#it has legitimately been so long since i last posted that i forgot how to enter a read more tab. wow. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

noperopesaredope · 1 year

Text

SvtFoE Rhombulus Rewrite (Pt. 5)

Me: *Falls from the ceiling and onto to floor*

Me: “Hey my amazing Chimeras, it’s been a hot minute, huh? About...” *Checks calender before ripping it up* “......at least a day.”

Sorry I’ve been gone for so long. I wrote the first few parts a while back during a week or so long hyperfixation spree before hopping to something else. But I’m mostly back now! Still might take a bit to get some of the other parts out, since planning the episodes out has been a bit of a challenge, and that will also be the case for the other parts. But I’m gonna try my best because I legitimately like this AU I’ve created and feel that the people who enjoy it deserve an ending. I can’t just create a character arc and not go through with it, after all! *Side-eyes the OG show*

So, this is Part 2 of Season 4 for my Rhombulus Rewrite! Thank you so much to everyone who has liked, reblogged, and followed along with all my past posts describing this AU thus far. If you do enjoy this AU, then please remember to like all of those posts! Now, I need to explain something important before getting on with the rest of this thing: I have two potential endings for Season 4 in my Rhombulus rewrite. That’s why I will be making a Part 6, which will have one of the alternate endings (this ending I have dubbed “Closest to Canon”), and then a Part 7, which will have the other, slightly more fun and good ending (this ending has been dubbed “Canon is My B*tch Now”). This post will be a continuation of the previous one, but the endings will split off at “Mama Star”. Hope you enjoy this part!

Season 4 (Part 2):

- So I forgot to add something important to my last part of the rewrite. Well, okay, the particular episode isn’t all that important, but the part I’m adding might be a bit important. So, as I said in my last post, in “Between a Rock and a Hard Place” (an episode that I made), it is revealed the the MHC basically want Rhombulus to spy on Eclipsa, so I decided to add some stuff to actually show that a bit, starting with “The Ponyhead Show!”

- Rhombulus might offer to host a small segment on the show as an excuse to follow Eclipsa around. In the background during certain scenes, we might be able to see Rhombulus hiding behind things or sneakily taking notes during Eclipsa scenes. He’ll also seem a bit nervous around he, probably due to feeling guilty about spying on her.

- Back to the actually ones that I should be talking about.

- I was not planning to add Rhombulus into “Cornball!”, but oh my god, I’m so glad I did. This isn’t even really gonna be a Rhombulus episode, but it’s gonna have some stuff for him in it. First off, he decides to check out the cornball match because 1) Star asked if he wanted to come and he had nothing else to do, 2) he really likes cornball, and 3) he was curious to see how this Monster-Mewman intergrated teams cornball match would go. He realizes he doesn’t really have a strong understanding of Monster-Mewman relations and wants to learn more about the whole mess, especially since he and the MHC are so highly involved in it.

- Rhombulus tries to find a seat, but some monsters recognize him and choose to avoid him. He then tries to sit near some Mewmans, but is not fully recognized and is seen as a monster. This is the first time Rhombulus has ever fully experienced what it’s like to be a monster in Mewni, and it shakes him a bit at how cold and even cruel Mewmans can be. This whole sequence is done without Rhombulus ever saying a word.

- He decides to just sit somewhere by himself behind the statium, when a small monster girl appears next to him and compliments his snake tails, saying they look cool. Rhombulus awkwardly thanks her, and compliments her tail as well.

- He then asks where the kid’s parents are (as this child is extremely small and should not be alone). The child casually responds that her mama is dead. This is a very awkward thing to hear, so Rhombulus carefully asks where her dad is. The child says “he got crystalized. I haven’t seen him in years, and I’m pretty sure I’m never gonna see him again. I miss him a lot.”

- Rhombulus softly asks why her dad got crystalized. She says that she doesn’t know. She and her auntie tried to find out, but they were denied. But whatever it was, she knows her papa is innocent, and someday, she’ll save him.

- This is important. Very, very important.

- One important thing about Rhombulus is that since he represents childhood, he is really great at getting along with little kids. So he asks if she wants to do something else besides sit around.

- The little girl jumps up at this, and she takes him over to meet her friends, who are joining in on the match. She asks if he wants to play too. Rhombulus says he’d rather just watch, but that he’ll cheer her on. She nods and runs off to join the game.

- As he watches the kids play, Star might ask Rhombulus what he thinks of all this. He pauses a moment before saying “kids are wiser than adults, aren’t they?” Star agrees.

- Before he leaves, Rhombulus asks the little girl what her name is, and she says that her name is Alita. He asks her what her dad looks like, and she tells him. Rhombulus then tells Alita that he knows the guy who crystalizes people, and maybe he can talk to him and see if they can let her dad go. Alita asks him to promise he’ll get her papa home as soon as possible if he gets freed. He pinky swears, and they part ways. This will come up again later.

- So I included Reynaldo in my all new original episode; “Between a Rock and a Hard Place”. And because he’s in “Meteora’s Lesson”, I might as well talk a bit about that. There is a chance Reynaldo will mention that Rhombulus visited, which Glossaryck will only barely react to, saying that he’s not surprised. Reynaldo also mentions that it’d be nice if Glossaryck came to visit him every once in a while, but Glossaryck basically waves it off. :(

- Rhombulus and Star will not get into a fight during “Junkin Janna”, and Rhombulus will actually appear to feel bad for wasting Star and Eclipsa’s time, and won’t be accusatory towards Eclipsa. So that’s that episode.

- I also decided to add a change that is both major and minor, because as you will see this season, I am changing more than just Rhombulus. Sure, I’m not gonna change everything that I don’t like about Season 4 or feel like they should have changed, but I decided to use this opprotunity to make a few things just a little bit better in my eye.

- This is that change: Kelly and Marco will not break up. Now, I will explain this decision more in my rewriting of the climax/finale, but I just want to stop the shipping drama and change things up a bit, as well as make most fans a bit happier in the process. Kelly was done dirty and deserves better. Starco ended up being a mess and it ended up ruining the impact of the finale for me. So I decided, why not just keep Kelco together?

- The next episode Rhombulus appears in is the extremely important “Cornonation” of course! Now, for this episode, a lot of things will stay the same and a lot of things will be different, particularly the ending.

- While the first half of the episode will remain mostly the same, little details all throughout it will be different.

- First off, Rhombulus won’t get very accusatory of Eclipsa. In fact, he might at some point take the rest of the MHC aside to try and convince them that Eclipsa is innocent. Hekapoo says that there is no way she isn’t the one who did it. Rhombulus swears that he’s been keeping an eye on her the whole day, and at no point did he see Eclipsa try to free Globgor.

- Hekapoo insists that there are no other person it could possibly be, so they will still need to keep an eye on her, which Rhombulus is very reluctant about.

- While guarding her, Rhombulus (while stroking his tails and looking away no less🤔) tells Eclipsa that, for the record, he thinks she’s innocent. She looks at him a bit funny, but thanks him. He also lets Star talk to Eclipsa alone with no questions asked.

- When Star comes back with Globgor, Rhombulus looks kinda nervous and afraid. Rather than Rhombulus proudly declaring that he will crystalize Globgor, Omni will prompt Rhombulus to perform the crystalization process, which he will be slightly reluctant about.

- While Eclipsa and Globgor see each other again and have that cute moment, Hekapoo will say “all right, enough stalling. Rhombulus, crystalize her.” Rhombulus will panic for a second, before starting to crystalize her, causing Globgor to break out, and the whole fight thing will ensue, with all that stuff being mostly the same.

- When Globgor says that the MHC can crystalize him, as long as they let his family go, Rhombulus will hesitate at this, clearly conflicted, before slowly aiming at Globgor. That’s when River inturrupts and makes the whole small speech about being a dad.

- Omni and Hekapoo protest this, saying that Eclipsa needs to be imprisoned for her crimes. But, in a surprising turn of events, Rhombulus speaks up against this, saying that the MHC (including himself) are pretty bad judges, and probably shouldn’t have a say in this. Plus, he’s pretty sure Eclipsa didn’t do it.

- Omni says that it is their duty to imprison the couple, but Rhombulus reminds them that actually, that’s RHOMBULUS’S job, and only he has the power to crystalize people. And he refuses to use it on them without at least giving them a fair trial or something like that.

- Everyone is slightly shooketh, and there is a pause until Eclipsa suggests letting the people decide. Then the whole scene plays out mostly the same, and it all pretty much works out. Omni and Hekapoo are a little moody about it, but accept this.

- After the cornonation, Globgor approaches Rhombulus in private room away from prying ears to ask him a small, simple question: “Why did you free me?” Rhombulus nervously chuckles, asking if he meant why he didn’t recrystalize him during the Cornonation.

- Globgor says no, and that Rhombulus knows what he really means. Rhombulus denies this at first, but he’s never really been good at lying, and Globgor pushes him into confessing that yes, he was the one to set free Globgor at the Monster Temple.

- Rhombulus admits he’s made mistakes in the past, and there’s probably a lot of people he unjustly imprisoned. He realized this recently and felt really bad about it, and because of his impulsive nature, while standing in the Monster Temple, without thinking, he decided to free Globgor. What was the worst that could happen? As soon as Globgor stormed off, Rhombulus immediately began to regret his decision, but didn’t know what to do about it. So he didn’t say anything.

- Globgor understands this, and thanks him for reuniting him with his family, even if it all ended up a little messy.

- I’m not exactly sure how to end “Cornonation”, but pretend I wrote down a good ending to the episode. Maybe some Mina foreshadowing or something. I’m such a good writer. Totally not just telling people to finish the rest themselves. Amazing. Fantastic. I’ll win all the awards.

- Instead of “Britta’s Tacos”, we should have gotten an episode centered around Tom and his trip, which will explain his decision to break up with Star. Wouldn’t come to the conclusion that he should break up with her, but would come to the conclusions that lead up to him choosing to break up with her. I’d like an episode like that. But I’m not gonna write it down, because I feel like someone else should do it. Still, pretend that in this AU, that episode exists.

- Sidenote: The B-Plot to that episode would be Marco coming back to Earth to introduce Kelly to his family, and maybe Star comes along? During that, we can catch up with the characters we left behind on Earth. The joke about Mariposa being a Starco baby will not happen, because ew wtf.

- “Gone Baby Gone” is a cute episode. But it is also expendable. Which is why I shall be replacing it with a different wholesome episode centered around Rhombulus character growth and also Alita. I’m not sorry.

- This new episode is called “Crystal Children”. The synopsis for this episode would probably be “Rhombulus follows through on a promise.” That’s basically the episode in a way. But it’s also so much more than that. It’s the near completion of his whole arc up to this point.

- We start out with Rhombulus talking rapidly in front of a bulletin board that looks more like a conspiracy theorist board. He is talking about ways they could change the justice system in Mewni. This part is a bit short, but very rambling and slightly confusing. He finally says, “so, watcha think?” and we cut to Hekapoo and Omni, who are sitting on chairs as his audience. There is a pause before Hekapoo says “no” while Omni says “absolutely not.” Rhombulus, clearly devestated, exclaims “WHAT?! But why!?!”

- Omni states that Mewni’s current system works perfectly fine, and there is no point in overcomplicating things and changing it. Hekapoo agrees, and Rhombulus is forced to pack up and go home.

- In the next scene, Rhombulus sitting in his lair and looking around at all the frozen monsters, which he feels bad about. He sighs and says “I wish I could free you guys. Then I could make up for everything.” He sits there for a few seconds before popping up and exclaiming “wait! I control the crystals! I can do whatever I want!” He runs over to a crystal and is about to unfreeze it when one of his snakes holds him back and reminds him that it’s probably a bad idea to just randomly unfreeze anyone, and he needs to think more carefully.

- They decide to instead freeze someone that they are much more sure isn’t evil. Rhombulus remembers Anita, and goes to look for her dad. He wanders around the lair for a bit before spotting him. Anita’s dad is admittedly pretty scary looking, and there is a moment where Rhombulus questions if this is really her dad. But he checks around, and it really is him. Rhombulus then has a moment of unsurety about freeing Anita’s dad, but he gathers his resolve and does it anyways.

- Anita’s dad wakes up in flight mode and immediately begins to scramble away from Rhombulus, who is also caught off guard. But Rhombulus manages to calm him down, and explains that he is taking him back to his daughter again.

- They then have a little escape adventure thing together (IDK I don’t have a full plan for this episode and really just wanted to get this post out) in which Rhombulus learns more about monsters and Anita’s dad (who will be named Crelin) learns about Rhombulus.

- It ends with Anita and Crelin being reunited, and Anita thanks Rhombulus for doing the right thing.

So that’s the end of this part! Hopefully my next part will come out soon!

34 notes · View notes

ollyou · 1 year

Note

It's seriously so annoying to see you constantly stir up drama, please stay on twitter. You send your followers after people and even if I block you the entirety of PMTOK rides your dick over everything you say and it's on my fucking feed anyways. Being in a server with you was seriously hell. Not saying who I am, so you get to guess. Get a fucking job. (Still in your server BTW, but I'll leave soon <3)

(Not a genuine response; talking about a silly dream I had under the cut)

I had a dream about us last night where you were this cool artist I admired the art of (who doesn’t exist outside the dream world) who was following me and we DMed each other on Discord all nicely sometimes, but over time you grew increasingly hostile and mean towards me and my art skills until some day after sending this ask, you just DMed me confirming it was you, and blocked me. But for some reason, you were able to keep sending me DMs and I just wasn’t able to respond, and you just kept DMing me ranting about me and how you hate me over and over again every time I thought you were done, but I eventually realized I could just react to your messages with letter emojis, and after a long time of not knowing what to write, spelled out “dummy” (but like, with a weird N emoji for the second M). You then proceeded to explode at me, in shock I would be so “rude” to you, but then I realized I was somehow able to just type full sentences using letter emojis on Discord. I kept writing responses and you read them, although I took a very long time pressing each button, making several spelling errors, but I talked about how I still think your art is cool, but what’s not cool is how randomly rude you started getting to me. I said I liked your Olivia design, which you apparently had, and posted it somewhere you could see (I kinda forgot the details about this one). You saw the drawing, and went silent before you unblocked me without telling me, and sent a transparent edit of the Olivia drawing I made. You said you liked it, and thanked me, and a minute later, it was your profile picture. I was REALLY surprised and confused about your sudden change of heart, but we kept talking for a bit, and somehow got back on good terms. You said you actually don’t mind me now, and want to be friends, so we became friends! We shared PMTOK art with one another and even eventually hung out irl, somehow (everyone I know in my dreams is capable of meeting me irl easily, for some reason). I wound up telling Sega about this, and we were just relieved we had someone who we could respect. I think you might’ve even drawn ME fanart, but I don’t remember!

The end 😇

(OH YEAH ALSO it’s probably worth it to mention i dont send my followers after people nor do i frequently get into drama unless it’s asking someone to take a post involving me or sega down ((MOSTLY TO ART THIEVES)) idk what sort of stuff this anon has been looking for but no one’s left my INACTIVE server i havent checked since January 26, 2023 and im pretty sure this is a troll)

(Oh also also @ anon: if you’re not trolling and want me to give you a legitimate response then just like… DM me dude i dont bite I’d be more than happy to help with whatever problems my existence is causing you /hj? gen? idk LOL just dm me you’ll be fine)

#rambling #negative #only tagging negative bc of the original ask’s content #but i rather enjoyed my dream #sorry for anyone who had this put on their following list posts or whatever LMAO #I didnt want to respond but i thought this was funny

2 notes · View notes

cow-legs · 2 months

Text

Of course it does feel a little silly to make big update posts about how im burned out and am trying to take a break from drawing right in the middle of a time where im uploading new art more relatively consistently than i have in a very long time it feels like but i guess it was still important to make the distinction, between things that i enjoy drawing and can keep doing vs things i dont enjoy doing at all and need to stop immediately, just for my own sake.

Openly telling people "yuuup i'm not going to be drawing anything other than super basic shit from now on for a long time" means that whenever i think of drawing anything post-worthy i know i will feel silly for posting it after saying that, and from there if i still decide to go through with it anyway it was probably something i actually wanted to draw and enjoyed doing while if this thought made me self conscious enough to not go through with it then it was probably something i wanted to draw only due to impulsive obligation rather than something i wanted to spend time making just for the fun of doing it so the spell gets broken. So its a functional enough system, i guess.

&now that this distinction has been made in my brain i can spend more time doing shit i actually enjoy instead of letting it get beaten out by the things i "should" be working on every time

Putting my foot down and going "no, i am not going to keep forcing myself to do detailed clean lineart on even more detailed sketches when i get much more enjoyment out of just doing really rough and simple shit instead" after i have found myself independently coming to realizations about what kinds of art just suck the life out of me over and over again and then just disregarding these realizations every single time to go back to the shit that kills me because "well this is how you normally do it" or "this technically looks nicer, in some aspects" and finally just fucking forcing myself to stop doing that is probably overall more helpful to my mental health than just forcing myself to stop drawing altogether when thats a drastic move that may or may not be the actual solution. Now i am finding and re-learning ways to create things that don't make me feel like i am a walking corpse so i think i will take the feeling of thinking i look a little silly for seemingly disregarding my big life updates over never having found these things out for myself at all any day.

I don't really know why i feel like making update posts in the first place when to be honest i dont think it really matters, people arent paying me for any of this and i stopped feeling "sorry" for "not posting enough" or such things as that a long time ago so it's not like i feel any kind of legitimate need to tell people about what my status is creative-wise. But i guess a large part of it is just that i like talking and have a lot of things to say but for various personal reasons have no desire to post 99% of these thoughts publicly so it's the like rare chance i get to actually start saying shit on any of my art accounts that is actually relevant to the subject at hand without crossing my own boundaries and saying more than i am comfortable with

It is a little weird feeling writing update posts though because i dont really know how to word them in any way that doesnt come off as a fanfic authors note going "sorry its been a whole 20 minutes since the last update i got mugged and all my money was stolen and he broke my leg also but im trying my best to write more despite this" like girl focus on the mugging not this shit. When in reality i actually dont care very much about providing Content as much as the hypothetical fanfic author i just felt the need to say something because why not and didnt know how to word it in a way that makes me not come off like that. which is how you get this i guess. anyway i already forgot what the point of this post was i guess i just wanted to say some shit. which tracks i suppose.

The moral of the story or some shit i guess is that even if you are not doing art as a job it can still end up feeling like one and killing your creative spirit like one would and you need to be able to identify when this is happening and what things you dont actually want to create even though you feel like you "should" so you can kill these practices before they kill you

or something like that

I dont really care about having a point here i wrote this at 2 am

i just like talking

#this post will self destruct

1 note · View note

cyanidefilledcandy · 2 years

Text

Decided to try the ballet class again and actually made it through the entire session this time! 😄✌🏾

Truthfully though, I am struggling....and I don't mean physically (though that IS another annoyance and a big reason I couldn't finish last time). It's mostly mental though.

A big part of it is concentration and memorizing the moves, which has always been an issue when it came to me and ballet, but the older I've gotten the worse it has become. (And yes. Even when I started up again in my early 20s, it had gotten a LOT worse.....and in everything; not just ballet. So it's not something I can simply chalk up to age.) I don't know why, but it's like when she's explaining things and giving advice, it's like my mind just kind of blanks out completely. I can't even say it's wandering because there's nothing else on it besides how I'm trying to listen and it's just like my brain isn't processing any of it. :/

I saw a post on Reddit once and someone mentioned Brain Fog as a symptom of mental illness, you never hear about. And I know if it sounds cliche' these days, but honestly.....I felt so seen. And not alone. And not.....dumb.

A huge huge insecurity of mine is appearing stupid. I know for a fact that I'm not (in fact, when the [redacted] cult tried to recruit me, they mentioned my high IQ). But as a teen, I started getting depersonalization really badly, where I just always felt like I was in a dream. After my grandmother passed away, it's like my mind had woken up or came back to reality, but now it was in a constant fog.....a fog that's continued to day and has only gotten thicker. A fog where I forgot basic grammar and math rules, even though I legitimately used them everyday. A fog that causes me to stutter and forget words while speaking (why I've always preferred writing to speaking). A fog that straight up made me forget how talk a couple of times (and no that's not an exaggeration....I literally could not form words. A fog that got so thick to the point where a few years, I literally could not form thoughts.... something I still haven't fully recovered from.

Sorry. I went kind of on a tangent there....but it's so frustrating that this constant Brain Fog is keeping me from doing the things I love; not just dance, but drawing. Writing. Crafting... And I don't know what to do about it. I don't even know the cause, if I'm being completely honest. I've wracked my brain trying to at least get to the root of why, so that MAYBE healing is possible, but....

Another big factor is just my frustration in myself. I'm not an absolute beginner in ballet, but I've felt that way ever since I've started taking ballet as an adult. My teacher would go through simple steps and phrases and I just felt like a moron because I'd either forgotten what they were or just couldn't find them in my brain at all.

I know in reality, I've only done three years of ballet....and even that's pushing it...

It was an elective class (in place of PE) at my middle schools. 30 minutes to an hour a day, sometimes 5 days a week....sometimes only 3. And we never stayed on ballet long (maybe a month and half each school year) because my classmates were more interested in modern/hip-hop. So in truth, those three years, I was not properly trained to say I am knowledgeable in ballet.

I know that logically.

However, my Perfectionist nature hinders me as always....because I feel like I don't even know the basics. Because I feel like I should be able to get through a beginner class with no issue. Because everytime I make a mistake, my mind screams at me "This isn't hard! Why don't you know this?! It's a fucking plie'! You should know how to properly do one by now! You could do this a decade ago with no problem! What the actual fuck?!"

So, I get frustrated and immediately want to quit. (Have always been someone who would rather not try, than to try and fail. Like literally if I thought I would fail a test in highschool, I literally would just not even try and accept a flat 0 than to try and fail.)

And then also, I'm frustrated with myself because I'm over 30 and should be above all of this. It's like I'm going backwards in life. Even as a kid I understood that perfection wasn't a thing, in art, beauty, or anything else. And though I had my moments (such as having a full crying fit the first time I got a B on a PROGRESS REPORT), I've definitely gotten worse.

Besides my stomach (which though self conscious, I still fully accepted), I've never given a damn about my looks or what others thought of it. Now it's constantly on my mind.

I used to draw and draw and didn't give a damn because I liked doing it. Now, I'm terrified to even pick up a pencil because I know it's not going to be what I picture in my head.....and I'm just going to fuck up the perspective. Or the coloring. Or not get the pose exactly right. Or....

I'm just so sick of letting fear and brain fog holding me back from my creativity. I miss moving and creating. Doesn't have to be perfect. Doesn't have to get a ton of likes or comments. I just miss doing things. And with dance.....it used to be the one thing I could do where I legitimately didn't care about my body size or how I looked. I would dance randomly in the grocery.

I just want to get back to being that person.

*sigh* This wasn't where I was intended this blog post to go... (Word vomit, I suppose.)

......my point doesn't even make sense anymore, so....fuck it....

I just want to get out of this fog in my head and back to moving and creating without thinking. 😕

#cyanidefilleddiary #if you actually read this through to the end.....I'm so sorry #but thank you for caring about me and my bullshit #I don't deserve you....but appreciate you wholeheartedly nonetheless #ballet #dance #mental illness

1 note · View note

cjsinkythoughts · 3 years

Text

In Need of a Breath

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 4007

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Zemo, Feelings, Another PTSD Flashback

A/N: So…Part 4 is going to have a couple parts to it. Maybe even three. I didn’t even make it half way through the episode on this one, mainly because I really wanted to fit in the Reader’s backstory and I wanted her and Sam to have a heart-to-heart again. I’m suuuuper tired, so I probably won’t be posting the next part for another few hours (it’s 5 am right now and I haven’t slept), BUT it’s my day off work and I won’t be doing anything I planned because my grandmother had a stroke a couple days ago so plans have changed and I’m staying in to help her, meaning I’ll mostly be writing all day.

This Part is kind of a mix between off-screen and shot-by-shots, but it’s mostly off screen/what’s going on inside Reader’s head.

I’m really excited about future parts and the characters that are being introduced! I will say that after these parts, I will be doing one shots of previous MCU movies with the Reader, due to the information that is being given about the Reader now. You kind of see more of how she was affected/how she affected the previous MCU movies and what she was doing during that time.

Like always, this hasn’t been beta’d, again it’s SUPER early in the morning, and I’m really tired, so please excuse any mistakes! I hope you guys enjoy this part! Stay tuned for more to come later today!

FATWS MASTERLIST

cjsinkythoughts MASTERLIST

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

“You know…I’m really starting to regret saying yes to this.” You huffed out, craning your neck and squinting your eyes against the sun as you stare at the facility in front of you, hating the skin-crawling feeling of being back.

“Would you relax? Whenever you’re nervous, I get nervous, and I don’t wanna be nervous about this.” Sam shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“Do either of you have a better plan?” Bucky grumbled, crossing his arms.

Gnawing on your lips, you finally take the lead and breathe out, “alright. Let’s go then.” You could feel the hesitance from your - what were they? Partners? Coworkers? Teammates? - the fellas before they started after you.

There was a sick twist in your gut as you entered the building, going through the lobby and security.

You had been there.

You had been there when Zemo impersonated Bucky. You had been there when Zemo unleashed the Winter Soldier at the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre Building in Berlin. You had been there during the battle at the airport. You had been there when Zemo turned Tony and Steve against each other in Siberia. You had been there when Zemo tore the Avengers from the inside out. Your family. The only family you’d ever known.

But you’d always been good about pushing your personal feelings aside for the sake of the mission. It’s what you’d been born to do. All you ever knew.

“Hey. Doll. You hear me?”

“Hmm. What?” You looked up from the ground to look into those enchanting blue oceans Bucky had for eyes, staring worriedly down at you, eyebrows pinched and forehead creased.

“I’m going in alone.” You frowned, opening your mouth to argue, but he shook his head. “Sam already agreed-”

“I didn’t necessarily agree-”

“You’re an Avenger, sweetheart.” Bucky tilted his head, speaking softly, those eyes of his worried. Worried for you. It made your stomach flip. “And you were there in Siberia, and that almost makes it worse. Especially considering you went after him. Just…just let me do this, okay?”

You cracked your knuckles nervously as you thought. It was a terrible idea. But it was an idea. And it was all they had. “Okay.” You finally relented, shrugging as your hands hit your thighs and slid up to your hips. “But don’t do anything stupid.”

“Steve took all that with him.”

Knowing about their little inside joke, you scoffed. “Sure he did. Go before I change my mind.”

You watched him walk down the hallway, hands fidgeting with excess nerves. “I think you’re the only one he actually seeks approval from.”

“Good thing I’m so lenient then, huh?” You joked, turning to Sam with a strained smile. Your smile slipped at the curious expression on Sam’s face, his eyes darting to each of your features. “What?”

“Are you doing okay?”

You groaned, throwing your head back. You thought you got out of talking about your feelings back in Baltimore. “Oh my God, Sam-”

“I’m serious. You…you just don’t seem like yourself.”

You shook your head, looking down the hall to where Bucky disappeared before turning back to him. It was weird to have a self that people recognized. Your whole life you’d been searching for it and when you finally found it…everything went to shit. “Honestly, Sammy, the only time I’ve ever felt like myself was with the team. Zemo took that away from me and now we’re here, practically begging him for help.”

Sam hummed, leaning against the wall. “Have you thought of taking a break?”

“What?”

“A break.” At your bewildered look, he rolled his eyes. “Cher, this time last year most of us were dead. This time a few months ago you found out about Wanda. This time last week you were out looking for her. Maybe you should just stop and take a breather.”

Shoving your hands in your pocket and looking at the floor, you couldn’t help but snort at his advice. “I haven’t taken a breather since I was eighteen.”

He clicked his tongue. “That’s my point. FBI academy as soon as you graduated. SHIELD recruit by 21, undercover operations leader by 24? Slow down. You’re in your thirties. Next thing you know, you’re gonna be ninety something, lying on your deathbed, wishing you had stopped to smell the roses.”

“If I live to be ninety, shoot me.” He chuckled in amusement. “I’m so fucking serious, Sam. I will not be put in an old folks home to play Bingo and be pushed around in a wheelchair. It ain’t happening.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” There was that infectious smile, which you unconsciously grinned back at. “Y/N…I’m serious. You’ve been in and out of missions since you were a teenager. What’s the shortest undercover operation you’ve done?”

“I dunno.”

He gave you an unimpressed look. “Yeah you do.”

Licking your lips, you turned away and shrugged. “A couple months. Seven weeks and three days, to be precise. September to October in 2012.”

“And the longest?”

“August 2007 to May 2009. Twenty one months.”

Letting out a puff of air through his nose, Sam pushed himself off the wall and caught your chin between his fingers to make you look at him. “That’s nearly two years under cover. And I’m sure you went right back under after-”

“I was sitting at a desk for four months doing paperwork on it.” You defended yourself.

He shook his head, brows knitting together, lips drawn down. “You say that as if four months is enough time.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Sammy. I’m out. I’ve been out since Ultron and Sokovia. I haven’t been under in almost a decade-”

“A decade half the world was dead for half of-”

“I wasn’t!”

“I never said you were.” Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. You were always amazed at his ability to keep his emotions in check. To stay cool under pressure. Sometimes you forgot how experienced he was with dealing with other people’s trauma. It was no wonder why Steve thought he’d be good for Bucky. “Listen. All I’m saying is once this is done…don’t go diving back into searching for Wanda. Don’t go running to the kid every time he calls - and I know you’ve been doing that-”

“It’s just been homework and stuff-”

“Y/N.” You stopped, biting your lip at the stern look he gave you. “Go home. Order take out. Binge watch TV. Go for a jog through the park. Actually meet your neighbors. Go grocery shopping. Just…live. If only for a couple weeks. Don’t worry about anyone else. Don’t pick up the phone, don’t drop everything because someone needs you. You need you.”

“I-I…” You shook your head, looking at him, sincerely apologetic. “I can’t. I wish I could. But I can’t. I’ve never had one normal day in my life. I’ve never had someone to care for, never had someone to care for me. I can’t let people I’ve come to…I can’t let them think I don’t care. I don’t even know where I’d go.”

“Whaddya mean?”

You winced, not thrilled for his reaction to your next statement. “I, uh, I sold my apartment in D.C.”

He gaped at you in complete disbelief. “You got it in December!”

“I know, I know. I liked it. I really did, but…I dunno. Nomadic life has always suited me better. It’s what I grew up with.”

He took a breath, making you cringe again. You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately gotten on his nerves like this before. “Have you ever thought that, instead of going with the flow and jumping place to place, putting down roots might actually help?” He cut you off before you could say anything, holding up a finger to stop you from talking. “I can’t imagine going from foster home to foster home like you did. I can’t imagine not having a home for as long as you can remember. Louisiana’s my home. Always has, always will be. But I understand your life has been anything but stable. And maybe, just maybe, that’s why you need some stability.”

You clenched your jaw, crossing your arms. “The Avengers were my stability. Steve was my stability.”

“Because you loved him.”

“I’m not doing this with you again.” You turned to walk down to the lobby to wait for Bucky there, but Sam caught your arm.

“You were in love with him! It’s okay! You two were super close! No one would blame you! Why won’t you just admit it? I’m trying to understand! Why won’t you-”

You tugged your arm away, finally snapping at him. “Because he could never be mine, Wilson! Is that what you wanna hear?!” Sam took a step back at your exclamation. You closed your eyes, swallowing the lump in your throat and pushing down the tears. “He could preach all he wanted about moving forwards, Sammy, but we all knew he was stuck in the past. He visited the museum every Thursday because her interview showed in his exhibit on Thursdays. He carried around that broken compass because her picture was in it.” You looked back up at him sadly, shrugging. “And I get it; it’s hard to move past your first love. I get it because…that’s what he was to me.”

There was a silence that blanketed the hallway, before he spoke up hesitantly. “What about Bucky?”

“I thought - I thought I was projecting my feelings for Steve onto him because I knew Steve couldn’t ever…”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “You thought? What do you think now?”

You cleared your throat. “I’m still figuring that one out.”

“If you ever need to talk, I’ll be here.”

You chuckled, nodding slightly towards him. “Back atcha. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you not being yourself lately, either.”

“It’s…a tough topic.”

You nodded in understanding. “Just know that I’ll support every decision you make as long as you think it’s the right one. Because I trust you. Steve trusted you. It’s all we can do to try to do what’s right. That’s what makes you a good man, Sammy. He gave you that shield for a reason, and if you think what you did was right…I’ll stand by it.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, calming down in each other’s presences and taking comfort knowing you’d be there for each other through thick and thin. “Thank you, cher.”

“Of course, Sammy. Now let’s go see what’s taking the old grump so long.”

He laughed at that, nodding in agreement, taking your offered hand and squeezing it as you made your way down the hall.

****************

“What?”

Bucky eyed you as you spluttered, coughing on the water you were drinking. “Please don’t choke, doll.”

“Break him out of jail?!” You repeated his words and blinked at him, absolutely baffled by his plan. “Oh my God.” You groaned as Bucky and Sam started arguing, moving your flashlight around the room. “Where the hell are we?” There was no response as they kept going back and forth.

“Zemo’s gonna mess with our minds! Especially yours! No offense.”

“Heelllloooo!” You tried again. “Where the hell are we?!”

Bucky turned on the lights, giving Sam a look. “Offense.” Glancing at you he quirked an eyebrow. “Stop worrying your pretty lil’ head, sweetheart. You trust me, dontcha?” Your breath hitched at his words. You quickly recovered, huffing and pouting - although you’d deny ever pouting - and crossing your arms. You stood between the guys like that, eyes darting to whoever was speaking, waiting for them to stop so you could actually think.

“Look. Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”

You and Sam exchanged glances. “What did you do?”

“I…didn’t do…anything.” Bucky shrugged.

“How is it that you, one of the most deadliest assassins basically ever, are one of the worst liars I know.” You tilted your head at him, an eyebrow quirking up in confusion.

“Shush it you. Just, okay. The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element.”

The more you listened to Bucky’s “hypothetical”, the stronger the gut feeling telling you this was a terrible terrible idea got. You brought your hands up to your head, eyes wide as he spoke.

“I don’t like how casual you’re bein’ about this. This is unnatural.”

You couldn’t help but agree with Sam’s words, your head falling back and your eyes closing. “Sweet Jesus. Listen, God, I know we don’t talk much these days, but please, please don’t let this not be a hypothetical. I’m fucking begging you.”

A noise to your right made your head snap over. “Oh hell to the fucking no!” You shook your head as Zemo himself walked in, wearing a prison guards uniform. “Uh-uh! No way! Bucky, this was not part of the plan!”

“What did you do?!”

“We need him!”

“You’re going back to prison.”

“If I may-”

All three of you faced him, simultaneously shouting, “no!”

You held your face in your hands as your head dropped, shaking back and forth, your eyes squeezing shut, tuning them out for just a minute to think. Bucky had a point. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that, and the Avengers were technically disbanded, which was Zemo’s whole objective in the first place, but…God. You were good at compartmentalizing, but not that much. You were willing to put your feelings aside for the mission so Bucky could talk to him. Not for you to work with him. But he had connections, you knew he did, and he had information…

“Doll?” You looked up, Bucky anxiously licking his lips as he met your gaze. “I need you to say something.”

You looked to Sam, who shrugged, gesturing to Zemo. “What do you think?”

What did you think? What did you think?! You thought that it was the worst idea in the history of ideas and you should turn back and find another way! But…you knew this was the fastest, probably most reliable way to get information that you needed.

Dammit, since when were you the deciding factor?

You sucked in a breath, looking over Sam’s shoulder at Zemo, who lifted his hand in greeting. You raised your eyes to the ceiling, pointing your finger accusingly. “This is why we stopped talking.” Gaze dropping to the still waiting fellas, you gnawed on your lip, before hissing out, “ffffine…” Running a hand through your hair, you threw your hands up as you shrugged. “Fine. Okay. Fine.”

“Okay.” Sam nodded, taking charge again.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. Except, that was a lie. You could. You’d seen weirder. You’d experienced the impossible. Lived through the unbelievable. This…this was completely imaginable.

Which is why, with a lot of hesitation and very little confidence in this plan, you followed Zemo through the auto shop you were in until you reached a large room with a ton of different old cars.

Bucky’s hand found yours as Zemo explained what the plan was, rather vaguely, in your opinion, but at least he was explaining. Point for him. Not that it would make up for the level of distrust you held for him, but it was something.

You looked up at him, giving him a puzzling frown. He usually only grabbed your hand in front of other people when he was feeling anxious. Which, yeah, he had a right to be anxious right now, but it wasn’t the right kind. The type of anxiety caused by large crowds and loud noises, ones that startled him and threw him into a defensive mode.

But the look on his face made you squeeze his hand in reassurance. He was pouting, staring at you although he did something wrong - a puppy that tore up a pillow - and all you wanted to do was give him a hug.

“You’re mad at me.” He mumbled as the four of you headed out with Zemo in the lead.

“No I’m not.”

“Yeah you are.

“Bucky, I’m not mad.”

“Listen, if I had a better idea I wouldn’t-”

You brought your linked hands up to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his gloved knuckles. “I’m not mad.” You repeated more firmly. “It’s just…a lot for me, right now.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on, Buck, I-I just…” You thought about your and Sam’s earlier conversation and suddenly understood what he meant. “I need to breathe for a second.”

His features twisted into ones of uncertainty, eyes squinting as you stepped outside. “Do you…do you wanna leave?”

You shook your head, tugging his arm to stop him and grabbing the sunglasses on his collar, slipping them over his eyes. “No. I just need some time to think. Hopefully the plane ride to wherever the hell we’re going will give me that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, James. I’m sure.”

He lowered the glasses on his nose to scan you over the frames, before nodding and sliding them back up. “Okay. You ready for this, then?”

“No.” You breathed, turning back to where Zemo and Sam were still walking. “Let’s do this.”

*****************

Climbing onto the private jet, you raised an eyebrow at Sam, who shrugged, giving you a bemused expression. A Baron…huh…who knew? You feel like you should’ve, yet there you were.

You sat besides Bucky, across from Zemo, crossing your legs and leaning back while staring at him through narrowed eyes.

His butler seemed nice, which made you even more suspicious. You obviously didn’t know as much about Zemo as you wanted to. It was a habit you picked up after years of undercover work; once the mission was complete, that was that. There was no looking back on it. No sitting on it. It was over and you moved onto the next one. It was a bad habit in cases like this.

The moment you spotted the notebook over Zemo’s book you knew something was going to happen, yet you still flinched when Bucky lunged at him, grabbing his throat. You leaned back in your seat again, steadying your now racing heartbeat. You decided you were too tense, trying to relax your muscles as Bucky sat back down in his seat.

“I’ve seen that book. It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book.” Sam seemed so proud of himself that something he recommended was written in Steve’s little book and it made you smile.

You remembered that; Steve and you were supposed to meet up for coffee after his run, but Fury called him in so you rescheduled it for when he got back. He asked you about Marvin Gaye. For your opinion. You told him to check it out and make his own.

You remembered asking him about that little notebook of his, and he just shrugged you off telling you about his list. He would read items off to you, but he never let you read the book yourself. You never found out why, and you supposed you never would now. The thought made an ache behind your ribs that you’d come to familiarize yourself with appear.

You smiled a little more as Zemo and Sam told Bucky how awesome Marvin Gaye was. “C’mon, baby. Back me up.”

Chuckling, you looked at Bucky. “They’re not wrong. But,” you quickly added before Bucky could whine at you, facing Sam again. “Neither is Buck. I mean, c’mon. You can’t find music like the 40’s anymore. Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Benny Goodman, Fred Astaire. Ol’ Blue Eyes himself.”

“Thank you.” Bucky grinned at Sam, who rolled his eyes.

“Okay, okay. But, I mean, c’mon! Everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”

“I like Marvin Gaye.”

“Steve adored Marvin Gaye.”

Your face fell as Zemo started talking about Steve and icons and Red Skull, your mind once again slipping away from reality.

“Kids love you.” You giggled as you finally made it out of his exhibit. You’d wanted to show it to him since he moved to D.C., and you’d finally got an opportunity after coming back from being undercover for ten weeks. “You’re their hero, you know.”

“Yeah, well, I’m just trying to do what’s right.”

You nudged him, scoffing at his answer. “You’re too humble. You’re a national icon, you know.”

Steve shrugged, looking around the museum at the planes surrounding them. “I never wanted to be.”

“Why not? Everyone loves you.”

“I’m sure not everyone loves me.” He rolled his eyes. “And…I just wanted to help. To fight. Protect my country and the people I cared about. I-I didn’t ask for…all that.” He waved behind his shoulder where his exhibit was getting smaller with each step they took away. “People were dying. Bullies were winning.”

You shook your head, spinning and walking backwards besides him to face him. “Sure, but you did that. And you became someone people could look up to in the process.”

He narrowed his eyes at you before asking, “why do you do what you do?”

“...because I’m good at it?”

“Honey.” He gave you a look. “Answer the question.”

You hummed in thought. “Because I couldn’t stand by, knowing there would be orphaned kids if I didn’t help any way I could.”

“Alright. Why do you do it in the dark?”

“Whaddya mean?”

He shrugged. “Why don’t you come out and take credit for all the lives you’ve saved?”

“Because that’s not why I do it. I don’t want that attention. I just want to know I’ve helped people. I’ve kept them safe.”

He gave you a soft smile. “I just wanted to beat the bully. I never wanted to be a dancing monkey, too.” You looked at him in a new light then, understanding where he was coming from. “Watch out, honey!” He grabbed you and pulled you aside before you could crash into a wall, arms wrapped firmly around your waist. He gave you that charming smile of his. “Wouldn’t want you hurting that pretty lil’ head of yours, now would we?”

“Y/N!”

You snapped back into the conversation, moving your eyes from the window to Bucky, who tilted his head, eyebrows pinched and eyes narrowed. “Sorry. So, Madripoor. That’s a fun place.”

You ignored the side eyed glances Bucky and Sam exchanged, Sam turning to you curiously. “You’ve been?”

“Once. Back in 2010 for a few months”

Zemo raised his eyebrows. “You’re lucky to have gotten out.”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “Lucky, maybe. Skills were a part of it, too, though.”

“Good.” Zemo nodded. “Because we’re going undercover…and if we blow it. We’re dead.”

You breathed out, shaking your memory away and getting your head back into the game. Because like the man you were severely wary of in front of you said, if you blew this, you were dead. And, sure, you didn’t want to live until ninety, but you weren’t even half way there yet. So dammit if you were going to die soon.

“Hey.” You looked over at Bucky’s murmur, his head tilting as he grabbed your hand and pulled you from your seat closer to him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Are you okay? You know you’re going to have to be-”

“I know.” He nodded. You watched his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallowed thickly. “I’ll be fine. Just…tell me right now if you need to step out for this one.”

You gave him a smile that you knew he didn’t buy, just by the slight narrowing of his eye, his lips pressing together. “No. No, I’m good for this. If you think I’m gonna let you two idiots go into Madripoor with him - alone - oil that cyborg brain of yours, because there’s no way.”

He squeezed your hand, eyes still filled with uncertainty. “Are you sure?”

“If there’s even a slight possibility that I can protect you, then yeah. I’m sure, Buckaroo.”

2K notes · View notes

findingjoynweirdstuff · 3 years

Text

Fundy's Arc: A Collection of Transcriptions

The seeds of this character arc have been sown from the very beginning. This was a loooong time coming.

Here’s just a collection of moments and quotes from across Fundy’s character arc with Wilbur in L’manberg.

How did we get here? How did all of this familial conflict arise?

Because it’s been there long before Schlatt even got into power.

---

The very start:

- Fundy’s house gets pranked. He can no longer live there. Wilbur says that he’s technically the first naturally born citizen of L’manberg and claims Fundy as his son. He proclaims that, unlike his own father, he would be there for Fundy and give him the world. Neither of these promises were kept.

- After the first war ends, Wilbur makes Tommy vice president and Tubbo secretary of state. He doesn’t give Fundy any position. In fact, he doesn’t even include Fundy in the national anthem. Even Eret’s name was included over Fundy.

---

Wilbur, rejecting Eret’s kingship:

Wilbur: “I actually recognize, um, subscriber counts actually denote who’s in charge, um...”

Tommy: “That means you’ve got like a week until Fundy’s in charge of L’manburg.”

Wilbur: “Nah, Fundy’s too young...”

---

- Fundy’s rebellious stage really starts when he takes off the L’manburg uniform, long before any of the others did. Wilbur tries to get him to put it back on, but Fundy refuses.

Fundy: “Wilbur, it’s all right, I’m...I’m not a uniform.”

Wilbur: “Fundy why aren’t you in uniform?”

Fundy: “Um...I...forgot...”

Tubbo: “Put it on.”

Wilbur: “No, no, no, my son knows, Tubbo, don’t -- stand down, alright...right.”

Wilbur: “Fundy, it’s alright -- it’s okay that you forgot it, you know you’re a young man now, you’ve grown up a lot since -- you know you’re a teenager, you’re going through your rebellious phase, it’s absolutely fine that -- sometimes you wanna wear you’re own clothes! You know, but -- you know...daddy made a nice uniform and gave it to you, and...you know--”

Fundy: “Wait you made me a uniform?”

Wilbur: “It’s nothing, it’s really nothing, don’t worry --”

Fundy: “Waiiiiit, wait, what do you mean? What do you mean you made me a uniform?”

...

Wilbur: “It’s okay, we’ll talk about your uniform when you’re a bit older.”

---

- He gets into a war with Sapnap, almost starts a civil war with Tubbo, and Wilbur is absent for both of these. He’s just straight up not there. He didn’t even know about Fundy’s war with Sapnap since he had no idea Mushroom would make Niki upset, and Tommy brings up the fact that Wilbur’s been absent when he explains what had been happening between Tubbo and Fundy. Tommy had to step in because he was the only one left in charge.

---

Tommy: “Fundy, okay can I tell you what’s happened from my point of view? The son of the President has gone around scamming the other presidential members, and as Vice President while the President’s not on, it is my duty to make sure this doesn’t pull apart L’manburg.”

...

Tommy: “What would father think?”

Fundy: “...”

Fundy: “...Well he - always...sides...by me...”

Tommy: “Well you know, I mean, you’ve gone against the other members of the nation he fought to build--”

Fundy: “--Well! only because my - my loot has been stolen, alright --“

---

Tommy, to Wilbur:

Tommy: “been a little while since you’ve been on, Wilbur.”

Wilbur: “Yeah, well there’s a reason I haven’t been on...it sickens me.”

...

Tommy: “There was a - there was a civil war.”

Wilbur: “I heard, between Fundy and Tubbo --”

Tommy: “Yeah, your son and our secretary of state had a huge quarrel, and I defused it.”

Maybe this is just me reading into that last line and the tone it was said with a bit too much, but Tommy kind of had to emphasize the fact that Fundy was Wilbur’s son, as if Wilbur had almost forgotten it

---

- Pog2020 works to get Sapnap’s vote by publicly disavowing Fundy. He goes to make his own party in response and Coconut2020 isn’t even taken seriously. Wilbur didn’t even want to include it on the ballot.

Sapnap: “Your father would be very disappointed.”

Fundy: “Why - disappointed for wearing glasses?!

Sapnap: “Ugly, wearing glasses, what are you wearing --”

Fundy: “What do you mean?!”

Tommy: “Fundy, Fundy...I’m just here to publicly denounce you.”

Fundy: “...What?”

...

Tommy: “I’m just here to kinda let you know...if you weren’t Wilbur’s son, you would be out of L’manberg. Just remember, you need to keep that relationship with your father - I saw how arsehole-y and bratty you were acting in the courtroom the other night, you need to pull your shit together young man.”

...

Fundy: “Chat, lemme get this straight real quick...so Tommy is demoting me, right, and he’s saying you’re only in L’manberg because of Wil. So Tommy says...in theory, he would kick me out if he had the chance. But considering that, while he’s together with Sapnap, it leads me to believe... Tommy wants to destroy L’manberg.”

--- More under the break because this is a horrendously long post ---

Fundy gives a speech after preparing the Festival decorations:

Fundy: “Chat, I wanna point something out...

at the start of everything in L’manberg, when Jschlatt got on top of everyone, when Jschlatt got the leading position, and everyone was saying it was a bad thing [...] I just wanna point out...

What have Tommy and Wil ever done for this country? What have they ever done for this country? Really? They put up walls, they accepted a drug scandal, and what do we have? Not two weeks after Schlatt got elected, we have a festival. We have a festival! [...] They kept our country alive, but we’ve revamped it to something better [...] They’ve kept us alive for us to continue our generation

I see progress, alright?”

---

The big turning point happens when Fundy denounces Wilbur as part of his plan as a spy. That moment sealed the fate between the two, fracturing their relationship beyond repair.

---

Fundy: “Wilbur, imma need you to shut up for a second--”

Wilbur: “Don’t you speak like that to me, Fundy. Don’t forget where you came from!”

Schlatt: “What’s the relationship between you and...and Wilbur, Fundy?”

Fundy: “Wilbur’s just the founder, and I was born here, and nothing else. That’s literally all there is to it.”

Wilbur: “But...you know that’s not...”

---

When Fundy goes back to help Wilbur and Tommy with his Spy’s Diary, he’s still mocked and spoken over, called Wilbur’s “traitor son.” His effort as a mole wasn’t enough to fix their bond.

And when everyone finally takes back L’manburg, Wilbur gets to choose who’s the new president. There’s only one person other than Tommy that that could be. And as Fundy watches...Wilbur gives Tubbo the country instead. And then blows Fundy’s home to smithereens.

And instead of living with the consequences, he tells Phil to kill him, so that he can become a little floating ghost who wanders around avoiding his problems.

---

When a creeper explodes a hole in the wall and Wil asks Phil about his button room, Phil asks Wil to VC. Wil, seeing that it was a serious talk, immediately avoids it and drops the conversation. This is exactly what Fundy calls out later on.

---

Fundy tells Wilbur straight to his face:

Fundy: “Wil, LISTEN!”

Wilbur: “I am - I am, I am, I just --”

Fundy: “You know what’s wrong? Do you even know? Does it even break through, like - Wil, listen, look at me. Wil, WIL...stop. Every single time something serious comes up, you evade it. You just avoid everything. You run away from every serious consequence that might become of your actions. You walk away from it! You just smile throughout everything. You think nothing is going on, you think everything is fine...it’s not!

You were there for me, for a very very fucking long time...and when I needed you the most, you skedaddled the fuck out of my life and died. Because of what? L’manburg’s causes, huh? You thought that was justice, you thought that was good for me? You left me, man. You never take things seriously, you never do.”

Fundy: “Let me tell you something, Wil, let me tell you something. You know what happened, after all of your memories - all of your good memories of our quote unquote ‘last talk?’ Because it wasn’t our last talk, Wil - Wil--”

Wilbur: “If I didn’t remember it, it probably wasn’t worth remembering.”

Wilbur then feigns a meeting with Tubbo to get out of the conversation and leave, immediately proving Fundy’s point.

---

Wilbur doesn’t like to face the consequences of his actions.

He started the election because he felt like no one respected his power. But instead of dealing with that lack of respect by gaining it legitimately, he just came up with a plan to rig an election. Instead of accepting that he lost the election, and that Schlatt was getting more done for L’manburg than he did in his time as president, Wilbur came up with a plan to bomb the festival and kill everyone. And when he finally exploded L’manburg, he perma-died and left everyone else to deal with Techno’s withers.

Fundy is right about Wilbur. He walks away from uncomfortable situations. And Fundy is, to Wilbur, an uncomfortable situation.

---

(also everyone say thank you fundy and wilbur for bringing us this heartbreaker of a character arc rn because this is some damn good stuff)

#mcyt #dream smp #wilbur soot #fundy #long posts #dreamsmp #dream smp transcriptions

632 notes · View notes

youremyonlyhope · 2 years

Text

MAMD

Ok seeing all the rewatchers1000 posts has inspired me to rewatch Me and My Dick too.

It’s literally been a decade since I last watched this. I definitely was in high school. I think I’ve only watched this musical twice maybe 3 times, though I do genuinely love it.

It’s so strange that as a completely naive teenager whose introduction to most sexual jokes came from this musical, and is now greysexual, that the musical still managed to take hold of SUCH a special place in my heart.

Now let’s see if the Old Snatch is still my favorite character or not. I know I used to adore her.

Aww Joey’s a BABY. Oof the sound quality. I don’t know why I had my volume so low. “I love you more than anything... my Dick.” Joe’s a baby too. “Never even seen a booby” why did that line just kill me. “Good grief” aww. The head tilt! I’ve listened the Apocalyptour soundtrack so many times over the years, that I’m not used to them actually finishing the sentence “It’s me and my dick!” Tell me why I’m singing along to Dick’s lines and not Joey’s? Awwww little baby Jaime. “And if we’re late for class, well I guess that’s ok!” “Is she gone?” “Yeah! I’m gone!” Oh my god she’s a salad. I can’t remember, did we make that into an insult like we did for toaster...

I’m also drinking a hard pear cider that I discovered my bodega sells earlier this week. It’s delicious.

Aww there’s a bit of the trumpet from Listen to Your Heart in the scene transition! The audience reaction to Miss Cooter’s name. Yesssss Ready to Go. Legitimately one of the best StarKid songs to this day. “AgNOooo3″ Aww Ali. Literally a baby. She was the reigning youngest StarKid for so long. “...and it’s only when the Silver and the Nitrogen find all THREE Oxygens that they finally solve the case!” “...Calm down.” Amazing.

God I forgot how short some of these parts were back when YouTube didn’t let you post more than 10 minutes.

Oh shoot how did I only just noticed the “This video is for big StarKids only!” in the description. That’s so cute. They tried. They did not succeed in keeping away the little StarKids.

Ok wait one more interruption before I press play on Part 3. I just noticed that the video says 12 years ago. I just gagged. Ok moving on.

Alle-Faye! She’s so good. Yessssssss The Old Snatch and Flopsy. “Wide Receiver” I can’t. God I’m so used to the SPACE version that I nearly went straight into Flopsy’s verse after the Old Snatch’s. “What, I ain’t!” Brolden your voice. “Whiles, we’s, waits to be delivered, go ahead cry me a river, we agree that there’s no quid pro quo” That line has always been my favorite for some reason. I just love the jazzy rhythm. The whole jazzy vibe of the show is amazing. “Save your tears for lubrication!” Amazing. “I know there’s so much more to what I think I see” I keep singing the new soprano line they used in Homecoming. “TOTES JUST TOTED!” amazing. God. That’s such a good song. It’d be the perfect opening number for the show, if Me and My Dick wasn’t the title number and needed in order to explain the concept of the show. Also I never realized that Corey, Arielle, Lily, and Richard are the only “ensemble” in the show. I don’t think I ever realized there were only 12 people in this entire cast... how many were in AVPM... now I gotta check. There were 17. Also there’s 13 in the cast, AJ just isn’t in Ready to Go. Also, Nicholas Joseph Strauss-Matathia. Fave.

“I heard Joey Richter ate his poop because his Dick told him to” What. “He looks like an old lesbian!” I forgot that joke. “I WANNA HAVE CARIBBEAN STUDY WITH YOU!” Iconic. Oh wait. It just hit me that of the 4 (or 8 if you count the genitalia) main characters, 3 (6) are women. Though of course, 2 vaginas are played by men, so it does come out to 4 and 4 for actors, but character-wise, it’s 6 and 2. That’s fun. Somehow this managed to be the most woman-dominant show other than Firebringer, in a way. “Thank you so much, for giving all that up, so I can have that with Vanessa and not with you” Amazing. I forgot that Devin has an operatic voice in this song. This song now makes me think of the time StarKid had a fan join Joe in singing this song at LeakyCon a few years ago. Purposefully to prank a fan with having to sing the least-well-known StarKid song. I will admit it is forgettable. Also the fan somewhat knew the song and stumbled through it pretty well, so all the StarKids were like “That went so much better than we though! We wanted to make a joke but you did it!” at the end. I love that Richard’s entire point in this show is just to make fun of Joey.

Aww. Every StarKid show needs an outdated reference. This time, it’s “I thought you’d go all Britney on me and have a spaz attack.” The sword of Gryffindor is in there. “A stiff outer lip” That probably went over my head as a teen. “Don’t be a stranger” “Never!” Love her. The slow building laugh at “She’s got long, beautiful, flowing hair.” Oh my god sorry I can’t get over how young Joey is, he’s a baby. “Are you nuts?” “A little” adorable. “We’re like Batman and Robin, or Superman... and his dick!” Amazing.

”And by pecker I assume you’re referring to a p-p-p-p-p-p... a cock” Nick my god. Knowing that Devin and Nick were really close friends in college (if I remember the story correctly, he coined “devdevnumnums” at orientation when they met and that was her tumblr url back in the day) makes this song even funner to me. God I love the Old Snatch. Oh my god the pearl necklaces. A costume piece that went over my head. ”Oh you must really be wet... behind the ears! With naiveté!” Lines that went over my head. OH MY GOD. TIFFANY HAS A RED ENV2! I HAD A RED ENV2 IN 2009! Oh my god just squeaked. What a throwback. Aww the Old Snatch.

I haven’t mentioned the blue headband yet, but I love the blue headband so much. “Don’t worry, no one’s gonna have sex with you while I’m here” *sincere nodding* Amazing. I forgot that line until about 2 seconds before it happened. “Do you want me to give you a back scratch?” “No we’re fine.” “No thanks.” I’m dead. THE TEXTBOOK. “She wants to have sex with us.” “She does?” “Yeah.” “Nice I did it!” Amazing. Oh the camerawork when Dick looks to his left for someone else. I’m glad they thought ahead with the camerawork even for their second show. AHHHH THE SOCK. I JUST SCREAMED. LIGHTING A MATCH?? I remembered Flopsy coming out like a monster about a second before it happened. “I’m not gonna fucking sing with you!” Another line that came back to me only just before it happened. Also, Brian looks really pretty with the make-up and the wig. I remember watching that entire scene when I was 14 and PRAYING my parents wouldn’t walk in and ask what I was watching. I was cringing the entire time, but this time it’s funny (and still made me cringe a bit because it’s meant to be awkward).

Awww here we go. The first scene of MAMD I ever saw because I wanted to know why everyone loved AJ so much. “I wish I was born without a dick. Or as a girl or something.” 2009 StarKid is accidentally sort of trans-inclusive for that one line. Sort of. I remember being SO confused seeing Dick run away out of context when I watched only this scene. And In context it’s still shocking. Aww the heartbeat. “Why hello there Joey.” AJ’S A BABY!!! HE’S SO YOUNG!! HE’S A BABY! I literally just squeaked. Oh my god he’s so young. “Wow the nine of hearts!” “That’s right the king of hearts!” “Ew!” “Read this. It’s a Jane Austen novel Joey.” Oh my god I was just talking to one of my coworkers about how obsessed I am with Jane Austen. Why did StarKid stop referencing her in their musicals? Oh it’s Sense and Sensibility. So is Vanessa the Willoughby and Sally is the Colonel Brandon? Am I overthinking this? Am I slightly tipsy from 2 ciders because I have no alcohol tolerance? I’m gonna go with: they’re trying to draw a parallel there with the Marianne love triangle but making it Joey. I think it works. To my half asleep slightly tipsy mind. “Sometimes, your one true love turns out to be the person you initially... disliked.” Yes definitely, I forgot that line, but I caught on to that parallel correctly. I am SO HAPPY. “When did Jane Austen say that?” In half her novels Joey. Why specifically 223%? I cannot get over how little AJ is! He’s such a baby! He’s so young. Oh my god. So cute. I can’t. BRB gotta see if I can find an example of one of those old AJ Holmes Appreciate Day posts from like 2012 oh my god.

Ok so way back in 2011 and 2012, when a whole bunch of us had our own little group that posted constantly on the StarKidPotter FB wall (before FB introduced Timeline and messed up our system of posting), we used to do an AJ Holmes Appreciation Day and just post things about how awesome AJ was, but in like Chuck Norris 2010s style jokes. I just went back in my Facebook activity to see, and I wrote things like “Apple Juice is only firetrucking delicious because its initials are A.J.” and “AJ Holmes dares to disturb Goyle’s slumber!”

But the one that is relevant and I think I’m probably most proud of: “AJ Holmes doesn’t listen to his heart, his heart listens to him.”

Ok that’s my StarKid fandom history/walk down memory lane/intermission done. On to Act 2!

WAIT A SECOND. I am not done. I had posted “JK Rowling didn’t come up with the idea of Harry Potter, AJ Holmes whispered it into her ear.” and basically, did I accidentally predict A Very Potter Senior Year in 2011... StarKid, should I ask for royalties? (I’m kidding)

OK NOW I’m done and going on to Act 2. Also I have a headache now, which means I shouldn’t have drunk that second cider, I should have saved it for another time. Oh well. I’ll power through.

Oh my god. Dick on the street. Oh my god Nick saying “Fuck you!” over and over. I’m DEAD. Darren’s cameo oh my god. Corey and Arielle are amazing. “Wait that’s just a curtain” Oh, the 4th wall breaks. “Ever since I rescued Weenie from a bird” A BIRD. I FORGOT THE BIRD. Do we get to see the bird? The Land of the Dicks is such a great jazz song. Also flashback to me talking to some girls on the StarKid Takes Manhattan line who were younger than me and them saying “I’m worried they’ll sing a song from MAMD. My mom’s going to come to the concert, and she doesn’t know about that show.” and I said “Don’t worry. They only do Ready to Go or Listen to your Heart live. I mean, it’s not like they’re gonna sing Land of the Dicks. Hahaha” And then Lauren sang the Land of the Dicks. Which was AMAZING, but I remember turning to one of them when the opening started and mouthing “I am so sorry...” God Land of the Dicks is genuinely SUCH a good song oh my god. I hope AJ and Carlos are proud of it. Also oh my god. I gotta throw out some appreciation for Corey. Who honestly did not get the appreciation he deserved from the fandom until we started the Hatchetfield musicals. But I loved him so much in this show. Also Arielle is always such a pleasant surprise. I always forget how prominent she is in this show. I wish she did more things with StarKid. Was she even at Homecoming...

Joey’s face at nincompoop amazing. “Too bad you’ll never be a leading man because of that JAW of yours.” AWWWW. NOOOO WE LOVE THE JAW. “You’re forgetting the most important prop!” 4th wall breaks. “The hour is nigh!” Oh my god. “I don’t wanna see or be seen by anyone today.” Wow. Far too relatable. “THAT IS WAY TOO OVERWHELMING FOR A TUESDAY” the number of times over the last 11 years that I’ve thought of that line... The flower in the shoe and Old Snatch’s “Hows romantic.” I can’t. Oh my god. I just remembered “Raise my children!” “Sometime the best thing to say... is a kiss.” “Good line Joey!” “What?” “The fuck!?” That was the FUNNIEST line to me. “Did everybody hear that? Joey Richter has a limp little dick!” Oh Richard. “Oh my props.” Old Snatch oh my god. “Tiffany, doll, I love ya. But you are the dumbest fucking person, I have ever met, in my entire life” I love that line. And I love that the audience is laughing so hard they drown Nick out before he even finishes. I love the Old Snatch so much.

“Sex sex sex pussy pussy sex pussy sex pussy sex.” “Pussy. Sex.” I’m dead. This whole “pussy time” speech in insane. And so the incel movement began. “The president of the United States can’t even order out for some pussy or else he’s gonna get impeached.” “LEWINSKY.” Oh my god. I definitely did not know who Monica Lewinsky was when I was 14. Amazing. Actually maybe I learned who she was from MAMD... honestly, that’s a very real possibility. “What’s a pussy gotta do when she wants a dick? She just says ‘dick please?’ and the sun is blocked out by dicks.” I remembered sun blocked out line only seconds before it happened, and I was already laughing so hard. Also the caption says *indiscernible, it’s just too funny* for the next line Corey says since it’s completely drowned out by laughter and lost to history. Oof the “sex change” joke didn’t really age well. “Let’s go do jazz squares.” I love how Corey hits Arielle’s head with his hat so hard her beanie flies off.

“You’re a fatty. Joey look at me when you cry, you’re fatty.” “And what a poor choice of shirt.” “It’s the only one I have.” Oh my god Ali taking the tickets. Ahhh the caption says *wind carrying away all of Joey’s hopes and dreams* I’m dead. “Can the choir class come into the room yet?” “Because Joey Richter is CUH-RYING IN HERE.” oh my god. I thought about that line a few weeks ago for the first time in years and it killed me. And “I think he needs to be picked up” adorable. I can’t handle it. “Um, Joey, I love you.” “Thanks friend, I love you too.” Ahhhh help. Oh the audio got so much clearer suddenly for Sally’s confession. “I want all of you, Joey Richter. And all I can give in return is myself. I wish I could give you more.” Awwwwwwwww. That line. “But I... there’s a... wait I....... Shit.” The “shit” on cue with the music, amazing. Ahhh I forgot how cute of a song Even Though is. Hey, StarKid, why cut the parts mid-way through the song!? Stupid YouTube...

“Maybe she is the person who we initially disliked!” Hey we got there. “Listen to your heart.” “NO. You screwed everything up last time.” “And I could very well screw it up this time!” Lily as Sally’s Heart. Adorable. That little curtsy at “and now twenty-first century!” is so cute. I’m glad StarKid didn’t do the usual take-off-her-glasses-and-she’s-pretty route for Sally. “Well that’s probably because our hearts are dancing a waltz to a song in 4/4 time.” I love that joke and oh my god the caption says (Everyone appreciates the joke) amazing. Also I love that the Hearts are like... grasping and letting go of their hands in beat to the heartbeat. Miss Cooter coming out from between her legs oh my god. Joey kissing Miss Cooter. More things that initially went over my head. AHHHH THE WAY SHE PUSHES HER BACK DOWN THROUGH THE LEGS. I SCREAMED. “And that is not the man I see lying in a heap below me.” Yesssss Alle-Faye! Yes AJ! Nick in the background with just a sweatshirt over his Snatch dress, I can’t. “Someone tell him where his dick is” “He’s out to find his dick” That is the most ridiculous number in the show, and somehow it’s the only one that doesn’t have dancing genitalia in it.

“Take a douche, cutie.” “You eat until you are as fat as you are ugly.” “That’ll take forever.” Awww noooooo. “I know there’s someone out there who still thinks you’re beautiful.” “...Mom?” “No, she doesn’t think that” Ahh my heart. “Yeah it’s me, the Old Snatch!” I love her. There are some awkward cuts in this scene that make me wonder if lines were cut, or if it’s just how they edited the two camera angles. I remember singing this song on the street once while explaining MAMD to a friend. It didn’t help explain it. I love Lily as the High Council Pussy. “Pussies from the West are bringing snacks.” Such a fun song.

Oh my god. I will not repeat what the caption just called the High Council Pussy. I will instead call her what the lyrics in the description said, the High Council Pussy. Oh my god. “Rabble rabble rabble” StarKid should bring that back. “I’s dos! The Old Snatch” “The Old Snatch?” “Yeah that’s right, the Old Snatch.” I love her. I can’t handle the caption putting her name for every single line. Oh my god. I’m gonna just call her the Grand Pussy. I cannot. Ok so the Old Snatch says her name out loud. I do not remember that. And that word definitely went over my head as a 14 year old. Oh my god. “Love! My esteemed colleagues. LOVE!... For a dick.” I’m dead. The flopping with the rabbles, I’m dead. “She’s wasting our pussy time” Bringing back that joke. The Old Snatch has Snatch Scouts? Can we hear more about them?? “Because if I’m wrong and a dick can love, what does that say about you?” OH NO. OH NOOO. NO DON’T HURT MY GIRL LIKE THIS. “A dick won’t set foot in there twice.” NO. NO OLD SNATCH YOU’RE PERFECT. “Elder Vag” Ok see, I much prefer that title. Ok the Old Snatch taking off her wig... made me want to make a joke... but I can’t remember the word I’m thinking of and I don’t feel like googling it. I figured out that the word was merkin. The caption said (Flopsy queefs) and I died. “I’s woulds” “The Old Snatch!” “That’s right. The Old Snatch.” Best running joke. Best character. “Hey you, Old Snatch.” “That’s me. The Old Snatch.” I die every time. I forgot that Flopsy’s real name is Myrtle. “We’s gots works to do.” I’m not gonna make the joke. The Flight of the Pussies. I cannot. Also yesss Alle-Faye’s vocalizations (I’m 95% sure it’s Alle-Faye singing the high part).

“He has a dick, it’s not his dick!” Oh Joey. “I got a picture of him, you wanna see it? I take pictures of him.” Oh my god Joey. “There’s a big singing, dancing dick in front of you Joey. I think anything’s possible.” I mean. He really has a point. Ah Corey’s so good. This whole song is SO good. Dick stiff-arming Weenie is amazing. “Get that sad bishop out of here.” Yessss Corey. Awww there’s a gentle instrumental reprise of Me and My Dick playing in the background as Joey tried to get Dick back. Oh I forgot they actually reprise the song!

TIE HIM TO A CACTUS!??!?!? I literally couldn’t remember if the bird comes back, it does. Aww the ba-dum-tss at the Heart pun. “That’s the only way we can work it out. And if we’re all in this together, you can bet on it that we’re breaking free.” “Fabulous!” “Looks like the boys are back!” Will people understand how amazing that joke is in 20 years? Is this another doomed to be outdated joke? I remember when I did Kiss Me Kate in high school, someone had to outline all the 40s jokes so we’d know why they were funny, will someone one day make an outline of all the StarKid jokes from the 2010s to explain them? “Cause I’m just a little boy and you’re all walking pussies.” Amazing. “Today I’ve seen dicks and pussies, walking and talking and flying around.” “You Old Snatch.” “I am the Old Snatch” Love her. I never noticed Joey wiping his hands. “Guys follow me, I’ll take you back to our dimension.” Amazing. “And I want more than that, no. I deserve more.” Yes you do, you Old Snatch. I sort of need to know the backstory now of Big T’s old person and how they ended up being Tiffany’s first time. Tobias and Gladys?? I forgot their names. Ali flying back in with the tickets. Amazing. See I know the audience is laughing, and StarKid probably intended that last little Me and My Dick reprise to be funny between Big T and the Old Snatch, but it’s genuinely sweet. I’m really happy that the Old Snatch gets a happy ending.

”Miss Cooter did you just come in through the window?” “No you’re crazy, go back to sleep.” I don’t love Heaven on Earth as a song, but it’s still fun. Oh my god. I just screamed “JOE” out loud. Because all show I’ve been like “Don’t we see Rick’s dick at some point? Who plays Rick’s dick?” And just now I was doing a mental tally of the 12 13 cast members and I’m like “None of them can play Rick’s dick, they have their own roles to play in this finale. But I KNOW we saw that dick... who was it...” And then JoMo walked onstage. I really just screamed “JOE” out loud when I saw him. Oh my god. Once again the pearl necklace joke went over my head as a 14 year old. I love the audience reaction though, they finally all notice the necklaces at that moment if they didn’t notice them already. Ok I never understood the Palace of Auburn Hills joke. I assumed it was something going over my head when I was younger, but I just googled it and it’s actually just a Michigan joke. Also does JoMo come onstage and then immediately just go off? He’s gone. ”HYOOO!” so cute.

Aww and the Darren version of Ready to Go for the credits.

“And Joey Richter as himself” amazing.

Aww, Darren’s version of Even Though for the rest of the credits.

Ok so the Old Snatch is still the literal best character that StarKid has ever made. I love her so much and I love how Nick plays her. She is my favorite character in any StarKid show I think to this day.

CLARK WAS ON KEYBOARD?!?!?!?!?! WHAT?!?!?!?! CLARK!?!?!?!? YOU WERE HERE THIS EARLY?!?!?!?!?! oh my god. I legit just screamed “CLARK!?” seeing his name.

Also I think I always knew Darren was playing Guitar in the show, especially if he was there to do the cameo, but for some reason it didn’t really hit me until I saw his name just now. That’s so fun.

And Carlos! Yay! I wish Carlos had been able to do more stuff with StarKid.

Sorry, I’m still reeling from finding out that Clark has been in their bands for this long, for basically the entire time. I really thought he didn’t show up until around Starship. I am also ashamed that the fandom didn’t even truly know of his existence until SPACE Tour when he stole all our hearts in the Jim and Povolos section. And even then he wasn’t appreciated until Firebringer.

(Update a few weeks later: I found an old post of mine from 2012 where I acknowledge that Clark has been around since at least MAMD, so I guess at some point over the last decade I forgot that I already knew he’d been around this long.)

While rereading this post, it suddenly hit me that whenever people would ask what my StarKid dream role is, I’d always say Sally’s Heart. Honestly, it still is one I’d love to play.

I’m glad I rewatched it. It definitely is different now as an adult, especially an adult who’s older than all the StarKids were when they did the show. Some parts did not age well in the slightest, but it’s still very funny and the music is incredible thanks to AJ and Carlos (and Darren).

#mamd #me and my dick #hope rewatches starkid #rewatchers1000 #also my headache never really went away so that's time for me to go to sleep

11 notes · View notes

longitudinalwaveme · 3 years

Text

Worst Flash Storylines and Plot Ideas of All Time

As you’ve probably ascertained from the general contents of this blog, the Flash is my favorite comic book series. I love the characters and most of the stories. However, just like any series that’s been around for eighty years (counting the Jay Garrick stuff), the Flash does, unfortunately, have some truly terrible stories and plot ideas.

In terms of terrible plot ideas that didn’t completely ruin the surrounding stories:

1. Barry Allen uses the Mirror Master’s mirrors to manipulate Iris into agreeing to start dating him again (Flash #109). Creepy, Barry. Just creepy. The story is great Silver Age fun otherwise.

2. Iris West: meanest woman alive. Iris was, by and large, incredibly awful to Barry up until maybe about a year before their 1966 marriage. Almost every time she shows up in an early Silver Age issue, you will admire her daring and independence (this is good) and be bewildered as to why on Earth Barry would want to spend time with a woman who is constantly calling him slow, lazy, and ambition-less (this is not good). It doesn’t really affect any one issue too much, but when read in a conglomerate, she starts looking really awful. Although as bad as Early Silver Age Iris seems as a romantic interest, she’s got nothing on Silver Age Superman and Lois Lane, the most dysfunctional couple in the DCU.

3. Wally West’s zero-effort code name and costume (Flash #110). It really could not be more obvious how little effort the writers were putting into creating this character. The duplicate origin is also pretty cheesy, but there are enough differences from Barry’s origin for it not to frustrate me. But the name “Kid Flash” and the fact that his first costume was literally identical to Barry’s just feel incredibly lazy. Barry and Wally do have an adorable dynamic in the issue, though, so it’s by no means all bad.

4. Barry Allen waiting an entire year after his marriage to tell his wife that he’s really the Flash. Frustrating and unnecessary; especially since Joan Garrick had been in on her husband’s secret since the 1940s.

5. Iris Allen is FROM THE FUTURE. I both love and hate this idea. It’s so perfectly comic-booky, but at the same time, it opened the floodgates for the Allen family being a confusing, time-displaced mess.

6. The Trial of Barry Allen. This one’s weird. I like many of the individual issues in this arc, and I actually think the last two issues are really great as an ending for Barry Allen’s original run, but this storyline dragged on for waaaaaay too long. There’s a reason I call it the Arc that Never Ends. Also, the titular trial is actually the least interesting part of the entire storyline. His battles with the Rogues and Kadabra are far more interesting.

7. Wally West’s borderline creepy, chauvinistic attitude towards women under Mike Baron (and, to a much lesser extent, William Messner-Loebs). There’s being a hormonal twenty-something, and then there’s going through girlfriends at the rate other people change their socks. Messner-Loebs mostly avoided this issue by making it clear that Wally was under intense psychological stress that was negatively impacting his behavior, but under Baron and in some of his JLE appearances, he comes across as a real creep around women.

8. Kadabra overkill under Mark Waid: I like Kadabra, but when he’s the main villain in like four distinct arcs, it gets to be a bit much. It’s like modern Eobard. He is legitimately written well, though, so he doesn’t drag down any of the stories too much.

9. Pointlessly Dead Rogues: Killing off the Rogues in Underworld Unleashed for no good reason (the rest of the story is great, especially the Trickster).

10. Pointlessly Dead Rogues 2: Electric Boogaloo: The Golden Glider’s pointless death to build up a character who was himself killed two issues later. (The rest of the story is decent.) Also, the treatment of Lisa in general post-Crisis is frustrating, since she becomes considerably more unhinged than she was before.

11. Any time Waid tried to write McCulloch, with the exception of Flash vol. 2 #105 (and even there, he seemed off). It’s like he forgot Evan wasn’t Sam.

12. Apparently, the Top trying to blow up both Central City and half the world makes him a loser? Also, he suddenly hates Piper for no readily apparent reason. (At least the story had some good Piper and Wally bits.)

13. BARRY ALLEN HAS A SECRET EVIL TWIN! DUN DUN DUN! (The rest of the story, where we get to meet a whole whack of interesting future Flashes, is actually pretty good, but whoo boy, the Malcolm reveal feels like it came straight out of a soap opera.)

14. In order for Captain Cold to ANGST, the Golden Glider’s pointless death remained in place for over ten years. It did give us a really, really good Capt. Cold story, at least...but it’s still fridging.

15. Rainbow Raider’s mean-spirited murder by Blacksmith. Poor Roy.

16. Albert Desmond becomes Hannibal Lecter, only twenty times as rude, for a Gotham Central arc that would’ve been terrific without him as the main villain.

17. Owen Mercer is an idiotic child murderer and gets killed by the Rogues. Why was this necessary? (The rest of Blackest Night: The Flash is pretty good.)

18. Josh Jackam-Mardon’s murder. The murder of small children for shock value is pretty gross. Especially since nothing was ever really done with it.

19. Barry’s PARENTS ARE DEEEEAAAAD! (Okay, it’s really just his mom, but still. This is a very frustrating retcon, since originally his parents were alive and well until after his own death.)

20. Albert Desmond was Barry’s jerk coworker; which never impacted the plot or led to anything. As a result, it’s just another frustrating retcon.

21. Sam Scudder murdered someone before becoming the Mirror Master. Yet another Johns retcon that never went anywhere and only serves to darken the Silver and Bronze Age stories after the fact.

22. Flashpoint (a decent story) wiped out a whole bunch of characters I really liked from existence for several years. Evan McCulloch’s still not back.

23. Giving the Rogues metahuman powers doesn’t suit them, on the whole. They work better without them.

24. Roy’s second pointless, brutal death in (I think) Forever Evil.

25. IT WAS MEEEEE, BARRY! After serving as the main villain for like six arcs in eight years, I’m glad that Eobard finally seems to be getting a rest. The level of bad things he was responsible for was getting ridiculous.

26. Sam/Lisa. WHY? (The only time it even kind of worked was in Forever Evil.)

In terms of entire storylines I didn’t like:

1. The Flash: The Most Terribly Written Man Alive. Poor Bart is aged up with no adequate explanation, loses all the traits that made him a likeable character, fights some awful villains, and then is murdered by the badly OOC Rogues. Meanwhile, Inertia goes from an at least somewhat sympathetic villain to a complete psychopath with little explanation, a murder is retconned into one of Captain Cold’s reformed periods, the Pied Piper and the Trickster completely forget that they’re supposed to be reformed, Abra Kadabra inexplicably teams up with the Rogues despite generally being a solo operative, and all of the Rogues act like total morons, willingly following a teenage speedster for no adequately explained reason. UGH.

2. Countdown to Infinite Crisis: Even though Piper and Trickster were probably the best part of Countdown, that isn’t saying much. Both of them are uncharacteristically stupid (especially James), and James is a grade-A jerk to Piper for no reason. Also, both of them continue to forget that they reformed, and then James gets brutally murdered and Piper almost loses his mind. Also, the other Rogues cameo, and continue to act like idiots. Countdown: it really does ruin everything it touches.

Superboy Prime will kill you! He’ll kill you to DEATH! And after you read Countdown, you’ll wish he had killed you to death.

3. The Identity Crisis Tie-In Retcon: So, you know all that awesome character development the Rogues have had over the years? Well, forget all that, because it was all just Roscoe brainwashing them! Which was something he could definitely do before this story! And why did he do this? Why, because Barry Allen, one of the most upstanding men in the DCU, brainwashed him! Also, apparently, the Top had a huge bodycount that we never heard about back in the Bronze Age, because we need even MORE grimdark retcons for our cheerful Silver/Bronze Age history! I like Geoff Johns’ work, I really do....but BOY HOWDY does he need to lay off on the retcons sometimes.

4. Identity Crisis: With the exception of Owen’s introduction and the establishment of the relationship between him and Digger, this story was pretty awful all around. More specifically, as far as the Flash was concerned, it was responsible for Digger’s second pointless death. It also killed off poor Jack Drake and poor, mistreated Sue Dibney, who deserved MUCH better. And the Justice League, including Barry, are A-OK with brainwashing, apparently. Comics are fun!

These last two stories are pretty recent, and they did have some parts I liked, but on the whole I felt they also belonged on the list.

5. The Trickster finally returns! Hurrah! Except it turns out that he’s way more like the Joker now than he ever was before, and he mind-controls the city in a super-creepy way. A very disappointing return for the character, especially since it was set up really well.

6. Forever Evil: Captain Cold becomes a murderous dictator with a stupid Santa Beard, all of the Rogues get horrible costumes, and Sam completes his mutation into Evan-in-all-but-name. There are some good characters bits in the story (even for Cold), but on the whole, I found the story to just be unlikeable and depressing and thought Cold was pretty out-of-character. Poor Commander Cold....

So, what are your least favorite Flash storylines and plot ideas?

#flash comics #flash rogues #dc comics

34 notes · View notes

geekgemsspooksandtoons · 3 years

Text

The Mask 1994

*I finally wrote the whole thing. I finally watched the movie that involved something I’ve been talking about A LOT. I think this took about an hour since I finished the movie. Forgot to mention Charlie.*

I wanna make this clear, even before I watched movie or ever writing this. I am legitimately a stupid and lazy person. Because my mom told me about this, and last week, my dad rented A Quiet Place Part 2. When I was trying to go to sleep but was looking up movies...I literally forgot my tv can do that too...and that I can rent or buy a movie...I rented the movie this morning, and deleted it afterwards...after all that talk...I could’ve done that...wow. I should do that more considering some movies I wanna see or like. Not too much though. My tv has DirecTV. Just a heads up.

But a few or couple of minutes ago, I finally watched The Mask film from 1994. This post is gonna be filled with spoilers and it’s gonna get long. Gonna be kind of a review. My overall thoughts on it. This was my first reaction to the whole movie.

I’d just wanna talk about this too. I like comic books, I like comic book movies. Mainly my favorites are ones like all of Zack Snyder’s DCEU movies, Spider-Man 1 & 2, The Suicide Squad 2021, Wonder Woman 2017, The Dark Knight(Despite whatever issues I have with it), and Joker 2019. Yeah, those are mainly DC films and two Marvel related ones. I don’t even mind Spider-Man 3 as well. I also forgot Dredd 2012 is another one of my favorites. Along with Batman 1989.

I was hoping The Mask could make that list of favorites. Because I read the comics first. I don’t think I ever watch the movie fully as a kid MAYBE. I’m a fan of the comics, I know this movie was gonna be a lighter take on the series.

In a nutshell...I liked it. It’s possible it will be on that list of favorite CBM’s...but I want to talk about it. I’ll also admit I think what got me interested in seeing this film and this series was me liking Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura...now, let’s get to the point.

Yeah, I liked it. I thought the movie was genuinely entertaining. Despite seeing some clips before. But also Ryan Hollinger’s video about it. Revealing the ending, the twist, and other stuff. But I didn’t wanna watch more more that I haven’t seen yet.

I will be honest, it still made me laugh. Even some scenes I already have seen. I will admit, the Cuban Pete scene is actually one of my favorites. XD But what also surprised me is that at times, despite being a funny film. It can genuinely be touching in a way. And I am mainly talking about the developing relationship between Stanley and Tina.

I just wanna talk about the characters right now. I’ll just admit unless I haven’t already. I’m a Jim Carrey fan. Mainly because of his more goofier roles. Particularly his roles from the Ace Ventura movies, Liar Liar, and especially Sonic The Hedgehog. I also will admit this, Jim Carry nails playing Big Head or who they call...The Mask in this movie...I’ll nitpick about that later.

But yeah, Jim’s entertaining as Big Head in this film. He does make me laugh. But I think another role he does well despite there are some sillier moments, which is fine. I feel like in a way, Stanley Ipkiss in this version, is maybe one of his more normal roles. But I know I’m wrong considering whatever other roles he’s in. He portrays a likable good guy who’s sadly mainly pushed around. Which is quite the difference from the comics, except being pushed around. But that’s another topic. Yet for this story, even if maybe Stanley’s name could be changed. But him being a genuinely kind guy works for this story.

Even before I saw the movie, learning more about this version about the character. I can relate to Stanley in some ways honestly. Which is something that I like. He basically shines as a protagonist.

He portrays both sides well. Despite at times...honestly, this Stanley is wacky. I shouldn’t be judging. Jim does a good stuff with what he played, and he’s the highlight of this movie. He also delivers possibly my favorite Jim Carrey line of all time now. Sorry if I get this wrong. I was looking for a clip of it to help me.

“Daddy’s gonna go kick some ass”. A literal line from Jim Carrey in this movie and I love it. He even brings a pistol with him.

I also wanna admit Peter Greene as Dorian is pretty good as a villain. The dude can be threatening and he works with what he is given. And he’s effective as an antagonist. I just wanna admit that I swear, one of these guys. One of them could’ve Walter in a way and I just think that could’ve been possible. But I’m not sure. Just one of Dorian’s henchmen looked like a huge guy. It just got me thinking about Walter from the comics.

Will admit, I think Kellaway is fine. And I just found out Christopher Reeve was one of the actors considered for the role...damn. But again, Kellaway was fine. He’s more like a supporting character and again, this is like an origin story. I do feel bothered Lionel Ray wasn’t added but replaced with this Doyle character. I will admit that Doyle is silly, which is the point of his character. I guess the writers and director didn’t want two sensible cops or something. I like Kellaway alright, but I’ll always dig Lionel too.

I really wanted to get this point. I thought Cameron Diaz was good as Tina Carlyle and Amy Yasbeck as Peggy Brandt. I will admit, I do strangely like the subversion with Peggy in a way with it’s twist. I get the idea if that it was going for that theme of, “We all wear mask” and Peggy turning Stanley into the mob said a lot about her character. While Tina was genuinely the one that truly supported Stanley.

I think was surprised me more was the fact despite Peggy turned in Stanley for selfish purposes such as paying for her condo. Yet what surprised me more was she was actually concerned for Stanley being killed, and didn’t want him hurt...which explains even more why she stuck around in the cartoon. And honestly, it makes me glad the director took out that deleted scene of her getting killed. So she wasn’t that heartless.

Also...it made me think that...my ideas and changes towards her character...maybe hold some weight.

I’ll just put this out there too. Milo is great, one of my favorite fictional dogs maybe. Good dog.

Trying to think what else, the score was fine. But the licensed music was good or something. Overall, I think my negatives could be just...nitpicks. Such as the Big Head part I wanted to talk about. Listen, I understand this is a different version. I just feel it’s weird to call him, “The Mask” instead of Big Head. I know other characters mask in their name or something. But...some reasons, the name Big Head is there. I guess it’s because of the title or something.

Honestly, I think my negatives are more that it feels short. And maybe Stanley becoming Big Head a bit too early. I sound kind of stupid, I know. But this was the 90′s and whatever else. This was a different take on the comics. But I did genuinely like it. Maybe I’m just a bit attached to those comics. Despite knowing the changes they did.

But I will admit, considering the development for this film. And learning that it was meant to be a horror film. But the director Charles Russell found the violence in the source material to be off putting. So he made it less grim, and more fun. I’ve also read somewhere that trying to make comedy with that violence was difficult.

Back to the point, to be honest. I feel like for that time and age. A more light Mask film was maybe the best choice to go. And we wouldn’t have Jim Carrey in it. I do also wanna say, I feel like The Mask series, you can do a lot of it. You can have something dark with it, or maybe more lighter.

There are still some of those darker elements. Mainly considering the moments with the gangsters and all that. But I will admit, learning that Charles mostly directed horror films. I think it’s impressive he made a more family friendly film and it worked.

I liked it, despite my love for the comics. I thought when writing this, maybe some folks reading this may think I sound like fans who read the comics who first experienced this movie. But the film isn’t bad, it’s just a different take and a pretty nice one at that.

And to be honest, as much as I would of loved to see an actual sequel. And not that bad film known as Son Of The Mask. I understand why Jim Carrey dropped out, and I would’ve loved to see Peggy back because the director planned to bring her back reformed. But I feel like this film works as a one off in a way. And there’s also the cartoon, which works fine as a sequel despite some differences. Yet...I’ll admit, I would’ve loved The Mask 2 if we got Jim Carrey as Stanley again fighting against maybe someone like Walter.

The Mask 1994 is a good film. Despite changes from the source material, but the changes for this vision work. It’s cool this film has a cult following, and the fact I have used elements and story beats from it for The Mask Rebirth stuff I’ve been talking about. Even before watched this whole movie.

It’s a genuine fun flick. But I’m hoping down the line, if Warner Bros stops being fucking stupid with how they run things. Maybe we’ll get a reboot or how about an animated film that seems more true to the source material.

I know The Mask/Big Head doesn’t have a big legacy such as the likes of Superman, Batman, and Spider-Man. But I do think this series could be reimagined and expanded upon. Using elements not only from the original comics, but even the movie and cartoon.

And...despite it was because of Ace Ventura...I would like to thank @kaijuguy19 for being such a supportive dude, and talking about this franchise with me. Including wanting to talk about this movie long ago when I haven’t seen it. But I want to say...no...he’s one of the big reasons why I’m a fan. Because he’s one of the only guys I know who’s a fan. It started with Ace Ventura, but it was because of talking with Kaijuguy that I guess things started to escalate. So thanks man for talking about this stuff with me.

Also, Charlie was silly and he was fine as a character. I forgot about that dude despite wanting to talk about him. Gonna tag him too in case. Charlie schumaker

#GeekGem Rambles #the mask #the mask 1994 #jim carrey #stanley ipkiss #dorian tyrell #mitch kellaway #tina carlyle #peggy brandt #cameron diaz #amy yasbeck #peter greene #big head #charles russell #charlie schumaker

37 notes · View notes

libsterslobsters · 3 years

Text

Whole Lotta Love

Synopsis: For some people, Valentine’s Day is another word for "stress", especially when you don't know what the other person is expecting. Several years into their relationship, Bucky’s pretty sure he has a good understanding of the Reader, until a word from Sam makes him question everything he thinks he knows. The race is on to make their first Valentine’s Day since saying their vows a special one, but as per usual, fate has it's own ideas about what will make the holiday truly memorable

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem! Enhanced! Super-soldier Reader

(Reader can see bits and pieces of the future in visions as well as speak every language)

Warnings: Smut, Fluff

Author's note: This fic contains references to earlier stories. For more information, click the series masterlist link. As always, the reader is unnamed so that this can be read as a self-insert, but at this point, I think of her as an OC.

The song referenced is Hearts Don't Break Around Here by Ed Sheeran

Series Masterlist

A The Song Remains The Same Fic

---------‐-----------------------------------

“So, Valentine’s Day.”

Bucky doesn’t look up from his laptop (or more specifically, the field report he’s typing) at Sam’s words. Despite his concentration, he can tell that his partner is staring at him, boring holes into his back with his gaze.

“Uh-huh.” He’s listening, but so far, he doesn’t care.

“What are you doing for it?” For Valentine’s day? Um…

“Not much.” It’s a Tuesday this year, right? Then probably working, like most other people, he’d imagine.

The room is silent as he types, so Bucky assumes that settles the matter. That is, until Sam mutters a quiet, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“About what?” How many paragraphs does he have to type before he can pass this off as a full report? When he joined the Avengers, he thought the hardest part of his job would be the bad guy of the week, not doing paperwork!

“You’re really not doing anything for Valentine’s Day? Seriously?” He nods absentmindedly and clicks the save icon. He’ll finish this tomorrow. It’s five o’clock. Time to head home. Home to-

“What’s your wife gonna think about that?” He shrugs and cuts the power to the laptop.

“She thinks that the whole holiday is a rip-off. See you Monday?” He turns around for confirmation, only to catch Sam staring at him, mouth hanging wide open. “What?”

“A rip-off?” Is he just going to be stuck repeating himself?

“Yep.” Told him that the first February 14th they spent together.

“And you actually believed her?”

He nods. “She’s not one to lie.”

Sam nods incredulously. “Uh-huh. And are you planning to ever have sex again?”

He’s not going to dignify that with an answer (because really, isn’t it obvious?).

“Fine.” Sam shrugs. “You do you, man. All I’m saying is, if I had a wife who looked like that-” he indicates the lock screen of Bucky’s phone (a picture of her laughing, telling him to put away the damn camera after wrestling the dog for the tie to her favorite robe). “-I’d have my V-day plans set up a month in advance.”

Normally Bucky would take what Sam says with a grain of salt, but he is after all a man out of time, so maybe it’s worth considering that his partner may be right.

“What would you suggest I do?”

“Outside of the bedroom?” He narrows his eyes at the Falcon. “Okay, bad joke.” Sam scratches at the back of his head, thinking. “I don’t know, man. That’s your girl. You know her best, but flowers are always a good place to start.” Good to know that hasn’t changed since the 1940s. Although, last time he brought her flowers, she spent the afternoon sneezing until he eventually convinced her that it was okay, he wouldn’t be offended, she should throw the damn things out. Then again, that was before she was a super soldier.

“Flowers.” He repeats, earning a nod from Sam.

“You can get creative. Do a little research. But I’m just saying, when a woman waits five years for you to reappear, the least she deserves is a few flowers.” On that, they can agree.

He must bid Sam some sort of goodbye and make his way through the Avengers compound, but he’s unaware of anything until he’s in the parking lot, sitting behind the wheel of his car, googling “What to do for your wife on Valentine’s Day.” There’s a web page that boasts twenty different selections. Might as well give it a look.

___________________________________________________________________________________

She’s nearly home when her phone dings with a text from Barnes. “Just got in. Forgot to get milk. Can you swing by on your way, or should I go to the gas station and pick up a gallon?” A frown forms on her face. It’s pretty rare that Bucky forgets things. Must’ve been a hell of a day at work, then. Either that, or his brain has completely turned to mush thanks to typing out field reports. Either way-

“I got it. See you in twenty.” She thinks about tacking on a “love you”, but the light turns green before she can.

The grocery store is packed thanks to so many people getting off work. There’s only three carts left, all with bad wheels. She chooses the least squeaky option and, grabbing an add on her way, heads into the grocery store. Milk, and if she remembers right from this morning, they’re running dangerously low on coffee and tea. Despite caffeine having absolutely no effect on their enhanced bodies, both of them are nightmares to be around in the mornings without their beverages of choice. Force of habit and all.

She’s halfway to the checkout when she sees it. A sign, decorated in garish shades of red, pink, and purple. “All Valentine’s Day chocolates 10% off.” Shit. Yeah, that is coming up. To tell the truth, she’d completely forgot all about that day halfway through February. For most of her life, it only meant giving homemade cards at school when most kids had store-bought. Then, once she reached adulthood, it was a reminder that she was destined to be alone. Who would want someone who’s on the run, and what’s more, sees the future? Once she and Barnes got together, it didn’t change much. That first Valentine’s Day, he mentioned the holiday, and she shut it down immediately. They were both broke (or at least, he had no legitimate way of making money while she was broke), and celebrating a mostly commercial holiday seemed like a waste. Plus, she didn’t want to put a strain on a new relationship. Over the years, the subject never came up again, and she’s content for it to stay a non-starter, thank you very much. In her opinion, you should show your partner you love them every day of the year, not shoe-horn it into one twenty-four hour period. Call her unromantic if you must.

She’s completely immune to the various displays of cheap chocolate in heart-shaped boxes and overly sentimental cards as she approaches the register and starts to unload her items. Milk. Tea. That one specific brand of coffee that he likes because, “It tastes like what we drank in basic training. Terrible, but I kinda got used to it, so now everything else tastes like it’s trying too hard.” whatever that means. He’s right; she’s tasted it, and it’s fucking awful. Still, every morning, he drinks at least three cups while she drains her pot of tea.

“You got a hot date for Valentine’s Day, hun?” The cashier asks her, never breaking her rhythm as she rings up the items.

She chuckles. “As a matter of fact, yes.” The cashier’s eye go wide, and she holds up her left hand. “And every other day.”

“Ooh, nice. How long have you been together?”

“Nine years.” Wait… “Or four years, depending on which of us you ask. He blipped, I stayed.”

The cashier nods. “So are you older than him now?”

Physically? They’re not completely sure, but if you calculate the times he was off the ice with HYDRA and add that to the age he was before the serum, then they’re not far off. But chronologically- “No, he’s still older.” And yes, it will always be funny that Sam responds with “Okay, boomer” whenever Bucky makes an outdated reference (even if he’s off by a good twenty years).

With a little more light chatter, she pays for her items and leaves. Now, for home.

As soon as she opens the front door, she’s greeted by their dog, Sarge, barking excitedly and hopping around like he’s on a trampoline despite missing a leg. Bucky’s not far behind, placing a quick peck on her forehead before taking the bags from her and unloading them in the kitchen. Tonight’s his night to cook, but unless her nose has suddenly decided to give out, he hasn’t started dinner yet. She doesn’t mind taking over tonight, and when he sheepishly apologizes while she begins her preparations, she brushes it off. Although, for the second time in an hour, she’s seen proof of his unusual absentmindedness. Oh well. She’ll ask him about it later.

Despite being relieved from tonight’s chef duties, Bucky stays in the kitchen, sitting at the breakfast bar scrolling through his phone as she cooks. His expression is neutral, which can mean one of two things; a) he’s just killing time and there aren’t any interesting posts or articles vying for his attention, or at the opposite end of the spectrum, b) he’s deep in thought, possibly angry, sad, or even frightened, but he’s gone into Winter Soldier mode and shut down so that she won’t pick up on his mood. Damn the man and his poker face.

Eventually dinner is served and she sends him off toward the fridge in search of two beers while she serves their plates. Just as she’s spooning a generous helping of salad into her bowl, it happens. A vision, but a limited one. All she’s seeing is a phone. Well, that and the hand holding it. She’s not sure whether to be proud or embarrassed that she immediately recognizes the hand as Bucky’s, but that goes by the wayside as she takes in the article he’s reading. “Should you do something for Valentine’s Day even is she says no?” It’s a thread on some anonymous discussion board. The reply that has his attention is in reference to a now divorced individual who “was dumb enough to believe that, on our first V-Day as a married couple, she didn’t want anything.” Oh boy. Not good. This will be their first Valentine’s Day since exchanging vows, and if the fact that he’s read this reply (if not already read, will read soon) means that it’s at least crossed his radar that she might be feeding him bullshit. That’s not the case, but after his research, she knows from experience that no matter how much she tries to convince him otherwise, a small part of his mind will be stuck on, “But what if this is a big deal?” Which means-

“Doll, are you just gonna stand there with the salad tongs in your hand?” That snaps her out of it.

“No. Just a vision.” He frowns as she passes him his plate.

“Anything important happen?” Should she say?

“No.” She’s not sure if the smile or not, so she takes a bite from her roll to cover it. “Random sneak peek.” It’s not a lie. What she saw really isn’t important. Still, if he’s in that mindset, she should probably go on and do something for him just in case. After all, why should it only be the ladies who reap this holiday’s benefits?

___________________________________________________________________________________

Not flowers. That’s the one thing that, after copious amounts of research Bucky is one hundred percent certain about. They may still be a common romantic gift, but since they were also a go-to back when he was courting girls in the 1940s, it’s safe to say they’ve been overdone. Plus, he doesn’t really want to remind her of that time she had such a severe allergic reaction to the flowers he picked her on a walk through the park in Bucharest that her eyes nearly swelled shut and she sneezed herself sick. That doesn’t exactly seem like prime romance.

Chocolates or other candies have the same issues as flowers. Contrived and predictable. A bottle of wine is nice, but neither of them can so much as get mildly tipsy thanks to the super serum. The fourteenth is his day to cook, so he guesses he could do some reading and try to create something a little more special than spaghetti (he thought about going to a nice restaurant for dinner, but there’s a few issues with that, not the least of which is they’re likely to be recognized without their disguises, and he’d rather not look at his wife through sunglasses on Valentine’s day), but that seems a little underwhelming.

As he loads the dishwasher (she fell asleep half-way through the third episode of whichever nonsensical comedy they’re watching this week, so he sneaked back downstairs to clean up the dinner dishes), he thinks back to the dozen separate articles he read on the subject of Valentine’s Day gifts. Jewelry was a common theme, but that’s out. She’ll say thank you to his face, but worry about the cost behind his back. Plus, he has absolutely no idea what she’d like, and there’s no sense in purchasing something only for her to hate it.

Another common one was lingerie. Bucky almost choked on his tongue when he saw some of the examples given with that option. None of it looked comfortable (in fact, he’s still scratching his head about how you even put on one of the pieces that popped up on the web page) and he doesn’t want to give her the impression that she has to dress up for him. Even putting all that aside, he has no idea what size she’d even wear. He likes to think that he knows his wife pretty well, but somehow, in all their years together, it never occurred to him to ask her for her clothing sizes. That, and have you even seen the bra sizing system? Does it make sense to anyone, because to Bucky, it’s all gibberish. 32 B? 36 DD? What the hell? Somehow, when HYDRA was training him to extract information, they failed to go over the translation of a woman’s bra size. He supposes he could ask, but he’s not sure there’s a non-suspicious way to work, “Hey, sweetheart. What size are your breasts?” into casual conversation.

Sam said to get creative, so he tried to think outside the box. What’s something she really needs? A new vacuum cleaner is the first thing to come to mind, but he’s not stupid enough to think that would make a good gift. He knows she’s had her eye on a set of throwing stars, but that doesn’t seem to correlate well with what this holiday is all about. That’ll keep until her birthday.

He’s still wracking his brain for anything at all that might work when he feels a wet nose poking at his hand. Sarge. “Hey, boy. Has your mom gone to bed?” The response is a quiet “woof” and lick to his palm. He scratches the mutt behind the ears, smiling to himself as Sarge’s back leg thumps at the treatment.

“What do you think we should get our girl? Huh?” There’s no reply (of course not, he’s talking to a dog), but he nods, pretending all the same that Sarge has offered up a suggestion. “A bone. Yeah, somehow I don’t think that’s her thing. Try again.” The dog blinks at him lazily. “No, you’re the one who wants new tennis balls. Not Mom. Although you’re right about her liking peanut butter.” At this rate, he might as well get her a bone and some tennis balls, because he’s sure not coming up with any ideas.

She likes music. The thought pops into his head while he’s brushing his teeth. All sorts of music. Over the years, he’s tried to make sense of the songs he’s heard her listen to, but has yet to find a discernible pattern in her listening habits. She doesn’t seem to stick to just one genre or era. More like she picks songs by how they relate to what she’s feeling at the moment. Wait a second-

“A mixtape.” His reflection mouths the words back at him. Despite technology having moved on from the days of burning CDs, she still has a thick stack of the disks stored in a cabinet and plays them on the regular. He’s even seen a few that she made herself, pasting together the songs she likes to make a “Cleaning mix”, “Workout Mix” and “Pissed off Mix”. Bucky’s sure he could figure out how to burn a CD, but it’s not like she’d be able to listen to that everywhere she went. That leaves a playlist. She uses one of those apps to listen to music on her phone, right? Surely he can put something together for her using that.

Quietly, he climbs into bed next to his sleeping wife and pulls her back against his chest, slinging one arm over her waist as usual. He closes his eyes, but his mind is alight with activity. A playlist. Of course. He’ll put some extra effort into whatever he cooks that night, stop by a bakery and pick up some sweet treats for dessert. Hell, maybe they’ll both dress up and act like they’re on a date. Then, once they’re sitting down to their meal, he’ll pull out his phone and hit play. It’s perfect. At least, he hopes it is.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Putting on a lacy bra and panties set underneath her regular work attire seemed like a brilliant idea this morning. Today’s a short day; she’s only got three classes to teach, and Rhodey called last night to tell Bucky that he’s suspending work hours at three pm “Since most people have holiday preparations to make.” Her plan was to be waiting on the sofa in the living room when he arrives home, professional button-down blouse open just enough for him to get a good look at what’s underneath, pencil skirt pushed up enough to reveal the stockings and garters she’s donned for the occasion. It’s fun, with just enough cheesiness to match this whole holiday. And, well, it’s a guarantee that by the end of the night they’ll be in bed together, both rumpled, sweaty, and satisfied. Perfect, right?

Wrong. On her drive to work, her skimpy underwear began to ride up, giving her a wedgie, and there was no way to adjust without running the risk of wrecking. She was so distracted by her discomfort that she missed her exit, and by the time she arrived at the college, she was running so behind that she didn’t get the chance to run to the bathroom and readjust. Her lecture on sentence diagrams was pure torture before the underwire from her bra decided to join in the fun and poke her directly in the ribs, but with that addition, she was especially impatient with her students’ tendency to joke around a little too much in class.

Luckily, she had just enough time to wrap the exposed metal bit in tissues before her next class, which eliminated the pain in her chest, but did nothing to alleviate the discomfort once her stockings began to slide down, having at some point disconnected themselves from the garters. She taught like that for the next two classes, but as soon as they were over, she pealed the whole ensemble off in the teacher’s restroom and changed into her gym clothes. Alright, screw the whole seduction routine. She needs to blow off some steam and fast, or else she’ll be in a bad mood all night.

That’s why, thirty minutes later, she finds herself in the training room of the Avengers compound, working over a punching bag. “Fuck-” Her fist connects, making the bag swing crazily from it’s hook. “-this- whole- day!” It goes sailing, and she feels a little better.

“Ouch!” The voice comes from behind her and she whirls around, gaze resting on-

“Sam.” The man in question holds up his hands in an “I surrender” gesture.

“Don’t shoot! I come in peace.” Rolling her eyes, she holds up her middle finger, receiving a snicker in acknowledgment.

“Just working off a little frustration before I head home.”

“Good.” Sam chuckles. “’cause otherwise, I’d be worried that when Barnes pulls out his dick tonight, you’ll bite it off.” She thinks about telling him that there’s no chance of that, but she might just cut off his if he crosses her. However, that jogs her memory.

“Has he left yet?” Sam nods.

“About an hour ago. Said he had to pick up groceries.” Shit. There goes her plan to shower, throw the damn lingerie back on and proceed as planned.

Bidding Sam a hasty reply, she makes tracks towards her car and, once inside, heads for home. Fine. New plan. She’ll shower once she arrives and then when the evening is drawing to a close, wait for him in bed. Nodding to herself, she puts the car in park and climbs out. Now, to psych herself up enough in the next few hours to put the damn lingerie back on.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Where did he go wrong? It takes all of Bucky’s self control not to spit out the spoonful of sauce he just tasted. This was supposed to be an easy recipe for Chicken Alfredo (or at least, that’s what the website boasted; he should’ve known better than to get his information from the internet and stuck to a good old-fashioned cookbook from the library). Not… whatever the hell this is. Maybe even if the sauce is nauseating, the chicken is okay?

He pulls open the oven door, and immediately smoke billows out, making his eyes water. Okay, chicken’s a little well-done. Who is he kidding? Black. The chicken is burned black. And the pasta… he lifts the pot lid and stirs, only to come to the realization that the pasta is completely stuck to the bottom of the pot. Wonderful.

It’s inevitable; over the years, he’s had his fair share of cooking disasters, but usually he does okay. Tonight though… who the hell up there did he piss off, because the only explanation for how badly this is going is his karma coming due.

Still holding the offending spoon, he looks over at Sarge, who’s staring at him, long pink tongue sticking out as he pants. “Trust me, boy. You don’t want any of this.” There has to be something else he can pull together on short notice. Normally he’d be worried that she’s running late without so much as a text, but today he’s relieved. At least if she’s running behind he’ll have time to… what? Maybe order takeout? Before she gets-

“I’m home.” Shit.

Sarge yips, shaking with excitement, and starts towards the kitchen door, then turns back, uncertain. “Go on. I know you’re dying to jump on her and lick her face.” Something they really should be training out of him because he’s getting too big for that sort of behaviour but, well… there’s a reason they call them “puppy dog eyes.”

Not needing to be coaxed, the dog takes off, tripping a little in the momentary lapse in his memory that he’s a tripod, but easily catches himself and goes on his merry way, leaving Bucky to clean up his mess. From the sound of things, a game of fetch is going on in the living room, so she should be distracted for a while.

He manages to pour the sauce down the drain and scrape most of the pasta into the trash while Sarge is acting as a decoy, but there’s absolutely no way he can dispose of the chicken without tipping her off (damn enhanced senses, it’s a wonder she hasn’t already smelled it). Finally, he decides to just go for it. She’s going to notice whether he throws it out now or two hours from now. Might as well get a head start on cleaning.

Sure enough, not ten seconds after he empties out the oven, he catches a movement in his peripheral vision, and the familiar sound of her breathing tips him off that he’s no longer alone.

“Hey, Doll.”

“Hey, Bucky. Did something burn in here, or-” He holds up the pan for her inspection before continuing his scraping.

“That’s one way to put it, yeah.” He slams the lid back on the trashcan and turns on the tap, intent on rinsing out the pan. “Another is whoever the god of culinary arts is has it in for me today.”

She chuckles. “You know, that would be funnier if we didn’t actually know a god.”

“Yeah, but he’s in control of thunder.” He meets her eyes, smirking slightly. “Although it did look like I electrocuted the bird.” Her lips quirk up into a smile, and he takes the opportunity to kiss her, cupping the back of her head gently to hold her in place when she tries to move away, muttering something about being sweaty.

He’s not entirely sure how it happened, but by the time they come up for air, her back his pressed against the wall and he’s got her pinned in place. Not that he’s complaining.

“Anyone ever tell you that the tip of your nose turns pink after you’ve been kissed?’ Her cheeks go rosey in response.

“I think so. One guy did. I told him it’s only when I’m kissed properly.”

He really would like to continue the playful banter, but there’s still the small matter of whatever it is they’re going to eat.

“What do you feel like for dinner tonight?”

“Apart from electrocuted chicken?” He responds with a swat to her ass, which earns him a snicker. “Let’s keep it simple. Pizza. Your choice of toppings.” Right, that’s easy enough. Plus, if they have to wait longer than thirty minutes, it’s free.

“Okay. I’ll order while you shower?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

He’s just pulled up the menu on his phone when the sound of her clearing her throat attracts his attention. She’s standing in the doorway, combing through her freshly let down hair with her fingers, a playful look in her eyes.

“Or you could join me. Just a mild suggestion.”

Dinner can wait for a while.

___________________________________________________________________________________

The Brooklyn townhouse they live in has many nice features. There’s a functional if small screened in back porch, big enough to hold a table for two and a grill. Two bedrooms, on the off chance someone from work needs to crash for a night or two. A kitchen with a dishwasher. A working fireplace. Good closet space. And an en suite bathroom.

Maybe it’s a little ridiculous to call a bathroom luxurious, especially when, in comparison to what’s featured in many brownstones, it’s more than modest, but she can’t help but think of it as such. There’s a double sink so that in the morning rush to get ready, Bucky’s able to shave and brush his teeth without having to wait for her to finish applying her makeup. Shelving above the toilet makes certain that even if the last person to shower took the towel with them, another one is on hand. Speaking of the shower, it’s not the largest one in the world, but both of them can fit in comfortably at the same time, which is what’s lead to their current situation.

She’s just finished allowing the water to course over her body, easing the sweat from her skin, and is about to begin the process of washing her hair, scrubbing her body, but she hesitates. She might as well ask. It’s only practical after all.

“Do you want to start now or get cleaned up and have dinner beforehand?” It’s obvious what she’s referring to, so she doesn’t bother to spell it out.

His brown knits, and if she didn’t know him as… intimately… as she does, she’d actually believe he’s confused.

“Oh, so you’re just assuming there’s gonna be sex involved at some point tonight?”

She shrugs, wringing out her hair.

“Seemed like a safe enough bet.” She glances pointedly between the two of them. “After all, we’re already undressed. “

His laugh is a quiet huff, barely discernible over the sound of the water. “Then I’d say start now, have dinner, then go for round two. Sound about right to you?”

She nods. “Solid plan.”

“Then get over here.”

Unlike the welcome home kiss they shared not half an hour ago, this one is less tender, more electric. Hands twist in hair, bodies press together. Tongues begging for entrance quickly give way to teeth nipping at bottom lips, an unspoken sparring match for who’ll be in control this time around. Ultimately he wins, grasping her hips and lifting as she wraps her legs securely around his back.

There’s no need for prep; the teasing of their earlier words is foreplay enough. Back pressed against the wall, her body easily welcomes him in as she braces one arm against the glass shower doors for balance. Any concerns about slipping and falling wash away as they move together like so many times before. She’s sure her nails will leave marks on his back, fingertips digging in for purchase and it’s a guarantee her hips will be littered with fingerprints from his grip, but she can’t find it in her to care, and if the desperate, bruising kiss assaulting her lips is anything to judge from, neither can he.

“So damn good, Doll.” It’s panted against her neck. “Always. So damn perfect for me.” All she can manage is a moan in response.

She feels him twitch inside of her and knows he’s close. So is she, but she can’t quite get there without-

As if he’s read her mind, he reaches between them to touch her where she needs it most, and on instinct, she readjusts, locking her arm around his neck to stay in place. “Let go, sweetheart. Can you do that for me?” She couldn’t disobey if she wanted to.

“Fuck.” As her walls contract around him, he pulls out just in time to paint her middle with his release.

“That’s one word for it.” She’s still fighting to catch her breath, but she shoots him a shaky smirk, which he returns.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Mrs. Barnes.” Snickering, she releases him to stand on unsteady legs and pecks his legs.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Mr. Barnes.” Maybe there’s something to this holiday after all.

___________________________________________________________________________________

“You want the last slice?” Bucky considers it for a moment before deciding-

“Nah. You can have it.” It may not be exactly what he planned, but it’s been a good night. Between the two of them, they’ve gone through two large pizzas while watching the new version of Beauty and the Beast (she rolled her eyes when he asked if this was her way of saying he reminds her of a certain hairy, horned character) in their pajamas.

“No, really. You take it. I don’t want it.” She nudges the mostly-empty pizza box towards him. The noise makes Sarge lift his head from where he was snoozing beside her on the sofa. That gives him an idea.

“I don’t want it either, but I can think of someone who does.” He cocks his head towards the now-drooling dog. “How ‘bout it, boy? Wanna help us out?”

Snickering, she picks the pepperonis and pieces of sausage and ham from the pizza, forming a pile. “Here, Sarge. Catch.” She tosses a coveted treat in the air, and Sarge’s jaw snaps, swallowing it whole. “Good boy.”

They sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes before she speaks again.

“You know, I actually did have something planned for you.”

“Oh, yeah?” She nods.

“Absolutely. Had a whole seduction plan laid out. Tiny underwear, lacy bra, and stockings with garters included.” Huh. Guess she wouldn’t have taken the “lingerie” option the wrong way. He’ll file that away for future use… along with a mental note to ask her bra size. “That is, until I tried wearing the damn things for longer than an hour. Turns out, hiding a dirty secret under your clothes is more itchy than sexy.”

He can’t help it. He laughs, producing a pout from her which quickly turns into her own quiet laughter.

“Well, that fits in perfectly with my fancy dinner going up in smoke.”

“We really do have shitty luck with the whole “romance” thing.” She’s joking, but he decides to respond anyway.

“I don’t know about that.” Entwining his fingers with hers, he lifts their hands, twin wedding bands catching the light. “You waited five years for me to reappear after the blip, and I convinced you to elope with me. Seems pretty romantic.” Although, that reminds him…

“Don’t move.” Releasing her hand, he stands and goes in search of his phone.

“Bucky, what-”

“Don’t move, Doll. Stay right where you are.” Ah. On the kitchen counter, just where he left it. Jogging back into the room, he resumes his place on the couch next to her. Ignoring her questioning gaze, he pulls up the app and, selecting the correct playlist, hits play.

Immediate recognition blooms on her face at the opening lyrics. “She is the sweetest thing that I know. Should see the way she holds me when the lights go low.” He’s not one for modern music, but when he was googling “songs for Valentine’s Day” and this one popped up, he couldn’t help but think that the lyrics were fitting.

“I didn’t know you’d heard this one.”

He chuckles. “Even old men have a few tricks up their sleeves. That, and a wifi connection.” She rolls her eyes but leans closer, which he takes advantage of to show her the playlist.

“This is the app you use, right?” Receiving a nod, he continues. “Feel free to scroll through and add whatever you want. I haven’t listened to all of them the whole way through, but they seemed to fit the mood.”

Her hand closes over his, covering the phone. “Thank you, Bucky. It’s perfect.”

As the singer goes on about how hearts don’t break around here, he presses his lips against hers.

“I love you, Doll.”

“Love you.”

Not bad for a disastrous Valentine’s Day. Not bad at all.

#marvel #the avengers #bucky fanfic #bucky x original female character #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #captain america #the winter soldier #bucky barnes smut #smut #fluff

77 notes · View notes

luverofralts · 3 years

Text

Post Arkhelios

She had put on a positive face for Abe, but internally Ulyssa was extremely conflicted about her feelings for Roman. She knew that he legitimately cared about Abe, but also knew how self absorbed Roman could be. It was the Bellamy way to act like they were above everyone else and Roman had learned a lot from his grandfather. It seemed like Abe was the only person able to cut through the Bellamy brainwashing and get Roman to feel. In the corner of her mind, Ulyssa wondered how Roman would have treated the situation if she had gotten pregnant from their brief affair or if he’d ever been able to seduce her idiot brother. Probably even worse than this, if she was being honest with herself.

Her feelings towards Roman were always in flux because of the huge wall that he put up between him and the world. She was never sure if she actually liked Roman or was attracted to him, or felt pity for him, or if she secretly enjoyed their little arguments. Maybe Abe could help bring that wall down permanently one day, or at the very least, keep Roman from pissing people off so frequently.

Ulyssa left an hour later, after making sure Abe was in an okay place about his boyfriend. If she wasn’t sure about her feelings about Roman, she at least was starting to see Abe and Lucy as friends because of all of this. In a place like Arkhelios, teen friendships seemed to be rare, and however this all ended, Ulyssa was glad that she had gotten to better know the Chuns. Between this secret, and their parents running off together, she knew that if she needed support, she could actually find some back in Arkhelios.

Abe had gone to bed immediately after Ulyssa left, if only to have some time for himself away from Lucy’s over protectiveness. His mind was swirling with thoughts and feelings that he needed to process by himself without her open anger at Roman. To be honest though, he was starting to feel influenced by her remarks. Maybe Roman wasn’t coming back after all. Maybe he would return to school, and only see his family over school breaks.

An even worse feeling came over him suddenly. What if he brought home someone else from Pleasantview? Even if it had been arranged by his grandfather without Roman’s input, Abe wasn’t sure that he could live in an Arkhelios where Roman was engaged to some rich sim and forgot about all about him. He knew Lucy thought about this possibility all the time, and it had been Roman’s mission to bring new people here by any means necessary....

Abe buried his head in his pillow and groaned. This was a line of thought for tomorrow, when he didn’t feel so hopeless.

His bedroom door squeaked open, and Abe figured that it was just Lucy checking on him again. He turned on his side and pretended to be asleep, so she wouldn’t stay to make even more pitying remarks about Roman’s intentions.

“Abe? Are you awake?”

Abe bolted up quickly in his bed. He’d know that voice anywhere!

“Roman! You’re here! I can’t believe it!”

Against all odds, Roman was actually standing in Abe’s bedroom. Unless this was some kind of magical hallucination or trick, Abe had been right about Roman’s feelings for him.

Roman looked awkwardly at his feet.

“....Hi. How are you?” Roman cursed himself internally for being so awkward. It was just Abe after all. Still, it felt weird to talk to him now without bringing up the elephant in the room.

“Lucy was convinced that you were half-way to Veronaville by now.”

Roman flushed furiously. Neither teen moved for fear of spooking the other one. Abe could feel the tension in the room like it was physically pressing on him.

“I just needed some time,” Roman said. “I shouldn’t have run...but I’m here now. I want to be there for you...if you still want me to be.”

The tension began to ease. Abe quickly crossed the distance between them and grabbed Roman’s hands, placing them on his ever expanding stomach.

“Of course I still want you here!” he said fiercely. “It’s all I’ve been wanting since I found out about this...situation.”

The two teens sat on the floor and looked at the ground. Neither one seemed to know what to say. Roman reached for Abe’s hand, which caused Abe to jump and Roman quickly withdrew his own hand. Touching each other was what had caused this situation in the first place, and Abe still had Lucy’s warnings ringing in his head. Maybe if Roman had come immediately things would have been fine, but Abe had been freaking out alone for days now, and there was still awkwardness between them. Roman cleared his throat.

“H-how have things been?”

“The morning sickness has gotten a lot better, thank god,” Abe replied, and Roman nodded sympathetically.

“That sounds rough.” He made and held eye contact with Abe. “I’m sorry that I took so long to get here. I...I’m sorry that I put you in this position to start with. I never intended for this to happen.”

Abe reached for his hand without hesitation this time.

“I know,” he said. “Neither did I. It’s been kind of a roller coaster of feelings the past few days.”

“My uncle Hunter is adopted,” Roman blurted out suddenly. “His dad was Launce Durant, and my grandparents adopted him.”

Abe realized where this conversation was heading, and he was glad that Roman brought it up first. He had heard the Durants talking about their long lost half-brother before, and everyone wondered who Hunter’s other parent had been. Abe’s mom used to date Launce, but everyone knew how Launce’s life had spiraled out of control when his brother Benvolio died. Any one could be Hunter’s mother or father. Elaine had certainly not commented on Hunter’s origins, and Abe figured that if he had a half-brother out there, she would have probably mentioned it by now.

“When I worked at the orphanage, the kids seemed pretty happy,” Roman continued, playing absentmindedly with his shoelaces. “Some of them got adopted really quickly. I don’t think anyone here would know if...if we went there.”

Tears were starting to well up for both teens. Abe nodded and wiped his eyes.

“Yeah, no one would know,” he repeated sadly. “Maybe that’s best. Hunter seems really happy, and Launce sees him all the time now.”

Abe crawled back into his bed, and Roman mindlessly followed. Abe wrapped himself around Roman and tried not to cry.

“Roman? I don’t want to be like Launce,” he whispered. “Stay with me? We can figure this out together. What’s the difference of our families finding out about us now instead of when we’re in college? It’s only a few years.”

Roman froze momentarily, remembering his grandfather’s anger at the idea of him even talking to the Chuns, and the disappointment of his grandmother for not heeding her warnings about him following his hormones. He thought of how intensely Elaine watched him while he was near Abe, and what Lucy and Ulyssa surely thought of him by now.

He pulled Abe in closer to him.

“Okay,” he vowed. “We’ll do this together. Who cares about who knows.”

Elaine left for work early in the morning, blissfully unaware of the teenage drama brewing in her house. Oriana had pressing business at the bank for Abraham’s estate, and hitched a ride downtown with her wife, leaving the house in Ironman’s control. He had been acting a little dodgy lately when she talked about the kids, but she chalked it up to him readjusting to having Elaine back in his life, and getting to know the kids he had never seen because of Elaine and Abraham’s fighting.

Ironman purposely started his house cleaning away from the noisy kitchen, where he could hear Lucy shouting. Better to have plausible deniability and not check into that, he decided. He wasn’t sure to what extent his programming would allow him to keep information from his partner, so knowing nothing was probably the safer route. He felt that Oriana and Elaine would have more compassion than Abraham had shown for Elaine all those years ago, but he didn’t want to risk history repeating itself.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Lucy was shouting presumably at some one who didn’t normally live there, and was therefore a part of this messy situation. Ironman made himself scarce before he found out more.

Jorah had come over to walk to school with Lucy like he usually did, and was currently holding her back from attacking Roman.

“It’s romantic, he sighed dreamily. “Two people from fighting families falling in love and running off to start a life together....”

Finding Roman making pancakes for her brother was the last thing Lucy had expected to see that morning. The fact that they were acting so weirdly in love, and holding each other like they had planned this whole mess...It was impossible to stomach. Roman abandoned Abe for days and now here he was making a mess of the kitchen and spouting off syrupy declarations of love to her idiot brother.

“Jorah you can’t be buying this,” she groaned. “This is ridiculous! This isn’t a Veronaville soap opera, it’s real life and you two are about to ruin both of yours. Don’t let Roman drag you down like this Abe. He may have hit rock bottom, but you still have a future!”

“I haven’t hit rock bottom,” Roman corrected while flipping pancakes. “Dropping out of school means that I have time to be a dad now, and I can make breakfast for Abe every day.”

“Dropping out? You are being expelled,” Lucy corrected angrily. “And you have no money, no job and now no education. Where are you going to live? How are you going to pay for things like diapers and you know, basic things like food?”

Abe poked at his pancakes nervously.

“Well, Mom might let us stay,” he said. “Or the Bellamys. I’m sure they’d understand, and want to help raise their grandkid.”

“You think Mom is going to let Roman Bellamy live in our house? You think the Bellamys won’t just kick you to the curb? Look at how they’ve treated Adam his whole life. Look at how they’re treating him and Omar now!”

“But this would be different,” Abe protested. “Our families could come together now and be happy. Romeo and Juliet’s love always ends the fighting in the stories.”

Lucy just stared at her brother, unable to comprehend his line of thinking.

“No, you know what brings Romeo and Juliet’s families together? Death and lots of it.” She pointed at Abe with intensity. “If you decide to bring this idiot to Mom or walk into Salem Bellamy’s house with a baby, that’s all you will get too. If you are really serious about ruining your life, then go anywhere but here with Roman. Go to Pleasantview. Go live out your stupid fantasy in Veronaville. Just leave before you become yet another unsolved murder here.”

Lucy stood up dramatically, dragging an open mouthed Jorah with her.

“Some of us still have school to attend.”

#ts2 #sims 2 #arkhelios #post arkhelios #Roman Bellamy #Abe chun #lucy chun #sorry for the novel #minor arkhelios spoilers #sims 2 pictures

9 notes · View notes

shinjukuspiritcommittee · 3 years

Text

Top 20 2021

My Favorites (updated)

Hello my readers, it’s been a while since I just posted something not related to a headcanon and I am doing one right now. I just wanted to take a bit of a break to just get SOMETHING on here on my days off work. Plus I’m just trying to find my groove when it comes to writing again so hopefully this helps me just get back into the mood of making a post more often lol. I wanted to revisit this topic for a while just because we’ve had a lot more events and a lot more alts in the game were added. And I know for a fact LifeWonders reads these posts in some capacity because I have meme’d an AR into the game with my top picks from the last list I did for Christmas 2019. No I didn’t. I’m just joking around and I know LifeWonders doesn’t read this.

Anyways rather than just make up a list on the spot like last year I decided to use the Housamo Sortmaker (Link: https://club.housamo.xyz/sortmaker/ ) to try and make a list that’s more revealing to what I was thinking at the time. Since I talked about 20 characters ish last time I’m just gonna read from my 20th place to my 1st place spots and try to justify whatever I was thinking at the time. Anyways-

20: Marchosias and Susan: This one was a surprise for me if I’m being honest but I’m just gonna blame the fact on Shukou’s recent involvement with LifeWonders in the form of Live A Hero and how Ryekie and Mokdai live in my headspace rent free whenever I think about the characters in that game. Maybe we can see about getting some LAH headcanons since that’s a LifeWonders property too). So out of all the characters Shukou drew for Housamo why did I pick Marchosias? Easy, it’s been 4 years and this poor man has yet to receive a proper alt or any kind of skin for that matter and I think that it’s a crime. Sure he’s not my favorite but he’s definitely grown on me because he’s just a gentle dad kind of character and his design has grown on me over the years. I just hope he doesn’t get left behind since he has a lot of really interesting and potential things to look forward to in the future given how the main story has unfolded.

19: Shiva/Algernon: The helmet heads are together because DAI XT quickly became my favorite artist for Fire Emblem Heroes and I really just like their designs. DAI XT just knows how to draw robots, armor and muscles well. Also Chapter 11 with Shiva you can read into some interesting perspectives. I don’t want to spoil any of the untranslated content for anyone who’s waiting for the official english translation. But if you are curious Roureem has a blogspot where he posts summaries of the newly released events.

Link: https://housamosummaries.blogspot.com/

18: Cthugha: I love this goober so much. He’d constantly try to act super sentai just trying say good morning everyday. He may not be very bright but that just adds to his charm and honestly I enjoy how he always tries to play the hero in a lot of scenarios because it’s refreshing when they implement him after a bunch of heavy hitting story stuff. I’m not gonna spoil too much about it but I will say he’s more than welcome after everything Chapter 10 and 11 put the reader through.

17: Mineaki: I’ve made a post about him being one of my least favorites way back when I first started this blog and let me just say how times have changed and I’ve learned the value of not judging a book by it’s cover. I still think there’s something a bit off about Kowmei’s style for his characters, but Mineaki has definitely grown on me. He’s a caring instructor who does watch out for his students even if it’s not always in the most direct way possible. Not to get into too many spoilers he’s got a lot of intrigue around him as well and I am curious to see his role get expanded down the line.

16: Ded: Housamo is the reason I really like christmas. The Christmas stories despite following a similar structure to each other do tend to be my favorite stories. Ded himself is also just another good dad character. He’s also two guys for the price of one, so I mean… you know… you’ve got the forever ask your other dad situation. There wasn’t much thought put into this choice I just like santa as a concept because I think the outfits are cute, it’s always nice to get something for people you care about on Christmas and Ded is the perfect embodiment of both sides to Christmas.

15: Shinya: Everyone we need to manifest buff Shinya for 2021, this is not a drill. This is legitimate. We must make Taromati’s and my wish come true. To be more serious again he’s just a sweet and gentle character. He’s also drawn by my favorite Housamo artist. Their characters always just look so naturally good. I’m just surprised he hasn’t gotten much of an alt given he’s perfect material for Valentine’s day. He’s just a soft boy and I would love for him to be in more things because I just enjoy seeing him.

14: Jacob: I have to be honest Jacob is on here because every time I look at him he just gets more handsome to me. I wasn’t all that impressed with his introduction and we don’t know much about his background but I’ve just been drawn to him more and more. Maybe it’s just because he’s drawn by GomTang? I just like looking at him and I can’t help it. To speak a bit less crass he’s another gentleman kind of guy and those are always nice.

13: Shennong: Yeah I like the doc a lot. Firstly, I’m a huge sucker for big bulls and Shennong fits the bill. The white fur really adds to his appeal visually and the purple horns give off a bit of an unnatural appearance. Shen feels like someone who’s been touch starved and alone for a long time given how he acts as a character and when we actually hug him I just lost it. He always has others well being on his mind so he’s not afraid to jump in and help, or give a much needed lecture about when you need to take better care of yourself. He just comes across as very well balanced overall.

12: Heracles: I won’t lie- at first he didn’t interest me much. He looked incredibly plain when among the rest of the cast and he seemed like the typical “bait” character since the banner had Echo, Barguest, Gyumao and Snow. But after reading the translation for Valentine Time Slip I was taken aback at how much of a gentle giant he turned out to be and I just really liked his interactions with the others in that event. And honestly his special quest from that year was one of the more unique ones given the slower pace and more romantic vibe it had. After the event warmed my heart I did a complete 180 and I just knew I really liked him.

11. Yasuyori: Before I start praising him I feel I have to justify why he didn’t quite make top 10 and it will have some mild Chapter 10 spoilers. To be as vague as possible his resolution just didn’t vibe with me at the end of Chapter 10. Like it wasn’t a bad resolution and it was the right choice to make but in my opinion there really wasn’t a moment I felt was clear where he made a choice for himself. Everything just sort of happened around him and it felt like he didn’t really do much to improve his situation. To an extent I kind of see that being the idea given his origins and the story he’s based on and there is some semblance of him coming to terms with himself alongside his isolation being portrayed pretty well, but I just wasn’t satisfied with it as much as I would like to be. With that out of the way, oh my god I just want this boy to never stop smiling and I just want to give him hugs constantly please he just deserves to be happy!!! Yasuyori is a character who’s got a lot of baggage and he’s just trying to find ways to properly cope with his trauma and not repeat past mistakes and I just really like that idea. His role in Xmas 2020 (sorry I just forgot the name of that event, but its when he gets his alt) was a much better representation for his character in my eyes. I’m not gonna spoil anything like I keep saying but he isn’t one to disappoint in future appearances and I just hope this lovable lug keeps getting the support he deserves.

10: Hephaestus: A spicy way to start the latter half of the list. I just want to give this lad a hug and tell him he is worthy of love. But at the same time he is a little shit… and I love that. I can’t fully explain why I grow a paternal instinct in me seeing this grown man sob about his mother but I just do. I want to keep him safe and give him all the affection he wants. Though I am aware a lot of Hephaestus’s interest in his parental figure is… questionable. I am just gonna say I would accept his love for what it is and he just wants approval.

9. Shuten: I’ll be honest I have no proper reason for why I like Shuten so much. He’s just a cool and reliable guy. He just seems like a go with the flow kind of person most of the time and he’s a bit more direct than most of the characters which I always appreciate. Plus I have an unspoken bias for naop guys in Housamo.

8. Durga: While not number 1 on this list, I still really like Durga. She’s quirky but not to an annoying degree, she’s determined and definitely very confident in her own abilities. Her growing to be more sociable throughout her events is something I enjoy seeing because it really creates this sense of growth.

7. Kyuma: I get a lot of people don’t like Kowmei’s art but I really think we should look past it because Kyuma is one of the sweeter picks. He’s someone who just wants to prove himself for his own worth and not what David can provide, but David is part of him and it just creates the potential for a good arc. Plus this boy is unintentionally smooth and will just take your heart when possible. I honestly want to see Kyuma more in events because he’s honestly the jock that carries 3 of the 4 brain cells. He’s also the last one without an alt so I’m just hoping he gets one in 2021 because he really deserves one in my opinion. (Also fan art makes him really cute).

6. Tomte: Tomte is relatively new but honestly his event in 2019 really endeared me to him. I’m trying to be spoiler free because the best way to enjoy these stories is for yourselves but let me just say his arc in the event was really endearing to me and much more than I was expecting. His fan service is also incredibly hammy and I love it. Visually Tomte is one of my favorites, I love his multi colored hair and starlit pupils cuz it makes his otherwise more generic look have some flare. I knew I liked him out the box and when I read about him in the summaries and can’t wait to read the official translation for him. I was just very endeared.

5. Tetsuya: Tetsuya fucks. Moving on…

Jokes aside this one’s a bit simple. I have no shame in admitting I think he’s attractive and his whole resistance towards wanting a relationship is cute in a weird roundabout way. When he says no I just want it MORE. I just really like duo haired tsunderes.

4. Kengo: Kengo 3rd alt 2021. Please LifeWonders I need my favorite Summoner. He’s a bro and that’s what counts. Kengo has got your back, not afraid to rely on you, a very fun and dynamic guy. Sure he’s not that bright when it comes to making plans or any book smart, but there are times where he’s the best at being able to read the room or just understand what someone needs to hear even if it isn’t always what someone wants to hear. His bullheaded nature is actually one of his redeeming qualities because it’s nice to just not overcomplicate things and just understand what’s actually going on. Yes the early story didn’t do many favors for him but to me the events, especially the later ones, do much more work for his character. To me, at least.

3. Ashigara: Ashigara is best bear, and I will defend that stance in 2021. The main thing that draws me to Ashigara is that I can see a bit of myself in him. He gets very emotional when he gets left alone, he’s very loud when with his friends, has a tendency of speaking his mind- just someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. I also appreciate that in spite of the negative he isn’t someone who backs down when the going gets tough and in a few instances he’s able to hold his ground physically at least.

2. Wakan Tanka: Love at first sight. This ray of sunshine still persists as the number 1 husband, but number 2 character. Firstly I am a huge fan of the partial beast aesthetic. The buffalo ears and the horns are absolutely adorable. Secondly he’s a perfect body type; he’s not too muscular but not exactly flabby. Third he is just so positive and I love that. He’s someone I admire and wanna hug.

1. Taurus Mask: The more things change the more they stay the same. I’m still a big Taurus Mask fan for all the same reasons as last time. I just… relate to this boy. He is an incredibly shy boy who uses his public persona for confidence. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but it’s like we’re soul bros!

So yeah, my tastes haven’t changed in a year and a half.

#tokyo afterschool summoners #housamo #Just Thoughts #qna #sfw

37 notes · View notes

fictionkinfessions · 3 years

Text

Some people have been slandering me on other blog(s?) very recently. I would like to explain my side of the situation regarding this. [Thank you to anonymous person who DMed me about this.]

edited 12/2: I mistakenly assumed the 'second server admin' was someone involved with creating or moderating the server. I apologize for making assumptions, and have corrected 'second server admin' to 'second person on behalf of the server' also abbreviated as ‘second person’.

The original server admin was not involved in the slander or misleading ask messages to other blog(s?). I apologize for stating they were. They were not involved with such messages or posts.

I also forgot the first server admin did respond after my refusal. I did purposefully ended the conversation early in order to avoid engaging in system discourse as a singlet. I realize now that I should have been more communicative and clearer on my part. I am sorry I was not, and will take care to do so in the future.

I also want to clarify w/r/t to taking a neutral stance isn’t the best answer to system discourse, and it is taking a side on the conversation whether I intend to as a singlet or not. My intention is to minimize harm caused on my part as a singlet navigating through intracommunity discussions.

Lastly, the concern of lesbophobia has no relation to this server or server admin. I am largely unaware of the origins of these accusations and apologize for mistakenly assigning them to the server admin and server. I’m aware lesbians can be lesbophobic. For the sake of post length and relevance, I omitted this.

note: I'm using they / them because there’s two people involved, and I don't know their respective pronouns. This is not purposeful misgendering. There is a summary on the bottom, but I appreciate anyone who reads this.

This is what happened.

Yesterday, 11/30. someone asked for a server promo for an interest check they sent in. On their server promo post they stated 'no endo systems, no tulpas'.

This blog doesn't promo blogs or servers that prohibit any type of system from joining or interacting with the person's blog or server.

note: this is long and is below the read more.

I informed the person about this rule. They said nothing in response. [correction: they did respond. I purposefully ended the conversation abruptly to avoid engaging in system discourse as a singlet.]

A second person on behalf of the server, came into this blog's DMs requesting a promo, saying they changed their mind about restricting endogenic systems and tulpas from joining them.

I declined to promo their blog again, having private concerns that they were being dishonest about their intentions. This is because their message came within 30 minutes of my response to the original server admin.

If they really hadn't changed their minds, then I would be sending people into a harmful situation. [My response to the second person was, as quoted here, "No, thank you! Good luck with your server!"]

The person immediately became upset and stated that as a singlet I was gatekeeping their server by refusing to engage with them in any form. I explained this rule was a public guideline on this blog's page, it's not a secret requirement, and that I cannot engage in encouraging system discourse since it's not my community.

I am a singlet. People have in the past been rightfully vocal about not giving a platform on this blog to anyone gatekeeping specific types of systems. I understand and respect that this is an intracommunity discussion, and I will not disseminate such content as it's not my place to.

I responded to their message point by point, expounding on what I meant with the promo rules and so forth. I ended my message trying to disengage with the person in a positive manner and go to bed.

This person responded, claiming I was making jokes about needing to be paid to joke about systemcourse. I have a copy of our entire conversation and can verify I never said anything like that.

My last reply to that was to state I was disengaging in case it wasn't clear from the prior message, because communication is tricky over the internet.

I felt it was clear from the conversation that I could offer no further help for them. I felt there was nothing left to explain, that they would continue to put words in my mouth, and they only wanted to berate me. I had no further contact with them as I went to bed.

As for the dishonesty and rumors those two have tried to spread about me:

I have not invalidated any type of system in private dms or publicly anywhere. I have never said a type of system was the only correct one, or more legitimate than others. I have never tried to inform anyone about systems as if I knew more than them. [correction: I have and I will apologize for it summarily in another post.]

I have not told anyone to not make servers or promo posts for their servers.

Not promoting a server isn't lesbophobia.

I have never said anything lesbophobic or discussed anything about lgbt identities to anyone regarding system discourse, their system, or anything like that.

I'm a transmisogyny exempt nonbinary lesbian. I have never been purposefully lesbophobic to anyone publicly or privately. I don't even make or reblog ironic homophobia jokes. I might live in the closet for the rest of my life aside from being freely lesbian in online spaces. I'm excruciatingly aware how terrible lesbophobia is and would never wish it on anyone.

The blog rule of not promoting servers who exclude types of systems is for all systems. Endo-, trauma-, quoi-, and so on. Tbh this goes for soulbonds as well because hey, there's an overlap of them and the system community.

My refraining from participating in intracommunity discussions is not ableism. My refusal to reblog promos for anything at all, for any reason is not oppression or ableism. [correction: it’s not a perfect resolution on my part to attempt neutrality. My aim is to prevent excessive harm or distress on a blog meant for the alterhuman community. Me remaining silent on system discourse is taking a side or stance,whether I intend to or not.]

I'm aware this blog has a large audience and I'd rather be careful about what I show to 5,000 people. The purpose of promos is to share that which would help the alterhuman community at large. To promote anything that divides sections of the overlapping communities would go against that. I can’t see how this is unreasonable.

I know this blog posts some sketchy and out there confessions. That is generally the purpose of a confession blog. [Within reason, ofc. No death threats, etc] I feel that vent / heavy themed posts limited to a single blockable blog is not the same as promoting servers where 'Us vs Them' mentalities are grown and encouraged.

If you disagree with me trying to maintain a neutral stance regarding system discourse, ok. I'm not here to change minds or take sides. I don't have the right to a voice in this specific conversation. I only want to make it clear what happened between me and two other people, and why they are saying hurtful things about me.

In summary:

Two different people asked me to promote their discord server that banned endogenic systems and tulpas from joining. As per the Promo Guidelines page, we do not promote those servers. I am a singlet and engaging in system discourse is not acceptable. [correction: one server admin asked me to promote their server. I declined. A second person on behalf of the server tried again to request a server promo.]

One of the server admins had a conversation with me. I explained the rule regarding banning types of Systems. The server admin took it poorly, stating my refusal to join in intracommunity discourse as a singlet was ableism on my part. [Correction: the second person may not have been an server admin, but acting on behalf of the server]

The two server admins are now slandering me on other blog(s?), saying I'm ableist, taking sides on system discourse despite being a singlet, and being lesbophobic. [Correction: it was only the second person, not the server admin.]

I've done none of those things. I have a copy of the conversations to prove it. I don’t want to post it without their consent, unless I really must to prove I wasn’t behaving inappropriately.

I am a transmisogyny exempt nonbinary lesbian who can only be publicly open about my identity online. I am in the closet in real life to my entire family. I know how torturous lesbophobia is and would never be lesbophobic to anyone.

[In fact, the topic of lgbt+ identities never came up in that conversation. I'm confused where that came from.]

If you read any of this, thank you. I really hope I haven’t behaved poorly regarding this. I would like to apologize if I have. I genuinely don’t think I have been unreasonable in this situation.

Connie / Mod Party Cat!

ps, if you know their blog urls, please do not harass them. Also, please don’t harass anyone in their kin community. Don’t be goofy like that, thank you.

pps I’m ok with people linking or reblogging this if someone is confused about what new terrible thing has happened on fictionkinfessions. It’s not required but hey, it’s out there, for eternal record on the internets. Hello world.

pps sorry for putting it in the community tags, but it is relevant insofar as clarifying rumors and dishonesty.

#twewykin #fictive #endogenic system #did system #multiple system #syscourse #system discourse #long post #not confessions

48 notes · View notes

mooosicaldreamz · 3 years

Note

We obviously need your song by song analysis of evermore please!

i got asked to do this about four times so here it is.....much anticipated. i know. please note that when i say that i hate her or despise her i don’t actually mean that. but i do

EVERMORE

OK LETS GO

WILLOW - ok, groovy first time you hear it, right? has a strong rumbly wiggle. let’s VIBE. the low of the verse, the high of the chorus…oh my goodness! what is she doing. she’s just out there! wow. “wherever you stray i follow” is a banger. “life was a willow and it bent right to your wind” with the overlay oof let’s go.!!!! a shockingly strong first entry of the record…best one since “welcome to new york” maybe!!! let’s just say it!!! for some reason “i come back stronger than a 90s trend” throws me off though…i don’t know. it’s just so moody pop, no one is doing it like her!!! i hate her

CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS - every time i listen to this song i listen to it four times. not a joke. it’s perfect. i don’t think i need to convince anyone! it’s perfect!!!!! what are you doing? taylor swift, the most dramatic bitch, has been writing dramatic bitch songs since she was fourteen and yet, somehow, she contrives to write even more dramatic things as she ages. this song is a JOKE. there are not ENOUGH songs about denying proposals! it’s just simple and sad. oh my god. it’s insane. the fact that she wrote this with her boyfriend (i have a running theory that they are married, we are going to refer to joe as her Perfect and Glorious Husband from now on) …… come on. the ENTIRE BREAKDOWN. “YOUR MIDAS TOUCH ON THE CHEVY DOOR / NOVEMBER FLUSH YOUR FLANNEL CURE / THIS DORM WAS ONCE A MADHOUSE / I MADE A JOKE WELL ITS MADE FOR ME / HOW EVERGREEN OUR GROUP OF FRIENDS / DON’T THINK WE’LL SAY THAT WORD AGAIN / AND SOON THEY’LL HAVE THE NERVE TO DECK THE HALLS THAT WE ONCE WALKED THROUGH” ……. concluding with that absolute stabby killer “what a shame she’s fucked in the head” oh my god……….. and the song resolving in a very adult “you’ll find someone else” god

GOLD RUSH - ok so like this song is like ok it’s got the same groovy high /low that’s happening on willow but it’s so different! it’s so good! the pulse of the beat propelling the whole thing through and then the falling apart “oh what must it be like to grow up that beautiful”……………..ok. the visceral image of “my eagles t-shirt hanging from the door” …………. i admire very much taylor’s oncoming gift of moving through high/low imagery…… i love her so much? it’s so HARD. “my mind turns your life into folklore” beautiful! BEAUTIFUL! also i have some belief in me that this is about karlie kloss but i shall not dive into that hole.

TIS THE DAMN SEASON - oh so i’m supposed to LIVE with this song EXISTING. WHY!!!! HOW……..oh my god………..taylor was like, yes, i’m going to write a song about a famous girl going home and banging her high school flame for a week and jack and aaron were like oh ok. “i parked my car between the methodist and the school that used to be ours.” she is such a joke. “you could call me babe for the weekend” like ok emo!! emo!!! OK. I LOVE THIS SONG

TOLERATE IT - taylor really gave us the most depressing track 5, but it’s absolutely a banger and i love her! she is just vibing! oh my god. what a specific emotion to pinpoint with this song….it’s such a gift. no one is hitting this space

NO BODY NO CRIME - this song has no business being on this record but in the BEST WAY, like how daddy lessons mysteriously appears in the middle of lemonade. oh my goodness. this is just pure country revenge song. taylor was like oh actually i haven’t forgotten my roots and i hate men more than i ever have. and she got haim to sing with her. and it’s so good. the low “i think he did it” oh my goodness. this song is a joke. how is it real? it’s just a perfect radio song. it reminds me very much of “before he cheats” but it’s a lot more sonically calm

HAPPINESS - similar to “tolerate it” and i think “champagne problems” this song is beating on an emotional bush that is really really hard to hit the head of. like, so she collabed with the national and bon iver on this record and previous obvi, and i LOVE them, but their music can often be very………impressionistic? perhaps? is how i might put it. it’s sometimes hard to get a note of specificity from it. imo. but taylor loves a fucking story bro. and she has figured out how to tell made up stories. she can’t be stopped now. like…this space of a breakup and knowing that it’s for the best and being sad in this way? name a pop star who has a song this nuanced. for real! god. i despise her. “across a great divide / there is a glorious sunrise”

DOROTHEA - the other half to the far superior TIS THE DAMN SEASON and a banger all the same. it has the bouncy joy of the most buoyant national songs. in the same vein as the also far superior BETTY, she has her sweet dumb boy slurry and less intelligent voice. i love that she paints these narrators this way, it’s just nothing she would have ever reached for ever before this period. she has a Perfect and Glorious Husband now and she has begun to understand teenage boys, FINALLY.

CONEY ISLAND - i have upon many occasions opined that i love the national VERY MUCH. i once went to a festival with my gf and her sister to see them even though i was expressly not invited and you know what despite the fact that it caused a lot of angst, i got to see the national play TERRIBLE LOVE in the middle of the night and I SCREAMED IT. so like, listen. what is matt berninger doing here, to me, specifically????????? i was somewhat hesitant about how their voices might blend, but it works astonishingly well. and i think that it’s so wonderful, i can’t. the imagery of a dreary coney island…..”sorry for not winning you an arcade ring.” as taylor always proves, the bridge is spectacular. “were you standing in the hallway / with a big cake / happy birthday”……”and when i got into the accident / the sight that flashed before me was your face / but when i walked up to the podium / i think that i forgot to say your name” sorry to yOU calvin. she had ISSUES. and now she has a Perfect and Glorious Husband. also “sorry for not making you my centerfold” ok kaylor

IVY - this song is about emily dickinson and i DARE you to tell me that i’m wrong. I DARE YOU. I DARE YOU. you’d be wrong! embarrassing for you. taylor finally writing a probably legitimate queer song and it’s about fucking emily dickinson is so on brand…..it’s dripping with poetry and groove and she’s so fucking dumb i hate her so much. her narrative of ivy and poetry and the lakes district…….ok taylor. i know. i know you watched all the dickinson things that came out and you identified with her. the gentle sway of the “oh, goddamn” and the “oh, i can’t”……i CAN’T EITHER TAYLOR !!! i CAN”T TAYLOR!!!! “oh goddamn / my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand / taking mine but it’s been promised to another / oh i can’t / stop you putting roots in my dreamland” TAYLOR. and then she says, “oh you didn’t realize this wasn’t gay?” “i want to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed” like @ emily yourself taylor “he wants what’s only yours”……TAYLOR. give me the entire catalogue of emily dickinson songs!!!!! i can’t do this. “springs breaks loose / but so does fear” “i’d live and die for moments that we stole / on begged and borrowed time / so tell me to run / or dare to sit and watch what we’ll become / and drink my husband’s wine.” taylor if you see this post, a, i love you, b, i need you to tell me about ivy, and c, PLEASE can i have tickets to your next tour in the year 2025 or whenever because my gf never buys me any to your shows……….i love this song if it isn’t clear. i think i’d love it if it wasn’t gay

COWBOY LIKE ME - ok this will sound weird and if you’ve read this far i’m going to assume that you don’t care about me being weird…but this song reminds me of the fanfiction STAY THE NIGHT by lynnearlington (maybe u’ve heard of it). please reply if you think about this and feel the same. “never wanted love / just a fancy car” “you had some tricks up your sleeve / takes one to know one / you’re a cowboy like me” the opening line re: the tent-like thing reminds me very strongly of the fourth of july at our family’s country club and they set up a tent over the parking lot and this song just makes me think of that vibe????? i don’t know. i have vibes. i love this song a lot, which is impressive because it follows after the gay euphoria of IVY. perhaps this is because it gives me its own gay euphoria. “now you hang from my lips like the garden babylon” ???? is one of the most gay, seductive, brutal lyrics i have ever heard. she wrote that down and was like, oh yeah, vibez, hundo p. she did that to me

LONG STORY SHORT - this song is an honorary sequel to I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED from the lover era (honestly i’m still in the lover era). but i actually think this song is better! so we are taking that. “actually i’ve always thought that i looked better from the rearview” ok taylor let’s access that feeling! “no more keeping score / i just keep you warm” is like, stupidly sweet. rip to calvin but now taylor has a Perfect and Glorious Husband.

MARJORIE - made me cry, simple and beautiful. one of the more personal songs on the tracklist! and something that i had never considered that she would write about, but i think the quarantine period has allowed a lot of us to dig into our feelings, so….vibez. we’re vibing!

CLOSURE - this song’s production sounds a lot like bon iver’s recent productions, very tech-y and repetitive and spare. rip to karlie kloss but taylor has a Perfect and Glorious Husband and karlie’s legal last name is kushner so who really won? hmm? i love “i’m fine with my spite / and my tears / and my beers / and my candles” the inclusion of candles is just. vibez. there are four candles lit rn in our apartment!

EVERMORE - i think this song is very intriguing and i’m still puzzling with it! the simplicity of her depressive gray November phase and then the very ebullient and bold bon iver interlude……..really has a manic/depressive, sad/angry vibe???? it feels so on brand for this pandemic quarantine…..and it works shockingly well, except for that i’d rather listen to the bon iver part for 10 minutes more. “all my waves are being tossed / is there a line that i can just go cross” and then taylor’s sort of call and response with his interlude……should just be the whole song. but it’s still good. that’s how annoying she is

#tswizzle #tswizzy #tsweezy #i literally have totally ruined the tags

30 notes · View notes