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aranarumei · 8 months

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the anomalous agate, commentary

hello! I said I could talk about the anomalous agate forever, so here is me, talking about it. this is a post covering just like, overall notes I had when writing… maybe I’ll post about specific scenes or chapters sometimes, but I was really compelled to at least talk about overall things because unlike individual chapters, I think it’s something that’s less likely to be picked apart? so, all of that’s under the cut.

okay, first up! the biggest challenge in writing this fic was essentially, how do I make this fic feel like it’s a case from The Case Files of Jeweler Richard?

Based on the first two volumes alone, there’s a couple of things I think the series really exemplifies. First, it can examine things that are fairly mundane, and place value and importance on even small details. Second, Richard has a wide variety of knowledge, and I always read The Case Files of Jeweler Richard and come away with a new sense of the world. There’s something I, or Seigi, hadn’t really considered before, that I’m now considering. Finally, Seigi’s got all of his quirks—I didn’t try to match his exact style of narration, but I aimed to blend my own style and his in terms of vibe, and did my best to, at the very least, express his feelings accurately. So whether the wording of how he says things are exactly how he’d express it, the base emotions are correct.

To address the second point, this means that I have to talk about a wide variety of things! A lot of what the anomalous agate references is stuff I already knew of—champagne’s brand protection, Johannes Vermeer and ultramarine, The Little Prince, the commonality of dyed agate… but there’s some stuff I knew absolutely nothing about, the biggest of them being makeup and coffee. For coffee, I ended up watching quite a few bits of stuff from James Hoffman’s YouTube channel, and for makeup I watched a couple of video tutorials and read quite a few blog posts. Then I referenced Wikipedia to doublecheck any information I thought I knew. For the gems, I trawled quite a few websites, the main ones being the websites of GIA, International Gem Society, and American Gem Society. And I tried to avoid as many crystal healing websites as I could. Any inaccuracies present are my own fault.

As for why I picked coffee, a drink I don’t particularly like (though I’m a huge fan of coffee ice cream), and a subject that isn’t of necessary relevance to the rest of the story, unlike makeup, it was because I’d had a really good tiramisu crepe cake a few months ago, and thought it was such a neat form of tiramisu. It ended up being a nice choice, considering that Hanzawa and Seigi met up at a café twice!

And speaking of references! As a fun challenge, I made sure to add a reference to every single case mentioned in the first two volumes. It helped ground the fact that this was, indeed, part of The Case Files of Jeweler Richard for me, and I felt like it ended up strengthening some bits, too, but I mostly did it just because I wanted to see if I could. Some cases are mentioned multiple times, but I’ll list what I think is the first instance for every case below:

case 1-1: Coffee at a café was meant to be pleasant; I had no desire to remind myself of what it felt like to work night shift after night shift as a security guard. [ch 1] case 1-2: “When you put it that way… there’s definitely times I don’t want to say everything about myself,” I conceded, remembering how I’d felt when confronted by Mami-san’s deep, uncomfortable sense of shame. [ch 2] case 1-3: Come to think of it, he’d called himself thoughtless for selling that amethyst to Takatsuki-san, who’d been moved by the powers it was said to possess. [ch 3] case 1-4: “Department stores existed before you began working here, but only once you took an interest in diamonds did you notice the kinds of jewels they sold.” [ch 1] bonus (to wish upon a rose quartz): Remembering it now, it was hard to explain why I hadn’t had one in such a long time, but I hadn’t developed the habit of searching out cafés, bakeries, and sweet shops until I started working at Jewelry Étranger, either. [ch 1] bonus (cleopatra’s pearls): Since he’d just mentioned her, my mind flashed to Cleopatra—she was certainly an image that was out of sorts with Hanzawa. [ch 3] bonus (daily life at étranger ~ professor kunz and morgan): I hadn’t heard of moganite until now—unless I was mishearing morganite, but Richard had such wonderful pronunciation I thought that was impossible. [ch 1] case 2-1: “Well, Hajime-kun was much younger, but his circumstances were different…” [ch 1] case 2-2: Just like Yamamoto-san trying to buy herself a garnet. [ch 1] case 2-3: It was obvious in the way I’d found out about Tanimoto-san’s love for rocks and minerals, as well as her friend Shinkai-san’s dance company, or, in a more negative light, Hase-san visiting at the exact time I happened to be in the back of the shop, but when I told Richard this, he simply brushed it off. [ch 1] (technically the above is the first instance for case 2-4, too, but I’ll point out another instance) case 2-4: Though I doubted this surprise encounter would go as badly as the last one had, the sharp sense of déjà vu kept me wary. [ch 2] bonus (the serendipity of euclase): I’d only recently put my foot in my mouth by comparing us to a married couple, so I refrained from trying to make comparisons. [ch 5 / epilogue]

second! I wanted to talk a bit about some of the themes in the anomalous agate… this will probably be a bit more unstructured, but it contains some stuff I wanted to express, so I’ll to my best.

The title of this fic is the anomalous agate, and it is the stone that Hanzawa Masato ends up purchasing, but it’s not entirely what this fic is about, right? Lapis lazuli occupies a pretty big part of the chapter, and it’s an important part, too. So… why? Why have two stones, why have a title that doesn’t reflect the stone that Richard talks about, etc.?

The answer for this comes in the form of how I approached this story and how I feel about Hanzawa Masato—fundamentally, he’s a kind of tricky guy. He’s an inherently mysterious type of person, with a lot of layers and facets to him. And while I’m in love with these universes crossing over, I felt like it would be disrespectful to throw Hanzawa into the universe of The Case Files of Jeweler Richard and have him be laid completely bare. So, from the beginning, I wanted to work under the limitations that whatever change Hanzawa went through, and whatever we learned, it wouldn’t be something dramatic. And because Hanzawa’s so many things, I had another idea: as much as I could, when I introduced an idea into a fic, I’d try to make it two, instead of one. It’s an easy way to create a Hanzawa that feels properly multilayered, because making everything two things means he can’t be simple, and Hanzawa Masato is never simple. It's also an easy way to have Seigi misunderstand him in a way that shows that Hanzawa’s kind of a tough nut to crack.

...So, maybe you’re beginning to see why there’s two gems. The first chapter actually begins with a talk about authenticity, and it’s only in chapter two that Hanzawa brings up the concept of being anomalous. Both authenticity and being anomalous are topics that influence the kinds of things Hanzawa thinks about, and so do lapis lazuli and blue lace agate. Seigi realizes Hanzawa’s “something like a birthday gift” is a gift for himself, but he never once learns that Hanzawa’s birthday is in April, so it’s not for a special event at all that he’s buying this. Though I hadn’t intended it, considering that the guidebook says Hanzawa’s only got a younger sister, Seigi realizes that his older sister may not have been who taught him how to use makeup, but he doesn’t realize that Hanzawa might not even have an older sister. (This one was truly unintentional… I guess Hanzawa gets one over me, here!) Cafés are soothing, but coffee can stimulate one into sleeplessness. Seigi parallels Tashiro, and Hanzawa parallels Richard, but at the end, Seigi feels that it’s he and Hanzawa who are the similar ones. Seigi discusses the merits of concealment versus enhancement, and Hanzawa says that they’re the same thing, for him. Two things and one thing, again. Fox or prince, both are tamed. Two and one.

Essentially, I forced myself to make sure that any idea I introduced had a certain level or complexity and/or depth. I couldn’t just make a statement and then move on from it without exploring or developing it. Uniqueness, for example, is a term that gets used in quite a few ways in this story. I don’t think any of this really comes across as being intentionally a sort of “doubling,” but I think having this in mind while I wrote really forced me to be thoughtful about what I was writing.

third! I thought I’d talk in a few more specifics about when exactly this fic is set.

This happens mainly in the October of Seigi’s second year of college, which, now that I’ve read Volume 3, seems placed pretty perfectly? In case 3-1, he mentions Jewelry Étranger opened in April, and he’d been working there for six months, placing the first case around October as well… my fic ends when it’s November, but I’m still pleased by how close the time is. The reason it’s set here, of course, is because that’s when the cultural festival will be happening in Miyano’s third year. I’ve talked at length about what I see Hanzawa and Tashiro being up to around this time, particularly surrounding Tashiro crossdressing for the cultural festival, and the exploration of their relationship along with their own personal issues, and this was the perfect backdrop to set against this case. This is because I wanted Hanzawa’s changing to not be solely motivated by Seigi, so I needed sufficient events to be happening in the background that would prompt him to actually make that purchase of blue lace agate. And that’s why there’s a three-week gap between Seigi and Hanzawa meeting in that café and when he actually purchases that blue lace agate. The exact details of what happens there are vague, but the bonus scene I wrote shows at least some of it.

I’d planned to have Tashiro barely cameo in the background at first, but while I was outlining, I realized that Hanzawa was the kind of stubborn guy who needed a lot of prompting, and that Seigi wouldn’t understand half of what was going on if he’d never met Tashiro. Thus, Tashiro made an appearance, to which I’m very glad for! I think he acted as a really disarming presence for Hanzawa, and allowed Seigi, and thus, the audience, to see a lot of Hanzawa that we hadn’t been privy to before.

Here's the timeline of main events in the anomalous agate:

October 6th, 2018 — SATURDAY: Hanzawa Masato visits Jewelry Etranger for the first time. October 8th, 2018 — MONDAY: Nakata Seigi and Tanimoto Shouko have mandatory English class. October 11th, 2018 — THURSDAY: Nakata Seigi and Hanzawa Masato meet for the second time. October 12th, 2018 — FRIDAY: Kaede and Nakata Seigi wave to each other on campus. October 12th, 2018 — LATE FRIDAY: Kaede informs both Nakata Seigi and Hanzawa Masato that the senior harassing her has been expelled from the university. October 14th, 2018 — SUNDAY: Hanzawa Masato visits Jewelry Etranger for the second time. October 20th, 2018 — SATURDAY: Hanzawa Masato, Tashiro Gonzaburou, and Nakata Seigi run into each other at a cafe. November 3rd, 2018 — SATURDAY: Tashiro Gonzaburou’s last cultural festival occurs. November 10th, 2018 — SATURDAY: Hanzawa Masato visits Jewelry Etranger for the third time.

finally! some random notes I didn’t know how to categorize:

If you’re wondering who Kaede is, during the volume 5 extras, Hirano mentions this girl named Kaede that Hanzawa hangs out with often, and then asks if they’re dating. They’re not—but in ch 27, we spot him at the movies with a friend of his who’s a girl, and I’d decided that this is the Kaede Hirano mentions. That’s why she’s into movies—because that’s the only thing I could think of that’s even somewhat related to her appearance. The rest is kind of invented whole cloth… it ended up being helpful to get a kind of outside perspective on Hanzawa, so I was happy with how it turned out, and I hope it didn’t feel like she was just a boring plot device.

Also, when Hanzawa reminds Seigi that they’ve got each other’s numbers at the end, to me it’s the sort of thing like where in the early MCU movies, they’d end with getting contacted about the Avengers Initiative, or whatever… I haven’t watched them properly. But it’s a sign that like oh, stuff is going to cross over! So, for me, that’s a way of telling myself that if I ever feel like it, when I’m writing Hanzawa, he can call up Seigi, and I’ll have +20k of justification for that choice. Also, even though I said I didn’t want Seigi to be like most important life-changing person in Hanzawa’s life, I still did want them to have some of an effect on each other. And this is kind of proof of that.

edit: FUCK I FORGOT TO MENTION TEMPERATURE. hanzawa's associated with the cold and tashiro's associated with warmth. thats whys seigis always shivering or feeling gusts of wind when hanzawa shows up. and why he meets tashiro on a super warm day. richard gets some description mentions aligned with cold, specifically when he's asking seigi about his bruise, and that kind of mirrors hanzawa making tashiro sit still while he pulls out the eyelash curler. only there his hands are warm because like. hanzashiro's weird.

and for anyone who read the whole thing: some images for you! first, here's a sketch page that I messed around with while writing, so I could get some visual feelings:

and here's a screenshot of what editing / writing for ch 4 looked like when I discovered the magic of track changes:

#kiri.txt #commentary #the anomalous agate #in this essay i will #dunno if this'll be interesting to anyone...?

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rwby-redux · 2 years

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Deconstruction

Worldbuilding: Superstitions

Rabbit’s feet. Crows. Four-leafed clovers.

RWBY’s not exactly subtle about its sources of inspiration. And since subtlety’s gone out the window, I figured that gives me license to do the same:

This is, without a doubt, the laziest worldbuilding I’ve ever seen.

You know what? No. I can’t even call it worldbuilding, because that at least implies someone made the effort to come up with an original idea. This is taking unaltered, real-world beliefs and slapping them into RWBY’s setting without understanding what they’re borrowing. To reiterate a point I made elsewhere: All symbolism in the show is grounded in concepts that are contextually relevant to us, not to the unique groups of people that inhabit Remnant. It’s one of the reasons why Clover’s gimmick feels so uninspired. Every one of his accessories lacks any sort of connective tissue to the cultures of this setting.

They don’t exist for the benefit of enriching the lore, or shaping our characters’ experiences. They’re just placeholders at best. At worst, they’re neon signs loudly declaring to the world: FORESHADOWING AHEAD. PAY ATTENTION.

Well, I paid attention, RWBY. And for the record, you might regret that I did.

But before I get too ahead of myself, let’s first breakdown what superstitions are, and where they come from.

Broadly speaking, superstitions are beliefs or practices rooted in the supernatural, attributed to things such as fate, magic, gods, the paranormal, or fear of the unknown. Superstitions can involve a wide array of subject matter—plants, animals, numbers, objects, actions, and so on.

The underlying question—why are we predisposed to creating and believing in them—has to do with biology.

In psychology, heuristics is the process by which humans use mental shortcuts to arrive at decisions. They can be largely thought of as behaviors based on intuited pattern recognition. If you look outside your window and see dark clouds, for example, you might bring an umbrella without bothering to check the forecast first. Your brain makes the connection of overcast sky = rain, and forgoes the intermediary step of verifying that assumption, because it’s a deduction based on an established pattern.

Evolutionarily, pattern-recognition has a huge payoff in that it allows an animal to make quick, relatively accurate judgments. Natural selection will therefore gravitate toward heuristic reasoning, on the basis that making the occasional incorrect association is outweighed by the benefits of making correct ones. [1]

However, heuristics is not immune to false associations. Because humans are hardwired to look for patterns, we can fall into the trap of assuming that correlation equals causation. Do you have particularly good days whenever you wear a certain jacket? That must mean the jacket is lucky!

These patterns of observation tend to be self-reinforcing, because our brains are subconsciously looking for “evidence” that supports it, while discarding anything that refutes it. [2] The more mounting evidence piles up, the less likely we are to dismiss something as a coincidence. (This is also partly what causes us to believe in stereotypes.)

Of course, there are other factors involved. Sometimes a superstition endures because it can’t be readily proven or disproven. (The belief in spirits, deities, and even cryptofauna, are actually a decent example of the “proving a negative” logical fallacy.) Other times, superstitions hang around because they’re part of a culture’s common knowledge, having been widely-circulated for generations. (Everyone knows that you’re supposed to throw salt over your shoulder to ward off bad luck. My grandma told me so, and her grandma before her.) And of course, superstitions might linger because people comply with them out of uncertainty or fear. (I know that the universe isn’t secretly eavesdropping on my conversation and going to ruin my interview today. But just in case, I better knock on this wooden table.)

You get the idea.

Because heuristic reasoning is a quality innate to all people, it means that virtually every culture you can think of has its own superstitions.

One of my personal favorites is the omission of the number 4 in Sino-Tibetan languages. Also known as tetraphobia, this belief originated from the word “four” (四, pinyin: sì, jyutping: sei3) sounding similar to the word for “death” (死, pinyin: sǐ, jyutping: sei2) in many varieties of Chinese. In a few languages, “four” and “death” are actually homophones.

Because of the association, quite a few East Asian cultures go out of their way to avoid the number four whenever possible (presumably, because using the number carries a perceived risk of invoking death). Examples of this include elevators that skip the fourth floor (and by extension, the 14th, 24th, 34th, and 40th – 49th floors). People are discouraged from speaking the word “four” on the days of major festivals, or in the presence of loved ones who are sick. Similarly, it’s considered bad luck to give a gift to someone that comes in a group or set of four.

Apparently, it’s even worse if the number four is used in phone numbers, addresses, business cards, or ID numbers, because then it’s being personally attached to someone.

Interestingly, not all superstitions carry the same connotations. Domestic cats, for example, can be associated with either positive or negative beliefs, depending on the culture. Ancient Egypt famously adored cats, with several of their gods (Mafdet, Bastet, Sekhmet) being depicted with feline heads upon the shoulders of women. This association likely came about as a result of domestic cats being effective at killing venomous snakes, thus protecting their owners. Additionally, their ability to hunt granivores would have kept households safe from pests. It’s unsurprising that cats acquired a reputation as protectors against evil.

Conversely, anti-cat sentiments were extremely prevalent across Western and Central Europe during the medieval and early modern periods. France in particular was well known for the practice of burning them alive. Their association with the occult (in particular, paganism, devilry, and witchcraft) engendered suspicion and hatred, leading to beliefs about them being unlucky, or harbingers of evil. Black cats in particular still bear the stigma in many Western cultures, where crossing paths with one is said to result in death.

Even if you don’t believe in superstitions (I certainly don’t) there’s no getting around how fascinating they are. They’re the byproduct of glitchy brain chemistry, environment, and culture, scrambling to make sense of something with the tools and context it has on hand.

So, now that we’ve broken down what superstitions are and where they come from, we can finally tackle the next question: Why do they matter to worldbuilding?

I’d argue there’s a few reasons why. The obvious answer is that good worldbuilding seeks to immerse, by making its lore either realistic, or credibly believable within a specific framework. Because superstitions are such common and enduring aspects of human culture, then their absence can look rather jarring and conspicuous.

The other reason why superstitions are important to worldbuilding is because of their application as a storytelling device. Now, most of us, I’d wager, aren’t walking around with our lives being shaped by the whims of some unseen puppetmaster. In works of art, however, we’re given the ability to align the stars and give these details a secondary meaning. Superstitions, when properly leveraged, can have a huge narrative payoff.

In A Song of Ice and Fire, the Dothraki revere and worship horses, due to their role as the foundation of Dothraki culture. Any body of water which a horse will not drink from is regarded with superstitious loathing, hence why the Dothraki refer to the ocean as the poison water, and refuse to cross it. The books waste no time in establishing the Dothraki as indomitable warriors beholden to none, which is why their fear of saltwater is so noteworthy—it’s the one thing that can stop them.

When Daenerys Targaryen’s khalasar sails with her from Qarth, it signifies their conviction in her power. Keep in mind that the Dothraki are not only terrified of saltwater, but believe that the ocean is where the world ends. Their willingness to confront a powerful, deeply-held fear, in order to follow the leadership of a woman (who typically hold second-class status in Dothraki culture) is huge. We, the audience, understand the narrative significance of this event, because the storytelling organically integrated the superstition into the plot. There’s a purpose, and more importantly, a payoff to being told that saltwater is terrifying to them. Crossing the ocean is no longer just a simple action connecting the characters between points A and B—it now holds a deeper meaning. It’s a sign of Daenerys coming into her own.

It's satisfying, right? To see something that could’ve been written off as incidental flavor text being given new life.

Details like this also reward your audience for paying attention. Their engagement with the lore is deepening their overall experience with your story. That sudden epiphany of—Holy shit, this was being foreshadowed by the worldbuilding—is going to make the audience care about their investment.

That’s why this type of worldbuilding matters. When done correctly, its effects on a story can be undeniably powerful.

When mishandled, however…

…you end up with RWBY.

RWBY is odd in that its superstitions are not only heavily cherry-picked from our world, but also largely absent from the story save for two specific cases: Clover and Qrow. The reason for that, as I’m sure you’ve guessed, is because both of them have probability Semblances (good luck and misfortune, respectively). For now, we’ll skip over the bizarre, arbitrary, semantic differences between their Semblances. As needlessly confusing as they are, the distinction between them isn’t relevant right this second.

Let’s start with Clover, since his character is arguably the gimmickier of the two.

Clover’s first appearance. | Source: Volume 7, Episode 1: “The Greatest Kingdom.”

At least Qrow’s character has the benefit of being partially developed. By contrast, Clover’s is largely dependent on his gimmick, to the point where his personality is atrophied. Lest you think I’m joking, let’s go ahead and list all of the overt symbols tied to his character:

His forename, Clover. Although it’s a widely-accepted fact that four-leafed clovers are considered lucky, no one seems to agree on where the belief got started. It’s possible that the superstition is simply based on their rarity: only 1 in 5,000 clovers has this trait.

His surname, Ebi: Ebi is likely a shortening of Ebisu (えびす), the Japanese god of luck and fishermen.

The horseshoe: It’s theorized that horseshoes got their reputation as protective talismans because they were made from iron. Numerous European cultures held that iron repelled the fae, and that horseshoes—being a common source of the metal—would repel them when nailed to the side of a house. Another tradition claims that luck is contained in a horseshoe, and that whether it’s lucky or not depends on the direction it faces. Downward-facing can either be lucky (because the luck pours onto the person under it) or unlucky (because the luck is spilling out and escaping).

The rabbit’s foot: The severed foot of a rabbit is carried as a good luck charm across multiple cultures in Europe, Africa, and the Americas. There are variations of the superstition, with each tracing their origins to practices such as African Diaspora hoodoo, or the European Hand of Glory.

The wishbone: Also known as the furcula, a bone found in most birds and several of the nonavian dinosaurs. In the Late Medieval Period, a goose’s wishbone was used for divination of the weather.

His weapon, Kingfisher: There are several references being made here. His weapon being a fishing pole alludes to both Ebisu, the god of luck and fishermen; and the Aesop fable, “A Fisherman’s Good Luck.” The eponymous bird (of the family Alcedinidae) is considered a good omen by several Bornean and Polynesian cultures, and is the source of the Greek idiom “halcyon days” (idyllic or peaceful times).

It's pretty obvious that the show wanted Clover to be a contrast to Qrow in terms of their Semblances. Hence why Clover has so many lucky objects associated with his character—to emphasize that contrast. The problem is that not only do they not work, but they reveal several other underlying flaws.

The first is that Clover’s character over-relies on this contrast, to the point of meaninglessness. Unlike Qrow, he doesn’t struggle with his Semblance, so there’s no setup for future conflict. Whereas Qrow deals with depression and alcoholism as a consequence of his Semblance, Clover is unhindered by his. Because it doesn’t appear to add anything meaningful to his character development, it makes all of his associated good luck charms feel flat and token. They exist purely to remind us that Clover is lucky. That’s it.

The second—the one that I keep harping on—is that none of the symbols associated with Clover are relevant to RWBY’s cultures. Ebisu is a Japanese god, not an Atlesian one. Rabbit’s feet were part of the spiritual traditions upheld by enslaved Black Americans, not people living in Solitas. I mean, for fuck’s sake, at least two of his symbols (clovers and kingfishers) are based on species that don’t even live in the arctic circle. There’s literally no in-universe justification for why Clover has these associations apart from them being there for the audience’s benefit.

And, like, if I can be completely blunt for a second here: it’s insulting.

It’s insulting that the show (and its writers) have such contempt for their audience’s intelligence, that they feel the need to plaster every square inch of Clover with overt references to good luck (as if his fucking name didn’t give it away within the first ten seconds). Have a shred of respect for your audience by not introducing your character twirling a horseshoe around his finger. Surely the people watching the show can be trusted to sleuth out this information without RWBY holding our hands the entire way. Would it seriously have been that difficult to, for example, have a throwaway moment in V2 where Weiss offhandedly mentions something that Atlesians consider lucky? Maybe people in Solitas like to wear talismans fashioned from polar bear claws. Who knows. But imagine how much better it would have been if Clover’s character had been introduced with him carrying something like that, instead of all that other junk. It would have been a lot more satisfying because it reinforces pre-established lore, provides internal continuity, and gives your audience the chance to go, “Hey, that looks familiar. Where have I seen that before…?” Again, it rewards your audience for paying attention to the little details.

There’s a lot more I could say about Clover’s gimmick (trust me), but I think I’ve gnawed on that particular bone long enough. Let’s move on to our second topic.

Qrow, as depicted in the Volume 4 opening. | Source: RWBY Wiki contributor user:ChishioKunrin.

Before I start tearing it to shreds, let me preface this by saying that I really like Qrow’s overall concept. His Semblance is fascinating because of the implications it has for the lore, in addition to the ways it affects Qrow’s mental health. His alcoholism (and to an extent, his cynicism and self-loathing) are byproducts of a Semblance that forces him to self-isolate because it indiscriminately targets both enemies and allies. It also doesn’t help that several of Remnant’s modern philosophies tout the idea that Semblances are a reflection one’s innate personality. There’s no way that Qrow hasn’t internalized that rhetoric, and the implications it carries for his particular Semblance. (To say nothing of whether or not Qrow’s Semblance could be considered RWBY’s version of a disability.)

All very interesting stuff. On a surface level, anyway. From an execution standpoint, it’s in need of some polish.

Qrow: Did you know that crows are a sign of bad luck? Old superstition, but it's how I got my name. […] …some people are just born unlucky. My Semblance isn't like most—it's not exactly something I do. It's always there, whether I like it or not. I bring misfortune. I guess you could call me a bad luck charm. [3]

Wow, who would have guessed that the character named after a crow was meant to be unlucky. I never would have figured that out.

Qrow’s issue overlaps with Clover’s, in the sense that it’s yet another instance where crows being unlucky is a superstition unique to our world, not RWBY’s. Now, is it entirely possible that Mistral’s superstitions could have converged on that belief? Sure. It wouldn’t be a stretch to think that different cultures might look at this animal—an extremely intelligent, jet-black bird that eats carrion—and arrive at the same conclusions. But RWBY could have, at the bare minimum, provided some additional context as to why. Maybe the superstition comes from a local religion, or from a historical event that’s been very heavily mythologized. Something, anything, that might have made the belief at least a little original.

The other issue I have with Qrow’s symbolism is how it relates to his transformation ability. And the…frankly obvious oversight that Ozpin somehow missed.

It’s fairly common knowledge that corvids (crows and ravens in particular) have been harassed and killed by people, throughout human history. Part of it was due to retaliation by farmers. The other part of it had to do with prejudice, and the fact that (at least in the Americas and Europe) they were seen as portentous. Agents of evil. Heralds of misfortune.

If crows in Remnant are regarded the same way, then why the hell would Ozpin deliberately turn him into one? Qrow’s bird form is supposed to make him inconspicuous, not capitalize on a widespread belief that crows are a sign of bad luck. What’s to stop some superstitious asshole from seeing Qrow fly by, and think to himself, Fuck that bird, let me grab my gun that shoots magical bullets and kill it.

Whether the show wants to admit it or not, that sort of myopic decision-making paints a target on Qrow’s back.

All because Ozpin thought the irony would be funny.

[1] Foster, Kevin and Kokko, Hanna. “The evolution of superstitious and superstition-like behaviour.” Academic paper. Proceedings of the Royal Society B. January 07, 2009. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2615824/]

[2] Helms, A. J. “Worldbuilding: Superstitions.” Online article. The Written Vixen. October 07, 2019. [https://writtenvixen.com/2019/10/07/worldbuilding-superstitions/]

[3] Volume 4, Episode 8: “A Much Needed Talk.”

#deconstruction #worldbuilding #writing #superstitions #i hope you guys haven't gotten tired of sweary claptrap just yet

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mangoisms · 1 year

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hi hello it’s dc anon (again) <3 what u said about miyuki sort of being like damian kinda made me want to claw my eyes out because lord u are so right and u should be jailed for it.

and omg steph as the robin betta sounds like something she would definitely like, i also feel like the batkids would make fun of bruce for being the snail lmao i think u made the correct choice by making bruce the snail cuz it feels sooooo right (for some reason it reminded me of bruce and terry in batman beyond 😭😭) ohhhhh btw ur so right for counting duke as a robin i’m sick of people sidelining him and steph it sucks and is so stupid

now i just had a thought so please walk with me on this one…. miyuki and tee as damian and jon in supersons. that’s it. i’m pretty sure tee said in one chapter (maybe a few ??? i can’t remember correctly) that she has a wonderfam poster and i don’t think she’s mentioned supes but please just hear me out. the fact that tee feels like people think she’s naive and miyuki is (for a lack of better words) a bit of an ass sometimes is what i’m basing this on, what do we think ???

i can’t believe this got long AGAIN i’m so sorry for dumping all of this on u 😭😭😭

ps: i listened to the dgfh playlist and my god i’m so obsessed with real love song i can’t stop listening to it (not that i’m complaining tho). cant wait for the next update i’m so excited to see how things play out in the last chapter !!!

HAHAHAHAHA i try ^_^ honestly i hadn’t even realized that comparison until you mentioned miyuki might like damian the most out of all the robins and i think it makes a lot of sense!!!! they’re both… difficult difficult boys… LOLLLLL although i do think if we had canon teen miyuki and damian as he is now (like 14 or something right? in current canon?) damian would find him soooooo annoying LMFOWKKDKWKDJ and miyuki would be so unbearable. ah…. Them <3

under the cut once more since this also got long but i’ll say it again further down but i don’t mind the length of the asks at all!! i’m having a lot of fun with it so ^_^ don’t worry <333

ok good im glad! mostly im like… bruce is just so old now. like. if we wanted to be realistic with how the others are aging. he’s old as hell. ancient. decrepit one might say. so he’s the snail and robin is the betta. so there is that. and i must regretfully say i have not watched batman beyond but i am aware of it.. by proxy… like i know some of the details but. never seen it. so i trust u when u say that 🫡 and so glad to have another robin duke and robin steph truther among us!!!! so real!!!!

once again anon you are expanding my brain. so yes she did mention her wonderfam poster in hmm i believe. part 2. NO wait i’m lying. part 3. yes yes yes part 3. as for references to the supes… in previous parts no, however we do get one in the final part, part 6 ^_^ it isn’t about damian and jon and i’ll get to it in a sec but. this is food for thought.. i should also be so real and tell u i haven’t read supersons but i do have fairly secondhand knowledge about it and about damian and jon, both as friends and separately and. I LIKE IT. i genuinely… no yeah. Absolutely. especially as being part of those families like damian with bruce and the bats and jon and the other supers and lois… i’m fairly certain damian is as suspicious (or not SUSPICIOUS but like You know. like bruce is with clark sometimes) about kryptonians as bruce and i feel like That would be miyuki too. just like. Yeah. like he fits in with a gotham type scene and then tee with metropolis. and like you say. she would also be in that position of being seen as naive but i think that’s how clark is in general, just very hopeful and a big believer in humanity so EXACTLY i GET it i GET it… it would be such a fun dynamic for them too i think. Getting up to shenanigans….

actually ok i was gonna tell you about the reference in part 6 but it’s a tiny spoiler for dgfh and i don’t know how you feel about it. i mean. i might’ve already given it away BUT STILL i don’t want to assume so if you would like to wait until part 6 is released and i can tell you about it — and i’m sure you’ll know what i’m talking about when you read it — we can absolutely do that. just let me know hehe i don’t mind either way, just don’t want to spoil anything for you ^_^

(i mean it is here on my blog Somewhere BUT. you know. The Principle. plus it’s fairly buried bc i. Post a lot. KSJFNNE)

anyway anon don’t even worry about the length of the asks i seriously don’t mind!!! i’m having a lot of fun with this and talking with you, so it is absolutely not an issue!!!! and i’m always happy to hear any theories or connections you’re making with the story and dc stuff like genuinely this is perfect for me LOL like the combo of dc and daiya… just so fun!!!! so don’t worry <333

AH thank you so much i am so proud of that playlist. and UGHHH i KNOW real love song is probably my favorite on the entire thing, i think it’s soooo fitting for miyuki and tee. especially that um. the bridge. this part

bc it’s like. tee plays it on the station. but it’s kind of a mirror of miyuki. sort of. idk if that makes sense but either way it’s just SO good anyway thank you thank you <3333

#dc anon 🔎#<- that’s for you! i’ll go through the asks you’ve sent and add it on just to make things easier to keep track of ^_^#also the magnifying glass cause. dc. detective comics. get it. KSJFNENFBE no but i was looking through my emojis for a while trying to find #something fitting for dc LOLLLLL so hopefully that suffices. unless you have an emoji you like in particular. if so lmk <3 #inbox #anonymous

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burning-bubble-tea · 2 years

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Talking to my cousin and I’m like holy shit this really is what some people don’t know about queerness.

They’re really nice but like he just doesn’t know stuff and it’s like yeah you need to hear this from somewhere I’ll do it.

“Are we going to tell children about trans people?”

Yes because gender is confusing and so is life in general, we can help them figure things out and also avoid having kids be picked on for not conforming to arbitrary gender roles by showing how there’s no one correct way to perform gender.

“What about trans healthcare?”

No child is getting surgery. Puberty blockers were made originally for people going through puberty too early. Why can’t trans kids have access to it? Hormone therapy exists for cis people, why can’t it for trans people?

“But being gay isn’t evolutionary viable?”

Well many animals have shown homosexual tendencies, penguins for example will form bonded pairs to raise chicks that have lost their first parents. The world won’t only consist of gay people and social darwinism is not science. Survival of the fittest creates things that work, not the best organism. That’s why ecosystems are fragile. Therefore we cannot use that idea to create a better society because what’s actually happening is destroying a delicate ecosystem of social structures.

“But it’s scientific for xx to be women and xy to be male”

The labelled terms for sex is a social construct. Sociologists have thought this for years. Gender roles based off of sex is also a social construct and differs across the world, anthropologists have thought this for years. Also intersex people exist, sex is on a spectrum just like gender. We can change the social construct of gender by changing “woman” to person with two X chromosomes and “man” to person with xy chromosomes. I don’t know if we will but if enough people agreed on it, over time it would be changed. There are biological differences between people with xx and xy chromosomes but we don’t need to essentialize all the time.

These questions sound harmful or hurtful but my cousin was ignorant, not hateful. People need to learn these things and I’m privileged enough to have these conversations without it triggering painful emotions for me. I’m not advocating that all marginalized people become educators for ignorant people but also, sometimes the “Google is free” response just sends people down the wrong path.

Also free speech protects you from getting arrested by the government, not from social networks. When universities have hateful people spreading harmful ideologies, people are going to get upset. You can have them on to spread their opinions but you can’t do that while claiming to be an accepting person because you’re actively bringing people who want a group of people gone/reformed. Queer people don’t want everyone to be queer if they don’t want to, they just want the freedom of people to explore their gender and sexuality. Homophobes and transphobes want queer people eradicated through violence or silence.

I don’t care if we take steps back, queer knowledge will prevail through the generations because people will continue to love and change.

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realtylong · 2 years

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Ffmpegx final cut pro

FFMPEGX FINAL CUT PRO INSTALL

FFMPEGX FINAL CUT PRO PORTABLE

FFMPEGX FINAL CUT PRO PC

FFMPEGX FINAL CUT PRO WINDOWS

For example, they both ship decoders for DV, various RLE flavors, and raw video with their operating systems. Don't use any of these, preferably ever.īoth companies also have their own implementations of standard codecs. Apple has 8BPS, Animation, Sorenson 3, and a few others I can't remember. MS has Video 1 (MSVC), MS-MPEG4v2-3, WMV7-9, and VC1. MS and Apple have both released proprietary codecs. Is it just MS pushing a particular format, or is it MS and Apple both? I know its hard to imagine DV not spanning across platforms however, that is certainly the case.

FFMPEGX FINAL CUT PRO WINDOWS

Nevertheless, I imagine if windows can play a video "straight out of the box" it will be able to edit it with any app that is installed thus I have made that my basis or goal. I have no idea if most editing apps are quicktime based. Well, I have tried to make a point of my problem involving editing but I may have been unclear, besides which, most attempts have not played correctly in any event, so that may have tended me to not specify enough. And I imagine that as long as MS is pushing their own formats, it won't ever exist. If you're looking for one format to rule them all, it just doesn't exist.

FFMPEGX FINAL CUT PRO PORTABLE

Regardless, a machine with an editing app on it would be a far cry from "straight out of the box" and I can't imagine one that doesn't come with support for the DV codec in an avi as daishi suggested.Īlso, are all these people bringing in portable HDs as well? How exactly are they getting this DV footage (or God forbid uncompressed) back home?

FFMPEGX FINAL CUT PRO PC

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't most (certainly not all, but most) PC editing apps QT based anyway, and therefore already have QT? I haven't used a PC for video in awhile so that may have changed. I think most of the original advice assumed you were just trying to play the files on each platform, not edit.

FFMPEGX FINAL CUT PRO INSTALL

Most people would say "just install quicktime" or other sidesteps, I've gotten to the point where now I just want to find something as generic as possible for myself. As I said before most people would say "just install quicktime" or other sidesteps, but that always seemed to me to be avoiding the issue. I've talked to a number of people since I exhausted general google searches and I never have gotten much of an answer. I have a number of other duties I have to take care of and I really don't have time to teach each person what a codec is, what to install, and all the minutia.īeing naive I thought there was going to be a very simple, very common format I could tell everyone to use, and write instructions for, a cross-platform format. No harm there, but a very healthy portion of these people, despite wanting to edit video, do not have the same general knowledge base I have to figure out what codecs needs be installed and so on. More often than not these students also have adobe premiere or some such program on their windows computer at home and would prefere to edit there. and they want to put some film into a digital format. However, a number of students frequently come in to use the machine because they don't have a vcr or av switch etc. For my own part, using various codecs on various os's isn't a big deal. care to explain your situation? Sure, I work in a university general lab doing various odd jobs one of which is managing an iMac used for audio/video editing. I don't understand a situation where one would need to be editing-capable, but yet limited to what os has. Just find some dv vfw codec and install on windows machine. Bidaum, yes, os's don't pack a lot of when it comes to video, so you'll probably have to back up on your original request.

#Ffmpegx final cut pro

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jonathankatwhatever · 2 years

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This is difficult work. I remember it as being one of the most stressful conceptions because of what hangs on it. I remember the process as: looked at CM100, looked at CM10, which is necessary because that’s the count, looked at the square of that side because that’s how the side constructs, and that gets to root10, and then it was intuition that Pi would relate, so we subtracted, and then squared that because this bit of the side also has its own square, same as the whole side does, and that number looked like it might be divisible by CM64, which made sense to do because CM100 defines CM64, and then playing with the count by adding 0’s until another number appeared, and that looked like the gravitational constant. I thought of this for a long while as a method to determine Pi, but it really isn’t: it’s the gap between Pi and root10, and Pi exists on its own. This process doesn’t need to be exact to Pi in all its depth. It just needs to fill the gap.

Not totally buying that last part above, but I’ll go with it for now.

I played with meanings while walking. Example, what if the square were a 1? Then it would be just that inversion. That led to the old thought that we were dealing with CM64 as 1, so that we were making a square of 1. Now this connects, literally this second, to say that we thus remove the 1 which constructs the 10 (out of SBE3), and that this 1 takes the form of an enlarged 1 in the form of CM64 (times the exponent hand or 10^5), which contracts to and expands out of 1 in the form of CM64, plus the extension of that CM64 to attach to the next smallest dimension through CM2.8, with that times the negative exponential 2SBE2 times. So, it’s 1 times 1 in different forms.

I remember spending many hours trying to figure out why the extension of 1 to the next dimensional level. But of course now it makes sense because we are dealing with changing dimensional levels, and within CM10 is the literal attachment of that 10th grid square, which adds dimension, which attaches not only ‘flat’ across the count but into that count. Finally makes sense. I’m amazed we got all this stuff correct based on what I now see are group operations, meaning we did this all by connecting existence states that worked together without the process of working together being defined. It was like picking out landmarks through the fog. Treacherous.

So, the idea now is that we take out the 1 which constructs the CM10 but in a form which translates that 1 into CM terms, and particularly into CM64 since that is the fundamental Thing. It is the fundamental over CM36 because the other contexts fit in it. That is, CM64 is the IC of CM16, which is LC, so it combines the two included contexts above MC, which of course it also includes. CM36 contains IC but not LC without at least one more step.

That dimensional structure makes much more sense now that we have Dimensional Reduction.

So, the form of that 1 which is removed is the inversion relationship of 6.4M Things versus extended 64 to the negative exponential 2SBE2. I wish I could find the words to make me happy. It’s like all the knowledge put into a design, all the work put into a product, but it isn’t because I have a phone. Unless that’s the point: I have a phone, and that phone is constructed within a CM10 side so that it is defined as the Pi portion, meaning that which relates to the phone and thus which relates to the physical phone, and all that goes into the phone isn’t visible but it’s connected to the phone in the CM10 relationship. I love this, but does it make sense that it is constructed within the CM10? Well, CM10 is SBE3+1 or to be more complete (1+(SBE3)+1), because that indicates the either End attachment. So, that says this process takes that which attaches to an object but which is separate from that object, meaning it sits outside the boundary but ambiguously. And that leaves the object, like perhaps an actual object and its CR. So that makes Pi more like the SBE3, which is needed if we’re ‘removing’ the +1, as long as the forms match.

I keep forgetting that if you count Pi as a side, that doesn’t mean we don’t count Pi in other ways. It’s just a representation enabled within the Dimensional Reduction structure. And that highlights another point, which is that CM64 restricts or constrains: that 6.4M Things is not all that many. But it also a lot, and the more you can rearrange and multiply, the bigger that gets. And one of the beauties of both fCM and SBE in general is that it explains connection over dimensional distance. I am still amazed at how that idea expanded my conception of primes and of groups.

That means we have the abstract case pretty well worked out. And why does this inversion of negative exponential 2SBE2 become an attractive force? The math is that it shrinks toward an abstract point.

BTW, I never, ever thought of my hair as maroon but it was reddish brown, just not crimson brown. I try not to read anything into the song titles, but that popped in my head. It’s a word with a lot of meanings and thus a lot of affinities. I’m trying to get at affinities. I’m seeing that 2SBE2 as the place of shared affinity, the place where identification is inside, within, and this within whatever is Between, which is distance when you are using actual measurements. It’s like saying a person like you has a strong gravitational force: the disappearing point of affinity identifies within, which binds, which explains a whole lot.

I honestly have had great doubts that I could ever find a way into this concept. And it came from a song title. Now if I can find a way to get my knee to bend more.

This attaches at affinities. That is, there are uses and processes and existences related to the a form, like the physical image of a color, and then they are affinities, some obvious and some obscure. And I presume some measure of communication, simply because I perceive it but also because that is how this has worked so productively, so I can see this affinity meaning and how it fits with similar affinity meanings. All of which indicates you were there. Not sure how that would work on your side.

This is marvelous. Very difficult ideas to uncover. Exhausted.

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writingwithcolor · 3 years

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Hi! I've got a fantasy world in the making, and have a question about how to do the cultures etc. In at least one answer in the past, it was mentioned that you'd prefer fantasy cultures to not be based too much on the ones from our world; in another, though, it was said that instead of just using characters with Native American phenotype the writer should also take a look at the relevant culture. I'm aware that of course different mods may have different opinions, but... [1/2]

I’d still like to ask what the better way to go about this would be? Right now I’m trying not to base any culture too much on real life cultures. In the area the story starts in, the people are phenotypically what in our world would be Latinista, and one of the MCs is a Black girl who came to that country with her dad when she was little. Would it be better if I researched a fitting Latin American and a fitting African culture and based the fantasy cultures off of that? [2/2]

When to Code In Detail and when to Broadstrokes A Culture

It depends on the type of racism faced by various groups.

Some groups have faced a bunch of appropriation under the guise of “this is who we are, exactly, this is how X is” and it’s all wrong, so those groups are going to skew having a preference to looser coding and not trying to xerox real culture into fantasy

Other groups have faced a bunch of appropriation under the guise of “this is our ideas around what we think these groups are and we’re so not specific we’ve made up our own thing and called it real”, and those groups tend to favour close culture following.

In general, the wisest way to go about it is to recognize that what you’re creating in fantasy isn’t going to be the exact culture, but it should be recognizable to members who grew up in the culture as that culture. This means getting basic food, social rules, holidays, and customs correct.

The “social rules” thing can get tricky, because everyone has different definitions of it, but so long as you remember to do people instead of caricatures, you’re okay.

Personally, I’d start researching as if you’re going to closely code in order to break down your own assumptions for how cultures work, and loosen up the coding from there as you get more comfortable and your knowledge base deepens. By that point in time, you should have an idea what type of representation will be most appreciated by a group.

I will say, though, I still stand by that looks are a very weak source of coding and if you’re relying exclusively upon them your coding will likely miss the mark because that’s just painting different skin tones on white people—hence my suggestion to look into other cultural markers instead of just looks.

~Mod Lesya

“Perfect is the Enemy of the Good” is a good quote for this situation in my view. I think what can make writers (many of us who are already sensitive to criticism and the opinions of others) increasingly anxious is being judged, disliked, or heaven forbid, thought of as a bad person (!!). At the risk of providing armchair therapy I am not qualified to offer, I think it’s better to be realistic about one’s limits, skills and do the best that one can. Lesya’s advice provides a useful roadmap for this part.

However, the rest is the confidence to sit back and say “This is the best I could do, and those who think they can do better are welcome to tell me how.” And, when they do, listen.

Marika.

#coding #worldbuilding #racism #creator responsibility #racial coding #fantasy coding #Native American #indigenous #writing advice #asks

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satansaidmyturnintheh3llscape · 2 years

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Everything Right/Wrong with Ninjago “Rise of the Serpentine” E5: Can of Worms

I really wish we got to see more of Lloyd and the ninja prior to the Green Ninja reveal :(. Also, this contains a reference that only a small fraction of people will likely understand fully, but I couldn’t stop myself. DISCLAIMERS: Show owned by LEGO. This is not a professional review/critique - it’s primarily intended for comedy.

Comment/reblog and follow for more! Read below the cut!

- Theme ✅

- Lloyd can whistle, and regularly whistles his way around the Bounty. I don’t know why this is a win, but it is ✅

- At first this was gonna be a sin for having the audacity to name a video game something as stupid and obvious as, “citar legend,” but now it’s a win for my phone for repeatedly correcting it to “cig@r legend” every time I tried to type it out ✅

- Never forget that in a matter of what must’ve been hours, Lloyd managed to not only beat Kai at “his game,” but managed to top his own high score like 4 times ✅

- “…later bro” ✅

- Why does Jay do nothing and just let the sparring bot attack him? Couldn’t he just Spinjitzu his way out of this or something? ❌

- Also, what did Lloyd do to the sparring bot? Either he genuinely has knowledge of how to tinker with it and purposefully made it go haywire, or he just beat it a couple times with a wrench and hoped it would attack Jay anyway. Either option is worth a win ✅

- At first I thought he was waving, but based on his hand placements, I think Lloyd is saluting the ninja as he walks away from them?? ✅

- I don’t know who the ninja are yelling at right now, but they’re not even looking at each other ❌

- “How am I supposed to strike fear in this? It’s pink!” Zane finally learned about gender roles. Is this character development, or character regression? ❌

- I love that before Wu opens the door you can see Lloyd’s silhouette just standing there waiting… menacingly ✅

- “I got first dibs on-“ Cole threatens to beat an 8 year old for adding spice to his soup ❌

- “Why can’t you teach us to paralyze a man with one finger? Or find out if a man is lying by the twitch of his nose?” “Because not all lessons are about fighting!” Maybe not, but Jay’s ideas sound a h*ll of a lot more useful considering what they do everyday ❌

- “And I misplaced my lesson book.” Wu loses his lesson book and then suddenly forgets everything he’s ever known about this ancient craft he’s been practicing for literal centuries ❌

- How sound-proofed are those doors that they completely block out Lloyd’s voice when Cole closes them?? ❌

- “… live with us, but my sister??” Kai wants his baby sister to live alone in a blacksmith shop just because she isn’t a ninja ❌

- “But those tombs could be anywhere!” Shame we don’t have someone here who literally helped to imprison the serpentine in the first place, isn’t it? ❌

- The tombs are BARELY in line with that symbol. If the writers wanted to make this make sense, they easily could’ve just gone with a less complicated symbol. I really don’t know what the point of this was ❌

- “Light as a feather, pinky” ✅

- Btw, Glacier fans, how many times have you rewatched this scene?

- I was gonna add a sin for the Mailman because why was he delivering mail to the Constrictai tomb, but at this point I’m just gonna say he’s omnipotent or something and move on.

- “You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that” It didn’t? The frog was standing there the whole time, Fire Cracker ❌

- “No, I’m the real jay!” Call me crazy, but this was actually really good set up for Kai’s venomari-induced vision to be a million Jays attacking him and him struggling to figure out which one was the real one. But sure, elves and gingerbread people work too, I guess

- “I’ve never fought little people before!” You’ve fought Lloyd, isn’t that close enough?

- Cool save but what was Nya’s dart supposed to do? If it was a tranquilizer it wasn’t very effective ❌

- Detail of Samurai X wearing Nya’s bracelet ✅

- But also, how do none of the ninja notice that they’re wearing Nya’s bracelet?? ❌

- We have dr*nk Adora, sick Luz, Marky Wu, AND thawed-out Sprig, but stoned Kai will always be the OG ✅

- Jay spills his drink all over the table and makes no effort to clean it up ❌

- “It’s a can of worms I don’t wanna see open.” Line exists solely for the purpose of claiming that the title of the episode makes sense… which it doesn’t, but the writers were short on time and literally couldn’t think of anything else so it’s what we’re stuck with ❌

- “Don’t worry, it’ll ware off soon.” The little wink Jay does at the end>>>>>✅

- Also, plasma shippers, how many times have you rewatched this scene?

- Kai screaming in this clip will never not be hilarious ✅

- Why does Pythor have such a hard time uniting the tribes in these next few episodes? I know they were supposedly at war, but it couldn’t have been that bad of one if there were casual friendships between them like Skales and the Fangpyre ❌

- “Friends, enemies, and enemies who pretend to be friends” Pythor definitely has a better public speaking grade than I do ✅

- “That’s a lot of snakes…” Actually, that’s a frighteningly low amount of snakes considering these tribes are supposed to make up an entire race of people ❌

- So do the serpentine bond over r@cist jokes or…?

- ^ “What’s going on? Why am I losing them?!” I don’t know, Pythor, but maybe you should ask the brightly colored ninja hanging from ropes in midair where everyone can and should see them what they think. They look like they could shed some light on the situation ❌

- The serpentine were somehow harder to defeat and escape from when we were just dealing with one tribe at a time ❌

- Jay dangling off the bike ✅

- In Tournament of Elements, you can actually see that Chen has Zane’s pink suit, which implies that Lloyd sold it or something and just found a new one here ✅

- How did Lloyd manage to rig the fridge to do this???? Whether you want to admit it or not, kid Lloyd had a braincell that everyone likes to ignore ✅

- The episode moral was supposed to be that rumors are destructive, but it actually features the heroes weaponizing them against their enemies. So, always use destructive means to achieve your goals because they’ll justify each other eventually, kids! ✅

Sentence: Lloyd’s hidden braincell

#ninjago sins/wins #ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago lloyd #ninjago kai #ninjago jay #ninjago memes #ninjago nya #ninjago zane #ninjago cole #ninjago fandom #ninjago shitpost #lloyd garmadon #ninjago wu #ninjago pythor #kid lloyd

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fantastic-nonsense · 2 years

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Hi, so I don't want to dismiss all the work that you've put in, especially because clearly this comes from a place of passion. But I don't understand your reasoning for writing a comprehensive, and frankly a bit nitpicky, guide of canon verse fanon. I understand your frustration, I've experienced it as well, especially when something you know that is fundamentally wrong is prevalent. However, I don't understand what your canon bible attempts to accomplish. You say the word 'wrong' like people are doing a fundamentally bad act and can be made 'right' but it's fundamentally and inarguably harmless. Is this for new fans, who either will get demoralized or intimidated and either they will be driven away or will ignore you; is this for people who read the comics and want to refresher; or is it born out of frustration and gatekeeping and meant for your small circle out of a way to express your frustration with the current Era and fandom? You can do whatever you want and I have no right to tell you to stop when you're not hurting anybody, but I think that "I'm just educating people so they can be correct!", is a pretty shitty thing to dump in the tags with an insinuation that everyone is having fun wrong and you're here to make sure that everyone has fun the right way.

I didn't read past your third sentence because this is an awfully long and angry-sounding ask to send to someone whose post was just "hey I'm going to make some posts about fanon vs. canon in a fandom extremely notorious for not engaging with the source material, please send me any additional things you'd like me address" but if you want the explanation:

I was correcting some fanon misconceptions on Twitter (specifically regarding nicknames and bad interpretations of canon events) and people asked me to make a thread about it. I thought people on Tumblr could benefit from having the same information I was planning to post to Twitter, especially since I can expand on that information here in a way I can't on a character-constrained platform. It's not that deep. I write meta and address this kind of stuff all the time; this is just a slightly more targeted and dedicated effort to do something I'm already doing.

As I once stated on a completely different post: When fans who engage with the source material on literally any level interact with fanon-based material, we are often unable to recognize the characters or events depicted…because they’re not the characters that actually exist or the events that actually took place, they’re just fanon’s weird idealized, dumbed-down, twisted, or demonized conception of those characters and events. And that’s extraordinarily frustrating for people who actually engage with canon, and of course we want to correct that.

Being told “your headcanon or understanding of this event is verifiably and canonically wrong” isn’t some personal attack against you, and it shouldn't be seen as such. It’s not people trying to kill your fun or enjoyment of a character. It’s not an attempt to chase you out of the fandom. It’s an attempt to correct (sometimes extremely widespread) misperceptions of characters or events that have NO basis in canon, inform you that your joke or post or fanfic just…isn’t actually funny or meaningful when it’s built on extremely basic and fundamental misperception of a character/event, and invite you to actually engage with the source material.

Fanon is pervasive in this fandom to the point where a lot of people either forget what's canon or they never get an accurate understanding of canon in the first place, and it can and does have sometimes an impact on how those characters are then treated in comics moving forward (see: Dick Grayson's characterization in Grayson, for example). It's also meaningful to other, less knowledgable fans when those misunderstandings are corrected by people who know what they're talking about! This, for example, was one of the responses I got to even just listing some of the things I wanted to cover and providing a basic explanation for one of them:

So frankly: I don't care what you think about my project. You can ignore me, block me, whatever. It's going to provide a lot of helpful information in a few easily accessible locations to a lot of people who otherwise wouldn't know said information. And if someone like me (who actually DOES read comics and DOES know the difference between canon and fanon) doesn't do it, no one ever will. That's more than enough justification for me to do it, especially if it pre-emptively answers questions people might otherwise be afraid to ask for fear of being dogpiled on.

#asks #dc comics #batfam #long post #dc fanwank

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duckprintspress · 3 years

Text

Advice for Writing Trans Male Characters

Hi everyone, and welcome to our second guest post! We approached a trans man, and fellow writer, to put together a list of suggestions for cis people who want to write trans male characters! He has chosen to remain anonymous. Always remember, there is no one trans experience, and no one trans person’s knowledge will reflect the range of ways that trans people live. Our post author writes from his perspective, based on his knowledge and research, and much of this is relatively specific to the modern United States. Always use multiple sources when writing a character with an identity or identities that you don’t share!

So, you want to write a trans male character but you're not a trans man yourself. Good! We need more trans male characters out there in the world. There are a few things to consider, however. This is not a perfect list (I would never claim to be perfect), but here are some thoughts from a trans man about writing people like me.

Trans men are men. They talk like men, think like men, and walk like men, except where socialization as women has forced otherwise. By this I mean that descriptions should not include things like “he walked delicately, like a woman”. However he walks, it's like a man, because he’s a man. Other characters should not note that he “thinks like a woman” or that he “acts like a woman.” If you talk about a trans man transitioning and you mention that he is working on ways to masculinize his speech patterns or walking, that's fine, but make sure it's done from his perspective, e.g. “Michael tried to lower his voice, attempting to sound more like his father.” Do not use “Michael tried to lower his voice, not wanting to sound like a woman.” It's his voice and he sounds like a man. Also, many woman have deeper registers and many men have higher registers, and there's honestly not that much difference between a woman who speaks in a low alto and a man who speaks in a high tenor. Avoid gendering voices, mannerisms, and other things. A good rule of thumb is that if it's a concept, idea, or an inanimate or non-sentient thing, it is physically and/or emotionally incapable of having a gender and you should not assign one to it.

1. A trans man who has decided that all he needs to do is come out to be a man is still a man, with a man's body and male genitals, because he says he's a man. Even if he is not out, he is a man. He can be uncomfortable with his body, or with how others perceive his body, but it should not be described in terms of “womanly” aspects.

EX: David's breasts made him uncomfortable, reminding him that others looked at him differently than how he would have liked.

2. 72% of trans men do not ever want full gender reassignment surgery, and this doesn’t make them “less of a man.” The surgeries are expensive, invasive, and don’t always result in a fully functional genital apparatus. Also, there are a lot of them. A trans man, to have a full semi-working penis (one that will not be useful for sex but will at least be useful for urination), is looking at at least three surgeries: to remove the labia, to 'bulk up' the clitoris, and to move the urethra. There are also surgeries to remove the cervix and/or the uterus, to create a scrotum, and to add a pump inside the scrotum attached to a surgical implant in the penis to assist with arousal. Even if a man has all these surgeries, the penis he gets loses most of its sensitivity and won’t become physically aroused (as in, achieve erection) without medical intervention. He may also need electrolysis to remove pubic hair. Ultimately, many trans men opt not to deal with it. Many still want top surgery, or a hysterectomy, or both, and often testosterone is used to help deepen their voice and change their body shape (but, again, gendering a trans man's voice by suggesting it's “feminine” because he's not on testosterone or because his voice hasn't dropped yet is not a great idea). It depends on the type and amount of dysphoria a person experiences, versus their financial and mental ability to deal with the different choices. Some trans men are happy with no hormones and only top surgery. Others want or need everything. There is no “correct” way to be trans.

3. Unless your story revolves around their transition (which, as a cis person, maybe it's best you don't do, honestly), there’s no reason to go into detail about your trans male character's surgeries. If it’s not plot relevant, it's probably not necessary.

4. If you’re writing porn, make sure to always use male pronouns for him, even if he has chosen not to go through surgery. If he has gone through surgery, what he has will be indistinguishable from a cis male penis except that he may need viagra or a surgical pump.

5. Reactions to testosterone are different for every trans man. Some men never have their voices drop, never grow a beard, and/or never bulk up and get all muscle-y. Some men are on testosterone for two weeks and have a Gandalf beard with a voice low enough to sing bass. It just depends, mostly on genetics. If your character's father is a super hairy mountain man who sings bass in his lumberjack quartet, then your character is more likely to end up similar. If your character's father is basically an elf, then he's likely to be similar to that. Also, for a number of reasons, a trans man may choose not to or may be incapable of taking testosterone. Most doctors won’t prescribe it if the man wants to carry his own children in the future, for example.

6. Keep in mind that the order in which testosterone produces effects on a man’s body isn’t predictable, so don't worry too hard about 'getting it right.' Even trans men can't predict what they'll look like after being on testosterone for a while.

7. Also, a note: If your character is transmasculine and nonbinary, and taking testosterone, it's likely they will be on a lower dose than a trans man. That's not always true, but testosterone can be given at a few different doses, depending on how drastic a change a person wants and how quickly they want that change to occur. There’s still no guarantee: a trans man may never be able to grow a beard on a full dose, while a transmasculine nonbinary person might be on a very low dose and have a beard within the first month. But, generally, lower doses are meant to bring out smaller changes over a longer period of time, while higher doses are meant to bring out larger changes over a shorter period of time.

8. A non-fluid trans man is going to consider himself a man at all times, and always use he/him pronouns for himself, whether or not everyone else does. If you're writing a trans man point-of-view piece where he's not out or where he's not fully accepted, make sure he or the narrator always uses the right pronouns when others don't. That helps remind your audience that he's not the person other people think he is.

EX: Daniel was frustrated. His grandmother insisted on calling him “Sarah” no matter how many times he corrected her.

9. Menstruation is a difficult topic for a lot of trans men. Some men lose their ability to menstruate when they take testosterone, while others continue to menstruate. If they retain their uterus, however, the possibility of a menstrual cycle is always there. If/when menstruation happens for a trans man, it's often a time of major dysphoria. A trans man may have a lot of issues surrounding menstruation. Having a cervix also means yearly Pap smears, which can also be uncomfortable or dysphoria-inducing. Dysphoria can also happen during ovulation, when a person is most fertile. The body during this time is “getting ready for a baby” and the changes can be very triggering.

10. Testosterone may stop menstruation, but it doesn't necessarily stop pregnancy. Also, some trans men will go off their testosterone in order to carry their own child. During their pregnancy, it is important that they are still referred to as men. A trans man will generally prefer to be called “father” even if he carried the child, but some may prefer the term “mother.” If a cis person wishes to write a pregnant trans character, it would be better to err on the side of caution and use “father.” A trans man who has gone through top surgery will not likely be able to nurse his own children, but a man who has chosen to use a binder instead will be able to (probably - some people don’t/can’t lactate for other reasons). Whether or not he chooses to will be up to him.

11. Gender Dysphoria is the medical diagnosis given to trans people who want to do any form of medical transitioning. Being transgender is not in and of itself a diagnosis. A person can be transgender and choose never to transition medically. Dysphoria is generally most clearly understood as a form of discomfort in the body you possess. Sometimes a person experiencing dysphoria is uncomfortable with their body no matter what. He doesn't like his breasts, for example, unless they are bound, no matter what his setting is, who is looking at him, etc. His dysphoria takes the form of nausea at the mere sight of them. Alternatively, some people only experience dysphoria relating to how others see them. For example, a man may not mind his breasts when he's alone, and he doesn't usually bind, but on a specific day while he wasn't binding someone glance at his breasts before calling him 'ma'am' and now he can't uncross his arms in case someone else looks his way. For some people dysphoria comes and goes, and they have good days and bad days. Also, images can be dysphoria-inducing. For example, seeing a pregnant person might remind a man that he has a uterus, and make him extremely uncomfortable all day. Other people may go several days, or weeks or months, without experiencing dysphoria, but when it hits it affects them for a long time or very severely. Or a person might experience dysphoria every day, as kind of a low-level mental fog they can't shake.

12. Gender Euphoria is as valid as Gender Dysphoria. Gender Euphoria is the idea that a person might be content in the body given to them, but will never be truly happy unless they make a change. These people can live their whole lives as the gender assigned to them at birth without severe mental issues or physical problems, but it's like living a life without color. They can do it, but if there's a way to get color back, why wouldn't they?

13. Changing names is complicated and takes time. It also differs in every state/country, and may need to be re-done when a trans man moves. In some states, all they need to change their name legally is a court order. In other areas, a trans man needs to have lived using their new name for a period of time, or have doctor’s notes and authorizations. Once the character has changed their name legally through the courts, they need to change their driver's license, banking information, insurance, work papers, social security information, passport, birth certificate, and any other documentation bearing their name. It can take anywhere from a month to a year or more, and is expensive, sometimes prohibitively so. It's okay to have a trans male character who goes by “Mark” but whose parents or grandparents refer to as “Melissa.” The important thing is to make sure narratively you are confirming that those people are wrong.

EX: “Melissa! It's nice to see you come to visit!” Mark's mom said. Mark cringed, hating the sound of his deadname, but he hadn't yet been able to convince his mother to use the right one.

14. Do not portray a character binding for more than eight hours or with unsafe binders in a positive light. Just don’t. Binding, even with professional/high-end binders, is not safe. It's a stopgap - safer than not binding at all for some people whose dysphoria is really bad. It constricts the lungs and can break ribs if not done properly. It can permanently alter a person's chest cage if done for an extensive period of time. It's a necessary evil for people who are waiting to get their surgery done, in order to keep them alive to have that surgery. It's not a permanent cure-all. Binding also can cause dysphoria. A person who doesn't have dysphoria surrounding his chest can develop it after wearing a binder. So, have your character bind safely, or discuss the issues surrounding unsafe binding. (And yes, this applies even in a fantasy setting or world where the technology may be different. A story is a story, but the impact it could have on a real trans man is potentially dangerous, so write with consideration, and if you do introduce a magical or technological solution to this, maintain awareness of the reality.)

15. Transitioning without an in-person support group is one of the most common factors in transitioning regret. Give your character someone to go to the doctor with them, someone to hold their hand when they get scared, someone to talk them through moments when they're unsure. No one who goes under the knife is always completely 100% sure all the time. They need a community. Surgery and hormones are scary, even if a trans man knows he wants them, and trying to go it alone can spell disaster.

16. Given that a trans man will consider himself a man, it can be challenging to make it clear to a reader that he’s trans. If he's the main/POV character, you can write him dealing with some dysphoria. For example, if you decide your character binds, mention that his breasts are bothering him particularly badly one day. Have him adjust his binder. Describe putting a binder on. That kind of thing. If he's a minor character, it can be more challenging, but you can still have him do things like adjust a binder. You could also mention surgical scars, if a character takes off their shirt. Another thing you can do is just have the main character remember a time “before Mark went by Mark” (for example). Another way is to have the character mention some way in which they are fighting for trans rights, and acknowledge that the issue is personal to them. Try not to use the deadname unless he’s facing an actual microaggression by another character. The narrative or narrator character should never deadname the character.

17. FTM is not an accepted term anymore, as it implies that a person was one thing and changed. Generally speaking, if a trans man is not genderfluid, then he was never female or a woman. Likewise, the phrase “born in the wrong body” is not acceptable for use by cis people. The only real use it has is to explain dysphoria by transgender characters to cisgender characters who aren't inclined to listen or try to understand. The accepted term is AFAB, or Assigned Female At Birth. Keep in mind that terms and labels change with time, so do your research. For example, if you’re writing a historical piece, different terms may be more appropriate, and if you’re writing a modern current-day piece, understand that in ten or twenty years the terminology you use will likely have grown outdated.

18. The proper way to write the term is always “trans man” and never “transman”. Trans is an adjective describing a type of man, just like you might say an Asian man or a muscled man or a gay man. This comes back to the idea that a trans man is always a man, first and foremost.

19. An easy pitfall to avoid if your trans male character's setting is modern or modernesque is: Don't make the story all about their oppression. We are aware of the many ways in which the modern world is trying to oppress and harm the trans community, but trans men can still be happy and interesting people. They can have dysphoria without being depressed. They aren’t necessarily the “down in the dumps” character. Also, trans men have a long history of being activists, and are often erased in history, so don't be afraid to make your trans men an out-and-loud activist. Yes, terrible things have happened and continue to happen to trans men, and any trans man who has done any research into trans history will know about individuals like Brandon Teena. Trans men know the dangers they face. Knowing that bad things can and are happening doesn't mean a trans man can't find his own joy in life, despite things not being perfect.

20. Keep in mind when writing in historical settings that trans men have existed for as long as people have existed. Many trans men were able to go through life completely “undetected” until they died and those around them conducted culturally-common burial practices. It’s not unreasonable to have a trans man in Regency England, Yuan China, or Roman times. If you're writing about non-European-centric history, many cultures acknowledged those who didn’t present the way their AGAB (assigned gender at birth) would suggest, and do your research. Also, keep intersectionality in mind, and tread especially carefully when writing a trans man from a culture and period other than your own. This post is mostly applicable to trans men in the modern era, and especially in the United States. The trans male experience will be different in other places in the world, for people of different ages and of different religions and ethnicities and races, so the more traits your trans man has that are outside your own experience as a cis writer, the more you should consider if it’s wise for you write the story you have in mind, or if it might not be better to allow in-group members to tell those stories. And never forget - trans men can and are all things - all races, all religions, abled and disabled, etc. People have nuanced identities and multiple identifiers and trans is always only one of many.

21. In fantastical or science fiction settings, please always ask yourself if oppression of trans people or bigotry against them is even needed. Maybe a society doesn't assign gender at birth, but waits until a child is old enough to tell the society where they belong. Maybe a society reveres those who are under the transgender umbrella. Maybe children are considered genderless until they reach puberty. You have a million and one options; why limit yourself to what modern predominantly Western white Christian society says? If you do make a society that doesn't look anything like the modern world, for example they assign gender at age five, think about how that would affect society as a whole. What kind of pronouns would be used for children under five? Are young children genderless, or are they seen as genderfluid? What about people who age past five and are still genderless or genderfluid? What are the naming conventions for children?

22. There are mixed feelings regarding how a science fiction or fantasy setting should treat transitioning. Should it be an easy fix, with magic or advance science doing it instantly or nearly so? Or should it be difficult, reflecting the modern situation where the process often years before a person can feel “finished?” That's up to you. Trans people themselves are split on this, so there’s no pleasing everyone. Do your best, and whichever way you choose, make sure to tag it accurately or, for original fiction, be clear up front what approaches you’ve chosen, so people can choose not to read something that may make them uncomfortable at best or trigger them and profoundly harm them at worst.

Ultimately, your trans man is your character and you can do with him as you wish. Write responsibly, and do your research, and if you can, get a sensitivity reader or a beta who is a trans man.

So, go, diversify those stories, write the things, and present good representation! Happy writing!

#duck prints press #original content #writing advice #guest blogger #trans characters #trans men

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tiramisiyu · 3 years

Video

youtube

Tears of Themis: Xia Yan/Luke 【妄夜之魇】 Looming Nightmare - Date Translation

Translation Masterlist | Xia Yan Masterlist | Unsubbed Video

Transcript below cut:

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Part 1

Forest

In the morning, a group of villagers walked slowly through the forest’s rocks and mud.

Nearby, a young man dressed as a knight noticed them.

Luke: Please wait!

The young man pushed aside the dense branches, rushing over to the villagers.

Villager Captain: You are…?

Luke: My apologies for troubling you all. I’m Luke Pearce, a knight.

As he spoke, he balled up his left hand and placed it before his chest, displaying a standard gesture of courtesy to the villagers.

Villager Captain: So you’re a knight. Greetings, is anything the matter?

Luke: I’d like to ask you all if there is anyone who knows where the evil dragon is?

Villager A: E-evil dragon?!

When they heard “evil dragon”, a momentary fear displayed on all the villagers’ faces.

The whispers among them gradually grew louder, and the originally calm group gradually began to lose control.

Villager A: W-why are you searching for the evil dragon…

Villager B: Why are you asking about that beast’s whereabouts?! Are you trying to get it to come over here again?!

Villager B: O-our village, it…

Villager Captain: Calm down.

The young captain placed a hand on the shoulder of the middle-aged man to calm him down temporarily.

Villager Captain: We were impolite. Sir Knight, none of us have malicious intentions. It’s just…

Luke: Were… you all also attacked by the dragon?

Villager Captain: Indeed…

The young man sighed.

Villager Captain: We originally lived in a nearby village. Three days ago, our village was attacked by that dragon.

Villager Captain: The flames it breathes, and its massive wings that kick up gales when they beat…

Villager Captain: That’s how our houses and fields were thoroughly annihilated.

Villager Captain: Many villagers that couldn’t escape were left forever in those ruins.

Villager Captain: But that dragon didn’t stop there. It… even carried off lots of innocent people.

Villager Captain: That’s what happened to my wife and that grandma’s only daughter.

Villager Captain: We don’t even know if they’re still alive.

The young man spoke until his voice faded. The hands that hung on his sides were tightly clenched, like he was trying to control his emotions.

Villager Captain: Like us, lots and lots of villages and cities have been destroyed by it in the past several days.

Villager Captain: Those attacked by it can only flee in search of a temporary safe place.

Villager Captain: We…

Luke: … I’m sorry for making you recall such horrible things.

The young knight lowered his head in apology.

Luke: On my journey, I’ve also heard lots about its terrible actions.

Luke: When I saw you all from far away, I thought you were all normal passersby. I didn’t think…

Villager Captain: It’s alright. We do have to learn to face this eventually.

Villager Captain: Although, Sir Knight, why are you looking for that dragon?

Luke: Because…

A flash of desolation appeared on the knight’s face.

Luke: Because I’m looking for someone who is incredibly important to me.

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[Flashback]

Fortune-Telling Location

The fortune-teller fiddled playfully with the crystal ball in her hands. The lights floating in the air moved as she did.

With a sliver of curiosity on her features, she lifted her gaze and looked over her visitor, then placed her hands piously in front of her chest.

Fortune-teller: Esteemed Sir Knight, may I ask why you are here?

Luke: …

The knight’s rigid body leaned forward slightly, an unconcealable urgency and distress in his eyes.

Luke: I want to find someone. She’s vanished, and I have no idea where she is.

Fortune-teller: Oh? Find someone? Who might it be?

Luke: Someone… that grew up with me since childhood.

Fortune-teller: Someone that grew up with you?

Luke: Yes.

He released a deep sigh.

Luke: It’s been eight years since the start of the war.

Luke: The day I left for battle, I promised her that I would return home safely and live with her forever, never to leave again.

Luke: But after the war ended and I returned to the village, all that welcomed me was an empty house.

Luke: I asked everyone around about where she went, but they all said that she suddenly vanished one day.

Luke: Only after did I find out that everyone had thought that I’d died in battle.

Luke: She…

The knight grasped tight on the longsword in his hands. The ruby on the hilt flashed faintly in the darkness.

The fortune-teller leaned against the table, holding her chin with her hand.

Fortune-teller: Have you ever thought that she just couldn’t keep waiting anymore, or that she might have moved elsewhere because she thought you were dead?

Luke: She wouldn’t. We’ve lived together for so many years. I know best about what sort of person she is.

Luke: I know that even if I made her sad or if everyone said I was dead…

Luke: As long as she hasn’t seen my corpse, she won’t give up, and she’ll keep waiting for me…

Luke: … Something must have happened for her to choose to leave without a farewell.

Luke: So, I want to find her. I want to know what exactly happened.

The young knight’s voice gradually weakened, until it was nearly inaudible.

The fortune-teller tittered quietly.

Fortune-teller: I understand. Then, please wait a moment—

She placed her hand on the crystal ball. As the lights and shadows drifted, an image of a dragon occupying the plains gradually appeared.

Luke: This is…?

Fortune-teller: Do you know of the legend of the evil dragon?

Luke: Evil dragon?

Fortune-teller: Yes. This dragon runs amok over the continent, scattering destruction and annihilation everywhere…

Fortune-teller: Its evil reputation is now common knowledge among all people.

Luke: But what does that have to do with her?

Fortune-teller: I am unsure of the exact connection it has to her, but based on the image in the crystal ball…

Fortune-teller: You just need to kill the dragon and obtain the treasure chest it protects to discover the way to find her.

Luke: …

Luke: Are you sure?

Fortune-teller: Of course. My divinations have never been wrong. If not, Sir Knight…

The fortune-teller unconsciously knocked a few times on the crystal ball, and a clear sound reverberated in the room.

Fortune-teller: Then you wouldn’t have come to find me, correct?

Luke: … They say that you are the greatest fortune-teller on the continent, and that there’s nothing you don’t know.

Fortune-teller: Which is even more reason for you to believe me, no?

Luke: …

The knight nodded ponderously.

Luke: I understand. Where is the dragon right now?

Fortune-teller: That’s for you to find out.

Fortune-teller: However, there is something that you must think over first.

Fortune-teller: You are a brave and martially skilled knight, but the path ahead may be much more dangerous than you imagine.

Fortune-teller: Even if so, will you still proceed?

Luke: Yes, I must.

Fortune-teller: Even if the price it requires is your everything?

[Flashback end]

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Luke: So I can only do as the fortune-teller instructed, travelling as I search for clues on the dragon.

Villager Captain: It seems like the person you’re looking for… must have been captured by the dragon too.

When he finished listening to the knight’s story, the captain gave a quick conclusion.

Villager Captain: The young lady you’re looking for isn’t the only one. In the past while, that dragon has already captured many good girls.

Villager Captain: Many noble ladies and wives in the city weren’t even spared.

Luke: Then… has anyone ever returned among those who were captured?

Villager B: No – no one has ever seen them again after they were taken.

Villager B: Whether the dragon has hurt them, whether they’re still alive, or where they’re kept… no one knows anything.

Luke: No one knows anything, huh…

Luke: If no one knows, that means there’s still hope, right?

The knight suddenly lifted his head, looking firmly at the villagers.

Part 2

Forest

In the forest, the young knight faced the villagers, his gaze firm.

Luke: If no one knows, that means there’s still hope, right?

Villager B: This…

Looking at the villagers’ somewhat hesitant expressions, the knight smiled slightly.

Luke: I understand your concerns, but to me, as long as there is still one thread of opportunity, I will definitely not give up.

Luke: So…

Luke: Please, do any of you know anything at all about the dragon?

Villager Captain: …

The villagers looked at each other. The young captain tilted his head as if trying to recall something.

Villager Captain: I don’t know much about the dragon, but…

Villager Captain: Three days ago, when I was fleeing the village, I think I saw that dragon flying towards the highest mountain peak on the northeast of this forest.

Luke: The peaks in the northeast…

The knight looked towards the direction that the villager captain was pointing towards. He could vaguely see the shape of a mountain peak there.

Villager Captain: Yes, but that mountain is farther from here than it looks.

Villager Captain: Plus, there’s also a path full of thorns at the end of this forest that normal people can’t get through at all.

Villager Captain: Currently, not many people have gone there, so I can’t be sure if the dragon is actually there.

Luke: Is that so… but it’s worth a try.

Villager B: Uh… I’ve also heard a little about the dragon.

The formerly irritable middle-aged man, possibly being moved by the words earlier, hesitated for a moment before he spoke.

Villager B: That dragon probably does live on that mountain peak.

Luke: Are you sure?

Villager B: Yes. Two weeks ago, an artisan from the city went with his brothers there.

Villager B: But several days later, aside from a young man, no one in that group returned.

Villager B: That young man said that they were attacked by that beast on the mountain…

Villager B: But sadly, his wounds were too grave, and he passed away a few days later.

Villager B: After that, no matter how much money the city nobles offered, no one else dared to go put their lives on their line.

Villager B: We also…

The middle-aged man sighed.

Villager B: We’ve… given up already.

Luke: …I understand. Thank you all for giving me so much information.

Luke: It’s not that early anymore, and I need to head for that mountain, so I’ll be heading off.

Villager B: Sir Knight, are you really going to look for that dragon?

Villager B: With how massive and brutish that dragon is, it’ll kill you!

Villager B: You don’t know how that young man who returned…

Luke: Thank you for your concerns, but this is a promise I made with her. No matter how difficult the path forward is…

The young knight looked straight at the group in front of him, his voice firm and resolute.

He spoke each word emphatically, answering the question earlier, yet seeming more like he was telling himself.

Luke: No matter how difficult the path forward is, even if everyone has given up, I will not stop moving forward.

Villager B: …

Villager Captain: …

The villagers fell silent for a moment.

A long moment after, the young captain spoke.

Villager Captain: Sir Knight, since you’ve made your decision to go, we have no reason to continue trying to persuade you.

Villager Captain: The road ahead will be difficult, and defeating the dragon is sure to be no easy task…

Villager Captain: All we can do is to pray that you find the one you love quickly and return safely.

Luke: Thank you, everyone.

The knight made a sincere gesture of courtesy again towards the villagers, then turned around and walked into the depths of the forest.

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Plains

After a long trek, the young knight bypassed that rumoured thorny block and arrived at the wilds outside the forest.

Luke: …

Though it was called the wilds, all the plants had long been burned into crisps. Black dust had settled densely over the rocks.

A massive mountain stood at the edge of his range of vision. A dense black fog lingered over the peak, quiet and strange.

At the foot of the mountain, many volcanoes and short rock mounds created continuous undulations, extending to the horizon.

Luke: …

He lifted his head and looked towards the faraway sky. The red light of the pre-sunset sun was harshly dazzling.

Luke: A precursor to the solar eclipse, huh…

Luke: Maybe it really is as the person before said…

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

Villager B: Sir Knight, before passing, that person who returned said…

Villager B: On the day of a solar eclipse, it seems like the dragon’s strength will weaken.

Luke: Weaken?

Villager B: Yes, that person kept repeating this before he passed, so I remember it very clearly.

Villager B: If you really must get near it, maybe you can choose this day.

Luke: … Understood.

[Flashback]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Luke: …

Luke: Based on the appearance of the sun, the eclipse will only start tomorrow…

Luke: The volcanoes around look pretty unstable right now. Now is definitely not the best time to act.

Luke: I’ll build a temporary residence near the forest and wait for a chance.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Temporary Residence

In the wooden hut, the knight was in the middle of pre-battle preparations.

Luke: …

He cleaned his sword in the firelight. When his gaze brushed over the ruby on the hilt, he fell into a momentary trance.

Luke: …

Luke: Soon, I’ll be able to see you again.

Luke: Right?

Luke: …

In the empty room, the only response he received was the crackling of burning firewood.

The young knight lowered his head.

The emotions that he had continuously restrained quietly trickled out where no one could hear, under the comfort of the moonlight.

Luke: I’m sorry… I couldn’t contact you even once for so long…

Luke: You must have been so worried during then…

Luke: …

Luke: I wonder how you’re doing right now, and if you’ve encountered any danger…

Luke: Were you scared, facing that dragon alone? Were you injured?

Luke: Don’t be scared, I’ll save you very soon.

The wind blew past soundlessly. In the quiet hut, the knight’s voice became clearer and clearer.

It seemed as if a burning flame had ignited in his eyes. The moonlight shone in, casting light over the entirety of the room.

Luke: We promised that no matter what happened, you wouldn’t leave, and we’d always be together…

Luke: I won’t let you bear everything on your own anymore.

Luke: It’ll be tomorrow… wait for me.

He smiled, his fingertips brushing over his own reflection in the ruby.

Luke: Goodnight.

The knight placed his sword by his side and sank into a shallow sleep.

Just like all the nights in the past many years.

Part 3

Garrison Camp

Troop Leader: Hey, Luke, you returned with perfect timing.

Troop Leader: Just finished bringing over the new delivery of rations. I brought you the letter from the one at your home.

When he saw the person who was placing the letter on his bed, the knight shook his head helplessly.

Luke: Leader, we’re still in the troops right now. Even if you want to address her…

Troop Leader: Alright, alright. The letter that your wife sent, does that work?

Luke: We haven’t gotten married yet…

Troop Leader: Hahahahaha—

Troop Leader: Hey, honestly though, Miss MC really does treat you well.

Troop Leader: I have no idea how she managed to get that many rations and letters sent over here.

Troop Leader: If I remember right, she’s just a commoner, right? The type without even a fief. Tsk tsk tsk, she really is good.

As he teased him, the leader came up to the side of the bed, jokingly bumping against the young knight’s shoulder.

Troop Leader: Luke, I feel like she’s even more proactive than you. Bring out your knight’s spirit already!

Troop Leader: Though we can’t contact the outside world, I’m cheering you on inside, yeah?

Luke: Thanks, leader.

Luke: Although there’s something you’ve gotten wrong. Though I can’t send her replies…

He layered the letters together, placing them in the closest spot to his heart in his armour.

Luke: This is my answer to her. My heart is always with her.

Luke: The day the war ends, I will return to her side, safe and sound.

Luke: When that time comes, I won’t leave her ever again.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Forest

Luke: …

When he saw the multiple letters in front of him, the young knight sunk into his memories.

To prepare for the nearing battle, he came to the riverside at dawn to change the medicines on the wounds he received in the war.

Luke: Back then, I thought that I would be able to reunite with you after the war ended.

Luke: We’d then be able to be like thousands of other normal people, living out our lives healthily and safely.

Luke: But I never thought…

He couldn’t help grasping tight on the letter papers.

Luke: Did you know that during those eight years, I kept thinking about you over and over, speaking on my own, just like this?

Luke: I remember every single thing you wrote to me about.

Luke: You said that the neighbouring auntie’s puppy stepped all over the rose garden at the doorway again.

Luke: You said that the honey that a friend gave you was very sweet, and you wanted to see the bee yard too, but you didn’t go because you knew I wouldn’t agree.

Luke: And so much more… I’ve remembered every single thing perfectly.

Luke: I… really… miss you.

The knight couldn’t help covering his face with his hand, as certain crystalline things fell slowly between his fingers.

A few minutes later, he took a deep breath, then put down his hand.

Luke: This is bad, I lost control of my emotions for a moment.

Luke: I wasn’t even that sad last night, but maybe it’s because I saw you in my dreams again, so I…

Luke: Now isn’t the time to be sentimental. I’ve got to bolster myself to face the upcoming battle.

The sunlight shone into the forest, past the gaps between the swaying leaves, falling dappled on the knight’s armour.

Far away, the sun displayed a light that was different from normal.

Luke: Is it coming…

He quickly put on his clothes and grasped onto his sword again.

Luke: Wait for me.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Plains

Because he had already crossed over the forest once, the knight arrived at the plains much faster than before.

Clouds smothered the originally-blue skies. The roars of the dragon resounded nonstop at the horizon, and the air was heavy enough to make breathing difficult.

Luke: …

Suddenly, the roars of the dragon became unusually clear. A massive black shadow rushed down from the mountain peak, gradually nearing the centre of the plains.

Luke: !!!

Luke: This is my chance!

The knight immediately broke into a sprint towards the black shadow.

Evil Dragon: Roar—

The moment he arrived at the centre of the plains, the dragon was landing with two young villagers in its claws.

The two people tossed on the round tumbled a few times. Tears covered their faces, and their hands were tightly clasped.

Luke: !!!

Luke: Run!

The knight threw a wooden gun towards the dragon, then yanked out the dagger at his waist and threw it backhandedly on the ground near the forest.

He loaded an arrow as he sprinted towards the dragon.

Luke: Take that dagger and get out through the forest now!

Luke: I’ve left markers on the path. Follow those!

Female Villager: O-okay… tha-thank you!

The pitiful villagers tremblingly picked up the dagger and ran towards the forest as they supported each other.

They passed by the young man, kicking up sand and stone. The two sides of the battlefield changed in a flash.

Luke: …

The knight did not look back to the already faraway villagers. He calmly set his hands on the bow.

The dragon roared furiously at him, spitting a ball of fire.

Evil Dragon: Roar—

Luke: …

The knight stepped swiftly off the rocks in front of him, resolutely loosing an arrow towards the dragon, sidestepping the close call of the fire.

Luke: This won’t do. It’s too fast.

Luke: I won’t be able to dodge at all with speeds like that…

Evil Dragon: Roar—

Luke: !!!

Without giving the knight room to think, the dragon launched its second attack.

It looked again at the person in front of it and spat out a large amount of fire. The flickering firelight lit up the entire desolate plains.

The knight dodged the attack. The winds surged, the glint of the blade shone, and the surroundings continuously heated up.

Luke: …

Luke: This is how strong it is when it’s weakened?

Luke: If this keeps going, I’ll lose all my footholds.

Luke: What do I do…

His brow wrinkled tightly, looking at the dragon that had built up its power and was waiting to attack again. His hands held his hilt tight—

Evil Dragon: Roar—

The dragon opened its mouth wide, flying towards the young man.

Rocks were sent flying from the intense movements of the two opponents. The knight planted his feet on the shards of rock, both of his hands gripping his longsword.

Evil Dragon: Roar—

Luke: Want to kill me? Keep dreaming!

As if he couldn’t hear the dragon’s roars at all, he was completely focused on looking for a chance to attack.

Luke: If it’s the instant before it breathes fire… as long as I grab that chance…

Luke: If I can strike your vitals…

Luke: I’ll still have a chance!

Evil Dragon: Roar—

The dragon threw back its head, releasing a long roar towards the skies.

Luke: Now!

The knight lifted the sword and sprinted up to the dragon, slashing down on the dragon’s neck with all his strength.

Evil Dragon: Roar—

Blood sprayed, and the massive creature struggled, writhing, and finally spread its wings, flying off towards the heights.

Luke: Don’t even think about escaping!

The young man ran up, and three arrows cut through the air.

Howling winds blew as the eclipse fully set in. On the faraway peaks, the contours of a black castle could suddenly be seen.

Evil Dragon: Roar—

The dragon dodged the arrows, roaring in pain, then escaped in flight towards the faraway castle.

Luke: It all ends here.

The young knight discarded his longbow and gripped at his sword, planning to chase after the dragon.

However, right then, a pattern of lights shone from the astrolabe he was carrying.

He froze for a moment and thought back on what the fortune-teller had told him before—

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

Fortune-Telling Location

Fortune-Teller: Wait.

Fortune-Teller: Keep this with you.

The fortune-teller called out to the young man who was on the verge of leaving and handed a metal astrolabe to him.

Luke: This is…?

Fortune-Teller: If the astrolabe starts flashing, it’s a warning from me to stop fighting immediately.

Luke: … I am well aware of when I should stop.

Fortune-Teller: Sir Knight, you do indeed have lots of fighting experience.

Fortune-Teller: But I am the only one who can help you, so trust me, alright?

Luke: …

[Flashback end]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Luke: …

Luke: Ouch…

The knight frowned in pain, as if he had finally come to his senses from the tense atmosphere, and looked over himself out of habit.

Luke: !!!

The dark armour had long been stained in blood, and some of the parts that were exposed were covered in wounds of all sizes.

Luke: I was… injured this badly?

Luke: Sure enough… that dragon’s strength…

He ultimately decided to stop.

Part 4

Temporary Residence

The knight closed the door to the residence.

He leaned on the wall, like an injured little animal.

Luke: How could this be…

Luke: Is the difference in strength between me and that dragon that big?

Luke: How am I going to save her at this point… I…

The astrolabe beside him shone again. Then, after a flash of white light at the doorway, the fortune-teller pushed open the door.

Luke: It’s you?

Fortune-Teller: Sir Knight, I hope you have been well since our last meeting.

The fortune-teller looked over the person in front of her, her eyes squinting slightly.

Fortune-Teller: Looks like you listened to what I told you. Well done.

Luke: …

Fortune-Teller: This expression… were you not willing to give up?

Luke: None of your business.

Fortune-Teller: None of my business… haha, do you remember what I said back then?

Luke: …

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

Fortune-Teller: You are a brave and martially skilled knight, but the path ahead may be much more dangerous than you imagine.

Fortune-Teller: Even if so, will you still proceed?

Luke: Yes, I must.

Fortune-Teller: Even if the price it requires is your everything?

[Flashback end]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Luke: …

Fortune-Teller: Has reality now changed your mind?

Luke: No. No matter when, I will not change my mind.

Fortune-Teller: Will not change? Then… what can you do?

Fortune-Teller: You must have realized the natural difference in strength between you and the dragon from battling.

Fortune-Teller: It looked like you won the battle, but what are the results?

Fortune-Teller: Even while it was weakened during the solar eclipse, the only effective attack you landed was that single slash.

Fortune-Teller: While you…

The fortune-teller looked at the young knight’s right arm, mottled with blood and some burn marks.

Fortune-Teller: You’re covered in wounds already. How much longer can you hold on for?

Luke: …

Luke: I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t give up. I must get that treasure chest and find her.

Luke: I don’t want to think about anything else.

Fortune-Teller: … Is it worth it?

The fortune-teller went silent for a moment, then asked this question suddenly.

Luke: It is.

Luke: I promised her that I’d return to her, that I’d safely tell her that everything had ended, that we would never be apart from then on.

Luke: I think about her every day, and I look forward to seeing her again every day. I’ve reread each of the letters she sent too many times to count.

Luke: She is my everything. I won’t just give up like this.

Fortune-Teller: … So you plan to seek out that dragon again?

Luke: Yes, and I don’t only plan to find it…

Luke: As you said, I will defeat and kill it, no matter what the price is that I must pay.

Fortune-Teller: … I understand.

Fortune-Teller: Then let me tell you one more thing.

Luke: ???

Fortune-Teller: Do you know why that dragon always flies towards that castle?

Luke: Do you mean that the treasure chest is…

Fortune-Teller: Yes. It’s because the box that it values the most is in the castle…

Fortune-Teller: When it is attacked, it will naturally return there.

Fortune-Teller: In ten days, the eclipse will end, and the sky will return to normal.

Fortune-Teller: The skies before daybreak are always the darkest…

Fortune-Teller: In ten days, when the sky is lightening, the dragon’s power will be at its weakest.

Fortune-Teller: It will also lose the ability to breathe fire.

Fortune-Teller: If you must go, go on that day.

Luke: !!!

Luke: Thank you.

Fortune-Teller: No need for thanks, but Sir Knight, let me give you one last warning.

Fortune-Teller: The path you have chosen is full of the unknown. I hope you will not regret this in the future.

Luke: I am sure that I won’t.

Fortune-Teller: That would be best.

The fortune-teller looked at the knight, smiled strangely, then left.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

After the knight cleaned his wounds, he finally had some time to rest.

Like usual, he stood his sword by his side. When he looked over the ruby on the hilt, he suddenly stopped.

Luke: This ruby… you gave it to me.

He gently stroked it, his warm breath leaving a mist on the gem with his movements.

Luke: I remember on the day I set out, you stood at the very front of those who were sending off the troops, a total mess of tears.

Luke: I was the one who was leaving, but you were even more agitated than me.

Luke: You kept reminding me to take care of myself, to not force myself.

Luke: Then I held your face with a smile, telling you that it wasn’t like I wouldn’t return.

Luke: …

The knight suddenly turned away.

Only when he was able to smile again did he turn his head back, as if everything before had just been an illusion.

Luke: Before I left, you took off a ruby from the mirror you always used and embedded it on my sword.

Luke: You said that a highly skilled person gave you that mirror, and it had magical power.

Luke: Especially these rubies, which represent inextinguishable fire and burning vitality.

Luke: We made a promise together, and then you watched me mount the horse, but I never looked back.

Luke: I thought that I would be able to see you soon after the war ended.

Luke: But now that I think about it, I should have taken one more look at you back then.

A slight bitterness appeared on the young knight’s face, but it was soon replaced by his usual expression.

He laid down on the bed, looking at the fluid moonlight in the sky.

Luke: Did you know that there’s something that I didn’t tell you back then?

Luke: Rubies don’t only represent fervour and life. They also represent love.

Luke: I told myself that after the war, I would confess to you, and let this ruby bear witness to our love.

Luke: So, please wait a little more for me.

Luke: There are still ten days.

Luke: No matter what the price is, I will be the victor.

The knight mumbled as he slowly closed his eyes.

Outside the hut, a black mist rose, then vanished in the silence. The moment that the smoke dissipated, a woman’s quiet laugh seemed to sound from deep within.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Plains

Ten days later, as the fortune-teller said, the young knight made his way towards the old castle.

But he did not successfully reach his destination, because on the plains under the castle…

Evil Dragon: Roar—

Luke: …

Luke: Are you here to obstruct me?

Evil Dragon: Roar—

Luke: Looks like the fortune-teller was telling the truth. The treasure chest really is in the castle.

Luke: So it must also be true that you’re at your weakest today.

Evil Dragon: Roar—

As if in response to the knight’s words, the dragon snarled in fury. Its massive claws beat heavily on the ground, drawing up plumes of dust.

The knight retreated a few steps, held up his longsword, and stood in battle stance.

Evil Dragon: Roar—

Luke: …

Luke: You sure look enthusiastic.

Evil Dragon: Roar—

Luke: Perfect, then. Let’s have a fierce battle this time.

Luke: This is the last chance. I won’t let you escape again.

Evil Dragon: Roar—

Luke: …

At the edge of the sky, the black sun that had persisted for ten days started to “move”. The light of tiny stars shone through the air, casting light on the person and dragon.

The knight lifted his sword.

Luke: Let’s start.

Dust flew as the shining sword blade cut through. Both human and dragon soon were immersed in intensive battle.

Their battlegrounds shifted several times, from the plains to the mountain peak, finally arriving to the front of the castle’s door.

The eclipse was slowly retreating, and the dark sky was beginning to show its original hue.

Compared to last time, the battle this time lasted for a very, very long time.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Old Castle on the Peak

Luke: Urk…

The knight brandished his longsword, pushing himself to block the dragon’s attack.

The originally flat field had already been ruined to the point where it was difficult to stand on. Thunder boomed intermittently as dark clouds accumulated above.

Evil Dragon: Roar—

The massive dragon moved again.

Luke: Ow…

Luke: …

This time, the knight’s resistance started to become sluggish.

Scorching blood sprayed out. He lost his footing, falling brutally onto the ground.

Luke: Ugh…!

Luke: No… I can’t fall yet…

He stabbed the longsword into the ground with difficulty and stood staggeringly up again.

He looked at his enemy, his bloodied, dirtied face full of resolution.

Luke: Ha… what sort of battle is this? Just a bunch of mutual killing attempts…

Luke: But did you think I’d be scared? Stop kidding around.

Luke: You have no idea what sorts of emotions I put behind each slash.

Evil Dragon: Roar—

Luke: Although, you don’t need to know, because…

The knight suddenly brandished his sword and rushed at the massive dragon.

Evil Dragon: Roar—

For an instant, the heavens and earth shook. Dust and sand flew as the world was submerged in chaos.

Only the knight’s shouts cut through the air, transmitting into each and every crevice.

Luke: Even though – even though there’s no way you can hear this right now…

Luke: But, I’m sorry… I’m sorry!

Luke: I’m sorry for leaving you all alone for these eight years. I’m sorry for letting you face the dragon yourself after the eight years.

Evil Dragon: Roar—

Luke: Do you know how scared I was when I returned to the village, yet didn’t see you at all…

Luke: I was scared that I would never see you again. I was scared that I couldn’t save you…

Evil Dragon: Roar—

Luke: Let me see you again, alright?

Luke: Even one instant, one second is enough!

Bang--!

After an enormous sound of collision, the young man was knocked through the air onto the ground, sliding to a faraway cliff, to the very edge.

But this time, it seemed like he didn’t have the strength to stand again.

Luke: …

Luke: Does it… all end here…

Luke: But I… you…

Boom—

A downpour of rain suddenly started.

Part 5

A downpour suddenly started.

Rain struck against the ground audibly, falling on the young knight’s body, flowing towards where the blood and water had accumulated.

Evil Dragon: Roar—

Luke: Am I just… going to lose like this?

The knight couldn’t control his gasps.

Luke: But…

Luke: I still… can’t bear to give in.

Luke: I still haven’t found her… I still haven’t seen her… I …

His voice was full of an unrestrained frustration and helplessness.

He tried, or even forced, himself to keep his heavy eyelids open.

Luke: …

Silence suddenly descended.

It seemed like the rain had weakened, and a small sound was resounding through the air.

Luke: !!!

The knight suddenly opened his eyes wide.

Luke: Is that you?! Is that you, MC?!

He struggled, reaching out into the emptiness.

The black mist suddenly surged over from all directions, winding around the knight’s hand, as if in a gentle “embrace”.

The knight suddenly smiled.

Luke: Are you trying to comfort me?

Luke: Mhmm, I’m not scared. Whether they’re happy things or painful things…

Luke: I don’t care about any of that anymore.

He slowly stood his sword upright, staggeringly standing up.

Evil Dragon: Roar—

Luke: I will… keep going until the final moment…

Luke: MC, you are my strength, and I will fight for you until the end of my life.

Evil Dragon: …

The dragon’s movements suddenly stopped.

It looked at the human in front of it without moving in the slightest, and it seemed as if a light had flashed in its terrifying eyes.

Luke: …

Luke: Now!

The knight brandished his sword for the last time, stabbing it deeply into the heart of the dragon.

This time, the dragon did not struggle nor attack back. It remained in its spread-winged posture as it toppled with a boom.

The turbid blood flowed out from the wound, and soon, its breathing stopped completely.

Luke: H-has it ended?

The knight slowly walked up to the dragon’s corpse. After repeated confirmations, he released a sigh, as if he had been freed from a heavy burden.

Luke: Next… I just need to find the dragon’s treasure chest to find you. Wait for me.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Old Castle Interior

The knight pushed open the door to the castle.

Just as the fortune-teller said, there was a treasure chest placed in the centre of the large room.

Luke: …

He knelt with one knee to the ground, brushing off the dust on the chest.

The moment he opened the chest saw what was inside, he displayed a shocked expression.

Luke: This is…?

A mirror inlaid with ruby sat quietly on the top of the chest.

The knight reached out with both hands, carefully holding the item in front of him.

Luke: Isn’t this the one you usually use…

Luke: Ah!

Suddenly, the gem on the mirror flashed with a dazzling light.

As if induced, the ruby on the hilt of the longsword beside the knight started to shine too.

They shone together, blindingly bright.

Luke: …

Amidst the light, multiple images gradually appeared in the mirror, like a light carousel—

Luke: !!!

In that familiar village, the young woman suddenly lifted her head as she trimmed the plants, her scissors falling onto the ground.

Her face was full of shock and disbelief. Tears slid down her face, finally vanishing.

Luke: !!!

She then left the village on a journey. She walked to all the ends of the world, as if in search of something.

She traversed deserts and snowy mountains, wearing out pairs and pairs of shoes, and her originally fair skin gradually became rough.

But on her face, all there was, was day after day of ever-increasing defeat and pain.

Luke: No… I’m here, I’m still alive! I’m right here!

Finally, she arrived at this castle.

Seeming like she’d lost all hope, she collapsed on the found. Tears and blood fell, droplet after droplet, on the ruby of the mirror’s upper part.

Then, a light suddenly flashed, and the girl in the mirror vanished.

The black mist filled the mirror, and a vicious dragon flew out of the castle.

Luke: !!!

The knight’s entire body trembled.

He dropped the mirror and sprinted out the door, as if he had gone mad.

Luke: No… not possible… no way… it can’t be…

Luke: How could you have been the dragon?! No way, I couldn’t have killed you…

At some point, the storm had started to rage again.

The figure of the dragon had already vanished. What replaced it was a figure that the knight was as familiar with as could be.

Luke: No way… why…

Luke: Why!!!

He held the girl’s corpse in his arms, then howled in despair like a wild animal.

The girl’s body was as covered in wounds as the knight’s was.

The rain struck their bodies, rushing frigidly over each of their wounds, as if mocking them.

Luke: No, no way…

Luke: This isn’t real… this isn’t real…

Luke: MC--!

The knight held the girl tightly. His throat was already raw, and all the light had left his eyes.

Luke: Is that why you stopped right then? Did you recognize me?

Luke: Why didn’t you escape? Why did you wait for me to kill you?

Luke: Please open your eyes, alright, answer me!!

Luke: Why?! Why?!

Luke: Ah--!!!

The rain descended in torrents, finally trickling down to the ruby, which had lost all its shine.

Part 6

The storm raged, and the knight’s heartrending cries never once stopped.

The air distorted for an instant. Right after, the fortune-teller stepped out from nothing, walking up to the sobbing Luke.

Fortune-Teller: Pitiful Sir Knight, you still ended up at this point.

Luke: !!!

Luke: It’s you… it’s you!

Fortune-Teller: It is indeed me, Sir Knight, the one who pointed you down this path.

Luke: Pointed me down this path… right, you know everything!

Luke: Let me ask you, did you already know that she was the dragon?!

Fortune-Teller: Yes, I know everything.

The fortune-teller looked at the young man, her voice gentle and tantalizing.

Luke: Then why did you have me find it - have me kill her?!

Fortune-Teller: I had you kill her? That’s quite an unfair accusation.

Fortune-Teller: I am a mere fortune-teller. All I can see is an established truth.

Fortune-Teller: This is her and your fate – you two are destined for an ending of death.

Luke: !!!

Luke: No way! What fate, what ending – I don’t believe any of it! There must be a way to save her!

Luke: I’ll keep looking. I’ll keep looking. I will definitely find it. I will definitely find it!

The young man clutched at the corpse in his arms and forced himself to stand.

The ground was slippery. He fell one time after another, yet he stood again, one time after another.

Fortune-Teller: …

The fortune-teller stroked the crystal ball, looking at the girl who was gradually getting colder in the rain.

Fortune-Teller: There is a way that might be able to save her, but…

Luke: What is it!

The young man shouted hysterically, but his voice was already so hoarse that he was nearly incoherent.

The fortune-teller paused, then looked at him again, her lips curving slightly.

Fortune-Teller: Simple. Make a deal with the devil, using your life.

Luke: …Deal?

Fortune-Teller: Indeed. As long as you offer your heart, she will be able to live again.

Fortune-Teller: But she will lose all memories of you…

Fortune-Teller: Perhaps she will love someone else and live a happy life, or perhaps…

Luke: What do I do?

The knight cut her words short.

Luke: Can you bear witness to the contract?

Fortune-Teller: … Of course.

Luke: Tell me what I need to do. We start immediately.

Fortune-Teller: … Alright.

The knight’s resoluteness far exceeded the fortune-teller’s expectations. After a simple explanation of the ritual, he finished his preparations.

Fortune-Teller: Will you not say any last words to her?

The fortune-teller placed the crystal ball in front of her, looking towards the silent knight.

Luke: …

The knight lowered his head, looking at the girl in his arms.

Luke: I never would have thought that our last meeting would be like this…

Luke: But at least you can continue to live…

The corners of the knight’s mouth lifted with difficulty. He reached out, pushing aside a lock of hair aside on the girl’s face.

Like a deep, yet wordless, farewell.

Luke: There are some things that I didn’t have the time to say before, but it shouldn’t be too late to say them now…

Luke: I…

The knight closed his eyes.

He slowly lowered his head, solemnly and gently kissing the hair of the girl in his arms.

Luke: Goodbye, MC. I pray that your life from today onwards will be happy and joyful.

He looked at her face, looking as if she were in a deep slumber, and said this to her for the very first and very last time—

Luke: I love you.

Right after he spoke, he stabbed his sword into his chest.

Bright red blood covered the marks that had dried on the sword. Thunder boomed as rain fell in torrents.

His heartbeat’s sound gradually stopped.

Fortune-Teller: …

Fortune-Teller: Hahahaha, hahahahaha—

The fortune-teller suddenly burst into laughter.

A black mist gradually wrapped around her. Her body and clothes changed form, finally turning into the form of a witch.

Witch: Hahahaha, what fate, what ending, what deal with the devil? Utterly foolish, truly, ridiculously foolish!

Witch: Although… thank you both. I found this drama quite the satisfying watch!

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

MC: …

My consciousness gradually awakened.

MC: Luke! Don’t do anything stupid!

MC: She’s obviously doing this deliberately! Don’t get tricked by her!

I tried my best to call out his name, yet I anxiously noticed that I could not even make the slightest of sounds.

MC: Luke!

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Luke’s Home, Third Floor

*Tira’s note: The date itself said it was the second floor, but his living quarters (the background shown) are on the third floor, not the second.

MC: Luke!

I sprung awake from my dream.

And because of this tiny movement, Luke instinctively popped off the sofa, standing upright on the floor.

I lifted my head and looked hazily at Luke, and my consciousness gradually returned to reality.

MC: …

Luke: …

We looked wordlessly at each other for a few seconds, then couldn’t help laughing together.

Then, Luke gently sat back down beside me.

Luke: What happened? Did you have a nightmare?

MC: Mhmm…

As I gave an affirmative, I moved my body a little, realizing that my arms and legs had become a little numb. My chest also felt somewhat stuffy.

MC: (Huh, was I sleeping in a weird pose? I don’t think so…)

Just as I was thinking, Luke started to rotate his shoulders too.

Luke: Why are my arms this sore all of a sudden… I’m sure that I slept pretty well…

MC: …

Luke: Huh? What’s the matter?

MC: I figured it out…

Luke: What?

The only reason why our arms were so sore… probably was because Luke was holding me the whole time while we had an afternoon nap.

MC: (So that nightmare… probably also happened because of this…)

I felt both a little frustrated and amused, and seeing Luke’s dubious expression, I couldn’t help laughing aloud.

Luke: What’s the matter?

MC: Nothing, I just hadn’t woken up completely from my dream yet.

Luke: Alright, you’re fine now. I’m here with you.

Luke: If you’re still scared, then should I sing a song for our great lawyer?

MC: Sure!

I knew Luke was just teasing me, but I felt like either way, it would be pretty nice to listen to him sing for me again.

Luke: Then sit comfy first.

MC: Mhmm.

I shifted over a bit, and Luke sat down beside me, covering us up again with the blanket.

Then, he gently wrapped his arms around me.

Luke: Then, what does the great lawyer want to listen to? Twinkle Twinkle again?

MC: Yep!

I looked up at him, and then Luke started to tap my shoulder like a metronome as he began singing.

Luke: Twinkle, twinkle, little star.

Luke: How I wonder what you are…

MC: …

As Luke sang, my emotions gradually calmed down.

Amidst this relaxation, I couldn’t help thinking of the scene in that dream again.

MC: (A ten-day eclipse… man, the weird stuff I come up with.)

MC: (Did the earth stop spinning or did the sun just check out of work? So ridiculous…)

MC: (Plus, how could Luke be tricked by someone like that…)

MC: (Although…)

Though that was what I was thinking, I still knew…

Just like the knight in my dream, the love and protection Luke gave to me was always that silent, yet so etched into his very being.

But unlike the dream, we were now walking towards a happy future together.

I would hold his hand tightly, and I would never let go.

MC: …

The afternoon sunlight pervaded the room, and a slight breeze blew past. Everything was as great as always.

On the storage cabinet on the side, the mirror and sword model were stacked together. Under the sunlight, the rubies flashed faintly.

They looked somewhat familiar.

Phonecall

Hi! Good morning, are you up yet?

Ah… I bought a medieval-themed game that looks really interesting, so I wanted to ask if you wanted to play it together.

This game also has dual-player co-op mode. We can hit new game records together, just like in the past.

The game plot? Seems like a knight went on a quest to slay a dragon to find his missing lover.

I feel like this story’s pretty remarkable, and the animations done for the fights with the dragon in the middle were done really realistically…

Huh, what’s the matter? Why do you have such a pained expression on?

You don’t want to play this game… why? Does the plot make you feel uncomfortable?

Huh?! You had a nightmare with the same plot? And the main characters were you and me?! And we didn’t even get a good ending?!

Pfft… silly, it’s just a dream, don’t take it to be real.

Plus, doesn’t everyone always say that dreams and reality are the opposite?

You saw a bad ending, which means that we’ll have a good ending. So don’t be afraid, it’s all fine.

Hm… if you still don’t feel at ease, then how about we work together to beat this game?

I’ll prove to you that we’ll definitely reach the Happy Ending!

#Tears of Themis #tears of themis translations #xia yan #luke pearce #未定事件簿 #tot spoilers #tot luke #suffering whiplash and sugar #the xia yan fan experience

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rwprincess · 3 years

Text

Head Over Feet (Brian Johnson x Fem!Reader)

Masterlist

Word Count: 4.8k

Synopsis: What’s that sound? It’s another anachronistic Brian Johnson songfic! (Based on Alanis Morissette’s Head Over Feet) You’re one of Bender’s trash-punk friends and things change drastically when he brings the scrawny brain from detention with him to meet you all. Set up in snippets, your relationship develops with Brian, even if you weren’t really looking for a relationship.

CW: Teenage smoking (including reader), swearing, parental abuse (being being kicked out), sexism, angst and fluff

“This is Johnson,” Bender indicated the boy he brought along to your group’s spot under the bleachers.

“Brian, please.” The kid corrected. You eyed the gangly youth from top to bottom; in his sweater over a crisply-ironed collared shirt and khakis, he definitely didn’t fit in here with you all. You’d be called grungy punks at best. You didn’t think any of you even owned an iron and crisp definitely wasn’t your style. You blew out a puff of smoke, exhaling the nicotine from your lungs and shifted your gaze to Bender, wondering what he was at with this. He wasn’t the best guy, but pranking this preppy little nerd by bringing him down to your hangout? That seemed beneath him.

“You, uh, running some kinda charity here, Bender? We’re not exactly Make-A-Wish material, kid.” Scorch told the blonde dweeb and you snorted at the thought.

“Shut the fuck up,” was all Bender said in response. The rest of the twenty minutes of Brian Johnson standing there was of course, incredibly awkward and it was clear to everyone that he didn’t fit in. But that didn’t stop him from coming back a week later. And again a few days after that. And again and again until, well, that dork had grown on the lot of you. While he didn’t partake in cigarette smoking like most of you, he did take Bender up on his weed on several occasions and was actually really funny while high. He did weirdly spot-on impressions and had a sense of humor that none of your group had anticipated.

And, as much as you would vehemently deny it, you liked him when he was sober, too. He was incredibly smart and helpful and while his jokes were different without marijuana in his system, he could be amusing. That first awkward encounter was back in March, maybe April. But now you spent time with him without the convenience of school pulling you together. Now it was June and you sought to spend time with him, even without the group. Tonight, you were laying in a field not far from the high school, just the two of you. You liked to listen to him ramble on about the constellations and the myths about why they were named as they were. You remembered liking that as a kid, but you didn’t remember most of the stories. You knew you could ask him questions about the actual stars, too. Like, the science of it, and he would know. But you’d rather let him ramble and tackle one subject at a time. Even though he focused more on science and math, he was a pretty good storyteller, and right now that provided you with more of an escape than talking about the chemical composition of a star. When he finished his retelling of Ursa Minor’s story, however, he remained silent and didn’t start up a new piece of lore. After a moment, you looked at him to see what the hold up was, but you just caught his eye as his gaze was already fixed on you. Your heart started pounding in your chest because you knew what was coming.

“You know, we could go on an actual date some time.” Brian suggested, breaking the silence. You closed your eyes, almost wincing at the words. He was generally more subtle than this, but the same idea had been brought up before. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Brian. In general, you did, and in the honest depths of your soul, it was as more than a friend. But, every time it came down to this subject, you panicked. You had never been serious with anyone and the thought of dating was completely foreign to you. You had messed around with some guys before but you never had feelings for them. You didn’t know how to depend on another person, to have an actual relationship with them.

I had no choice but to hear you

You stated your case time and again

I thought about it

You sighed, your eyes still closed. You didn’t know what to tell him. Before, he always left it as more of a hint and it was easier to dodge. Now he was just coming out and saying it. Basically asking you out, so you would actually have to turn him down this time. The terrible thing was, you didn’t really want to. The conscious side of you wanted to agree and go out with him, on a proper date. But your subconscious kicked you into fight or flight mode and if you weren’t in the middle of a field, you might have picked flight and walked away. But that didn’t seem to be an option.

“Look, Johnson. It’s not that easy. Just...don’t waste your time on me.”

“I’m already wasting my time on you.” He pointed out, but when you took a peek at him, he didn’t seem upset about it. He was actually grinning about it. “We’re already wasting our time out here. Or at the library, or under the bleachers… So why not like, a movie theater or dinner, or my house?”

“Oh yeah, your mom would love having me around.” You joked, humorlessly. The smattering of times you had met Brian’s mother hadn’t gone swimmingly. You could read the derision in her voice and knew she did not approve of her good little baby hanging out with a ne’er-do-well like you.

“She’d come around. You’re different once someone actually gets to know you.” He meant it as a compliment, but you took it as your out.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You leapt up, indignantly and he just gaped at you like a fish out of water.

“I didn’t mean anything bad by it, I swear!” He put his hands up defensively as you looked down at him. “Forget it, I’m sorry.” You had victory, he dropped the subject and your friendship could last another night and you could try to pretend like he wasn’t right, that you two weren’t meant to be something more.

*~~~~*

You treat me like I'm a princess

I'm not used to liking that

You ask how my day was

For the most part, working at Bert’s auto shop felt worthwhile and valuable. Other days, it chewed you up and spit you out. It was hard being in such a masculine environment and not fitting into that type. Customers (mostly men, but even the women too) thought that you were less knowledgeable and handy than your cohorts. Bender’s teasing didn’t help that image, either.

Now you slid into the booth at Gino’s pizzeria utterly deflated and defeated. Of course, Brian took notice right away. “Rough day?” He inquired, pushing a menu towards you even though he knew you ordered the same thing every time.

“That’s not even the half of it. Why does Bender hafta be such a dick all the time?!” You asked, incredulously but sincerely, diving right into your problem.

“I don’t know. I think he thinks it’s part of his charm? Maybe it is. I mean, we’re still friends with him.” You nodded at his point, but clenched your fists just the same.

“I just wish he knew when to back off sometimes. Like, he never realizes he’s taking it too far and digging you further into a shithole.”

“What did he do this time?” Brian’s gaze on you was unbroken; it made you feel important, like your opinion, your story, was the only thing that mattered.

“So we got this old guy in the shop today. Beautiful car, so of course he was hesitant with me touching it.” You began and his eyebrows furrowed, already not liking the direction this was going. “And I’m trying to prove myself worthy to work on this car, even though I would just be doing an oil change, which isn’t like a big deal anyway, right? Simple stuff.” You looked to him to get acknowledgement to move forward.

“I mean, I guess. I don’t really know about oil changes or anything about cars. But I know you do.”

“Right, so Bender has to go and make a crack to the old guy about how they won’t let me near it and I’m just the secretary for the shop or whatever. Just a total dick move. But of course the guy believed him and laughed with him and sent me to go get him a cup of coffee? I mean, what the hell is that?”

“That’s not right. And you wear a mechanic’s uniform at work, why would he think--?”

“Because macho man Bender told him I was! He was more believable than me.” You sank back and put a hand up to brace your forehead as the waitress approached the table. You prepared to order your drink when she set down exactly what you would have ordered in front of you and walked away, promising to come back in a few minutes. You blinked at the cup as if it magically had appeared.

“I uh, figured you’d get the usual and you’d need it when you got here, so I ordered for you. I hope that’s okay.” Brian said and then looked away, suddenly embarrassed by the idea. Since he wasn’t looking at you anyway, you allowed your lips to twitch up into a smile threatening to break out on your face...but only for a moment.

“Yeah, whatever. So anyway, Bender…” you carried on, pretending nothing happened, but secretly cataloguing his gesture in your memory.

*~~~~*

The only thing worse than arguing with Brian or him pissing you off was him making you laugh. There were times that you would go home with sore sides and itchy eyes from the tears that formed while laughing so hard. Then you would always, always reflect on the hours you just spent together, feeling the warmth and butterflies tickle your insides and a nervous heat would prickle your skin as you thought about how happy Brian made you. He never pushed you to do anything; he liked you the way you were. Sure, he would drop hints here and there about how you should stop smoking or give you advice when you had a particularly bad argument with one of your friends, but overall, he just accepted you. And you knew how hard that was to find.

You had never been popular and when junior high rolled around, you accepted that you never would be. You found your own little group of outcasts who understood what it was like to be kicked down time and again, and now he had somehow joined that group too. You knew he understood how it felt. Even though he looked different and came from a very different social circle, he had been looked down upon by his peers all his life. You were guilty of judging him the same way when you first met him, but now you couldn’t imagine life without him. He was cut of the same cloth and you could see yourself in him, which is why you just clicked. And he was so kind and so patient with you. You tried to push him away dozens of times, to put up the barriers and the walls that worked so well for everyone that came before him; you couldn’t be hurt if you never got attached. Where most people gave up and only saw the cold, distant bitch you gave them, Brian always saw something more. He didn’t give up in breaking down those walls, and even accepted just being your friend. That made you love him even more.

Shit, wait. Did you just think about loving Brian? A crush is one thing. Having a buddy to fool around with is one thing. Being in love was quite another.

You've already won me over in spite of me

Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet

Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are

I couldn't help it

It's all your fault

*~~~~*

Mercedes Johnson was all about keeping up appearances, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t hear her arguing with Brian on the other side of the door, about you. Again. You had known from the second you met her that she didn’t like you. She was instantly worried about the influence you’d have on her son; it was a common reaction from parents based on the way you looked and the company you kept. You would think you’d be used to it by now.

However, it truthfully bothered you more because this was Brian’s mother. You were hoping that she would be different and see the person underneath like her son had, or at the very least, that she would eventually warm up to you. You had no luck with either.

“I’m not comfortable with having her over at the house right now.” You could hear her tell Brian.

“She’s my friend, ma. Of course she’s going to come over--”

“I’m aware of that but you know I wish she weren’t. I would prefer that you keep the company of other friends.” The formality of her sentences while she was still cruelly putting you both down made you cringe.

“You don’t know her because you won’t give her a chance. She’s not that different from my other friends.”

“You have friends in the Physics Club, from Knowledge Bowl, Honor Students. You don’t need the association with a hoodlum like that or John Bender and I don’t know why you keep insisting on bringing them into my home when I have repeatedly told you no. I don’t want them around your sister, or even you!”

“Fine. Then we’ll leave.” You heard the door swing open harshly and Brian was motioning for you to follow him out of the house.

“Brian Ralph Johnson!” You heard his mother cry after the two of you. Brian held open the front door for you and you looked at him cautiously before rushing out. You knew you weren’t wanted there, but you were worried that he wouldn’t come with you. You were even more worried that he would. “You are not leaving this house.” Mercedes put on the most intimidating tone you had witnessed her use.

“No, I am. We are. I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t bother coming back tonight if you walk out of this house!” She was now pink-faced and losing all of the reserved, polished look you had seen her have. She had never been so...uncomposed.

“Don’t worry. I won’t.” Brian said and grabbed you by the elbow as he escorted you down the driveway to your car. He immediately got into the passenger seat and as you sunk behind the steering wheel, you glanced at him.

“Brian, this is stupid. You don’t have to---you shouldn’t do this.” The whole situation reminded you of the many times you had been kicked out of your house. This was just another home you weren’t welcome in.

He clenched his jaw in response. “Let’s just go. I’ll figure it out later. Please, just drive.”

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole

You're so much braver than I gave you credit for

That's not lip service

“Your mom gave you a choice, you know. It’s not like she told you to get out. She actually told you not to leave.” You said as you both sat on the trunk of your car, looking out across the field that was slowly turning to a golden hue, both from the afternoon sun and the change into autumn. Neither of your houses were really an option to go to, so you just chose the empty field that you would look at stars in during the summer.

“It’s not like it was really a choice though, was it? I’m tired of her trying to control every part of my life. I need to start thinking for myself, doing things for myself. She needs to understand that I’m going to do what I want, and like who I want to like.” He looked at you meaningfully for a moment, but you looked away quickly. It was too heavy for you to process right now.

“That’s a big step. I’m really impressed with you for standing up for yourself.” You told him, and he gave you an appreciative, heart-stopping smile in return that caused your cheeks to flush. Your parents had shouted at you to leave so many times before, any time you were ‘inconvenient’ for them, that it was hard to relate to someone who chose not to stay. But you wanted to support him and you did feel proud of him today. You thought back to the most recent event in which you had been dismissed from your family, and how you had tried to take it out on Brian:

You slammed your locker and watched him almost jump out of his skin. “I don’t want to talk about this.” You growled at Brian.

“I understand that, but you need to. You can’t just--”

“Just what?”

“You can’t just act like nothing happened or run away from it...run away from here.” You had been disciplined at school yet again and your parents had had enough. You had a big fight with them the night prior and did not sleep in your own bed. The tiredness racked your body today and you were stiff from sleeping in your car. If it weren’t for the social aspect, you wouldn’t have bothered coming to school. But you quickly realized you weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone, and you were only making the situation worse.

“Like hell I can’t.” You stated, quickly turning to walk away.

“Y/N, don’t. Come on, talk to me. Tell me what happened. We can figure it out together.”

“There’s nothing to figure out, bucko. I’ll be fine. I’ll do this on my own. I’m used to that anyway.”

“But you don’t have to be alone, Y/N. That’s what I’m saying! That’s my whole point: I’m here for you!”

“I didn’t ask you to be, Brian.”

“No, because friends don’t have to ask.” His words scared you. Nobody had so adamantly offered to be a safety net to you before.

“Yeah,” you scoffed, “we’re great friends. We’ve bonded so much in the, what, four months you’ve known me?” You rolled your eyes, trying to make him feel uncomfortable, to drive a wedge between you. You only knew how to put up walls, how to run.

“You know we are.”

“Yeah, sure, right. Friends. Not like you want to sleep with me or anything.” You tried to drive another knife into him, to play it off like he was following you only because he had a crush on you, one you tried to pretend wasn’t reciprocated. “It’s not going to happen, Brian. So just accept that we’re not friends.”

He let you get about three steps away before you heard him say, “No. I know what you’re doing, and it’s not going to work. Sure, part of me wants something more, but...I care about you, Y/N. And if we can just be friends, I am happy with that, I swear. But don’t do this to me. Don’t try to shut me out or walk away or act like you’re fine. I know you well enough to know you’re not.” When you turned around, you could see that he had tears rimming his eyes, threatening to fall, which made your own tears spring up as well. “I am your friend. I’m not going to just let you go and do something stupid. You are going to talk about this. If not to me, then someone else. But you can’t just run away or sleep in your car or, or…”

“Okay.” You said, softly.

“Okay?”

“Fine, let’s talk about it. I screwed up again and my parents kicked me out. So what do I do?”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I...we’ll think of something.” He began to tell you, but you bit your lip and drowned him out in your own sobs. Everything crashed in on you at once; you hadn’t escaped in time. You slid down your locker wall and sat on the floor. Brian joined you and put his arm around you tentatively.

You are the bearer of unconditional things

You held your breath and the door for me

Thanks for your patience

After that day, you knew he wouldn’t let you go. You tried your best to brush him off, to hurt him, to land irreparable blows. But it was all in vain; he stuck by you. You admired how he stood up for you, for your relationship, whatever that meant. He didn’t back down, even though you knew he genuinely cared what you thought. He was willing to put everything on the line just to be with you, in whatever capacity you would allot him. And today, he had chosen you again. He had picked a fight with his mother and chosen you. He placed you above being safe and comfortable and at home right now.

“I’m sorry, this must seem so stupid to be complaining about. I know I don’t have it that bad, it’s just that--”

“No, your problems are valid, too. Your mom sucks.” You told him and he laughed, “But I would be lying if I said it wasn’t...weird to have someone be given the choice to stay instead of being yelled at to get out and that you’re worthless and---I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make this about me.” You said softly, looking down at your hands.

“No, I get it. It’s gotta be on your mind a lot, the uncertainty. Plus, I don’t mind talking about you.” He nudged your shoulder with his own, trying to be playful but you knew he meant that. He always put you first. You couldn’t help your next impulse as your hand shot up to cup his face and you leaned in and kissed him roughly. You weren’t entirely sure why you had done it. It would probably change everything and you couldn’t tell if you were doing it selfishly to feel like someone cared or to keep him around or because you truly wanted to. Of course, he kissed you back, and the feeling it gave you pushed a lot of those doubts from your mind.

You're the best listener that I've ever met

You're my best friend

Best friend with benefits

What took me so long?

*~~~~*

The kiss in the field still didn’t mean you were “together.” Realistically, it complicated things for a while. You avoided Brian for a couple of days and didn’t discuss it when you finally caved in to your desire to see him. He didn’t bring it up either, even though there were many times he would look at your lips like he wanted to make a move again, but you never talked about it. Things began to look “normal” after about two weeks. You spent time at the record shop, or under the bleachers with your friends or in the library with his friends. He nagged you about giving up smoking and you finally listened, much to his surprise.

“What made you finally decide to quit?” He asked, looking at the nicotine patch on your arm. You shrugged, not wanting to tell him the truth.

“I guess I just finally got tired of you being a broken record, mother hen.” You teased him, but he just smiled because he was happy with your choice. The truth of the matter was, you had done it for him. While you weren’t with him, you wanted to be. You didn’t want to keep doing something that bothered him so much, but you also knew that eventually, your habit of smoking would cost time with him and you didn’t want that. You lied to yourself that you didn’t want a relationship and weren’t thinking about a future with Brian, but you were. Every time he helped you study or encouraged you to do your best, the time your parents were out of town so he had made you his “specialty” of spaghetti in your kitchen, when you drove him around singing songs together on the radio...you thought about doing those things with him forever and instead of the fear you used to feel at such a thought, you felt happiness. You anticipated a future with him, something to look forward to.

I've never felt this healthy before

I've never wanted something rational

I am aware now

*~~~~*

“It’s kind of weird, yeah. But they’re cute together, I guess.” You had just returned from a movie with Bender and Claire. You were surprised at how long their relationship had lasted, especially since you had hated Claire at first. You assumed she was dating Bender as a statement, but it had been over six months and they were still together and it just seemed to work.

“It must be nice to have someone like that. Even if they don’t make sense, they care about each other. It just must be a nice thing to have a relationship like that.” Brian looked at you for a moment before backpedaling, realizing he must have made it sound like he was guilt-tripping you. “Don’t worry, I won’t ask you out again. I really just was complimenting them--”

“Well, maybe you should.” You cut him off.

You realized how rare a find like Brian truly was. He always put you before himself; he listened to all of your problems and knew when to offer solutions and when to just listen. He was endlessly supportive, and kind. He kept taking giant risks just to be with you, to show you that you mattered to him. You knew, without him saying it, that he loved you. Why else would someone go to the lengths he did, just to make you happy? You had tried everything to shake him, to get rid of him so neither one of you would be in too deep to get hurt. But he stayed, and now, you wouldn’t want him to go anyway. It was too late; you were both already in too deep.

He just blinked at you, sure he had heard incorrectly. “Wh-what?”

“I said, maybe you should. Ask me out again.”

“Y/N, do you want to go out with me?” He asked, unsure. It felt like a setup, but he knew you wouldn’t do something so cruel to him.

“Yes.” You replied, softly.

“Why?” He asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“I don’t know. I guess you won me over.” You chuckled, but he failed to see the humor in it, so you changed to a more serious tone. “Brian, I thought that these feelings would go away, that you would go away. Lord knows how hard I’ve tried to push you. But...you didn’t and the feelings didn’t. I-I love you. And I’m pretty sure I’m going to keep loving you, I don’t want to waste my time with anyone else. And...And I think that you love me.”

“I do.” He breathed quietly, with zero hesitation.

“So, why fight it any more? I was afraid that I would hurt you, but I think I’ve already done that and you’ve stuck around.” He nodded in confirmation of that fact. “And I was scared that I would get hurt but...but I’ve realized that you won’t do that to me, either.”

You've already won me over in spite of me

Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet

And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are

I couldn't help it

It's all your fault

He took your hands in his, “You’re serious? You really want this? Because, you know how I feel. How I’ve always felt.” You nodded in response, tears quickly filling your eyes, which was a rarity for you. He leaned in towards you to kiss you, for the first time since your conversation in the field over a month ago. He waited for you to be ready in every aspect of your relationship and you had never known so much love and respect before. It took some adjusting to, but he had pulled you in and made you fall for him again and again.

Just gonna tag my buddy...

@90sinequity

#brian johnson x reader #brian x reader #breakfast club #the breakfast club #reader insert #reader-insert #romance #mild angst #angst with a happy ending

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