#it could be both really angsty or really funny like hes suddenly covering his mouth and why is he doing that he doesnt even talk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jesslockwood · 3 years

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SOUR | T. Holland

Word Count: 1.7k

Pairing(s): Tom Holland x Actress!Reader

Warnings: angsty af, swearing

Summary: y/n and tom broke up, and when tom comes around with his new girl 2 weeks later, y/n is sour.

A/n: I was hesitant to post this due to everything going on with tom lmao but yk, fuck it lol. anyways lmk if you want a part two cause I this was pretty short and I have ideas! also I didn’t edit this much lol so sorry for the mistakes!

His brown guilty eyes were enough to know that he moved on, in two weeks to be exact, after you broke it off. He was spotted recently with a girl he said he was just friends with, what a damn lie.

You try to not let the tears out as you see them making their way on the red carpet of the movie premiere. He looked you straight in the fucking eyes, yet couldn’t even give you a heads up he was bringing a date tonight. You worked together for six months yet he didn’t have the decency.

He betrayed you. He didn’t cheat but he betrayed you.

You had even mentioned her by name before, yet he said you were paranoid and had nothing to worry about. What bullshit.

She was just a new trophy for him, one that he’d put on the shelf later, or smash like it like you were broken.

It started out so sweet and innocent. You had met working together and had started dating under the radar, and you fell in love with him so quickly, even at his worst, but it didn’t matter. He moved on with you still in the picture and that’s what hurt the most. But he would never see or care about how much you hurt. He wasn’t sorry.

Isn’t it funny how someone you thought could love you the way you loved them, was a damn traitor?

He played all these twisted games with your mind, thinking that he felt the same way about you, or at least cared.

God, you wanted to scream, she was sleeping in the bed you lied in and made with him. But she couldn’t care less, she got the prize, a shitty one at that.

You didn’t get it, he couldn’t have fallen in love with someone that quickly, not after what you had.

All you had done for Tom, it didn’t apparently matter to him, cause he’s dating her. He gave you his fucking word, that you were the one who meant something to him, you guessed he just used you.

She was gorgeous too, and she made you feel so small, unimportant and the paparazzi all turned to them, and barely any was paying any mind to you, the star of the movie. It sounded selfish but you put the blood sweat and tears into this movie, and all she had to do was walk with the man you put blood sweat and tears into, and she had all the attention.

He just had to bring her and was showing her off like a new trophy. God, you hated him. You hated him for hurting you like this. And yet, if he asked for you back, you would probably jump at the chance.

He seemed so genuine and true when you had first met him. Brown doe-eyed, attentive and listening to every word you said like it was the most important thing in the world, then things got ugly. He would play all these twisted games with you, making you feel like nothing one moment, and then his everything the next.

He even gave you his fucking word and a promise ring that he would always love you, But Isn’t it funny? He’ll never feel sorry for breaking you.

Suddenly one of your friends, well tom’s brother, wraps his arm around your waist, whispering to you, asking if your okay, before the paps get a few snaps in of the moment. Harry starts leading you away from the commotion before you cried. No one had asked you that until today. Which kind of shell shocked you, because you weren’t and he was the first person who seemed to care.

Harry at the moment couldn’t care less about the out-of-character way his brother was acting, especially towards you. Yes, he loved his brother but hated how he was acting. He couldn’t see how he could treat someone as lovely as you like that.

Tom didn’t even notice the way you were destroyed. He let you go, Harry couldn’t understand why because tom seemed so happy with you, until nearing the end of the relationship.

“Thank you, Harry.” you sniffle, once reaching the inside of the building.

“You shouldn’t be thanking me. I should be apologizing for my brother.”

You smile weakly at him. He wipes the tears from your eyes, before suggesting,

“After they have you up on stage for the thank you’s and stuff, we should just ditch this and go back to my hotel and get room service and raid my candy stash, if you’re up for it.”

“I’ll think about it,” you say with a more genuine yet sad smile.

“Let’s get in there, shall we?” he puts his arm out for you and you link yours in his.

What you didn’t realize is that tom saw harry wiping your tears while doing an interview, and saw you link your arms together when he got inside. To say he was fuming doesn’t even cover how enraged he was.

Once getting in, you realized you and tom would be sitting next to one another, something you truly wished you could get out of.

“You’d better wish me luck.” You point to the seats.

Harry got the bright idea to just take his brother’s spot. He wouldn’t care anyway, he had his new girl Zabrina.

You and Harry had a small conversation about what both of you had been up to after he was Tom’s assistant for filming. You saw him almost every day when you and tom would hang out, harry being the third wheel. You had spent a decent chunk of time with him and definitely preferred the company over being alone, or with your ex.

“I can’t believe you dropped your SD card down the drain! Photos are your life, so you should have paid attention!” you laugh with him.

“Harry, You’re in my seat.” Tom interrupts, with a scowl on his face.

“Can’t you just move down one? Y/n and I are talking here.”

“Tommy I can’t see from that seat!” Zabrina pouts like a child.

“If she can’t see why do I have to sit there? I actually worked behind the scenes on this movie!”

“Harry, don’t make me-”

“You know what! Harry and I were leaving after we thank everyone. So you two lovebirds can have the whole row!” you say venom seething from your mouth.

“There you go, Tommy. Have a nice night you two!” Harry follows up, really sick of the attitude his brother was having.

Tom’s face turned red under the makeup he had on. He was enraged. His brother was betraying him.

“Have a nice time, fucking around” he said, seeing red. he saw your face soften, from anger to confusion, to sadness. You didn’t think he thought so low of you.

“What the fuck tom! We aren’t-”

“It’s not worth it Harry, he’s not worth it,” you say sadly. Standing up, Turning to go towards the stage.

That hit tom with a pang in his chest. He was just trying to get over you, to move forward. But maybe that was the problem. He just left you in the dust (peter parker is that you?) to navigate the way you felt over losing one of the best things you ever had. God, you wished you didn’t fall in love with him before he betrayed you. You wished he just would have thought it through before he ruined you.

Your director motioned over to you and Tom to go up on the stage.

“I’ll meet you outside, Y/n/n.”

That was tom’s nickname for you. He came up with it and he was the only one who could call you that. You were his and he was yours. But yet he knew that long-distance was so fucking hard. He couldn’t put you or himself, so he found someone who was fine with the distance. Zabrina barely paid attention to him unless he wanted attention for herself, but he didn’t realize how he broke much more of you than the surface showed.

“She’s really pretty, I hope she makes you happy,” you mention bitterly, hoping in a terrible way, he’d never be as happy as he was with you.

Before Tom, you scream out no one would make him happy as you did. Your director cut tom off.

After your director said thanks to everyone and the film started you grab your bag from your assistant, before heading to the exit, tom hurriedly tried to follow you, being caught by Zabrina, asking Tom to take a selfie with her, so she could commemorate her ‘prize’ when truly, Tom was using her as a rebound.

“Zabrina, I need to talk to harry!” he whispers yells.

“Why? He literally is taking to your wretched ex?” she says with venom in her voice.

Tom jogs around her, trying to get to you and Harry, While Zabrina dramatically calls after him.

He was too late, though, he saw you from the doors, you were already getting in your getaway car, with Harry. He ruined everything.

Harry and you were sitting in the limousine that was rented for you, before harry states, “He’ll be the one who crying, I promise you.”

“I always knew this is how He’d leave me. He found someone more exciting, and better than me. I was used a discarded like nothing.” you laugh through the tears.

“You’ll find someone who finds you exciting Y/n, and you’ll be their whole world.” he comforts you.

“Good for him I guess, but it’s like we never happened. Like what the fuck is that?” you ask.

“He’s acting like a damn sociopath.” harry shrugs.

You laugh at that one.

“So what do you want to watch Y/n?”

“Would you hate me if I said legally blonde?”

“Not if we can watch fight club after.”

“You have a deal, Sir!”

Tom however was stuck, watching you and him on screen. Reminiscing of how he fucked up.

It was getting close to an intimate scene, probably his favorite one he’s ever done. All he could think about was someone else getting to touch you, and be with you, he wanted that but at the same time, he couldn’t deal with all the shit of being with you. The relationship was too good, so much that Tom thought sometimes he didn’t deserve someone like you. It was probably crazy of him for thinking like that, but he couldn’t bring you down with him, not when he was so fucked up. He wished he could be the one but he couldn’t so he just hoped you were okay.

Tags:

@spideyspeaches

@greenorangevioletgrass

@queenofthepouges

@minejungwoo

@keithseabrook27

@lolooo22

@webmeupspiderdaddy

@harryhollandsgirlfriend

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #Tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #Harry holland

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wherethingscomebackx · 4 years

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Top 25 Larry Fics of 2020

h 2020 was HELLISH. So thank you to all the writers, and I mean ALL of them, who kept us occupied as the world continues to burn.

You may be familiar with these lists:

Top 25 Larry fics of 2016

Top 25 Larry fics of 2017

Top 25 Larry fics of 2018

Top 25 Larry fics of 2019

We’re going on our 5th year!! As always, I read a lot of fic and the majority of it is Larry. I like making lists and I like Larry so I thought I’d do some minimal research of the top 25 larry fics published/completed in 2020 in order of least to most kudos (with links). All of these fics are top notch so you should all check them out!

25.) a trail of honey through it all by @yvesaintlourent (27k)

The boy in front of him, well really, the man in front of him, was like something out of a confusing wet dream. Built, tall, tan and muscular, his skin glistened with sweat after a long day of working outdoors with his hands. He was wearing a cut up old American football shirt, the bottom hem was torn and the sleeves were cut off to the point where the t-shirt was really just a loose tank top. The shorts he had on had clearly been full length jeans at one point, and were now just crudely cut off above the knee. His white socks were pulled up too high on his calves, and the brown work boots he had on were old as fuck, the leather peeling along the edges of the soles. Curly brown hair stuck out from the edges of his backwards snapback, and there was a smudge of grease wiped along his brow bone. The smattering of hair along his jaw proved that he hadn’t shaved in a week or two, the hair growing in thicker across his upper lip and around his chin. His sinfully bowed mouth was pink and plump, and Louis was suddenly hyper-focused on the way that he chewed at the toothpick stuck between his lips. He looked like he needed a shower. Louis wanted to lick him.

Or, the TPH fic we’ve all been waiting for.

24.) even the best laid plans by @falsegoodnight (25k)

“Anyways,” Louis stresses, narrowing his eyes, “just let me say it and then rate how terrible of an idea it is on a scale from one to ten.”

“Alright,” Zayn agrees, sitting up expectantly.

“I want to ask Harry Styles to take my virginity,” Louis blurts, holding his hands out for emphasis.

The way Zayn’s eyes bulge is almost comical. “Negative infinity,” he says, voice choked. “Negative infinity times negative infinity.”

“Technically, a negative times a negative is -”

“Really negative infinity,” Zayn corrects himself, shaking his head wildly. “Louis, what the fuck?”

Or, Louis wants to have sex with someone and decides Harry is the perfect alpha for the job.

23.) A Distant Hazy Light by @greenfeelings (76k)

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

Or, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down, until he builds his own up.

22.) Ghost Note Symphony by whoknows (96k)

Louis is on tour when he first hears about it. It’s all over the news – Harry Styles Attacked By Fan runs in headlines for days. It’s not even just the gossip rags, either. Actual journalists are covering the story. It would have been impossible to avoid hearing about it. Technically, Oli is the one who tells Louis about it, but it’s not exactly being covered up. Harry doesn’t answer Louis’ text asking if he’s alright, but that’s not really surprising. They haven’t spoken for months, and it’s been a lot longer than that since they’ve had a real conversation. The sting of the text going unanswered is still there, less painful than it might have been a few years ago.

It’s not that it’s easy to forget about, exactly. Louis has a whole life outside of One Direction now, though. So Louis goes on with his life, figuring that if Harry was seriously hurt he would have heard about it by now. He might currently be in the same country as Harry, but being on opposite sides of it puts enough distance between them that putting it in the back of his mind is easy. There’s nothing Louis could do, even if he thought Harry might want him to.

That’s why everything that happens next comes as a complete shock to him.

21.) Until by @allwaswell16 (38k)

Rural Eagle County, Colorado wasn’t the type of place to find a famous musician or actor. At least not until songwriter Louis Tomlinson showed up with pop star Niall Horan to visit his uncle’s horse ranch, and they just happened to find themselves next door to a reclusive former movie star.

20.) Strangers in Love by sweetums (42k)

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

Prompt 51: An amnesia fic where louis and harry were enemies to lovers but after an accident, louis only remembers those memories that him and harry hated each other. now harry has to fix it. I think something like this less dark and less angsty compared to other amnesia fics and it could be funny

19.) A Long Way From The Playground by Pink_Sunsets (170k)

One Direction is broken up. They broke up five years ago. That should be the end of the story, right?

Harry is finished with One Direction. He now has a new life, one with two kids and a successful solo career. And he’s happy.

But a call one night from management flips Harry’s whole new life upside down, and he’s forced to face the life he had left behind.

As well as a certain blue eyed man who had left him behind.

18.) my love’s not simple (it’s fragile) by @falsegoodnight (27k)

“Can I take you out tomorrow?” he asks. “My shift ends at 7 but we can go for dinner at 8.”

Louis is silent for a few seconds and then, “Like… on a date?”

Harry swallows thickly. He hasn’t done this in years, hasn’t ever wanted to. “Yeah.”

He’s worried he’s misread things but then Louis raises his head to kiss Harry’s cheek. “Yeah,” he says easily. “Sure.”

Tension leaves his body swiftly. “Are you sure?” asks Harry. “I know we’re both so busy but I can’t not try with you, Lou.”

“Neither can I,” says Louis. “I think we can figure it out. I care about you a lot Harry. We’ve known each other for a week, but I already like you so much.”

Or Harry's new job is threatened by his impending rut. Desperate for a solution, he allows Niall to introduce him to Louis, an omega whose heat begins the same day. They click.

17.) Cocaine for Breakfast by @harryeatsburger (309k)

“It’s an easy job.” He continues, as if Louis wants to listen. “Like I said, a few trips. Parties, students, nothing dramatic.”

Louis gazes over to Harry. He’s looking thoughtful now, eyes on the green like he’s talking more to himself than Louis.

“Clubbing, drinks. Whatever, the business is just a side thing.”

That’s not how Louis remembers it to be, “You lying?” He honestly can’t tell.

Harry shakes his head slowly, meeting Louis' eyes.

“No,” He answers almost toneless. Harry clears his throat, “I won’t put you in any dangerous situation.” His voice is sincere, Louis can tell he means it, his jade green eyes glinting with truth.

or, - Louis Tomlinson is a drug addict, sent away from his beloved party-scene to recover. There, he discovers that small towns have just as much access to drugs as London did, plus something even better that he just can't get enough of. That something is a boy with green eyes and bouncy curls named Harry Styles. -

16.) Tastes like Strawberries by @sadaveniren (4k)

I’m stressed. I’m nesting and demand cuddles. Come over

Harry frowned and double checked who the text was from. Yup, it still said Louis - Grad, which meant it was from Louis from his grad school.

aka Louis texts Harry by mistake. It works out

15.) the way the storm blows by @rbbsbb (21k)

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

14.) bruise you like a peach by @falsegoodnight (40k)

There’s two reasons Harry despises Econ.

The first is that it’s boring as fuck. The second reason is a bit more personal, a bit more focused in a way. As in it’s focused on one specific thing, or in his case, person.

His name is Louis Tomlinson.

13.) Watching The World Fall by whoknows (11k)

This segment has been going on long enough that Louis knows what’s coming before James starts in on it, trying to sell him on something he knows that Louis wouldn’t normally be buying. But there’s four cameras surrounding him, and an audience watching him expectantly, so if Louis wants to continue convincing people that he’s doing just fine, he’s going to have to go along with it.

“We have a whole host of single men backstage waiting to meet you, Louis,” James tells him. “We want to help you find love tonight, on Late Late Live Tinder. Is this okay? Do you want to play?”

It actually kind of makes sense that his first date after the break-up is going to be just as public as said break-up. Something like coming full circle.

“Alright, James,” Louis agrees, hopping down off his stool.

“Okay, come down to the stage,” James says. Louis can’t even tell whether the excitement in his voice is genuine or not. “Right now, come on down!”

12.) Quiet People Have the Loudest Minds by @2tiedships2 (38k)

Broadway shows were one of the few things that could keep Louis’ attention for a full two hours without needing to move about. But not tonight.

The alpha next to him was both infuriating him and practically turning him on at the same time. He needed to leave. The alpha, that is. Louis was staying.

Or the one where Louis is a nonverbal omega who has accepted the fact that he will never find an alpha that will treat him as an equal. On the other hand, he’s never met anyone like Harry.

11.) The Wrath of the Emerald Eyes by @purpledandeli0n (85k)

His chin is grabbed harshly, facing the two deep green eyes that have been getting on his nerves for the past ten minutes. The smirk on the man's face does not vanish. The grip of his hand on Louis' chin does not soften, his thumb at the side of his lower lip.

His smile widens as he answers Louis' question, ''My name is Styles, but you will call me Captain."

•

Pirate AU

10.) Canyon Moon by @eeveelou (40k)

For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry.

Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind.

An A/B/O Lion King AU

9.) We Both Got Nothing to Hide by lovelarry10 (43k)

“Talk to me, Lou.”

“I can’t,” Louis mumbled, knowing he genuinely couldn’t say it. He couldn’t admit to what he was doing. “Don’t ask me to say it, because I can’t.”

“Then… I’ll try and guess. You’ve… got some stuff of Harry’s. Something of his to make it smell like him?”

Louis just nodded, eyes fixated on the floor. This was humiliating, but he knew Zayn wouldn’t stop until he found out what was going on.

“Okay. Like… a blanket, or a comforter or something?”

“Kind of…”

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

8.) sleeping on our problems by @falsegoodnight (67k)

I’m in love with you, Louis thinks. He feels empty, weighed down by his sadness and the loss of Harry inside him just moments ago before his knot finally went down.

There’s moments where he’s sure Harry feels the same. Like now, when he’s gazing down at Louis with so much adoration and tenderness. It’s like they’re both on the cusp of something more, but neither of them ever say a word.

His confession is on the tip of his tongue ready to slide out like honey, and yet he remains silent. They both do, looking at each other and recognizing the reluctance mirrored in each other’s eyes. It’s then that Louis realizes they’re both scared.

Or Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about.

7.) like it’s a game by @soldouthaz (32k)

there is little harry hates more than truth or dare.

and louis.

6.) before we knew by @falsegoodnight (39k)

“C’mon Lou,” says Zayn after a moment, He sounds even more exasperated than before. Louis sort of has a knack for exasperating people, especially people like Zayn who aren’t usually bothered by his brattiness. “Can’t you give this guy a chance? Harry Styles? Aren’t you curious about him at all?”

Despite his best efforts, Louis still flinches at the name. He really shouldn’t be so affected after all these years. He’s seen the name printed down the curve of his waist in obnoxiously and uncommonly large loopy letters every single day since his sixteenth birthday eight years ago. He’s very familiar with the name Harry Styles.

It sounds pretentious and Louis hates it.

He hates everything about his supposed soulmate.

He hates his large handwriting that stands out like a claim on his skin whenever he’s walking around shirtless. He hates his pretentious name. And now he hates his supposed curls and green eyes and dimples.

Or Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed into his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

5.) Mine Would Be You by @crinkle-eyed-boo (114k)

Louis blinks his eyes open, his eyelids fluttering as the room swims around him. He takes several gulps of beer once he confirms that he’s definitely not hallucinating, that the very first portrait Harry Styles ever painted of him is hanging on that wall.

Louis stares at the wall, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest as he realizes that there’s not just one painting of him, there’s five, the portraits lined up like they’re some sort of storyboard depicting the rise and fall of his deepest love. His greatest heartache. A pain that cut him so deep that he left the fucking country, severing all ties with his life in New York, now suddenly surrounding him as if he’d never left.

Fucking shit motherfucker fuck.

Louis returns to New York City five years after he left it – and the love of his life – behind. He didn't intend to see Harry again, but fate has a funny way of pulling them together, whether they like it or not. After making a begrudging truce, they both start to wonder: Would it be so bad if history repeated itself?

4.) You’ve Got My Devotion (Hate You Sometimes) by @harryrainbows (95k)

Harry was in the biggest boy band in the world. He was also one half of the best (or worst, depends on who you ask) kept secret relationship in the music industry.

Now, almost five years on, after One Direction has broken up, and Harry and Louis' relationship has as well, a video threatens to put everything at risk.

One determined Irishman, a massive publicity stunt and two begrudging exes are all it takes to bring One Direction back to life and maybe, just maybe, Harry and Louis' mangled love life too.

Or: Harry and Louis are forced to fake-date after an old video from when they were dating emerges.

3.) The Space Between by @lads-laddylads (39k)

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why.

Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

2.) Nothing But You On My Mind by @absoloutenonsense (83k)

Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again.

1.) Collision by @tequiladimples (224k)

Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other.

(Featuring Liam, the big and not-so-bad wolf who’s got a thing for humans, Zayn, a human with supernaturally good looks, and Niall, the cupid who just wants his job to be easier.)

#larry #larry stylinson #larry fic rec #harry styles #louis tomlinson #fic rec #one direction #1d #one direction fic rec #larry fan fiction #updated because I'm an idiot and added a zarry fic

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nataliedanovelist · 3 years

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GF - Mabel’s Worry

Collab with @clownwry! They’ve been super sweet and very nice, and after getting inspired by this post, I decided to write a full on-fic about it... but then it spiraled out of control, so enjoy an angsty story featuring the sweater twins!

~~~~~~~~~~

Mabel sat up quickly, breathing just as heavy as an Olympic runner. She shook her head to clear it and she hugged her knees in self-embarrassment. It was just a stupid nightmare. Vague, no real plot, but still carried the overall message, the fear, anxiety, and still made Mabel’s blood run cold and sweat sparkle on her forehead. She needed to calm down, get herself together. Milk. Warm milk.

And so she quietly got out of bed and left her shared attic bedroom for downstairs. Despite being gone for nine months, she still knew this dark home by heart. She could walk it blindfolded if needed, but the moonlight leaking in through the triangular windows helped her in her journey. That and a small light coming from the living room. Like a moth to a flame, Mabel sleepily dragged her socked feet to the room and peaked through the doorway, half of her face hidden by wood and shadow.

Grunkle Ford was sitting in the armchair, reading a book in the light of a lamp. Mabel’s spirit was lifted, relieved and happy to see him, but she was hesitant to bother him. He was happy with his book, she really shouldn’t bother him with her own stupid problems. She should probably just go get her drink and go to bed and leave him alone. But then Grunkle Ford’s instincts alerted him of a spy and he looked up and instantly smiled.

“Mabel,” His blissful facial expression dropped suddenly remembering that she went to bed a few hours ago and it wasn’t quite daylight yet. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

This really wasn’t like her, for words to fail leaving her mouth, for her to be silent or non-vocal. But all Mabel could do was barely step into the light, hands behind her back, and shrug with her eyes to the floor. She was silent because she was afraid of what she would say if she dared to give herself the opportunity to talk. Ford grew more concerned, but he knew what to do; he had more practice under his belt now than he did months ago. He smiled softly at his niece, closed his book and sat it on the dino skull, and patted his thigh. “Come here.”

Mabel looked up and bit her lip. The dame broke over her uncle’s kindness. With watering eyes she ran into his lap and clung onto him tightly, burying her face in his chest and whimpering as tears left her eyes. Ford hugged her back tightly and petted her soft long brown hair. The girl might be thirteen, but that doesn’t mean she would stop having nightmares or no longer need comfort. Moses knows, as much as he would deny it, Ford still had nightmares and still needed reassurance. Not to mention it was well-earned after everything he and his family had been through… everything he put his family through…

Mabel was mumbling something into his maroon sweater. Ford thought it was moans, sobs, but as he listened he could actually make out words. “M’sorry… m’sorry…”

“Hey, hey.” Ford said softly. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, my dear.”

“... didn’t mean t’bother you…”

“Oh,” Ford cooed as gentle as a lamb. “Oh, sweetheart, you could never bother me. Never.”

Mabel sniffed. “M’sorry.” Whether she was still sorry for bothering him or sorry for being sorry was a bit unclear, but Ford decided it didn’t matter.

“It’s alright.” Ford eased. “It’s alright, my dear.”

After a few minutes of letting Mabel cry into his chest, Ford could feel Mabel make a sharp shiver in his hold. He got a pretty good idea, and so he gently had Mabel let him go. She whimpered like a puppy denied a treat, but she watched with sparkling eyes as Ford slipped off his maroon sweater, revealing a thin long-sleeved white undershirt, and he sweetly pulled it over Mabel’s head and smiled at her. She helped him by slipping her arms into the correct holes and she grinned as she now wore Ford’s old red sweater. Nearly every day he wore a Mabel Sweater she had made for her, whether she mailed it to the Stan O’ War while they were apart, or she gave it to him in person. Only every so often did he wear his old sweater, but they were both glad he did.

Mabel allowed her head to sink deeper into the worn yarn. Her senses and lungs were drowned in Ford’s scent, which brought along happy memories and good emotions. She hugged Ford again and he happily held her, petting her hair and just being there.

A few minutes of silence passed, and Ford made a prediction that it was a good time to check on her verbally. “Feeling better? Mabel?” He looked down and Mabel was asleep, one arm still around him, one hand holding onto his undershirt. Ford chuckled warmly in his chest, slowly stood, and carried Mabel to the attic to tuck her in.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Dipper, they’re ready!” Mabel called.

Dipper hurried up the stairs and ran into his shared bedroom, plopped on the beanbag, and Mabel started the call on the laptop they had on the floor between the two beds. The grunkles answered at once, sitting at the table and grinning.

“Well hey there, gremlins! How was your week?” Stan greeted.

“Pretty good, just the usual school stuff.” Dipper answered.

“Did you get the package?” Mabel asked.

Ford grinned and picked up the large sealed box and placed it on the table. “Yes, perfectly intact! We picked it up in Pevek two days ago.”

“What?! And you haven’t opened it?!”

“Oh, well we thought we should wait until…”

“You two will freeze!” Mabel shook her head and smiled. “Open it and get warm!”

Stan rolled his eyes as he pulled out his pocketknife and cut the tape. “Sweetie, in the last two years we’ve been sailing you’ve sent us three trunks full of blankets, eight pairs of gloves, at least a dozen sweaters for each of us, six scarves…”

“Not that we don’t appreciate it, we always love your packages, my dear.” Ford interrupted. “But you work too hard. We’re never cold thanks to you.”

“Good. Let’s keep it that way.” Mabel said firmly.

“Oh wow! Mabel!” Ford gasped happily as he pulled out a new green sweater-vest with golden diamonds and a long-sleeved salmon button up. “This is beautiful!” Ford also pulled out a regular dark-orange turtleneck.

Stan noticed there had been two stacks of things. Ford had already taken out his stack, so the old conman grinned as he plunged his hand into the box and grabbed his new baby-blue sweater with a sailboat on it. “Sweet! And look here!” Stan pulled out another sweater, this one being a warm cream color with tiny pinetrees on the neck and wrists and waist of the sweater. “Wow, Mabel! Just when I thought your sweaters couldn’t get more impressive… this is so cool!”

Mabel blushed over the compliments. “I’m glad you like them. There’s still…”

“Oh, my dear, this must have taken you ages!” Ford pulled out one last item: a large knitted blanket to go with the others, this one made with very thick yarn that was as soft as the melody of youthful days. It was very large and could easily cover both men, and it resembled the sky perfectly, being dark blue with white specks.

“Thank you, pumpkin, this is amazing!”

Mabel grinned and said, “Just please stay warm.”

Ford smiled and nodded. “Of course we will. We’re always careful, my dear. And thanks to you I think I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be cold.”

Mabel wasn’t sure if she bought it, the number of times she saw their chattering teeth, tight jaws, and rosy cheeks and noses in pictures, but she decided not to fight it and she just smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~

There are some benefits to living in the glorious year of 2014. Many different forms of communication allow people to keep in contact, no matter how far apart they are. So not only did Ford, Stan, Dipper, and Mabel, text every day and send pictures and emails, they always had their Saturday night/Sunday morning video call. Always. So, of course, Mabel and Dipper were a little concerned when no one responded to their text messages to ask if they were ready for the call.

“Hey guys! Ready?”

“Rise and shine, sleepy heads! Can’t wait to see you guys!”

“Are you guys okay? We understand if you can’t make it this week.”

“Is something wrong? We’re not mad, but could you please text us.”

“Guys, seriously, this isn’t funny…”

“If we don’t hear back from you guys I will call the FBI! The CIA!”

“You guys do know how to use your phones, right?”

“Are you guys hurt?! ARE YOU DEAD?!”

Dipper looked up from his phone and across his bedroom. Mabel was in Sweatertown on her bed, buried in her favorite nightgown. Dipper sighed and moved to sit next to her. “Mabel, it’ll be okay.”

“They’re jerks.” Mabel mumbled from within the maroon yarn.

Dipper smiled and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, we’ll get payback when they finally answer.”

Mabel lifted her head just enough to peek at his twin. “But what if they never do…” And tears formed.

Dipper rubbed her back and said, “They will. I swear.”

But they didn’t. As time ticked from ten o’clock at night to midnight to even three o’clock in the morning, Dipper and Mabel stayed awake, waiting for a response, both of them knowing any attempt to sleep was futile. And when Mabel’s phone buzzed and rang for a video-call, they both dove and Mabel clicked the green button with a shaking hand.

~~~~~~~~

Stan gave his brother the mug of warm water. “You’re an idiot.”

Ford snorted and sipped the warm drink. “This isn’t coffee.”

“You don’t need coffee, you need to get hydrated.” Stan collapsed into the couch next to his brother. His eyes landed on the wall-clock, and he shot up quickly and ran for the bedroom. “DAMN IT!”

“What? What is it?!” Ford gasped.

“It’s Sunday!”

Ford groaned and slapped his forehead.

Stan grabbed his phone and found a dozen text messages from each kid and some missed phone calls. “Ah jeez, I know you’re wiped out, Sixer, but we gotta talk to these kids.”

“I don’t care if I’m on my deathbed, we’re calling them.” Ford hollered back as he loosened the grip of his blanket and Stan entered the room. His brother sat next to him and called Mabel’s phone.

At once Stan’s phone lit up with two distressed looking kids, both with wide eyes but missing their bedheads. “YOU’RE OKAY!” The two teenagers cried out.

Stan winced. “Kids, we’re really really sorry…”

“What happened?!” Mabel gasped. “Grunkle Ford, are you okay?! You don’t look very good, are you sick?!”

“Mabel, sweetie, I’m okay.” Ford eased. “I… erm, I fell overb-...”

“YOU FELL IN THE OCEAN?!” Mabel yelled in horror.

“Ssh, Mabel!” Dipper hissed, eyeing the door.

“Are you okay?! Are you on your way to a hospital?! Do you need anything? We can hitchhike…”

“Mabel, Mabel, please, I’m alright, Stanley’s been taking excellent care of me.” Ford said firmly. “I’m sorry we scared you, sweetie, but…”

“Well, good!” Mabel snapped, visibly angry and now full-on scolding. Stan and Ford glanced at each other nervously, getting flashbacks of scoldings from their mother. “You should be, knuckleheads! We can’t tell if you’re even still alive unless you tell us! Don’t you ever scare me like that again, you hear?! If something happened to you… I’m glad you’re happy and doing what you love, but PLEASE don’t kill yourselves doing it!” Mabel bit her lip as she realized she was yelling, and she used the long sweater sleeve to wipe at her damp eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“Aw, pumpkin, it’s okay.” Stan replied calmly. “You’ve got every right to be mad at us. I’m sorry, I should have at least texted you. But I honestly didn’t cuz I was busy keeping this dork alive.” Stan teased, elbowing Ford and making him smile. “So, yeah, that was really scary and that wasn’t fair, but he’s gonna be just fine and we’re both okay and you know that now. Right?”

Mabel held her knees and sunk her face into Ford’s old sweater, only her eyes and the top half of her face visible now, but she wasn’t looking at them. “Yeah… Yeah, okay…”

“Mabel,” Ford said firmly. “Mabel, look at me.” He waited until her eyes were on him, and he smiled softly and said, “We’re okay. I promise, we’re both okay.”

Mabel couldn’t help but return the smile. “Okay… okay…” She sniffed and lifted her head a little, but her chin was still happily buried in red yarn. “So, tell us what happened? Was it the Kraken again?”

Stan grinned at the opportunity for a story, and the kids happily sat and listened.

~~~~~~~~~~

Almost fifteen-years-old. Dipper should know better than to run off into the woods after a dangerous anomaly, but he did it anyway. Mabel stayed home to make sure the monster didn’t come back, and was soon reunited with her boys as they arrived, breathing heavily. Dipper was okay for the most part. His arm was hurt and he had a black eye, but he was okay, and their grunkles were only a little scuffed and there was a leaf or two in Ford’s fluffy hair.

Mabel hurried to Dipper, but instead of hugging him like the three guessed she would, she smacked her brother over the head.

“Hey!”

“Mabel!”

“You KNUCKLEHEAD!” Mabel screamed. “Don’t you EVER do that again, you hear?! Don’t you dare! What were you thinking?! You just HAD to go after it! Couldn’t go inside like a normal person!”

“Good to see you too, sis.” Dipper muttered. “I had it under control.”

“I don’t care! What if you never came back…”

Dipper blinked and interrupted her. “Aw, Mabel, that was never gonna happen.”

Mabel bit her lip, held herself, and looked away.

“M-Mabel, I’m really sorry…”

“Here, let’s get you cleaned up first, and then we’ll talk about this, okay?” Stan eased, sensing that they needed a time-out. “C’mon, kid.”

Dipper sighed and followed Stan to the bathroom where they kept the first aid kit, leaving Ford alone with Mabel, who was well prepared to talk to her.

“Mabel, my dear, you have every right to be upset with him…”

“How could he do that?!” Mabel looked up at her uncle. “How could he think for a second it’s okay to just run off like that?!”

Ford chuckled a little to try to lighten the situation. “You know your brother. He has high ambitions and is extremely curious.”

“That doesn’t matter!” Mabel snapped. “It’s still stupid and selfish! I know he needs to do what he loves, but doesn’t he know how much I need him?! How can he just leave me behind?!”

Ford stared at Mabel. Her voice was cracking, her lip was trembling, and something in her eyes was screaming to be heard. Ford thought for a second, then dared to ask, “A-Are you talking about Stanley and I as well?”

Mabel sobbed. She yelled out in pain and collapsed on the bottom step, burning her face in her hands, and sobbed her heart out. Ford was stunned to hear her cry so hard, in so much emotional pain. She didn’t even cry this hard over any nightmares, and he had dealt with a handful of them. Poor Mabel was crying so hard and violently she gagged and retched occasionally, her body torn if she could cry or not but it was out of her control.

Ford got on his knees before her, but did not touch her. It broke his heart to see her so upset. And he and Stan had done this? Whatever it would take to fix it, he would do it. He was reluctant, but if sailing around the world with his brother was causing this much pain for their girl, then they would both agree to dock for good. “M-Mabel…”

“I understand…” Mabel mumbled through her tears and into her palms. “I understand why you had to go… why you both wanna go… b-b-but what if something happens to you?! How many times have you both gotten sick or hurt or nearly killed?! I miss you all the time and I’m always worried I’ll never see or hear from you again!”

“Oh, Mabel, sweetie…” Ford reached out a hand to put on her shoulder, but Mabel threw herself into Ford’s hold and he hugged her back tightly.

“I get it… I understand why you have to go… so WHY do I still feel this way?!” Mabel sobbed, clinging onto his uncle for dear life. “I’m so angry and scared and hurt! But I don’t want you to stop, I want you to sail cuz I know it makes you happy, but I need you to be okay!”

A lot of things clicked in Ford’s brain. Why Mabel always sent packages full of warm clothes. Why she always asked what they ate. Why she always checked on them. Why she was very observant and asked if they were okay if something was slightly off. Why she easily got worried if she didn’t hear from them. And why she always hugged them like she never wanted to let them go.

Ford blinked his stiff eyes a few times and forced himself to keep it together. “I’m so sorry, Mabel. You and your brother are everything to us. I love you two more than anything. If… If sailing causes you this much distress we can…”

“NO! No no no!” Mabel screamed in horror, holding on tighter. “No, please don’t stop cuz of me! I don’t- That doesn’t matter!”

“Mabel Pines,” Ford said firmly and readjusted his hold on her so he could look her straight in the eye. “You matter.”

“I-I know. I know.” Mabel breathed. “But… please don’t stop sailing cuz of me. Please. I don’t want you to stop. But… I want you and Grunkle Stan to be okay. I… I can’t lose you…”

A large lump was in Ford’s throat. He tried to swallow it away, but it didn’t work. He compromised and took advantage of the silence. He cupped Mabel’s right cheek with his left hand and wiped some tears away with his thumb. Mabel covered his hand with hers and turned her face into his palm.

“I understand, my dear. I do. And I’m so sorry. I swear, we won’t stop sailing unless we want to. You have my word. But I also swear to you that Stanley and I won’t let anything happen. We;re too scared of losing each other to let anything happen, believe me.” Mabel moved her eyes to his. “We will always come home. I promise.”

Mabel hugged her uncle again and cried into his shoulder, leaving him to rub her back and pray she would be okay. Ford opened his eyes and caught the sight of his twin at the top of the stairs. He must have heard Mabel’s screams and come to investigate, but decided to stay out of it. But a look from Ford told Stan that Mabel needed him too, so Stan climbed down the stairs, sat behind her, and hugged them both.

#GF #gravity falls #gift #collab #ford and mabel bonding #fanfiction #clownwry #sea grunks #angst #ANGST AND FLUFF

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theeslytherinslut · 4 years

Text

12 Grimmauld Place (5/?)

Pairings: Sirius Black (post Azkaban) x reader, Remus Lupin x reader’s brother, Sirius Black x Slytherin!reader

Word Count: 2,909

Warnings: lil angsty

A/N: The longest chapter yet and it’s entirely in Sirius’ perspective! Hope I wasn’t too far off from his inner monologue. Also lots of spicy Tonks cause I love her.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6

Sirius’ POV

Feeling intrusive, I caught Tonks’ eyes as Remus and Y/N hugged each other, her sobbing into his shoulder. With a quick twitch, I signaled to her that we let them have a moment. She nodded and followed me into the living room.

“Still haven’t gotten around to cleaning anything, have you?” she teased, gesturing to the layer of dirt and dust that seemed to cover every inch of the house.

“Whenever you feel up to joining in...” I teased back.

“Well, it looks like you’ll have Y/N to help you with that,” she responded, raising her eyebrows at me in a funny way.

“What?” I asked.

“Y/N,” she looked at me meaningfully. But not knowing what she meant, I stared blankly back. “You men--it’s a wonder you make it up in the morning by yourselves...Obviously, her flat is no longer safe. She’ll have to stay out of sight for a while too. What better place to both be safe and stay out of sight than here?”

“Stay here?” I asked dumbly. Sure, I figured she’d stay the night, but it never occurred to me that this would be the best place for her. But now that Tonks pointed it out, it did make sense. Not like she could go back to her blown flat; besides, she was vulnerable there. Vulnerable and alone.

“Yes, cousin. Are you alright?” she laughed at my bewildered state, but I didn’t find it so funny. It was difficult to ignore my feelings for her when I wasn’t seeing her every day. How was I supposed to manage now?

At school, it was easier to manage. In the hallways, I’d look at anyone but her, smirking at any girl I caught looking at me, any sort of distraction. But when Moony wanted to go have a chat with her, well, I’d have to plainly look away, instead contenting myself with glaring at passing male members of her house, daring any of them to speak up or look at her.

Remus had made his views very clear in the year of her arrival. He’d been gushing about since first year, always saying how she’d enjoy something or another. I still remember her terrified face during Sorting dissolving into a bright smile when her eyes found us seated at the Gryffindor table. Remus waved excitedly at her from his seat, the rest of us doing the same--all hoping she’d soon join us. However, upon seeing the rest of us with him, her face turned bright red, and her eyes went terrified once more. Before I could even shoot her a reassuring smile, she’d turned back to McGonagall. Unfortunately, she’d been placed in Slytherin, something we never let poor Moony forget. That night in the common rooms after everyone else had long gone to bed, he’d made us all swear to never lay a finger on her--to essentially be another three big brothers--never to look at her in any sort of way. Of course we all made the promise, but I couldn’t honor it.

I still found myself scouring the Great Hall for her face at mealtimes, ducking around shelves in the library in between classes looking for her. I always made sure to be on my best behavior in front of Remus, but behind his back, my eyes couldn’t wait to hungrily devour his sister. Her witty remarks as some Gryffindor teased her, her filthy mouth when a fellow Slytherin made the wrong comment--and just when I thought I couldn’t fall for her any more deeply, I’d caught her hexing a Gryffindor in the corridor. The poor bloke came out a few seconds later, clutching his jaw and nose, both of which were expanding at an alarming rate. She came skipping round the next moment, smiling broadly at her achievement. It was all I could do not to kiss her right then.

“Sirius?” Tonks asked, pulling me from my memories.

“Sorry, yes?” I asked, trying not to appear as anxious about it all as I was.

“What’s your problem?” she asked. Looking at her, I weighed my options. On the one hand, the only living soul who knew about how I felt about Y/N was now no longer, in fact, living. On the other, keeping it such a secret allowed me to continue in my friendship with Moony. Lovely as she was, I couldn’t have anything come between us. Not when we were the only ones left.

“I--” I started to begin the story, but upon remembering James, I stopped. “Nothing.”

“Sirius,” Tonks started, an offended look on her face. “I am your cousin. You tell me right now, or I’ll go get Remus, and he will.”

“You would, wouldn’t you,” I said, a fond smile coming on my face as I looked at her.

“I most certainly would.” she threatened. With her hands on her hips, I was suddenly reminded strongly of Mrs. Weasley, which only made my smile bigger. “Now, go on and tell me, you grinning git!”

“Alright, lower your voice. Can you keep a secret?” I asked, looking at my hands.

“Course I can,” she indignantly responded.

“Well, there’s a, a slight--er, problem, with Y/N staying,” I said quietly, keeping an ear out for her sniffles.

“Problem? What problem? Not like you don’t have enough rooms. Or is it you fancy her or something?” she said, laughing. I kept quiet, and after a moment or two, realization began dawning on her face.

“Oh, but Sirius, she’s Remus’ sister!” Tonks said, looking at me scoldingly.

“Don’t you think I know that, Nymphadora?” I barked, angry that she responded the way I feared.

At the sound of her birth name, her hair began burning bright red, and I retreated.

“Sorry, it’s just--I know, okay? I’m very much well aware of the fact she is Remus’ sister. Why do you think I’ve kept my distance all these years?” I said.

“Likely cause you were in Azkaban,” she pointed out. I gave her a nasty look, and she smiled softly. “Next time, don’t use my full name.”

I rolled my eyes and began anxiously pacing the floors. This was wrong; this was all wrong. The one girl Remus said was off-limits. All he let me get away with all those years at Hogwarts. With a fresh pang of guilt, I recalled a put-out looking Remus looking at me while I talked to a tall, blonde Ravenclaw during Charms. It was only years after I learned he’d had a thing for her--but to my defense, I’d have backed off without a complaint if he’d only told me.

“All these years?” Tonks said, liking working things out in her head. “Surely that doesn’t mean...since Hogwarts?”

“Yes,” I admitted miserably. “Since her first year.”

“First year?” she shouted.

“Keep down your voice.” I hissed at her, pausing to hear Remus speaking softly to Y/N.

“Sorry,” she winced. “But really, since first year and you’ve never said anything?”

“Well, I couldn’t. Remus made us all swear to leave her alone--and bloody hell, was that a job. After school, it was easier, once I was able to keep my distance. Out of sight, out of mind, as the Muggles say. Sorry, you know how Arthur loves his Muggles.” I laughed as she gave me a funny look. “And then--as you so astutely pointed out--I was in Azkaban. So it really hasn’t been a problem these last few years.”

“But now she’s living in your house,” she pointed out.

“Precisely,” I responded, running a hand over the scruff on my face. She remained quiet, looking thoughtful for a few minutes before responding.

“Well, this is just bloody ridiculous. You’ve got to do something,” she said.

“Do something? Do what? How could I betray Remus like that? He’s the only one left, Tonks. How am I supposed to betray him this way, especially after James, and then all the time apart, and then managing to let Peter slip through our fingers? I can’t do this to him.” I reasoned, beginning to harden my resolve.

“Oh, you are bloody ridiculous, you know that?” she sighed, running her fingers through her now bubblegum-pink hair.

“Excuse me?” I said, stopping my pacing to glare at her.

“Bloody ridiculous!” she repeated, “Sirius, that was years ago. That was a feeble promise forced to be made by an older brother before his friends got horny and couldn’t think straight.”

“What?” I said, pulling a face as I considered her words.

“Remus made you all promise that so young so she wouldn’t become a plaything of yours, especially when the both of you turned out to be such whores.” Tonks laughed.

“Whores? I was not a whore! And certainly not James, why after fifth year I don’t think I ever heard so much as a comment about any girl besides Lily.” I defended the both of us, vaguely aware of how I’d ridiculously brought my hands to my hips in indignation.

“Sirius, you’re family, you know I love you--but Merlin, you were the biggest sodding slut the whole of Gryffindor has ever seen! I’d bet there isn’t a room in the castle you haven’t done something naughty in.” she laughed once more. I opened my mouth to protest, but couldn’t come up with a room fast enough--only proving her point.

“Now, you two are not schoolchildren anymore. You are a grown man, Sirius. There’s no need to honor such a trivial and unnecessary pact.” She took a step towards me and put her hand on my cheek, dropping her voice. “Think of how much you’ve suffered, Sirius. Think of what you’ve lost; think of who you have lost. Remus has suffered the same loss. He lost James just as you did, but he also lost you. He thought you’d gone bad, thought Peter dead--James and Lily were dead. And then, years later, you return--innocent. You came back to him, and he, you. Things like that change a man. I’m sure there’s no one on this planet he trusts more with his sister than you. Don’t sacrifice your happiness for one more minute, cousin. Especially not when things look so similar to how they looked before, back when it all went wrong. Don’t waste another minute; I’m not going to either.”

Shaken at her words, I remained quiet for a few moments. So much had changed since that night in Gryffindor tower. Maybe he wouldn’t mind the idea so much anymore. Besides, he trusted me enough to keep her safe.

My happiness...I’d never given the idea much thought, never considered it much of a possibility after being imprisoned. Never had reason to since. But now, my brain was swimming with possibilities.

“Hang on,” I said, remembering the end of her monologue. “You aren’t going to either?”

She cursed under her breath before looking at me.

“Noticed that, did you?” she grimaced. I merely looked at her expectantly. “Alright, fine. Can you keep a secret?”

“I mean, if I outed you, you could just out me,” I pointed out.

“True, alright. Well, it’s Remus,” she whispered, avoiding my eyes.

“You and Remus?” I asked, frowning in thought.

“And what about it?” she said, looking at me testily.

“Well, nothing really. It’s just I never thought about it...are you sure?” I asked after a moment. I loved them both, but the thought had never even crossed my mind once. Surely if there was something between my cousin and my best friend, I’d have suspected something by now.

“Of course I’m sure, you git,” she hissed at me.

“So then why aren’t you together?” I asked. I couldn’t think of any reason they shouldn’t be if they both felt that way. Not like I had a sit down with the lot of them about not dating her.

“Because he too is being ridiculous. Refuses to even look at me most of the time. Says I’m too young, says I deserve better than him.”

“Better than Moony? Good luck with that one, cousin.” I laughed, shaking my head at the thought.

“That’s what I keep saying, but he’ll hear none of it. Says I deserve better than a shabby, poor old werewolf.” she rolled her eyes.

“Is that really what he thinks of himself as? A shabby old werewolf?” I asked, sad for my friend. If anybody deserved happiness, it was Remus. Before she could answer, we heard him calling.

“Pads?” I suddenly heard. He entered the room alone, smiling softly at the two of us.

“Hey, mate.” I smiled at him, opening my arms once more. Remus had always grudgingly accepted my affection, which only made me more inclined to give it knowing it bothered him. And as I knew he would, he rolled his eyes and smiled as he accepted.

“Perhaps we should stay...” Remus said, looking to Tonks and then back to the kitchen.

“Ooh no, you don’t. We’ve got to go, cut up sister or not. Besides, who better to take care of her than Sirius? Isn’t as if he’s got anything better to do. Perhaps she could persuade him in actually cleaning something in this wretched house.” Tonks added, gesturing to filth. I glared at her but remained silent; she was right. The house was filthy, but it was painful enough to be here, let alone restore the bloody thing.

“Suppose you’re right...” Remus said after a moment, “Take good care of her, Pads.”

“Course I will, Moony. Always took good care of you, didn’t I?” I jeered.

“Not bloody likely! And don’t you go taking credit for that, that was all Madam Pomfrey,” he scolded, wagging his finger at me like he used to as a Prefect. “The group of you could hardly stand to sit still in the hospital wing for half an hour, let alone get me through a transformation!” As Remus told his story, Tonks looked at him with a funny look, and with an alarming pang, I realized Y/N often shot me the very same look. Did that mean she felt for me as Tonks felt for Remus?

“That is bang out of order, mate! I worked hard at becoming an Animagi! Took years, it did. Don’t remember seeing Madam Pomfrey out trotting about with a teenage werewolf. Besides, kept your arse out of trouble!” I bantered back, smiling jovially.

“Oh, it just as easily could’ve gotten me in trouble,” Remus shook his head at the memories.

“But it didn’t, did it?” I teased, “You know you loved it just as much as we did, Moony. Try as you might to remain all high and mighty. Ickle Prefect Moony,” I jeered, poking at him as he laughed.

“Alright, alright. C’mon, let’s go before the two of you really start down memory lane. We’ve got to meet Dumbledore.” Tonks said, gently steering Remus towards the door.

“Hang on, you’re going to Hogwarts?” I asked. I couldn’t help but be jealous.

“Briefly. That wretch woman gets nosy when we’re there for more than a quick pop in.” Remus said; the disgusted look on his face told me he meant Umbridge.

“Ah, well, say hello to Harry for me if you see him. I hear the little scamp likes roaming round nearly as much as we did.” I smiled after them.

“That he does; I still remember catching him with that map...I don’t even know how he got ahold of it. James would’ve been so proud, out in the dark corridors taunting Snape. Like father, like son.” Remus smiled fondly at the memory before hanging his head slightly and ambling off to join Tonks. My chest hurt at the mention of James and Harry, and I was once more painfully reminded of my solitude. What I wouldn’t give to see James again...

I followed them to the door, waving goodbye as the two of them popped out of sight. I stared longingly at the spot where they’d disapparted.

Standing in place, I gave myself a moment to gather my thoughts before returning to the kitchen.

Tonks had made many good points, but were they just good because I was looking for any kind of reason to be with her? Did they actually make sense, or was I just looking for an out?

Remus had only made us promise once in the wee hours of the morning in the Gryffindor common room. Besides, if family was off-limits, well, that made him a right hypocrite, didn’t it? He did leave her here with me though, with the promise I’d take good care of her. That meant, to some degree, Remus trusted me with her. Would I be breaking that trust by going with my gut with Y/N?

Good and evil continued to argue on my shoulders, but if I waited for a decision, I might be here for years.

What’s more, was she even interested in me? I mean, sure, I’d caught her staring in school--but that was years ago; a lot had changed since then. But then there was the blush that always colored her cheeks every time I said something cheeky, the relief on her face when I’d met her in the port key room. Surely she wouldn’t let someone she detested bathe her, right?

I resolved to simply flirt. If that went well, then she felt something too. And if she felt something too...well, let me not get ahead of myself.

*******************************

Taglist: @geeksareunique @fredweasleysbitchh @green-intervention @stopbeingcurious

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aliasimagines · 4 years

Text

Insecurity // Dick Grayson

requested by a lovely anon!

1/2 Hi! Can I please have a dick Grayson x reader who is insecure and anxious and hasn’t told dick about it because apparently boys don’t like insecure girls. She feels she’s not good enough for him. She gets recognised in public as ‘dick Graysons girlfriend’ and the person says ‘he’s SO FAR out of you league. Haha you’re ugly and your relationship won’t last for long.’ 2/2 the she goes home crying and goes to sleep. Dicks comes to sleep and she in eventually she starts crying lying down and she tries not to disturb dick but he wakes up and says ‘what’s wrong oh noo?!!! And the reader tells him everything and how he could have anyone so why would he want her? And he comforts!!! And says cheesy lovey things and says how much the reader means to him and kisses!!! Thank you!!

word count: 1685

a/n: i'm sorry you had to wait for this, I ak having a hard time rn. But thank you so much for the request! I love getting requests! Also I kinda altered it and it's more angsty but I hope you like it dear! ❤️

You were already having a bad day. You had to wake up early for work. Had to leave without saying bye to Dick, as he was sleeping in after last night’s patrol. But you made a little time to admire your boyfriend. Peacefully sleeping with pieces of black hair covering his beautiful face. You glanced at your reflection in the mirror at the corner of the room. Despite wearing one of your favorite outfits you didn’t like what you see. It was just... One of those days.

Normally you’re okay with yourself but every once in a while you get extremely insecure and that’s when all those mean thought get to you. You tried to brush it off as you walked to work. To think about something else. And.. It kinda worked? You weren’t feeling extremely well but you put on some good music while walking and focused on the lyrics rather than you thoughts.

You stoped at the bus stop waiting for it to arrive. Watching a puddle in front of you heard some chatting from behind you.

„.. No. It’s not her. I mean look at her! The fuck! A top shot guy would date that. No, that is not Grayson’s girl.”

„She is I’m telling you! I saw her on a pic he posted. But you know what? Imma go and ask.”

You froze, hearing the conversation and hoped they weren’t talking about you. Sure you did know they were talking about you but still.

You felt someone gently touching your shoulder causing you to curse mentally.

„Hello, sorry to bother but me and my friend were wondering.. Are you y/n y/l?”

You swallowed the spit you had in your mouth and turned to see a woman. She had long fair hair and a pair of shiny green eyes, she is around your age.

„Uhm yes. That would be me. Can I help you with anything?”

The other woman you heard stepped closer.

„Are you really dating Dick Grayson?” you heard her voice. Like she didn’t believe it.

You took all your strength and nodded.

„Yes, yes I am.”you said, surprising yourself by not having a shaky voice. You were so close to a breaking down...

The both giggled.

„Aham, all right thank you!... Oh wait one more question... How do you do it? Are you using some sort of magic? It’s Gotham I wouldn’t be surprised..”

Your lips trembled.

„I.. I don’t know what you mean.”

„Come on girl. There us no way in hell a guy like Dick Grayson would date you. He is sooo out if your league. He is so damn hot and a son of a billioner! I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that you, a gray little nobody is dating him. No offense, dear, you’re just nit a good fit for him.”

You thanked every living creature because in that moment you heard the bus pull up. You manged to excuse yourself quickly and quietly from those bullies and ran to the bus.

The remaining part of the day is kind of a blur. You honestly have no idea how you managed without breaking down. You felt like someone was clenching your stomach and had the urge to cry the whole time. But until the moment you stepped in your apartment you did not.

You knew Dick wasn’t home yet. He works late. Gets up late. And latley... Your interaction with your own boyfriend was so damn little... That it was just another excuse for you to feel insecure.

Let’s be honest. He is such a beautiful man, amazing body, breathtaking eyes, always so kind and sweet to everyone. What if he is only with you because he feels sorry for you.

You never talk to him about your insecurities because in your mind that would only make his choice of leaving you easier. In your mind, guys don’t like insecure girls. Dick is an amazing human but.. Would he be different? Would he still love you if he knew how anxious you were? You keep telling yourself, no, he wouldn’t.

You only bothered to get off your shoes and coat and throw your bag somewhere. You made your way to your shared bed, lied down and hugged a pillow.

The bitter sound of your crying was the only noise in your home for... Hours? It easily could have been hours. You kept wishing Dick was here to comfort you but that you kept reminding yourself that if he saw you like this he would straight up leave you.

You don’t know when but you fell asleep.

Dick opens the door to your apartment so delicately, so quietly. He does not want to wake you. Ah, you. All day he waited for this moment so he could finally get home and cuddle up next to you.

With him working and being on patrol a lot he.. He doesn’t see you as much anymore as he would like. He feels bad for it. He tries to leave patrol earlier or skip it, when he can but still... When was the last time you woke up together? Or when did you fall asleep together? It’s been too long and he... He misses you.

After cleaning himself up and changing clothes he walks in the bedroom and climbs next to you. It is too dark in there for Dick to see your tear stained cheeks. But what he notices is that you are still in your normal clothes and not your sleepwear.

Maybe you were just too tired to change. He excepts his own little answer and goes to sleep.

You woke up with one of his arms around you. You have a moment of joy. A moment of forgetful happiness before everything hits you. You can make out his silhouette and that alone is enough for you to break down. You try to be quiet as much as possible.

You cry, thinking if he saw you... He could leave you. You wouldn’t blame him. You feel like there’s just problems with you.

You heart practically stopped beating for a second as you heard Dick shift in his sleep.

„Babe..” he mumbled.

You collected all your strength and answered, hopefully without a shaky voice.

„Go back to sleep, baby.”

But.. He didn’t. He turned fully towards you and still half asleep caressed your cheek.

„I missed you all day Y/N.. Are you crying?” he asked suddenly sitting up, forgetting about sleeping.

Damn it.

„Yeah... But it’s fine, Dick. Go back to sleep.. I’m fine” you couldn’t actually say the lats words because you started crying so loudly. You felt him hugging you close.

„Shh, y/n. You can tell me. That’s why I here.”

„I.. Can’t... You’ll hate me.” you whispered between sniffing and crying.

„What? No! I love you, silly! I won’t hate you!” Dick responds. He starts to think though. What could make him hate you...? Maybe you cheated...? No, he knows you didn’t. You love him.... you love him, right?

„Promise?”

Dick tries to be funny and offers you his pinky.

„Pinky promise.”

„I... Lately... I just feel so awful! All the time! I’m so anxious Dick. It’s so so bad. Every morning I avoid looking in the mirror because I hate what I see. I can’t even believe why would you even consider dating someone like me. The women I met at the bus station were right. You’re so far out of my league.”

In a way this was worse than cheating. Dick felt heartbroken. He failed at being your boyfriend. He was supposed to make you feel safe! Loved! To be a safe place for you, to make you feel trusted. He failed at that. What else hasn’t he notice?

Dick felt hot tears streaming down his own face. He pulled you closer to himself.

„Y/N... I feel so ashamed. I can’t imagine how badly I must have treated you to feel like this. After all I’ve done, or rather not done I extremely worried that you want to get up and leave me. I mean I would understand but...I love you! You have to know that. I am sorry for not telling it to you enough. I need to show my love for you more. And if that is what it takes for you to realize how an amazing woman you are than I will. Because you are, amazing, I can’t imagine coming home and not finding you here. You are the single most important thing in my life. I just... Me being out of your league? Hell! You are out of my league! I don’t deserve you. I know these oast few weeks we... We barley talked. Like really talked. I was so busy with everything but that’s not an excuse to leave you alone. I can’t even ask for your forgiveness... „

„ Dick... „

„ No, really I don’t. I am supposed to make you feel loved yet you think I would leave you because you are insecure? Because you are anxious? Those are more reasons for me to stay and help you. But you feel like I can’t help you with these and that is purely my fault. But... I promise if you give me a chance, I will make up for it. I’ll be the man you deserve. Shower you with love, listen to you, help you in every way you want. Because I love you,so, so much. I can’t stand to lose you. „

You bury your face in his chest and don’t even try to hold back the tears. He doesn’t either. You cry but you are happier that you got it off you chest. Dick cries, afraid of losing you. He won’t. You won’t leave him. It will take some time for you to fully open up and talk about every insecurity you have but Dick is willing to wait for you. He will wait for you till the end of the times. Because he loves you. And you live him. And for now, on this quiet September night, love is enough.

#dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson x you #nightwing imagine #nightwing x reader #dick grayson one shot #dick grayson oneshot #dick grayson imagine #dc imagine #dc x reader #dick grayson angst #dick grayson fluff #batboys fluff

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justsomeoneunordinary · 4 years

Note

angst 3 for winteriron pretty please

Hi Ava, thank you so much for sending this prompt in. Finally I finished it, after… 3 months. I also used it for the WinterIron Week (which I am so much behind for, it’s not even funny). I still have no clue if this really warrants as ‘angst’, cause it feels more dull to me than angsty, but oh well. It is what it is.

Now, the whole organizational stuff (aka the pain in my ass):

On Crossing Paths

Prompt is from this list: “You promised you’d stop drinking.” — “And you promised you wouldn’t hurt me!”

Day 3 of @winteriron-week: Angst & “But I did it”

And since this got way out of hand anyway, combined with:

Day 4 of @winteriron-week: Tony needs a hug (Bucky too) & Forgiveness

(Nvm, I wrote something for day 4 anyway)

M, 5.2k, Alcoholism TW, Angst (-ish), Canon Divergence, Tony Feels, Emotional Hurt, Falling In Love, Hopeful Ending | AO3

(Day 1 / Day 2 / Day 4)

—

Tony meets James for the first time in a seedy bar in Brooklyn on the night of December 17th, 1991.

Twelve hours before that first meeting, he listens with deaf ears to the police telling him his parents died in a car accident.

Ten hours before that first meeting, he cries on Obie’s shoulder while Obie pats him on his head and tells him “everything would be fine”.

Seven hours before that first meeting, he speaks to Rhodey on the phone and makes him promise not to jeopardize his military career by showing up without permission.

Five hours before that first meeting, he drives to the scene of the accident where he screams into the godforsaken void from the top of his lungs, curses Howard and then has a mental breakdown in the middle of the street.

Two hours before that first meeting, he finds himself driving through the city with no destination in mind until he decides that he needs a drink.

Or rather ten.

Which is how he ends up at “Cheryl’s” where no one even bats an eye at the face of today’s headline and sole heir of a multi-billion company entering the bar. It’s too dark inside, the strong stench of sweat and smoke penetrates his nostrils on the spot, and Tony is pretty sure that the mold behind the counter is just about to build its own ecosystem.

He orders whiskey and gets a Jack. Not exactly what he wanted, but it will do.

There’s a glint out of the corner of his eye that gains his attention and when he turns, his gaze falls on the metal hand of a man with the saddest eyes he has ever seen. What once must’ve been a wild grey is now the lifeless stare of someone who’s been haunted by ghosts for a long while. A frigid expression on a pretty face framed by strands of long brown hair and cherry red lips made to be kissed. Wrapped up in an outfit that might as well be from a BDSM scene.

Tony likes what he sees. Very much so. He imagines dragging the guy into the bathroom, pulling those tight leather pants off and giving him the best blowjob of his life. It certainly would take his mind off other things. Like the fact that he’s an orphan now.

So he does, what he does best: he flirts. But this time it’s a challenge. It takes him three attempts until the stranger takes his eyes off the wall and looks at him, a tiny frown between his brows—but no other sign of acknowledgment.

“Finally got your attention, Handsome! You’re not much of a talker, hm? No worries, I can talk for both of us.” Which Tony then does. He talks and drinks and flirts—a wink here, a featherlight touch on the guy’s biceps there—and drinks and speaks of DUM-E and Rhodey and all their pranks during MIT, watches with fascination how that dead look in the stranger’s eyes slowly forms into curiosity, beams in delight when he gets a snort out of him, drinks some more, slides closer with each drink and puts a hand on his thigh, slowly caressing it up and down.

“You got a name, Handsome?”

The guy seems to hesitate for a while until he answers in a deep, raspy voice, “James.” Tony is pretty sure it’s a lie, but then again—he doesn’t need to know the name when he’s got his mouth full of dick.

“Well, James, you can call me Tony.” He flutters his eyelashes and bites teasingly on his lower lip before he drops his tone and asks, “So… your place or mine?”

After that Tony remembers the night only in a blur. He remembers passionate kisses in a dark alley, hands wandering everywhere, rising heat and grey eyes shimmering in pure lust. He remembers a hotel room and soft sheets and strong arms around his waist.

And then he wakes up, the taste of alcohol and James still lingering in his mouth.

When he opens his eyes, he finds James sitting in the chair at window, instead of lying in bed next to him, his entire focus solely on Tony. It should be creepy, but James’ gaze merely comes from curiosity, as if Tony was a machinery whose workings he is still trying to understand. It’s kind of endearing.

Tony gets up, disinterested in getting dressed, and pours himself two fingers of whiskey at the bar.

“This your breakfast?”

Tony grins smugly at the hoarse tone of James’ voice. “Nah, that’s just my mouthwash,” he answers and winks at him over his shoulder.

He eyes James for a moment while sipping on his drink, and then adds, “There’s a diner not far from here. Serves the best blueberry pancakes in all New York, I can vouch for that. What do you think, want to accompany me?”

It’s not Tony’s usual style. Otherwise, one-night stands will remain exactly what they are for him: one-night stands. But James has something that fascinates him immensely. It’s not just the overdeveloped prosthesis that can impossibly be on the market anywhere, and makes Tony wonder where he got it from, but also that look in his eyes of someone who has seen way too much. This emptiness that suddenly becomes filled with curiosity when it comes to small things. This enigmatic thing that surrounds him and whose code Tony wants to crack.

At the diner, Tony watches with amusement as James’ eyes widen in delight at the first bite of the heavenly pancakes and can’t help laughing when James pounces on them like a starving predator.

Since James is not much of a talker, Tony does the speaking. For one, because he can’t stand the silence, but for another, because he needs to distract himself. Because he doesn’t want to think about the death of his parents or how empty the mansion will be when he returns. So he talks about anything he can think of until he comes to a point where he doesn’t even know what he’s talking about, but is pretty sure that somewhere in the torrent of words, he tried to explain James the exact details of his AI study.

When they’re about to part ways though, Tony only too well remembers the emptiness that will greet him when he comes home, and he doesn’t even finish thinking it through, before he invites James to come with him.

James does not only come with him, but he also stays.

—

Weeks pass and before Tony knows it, James has practically moved in with him. If you can call it moving in when James doesn’t seem to have a single thing that needed to be brought here. Tony doesn’t know James’ last name, nor does he have the slightest idea who he is, and with each passing day his suspicions grow that he must have taken a homeless man off the street.

It should be terrifying or at least worrying but Tony can’t find it in himself to care enough. He lost his parents—and Jarvis and Ana even earlier—and would be alone in this big mansion until the loneliness would overwhelm him. And James turns out to be an excellent guest. Or rather roommate at this point.

For all he knows, James could be a serial killer, and Tony still wouldn’t care. He needs the company and he uses James for it—in bed and outside of it.

The more time they spend, the more not only Tony seems to be learning about James, but James also about himself. He discovers a love of books, especially C. S. Lewis, and sometimes holes up in the library all day except when he goes looking for Tony to read his favorite passages to him.

Every time he discovers a new dish that he likes, Tony can watch James’ whole face glow and none of the shadows of his past can be seen in that moment.

His favorite reaction, however, is when he trusts James enough to show him his workshop. James’ eyes widen in amazement and a brilliant smile forms on his lips at the sight of scientific chaos there is. “It’s like Narnia!”

“What? Where do you get that from? Narnia is nature and talking animals. I don’t have any talking animals here.” What DUM-E understands as a cue to speak up and whereupon James gives him a smug ‘told you so’ grin.

In these situations, it’s easy to forget that all is not peace, joy and pancakes. As soon as Tony gets down to the jobs Obie gave him, he remembers again, and the alcohol finds its way to his liver to ease the pain. In the morning, noon and evening.

Sometimes at night too when James has one of his nightmares and Tony can’t help him because James doesn’t talk to him, not about who he is, not about his past—although Tony guesses with an almost certainity on veteran—and not even vaguely about it his nightmares.

But they are fine, they have a routine: talking during the day, fucking at night. Eat blueberry pancakes for breakfast at the diner once a week and fiddle with James’ arm whenever he has time.

It works perfectly well as it is.

—

It’s not until on a particular bright morning in March 1992 Tony realizes that he had fallen in love with James a long time ago—the day after he almost dies of alcohol poisoning.

He wakes up to see James laying next to him, still asleep. Long strands of hair cover his face and Tony gives into the urge to brush them to the side, so he can take James’ peaceful expression in.

It’s a picture he’d like to wake up every day to. The longer he thinks about it, the more Tony has to admit that he can’t imagine a life without James in it—and that’s when it hits him. That those are feelings beyond of sole sexual attraction, beyond cameradine or friendship.

The realization hits him like a slap in his face. He breaths in shakingly and his first instinct is to get up and get himself a glass of whiskey to calm down, but before he can do anything the heart monitor starts picking up and only then does Tony realize that he’s not at home but in a hospital.

James stirs awake at the sudden noise and immediately glares at Tony. “You fucking idiot.”

His eyes are red, indicating he must’ve cried, and Tony isn’t sure what is going on but he can tell it must be bad. But he’s still too overwhelmed with the realization of his feelings, so he just gapes at James, not being able to say a word.

“You fucking idiot,” James repeats. “How often did I already tell you that you drink too much? That you should stop?”

And before he can react to that, he’s being crushed in a sudden hug, James holding him tightly to his chest and tears streaming down his cheeks.

“For a genius you are so dumb,” James murmurs and Tony—for Tony it’s too much. He doesn’t know what happened, doesn’t know what to say, so he blurts out without a second thought, “I love you.”

That brings James to a halt. Tony’s muscles tense up and he instinctively holds his breath.

James pulls back a little bit, so he can look at Tony, who rather focuses on the white sheets of the hospital bed. “Tony did you watch too many rom-coms? Confessing feelings after you almost died should’ve been my job in that case though.”

Tony needs a moment to register the words correctly. “Almost died?”

“Alcohol poisoning.”

Oh fuck. Even Tony knows that this is not good, that he definitely went too far this time.

James gently cups Tony’s face so that he’s forced to look into those gray eyes shimmer in a happiness. “Tony, I love you too.”

Faintly he registers the heart monitor rising up again, but he’s too distracted by the warmth that fills him from within to feel any embarrassment at that. He looks up at the wonder that James is and then surges forward to steal a kiss. He expects a nurse to barge in any moment now at the way his heart rate jumps off the charts, but that’s not stopping him from burying his hands in James’ hair and deepen the kiss further.

“Tony,” James laughs as he pulls off. He rests his forehead at Tony’s while they catch their breath and slowly morphs his sappy expression into a serious one.

“Tony,” he repeats. “I love you. And because I love you, I need you to promise me to stop with the drinking. I can’t watch you destroy your own life any further like that. Yesterday I had to find you passed out in the workshop. Have you any idea what I went through?” His hands wander all over Tony while talking, as if he needs to prove himself, that Tony’s still alive.

Tony thinks of SI and Obie and the expectations he has to live up to. He thinks of mama’s piano and how he hasn’t played on it since the accident. And with each thought the urge to get a drink intensifies. He gulps audibly and asks, “Will you help me?”

James’ quiet smile is more than enough for an answer. “Always.”

“Okay,” he breaths out and adds, more hastily, “okay, but you have to promise to never hurt me, James. I can’t, after mum died and Jarvis and—”

“Of course I will never hurt you, Tony.” James interrupts him and those words leave James lips so effortlessly and earnestly that Tony has not a single doubt in the truth of them.

And with James on his side, Tony believes he can make it. Not just getting sober, but living an actual life. Getting his shit together, looking forward.

He finally tells him of his plans of a new home in Malibu, those he was too afraid to talk about because James is bound to Brooklyn and Tony feared he wouldn’t come with him when the mansion’s constructions are finished. But James just laughs and says, “The only place I belong to is your side. So wherever you go? I will follow.”

Tony feels happy like never before. Things finally go well.

—

Until they don’t.

—

The Winter Soldier fights for the first time against his programming on the night of December 16th, 1991.

It’s the shocked “Sergeant Barnes?” Howard Stark gasps that evokes hidden memories from the back of his mind. Memories from war—gunshots, explosions, screams and the smell of fire and blood. Memories of a guy once tiny suddenly big. Somehow the same person, somehow not.

Memories that lead him to Brooklyn instead of the meeting point where he should deliver the serum to his handlers.

His legs walk him the entire day through the city, while he’s taking in each building—some he recognizes, most of them not. Until at night he looks up at a blinking light stating “Cheryl’s” and sees flashes of himself, hair shorter and a laugh on his face, dancing with another man and exchanging forbidden kisses in a dark corner.

He enters and not much later he meets the whirlwind that is Tony Stark.

With Tony the Winter Soldier becomes James and learns to feel again. Other emotions, besides constant rage and pain. Curiosity first, then amusement, lust, care, warmth and somewhere around March 1992 he knows it’s love.

He falls in love with Tony Stark who treats him like a human being rather than a tool, who talks and talks and makes him laugh, who touches him softly always and everywhere, who isn’t afraid of the metal arm but fascinated by it, who studies it without causing him any pain, who sings and laughs and dances and doesn’t shy away from James even once.

Tony Stark who drinks more than he should, reminding him of a man that might be his father coming home, reeking of alcohol, hitting a woman that might be his mother—bringing back memories that rather stayed forgotten. Tony who almost dies and promises to stop with the drinking. Tony who sometimes looks like a man carrying the entire world on his shoulders, dark bags under his eyes, a haunted expression in them and yet does his best to keep James’ sorrow’s away.

Tony Stark whose parents he killed as he realizes after a nightmare on November 24th in 1992.

—

In the morning of November 25th 1992 Tony wakes up alone in bed, a yellow sticky note on his nightstand and the words “I’m sorry, doll” scribbled on it.

—

Tony waits first, clinging onto the hope that he misinterpreted that note and that James will come back. All of James’ few things are still here—Tony checked.

But the longer he waits, the stronger the urge gets to wrap his fingers around a bottle of whiskey. So he gets up and starts looking. First at the diner, then the park, further to the Brooklyn Bridge, to “Cheryl’s” at last.

He returns to an empty home. Doesn’t sleep in the first night, neither the second nor the third and collapses on the fourth—his face buried in James’ favorite wool sweater, the bathroom reeking of his vomit.

And then he repeats that circle anew.

—

James doesn’t come back.

—

On December 1992 Tony moves to Malibu without looking back.

The bar in his new home is fully stocked.

—

The next sixteen years pass by in a rush. Tony drinks. A lot. He drinks and fucks, and then drinks and fucks even more in a desperate attempt to forget James. To forget his touch and smile, his smell and his taste. To forget James’ everything.

And he doesn’t care enough what happens around him during his wake of self-destruction.

Until it comes back to bite him in the ass.

—

In 2008, after 3 months of captivity, Tony returns to the New York mansion for the first time since moving out. There on the night stand of his old room are still the photos of him and James from the photo booth they once took.

Tony blows the dust away and looks at the old pictures, a wistful expression on his face. He soaks James’ soft smile and bright glint in those beautiful eyes in, remembers how those pouty lips felt on his own, remembers the sound of James’ laugh, the taste of his mouth, his body pressed against Tony’s.

In all this time J.A.R.V.I.S. was never able to find even a trace of James. It was, as if he disappeared from earth. Chances are, he died. Because how far can a guy with a metal arm get without the most advanced AI of the world being able to find him? But even though he doesn’t believe in ever seeing James again, Tony thinks of him and the promise they gave each other when he empties his bar down the sink.

The photos end up in his workshop, next to the arc reactor’s glass case Pepper gave him. Tony finally starts looking ahead.

—

Years pass and Tony lives his life again.

He also almost dies some countless times, and every single time he thinks of Pepper, with a lingering memory of James’ laugh.

—

And then in 2016 Johannesburg happens and with Johannesburg the Sokovia Accords follow.

—

Over the years Tony imagined countless scenarios where he would see James again. Not in one of those could he have imagined it to go this bad.

“I know that road.”

—

Fourteen hours after the whole Siberia debacle Tony pulls the old photos from the drawer in the workshop and sets them aflame. He watches with a grim satisfaction as they slowly crumble to ashes and takes his first sip of whiskey in years. Directly from the bottle.

DUM-E’s distressed efforts at saving anything from the photos with the fire extinguisher are just a tad bit too late.

Nothing is left.

—

Tony starts drinking again.

—

In 2016, despite careful avoidance, Bucky does meet Tony again—in a HYDRA bunker of all places. And his heart aches at the sight of Tony’s shock.

Tony might’ve aged and changed, but those eyes are still the same. Big and expressive and at that very moment filled with sadness and anger and disbelief. And worst of all, it’s Bucky’s fault.

He doesn’t plan to fight and neither does he want to leave Tony behind, but he doesn’t believe Tony wants him anywhere near—Bucky had already done more than enough.

So he goes with Steve and goes back into cryostasis, hoping to stay there forever. Only to be woken up a few months later and informed that they got rid of his trigger words and Tony made sure that the Avengers were allowed to return to the States.

Bucky included.

It seems surreal to him to enter the Avengers compound; as if he was dreaming. As if there was a catch that would strike later because he doesn’t deserve to be here.

And then, in the kitchen waits none other than Tony, his eyes hidden behind colored sunglasses, his fake media smile on his face and a whiskey glass in his hand, the sight of which freezes Bucky’s blood in his veins. He’d like nothing more than to take the glass out of his hand and hug Tony tightly.

Which is a privilege he no longer has.

“Ah, the fossil duo! Welcome back,” Tony couldn’t sound more unwelcome if he tried. “Everything is still as you left it, Rogers. You can show Barnes yourself where everything is.” With these words he mockingly salutes them, turns around at his heel and disappears from the kitchen again without giving Bucky a single look.

A chill runs down Bucky’s spine at the sound of his last name from Tony’s mouth. It’s so… wrong. To Tony, he has always been just James. If affectionate or angry or laughing, James was the name Tony would call him with. This single, condescending “Barnes” feels like a thousand knife stabs in his heart. It’s only thanks to his training that he stays composed and doesn’t go running after Tony in a desperate attempt to try talking to him.

The next few weeks pass similarly. If he and Tony even see each other, which is a rarity in itself, even though they live in the same building—he has the suspicious feeling that Tony is deliberately avoiding him with F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s help—then Tony ignores him as if he were not here at all.

Bucky knows, he deserves worse than just the cold shoulder, but that still doesn’t make it easy. Especially not when he keeps finding empty alcohol bottles scattered around somewhere and can do absolutely nothing about this problem.

His only bright spot is Rhodes, who looks at the bottles with just as much loathing as he does. It means that at least one person keeps an eye on Tony’s consumption, since Bucky himself cannot. Bucky never had a chance to meet Rhodes twenty-five years ago, and Bucky is pretty sure Tony hasn’t told him anything, otherwise Rhodes wouldn’t be content with shooting him deathly looks only.

That’s why he doesn’t say anything to Steve either, no matter how hard he questions him, because he sees that there is something between him and Tony that he doesn’t know about. If Tony doesn’t want to tell anyone about their past together, then Bucky won’t either.

Bucky keeps the distance that Tony obviously wants from him.

Until two months after his arrival at the compound on a Tuesday morning F.R.I.D.A.Y. sends an urgent distress signal, and Bucky is on his way so quickly that the other Avengers don’t have a chance to follow him directly even if they tried.

—

Tony wakes up in a hospital with a throbbing pounding in his head and aching bones all over his body—James’ worried face hovering over him. It’s the shittiest déjà-vu he’s ever had.

At least the circumstances aren’t quite the same. Rhodey diluted Tony’s alcohol every time he thought no one would see him. So that something like alcohol poisoning wouldn’t happen again. Tony is grateful and annoyed at the same time.

No, this time he just flew drunk in his Iron Man armor, lost the connection to F.R.I.D.A.Y., which he has to get to the bottom of as quickly as possible, and then fell. So, waking up in the hospital makes sense.

But that James is here instead of Rhodey or Happy or Pepper or anyone else is both, surprising and unwanted.

James opens and closes his mouth several times, seemingly unable to decide what to say before croaking out, “You promised you’d stop drinking.” His voice sounds suspiciously as if he had cried recently, and Tony almost laughs at the irony of the situation.

But then he remembers the day he woke up without James at his side. Remembers searching everywhere for him, waiting, not being able to sleep for days, and how miserable he felt without him, not knowing what happened, not knowing where he had gone.

He remembers that James had fucked him—no, made love with him—knowing he had killed Tony’s mother. And he feels the blood boil in his veins in anger at that. How dare James after all these years, after all that happened, now talk about that promise?

So he throws him a deadly look, his hand clenched into a fist and growls, “And you promised you wouldn’t hurt me!”

James visibly flinches at that and takes a step back, his eyes wandering everywhere but at Tony. Then he takes a deep breath and looks Tony straight in the eye as he says, “You’re right. I promised you that I would never hurt you. But I did it. I have—”

“Why did you do it?” Tony interrupts, because that’s what he wants to know. What he had asked himself over and over again over the years—the why.

Bucky blinks at him in bewilderment and asks: “Why what exactly?”

“Everything!” Tony throws his arms in the air in frustration, ignoring the ailment of his broken ribs over the sudden action. “Why you suddenly left me overnight, why you never told me anything about yourself, not even vaguely hinting at who you are and what happened to you, why you let me fall in love with you when it was you, who killed my mother and were therefore to blame for my misery!” The last part comes out much more honest than Tony wanted it to be and he quickly looks ashamed to the side to blink away the rising tears of anger.

He hears a deep sigh from the side and out of the corner of his eye he can see James drop into the visitor’s chair.

“Tony, I didn’t know who you were or that my mission had been your parents when we met in the bar,” James begins hesitantly to explain. “Howard… his words brought a few memories to the fore. Just blurry, barely recognizable images. I didn’t even know my own name when you asked me for it—I just named the one that was at the tip of my tongue.

“During the time we were together, my memories have only gradually returned. I had no idea about your parents until a nightmare reminded me of it.” This is where James looks up from his hands for the first time, straight into Tony’s eyes, his gaze steadfast and honest. “And then I realized I had broken my promise—I had already hurt you.”

James sighs and runs his hand through his hair and swallows hard. “I understood that it was only a matter of time before HYDRA found me. We were lucky before that because no one suspected I could be with you. But under no circumstances did I want them to get you. I knew I had to go. That is why I did it.”

Tony nods slowly. “And then what? You just decided to go back to HYDRA?”

James laughs dryly, without a trace of humor in his voice. “Of course not. I went on the run. But in the end, no matter what I do, they always find me, don’t they?” His mouth twists into a grimace of self-hatred and resignation.

Not under my watch, no, Tony thinks to himself. Instead he says, “You broke my heart.” Because as reluctant as he is to show his vulnerability, this is James. And he’s always been able to be honest with James.

“I’m sorry,” James says in all earnestness.

“I’m not forgiving you for what you have done.”

“I understand.”

“Not yet at least.”

At that James’ gaze shoots up in surprise.

Tony clears his throat slightly shy. “I—I understand that the… brainwashing and stuff. That it wasn’t you. I just… I just need some time.” And it’s true. Tony had read the Winter Soldier’s files; he saw what they did to him and he understands on a completely rational level that it’s not James who is responsible for all those deaths.

He only needs his emotions to come to that understanding too and then he would truly be able to forgive him.

And really, as much as he always claims that he worked to bring the Avengers back together was because the world needed them, he knows the real motivations for it had been for James only. When Pepper had broken up with him because “there was someone else occupying his heart she could never reach” he hadn’t been able to contradict her. Seeing James again after all that time has only proven her right too.

“Tony…”

“Great, now that that’s settled, take my tablet and read me something,” Tony interrupts James before he can go any further, because there is only so much emotional talk Tony can handle in one day and that line has been exceeded a long while ago.

“I… what?”

“Read me something. I am a poor injured soul deserving to be properly pampered. And I want a good-night story.”

And as James slowly smiles brightly at him, gray eyes glinting in hope and wonder, it’s like not a single day has gone by since he disappeared on him.

Tony is still wary. Remembers only too well those days after James had left him. Can’t forget the Winter Soldier’s hand around his mother’s neck. His fingers itch with the urge to hold a drink, but he snuggles deeper into bed, letting James’ soothing voice and the story of a girl who finds a wonderland in a closet lull him into contentment.

Tony meets James for the first time in December 1991 in a seedy bar in Brooklyn and then a second time in 2016 in a Siberian bunker. He thinks that if against all odds their paths cross not only once, but twice, then maybe they should take a step forward together and see, where the path will lead them to.

And if they just believe strong enough in it, they might even find their wonderland for a second time too.

#may writes #may's moodboards #winteriron #buckytony #starkbucks #tony stark #bucky barnes #WI WEEK 2020 #WinterIron Week #angxlsgrxce #may answers #fucking finally finished this fic :)))#nothing went as it should've :)))#i am absolutely not happy at all how it turned out but at this point idc anymore <3 #wish this fic was a person so i could strangle it to death <3 #shall it burn in hell <3 #but yay! i finished it! :D

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bebopwhore · 4 years

Text

Ballad of The Nightmare: Spike Spiegel x Reader

A/N: hello! This is my first fanfic I’ve ever written or posted and I am so scared! I’m a Spike whore which is why I made this blog. There aren’t enough Spike fanfics/imagines anywhere and it kills me! Shoutout to @ificouldhelpyouforget for having the best Spike writing! If there are any other great ones I’m probably missing please send them my way. Anyway I hope people read and like this, requests are very much welcome:) would love to hear some feedback. I have a part 2 coming if people actually enjoy this!

ps There’s an episode reference and I’m aware Faye wasnt actually in the scene I talk about but it’s just for spice✨

Summary: You’re a part of the bebop crew and after seeing Spike fall from the cathedral window while fighting Vicious, you have a nightmare about the whole ordeal ending way worse than it did and go check on his injured self.

Warnings: a bit of violence, non detailed but mention of wounds, angsty, fluffy, a little language

Vicious was running, running straight toward me with fire in his eyes. He was an animal and there was no stopping him, he was so close to grabbing my black coat trailing behind me. Arms suddenly shove me away from him and I tumble down to the ground. It was an armed green haired figure in his long brown coat. A quick scream came out of my mouth as soon as I realized what he was doing and my voice felt gone. “SPIKE NO” I managed to let out but it was too late, his gun was flung away from him. Vicious had him pinned to the ground ready to shred him to bits with his Katana. I was shooting and shooting from the ground but nothing could stop vicious. His whole body was bulletproof in that moment. In midst of his struggle Spike slowly turned his head to look at me, the katana was against his chest about to go against our wishes. “I love you” he mouthed and I had started sobbing uncontrollably screaming his name for the last time.

Feeling like she was being watched y/n’s body shot up, waking almost immediately as soon as the katana started to cut into the chest of her green haired angel. Burying her head into her hands and knees, her head continued to throb the headache from just a few hours earlier. Images of Spike’s bandaged body from his fall at the cathedral just the night before kept flashing in her mind.

She was very bitter at Faye for leaving him by himself and wouldn’t stop yelling at her once they got on the bebop with Spike and his broken bones. Every time Spike was seriously hurt he would try not to dump his whole weight on to y/n’s side but this round he did. He was nearly lifeless and it scared the shit out of her .

Shivering, she sighed a defeated puff out of her mouth. “stupid good for nothing bitch” she breathed out. She loved Faye like a sister but hated the choices that girl would make sometimes.

I sat up slowly and got out of bed. In just my night tank and shorts I threw on a light jacket and quietly stepped out of my room, closing my door slowly and being mindful of Spike resting on the big yellow couch just a few feet away. I really needed pain relievers but I also really needed to check on him. My heart ached no matter how many times ive seen him in this condition. I worried for him all the time and this nightmare didn’t help. Heading straight to the kitchen first, making sure I made zero noise I took a Tylenol and gulped it down with water and hurried to go be with my sleeping beauty

With the intention of feeding Spike if he woke up I had an orange and a water bottle in hand. I crept slowly out of the kitchen in the dark with nothing but Ed’s monitors being my only source of light. I turn the corner and there he was, bandaged like a mummy, multiple cuts on his cheek. He was snoring very lightly with his lips parted. He looked like an Angel who just fell from the sky. I frowned and sat on the coffee table barely a few inches across from him and stared. Stared into his closed eyes, begging for them to lift up. He was in a deep sleep. I took in the rest of his body and fought so hard not to touch it. I loved seeing his bare chest and collarbones any time I could, even if they were covered in gauze. At the end of his hour long workouts I always made sure I was in the living room so I could see his bare torso and pulsing veins when he headed toward the shower. Hopefully he hadn’t caught on to that. He’d always smile when he’d see me and give me the usual “take a picture itll last longer” comment. He was a flirt and so was I but we never really touched each other. Only when it came to saving the other’s ass.

I recall the time we were in Ganymede and there was a shootout in a restaurant involving this cult rat group of siblings. Jet, Faye, Spike and I were having dinner and spying on our next hit. Out of nowhere bullets started flying everywhere and the four of us booked it under the table. As soon as I got under, Spike pulled my arm into him very quickly and held me to his chest, wrapping his arms around my head to protect it. Soon his whole body consumed me. That was the first time I’ve ever felt so safe in my life. But why didn’t he hold Faye instead? Or at least the both of us? She’s a woman too? I kept thinking afterward. I didn’t ask him in fear of the moment being ruined but you can count on Faye to say what everyone’s thinking. Spike ignored her and Faye ignored the both of us the rest of that day.

I didn’t realize I was smirking til my attention was brought back to Spike’s injuries. Blood was seeping through the bandages of his left arm, I gently grazed his wrist and opened his arm up to rest on my thighs. Carefully grabbing the emergency kit left next to me I began to wrap it up some more as it wasn’t time yet to change the bandages completely. Being very gentle I studied his face for movement, but nothing. I loved tending to him, all I wanted to do was take care of him. I softly place his arm back where it was and a breath of relief washed over me for not waking him. He’d probably think I was a weirdo if he found me here right in front of him rustling my fingertips gently through his hair. Although he did like it when I would do that whenever he’d fall asleep in random places on the Bebop and I had to wake him up to go to bed. I giggled softly at the memories and missed his voice and soft demeanor towards me.

“I miss you” I whispered, my finger tips still playing with his dark curls

I noticed my legs trembling out of lack of sleep. I shamelessly really wanted a smoke. Hesitant to leave him and without even thinking I kissed his forehead and snuck into his room and stole one cigarette. His scent consumed me the second I stepped in and I wanted nothing more than to stay in there.

I walked out and promised myself as soon as morning came i’ll fly out to Mars and get him a few more packs. I never owned any which is the funny part, Spike would always just give me his when he’d know I needed one.

I walked into the dark control center and peered out into the universe and lit the cancerous thing. I turned away from the windows and lounged on top of Jet’s shogi table. Feeling my back giving out, I laid down grimacing at the slight soreness my back pleaded. Feeling an empty void in my chest I mentally begged for Spike’s precense there with me. My eyes started to water.My biggest fear was him ending up dead before I told him how I felt about him.

I sat up as the tears started streaming faster and dabbed them away with my sleeve and I proceeded to consume myself in nicotine once again. I looked to my right and peered at Spike’s punching bag. Wanting nothing more than to be sitting here watching him release his anger on it when he would do so.

A knock came from the doorway

Oh shit

#cowboy bebop #spike spiegel #anime #gif #fanfic #fan fiction #spike spiegel imagine #cowboy bebop fan fiction #fluff #angst #angsty

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bluehairedboyhcs · 4 years

Text

It’s you.

SallyxReader

Pt 1/2

Smut (in next chapter 👀)

Slight angst

AFAB/cis girl reader. I’m sorry I shamelessly wrote this as a self insert at 5 am half asleep because of a dream I had so... yeah. Don’t worry I got you guys and non-binary friends covered in the future I promise 💙

Sally gets a little angsty but it comes back around I promise.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

You, Sally, and Larry were chilling in the basement playing video games and smoking a bowl. Your night had gone as usual. Friendly teasing and poking fun at eachother. However things quickly escalate when Larry decides to poke Sals buttons in the way he knows will get him REALLY pissed

— — —

“Laaaarrryyyy!”

You let out a whine of protest. Larry just killed you for the third time in a row after countless efforts to steal his flag. He was camping, and it was pissing you off.

He leaned back in his beanbag and set his controller down with a sigh.

“That’s just the way of the game babygirl”

You rolled your eyes and followed suit. Leaning back, you crossed your arms and let out a defeated huff.

“You know I don’t like it when you call me that...”

Larry chuckled.

“That’s why I do it. To get on your nerves!”

Before he could finish his statement he had already lunged at you to give you a Noogie.

“Pfft.”

The both of you look towards an aggravated Sally. He was sitting on Larry’s bed flipping through a guitar catalog. Even though you couldn’t see his facial expression, you could always tell when he was feeling a certain way.

“So are you guys gonna kiss or something or can we wrap this up”

“SALLY!”

“What? You act like there isn’t a thick, suffocating smog of sexual tension in this room right n- HEY! What the fuck!?”

You threw your shoe at him.

Larry grabbed the bowl from his pocket and began to pack it.

“Is it that time of month again Mrs. Fisher?”

Sally grumbled under his breath and slammed the catalog shut

“Fuck you guys.”

He stomped over to where you and Larry were sitting. Larry lit the bowl and took a few tokes as Sally plopped on the ground and sat criss cross.

Larry laughed and coughed at the same time.

“Oh so your just gonna swear me out then smoke up all my pot?!”

Sal rolled his eyes.

“You owe me for last week anyway.”

Laughing one more time, Larry nodded and passed the pipe to you.

“You know I’m just messing with you right? I’m not actually into Y/N.”

“As if I’d give a shit.”

That one stung a little bit. You and Sally had known eachother for about four years now. At the beginning of Sophomore year you were the new kid at nockfell and Sally immediately was looking out for you. He was so kind to you all the time and he made sure you were always comfortable and safe. Of course you had formed a crush on him. How could you not? He was perfect, from his cute mannerisms, to his kind soul, and let’s not forget that adorable hair style. Nowadays things were different though. Anytime you wanted to get close to him he’d end up getting annoyed and push away. You had suspicions that Sally could have a crush on you since he got EXTRA annoyed when Larry flirted with you, but just incase that wasn’t true, you decidied you would never bring it up. You still valued Sally’s friendship and you weren’t willing to mess that up just because of some mixed signals.

“Ouch.”

You passed the pipe to Sally.

Things got awkwardly quiet for a while as the pipe mad a few rotations.

“Well... I’ve the munchies and I could go for a 7/11 slurpee right about now. Want anything while I’m out?”

Larry stood up and grabbed his keys.

“Cherry.”

“I’m good, but thank you”

Larry sighed and eyed the both of you before opening the door.

“Hahhhh... suit yourselves.”

The door closed with a click and suddenly you and Sally were left alone in silence.

The two of you sat quietly passing the pipe to eachother until Sal broke the silence.

“Damn, the bowls done. Larry has the pot on him so we’re out of luck.”

He got up and walked to the bed, throwing his body on it upon arrival causing the bed to bounce a few times.

The awkward silence continued for a while longer. You looked at Sal. He was staring up at the ceiling with his arm tucked behind his head. You thought to yourself “Wow he looks comfy.” Looking back on your highschool days, you and Sal used to be very close. Both of you were so touched starved that whenever either of you were sad about something, you would cuddle and talk it out. All of it was strictly plutonic, but nevertheless, you missed those days dearly.

This time it was your turn to break the silence.

“Hey Sal.”

“Yeah?”

His voice was so low and raspy. It was one of your favorite parts about him. It always sounded like he was sleep deprived and groggy, which he was.

“I’m a little sad. Can we talk?”

“... Sure”

You walk over to the bed and sit on the edge. Extending your arms bashfully. You hadn’t asked him to cuddle in a long time. Waaaay before he started acting all angsty so you weren’t sure how this was going to end. Hopefully with your head on his chest.”

Sally looked confused for a second. He huffed, contemplating whether he should accept or decline. Thankfully he opened his arms back to you. You smiles and cuddled up to him. You laid your head on his chest and wrapped your arms around his waist. You listened to his breathing. How you missed listening to the slow in and out of his breath and his thumping heart beat in the background. He placed his hand on your head and raked his fingers through your hair.

“So, what’s up.”

“Well I was going to ask you if you didn’t like me anymore but I think it’s safe to say you don’t hate me since we’re cuddling again.”

Sal let out a soft chuckle.

“No this is a pity cuddle... What did you think this is was?”

You both laughed. Burying your head into his neck you rephrased your question.

“No, but really. Why are you being so mean nowadays? Did I do something wrong?”

Sally sighed and took of his prosthetic. You had already seen his face plenty of times. Sadly it was another thing that had become a rarity nowadays. You could now comfortably bury your face in his neck without a big hunk of plastic in your way.

“I don’t know if I’m being honest... Well I can guess... I’ve been on new meds, nightmares have gotten worse recently. I don’t know, Larry has been pissing me off too lately.”

“Oh.”

Sal took a deep breath and let it back out.

“And... there’s this girl.”

“G-girl?”

“Yeah...”

“Oh...”

“She’s really funny and cute and I like her a lot and she makes my heart melt and my heart beat gets faster when i’m around her and I just don’t know what to do because I’m no where near ready for a relationship right now.”

“Wow... that’s a lot to take in.”

“Sorry...”

“It’s okay.”

Sally rolled onto his side and pulled you closer to him, cradling your head close to his chest.

“What do I do?”

You stayed silent, processing all of the information the he just spewed at you. After thinking about it for a while you knew what you had to tell him. You wanted him to be happy, and if his happiness was with some other girl, you were okay with that.

“Do you think she’s willing to wait?”

“Mayb-”

“Tell her. Tell her to wait for you. If she really cares enough she’ll wait till your ready.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Alright...”

At some point during that exchange a tear had fallen down your cheek. It really hurt to let go of him. The boy you’ve been crushing on since Sophomore year, but you needed to let him go.

You sat up.

“Well if that’s the case we should probably get farther away from eachother, huh?”

You force a laugh and begin to scoot away but Sal grabs your arm.

“Yes, Sally?”

Sally’s face was red and his palm that was placed on your arm was sweaty.

“Well... why would I need to do that when she’s... sitting right here?”

“Wha-”

“It’s you, Y/N. Your the girl...”

Your mind went blank. Malfunction. Now way he just said that.

“Well, I already told you that I’m not ready for a relationship but if your willing to wait...”

“Can I kiss you.”

Sal sat there quietly, surprised that you had the balls to just say that. He made a noise in the back of his throat before laughing.

“Yes, please do.”

He cups your cheeks, pulled you close and gently kissed you. You hadn’t ever kissed anyone so gentle before. It was nice. Gentle, like him, the old Sally.

He pulled away and looked at you with a wide grin.

“How was that?”

“Better then I ever imagined”

“Uuuuuhhhh...”

Larry stood at the doorway holding two slurpees, his mouth hanging wide open.

“Larry!!”

“What the FUCK did I miss?”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

End: pt 1/2

Hope you enjoyed it! Things get steamy in the next chapter so STRAP IN BITCHES!

#ash campbell #ashley campbell #ashley campbell x reader #larry johnson #larry johnson x reader #sal fisher #sallyface #sal fisher x reader #sally x reader #todd morrison

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k-writer1998 · 4 years

Text

Unexpected Answers

Prompt fic: lighthouse keeper! changbin x marine biologist! reader

angsty fluff

w.c: 2.4k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You can't convince me that the ocean isn't haunted."

“Y/n you literally study the ocean for a living what do you mean?”

“Exactly, that’s why I’m saying this from a scientific perspective.”

“Scientific my ass.”

“Don’t you have a lighthouse to run? Felix has got to stop forgetting his access card,” I roll my eyes. “He’s just lucky he’s the best marine vet around or he would be in big trouble by now.”

“Don’t act like you don’t like having me come visit,” he teased.

“You’re right. The marine life like your face, it’s easier for me to check on them with you around.”

“So what I’m hearing is that you need me.”

“Wipe that stupid grin off your face. The fish may like it but I’m not a fan.”

I don’t know what it is about Seo Changbin but our personalities just don’t match, especially when he purposely annoys me like this. I’ve told him after meeting him almost a year ago that I don’t do well with flirty lines. At first it was funny, almost cute even, but it was relentless and the only way I knew to react was to give him flat responses. After all this time this is what has become of us. As per usual, he followed me around as I went to check on my animals and when I said they like Changbin… they literally flock to him. It usually takes a bit of coaxing to get them to come but with Changbin it's like they see one of their own. By the time I was on my lunch we ended up in Felix’s office so Changbin could return his access card.

“Ah, there it is. I had to get a temp from Nayeon-noona… she’s annoyed with me,” Felix laughs.

“Don’t worry Lix I always got you.”

“Yes worry, remember so Changbin doesn’t have to keep coming around.”

“Don’t be like that, I’m a fun friend to have around and you know it.”

“I wouldn’t say “friend” but we aren’t strangers I guess,” I say as I take a bite of my sandwich.

“Wow after all this time you can’t even call me a friend? You wound me y/n.”

“We barely know anything about each other, can we really call that friendship?”

I noticed Felix watching our bickering with careful eyes and decided to mind my business when he suddenly blurted to Changbin that they needed to talk in private before Changbin was practically dragged out of the room. I shook my head, this was literally Felix’s office. I could’ve just left. I continued to eat in this new found silence as I thought back to Felix’s odd behavior. I mean yeah him and Changbin have always been a bit odd but at least most of the time it was subtle or they covered it well but what’s this “news” that has Felix acting weirder than the normal amount he exudes? By the time the boys came back I had several possible reasons in mind but with all this secrecy I can’t ask up front. Changbin spent the rest of the day with me in my office as I inputted the data for the day where he asked countless questions. He really meant it when he wanted to learn more about me in order to be friends. After my fifth typo, because my fingers were typing the words coming out of my mouth, I glared at the boy.

“Changbin what’s with the questions? If you want to hang out can I at least finish my report so we won’t be here all night?”

“Well you said I don’t really know you so I’m trying to get to know you better…”

Unlike his usual loud cheerful, or sometimes flirty, tone he spoke in a small voice as he looked down at his hands like a child being scolded. He’s always so open to bothering me, to suddenly see him in this state… Was I too harsh earlier? I soften as my eyes analyze him.

“Does it really bother you that I said I didn’t consider us friends?”

“We spend a lot of time together, isn’t that already being friends?” He mumbles, a pout forming.

If I didn’t already have my preconceived notions- actually even if I do, that pout and this new side of Changbin were both endearing. Did something happen when Felix talked to him?

"Well spending time with someone doesn't mean you know them but I was a bit harsh earlier. We are friends, just maybe not the closest," I smile.

"Do you mean it or are you just saying that so I stop bothering you?"

"If I didn't mean it I wouldn't let you follow me around against regulations all the time."

This brought a smile to his face but there was still a distant look in his eyes. Okay whatever was said in that private conversation really got to him. The scientist in me was curious and although I’m never one to be nosy, this one eighty flip in his mood can be the exception.

“Changbin are you okay? You seem upset after talking to Felix.”

“Yeah… there’s just more on my mind now cause he reminded me of a promise I have to keep.”

“What kind of promise?”

“I can’t really say, but it’s a promise I have to keep even if I don’t want to.”

He gave a sad smile as his eyes searched my concerned expression. Even though I wanted to, I couldn’t ask further when it’s obvious that he wants to keep it a secret. After finally finishing my report, Changbin walked me to my car. Before I got in Changbin stopped me.

“You said we can hang out right? You’re off tomorrow so come with me somewhere.”

“How do you- actually nevermind, yeah sure. Where are we going?” I gave a confused laugh.

“It’s a surprise. I’ll pick you up at noon… be sure to wear a bathing suit.”

With a mysterious smile he was off before I could ask any more questions. The next day after a quick lunch somehow we found ourselves at a cave Changbin found that only appears during low tide. Staring down at the contents of his backpack, I understood the secrecy.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.This is payback for yesterday isn’t it?”

“Oh come on, I’m not that petty. This is completely safe, promise, I won’t let anything happen. At least I’m not taking you diving or maybe a ghost might get you,” he teased.

“Shut up, snorkeling is still… I don’t know.”

“I can’t have you being the only marine biologist to be scared of the ocean. Just trust me.”

“I trust you but I’m pretty sure you don’t have control over the ocean.”

“You never know, maybe I do,” he laughs before the look in his eyes soften, “It’ll just be for a bit okay? If you don’t like it after we can stop.”

I eyed him skeptically for a few moments before reluctantly agreeing. He beamed and handed me the snorkeling gear before we discarded our outer clothes. Let me clarify. I do not hate the water, I love swimming, but the ocean is vast and there’s still a lot we don’t know so it scares me a bit. Yet after getting used to using the gear, I let Changbin lead me under the water by my hand cause I was scared to go under. He led me to the cave’s outer edge to see a small reef hidden in the rocks. The coral and the sight of the little fish around us was breathtaking. With all the excitement my fears slowly ebbed away as I eagerly pointed things out to Changbin. After a while Changbin gingerly pulled my arm and we swam back, both of us beaming.

“Still think the ocean is haunted?”

“I’ll correct my statement, the deep sea is haunted,” I stuck out my tongue at him.

“Well glad you’re warming up to the ocean, but we need to get out of here before the tide rises.”

With that we dried off and headed back to the beach just walking and talking about everything. It was like the air around us changed for the better and maybe he wasn’t annoying after all. By the time he dropped me off at my house, the sun had started to set. At my front door, we were saying goodbye when Changbin started to lean in. My hand flew to stop him subconsciously as I tried to process this moment.

“What? I thought the date went well,” he blinked at me as his eyes scanned my face.

“Date? This was a date?”

“Wasn’t it? I thought you’ve realized it by now…”

The pain etched onto his features broke a part of me I didn’t even know existed. My brain whirred to process all this but before my voice could come out he quickly spurted out a dismissal and apology before running off, leaving me flabbergasted at the door. A whole storm of emotions swirled inside me since that day, one of the big ones being guilt. He hasn’t been to the institute or the lighthouse… it’s almost like he disappeared. A few days turned into a few weeks and still nothing. My only link to him, Felix, was no help cause he always danced around the questions or was too vague to get any real answers. All I know is that Changbin went home, he can’t use his phone, and he possibly won’t come back. Well… the last one is a deduction made literally because Felix can never give me a straight answer whenever I ask, the responses are just various forms of “it’s complicated”.

After yet another failed conversation with Felix today, I decided to get off early. Checking the time, I had ample time to go to the cave before the tide rose. I’ve been there a few times after that day because I miss him but I didn’t have the courage to go into the water since, but today was the day. After mentally preparing myself, I pulled on my newly bought snorkeling gear and swam down to the reef again but it didn’t feel as vibrant as that time with Changbin. It was dull, so after a while I swam back to the cave in defeat. Little did I know, the tide had risen and it wasn’t until I saw my bag floating past my face that it finally clicked. This is why you should focus on things at hand rather than about useless things like a guy who tried to kiss me then left town! In my panic to get back to the opening, I nicked my shin on a jagged rock and the burning sensation from salt on my would caused me to scream and lose what little oxygen I had left. I was close to the opening when shadows encroached my vision and to make it worse I started hallucinating Changbin swimming to me… but it couldn’t be, no matter how realistic it felt to feel his arms around my waist. My eyes fluttered closed and I was about to black out when suddenly I wasn’t in the water anymore. Instead I was sprawled on the sand, coughing up a lung to get the excess water out, when I finally took in the boy beside me and snapped.

“What the hell?! Where have you been Changbin?! I was scared you wouldn’t come back…”

“That’s what you’re screaming at me for? Not the glaring silver tail in place of my legs?”

“I mean yes there are a LOT of questions about that but I prefer to move in chronological order.”

He looked gobsmacked at my nonchalant response but I mean yeah I have questions about the fact he’s basically a merman but seeming as though he saved my life, I’m safe. I looked at him, waiting for an answer, and he took a moment to shake the surprise before he did.

“I wasn’t supposed to come back… I made a deal with my parents that I had one year to fulfill my desire on the surface world or I had to go back and assume my role as… uhm prince…”

“Prin- Wait, what was the deal and how would they know your desire was fulfilled?”

He held out his palm and showed me a pearl that was slightly pink. Naturally this darker shade of the color shouldn’t be a possibility but I mean a merman is literally sitting in front of me.

“This pearl was white, the closer I get to my goal the more pink it turns.”

“Well what’s your desire? It’s not completely white so you kind of did it.”

“Do you remember how we first met?”

“Yeah cause Felix forgot his access card and you brought it over, how is that relevant?”

“It’s relevant because that wasn’t the first time we met. We met on the beach one morning when we were sixteen and we both happen to “run away” from home… You were my desire y/n.”

Now it was my turn to gape at the boy in front of me. I remember that time, it was early and I couldn’t remember the guy’s face… His final statement repeated in my mind as the two lines of thought crossed. I could feel his eyes intently on me but I had to check something first.

“When was the first day you came to the surface world?”

“The day we met again.”

“Then why did you leave like that when there was still time?”

“I thought you hated me after how you reacted so I decided to take the L early.”

“Well if you stayed you could’ve figured out it wasn’t actually an L…”

“What?!”

“After that day we went snorkeling I realized why I was always mean when you said flirty dumb things. It wasn’t because I found them annoying, but coming from you they made me flustered. So while not knowing my own feelings, when you leaned in I panicked because-”

I was cut off by his lips crashing onto mine and after the events of the day, I just enjoyed the moment. Once he pulled away he had a boyish grin on his face. Not being able to take the full charm of the smile, I looked away and noticed the now bright pink pearl in his hand.

“So you like me too right?”

“See the pearl for yourself. Just a few days shy of our 1 year friendaversary too. You get to stay now right?”

“Yup. It’s all on my sister now,” he laughs.

“So now onto this,” I gestured to his tail sitting in the baby waves, “does Felix know or-”

“He’s a merman too. Before you ask, yes we understand what marine life says.”

“It makes sense why he always knew what was wrong! He could just understand the animals!”

#stray kids #skz #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #skz scenarios #skz imagines #seo changbin #changbin scenarios #changbin imagines #stray kids oneshots #changbin oneshots #my writing #skz gc prompts

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soulwillower · 4 years

Text

narcissist • bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x reader)

(title taken by the song narcissist by no rome)

requested: hi i was wondering if you could do another fan-fiction of bill denbrough x reader and bill used to be friends with the reader until he became popular and started bulling the reader also the other losers are popular too so the reader has no other friends. when ever she comes home shes ussually crying or blaring music oh and her parents only care about there job then there daughter but you can do whatever you want from there

warning: swearing, mentions of shitty parents, mentions of bullying, lil angsty, fluffy ending, unedited and poorly written

[losers + reader are 16+ in this.]

hi i may come back and edit this bc i think its choppy, also the user that requested this deactivated their account sometime since i last talked to them :( i hope they’re okay <33 this is for them!

2.2k words

♡

it was one of those days that really should have been fantastic.

you woke up happy and not tired, you had the chance to actually make it to school on time and grab an apple on your way out the door, your parents even said good-bye to you as you left. and then today at lunch, you were eating on your own and you didn't quite feel as lonely - after that, nobody had come towards you and shoves your shoulder in the hall or knocked your books out of your grasp.

so yeah, it wasn't much but you take what you get, honestly.

and now you're walking home, headphones in your ears and drowning out the world around you as music blares at you from all sides, consuming your thoughts and creating a sense of security that you never found within the walls of your own home nor the halls of your school.

"y/l/n!" a voice barks, and you turn your head quickly, startled as you pull a headphone out of your ear. your stomach falls to your ass as you lock eyes with the only face you didn't want to see staring back at you.

bill denbrough.

he looks completely hazardous as he walks towards you, a teasing smirk on his lips. you already want to cry and he's not even opened his mouth yet - but you know when he does you'll loose the tiny shred of hope you had left for a good day, because he made your life a living hell.

well, you suppose it wasn't really just him, but he certainly didn't help whenever he would snicker at the words uttered by your peers, or the way his mouth seemed to tease you just as much as his eyes did.

and if your life was a silent film, bill had the means to force your world into an array of technicolor screams and and an endless, torturous laugh track that started with a joke at your expense and continued through your day until you ran into your indifferent parents as they stared at their laptop screens and barked work orders into their phones. everything you did, bill's domineering laugh haunted it.

and you know bill could take your silver screen tragedy and turn it into a major motion picture film starring you, the sad delinquent without a caring family and a disputably unappealing social life, and him - the star boy of the town, the dream boat, the handsome devil himself.

he could do that, but instead he just continues his ways, every day hurting your already smashed-out heart and stomping it into a messy pulp on the ground he floats upon.

although despite this, you know he wasn't ever really the one saying it. it doesn't matter, because he stands there and watches as you're berated and sometimes even cracks that brilliant smile of his at a real funny jest at your expense - and that was the most painful part of every day. because you used to be friends. you used to bring that same smile out all the time.

but in a much, much different way.

you and bill had a falling out so long ago that you barely remember what it was like to have him always by your side. all you can remember is feeling the complete opposite of how you now feel - you used to feel so powerful. but you'd gone and lashed out at bill after the stress of your absent parents, resulting in you doing some very terrible things that caused him to abandon you and find new friends.

"d-did you hear me?" he says with a lifted brow, staring down at you with a boldly irritated look. your throat feels dry and you shake your head, "leave me alone, bill." you squeak out, your legs starting to carry yourself faster down the sidewalk towards your neighborhood. but of course, there's that damn laugh again and his long legs carry him back to you effortlessly.

"i s-said, m-mrs. graham told me she lent you a copy of the s-scarlet letter. i need it."

you swivel your head to stare at him. "what." you say, completely unsure of the complete lack of animosity behind his words. is that why he's here? he needs something from you? you want to scream as you let your feet fall against the pavement, nearing closer and closer to your house.

"you r-really are a d-dumbass, aren't you? i said i n-need the book." he says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. what's he doing, walking with you right now, asking to borrow a book? he's not your friend, as he reminds you every day, so why is he suddenly trying to act like it? "well i don't have it." you say honestly, "it's in my room. get it from one of your friends." you utter, mind flashing to the faces of the losers who, really, were absolutely not considered losers by a popularity standpoint.

the losers were the life of every party, they were the 'cream of the crop,' they were the most popular kids in school. and as much as you hated to admit it, they were the reason that you weren't friends with bill anymore. you and him were the best of friends when you were younger; your moms had been friends for a long time and when they both had kids the same age, it was like a match made in heaven. so for the first fourteen years of your life, you and bill were close to the point that you somehow fell for him along the way.

which is why it hit even harder when you went to high school and the losers started to pull bill away from you unintentionally. and even the losers didn't mean to do it. other people loved bill because of his charismatic, gently leading nature. they loved him because he was handsome and funny and caring.

and they hated you, so bill had to start conforming to that stereotype. and now, almost four years later, you still flinch when you catch a glimpse of the losers in the hallway or when you meet a certain pair of green eyes.

"n-none of my friends have it, y/n. that's wh-why i'm asking y-you." he insists and you swear you're about to scream or cry. maybe both.

in the end, he follows you to your house and you dig out the scarlet letter.

"fine, i gave it to you, will you leave me alone?" you mumble as you turn to meet bill, who hasn't moved a muscle since grabbing the book. bill huffs beside you, a strange and unexpected silence falling over you as the air changes in the room.

his eyes are swimming over your empty walls and you're suddenly embarrassed because you have no photos of you with friends to hand up. and he can see that. "you ch-changed your r-room." he says next, rocking on his heels.

you're so nervous about what he's going to say that you almost stutter like him. "y-yeah, of course i have since middle school." you reason, looking around and noticing all the ways it's changed since he and you were friends. now the walls are a new color, posters of your favorite bands hanging up, covering the spots where photos of you and bill and even georgie used to hang proudly. you aren't sure where those photos are anymore, but you know they're not here. it still hurts too much to look at them.

"why? i liked it b-before." he says, sounding honest. your heart drops and you look up at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“you’re joking.” you say, arms crossed. he glares at you, the animosity obvious in his green eyes. “you know why i changed it all.” “what, y/n? i don’t know what you want from me.” he snaps and you nearly scream at the irony of his statement. “you’re a narcissistic dick, you know.” you mutter, crossing your arms. and you believe it, which makes it even worse to realize that you still love him, despite that. you sigh, sitting on your bed and dropping your face into your hands.

slowly, the mattress dips beside you and a warm body slides next to you. you look at him out of the corner of your eye suspiciously.

“y/n.” he whispers, but this time his voice is soft and you’re just confused. he looks at you, eyes flickering downwards a few times and confusing you. until he’s leaning forward and his eyes are closing and... oh god -

you jerk your head away from him like he's a hot pan and he opens his eyes and stares at you. you want to fucking sob. "bill, are you kidding?" you whispering, noting how broken you sound to yourself.

your mouth continues before your brain can filter it. "come on. i can put up with the incessant teasing, the rude remarks, the dirty looks. whatever. but if you're going to try and make fun of me in this way..." you trail off, afraid that if you keep going you'll actually cry. he looks lost and nervous.

"can you just leave?" you whisper, avoiding his eyes and picking at the hem of your sleeve.

"y-y/n, but-" he starts but you let out a half sob, "no, bill, this is not funny. this is really fucked up." you say, the words slicing through the air like a sizzling knife.

"its n-not a j-joke." he says quietly, but he stands up and scratches his neck. your eyes snap up to watch him with an apprehensive feeling of hope blossoming in your chest. as he turns to leave, you catch his wrist. he looks at you, cheeks red and a defeated look across his features. "what did you say?" you ask quietly. he just looks at you, as if he doesn't want to say it again.

and you can’t believe he won't willingly say it - because he’s that ashamed.

"you've made my life hell, bill. you can't just act like everything's changed because you tried kiss me just so you could make fun of me." you say, tired of his shit, "you're a terrible person for what you've done, especially if you know that i still have feelings-" you try to cut off your frustrated ramblings but it happens too late and you sigh. "leave." you say simply, dropping his wrist.

he kneels down instead, though, so he can try and meet your downward tilted eyes. "p-please, y/n. i'm s-sorry. i don't want to h-hurt you any-more." he whispers, tears welling in his eyes. you look at him, shocked to hear him sound so vulnerable. you realize you aren't sure when the last time was you heard him sound so sincere.

"i kn-know you can't f-forgive me. i don’t d-deserve that. b-but maybe, one d-day, you'll s-see that i feel r-really awful. a-and i need to make a ch-change." he's saying these words and it's like your world is clicking by one still frame at a time and you realize fleetingly that he's done it - bill denbrough has finally turned your life into a major motion picture.

"so... that-what was-" you stammer and bill shakes his head, leaning closer and gently placing his hand on your jaw. you don't flinch this time.

"i w-wanted to kiss you for r-real, b-because... because i've w-wondered what it would f-feel like for y-years." he says, staring into your eyes. “so i’m s-sorry to put you in th-that situation. i-it’s just a crush, y-you don’t have to w-worry.”

your heart starts flipping as you stare at him, lips parted in shock. "what?" you ask, feeling dumb because no way is this happening.

no way is bill denbrough, the boy who learned just how to make your bad days just a little worse, confessing that he's wanted to kiss you for a while. and no way are you admitting to yourself the same thing.

“i l-like you, i think. i w-want to know you a-again. i hate not talking to you e-every day.” he says, staring into your eyes. you smile lightly, resolve breaking and he beams, happier than you’ve ever seen him.

so yeah, it was one of those days that really should have been fantastic. and as you sigh a shaky breath and lean forward, bill closes the gap with a soft press of his lips to yours and you suddenly dont care what the day should have been, because you have a feeling that what's happening is going to change the course of the rest of your life.

his lips are a presence against yours; a force that knocks the wind out of your chest as his hand caresses your cheek and lightly licks your bottom lip. you’re putty in his hands, and you both know it.

you just have to trust him.

as you pull away, though, you take one look at him and realize that yes, he will wait for you because this is bill, and he will show you how much he cares.

"c-can i stay? p-please." he asks, looking insecure and making you smile softly. "yeah, bill, of course you can."

he smiles fully, pulling you into his chest before rising up to flop on your bread, star fishing and tugging you to lay with him. you laugh slightly, heart pounding just as hard as his own

"we have homework, bill." you state, knowing the boy despite all that you'd been through. he grumbles, nuzzling his nose into your shoulder with red cheeks. your stomach flutters with nerves and butterflies.

#bill denbrough x reader #losers x reader #losers club x reader

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phantom-curve · 4 years

Text

find the strength, find the melody pt. 8

oof I don’t know if I actually like this chapter or not. imposter syndrome has taken up residence in my brain and it’s not looking to move out anytime soon. hopefully this is better than I’m giving myself credit for.

I’m gonna try and get on a more regular schedule of updating this weekly. I think we’ve got one more part to day three and then a chapter each for days four & five. there might also be another middle of the night chapter, trying to figure out if it fits into the timeline like I want it to or not. you get some sneak peaks of angsty Luke in this part which I’m kind of excited about. can’t be all soft boy all the time. gotta get that ~dimension~

also, I wrote a one-shot of Ray and Rose’s first date that was referenced waaaay back in pt. 6! it’s also the story of Tia Victoria’s 21st birthday that was referenced in pt. 7! I really love it which isn’t something I’ve felt about my writing lately so you should check it out.

taglist: @blue-hat-girl, @lwhoscribbles, @bluefyoto94, @5sosmukefan, @moonlightxnder, @leahthewonder, @kat-maybe-not, @lukewearingbeanies, @imastrugglingartist

Julie had expected a mess of sloppy, overlapping notes and kinks that would need to be quickly smoothed out by Friday’s performance. She had been ready to go into the Showcase and just give it their best, hoping that maybe they would sound somewhat coherent, but not really expecting much all the same. A band couldn’t be built in a day. It was part of why she thought Luke’s plan was so insane. She couldn’t have been more wrong if she tried.

Within the first three run-throughs of the song things just seemed to click into place. It was like she had been playing with them her entire life. The longer they played, the more they slipped naturally into their role as bandmates. The energy in the room, the chemistry between the four of them, was palpable. She knew they could feel it too.

It was the way Reggie turned to her at the exact moment she moved towards him, playing off of her as she gave into her need to move to the bassline vibrating through her feet. It was how Alex’s face lit up with a kind of unrestrained joy she had never seen before, face shining as he nodded his head in time with his tapping foot when she turned towards him. They laughed together as she flipped her hair out of her eyes at the exact same time he did, completely in sync as they moved to the rhythm created by his fast-moving sticks. It was every single part of Luke.

His head, tilting to the side to call her to him just as she began to drift closer to his side. His voice, blending with hers like they had been made to sing together. His eyes, drilling into hers as she held her microphone out for them to share. His fingers, so sure on the strings beneath them that he didn’t once break their stare down. The tension she had felt simmering between them for the last few days exploded. They felt it at the exact same moment as their most seamless playthrough of the song came to a close.

Julie’s voice rang out beyond the instruments as she held her final note a beat longer than everyone else. She could hear the sound of Reggie and Alex’s voices rising with enthusiasm as they talked, but she couldn’t make out their words. Everything felt a little soft on the edges as Luke gazed at her with so much awe she thought she would float off the ground. He made her feel transcendent. Like the celestial being he claimed her to be. It was hard to feel like she wasn’t in Heaven when he looked at her like that. Her breath caught in her throat. He opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly she was being jostled from behind, her moment with Luke broken. Her feet stumbled as leather-clad arms wrapped around her tightly, sweeping her into a clumsy spin.

“Julie! That was amazing!”

Reggie’s voice was sparkling, and she couldn’t help but laugh softly, giving into the all-consuming feeling of happiness that was bubbling up inside of her. They came to a stop as a longer pair of arms covered in soft pink cotton pulled them close. Julie met Alex’s eyes, giving him a grateful smile as the studio finally came back into focus. He beamed back at her, completely relaxed and damn near glowing.

“I gotta agree with Reg for once.”

Julie giggled as Reggie let out an indignant shout, lips slipping into a pout. Alex ignored him, releasing his hold on both of them, but still talking to Julie.

“Seriously, Julie, I totally see what Luke has been saying. He was right, you’re perfect.”

Julie felt hot all the way from the top of her head down to the tips of her toes. She gave Luke a side-eyed glance, heart tripping as she caught the quick expression of embarrassed betrayal on his face. So, he had actually used the word ‘perfect’ to describe her. He had talked about her to his boys, and not just as a musician. This wasn’t only about the music. She knew that, or she should have known that by now, but to be faced with it so plainly was something else entirely. Luke attempted to slip into a casual slouch, but his hand scratching at the back of his neck gave away the nerves he was feeling as his gaze slipped back over to hers. Julie gulped, breathing out slowly.

“What can I say? You definitely make us better.”

Another attempt at a nonchalant shrug that was foiled by his still-scratching hand and slight vocal crack. Julie’s heart raced, her stomach flipping low in her gut. So, this is what a real crush feels like. Julie had crushed on boys before, or so she had thought. Never before had she felt like this. She hadn’t actually known the other boys she had been attracted to. Not in the way she was beginning to realize she knew Luke. She had kept herself at a distance from them, building up a fantasy in her mind as to what type of person they were and what it would be like to see that fantasy come to life. Her crushes had always been somewhat superficial and definitely unobtainable. Luke was neither one of those things. He was right here. She knew him. Connected with him on a level deeper than should be possible after only three days, but it was undeniable all the same. Her soul whispered that she had always known him, she had simply been waiting for him to return to his true home within her heart all this time.

Luke was shifting uneasily on his feet, just like earlier in the day when he realized he had taken his bold declarations a step too far. Only this time, Julie realized she liked when he did that. The way he built her up without even trying, an endless supply of support and admiration falling from his lips so easily. Julie simultaneously wanted to reassure him and also continue needling him because the way his words made her feel was a high like no other. His eyes crinkled at the edges, smile softening just for her. She gave in to the temptation to touch him, reaching up to lightly grasp his wrist. The scratching finally stopped, and Julie gave a special soft smile of her own.

“I think we make each other better. That’s a great song, Luke. Thank you for doing this for me.”

Julie released her grip and lowered her hand, biting her lip slightly. She didn’t miss the way that Luke’s ears tinged pink, his arm hovering in the air for a second as he processed her words. Their eyes locked, a million fleeting emotions passing between them in seconds, their own form of silent communication. With Luke, Julie was learning that there was a lot more in the things left unsaid than the things that he let slip out. Her words meant more to him than he would ever be able to express and she wondered if that related back to something with Bobby or something with his parents. Maybe even both. The moment stretched on, the rest of the studio melting away in the background. Until Reggie’s whisper broke through.

“I see chemistry.”

The twin slaps of Alex’s hand on his forehead and Luke’s hand falling to his thigh echoed in the otherwise silent space. Julie felt her cheeks burn, breaking away from Luke’s gaze to face the other boys once again. She really had to stop letting herself get swept up in him. Especially when they had such an observant audience. Her eyes darted to the clock behind them, surprised to find several hours had already passed. Her dad would probably be calling her up for dinner soon. Right on cue, the studio doors rattled and opened. Carlos, framed by the setting sun behind him, studied the group of teenagers.

“So, this is your boy band?”

“Boy band! Who you callin ‘boy band’?!”

Luke’s indignant shout would have been funny if Julie wasn’t hyperaware of how close she was still standing to him. Carlos’s skeptical brown eyes darted back and forth between them like he could tell he had missed out on a golden opportunity to embarrass her. He smirked slightly, crossing his arms as he regarded Luke.

“I mean, you’re boys in a band. Ergo, boy band.” His hands lifted in a falsely innocent shrug. “I don’t make the rules.”

Reggie giggled as Luke’s jaw dropped slightly, stunned into silence by her brother’s sass. Even Alex was fighting back a grin. Reggie stepped closer to Carlos, whipping out his hand for a high-five.

“Up top, little dude!”

Carlos’s smirk melted into a genuine smile as he lifted onto his toes to smack Reggie’s hand. Julie rolled her eyes, nudging Luke a bit while the others were distracted. He turned to her with a small pout.

“Kids usually think I’m cool.”

“No, kids usually think you’re another kid.” Alex chimed in gleefully.

Luke’s pout deepened and Julie couldn’t resist knocking their fingers together for a quick brush of contact.

“I think you’re cool.”

The whisper was low, but she could tell he heard it by the way he snatched her hand into his, squeezing it for a brief moment as he gave her that burning look again. The interaction was over in a second, but Julie felt the lingering fire race across her skin. She wished she could have a minute or ten alone with him. She turned back to Carlos in the doorway before he could notice. That kid didn’t need any more ammunition against her, thank you very much.

“Did you need something, Carlos? Or are you just here to be a pest?”

He broke off his conversation with Reggie to stick his tongue out at her. She repeated the gesture back to him.

“I need a lot of things actually. Like a normal sister for one.”

He snickered at the way her nostrils flared, fully aware that she wanted to reach out and cuff the back of his head but wouldn’t do it in front of other people. She settled for gritting her teeth and reminding herself that as annoying as Carlos was, he was also her little brother and she loved him. She just didn’t always appreciate his astonishing lack of a filter around older boys that he thought were cool. Luke had read him all wrong of course. Carlos only teased people he was in awe of. That reminder calmed her as well. He was teasing out of love, and because he was nervous around these teenagers that he clearly wanted to like him. She could give him a pass. She could also tease him right back.

“I know where you sleep, twerp. Relay your message or scram.”

He rolled his eyes at her lame threat, but dropped the bratty attitude nonetheless.

“Dad says it’s time to eat. He said the guys can stay if they’re hungry.”

Carlos couldn’t fully hide the hope in his voice, though he tried to sound indifferent about it. Julie watched the boys share a quick look, an entire conversation taking place in mere seconds. Alex’s arm went around Reggie, who sagged a bit like he was disappointed. Luke’s hand went back to his neck, body slumping as if to shrink himself. Alex’s fingers tapped out a restless beat against his thigh. None of them moved to speak. Julie couldn’t stand the uncomfortable way the air grew thick between them.

“I’m sure the guys have plans already, bud. This was kind of a last-minute thing. Maybe tomorrow?”

She aimed the question at the boys instead of Carlos. They seemed to melt all at once. Another silent conversation communicated through glances. Reggie took the lead this time.

“That sounds great! As long as you’re sure your dad won’t mind. We don’t wanna be a burden.”

Julie shook her head, heart aching at the way Reggie said ‘burden’ like it was a title he was used to.

“No burden at all. Dad always makes too much spaghetti anyway. And my Tía usually brings food a few times a week so we literally always have leftovers. You guys would be helping us out by eating them up, honestly.”

Reggie smiled at her, and Julie was surprised to find that she wanted to cry. Not because she was happy or sad or any particular emotion really, but because Reggie made her feel the same way Carlos did when it was the middle of the night and she was waking up to the feeling of his cold feet against her calves and his whispered confession about not wanting to be alone right then. She felt protective. Ready to fight whatever or whoever it was out there that had made him believe he was too much simply by existing. Was this what her mom had talked about when she said the best bands were actually families? Julie had always taken that to mean her family, as in her mom and her. Maybe what she had been saying all along was that the magic of music could make a family. The right connections, the right mix of artists, and it wasn’t just about playing anymore. It was about creating something together, breathing life into their art as one entity. Caring for each other, lifting each other up, bandaging each other’s wounds.

The enormity of the realization that all it took was one afternoon for her to adopt these three idiots hit her like a ton of bricks. She didn’t even know them, and yet, she did. Their souls were forever intertwined. Whatever feeling had overtaken them during their practice would linger for the rest of eternity, burned into her heart like a brand. The magic of music.

“Thanks, Julie.”

Alex’s voice was soft, fingers calm once more. Julie nodded, not trusting herself to speak right then.

“Cool!”

Carlos whooped, breaking the moment once again. This time, Julie didn’t mind so much.

“I’ll go tell Dad. See you guys later!”

He was off like a rocket, propelled forward by his unshakeable enthusiasm. The arm that Alex still had around Reggie flexed for a moment before dropping. Reggie gave him a quick smile, lifting his bass over his head. Luke swung his guitar onto his back, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels. Julie could tell something was bothering him. Alex seemed to feel it too.

“Hey, Reg, can you go unlock the van? I’m gonna start carrying my kit up.”

Alex tossed the keys to Reggie, who somehow managed to catch them singlehandedly while still holding his bass. His eyebrows furrowed for a second, but then he looked over at Luke and understanding dawned. He raced out of the studio without a word, Alex close behind him cradling his bass drum in his arms. Julie turned to Luke once they were alone, only to be met with his back as he fiddled with his guitar in its case. His shoulders were raised high, muscles bunched tightly under his shirt. She took a few steps forward, resting her hand lightly on his back once she was next to him. He relaxed slightly and she sighed in relief. Her fingers took on a mind of their own, softly rubbing until he let his shoulders fall.

“Please don’t feel obligated to stay for dinner tomorrow if you don’t want to.”

Luke spun around so quickly Julie didn’t have time to step back. He grabbed her elbows, steadying her but not moving out of her space. His expression was torn, eyes intense. Julie felt her throat tighten.

“No, Julie, it’s not that. I just...families are hard. For me. For...us.”

His eyes flew to the still open doors and back. She didn’t have to ask who the us was.

“Your dad seems really great. Your brother too. I just...it’s silly, but I don’t wanna let you or your family down.”

He bit his lip, gaze slipping down to the floor. They stood toe-to-toe, the tips of their sneakers almost touching. Julie breathed in deeply, the faint smell of her shampoo tickling her nose. It had to be coming off of Luke. Her own hair had been tied back into a bun at the beginning of band practice. It was an intimate reminder of the night before. When he hadn’t been home in the middle of the night because sometimes it was better to be elsewhere, even if elsewhere just meant not there. She couldn’t relate to that feeling. Her home had never felt like anything other than a welcoming, safe space. Her family had never been anything other than loving and supportive, even in the rare moments when they fought with each other.

“Luke, I’m pretty sure my dad thinks that you’re an angel. He was so happy this afternoon he didn’t even bring up the meeting with Lessa. You’re the reason I’m playing music again and that’s as good as gold in his eyes.”

“No way, Molina.” Luke scoffed, hands raising from her elbows to her shoulders. “That’s all on you. I didn’t do anything except ambush you for my own personal gain.”

Julie was shaking her head before he even finished his sentence. He was trying to play everything off with that cocky, cool kid attitude, but she knew him better now. That bravado was all a defense mechanism. One of her own hands lifted, brushing his hair out of his eyes, fingers lingering along his jawline.

“You’re wrong, Patterson.”

She didn’t miss the way he jerked a bit when she used his last name, his pupils widening slightly. A small smile formed on her lips. Two could play at that game.

“You rescued my mom’s song and protected it all this time. You brought it back to me right when I needed it. Did you know that was the last song she ever worked on? The last song we ever worked on. That song is the last piece of my mom. I don’t think I would have ever been able to play again without it, and I didn’t even realize that until yougave it back to me.”

She edged forward until their shoes touched. It wasn’t that much closer, but Julie could feel every inch of space lost between them. Luke’s eyes were doing that soft, starry thing again, and Julie thought her own eyes might look the same. He let his hands fall from her shoulders until they were resting lightly against her waist. Her own hands snuck around his neck, fingertips brushing against his soft, jasmine scented hair. Luke swayed their bodies slightly, his need for constant motion of some kind getting the best of him. It made her want to laugh, but this moment felt too big for that. Of all the ways her relationship with Luke had rapidly shifted in the last few days, this felt like the most serious. She wasn’t trying to fight him anymore. She was laying her cards out just as openly as he had.

“Julie...”

She couldn’t stop herself from leaning into him further, his voice twisting her name into the sweetest sounding melody. Luke didn’t get a chance to say or do anything else before noise filtered in through the still open studio doors. Alex’s voice, louder than Julie had ever heard it before, as he chatted with Reggie. Luke’s shoulders curved slightly, like he was disappointed, before he straightened and put some more space between them. They dropped their hands at the same time, the loss of contact causing her to shiver. Luke shot her a quick smile, so Julie knew his actions were less about hiding her and more about not wanting to share their delicate relationship with anyone else just yet. That was okay with her, too. It felt a little too new, a little too fragile, to let anyone else in on it just yet.

Alex and Reggie appeared only seconds later, Alex looking a little wary like he wasn’t sure his loud approach had been enough warning, Reggie’s expression open and happy, clearly oblivious to the thick tension between Luke and Julie. He was babbling to Alex about something involving physics homework, both of them moving to collect several other pieces of Alex’s kit. Luke gave her one last glance before he left her side to lift an amp. Julie was silent for a moment as she watched them before a realization had her smacking her forehead. The sound was loud enough to startle the boys, who turned to her with matching confused expressions on their faces.

“You guys are going to be right back over here tomorrow. You don’t need to take all your stuff out just to haul it back in here in like 24 hours. I should have said something earlier.”

Another silent conversation, the boys wary and anxious again. Julie wished she had a better understanding of the landmines she seemed to keep stumbling upon. Luke had given her a small hint, but the rejection anxiety ran deep in every single one of these boys. Reggie spoke up before Julie had the chance to reassure them.

“Are you sure your dad won’t mind?”

He was fiddling nervously with the strap on his bass, eyes wide. Alex’s grip flexed on the snare he held, Luke stepping closer to his guitar case. She heard the underlying question behind Reggie’s tone. Are you sure these parts of our souls will be safe here?

“He won’t mind at all. He hasn’t touched a thing in here since we locked it up after Mom...since we locked it up a year ago.”

She tried to keep her voice soft, her steps slow as she moved to place her hands against the top of the grand piano.

“My mom’s piano has been stored in here my entire life. I promise you the Molina’s know the importance of protecting our instruments. It’s up to you though. I totally get it if you want to keep them with you.”

Julie didn’t wait for their response, letting them process and decide for themselves how they felt about the situation. She bent to lift the sheet that usually covered the piano, shaking it a few times before closing the fallboard and draping the soft material over the instrument. By the time she turned around, only Luke was left behind her. She raised a brow, concerned she had said the wrong thing. His lips stretched into one of the smiles reserved just for her.

“They went back to the van to get Alex’s bass drum.”

Her eyes darted off to the side behind him, noticing that the snare Alex had been holding was back in place, Reggie’s bass once more nestled into a guitar holder. She felt her frown soften into a smile, relieved that they seemed to trust her despite not really having much of a reason to.

“Thank you...for, ya know, being so cool about all of this.”

Luke’s voice was quiet, hands fidgeting like he was fighting the urge to raise them to the back of his neck.

“Luke, I should be the one thanking you. Seriously, you guys don’t have to do this for me, and you are anyway. Actually, you very well could get into trouble for doing this, and yet you’re still willing to take that risk. The least I can do is house your instruments for a few days.”

Julie didn’t mean to, but something in her voice had his head snapping up at the way she said her last sentence. Like he could tell that she was trying to say it wasn’t just the instruments she was willing to care for. It was the boys too. It was Luke. They didn’t say anything more, letting the sentiment hang in the air between them. Luke’s eyes were impossibly soft. If Julie hadn’t already plunged over the cliff ledge falling for him, this moment would have toppled her.

Reggie and Alex stumbled back in, both of them laughing but unable to fully articulate why. Something about an old Vine video and bible study. Alex reset his bass drum, Julie scrounging up another sheet from the linen closet in the bathroom to cover it for the night. And if she took an extra second to run her fingers over the towel now hanging on the hook next to the shower, the faint scent of jasmine and citrus body wash and Luke drifting off of it at the movement, well no one else had to know about that.

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parkeraul · 5 years

Note

Drunk bestfriend!Tom confessing his feelings for you while you take care of him

→ can you feel me? | t.h.

author’s note — hey ya, thanks for requesting. i hope you like it! requests are open again for tom, peter & shawn, btw. hit the askbox.

pairing: tom holland x reader | bestfriend!au

masterlist┊add yourself to my taglists┊give me feedbacks.

warnings — fluff, kind of angsty, swearing, brief mentions of sex and alcohol consumption.

“Turn around,” Tom says, walking slowly as he tries hard not to miss a step. “I don’t want you to see my intimacy.”

Y/N stands up from the bed as soon as she sees her best friend walking drowsily, his right hand holding the edges of the towel wrapped around his waist together. His left hand palms the wall, as if they could only show him what way he should follow to reach the wardrobe. The brown eyes are glued on the wooden floor, slow steps coming closer as Y/N prompts herself to stretch both arms and offer him her hands to guide his trail.

“Nah, no,” Tom refuses, shifting his hands up in the air and away from her touch, which leads to his towel to loosen and start to fall. “I can handle myself,” A hiccup interrupts him briefly, frame tumbling backwards as he loses balance for a moment. “I’m fine, look!”

As soon as he stops talking, he opens his arms and starts to lift his right foot to fold his knee and make a 4 shape with his legs — obviously, tilting from side to side due to the dizziness.

“Tom, what the hell?!” Y/N hisses, long strides leading her to grab both his arms and bring him back to Earth. “Quit fucking around, this ain’t funny.”

Laughing, Tom falls forwards and hugs his best friend clumsily, squishing her body with his powerless limbs. He felt a numbness running through his nerves, but his muscular arms made Y/N feel like he was using all of his might to hold her against his cold body. It’s all too good until she feels him starting to get heavier, pressing down on her.

“Help me change, kitten?” He mumbles weakly, arms still tangled around her shoulders as they tiptoe left and right to avoid crashing down.

“Kitten?” Y/N asks, frowning.

“Kitten.”

“Don’t call me kitten.”

“Why not?” The british boy asks back, burying his face on the crook of her neck, sniffing her scent and closing his sleepy eyes. “You liked it when Raul called you that in high school.”

“Will you let that go?” She sighs, smiling and Tom smiles along because he can notice it, even though he doesn’t have a view. Her words slipped out way too softly for her not to be grinning, he knows it like the palm of his hand. “I knew I shouldn’t have told you about that.”

“Shut the fuck up,” While Y/N helps him step away, he lets out a breathy laugh and chews on his bottom lip no longer after, hands trailing their way back to his dark–red towel threatening to fall. “I remember you shaking whenever he came across, you liked it.”

Y/N guides Tom to flop onto the mattress, where he sits down with a lazy smile sprawled across his flushy face. There are droplets scrolling down his chest, his short hair a little bit damp and his skin getting goosebumps as the cold temperature envolves the bedroom. She walks to his drawers, choosing one of his various Calvins for him to wear as he watches her attentive like a child.

“I so didn’t.”

“You did.”

“I fuckin’ did not!”

“Y/N, come on,” He speaks loudly, accent dripping down strongly everytime he opened his mouth. “You literally sent me a message that day talking about–”

Not looking back, she tosses a black pair of Calvins right onto his face, looking for his pajamas on another drawer and hoping she had shut him up with the fabric.

“Talking about how he moaned weirdly and couldn’t stop talking during sex.”

“Where the fuck are your pajamas?” She sighs, slamming the drawers shut as she gets no success.

“Do you still hate when people talk during sex?” Tom unfolds his underwear, only looking at it as he has no willing on putting them on.

“It’s not that I hate it, it depends,” Y/N answers nonchalantly, finding on his bottom drawer a pair of sweats that she throws it back to him. “Raul was annoying, I hated it with him.”

“Oh yeah?”

“He was a son of a bitch, you knew that,” She emphasizes, closing the drawer as she opens the biggest door of his wardrobe to search for a cozy blanket to cover him with. “You knew that before I did, actually.”

Tom’s head starts to spin, vision getting blurry as he tries to watch Y/N’s actions across his bedroom. It’s hard to focus, but the fact that she’s staying here to help him get ready to sleep and taking care of him seems to connect more with the moment — even if it means he can only feel clearly, sight losing itself more and more. He doesn’t remember when he started to lose control, or how many tequila shots he had in between the countless bottles of beer he took. The taste remains still on his memory, as fresh as the emotions blossoming across his thumping chest. Something’s wrong.

“You gonna throw up, aren’t you?”

“Huh?”

This time, even though it’s unfocused, Tom’s eyes are staring at a random spot. More precisely, the spot where her body was before she shifted to the side with a warm blanket on her hands and a worried look at his direction.

“No, I’m not,” He says with a smile. “Just thinkin’ how Raul really was a son of a bitch.”

“Still?”

“He was a lucky son of a bitch, though,” Tom explains, trying to manage his underwear among his fingers to dress it up. “Was he a good kisser at least?”

When Tom’s body inches to the left dangerously, Y/N runs to him — the blanket long forgotten at the end of the bed as she knees down on the floor, taking the underwear onto her own hands.

“Fuck, Tom.”

She tries to pass the waistband up his feet correctly and Tom is still taken aback by her words. What the heck?

Another hiccup comes suddenly, a warm sensation soothing the left side of his chest and quickly travelling down to the center of it. Soon, it’s burning his entire upper half with a feeling he can’t describe; he doesn’t want to describe. Tom’s been doing great by avoiding it everytime if came up, but further than that, it flew down to his lower stomach and found home on it, building a light coil unconsciously.

“Let me do this.” He says flatly, trying to recover his senses and grabbing the waistband himself, pushing it up hurriedly.

“You can’t even stand up, shithead,” Y/N fights back, slapping his hands away but Tom is quicker to drag his body farther onto the bed. “Will you stop?”

His breath gets caught, the air stuck on his lungs and fighting to come out as he insists on holding it back — because there is Y/N, taking his wrists and pinning them down on each side of his body and down on the mattress. Tom can tell she’s growing impatient when she bites her lower lip twice before keeping it in between her teeth, the apple of her cheeks highlighting everytime she chews her lip strongly. And damn, she looks different. Good different, great different, he thinks. She’s dead mad at him for being bratty, but there’s something about the way Y/N looks down in there, insisting on taking care of his drunken body that gets his heart beating unpatterned. Maybe it’s the way her brows frown so sweetly, concentrated; or the way she looks up at him disapprovingly, but with an unspoken phrase of comfort — “you’re an idiot, but what wouldn’t I do for you?”. Perhaps, it’s about the way her careful hands are messily dressing him, the elastic waistband tightening his shins, going past his knees, thighs, upper thighs–

“I’ll do the rest,” He comes back to reality, blinking twice and breaking out from the fairytale. “Here, come on up.”

“No, it’s almost done,” It’s Y/N’s turn to have wrists gotten by Tom, who’s pulling her body up by them. “You can barely speak properly.”

“I’m betta, love,�� Tom gives her a warm smile, breathing deeply to keep his body in place — he fears his drunken state can’t work in his favour, but he fears his heart the most, that it might give him the strength to reach for her. He can’t. “Trust me, it’s fine.”

“Why are you so damn stubborn?”

“You’re stubborn!”

“Shit, Tom, let me finish–”

“Y/N stop!” Tom’s voice falls an octave, coming out almost clear for the first time in the past 2 hours. “I’ll fucking do this, I don’t want you to see my dick.”

She stands up and her jaw falls, a silent laugh leaving her mouth with a sharp air exhaling through it. Her hands flies to her waist, cupping the flesh covered by her favourite party dress as she watches Tom struggling to wear his briefs without taking the towel off.

“I can’t see shit.”

A few seconds of silence take over the room, but it feels like an eternity in their heads. Tom stares deep into Y/N’s eyes and she reciprocates, eyebrows lifted while she tucks her hair behind her ears.

“Ouch?!” He whines, as if she could see through the towel to pull up a joke like that. His mind wasn’t working at all.

Y/N rolls her eyes and turns her back to him, walking to the end of the bed to grab the blanket and unfold the enormous flurry piece. She rambles, pretending to work more on the big white fabric as she gives him the time to get dressed. Tom stands up on his feet, shoving the underwear up and letting the waistband rest a little bit lower than it should be. The v–lines are prominent on his abs, leading to where his lower stomach starts to show up, where the coil is intensifying against his will.

The scent of her perfume and shampoo fills up the room, warning Tom that he won’t get rid of her even if she went away back home. Her delicate silhouette was standing there, back turned to him after a long night looking after his drunken stunts. They loved to party together, of course, but somehow her soberness hit her sooner while Tom was out there, trying drink after drink.

She wanted to ask what was going on, what happened that made him look at her the entire party. Innumerable times Tom had been caught glancing at her, even far away on the kitchen while she was out there on the beer pong with their friends. And if she was out of sight, she was present in his mind, making him seek for her even though he feared what he would probably bump into. Yet, it felt more and more like a line had twirled a knot around his heart and the end of it was in hers — tied up like a pretty bow tie, because she would do a knot better than his. She always did everything better, Tom thinks.

Fancier, stronger, prettier, faster... Perfectly. She’s unique, nobody compares to her.

When Y/N turns around, Tom has his fist shoved against his other palm, crackling his slender fingers as his biceps flex to the action. She offers him a tired smile, but genuine, from the heart. Tom knows what it means, denying her from the view of his defined body as he climbs onto bed like a baby. She doesn’t let the sight of his ass pass by, though — and if it was a good time, she’d tease him about how juicy his cheeks look in those Calvins, which would make him twitch harder inside his boxers but laugh in response, buying the play so she would never know how bad he wishes it could be true.

When he’s finally resting, back pressed against the sheets and arm under his head, Y/N covers him with the heavy blanket. His stubborn ass left the sweats she threw at him long forgotten in the middle of the bed, but she wouldn’t fight it. Not today. If he gets a cold, she might chastise him tomorrow, she thinks.

“Raul was a good kisser,” Y/N whispers, bringing the cover up to Tom’s chest. “This is how I kept him quiet.”

“Fair enough,” Tom whispers back, grinning tiredly. “Smart of you.”

Y/N winks at her best friend, smiling along with the boy she learned to deal with everytime he decided to play harder with the drinks. Tom turns to the side, looking up at her as he opens more space on his bed.

What?

Y/N kinda freezes inside, wondering where the hell was this going to. It was a rule that they would never share a bed, it was set ever since they had to sleep over Harrison’s house one day and things got awkward. Their legs would touch here and there sometimes and it felt like torture. At the same time it was wrong, Tom wanted it to feel right so bad. He felt like it was right, but he didn’t know about Y/N, so it didn’t go further than that. They knew it had brought an uncomfortable atmosphere when they woke up the next day quieter than ever, after a long night of accidental touches. And they weren’t mischievous, or meant to tease, or whatever. The fact that they both had deeper thoughts about a simple graze made it all become heavier and bigger than it should be — and by deeper thoughts, they mean: what if ‘keep going’ is the right thing to do?

“You have a pretty lower lip, Y/N,” Tom says with a tone very child–like, eyes blinking slowly.

“Just the lower one?” She laughs, already familiar with the dork–drunken–Tom Holland.

“No, the other one looks good too,” Dangerous confession. Fuck. “But lower lips are better to suck onto.”

She tilts her head like a puppy, trying to understand where he was going, what was his point after all. Y/N gulps, lungs working a lot harder to keep the composure.

“Raul was a lucky bastard,” Mumbling lowly, Tom eyes Y/N through his lashes. “I can imagine why he was always stuck with his mouth on yours.”

“Can you?”

“I always had that in mind.”

“Raul and I kissing?”

Tom giggles impulsively, nervously, as if he just heard the funniest joke of his entire existence. He only stops when the coil on his lower stomach starts to boil.

“Having my mouth stuck on yours.”

Y/N finally takes her hands off the blanket, rubbing her palm against Tom’s head like he’s a puppy. She smiles at his smirk, heart beating so angrily she feared it was audible to him.

“Good night, Tom.”

“Hey,” Tom calls, deciding to offer her a better thing. “You can have Sam’s bed, he’s not coming home.”

Y/N nods, curling the corner of her mouth up before pressing her lips together, fingers of both hands tangled in between each other.

“Thank you.”

“Thank you!” He says. “I love you.”

Turning off the lights, Y/N goes to the door and answers him genuinely.

“I love you too.”

As she leaves, closing the door behind her, Tom shifts in bed with that fucking dull ache all spread over his lower stomach, waves of excitement throbbing up and down unstoppably. With his right hand running down his muscles to the black boxers, he knew it would be another night with Y/N’s name on his mouth; the image of her intoxicating his imagination and the thought of what her whimpers would sound like if he had invited her to occupy the empty side of his bed; if she would’ve had accepted it to finally put to a proof if their touches were going to feel perfectly wrong, or deadly right.

Taglist: @outlandishnerd – @jillanaholland – @space-holland – @snowflakeparker – @tomhollandseverything

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfics #bestfriend!tom #tom holland x reader #tom holland blurb #tom holland blurbs #tom holland masterlist #mine #ficsofmine

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sylvanfreckles · 4 years

Text

Hallucinations (FebuWhump 11)

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: When Cas chose to be human to stay with Dean they all knew he'd have a hard road ahead adjusting to his new life. Sam is only now discovering just how hard that road is.

(Look, I had a rough day, I needed some self-indulgent angsty destiel fluff. You know how it is.)

(Read on AO3)

* * *

The first time Sam realized something was wrong, he'd followed the sound of frying bacon into the bunker's kitchen, not at all surprised to find his brother at the stove. Dean glanced back over his shoulder. “Hey, Sammy. What time you guys get in?”

“After two,” Sam groaned. There was a full carafe of coffee next to a stack of clean mugs, and he eagerly poured a mug for himself and contemplated just sticking his face in. “We miss anything?”

“Eh, same old-same old,” Dean shrugged. He twisted to slide the bacon out of the pan onto a plate on the kitchen island behind and Sam nearly spat out a mouthful of coffee in shock.

“Dude, what the hell happened?” Sam blurted. At Dean's questioning glance he pointed to the side of his face—the same spot where Dean had a dark bruise spreading across his cheekbone.

“Oh,” shaking his head dismissively, Dean turned back around to peek at something in the oven. “Cas.”

This time Sam tried to swallow the coffee, but it was a little too hot and a little too much and he ended up coughing and pounding at his sternum to try to clear his throat. “Cas?”

There was just no way. Castiel, former angel-of-the-lord, who'd given up nearly limitless power to live a quiet, human life with Dean. Cas, who Sam had caught smuggling spiders out of the bunker instead of killing them. The one who'd come home without his coat more often than not because he always saw someone who needed it more. There was no way he was hurting Dean...was there?

“Don't go all Lifetime movie on me, Sammy,” Dean complained. “Dude had a nightmare and woke up swinging. I didn't duck in time, that's all.”

“Dean...”

“Don't make it a big deal,” the older Winchester snapped, pointing a spatula at his brother. “He's been through enough shit in his life, he doesn't need you piling more guilt on him.”

Sam held his free hand up and backed away to lean against the counter. “Does it...does that happen a lot?”

“Comes and goes,” Dean shrugged. “Not like he can help it.” He tugged a tray of cinnamon rolls out of the oven and dropped them on the stovetop. “Hey, let Cas and Eileen know breakfast's ready, all right?”

“We need to talk about this, Dean.”

“We always need to talk about everything,” he retorted. “It's fine, Sam. I'm fine, Cas's fine, you're fine. I'd say Eileen's fine but you'd get the wrong idea and beat my ass.”

Sam snorted. “Real mature, dude.”

“Yeah, but you love me for it,” Dean grinned and winked. “Now shoo, you know how Eileen gets when the bacon gets cold.”

* * *

The second time, Sam had found an opportunity to have a private talk with Cas about everything. Dean and Eileen were holed up in the training room sparring—she needed to test her skills against a stronger opponent, and he always welcomed the chance to try to match her speed. Cas was sitting sideways on one of the couches on the balcony overlooking the war room, an Audubon guide to birds open in his lap.

“Hey, man, can we talk for a second?”

Cas flinched and tried to cover it up with a smile, pulling his legs in so Sam had room to sit down. “Of course. I always enjoy...talking to you.”

Sam tried to smile when he sat down, though Cas's first reaction had him concerned. “I just wanted to know how you're handling things. Being human, being here with Dean, stuff like that.”

The dark-haired man's eyes lowered, focusing on the way his finger traced the edges of the pages of the book he was holding. “I'm satisfied with my choice, Sam. I will never regret choosing your brother.”

“That's not what I mean,” Sam shook his head and turned in his seat so he was facing Cas. “I mean life, emotions...frustration? Anger? You haven't always had a great track record with that kind of stuff.”

Cas wouldn't meet his eyes. He closed his birdwatching guide and hugged it close to his chest, drawing up his knees so he was curled on the end of the couch as far away from Sam as he could get. God, he looked like he was ready to make a run for it. “This is about Dean?”

Sam let out a sigh. “It's about both of you. Look, you've only been human for a few months, and Dean's never had a long-term partner before. I just want to make sure things are...okay?”

“It was a mistake,” Cas replied. He finally looked up at Sam, his expression twisted with grief. “I didn't know...I didn't know he was there, and I thought I was...”

Dammit, this wasn't how Sam wanted this talk to go. He'd just meant to have a lighthearted conversation, make sure Cas was coping with humanity (and Dean), maybe pass on some tips for battling the nightmares. Instead he was about to make his pseudo-brother-in-law cry (really, the handfasting ceremony had been lovely, but with both spouses legally dead there was no way Sam or Dean were actually married).

“Hey, hey, it's okay,” Sam leaned forward and rested one hand on the other man's knee. “I know it was an accident. I just wanted to know if there was any way I could help.”

Cas's shoulders relaxed, but he shook his head. “I'm fine, Sam.”

* * *

The third time, they'd been trying to have a movie night. Dean had apparently been teaching himself ASL while Sam and Eileen were gone, though he'd only learned obscene phrases and jokes at Sam's expense. They were watching some mindless action flick, the kind where the cars had stunt doubles, the men had muscles bursting out of their sleeves, and the women wore scandalously impractical clothing for all the fist-fighting they were doing on the backs of eighteen-wheelers.

The hero of the story had taken a two-by-four to the jaw, and miraculously walked away with nothing worse than a couple of cracked molars. But it seemed the villains had infiltrated the friendly neighborhood dentist, and as soon as the hero showed up to have his teeth repaired they had him tied down to the chair in the exam room.

Dean lunged for the remote and snapped the television off. “Shit. Hey, Sunshine, you okay?”

Cas was staring ahead blankly. His hands, resting on his knees, were coiled into fists, his jaw clenched so tightly a muscle was twitching. Dean frantically waved Sam and Eileen away and knelt on the floor in front of Cas, looking up at him but not touching.

“You're here with me,” Dean said calmly. “Come on, man. Come back to me. I'm right here in front of you.”

Sam could see that Cas was shaking. He moved to grab the blanket from the back of the couch but Dean shook his head. “Don't touch him. He doesn't know we're here right now.”

The younger Winchester hesitated. “Do you want some water?”

“Shh!” Dean hissed. “He knows me. He can follow me back.”

Wrapping his arms around his stomach, Sam settled on the arm of one of the big recliners. Eileen leaned against him and he moved one arm to wrap around her shoulders, resting his chin on top of her head.

“I'm still here, Sunshine. You know me. You found my soul in the pits of Hell, you can find your way back out of this.”

Minutes passed. Maybe hours. Then something in Cas's eyes changed, like he was actually focusing on the world in front of him. Dean broke into a broad smile. “There's my Sunshine.”

Cas stared at him, then down to where his hands were curled into fists. “I don't...”

“Hey,” Dean held his hands up, hovering just a few inches over Cas's knees. “Okay to touch?”

The former angel stared at Dean's hands blankly for a moment, then threw himself off the couch into Dean's arms, hands clutching at the back of Dean's shirt hard enough that Sam could see the fabric crease from where he was sitting.

“Whoa, that's a yes,” Dean teased. “I'm still here, Sunshine. Right here.”

* * *

Sam finally cornered Dean after, when Cas had retreated to deal with the aftermath of his...episode...in private. “You call that fine?”

Dean sighed, his face suddenly lined with exhaustion. “Can you blame him? Dude's been through more shit than we'll ever see in our lifetimes, he's gonna have some blips here and there.”

“'Blips'?” Sam raked a hand through his hair. “Dean, he was catatonic.”

“Ah,” Dean held a finger up. “We call it Cas-atonic.”

“This isn't funny, Dean!”

“You think I don't know that?” Dean flung his arm out, gesturing vaguely toward the dormitories. “You think I don't wonder if he might not make it out some time? Jesus, Sammy, I like the nights he wakes up swinging. Sure as hell beats the nights he screams me awake and I can't break him out of the hell inside his head.”

Sam flinched and looked down. “Is it really that bad?” he asked quietly.

Dean let out a sigh and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “We're working on it. I'm starting to catch on to triggers, sometimes we can head them off. He Skypes with Mia every couple weeks, that's helping.”

“Mia?” Sam raised his eyebrows. “Isn't she the...”

“Shapeshifter therapist, yeah. Figured she might be the only one who'd understand the angel stuff was the normal bit.”

Sam nodded and folded his arms, leaning back against the wall. “And 'Sunshine'?”

Dean's cheeks reddened and he turned away to fiddle with something on the library table. “We needed a name. Something no one else called him, something from now. He said I called him that once and he liked it...but it's not something the rest of the angels knew about. So if he hears me call him Sunshine he knows he's here now, not back in...not back then.”

He wanted to ask when 'then' was, but his brother's body language was closing down. So Sam rubbed his hands together and pushed himself up instead. “Well, hey, what kind of movies are safest for him? We can have a do-over for movie night.”

His brother groaned. “How do you feel about rom-coms without an alpha bitch?”

* * *

The fourth time took Sam completely by surprise. They'd made a trip out to a secondhand bookstore—Dean and Eileen had squabbled the entire way over whether this was a double date or not, with Cas innocently suggesting that a date required food and Dean had promised he could pick the restaurant, and Sam stoutly refusing to take any part in the discussion—and it had started out as a nice trip. The bookstore was massive, so while Sam was looking for some older reference books (they were still replacing some of the volumes that had been damaged when the Stines infiltrated the bunker), Eileen looked for more practical map books and travel guides.

Cas had dragged Dean off to look at the nature section. He was fascinated with the ways humans categorized their world, and he and Dean had rearranged the library so Cas had an entire shelf for his motley collection of well-thumbed nature books.

“Oh, here, Sammy, carry mine,” Dean called as they were leaving, thrusting his bag at Sam.

“Carry your own,” Sam retorted, shoving them back. His bags were heavy enough, between what he and Eileen had picked out.

“They're not even mine, they're Cas's,” Dean shot back. “Don't you love your brother-in-law?”

“Don't you love your husband?” Sam shoved the bag back at Dean. Eileen walked between them at the moment and snatched both Dean's bag and Sam's bags.

She made eye contact with Cas and rolled her eyes. “Boys,” she announced haughtily, stepping into the street to cross toward the parking lot where Dean had left the Impala.

“Whoa, hey,” Sam caught her shoulder and tugged her back just as a sports car screamed around the corner, tires squealing. The driver hit a patch of gravel and spun out for a minute, scattering pieces of rock before their tires had traction again and the swerved off down the narrow road.

Eileen signed something rude in the direction of the speeding car. Sam mentally agreed, but checked over his shoulder to make sure Dean hadn't seen that particular phrase.

Dean was on the ground, Cas curled on top of him. The dark-haired man was completely rigid, arms and legs wrapped around Dean's body to hold him still, Dean's head tucked under his chin.

“Dean?”

“I'm okay,” Dean's muffled voice called. “Stay back...keep everyone back.”

Sam glanced around. The patio in front of the bookstore was basically deserted, and there were only one or two customers milling around inside the store.

“I'm okay, Sunshine.” Sam couldn't see Dean's face from here, though from the muffled tone he imagined it was pressed into Cas's chest. “I'm safe and you're safe. We're all here with you, Sunshine.”

Cas shuddered. “I can't...”

“Hey, hey, it's okay,” Dean managed to snake an arm out and wrap his hand around Cas's upper arm. “I'm right here. I love you, Sunshine. Remember?”

Cas's face crumpled and he went limp, and Dean slowly sat up and shifted them both so that Cas was sitting with his forehead resting on Dean's shoulder. “We're going home now,” Dean told him, rubbing a hand up and down Cas's back. “Eileen said she's gonna cook dinner tonight,” he added, winking up at Eileen.

She sank to a crouch and waited for Cas to look up at her. “Vegetarian chili.”

Dean gave a loud, theatrical groan that actually brought a faint smile to Cas's face. “Vegetarian?” he whined.

“You love it,” she teased back with her own wink. “You can make extra bacon in the morning.”

“Deal,” Dean pushed himself to his feet and held a hand down to help Cas up. “Let's go home, Sunshine.”

* * *

I hesitated about the I love you part, but I figured Dean knew that was one of the "now" phrases that would help Cas remember where and when he is.

It's past my bedtime. I hope you enjoyed my self-indulgent fluff and maybe some day I'll write a story where Cas is the partner taking care of Dean...although that's not my style :D

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omgrachwrites · 4 years

Text

Forever - Sirius Black One Shot

Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: You felt lucky when you found your soulmate and you knew that you would be with him forever. Forever ended much too soon.

Warnings: fluff, angst, character death

Words: 1181

A/N: This is for @wreckofawriter‘s cliche month, my cliche was character death! I can’t believe this will be my last fic for your writing challenge love, I’ve really enjoyed taking part! I wanted to make this super angsty for my last one so I hope you guys enjoy and please let me know what you think! I love you all xxx

You had never known love until Sirius Black snogged you in the Quidditch stands, in the pouring rain, normally you hated clichés but you decided to let this one slide. It was the Quidditch match that determined who was going to win the cup, and it was Gryffindor who had won. The atmosphere in the stadium was electric, maybe that was the reason why Sirius had kissed you.

As soon as you felt Sirius kiss you deeply, you smiled against his lips as you carded your fingers through his thick dark hair. The both of you had been flirting for a while and this was the first time that either of you had made a move, “you taste like forever Y/N,” he blushed as he pulled away.

Giggling, you raised an eyebrow, “oh do I? Are you going to leave all those girls who adore you, for me?” you teased and tucked a flyaway stand of his hair behind his ear.

“I’d do anything for you, Y/N,” he admitted, his handsome face flushing once more.

“You’re so adorable,” you smiled, cupping his cheeks and kissing him again. As you kissed him, you knew that he was right, you could see your future and it revolved around him.

Even when he was imprisoned in Azkaban after Lily and James were murdered, you didn’t love another, though Remus urged you to find someone. You couldn’t love again, not when the gorgeous man that you’d loved had taken all of your heart with him to Azkaban. When he escaped, and it was proven that he was innocent you felt like you could truly breathe again because you could have your heart back and Remus had his best friend back.

All of you were going to be a family, you, Sirius, Remus and Harry who was yours and Sirius’ godson, but it was not to be. Shortly after you and your soulmate had reunited, he had to go back into hiding, though you were making it work. Sirius had offered his parent’s old house a couple of years after you had been reunited. Voldemort was back – almost killing Harry as he made his return – so The Order of The Phoenix had been reformed and it needed new headquarters. You hated the fact that Sirius had to go back to the house that he had always hated but you were with him every step of the way.

Sitting up in bed, you wrapped your arms around Sirius from behind, dropping a kiss onto his bare shoulder, “I’m sorry baby, we’ll keep trying until we have a child of our own,” your period had been late for about ten days and you were so sure that you were pregnant but on the 11th day it was made clear that you weren’t. You and Sirius longed for a family; nothing would make you happier than being parents.

The handsome man turned his head and grinned – you had no idea how he was still so handsome after spending years in such a dreadful place – his grey eyes suddenly sparkled with mischief and you felt like you were back at school, fooling around with your friends. You loved it when his eyes lit up like that, truly you did but it seemed hollow without James, for he always wore an identical expression.

“Well, it certainly is a lot of fun trying,” he chuckled before chewing his lip as his eyes raked down your body.

Smirking, you leaned back, pulling him over you, “then how about we have some fun baby,” you whispered as seductively as you could, giggling as Sirius pretty much pounced on you. And boy, did you have a lot of fun.

The following day, in the middle of an Order meeting, you were all informed that there had been a break in at The Department of Mysteries. Everybody wanted to help and they all jumped up at once, including you. Sirius looked at you, his eyebrows knitted together as he scratched at the stubble that littered his chin. He opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off before he could even get a word out.

“I’m coming Sirius.”

He sighed; his grey eyes were soft as he cupped your cheek with a warm hand, licking the bottom of his lip nervously, “what if something happens? What if you get hurt?”

“Sirius baby, I know that you want to protect me as much as you can but we need to do this together, we can protect each other,” you assured him.

Sirius chuckled at your determination, “I love you Y/N.”

The Order apparated and straight away you discovered that it was Harry and his friends who had broken into the Ministry. Sirius looked at you with wide eyes, it seemed like he didn’t know what to do, “go to him, I’ll cover your back.”

He nodded before sweeping you up in his arms, “I love you Y/N Y/L/N, ever since we were 16, we’re gonna get married and have babies when all this is over,” a gorgeous smile broke out onto his face.

“I love you too, more than you’ll ever be able to comprehend,” at your reply he kissed you fiercely and went after your godson. He punched Lucius Malfoy as he reached Harry.

You found yourself locked in a duel with someone you went to school with, you were in the same potions class and you had even talked to him. Thankfully, he had never been a skilled dueller, Voldemort needed to get better Death Eaters. Harry and his friends were very good duellers, better than they ought to be at such a tender age. Though, you supposed in times such as these, children seemed to grow up quickly.

You had stunned your opponent, knocking him out cold and you grinned, turning round to shout over to Sirius, and you wished that you hadn’t. There was a flash of green light that hit Sirius’ body and with a ghost of a smile he fell back into the veil and disappeared. He couldn’t be dead, he just couldn’t be. Your soulmate couldn’t be dead, it wasn’t possible

You couldn’t breathe as your knees buckled and hit the floor, you heard someone cry out their anguish, and you had a funny feeling that it was you. It hurt so much; you just wanted it to stop hurting. Harry was in pieces too, he was getting held by Remus who looked just as broken as you felt.

Four years later, after the war and after all your old schoolmates were dead; you were taking your daughter Lucy to see her father. She looked so much like him that sometimes it hurt to look at her. It was Sirius’ birthday, the father that Lucy had never known and you wished that they could have known each other.

“Happy Birthday daddy,” she sniffled as she placed the bouquet of flowers at his grave. It had felt strange having a funeral when there was no body.

Sirius had been your forever, your future. Forever had ended much too soon.

-------------

@smiithys

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