#it helps being living google for this podcast

[dynamic-swap-au-archive]

I'd like to offer gorillaz fans (and Potential gorillaz fans) another resource that I've spent over a year creating and perfecting.

The Gorillaz !

This playlist is, to the best of my ability, Every Single piece of gorillaz content that can be found on youtube in story order.

all of the music videos, all of the indents, all of the interviews, animations, radio shows, news specials, podcasts, audio books, tiktoks, Everything.

on top of that ! I made the decision to include select fan content! because Frankly the gorillaz fandom is unimaginably talented and creative. this includes Fully animating several music videos that were cancelled, but given to us in animatic form, original animations, animatics, and storyboards, fan visualizers and recreations of live visuals, even voice fan dubs for written material like the interviews and novels.

and more than that, with the (incredible) fan content that was available I've Also been able to flesh out the stories of each phase! a decision I made due to the plastic beach, the third album, never getting to finish the story officially (leading to the band breaking up and coming back 7 years later).

I'm so proud of what I've been able to do with it ! and even happier to share the picture I've been able to make as a whole :>

below the cut I'm going to include several other playlists that are based on this one, but made to be more digestible and less intimidating for newcomers ! as well as many other resources to fill in the gaps that this playlist can't ! (namely the written material)

thank you ! and I hope I can share something I love with all of you !

First is the simplest ! all of the music videos in order ! (plus a Few indents, because I can't help myself): [Link]

this obviously means that you lose out on quite a bit of context, as much of who the characters are as People and their relationships together are in the extra material (especially the shorts and interviews). BUT

this is the most Accessible, and also really convenient if you just want to vibe to the music. if you're not sure if you want to commit this kind of time to a cartoon band, consider checking this out! you may find yourself interested enough to learn more, or you may just have a good time and feel satisfied with what you've seen ! either way I'd be honored to have helped :>

Second, the Midpoint between these two extremes !: Phase 1-3 [Link] Phase 4-7 [Link]

these Include extra material like the shorts and animation, but Cuts Out some of the longer content like the podcasts and interviews! you can still get a pretty good idea about what happens in the story of each phase watching this, but it's not bogged down by videos that are hours long.

it'll give you a clearer picture of what's going on, include fun side content, while being less intimidating than the Full playlist. this is what I use to show my friends gorillaz !

alright, so you've got just the music videos and just the short stuff, now lets try just the Long stuff. all of the interviews, radio shows, podcasts, Etc: [Link]

maybe you've used my last playlists and now you'd like to listen to some of those long form videos you missed out on. maybe you just want to listen to these characters talk because it's Nice. either way, it's all here :> (I know, because I had to upload some of them myself)

Pirate Radio: [Link]

it's all here with One technical exception. pirate radio was the serial radio show for plastic beach/phase 3, that gave us insight into murdoc's frame of mind as a character. it Also used copywriten music. the reuploads on youtube cut the music out (likely because they wouldn't be available otherwise), while this google drive has the full unedited audio files if anyone would be interested!

this one may seem redundant, but I promise it isn't. All of the gorillaz albums in order: [Link]

this playlist (for the most part) doesn't Have any visuals, it's Only the music.

likewise, all of the music in the previous playlists are only those songs that Have visuals (official or fan made), which means not all of gorillaz's music is present! which is exactly what this is for :>

you have every album in order, filling in the gaps of what's been missed, As Well As special albums that are Associated with gorillaz, and gorillaz' guest appearances in other people's music !

now we're out of my playlists and into other resources :>

Lobotomy Pop: [Link]

this is a website that's worked for years to preserve and organize Every Single written interview gorillaz has ever done ! it's an invaluable resource and really just very cool.

it also categorizes several other things ! such as listing out all of the personal playlists the gorillaz members have put out over the years, or every profile that's ever been written for the characters ! it's very much so worth checking out as a fan.

Gorillaz Art Archive: [Link]

exactly what is says on the tin ! this is a google drive that's attempting to archive Every Single piece of official gorillaz art that was released from phase 1 in 2001, to phase 5 in 2018. it is Massive and it's such a joy to have access to

The Kong Files: [Link]

if you were wondering why the art archive stopped at 2018, this would be why ! the kong files has much the same goal, but instead picking up at phase 6 and continuing on Theoretically forever ! or at least it's kept up with all of phase 7

that said ! the kong files is attempting to document Everything relating to those phases. so all of the social media, all of the music videos, all of the written text, Everything !

I wouldn't try to Only use this for watching phase 6 and 7, but it's an Excellent resource for everything that could fall between the cracks

Rise of the Ogre on Archive dot Com: [Link]

rise of the ogre was an official novel released at the end of demon days (the second album/phase 2), that covered the entire history of the band up until that point! their backstories, how they met each other, what they'd gotten up to in the 10 years they'd known each other, and the shocking event that happened at the very end of the phase and the band's reaction to it. all leading in to plastic beach, (arguably) the Most story heavy phase of them all.

as I understand it, this novel has been out of print for a very long time and is quite expensive to buy second hand. so ! it's been scanned and uploaded here to the archive! there's actually several more scans available in the gorillaz art archive, but this is the most recent (having been uploaded just earlier this year).

Dawn of the Ogre: [Link]

dawn of the ogre is the fanmade sequel to rise of the ogre, attempting to fill in the gaps of what happened at the end of phase 3, the 7 year gap, and up to the (then) newest point of canon.

this is, of course, unofficial. so this is essentially fancy fanfiction. But it's extremely well done fanfiction that happens to be novel length, attempting to emulate the style of the original novel, and is fully illustrated. along with being available completely for free!

I'd definitely give it a shot, if you're the type of person who's already read rise of the ogre

the gorillaz wiki !: [Link]

I have no clue what the fandom thinks about it, but it was absolutely invaluable both in making my playlist, and becoming a fan at all. with all the work I've done my hope is that people won't need to go digging for themselves, but the Option is certainly always nice !

I'd Especially like to highlight this page [Link] which has transcriptions for all of the pirate radio show episodes !

I feel like there's a lot to find here :>

and of course, my own dynamic swap au archive! [Link]

if you've fallen in love with gorillaz and are desperate for more to sink your teeth into, then I couldn't recommend this enough !

keep in mind that these resources will continue updating ! as new music is created and new fan content is made! I'm keeping my eyes out on a fan project for a fully animated mv right now that I'm sure will make it to my playlists one day :>

[imsossleepy]

Having friends at different points of their first listen throughs of rqg is great, like I’ve got one friend sobbing about Sasha’s letter and the other one is laughing about is Bertie guy pretending to be a statue! Ohhh good times

[some-triangles]

I am now at a level of obsession with Disco Elysium where I am watching at least a little bit of every playthrough I come across. Last time this happened was with Undertale almost a decade ago. With UT this helped me get a very thorough handle on the way the game was designed and with the subtler bits of player manipulation. DE is not subtle about anything and so instead I'm getting insights into the people playing it, particularly as it spreads beyond the youtube leftist bubble.

The one I'm having the most fun with right now is by this guy named Brady, who is a therapist specializing in addiction. The fun part is not so much his insight into Harry as an addict - again, the game is not subtle - but his absolute discomfort with politics. He refuses to engage with any of the ideological choices, and that makes the game a bit of a bumpy ride for him. It's particularly striking because he's willing to read into everything else that goes on in Harry's brain - he breaks out his Johari windows and his CBT flowcharts and pins the butterfly right to the corkboard - but he shuts down when the game asks him to pick a side.

To extrapolate wildly from one dude's hangups, I think this is just part of the deal with therapy. The aim of a therapist is to make the subject more functional (particularly these days, when if you're lucky insurance will pay for ten sessions, and you better document exactly what worksheets you made your patients fill out) - and being functional means being able to be happy and productive in the society you're currently living in. If I go to a therapist and say I'm bummed out about all the murdering my government is doing they will suggest I stop watching the news, or, if I'm lucky, they'll try to help me figure out why I feel guilt about things I can't control. Delving into the whys and hows of said murdering is actively counterproductive.

This is not to say that therapy is inherently bad, or, like, counterrevolutionary, because making you a more functional person does help with a lot of things, including your ability to help others. It's just a useful thing to keep in mind when therapy and politics bump into each other. I read this paper when I was googling ABA for podcast reasons and it stuck with me. The thesis boils down to: because the world is imperfect and people need skills to live in it we should continue to torture children, and we don't have enough research to conclude that torture could be traumatic. This is on one level reasonable and on one level insane. It depends where you stand, and whether you think "ability to express affection towards parents" is worth that kind of intervention. But the authors wouldn't construe this as a political argument.

Anyway: with all this in mind, I very much recommend reading "The Saint of Bright Doors", which we will be covering on wizards vs lesbians soon.

[raydays-swap-au]

Rayday's Swap AU ~ Alastor

Second design of today! I probably won't make/post more for a bit as I made most of my Angel Dust design- and this entire one pretty much in one sitting.

More information about the design + "sprites" under the cut

No staff - I thought that the staff microphone wouldn't fit a futuristic Alastor, so instead I gave him a headset with a microphone

Symbol on headset - While it might just look like an R, I actually took inspiration from the Bluetooth logo, taking 2 runes and combining them. In this case it was A and R. Why those letters? Cuz Alastor and radio/red.

Wiring/radio on his chest - I thought he needed more technology attached to him as Vox had his TV head to drive home the tech theme.

FM 96 - FM is a type of radio frequency ( the other being AM, and FM apparently being the better one. ) I chose the number 96 cuz it's a frequency it can pick up, and also cuz it's quite literally the opposite of 96 in terms of the sex position. ( Fits well with Alastor being asexual )

On that note: Ace swap Alastor? I decided to keep him as asexual, although specifically demisexual ( sex repulsed until sexual attraction for him is gained for a specific person. ) Why? Cuz I personally am a one-sided RadioStatic enjoyer. Will Alastor know he's ace in this AU? It's still a no. He just assumes it's the norm.

Why not make him TV based - TV is technically already going out of style. Now it's more about social medias, podcasts, and/or streaming services. Which is why I decided to just keep his radio themes, rather than switch to a TV themed one. A TV themed swap would be valid too imo, just not my personal take. Also, I got car repair ads on YT right after looking up car radio references on Google. We really live in a dystopia smh.

Hairstyle - It's sort of hard to see, but he has a ponytail now cuz I said so. After I decided on that I realized it also kinda helps with keeping his hair somewhat out of the wiring on the back of his neck, so that's neat.

Horn antennae - I simply thought it'd be a great way to take the antennae thing on Vox's hat and ad it into Alastor.

How futuristic is Alastor in terms of his tech? - I know his design gives sort of mixed signals, but part of it is also just so he looks cool. Coolness is sometimes a valid excuse.

Coat - The coat is sort of a mix between Alastor's and Vox's in terms of shape. It both has the V cut ( which realistically helps with movement/walking, ) but also maintains Alastor's coat-shape rather than giving him a penguin tail tuxedo like Vox sort of has.

Star buttons(?) on his coat sleeves - I just thought it'd be cute. Also cuz he's a media/radio star ofc.

No visible tail - I thought about it and ultimately decided against it. He still has one, don't get me wrong, but if Alastor has a personality similar to Vox, that'd mean he would want to ( try and ) keep his image in check. A cute lil' deer tail would probably make it hard(er) to be taken seriously.

Height - Vox and Alastor has the same height which is about 7 ft, but even then Alastor retains his height as all my swaps do.

Color scheme - Alastor's color scheme is more noticeably influenced by Vox's. I tried my best to swap the red and blue though, with some exceptions ( like the bowtie ) in order to make it more coherent in my opinion.

Here's his design without the background

[zenithabovemarshland]

Just thinking aloud about fame, celebrity, and Pluto in Aquarius...

When Britney Spears was released from the conservatorship there were posts about how it's likely Britney might not be as internet-literate or socially appropriate as we'd like her to be, considering everything she went through. The posts encouraged others to be patient and understanding, and not to cancel her if she happens to make any mistakes.

Just now I saw a similar point about Gypsy Rose Blanchard. Now that she's released she intends to make herself very public online, but her entire life (32 years) has been spent in either one prison or the other. There are concerns for how she might adjust to the internet we know today, seeing as how she likely didn't get the opportunity to grow alongside social media the way the rest of us did.

In the 2024 Year Ahead Forecast from The Astrology Podcast they brought up the Pluto in Leo generation, and how that period of time and that generation relate to the making of our concept of "celebrity". They're also the generation that are holding on to power (like the presidents of the USA). Pluto in Leo gen is also unique because it's one of the only Pluto generations that is likely to live to their Pluto opposition, which is happening now. With this Pluto opposition, the pod talked about how the idea of who gets to be in power is likely to change. As well as our concept and relationship with "celebrities".

In 1991, Pluto in Scorpio (square to Pluto in Leo, if it matters. Whether it matters is still something I'm exploring here), Michael J. Fox was diagnosed with Parkinson's. I'm not actually sure how public illness was allowed to be previous to that. I just remember growing up how Michael J. Fox was something of a special case, and his celebrity status helped make massive leaps in awareness and research for Parkinson's.

Hollywood became big in the 1920's, when Pluto was in Cancer. While Pluto has been in the opposite sign, Capricorn, I feel like I've heard about a million celebrities coming out with illness. Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Bruce Willis. Recently, Celine Dion. If you Google it, there are lists of dozens of celebrities with chronic illnesses. Not to mention mental illness, which has become that much more public.

My feeling at this point is that there are themes of privacy, hidden and internal illness, and representation here that we've seen getting dug up from the Pluto in Cancer era. True crime stories from old Hollywood, being open about mental illness, exposing how child talents have been exploited by the industry, and of course, hidden afflictions to celebrities are changes we've seen around fame through the trine, Pluto in Scorpio, and opposition, Pluto in Capricorn.

Most obviously, though, who gets to be famous has changed the most in the last 20 years. It used to be only special, hand-picked people who got to be famous. Now it could be anybody with a cell phone.

I think of this blog post on the Aries Point by Ace (AliceSparklyKat), where they talk about how the angular points seem to manifest. They've noticed that celebrities whose Sun is at 0 degrees Cancer seem to be regarded as chameleon-like in their nationality, form, or culture, and those with 0 degrees Capricorn seem to be known for a peak example for one nationality, form, or culture. I wonder if this can be seen in this shift to influencer culture, particularly in the rhetoric that celebrities until now have been made to represent everybody. But now, after Pluto in Capricorn, we are much more aware of the consequences of not having fair representation of more nuanced, individual experiences. At first it was all about art and talent. Now, it's about the hard tacks of who gets what job and why, and the consequences of story. Very Cancer to Capricorn opposition coded.

Anyway, I feel like I've noticed a lot of celebrities becoming ill in the past, and now I feel like I'm seeing some "taboo" issues come up in influencer culture. I'm wondering about how this could be gearing us up for Pluto in Aquarius.

What do you think??? I really want to hear your thoughts!

[a-dumbass-jester]

Yttd x tma au!!

The main post with plot an a full explanation and story.

{Part one} (it’s much more bref there, this is much more in depth and organized)

This focuses more on the dummies bc I love them but I also think that theme of loss of humanity fits well with them {this post will have a lot to do this them and their plot}

{Art I drew}

{Ao3}

Words: ~4,500

- Overview -

Sara Chidouin - The End

Midori - The Web

Sue Miley - The Spiral

Tia Safalin - The Dark

Rio Ranger - The Stranger

Shunsuke Hayasaka - The Eye

Hinako Mishuku - The Desolation

Anzu Kinashi - The Stranger

Ranmaru Kageyama - The Lonely

Mai Tsurugi - The Slaughter

Naomichi Kurumada - The Extinction

Q-Taro Bugerburg - The Hunt

Megumi Sasahara - The Corruption

- Intro -

So to start yttd aligns with tma a lot actually!! First off chapter one had a very strong paranormal theme to it, as well a lot of manifestations/themes that the entities had though out the game. The most obvious because the dolls (stranger) and death (end)

The timeline fits to!! The death game happens April 2017, which is a few months before The Unknowning, around/mid season three(3). The change happens October 2018 which is enough time for the plot.

In case you are here for yttd and don’t know anything about the Magnus archives, tma is a horror fiction podcast where there are 14(now 15) fear based entities/gods, that feed of of peoples fear. And occasionally instead of fearing an entity, some people ‘sympathize’ with it. Becoming an vessel or avatar for it instead. I don’t think you have to worry about not having context to tma because I think I did a pretty good job explaining it. if you are confused a quick Google search will probably answer your questions. I even linked the entities wiki page if you quickly want answers. If you are interested in tma or even just a specific fear but don’t wanna listen to a 200 episode podcast, this is a rlly good playlist explaining the entities.

- Asunaro -

So basically everything is the same except that yttd and tma take place in the same world. I can see asunaro being like the Magnus institute in how it serves the eye, I can see it serving an entity as well, but instead of it being one entity, there’s different parts that are dedicated to different ones, because there’s a few asunaro matches with, the most obvious one is The End, also known as Death or Terminus, is well death. Considering their focus on death and a full on death game makes it fit quite well. I can also see The Web or the Mother of Puppets playing a part because as we see a few times (especially in the mini episodes) they try to control the participant’s lives like how they framed Alice for murder. but also in the way they had the ai simulations. They knew every way it could play out, everyone’s chance at survival, what they do when threatened with death, what they do when they’ve lost everything, playing with them like puppets. Due too asunaro’s assassin history in Kai’s backstory I can see them connected to The Slaughter as well. I don’t think asunaro would have started out serving an entity. The would’ve done what they did in cannon and then found out they exist and that they aligned with some of them and ended up here. The entities that helped them realize that would’ve been The Eye and Stranger. When they started stalking the future participants they caught the attention of The Eye, also know as the Ceaseless Watcher or Beholding. It started to let asunaro use it to get information. The doll thing was also an accident. They started to make the dolls to help with people mourning loved ones like in cannon, but got influenced by The Stranger or the I Do Not Know You and started replacing them entirely, and make them look a lot less human, and leaning into uncanny valley. like something was wrong but you just don’t know what.

- Asunaro’s Employees -

SARA CHIDOUIN

While I know Sara isn’t an employee, her existence still plays a massive part with The End and the company. Like I mentioned in my original post I rlly like the idea of her being deified by asunaro. So I can see her playing a similar role to Angus. Her father was fascinated by The End and very early on he started to raise her for it. Asunaro quickly caught on and was more than happy to help. So along with raising her to be perfect for the death game, They raised her to be the perfect vessel for The End. She didn’t become an avatar until during the death game. They kept her from becoming an avatar before then. She was heavily marked by it, but they wouldn’t let The End take her before that point. So when it did make her an avatar it was very sudden, and all at once. The entities were kept a secret for her entire life, so when she started getting the dreams of how the still alive participants would die during the game, she just dismissed them as simple nightmares what came with trama. But then those dreams actually happened. How she saw them die in the dreams is how they ended up dying in the game. And then the roots showed up. She saw the way death wrapped around everyone in a way only she was able to see. By the end of the death game She becomes The Ends main avatar. She goes from a sort of death prophet to Death incarnate as It and Asunaro takes more and more. She becomes their Angel of death.

MIDORI / SOU HIYORI

I don’t have to much of an explanation for this one. But i remember someone calling him the puppeteer doll, and that he kinda messes with people like puppets or play things, so I think it lines up with The Mother of Puppets. That and I think a simple basic kind of fear would work well with him. I could see him using spiders to subtly scare people, especially the people he’s close with like Shin. He is the reason Shin had an encounter with The Web in high school. I can see him as the head (or at least someone higher up) of The Web section/avatars. He became an avatar rlly young. He had always rlly liked The Web and With his connection to Asunaro he was able to connect with it, and commonly used it to mess with people. Even as a little 5 year old.

SUE MILEY / EMIRI HARAI

As I mentioned here she’s the perfect avatar for The Spiral, also known as The Distortion or The Great Twisting, If not a victim of it. In the game she gaslights people into thinking that their loved ones death was their fault, and she was also driven mad by asunaro. Due to The Distortion also having a theme of hallucinations, the ones we see in game would have been her doing, or at least part of it. This next part is a bit unimportant but I wanna include it anyway, I hc backstory is that she’s Mai’s sister and was taken from them at a young age under the guise of letting her research more of the disturbing stuff that she was interested in. They framed her death and changed her last name. Slowly they started desensitizing her, as she slowly got used to stuff like death and suffering. As well as loveboming her, stuff that can be used by The Spiral. That overall theme fits The Spiral to me. She becomes an avatar as an adult, when she goes mad in cannon. And actively used The Distortion during the death game. Like I mentioned earlier, she used the hallucinations to drive people mad, and made them spiral as much as possible.

TIA SAFALIN/MICHIRU NAMIDA

I originally assigned her The Dark also known as The forever Blind or Mr Pitch, because of the way tma blended science and religion with it specifically with Manuela Dominguez. I can even see her playing a similar role. Ok I have to be honestly I don’t have a lot for this one. I just rlly like the idea of Dark!Michiru. I can maybe see her becoming an Avatar trying to escape an entity. she was a researcher and maybe fell victim to The Ceaseless Watcher, and in a way to stop it she gouged her eyes out to sever her connection to it, and in the process fell into The Forever Blind. Also I’ll get into this when I talk about Hayasaka (in the dummies section) but I like the idea of her serving The Dark while he serves The Eye, two(2) entities known to hate each other. But anyway back to the eye thing, Hayasaka and Emiri helping her after literally going blind. And still being blind during the game and using a cane, and often using the dark during it as well. But yea I just rlly like dark!Michiru.

RIO RANGER

I’ll get into him a bit more with Anzu, but this happens after the death game. Where he is rebuilt and finds out about Sei and has a bit of an identity crisis. That along with the doll thing makes him end up falling into The Stranger. He and Anzu got close after the game. They bonded over liking to dress up/costumes and preforming. Anzu even got him to become a clown. So when Asunaro pushed her into The Stranger he followed, and went on a similar arc as she did.

OTHER

Obviously like I said earlier Mr Chidoun serves The End. I know there’s a theory that he and Meister are the same person but going purely of of Meister I can see either Web or Stranger. Web because of his association with Midori, and probably Stranger because of the doll thing, l can imagine him leaning into uncanny valley, he also looks a lot like Nikola, like if Meister was a clown. Kai was almost an slaughter avatar, and by almost i mean it’s what asunaro wanted, but he couldn’t actually fit it. I don’t rlly have one for Gashu actually. Maybe Stranger because he makes dolls? I can also see him leaning into uncanny valley, but that’s literally it.

- DUMMIES-

(Reminder that this post is important for this section)

The dummies overall story: so it’s the beginning part of that^ post where Midori was fucking around and put their human souls in their dolls and ais. It worked and after the death game they rebooted and rebuilt them. This is where it starts getting a bit different. They were still experimented on, trying to find the exact differences between Human and doll. However this time they are more focused on turning them into avatars. Anzu and Hinako were the easiest, all they needed were a slight nudge and they would keep falling whether they wanted to or not. Ranmaru, Hayasaka and Mai were more difficult. They aligned well with an entity, however they clung to their humanity much more than Anzu and Hinako did. They did eventually fall with a big enough push. Kurumada was the hardest to deal with. First off he didn’t actually align a whole lot with one specific entity. He had some connection to two(2) or three(3) entities, but not enough to become an avatar. They did eventually find one but it wasn’t even fully formed, they had to push even harder.

In order of when they became avatars

SHUNSUKE HAYASAKA

{important} As I mentioned in my Og post Hayasaka Is PERFECT for The Eye. On the wiki page, it says The Ceaseless Watcher fears are focused on being watched, Having secrets revealed, Horrible knowledge, Being exposed and judged, which works VERY well considering he was the one to watch over the rest of the participants. Before his memory’s were erased for the death game, he knew everything about everyone, he’s watched them all for a few years now. The Eye had originally marked him in high school, teasing him with the knowledge thing it has. he didn’t follow it because he didn’t know what it was yet. When he started working for Asunaro and they told him to start stalking the participants, it came back, and it loved him. He fit so perfectly, it couldn’t help itself. Hayasaka hated it. He rejected it for a while, until a few months in Michiru helped him get used to and accept it. Overtime he got more and more comfortable with it. He does become an avatar before the death game. So he has access to The Eye during it. I’m imagining him getting hungry at some point and tries to get a Statement, and ends up going to kurumada and asks him about his encounter with The Buried from when he was in high school. In which after he finishes he freaks out and almost blows up at him, but Hayasaka stops him and explains everything. I would also like to mention that he also acts a lot different during the game now. Going back the the {important} thing, he was much colder and assertive The Eye didn’t let asunaro erase his memory, so he remembered everything anyway. It’s also what tipped asunaro off to what Midori did, because like why does Hayasaka act exactly how he did as a human, and not his ai self. And why does he still know everything. The Ceaseless Watcher also told him what Midori did. And he tried to tell the others about it as well. Especially the other dummies because 1. He genuinely wanted them to know about what actually happened, and that they are really them and not an ai copy, and 2. He wanted to bring them together, so that had each others backs. ‘We are in the exact same position, let’s work together’ they helped each other get used to everything as well.

HINAKO MISHUKU

She started becoming an avatar a little bit before the Death game. Midori recognized that she had a lot of potential for The Desolation. So he started leading her down that path with getting her to go after and  destroy the people who hurt her/people she dislikes. Slowly she became more and more destructive. It ended up real bad after the game. She knew exactly what asunaro did to her. How they destroyed her life and took everything from her. The sheer anger that she felt. She sought out to harm the people that did that to her. After that had started she began to spiral. Eventually she started harming more people, people that didn’t do anything to her. Slowly becoming more sadistic. she thrived on that destruction, the pain she brought others. One day She was burning down someones house and got caught in the flames a little bit after the game. She was the first one the rest of the dummies become an avatar. Hayasaka already was one. This made Mai, Ranmaru and Kurumada realize what exactly asunaro was going to do to them. Anzu decent made them realize how bad it was going to be.

ANZU KINASHI

Anzu’s transformation hit everyone hard. They had meet Hayasaka and Hinako after they started succumbing. They basically watched Anzu die. They saw a sweet kid become a monster before their very eyes and they couldn’t do anything about it. Luckily for the others their change weren’t that bad. It was very easy to get Anzu to spiral into The Stranger. All she needed was a push, first Asunaro wanted to get a proper mark on her. Anzu was already a clown and now a doll, both things very associated with I Do Not Know You, so it was very easy to get its attention. The doll thing was already a bit of a mark. But The official mark would’ve been similar to Mag 87: The Uncanny Valley. Asunaro got in contact with a Stranger avatar (probably Gashu if he wasn’t dead) and had them fuck with her(resulting in a very solid mark). This happened relatively soon after the game. Asunaro also got her interested in ‘The Circus of the Other’. (And even tried to reach out to them to let them know they might have a new member soon!!(if their plan worked(it did))). The lack of identity started soon after the marking. After going something so traumatic, she changed quite a bit. That and The Strangers affects starting to plant in her head. She also leaned into it because it had a huge theme of not knowing, she probably wanted to forget everything that happened and live in bliss. The disconnect from her identity only got worse she properly got involved with it. Her personality and just who she was as a person changed a lot, both physically and mentally, which slowly made her feel like she wasn’t “Anzu Kinashi” anymore. I mean “Anzu Kinashi” was dead (legally at least), and because of that, her being a doll now, and having to be cut off from her family. She was kept in asunaro’s facility. Everything was different now. She was different. Anzu ended up changing her name because 1. She didn’t feel like it fit anymore and 2. To let “Anzu” rest. I cant rlly think of a name she would choose but all I can come up with is Pierrot. At her end point she leaned very heavily into uncanny doll. She still Had a lot of energy and emotion but now there was something off about it, almost empty, hollow and fake. She also likes to wear masks. Not the one she used to wear though. That one’s for Anzu, she has a collection of different masks now. She still has the old one, it’s sitting nice on a shelf. A place to mourn who she was. The timeline is a bit weird. It’s main issue how fast can she loose it. because the game happens in April, while The Stranger’s ritual, The Unknowning happens August. I Hope she can join Circus of the Other before the Unknowning but I feel like that’s stretching it a bit. Anyways Breekon (and Hope If he’s alive) go get Anzu and she joins them, and kinda fucks around over there for a while, and properly leaves everything behind. (Also she knows English because she’s an ai now and can download it)

RANMARU KAGEYAMA

Unlike Anzu he had always been connected to an entity. The Lonely was always there. It followed him as he grew up. The ever present fog that was everywhere he was. With the hc from this post, first off I think a lonely ice skater could be rlly cool but also like I mentioned his parents were ice skaters and held him to a high standard and since so much of their love for him came from that when he wasn’t living up to their standards he felt less loved. More alone. He started to become a few years before the death game. When his relationship with his parents got worse and he started getting outcasted. He started falling into The Lonely. It was very very slow. But when he got into the game and found out what was happening, he immediately pushed it away. No matter how badly he wanted to fall into it and let it embrace him, he pushed it away. And clung to his humanity. He didn’t want to become a monster. Especially after what he saw what happened to the others. How they lost themselves. Eventually asunaro got tired of waiting and started isolating him. Soon enough they didn’t need to anymore, and He was doing it on his own. The closer he got to the lonely, the more tempting it was. eventually, he let go, fell into the fog and was never seen again.

MAI TSURUGI

Mai was touched by The Slaughter before due to asunaro seeing an opportunity when she started carrying around a knife but when she was brought into the death game, something touched by The Slaughter, and it’s affects over her got stronger, however it took her much longer to succumb to it than Ranmaru. Partially because she wasn’t as tied to it as Ranmaru was to the lonely but also because she had more self control. She was able to withdraw herself from it for a lot longer than he was. But, she did become. It had been terrorizing her for months to even over a year, and eventually, she broke. She became when she had an outburst of pent up anger and emotion towards asunaro and killed a ~dozen of employees and broke out to try and live normally again (or as normal as you can get when ur an avatar and a doll)

NAOMICHI KURUMADA

Kurumada was easily the hardest to assign. He never fit an entity like the others did. Asunaro bet on slaughter due to how violent he got during the incident, but he didn’t stay angry. He quickly burnt out and just didn’t know what to do. when he was taken into the death game and his memories were erased he did kinda regain his anger but it quickly faded when he got back them and even got worse to the point of being suicidal after he fully realized that everything had changed. He just wasn’t angry anymore. He was tired and did want to do anything. Asunaro couldn’t get him connected to the slaughter anymore. (I also didn’t wanna give the only character who’s not paper white the sudden violence one) he didn’t fit any other pre existing fears so he just kinda sat there for a while, watching the people he loved become monsters. And then The Extinction came into knowledge. The fear of the death of humanity and Catastrophic change. In the past few years everything has changed for him. The loss of his mentor and his dream of being an boxer, his humanity, he’s dead, he’s now a ghost possessing an ai stuck in a doll, he’s now stuck in a facility that did all of this to him. And hell he’s basically a different person now. Even the death of humanity works because he by definition isn’t human anymore. Not to mention he was in a death game and facility where humans die and are replaced with ai dolls. The Extinction also has a huge theme of tech, which works with kurumada considering he’s an ai now. Asunaro didn’t even have to anything to get him to start becoming. The Extinction taking kurumada is what made them realize it existed in the first place. After that they started to subtly push him in that direction. He was the last of the six to become an avatar. After Mai had her outbreak, the only ones left were him, hayasaka, and Hinako though she often went missing for days if not weeks at a time. And even then she’s only really come back to occasionally sleep even though she doesn’t need to anymore. So it was basically just Hayasaka. He did start to see some off the others again after he became an avatar. I like to imagine his avatar-ness being a lot like {this} I don’t know what to add to that, he’s just like that. He’d hang out in abandoned cites. The person finding him could be Hayasaka or Sara maybe.

- Other participants -

Q-TARO BURGERBURG

Q-Taro had a similar arc to Daisy. He was first properly marked by The Hunt when he went to America to learn how to use a gun. The person that taught him was a Hunter and they noticed that he he reeked of The Hunt, and used that opportunity to properly mark him. His affiliation with The Hunt became more obvious when the he was put into the game. The way he was so quick to weed out the weak and leave them for dead is something strongly associated with The Hunt. Because as mentioned by Jon in S5, ‘yes the hunt is associated with the Chase but it’s mainly the fear of being seen as weak and being left for dead, and being prey.’ His connection to the Hunt only got stronger as the game went on. During 3-B Safalin (or someone with asunaro (maybe Hayasaka)) mentions he’s becoming an avatar for The Hunt, and that he’s going to become a monster at some point. And this adds another reason he sacrificed himself and died in Keijis place. I also rlly like the idea of Q-Taro having a more animalistic fear. I also like the idea of him and Mai feeding together, since The Hunt and Slaughter are similar fears. 

MEGUMI SASAHARA

Megumi has always been touched by The Corruption, especially after she joined the police force and made her way to the top. but her death was what made her an avatar. she comes back probably in chapter 2 and attacks the cast. She's a Corruption avatar because I want her to be as disgusting on the outside as she is on the inside (and because of the corruption in the police system)

- Closing -

To end this off I would like too add some hcs, specifically encounters some of the people had with entities, as well as some alignment due to most of them dying before they could possibly become avatars. I already mentioned that Shin as well as most of the cast, had an encounter with The Web due to midori. Whether it was more subtly like most of the cast or more obvious like with shin.Kurumada had an encounter with The Buried, that’s why his first trial was like that. The real Hinako was end aligned. Keiji is touched by the corruption due to being part of the police force. In my original part I mentioned desolation!joe and vast!mishima. Desolation Joe could’ve possibly happened by him finding out about what asunaro did to his father (and what they did in general) and wanting to burn it to the ground (think Tim stoker). Vast Mishima actually could’ve happened before the death game. I can see him a lot like Simon, painter who fell in love with the sky. I feel like his also pretty curious so maybe he’d have an encounter with the vast thought it was fascinating and wanted to figure out what it is. But as soon as he realized what he was dealing with, he would’ve tried to get away. The main story/ death game is still relatively the same, just with the entities added in.

Thank you so much for reading!!! This has been something I’ve been working on since October, ever since I started The Magnus archives. You reading this and listening to my ramblings means a lot to me!!

[nanowrimo]

5 Tips for Completing Your NaNoWriMo Novel Draft

Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. Freewrite, a 2022 NaNoWriMo sponsor, is a dedicated drafting device designed just for writers, free of distractions. Today, comedian/writer Natalie Kim and Freewrite staff member Colin Butts share a few tips for helping you reach the end of your first draft this November:

Hello from Freewrite!  We’re thrilled to be taking part in the 2022 NaNoWriMo challenge. If you’re unfamiliar, we make dedicated drafting devices for writers without the distraction—or temptation—of browsers, email, apps, or notifications so you can get into and stay in writing flow. When it is time to edit, your drafts seamlessly sync with the cloud for export into Scrivener, Final Draft, Word, Google Docs, or your software of choice.

At the core of Freewrite’s design philosophy is an encouragement to move you forward. Intentionally lacking editing capabilities, Freewrite drafting devices help writers write more, not better. In this case, quantity trumps quality.

Ok, enough about Freewrite. How about insight from 2020 NaNoWriMo participant Natalie Kim about her experience drafting her project and what tips she has for you going in:

1. Make it a ritual

For NaNoWriMo in November 2020 I committed to writing after dinner, no matter what. Once my butt sank into our cat-scratched chair, my fingers immediately danced across my Freewrite keyboard and did not stop until I hit 1000 words. A car filled with clowns could have crashed into my living room and I would continue typing.

Also, there is no question that writing on the Freewrite helped me reach 50,000+ words. Had I used my laptop to write I would have 50+ browser tabs open, searching for “JUST ONE MORE THING”.

With the Freewrite it was just me and the words.

2. Always move forward

I remember the advice an instructor in a graduate film writing class said about the first draft. He said: “Never go back and edit your first draft while you are writing it. Always move forward”. I followed his advice and I did not read what I had written. I gave it the cold shoulder and moved on.

3. Guard your mind from the noise

Try an experiment during NaNoWriMo: Refrain from consuming media like podcasts, episodic shows or mindlessly scrolling social media on your phone. 

And before you throw your sneaker at me, hear me out.

Your mind is a valuable resource that must be protected from the mediocre din of every day society. You never know where your next precious idea will appear: walking back from the coffee shop, loading the dishwasher or driving back from the mechanic. Our greatest ideas emerge when we have a clear mind; free from other people’s ideas and voices. 

4. When you’ve reached 50,000 words

In Stephen King’s book, On Writing, King says that when you finish the first rough draft you need distance from it. King believes that if you read the first draft too soon you will be tempted to tinker with it. You might think it is harmless to tinker but it ultimately results in your work looking become a loaf of bread vivisected by a toddler: a doughy, crumbly mess.

Instead give the rough draft some breathing space. Then come back to it.

5. In conclusion

Please do feel free to use the helpful advice and throw out the rest. Go forth with confidence and be steadfast with your writing. 

50,000 words, here you come!

Warmly,

@NatalieKimNYC

Don’t forget to check out Freewrite’s special discount offer for NaNoWriMo writers! 

Natalie Kim is a comedian who likes to remind everyone that we are not as different as we think we are. This summer, she was a resident of St. Nell’s Humor Writing Residency for Women and performed in clubs around New York City. She is currently working on a collection of humorous essays about being the tough-talking, loud mouth kid from Suffolk County, Long Island.

As Head of Marketing for Freewrite, Colin Butts loves hearing from creative writers about their ideas and stories in development. Helping to provide a product that removes barriers for drafting artists makes his work deeply purposeful. Colin loves to read, is starting his own first short story, and enjoys adventure travel, yoga, and video games when he’s not busy in the literary world.

[librarycards]

what sorts of things do you think can help people deal with their mental illness besides therapy/meds? i’m not saying i disagree with anti-psychiatry, and i have had bad experiences with psychiatrists/therapists for multiple reasons, but what kinds of things actually help? i’m on wait lists for free therapy and multiple of them have long way lists and hotlines don’t help me, i feel at a loss. and i kind of feel like being being this mentally ill would be a burden upon any friend/partner i could potentially have. i honestly don’t know what to do bc i haven’t improved in years

first, a clarification: i'm not anti-med, i am only anti-forced treatment. i think you'll find many, though not all, anti-psych (and adjacent) ppl with this view, which is often shoehorned in with broad anti-med shit both because of the dubious history of some antipsych figures and because of strawmanning by pro psych forces. but i digress.

there is no simple solution for crisis/ongoing suffering, especially because the actual biggest help to all of us would be the abolition of white supremacy / ableism / carceral neoliberal capitalism / settler colonialism / cisheteropatriarchy. absent this, we're left trying to fill in the gaps, collectively, as best we can, while always acknowledging that we are putting interpersonal band-aids on systemic harms.

with all that being said, i think the best place to start would be to take stock of what and who you have as resources: are there any friends you feel comfortable sitting beside or watching a movie with, even if you don't feel ready or comfortable sharing "deeper" stuff with them? do you have internet people, or a place where you can shout into the void (like tumblr)? is there a public space you can go to, like a park, where you can at least get out of the house for a little while and be alone among others?

i personally take medication, though i'm tapering one of the last ones i'm on, and chose to discontinue the myriad pills i was prescribed as an involuntary psych inpatient. this isn't because meds are inherently evil, but only because i didn't like who i was when i was on them, nor could i tolerate the conditions under which they were forced on me. absent these meds, i have found other ways to move through my own brainstuff: occasionally weed (e.g. right now), more often forcing myself to sit next to other people who i know will make sure i don't do anything shitty to myself (even if we're not in active conversation). i have a bunch of youtube videos, books, audiobooks, podcasts, etc. on deck.

i have throughout the last few years cultivated an online and in-person community in which i'm not "burdening" / "dumping" my shit onto one or even a couple individuals all the time. you're right that the full extent of what we experience is definitely too much for one other interlocutor to take - we're designed to live in community, not in isolated couples. it's also true that, while occasionally and contingently helpful, a professional counselor or therapist can be inaccessible, abusive/violent, etc. etc.

while you're waiting to experiment with the free therapy you mentioned, it might be a good idea to reach out to people you do trust to have a frank, meta-conversation about your respective relational needs. this can feel weird at first, but i autistically love it, and it's also common in a lot of kink/bdsm communities (of which there's plenty of ND overlap haha). rules can be freeing. you don't have to worry about violating unspoken boundaries when you've spoken them, and established nonjudgemental ways of enforcing them and holding each other accountable when you haven't. in the past, i've established these both verbally and in google docs, etc. i've also established it - and found it especially helpful - in situations where myself and the other person(s) experience different axes of privilege and marginalization. but regardless, it's a great way of self-designing the boundaries that in many cases we expect therapy to do for us - except, without the carceral impulse endemic to the psych practice.

i also think it's okay to acknowledge that you might be a burden sometimes, and that the people who love you will carry you. they know you'll do the same for them. part of being in relation to others is sometimes receiving more than we give - it's part of being alive, being vulnerable. let yourself be cared for, let yourself be heavy. think about how good it feels to fall into bed at the end of the day. rest is the first step to feeling a little better.

[spacetimewithstuartgary]

New SpaceTime out Friday....

SpaceTime 20240426 Series 27 Episode 51

How Pluto got its heart

The mystery of how Pluto got a giant heart-shaped feature on its surface has finally been solved with the cause being attributed to a giant and slow oblique-angle impact.

No gamma rays from nearby supernova

The explosive death of a star in a nearby supernova last year offered astrophysicists an opportunity to test ideas about how these powerful blasts accelerate cosmic rays to super luminal speeds.

Last ever Delta rocket launch

A bit of history was made this month with the last ever launch of a delta rocket.

The Science Report

More than one billion people in the world are now living with obesity.

Study says foods that contain resistant could help with weight loss.

The new automatic toilet flushing device that only works with the lid down to keep the nasties in.

SpaceTime covers the latest news in astronomy & space sciences.

The show is available every Monday, Wednesday and Friday through Apple Podcasts (itunes), Stitcher, Google Podcast, Pocketcasts, SoundCloud, Bitez.com, YouTube, your favourite podcast download provider, and from www.spacetimewithstuartgary.com

SpaceTime is also broadcast through the National Science Foundation on Science Zone Radio and on both i-heart Radio and Tune-In Radio.

SpaceTime daily news blog: http://spacetimewithstuartgary.tumblr.com/

SpaceTime facebook: www.facebook.com/spacetimewithstuartgary

SpaceTime Instagram @spacetimewithstuartgary

SpaceTime twitter feed @stuartgary

SpaceTime YouTube: @SpaceTimewithStuartGary

SpaceTime -- A brief history

SpaceTime is Australia’s most popular and respected astronomy and space science news program – averaging over two million downloads every year. We’re also number five in the United States.  The show reports on the latest stories and discoveries making news in astronomy, space flight, and science.  SpaceTime features weekly interviews with leading Australian scientists about their research.  The show began life in 1995 as ‘StarStuff’ on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation’s (ABC) NewsRadio network.  Award winning investigative reporter Stuart Gary created the program during more than fifteen years as NewsRadio’s evening anchor and Science Editor.  Gary’s always loved science. He studied astronomy at university and was invited to undertake a PHD in astrophysics, but instead focused on his career in journalism and radio broadcasting. He worked as an announcer and music DJ in commercial radio, before becoming a journalist and eventually joining ABC News and Current Affairs. Later, Gary became part of the team that set up ABC NewsRadio and was one of its first presenters. When asked to put his science background to use, Gary developed StarStuff which he wrote, produced and hosted, consistently achieving 9 per cent of the national Australian radio audience based on the ABC’s Nielsen ratings survey figures for the five major Australian metro markets: Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Perth.  The StarStuff podcast was published on line by ABC Science -- achieving over 1.3 million downloads annually.  However, after some 20 years, the show finally wrapped up in December 2015 following ABC funding cuts, and a redirection of available finances to increase sports and horse racing coverage.  Rather than continue with the ABC, Gary resigned so that he could keep the show going independently.  StarStuff was rebranded as “SpaceTime”, with the first episode being broadcast in February 2016.  Over the years, SpaceTime has grown, more than doubling its former ABC audience numbers and expanding to include new segments such as the Science Report -- which provides a wrap of general science news, weekly skeptical science features, special reports looking at the latest computer and technology news, and Skywatch – which provides a monthly guide to the night skies. The show is published three times weekly (every Monday, Wednesday and Friday) and available from the United States National Science Foundation on Science Zone Radio, and through both i-heart Radio and Tune-In Radio.

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (7-13 Apr 2024)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰 If This Is As Far As We Go (BeauRadley) - 124K, stucky no-powers AU - after a year of being phenomenal hookup buddies, bucky ends their arrangement & throws steve into a tailspin - slow burn, angsty, oblivious steve slowly realizing his true feelings, good supporting cast

😊 Bunt! Striking Out on Financial Aid (Ngozi Ukazu & Mad Rupert) - cute graphic novel about art students forming a softball team to exploit a financial aid loophole

😍 Death in the Spires (KJ Charles, author; Tom Lawrence, narrator) - historical murder mystery set in 1905 Oxford - another KJC absolute banger: incredible sense of place, fantastic characters, perfectly done 'whodunnit' tension and a HIGHLY SATISFACTORY resolution. Loved every word

💖💖 +76K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

The Man, the Myth, the Legend (sparklyslug) - Check Please!: gen, 2.9K - Holster's beatboxing skills brings all the a capella groups to the Haus - a short, fun, funny, outsider POV fic

Say it louder for the people in the back (redhook) - MCU: shrinkyclinks, 14K - reread, forever fave - sometimes you just get a yearning to reread the best glory hole fic ever written

In Focus (sparklyslug) - Check Please!: zimbits, 6K - Jack's photography eye knows what's up before his conscious brain does

Entering Orbit (museaway) - Star Trek AOS: spirk, 30K - good post-AOS canon-divergent fic where Jim goes home to Iowa to escape the press & Spock joins him

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Hot Ones - Conan O'Brien

QI - series S, ep 13

Game Changer - s6, e5 {Bingoception}

Um, Actually - s9, e4

D20: Fantasy High: Junior Year - "Dawn of Justice" (s21, e14)

D20: Adventuring Party - "We're Running on 200%" (s16, e14)

Death In Paradise - s11, e4-8; s12 e0-8, s13 e0-8

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Working - How to Be Both a Critic and a Creator

Worlds Beyond Number - WWW #10: Of the Reaching Green

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep10 "Of the Reaching Green"

Short Wave - How Climate Change And Physics Affect Baseball

Consider This from NPR - Bad Omens Or The Cycle of Nature? How The Ancient World Viewed Eclipses

⭐ Armchair Expert - Anna Kendrick [Rerelease from 1/9/23]

Today, Explained - Is college still worth it?

The Sporkful - Jewish Food Is More Than Matzoh Balls

WikiHole - BEYONCÉ (with Zoë Chao, Nat Faxon and Poppy Liu)

⭐ All Songs Considered - Songs to make you laugh, with 'Weird Al' Yankovic

In Defense of Fandom - Season 2 Episode 2: Putting my theory to the test

Dinner’s on Me - Orville Peck

⭐ Switched on Pop - Chasing old sounds: Djo's "End of Beginning" with Joe Keery

⭐ 99% Invisible #577 - The Society of Ambiance Makers and Elegant Persons

⭐ Vibe Check - A Special Conversation with Ada Limón

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Brown Mountain Lights

Short Wave - The Order Your Siblings Were Born in May Play a Role in Identity and Sexuality

⭐ Code Switch - How Frederick Douglass launched generations of Black and Irish solidarity

⭐ Decoder Ring - Can the “Bookazine” Save Magazines?

⭐ Imaginary Worlds - African Sci-Fi Looks to a Future Climate

Worlds Beyond Number - WWW #11: Promises Promises

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep11 "Promises Promises"

What Next: TBD - Does Google Suck Now?

Short Wave - What To Know About The New EPA Rule Limiting 'Forever Chemicals' In Tap Water

Code Switch - Reflecting on the legacy of O.J. Simpson

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Atlas Obscura Live: Two Places And A Lie

Dear Prudence - I Lost a Lot of Weight and Now I Enjoy Being a Mean Girl. Help!

It's Been a Minute - The car culture wars; plus, the problem with child stars

Endless Thread - RIP Lil Miquela

Shedunnit - You Probably Imagined It!

Armchair Expert - John Cena

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - [One Shot] A County Affair: Prologue

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

Presenting Bonnie Raitt

Lowrider Oldies

Huge House Anthems

Djo

Classic Soul BBQ

A LA SALA [Khruangbin] {2024}

Presenting Khruangbin

Happy Beats

'80s One-Hit Wonders

Feel-Good Classic Rock

[brunchable]

Conflict Resolution Chapter 1 — Languish || Surgeon!S.S. × Asian!Reader.

Warnings: Coarse Language, Sexual Elements, Medical elements Pairings: Stephen Strange x Asian!Reader (OC) A/N: I have no ownership of this story, all credits go to Kate Canterbary for her book, The Worst Guy. The whole time I was reading the story I couldn't help but think of Doctor Strange asdfghjkl. I'm assuming you wanted to be tagged in this if you liked the master list post. If you want to be removed then let me know. Peace. I have a messy tag list and I always miss people, I'll try to make a google form so you can send in your usernames ;_;

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Stephen

My dick was languishing. Stephen learned that word recently. Languishing. Not depressed but not thriving. Just drifting along, one unsatisfied day melting into another. And—before you get the wrong idea—this wasn't a performance issue. 

Stephen performed beautifully. He always rose to the occasion and he stayed standing until everyone was satisfied. Most mornings he awoke to find himself at full salute, wrenched out the quickest flash of gratification, and then went back to feeling nothing. With the bitter aftertaste of that thought in his mouth, he kicked the bedsheets away and rolled his head to the side. 

Glaring out the window felt right, seeing as his view consisted of a brick wall and a hazy slice of early morning sunlight. He understood everything about that wall. 

Hard as fuck and not a damn good thing to be done about it. Languishing, to be sure. None of his usual vices did the trick. There used to be a time when the mere mention of college volleyball players was enough to get him off. God, he missed being twenty-four. 

Most people assumed his fascination with hardcore competitive volleyball was about the outfit. It wasn't. Those competitions—the ones where they go on full rallies, spiking the ball, digging for the ball like permanent neurological damage was no big deal—chilled him the fuck out. 

Volleyball players was to him what true crime podcasts were to women with attachment issues. Also, he couldn't tear his eyes off the Spikers. There was something about their thick, powerful thighs. They all had them. Of course they did. You couldn't launch into space without some rock-solid quads and they had them. 

Fuck, did they have them. He wanted to live in a world of pear-shaped women and wear those thighs as earmuffs every night. Every damn night. Wanting it didn't mean it would ever happen. The primary reason for that was the gaping hole where his interpersonal skills should've been, the hole he was certain he'd had from the early days and which had widened over the years. He lived a solitary life and he liked it that way for reasons he was too hard and miserable to enumerate this morning. 

The fact he had a group of friends at all and they continued to request his presence was a curiosity he still did not understand. He assumed they'd adopted him as some sort of wonky mascot. The secondary reason—not far disconnected from the first—was he didn't enjoy people and he really didn't like them in his space. 

If there were to be earmuffs in his life, he'd have to haul himself to the earmuff's apartment. That sounded great at first but  knew it would become a hassle. His work hours tended toward unpredictable—neuro surgery was a pain in the ass like that—and there were many days when he came home too fried to form words. 

As much as he liked the idea of a sexual relationship conceived without the requirement of speaking, he knew that wouldn't last. It couldn't. The day would come when he'd hear—barely, since her thick, glorious thighs would cancel out most sound—her ask about his day. Or, god forbid, she'd want to talk about feelings or the unholy curse of where is this going. That led quite naturally to the final reason that nothing so miraculous would ever happen to him: he didn't know how to keep people in his life. He could give all the beard rides in this time zone but that didn't change the fact he was thirty-two years old and didn't know how to make anyone stay. His mother was the only person who'd ever stuck around. His little sister Donna too, but it wasn't as though she'd had much of a choice in the matter. So, here he was, with his languishing dick and sudden apathy for collegiate volleyball players with thunder thighs.

Not that his dick ruled his life. It did not. Hell, he didn't know who had the time to live that way. Maybe when he was in his twenties, grossly self-involved and capable of engaging in social activities after work, but he couldn't do that anymore.

These days, his life went to hell if he didn't get at least seven solid hours of sleep a night. Maybe it was wrong but he was more interested in chasing a good night's sleep than a partner for some earmuff action. Just didn't seem like there was any point, and he knew that didn't make sense. Not that any of this made sense. A lot of things were going right in his life these days. He didn't have any reason to be so…bored. 

Things were finally, strangely good for him and he was more unsettled than ever. He hated that feeling. It was like his skin was too tight and the sun too dim and every passing minute a second too long. Everything was off, and his dick, the original canary in this coal mine, had figured it out before he could. Rude. 

What the fuck did I have to be unhappy about? Why couldn't I be content with the handful of decent, functional things I had in this miserable, broken world? Why couldn't any of this be enough for me? 

He shifted away from the window with a long, obnoxious sigh. Enough of that whining. He had to get ready for work. He didn't have time for this. Emergency surgery didn't care whether his dick was in high spirits or not—and that was why this was the gig for him. He didn't have to think about himself at all.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

His life looked a little something like this: surgical on-calls, sleep, research, complaining about the weather in this dark, frigid concrete jungle of New York, hunting for good avocados, clinical care, death march running sessions with his part-time sadist friend Anthony, hating everything, third-wheeling it with Anthony and his wife because they were the only people who tolerated him on account of him vocally hating everything, migraines, and covering for other surgeons in his practice who, unlike him, went places, did things, and enjoyed the company of others. 

And that was how he found himself working a twenty-four-hour surgical on-call shift because someone else in the practice was going to a wedding or vacation or some other nonsense. When these storms of his own stupidity arose, he always swore up and down he wouldn't cover for anyone ever again, and then he prayed the last few hours wouldn't blow up into a massive shitshow. 

Today was one of those shitshows but instead of waiting until the last hours of his shift to blow up, it started the minute he arrived. He was too busy to notice hunger, exhaustion, anything.

Surgery had a way of putting those basic needs on the back burner. All the same, the last hours were a damn mess. All of his residents and their interns were slammed, he couldn't find his fellow anywhere, and every time he cleared one surgery consult, another two sailed in. 

It was two hours past the end of his never-helping-another-colleague-again marathon shift and he was jamming through the last of his charts when he heard, "Strange? Is Strange down here?" 

There were several reasons he hung out in the emergency department, but chief among them was he could always find a quiet corner where he wouldn't be disturbed. It was the noisiest, most hectic spot in the entire hospital complex but calm could always be found in chaos. 

Except right now. He knew that voice. It had been burned into his brain on a daily basis with all of your perky, peppy screeches of "Hello there!" and "Good morning!" and "Have a good one!" 

My god. The last thing in the world I needed was a conversation with Ainsley Park. 

He'd sooner fling his body into the Hudson River and wait for nature to do its worst than willingly submit to a conversation with the reconstructive surgeon who lived in his apartment building while he was operating on zero minutes of sleep in a whole fucking day. 

Maybe he was fragile as fuck but he required a full night of sleep and a protein-packed breakfast before daring to look you in the eye. He had to be prepared for you. 

The exam room curtain clattered along its rod as you whipped it back. "Dr. Strange. I'd like a word with you." 

With a quick glance starting at the floor, he took in your lavender sneakers, navy scrub top and pants, and a circular pin announcing Vaccines Cause Adults. That much Stephen could agree with you on. 

Stephen returned to his charting. "By all means." 

"Did you staple a facial laceration?" 

"I've been here since eight yesterday morning. I've stapled a lot of skin in that time. I'm going to need you to be a hell of a lot more specific."

You let out a huff, like the aggravated little noise that puppies made when someone didn't give them the precise form of attention they wanted. "Female, age twenty-eight, orbital fracture and—" 

"—a perforated bladder and internal bleeding from an MVA. Yeah." He'd worked on her and another case from that motor vehicle accident twelve hours ago. It felt like it'd been twelve days, "What about her?" 

Your grip on the curtain tightened. "You stapled her face." 

He pecked at the keyboard for a moment. He was shit at dictation and he didn't believe in using interns as scribes so that left him to write up his cases, which he did with the most specific, detailed notes to minimise the risk of a resident calling him in the middle of the night with a question. When he walked out the door, he was gone, and he wasn't letting anyone pull him back in until it was his time. 

"Sure did. She wasn't in a position to lose any more volume and it was my call to address the lac pre-operatively." 

You huffed again, and though he didn't see it, it certainly sounded like you'd stomped your foot. Stephen watched you push your black-rimmed glasses up your nose. 

You didn't wear the glasses too often which was for the best, it really was. They made you look like you were inspecting something and never pleased with your findings. Your black silky hair was up in a ponytail with a few loose tendrils trapped behind the arm of your glasses.

Stephen went back to the keyboard. "Do you have other questions or is that it?" 

"You stapled her face," you repeated. This time, a metallic whine sounded from the curtain rod. 

You were still yanking the damn thing, your knuckles shining back at him, bony and white, as your fist tightened on the fabric. Your hands were petite, your fingers slim. Perfect for plastic surgery, Stephen was sure. You were the substantial, sturdy kind of small—short, compact, could probably beat the shit out of a punching bag—and you needed a step stool to reach the table in the OR. 

He'd never noticed your hands before. You saw each other in passing all the time though it was usually your big, messy, bun that caught his attention. Couldn't miss it. 

You moved in the same group of friends too though both of you rarely talked. He could tell you were a bruiser behind all that outward sunshine. You'd be nice as hell but you'd cut anyone who dared to cross you. Not that he cared. 

Stephen spared you a glance as he returned to his notes. One last case and this annoying conversation to get through before he was done with this place for three whole days. 

"I suppose this is an inefficient way of telling me that—as far as plastics is concerned—staples are not the standard of care for such a case." 

"I'm telling you that your staples were clumsy and careless." 

Stephen jerked his head up. He wasn't annoyed anymore. Now he was pissed, "I doubt that." 

"You doubt—" you stopped yourself, your lips pressed tight together, your facial muscles twitching and your shoulders sharp like you wouldn't tolerate his response. 

You stood tall—or as tall as a little bit like you could—your feet anchored a shoulder's width apart in a stance that said fuck around and find out. Stephen gave you a solid minute to finish that sentence.

When you didn't, he said, "I staple lacerations all the time. If we're able to clean it up, we do, but we're also aware they can wait until we've saved the patient from dying on the table to make their superficial injuries look nice. I'm sure you can agree it's more important to stop a haemorrhage or preserve organ systems than wait for plastics to put a face back together." 

Your eyes flashed as you drew in a breath, "Do you know anything about skin? Or suturing? Or healing? Because—" 

"Especially when there's an orbital fracture involved," he continued. "Isn't that the entire reason for plastics and reconstructive surgery? To put things back together after the life-threatening priorities have been sorted?" 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" 

"Many things, but my treatment prioritisation has never been one of them." 

You would've continued your tirade, of this he was certain, if you hadn't delivered another feral yank to the curtain. Instead of further debate as to the hierarchy of interventions with trauma cases—and whether he knew his shit—you tore the curtain from its clips and dislodged the rod from the ceiling in the process. 

What came next was pure instinct. He didn't think about his actions at all. Maybe he should have, but if stopping and deliberating over split-second decisions was part of his brain's wiring, he wouldn't be a neurosurgeon. If he wasn't a neurosurgeon, he wouldn't be hiding out in this exam room, arguing about treatment plans with this screech owl of a plastic surgeon. 

He wouldn't have sprung off the gurney and pushed you out of the way as the rod fell, along with two ceiling tiles. He wouldn't have flattened you to the floor when the rod hit a metal procedure tray and sent it cartwheeling into an interior window, wheels first, while the supplies stationed on that tray rained down over both of you and the unmistakable sound of slowly shattering glass filled the room. He wouldn't have stayed there, in that small, half-hidden exam room, with his body curled over Ainsley Park's and a hand holding your head to his chest while the glass crumbled from the window casing. 

And he definitely wouldn't have yelled, "What the hell is wrong with you!?" while a half dozen emergency department employees rushed into what was left of the exam room.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Tags: @winsteria @classicrebound @gwephen @patbrdac @goldencherriess @elizabethdarcy29 @strangeobsessed @strangelockd @lady-harvey @mirikusashes @rbymoon @k1mikoz @allie131313 @strangesthirdeye @nicoletk @sleutherclaw @dragonqueen89 @bloodyxsaint @3443652 @pinkthick @iamdedsthingz @casualimaginesfluffwagon @im-akira @faltinestrange @ilikedarkrai @alicia-c37 @phatm00d @xunquish-blog @keistange @omgstarks @jotaros-bara-tiddies @gaitwae @sherlux

[talesyettold]

Welcome to the Sublime🍁

You haven't listened to Strangers in the Wood yet??? Well, you're only missing out on one of the best actual play series that has ever hit your podcatchers. We've got the awards to prove it.

Illustration by @spookynest

“But what is it?” You ask.

Strangers in the Wood is the first season of our show, Tales Yet Told, which premiered on September 2021. The whole season is only 33 episodes, each sitting around an average of an 1hr 30min per episode. It’s weirdly fun, surprisingly vulnerable, and horrifically evocative.

Strangers in the Wood is possible because we’re playing Babes in the Wood 1e by World Champ Game co., a ttrpg heavily inspired by Over the Garden Wall. It’s a narrative focused game using the Powered by the Apocalypse engine to help facilitate a story of tense and intimate horror and it serves as the backbone of everything Strangers in the Wood is.

Strangers in the Wood follows the story of two foster siblings, Dorothy and Dakota, as they wander a mysterious forest ruled by a shadowy entity known as The Stranger. Thankfully they have their friend Walter, the talking weasel to be their guide. If this sounds like Over the Garden Wall…that’s on purpose

“But who is it?” You shout from the windows.

Kendo (They/He) as The Game Master Hi, that's me. I'm our narrative facilitator and arbiter of consequences. I've been playing ttrpgs as a semi-forever GM for about a decade now. I started in D&D 4e and have since fallen in love with the indie ttrpg scene. I have a love for character-driven stories and exploring ourselves and the world around us through collaborative storytelling.

Dr. Hilda (She/Her) as Dorothy Margaret Reed - (She/Her) Dorothy Reed is a shy yet stubborn 7-year-old with dark hair and blue eyes. She idolizes her foster-sibling Dakota as well as her bio-sister Hazel from whom she was separated when she entered the foster system due to their large age gap and Hazel aging out of the system quickly. She enters the sublime dressed as a pepper shaker for Halloween and also wears a hand-me-down blue coat and red shoes that she got to pick out herself. She is incredibly happy with her life at the Abbott's home and wants desperately to return to the only place she’s felt safe. Her biggest fears include spiders, dogs, and the dark.

Marcie (She/They) as Dakota Wallace - pre episode 21(She/Her), post episode 21 (He/They) Dakota Wallace is a fiery and hardheaded 15 y/o boy with short black hair and green eyes. He grew up with an only father who live a hard and fast life with Dakota being there for the worst of it. As he got older he learned that if he wanted his place in life he has to fight for everything. After his father had a particularly bad incident, Dakota was thrust into the foster care system where he began to feel like an outcast. He enters the sublime dressed as Ferris Bueller for Halloween. He is afraid of returning home to the Abbott's and that he will always cause destruction wherever he goes.

Gus (He/Him) as Walter Brookstone - (He/Him) Walter is a clever and snarky young man currently in the body of a small brown weasel. He entered the Sublime after running away from home, feeling like an outcast and a loner. Here, after some time, his transformation would take place. He is determined to return Dakota and Dorothy home, hopefully sparing them his fate, and maybe cause a little mischief along the way. Walter has no love for the Sublime and would see it in shambles if he had his way. His biggest fears include being a bad person, staying a weasel forever, and owls. And yeah…that’s all of the Player Characters. Of course, there are plenty of NPCs to latch on to as well, but you’re gonna have to listen to find them. 

“But where is it?” You scrawl into a dusty tome.

Lucky for you it’s everywhere you can get your podcasts! We have new episodes every other Wednesday! Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Goodpods | Stitcher | Podchaser

“But why is it (something I should listen to)?” You whimper.

Because you love good stories. Because you love ttrpgs. Because you love Over the Garedn Wall. Because you love autumnal aesthetics. Because you love talking animals. Because you love your siblings. Because you love a crisp breeze through the trees. Because you love wandering blindly into the woods. Because you love cars driving through school hallways. Because you love selling your secrets. Because you love long road trips. Because you love the feeling after the tears have fallen. Because you love the isolating horror of recognizing your body is becoming something you don’t recognize and despite the fact that your true self is struggling to make itself known and free society will continue to treat you based on the malignant skin sack that buries your soul beneath its unrecognizable meat and despite all that you can still be firm in the fact that you are the only person who can define yourself.

All of that is Strangers in the Woods. Are you ready?

[rindomness]

what do you like about Carlos? (jackdaw) ( grdhgfyg my questions are basic because I do not know much about wtnv but don’t mind being spoilt)

FAIR WARNING: this is, like, really long? it is five pages long and that's on 11pt Arial in google docs, where I had to copy and paste it so I could fix paragraph spacing so it would post. Also, I like, legit cried while writing this? So there is that also. like thank you for the blorbo talking enabling but also i do not know if you fully grasp what youve unleashed. idk if i fully know what youve unleashed

Because what don't I like about Carlos? He is my chief blorbo. He is the Guy I think the most about. I'm a little bit beyond just blorbo thoughts about him.

Okay let's break this down a little bit 'cause there's, to put it simply, a lot. Like, fifteen thousand words and counting of fic a lot? Also, I'm gonna be getting into, like, super recent stuff and also It Devours! here so just heads up on that

So. Carlos. Carlos shakes up the entire status quo, helps put the world back together, and becomes a critical element of Night Vale. That's on a narrative level. I'm gonna start with that because that's easier for me to talk about and also won't get me called out quite as quickly!

Carlos is a driving force in the narrative, in the world. Carlos shows up in town at the very start of the podcast, says he is here to study the most scientifically fascinating place in the U.S., and proceeds to uproot every single bit of Night Vale's centuries-long status quo. Carlos shows up and turns the entire universe on its head, at least in Night Vale. If I'm going to talk about how powerful, exactly, Carlos's impact is, I need to talk about Cecil. Of course I have to talk about Cecil.

Cecil announces, on live radio, that he fell in love with Carlos immediately. Cecil instantly attaches his attention to Carlos. I talked about this a little bit more in the Night Vale essay (over here) but Cecil is vital for the continued functioning of Night Vale. In mundane terms, Cecil on the radio serves as a giver of instructions and updates and ways to stay safe in this unbelievably dangerous town. In a less mundane sense, he's the Voice of Night Vale, which is an actual title, and sort of... represents his place as the center of Night Vale's community (which contains that more mundane element) and also as the center of this weird little pocket universe Night Vale is stuck in for the first five years at least. Because Huntokar loves Night Vale and Huntokar loves Cecil and Huntokar is a god and a god's love can be a dangerous thing.

But Cecil falls in love with Carlos. Carlos, who is a scientist, who deals in observation and acknowledgement and recording information and learning from it all. Things which Night Vale, a town with a very tenuous grip on its own reality, is innately allergic to. Night Vale is built upon the necessity of ignorance and denial for survival and continued existence. It depends on Cecil, the Voice of Night Vale, not changing, not growing, not looking, not for real. And he falls in love with a scientist, and he changes.

Narratively, it's absolutely insane how much power Carlos holds. Given the rules of the universe, Carlos is incredibly powerful. In Night Vale, perception is reality and acknowledgement becomes a threat to the powers that be. If it were anyone except Carlos, there is absolutely no way that any of the enforcement entities in town would let him get away with even a little bit of what he's able to. But Cecil loves him. I fully ascribe to the idea that Carlos's miraculous rescue and survival in One Year Later is because of Cecil, and Cecil refusing to accept that Carlos was dead. Cecil is powerful. And he's been protecting Carlos, in ways he might not even realize. Which means that Carlos is free to acknowledge Night Vale's weirdness, and because perception is reality in Night Vale, it changes for him.

I'll get back to this more later, but you see this a lot with the University of What It Is. If anything, that's what the UOWII arc is about. It's been a thesis since at least Who's A Good Boy? and Cecil wandering through the ruins of Night Vale, announcing that he must bear witness, even though he is sure his mic is not broadcasting to anyone. Perception is reality and acknowledgement is what is keeping Night Vale together post-Matryoshka and what kept it from toppling into the abyss to begin with. Carlos becomes unbelievably powerful in this way, in this understanding of the power of observation and recording. (I promise we will get back to the UOWII but I want to spend actual time on that and I have other stuff I wanna talk about first.)

Carlos does not seem to realize this, though, not for a while. I personally don't think that it really clicks for Carlos entirely what perception is reality means in the case of Night Vale until somewhere around Toast. I do not think it really clicks for Carlos how important he has become here, how much of an impact he has had, until reality itself starts to fall apart. The key of Carlos, and Carlos's impact, and what makes this Night Vale the True Night Vale as opposed to any of the other Night Vales we learn about, is the presence of Carlos. Every Night Vale has a Cecil, because the existence of Night Vale hinges on the existence of Cecil. There is only one Carlos, though.

Carlos only exists in this one reality. Carlos only exists in this one version of Night Vale. And we see how much that has changed things! We see it in The Missing Sky, when we hear the miniature city's Cecil and how sad he is. This Cecil is despondent, and cannot see any reason to keep going. He is deep, deep in a terrible dissociative depression, reporting on a pointless war and a missing sky and a god he believes has abandoned them. We see it in Cal, with the version of Cecil who never met Carlos, either, and Cal himself. The simple, stated question of "do you have a girlfriend yet?" sets all the scene we need for Cal. This Cecil does not have a Carlos, and he does not even have the safety in the knowledge that Night Vale is a safe place for him to announce, loudly, to the whole world, that he loves another man. And it's... depressing.

The podcast is from Cecil's point of view, so we get most of this information from listening to Cecil talk. We don't really see Carlos's perspective often, if ever, if not filtered through the way he interacts with Cecil. For that, I take us now to It Devours! because oh boy. It is very clear that Carlos loves Cecil very very deeply. If only from what we get in voicemails and phone calls. I haven't listened to it, but my understanding is that he's very clear about his love for Cecil in Condos, too. And we get it from his actions in Taking Off/Review and the way he picks up everything he's been doing for a year in the desert otherworld to go back to Night Vale and to Cecil because he loves Cecil and wants that to be his home.

Except, it wasn't a year. It was ten. And this information is revealed right alongside Carlos cares about the people he loves more than anything and the book-long element of Carlos trying, despite the wishes of City Council, to investigate the desert otherworld. I have written so much about the desert otherworld, and I will write more, because holy shit. Holy shit. I'm not going to tell you what it is because it made me almost scream for real in the very early hours of the morning when I heard it, but the information that is revealed in the very end of It Devours! is heartbreaking. Carlos cares about the people he loves more than anything, and it brings him right to the brink of destruction, because of how much he cares about Cecil and this new family he has found through Cecil. And throughout It Devours! you get such a clear idea of just how much Carlos loves Cecil, how much knowing Cecil has changed Carlos right back.

And, like, the autistic coding. It is blatant. It is obvious. It is much harder to overlook it than to notice it. It is intentional. We're getting to the part here where I might be calling myself out a little bit but like. The way that it weaves into how he expresses his love for Cecil and for Night Vale. It's the way that it is channeled through his science, and how his science helps him make sense of the world. I love him, and I love how he is written in such a way that his science has become the lens through which he navigates the world and this step-by-step justification of his existence. The way that this plays into the ongoing belongingness element of his arc throughout the podcast. 

He starts as an outsider, and he stays an outsider, and just as he's starting to think he might not be an outsider, well. The desert otherworld happens. And I've definitely worked through a lot of these thoughts already but that's what it comes down to! I cannot help but read his belongingness arc as innately tied into how he is written as autistic because that's just what it's like to grow up autistic! You don't belong anywhere, or at least that's what you're told. If you're a lucky one, that message isn't stated explicitly, but it's there. Of course he's cautious with his assertion he belongs in Night Vale! It would be a wonder if he wasn't!

So he does not know how important he is until he is forced to see it and then as soon as he is forced to see it it becomes his whole world. And every time I think about how there is only one Carlos across every single Night Vale in existence (or tentative non-existence), I have to think about how he believed he should not return to Night Vale because the door had shut for him, and how this led to spending a full ten years in a lonely and empty desert otherworld while Cecil fell apart back in Night Vale. I think about Cecil's sobbed I am still holding the trophy in One Year Later, and I think about Carlos grounds me in Delta and I think about how, in The Promise of Time, his joy at the end was for himself and Carlos, and I think about his panicked I have to call Carlos as soon as the warrant goes out in The Heist Pt. 3. And because of that... Night Vale attaches its reality to Carlos, too.

Night Vale cannot exist as it is now without both of them. There is only one version of Carlos across every single version of Night Vale. Carlos makes Night Vale what it becomes, because he witnesses. He witnesses and he records it all and he investigates and he understands. Besides Cecil, I do not think there is a single person in town other than Carlos who truly understands Night Vale. He understands it through scientific observation and archival and experimentation. Carlos pokes the boundaries to see how they'll react to him but he never crosses them, never breaks them. He does not feel the need to explain why Night Vale is the way it is now, because it simply is. He is observing the laws of this town (both legal and physical) and he respects them and nods as he passes.

Which brings us back to the University of What It Is. I said we'd come back to this, didn't I? I don't know how much I can say that doesn't lead to speculative conclusions here, because the UOWII arc isn't finished at the time of writing, but there are some things that have been laid out clearly. Janet Lubelle does not stop for anything or anyone. Janet Lubelle is what the UOWII considers to be the height of a successful scientist. Carlos used to also be considered a successful scientist, and then he came to Night Vale, and he lost whatever quality it was that the UOWII considered a qualifier of success.

Janet Lubelle does not respect the rules of Night Vale. It's very, very easy to see Dr. Lubelle as a foil for Carlos, especially since they came from the same institution. Only, Dr. Lubelle tramples over those boundaries, those unspoken (and, arguably, spoken) rules that make Night Vale what it is. She is here for an explanation for everything and she will not stop until all the mystery, all the wonder, is gone. And she calls it science. 

And if you go back far enough, Carlos talked like this too! He was looking for an explanation to Night Vale's temporal weirdness, an explanation for its weird seismic activity, an explanation for the house that does not exist. But he adapted, and he learned, and he observed, and he took his time and did not simply enforce his way of things onto the world without its permission.

Carlos feels like a love letter to science and the scientific way of observing the world and falling further in love with it through that scientific inquiry. I'm going to get a little, uh, sappy and personal here, so fair warning, but I likely have that reading because that's been how I've lived my whole life. I was talking to someone even just today about how, when I was little, my dad would take us out onto the back patio and we would set things on fire and see what we could burn to make the fire different colors. 

I've grown up with parents who deeply, truly love science. My mom has a physics degree. My dad has a math one. He still texts my family group chat every day to inform us it is pi time at 3:14. Every day. So maybe it's that, and maybe it's growing up with an understanding of the world that is rooted in scientific inquiry and questions and exploration, but Carlos feels like a love letter to science to me.

Carlos comes in and he turns the entire world on its head as he does it and he finds, at the end of the day, that he loves Night Vale. He loves Night Vale because it's so weird. It's the most scientifically fascinating place in the U.S. and this becomes his way of saying I love you. I want to understand you. Science, through Carlos, is its own sort of faith in the world and the way it is all put together, how everything connects. And Night Vale loves him back for it. He'll poke and prod at the edges but he will never cross them if he knows crossing will do harm, even if he does not fully understand why, because following an ever-growing series of whys is what science is about. Not having one single explanation at the end of the day. 

Carlos's exploration of Night Vale changes it, because it must change, everything must change eventually in order to continue to exist, and Carlos does what he can to help it not fall apart completely as it does. Carlos becomes more Night Vale as time progresses, and Night Vale lets more of Carlos in, until he is so enshrined in it that it is just his life. Night Vale lets him rest, and here, in this weird, weird town that is so incredibly hard to find, he finally finds a place he belongs. I don't know what isn't to love about that.

[lycanlovingvampyre]

What the Ghost? - The Devil’s Dance & Highgate Cemetery

So I have heard The Devil's Dance before, never listened to the Highgate Cemetery though. So these are my very first thoughts on that one.

The Devil's Dance

"We’ll be peering into the murky depths of history this week, unraveling the story of a deadly plague that spread terror across Europe for centuries." I mean, the title Devil's Dance says it all, but after just this sentence I knew it was the Dancing Plague.

How many puns and silly sound effects can you cram into a podcast? XDDD

"Being up close and personal with the supernatural all day can really wreak havoc with your nerves at night! That’s why I need the best possible mattress to help me drift off to sleep. Luckily, I have my Bedcetera mattress so I can rest in peace!" Ah yes, mattress sponsors in podcasting...

"But one of the strangest cases occurred in 1237 in a town called Erfurt, Germany. Records from the time say that, for one day, a hundred children started feverishly dancing, moving as one all the way to Arnstadt, over twelve miles away, before all collapsing of exhaustion, their feverish movements stopped as suddenly as they started. Though the facts about the children of Erfurt are hidden in the depths of history, their story lives on in the fearsome tale of the Pied Piper." This is apparently a very famous folktale even internationally. Wikipedia calls it a legend? I don't think that term fits. It's called "Sage" in German, which derives from the verb "sagen" - to speak, to say, to tell. Or "Gesagtes" - something that has been said or told. Like... tale! Folktale. In German, a legend (it's literally just "Legende") is distinct from a Sage or Märchen (fairytale), but still close. The English "Saga" also wouldn't fit, that sounds way too epic and heroic. But the German "Sage" does also have its origins in the Old High German term "Saga". Dug a bit into legend. That term comes from the Medieval Latin "legenda" which means "that, which is to read", or "to be read". So a legend got primarily passed down in written form, and Sagen in verbal form, therefore changing ever so slightly over the years. There is no English Wikipedia page for Sagen, it's a very regional label. Boy, that escalated quickly...

"What The Ghost? listeners get a month’s membership for free! No need for a code; (voice climbing higher) they already know who you are! (still at a markedly higher register) SparksFly: Privacy is just another word for loneliness?!" That's the Eye, right? Or is it Web? It's on the Web... But secrets (*cough* search history *cough*) revealed is usually Eye. And, the Eye is the... Fly in the Web! (I know, it's called sparks flying when two people are obviously attracted to each other. But I also want in on the pun fun!) Also this is sponsor section is glorios xD

"Historians, police officers, and city planners who exhume the bodies find them looking mutilated or mutated. Reports describe skeletons with too many bones, limbs that are too long, and joints that bend in a way that the best doctors claim they should not." A bit of Flesh? (too many bones) Or a bit of the Spiral (long limbs). There's certainly something Spiral-y to it.

Highgate Cemetery

Looked for pictures of the Highgate Cemetery on Google. It's beautiful!

"And remember, that those tombs that do lock, always do so from the outside." Yeah, I mean who's supposed to lock it from the inside? A vampire???

Ah, the names were changed. I mean it is very recent history, so super understandable. David Farrant got changed into Daniel Tarrant. And the original Sean Manchester got changed into Shane Sheffield. Very clever!

While we're at the Highgate Trivia, check this out: "The Highgate Vampire appears as a villain in the Dark Horse comics series Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Nine. The Highgate Vampire is revealed to be, not a vampire, but an insectoid demon that feeds off its victims' emotional trauma." lol

"While Daniel claimed to have seen a tall man in a hat striding across the cemetery grounds" Oh god, I'm sitting alone in a wide open living room with big windows, it’s dark and my spouse already went to sleep... Okay... I am not my fear. The Hat Man is a very common image. People suffering from sleep paralysis might know about it or have actually seen it. I don't know why this certain hallucination is so wide-spread, and I don't wanna look it up right now, that shit gets me.

"Webly always knows what I want to do next. And the best part is, I never have to worry whether I can trust anything on the net because Webly tells me I can. Don't think, just webley.com! " Okay so this is very easy. Web.

"To get your first box for half price, just enter the code, MEATCUTE." Pffffffft, that after we just listened to Jon and Martin's meet-cute yesterday xD (also Flesh, of course. That is where Toby Carlisle from MAG 18 got his meat from!)

@a-mag-a-day

[santmat]

God's Name is the Foundation for a Spiritual Way of Life: Simran Practice in Sant Mat - Spiritual Awakening Radio Podcasts - Sant Mat Satsang Podcasts - A Satsang Without Walls

Kirpal Singh: "Simran is the first step of the spiritual ladder." "By Simran of Holy Names, we get rid of the thoughts of the world. One feels the presence of God." "Simran bestows happiness, peace and bliss, and leads us to a state of super-consciousness." "Simran is a weapon against all dangers. It acts as a password to all spiritual planes. It gives strength and sustenance to the body and mind during trouble and affliction, and brings the soul near the Master." "Remembrance of God is the main thing before us to find the way to Him." "Simran gives pleasure and removes pain. By doing the Simran of the Lord, one merges in Him."

Baba Ram Singh: "It is Simran only which helps us to focus our attention from this world outside and come to the Tenth Door and go within. So, we should do as much of Simran as possible. When we are eating, or when we are walking, or doing other mundane activities, we should continuously keep our mind focused on Simran. And that will help us to more expeditiously move on this Path."

Spiritual Awakening Radio Podcast - God's Name is the Foundation for a Spiritual Way of Life: Simran Practice in Sant Mat @ YouTube: 

https://youtu.be/9CsSoPX36qk

Spiritual Awakening Radio Podcast - God's Name is the Foundation for a Spiritual Way of Life: Simran Practice in Sant Mat - Listen/Download @ the Podcast Website:

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"Simran" is a term which means "Remembrance", the spiritual practice of remembering or being mindful of God by repeating his Name or Names. Devotees sing or chant various names for God. Higher spiritually, and more "within" is the practice of "manas jap", the mental repetition of God’s name or names "with the tongue of thought" -- in other words, chanting names of God within one’s mind. The Sants have always placed much greater emphasis upon mental Simran over vocal chant, as it takes one further within via the Third Eye Center.

Definitions of Simran: "Repetition of names or thoughts; in Sant Mat, the simran [or remembrance] of worldly thoughts is controlled through the Simran [remembrance] of the Five Charged Names, repeated by an initiate throughout the day and when sitting for meditation as a means of collecting the thought currents at the Third Eye Center; Simran is also used as a password of sorts to higher planes and protection from Negative Power influences." (Glossary, Satsang Discourses of Baba Ram Singh)

These sacred names that are to be repeated are revealed to the spiritual seeker by a living master (Sant Satguru) at the time of their initiation into Surat Shabd Yoga, the Path of Meditating Upon the Inner Light and Sound of God.

What is the practice of the Name (Simran)? It is a form of interior prayer by which a person learns to keep his or her attention always in God, in every circumstance and situation, at all moments, through day and night. It is a form of inner remembrance that leads to a heightened awareness beyond the limitations of the physical world and the portals of death. Through meditation on the Name (Naam Bhakti) one learns to draw one’s attention away from the outer world.

There is however, more to Simran than the repeating of sacred names. Simran must be approached with the right attitude, the right spirit, for one’s intent determines how successful the practice will be, and what effect it will have upon one’s consciousness. Simran has never been intended to be a dry or lifeless mantra practice. The path of the Sants is a Bhakti path, a path of love and devotion for the Supreme Being. Thus, the true Masters have always instructed their students to repeat God’s Name with love and devotion, as a lover calling out to one’s Beloved, the Lord of Love.

In Divine Love (Bhakti), Light, and Sound, At the Feet of the Masters, Radhaswami,

James Bean

Spiritual Awakening Radio Podcasts

Sant Mat Satsang Podcasts

A Satsang Without Walls

Sant Mat Radhasoami

https://www.SpiritualAwakeningRadio.com

[generic-whumperz]

CW: IRL cult experience, MLM (as in “multi-level marketing,” not “men-loving man”), mentions of depression and thoughts of suicide, talk of pursuing legal action

***

Disclaimer- This is all my personal experience, and thoughts and feelings expressed here are only my own and do not reflect the organizations or all persons within the organizations.

***

I know this is a weird place to be sharing what I’m about to, but quite honestly, I don’t know where else to divulge this information other than Reddit.

Here we go-

Several years ago, I accidentally joined a cult within a cult, a subset of Amway at the time called “World Wide Dream Builders.” They have since renamed their organization “World Wide Group” because they began getting negative affiliation with their name as people began exposing them online. (Just Google “World Wide Dream Builders” if you are interested.) But make no mistake, this is the same damn company cult, run by the same people, doing the same shit, and probably using the same or similar tactics.

After moving out of state in 2018 for a myriad of reasons, but a determining number of them being my need for a clean slate, I began to slowly unpack what the fuck I was just a part of and started a long healing journey (from that and much else). A significant component to my understanding of what was really going on and how cults and MLMs operate were the podcasts “Life After MLM,” “Sounds Like A Cult,” “Sounds Like An MLM But Okay,” and “The Dream.” And, of course, Leah Remini’s series “Scientology and the Aftermath” helped me realize just how deep-rooted cults are in American culture at large. If you’ve been in one cult, you’ve kinda been in all of them. (Additionally, r/antiMLM is an excellent source for all things anti-MLM, and this Facebook group is great for ex-members of WWDB/WWG specifically.)

It took me years to make peace with myself over how I could have gotten mixed up with such blatant bullshit and fuckery. I wasn’t in for very long, but those five months where I was dedicated and “all in” (as they say) were a roller coaster, and my mental and physical health was at an all-time low. I was extremely depressed and, at a point, even suicidal, largely due to the “brainwashing” (thought-stopping clichés, love-bombing, and bait-and-switching) and being fed the narrative that “all my problems would go away if I just practiced CORE” (the cult’s acronym for how each good little IBO {another bullshit acronym short for “independent business owner”} should be living day-to-day). I was extremely volatile at the time, and instead of being told that I just needed to “lean into my upline” (my culty superiors), by my upline, they should have urged me to seek professional counseling and help. They were not therapists, psychiatrists, or counselors to any degree, yet they loved to masquerade around as such. 

I could go on and on about all this, but the point of me sharing all this is that back in 2020, I submitted a formal complaint (against either Amway or WWDB, or both; it’s been a while, so I do not remember which) to the FTC. A couple of months ago, I was finally contacted by a senior investigator regarding my submitted complaint. But at the time, I was sick and bedridden with COVID, and I still haven’t responded to them. To be honest, I don’t know what to do or say. Amway is no stranger to class-action lawsuits, and I believe WWDB changed its name because of class-action lawsuits against them.

I still have some of my official paperwork/documents and notes that I took during our “meetings,” but I don’t know if these have any teeth, as so much has changed internally now. My question is if anyone has dealt with the FTC in regards to MLMs and what their experience was. I’m afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing- I don’t know what to say- where to even start. Or is this more so the FTC trying to add me to a class action lawsuit against one or both companies?

I’m hoping to find someone who has gone through this process and can share some words of advice. Or, if you have an Amway/WWDB/WWG/BWW/etc., feel free to reach out to me or reblog this with your experience! My DM’s are always open to those seeking catharsis in this strange and unusual experience and to validate you that yes, that was happening, and yes, that shit was whack!

*A note to my fellow whumpers: I decided to share this here, on my whump blog of all places, because I feel like there is an overlap of connoisseurs of whump and people who have been through some strange experiences. And because this is the first time I’ve felt safe enough in a space to do so. Know that you are not alone! I shared this in hopes of it reaching and helping someone-anyone. Even if one person gets something from this, that’s more than enough for me. Again, my DM’s and asks are open to fellow culties!

P.S. If you are an Amway/WWG/general MLM sympathizer who feels the unnecessary need to DM me or send me an anonymous ask, don’t. Practice self-restraint. I don’t care to hear whatever string of words you feel so compelled to share, insisting that I’m “wrong,” a “loser,” or a “failure,” and that “the system works” because your upline Crown Diamond, Double-Eagle Ruby, Emerald, or your brother, sister, mom, dad, cousin, or whoever else told you so or claims to be a living testament of- it doesn’t and I’m most certainly not. Even if you do know “someone at the top,” it is at the expense of hundreds, if not thousands, of people beneath them, funneling money back up through WWG tool kit systems and dubious “recruitment bonuses.” I won’t read whatever hogwash you send; it will be promptly deleted, and I will block you.