#it always feels like “people” connect with each other build networks around them etc but for some reason I do not get connected to them

[freedarick]

If I love and appreciate people, why in the hell cannot I believe that I can also be loved and appreciated??

[trans-axolotl]

hey i love your posts on anti-psych organizing, the work you're doing is really inspiring <333 i was jw if you have any advice for people who want to contribute to the movement but have certain accessibility challenges? for example in my case i have very high social anxiety which makes public speaking hard and i also have difficulty processing denser criticism/theory in written form due to cognitive symptoms, etc. and it makes me feel like i don't have much to offer to help but i would love to get more involved if possible!! tysm in advance if you answer this happy pride btw <3

Happy pride anon! Thanks so much for this question, I think it's really important!

There are so many ways to contribute to antipsych/mad liberation movement, and it's so important that our spaces are accessible! When we're fighting for our rights as mad and disabled people, we deserve to have our access needs respected, and to be able to show up in whatever ways work for us. I talk a lot about writing and theory on here just because Tumblr is a place I go to write, but theory is not something that feels always relevant or important in many spaces. Community and accessibility always comes first!

Whatever you have to offer to the movement is enough and valued. I'll list off some ideas I have, but honestly, whatever you feel passionate about and your own ideas are likely to be better than what I can list off.

Creating art! whether writing, drawing, mixed media, anything, creating art and sharing it with others really can be an important way to honor our experiences and share them with others.

Finding out where a psych ward near you is, and writing cards, sending in care packages with things like books, puzzles, fidget toys, things like that. Happy to write out some more tips for that if people are interested.

Graffiti! even if you're just using a sharpie to write alternative crisis line numbers that don't call the cops on posters for the 988 hotline, putting up psych abolition stickers near hospitals, things like that.

Going to protests. There aren't a lot of specific mad pride/antipsych protests, but depending on your area, there might be some stuff happening in July for mad pride! I know there's an event happening in Vermont on July 15th.

Creating reading groups. I think theory is not more important than lived experience and isn't necessary to read super dense academic stuff, but I know for some people it can be a really powerful experience to read stuff that validates your experiences and offers new ways of understanding. Creating a book club where you can read stuff with other people, talk about it together, discuss questions and confusions you have together, can be a way to make it more accessible then trying to navigate it on your own. And it absolutely doesn't have to be theory that you read, it could be memoirs, fiction, nonfiction, anything that interests you!

Finding out what is already going on in your location. Even if there isn't specific antipsych groups, a lot of cities will have mental health support groups, mental health clubhouses, peer support, etc. Sometimes there will already be projects going that you can figure out ways to get involved.

Writing reviews of hospitals/psychiatrists/treatment providers to better give people in your community an idea of what to expect.

Community building. I think that a lot of times, we can feel really isolated and that the psych system can make it hard for us to be connected to each other and learn the skills to support each other. Joining groups like the Hearing Voices Network, other peer support groups, local support groups, clubhouses, etc, can be a really important step just to build relationships and get involved without necessarily having to create specific projects.

Learning what resources are near you and building up a resource library so that you can share things like coping skills, peer respite, local orgs with other people in your community!

Understanding the laws around psych hospitalization, mental health, medications, etc. If new laws are proposed, giving feedback, emailing hospitals about policies, things like that.

Self care and rest. So often we are in crisis, constantly going, feeling the pressure to be involved. Resting can be part of resistance! Taking the time to care for ourselves, our community, embracing joy, play, recreation, is so important. Our survival can be resistance in a system that doesn't want us free.

These are just some ideas, and are not a complete list. I really believe that everyone's contributions are worthy and valuable, and that whatever people have to offer is worth celebrating. Our movements should be accessible and considerate of all of our different needs, and figure out ways to empower each of us to participate, and to get rid of barriers together. My way of engaging with antipsych stuff is absolutely not the only or best way, and I always love to hear from other people about their approaches!

TL;DR: Theory and public speaking are not the only ways to particpate, and accessibility is important! Whatever things you are passionate about are good places to start brainstorming. There are multiple options of things like art, sending care packages, and getting involved in local community.

Followers, please feel free to add on your own ideas or ways you participate! Would love to hear all the amazing ways we're all engaging with this movement.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

You seem like you’ve been a bit down lately. Are you lonely, Frank?

I'm lonely in the conventional way -- I miss having close relationships, and I have a hard time with the current setup -- but I've had people around for the last six years, and so I'm not sure it's accurate to say that my isolation is loneliness, or even that I have anything like a "loneliness problem"

I do have an "intensely socially isolated" problem, that tends to manifest as my isolation-disconnectedness causing me to make bad and awkward social decisions, but it has nothing to do with the sociability

One of the bad and awkward things is that I find it harder to make close connections than I used to, because I'm always worried about hurting people. I don't know how to make friends online; it's a skill that takes time and practice like any other, and I seem to be having some sort of difficulty with it.

In my old social life (pre-the pandemic), I spent a lot of time worried that I wasn't doing enough for everyone around me, that I was not sufficiently enthusiastic about the things I liked (music, reading), that I didn't have the enthusiasm for things I did not like (socializing), that I wasn't good enough in various ways, that I needed to perform an amount of "enthusiasm" that was too high, that I lacked any sort of "warmth" or "personality", that I "overpromised" my level of involvement. (I was a bad "friend" because I wasn't sufficiently good a friend -- not in the sense of not doing enough for my friends, but in the sense of not making enough contributions.)

This is a lot less bad than the equivalent fear when I'm in the pandemic, but it still takes some effort to overcome it. I am not good at understanding what others find important or interesting, much less actually doing it for them. I don't have a "contribution graph" (which I know other people like to make) that makes me feel like my contributions are "good enough" or "good enough enough for now."

But the bad and awkward thing was always that I didn't make connections in the way I'm good at, the way I'm used to: I had to rely on making contact through awkward and noncentralized processes -- being good at starting conversations, etc. This makes it difficult to meet people who want to talk about interesting things, because I have to make the initial contact while I'm not all that interesting and people can tell. It also makes it hard to make friends in the conventional way -- "being active in the social media ecosystem" is a sort of semi-obscure social contact skill that seems to require a lot of "warmth" and, again, it seems to be hard for me to warm up to new people while I'm socially isolated from a lot of people.

All that makes it hard to build a social network. This is not the same thing as having a loneliness problem, even if the two seem to sometimes reinforce each other. It just doesn't help that I find it hard to do the things that are the "natural" or "standard" or "dominant" way to make new social contacts these days.

[creatcreed]

How to Make Money Online Without Investment

With the internet, there are plenty of ways to make money online without spending any amount upfront. Regardless of if you want to generate a side income or even create an online business that is circulation independent, here are several ways which you can do so without having any upfront financial investment to begin.

Freelancing If we talk about the platforms where you can start your work is simply freelancing. Freelancers who provide numerous services connect with clients on websites such as Upwork, Fiverr, and Freelancer. Whether you can write, design graphics or websites, do marketing or any other skillful work — You name that trade and collect on it. Build a strong profile, flaunt your work portfolio and bid on relevant projects that you have the capability to deliver.

Internet polls and also marketing research Everyone knows that companies are always looking for consumer opinions on what they can do to get their products and services better. With survey reward websites such as Swagbucks, Survey Junkie, and Vindale Research you can get paid for answering questions based on campaigns conducted by businesses. This will probably not make you a millionaire, but it’s one drop in the ocean and an easy way to earn while chilling lazily on your couch.

Blogging Blogging Blogging is one of the ways by which you can share your passions and expertise with others while earning money online. You can even start a blog for free using platforms like WordPress and Blogger. After you create valuable content and grow your audience, making money from your blog by using affiliate marketing or sponsored posts, selling digital products such as e-books & course. The earning capability of a blog is huge even though it takes time to grow your brand.

Affiliate Marketing Affiliate Marketing: sell someone else's shit for 50% or more profits on each sale made through your referral link Affiliate networks (such as Amazon Associates, ClickBank, or ShareASale) offer you a range of different affiliate programs to sign up for. You simply create content around the products you are promoting (blog post, social media posts, or on YouTube videos etc…) then send traffic to your affiliate links in order for people that landing at those links and buy from them so that way you will earn commissions.

Content Creation on YouTube In present time, YouTube has changed the life of many content creators amazed by the kind of money they earn from this platform. If you like creating videos then why not start a YouTube Channel and put out content on stuff that interests you. After you've achieved (1,000 subscribers and 4,000 watch hours in the past year) YouTube monetization requirements; they are: Ad revenue Through channel memberships Super Chat donations You can also work directly with brands for sponsored content as well.

Selling Digital Products I mean, if you have knowledge on a given subject try making digital products like e-books or even online courses and printables. Teachable, Udemy, and Gumroad are platforms where you can use to create digital products for sale. This method takes time and effort to create your products but can potentially allow you a residual way of making money once your product is up there for sale.

Social Media Management Businesses need people to manage their social media. If you feel proficient in social media and how to make it pop, then these are the services that can be offered — Social Media Management Common job posting websites like Indeed or LinkedIn do offer remote social media manager positions. You can also contact the area small businesses for your services as well.

Virtual Assistance VAs(NOT VA for the dirty minded!) stand as Virtual Assistants who provide administrative support to companies and entrepreneurs. Jobs can range from managing emails, to organizing calendars and schedules for your clients, everything else is tied along the lines of data entry and providing customer/customer service etc. On other websites you can find these virtual assistant jobs, like Virtual Assistant Jobs and Fancy Hands. Being a Postmates Delivery Driver allows you to set your own hours and work from the comfort of home.

Online Tutoring Become an online tutor; providing tuition to students for subjects you know. Websites like Tutor. Sites like tutors. com, Chegg Tutors, and Wyzant have a network of available tutors looking to tutor students with some extra cashtags on hand. Many models are adaptable and thrive on new subjects ranging from math, science to languages or even test prep. Its a way where you can make money in ways of sharing knowledge with others as all are paid.

Microtasks Sites like Amazon Mechanical Turk and Clickworker offer small tasks for payment. These can be data entry, content moderation or web research tasks. The pay per task is quite low, but the tasks are short and can add up over time.

Online without investment to make money, how is it possible? It could be anything whether freelancing, blogging, affiliate marketing, or any other method but consistency and efforts are going to make you succeed. And all of these options allow you to work online and be location-independent, something that is becoming more common now than ever before.

[thisisforthemoms]

Coping mechanisms and support structures

Navigating the mental load can feel isolating, but there are strategies and supports that can make a significant difference. Here's what experts suggest (slight eye rolling here..do these experts have kids?) for managing this often overwhelming burden.

### Building a Support Network

Dr. Lisa Feldman, a psychologist specializing in maternal mental health, emphasizes the importance of community. "No mother is an island," she states. "Building a network of support not only divides the load but also provides emotional sustenance. This can be other parents, friends, family members, or even community groups. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness."

Support can look like arranging playdates with other families, which not only gives children time to socialize but also provides a space for us mothers to connect and share experiences and resources. Social media and local community centers are excellent resources for finding groups that resonate with your parenting style and challenges.

The only issue I see with this is: A lot of mothers - especially single moms, don't have said network. Family members live further away, friends are not on the same timeline as you if their kids are not in the same age range as yours, and friends without kids...well they are not able to understand why spontaneous outings are not that manageable for us moms. But yes, actively searching for people who can relate and who we connect with, supporting each other when we feel overwhelmed and alone has proven to be very helpful.

I know for some it can be difficult reaching out to strangers, but know you are not alone! There are so many others who feel and think just like you, who are looking to connect with people who understand them and or going through the same things.

### Effective Time Management

"Time management is crucial for reducing stress," notes Mark Robinson (again with the eye rolling...does this man have children I ask myself..), a life coach with a focus on single parents. "Using tools like digital calendars can help us mothers keep track of appointments, school events, and work deadlines all in one place. Additionally, setting aside specific times for planning can prevent last-minute scrambles and ease the mental load."

Simple strategies like preparing meals in advance, organizing clothes and school items the night before, and maintaining a regular routine can also help manage daily tasks more efficiently. This I find to be true. I do feel less stressed in the mornings when I know I took care of the morning prep the evening before.

### Self-Care and Mental Health

Julie Tran, a social worker, stresses the importance of self-care. "Taking time for yourself isn't just about relaxation; it's about preservation," she advises. "This can be as simple as taking a short walk, reading a book, or practicing mindfulness. Regular self-care is essential for mental health and helps you recharge to face daily challenges." But the financial aspect of self-care is often ignored.

When single mothers are not financially equipped in order to make/buy time for said self-care, self-care becomes another task due to planning around the kids’ schedules, household chores, etc. Self-care time has to be tightly scheduled. And even when lying on a massage table, 25.000 tabs are running on high, and your brain doesn’t just shut down on command. No matter where my children are or who is spending time with them/watching over them my thoughts are always with them and their well-being, and hours ahead for when they are back with me. This makes it impossible to "just take a break".

### Community and Policy Advocacy

Campaigns like "Mother's Health" have successfully advocated for increased funding for maternal mental health services, demonstrating the power of community and policy advocacy in supporting mothers.

### Educational Programs

The Austrian education system has initiated programs aimed at redistributing household responsibilities to alleviate the mental load on mothers. These programs are crucial for educating the next generation about fairness and shared duties within the home.

### Conclusion

Understanding and supporting the mental load carried by mothers is essential for healthier families and stronger communities. In Austria, where the traditional and modern blend uniquely, the challenges and solutions may be specific, but the need for awareness and action is universal. Let's continue this conversation, share experiences, and work together to lighten the load.

[qubexprovizag]

Sharing Office Space in Vizag | Qubexpro Business Centre

The concept of traditional offices is on its way to extinction. A job of 9 to 5 has become stale and it is on a better track as now you get to choose your own working hours. You can work on that period of time in a day when you know you are the most productive. Therefore, shared office spaces for rent are high in demand because of their flexibility of working hours along with low-cost investments and networking opportunities. There are a lot of shared office spaces like Qubexpro that provide seamless business support 24 hours a.

In spite of all the services offered by these shared office space providers, the most significant and appealing one is ‘networking’. You get to meet with numerous people who belong to various professional backgrounds and domains. People get into these workplaces to increase their professional connections that in return will be beneficial for them to grow. Startups are one of the major key benefit holders of such spaces because they are growing every day and need new people and connections to expand. And probably there cannot be any other better place for them. In the same way, bigger enterprises are also striding towards these offices as they get to meet with such a huge panel of talented professionals that help their employees to stay motivated. As per a lot of research, it was found that after working in coworking spaces, people have started feeling more motivated and passionate about their respective work. Also, people get to experience cross-partnerships, hiring, joint ventures, etc. which were never have been possible if they were working in a traditional office.

So, it is very necessary for you to know how you can reap the maximum from these shared offices. Socializing with your coworkers in such offices can be helpful for you to grow your network. But there are diverse kinds of people working in offices and everybody has their own way of characteristics. Some people just come to just work and they don’t like to hang around with anyone and if you start building relationships with them, then apparently they will start avoiding you. But this is something that you might not have ever wished for. Therefore, you need to know how to build a healthy relationship with each other. We have listed some of the methods on how to approach your coworkers.

Here you go!

Introduce yourself to every coworker you meet

It may sound odd to you if you are an introverted person, but this is the greatest way to make a place in somebody’s heart. Introducing yourself to your neighbors and everyone else whom you meet in the office is the first step of networking. This will help them to refer you when their friends or acquaintances will search for the services or products your company provides or manufactures. Always try to be available by not plugging on your earphone, etc. that strongly signals your wish to avoid any interactions.

If possible, get business cards and distribute them to all the people you come across.

Share your knowledge wherever it is feasible

Always be open with your coworkers and hold on to yourself when you are in a group. Share your knowledge and expertise with each other. This will only help you to increase your knowledge as you will also listen to others and their experiences. Business is the art of listening and your efforts to communicate. Unless you listen you will not be able to communicate with people and unless you communicate you will always be unaware of all the knowledge that the other has.

Attend other’s events and host your own too

Never miss an event at your shared office that is hosted by others, as here you get to meet all the coworkers working there, plus all other acquaintances of the host. You get to meet so many new people there; who knows one of them is going to be your next partner!

Also, host events to offer them the same opportunities that you get while attending other’s events.

Spend some time in the community area

We understand that you might be busy doing your own work the entire day, but try taking some out in between in order to spend some time in the communal area. This is the place where you can your maximum connections as it is the only common space in the whole space. Quick communication with someone can result in a business partnership or even a new collaboration. 

Get in Touch:

Call: +91 8916686777, +91 9121166911

Visit: https://qubexpro.com/co-working/

[cherienymphe]

Til Death Do Us Part (Bucky x Reader)

WARNINGS: NON-CON, loss of virginity, alluded to Mafia!Bucky, arranged marriage

DNI IF THIS OFFENDS YOU

➥ {page breaks done by @whimsicalrogers​}

summary: after your arranged marriage has served its purpose, you bring up the inevitable topic of divorce. It is only then do you realize that you and your husband might not be on the same page.

~

You hummed as the Keurig made that annoying almost growling noise you hated, but it signaled that your coffee was done so you supposed you couldn’t hate it too much. When you turned it off, the only noise in the otherwise quiet kitchen was the sound of your spoon hitting the mug as you stirred. Truth be told, it was the only sound in the entire mansion.

Bucky was upstairs, in his office, doing God knows what. You didn’t make it your business to put your nose in the details of his business. At one point it might have mattered to you, in the beginning – like the first week of your marriage beginning– but you had long moved past that. You pursed your lips as your thoughts ran rampant, confusion and impatience starring in them.

You took a sip of your coffee and glanced upwards towards the ceiling. The inevitable conversation to be had had been weighing on your mind for weeks. You and Bucky hardly talked, husband and wife in name only, but you figured that now was as good a time as any. With a sigh, you glided out of the kitchen and made your way upstairs.

The house you lived in was obnoxiously grand and much too ostentatious for your tastes, but you’d known what kind of life you were marrying into when you walked down the aisle. You’d known when your parents had told you his name, it all having been arranged for you without your consent or knowledge. For a year you’d lived a life that made you just a bit uncomfortable. Jewels, fancy parties, private jets, etc. It just wasn’t for you, never had been despite growing up around that. It didn’t matter now though. Soon you’d be free of it.

You knocked on his office door without hesitation. Despite your loveless marriage, Bucky was never cruel to you, just indifferent, and you were the same. Anyone else would have been worried to disturb him but considering the two of you talked maybe once a week, you knew he’d be more curious than anything else as to why you were seeking him out. Although, there was really only one reason and you were positive he’d been expecting you at some point.

“Come in,” his gruff voice carried through the wood.

You strode inside with a small smile. He didn’t return it, but that wasn’t unusual. He hardly ever smiled. You found yourself frowning a bit as you registered the slight confusion on his face.

“Hey. Sorry to disturb you…”

“No, it’s fine. Sit down,” he softly replied, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk.

You settled in, fingers trailing over your mug.

“I didn’t think to bring you a cup,” you suddenly said, apologetic.

“It’s fine,” he waved you off, pushing whatever he was working on to the side. “What’s the matter?”

You cleared your throat, sitting up straight, and his eyes narrowed at you.

“I… I just thought I’d-we’d address the elephant in the room.”

His brows furrowed, and he dropped his pen on the desk before leaning back in his chair, hands folded in his lap.

“What are you talking about?”

You rolled your eyes.

“Come on, Bucky. I’m talking about the ‘D’ word here,” you chuckled.

His expression did not change, and you found yourself getting irritated with him, something you hardly ever did. You didn’t hold in your scoff, and you took a sip of coffee before continuing.

“Divorce,” you deadpanned.

His blue eyes widened, and his face fell as he registered your response. You were confused yourself now as you watched him hastily sit up, leaning on his desk as he stared you down.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

A sinking feeling festered in your gut, and it was beginning to hit you that maybe you two weren’t on the same page after all.

“Oh,” you quietly murmured as you looked down.

“Y/N, what the hell are you talking about?”

Your eyes met his as your shoulders sagged.

“Bucky, this marriage was arranged in every way a marriage could be, purely so you could inherit your grandfather’s money. He passed two months ago, so I thought the topic of divorce was coming any day now,” you told him, speaking as if you were talking to a child.

He merely blinked at you, so you continued.

“From the beginning I knew that this marriage had a purpose, and while I might have hoped it would be something more, I learned fairly quickly that we were both just…waiting it out…”

He finally moved, rising to step around his desk and sit on the edge of it, facing you. He pressed his hands into the mahogany as he shook his head.

“That’s…that’s not…,” his words died off as his frown deepened, something in his eyes that you couldn’t name yet.

“We’re husband and wife in name only. Its only true on paper,” you chuckled. “In the entire year that we’ve been married, we have never slept together. The only time you kiss or even touch me is when we’re at some event with hundreds of eyes watching our every move.”

His shoulders sagged too as he looked at you. You smiled at him.

“I don’t blame you for anything you may have done outside of our marriage. I don’t care,” you honestly told him with a shrug.

His face pinched at that, and you watched his jaw tick as his eyes narrowed.

“Why not? Have you been doing anything outside of our marriage?” he demanded.

You reared back at his harsh tone, never having been on the receiving end of it.

“No,” you scoffed. “…because our marriage is a farce. I don’t feel like your wife in any way, shape, or form. Not even close! I don’t feel like you’re mine just as I’m sure you don’t feel like I’m yours. We’re two strangers who live together, so I couldn’t care less about what you do and who you’re doing it with.”

You stood.

“We were both just biding our time. Besides, your family went through a great deal of trouble to make sure you married a virgin, so I wasn’t just going to sleep with any man that smiled at me if that’s what you were thinking. It never mattered much to me before, but I do still at least have the chance to make sure it’s with someone I love. I suppose I can thank you for that,” you whispered.

He was quiet, and while this wasn’t out of character for him, this silence felt different. You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I…I really thought we were on the same page-.”

“No…we are. We are,” he said with a nod.

He held your gaze, and you finally placed that look in his eyes. It was a look of realization, as if you were pointing something out to him that he’d never noticed before.

“You…are absolutely right. About everything,” he breathed.

“I really am sorry for springing this on you-.”

“You didn’t,” he quietly interrupted. “You’re right. It was a conversation that needed to be had.”

You nodded, and an awkward silence descended over his office as you two eyed each other.

“If it’s any consolation, you were a good husband,” you told him.

The corner of his lips curved upwards ever so slightly.

“I mean it. You were always nice to me, and I mean, look where I am,” you gestured around. “I’ve never had to want for anything, and you never demanded of me what husbands expect from their wives. Not once in an entire year, and I’m grateful for that.”

He swallowed, nodding.

“I’ll draw up the paperwork,” he said as you turned away.

“Alright.”

He called your name when your hand was on the door, and you looked over your shoulder at him.

“There’s an event I need to attend tonight,” he suddenly said.

“Okay,” you sighed. “What’s the attire? Anything I should wear in particular?”

He eyed you, blue eyes darkening in a way you’d never seen before.

“Wear the green one,” he eventually murmured. “You always look great in that.”

You eyed him for a bit with a frown before eventually throwing him a small smile.

“Will do,” you chirped before closing the door behind you.

The expensive emerald fabric clung to you like a second skin, and you smoothed your hand down it for what felt like the hundredth time that evening. Bucky pressed his fingers into your waist, pulling you closer as his lips grazed your ear.

“You look wonderful. Stop it,” he quietly admonished.

“You know I’m not fond of these soirees. Nothing more than a dick measuring contest,” you scoffed.

You felt his eyes on you, but you were busy looking around. The only upside to these events was reuniting with Nakia and Pepper. Occasionally Nat would be here too, but that was rare. Nat never did anything she didn’t want to do, and this wasn’t really her thing either.

“Looking for someone?”

You turned towards your husband, finding his blue eyes entirely focused on you. His tone was…odd, but you shrugged it off.

“Just Pepper or Nakia. I usually meet up with them whenever you’re off with Steve and Thor and whomever else,” you distractedly answered, smiling over his shoulder as you spotted familiar auburn hair.

You pulled away from him and briefly laid your hand on his arm as you moved to go around him, but you were halted when he reached out to grip your wrist. Confused, you turned to look at him and watched as he sent you a small smile, a rare sight.

“Why don’t we stick together for the evening…”

Your brows rose in surprise as your lips parted, at a loss for words.

“Uh…sure. Okay,” you slowly replied.

He pulled you closer, and your eyes widened. You glanced down when he started to rub circles into your wrist with his thumb.

“I just…really want to enjoy your company tonight,” he explained.

You finally shook yourself out of your stupor, chuckling.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Bucky. I was just…a little surprised is all,” you said, allowing him to pull you along.

The grand building was full of people with money and impure intentions, networking, scheming, or looking for a bedfellow for the night. You smiled politely whenever your eyes connected with someone else’s, unsure if you’d ever get used to the constant stares that always followed your husband, and for the past year, you as well.

However, you felt a genuine smile creep along your lips when you spotted familiar blond hair. An equally familiar blond was standing next to him, his booming laughter reaching your ears. They were chatting amongst themselves, waiting for Bucky no doubt. Steve was facing the two of you, and his smile widened when his eyes met yours. Thor followed his gaze and jumped to action before Steve did.

“Y/N!”

“Thor,” you greeted when he pulled you into a hug.

“I feel as if it has been ages since I’ve last seen you,” he said as you pulled away.

“I’m pretty sure this is the first time she’s remained at Bucky’s side after getting through the door,” Steve teased as he pulled you into his arms.

You laughed and heard your husband grumble behind you.

“That’s hardly true,” Bucky defended.

His arm returned to its place around your waist when Steve finally let you go. A server passed you carrying a tray of flute glasses, and Bucky reached out to grab two. You sent him a grateful smile as you took it from him, turning away to listen to Thor before he had a chance to return it.

As the night wore on, you found yourself lost in thought more often than not. It wasn’t that Thor or Steve were boring, far from it in fact. Occasionally, you added something of substance to the conversation, pulling laughter from the three men, but all too soon you felt yourself drifting away again.

It was the first time you and Bucky were ever together during one of these soirees, and you wondered what had changed. You felt yourself growing uncomfortable with his close proximity, his body heat mingling with yours, the tightening of his arm around your waist. Downing the rest of your drink, you gradually pulled away. Bucky’s eyes were inquiring when they met yours.

“I just need some air,” you quietly told him, handing him your empty glass before walking away.

It was a warm night, but the air inside felt hotter and stuffier than that of the balcony for some reason. You took a deep breath, placing your hands on the railing as you looked out over the city. You’d grown up here, but the city life was never for you. You hated the noise and the fact that you couldn’t see the stars at night.

After the divorce, you’d move somewhere more remote. Not a backwoods town straight out of a horror movie, but somewhere quaint. Somewhere far away from Bucky’s, and your parents’, lifestyle. You’d probably meet some nice guy with a boring job, but it was what you wanted. You had nothing against your husband, but you didn’t want to end up with someone like him.

You glanced over your shoulder as the noise from inside briefly reached your ears. You smiled at Steve as he closed the door behind him. He had two drinks in his hand, and you shook your head when he offered you one.

“No, thanks. I’m not much of a drinker, and I’ve already had one,” you told him.

He chuckled.

“You and Buck are so different,” he said, standing beside you.

“Well, you know what they say. Opposites attract,” you sarcastically replied.

He didn’t respond right away, but when he did, he took you by surprise.

“Bucky told me about the divorce.”

You looked at him, blinking.

“I’m sorry,” he eventually said, looking at you.

You let out a soft chuckle.

“I always knew you two gossiped like school children,” you joked before waving him off. “Trust me, there isn’t anything to be sorry about. I’m sure you know by now that our marriage was hardly real anyway.”

Steve frowned at you, leaning against the railing now.

“How do you mean? I mean, I know it was arranged, but…”

“Then I’m sure you know it was only so he could inherit his grandfather’s money,” you told him.

“Well…yeah, but I’m sure that’s not the only reason,” Steve tried to argue.

You almost pitied Steve. He was such a romantic and was clearly struggling with the knowledge that his best friend’s marriage was a sham.

“Steve,” you spoke like you were talking to a child. “Bucky and I are practically strangers…”

He blinked at you, shoulders sagging a bit.

“You’re kidding,” he whispered.

“No,” you sadly replied, shaking your head. “We’re husband and wife in name only. There’s literally nothing about our relationship that would indicate we’re married.”

“Nothing?” Steve wondered in disbelief.

You shook your head with a small laugh.

“I figured you knew all of the details. Bucky tells you everything…”

“Apparently not,” he mumbled, taking a sip from one of the glasses. “…and you’re…okay?”

There was concern in his eyes when they met yours again, and you threw him a reassuring smile.

“I promise. Since the beginning it was obvious what this really was. His grandfather has passed, and Bucky has his millions,” you said with a shrug. “There’s no reason for us to stay together.”

“This is a lot for me to process,” he whispered, looking dazed. “So…you’re just going to do what? Leave?”

“Yeah,” you breathed. “This lifestyle was never for me. I’m not sure where I’ll go yet, but…it’ll be somewhere quiet, I know that.”

“It’s a shame. You grew on me,” he said.

You glanced at him.

“You too…and Thor, and…as much as I hate to admit it…even Loki,” you reluctantly confessed.

Steve laughed.

“He’s such an ass, but he’s the funny kind.”

“Depends on your taste in comedy,” Steve argued.

“Well, I think he’s funny,” you defended.

Steve chuckled into his glass.

“Better not let Buck hear that,” he whispered with a teasing grin.

“What? Why?” you questioned, leaning in.

Before Steve could answer, the noise from inside traveled to you, and you both turned to see Bucky standing in the doorway. His blue eyes flickered between you two before he threw you a smile. It didn’t reach his eyes.

“Ready to go?”

You straightened up.

“Sure,” you said, glancing at Steve. “I’ll see you around, Steve.”

“You guys drive safe,” he said. “You should probably let Y/N drive, Buck.”

“Like that will ever happen,” you threw over your shoulder. “Bye!”

Bucky was quiet when you both made it back inside. That wasn’t unusual, but his silence tonight was stifling. It put your nerves on end. Before you could even think to question him, his hand was on your arm. You almost stumbled in your heels as he pulled you along.

“Hey,” you protested, but it was as if he didn’t hear you.

He didn’t wave anyone goodbye on the way out, and he was incredibly short with the valet as soon as you made it outside. When you finally stopped, you attempted to pull away from him, but his grip only tightened. You winced and glared at him.

“Bucky,” you called, but he ignored you.

With a huff, you looked away from him as you both waited for his car to be pulled around. It had started to grow cooler, and Bucky’s hand on your arm felt like a heating pad. When the boy finally pulled the car around, your husband wasted no time in dragging you towards the passenger seat. His haste caused you to stumble, and you gasped when your heel broke.

“Bucky-!”

“Get. In,” he harshly interrupted, practically shoving you into the car.

You barely slid your foot inside before he slammed the door. You blinked at it in shock, eventually moving to pull your seatbelt over you. You glared at him when he slid into the driver’s seat, yanking the door out of the valet’s grip to slam it shut.

“What the hell is your problem?” you demanded just as he sped off.

He didn’t reply, knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel. You stared at him, waiting for an answer, and when it was apparent you weren’t going to get one, you looked away with a huff. The silence in the sporty car was thick and filled with tension. Only, you didn’t know why.

You knew that in a line of work like his, it required Bucky to do certain things or act a certain way. You knew that he wasn’t as docile as he seemed with you, but that was just the thing. You’d never been on the receiving end of it. Not once in your entire year of marriage.

You were the first out of the car when he pulled into your driveway. You clutched your heels in your hand as you stomped into the house, not even bothering to look back. You didn’t hear the door open and close until you were in the kitchen, staring sadly at your ruined shoes. You would love to get them fixed, but Bucky was so wasteful. He’d tell you to toss them and then get you a new pair.

They hit the bottom of the trashcan just as he strode into the kitchen. You barely spared him a glance as you made your way to the fridge. As much money that goes into those useless black-tie events, you’d think they’d be able to provide decent food.

“What…”

You paused at the sound of his voice, turning and looking at him from beneath your lashes.

“Nothing to say for yourself?”

You frowned at him before straightening, slamming the fridge shut. His jaw was clenched, arms crossed over his chest as he glared at you, blue eyes the coldest you’d ever seen them.

“Excuse me?”

You were positive you’d heard him wrong. He walked towards you, pressing a hand into the island in the center of the kitchen, staring you down.

“The divorce papers haven’t even been written up yet, and you’re already batting those long lashes at Steve,” he quietly spat.

You reared back in shock, mouth parting as you registered his words and the fact that he was entirely serious. You raised your hands in surrender with a humorless chuckle.

“You’re drunk, and I am not entertaining this,” you said, moving to walk past him.

He yanked you to a stop, and you pushed your arm against his hold, but he wouldn’t budge.

“Let go of me,” you demanded.

“Am I wrong?” he sneered, breath reeking of alcohol.

You finally escaped his hold, stumbling into the fridge from the force. Your eyes were wide and filled with confusion as you glared at him.

“What is wrong with you?”

Bucky slammed his mouth shut, staring at you for a painful amount of time before glancing away. He swallowed, jaw ticking as his eyes met yours again.

“I don’t want a divorce,” he quietly admitted.

Your heart skipped a beat, and you stared at him in shock. You must have heard him wrong…you had to… You opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, and you let out a soft disbelieving scoff. You blinked a few times.

“I’m…sorry… What?”

Bucky’s eyes softened.

“I don’t want a divorce,” he repeated with more confidence this time.

Again, you stared at him in shock, mouth gaping like a fish before shaking yourself out of it. You frowned at him, looking at him as if he’d just grown two heads.

“No,” you cried, shock coloring your tone at his audacity.

He blinked, clearly taken aback.

“What?”

“No,” you firmly repeated, moving to leave the kitchen.

He was suddenly there, hand on your arm and blocking your path.

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

You stared at him as if he were crazy before eventually crossing your arms over your chest. Your face was entirely serious.

“Bucky…I’ve wasted an entire year on you,” you deadpanned.

He flinched as if you’d slapped him, brows furrowing.

“I’m sorry if that hurt your feelings or offends you, but…just because I haven’t been miserable, it doesn’t mean that I want to continue with this.”

He didn’t respond so you continued.

“You have what you want. We did our part, and you have your money.”

“I know that…”

“Well then…what is this? What’s happening, right now, because I am extremely confused?”

He reached for you before thinking better of it and pulling his hand back. He looked you over, blue eyes the most emotional you’d ever seen them. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip before speaking.

“I… I want to know you. I mean, we’re married, and…I don’t even know you-.”

“You’ve had an entire year to get to know me. An entire year!”

“I know that,” he whispered, looking away.

“Then where the hell is this coming from?”

He opened and closed his mouth, eyes almost desperate as you shook your head at him.

“God, you’re drunk. You are so drunk, right now, and had I known, I never would’ve let you drive home,” you whispered, moving past him. “You could’ve killed someone!”

He followed.

“See, this, this is why you can’t leave,” he frantically whispered, grabbing your hand, and turning you to face him.

You frowned at him.

“You’re nothing like me. You’re not selfish and you care about people and…”

He reached up to cup your face, and you swatted his hands away as you stumbled back.

“Bucky, you’re drunk!”

“That doesn’t change anything! You are still my wife!”

“In name only! In the entire 13 months that we have been married, you’ve hardly looked at me, acknowledged me, hell, you have never even touched me, given any indication that we are a couple! N-now all of a sudden you don’t want me to leave? Are you kidding me?”

He placed his hands on his hips, staring you down with tears in his eyes, nostrils flaring.

“So…so what? You’re just going to leave me, and then run off with Steve?”

“Oh, my God, not this again,” you groaned, placing your hand on your forehead. “I can’t believe this right now…”

He pointed a finger at you, a dark strand kissing his forehead.

“I saw how he was looking at you! The minute you told him that our marriage wasn’t really a marriage, at all-.”

“You were listening?”

“The minute you told him that, he looked at you entirely different! You are his dream girl,” he mockingly whispered. “You want a nice picket fence in the country with a dog and a cat…”

“Stop it. That is your friend,” you reminded him.

“Who apparently has been eyeing you for a while if it took almost nothing for him to start eye fucking you the minute he realized you were never really mine!”

You reared back, realization hitting you square in the chest.

“Oh my God,” you whispered. “That’s what this is about…isn’t it?”

“No-.”

“It is,” you sneered. “You don’t want me…but…you don’t want anyone else to have me.”

He reached for you, and you stepped back.

“That’s not it. I do want you,” he slowly said.

“Yeah, now,” you scoffed.

“No,” he shook his head. “That’s not…”

“When I came into your office, you were completely taken by surprise… You had never even thought about divorce. Not once,” you said, more to yourself than him.

“Y/N…”

“Did…did you just expect us to continue like this forever?”

You stared at him in disbelief.

“No! Never,” he said, resting his hand on your arm.

“Are you sure? Because that’s…that’s what it’s looking like,” you tearfully said.

Bucky’s eyes were pleading.

“Everything you said to me that day was true. All of it was completely true, but the worst part was that...I had never noticed. I had never paid any attention, but the more you talked, and the more I thought, I realized that you were right, and that somehow, I’d let an entire year just slip by. Hell, even tonight, Steve noticed that we never stick together at those stupid events!”

You rolled your eyes at him.

“How does an entire year just slip by?”

“Y/N…I want us to stay married. I want us to be husband and wife in every sense of the words-.”

“Yeah, now that I want to leave,” you scoffed, pulling away from him. “Now that you’ve run around with God knows who.”

“I never-! Y/N, it isn’t like that,” he said, following you as you made your way towards the stairs.

“Isn’t it?” you threw over your shoulder. “An entire year, you’ve done whatever you want and acted like I don’t exist, and now that divorce is on the table, suddenly, clarity hits you and you want to pay attention to your handy dandy little wife whom you realize has been perfectly waiting around just for you.”

“Y/N!”

“It’s the perfect situation for you.”

You gasped in shock when he gripped your dress, and the sound of tearing fabric hit your ears. You turned to look down at him, eyes meeting his own wide ones before he stared at the fabric in his hand in shock. You looked down at the ruined dress and sighed.

“Y/N,” he whispered, apologetic.

You held your dress together as you turned away from him, ascending the stairs.

“Sleep it off, Bucky.”

“No, not until we resolve this,” he spat, following you.

“There’s nothing to resolve. We’re getting divorced and that’s that,” you said, heading towards your room.

“Y/N!”

“Leave me alone, and go to bed,” you yelled, picking up your pace.

He did the same, and soon you both were running through the hall of the large mansion. He reached out to grip your hair just as you went to turn the corner, and you yelped in pain as he pulled you towards him. He turned you to face him, and you pushed against him.

“Bucky, this isn’t funny,” you cried, pushing him away from you.

He stumbled, but he righted himself with a vengeance, slamming you into the wall. You winced, opening your mouth to talk sense into him when his lips met yours. You yelped against them, eyes wide as he ran his hands over your trembling frame.

“Stop! Bucky, stop,” you begged against his mouth.

He wrapped one arm around you while his other hand gripped your neck.

“I know I never paid attention to you…touched you, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but let me touch you now,” he whispered against your lips. “Let me touch you like a husband should.”

His words sparked fear in you, and with reluctance, you bit down on his lip. Hard. He pulled away with a yelp, and you slipped from in between him and the wall, rounding the corner to get to your room. You were in the process of closing the door when he slammed against it. You knew you were no match for him, even while drunk, so you pulled away from the door and let him fall inside.

You ran to the phone as he pushed himself to his feet. You were on the first 1 when he snatched it out of your hand, his other hand gripping the back of your neck. You winced as his fingers dug into the tendons, hurting you.

“Bucky,” you brokenly pleaded.

He walked you towards your bed, and you had no choice but to let him. Your feet knocked into each other, tears skipping down your face, but he didn’t care. He shushed you when you started to sob, shoving you onto the bed. You struggled to catch your breath as you bounced against it. You sat up as he joined you, pushing against him, but he slapped your hands away and pushed you back down.

As drunk as he was, he was quick in getting his pants undone, his free hand dragging up your leg, sliding under your torn dress. You tried to pull his hand away, but he was determined. You pushed against his chest again, but one hand was suddenly tightening around your neck as he settled himself in between your legs.

You were shaking now, sobs wracking your frame as he pressed his lips against yours. He slid his knees underneath your thighs, forcing your legs apart as you felt him grip your underwear, yanking them to the side.

“Bucky-.”

Your last plea was interrupted by your shriek as he forced himself inside of you. He let out a choked moan against your lips, breath shaky as he sheathed himself to the hilt. Pain filled you, and more tears fell. He let go of your neck, one hand pinning a wrist down while the other reached up to brush his thumb over your cheek. His forearm rested beside your head, and he gently shushed you, wiping your face as he stared down at you.

“It’ll pass,” he murmured, chest heaving.

“I h-h-hate you,” you tearfully spat at him.

He sighed, eyes softening, looking as if you’d hurt him.

“That’ll pass too,” he whispered.

You pushed your free hand against his chest, but he simply pressed his forehead into the mattress, completely caging you in before pulling his hips back. It stung, and you whimpered, fingers pressing into his button down as he began to thrust into you. His groans filled your ears, and you turned your head away to stare at the wall.

Bucky didn’t like that.

He let go of your wrist and gripped your chin. Your terrified eyes met his calmer ones as he hovered over you, and he seemed more sober now. He brushed his thumb along your skin as he curled his hips into yours again and again.

“Eyes on me, honey,” he whispered.

You squeezed them shut, and he huffed.

“Come on, doll. Don’t be like that,” he quietly pleaded, picking up his pace.

You refused to open them, more tears slipping out. You heard him sigh and felt his lips brush over your cheek.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”

You felt like someone was pressing a heating pad in between your legs, and you hated that you liked it.

“I haven’t been treating you right…have I?”

It was taking more effort to keep your eyes shut, and they slowly peeled open. Your vision was blurry, but you could see that his dark hair was brushing along his forehead now, no longer so neat. He kissed you, and your lips trembled.

“I’ve been such a horrible husband. I neglected you,” he whispered, and he sounded pained. “…but all of that’s going to change.”

You didn’t like that you could feel every inch of him as he slid into you, your own body making it easier for him. Although, you suspected that all of it wasn’t just arousal. There was still a dull ache that mingled with the pleasure. His hips stuttered, breath hitching, and your eyes widened. You pressed your hand to his stomach, in hopes to stop him.

“Bucky, you can’t-.”

He swallowed your protests with a kiss, and you grew panicked. You weren’t on anything. You’d never had a reason to be. You were a virgin with regular and bearable periods. There was no need for you to be on any type of birth control. You turned your head away, catching your breath.

“Bucky, stop,” you pleaded, pushing against him. “Please…”

He gripped your hands, pinning them beside your head just as he came inside of you with a groan. You threw your head back, more tears spilling over as he panted above you. He buried his nose into the crook of your neck, inhaling.

“You’re mine, and I promise, I’m going to start acting like it.”

      ~

tags:  @xoxabs88xox​ @darkficreposter​ @mcudarklibrary​ @sebabestianstan101​ @villanellevi​ @readermia​ @jtargaryen18​ @notyourtypicalrose​ @nickyl316h​ @opheliadawnwalker3​  @captainchrisstan @coconutqueen21 @nerdygirl8203​ @hurricanerin​ 

[n7punk]

curious question, will you be explaining your theories on why angella was so unlucky to have met her soulmate two thousand years later? if this is a spoiler, feel free to ignore!

Okay, I wrote an answer to this after I posted Chapter 9, and then I decided to hang onto it to see what might be spoilers, and then I forgot about it lmao. But I found it again, so have an answer that got long enough to become a fic extra.

Knifepoint Fic Extra #2: Soulmates, Angella, & Micah

Perfuma was actually the most right about how immortality works: immortals are beings of love that exist to infuse love and happiness into the universe. They love differently and more intensely than the average person. Basically any famous couple in history (well, the ones famous for loving each other) were at least potential immortals (Bonnie and Clyde come to mind).

If they don't get to share that love with the world, then they become immortal to fulfill their purpose. Your soulmate is the person you love with every fiber of your being. It isn't predetermined. This is why I said the bond must be mutual: no matter how understanding you are, if they don't love you back, it's not going to be enough.

This is a big crux of why Catra and Adora weren't technically soulmates before they died: at the time of Adora's death, they never got to be in a real relationship and Catra had doubts that Adora could love her the same way, and for Catra's death, she was certain that Adora didn't love her and all of it was just a dalliance.

For Angella, she struggled to find someone to treat her right (she was actually married at the time of her death, but she was married off without a choice) back in 200 BCE when she was basically property. The more time that passed, the harder she found it to connect with mortals (especially as she gathered knowledge and became jaded).

Eventually she only interacted socially with other immortals because she couldn't take more mortals dying around her (leading to her building her immortals network), but part of her was still holding out for her soulmate, she just couldn't imagine them being a mortal after all the deaths, wars, etc she had seen.

She stopped really interacting with mortals and slowly became less and less emotionally invested with people to numb herself to the pain of them passing on, all while still clinging on to the notion that one day, she could find her soulmate, but because she got used to "long-form" relationships taking place over hundreds of years, she never became invested enough to form a soulmate bond.

Micah came along at a time when Angella was basically just... tired of being jaded. He broke through to her with his energy, youthfulness, excitement, and loving personality. She found herself taken with him, but she thought she was just "waking up" from her long period of despair. She was also still convinced that her soulmate could only be someone who was immortal, because how could a young mortal ever understand her after all that she had seen?

Angella wanted to grow past her hundreds of years though, no matter how unconscious that desire was. No one but a young mortal could really be her soulmate at that point, but it took her a long time to open herself to such a relationship with a mortal. Angella knew her time with Micah was limited, so she threw every fiber of herself into their relationship in a way she never would have with another immortal that she knew she would always have time with.

Micah changed her. He made her appreciate the fleeting nature of life again. As a result, a few years in she realized there had never been anyone who effected her like he did and she didn't think there ever would be again. After thousands of years, a mortal broke through to her and became her soulmate. Micah was, of course, a potential immortal and loved like one, but they had already had many happy years of loving each other and he was locked in as mortal when she realized.

[foolgobi65]

i really wish the writers of lucifer hadn't turned chloe and maze's friendship into such an afterthought! like ok:

- when they start in season 2, both of them are in pretty isolated places socially. chloe, already a pretty introverted workaholic, is just newly divorced and has exactly one (1) friend: lucifer. maze has finally split off from lucifer and has two (2) friends: linda and trixie, but for the purposes of this comparison linda really is maze's one friend. maze has just accepted that she's not actually going back to hell, that this time on earth isn't really just a lunch break before they go back to the real world (hell) and so she now has to figure out how to build a real life in LA.

- basically, both maze and chloe are kind of in similar positions in terms of being isolated and really only having a singular overwhelming relationship with someone as opposed to having a network they can rely on so that all their eggs aren't in one basket. you can see where this backfires on both of them throughout the series when linda spends the week not talking to maze after seeing lucifer's face, and when lucifer runs off to vegas and suddenly chloe is stuck with all these feelings she can't express (and crucially can't talk about to him, her best friend.) ofc lucifer and maze's relationship transcends friendship just based on their immense history and is its own weird thing that i also kind of wish they had given more thought to, but w/e.

- enter: maze and chloe's friendship! i think for both maze and chloe, the other person is as "far" as you could get from themselves, but is fascinatingly still someone they can like, respect, love, and be loyal to. for a good while (and this is something i REALLY wish they had maintained) chloe, maze, and dan are basically raising trixie together which takes so much respect and trust that the other person is someone you want having a hand in influencing a kid you love! i think what's interesting is that, unlike lucifer who is trying to answer existential questions about his place/purpose in the universe, maze is really just focused on the people she cares about and having a good time (which is rooted in her doing meaningful work as a bounty hunter.) chloe is someone who pursues duty to the point of self-sacrifice, and obviously her friendship with lucifer helps her loosen up, but the pedestal he places her on/reverence he sometimes feels for her prevents him from really popping that bubble in the same way maze does. also chloe and lucifer's relationship gets SO much more complicated around the time maze enter's chloe's life so the role that lucifer once had to shock chloe out of her comfort zone kind of goes to maze once chloe has to draw some personal boundaries with lucifer.

- i think the key to maze and chloe's friendship is that they're both people who desperately need someone who embodies the other person's best trait. while this tendency isn't always healthy, maze is fundamentally someone very loyal to those she believes deserves it. obviously she's also betrayed people a billion times but at her core she's deeply committed to those she cares about which is something that i can see chloe find really appealing. at this point chloe has spent so much of her life in this weirdly precarious position where, since her dad's death she hasn't been able to fully trust anyone or open up to them. obviously she loves dan, but its clear that even when they're still "good" he doesn't trust her instincts or potential like he should, and when he spent those months gaslighting her the issue for her even beyond the fact that he shot malcom would have been that he didnt support or trust his wife. the appeal of lucifer is that from the beginning he identifies that she's smart and moral with good instincts. he trusts her, and strangely over the season she begins to trust him too! and then he runs off to vegas, etc etc lol. maze's primary loyalty probably isn't to chloe, but we see that to the best of her capacity she wants chloe to be happy -- she gets the prison warden killed, she "tries" and then really does listen to chloe venting about lucifer, attends the parent night chloe was stressed about, sets aside her grudge with lucifer to find chloe.

- in turn, chloe's best trait is her ability to accept people as they are and see their potential. of course she doesnt really have that many friends, but the people she is attracted to are all works in progress (dan is obvious, as are lucifer and maze lmao, but there's also ella who confesses something very personal and scary to chloe and gets a hug in return, and even charlotte who chloe's had clashes with both as charlotte and Mom for years but still gets the benefit of the doubt.) maze does have to change when she comes to live with chloe and trixie, but we see trixie grow up heavily influenced by maze in ways that makes it clear that chloe must genuinely like maze, or those influences like the handshake and the passion for gore and the knife training wouldnt have been allowed. we know that the reason maze is so loyal to lucifer is that he was the first person to ever accept her for who she was unconditionally, without shame or judgment. we see that for lucifer chloe is that person, especially because she sees his potential for growth just as she sees maze's. because she doesnt have preconcieved notions of what they're supposed to be she only sees them as people going through a difficult period of growth and supports them as best she can: reminding maze that they're friends, worrying about her in canada, trusting her with trixie who is the most important person in chloe's life.

- of course, chloe and maze have lucifer and linda but narratively lucifer and linda become so much MORE for chloe and maze. the show sunk linda/maze lmao but linda's clearly the adult maze cares most about just as lucifer is chloe's. and for both in s3 this person they each place so much of themselves into suddenly hurts them and they both spiral. i think there was real potential for chloe and maze to become each other's support and develop into a really steady, enduring friendship in contrast to the chaos of their individual romances (you will NEVER convince me that triangle was about amenadiel rather than linda lmao.) even post s3, they don't really address that maze really hurt chloe by pushing her towards pierce, and that chloe hurt maze by lying to her. i really think there could have been a lot of growth from maze going back to living with chloe and trixie after making full ammends and chloe realizing that actually, yes she can deal with this and it isn't that scary and then the tragedy of her maybe missing her shot with lucifer becomes more stark. we see chloe and maze teaming up in the first episode of 5A but then they blow that up too! i get that chloe needs space and its clear they're both using the other as placeholders for the people they really want, but there's no reason that they couldnt have come back together later and re-established their friendship on screen. obv they wouldnt work together after lucifer comes back, but to me this is where i believe they should go back to living together. without that, maze's connection to trixie in terms of what they can show on screen becomes tenuous and chloe's home life just becomes less interesting/worthwhile to see bc it'd just be her or maybe her with trixie. without that, it feels like we just see a lot of chloe either at work or in relation to lucifer (bc thats the best bang for your buck in terms of interaction!) we do get to see maze with linda, which is nice, but idk just feels like a step back from early s3 when maze felt more embedded in a community of people who liked, accepted, and cared about her wellbeing.

- i think one of the issues is that chloe and maze's friendship might have seemed like a knock off of their "main" relationships with lucifer and linda bc they have similar dynamics with them, but idk! there's a sense of fun that we get from their friendship that we dont really see from the main pairings because those are so serious and passionate and the main mechanisms by which the 4 grow so there isn't as much room for the lighter stuff. i know i said that chloe sees the potential for growth but she's not really pushing maze to talk about her feelings. she's doing the dishes maze won't, smiling at maze and trixie's handshake, shrugging off the fact that maze is throwing knives at their rented walls. maze and chloe create space for each other to be seen as themselves, good or bad, in ways that linda and lucifer can't for whatever reason. they don't really push each other, just let the other person be. it wouldnt be the ideal dynamic if they were the only person in each other's lives, but i think its vital to have someone in your life who can, in chloe's case, gently push you outside of your comfort zone and in maze's case offer acceptance, friendship, and trust.

idk this is just going in circles as i repeat the same points over and over and over but i really wish they had put more thought into sustaining the maze and chloe friendship throughout s4 and s5 because it would have brought out notes in both of them narratively that i think are lost otherwise. also its just sad for trixie that someone who was basically part of her family who she was living with is just...not there anymore and that's never addressed. : (

[mediaevalmusereads]

The Devil Comes Courting. By Courtney Milan. Self-Published (?), 2021.

Rating: 4.5/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Worth Saga #3

Summary: Captain Grayson Hunter knows the battle to complete the first worldwide telegraphic network will be fierce, and he intends to win it by any means necessary. When he hears about a reclusive genius who has figured out how to slash the cost of telegraphic transmissions, he vows to do whatever it takes to get the man in his employ. Except the reclusive genius is not a man, and she’s not looking for employment. Amelia Smith was born in Shanghai, and taken in by English missionaries. She’s not interested in Captain Hunter’s promises or his ambitions. But the harder he tries to convince her, the more she realizes that there is something she wants from him: She wants everything. And she’ll have to crack the frozen shell he’s made of his heart to get it.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: graphic sexual content, racism (mostly microaggressions), references to child abduction

Overview: I'm a simple girl. I see a new Courtney Milan book, I read it. I was expecting this book to be good, but I wasn't expecting it to be so raw, emotional, and satisfying in almost every way. If I had to quibble, I would say that I would have liked to see a stronger focus on developing the romance, but as it stands, The Devil Comes Courting is an engaging read that deftly deals with topics such as colonialism, racism, grief, and family.

Writing: Milan's prose, as always, feels effortless while delivering a lot of information. It balances telling and showing well, and evokes a lot of emotion without feeling burdened by flowery language.

The only criticism I have is that in the first half of the book, there are some phrases that characters use that start to feel repetitive. It isn't a big deal, as they're supposed to be repeated (as a way for characters to remind themselves of things), but as a reader, I felt a little irritated. Luckily, this repetition clears up by the second half of the book, so if you also feel annoyed, you don't have to wait long.

Plot: The plot of this novel revolves around Grayson Hunter, a Black man intent on connecting China to America via a transpacific telegraph network, and Amelia Smith, a Chinese woman raised by an English missionary and who has invented a way to transmit Chinese characters via wire.

The first half of the book follows Grayson as he convinces Amelia to abandon her mother's plans to marry her off. Appealing to Amelia's ambition, he convinces her to come to Shanghai to work for him, all while building up her confidence and inspiring her. The second half more or less focuses on the development of the telegraph line as well as Amelia's longing for her Chinese mother, Grayson's obsession with work to avoid confronting his feelings of grief, and the budding relationship between the two.

I really loved this plot. It showed us Milan's nerdy interest in a topic (the telegraph line) while also exploring complex emotions connected to the history of colonialism. I loved how Milan handled Amelia's feelings of being torn between cultures, all without excusing the actions of those who participated in colonialism; despite Amelia having complicated reactions to her past, Milan does come down hard on what's right and doesn't try to redeem people who refuse to admit they have done wrong.

If I had any criticism of the plot, I think I would have personally liked to see arcs more strongly defined. There were some moments when I felt like I was just following characters in their day-to-day activities, and while some of it was interesting, there were times when I was wondering what larger goal the plot was heading towards. This is a minor criticism, however; because of the rich character exploration, I didn't mind following Amelia and Grayson, but if you're a plot person (rather than a character person), you may disagree.

Characters: I love how this book proves that you can have a historical romance about people of color without focusing on suffering.

Amelia, a Chinese woman raised by an English missionary, is quirky in that she's scatter-brained, bright, and kind. I loved that she was portrayed as incredibly smart and ambitious, and that her main character flaw was needing to believe in herself. I also loved how she wrestled with her feelings about her past - Amelia longs to meet her Chinese mother and ask why she left her, and I loved how Milan used that longing to fuel her desire to connect China to the rest of the world via wire.

Grayson, a Black man who obsesses over the telegraph wire as a way to avoid coming to terms with his brothers' deaths, is similarly likeable in that he's ambitious and kind. I loved that he was ruthless in pursuing Amelia (to work for him) but also respected her boundaries and let her make decisions for herself (rather than manipulating her into doing something). I loved the way Milan handled Grayson's grief and how his work on the telegraph was both a worthy project and an externalization of his character flaws.

Side characters were charming as well as helpful for facilitating Amelia's and Grayson's character arcs. Benedict, who is a character from the previous two Worth books, was quite adorable and had a nice little arc of his own. I think Benedict's arc complimented Amelia's and Grayson's well, though it will have more significance if you've read the first two books in the series. I also liked Amelia's adopted brother, Leland, whose arc explores and exposes the immorality of missionary work. Grayson's cousin, Zed, was also delightful in that he pushed Grayson to spend time with his family, which was important for exploring Grayson's complex feelings about his mother.

The book's antagonist (if we can really call her that) is Amelia's adoptive English missionary mother, who I think exhibits the right combination of genuine love for her child and toxic, manipulative behavior. I liked that Milan wrote this character so complexly because it helped explore nuances in the actions of individual colonists. The subtle racism (microaggressions, superiority complex, etc.) worked better, in my opinion, than overt racism (slurs, etc.) because they painted a more realistic and interesting picture of someone who believes she is doing good while actually doing a lot of harm.

Romance: In my opinion, the romance in this book was less interesting than the independent development of the characters. Don't get me wrong - I loved Amelia's and Grayson's interactions. I loved how they teased each other, I loved how Grayson inspired Amelia to believe in herself, and I loved how Amelia pushed Grayson to find happiness. I also very much enjoyed the little numbered letters that they wrote to each other and how their character arcs paralleled one another (both had to do with family).

But personally, I didn't feel like the romantic aspect of this relationship was passionate enough. I got the vibe that Amelia and Grayson were close confidantes rather than lovers - but it may be my own tastes or even unconscious bias, so I don't think readers should take this as a damning criticism.

I did appreciate, however, that the romance didn't fit the mold of a lot of other romances. Amelia never asks Grayson to change re: settling down, and both respect each other's boundaries. They also both don't want children, and neither of them face pressure to change their minds. As a result, this romance felt unique, and the fact that neither character was an upper class person in England helped a lot, too.

TL;DR: The Devil Comes Courting is a rich, evocative romance that explores colonialism, family, and grief without wallowing in misery. The unique, likeable characters on their own are enough to love this novel, but the deviation from romance genre norms (such as setting, social class, etc.) will surely satisfy readers looking to expand their horizons.

[ladyartemesia]

How does one go about making friends?

That’s an interesting question, anon... I suppose it depends on whether you’re talking about on-line or in-person. I can share my experiences with both and hopefully that will provide insight...

(Though I am not really an expert, by any means, I suppose that having friends does make me at least marginally qualified to give advice about it.)

(Also - please assume that any in-person interaction I mention is carried out with ALL appropriate and applicable safety measures in place with regards to the pandemic.)

In-Person

I suppose this sort of friendship could come from school, or church, or on a team, or in a club, or at a party, or any thing where people habitually gather... I usually wait until I hear someone speak on something I know about and then chime in with thoughts and discussion. People like to be listened to. If you want to make friends, try and listen intently (I mean don’t be fake lol but if you are intent on forming a connection then effort is required obviously) and maybe ask questions that will keep them talking (if they seem interested in the topic).

There are often moments that can be shared, like a professor being too hard or some thing silly happening that can be used as conversation starters. Shared micro-experiences like this (and subsequent discussions of them) are excellent building blocks for friendship.

Honestly... being honest about trying to make connections is really good as well. You may feel uncomfortable with that and worry what people think but ... if someone were to say to you, “I would just like to make more friends,” would you look down on them? And if that person does look down on you for this type of honesty... is that really the type of person you want to be friends with anyways? We are social creatures, we should never be ashamed of our desire for connection.

It is important to recognize boundaries in a growing friendship. Adults have many demands on their time and therefore cannot always be available for each other. Respecting this is vital. Empathy in general is vital. This goes for in-person and on-line.

Inviting these individuals to shared experiences is important as well. Come over to play games, let’s go have dinner, let’s just take a walk... etc. It may feel in the beginning like you are initiating all of this, but that is OK seriously, you are the one trying to make the friend after all. My current best friend of 15 years who I would legit charge into a burning building for... she called me every day for weeks. She always asked me to hang out. I was kind of an aspiring hermit at that tender young age, but she was persistent and one day I realized I couldn’t imagine not having her there. Retrospectively I was not pulling my weight in the beginning of our friendship, but she wanted to be my friend so she put in the work. She was my maid of honor. When she struggled with unprecedented challenges after her first child, I took off days of work to be by her side. We have travelled to England and the Bahamas and a ton of states together. Her friendship is one of the most important relationships in my life. I have pulled her back from the edge and she has done the same for me and you don’t get that if someone isn’t willing to put in the work in the beginning. Not everyone is best friend material - it’s true. But some people are.

There is also, I have found, a pervasive habit among humans to seek out a “desirable” friend group. This means completely different things to every person. For some people, they want stereotypical popular friends, for others they want influential friends, for others they want friends who have idealized lifestyles, for others they want friends who have achieved things... Don’t look for anything like this. Look for commonalities instead. We both love BTS. We both love anime. We both love traveling. We both love... whatever. The desirable traits you may be hoping to collect in a friend group are illusions, constructs, and perceptions... They are nothing in the face of one beautiful connection.

On-Line

My closest friends online became my friends when no one read our work (except for Donna, but she is Donna and is therefore the exception to most rules) - as I was saying - we joined a few network and collab chats here and there and shared each other’s stories... We started to talk about our experiences... We bonded over BTS. We talked about fic writers and fics we loved. Eventually we formed our own little server on Discord.

I would definitely recommend joining network chats or joining general discord chats. There are a bunch of them floating around. Kinktae and Gukyi run one of the best ones out there called the BTSSmutHub and it’s fabulous. I have made many friends there. Everyone in there is always willing to talk. They even host game nights and I have so much fun... Truly a lovely group.

Honestly... with Donna ( @taetaewonderland ) - she messaged me and began to talk to me about my work and what she was working on and it grew from there. She was a much bigger blog, but she liked my edits and I liked her.

Ana ( @xjoonchildx ) and Lindy ( @ppersonna ) and I became friends because we were baby blogs with like 7 notes on each of our stories, but we loved each other’s work and we talked to each other about it. No one really reached out to me or wanted to be my friend back then - I had like 6 followers and I’m pretty sure 4 of them were bots... but the three of us would comment on each other’s stuff and share funny memes in our chat boxes and theorize about the drama big blogs that never spoke to us seemed to always post about. We talked about BTS and the content and how our lives were being affected by the pandemic. Donna became friends with Lindy and we merged our little group together.

Those three are special to me. Truly my friends. We have been through things now. Things I never expected, but they remain a constant. We talk every day. The other three are such social butterflies, they have other group chats that they have friends in as well, but I have always been someone who is a little more reserved in general. I love playing in the Smut Hub server now and then and I am close with a few other blogs who I have small chats or small group chats with and I value them so so much. Because... making friends really ISN’T easy. I mentioned those three ladies because they were my very first friends here and they are incredibly close to me still. (Again - to the other blogs I’m close to - I VALUE YOU SO MUCH I AM JUST TALKING ABOUT THESE THREE CAUSE THEY WERE FIRST AND I FEEL LESS SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT NAME DROPPING THEM 🙈🙈)

I would really just try and interact with blogs who like the things you like. Ana, Donna, Lindy and I bonded because we loved the same kind of stories... We sent in asks to each other and shared things on each other’s feed or tagged each other in games. We shared authors we liked and BTS moments we couldn’t get enough of...

Way more people know who Donna, and Lindy, and Ana are now... (though people did know Donna already lolz) They are so talented and it was only a matter of time before more people than myself realized that. I’m so proud of what they have achieved, and watching their blogs grow has been so rewarding to me. I’m so glad they put effort into being my friend. I couldn’t give them influence or share their work with a huge audience, but they never cared about that... I wish everyone in the world could find friends like mine. They are one in a billion.

Find someone who will hype you up. If you’re a creator, find someone who will be honest with you about your work, for better or for worse. If you’re just a blog looking to read and make connections then making lists and recs and reviews of great BTS content like gifs, fics, and whatever BTS puts out for us is a great way to start conversations. Don’t be afraid to interact. It is the universal signal that you want connection of some sort. Not everyone will interact back, but that is fine... I only needed one Ana - one Lindy - one Donna... they were more than enough. If someone is willing to interact with you, then they probably want connection too. I’m so glad that those three didn’t look at me and think “she isn’t really a very impressive blog” and just brush me off.

[lichfucker]

hey ive been meaning to ask this for a long time but you work in movies, im guessing as a script supervisor? im in school finishing up a media studies degree but i want to go into tv or film production, maybe broadcast. could i ask if you have any advice for what to study or how to get started?

yeah, I'm a script supervisor!

uh this got like 3x longer than I thought it would lmao so I'm putting it under a cut

the tl;dr is: work on student films especially while you are still a student yourself; join facebook groups for productions/crew calls in your city; most people's entry into the industry is as a production assistant; befriend as many people as you can and make sure they all know what your specific ambitions are, so that when those opportunities come up you'll be the first person on their mind

I'll be honest, I studied screenwriting in college but I never took a single film production class and technically my degree is in "liberal arts." I definitely didn't go to Film School and real talk I barely feel like I can even say I was a film STUDENT lmao

so regarding "what to study," I think getting a degree in media studies will suit you just fine and is probably better than what I left college with!

(this is maybe a little disingenuous, because at the end of my senior year I did have the opportunity to do an intensive program where I went through seven weeks of preproduction and six weeks of production on a feature film. so I technically did leave college with some on-set experience and something to put on my resume)

I don't know what crew positions you're interested in (if you wanna talk more about script supervising let me know!!), but for like 99% of on-set positions, being a production assistant is a GREAT way to start out. the vast majority of people start out PAing and transition to other departments from there. every production is always looking for good, reliable PAs. sometimes it's a "you gotta have experience to get experience" kind of thing, but more often than not (ESPECIALLY in the low-budget indie world) producers will be willing to take a chance on a rookie because they could use all the help they can get, and because they pretty much all started out on the bottom as PAs, too. and if you're a PA who can drive (esp trucks but literally anything honestly) then you'll be even MORE valuable

now don't get me wrong, PAing sucks. I know a couple people who like it but I've always hated it. you're the first one on set and the last one to leave, you do a lot of odd jobs and gruntwork (so many folding tables. oh the number of tables I have unfolded). a couple times I was sent out to wait outside a dunkin donuts at 5 am so I could get the director an iced coffee as soon as they opened. you have absolutely no authority, BUT it's still your responsibility to make sure that everyone stays quiet during takes, the actors get out of wardrobe at the right time, etc. it's a lot! it's a lot and it's exhausting and it's THANKLESS work. but it's necessary work, which means there is always need for people who will do it

once you're there, befriend as many people as humanly possible. talk to all of them about your goals. if they like you, they'll remember you, and the likelihood they'll call you for the next gig increases exponentially

as for getting The First Job, though, there are film production facebook groups for every major city I can think of, and they are FULL of people posting jobs, as well as just networking and asking for advice and just chatting with other people in the industry

student films especially are a great way to get on-set experience and just add credits to your resume (trust me nobody will check them, they'll just want to see that you have any credits at all; my resume is full of five-minute shorts my friends produced that will never see the light of day). unfortunately 99.9% of the time they're unpaid, and I do NOT recommend working for free, but I understand that sometimes it's all you can do. (personally I only work for free for my friends, and only a select few of my friends, but it took a while before I felt confident enough to set that boundary for myself.)

now, while you're still in school, is a GREAT time to knock out some shorts and start building your credits. it's hard if you're studying remotely right now, but if you're on campus then ask around, ask your professors, find out who's filming their short for x class or y thesis and ask if they need people on set helping out (because I guarantee you they do. they probably have one person on camera, maybe one more helping w lights, and if they're lucky they found a single person on earth interested in doing sound. they'll be sourcing their own costumes and props, actors will be doing their own hair and makeup, etc. their crews will be BARE BONES and they will love you for saying "I'm here to help, use me however you need")

it's bullshit but this really is an industry built on knowing someone who knows someone who knows someone, so the best thing you can do is to just befriend as many people as you possibly can. befriend your professors. befriend your fellow film students! (they may have connections that you don't, and more importantly you'll all be newbies entering the industry at the same time and you'll need each other. trust me on this. these people will be a resource you tap into again and again, especially if you're in a department a little less common than production or camera. I get recommended for a lot of gigs because for most of my friends, I'm the ONLY script supervisor they know.) befriend the people in these facebook groups! don't be afraid to ask them "hey, would you be willing to let me shadow you for a day?" most people remember what it's like to be just starting out and struggling to get your foot in the door. most people are willing to help if they can. if you meet one asshole, you met one asshole. there are so many more who are kind and generous and eager to help. I promise

I hope this is helpful to you and not. overwhelming lmao. I'm sorry it's a lot sldfsdf if you have more specific questions please let me know! film work is grueling and intense and frequently utter horseshit but I feel so honored and privileged to be able to do it (on some level for me it very much is a function of privilege), and if it's where your passion lies then I hope you create every opportunity you can to go after it

[aal-archaeology]

Words from a so-far successful archaeologist (25 years old/recent Ph.D. admit)

Hello Everyone!  I have revived my Tumblr to find many messages asking “what do I do next” when it comes to Archaeology/Anthropology. So I thought I’d create a post explaining what I went through to get to where I am now, and hopefully give some information to those who are pondering on the next steps to take in this truly wonderful field of study.  Quick academic about me: 

Undergrad: Ivy League, Major: Anthropology-Geography, Minor: Religion

After Undergrad: 1 year of Cultural Resource Management (CRM) & Substitute teaching

Graduate School: England MSc in Archaeological Information Systems

After Graduate: 10-month long research grant in Cambodia

Now: (USA)  Ph.D. Candidate in Anthropology, Archaeology Track

I come from a low-middle class family, all of my academics have been funded through financial aid or through grants that I’ve applied for. A lot of the time school and research can get expensive, but that doesn’t mean you have to be wealthy to pursue it!

Per usual, please feel free to DM me at any point with questions (here or IG @ aal.archaeology), I’m always happy to help to the best of my ability. Success in this field is really dependent on networking!

I’ll set this up based on the various landmarks of my academic career: 

1. Undergrad

Themes: Ask for help, build your resume, write down everything

No matter where you are going to school, it is so so so important to use the resources around you. Becoming a professor is HARD work, and each one of your professors went through a lot to be able to stand in front of you and teach you. They’ve likely had years and years of research experience, which is probably still happening behind the scenes of teaching and grading papers. More often than not, professors want to help you, they want students to be excited about the research they’ve worked so hard on, and they want to do what they can to help you achieve your career goals.  Therefore, if there’s a class you’ve taken or a professor whose research you’re interested in, tell them. This is how I got my first experience with archaeology (before I even knew that I wanted to do archaeology). I randomly took an Anthropology class that sounded cool, and after the first class, I was like WOW I love this topic so much and I really want to know more about it. I went up to the professor that was teaching it, told her I was really interested and asked if she knew of any research opportunities available. She then hired me as a student researcher in her lab to do data entry for one of her archaeological projects in Mesoamerica, and after working for her for a few months, she asked me if I wanted to go with her and her team to Mexico for fieldwork. 

         (my timeline at this point: 19 years old, end of Sophomore year)

From this experience, I learned how to apply to grants within the University and funding outside of the University, and was able to FULLY fund my research experience in Mexico. During this fieldwork, I got to work with 3000-year-old artifacts, do archaeoillustration, and eventually got my own chapter published in the book that my professor wrote about the research that was done.

After I got back from Mexico, I started exploring archaeology further. A new professor entered the department who specialized in “digital archaeology,” and his research involved tracking looting patters in Syria using satellite imagery. I thought this was crazy so I then went up to him and asked if I could help him with his research. (the common theme throughout this entire process is just asking for help). From this experience, I learned that I loved the possibilities that technology brought to the study of archaeology, everything from 3D modeling to identification of sites in satellite imagery to spatial mapping in GIS. With this professor, I was able to form an “internship” with him, and continued doing that and other minor projects within the department. I ended up modifying my major to incorporate coursework from the Geography department and created my own “Digital Archaeology” major.

        (my timeline at this point: 22 years old, Senior year)

As graduation began to creep closer, I had been able to get a good amount of lines on my resume. I had:

research assistant/ data entry

fieldwork in mesoamerica

x2 internships with digital archaeology prof

multiple “small” projects around the department i.e. making posters, painting 3D prints of bones,

all of the coursework I had done on GIS/ relevant digital experience

started a drone club at my school (it flopped, but it still counts as a line on the resume!)

All of these lines became useful when starting to think of jobs and the “next step”

UNDERGRAD HIGHLIGHTS & TAKEAWAYS:

Ask for help, your professors are there for a reason, it will almost always lead you to new opportunities. These relationships last well beyond your graduation and definitely come in handy later, make it count!

Write down EVERYTHING that you do. Did you help out with a conference? Write it down. Did you do a couple hours of data entry? Write it down.

Follow your leads! I started my anth journey in Mesoamerica and ended my undergrad in Near Easter digital archaeology (and I entered college wanting to do astronomy?). Change is natural, let it happen.  

2. Gap Year Between Undergrad and Grad School

Highlights: Job applications, field school, CRM, uncertainty

Something that I was always told during my undergrad was that you really need to do a field school and some CRM to be taken seriously post-grad. This shows that you actually want to be an archaeologist outside of the classroom environment. Field Schools and CRM give you valuable experience such as: excavation methodology, report writing, grant applications, teamwork, leadership, etc. 

I started applying for jobs probably about 5 months before I graduated and ended up securing a job at a CRM company in LA. They liked how much I had done during my undergrad, but they really wanted me to have a field school under my belt before I started working for them. Because I had already graduated and didn’t need course credit, I was able to do my field school at a discounted price (these things really do get expensive, and this was a difference of about $2k). I think this worked out in my favor waiting until the summer after I graduated because it saved me a lot of money in the end. 

After my field school was done, I started work that September in CRM. This job ended up being nothing like what I thought it would be, to be honest. I was an Archaeological Field Technician that was part-time/on-call, meaning I only got work when they needed someone to go monitor a construction site. I only got work once every month, sometimes every couple of months, so I was making hardly any money. I realized this quickly and decided to become a substitute teacher to supplement the CRM job. I HIGHLY recommend doing this if you end up in the same situation. Not only does subbing fill up all of your non-working days, but it also gives you the flexibility to choose when you can work and gives you teaching experience that you can put on your resume. That CRM experience can be really important, so it’s good to stick it out long enough to quit.

      Why didn’t I like CRM? For me, my job was very sparse, included driving long hours to a construction site, sitting there all day in case archaeological material popped up, and then driving home. Sometimes it was just walking back and forth across a massive field full of cow poop looking for arrowheads, and often it felt like I was just clearing land so that a big building could be erected. I was really missing the research component to all of it. The pay was also not great. 

GAP YEAR HIGHLIGHTS AND TAKEAWAYS:

What I got from this year was very valuable, even though it wasn’t necessarily that fun, however. 

I got the experience I needed in CRM

I got some teaching experience (also volunteered to mentor clubs and research at local high schools during this time)

I started doing some networking (I found some alumni that were doing work that I wanted to be doing and reached out to them)

and most importantly, I realized that I really do love school and wanted to go back for my Masters

So I started looking into Masters's programs. This is kind of a scary thing especially in the US because school is expensive. I still really wanted to do Digital Archaeology, and I couldn’t find a single program in the US had a focus in this topic, and especially couldn’t find one that I was willing to pay for. 

The UK, however, had plenty of Digital Archaeology programs, and the programs were only a year long and a fraction of the price in the US. I decided to take a chance and apply, got in, and then suddenly I was moving to England. (in hindsight I really didn’t spend much time at all making this decision, but it worked out in the end). 

3. Masters Program

         (my timeline at this point: 23-24 years old)

I chose the program I applied to based on its focus on the techniques that I wanted to use, namely, remote sensing, GIS, and 3D modeling. I really wanted a degree qualification that spoke for itself, and therefore applied for an MSc in “Archaeological Information Systems.” 

I had done some networking during my gap year and connected with an alumnus who was doing research in Cambodia using digital methods, and she offered me the opportunity to join her fieldwork. I agreed to join her in Cambodia during my degree, and also applied for a research grant for the year following my master's degree to continue fieldwork in Cambodia. 

I used this opportunity to fuel my dissertation topic and focused all of my writing and coursework throughout my grad school experience around Cambodia. While I was surrounded by people studying Roman architecture and Medieval Studies, I spent my time doing independent work and building a network in Cambodia. 

This program was a great experience for the most part, I was surrounded by beautiful medieval architecture and had a great community throughout. I personally didn’t really like the UK school system compared to what I had received in the US, however. This was largely because of the way coursework was set up. (If you want to know more just DM me).

MASTERS HIGHLIGHTS AND TAKEAWAYS:

Follow networking opportunities, and find someone doing what you want to do (or close to it) and let them help you take the steps to get there

If you’re going to do grad school, do it in something you know you love. Don’t waste money on a program that isn’t right for you.

Make sure that the program you apply to allows for flexibility so that you can do research on what YOU want, not what THEY want.

Halfway through my Master's degree, I received word that I had been accepted for the research grant (Fulbright) and would spend the next year living in Cambodia doing independent research.

4. Gap Year Between Masters Program and PhD

If you’re planning on a Ph.D., I think its a really good idea to do something before applying that relates to what you want to be studying. This shows that you’re dedicated to your research and to a life in academia, and have the ability to produce something from your work. 

My master's degree was nice because 1) it was short, only a year-long, and 2) allowed me to focus research on what I was interested in. This gave me the experience I needed to lead into a year of independent research.

This year of independent research was definitely contingent on receiving the grant in the first place, and I think that I would have started job searching again had I not received it. However, the small things I did leading up to applying for it really helped in qualifying me to receive it. 

     I had:

All of the undergraduate research experience

CRM experience

teaching experience

fieldwork experience

a master’s degree that focused on the region 

established a network of people in the country beforehand

a couple “publications” from fieldwork 

This grant fully funds me living in Cambodia, and has allowed me to participate in cultural exchange with some amazing people here in addition to allowing me to partake in archaeological fieldwork across the country. 

Again, I cannot stress enough how important it is to network. If you like something, find someone else who likes the same thing, send them an email.

Networking got me my experience in Mesoamerica, Digital Archaeology, my CRM job, my research experience in Cambodia, and so so much more. All because I sent that first email.

5. PhD Applications

I applied to 1 school. I got in. Its a really good school. I’m still in shock. 

However, I think I really did set myself up for success in this one. 

The biggest advice I can give in the world of Academia is:

NETWORK

Talking to people who have gone through what you’re going through are the BEST help. They can mentor you through these experiences, offer you new opportunities, or lead you in the direction of someone else who can help.

PLAN AHEAD (but be open to change)

Okay, so you’re applying to grad school. What do you want to focus on while you’re there? What do you want to do with the degree when you’re done? Do you want to start working? Do you want to do more research? What opportunities are out there for research funding? What is the job market looking for? Is there anyone in my network that can help me get there?

None of these have to be concrete plans, they just have to exist in some shape or form so that you have the ability to latch on to one when the opportunity arises.

If you’re doing something that you love doing, you’ll find a way to make it happen. All opportunity comes from the amount of effort you put into getting it! Thanks for reading and best of luck on your studies! Also Happy Anthropology Day! :)  -Lyss 

[imthefailedartist]

Spinning FRIENDS

A hobby of mine is coming up with film and TV show ideas. The following are my ideas for “Friends” spin-offs. These are all set in that 90’s early 00’s sitcom style.

Monica and Chandler Geller-Bing- Follows them as they adapt to parenthood and moving from the city to the suburbs and the commute. Monica enjoys the suburban life; Chandler is having trouble. The twins are three and entering preschool where Monica gets into competitions with the other super parents. Chandler is too sensitive for the other dad’s they become best friends with their quirky new neighbors. Monica keeps trying to impress the Homeowners Association but to no avail. Chandler learns more about himself and his childhood and how he wants to be as a parent.

Phoebe Buffay*- The show follows Phoebe as she begins working at a spa. Each episode revolves around a quirky client and how phoebe deals with them. The owner, the receptionist, rival masseuse, friendly masseuse and one regular client are the main cast along with phoebe. Mike rarely appears. (He was a cute boyfriend for Phoebe, but I hated that they ended together.)

Joey Tribbiani- Joey moves to Los Angeles and into an apartment building filled with other people who want to be involved in film or television. His new neighbors/friends are an actress, a writer, a director, an actor, an actor who looks just like Joey lives in the building, but they are adamant that they do not look alike, Joey loses some jobs to him. Joey is still a Casanova and is wooing the ladies, but he has a will they/won’t they relationship with the writer. The landlord is a once famous actor who fizzled out of Hollywood, he becomes Joey’s mentor. This would not necessarily be an ensemble show like Friends, but it would focus more on Joey. The other characters would get stories and development. However, it would not be uncommon for those characters to not appear or only show up for few minutes of some episodes This style would also allow for the reverse so the show could focus on the story of the other characters.

I think the original idea for Joey to be the one character that gets a spin-off was great but from what little I’ve seen of “JOEY” the showrunners and writers did not care about connecting the show to Friends, which is a shame. They could have hard reset his character back to “Friends” season one Joey, a lovable goofball, Casanova adjusting to Hollywood vs. New York.

Friends guest appearances on the Joey spin-off

Chandler visits and wants to paint the town red, being free of dad life suburban life, etc. he comes to town and Joey takes him to all kinds of Hollywood parties, but he falls asleep or gets tired. Joey feels bad but Chandler says it’s the second most fun he’s ever had- hint, hint.

Phoebe is brought to town by a client working on a movie she visits Joey and she of course has a gaggle of strange friends that she and Joey get into weird trouble. She gets him a small part in the movie because she cannot stop talking about how great he is.

Ross comes to town just to visit. He takes Joey to museums. Joey is bored and uninterested, but at each spot he meets the same girl and tries to talk to her, Ross unknowingly cock-blocks him, taking him to another exhibit or museum. The episode ends with Ross realizing that the girl is stalking Joey. Her character pops up occasionally throughout the show.

Rachel comes to town for LA Fashion Week she invites Joey. In attendance is a major director Joey hopes to schmooze. While backstage he encounters a hot model who flirts with him but he keeps getting blocked by a male model who is younger and has abs. Joey is eating a burger and the male model eats it in a desperate hunger because he’s been starving himself for the runway, he gets sick because of the unhealthy food. Rachel has no choice but to replace the model with Joey, who is reluctant because he wants to talk to director during the show. Joey goes down the runway in his Joey way and Rachel is embarrassed and thinks she is going to get fired, Joey thinks the director will never take him serious as an actor. Instead everyone loves Joey and he starts getting modeling offers as the new “Anti-Model” model. Rachel gets a promotion and Joey gets a nice part in the director’s new movie. Rachel comes to the apartment to thank Joey and just hangout, while there she meets The Writer, and notices the chemistry between them she points it out to Joey and begins the actual story of Joey realizing he has feelings for the writer.

Monica is in LA for a food expo. Joey is shooting a movie with a movie star that Monica loves, he plans to bring her to set so she can meet him. Arriving at his place with a large cooler of food she is taken aback at his surprisingly filthy apartment. Monica never leaves, she misses the entire expo and set visit because she cannot stop cleaning. Smelling the delicious food his new friends come over Joey introduces her to his new friends; we find out that Monica’s restaurant is super successful. She offers to make them dinner, they refuse, she insists, they accept and give her a laundry list of dietary restrictions, she looks forward to the challenge. Monica makes the meal and they enjoy it she learns more about them and tells Joey she was worried about him but knows that he has friends and people who love him just as much as the New York bunch. Its time to go home and Joey feels bad because he did not get to show Monica the movie set because she spent it cleaning up his mess. She says it was the best gift he could have ever given her.

Gunther’s spin-off would revolve around Central Perk. The show would mainly feature the café employees with Gunther as their boss. The staff are all different archetypes, there are a few regulars who make appearances.

Whilst all my previous Friends spin-off ideas are twenty-two-minute sitcoms set in the 90’s my idea for Rachel and Ross is modern and is a dramatic comedy for a premium cable network or streaming service (twenty-five to thirty minutes, no commercials). My Rachel and Ross spin off takes place ten years after Friends.

I am one of those people who always thought Rachel should have gone to Paris. I hated that the show kept Ross and Rachel on the table after they broke up in season three. Seven seasons (i.e. years) had passed, it is not like they ever got back together during any of the seven years apart. Sex does not count as together. Also, to me the writers never wrote anything compelling enough about the two of them during those seven years that made me believe they would last. The catalyst of the show is Rachel gets a big career opportunity that would cause the family to have to rework somethings in their lives but overall it would have little effect on their overall lives, Ross asks her to turn it down because he cannot see past the changes, Rachel turns it down. A time later Ross gets a career opportunity that would uproot the entire family and have effects on everyone in the family. Rachel tells him to turn it down because the family cannot handle that kind of change suddenly. Ross takes it anyway.

Ross and Rachel- The iconic couple are getting divorced after so many years together. Rachel realizes that she has given up so much career wise, and that he is just not the husband and father she thought he would be. The show begins in the middle, the papers have already been filed and disputed and renegotiated. They live on the outskirts of the city, Rachel still works in fashion, Ross is still a paleontologist. Ben and Emma are their only children. Ross’ relationship with Ben (age 15 or 16) is strained. Ben is gender-queer and Ross refuses to accept it. They have a close relationship with Rachel. They want her to have primary custody (Carol and Susan moved to another state), much to Ross’ chagrin. Emma is a preteen and is acting out because she feels caught in the middle. Ross has moved out of state for his new job he comes back to deal with the divorce and to spend time with kids. The show focuses on Rachel getting back to herself and becoming the woman she wants to be and what she wants in a relationship and on Ross who wants to get his family back and who he is as a husband and father.

I could see Monica being on episodes caught in a hard place and Chandler taking Rachel’s side immediately. Joey is the true neutral friend and Phoebe is heart broken over the lobsters being broken.

Take away the Friends elements and it could just work as a show with original characters.

 *My least favorite idea

[tealin]

Induction McMurdo

Here's the thing about arriving at McMurdo: It's kind of like diving into your first week at college. You have a series of orientation sessions, a bunch of classes in different buildings with random numbers, and you meet a lot of new people with names and roles that are hard to keep straight, while also being offered a wide range of interesting extracurricular activities and trying to navigate the intranet to find the information you need or missed along the way. On top of this, you have to learn the strict and unusual rules around getting your food and sorting your garbage, and adapt to the unwritten conventions and jargon of the society.

A starter: 155 – The big blue building which contains the Galley as well as a number of useful offices like Lodging, Gear Issue, and Recreation. Noticeboards and the Lost and Found are here too. Essentially the hub of the station. Galley – the cafeteria. To prevent spreading germs, one must always do time at the handwash station before entering the Galley, even if one has just been to the bathroom and thoroughly washed one's hands there. The handwash station is a regular rendezvous point. Crary – the building where most of the scientists have labs and/or offices. It has three sections, or 'phases,' connected by a downward sloping 'spine.' Phase 1, at the top of the slope and nearest 155, has an upper floor with a conference room-cum-library. My desk is in a dark little room just off the library, which has been set up with cubicles. The best views in McMurdo are from the library windows. MacOps – the communications hub, which handles radio traffic amongst other things. When you leave the station you have to check out with MacOps. The SSC – stands for Science Support Center. Lots of classes in the classroom here. Otherwise it's a staging area for science teams heading out into the field. The BFC – stands for Berg Field Center. The warehouse of supplies (tents, sledges, stoves, pee bottles, etc) and where things go to get repaired. Denizens of the BFC are a tribe unto themselves and they have a most atmospheric lair on the upper floor. Helo – pronounced hee-low: a helicopter Snow machine – a snowmobile The 203s – three interconnected dormitories, numbered 203a, 203b, and 203c. I am in 203c. They are two storeys; off a long corridor are about twenty double-occupancy rooms, with a bathroom for men and for women on each floor, and a common area on the ground floor. They are being torn down and replaced in March, so it is a bit surreal to be living there.

Here is what my first three days looked like:

Wednesday 13 November 16.30 – Arrive. Orientation video. Receive dorm assignment and keys.

17.15 – Get onboarded with IT, set up network login and WiFi access

17.30 – Walk up to the transport building to receive luggage and haul it (with vehicle and coordinator assistance) to dorm. Gratefully change out of bunny boots into regular boots and feel 20lbs lighter, possibly literally.

18.30 – Dinner with coordinator. Introductions to many new and exciting people.

19.30 – Science lecture in Crary; tonight's is about the ongoing study of Weddell seal pups and at which stage in development they acquire the skill of hyperoxygenating their tissues for long deep dives. A bespoke seal-sized metabolic chamber has been built for this purpose. The pups in the study are named after favourite candies.

21.00 – Stagger into bed

Thursday 14 November 06.45 – Meet coordinator for breakfast

07.30 – Inbrief at the Chalet (administrative hub) where department leaders and new arrivals introduce themselves and explain what they do.

09.00 – Harassment Awareness training. We had to do anti-harassment training every year at Disney and this 45-minute class was way better – insightful, pragmatic, realistic – than anything we did there. Well done, USAP.

10.00-12.00 – Me time. I think I tried to write up my journal.

12.00 – lunch with coordinator, meeting more new people

13.00-14.00 – more me time. I think I tried to answer some emails. It can take about five minutes to send and receive an email in HTML Gmail, on daytime McMurdo bandwidth, so it takes a while.

14.00 – picked up my communications radio, got briefed on how to operate it and the communications protocols. The comms team have a stuffed husky mascot named Apsley.

15.00 – Visited the Discovery Hut

16.00 – walked uphill against the wind back from Discovery Hut

17.30 – dinner, meet the other Artists & Writers under my coordinator's wing. They have just come back from the Dry Valleys. Ian Van Coller is a photographer; Todd Anderson is a photographer and printmaker. Together they are documenting the disappearing glaciers of the world. See The Last Glacier.

18.00 – History Club

21.00 – Collapse into bed Friday 15 November 06.45 – Breakfast

08.00 – I was supposed to take Core Training – the introductory briefing on ways and means of McMurdo (trash sorting, the water system, the taxi/shuttle system, medical centre, etc) but in light of the parlous state of the sea ice this year, my coordinator wanted to get me on a snowmobile ASAP so I was ushered instead into

09.00 – Snowmobile Theory, i.e. how to start it, how to drive it, how not to tip over going around corners. This was entirely indoors with a specimen snowmobile. The Snowmobile Practical would be a few days later but I had to have theory first, and there was an opening here.

12.00 – rendezvous with coordinator at my desk, then lunch

13.00-16.30 – Antarctic Field Training. This consisted of a series of lectures and videos interspersed with practical demonstrations, designed to familiarise oneself with the contents of one's survival bag, which is taken with you every time you leave base, in case you're waylaid by a blizzard. We learned how to set up and run the Whisperlight stove (similar in theory to a Primus but with the burner and fuel tank as separate entities) and set up the standard issue tent. I learned the extremely clever Trucker's Hitch knot and forgot it about half an hour after class ended. In fact it went much longer than the allotted time because the power kept going out whenever we tried to watch one of the several requisite videos, so eventually Helicopter Training was postponed to 7.30 the following morning.

18.00 – Dinner. Met the new arrivals from today's C-17, a film crew making an episode of the NatGeo-Netflix-Disney series One Strange Rock.* Despite the American commission, they are in fact British, and one of them was cameraman on the show about the restoration of the Cape Evans hut, which has hitherto been my best point of reference for that interior space. Instant friends. Power outages continued. Went to bed during one particularly long one.

Saturdays are work days here, so the schedule didn't let up then. The standard work day is 7.30 - 17.30, a ten-hour day which significantly favours morning people, of whose tribe I am not. One would think that, in 24-hour daylight, circadian rhythms would be more or less malleable, but I never succeeded in going to sleep before 10 or finding it easy to wake up before 7. People complain of a certain befuddlement in Antarctica – constantly losing things, inability to concentrate, loss of vocabulary – and they call it McMurdo Brain, but my experience of working 60-hour weeks at Disney makes me think it’s probably chronic low-grade exhaustion. When I stole time for a nap or was allowed to sleep in, I felt noticeably sharper.

This particular Saturday, after the makeup Helicopter class, was entirely given over to Sea Ice Training. That was such a full and interesting day that I will give it a post all of its own next week.

[echodrops]

Where do middling middles come from? I struggle with it myself, I know how I want to begin and end the story, but the middle somehow doesn’t seem „right“, and I feel like a lot of movies seem to struggle with meandering second acts as well. Where do you think that comes from?

Sorry my answer on this was delayed–this ask came during my grading period and then finals at the end of our semester. T_T

Anyway, middles…

To be honest, the core of the problem is probably thinking of the “middle” as a specific section of your story in the first place. We all know the montage: beginning, middle, end. But the truth is that while a story always requires a finite beginning and ending–it has to start somewhere and end eventually–what we think of as “the middle” is actually a vague, umbrella term encompassing everything from the moment your main plot starts rolling to the moment the story reaches its climax.

Rest under a read more:

Basically, this is the traditional plot diagram most of us learn in schools:

The problem with this is that it tends to create confusion about where the climax of a story is supposed to occur–looking at this, you might be tempted to think that the “middle” of the story should be an action-packed, important moment that really stuns the readers.

The truth of the matter is that the plots of most stories look a lot more like this:

The climax comes significantly later, typically only a chapter or two before the end of the book, and the “geographical” middle (i.e. page 100 of 200 total), instead falls somewhere in the area traditionally called the “rising action.”

So where do boring, poorly-paced middles come from? Why do people struggle to figure out what to put in their story’s “middle”?

Off the top of my head, I can think of two reasons people struggle with middles:

1. Misunderstanding what “rising action” means and how it should be constructed.

If I ask my students to define “rising action,” the answer I usually get is “A series of events that leads up to the story’s climax.” From a technical standpoint, this answer is correct–we have to get from the beginning to the story’s climax somehow, right?

But from a practical stand point, thinking of rising action as nothing more than “the events leading up to my story’s biggest moment” inevitably results in a stale, linear, and inorganic middle. If every action and moment from the beginning of the story to the climax all contributes to the same plot, the result is typically a robotic, uninteresting series of events where characters feel less like they’re acting for themselves, and more like they’re toy soldiers marching to the author’s orders–they’re being forced to jump through a predetermined set of hurdles to get to someone else’s goal, rather than being allowed to naturally change, develop, and exist outside of the story’s main conflict.

All too often, the writing thought process is: “I know where my story starts–Point A. And I know where I want it to end–Point B. Now I just need to get my characters from Point A to Point B!” And that’s… it. The sum total of thought put into the middle: just get from Point A to Point B.

But that’s not how human beings–and characters written by human beings–work. We’re not linear; we’re messy. We don’t take the right path every time. We backtrack. We get distracted. We’re often juggling more than one problem at once. We avoid conflict like the plague.

Reducing the middle of your story to a vehicle for getting characters from Point A to Point B denies them–and your readers–crucial opportunities for humanization, crucial opportunities to add depth and meaning to their plot, and in general limits realism and makes characters feel one-dimensional. If you’ve ever sat through a middle where you just didn’t emotionally engage with the characters at all, it’s probably because that middle was more focused on getting characters to the big climax than on allowing them to be “real” people or live for a second outside of the story’s single main conflict.

Okay, all well and good for me to say this, but how do you fix it?

Rethink your rising action. Even in the most basic and brief of plots (i.e. vignettes or short stories), rising action is never a single straight line from Point A to Point B. If you want your middle to feel realistic and engaging, let it reflect the behaviors and thought processes that real humans experience:

Mad MS Paint skills.

If you want your middle to be more than a stale Point A -> Point B, then fill it things that make your characters human: small, unexpected challenges. Chances to overcome lower-stakes conflict to learn new skills and enforce character growth. Fill in details of their life with flashbacks and side moments that help us readers better visualize and empathize with them. Let them make mistakes. Let them struggle to find the right way forward. Let them think about things other than the main plot absolutely 24/7.

It is true that events needs to ramp up as the story progress–the conflict needs to get more and more personal, more and more “threatening” or at least important to the main character (and therefore the readers)–but instead of throwing all your chips down on one massive climax, build in some smaller scale conflict moments throughout the “middle,” some tiny climaxes along the way, each one helping your character learn something new about themself, others, the world around them, yes, even the main plot…

Except when writing the shortest of short stories, just like real life, your plot should (usually) never present just ONE challenge to its protagonist. Every major event in our human lives is a complex, interconnected network of prior experiences and growth, trial and error, emotional baggage and interplay between people. That’s what good middles are full of. If you’re struggling to figure out what to put in your story’s middle, it’s probably because you’re so fixated on “Point A -> Point B” that you haven’t given enough thought to the complex journey in between. Don’t let your set-in-stone plans for the story’s “end” distract and limit you or your characters!

This is already really long, but I did say there were two possible problems with middles, so:

2. The climax happens prematurely. Don’t look at me, I didn’t pick the term.

Oftentimes a story seems to wander and lose focus before reaching its big climax, because of rising action that lacks depth and pizzazz. But the opposite problem can also occur: it’s possible for the rising action to be way too short, resulting in a climax that comes too early–closer to the geographical middle of the book–leaving a ton of space for falling action… But the author had nothing good to put there.

If you’ve ever seen a movie or read a book where there was an awesome, moving, incredible scene in the middle, and then it just seems to drag on and on before finally petering out with a whimper instead of bang, what’s going on is that the author jumped to the climax too early, with nothing solid or meaningful to fill in the gaps afterward. As a result, there are a bunch of included “here’s what happened after everyone went home” scenes, often with very little emotional pay-out, leaving readers wondering why the story is still… going… on… (And it’s usually still going on because the author had some epilogue idea in mind and realized they had to fill the gaps between the climax and the epilogue, see Problem #1 again.)

While it is possible to write stories where the main explosion of the conflict occurs in the dead-middle of the book/story (hell, you can even write stories where the major climax occurs FIRST), doing this requires you to shift the goalposts–it’s no longer a “character grows and, in time, overcomes main conflict and gets a happy ending;” instead, it’s “these characters experienced an intense conflict… now here’s how they handle and cope with what comes after.” When the climax happens earlier than “the end,” the focus of the story has to shift to really examining the aftermath, the implications and effects of the climax. Unless this shift occurs and the story becomes one of hurting, healing, and reflection after a massive conflict/upheaval, then we end up with a meandering second act that never packs the punch readers really want as the story winds down.

So like… don’t do this unless you really know what you’re doing, I guess? (Or you’re willing to fail until you figure it out, that works too…)

tl;dr: My tips for writing a good middle are:

1. Plan out several smaller scale moments of conflict, several “mini” climaxes/challenges for your main character to overcome as the story progresses. These smaller scale climaxes are excellent moments for your characters to learn new skills, gain more knowledge, or grow as people, which will then help build up to the major climax. Use these smaller scale “high points” to keep the middle feeling action-packed while also preventing the story from feeling like the characters are just robots marching from Point A to Point B.

2. When trying to plan out mini conflicts, think about A) what skills, traits, knowledge, etc. your character NEEDS to learn/develop in order to ultimately overcome the main conflict. What are some realistic and interesting ways for your character to gain these skills/knowledge/emotional growth, etc.? and B) In what ways can you involve other characters in this? These miniature moments of challenge and struggle are EXCELLENT places for clashes and connections between characters to grow and deepen.

3. Remember that characters are generally written by humans and should act like humans (seriously, even fantasy characters need to have a bit of humanization to them, or your readers won’t be able to care about their stories), so unless you REALLY have no spare space in your story, plan for mistakes, backtracking, misunderstandings, distractions, flashbacks, side plots, etc. Let your characters live and breathe in the middle–don’t mindlessly force them on a linear path towards your goal for them. LET THEM LIVE, GOD.

4. Unless you intentionally are writing a story about aftermath, recovery, or how people handle a traumatic experience, save the major climax for near the end of the story. Don’t put the moment of highest emotion and struggle and meaning in the dead middle of your book and leave yourself with five more chapters to fill and nothing but epilogue content to fill them with. Don’t be fooled by the pyramid–the climax in most stories comes in the last few chapters!

Phew, I think that about covers it. Hopefully this is what you were looking for.