. “Lots of sun down there.”

Banner just nodded his head, eyes focused on the floor.

“How was your day, Bruce?” Steve nicely asked, hoping that there wasn’t any of Y/N’s lipgloss smeared on his face.

“It was fine.” 

The hum of the elevator was the only thing heard, until a small ‘ding’ alerted Steve and Y/N that it was their time to get off.

“Nice seeing you.” The girl gave a tiny wave as she stepped out.

“Yes, you too.” Banner politely smiled, but the couple didn’t miss the way it quickly disappeared when he thought that they were out of eyesight.

The elevator doors finally closed, leaving the couple alone at last. Steve placed down her luggage, that he was carrying, and Y/N let out a huge sigh.

“Well, that-“ She was cut off by Steve’s lips once again attaching themselves onto hers.

He quickly swept her up into his strong arms, her legs involuntary wrapping themselves around his waist. Y/N’s back met the wall, the door, and finally the bed as she was harshly shoved upon it, almost as harshly as Steve’s hands squeezed her ass. His lips trailed down her neck and chest, giving rough bites along the way.

“Wait, wait, Steve.” She said when he finally gave her the chance, tapping his shoulder multiple times to get his attention.

“Ya?” He reluctantly lifted his head from her still clothed chest.

“Wha-What the hell was that?” Y/N asked him, eyebrows furrowed.

“What was what?”

“That. You never act like that-that rough.” She was confused at his new change behaviour. Normally her Steve was much more gentle.

He sighed and shook his head, before getting off of her to stand up. “There’s just no pleasing you, is there?”

“Huh?” Y/N spoke, still laid out on the bed.

“I thought that you wanted this.” Steve was frustrated. All that he wanted to do was please her and she was making it impossible.

“I never said that.” She told him.

“I was trying to make things better for you.” He continued pacing angrily. “I didn’t want you think that our sex was... ‘vanilla’!”

Y/N gasped and sat up straight. “D-Did Natasha-?”

“Yes. Natasha told me.” Steve stated. He finally took a breath and placed his hands in his lips.

She gulped. “Nat promised to not-”

“So you did say it?”

Y/N had never seen the man look so hurt. “Well, yes. But-”

Steve puffed a breath before turning around to face away from her.

“But, Steve.” She stood up and quickly walked to the place in front of him, making them face to face. “I wasn’t meaning it in a bad way.”

“There’s only one way to mean it, Y/N.” He frowned.

“It’s not your fault, though. I never told you any of this.” She placed her hands on his broad shoulders, and rubbed in what she hoped was a comforting manner. 

“Then tell me.” Steve spoke up. “Tell me how you like it.”

“What if you think I’m a weirdo?” Y/N asked.

“Not possible. Look, uhm...” He separated from her touch, walking across the room to Y/N’s small laptop that sat on their dresser. “Let’s research.”

“Research?” She giggled.

“Ya! Come on, we can look things up on the internet. Sex things.” Steve added, a smile finally beginning to form in his face. “You tell me what you like, I’ll tell you what I like. We can make a night out of it!”

“Ok.” Y/N beamed at how adorable her boyfriend was being.

The couple took off their shoes and socks to get comfortable, before Steve grabbed the laptop and moved to sit on the bed first. “C’mon, babydoll.” He smirked, patting his lap. Y/N slightly licked her lips and Steve could completely sense the increase in her arousal. “There’s one! That turned you on, I can tell.”

Y/N blushed. “You caught me.”

The couple sat there for almost an hour, going through countless lists of sexual kinks and activities online. Y/N in Steve’s lap, the laptop in her’s. She offered to let him try using it, maybe help him get used to technology, but he declined. He knew that she could get it done much faster, and instead, Steve had the job of scribbling down some of their opinions on his notepad.

“Foot fetish.” Y/N read off from one of the kinky websites they were on. “You got one?” She asked, playfully rubbing his bare feet with her smaller ones.

“I wouldn’t say so.” He answered with a small chuckle. “Though your’s are quite adorable.”

“Their way to ticklish to anything with, anyways.” Y/N added, continuing to scroll through.

“What’s ‘urophilia’?” Steve questioned from over her shoulder.

“Um, you know... peeing on each other.”

“Sounds messy.” He remarked, making Y/N laugh.

“Swinging, group sex, threesomes?” She listed off, already knowing her own opinion on them.

“I don’t share.” Steve stated, making her turn slightly to face him.

“That works out, because I don’t want to be shared.” Y/N smiled, giving him a peck on the lips before turning back to the website. “Anal sex?”

“Jesus.” He puffed out a breath. “How do you feel about that one?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest.” She contemplated. “But never say never.”

Steve glanced up from his notes to the small computer screen, and read off the next one. “Dominance and submission?”

“Well... maybe that would be something I’d want to try.” Y/N told him, playing with his fingers sheepishly.

“I think we found a winner.” Steve joked. “My little submissive girl.”

“Wait.” She turned to face him once again. “Now, how did you know that I want to be the submissive one?”

He raised his eyebrows. “I still remember when we made out on our fifth date, and you told me that you liked it when I was dominant with you.”

Y/N scrunched up her nose. “You and your stupid eidetic memory.”

Steve let out a laugh before grabbing the computer from her and closing the screen, setting it and the notepad down on his bedside table.

“What was that for?” She asked him.

His big hands grabbed her hips and completely turned her so she was straddling him, eye to eye. “I’m getting impatient, sweetheart. All of this sex talk is making me want to get down to business.”

Y/N giggled and bit her bottom lip.

“Just tell me, my love. Lay it on me.” Steve encouraged. “All of it, every last thing. What do you like?”

She began to relax, the feeling of him rubbing circles on her hips with his thumbs being comforting. “Okay... so yes, I do like it when you’re dominant and I’m submissive. But, I don’t necessarily like being hurt that much.”

“Like whips and things?” Steve questioned.

“Ya, I don’t really think I want that.” Y/N told him. “To be honest, how rough you are doesn’t really matter to me. A lot of what I like is psychological.”

“Explain, darling.”

“Well, like, you know... names and stuff.” She picked at her fingers nervously, never having had a conversation like this before. Y/N was a virgin until she met Steve, and these secrets were buried deep inside of her.

“Like the name ‘babydoll’?” He assumed, toying with the straps of her sundress.

“Including that, yes.” She gulped. “But, there’s a bit more to it than that. I, uh...”

“Hey.” Steve lifted up her chin and rubbed her jawline soothingly. “No secrets, remember?”

Y/N nodded with small smile. “Have you, um, have you ever heard of a ‘daddy kink’?”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “A ‘daddy kink’? Like, a kink about your father?”

“No!” She shook her head repeatedly. “Not my father. It’s not a father kink, or a dad kink. It’s a daddy kink.” Y/N watched as Steve’s head tilted even harsher in confusion, and let out a sigh. “Forget it, it’s stupid.”

He stopped her from moving off of his lap by placing a strong arm around her torso. “No, I’m not going to forget it until you at least explain this whole thing to me.” Steve could see the doubt still in her beautiful eyes. “I won’t judge you, doll.”

“Fine. Um, a daddy kink is where a man is the ‘daddy’ role, and the woman is the ‘little girl’ role. Or it’s a ‘little boy’, depending on the circumstances.” Y/N explained, trying to stay confident in her decision to share this with him. “A-And it’s not that I picture my father or anything, ew, gross.” Steve chuckled, urging her on. “It’s you calling me your ‘baby girl’ and ‘princess’, rewarding me when I’m good, punishing me when I’m bad. It’s that I like feeling safe and protected and nurtured, but yet also dominated.” She finished, letting out the huge breath that she was holding.

“There. That wasn’t so hard to explain, was it?” He smiled at her. “And it’s nothing to be ashamed about. The idea of protecting and nurturing you is actually quite... sexy to me, if I’m being honest.”

“Really?” Y/N asked hopefully.

“Yes, really.” Steve rubbed her lower back. “I’d be more than willing to try this stuff out with you,” he lightly pushed her closer and whispered in her ear, “my little girl.” The sound of Steve calling her that sent chills down Y/N’s spine, and he instantly picked up on it. “Oh yes, I can already see the effect on you, baby. I bet you’re already dripping wet for me.” One of his hands ventured further south, slipping underneath her dress and into her underwear.

Y/N gasped at the feeling of Steve’s left thumb and forefinger slightly push into her opening at the same time.

He pulled the hand out and inspected it, watching her juices gleam in the light from their lamp. Steve let out a huge smirk, realizing that all of this was because of him. “One for me.” He licked off the index finger. “And one for you.”

Y/N glanced at the dripping thumb hesitantly, realizing that Steve expected her to suck off her own juices.

“C’mon, babydoll. Open up.” He urged, bringing the digit closer to her mouth. “Be a good girl for your daddy.”

And there it was, the final word. After their intense discussion, Y/N was relatively sure that he would say it sometime or another. But actually hearing him, in his deep, husky voice call himself ‘daddy’, she was pretty sure that she could cum right then and there.

So, Y/N did what she was told and opened up, taking his thick thumb in her mouth. Her juices were kind of sweet, a little tangy, but the real turn on was Steve’s facial expression as he watched her do it. He looked so turned on and it made her proud, as all she wanted was to be good for him.

Y/N released his thumb with a quiet ‘pop’ and licked her lips.

“My girl is such a good listener, doing exactly what her daddy tells her.” Steve praised, watching her pupils dilate by his every word.

“Thank you.” She said to him, voice becoming much smaller than it was earlier, a fact that Steve picked up on.

“‘Thank you’ who?”

“Thank you, daddy.” Y/N smiled, glad that Steve seemed to be enjoying this as much as she was. At least, that’s what the hard evidence pressed against her inner thigh said.

“Hmm... what am I ‘gonna do with you tonight?” He smirked, trying to formulate their evening plans in his head. This was Y/N’s first time completely opening up to him, and Steve wanted to make it perfect. “On your knees, baby girl.”

She did exactly as he told her, getting on the carpeted floor with no complaints. Steve was taking to this dominant role very well, and though it didn’t surprise her, it delighted her to no end.

He dropped his brown leather belt to the floor, before pulling down his khakis and boxer briefs, kicking them off of his ankles.

Y/N, once again, stared wide eyed at his huge erection, the size never ceasing to amaze her.

“You know what to do, baby.” Steve nodded down at her, watching as she opened her mouth wide and took him in. The feeling of the warm opening made him groan, throwing his head back. “Fuck, Y/N.”

She continued to bob her head up and down, taking enjoyment to the feeling of Steve’s big hands weaving themselves into her hair. He was forcing himself further down her throat, and she welcomed every inch.

Y/N wrapped her hands around his dick, as well, rubbing all of the areas that her mouth couldn’t reach. She could feel Steve beginning to fall apart inside of her, tasting his salty precum.

“Oh, god. Sweetie, stop, stop, stop.” He reluctantly pulled Y/N off of him, knowing that if she continued as she did, he’d cum too early.

“Did I mess up, daddy?” She asked, big E/C eyes staring up at him.

“Quite the opposite, princess.” Steve leaned down to pick up Y/N from under the arms, and placed her on the large bed. “You were so good, that daddy wants to reward you.”

He slipped off her panties, immediately licking a stripe up her pussy. “Oh, god. D-Daddy, that feels so nice.” She moaned, subconsciously tightening her thighs around his head. Steve’s hands decided to roughly grasp them, pulling her opening even closer to his stubbled cheeks.

His warm tongue rotated between circling her clit and teasing her opening, a fact that made Y/N’s hands claw at the stark white sheets. “I-I’m ‘gonna-“

“You’re ‘gonna what?” Steve questioned, taking a small pause from lapping at her core before immediately going back to it. The taste of her on his tongue was just too tempting. “Use your big girl words, babydoll.” He rasped against her clit, the vibrations arousing her even more.

“C-Cum. I’m ‘gonna cum.” Y/N stuttered out, hands grasping his blonde locks. And without warning, her hot, sticky juices flooded Steve’s mouth. He made sure to lick up every delicious drop, before standing up and throwing off his shirt.

Steve glanced down at his mess of a girlfriend on the bed, admiring his work. Y/N’s dress was bunched up around her hips, her cheeks flushed red, and hair strewn. But to him, she never looked more gorgeous.

“Tired, baby?” Steve basically taunted, knowing that he was going to wreck her even more no matter what her answer was.

Y/N nodded in response, the heavy breathing not allowing her to do much more.

“Well,” he began to crawl up the bed, getting closer to her, “that’s too bad, because daddy’s not done with you yet.”

Y/N inhaled a breath as Steve harshly lifted the dress over head, chucking it on the ground. He grabbed her waist and flipped her over, sending a hard smack to her bare ass.

“You going to be a good girl and take daddy’s cock?” He grunted in her ear before stepping away to grab a condom from the beside table, putting it on.

“Yes, daddy.” Y/N whined, lightly pushing her bottom against his member when he moved closer, practically begging for him to give it to her.

“That’s what I thought.” Steve stated, and without warning, pushed inside of her dripping hole. “Fuck, baby girl.” He groaned at the feeling of her walls around him.

Steve began to thrust in and out of her at a brutal pace, the sight of her being helpless beneath him making him uncontrollable. He reached one hand around their bodies and began to play with her breasts, hearing Y/N moan even louder.

Her face met the bedding, having a hard time keeping herself up as he fucked her from behind. Steve’s thick member was hitting all of the right spots of inside of her, and each time he squeezed her nipples, she felt even closer to cumming.

“D-Daddy.” Y/N mewled, feeling his other hand move southern to her clit. The combined stimulation of him touching her breasts, clitoris, and pounding into her vagina was all too much. So with a high pitched moan, she came for the second time that night.

“Damn, little girl. You’re going to make daddy cum.” Steve growled in her ear, leaning down to leave sloppy kisses on her upper back.

Y/N, knowing that he was on edge, used all of the power that she could muster to give his cock and particularly strong clench. She began to grind her hips back into his, finally triggering his release.

“Fuck, doll.” Steve spoke as he came inside of the condom, heavier than he’s ever cum before.

The couple stayed in position, panting, for a minute before he slowly pulled out of her. Y/N immediately collapsed on the bed as Steve threw out the used condom, joining her quickly after.

“Wow.” She breathed out, turning over on her back. “You were really good at that dominant daddy thing.”

Steve lightly chuckled. “Well, strategizing is what I do best.”

Y/N finally moved on her side to face him, grabbing his left hand in her right one. “I’m so sorry, Steve, about what you found out earlier.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He shook his head with a sigh, rubbing her palm with the pads of his fingers.

She retracted her hand and leaned up on her elbow, looking in to his shiny blue eyes. “No, no. You shouldn’t have had to hear it and I definitely shouldn’t have said it. It was disrespectful to you and I’m very sorry.” Y/N’s other hand stroked his arm, trying to express how apologetic she was really feeling. “Our first time together was one of the best nights of my whole life. And vanilla or not, I truly love having sex with you.”

Steve leaned up on his elbow as well, giving her his full attention. “Listen, baby. The way I’m looking at it, if that wouldn’t have happened, this wouldn’t have happened. So I more than forgive you. I love you, Y/N.” He tucked a stray H/C hair behind her ear. “And I will be your ‘daddy’ as long as you want me to.”

 She giggled and gave him a nod. “I love you too.”

The pair laid down flat on their backs, and Steve pulled Y/N into his side. They simply relaxed in each other’s company, thankful to even have these small moments of tranquility in their busy lives. The room smelt of sweat, sex, and love, but they wouldn’t have it any other way.

“So,” Steve interrupted the silence with a sly grin, “another round?”

Ah, that damn super soldier stamina was going to be the death of her.

Next Chapter

Feedback is always welcome!❤️

[ughitsnic]

Do You Believe in Fate?

Tom Holland x Reader, Harrison x Reader

Smut towards the end, not alot but its there i guess

Chapter 2:

Saturday night didn't come quick enough and even despite your nerves you were excited to finally, hopefully, get laid or at least let loose and have some fun. You couldn't even remember the last time you went out, it had got to have been months at least because the last time you did, you were still with your ex.

You sat quietly on the bus into town, Pete had introduced you to all of his friends. There were alot and you couldn't even remember half of their names. One name that did stick with you was Harrison, mainly because he was the most friendly of the group and made you feel welcome. He was sitting next to you.

“How come you haven't come out with us before?” Harrison asks looking at you.

You shrug. “Uni work? i've finished for summer now though so you might see more of me” you explain, smiling at him. God he was cute.

Hours could have passed, or maybe minutes all you knew was that you were way too drunk in a random club, the rest of the group nowhere to be seen as you and Harrison sat chatting, maybe flirting at the bar. You weren't too sure, he could just be being nice, you think to yourself. You take a long sip of your gin.

“Next week Claire is having a house party, you should come” he tells you, shouting over the music. You rack your brian trying to figure out who Claire was, whether she was the tall pink haired girl or the shorter brunette.

“Should i?”

“Yes, I’d love to see more of you” you look at him confused. “Cmon, i love this song” he pulls you up off of the stool and into the crowded dance floor. If you were being honest you didn't recognise the song, and it wasn't that good but you danced along with him regardless, your drink in your hand spilling as your bodies moved together.

“Hey this club is dead, let's go” Pete shouts, resting his hand on your arm. You finish your drink and follow him out, Harrison close behind you. You had never been into the new club, it was packed full of sweaty bodies, that you had to squeeze past to get to the bar.

“I'll pay for this round” Harrison says into your ear. “Shots?” you couldn't say no. The more you drank, the more you leaned into his touch.

“Don't be shy” the alcohol was now definitely doing all the talking, a smirk appeared on his face as you place his large hands on your waist trailing them down to your hips and pulling you closer. Your bodies now pressed together, his hands falling to your ass, giving it a little squeeze, a blush creeping onto your cheeks. A giggle leaves your lips.

“When Pete spoke about you, he failed to mention just how beautiful you are y/n” Harrison whispers in your ear, you feel your cheeks burn once again. He quickly moves his hand so it's resting on your cheek, your heart pounds waiting for him to make a movie.

“Can i kiss you?”

“Uh… y-yes” He quickly presses his lips on yours, chills running down your spine. The kiss wasn't innocent by any means, it was hungry and full of lust. Your fingers dangle their way through his hair tugging as you open your mouth further to invite his tongue in.

���Maybe we should get out of here” you suggest, breathless and he simply nods. Neither of you bothered saying goodbye to anyone as you left. The taxi ride was short but despite this you couldn't keep your hands off of each other. He struggles with the lock as his lips continue to attack your neck, no doubt leaving marks. You both kick off your shoes, discarding your clothes throughout the flat as you stumble into what must have been his room onto his bed only in your underwear, he pushes you back on the bed and kneels down leaving wet kisses on your inner thigh.

“Stop teasing harrison” you whine. “Fuck me please” you didnt care how pathetic you sounded, you needed him now.  he stands back up and you watch him step out of his boxers, you gasp at the size of him as he runs his hand up and down his length.

“I don't think you can take this baby girl” he was smug as he ran his tip along your folds.

“Please” you moan reaching for him.

“So wet for me”

“Just for you” as the words left your mind, your thoughts immediately rushed back to Tom. It was wrong, imagining it was him pounding into you, fucking you like you hadn't ever been before.

"Oh fuck To- there Harrison right there" you struggle closing your eyes, images of the brown haired boy filling your mind as you feel your orgasm wash over you.

You both lay next to each other breathless.

"Was that as good for you?" Harrison questions. You leave a single kiss on his shoulder.

"The best" you answer honestly. "But" you drag out. "I should get going" The guilt was already setting in.

"Please stay, it's late and i'm a cuddler"

"Lucky for you, i am too" you smile rolling back over and he pulls you closer, your head resting on his chest, closing your eyes, what are you doing y/n?

Finally got around to editing. ive been so busy at work the past week maybe 2. so glad i only have 2 shifts this week which means i have alot more time to write and edit it. requests are open. also if you wanna be tagged on this story you can dm me or shoot me an ask. im gonna try and actually update regularly so yep i think thats pretty much it. ive been listening to harry styles alot more than usual and i might do some imagines based on a few of his songs i dont know lol

///

@sunflxwer99

[spicychickentendy]

Admit Stuff: 1-92 😎

Shit ok, I was not expecting someone to ask for all of them at once but here we go..

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

- Fuck yes I would 🤤

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

- Nope..they don’t deserve my time

3. Have you taken someone’s virginity?

- Yepperz

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

- I wouldn’t consider it an issue but it’s very important

5. Did you hang out with a person you like recently?

- Yeah I guess you could say that we hung out ☺️

6. What are you excited for?

- I can’t wait to watch the new episode of Dickinson that just came out today!

7. What happened tonight?

- Well last night I had a few drinks and listened to some hella good music 👌🏼

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

- No I don’t but remember that the world is shit so have a friend with you

9. Is confidence cute?

- Fuck me, yasss!

10. What is the last beverage you had?

- I’m currently drinking water, remember to stay hydrated!

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

- Fully trust? Hmm...probably 1

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

- Yepperz

13. What are you going to do Saturday night?

- After work I’m getting my haircut and then going on a date ☺️

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

- Gasss...a bitches gaslight just went on this morning 🙄

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

- Well I sure hope so

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next three months?

- Maybe?

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

- That would have to be my partner in crime

18. The last time you felt broken?

- Yesterday

19. Have you had sex today?

- Not yet but the day is still young 😏

20. Are you starting to realize something?

- I need to keep myself busy with things I enjoy doing

21. Are you in a good mood?

- I’m not in a bad mood 🤷🏼‍♀️

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

- Fuck to the no...well not sober

23. Are your eye’s the same color as your dads?

- Thats a negative ghost rider

24. What do you want right this second?

- To have a glass of whiskey in a nice bath

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another boy/girl?

- Honestly it depends on the situation

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

- Yepperz

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

- Nahh, laughter is hella important

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

- The conversation between me and this girl about lube at my job 😂

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

- Yes 🥺

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

- Fuck to the no

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

- No I try my best not to hate anyone

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

- Totally 😘

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

- No, I’m not perfect

34. Listening to?

- Lover by G Flip

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

- I’m in school so sometimes

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

- She’s at work😘

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

- I believe in lust at first sight

38. Who did you last call?

- My love

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

- My wife in our living room

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

- I always give Heather a goodbye kiss before I leave for work

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

- Honestly I don’t remember

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

- It would be very difficult since they live in a different state

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

- Who hasn’t?

44. Do you tan in the nude?

- I am hella fucking white..when I try to tan I just get burned 😂

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

- No

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

- Unfortunately no

47. Who was the last person to call you?

- My lover

48. Do you sing in the shower?

- Of course

49. Do you dance in the car?

- ALL 👏🏻THE 👏🏻TIME👏🏻

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

- I have but I was not any good at it

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

- Um probably on my wedding day

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

- Nahh I enjoy them

53. Is Christmas stressful?

- Dealing with my family is stressful

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

- I don’t think I have

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

- Hmmm...I’ll have to say blueberry

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were kid?

- I wanted to be a firefighter, police officer, or a professional bank robber lol

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

- Hells to the yes

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

- Yep yep yep

59. Taking a vitamin daily?

- I tried but I’m not the greatest at remembering

60. Wear slippers?

- I have some fluffy rainbow slippers 😊

61. Wear a bath robe?

- I don’t wear one but I think I own one

62. What do you wear to bed?

- My birthday suit or a oversized shirt

63. First Concert?

- It was a P!nk concert ☺️

64. Wal-mat, Target or Kmart?

- Wal-mart but with complaining

65. Nike or Adidas?

- Nike

66. Cheetos or Fritos?

- Definitely Cheetos

67. Peanuts or sunflower seeds?

- Umm peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

- Hmm I guess off the top of my head I’ll say the 1

69. Ever take dance lessons?

- Nahh my goofy style just comes natural 😘

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

- I don’t want to limit my partner, I’ll support whatever they decide to do and whatever makes them happy

71. Can you curl your tongue?

- Ohh yes I can do a lot of things with my tongue 😘

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

- Nahh

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

- Oddly I have 👉🏻👈🏻

74. What is your favorite book?

- Oh that is a difficult question. That is like asking which one is your favorite child..

75. Do you study better with or without music?

- For the most part I study better with music

76. Regularly burn incense?

- Nahh I don’t

77. Ever been in love?

- Only once and still going strong🖤

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

- I really want to see Fletcher in person

79. What was the last concert you saw?

- I went to see King Princess and it was fucking amazing!

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

- It depends on my mood but I love a cup of hot tea with some honey

81. Tea or coffee?

- I have been drinking more tea lately

82. Favorite type of cookie?

- All cookies lol

83. Can you swim well?

- I mean I probably won’t drown but I don’t know about well

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

- That’s a negative ghost rider

85. Are you patient?

- For the most part

86. DJ or Band, at a wedding?

- Bands are groovy but I’m going to have to go with a DJ

87. Ever won a contest?

- I believe so

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

- Nope, I’m poor

89. Which are better black or green olives?

- Umm black?

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

- Eh, I sure didn’t fucking wait

91. Best room for fireplace?

- Living room

92. Do you want to get married?

- Well I’m already married sooo