#it could be about how someone might currently be a chapter in your life

[thoughts-reasons]

Instagram

[ja3yun]

Melting Point | P.SH | CH.7

brother's rival!sunghoon x fem!reader warnings: smut (mdni), unprotected sex, oral (f. rec), fingering, spitting, dirty talk, praise kink, petnames (good girl, baby), anything else lmk. ch. 7 synopsis: minhee comes to you with the missing pieces of information you need, leading you to find the courage to speak to sunghoon, hoping you can reconcile. wc: 14.9k previous | masterlist | next a/n: hi! this chapter is filled with plot and answers to questions so i am hoping it all makes sense. again, thank you for the love on the last chapter! next week is the penultimate chapter so everything is starting to tie up so please enjoy <3

Scanning the next customer's shop, your shoulders are heavy with sadness. It’s not ideal to be working the day after you just lost the love of your life but reality doesn’t stop for your problems. If you weren’t in desperate need of the money, you would have just neglected to show up.

You haven’t slept, your eyes are a darker shade than before, and the smile you couldn’t stop plastering over your face the past couple of months is non-existent. 

Last night, you went home just like Coach Lee had instructed but you don’t know if it was the best idea. The journey home with your mum was filled with her yapping about how true love never existed and how she knew his plan was this all along. There was no sympathy from her, not a surprise considering her face yesterday looked like she just won the lottery. 

Minhee, on the other hand, sat silent, fizzing from head to toe. Honestly, you expected him to be fuming since Sunghoon was the factor in your current drift from one another, however, you did expect an undertone similar to your mothers gloating; he should be telling you ‘I told you so’ but instead he seems less boastful and more resentful. 

"Your total comes to £54.35," you murmur in a monotone, extending your hand for the payment from the elderly woman. As she counts out each pound coin, you find yourself retreating into your thoughts once more, replaying the events over and over again.

Sunghoon looked so sincere when he told you it wasn’t him on the recorded phone call. The biggest question that twirled in your mind was how your mum got the audio in the first place. Sunghoon's assertion that he was only friends with Jay and Jake, who wouldn't betray him, seemed plausible, he hadn’t ever mentioned anyone but them in all the times you have spoken. So, who could have provided it to her?

That’s what you should have questioned when you had the chance, instead of letting your mind loop in on itself and confuse you to the point you didn’t even hear Sunghoon out. 

You want to reach out and ask him to meet you but it wasn’t just you that got hurt yesterday.

If there’s one image that’s sticking in the forefront of your brain right now, it’s Sunghoon’s face when he found out you lied to him. Perhaps you should have questioned everything then, considering how shattered he appeared. Someone who set out to betray you wouldn’t look so devastated that you hurt them, would they?

You're also gripped with anxiety that getting in touch with Sunghoon would make things worse and he'll reveal Minhee's actions to the National Board. It scares you to think of your brother losing his chance to skate and being disqualified from competition. 

Space might be just what you all need.

But finding that space is proving to be a challenge when your mind is consumed by these thoughts incessantly. You feel utterly overwhelmed, your mental state crumbling, leaving you feeling helpless.

The old lady hands over the money, and you mechanically carry on with your shift.

Once it's over, you contemplate your options for where to go next. Normally, the rink would be your refuge, but it feels too loaded with memories right now. Rina's occupied with her anniversary date with Allen, leaving you with no one else to turn to. The library, despite being open 24 hours, holds no appeal; the idea of sitting in silence, trying to study, feels like torture.

With a tired yawn, you realise there's only one place left to go: home.

______

Kicking off your shoes at the door, you trudge up the stairs, each step feeling like an effort as exhaustion weighs heavily on your limbs. The lure of your bed grows stronger with each passing moment as if it's calling out to you louder with every step.

You notice that your mum's bedroom light is off, signalling that she's already asleep, while Minhee's room emits the usual blue glow of his computer screen. If it weren't for the ache in your heart, this could easily pass for a typical Wednesday night.

Entering your room, you're greeted by an unexpected sight. It's not as you left it; the bed is neatly made, your stuffed toys lined up by the pillows, your desk reorganised the way you like it, and all your clothes tidily put away. Someone has cleaned for you, a rare occurrence unless you're sick.

The one prominent feature of your newly organised room is the gleaming glass trophy on your windowsill. It stands proudly, displaying your achievement to everyone as they enter the room. 

This had to be Minhee’s doing, your mum would never go to these lengths.

Unfortunately, the award just serves as a memory to Sunghoon rather than yourself. It was the night you became officially his, the night you threw all guilt and caution to the wind so you could claim him as yours. 

Taking the trophy, you toss it in your top drawer and shut it roughly, not caring about the damage you could cause it.

With no energy to shower, you change into pyjamas. It’s a bad idea to slip into one of Sunghoon’s hoodies but as it envelopes you in warmth on the cold night, you don’t think about it twice. The smell of him still lingering as you put up the hood punches you in the chest. You miss him, it’s as simple as that. 

As you sink into the welcoming embrace of your bed, the weight of the day gradually begins to lift from your shoulders, only to be replaced by a hollow ache that settles in the pit of your stomach. Closing your eyes, you attempt to banish the tumultuous thoughts swirling in your mind and drift into sleep.

You toss and turn, trying to find a comfortable position, but your mind refuses to quiet down. Images of Sunghoon's smile and the warmth of his hugs dance behind your eyelids, taunting you. Every time you close your eyes, it's like you're transported back to happier times. 

For what seems like hours, your heart and brain fight with one another, much like the night before. Your heart aches to be with Sunghoon, to trust him completely while your head rationalises the evidence presented to you by your mother. 

Just as you begin to resign yourself to another sleepless night, a soft knock at your door interrupts your thoughts. Minhee's concerned voice cuts through the silence, drawing your attention, "Y/N? Are you still awake?"

With a frustrated huff, you turn your back to Minhee, a silent declaration of your anger and hurt. Acting this way may seem childish, but this is how you’ve always acted towards him when conflicts arise between you, like you regress back to being kids.

Minhee sighs, walking to the edge of your bed before helping himself to a seat beside you, “You don’t have to speak to me but you can listen.” He looks down at his hands, wondering how to broach the situation, the words aren’t coming so easily, “I…I know I did something really shitty, okay? I shouldn’t have fucked with his skate like that, Mum just…” 

When he pauses, your intrigue is piqued and you twist your head to look at him. You can see his internal battle whether to tell you something or keep it to himself. The rooted anger towards your brother grows a little, “This is the only opportunity I’m giving you to explain yourself,” you warn him with a hidden urge for him to continue.

He breathes out slowly, his voice carrying the weight of a burden, "Mum just put so much pressure on me to win, like all she’s spoken about was how I need to place first,” his words quiver slightly, a reflection of the self-doubt flooding his body.

It's astonishing how one woman can make both her children feel so worthless.

As you turn to face Minhee, his expression mirrors the familiar blend of anguish and self-doubt that you've seen on Sunghoon's face countless times. It's a painful reminder of the weight their mothers' expectations have placed upon them.

"Mini, you could easily beat Sunghoon at Nationals. You didn't have to listen to Mum," you offer, your voice laced with both empathy and frustration.

The issue has never been Sunghoon or Minhee; it's always been their mums.

Minhee takes a deep breath, steeling himself to reveal the truth that he's been carrying with him all this time, "Listen to me," he begins, his voice tinged with bitterness, "Mum needs me to win."

Your confusion deepens, leaving lines of bewilderment etched on your face as you struggle to comprehend his words, "What?" you ask, all tiredness suddenly leaving your body.

"The odds of me winning aren’t in my favour, so she put on a bet. She'll get shit tons of money if I win. She put basically all her savings into it, all my money too," his jaw clenches as he recalls the conversation they had.

Your confusion escalates further as Minhee's revelations continue to unfold before you. "Since when was Mum into gambling?" you ask, the disbelief evident in your voice.

Minhee sighs heavily, his frustration palpable as he struggles to find the right words, "There's so much you don't know about her, Bubs," he admits, his tone tinged with regret, "The gambling isn't even above board. It's all underground-type shit with high rates. I swear I didn't know anything about any of it until she guilt-tripped me into going along with her scheme."

There was no denying your Mum was a little secretive, especially after your dad left, but this is not anything like you could have imagined. You had always wondered where your Mum got the money to support Minhee’s skating but his brand deals were good enough to keep you all afloat, so you just presumed it was that.

Minhee sees you calculating in your head and decides to continue, “Once she told me, I started practising like crazy, I trained almost every day just to be in with a chance but she wasn’t confident enough so she told me-”

"To break Hoon’s skate," you finish his sentence for him, the pieces of the puzzle snapping into place with a chilling clarity.

You knew something was off that morning - the way your Mum was extra harsh on him, telling him to make sure he ‘gets it done’. It was such unusual phrasing that you should have clocked on to it sooner.

This is exactly why you didn’t want to tell Sunghoon about it. You wanted to get to the bottom of it all because you were filled with suspicion from the get-go. The thought of your own mother putting Minhee in a position like this fills you with a mixture of anger and disbelief. 

“Why did you go along with it? If she doesn’t get the money, that’s her problem, no?” you query, trying to tie every string of this situation together for your own peace of mind.

Minhee sucks his teeth and looks away from you, “You know how much effort and time she put into my career, she sacrificed everything for it, her old job, money, even the breakdown of her marriage was because of me. I owe her this.” He’s withholding some information, using this as the sole his sole reason for helping, but there is more to it, you can tell that much.

Your chest fills with hurt as you speak, “The divorce wasn’t your fault, Mini. Mrs. Park started that rumour and it drove Dad to leave. That has zero to do with you. Plus, she pushed you to go professional when you were a child, you didn’t exactly beg her to let you compete. You owe her nothing.”

You know for a fact it’s her words that have made him believe he is the route of all her problems. If only you paid closer attention to what was going on, maybe you could have counteracted her venom with something, anything, to help him believe he wasn’t tied to her like this. 

Taking one of his hands, you scoot closer to him, the warmth of his presence a balm to your troubled soul. Resting your head on his shoulder, you feel the weight of the world pressing down on both of you. "You should have told me, Minhee. I could have helped you."

He shakes his head before encircling an arm around your back, pulling you closer to him as if seeking solace in your embrace, "I wanted to protect you. She would have dragged you into it as well if she could," he confesses, his voice tinged with regret, "I regret it. I wish I just didn’t let her manipulate me into doing that to Sunghoon. I can’t tell you how relieved I was when I saw him at the rink that day we were doing the peer reviews."

It shocks you to hear him say that, considering he’s usually cursing the boy's name every time he was forced within 10 feet of him.

There was one thing that didn’t add up though, “Wait, if mum put the bet on, wouldn’t the bet be just to beat him? Why did she try and knock him out altogether with the skate? Surely that would cancel out the bet and she wouldn’t win the money?” you query, hoping your brother has the answers.

He shakes his head, “She never wanted him out of competition, just to injure him enough that he wouldn’t be able to compete to his usual standard, y’know? I would be in with a chance of beating him then,” he tells you, stroking your side, “It was touch and go for a minute, I don’t know what she would have done if he couldn’t compete.”

Underneath your head, you feel his shoulders tense up again, causing you to lift your face to look at him, concern etched into your features. "Is there more?" you ask, dreading the answer but knowing you can't avoid it.  He knows more than he is letting on, you can tell.

“Look, I’m going to say something that sounds so batshit crazy, okay, but you gotta believe me,” he says, his tone urgent, “And you know I’m not Sunghoon’s number one supporter, so you know I wouldn’t lie to make him look good.”

"Oh my god, Mini, just tell me, please," you plead, unable to bear the suspense any longer.

"The phone call was fake," he confesses, gingerly meeting your eyes as you give him a look of astonishment

Your mind reels at his revelation, struggling to comprehend the implications of what he's just said, "Fake? How? Don’t tell me you were a part of this too?"

“Fuck no, I was as shocked as you were,” Minhee protests, taking a deep breath before divulging what he knows, “I went searching after it all didn’t add up. Like, who the fuck records conversations like that in the first place, never mind sending them to Mum?”

You have to agree with him, the question also did come to your mind once you calmed down.

As he takes out his phone, Minhee's expression darkens with seriousness, his fingers tapping across the screen to reveal a series of emails. He shows you the correspondence between your mum and someone named Soohyun, highlighting the transactions and agreements outlined within.

"She paid him money to use some sort of AI to make it sound like Sunghoon was saying all that stuff about you and your relationship," Minhee explains, his voice laced with disbelief and anger, "It was one last attempt to fuck with him before the competition. She really needs that money, Bubs."

Shock courses through you, a tidal wave of disbelief crashing against the shores of your consciousness. The realisation sinks in slowly, each email adding another layer to the intricate web of deceit woven by your mother, "I-I can't believe this," you stutter, struggling to process the enormity of what he's just revealed.

Minhee gently takes the phone from your hand, returning it to his hoodie pocket with a sigh, "I know. It's like something out of a bad TV show, but it's true," he admits, his tone heavy with resignation. As his hand finds yours, a sense of solidarity washes over you, his touch offering a small measure of comfort amidst the chaos.

"To be honest, I had kinda knew it was fake," Minhee continues, his words slow and measured, "Don't get me wrong, I was livid at the idea of anyone using you that way. But on the drive home, I realized, this is Park Sunghoon we're talking about. He wouldn't dare to do that to you."

Confusion clouds your features as you furrow your brow, struggling to make sense of his words. "Huh? What are you talking about?" you ask, your voice tinged with uncertainty.

Minhee's expression softens as he meets your gaze, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "He liked you for so long, like for years. You were just so oblivious to it," he explains, his tone gentle yet matter-of-fact. "If he has the chance to date you, he's not going to take it for granted, and certainly not use you just to mess with my head."

As Minhee's words sink in, a flicker of realisation dawns upon you. Memories of Sunghoon's lingering glances and subtle gestures flood your mind, painting a picture of unspoken feelings that had gone unnoticed for far too long, "Do you know he asked me for permission to date you when we were like 15 maybe? I can't really remember exactly…but anyway, I told him to get lost," Minhee adds with a wry grin, his words punctuated by a hint of nostalgia.

Now this was new information. All you knew was that Sunghoon had knocked you back when you asked him out about that age.

“I had my reasons.”

His voice echoes in your brain as you recall what he said at the ice rink on your first date as an official couple. All this time, you had believed Sunghoon's rejection was solely his decision, unaware of Minhee's influence behind the scenes, “You told him to say no to me? Did you know I was going to confess?” Anger rises within you, not real anger but the one that siblings have for each other when one steals the remote control or eats the leftover food they were saving.

"Whoa, yeah, okay, but you have to understand I was protecting you. I don’t even know what Mum would have done back then if you started dating him, especially because it was so close after Dad left," Minhee's voice is laced with remorse as he hangs his head. "I know I had no right to tell him to leave you alone, but…"

The anger in you subsides as you see him slump a little.

"You're the most important person in my life, Y/N. You're my little sister, my best friend," he continues, his voice trembling with emotion, "He took championships and brand deals from me, fine, but if he took you away from me, particularly back then, I think I would have died." He avoids your gaze, his admission laden with shame at his insecurities.

His words weigh heavily on your heart, the depth of his love and fear for you leaving you speechless, “I’m your sister, Mini. He could never tak-”

“Hasn’t he?” His interjection silences you, “You stopped coming to my practices, we don’t hang out anymore, it’s like I barely see you,”

His words strike a chord, piercing through the haze of your own emotions. Suddenly, the gravity of his words sinks in, and you realise the toll that recent events have taken on your relationship with Minhee. You were so caught up in yourself that you hadn’t factored in how the distance would affect him. 

Being caught up in your newfound relationship, you inadvertently left behind the one person who had always been there for you, the one who needed you the most. Guilt washes over you as you realize the depth of Minhee's loneliness and isolation in your absence. You and Minhee had been each other's rock for so long, but now, it feels like you're drifting apart, and you can't help but feel responsible.

A heavy silence envelops the room, thick with unspoken regrets and untold truths. You feel the weight of Minhee's gaze upon you, his eyes pleading for understanding.

"I... I didn't realise," you murmur, the words catching in your throat, "I didn't mean to drift away from you, Mini. I just... I got caught up in my own guilt, and it was easier to avoid you altogether."

Minhee listens quietly, his understanding washing over you like a soothing tide. His empathy is palpable in the gentleness of his gaze. "I'm sorry for putting you in that position. I guess I hadn't realised that trying to keep you from him was actually doing the opposite of what I thought it would," he admits, his voice filled with remorse. Bringing you closer to his side, he rubs your waist in a gesture of comfort. "I pushed you away and blamed it all on Sunghoon."

"You'll always be my number one, Mini. You don't have to worry about that," you assure him, offering a heartfelt smile in return.

If there were such a thing as twin flames, you and Minhee would surely be just that. In every universe, you both burn together, facing every trial and tribulation that comes your way. You're deeply thankful to have him as your brother.

“Did he actually like me this whole time?" You can't help but beam at the thought of the Ice Prince harbouring feelings for you all these years.

With a groan, Minhee pushes you away playfully, "Ugh, yes. He would NOT let it go either. Even asked me if he could take you to prom," he recalls with a mixture of exasperation and amusement.

“PROM? He wanted to take me to my prom?” You squeal at the thought, imagining Sunghoon awkwardly mustering up the courage to ask Minhee for permission to take you to prom. It's a surreal image, but one that fills you with a strange sense of warmth, “I had no idea he was that into me back then,” you idly play with your hair, trying to stop yourself from reverting back to your 14-year-old self as you imagine Sunghoon crushing on you too.

Minhee shrugs, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Probably just desperate, to be honest," he teases, earning an annoyed gasp and a few playful slaps to his shoulder. "Ow! Look, just because I’m not against you dating him anymore doesn’t mean I want to hear you gushing over him, okay?"

Your eyes widen in surprise at his revelation. "You... you aren’t against it?" The words feel fake as if you've stepped into an alternate reality where Minhee's acceptance of your relationship with Sunghoon is not only possible but welcomed.

Minhee sighs, raking his fingers through his hair, “I’m still not happy that you lied to me about it, and I am not his biggest fan,” he starts, eyes pointed at you with annoyance, “But he makes you happy and that picture you accidentally sent me was…well he clearly loves you,” It burns him to say it, you can see it in how his mouth cringes, “And after everything that’s happened, maybe I should let go of some of the grudges.”

You might have to clean out your ears to make sure you’ve heard correctly. 

In one swoop, you hug him tightly, “Thank you, Mini,” You hadn’t realised the weight that you had been carrying all over your body regarding this whole secret boyfriend situation, but it’s finally gone.

“Don’t thank me just yet, you need to make up with him first,” Minhee says, “That should be easy though.”

Ah, there was that little hiccup, “It’s a little more complicated than that,” you say sheepishly as you scratch the back of your hand. Your brother stares with questioning eyes, “When we argued at Belmore I might have accidentally told him you broke his skate and that I knew,” your shoulders rise as you speak, face spreading with awkwardness and guilt. 

“You’re so fucking stupid, Y/N. Why would you tell him that?!” He is exasperated by you, his hands rubbing up and down his face to exhibit his frustration with you.

“It slipped out! Come on, I could have told him well before yesterday. Give me some credit,” you argue back.

Both of you stare at each other, and the room’s silence quickly fills with your outburst of laughter. The tension dissipates as laughter bubbles between you, the weight of the conversation lifting momentarily. Despite the gravity of the situation, there's something strangely comforting about being able to find humour in the midst of it all.

"Okay, okay, fair point," Minhee concedes, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips, "But seriously, you need to sort things out with him, if he tells the board I’ll never be able to skate again,” you look at him incredulously to which he just laughs, “Yeah, I am aware of the irony, okay? Just please sort it out. If not for me, for yourself.”

Nodding, you cross your fingers, “I will.”

“I love you, Bubs,” Minhee stands and kisses the crown of your head, smiling in relief that he has his best friend back, “Tell him if he hurts you for real, I’ll break his legs next time.” Your mouth hangs open as he walks away shrugging.

The weight of the situation settles over you once more, but this time, you feel a renewed sense of purpose. You just hope you can fix this. 

______

You find yourself standing at Sunghoon's doorstep, your hand poised to knock, yet inexplicably frozen in place. Why has the simple act of chapping on his door suddenly become so daunting?

A nagging voice echoes in your mind, whispering doubts about whether he'll even care, convinced that the damage has already been done. The weight of the colossal secret you've kept from him bears down heavily, compounded by the regret of not believing him when he insisted the audio wasn’t him.

Yesterday, confusion clouded your judgment, leaving you unable to think clearly, grasping onto every detail at face value. But amidst the chaos, you failed to afford the same trust and belief in his earnest pleas and declarations of love.

Now, the fear grips you tight: What if he doesn’t want to mend things? What if, because of some senseless scheme concocted by your own mother, you've lost the love of your life?

But you’re a big girl, you have to face this no matter the outcome.

With that mindset, you finally chap the door, breathing out slowly as you do so. The nerves sit in your throat as it dries out, the idea of losing him was just inconceivable.

The door swings open to reveal Jay, clearly just awake. His hair is sticking to one side and he hasn’t bothered to put on clothes, boxers being the only thing keeping his dignity. You suppose turning up to the flat at 6am on a Thursday would grant some disturbance.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Jay asks, one eye still closed.

“I need to speak to Sunghoon,” you try to convey the urgency in your voice but it comes out breathlessly. You hadn’t realised you were holding in the air until you spoke.

Jay's sigh echoes in the room, his gaze drifting upwards as he considers your request. "I don’t think it’s a good idea, Y/N, he's kinda pissed," he cautions, his tone tinged with concern.

You understand Jay's apprehension, but you can't let the rift between you and Sunghoon deepen any further. The longer you both remain trapped in this mess, the harder it will be to mend your relationship. Time might heal some wounds but it won’t fix them.

“Can I just talk to him? I need to explain,” you plead, tapping your fingers together, you avoid his judgmental gaze. 

Jay's response is swift, his conviction clear as he defends Sunghoon's character. "You didn’t actually believe your mum, right? Like anyone with a clue can see how much he loves you. He wouldn’t do something like that," he states, offering a comforting gesture by rubbing his shoulder slightly. It's evident that Jay is trying to rebuild Sunghoon's image in your eyes, a testament to the unwavering bond between him and his best friend.

As you stand there, you can’t explain your thoughts during your fight with your boyfriend because you still can’t make sense of them yourself; however he was right, you should have seen his love past the lies of your mother.

Nodding with a hint of shame, you admit, “It was all just too much to process, and I handled it poorly. But I have to fix it.” Despite the weight of your guilt, a steely determination underlines your words.

Jay sees it, he understands you didn’t want to hurt Sunghoon the way you did. Maybe he’s a bit more understanding of your own grief because his best friend neglected to mention that you lied to him about Minhee and his skate. 

When Sunghoon arrived home, Jake and Jay greeted him eagerly, anticipating news from his check-up. However, their excitement quickly turned to concern as Sunghoon stormed in, slamming the door behind him with such force that it caused shelves to rattle.

Concern etched across their faces, his friends inquired about the situation with genuine worry as Sunghoon recounted the events involving your mother and the recording. However, he purposefully omitted any mention of the skate. He didn't want to tarnish your image in the eyes of his friends with his own anger-induced bias. He understood all too well that they might harbour animosity toward you for your deception, and the mere thought of it was unbearable to him.

So he didn’t bother to spill it, still protecting you even amidst his fury.

"I heard him leave this morning. I think he went to the rink, like he usually does to clear his head," Jay offered, unsure if he should disclose this information but feeling a strong intuition that both you and Sunghoon needed it.

Your expression softens with gratitude as you look up, "Thanks, Jay," you say, appreciation evident in your voice.

As you begin to turn, preparing to make your journey back to your side of town and into Belmore, Jay's voice suddenly pierces the quiet morning air, halting your movements, "Wait there, I'll give you a lift," he calls out, his offer catching you off guard.

Before you can even muster a response to decline his kind gesture, Jay is already striding purposefully back to his room to get dressed.

Left standing alone in the tranquillity of the early morning, the absence of Jay's presence allows your mind to wander freely. You had prepared yourself to talk to Sunghoon at this very moment but now you have a whole 40-minute drive to contemplate his reaction all over again. It’s scary, the idea of this being the end of you both.

When Jay finally emerges, dressed and ready to go, he motions for you to follow him as you both make your way to his car. You don’t know why he’s doing this but you’re thankful for the saved time, the time to get here was already long enough, never mind making the same painstaking journey back.

The drive begins in silence, the gentle hum of the engine merging with the rhythm of your own racing heart. Jay's quietness feels unfamiliar, a subtle shift in the energy between you since your last encounter, though not entirely unexpected.

With some courage, you figure talking to Jay might help you later on when speaking to Sunghoon, “I think deep down I knew he didn’t say it.” 

It’s a simple confession but one you had to say out loud.

Jay spares you a quick glance before keeping his attention on the road, “He’s doted on you, like literally obsessed with you. Do you not see that, or?” There's a hint of irritation as he speaks. He can’t fathom why you would ever believe one shitty phone call rather than your boyfriend who would drop the world at your feet if you asked. 

He hasn't witnessed every facet of your relationship, but from what he has seen, he can't help but envy it. He longs to experience the kind of connection Sunghoon has found with you, hoping to find someone who reciprocates his feelings in the same way. What frustrates him about the situation is the apparent disregard you show for his best friend's love. It's as if you fail to grasp the profound depth of Sunghoon's affection, while there are others out there yearning for even a fraction of such devotion.

You angle your body to face him before speaking, “I know. There was just a lot going on and…you should have heard it, Jay. It sounded so fucking real,” you almost plead with him to see your side.

Even Sunghoon had mentioned how authentic the audio sounded, so Jay knew what you were talking about. He simply nods to acknowledge you, his expression showing understanding, “What was it then? How did she do it?”

"Some AI guy. She hired him to grab snippets from Hoon's interviews and make the audio," you tell Jay, omitting any mention of the gambling or other family drama

Jay's eyes widen in surprise. "Damn, seriously? She stooped that low?" he says, his astonishment visible in his tone. All you can do is nod, aware of how absurd and unsettling the situation is, "AI is so fucking scary, man," Jay says, shaking his head in dismay.

You agree wholeheartedly, a shiver running down your spine at the thought of the lengths people would go to manipulate technology for their own agendas, "It’s so bizarre," you murmur, still trying to wrap your head around the whole ordeal.

The silence that settles between you both now feels different, no longer heavy with tension but rather mutually comforting. Each of you understands the gravity of the situation and the complexities it entails. 

In this shared moment of understanding, surrounded by the quiet of the morning and Jay's silent support, you feel a sense of calm wash over you, in stark contrast to the turbulence that has plagued you since Tuesday. If Jay understands your side of the story, perhaps Sunghoon would as well.

Pulling up to Belmore, Jay stops the car at the entrance, “Y/N,” he pauses, collecting his thoughts, “You’re good for one another, and Jake and I like having you around, so fix this, yeah?” 

You nod, determined and empowered by his words, “I will.”

_____

As you step onto the rink, your eyes lock onto Sunghoon, gliding with so much velocity that it sends a shiver down your spine. You can't help but feel a pang of worry, knowing he's pushing himself to the limit, risking injury once more. As you approach, beads of sweat glisten on his face, his hair clinging to his skin, a visual confirmation of your concerns.

He propels himself into a jump, the sharp sound of his skate slicing through the air, reverberating across the arena. However, his landing isn't smooth; his ankle bends awkwardly, causing him to fall onto the ice.

"Sunghoon, be careful!" you call out, running to be by his side. Ignoring the impracticality of your footwear, you shuffle onto the ice and kneel beside him, "Are you out of your mind?"

Much to your dismay, Sunghoon’s ankle is thumping, a superficial heartbeat pulsing through it. He might be able to go back on the ice but he’s over-exerting himself. He doesn’t look at you, focusing on his ankle, but he also doesn’t push you away, letting you undo the bandage to assess the damage. 

Seemingly, his ankle is okay, nothing torn or hurt beyond what was already there, the bruise from a few weeks ago dying into a faded yellow, a promising sign but it still pains you to see.

Standing up, you offer him your hands for support but he shrugs you off, opting to stand on his own and skate over to the exit of the rink, “What are you doing here? Come to mess up my other skate?” His tone is sharp and accusatory, indicating that he’s still angry.

“It wasn’t me and you know that,” you defend yourself, slowly walking behind him trying not to slip.

You both successfully make it off the ice, Sunghoon plonking himself onto the bench outside. Going back to his ankle, you kneel and start the process of re-wrapping the bandage tightly, again with no protest from him. Hopefully, that’s a better sign of forgiveness compared to what his voice is suggesting.

Carefully, you discard his skate to the side and gather the bandage, your cold hand sparks a jolt in Sunghoon as you hold the start of the wrap to the back of his ankle. You take your time to eliminate any cause of discomfort which for the most part you succeed in. 

“You kept it a secret, Y/N. Lied to my face,” he says through gritted teeth which you don’t know if it’s from anger or pain, possibly a mixture of both, “Everything wrong in my life seems to be because of your family.” The words sting because you know it’s true. As much as you would love to be excluded from the accusation, you know he’s right.

“I know,” You say lowly, putting all your attention on his ankle. 

Looking at you, Sunghoon sighs, his body heavy with mixed feelings. Just looking at you now he wants to wrap you in his arms and tell you everything is okay, that he forgives you, but he can’t do that without some sort of explanation. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” he asks softly, staring at you as if trying to reach into your brain and pull the answers out himself.

Adjusting the bandage with a gentle twist, you offer your explanation, “Honestly, I thought I was protecting you. You had so much going on; not knowing if you would make nationals, the argument with your mum, there was just never a right time.”

Sucking his teeth, he nods, “Feels like you were protecting your brother.”

“I was, in some ways. There was something so strange going on I wanted to try and figure it out before I told you. I wanted an excuse so you wouldn’t blame him for it,” you explain your thought process to him but he won’t get it, not unless he was you in that situation.

Yet, to your surprise, Sunghoon grasps the sentiment perfectly. Protecting your brother is second nature, ingrained within you, even on the first day when everyone discovered they would be combining the rinks, you tried to protect him from doing something stupid. 

The only thing he doesn’t understand is why Minhee did it.

“Did you ever find an excuse for him? Or can I blame him for this?” he points to his ankle with his other foot so you see it. You haven’t looked at him once since you started to tend to his injury.

“You can blame him for it,” you start, pausing your actions as you wonder whether you should tell him what transpired, why Minhee did it, “Minhee…My mum put him up to it, to get you injured for Nationals so Minhee had a better chance of winning.”

“Shit, okay.”

Knowing Sunghoon, he’s trying to piece it all together to save you the explanation, but this is far too complicated for him to work out on his own, “This is going to sound so crazy, but I need you to listen. My mum is struggling to make ends meet and she got into some gambling scene. She put loads of money for Minhee to win, specifically to beat you and if she wins, it’s like thousands of pounds, enough to get her out of the debt she’s in. I don’t know how it works but it’s shady. She didn’t trust Minhee to get the job done on his own so…” You trail off, hoping he’ll put the puzzle together now.

Taking the safety pin, you secure the wrap and pull down his trouser leg, yet, you still don’t look at him, scared of his reaction. If you were in his shoes, you would not believe anything about what was just said.

But unlike you, Sunghoon knows what crazy sports mums are willing to do for their kids to succeed, his mum being a prime example, “Y/N, seriously, you should have told me.”

“I didn’t find out about the whole gambling thing until last night when Mini told me. Sunghoon, please believe me when I say he didn’t want to do it, he just…he thinks he owes our mum like he’s the one that put us in debt for chasing this dream, that he’s the reason for a lot of things outwith his control.”

“Sweets,” Sunghoon breathes out, grabbing your chin, forcing you to finally look at him, “I get it, I mean, I’m not particularly chill with it since my career could have ended but the way Minhee is feeling, I do understand.” 

His eyes hold yours like they’re hugging you, trying to pull you from your worries and somehow it works. You feel a little lighter, his hand now etching its way to your cheek to cradle it. Instinctively, you lean into his touch, seeking his comfort.

“I’m sorry, Hoonie,” you state solemnly, angry and hurt that he was just a pawn in your mother's game, the relationship between you both strained because of her and yet you were the one apologising on her behalf. 

You’re sorry for your own mistakes, but nothing was as bad as her tricks.

Sunghoon offers you a small smile, ushering you to sit next to him on the bench so he isn’t looking down on you. The symbolism of you feeling lesser is evident to him and he can’t stand it.

He turns to face you as you take a seat next to him, his hand resting comfortingly on your leg. “That phone call, I didn't say all that. That wasn't me, you have to believe me" he begs you to trust him.

"Yeah, I know," you respond with a bitter scoff, recalling the manipulative tactics of your mother. The skater's expression shifts to confusion as you continue, "My mum did that too, another thing that’s going to sound even crazier than breaking your skate."

You recount the incident with the AI recording, detailing your mother's desperate attempts to win her bet and her willingness to destroy your relationship in the process. With each sentence, his bewilderment deepens, his eyes widening and narrowing, and his mouth opening and closing in disbelief.

"Wait, seriously? It was AI?" he interjects once you've recounted every bizarre detail.

As he grapples with the revelation, you seize the opportunity to provide some comfort, gently wiping the sweat from his brow and pushing his dishevelled hair back from his face. The tension seems to ease from his features.

You pout at him, the weight of guilt settling heavily in your chest. "I'm really sorry for not believing you when all of this came out," you admit, your voice tinged with remorse.

He reaches out to take your hand in his, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin, "No, no, Sweets, it's okay," he reassures you, his tone soft and understanding, "She even gaslighted me for a second,” he suddenly starts to chuckle, “I thought my biggest worry was people making those ‘If Sunghoon sang Chase Atlantic’ AI TikToks.”

You laugh with him, knowing what he’s talking about. One day he came to you and showed you a video of him singing Slow Down which creeped you out and impressed you all at once. 

The moment of laughter dies down, the break in tension creating much-needed relief for both of you. This whole scenario is so fucked up it’s hard to believe, you’re just thankful Sunghoon is so understanding.

“What about Minhee?” he asks suddenly, passing the confusion to you, “Like, how is he in all of this?” 

Sunghoon’s concern for your brother, whether big or small, makes your love for him pound in your chest. Even after everything, he was still asking about Minhee which meant he might not hold a grudge, and more importantly, not go to the board.

Is it selfish to think that right now? To still be concerned about Minhee’s career?

Your boyfriend sees your eyes twitch, his telltale sign that your mind is racing, “Sweets?”

He breaks your thoughts, “Oh, he’s uh, he’s just stressed I think. I need to properly speak to him at some point and figure out what he wants to do,” you shake off the idea that Minhee won’t get to achieve his dream, scared that you might manifest it by accident.

Sunghoon nods, sighing deeply as he sheds any of the weight that was held over him. He wishes you would have trusted him when you heard the audio, but he does understand. Sometimes, he can be too understanding and he knows this, but it’s so easy to forgive or find reasoning for your actions.

Which will help you with your next request.

"Please don't go to the board," you finally confess, your voice barely above a whisper. It takes every ounce of courage you possess to voice the plea, but you know you have to ensure your mother hasn't irreparably damaged Minhee's chance at the Olympics. You need to see him succeed - he deserves it more than anyone.

Pressing his forehead against yours, he smiles, the warmth of his breath mingling with yours, "I won't, I promise. For you though, only for you."

The weight that's been pressing down on your shoulders suddenly lifts, replaced by an overwhelming sense of relief. You almost cry at how patient and understanding Sunghoon is, you wonder if you’ve ever met anyone like him before.

There’s a comfortable calmness in the air, his nose nuzzles against yours as he smiles contently, happy to have you back beside him. The past two days felt like weeks. It made him realise just how important you are to his life. He can’t live without you and never wants to be apart.

“So is Minhee…cool with us?” he asks gingerly.

Your face lights up as you lean back, “Actually, he’s completely fine with it, well, he said he still doesn’t like you but you make me happy. That’s all he wants.” 

Minhee and you will forever prioritise each other's happiness above all else. These recent events have underscored that sentiment, even if it took some time to fully grasp. Ultimately, you both want nothing but the best for each other.

Sunghoon appears genuinely surprised by your declaration, his eyebrows shooting up, "Really? No resentment or anything?"

"Really," you confirm, observing his reaction closely. "He... he actually told me about forbidding you from seeing me all those years ago," you add, realising his astonishment at the news about your brother being on board with your relationship likely stems from the years of Minhee pushing him away from you.

Flushed, Sunghoon shuts his eyes, “No, he didn’t,” he winces at the idea of you finding out about his long-term crush on you.

“He did. Told me how you begged him to let you take me to prom too,” you gloat, a massive triumphant smile on your face, “You loooved me all those years ago, you have to admit it now,” you joke and his face turns even redder. 

Typically, Sunghoon is being chased, so to have this hanging over his head in your relationship, he knows you’ll never shut up about it. He will admit though, that the look of delight on your face is almost worth the embarrassment.

“Okay, yeah. But blame Minhee for making us miss so many years together, okay? He was shit scary back then. I thought he was going to skin me alive,” Sunghoon recollects asking him if he could ask you out to the cinema, an innocent tiny date and Minhee, the scariest 14-year-old there was to ever live at that point, well to Sunghoon anyway, practically ripped his head off.

Prom was a mistake, he was simply asking if you had a date to prom. Yes, he was going to ask you if Minhee said no, regardless of what your brother would say, but the fire in Minhee’s eyes wasn’t one to be messed with and by this point, he was a gym-attending 19-year-old with an extra protective layer over you. Enough said.

You giggle and take his hand, offering him a sympathetic smile, “He was scared to lose me.”

"Who wouldn't be," he responds without hesitation, his tone serious and sincere.

His immediate reply catches you off guard and you do a double take, surprised by the sudden intensity in his voice.

Sunghoon wasn’t just saying it; he was petrified at the thought of losing you, especially after your mother's deceitful phone call. The look of betrayal on your face had cut him to the core, a pain he never wanted to inflict upon you. He loved you too much for that.

As you process his words, you realise there's a deep emotion behind them that you hadn't fully grasped before. Sunghoon's admission hangs heavy in the air, revealing a vulnerability. Your heart clenches with empathy, knowing that his dread of losing you is deep. You softly squeeze his hand, silently expressing your empathy.

You felt the exact same way about him - terrified of losing one of the people who means everything to you.

"I'm sorry," you say quietly, your voice full of regret, "I never want you to feel like you're going to lose me."

Sunghoon's gaze softens as he meets your eyes, a flicker of emotion dancing in the depths of his own. He brings your hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss against your knuckles, "I know, Y/N," he murmurs, his voice filled with reassurance, “I’m not letting you go anyway, you’re stuck with me now.”

You laugh, shaking your head. There's a silent vow between you both to cherish and reassure each other whenever you have to, “Can we start again?” 

“Yeah, of course, Sweets.” He plasters a genuine grin on his face, elated with the idea of putting all the negativity and lies behind the relationship and starting fresh.

You stretch out your hand, teeth showing as you smile, “Hi, I’m Y/N Kang. I’m your biggest fan.”

Sunghoon’s heart pounds loudly, you are his fan but to him, you’re more like an extractor fan. If you don’t have one of those, things go rotten and that’s exactly what it felt like without you. He needed you to such the poison and pain from his bones, he selfishly needed your love to make him feel alive. 

He wants to provide you with that same feeling.

Taking your hand he smiles widely, mirroring your enthusiasm, “I’m Park Sunghoon. I am your biggest fan.”

________

The bleacher seats are your makeshift study space, textbooks and notes scattered haphazardly around you as you bury yourself in preparation for the looming winter exams. The chill of the air contrasts with the warmth of your determination; you had an award to uphold after all.

Meanwhile, your boyfriend is focused on a different kind of preparation. With just four days until nationals, he's dedicated himself to ensuring his ankle is in peak condition. Despite having twisted it just a few weeks ago, he's pushing himself hard, determined to perform at his best on the ice. When he pushes himself a little too much, you’re there to pull him back, or rather nag him to be careful

You steal glances at him whenever you can. Despite the injury, he moves with a fluid grace, his dedication evident in every precise movement. If you didn't know better, you wouldn't even guess that his ankle had been injured at all.

As you bury your nose in your books, a sense of admiration washes over you. His resilience and commitment inspire you to push through your own challenges. Granted, yours is a little less intimidating, the exams you’ll take will be confined to a week inside a study hall whereas Sunghoon is skating in front of thousands and being broadcast on TV. 

Lost in your studies, you're suddenly jolted back to reality by a soft tap on your paper. Glancing up, you're met with a warm smile from your boyfriend, his eyes twinkling with affection, “You’re so serious when you’re focused,” He laughs, leaning over the barrier of the ice rink. 

“Are you done?” You ask enthusiastically, hoping to get out of here and get the dinner he promised you 3 hours ago; your stomach wasn’t prepared to be denied food for so long that it started to speak to you about an hour ago.

"Just about, baby. You wanna go for Italian?" Sunghoon suggests, his eyes twinkling with mischief. His suggestion makes you smile; you've been raving about gnocchi for the past two days, and he's clearly been paying attention.

As you agree, his grin widens, and he leans in close, "Great, I'll go get changed and be right out," he declares, excitement bubbling in his voice.

Leaning over the barrier, Sunghoon puckers his lips in anticipation of a kiss to which you gladly oblige, pressing your lips to his in a sweet, lingering kiss. The brief moment of affection leaves you both with a warm, fluttering feeling in your chests. With a final smile and a promise to meet you outside, he disappears to change, leaving you to gather your books and laptop.

Packing the last of your highlighters into your bag, you hear the entrance door open. Peeking over the seats, you see a familiar face walking down with his gym bag slung over his shoulder and earphones in.

"Minhee?" you question, hoisting your bag onto your shoulder before walking over to him. "Mini?" you call out louder, ensuring he hears you.

Your brother jumps a little, clearly not expecting to see you at the rink. "What are you doing here?" he asks, a hint of surprise in his voice.

"Sunghoon's taking me for dinner. I was just studying while he trained," you explain, hoping to alleviate any concerns he might have.

Your reasoning earns a thoughtful hum from Minhee. It's still strange to talk about Sunghoon so casually with him, especially after keeping your relationship a secret for all those months.

"Is he here?" Minhee glances around, searching for any sign of Sunghoon.

"He's getting changed," you reply, nervously biting your lip. Despite Minhee giving you the green light for dating, there's still a lingering apprehension about them being in the same room together, especially after "skate gate," as Sunghoon dubbed it in an attempt to lighten the situation.

There is still some part of you that dreads them in the same room together, apprehensive to what they’ll do. Minhee is overprotective of you and Sunghoon is, well, he’s got a wrap on his ankle thanks to your brother. 

Suddenly, the door to the dressing room swings open, and Sunghoon emerges, looking refreshed and ready for your dinner date. His expression is bright, his tunnel vision for you renders Minhee nonexistent to him. It’s not until he gets closer that he notices your older brother.

Once his eyes shift to Minhee, Sunghoon’s smile falters ever so slightly. He also doesn’t know how things will pan out but he knows he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

“Minhee,” Sunghoon nods towards him which Minhee returns, “Are you training tonight?” You appreciate the civilness your boyfriend is trying to engage in, you know he’s doing it for you but hopefully, later on, he’ll do it because he and Minhee are actually getting along.

You can only dream of the day.

“Yeah,” he says sharply but there’s a wave of something in his eyes, something that happens when he’s thinking, “Actually, since you’re here can I talk to you? Privately,” Minhee glances at you as he says privately, indicating that he no longer wants you in the conversation.

Sunghoon looks to you for approval which you grant him obviously, hoping he’ll tell you what Minhee wants during dinner, “Sure. Coaches office is free,” he suggests, pointing with his head.

Your two boys stride over to the office and lock the door behind them.

Now, you could eavesdrop, and make sure no one throws a punch, but you’re trying to be optimistic about their relationship, so you leave them be.

Taking a deep breath, you remind yourself to trust in their ability to handle the situation maturely. After all, both Sunghoon and Minhee care deeply for you, they wouldn’t want to make this any more uncomfortable for you. 

Fighting the urge to pace, you take a deep breath and try to distract yourself with thoughts of the upcoming dinner. Maybe you’ll have a glass of wine with dinner tonight, and try something new. You could get dessert if you convince Sunghoon to cheat on his meal plan for a night. 

Who are you kidding? All you can think about is what is going on in that office, no attempt at distraction will help you now.

It’s increasingly difficult for you to resist chapping the door and pestering them to let you in on the gossip. What could be so important they couldn’t talk about it in front of you?

15 minutes pass but it feels like an eternity as you anxiously await their return. If one of them comes out with a black eye, you’re ditching them both, leaving them high and dry. You really hope it doesn’t come to that.

Finally, the door to the coach’s office swings open, all limbs and eye sockets intact, which is a good sign at least; however, their expressions are unreadable as they walk towards you. There's a subtle shift in the air, something lingering between them, though they try to maintain a facade of normalcy.

"Ready to go?" Sunghoon asks, his tone gentle as he kisses the top of your head lightly.

You nod and look between both of them, “What did you guys talk about?” There’s no grace of subtlety when it comes to you and your curiosity; you know it has something to do with you, you just wanted to know what.

Minhee and Sunghoon exchange a knowing glance before your brother answers, “Just giving him some brotherly warnings…right?” he says it so casually but his tone is cryptic. You know there is more to it than that.

Linking your fingers with his, Sunghoon grips your hand tighter, offering you some reassurance amidst the swirling thoughts in your mind. He knows you're probably considering every possible conversation they could have had.

"Nothing to worry about, Sweets. Minhee was just swinging his big brother ego around," Sunghoon says, his voice gentle but firm. There's a playful twinkle in his eyes that eases your nerves, if only slightly.

Rolling his eyes, Minhee sighs, "Whatever, Park. Remember what I said, yeah?" he tries to pass it off as banter, but there's a serious current weaving through his voice, catching you off guard.

Sunghoon nods in acknowledgement, a silent knowing between them, "I got it," he replies, his gaze locked on Minhee with a sense of respect and understanding. This newfound dynamic between Sunghoon and Minhee is unfamiliar, and you can't quite decipher whether it's a positive or negative development. 

"Enjoy your dinner, Bubs. Make sure he pays," Minhee points to Sunghoon before waving you both off and heading to the changing room.

As Sunghoon pulls at your hand, leading you out of the arena, the silence hangs heavy between you. He doesn't offer an explanation so easily, much to your dismay. 

"Your brother is a shark, can I say that in the most respectful way?" Sunghoon finally speaks up, breaking the silence with a hint of amusement in his voice.

You chuckle softly, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, he's super protective," you acknowledge with a touch of pride in your voice.

"He really is. He’d do anything for you…" Sunghoon trails off, his expression thoughtful. You want to ask what he means but you resist the urge to pry further.

"Are you guys okay? You didn’t fight or anything?" you venture tentatively. 

Sunghoon offers you a reassuring smile, his eyes warm with sincerity, "I think we're besties now," he quips, trying to lighten the mood. You can't help but smile at his attempt to ease your worries, "C'mon, let's go eat, I'm starving," he suggests, kissing you quickly as you reach his car.

You are grateful they managed to have one discussion without throttling one another, even going as far as to make lighthearted jokes and playful jabs.

Baby steps, you suppose.

_____

Emerging from the restaurant and making your way to Sunghoon's car, your face radiates with laughter, tears glistening in your eyes.

"Did you genuinely believe she was asking for your autograph?" you tease, barely able to contain your amusement.

Sunghoon rolls his eyes, “Baby, it isn’t that funny. She literally ASKED me to sign it.”

“Yeah, the bill because you used your card,” as you say the words, another heaved laugh comes out, “You were so confident to think she was your fan.”

Crossing his arms, Sunghoon huffs playfully, feigning annoyance, but he can’t stop the smile from creeping on his face as he looks at you. With your face so bright and that beautiful song of your giggles, Sunghoon can’t stop looking at you, admiring you in this moment.

As your laughter subsides, you catch him staring at you intently. "What is it?" you inquire, noting the uncharacteristically serious expression on his face, devoid of its usual sarcastic pout in situations like these.

"I just love you so much..." he trails off, halting by the passenger door of his car, his voice tinged with vulnerability, "The thought of losing you was terrifying."

Sunghoon understands that you've both overcome the misunderstandings and manipulations caused by your mother, and you're in a better place now. Yet, the prospect of almost losing you because of it still haunts him.

You pout at his words, bringing your hands up to stroke the apple of his cheeks gently, “I hated it too. You’re so important to me, Hoonie,” you whisper, eyes softening at his words.

The months you’ve spent with him have been the best of your life, you could never deny that. Your relationship with him hasn’t been easy, interference from too many outside parties threatened to ruin it all, to rip you from your soulmate, but you will never let it happen again.

You place a timis kiss on his nose, “I promise that nothing will ever take me away from you again, okay?” you look at him with sincere eyes, hoping he truly listens to your promise.

He nods, closing his eyes with a serene smile, his graceful hands enveloping yours, imparting a comforting warmth. Foreheads touching, he savours the moment, soaking in the palpable connection between you both. He just wants to feel your love.

Never in Sunghoon’s life did he ever imagine finding love like this. Although he always knew he loved you, he didn’t know how intense his feelings were until suddenly you weren’t there anymore.

He smiles, eventually opening his eyes to look at you, your gaze holding nothing but love, “Will you come back to mine?” he asks as though this is the first date and he’s testing the waters to see if you’re interested.

“Actually,” you smile, pulling away from him slightly, your hands trailing down to fix the collar of his coat, “Minhee went out with Jungmo and my mum’s recently been going out at night so…”

Sunghoon's heart skips a beat at your implication, "Are you inviting me over?" he asks, his ears buzzing with anticipation.

You nod, a hint of nerves sneaking through as you bite your lip. "Yes, if you want to."

Considering the offer, he weighs the options carefully.

On the downside: it's a risk with your mum potentially returning home soon, the early morning departure could be awkward if he encounters your brother, and there's the potential for discomfort in the morning.

On the upside: it's a shorter drive to your place, he's curious about seeing your room, and it's the only location where he hasn't fucked you yet.

"Alright, let's go for it," he grins, the allure of the last pro eclipsing the rest.

Sunghoon opens the door for you and you settle into your seat and fasten your seatbelt while he slides into the driver's seat, starting the car.

As the car glides down the dimly lit streets, Sunghoon steals glances at you, a mixture of excitement and nervousness flickering in his eyes. The anticipation within him builds with every passing moment, the silence between you thick with unspoken desire.

With a playful smile, you break the tension, "Why do you look nervous?"

Sunghoon chuckles, his fingers drumming lightly on the steering wheel, "Not nervous, excited,” he corrects you.

You eye him up and down, “Okay then, why are you excited?” 

Sunghoon lounges back as you hit a red light, taking the chance to look at you, “It’s like I’m entering enemy territory, like on those video games Jake plays all the time. I’m entering the red area, risking my life while I got on stealth mode,” he explains, getting even more giddy as he speaks about it.

“Hoonie, no one else will be home, I’m hardly sneaking you in.”

“Shhh, it’s no fun if you put it that way,” he chuckles, placing a hand on your thigh, “When I forward roll into your entrance, leave me be,” he plays.

Luckily for you, when you both arrive, Sunghoon refrains from spy rolling into your house like he’s an elite operative. Instead, he is waiting to be invited in like Stefan Salvatore.

“Baby, come on in, nothing gonna bite you,” you giggle as you take off your shoes.

Following your orders, he walks in and takes a look around the familiar entranceway. Nothing has changed since he was last here, just before your ceremony; aka, he’s noticed not one of your award pictures has taken pride of place next to your brothers. 

You hadn't shown your mother the pictures, nor did she inquire about how it went. Her indifference was something you had learned to accept, albeit reluctantly. It wasn't the ideal situation, but like Sunghoon, you had found solace and love in other places where your mother left a void

Coming to that acceptance was cathartic.

You lead him up to your room, a bright smile on your face. It was surreal to have this opportunity to have him amongst your creature comforts, like finally all the pieces of your life have come together.

Sunghoon stops you as you go to reach for the handle, “Wait!” he rushes out. Inhaling deeply as he jitters around like a boxer about to walk into the ring, each little jump and hand tremor making you laugh. You would mistake it for nervousness again if he wasn’t beaming at the door like an idiot 

“Will you calm down, this isn’t anything spectacular, It’s just my room,” you shake your head, looking at him as he continues his jumps of glee. Nothing you could say to him would stop him from acting like a child on Christmas morning, “You’re such a dork,” you snort, placing your hand on the handle.

Before opening the door, you mentally hope you tidied up before meeting him today. To your relief, the room is cleaner than you recall, albeit with a stray sock and some shoes strewn where your wardrobe is. You signal for Sunghoon to come, and he enthusiastically skips inside, looking about with inquiring eyes.

His attention moves across the shelves filled with books and trinkets, the cosy bed with its assortment of plushies, and the desk cluttered with papers and pens. Sharing this space with him creates a sense of intimacy and vulnerability, as well as elation among you both. Having him here feels like you can finally call this your home.

Sunghoon's smile widens as he takes it all in, his eyes sparkling with delight, "This is nice," he remarks, his voice soft with appreciation. 

You nod, feeling a surge of happiness at his reaction, "I'm glad you think so," you reply, watching as he moves further into the room, exploring every nook and cranny as if it holds some secret treasure. 

Just looking around your room is giving him further insight into your life. As your boyfriend, he knows a lot more than most, yet, seeing your soul laid bare in these four walls is opening him up to understand you deeper. 

From the 2 minutes he has spent in your room, he has just found out that you collect far too many earrings, your favourite highlighter to use is pastel pink, you had an emo phase that you neglected to tell him, and you’ve been to 4 fan signs for TO1. It’s tiny, insignificant details, but Sunghoon wants to know it all.

His eyes happen to fall on a picture of you and Minhee when you were kids, “I remember this!” he exclaims, fangs showing as he twists the picture to show you as if you don’t see it literally every morning, “This was the Youth of Skating competition when we were 13,” he reminisces.

"Wasn't I just adorable?" you remark, playfully cupping your cheeks and flashing a wide grin as you try to mimic your younger self captured in the photo.

With a laugh, Sunghoon gently sets the frame back on your desk, nodding in agreement, “The prettiest one in the crowd by far,” he murmurs in a soft tone, mirroring your joy. It's as if your face radiates sunlight, and he basks in your vibrant glow.

Closing the distance between you, he replaces your hands with his own, leaning in to kiss you. His lips are tender as they meld with yours, his touch gentle as he affectionately squishes your cheeks, “You’re still the most beautiful person I have ever seen.”

Your heart quickens as he whispers sweet nothings into your mouth, his words mingling with the gentle exploration of his tongue, "I don't buy it," you tease, playfully pushing his hands away from your red cheeks, "You'll have to prove it to me," you challenge with a mischievous glint in your eyes.

A playful smirk dances across Sunghoon's lips as he accepts your challenge, his eyes sparkling with determination. With a soft chuckle, he gently captures your hands in his, intertwining your fingers as he pulls you closer.

"Oh, I intend to," he murmurs, his voice husky with desire. Leaning in, he presses another lingering kiss to your lips, his touch sending shivers down your spine. Slowly, he trails his lips along your jawline, leaving a trail of feather-light kisses in his wake. 

He takes off his jacket, tossing it on your desk chair all the while he’s nipping at your neck. As his hands swiftly remove his t-shirt, revealing his sculpted bare chest, your eyes are drawn to the faded hickeys scattered across his skin. You had really done a number on him a couple of weeks ago, the purple still tinting his pecks. 

Before you can fully appreciate the sight, he bends down, effortlessly scooping you up, his lips showering kisses all over your face. Your breath catches at the warmth of his touch sending a flush to your cheeks, "Sunghoon," you gasp, feeling his urgency mirrored in your own desire.

Laying you gently on the bed, his chest pressed against yours, he trails his hands up and down your body, igniting flames of longing with each touch, "I know, Sweets," he murmurs, his voice laced with possessiveness, "You want me to fuck you, yeah? Prove to you that you’re the most gorgeous girl?"

“Yes,” you huff out desperately.

“Then be a good girl. You can do that for me, baby, can’t you?” he whispers into your neck, licking a stripe up your vein.

His words dance down to your pussy, arousal pooling between your legs as you eagerly nod in agreement. His confidence mixed with his praises only fuels your desire, the promise of being his good girl setting your pulse racing.

In a flurry of movement, his trousers and boxers are discarded, and he wastes no time in removing your jeans and underwear, leaving you bare and exposed to his hungry gaze. As he kisses up the tender skin of your inner thigh, his proximity to your centre sends waves of anticipation coursing through you.

“My beautiful girl, you’re all mine,” Sunghoon’s voice is low and smooth like butter.

The vibrations from his words send a jolt of need straight to your core, the ache for his touch almost unbearable. As he teasingly presses a delicate kiss to your clit, you whimper in longing, your body yearning for the fulfilment only he can provide.

His hands slide up to the top of your thighs, holding them down and apart as he nibbles gently at the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. A shiver of anticipation courses through you as your hips instinctively push up, yearning for the touch of his mouth where you need it most.

Sunghoon responds with soft, warm kisses across your core, each one sending waves of pleasure rippling through your body. Then, with deliberate slowness, he traces his tongue upwards, sending a shudder of delight through you as he explores every inch of your pussy.

Kneading your hands through his hair, you grip tight as you beg for more and Sunghoon has no problem granting your wishes, kitten-licking your slit as he laps up your wetness. 

When he is going down on you, he is like a man possessed but now it’s much worse. He hasn’t tasted your essence properly since the breakup/makeup. Your boyfriend doesn’t like to go too long without your taste on his tongue, so here he is making up for lost time as he lays his tastebuds flat against your cunt, savouring every drop of you.

You pull his head back by his hair, eliciting a moan from him as you do so, the sensation of each strand being in your command causes his dick to jump in, “Fuck, Sweets,” he hisses, licking his lips clean as he looks up at you through hooded eyes, “Tell me what you want.”

But he already knows what you want, because, without your answer, he’s gathering saliva in his mouth before spitting it on your throbbing pussy, his fingers lathering you in it, “Go on, tell me,” he mutters onto your clit, digging his teeth onto it just enough for you to buck your hips onto his face.

“Fingers, Hoonie, I want your fingers. Please,” you plead, holding your hips up to his mouth in a desperate attempt to get some release of your friction.

“Not only are you gorgeous,” Sunghoon’s fingers find their way to your entrance, circling it teasingly, “You’re my obedient, perfect girl.”

Sunghoon smoothly slides his fingers inside you, opening you up and filling you with a sweet sensation. His attention never leaves your face as he looks for your reactions, making every movement pleasurable for you.

He sees your lips falling wide and your head cocking back in ecstasy as an indication to continue. His fingers hook into you, gliding back and forth in a smooth and luring pace that matches the rhythm of your desire, and caressing you just the way you like it. Each stroke sends waves of pleasure through your body, creating a fire of passion that becomes hotter with each enticing movement.

You're a moaning mess as Sunghoon expertly finds your sweet spot, thrusting his fingers harshly as he works it with precision, "Let it all out, baby," he encourages, his voice sending your head into a tizzy, "Show me how I'm making you feel."

His words alone could send you tipping over the edge, but it's the sensation of his tongue flicking your clit and the gentle suction that has you screaming his name loud enough for the whole neighbourhood to hear. Sunghoon doesn't stop you, revelling in the melodic sound of his name falling from your lips like a symphony of desire.

"That's it, angel, you're doing so good for me," he praises, his words only spurring you on further. The two fingers inside you continue their relentless rhythm, driving you to the brink of ecstasy with each delicious stroke.

Your hands instinctively push him further into your cunt as you ride his face, Sunghoon's skilled ministrations bring you closer and closer to your climax, and his tongue and fingers dance in perfect rhythm, driving you to contentment with each delicious motion. The overwhelming sensation clouds your thoughts, leaving you lost in a haze of pleasure that makes your mouth water with anticipation.

With a final, electrifying thrust of his fingers and a gentle nibble at your clit, you hit the edge of release, your chest and tummy tightening. And then, with a guttural moan that bounces throughout the room, you finally succumb to the overwhelming wave of pleasure that crashes over you, leaving you trembling and breathless in its wake.

Sunghoon continues to worship you with his mouth and fingers, guiding you through the aftershocks of your orgasm with tender care and devotion. Each touch, each kiss, each whispered word of praise only serves to deepen the connection between you.

He sucks and swallows your juices, smiling as he does so. Your walls have trapped his two digits inside you as you squeeze him tight, “Baby, relax for me,” he kisses up your stomach in an attempt to get your body to yield but your orgasm is too intense, “Shh, Y/N, breathe out for me beautiful,” he whispers as his face meets yours.

Opening your eyes, you see his gentle smile and etch a blissful one onto yours, his adoring gaze instantly rippling through your bones, helping your muscles to unknot themselves. The power he has over you is crazy.

"Told you I would prove it," Sunghoon chuckles softly, pressing a peck on the tip of your nose as he finally frees his hand from you. Shaking your head with a satisfied smile, you exhale deeply, prompting him to tilt his head inquisitively.

"Oh? Have I not done enough?" he questions, his expression filled with amusement.

"Nope," you reply smugly, popping the 'p' for emphasis, "You could do more to prove it."

Sunghoon feigns contemplation, his lips quirking to the side in mock thought, "I see, hmm…" he muses, his gaze scanning you from head to toe before he suddenly sits you up and onto his lap, taking your useless top off.

His favourite playthings are now sitting directly at eye level and Sunghoon feels spoilt for choice of what one to show attention to first. Left has always been his favourite, there wasn’t a particular reason as to why, he just instinctively went for it every time.

Before he can delve his mouth to attach to your perky nipple, you surprise him by gripping his shoulders with one hand while the other strokes his cock between your bodies. In reaction, his shoulders and back hunch over, his head now buried between your mounds. 

Your slicked hand pumps him at a vicious pace, yet the gentleness of your hand causes no discomfort. After all these months together, you know how he likes it, fast and rough with extra attention to his tip; so that’s what you do, after every fourth stroke you swipe your palm over his head, the soft skin now tinted red with need.

“Sweets,” he murmurs between your breasts, his tongue licking the valley like a helpless dog, “Let me be inside you, fuck I need it so bad,” he almost whimpers as you squeeze him.

Part of you wants to keep going and tease him but your heat is leaking for him, crying out to be stuffed by his cock. 

You lift your hips and guide him to your entrance, slowly sinking onto him, “Jesus,” you hiss out, his cock stretching you much wider than his previous fingers.

The pace you set is deliberate and unhurried as you savour the feeling of his thick shaft piercing into you, battering your cervix each time you slam down onto him. Sunghoon groans at the way your channel is enveloping him, moulding around him like a perfect fit. 

With each withdrawal, the tip of his cock catches on your entrance, teasingly, before he plunges back in, eliciting desperate pleas for more from your lips, "Hoonie, please, faster," you beg, your desire driving you wild.

It’s time for Sunghoon to take charge, his hands clasp around your back as he pulls you further into his chest, gripping onto your skin as he goes at you relentlessly. He delves so deeply inside you that the sensation becomes overwhelming, a heady mix of pleasure and need. Sunghoon's hand moves from your back to brush against your overstimulated clit, sending jolts of electricity coursing through your body, causing you to writhe on his lap, "Sunghoon, please," you whimper, your voice laced with desperation.

"What is it, baby?" Sunghoon's voice, soft-spoken and tender, stands in stark contrast to the force of his thrusts, each one pounding relentlessly against your core.

"Close," you gasp out, the intensity of your impending climax threatening to overwhelm you once again. If it were any other time, you might feel embarrassed by how quickly you're reaching the peak of ecstasy, but you know Sunghoon would understand. And he does because he feels the same way. 

Both of you have tangled in sheets for long enough that you both know one another’s body like the back of your hands. That, added in with the withdrawals, of course you were both cumming quickly. Neither of you particularly minded since it wasn’t exactly a hindrance but rather served as just another notch to add to the endless list of climaxes you could potentially have. 

The day that one orgasm halts your sexcapades for the night, is the day Ghostface will stop being hot. Never.

Sunghoon spits on your folds, his movements primitive but intentional. His fingers rubbed saliva into your delicate skin, focusing their attention on your swollen clit, pushing you to the verge of your high. These sensations are almost too intense to take, with his rough touch on your bud and the power of his cock ramming into your walls battering you in the most delicious way possible.

The other hand on your back trails its way to your left hand, clasping it in his as he intertwines your fingers, kissing your knuckles as he stares at you, love shining through, “I love you so fucking much,” he whispers out, his hips faltering slightly as he declares his adoration for you.

Nodding, you bite your lip, prying your eyes open to look into his, “I love you too, Hoonie,” you confess back to him, hips also losing their rhythm as you struggle to focus on anything other than the coil in your stomach.

You bring your lips to his hand, mimicking his earlier actions, “Cum with me, Sunghoon,” you whisper into the back of his hand, your lips parted as you suck in a deep breath, ready for release.

Your body convulses with pleasure as waves of ecstasy wash over you, leaving you trembling and breathless in their wake. Sunghoon holds you close, his touch gentle yet possessive as he guides you through the aftershocks of your climax with tender care.

Sunghoon kisses you hungrily, his lips engulfing yours in a passionate embrace as your words push him over the edge. With feral zeal, he releases his seed in you, the white strands of his desire flying straight into your depths and blending with your own release.

Your bodies melt together in the heat of passion and you both cry one other's names along with a stream of curses, lost in the throes of pleasure and need. Sunghoon punctuates each passionate proclamation with two simple utterings of "I love you," ensuring that his words are conveyed sincerely

As you come down from the euphoric high, you find yourself enveloped in Sunghoon's embrace, his love and adoration surrounding you like a warm blanket on a cold night. In this moment, with him by your side, you feel truly complete, knowing that you are loved and cherished beyond measure.

Laying you down, Sunghoon, slides out of you gently, making sure he doesn’t hurt you, “Sweets, where is your bathroom?” he asks but you’re still too fucked out to comprehend his question, leaving him to figure it out on his own, “Stay here, baby, I’ll be back,” he instructs, putting on his boxers and tucking his semi-hard cock into them. 

Leaning an ear to the door, Sunghoon assesses if anyone magically came home while you two were going at it like animals. The silence he hears elicits relief into his body as he opens the door, confident no other member of the Kang family will see his practically naked figure.

Opening a few doors through trial and error, he stumbles into Minhee’s room. The curiosity within him leads him to look around, hand searching for the light. Once he switches it on, he sees exactly what he was expecting, a clutter of mess placed in every corner. It’s similar to his room, decor-wise, but there’s one thing that he notices, standing prominent on Minhee’s nightstand. 

Sunghoon reaches for the picture of you at 3 years old, sleeping next to your older brother, hugging one another tightly. You’re wearing matching pyjamas and smiles with no cares in the world. He knows your bond with Minhee is strong, stronger than most siblings; he thinks perhaps that’s why it was so easy to forgive you for lying to him. Seeing this picture now only punctuates his thoughts.

And after his conversation with Minhee today, he knows you would both do anything to protect one another.

“What are you doing in here?” you ask, hugging him from behind. Your eyes stare at the picture in the frame and you laugh, “Oh my days, Minhee and I were so young back then,” you fondly pout.

Sunghoon wraps an arm around your shoulder, “I was looking for the bathroom to get you cleaned up but I came across his room,” he admits sheepishly, rubbing your shoulder.

“Hmm,” you acknowledge, taking the frame and placing it back on the desk. You pause your motions as you look around his desk. It had been a long time since you had been in your brother's room, possibly 2 years, but you don’t remember all of the clutter on his worktop.

Picking up the paper fortune teller, you can't help but laugh at the whimsical relic of your childhood, "I didn't know he kept all this stuff," you say wistfully, your fingers tracing the faded creases of the paper. Memories flood your mind as you recall the countless hours spent crafting these simple yet cherished treasures with your brother.

Your gaze then falls upon the painting, a colourful masterpiece that holds a special place in your heart despite its simplistic charm. "And look at this," you remark, your voice tinged with nostalgia. "I remember making this in nursery. It was supposed to be a house, but I’m clearly no Picasso," you chuckle, the memory bringing warmth to your heart.

Putting it back, you see the picture you sent him from your award ceremony, sitting proudly next to his mouse, “He printed this out?” you ask no one, “I thought this would be the last picture he would want to see every day.”

The picture didn’t just represent your achievement, it represented the lies you sat in for months without Minhee knowing. This picture was amongst the bunch that had you and Sunghoon sitting happily in love, an accidental click that exposed your deceit. 

Sunghoon kisses your temple, “He’s proud of you, baby,” he says, trying to ease your tense shoulders, “That night, sure, the aftermath was a shitshow. But you still achieved something amazing, and he’s proud.”

His words lighten you a little, a smile creeping on your face as you put it back. Shaking your emotions away, you look up at your boyfriend, “Let’s get out of here, I’ll show you where the bathroom is.” You push him out of Minhee’s bedroom, closing the door behind you.

“While you’re up,” Sunghoon follows you, hand in yours, “Why don’t we just take a shower?” he suggests, wiggling his eyebrows mischievously.

You roll your eyes and open up the bathroom door, “Fine, but only quickly, last time I started to shrivel up like a prune with how long you kept me in there,” you joke, turning the light on. 

Sunghoon smirks, “I promise, I’ll be quick,” he leans down to your ear, “I’ll just make sure I go at you rough and hard, hmm?”

taglist (closed!!): @heelee-01 @zerasari @beomgyusonlywife @iwaplant @monstanctiny21 @chiiiiiiiiis @minniejenseo @run2gyuz @jngwnlvs @haelahoops @capri-cuntz @nctislifue @jaehoonii @weyukinluv @skzenhalove @enhypenlovre @cherriruto @bambangan @who-tf-soddhi @nxzz-skz @nshmrarki @hotsforikeu @enhastolemyheart @erehkinnie30 @judeduartewannabe @neosexual @fakeuwus @positivelyinlovewithjungwon @tobiosbbyghorl @kimsunoops

[luciferlightbringer]

Love in a Hopeless Place

Chapter 8

Buckle up, kids

Chapter 7|Chapter 8|Chapter 9|Updated through Chapter 12

Lucifer x prostitute fem!reader Word Count: 4.9k CW: Slowburn, Angst,Prostitution, Hurt/comfort, trauma, fluff, cuddles, depression, anxiety, Sexual fantasizing, insecurity, alcohol/intoxication

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned into a couple of months as your relationship with each other and with the hotel crew continued to grow. It was nice not to have to worry about the "end of the world" clouding the dynamic, but both of you felt a little differently about the current progression of things.

Lucifer loved getting to give more energy to caring about you and Charlie, creating and feeling like he was himself again. The dynamic he had with you ended in more nights of chilling, doing not much of anything other than being with each other. He had attempted slipping in some more cute pet-names into the conversation with you, just to see how you would react, and you seemed fine with it, like everything he did. He kept ending up in the same spot when it came to figuring out how to tell you about his true feelings. His fear of being turned down was intense, but he was more worried about doing something to lose you completely. He logically knew that was silly, but he was so scared to return to the sad disconnected person he was before he met you.

You, on the other hand, were a little scared because of the simplicity and calmness of your time now together. You hade never experienced this in your living life, or hell, so it made you really uncomfortable. He had started calling you things like "Apple" and "Duckie" which you liked, but he was more focused on you and your needs, there was less for you to do. Was he trying to model more of what he needed from you? But then, when you tried to care give for him, he would tell you to just let him care for you. Was he getting bored of you? Were your days together numbered? Would he soon be ok enough to not need you anymore?

Ughh... and why did you care so much? You had numerous other clients drop off during your time with Lucifer, and you had not given them a second thought. Why was this so different? Had you become too attached? Well you definitely had... but why? What was it about Lucifer that had you clawing to make sure he still needed you around? Was it the connection to the hotel? That had definitely made it stronger, but you knew this feeling had lasted before you started visiting the hotel.

The hotel issues was another matter, Charlie had been trying you get you to move in for weeks, and you kept telling her that you needed more time to prepare. You hated lying to her, but you were worried about how that might complicate the relationship with Lucifer, and of course you could not tell her about the dynamic. You would hate for something to happen between you two and then have Charlie caught in the middle, or feeling like it was you or him. She had that enough between Lucifer and Lilith, she did not want to do that to you again. You wanted Charlie to remain fully on Lucifer's side no matter what happened.

You wished you could talk to someone, anyone, about what was going on, but you couldn't, and that drove you mad.

______________________________________________________________

One particular day, it was time for Lucifer to go off to another Sins meeting. Lucifer went off with to his meeting, blitzed through it with a lot more honest vigor and energy than the last meeting, was able to deal with Mammon's complaining, and got it all wrapped up in no time at all.

At the end, Asmodeus waited for the room to clear out before trying to chat with Lucifer again.

"Well, now, someone is in much better spirits from last time~" Asmodeus said wiggling his eyebrows and chuckling.

Lucifer waved his hand, "Oh, ppsssh, golly, is it that noticable? Well, you know, I just got some good advice from a friend, got my confidence and my daughter back, and I'm the happiest I've been in decades. It's not a big deal."

Asmodeus shimmied his shoulders with joy, "Ahh! I am just so happy for you. It's like I always say, there is nothing more healing than some good, earthshattering, dirty, mindless sex."

Lucifer froze, "Ya... a- about that... umm... there... uhh... there hasn't been any sex."

Ozzie paused and cocked an eyebrow at you, "Say what now?"

Lucifer ran some figures through his hair, "Well... t-there almost was! But... then I had a liiiiittle panic attack, she helped me through it and was so amazing about it, I cried myself to sleep in her arms, it helped me sleep and feel better, and then I've basically been falling asleep in her arms every night since..." He ended with a nervous smile.

Asmodeus blinked, and put his hands on his hips, "You fell in love with her, didn't you?"

Lucifer's eyes went wide, "Whaaaaa... no... pffft. You're silly Ozzie, me falling in love with a prostitute? That's... that's" Lucifer looked at Ozzie, holding his stance, cocking an eyebrow. Lucifer deflated, "That's... exactly what happened..."

Asmodeus chuckled looked around before looking back at him, "You wanna know a secret?" Lucifer looked up at Ozzie, Ozzie smiled and leaned in, "You aren't the only one who has fallen for a fling."

Lucifer stared at Ozzie, had the Sin of LUST fallen in LOVE. "Whaa.."

Ozzie help up a hand, "But. no questions right now, we are focused on you. So... you dating her now?"

Lucifer rubbed his neck, "Not exactly... we are together all of the time, but I haven't been able to figure out how to tell her. I'm scared that I'm just another client to her... and that the minute I'm open about this, the fantasy that I have been living in will disappear around me."

Ozzie shrugged, "Well... it might," Lucifer deflated, "butttt... it might also be an open door into the happily ever after that is the rest of your life! You can't let that fear get in the way. Look at what your daughter managed to do with her hotel, look at what you did with reconnecting with her! The risk was all there too, and look how those turned out!"

Lucifer thought, Ozzie was right, he just needed to figure out how to tell you. "Ok... any thoughts on how I should tell her, oh master of Love?"

Ozzie laughed and put a hand on Lucifer's shoulder, "Don't overcomplicate it, just treat it like any other night, adding crazy stuff might make her nervous. Be yourself, be open and honest. If all goes well, she feels the same way and your first real date together can be where you pull out all of your creative, romantic magic."

Lucifer nodded, "Ok... ugh... I'm just still so nervous."

Ozzie shrugged, "Nothing wrong with a glass of wine or two to calm the nerves. You can do this Luc, nothing the King of Hell can't handle." Ozzie started to walk out the door, then stopped, "Go get that girl man."

Lucifer gave a confident nod and teleported himself home. He looked at the clock, he only had.... several hours until you would be over. Ugh, this was going to be a long afternoon. He looked over at his bar, just one glass couldn't hurt? He would be good long before he had to go get you.

Well... Lucifer underestimated how nervous he was, one glass became two, two became four, and by the time it was time for him to go pick up up, he was having a hard time even standing up without swaying. Lucifer looked down at his left hand, and remembered he still had it on. He quickly took it off and put it next to his bathroom sink, touched up his hair, pointing finger guns at himself in the mirror and get set up to go get you. It took him a couple of minutes to get the portal activated and popped in your room, a few minutes later than usual.

You had started to get a little nervous, he had never been late before, but it was ok, he was allowed to be late. That is when he stumbled through the portal and into your room, almost knocking into you.

"Oh! There you are! You are always so prompt, I got a little worried haha," you laughed, straightening him out.

He looked up you, and then he melted into a lovesick smile, "Haha, golly, I'm s-sorry Duckie, the portal was being dumb, haha." He slurred, "I'mmm here now, haha. You ready to go?"

You cocked your head to the side and smiled, "Haha ya, you ok, Luci?"

"Of course my darling!" he said, wrapping an arm around your waist, before tapping his cane on the floor a couple of times, grumbling, before popping back to the manor. Lucifer looked over his cane in one hand, the other arm still remaining around your waist mumbling something about his stupid cane before looking at you, his face melting into happiness again.

"I'll fix it laterrr, hi theree, how are you? You look great todayy," he said hugging you and snuggling into you. You hesitantly hugged him back, you weren't convinced that something happened that day, he was being... more affectionate but... in a weird way. Was... was he drunk?

"Uh... ya I'm good. Busy day of clients, nothing crazy. What about you? Are you sure you are ok? You seem... different today," you said carefully.

Lucifer had no idea how he was coming off, he didn't realize how drunk he was, he had forgotten about the last two drinks in all of his anxious spiraling. "Oh ya, today was great! Sins meeting, paperwork, all went by preeeeetty quickly. Oh hells! Guess what? I was talking to Asmodeus, sin of Lust, right? Dude got a boyfriend! Crazy right? Well... not that he is dating his hook-up, but that the Sin of Lust found love! Oh shit... I wasn't s'pposed to say that. Don't tell anyone, k?"

You nodded, smiling, "Oh ya, that is funny. Not everyday that mindless sex turns into something meaningful, right? Especially in Hell with a Sin like that? But of course, I didn't hear anything" You nodded.

'Oh fuck! That's not what I meant, ughhh that's not what I wanted her to get from that.' he thought.

"I mean! I love the Sins, they always surprise me with ways will people that you never thought they would," he said with a nervous smile.

You played a long with a nervous smile, you didn't know why he was being so nervous and not just telling you want was wrong. But if it was that bad, he would probably burst at some point and then you could be there to support him again. You hated when something was stressing him out, but it made you feel good to feel needed. So you would play along for the night and wait.

"Ya! I totally gotcha! Just like the sinners at Charlie's hotel, even the Sins are able to grow and change," you said with a sweet smile.

Lucifer smiled his love drunk smile, 'Good, fixed it, that was close. She is so beautiful and smart, I love how she words things sometimes.'

Other than Lucifer's apparent intoxication, and him sometimes sneaking off to grab another drink to keep up the buzz, your night was no different than it normally was with Lucifer only... more affectionate? You were really confused, because everything about his behavior was staying something was wrong or that he was hiding something, but other than that he was being very sweet, a little more touchy than usual, which you were fine with, he was allowed to touch you however he wanted of course.

Oh! Maybe that was it! Maybe he was wanting to try being more sexually intimate again and he was just so nervous because of the last time! You wanted to be careful because he was drunk, and you still felt that consent was important, but leaning deeper into his pets and soft touches was not an issue as you snuggled watching tv. At one point, you even placed a hand on his thigh, and he melted into your touch.

As true at that was, for Lucifer overall, that was not his goal for the night. There were so many moments when he thought about just saying that he wanted to talk about his feelings, telling you how much he loved you and wanted you to be part of his life, outside of hiring you, and he wanted to know how you felt. But the stupid words just would not come, and all he could do was compliment you and touch you, playing with your hair and stroking your soft skin. He felt you start to lean more into his touch, and even putting your hand on his leg, ugh, he was going to die.

Eventually, Lucifer had wasted enough time and it was finally time to go to bed. As you two were getting ready for bed, he kept repeating in his head 'JUST FUCKING SAY SOMETHING, ANYTHING! YOU NEED TO TELL HER OR ELSE YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE YOUR FUCKING MIND!'

You had gone into his bathroom to wash your face, and you noticed the ring sitting on the side of the sink. Huh, weird, had Lucifer not been wearing his ring all day? Or did he just usually take it off at night and you only just now noticed? You shrugged, and walked to the bed to get ready for bedtime. You got under the covers and waiting for Lucifer, who was still sitting on the side of the bed staring out.

You were about to reach over to touch his arm and ask if everything was alright, but at that moment, Lucifer snapped. He looked at you, eyes full of desire, and jumped on top of you, pinning you to the bed under him. He just stared down at you, breathing heavily. This both excited and frightened you a little, this wasn't like him.

"Lucifer, what is goin-" you started.

"I love you!" he finally spat out. "I love you and I want you!"

You eyes went wide as you stared up at him.

WHAT.

No, you must have misheard. He... loves you? But you were a nothing? A nobody? Sure you had helped him but... wait, was this a roleplay? Or was this real? Did he actually mean "love" like lust, or like Capital L Love? You ran through every single element of your relationship with Lucifer that both supported and refuted his statement in mere seconds, fact and opinion, memories that you couldn't remember if you were now twisting to validate something more romantic of him than it actually was. Things hotel people had said, the way he had cared for or protected you. Was that actually because he loved you, or did he just want to protect his financial investment? Was this a sick joke?

Lucifer loomed above you, waiting for you response, looking like a tiger ready to pounce on his prey. God he looked so hot, you wanted him to just sink himself into you. No! Stop. You couldn't think quick enough. What should you do? Do you play into it and risk being wrong about what he means here, or do you reject him and wait until he is sober to talk through this with him? If this was a normal person, you would take the risk, but with him... You think about the man now suffering in an eternal loop of torture, you think about the ring on the sink that tied him still to Lilith, you think about how small and insignificant you were in comparison to this beautiful angelic being above you.

No. As much at it hurt, you could not risk reading this situation wrong.

Lucifer had started to lean down to try to kiss you, when you shouted, "No!" and pushed him off of you. In Lucifer's intoxicated state, he was slow to respond, so you were able to easily able to put him off of you before jumping out of bed, tears already streaming down your face.

'No?' he thought, 'What did she mean "no"'?' he thought. Lucifer sat up and looked at you staring at him, heavily breathing and crying. What had he done?

"I... I'm sorry... I don't... I have to think... I don't... I don't want to be wrong, or hurt you, I don't know what to do, what is the right thing t-to do," you choked through tears.

Lucifer started to reach out to you, "Wait... Duckie..."

"No... Lucifer," you started grabbing your stuff to go, "I'm sorry, I need to think about this... I can't do this while you are so drunk... I'll see you later, ok?" You ran out of Lucifer's room, down the long hallway, and out of the manor. You weren't going to even try the driver, you didn't want Lucifer to have the chance to stop you. You would run all the way back home.

"Duckie... (y/n)..." he said before sinking into his bed.

What had he just done?

_____________________________________________________________

You would run for a long time, crying all the way, not caring who saw you, until you got all the way home. You busted into the Lounge, trying to run through up to your room. But guess who stopped you in your path? Cynthhhhia.

"What's the matter crybaby? That big money daddy of yoursssss not give you a big enough tip tonight so you ran home crying?" she snarled at you, grabbing your arm.

"Fuck off Cynthhhhia, just leave me alone!" you said trying to pull you arm out of her grasp, and in retaliation Cynthhhhia instead wrapped her tail around your leg and then let your arm go, making you fall on your face. The patrons and girls in the rooms gasped, this was humiliating.

"How about you make me, bitch! Ya know, I'm sssssso ssssssick of you being Larry'sssss favorite and getting all the good clientssss, while I get jack shit! It's time you learned a lessssson, you ungrateful little bi-"

"Cynthhhhia! That is enough out of you!' Larry screamed. The room parted between him and you both. "Drop her now, and get over here. Gemma, go check on (y/n), will ya?"

Cynthhhhia huffs and lets you go aggressively, and makes her way over to Larry as one of your Lounge friends, Gemma, came over and checked on you. You told her that you just wanted to go to your room, Gemma helped pick you up and half-carried you up to you room while Larry chewed out Cynthhhhia.

"What in the nine circles is wrong with you?! I have had to talk to you about your behavior with customers so fucking many times, now assaulting another girl?! I wanna hear what makes you think this behavior is ok? I don't care if we are in hell, I am not having any fucking cat-fights in here, and you know that!" Larry scolded Cynthhhhia.

"Wha- I... Ugh! Why does she get all the good clientssss! You are clearly playing favoritessss or she is tipping you off or something. I am not getting paid nearly what I was sssssince she showed up. Why am I not getting any high rollersssss?!" Cynthhhhia snarled.

"Well maybe if you put as much energy into your clients as you do going after girls like her, maybe you would have people who wanted to utilize your services. You do not seem to understand the fact that I am not giving you to high rollers because you are turning customers away with your behavior, or they are asking not to work with you anymore!" Larry yelled.

Cynthhhhia gasped, and looked around the room to see other girls and patrons laughing at her, "That's not true!"

"Like it or not, Cynthhh, that is the reality. And since you still don't seem to be getting it, I'm going to give you one more chance to redeem yourself, and if you fuck it up, you are out do you hear me?" Larry said pointedly.

Cynthhhhia tipped her head down in defeat, "Fine, what is it?"

Larry moved to meet her gaze, "Three days, on the phones scheduling appointments for the other girls, no tips."

"But-" Cynthhhhia started.

"It's the phones or you're out, got a problem with that?" Larry glared.

Cynthhhhia pouted, "No sssssir..."

"Good, now, off the floor with you, you are done for the night, I will see you down here at 10 am sharp," Larry then turned and headed to go up the stairs to the apartments.

You had made it upstairs with Gemma, she had asked if you wanted her to stay, but you said no. You just wanted to be alone. Several minutes later, you would be a knock on the door and a "Babydoll? It's Larry."

You sniffled and sat up, "Come in."

Larry opened the door and sighed, "God she is a right bitch, I don't know why I keep her around at this point. Now, what happened?" he closed the door behind him, "I'm not used to you having any issues with Lance."

"It... I don't even know how to explain. He was kinda drunk, he wasn't acting like himself, he didn't hurt me, but he told me something and... because he was intoxicated... I didn't know how to react. He's... got a fair amount of influence... I worried what would happen if I misunderstood the situation. So I panicked, I ran. I'm sorry if he called to complain or anything." You said looking down, covering your face with your hands.

Larry thought for a minute, "Rough situation, intoxicated clients can make things hard. Most wouldn't care, but you have been working with him for a while, it made sense that you would want to stay in good standing with him and not want to fuck that up. Are you worried about future actions? Do you need me to put him on you "No Kiss List"?"

"No, no. Nothing like that..." you sigh and run your fingers through your hair, "I just... I think I just need some time to think... would I possibly be able to take some time off?"

Larry scratched his chin, "Well... I don't know, Babydoll. I could do a day or two, but much past that... I need you, you bring in a lot of money..."

You sighed, "Give me two days and I'll pay for two more of my own days time? That sound fair?"

Larry thought for a moment, "Deal. What do you want me to tell your regulars?"

You sighed, "Just tell them I'm going on a quick rejuvenating vacation, and that their girl will be back for them before they know it." It will worry Lucifer, but you needed the space, you didn't want to say or do anything to fuck up the relationship any more than it already had by you running from him that night.

"Can do." You give Larry the payment for two days on your own time and he leaves your room. "Take care of yourself, babydoll," he says closing the door. You are alone again.

You take your phone out, scroll for a bit before finding a hotel and a ride to the other side of the Pentagram from both the Lounge and Lucifer for the morning, and booked them for as early as possible. You just needed some time away to figure out what to do and to figure out how you were going to respond to Lucifer.

You tried to fall asleep that night, but sleep never came. You spent the rest of the night replaying the situation in your head. Did he really mean it? That he loved you? Did he actually care about you and want you in his life? Or was it all a trick? Why would he say that to you?

The next morning, you packed up, got in your cab and disappeared on your 4 day escape to other side of the Pride RIng, hoping that when you returned, you would have the answers.

______________________________________________________________

That same morning, Lucifer would wake up with a light headache, crumpled in a weird position on his bed. Where were you? Why was he sleeping so weird? The previous night was fuzzy, damn, he had overdone it on the alcohol... Had you just left? That was not like you. What happened?

He got up, put on a robe, and started to walk around the manor, looking for anything that might jog his memory of what happened the night before. Everything looked normal, and all he could remember was the conversation with Ozzie, being a little tipsy getting you, and feeling nervous. The later into the night he thought, the fuzzier everything got. He ended up back in his bedroom for hours racking his brain. He wished he had a way to contact you, to ask you want happened, and you try to figure it out with you.

A while later his cellphone started to ring, he looked at the number and his groggy eyes went wide, it was the Lounge. This was the first time that the Lounge had called him. He picked up the phone and put on his "Lance" voice.

"Uh, hello! This is Lance, what can I do for you?" Lucifer said in a deeper and huskier voice.

"Yes, hello, this Luxurious Lady's Lounge, how are you doing thissss afternoon?" Said Cynthhhhia as pleasantly as she could over the phone. She had done well playing nice on the phone all morning, so now Larry was leaving her to call all of your cancelations for the next 4 days.

"Oh you know, just living the dream!" Lucifer responded. Christ... why did he say that?

"That issss wonderful to hear. We jussssst wanted to let you know that your next appointment for tomorrow evening with (y/n) will be canceled. She will out of town for a little bit," Cynthhhhia said through a fake smile.

Lucifer felt a sense of dread go through his body, 'Out of office? So suddenly?' "Oh! Well thank you for letting me know, I hope she is alright, she is quite a gem, haha."

Cynthhhhia's jaw tightened, "Oh yessss, she just needed to essssscape on a quick rejuvenating vacation." Cynthhhhia looked around to see if Larry was around, he was nowhere, and the office was pretty empty, she smiled, "... Isssss what they want me to tell you, but I don't want to lie to a man like you, Mr. Lanccccce."

Lucifer's heart beat fast in his chest, "Haha, what do you mean?"

"The truth of the matter isssss... you've been put on (y/n)'s "No Kisssss List".... basssssically a ban from being able to work with her," Cynthhhhia said with a wicked smile.

Lucifer froze on the other side of the phone. Banned. She banned you. Months of joy and beauty between you two, severed in an instant. Lucifer felt like he couldn't breathe.

"I'm ssssso ssssorry to break the newssss to you like thissss. She just came back from a.... recent interaction telling usssss she... oh what was it, "Couldn't handle the bullshit anymore" isssss I think how she put it. But we have plenty of other ladiesssss that would be willing to take her sssspot if you'd like," Cynthhhhia continued, looking around for Larry again, still nothing, good.

"That's... disappointing to hear. I thought we had a good connection," Lucifer said flatly into the phone.

"Oh she issss really good at that, a good little actressssss but honessssstly a bit prissssssy and shallow under it all, trussssst me, I'm around her all the time. A real heartbreak, I ssssswear, I bet she would even break the King'sssss heart if she had a chance," Cynthhhia said laughing.

Lucifer saw red with that comment, 'What did she mean by that? Did you tell? Did they actually know it was me? Was that just a figure of speech?' His name got thrown around a lot, so he had no idea in this moment, it just felt really personal at that moment.

"I see, thank you for the information," Lucifer said before hanging up.

Cynthhhhia growled at the sound of the dead line, before putting down the phone, and making a note that "Lance" had been notified of a cancelation and would call back if he wanted to reschedule. Cynthhhhia then moved on to the next of you client's, feeling pleased with herself. If she couldn't have a a high roller, at least she could take out one of your big money daddies.

Lucifer laid back in his bed and tossed his phone over to the side. Everything he had feared happening had come true. Everything he had built with you was gone, and worse, maybe even a lie. He did not want to believe that what you had was a lie, but maybe he was just that stupid after all. He wanted to show up to your room and talk to you, but he couldn't. If he had hurt you or maybe you really were some shallow bitch... maybe this was for the best...

Lucifer crawled back in bed and stayed there for the rest of the day and into the night. He would respect your wishes.

Lucifer would never ask see you ever again.

______________________________________________________________

Can we see why I gave a warning on one last twist? I broke my own heart writing this. I'm so sorry. I promise it will end up ok in the end though for these two. xoxo, dany As usual, leave a comment if you want added to the taglist so that you can get notifications when future chapters drop! Taglist: @froggybich @wonderlandangelsposts @glowinthedarkbones1150 @marydragneell @crescent-z @superdinosaurnacho @jam0001 @kyo-kyo1 @so-get-this-sammy @lilzebeth @kelppsstuff @loquacious-libra @pinkhoneydrop @luleck @writer-girl99 @lavenz @stormz369 @littleladydemon @soujiswife @melday0105 @luluxx118 @sseleniaa @futureittomainn @cktkat @zaneyyyy @uravitsy @liecoris @starlitvenus @hannahrose130 @elleofdragons @butch-medusae @concentratedconcrete @erosamasan @stranger-chan @aquaamethyst96 @lxkeee @holyspacething @hulyenl @leximus98 @lu-ferri12 @mixplara @katnisspeetaprim

[chrollogy]

SIGNED: LOVESICK FOOL #02

iwaizumi hajime x f!reader

next | masterlist

synopsis: The sudden popularity over your first confession gives you the confidence to share more about your feelings for a certain someone. Meanwhile, Iwaizumi seems to be in deep thought, especially after reading the second confession—thanks to Oikawa.

chapter content warning: college au, fluff, mutual pining, iwaizumi is more lovesick than he lets on, oikawa is a lil shit, iwa has dimples!, not beta read.

word count: 2k

notes: divider: cafekitsune. ch 3 may be a bit late since i’m still in the process of writing it :> but enjoy !!!

The confessions page never piqued Iwaizumi’s interest, not that it wasn’t interesting per se but he just didn’t have the time to read about other people’s lives unlike you, and Oikawa. Sure, he’d spare a minute or two whenever it’d appear on his timeline but he never sought them out.

If Iwaizumi were to think back on the last confession he had read, it’d be about a student TMI-ing, and confessing how they did the deed with a random stranger in a park near the campus. As expected, the post blew up, and was the talk of the campus for a few weeks straight due to its bizarreness.

Of course, just like every other student, you, and Oikawa gossiped about it during study sessions—safe to say it absolutely drove Iwaizumi nuts because of how much he’s heard that same story over, and over again.

Whenever he came across a confession on his timeline, he’d scroll right past it but oddly enough, the recent post Oikawa read aloud earlier might or might not have piqued his interest.

For starters, Iwaizumi knew he was in the same predicament as the anonymous sender. As he mentioned earlier, it was not easy to have feelings for your best friend, especially if one’s day to day life included said person. He could only act nonchalant for so long before he’d finally break—though, with the long period of time he’s harboured feelings for you, it might be sooner than expected.

Iwaizumi has always wondered how he’s even holding up in the first place every time he remembers how long he had kept his feelings for you. 

It’s just that every single time you’re around him, it does nothing but test his sanity. Everything about you was just so loveable that it wasn’t a surprise when Iwaizumi found himself loving you more than a friend—the lingering glances, his crimson-painted cheeks, the softness of his voice, the warmth of his palms, all those were reserved for you.

And Iwaizumi wished that at least somewhere down the line, you reciprocated his feelings too, even if his love for you outweighed your love for him. At least then, he would experience the feeling of your beating heart against his palms. Oh, Iwaizumi would do nothing but treat it with the utmost care, as though it was a fragile flower—not too much water to drown it but also not too little to starve it.

“Iwaizumi?”

Pulled out of his trance, Iwaizumi blinked up at you, confusion growing on his face with each passing second. Fuck, he was deep in thought, wasn’t he? One minute the two of you were exchanging a conversation, and the next his mind wandered over to uncharted waters—a place he’s been dying to dip a finger into for the longest time.

“Now, you’re the one who seems stressed. Still thinking about your big assignment?”

“Yeah.” He lied.

In all honesty, Iwaizumi wanted nothing but to wrap his arms around you—be as close to you as possible, as though any moment away from your warmth would instantly end him. But Iwaizumi’s arms remained by his side, fingers drumming on the wooden bench beneath, a way to distract the annoying itch of wanting to be near your skin.

The late afternoon breeze blew past, a gentle caress of cold wind against his crimson-painted cheeks, as if mother nature herself cupped his face, and reminded him that everything was going to be alright. The trees danced as the wind intertwined with its leaves, forming a melodic sound to calm the mind.

Both of you were currently passing time before retiring to your rooms, as usual, Iwaizumi had waited after your late afternoon lecture but this time, it felt different. You found him leaning on the side of a vending machine, phone in hand while the other shoved in his pocket, an indifferent expression was plastered on his face—it’s a sight you’ve seen a thousand times, a sight you’re more than familiar with but why did it make your heart flutter so much now

It didn’t help how the subtle smile Iwaizumi sent your way had your knees buckling, and fingers curling tighter around the strap of your bag.

“Can I—” Iwaizumi started.

You noticed the way his fingers drew random shapes on the fabric of his pants, a nervous habit he’s picked up, one that you’ve learned from observing him. Though, you remained silent despite the slight worry in your chest, urging him on to finish his sentence; somehow, what was to come next may or may not have had your heart pounding. The hint of softness in his voice was enough to send your heart into overdrive.

“Is it okay if I lean on you a bit?”

Oh.

Iwaizumi had shifted closer, you knew because you were shielded from the cool late afternoon breeze, instead, the warmth of his body greeted you like a calm embrace. From the corners of your eyes, Iwaizumi looked at you, his dark emerald gaze was intense enough to burn holes through the side of your face—a searing gaze you didn’t know how to return. Yet.

So, you simply nodded. A subtle dip of your chin, eyes fixated on the distant tree line of the park as though it piqued your interest, funny how it's dark green hues reminded you of his eyes.

That was all Iwaizumi needed before closing the distance between your bodies, and leaning his head on your shoulder. You sucked in a breath, closeness was never foreign in the friendship but the feeling of his body flush against your own was enough to torture your poor, poor heart.

Speaking of your heart, you at least hoped that Iwaizumi couldn’t hear it violently pounding against the walls of your chest—how it aggressively wanted to jump out of its confines, and onto his palm.

Unfortunately for you, Iwaizumi heard just fine—he swore your heart stuttered.

Were you nervous? He wanted to be delusional, and think that he was the one making your heart race like this, even though he clearly saw the empty can of energy drink you threw in the bin earlier. Though, on the back of Iwaizumi’s mind, despite the low possibility of his reciprocated feelings, he was oddly confident that it’d never be zero. 

Maybe he was just purely delusional.

“Sorry for inconveniencing you like this, I’m just a bit stressed.” Another lie.

Oh, Iwaizumi wasn’t stressed at all. In fact, he was actually kicking the assignment’s ass that he’s almost a whole week early in submitting it before the scheduled deadline. If anything, it was all child’s play to him. The real reason he was doing this was to simply have you closer to him, nothing else.

He felt kind of bad for lying to you like this since it was a purely selfish reason but could you really blame his heart?

The two of you stayed in complete silence for a moment, basking in the afternoon glow of the sun. The park was now deserted, students, and other park goers opting to head home before the sun fully retired behind the horizon; it was peaceful, as though you, and Iwaizumi were in your own world—something you could both get used to.

Back in his dorm, Iwaizumi unceremoniously plopped onto his swivel chair, he hooked an arm over his eyes, recounting memories of earlier, he could still feel the warmth of your shoulder on his cheek, and the calming tune of your heartbeat.

“What’s got you all in a mess like that?” Oikawa spoke from his bed which caused Iwaizumi to jump from his friend’s sudden voice. “What the fuck, Oikawa?! Don’t do that.” The latter turned his chair to face the brunette, an all-too-familiar scowl written all over his handsome face. Oikawa could only shrug in response, amusement painted on his face at the state of his friend.

“You’re probably not gonna tell me about it so I’ll take it upon myself to talk about something else,”

Before Iwaizumi could even mentally pray that it’s not some stupid gossip, Oikawa was already sitting up on his bed, and clearing his throat to speak.

“Do you remember that confession I read out loud a few days ago? They posted another one, look.” The brunette hastily peeled himself from under the ivory covers, and within a second, he was in front of Iwaizumi, phone shoved abnormally close to the latter’s face, causing him to jerk back a bit.

Clearly, he had all the time in the world with how updated he was with this goddamn confessions page. Iwaizumi wasn’t going to lie, he remembered details about that particular confession from a few days ago far more than the contents of his lectures. Not on purpose, though, moreso out of his own will.

Every hallway he walked, every lecture room he entered, every café he studied at, and every bathroom he used, at least two students were talking about it. Iwaizumi couldn’t care to listen in on their conversations nor did he want to, it wasn’t like talking about it more would somewhat reveal the person behind these confessions.

Iwaizumi couldn’t even escape it even in his own room. Though, this was normal, as if the whole campus ran solely on juicy gossip.

Of course it was about that damn confessions page, Oikawa was practically it’s number one fan at this point, Iwaizumi bets the former probably has a ��Top Fan’ badge with how much he interacts with each, and every confession they post. He wouldn’t be surprised if the brunette openly admitted to sending in submissions to the page.

He grabbed the phone off Oikawa’s hand, and read it. Iwaizumi figured entertaining his friend’s antics would be much better than resisting it since he could get extremely annoying at times—all the time, even.

‘Today, I asked him if he was stressed and he agreed without hesitation. It pains my heart to see him beneath grey clouds; I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold him until all the stress drains from his body, until he’s smiling again and a subtle dimple forms on his cheeks, until he lets out a hearty, melodic laugh that I’ve grown to love but don’t be mistaken, I’ll love him whatever version of himself he presents. Wholeheartedly. Maybe—if only—he’ll let me be his safe space, not just a best friend but something more.’

Huh, how weird. Why did his heart flutter? This wasn’t even for him.

Iwaizumi’s eyes shifted back, and forth, back, and forth over each sentence until they reached the end. He did this for a total of four times, and each time—without fail—his mind wandered back to fifteen minutes ago where he was sitting on a wooden park bench with you, his head on your shoulder. It was like the confession described exactly what happened earlier.

He recounted your words, and how you were talking about how stressed he was. From this perspective, everything fit in perfectly like a puzzle piece but was Iwaizumi reaching too hard? Was his mind playing tricks on him just to convince himself that these two confessions came from you? As far as he knows, you’ve never even sent in a submission yourself but that didn’t mean you couldn’t.

Okay, maybe Iwaizumi was being delusional. All those years pining after you had finally gotten to his brain, and turned him into nothing but a yearning, pathetic man.

Though, the confession easily could have been from anyone. Not to mention how it's been such a tough semester so far, it made sense for the anonymous submitter to write about their best friend being stressed about something. Right? Right. Iwaizumi was getting way ahead of himself for assuming such things, he blamed it on his mind stubbornly shaping reality into things that benefited his situation.

He was looking too deeply into this.

See, this was the consequence of letting one Oikawa Tooru get inside one’s head, clearly, it’s the brunette’s fault for even showing something that didn’t concern Iwaizumi at all. And it could only get worse from here.

Oikawa impatiently pulled his phone away from Iwaizumi’s hold, reeling the latter back into reality. The brunette read the paragraph once more before letting out an amused hum, catching his friend’s attention.

He puckered his lips, brown eyes narrowed, and brows subtly knitted together as he stared at his phone. Oh. Iwaizumi didn’t like that expression at all, and he sure wasn’t going to like the words coming out of Oikawa’s mouth next. He knew that face all too well, it screamed nothing but mischief, and a thirst for chaos.

“Say, Iwa-chan, you have dimples when you smile just like the post mentioned. Haha—won’t it be interesting if these confessions were for you?”

What the fuck?

—

tags: @stunie @akumakitsune21 @boosyboo9206 @khfviq @avis-writeshq @elliesndg @1929sleepdeprived @wakashudou @lillycore @viscoolreal @lialia3945 @softpia @anqelkoz @tar0sw0rld @nwhaerin @kiyuwumi @seroh @eggyrocks @jellysupremacy @songofgratitude @gsyche @haikyuusunsalad @smellysluna @amoosarte (lmk if you wanna be tagged and don’t forget to turn your mentions on :3)

affiliated with @houseofsolisoccasum & @the-all-stars-network !

© chrollogy 2024 | don't plagiarise, repost or steal my header.

[exhaslo]

Hello! I really enjoy the last post you wrote involving the alternative outcome of Villain!Miguel x Hero![Reader]. I have another fun idea and it may be a little META.

Since there are a ton of Spider-Man 2099/Miguel O’Hara fics circulating around the internet…

How about a request with Spider!Fem![Reader] who secretly reads fanfics and smut fics she found from different universes in the multiverse? Let's say the [Reader] was reading fics involving her boss and the leader of the Spider Society, Miguel O’Hara since she is completely DOWN BAD for him. Then one day, she’s reading some smut involving Miguel and he catches her doing so.

He’ll probably tease her about it and things would escalate to something hot and spicy between the two Spiders.

- @club-danger-zone

*Looks around* Shall we break some cannon events? RIP SORRY FOR BEING CRINGE BUT LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOO

Warning: Minors DNI, Smut, teasing, size kink, dirty talk

------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was getting bad. You needed to learn some self control. You kept telling yourself that, but it was difficult. You had a big problem that involved your fellow Spider, the boss man, the big bad leader of the Spider Society: Miguel O'Hara.

You were head over heels for the man. He was the definition of FINE. Honestly, you never even knew that such a Spiderman existed. You, yourself, was a Spider-Woman. Like everyone else, you had your story and your life. The only thing you didn't have compared to the others was a person who loved you.

No Mary-Jane.

No Gwen Stacy.

Hell, no Peter Parker.

You were your own variant. It frustrated you. So, when Miguel brought you along to the Spider Society, you ended up simping hard for him. You had so many wet dreams about him. So many nights with whatever sex toy you had in your closet. It was getting really bad. You needed to get laid or find something to entertain you.

"Heeeeey, (Y/N), guess what I stumbled upon," Lyla appeared before you.

You had just entered one of the guest rooms that some of the Spiders used to crash for the night. You turned towards the AI, taking off your suit.

"That you found or Miguel?"

"Me! Miguel would probably shut this down if he found out," Lyla said with a grin, sending you something.

You were suspicious, but checked your mail anyway. You were very close to Miguel, in his inner circle, so you had access to Lyla. A sharp gasp escaped your lips as you saw the file before you. Lyla just appeared before with with a confident grin.

"That word doesn't have a real Spiderman. Apparently the Miguel there is in a movie. Soooooo, there are soooooo many stories involving him. You're going to enjoy the smut~"

"I-I can't," You said as you opened the first website, "You are a horrible influence. I will not read these!"

---------

"Oh my god, keep going," You whispered as you clicked on the next chapter.

Your cheeks were bright red as a wide smile engulfed your face. You were enjoying all of this smut far more than you would like to admit. Hell, it made those dreams of yours even more vivid. While it did not help with your raging crush, it did get your mind off of currently wanting to fuck your boss.

"Yes!" You squealed in joy.

"Someone is in good mood." Miguel said as he walked by, "You've been focused on your watch for the past week. What could you be reading from another universe?" He asked.

Your face paled as you quickly hid your watch. Miguel would never talk to you again if he knew. Hell, he might kick you out of the Spider Society for conflict of interest. That was the last thing you wanted.

"(Y/N)?" Miguel questioned.

Miguel could sense your nervousness. His senses were higher than everyone's. Sighing softly, Miguel motioned you to follow him to his office. He had originally approached you for another reason. He could never ask you about it though. Once the two of you were alone, Miguel looked at his watch and started to type away.

"Let's see...(Y/n)'s watch."

"W-Wait! Miguel, before you do-"

"Oh-" Miguel immediately made eye contact with you, "I didn't even know there was a world like this. Very specific."

"I-I'm sorry! I was just curious and you know...The stories were just so good-"

"His tongue swirled around your clit?" Miguel's grin widen towards your flustered cheeks, "The sheer size of his dick made you feel full?"

"M-Miguel...Y-You d-don't-" You bit your lower lip, feeling your body warm up as he read the story.

"I never knew you were into all this smut, and about me none the less. That explains why you smelled extra sweet this past week," Miguel muttered the last part, watching you, "You know (Y/N), you don't need to read these."

You glanced towards Miguel, watching him approach you. Your heart was racing as his body pressed against yours, pinning you to the wall. You could feel his hot breathe. This wasn't what you were expecting. He was teasing you for reading porn about him!

"I could have helped you instead," Miguel whispered in your ear. You stared right into his lustful eyes,

"So...I'm not in trouble?" Your voice was low as you leaned closer to him. Miguel chuckled lowly, his thumb pulling against your bottom lip,

"Do you want to be?"

"Depends on the punishment," You felt dazed as you leaned towards Miguel's lips.

"Read the story to me," Miguel whispered as he licked your lips before pulling away.

You whimpered lowly, your body craving him. Why did he have to do this to you? Miguel was just so tempting. You were folding hard. Without hesitating you pulled the story up and you started to read the story.

"His hands gently stroked down y-your waist," Your breathing shuddered as Miguel's hands started to do as you read. "H-His hips g-grind-"

"What's wrong? Can't even read me a story?" Miguel chuckled lowly as you watched you melt under him.

"H-His d-dick-" You gasped lowly as Miguel started to grind his hips against yours.

You whimpered quietly as you felt your panties get damper and damper. Miguel's face was so close to yours. Miguel brought his lips to your neck as he held your hips closer. His fingers rubbing circles around your hips.

"What about my dick?" Miguel chuckled as he felt you trembled, "Such a naughty girl, reading such things about me. All you had to do was ask,"

Miguel slowly undid the bottom of your suit, exposing your soaked and desperate cunt. He lifted you onto his desk, demanding that you kept reading. Much to his amusement, you did. Miguel resisted a groan as he took his dick out, rubbing it against your folds. Your moans were so sweet.

"M-Miguel s-started....s-started to...to e-enter-" You stuttered, trying to focus on reading, but was getting distracted. You whimpered a moan as Miguel started to push his tip inside you.

"You're sucking me in so well, you've been wanting this for how long now?" Miguel held your waist, sliding his cock deeper into you, "I could have made you feel good so much sooner. Were you that oblivious to my gestures?"

You cried softly as you focused on Miguel's thick length stretching your walls out. Your back rested against his desk, muffling moans as you squeezed against him.

"I-I guess so?" You told him. Miguel scoffed lowly before thrusting into you, "Ah~ W-Wait~"

"After making me wait so long? After masking my office with your sweet scent so many times? Amor (love), I've waited long enough and so have you."

You cried out a series of moans as Miguel started to slap himself into you. His dick making itself at home within your pussy. It felt so right. Felt so much better than you doing it yourself at home. You wrapped your legs around Miguel's waist, wanting to get closer to him.

"Who do you think gave Lyla access to those stories?" Miguel chuckled as you cam against his dick, "I grew tired of waiting and wanted to give you a little push."

"H-Hah~ Mhm~ C-Can...C-Can we do what some of those stories did then?" You begged. Miguel raised a brow as he pinched your clit, watching you squirm,

"That and more. My naughty girl needs to be punished first."

You moaned to his wishes, having him use you for his pleasure. Tears formed in the corner of your eyes, feeling your body grow hot again. With a grunt and a deep thrust, Miguel cam inside you. You shivered from the feeling, crying out his name.

"That's right. Now you're being a good girl," Miguel panted softly, soaking in the state you were in, "As much as I would love to continue, I have some reports to do. Why don't you pick your favorite story and we'll continue this tonight?"

"Mhm," You nodded towards his request, watching Miguel fix himself.

Miguel smiled before stealing a kiss from you before leaving. You nearly squealed as you fixed yourself up. Looking through all your saved stories, you felt a new fire light up inside you.

"Ohhhhh, I'm getting wrecked tonight~!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Haha, hope you enjoyed this!

[ja3hwa]

♡ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑 | 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐞 ♡

【Synopsis】 : Your life might of been turned upside down within only a couple of hours. But you can't help but think it was the best thing that could of ever happened.

『Word count』 : 3k

-> Genre: Suggestive. Supernatural. Dark Romance

Pairing: Ot8!Vampire!Ateez x Human!Reader [Currently Seonghwa/Jongho/Yeosang]

[Warnings] : Blood Drinking. Biting. Wounds. Gore. Swearing. Dirty talk. Yeosang is mean but isn't really. Jongho can read minds. Mention of all members having super abilities. Mixture of past and present writing. Clubbing. Pet names. Jongho give the best forehead kisses. Reader talks about her abusive past. Angst but Jongie is a soother.

Masterlist | Navigation | Mini Series Masterlist | Chapter Two

Yeosang was quick to hang up the phone once he ended his conversation with Jongho. His eyes were darting all over the bar trying his best to see if he could find the young woman he saw but alas she was gone. As if she was never there to begin with. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. He swore to himself over again, racking his fingers through his washed-out green hair. He turned away for only a second, how could she have disappeared? He rubbed his jaw quickly letting out yet another huff before turning to head back towards his office but as he turned he slammed right into someone.

“Shit!” He swore this time aloud, seeing his button-up was covered in sweet liquor. Stupid fucking humans. Stupid, disgusting hu─

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t even see you. Oh my, I’m so clumsy.” Your voice was sweet, like silk. He hates himself for remembering how you sounded. Your eyes finally caught him, but he was frozen, just staring at you with his mouth slightly agape. You were just as beautiful as the day they all lost you.

“Uh… It’s..It’s fine.” He was so caught off guard. You clearly didn’t know him. There was no recollection in your gaze. Just a simple apologetic smile that humans give one another when they don’t know each other. Were you even you? Were you just some human that looked like you? No. You had the same voice. The same twinkle in your eye that Yeosang died to see every chance he got. And….

“Well, I’m still so sorry. Here, I’ll pay for your dry cleaning.” You were being so kind to him. Kind to a stranger. Without thinking Yeosang Grabbed your wrist before you could pull your wallet out. You flinched slightly from the sudden movement of the unknown male, but you didn’t shy away from it. His touch wasn’t sending off red flags like other males who tried to touch you. No, there was something almost deja-vu like with his rough hand gripping tightly. You couldn’t explain it but it felt like you’ve been in this situation with him before.

Yeosang blinked a few times quickly, trying to find something anything to say to do. Ask for your name maybe? No, he can’t do that now in this kind of situation. So he just smiled. “No Need Pet. It was an accident.”

He let go of you roughly, which he didn’t mean but his mind was too focused on getting away from you so he could breathe and recollect his scattered thoughts. He didn’t even get you a chance to say thank you before he was off, weaving through the crowd so he could get to one of his men so they could put out a scout for you. He needed to keep you close, keep tabs on you. Needing to know who exactly you are before he says anything else to the others. Last thing he needs is someone like Mingi, Wooyoung or San having hope you are alive.

You, on the other hand, stood there for a moment. Trying to take in exactly what happened. you felt a little odd like something was unfinished. His face looked at you with such sorrow and loss. Did you remind him of someone? And why did he call you pet?

- The Past -

Yeosang had left you to wander the grounds on your own, saying he needed to finish his work before retiring to bed. You wished him a good night before heading through the halls, not before asking him directions of course. Thankfully you were on the right track anyway and only needed to take two more rights before finally stumbling into the vast kitchen. No one was here, strange? But given the lords of the manor were not awake in the day, it should make sense. No one needed to prepare food or supply lunching or tea to anyone during these early hours of the morning.

You grabbed a drink for yourself, trying not to disturb whatever order the kitchen had seemed to be arranged in. The cool water felt heavenly down your horse throat. From the screams earlier because of Seonghwa and then the tinge of pain that is still lingering from Yeosang’s fangs. It was no wonder the liquid was healing for your vocals. A mirror was situated in the corner of the room just behind the door. Most likely so maids or servers could check their appearance before being presented in front of any high socialite they may be a guest here on occasions. You glanced over at your neck to see two harsh red punctures. The blood was cleaned and dried from Yeosang tending to your wounds, but there was still some speckles of dried blood on the hem of your sleepwear. You couldn’t understand why you felt nothing upon seeing the marks. No fear, no sense of uncomfortableness or pain. Just simply is. Like this was normal. Like it had been the most mundane thing in your abusive life.

You might be a little fucked up.

But who could blame you? Your parents were vial, your siblings were useless, and your soon-to-be was a pig. You were alone until they showed up. Until they swept you off your feet─literally─and stole you away into some fairy tale. that’s what it felt like. Like you had fallen down the rabbit hole into wonderland just like the books you’ve read had suggested. Would that make you Alice then? Maybe you’d be more of a mad hatter?

“I think you are more of the white rabbit. Soft, cute.” You jumped, turning around to see a gentle-looking but broad beefy man. Jongho… did he, did he just read my mind? “I sure did honey. You have quite a lot in there for such a young sweet thing hmm?”

“H-how….” All these questions started running through your head. How could he read your mind? Do all vampires have this ability? Have all of them been about to hear your thoughts since you got here? Jongho was suddenly in front of you, using his super-speed to cage you between the door and his warm body.

“Slow down with the questions, honey. To answer them. I’m the only one out of us that can read minds.” That made you sigh slightly in relief. “Vampires when turned or born, gain one ability. For example, I can read minds. Seonghwa can bend water. Yunho has healing abilities. And the list goes on.”

“What does Yeosang h-have…” You gulped, feeling Jongho's body so close to yours. His one hand is perfectly perched on your hip while the other lies spread against the door. You try not to make your mind wonder if he is going to bite you like the others. Or the way his lips would feel on you. Any part of you.

You notice a darkness swirl in his eyes, watching you intensely. “He should be the one to tell you…” he didn’t let you say anything else as his head dipped to your neck kissing along the wound Yeosang had left prior. His cold tongue glided over both puncture marks, tasting the little bit of dried leftover blood that had been left behind. “Your mind wanders so quickly doesn’t it honey?”

“What was it? About wanting to know if I’ll bite you. Or touch you? Maybe…” He snapped his head up, looking you straight in the eyes, like he was looking directly into your soul. Your heart was racing and you knew he could hear it. He could hear everything, from your jagged breath, shacking limbs and your sinful thoughts that you were so desperately trying to shoo away. “You wanna know how good I could fuck you? Hmm, who knew our sweet little rabbit was so naughty.”

“T-that’s not true.” You knew lying was not the best thing to do considering he can literally read your fucking mind. But you had no idea what else to say. He just chuckled, clicking his tongue lightly before closing the gap between you, making your bodies flush against one another. His nose rubbed along your neck inhaling generously. You smelt amazing to him. Like lilacs and summer rain showers. Or how a forest smells fresh and light in the early hours of dawn. He could just have you in his arms, inhaling your scent for hours and would never grow tired. He wouldn’t admit it, nor would he linger too deep in your mind either for the same reason. That he was definitely falling in love with you. Unlike his friends, he was a romantic. A dirty, filthy, romantic. And he wanted to do everything and anything to you, for you, with you. Anything for you to call him, yours.

“Such a sweet little white rabbit. So kind, even though the world has been nothing but hardship for you.” His words made a lump form in your throat, not thinking if this vampire could indeed read minds, he was not only able to see your dirty fantasies but your dark past too. Your pain. The memories you wish more than anything to erase. You didn’t want to life you were given, always praying for a new start. Or a quick death. Whichever came first you didn’t mind. But maybe now you could have that new start. One filled with love, devotion, and gratitude. Like the relationships in the stories you’ve read. One were you could feel equal even though they were all beasts. They were more human than the humans you already knew. “Let’s get you back to bed hmm?”

Jongho’s words sounded more like a question but you knew he meant it in more of a statement. Wanting you to not grow tired from the crazy event you had only hours been through. “I don’t think I could sleep even if I tried.”

“Why?” He didn’t mean to bluntly ask but he was worried. Sure he could just read your mind and find out. But he wanted to hear the emotion behind the words. He needed you to say it aloud.

“Last night…” You took a breath, relaxing a little into Jongho’s hold, as he kept you firmly between the door and his body. “It was not the first time I’d seen blood. Or death. To be fair. For a moment. I thought I was going to die tonight. And I wasn’t afraid.” You hiccuped feeling a tear break from your left eye. “I wasn’t scared of death. In fact, I was ready to welcome it. And it made me realise how much I’ve lived in a loop of pain. Waiting for something to either kill me or help me.”

It was Jongho’s turn to take a deep breath, rubbing his thumb into your hip, trying to comfort you as you spoke. “I’m glad you all came to save me. Even though this might seem crazy. And I have only known you all for less than a day. I have felt more at home here than I have my entire life. So t-thank you.”

Jongho’s undead heart broke at your little sob. You were so young and yet you had been through so much. He knew then and there he was going to protect you, shield you. Even if it meant getting himself injured or killed. He dropped his hand from the wall so he could cup your face. Your glossy, watery eyes stared up at him with so much agony. He sighed. “I won’t let anyone hurt you again. Okay, Honey. You are safe with us. You might not understand this yet but we… We have cared about you for a while.”

He wasn’t about to pour out all the confessions of you being their mate. And how they are all mated to one another and you were their missing piece. That was for another day. For now. All you needed was reassurance. A kind hand to hold. a broad chest to hug. “Come on now. Let’s actually get you back to bed now.”

He walked you back to your room where a lightly snoring Seonghwa was. You thanked Jongho again and he said ‘There is no need to thank me’ but yet you still said it again. Gave you one last smile before kissing your forehead with such gentleness. Softness like nothing you’ve ever felt. He was gone before you could even whisper out a goodnight.

[neoyi]

Neo Yi's Super Fun Webcomic Reading List Time!

I wanna do it. I wanna be the guy! I wanna recommend and impart my personal views on the webcomics I've read over the better part of the year. I feel like I've read more online comics since 2023 then I had in over a decade. It is an excellent time to get into comics.

Not every webcomic on the list worked for me, but I'm not going to comment negativity on any of them because all of them deserve to be read and appreciated. No, what I am going to do, regardless of how I feel about ANY of these comics, is to state some things I liked about it. Hopefully something will catch your eyes.

Links to each webcomic will be provided, though Tumblr hates annnnnything with actual links, so I'm just going to copy and paste them in an attempt to reach a broader audience and get these out into the greater wild. It ain't much, but I hope it helps the creators making 'em.

All images I used for each comic are usually the first cover/first page. If the creators prefer I not do that or have another image they'd like me to use instead, please let me know.

I'm also hoping I can regularly update this as I continuously read more and more as I had to split the current list I had into two parts. So consider this Part 1.

No rank because this ain't a ranking list; we going alphabetical order.

1. A Dance With Death (http://overmorrowtales.com/death/cover.php)

Summary: It's the end of the world and Death is waiting for someone to dance with. Who could it be?

Hi, I went into this comic because the main cover had the Grim Reaper in a suit. I know what I'm about, son.

I left this short (really, it's only 34 pages, so you can finish it in about thirty minutes) with a mix of existential crisis and an odd sense of peace. I love seeing anthropomorphic personification of human ideas and the world around us. Just seeing the creator indulge in what they interpret the likes of the Four Horsemen, or Pain, or Fear, or etc etc was a visual treat to see.

Who Death dances with might feel obvious once you put the pieces together, but its the explanation behind why he chose them, especially in the face of an ongoing apocalypse, that both felt utterly clever in its interpretation and worthy of the wait.

2. All Known Alternatives (https://akacomic.com/)

SUMMARY: Akane must find the 42 keys spread across parallel worlds in order to get back home. Eri and Ben is spending summer vacation before university, but get caught in the conflict when one of the keys end up in their world.

All Known Alternatives is described as both fantasy and slice-of-life and it definitely feels like it. I'm a huge fan of collect-a-thon stories, a quest forever molded and shaped by the approx. one gazillion platformers that I've been playing since 1989.

The comic is still new, so for the most part, I've mostly been seeing the slice-of-life aspect of Eri (and a reluctant Ben) settling Akane in. While no doubt finding ALL 42 keys would been an ordeal task for any comic artist (indie or otherwise) to write and draw about (indeed, Akane has half the amount prior to the comic's start), I am curious to keep going to see if the main cast will get the reminding 20+ left, and presumably, enter other worlds (well, other then the ones we've seen so far.)

In-between chapters are, what I think are flashbacks, centered on a squad of military folks. Presumably this will be a "How-Did-They-Get-Here" kinda tale, possibly centered on Akane's origin, but it's too early to tell.

It's three chapters in, each roughly about 40+ pages plus intermission chapters (roughly anywhere from 6 - 10 pages), so it's got a decent-sized backlog to get into. I'll be keeping an eye on this one.

3. Augustine (https://comics.windywallflower.com/augustine)

SUMMARY: August and friends are constantly surviving in the region known as the Crater as they collect bounties, often with a huge heap of trouble they tend to leave in their wake. When they stumble upon an ancient artifact, they''ll be force to contest with other bounty hunters and Gods!

As of this post, I've only wrapped up Chapter 1. I think Chapter 2 had just started, so I haven't ventured further, so there's not a whole lot I can say about Augustine yet. However, the first issue is a good introduction to both the characters (lovable misfits who all Try Their Best) and the absolute chaotic tone of the whole comic.

Augustine wants you to be pumped. It's incredibly energetic and fun, helped by the largely orange background. And I'm not talking orange orange, I am talking bright, vibrant sugar-infested Tang orange. It really lends well to the vitality of this comic and it's really gorgeous when the creator mixes it with the other color they use a lot: deep blue.

I'm also just a casual fan of Greek mythology, so I'm excited for the possibility of backstories and/or meeting with Godly pantheons. This bitch loves Godly pantheons.

4. BACK (http://www.backcomic.com/)

(Note: I used the front cover of the first BACK physical comic because the first page is kinda just background.)

SUMMARY: Abigail wakes up from a coffin and is immediately told she is the key to ending the world. With no memory of who she is, Abigail just accepts and goes about her mission. Trailing along is a druid named Daniel, someone with enough morals hoping that maybe, Abigail, shouldn't really do the whole Ending the World thing.

BACK was still updating when I first read it (up to the Dead Man Arc, I believe) and at the time, I remember being restless for reasons I now can't comprehend. I read through the whole thing again and asked myself, "Why did I feel like it dragged? This is one of the breeziest comics I've ever read!"

Ya know what I also like besides collect-a-thons? Its cousin, the "Fight Every Major Boss to Get To The Final Boss and Save the World: plot. BACK comic is actually pretty straightforward, but it's brandished with KC Green's (well, and perhaps Anthony Clark's: as of this post, I have not read Nedroid, but I've been recommended to it by a mutual) trademark sense of humor, so there's plenty of lingering weirdness and cartoonish, over-the-top characters. It's the kind of comic where the silliness never leaves, often used as much for laughs as it does for brevity whenever it gets serious. I kinda thing it'd work as a Cartoon Network program, honestly. It kind of dips a fine line between being all-age or something Adult Swim would play.

By the time I finished, I was left immensely satisfied. It's about 800 pages, but reading BACK felt effortless. Maybe I would have felt differently if I had been keeping up with it per update when it was still going, but diving into it as a whole? It works. Each chapter, character introduction, and action scenes never overstay their welcome.

I'm pretty invested in the idea of getting physical copies of these books soon, BACK is just that dang good.

5. Come Hell or High Water (https://www.chohwcomic.com/)

SUMMARY: Prince Gladimir did not want to fall in love with a pirate, but he's thrown into his world of sea-farers and ne'ers do-wellers if it means saving his kingdom.

Can I just say I love the title of this comic? Come Hell or High Water is probably one of the badassest of all catchphrases and the creator just chose to use it as their title and it rules.

Everything about this premise rocks my world: elegant princely figure falling for his dashing, roguish pirate guy, fictional kingdoms and the political intrigues and conflict that arises within, high-faring sea ventures, and etc etc. This comic, by all means, is my jam.

Soooooooo, I actually kind of fell out of this comic early into its run. Something about it wasn't clicking for me, personally, but with thirteen chapters under its belt and me, having only gotten up to, roughly, the third chapter, I want to give this one another go later down the line. There is no way I can't leave this comic left unread when EVERYTHING about it fits my particular mold so well. I'm not sure what didn't stick with me, but it certainly is not the sexual tension between the main characters which, god, Chapter One starts off with Gladinmir breaking up with his hot pirate boyfriend and if that isn't a good conflict for the two of them to work out their issues, then I don't know what is.

6. Dead City (https://topazcomics.com/deadcity/welcome/)

(NOTE: The cover is from the physical copy of Dead City. I screencapped this from their official store, hence why the link is watermarked on it. But hey, now you can go and buy it. It's good! Read it!)

SUMMARY: Two guys survive a zombie apocalypse, learn a little about each other, and maybe, just maybe, fall in love. ;O

If it wasn't for a couple of blogs I follow vouching for this comic, I might not have read Dead City. Me and zombie stuff are not syncopatico. Dead City is not about that. The zombie stuff is just background for what it's really about: a slice-of-life and cozy (yes, really!) story of two guys just trying to make through a dying world one day at a time. Throughout the comic, they learn to lean on each other, learn who they are, and get into internal conflicts fighting off their demons.

It's short (roughly 190+ pages), it's sweet, and it genuinely left me feeling like things will be alright in spite of a burning world.

7. Doris Doodle (https://www.dorisdoodle.com/)

SUMMARY: Doris Doodle is an old-timey cartoon struggling to find acting jobs in a media field where she's considered a thing of the past. However, when she is caught on camera for an act of goodwill that launches her into viral popularity, a new door opens up for her, but not without drawbacks.

I think Doris Doodle ended up being one of my new favorites. I'm fond of the Roger Rabbit-ish world of toons living in a human environment, breathed to life by animators, and going about their daily lives in-between gigs as actors. Indeed, you see a lot of crossovers from numerous famous cartoon stars (Betty Boop being a prominent one), which leaves me curious on how much workload the creator has to do with their current goal to make a non-copyright-infringement, physical version of this. It'll be interesting to see.

In any case, Doris Doodle left me emotionally yearning for a happy ending for the main character. We see how the media world chews and spit her out even decades later, and how, once a wide-eyed actress who wanted to be seen, can turn so cynical and bitter at what she was denied, through acts often not of her own faults.

The comic explores the usual horridness of Hollywood shallowness and sexist bullshit, but it also explains what its like to be an old toon out-of-touch of an ever increasing modern world. I love the latter a bit more since it's uniquely set for fictional pen-and-paper denizens; seeing how Toons exist, how restricted their livelihood is no matter what decade you were born, and the methods they go through to survive is fascinatingly good worldbuilding.

8. Earth In a Pocket (http://earthinapocket.spiderforest.com/)

SUMMARY: Anthropologist Halisi Mwangi wants to bring Earth's past to numerous human space colonies. Grabbing precious artifacts that has dotted human history, she blasts off to achieve her goals. Unfortunately, an accident causes her to be stranded on an unknown planet, with only its residences left to keep her company.

I think about the future of our planet a lot, and I'm often terrified of what will happen. I've found myself increasingly annoyed at End of the World stories heavily laden with cynical, edgy bents. I'm not saying these can't have commentary, but geez louise, one can only deal with another "Humans Suck and Can't Be Trusted In the Face of Despair" narrative without withering into a fetal position. Like, man, I get it, but also, come on.

Futurama has always been kind of a comfort show for me. There's something reassuring to see a fictional depiction of Earth a thousand years later, still thriving. Their problems aren't any more or less better or worse than ours, but they're living and doing things and it's just kinda nice.

Earth in a Pocket does something similar: it's a futuristic world where science benefited mankind. There are space colonies now and safe travels in-between, with no sign of the Earth itself in any danger. The main characters is utterly positive and obsessively in love with what humanity has accomplished. She praises the capabilities of what we have done and can do; it's this thinking that not only motivates her to survive, but educate the little adorable jellyfish aliens, all of whom are curious to learn about this strange, bipedal creature.

This is another short comic, so it'll take maybe an hour to finish. I urge you, if you ever feel sad about the current state of the world, give Earth in a Pocket a try. It's compassionate to mankind's achievements, endlessly encourages learning through curiosity and mutual respect for each other's cultures, and reminds us the good we can do. It's just feels good.

9. Fairmeadow (https://www.fairmeadowcomic.com/)

SUMMARY: Goma, a warrior orc, lost and broken, ends up in Fairmeadow, a small community of pacifists lead by Sanctuary. There, Goma is accepted as long as she abides by their peacekeeping rules, which she increasingly challenges every step of the way.

I was initially hesitant to approach this comic because of its tabletop RPG influence, something I am vastly unfamiliar with. I wondered if there would have been terminology I wouldn't get, but I strode on because the premise sounded interesting.

And it was totally worth it. I didn't need to know a goddamn thing about Dungeons n' Dragons or whatnot to enjoy the heck out of this comic. It is exactly what the summary say it is: hardened warrior who has Seen War clashes with a bunch of idealists who refuses to engage. It is damn good showing the flaws behind what an isolationist, hippie-like community is when they refuse to engage in politic strife that, though they refuse to admit, does reflect the world they live in. Goma doesn't instantly endear, both in-universe and out, but the further you read, the more you understand and even side with her frustrations on these crop-hoarding loners who seem content in their impossibly fantasy world. And I love that both sides represent their positions as justified. It's a constant battle and I am eager to find out how these characters will engage with each other, and especially, how it'll end. Fairmeadow feels like the kind of comic where we won't get an easy answer by the time it wraps up.

10. The Glass Scientists (https://www.theglassscientists.com/)

SUMMARY: In a city increasingly hostile to mad scientists everywhere, a one Dr. Jekyll took it upon himself to create an academy to encourage and prep those scientists to fit into good society. Course, things get complicated when Jekyll's other side, the impish Mr. Hyde, constantly takes over to rein a little chaos.

Okay, so, I do enjoy The Glass Scientists. The comic seem to be reaching its end point, so shit is hitting the fan, and I am glued. But I think I'm drawn more to the aesthetic of the comic than anything. Like Victorian-era mad scientists aren't my particular bread and butter, but everything about the Victorian-era fashion is, so Dr. Jekyll in a top hat as the first thing I saw was going to draw me in no matter what.

The second thing that dragged me in was the HOLY SHIT THE ARTWORK IS FREAKIN' AMAZING WHAT THE FUCK THESE LOOK LIKE ONE OF THOSE COMICS WHERE THEY SCREENCAP CARTOONS. I found out the creator works for animation professionally, so that explains a lot. This is a maddeningly great looking comic, with some incredibly good lighting haunting the streets of London.

Things really get interesting a few chapters in when Dr. Frankenstein appears and I feel that's when the comic really takes off. Like, if 19th century English literature and mad scientist gremlins are your thing, definitely give this a read. If anything, maybe you, too, will weep in tears at how gorgeous the comic looks.

11. Goth Western (https://www.gothwestern.com/)

SUMMARY: With an act of necromancy, Jack brings her lover, Evelyn, back to life, at the cost of working for the God she gave her soul to. Now she must hunt down a man in order for the two of them to have their happy ending.

Damn. "Goth Western." That's a title that goes hard. Another short comic that can be read in one fell swoop, Goth Western is pretty much what it is: a dark fantasy ol' west story between two women who would go to the ends of the Earth for each other. It's got all the hallmarks of the western genre: gun fights, bounty hunters, deserts and saloons, etc. I'm not particularly ride or die for Westerns, but it's there for those who are.

What I did love is the sheer optimism behind the grit. I like that Jack and Evie are genuinely decent people who just so happens to have no conniption committing some immoral acts or a crime or two if it means ensuring their own future. And they go through some shit. And you root for them regardless because they love each other and deserve to be together, and in spite of its harsh background, they will find it.

Honestly, with the length of the book, Goth Western feels like it could be an amazing and fun film.

12. Hans Vogel Is Dead (https://www.hansvogelisdead.com/)

SUMMARY: Ace pilot Hans Vogel dies in the Battle of Britain, wherein he ends up in a stagnating fairy tale world. Along with a girl cursed in a fox's body, Hans traverse the land as he strives to be a better person and unlearn the rampant fascism that has encapsulated his entire life.

I can only reason reading the summary above is enough for people to put two-and-two together that this takes place in 1940s World War II. And it's even more obvious what Party Hans is involved in, so if that kind of background is not to your liking, I don't recommend it.

If it's any worth, the majority of the story takes place in said fictional fairy tale world, using it as a thematic drive to explore Hans' background to have him realize, pretty early, in fact, that his entire fascist view is wrong. It's clearly a lovingly-crafted story, the creator constantly peppers each page notes with trivia and facts about the time period (her bio states she's a historian.)

I've gone in and out with the comic (one of those "I'll check back when it updates a few page" sorta thing), but I appreciate the chutzpah of the creator to make its lead character a literal Nazi and going out of her way to explore what it is like to have lived in that specific time period with a society and culture that devalued so many people. How will Hans get out of this kind of thinking and be a better person? Are his actions forgivable? I kind of feel questions like these are somewhat balanced by Hans himself, who, rather than portrayed as some arrogant jackass, is instead rather timid and unsure of himself.

Hans Vogel Is Dead feels very much like a "We will be doomed to repeat history unless we learn it" kind of comic, which, shit, given the politic course my country is going through, having a comic like this educating on why being a dangerous bigot is an awful thing, feels appropriately well-timed.

13. Harpy Gee (https://www.harpygee.com/)

SUMMARY: A young, magic-less elf enters the town of Podunk. There she has fantastical adventures with her new friends.

I know the summary's lacking, but 1.) I imagine most people already know about Harpy Gee or its artist. I've followed her stuff before she launched this comic because of wowie-zowie I would kill to use copic markers the way she does let me learn your ways coloring skills and 2.) That's kinda what Harpy Gee is.

For sure there are scenes, foreshadowing, and characters that launch off future plot points, but otherwise, Harpy Gee is like watching a family-friend cartoon. It's got the bright colors, often has cheesy little dialogues, magic and monsters, and every other little dangerous, but manageable adventures the main characters get into. It's a nice comic to read when you want to unwind, and I really dig how earnest it is with its kid-friendly appeal. There's not a drop of cynicism or edge to it; the optimism and sense of fun is what gives Harpy Gee so much of its charm.

The creator has since graduated to digital coloring (though she still inks her comics the ol' fashion way), but I really recommend checking out the early pages to see how she works her magic with markers. Like, I'm biased, my stuff is traditional artwork, so I'm endlessly fascinated when I DO see another webcomic in the wild doing the same, but her stuff is eye candy. Like *chef's kiss.*

14. Hoppscotch (https://z-t00n.tumblr.com/tagged/hoppscotch)

SUMMARY: Bunch of animal people get into wacky shenanigans and boy, that is an understatement.

So, as far as I'm concerned, this comic is only hosted on the creator's tumblr page. It also doesn't have a cover and I wasn't very comfortable even posting a full page because of where its hosted, so I just took a small screencap of a couple of panels from a newer page to give an indicator of the kind of humor you are in for when reading Hoppscotch. (Though let me know if you'd rather this pic be removed.)

In any case, this comic wondered into my radar when a person I follow reblogged the one Hoppscotch comic with the exploding school bus. I remember scrolling down thinking it couldn't possibly get any more bizarre, but it kept elevating itself until I was left in awe at how GOOD with spontaneity it is. This is a comic that sets you up to think it'll go the expected route, but will often always, always go in a completely unpredictable, unhinged ending, and it gets me every. single. time. I haven't laughed so hard in a comic in a while. I was floored by its mastery of deranged comedy and I am genuinely looking forward to more.

A lot of this is really helped by the appealing artwork. Furries aren't in my radar, but I love the character designs. They're colorful, adorable, and really streamlined. Like this kinda has a mid-to-late 2000s Nicktoons/CN sorta vibe.

15. Kidd Commander (https://kiddcommander.com/)

SUMMARY: Phineas Kidd vows to gather a crew so she can fly off to Kairos Crossing to accomplish her goal: to catch the Sun.

Kidd Commander immediately drew me in the moment I read "to catch the sun" in the comic's "About" page. Maybe it's my love for cosmic eldritch horrors. Maybe it's that one Specter Knight fancomic I'll never get to making where I have him literally cut the sun (long story), but whatever it is, I bookmarked the webcomic to read it when I had time because I had to know what the hell I was getting into.

And then I read it (as of this writing, I wrapped up the Mile High Engage arc and stopped shortly after I started the A Wretched Analog arc) and I sat there with my hand over my head, wondering, "What the heck did I just read?"

I mean that in the best way.

Kidd Commander is a dense webcomic. It pounds you deep into its constructed world, with terms that I admit, I'm still trying to make sense of. Mind you, the comic explains what I need to know. What is it about Kidd Commander is that it goes with the assumption that you, the reader, is not a moron. It won't hold your hand; it expects you to keep up with the characters' nuances, the nature of its world and how it exists, and every other little intricate of foreshadowing waiting to be unraveled. The creator has a degree in English literature and it shows, in that while this can be a wordy comic, it's less about how much is squeezed in a word balloon (of which Kidd Commander does fine), but the way it is written. If it isn't casual dialogue, then it gets evocative, especially when it gets serious and/or bigger plot stuff unravel.

After I finished the first arc (which was a sizable 440 pages), I had to take a breather. It can be overwhelming, but it's also a comic that is clearly driven both by passion and anger. It feels like the comic equ. of wanting to punch all the bastards that has ever wronged you. It wants to internally liberate itself as much as it hopes for you. Its constructed world genuinely feels like the creator's own, all the while drawing in the best of shonen comics (bonus points for the aesthetic airship. This bitch loves airships.)

I plan to read further into the comic, but I wanted to make sense of the world it has laid out first. And I found out that sometimes the best way for me to read a piece of fiction and really get to the meat is not through digital format, but physically in my hands.

So I ended up buying the book to do exactly that:

I implore people to give Kidd Commander a shot. If you want something that feels so raw, built to give you a sense of catharsis to people of things with greater power that has wronged you, then this comic might as well be its spokesperson.

[hwasoup]

Tale As Old As Time

playlist

art credit: marbipa

hii guuyys its soup !! what a crazy week it has been. I have a class where my group is shit except for 3 ppl and i've been really excited for spring break. Talking about spring break, after this update I wont be updating until after my spring break, However that doesn't mean i might release little mini stories that take place during this chapter !! I will still be active, juuust not writing as much. spring break for me ends on March 17th so be on the lookout for an update during that week !!

for this chapter I took some actual lines and dialouge from a book and sonnet !!

prev | next

warnings: pure fluff if you're allergic to it and maybe a little smexy thoughts, and some evil planning

words: 3.3k

Chapter 5: A Second Chance

After arriving back at the castle…

Miguel is taken all the way to his room where he could rest and heal from his wounds. Y/N peeked inside his room worried but was shut out by Lyla who softly told her that Miguel is currently having his room cleaned up. Y/N nodded as she waited outside. 

After what seemed to be an hour, Y/N peeked back inside with a cloth and some hot water in a bucket. She noticed how his room is tidier and much cleaner from the original state from what it was. She thought that maybe, the Beast was too embarrassed for her to enter his room in such a grave state. Lyla hopped in the room besides Y/N and led him to the bed where Miguel was laying. Everyone was huddled by the bed with worried faces as they hoped for Miguel to feel better. Miguel on the other hand was still a bit grumpy and in pain as he was licking his own wounds. Y/N with a small sigh picked up a stool and sat right beside the bed and placed the rag into the hot water. She then picked it up and squeezed it to remove any excess water. “Here, and stop licking that you’ll only infect it further...” she says softly as she approaches him. Miguel looked at her and snarled a bit, Y/N sighed, and she grabbed his arm and placed the wet rag on the wound. Miguel roared loudly in pain and yelled at her “COÑO THAT HURTS” 

“Well if you didn’t move so much then It wouldn’t have hurt!” 

“WELL IF YOU DIDN’T RUN AWAY, THIS WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED”

“WELL IF YOU DIDN’T FRIGHTEN ME, I WOULDN’T HAVE RAN AWAY” 

Miguel opened his mouth but then stopped as she did have a point. “W-WELL, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE GONE TO THE WEST WING” he smirks to himself as he thinks that he got the final word. “WELL YOU SHOULD LEARN TO HOLD YOUR TEMPER!” Miguel’s smirk dropped from that statement; she also had a point too.

Miguel eventually gave up as he dropped his arm for her to treat him. He did have to admit, it felt nice being cared for by someone. He growled again as he felt the heat and sting from the wet rag go back on his arm. Y/N looked at him and softly said “sorry if it stings a bit…” Miguel simply had to hold in his growls as he felt the hot water from the rag permeate his wounds. Y/N eventually looked at him and whispered “by the way… gracias ..por salvar mi vida…” Miguel was surprised and even felt touched for her appreciation. He didn’t know what to call the emotion, but he liked it. He turned to look at her with kind eyes “you’re welcome...” 

After a while, Miguel fell asleep and Y/N slowly walked out of his room along with the others who were watching their interactions. Y/N turns around and crouches a little as she hears Miles say “Thank you…we’re grateful for you helping him..” 

Y/N sighs and asks “why do you all care for him so much ? He’s so…well you know

Peter was polishing Mayday a little and looked up at Y/N “well…it's because we all grew up with him, we basically looked after each other for his entire life” Y/N’s heart crumbled a little for them “But…he’s the reason why he basically cursed all of you, why stay with him?”

Jess waddled up to her and sighed “well…it's because we didn’t do anything when his mother died and when his own brother left him. It was just Me and Peter, the others eventually came in as their own parents couldn’t work in this castle anymore. You see when we knew him…he was this bright boy that thought he could do anything, but…in the end we’re still servants, we couldn’t even do anything when the King took him under his wing and molded him to be the person he is today…” 

In that moment Y/N understood everything now, she understood why these people were so loyal to him. She felt pretty bad and well ultimately decided that maybe she should give Miguel a second chance..

As the days went by, Y/N constantly went to see Miguel with medicine and more hot water to clean his wounds. Everyday she would hear stories from the staff of how Miguel was and their experiences with him, Heck even Hobie gave her a funny story. She felt motivated for a strange reason to help him and maybe even get to properly know him a bit better. Y/N eventually found out what the spell was about and she remembered asking Gwen what it meant if the last petal fell. In Gwen’s words she basically said “we become dead antique looking objects” Y/N also asked Peter when she found him on what it would take to break the spell, Miles was eager to tell her but Peter stopped him by simply saying “it's not something you should really worry about” Y/N thankfully took a hint and moved along with her day.

More days passed and Y/N started simply reading aloud to kill time 

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,” 

Miguel slowly stirred to Y/N’s voice and his eyes fluttered to hear her reciting a sonnet. His heart strangely softened at her voice, but he assumed it was because he appreciated her care for him during the past few days.He then heard the lines she spoke and immediately recognized it and finished the last few lines

 “And summer’s lease hath all too short a date;

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines”

Y/N stopped to look at him in awe “conoces a Shakespeare ??” she said in a slightly excited tone. Miguel moved from the left to right side of the bed to look at her, his heart slightly pounding at the sight of her “well..I had quite the expensive education” Y/N smiled at him “My favorite play is Romeo and Juliet” Miguel rolled his eyes and groaned “why am I not surprised” he said shaking his head in utter disappointment. “Como ?” Miguel chuckled and responded “All of that heartache pining, and romance, it's just-” Miguel makes a gagging noise to express how cringe he finds it. 

Y/N chuckled a little and smiled. “Well, Mr. Cringe, from this assessment I can concur that you’re feeling a bit better, If you’ll excuse me, I promised Mayday that we would build a snowman” Miguel nodded as he understood and watched her walk out of his room. He lay there in confusion and wondered if he was going mad…"diablo, que hermosa” he muttered as he covered his face with his arm.

__________________________________________

An hour later

Y/N was walking outside with the adorable teacup to build a snowman. She smiled each time that Mayday pointed out little items that could be used to build. The two happily built a snowman and stole a carrot from Felipe’s stables to place as the snowman’s nose. Too bad Felipe saw them and started playing with them as well and squished the snowman. However, at a balcony high up in the castle, Miguel was watching Y/N from a distance. He softly watched her and smiled each time she laughed or smiled. He looked down at his bandaged wound and sighed as he wondered what to do. He looked beside him as Peter was paying attention to his darling daughter, hoping she wouldn't get trampled by Felipe. “Hey Peter…uhh…what do you call it when you-” Miguel gulped a little “when you feel kind of fluttery when staring at someone” Peter turned to him and smirked “is this someone, a certain woman who’s frolicking in the snow” Miguel groaned at his teasing and sighed “coño vale ok, jeez…but uhh…what do I do for her…I mean..she’s done so much for me” Peter then thinks for a bit and then smiled when thinking of something “why don’t you show her the library, trust me she’ll like it.” Miguel nodded as he took his advice and decided to show Y/N the library. A bit later during the day Miguel found Y/N inside the castle playing chess with Miles and asked her to join him for a special occasion. Y/N agreed and followed him, but immediately was tied a ribbon on her eyes “It’s a surprise and I don’t want you peeking.” 

Y/N smiled and simply allowed Miguel to guide her into the greatest surprise of her life. She heard a door open and felt his large furry hands take her inside. She kept on walking until he brought her to a stop. "Can I take this ribbon off now?” Y/N asked. “Ya en un ratito” Miguel excitedly went to the windows and opened the curtains for light to come inside.  Y/N could see the light seep in through the ribbon, but she still couldn’t make out what she’s looking at. “Can I take the ribbon off now ??” Miguel smiled with his toothy grin and told her “Yes, you may take off the ribbon” Y/N untied the ribbon from the back of her head and then finally looked into the room she was actually in and her jaw dropped. There were books everywhere in this giant room. “Oh my..this library…it's so...Dios Mio, it's so grand, it's wonderful !!”

Miguel smiled at her reaction, it was definitely priceless and worth it to see her cheeks rise and to see her eyes ever so slightly crinkle at the ends of her face. “I suppose it is” he responded “well…then since you like it so much then it's yours to keep” Y/N excitedly looked at him and asked “ Have you read all of these books ?” Miguel chuckles and scoffs “Not all of them, some of them are in Latin”  Y/N laughs and smiles “was that a joke ? you like telling jokes now ?” Miguel turned around to a table, but then looked back at her and smiled “maybe”

—- —- —- —- —- —- —- —- —-

It has now been around 3 months since Y/N has stayed in the castle and ever since the two of them have slowly developed a bond. They became friends, but at the same time they really weren’t. The staff noticed it and were just simply happy to be working again. There were certain instances where Miguel was a bit gruff, awkward, or just had odd behaviors, but Y/N found solutions to each one. When eating soup at the dinner table, instead of using spoons they would sip the contents of the dish from the bowl itself. When eating meat, they would use their hands, and when reading books the two must sit together and share the book.

“Who knew that this would work ?” Jess whispered. Peter nodded and smiled “I'm surprised myself, it's quite encouraging to be honest”  Little Mayday who was with them looked up at her father “daddy ? what IS werking ?” Peter chuckled and looked at the little teacup “nothing to twist your little head around May, come on now we have things to do in the kitchen” Mayday nodded and hopped along with her father to the kitchen. Jess peering at the newly formed friendship smiled “don’t screw up Miguel”. She left the room to another part of the castle to attend her duties at. 

During this period of friendship, Miguel had started to wear clothes instead of the rags he wore, he wanted to look more presentable to Y/N. Luckily the seamstress was willing to sew new clothes for him in his furry stature. Y/N had invited him to walk outside to finish the book they were currently reading: The Count of Monte Cristo. He eventually met up with y/n as they took a stroll outside in the wintery snow. Y/N every once in a while, would peer up at him to spot any grimaces in his face, but was met instead with a calm look. As she read, she couldn’t help but peer at him one more time, her thoughts straying away to some impurities, her thoughts slipping as she imagined Miguel’s furry chest against her own body. She blushed at her own actions and disregarded it. She didn’t want to believe she just thought of something like that. The two finally walked by a bridge as she finally read the last sentences of the book “Gone,” murmured Valentine; “adieu, my sweet Haidee—adieu, my sister!”

“Who can say whether we shall ever see them again?” said Morrel with tearful eyes.

“Darling,” replied Valentine, “has not the count just told us that all human wisdom is summed up in two words?—’Wait and hope.’” 

Miguel smiled at her last words and looked at her “well that was quite the story” Y/N looked up and smiled at him. “I agree” Y/N put away the book in a bag and then smiled as she walked quickly towards Felipe, gently petting the horse and feeding him some apples that she had stored in her bag. She gestured for Miguel to come. He gulped as he looked at the horse, he didn’t want to frighten him with his beastly appearance, but the reassurance that y/n gave him was enough. He slowly approached Felipe and tried to put his hand on the horse, but Felipe nickered. The noise startled Miguel as he slightly flinched. Y/N chuckled a little and helped Miguel approach Felipe again, she wondered how he was just so sweet and kind despite his angry facade. When Miguel finally placed his hand against the horse his ears perked up and he looked up at Y/N with a toothy grin. She chuckled as she looked at him dearly, she enjoyed that his curiosity was emerging and his uncertainties as well. She handed him some bird feed and showed him how to feed birds in a quiet manner as well. Miguel looked at her as he was able to pet Felipe and successfully feed some birds. He thought how her glances were just so adorable, how she would always place a hand on him without any fear. He wanted to ignore all of these little things she did, but he simply couldn’t get over her. Her body was so petite against his, it just made his mind wander to farther places. However, his thoughts were interrupted when he realized he had birds perched all over his upper body and feeding the seeds from his hands. Y/N on the other hand was watching silently from behind a tree as she had to make terms with herself that she was finding Miguel’s true personality quite attractive. She always knew as a child that the man that she falls for would be for who he is, but she never expected this to be in THIS way. Y/N looked back quickly at Miguel and chuckled at all the birds on him, but her playfulness got to her as she started a snowball fight with him. The two in the snow played around, throwing snowballs at each other relentlessly, some bigger some smaller, and Miguel using his size as an advantage to make a giant snowball to throw at Y/N. 

After a long day of just playing in the snow, the two came inside to sit by the fire to start reading yet another book. Peeking outside the room where the fireplace was located. Miles, Gwen, Lyla, Peter, Mayday, and Jess were looking at the two of them. 

“Y’know…I think they like each other” “Y’know what miles, I think you’re right.”

“Shush you two do you want us to get caught.” Peter chuckled “alright Jess, just let them have their moment.” 

Mayday looked up confused and babbled “whaddaya mean they like each other” Peter laughs alongside with Lyla who tells her “We’ll tell you when you’re older.”

__________________________________________

However, in the village…

Ben was having a meeting with a man in the middle of the night in his cabin. Eddie was there as well but simply sighed as he knew that this plan was horrid

“Yo usualmente no salgo del Psiquiátrico en la madrugada, but I was told this is worth my time..”

Ben smiled wickedly and placed on the table a large bag of gold coins. The man looked at the money and smiled as he picked up a coin “i’m listening”

Ben smiled “so the plan is that I am dead set on marrying Y/N, but I’m starting to believe that she needs a bit of persuasion per say..” Eddie rolls his eyes and mutters “more like being flat out rejected”  Ben sneered at Eddie, and quickly used his look to silence him.

“Everyone knows that her father is a loon, he was in the tavern I believe 3-4 months ago raving over some beast in a castle?!” The man sighed “Mauricio is harmless though, he hasn’t done anything to harm the villagers to put him IN the asylum.”

Ben smacked the table “Listen, the point is that Y/N would do ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING to keep Mauricio out of the asylum” Eddie mumbled again “might marry him too” The man thinks “So you want me to throw her father into el psiquiátrico, a menos que ella se ponga de acuerdo de casarse contigo. Oh that is just despicable…” The man chuckled as he looked at the bag of money and he starts laughing menacingly “I LOVE IT”

__________________________________________

Back in the castle as the days slowly got warmer

Miguel was sitting down in his budding rose garden, the sights of spring finally peeking through the icy cold. He sat down and hummed as he enjoyed the book he was reading, flipping through the pages, enjoying each time the story escalated. Y/N sees him from a distance and approaches him at the rose garden. “What are you reading?” Miguel surprised closed his book as he cheekily responded “oh, nothing” Y/N smiled and chuckled as she sat beside him “Guinevere and Lancelot” Miguel corrected her “Actually, King Arthur and the Round Table, lots of blood, men, sword fighting and stuff.” Y/N hummed “It's still a romance” Miguel groans “Esta bien, you win” Y/n smiled and laughed a bit. Miguel smiled and looked at her with adoration in his eyes “I never thanked you, for not leaving me to be eaten by the wolves” Y/N laughed again. In the distance laughter was heard from the staff as they all chatted and teased little mayday. 

“Well, it seems that they know how to have a good time” Miguel rolls his eyes “and yet every time I walk in the room laughter just dies.” Y/N smiles at the similarity that they share and lays her head on Miguel’s shoulder, shocking the man to his core as his ears flattened in embarrassment. “I get it, the villagers would say I'm a funny girl” she moves her head away to look at him “I don’t think they meant it in a nice way” Miguel’s face drooped at her words “I'm sorry you had to experience that…Your village sounds horrid, terrible people there” Y/N chuckled as she agreed with him. Miguel looked into her eyes as he could see the sun glinting against the lovely shade that adorned her face. Without hesitating he didn’t realize what he said

“Estás haciendo que todo parezca tan bonito en mis ojos... crees que algún día podria bailar contigo?”

Y/N softly smiled as she took his hand and held his, feeling the warmth radiate from his palms.

“Of course, Miguel...”

taglist:

@cupcakeinat0r , @miguelhugger2099, @mcmiracles,@xxsugarbonesxx,@codenameredkrystalmatrix,@deputy-videogamer,@lxverrings,@miguelzslvtz,@itsameclinicaldepression,,@ricekrisbris,@loser-alert , @thedevax, @uncle-eggy, @m4dyy, @freehentai, @synamonthy, @razertail18, @s0lm1n,

@badbishsblog, @faimmm,@keendreamnight, @texanadmirer,@stargirrls, @itzsab,@delectableworm

[tiredsugarcube]

Death Note ft. Saiki!Reader

Chapter 1: 2 Gods, 1 murderer

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The bustling streets of the city of Kanto region is crowded on a busy day when everyone is going to their day jobs and students going to school, though it seems like a typical day in everyday life, a person walking to school seems to stand out among the rest, much to their dismay.-

‘My name is (Y/N) Saiki and I have psychic superpowers, though i generally don't seem like it. I have every power imaginable from telepathy, psychokinesis, apport, shrinking, hydrokenises, hypnosis, etc, but the situation that's happening before me is one that hassles me big time.’

‘My father recently had a new job offer which isn’t uncommon because with even I can’t keep up with the different jobs he has every month. My old school had many weird people that always seemed to annoy me, I can’t even comprehend how loud they were when our homeroom teacher announced my indefinite transfer, but before we left, they insisted we kept contact, well as long as I don’t have to see them every day I don’t mind at all.’

‘Here I am walking to school in a new city, But I already know the location like the back of my hand, If I could I would have just teleported to one of the school’s bathrooms but I still have to change my shoes in the lockers by the entrance and wanted to get a little walk to get my mind out of things so I decided on walking to school.’

 A typical high school, a large building with friendly faces and people last minute cramming for potential exams, the sound of steps in hard concrete on the way to the main facility is louder the more closer the psychic was to  the school. No one knows who they were and that was an advantage in itself, no one that sees them as unconventional, no one to bother them, and a chance to finally reach the dream of living a normal life, even though the psychic’s powers are very far from normal, they try hard to make their lifestyle opposite to it.

It was calming, mundane to panicked thoughts everywhere around him yet moments like this, moments where all is well, the weather is moderate and no one was to bother the new student. Normal, that’s what it felt, and it was the best feeling ever!-

“!!.......”

 Contradictions are inevitable but this is too far, right when the psychic was about to enter the school, they lock eyes with a certain Shinigami which seemed to be tailing behind a brown-haired student.

"Oh! You can see me kid..?"

'Good Grief, this is even worse than last time..' The psychic glared and looked away in annoyance, continuing to walk in the entrance, not letting any other animal, human or not, ruin their day.

However the question from the loud Shinigami did not go unnoticed by his student companion. Looking confused and frightened at the same time with the possibility that someone else other than him  could see Ryuk. Yet, he was too clouded in his own thoughts too see who the Shinigami was talking about.

“I thought we already established that I could see you, was another student able to see you? Who?” The student whispered sharply, yet the Death God laughed loudly and replied.

“It seems you haven’t seen them at school recently, but I do know that they can do unpredictable things, This might be even better than I thought..” The Shinigami laughed excitedly.

“Unpredictable things? What do you mean? You better tell me later..” The student replied

“Depends on how many apples your willing to offer.”

Settled into my new class easily, got through the usual introductions and was able to catch up to their current lessons. It would be way easier though if it weren’t for the floating creature by me constantly striking a conversation, the creature should be glad I was bored.

“What do you want."

“Ah! So you can see me, I think you already know who I am! I think its cool how you can hold a conversation without opening your mouth, you really are interesting!”

“The Gods don’t favor me, you a Shinigami are living or dying proof of that. You haven’t answered my initial question yet.”

“(Y/N) Saiki Huh?, The name’s Ryuk. I’m a companion to one of the students here. I’m sure you already know who” The psychic nods and replied, reading Ryuk’s mind who was already saying the student’s name in his mind.

“Light Yagami..? His popularity meter is close to 100 and his thoughts are loud and fast that it outweighs every other student I’ve heard in the school, does having a high popularity number attract death Gods too.?”

“Don’t make it seem like I’m a fan! It’s that he has something that requires me to tail him around, and that something also makes normal humans able to see me, yet you are able to do it with no effort whatsoever and even talk with your mind, interesting! Do you have any other abilities?”

“Aren’t you supposed to know already?”

“I wanna see for myself, and as for that ‘something’ I’m referring to, I think it won’t be long until you find out” Ryuk laughs

“I’m not some form of performer that presents my unfortunate traits for attention. And whatever vague term you’re talking about; I don’t want to know unfortunately. Are you saying I have more relations to Light Yagami?”

“I think it’s bound to happen, your abilities can really bring out the unimaginable events!”

The psychic sighs once more and stops entertaining Ryuk and focusing more on the classes at hand, the said Shinigami has irritated the poor student to no end, even Light Yagami is wondering where he could be, getting used to the silence in the classroom without the Death God hovering over him during class hours.

'The bell has rung and the sun has started to set, I have to go home and do this school work. Good Grief, I thought being new would give me some upperhand in assignments since I'm a newcomer, but oh well , I'll just use cartography to get it done in a few seconds. But before I go home, I'll stop by a cafe first to get some desserts.'

The deserts displayed in the glass panel was to die for, from the soft 2 layered mini cakes topped with fresh looking strawberries and light powdered sugar on top to shiny chocolate glazed donuts, each confection was delectable to look let alone taste, but there was one dessert that shined among the rest, coffee jelly, the bitter yet bouncy mass with some soft whipped cream on top makes the dessert a top favorite for the certain psychic.

As the line to the cafe gets shorter and the psychic gets closer to the desserts, they can feel eyes boring to the back of their head, the soft and light atmosphere had dampened a bit, not to mention the certain person's thoughts are just as loud as the guy with a Death God pet.

Psychic turns around lightly and sees a man slightly taller than her, hair in disarray but who were they to judge? If eyes were the window to the heart, then this guy would have the key to everyone's with the intensity of eye contact. The psychic looks away immediately as its their turn in their line to buy desserts.

Not noticing the person behind them smiled lightly, a creeping feeling getting to them, even in just one glance there was something different about them, a normal student, too normal to the point they aren’t.

“Hmm.. I might keep them in mind in case..”

‘Please don’t.’

The psychic sighs and walk to their new home with their desserts on hand. ‘The people I meet weirder than I thought, but no matter, It's the end of the day. I won't be associated with them anymore..’.The psychic about to open the gate to their new household only to be cut off with another voice.

"Hello! Good evening, you're the new student announced today right? It seems we're neighbors now!" the brown-haired boy says kindly, using his charms but the psychic can tell he has other intentions, both ignoring the Ryuk flying in between them.

'You've got to be kidding me..'

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓲 𝓷𝓸𝓵𝓾𝓶𝓾𝓼 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓲

"we who are about to die don't want to."

ᵂᵒʳᵈ ᶜᵒᵘⁿᵗ: ¹⁴¹⁸ ʷᵒʳᵈˢ

³ ᶜʰᵃʳᵃᶜᵗᵉʳˢ ᶠᵉᵃᵗᵘʳᵉᵈ 

ᴹᶜ ʸᵃᵖˢ ᵗᵒᵒ ᵐᵘᶜʰ ᵇᵘᵗ ᴵ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ⁱᵗ

ᵃˡˢᵒ ᵖᵒˢᵗᵉᵈ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᵒⁿ ᵂᵃᵗᵗᵖᵃᵈ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵒᵒᵏ ⁿᵃᵐᵉ ᵇᵉⁱⁿᵍ ᵗⁱᵗˡᵉᵈ "ᴳᵒᵃˡ ᵗᵒ ᴺᵒʳᵐᵃˡᶜʸ", ⁱᵗ ᵐⁱᵍʰᵗ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵃ ᵈⁱᶠᶠᵉʳᵉⁿᵗ ᵉⁿᵈⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰ.

ᵀᵃᵍ: fallenangel989899, yune1337

[a-killer-obsession]

Whoops, you got hit by a bus, and now you're in the world of One Piece. But not everything is quite as you remember it...

General Tags: afab reader, she/her reader pronouns, isekai, monsterfucker reader, vampire!kid, werewolf!killer, wyrm!heat, minotaur!wire, everyone has a human form, smut heavy, unhealthy relationships, dubious consent, serious violence, spoilers for Wano arc, starts pre-timeskip. There will be a lot of more intense kinks, please check AO3 for all current tags.

Chapter 4 - Toy Mouse

Heat is being greedy, so Kid puts him in his place.

WC: 3.6k

Masterlist | AO3 | Chapter 1

At first things seemed fine and normal with Heat. He was clingy, definitely, but at first you just chalked it up to him being a little touch starved. It wasn't until he refused to leave when you needed to use the bathroom that you realised something might be off, not even turning away to give you privacy. It was difficult to do your business like that, but something about the dark look in his eyes when he watched you made you aroused and more willing to do what he wanted. He kept you by his side 24/7, with no chance of going off on your own even at night, when he kept his tail coiled around you like a boa constrictor with its prey. He never hurt you, but the lack of privacy was starting to get grading, not to mention your cunt hurt from how many times he'd mounted you. Sometimes you woke up with him already inside you, which you didn't mind so much, except for the fact you were exhausted and he was interrupting your sleep constantly. If you tried to scold him, he'd just give you sad little puppy eyes, and you couldn't help but give in. By day three it seemed like all you did was eat, sleep and fuck. He barely left the bed or let you leave, instead having someone bring meals to the bedroom so he could keep you to himself, and you were beginning to feel like you had no agency in your own life at all. As much as you enjoyed being used like a personal fleshlight, some fresh air would've been nice.

On day four of Heat keeping you captive, the others decided they'd had enough. Heat was slacking off on his chores to play with you, and Kid was sick of his insubordination. He had warned Heat right from the start what would happen if he acted too possessive, knowing full well it was in the wyrm's nature to act like this, and with Sabaody on the horizon he decided to do something about it. Both you and Heat were summoned to Kid's room, where he had his own private dining room he sometimes used for meetings.

As it turned out, the stairs in the stern castle led to the captain's quarters, in other words: Kid's floor. Only the commanders and whoever was responsible for cleaning his chambers were allowed up those stairs unless invited, so you felt highly intimated as Heat led you up. At the top of the stairs was a short hall with two doors, the first of which, Heat explained, went to Kid's workshop, and the other to his living quarters.

The main part of Kid's quarters was made up of two rooms, separated by a large archway. The first chamber held the dining room and bar, a similar setup to the commander's table on the stage downstairs in the galley, while the second chamber held his bedroom. Another door led through from the bedroom, you would learn later that these led through to a walk-in closet, and beyond it a bathroom which also connected to the workshop, making one large loop that took up the entire expanse of this floor.

Kid's main chambers were decorated as you had expected in reds and blacks, with deep scarlet wallpapers decorated with an embossed baroque pattern that was glossier than the base, but the same colour, giving a subtle texture to the walls where the light caught it. The lower third of the walls were shiplapped with a deep ebony wood, almost black, the doors, framing and much of the furniture being made of a matching wood. The floors were a slightly brighter wood, with large black and red ornate rugs with purple accents laid out under the dining set and bed. The bed itself was a gothic styled canopy bed, with an ornate headboard and deep red sheets, set with red velvet blankets and a red fur much like his coat draped over the end. At the end of the bed was a long purple ottoman, and the room also held several dressers that matched the bed; side tables, a purple velvet loveseat and matching armchair, a small glass topped coffee table in front of the sofa, and wrought-iron faux candelabra lighting fixtures scattered around the walls of each chamber. Each chamber also had a grand matching chandelier in the centre of the room, both sections lit in warm orange light. The dining section also held two china cabinets with glass panelled doors, one one either side of the room. The first held a multitude of expensive looking liquors and crystal glasses to enjoy them with, while the other seemed like a collection of antique weapons, a variety of well kept guns and knives of all kinds.

Kid, Killer and Wire already sat at the dining table as you and Heat entered, Kid in a throne-like seat at the end of the table that was taller and more ornate than the other chairs. Heat pulled you into his lap as he sat, wrapping his arms around you protectively. The others rolled their eyes at the overly possessive action.

“Come now,” Kid tutted, “come warm my lap instead, mouse.” He pushed his seat a little away from the table, patting his knee to invite you over. You made to move to him, wanting to be obedient, but Heat made a growl behind you and held you tighter. “Heat, what did I say? Do I need to take your toy away from you permanently? Prove to me this wasn't a mistake to let you take responsibility of her”

Heat grumbled but let you go, knowing that if he didn't give in then Kid would have to send you back down to the brig, and he didn't want to give up having you warm his bed. You spared Heat an apologetic look as you walked to the head of the table, and Kid quickly pulled you into his wide lap, the large, jewel encrusted belt buckle he wore digging into you as you tried to get comfortable. His hand rested on your inner thigh as he held you still, the other against your waist to pin your back to his chest. You could feel the vibrations in his chest from his deep voice whenever he spoke, while Heat watched on with a deep, unhappy scowl on his face. Kid's hand was so high on your thigh that he could swipe his thumb over your slit, making you bite your lip and squirm as he put pressure against your clothed cunt.

“Wipe that fucking look from your face, snake, she offered herself to everyone, quit being selfish,” Kid barked at him.

“Don't call him a snake,” you said quietly, a slight quiver to your voice, “that's not nice. He's a dragon, not a snake”

“Damn, you showed her your full form already?” Kid laughed, “no wonder she fuckin’ stinks of you. I'll just have to put my own scent on her,” he jeered, running his sharp canines over the pulse point of your neck, making you shiver. Heat made a growl, black smoke leaking from his mouth, and Kid openly laughed at him, running his hand further up your thigh to cup your cunt while his other hand grabbed a tit, making you let out a surprised squeak. “Sounds like I'm gonna have to put your boyfriend in his place, mouse. Be a doll and bend over the table for me.”

You moved to do as he asked, apparently not moving fast enough for his liking as he suddenly manhandled you, pushing your front down against the table and yanking down your borrowed sweatpants and oversized briefs. You couldn't help but let out a whine as he ran two fingers between your folds before bullying them inside you, finding you already wet from just his earlier teasing. “Little mouse is already soaked, you want this don't you, whore? Want me to use your greedy cunt? It's sucking my fingers in.”

“Y-yes captain,” you whined, blushing heavily and trying to ignore the other three men in the room who were watching you discerningly, most of all Heat who was growing angry as Kid played with his toy. There was wet squelching and the metallic jingling of gold bracelets as Kid finger fucked you, showing no mercy as he scissored his fingers to stretch you out as quickly as possible, adding a third thick finger and curling them down to press against your g-spot. “Ahh- hnng- Kid-” you moaned, writhing against the table, one of his hands still pressed to your back to keep you from getting up. He forcibly ripped an orgasm from you, not letting up even a little as he felt you clamp down around his fingers, and you heard the soft pattering of fluid hitting the rug as he made you squirt.

“Fuck, now there's a good whore,” Kid praised, pulling his fingers from you and licking them clean, savouring your sweet taste. If he had more time he'd eat you out, but this wasn't about making you feel good, this was about putting Heat in his place. “You didn't say she was a squirter, Heat. Sweet little mouse, making a mess on my rug. I'm gonna make a fucking mess of that pussy. See who you dream of then.”

You heard the unbuckling of his belt behind you, his blue sash thrown to the floor beside you as he yanked down his pants. You turned enough to see his erection, gasping at how impossibly thick he was, somehow even thicker than the base of Heat's dragon form cocks, though not as long. The man was built like a fucking soup can. Kid gave Heat a shit eating grin as he pushed your head to face forward again, lining himself up and pushing his cock into you far too fast, knocking the air from your lungs and making you sting from the stretch. If it wasn't for how regularly Heat had been mounting you, the stretch would have no doubt made you scream in pain, but thankfully Heat had been giving you no time for your cunt to recover fully.

“Fuck, so tight,” Kid growled, grabbing your hips hard enough to bruise and immediately starting a brutal pace, his heavy balls slapping against your thighs with every snap of his hips. He couldn't care less if you came again, his only goal was to cover you in cum so Heat would smell him on you for days and remember you didn't belong to only him. He was enjoying your tight cunt though nonetheless, seriously considering keeping you around for a while just to fuck even if you turned out to be full of shit.

You squirmed and moaned at Kid's rough treatment, moving too much for his liking. He made a frustrated growl and lifted a leg to the table, pressing his boot against your head, threatening to crush it. “Stop fucking squirming bitch,” he barked, “take what I fucking give you.”

You could smell the dirt and dried sea salt on the sole of his boot, as well as the polish he used to shine the leather (or more likely, that another crewmate used). You couldn't help the string of moans that left you at the degrading treatment, your nails digging into the wooden table top as your clothed tits slid back and forth against it. You made the mistake of looking ahead, making eye contact with Wire, who looked highly amused, his eyes dark and hungry as he twirled his trident on its base. You whined at his expression, he was watching you like you were nothing more than a plaything, practically seeing the cogs in his head turning as he considered all the things he would do to you when he got his turn. Killer's face was of course unreadable, but he watched you with crossed arms, sitting in a relaxed looking slouch with his mask pointed right at you. You expected Heat to look upset, but instead his eyes were wide and blown out with lust, finding surprisingly that he actually enjoyed watching Kid fuck you. He could get used to this, he thought. Possessiveness still prickled in the back of his mind, already planning on coating you in cum the second he got a chance, maybe he'd even piss on you for good measure, but for now he was enjoying watching Kid use you, and seeing the way your eyes rolled back at his merciless pounding.

“Oi, you two,” Kid pointed at Killer and Wire, “jerk yourselves off, we're gonna paint this bitch with our cum so Heat knows to share in future.”

The two of them didn't hesitate for a moment, already rock hard from watching as they each unfastened their pants and pulled out their cocks. You couldn't see how big they were from this angle, but just knowing they were fucking themselves while they watched you was enough to make your legs shake, clamping down hard around Kid's cock and near screaming as you came. “Oh you like that huh? You like seeing them jerk off while they watch me fuck you?” Kid laughed, “you were born to be a whore. That's the real reason you ended up on this ship, a perfect little whore, made just for us.”

Heat made a move to touch himself, but Kid growled and snapped a finger at him. “Not you, selfish cunt, you're just gonna sit there and watch. You've had enough turns already.”

Heat whined, putting his hands on the table, his fingers twitching and shifting nervously as he struggled to control his urges, black smoke puffing out of his nose with every strained breath. Kid removed his boot from your head and pulled his cock out of you, flipping you onto your back unceremoniously before he grabbed your thighs and pulled your ass to the edge of the table, reshealthing himself with a grunt. He grabbed your shirt and tore it open easily, exposing your breasts which bounced with every thrust. He tweaked and pinched your nipples, making you whine and your back arch of the table. “Fuck, look at those tits, these natural baby?”

“Y-yes captain,” you whined, thighs squeezing around him involuntarily as he started rubbing your clit hard with a calloused thumb.

“Fucking nice,” he growled, groping your tit hard before his hand moved further up and squeezed around your neck. The restricted air flow made you light headed, adding to the dizziness you were feeling after two hard orgasms. You vaguely registered the creaking of the table behind you and the striped mask hovering over your face, before Kid released your neck, only for Killer to grab your face and tilt your head back, shoving his cock in your mouth and giving you no time to adjust before he was gagging you with it. You had to keep your eyes shut as they watered, trying hard not to gag as Killer's cock choked you, so you didn't see how Wire stood at your side, playing with the tit that Kid wasn't already occupying as he continued to fist himself, rolling your nipple between his fingers and slapping your soft mound. Your hands came up to grab at the lacing on Killer's jeans for support as you slid back and forth on the dining table, unable to concentrate on anything except for breathing through your nose.

You moaned around Killer's cock as Kid pulled at your clit and you came again, your gummy walls squeezing him and pulling him to his own peak. He pulled out just in time to coat your pussy with cum, thick ropes beading between your labia and dripping to the rug below as he panted. The other two took that as their cue, Wire spraying hot ropes over your tits while Killer unloaded over your face, leaving you thankful that your eyes were shut. The three of them left you whining and panting on the table, leaving you cold as the three hot bodies around you suddenly disappeared. You felt used but in the best kind of way, running your hands over your body and playing with the cum, pushing Killer's into your mouth and moaning around your fingers as you sucked the frosting from them.

“What do you say, mouse?” Kid purred, sitting back in his chair, pushing his cock back into his pants.

“Thank you captain,” you whimpered, touching your oversensitive clit with gentle circles. You couldn't help yourself when you felt unbelievably lewd covered in the collective cum of three different men.

“Look at her, can't get enough, she's jerking herself off with my cum,” Kid laughed, “go on then mouse, make yourself cum, show us how much you like being our little cum rag.”

You whined as you touched yourself harder with purpose, knowing it wouldn't take much to get yourself off given how sensitive you were right now. You dipped your fingers inside yourself, curling them the way you knew you liked best, zeroing in on the spot you knew would make you squirt, wanting to impress Kid. You sat up a little to reach better, seeing Kid's shit-eating grin as he watched you, looking pleased and amused as you fingered yourself in front of him. “Good girl mouse,” he purred, “you gonna cum for us sweetheart? Show us how much you love being the ship whore.”

“Ahhh- Kid~” you whined, your torso falling back to the table as your back arched, pumping your fingers fast in and out of your overused and gaping cunt as you felt the coil in your abdomen pull tight, your free hand running over your breasts and spreading Wire's spend over them. “Gonna- gonna cum- can I cum captain?”

“Good mouse, you can cum,” he purred, impressed by your naturally submissive behaviour. You did so immediately, squirting hard with a scream the whole Grandline would hear. With nothing for your release to catch against you almost got Kid with it, which pleased him greatly to watch as your release sprayed out over the rug and tabletop. You collapsed against the table with your legs draped over the side, shaking and twitching with aftershocks, entirely spent. Kid pulled your fingers from your cunt and licked them clean, making you whine as he gave your pussy a playful slap. “Good girl, mouse, you did good. You can go back to Heat now sweetheart.”

Heat helped you off the table, pulling you into his lap where you could feel his raging erection straining in his pants under your ass. He buried his face in your shoulder with a needy whine, and as exhausted as you were you couldn't do much to comfort him, so you just pressed your face against his. Killer and Wire had already returned to their seats, acting like nothing had happened, like there wasn't a puddle of fluids on the table or a stain on the rug, and like you weren't still covered in cum, not that Heat or yourself minded. He hated smelling the others on you, but he was too turned on to complain.

“Right,” Kid cleared his throat, “now that we've gotten that out of the way, Sabaody is a few days away.” You did your best to show him you were paying attention, but it was difficult given your half asleep state. “So you better have a plan for how you're gonna prove you're not full of shit. As tight as that pussy is, you ain't stayin’ on the ship if you can't prove your story.”

“Mmm, I have a plan, Captain,” you replied with a half-lidded gaze, “I can write down everything that'll happen, give it to one of you so you know I'm not changing it. Then afterwards you'll see everything I wrote down happened. I don't think you should read it till you're back though, I don't know yet if telling you will change things, so while I'm proving myself it would be best to play it safe.”

“Hmm,” Kid hummed, “alright then. But Heat is coming with us, so you're gonna have to come too. I don't trust anyone else to babysit you when we have no proof right now that you don't have powers.”

“Ah, I'd rather you lock me in the brig, to be honest,” you replied anxiously, “not to spoil things but Sabaody will not be… uneventful… and I have no way of defending myself. I'm a decent shot with a rifle from a stationary position but I have no experience with fighting. I only know how to shoot because my dad used to take me hunting, I'd be no good in a real fight. I'll just be a burden out there.”

“Fine, but if you turn out to be full of shit, don't think we won't drag you straight to the closest human auction house,” Kid threatened.

“Noted,” you shivered, hoping like hell that you just being in this world hadn't already fucked up the series of events due to play out. You weren't keen on getting branded and sold off to some Celestial cunt. Being used like a sex doll was only fun if it was with your favourite boys.

“Heat, get her cleaned up,” Kid barked before standing, “you're dismissed.”

Heat quickly picked you up bridal style and carried you out of the room without another word before Kid could change his mind, eager to have you to himself again. He'd clean you up, for sure, but not before he put his own mark on you.

[Next Chapter]

Like my stuff? Consider buying me a ko-fi

Taglist: @chershire23 @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @nocturnalrorobin @eyes-ofhell @hellcatsworld @miyomoko-sora @loserbee14 @tzimiscequeen-blog @lansy-4 @luvnistuff @bbnbhm @fanaticsnail @ocean-mochi

[azrielslightintheshadows]

Princess

Azriel x f!Reader

One of the series I’m currently working on. Enjoy!

Summary; Reader is Mor’s new friend that she found in the winter court while she was away for business. Y/n has been raised as a princess since her parents wanted to wed her to a noble fae in order to climb the social ranks. When her parents are brutally murdered y/n is left alone without a clue about the harsh reality or the brutality of the world. Mor finds her and takes her back to Velaris afraid of what might happen to her if she was left to live on her own. Will y/n survive the hate she will receive from certain members of the inner circle -including her mate- regarding the way she grew up?

Warnings; angst, mentions of abuse, trauma and death, swearing

Masterlist.

Princess Masterlist.

Chapter 11

“I think you are ready for training” Azriel spoke.

He was sitting on the small chair by your window with a hot cup of tea in his hands.

“My hands still seize when I try to move them for more than five minutes...” you noted.

“We can focus on your legs tomorrow… you were doing so good don’t let it go to waste.”  He shrugged.

“I will think about it...” you murmured.

As you were both sitting in silence your thumbs started twitching and you knew that your hands would start seizing in a few minutes. Your eyes watered and you stared at the ground.

“What’s wrong?” Azriel asked when he noticed your expression.

“Nothing…” you chewed your bottom lip and he sighed.

“Let me see…” he said softly and got up.

You pulled your hands from the blanket and showed him, they had start seizing by now. A few tears escaped from your eyes and Azriel shook his head.

“It’s okay…” he whispered and grabbed some of the ointment. He grabbed your hands and started massaging them.

“Thank you” you replied and kept your gaze fixed on his scarred fingers. When your hands stopped seizing, he grabbed one and placed a kiss on your knuckles. Your breath hitched and he froze.

“I’m sorry I… I don’t know why I did this” he stuttered and backed off quickly, like your skin burned him.

“I’m so so sorry” he repeated and hurried out of your room before you had a chance to reply.

You gaped at the spot he was previously sitting, your thoughts running wild and your heart racing.

What was that? Why did he do this? I shouldn’t care, no… I don’t care. We are only friends and that’s only because he is helping me through all of this. I can’t be with someone who treated me like this from the moment I stepped foot in this court, the only reason why I don’t hate him is this stupid bond and the healing process with which he helped me so much.

Your thoughts kept crushing on your mind like waves and even though it hurt, you kept thinking trying to sort your feelings and beliefs. You couldn’t understand how your life turned upside down and you didn’t know who to blame. Mor brought you here but only to protect you, she couldn’t know that her friends would treat you like that. Azriel for sure was a part of the reason you got hurt but again it wasn’t his intention and if you kept your mouth shut about the mating bond nothing would’ve happened. You could blame yourself for never realizing how badly your parents were mentally abusing you and then following a stranger so blindly. You could blame yourself for not standing up when Azriel treated you like this and for leaving instead of fighting. If you stayed at the house of wind the Illyrians wouldn’t find you and now your hands would remain unsullied. You could blame your fate, maybe everything was meant to happen, maybe the Mother wanted to make you see how strong you really are and snap you out of your parent’s brainwashing. You thought about your power, you didn’t tell anyone about it in fear of what they would do to you. Your mother suppressed it with wards, what if they did the same? Were you dangerous? You could feel it building up again and you knew you had to tell someone sooner or later. What if you couldn’t hold it back and you ended up hurting someone? They wouldn’t forgive you and if they kicked you out, your life would be over before you could even blink. You knew from the moment you came that you were trapped here but now you wondered if it was indeed a bad thing. Cassian was training you and Rhysand seemed like he really cared about his family, if you could become one of them your life would get better and maybe you could be happy.

You closed your eyes and let sleep take over, you were too tired to keep thinking.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Morning came and someone knocked on your door, you almost frowned when Nesta walked in instead of Azriel.

“Good morning, Azriel said that you might want to come to training today.” She said softly.

“Good morning, I don’t know” you mumbled.

“I just came to tell you that we will be waiting for you, it’s okay if you don’t come though.” She smiled and closed the door when you nodded.

You decided to give training a chance and got up, after you washed yourself ignoring the itching on your hands when water touched them you picked your clothes. You could feel a pang every time something touched them and getting dressed took way longer than before. With a sigh you left your room and walked to the roof. The girls, Cassian and Azriel were there, and they all stopped their exercises when they saw you.

Gwyn rushed to you and pulled you for a hug. “I’m sorry” she said and rubbed your back. “Why?” you asked. Your hands remained on your sides.

“I didn’t know he is your mate.” She replied and broke the hug.

“Oh okay” you shrugged. You wanted to tell her that you would reject the bond and that she could have him if she wanted, but your mouth remained shut. No matter how hard you tried to speak it refused.

“Hello y/n, it’s good to have you back” Cassian smiled. “Azriel is going to train you today because I will be sparring with the girls.” He continued at nodded at the ring.

Azriel avoided your gaze and walked to the corner.

“Okay thank you” you said and followed the shadowsinger.

“Any pain?” Azriel asked you and glanced at your hands.

“When I was getting ready, I’m okay now” you replied. Claude had rejoined the other shadows around Azriel, and you secretly hoped it would come back to you after training.

You began stretching and Azriel watched your every move. His eyes lingered on your hands and every time they almost touched the ground he tensed.

“Az I’m fine” you rolled your eyes.

“Wh-what?” he stuttered. You sent him a questioning look and he continued “How did you call me?”

You thought about what you said and blushed.

“Oh I’m sorry…” you started but he cut you off.

“No no it’s okay” he smiled.

You practiced some kicks and worked on your balance. Every time that Azriel thought you were going to fall, his hands were instantly on your waist.

“I won’t fall” you said for the millionth time.

“I know but I don’t want to risk it, you will instinctively stretch your arms and you will get hurt, the pain will be unbearable” he also explained for the millionth time.

“Stop acting like I’m going to break, I know how badly it’s going to hurt but I won’t die” you scoffed.

“Well I’m sorry for caring” he rolled his eyes.

You snorted and shook your head. “Now you care about me? Now you decided to be nice to me? If you treated me like that from the start I wouldn’t be in this situation” you yelled and showed him your hands. You heard a few gasps from behind and noticed everyone’s gazes on your hands.

Azriel teared up and remained silent as he stared on your scarred flesh.

“You know what? Fuck you!” you spat and stormed off.

You entered your room and fell on the bed, sobs shook your body, you didn't know why you blamed him, just yesterday you thought about this and decided that it wasn't his fault. You tensed when your door opened again.

“You think that I don’t blame myself?” Azriel’s broken voice boomed through the house “I know that it is my fucking fault. I know that even though I failed you the first thing you told me was that it isn’t my fault because that’s how fucking good you are. That’s why I wanted you to hate me, because you’re the light and I’m the darkness. Do you know what darkness does? It chases the light away, it destroys it! That’s what I almost did to you.” he was sobbing as he spoke. You noticed how badly he struggled to take a breath.

“No!” you yelled back and stood in front of him “You’re wrong, the light makes the darkness disappear.”

He stared into your eyes and took a step closer.

“I’m what causes your misery. I think it’s best for you to keep a distance.”

You scoffed and moved closer to him, you were now only a few inches away.

“Of course, run away from your problems like a coward.”

His gaze moved from your eyes to your lips and back again.

“What do you want me to do?” he breathed.

“Fix what you caused. Make it up to me.” You didn’t know why you said that.

“I will, when we reject the bond.”

“Good.” You shouted. “Good” he shouted back.

You remained still for a few moments, staring at each other. You noticed all the shades of brown and green in his eyes and the few flecks of gold, they were unique and you could see that they held way too much pain inside.

“Good” he whispered again and left your room.

“Fuck you” you shouted and slammed the door shut, leaving a whimper at the pain on your hand.

Please let me know if I forgot to tag someone!

@glitterypirateduck, @zara-aliza08, @mika-no-sekai-blog , @purpleshoelaces , @act1839 , @fasoaurore, @pinksmellslikelove, @bunnyredgirl, @lectoracronica, @tuggboatfishin, @sunnysideup000, @blessthepizzaman, @raisinggray, @ssmay123 , @kalulakunundrum, @justasillylittlegoofyguy, @tsunami-of-tears, @just-a-social-casualty-1, @thelov3lybookworm, @saltedcoffeescotch, @justdreamstars, @strangersunghoon , @sosuitcandy , @cat-or-kitten, @ohthemisssery, @starsinyourseyes, @no1massassin, @stained-glass-eyes0708, @vellichor01, @hnyclover

[anemonelovesfiction]

Fated Mates 1

Ao’nung x Human AFAB! Reader

Warnings!⚠️: Mentions of Character death, sex- duhh, sex pollen just to speed the plot up, p in v, oral, use of Na’Vi words, Ao’nung Makto, please don’t ask I thought it was funny asf. I’m my own beta reader so pls excuse anything thats written wrong or doesnt make sense.

English words are stricken through whenever anyone says them

This is only part one, I’m currently unsure of how long this fanfic will be but it’ll deff be multiple chapters. As of right now I’m halfway through the second one, but please don’t rush me. My ideas flourish when I put myself in place of Y/n lol.

Translation station

Tawtute: Sky person (human)

Toruk Makto: Rider of last shadow (used to talk abt Jake)

Vrrtep: Demon

Tewng: Loincloth

Yawne: Beloved

Tìyawn: My love

Sa’nu: Mommy (but I used it thinking it meant “mama”)

Yawntutsyìp: Darling

Word count: 12.7 K … I got carried away

*~*~*~*~*

Next>>

“You might need to sit down for this.”

“Why?”

I’d always visited Neteyam since the night he’d passed. I’d often done so on my free time late at night when everyone else was asleep and wouldn’t reprimand me for going without a diving partner- I just didn’t want anyone asking invasive questions about my visits. He had a habit of being in the forest, the humid environment not really being one I cared for, but never said anything because I knew it brought him comfort.

“You remember the two tawtute who came to live with my family?” He asks me although I’m sure he knew the answer.

“Yes.” I stated curtly.

Toruk Makto had to plead his case for them to be taken in under his wing. Everyone hates the two tawtute being a part of the clan, yet somehow they managed to get my sister and Rotxo to like them. The boy seems to have a thing for the forest girl- Kiri- and for some reason I believe Rotxo might like the girls company too much. The thought of them staying here made me shiver.

“I’ve been keeping a secret from you about Y/n.” He stated and I’d just made a confused face. He smiles and shakes his head to himself.

“The girl, Y/n, thats her name. You should use it to address her from now on.”

“Why?” I asked again, wondering where this conversation was headed

“Well-“

He seemed too nervous for my liking and all I wanted to know was what he was hiding. He never hid much from me since I apologized to him for how I’d acted throughout the time they spent with us. I’d taken it upon myself to ask Lo’ak and Kiri for forgiveness for my actions in the past as well.

“Spit it out.” I stated firmly as I continued standing and crossed my arms across my chest as I waited for him to find the courage to tell me what he needed to.

“I have chosen her as your mate.”

I could only tilt my head as I look at his face and let out a small laugh.

“Neteyam-“

“I’m serious.”

“No you aren’t.” I stated firmly and could felt uneasy, my knee’s felt weak and I knew I had to sit down, but I wanted to remain standing to appear unbothered. But he could read me like a book.

“Eywa stated that she needed my help with- with your temper- and trust me it’s a lot.” He stops looking at me and turns around. “She said she needed someone who would tame that side of you and the only person I could think of was Y/n.”

“What?” I asked loudly, not registering I’d basically yelled at him.

“She’ll be a guarded at first, she’s sassy when she needs to be, but she’s a sweet heart under it all.”

“Neteyam-“ I try cutting him off as my mind starts going through this process quickly, I’m unable to think, and I suddenly feel dizzy, maybe I should sit down.

“Trust me when I say this is the best outcome for you and she needs someone like you in her life-“

“Neteyam!” I yell his name to get him to stop rambling and a look of disbelief washes over my features as I look at him. There was no way Eywa would have accepted this- my mother surely wouldn’t, she despised the tawtute, voiced her opinion loudly to my father, but he ignored her and let them stay.

“How do you even know all of this?” I asked again once He’d stopped talking and thats when his face changes to one I’ve never seen before, one that mimics a child begging for forgiveness before they explain what they did.

“Before I died…” He stops and finds the courage to look up at me again, his yellow eyes meeting mine, he sighs before beginning again.

“Before I died, we were courting. She is captivating in every way possible, a wonderful person-“

“What?” I asked in disbelief at this revelation as he’d never shared with any of us- at least to my knowledge- about his love life.

“A Na’Vi and a Tawtute?” I asked aloud again.

“My mother was against it, yours will be too-“

“No.” I cut him off again, I understood how rude I was being but there was no way I could allow myself to be mated to a tawtute.

“Tawtute cannot mate with us. They can’t form a bond, they can’t experience Eywa like we can, they can’t have our children, and I heard they die quickly.”

“It’ll be a tight fit but it works. They can’t bond the way we can but you could mark her. She’s a sensitive person already and I have seen her face- in awe- at every celebration. You can have children together if you’re fated mates and once you actually mate with her for the first time, Eywa said her age would become compatible to yours. I’m not sure how but-“

“No, Neteyam. No!” I yelled again. “This is crazy, I refuse to allow this to happen. I’m done here.”

Before he could explain any further I’d yanked my kuru from the spirit tree thus breaking my connection with Neteyam. The trip back home was a blur as all I could think of was everything he’d told me.

I decided to put a stop to the nightly visits to the Spirit tree and kept a distance from it in fear that he’d tell me this was something I had to do. I was already under my parents intense instructions as to how I need to live my life to take over once my father passes, I didn’t need another person telling me what I needed to do with my life.

I’d purposely avoided hanging out with the group knowing the tawtute would be there, I didn’t need to be reminded of everything Neteyam said, but that avoidance lasted too little for my liking, cutting myself off from them meant cutting my social circle completely, I had nobody to talk to and couldn’t bring myself to stay busy the entire day.

Two weeks seemed to be my limit.

_________

I’d always been nervous to join the group of friends that Lo’ak and Kiri had made. Spider had no problem fitting in, but he was always down for whatever, plus he had no shame in anything. But the one who I disliked having any interaction with, was the bully. Kiri didn’t hesitate to fill me in on everything he’d put them through- including his apology to them, but I still disliked him.

Upon walking up to the group I typically nervously hid behind Kiri or Spider, or even Tuk since she was taller than me, but I’d spaced out on the way over and didn’t have time to do so.

“Hey Y/n,” Rotxo saves the day by noticing me and sweetly getting my attention. I smile back at him and give a shy wave, I could feel the scrutiny of Ao’nungs judgmental stare and chose to ignore him.

“Hi,” I stated shyly at the teal man who’d greeted me first. Rotxo had a pretty cool tattoo covering his shoulder down his bicep, it was a tribute to his iknimaya, and his tulkun brother has a similar one- or so he stated.

“My favorite tawtute!” Tsireya smiles toward me and I return one just like it.

“Does this mean I’m your second favorite?” Spider teases and I pick up Kiri’s light giggle as she elbows my brother in the ribs. Apart from Jake, who appeared -and earned his title- as a Na’Vi, Spider and myself were the only tawtute Tsireya knew. Sure she’d seen Max and Norm, but she’d never hung out with them like she does with us, and she’d only seen them once.

I only turned to look at Spider and rolled my eyes, he was a skxawng, always getting too comfortable with speaking in Na’Vi and never thinking about what he says. Yet I followed behind him as the giggle rips through my own mouth as well the more I thought about his comment.

“That still makes you the least favorite human.” I responded as he playfully pushes my head forward, letting the English phrase slide past my tongue subconsciously.

“Whose excited for today?” Tsireya asks and I could feel my nerves return, I bit my bottom lip and looked at the sand worriedly. I looked back up to Tsireya who was giving me a look.

“Whats wrong?” She asks sweetly and I shuffle in the sand a bit.

“She keeps saying she has a bad feeling about today but we’ve told her nothing bad will happen.” Kiri explains and places her hands on my shoulders giving me a comforting squeeze.

“The weather is fine, the sun is out, the wind is not strong-“ Rotxo states as he looks back into the water we’d yet to go in.

“It’s just-“ I stop myself and cover my face with my hand before sliding that hand back in my hair. “The last time I had this feeling, Spider and I were caught by the avatar’s. And we can see how badly that ended.” I pushed out.

“Hey, that won’t happen again, y’know that, right?” Lo’ak is quick to answer as he steps by my side, squatting on his toes to reassure me, Spider also coming up on my other side and hugging me. Kiri remained behind me as she comforted me by holding me by my shoulders, gently rubbing them, I was surrounded by great people.

I nod weakly at his direction but couldn’t shake the feeling.

“Y’know what dad says, right?” Lo’ak asks again and I turn to look at him. I let out a short sigh from my nostrils, just knowing where this conversation is going.

“Sully’s stick together.” Lo’ak, Kiri, and Spider stated and I looked up toward Kiri then toward my other side at Spider.

“Really?” I’m asking them in general.

“Say it back, Y/n/n.” Spider says with a playful smile on his own lips and I roll my eyes as my own smile appears.

“Sully’s stick together.”

There was a total of four Ilu going, meaning everyone was paired up, or almost everyone was. Kiri and Spider were going together and so were Lo’ak and Tsireya- no surprise there. We’d already planned for me to go with Rotxo and everyone decided it was best to leave Ao’nung alone. But in order to get to the Spirit tree, we had to dive under the retaining wall, and it was quite a long breath hold. Up until this point the Ilu had been treading above water, Rotxo had to hold one hand on the harness and the other on my hip, Kiri did the same with Spider.

“H-how long?” I asked Rotxo with a nervous voice and I could tell he knew.

“Long, but we’ll get there as fast as we can, I promise.” He states gently and uses his thumb to rub my side as a means to calm me. “Just breath in using your belly, yeah?” He says again and I nod, doing just that, taking in a breath using my diaphragm. I hold on to the harness as well, knowing that once we dive our bodies will essentially float off of the Ilu.

“Here we go,” He states as he too takes in a quick breath and we dive.

The sea floor was never really something we came close to seeing, but the vivid colors of the coral that popped up every now and again were beautiful and caught my attention. I’d come to realize we were actually pretty close to the retaining wall as Rotxo lifted one of his hands to touch the bottom part of it, I refrained from doing the same since I didn’t want my skin to shred off of my finger, I didn’t know how fast we were going and decided not to risk it. The space between the retaining wall and the sea floor wasn’t huge, but it was just enough to let the migrating tulkin come for a visit, a cute story they all shared with me from when Neteyam was alive.

I caught a couple different fish swimming around us and heading up toward the little pools of water that were at the top of the retaining wall. The Natives made sure to feed the fish that came up and only occasionally take some as to not scare them all off. I had no idea the variety of shimmering colorful scales there were but looked at them in awe. I was tapped on the shoulder twice and knew we were about to resurface and as soon as we did all eyes were on me.

“That was so beautiful!” I basically yelled and giddily jump on the Ilu. “All of the pretty colors, and the different fish, and the coral!” I squeal at it and can hear a couple of them laughing, my face felt warm and I just knew a blush was covering my cheeks.

“We’re not that far away-“ Lo’ak breaks the silence and everyone continues on the path.

_________

I’d spent the majority of these past two weeks picking up extra work and making sure I could keep my mind off of what Neteyam had told me just to circle back so easily toward our group just because I couldn’t stand not having a social life.

I knew they’d planned an excursion of some sort, Tsireya had mentioned it to me in the hopes that I hung out with them again, and I wanted to- but I didn’t really want to because of the girl.

I knew I wasn’t in the mood to be carrying anyone with me on the Ilu, but seeing Rotxo with his hands all over her made me feel weird. Surprisingly she’d managed to hold her breath long enough to get past the retaining wall, but her child-like excitement at what she’d seen was something that made something in my chest tighten, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to understand it as I dived and headed off to where we were meant to be.

I’d been the first to arrive near the petals of the spirit tree and slid off my Ilu. I was tempted to connect myself to the tree but refrained as I knew the rest would be coming soon and I’m certain Tsireya would be upset that I’d done so without a diving partner. Just as I’d lifted myself up on the make-shift bridge I can see the rest of them coming in through the entrance, and the awe-struck face of the girl caught my attention once more.

She’s a sensitive person already and I have seen her face- in awe- at every celebration.

Neteyam’s voice rang through my head as I see the tears slide down her cheek.

“Awe, Y/n,” Tsireya coo’s and reaches over to wipe the girls face.

“She cries all the time,” Spider stated and gets hit upside the head by Kiri, I have to look away to stop myself from laughing. I figured I already had a terrible reputation with the girl and doubted they’d think I was laughing at her brother’s misfortune.

“She cries when she see’s beautiful things, skxawng.” Kiri rolls her eyes at the human in front of her.

“So,” Spider slides off the Ilu. “All the time?” He jokes and swims away from Kiri’s hand, she almost managed to slap him that time too.

“Do you want me to drop you off at the walkway?” Rotxo offers and affectionately places his hand on the humans head and I have to look away again. Some stupid part of me wanted to hiss at the action just then.

“I’ll swim.” Her tiny voice speaks up as she too slides off the Ilu. Splashing away before catching up toward the other human and smacking him on the head.

“Hey!” Spider yells as she manages to reach the walkway, pulling herself up, and twisting her body to sit as the water cascades back down.

“This is a sacred place, Spider, stop being petty in front of Eywa.” She scolds him as he grabs onto her leg and tries pulling her back in the water.

“I’ll take Eywa’s rath over you being right any day-“ He huffs as he yanks once more, knocking her off the bridge and back into the water.

I shake my head, they acted like literal children, and it didn’t help that they were already smaller than we were. Well the girl was smaller, the boy was pretty tall for a tawtute.

It didn’t take long for them to partner up, for obvious reasons Lo’ak and Tsireya were partnered up as well as Kiri and Rotxo. Kiri said she didn’t want to risk connecting to the spirit tree below water to prevent what happened last time and she’d offered me the opportunity to partner up with Rotxo instead but I declined.

The tawtute were huddled on the walkway too close for my liking as they spoke in their native tongue. I had no idea what they were saying and I didn’t want to learn their stupid language.

“Hey, fish lips-“ My ears flicker at the Na’Vi being spoken my way, I roll my eyes and ignore him.

“He has a name, Spider-“ I could hear the girl say in a hushed tone. I still ignored the two and refused to turn to look at them, focusing my stare down at the others connected to the spirit tree.

“Then yew azk hm,” I heard the retched language again.

“Uh-“ I heard the unsure voice of the girl and could hear foot steps getting closer. I turn with an unenthused look on my face but it turns to one of surprise when I realize it’s the girl.

“Sorry to bother you,” she stated so quick I almost didn’t understand what she had said. “But do you not have anyone you want to visit?” She asks so sweetly.

“Is that really your business?” I sneer at her and see her thin her lips immediately.

“N-no, not really. I just-“

“Then stop bothering me.” I answered before turning my head.

_________

“Thats the last time I try being nice to him.”

“That was the only time you’ve spoken to him.” Spider states as he moves his legs in the water, the rest of his body sitting on the magnetic rock.

“Because he’s rude. He’s a dick.” I sat back down and sigh heavily. I can feel the wind pick up and the hairs on my arm stand to attention, goosebumps covering my body.

“Hey, Spider-“ I stated in a serious tone and he looks up at me.

“What is it?” He asks with a raised brow and I can feel the tingle in my body.

“I felt it.” I stated seriously and his face falls at the realization. He looks up above my head and I turn to look behind me at the black clouds that were starting to cover the sky.

“Hey- hey, It’s going to be okay, we’ll make it back safe.” He reassures me but I shake my head as all I can do is think back to what happened the last time I got this feeling.

“Hey, fish lips, we need to call everyone back!” Spider yells for him and all I can do is get lost in thought about what could possibly happen. I’d never been in the sea during a storm. The waves start picking up by the tree but only a little.

“Everything is fine, we don’t need to-“ Ao’nung starts talking but pauses when he turns around. He jumps into the water immediately and leaves us on the surface.

“Spider we need to leave, now!” I yelled and could feel myself breathing heavily.

“Look at me, look-“ He grabs my face harshly but I couldn’t really feel it. “We got out of dad’s grasp we can get out of this too, yeah?”

All I could do was nod and at that point everyone had emerged from the waters, calling over the Ilu.

“Y/n, come here-“ Rotxo is quick to call me as his Ilu strides over. I’m shaking at this point and struggle to lower myself on the walkway and toward his Ilu.

“Hurry up!” Ao’nung yells and the waves start picking up, splashing over the walkway

“Bro, shut the fuck up.” Lo’ak speaks and it comes as a shock to everyone. He’s holding onto Tsireya but his look would definitely kill, he turns to me and his face is full of worry as he too makes his Ilu come closer.

“C’mon Y/n/n, lower yourself to sit on the walkway, we’ll help you.” He stated and I nod, I lower myself on the walkway to sit.

“Rotxo, grab her hips and sit her on the Ilu, she doesn’t weigh much.” He reassures the teal guy as he does exactly what Lo’ak says and Spider dives into the water, popping up by Kiri, who offers her hand as she helps him sit on the Ilu she was on.

“We’ll need to try to do the trip under water as much as possible, just tap on my hand when you need to breathe, okay?” Rotxo reassures me and I nod trying to take a deep breath but failing to do so as the tears start.

“You’re okay, Y/n, they won’t take you again. You have all of us here to protect you,” Rotxo states and gingerly pats my tummy, I take a few quick breaths before taking a huge breathe and we dive.

Its crazy how the top of the waters were roaring crazily, waves crashing around as the sea had her mood swings, but everything below the surface remained calm. Rotxo signs to ask me if I’m okay and I sign back that I could use another breath, then tap his arm twice with my own.

“I’m sorry-“ I stated as we reached the surface and I can feel the rain splashing on us harshly, the black clouds had caught up to us and the wind was sharp.

“It’s okay, are you ready?” He asks as he takes a breath of his own and we dive once more.

The group had all resurfaced a little further ahead of us but joined soon after. I knew my intuition was right, but I wanted to have a nice outing today and was hopeful that I was wrong, but after the bad feeling I get in my gut it usually goes away after being proven right but it was still there. I felt a warm presence beside me and in the blink of an eye I flung from the Ilu.

I could feel Rotxo reach out to grab me but he’d failed to as I was already pretty far away. I’d managed to let out a huff of air as I was unexpectedly swept away and held my breath since I couldn’t resurface, waiting for the dizzying current to stop and could feel my vision going black as my eyes felt heavier. Maybe now I would join Neteyam.

_________

For some reason, I had a voice in my head telling me to swim behind everyone else and make sure they got home safe before I did. It might have just been from my fathers training in becoming a great leader, so I shook it off.

We were technically halfway to the retaining wall and the sea water above us was rambunctious. I’m unsure what had caused this type of storm but it was happening for a reason, maybe because we brought them with us to a sacred place.

Before I could think any further I could see Rotxo reaching back to grasp the human that had surprisingly flung off his Ilu. I see how quickly her body was passing by and could only conclude she’d been swept away by a current.

Go home, I’ll get her, I’ll see you there when this is over.

I signed to Rotxo but didn’t wait for his answer as I’d already made my Ilu swim into the current to follow the human. It didn’t take long for me to reach her but she felt limp, I couldn’t resurface and check on her so I swam to the closest place I knew wouldn’t be affected.

Resurfacing in the cave where the water was much calmer helped tremendously. I’d settled the human on the make shift level ground in the middle. I tried remembering what Rotxo said Neteyam had done to Kiri when she swallowed sea water as well. I lean down slowly and turn her body toward the side and she spits up a lot of water. She opens her eyes and sits up quickly, backing away once she see’s me.

“What happened?” She asks immediately as I had placed my hands up to show her I meant no harm. She seemed to have touched a plant as she scooted backward and looks back at her hand as she does and rubs it against her leg.

“You were swept away from a current, I followed after. I couldn’t resurface with the storm so I brought you here to make sure you were fine.” I admit and felt myself confused as to why I was giving her so much information.

“Wheres everyone else?” She asks and coughs a bit.

“I told them to keep going home and we’d meet them there eventually, but we have to wait for the storm to pass.” I explained.

“Why did you save me?” She asks and confusion settles over her face.

“Because I felt like I needed to.” I admit and she lets out a small hum. She looks around in the cave and rests her back against one of the walls.

“Is this your secret place?” She asks and I look back at her raising a brow.

“I come here to think.” I admit and look back toward the natural waterfall that separates the entrance of the cave and where we sat. Water surrounded the make-shift island until where she sat with her back to the wall, the water was shallow near her though.

“It’s pretty, the lights make me feel calm.” She states and points to the bioluminescent walls as some of the plants are blooming around it. I nod absentmindedly as I stare at the plants and the realization hits me.

“Oh no,” I stated and stood up to inspect the flowers. “No, no, no,” I repeated as I rubbed the pollen between my fingers and could smell its sweet aroma.

“What? Whats wrong?” She asks and gets up, wiping her hand on her cheek, I turn and grab at her hand quickly, looking at the pollen on her hands and cheek.

“Ao’nung-“ She pleads.

“I didn’t know they were in bloom- I, I swear I didn’t do this on purpose.” I could feel myself freaking out for the first time in a while.

“You’re freaking out over flowers?” She laughs a little. “I thought this was something serious.”

“It is serious. The pollen reacts with us in a negative way and it-“ I stop myself and look at her. “I have no idea how it would affect you.”

“Is this a kind of joke to get me scared over a flower?” She asks and sits back down.

“Not to tell you what to do but could you hug me or something? You guys are usually very warm and humans are sensitive to temperatures, being wet and in a cave isn’t really good for me.”

“I’m not touching you,” I stated firmly.

“I could die if I’m not warm and no I’m not lying about that. It’s either hug me now or face Jake and Neytiri later.”

_________

I hadn’t woken up from my sleep completely because I’d kept my eyes closed but felt warmer than I usually did. I tried moving to allow myself more ventilation and it wasn’t until now that I felt an arm wrapped around my waist, my back was pressed against someone’s chest.

“Too warm-“ I stated sleeping and tried pushing against the hand on my waist to no avail.

“S’what you wanted.”

I opened my eyes immediately and try pushing with more force but every swipe of my body against his felt good.

“Ao’nung,” I whined but bit my lip at how I’d sounded.

“Y/n,” He retorts back sleepily and pulls me back against his chest.

“So you are capable of calling me something other than Tawtute and Vrrtep.” I try pushing myself away again and feel something else poking into me and he groans. Oh shit.

“Stop moving,” He groans but keeps a tight grip on me.

“Stop holding me against you.” I try getting away and feel his arm tighten around me, not allowing me to move.

“You said-“

“I know what I said, but its hot, I’m sweating. And your hands aren’t helping.”

“So it affects you too.” He states and I turn to look at him- or turn as much as I could.

“Are you going to tell me what that flower does?” I asked and he groans.

“You’ve felt the affects of it already, but I know what you’re thinking and you can’t fix it on your own. I’ve tried before and failed and waiting it out lasts three days. It’s unbearable but I won’t do anything you don’t want to.” I could feel his breath on my neck and bite back a whimper. His finger moves aimlessly around the edges of my tewng, near the bow I used to tie it.

“So we can agree we’re doing this to help each other out right?” I ask and he grunts as an answer, his fingers tugging one of the strings within the bow to untie it.

“I’ll stop when you say, even if it pains me, but you need to understand that you can’t do this by yourself.” He states and kisses my shoulder.

“Yes,”

And with that the string is untied and my tewng is pushed off of my body, my neck is being peppered with many kisses and his hand is rubbing up against my thigh. Grasping it and lifting it up and over one of his own, letting it dangle, and it wasn’t until now that I felt how wet I’d become.

“You smell amazing,” He comments and a blush covers my face. The hand that had been on my thigh is now on my belly, sliding down slowly.

“Shut up,” I gasp as his fangs tug on the skin of my neck just right.

It doesn’t take long for his hands to reach the place I needed them in and I gasp at how gentle he’d been when sliding his hands across my aching cunt.

“What do you like?” He asks while collecting some of my slick and rubbing it on my hardened clit.

“That, I like that-“ I whine as I find it hard to think in Na’Vi since all I could focus on was the pleasure he was providing me at the moment.

“You smell so damn good-“ He groans and takes his fingers away from my cunt, shoving them in his mouth, and I’m mortified, but he groans at the taste. “-and you taste divine,” His fingers move back to where they were.

“Oh fuck,” I whine at the feeling and throw my back.

“I have no idea what you’re saying but I know they’re naughty words, you shouldn’t speak like that, Y/n.”

“Ao’nung go faster, please.”

“You’ve been fingered, right?” He asks.

“Yes~”

He carefully places one inside and the stretch was welcomed, but strange, I hadn’t had anyone do this since just before being captured in the forest. But I couldn’t help myself sliding against it. He snakes his other hand around to hold my clothed breast in his hands.

“You’re close aren’t you, I can feel it.” He whispers and kisses my cheek. I could only throw my head back between his beck and shoulder while shamelessly riding his finger, my bottom lip stuck between my teeth.

“No,” he pulls on my chin with the hand that was on my breast. “I wanna hear you, little one.”

I couldn’t help but allow myself to moan loudly at his words and actions. It doesn’t help that my back was against his chest but I needed my mouth on his.

“Can you take another one?” He asks.

“Yes,” I answer mid moan in plain English and I’m happy he understood as he shoves a second finger in, the stretch wasn’t painful, it felt so good to have someone else doing this again.

“Too wrapped up in pleasure to think in Na’Vi?” He teases and I nod my head.

“Ao’nung, I’m coming-“

“It’s like I can understand you, even with your demon language, come on my fingers, little one.”

_________

Her orgasm gripped my fingers ferociously, her smooth velvety walls were greedily sucking my fingers in at the same time and her moans were making the experience sweeter. I couldn’t help but bite my own lip to prevent the whimper from coming out but failed at doing so as I watched her body react to my fingers alone.

I slid my fingers out of her dripping cunt and could see how well she’d covered them with her juices. I sit up bringing them up closer toward my mouth and taste her again, groaning in pleasure at her taste, she was addictive.

“Let me help you-“ she’s breathing heavily, chest rising up and down as she shakily turns to look at me.

“Why?” I asked her in confusion but wanting to kick myself in the face for turning her help down.

“Because you helped me, now it’s my turn to help you.” I hadn’t noticed before since it was dark in the cave but her pupils were blown wide, yet she was acting sweet.

“You’re acting kind,” I stated in a state of shock and she just nods.

“If we continue I will not be kind, the pollen makes us-“ she places her hand on my mouth to stop me from talking.

“Fuck the pollen, no wait, fuck me, but also fuck the pollen.”

Lo’ak had said that word has two meanings but I seemed to have understood her completely at that moment. I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander down toward her mouth and back up at her face again.

“Has he put his in your mouth before?”

“Yes,” She answers plainly as her little fingers greedily move their way to untie my tewng. And the relief flooding through my body as soon as my cock sprang free.

“Woah-“ She comments and just stares, is she disgusted?

She carefully uses a finger to trace it from the head back to the base and wraps that hand around it, her entire hand couldn’t wrap around it completely and I could feel my pride grow.

“So Metkayina men are bigger in every aspect.” She glides her hand back up toward the head and a shudder leaves my body, she slides it back down.

“What about you?” She asks, I hadn’t realized I’d closed my eyes until I find hers on mine when I open them. “What do you like?” She repeats the question I’d asked her earlier as she glides her hand back up toward the head. I place my hand on her head after she asks me the question, ruffling her hair.

“Whatever you’re comfortable with, little one.”

And with that she smiles, using her other hand to collect slick from herself and placing it on top of the one on my cock, I couldn’t help but thrust my hips up in her hands after she’d done that. She doesn’t hesitate to run her thumb over the head and I tried to hold it in but-

“Please-“ I beg and thrust myself into her hands again.

“Please what?” She asks in such a tiny voice I felt so out of place but I thrust in her hands again, whimpering at the sensation.

“Awe, come on, use your words.” She teases her thumb over the head again.

“I want-“ I thrust again and moan “-to come,” I huff and thrust myself faster.

“Not yet,” She seemed to be having fun with this as she moved her hands faster.

“Will you stop being mean to me if I let you come?” She asks and it catches me off guard.

“W-what?” I asked as my hips move on their own, just to feel her sweet hands at work, she had such a gentle touch.

“You heard me.”

“I’ll do anything you want if you let me come,” I moan and my breath hitches at her pace.

“Y/n, I’m close-“

“I know,” She leans down to fit the head in her mouth and the warm sensation was what threw me overboard as I came while moaning at the suckling she’d done, losing control of my hips and pushing in the slightest bit.

I’d detangled my hands from her hair, not remembering when it was I’d done that, and her mouth slides off my cock. She has drool and cum dribbling down her chin and I can’t help but use my thumb to clean her up a bit, only to shove it back inside her mouth and she clamps it shut around my finger, sucking it clean without my asking.

“You’re filthy,” I spoke in shock feeling my cock pulse at her actions. “I want to taste you,” I added and she stops sucking, looking back at me with wide eyes, letting go of my thumb she only stares up at me.

“Okay,” she sounds shy all of a sudden but all I can do is smile.

“You’re very beautiful,” I said in a serious tone and she only looks down. I grasp her jawline gently between my pointer finger and thumb, moving her face up to look at mine and lean down to kiss her. She kisses back and wraps her arms around my neck, making my cock twitch back to life.

“How do I take this contraption off?” I tug at the shirt she wore, it was an off the shoulder that came above her belly, but I had no idea how my sister made it or how she took it off. She turns around and moves her hair and I see it tied together.

_________

“How are you ready to go again?” I asked once I turned. I had meant to grab his face to kiss him but felt a little curious.

“Lay down for me,” He orders and I could feel myself clench around nothing but sit on my bum, looking up at him, I was nervous. Sure Neteyam and I had done things with our hands to each other, we’ve also done oral, but we never got to the full act of sex, so I was still a virgin even when Neteyam’s fingers popped my cherry. And there was something taboo about getting head from my friends bully.

“Are you okay?” He asks and I felt the nerves in my belly act up. His hand had come to my face and it felt warm.

“Just nervous.” I nod and turn my head to kiss his hand, his face softens and he leans down to kiss me again.

“I can kiss the nerves away, little one.”

And it surprises me that he does. The heat from the stupid pollen had returned as it made its way throughout my body but with each kiss he’d given me down my neck and onto my collar bones I could feel myself cooking down again. He doesn’t waste any time massaging my bare breast with his massive hands, making sure to pay attention to my nipples.

“You’re a tease-“ I gasp and he hums in agreement placing one of them in his mouth. Twisting his tongue around my nipple.

“Damn,” I mutter breathless.

He switches over toward the other nipple and gives it the same attention and I could feel the slick again, moaning at the sensation of his hand gliding down my side and onto my thighs. Lowering himself as he peppers kisses down my stomach and settles between my legs, making sure his arms are holding my thighs apart, hooking them around and holding me in place.

I swear I can hear him purring but he doesn’t really move, I peer over and notice he’s sniffing my cunt and I moan at the sight. He starts placing kisses on my inner thigh, trailing them up toward his prize and I’m a whimpering mess.

“I’m going to enjoy this more than you are,” He comments and licks teasingly around my lips, but with how sensitive I am down there he may as well have been licking my clit.

“St-stop teas-ing,” I manage to mutter but he doesn’t care since he does it a second time, ripping out a moan from me. I gasp as he licks a fat stripe on my cunt, I buck my hips as much as I can with how still he’s holding me and it makes me feel feral.

He takes his time licking around my already sensitive and puffy clit, kind of like french kissing my cunt, but I couldn’t help myself as I bucked my hips in his mouth, although I hadn’t succeeded much in moving my lower half. I could feel my orgasm approaching and needed to hold onto something- so my hands flew up to his hair. I can hear him laugh into my pussy as he continued eating.

“Fuck, please let me come.” I whine and feel him tapping on my belly with one hand. I struggle to look down and his face is buried in my pussy, but he signs instead.

Go ahead and come.

And with his permission I seize up under his tongue working his magic on me, he’d let go of my thigh as he signed and I humped the ever living fuck out of his face as I came. Once he comes up for air I can see how shiny his nose down to his chin look. I let out a tired giggle upon seeing his face and have come to realize his pupils are blown wide.

“I think I’m addicted to you,” He kisses my tummy on his way back up and plants a kiss on my forehead.

“How?” I asked out of curiosity.

“The way you smell,” He kisses me on the mouth and I could practically feel the emotion.

“The way you taste and the sounds you make,” Another kiss.

“How sweet you are,” Another.

I don’t hesitate to take my hand down toward his penis as he kisses me a third time and he hisses. I run my hand as low as I can and back up, squeezing the head to tease him a little as his hips jerk into my hand.

“I thought I was filthy?” I teased and purposely let go of him.

“You can be,” He leans down and kisses me again.

“Have you ever had- this, with anyone else before?” I asked him.

“Are you getting jealous?” He smirks and I roll my eyes.

“No, skxawng,”

“Yes, but this is also as far as I’ve gotten with them. But I want to go further with you, if you’ll let me.” He seems shocked at his own words but his face is serious. “Have you and-“

“This is as far as we’ve gotten too.” I admit. “But-“ I stop myself and catch his eye.

“I want you to be my first, pollen or not, I want to make you feel good, Ao’nung.” I stated seriously. And his hands find my face gently caressing my cheeks.

“I want you to feel good, but I need you to tell me if it hurts, I’m not sure how much of me you can take or if I’ll hurt you in the process.”

“I took two of your fingers pretty well, I’m sure I can handle you.” I stated and he kisses me again, so much passion and emotion running through me I felt dizzy again.

We found ourselves lying in missionary and he’d been biting his lip the entire time, working his way up to sticking his penis in.

“Look at me Yawne,” He asks and sounds scared as I look over. “You promise you’ll tell me?” He asks and his concern is adorable.

“Yes, I promise, but the burning feeling of the pollen is starting to come back pretty bad,” I whined slightly and he nods. He bites his lip in concentration and places the head against my waiting hole covered in slick. I gasp at the feeling of his head spreading me and it felt massive.

“Fuck-“ He states in pure english and I’m shocked at how he’d used the word correctly. His chest is rising a little faster than before but his eyes were closed.

There was no way this entire thing was going to fit into me and not hurt me, there was no fucking way! I tried to breathe through it to calm my heart but I should have known he would have sensed something was off.

“Talk to me little one, how does it feel?” He asks with such composure I feel surprised he managed to speak so calm.

“Uncomfortable but only a little,” I groan.

“Do you want to stop?” He asks and I keep my head laid down but move my eyes to look at him, shaking my head.

“I’m okay, keep going,” I urge him, he does go in more and he groans. I let out a long exhale as I try mentally preparing myself for this. I let out a cry as soon as I feel his fingers stroking my clit, unintentionally thrusting my own hips, taking more of him in.

“Figured I should help you out a bit,” He teases while running many circles over my already abused bud.

“How much of you is inside?” I asked through clenched teeth.

“About a third,” He states. “Are you okay?” He asks and I nod weakly.

“Just keep doing that,” I grasp onto the hand he has between my legs gingerly and he speeds it up.

“Ah~” I hiss and thrust against him, taking more of him in again. But just then he hit something that made me see fire works.

“That felt so good Tìyawn,” He moans and I could only figure I’d unintentionally clenched around him.

“Do that again,” I gasp as he slides out partially but slides back in. I throw my head back and arch my back slightly feeling the tip rub against me deliciously.

It eventually doesn’t take long for him to grasp my arms and hold them above my head as he thrusted in me without mercy. Both of us had been lost in the pleasure and our moans were echoing in the cave, I’d almost forgotten the Ilu had been on the other side of the waterfall.

“Oh my Eywa,” He states as soon as his hips collide with mine.

“Y/n- ugh- wow!” He struggles to stay consistent and I’m in a world of pleasure. I lift my head up to look at his face but this man is straight up biting his lips and his eyes are closed. It doesn’t take me long to look down and see the bulge in my belly as he moves and I contract around him.

“Agh-“ He hisses.

“Let me touch you, please-“ I couldn’t find it in myself to speak in Na’Vi so I didn’t.

But just as he happened to understand me earlier, he understood me again and releases my hands from his grasp. It was only a hypothesis but I had to test it out, as his body leaned over me I grasped the tips of his ears and rolled them between my thumb and pointer finger.

“Wanna come so bad, please let me come,” His hips stutter in deliciously against mine and he’s become a whimpering mess. I smile weakly at my victory and rub his ears faster and he’s moaning loudly, I had no idea he could be this vocal.

“Please little one, I need to come,” He begs again and his hands are on my hips, I could feel it too.

“Feel s’good, warm, tight, fuck!” He growls out the last word in English.

“Come, please come!” I whined and he leans down to bite the skin between my neck and shoulder at the exact moment I contract around his girthy cock. Hot spurts of his come coaxing my womb generously, most of it coming back out.

_________

“Wait-“ She places her hands on my arms as I dipped her into the water carefully, holding her body close to mine as I washed my come off of her.

“I’ll be quick, just need to clean you up,” I stated as my hands gently went between her legs to clean her up, her hiss is what stopped me in my tracks but I continued even slower.

“Is the storm over?” She asks and my ears flicker at the question, it hadn’t occurred to me to check the weather but didn’t hear the splatter of rain drops on the cave.

“Yes, we should head home soon before they send a search party.” I admitted and she nods. I slowly lift her out of the water and place her on the little island, pulling myself out of the water and sitting next to her, I’d already put my tewng back on and stood her up to place hers on as well. I held on to her hip to steady her as her legs kept shaking and managed to wrap hers on her body and tied it off.

“How do you put this back on?” I asked as I grasped the shirt she wore and she yanks it from my hands, placing it on herself, moving her hair out if the way so I could tie the back of it.

“We should probably go now, how far away are we?” She asks.

“Not too far, about halfway.” I stated and called the Ilu over, it emerges from the waterfall blocking this area from the entrance of the cave and I sit on it, holding a hand for her to take.

“I’ll go above water but you’ll need to hold your breath when we get to the wall.”

“Okay,” She’d responded and we spent the entire way back in silence. I wouldn’t call it comfortable but it wasn’t terrible, I figured she needed to rest her mind somewhat before talking, and I granted her that silence until we got back to the retaining wall.

“Ready?” I asked.

“Not really,” She responded. I’d placed my hand on her belly to feel her take her breath and she seemed to understand as she slowly inhaled deeply. Once she stopped I gave the Ilu the instruction to dive. I’d already seen the familiar faces of my parents and her family waiting for us to arrive as soon as we’d come back up.

“I was worried when the storm let up and I hadn’t seen you, what took you so long!” My mother’s voice was the first to speak once we got closer.

“I wanted to make sure she was okay to dive again.” I answered and out on the best face I could to convince her. As we got closer I placed my hand on Y/n’s hips and lifted her off the Ilu and straight into Toruk Makto’s hands, who lifted her up with ease.

“We were worried for you, kid.” He speaks to her as he kneels to check if she is injured.

“Whats this-“ He asks and reaches for her neck, she immediately hides my marking from him and covers it with her hair.

“Nothing.” She stated nonchalantly and he gives her a look before his eyes find mine. I look away immediately, I didn’t want him reading into my soul.

“Is the tawtute hurt?” My mother asks and takes a step closer to her.

“M’fine. I didn’t get hurt, your son took care of me, sorry for worrying you.” She stated so plainly and starts to walk away, I furrow my brows and hop off the Ilu, disconnecting myself from him and stepping onto the walkway myself.

“Wait a minute, Kid,” Jake speaks up after her and she stops but doesn’t turn around.

“Thank you for waiting for me, but I’m tired, I need to rest now.” She speaks and walks once more, Jake following after her.

“What did you do?” My mother hisses at me as I watch Y/n walking away.

“What? Nothing. I went after her when she was swept away from a current and made sure she was feeling better before we came back here. We waited the storm out in a cave nearby.” I omitted some of the truth but that was something she didn’t need to know about.

She only glares at me but takes my word for it as she turns and starts walking back herself, but not without stopping at the many people who had gathered around. It seemed like she was working on gathering a search party for us.

_________

“What happened?” Neytiri asks me so calmly I had not really expected this from her. Jake and I had just arrived at the entrance of the marui where she stood. I had no idea what to say but also didn’t want to have this conversation.

“All that matters is that she’s fine and needs her rest. Right kid?” Jake cuts in and I’m thankful he does.

“Y/n!” Tuk shouts happily from behind Neytiri and runs up to hug me.

“Hi TukTuk,” I smile at her and hug her back.

“Holy shit, she lives!” Spider comes out after hearing Tuk yell, I’m sure, but comes up to hug me either way.

“Don’t cuss in front of the child Skxawng!” I smack the back of his head and he laughs.

“Holy shit! Y/n!” Lo’ak is the next out of the tent followed by Kiri who all join in on the hug. I’m appalled at him cussing too and attempt to smack his head but hit his neck instead.

“Dad, Y/n just tried assassinating me,” Lo’ak whines.

“Good, somebody has to,” Jake jokes and Lo’ak frowns.

“Mom?” He asks and she just laughs at our antics but it wasn’t always like that with her.

When Neteyam had told her about how he was courting me for the longest time behind her back she went ballistic. She’d come up to hells gate- unannounced- asking for me specifically. I knew it couldn’t have gone well and she’d called me every name under the sun.

She had wondered what kind of corruption I’d set upon her son and wanted me to stop seeing him immediately. She’d told me that nobody would want someone they couldn’t bond with, that I was the biggest mistake he’d ever made, and he’d come to realize it soon. I’d been a mess of tears afterward and wondered why I’d allowed myself to fall for him.

He visited me after I hadn’t shown up to dinner and I begged him to choose someone else. He assured me that not even his mother would stop him from loving me, and that was the first night we ever did anything sexual. But he was gentle and sweet, and his words of affirmation made me feel so fuckin happy. It was after that night that Neteyam had stood up to his mother and told her to never talk to me the way she had again. It took a while before she wasn’t glaring at my presence but she grew to love me.

“Your mom likes me more,” I joke as soon as the hug was broken. He only places his hand gently on my head, scrunching his nose at the joke, my face fell and my eyes filled with tears at the gesture. Neteyam did that often, and I hadn’t planned to, but I started bawling.

“Oh, Kid,” Jake stated sadly and pulls me in for another hug.

“Lets go sleep, Y/n/n.” Tuk tugs on my hand while keeping herself close to comfort me.

“Come on, we can sleep like how we used to, right mom?” Lo’ak asks, his hand on my shoulder and I feel myself nodding against Jake.

_________

I’d found it weird that Kiri, Lo’ak, and spider had shown up without Y/n. But I didn’t want to comment on it since according to them we don’t get along, much less ask everyone where the other person is so I silently prayed that someone would ask where she was.

“Where is Y/n?” Rotxo was the first to ask and I guess I should have asked Eywa to let Tsireya notice instead but it was too late for that. Rotxo had no business wondering where she was.

“She wasn’t feeling well and had to stay in the marui resting.” Spider stated his explanation and I was wondering why she wasn’t feeling well. She did act a little weird last night after we’d gotten home and none of the family showed up for dinner. Had I done something wrong?

I’d been too worried on Y/n to really focus on my tasks today. I wasn’t up to par with my teasing of the darker toned family and found myself wondering how I could fix whatever problem the tawtute had. I’d been too unfocused that my dad took notice and told me to visit my mother to check up on me.

“What is wrong?” She asks as soon as her face lands on mine and I gulp, was it that evident on my face?

“Nothing,” I answered too quickly.

“I could hear your father asking where your focus has gone. And can only imagine you are sick, which you do not appear to be, or there is someone consuming your thoughts. So, who is she?” She asked so calmly as she finishes mixing some kind of drink together, refilling one of her bottles, but looking back at me as she finishes.

“Sa’nu,” I try stopping her but knew I was blushing. It was very rare for us to be affectionate in public, but we were always digging into each others personal lives every day. We often teased Tsireya about Lo’ak and their courtship. Tsireya and I often made fun of our parents, sometimes being grossed out by their kisses, but it felt different now that I was older.

“You cannot hide anything from me ma’itan,” She smiles at me and motions for me to come closer.

“You need to make clear with this girl what it is you want. If you want to court her do so, we do not need you filling your mind with doubt or worry. If she rejects you she wasn’t meant to be yours and was a loss cause anyway. You are perfect in my eyes and you will be perfect in hers.”

“Thank you,” I said at her words. She was always willing to comfort me at any given time and she was a wonderful mother. She kisses my forehead and caresses my face, moving the strands of hair off to the side, smiling widely at me.

“Introduce us to her when you are ready, until then, I will not pry. But pretend to focus for your fathers sake, hmm?”

“Okay,” I answer with a chuckle.

“Am I to expect you for dinner, or?” She leaves the question open and I blush at her words looking away from her gaze. “I will not.” She nods her head and goes back to her liquids.

Dinner could not have come soon enough as everyone gathered around to eat together. I’d been patiently waiting for the Sully’s to show up, I’d sat with my family to keep up appearances but was too nervous to eat, I could see the small human sitting with her family looking rather upset, her eyes had been puffy like she’d been crying, and my heart sinks at the sight of her.

It doesn’t take long for someone to start the festivities with some music and dancing. Others gathered around as some told stories and I’d chosen the perfect opportunity to hide away. Waiting for the moment when Y/n separated herself from her family to go back to their marui.

As she stands up and waves at little Tuk, who’d finally left her side to go with Rotxo’s younger sisters, I take the opportunity to follow closely behind her as soon as she’s far enough from the crowd. I grasp her arm gently and she jumps as she turns.

“Have you been avoiding me?” I ask with a smirk.

“Yes.” She stated before turning around to walk away.

“Hey, whats wrong,” I follow beside her as she continues walking.

“Aren’t you supposed to be off somewhere bothering someone else?” She asks and crosses her arms while stomping closer toward the marui’s.

“Please stop.” I asked her and she does.

“I do not understand. Have I upset you?” I ask and make my way around to face her but she’s looking at the floor. I could feel my face softening at her. “Please let me fix my mistake-“

“No, you have not upset me.” She cuts me off and her words should make me happy but her refusal to look at me is not comforting.

“Then why are you avoiding me?” I asked in a serious tone. She nervously looks up at me and looks away again, sighing.

“Can we talk somewhere nobody will hear us?” She asks and I nod. Heading off toward the wooded area we had on the island. We often took fruits from here and found special things my mother uses for healing. I could hear the sounds of her feet following behind me and didn’t need to turn around to make sure she was there- she walks pretty loudly.

We manage to reach a clearing closer to the center of it all, the grass and flowers growing wildly, but not too tall, it was enough to tickle my feet but I’m sure being in the forest climate meant she’d been around grass her entire life. Just as I reach the clearing I turn and sit so she can face me, but pat the grass beside myself so she could sit by me. I felt like I needed her close, I missed her touch, her smell, her, I just really missed her. But Eywa must have been on my side because she sat where I’d instructed and it brought a small smile to my face.

“Why are you upset, little one?” I asked with genuine curiosity.

“I might say a lot of words in english, and I apologize because I don’t know the Na’Vi equivalent or it just doesn’t have a translation. But please let me talk and ask questions when I’m done.” She states and I nod giving her my undivided attention, ears flickering toward her.

“I feel guilty for what happened at the cave. Not because I got caught in a current but because of the sex, I’d never mated with Neteyam, but sex is the next best thing and I didn’t even experience that fully with him. I want to say I was under the influence of the pollen, but a part of me really wanted to please you-“ She stops as she looks directly at me and looks away rather quickly.

“I feel like I’m taking things too fast and betraying Neteyam. Lo’ak did something yesterday, something ‘Teyam always did, he put his hand on my head and wrinkled his nose, and I absolutely lost it and started crying. I’ve never felt so guilty for what I did with you, but I also enjoyed it, I feel torn, and dirty.” She hugs her knee’s close to her chest.

“I also figured once we got back here, you’d just go back to being mean and ignoring me, I didn’t know what else to do except avoid you today.”

“I’m done now,” She stated sadly and I’m bringing her onto my lap immediately, hugging her.

“I want to correct you. It is not what you did, it is what we did, I was a part of it too and I need you to know I enjoyed every second of the time we shared. I also want to stupidly point out that I did tell you I’d do anything you wanted if you made me come, and I came.” I admitted and could feel her pull away with a blush covering her face. I use my fingers to hold her chin to look directly at me, suddenly feeling bold.

“I selfishly want it to happen again, and again, and again. I can understand your guilt but moving on is a part of the healing. Trust me when I say we all miss him, you will miss him forever, I do not blame you.” I stated and lean down to capture her lips with mine, I could feel my fangs poking her a bit.

“Can I make you feel good again, little one?” I ask as I connect our foreheads together, her cute tawtute nose poking mine.

“I feel guilty for wanting to say yes,” She stated, her eyes closed tightly.

“Stop feeling guilty and allow yourself to be happy, Yawne.” I mumble.

“Yes, yes I want you to make me feel good,” She whispers with her eyes still closed and I smile. Leaning down to kiss her again, carefully caressing her hips with one hand and her cheek with the other, sure it was an awkward angle but I didn’t mind.

In the midst of our make out I swipe my tongue on her bottom lip and she accepts by opening her mouth. Her tongue was soft against mine and allowed me dominance. She moans into the kiss grinding herself on me and I bite back a groan.

I remembered the way her shirt comes off and reach around to untie it as I kiss her jawline, managing to slide the loops away from each other as the shirt loosens around her, I kiss down her neck and let go of the string, bringing my hands back over toward her arms where the shirt was, tugging it off of her without breaking my concentration. I take both breast into my hand and play with her nipples as I kiss her collarbones.

“Your hands feel so good,” She allows herself to moan and the sound goes straight to my cock.

“It makes me happy that I can please you with only my hands,” I speak in a much lower tone as I hungrily take in her body.

“I want you to lay down, little one, you can do that for me, can’t you?” I asked and she nods and does just that. My hand slides down to untie her tewng, throwing it off to the side to join her shirt, letting my other hand trail down her thigh, grasping it gently behind the knee, squeezing myself between her.

“I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, I’ll enjoy this way more than you will,” I kiss down her stomach, making my way down her thigh.

“Ao’nung~” She moans and I hum at her, looking up at her breathing heavily, a primal surge going through me.

I gently kiss her inner thigh from where her knee is, but end up kissing and sucking my way up her thigh, leaving marks on her as she writhes beneath me.

“Please,” She begs and I’m in awe of how raw her voice sounded.

“Please what?” I ask as I huff my breath into her cunt, knowing it drover her crazy.

“Fingers, please,” She whines and I hum.

“I was going to use my mouth,” I started and she cries out.

“Use both!”

“So demanding, Tìyawn, but we can work on your manners later.” I delve one finger inside her and feel how warm she is just as she moans for having it placed inside her.

“I love your sounds, Tìyawn,” I stated sweetly and she moans, I could watch her like this for the rest of my life and be satisfied.

“I’m going to lose my mind if I don’t taste you now, little one, forgive me if I lose my composure, yeah?” She lets out a guttural sound similar to a growl and it turns me on more. I dip my head to finally taste her, letting my tongue run all over her engorged bud and finally swallowing the first of her sweet slick.

“Don’t stop please, don’t stop-“ She mutters as her hands hold onto my hair, I let a chuckle bubble out as I continue eating her sweetness. I didn’t plan on stopping any time soon and I think she knew. I decided now would be a perfect time to stick a second finger in and she wails loudly. Had it not been for how loud everyone else was being I might have told her to hold back, but her sounds were just as addictive as her taste, and the sight before me.

“S’good, s’good, fuck, fuck-“ Her hips were snapping at their own pace as I continued.

“Holy fuckin’ shit-“ She seizes uncontrollably and my face gets covered in wet liquid, I stop and stick my face back up to see her with a confused expression on my face.

“I’m so sorry-“ She backs off of my fingers and has a hand over her face. I slide my fingers into my mouth and close my eyes as I savor the taste.

“I don’t know what that was but I want to see you do that again,” I leaned back down before she stops me.

“I want to return the favor-“ She starts.

“I said I wanted to make you feel good, not the other way around, Little one.” I kiss her as she sits up on her elbows.

“Then make me feel good, please,” She starts sitting up but I place my hand on her chest, feeling her heart almost bursting out of her chest.

“Please,” She asks again.

“You don’t ever have to beg for that Tìyawn, never.” I backed off as I untied my tewng and see her face relax.

“Look at me, pretty girl, I want to see your face.” I state as I get back down between her legs, lining myself up, pushing slightly.

She moans at the contact while biting her lip and her eyebrows bowed. I lean down to kiss her as I push in slightly and she groans.

“Does it hurt?” I asked as I stand still while inside her and she nods a little.

“Let me help you-“

“No,” She stops my hand. “It feels so good at the same time, please move,”

“Little one,” I warn but she manages to slide herself onto me, moaning as she does so while knitting her brow together, tears forming in her eyes.

“Hey,” I start to worry before she cuts me off again.

“Oh fuck s’good-“ Her eyes shut as tears stream down her face, her little hips thrusting and her sweet gummy walls clenching me tighter. “Please pleas please move, Ao, please-“

“Whatever you wish, yawntutsyìp,” I start moving my hips slow to ease her pretty cunt.

“Lay down, please, lay down!” She rushes her words and I barely understand but I stop all movement to look at her.

“What?”

“Lay down.” She states firmly and I try pulling out but she stops me. “No, lay down inside me,”

“What are you planning?” I asked her.

“Ao’nung Makto, now move.” I couldn’t help but laugh but get myself into position, she unexpectedly slides down all the way once she’s on top and she places her hands on my belly to stabilize herself while moaning.

“Oh fuck-“ She moans.

“Yes-“ I hiss and hold on to her hips, the bulge in her belly is prominent and I bite back a moan.

She surprises me by planting her feet on my hips and sliding up from my cock, and slamming herself back down and moaning incredibly loud.

“If you keep that up I won’t last long,” I admit to her feeling her warmth engulf me so well. Moaning as she slams herself back down on me, I grip her hips harsher and she moans as well.

“I’m close, Ao’nung, fuck,” She whines and slams herself back down again. The tears sliding down her face again. I allow myself to meet her thrusts and her tears stream freely and I feel something soft against my head.

“Fuck!” She yells and she comes the same way she’d done earlier. But watching, hearing, and smelling her had made me come inside her as I grasped her hips harshly. She falls straight onto my chest while I was still inside and I slide her upward so I can slip out of her.

“What was that?” I ask her calmly after I’d caught my breath.

“It’s called squirting, it happens when someone is being pleasured very well.” She speaks into my chest out of embarrassment.

“Ao’nung makto?” I ask and laugh after the words leave my lips.

“I can’t think well in Na’Vi when I’m distracted.” She admits and I gently pet her hair.

“Do we have to keep hiding this from the others?” She asks and I knew what she meant. “I did it with Neteyam for a while, I can hide things well-“

“No, little one, theres no need to hide it.”

“So we can tell your mom?”

“Okay, maybe hide it from some people,” I agreed and she laughs a little.

__________

“I told you I could walk on my own,” I laughed as he holds me like a child, I assume my height plays along with that, I held our clothes on my hands and they covered me from the cold winds of the night.

“But I like carrying you, my prize, my little tawtute,” He smiles happily as we walk closer toward the shores of the sea, I toss our clothes near the dry sand as he steps into the sea.

“Is the water cold?” I asked as he steps in further.

“A little, but if it gets to be too much I could always hug you again,” He offers and the water touches my toes, causing me to yelp, pulling my feet back up and he chuckles.

“No wait, maybe I want to smell like you-“ I started before he steps over once more and my body is submerged in the cool water. I pop up from the water and start shivering.

“Sorry-“ He laughs as he watches me struggle to wrap my arms around myself in an attempt to warm up. “-theres a slope right here, I didn’t do that on purpose Tiyawn.”

“Come here,” I said and spread my arms out for him to fit around. As he swims over I push his head down under water and laugh as he comes back up.

He tugs me closer to him and kisses my face all over. Holding me by my waist.

“We should get back to our marui’s soon-“ I admit but he places his hand on my lips gently to shush me.

“My mom knows theres someone I’m trying to impress so she’s not expecting me back any time soon.”

“Are you seriously that horny?” I asked and he seems to bite his lip as his eyes widened and this is the first time I’d seen him look anything like Tsireya.

“Ao’nung-“ I state and he smiles.

“What was that word you used earlier?” He asks and seems to find it before I could think. “Have you ever had sex in the water before?” He asks.

“You’re ready to go? Already?” I asked in disbelief as he trails one hand down my spine, the other holding my bum.

“I’m sure you know this but we like to fuck several times a night with our mate.” He whispers in my ear and I could feel a sudden tingle in my pussy, I let out a short and quick sigh.

“As long as you take it slow, I’m a little sore from before-“

“We don’t have to, Tìyawn.”

“Believe me, I want to, you just have to go slow.” I kiss him feverishly.

[cantareincminor]

SxF Chapter 102 -- Love and War

As personally tragic as the current Spy x Family manga arc is, I feel it's one of the most powerful yet. To me, it's on par with Twilight's backstory, maybe even surpassing it. It encases the themes of the senselessness of war and blind hatred of the "other" within a tale of star-crossed lovers whom the audience has come to care about as secondary characters. It carries subtle foreboding for our main characters, Twilight and Yor, though it's never directly stated. I hold out hope that at some point in a future chapter, Twilight or Yor will have a life-changing conversation with one of these wise elderly mentor figures, when one of them is at a personal low point and has to decide whether their (hopefully almost real by then) marriage is worth fighting for.

That is good storytelling. Richly layered like a Lady M cake.

One of the messages that struck me was the non-love triangle between Martha, Henry, and Lucia. It could have easily become a love triangle in another author's hands, or in a different genre. Or in a fanfic written by Becky Blackbell, lol. The panels of Martha's heart and dreams shattering into pieces after meeting Lucia were utterly devastating. It was her lowest point.

But she didn't stay there. She didn't seek revenge or to be a homewrecker (that's a no-no, young miss), she didn't fall into bitterness and break off all ties with Henry and Lucia, she didn't stop living her life. She danced ballet again even though her injuries from the war hindered her. She danced in tears, with a broken heart, but she still danced. And she danced with Henry and Lucia as her staunchest supporters in the audience. She didn't push their kindness away or close herself off from them.

The panels below moved me so much. The detail is small, but Lucia is crying. Tears of joy are falling down her face as she watches Martha dance on the stage.

Lucia came from a privileged family, one of the so-called "elites" that Becky quite hilariously disparages, but they were a family that sought to rebuild the country and heal people from the war. And that healing starts with individuals like Martha. Lucia had to have figured out at some point, whether directly or indirectly from Henry or Martha, that the two of them had a history together. That if not for the war, Henry very well may have become Martha's husband instead. Lucia might even have felt sad or guilty for being "that woman," an interloper between star-crossed lovers. She too had the chance to push Martha away or distance herself from her husband's past so as to feel more secure about herself. But she didn't do that. She embraced Martha with open arms and supported her dreams. She loved her as a friend, so deeply that she cried at her ballet performance. Martha loved her so deeply in return that even 15 years after her death, she continues to bring flowers to her grave. Not even Henry brought flowers in the end panels of this chapter.

This is the kind of love that heals nations after a devastating war. Even though the three people in this scenario are all Ostanians, this is still the same kind of love with the power to heal the deepest wounds. What wound can be deeper than losing the love of your life to someone else? And yet all three of them make the best of the situation and find the courage to reach out to each other instead of turning away, lashing out, or living in denial or unresolved bitterness.

Endo is showing us through the heartbreaking, heartwarming stories of these individual characters what the path to prevent the next war is. To be wounded by others and have our hearts broken, whether romantically or through betrayal by friends and family or through the callous actions of the ruling class, is an unavoidable part of life. But how we choose to react to that hurt makes all the difference.

This is why I made forgiveness and reconciliation the core theme of my fic Orpheus. To me, it remains the most powerful theme of all in storytelling, because it is the hardest thing for a human soul to do. It takes incredible courage, and it requires metaphorical death. To die to oneself, as Christ says, to take up the cross, the instrument of your own execution, and to pay the cost of someone else's wrongdoing even if you had no part in it. The alternative is to make the other person pay---which feeds the cycle of violence and retribution, at the most extreme on a national level---or to bury it deep inside and cut yourself off from a chance at real human relationships. All relationships involve risk. The deeper the relationship, the greater the risk.

I am so grateful for this magnificent arc in the manga. I can't wait to see what Endo has in store for us next, and how he will tie in the broader story of our main cast into the lessons from Martha and Henry's love. Because it's still love, even if they never acted on it romantically. Given their circumstances, it's an even purer love for the fact that they didn't.

[akutasoda]

title - 'holding out both my hands / over fire, over flames / just to keep you safe'

╰➜they've been very busy lately but you hesitantly ask them to do a task, underestimating just how much they would actually do for you

dedicated to - fyodor dostoevsky

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, maybe ooc??, some angst maybe?, sonnet length - 771

a/n: request by an anon!! also what a wild new chapter-

you never really knew what fyodor did. you could catch him staring at an unnecessary amount of screens quite regularly, sometimes you even sat beside him, but even then you couldn't actually piece together what exactly he was doing. sometimes he even disappeared for a while and would come back with little to no explanation - even if you asked questions, he'd brush you off and ask about your day to clearly change the subject.

eventually, you had accepted the fact that you might not ever know what your lover did for a living. it didn't exactly bother you or weigh heavy on your conscience, you could still happily go about your day without that knowledge but sometimes that curiosity really ate away. occasionally you'd try guessing as a joke because you knew that even if you guessed correctly, he'd tell you the opposite.

but the one thing you did know for sure was that recently fyodor had been extremely irritable, stressed even. he always seemed to have a sour expression on his face - one that probably looked no different to his usual expression but you knew otherwise. some days he even looked rather amused which made you quite confused, and in honesty, a tad bit scared as you could take a guess that a more sinister intention was behind his amusement.

fyodor no longer encouraged you to keep him company, he made himself even more scarce and when you did see him, it was for short periods of time and he always seemed rather distant. begrudgingly, you were content to let him do what he was doing as even if you tried, you knew you wouldn't be able to get through to him.

although his change in mood seemed to last longer than you both anticipated. eventually, something had abruptly come up for you. with everything you had going on in your life as well, it really threw you and you struggled to find a way to actually get round to it anytime soon. the only possible thing you could think of is asking someone else to run an errand for you so you had more time.

but currently the only person who you could see agreeing was fyodor. the same fyodor who currently was very distant and almost unapproachable. he had helped you out before but that was when he was as normal as he could be, so you really hesitated to ask him now. however, after a long while of contemplating your options, you tried to clear any hesitancy left in your mind and reluctantly made your way to your lover.

“fyodor?” you nervously called out, he was yet again focused on those ungodly amount of screens but he seemed to turn his attention to you almost immediately after hearing your voice

“is something the matter?” his response showed no indication of his mood being improved lately and know you were really hesitating to ask him

“i… could you…” he could tell immediately from the fact that you had started fidgeting and kept changing your words that you wanted to ask him something. what it was, he really didn't know but it wouldn't take an idiot to figure that you were so unsure about asking.

he waited patiently for you to try and form words but when it became clear that you weren't getting anywhere anytime soon, he questioned “if there's something you need me to do, i can do it”

this caught you slightly off guard but it gave you the slightest bit of ease to manage to tell him that you needed a slight bit of help and needed him to run a quick errand for you. he looked at you before standing up and making his way over.

fyodor took your hands into his as he smiled at you with the most amount of tenderness you had ever seen from him.

“such a small task wouldn't even pale in comparison to what i truly would do for you, consider it done already”

you still looked rather unsure about it and so he continued because he could take a guess for the reason behind your uncertainty.

“no matter what state i may be in, physically or mentally, if you asked me to do anything i would do it. there is nothing you can ask of me at any time that i wouldn't do for you”.

[doomhands-jr]

The Devil's Advocate - Chapter 4

Noah Sebastian X Reader

Noah is a delinquent with a lot of anger at the church. You're a pastor's daughter plagued by moral perfectionism, charged with overseeing the community service he's been sentenced to complete. You've never encountered true temptation before. How will you fare up against Noah, who not only isn't bound by the same rules of purity as you, but actively scoffs at them?

Rating: 18+ Minors DNI Warnings: Blow job, drug use, swearing, angst, noah getting humbled

Masterlist

Banner by @flowerynerds

________

“Fuck,” Noah whispered. “Just like that.”

Noah couldn’t remember who was sucking his dick. He could barely remember how he got upstairs. He thought her name might begin with an S? Maybe? But her mouth was so warm and inviting. And wet. And when she hummed, it vibrated.

His head lolled to the side. Had the couch always been this soft?

She pulled off him with a “pop” and stroked his shaft a few times.

“Mmmm,” he hummed, letting out a soft giggle and allowing his lids to close.

He’d have to ask Jolly what that pill was. He wanted to feel like this all the time.

“You like that?” the girl asked. What the fuck was her name? Sarah? No… Savannah? Something like that. She looked up at him and he didn’t think he’d ever seen a face more vibrant or beautiful than hers.

Except for maybe yours. But he didn’t want to think about that, because it was bringing down his vibe, and he had someone right in front of him who was so, so beautiful, and whose mouth was the warmest mouth he’d ever felt in his life.

“Yeah,” he said, marveling at the tingling sensation in his fingertips as he rubbed them together, paying special attention to the calluses on his fingers. She squeezed his dick again and his focus was brought back to her. “Do it again please?”

She enveloped the head of his dick in her mouth once more. He didn’t think she could get a tighter seal around him. His eyes rolled back. Noah was certain if she kept up at this rate, she’d rid him of whatever negative energy dwelled in his body, and he’d walk away an enlightened man.

“You’re so fuckin’ warm,” he muttered, noticing for the first time that his own voice carried many layers to it. He hummed out a note, feeling his vocal folds vibrate with such a pleasant intensity that he forgot all about the woman whose mouth he was currently in and began practicing his vocal warmups. He could hear his voice getting better in real time.

“They’re right,” he giggled between warmups.. “I should do my vocal exercises more. These are great.”

The woman said something that Noah didn’t catch, but his awareness was once again brought to his dick, and this time, his focus was locked in. All the sudden, he was on a sensation train that was approaching its crescendo. When it did, Noah’s body blasted into a liminal space, where he was met with a wave of warm, glowing light.

Was he crying? He thought he might have been crying, but he didn’t know what about. Surely it was nothing sad, because no sadness could exist here. He was wrapped in pure love and light.

“It’s like heaven,” he slurred.

And then his body slipped away and he was nothing more than divine consciousness, floating in the ether.

_____________

“Noah!”

Someone was shooting off fireworks in the hallway.

No, that wouldn’t make sense.

Someone was knocking on the door. His eyelids were too heavy for him to lift.

“Noah, wake up, man.”

He vaguely registered the sound of the door opening. “Aw, gross! Get your pasty ass off Jolly’s couch.”

Noah groaned, feeling for the waistband of his boxers, realizing they were still pulled down around his ankles.

“What happened?” he rasped out. His throat was beyond dry. His head pounded with every pulse.

“You tell me. Last thing I remember is you disappearing with that Tiffany chick.”

Noah’s eyes flew open. “Tiffany?” He scrubbed a palm over his face. That girl had been after him for months. Showed up to every party and clung to him like a barnacle on the side of a boat. Always interjected herself into conversations and has cockblocked him on more than one occasion. Despite actively ignoring her when she’s around, she never took the hint to leave him alone.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “Why did you let me go upstairs with her?” he asked, finally looking up to see Ruffilo standing above him with his hands on his hips, looking very much like a disappointed mother.

“It’s not my job to babysit you, dude. Plus, you insisted it was fine.”

Noah rolled over and clenched his throat to stop himself from hurling.

“How much did I drink?” he rasped out.

“I don’t know. But whatever you took clearly didn’t mix well with it.”

“No shit,” he said, rolling off the couch. His knees smacked against the hardwood floor, the impact ricocheting up to his head, forcing him into a wince.

“Can you please put some pants on?” his friend said, rolling his eyes as he turned his back toward Noah.

With great effort, Noah hoisted himself off the floor and into a semi-standing position so he could pull his boxers and jeans back up.

“My eyes are killing me,” he croaked.

“Yeah, no shit dude. You still have those weird-ass things in.”

Noah stumbled across the hall to the bathroom, the acrid feeling of bile crawled its way up his chest, intensifying the closer he got. He threw the toilet lid and seat back, knees hitting tile as he curled over the lip of the bowl to vomit the remainder of last night’s drinks. 

His head pounded, every heave forcing blood up into his face, the vessels in his eyes straining under the pressure.

“Help me get these out,” he sputtered between heaving breaths, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. He rolled over to lean his back against the vanity unit, hands falling into his lap as he worked to catch his breath.

“Let me see,” Ruffilo sighed cupping his chin with one hand to tilt it back into the light. He took care to wash his hands before he made any attempt to touch the massive black contacts that spanned the entirety of his friend’s eyes.

“Ow, fuck!” Noah shouted, causing his head to ache with his own volume. “Don’t use your nail, asshole!”

“Sorry dude,” his friend said, not an ounce of sympathy in his tone. “This shit’s hard to do. Hold still.”

With careful precision, Nick maneuvered the large disc around until he found purchase on it.  Pinching it between his thumb and forefinger,  he gently peeled  it out to reveal Noah’s bloodshot eyes.. After doing the same with the second, he tossed both in the trash, then stood to wash his hands once more. “Damn,” said Noah. “I liked those. I wanted to use them for more shows.”

“We’ll get you new ones,” said Nick. He grabbed an empty Solo cup on the sink counter, rinsing it out before filling it with cool tap water. He handed it to Noah before lowering himself to the ground, sighing as he leaned against the opposite wall. “Sip slowly, or you’ll throw up again.” Gingerly, Noah raised the cup to his lips.

Ruffilo was not easily affected by the actions of others. In fact, he had a calming disposition that set many at ease. But at that moment, Noah could feel his friend’s gaze burning a hole into him. He stared at the rim of his cup, the acrid feeling returning as he did everything to avoid looking at Nick.

“You okay, man?” The pity in his friend’s tone sat like a brick in Noah’s gut.“I’ve never seen you get that fucked up before. What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You can’t be doing that shit,” Nick said, crossing his arms over his chest and clicking his tongue against his teeth.. “Do you even know what you took?”

Noah paused for a moment. Scenes from the previous night flashed through his memory: the red lump on your cheekbone, the slight gasp that left your lungs when he parted your legs, the absence of your warmth after you left.

“No,” Noah rasped out, leaning his head back against the counter and closing his eyes.

“That’s not like you, man.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Come on,” he sighed, grabbing Noah under the arm to lift him off the floor. “Let’s get you home and in bed.”

“Thanks,” said Noah. He brought his hand up to comb his fingers through his hair and found the demon horns still on his head. A bitter taste coated his tongue and he ripped them off, chucking them in the trash.

It took a monumental effort for Noah to stagger the six blocks to his house. The sun was far too bright and the traffic was much too loud. Even with Ruffilo helping him, he struggled to keep his balance and had to pause halfway through to vomit into a set of bushes lining the street.

He didn't know when he fell asleep. One moment, he was collapsing onto his bed, and the next, he woke to the sound of something hitting his nightstand. On a tray sat a mug of coffee, scrambled eggs and toast, with two painkillers on a napkin. Ruffilo was already on his way out the door when Noah spoke.

“Thanks man,” He managed to mutter. “I owe you one.”

“This is done on the condition that we talk about it when you’re ready.”

Noah sighed, jaw clenching. “I know. Just not today.”

________

Halfway through Noah’s day-long hangover nap, he was woken up by another knocking. This time, when he opened his eyes, he found none other than the drummer of his band looking like the cat that caught the canary.

Nick sidled past him, inviting himself into Noah’s room, tossing a wad of cash down onto Noah’s bed before turning to face him.

“Here you go, killer. You earned it.”

“What are you talking about?” Noah muttered, consciousness slowly growing clearer as he struggled to wake up. His head felt like it was in a vise.

“I saw you and the virgin Mary go into your studio last night. When she came back out, she looked absolutely wrecked,” he said, snickering to himself. He shook his head in disbelief. “I don’t know how you did it, but damn. I never thought that chick would put out. Her friend was a pretty good consolation prize though, I have to say.”

Noah grabbed the wad of cash and threw it violently back at his friend.

“Whoa,” Nick said, head pulling back defensively. “What was that for?”

“Man, fuck off. I told you I wasn’t part of that.”

“You still won,” said Nick with a shrug. “I’m a man of my word. Should have tried a little harder with her last night, but her friend was practically beggin’ for it the whole time.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Noah was aware that he should exit this conversation. But in the moment, his stomach rolled with a heavy mixture of shame and anger that he couldn’t digest, so he spat it at Nick.

“You’re a fucking bottom feeder, man.”

“That’s rich, coming from you,” Nick bit back, unflinching as if he’d been waiting. “Don’t sit there on your high fuckin’ horse, acting like you’re better than everyone when you did the same thing to Tiffany, knowing how down bad she is for you. Grow a spine and reject the girl so she can move on.” 

Noah squeezed his eyes together and rubbed his temples.

He knew he’d run out of defenses, and hated that Nick was right, but his brain had only just started thawing out from the onslaught of chemicals he’d fed it, and the last thing he needed was a lecture.

“Man, just get out. I’m not in the mood, okay?”

“Clearly, since you’re fucking being a little bitch today.” His eyebrows and jaw were hard set, but when Noah finally locked on to his stare, Nick must have seen the defeat in his eyes, because he began to soften.

“Get some sleep, man. We’ll talk about it later.”

“Thanks.”

__________________

Normally, Noah didn’t mind his job at the factory too much. It was repetitive, which was boring, but also regulating. It allowed him to move on autopilot while he wrote music in his head.

Today though, as the remnants of his headache clung to his periphery - he was Sisyphus, and the lathe was his boulder.

Worse though, whatever he had taken at the party had dumped all the serotonin and dopamine from his system, and there was nothing left to get him through the day.

“This,” he muttered to himself, barely audible over the whirring of the machines surrounding him, “this is why I don’t do drugs.”

He’d known this would happen even before he took them, but at the time he didn’t care. He was focused on escaping from the reality of his situation. It worked for the night, until that reality came back with a vengeance.

His confidence was shaken. He’d been so sure that you wanted him in that moment. He’d have bet all the cash Nick had tried to throw at him that you wanted him. But when you were an inch away, just barely in his grasp, you shot him down and left. And here he was, tearing his hair out because he could not, for the life of him, figure out why.

Maybe you just couldn't accept his feelings about religion. Your beliefs were so important to you, and he wouldn’t be surprised if it was something you just couldn’t get past. Like you’d mentioned earlier that night, the whole evening was out of your comfort zone, you were overwhelmed by it all. Perhaps you just weren’t ready.

But maybe he was overthinking everything. Maybe inviting you into his world was a bad decision.

No God. No religion. 

Just bad, bad decisions. 

He scrawled the words into the margins of  the notebook used to write down measurements for whatever the fuck parts he had to check for inaccuracies. For the rest of the day, the words ran through his head over and over again like a mantra, following the rhythmic clunk of the factory machines. He fished the silver ring out of his pocket and fidgeted with it for the hundredth time since you left the studio. It barely fit past the first knuckle on his pinky finger, but every time he touched it, it felt a little easier to breathe.

______________

“So, I feel like I owe you an apology,” he said, taking a sip from his coffee. “Several apologies, actually.”

“Okay,” Tiffany said, sitting across from him at the small bistro table in the corner of the local coffee shop Noah frequented.

His stomach clenched. He’d been nervous for the last few days leading up to this conversation, but it was time for him to stop being a coward and settle the matter.

Tiffany was not an unattractive woman. She had long blonde hair that she wore in loose waves. She was on the thicker side, which Noah liked. He could see himself being attracted to her if their personalities meshed.

Tiffany’s fatal flaw was that she tried too hard. Noah preferred to do the chasing. And he probably wouldn’t have ended up chasing after her regardless, and so he understood that she felt the need to chase after him if she liked him, but he had no inkling of feelings for her.

“First, I wanted to apologize for last Saturday. I wasn’t in the best state of mind, and I shouldn’t have invited you upstairs.”

“Yeah,” she said, crossing her arms in front of her. “That became clear when you started doing vocal warmups mid-blowjob.”

Noah snorted into his coffee. He forgot about that.

“I’m sorry,” he said, unable to bite back his grin.

Her tough façade cracked into a smile. “No worries. In hindsight, it’s pretty funny.”

“Okay, so question then,” He shifted in his seat, leaning forward to place his elbows on the table. “If you knew I wasn’t sober, why did you continue?”

“I didn’t,” she said. “As soon as I realized you weren’t right, I stopped.”

Noah looked at her, taken aback. “You left?”

She nodded.

“You mean I didn’t…I could have swore…,” he trailed off.

“Don’t get me wrong. I was excited about the idea of hooking up with you, but not like that.”

Noah looked at Tiffany with a newfound respect. Perhaps he had misjudged her.

“Secondly,” he continued, “I wanted to apologize for never making my intentions clear. I feel like I led you on and allowed you to have hope because I was afraid of confrontation. That wasn’t cool of me. I should have told you from the beginning that I wasn’t interested.”

“Ouch,” she said, wincing slightly, “but thanks.”

He shook his head. “Why are you thanking me?”

“I don’t know,” she said, drumming her fingers on the table.. “You probably don’t deserve it, but honestly I’d rather you be straightforward with me so I can actually move on. It takes a lot of energy to walk away from something you want if you still think there might be a little hope. I probably would have wasted a lot of time.”

His stomach began to feel the weight of his actions. Tiffany’s only crime was not deciphering the vague signals he’d given her, and yet he’d treated her like a pariah, going so far as to badmouth her to his bandmates. And for what? Because she refused to give up hope until she received a solid answer?

He’d been an even bigger asshole than he’d realized.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.”

Tiffany looked at Noah with a face that hinted at pity. Perhaps she saw the inner battle he was having with himself.

“Why did you take me upstairs?” she asked.

Noah felt like he owed her the truth. He didn’t have romantic feelings for Tiffany, but he did like her. And there was something about her that made him want to trust her. Perhaps it was how she’d prioritized his consent, despite her feelings for him. Or maybe the way she’d responded to him when he told her he wasn’t interested took the edge off his nervous system. He didn’t realize how much he enjoyed that feeling.

Noah launched into the story, telling Tiffany about how you’d met, your differences in beliefs, how you’d wound up at that party, what happened during the set, and how it had played out in the studio afterwards.

Once he finished his retelling, Tiffany narrowed her eyes at him.

“Do you always react so poorly when you get rejected?”

“What do you mean?” asked Noah.

“Like, after a girl rejects you, do you binge drink and take unknown drugs and hook up with other people? Is that how you handle it every time?”

Noah shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Wait. Is this your first time being rejected?” she asked in disbelief.

He took another sip of his coffee, ran his tongue along the top row of his teeth, and then gave the tiniest of nods.

Without hesitation, Tiffany burst out laughing.

“I’m so sorry,” she rushed to clarify, holding her hands in front of her as if to pause the conversation. “This is so inappropriate and I shouldn’t be laughing. Forgive me.”

She didn’t stop laughing despite her apology.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll wait,” Noah said, snark creeping into his voice.

“This feels really great to hear, honestly. I know it sucks for you, but I’m absolutely loving it.”

“Can you not rub it in my face, please?” he asked.

Tiffany did her best to calm her laughter and then smiled genuinely across the table at him.

“Noah, being rejected is not the worst thing that can happen. Trust me. I’ve been rejected many times. It builds character and toughens you up. Plus, I think your ego could use it. You’re totally full of yourself.”

“How so?” he said.

“Oh, I don’t know. Didn’t you say you were going to fight god a few weekends ago during your set?”

Noah chewed on his lip. “That was performative.”

“It comes from somewhere.”

“Not necessarily true.”

“Noah, come on,” she said, fixing him with an imploring stare. “Be for real right now. You got rejected one time and you completely lost your shit. Total self-sabotage. Do you know how many girls you’ve rejected? A lot. And we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and keep fighting the good fight, because shit happens.”

Noah, mid-humbling, stayed quiet and let her continue. As uncomfortable as it was to acknowledge his shortcomings, it was also refreshing to hear. He’d never experienced a lecture from a loving mother, but he imagined this was what it felt like.

“Plus,” Tiffany continued, “it sounds like she didn’t even reject you. She just wasn’t ready to fuck you in that moment. And why would she? Considering how you’d treated her.”

“How did I treat her?” he asked. He thought he’d been kind. Certainly more attentive than he’d been to other women in his life.

“I mean, do you even like her?”

“Of course!”

“Really? Because it doesn’t sound like it. You sent her into a mosh pit totally unprepared and let her get hit in the face.”

Noah winced. He did do that. It hadn’t even crossed his mind to mention it to you.

“You didn’t warn her about the content of your music and allowed yourself to get peer-pressured into playing a song that deliberately shits on everything important to her,” she continued. “And what? You’re surprised she doesn’t want to give up her virginity after a month of knowing you?”

Noah had to sit back after what felt like a massive blow to the center of his chest.

“I put more effort in with her than I have with anyone else,” he said, feebly trying to defend himself, though he knew he had no defense to stand on.

“Are you honestly telling me that was the best you could do?”

Noah didn’t answer, reluctant to say the words out loud, and Tiffany sighed. 

“Look. If you really like the girl, go earn her.”

Noah fidgeted with the sleeve on the paper to-go cup. The concept of earning someone’s affection was new to him. He’d always been on the receiving end.

“How do I do that?”

Tiffany blinked back at him. “I mean, it’s not really my job to figure that out for you. I’m already giving you more emotional labor than I owe. But if you’re asking me, I’d start by figuring out why her faith is so important to her, rather than focusing on how you can get her to abandon it so you can sleep with her.”

“Ouch. I mean you’re right, but do you have to be so mean about it?”

“Trust me Noah, I’m doing you a kindness.”

He exhaled heavily through his nostrils, realizing that the magic pill to fix his problems was indeed, the toughest to swallow.

“Thank you,” he said, meeting her eyes again. “I appreciate you saying this to me.”

Tiffany nodded. “You’re welcome.”

“Can we be friends?” he asked. He meant it. Tiffany was clearly a positive influence in his life, and even if he didn’t want to be with her romantically, he still wanted her around in some way.

“No,” she said flatly. Noah’s face fell. “At least… not right now. This conversation helped, but I still need to lick my wounds. It isn’t fun being rejected, after all.”

“You can say that again,” he said.

“We can be friendly, though. I’ll still come to your shows because despite all your shortcomings, I unfortunately like your music.”

He chuckled, finding Tiffany’s candor refreshing. “You’re really enjoying the opportunity to insult me, aren’t you?”

“I really am,” she said, grinning from ear to ear. He saw a glimpse of the beauty he’d been so focused on in his drug-induced state. She truly was prettier than he’d given her credit for.

“I hope you find someone better than me,” he said. “I want you to be happy. You deserve a good guy.”

“Thank you,” she said, softer than before and he could tell she believed him.

Noah paid for both their coffees. It was the least he could do. They parted with a warm handshake that Noah had the urge to turn into a hug, but he could tell from her body language she wouldn’t want it.

For the first time since the party, he felt a little lighter in his chest. He fished around in his pocket for the silver ring, hooking it onto his pinky finger and rubbing his thumb along the “true love waits” inscription he’d memorized earlier. __________

Waking up on Sunday was an ordeal. You hadn’t even been drinking, but it still felt as if you’d had a stimulation hangover. Your ears rang from all the noise, and there was a deep pressure behind your eyes from all the crying you’d done.

You wiped away the crust from your eyelids and were immediately met with tenderness at your temple.

Oh, yeah. You’d been elbowed in the face last night.

Crawling down from your bed, you made your way over to the mirror above your desk to see just how bad it was. An ugly, angry red lump with purpled edges glared back at you.

The rest of your face hadn’t fared much better. Your makeup was smudged all around your eyes and your lipstick smeared down your chin.

You’d slept in your clothes, having been too exhausted to change into anything else when you got back around at around two in the morning.

The alarm on your phone rang, signaling it was time to get ready for church.

You sank down into your desk chair, having no motivation for anything.

You never skipped church unless you were sick. One of the things you prided yourself most on was your regular attendance. Plus, church was where you did all your socializing. All of your friends went. It wasn’t just church you liked, it was going out to lunch afterwards with everyone. It was treating yourself to a luxurious coffee drink beforehand. It was dressing up in your favorite outfits and performing on stage. And it was the satisfaction of knowing God was pleased with you.

Was God still pleased with you?

You stared at the lump on your head.

You’d resisted temptation. That didn’t count for nothing. You’d also allowed the situation to go much further than you should have, but you still listened to your gut when it told you to get out of there. That was enough of a success in your book.

Your thoughts drifted to Noah.

He’d been so forward last night, truly put himself out there, and had looked so dejected when you’d pulled away. But then again, hadn’t he said a few weeks ago that it was important to risk rejection? He seemed aware of what the stakes were.

You didn’t know exactly why you pulled away at that moment. Something told you it wasn’t the right time, but part of you worried that you wouldn’t get another opportunity like the one you’d had, and that perhaps you ruined your chances with him.

Maybe you did? Was that the worst thing?

Perhaps this was God’s way of telling you that Noah was not the right person for you. And if that was the case, you would need to get over the idea of him so you could continue to interact with him at community service without getting hurt.

You kicked your foot up on the desk in front of you and leaned your chair back, staring up at the ceiling and trying to find the central point of balance.

It was 10:30. If you were going to make it to church, you’d have to get up now and start getting ready. You’d have to leave no later than 10:45 to make it to the 11:00 service on time.

You continued to balance on the back legs of your chair, seeing if you could get it to balance on its own for five seconds.

10:45 came and went, and you did not leave your chair. You couldn’t make it to five seconds without it tipping, but you made it to four and a half before you gave up and went back to bed.

__________

You were awoken by a rapt knocking at your door. It definitely wasn’t your roommate, Stevie. She went home every weekend and didn’t come back until late in the evening.

You rolled out of bed and looked at the clock - 1:00 PM. Yawning off the remaining sleep, you opened the door. The first thing your eyes landed on was the white, deep v-neck that gave a peek to a tanned chest.

“Isaac? What are you doing here?” you asked. Isaac had walked you to your dorm before on nights when practice ended late and he insisted it was inappropriate to allow you to walk home alone, but he had never visited you before.

“I wanted to check on you. Can I come in?” he asked.

“Sure,” you said, hesitantly moving aside to let him through. Once inside, he leaned against your desk, crossing his arms as he observed you.

“So…,” you trailed off, sitting on your bed cross-legged.

“You weren’t in church today.” It was not an observation, but an accusation, and it immediately set your nerves on guard.

“Yeah,” you said, keeping your tone even. “I didn’t feel great.”

“Are you hungover?”

“No. I didn’t drink.”

He fixed you with a stare that let you know he didn’t believe you. You met his eyes, unwilling to back down.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He shrugged, likely figuring he wouldn’t get more out of you.

“Do you know where Ava is?” he asked. “She didn’t come either.”

“She didn’t?” This was news to you. You’d looked for her briefly after you’d left but had been unsuccessful in finding her and assumed she’d gone home.

“What happened last night? You look like you’ve been through it.” He stepped closer, eyes scanning up and down your face.

Instinctively, your hand went up to touch the bruise and Isaac’s eyes narrowed.

“It was just a mosh pit,” you said.

“Yeah?” he asked, tone laced with suspicion. “Is that why your purity ring is gone?”

You checked your hand to see it was, indeed, gone. Left in Noah’s back pocket. You sighed and tipped over sideways onto the bed.

“I lost it. But not like that,” you said.

“Sure,” he said, absolutely not believing you. You’d never been seen without the ring, and it was unlikely that it slipped off.

“I didn’t do anything,” you said.

“What is ‘anything’ to you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Okay, look. I don’t owe you this information and it is in no way your job to make sure I’m pure, but I didn’t even kiss anyone last night. I seriously just lost the ring.”

Isaac’s eyebrow lifted up and he pursed his lips, staring you down to see if he could detect any signs of falsehood and when he found none, he deflated.

“Alright,” he said. “But in the future, could you not stay out so late? It was hard to carry the praise and worship service without you and Ava.”

“Sorry,” you said. “I’ll be there next week.”

“Promise?” he asked.

“Promise.”

“So how was the party?” he asked.

“Honestly?” you asked. He nodded. “Not great. Definitely not my scene. I got full-on elbowed in the face. Plus, everyone there was drunk and I couldn’t relate to anyone.”

You could tell Isaac was enjoying hearing your confession, the look in his eye now sporting a condescending glint. But, to his credit, he refrained from giving you any sort of ‘I told you so’ kind of lecture. After a beat of silence though, he started to chuckle at your misfortune.

“Does this feel good to hear?” you asked. He smiled in return and it was genuine.

Isaac wasn’t terrible. He seemed to truly care about you, and though he could be intrusive and overbearing at times, his heart was in the right place.

“Alright. I think I’m gonna let you get some more sleep,” he said after several minutes of catching up, tapping a knuckle on your desk to punctuate his visit. “I’d like to meet sometime this week to go over this Christmas showcase. Thursday night good for you?”

You nodded. “Thanks Isaac.”

You puffed out a mouthful of air as soon as you heard the door close, feeling like you’d just been the subject of an interrogation. It was clear now that your actions were being watched. Anything out-of-character could easily be reported back to your father, and while Isaac let you off the hook easily this time, you couldn’t be so sure he would continue if your behavior turned into a pattern.

You’d have to tread much more carefully if you wanted to fly under the radar.

_______________

The week passed quickly. Ava hadn’t returned any of your texts and you grew worried, but figured she would talk to you whenever she was ready. You wondered if something had happened at the party. Was she upset with you? Was she avoiding you?

Thursday’s meeting went well enough. Isaac had a lot of good ideas about the songs he wanted to perform and how to get the word out about it. The two of you worked closely together and you were starting to wonder if perhaps you’d judged Isaac too harshly for his actions the other week.

It was possible that Noah was just a distraction after all. Someone that helped you shake some of your delusions about Isaac so you could see him as an actual person instead of putting him on such a pedestal—because now that you interacted with each other as equals, he wasn’t all that bad. He was actually easy to get along with.

He didn’t give you that warm pooling sensation in your lower abdomen that Noah gave you, but connecting with him was enjoyable. You could see yourself working well as partners together.

“So you’re going to have to take the solo for Mary Did You Know, as well as O Holy Night,” he said. “You’re our top soprano.”

“Got it,” you said with a curt nod. “Are you going to do O Come O Come Emmanuel?”

“You know it,” he said, grinning proudly. His voice had a great timbre for that one and he knew it.

“Is Ava going to be participating?” you asked.

Isaac sighed. “I haven’t been able to get ahold of her.”

“Me either. I’m starting to get concerned.”

“If she doesn’t show up at church again on Sunday, maybe we should visit her,” he suggested.

“I think that would make me feel better,” you agreed.

As it turned out, however, you didn’t have to wait for Sunday. Ava was waiting outside your dorm when you got back from your meeting with Isaac.

“Hey,” she said, sitting with her knees curled up in front of her. She wore baggy sweatpants and an oversize hoodie.

“Hey,” you said. “Stevie’s home. If you want to talk privately, we should probably go for a walk or something.”

Nodding, she stood up.

You had walked out your dorm hall and halfway down the block before she got the nerve to speak.

“Sorry for being MIA,” she said, hands pushed deep in the pockets of her hoodie.

“Everything okay?” you asked.

“I think,” she replied. “I just needed some time to sort my feelings out.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked. She nodded.

“What happened on Saturday? I couldn’t find you anywhere.” You tried to keep any judgment out of your tone.

“I had more to drink than I meant to,” she began. “I didn’t know my tolerance.”

“That’s an easy mistake to make, especially for your first time drinking,” you said.

“Yeah, but that’s not all that happened.”

The two of you had reached the edge of campus. A left turn would lead you past the party house. A right turn would lead you to the church grounds.

You let Ava take the lead, patiently waiting while she weighed her options.

She turned left. You nodded and continued walking with her.

“I want you to know that I don’t regret any of my decisions,” she prefaced. “I just had some complicated feelings about it.”

“Of course,” you said.

“Nick and I hooked up on Saturday night.”

Your footsteps faltered, but you recovered quickly. “How far did you go?”

“We had sex.”

Your breath caught in your throat and you stopped walking. “What?!” Your voice came out as a shout. 

Ava inhaled slowly through her nostrils, nervously looking around. “I need you to make less of a deal about it than you’re making right now.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, tone hushed as you leaned closer to her. “But that’s a whole consent issue. If you’d been drinking…,” you trailed off.

“I was drunk when we were making out,” she said, “but I had sobered up by the time we went back to his place.” 

“Are you absolutely sure?”

“Yes.” She confirmed, with an earnest look in her eye.

“Okay,” you said, calming down a bit. You’d been about to find Nick and strangle him. “So you really don’t regret it?”

“I don’t,” she said. “But… I feel awful about not regretting it. I feel like I should, like it makes me a bad person for not. Like, we were always told that if we made a mistake like this, we’d feel terrible about it. And I don’t feel terrible. I liked it, even. And I want to do it again, if I can.”

“Oh,” you said, not sure what else to say. Growing up, you and Ava had always been on the same page about sex, frequently discussing what it might be like on your wedding night. Ava had always been a bit on the wild side, but you had no idea her opinions had changed quite this much.

“But I feel like I’m not allowed to feel this way and continue being involved in the church.”

You understood where she was coming from. Even after you and Noah barely touched each other, you felt weird about going to church the next morning. It was actually quite refreshing to hear that you weren’t alone in questioning the validity of your chastity pledge. You thought you were alone in that.

“Honestly, I don’t blame you,” you confessed. “It feels like there’s an expectation there that if you attend, you have to feel the way they think you should feel. Like if you have sex or something like that, and don’t immediately regret it afterwards, you’re not good enough.”

“Right? Yes!” she said, more lively than you’d seen her all evening. “And I just feel so disconnected with that message.”

“You’re not wrong for feeling the way you feel,” you reassured. “Honestly, I’m also learning that faith is a lot more complicated than they’d have you believe. Noah might be a good person to talk to about it.”

“You mean Nick’s friend?”

“Yeah. He’s helped me see a lot of blind spots that I’d had before regarding religion and sexuality.”

“Did you guys…?”

You shook your head. “No. But we’ve been talking a lot about some of the problems in the church, especially around sexuality. How did you feel immediately afterwards?”

“Well, I went to the bathroom and cried about it, because I initially was hit with a lot of guilt. But after I processed that, I felt kind of happy? Like I was finally living the life I wanted to live for once.”

“I’m glad you got that experience,” you admitted. “I’m sorry that you felt so guilty.”

“To be honest, I thought you would handle this information way worse.”

You laughed, rubbing the back of your neck. “Yeah, I’ve been pretty closed-minded.”

“I think we all started that way.”

“I’m glad you told me,” you said. “I was really worried about you.”

“I’m sorry it took so long,” she admitted. “I was afraid of what you’d think. You’re one of the most important people in my life. I didn’t want you to hate me. And I didn’t want to have to pretend to feel guilty about it to you, or lie about the fact that it even happened.”

You paused the walk to look at her. “I know I haven’t always been the most accepting person. I’m working on that. But I could never hate you. Ever.”

Ava looked back, eyes glassy. The two of you embraced in a lingering hug, of which the significance was not lost on either of you.

When you pulled back, you realized you weren’t too far away from the party house. It was Ava that continued walking towards it.

As the two of you approached, you heard music blasting from the house. You were one or two houses away when you heard Noah’s singing voice.

“I think they’re having band practice,” you said, and sure enough, when you got to the front of the house, you could see inside the basement windows. The light was on and the band members faced away from you. All of them played with intensity—though less intensity than they had done the previous Saturday, when they had the crowd’s energy to feed on.

Noah wore a cutoff black shirt and you could see that his tattoos extended across his back—what looked like flowers on each shoulder and vines connecting them. You couldn’t see anything else, but it piqued your curiosity.

At some point, someone in the band made a mistake and they stopped the song halfway through. Noah turned around to face the drummer and you only had just enough time to dash out of sight before you caught his eyes flick up to the window, squint, and then redirect to the guitarist.

“So how was it?” you asked Ava, resuming your walk.

“Honestly?” she began. “It was incredible. Like, definitely awkward, but also one of the coolest experiences of my life.”

“What happened?”

Ava launched into a (very detailed) retelling of how Nick made sure she was coherent and could give enthusiastic consent, and then how he didn’t judge her for how new she was. He walked her through it every step of the way, made sure she had a great time, and even allowed her to crash at his place afterwards, going as far as to cook her breakfast the next morning.

“He wasn’t the best cook, mind you,” she said. “But the gesture was very sweet.”

“Huh,” you said. “I might like Nick a little more now.”

“That’s their house, by the way,” she said, pointing across the street to a tan single-story home with an unkempt front porch and an overgrown lawn. Beer bottles littered the side of the porch. You could see the blinds were broken in some areas. And yet, you couldn’t help the warmth and affection from growing in the pit of your stomach imagining all the good times that had been shared between the men that lived here.

It was evident from the way they interacted with each other at the party that all of the band members were close with one another. For a moment, you had felt welcomed into that world. At least until you had a panic attack.

“Want to turn around?” you asked.

“Sure,” she agreed.

“So what do you think of their music?”

Ava laughed out loud. “I appreciate Nick’s passion, but I don’t think I ever want to be in a crowd like that again.”

“Same,” you agreed, linking your arm with Ava’s.

This time, when you passed the party house, the lights were off. For a brief second, you wondered what Noah was doing, but then brushed the thought away easily, because it didn’t really matter. You were more than happy simply spending quality time with Ava. Taglist: @reyadawn @sundamariis @noahsebastions @cyber-tiny @livingdeceasedgirl @just-randomm-stuff @xxkittenkissesxx @treacheryinblue @flowerynerds @1toreyouapart @badomensls

Click here to be added to the taglist! As always, I would love to hear your feedback! I eat it up, so pls feed me.

[mentallyisekaid]

「 ✦ Fatui Harbingers x Signora's Sister! Reader, PART 2 ✦ 」

---

Part 1 [Part 2] Part 2.5 Part 3 Part 3.5

It's highly recommended to read the parts in order, otherwise few things will make sense!

Author's note ~ From this chapter forward, Y/N will develop a strong, somewhat intimate bond with her fellow Harbingers, but it's still, essentially, platonic. After coming up with the full storyline for this series, I figured it'd best to keep romance to a minimum, so it won't distract me or the readers from what's happening plotwise. But make no mistake - all of them care quite fiercely about you... it's not labelled "Harbingers x Reader" for nothing :) And of course, you're free to interpret their relationship in any kind of way you prefer <3

---

Featured in this chapter, we have (drum roll, if you please)... Scaramouche, Childe and Columbina!

Warnings: brief/indirect spoilers regarding Sumeru's Archon quest and Scaramouche's lore

Word count: 3k

---

A month had passed since the funeral, and the day you'd become the 12th of the Fatui Harbingers at Pierro's request.

*Note ~ Even though Signora's dead, I still consider her to be one of the 'Eleven Harbingers', and thus Y/N's position will be the 12th!

Truth to be told, you hardly cared whether such a dubious position had been offered to you out of respect for Rosalyne's legacy, or merely because they'd wanted to keep an eye on the immortal girl who possessed two Visions.

For the past five centuries, your life had lacked any clear purpose - perhaps this new title could change things to something a bit more... colorful?

Perhaps they could be the change.

On that note, there was something quite peculiar you'd come to notice about the infamous Harbingers.

Despite joining their ranks, you had kept the reason behind your questionable situation as a secret, so on a very essential level they still knew next to nothing about you (except for the Director who definitely knew enough to make you very uncomfortable!) In this regard, shouldn't they have considered you a stranger, or at least a high security risk?

Yes, yes they should have.

Yet not only did they treat you as one of their own, but it appeared that for some reason, these people cared about you to an extent beyond just professional relationships, always looking out for you in weird ways, like making sure you didn't overwork yourself, stayed healthy and never lacked any weird luxuries like expensive bath salts - that, and the fact that they were almost constantly lingering around you...

As someone who'd grown used to getting by on their own, you didn't really know what to make of their behavior. Or how to return it.

But did you dislike it? Not really. Why? Well, you were still sort of figuring that out.

You were currently sitting in Pantalone's office, looking through some financial reports while the Regrator himself was away on a business trip. As things stood, this was pretty much all that your title as a Harbinger was good for - assisting your colleagues by handling the less direct approaches to their duties as diplomats of Snezhnaya. It was only natural that you weren't yet expected, or trusted, to do any actual fieldwork.

So, your days were mostly spent being surrounded by endless piles of documents...

*knock, knock!*

...and them, as you might have guessed.

You sighed, placing the papers down on the desk when another round of impatient knocks came in. Clearly, that someone was going to invite themselves in regardless of your answer, and it wasn't hard to narrow down the list of possible suspects since only the highest ranking members of the Fatui were allowed in this part of the headquarters - frankly, the doors here tended not to be Harbinger-proof?

But it's not as if you really minded, breaktime was due anyway. Also, their company was always vastly more entertaining than work!

"It's not locked, you know" you commented, leaning back on your chair.

A scoff was heard before the door was rudely pushed open, and an unfamiliar character marched with such arrogance you'd think they owned the place. This made you raise an eyebrow; what an admirable sense of superiority? It wasn't someone you'd met before, but judging from the way they carried themselves, you recognized them nonetheless.

The man with child-like features (and a rather beautiful face) stopped in the middle of the room, staring curiously, though somewhat condescendingly, at the girl behind the desk.

"Are you," he started, "perchance the Director's newest recruit?"

"It's already been a month, but I suppose... in any case, what can I do for you, mister?"

"Mister?" The Harbinger crossed his arms, both amused and irked by your way of addressing him. "Ha, do you not know who I am?"

"Oh, no, I'm fairly certain I do," you sighed. "A presumptuous attitude, and a strikingly non-traditional kasa hat... the Balladeer, I presume? I heard you were busy playing a god in Sumeru with one of Dottore's segments, so I thought it might be a while before I get to meet the last one of my colleagues. But here you are - Scaramouche, was it? To what do I owe the pleasure?"

He was being rude too, you were just returning the discourtesy.

Scaramouche held back a chuckle, the bells from his hat jingling.

"Ah, yes, that would be me. And as to why I bothered coming all the way from Sumeru just to meet you, miss Twelfth..."

"I have a name. It's Y/N."

He clicked his tongue, taking a step closer.

"Yes, yes, whatever. Now, sit there and listen. I was in the middle of my little experiment on blasphemy when I suddenly heard that the Jester had recruited a new Harbinger, who, incidentally, has two Visions and is supposedly immortal - but she blatantly refuses to reveal anything about herself. Surely, you can imagine my slight annoyance at this, seeing as you, on the other hand, seem to know an awful lot about us."

You smiled a bit, fiddling with the quill pen in your hand.

"Yes, I don't exactly go around advertising my past to others. But aren't you same in that regard, Scaramouche?"

"I won't amuse you by answering that." He smiled eerily. "The point is, I don't like being kept in the dark - it gives people the chance to stab me in the back, and that's not something I'm particularly fond of."

"Ask the Director, then. I can assure you he knows all kinds of scandalous things about me - about all of us, no doubt."

He shrugged. "That won't be necessary."

In the blink of an eye, Scaramouche was no longer where he'd been standing before. The Sixth Harbinger had suddenly jumped on top of your desk, scattering the paperwork you'd spent hours organizing. He leaned forward with a smug look on his face, grabbing your chin between his delicate fingers.

"So, our little miss Harbinger refuses to reveal her secrets? We'll get those out of you, don't you worry~"

"My goodness?" Your previously dull eyes sparkled a bit. "What a bold move - it's certainly... something. I must say, I find your character quite fascinating, Balladeer."

"Likewise."

Behind that ruthless, indigo gaze, was a forlorn soul that had faced so much injustice...

When travelling around Teyvat for the past centuries, you'd caught bits and pieces of hearsay about Scaramouche's tragic past - most of it probably accurate. But it wouldn't have been wise to bring up such matters when you'd only just met him, especially since the Balladeer was widely known for his foul temper.

Though, judging from the way was looking at you, he probably knew what you were thinking. Even so, there was no ill intent in his eyes.

A new voice suddenly interrupted your odd encounter.

"I hope you're not harrassing our princess, dearest Scara!"

Tartaglia waltzed in to the office with an ominous smile. Scaramouche jumped down from your desk, scoffing at the sight of his ginger colleague.

"Ha, barely! I just happen to find her very intriguing."

Childe laughed a bit, stepping forward to pat your head.

"Well, I did tell you she was special, comrade. And to think you didn't believe me? Yet, here I find you. It seems Y/N Lohefalter is capable of drawing the attention of even the Balladeer himself, ahahhah~"

You followed their interaction, thoroughly entertained - compared to your previous uneventful life, this was certainly refreshing.

"Foolish boys," yet another familiar voice was heard, and Columbina strode in gracefully. "Avoiding your work to disturb Y/N with these shameful antics? Pierro would be quite displeased. Now, perish."

Damselette then turned her attention on you, smiling sweetly.

"Would you like to have an afternoon snack with me? I hope you've been eating enough, my dove."

"Now, now, don't be greedy..." Scaramouche taunted. "It's rather obvious that she and I were having a conversation."

You smiled a bit, pointing at each one of them with your pen.

"Technically, you're all are here equally uninvited. And on that note - as much as I'd rather do anything else right now - I really should continue with these documents or they're going to pile up..."

"Hey now, you know Pantalone doesn't like it when you overwork yourself, Y/N," Childe pointed out, crossing his arms.

Columbina smiled gently. "Yes, how about we go and have some tea instead?~"

Scaramouche raised an eyebrow at this.

"You sure speak to this girl in an unprofessional manner, Tartaglia, Damselette - if I didn't know better, I'd say it sounds almost intimate. Trying to snatch her away from me, perhaps? But you've already known her for a month; it ought to be my turn to get acquainted with our new little Harbinger. Y/N and I have some things to discuss, after all..."

"Oh?" Childe raised an eyebrow. "Then what exactly were you and her chatting so intimately about before I came?"

"Enlighten us, Balladeer," Columbina chuckled.

You shook your head a bit.

"Let's not go down that rabbit hole-"

"No." Scaramouche cut you off with a smug expression. "These two, and the rest of them... would agree with the opinion I shared with you, don't you think? Surely it's something that we've all been wondering about."

Columbina and Childe shared a brief but knowing look - it wasn't hard to guess what the Balladeer had said to you, and though he should have gone about it a more discreet manner, they couldn't deny their curiosity either.

The angel-like Harbinger walked next to you, brushing back a loose strand of hair from your face.

"I'd rather hear this from you," she hummed.

Her touch was a little cold but gentle, not at all unpleasant. You just weren't used to this kind of physical intimacy, or rather, it had been so long since you'd experienced any kind of intimacy, that it caught you a bit off-guard whenever your co-workers offered these weird gestures. It's not like you... really minded this. But it did make it hard to refuse when they the asked you for something.

You sighed, leaning back on the chair.

"Of course, I... know you're all somewhat displeased that I'm keeping these secrets from you, about my past, that is - how I've lived for this long, and how it's possible that have two Visions. It might be difficult for you to trust me because of this, but even so, I am not obliged to reveal anything. And you know as well as I do that the Jester already knows what there is to be known; he wouldn't have let me join otherwise."

Scaramouche narrowed his eyes, not content with your answer.

"Yes, but I also know that the Director is a man of his principles - either those secrets are shared of your own accord, or not at all."

"Then maybe you don't need to know? Maybe you're better off not knowing?"

Tartaglia frowned, leaning against the wall next you.

"Being a part of the Fatui already means that we're in way over our heads when it comes to anything questionable that's going on in Teyvat. Your... situation, is included in that, even more so because you're one of us now. And in case it's not clear yet, we do care about our own, even if that often gets a bit lost behind our agendas and differences." He put a hand on your shoulder and offered a reassuring smile. "So, we'd like to know more about you, Y/N. I'm sure that's what Scaramouche has been trying to tell you too, albeit he has a weird way of choosing his words."

The Balladeer crossed his arms. "What a speech, Childe." It sounded like a snide remark, you somehow sensed that he didn't mean it as one.

"For once, I agree with these two," Columbina said. "Though both are going about this in a rather thoughtless manner. Regardless of her past and whether or not she chooses to disclose it, she is a Harbinger - and that does not necessarily mean we should know all these things about her. Her only responsibility is to serve the Tsaritsa, after all."

She smiled at you. "But it is a shame you don't seem to trust us very much, Y/N."

Reverse psychology? Smooth.

"I think you've misunderstood me, though. It's not about trust."

You stood up from Pantalone's fancy office chair, stretching a bit.

"At this point, revealing those things might or might not cost me, but I'm pretty sure I won't gain anything from it either. If that's the case - well, is survival not about keeping the trump cards you have, or at least not giving them away for free? And information is often more valuable than Mora."

"You sound like the Regrator, though I'm sure he would disagree about the Mora part." Tartaglia chuckled. "But I like the way you think! So, what is it that you'd like in return for those secrets?"

"I'd be happy to arrange whatever it is~" Columbina singsonged. "Within the bounds of good taste, of course."

Scaramouche clicked his tongue. "What an insufferable girl - what is it you want, then?"

You tilted your head, wondering why these people were so invested in you. One day, you'd surely understand... but in this moment, you could only think about their offer and how it was just slightly too tempting to refuse.

"Well, right now, I'm craving for some excitement. Something more thrilling than this paperwork I'm drowning in day after day. I don't suppose one of you has a solution for that?"

Columbina's soft laughter jingled in the air.

Scaramouche was glaring at you.

Childe's eyes were sparkling.

"Excitement, you say?!" the ginger exclaimed. "Oh, that won't be a problem. How about we make a little bet, Y/N?"

"I'm listening."

"Let's fight a bit~ I've been wanting to see what you're capable of, and a match against the Eleventh Harbinger is far from playing around, so I'm sure it would prove exciting enough for you." He nodded toward the two gemstones hanging from your belt. "Use those Visions, any weapons and all the shenanigans you can possibly come up with - if you think you can. I promise to make it worth your while. Naturally, you'd have to share some of your past in exchange..."

You raised an eyebrow at his suggestion. "...if you manage to win, that is?"

Columbina chuckled. "Careful, Y/N. You'll get Tartaglia too excited~"

Scaramouche rolled his eyes.

"I'm not sure you understand what you're agreeing to, miss Twelfth. But by all means, go play with this idiot - I'll gladly come and watch, it ought to be entertaining. The next phase of my mission in Sumeru is not due in a while anyway." (And if by some miracle you do manage to beat Childe, I'll come up with other ways of discovering those secrets.)

The Balladeer as well had grown quite captivated by you.

Childe smiled innocently. "How about it, Y/N? Are you in?"

"You bet."

---

...who in their right mind had recruited this maniac?

Sure, the Harbingers had inhuman abilities, but this was pure madness. Tartaglia had yet to even demonstrate his Hydro powers, much less a Delusion, but merely by using his agility and a pair of escrima sticks he had already brought you to your knees.

It's not as if you considered yourself to be a particularly skilled fighter, but you did have five centuries' worth more experience than him, and quite a few tricks up in your sleeve. But Childe only ever gave you the time to use your polearm - no Visions, no shenanigans - and even so, you didn't manage to land a single hit on him.

You lay on the floor of the training grounds, breathlessly gazing up at Tartaglia who was pinning you down with his knee.

"Ready to yield, girlie?"

"Ha... I'm not, *huff*, giving up that easily..."

He smiled, putting a bit more pressure on your chest - not in a painful way, but it was still enough to diminish your remaining fighting spirit rather quickly.

"Alright, alright, fine... please, *huff*... stop, Tartaglia... I, *huff*... give... up..."

"You can call me Ajax, by the way."

The ginger stood up, gazing down at you with a grin on his face. Well, at least now you knew that the rumors about his martial arts prowess weren't exaggerated? Neither was the fact that whenever he did fight, there was this euphoric (honestly a bit scary) aura around him. Reminder - think twice before you accept a challenge from this guy in the future!

That said, you had quite enjoyed yourself...

Ajax offered his hand to you, and you meekly took it, allowing him to pull you up from the ground.

Columbina and Scaramouche, who had been silently observing from the sidelines, appeared slightly amused and certainly pleased by the end of your struggle. This outcome had been more or less expected, but ever so welcome. A Harbinger never backed on their word, after all~

"Now then, my angel..."

"...you better keep that promise."

The three of them led you to a small lounge, dimly lit by a fireplace and deserted from any members of Fatui. Exhausted, you slouched down on a couch and closed your eyes.

Damselette came next to you wordlessly, laying down and letting her head rest on your lap. This was a habit of hers that you didn't mind; while admittedly rather intimate, it was something like this that you had long yearned for.

Childe leaned against a nearby wall, smiling at you encouragingly. For some reason, you always felt at ease around him. He was like an "older" sibling - more than she ever was, the one you'd already lost before her death.

The Balladeer was sitting on an armchair, observing you with an unreadable expression. The slight softness in those cold eyes was perhaps only noticed by you; an abandoned soul recognizes its own kind.

"Now then, Ajax, Scaramouche and Columbina. Allow me to tell you a story - one that discloses how my first Vision came to be. While I'm at it, I suppose I might as well reveal why Rosalyne and I shared such a difficult relationship..."

(to be continued)