#it actually has me very concerned that husk took one look at angel and said

[morganmnemonic]

I've seen some people complain about loser, baby featuring Husk comparing his gambling addiction to Angel's sexual abuse. And I feel like this criticism entirely misses the larger context of them bonding over having both sold their souls. Like, maybe slavery isn't quite the right analogy for this situation (it's unclear what power owning someone's soul actually gives you. Alastor and Valentino resort to bribery and manipulation respectively, so whatever power it is doesn't seem to be absolute) but its pretty darn close.

This song is one person who doesn't fully own himself telling another "our lives our fucked beyond repair. Give up your pride, it won't save you anymore. But. We can still make something worwhile out of our lives, if we acknowledge the pain and help each other weather it."

An example ive seen criticiszed a lot is when angel says "it's OK to be a coked up dick suckiny ho?" And husk says "baby that's fine with me"

But in context, husks reply is less '"I see no problem with this and think it's fine" and more "I get it man. I won't abandon you for the things your master makes you do, or the way you cope with them. We're in this together"

[hellsbeenbettersincehesplit]

The latest oneshot is finally here! Inspired by replies to this post by @sky-marbles !

In this, Vaggie learns pole dancing from Angel Dust in an effort by him to convince her to let him teach the hotel in a group bonding session. Featuring dancer!vaggie, no romance beyond one or two background ships, no actual sexual content (just references and a couple jokes), and unexpected friendship :)

I'd prefer if you read this on Ao3, but my works are archive-locked, so if you don't have an Ao3 account and thus can't read it on there it's also under the cut!

No Bonding Like *checks notes* Pole Dancing

Vaggie crossed her arms, barely suppressing a sigh. “We’re not stripping as a group activity. That’s final. I don’t have anything against stripping itself, but Charlie’s group bonding sessions aren’t supposed to be sexual.”

Angel huffed. “I didn’t say stripping, I said pole dancing. There’s a difference.”

Vaggie raised an eyebrow.

“There is! Pole dancing is an art. Stripping is also an art when it’s done right, and strippers were the ones who created pole, but pole dance itself isn’t inherently about sex.”

“You’re not exactly convincing me here.”

“Look, I know it can be. Why do you think I learned?” He sighed. “But it doesn’t have to be. It’s like…” He thought for a second. “It’s like how art of naked people can be for anatomy shit, or for porn, or for both.”

Vaggie remained unconvinced.

“How about this.” Angel stretched as he stood from the hotel couch. “I spend an afternoon teaching you a bit of pole, and you approach it with an open mind. If you still think it’s ‘just sex,’ I’ll never bring it up again. But if you do change your mind, we have that group bonding session.”

“Why should I take you up on that when I can just say no as-is?”

“I’d just ask Charlie. We both know she’s easier to convince.”

Vaggie groaned. Why did he have to be right? “Fine. Look, I can’t promise we’ll allow it even if you can convince me. But you can try.”

And so, that was how Vaggie had found herself in a room with Angel Dust and a pole-dancing pole. It occurred to her that she was likely the only person in Hell to have ever had that sentence apply to her without it being sexual in some way. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other awkwardly. Honestly, she’d kind of been dreading this.

Angel Dust looked her up and down. “You’re going to need skin-to-skin contact with the pole. The jacket has to go. The bike shorts should be fine, though.”

Reluctantly, Vaggie took off the jacket. Angel seemed to approve of the loose t-shirt (most likely Charlie’s) that Vaggie had on.

“Alright,” Angel said decisively. “Let’s get started.”

It was very different from what Vaggie expected. The moves Angel had started her out with were very beginner, and Vaggie actually did feel herself starting to understand it after a few tries. It was difficult in the way that learning anything new was, but Vaggie was also familiar with rhythm and dance. That familiarity led to her picking up moves faster than she’d thought she would. She was surprised to find herself genuinely enjoying the dance. She didn’t even fall half as often as she thought she would.

Likewise, being with Angel one-on-one wasn’t awful. He was a little different here than he was around others- maybe because he wasn’t flirting with Husk or Alastor or anyone, maybe because he was confident in what he was doing, maybe just because he was trying to convince her that this wasn’t sexual and making innuendos wouldn’t help him. In any case, she kind of liked this side of him.

“Convinced yet?” He’d asked her on their third break.

“Not quite,” Vaggie responded. “I mean- this hasn’t been what I thought. I’ll admit that you were right and pole dance is an art form, and it's more than I thought it was. But I have other concerns about the group setting. Namely, I think it might turn into something sexual.”

Angel rolled his eyes and offered her a hand up. “I get where you're coming from, but that could happen with literally anything. Now, you wanna practice that move a couple more times?”

Vaggie sighed and slowly stood, as something occurred to her. “Why do you only use one set of arms?” Wouldn’t extra hands make something like this easier?

“Same reason you’re not using your wings yet. I normally do, but you’re on the basics, so you learn the fundamentals that humans can do and build from there. As your teacher, I need to model that.” He raised an eyebrow. “Also, did you think I’d teach you moves that use limbs you don’t have?”

Vaggie shrugged. Honestly, she had expected that.

They were back to the dancing part. Vaggie had to admit, Angel was really fucking good at this. Vaggie herself wasn’t bad for a beginner, but every movement looked so effortless from Angel. It was almost like he was moving in a tank of water, or like his frame rate would be double hers in an animation. She was the one that could fly, but she couldn’t help but think the way Angel defied gravity was just as impressive.

“Do you do any other types of dance?” She asked after he showed her a beginner move she’d attempted 20 times look unreasonably fucking fluid. 

“No?” he replied, audibly confused. “I learned this because of Val. I’m good because I’ve been doing it for half a century, but I’m not really a dancer.”

That actually got a chuckle out of Vaggie. “Not really a dancer my ass. That shit was smoother than half the ballerinas I’ve worked with. Seriously, you’d be great at another form if you do decide to try one.”

Wait. Why did he look so confused at that?

“You do ballet?”

“A bit. Also salsa and cumbia. Maybe modern dance someday.” She was pretty damn good at perreo, but she wasn’t about to tell Angel Dust that.

Now he was the one gaping. There was no way she’d forgotten to tell the others about that. Right?

“Since when are you a fucking dancer?”

She shrugged. “A year or two, I guess.”

“And you didn’t tell us?”

“It never really came up.”

“Because you never mentioned it! How’d you end up doing it in the first place?”

“Running got boring.”

“Come on, there’s gotta be more than that.”

Vaggie didn’t want to go on some long monologue, but Angel seemed genuinely curious, so it seemed to be time for the long answer.

“Exterminators are the most birdlike angels on a biological level, because we’re the ones who have to fly outside of the atmosphere of Heaven. Flying normally burns a lot of energy. When I lost my wings, that change was really hard on me. I started running to get some cardio back, and I saw an ad so I signed up for a few dance classes to get some variety. I went to one a nd… I don’t know, something clicked. Before I fell, my entire life was training. I still like running and sparring, but they’ll always be tied to all the baggage from...” her voice trailed off. “Dance is… it’s fun, you know? I’m not doing it for violence or for Lute or anyone. I’m doing it for me, and I can just lose myself in the music and moving and pursuing excellence and get that rush of endorphins in something that’s just mine.”

Angel somehow looked even more shocked. Fuck, was that oversharing?

“Shit, you’re right. I should absolutely take some classes.”

That was a strange reaction. “What?”

“Like I said, I learned this shit because of Val,” Angel pointed out. “I mean, we’ve got different tragic backstories, but I feel like I could get something similar from it, you know? As long as he doesn’t find out.”

Vaggie grinned. “Can you imagine everyone else’s faces if they see us performing as dance partners?”

That got an actual laugh out of Angel Dust. “Sir Pentious would probably think we’re dating,” he choked out. “That’s it, I’m signing up, we have to make that a reality.”

After a few hours that felt so much shorter, they wrapped up the lesson. Angel had Vaggie combine the building blocks he’d taught her into something of a short dance. She slipped up a couple times and she knew her movements were a little forced and choppy, but he looked so proud of her after that she couldn’t help but be proud too.

“So…” he asked. “What’s the decision?”

On one hand, she still thought that while pole could be not sexual, it might turn into that in a larger group. On the other hand, she had to hand it to him- this really was an art. Charlie’s rules for the hotel weren’t meant to be limiting, and Angel’s idea could be fun.

“I guess it’d be ok,” Vaggie decided. “As long as Charlie agrees with me.” She caught the little fist pump Angel did and added, “Also, we should totally do this again.”

“You want to learn for real?” There was disbelief in Angel’s voice.

“Yeah! This… was kind of nice.”

There was an excited gleam in his eyes as he responded, “Alright, but you had better make good on the salsa lessons.”

“Deal.”

Angel had honestly surprised her today. She’d known he was doing better, but she still wouldn’t have described herself as close to him. That energy of his personality being almost a performance, which Husk had loved to complain about, had given Vaggie a vibe to stay away- which she felt bad about in retrospect. Angel was more considerate than she’d expected and a shockingly good teacher.

“Hey, you better let me know how Charlie feels about all this tomorrow morning,” he told Vaggie with a suggestive wink.

Never mind, she took back all that sweet shit. She flipped him off, and smiled as she set a reminder on her phone for the date and time of the next lesson.

[exclipssesss]

Stronger than you.

Alastor x Overlord!Reader.

Requested by: @itz-kira

Summary: Alastor finds great interest at you for being a fellow overlord although he tries to convince you that you are no less underneath him.

Warnings: mentions of uncontrolled suicide (light), violence (light), soft alastor

Type: Headcanon, Oneshot.

Words: 1340

You were one of the most powerful overlords in all of the Pentagram, demons of all sorts feared you for both your powers and your wit.

That is, almost everyone.

Funnily enough, the other overlords in hell treats you like some kind of joke, even a certain Radio Demon.

The moment you stepped into the Hotel, the situation became tensed, i mean, how could it not? Now there's not only one but two overlords in the hotel.

Alastor felt this, and immediately went to you about it.

"Why, dear you're making them all feel as if we're all gonna have our second death, smile why don't you?"

You rolled your eyes and immediately look around, the other demons have their eyes on both you and Alastor.

Charlie of course immediately went to you with glee.

"OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH! WELCOME!"

You laughed at her cheerfulness, very out of place for someone in hell.

The moment you told Charlie that you wanted to join her project of redeeming demons, Alastor's eyes immediately widen for a split second.

When Charlie and you stopped talking with Charlie skipping away with happiness, you can feel Alastor chuckling behind you.

"My, my, i didn't expect that. You certainly do amused me my dear."

He would honestly be really stingy with you at first.

But slowly and surely starting to warm up.

He'll back you up if someone dares to speak low at you.

You'd do the same if anyone dares to talk about him behind his back.

You just didn't know that his shadows are always watching, therefore he saw you almost killing someone into fucking oblivion just because they speak bad about him.

He really starting to like you now.

At first it's just mutual respect.

"Why, as someone who is also feared by many it's respectful to help those who isn't as powerful as i am! Which is why I'm helping you my dear."

"Sure Al,"

One day, some demon decided that it'll be haha fun time to bully Charlie about the Hotel.

As someone who works at the hotel, you were offended. So you decided to, teach him a lesson.

An extra pair of hands grabbed him by the arms and pulled him into a wall, another hand was on his throat, choaking him a little.

You were this close to killing him, and everyone in the room was basically terrified of you. This is your power after all, being able to manipulate body parts.

You can basically make someone commit suicide with their own hands without the victim being able to control them, so they were right to be scared.

You decided to let this bastard demon who threatened Charlie go, and he immediately apologized.

Someone else though, was about to do the same thing, you were just a tad bit faster to react than him.

"Well, that was certainly entertaining."

At that point he was more in awe than before, especially since you proved him that you are more than what you seem.

And my god are you such an interesting little darling to this man.

He didn't realize it at first that he's very fond of you.

That is until Charlie decided to do a staff meeting.

You were discussing about who's going to be the new manager.

Of course everyone pointed you since pretty much everyone now knows about your powers and therefore no one will dare to mess around.

But you thought differently.

"I don't know, i don't think i can handle being a manager. Plus, demons barely fear me compared to fearing Alastor there, i bet he does a one hell of an amazing job than i do."

Wowie does his heart did a leap there.

Congrats, this Radio Demon is now wrapped around your fingers.

He took the role of Manager with great honor and even asked you to be his assistant.

At first you refused because that's more work, but when you see his face,

How can you say no?

In the end, you basically became that feared badass duo in the Hotel. And boy does everyone knows not to mess with you two.

And even though it took some time, he actually confessed because "Fuck it, might as well have this feeling sorted than letting it be a mess."

You said yes because overtime you were fond of him as well.

Hope you're okay to be his darling for eternity because he ain't letting you go.

The confession:

Alastor paced around the hallway for five straight minutes, making sure that he was on terms with himself on what he's going to do.

At least, what he wanted to do.

For one of the most powerful overlords Hell has ever seen, he's sure as hell self conscious. Very self conscious. What if you say no? How is he going to react? Should he just end you? Himself? How did he got the feeling in the first place? It's not like you put a curse on him, did you? You did. He was almost certain of it. How else are you going to make him so attached to you?

These questions were raised in his head and not even in a second, more and more rose up with it. With a fix of his bowtie, he finally took a breath, not like he needed it, and walked out. Wearing his all time cheeky grin as always. Of course he was great at hiding his feelings, walking to you as if everything is normal, but he knew better, and you can sense it.

"Greetings, Strawberry man." You called out casually. Looking through your notes while trying to refill the booze in Husk's Bar. Alastor cringed a little at the nickname, and you chuckled in return, just like that he's head over heels for you again. "Hello my dear, i thought i told you not to call me that?"

You shrugged, and rubbed your hands together to get all the dusts away. "You did, but your reaction was always worth the act." You giggled, closing the boxes and putting em aside. "Anyways, need anything?" You asked, looking at him with slight concern.

"Indeed actually!" He chirped out, you can see a flash of panic trough his eyes, which is in itself was weird. "I need you-" he could've stopped there and already getting the point across. But we know this man is a gentleman, and that means actually trying to explain what's going on to the love of his life to be. "-to listen to me. For a moment."

"Oh sure, what's up? If this is about Angel pissing you off, i swear to Lucifer I'll immediately go." You teased him, although you weren't half joking either. Listening to Alastor ranting about Angel is not a rare thing. The opposite actually. Alastor laughed at this, and shook his head, a smile wider than before plastered on his face. "No darling. Although he is as infuriating as ever, thankfully that's not why I'm here."

He grabbed a hand of yours, and you were more concerned than ever. What's gotten into him? What happened? Although you didn't say anything about it, and instead just look up at him with confusion.

He continued to open his mouth, words flowing out and most came out better than the last. You can feel your cheeks heat up by every word, still confused on why he's saying this, till of course you met the end of his speech.

"In the end, sweetheart, my only drive and intention is only to make sure you are happy and satisfied alongside me. Believe me, i myself is also very much confused on what's going on but suffice to say i really did feel as if i've underappreciated you my dear, and i promised not to do that again. So with that out of the way, would it be okay for me to court you?"

Bro.

You're a confused mess.

But of course you said yes because aha this is Alastor??? Hello???

Well, we know what happened next anyways ;)

[floralkittygambler]

HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’.  DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not.  HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment.  I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief.  For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions.  In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair.  Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity.  On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed  in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd.  There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings).  Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond.  A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross.  In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute.  Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative.  The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average.  Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing.  Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy.  Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow.  Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship.  Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this.  The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label.  Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour.  I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it.  Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics.  I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble.  Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke.  This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow​ (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars​, @galemalio​ (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz​, @critical-hazbin​, @what-the-hazbin​, @hazboobhotel​, @pineapple-critiques-stuff​, @devils-advocutie​, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

[nocturnegyser]

The feels

Warren x Reader (raccoon)

A/N: I’ve had this typed out for a while and I wanted to go do more Warren x Raccoon material, I just decided to actually go through it, it still probably sucks but I tried. I’m not a professional in any sense, anyways, enjoy :3

———

Summary: Warrens been acting strange.. (y/n) tries to find out what’s happening with him, wonder what it is?

———

Having only been going to her new school for 2 months, (y/n) has already met so many cool people. She even started her band called ‘Clean Trash’, ironically not with Warren on the drums.

The one replacing Warren on drums was a 5th grader named Ryan Husk, his muatation allows to move any liquid with his mind, their bassist being an 8th grader named Mars Palenski, his mutation gives him a giant rats tail and ears, pretty similar to (y/n)’s raccoon ears and tail.

Needless to say, (y/n) was getting along just fine, she was keeping up with her classes, nothing perfect but she didn’t care, just as long as she was passing.

———

Waking up one morning for breakfast, (y/n) nader her way to the kitchen for hopefully some marshmallow mateys, one she got there she saw Warren standing at the stove preparing food, both locking eyes when she walked in.

This reminded (y/n) of their first proper time meeting, although instead of giving Warren a death look, she smiled and wished him a good morning.

Warren doing the same, (y/n) was grabbing the cereal and milk, in the midst of preparing her breakfast.

“I can make you some french toast if you want” Warren offered

“Huh?.. oh.. yea ok” the still waking up very tired raccoon girl sitting down at the counter

Peter and Alex then walking in greeting both a good morning, then returning a good morning back.

Peter then smelling the french toast “Oh man! I love your french toast!” Peter getting excited

“Fuck off, I’m not making you anymore after what happened last time” Warren staring daggers at Peter while setting a plate in front of (y/n) and himself

“What happened last time?” (y/n) asked pouring syrup on her stack

“Well basically-“ Peter started then Alex shortly cutting him off “He finished all 24 pieces Warren spent almost an hour making, he didn’t even get a single bite”

“Dang” (y/n) responded while taking a bite “Hey, what do you expect from me? I was too hungry!”

“Some damn self control would be nice” Warren still staring daggers at Peter, both opting to eat the same marshmallow mateys (y/n) was planning on eating

———

After finishing (y/n) washed her dishes and offered to help Warren clean up but he insisted she go and get ready for classes, she took him up on it and go ready for the day, washed her face, brushed her teeth, hair, ears and tail.

(y/n) and Warren didn’t have any classes together, their schedules didn’t really cross paths a lot, even morning breakfasts like that were rare, (y/n) was content with their schedules not matching up all the time, she was happy with whatever time they did spend together if any at all.

(y/n) mostly ate lunch with Jubilee and if she wasn’t available for lunch then Mars and Ryan would eat with her.

It was after classes when Clean Trash would practice in the unused music room, that is if neither Ryan or Mars had homework.

She had a policy if either of them had homework before coming to practice they would have to finish it before they turn the amps on, or if they got in trouble they wouldn’t practice that day, they didn’t practice on the weekends though.

“You guys got any homework?” (y/n) asked her band mates, “No,” both answered truthfully

“Ok, let’s begin with ‘My heart is a futon’” (y/n) taking initiative

“How do you come up with these song names?” Mars asked

“I dunno, just whatever comes to mind, mind counting us off Ryan?” (y/n) pointing at Ryan, guitar pick in hand

“One, two, three, four, one two!”

Warren just so happened to be passing by the music room the band was in and overheard them playing.

Wanting to go unnoticed, he peeked in through the window watching and listening to them play, mostly focusing on (y/n) though.

Jean shortly caught him watching them and overheard what he was thinking

She has a really good singing voice, not to mention how her hair falls perfectly while playing..

“Wow,” Jean interrupting his thought “Never seen you this head over heels for someone, must be pretty special”

“Hey! I’m not ‘head over heels’, okay?“ Warren realizing she knows exactly what she’s talking about “They just sound really good is all”

“Right, just like what you thought on the ride to the movies” Jean flustering the already flustered angel boy even more “You think you’re ever going to tell her?”

“How do you- look, quit reading my thoughts okay? I don’t have anything to tell her” Warren becoming a little defensive “We’re just friends”

“Warren, you’re only friends for so long before she moves on” Jean trying to convince him

“Moves on? what’s that supposed to mean?” Warren asked confused

“You’re going to see what I mean, just waiting around doing nothing” Jean then walking off

Move on?... does she mean... no

Warren takes one more glance of (y/n) playing before walking off

———

In his room who he shared with Kurt, laying on his bed thinking to himself

Should I tell her?... Will someone else come along?...

Kurt and Alex bursting in throwing Warrens train of thought off, both seeing his worry almost immediately

Kurt, trying to be a good friend crouched down near Warren “You have immense sadness in your eyes friend, tell us what’s wrong?”

Warren, not wanting to talk about it, but not wanting to come off too mean, “Ok Blue, listen, I don’t want to talk about anything, especially with you” eventually just walking out in a huff

“... Think it was something I said?” Kurts ears flopped in a sad manner, Peter assuring him it was him “Ah jeez, he’s been like this since our horror movie trip plan fell through, must’ve really wanted to watch that movie..”

What would I ever say.. How would I even say it... when.. should I say... GAH! I hate this! I’m going to workout

Walking in the locker room , he ran into Scott already talking to friends.

His friends having already gotten ready before him, they went on ahead leaving Scott alone with Warren.

“Hey Warren! I haven’t talked to you since the horror movie fail, how’ve you been man?” Scott trying to spark a small conversation getting ready

“Yeah I’ve been fine” Warren already disconnecting from the world around him

“Yeah, you never told us how your trip to the music shop with (y/n) was” Scott joked

“It was fine” Warren replied coldly

“Fine enough you started acting less cranky all the time?”

“It was until you opened your mouth” Warren getting done before Scott and heading into the gym

———

In her room, (y/n) and Jubilee are planning the elementary classes Summer picnic, it was a special request by Charles.

“So that’s 25 turkey sandwiches for the kids with nut allergies.. and 45 pb & j’s.. in total thats.. 70 sandwiches, whoooff” (y/n) laying back in her bed just wanting to go to sleep even thought it was only 4:37pm

“Ok Scott called the ice cream parlor and they did have each classes flavor selections, but we do have to go pick them up ourselves the day of,” (y/n), Jubilee, Scott and Jean have all been tasked in helping plan this picnic for some time.

“Ok I guess that just leaves... actually making the sandwiches, sorting the sandwiches, and picking up everything else.. ugh, I don’t hate these kids but why do there have to be so many of them” (y/n) was super exhausted

“Doesn’t your reality manipulation allow you to multiply objects?”

“I don’t have it under control yet, so as of the moment.. no”

“Well not taking the easy way goes to show how much you care right? Besides, isn’t one of your band members attending this picnic? Ryan Dust, right?”

“Husk, and yes, he is coincidentally in the class I’ll be helping supervise”

“You see? wouldn’t it be just awesome for little Ryan to his bands leader working hard?”

“Ugh... I guess so”

“Well I gotta get going” Jubilee started packing her things, “I gotta meet with Jane and discuss seating arrangements, see if you can get any help with the sandwiches, maybe ask Warren?”

“Why Warren?” (y/n) confused why Jubilee specifically said Warren

“Why not Warren? Doesnt Ryan look up to Warren as a drummer? I’m sure it would make Ryan super motivated to see two people he looks up to working so hard”

“Yea ok but-“

“Hold that but. I gotta go, talk later”

With that over, for now, (y/n) started cleaning up the mess of papers on her bed and grabbed her phone to call Warren, voicemail.

Huh... guess he’s busy right now.. I’ll ask again later... but I might forget to ask later and he might over book his schedule, he really needs to stop doing that... Oh! I know! I’ll set a reminder on my phone! this phone has a reminder app doesn’t it?

Navigating her phone proved to be more difficult than she anticipated, considering she’s had her phone longer than a month, it was still her first phone, her brother got it for her before she left, she never really got around to learning how to use it.

Getting frustrated not finding what she needed using her phone, (y/n) opted to asking Warren in person

———

Running around the whole mansion looking for Warren and even asking people who knew him if they saw him around, no luck.

Until she ran into Kurt and Peter in the main hall, (y/n) immediately running up to them and asking both if the saw him anywhere.

“Uh, yeah last we saw him, he was heading to the gym, looked like he was going through it,” Peter answered, Kurt immediately agreeing, “Ja, He stormed off after I asked him what was wrong..”

What was wrong? Going through it? What’s happening with Warren?

Peter then reassuring Kurt it wasn’t his fault Warren was upset, “Dude, I told you, he’s been like this since that movie we went to go see sold out on movie tickets, like I said, he’s probably just pissed he didn’t get to see it”

“Been like what?” (y/n) now concerned

“Well it’s kinda difficult to explain but more happy in a way kinda, but also crank now that he’s more happy, y’know?”

(y/n) understood what he meant, “Yea.. well I’ll ask him about it once I find him, thank guys,” (y/n) then running off towards the gym, the two boys nodding and continuing on with their day.

———

(y/n) made it to the gym, not having really used it yet, she just ran in looking for Warren, she figured she’d look for his wings since they were easy to spot.

After a few minutes of looking, (y/n) eventually spotted Warren lifting weights on a bench in the back.

She was waving and shouting to him hoping he’d notice but he wasn’t paying attention and had his music in.

(y/n) decided she’d approach him and get his attention that way, upon approaching him she tapped his shoulder hoping it would get his attention, big mistake.

Tapping Warrens shoulder triggered his fight instincts and whipped around with full wing span, cutting (y/n) in the face.

She fell to the ground dazed holding her face, Warren immediately realizing what he’s done he immediately runs to her and gives her a towel to cover her cut with.

Scott noticing the commotion ran over to help Warren rush (y/n) to med.

———

Outside of med Warren was pacing back and forth while Scott was sitting on a bench, both waiting for Hank and (y/n).

Warren couldn’t stop pacing, Scott tried to relieve him,” Hey look, worst case scenario, she just has some light scarring..”

Warren immediately erupting, “No! Don’t you get it??! This whole thing means I haven’t changed a bit since Apocalypse!!,” Warren having remembered his nature when he aligned with Apocalypse over 2 years ago.

“Hey! Now don’t say that! You obviously didn’t mean to hurt her, you obviously aren’t the same from then“ Scott trying to assure Warren he isn’t the same from back then, “Look! even you and Kurt can live in the same room! Surely that means something”

“Yea, not like we ever talk,” Warren denying everything Scott was saying, Scott still trying to convince him otherwise, “Even Kurt considers you a friend now, he never saw you as a bad guy Warren, no one has, not even Charles”

Warren still not listening stormed off again, tears almost forming in his eyes, not too long after, Hank brought (y/n) with a clean bill of health apart from the bandage on her face, and a lollipop

“Nothing too bad, the bleeding stopped, it’s best to keep the bandage on to prevent bacteria from getting in,” Hank explained to Scott

“Thanks Mr. Hank, also for the lollipop” (y/n) gratefully thanked, then looking around for Warren “Where’d Warren go?”

“Oh, Warren... he needed to go... take care of something,” Scott nervously told (y/n) not wanting to worry her by telling her he stormed off because he’s afraid he’s the same as when he was with Apocalypse

“Oh... I just needed to talk to him about something..”

“About the sandwiches for the picnic right? Jubilee asked Peter if he could help, with Peter the sandwiches will be done in a second”

(y/n) shaking her head, “No, not that... I needed to ask him about.. something else”

Scott a little confused but realizing, “You’re not.. mad at Warren now are you?” Scott reluctantly asked (y/n)

(y/n) shaking her head again, “Of course not, I probably shouldn’t have snuck up on him like that, it’s just as much my fault I got this that it his,” (y/n) immediately placing the blame on herself for something that obviously wasn’t her fault or Warrens

Both Hank and Scott try to reassure it wasn’t either sides fault

“Well, I know he didn’t mean to hurt me, I just... I need to talk to him”

“Well.. it’s probably not the best time to... bother him, he’s got some .. things to take care of right now,” Scott trying to avoid even more problems between them

“Maybe, but he’s.. my friend, I need to know if he’s alright” (y/n) then speed walking off to go find Warren

“Ah jeez...” Scott sighed

“Think they’re... actually going to talk about... that?” Hank asked

“I dunno, I just hope they’re able to work things out”

———

Having run through the whole mansion looking for Warren once again, (y/n) was certain she knew where he was, but to no avail. On her way back to her room, she noticed the attic ceiling hatch and realized.

“Tch- could he...,” (y/n) began opening the hatch letting the ladder down then ascending up into the attic.

“Hello-“ (y/n) checking to see if anyone was up there, then there he was. Not wanting to alarm him again, she slowly arose from the hatch and go up slowly as to not to alarm him. Warren was just sitting on a window sill looking out, lost in thought

W: *Why did I do that... I told myself she.. I was going to...*

(y/n): *Ok, I can see he isn’t paying attention again... this time I’ll... I’ll call him softly as to not to trigger his attack again*

(y/n) reluctantly took a step closer, stepping on a creaky floorboard thus alerting Warren, Warren looked over and sat up immediately, panic in his eyes.

“(y/n)!” Warren stuttered

“Hi! uh.. I just wanted to check up on you ‘cus I heard from Peter and Kurt that-“ (y/n) trying to be friendly with Warren then cutting her off

“(y/n)! y-you shouldn’t be here, it’s not-“ Warren spat out nervously with (y/n) cutting him off in return

“Ok ok I know I know, you had some stuff to think about but, I just wanted to say I’m sorry I snuck up on you like that, I should have probably alerted you before approaching you, you just had your music in I didn’t know-“ Warren then cutting her off once again “Look. (y/n), I am truly sorry I cut your face but.. you shouldn’t be around me, I’m just-“

“What? Dangerous? just ‘cause you have metal wings? there are people in this world without metal wings who I’m scared of more than you”

“(y/n)-”

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me like that I just.. at first I wanted to ask you about sandwiches but.. Peter and Kurt told me you’ve been ‘going through it’, their words not mine, and I just wanted to see exactly... what it is you’re going through..”

“(y/n), listen, you don’t understand, I’m the Archangel of Death! I don’t belong anywhere here, I just-“ Warren spewed out with (y/n) cutting him off again

“Warren! just shut up and listen to what I have to say!” she bursted out, continuing “I know you don’t mean any harm even whatever happened in the past, I’m not sure what all happened but that’s hopefully why I’m here, I just want to be there for someone who makes this place feel more like home even though we don’t meet up a lot”

“y/n), I-“

“Being here was scary but being here with you.. made it less scary, I don’t know if you feel the same way about me but.. I want. to be there for you when I can, Warren” (y/n) then taking a step closer knowing Warren can’t go anywhere

“Being around you.. I feel.. like maybe being here isn’t so bad, like maybe I can actually make something of myself here, like maybe.. you aren’t so bad..” (y/n) holding herself with tears welling up in her eyes

“I don’t know if you feel the same around me but.. that’s how I feel.. about you” (y/n) finally finishing

“(y/n)...” (y/n) holding for impact, entirely expecting him to reject her feeling, “I feel the same way about you,” Warren then taking a step closer

(y/n) almost gasped not believing what she heard

“Being around you.. brings me to a simpler time in my life and.. whenever we do meet up or bump into each other that feeling washes over me completely and.. I thought you hated my guts when we first met. You calling me angel boy, me calling you trash panda.. I never thought you’d want to talk to me ‘cus..” Warren expanding his wings and motion to them “I also wanted to be there for you when I could but.. I never saw you during the day, so I just..”

Both of them just stood there, looking into each other’s eye, then both taking another step closer to one another.

“Can I..” Warren started, looking deep into (y/n)’s yellow golden eyes, “Can I.. kiss.. you?”

(y/n) tears streaming down her face, just stood there looking up at Warren, not even answering him, she jumped up wrapping her arms around his neck just going for it. They kissed, Warren holding her close to him, (y/n) hasn’t felt so safe since she moved, Warrens wings around both of them. After what felt like forever only being 8 seconds, they separated kissing still holding each other.

“Well... ever kiss a raccoon face girl?” (y/n) joked

“He he, uh.. no but it was definitely a fine start”

Both chuckling before kissing again

———

A/N: if this sucked plz tell me, bully me if it was actually bad :D

[kiddoryder]

Rimfire

Wow...It's been since I wrote a fanfic huh? Well I'm really sorry about that. I mean you have to admit, 2020 was hell with all the crazy stuff that was happening. I felt stressed and lost my happiness and spark in writing.

But thanks to the new year and new Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel clips and episodes coming out, I feel back and better than ever!

So, this story about my OC Sonya/Liz making a new friend making Charlie feel some type of way.

So, relax and enjoy the story!

At the hotel, Angel was sitting on the couch watching some TV. Then Charlie and Vaggie come in and Vaggie looked very annoyed. Angel noticed the look on Vaggie's face, but he didn't care.

Angel - "What the fuck you want?"

Vaggie - "You haven't been doing your chores in the hotel!"

Charlie - "Yeah Angel. I told you to take out the trash hours ago and you didn't do it."

Angel - "And?"

Charlie - "Care to explain why you didn't take the trash out like I told you?"

Angel - "Cause Vaggie didn't wanted to fucking leave. I mean I thought the princess would have better taste in lovers. Guess trash is her type."

Vaggie fumes in anger and was about to punch Angel, but Charlie stopped her.

Charlie - *to Vaggie* Let me handle this. *to Angel and sternly* Angel Dust, as the princess of hell and heir to the throne, I order you take out the trash."

Angel - *annoyed* "Ugh! Fine."

Angel took the bag of garbage and threw it out the window breaking the glass.

Vaggie - *furious* "Angel!"

Angel - "What? Ya told me to take out the trash and I did."

Vaggie - "We meant by you getting your lazy ass up and actually doing it you motherfucking bastard!"

Angel - "Well ya should been clearer on that and be less of a nagging bitch!"

Vaggie growled in anger and was about to punch Angel, but Charlie stopped her.

Charlie - *pleading* "Guys please. This isn't the time to fight."

Vaggie - *sighs* "Fine."

Charlie heard a ping noise on her phone. She looked at her phone and look a bit dishearten and text back. Charlie put her phone back and sigh a little. Vaggie seem to notice this and said:

Vaggie - *concerned* "Is there something wrong hon?"

Charlie - "Oh it's just Sonya."

Angel - "Sonya? Your baby cousin who's a Gemini and have an awesome side in her head?"

Charlie - "Yeah. I ask her if she wanted to hang out and she said how she's a little busy today. To be honest I'm a little worried."

Vaggie - "Why?"

Charlie - "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy she and her family move in the city, but I haven't seen her in a while."

Angel - "Hey maybe the kid is hanging out with her friends."

Charlie - "Sonya and Liz don't have friends."

Vaggie - *sympathetic* "Aw. They don't have any friends because they are Gemini?"

Charlie - "Actually no. It's their own choice for not having any friends because the other kids don't interest them."

Angel - "Well who can blame them for that? I mean most of the people in hell are either fucking boring ugly freaks or just fucking creepy."

Charlie - *uneasy* "Right…Anyway, to sort of speak, I'm Sonya and Liz only friend. But it's okay because family members can also be friends as well."

Vaggie - "Well alright."

()()()()()()()()

A few days had passed and believe it or not, the hotel was getting more people. Even though Charlie is happy about that, she couldn't help but wonder about why Sonya and Liz haven't been able to hang out with them. Charlie would often be disappointed when they are "busy" or have "other plans''. However, Charlie still has high hopes and spirits that she will be able to spend some time with her baby cousin.

Right now, as Vaggie and Angel was coming down and saw Charlie with Razzle and Dazzle practicing some songs.

Vaggie - *confused* "Um Charlie? What are you doing?"

Angel - "Ya doing a pitch again for the hotel?"

Charlie - *chuckles* "I wish but no. Today is the annual Hell Music Festival."

Angel - "Isn't that the festival where some motherfuckers come and play some shitty music?"

Charlie - *displeased* "Yes, it is Angel."

Vaggie - *to Angel*" And what the fuck you know about music Angel?"

Angel - "For ya information babe, I happened to be an expert when it comes to music."

Vaggie - "How? By picking which song to choose when you fuck the creeps that paid you?"

Angel - "Beside that! I know how to play the accordion and trumpet. Plus, I listen to some pop music by some bitch name Verisoka Mayday. Her songs are pretty catchy."

Charlie - "Well today is the day of that Festival. Sonya, Liz, and I would always practice, play some music, and have fun. It's one of my favorite things to do with them."

Then they heard a loud squawking noise outside. Everybody covered their eyes, and Husk woke up from his drunk nap.

Husk - *annoyed* "What the fuck is that noise?"

Vaggie - "It's that stupid crow bird! I thought Niffty got rid of it!"

Niffty - *popped up* "Oh! I did! But then another one came, and I got rid of that one and I made it into a hat."

Niffty show everybody her new crow "hat". This creep everyone out as Niffty put it away.

Niffty - "That must be a new one that came today."

Then the bird stops squawking. Then there was a knock on the door.

Charlie - *squeal* "It must be Sonya!"

Charlie ran to the door and opened it. She was surprised to see not only Sonya was there but someone next to her. It was some Fox/cat like demon girl around Sonya's age. She has short purple hair, long bangs that covered her right eye. Her eye was red with yellow pupil, her Fox ears was gray but was wearing a safari hat with tooth's in it. She has white fur with a puffy white cat tail, her out was a safari vest, a long sleeve crop top that was black with flames on it. She was wearing camouflage pants which a knife patch strap to her left leg and had on brown army boots.

Sonya - "Hey Cousin Charlie! This is my new friend Rimfire Bloodworth!"

Rimfire - "Sup."

Charlie - *surprised* "Oh! A new friend? Well, it nice to meet you Rimfire. Come inside."

The girls went inside and Rimfire looked around.

Rimfire - "Nice place. What's this hotel for?"

Charlie - "Oh! It's a place to redeem sinners."

Rimfire - *confused* "Redeem sinners?"

Charlie - "Yes. I believe every demon- well most demons have something good deep down inside of them. If I can unlock that good, they can access to Heaven."

Then Charlie bring Rimfire to the lobby living room where Angel, Husk, Niffty, and Vaggie was.

Charlie - Hey guys *the demon began to make noise again* this is *the bird made louder noise* my cousin new *the bird made even louder noise* LITTLE FRIEND THAT I WANT YOU TO- "

The demon bird kept on making loud noises. An annoyed Rimfire took out a gun from her vest and shot the bird straight in the chest. The bird then fell from the tree dead and everybody was shocked on how Rimfire not only has a good for her age, but how she was able to shoot the bird with good aim.

Rimfire - "I took care of it" *blows the gun smoke*

Charlie - "Anyway...This is Sonya's new friend Rimfire."

Angel Dust - "New friend? *teasingly* So she's your new lover?"

Sonya - *annoyed* "No! She's just someone I just met!"

Angel Dust - "Yeah sure kid. It starts out that way and pretty when you soon hit your grown up hears bam! You're both sleeping together in the same bed.

Vaggie - *rolled her eyes* "Augh don't listen to him! He's the type that would sleep with anybody for money."

Angel - *scoff* "Not everybody. I wouldn't sleep with you if you even paid me."

Vaggie - *mad* "I'm a lesbian you idiot!"

Sonya - *to Rimfire* Don't mind them. *points to Vaggie* That's Vaggie. Vaggie is the hotel's manager and my cousin's girlfriend. She also the one who must keep *points to Angel* Angel Dust there in line. He's also the first patient here for the hotel."

Angel - "I'm also Hell's biggest porn star. So, I'm pretty much famous. If ya want kid, I can show you one of my movies."

Charlie - *shocked* "Angel! They are underage!"

Husk - "Oh come on Princess. The weird little boy and his friend here are close to adulthood."

Sonya - "First of all, I'm a weird little girl! And second, I rather watch the 666 news then watch Angel's dirty gross movies."

Angel - *offended* "Hey! They aren't gross! They are very high class."

Sonya - *rolled her eyes* "This is Niffty and Husk. They work at the hotel."

Niffty - *to Rimfire* "Ooh nice to meet you! I'm always happy to make new friends. It was nice of you killed that annoying bird. Although it should have been a strong man that should have done it because that more of a man thing no offensive."

Rimfire - "Uhh...Right."

Husk - "Wow. The little cat girl is a shooter. That's something different."

Rimfire - "I'm a half cat. I'm also part Fox as well."

Charlie - So Rimfire what brings you to Hell?

Rimfire - *shrugs* "I was just actually almost got attack by freaky assholes until Sonya came over and save me."

Sonya - "Yeah she came to Hell with her family a few days ago. Rimfire and I been hanging out with each other."

Charlie - "Oh that's cool! Do you live nearby?"

Rimfire - "Actually I live pretty close to here."

Vaggie - "And how did you end up in hell?

Rimfire - My family are in the poaching business. We still are. It called the Bloodworth Poach and Coach."

Vaggie - "Poach and Coach?"

Rimfire - "It's a store my family owns. My mother would sell the animal fur and meat. My dad will get the animal customers would want, and even coach them on how to hunt."

Everyone - *amazed* "Whoa."

Rimfire - *smug* "Yeah it is pretty cool. It was even like that when we were alive."

Angel - "How you and your family ended up down here?"

Rimfire - "Oh we ended up getting killed in a forest fire."

Charlie - *sympatric* "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry."

Rimfire - *shrugs* "Eh. It's life."

Charlie - "Well...Say why don't we go practice for the festival huh Sonya?

Sonya - "Actually Cousin Charlie I was thinking of just practicing with Rimfire."

Charlie - *surprised* "What?"

Rimfire - "Yeah. I mean I originally wanted to do it myself, but I figure practicing with Sonya can be fun."

Charlie - *uncomfortable* "Oh...okay yeah sure..."

Sonya - "Sweet! Thanks!"

They both went upstairs to Sonya's hotel room. Charlie frowns in sadness and confusion. Charlie didn't think her baby cousin out of all people, didn't want to hang out with her. Or do their usual traditions. Vaggie noticed that sad look on her girlfriend's face.

Vaggie - *concerned* "Charlie what's wrong?"

Charlie - "I-It just weird I mean Sonya always practices music and singing with me. She never done anything like this to me."

Angel - "Hey. She's at stage one Princess."

Charlie - "Meaning?"

Angel - "Well you know how kids are. One minute they are close to family and next they don't want to even act knowledge that they are related."

Charlie - *scared* "Wait, does this mean that Sonya and Liz wouldn't want to spend time with me anymore?"

Angel - *shrugs* "Eh. It could happen."

Vaggie - *mad* "Angel!"

Angel - *defense* "What babe? I'm just saying it's the truth."

Vaggie - "You're not helping, you idiot!"

Charlie - *scared*" Ohh I need to do something! I don't want Sonya to think I'm some lame uncool cousin."

Angel - "Who's stopping you?"

Vaggie - "Well if you are serious about this. Maybe you should talk to her."

Charlie - "Well okay."

Charlie went upstairs and began to think about what Angel said to her earlier. Even though there are sometimes Charlie thinks Angel is just being his regular silly weird self, it could be one of those time Angel could be right about some things.

Charlie - *thinking* Angel could be right. Sonya and even Liz would think of me as an uncool relative. I gotta remind her how much fun I can be and cool! Maybe if I act like how kids are today!"

Charlie then sees Sonya and Liz's hotel room. She went to the door and knocked on the door.

Sonya - "Come in."

Charlie - *acts hip* "Hey hey hey! How are my best girlfriends?"

Sonya - *contused* "Uh Okay…"

Rimfire - *confused* "Uh fine?"

Charlie - *acting hip* "So What's you guys doing? Any new hot digs on music."

Sonya - "Yeah…"

The whole thing felt very weird to Sonya and Rimfire. Especially to Sonya because she never sees Charlie act like this. Even Liz herself was confused about it. The only person they see trying to "act hip" was Sir Pentious.

Charlie - "Hey Rimfire you need to worry about me I'm not some lame regular cousin. I'm one of the cool cousins Ya know what I mean dawg?"

Sonya - *concerned and confusion* "Charlie, are you feeling okay?"

Charlie - "Oh I'm fine I'm cool as ice."

Sonya and Rimfire look at each other in confusion. They can tell something is wrong with Charlie but decide not to make a big deal about it.

Charlie - "So What are you gals doing?"

Rimfire - "Well we were busy writing some songs. But then we decide to take a break."

Sonya - Yeah. We are now just now going over dark magic stuff."

Charlie - "Ooh! Mind if I join in?"

Rimfire - "You know about dark magic stuff?"

Charlie - *smug* "Girl, you're talking to the princess of hell here. Beside What's wrong with mixing up stuff. Sometimes you gotta go insane to out sane the same. You know what I'm saying?"

Rimfire - *confused* "Actually no."

Charlie - "So where this magic stuff you two little wizs are doing?"

Sonya - "Over there."

Sonya pointed to her cauldron. It was boiling and purple smoke was coming out. Charlie took a peak and it was purple bubbling liquid.

Sonya - "Yeah we were just working on a new potion. But I wanted to tell you Cousin Charlie is-

Charlie - "Ooh! Allow me to add some spices to help take this potion high to the sky."

Charlie saw some random potions, liquid and powders on Sonya's shelves. Charlie grabs them and she starts mixing some potions up. Sonya gets worried and so was Liz cause even she knew what mixing up random potions together can do. Even Rimfire was getting a bit scared and concerned on what the princess of hell was doing.

Sonya - *scared* "Cousin Charlie Don't! You're mixing the wrong ingredients!"

Charlie - *scoff* "Relax Cuz there's nothing wrong with mixing things up."

Sonya - "But Cousin Charlie!"

Charlie - "Don't worry! What a little mixing can do?"

Then there was a loud explosion. Vaggie and the others heard it. Looking concerned, Vaggie and Angel went upstairs, and their eyes widen in shock. They saw the room all covered in purple goop and even the girls were now covered in purple goop.

Angel - *confused* "What the hell happened here? Looks like a bowl of rotten oatmeal had sex with guacamole and just have birth in this room."

Vaggie - "I'll get some mops and Niffty. You guys better get cleaned up."

()()()()()()()()

Vaggie and Niffty was cleaning up the goop in Sonya and Liz's room. Angel was even force to clean under the threat his precious pet piggy Fat Nuggets will be sleeping outside. He had to use his four arms to clean the walls and was using rags. Charlie, Sonya, and Rimfire was now clean thanks to taking a shower and now wearing some fresh clothes.

Niffty - "Don't worry! This mess will be done in no time!"

Vaggie - "I'm just glad none of you guys gotten hurt."

Charlie - "You could say that something went a little wrong right Sonya?"

Sonya was so mad that she was ignoring Charlie. This made Charlie a bit shock because Sonya never gave her the silent treatment. Rimfire even felt a little uncomfortable because of the awkwardness. Then she heard a car honk and when Rimfire look outside, she saw it was her parents' car.

Rimfire - Maybe I should head. *to Sonya* We should get rest cause we gotta sing for the pageant tomorrow."

Charlie - *surprised* "What!? Sonya, you got to accept. Why didn't you tell me?"

Sonya - *angry* I wanted to tell you Cousin Charlie, but you were too busy acting weird and crazy!

Charlie - *nervously laugh* "Oh I see."

Angel Dust - "Whoa harsh."

Vaggie - *trying to calm things down* "Okay okay let just be happy that nobody got hurt. We should get back to cleaning this mess up though."

Rimfire - "Well maybe I should head home."

Sonya - "Cousin Charlie…"

Charlie - *hopeful* "Yes?"

Sonya - *mad and serious* "I'm spending the night with Rimfire. And don't even bother coming to the pageant! You really embarrass me."

Charlie - *pleading and shocked* "Sonya Wait!"

Sonya and Rimfire left the room and Sonya slam the door. Sonya got into Rimfire's parents' car and they drove off.

Angel - "Ouch! Tough way to say I don't need ya anymore isn't it?"

Charlie looks down feeling hurt. She sighs in sadness and walked out of the room. Vaggie look mad at Angel for his insensitive comment and punched him in the arm.

Angel - *in pain* "Ow! What?!"

Vaggie - "You're such a fucking asshole!"

Vaggie left the room to go check up on Charlie.

Angel - *mad and rubs his arm* "Sheesh! Try to help people and this is the thanks I get."

()()()()()()()()()

Charlie was in her room sitting on her book feeling sad. She took out a scrapbook from her drawer and open the book. She flips a few pages and saw pictures of her and Sonya and Liz together. When they were younger, or current ages having fun, eating together, comforting each other, or just hugging. Charlie let some tears come out of her eyes and felt like she must sing on how she is feeling. She took a deep breath and began to sing.

Charlie - *singing*

In my hands a legacy of memories

I can hear you say my name

I can almost see your smile

Feel the warmth of your embrace

But there is nothing but silence now

Around the one I loved

Is this our farewell?

Sweet darling you worry too much

My child, see the sadness in your eyes

You are not alone in life

Although you might think that you are

Never thought this day would come so soon

We had no time to say goodbye

How can the world just carry on?

I feel so lost when you are not by my side

But there is nothing but silence now

Around the one I loved

Is this our farewell?

So sorry your world is tumbling down

I will watch you through these nights

Rest your head and go to sleep

Because my child this is not our farewell

This is not our farewell

Vaggie - "Charlie are you okay?"

Charlie looked up and saw Vaggie looking concerned. Charlie quickly wipe the tears from her eyes.

Charlie - "How did you find me? The hotel is pretty big."

Vaggie - "You're the only girl I know that can sing that good. I never forget your beautiful singing voice."

Charlie - *smiles* "Thanks Vaggie…" *sighs in sadness*

Vaggie - *sits next to Charlie* "Are you alright Charlie?"

Charlie - *sad* "No. My baby cousin hates me now."

Vaggie - Hey now she doesn't hate you."

Angel Dust - "She just doesn't want to speak to you again."

They turned around and saw Angel by the doorway. His lower arms were cross, and he had a bored look on his face.

Vaggie - "Where the fuck did you come from?!"

Angel - "Well babe, when a man and broad love each other they fuck each other in bed and then bam! A baby."

Vaggie - "That's not what I meant you cabrón hijo de perra! I meant why did you came here?"

Angel - "What? I can't help out my buddy the Princess of Hell here?"

Vaggie - "Well you're not helping!"

Charlie - *sighs* "I was just trying to remind her on how cool I can be."

Angel - "And that fucking bombed."

In a split second, Vaggie jumped and gave Angel a black eye. She wasn't going to sit back and let Angel make everything worst. While Charlie would have said something, she feels like she would let this one slide because right now she too focusing on fixing the mess she made with Sonya.

Angel Dust *holding his eye* - "Ow my eye!"

Vaggie - "Look Charlie, I get you don't wanna lose Sonya and Liz. But you need to realize something too: Sonya and Liz are growing up. Sure, there would be sometimes they would like to spend time with you, but there are sometimes she need to spend time with kids her age."

Those words made Charlie realize that Vaggie was right: her baby cousins are growing up and do need some friends around their age. There's nothing wrong with them growing up and she will always have a relationship with Sonya and Liz.

Charlie - "Yeah I guess you're right. Maybe I was just trying too hard."

Angel opened his mouth to speak but quickly kept his mouth shut when Vaggie showed her fists as a warning. Charlie wiped the rest of the tears away and stood up on the bed.

Charlie -First thing I'll do is go to the pageant to talk to her."

Angel - "Uh news flash babe: she told you not to come."

Charlie - "Well I'll just try to talk to her before the show starts."

Vaggie - "Where is this pageant anyway?"

Angel - "Oh I it's in a bar called Drink Till you Die. It's not far from the hotel."

Charlie - *confused* "How do you know?"

Angel - *smirks* "Inside intuition."

Vaggie - *facepalm* "Oh god. Why am I not surprised?"

Angel - *chuckles* "Relax I just had to do some dances is all."

Charlie and Vaggie just stare at him in confusion and annoyance.

Angel - "What? I also had to do some shots. And suck a lot of dick."

Charlie - "Come in! Let's go!"

()()()()()()()()()()

At the bar, the stage was all set up nicely for the music pageant. Backstage, Rimfire and Sonya was getting dress up for the pageant. Liz came out in shadow form looking mad at Sonya. Sonya took noticed at Liz looking mad and crossing her arms.

Sonya - *annoyed* "Don't start."

Liz - "So not cool what you said to Cuz Sonya."

Sonya - "Aw come on! When did you became a preaching saint? Besides, you get into trouble more than I do."

Liz - "Yeah but at least I don't make Cuz feel like crap or yell at her! You should of saw her face after you yell at her. She looks like was about to break down into tears."

Sonya - *sighs* "Do you think I was too hard on Charlie back there?"

Liz - "What do you think genius?"

Sonya sighs and starts to feel a little guilty. She was just angry that Charlie embarrassed her in front of her new and first friend she made around her age. But at the same time, Sonya realize she should of just talk to Charlie about it instead of yelling at her.

Rimfire - "Hey. What's wrong are you- *sees Liz's shadow form* Uhh...Who is that?""

Sonya - "Huh? Oh, I forgot to say that I was born a Gemini. I technically share a body with somebody. This is Liz."

Liz wave to Rimfire. Rimfire was a bit confuse but wave back to Liz.

Sonya - "I meant to tell you later, but I guess the best time is now. It just hard to tell people can they don't believe me.

Rimfire - "Well I think it's cool you have another self. I mean, it is Hell after all."

Sonya - *sad* "Thanks...You think I was too hard on my cousin Charlie?"

Rimfire - "Honestly? Yeah. I mean you usually tell me how cool your cousin is, and I was shocked that you snapped at her."

Sonya - *sighs* "I was just mad at her for embarrassing me."

Rimfire - "We all fight with our families sometimes. Even me

Sonya - *surprised* "Really? But your family seem so cool."

Rimfire - *disbelief* "You kidding? Sometimes my dad sticks his hand in a dead animal's body and moves their mouth like a puppet."

Sonya covered her mouth like she was gonna throw up. However, Liz look amaze and giggle a little thinking it was funny.

Sonya - "Oh God

Rimfire - "Exactly. My mom always showing off the fur coats like she's a model. It can get pretty annoying sometimes."

Sonya - "I'm sorry to hear that."

Rimfire - "See? Family supposed to embarrass each other because they are well, family."

Sonya - "Yeah that's true. I'm just still mad at Charlie got what she did. I never expect of her out of all people to embarrass me like that. I honestly thought it would be either my parents or her friend Angel Dust."

Rimfire - "Well as for your Cousin Charlie, maybe in a way she felt jealous of me."

Sonya - *confused* "What? Why would she be jealous of you? She's not like that."

Rimfire - "I don't know I mean based on what you told me, she was basically you and even Liz's only friend. Maybe when Charlie saw me and you wanted to practice with me than her, she probably felt jealous."

Those words strike Sonya right in the head and the heart. She didn't think of how Charlie felt about this. Sonya was just so happy she finally made a friend around her age, she forgot how Charlie would feel about this. Or even talk to her about this. Even felt awful that she didn't do their tradition of practicing and singing for the pageant.

Sonya - *guilty Now I feel bad. I shouldn't have yelled at Charlie like that.

Little did she know that Charlie was listening to time the whole time. Charlie was listening through the window and she had tears in her eyes. But these tears were more heartwarming love. She realizes despite what she did, Sonya and Liz still love her and want to make things right between each other.

Charlie - *touched* "Aw you guys heard that?"

Vaggie - *struggling* "Not really cause you're standing on us."

It shows that Vaggie and Angel was trying to hold on to Charlie while she was quietly looking through the window. Since the window was too high and figure that they would get kick out the place, they thought it would be better to look out the window.

Angel - *groaning* "Man how long are you gonna make us hold you up?! My arms are killing me!"

Vaggie - * annoyed* "You're only use two of them!"

Angel - *groaning* "Well you girls weigh a ton! You should seriously lay off the Bon bons!"

Before Vaggie can say anything, Charlie saw Sonya and Rimfire leaving the room.

Charlie - "Wait they are leaving!"

Charlie got off Vaggie, Vaggie got off Angel, and Angel began to stress his back and arms.

Angel - "You should seriously get on a diet"

Charlie - "We don't have time! Let go!"

()()()()()()()()()

Sonya and Rimfire went to the stage. They set up their guitar and just before they were about to sing, one guy said:

Guy - "Hey that was my beer!"

Guy 2 - "No it wasn't!"

Rimfire - "Hey assholes! We are about to sing here!"

Guy - "And that stupid bitch you were kissing was mine!"

Guy 2 - "I don't care!"

Guy - "You calling me a liar?!"

Then suddenly, an ugly bar fight began to break loose. Sonya and Rimfire managed to dodge some glass bottles that was being thrown. Then they managed to crawl to an abandon table so they can be safe. A demon was not only beat up but thrown out the window and landed by Charlie's feet. That when Charlie began to hear yelling and fighting inside the bar.

Charlie - *worried* "Guys, the girls are in trouble! We got to get in there now!"

They went inside the bar and saw lots of people dodging and fighting. Rimfire took out her hunting knife that was strapped to her thigh. Sonya quickly took out her spell book.

Sonya - "Ready?"

Rimfire - "Ready!"

Rimfire began to use her hunting knife. She managed to cut off some demons' arms, stab them in the eye, and in the gut. Then Sonya shouted:

Sonya - "ventum exponentia!"

Wind power came and blew some of the demons away out the bar. Charlie and the others saw this and was impressed. Even Rimfire was amaze on the spell Sonya cast.

Rimfire - "How did you do that?"

Sonya - "I spent a lot time reading these books. I learn how to use some of these spells."

Rimfire - "That's so cool."

Sonya - "Thanks!"

Sonya kept casting more spells to stop the fight. But unfortunately, one of the beer bottles was thrown and it still had beer in it. The beer bottle splatter all over her book wetting it. Now the pages were too soggy and messy to read.

Sonya - *horrified* "Oh no!"

Rimfire - *shocked* "Your book!"

While the girls were distracted, another demon threw a glass beer bottle. The beer bottle hit Rimfire in the arm much to Sonya's horror. Then another bottle was about to hit Sonya in the head, but to her's and Rimfire surprised: Charlie quickly came and ducked the girls down to a table.

Sonya - *surprised* "Cousin Charlie?"

Rimfire - *confused* "What are you doing here?"

Charlie - "Getting you and Sonya out of here!"

They all saw Vaggie and Angel was fighting some of the demons. Vaggie was using her knives and Angel was using his guns. Even though they were doing well, there was too much demons in the bar.

Sonya - *to Charlie* "There's too many of them. Should I bring out the big guns?

Charlie - *smirks* "Be my guest, baby cousin!"

Rimfire - *confused* "The big guns?"

Charlie - *smiles* "You will see."

Sonya nodded quickly. She began to quickly look around and saw a bottle shard on the floor. Sonya took a bottle shard and pricked her finger on it and passed out on the ground much to Rimfire's concerned. But before Rimfire can say anything, Liz awaken and took out her scissors and fireworks. Liz smile manically and jump on the table where Vaggie and Angel was at fighting.

Liz - "Bada boom! Time for a blood bath!"

Angel Dust - *happy* "Oh alright! My little girl buddy is here!"

Vaggie - "This is one of the few times I'm actually happy that she's here!"

Liz - "Time for a little fun!"

Angel Dust - "Knock them out, honey!"

Liz began to fight the demons in the bar fight alongside with Angel and Vaggie. Charlie was making sure Rimfire stay safe. Some were injured, some ran away in fear and others passed even before she was about to hit them. Pretty soon the bar fight was over. Liz was panting a bit exhausted from all that fighting.

Liz - *little tired* "Boy did that feel good!"

Rimfire - *impressed* "Wow. You are one crazy chick."

Angel - *smirks* "And that's why she's awesome."

()()()()()()()()()

At the hotel Charlie was checking the girls for injuries. Vaggie got out the first aid kit and Angel was cleaning up his weapons.

Charlie - *concerned* "Where does it hurt?"

Rimfire - *wince a little* "Just my arm. I think that bottle cut me."

Charlie saw the cut on Rimfire's arm. She saw how even though it was big, it wasn't deep so that was a good thing. Charlie began uses some disinfectant to clean the wounds. Vaggie was surprised that Rimfire wasn't crying or even wincing in pain as Charlie was using the disinfectant on her wound.

Vaggie - "Doesn't that hurt you?"

Rimfire - *shrug* "Eh. I felt worse."

Vaggie - "You have?"

Rimfire - "After I died in a fire. Trust me, this is nothing compare to my death."

Vaggie - "Tell me about it. *to Liz* what about you Liz? Any injuries?"

Liz - "Oh just some scratches but I'm cool. You don't need your panties up more ass Chica."

Vaggie looked annoyed as Angel giggled at Liz's comment. Then Sonya came out in shadow form telling Liz something.

Liz - "Hey Cuz! Can you do the old switcheroo? Sonya wants to talk to you."

Charlie - *smiles* "You got it."

Charlie hugs and pet her hair at the same time. Sonya is back much to Angel's dismay.

Angel - "Aw man."

Sonya - "Okay. *took a deep breath* Cousin Charlie I wanted to say I'm sorry for earlier. I was just mad and embarrassed."

Charlie - "You don't have to be sorry. It was my fault for messing up your spell...

Sonya - "But I was the one who yelled at you."

Charlie - "I know but I heard you talking, and I know you didn't mean it."

Sonya - *confused* "Wait how did you heard us talking?"

Charlie - "Yeah...I heard from the window and- "

Angel - "I had to held her's and Vaggie's fat asses!"

Vaggie punched Angel in the arm. Charlie rolled her eyes and went back to talking to her cousin.

Charlie - "I was just afraid of losing you."

Sonya - *confused* "Losing me?"

Charlie - "I was a little...jealous."

Rimfire - "Jealous of me?"

Angel - "I know it's a shocker."

Charlie - "I'm sorry girls. I mean I was just scared of losing you because of how we always spend time together. When you wanted to spend time with Rimfire it threw me off."

Sonya - *guilty* "So it's my fault." *she looks down*

Angel - "Yeah kid it's pretty much is."

Vaggie - *mad* "Angel shut up!"

Angel - "What? I'm just saying."

Charlie - "It's not her fault! I mean even before you moved to the city you didn't really have friends other than me."

Sonya - "Still, I wasn't trying to push you away. I mean Rimfire first friend my age."

Rimfire - "And you are the first friend I made since I got here."

The two hug each other for the first time. Which was a weird awkward hug.

Sonya - *uncomfortable* "This feels weird."

Rimfire - *also uncomfortable* "You mean the hug?"

Sonya - "I never hugged anyone my age."

Vaggie - "Oh sorry the pageant got ruined for you guys."

Sonya - "It's fine. I don't know why they did it in a bar this year anyway. Everybody is always drunk and stuff."

Rimfire - "There's always next year."

Charlie - *happy* "Well the hotel does have a music room."

Sonya - *perks up* "Really?"

Charlie - *nodded* "Yeah I put it there so the sinners can gain new hobbies to distract themselves from sling drugs and stuff."

Rimfire - *impressed* "That's so cool."

Charlie - "Maybe you can do a concert for us! So, we can cheer you sing."

Sonya - *perks up* "Really? You let us do that?"

Charlie - "Of course! I mean it also to make up for what happened."

Sonya - *smiles* Thanks Cousin Charlie!"

()()()()()()()()()()

Charlie opened the music room and saw how huge it was. It was the size of an opera theater room. There was red wallpaper, posters of her mother past concerts, poster of her dad singing, even some of her singing on stage as well. There were lots of tables, with cushion chairs, even a bar in its which Husk was already there drinking.

Charlie - "Man it's been a while since I came in here. Thanks for cleaning it up Niffty."

Niffty - "No problem! It was super-duper filthy, and it needed a lady's touch. Which is weird cause you guys being ladies and didn't clean it no offense."

Husk - "Explain to me again why we are in this fucking room?"

Charlie - "So we can listen to my baby cousin and her friend sing."

Angel - *flirty* "Ya know I can always do a show for you Husky."

Husk - "Fuck off!"

Sonya and Rimfire came with their instruments, and just before they got on stage, they heard a strange noise. They turned around and saw something under the table. Rimfire got out her gun, and then a little pink nose came out of the table. Turn out it was just Angel's pet piggy Fat Nuggets just sniffing around.

Rimfire - "Oh it was just a pig. He looks more like the runt of the litter. *shrugs* well looking like we are having pork chops tonight."

Just Rimfire was about shoot Fat Nuggets, Angel took the gun away from her.

Angel - "What the fuck are you doing?!"

Rimfire - "About to shoot a pig."

Angel - "This pig happened to be my pet!"

Rimfire - "You keep an animal like a pig for a pet?"

Angel - "What's that supposed to mean?"

Rimfire - "Animals are only good for food and clothes. Keeping them as pets are stupid."

Angel - *offended* "How dare you! *cooing to Fat Nuggets* it's okay baby, Daddy will always protect and love you no matter what."

He gave Fat Nuggets a hug much to Rimfire's disgust. Then Charlie said:

Charlie - "Okay Rimfire. We actually have a rule here: no one can harm anyone's pet."

Rimfire - "Rules like that are made to be broken."

Angel - *threateningly* "If you break that rule, I'll break you!"

Charlie - *nervously* "Maybe you should get on the stage now with Sonya."

As they all took their seats, Sonya and Rimfire went on stage with their guitar. They plug it in the speaker and fix the microphones. Then Sonya began to speak in it:

Sonya - "Hello! This song was originally meant to sing in the pageant. But that then turned out to be a bust."

Rimfire - "Yeah. Never do a music pageant in a bar."

Sonya - "Agreed. This song Rimfire, Liz and I wrote is for my awesome best friend and cousin: Charlie. Who was always there for me and Liz no matter how bad things get? This is for you cousin Charlie."

Sonya and Rimfire began to play their guitar and they sing:

In Hell there's one moving light that's glowing

Just like a star

Then she keeps on going

The whole place need that hope

People think she's weak but she's tough

You don't want to mess with her when you cross the line

Inside she has that light, she's tough

Her heart whispers do it now

The light comes out and shout out I'm going to do that vow

Oh Charlie, don't you worry

These are bumps you are going to through

Some day you will know what to do.

Oh Charlie, it's alright

Doesn't matter what you do

Just keep on going because I believe in you.

She's ready to roll

Tonight, is different

She'll show some hope but start it off slow

Oh no oh no

Some stupid assholes try to let her down

But she makes the show keep going on

She's not done she will keep on until the end of dawn. Her heart whispers do it now

The light comes out and shout out I'm going to do that vow

Oh Charlie, don't you worry

These are bumps you are going to through

Some day you will know what to do.

Oh Charlie, it's alright

Doesn't matter what you do

Just keep on going because I believe in you.

Her plans are on right now

And she's going to sing amazing songs

Her plans are never going to end and don't care if it takes long.

Oh Charlie, don't you worry

These are bumps you are going to through

Someday you will know what to do.

Oh Charlie, it's alright

Doesn't matter what you do

Just keep on going because I believe in you.

They finished the song and saw how Vaggie, and e others was cheering. Even Husk was impressed on how well the girls sang. Then suddenly, Sonya was grab by Charlie in a big hug. Tears of joy was flowing down Charlie's face because not only she loves the song, but how much her baby cousin mean to her. Sonya and even Liz in shadow form hugged back because they know no matter how many time Charlie will embarrass them; they will always love her no matter what.

Hope you all like it!

[p-artsypants]

Longest Night (38) Disobeying

So, I mentioned this on my Tumblr, but I guess some people didn’t see it, and left some pretty rude comments on the last chapter. While the world is in quarantine, that doesn’t mean I have tons of free time. I am working full-time remotely, and even more hours than normal. So don’t demand more of me because ‘I have nothing better to do’. Trust me, I’d love to write more.

For those of you who are always very patient and kind: Thank you, my little angels. I write for you and you only.

Ao3 | FF.net

—

“How are you today, Adrien?” Dr. Boucher asked.

‘Much better!’ Past Adrien would have said, considering he was off the ventilator. But today’s Adrien was much less enthused. He just laid there, staring at the doctor, before flicking his gaze to stare at the wall.

“The good news is, you can drink as much water as you’d like. We’d actually prefer if you drink as much as you can.” The doctor set the styrofoam cup down on the side table.

To Gabriel’s dismay, this also didn’t get a response from the boy. Adrien was listless, hollow, and a dull husk of his old vibrant self.

“So, since we’ve got you off the ventilator, I’m going to check something. We’ll sit you up, and then we’re going to perform a Laryngoscopy on you.”

Adrien at least looked at the doctor at this point.

“It’s a pretty painless procedure. From what I observed from the stream, I believe you may have developed vocal nodules. They’re little calluses that form on the vocal cords and cause the voice to became horse and raspy, as well as neck pain and exhaustion. Though I’m sure you’re exhausted for other reasons too.” He grinned. “So what we’ll do is, we’re going to fish a small camera in your nose down the back of your throat to look at the vocal cords. We’ll keep you awake for it. If you do have vocal nodules, we can perform surgery on them, depending on how big they are. Does that sound okay?”

Adrien didn’t answer. They were going to do whatever to him anyway, why would he have to consent to anything?

“Let’s just take a look first and see what we can do.”

Adrien really was a model patient. He did exactly as he was told during the exam, and even made some noise to move his vocal cords.

“Yep,” said the doctor. “He’s got a pair of matching ones. Big. These will have to be removed before he’s able to talk normally again.”

“Is that why he’s not talking now?”

“Could be. They are painful. But it can also be a psychological problem. Only Adrien has the answer. I’m sure he’ll communicate eventually, though patience is the best medicine for him right now.”

Adrien rolled his eyes at the conversation. Gabriel was never known for his patience before, especially when it came to him. Why would he start now?

Dr. Boucher fished the endoscope out, and let Adrien relax. “Great job, Adrien. That didn’t hurt too bad, did it?”

He shook his head.

“That’s a good boy.” He rubbed his hair.

The rest of the day passed slowly and in boredom. There was no TV in his room, and Gabriel hadn’t let him have a phone or tablet to look online. So he spent his time passing in and out of restless sleep.

The clock on the wall showed it to be around seven when Gabriel stood and stretched. “Son,” he stated, waking him a little more. “I’m going to go home tonight. I’m really happy with the progress you’re making, and I’m confident enough I can leave you in the doctors care until I return in the morning.”

He could have just left. Either way, Adrien didn’t really care.

Gabriel held the ring up in front of him, pinching it between his fingers. “Now, I’m going to leave this with you. Because it rightfully belongs to you. But you have to promise me you won’t use it.”

Adrien reached for it.

But Gabriel pulled it away. “Promise me.”

With a sigh, Adrien nodded, and held out his hand patiently.

Considering it good enough, Gabriel dropped the ring back into his hand.

“Ahhhhhhh!” Plagg stretched from where he had been sleeping on Adrien’s stomach. “It’s good to be back where I belong!”

“You can feel through the ring?” Gabriel asked, astonished.

“It’s a spiritual thing,” the cat drawled, nuzzling against Adrien’s hand. “You wouldn’t understand.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “No, I suppose not. Adrien, I’ll bring you some pajamas in the morning so you can change out of the gown.”

Adrien didn’t bother responding. Instead, he slid the ring on his finger, watching as it shrank to adapt to the weight loss.

He hadn’t noticed how naked he felt without the ring on. But having it back felt like a piece of him was falling back into place.

Just right.

Gently, he rubbed his thumb over the band and just savored the feeling of having control back in his hands. He closed his eyes, and just reveled.

Plagg watched this with concern and a touch of curiosity as the hours passed. Adrien’s eyes twitched, and his brow creased in concentration. He remained this way long after the nurse came and turned off the light to sleep.

He wasn’t just admiring the feeling of the ring, he was thinking.

But the moment Plagg realized what he was thinking about, by then it was too late.

“Kid, you prom—!” Was all he could say before being sucked into the ring.

Like a drug addict finally getting a fix after being sober for days on end, the power rushed over Adrien and filled him with strength and adrenaline. The pain waned, and his focus sharped razor sharp. All his cords and tubes became disconnected and alarms started blaring.

He flung the sheets off of him, and rolled onto the floor, lacking the finesse to slide and stand. The police standing guard were already coming in the room, begging him to drop his transformation.

But Chat Noir refused, withdrawing his baton from behind his back. He let the staff do the work, extending it to hit one man in the balls, and the other in the jaw. Then, with a little work, he was up on his feet and staggering passed the guards.

Though gifted with superhuman strength, his body wasn’t used to moving. He shuffled and wobbled down the hall, frustrated with his own body for not working properly.

“Chat Noir?” A nurse asked in horror.

He hissed at her.

“Chat Noir!” She shrieked. “Wait!” Then she bit her tongue as she remembered training. She held her hands out at her sides, palm up. “Hey, it’s okay. Relax. What do you need? What can I do to help you?”

He shrieked at her, his voice cracking painfully.

“My name is Sam, okay Adrien?” She took a careful step forward as several staff members approached quietly from behind, intent on subduing him. “Do you want to see Ladybug? We can make that happen, okay? Let’s just get you a wheelchair, and you can transform—“

He shook his head violently. He was done waiting. ‘Oh you’ll see her soon’ they said ‘just wait a little longer’ they said. Well, he waited. And no one was letting him see her. He was sick of it. He extended the baton to knock her in the stomach.

“Move!” Someone shouted from behind, before a pair of arms hooked under his arms and pulled backwards. He was pulled off balance, but managed to stomp the person’s toes to let him go.

“Someone prepare 2 mg of lorazepam, we’re going to need to administer it the second we subdue him!”

But Chat wasn’t about to let that happen. He broke into a run, the best he could, and took off down the hall.

He had no idea where he was going, but looked into every room he passed, catching the attention of a lot of staff members.

It became a hospital wide game of tag.

Chat really didn’t want to hurt anyone, but if they were standing in his way, he was using force. At one point, he had gotten pinned by two robust men while a female nurse prepared to administer the sedative. He thrashed wildly, getting one arm free to scratch the woman in the face. One of the men attempted to recover the dropped syringe, only to loosen his hold on Chat, who then wriggled himself free and threw the other man off of him.

“Someone get John! He plays flag football on the weekends!”

“John’s off today!”

“Son of a bitch!”

As the chase went on, Chat grew more and more frantic and feral. He hissed at patients and staff alike, his eyes darting out and around, trying desperately to find a clue to his lady.

Then a little mousey nurse stood in front of him at the end of the hall. She looked shocked to see him barreling towards her, and froze like a deer in the headlights.

If Chat had to run her over, so be it. He wasn’t stopping.

Coming out of her shock, the little nurse held up her hands and shouted at him. “Third floor, room 308!”

As he came upon her, he grasped her by the shoulders and spun her out of the way, unharmed.

Just beyond her were the elevators, and he sprinted in one as the door was closing.

Inside, there was already a passenger, an old man with a bouquet of flowers. “Would you mind hitting the button for the fifth floor? My eyes aren’t what they used to be.”

As Chat heaved a breath from his sprint, he looked curiously at the man, and then hit the button as the man asked, as well as his own.

At the third floor, he was off in a sprint again. Counting down the room numbers until he reached the end of the hall. The police officers standing guard should have been a clear sign.

“Chat Noir, we can’t let you in.” One said firmly.

He hissed in response.

“Did you say Chat Noir?” Marinette’s sweet voice called from inside the room.

His ears dropped and his eyes dilated. Chat trembled and walked forward, ignoring the protests of the officers. Vaguely, he heard Tom talking to them, reasoning with them to leave him be.

But none of that mattered now, because she was here. His lady.

Like seeing the sun finally rise, or taking the first breath of clean air, Chat felt goosebumps settle down his spine as his body relaxed. A hand settled on his back to keep him steady, but his legs still wobbled.

She was so beautiful. Unbathed, bruised, and crusty, but still so beautiful. Those bluebell eyes that remained unchanged, and bored into him with a passion. It set the tips of his fingers tingling with the ache to have her, to touch her.

It was only a second as Marinette digested what she was seeing as real, before she flung her sheets off and hurried to him.

Her steps were weak and wobbly, and she almost fell. But she reached him, just as he started to slide to the floor. Her arms hooked under his and they dropped to the ground.

“Kitty…” she breathed.

In a voice so quiet it was barely audible, Adrien released his transformation. Once the strength was gone, he hissed in pain, and curled closer to her.

“Rebuke him,” Plagg huffed. “He promised he wouldn’t transform, and the second he was clear, he went ahead and did it.”

Marinette raised a hand to his head and brushed back his bangs back to kiss him. “My sweet, reckless kitty.”

He closed his eyes, exhausted from his excursion. But now he could rest, because he was with her.  

Marinette leaned her forehead against his, soaking in his warmth. Oh how she missed him. His touch filled her soul with a quiet calmness she hadn’t felt since that final night in the catacombs. Back then, she was holding him as he was dying, but now?

Now he was living. And it felt so right.

There was a clamor at the door as several staff members finally caught up to him.

“He just wants to be with Marinette,” Tom explained. “We can’t separate them.”

“Did someone tell Dr. Boucher Adrien escaped?”

“He went home for the night, but I’ll call him.”

Now that no one was trying to tackle him and tranquilize him, Adrien actually allowed a smile to grace his face.

“That can’t be comfortable down there,” said Tom, knelling. “Let’s get you kiddos on the bed, hm?”

Adrien didn’t fight the man. He was right, it was extremely uncomfortable on the floor.

Tom and another nurse helped them stand, and then sit on the bed, only for Adrien to lean on Marinette. In turn, she raked her nails over his scalp, eliciting a purr from his chest.

The doctor who had left to make the call to Dr. Boucher returned. “Dr. Boucher will be back in a little bit. But he said it’s best if we move Adrien’s bed up here.”

“Is he stable enough for that?”

“Doesn’t matter if he’s going to run away every chance he gets. Dr.  Boucher says it’ll be alright since he’s off of a ventilator now. He and Marinette have a team assigned to them specifically anyways.” The doctor came to Adrien and touched his knee. “Alright, you got what you wanted. You get to stay with Ladybug. But please, on behalf of the staff here, Don’t. Do that. Again.”

He rolled his eyes, but understood.

“Seriously Mr. Agreste,” The doctor continued. “Protocol demands that if patients show excessive violence towards staff, we are to put them in seclusion. I don’t want to do that to you. Especially after everything you’ve been through. So this is the only warning I’m giving you.”

Oh, seclusion didn’t sound fun. So he nodded in agreement.

“Good. I have to get back to my patients, but your team will be bringing the bed and equipment up soon. Please try not to move.” He sighed, and left the room.

Tom rubbed Adrien’s head. “You crazy kid.” There was no rebuking, no scolding or judgement, though he deserved it. Tom just didn’t see the point in it.

Before too long, a pair of nurses moved his bed into the room, moving Marinette over to make room. Then they moved Adrien into bed. “Don’t get too comfortable,” said one. “Dr. Boucher is going to need to examine you, and you’ll probably have your drains and catheter replaced.”

Adrien grunted in protest.

They had him lean on his side to check his stitches all the way down his back to his calves. “Despite your little stunt, your sutures look to be in good shape. I don’t see any pulls or tears.”

Finally, Dr. Boucher arrived, dressed in casual clothes. “Adrien, you teleported!”

Adrien hunched his shoulders slightly in shame.

“Dr. Kranken told me he gave you a thorough scolding, so I’ll skip that part. Instead, I’ll just check your wounds and make sure you didn’t add any time to your recovery.”

“His stitches look good,” said a nurse.

“Good, good. That’s the thing we are most concerned about.” He studied the labyrinth of stitches that made up Adrien’s back, prodding and poking as he went. “Sorry, I know this is so uncomfortable. But loose stitches can mean infection and infection with a skin graft like this can lead to necrosis or MRSA.”

“What’s that?” Asked Marinette.

“Necrosis is dead flesh. When the graft has poor blood supply, the skin will turn black and fall off. MRSA is a flesh eating bacteria, which can then lead to necrosis. So it’s very very important that you both follow our instructions.” Then he said a little quieter. “And stop freaking transforming into superheroes.”

Okay, the threat of turning into a zombie with flesh eating bacteria was a little more persuading than just “it’s not good for you.”

“Let’s see here...when you transformed, you forced your drains out, so that has to all be redone. And...” he held his arm out, inspecting the inside of his elbow. “And removing the IV the way you did blew out the vein. So we’ll have to wait until it heals before we can insert another one in this arm.” He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration and a little in exhaustion. “Alright, we’re going to get you settled in here. Please promise me you’re not going to pull anymore stunts, huh? At least not tonight. My wife and son had to pause the movie.”

Adrien looked over to Marinette meaningfully, and then back to the doctor.

“I’ll make sure everyone knows not to move you from this room.” Then he looked at Marinette. “How are you feeling, darling? Anything new? Any symptoms that we talked about?”

“I have another headache. It’s not that bad though.”

“The nurse gave her some ibuprofen at 6:00.” Sabine added.

Dr. Boucher checked his watch. “I’ll let them know you can have some more in an hour. Think you can last that long?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“Good,” he breathed. “Then Adrien, let’s get you some tubes.”

Adrien growled.

—

In the morning, Gabriel Agreste arrived at the hospital with a duffel bag over his arm. As he went on his way to ICU, he was stopped by a receptionist.

“Oh, Mr. Agreste?”

He halted, “yes?”

“Adrien was moved to Marinette’s room last night.”

“Last night? I thought he was still a few days away from being moved?”

“He was, but there was...an incident last night.”

Gabriel heaved a disappointed sigh, knowing exactly what happened. “Thank you,” he muttered out as he passed.

Upstairs, Gabriel stormed into the room, to find his son half awake, and looking at Marinette.

Then his gaze shifted to his father.

He had the gaul to look sheepish.

“I’m disappointed in you.” Gabriel shook his head. “You promised me.”

Adrien looked away, towards Marinette. Perhaps for reassurance.

“How am I suppose to trust you, if the first thing you do is disobey me?”

“Gabriel,” Sabine snapped. “He’s already been chastised. He knows what he did was wrong.”

“Does he? Does he know that he was being selfish and stupid?”

“You can’t get mad at him for being irrational.” Sabine stated, calm as she could.

“Irrational? My son doesn’t do irrational! Dramatic, yes. Emotional, yes. But not irrational. He knows better. And he knows how his behavior reflects on me.”

Sabine balled up a fist. “Have you ever seen Bambi?”

“What? What does that have to do with this?”

“Have you seen it?” Her voice took an edge.

“Yes?”

“Do you remember the little bunny? Thumper?”

“What about him?”

“He has this line: ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.’”

He huffed. “Excuse me? Are you trying to use the philosophy of a child’s movie on me?”

“If you insist on acting like a child, then yes. I will.”

Adrien and Marinette watched with concern as the argument escalated, the insults being tossed back and forth like a volley at a tennis match.

“Childish? Trying to raise my child is childish?! Sabine, he’s dangerous! To himself and other people!”

“That’s a real joke coming from you.”

“As if I had anything to do with this!”

“Keep running your mouth, and I’ll tell them what you did!” Her voice escalated. “And trust!? Really?! You can’t trust him, but you expect him to trust you!?”

He sneered at her. “Sabine, I didn’t say a word when your child recklessly transformed. I’m not trying to tell you how to raise your child, so don’t try to tell me how to raise mine!”

Tom stood from where he was sitting. Not a man to be prone to a temper unless it had to do with his daughter, he had let his wife duke it out with Gabriel. But this left him alone to notice the first of the tears.

He hurried over to Adrien, and very carefully embraced him into a hug.

“What are you doing?! Don’t touch him!”

Tom ignored him and petted the top of Adrien’s head. “Hey son, it’s okay. It’s okay, he’s just scared. It’s okay.”

Son.

Adrien relaxed into Tom’s hold, feeling safe and secure.

“Don’t coddle him! This behavior is appalling!”

“That’s enough.” Plagg’s voice boomed, shaking the room with a slight tremor. Everyone went silent as the kwami approached Gabriel. “You took five steps forward and six steps back, you low life.”

“Now you’re going to lecture me too?”

“No, Gabriel. I don’t lecture. I threaten. I will constantly give you second chances, only for Adrien’s benefit. But if you keep treating him like this, getting rid of you will be to his benefit. Do I make myself clear?”

Gabriel breathed slowly. “I understand.”

“Gabriel,” Sabine spoke firmly, but more gentle than she just had. “Don’t you remember what Dr. Boucher said? We won’t recognize our children. Maybe irrational is what Adrien is now. You need to learn that, and accept it. The sooner you do, the sooner that will stop.”

“Salo talked to him like that,” Marinette spoke. Her hands fisted the blankets. “She belittled us. Told us we were a disappointment. That we were wrong. We were bad.”

She swallowed harshly, tears pricking at her eyes. “If…if the first decisions we were able to make for ourselves were bad…maybe she was right.”

“Oh honey no…” Sabine breathed.

“Gabriel, you shit-stain, you tell them right this instant that didn’t mean it!” Plagg yowled.

Gabriel shook his head and came to stand between the two beds. He reached out both hands to touch them. “I’m sorry.”

Plagg was kind of speechless. He didn’t think that would actually work.

“I gave Adrien his ring back. I knew he wouldn’t be able to handle the temptation…I’m more disappointed in myself for being optimistic.”

Marinette snapped her hand away from him. “Only you could make an apology sound so condescending.”

He pinched his nose. “You know what? I think I’m just going to leave. I’ll listen to that rabbit and keep my mouth shut. Apparently, I’m the bad guy here.”

“You are.” Sabine reminded. “So get it together.”

Gabriel dropped the duffle bag onto a chair and left, taking the coldness of the room with him.    

[theculturedmarxist]

Yves here. Reader IM Doc, an internal medicine practitioner of 30 years, trained and worked in one of the top teaching hospitals in the US for most of his career before moving to a rural hospital in an affluent pocket of Flyover. He has been giving commentary from the front lines of the pandemic. Along with current and former colleagues, he is troubled by the PR-flier-level information presented to the public about the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines, at least prior to the release of an article in the New England Journal of Medicine on the Pfizer vaccine: Safety and Efficacy of the BNT162b2 mRNA Covid-19 Vaccine. However, he did not find the study to be reassuring. He has taken the trouble of writing up his reservations after discussing the article with his group of nine physicians that meets regularly to sanity check concerns and discuss the impact that articles will have on their practices.

By IM Doc, a internal medicine doctor working in a rural hospital in the heartlands

Right off the bat – I am as weary and concerned about this pandemic as anyone. What my little rural area has been through in the past three weeks or so has been nothing short of harrowing. This virus has the ability to render patients about as sick as I have ever seen in my life, while leaving more than half the population with minimal if any symptoms. The patients who are sick are often very sick. And instead of slow and steady improvement like we normally experience, most of these patients are assigned to a long and hard slog. Multiple complications arise. This leads to very diminished throughput in the hospital. The patients literally stack up and we have nowhere to put the new ones coming in who themselves will be there for days or weeks. On top of that are the constant donning and doffing of PPE and intense emotional experiences for the staff, who are themselves becoming patients or in this small town have grandma or Aunt Gertrude as a patient.

To put it bluntly, I want this pandemic over. And now. But I do not want an equal or even worse problem added onto the tragedy. And that is my greatest fear right now. And medical history has demonstrated conclusively over and over again: brash, poorly-thought-out, emotion-laden decisions regarding interventions in a time of crisis can exponentially increase the scale of pain and lead to even worse disasters.

I am not an anti-vaxxer. I have given tens of thousands of safe and tested vaccines over my lifetime. I am very familiar with side effects and safety problems associated with all of them. That is why I can administer them with confidence. I am also an optimist, so all of the cautions I discuss below are the result of experience and the information made public about the Pfizer vaccine, not a temperamental predisposition to see the glass as half empty.

I know this piece is long, but I wanted to completely dissect the landmark New England Journal of Medicine (from now on NEJM) publication of the first Pfizer vaccine paper. I am replicating the method of my mentor in Internal Medicine, a tall figure in 20th Century medicine. He was an internationally recognized authority and his name is on one of the foundational textbooks in his specialty. He was a master and he taught me very well, including the fundamentals of scientific inquiry and philosophy, telltale signs of sloppy or dishonest work, the order in which you should dissect someone’s work, and the statistics involved.

When I have a new medical student doing rotations with me, I give them a collection of reading. At the very top is Drug Companies & Doctors: A Story of Corruption from the New York Review of Books in 2009 by Marcia Angell, MD. She was the editor-in-chief of the NEJM, the very journal that published this Pfizer vaccine paper.

Dr. Angell’s article is the Cliffs Notes version of much longer discussions she had about corruption, corporatism, managerialism, profiteering, greed, and deception in in the medical profession. Patient care and patient concerns and indeed patient lives in her mind have been absolutely overcome by all of these other things. It is a landmark paper, and should be read by anyone who is going to interact with the medical community, because alas, this is the way it is now. I view this paper the exact same way I view Eisenhower’s speech about the military industrial complex. What she said is exactly true, and has only become orders of magnitude worse since 2009.

And now the paper.

Unfortunately, this study from Pfizer in the latest NEJM, and indeed this whole vaccine rollout, are case studies in the pathology Agnell described. There are more red flags in this paper and related events than present on any May Day in downtown Beijing. Yet all anyone hears from our media, our medical elites, and our politicians are loud hosannas and complete unquestioning acceptance of this new technique. And lately, ridicule and spite for anyone who dares to raise questions.

I have learned over thirty years as a primary care provider that Big Pharma deserves nothing from me but complete and total skepticism and the assumption that anything they put forth is pure deception until proven otherwise. Why so harsh? Well, to put it bluntly, Big Pharma has covered my psyche with 30 years of scars:

• As a very young doctor, I treated an extraordinary middle-aged woman who had contracted polio as a toddler from a poorly tested polio vaccine rolled out in an “emergency.” Tens of thousands of American kids shared her fate1 • The eight patients I took care of until they died from congestive heart failure that had been induced by a diabetes drug called Actos. The drug company knew full well heart failure was a risk during their trials. When it became obvious after the rollout, they did everything they could to obfuscate. Actos now carries a black box warning about increased risk of heart failure • The three women who I took care of who had been made widows as their husbands died of completely unexpected heart attacks while on Vioxx. I have no proof the Vioxx did this. But when Vioxx was finally removed from the market, the mortality rate in the US fell that year by a measurable amount, inconsistent with recent trends and forecasts. Merck knew from their trials that Vioxx had a significant risk of cardiovascular events and stroke, and did absolutely nothing to relay that danger in any way. Worse, they did everything they could to muddle information and evade responsibility once the truth started to come out • The dozens upon dozens of twenty and thirty-something patients who have been rendered emotional and spiritual zombies by the SSRIs, antipsychotics and amphetamines they have been taking since childhood. Their brain never learned what emotions were, much less how to process them and we are left with empty husks where people never developed. The SSRIs and antipsychotics were NEVER approved for anyone under 18. EVER. While there are some validated uses for stimulants in children, they are obviously overprescribed, as confirmed by long-standing media reports of their routine use as a study/performance aid. It is all about the lucre. • The hundreds and hundreds of 40-60 year olds who have been hollowed out from the legal prescribing of opioids. All the while the docs were resisting this assault, the drug companies and the paid-off academics and medical elites were changing the rules to make physicians who did not treat any pain at all with opiates into evil Satan-worshippers. And they paid for media appearances to drive across the point: OPIATES ARE GOOD. WE HAVE MADE THEM SO YOU CANNOT GET ADDICTED. And here we are now with entire states taking more opioids than in the waning days of the Chinese Empire, and we all know how that story ended. All this misery so a family of billionaires can laugh its way to the bank.

I carry all these people and more with me daily. I would not be doing a service to their memory if I allowed myself to be duped into writing another blind prescription that was going to add yet another scar.

I will dissect the important parts of this paper exactly as my mentor described above taught me. He performed years of seminal research. He was a nationally-known expert in his field.

In medicine, especially in top-tier journals like NEJM, landmark papers are always accompanied by an editorial. These editorials are written by a national expert who almost always has “peer-reviewed” the source material as well. This is how the reader knows that an expert in the field has looked over the source material and that it supports the conclusions in the paper. My mentor did this all the time. The binders all over his office were the actual underlying data that he scrutinized to confirm the findings. There is no way on earth to print and publish the voluminous source material. Editorial review was one sure way all to assure that someone independent, with appropriate experience, confirmed the findings. This was onerous work, but he and thousands of others did it because this is the very essence of science. He was scrupulous in his editorials about findings, problems, and conclusions. It was after all his reputation as well.

My first lesson from him: READ THE EDITORIAL FIRST. It gets the problems in your head before you read the statistics and methods, etc. in the actual paper. It gives you the context of the study in history. It often includes a vigorous discussion of why the study is important.

Admittedly, over the past generation, as the corporatism and dollar-counting has taken over my profession and its ethics, this function of editorial authoring has become at times increasingly bizarre and too-obviously predisposed to conclude with glad tidings of joy, especially if pharmaceuticals are involved.

So I read the editorial first. You can find it on the NEJM webpage, in the top right corner.

And, amazingly, it is basically a recitation of the same whiz-bang Pfizer puffery that we have all been reading for the past few weeks. There really is not much new. Furthermore, it is filled with words like “triumph” and “dramatic success”. Those accolades have yet to be earned. This vaccine has not yet even been released. Surely, “triumph” is a bit premature. Those words would NEVER have been used by my mentor or similar researchers in his generation. They would have been focused on the good, the bad and the ugly. A generation ago, editorial reviewers saw their job as informing the reader and making certain the clinicians that were reading knew of any limitations or problems.

In quite frankly unprecedented fashion, two different events that were carefully reported occurred almost simultaneously with the release of both the paper and the editorial. Both of these events contradict and contravene data and conclusions reported in both the paper and the editorial and I believe they deserve immediate attention. They both belie the assertions of the editorial writers that [emphasis mine] “the (safety) pattern appears to be similar to that of other viral vaccines and does not arouse specific concern”.

First, a critical issue for any clinician is “exclusion criteria”. This refers in general to groups of subjects that were not allowed into the trial prima facie. Common examples would include over 70, patients on chemotherapy and other immunosuppressed patients, children, diabetics, etc.. This issue is important because I do not want to give my patient this vaccine (available apparently next week) to any patient that is in an excluded group. Those patients really ought to wait until more information is available – FOR THEIR OWN SAFETY. And not to mention, exclusion criteria exist because the subjects in them are usually considered more vulnerable to mayhem than average subjects. From my reading of this paper, and the accompanying editorial, one would assume there were no exclusion criteria. They certainly are never mentioned.

I reiterate, the paper is silent on this question of exclusion criteria, as is the editorial. Had my mentor seen something like “exclusion criteria” in the source material, and realized that it was not in the final paper, he would have absolutely included a notice in his editorial. This would have been after calling the principal investigator and directly questioning why there was no mention in the original paper. Patient safety should be foremost on everyone’s mind at all times in clinical research and its presentation to practitioners.

And now we know there were exclusion criteria, not because of anything Pfizer, the investigators, or the NEJM did but because of stunning news out of the UK. UPDATE: I will address this at greater length, but an alert reader did find the study protocol, which were not referenced in any way that any of the nine members in my review group could find, nor were they mentioned in the text of paper or editorial, as one would expect for a medication intended for the public at large. I apologize for the oversight, but this information was not easy to find from the article, not mentioned or linked to from the text of the article, the text of the editorial, in the “Figures/Media,” or in a supplemental document.

In the UK on day 1 of the rollout, two nurses with severe allergies experienced anaphylaxis, a life-threatening reaction to this vaccine. Only after world-wide coverage did Pfizer admit that there was an exclusion criterion for severe allergies in their study.

Ummm, Pfizer, since we are now getting ready to give this to possibly millions of people in the next few weeks – ARE THERE ANY OTHER EXCLUSION CRITERIA? Should I, as a physician, specifically not be giving this to patients with conditions that you have excluded?

Furthermore, NEJM, since you published this trial, have you bothered to at least put a correction on this trial on your website that it should NOT be given to people with severe allergies? I certainly see nothing like this.

Should someone from the NEJM or the FDA be all over Pfizer to ascertain the existence of other exclusion groups so we do not accidentally harm or kill someone over the next two weeks?

Unfortunately, Americans, you have your answer from the FDA about severe allergic reactions right from a press conference in which Dr. Peter Marks, the director of FDA’s Center for Biologics Evaluation and Research is quoted as saying:

Even people who’ve had a severe allergic reaction to food or to something in the environment in the past should be OK to get the shot….1.6% of the population has had a severe allergic reaction to a food or something in the environment. We would really not like to have that many people not be able to receive the vaccine.

Are you serious? Dr. Marks, have you ever seen an anaphylactic reaction? I live in a very rural area. Many patients live 30 minutes or more from the hospital. What if one of them had an anaphylactic reaction to this vaccine hours after administration, had no epi-pen and had to travel a half hour to get to the nearest hospital? There is a very high likelihood that a good outcome would not occur. Sometimes, as a physician, I simply cannot believe what I am hearing out of the mouths of our so-called medical leaders.

To the writers of the editorial accompanying this research:

Did you actually look at the source material? The existence of at least one exclusion criterion for severe allergic reactions had to be in there somewhere. If you did look at the source material, are there others that the physicians of America need to know about? If they were not in the source material, after the events in the UK, has anyone bothered to follow up with Pfizer about this omission?

Does anyone at NEJM or Pfizer or FDA plan to fully inform the physicians of America? Does ANYONE at NEJM or Pfizer or FDA care about patient safety?

Now for the second story that got my attention this week, an article from JAMA Internal Medicine, a subsidiary of JAMA, The Journal of the American Medical Association.

JAMA, like NEJM, is one of America’s landmark medical journals. I will assure you that JAMA is not the National Enquirer. This piece was written by a nursing researcher. It is very likely she is well-versed in all aspects of American medical research.

In her story, she details her recruitment and her experience in the Pfizer COVID trial, the same one we are dissecting here. She describes in detail her experience with the vaccine and the fact that she is concerned that many patients are likely going to feel very sick after the injection. She wrote up her own reactions, and included a very troubling one. About 15 hours after her second injection, she developed a fever of 104.9. She explained that she called her reaction to the Research Nurse promptly the next morning. The recounted the response of the Research Nurse to her information as “A lot of people have reactions after the second injection. Keep monitoring your symptoms and call us if anything changes.”

Thankfully, it appears this nurse has completely recovered. From the best I can tell, this encounter occurred in late August and early September, putting it well within the trial’s recruitment of arms as detailed in the paper.

This JAMA article impinges directly on Figure 2 on page 7 of the paper, a graphic that that lays out all the major side effects during in the trial.

It is very important to note that based on the trial’s own data, conveniently laid out on the very top of the figure in green, blue, orange and red, a temperature of 104.9F or 40.5 C is described as a Grade 4 event. The definition of a Grade 4 event is anything that is life-threatening or disabling. A fever of 104.9 can have grave consequences for any adult and is absolutely a Grade 4 event.

By law, a grade 4 event must immediately be reported to the FDA, and to the Institutional Review Board (the entity charged with overseeing the safety of the subjects) and to the original investigators. THERE IS NO EXCEPTION. One would think that would also be reported in the research paper to at least alert clinicians to be on the lookout.

I could not find any mention of this event in the text of the paper. NOT ONE. Let’s take a closer look at Figure 2 on page 7 where adverse events are reported in a table form. Please note: this is a very busy image, and in the browser version, with very low resolution graphics that are profoundly difficult to read (they are a bit clearer if you download the PDF). This is a time-tested pharmaceutical company tactic to obscure findings that they do not want you to see. My mentor warned me about ruses like these years ago, and finding one raises the possibility that deception is in play.

The area for the reporting of this Grade 4 reaction would be on the 2nd row down at the left of the set called B, titled systemic events and use of medication. The area of concern would be where the graph is marked with the number 16. Do you see a red line there? It would be at the very top. I have blown this up 4 times on my computer and see no red there. I am left to assume that this Grade 4 “Life Threatening or Disabling” event that was clearly within the time parameters of this trial was not reported in this study.

To those who say that I am making way too much out of one patient with a severe fever, let’s do a little math. There are 37,706 participants in the “Main Safety Population” (from Table 1), of which 18.860 received the vaccine.2 Let us assume that this individual was the only one that had a GRADE 4 reaction. Let us also assume that the end goal is to vaccinate every American a total of 330,000,000 people. So if we extrapolate this 1 out of 18,860 into all 330,000,000 of us, it suggest that roughly 17,500 could have this kind of fever. Now assume a 70% vaccination rate, and you get that would be approximately 12,250. I hope you now understand that in clinical medicine related to trials like this – a whole lot of nothing can turn into a whole lot of something quickly when you extrapolate to the entire targeted group. Does anyone not think that the clinicians of America should be prepared for anything like this that may be coming?

A couple more questions for NEJM and the editorial writers:

Were you ever made aware that this Grade 4 reaction occurred? Now that we have a reliable report that it occurred, has there been any attempt to investigate?

Did the Research Nurse actually report this event? If not, was she just simply not trained or was there deliberate efforts to conceal such reactions? How many more reactions were reported anywhere this trial was conducted and that did not make it to the FDA, the IRB or possibly the investigators? Is that not a cause for concern?

As if this is not enough, there is so much more wrong with this editorial. Now we are going to talk about corruption.

I want to reiterate my concern that over the past generation, as my profession has lost its way, its medical journals have turned into cheering sections for Big Pharma rather than referees and safety monitors. We all should relish the great things medical science is doing, but we should be doing EVERYTHING we can to minimize injury and death. Too often our journals have become enablers of Big Pharma deceiving our physicians and the public. Unfortunately, this paper and its editorial look troublingly like a case study of this development.

To provide context, I looked over the last month of the NEJM, the issues from November 12, 19 and 26th and December 3rd. Based on having read the NEJM over the years, I believe these four weeks are representative.

During this period, there were 15 original articles published in the fields of Oncology, General Surgery, Infectious Disease, Endocrinology, Renal, Cardiology, Pulmonary and Ear Nose & Throat. Of these 15 articles, the editors thought that eight were important enough to have an editorial from an acknowledged expert. I have read every one of these studies and the editorials as I do every week. All eight in the past month were indeed by leading experts in the field of the underlying studies. They included a COVID vaccine overview reviewed by an leading figure in vaccinology, and two COVID papers about Plaquenil and other approaches discussed by top infectious disease experts.

It was unlikely that those papers were going to get national media attention. All medical stuff.

But here we have our Pfizer vaccine paper. We have 300,000 fatalities in the USA alone and millions of cases. We have whacked our economy, we are in the depths of a national emergency. And we have a paper, the first, that may offer a glimpse of hope. Certainly this would be a landmark paper, and certainly it was treated in that manner? Right?

One would think that the doctors of America would have this study explained to them by a world-known vaccinologist? NOPE…..Maybe a virologist? NOPE….. Maybe a leading government official? Dr. Fauci? Dr. Birx? Dr. Osterholm? NOPE…..Maybe an expert in coronaviruses? NOPE…

We get the Pfizer ad glossy editorial treatment from Eric Rubin MD, the editor-in-chief of the NEJM. And Dr, Longo, an associate editor. Dr. Longo is an oncologist. Dr. Rubin is at least a recognized infectious disease doctor, but his specialty based on my Google search is mycobacterium, not virology. Again, one would normally anticipate for a paper of this importance, the editorial would be from someone with directly on point expertise.

Why would this fact been important to my mentor? (and I had the privilege of hearing him trash a paper in an open forum about a very similar issue, a paper introducing a drug to the world that later was the disaster of the decade, Vioxx) Why is this important to me and all the other physicians in my review group here in flyover country yesterday?

Because the choice of authorship of the editorial leads you to one of only several conclusions:

• Pfizer would not release the source data because of proprietary corporate concerns and no self-respecting expert would review without it • Pfizer knew there are problems and did not want anyone with expertise to find out and publicize them • The editors could not find a real expert willing to put their name on a discussion • Drs. Rubin and Longo are on some kind of journey to Vanity Fair and wanted their names on an “article for the ages” • This is a rush job, and no one had time to do anything properly, and so we just threw it all together in a flash

Readers, pick your poison. If anyone can think of a sound reason, please let me know. I am all ears.

But let’s open up the can of worms a bit more. Pfizer supports NEJM. Just a brief swipe through of recent editions yielded several Pfizer ads. A Pfizer ad appeared on my NEJM website this AM. I do not know how much they pay in advertising but appears to be quite a bit.

Americans, have we devolved so far in our grift that it is now appropriate for the EDITOR-IN-CHIEF of our landmark medical journal to be personally authoring “rah rah” editorials about a product of a client that supports his journal with ad dollars? And he has the gall to not present this conflict on his disclosure form? Really? Am I the only one worried about this type of thing?

Now we travel from the can of worms to the sewer. And this impacts every single one of us. I want you to Google the names of the people on the FDA committee that voted 17-4-1 two days ago to proceed with the Emergency Use Declaration. Go ahead – Google it. On that list, you will find the name Eric Rubin, MD. Why yes indeed, that is the very same Eric Rubin MD who wrote this editorial. Who is the Editor-in-Chief of the NEJM. A publication that certainly takes ad dollars from Pfizer. And he was one of the 17 to vote for the Pfizer product to be immediately used in an emergency fashion. Oh yes, oh yes he was.

Am I the only one who can recognize that Pfizer and other pharma companies may have some influence on Dr. Rubin thanks continued support of his employer, the NEJM? Am I the only one concerned that Dr. Rubin’s “rah rah” editorial may have been influenced by Pfizer? Is anyone else troubled that the Editor-in-Chief of the NEJM, supported by Big Pharma advertising dollars, is sitting on an FDA board to decide the fate of any pharmaceutical product? Is this not the very definition of corruption? Or at least a severe conflict of interest? I strongly suspect that a thorough evaluation of members of that committee will reveal other problems. As my grandmother always used to say, “There is never just one roach under a refrigerator.”

I looked in vain all day today for media discussions of conflicts of interest with Dr. Rubin or anyone else in a position of authority. I found nothing.

What I did find was the Boston NPR affiliate WBUR discussing Dr. Rubin’s Yes vote. You can listen yourself:

This interview left me much more concerned about Dr. Rubin’s role and what exactly he read in the raw data from Pfizer. In this interview, he admits that he as an FDA advisory member has seen no data from the Moderna trial coming up for a vote this week:

These two vaccines are fairly similar to one another, so I am hoping the data will look good, but we haven’t seen the data yet, so I reserve judgement.

Excuse me, but should not the members already have the data and be mulling over it to ask intelligent questions?

These statements left me more worried about the issues I have already brought up with the Pfizer vaccine:

We don’t know if there are particular groups that should or should not get the vaccine…We do not know what will happen to safety over the longer term.

When finally asked specifically about the UK allergic reactions and if they came up in the FDA meeting (emphasis mine):

It did come up and this was a bit of a surprise because in the trial, that trial was limited to specific kinds of participants, there were apparently no incidents like that, nevertheless this suggests it is something we are going to have to look out for.

There is absolutely not a word in the published data to suggest there was a limit to SPECIFIC PARTICIPANTS – what on earth is he talking about? Are there limited specific kinds of patients that we as physicians should be looking to vaccinate?

In a fine finish, toward the end of the interview Dr. Rubin states he is a bit relieved that low risk patients will be getting the vaccine later after we know more about the side effects with the first patients. I am really not trying to be a jerk – but are you kidding me? I thought this vaccine was a triumph with minimal side effects.

Dr. Rubin, kind sir, I really feel that you owe a clarification about your statements in the WBUR interview to the patients and caregivers of America. We are the ones with lives on the line.

First, I have the privilege of sitting on an Institutional Review Board (an independent entity that protects patient safety) and I know something about Grade 4 side effects. Just for 1 Grade 4 side effect in one subject, the accompanying documentation would often be a half a ream of paper. Because I agreed to do that job, it was my obligation to look through that documentation. That half a ream was for one side effect in one trial. Yet, you state unequivocally in this interview, that you, as a sitting member of the FDA committee that oversees the safety of the nation in this affair, have not seen any of the Moderna documentation for that upcoming meeting this week.

For readers to fully understand what I am saying, this Moderna documentation is going to be reams and reams of documents that need to be evaluated carefully to ask the right questions. And you have not yet studied this? For a meeting in just a few days? I find this deeply troubling. Your statements create the appearance the committee you are sitting on is nothing more than a rubber stamp for a decision that has already been made. This would be an absolute tragedy.

Second, Dr. Rubin, you in your position as the Editor-in-Chief of the NEJM and the editorial writer for this research, may be one of the few people on earth that have seen the original Pfizer research. Despite calling this a triumph, you state in the interview that you are relieved that younger people less likely to get the vaccine early so you will have time to wait to see if complications develop in the first patients. You have stated, despite your assertion in the editorial that the side effects were consistent with other vaccines, that “we don’t know if there are particular groups that should or should not get the vaccine”. Have you seen something in that “triumph” research that is concerning enough to you to make such statements? As a physician, I would really like a clarification on this statement, given that the shots are already rolling out today.

Now that we are past the editorial, a few words about the nuts and bolts of the paper.

I look for very specific red flags – usually making the data difficult to interpret. This study did not disappoint.

On page 5, in Table 1, the Demographic Description of the participants, go down to the AGE GROUP area. Note it is divided into only two cohorts 16-55 and >55. This is a real problem. My mentor said an honest paper should never deploy such a tactic.

You see, more than half of my patients are over 70. Why is this kind of obfuscation a real problem for my ability to trust the vaccine? Well, the intro papers to many pharmaceuticals that have gone down the drain in recent years have used this very same device. It is their way of hiding the fact that they did not put many older patients in the trial, certainly not representative of the population, and certainly not representative of who is seemingly going to get this vaccine in the first round. Do I know that 90% of the >55 group is actually between 55-58? I don’t. How hard would it be for them to do a breakdown in decades? 16-25 26-35 36-45 46-55 56-65 66-75 76-85? We have lots of computers in this country and the population breakdown is done this way on studies I read all the time. Why not do provide this information on a study that is this critically important, particularly one where elderly patients will be near the head of the line?

What are they trying to do here? Unfortunately, too often drugmakers resort to this practice to hide their failure to test their drug on the elderly to an appropriate or safe degree, knowing there would likely be lots of problems. Because of their past behavior, I ALWAYS assume this is true until proven otherwise and act accordingly with my elderly patients.

That is the world these companies have made for themselves.

Now for the tables on pages 6 and 7 about immediate side effects.

Just a brief look shows that local soreness and tenderness is very common, up to 75% with this vaccine. That is a bit high, but not that far out of range from my experience with other vaccines.

The tables on page 7 are the whoppers.

Headaches, fatigue, chills, muscle pain and joint pain appear to be very common, way more common than other vaccines I am used to, as in an order of magnitude higher. It is very clear from this table that about half the patients, especially the younger ones, are going to feel bad after this vaccine. That is extraordinary.

We are told nothing about how long these symptoms last or the amount of time at work lost. The “minimal side effects comparable with other viral vaccines” in the editorial and press releases is just not consistent at all with my experience of 30 years as a primary care physician. There was universal agreement with this assessment among my MD colleagues. They had great concern about this as a matter of fact: great concern that it will cause bad publicity and decrease administration and great concern that given this already high side effect profile, it may be much worse when it gets out to the public.

Given the fact that this virus is largely asymptomatic in more than half the people infected, what exactly are we doing here?

Furthermore, unlike other pharmaceutical papers that try to explain variances in symptoms like this, there is not a word offered about possible underlying causes of these outcomes.

The numbers of COVID cases in the placebo group vs the vaccine group have been widely publicized, from 162 cases in the placebo group down to 8 in the vaccine group, giving a relative reduction of 95%. It seemed to all of us in our review group that we do not have nearly enough patients to really make assessments. That is not a criticism. The researchers have done admirably in my opinion to get this many patients this quickly. That is still the problem: they are going to be using the first million patients or so in the general public to get a real gauge on numbers and side effects.

Another issue of grave concern to us all on Friday was the asymptomatic cases. The only subjects counted in the 162 and the 8 numbers above were patients with symptoms. Who knows how many in each cohort were asymptomatic.

This to me leads to the most important question of all, and it was again completely untouched….. How many asymptomatic patients are there? And how many who were vaccinated are still able to spread the virus? Not even an attempt to answer that question. This is critical, and is one of the ways a vaccine can backfire. If a vaccine does not provide sterilizing immunity, ie stop transmission, it is of limited use for disease control. It is great for the individual, but if they can remain without symptoms and still spread it all around it does not help from a public health standpoint.

I have described my concerns and red flags about this study. I would like to add one more thing. Pharmaceuticals that go bad rarely do so in the first few weeks or months. Rather, the adverse effects take months or years. It is a known unknown of not just vaccines but any kind of drug. Our pharma companies have become notorious for having inklings or indeed full knowledge that there is a problem early on, and saying nothing until many are maimed or killed. I will assume that this is the case in this class of drugs until proven otherwise. They are such deceivers I have no choice.

Due to sense of urgency my colleagues and Ifeel about this vaccine rollout, we had an ad hoc meeting of our Journal Club to discuss the NEJM article. Of the nine physicians at the meeting, three have already had very mild cases of COVID. Of the nine, only one is enthusiastic about these vaccines. I have a wait and see stance. I will not be taking it myself. I have too many scars, too many staring at me from the grave to take any other approach.

My patients’ feeeback on the COVID vaccine has been very different than the polls finding that 60% are ready to take it. About half my patients are in the professional/managerial classes and feature a higher level of the 0.1% than the US overall. They tend to be more blue. Most prefer to wait and thankful that health care workers were getting it first. The other half who are working class, more red, and they feel the whole thing is a hoax. They will not be getting the vaccine – likely ever.

The only enthusiasts I would call elderly Rachel Maddow fans. That really makes no sense to me at all since Operation Warp Speed was a Trump project and even Kamala Harris said she would not take a vaccine that Trump recommended.

I would say AT BEST 25% of my patients will be getting this vaccine shortly after being available. There is widespread skepticism that is not being acknowledged by our media. The pharmaceutical industry has worked tirelessly to earn every bit of that disrespect.

Please look at Dr. Angell’s seminal article from 2009. She predicted in her works, all of this and more. My profession has been captured by a cabal of corporatist MBA clones, rapacious and unethical pharmaceutical entities, and an academic elite addicted to credentialism and cronyism. They have over the years bought off and infiltrated all of our government health care regulating agencies and our public health system. And they are completely incestuous. I believe where we are now to be worse than Dr. Angell could have ever dreamed. Even more depressing, I see no way out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 As a special homage to the polio patient described above, a truly exceptional woman, let me underscore that the disastrous rollout of the this polio vaccine came at a time similar to ours. Panic and malaise were in the air. The children of America and the world were being stricken with polio at an alarming rate. Dr. Alton Ochsner, a leading figure in medicine of the day, vaccinated both of his grandchildren in public in an attempt to bolster confidence in the vaccines. Within 8 days his grandson was dead of bulbar polio. All the celebrities and politicians lining up to take this vaccine on national TV should remember this tragedy. “Stupid human tricks” like this have no place in this kind of situation, and can backfire in unexpected ways. Unlike that era’s polio vaccine, there is no way on earth this vaccine can transmit COVID. However, there are those of us in the medical profession who treat the plan to make population-wide use of messenger RNA, which before these trials had been repeatedly investigated but never reached the human trial stage save in a small scale Zika vaccine study. This is no time for machismo. This is also no time for anything less than complete transparency on the part of everyone involved in the quest for safe and effective vaccines. To behave in any other way is an affront to patients like mine who have suffered and died in the past.

2 If you read the paper, you might well have wondered about that 18,860 number and even checked Table 1 to make sure it’s accurate (it is), since the third paragraph of the Abstract, under the headline “Results,” has very different figures:

A total of 43,548 participants underwent randomization, of whom 43,448 received injections: 21,720 with BNT162b2 and 21,728 with placebo.

So how did the researchers get from 21,720 injected with the vaccine to the 18,860 in the “Main Safety Population”? This sort of thing confirms the impression that this is a very incomplete or sloppy study. It is really not clear where the difference between the 37,706 and the 43,548, or for that matter, the 36,520 total subjects in the Tables 2 and 3 (Efficacy) come from. I used the 37,706 and hence the 18,860 that went with it from Table because it gave slightly smaller numbers than using the Table 2 and 3 figures, but they would be close to each other.

My concern here is the 6000ish discrepancy between the figures in the main text compared to the tables. Were they excluded? If so, why? I could not make heads or tails out of this, and accordingly kept it out of the body of this post. This kind of inconsistency really needs to be hashed out with the actual source data in hand, and should have been explained in the article, even if just in footnotes.

[anotherdayinchuckletown]

They’re Funny That Way, Chapter 2

A/N: Hey, guys!  I’m pretty happy with the feedback I received on Chapter 1, and I’m so so thankful to everyone who took the time to read it (especially those of you who offered me kind and encouraging words, ily!)  So, the story continues!

I’ve found over the years that dialogue is my biggest strength, and scenes with little to no dialogue stretch and challenge me a bit.  So this chapter was a touch longer in development than the last. But I hope to get a consistent update schedule going pretty soon here because I have a very fleshed-out plan for this fic.

That said, I hope you enjoy!  Please like, reblog, and comment if you do!

(cross-posted to my AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/users/marie_deneuve)

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Arthur Fleck has seen an angel. There is no other way to describe it.

Things are especially tedious since he returned from his latest stint at the psychiatric ward. The same things, day in and day out, until each day begins to blur together like a watercolor painting. No clear lines separating one grueling day from the next, every shape hazy and undefined beyond the smoke of his cigarettes. He himself disappears into the smog and goes about his life unseen. Unknown. Not to mention, he's now on thin ice at work – Hoyt, his boss, made that much clear to him right off the bat. "You've missed a lot of days, Arthur," he had said the morning he came in to pick up his belongings. "Just try not to be a pain in the ass. No fucking up, you got that?" Arthur can't remember how he responded, if he responded. Only that the voice in his head (it's his mother's voice that time) told him to Smile. At least you got your job back. It's so much easier to smile when he's Carnival, and not just because the expression is painted on for him. He loves his job, honestly, he does. Every once in a while, when he's working gigs at birthday parties or at the children's hospital, when he's able to make the kids laugh, it seems worth it. For just a minute, it seems as though he's good for something after all. As though maybe when his mother used to tell him his purpose was to spread joy and laughter in the world, she was right. And maybe he could actually do it. Then he takes off the wig, the brightly-colored clothes, the greasepaint...and the illusion is broken. Sometimes it's easy to forget the husk of a man that lies underneath the makeup. Arthur Fleck. Who is Arthur Fleck? Hard to say. Carnival is easier. And so Carnival stays that evening as he walks home. Also because he's just so fucking exhausted. Not changing out of his clown costume at work means a little less dealing with his coworkers and a little more getting home to sequester himself from the rest of the world for the remainder of the evening. The woman on the elevator is not part of the plan. She holds the door open for him and retreats silently into a corner. The air between them is still as death as they ascend, her eyes burning holes in the back of his coat all the while. Arthur initially avoids looking back at her, afraid that if he does, she'll vanish into thin air. He's becoming too used to his lonely, damaged psyche playing such tricks on him. She never even pushes any of the buttons for a specific floor – if she's a hallucination, she's not even a convincing one. The trip is not smooth by any means – surprise, surprise – and the woman seems more than a little perturbed. "Does...that happen often?" Her voice, gentle and feathery, suddenly drifts over him, covering him like a weighted blanket. He turns to face her fully, intending to respond, but pauses when he feels his heart stop. She is undoubtedly the most beautiful creature he has ever laid eyes on. She instantly evokes images of those actresses in the black and white films of his youth. The same powerful air of sophistication as Grace Kelly. The same allure as Rita Hayworth. Only she's in vivid color, and they're not separated by a screen, and she's so close. Even in the elevator's dingy lighting, her blonde curls glow like a halo. Her full lips are pulled into a concerned frown, and her icy blue eyes are trained quizzically on him. Right, that's because she asked him a question. And he's so far done nothing but stare at her like a depraved creep. Carnival, his work persona, doesn't generally speak - and thank fuck for that. Arthur doesn't think he could power out a single word if he wanted to, his mouth has gone so dry. In the end, all he manages is a shrug. Idiot. She must not think he's a total loser because she keeps talking to him anyway, even pays him a compliment – a compliment! When's the last time that happened? He's definitely glad he kept the clown costume on now; interacting with her this way is safer, gives him less of a chance to screw it up. Less of a chance for her to see how pathetic he really is underneath it all. All good things must come to an end, however, and they do eventually reach the eighth floor. And when they do, she surprises him yet again. "I'm new to the building, by the way – my name's Emma. It's a pleasure." Emma. Emma. Emma. She extends a perfectly-manicured hand, and for a moment, Arthur just stares. This is most likely when he finds out that this woman, this magnificent vision in his hallway, this Emma, is nothing more than a fantastic dream. And if she is, in fact, a dream, he's not so sure he's ready to wake up. Nevertheless, he gingerly returns the gesture. Their hands connect. Soft and tentative, but tangible. Warm. Light. So light that Arthur feels as though he's floating, hovering just above the tiled floor, and he could continue to float forever, as long as he just holds on. To his disappointment, she is the one to let go. Arthur crashes back down to the floor, a chill running through him at the sudden loss of contact, simple though it was. She bids him good night and takes off down the hall, the click of her heels in perfect sync with the thrumming of his heart against his ribcage. Emma. Emma. Emma. He gets the feeling he won't forget that name for as long as he lives. Arthur Fleck has seen an angel. And she is so, so beautiful. _____________________________________ "Hey, you look like shit." "Thanks, motherfucker." On her way to the kitchen, Emma totters past the open bathroom door, where Eddie is busy shaving his face. Apparently not too busy to comment on her fresh-out-of-bed appearance, though. She will admit, she's not surprised if she doesn't look her best at the moment. Almost a week of sleeping on a rapidly-deflating air mattress on Eddie's living room floor has not done her back any favors. The bags forming under her eyes make her look like she hasn't slept since the seventies, and her hair has become stringy and unkempt since the last time it was washed. To top it off, she still has none of her clothes or other belongings. So she's currently sporting an oversized Creedence Clearwater Revival t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, both borrowed from Eddie. They hang off of her smaller frame, giving her the appearance of a sickly child who will be hard-pressed to survive the coming winter. "You making breakfast?" her brother asks, poking his head into the foyer. A glob of shaving cream drips onto the tile below him, and Emma grimaces. She returns her focus to her previous mission of rifling through the freezer, pushing past an assortment of cheap vodka and TV dinners until she finds his deposit of frozen waffles. "Eggos!" she calls out. "Cool! Pop an extra one in the toaster for me, yeah?" Emma complies, setting an extra plate out for him as well. As the toaster whirs quietly atop the kitchen counter, she begins her morning ritual of planting herself on the sofa and burying her face in the job listings section of the local newspaper. The job hunt so far has yielded results that are...less than stellar. So many applications, so many interviews, and so far...nothing. "We'll call you if something else opens up" here and "we'll keep you on file" there. Even a "your educational background is good, but we're looking for a little more experience". It's starting to take a toll on her self-esteem. The only real offer she's gotten is from a dive bar across town called The Harlequin. She's familiar with the bartending world – it's how she put herself through college. And she likes to think she's damn good at it, too – hell, she had mastered the Bloody Mary with only a couple weeks' practice! Run-of-the-mill margaritas and martinis? Piece of cake. Not to mention, studying psychology at the same time has granted her an uncanny ability to manipulate a conversation, bend it to her will. Sniff out how to get the biggest possible tips from each kind of patron. Yes, she's a master, all right. But she's really hoping to move on to something with a more...prestigious title. "Any new prospects today?" Eddie emerges from the bathroom just as the toaster lets out a soft 'ding!' He quickly joins Emma on the sofa, a plate of waffles in either hand and bottle of syrup under his arm, completely bypassing the dining room table as per usual. She hasn't seen him eat a single meal at that table yet, instead opting to bring his food into the living room and spill his goddamn crumbs all over the furniture. "Nothing yet, besides The Harlequin thing," Emma grumbles, taking the fork he offers and muttering a quick "thank you" as he sets a plate down on the coffee table for her. "I'm tempted to accept it, just so I can end the madness." "Didn't Sophie recommend you at the bank?" Eddie goes to town with the syrup, drowning his breakfast until the golden-brown liquid threatens to spill off of his plate and onto the coffee table. "She tried. Nothing was open." Emma puts down the newspaper for the time being, feeling the beginnings of a migraine creeping along her scalp. She instead grabs the remote and flips on the TV across the living room, the background noise helping her to relax her mind. Eddie shovels in a forkful of his syrupy concoction. "Sorry we couldn't get you on at the record store. We had a spot last week, but Ron's back from rehab now..." he says with his mouth full. "That reminds me, you still thinking about medical school?" That gives her pause. Honestly, she hasn't thought about medical school in quite a while. More pressing matters to attend to. Besides, it's been years since she last studied. Who's to say that she could pick up where she left off now, even if she were to apply? In the end, after a moment's hesitation, she shrugs. "Maybe. I'm a little rusty, you know?" She takes a meager bite of her own breakfast, chewing carefully. "Aw, come on, that's a cop-out!" Eddie abruptly stands and rushes to the kitchen, leaving his plate behind. As he begins to rummage through the fridge, he continues. "You gotta at least try! You're smart and talented, you work your ass off – where the fuck? – oh, there it is..." He returns with a can of whipped cream and unleashes about half of it onto his plate, and the other half directly into his mouth. "Plus!" He grins. "You look like me, so you know you've got it goin' on." The fraternal twins did bear a striking resemblance to one another as children, but age has individualized them greatly. Where Emma remains on the shorter side, Eddie is now a solid six feet tall. Eddie has also experienced a little more horizontal growth; although Emma suspects his rampant drinking (more so than his atrocious diet) is the cause. "I'm not sure what looks have to do with anything..." Emma scans her brother's plate for the waffle. She can't see it - it's forever lost to the sugary onslaught. Maybe it is his diet after all. "Looks have to do with everything, Em. Not fair, but true." His eyebrows furrow, and he scrutinizes her face. "Speaking of which, you really do look terrible." "You mentioned." "No, like...have you been sleeping at all?" His eyes narrow with concern, meeting her own sunken ones. "I know that air mattress is a piece of shit - you can get yourself something nicer if you want." Emma sometimes forgets how observant Eddie can be when he focuses. She really hasn't been able to sleep a wink since she arrived in Gotham several days ago. He's right, the air mattress is an awkward and lumpy piece of shit, but that's not the real reason sleep evades her. The walls of the tiny apartment seem to cry in anguish at night. Sirens blare outside the window near constantly; they're sometimes accompanied by flashing red and blue lights, the colors piercing through the curtains and waltzing unsettlingly across the floor. People wander the streets until the wee hours, shouting at each other, their combined voices drifting toward the sky in an unpleasant cacophony. Emma can easily understand why folks here on the East Side are so exhausted. The only person who sleeps less than she does is the man who lives next door. She's never seen him, but she's definitely heard him. At least once every night, when she least expects it, he bursts into sudden uproarious laughter. Normally, Emma would march right over and ask the man what could possibly be so fucking funny at three in the morning (only a bit more tactfully, she's not an animal), but she never brings herself to do it. Truthfully, she's scared to. Something is not right about that laugh. It's discordant and jarring, as if clawing its way into the apartment like a demon prying frantically through the drywall. It lacks joy, and in fact, actually sounds pretty damn miserable. A part of her wonders if the man is all right. Regardless, a better mattress couldn't hurt. "Yeah, I might do that," she says. "I probably should prioritize getting some clothes of my own first." Satisfied, Eddie returns to demolishing his waffle creation. "Get whatever you want, as long as you can make the space for it. Want you to be comfortable while you're here, however long that is." He chuckles. "With your money, I'm sure you can spoil yourself much better than I can." Emma snorts, gesturing wildly at herself and at her surroundings. "Money? What money?" "You kidding?" He looks genuinely surprised for a moment. "Your ex is a millionaire! You mean to tell me you haven't hopped on that alimony pony?" "Oh, don't be ridiculous, I don't give a shit about Daniel's money." Emma rolls her eyes. "Not to mention, we only separated a week ago. We have to set a court date, fill out the paperwork-" "Yeah, yeah," Eddie drawls, waving her off. "When that check comes, you remember who took your ass in, no questions asked. Got it?" It's nice to know his sense of humor hasn't changed. Emma nods once. "You got it." They eat in peaceful silence for a while, the distant voice of the news anchor on TV the only sound in the room. Something that doesn't happen often for the siblings. After a few minutes, Eddie speaks up again. "Hey, Em?" "Yeah?" "...Glad you're back. Missed you." "Hm." A faint smile plays along her lips. "Missed you too." 

[javocjovian]

The Angel Who Would Be Human

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So I had an idea for a prompt and the resulting scene took a life of its own. I posted the first part on Tumblr, then realized I never posted the end. So here it is!

Supernatural Couples Prompt: A powerful entity has turned someone of your choosing into a human (or if they’re already human, into an angel/demon). The curse will only last for a week. Pick your favorite couple, or experiment with a new one.

Part One/My Earlier Post

Read the whole thing on Archive of Our Own!

The Angel Who Would Be Human, a.k.a. Gabrizar Aww Yiss 

Balthazar had always tried to humor humans. Or at least, he always tried to try. Some of them were just so stupid that Balthazar couldn’t help but write them off as a lost cause. But as it turned out, they were all right about one very important thing that even Balthazar had to acknowledge he’d been too stupid to see: 

Naps were amazing.

Seriously, they were better than sex.

Okay, maybe not sex. But speaking of…

Balthazar sat up and looked around for Gabriel. He remembered falling asleep with Gabriel atop him, half naked and gorgeous (Gabriel was pretty sexy, too), but then he couldn’t remember anything until he’d woken up feeling so good that he wasn’t even angry at the Fates any more.

Scratch that. He’d still smite them, but not now. Now, he wanted to find Gabriel.

Balthazar stretched luxuriously and got to his feet. The fire was still crackling, and cool afternoon light spilled in through the window. The rain and thunder had stopped, and the sky was now steely and cold. Balthazar didn’t bother tying his robe. He heard Gabriel’s voice around the corner and headed that way. Gabriel had much more important things to do than answering phone calls. Namely, Balthazar.

Balthazar stepped into the kitchen, shamelessly elegant and tousled-haired. He called out to Gabriel, who was sitting at a table talking quietly.

“Oh lover, I couldn’t help but notice that bathtub of yours is roughly the size of a baby hippopotamus and has some wonderful looking whirlpool jets...” He hummed, sweeping his tanned arms around Gabriel’s neck, “Perhaps you and I should… oh.” He paused.

Castiel was sitting at the opposite end of the table.

There was an audible pause in which none of the three men seemed able to look away from each other. Gabriel had been having a meeting, a very much in-person and in-clothing meeting, with none other than Castiel. And for some reason, there was a grocery bag full of peaches on the table, plus three more at Castiel’s feet.

Balthazar took a breath, then went on as if nothing had happened, “...Like I was saying, break out the bubble bath and try to see how many times we can f...”

“Hello, Balthazar.”

“...ck in one day?” Balthazar smiled, then let his attentions slide to Castiel, “Oh, hello Castiel. Didn’t see you there.”

“You were just looking at...”

“Castiel.” Gabriel interjected, looking like it was costing him all of his strength not to grin wickedly. He gave Balthazar a sly wink.

Balthazar beamed.

Castiel looked a little nauseous.

“As you can see, I am incredibly busy at the moment...” Gabriel continued.

“So busy.” Balthazar emphasized.

“...so, like I said, I cannot help you.” Gabriel said, idly touching Balthazar’s arm.

Balthazar smirked, then stood back up and strode to the refrigerator, “Oh don’t mind me, I’ll just be making tea.”

Castiel blinked like he’d gotten something stuck in his eye, “Could you… could you at least close your robe?”

“No.” Balthazar and Gabriel said in unison. Gabriel sounded defiant, Balthazar politely unperturbed.

“Cream? Sugar?” Balthazar offered.

Castiel could have sworn Balthazar winked at him. He looked determinedly at Gabriel, who was now outright grinning in pride.

“You told me you’d been stabbed… by a monkey king’s spear.”

Gabriel feigned forgetfulness, “Oh right… right. Well. No. As it turns out, I actually have a social life, Castiel, unlike you. So if you don’t mind...”

“Gabriel.” Castiel said firmly, “We need. Those weapons. All of heaven needs your cooperation.” He said, “I also… I brought you peaches.”

Gabriel looked touched.

“Right-o. Thanks, Cas.” Balthazar swiped a peach off the table and put it in his mouth.

Castiel glanced at him, then quickly looked away in alarm. He was exactly waist height with Balthazar, “Gabriel.” He repeated.

“Alright! Alright. Jeez, Cas. You sound like a broken record.” Gabriel scooted his chair back in annoyance, “But can’t it wait? Please?” He tilted his head.

Balthazar returned to the table and put a steaming cup front of Gabriel, then one in front of Castiel. He leaned back against the counter and sipped his tea, looking imploringly at Castiel.

Castiel’s eyes shifted between the two of them. He sighed, “Fine! You have one week.”

Gabriel and Balthazar looked delighted.

“Very sporting of you, Cas.” Balthazar said, “Really. I am in your debt.”

Castiel rolled his eyes. He drank his tea, more to have something to do other than look at the determinedly half-nude angel and the Archangel flirting with him across the table. But then he noticed something odd. Aside from the obvious...

“Too much cream?” Balthazar noticed.

“No.” Castiel squinted, “Your neck. What happened to it?”

Balthazar touched his neck reflexively, but it was Gabriel’s wide-eyed look that enlightened him, “Really, Cas, I don’t know what...” Balthazar had hickeys on his neck, “Ah. Right. Well you see, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much...”

“I’m the daddy...” Gabriel interjected quietly.

“Is that so…?” Balthazar raised his brows.

Castiel cleared his throat, “No, no. I know about that. The uh… the pizza man showed me.”

Gabriel and Balthazar forgot their flirtatious argument immediately and stared at Castiel in intrigue.

“I mean,” Castiel resumed, “Why do you still have bruises?”

Balthazar understood Castiel’s meaning at once.

“I’m just that good, Castiel.” Gabriel winked and sipped his tea.

It looked like Castiel was ready to accept that Gabriel had some sort of stronger effect in that regard than Castiel had been aware of, be it from his Archangel grace or from… experience. But then something else clicked in Castiel’s head, “Balthazar.” “Yes?”

“I thought I heard… was it you who ran into the eldest sister of Fate this morning?”

Balthazar gave Gabriel a subtle glance. He wasn’t sure why he’d done it, but in the next moment Gabriel was covering for him, and it made Balthazar tingle in all the right places.

“Well that looks like all the time we have.” Gabriel cut off Castiel’s questioning, “As you know by now I have a tub with Jacuzzi jets, an incredibly sexy angel (present company excluded), and a week without your puppy-dog eyes dogging me left and right.”

For a moment, Castiel seemed concerned that there was something wrong with his eyes, “Right. Right. One week.” He reiterated.

“And what a week that will be.” Balthazar agreed, “Now I suggest you shoo, Castiel.” He tipped him off, “Unless of course...”

Gabriel and Balthazar shared a look, then Gabriel suddenly lifted a brow curiously at Castiel.

Balthazar looked politely intrigued.

Castiel, however, was speechless, “I… huh? Wait. You don’t mean...” His face fell, “You do. Uh… oh, no. I should go.” He suddenly nodded in agreement, rising to his feet with his tea cup still in hand.

Gabriel was grinning again.

“Have.” An awkward pause, “Fun...” Castiel expressed a look of inner turmoil before he poofed out of the room, and off the continent.

Gabriel sighed, “Finally!”

“Yes, finally.” Balthazar said, then put a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder suggestively, “But you should know I’m not calling you ‘daddy’.”

“Oh...” Gabriel chuckled, getting up and examining Balthazar closely, “I’ll have you saying all kinds of things, baby.” He flirted. He was leading a more than willing Balthazar away from the kitchen when, “Wait...” Gabriel looked at the peaches on the table and the bags on the floor, realizing something, “He took my cup!”

“It’s just a cup, love.” Balthazar husked.

“But…!”

“C’mon, let’s…. Just… I’ll buy you a new one.”

Gabriel let Balthazar lovingly pry him out of the kitchen, leaving two unfinished cups of tea in the kitchen, and a lot of peaches. He coaxed him with kisses all the way into the bathroom, until Gabriel had forgotten he ever owned tea cups in the first place.

Gabriel kissed Balthazar with a slow kind of passion. Once they were inside the cool lit room, he gave Balthazar’s robe a swift pull down his back, and Balthazar let it fall to the tile floor, “You tease.” Gabriel purred, sliding his hands up Balthazar’s firm chest, “Do you know how badly I wanted to do that the whole time Cas was here?” His eyes raked over Balthazar’s nude body.

“You should have. He might’ve left sooner.” Balthazar held back a laugh, leaning into Gabriel.

“I don’t know… you saw his face when we suggested he stay.”

Balthazar really did laugh this time, “Can you imagine, a threesome with Heaven’s most prudent angel?” He asked, pulling up Gabriel’s shirt.

“That’s a nice way of saying ‘a stick up his ass’.” Gabriel took his shirt off and threw it aside.

“You’re just thinking about putting things up my arse.”

“Can you blame me? I mean, have you seen your ass?”

“Yes I have, thank-you-very-much.” Balthazar smirked.

Gabriel kissed him, bare chest to bare chest, as he backed Balthazar right into the edge of the tub. He pressed his denim into Balthazar’s cock and Balthazar hummed happily, grabbing hold of Gabriel’s rear. Gabriel reached around Balthazar and turned the tub on blindly.

The faucet spring to life, filling the room with warm and the sound of rushing water, “It takes longer than normal. Bigger tub and all.” Gabriel spoke between kisses.

“Whatever shall we do with the time?” Balthazar sighed, rolling his body into Gabriel’s. He opened the kiss and tasted Gabriel’s tongue, earning a shiver of arousal from Gabriel.

They made out as the tub filled, caressing and tasting each other in the billowing steam. Balthazar’s hands reached Gabriel’s jeans button and he began undoing his pants.

“I say, we take nice, hot bath. Get a bite to eat. Then spend the next week fucking each other senseless in front of my fireplace.” Gabriel suggested casually.

“Oh, I like the sound of that.” Balthazar said, “You’re such a romantic, Gabriel.” Whether he was being sarcastic or not, Gabriel couldn’t tell, but Balthazar kissed him with such passion that Gabriel didn’t think it mattered.

Gabriel pressed another button behind Balthazar and the jets turned on, turning the tub into a bubbling whirlpool. Gabriel let Balthazar disrobe him (Balthazar was very happy to find that Gabriel wasn’t wearing underwear), then the two of them sunk into the bubbles.

The tub was biggest enough for the two of them to fit without touching, but they cuddled up anyway; Balthazar with his arm around Gabriel’s shoulders, and Gabriel with his arm under Balthazar’s waist. It was so warm and relaxing. The skylight above showed gray clouds moving across the sky, and Balthazar couldn’t think of anywhere he’d rather be.

Soon, the jets and the water and Balthazar lying regal and naked in his arms was too much for Gabriel, and he slid atop Balthazar, straddling him in the water.

Balthazar no longer had the stamina of an angel, however, so he decided to repay Gabriel’s favor from that morning. He hoisted Gabriel’s ass up out of the water and sat up. Gabriel had no objections whatsoever. So with a sultry look from Balthazar, he lowered his lips around Gabriel’s cock and sucked him into his mouth. Gabriel’s eyes fluttered shut as Balthazar the human gave him a blowjob in the heat of the bath.

“Oh fuck, Balth...” Gabriel’s lips parted in satisfaction.

Balthazar hummed in interest as he became intimate with the shape of Gabriel’s cock. He licked and sucked and swallowed him as easily as he’d eaten that peach. In fact, the taste mixed quite well with Gabriel’s musk. It was delicious.

Gabriel’s head was soon tilted back, his hands gripping the tub’s ledge behind him. A steady slew of curses fell off his gaping lips. It felt like Balthazar was sucking the grace out of him.

Balthazar smiled internally. He loved the way Gabriel leaned back, exposing himself completely to Balthazar. He even loved the way Gabriel rolled his hips slightly and grabbed his hair. He sucked him with steadily growing fervor. He couldn’t get enough of Gabriel’s cock, and Gabriel couldn’t stop moaning.

“Fuck yeah, oh fuck, oh shit, Balth...” Gabriel’s body was tight and sweating in the steam.

Balthazar slid his wet hands up Gabriel’s body, loving every inch of it. He took Gabriel out of his mouth for a moment, supplementing the motions with his hand, “You’ve such a nice cock, Gabriel.” He flicked his tongue over the tip and Gabriel shuttered, staring at him wide-eyed. There was something so carelessly sexy about Balthazar’s voice in that moment, “I think I’ll have it in me later, with your permission of course.” He said.

Gabriel nodded numbly, “Yeah… oh fuck, yeah.” Then Balthazar swallowed him back into his mouth and Gabriel groaned, “Oh you so have my permission holy fuck.”

Balthazar hummed in amusement at that sentiment. Holy fuck, indeed. He caressed Gabriel's balls with his free hand, working his cock until Gabriel’s whole body was shaking. Gabriel was practically vibrating from head to toe with pleasure. There was something so erotic about the way Balthazar so carelessly and elegantly blew him. Gabriel couldn’t stand it.

“Shit, Balth, I’m close...” He panted, but Balthazar didn’t stop. He rolled Gabriel's balls and sucked his cock until Gabriel was gasping and grabbing Balthazar’s shoulders. Then his whole body was seizing up and he came hard down Balthazar’s throat. Balthazar took it with a look of determination, and it made Gabriel’s whole body shake in arousal, “Yeah, Balth, oh yeah.”

After several incredibly strong jolts, Gabriel was hunched over, his head practically resting on Balthazar’s. Balthazar slipped Gabriel out of his mouth in satisfaction. He kissed up his spent cock, then up the light brown dusting of hair. He kissed up his belly and chest, all the way up to his lips, then scooped him back into the water and onto his lap. They kissed lazily as Balthazar lay Gabriel back down, moving atop him into the water. Balthazar’s weight felt so good pressing into him in the bath.

It took several moments of slow, luxurious kissing for Gabriel to come to. He put his arms around Balthazar, his whole body tingling in the water. It was bliss.

“You. Have done that before.” Gabriel concluded.

Balthazar gave him an appreciative look, “Yes, I have.” He kissed his neck, “But you might be my favorite.”

Gabriel smiled at him.

 They lay like that in the water for a while, basking in each other’s glow and talking about nothing. Eventually, Balthazar felt a different kind of hunger gnawing at him. Literal hunger, actually. So they drained the tub and dried off together. Gabriel brought some clothes for Balthazar to try. It took quite a few trips to find something Balthazar would actually wear, however.

“How much denim do you have, exactly? Oh no, I’m not wearing that. Leather pants, really? Alright, give them here… actually those are quite fetching, let me have those...”

“You’re lucky you know how to suck a dick.” Gabriel grumbled.

Balthazar looked like he was well aware of this as he got dressed surrounded by most of Gabriel’s wardrobe.

 Finally, they were both dressed and ready to go out. Gabriel was helping pick up Balthazar’s wet clothes from earlier and hang them to dry in the bathroom.

“Oh no, not this.” Balthazar took his jacket, “I’ll have to get this tailored. Where’s the nearest laundromat?”

Gabriel looked at him in thinly veiled amusement, “There isn’t one?”

Balthazar was stunned, “Where do you get your pants pressed?”

“I’ll press your pants...” Gabriel muttered, eyeing Balthazar up and down.

Balthazar shot him a knowing look, then hung his jacket up in the bathroom, “The steam should help at least...”

“Let’s go!” Gabriel called for him.

“Coming! Coming.” Balthazar replied impatiently.

Gabriel held the door open for Balthazar. As he walked by, he gave Gabriel a slap on the ass and kept walking. Gabriel grinned and caught up with him down the trail into town.

 This time, Balthazar was much better equipped for walking into a Swiss village in the middle of November. He had a pair of gloves, a couple of Gabriel’s sweaters, a lovely overcoat and scarf, and some pants that fit Gabriel perfectly but were even more perfectly too tight on Balthazar. Balthazar was keen on Gabriel’s unwillingness to bring him other pants, especially as Gabriel kept glancing at his butt. Balthazar didn’t mind. When they got to town, he held Gabriel’s hand loosely.

“So where are we going?”

“Well, there’s only one place to eat around here, but it’s fantastic.”

Sure enough, they reached the only place people seeming to be going in and out of. It was a small tavern that looked like the inside of someone’s home. It was wooden and cozy, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. A few heads turned as they walked in, but Gabriel took a seat without hesitation.

A few of the older locals came over to greet Gabriel. They all insisted that he hadn’t aged a day, and were delighted when Balthazar introduced himself in fluent Swiss-German. The two of them had a fantastic time eating fondue, raclette potatoes, and roesti. Gabriel was very amused at how quickly Balthazar took to his human ability to taste. He even said the music sounded better.

They had a few cocktails after their meal, and Gabriel had to remind Balthazar that he could get drunk now. Balthazar seemed half intent to try it, but he decided now wasn’t the time. He’d rather have a walk around the village with Gabriel, while still able to walk straight. Not that ‘straight’ was the theme of the week.

After a few goodbyes, Balthazar and Gabriel left the tavern to stroll through the village. As dusk fell on the mountains, Christmas lights sprang to life everywhere. And when the clouds broke again, a light snow began to fall. It might have been the humanity in him, but Balthazar thought it was absolutely magical. The Fates couldn’t have sent Balthazar anywhere better. Being in the middle of nowhere meant he could kiss Gabriel just about anywhere they went. Once Balthazar began shivering with cold, however, Gabriel led them back up to his cabin.

 The cabin was warm and inviting, and Balthazar was happy to be back. He warmed himself up in front of the fire as Gabriel got settled in. Soon enough, he felt Gabriel’s arms link around his waist. He looked over his shoulder and smiled.

“What did I tell you? Being human isn’t so bad.” Gabriel kissed his jaw.

“Mmm. Maybe you’re right, Gabriel.”

Gabriel paused, staring intently at Balthazar over his shoulder, “That’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever said.”

Balthazar laughed and turned in Gabriel’s arms, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I said maybe...”

Gabriel cut him off with kisses, “Shh… Don’t ruin this for me.”

Balthazar chuckled in the fire light. Then he took Gabriel by the face and kissing him softly, “So what was that about getting a bite to eat, then spending the week fucking each other in front of the fireplace?”

Gabriel couldn’t help but feel a little breathless, “You keep kissing like that and we can do whatever you want.” He lifted his eyebrows.

Balthazar grinned and began to disrobe Gabriel. They helped each other out of their many layers, until Gabriel was naked and Balthazar was struggling with his pants.

“You’re enjoying this far too much.” Balthazar eyed him.

It was true. Gabriel was beaming.

Balthazar was sitting on the chair by the fire. With Gabriel’s help he finally got his pants off, “You and your skinny...” He’d started to complain. But the next thing he knew, Gabriel had looped a finger around the silver necklace Balthazar wore and coaxed him down to the floor at Gabriel’s feet.

Balthazar followed his lead, a little surprised (but definitely not complaining) as he sat naked looking up at Gabriel. Then Gabriel turned around.

“...where are you going?”

Gabriel was fetching something out of his wardrobe, “You’re human now. So we’re going to need… oh where is it? Ah-ha! Here.” He held out a clear bottle with Hindi lettering, filled with blue liquid.

“Ah.” Balthazar said. Despite how casually Balthazar was leaning naked against the leg of the chair in the firelight, he couldn’t help but feel a little nervous.

Gabriel must have picked up on it, because he set the bottle on the floor and knelt down, “But not yet.” He said, getting on all fours and moving between Balthazar’s legs. He crawled atop him, kissing him in the warmth of the fire until their bodies were so interlocked that Balthazar didn’t know who was who.

Balthazar kissed him back greedily, loving the sound of their lips against the crackling of the fire. The moon shown brightly through the window and the ledge was beginning to pile up with snow. It was so cozy that Balthazar forgot to be nervous.

As their kisses became more searching, Balthazar pulled Gabriel down onto the floor so he was laying atop him. Gabriel purred in interest. He tasted Balthazar deeply, running his hand through his hair while the other smoothed down Balthazar’s thigh. He was encouraged by Balthazar’s contented sigh, so he felt down to Balthazar’s ass, squeezing and opening him up testingly.

Balthazar didn’t stop him. In fact, he spread his legs a little and slipped a hand between their bodies to stroke their cocks together. They shared a satisfied sigh, and it was all the go-ahead Gabriel needed.

Gabriel grabbed the bottle of lube blindly. He sat up a little to better squeeze some into his hand. The sight of Balthazar ruffled up and carelessly jacking them off beneath Gabriel was breathtaking.

“Something wrong, love?”

Gabriel shook his head, “You are so perfect.” He eyed him.

Balthazar smiled, “That’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever said.”

Gabriel faked a laugh, but his smile was genuine, “Hilarious.” Encouraged by Balthazar’s cocky expression, Gabriel decided to make himself busy while he warmed the lube in his hand. He backed out of Balthazar’s grip and put a hand on Balthazar’s knee.

Balthazar took the hint and stopped touching himself. Instead, he watched curiously as Gabriel gave him a flirty look and bent down between Balthazar’s legs. He spread them for Gabriel, and was rewarded when he left Gabriel’s lips caress his cock.

Balthazar hummed in arousal.

Gabriel teased him with hot breath and slow licks, until he finally sunk down and swallowed Balthazar into his mouth.

Balthazar’s expression screwed up, “Yes, Gabriel.” He moaned softly.

Gabriel sucked him slow and steady, teasing him more than anything. But it drove Balthazar wild. Once Balthazar was good and wet, Gabriel pulled away and began stroking him with his hand. Then his head was dipping down again and licking somewhere else.

Balthazar glanced down, then he felt it. Gabriel was rimming him. Balthazar’s chest swelled as he felt Gabriel’s tongue teasing his entrance while his hand slowly jerked him off. He’d been rimmed before, but something about the way Gabriel was stroking and toying with him was so much better than anything he’d ever felt.

Gabriel firmly circled Balthazar’s entrance with his tongue and was rewarded with a soft sigh of approval. Spurred on, he dipped his tongue into Balthazar’s body then licked again. Balthazar’s body clenched then melted, making Balthazar’s head spin.

“You’re such a tease.” He breathed.

“You love it.” Gabriel rumbled, dipping his tongue back into Balthazar again. He did this a few more times, then gave him a long, hard lick and pressed his tongue inside Balthazar, eating him out for real. His lips pressed against his entrance and Balthazar moaned.

It was such a tingly, jarring sensation, but it warmed Balthazar in all the right places and Balthazar loved it. His body was undulating in the firelight. He had a hand over his eyes, his lips parted, his feet scuffing the floor as Gabriel stroked and licked him from the inside.

After several long moments of Balthazar feeling like he was drowning in pleasure, he felt Gabriel move away. He glanced down and saw him switching positions. Gabriel took Balthazar’s cock back into his mouth, making Balthazar’s heart leap in arousal. Below, Gabriel was slipping a warm, slick finger into Balthazar’s body. Balthazar’s breath shuddered and he moaned. Gabriel’s mouth was so wet and tight, and that finger was reaching all the places Gabriel’s tongue couldn’t. It was practically sinful.

Encouraged by Balthazar’s flushed appearance and indulgent sounds, Gabriel finger fucked him steadily, stroking him from the inside.

“Gabe...” He mouthed.

Gabriel grinned internally. Balthazar was tastier than anything Gabriel had ever put in his mouth. He slowly added a second finger, opening Balthazar up and curling his fingers in all the right places.

Finally, Gabriel found Balthazar’s spot and pressed his fingers into it. Balthazar’s back arched with a groan. He picked his head up in surprise, “Fuck, this is… brilliant.”

Gabriel gave him a cocky look and Balthazar didn’t even mind. He smiled at him, but it opened up again as Gabriel kept stroking past that spot. His head fell back down, trying hard not to squirm in pleasure. Gabriel was practically glowing. He added a third finger, stretching Balthazar and fucking him slowly as he sucked his cock.

It was such a slow, maddening pace that it was making Balthazar tingle with need. Finally, just when Balthazar thought he couldn’t take any more, Gabriel pulled off of him completely. Balthazar glanced down and saw Gabriel grabbing more lube.

“Ready, baby?”

Balthazar nodded breathlessly, “Oh, fuck yes.” He watched heatedly as Gabriel spread more lube over his own cock. It glistened like the saliva and precum on Gabriel’s lips. Balthazar wanted to kiss him, to claim him, like there was a predatory animal rising in him. But he was just as happy to be taken by Gabriel.

Gabriel shifted his hips between Balthazar’s legs and held the tip of his cock at Balthazar’s entrance. He gave Balthazar a wicked grin, then pressed in.

Balthazar moaned as Gabriel began slowly filling him up. Sure, he’d been rimmed and fingered a few times, mostly when he was too drunk to care who or what he was fooling around with, but this… this was so much more. They groaned in unison as Gabriel’s cock kept parting Balthazar’s tight heat.

Once Gabriel didn’t need his hands anymore, he lowered himself over Balthazar, using his hips to slide himself inside Balthazar completely. Hands on the floor, hips against his ass, Gabriel dipped down to kiss Balthazar’s gaping mouth.

They shared a sloppy, breathless kiss in the stillness of the moment. Balthazar had never felt so full, and yet it was perfect. A new kind of pleasure was expanding in him, making his whole body rush with pleasure. He pulled Gabriel closer, wasting no space between them. It was so warm.

Slowly, Gabriel began moving his hips, not breaking the kiss. He pulled out slowly, then pushed back in, making Balthazar tremble beneath him. He looped his arms around Gabriel’s waist. Gabriel’s elbows were on the floor, his hands on either side of Balthazar’s face. As he fucked Balthazar, he felt Balthazar’s body begin to move with his. It was an almost unconscious effort. Their bodies moved together, Gabriel slipping in and out of him until Balthazar couldn’t keep up the kiss.

“Oh yes, Gabe...” He moaned hotly.

Gabriel grinned. He propped himself up on his elbows to give his hips a little more power. He gave Balthazar the full treatment. He entered him completely, pressing against Balthazar’s ass on every thrust and rotating his hips upward. Then he pulled out slow and did it again. And again. Until Balthazar’s hips were fucking Gabriel back with trembling desire. Gabriel picked up the pace, making Balthazar curse endlessly. Soon the cabin was filled with the sounds of sex.

It was incredible seeing an angel look so human, even if he was human at the moment. Balthazar was arched up and heaving under Gabriel, his hands in his hair. Gabriel raked his hands over Balthazar’s body, fucking him with confidence.

“Yeah, Balthazar. Take it. You’re so fucking sexy. I’m going to fuck you all night.”

Balthazar groaned words of encouragement, until Gabriel couldn’t help himself. He sat up properly and fucked Balthazar hard and fast, making sure to work Balthazar’s prostate with every thrust.

Balthazar’s hand flew down to his cock, but Gabriel was already there, using the excess lube to pump Balthazar’s cock.

“No. You’re all mine tonight. And I’m going to make you come so hard.” He gripped his cock possessively.

Balthazar’s head fell back, overcome with arousal, “Yes, Gabriel. Oh, yes.” Gabriel was overwhelming him, and he loved it every bit of it.

Balthazar’s moans were becoming more like shouts as Gabriel stroked him with every hit to his prostate. The sounds made Gabriel tingle with pride and arousal. Soon, they were both becoming more and more overcome with need.

“I want all of Heaven to hear you being fucked by me, Balthazar.”

“Fuck, Gabe.” Balthazar was breathless with ecstasy, “Fuck!”

“Yeah baby, yeah.” Gabriel panted. He pumped his cock in and out of Balthazar, making sure to rub along every inch of him.

Balthazar shuddered and moaned, “Yes. Oh, fuck me, Gabriel.”

Gabriel’s head was swimming, but that command sent a chill down his spine. He bit his lip and put all of his efforts into fucking Balthazar senseless. It seemed to be working. Balthazar’s whole body was tight and trembling, squeezing around Gabriel and making him gasp.

“Gabe… I’m so close.”

“Yeah, me too.” Gabriel breathed. He bent back down to grab Balthazar’s hair.

They shared every breath, every stroke and thrust. Soon, Balthazar was grabbing Gabriel’s hair and twisting his body up against Gabriel. A soundless plea fell off his lips, and Gabriel knew what was coming. He gave his cock a long, firm stroke and jabbed right into his prostate, and Balthazar was coming hard onto his chest and stomach.

Balthazar moaned hotly, his whole body tightening up. Especially around Gabriel’s cock. Balthazar seemed to like fucking through his orgasm, which was good for Gabriel because he couldn’t stop. Gabriel groaned through his lips as the sensation of Balthazar’s orgasm pushed him over the edge. He pulled out quickly and came hot and heavy onto Balthazar’s thigh and cock. Heaven (or at least all of the Swiss village) definitely heard them.

 Both men panted heavily, shaking in their post-orgasm high. Gabriel felt Balthazar pull him down atop him, and Gabriel obeyed happily, landing on him with a fwump. They breathed together, basking in each other’s smells and sounds in the light of the fire.

They lay like that for what felt like hours. Until Gabriel picked his head up to look at Balthazar. They both looked like they’d been put through an angel banishing spell. They were disheveled and flushed. Yet, Gabriel couldn’t remember Balthazar ever looking sexier.

“That… was amazing.” Balthazar finally sighed, putting his arms around Gabriel’s shoulders.

Gabriel kissed him lazily, “You weren’t so bad yourself.”

Balthazar smiled, “We’ll have to do that again. Several times. After I’m recovered, that is.” He shifted a little, testing the muscles in his lower half, “I haven’t come like that in centuries.”

“I guess I went a little rough on you, huh?” Gabriel said sheepishly.

Balthazar shook his head, “No. It was good. Very, very good.” He kissed him.

Gabriel kissed back, putting a hand to Balthazar’s forehead. A faint, blue glow radiated from Gabriel’s hand, and suddenly Balthazar’s discomfort was gone.

“There.”

Balthazar looked impressed.

Then Gabriel snapped his fingers and their mess was gone, “Care for a drink?”

Balthazar’s eyebrows couldn’t have gone any higher, “Absolutely.”

They sat up, but as Gabriel got up Balthazar took him by the arm and kissed him. He hadn’t kissed him like that before. It was a slow, grateful kiss. When he broke it, Gabriel looked at him closely.

“What was that for?”

Balthazar thought about it, “Taking care of me.” He said simply, “You didn’t have to let me stay.”

“You’re right. I wanted to.” Gabriel said.

He smiled, “Well, thank you, then.”

They shared another slow kiss, then Gabriel said, “What do you take? I’ve got Whiskey, Bourbon, Vodka...”

“Oh, Vodka. Please.” Balthazar nodded.

Gabriel got up with a wink and walked to a small bar beside the bed. Balthazar watched him, reclining naked by the fire. This was going to be an excellent week, he thought.

This episode of Supernatural was brought to you by Casa Erotica and way too much Vodka.

That's all folks! I wanted to keep this one short, but now I have a million more ideas or Gabrizar stories (including a threesome with Cas hahaha). Hopefully I can get some of them written out, but this one is complete! Cheers!

[decorous-biohazart]

Just A Crime Scene

The night air hung with a cool tinge over Phoenix Nest, the moon casting a silver sheen over the concrete and glass of the camp. The barracks were silent with empty halls as it’s residents had poured into the main street of the camp along with others as festivities roared. But atop the barracks, it was a far different atmosphere. 

A lone figure stood at the edge of the roof, staring down at the jovial crowd below. Her blonde hair hung just passed her jawline in uneven ends as it gently swayed in the breeze. Her eyes that normally sparkled with embers of amber were now dull and distant. Just a walk down a few flights of stairs or a trip down the elevator and she would be surrounded by her friends and allies in celebration, but her feet felt heavy on the rooftop as if they had taken root in the cold stone. Her fingerless-gloved hands gripped her shoulders as if holding the pieces of herself together. 

The door behind the figure creaked on worn metal hinges as another figure entered the scene. It was a slim yet well built man with an Australian hat, longish dirty-blonde hair spilling out from beneath it. Faded jeans, a leather vest, and worn blue shirt with rolled up sleeves clapped gently in the wind as his boots crunched against the gravel that covered the roof. His blue eyes scanned the roof for a moment before they finally rested on the figure. He did not approach the woman, almost as if she were a wild animal ready to strike. 

“Yer missin’ out down there.” The man broke the silence in a thick Australian accent, speaking with an almost joking twinge to his voice, attempting to receive a response out of the woman with no avail. At the realization he had gained no ground the man rolled his eyes, throwing his arms out at his sides before the clapped against the sides of his legs. 

“C’mon Cell, talk t’ me. What’s goin’ on in there?” he persisted. 

The woman’s head turned slightly at the call of her name before it shifted back onto the crowd below. “I’m just... Not feeling the party life. You know I’ve always been like that.” she responded meekly. 

The man scoffed with a shake of his head as he took a couple steps forward. “Well g’day! My name’s Dingo an’ I’m th’ guy you’re talkin’ like you just met! I’ve seen you red as a ripe tomato on th’ shoulders of some poor bastard before the music even starts. This ain’t like you, Cell.” Dingo’s tone shifted from a sarcastic manor to more of hints of concern, his accent drying up. “We just won a huge fight out there an’ didn’t lose a single bloody man. If that ain’t worth celebrating I dunno what is.” 

“Well you know sometimes I feel like we shouldn’t have to be fighting in the first place!” Cell snapped, causing Dingo to take a step back. “You ever think of that? Maybe sometimes coming back from the Field doesn’t make me want to drink and party.” she continued before a sigh escaped through her nose as her shoulders deflated.  “Besides... I’m too lightweight to enjoy alcohol that much anyway.”  Dingo put his hands on his hips as he paced forward to Cell’s side, his gear clattering with each step before he came to a stop with his feet at the edge right next to Cell’s. 

“Y’know, nobody ever said that was a bad thing. But these people are celebratin’ ‘cause they know just how rare of a thing this is. Everyone who walked out that gate came back in one piece-” 

“Well maybe they didn’t all come back in one piece!” Cell cut the Australian off as her feet shifted to face the man. The redirection of her posture spilled the pale moonlight onto her skin and illuminated her features. Or at least that was how Dingo perceived it for a moment; the moon was up behind her as opposed to in front of her but yet she still looked so pale. Her hands were shaking and her eyes were heavy as if each were tied to an anchor as she tried to keep her eyes open. 

“Jesus, Cell, what-” Dingo began. 

“Not everybody comes back from the Field in one piece, Dingo.” Cell’s voice dripped with acid and cracked like her chapped lips. “I can only handle seeing so much blood, so much rotting flesh, so much gunfire before it starts to eat at me. And you know what happens when you get distracted? What’s out there literally eats you. So you try so hard to stay on your guard because the slightest mistake can get you or someone else killed and that only makes it harder.” Cell’s hands moved erratically as if trying to grab each word out of the air and force it forward before she turned on her heel, eye contact broken with Dingo now only to feel his gaze burning into her back. 

“So you come home and try to sleep only to have that thought rotting in your head that you might get called back out there again just to do the same thing. Somehow the friends you stand next to on that battleground that you’d give your life up for just feel more and more distant. As soon as you get back through the gates they got places to go, people to see, paperwork to do and you’re standing there with blood-soaked hands just wanting to hold someone else’s so yours aren’t the only ones stained. 

You come back looking like a crime scene without the chalk or yellow tape and all people can do is look at you like a hero. They don’t know what you did, who you killed, or who you left behind and they love it!” The woman’s voice was a reservoir of emotion that had long needed to overflow but never found the opportunity. She never wanted the notoriety of success, the thrill of combat, or even the relief of seeing all that accompanied her return alive. 

“I just... I don’t want to go back to not feeling human and instead like a slab of meat to give that fix for the primal desires of who or whatever has me. That the people around me are more than just husks that I’ve started pulling mental strings with to get them thinking I’m more to them than the occasional service.” She finished, her hands balled into fists at her sides as they gripped her cargo pants, trying to control the shaking. 

Dingo, however, hadn’t moved. Cell’s gaze turned back over her shoulder to meet her ally’s. Her dull gaze began to show flakes of the orange in her eyes again, but instead of warm ambition they carried the cold sparks of her soul. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Cell asked, almost as if caught off guard. 

“Like what?” Dingo questioned back. 

“Like I’m some kind of animal you just found on the side of the road waiting to be put out of its misery.” she answered. 

Dingo’s hands fell from his hip with a sigh as he turned and sat down on the edge of the rooftop, his hand subconsciously playing with the locket that hung around his neck while the other rested on his left knee. 

“Y’know somethin’, I had a talk just like this when Sharpy came rollin’ back into camp all that time ago. We hadn’t seen him fer three years an’ he comes proper walkin’ in like he never left. I’ve never seen a man keep a straight face like that tellin’ a story like his. Back like he never left and so much of him hadn’t followed him home. Y’know how Decorous did that?” Dingo left the question hanging as Cell’s now mild gaze rested on the man’s features. Clearly not receiving an answer without response Cell paced to the edge of the roof, her legs crossing together beneath her as she lowered herself down to his level and asked, 

“How...?” 

“’Cause we were in that crowd.” Dingo responded matter-of-factly. “’Cause he knew we needed to see him in the best condition he could muster. While he was locked away in that stasis chamber for the first three years of the Fall takin’ a nap we were out here fighting tooth an’ nail to make this place. He was put in a leadership position of what we built like he got t’ miss all the hard work he knew that. At first I didn’t see it, but when I talked t’ him on this very same roof he told me it all. 

He ‘bout knocked me flat with his words telling me how he knew that we went those three years on our own buildin’ this place and he suddenly swoops in and takes the reigns. But I didn’t feel cheated, I felt like I could rest. ‘Cause he could do th’ job better than any of us.” Dingo explained letting go of the locket as his hand rested on his one knee pad, tapping the bandanna with a Phoenix insignia that was tied just above it around his leg. 

“You are th’ best runner we got, and nobody goes a day without knowin’ how hard of a job that is. But they’re down there celebrating ‘cause they know they got you up on those rooftops watchin’ over them like a guardian angel ready t’ swoop down and kick th’ ass of whatever puts ‘em in harms way. As well as myself up there with a crack shot too, of course.” Dingo added the last sentence with a cocky smile and a wave of his hand, warranting an offended scoff from Cell as she punched him in the shoulder, but she couldn’t help but smile. 

“Y’see? They’re down there celebrating ‘cause they know all you do for ‘em. This ain’t a weight you carry alone, because y’ got the rest of us. Decorous with that weird getup of his that I still don’t understand but wouldn’t change, Socket with his lackin’ ability t’ talk to folks without needing bailed out when he says somethin’ outta place, an’ of course an Aussie with a heart o’ gold.” He finished, holding up the golden heart shaped locket with the last line as his eyes fell on Cell again. 

“Life’s a bugger, but that don’t mean it’s one you gotta tussle with alone. Believe it or not-” Dingo’s tone picked up with a quick raise of his eyebrow as his eyes shifted back down to the crowd below. “- I actually came up ‘ere ‘cause they were all askin’ for ya. Y’ got adoring fans and friends all ‘round ya even if y’ don’t always see ‘em. Some people gotta go miles t’ another camp just to see their mates. I’m one of th’ lucky ones that’s just gotta walk down some stairs. I tell ya...” Dingo trailed off as he stared at the locket again for a moment, “Ain’t no better feeling that coming home day after day after it just about killed ya knowing someone’s waitin’ for ya.” Dingo’s smile widened a bit as he placed a hand on Cell’s head, ruffling her hair. 

Cell waved a hand to push his away before rubbing a forearm across her eyes, her smile beginning to become more apparent.  Dingo took notice of his breakthrough before he tucked the locket back in his collar before quickly pushing himself backwards and vaulting to his feet, brushing off his jeans before extending a hand out to the runner. 

“Now c’mon, can’t have the life of the party mopin’ up ‘ere, save the perching for wall duty.” Dingo’s smirk remained as Cell pushed herself up and firmly grabbed his hand, pulling herself up to her feet. 

“Atta girl.” Dingo encouraged as Cell quickly shook her head and hands to release the tension in her muscles. Bouncing on her toes for a moment she took a couple jabs at the air before resting her hands in front of her chest and letting out a slow exhale. 

“Thanks Dingo... I needed that. I just- I guess I lose my way sometimes out there. Thanks for bringing me back, even if I do it kicking and screaming.” 

“Ah, don’t mention it. A shiner from a friend is worth it now an’ again. Just means the Cell I know’s still there.” Dingo joked as he creaked the door open again.

“Does that mean I can punch you?” Cell asked with a smirk of her own as she raised her gaze to the taller man. Dingo chuckled as he bumped his foot against the woman’s backside, pushing her through the door. “Maybe another time, gotta look good for th’ after party.” 

As she vanished into the stairwell Dingo looked back at the empty roof one more time, his thoughts wandering for a moment before shaking himself back to reality. It was a lonely little place and he seemed to have an attraction to it, but the chance to venture forth and find those he called friends in that melancholy state to bring them back to the lively spirits was something he’d do time and time again. 

‘Wouldn’t trade it for the world-’ he began to think to himself as the door creaked shut behind him.

‘Because these friends of mine are the world.’