#it feels better today but eva (doesn’t drive) had to drive me home from the lab lol

[pussymasterdooku]

another day another medical malpractice…the allie experience!

[yutahoes]

Genius

pairing : dad! Yuta Nakamoto x mom! Reader, Shiho, Shin (ft. NCT 127 Members)

genre: fluff

word count: 1.7k

taglist:  (The Yuta’s Angels team) @ailoveyuta @aiforyuu @yutazen01 @2-3-t-i @cosmiclatte28 @nuoyipeach @dreamlesswonder86 @loona-4-eva

a/n: Welcome to another episode of dad! Yuta. I miss writing for Shiho. I tried my best to put all members of NCT 127 but I might make another one where it’s more focused on them. I also feel bad that I can’t post some AUs lately so I’ll post two scenarios today and ghost you all. 😂

Yuta watched in amusement as little six-year-olds started going out of the door in a line. They’re so cute. But what made him grinned widely is seeing his daughter, smiling. He doesn’t believe it at first when you claimed that your daughter is indeed enjoying school. But here she is, the sunshine of his life, beaming widely.

“Daddy!” She called, running to him. He was quick to carry her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. 

He should really pick her up from school more often now. “Hi, princess. Did you have fun today?” Shiho nodded. Yuta opened the door of the car then helped her put on her seatbelt. Her bag was next to her and Yuta smiled at how it was creatively done. Truly, a one-of-a-kind bag. “I got you this.” Shiho smiled when he handed her two yellow roses wrapped in pink paper. 

The younger giggled, looking at the flowers as Yuta started dashing to the driver’s seat of the car. “Thank you, daddy.” She said when he started putting on his seatbelt. “Did you get mommy some flowers also?” 

“Later,” Yuta answered then adjusted the mirror in front to see Shiho who was just smiling at him. “Mommy is going to the doctors with Shin.”

The happy expression was replaced with a worried one and he smiled. “Is mommy sick?” Yuta shook his head. “Is Shin okay?” 

Yuta nodded, smiling at her. “The doctor just needed to check if Shin is healthy. He’s fine.” He assured. “Can you come with daddy to practice today? Then we’ll meet mommy and Shin for dinner later.” 

“We’re going to SM?” She asked, wide-eyed. Her dad chuckled, she’s too happy. “Is Mark oppa going to be there?” Surprisingly, he can hear your voice saying, ‘You’re really the same. Even Shiho is obsessed with Mark.’ 

--

The Japanese NCT member was smiling to himself when they entered the building and Shiho is becoming a real darling greeting all the staff with a bow and a ‘Good afternoon’. “Taeillie, Johnny samchon, Taeyonggie, Yuta…” She was singing the name of each member of her dad’s group inside the elevator that made Yuta chuckle. “Doyoung samchon, Jaehyunnie, Jungwoo oppa, Mark oppa, Haechannie...” 

“Who taught you that song?” Yuta asked and she mentioned your name. “Why am I just Yuta? You call them samchon and oppa.”

“I’m not yet done.” Shiho revolted then giggled. “My handsome daddy Yuta who loves mommy, Shiho, and Shin.” Yuta grinned. “Winwin oppa, Jungwoo oppa, and Mark oppa, too.” She continued that made him laugh. Why are you like this? He’s going to make this a really long night for the two of you.

When the father-daughter entered the practice room, the other guys ran to where Shiho is that made the younger giggle. She showed the flowers to Jungwoo, and Jaehyun asked her what she did at school. Yuta put her bag on one corner of the room, next to his things, then watched his daughter in adoration. 

He remembered when he first formally introduced you to the guys, they had the same reaction. He never actually saw you the whole night because they kept on talking to you. If not for Doyoung, you wouldn’t have some alone time that night. But that was the time he first realized how much he really liked you. Who would have thought that he’ll have the same feelings while watching his daughter interact with the guys he calls his brothers? 

“Where is Mark oppa?” Shiho innocently asked that made Johnny laugh, teasing Yuta that she is indeed his daughter. The youngest kept on thanking Haechan who gave her a strawberry smoothie that he bought with Mark. Taeil gave her some papers to kill time in drawing, even asking her to draw him. 

Yuta smiled at the younger girl, crouching down beside her in the practice room. “Will you be alright here? Daddy will just practice.” He said while Taeyong called everyone for practice. Shiho nodded, grinning at him with her toothy smile. 

Surprisingly, she really behaved while they were practicing the choreography for their new song in Japanese. Doyoung was just smiling, noticing how she bobbed her head along with the song while busy with her paper and crayons. "You'll probably have a little idol soon." Jaehyun teased. 

This is something that you and Yuta have talked about over and over. What if Shiho wanted to be an idol? As cool as you are, you just wanted to support her whatever she wanted in the future. And he wanted to be as cool as you so he promised to be okay with it. 

--

You were seated on the couch in the lobby when Yuta and Shiho exited the elevator with the other members. Your daughter was running to you, giving her little brother kisses that made you giggle. "Did Shin cry in the doctors?" You nodded your head at her question. "I'm sorry noona can't come with you." She whispered. You smiled at that, she’s really growing up. 

"Hi." You greeted Yuta who gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. "Are you tired? Should we go home?" He shook his head, telling you that you needed to eat dinner since you're all outside. Your husband asked you to take the bags that he placed on the couch as he carried Shin in his arms. You bowed at the other members, thanking them for taking care of Shiho.

Yuta was driving the family car, Shin and Shiho on their child seats. "You should have seen daddy dancing, mommy. He looks mashitta." You giggled at that. It must be really hard for Shiho to learn different languages at once. 

"Honey, daddy is meoshitta. Mashitta is delicious." Her eyes widened in the mistake she did that made you smile. "Maybe daddy is also mashitta, do you want to bite daddy?" You teased that made the six-year-old chuckle. Yuta just shook his head, laughing. 

He decided to grab dinner in a kids' café near your home. Shin was on a high chair and Shiho was next to him, eating her meal. Once done, she asked if she could play on the slide that made Yuta nod. You needed to tire her out or she'll just stay up all night. Kids' energy really is no joke. 

"I can feed, Shin. You should eat more." Yuta volunteered, moving his chair near your son so he could reach him. You only stared at him, smiling as he gave your son some breadsticks to munch on. "I know that look. Do you want me to feed you?" He teased and you nodded, grinning like a small child. 

He twirled some spaghetti using a fork then fed you that made him giggle. "Did Shiho bother you earlier? I'm sorry, I should have brought her with me to the doctor." 

Yuta shook his head, smiling. "She's really behaved earlier." He explained then gave you some breadsticks as well. "I already feel bad that you had to bring Shin to the doctor alone. Next time we can do this set-up." You nodded, it really is easier since you only focused on one child. "So what did the doctor say?" 

You shared what the doctor said, about his teeth growing and his increasing weight and height. "Yuta, I was thinking. Should we transfer to Japan?" He glanced at her in surprise. Why so sudden? "I wanted Shiho to learn Japanese." 

"I can teach her Japanese." Yuta volunteered. "We're doing fine here. And Shiho is enjoying school here." He held her cheek. "She will eventually learn Japanese. We can go on a vacation to Osaka on her break." 

"Don't worry about it, love. She's still struggling with Korean, Japanese will be easy for her." 

--

You always trust Yuta in his decisions especially when it comes to your children. When you're planning to have a child, both your parents would always tell you to talk to each other when it comes to your child. That they matter the most. And it was something that you always keep in mind. 

It was a weekend night. Yuta just finished up some things in the office before heading home. You were washing the dishes when you heard a certain voice humming. “Shiho.” You called from the kitchen hearing the six-year-old singing a song. You knew she sings great, something that she got from your husband. But she was singing an unfamiliar song in a foreign language. "What are you singing? Did you learn it from school?" 

She shook her head, still focused on the task on her book. "This is daddy's song." You knew all the songs on their past albums. But this is relatively new. You decided to listen more and was surprised that she's singing in Japanese. They do have a Japanese comeback but why would Shiho know that song? "I heard it while the uncles were practicing." But how can she even memorize all that? 

A jiggle of the keys was what you heard while folding the laundry, Yuta gave you a kiss on the top of your head. "Are they asleep?" 

You shook your head then held your husband's hand, guiding him to Shiho's room. "Listen." You could hear her voice singing to the song she had been singing all day. Yuta's eyes widened in surprise. "Is it really your song?" 

He nodded. Not only does she pronounce the words clearly, but she was also clearly in tune. But how? Yuta never played the song in the house. She only heard it while practicing. "Did you give birth to a genius? Her pronunciation is even better than yours." You raised an eyebrow at that. "And she's in tune." 

"I do think our children are geniuses. Shin even said mama today." 

"He did?" 

"But Shiho was the one who heard it." 

Yuta smiled, pulling you closer. "They're getting bigger. Maybe it's time for another genius." 

You just shook your head smiling at him. "Put Shiho to sleep first and I'll finish things here." Yuta grinned, opening the door to his daughter's room.  

You had to laugh at yourself. To think that you're worried about Shiho not learning Japanese. Yet, here she is proving you otherwise. She might really be a genius. 

Your children might really be geniuses. Can your family be any more perfect? 

[huttons]

Never Really Was Enough, Pt. I

word count: 4.3k

summary:  When Eva moves to Raleigh, it wasn't a happy occasion. She needed to get away from her family and moving across the country was the quickest way for her to accomplish that. As she finds her place in Raleigh, she finds a new family with people she never expected to (especially with a certain red-headed hockey player).

warnings: talk of past dealings with homophobia, off-screen character death

author’s note: this was written as part of @fandomtrumpshate​ 2020! I was lucky enough to write this for @antoineroussel​ <3 

ao3 link

~ ~ ~

“How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become?”

The day Eva packs up and moves to Raleigh isn’t a happy one. Despite having the chance to start an amazing new job, and the chance to start over, she’s bitter about having to do it. The thought of having to make a new start without a support network is terrifying. But if it means that Eva can have a fresh new start, then so be it.

As Eva puts the last box into the U-Haul, she sighs. Moving across the country isn’t exactly how she had planned on getting away from her family, but she also didn’t think that she would be leaving so soon, either. It was a stroke of luck that she had been hired in North Carolina, and it was even better that she had found an apartment she could afford to live in.

Once she starts the long drive, there’s no heartfelt good-byes, and nobody to send her off. Eva has to remind herself that Lucas is long gone now and there’s nothing holding her back anymore. So, she begins what will likely turn into a week-long trip to Raleigh. It’s mostly a mindless drive, with only a few wrong turns. The days blur into each other, and she only stops for gas, food, and the chance to sleep.

By the time she pulls up to her new apartment complex, she feels exhausted and groans at the thought of having to unpack everything by herself. She drags herself to the front office to get checked in. It’s a smooth process, and once she gets the keys, Eva is hoping it doesn’t take all night to get everything moved up to her apartment.

“Hey, are you new here?” someone asks.

Eva turns and there’s a woman, about her age and blonde hair that glows in the sunlight walking over to the U-Haul.

“Yeah, just got in obviously,” Eva answers with a tired smile. “I’m Eva.”

“Samantha, but everyone calls me Sammy,” she introduces. “Are you here by yourself?”

“Yep, it’s just me,” Eva replies. “I couldn’t afford to hire any help, and my family couldn’t make it out, so it’s just me.”

“Ah, so you moved from far away?”

“Across the country,” Eva answers. “I came from Portland. The one in Oregon.”

“Damn, that’s a long-ass drive,” Sammy jokes. “But I think you’ll like it here. The neighbors are good, for the most part.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“I’m guessing this will take you a while, so I should be able to help you once I pick up my boyfriend from the auto shop.”

“Oh, you don’t have to help.”

Sammy snorts. “Please, you’re going to be here for ages. It’ll be no big deal at all. There aren’t a lot of people our age here, so it won’t be too much of a hassle to help out.”

“Well, if it’s not a big deal, then sure, I’d appreciate the help,” Eva replies with a soft smile. “I live in 417 if I’m not down by the truck.”

“See you then, Eva.”

Once Sammy leaves, Eva looks back to everything she has to unpack. She’s thankful that she doesn’t have a bed or couch to worry about, but Eva isn’t happy about having to sleep on the floor until the bed she ordered comes in. Without the help from her family, though, there was no way she was going to be able to get a bed or a couch into the moving vehicle.

Eva loses track of time, and by the time Sammy and her boyfriend, Patrick, come by to help, it’s late afternoon. They don’t talk much, but the silence is easy, which Eva is unfamiliar with. It’s been a long time since she felt comfortable not feeling like she had to fill the quietness. By the time dinner time rolls around, they finally have everything in Eva’s apartment.

“Are you going to want help unpacking things?” Sammy asks.

“Nah, this was already so much help. I probably would have spent the rest of the night bringing things up here,” Eva answers. “But thank you again, I really appreciate this.”

“We couldn’t not help someone moving in by themselves,” Patrick says. “It’s a big step, what you did. I don’t think I could ever move across the country by myself.”

Eva shrugs. “If you have to do it, then you manage.”

Both Sammy and Patrick don’t ask for more details, which Eva is grateful for. She’s not really sure if she feels comfortable talking about how she ended up here quite yet.

“So, are you really going to be fine sleeping on the floor?” Patrick asks, a little bit of worry in his voice. “I’m sure we could find something more comfortable for you.”

“Yeah, it’s only for a couple of nights until the delivery comes in,” Eva replies. “I just wasn’t sure when I would be getting here, so I guess I’ll just have to suffer for getting here early.”

Sammy snorts. “Alright, well, if you ever need company, we’re just one floor up. And you know what, give me your number so I can text you good places for takeout. I’m sure that you won’t want to be cooking for the next few days.”

“Oh, thank you, that would be nice,” Eva replies, who was planning on just living off of pizza for the next day or two. “I honestly don’t even know what there’s to do here since I just moved out here for work, so honestly, I’ll take any recommendations you have.”

Once Sammy and Patrick leave, Eva has a new contact in her phone and a list of places to check out around Raleigh. It’s a comfort knowing that she already has people willing to help her out here. She isn’t sure how well she’ll click with people at work and the thought of randomly introducing herself to her other neighbors isn’t an appealing idea.

The following week is a hectic one, with Eva trying to get her apartment to feel like a home and making sure that she’s ready to start work. She meets up with Sammy and Patrick again for dinner one night at their apartment to take a break from unpacking all of her boxes. It wasn’t until she moved that she realized how much stuff she accumulated.

“So, what do you two do for work?” Eva inquires.

“I work in the front office for the Canes,” Sammy answers. “And Patrick here is a kindergarten teacher, which is why you see glitter everywhere.”

“That was one time,” Patrick protests. “It’s not my fault it never disappears.”

Sammy snorts. “Yeah, it was a mistake he’s thankfully only made once.”

“Uh, not to sound dumb, but am I supposed to know who the Canes are?” Eva asks, a little nervous. “Are they like…a big company or something?”

“Oh, they’re the NHL team here,” Sammy replies. “I keep forgetting not everyone keeps up with hockey.”

“Well…I guess I’m going to have to start watching it if I’m going to be friends with the two of you,” Eva says. “I’ve only watched one game and that was because it was on at a sports bar my brother and I were at.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal,” Sammy says. “Hockey is fun, but it can be kind of messy sometimes. And I hardly understand it despite working there for a couple years now.”

Eva smiles softly. “Well, in that case, I feel a bit better about not knowing anything.”

“So, what brought you all the way across the country? I don’t think we ever asked,” Patrick inquires. “You don’t have to share if you don’t want to, though.”

“I found a good computer engineering job out this way for a small tech company. My other job just wasn’t cutting it,” Eva explains. “And it was time to get away from the family. Things were…not great, to put things lightly. Turns out they weren’t okay with me being bi.”

“We’re glad to have you here then,” Sammy says decisively. “Family can be shit sometimes, and I’m glad that you’ve been able to get away from them.”

Eva smiles sadly. “Thank you. I don’t think it’s really settled in yet, but I’m proud of myself.”

“You deserve to be proud,” Sammy says. “Now, let’s talk about happier things.”

The rest of the night passes easily and Eva can tell that she’s going to really like Sammy and Patrick. They’re good people and take her coming out with ease. She forgot that plenty of people don’t care about her sexuality, but with a minimal support system back home, it was easy to not remember that. By the time Eva leaves that night, her heart feels fuller and happier than it has in a long time.

When Eva gets back to her apartment, she sighs and makes a list of what needs to be accomplished tomorrow. There’s not much left to do, especially since the bed she ordered had come in a few days ago and she had found a decent couch off of craigslist. Her new job starts on the following Monday, which is only four days away now.

To distract herself, Eva decides to finish all the unpacking the following day, then goes shopping for things to decorate with. She sold most of those things before the cross-country drive, not wanting to hold onto any bad memories. Now she has the chance for a fresh start and it makes her feel light.

By the time Monday morning rolls around, she’s extremely nervous. Despite emails saying that people dress casually, Eva decides to go for a more business casual look, wanting to make a good first impression. She does her best to look like she didn’t stay up all night, then makes the drive out to the office.

“You must be Eva!” someone greets cheerily, once Eva walks in the front door.

“Uh, yes, that’s me,” Eva replies, taken aback by their cheery disposition.

“I’m James, and I’ll be helping you settle into the office,” James explains. “I know this is a lot to take in on a Monday, but today and tomorrow will mostly be orientation and HR stuff.”

“I can handle that,” Eva replies.

James proceeds to show Eva where her desk is and let’s her get settled. He gives her login information for her computer, and then lets her work on settling into her space, along with setting things up with HR. The morning passes quickly, then James is treating Eva to lunch, where they end up visiting a local diner.

“They’re open 24/7 and don’t mind if we stay for hours on end in the middle of the night when we’re trying to meet a project deadline,” James explains, when Eva seems a bit confused.

“Sounds like that’s a common experience,” she snorts.

“Don’t want to scare you off, but you wouldn’t be wrong,” James laughs. “How’s it been so far? I know it’s not that exciting, yet.”

Eva shrugs. “Could be worse. It seems like a good place and like there’s good people here. So, I think I can deal with a couple days of boring paperwork.”

“That’s the spirit!” James says happily. “And I promise that this is an amazing place to work. It’s not all that glamourous, especially since we aren’t a big company or anything, but the culture is what makes people stay.”

“Well, that’s good, glad I took a chance on coming out here then.”

The rest of lunch passes easily and Eva proceeds to spend the rest of the day filling out paperwork. Despite the easiness of the day, she feels exhausted by the time she gets back to her apartment. She reheats leftovers, then goes to pass out on her mildly uncomfortable bed.

The summer passes by quicker than Eva can even process. There’s so much to take in and she doesn’t have time to hurt about her family not asking about how she’s doing. It’s mid-August when she’s hanging out with Sammy, while Patrick preps for school to start up again.

“So, how would you feel coming to a company party with me?” Sammy asks, out of the blue. “It’s in a couple of weeks and I want you to come with me. It’d be fun.”

“Shouldn’t you be going with Patrick?” Eva retorts. “The two of you are dating.”

“Yeah, but I always bring him. Besides, I think you would have fun and would get along with everyone,” Sammy explains. “And honestly, Patrick is a bit all over the place this time of year, so I don’t think he’s too keen on going anyways.”

“What’s the vibe like? Is it a stuffy company party where everyone secretly gets drunk to get through the night or one where people actually like each other?”

“People actually enjoy each other there. And it’ll be a barbecue at one of the player’s houses, so it’s a totally chill thing.”

“Oh, well, it’ll be good to meet your coworkers then. I can finally put some names to faces, but I can’t guarantee that I’ll remember anything.”

“Alright, I’ll make sure that you’re on the guest list. Some of the players will be there with their partners, so you’ll have the chance to meet them if you want to.”

“I honestly could not tell you who’s who still, so I probably won’t even know that I met any of them.”

Sammy laughs. “That’ll provide some good chirping material for them.”

“Glad I could be of service,” Eva jokes.

“You’ll fit right in; I promise.”

~ ~ ~

Finally, the day of the barbecue rolls around. It’s still sticky hot, so Eva keeps her outfit simple with a tank top and a pair of shorts. Sammy insisted that the dress code was casual and there’s no need to dress nice. The whole thing is just a chance for everyone to mingle and meet the new people joining the Canes.

Despite still not really knowing any of the players, Sammy tells Eva about a new player that’s coming to the barbecue today. She seems excited to meet whoever the guy is, so Eva tries to remember his name, but forgets it the closer they get to the house where the get-together is being hosted.

Sammy has to park a little bit away, so when the two of them walk up to the house, Eva lets out a small gasp. The house is huge and the backyard looks gigantic. She supposes it has to be, to host an office party. However, it’s still a reminder how lucrative being an athlete and sports management can be.

“It’s fucking ridiculous, isn’t it?” Sammy snorts. “Not that I’m complaining, since it always means good food and alcohol, but still. I’m still honestly not completely used to it and I’ve been coming to these things ever since I started working here.”

“This is…a lot,” Eva comments. “But I’m excited to look around.”

Once they get into the house, Sammy drags Eva out to the backyard and introduces her to a bunch of people. Eva immediately forgets all of their names, but just smiles and nods along. After a little bit however, she decides to split off from the group to go get some food. She lets Sammy know and walks off to the other side of the yard. Once she gets her food, someone walks up to her and introduces himself.

“I don’t think we’ve met yet,” he says. “I’m Dougie.”

“Oh, it’s good to meet you, I’m Eva,” she replies. “I don’t actually work here, I’m with Sammy. I guess that makes you coworkers, right?”

“Um, I think? Technically?” he replies, unsure.

“Do you work in management then? Didn’t take you for the type, but I guess I shouldn’t judge.”

“Um, I mean-” Dougie starts to say.

“Dougie, get over here, we need to show you something!” someone else shouts.

He looks apologetically over at Eva before heading over to the group. Eva obviously wants to know what he was going to say, but shrugs it off and walks over to Sammy. She’s still animatedly talking to the same people as before, but smiles over at Eva when she joins the group again. After a few minutes, they head off to grab food as well.

“So, meet anyone exciting yet?” Sammy asks. “There’s a few players and they’ll introduce themselves to anyone new.”

“I might have met your boss? Or management?” Eva answers, still unsure of what Dougie’s role is.

“Oh, isn’t she amazing?” Sam gushes.

“She? Well, I guess I shouldn’t have assumed her gender,” Eva replies, immediately feeling bad.

Sammy looks confused. “Um…I don’t think we’re talking about the same person. My boss is over there.”

She points to a petite woman, with ebony skin. So, definitely not Dougie then.

“Well…that is definitely not who I met,” Eva whispers. “His name was Dougie.”

“You met Dougie? That’s the new player I was talking about!” Sammy exclaims. “We literally talked about this before we got here.”

“I was nervous! I don’t remember things when I get nervous.”

“Did you say anything embarrassing to him?”

“I mean, I basically told him that he didn’t seem like the management type? Because he said he was only technically a coworker of yours.”

Sammy snorts. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you told him that to his face.”

“How was I supposed to know?” Eva exclaims. “And I wasn’t wrong, was I? He isn’t the management type.”

“God, I can’t wait to tell everyone about this,” Sammy says, laughing.

“I’m making such a bad first impression,” Eva groans.

“No, I promise this will only make everyone love you more.”

“Whatever you say,” Eva replies skeptically.

Fortunately, the day passes in a much less embarrassing fashion for Eva. She manages to avoid Dougie the rest of the time she’s there, not wanting to address how badly she made a fool of herself. Normally, Eva likes to think she’s more put together than this, but something about it just makes her feel awkward.

“So, what did you think?” Sammy asks as they head out.

“It was fun,” Eva answers. “Still can’t believe I made a fool of myself in front of Dougie, though.”

“Honestly, I don’t think it’s really going to be that big of a deal. I don’t think he’s the type of player to get mad about someone not recognizing him.”

“Oh, well, that’s good at least,” Eva jokes. “But then again, I doubt I’ll be seeing him again, so I guess I shouldn’t be too worried.”

“Bold of you to assume I’m not dragging you to another event soon.”

“Seriously? Why would you take me to another one of these?”

Sammy shrugs. “Patrick has never been too much of a fan of going and I don’t like going by myself. So, I’ll keep taking you until you get sick of it.”

Eva snorts. “Well, at least you’re being honest. It was fun today besides me being an actual idiot, so I guess I can tag along again. When’s the next thing?”

“We usually have something else when the preseason ends, so probably the end of September at some point. It’s much more relaxed since the players are usually off the walls with the energy to finally start the season again.”

“I won’t ever turn down the chance for decent free food, so count me in.”

“What do you need free food for? You earn just as much as Patrick and I combined in one year.”

“You’re not wrong, but it’s also a hold over from the college days. Some things just don’t change.”

Sammy just rolls her eyes in response. Once they get back to the apartment complex, Sammy drags Eva up to her apartment to tell Patrick about meeting Dougie. Eva is blushing out of pure embarrassment the whole time. She has a feeling that she’s not going to ever live it down, but she guesses there’s worse things to be teased about.

“For someone who’s so smart, I can’t believe you did that,” Patrick says, laughing.

“Oh my god, it’s not my fault half of these guys look exactly the same!” Eva exclaims. “And it’s not like it’s my job to know which one is which.”

“Well, you’re going to have to learn if you’re coming with me to more company events,” Sammy points out.

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Eva groans. “I take back my standing offer of going with you, you don’t deserve it anymore.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” Sammy says. “Besides, what happened to wanting free food?”

“No longer worth it,” Eva replies.

Patrick and Sammy laugh in reply. Eva just rolls her eyes.

“As much fun as I had today, I should probably head out. We have a huge project coming up at work and I know I’m going to be pulling more all-nighters than I want to admit,” Eva says.

“Alright, try to get some rest at least,” Patrick says.

“I’ll do my best,” Eva replies, as she heads out of the apartment.

The weeks pass by in a blur, especially since Eva gets swept up in project deadlines. Before she knows it, it’s the end of September and Sammy is dragging her to the season kickoff party. This time, it’s at a different player’s house, but the place is still as extravagant as the last one. Eva also had made sure to try and memorize a couple of players’ names and faces.

“Hey, it’s…Eva, right?” Dougie says, coming up to her and Sammy.

“Oh yes, that’s right,” Eva replies awkwardly. “And Dougie? Who doesn’t happen to work in management, but is instead a player?”

He snorts. “Yeah, that would be me. The guys still haven’t let me live that one down.”

“Glad I could provide some quality material,” Eva jokes.

“Don’t worry, I’ve made sure that she’s gotten some shit for it as well,” Sammy interjects. “Wanted to make sure the chirping was solid on both sides of it.”

Dougie laughs, and Eva feels herself warming a little at the sound. It’s a good laugh, and she feels a bit odd at admitting the fact. She shoves any thoughts of associating Dougie with being good or cute, not wanting to even go down that road.

“It seems like you’re settling in well,” Sammy says. “Is Raleigh everything you ever dreamed?”

“Ah yes, definitely living out all of my dreams here,” Dougie jokes, good-naturedly. “I do enjoy it here, though. I feel like it’ll be good.”

“Then it seems you and Eva are in the same boat,” Sammy replies. “She’s fairly new in town as well.”

“Oh? What brings you out here?” Dougie inquires.

“If y’all are going to bond over being the newbies, I’m going to go and get some food,” Sammy says, heading off.

Once she’s gone, Eva answers, “I moved out here for work, actually. Moved from Portland, Oregon, so it’s definitely a lot to get used to.”

“You really moved across the country for work?” Dougie says, a bit surprised.

“Yeah, I just…needed a scenery change and Raleigh was the first place that offered a decent job in a place I wasn’t completely opposed to moving to,” Eva explains. “I mean, it wasn’t hard to find computer engineering jobs, so I guess I was able to be a bit picky.”

“Computer engineering? I didn’t take you for the type,” Dougie teases.

“Oh my god, you’re not going to live me that down, are you?”

“The opportunity presented itself, and I didn’t want to pass it up. But seriously, that’s cool, even if I don’t understand what that even means.”

“It’s not much, we just help develop computer hardware and software. Most of the training is in electrical engineering anyways, so it’s not hard to adapt skills across the board.”

Dougie snorts. “It’s not much, she says. That’s still pretty impressive, Eva.”

“Well, thanks, I guess.”

“But I still can’t imagine why you chose Raleigh of all places. Why not New York or Seattle, or whatever? I feel like those places are more known for their tech industries.”

“Seattle was a little close to home for me, and I was also just tired of living in a big city, so moving to an even bigger city was out of the question.”

“That’s understandable, I guess.”

“So, I know you’re a new player here because Sammy mentioned it. But did you sign here or…I honestly have no idea how this works.”

“Nah, I was traded from Calgary.”

“…Is that in Canada?”

“Yeah, that’s in Canada,” Dougie replies, laughing.

“You’re going to chirp me about that too, aren’t you?” Eva groans.

“It’s only fair.”

“Did I miss Eva doing something dumb?” Sammy asks, coming back with a plate of food for herself and Eva.

“Yes, she didn’t know where Calgary is,” Dougie answers.

“Well, I can’t blame her for not knowing. It’s really not that remarkable,” Sammy retorts.

Dougie laughs again, and Eva feels herself blushing a little. He seems like a good person and definitely isn’t hard to look at. She tries to push those thoughts out of her head, knowing that if she manages to develop a crush on him, that it’ll go nowhere. The chances of anything happening between the two of them is slim at best.

“I’ll let the two of you continue enjoying the party, I’m going to go see how everyone else is doing,” Dougie says. “Hopefully I’ll see you later?”

“Oh, you definitely will,” Sammy says, rather ominously.

Dougie smiles, then heads off to where the food is located. Sammy immediately turns to Eva and raises an eyebrow.

“What?” Eva asks. “Do I have something on my face?”

“No, it just seems like the two of you were getting along pretty well.”

“I was just being polite,” Eva says indignantly.

“Uh huh, I’m sure that’s what was going on.”

“Oh my god, you’re the worst.”

“Look, if the two of you become friends, or maybe you know…exclusive, I’m taking all the credit.”

“Nothing is going to happen because we’ll only see each other at these events if I decide to keep coming.”

“Not if I have anything to do with it,” Sammy says, smiling brightly.

“I don’t like where this is going.”

“You’ll be thanking me later, Eva, I promise.”

[honeypiehotchner]

Beautiful Stranger (Chris Evans x OFC) -- part ten

Hello again! I know it’s been awhile, apologies for that. I had some big writing pieces I had to focus on and get turned in before I did anything else. That being said, I’m submitting a ton of original works to contests in the next few weeks, so updates here could be a little teeny bit slow. But I am still writing! I have up to part twelve done already ;))

Anywho, enjoy xx.

Warnings: Just Chris being an absolute gentleman. Teeth-rotting fluff.

Chris and I have dinner together every night now. Or, we try to.

He’s filming again, which means sometimes our dinners have to be postponed, or one time he ordered in and had it there right when I got home, because he needed to leave a few minutes later for work. It’s become our routine.

Oh, and we exchanged numbers.

Which means the text messages like the one I’m smiling down at right now is a frequent occurrence.

Chris: Seb won’t stop trying to take my phone. If you get a creepy text, it’s him I swear

I chuckle, completely okay now with the fact that he can hear.

Noted. Tell Scarlett I say hiii

Scarlett and I are on better terms -- not that we were on bad terms to begin with, but I did think she was dating Chris. She doesn’t know the way I acted, unless Chris told her, but regardless, I see now that she’s super sweet.

Chris: Scarlett says hi back. She wants to meet you again

I smile.

We should invite her over one night. I could invite Camile over, too?

Chris has yet to meet Camile and that’s entirely my doing. She’s asked, and I’ve politely told her no. I want to be sure about him before I have him meeting my best friend. I’ve also just...enjoyed our quiet evenings together, getting to relax after the day. I don’t want anything about it to change, and for some reason, my brain thinks that if I let Camile meet him too soon, it will change.

Jack knows now, too, only because it slipped out of my mouth one night when he invited me to dinner with him and Camile. I told him I was actually having dinner with Chris, and Camile’s eyes widened because she had yet to tell him the news.

Jack didn’t scream, but he also wasn’t totally unfazed, either.

Chris: Scarlett said she’d love that (I would too for the record)

I roll my eyes. Somehow I can see his smile in my mind.

Let’s do it then. Would you be okay with Camile inviting Jack?

I anxiously await Chris’s reply.

Chris: Of course. As long as you’re okay with it

I let out a breath.

You’re the best

I hear a sweet laugh echo in my mind, and my chest swells.

Chris: Well Seb saw my messages and is now annoyed that he didn’t get an invite

Another eye roll. I’ve never met Sebastain, but from everything Chris has told me, I hear he can be a little dramatic.

Tell him I said stop pouting and he’ll be invited

A loud laugh. A pause.

Chris: Pouting has stopped and he said he will be there

My little moment is interrupted when a stack of papers is slammed onto my desk. My eyes follow the arm up to my boss, who doesn’t look pleased.

“I need these rooms booked,” he says firmly, then raises an eyebrow. “Unless your phone is more interesting than my conference.”

“No sir,” I shake my head, turning my phone over on my desk, unfortunately leaving Chris on read. I hate doing that to anyone, especially Chris. “I’ll have them booked by the end of the day.”

“Hm,” is all he says, taking his hand off the papers. He’ll never say thank you. He’s above simple manners, apparently. “Who are you texting?”

“Excuse me?” I let out a startled laugh. It isn’t new for him to be insanely nosy, but since it was my soulmate, I feel particularly defensive. “I’m sorry, but it’s not your business.”

“It is my business when my employee is on her phone instead of doing her work,” he snaps. “Don’t let it happen again.”

“It won’t,” I reply out of instinct, though I don’t mean it. I’ll just be more careful. Or I’ll have to tell Chris I can’t text at work anymore.

My boss stalks off to his office and makes eye contact with me as he shuts his door. I’ve successfully worsened his mood and it isn’t even lunchtime yet. Perfect.

+++

When I take my lunch hour at one -- I usually do noon, but Chris said he’s supposed to have lunch at one today, too -- I’m exhausted.

I’ve tried booking the rooms, but only half of the ones my boss wants are actually available. It’s been a lot of sweet talking and crunching numbers to make it work, and that’s only conference rooms. Let’s hope the hotel rooms he needs aren’t already taken, too.

I reach in my purse for my keys, deciding I need a drive today to get lunch. I get an hour and a half -- because I clocked in early -- so I can afford to drive instead of walking somewhere next door.

What I don’t expect, though, is to get to my car on the sidewalk by my work, and see a certain someone leaning up against it.

“Chris?” I narrow my eyes. “What are you doing?”

He’s got two cups of coffee in his hands, a hat on his head and sunglasses over his eyes. But that smile is still unmistakable. And the shoulders. The arms, too. Hands -- I digress.

I take one of the cups from him and try not to grin. “Nice disguise.”

“Thank you,” he replies, tipping his cup to me. “I try.”

“Well get in before someone recognizes you,” I gesture to my car that he’s leaning against. “Idiot,” I mutter under my breath.

Once we’re inside my car and the doors are locked, he says, “Did you just call me an idiot?” He takes his sunglasses off for dramatic effect.

“Because you’re not supposed to be out in the wild!”

“Out in the wild?” He laughs.

“I don’t know!” I say through my own laughter. “You know what I meant. Aren’t you afraid someone will recognize you?”

“I’m wearing a hat.”

I give him a look.

“I promise, I wouldn’t have done this if I thought I’d get mobbed. I wouldn’t put you in that kind of danger.”

I try not to frown, but I still do, and he still sees it.

“No, come on, I wanted to surprise you to make you smile, not make you sad.”

“I’m not sad.” I pull my seatbelt over my body and start the car. “I appreciate this, really.”

“I didn’t know if you would since you stopped texting me.”

I know he’s teasing, but I’m already not in the best mood, so I can’t help the word vomit that comes out of my mouth. “I’m so sorry, my boss got pissed that I was on my phone, so I’m gonna have to stop texting at work for now.”

Anyone else probably would’ve brushed it off because bosses are sometimes universally known to not be totally great, but this is Chris. This is Chris, who knows all the bullshit my boss puts me through, so it makes sense that his only emotion is concern.

“Are you okay? Did he say anything to you?”

“I’m okay,” I breathe, stopping at a red light. “And he just asked who I was texting, but I told him it wasn’t his business.”

“It’s not.”

“I mean, I shouldn’t have been on my phone--”

“Don’t make excuses for his shitty behavior, Eva.”

“I’m not,” I fire back, turning left at the light. “Sorry, I’m just driving, I didn’t even ask-- What do you want for lunch?”

“Whatever you want,” he shrugs. “This is your lunch hour, I’m just tagging along.”

“Okay,” I let out another long breath. “I’m sorry, I feel like every time I see you I’m complaining about how stressed out I am.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not, though. How’s filming? How’s set?”

“It’s good,” he replies, shrugging. “I would tell you more, but we’re not really allowed. They’re very secretive about this stuff.”

“Okay,” I chuckle, trying to ignore the small bit of agitation in my chest. It’s not because of him. I know it’s because of my boss. “When are we gonna have dinner with everyone?”

“We have this weekend off, if that works for Camile and Jack.”

I nod. “It should.” I pause, looking around at where I am. I realize that my body has gone on autopilot and driven me to The Nines. “How good is that disguise?”

“What? It’s pretty good, I stood out by your car for ten minutes.”

“Well, we’re gonna go to my favorite diner,” I hit my signal to park. “It’s really small, though, so you might not need it.”

“Okay…” Chris looks nervous.

“I promise,” I assure him as I swing into the parking space. “I wouldn’t bring you in here if I thought you’d get mobbed. Kevin might recognize you, but he’s the most relaxed person I’ve ever met.”

Still, Chris puts on his sunglasses. “I trust you.”

I smile, cutting off the engine. While I’m doing that, though, Chris is jumping out of my car and coming around to the driver’s side to open my door for me. And then when we reach the door to The Nines, he’s opening that one for me, too.

“I see chivalry is alive and well today,” I comment. “Coffee,” I hold up my cup, “and opening doors for me? I feel lucky.”

Chris shakes his head with a smile, clearly bashful and a little nervous. It’s this moment that I realize this is the first time we’ve been in public with one another. Granted, it’s The Nines, which is almost always deserted -- except at two in the morning when the college kids congregate before finals -- but still. 

I lead Chris to Camile and I’s favorite booth, sliding in across from him as he takes off his sunglasses, but leaves the hat -- for good reason. Kevin is walking over a second later, already making some comment about what he told me last time about it being offensive when I walk in here with outside coffee, but he stops when he sees Chris.

“Wait,” Kevin’s voice lowers, and I see Chris shift in his seat. “Steve Rogers?” He whispers.

“I prefer Chris,” my soulmate tries to joke, chuckling a little.

“Dope,” Kevin says. “Can you sign a napkin for me?”

“Sure.”

“Dope,” Kevin repeats, then acts like he forgets what just happened. “Anywho, what are we eating? Since I see you’ve brought outside coffee in here yet again.”

“You’ll live, Kev,” I roll my eyes. “And the usual.”

“What’s the usual?” Chris asks.

“You’ll see,” Kevin replies, then walks away.

Chris gives me a bewildered look and I grimace.

“Sorry. That’s Kevin for ya.”

“No, it’s okay, just not the interaction I normally have.”

“Yeah,” I still grimace. “Oh, and please sign something for him. He won’t bring it up again, but he’ll ask me about it every damn time I see him after this.”

“Got it,” Chris pulls one of the napkins out of the holder and produces a Sharpie from his jacket pocket.

I raise an eyebrow.

“What?” He defends. “It’s always here.”

“Whatever you say.”

“The slander,” he shakes his head, expertly signing the napkin despite how flimsy it is. I try not to look too amazed at how he does it and how flawless his signature looks.

Kevin returns with a cup of water, sitting it down in front of me. “I just wanted an excuse to come back over.”

Chris taps Kevin’s arm to get his attention. “Here you go.”

Kevin glances at the napkin and sees what it is, and clutches the flimsy paper to his chest. “Thank you, kind sir.”

Chris laughs. “It’s no problem.”

“Alright, I’ll leave you two kids alone. I’ll be back with food.”

“You better,” I joke, resting my head in my hand.

True to his word, Kevin returns with a tray holding a platter of steak fries and a bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy.

“Bon appetit,” Kev sings, bowing as he backs away from the table.

Chris stares at me with raised eyebrows. “What is this?”

I give him a weird look in return as I dip one of the fries into the mashed potatoes and gravy. “It’s lunch.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m deadly serious,” I reply smoothly, picking up my glass of water to take a sip. “This is my comfort food, come on, try it.”

But I didn’t need to beg him because he’s already doing it, definitely to entertain me, but that’s fine with me. I watch his face as he eats, waiting for it, and eventually it hits.

The amazement. The agitation that it actually tastes good.

I giggle, muffling the sound with another fry. “It’s good.”

“It’s so good,” he nods, laughing with me as he dips another fry. “Not the most healthy, but.”

“Eh, comfort food isn’t supposed to be healthy,” I tease, swirling my fry in the gravy. “My mom and I used to get this and hot chocolate when we were out shopping.” I pause, wondering why the hell I’m telling him this at lunch. 

Talk about your dead parents, Eva. That’s a great lunchtime conversation.

“Yeah?” Chris says, waiting for me to go on.

So I do. “She used retail therapy a lot to get her mind off fighting with my dad.”

“Did you guys come here?”

“No,” I shake my head. “We went to a place called the Broadway Diner, but it’s closed now. I just remembered this and started having it here one day. Kev gave me the same look you did until he tried it.”

Chris chuckles, leaning on his elbow as he eats another. “I’ll be honest, I didn’t think it would work. I thought it’d be too much potato.”

“It does seem like it,” I agree. “But it’s strangely not.”

Chris points at me with a fry, swallowing his last bite before asking, “What do you want to have this weekend?”

“Are you cooking again?”

“If you want me to.”

I make a face. “I wouldn’t be opposed…”

He grins. “Then I’ll cook. Anything you want?”

“Surprise me,” I tease. “That went pretty well last time.”

“Alright, I’ll figure something out,” he promises. “You should come see Dodger soon. He misses you.”

“Does he now?”

Chris pulls his infamous puppy dog eyes -- Dodger’s are better, but don’t tell him that -- and nods seriously. “He does.”

“Hm, then I guess I’ll just have to come over tonight,” I shrug. “What time will you be done?”

“Soon, hopefully,” Chris breathes. “I’ll text you.” But he pauses. “Or maybe I won’t.”

“After five,” I chuckle. “But yeah, no more today, sorry. I probably shouldn’t anger the beast anymore.”

Chris frowns. “Okay.”

“It’s okay,” I tell him, hoping that’ll make his frown fade, but it doesn’t. It grows deeper. “Hey, it is.”

“I don’t like that you think it is,” he murmurs. “He shouldn’t be as demanding as he is.”

“He’s my boss.”

“He shouldn’t ask you to work late or to call his wife and cancel their dinner plans,” Chris counters.

And I frown. Because that’s only half of what my boss asks of me. I’ve only told Chris half. And judging by how he’s reacted, I don’t know if I’ll tell him the other half.

“It’s fine,” I say again, and when Chris gives me a look, I give him one back.

“Okay, fine,” he waves his hand in surrender. “I’ll stop.”

“Thank you.”

“But if he does anything that makes you uncomfortable, you tell me.”

“What are you gonna do?” I laugh, a little nervously. “Beat him up?”

Chris thinks it over. “Let’s go with that.”

“Chris!”

“I’m kidding!” His hand reaches over and touches mine gently. Gentle enough that I stop moving completely and watch him. “But please tell me.”

“Okay,” I promise, and I mean it. “I will.”

He turns my hand over and squeezes softly, his thumb rubbing circles, and he doesn’t let go.

But it’s okay. I didn’t want him to let go, anyway.

[daemongal]

The greatest gift

V x reader, angst, SFW.

T.W. mention of thoughts of suicide.

For some reason I have decided to celebrate V's special day with this. Hope you enjoy my first attempt at writing angst :)

___________

Today was V's birthday, and the anniversary of the day you met the tattooed man, a day you would never forget.

You had found him shambling around looking lost and disjointed, completely stark naked. You can’t really remember what went through your mind at that moment. Normally you’d stay as far away as possible from weird men, especially those who were happy enough to put themselves on display, but you remember feeling an intense desire to protect him, the moment you laid eyes on him; a feeling skin to how a mother feels the first time they hold their child in their arms.

You gave him your coat to cover his modesty and established that his name was V. You remember how taken aback he was at your generosity when you welcomed him into your home and how confused he was at your concern for his wellbeing. You fed him, worried that he hadn’t eaten in days considering how frail his body looked. He would always tell you that he was fine, and that his body was just weak.

When everything started going to hell, he was there at your side, protecting you with every ounce of his being. You would tell him repeatedly how strong he was, how brave he was but a look of guilt seemed to forever linger in his eyes. You took refuge with him at the Devil May Cry which remained vacant in a somewhat safer part of town, after its proprietor had fallen at the hands of the Demon King. V told you to leave, to evacuate from the town and stay away, but you couldn’t leave him. You knew you couldn’t protect him, but you still wanted to be there for him. He said you gave him strength, the strength to keep fighting.

He would leave in the mornings, scouting for any survivors, returning just after sunset each day with supplies and stories of his exploits. You would listen to him talk for hours, savouring every note of his voice. Each night you would retreat to bed and hold each other so tight that not even the splitting of the earth could separate you.

It was love, of that much you were sure. You still remember the look of pure disbelief on his face when you told him the first time. He told you he was undeserving, that your love was too good for him, that he was a weak and futile being that could never give you the happiness you truly deserved.

“If only he knew how wrong he was” you thought. You smiled to yourself, pulling yourself out of your daydream as you pressed the buzzer on the bus, signalling it to stop. You stepped down the ramp that had been lowered for you, flashing a smile at the bus driver as you left. You knew you had a bit of a walk to your destination, buses tended to just stick to the main roads these days, but you didn’t mind. You enjoyed the memories attached to these tracks.

You knew back then he had secrets, but you told him time and time again that his secrets were his and his alone and that you knew him well enough that anything he kept from you would be for your protection.

You sighed as you walked further up the track. You knew nothing would have changed if you had known, if he had told you the truth. His determination and drive were the features that drew you to him, and you knew nothing would have changed his goal or the outcome. Redgrave was slowly recovering from its loss, and you had a family now. It was chaotic and messy, but Kyrie’s cooking was second to none and Nero was like the brother you never had.

You hadn’t been to visit V in a while, a guilty pang hit your chest at the thought, but your life had become busy as of late and you knew he would understand. You smiled as you were nearing the house on the hill; his family home.

You knew there was something wrong that morning. He had woken you up earlier than usual, a darkness and passion in his eyes deeper than you had ever seen before. You had made love with unrivalled intensity as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear, and etched his very presence onto your soul. He told you he would be back by nightfall, as he always was. You didn’t believe him, yet there you stood, at the door giving him his kiss goodbye, waving him off as you always did. The tears began to fall soon after. You remember the door opening that night and the elation you felt. When Nero stepped through the door, bloodied and bruised avoiding any and all eye contact, you dropped to the floor, legs no longer able to bear the despair you felt.

You took a deep breath as you stood at your destination. You put the breaks on the stroller and reached for the flowers resting against the hood. You had decided on white lilies, soft and gentle much like his heart. You placed them on the memorial as you dusted the headstone with your hand, removing any debris. You gently lifted your daughter out of their seat and held her.

“Hey V.” You started, taking a deep breath to still your words. “Sorry it’s been a while, I’ve been pretty preoccupied.” You gazed lovingly towards your daughter. “Isn’t she incredible darling. Born of our love. Your legacy.” You pressed a kiss to her soft head to calm your shaking breath. You promised that you would always be strong for him, and that wasn’t going to change.

“She has your eyes. The nurses said they’d never seen a new born like her; lily white hair and eyes that looked like they’d seen the world five times over. Nero's enamoured with her. Calls himself Uncle Nero, he’s even stopped swearing, said he doesn’t want to be a bad influence, I know, you’d have to see it to believe it. Nico's determined that her first words are going to be dead weight.” You laughed quietly to yourself, fighting back the heat rising in your face and the stinging in the corners of your eyes.

“Still no sign of Dante returning, or Nero's old man. I hope they’re both ok. I’d like to meet him sometime, Virgil that is. Tell him how lucky he is to have such a great son. I don’t think it’ll be long before little Eva has herself a cousin. I’ve seen the way Kyrie looks at him when he holds her.” She held your index finger tightly in her hand as you spoke.

“Oh yeah, I hope you don’t mind, I named her after your mother. You were always at your happiest when you spoke about your childhood and I wanted to picture that smile whenever I looked at her.” You paused for a moment to gather your thoughts .

“I’m so sorry that you weren’t here to... to hold her with... me...” your vision blurred as you felt a familiar warmth on your cheeks, as the tears began to pour from your eyes against your control. Your arms shook as you placed Eva back in her seat and collapsed to your knees, hands against your face, throat burning from fighting back the tears and chest heaving with every intake of breath.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t do this! I never wanted you to see me like this. I needed to be strong for you V, I was your strength, I was your reason to keep fighting. I’ve needed you so much these past few months, I’ve fought so hard. I’ve struggled so much. Every time I look at her, I see you. If it wasn’t for her I... I... probably wouldn’t even be here.” You were sobbing uncontrollably, spilling your heart out, everything you wanted to hide and conceal behind a facade. But you were breaking, you couldn’t keep it up any more.

“I was ready to join you V, oh so ready. And then I found out, I had a life inside of me; a life that we created together. Even though you’re not here, every part of you that has been left behind is keeping me going, keeping me alive, protecting me. Someone weak couldn’t do that, someone weak couldn’t create such beauty.” The tears eased as you glanced towards your daughters peaceful face. You wiped your eyes, the tears stilling for long enough for you to regain some of your composure.

“Love seeketh not itself to please, nor for itself hath any care, but for another gives its ease, and builds a heaven in hells despair.” You read the words engraved into the headstone in front of you, tracing them with your fingers as you did. “I spent many a long night reading your book. The only peace I could find was in its pages. I read this one from the hospital bed the night I found out about our treasure and nothing has ever resonated with me more.”

You shared a few moments of silence, before a familiar gurgling began from behind you. You chuckled as you stood up. “For someone who used to struggle to clear a plate of food, you sure made one hungry baby.” You lifted her and cradled her against your breast. “Thank you , V. You’ve given me the greatest gift I could have imagined. How something so pure could have been born from a hell so grim, only you could have done this.” You looked down the hill to see the familiar van waiting. Nico knew you were coming today and offered to pick you up on her way back home, knowing you’d probably not want to face public transport.

“Looks like my ride is here. Nico's always on time now, and her driving has never been better. She realised her driving was not child safe in the slightest. How I made it to the hospital in one piece when I went into labour I'll never know. I don’t know who was freaking out more, her or Nero!” You smiled at the happy memories. You had so many of them now, and it was all possible because of him.

“Happy birthday, V. I’ll make sure she knows who her father was and how incredible he was.” You placed Eva back in the stroller as she gives you a content gargle.

“I’ll make you proud V. I’ll do it for the both of us... I love you.”

___________

A/N: I decided to go with a scenario where you were never told about what really happened in the Qliphoth. As far as you were aware, he died at the hands of Urizen (just in case anyone cared enough to wonder haha). Also, for the purpose of this fic, Devil May Cry is located in Redgrave, just seemed like a good place to stow away in my mind.

I'm sorry ;_;

[revengeisalwaysanoption]

[Skam Italia] Ficlet: Flawed 2/2

And that’s it :D Again, it’s an unbetaed&unedited VERY LITTLE story I am writing to cope… I hope you will like it as well :) ! Edited to add:  I’d like to dedicate this to Ibisco and @annefraid The first, with her wonderful story (Resilience: go and read it if you understand Italian, it’s so good HERE ) I am a sucker for the boy squad taking care of Nico, so… Another reminder that THEY - both Nico AND Marti - are not alone was due ;) ! And Anne… wow, what an insight on Marti’s deep rooted insecurities in “try and evolve”! I mention them here but it’s all thanks to amazing fic for making me realize how Marti might see Niccolò!

******

Martino knows he screwed up. He isn’t that much of a ‘disaster gay’ – no matter how often Filippo (and his own friends, those jerks!!) likes to address him as such, to rile his Rose up – not to notice the way Nico’s mood plummeted as soon as he sat down at the table this morning. Regretting having to deal with how grumpy Martino can be, before he had any caffeine in him, already? That’s understandable… But quite unlikely. They aren’t really living together, yet, but they are past those petty fights. Who cared if someone seemed always to be too tired to do the dishes or to mop the floor? They never even discussed such trivial things, to be honest: taking care of Nico, making sure he lives in a spotless and tidy environment, is not a chore and Marti really doesn’t mind. Besides, they have a clashing definitions of order and totally different perceptions of how dirty the flat can get before it has to be cleaned. They easily met halfway, agreeing to let Niccolò do things his way and at his own pace, without having to talk about it.

So… if it wasn’t about Martino’s charming decaffeinated personality… What made him run for the hills? Was it something he said? It must be. Fuck. Why does his brain-to-mouth filter always fail him when he needs it the most? And yeah, there is a niggling voice in his head going like ‘You shouldn’t have to overthink every word you say, in fear you’re gonna hurt Nico or something. You should be free to be yourself, including who you are at your worst.’ but he’s not listening to that. What’s wrong with refusing to settle for the person he is now, and striving to become a gentler and more considerate one in the future? What’s so bad about Niccolò inspiring him to give it a try, at least? Nothing; you can’t change his mind. Moreover, he has to make up for the complete lack of any talent whatsoever… Like, okay, compared to Nico - who excels at everything he does, and it’s a lot- he can be dull and boring but at least he’s great at owning up to his mistakes - the whole ton of them - and learn. And it’s more that can be said for so many people out there, including dad, so… Lesson of the day: do not speak until you had your coffee, Martino, and a kiss from Niccolò so that you don’t forget how lucky you are to have this - HIM - to come home to. That no matter how awful you day is going to be - and no, you can’t really know beforehand, so stop being so damn negative and over dramatic… - there are always going those moments with Niccolò that will brighten it.

Okay? Okay. Now, let’s get back to the matter at hand. After the unfortunate comparison of an obsessive-compulsive disorder to a penchant for loving neatly written notes, and finding out that Martino still his that awful word – ‘psychopath’ – in his vocabulary… It wouldn’t be too far for Niccolò to persuade himself that he was belittling his efforts (as well as his mother’s) to get out of bed in the morning, on his darkest days. That’s not what he meant, of course.

’Well, you know none of your friends meant it when they said they wanted somebody to kill them, or that they were going to jump off a bridge because of school. They don’t do that anymore, because they know it reminds you of the bad place Nico’s mind can go sometimes… but some other classmates still throw those words around like it’s nothing, like they are really clinically depressed because their shitty most beloved show got cancelled or their favorite character died.’

That’s it: that’s exactly the point. He knows and it still hurts. It still makes him want to stand up and scream ‘SHUT UP, YOU IDIOTS! YOU KNOW NOTHING, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!’ at the top of his lungs. He can’t blame Nico for being so disappointed with him that he had to leave…

Well, all this mulling and self-deprecation won’t fix anything. He’d better think how to show him that even though he quite an asshole, he never acts out of maliciousness. He might have hit where it hurt out of anger, in the past, to drive people away… He wouldn’t do it, now. Not even as a last resort. He can only hope it will be enough, for Nico.

So… What should he do next? Should he run after him? Leave him some space? Should he really let Niccolò believe that he forgot what tomorrow means for them – for Martino himself - not to spoil the surprise? He had even persuaded Sana to let him be the main speaker, for once… He had a Spotify playlist ready to play, to let Niccolò know what he cannot say with words and sometimes fails to show with his actions…

He… He has no idea, like, his brain is fuzzy static and he’s pretty sure he will start hyperventilating soon… He needs help. Yep. If there’s one thing he got out of those hell months back in 2018 is that he doesn’t have to deal with any kind of crisis alone. Luca reaches out to them when he can’t find the right outfit for his dates with Silvia, when he doesn’t know if it really would be wise to eat that last piece of sushi even though he’s about to puke… And they should be aware that Niccolò might need them as well, even though he doesn’t dare to ask.

“Marti. First thing you gotta do is calm down…” Giovanni writes in the chat, as soon as he listens to his frantic voice message. “Don’t die on us, man. Oxygen is your friend. Even if it’s being a bitch now, being so heavy and shit…” Elia adds, making him smile. “Deep breaths. In. Out. Picture yourself lying down in a field… Feel the grass. Be the grass.” Luca joins in, earning rolling-eyes emojis and thumbs down.

“Is this something you heard from Silvietta, Lu?” “Actually from our yoga teacher…” “Well, stop it because it’s making me long for some weed and we have to stay lucid and sharp here for Marti and Nico.” Giovanni says in the chat, before calling Martino. “Listen. I’ll be quick: show up at school, because we can’t do much over the phone. I know you probably want to send out a search party for Niccolò rather that sit behind a desk for so long, but you have to trust that he knows how to take care of himself and that, like any of us, simply needs a couple of hours to cool down. It’s not like you killed someone, come on…”

“Yeah, but… what if he doesn’t forgive me?” He forgave him so many times, ever since that morning in the boys’ restrooms, what if this is his breaking point? “Then it’s his problem for holding you up to impossible standards, man, not yours. Don’t even try to fight me on that. You’re my best friend, Marti, and I won’t allow anyone to talk shit about you. Not even yourself.” “I’m far…” “… from perfect? Who isn’t? And don’t say Niccolò. Nope, I hate to break it to you, but he’s some major flaws too. And so do I, and so do you, Eva, Sofia, and anyone out there. Trust me: I call you out when you’ve got your head so far up your ass that you forgot how sunlight feels like and THIS is not the case. Don’t make me come over and drag you all the way to 5B’s door.” Martino is aware that it’s just an empty threat, that Giovanni would hardly ever pressure him into anything, and yet he sighs and promises he is going to be there for nine o’clock. Perhaps, if he gets out, Niccolò will feel like it’s safe to come back…

To Nico: Leaving for school, now. Hope I’ll get to see you, later.

It takes him the whole ride to school to decide that no surprise is worth having Ni thinking he doesn’t hold dear that 11th of October, that the day he felt an immediate and unprecedented connection to a nameless boy could ever be insignificant.

To Nico: Can’t wait for you to hear what I’ve got in store for tomorrow

As he expected, Nico doesn’t get back to him. It’s fine. He can wait.

*****************************

Alright: he might have overestimated his patience. He doesn’t know how much longer he can take, before he leaves no stone in Rome unturned while looking for Niccolò.

Thankfully, he’s got a plan to stick to. Sana’s. Who will most likely make him regret the day he was born, if he steps out of line. It’s not ideal, as it relies on too many factors – Nico having his phone on, reading his text messages, being in a place where he can listen to Radio Osvaldo – but it’s the best they’ve got.

“Well, thank you, Ivano… Sharing with us how it’s life with a bipolar disorder must have been hard, but I’m sure that many of our listeners found comfort listening to how you got your happy ending with Sax… To some of us things look so bleak we don’t even see the point of anything, but your story goes to show that it does get better, when you start building bridges instead of burning them. And Martino, you must be so proud of our special guest today. A woman who was brave enough to come and talk to all of us about she is dealing with her depression. Unfortunately she had to leave early, but thank Teresa on our behalf. We hoped to have a former student of this school to conclude this special feature on Mental Health Day, as they are dealing with one of the most stigmatized illnesses… Unfortunately they couldn’t join us. If you are listening, however, remember that we’re here for you. All of us.”

“I am. My mom truly is the best. Yeah, I can hear you all groan, but that’s a fact. It took me ages to see it, so maybe you should cut your parents some slack as well. Unless they’re abusive jerks, of course. And I couldn’t be prouder of that person you just mentioned as well. They keep on being strong, kind, and compassionate in a world that constantly tries to tear them down… They- ”

“Martino, if you keep on going like that you might just as well say their name.” Sana warns him, shooting him a reproachful glare. Too bad she can’t stop him. He just realized how he can make Nico understand he treasures every second they spend together. The best and the worst.

“They are who I want to spend my life with: Niccolò Fares, will you marry me?”

“YES!!” The door barges open, he’s swept off the seat and carried to the nearest secluded corner. What the fuck? He’s not complaining, but really: what the fuck has just happened?

*****************

They would later agree that the marriage is not going to happen for another couple of years, that a proper and more romantic proposal is order from them both… and Martino finds out that while he was busy with Sana, ‘contrabbandieri’ and ‘matte’ joined forces to delve into Nico’s past. So that they could call Niccolò’s old friends to the rescue. Together they managed to locate Nico and then Gio – of course it was him: the love wizard - and Michi talked some sense into him.

“So, tell me… What exactly have you got planned?” He sounds a bit hesitant, now that the euphoria of the impromptu proposal has worn off.

“I was thinking about a tutorial on how to grow weed in your closet. Followed by a cooking show hosted by the famous chef Niccolò Fares, a ten step guide to on how to break in a deserted pool, a top five on the most romantic spots in Rome… Can’t quite decide who’s gonna get the first place, the bins had their charm but so did the toilets…”

“… well, it can’t be a fair ranking until you’ve seen my favorite spot. Come on, Marti. Keats and Shelley are waiting for us!”

“Lead the way.”

[rwbyconversations]

Dante, and Vergil’s Impact on His Character Arc

I’ve been a long-time casual fan of the Devil May Cry games, though my skills at them are woefully inadequate. I’m more a fan of the crazy action that the series strives to provide in each of its entries and the wonderful misadventures Dante keeps getting dragged into, to say nothing of watching in awe high-level players pulling off combos so wild and energetic that they add years to my life expectancy. 

But while it’s never been a main draw to the series, I feel like Devil May Cry is, at its best, a series that does manage to generate enrapturing characters and create fluid arcs across its games, and I feel that this comes across in what might go down as the greatest unintentional character arc in gaming, that of Dante.

While Dante in the first two games didn’t have much character, especially in DMC2, Devil May Cry 3 is when Dante’s characterization was finally solidified, not least of which because of the vocal talents of Reuben Langdon being added to Dante that gave him so much character across his future appearances. It’s not an exaggeration to say Dante is one of the most well-received and iconic protagonists in modern gaming, and I think that was solidifed thanks to the work of Itsuno, the Capcom team and Langdon in DMC3. What also helped was the introduction and solidification of Dante’s relationship with his brother, Vergil. This relationship has gone on to have major impacts on Dante’s character not just across DMC 4 and 5, but also in retrospect allows for Dante to develop an arc through DMCs 1, 2 and even the Animated Series. 

As such, in this essay I’d like to look at Dante’s character across all five main Devil May Cry games, in particular focusing on his relationship with Vergil and how it impacted him across his life. Please note this essay will contain spoilers for Devil May Cry 5.

1) Pre-series and 3

Dante was born alongside his twin brother Vergil to Sparda and Eva, a demon who woke up to justice and sought to defend humanity from his demonic kin and a human woman who he fell in love with. The boys before they were eight were granted two halves of the Perfect Amulet, which when combined could open the path to the demon world. Sparda would die of unknown circumstances when the boys were young, and when Dante was 8, the family home was attacked by demons. Eva hid Dante away in a closet, telling him that if she died, he was to escape and assume a new identity. Eva went on to die trying to find Vergil (Dante assumes he is dead as well), with her death shaping Dante and Vergil into the men would become later in life- Dante would swear vengeance on all demons, while Vergil would develop the mindset that had he been more powerful, he could have prevented Eva’s death, which would cause him to seek out Sparda’s sword, Force Edge.

While growing up, Dante has become a freelance mercenary operating under the name of Tony Redgrave. Before the games, he spent time working with Enzo Ferino, who would pass along jobs to Dante, and Nell Goldstein, a gunsmith who made Dante’s signature pistols, Ebony and Ivory. Dante in a manga set right before 3 has learned that Vergil survived the attack on the Sparda Manor, and while he is initially ecstatic to learn of Vergil’s survival, the two quickly realize that they are both driven to accomplish goals that the other would get in the way of. Vergil defeats Dante in a duel, but lets him keep his half of the Perfect Amulet. 

When 3 starts, it’s been a year since their first meeting. Dante is 19 and has nearly finished work on his new office, determined to follow the phrase “If you’re good at something don’t do it for free” to the logical conclusion in making demon hunting his job. After a mysterious man named Arkham offers Dante a chance to see Vergil at the top of a tower that arises from the earth named Temen-ni-gru, Dante sets out to confront Vergil and have an “interesting time” fighting the demons along the way. Vergil meanwhile, is drawing Dante to Temen-ni-gru to acquire Dante’s half of the Amulet and acquire the powers of Sparda hidden within, along with Sparda’s blade Force Edge. 

Dante doesn’t take the whole affair seriously at all at first, joking all the way up to his first meeting with Vergil that this will all be a large party- and that the lack of food, drinks and women shows that Vergil knows how to throw a stinker of a party. Vergil takes the jokes in stride and even makes one in return, apologizing to Dante since he was so eager to see Dante, he “couldn’t concentrate on preparations for the bash.” Dante is quick to make a fight out of the conflict, drawing a gun on Vergil which... goes well for Dante.

It probably shows how bad Dante’s day is going when this isn’t even the first time today he’s been run through the chest.

Vergil slaughters Dante in their first fight, showing a complete lack of regard for any of Dante’s attacks. This attitude reflects into gameplay as well- Vergil is a challenging boss fight this early in the game and will defeat you if you drop your guard for even a second, forcing you to adapt to his fighting style and making it so you can’t just spam the same tricks over and over. There is a deliberate power imbalance between Dante and Vergil in their first fight, and Vergil even angrily calls Dante on refusing to tap into his demonic power. Dante’s blithe response that “I have no father,” and that he’s not tapping into his power just to spite Vergil only further enrages Vergil, and he wastes not time winning the battle by running Dante through- first with Yamato, then with Dante’s own sword Rebellion. 

Vergil gives a look into his mindset here as he talks down to Dante.  "Might controls everything. Without strength, you can't protect anything... Let alone yourself." It’s a look into Vergil’s psyche that shows that just like Dante, he never got over Eva’s death and likely why he’s never formed a serious relationship beyond a one-night-stand in Fortuna. It’s almost like Vergil’s afraid of opening up his heart in case it gets broken again. But yet it’s in him running Dante through that he forces the lesson onto Dante- that Dante will not be able to overcome the remaining trials in his way without tapping into the power granted through Sparda’s blood in his veins. And as such after reclaiming Rebellion, Dante forcibly triggers his Devil Trigger for the first time, embracing the demonic monster he had spent years rejecting. 

This is Dante’s lowest point in the game- ironic given how this happens at the top of the tower. He has no allies, he’s lost his amulet and Vergil has made a mockery of him in their first duel. But slowly, Dante gets back up and steels himself for round 2, punching a pillar in frustration only to watch as his energy causes it to explode from the force. And upon realizing the power he now wields, Dante cuts loose in a glorious cutscene showing his drive and refusal to give in as he freefalls down the side of the tower and defeats a swarm of enemies, all while Devils Never Cry kicks into high gear. 

Bless me with your gift of light Righteous cause on judgment night Feel the sorrow the light has swallowed Feel the freedom like no tomorrow

From this point on, DMC3 shifts focus and becomes a race between Dante and Vergil to see who can uncover the secrets of the tower and unlock Sparda’s power first, both unaware that they and Lady, a human woman trying to hunt down her father, that Arkham is playing everyone so that he can swoop in and steal Sparda’s power at the last second. 

Dante and Vergil fight again fight after Vergil has unlocked the last barrier holding back Sparda’s power. Along the way Dante slowly comes to terms with his demonic heritage and learns to embrace its power more, all while Vergil rejects his humanity, believing that true strength will come from the power of a demon. What Vergil doesn’t know however is that Devil May Cry’s humanity possess a power that no demon could ever dream of possessing- something Vergil learns the hard way in 3 and 5, while Dante rubs it in Agnus’s face in 4. Devil May Cry 1 director Hideki Kamiya would eventually confirm on Twitter that what humans possess is simple- heart. The heart to get back up after a crippling defeat and prepare for round 2, or to simply never accept defeat, is in fact one of Dante’s greatest weapons, greater even than his sword, guns or electric bat guitar.

... Man Devil May Cry 3 gets weird and I love it. 

It’s through using his heart along with his demonic powers that Dante is able to grow as a fighter, represented in-game as the player not just upgrading Dante’s styles and weapons, but becoming better with the tools provided and taking the time to become more stylish and visually exciting with each new fight being an opportunity to pull of a new stylish combo. 

Dante’s second battle with Vergil occurs in the basement of the tower, with the fight ending in a draw as before either can strike a finishing blow, Lady and subsequently Arkham intervene in the fight, Arkham having planned for Dante and Vergil to wear themselves out fighting each other so that neither of them had the power to stop him from stealing Sparda’s power for himself. And despite being a lowly human, Arkham is able to play Dante, Lady and Vergil like chess pieces and take the power of Sparda for himself, before the power mutates him into a giant blob monster that threatens the world. 

Vergil disappears for much of the rest of the game as Dante races after Arkham to stop him, defeating several more demons within and absorbing their energy to create more Devil Arms (alongside taking Beowulf off Vergil after he dropped it). Dante initially fights Arkham alone, but even as a giant blob Arkham proves a significant threat to Dante until Vergil offers some backup. Putting aside their mutual differences, the two brothers decide to honor their father by beating the ever-living crap out of the man who stole his power, delivering the finishing blow through a combined Ebony and Ivory shot while saying Dante’s signature line.

A moment so good I had to include it twice

It’s also notable that this is the one time Vergil gets over his aversion to firearms-

I’m sorry DID I STUTTER

After Arkham is defeated and sent away for Lady to deliver the killing blow on, there’s a moment of silence between Dante and Vergil. The Jackpot scene and its immediate aftermath really does sum up a lot of their relationship- they may have been fighting almost every time we’ve seen them thus fat, and there is genuine aminosity between the two, but Dante and Vergil are ultimately just brothers who ultimately respect each other and might have even been more permanent allies were it not for their ideological differences... differences which directly cause the game’s final boss.

Vergil dives in after the Perfect Amulet, landing on the edge of the Demon World itself with Dante in hot pursuit. Vergil bluntly orders Dante to give him his half of the amulet, and when Dante refuses to and challenges Vergil on what he’ll do with the power, Vergil snaps at him, charging with his newly acquired Force Edge. Dante has none of it, catching the sword and insisting that his soul is saying it wants to stop Vergil. It’s disheartening that both brothers come to blows so soon after their effective teamup, but neither of them will compromise on their goals. 

Vergil’s final fight is a perfect climax of the game, both emotionally and mechanically. As Dante and Vergil keep fighting, two facts remain the same- the location of the fight is geographically lower and lower each time, and Dante gets better with each bout, losing in the first round, drawing with Vergil in the second and in the third, after having embraced Sparda’s heritage, coming ahead of Vergil and winning conclusively. It’s still a difficult bout for the player but after all their time in this hellish night with Dante, you’ve mastered the game and are able to meet Vergil beat for beat. 

Dante wins the final clash of swords, with Vergil stubbornly refusing to accept defeat and hand over his half of the amulet. He encourages Dante to leave him in the Demon World, before letting himself fall of the side in an effective suicide. Dante tries to reach out to him, but Vergil slashes open his hand as he falls, bringing his half of the amulet with him. Dante doesn’t say a word for the rest of the scene, but his face and body language betray how emotionally compromised he’s become by Vergil’s loss. He glumly brings Force Edge with him to the surface and meets up with Lady, whose attempts to lift Dante’s spirits coin the name of the series- “Maybe somewhere out there, even a devil may cry when he loses a love one.” Even though it does lift Dante’s spirits and gives him a name for his shop, Vergil’s suicide haunts Dante for years, and the first signs of it are present even in the ending of DMC3, where his final taunt before the credtis fight scene sounds like he’s trying to convince himself that he’s ready to take everything the world can throw at him. 

In a post-credits scene, Vergil squares off against DMC1′s main villain Mundus. Vergil cockily decides to take him on, but the results of the battle were already known in DMC1, where Dante fights Vergil as Nelo Angelo. 

2) DMC 1, 2 and Animated Series- Depressed Dante

In advance, I am going to say this: obviously enough, DMC 1 and 2 were written before DMC 3 and any attempts I make at retroactively making 3′s narrative tie into both of them is weakened as a consequence as it falls into headcanons more often then not. Being blunt, DMC 1 and 2 didn’t have as much focus on story as 3 so any attempts I make to connect their stories might come off as trying to connect threads while wearing cooking gloves. Just keep that in mind for this part barring anything I say on the anime. 

Nine years after the Temen-Ni-Gru incident, Dante has set up Devil May Cry and takes extermination jobs for anyone who calls his shop with the elusive password. While he’s making dry quips and nonchalantly dealing with the threats he faces while fighting Mundus, he’s notably less energetic compared to his younger self. Dante is more somber and reflective almost as a direct consequence of his dealings with Vergil, and while he’s still cracking wise when he confronts the demons Mundus has scattered around the island, he’s far less talkative than he was. One of his more talkative moments comes after Mundus kills Griffon, who had genuinely earned Dante’s respect through their repeated encounters across the game. Dante is quite livid at Mundus killing one of his own soldiers in such a callous way, as he tells Trish:

“Mundus... His heinous ways make me sick; killing his own like they were nothing. He's the one that took the life of my mother for sure. My mother always used to tell me that my father was a man who fought for the weak. He had courage and a righteous heart. In the name of my father I will kill Mundus!"

Dante has an unexpected family reunion when he fights Vergil, covered in armor, as Nelo Angelo several times over the story. Nelo Angelo provides some of the tougher fights in DMC1, managing to disarm Dante during their first bout and neatly delivering a killing blow before Nelo spots Dante’s amulet and retreats, as if Vergil refuses to give Mundus the satisfaction of having Vergil kill Dante for him. Dante admits grudging respect for Nelo Angelo, saying he didn’t expect to find anyone with “guts and honor” in the castle. 

Their second battle sees Nelo removing his helmet, revealing Vergil’s corrupted visage underneath. Despite the enhancement of the armor, Vergil loses again to Dante, this time seemingly dying as he explodes in a flash of lightning, leaving nothing but Vergil’s half of the Perfect Amulet. Dante stops to recollect a childhood memory of himself and Vergil wanting cake for their birthday, before combining the amulets and using it to reawaken Sparda and have it resume its true power. 

The rest of DMC 1 has Dante suffer from Trish’s betrayal and subsequent redemption, but while he ends the game on a victorious note after having beaten Mundus and saved Trish with a variation of Lady’s line to him, he’s also despondent at the loss of Vergil yet again, which leads to Dante being more sullen in the animated series and DMC2, which both take place five years later when Dante is 33. 

Dante’s characterization in the DMC Animated Series is often considered divisive due to him being rather mellow and sullen compared to his more distinctive appearances, especially since Reuben actually provided Dante’s voice under a false name. However, intentionally or not, Dante’s characterization in the anime bears a lot of symptoms consistent with depression: Dante is even more of a slob than normal, frequently is tired and sleeps all day, eats only comfort food (strawberry sundaes in the show) and only ever comes alive while working. But since Dante is so powerful in the anime, he’s lucky if a fight lasts more than a few seconds. When looking at the anime in the context of DMCs 1 and 3, it gives the impression that Dante is just worn down after losing Vergil in 3, only to then kill him in 1. This leaves Dante as the last member of his bloodline, which drags him down. Fortunately, Dante has Lady and Trish to keep dragging him out of bed and getting him to care, and he seems to slowly be recovering from his depression by the time of DMC2. 

Devil May Cry 2 has no real plot and Dante has been stripped of almost all the characterization in 1 and 3 which made him such an iconic character. Like nearly everything else wrong with DMC 2, this largely comes down to the disaster of a development cycle that the game had- director Hideaki Itsuno admitted in an art book that when he was brought on to direct DMC 2, he was replacing a director who had botched the project so hard that Itsuno only had four months to essentially develop the entire game, including the script. As such, Dante’s character is very flat. Barring one line (“King? Here’s your crown.”), Dante has no memorable quips or dialogue, with most of the development being handed off to Lucia instead. Dante’s one significant character trait is his habit of flipping a coin to choose events for him, a trait that has rarely been acknowledged since. While this Dante does fall into the line of thinking we’ve used so far, that Dante is suffering from depression for much of his late 20s and early 30s, it’s hard to even consider this as a possibility when Dante’s stoic nature is just because of a rushed script and weak writing, and it feels almost dirty to try and tie in the depression theory to this. 

Thankfully, Dante’s character would like much of the series get an extended redemption thanks to DMC3, but the next entry in the timeline put him back on track.. 

3) DMC 4 and the reclamation of hope

For a long time, DMC 2 was the final point in the timeline, in part because of Capcom’s shame for the game being so great that they are actively reluctant to acknowledge the existence of DMC2. Before DMC 5 released, Executive Producer Matt Walker confirmed that the timeline had been changed from 3-1-4-2 to 3-1-2-4, and one of the consequences of this was that Dante’s character arc began to flow naturally.

While there are several scenes in DMC4 set before the game begins, most notably the explanation of why Trish gave the Order Sparda’s sword which also leads into the intro cutscene for Trish and Lady’s route in Special Edition, a long-standing fan theory is that Dante begins DMC4 with some vestiges of his Anime/2 depression remaining, hence why he fails to exhibit any of his typical stylish moves during his assassination attempt on Sanctus- he just jumps down the window and shoots him point-blank in the head. It’s only when Nero attacks him and subsequently lasts longer than most of the Order guards that Dante begins to treat the fight with his usual charm. It’s made clear that he’s not taking the battle against Nero too seriously, and it’s evident that if Dante wanted he could turn Nero into a smear on the pavement in a heartbeat. But the Devil Bringer, along with Nero’s refusal to let Dante get away, impress Dante enough to let Nero go, which leads to Nero spending much of his route hunting Dante down until the two finally meet again and have a rematch at Fortuna Castle. 

Even with his new upgrades, including Vergil’s sword Yamato and his new Devil Trigger, Nero is barely able to keep up with Dante, who in gameplay is a nightmare to fight due to having access to all four of his DMC 3 styles at will and being played by an AI seemingly designed to wreck your day. To little surprise, Nero loses and is disarmed of Yamato. Dante is eager to reclaim Yamato, telling Nero “It belongs in the family,” but chooses to let Nero keep hold of Yamato for now due to having become less hot-headed and wanting to use the weapon to help save Kyrie. However, Sanctus is revealed to have been revived and traps Nero in the Savior (an artificial demon the Order created that requires Sparda’s blood and sword) before it marches on Fortuna City with Yamato. Dante races back through the route Nero took, determined to reclaim Yamato and destroy the Savior.  

Dante doesn’t develop much during his playable segment of the game, barring the new Devil Arm cutscenes confirming that he is back to his usual jovial and eccentric self. Much like with Nero, Dante’s power means that the threat of the Savior is quite small in the grand scheme- Dante can defeat it in a head to head fight and the story doesn’t try to convince you that this threat can top the one presented by Mundus. Dante eventually returns to Fortuna and after confronting Agnus in one of the greatest cutscenes in human history, reclaims his brother’s sword and then frees Nero. Between the two of them tag-teaming the Savior and Sanctus from the inside and out, Dante and Nero bring a stop to the Order’s plans and destroy the Savior, Dante reclaiming his father’s sword. 

With that, Dante leaves, job complete. Nero confusedly asks if Dante wants Yamato back, but Dante blithely tells him to keep it, confident in Nero’s abilities now as a Devil Hunter. 

Nero: "What...? I thought this meant a lot to you...?" Dante: "That's the only kind of gift worth giving. I want to entrust it to you, and so I am. What you do from here is your call."

Deadly Fortune (the Japanese only DMC 4 novelization) and DMC 5 would go on to confirm that Dante allowed Nero to set up a new branch of Devil May Cry in Fortuna. Nero asks Dante if they’ll meet again, but Dante only shoots a wave over his shoulder. Little did they know that meeting again would take eleven long years, before they got to join up back together for more hijinks.

By the end of DMC4, Dante has finally gotten over the trauma and baggage he’s been carrying since Vergil’s death. Seeing the new generation of demon hunters in Nero has reignited the spark that laid dormant inside of him for so long. Dante’s 38 by the time of DMC4, meaning he carried those dark emotions inside him for over half his life, but with Nero wielding Yamato, Dante has finally become able to let go and become the cool uncle/mentor figure Nero needs.

4) DMC 5- Acceptance and peace

... so of course just five short years later, everything goes right back to hell for Dante. He’s still not great at managing the financial side of his business, but the arrival of a mysterious young man named V with a promised contract that will provide cash up front gives Dante all the drive he needs to get into gear to confront Urizen. But unfortunately, Urizen proves far stronger than anyone feared, and he effortlessly defeats Dante, Trish, Lady and a late to the party Nero who lost his Devil Bringer two weeks prior. Dante, desperate, breaks out his Devil Trigger and orders V to get Nero out of there, deriding Nero as “dead weight.” Soon after, Urizen beats Dante out of Devil Trigger and shatters Rebellion, sending him flying out of the Qliphoth and into a coma for a month.

V eventually finds Dante by the ruins of an old manor, the demons having not found him because of the Devil Arm Sparda having hidden Dante’s presence. After a little fakeout stab, Dante is restored to fighting form and immediately goes to get ready for Round 2 with Urizen, all while Nero, now armed with the Devil Breakers, desperately tries to kill Urizen himself. Dante first gets himself some sick wheels and makes for the ruins of the Sparda Manor where his life got flipped on its head over thirty years prior.

Somehow, this isn’t the craziest weapon in the game. 

After lamenting on how he always seems to get a sword through the gut, Dante impales himself on the Rebellion like Virgil did back on the top of Temen-Ni-Gru. And just like then, Dante unlocks a new level to his demonic abilities, gaining the Sin Devil Trigger and a new Devil Arm, the Dante. Armed and ready, Dante makes for Urizen to show him whats what. While Urizen makes a hasty retreat, he is able to supercharge himself with the Qliphoth fruit before Dante arrives, but even this increase in power isn’t enough to stop Dante, because not only has he gained more power through Sin Devil Trigger, but Urizen, just like Vergil, has failed to learn the important lesson of humanity in Devil May Cry.

Side-note, this is the greatest cutscene in the history of video games. I don’t really have any way to tie the Faust Hat to this analysis but I thought we all needed a reminder that this was a glorious thing.

Dante, unlike the audience, has always been aware that Urizen was Vergil or at least his demonic half. Urizen is literally Vergil's ambition and greed manifested into a malevolent, power-hungry demon, and much like Vergil himself, Urizen fails to realize that through sacrificing his human half, he’s lost the true power within himself. It takes until Dante lays the smackdown on Urizen even after being supercharged with the Qliphoth root. In Urizen’s eyes, Dante hasn’t sacrificed anything to achieve this power and fights Urizen simply because it’s the right thing to do, and that desire to protect others

Urizen: How... How are you so powerful?! You never lost anything! Dante: It's not about loss... Strength is a choice! Fighting like hell to protect what matters! You threw away everything you ever had! No wonder you have no true power! Urizen: Danteeeeee!

Ultimately, Dante defeats Urizen and leaves him a dying husk on the ground. But before he can deliver the killing blow, V tricks Dante into letting him finish the job, allowing him to merge with Urizen and become Vergil, brought back from the dead. 

All of the main characters in DMC5 have their own subtitles along with their name when introduced, and Vergil’s is perfectly fitting from a meta angle- he was Dante’s first major opponent in DMC3, and now here he is at the end of the Sons of Sparda saga, the final boss for the last hours of the game. 

Dante immediately freaks out at Vergil’s return and goes to kill him, but due to expending so much energy on Urizen, Vergil is able to push him back with ease, telling him to heal his wounds before trying to face him. Dante stubbornly begins climbing back up the Qliphoth, even as Nero tries to dissuade him until Dante tells Nero the truth that Vergil is his father, before pressing on alone and leaving Nero to escape the tree. Dante and Vergil both never even consider the possibility of not fighting to the death. The last time they tried to talk things out at the edge of the Demon world, both Dante and Vergil proved their ideologies were just too different for them to peacefully co-exist. The tragedy of DMC 3′s climax stretches on more than twenty years later for these two, and neither are of the mindset that this can end in any way that’s not one of the twins standing over the other’s body. . 

On the way, Dante finds V’s three Summons- Griffon, Shadow and Nightmare- who reveal themselves to be the manifestations of Vergil’s traumatic memories from his time as Nelo Angelo. The familiars force a fight against Dante, warning him that if he can’t beat them he doesn’t stand a chance against Vergil. Though Dante makes no note of it, eliminating the familiars has likely ensured Vergil will be able to live without the trauma from his time under Mundus. Dante is particularly respectful to Griffon, the servant of Mundus who he never got to properly defeat in battle and the one he almost respected. It feels like Dante finally being allowed to have the fair fight with Griffon that the demon deserved more than a decade prior. 

Ultimately, Dante makes his way to the top, with both the brothers pausing for a moment to ponder how many times they’ve exchanged blows. Dante even admits that them fighting is the only memories of the two that he can remember since they were children. Ultimately they draw their weapons, and begin their final clash. 

It’s ultimately a desperate knockout brawl, with both fighters giving it their all and using everything and anything they’ve learned over the years to gain an edge in the fight, but it ends on a draw with both stopping to catch their breath after a fight that canonically goes on for more than twenty minutes. Vergil finally realizes that Nero is his son. The two stop for a second, Dante gently ribbing Vergil for being young once as well, but even then it loops back around to their deathmatch. Despite both being clearly exhausted, they fire up their Devil Triggers and prepare for another charge, only to be interrupted by a new demon- Nero, having gained the strength to activate his own Devil Trigger and regrow his lost arm, now determined to stop the two twins from killing each other once and for all. 

Throughout DMC5, starting with the “Dead Weight” line, Dante has had a habit of disrespecting Nero. Granted, Dante is canonically stronger, but he bluntly tells Nero multiple times that he effectively doesn’t care what Nero thinks of a situation, Dante will do it his way. Yet again he tries to assert dominance over Nero, but this time Nero, now armed with a new Devil Trigger and at the peak of his strength while Dante and Vergil are both exhausted, bitch slaps Dante out of the fight and promises to make Vergil submit to him. Vergil in turn doesn’t take Nero seriously, but promises him a fight when Nero bluntly repeats that neither of the brothers are dying today. What follows is an extended curb stomp as Nero pays Vergil back dividends for ripping off his arm at the start of the game. While Vergil normally wouldn’t be so easily defeated by Nero, his exhaustion from fighting Dante and expending so much energy on maintaining his Devil Trigger have drained him of the stamina he needs and as such, Nero canonically dominates the fight. 

This, Ninja Theory, is how you make your protagonist screaming “Fuck you!” look insanely cool and not pathetic

Nero makes Vergil take a knee, but the situation changes from the immediate battle. Dante and Vergil resolve to descend into the Underworld to cut the Qliphoth's roots. When Nero counters that this potentially leaves the two stranded, Dante quietly tells Nero that it’s because of him that they can make this risk. With Nero on this side of the barrier ready to protect humanity, Dante is comfortable potentially trapping himself on the other side of the dimensional border with Vergil. And as such, the two brothers fly into the Underworld and destroy the Qliphoth once and for all, leaving Nero, Lady and Trish to safeguard the human world. 

When we next see Dante and Vergil, they’re in the depths of the Underworld. Just like when Vergil lost to Dante in DMC3, he asks Dante to go back to the human world- Vergil wants to atone for Urizen’s sins and that involves ensuring the destruction of the tree. But Dante doesn’t want to leave his brother alone this time, noting that someone needs to keep an eye on Vergil- if only to ensure a repeat of the Nelo Angelo incident doesn’t happen. As Qliphoth tree roots begin to form around Dante and Vergil, we play as Dante one final time in a playable credits sequence. 

When we cut back to Dante and Vergil for the final scene, they’re locked in yet another battle. But this time, it’s a friendly spar with no malice or aminosity between them barring normal brotherly bickering. Dante even quips that he’s one up after winning while Vergil counters that Dante miscounted and that they’re even. As they ready for another round, a new wave of demons emerge and without breaking stride, the two begin clearing house. As Vergil snarls at him not to say it, Dante shoots the camera a triumphant grin before uttering his catchphrase one last time as the game concludes.

“Jackpot!” 

5) Conclusion- Devils Never Cry

While it likely will never be listed as a primary reason for the character’s critical acclaim in favor of his charm or bombastic personality, Dante’s character arc across the Devil May Cry series is an overall well-written arc of a character, and this is complemented extraordinarily well by Vergil serving as his rival in two of the games. Despite only physically appearing in 60% of the numbered games canonically, Vergil has a huge role on Dante’s life, starting when they were barely children before traumatic circumstances separated them. Then when they met on the tower when they were just 19, Vergil humiliated Dante and forced him to embrace his demonic heritage so he could keep up with Vergil in a straight fight. Ultimately though, while also maturing as a person, Dante not only fought Vergil to a standstill but went on to defeat him in a straight fight. But Vergil’s deaht would haunt Dante for years to come, and that misery would intensify upon fighting and killing Nelo Angelo, driving Dante into a deep depression that lasted years until Nero reignited the spark in Dante and brought him back from the brink. Through Nero, Dante regained his purpose and drive, and when Vergil threatened to come back as Urizen and then as himself, Dante was swift to try and destroy this at the root- Vergil had upended his life and mental state twice already and he refused to let it happen a third time. It took Nero moving past his own trauma and literally bitch-slapping sense into him for Dante and Vergil to begin to reconcile, and by the time of their final scene, the two brothers are now finally united as a demon-slaying team that will last the ages. Itsuno not only saved Devil May Cry (from himself, but again, four months) after DMC 2, but retroactively tied the first two games together with the third and subsequent games to give Dante a (largely) coherent character arc across the series. For that, Itsuno and writing team, along with Reuben Langdom, deserve massive respect for accomplishing what many wouldn’t consider doing for a “dumb Japanese action game.” To say nothing of the work done to turn Vergil from a one-note villain in DMC 1 to one of the greatest rival characters in gaming, and particular praise must be given to Dan Southworth for his work as the character over the last decade. Character content like this is what will ensure that Devil May Cry as a series stays relevant not just because of its near-perfect gameplay, but its surprisingly touching character moments between these goofballs that makes me always eager for more adventures in this universe. 

Thank you for reading. 

(also who expected the Subhuman redux to be so good? All it took was getting rid of the kid-touching creep and getting an actual musician in the book, who’d have thunk it)

[nancydrew65]

SKAM Austin Season 2 Episode 9 Thoughts

So, I thought this was the last episode, but then a clip was released today. I’m guessing there will be ten total episodes in this season. Like I said before, Daniel is officially canceled in my book, so if you don’t want to hear me ranting about what an asshole he is... maybe don’t read this.

Home

Grace had to drive out to Clay’s school just to talk to him. God, can she get a break?

Clay is trying to laugh things off, but Grace is serious AF.

And then that asshole calls Grace a slut. He is such a horrible human being. Why does Daniel believe him over Grace? I will never understand this storyline. He knows his brother is psycho, why would he believe anything he says?

Grace “apologizes” to Clay and he says: “It is a scary time to be a guy, you know?” I thought that was an especially good line to put in to SKAM Austin. Men in the United States say that all the time now that #MeToo is a thing. Heck, even our president says it. It is disgusting. I mean, you think it is scary to be a guy and be accused of sexual harassment? How about being a woman and experiencing sexual harassment. That is a hell of a lot scarier.

Then Grace goes off on him, exposing him for the terrible person he is. She is such a badass in this scene. I missed this beautiful, strong woman.

Clay rushes to assure Grace that he didn’t do anything to her, but it is hard to believe him. Grace just threatened to report him to the police. I am willing to bet he would lie to her, just to get her off his case.

But I have to say, my favorite part of the clip is when Grace walked away and Megan was waiting for her on the curb to drive her home. This brings up a small issue I have with Austin. It is not even really an issue, but something I would have liked to see. I wish we could have seen Megan and Grace’s relationship more this season. Last season, we didn’t really get much and we didn’t this season either. I think it is a problem with the remakes in general. The Eva character kind of gets sidelined in Noora’s season. The remake that portrays these girls’ friendship the best is SKAM NL in my opinion. I love seeing scenes of Isa and Liv together because they are just so close.

That being said, I adored this scene. I think it may be my favorite iteration of the confrontation scene yet.

Ready to Talk

Grace texts Daniel about everything, explaining that she might never know what happened, how terrifying the whole ordeal was, that she might have been drugged. Daniel starts texting back, but never sends anything.

This is the point of no return for me. Let me tell you a story. When I first watched SKAM Season 2, I didn’t find anything too inherently wrong with it. At this point in time, I wasn’t aware of the whole social media and text aspect of the series, so I was just watching the full episodes without any of the context of the instagram posts or text messages posted. Sure, I definitely felt uncomfortable about some parts of the storyline, like William constantly pressuring Noora to go out with him or come to his parties. Even when the scene came out where William confronted Noora about the Niko situation, despite how awfully he treated her, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I thought, “Well, he doesn’t know the whole story. Who knows what Niko told him and Noora really didn’t get a chance to explain herself.” I finished off the season with this mindset. It was only later that I learned about the text messages posted online. I learned that Noora had explained what happened to William, telling him that she had most probably been sexually assaulted. This is where the character of William lost any sympathy I might have had for him. Going back to SKAM Austin, Daniel disregards his girlfriend’s feelings when he has full knowledge that she might have been drugged and sexually assaulted. He treats her like shit after this, not texting her or talking to her. Nothing he does can ever redeem him in my eyes. Grace deserves better.

God is a Woman

The girls are all chilling, getting ready to go to Prom later. Kelsey waltzes in, looking gorgeous in her pale blue prom dress. She talks about she used to feel that she had to be skinny to be successful, but now she realizes otherwise. She pulls out a water bottle that is filled with alcohol.

Megan refuses a drink when Kelsey offers, saying she wants to take a break from drinking - and from Marlon.

Kelsey whole heartedly agrees, stating that they don’t need boys to validate them. This is one of the most flawed parts of Season 2 for me. Kelsey and Megan realize that they don’t need boys to have self-worth (which is such a great message for teenage girls), but Grace (the lead of this season) experiences the opposite of that. She is strong and confident without a man in the first season and the beginning of this season, but by the end she needs Daniel to be happy. There is so much disconnect between the two messages this season is trying to put forward.

Jo complains about her boy trouble with the guy she’s been talking to online and the girls assure her she doesn’t need him.

#Prom

OK, well this Prom is a hell of a lot nicer than the one my school offered. We actually had Prom on the exact same night, so…

Pen-Joe comes up to Jo and Grace, asking Jo for a dance. Like the boss lady that she is, Jo replies “I already have a boyfriend” in Spanish. That is right, Pen-Joe. You lost your chance with the beautiful woman that is Josefina Valencia.

Back inside the dance, Abby announces Daniel as Prom King, but apparently he didn’t show up. This reminds me of yet another awful thing Daniel did to Grace. He said they were going to Prom together, but then he never shows up. Dude.

Zoya wins Prom Queen!!!!! I wasn’t sure if we were going to get this scene, but we did and I am so damn happy for her. She deserves it.

Grace asks Pen-Joe where Daniel is, but he just says that “family stuff”. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Out on the dance floor, Kelsey is dancing with a nice-looking dude, Zoya and Megan are dancing together, and Jo accepts Pen-Joe’s offer for a dance. You better make him apologize for the rude way he treated you, girl.

Aw, Grace posts a selfie of herself looking happy, but you can tell it is all a facade. She goes to join Megan and Zoya.

Welcome to My Life

It is the middle of the night and Grace gets a message on instagram from xxtrinity2121 about Clay.

A conversation ensues between the two girls. Apparently this mystery instagram girl is their version of Mari, telling Grace nothing happened between her and Clay. Obviously, this news is a great relief to Grace.

They also talk about how stressed they both are, with xxtrinity2121 confessing that she is very depressed and sometimes thinks about killing herself. Since this clip was posted, a chat was posted on SKAM Austin’s website between Grace and this girl which leads me to believe she has a more important role than just being the Mari stand-in. I have heard a lot of theories of who she is. A lot of people think she is Tyler, who is either trying to fool Grace or he was actually the person in bed with her and Clay. I don’t think the latter option is true because it looked like a girl in the bed to me when I re-watched that clip. Another interesting idea is that she is the Austin version of Even. I mean her username xxtrinity2121 has the number 21:21 in it. I really like this theory and hope it is true. That would be so interesting.

Usually Never Wrong

Zoya and Grace are walking down the hall, when Zoya pulls Abby over. She apologizes for not believing Abby about what a bad guy Hunter is. Abby tells her no problem and says she is really happy how everyone came together to support Zoya as Prom Queen, how it would have been racist if Zoya hadn’t won. Now, I don’t think Abby was trying to be mean. I genuinely think she was trying to be nice, but obviously it really hurt Zoya. She walks away. God, I feel so bad for Zoya. She deserved to win Prom Queen on her own merit, not because people think it would be racist for her not to. I think this is really gearing up to her season and I really hope she gets to have one.

Grace spots Daniel in the quad and rushes up to him, asking where he’s been. He says he’s been to see Clay. No elaboration. Then he tells her he’s going to New York for the summer. Well, I guess it’s not as bad as moving to London permanently like William was planning on doing.

Grace says she wants to talk and Daniel says “I’m done talking. It’s too much.” Too much? For you? Grace could have been sexually assaulted and this asshole has the nerve to claim it’s too much for him?God, I hate Daniel.

Grace runs after him, yelling her most iconic line yet. “Daniel, stop being a little bitch.” She tells him off. She says that a lot of stuff happened and it sucked. For her. I’m really glad they gave her that line. Because it is so damn true. Then she starts talking about how no one has loved her like Daniel has, blah, blah, blah. I wish we’d gotten more of Grace’s parents backstory because that would have given better context to this scene.

Daniel still gets in the car and drives away. As Grace is crying at the curb, we see him run back to her and they embrace.

She says she can explain everything, and he says she doesn’t need to. A lot of people were overjoyed at this line, but…. She already explained everything in the text she sent him and he ignored her and treated her like shit afterward when he finally saw her. This line makes no sense to me.

Whatever, I know a lot of people were happy they finally got together, but I can never fully forgive Daniel.

General Thoughts

This was a weird week because we got a bunch of clips on Saturday and then on one Monday and nothing else the entire week. I do think there were a lot of good parts of the clips, aside from Daniel drama. Also, the clip where Grace and Clay talk might be my favorite clip this season or for SKAM Austin in general. I think they executed it beautifully. See you next week for the last episode of this season!

[ghostflowerdreams]

What Is The Time Period In The Devil May Cry Series?

From what I’ve gathered the Devil May Cry series takes place in a Retro Universe -- basically where retro, vintage or antiquated technology, styles and aesthetics are still used, but which otherwise is or at least resembles The Present Day. Often cultural styles from different time periods are mixed and matched, usually with those that date no later than The '60s or so.

This makes sense as the technology in the series varies. For example, in Dante’s office he has a rotary phone, a boombox, a jukebox and a old color TV (in the anime). Later on in the series Nero shows up with some modernized-looking cordless headphones. This makes it hard to pin point the time period with just the few pieces of technology we’ve seen in the series. There’s also the possibility that Dante is just too poor to upgrade (or he doesn’t bother with it because his stuff keep getting broken every time). But that doesn’t explain why the rest of the DMC world isn’t up-to-date with modern inventions either. 

In Devil May Cry 5 each of the characters used telephone booths to make their calls. But when Nero was at the fancy-looking hotel, he made his call with a rotary phone. However, with Nico in order to receive those calls from him, she used what looked like one of those first ever mobile phone (which probably took hours to charge, lasted 35 minutes or so, and cost a lot too). Or it could have been a satellite phone? At that point, it was clear that the DMC world isn’t modeled after a particular time period and it’s not going for realism either. 

After all, modern cell phones would have been a thing for them by now and even computers. Instead, it borrow things from different time periods to create a retro and aesthetic pleasing game for us to enjoy. With a bit of digging around I also found out that Hiroyuki Kobayashi (the producer of DMC1, DMC4 and the DMC:TAS) once stated in an interview that the DMC world is very much like ours and it has phones -- just not cellphones. I can’t find the original article, but there was another old article that had a similar discussion with him about it...

Hiroyuki Kobayashi: In Devil May Cry [series character Dante's] office, they do have a phone, but it's a black analog kind of phone. That feeling of what the world is like is something that we really want to protect, so even though it does have phones, we don't want it to be a world where there is a cell phone and you can immediately talk to anyone in the world.

Having said that, it is a world where they do have motorbikes, so creating this mix between high-tech and analog technology -- a world where some things have advanced and some things haven't advanced -- is pretty difficult.

For example, there's a jukebox in Dante's office, but it plays old vinyl records. Some parts of technology have advanced, and some haven't advanced. Keeping that true throughout the series and the game is difficult, and we need to have all the core members on the same page. That is certainly one of the challenges in making the game. Having said that, it is a lot of fun to be able to create this kind of unique world of our own design.

After a little more digging I found more information on this subject and it’s actually a lot more recent too. On the Polygon website, Editor Matt Leone was at Capcom’s San Francisco office during this year’s Game Developers Conference. He met with Devil May Cry 5 director Hideaki Itsuno, senior producer Michiteru Okabe, and producer Matt Walker to discuss DMC5. Source: Devil May Cry 5: The post-mortem interview

Matt Leone [Interviewer]: To a certain degree, the game — and Devil May Cry in general — feels like a kitchen sink of different ideas; a lot of things could fit in the Devil May Cry world. Can you think of any things that have come up that felt too out of bounds for that universe?

Hideaki Itsuno: It’s interesting. I know this isn’t quite the direction you’re going for with that question, but there are things that technically don’t fit in a Devil May Cry, and it generally falls around the sense of style that we have. For instance, it’s not as cool for someone to take out a cell phone and say, “Devil May Cry” [with a normal voice]. But when you have a big landline phone on a desk, you can pick it up and say “Devil May Cry” [with a deep voice]. And that really comes down to the fact that we grew up in a certain era. We grew up in the ’70s and ’80s, before there was technology like this. That sense of style is something that’s been ingrained into us from having grown up in that period. There’s a lot of stuff in the game where they don’t use the latest technology, because from our point of view, this is what’s cool.

Eventually, if we ever have a director on a new Devil May Cry game who is in their 20s or something, they’ll have grown up with completely different stuff. So then the sense of style might change, and you might have stuff where in the game they’re watching YouTube or whatever.

But there’s also kind of that element of, what’s stylish? What we know to be cool is really based on our experiences in the ’70s and ’80s, but then also we have the cool dark hero element. Like with Dante, sure, he doesn’t really do terrible things — he doesn’t kill humans, that kind of thing — but there are dark aspects to him, or to the heroes in these games. Yet really, they’re pure, proper heroes that are very all about justice and protecting.

What got me thinking about all this was because when I was going over my old fanfiction I noticed something, well, more like the lack of something. I was wondering why I was making my original character go to the library to research books for information on the occult when she could’ve just google’d it (or use an equivalent of the search engine). 

But then I realized that it felt out of place if I did that because not once had I ever seen or heard any mention of computers in DMC series (especially in DMC3 as that was the game my fanfiction was focused on). Maybe they do exist, but it was still in the early stages of creation? Or that it wasn’t available for the public and only scientist, military, government or whatnot were the ones using it? I do not know, but books are a valuable source of information and will always be around. So I figured I couldn’t go wrong with having my character do some old-fashion research. 

It also makes sense that when Devil May Cry was first released it was in 2001, so of course that had some influence. At the time of writing this post it’s been 18 years since then and technology has made many advancements and will keep on advancing. But even before that in 1998, after the completion of Resident Evil 3, DMC originally started off as a part of the Resident Evil franchise, under the name "Team Little Devil". Early research and development work included a trip to Spain to examine various castles as a basis for the game's environments. So, of course, that also helped to shape DMC into what it is today. 

I get the feeling that DMC4 to DMC5 is kinda like when the 90s meet 2000s. In which those who live in the era know what it was like to see cassettes and VHS tapes turn into CD-ROMs. Floppy disk to USB flash drives, Walkman/Discman to mp3 or ipods and so on. 

Now, what about cameras? Hm, I do wonder which version of it is fitting for the DMC series. There’s a painted portrait of the whole family in Dante’s childhood home, but on his desk there is a photo of his mother. It might be one of those hand-coloring photograph? I figured because of the clothing they’re wearing looks old-fashion, it may suggest that photography might not have been that common during that time. Paintings were probably popular, but Eva’s photo on Dante’s desk is in color. Maybe it is an actual photo from a camera (the kind that’s not black & white -- film camera possibly)? Unless it’s a small hand-painted portrait of her? 

I’ll research this later. Anyway, these were just my musings that spawn from my old DMC fanfiction. Obviously, I don’t have to be canonically correct but I personally like to do my best in sticking with the source material. That usually means I have to do a bit of research to properly understand whatever peaks my interest and then figured how what I want to do with that information. Sometimes it helps me to better build up the DMC universe in my stories from. I also find that it even helps to make it feel very immersive for my readers.

[skam-stories]

Perfectly Wrong | Part Three

Annnd part three is here! Thank you for enduring the long wait, my laptop broke and my hard drive was wiped when it was sent away to get fixed. So I had to replan everything when I got my laptop back. When I was rewriting this chapter I decided to up the ante to make up for the long wait.

I hope you enjoy this, let me know what you think!

If you want to read my other words, or the earlier parts of this series, here’s my masterlist.

Eleonora hated that she was overthinking this party.

What to wear, when to get there, how to greet him. She was driving herself insane.

Was she meant to dress innocently, flirtatiously, what? If she got there on time would she look too eager, if she got there fashionably late would she seem like she was trying too hard to be cool? Was she meant to hug him, was she meant to pretend they weren’t kind of-almost-friends now? She’d kissed him on the cheek last time she saw him, for God’s sake.

The only thing she knew for sure was that she wasn’t meant to be letting herself feel this way.

They were meant to be friends. Nothing more. God, she wasn’t even sure that Silvia would be okay with friendship.

She needed to talk to Silvia.

Actually, she needed to talk to Eva.

It was a good thing she was already about to leave her place for Eva’s. All the girls were getting ready there before they headed to Edoardo and Fede’s party.

God, she was going to be in Edoardo’s house.

She was going to be in the general vicinity of his bed.

Was that where he and Silvia had sex?

That was a bit of a mood killer.

Good. She needed that.

She’d already been in his house before, too, when he and Silvia had kissed. 

Suddenly her mood killer was working a little too well. She wasn’t sad for Silvia anymore, she was sad for herself. Why hadn’t Edoardo set his sights on her then? He’d wanted Silvia first, even if it wasn’t for long.

Eleonora sighed, staring into the depths of her closet. She was still unsure about what the hell she was supposed to wear.

Screw it. She wasn’t dressing for him. She’d wear whatever she wanted.

She rifled through her drawers, tugging out a pair of black shorts and a sleeveless grey turtleneck. 

There. Done.

She threw on a pair of shoes, grabbing her bag and walking out of her room.

She paused at her kitchen counter to write her parents a note telling them where she was going. Did she really even need to do this? Would they even care? She sighed, writing a brief explanation anyway before leaving.

The route to Eva’s house was a familiar one. Eva’s house felt more like home than her house did. 

Eleonora realised as she stood outside Eva’s house that she was way earlier than she’d intended. She sighed, wondering if she should kill some time somehow. She had no idea how she’d do that, though. With a sigh, she knocked on the door.

Paola opened the door, greeting Eleonora with a hug. 

“Ele, darling! How are you? Have you eaten?”

God, Eleonora loved Paola. 

“I’m good, same as usual. Yes, I’ve eaten. How have you been? How’s work?”

In no rush to get to Eva’s room, she chatted with Paola for a few more minutes. She wished she could talk to her mother like this.

She eventually made her way through the house to Eva’s room. She knocked once, announcing herself, before opening the door.

Eva looked at her with eyes like saucers, clothes scattered on the floor around her. “Thank god you’re here, I have no idea what to wear.”

Eleonora grinned. At least she wasn’t the only one. “Give me some options.”

Once she’d helped Eva pick out an outfit, they both lay down on her bed.

“So why are you so worried about your outfit?”

Eva turned her head to look at Eleonora, her cheek resting against her bedspread. Eleonora watched it turn red. “You know why. Don’t make me say it.”

Eleonora chuckled. “I think you should say it.”

Eva was suddenly very interested in her fingernails. 

“It’s a really bad way to start something off, right? Cheating?”

Eleonora frowned. Eva had a point. The thought had crossed her mind before.

“And I broke up with Gio to be alone, not be with someone else.”

Eleonora nodded. “I agree.”

Eva sighed. “He’ll just go find someone else.”

Eleonora frowned again. “Let him. You deserve someone who wants you, not someone else.”

There was a silence for a long moment.

Eva raised an eyebrow at her. “Why were you so eager to go to this party anyway?”

It was Eleonora’s turn to have her cheeks heat up. She shrugged, looking up at the ceiling.

Eva laughed. “Hmm.”

They were both silent for a long moment before Eva spoke again. “You know, I really hated Edoardo. Then I spent a few minutes with him. And he’s...nice?”

Eleonora hummed a reply. Eva didn’t know the half of it. 

Eleonora could feel Eva’s eyes on her. She spoke up before Eva could.

“So what’s going to happen with you and Fede?”

Eva sighed. “I don’t know. What’s going to happen with you and Edoardo?”

Eleonora groaned. She should’ve known Eva wouldn’t let her dodge the topic that easily. 

“Nothing.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t do that to Silvia.”

Neither of them spoke for a long moment, then Eva said “I think he really likes you”.

Eleonora sighed. “What if he doesn’t? What if he just wants another mark on the stupid wall? I’d be the stupidest girl yet, because I should know better. I saw what he did to Silvia.”

“I don’t know, he’s putting in a lot more effort than he seems to with other girls.”

Eleonora just shrugged. “We said we’d be friends.”

“Yeah, okay” Eva said in a tone that suggested she did not agree at all.

“I don’t know what to do about Silvia. I don’t want her to hate me.”

“Hey if she’ll hate you she’ll hate me too. I’m friends with Edoardo.”

Eleonora opened her mouth to protest, but then realised that’s exactly what Eva wanted her to do.

“Yeah, we’re both friends with him. Should we tell Silvia?”

“Yeah, we’ll talk to her when she gets here. Which should be soon.”

And that’s how Eleonora, Eva and Silvia ended up sitting awkwardly in silence at Eva’s dining table. Silvia had let slip to Paola that she hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and apparently that meant they all had to eat. Paola was making them food, enough for Fede and Sana too, since they’d be arriving at any minute.

Eleonora wished Silvia had more to say. Why was today the one day she ran out of new cat pictures?

Eva spoke first, and god Eleonora loved that girl. Part of her felt like she’d burst into flames just from speaking his name in front of Silvia. Her entire body felt hot just thinking about him in her presence. She felt like a sinner in church.

She remembered how her body had felt like it was burning in the homewares store. When she’d woken up in his arms. When he’d held her hand.

She was evil. She was going to hell.

“So, you know how Edoardo gave me a lift to school a while ago?”

Silvia just nodded. Eleonora felt like she might throw up.

“Well, I’ve kind of kept in touch with him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, we talk a bit. Tag each other in Facebook posts.”

Silvia didn’t respond for a second, and Eleonora watched her with curiosity as she kept her face carefully composed. It seemed Silvia was keeping herself carefully composed, too.

“Are you dating him or something?”

Eva laughed. “No, no, no! Nothing like that. It just...we’re kind of friends? And I wanted to know if that’s okay?”

Eleonora had managed to avoid Silvia’s scrutiny so far this conversation, but suddenly she was trapped in her gaze.

“And you?”

“He asked me if we could be friends.” Eleonora conveniently left out the part where he’d made it clear he wanted more. Where it was clear she wanted more too.

She didn’t mean to keep talking, but for some reason she did. “But I don’t want to do anything that would hurt you, so if us being friends with him makes you uncomfortable...”

Silvia shook her head. “No, it’s fine. This is good, actually.”

Eleonora grinned. Oh thank god. She felt Eva’s eyes on her, so quickly tried to compose herself.

“Who knows, maybe Edoardo and I can be friends too. He apologised to me. Maybe I’ll talk to him tonight.”

Silvia’s words made Eleonora feel things. Like, get away from my man things. Which was completely ridiculous. 

“So we’re all cool with being friends with Edoardo?”

Silvia nodded, and much too late Eleonora did too.

They walked through Edoardo’s front door, and Eleonora could feel her heart beating in her throat. She needed to see a doctor. For so many reasons. 

Maybe she just needed a lobotomy. 

Maybe she should go join a convent. Go be with God.

The girls made their way into the kitchen to find cups, opening one of the bottles of wine they’d brought. Eleonora downed the contents of her cup much too fast, filling it up again but not taking a drink from it. If she was too drunk she might do something stupid. She needed to be just happy enough that she could deal with the awkwardness of being around all these people at once.

They migrated to the dance floor, Eleonora marvelling at how other people were so drunk already.

“There’s Edoardo!”

Eleonora turned and looked where Silvia was gesturing, experiencing tunnel vision for a second. It took her a second to notice that Fede stood behind him as well, part of a larger group of boys.

Edoardo looked good. He always did. 

He looked towards the dance floor and their eyes met, a grin spreading wide across his face.

“Let’s go say hi” Silvia said, already making her way towards him.

Eva tugged at Eleonora’s arm, making her follow them. Eleonora made sure to stay at the back of group, wanting to suss out the situation first. 

Edoardo pulled Eva into a hug as soon as she was close enough, and Eleonora felt her stomach flip with jealousy. But maybe that meant she could hug him too? God, she was acting like a lovesick lunatic. 

So what if he was decent company and looked like art come to life. She needed to pull herself together.

She watched as Eva turned to Federico, hugging him much more awkwardly then she had Edoardo.

Edoardo was talking to Fede and Sana, who had greeted him with a high five and handshake respectively, but kept looking to Eleonora. He started inching closer, but Silvia interrupted by stepping forward and pulling him into a hug. His eyes were on Eleonora, looking like he didn’t have a clue how to react. It was mildly amusing.

“Eva and Ele tell me we’re all friends now” Silvia said, pulling back from the hug. Edoardo tore his eyes away from Eleonora to look at Silvia.

“Um, yes” Edoardo responded, his hand flying to the back of his neck. Eleonora smirked.

“We’ll all have to hang out now” Silvia said, and Edoardo just nodded.

He broke away from her, making his way to Eleonora. He lifted his arms up to hug her just a beat too soon, and she grinned. 

He was overeager, and she was glad she wasn’t the only one. He pulled her against him, wrapping his arms tightly around him. Her arms rested around his waist, trying not to be too enthusiastic about it.

“Hey Ele” he said softly in her ear, and she shivered involuntarily. There goes that plan. “I’ve missed you.”

She was screwed.

A few hours had passed, and the night had gone pretty much as Eleonora had expected. Silvia was nearing the stage of drunkenness that meant she’d have to go home soon, and Eva was currently in the corner sitting on Fede’s lap.

Eleonora had maintained a good level of tipsy so far, but her cup was empty and that was an issue. She left the dance floor, where she, Sana and Fede had been making glorious fools of themselves, and made her way to the kitchen.

It was surprisingly empty. Weren’t kitchens meant to be the heart of the home? Where people congregated and whatnot? Maybe that was just in movies.

She searched for the bottles of wine they’d brought along, wondering if the other girls had drunk more than she thought. She should probably check on Eva and Silvia.

Edoardo said her name from behind her, and she spun around much too fast. Friends don’t have such a violent reaction to their friend’s voice, she told herself.

“Hey, Edo.”

He grinned at her, and she didn’t think she’d done anything to warrant such joy but sure.

“Are you out of drinks?”

Eleonora frowned. “I think we must be.”

“I’ll make you something.”

She hoped he was going to make something seriously complicated. Something utterly time consuming. She hoped they’d be there all night.

She leant against the counter, watching him fetch ingredients. Unfortunately, he just seemed to be making her a something, lime and soda.

“How’s your night been so far?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, good. Enjoying playing host?”

He shrugged, keeping his eyes down as he cut up a lime.  “I don’t know, sometimes being the host means you have to spend time with everybody when you’d rather...not.”

She looked down at her hands. That didn’t necessarily mean anything.

She opened her mouth to say something, looking up to find him much closer than he had been a second ago. He stepped forward even closer, and her breath caught in her throat.

“Um, I just need the vodka behind you.” 

She nodded, but didn’t move. He reached behind her, picking up the bottle. She could feel the heat radiating off him, and her mind flashed back to all the previous times they’d been this close. 

“How strong do you..”

Her fingertips grazed his chest, and he stopped mid-sentence. She didn’t know what she was doing.

His face was suddenly closer to hers, so close she could feel his breath fanning across her face. 

His nose brushed against hers, and she heard a thump behind her as he set the vodka down. The noise and the contact combined brought her back to her senses. She flattened her hand out on his chest, gently pushing him away. “Not here.”

He pulled away immediately. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

He picked up the bottle again, quickly finishing off her drink. He slid it across the counter towards her, seemingly trying to keep his distance. 

She felt like the awkwardness was suffocating her.

“I’ll...talk to you later then?”

He looked up, eyes locking with hers, and she couldn’t read the expression on his face. He nodded slowly, and she wished this wasn’t so damn complicated.

She realised too late, as she was walking away with the drink in her hand and wondering if she’d just screwed up, that she hadn’t actually said he shouldn’t kiss her.

Silvia plopped down on the couch, leaning her head on Eleonora’s shoulder.

Eleonora had been sitting with Eva, but then Eva had gone off with Fede. Eleonora felt like maybe she should have tried harder to dissuade Eva, but whatever.

“Do you think that now we’re friends with Edoardo he might see me as more than a hookup?”

Eleonora froze, too many emotions flooding through her for her to decide on one reaction. “Uh, what?”

“I just, y’know, maybe if he starts seeing me as a friend it could eventually turn into that.”

"Or you could just be friends?” Eleonora knew her tone was a little harsh, and she knew why, but she was a whole lot of drinks deep and she just didn’t care. She was trying so hard to look after Silvia’s feelings, but honestly what Silvia had with Edoardo wasn’t that deep. She was fairly certain she’d spent more time with him than Silvia ever had. None of it was fair.

“Can you find out if he’s into anyone right now?”

Eleonora sighed. Part of her wanted to say ‘me, he’s into me’ but she didn’t really know that for sure. What did being ‘into’ someone entail? Did it mean he wanted to date her, sleep with her and ditch, what? “No, Silvia. I’m not doing that. I thought you wanted to be friends with him.”

Silvia groaned, staggering to her feet. “You’re no help.”

Eleonora pulled her back down onto the couch. “Come on, Sil.”

Silvia shook her head. “No, I need another drink.”

“No, you don’t.”

Silvia grunted in an unappreciative way, but sat still and rested her head on Eleonora’s shoulder again.

Eleonora gestured to Sana and Fede as they walked past, beckoning them closer. “When are you guys heading home?”

Sana looked at Silvia, looking mildy amused. “We were planning to leave any minute. Silvia, want a ride?”

Eleonora sighed, relieved. Next to her, Silvia started protesting. She almost laughed, but she was too busy feeling like there was ice in her veins as she replayed Silvia’s words from earlier.

Sana and Fede helped Silvia up, guiding her outside.

Eleonora leant back, resting her head against the couch and closing her eyes.

“Ele!” Her eyes shot open.

He was drunker than he had been before. She studied his face, from his rosy cheeks to his messier-than-ever hair.

“Come dance with me” he said too loudly, holding out his hand for her and moving his weight from one foot to the other.

She knew she shouldn’t, but she was drunker than before too, and it was just dancing.

He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her into his side as he led her to the dance floor.

“Wait, am I allowed to do this?”

She looked at him in surprise, not sure what he was talking about.

They were in the middle of the dance floor now, and he pulled her closer to him by her waist. Letting go of her for a moment, he lifted her arms up and rested them around his neck. He started swaying, making her move with him. Why were they swaying like this to a fast song? She remembered how he’d danced with Silvia. This was nothing like that. He’d danced with Silvia like he was ensnaring prey. There was no trace of that here. She didn’t understand.

He moved one hand to the small of her back, holding her to him while his other found its way to the back of her head and tangled in her hair. His nose brushed against her temple. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. Part of her wondered if he was just using the dance floor as an excuse to hold her, but she brushed it off. Surely any second he’d try to take her up to his room.

“What do you want, Ele?”

“I don’t know what you mean, Edo.”

“Do you just not...” he sighed, pulling away to look at her.

She didn’t know what to say. “I have to go” she said, disentangling herself from him and turning to leave the dance floor. She darted out of the room, realising as she walked out his front door that she’d left her things inside. She had her card and her phone and that was it.

She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. Whatever.

“Ele, talk to me.”

She turned around to face him, digging her fingers into her arms.

“I can’t do this.”

He ran his fingers through his hair. “What exactly?”

Eleonora sighed again, moving one hand up to rub the bridge of her nose. “Silvia thinks that now we’re all friends you’ll start looking at her as more than a one night stand” she blurted out with a groan.

Edoardo stepped closer to her, reaching out and putting his hands on her upper arms. She wanted to push him away, but she also wanted him to go back to holding her. She settled on doing nothing.

“Silvia knows nothing’s going to happen between us. She could probably use the wake up call.”

Eleonora glared at him, taking a step back and away from him. “What, are you just trying to use me to get rid of her?”

He gaped at her. “What?”

Eleonora groaned, running her fingers through her hair. “I don’t want to do this. This is too much. It’s too hard.”

He stepped forward, taking her face in his hands. “It’ll be okay.” 

There it was again. That feeling of her whole body being on fire. That wasn’t meant to be a good thing, but god it was. 

He was looking at her with such tenderness, and she was so damn tired. This whole thing was exhausting. It felt like no matter what she did, she was going to lose somehow. Just once, she wanted to get what she wanted.

She bit her lip, at war with herself.

“Please, Ele, talk to me. We can figure this out together” he was slurring his words slightly from the alcohol. It was cute.

She didn’t want to talk, she thought as she stepped forward and pulled his face down to hers by his collar. 

He made a sound in the back of his throat, and she thought it was a sound of protest but then he moved one hand from her face to her waist and held her firmly against him.

God, she wished they’d done this sooner.

She sighed and he took advantage of it, deepening the kiss. She tangled the fingers of one hand into his hair. That stupid messy hair. 

She slid her other hand down his chest, moving it to the small of his back and pulling him tight against her.

They stayed like that for a long moment, wrapped up in each other. Eventually she needed air, pulling away from the kiss. He grinned down at her, and her face heated up under his gaze.

The heat burning through her from the kiss was sobering, and she realised what she’d done.

“I have to go home” she said. 

He nodded, still grinning. “We’re alright though?” He tucked her hair behind one ear, his thumb rubbing against her cheek.

“Yeah” she said, but she wasn’t sure.

[italicwatches]

Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online - Episode 06

I should probably watch some anime today. It’s Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online, episode 06! Here we GO!

-It’s February 11th, just a bit after the Squad Jam. And LLENN is in GGO, down in the cash shop where THEY HAVE A NEW P90 IN STOCK FUCK YEAHHHHHHH! P-chan, daughter of P-chan, is born! LLENN loves her submachine guns so much. It’s a wholesome love between a woman and her gun.

-And hey, there’s Eva! What’s the Boss doing in a place like this?

-Opening! You know, sidenote, I’m wondering if GGO has some level of self-identity thing going on. Like, it’s one thing that Karen and Saki each happened to get a form that matched who they wanted to be…But the entire team of tiny girls who wish they were bigger and got more respect, waking up in GGO as tall, buff amazons? On top of Karen, who wants to be cute and adorable and the little spoon, waking up as literally the smallest size the system allows? That feels a little too unlikely to just be the odds.

-The 15th. It’s the post-credits from episode one, as the whole of Saki’s crew is there watching the highlights from Karen’s performance in the Squad Jam, and seeing just how much crazy shit she pulled off before they fought her. You’re a MONSTER, Karen-san! A total BADASS!

-Karen is still trying to properly hook this gaggle of adorable schoolgirls she’s somehow befriended, to the terrifying amazons who pushed her to the brink. Saki is all huffy about how Karen is still kind of scared of Eva. Well what about Sophie, huh? Look at their gunner, she’s huge!

-Yeah but she has a gentler demeanor, as we start getting connections. So, Saki is Eva. Kana, with the bob cut, is Sophie. Mi, the blonde, has the sharpshooter Toma, and has learned to drive stick because she’s been overseas. The one with those cutesy rounded eyebrows, Shiori, is Roza the other heavy-gunner. Their second sniper is Moe, who is deeply embarrassed about how she puts on such cool airs in the game. And then there’s Risa, who is Tanya the scout, the closest to anyone’s real self…But still tall and muscled, just the sleek muscles of a runner.

-So that’s the whole gang! By schoolday, they are but the humble high school rhythmic gymnastics club. But by night, they are a vicious crew…And they’re here to talk strategy. They want to walk through the entire encounter and figure out where they dropped the ball! They’re in your care, Karen-san!

-Episode 06! “SAO Loser”

-Also they devour the snacks she gives them because they are, after all, athletic teenagers. And it turns out they’ve only known each other since last April, when they all joined the club…And they were fucking terrible. It’s actually why they got into VR gaming, to learn to communicate physically and sync up properly…After their coach got fed up and quit on them.

-As for why GGO? IT was the fact that it was so different, so far out of their usual context, that they could start from zero and not the outright negative position they were in with their actual sports. A crisp, clear goal, that they all knew they knew nothing about accomplishing. And of course, it’s just plain a good game, so they got super hooked on it!

-Which is why now they’ve got to push for victory in the next proper Squad Jam! What about rhythmic gymnastics…? That too. BUT ESPECIALLY GGO. Now, will you be in the next one?!

-Karen’s…Not so sure. This was kind of sprung on her. She’s not gonna say no, but she can’t say yes. And she doesn’t even know if M will keep playing, let alone want to team up with her again going forward…

-…Saki is sad now. But eventually, they’re all ready to head out, and Karen’s got to get ready for her big trip back to her parents’ place for spring break. Saki is still sad about not having a LLENN to war against in the inevitable next Squad Jam.

-The 24th. Karen’s back in her hometown, out with Miyu, and kind of wishing neither of those things were the case judging by the look on her face. Miyu keeps taking photos of her new look and she saw the highlight reel of you and that M guy! You kicked ASS! Tell her everything, everything! What made you want to split up from M? That was BANANAS!

-So Miyu learns everything…And yeah this Pito chick sounds like a nutter. Just make sure she never knows your meatspace identity and you’ll be fine. Oh, hey, this karaoke bar has some new Elsa songs! You wanna do one? Miyu’s gonna do one. They are gonna get that next set of concert tickets!

-A few days later, Karen’s on the plane back home, and gets a promo email saying that the second Squad Jam has just been announced for early April.

-Sidenote, these things don’t make any sense. Like, look, it was…fifteen teams to start, right? That means the absolute maximum player count in a single Squad Jam is 90 people, holding the 2-6 size limit. Both of the major battle royale centric games right now, PUBG and especially Fortnite (but especially Bart) can rack up a hundred players in…about 30 seconds, give or take. Even in their own squad modes, from what I’ve seen it doesn’t take more than a few minutes to get into a match, tops.

-Now, okay, that’s on an American game audience, with something that uses heavy amounts of cross-play and can be played on an incredible variety of devices. So I will freely admit it’s not a 1:1 comparison to VR. But unless the Japanese server only has a couple thousand people on it, tops, getting 30-90 people into a match shouldn’t be the kind of thing so huge it only happens once every few months…Because if it is, how the hell is the game able to keep running and pay for what I have to imagine would be much better servers than an ordinary FPS, to deal with the immense amount of data a full-dive VR player would be sending?

-I know I’m overthinking it, and they’re getting the feel of gaming right. It’s just…I don’t know. Kind of weird the way they’re trying to make the Squad Jams, as an entire concept, into these big Events when that’s not how this shit works. Anyways, it’s another personal sponsorship, with some fine tuned rules, and any of the top four teams are pre-seeded if they choose to enter.

-Oh, and then Saki emailed Karen immediately because WOOOOO SECOND SQUAD JAM! Also, her message is full of more emojis and text emoticons than I think I’ve ever seen in one place. Also Saki wants to eat her treats again so please invite them over sometime soon. …Shit, that kid is blunt.

-When Karen gets back to her place, she finds a guy waiting for her who gets WAYYYY too close and it’s M. So that removes one possibility I had. And now she’s twice freaked out because how the fuck did he find her? Can they go somewhere private to talk about that? Because shit’s gotten Real.

-And that’s how they end up in a little cafe area in the apartment building, I think? Hard to say. But, bluntly, M has to admit that he has no proof of any of his claims, but there’s some shit you need to know. Also, he gives a real name, one Asougi Goushi. Goushi is RIGHT UP ON HER and begging for her help because people’s lives are, for real, on the line.

-His, and Pito’s. …Oh fuck me, what is Pito doing. She’s insane, and they both know it. She’s going to participate, and form a team…And in real life, she said she intends to kill herself if she doesn’t take the gold. But not until she confirms his death.

-Karen would like off this ride now please. This is ludicrous and you should go to the police.

-But…Well, here’s the deal. You know the SAO Incident, right? Thousands of people locked in, forced to fight for their lives. Pito…Wasn’t in that group. She was a beta tester, and became obsessed with the game. On launch day, something came up. She had to delay her entrance into it for just a few hours…Enough for the lockdown to happen, and SAO to become a sealed bubble she couldn’t enter.

-She watched it all on the news. She watched everyone else go through the greatest crucible of their lives. And it broke her. That she lost her shot at entering that crucible, turned her inside out. To have a chance to burn her life out in battle…Ever since VR games became popular again, she’s been throwing every spare moment she had into them. But they don’t satisfy her yearning for the void.

-For a little while, though, things were…stable. Until the SAO Incident was solved, and the survivors started talking. Pito had to confront her ‘lost opportunity’, and learned about the player killers, who committed genuine murder inside the world of SAO. Most of the deaths, outside of those first few chaotic days, were in fact from player killers or from self-defense against them.

-Other sidenote, I don’t know if it’s just one of those Manga Things where shit gets enshrined and used and reused because it’s an easily understood story path, but Japanese gaming culture seems to have this really different attitude towards PvP and attacking other players in general.

-And Pito…Pito envied them. Their chance to put their lives on the line, to kill or be killed. To be them or to strike them down. That’s how fucking insane Pito is!

-Things weren’t so bad when she was burning of steam in GGO…But then she missed the Squad Jam, the first big script-changer event! And it’s caused a relapse. …So she’s going to try and turn Squad Jam 2: Gunfire Boogaloo into a death game. Yes, yes! So again. Why not the cops or professionals.

-…He can’t. Pito’s too important to him. If he goes to the police or psychiatrists, she’ll be killed, jailed or put in a psychiatric ward, and if they try to lock her up she’ll find a way to kill herself. She’d die, and not before destroying herself in the eyes of all the people who rely on her.

-…This is over her pay grade, man. She can’t help you here.

-KABEDON

-Goushi corners her up with the very important move that is Kaibedon, and look. He, loves, Pito! That’s why he has to find a way for this to end in her survival, so he can get her back to center! Karen’s first kabedon, and it’s to hear a guy confess his love for someone else. This is bullshit.

-So they end up sitting back down, with Goushi drinking black coffee, which he hates, but he drinks it because Pito likes it. …Dude just have a sweet drink and mellow. So, okay, talk it out. What’s your plan and why aren’t you scared like when she had P-chan aimed at your damn head?

-Because his real fear isn’t death…It’s leaving Pito behind without him there to keep her grounded. Say he dies. Hell, say Pito kills him. Then…Then what. What if she doesn’t have the will to kill herself? What if she tries for suicide by cop, or worse, what if she breaks down and her resolve cracks entirely? She’d be destroyed. She wouldn’t even have the dignity of death, she’d have a hollow life.

-And okay, explain in very small words how Karen’s supposed to help.

-Enter the SJ 2, face Pito, and defeat her in battle!

-…WHAT?!

-You are the one person who she will accept a defeat from. She made that promise to you! If you defeat her honestly, and if she knows it’s an honest fight…She’ll be stuck to her promise. She’ll have to stay alive, so she can meet you. And that’ll give him time, to pull her back to center and out of this relapse state.

-…This is insane. This is ludicrous. But…If it’s the only option on the board…Guess she’s entering.

-Credits!

-Aftercredits! Karen’s back in bed, and now has Goushi’s personal email as a way to talk…But Karen needs someone to enter with. Who the hell can LLENN rely…on…Miyu! MIYU SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP! …Miyu is so fucking down. They’re gonna rage, Karen!

I guess SAO’s gonna SAO, huh. Gotta be honest, I would’ve enjoyed this more without the death game angle. But oh well, let’s try and enjoy ourselves next time, in episode SIX of SAO Alt: GGO! Wait for it!

[inaheartbeat-phff]

Chapter 5

Thursday, January 8th, 8:00am Huis ten Bosch Palace

Arabella was sipping her morning tea while reading the morning paper when Harry stumble into the dining room.

"Good morning sleeping beauty. Had a nice sleep?" Arabella asked a messy haired Harry.

Harry just grunted in response before leaning down to kiss her cheeks and sitting down next to her on her left. He rubbed his eyes more before saying a low morning to Arabella. Arabella just laughed before going back to her paper and let Harry pile on his breakfast.

Arabella has an engagement for the whole day and that is to go to the Centre for Safety and Development in Amersfoort. Since Harry is with her, she asked if he wanted to go with her and he agreed. He had a crash course of the protocols surrounding a joint engagement and the Dutch Royal Family's official twitter page as well as Kensington Palace twitter page have announced that Harry will join Arabella in today's engagement.

@DutchRoyalFamily: Prince Henry of Wales will be joining the Princess of Orange on her visit to the Centre for Safety and Development in Amersfoort. The Princess of  Orange is excited to share this visit with the prince. They will be travelling to Amersfoort via escort and cannot wait to see the centre. More updates will be given during the engagement. This will be Prince Harry's first official engagement with the Princess of Orange in the Netherlands.

@KensingtonRoyal: Prince Harry will be joining the Princess of Orange, Princess Arabella on her visit to the Centre For Safety and Development in Amersfoort, Netherlands. Prince Harry is excited to go on this visit with the princess. More updates will be given during the engagement. This will be Prince Harry's first official engagement with the Princess in the Netherlands.

A few minutes later, Pieter came inside the dining room to announce Arabella's glam team. With a parting kiss, Arabella left to start getting ready as they are leaving at nine sharp. Harry had just put some food into his mouth when he sees Pieter enter the room again. Looking at him in confusion, Harry was a bit lost.

"Mr Adam is here, sir." Pieter said with a nod of his head before leaving the room. Harry's mouth gaped. He had never have someone be introduced for him before. Sure they do that with his granny but never with him. He have seen it before with Arabella but that's expected, she's the crown princess. Harry however, is fourth in line to the British throne, the spare. Will doesn’t even get that treatment. Harry was in a loss for words.

"Sir, the response from the public is overwhelming." Adam, Arabella's press secretary, and acting as Harry's press secretary while he was here said.

"Your poll numbers have increased since you were seen with Princess Arabella on Tuesday. Since this morning's announcement, your numbers of supporters went up to the roof and a lot of your supporters are very happy with the announcement." Adam continued.

"That's a good thing right?" Harry asked, still startled with Pieter's announcement.

"Yes your highness. The public loves you." Adam confirmed. "I would like to remind you of the protocols you would need to follow during the engagement sir. I know this is not your first rodeo but it's best if you are prepared." Adams said.

Harry was not used to the amount of formality Adam was giving him. He just sat there in his pyjamas eating breakfast while Adam was giving him a briefing. He was also used to the staff just calling him Harry and only your royal highness or your highness during engagements. Again, he remembered that this wasn’t his staff members and Arabella's staff members are more formal and strict than Harry's.

With a nod from Harry, Adam continued. "You will step out of the car first before going around to the Princess of Orange's side. One of her highness' PO's will open the door and you will offer her your hand and help her down the car. Please let her walk before you and not after you and let her greet the officials first. Do not offer your hand first and only speak once you've been introduced. Princess Arabella is a senior member of the royal family therefore she will enter the centre first before you sir. You will only be exempted in walking behind her if and only if, she were to hold your arms or beckon you forwards. Please keep your PDA's to yourself when you are in the public eye. The rest of the protocols are similar to that of the British ones so I don’t think you need a refresher on that sir." with a nod, Adam left the room before Harry could speak a word.

Harry was speechless. He was a bit overwhelmed by that and thought if that was what it feels like for his ex-girlfriend Chelsy when she went on engagements with him. That was so weird, Harry thought. I better get used to that. With a shake of his head, Harry stood up from his seat and went up to the closet to get ready for the engagement.

Harry smiled at his girlfriend and her team as they were almost done and went to get this suit from his section of the closet. He then went to shower and got ready himself.

Arabella was laughing and enjoying herself as her glam team got her ready for the engagement. They would not be following her to Amersfoort so they went with easy and comfortable. Her make up natural and her hair slightly straightened, Arabella got up from her chair and thanked her team. She then went into the changing room to change into the outfit that Eva has chosen. She walked out at the same time as Harry.

"You look beautiful." Harry said before kissing her lips.

"Hm, you look dashing." Arabella replied giggling. She then moved away from Harry and into her jewellery section to pick out which ones she was going to wear.

"Pieter announced Adam just now after you left. Caught me off guard." Harry said leaning against the banister of one of her shelves.

"Really, well you should get used to it, if you plan on sticking around for a long time." Arabella smiled at him through the camera while putting on her earrings.

"Yeah, felt a little weird when Adam refreshed my protocols." Harry stated.

"Well now you must know how your ex-girlfriends felt when they have to go on an engagement with you." She laughed. When she went on an engagement with Harry last year in London, she didn’t need a refresher on protocol as she is the crown princess. She doesn’t have to curtsy to anyone other than kings and queens so she just acted like she normally would. The only difference is that she had let Harry led her during the engagement, knowing that she was just tagging along and that she wasn’t there officially.

"Don’t worry darling, you'll do fine." Arabella rubbed his shoulders before going out of the room.

"Let's go we don’t want to be late." She yelled back.

There was 3 black SUVs, 2 police cars and 6 police motorcycles waiting for them in the front foyer.

"Good morning everybody," Arabella greeted as she stepped out the front door. "Are we ready to get this show on the road?" Laughing, she bounded down the stairs and got into the car. Harry, looking in front of him in bewilderment and shock, stood frozen for a second before continuing his way to the car and went inside.

Driving their car is Markus and sitting in the passenger seat is Finn. There is one car before theirs that held Harry's two PO's and Ed while the car behind them held Arabella's PO's as well as Jane. With a police car in front of them as well as one behind. The 6 police motorcycles were surrounding them.

This was how the order of entourage was. There are two police bikes leading the entourage, followed by the police car and then the first SUV which held Harry's PO's. Next was their car with a police bike in each of their sides. Followed by the SUV containing Arabella's PO's and then the second police car and finally the last two police bikes bringing in their rear.

Harry just looked at Arabella in shock, while Arabella went through her papers detailing about their visit today like everything was normal. The car then started to move. Looking out the window, Harry saw the guards saluting as they pass through the main gates of the palace. He wasn’t sure what's happening. If he was outside, he would have guessed it was the king that went out of the gates and not Arabella. He didn’t have police escort whenever he had an engagement. He was sure that even William didn’t have a police escort while in Britain. Sure whenever they were overseas there would be one or two, but not this much.

"Yes Harry?" Arabella looked up to find Harry was still staring at her in shock. Laughing at his facial expression, she continued, "Is everything okay?"

"Is everything okay?! What is this? I thought we’re just going on a small engagement?" Harry asked looking at her like she was insane for asking that question.

Laughing, Arabella tried to answer as simple as possible. "Yes, we are going on a small engagement, however, that engagement is an hour away and well this usually speeds things up a bit." She shrugged.

"Speed things up a bit?!" Harry exclaimed still in shock.

"Calm down will you. You should thank me you know, I manage to convince Finn to thin it out a bit." She smiled rubbing his arms trying to calm him down.

"Thin it out a bit?!" Harry asked, his eyes wide. "You mean there's usually more?"

"You're so adorable right now. Yes Harry, usually there are three police cars and eight police bikes. There would also be a fourth SUV which holds my team." Arabella explained softly, knowing this was a shock to him. He wasn’t used to big entourages let alone policed ones in his home country. They were usually only reserved for the Queen and even then, they don’t tend to use a lot. The British Royal Family likes to keep things to a minimum with the entourage when on an official engagement limited to only three SUVs and maybe one police bike. Here in the Netherlands however, for Arabella's father as well as herself, they give a rather large entourage to show that it is them that is travelling.

"Well they did say police escort on the announcement this morning." Arabella shrugged. "Relax darling, get used to it, this is how my life is, only this is a small engagement and not a big one."

Taking a deep breath, Harry let himself relax for the journey while holding on to Arabella's hand.

Exactly one hour later, they have arrived in Amersfoort and are being led into the centre with Arabella's door facing the centre opening. Looking out the window, Harry couldn’t believe the amount of people who turned up for the engagement. On Arabella's side, he could see a line of people just waiting to meet with Arabella. When the car came to a spot, Markus went out of the car and opened Harry's door. Remembering protocol, he gave a small wave to the crowds and helped Arabella down from the car. Smiling at the crowds, Arabella gave a big wave and a big smile before turning to Harry.

"You okay?" She asked him.

He just nodded smiling, "Good." She replied.

Hand in hand, Arabella led him up the centre. Once they were a few feet from the line of people, they bowed simultaneously to Arabella. She then shook the first person on the line, which Harry learned to be the founder and CEO, Ebe Brons.

With a bow, he shook Arabella's hand and introduced himself.

Smiling, Arabella asked how he was before introducing Harry. Again, Ebe gave a small bow compared to Arabella's and shook his hands. That was only the start of the engagement. Walking down the line, and shaking people's hands a few steps behind Arabella was quite normal. Harry felt at ease and in the zone as he talked to people and learned more about the organisation and what they do. The founder and CEO, Ebe have been talking to Arabella and Harry have been talking to the teamleader. All in all, Harry enjoyed the engagement and hoped that the next engagement they would be seen together was when they are engaged.

Arabella kept looking back at Harry to see whether he was okay. He was doing fine, more than fine actually and she was more than proud of how he was doing. At the end of the engagement, Arabella thanked the CEO and the staff for the day and walked outside to the front. Smiling and waving at the crowds, she leaned towards Harry and told him what happens now.  

"We're going to greet the crowds now, we'll walk down the road to where the car is waiting. Is that okay with you?" Arabella asked.

"Yes that’s quite alright. Do you want to take the right while I take the left?" Harry confirmed.

"Yeah that sounds good. I'll see you on the other side." She smiled at Harry before turning away and going to the right side of the street. There against the barricades are people who have waited ages just to meet her.

"Hello, how are you today?" Arabella smiled and shook hands. Keeping eye contact when she shook their hands and a smile on her face. Once in a while she would turn around to look how Harry is doing and he was doing marvellously. She then would turn back and shake more hands. She was passed many gifts before she passed the three quarter mark. And that was when things went south.

She could feel Finn behind her going tense as he listen to whatever was said on the other side of his comms. Harry's PO's were also tense as they were brought into what was happening. Arabella decided that if it there was a danger, her PO's would quickly take her and Harry out of the situation so for the moment being, she would continue the smile on her face and shake peoples' hands. Only a few people left and then they were off to head home and have dinner with her family. She was about to shake the hands of the person in front of her and got close to touching his hand when something reflected on the light inside the person's other hand.

Finn had seen the knife as it reflected in the sun and pulled Arabella away shouting the code word for knife, Mes. But that was enough time for the person to lunge forwards and sliced Arabella's sides. With things happening really fast and adrenaline pumping through her veins, she didn’t even feel the cut and was rushed inside the car. The undercover MVDs quickly tackled the guy that tried to stab Arabella as well as the other one that was about to lunge at Harry. Thankfully, Harry was a few people before the attacker when they got the code word. Harry didn’t know what was happening and was shoved inside the car. The car then pulled away very fast leaving behind a semi chaos as local police are trying to calm the crowds and the MVDs arresting the attackers.

"What happened?" Harry asked breathing hard.

"Some guy tried to stab me." Arabella said before wincing a little. Unconsciously she had put her hands on her sides to try and stop the bleeding.

Harry turned to face Arabella before his eyes went down to her sides as her white blouse quickly turned red.

"YOU GOT STABBED?" Harry exclaimed still staring at her now red top.

"Tried, Finn got me away in time." Arabella replied still not knowing that she got a deep cut on her side.

"Markus, we need to go to the closest hospital there is." Harry said to Markus.

Confused, Finn turned around to ask Harry what for when he saw the princess's red top. He then looked at Harry silently asking him if Arabella knew. Harry shook his head telling Finn all he needed to know. Giving a nod to Markus, he then informed the rest of his entourage as well as the coordinators at the palace about the plan and what had happened to the Princess of Orange.

"Bella, try not to panic, but you got hurt during the attempt." Harry said to her softly.

Arabella going in and out of consciousness due to the blood loss just looked at Harry with a far off look in her eyes.

"Bella, listen to me. Stay awake darling, we're almost at the hospital. Bella? Bel-" That was when Arabella's eyes rolled back and she slumped in her seat. Wide eyes and a panicked shout from Harry gave Markus all the motivation for him to ignore the escort and floored his way to Meander Medisch Centrum. They arrived in a minute and Finn went down to get them to help.

Rushing out, the doctors and nurses widened their eyes as they see Prince Harry carrying their beloved Princess of Orange. Snapping into work mode, they realise that they could not afford to lose her. Putting her down on the stretcher, Harry watched as they wheeled Arabella away, hooking her up to an oxygen mask as well as other machines.

Harry's heart pounded as he stood in the entrance shocked. Ed walked behind Harry and put his hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Come on let's get you cleaned up." Ed took Harry to the washroom and helped him clean himself up. Harry then changed into some spare clothes before washing his face. He sighed and went out the door. There, he saw a doctor waiting for him.

"How is she doc?" Harry asked playing with his hands.

"she's stable right now. The wound on her side is just a cut. It didn’t hit any organs or blood vessels. The Princess of Orange just passed out due to blood loss so we're just replenishing that now. Her side have been stitched up and in a couple of hours she should be good to go. Do you want to go to her room?" the doctor asked.

"Yes please. Thank you doctor." Harry shake the doctors hands before following up to Arabella's room.

As Harry entered the room, Arabella looked up and smiled at him.

"Hey. You're wearing the same outfit as Tuesday." she giggled.

Smiling, Harry bent down and kissed her slowly, as if afraid that when he pulled away, she would disappear.

"How are you feeling?" He asked when he pulled away and sat down on her bed beside her.

"I'm okay, I think they doped me up on medicine and I can't feel anything." She smiled lopsidedly.

That was when the doctor came inside the room.

“Your royal highness, you can be discharged now. We don’t usually let the patient go so soon because of the cut and the stitches, but since this is an unusual case, I’m sure your own physician can subscribe you with the medications. The Princess will be on the pain meds for the next few hours so you should be back before it wears off.” The doctor said. “All you need to do is sign a few things, to let us know that you’re free to go.”

Arabella was then given the clipboard and she signed a few things, thankfully her signature was still eligible and they were off to head home.

The car ride home went uneventful. Arabella fell asleep a few minutes into the ride and Harry just held her close, thanking god that this wasn’t a life threatening injury and that he was so close to losing her.

Once they reached Huis ten Bosch, Harry gently shook Arabella and helped her down the car. Pieter stood by the door, helping Harry with Arabella. “I’ve called the Princess’ doctor, she should be here any moment.” Pieter informed Harry.

On top of the stairs, Harry could see king Willem-Alexander and Queen Maxima standing by the front door. He could see the worry from Alex’s pacing and Maxima playing with her hands. As they got closer to them, Arabella still half asleep on Harry’s side, Maxima rushed forwards and pulled her daughter into her arms. She then started to talk in Spanish leaving Harry in a state of confusion.

“¡ Oh, mi bebé! ¿Qué ha pasado? ¿está bien? ¿Estás bien? ¿Qué duele? ¿quieres un poco de té? ¿algo de comer? vamos a llevarte a tu cuarto y a descansar. cenaremos en tu suite esta noche, mija.” [oh my baby! what happened? is she okay? are you okay? what hurts? do you want some tea? anything to eat? come let’s get you to your room and get you some rest. we’ll have dinner at your suite tonight daughter.]

With that Maxima pulled Arabella into the palace and start guiding her to her suite. Willem-Alexander who only understand a few sentences from that fast rant, turned to Pieter and informed him that they will be having dinner at Princess Arabella’s suite tonight and to move everything to there. With a nod, Pieter walked off and left Harry with Willem-Alexander.

Alexander patted Harry’s shoulders before saying, “come let us see what the women are up to.” He then started walking off to the direction of Arabella’s suite and Harry hurried up to follow behind him.

“We got the notice as soon as Finn said the word. We were moved to a bunker downstairs and got updates by the minute.” Alexander said as he walked. “The attackers have been captured and questioned. Now the MVDs are going to raid their houses and find out more about the attackers.” Rubbing his eyebrows, Alexander continued explaining to Harry. “There were two attackers at the crowds, one on each side so they are prepared to attack her on both sides. When we announced that you were going to be there as well, they decided that they could kill two birds with one stone. From what I gather, they work alone, but they could also be behind someone who has a bigger agenda.” He explained.

“I’m just glad that we all got out with no threatening injuries sir.” Harry said rubbing his hands.

“Yes well I think this is only the beginning.” Alexander sighed.

They both walked the rest of the way in silence.

Their dinner was spent similarly. The two parents dotted on their injured daughter while Arabella was half asleep the entire time. Arabella’s personal doctor came and gave a prescription for her injuries. Harry asked the doctor is Arabella was able to travel for her weekend getaway and the doctor gave her okay as long as she doesn’t do any strenuous activities.

Harry then carried Arabella into her and room and let her off to sleep before he changed and went into bed with her. He knew he was going to be the overprotective boyfriend to ensure she was safe and comfortable.

Next Chapter 

[kamandzak]

Excerpt - Letters From Ernest

I started a new book, y’ll

Here’s chapter 5

Synopsis: Aoife Walsh's parents have raised her and her brother through means that are not the best; convinced that everything can be chalked up to teenage laziness, the two parents run their successful business and hound their children to an unhealthy degree. But when Aoife's brother commits suicide, everything changes and it's up to her to unpack the demons her brother kept inside.

“Aoife what do you mean? We’ve been over this before; it wasn’t your fault. It was nobody’s fault.”

“Stop saying that!” I shouted at Phil and he closed his mouth, sliding his chair away from me. Never before had he seemed so taken aback.

Mr. and Mrs. Cameron had met in college, when they were friends with my parents. After school, they got married just a few months apart and when Phil’s mom got pregnant with his older sister, Penelope, they bought a house and moved a few cities away to Hamish. A house down the street went up for sale a year later and mom and dad bought it. Two years later, Ernest was born, and then within months of each other, Phil and I were brought into the world. We were as close to one another as siblings.

This was the first time in all seventeen years of our lives that I had dared to yell at him.

“I didn’t mean to-.”

“Remember my actual birthday two weeks ago? We couldn’t go out because I had a tournament the next day.”

“Right.”

“Before I left that Saturday, Ernest said he had a birthday present for me that he hadn’t wanted to give me in front of our parents. It was a big box, and he told me to take in on the bus and open it then and I did. Remember what was in it?”

“Of course. It was all of his Clansmen stuff.”

“Right. His signed set list from the one time mom and dad actually let him go and do something, his shirts, his CD’s and their EP record that was the reason for him to buy a record player. He gave me this ring too, remember?” I took the circle of metal off my finger and slammed it on the table. “He gave me something that meant something to him; something that he wanted to go to a good home. He knew then, Phil! He knew that he was going to do something and he wanted to make sure things he cared about ended up in the right hands!”

“What makes you say this?”

“Because he did the same thing with Coach! He gave him back the CD from freshman year with all the music on it. And you know what he told Coach? Ernest said that he realized he ‘shouldn’t need music to feel motivated’. It sounds so much like mom it makes me want to throw up. Coach told me today… he said that he thinks Ernest knew what he was going to do and that he wanted to make sure the CD ended back with its owner. Ernest told him that maybe he could give the CD to another athlete who was worth helping. Why didn’t I see it?” I cried out, attracting the attention of other students. “Why did I open that box and think that my brother - the biggest Clansmen fan I know - giving away all his Clansmen gear was a perfectly natural thing?”

All the while, Phil was throwing our half-eaten lunches into their boxes. As I panted against the panic, he grabbed my arm and my backpack and pulled me out of the lunchroom and into an abandoned classroom.

“What other stuff has he given away to people? What if he left things for mom and dad and they never realized either? Why didn’t I say something to him?” The same explosion of emotion I had seen in Eva in the early hours of the morning finally escaped from my chest days after losing Ernest. “What if I could have saved him?”

Phil said nothing. Instead he stood next to me, hand on my hunched shoulders, backpacks and lunchboxes hanging from his hand, slumped against the floor.

Eventually he dropped them and held his left hand towards me, sticking his pinky in front of my face, the Clansmen ring wrapped around it snuggly. I tugged it off and placed it in my pocket.

“We shouldn’t be here,” he said quietly.

“But there’s no one in the room s-.”

“I meant here. At school. We shouldn’t be here. We need time. Or at least, you need time.”

“Mom’ll never buy it. Can you imagine what she’d say?” A little worry and panic was beginning to fill me up. “And I definitely can’t miss practice. There’s another tournament and-.”

“Aoife, Ernest is dead,” Phil said bluntly. “Not even Superman himself would be able to deal with it without taking some time.”

“Should I call home?”

“I think so, yes.”

Dad answered the phone, which surprised me. I figured after hitting the voicemail, I’d be forced to all one of them at work.

“Hello?”

“Dad?”

“Aoife? Is everything okay?”

“I think I need to come home?”

“Okay. I’ll come pick you up.”

The line went dead and I stared at Phil with surprise.

“Dad’s coming to pick me up. He didn’t make a big deal out of it.”

“I’ll go tell your teachers,” Phil said, turning without a comment on dad’s weird behavior. I wandered down the hallway near the nurses office and the guidance department, reading the postings on the wall to distract myself.

I glanced in one of the rooms and saw Nurse Ellie sitting in front of her computer, filling out a form. My first period had been in sixth grade, when Nurse Ellie was at the middle school. She had helped me.

“Hello?” I knocked on the doorframe. She looked up and immediately her face read of sadness. She rose and pulled me into the office and into her arms.

“I’m so sorry, Aoife,” she said into my hair. “Coach came and told me.”

“He did?”

“He did. We were both a little worried about your brother at one point and talked about it a little.”

“What did he do? Why were you worried?”

“I’m not sure I should tell you,” she hesitated.

“Is there anything you can tell me? I’m trying to figure out what happened.”

Nurse Ellie looked nervously around her room before her eyes seemed to land on something behind me. I turned and came face-to-face with a closet.

“I supposed there’s really no reason for me to have this anymore, is there?” she asked, though it seemed she was talking to the air around us. She reached in the closet and pulled out a piece of clothing. My heart stopped.

Ernest’s jacket.

“Why do you have that?” I choked out as she handed it to me. It still smelled like him.

“He came to give it to me last week. He said he was feeling better and didn’t need it anymore.”

“When was he not feeling good? What did he mean?”

Nurse Ellie smiled at me sadly and pulled a tissue from the box, poking at the corners of her eyes under her glasses.

“I can’t talk about it. Why are you here, Aoife?”

“I’m waiting for dad. He’s coming to take me home.”

“It’s all a little overwhelming, isn’t it?”

From down the hallway I could hear dad’s voice asking for me. Times like these made me thankful that we only lived a few blocks from the high school.

“Yeah.”

The short drive home was silent. I wanted to know why dad was at home. I wanted to know why he hadn’t objected to my request to come home. I wanted to know so many things but as I held Ernest’s jacket in my lap, all I could do was breathe.

We pulled into the garage and I saw the empty space where dad’s ladder lived. As far as I knew, it was still in Ernest’s room. The frayed end of the rope spool hung against the shelf, blown around by the air vent directly to the right. As we walked up the stairs and into the living room, I saw the gray mark across the wall where the ladder had scraped the paint.

The house was silent. Dad’s laptop and work cell phone were on the dining room table. On the large television was a paused image of a tall man in glasses. He was reading from a book.

“What’s that?” I asked at last.

“Just listening to a sermon.”

We hadn’t gone to church in years. Mom and dad wanted one day a week, they had told Ernest and I, of no obligations. They overworked, spending weekdays visiting clients and weekends reviewing floor plans and contracts and colors for their construction and interior design business.

“Why?”

“It’s nice to remember that something is bigger than you. Where did you find that jacket?” dad asked, voice cracking as he sat down.

“School,” I said, avoiding the real location. Until I knew exactly why Nurse Ellie had Ernest’s jacket in her closet, I couldn’t subject dad to the knowledge that Ernest was much more screwed up than any of us thought.

“Do your teachers know that you left?”

“Phil told them.”

“Mom’s at a site and she’ll be out late.”

“Is that why you’re home?”

Dad looked at me with flat, dead eyes.

“I couldn’t work in the office. Have Phil come over here and we’ll have chicken.”

“We have chicken?”

“Pastor Nolan brought some over. He brought three meals and some DVD’s,” he gestured to the television.

“That was nice of him.”

“I know. Make sure Phil comes over. I don’t like the idea of you having to be by yourself. Go listen to some of that band you love so much.” I burst into tears and dad looked up, alarmed. “What?”

“Ernest loved them?” I quasi-asked before leaving the room. I wasn’t sure if I wanted dad to follow me down the hallway or not but when he didn’t, I wasn’t disappointed.

Aoife:

dad says come over after school

moms working late and pastor nolan

brought us dinner

dad says he doesn’t want me to be alone 

Phil:

will do

but i legit have homework that i don’t

know how to do

so will you help me?

Aoife:

of course, nerd

I had hours before Phil would be at our doorstep with our customary once-a-week slurpees and a backpack full of homework so I opened my computer, pulled up the playlist Ernest and I had aptly named clansmen, but slow and sad. It was just that. I wasn’t sure what to listen to while combing through Ernest’s birthday present to me, but it certainly couldn’t be anything happy.

The bands unique cover of Yesterday by The Beatles was sad enough. I stared at the signed set list, all five of the band members names scrawled in various handwriting. There was Sam, the trumpeter who Phil adored, and Martin the saxophonist, Travis and Dillon and Fred, the older of the five, who played guitar and drums and bass. All the big hits and a few new releases. Mom and dad had let him go for his sixteenth birthday, despite knowing the language at their shows. His birthday was February 24th. He had died a week before he was supposed to turn nineteen.

I didn’t want to stain the list with my sadness so I put it away, pulling out the shirts Ernest had bought over the years, or that had been bought for him. Then there were the CD’s and the records. All of it was here. If there was anything else it was in his room and I didn’t dare to enter. Maybe when I was ready, it would be a sign that I was starting to feel better.

A light knock interrupted my dig and it opened a second later. Phil’s face appeared in the crack.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

He entered and sat down next to me,

“I’m sorry about earlier.”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t mean to make you upset. It’s just a lot and I don't know how to handle it? Is this the stuff Ernest gave you?”

“It’s okay,” I leaned into him. “What did my teachers say?”

“They all got it. They said that it’s good for you to take some time to be with your family.”

“Dad worked from home today.”

“I know. I saw he took over the dinner table. Is he watching a church service?”

“Pastor Nolan brought some DVD’s over when he brought over the dinners. I think it makes him feel better.”

Dad appeared in the doorway where Phil was moments before and knocked quietly.

“Want some dinner, you two?”

“Sure.”

The dinner was good; chicken with potatoes and green beans. I barely had the energy to chew.

“Aoife?”

“Yes, dad?”

“Do you want to stay home from school for a few days?”

I choked on my food.

“Do I want to do what?”

“Stay home. Your mom and I talked this morning. She wants you to continue your practices and assignments but I can’t help but think it might be best if you stay home for a little while. I went to work today and couldn’t sit still. I needed to be here. I thought maybe we could hang out. You could do your homework while I do my work and then we could just spend some time together.”

“I… yeah,” I breathed out, at least over the shock of my fathers suggestion. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

“You can come over whenever, as long as it’s not during school,” dad said to Phil. “To be honest you’re as much of a child to me as my children are and were. It’s nice to have you around.”

“That’s very nice of you to offer. I know nothing about the math I’m supposed to be learning so I’ll probably come over and beg Aoife to teach me.”

We dissolved into a little forced laughter and continued to eat, the food tasting more like food than bland mush. My phone beeped and I jumped a bit before continuing to eat.

“Aren’t you going to get that?” dad asked.

“But it’s the dinner table.”

“You can read it if you want.”

Phil:

i have THOUGHTS about what is happening rn

“Anything interesting?” dad asked as I looked up.

“Just a spam email,” I mumbled as Phil put his phone back in his pocket and patted my leg.

“Do you all have homework tonight?”

“Yeah. We’ll go do that in a little bit.”

“What were you doing in your room beforehand?”

It was such a weird thing, watching and listening to this new dad in front of me. He had the same curiosity as he and mom always had about what Ernest and I would do, but he was letting me check my phone at the table and encouraging me to take a break and telling me that he loved me. I wasn’t going to complain but still… it was like I had an imposter dad.

“Just listening to Clansmen.”

He nodded and ate, our faces still illuminated by the tall, bespeckled man.

I heard the door open and mom come in right as Phil and I were settling into the basement. Before we got to today’s assignments, we had to talk about dad. Phil was practically bouncing up and down in his seat as I cracked the door so we could snoop on them when the time was right.

“So what are your thoughts?”

“I think he’s realizing that something him and your mom did messed with Ernest.”

“What makes you say that?”

“He’s changing, isn’t he? He’s easing up on you, he’s telling you he loves you… he’s becoming a new dad because he’s afraid if he doesn’t, you might end up like your brother. He’s terrified.”

“You really think so?”

“I do,” Phil flopped around in the old gray bean bag on the floor so he was staring at me upside down. “I don’t think he has any idea of what he’s doing, but I think he’s trying and that’s admirable.”

“What should I do? Is there anything I can do to help him?”

“The next few days, when it’s just the two of you, try and talk to him about life. Talk about things you wouldn’t normally and see what happens. And then report everything back to me.”

“Obviously. The only thing I’m a little worried about is not going around and finding out more from everyone at school.”

“It’s only a few days. You can come back to school next week and resume your detective work. The way you cried after lunch isn’t something that you should keep in. If your mom is going to make it hard for you to grieve, do it when you’re with your dad. Something tells me he won’t make you feel bad for feeling bad.”

“You did what??” we heard from the upstairs and Phil and I immediately clammed up, inching towards the door.

“I told her she could stay home with me for the rest of the week. I’ll make sure all of her work gets done, trust me. She can work while I’m working.”

“I thought we agreed that it’s best if she keeps a normal routine; if we keep a normal routine. I didn’t even know you were home today! What were you doing? Did you cook?”

“Pastor Nolan brought some food by.”

“And tried to make you go back to services, right?”

“No. He brought some DVD’s that I put on as I was finishing my work. Aoife called halfway through the day and asked to be picked up.”

“And you actually did it? What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that she hasn’t been given the time to feel sad yet, Mandy! None of us have. It’s just a few days before the weekend and then she’ll go back and see her teachers again. She needs time. This isn’t something that we just put behind us. This is huge.”

“So why is it that I can go back to work but she can’t go back to school?”

“Because she’s seventeen. She’s still learning how to handle things! Hell, I’m fifty and I’m not even sure how to handle this.”

“Well-.”

“Please don’t make this all about you. Please. People process grief in different ways and I don’t think we should force our daughter to go to school when there’s still so much going on and so much to figure out. Are we going to cremate him? Are we having a funeral? Does your family even know? Or are you so ashamed that your son killed himself that you are keeping it all inside. That’s not healthy, Mandy.”

“How dare you assume I’m ashamed of him.”

“How dare I? Really? You’re asking me this after you talked about his future like he was some sort of idiot? You sat around, talking about how you were expecting him to not do well; you sat around talking about how he was a poor representation of your parenting abilities. It’s like I said when we got back from the hospital… this kind of thing doesn’t just happen. There are reasons Ernest felt like he couldn’t go on living. Maybe we need to accept the fact that we didn’t do the best we could. Maybe we need to consider that we didn’t parent him right.”

“And what about Aoife? She’s doing just fine!”

“When has she ever said anything other than she’s fine? Maybe we conditioned her to say that even when she’s not! I’m not going to lose her too!”

The sounds of my mothers heels on the hardwood floor echoed in the basement as I listened to her cross the kitchen and open the fridge.

“I’m not going to deal with this anymore,” she said in that tone that sent chills down my spine every time. “I’m going to shower and go to bed. What you do this week is your own business, I guess. But don’t go thinking that we did a bad job.”

“But we did.”

“We did not. Remember when we first met and we realized that we agreed on parenting style down to a tee? I loved that about us. What’s happened to change you?”

“I no longer have a son. That’s what happened. I just thought maybe you’d change a little too. I thought his life meant more to you than proof you could raise acceptable children. Ernest wasn’t a project; he wasn’t an experiment. He was a human being and we don’t have him anymore.”

I screwed my eyes shut at the sound of my dad’s voice fracturing and my mom’s work shoes ascending the stairs to their room, tears leaking from my eyelids.

“What’s happening?” I whispered.

“Grief,” Phil whispered back.

[carebear102279]

secrets

Sylvie and antonio were starting over. The feelings that they had, were still there. The sparks began again at the hospital. Their undeniable chemistry created fireworks. Both of them enjoyed reconnecting. But they were also trying to keep their new relationship a secret. Something they both were enjoying. Antonio had spent the night at sylvie's apartment. But with her roommates, definitely played into the trill of keeping secrets. Antonio woke up with sylvie in his arms. "Good morning baby." He kissed her head. Sylvie was running her hand over his chest. "Good morning antonio." Antonio "when do you gotta leave for work? Meaning when do cruz and otis leave?" Sylvie "you mean you want to know when you can sneak out? I could go ask them." Antonio stopped her by wrapping his arms around her. "That would be great babe, but you might want to take a look at your neck." Sylvie grabbed a mirror she kept at her bedside table. "Antonio Dawson, seriously?!?!" Antonio "Ssshhhhh babe. Unless you want to alert the guards." Sylvie "sorry. But antonio I work with your sister. I didn't leave any marks on your neck. But you might want to check your chest." Antonio took the mirror from her. "Well at least I can cover mine with a shirt. Look I'm sorry I gave you.....let's see 1,2,3,4,5 hickeys, on your neck." Antonio said with a smirk on his face. There was a knock at the door. Cruz "hey brett, we're leaving to run some errands before work. Do you want to ride with us?" Sylvie buried her head into antonio's chest to stop from laughing. Cruz "hey brett, are you awake?" Sylvie "ummm cruz, I'll drive myself to work. I need to take a shower first, that's if you and otis haven't used all the hot water." Cruz "no, there's hot water. See you at 51 brett." Sylvie looked out her window to check if they were leaving. Seeing them drive away "ok antonio they're gone." Antonio "well since eva was at a friends house last night. I brought a change of clothes for work. So we have time to take a shower, together?" Sylvie "well......since we've got to conserve on the hot water. But I get the water first." She kissed him, grabbed her robe and ran to the bathroom. Antonio chuckled to himself "whatever you say babe." Sylvie "smart man." After the shower antonio made breakfast. Since sylvie had to use makeup to cover up her hickeys on her neck. Sylvie walked out to the kitchen. "Well that took forever. Thanks for that antonio dawson." Antonio handed her a to go cup of coffee, kissed her "you're so welcome. I had to make sure to scare other men off." Sylvie "I'm not worried about other men. Your sister is my partner. She's already suspicious. Plus my roommates are on a mission, finding out who I may be seeing. Plus all this sneaking around is definitely hot." Antonio kissed her deeply "I don't want to leave. But you have to drive me to my car, if we're late people will definitely ask questions." Sylvie "ok fine. I just need to bring my concealer with, just in case. Next time your neck is mine." She planted kisses on his neck. Antonio moaned "ok babe now you're tormenting me." Sylvie "you love every second of this." Sylvie dropped antonio off at his car. They kissed each other. Antonio "text me when it's safe to call you." Sylvie "ok. Be safe today." Antonio kissed her one last time "you be safe today too." Antonio watched her drive away. The trill of them sneaking around, keeping secrets. Made him feel like a teenager again, with his first time in love. 'Love?' Ok he wasn't ready to admit these feelings. Sylvie arrived at work. Putting her things in her locker. Leaned against her locker, thinking about last night. God her love for that man. Wait, the L word again. She wasn't ready to admit to those feelings. Her phone beeped. It was antonio. "Hey babe, last night was amazing." Sylvie texted back "most definitely, last night was incredible." Gabby "hey sylvie, you're finally here." Sylvie jumped "Dam gabby you scared the hell out of me." Gabby "so, who are you texting?" Sylvie "no one important." Gabby "ok sure brett, whatever you say." Antonio had arrived at the station. He read sylvie's text message, which made him smile. Thinking about last night. Trudy "so antonio who has you looking this happy today?" Antonio was startled by trudy's questions " no one. It's just a nice day." Trudy "ok sure antonio." Antonio went upstairs to intelligence. It was going to be a long day. Knowing trudy, she wasn't going to let up. Plus she'll call mouch. Antonio sat at his desk, took out his phone. He sent sylvie a text. "Hey just wanted to let you know trudy is suspicious. You texted me, which made me smile. Trudy asked who had put a smile on my face. I'm thinking she's going to talk to mouch." Sylvie was coming back to 51 from a call, when her phone vibrated. Sylvie read the message "oh crap!" Gabby "something wrong?" Sylvie "ummm no. Just family stuff." Gabby "ok sylvie, ever since the whole thing with my dad. You've been acting weird, so is my brother. Now you want to tell me what the hell is going on." Sylvie "nothing is going on gabby. It was just weird seeing your brother." Gabby "ok, sure brett. Come to molly's tonight after work. I'm not taking no for an answer." Sylvie "ok, I'll go." Back at 51 sylvie was relaxing on the couch, when cruz sat down on one side. Otis sat down on the other side of sylvie. Sylvie "did you boys need something?" Cruz "so brett, are you seeing anyone lately?" Otis "what cruz means, who is your new boyfriend?" Cruz "hhhmmmm, tell us." Sylvie "Look we're roommates, friends. But I'm not seriously dating anyone. Look I am going to get ready to go home. I'll see you at molly's later." In her car sylvie texted antonio "hi, just wanted to let you know your sister insisted I go to molly's tonight. Plus I've been grilled by gabby, cruz and otis." Antonio "ok, maybe I'll see you at molly's later. Eva is at her mom's this weekend. I have off this weekend and I know you have off too." Sylvie called antonio from her car, the one place there weren't ears. Sylvie "just wanted to hear your voice." Antonio "well that's a good thing." Antonio had eyes on him at work. Rusek was looking at him with a grin on his face. Sylvie "about this weekend, well I'm all yours. Just remember your neck is mine." Antonio rubbed his neck. "Ok. I'll be leaving work soon. So I'll talk to you later. Sylvie "you have eyes on you." Antonio "yes." Sylvie "well I'll leave you with this thought. Clothing optional this weekend. See you later, at molly's?" Antonio "I'll be there." Antonio was getting uncomfortable sitting. Kim "ok antonio out with it, who was that?" Antonio "no one important." Kim "yah right, antonio. I know something is up. Do you have a new girlfriend?" Antonio "no I don't have a new girlfriend." Which technically wasn't a lie, after all sylvie wasn't a new girlfriend. "Look I'll see you at molly's later." Sylvie had put on a pair of antonio's favorite jeans. Then a sleeveless turtleneck. Plus a pair of her black boots. Along with a leather jacket. Her hair was done in soft curls. Arriving at molly's, she saw antonio was there already. Antonio saw sylvie walk in and sit down at the bar. Damn she knew exactly what she was doing to him. Sylvie "so I'm here gabby." Gabby winked at sylvie and then looked at her brother. "Ok sylvie drinks are on me tonight." Sylvie was sitting for about a half hour, she felt someone sit next to her. She looked over, it was Dr. Pete Calhoun. Pete " Sylvie, I just want to talk to you." Sylvie "I'm not interested, go home to your wife!" Pete "I thought we had a connection. Look my wife doesn't understand me." Sylvie "of course she doesn't. She doesn't know that you are an unfaithful jack ass!! So get the hell out of my bar, if you value your safety." Sylvie knew antonio was watching her. Gabby "so if it isn't Dr Sleezy." Pete "Look this doesn't concern you. I'm trying to have a conversation with sylvie." Gabby laughed, a laugh like you better get the hell out of here. "Look you need to leave my bar, yes I'm one of the owners. Or I'll have you thrown out of here." By then everyone was watching this drama unfold. Pete made the mistake of grabbing sylvie's hand. That's when sylvie threw her drink in his face. That's when Pete slapped sylvie across her face. Before sylvie could react, Pete was forcibly grabbed off of her by antonio. Antonio punched him right in the face. Before antonio could do anymore damage, jay stepped in. Pete "who the hell do you think you are, assaulting me. I should call the police." Antonio "no need to." Antonio took out his badge. "Everyone saw you hit sylvie. Also I know who exactly you are. Does your wife know who you are?" Pete "what gives you the right to interfere in my personal life!" Antonio "because you will not hurt sylvie again. If you do you are going to have to deal with me, not just as a cop." Pete "so what the hell does that make you then!" Antonio looked at sylvie, sylvie nodded. Antonio put his arm around her. "Because sylvie is my girlfriend and I will protect her from whoever decides to hurt her. Now get the hell out of here, before your wife finds out the truth." Jay and Kelly threw him out of the bar. Gabby handed sylvie a cold wet washcloth. Antonio took it and gently applied it to her was. Antonio "are you ok?" Sylvie put her hand on his face "yes I'm ok. But my face is going to bruise." Antonio "well I'll be with you all weekend, so I'll take care of you." Cruz and otis came up to them, both of them smiling. Cruz "I knew it! Hurt her again and you are going to get hurt." Otis "same here." Sylvie "All right you both have made your point. So back off, I'm a big girl. I can make my own decisions." Gabby looked at both of them "Seriously you both didn't have me fooled. The only time I have seen you both this happy, was when you were together the first time. Although spare me any details, I don't need any nightmares." Antonio was looking at sylvie. Sylvie was looking at antonio. They both spoke at the same time, not looking at gabby "uh-huh sure gabby, whatever." Gabby "you two make me sick." She poured herself a shot. Antonio put down the washcloth, held her face gently. And kissed her softly right in front of everyone. She kissed him back. Antonio "you want to get out of here?" Sylvie smiled "lead the way. I'm all yours this weekend." Gabby "Seriously you two, yuck! Come on there are other people right here!" Antonio had his arm around sylvie as they walked out of molly's. "Antonio we'll get my car later. Just let me grab my bag." Antonio "sounds like a plan." He kissed her one more time before they drove away.

[uwandapieceofme]

Penny Dreadful

My love for things is few and far between, but when I feel it, it is felt deeply and passionately. I often go weeks or months, sometimes years, without returning to some favorite film, television show, or book, but when I do, I am reminded of just how special it is to me. Once more, the passion ignites and I remember; just when I was starting to wonder if I had not raised this piece of art to some too-high pedestal, just so I might have something to praise. After all, I am so oft consumed with apathy and listlessness that I cannot focus on any one thing for an extended period of time. I begin one film, show, or book, drop it within a matter of ten minutes, or a chapter or two in, and pick up something else, which is similarly discarded. It’s difficult for me to give myself over to anything when I feel so inadequate; anything I do take in seems proof of that, the characters, even if in a similar state of mind, finding themselves able-- either with the help of friends, family, or their own unfailing willpower-- to pull themselves from their stupor and set about living.

I find now that it needn’t be so. Instead of punishing myself for not being as these pathetic characters, and rising above my own self-loathing, I can see that they, too, have once been there, unable to see the end of the tunnel. It was only through the help of someone else, by some enlightening moment, or simply sheer refusal to endure their suffering any longer, that they were able to rise up and get on. Though I now feel helpless, unable to wrest myself from the clutches of my own melancholy, if I keep my eyes open, keep an ear to the door, I, too, can find my moment. I, too, can break free.

Take Miss Vanessa Ives, played by Eva Green in the Showtime series Penny Dreadful. At the beginning of season three, she is shown holed up in her home, furniture covered over in sheets, windows shuttered up, dishes piling up in the sink as flies buzz about overhead, flourishing in the dusty, stale air. When she can be persuaded by her friend, Mr. Lyle, to visit a therapist, her present condition is further illuminated. She has not left the house in some time, eating poorly, not taking care of herself, and avoiding mirrors, the shame at her sorry state making her unable to face herself. She ignores friends who might be able to help her; in a letter to Sir Malcolm at the end of the episode, she admits to having lied in her previous correspondence, telling him all was well when it was not.

Sitting upstairs in my parents’ house, shrouded in a blanket so as to cover my own shame as I ate junk food without enjoying it, smelling my own sweat and fearing the moment when my mother would return home and I would have to hide away, once more, in my sister’s room, I felt guilty. Why could I not be like Miss Ives? She was shown to have been in a similar state, though certainly her life to that date had been more eventful than mine, full of wonderful things of which she could be proud, lovers come and gone, battles fought, kindness shown to those ignored by others. Besides which, she was thinner and prettier than I should ever be, and more monied, too.

In this episode, too, we see Victor Frankenstein, who is alone after having found himself ridiculed by his cousin, Lily, who has now found a better, more suitable companion in Dorian Gray, who is a match to her strength and intellect. He has given himself over completely to his addictions, seeming himself to, rarely if ever, leave his home. His arms are bruised, needle marks running up and down. He has no purpose, now that he has accomplished his goal of bringing the dead back to life, and seen the horrifying consequences of his actions. He seems to believe he must live and suffer, refusing to take his own life when, in Madame Kali’s castle, his creatures surround him and make plain the truth of what he has done. If I miss the point, and it was not that he chose a life of suffering over suicide, well, kill me. But that is how I took it and I found it very relatable indeed.

He is, however, also pulled from his stupor by an old friend, Doctor Jekyll, who convinces Victor he can still get Lily back. As I have yet to get to episode two, this is as far as I can tell you, but at the end of it, he is still quite pathetic and doesn’t seem too terribly hopeful.

Having been able to force myself to leave the house, if only to venture to my only safe refuge away from home, the library, I was able to put some distance between myself and the self-loathing that is so oft my companion. I saw a new way of viewing the show, which is one of only a handful I can profess to love, no matter how long I go before revisiting it. It speaks of one’s inner demons, which is certainly something I am fascinated by. I often feel my life is my animal urges and nothing else, that I haven’t the ability to go beyond them. And yet, I do not fully give in to them. Thus, I find myself in a demimonde, to use the parlance of the show, neither shadow nor light. I cannot be all cruelty, or otherwise give in, unabashedly, to my darkest impulses. On the other hand, I feel wholly incapable of joining society, the thought of getting a regular job and making friends and adhering to certain standards of appearance too horrifying to contemplate. There is something in me, it seems, that wants desperately to be a part of that, but knows that it is not true to who I am, and besides, is incapable of playing the game, so it feels left out. I try to shun it, tell myself I do not really want it anyway, but avoiding it altogether is not the answer. I say it is nothing to me but I fear it, cower always from its judgment.

So, too, Vanessa wants a normal life but believes herself incapable now of having it. She sees that it is not the life she is destined to lead. However, without that desire to keep one going, that of God to keep her thinking that there is purpose to everything, she becomes depressed. How can she keep on, if the driving force that kept her going thus far has now ceased to work? So, too, if being like everyone else and having their success has shown not to bring happiness, if I find in myself a fault that keeps me from being as I think I must be to be deserving of love, then what do I live for? Especially when I feel I cannot remove myself from society, as John Clare. I tried, for a brief spell, only to realize that the pressures would still be there at the close of my journey, and that the real problem was within, not without.

So if one cannot remove oneself completely from society, and too, cannot live truly and honestly whilst adhering to its rules, how does one live at all? That is the answer I cannot possibly know, at least not now. I believe, however, that the characters of Penny Dreadful, might be able to impart some wisdom, if not at least show me a few possible paths. If nothing else then, surely, they can be my companions as I venture to figure it out for myself, knowing always that I am not alone in my feelings and my struggles, and wherever I may now find myself, I will not always be here, and if I keep my eyes open, even as deliverance today feels impossible, tomorrow I might find my strength, whether in myself, my family, or a fictional character.

[meganmackenzie11]

Unexpected Family Reunion

This will be a Brett family reunion. Antonio and Sylvie are back together.

~*~*~*~*~

Things have been amazing since Antonio and I got back together. It’s been about 5 months and it’s even better then the first time around, which I didn’t even think was possible. I’ve gotten to know Eva a lot better as well, considering she’s now living with Antonio. 

I am currently sitting on my bed at the firehouse, my 24 hour shift nearly coming to an end. I at least managed to get a couple of hours sleep, which given the night we had, I didn’t think would be possible. I am currently texting Antonio making plans for breakfast, when I see a text appear from my brother, Tristan. 

Tristan: Hey sis! The family and I are in Chicago. Let us know when you can meet up!

Huh?! Tristan and the rest of my family are in town, today?! I’m not incredibly close with my family, my dad was a Navy Seal which meant he was always coming and going and my mum and I never really got along. I feel like she always resented me because I was adopted (my dad was the one who adopted me from an orphanage in Russia). And not only is their arrival surprising, Antonio and I had plans tonight. 

I never really thought too much about Antonio meeting my family. Not only because we’re not close, but we agreed after the disaster at his parents 40th wedding anniversary, we would avoid family reunions for as long as possible. Then of course, there was the whole thing with Laura which caused our break up and now we’ve only been back together for 5 months. 

I get off my bed and see Gabby isn’t in hers. I walk into the kitchen and there she is, eating some cereal. I walk over and sit down and she looks up from the magazine she was reading and smiles. 

“Can’t sleep either?” She asks and I shake my head.

“My family is in town.” I blurt out and she looks at me confused.

“And that’s a bad thing because?” She asks.

“I’m not really close to my family. Well, I’m sort of close to my brother and my dad, but my mum and I have had this weird relationship my entire life. Also, I’m meant to be going out with Antonio tonight and the family want to see me, as soon as I get off shift.” I explain.

“And you’re nervous about Antonio meeting your family because?” She asks.

“My family don’t have filters. They say what they want, when they want and care very little for other’s feelings. I mean, Antonio would probably get along with my dad, he’s an ex Navy Seal and Cop, they have law enforcement in common. But, I’m 99.9% sure, my mum and I will end up arguing about something and it will end in disaster.” I admit.

“Come on Sylvie, it can’t be as bad as my parent’s 40th wedding anniversary.” Gabby laughs, however stops when she sees my face. “If your mum really that bad?”

“She’s like a leech. She sucks the life out of you.” I say.

“Your going out to breakfast with Antonio in a couple of hours, Let him decide if he wants to come.” Gabby advises and I nod.

The next couple of hours go by fast and soon enough, I am walking out of the firehouse with Gabby and Matt. I see Antonio’s truck and say goodbye, before climbing, automatically smiling when I see him. 

“Hey.” He greets, leaning over and giving me a kiss.

“Hey.” I greet back, putting my seatbelt on. We drive to our favourite diner, where we always have breakfast after one of my shifts. It’s become like our little tradition. We sit down and order our food.

“How was your shift?” He asks.

“Hectic, but I managed to get a couple of hours sleep, so that’s good.” I reply and he nods agreeing. Our food comes and we tuck in and that’s when I remember about my family. “So.”

“So?” He says back.

“My family is in town. I got a text from my younger brother Tristan a couple of hours ago. They want to meet up tonight.” I simply say.

“You sound very unsure about that.” He realises.

“I’m not close with them. I mean I can have a conversation with my dad and my brother, sure, but my mum is a different story. And I know we have plans tonight.” I remind him.

“Sylvie we can always make plans another night, your family haven’t seen you in what a year?” He guesses.

“Longer. They’ve only come to see me once since I’ve been in Chicago and that’s almost 4 years now.” I correct him and he nods. 

“And let me guess, you’re nervous about me potentially meeting them?” He guesses. God, these are times I hate that he is a detective.

“I’m not that nervous about you meeting my dad. I think you guys will have a lot in common, my brother’s cool, but it’s my mother who is the one I dread you meeting. None of them have filters, especially her and she doesn’t make it any secret, Tristan is her favourite child.” I comment, eating more of my pancakes.

“How about we invite them to dinner tonight? That way we still get our night out and I get to meet your family. Don’t worry, I deal with criminals for a living, I think I can handle your mother.” He jokes.

“It’s not you I’m worried about.” I reply.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I text Tristan back, letting him know what restaurant to meet us at. Antonio and I have just got here and I’m extremely nervous for this dinner, however Antonio looks as cool as a cucumber. Obviously sensing my nervousness, Antonio grabs my hand and with his thumb, starts moving it in circles, a movement and gesture that has come to put me at ease more then anything.

The door opens and I immediately notice my brother’s tall, slightly built frame and light brown hair. Behind him, is my dad, whose grey hair is clearly visible and then there’s my mother, who looks like she hasn’t aged a day over 35. 

“Vee!” My brother exclaims, walking over and hugging me. “It’s been too long.” He says.

“Yeah. T, this is my boyfriend Antonio, Antonio this is my little brother Tristan.” I introduce and they shake hands.

“Nice to meet you.” Antonio says.

“Likewise.” Tristan replies and I then hug my dad, Stan. I introduce him to Antonio and they shake hands and then I look to my mother, who makes no attempt to hug me whatsoever. 

“Antonio, this is my mother, Daisy. Mum this is Antonio.” I introduce and they shake hands. We all take out seats, me sitting between Antonio and Tristan, my dad next to Antonio and then my mum. 

As expected, my dad and Antonio immediately start talking about my dad’s days in the Navy and as a cop, as well as Antonio’s. Tristan pitches in here and there, however my mum and I remain silent, having nothing to talk about, or so I hope not, we’ve only been here 10 minutes, Finally my dad turns his attention to me, smile plastered across his face.

“Well it’s good seeing you Vee! Tell me when are you going to come back to Indiana, a lot of folks have been asking about you?” He asks.

“I’m not sure. Work is crazy over here.” I admit and he nods understanding, before looking back at Antonio.

“Did Sylvie ever tell you, we adopted her?” My dad asks.

“You adopted her you mean.” My mum speaks up and I can immediately feel the tension, however Antonio relieves it.

“No she didn’t.” Antonio responds.

“I was working a mission in a city called Sochi, Russia and I came across this little girl, no more then 4 years old, walking the streets and that was Sylvie. I asked her, where her parents were and she said she didn’t have any, she lived in an orphanage, 15 minutes away. So, I walked her back and I realised when I was about to hand her over, I couldn’t. So, I adopted her there and then we changed her name from Ekaterina Dobrev to Sylvie Brett. Then I realised, I forgot to tell the Mrs, who was 2 months pregnant with Tristan.” My dad says and everyone laughs but my mum. 

“I bet dad was happy he brought Vee home. She was always into the stuff he liked more then me. I was a computer nerd.” Tristan explains.

“You still are.” I tease.

“Imagine my surprise when she wanted to become a paramedic.” My dad comments.

“A waste of an education if I do say so myself.” Mum says.

“I’m going to have to disagree with that.” Antonio says and her head snaps up. “I’ve seen Sylvie at work, she’s incredible. Every single patient she has in the back of that ambulance, probably wouldn’t make it to the hospital alive if it weren’t for her treating them beforehand.” 

For the remainder of the dinner, she remains quiet and soon enough we all say goodnight and go our separate ways. I link arms with Antonio and lean my head on his shoulder.

“Thank you.” I say.

“For what?” He asks.

“Having my back. You didn’t have to.” I comment and he shakes his head, stopping wrapping his arms around me.

“Yes, I did. You’re my girlfriend, I won’t let anyone underestimate you or speak to you like that, even if it is your mother. I’m always going to have your back.” He says.

“And I’m always going to have yours.” I respond back and lean up kissing him