#it is a deeply bizarre place

[impossible-rat-babies]

not me still v crying over the omnicron quests !

[llamagoddessofficial]

In today's age of magic, shapeshifting has never been easier or more frequent. Have you started to notice your partner has some strange quirks? Does your husband, wife, spouse or significant other demonstrate some odd behaviours that you've only started to take real notice of after significant time together? Accidentally getting into a relationship with a nonhuman is more common than you might think. Here's a handy guide on some entities your partner might be, in case you feel you need to approach that topic.

1 - Fae Fae are a very diverse race, ranging wildly in appearance and power, and disguising themselves as humans is an everyday occurrence. You most likely grew up on stories about not giving your name to strangers, in case they are Fae - unknowingly marrying a Fae is shockingly common, the Bureau of Nonhuman Entities (BoNE) estimates that anywhere between 0.5 to 2% of human marriages actually include one or more Fae in disguise. Here are the signs your partner may be Fae.

A 'green thumb', very knowledgeable about highly local plants and fungi

Strong aptitude for poetry and instruments, a very beautiful singing voice. They highly enjoy writing songs for you, composing poems about you, and singing together.

Enjoys singing you to sleep.

Wild animals are completely unafraid of them, and often approach both of you

Loves gold jewellery, but abjectly refuses to wear anything silver.

Sees suspiciously well in the dark

Cannot get drunk - Fae are often immune to human poisons

Acquaintances of yours describe your partner as 'ethereal', 'enchanting', or 'hypnotising'. You may hear comments that your partner seems out of your league.

They place a very heavy emphasis on manners and politeness, and can quickly grow upset when social rules are not followed.

When frustrated, they use swear words you've never heard before

Fae are frequently attracted to neurodivergent humans. If you're neurodivergent the likelihood is even higher.

2 - Deity Again, more common than you might think. Deities both minor and major often find themselves attracted to humans, and stories of these romances are baked into our histories. Your spouse may be the God of anything from a very specific kind of flower, to a certain weather pattern, to (rarely) something very big like knowledge or the ocean itself. They're harder to spot than Fae, often indistinguishable from a normal human thanks to their many years observing people.

The biggest clue is that they don't notice pain, and never seem to get hurt. They'll have invulnerability or high resistance to things such as burning, freezing, drowning, cutting, and blunt force trauma. They might not notice they've put their hand on a hot burner, for example.

Speaks in strangely archaic language, often misunderstanding modern trends and linguistics. Oddly knowledgeable around ancient subjects.

They may randomly smell like blood and/or smoke. This is often a sign they've just received an offering, and the intensity of the smell is stronger with more powerful deities.

They can immediately tell when someone is lying, usually without giving a cause for the knowledge.

The two of you share pet names of a celestial nature, such as "star", "nova", "sun", "moon", "comet".

When upset, they have a highly commanding voice that can shake glass or cause bizarre events to happen (ie; mist indoors, words on a page scrambling, lights changing colour).

Heightened interest in the topic of immortality - particularly your views on it. Frequently asking you 'how you would feel' if you would live forever.

3 - Dragon A very rare (but not impossible) phenomena, most people have no idea that dragons are intelligent and emotionally complex beings that can very convincingly disguise themselves. Living in caves isn't for everyone and loneliness is not just a human feeling.

Very wealthy, but with no clear sign of where the wealth originates from. They may say their money comes from a 'long-term investment'.

Highly passionate lover. Deeply devoted and affectionate, sometimes to the point of it being inappropriate in public. Enjoys big displays of affection and physical intimacy. May need to be told to slow down.

Abandonment issues. This often stems from the highly violent childhood many dragons experience, and the frequent loss of loved ones to dragonslayers. They might be reluctant to be separated too long.

Has a particular item they enjoy hoarding. This could be clothes, trinkets, plushies, shoes, anything at all. You may find that they're very easygoing about you touching their collection, maybe they even actively make you part of the hoard. They may dress you in collected clothes, sort their collected plushies around your bed, or ask you to wear jewellery they've found. But they'll become extremely agitated and aggressive if anyone other than you tries to interact with 'their things'.

Prone to anger, quick-tempered.

Frequently concerned about your health, seems to perceive you as delicate and easily injured.

Please remember that if your partner IS nonhuman, they almost certainly didn't intentionally lie. Human relationships will seem very fast to other entities. Many transform into humans for a fun year out, find themselves head over heels in love, and then can't figure out the right time to tell their human lover the truth. Try not to hold it against them, everyone has their quirks!

[seattlesellie]

no bc why does ellie give off older brother’s sorta meanish friend who’s always teasing you ….

mean older brother’s friend ellie hc’s ☁️

cw: smut, mentions of alcohol

♡ mean!bbf ellie who’s introduction to you isn’t a nice or comfortable one. it's rather... bizarre. you had just finished showering, your hair still fully wet, tiny droplets of water flowing down your body. you leave the bathroom in a tiny towel, mindless as ever because this is your house, and as soon as you open the door, she just stands there. she was literally about to walk in, probably to pee or something, and she fucking startles you because who the hell is this absolute converse wearing, messy auburn haired stranger standing in front of your door?!

your parents may have told you something about your brother coming home from college for the holidays… perhaps with a certain girl this time, and you were just happy he finally got a girlfriend, or something. when you see her… yeah. thats definitely not his girlfriend. she’s so… i mean, you get it. she doesn’t look like someone who’d be into his type.

you huff out a small squeal when you’re startled by the absolute stranger, and she seems to be completely unbothered, although… her eyes wander down for a second before she catches your gaze. “who the fuck are you?” you gasp, and automatically hold the towel with a tighter grip to your body, since it almost fell off completely when you lifted your hands up out of pure panic. “ellie” she says with a smirk. she brings her hand forward to form a handshake, clearly aware that if you lifted your hand up, the towel will completely fall down. when you hold the fabric even tighter, she sighs, and places her hand back in her pocket. “are you my brother’s girlfriend?” you question, and she looks at you like you’re so fucking dumb. “do i look… like your brothers girlfriend?”

♡ mean!bbf ellie who decides that fucking with you is the funniest thing on earth, since ticking you off and making you go completely mad seems to be too easy, and one day when you have a simple dinner, just you, ellie and your brother— (since your parents maybe… went off to visit some relatives for the night) they have a conversation and she seems to completely ignore you, and he obviously does too. when they talk about something apparently “hilarious” that happened in college, a dumb thing a guy said during a lecture— as you play with your fork, squishing the food down on the plate, you decide to butt in on the conversation.

“something exactly like that happened in one of my cla—“ you quip, and ellie fully side eyes you and huffs under her breath. when she sees you stutter on your words since that look was so mean, she mocks you completely.

“my class— i mean, one t—ti”

“t—t t- what… you can’t talk?” she smirks, and tilts her head to the side. then, ellie immediately looks over to your brother and sighs. “didn’t know your sister had a stuttering problem”.

he giggles like an idiot and they immediately move on to a different topic, leaving you completely embarrassed, hot in the face and incredibly famished. you can't even eat— what if she says you chew funny.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who plays the stupidest, meanest pranks on you. they vary from hiding on the other side of the door and jumping on you with a terrifying scream, to replacing the sugar with salt in your tea like a literal 12 year old. ellie cant help but grow obsessed with how loud you yell and how your eyes pop out of your head, stomping your feet on the floor whenever you’re pissed at her. something about the way you snicker and tell her that you wish she returned to her stupid college already, the way you add an “ellieuhhhh” to the end of every sentence really just satisfies her deeply, for some reason she doesn’t… fully get yet.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who plays soccer with your brother in the yard, all sweaty with her bangs sticking to her forehead, dressed in basketball shorts and a stupidly tight tank top that make her stupidly tight abs pop out because she’s so stupidly damp with sweat, and you’re staring out of the window of your room like a creep. you’d usually rather not join because she has made it very clear that she doesn’t want to be around you unless you’re squirming or growing absolutely embarrassed. unfortunately, you’re so freaking bored and the weather outside truly is so nice— barely cloudy, the grass shining green and— fuck it. you pace downstairs, and stand stupidly still in the yard for a moment, before you gain the courage to ask if you can join. ellie obviously doesn’t want you on her team (she’d much rather humiliate you by taking the ball out of your feet at any given chance) so your brother has to take you in. you skip around the living room to put on some sneakers and when you join— it’s on. clearly, it’s not a proper game of soccer with only three players, but it’s their own version of it, and their own version is incredibly aggressive. all they do is yell at each other and elbow one another in order to keep away from the ball, and once you magically have it intertwined between your legs (your brother had finally passed it to you after literally begging for ten whole minutes) ellie makes sure to run as fast as she can, kick it violently out of your legs (that is definitely a foul, red card for ellie) and swiftly nudge you so that you fall on the grass with your nose bumping into it’s softness. she moves to stand right above you, towering over your body completely, and she's laughing her lungs out. she moves to the side to cover the sun from glowing directly in your eyes, just to force you to look into her and see how happy she is to humiliate you again. you’re absolutely pissed now, so you push your legs forward and kick her right back— she falls over you, her chest right on top of yours.

she’s heaving and panting, and you swear you could almost taste the sweat slowly leaking on her forehead. the world literally stops.

“you’re so fucking dumb” she snickers, and lifts herself off of you.

you go into your room to punch a pillow. shes so fucking annoying.

she goes into her room to do something… different. you’re so fucking annoying.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who always rolls her eyes when she sees you come closer, and constantly gives your brother those certain looks, that she clearly makes to piss you off and watch that little pout form on your lips. one morning, you walk over to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, and ellie’s in her pajamas (for some reason, you really can’t stop looking at her arms, since she’s only wearing a wife beater and some low hanging sweats). when you greet her with a chipper good morning, she mumbles a lazy “morning” back, and when you lift yourself up on your toes to grab your favorite mug, she sees your shorts ride up a bit and her breath completely cages in her throat. she considers coming over and helping you, but hearing your sweet, breathy little huffs is so much nicer.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who finds you extremely attractive, and wishes you stopped walking around the house in tiny outfits (she wouldn’t be too far off if she called them literal napkins) because you’re making it very hard to concentrate when she works on a project with your brother in the living room and you just happen to walk by, carrying a tray of freshly squeezed lemonade and offer it to them. and she hates how fucking kind you remain even though shes so mean, so she gets even meaner and tells you that the lemonade tastes bad. she spits it out inside the glass, and the way you squint your eyebrows and ask her if she wants you to make her a new one literally tugs at her heartstrings. she tells you; “s’fine, you shouldn’t be near a kitchen, like— ever again. tastes awful” and when you take the glass out of her hand and walk off without even commenting anything back, she huffs a silent “shit” under her breath and closes her eyes for a second.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who one day has a super… weird dream about you. you lounged inside a lively kitchen— but it wasn’t the one she grew familiar with. it was mostly filled with mahogany furniture, an aqua green stove and a peach colored carpet. you were baking something, and it smelled like maple and cherry and vanilla and peach cobbler, it smelled messy and like an explosion of sweetness but god, she felt the hunger in her sleep. you stood there in a little apron, and just when you shut the stove’s lid up, she hugged you from behind. she smelled your neck, and wrapped her arms around you. “smells nice, babe” she whispered. you turned around and smiled at her so big, and just as you closed your eyes and parted your lips— she woke up.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who can’t. stop. thinking. about that freaking dream. she wakes up and she feels parched, and so fucking confused. she bumps her palm against her forehead and decides she needs a tall, refreshing glass of water before she tries to slumber again, because god knows she wont be able to. she goes downstairs to the kitchen, and gets so startled when she sees your shadow standing over the stove, its just like that dream but you're not baking, there's just a bowl of cereal in your hands and random music silently coming out of your phone. when she jumps— you jump too. and you drop the whole entire bowl and the milk is now running all over your top.

“jesus fucking christ!” you gasp, and when you see that it’s ellie, her face all puffy from sleep, your heart thuds in your chest. you’ve never been… completely alone with her, not ever since you met her outside of the shower for the first time, anyways.

“why are you standing like a creep in the kitchen in the middle of the night?!” she questions.

“i was… eating”

“at 3am?”

“yes and now i guess i wont be eating anymore since you made me— drop! the entire bowl!”

for some reason, she tells you that she’s sorry. maybe it’s that fucking dream—

she hastily grabs some paper towels and helps you wipe. she’s awkwardly rubbing all over the material and shes being extremely stupid because clearly you can just change your top, this is your house after all, and your closet is right there, but she doesn’t seem to be able to stop wiping and whispering that she’s sorry and she’s tugging at your top and it… makes her flustered so she fucking stops, and throws the paper towel on the counter.

“clean yourself up— you’re the weirdo awake at 3am”

(she was right where you stood yesterday, eating some cheese puffs on the floor while watching a gaming stream but she obviously wont mention that)

♡ mean!bbf ellie who instead of surrendering to her feelings that are obviously starting to creep up, decides to grow even meaner. it’s not just random comments and stupid pranks anymore, it’s quite literally pure evilness. when she watches a film with your brother, a bowl of popcorn in her hands and some fuzzy socks, cuddled up inside a thin blanket on the couch, you decide to make an appearance. you, bored out of your mind, decided to to join in on the fun. usually, ellie had no problem if you just lounged in the living room while they watched television or played video games, because you would quite literally be completely mute and not bother them at all, untill ellie made a joke (“that dude’s head looks like the titanic’s fucking iceberg”) that you couldn’t help but laugh at. when you laughed, so hard you practically wheezed, it kind of made her feel soft and icky and she wanted to slap it out of her. today, when she saw you slide into the living room from the corner of her eye, she deadpanned completely.

“no— no, we’re not watching this with you” she snickered, and her tone was so serious and it didn’t even carry a glimmer of teasing, it was purely just mean.

you scrunch your eyebrows, and huff a quiet “what? why?”

“because you’re fucking annoying and we don’t want you around”

you went pure silent, just staring at the floor.

“why are you still standing there? go” she waved her hand, as if she was kicking out a small, pesky little animal.

you really weren’t a crybaby, but you truly didn’t deserve this. for some reason, a lump formed down your throat, and your eyes glistened. you climbed up to your room and silently sniffled.

even your brother thought she was being too mean now.

“that was kinda… fucked up”

ellie brushed her tongue on the side of her mouth, and clenched her jaw. she knows.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who notices you appear less and less around the house. mean bbf ellie, who really isn’t a bad person, she isn’t even that fucking mean, she just can’t handle her feelings and masks them completely untill you absolutely hate her guts. after that night— the night where she kicked you off to your room, you don’t chipper a good morning. you enter the kitchen, groggy and quiet, make a drink and disappear to your room with the cup in your hand. you don’t make lemonade anymore, and you don’t even laugh when she makes a stupid joke. mean ellie who misses your laugh, and tries so hard to hear it again, but fails miserably.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who loses it completely when you decide to go out to a party one night. you’re so quiet it feels almost as if you’re sneaking out, but you truly aren’t. you’re just scared she’ll make a mean comment on your dress or tell you that you look stupid with your makeup done like that.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who stares you down completely, and shamelessly checks you out when you twist the doorknob in order to leave the house.

“wh… where are you going?” she questions, and it’s so hard to keep it cool when you look so good and your thighs are on full display with your ass almost popping out of your dress. it makes her gulp because she fucking knows it’s not for her. you’re gonna go out and you’ll have people gawking over you and it drives her crazy.

“party” you simply mutter.

“dressed like that?” she clearly runs her eyes all over your body.

she's going to say something mean again. you just know it.

“really don’t have the time or the energy for your comments right now, ellie”

she wishes you added that cute uuuh, at the end of her name. you don’t.

“you look… stay safe—“

“i look what, ellie?”

“nice. y’look nice”

you shut the door. she just complimented you. that was a first.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who waits for you to come back from the party because she’s worried. she doesn’t admit it to herself, and excuses it by thinking she just can’t fall asleep because the winds too loud or the room’s too hot, so she just lays awake, waiting to hear your footsteps and your room’s door close shut— but you don’t. seem. to come. home. she feels sick because what if something happened to you— and then she feels completely stupid because you’re an adult and you’ve probably been to numerous parties already, but she can’t help but feel it in her guts. what if something happened to you? what if you drank too much and god forbid— what if you went home with somebody? she falls into the mattress with a thud and stares at the ceiling for half an hour, just picturing you making out with someone and them grabbing your waist or your ass and now she feels like she’s about to punch the damn wall— and then she hears you. you’re humming a song, specifically— cash shit by megan thee stallion, and you sound obviously drunk. she can’t let you go to sleep like that.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who propels the door open, to see you sliding down the wall, smelling like alcohol and sweet perfume and she feels sickly but she needs to take care of you, so she grabs you by the waist, guide you through the corridor, opens the door to your room and puts you down on your bed. she coo’s at you to stay quiet and calm for her.

“yeaupp m’in my baggg but im in his too…” you blabber, and burst out laughing.

“okay— okay, you good? you got contacts you need to remove? if you’re gonna throw up, i’ll get a bucket” she whispers, as she watches you swing back and forth. you look so pretty it’s incredible hard for her to be calm.

“some new sh—shoes… blah… mwahhhhh” you pull out your tongue and pucker your lips. you look incredibly silly and she swallows a giggle.

“you’re wasted, aren’t you?” now she's just caressing your face. why does she feel like she's going to faint?

“k— not t’wasted… you’re wasted… you’re wasted and pp—pretty” you mumble.

“huh?” thank god you’re drunk, because shes full on blushing.

“pretty pretty els…. s’pretty and so evil and m—mean and pretty…. like a millions pretty but—b’millions evil… so e—evil”

she decides to just shut the fuck up. keep going.

“i k—kissed somebody”

and now she’s the one who feels like she’s gonna puke.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who decides to completely give you the silent treatment. you didn’t even do anything, but god it feels like she hates you now.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who confronts you about that stupid kiss and asks you who the fuck dared to kiss a drunk girl, and you look so panicked and afraid, and it hurts when she tells you she’s gonna let your brother know and that he’s gonna kick their ass and you’re gonna be done for.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who fully breaks one day. it’s the last week of her and your brothers visit, and you haven’t talked to her for three whole days. she feels it inside of her chest, and every time you come near, it becomes harder and harder not to push you against the counter and kiss the hell out of your lips. it’s hard to stop staring and it’s hard to keep her distance so she confronts you.

“you know you told me i’m pretty, right? before you threw up on the fucking bed?”

your eyes pop out of your head. you feel absolutely embarrassed. no you didn’t.

“i did not— what? what the hell is the matter with you?” you huff, and back away.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who comes closer and closer the more you back away, because it’s becoming incredibly difficult to keep that distance apart, so she makes sure you can feel her breath on your lips and makes sure it makes you shiver— before she mutters a loud “fuck it” and takes your lips between her’s.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who kisses you so hard, it truly feels like you've never been kissed before. nothing could ever compare. when she takes your lips between her's, and sucks on the bottom one, just to hear a sweet little breath leave your mouth, she grunts. it feels like everything she's ever felt was flowing out of her body and crashing onto yours. when she squeezes your waist, and pulls you in closer so her chest bumps into yours— she breaks the kiss to look at you. my god, you're panting, and flushed, and she can feel you shaking.

"i'm sorry" she mutters, and she truly isn't, but if you keep on shaking like that, she's gonna have to start running away.

"please— don't stop"

honestly, she wasn't planning on stopping.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who picks you up, and as your legs automatically intertwine with each other on her lower back, takes you to your room and bangs you up on the door.

“what— what are you doing?” you ask, and it’s completely interrupted when her lips land on yours again. she can’t do this anymore, she can’t keep playing with you because if you kiss another person again who isn’t her she swears she’s gonna run out and beat them up, or even worse— kill them completely, and she can’t help but moan against your lips because you’re so fucking cute when you let out those noises and she needs to touch you right now or she’ll die.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who need's to hear you add that little "uuuh" at the end of her name after you kiss her because she'd imagined it too many times.

"say my name like— fuck"

"say it like you fucking do when you're pissed at me— say it"

somehow, you immediately know what she means.

"ellieuuuh!"

she's never swallowed so hard in her life. she looks at you like she's famished, and she growls. when ellie kisses you again, it feels like you're going to crash down and die.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who eats you out like shes starved in your childhood bedroom. swirls her tongue and spits on your cunt and tells you to “keep fucking quiet” or else your brother will hear, and he’s right in the next room and she told him she just went to get something to eat, so she shoves your little panties right in your mouth and holds your stomach down on the bed with her two hands, parts your pussy lips so far apart they practically burn and she goes on and on till you cum on her face twice. “atta fucking girl just like that… just like that”

♡ mean!bbf ellie who plays with your clit in little circles, sits with your back pressed against her chest, and growls every time she sees feels hole clench around her. she tells you to be a good little whore for her and take her fingers before she gives you her strap, and you don’t even know why she has it with her because— is she fucking other girls?

♡ mean!bbf ellie who isn't fucking other girls— she just brought it because she... well, maybe she looked at your brother's facebook before coming over and she happened to stumble across a very, very pretty girl

♡ mean!bbf ellie who slaps your pussy hard every time you yell out her name— “you better keep fucking quiet or m’not letting you cum” and then shoves your panties even deeper inside of your mouth till you’re almost gagging, and only takes them out by replacing them with her cunt, and makes you eat her out completely controlled by the sway of her hips as she grinds herself down and god— she fucking needs it because getting off to you from knowing you were right next to her room truly wasn’t enough so she makes sure you make her feel good, and pats your cheeks every time your tongue swirls around her clit just right.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who straps you down on the bed, whispers short circuited “take it. take it. take it” every time it hits that one spot inside of your cunt, and makes you whisper in her ear to fuck you harder and faster because hearing your sweet little voice saying these obscenities is making her clit pump and brush on the bottom of her harness just right. “you gonna be my good fucking girl— make me fucking cum inside you? hmmph?”

she can’t help but… ask you,

“you want your brother to know how much of a fucking slut you are? letting his best f—fucking friend fuck you like this?” and all you can do is whine and hiccup broken sobs of “n—no ellie dont want him to know!”

“think you fucking do— if you keep on fucking screaming like this”

♡ mean!bbf ellie who… makes you cockwarm her strap while watching tv. this time, she doesn’t kick you out. with your brother’s eyes glued to the screen, watching E.T, it’s very easy to miss out on the bulge that’s hiding inside of ellie’s sweats. she signals you to come sit on her lap, and you just nod and whisper “no”, because what if he see’s— but she grabs your waist, slides you to sit right on her lap, pulls your pants and your panties down, and god— you’re already soaking just from being around her. she makes you roll your hips down her strap, separating your pussy lips apart and rub yourself all over it, guiding your motions with her hands. she can barely keep quiet herself because the way you whimper so softly and slap a hand on your mouth makes her lose it. she knows you wont be able to keep quiet if she bounced you up and down.

“stop being so loud” your brother snickers, and he almost… almost turns his head to the side. if he looked— he’d see his little sister sitting right on his best friend’s lap. that same best friend who kicked you out, same best friend who teased and mocked— what if he sees?

“shh… shh— just sit on it” she whispers in your ear and you shiver. you obey, and move your hips up. its almost too big, you have to swallow a screech when it slides inside of your hole. you want to bounce on it so bad, but your brothers still fucking awake. she almost snickers at how easily it went up inside, your slick completely swallowing it whole, but she stops herself. her could wake up at any given moment.

“keep on sitting on it” she grabs your thighs and digs her nails into them. “don’t move” and whenever you do—, eagerly attempting to disobey her, she pulls you down and grinds you deep on it, making sure you're caged inside. when she hears the quiet shores of your older brother sound asleep in the background, she starts fucking it into you deep. she thrusts her hips forward, and you don’t even have to move a muscle, you really did earn it after all.

"such a good fucking girl— have to make it up to you"

♡ mean!bbf ellie who sneaks little spanks, and grabs your tits whenever no ones looking, creeping up on you from behind and smelling your neck— just like she did in her dream. she kisses and kisses and almost doesn’t care if she gets caught— she has only three days left.

will you go away with her, or are you going to have to wait till next year’s visit? <3

[starrluvs]

bihan with a super girly gf who has a decked out pink room covered inn stuffed ajimals and clothes

𝐁𝐈-𝐇𝐀𝐍 + 𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄! 𝐒/𝐎

cw: fem reader, hyper fem reader/girly girl reader, i hope bi han isnt too ooc, established relationship, loss of virginity, piv sex, corruption kink, oral (m and f receiving), praise kink, degradation kink, reader is a lil cock drunk, mdni pls :)

wc: i typed this up on tumblr and not docs so idkkk T^T

a/n: this is crazy because i had thoughts about this sort of trope with bi-han omg.... i've done this in a headcanon format with both sfw and nsfw, enjoy and ty nonnie! ALSO TYSM FOR 300 FOLLOWERS🫶🏾💗

SFW

grumpy anger issues bf x hyper girly-girl gf

everyone around the two of you questioned what brought you guys together

'opposites attract' is indeed true

when he first seen you, bi-han was taken back at how much you stood out

you were dressed head-to-toe in pink... it was somewhat strange to him, but with the way his eyes couldn't peel away from your figure, he knew was interested in you

once he starts to interact with you, he finds your personality oddly endearing

you were so passionate about whatever was on your mind and he was fond of that

watching and listening to the way you rambled on and on about how many squishmallow's you've collected and how much more you're missing was surprisingly intriguing

seeing the way your eyes lit up the more you talked about collecting these bizarre 'stuffed creatures', as he called it, threatened to melt his supposedly iced heart... just a little bit

when the two of you start dating, things get interesting

bi-han has been to your place quite a few times now, and the decor of your room makes him feel out of place every single time

seeing your room covered in pink with all your stuffed animals, pink frilly clothes and makeup...

it just matched you so perfectly, and he was the complete opposite...

he also has some nicknames for you that include: doll, love, flower, snowflake, and one that he uses due to your own request; princess

having to introduce you to the lin kuei was quite eventful

he was grateful to know you didn't get scared and run off once learning his profession, making him proud to have you by his side

once meeting you, bi-han started taking off more time from his duties, which only started to spread rumors of the grandmaster potentially dating somebody

if anyone dared to intrude his privacy and ask about why he's been so much more absent than usual, he'd snap and tell them it doesn't concern anybody except himself

so once the clan seen bi-han walking side-by-side with you, showing you around for the first time, everyone couldn't take their eyes away from you two

the way you were all dolled up in a pink frilly dress that matched your heels and thigh high socks while clinging to bi-han's arm so lovingly with a beaming smile was baffling to all the clan members, especially his brothers

(just imagine kuai liang playfully nudging tomas and telling him 'i told you, he was definitely seeing someone this whole time')

bi-han cared deeply for you and everyone was able to tell

everybody found out about the grandmaster commissioning a separate room for you to have customized however you'd like because you didn't enjoy how 'dark and sad' the blue and black tones of the lin kuei and bi-han's room were

he even went to the extent of getting custom made gowns and robes for you to wear around the lin kuei that were in whatever shades of pink you wanted

he loved the confidence you had and how much you didn't care about sticking out like a sore thumb

it's exactly what he needs in a partner by his side

overall, bi-han will always treat you like the princess you are <3

NSFW

bi-han was your first ever intimate partner, and him taking your virginity made you feel so much more connected to him than you already were

knowing this also swelled the love bi-han already had for you

it made him feel like you truly belonged to him. only him.

your body drove him wild, and your sounds felt like they casted a spell upon him

the first few times you two were intimate, he would attempt to be softer so that you could enjoy yourself

"bi-hannn, it f-feels so- haah, good..." your eyes were watery with tears and your glossy lips were left in an 'o' shape

he was above you, pinning your legs back and thrusting into you at a moderate pace

"you’re doing amazing, my little snowflake, making me so proud…" his praise made your heart flutter as he guided and helped you while taking in all of his length

his eyes were trailing back and forth between your erotic facial expressions and your beautiful breasts that rocked perfectly with each of his thrusts

your arms were stretched above as you grabbed onto one of your teddy bears behind you for support

the grip you had on the stuffed animal was harsh as you bit your lip, trying to quiet down in case one of your neighbors heard you..

every time he would take you like this at your place, you were always mindful of the neighbors, which he hated

but fortunately for him, once you moved in at the lin kuei, you were far more used to having sex with bi-han and he made sure you knew that you had full permission to be as loud as you wanted

living with the lin kuei meant that you were with almost with bi-han at all times, which severely benefited your sex life

gone were the days when you would be too shy to show your naked body to bi-han or even make noises

bi-han made sure to craft you into his perfect little fuckdoll

he trained you and your body so well, you knew how to properly obey and take him whenever he pleased

being able to fuck you at his usual rough pace was all that bi-han ever wanted, and you couldn’t get enough of it either

your baby-pink panties were pushed to the side as bi-han aggressively railed you from behind

"f-fuuuck! please don’t s-stop!" your voice was slurred and your mouth was hung open— unable to prevent your drool from soaking bi-han’s mattress

he loved when you got like this, so fucked out by him

just seeing the way you clearly had no coherent thoughts running through your mind— only the thought of his cock clouded your head

bi-han snickers, "who would’ve thought that my precious princess would turn out to be such a whore?"

on occasion he would still praise you like he used to

but he would often degrade you and talk with such vulgar language without you shying away anymore

introducing you to such an enjoyable sex life also involved you building up your own sex drive

after finishing daily duties, there have been times when bi-han has walked into his room and found you in the middle of his bed, grinding your aroused pussy on one of your stuffed animals

knowing that you had planned for him to see you made bi-han surge with excitement down under

despite all of that, bi-han can still praise you and treat you like the princess you are, similar to how he did when you were still inexperienced

if you tell him you’re in the mood to get down and dirty—gently, not rough— he would oblige

he would still call you his good girl while eating you out

you’d be leaned back on your pink sheets, basking in the warmth of your mattress but also the coldness of bi-han’s tongue assaulting your pussy

the same situation usually happens in reverse as well

if bi-han’s in the mood, you’d gladly let him fuck your face for his own pleasure

the obedience you had for him brought him so much pleasure

not to mention the influence he’s had on you—

his cute, innocent snowflake who could barely take in any of his cock without gagging and coughing, was now easily allowing her face to be fucked at whatever pace he desired

seeing your dolled up face get ruined turned him on even more

the way your tears were stained with black from your mascara and running down your cheeks, and how your sparkly pink lip gloss was smudged all over his cock and your face

even knowing how you would beg and drink up his cum made him feel so proud

he still couldn’t get over how well he trained you…

bi-han was also smart and knew how to keep a perfect balance of praise and degradation for you

he’d watch you from above as he stroked his hard cock in front of your face

your doe eyes looked up at him with your tongue sticking out, panting and whining, just begging for something to be in your mouth

bi-han would take his free hand and lightly tap your cheek before forcing his thumb into your mouth, which you gladly sucked on

"such a beautiful little slut, you know just how to please me, fuck.."

guys i think he might have a corruption kink idk tho >_< !!

[astroa3h]

where you'll meet your soulmate

I know this is fairly vague when it comes to astrology and how intricate of an art it can be, especially when it comes to the placement of Juno. But I find this to be pretty spot on when it comes to the dreamy meet cute you have with your destined one.

Juno in the 1st House: Picture this - you're shining bright, maybe you're on stage, or it's your birthday bash. There’s laughter, music, and bam! Your eyes lock with theirs across the room. It's electric, like a scene from a movie. Love at first sight? Heck yeah. This isn't a slow burn; it's fireworks from the get-go. Imagine meeting the one person who sees you, the real you, in a crowd of faces. That’s your moment.

Juno in the 2nd House: Imagine casually browsing through a bookstore or maybe hustling at a side gig, and there they are. Maybe they're helping you pick out the perfect gift, or you’re laughing over a bizarre find at a flea market. This connection is built on the simple things in life, like sharing a passion or working on something that matters to both of you. It’s the shared smiles and the teamwork that makes the dream work.

Juno in the 3rd House: Ever met someone and felt like you’ve known them forever? That’s Juno in the 3rd for you. It could be a friend of a friend, someone from the neighborhood, or that person you keep bumping into online because you laugh at the same memes. This could also be a childhood friend. It's the comfort of familiarity, the ease of a conversation that never ends. It’s like finding a missing piece you weren’t even aware you were looking for.

Juno in the 4th House: This is all about home, heart, and heritage. Imagine finding your soulmate at a family gathering or through a connection so deeply rooted in your past, it feels fated. It could be a cozy dinner, a traditional celebration, or through the meddling of your mom playing cupid. This soulmate brings a sense of belonging, a feeling of coming home, no matter where you are.

Juno in the 5th House: Think laughter, creativity, and a dash of spontaneity. Meeting your soulmate while you’re living your best life, maybe at a concert, an art exhibit, or while coaching little league. It’s those moments of pure joy and abandon, where you meet someone who makes your heart race faster than a rollercoaster ride. It’s about finding love in the midst of living passionately.

Juno in the 6th House: Here, love finds you in the midst of your daily grind. It could be that new colleague, someone you meet at a fitness class, or even a fellow volunteer. This is about finding someone who fits into your life like the perfect puzzle piece, making every day brighter and every routine special. It’s the beauty in the ordinary, the love that grows in shared routines and little acts of care.

Juno in the 7th House: Picture meeting your soulmate at a wedding, It's where you least expect it, in the midst of celebrating love, you find your own. It could be a plus-one that was meant to be your plus-one forever. This is about partnerships, the undeniable pull towards someone who complements you perfectly, in ways you hadn’t even dared to dream of. I sometimes find you may even find your soulmate through an ex partner with this placement.

Juno in the 8th House: This is deep, the kind of connection that happens in the quiet, unexpected moments. Maybe it’s someone you meet in a place where you both show your vulnerabilities, or perhaps during a time of transformation. You could be intoxicated or under the influence when you meet. It’s a soul-stirring, intense connection that feels predestined, a love that’s as profound as the ocean and just as mysterious.

Juno in the 9th House: Imagine crossing paths with your soulmate in a setting that screams adventure and growth. It could be a study abroad program, a spiritual journey, or just a random seminar that you both decided to attend on a whim. This is about finding someone who shares your thirst for knowledge, adventure, and the quest for meaning in life. It’s about expanding your horizons, together.

Juno in the 10th House: Here’s where your ambitions and your heart align. Meeting your soulmate in a context that’s all about achieving your life’s purpose, maybe at a conference, through a mentor, or while making your mark on the world. It’s about finding someone who not only shares your dreams but is ready to build an empire with you. This love story is about legacy, ambition, and a shared vision for the future.

Juno in the 11th House: This is the meet-cute you didn’t see coming. A friend’s party, a community event, or that random encounter at a party. It’s about connection, friendship, and shared ideals. Finding your soul mate here means finding someone who gets you on a level that's almost telepathic. It’s about shared laughs, mutual friends becoming mutual admirers, and feeling like you’ve found your tribe with this person by your side.

Juno in the 12th House: This is where souls connect on a celestial level. Imagine a tranquil setting, a spiritual retreat, or a place where you're seeking peace, and there they are. This connection is ethereal, almost like recognizing a soul from a past life. It’s a love that transcends time and space, wrapping you in a sense of calm and belonging that’s hard to put into words.

xox astro ash ✨ Get your own Juno Soulmate Reading @ astroash.net TikTok - astroa3h

[kquil]

REGULUS BLACK | HOLD HER! PART 0.5

SUM. : you have a bizarre encounter with regulus because james couldn’t help himself —but his heart was in the right place at least (a prequel to part 1)

TAGS. : fluff ; grumpy regulus ; sunshine reader ; grumpy x sunshine trope ; you don’t have to read the first part to read this ; James being a defensive, protective older brother type ; James doesn’t condone slander ; inspired by a scene in demon slayer ; we love James ; but he can be a little much sometimes… ; but he’s perfect~ ; my James simp is showing ; excuse me~

LENGTH : 0.7k

NOT PROOFREAD OR EDITED

PART 1

“Regulus!” You call, waving enthusiastically towards the aloof Slytherin. It was break time between morning and afternoon classes and most people were on their way to the dining hall for food, except Regulus and his few friends who were going the opposite direction.

Beside you, the marauders give you an incredulous look. They understood how bubbly and bright you were, able to befriend anyone you came across, however, when it came to Sirius’ younger brother, hardly anyone was a tough enough contender to break through Regulus Black’s stone walls.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…” the older Black brother utters in disbelief from beside you. His voice is a whisper and whether anyone heard him or not, they never showed it.

As expected, Regulus narrows his eyes at you and scowls deeply. He looks both offended and disgusted at your greeting towards him.

Sirius frowns deeply at his younger brother’s antisocial behaviour while Remus tries to keep a neutral face despite his instincts wanting to kick in and protect you. The lycanthrope has grown a sisterly fondness for you, all of the marauders have, but him especially seeing as you were the very few people who could actually cheer him up before and after a full moon. Naturally, Peter cowers slightly at the confrontation but tries to mask his fear — although unsuccessful from the intensified glare directed his way and the satisfied smirk that followed on the small circle of friends around Regulus. James doesn’t seem to mind the interaction at all, smiling harmlessly throughout the interaction. Look at you making friends! He’s so proud!

“Aren’t you going to eat lunch?” You ask with an adorable tilt of your head as Regulus feels his eye twitch. This has to be a sham…nobody really acts like this.

“That’s none of your business,” Regulus is loyal to his principle of keeping all interactions brief; his response epigrammatic. However, it’s forced through clenched teeth, his tone biting and a direct opposition to the calm demeanour he famously displays.

“But what if you get hungry later on? Won’t you get stomach pains?”

“Again,” the younger Black brother emphasises his irritation with the narrowing of his eyes, “that’s none of your concern,” you want to continue arguing, saddened by his resistance; nobody should feel hungry during classes, it makes the hours drag on far longer than necessary, “now move out of my way, this whole act of yours isn’t cute —you’re not cute,”

Sirius scoffs and begins to pull you into his side as Remus steps away with Peter to make way, both frowning deeply at the way the Slytherin spoke to you. James, however, was stock still, the world suddenly moving at a snails pace around him.

‘Not cute?’ James looks at you, his earlier smile slowly slipping away as he blinks his face between you and Regulus, ‘Not cute…NOT CUTE?!’

“WhaT dID YoU SAy?!!” James screeched loud enough to draw the entire hall of students’ attention, “LIES!” He continues to defend as everyone looks at him as if he’s lost his mind, even Regulus who was an expert at keeping his expression some cold.

“Jame—“ You’re cut off when James reaches over and holds your face with one hand, cupping his palm under your chin as his fingers and thumb press into your cheeks and turn your lips outwards, rendering you unable to speak.

“ShE’S thE CUTEst! JUST lOok at HER! Her BEAutY is LiKe NO OthEr! Do YOu KNow hOW MaNy PeOPLe I’ve HAd to SCarE AwaY from APPrOchInG Her wITh bAD InTenTIONS?!” James emphasises by pulling you close to his side with his other arm and stepping the two of you closer to Regulus who steps back. He doesn’t know how to describe it but Regulus felt threatened by the fire fiercely blazing in James’ eyes, “YoU JUsT nEEd to See heR in BeTTEr LiGHTinG! THATS ALL! ThESE STupiD HaLLWay CanDLes ARen’t ENOUGH!” James reaches for the younger Slytherin, a game plan already forming in his head, “CoME wITh ME!”

“Get away from me, Potter!” Regulus hurriedly steps away from the older Gryffindor’s grip, flustered and avoiding your adorably squished face. Paired with your large, round eyes, puffed out, pouty lips and dinky nose… your winsome features are nowhere near cute!

Regulus makes his escape by forcing his way past, his heart racing from the adrenaline of the bizarre encounter just adrenaline.

You’re not cute. You’re not cute. You’re not cute. YOU’RE NOT…cute…

A/N : i wrote this incredibly sleep deprived but inspired. i hope you enjoyed <3

NAVI.

TAGLIST : @melinajenkins @aastonishment @until-i-found-you @corp0real @celestcies @lovelydoveval @inlovewithremusjohnlupin @calums-betch @futurecorps3 @hihihi1112 @simpingforthe80s @yrluvjane @chaosofmanyfandoms @storyofaromance @loving-and-dreaming @somewereinthegalaxi @ashreblogsficshere @cassandra-nerezza-black @stray-bi-kids @ttkttt @notasadgirlipromise @desikudisworld @volturissideslut @arilxup88 @fallencrescentmoon @topaz125 @xxrougefangxx @starchaser-lily @probablypossesedbysatan @agent-tempest @veryberryjelly @th3-st4r-gur1 @sousydive @delusional-4-fake-people @linaax @girl-detective16 @riaa-moony @ericityyy

[aphroditelovesu]

Hi! I don't know if you are taking any requests, if you don't, just ignore this

Can you do headcanons of platonic yandere hannibal (2013 TV show) with a darling that looks like abigail hobbs? Can you add will Graham as well? Thank you!

<33

❝ 🍽 — lady l: I should have posted this yesterday but it ended up not being possible as a practical class in the laboratory, but here it is! I hope you like it, anon. Forgive me for any mistakes and good reading!! ❤️🥰

❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, manipulation, kidnapping, forced cannibalism and mention of death.

❝🔎pairing: platonic yandere!hannigram x gender neutral!reader.

After everything that had happened between them and Abigail, Hannibal and Will had no plans on trying to care for someone else anytime soon, if ever. They were starting their life together after Red Dragon and in a calm place where there was no danger of being found by the FBI when they met you.

When Hannibal and Will first met you, they initially kept a cautious distance. Still reeling from the events with Abigail, they were reluctant to make room for someone else in their lives. However, over time, you proved to be a comforting and intriguing presence. It didn't help that you remembered her in some ways. Maybe it was your looks or your personality, but they couldn't help but find it refreshing and bizarre at the same time how much you reminded them of her.

As the days passed, you showed a unique understanding of the complexities of the human mind, something that fascinated them deeply. Your calm presence and ability to adapt to your surroundings intrigued them. Will felt comfortable around you, something few people had the ability to do and Hannibal found himself drawn to the way you thought more and more.

Your presence brought a sense of normalcy to them, something they had long lost. You brought a good feeling to them, something they had lost along the way. It was Hannibal who convinced Will to "adopt", to bring you to live with them. Will, although a little reluctant to take you away from your family, eventually accepted. That was how you became part of their family and they had no intention of letting you go.

Hannibal was the one who brought you in and Will covered for him. Although they wanted to make you part of their twisted family in a "normal" way, plans quickly changed. The initial plans were to get close to you and manipulate you, make you hate your family so that you would realize that they were the only ones who could truly care for you.

But when it became clear that you didn't seem to respond to the manipulations, they decided to take another course of action. During one night when you were walking alone, much to their disapproval, Hannibal quickly knocked you out and brought you with him. You would finally be safe with them. Will placed you on the bed prepared for you, covering you as he tended to your sleep.

You would have to accept your place quickly or there will be consequences. Hannibal is a psychiatrist, he knows that what they did can inflict trauma on you and he will be patient with you for as long as you need, but if you are too stubborn or don't respond to the mandatory therapy he will give you, he is not against using other means to make you accept your place.

Hannibal will try to be patient with you and he will, will tolerate stubbornness to a certain extent, as he understands that it may be due to the stress of being taken away from your old life, but if you are too stubborn and even rude, he will have to teach you good manners. Hannibal does not tolerate rude people at all.

Will is more compassionate towards you, he knows and understands that it may be difficult for you to accept this new reality, so he will try to be understanding with you and he is. Will will always be by your side and although it seems like a kind action to him, in reality it becomes overwhelming. There will be no privacy, because he wants to be close to you and he believes he is helping you by not letting go of you.

He will try to cheer you up, spoiling you and even making you escape punishments that Hannibal might try to apply to you. Will is no saint, but he cares about you, a lot, and he doesn't want to see you hurt, whether physically or emotionally, so he will try to help you as much as he can. But he has his limits and if you don't cooperate, Will won't interfere with Hannibal's punishments.

As the days passed, you found yourself trapped in this new reality, surrounded by Hannibal and Will, each with their own motivations and methods. Hannibal, with his sharp and manipulative mind, tried to shape your perception of the world and your own identity, while Will, with his peculiar empathy, sought to comfort you amid the chaos that had become your life. It wouldn't be long before you gave in to Hannibal's manipulations, he'll be sure of that.

They like to think that they are great parents to you, better than your family ever was. Hannibal and Will love to spoil you and take care of you, the former being the one who buys you the most material things and the latter being quite clingy. Do you want something absurdly expensive and ridiculous? You got it, but only if you are a good child to them.

You will follow the Hannibal diet and there are no arguments about it. If you are vegetarian or vegan, however, he will not force you to eat meat but he will try to induce you to do so. He might cook separate portions for you, but there's disappointment evident on his face. But if you eat meat, you will try his favorite delicacy, lamb. Will isn't exactly the biggest fan of Hannibal's eating habits, but he has no problem eating and is pleased to see you eat. It makes you more close to them when you eat human flesh, you know?

They are extremely overprotective and possessive of you and will not tolerate potential love interests. Hannibal doesn't believe there is anyone good enough for you and Will hates the idea of ​​you being taken from them. Friends they can tolerate, but only if they are thoroughly analyzed by them and if they are a good influence on you.

Any injury that would be inflicted on you by someone, even if it is a chipped nail, will not be treated lightly. Hannibal will make sure whoever dared to hurt you is dealt with slowly and painfully and perhaps served to you later and Will will stay by your side, comforting you. No one can hurt you, no one other than them.

Once you became their child, someone they truly cared about, you would be doomed. They may care for you and even love you in their twisted way, but in the end, you will truly find yourself trapped. Hannibal and Will believe that the best way to take care of you is to keep you trapped, safe with them. And you can't run away because they will catch you and if that happens, you will never see the light of day again.

It's in your best interest to get used to them, to your new family. Hannibal has no problem breaking you down for this and Will will be there to pick up the pieces. After all, family always takes care of each other, right?

[togglesbloggle]

In Defense of Bad Things

'Bad' here meaning mostly 'amateur'; stuff made enthusiastically by people at an unprofessional level. Art with visible gaps between what the artist imagined and what they achieved, products of flawed craftsmanship. I suppose everybody can appreciate them to some extent, it's a rare parent that doesn't put up their kid's drawings on the fridge in one way or another. But it turns out to be a fully general skill you can cultivate, and the more I do, the more I'm glad I did.

Partly, it's the teacher thing; finding delight in amateur work is one of the ways to find delight in the process of learning. Cultivating a love of striving-qua-striving can help make you a force for good in the world, as people start to feel safe trying to do things when you're around, even when their efforts are wobbly. You get to participate a little more in the process of atoms spinning themselves into ideas, even when there aren't any illusions about whether you're helping cultivate some revolutionary genius in the field.

And partly it's a fabulous way to build community. By necessity, our professional-level skills tend to be at the service of other people, performed for economic benefit; that's kind of how you get professionally good at something in the first place. When we're acting for our own sake, and among friends, most of what we do with one another is amateurish. I only cook middling-okay, I can't hold a tune that well, I'll never be a speed runner for anything. If you can only enjoy singing from the hundred best singers in the whole world, manufactured and polished by major studios, then you and your friends will sit shoulder-to-shoulder and passively listen to music. But it's so much richer an experience to sit face-to-face, actually singing together, even badly; you expose yourself to so many new ways to appreciate and respect one another, building relationships on what you've accomplished and not just by witty criticism or liking the same things.

And partly it's because some of the most powerful and innovative artistic experiences are in high-churn environments with low expectations and low barriers to entry, if only because those catch the passionate and driven young people that have been otherwise overlooked by our systems. The golden age of webcomics meant that a ton of the actual art involved was pretty lousy, but it also produced work that people still talk about today. D&D began as a profoundly unpolished collection of handmade rulebooks sold at cons in a plastic baggie. By the time these products of enthusiastic amateurs filter themselves through various levels of popularity and absorb mainstream cash influx, they're often risk-averse and missing a lot of the bold spark that inspired their fans in the first place; others will simply never drift towards the mainstream at all. I'm not saying you should be the person who goes out to dig through the slush piles of the internet looking for overlooked art, unless you want to be-- but sometimes a work of actual staggering genius also happens to be a Supernatural fanfic by a first-time author who's a little hazy on commas, and if that's a dealbreaker, you're going to miss out on some profoundly valuable experiences.

And hiding behind all of these things is, like...

Our appreciation of beauty has an odd structure, right? When things are done very skillfully, by brilliant artists with years of training, we can usually appreciate those accomplishments. And when we're looking at nature without human influence, and especially when we think very deeply about natural processes and understand them in context, we often rediscover that sense of beauty. There's just this bizarre hole in the middle where we declare things 'ugly'; as if a little skill is worse than none at all.

I really don't trust that gap. It feels like a trick my brain is playing on me, you know? It has me suspicious that a lot of what I consider 'ugly' or 'bad' is not a very direct experience of the world at all, or an informed judgment. That it is, rather, a declaration of (self-, social-) identity; a desire to be seen as a person of good taste, or as somebody who does things well, or just more primitively as one of the monkeys who is in the good-stuff-tribe and not one of the monkeys who is in the bad-stuff-tribe.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - People of Earth we have VERSE rep in 2 Thai BLs! Amazeballs!

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

March 2024 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 2 of 8 (10?) - Everyone seems to be a bit of a player and I’m not mad about it. It’s nice to see high-grade flirting, and I really love how very gay the leads feel. Not BL gay. Actual gay. We shall see how it goes, I suspect we are in "messy gay" territory in which case, I predict utter carnage and that this show will drop ranks precipitously for me. But right now? Of all the Thai BLs airing, I'm enjoying this the most. How bizarre. 

I like the side couple (thrupple?) too, despite the prat fall kiss and possible cheating. They very pretty:

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) ep 4 of 8 - oh dear NO honeychild, face masks are gross tasting!

Rule no 966 of the BL world. He’s never asleep. 

Argh Achi wants Ji so bad. Nice mutual kiss tho, despite Ji's baggage. I guess Ji knew what would happen if Achi stayed? But why is he so scared? Just deeply closeted? The backstory is very high school achy and I feel like it explained Achi but not Ji. And the crying in the movie was lovely, so we totally understand Achi's but Ji is just messed up and confused? I admit to being a bit confused too. Why is Ji the one so angry?

On a totally different aside, I really like how the set dressing is done in Ji’s apartment. It looks lived in and not staged. Super rare in Thai BL. I'm reminded of Ai & Pond's dorm room in Love By Chance, which actually looked like a real college dorm.

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 7 of 12 - Why is it always the pulps that actually trot out the best communication, conversation, consent, and healthy relationships? Yes I'm still wincing over the truly bad acting but I’m enjoying their good relationship. The sex scene was sweet and tender, although the likelihood of rose petals getting stuck places wigs me out. (Flower petals + lube = terrible combination. Just FYI.)

ALL PRAISE VERSE REP! And a bottom who owns it! Yay! 

1000 Years Old ep 5 of 12 - How ridiculously colorful and flirty they all are. There is nothing at all vampire about this show. I’m a bit bored by the restaurant plot but I'm tuning in for the bonkers approach to goth. How dare they be so cheerful with my precious emo youth, but also, how very Thai pulp of them.  

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube) ep 4 of 11 - oh it’s SO GOOD. Reading the yaoi and crying. COME ON TAIWAN HAVE MERCY. The red wrapping of the hands (red thread, yes yes we get it). The boy who doesn’t want to box for so many reasons. Not the least of which is how unpleasant it is to spar with a lover. 

This is easily the best BL currently airing and it is going to hurt us. But I don't care. I love it.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) eps 8 of 10 - This show is dangerously cute and I’m scared for everyone involved, including me.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Gaga) ep 2 of 6 - Poor baby thrown in all willynilly amongst a pack of queeny bitchy gay intellectuals. I'd be lost too. It's the worse kind of fight, one you have to philosophize your way out of.

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 10fin - They are extremely adorable and it was a very good ending - mature, adult, and bittersweet. I liked it a lot. But I didn’t love it the way I wanted to.

The promise of this show, younger cook courts older divorced office worker, should have been my catnip. I mean if someone pitched this to me in an elevator I would have downloaded it by the second storey. Unfortunately, it did not exactly fulfill that promise, not in the way I'd hoped. Did I still enjoy the ride, yes, but I feel just a little let down. 8/10 

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) eps 5 of 8 - Honestly now I’m just shipping the two girls getting together. Frankly, I really don't like this show, and normally I'd DNF but there's only a few eps left and nothing else is airing rn.

It's done, ready to binge, maybe I'll finally get to it this weekend

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

The Servant and the Young Master (Vietnam YouTube)

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - A Burmese BL? @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will watch eventually.

It's airing but...

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - it's finished now, I dropped it at ep 4. Should I bother?

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Thai ViuTV grey) 10 eps - I'm exhausted by this franchise and the variety pack style of BL. If there is a particularly good couple (or installment) I might watch it, but I'm letting others decide for me.

A Secretly Love (Thai WeTV grey) 10 eps - I watched the first ep but grey is too much work for this inferior of a show. I may pick up and binge if it gets distribution but for now, it gets a DNF from me. KimCop might have held this crap together but Kim without Cop? No thank you.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school, not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing for some reason.

Gossip

The choreo controversy - Deep Night vs OnlyOneOf. Look, like a musical rift, or a styling photoshoot, there are no new ideas in choreo, I feel like Madonna did this pose too, a long time ago. Certainly someone in the 80s. Or whatever. Anygay, it's an ironic thing to see a Thai BL being called out by a gay-branded Kpop group when both are exploiting eroticized homosexuality for commercial profit... just saying. (HOW DID WE GET HERE?) Not to mention that BOTH are ALSO exploiting the kink community. We live in interesting times, BLabies. In the end, it's a good publicity stunt all round. And I think Nine knows exactly what he's doing (and why he is doing it). Finally: Drama drama drama around coreo? That is V gay boys. Fun fun fun, carry on everyone.

Strike a pose.

You're being recorded for posterity.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting

3/21 Two Worlds (Thai IQIYI) 10 eps - One of those "he's dead Jim so time travel" thingames staring MaxNat. I'm over this concept but Asia flipping loves it and I do enjoy MaxNat. Phupha (Gun) and Khram (Nat) love each other but Phupha is murdered. Then Khram is pulled to a parallel world where, 12 years ago, Khram and Tai (Max) were in love. However, Khram was killed by Tai’s dad. Now Tai finds alter-Khram apparently alive. But then there is ALSO an alter-Phupha to deal with. (Phupha is played by Gun Thanawat who was Khom, the repressed butler bodyguard from Unforgotten Night. We like this, we scared of the love triangle aspect.)

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Forgive me a moment of industry noodling?

Have ya noticed that it's slender pickings right now but it shouldn't be? This is not the mid summer slump nor end of year lull. We should be getting some heavy hitters on first quarter release. (Side eyes GMMTV. Perhaps those painful Japanese acquisitions were a bigger issue than any of us realized?)

Anygay, IMHO, Thailand's BL bubble has popped and sponsor money is drying up. This is my shocked face:

Look, the 2021-2023 level of release and growth (exponential) was never gonna be sustainable, so I'm not surprised. I suspect that in 2024 Thailand will actually produce fewer BLs than 2023 (73, 64 in 2022, and 40 in 2021).

I know I'm sticking my neck out predicting any film industry but... I have seen this kinda thing before and it just *feels* like shrinkage. Thai BL's load has been shot, my peeps. (Not to be crass or anything.)

Oh, don't worry you pretty head about it, it's not going away, just getting less prolific.

Don't we all in our old age?

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

My favorite trope, sniff him!

Queen. (both Deep Night)

King. (City of Stars)

Verse rep verse rep verse rep!!! Can you see me doing a little dance this side of the screen?

(Last weeks summation)

Streaming services are listed by how I'm (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[stories-and-chaos]

Shrike: The House Always…Loses? Pt 1

[Hazbin Hotel reader insert as Alastor’s “darling life and death partner” Ace x ace relationship, both parties are moderately sex favorable. This was supposed to be a one shot about how Husk sold his soul, but I couldn’t help myself.]

[Part 1/2 Word count 3142 CW: alcohol consumption, gambling, mentions of sex.]

——————

The house always…loses?!

The 1970’s. You could tell there was some crazy shit going on in the world of the living. Mostly because the new arrivals in Hell had some particularly messed up forms. Tom Trench, 666 News’ anchor, had ended every broadcast for the past three years in an orgy after reporting on the war on Earth as well as the local conflicts.

“Complete lack of class,” Alastor shook his head as the two of you passed a large television screen in one of Pentagram City’s plazas. It was tuned to Tom’s nightly sign off; the camera off kilter and focused on the desk at a bizarre angle. Evidently the camera operator was part of the group on top of the desk. You could hear Tom saying, “oh fuck yeah I’m gonna invade all your landmasses baby,” followed by “here comes the firebombiiiiiiiiingggguh.”

“Zut alors, he’s turned into such a disgrace.” You scowled. “He might as well just work for that uncouth moth bastard at this point.” As you described Valentino, your voice gained a rough edge and wind started to swirl around you.

Your husband gave your hand a soothing squeeze. “Now now dear, you’ll muss your hair before I even get you on the dance floor if you keep it up. Besides cher, we’ll likely encounter him and the fad chaser at this party. If we all give into our emotions we’re likely to level the whole place.”

You breathed deeply. “And I’d hate to demolish a new establishment before even giving it a chance. Zestial requested a few songs as well, I can’t ruin my voice before granting him that.”

The two of you were attending a gala of Overlords and favored subordinates. One of the newest Overlords was providing the venue at his casino. These sort of get togethers were uncommon as more than one of the Pride Ring’s leaders in the same place often resulted in considerable property damage. So this newcomer was either extremely confident or foolhardy. Typical of a gambler.

At the entrance, you and your husband gave each other a final check; you straightened his bowtie, he smoothed back an errant lock of hair for you. Inside the casino was bustling with activity. It was set up into quadrants, each designated by a card suit. One section had slot machines designed to drain money from the poor saps who fell prey to their lights and false hopes. Deeper in were tables for more sophisticated ways to lose money. An elegant bar and well stocked buffet with dining tables nearby took up another section. The last quadrant had a stage for performers, lounge chairs for audience members and a dance floor. There was currently a band playing something forgettable on stage.

There was activity mostly at the gaming tables and bar. Not many Overlords were interested in the machines, the stakes weren’t high enough to care. And while the band was good, there wasn’t a headliner on stage at the moment. Food, alcohol, and barbed conversation was a bigger draw.

“Alastor, Y/N. Good to see you both.” The voice was sultry and professional all around once. “Ah, Carmilla, always a pleasure seeing you dear. You and your daughters,” you husband replied to the graceful Overlord.

“It’s been too long, Carmilla. Odette, Clara, you both look lovely cheres.” You glanced around the opulent venue. “So was this little fais do do your idea Carmilla?”

The tall woman shrugged elegantly. “In part. The owner of this establishment wanted to garner some attention and I owed him a small favor. I merely arranged the guest list. He took care of the rest.” She gestured to one of the card tables. “He’s entertaining guests with games of chance if you’d like to meet him.”

Alastor looked to you, “Well my dear, shall we meet our newest contemporary or mingle first?”

You spotted a tall figure draped in tacky fuschia leering in your direction from the bar, along with a shorter boxy headed demon boring holes into Alastor’s back. “Looks as if there are some unsavories around the liquor. I’m always interested in making new acquaintances.”

Arm in arm, you and your husband headed to the tables, Carmilla and her girls with you. You looked at them questioningly. “Ostensibly, as the hostess, I should introduce guests to each other.”

A demon about your height was dominating at the blackjack table. He had feline features in addition to a set of wings. Whereas your wings mimicked a natural bird’s coloration, his were more fantastical, vibrantly red and black with bars and dots all over. His hair was elegantly slicked back and his crisp tuxedo completed the air of a high roller.

He spotted Carmilla and after he won the current hand excused himself from the table, saying “duty calls friends.” He tucked his cane under his arm; the body was gold and topped with a sphere containing suit symbols, dice, and chips rotating like an orrery within.

“Husk, I’d like you to meet some of our colleagues.” Carmilla began as he approached. “This is Alastor, the Radio Demon, and his wife Y/N, the Singing Shrike. Alastor, Y/N, this is Husk, proprietor of this establishment and our newest sovereign Overlord.”

Alastor released your hand to shake Husk’s. “A pleasure to meet you my good man, truly a pleasure.” You followed up with your own pleasantries adding, “A lovely venue you have here. If the food and drink are up to the decor we may need to come around again, cher.”

“Pleased to meet you both,” his voice was rough but not unwelcoming. More like someone who had smoked excessively for years. “I don’t do things by halves, so I’m sure the refreshments are up to snuff. You’re both welcome to try the tables as well, if you can buy into the pot.” He stated a number that was high, but not exclusionary. No doubt he wanted to hook his patrons to get more value later. “We’re not betting souls tonight, that’s business and tonight’s for pleasure.” He gave you both a toothy smile before heading back to the cards.

You mingled both with Alastor and on your own. Waiters weaved through pockets of activity, serving drinks and hors d'oeuvres. There wasn’t really a crowd, which was smart considering how many Overlords could barely stand to be under the same roof, much less rubbing elbows.

It was somewhat inevitable though. A couple of hotheads, one you recognized and one you didn’t, started bickering, then yelling, then throwing punches. Any longer and they might have started bringing out some powers. Except they were stopped by a barrage of black playing cards. Off balance, they were crashed to the ground when a pair of giant dice rolled snake eyes onto them. Pinned, the two could only wait as Husk stalked over, the top of his cane glowing red.

“Didn’t your mamas ever teach you dumbasses any manners?” He slammed the butt of his cane down between their heads, sending a ripple of power out. “This is my house, my rules, so I’m going to teach you instead.” His gold pupils shined as he grinned down at them. “You wanna fight? You take it outside or I make you. You wanna settle things in here? We got plenty of ways to settle matters at the tables. Now what’s it gonna be bitches?” The two remained silent and continued to glare at each other. “Outside it is.”

The dice vanished but before the hapless combatants could do more than gasp a wave of poker chips carried them out the door with bone breaking force. Husk followed the wave calmly. From the other side, you could hear thuds, explosions, and screams. It only lasted a moment. Husk returned alone. One of the casino employees brought a new tuxedo jacket; there was dust and a bit of blood on the one he was wearing. He combed his hair back and returned to the game he’d been playing.

You sipped your whiskey, amused. Confidence it was then. “It seems our new friend can hold his own,” Alastor mused as he smoothly came up beside you. He held out a morsel of food for you, speared on a tiny skewer. “These are delightful, cher.” You pulled it off with your teeth. Shrimp in a spiced breading. “Mmm, that is lovely darling, thank you. And yes, he seems quite capable…for now.”

Anything else you would have said was derailed by a tall dark form appearing next to you and your husband. “If the two of thee have formed such an opinion of yon grimalkin, his potential is indeed of note.”

“My lord Zestial!” A light shiver sent your feathers rustling but that was expected around a demon as old and powerful as Zestial. Even Alastor tensed, a bit of strain around his lips and eyes. You curtsied as Alastor gave a slight bow. “You are as perceptive as ever. He has a great deal of power and potential. If his luck continues…”

Zestial chuckled. “Thou speaketh truth Shrike. One must make thine own luck. But ‘tis far too pleasant an occasion for such musings. Will thou grace the assemblage with thy voice tonight Shrike?”

“Of course cher!” As if you’d say no. Not to such a simple request from someone like Zestial. “I don’t suppose you have any requests? Or if there’s anything you’d like to hear darling?” you asked your husband.

Zestial shook his head. “Thy voice is a gift alone, I shall not presume to dictate its flow.”

“Hmm, I’m afraid I can’t help but dictate a little ma cher. Rosie requested a dance, so something she would enjoy?”

“I’d be glad to.” Alastor kissed your hand before seeing you off. You let Carmilla and Husk both know that you were ready to take the stage; you’d arranged everything ahead of time so the band was ready for you. Spotlights highlighted your mark as the lights dimmed slightly in the rest of the casino.

There was still a tremor of nervousness in your core as you took the stage. You were glad of it; if you didn’t feel nervous, you didn’t care about the performance or the audience. So you let it fuel the passion in your voice. You started with something that would grab attention, tap some toes. The big numbers would come later. For now you wanted them to listen to you more than the alcohol roaring in their skulls.

Once you had a gathering and you could feel the upbeat vibe in the room, you went into some dance numbers. The first one was for Alastor and Rosie. Seeing those two dancing together made your heart soar. Some might have expected you to be jealous, another woman dancing with your husband right in front of you. But how could you be jealous of your partner and your friend being so joyful together?

Not to mention that after your deaths, Alastor had gotten taller while you…embarrassingly you were the same height. He could still escort you comfortably but there were some dance moves that you couldn’t do together. Rosie was the perfect height, light on her feet, and a delight to watch in her own right. Why deny her and Alastor the pleasure? Or yourself the pleasure of watching.

You sang a mix of eras, which kept the band on their toes. But you loved music from different times and hearing what you could do with various songs. Alastor and Rosie danced for most of the songs, you could see Carmilla’s daughters find partners, and Zestial with his eyes closed, head bobbing to the music. Not even glimpses of Valentino and Vox could spoil the mood.

As people got tired, you slowed things down. There was more swaying on the dance floor now; there weren’t a lot of overt couples among Overlords (at least not established permanent ones) but there were many that shared intimacy for a time. Some had followers they were particularly close to and the rest of their followers often had a special someone. So there were plenty of pairs swaying to your voice.

Your last song of the night was Alastor’s song. It was your routine to finish with that one; carried over from when you were alive. Any demons that had seen you perform before knew it was your finale and worth paying attention to. The applause after the last note felt like champagne bubbling in your glass: delightful. You had a policy of not taking encores or requests after Alastor’s song, no matter how much anyone offered.

Alastor was there as you descended, hand ready for you. “As ever, you make me glad you married me, cher. Shall we get something to eat, I’m starved.” He knew you were likely to be as well, you tended to be ravenous after a performance.

To your surprise, there was clapping still near you; Husk, pulled away from the gaming tables. “I haven’t heard a performance like that in years. I’ve got a proposition for you, Y/N. Can I have some of your time after your meal?”

You and Alastor exchanged a glance. “Why not join us? As you said, it’s a night for pleasure, so presumably it’s not too serious,” you said as Alastor nestled your hand in his arm.

“If you’re both alright with that, don’t mind if I do.” You took a seat at an empty table while Alastor prepared a plate for you. You didn’t always let him, but you had put a lot into that performance, with so many people to impress. Fortunately, neither he nor Husk took long. Vox was starting to eye you from across the room. You would have hated to get wires and grease all over Husk’s new floor.

Alastor presented your plate as smoothly as any waiter, earning a throaty chuckle from you. There were more of those lovely shrimp, prime rib, salad, a baked potato and a slice of peach pie. You ate like a bird, which meant voraciously. You had to eat close to half your body weight in a day, much like the little bird you resembled. Fortunately you weren’t a pure carnivore and the peach pie was wonderfully nostalgic.

“Well, cher,” you said while stabbing a forkful of greens, “what’s this proposition?”

Husk swallowed, wiped his lips, and leveled a golden stare at you and Alastor. “I’d like to hire you of course,” he replied, expectedly. “I don’t have a headliner here yet and watching you made me realize how much this place needs one.” He sipped his wine. “So what do you say to a couple shows a week? I’ll give top billing to an Overlord, especially with pipes like yours.”

You smirked and raised your glass in admiration. Most assumed that Alastor was the only one with power in your relationship. Despite there being multiple female Overlords, once they found out you were married they acted as if you were little more than your husband’s hanger-on. While that granted you a number of opportunities (and demons chained to you with deals) you appreciated any that had a better grasp on your marital dynamic.

“What kind of compensation are we looking at? I don’t sing for free, cher.” Not even tonight had been free; Carmilla had paid your rate. There was one being in all existence that got to hear you for free.

Husk immediately named a figure. A gambler he might be, but he was a businessman too. He gave a number higher than your usual fee. Not high enough to make him seem desperate, but enough that he respected your talent and to entice from other engagements. “Obviously any tips are yours and you both will get perks of casino employees.” Evidently he noticed your shared enjoyment of the food and drink and wanted to sweeten the deal by including Alastor.

You pretended to mull it over while chewing your prime rib. “Quite the generous offer, ma petite chat. Why not, say three nights a week?” Husk readily agreed verbally. Neither of you moved to shake hands or sign papers; you could never be too careful with Overlords, especially when you were one.

The three of you chatted lightly as you ate. Alastor and you had experience with the old guard while Husk knew a lot of the young bucks. Neither side was about to give away more than the minimum information, but you got the impression he could be a decent ally.

Or pawn.

After the meal Husk asked you for a dance. You readily agreed, looking forward to seeing how he was on his feet. Not to mention a dance partner your size would be a nice change. He wasn’t as good as Alastor (who was?) but he was quite good. He seemed surprised by a couple maneuvers that incorporated your wings, evidently he hadn’t experimented much with his.

He actually got three songs with you before thanking you and heading back to the card tables. You were just feeling warmed up and went to retrieve your husband. Only to be intercepted by none other than Vox.

“Hey there sweetheart. How about you let me show you moves?” He gave you a grin and moved to take your hand in his.

You raked him up and down with your eyes. “Oh Vox, I’ve seen all your moves. They’re not impressive.” You pinched his wandering hand between two of your talons, making sure to draw pinpricks of blood before releasing him. “Allons’y cher, best you find a partner who can slow down for you.” Alastor had arrived at your side and added, “My darling wife makes an excellent point, although I’m not sure there’s anyone who can. Better luck next time ol’ pal!”

Without further ado he swept you onto the dance floor. He gleefully kept you dancing the majority of the night. You changed up partners a couple times, him with Rosie and you with Husk. At the end of the last song of the night, a slow dance, he lifted you into a bridal carry. Your wings cupped around his shoulders as he swayed with you.

Back at home, he and you exchanged notes on the evening while going through your nightly routines. “Cher, are you certain you don’t want me to deal with Vox?” he offered yet again.

“I can handle him darling. It seems I’ll need to be more direct however. More importantly, what do you think of my new employer?”

“Hmm.” His staticky hum filled the room as he climbed under the bedcovers. “An interesting fellow, we’ll need to see how he does. And you being there so often will give us plenty of opportunities,” he chuckled darkly.

You matched his laugh. As you settled next to his lean form you replied, “Agreed. This should be entertaining.”

A/N: part two may take a couple days, I’m finding pre-deal Husk’s voice hard to pin down. I hope you all like my head canon for his stronger abilities. Also, let me know if you’d like to be tagged for future Shrike snippets, she’s just fun to write. 💜🤍🩶🖤

@edgyboi10000 @clearly-awkward @badatpunz @deafsignifcantother @whitewolfsoldat @ch3sire-blu3 @bengewatch

[dystopicjumpsuit]

The Plant Prowler of Pabu

A/N: I’m scared that Pabu is going to be toast after this week, so I wrote a little fluff to make myself feel better. Also, this is the first time I’ve been able to finish a fic in six weeks, so… yay me!

Pairing: Crosshair x Reader (GN)

Rating: T (but MDNI as always)

Wordcount: 2.1K

Warnings and tags: mild language; fluff; a kiss; spoilers for The Bad Batch season 3

Summary: Exploring the island during his first morning on Pabu, Crosshair encounters a mastermind of botanical crime: you.

Suggested Listening: 

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Whoever said, “It’s darkest just before dawn” had clearly never woken up to go for a walk before sunrise. Even if Crosshair hadn’t had enhanced vision, it would have been easy for him to navigate his way down to the beach of Pabu in the dim half-light. Hunter had wordlessly watched him exit the Marauder, pretending to still be asleep, but Crosshair knew that his brother would have drawn his vibroblade in a flash if he’d even glanced sideways at Omega.

Crosshair didn’t exactly blame Hunter for his caution, but it didn’t make it any easier to swallow. The squad had arrived on the idyllic island the previous day, and Crosshair was immediately swarmed by a horde of curious locals. With Hunter determined to keep Crosshair in sight at all times, there had been no escape from their onslaught of hospitality, and by the time the celebrations had died down, Crosshair had been clinging to the tattered threads of his patience and sanity.

It was a hell of a thing to go from barely speaking to anyone for months on end to suddenly being plunged into the midst of a vibrant and chaotic crowd of nosy spectators. He’d escaped to the Marauder at last and pretended to sleep, keenly aware of Hunter’s eyes on him. He’d spent enough time under the microscope in the past several months, though, and he was ready for some privacy.

And so it was that he found himself wandering down the empty terraced walkways of Pabu, making his way to the shoreline in the pale gloaming. He didn’t encounter a single soul as he walked—barring the ubiquitous moonyos that seemed to frolic across the island at all hours. Pabu was the sort of place that seemed too flawless to be real. Too flawless to last.

Not quite as flawless as it seems on the surface, he acknowledged as he turned down a path that snaked through one of the sections of the island that had yet to be rebuilt after the catastrophic sea surge he’d heard about countless times at the welcoming party the previous night. The buildings had been reduced to rubble, and judging by the weeds sprouting in the cracks of the walkway, the locals tended to avoid this particular part of the island.

Perfect.

The gentle breeze off the ocean was chilly, and he told himself it was the reason his hand trembled more than usual that morning. He shoved both hands deep into his pockets as he navigated the last few levels before he reached the beach. As he stepped onto the sand, a gust of wind buffeted against him. It was bracingly cold, and it smelled like salt and aquatic vegetation and wet earth, and he closed his eyes for a moment, breathing deeply and focusing on the sensation.

When he opened his eyes, a flicker of movement in his peripheral vision had him snapping his head to the side. He froze. A figure meandered slowly down the beach, sticking close to the bottom of the hill where the lush foliage grew thickly right up to the edge of the sand. He was certain you had spotted him, but you didn’t immediately acknowledge his presence.

He watched for a moment as you paused and stooped down to examine one of the plants, then carefully plucked a few bunches and laid them in the basket you carried. Bizarre. What the kriff was this person doing out here so early? Nothing innocent, that was for damned sure. Why would anyone sneak down to such an isolated stretch of the beach at this obscene hour if they didn’t have nefarious intent?

Aside from me, obviously.

He squinted slightly. Even with his enhanced eyesight, it was dark enough, and you were far enough away, that it was difficult to make out your features, but he was reasonably sure you hadn’t been at the party the night before. 

Hmph.

He turned and walked the opposite direction, away from the person who’d had the audacity to interrupt his solitude by getting to the beach first. Better not to get involved.

Crosshair took a different route the next morning, arriving at the beach just as the sun rose. As bad kriffing luck would have it, you were exiting the beach just as he arrived, and your paths inevitably intersected. He braced himself for a conversation, but you simply met his eyes and nodded quietly as you passed him.

He suppressed a sigh of relief. Stepping aside to make room for you to pass on the narrow trail, he couldn’t help noticing that your basket was filled with a variety of neat bundles of leaves and twigs. Odd, but your hobbies were none of his concern. Even if they did involve herb rustling and grand theft shrubbery.

He continued his path down to the shoreline and wandered along the water’s edge, staring out at the horizon. Out of the corner of his eye, he could still see your solitary figure making its way up the steep slope and into Lower Pabu. He was now completely sure that you’d not been at the welcoming party, nor had he encountered you in the village. It wasn’t that surprising; after all, hundreds of people lived on the island, and he wasn’t in any particular hurry to meet them all—or any of them, if he were honest.

Of course, he didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. Wrecker had flatly refused to allow Crosshair to isolate himself, while the gregarious mayor Shep Hazard seemed equally dedicated to the twin causes of thrusting Crosshair into the community and plying him with as much fruit as he could eat in a lifetime. He was starting to feel a tiny surge of violence every time he saw a jogan fruit.

On the third day, Batcher woke up with Crosshair and scrambled out of the Marauder, bounding ahead of him down the ramp and then turning to wiggle her entire body in anticipation as he followed. He let the lurca hound pick the path that morning, not bothering to hide his thin smile at Batcher’s endless curiosity and enthusiasm. She crisscrossed the walkways incessantly, sniffing and exploring, chasing the moonyos playfully down the hill, investigating every nook and cranny of the village, and easily running five times the distance that Crosshair traveled on their way down to the water.

The beach was empty this morning, to Crosshair’s relief. At last, some peace and quiet. Or at least as quiet and peaceful as it could be with Batcher rocketing back and forth across the wet sand, grunting and huffing as she charged into the surf and back up to Crosshair, crouching into a bow as she tried to entice him to play with her. When he didn’t immediately comply, she took off chasing a flock of seabirds, scattering them into the air in a cacophony of indignant squawking.

She chased the birds down the beach, barking joyously as she splashed through the surf. When the hound disappeared around a bend in the shoreline, Crosshair sped up slightly, not wanting to risk Omega’s wrath if anything happened to her pet on his watch. As he rounded the bend, he was greeted with a most unexpected sight: Batcher was lying on her back on the sand, writhing with delight as you rubbed her belly.

Your basket was overturned, and all the neat little bundles of herbs were strewn across the sand. It wasn’t hard to deduce the instigator of such carnage. Batcher spotted Crosshair and immediately jumped up and shook the sand off herself before rushing to greet him.

“Down,” he said sternly as she jumped up and swiped at him with her massive paws.

She dropped obediently, and trotted along next to him as he approached you. You’d already begun picking up your fallen bundles of leaves, and he quickly bent to assist you.

“Sorry about that,” he mumbled.

“No harm done,” you replied, shaking a bit of loose sand out of the bundles before you dropped them into your basket. “They all get washed before I hang them up to dry anyway.”

“So you’re not just engaging in botanical heists for the adrenaline rush?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah, it really gets the blood pumping,” you replied, deadpan. “My day just doesn’t feel complete without a little horticultural larceny.”

“I can see you like to live on the edge,” he said with a tiny smile. “The Plant Prowler of Pabu.”

“And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for a mysterious stranger and his meddling dog.”

He liked you. Damn it.

Crosshair didn’t see you for the next several days. He assumed you’d moved your criminal enterprise elsewhere on the island, and after the team returned from Barton IV, he didn’t feel the same need to escape the Marauder as he had previously. Still, he wasn’t sleeping particularly well, and after an excruciatingly restless night, he slipped out of the ship not long before dawn and wandered aimlessly down the streets of Pabu until he found himself in the unstable section he’d discovered on the first day.

As he picked his way through the ruins, he spotted movement two terraces below, and he grinned. Forcing himself to walk casually so you didn’t suspect how pleased he was to see you, he sauntered down to your level, only to find you ripping weeds up from between the fragments of pavement with uncharacteristic abandon.

“What did those plants ever do to you?” he asked.

You must have spotted him before he arrived, because you didn’t even flinch at the sound of his voice.

“Invasive species,” you replied. “I try not to over-forage, but in this case, I’ll make an exception.”

“And I thought your crimes only extended to vegetational theft,” he drawled. “I had no idea you’d escalated to floral murder and agricultural vigilantism.”

“The hero Pabu needs,” you said with a smile that had no business being as charming as it was, considering you were currently covered in a fine layer of dirt and assorted bits of leaves and twigs. “If this plant gets established on the island, we might never be able to eradicate it. It will outcompete the native plants and could cause significant disruptions to the ecosystem.”

“How altruistic of you,” he remarked drily.

“Not at all,” you laughed. “It also happens to be delicious.”

Crosshair stooped down and pulled one of the plants up by the roots, examining it closely. “It’s on sight, then.”

“Exactly. No mercy.”

As the first rays of the sun appeared on the distant horizon, you packed the large bundles of weeds into your basket, then stood and dusted your hands off on your trousers. You stretched a bit, clearly a little stiff from your labor. Impulsively, Crosshair spoke.

“Want to watch the sunrise with me?” You looked surprised at his offer, and he cleared his throat, looking awkwardly away. “Or do you turn into a meiloorun if you stay out past dawn?”

“Yes,” you said. “I mean, no. I mean, yes, I’d like to stay. No, I don’t turn into a meiloorun.”

You bit your lip and stared down at the bundle of weeds in your basket, poking at it ineffectually as you muttered something unintelligible under your breath. Stifling a laugh, Crosshair climbed up onto the crumbling half-wall of a destroyed structure and extended his hand to help you up after him. You scrambled up and sat down next to him, gazing out at the tranquil ocean as the sun began to paint the high clouds in brilliant shades of gold and pastel.

“Not a bad view, is it?” you asked quietly. 

“Definitely worth waking up early,” he replied, watching your face as the light caught on your cheekbones and reflected in your eyes.

Without making a conscious decision, he lifted his hand and brushed a little loose dirt off your cheek. His damned hand trembled, and he mentally cursed. You didn’t seem to notice the slight tremor, though—or if you did, you didn’t say anything about it. Instead, you turned your head slowly, grazing your lips across his fingertips as you met his eyes. It seemed the most natural thing in the galaxy to continue to trace the line of your jaw until his hand curled around the back of your head.

Your lips were soft and warm in the cool breeze, and you tasted like sea salt and dew and something he didn’t quite recognize. Something new. He liked it. You leaned into his kiss, and when at last it came to its natural conclusion, he drew in a shaky breath.

“Hi,” he whispered. “I’m Crosshair.”

---

Want more Crosshair? I have another Crosshair x Reader ficlet here!

Taglist:

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[brookheimer]

shiv booking herself a room to grieve her dead father in because she does have emotions about it she is grieving she is crying but if she as a woman at waystar royco is seen showing them anywhere at any time she is ruined. the boys can boss everyone around can arbitrarily fire anyone who looks at them wrong roman can fire a longtime executive because she mentioned his dad kendall can be on the verge of tears when a set designer is unable to create realistic looking clouds in less than a day of work but shiv? shiv can't do any of that. shiv has to be stone. when men show emotion in the workplace, it isn't seen as emotion, it's seen as Man. anything a woman does in the workplace is seen as emotion and thus seen as Woman because the two are seen as being virtually interchangeable. shiv schedules her grief because it exists and she isn't actually the emotionless pinnacle of masculinist ideals (independence, self-sufficiency, pride, stoicism, distance) she tries to be but god is she fucking trying to be so she blocks herself out a twenty minute period of time to be a person because if she's a person in public then she becomes a Woman and that's untenable.

big fan of that specific choice from the writers' end because that was honestly a really smart way to straddle the modern 'conundrum' facing female characters -- it allowed her to simultaneously maintain masculinist respect and human emotionality, while very much drawing attention to the absurdity, cruelty, and inhumanity of both the expectations she's trying to meet and the degrees she must go to meet them. typically Strong Female Characters must be emotionless hard-hearted and cold if they hope to remain Strong. if they show emotion they are demoted from Strong Female Character to just Female Character. what a brilliant way to circumvent that -- it's not just Strong On The Outside Soft On The Inside or whatever, it's a character study moment while also being a metatextual critique of the absurd boundaries and forced emotion regulation placed on women not only in the workplace but on the screen. shiv hiding her moment of vulnerability shows that she hates it too, knows it's weak and bad and wrong too; shiv going out of her way to schedule moments of alone time to have emotions shows she won't let her emotions get in the way of anything important -- she's internalized the bizarre masculine emotional narrative deeply enough to be respectable in the audience's eyes, thus maintaining her position as a Strong character despite being seen acting like a "Female" one. but ! it's still framed so absurdly and painfully that it additionally works on the level of meta commentary, highlighting just how small and high the hoops female characters have to go through in order to be seen as respectable by a general audience while also retaining their humanity and emotionality (that male characters are free to express however they'd like)

[ibrithir-was-here]

i adore your bad end series! with the most recent post, i have to wonder what little quincey considers dracula to be. his weird uncle? his parents' "friend?" a spooky roommate?

Ah yes, the vampire lord in the corner.

I’m going to tag @unchartedentity for this as they asked a very similar question!

So, @animate-mush who’s wonderful writing keeps inspiring this series to new heights has had Quincey call him “Father” in parallel to Jonathan’s ‘Papa’ and yeah I can definitely see Dracula pressing for that title, both by his ‘right’ as the reason the child is a vampire in the first place “He owes what he is as much to myself as to who’s blood he shares. And doesn’t some of mine run through him now as well?”

And also just because he knows it’s a knife in Jonmina’s hearts to hear Quincey call him that

How the relationship actually pans out? I think that in actually it’s much more of a creepy weird uncle situation, mixed with a lot of Palpatine corruption attempts. Dracula finds Quincey’s whole existence deeply interesting, seeing the Harkers attempts at domesticity is incredibly bizarre to him and also humorous—I think he really feels at some moment Quincey will twist into proper Vampire mode and break his dear papa’s heart doing so, and robbed of his chance to take over England he’ll take his kicks where he can get them.

Also going to take this opportunity to post the Dracula and Quincey interaction I just drew

[stevie-petey]

Hear me out, Steve trying to win over mama Henderson. A blurb of Steve being a major kiss ass in every way possible. He earns quite a few brownie points and learns way too much neighborhood gossip. Just imagine bug coming home to Steve and her mom gossiping on the couch tews in his lap.

steve: i must make everyone like me

hes so real for that

enjoy !

"so, how do we really feel about jonathan?" steve has tews in his lap, so hes careful not to startle the young kitten as he leans in close to mrs henderson to whisper about the boy who has a bean bag dedicated to him in her daughters room.

claudia rests a hand against her chest and sighs deeply. she looks around, as if scared someone will overhear, before she leans over to whisper. "can i be honest?"

"always, mrs. henderson."

"i adore that boy. why, i even had a whole wedding planned for him and my y/n, but... well, youre just so handsome!"

steve gasps and places a hand over his chest as well, deeply happy with how this conversation is turning out. "mrs. henderson, youre a beautiful woman with wonderful children. this, well, its an honor that you think so highly of me."

claudia giggles, and steve winks at her. it's quiet for a few seconds as the two of them enjoy the smile on their faces. tews is purring steves lap and youre not home yet from picking dustin up from jonathans. he hadnt meant to be alone with your mom, claudia insisted he come in when he arrived and shoved a kitten into his arms and now hes here.

gossiping about jonathan byers as claudia henderson gushes over steve.

tews lets out a yawn and stretches lazily on top of steves lap. claudia watches fondly and coos at her cat. "i havent seen tews this comfortable around a stranger!"

"animals like me," steve shrugs. "plus, i think shes just happy i cleaned her litter box."

"i told you that there wasnt any need-"

"i wanted to help, mrs. henderson." steve reassures her for the millionth time. in this instance, he can see how much you resemble your mother. both of you too kind to ask for help.

claudia tauts at steve and shakes her head. she knows what hes doing, she saw jonathan do it for the five years he spent his childhood within her home.

claudia henderson knows what a boy looks like when hes in love with her daughter.

steve goes back to gently petting tews' head and claudia sighs. she knows she shouldnt intervene, but youre her baby girl and steve seems like such a wonderful boy.

the mother smiles softly at the teen sitting across from her. "jonathan is a lovely boy, ive watched him grow up and bring my y/n back to life after everything that happened when she was young, but i havent seen my daughter glow quite as much as she does when shes around you."

claudias eyes never stray from steve. he doesnt look up at her, but she knows hes heard what shes said by the way his breath catches, ever so slightly. she doesnt want to push him, but she can sense that hes a hurt boy who has been drawn in by your endless kindness. taking a breath, she says, "im happy my daughter has you, steve."

steves breath catches again and he coughs, trying to clear his throat of the shock he feels at your mothers words. in his startle, tews jumps out of his lap and returns to claudia, sending him a disgruntled glare as she settles herself into the womans lap.

"yeah, well." steve coughs again, eyes looking everywhere but at claudia. "im happy i have y/n, too."

claudia claps her hands, satisfied with his response. "good! now, dusty tells me your family is rich?"

a loud and unexpected laugh escapes steves mouth and his head spins at his bizarre the situation is. claudia snickers, pleased with herself, and steve once again sees so much of you in the woman. "dusty would be correct."

"even better!"

neither are sure how much time passes, but eventually their conversation transitions from a weird heart to heart to gossip about the neighborhood. before you arrive home, steve learns about the creepy neighbor down the street named dave, about the couple next door who just had a baby named penelope, and about the dog a few blocks down that once chased you when you were younger.

"the dog chased her halfway across hawkins! i swear, its why that girl now likes that insane hobby of hers." claudia huffs, stroking tews' head once more.

"she likes to run?" steve asks, amazed that he still has so much to learn about you.

"who likes to run?" you ask, stepping through the front door with dustin behind you. when you see steve sitting on your couch across from your mother, your shoulders drop. "oh, no. is my mom telling you more embarrassing stories about me?"

dustins shoulder knocks against yours as he walks inside. "did my mom tell you about the time y/n peed the bed last year?"

steves eyes widen and you jump on top of your brother, strangling him. "shut up!"

you wack at your brothers head and manage to bring him to his knees as you wrestle on the ground. dustin screeches and tries to claw you off of him, but youre still slightly bigger (though he keeps growing more and more every day). its a tangle of limbs and screams.

claudia and steve watch from the couch, both of them smiling fondly at the sight of the two siblings strangling one another.

"precious kids, mrs. henderson." the teen winks again at claudia, and she laughs.

[tachiguin]

The thing with Tanizaki Junichirou is that he isn’t boring, we just know next to nothing about him and why he’s the way he is. We know that he doesn’t consider himself brave, and that he claims that his ability isn’t suited for combat, which is actually severely underplaying his talents, if not an outright lie, because Light Snow absolutely is useful in combat, though we’re rarely shown this in practice, because Tanizaki tends to avoid direct combat. Unless Naomi is threatened, in which case he’d literally burn the world down to keep her safe.

credit to easygoingscans

Disregarding the squicky nature of their implicit relationship for a moment, Tanizaki’s devotion towards Naomi borders on obsessive, surpassing the extent of that which could be normal between either siblings or lovers. We can only speculate what kind of upbringing would have caused this.

We only really see glimpses of Tanizaki’s true capacity a few times. But it’s not just his ability that’s downright terrifying (crashing a civilian truck into Steinbeck, almost assassinating Mori during cannibalism), but his personality too. Tanizaki is always teetering on the edge of morality; he makes the conscious choice to be on the side of good, but he canonically offered to join the Port Mafia in Yosano’s place, which says a lot about what kind of person Tanizaki is. That’s not the kind of offer anyone could make if they were truly opposed to committing atrocities. Rather, Tanizaki making this offer is telling of the idea that although he understands where the line between right and wrong lies, he wouldn’t have second thoughts about crossing it, given a half decent reason.

I could argue than Tanizaki has roughly the same amount of ethical integrity as Dazai, that is to say, none at all. Their employment at the Armed Detective Agency happens to be a result of their conscious choice to be morally upright, in contrast to someone like Kunikida, who could probably never offer to join the Port Mafia, even if it were for the sake of an friend, due to his strict moral code.

Despite all of this, we know nothing about what made Tanizaki this way. We know that he used to be a student alongside Naomi, but that’s about it. Tanizaki’s innocuous previous profession tends to misdirect our thoughts away from reading deeply into Tanizaki. It creates an illusion of normalcy, you could say. But, upon second glance, it’s bizarre that Tanizaki could get written off as boring or simple, by both the characters in the story, and by us, the readers.

I think there is a lot of shots in the dark I could make at what kind of tragic backstory Tanizaki has been keeping secret, but I am going to conclude this post on an open ended note: What is Tanizaki hiding?