#it is no longer sept 21

[kinokoshoujoart]

LET’S GROOVE!

based on this official art of the awl girls! i wanted to see a version with my retro kings so i tried to draw ‘em in matsuyama’s old style

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

it's been a year since i lied to you and told you that yes ive moved on so can we please be friends again. can you really blame me? i thought getting good at suppressing our memories from that one month meant moving on. i didn't know that i would feel a lump in my throat when you called me suddenly in the middle of a sunday even tho the plan was to talk once a week and we had talked only 3 days before. i didn't know i would feel butterflies in my stomach when i heard your laugh so close to my ear, but can you really blame me for being reminded of you giggling talking about the logistics of kissing on your study table?

but it's been another year since we've talked on the phone. those memories are so distant and blurry and full of light and happiness that i can't even believe they happened to me, it feels like they happened to a different person. so you don't have to worry, because ive moved on now.

remember when i used to tell you that i miss you so much i can't think about anything else, that i spend all my day reading our old chats? and you used to say, you need to stop and there are other people in the world? well, you don't have to worry about feeling uncomfortable now. i passed the exam i failed because i was too heartbroken over you. i go to tuitions and then i go to internship and i come home so late that all i do is eat and sleep. ive been doing better these days.

and you were right, there are other people in the world. but do you know, i asked a girl to come watch barbie with me, and she made a disgusted expression and said she'd already watched it and she hated it? this happened after we shared a coffee and realising we live next to each other and finding out that she watches kdramas and i listen to kpop. so surprising isn't it? someone who probably understands toxic masculinity and gender roles are fucked up still has internalised misogyny in her? nobody can compare to you, you lecturing me about feminism in tenth standard and your little book club with assigned reading as a thousand splendid suns and you having tears in your eyes showing us harry styles with pride flags in his concerts and you being mean and blunt saying i need to talk about my internalised homophobia. im starting to think you were one in a million and i was a fool to lose you, and an even bigger fool to have had you back and then lose you again.

but do you understand now? you told me you didn't, two years ago. i asked you, don't you understand that i was going crazy dealing with my psychotic family and i was depressed and tired and couldn't talk? and you said no, you're sorry, you really don't, you don't understand how someone can not share why they're sad to the person they supposedly love the most in the world. as i was writing this, daylight by taylor swift started playing. ironic, isn't it? there are many memories ive tried to erase from that one month, but this one i cannot forget- me coming into your room the night we planned and asking you if you're sure about this and is this like an experiment thing a oh what's kissing like thing or is it a we're in love with each other thing, and you smiling softly and saying girl yes i am sure it is one hundred percent a we're in love thing.

ive been getting better at sharing my sadness with my loved ones. my parents haven't stopped fighting, my dad shouted at my mom today morning because my brother lost the car keys, but it's okay, ive learned to tune it out. he only lives here for half a month, he stays somewhere else the other half so it's been easier to bear. my sister moved out, finally. ive been sad because of it but i know she's obviously happier there so it's okay. we have a neighbor and they have this tiny tiny annoying si kid she always comes to her house after her mom scolded her to sulk and watch tv with us. how is your little sister doing? i think of her when our neighbor devil comes. and how is your mom doing? are they settling in well to the new city? and how are you doing? have you been okay? we don't have to be exes trying to be friends again. but can't we just be childhood friends (if age 15 was childhood) who drifted apart briefly but found their way back to each other? please?

but it's okay, if we can't. cause like i said, ive moved on.

[ecto-implosion]

Hello Implosion Enthusiasts! Spring has finally arrived, days are longer, flowers are blooming and the EI team has been knee deep in spring cleaning. We've been working hard to ensure everything runs smoother than last year!

There's still a few months until the Implosion, but we would already like to share with you the updated

Ecto-Implosion 2024 Schedule!

You heard that right! The schedule's all ready to go! But first let's address a few important changes from last year.

Partner Check-Ins! Similarly to our sister event @invisobang, we're gonna implement two partner check-ins. This is to ensure that everyone has been able to reach out to their partners. Shortened Schedule! This year, we're making an effort to embrace the "mini" part of this minibang. Therefore we're shortening down the event to only 3 months.

There will be a separate post coming out about changes in rules, check-in criteria etc.

NOW. The moment you've all been waiting for! We're glad to announce that we'll be seeing you again, when the sign-ups open on September 1st!

*insert applause*

This year's sign-ups:

Artists: Sept 1 - Sept 13 Authors: Sept 1 - Sept 16 Betas and Pinch Hitters: Sep 1 - Sep 16

This year's posting week: Nov 10 - Nov 17

That's it for now! You can view the entire schedule under the cut. See you in September! Stay Imploding!

Ecto-Implosion 2024 Schedule:

Sept 1 - Sign-ups open for everyone Sept 13 - Artist Sign-ups close Sept 15 - Check-in 1 / Clearance for Submission Sept 16-19 - Submissions Sept 16 - Author/Beta/PH Sign-ups close Sept 21-23 - Claims! Sept 25 - Pairings Announcement! Oct 2 - Check-in 1.5 / Partner Check-in Oct 13 - Check-in 2 Oct 23 - Check-in 2.5 / Partner Check-in Nov 3 - Check-in 3 Nov 10-17 - Posting Week! Dec 1 - Closing the Server

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

03/03/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; OurFlagTurns2; AdoptOurCrew Rhys Cameo; Samba Schutte; Vico Ortiz; Nathan Foad; In Soup Now Fundraiser; Watch Party Reminders; Wrecked;Newark Newark; Our Flag Means RTL; Fan Spotlight; Taika Cast Card; Captain's Orders Cont'd; TX OFMD Meet Up - Well and Truly Docked; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika

#OurFlagTurns2!

Happy 2nd OFMD Anniversary Crew!

So many things were going on for the 2nd Anniversary! @AdoptOurCrew were putting out questions/prompts to increase community engagement! Did you all send any stories their way?

Thank you to @PaulineKnip for catching the #OurFlagTurns2 tag trending!

@adoptourcrew was kind enough to get the crew a Cameo from our esteemed Captain! They were having some technical difficulties getting the full thing uploaded, so I've included it here for now, but you can access it via their @AdoptOurCrew Tiktok

== Fundraisers ==

In Soup Now is now live! Interested in helping raise funds for Team Haven Belfast to support their work to feed unhoused neighbors? Check out: InSoupNow: In Aid of Team HAVEN for WeeJohnWonday

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

== Samba Schutte ==

Samba posted a couple of things in honor of the 2 year anniversary of OFMD in his Stories!

== Vico Ortiz ==

Just some photos of Vico and what they've been up to lately!

== Nathan Foad ==

Nathan has a bunch of stuff on BBC this week! Please give some a watch to support him!

Monday 4th 11:15pm - BBC2 - "Our Flag Means Death; s2e5'

Tuesday 5th 10pm - BBC2 - 'Newark, Newark' Ep 1

On iplayer (&repeating tonight, 11:40 pm bbc3) ' Things you should have done' ep two.

== Watch Party Reminders ==

For all current watch parties, check out Watch Party Calendar

Mar 4 - Mar 8: Wrecked Season 1

Wrecked is no longer on any streaming platform, and it is not available digitally on US sites. (Apparently, it is available on German Amazon?) There are sources being passed around. If access is an issue, DM @iamadequate1 on Twitter or Tumblr

Season 1 watch from March 4th to March 8th. 

Season 2 watch from March 11th to March 15th. 

Season 3 watch from March 18th to March 22nd. 

Times will be 10pm GMT / 5pm EST / 4pm CST / 2pm PST. Watch two episodes per day. Episodes are 21-22 minutes each. Use the following Saturday for the tags/watch if interested but not able to make this time.

Hashtags: 

#WreckedPirates

#SaveOFMD

#RhysDarbyFaction

= Mar 5: NewarkNewark with @adoptourcrew =

Please join @adoptourcrew for a @NewarkNewark watch party on March 5th at 10 pm GMT/ 2pm PS / 5pm EST!

== Deutsche Nachrichten / German News ==

Twitter-Watch-Along von Our Flag Means Death:

Streamt Staffel 2 ab dem 15. März.

Samstag, 9.3. 17:00 Folgen 1 bis 3, 

Dienstag, 12.3. 20:00 Folgen 4 & 5, 

Mittwoch, 13.3. 20:00 Folgen 6 & 7, 

Donnerstag 14.3. 20:00 Folgen 8 & 9, 

Freitag, 15.3. 17:30 Folge 10

Und anschließend bingen wir zusammen Staffel 2! 

Schaut und tweetet mit! 

Hashtag:

 OurFlag RTL.

== Fan Spotlight ==

== Cast Cards! ==

Our crew-mate @melvisik is back again, this time with a Taika trading card! So glad to see Taika joining the rest of the cast!

== Captain's Orders ==

Two more of our crew-mates, @amuseoffyre and @pehmokoira were kind enough to share their #CaptainsOrders pictures with us! Thanks for getting out everyone, even if the weather wasn't perfect!

== In Person Events! ==

TX: Sept 21/22 - Well and Truly Docked on the Strand Hey Crew! Some of our crew-mates in TX are holding an in-person OFMD Fan Gathering on Galveston Island in Galveston, TX - September 21/22! Learn more! For tickets, visit Truly Docked 2024

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies. It's been two years. Two years since OFMD started the journey to bringing all of us together. I know a lot of us are later to the party than others, but I just wanna say thank you to OFMD for helping so many of us feel loved, and included, and safe-- and for this fandom for always being so welcoming.

Whether you've been here since the first trailer was shown, or since the cancellation of s2, you are part of this found family and we're so happy to have you.

I know a lot of folks are worried right now, and we've been going for so long, but we have something to celebrate today! 2 years! Can you believe it?

I've had more fun in the last half a year with you all, than I have in nearly a decade. The love and support I feel in this community is so strong that I feel like there's hope for just about anything. I fully believe we're going to get our s3 at this point because everything we're doing means something. This show is all about queer joy, and we need that on tv, and we're showing everyone exactly what it means to us. It's gonna happen. We're manifesting that shit.

You are wonderful lovelies, every last one of you. Don't ever forget that. I hope you have a fulfilling, restful evening/day, and everything good you could need happens for you. Stay strong, we made it this far, we'll make it through <3.

= Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika =

Sorry but I can't speak with these gifs here:

Fingers. Palpable Fingers.

Darby Courtesy of @wastingyourgum

Taika Courtesy of @waititi-tho

[half-oz-eddie]

Journaling Billy is so personal for me.

Billy with a gratitude journal that he writes in every time something good happens, or someone does something nice for him.

He got the journal from a nurse at the hospital post-starcourt, who thought it would be a nice way for him to pass the time, while also lifting his spirits and helping him realize how much love and kindness is around him, even if he doubts it.

It's just a blue, soft cover bound book, but he humors the nurse because she's got warm, pretty eyes and reminds him of his mom.

He uses it often, even after leaving the hospital.

Steve catches him writing in his journal one day, and Billy tells him it's fine if he reads the gratitude journal but not his diary.

Steve, of course, is dying to see what's in the journal, what Billy considers nice, and what good things have been happening to the love of his life.

Aug 1, 1985 Everyone came to see me. Even those kids Harrington always babysits. That's nice, right?

Aug 5 Harrington brought me some food from some burger joint. It was good. I guess he's nice even though I was kind of a dick to him.

Aug 21 Harrington showed up to drive me home. I don't know why he's being so nice to me. It pisses me off because I think he just feels sorry for me. I'm probably using this journal the wrong way but I don't care. I can't talk to anybody about this. I'm not feeling that grateful for shit today.

Aug 25 Max helped me with my pain medication. I thought she hated me. She acts like everything's fine. I have to admit I’m grateful what happened only stays in my nightmares and I wake up to a different reality.

Aug 29 Harrington called to check on me. Offered to come over and play cards. He doesn't have to keep pretending. I like the company, though.

Sept 10th Max tried to stay home from school to look after me. I'm doing a lot better so I didn't need the help. I still don't understand why everyone's being so nice after what I did. Sept 14th Felt strong enough to go out for some air on my own. Saw Sinclair and that other kid. Think his name's Dustin. They were on their bikes. They waved and asked how I was doing. Told them I was fine and they rode off. Do I deserve their concern? Sept 15th Sinclair came back while I was on the porch. Asked for Max. I told him he couldn't be here because of Neil. We waited for Max a few houses down and talked about basketball. He's trying out for the team so I gave him some advice. It was a nice conversation. Didn't feel forced at all.

Sept 20th I told Lucas I was sorry for what happened that night. He said he'd forgotten all about it. I know the little shit was lying, but I guess he forgives me. That was cool of him.

Sept 29th Lucas made the team and thanked me for the advice. I don't feel like I did anything.

Oct 4th I'm feeling better than ever. Driving around on my own again. Nobody seems to blame me for what I did, and everyone's nice everywhere I go.

Oct 11th Went to see El. She's always kind to me. She's like the little sister I never had. She made me some waffles.

Oct 15th Saw Harrington again. It was warm so we went swimming in his pool. I really missed the water.

Oct 29th Haven't been writing much down. It feels like I'm saying the same things over and over. Everyone's always nice to me. Dad's not bothering me anymore. I feel like I have a lot of support around me. For once I feel safe. Oct 31st Went to a halloween party with Harrington. First time having a beer in months. Got a little too drunk and we kissed. He didn't seem to hate it. I didn't either.

Nov 9th Finally talked to Steve again after the kiss. He asked if I wanted to go steady. I said no at first, then changed my mind. I'm glad I did.

Steve smiled as he read every entry. Every few days, Billy's entries were longer and longer. He talked about things that made him smile, people he met, and how much he appreciated the simplest things. It was an amazing transformation. He continued to read the entries, his eyes widening when he read the most recent one. January 12th 1986 I'm falling in love with Steve. I was hoping he’d say it first but he hasn’t said anything. Maybe I’m too hopeful. He treats me like he loves me too, I think. But I’m not sure. Steve quickly closed the book, feeling like he'd violated Billy's privacy by reading something he hadn't known before. "Why so quiet, Steve? You read yesterday's entry, huh?" "I—yeah. I thought maybe you wrote it in the wrong journal."

"I didn't. I was gonna tell you, I just...I dunno. I didn't want you to think I was trying to move too fast."

Steve laughed. "You have no idea how relieved I am."

Billy narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"Billy, I've been in love with you for weeks."

Billy snorted. "You're such a sap, pretty boy."

They shared a kiss and Billy wrote in his journal about how grateful he was, to love and be loved.

January 16th On August 21st last year, I was wrong. I have everything to be grateful for.

▪️▫️▪️

A little something to show my gratitude for reaching 400 followers. I appreciate all of you ❤️

Also tagging some friends I’ve met here that really belong in my gratitude journal for all the kindness they’ve shown lately and their posts just make me smile.

@salthat @shieldofiron @monsterpegger001 @dragonflylady77 @harringroveera @bigdumbbambieyes @brightside-of-the-upsidedown @thatgirlwithasquid

[talonabraxas]

2024 Wheel of the Year (Sabbats) Pagan Wheel

Feb 2 – IMBOLC (also called Candlemas, Imbolg, and Saint Brigid’s Day) It is midway between the Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox. This sabbat reminds us that the light is growing stronger and that the harshness of winter will start to fade. To celebrate the growing light, many Pagans will light candles on this holiday.

Mar 19 – OSTARA /Spring Equinox: light and darkness are in perfect balance on this day. Moving forward, daylight will continue to grow as we head into Spring. It is a time to celebrate balance and the arrival of Spring. It represents new beginnings and the freshness of a new day. What’s past is in the past and past and it’s time to move forward.

May 1 – BELTANE (also known as May Day) (pronounced BELL-tain) This is an exciting and energetic holiday that celebrates sexuality, fertility, and all of the life that comes with Spring. It is a time of great joy and celebration! Feel the creative energy of the Universe. It is a time of renewal and rebirth … a time to grow as a person and reinvent yourself if you so desire.

June 20 – LITHA / Summer Solstice The Sun is at its maximum strength … it is the longest day of the year. This is a season of growth, fruitfulness, abundance, and strength. It’s a great night to perform spells for money, abundance, and financial security … and the strength to do what you need to do to be successful.

June 23 – Midsummer’s Eve: the night before Mid-Summer (June 24). It is considered a night of potent magick. Many Witches will be performing rituals and casting spells on this night. It is also a night when fairies roam the land. If you work with the fairy realm, this is an important night for you!

Aug 1 – LAMMAS (also known as Lughnassadh) the first harvest festival. It celebrates the first grains harvested for baking bread. Celebrate by baking or buying a loaf of bread and sharing it as a celebration.

Sept 22 – MABON / Fall Equinox: the light and darkness are in balance on this day. But it marks the change from the light half of the year to the dark half of the year. Moving forward the darkness will grow longer and the daylight will grow shorter. It is a celebration of the second harvest festival and is celebrated by feasting and visiting with family and friends.

Oct 31 – SAMHAIN (pronounced SAH-win) (as known as Halloween) This is the Witches’ New Year! The veil between worlds is thinnest and the dead are thought to return and visit. It is a night to communicate with the spirits, spirit guides, and ancestors. It is also a night to work with Tarot cards and Crystal Balls!

Samhain is also a time when we come to terms with death and are openly encouraged to let go of our fears of it. It is a time when we acknowledge the hard moments of life that we usually don’t think or talk about. If there are things we need to let go of, Samhain is a good time to release them!

Dec 21 – YULE / Winter Solstice: The real reason that this time of year was celebrated .. before christianity existed. We are halfway through the dark part of the year. The darkness is at its peak…moving forward the light begins to grow stronger and days become longer. You can see why the newly formed cult of christianity, which is what it was at the time, choose this time of year for the birth of christ…the light grows strong and brighter…the Sun is reborn. Yule traditions include burning a Yule log, kissing under mistletoe, and placing an evergreen tree in your home to represent the sustaining of life during the winter.

[seonghwanotes]

new years eve | jeong yunho

pairing: yunho x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 953

a/n: this was originally a collab but i completed the ending bc the writer i collabed with had closed her acc so yeah, this had me thinking for a lil bit. ALSO THE GIF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im getting bias wrecked big time, i cannot imagine being yunhonotes 😭 (21 Aug 2021)

a/n: as i write this, it is 28th sept 2023 😭 had this in my drafts for a while, did not proofread at all so will just post this up for now x

It was finally the most awaited week of the whole year, Christmas week. It was a family tradition for everyone to start preparing for Christmas when December came by but this year round, you were away from your family and you were spending it with Yunho and his friends. Considering that everyone was busy with their own schedules and you finally got a break till New Years, you began your preparation a little later than usual.

But as usual, Christmas went by in a blink of an eye. Right after you had taken down the Christmas tree all by yourself, you let out a loud sigh, feeling a little sad. It certainly felt a little different since it was something you’d do together with your family members but it didn’t feel as lonely since you were with your loving boyfriend.

You grabbed your phone off the couch and took a picture of the now dismantled tree, sending it to Yunho who was at practice with the boys. Not even a second passed, he had seen your message and immediately called you.

“Oh, hello?”

“Y/N, how can you take down the tree without me helping you out? It must have been hard, especially with the upper part of the tree.” He scolded you, making you chuckle.

“Yunho, it’s fine. I was gonna do it by today anyway and I was free after you left so I just got it done. You would be home later anyway. I used a chair in case you were wondering.” You replied back, earning a sigh from him. You didn’t need to be next to him to see his pout and know that he was upset for not helping you out.

You waited for a bit as you sat down, grabbing your gifts you got for Yunho along with the gift wrapper. You set your call on speaker mode and put your phone down. You could only hear some of the boys whispering to each other but it wasn’t too audible since the background music was blocking their voices out.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry I didn’t wait till you came home but tomorrow’s New Years eve! You know I don’t like keeping the tree up for longer than 3 days. Anyway, I’m going to the supermarket soon to get some stuff for our dinner tomorrow.” You told him, still not getting a response back. “Should I get champagne too?”

You and Yunho spent a homely Christmas together as everyone was with their family except for the two of you. It was not much but work has definitely made your lives much more busier, causing you two to not get presents for each other in time that you were doing it pretty late. Not that it mattered to you at this age but you felt bad for not carrying out a simple task.

You started wrapping your presents, occasionally glancing at your phone to see if he was about to end the call since he wasn’t answering you back. There was some light bickering among the boys but you couldn’t hear what they were talking about. “Jeong Yunho, If you wanted to help me out so badly, do me a favour and ask the boys what they would want for gifts or I’m wrapping vegetables for all 8 of you.”

Your threat seemed to slightly work as you heard Mingi chime at the other side of the call, “Ya, I don’t want vegetables this year. You better ask her for her size or I’m asking her myself!”

Size? Your size for what? You were about to voice out but Yunho cut you to it. “Well, that sounds fine. Go ahead, baby.”

“So you want me to get vegetables for them?” You questioned, earning a yell from Jongho.

“Y/N! Don’t listen to hyung! Get us what you feel like getting us except vegetables… what? Oh, no mint chocolate for Hongjoong hyung and Seonghwa hyung. We love you!” He yelled, making you laugh. These boys were enough to make you feel like you were at home.

“Not sure why I’m on speaker mode but okay.” You answered back, hearing someone getting a hard smack. You were about to end the call but stopped when Yunho called out. “Baby, wait! One more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Your hand is almost the same as San’s right?” The question almost came out as a whisper, Yunho knowing you would get agitated at that question since your hands were the size of a child compared to his delicate giant ones.

“You know the answer already. Why are you even asking this? Are you getting me a bracelet from Pandora or what?” You asked him, sealing the gift wrapper with a ribbon on top for Yunho’s gift, which was a Rolex watch and matching rings that you’ve been eyeing for a while now.

A silence was heard initially, then a voice followed along. “Yeah, would rose gold do?”

Your cheeks flushed, “Ah, um, yeah. See you later then. Tell the boys to be early tomorrow. Oh, I’ll get 3 bottles of champagne then, okay?”

“Okay, sure thing. Yes, 3 is fine. I love you.” Yunho replied, sending a kiss through the call.

“Love you too.” You responded and ended the call.

One gift wrapped and there was more to go. You sighed, pushing them away for awhile and opened your laptop to surf the internet, making a list on what to buy for the boys, wanting it to be meaningful as well. Even if Christmas wasn’t as joyful as you wanted it to be, New Years was going to be the most memorable holiday you had in a while and you couldn’t wait for it to arrive.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Welcome to My Blog!

Hey all!! Decided to finally make a proper pinned post; if there's something you think I missed, please let me know and I'll add it below!

Whether you're new to the fandom or a Lovely Longtime Lurker, I hope you enjoy your time here, and don't hesitate to contact me for anything! I try my best to answer as many asks as I can, but please know that I cannot answer them all.

============

[ASK ME ANYTHING] || [SEND ME STUFF]

AMA is my ask box; submit Playlist entries, boost your fics, ask the community to help you find a fic, AMA or sing my praises, or tell me about your day! Literally anything! :) Anons are on.

SMS is my Submit Box; use this if you want to write longer asks, or want to add an attachment to your ask :)

Johnlock Fic Recs Masterlist (My Full Lists): inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/myficrecs

Johnlock Playlist: THE JOHNLOCK PLAYLIST ON [SPOTIFY] & [YOUTUBE]

My Advice Asks Tag: http://inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/tagged/my%20advice

Found Fics from Asks: http://inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/tagged/found%20fics

My Good Omens Blog: @inevitably-ineffable-husbands

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Support me and my work with one-time donations: https://ko-fi.com/A571A3Y

I also accept colourful checkmarks too <3

OTHER THINGS

Every Friday at 8AM ET, I post Five Fics Friday, which are five new fics I've either read or put on my MFL list every week. I've done a new list every week for four years:

YEAR ONE MASTERPOST (Sept 29/19 to Sept 25/20)

YEAR TWO MASTERPOST (Sept 25/20 to Sept 24/21)

YEAR THREE MASTERPOST (Oct 1/21 to Sept 23/22)

YEAR FOUR MASTERPOST (Sept 30/22 to Sept 22/23)

FIVE FICS FRIDAY BLOG TAG: http://inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/tagged/five%20fics%20friday

Every Sunday at 8AM ET, it's Fic Rec Sunday, on which I post a new or reblogged fic list prompted by asks. All fics posted on these Sundays are part of my Fic Rec Masterlist.

Every Wednesday at 8AM ET, it's Fic Rec Wednesday, on which I reblog an old list that I pick at random or want some new additions to. This is the blog tag: http://inevitably-johnlocked.tumblr.com/tagged/fic%20rec%20wednesday

Every Saturday on my Twitter, I post the Fic Rec Roundup, which is basically a rundown of all the lists I've posted throughout the week on my blog, in case you missed it. As Twitter keeps falling apart, I'm thinking of just doing it weekly here instead. Let me know what you guys think.

=======

If there's anything you guys think I need to post up on this pinned post, let me know!

[hazyange1s]

MC: Raegan DesRosiers

Basics

Full name: Raegan Caítríona DesRosiers

Nickname: Rae, Rae Rae, Reggie (don’t call her that she’ll hex you)

Gender: female

Species: witch

Date of birth: November 27, 1874

Nationality: French and Irish

Blood status: half blood

Wand: blackthorn, dragon heartstring, 11 3/4 in, rigid

Appearance

Hair color: dark ginger

Hair style: often worn pulled back in a loose braid or bun, though she starts wearing it down w/ her natural messy waves in sixth year

Eye color: amber

Skin tone: fair

Height: 5’5” (and some change)

Body type: curvy and toned from Quidditch/dueling

Clothing style: dark and warm colors (black, red, brown), likes heavy fabrics such as wool, velvet, and leather, prefers to dress casual in battle-ready clothes but also enjoys dressing up

Accessories:

likes to use her wand to keep her hair up

often wears dragon hide gloves

ring made of goblin metal (given to her in sixth year)

Other distinguishing features:

two old scars through her left eyebrow (no memory of getting them)

longer scar over the same eye (cut by a sword during the final repository battle)

LOTS of freckles

Personality

Traits: confident, hotheaded, proud, rebellious, domineering, persuasive, flirtatious

Likes: summer, history, flying, parties, freedom, traveling, independence

Dislikes: authority, swimming/the rain, silence, wet blankets, seafood

Hobbies: dueling, Quidditch, historical research, dancing, weapon-making

Fears: drowning, being forgotten/insignificant, losing control

MBTI: ESTP-T

Enneagram: 8w7 (873) sx/sp

Zodiac: Sagittarius sun, scorpio moon, leo rising

Temperament: choleric

Archetype: The Rebel

Similar characters: Aelin Galthynius, Ginny Weasley, Damon Salvatore, Bellamy Blake, Jude Duarte, Faith Lehane

Family/Friends

Father: Marcel DesRosiers

Muggle

French diplomat

Left when Raegan was eight

Massive preening asshole who despises magic

Mother: Kassady DesRosiers (Fallon)

Pureblood witch

Dragonologist

Killed when Raegan was 15 (a victim of Jack the Ripper)

Gryffindor alumnus

Sibling: Ronan Sharp (half-brother/twin in utero)

Parents are Kassady DesRosiers and Aesop Sharp

Two months older (born Sept. 21)

Hufflepuff

Pet: Soleil

Phoenix (found in the mountain cave)

Fiercely loyal; as all phoenixes are, known to show up at odd times (whether she’s in trouble or just to harass his mom)

Friends: Diana Blackwine (childhood best friend), Sebastian Sallow, Natsai Onai, Garreth Weasley, Ominis Gaunt, Leander Prewett, Imelda Reyes (frenemies)

Magic

Boggart: her father…until her guilt over the loss of Professor Fig leads him to be her new one

Patronus: tigress

Polyjuice: turns amber and tastes like honey mead

Amortentia: cinnamon, clove, smoke, and sandalwood

Special abilities:

Ancient magic

Dark Arts (wielded “when necessary” which is really just…whenever her instincts say)

Pyromancy - Raegan is an Igneus; a species of witch that is immune to and can conjure fire at will, the trait being passed through her mother’s bloodline

Backstory

Born in Avignon, France, Raegan had a turbulent childhood. While her mother was loving and kind, she often had to travel for her work - as did Raegan’s father, meaning she was often with only one parent for extended periods of time or had to be watched by one of her paternal aunts. When he was around, Marcel was not an affectionate man…in fact, he was often physically and verbally abusive to his wife right in front of Raegan and extended the treatment to her as she got older.

Eventually he discovered that Kassady had had an affair and conceived a son with another man. This coupled with his disdain for witchcraft led him to abandon his wife and daughter. So, the two moved back to Kassady’s hometown of Galway, Ireland.

However, times were tough. Her mother’s career as a dragonologist was no longer lucrative enough in the troubling times, and so they again relocated to London.

It was there that Kassady met a tragic, sudden end at the hands of an unidentified serial killer (who many suspected was actually a wizard). A newly orphaned Raegan, upon hearing the news, burned her house to the ground and wound up killing the officer who reported it accidentally.

The emotion was enough to unlock the ancient magic that had been hidden away inside of her, and just days after her mother’s funeral she received her Hogwarts letter. She now lives with her best friend (Diana)’s aunt in Scotland.

Academics

Best subject: DADA

Favorite subject: Flying and History of Magic

Favorite teacher: Hecat and Sharp

Worst subject: Herbology

Least favorite subject: Herbology and Divination

Least favorite teacher: Binns

Quidditch: Chaser (sixth year) and Quidditch Captain in seventh

As a student:

Rarely late, but she does miss (more than) a few classes in her fifth year

Detention record reads more like a rap sheet

Infamous but still respected; dedicated and intelligent

Future

Career: Auror

Though Raegan notoriously resists authority and despises the incompetence of the Ministry, she sees working for them as an opportunity to change things. Being in on the more secretive matters going on behind the scenes of the Wizarding World (and the chance to deal with them under the protection of their influence) doesn’t hurt, either.

They likely would have fired her on her first day for her insubordination, but they can’t deny the fact that she quickly becomes one of the best they have. Really, it’s a case of mutual loathing maintained through an advantageous truce.

Eventually, she does leave of her own accord, and takes up studying ancient history and magical weapon making.

Spouse: Sebastian Sallow (m. 1898)

(thanks @rypnami for motivating me by association to finally post this months old draft 🤠)

[doomandgloomfromthetomb]

John Fahey - Carnegie Hall, New York City, Sept. 21, 1973

Hey, let's just hang out in September of 1973 for a little while longer. While Lou Reed was laying waste to Europe and Neil Young was opening the Roxy, John Fahey played a unique triple bill at Carnegie Hall in NYC, sharing the spotlight with jazz-pop mystic Gabor Szabo and bossa nova pioneer Laurindo Almeida.

I stumbled across this advertisement in an old Village Voice a little while back and had to ask: "Is there a tape?!" Lo and behold, yes — but maybe only of the Fahey set? Was the taper a die-hard Blind Joe Death-head who left after John opened the show? Maybe. Or maybe I just can't find the Szabo and Almeida recordings. Help me out, Gaborians!

But John sounds good enough for now — great, actually. He wastes no time getting to the serious stuff, opening his portion of the show with a dazzling, almost half-hour "Fare Forward Voyagers." This is, in many ways, peak Fahey, kaleidoscopic in its ambition, his technique flawless, his sense of adventure boundless. Despite the composition's epic length, it's a gripping performance throughout, leaving you hanging on every note. This is your real destination, as T.S. Eliot reminds us.

John wraps things up with relatively briefer versions of "Dance of the Inhabitants" and "Beverly," his in-between song patter as typically laid-back as can be, in spite of the hallowed setting. What happened next? Not sure, but I like to think the evening concluded with an all-star jam — Fahey, Szabo and Almeida performing a 45-minute improv raga or something. Stranger things have happened, right? At least a few!

[tomorrowusa]

Events in Israel and Gaza have overshadowed news of Ukrainian progress in driving out Russian invaders.

Ukraine used M39 Army Tactical Missile System (ATACMS) missiles provided by the US for the first time against two targets in Ukraine occupied by Putin's forces. One of those targets was an airfield in Berdyansk on the coast of the Sea of Azov.

The result was “one of the most serious strikes of all time” in Russia’s 21-month wider war on Ukraine, according to Fighterbomber, a popular Russian Telegram channel. The Ukrainian military claimed it destroyed a combined nine helicopters in the Berdyansk attack and a simultaneous raid on a facility in Luhansk, farther to the east. Ukrainian analysis team Frontelligence Insight compared high-resolution Planet Labs satellite imagery from September with lower-resolution imagery from Wednesday broadly to confirm the military’s claim. Frontelligence Insight scrutinized imagery from Sept. 29 and pinpointed four Kamov Ka-52 and one Mil Mi-24 helicopters parked on the northern apron at the Berdyansk base. The group then scrutinized imagery from Oct. 17—and found scorch marks where those five helicopters should have been.

Here's how ATACMS work.

The M39 Army Tactical Missile System, or ATACMS, is a two-ton, 13-foot ballistic missile with a solid rocket motor and a warhead containing 950 grenade-size submunitions. Fired by a tracked or wheeled launcher, the 1990s-vintage missile ranges as far as 100 miles under inertial guidance. An M39 usually should strike within 50 yards or so of its aim-point. This isn’t super-accurate by modern standards, but it’s accurate enough considering that the M39 is an area weapon.

Why the attack on Berdyansk is important.

And now the Russians must make some difficult choices in order to protect their surviving rotorcraft from follow-on ATACMS raids. “The impact of this devastating attack is undeniable,” Frontelligence Insight noted. “It will likely disrupt helicopter operations in the south of Ukraine for some time, compelling the Russians to adjust their logistics and the operations of nearby helicopter bases.”

Russia can no longer count on distance to keep its helicopters safe. Not being able to use helicopters reliably will hurt its operations as Ukrainian forces gradually push south to cut off occupied Crimea by land from Russia.

Wars don't go away because other wars break out or because people in third countries get bored with them. Putin has no fucking business in Ukraine and his invasion is a direct threat to the eastern flank of America's NATO allies.

[shotofchinaco]

By MICHAEL KUNZELMAN Updated 3:35 PM PST, November 21, 2023 WASHINGTON (AP) — A New York massage therapist who joined the mob of Trump supporters attacking the U.S. Capitol was sentenced on Tuesday to three months in jail, capping a case in which he skipped court hearings, profanely insulted a prosecutor and berated the judge who punished him. Frank Rocco Giustino pleaded guilty in February to a misdemeanor charge related to the Jan. 6, 2021, riot at the Capitol. But he was arrested last month after failing to appear in court for an earlier sentencing hearing.

U.S. District Judge James Boasberg told Giustino that he seemed to have no remorse for his conduct on Jan. 6 or any respect for the court’s authority. “Your behavior from the moment of the (guilty) plea until sentencing has been about the worst of any January 6th defendant I’ve had,” the judge said. Giustino said he condemns the violence at the Capitol and didn’t intend to be disrespectful. “I just want to go home,” said Giustino, who will remain in custody for approximately two more months.

Prosecutors recommended a sentence of four months of incarceration. They initially asked for a 21-day sentence, but they sought a longer term of imprisonment after Giustino disrupted a June 23 court hearing with defiant outbursts. During the June hearing, Giustino derided his case as “an absolute clown show of a prosecution.” He told the judge that he fired his lawyer and wanted to represent himself. He also used language that appeared to comport with the sovereign citizen extremist movement’s belief that the U.S. government is illegitimate. “We’re not doing any sentencing date,” he said, according to a transcript. “Have you guys heard anything that I have said? Have you seen anything that I have filed? This is not a real court. There is not a single judicial officer here presiding on my case.” The judge told Giustino to act in a “civilized fashion” and said he would issue a warrant for his arrest if he didn’t show up in court for his sentencing. “Why don’t I issue a warrant for your arrest? I think the U.S. marshal should come after you, not me,” Giustino told the judge, punctuating his rant with expletives directed at a prosecutor. Assistant U.S. Attorney Douglas Collyer said Giustino sent him an email on Sept. 5 in which he referred to his prosecution as the “very definition of terrorism,” said he would appear in court only as a “courtesy” and demanded the dismissal of his case along with an apology.

[workworkworkbakebakebake]

Her first 2 children had been for the stability of the realm, she had loved them vastly but her third child was to be just for her - she had wanted another babe to raise - she wanted to find comfort in her children and in the babe - she was quite lonely in the Red Keep as she was amicable with Rhaenyra but unable to fully reunite with Rhaenyra until this pregnancy which had brought them closer to one another. Alicent did not care for Rhaenyra’s children not being Laenor Velaryon’s as Rhaenyra had often come to her and prayed with her so that she may no longer be plagued with her illnesses and for her to be able to bring forth a healthy child once more.

Rhaenyra had come to Alicent’s birthing chambers when the hour turned grim and she weakened under the care of the Maesters - Viserys had been overwhelmed with grief that he was about lose yet another Queen to the battlefield that was the birthing chamber. Princess Rhaenyra held her hand as the maesters stood frantic in the room and Viserys pondered the future within the small council. The former hand Otto Hightower was said to have entered the Sept. from the dawn when Alicent’s labours started and prayed there until the end of her labours - 18 hours later, only stepping away for a bit to receive updates on his daughter and her health.

The young Prince Aegon II (5) and Princess Helaena (3) were brought to hug their mother when the maesters feared the worst - in those 18 hours Rhaneyra never left her side, pleading to her Gods that her friend would survive the battle that had taken her own mother almost a decade before. At long last, the babe was born to Alicent in the hour of the wolf, the babe was twice as small but more than twice as fierce as Helaena and Aegon had been - greeting the room with shouts and cries as Alicent lay on the bed grateful to have survived one more battle and grateful for the health of her son Aemond.

No egg was available to put in Aemond’s cradle, as the last of the eggs had gone to Princess Rhaenyra’s third son Joffrey Velaryon. The Targaryens had to hope that Syrax or Dreamfyre, who Helaena had just recently claimed in her trip to the dragonpit, would bring forth new eggs for future Targaryen children. Aegon has his Sunfyre, Helaena had claimed Dreamfyre, and both Rhaenyra’s sons Jacaerys (4) and Lucerys (2) had been able to hatch their eggs in the cradle. The hope was that Aemond would get one of the eggs that the she-dragons brought forth or that when he was older he would be able to claim one of the wild dragons in DragonStone.

Prince Aemond Targaryen was Queen Alicent’s most beloved child and grew up dutiful and quiet with a hunger for books. He was beautiful - his older nephews and Aegon had realized as they entered their teen years how other Alphas stared at Aemond who was sure to be an Omega and how they presented him with gifts. Aegon had his hands full with Helaena and Aemond, someone had to protect them as Viserys weakened and ignored his children in favor of Rhaenyra and her sons.

————————————————————————

Alpha Lucerys (18) had seen Alpha Aegon (21) pull his younger brother Omega Aemond (16) into his chambers from the corner and had sprinted down the hall to open the doors with a loud growl erupting from his throat. Aemond was his, even if he did not know it yet - and it was not proper that Aegon had taken him, a newly presented omega, to his rooms - brother or not.

“You know you can knock right? What if we had been naked ? ” Aegon said in the bored tone as he looked up from his desk. Aemond wide-eyed gaze stared at Lucerys from the chair next to Aegon and Lucerys looked him up and down checking to make sure not a single hair was out of place and not a button was undone, before he grabbed Aegon harshly and pushed him against the wall.

“Aegon - why would you say that?! Lucerys - are you okay?! Let him go! ” Aemond shouted - releasing distressed pheromones in response to Lucerys’ angry ones and Aegon’s rising anger.

“Aegon - I will duel you right now if you do not explain yourself ! Aemond should not be here - you dishonor him and put his reputation into question!“ Lucerys shouted as he pressed Aegon into the wall harsher. Aemond was attempting to push Lucerys away from Aegon which angered him even further - because why was Aemond trying to protect him? Did Aemond have feelings for Aegon? Lucerys would have to kill him if that was the case - Aemond was not allowed to have feelings for anyone but him.

“Lucerys - Aemond is MY brother and MY responsibility - this and he should not concern you” Aegon responded angrily as he shoved Lucerys back. Aemond quickly put himself between Lucerys and Aegon in an attempt to stop them from fighting once more. Only serving to anger Lucerys even more, but he refused to take another step because he knew Aemond would then trade blows with him in defense of Aegon and he packed a mean punch.

“But if you must know so bad why Aemond is in here! My mother has put together a tournament so that Aemond’s suitors may come to Kings Landing and present Aemond with gifts and so that they may court him! Aemond and I are going over the list of Alphas that I stole so that he may chose” Aegon all but yelled as Aemond pointedly looked at the ground.

“I had wanted to see who my mother had vetted for me - she had been corresponding for months with the head and heirs of houses in the Reach and in the North and in Dorne and who knows where. I would like to meet the Alphas” Aemond said quietly as Lucerys stared at him intensely and pondered on what was said. Aemond had actually wanted to meet other Alphas?? How dare Alicent focus on Aemond’s mating when Aegon and Helaena remained unbonded and free! Lucerys had thought he had more time. Aemond had made shy eye contact with Lucerys and Lucerys felt himself wanting to take Aemond on Arrax at the moment and fly to DragonStone and marry him in the Valyrian custom. There was no need for Aemond to meet new Alphas if Lucerys was here. No need for him to grace them with his time if him and Aemond had been companions since they were children. No need for other titles if Lucerys was Lord of the Tides and Aemond could inherit the Driftmark throne with him. No need if he could marry his Uncle and have more dragon riders with Aemond’s coloring and his features. Aemond who seeked him once they were done training, Aemond who seeked him when they were done with Septa classes, Aemond who read to him underneath the trees as he followed the older boy after breakfast, Aemond who seeked him after he presented.

Had his mother put him on the list? Rhaenyra knew of his secret infatuation with Aemond - since they were children - she had to have put him in on the list for the Omega.

Aegon smiled - which was enough trouble as he realized Lucerys had not expected Aemond to start courting as soon as he presented. Glancing at the list while Aemond and Lucerys seemed entranced in a staring contest and with harsh whispers as Lucerys demanded Aemond tell him who he thought was adequate. Truly Lucerys was to lose him if he couldn’t tell Aemond about his infatuation with him and stop acting like an overprotective brother - Aemond already had Aegon - he did not need another person trying to ‘brother’ him. He knew Lucerys intentions were not purely brotherly but also knew he would’ve put a stop to it if Aemond didn’t also have feelings for this Strong boy.

Scanning through the names, he saw both familiar ones and unfamiliar ones with ages and territories owned. His mother was a smart women, he reckoned. She had chosen not only Alphas close to Aemond’s age but also Alphas who could provide Aemond with the same lifestyle as he currently had. Opportunity to rise and bear children who will be heads of important houses and to be possibly happy. Frankly, he was happy his mother was focused on Aemond more than him or Helaena, he did not wish to marry and Helaena just wanted to run around the Keep and collect insects - they would be unhappy. He skimmed through another name and came to a shocking halt. He would’ve never expected that one to be on this list but it was the best offer possible.

“Hey Lucerys! You are on the list as well! It seems Rhaenyra had put you in consideration!” Aegon exclaimed as both Lucerys and Aemond turned to look at him. Slowly reddening, Lucerys sheepishly smiled at Aemond while Aemond turned as red as the raspberries he liked to eat. Aemond was a funny little brother - he would be tough and soft at the same time - you never knew which Aemond you would get. Aemond was fierce in the training yard but talk about feelings and he was blushing and crying - he sure loved his little brother and wow, their pale coloring really made them look rough when they reddened. Aegon let the words sink in to the boys in front of him before continuing his exclamation.

“Lucerys, I would like to - “ Aemond started but Aegon immediately interrupted - he refused to have Aemond confess before knowing of his other offers and meeting the other Alphas - he deserved to make the choice knowing it all.

“However, it seems not just one Velaryon boy is not on the list - Jacaerys and Joffrey are here as well!” Aegon all but shouted while smiling deviously at Lucerys whose face dropped immediately as anger consumed him once more.

“Brother you can be King Consort - it is the best offer - your children will be Kings! Rhaenyra has written that Jacaerys has had affection for you since you were claimed SilverWing”

Wow…Aegon did not think Jacaerys and Rhaenyra had it in him… Rhaenrya was smart for entering all three boys - she had not known which one Aemond had liked but knew if either one of them was chosen - their ascent to their inheritances would not be put into question with a royal omega by their side. He knew then that Rhaenyra had to have been rooting for Jace to win Aemond’s hand as it would support his claim to the throne and by extension Hers because quite a few houses were loyal to Otto Hightower and seeing his blood on the throne would keep him loyal. Aemond would help Jace more than Lucerys who could marry Rhaena and secure Driftmark. Lucerys, seemed to reach the same conclusion as he had, and released his angry pheromones so quick that Aemond who was still sensitive was cowering which was enough to have Aegon step in.

“Lucerys you need to leave my chambers and leave me and my brother - I have excused your rude entrance and putting your hands on me but if you keep scaring my brother - I will fight you” Aegon said seriously as he stepped in the middle of Aemond and Lucerys.

Lucerys took one last glance at Aemond and stormed out of Aegon’s rooms - most likely on his way to search for his mother and his brothers. Lucerys had fire pulsing in his veins - he would kill Jacaerys before he even got a chance to claim Aemond - should Aemond chose him.

Aemond would be his.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Living Pictures | BODY BACK Update #1

A writing update??? In THIS economy???

Paying homage to my old writing updates, except we're getting 10x more self-indulgent. Let's talk about falling back in love with characters, orbital chapter structures, Harrison's messy redemption, God as memory, and of course, the first chapter of my novella, BODY BACK. With lots of excerpts of course. 😈

Post starts under the cut!

BODY BACK background:

Here's a summary if you missed the chaotic conception of BODY BACK: it's a literary fiction novella that occurs between a duology I wrote a few years ago (book 1 is Moth Work and book 2 is Feeding Habits). The duology follows two men, Lonan and Harrison, who are at the centre of a very complicated relationship.

I talked in depth about this project's conception in THIS post, but the gist is that I re-read Moth Work recently and was so enthralled by Harrison's psychology that I had to extend his story.

This was the first nugget of BB:

[ID: BODY BACK: Harrison's novella in the two months he lived in Las Vegas, 2005 (Oct-Sept, between the events of FH in 2006). Energy: bad decisions, lots of parties, self-destruction but make it glitzy. /end ID]

Logline: It’s 2005 in Las Vegas and 21-year-old Harrison is tired of routines, of gods, of men. On a mission to move past a complicated breakup, he’s about to get recklessly indulgent–and he’s come to the right place.

I'm honestly shocked, but deeply grateful to be writing this project. The last time I wrote a writing update, I'd been deeply struggling with Feeding Habits, and also hated Harrison as a character (shock!). Of course, he was still my baby, but at the time, I just could NOT crack his psychology. It took a full year to really come to terms with where he was in FH, and BB is almost an opportunity to "redo" what I wish I could've given him initially. So BB feels like a redemption for me as much as a redemption for him (albeit... he does zero redeeming in this book lmao).

I think I'm in love... with Harrison

Characterization is complicated for me. I don't think I'm particularly good at it because I have no idea how I characterize. However, BB has been such a wonderful way to fall back in love with Harrison (more than I already admire him as a fictional person in my brain lol). While I've been writing with him becoming a better person in Seventh Virtue, BODY BACK is the opposite of that. He's in his destructive era and knows it. And it's only making me love him more!

In BODY BACK, Harrison is painfully aware of who he is as a person, but simultaneously extremely destabilized in his identity. He understands he's a disaster, but also doesn't know how to be anything else (or what he was before), now that Lonan is no longer in his life. At the end of Moth Work, he willingly walked out of Lonan's life, aware this was what was best for himself. BODY BACK explores what it means to regret the "right" decision. Grey areas, wooohooo!

A smaller note that maybe only means a lot to me, but Harrison & I are the same age in this book! I've never been the same age as one of my protagonists, and maybe I'm being mushy about it, but I feel like I really... get where he is right now. We've always been similar (except he's you know... much cooler than me), but it feels like a real blessing to see him in this state (lmao *fucked up*) while also this age.

Living Pictures

We open BB with "Living Pictures," which is about Harrison perceiving his life as separate from himself, a carefully constructed veneer that he's merely watching.

Thematically, "Living Pictures" is about falsities and also how easily people can fall into--and be trapped by--roles. Harrison also thinks a lot about gods, which is interesting for his psychology because he's an atheist. However, his contemplations of God are deeply rooted in what God means to Lonan, who's an ex-Catholic. I've had a lot of fun exploring these themes also as an ex-Catholic. It's been quite cathartic to recall my memories of God, project them onto Harrison through Lonan, and then have him bastardize them.

The title comes from the literal translation of the phrase "tableau vivant" which appears in the opening paragraph.

Scene A:

Harrison floats fully-clothed in a pool that belongs to a wealthy couple. He is jaded and also thinking about God.

Scene B:

Harrison describes the couple who own the house/pool. The man is a realtor, and the woman stays at home mostly, but walks dogs on the side.

Scene C:

Harrison contemplates his "easy" Las Vegas life since moving in with his mother, Suzanna.

Scene D:

Flashback: Harrison recalls drawing his new sort-of boyfriend, Jeremiah.

Scene E:

Harrison describes his vices (smoking and his ex, Lonan lmao, comparable)

Scene F:

Harrison recalls a recurring dream/nightmare of his aforementioned ex.

Scene G:

Distracted by the dream, Harrison is caught by the couple. The man seems unimpressed by him, though the woman (Sadie), perhaps realizing how young he is, invites him inside for tea.

Scene H:

Harrison observes the couple's "catalogue" home while Sadie makes tea.

The writing process & orbital structures

This first chapter took about two weeks to draft start to finish. Total word count is at about 3k. The scenes are very short, almost like vignettes!

Across MW and FH and BB, I use what I call an "orbital plot structure." I've been using this method for years now for this particular duology.

Essentially, we have a core theme (the "satellite") that every single scene "orbits" around. Here's a horrific drawing of what that visually looks like in my head:

Instead of thinking as these chapters as a three-act structure, I think about them on a deeply thematic level. What is the core of this chapter, and how does every single scene lead back to that core theme?

If this diagram is unreadable, dw, I'll make a video explaining this soon, LOL.

Excerpts

I've shared a number of these, but enjoy this repeated content! Also this is... most of the chapter LOL. I'm going for this extremely shimmery prose style to mimic Harrison's mindset.

Here's the opening scene, which is... the best opening I have ever written LMAO. CW: blasphemy??? So sorry.

Harrison doesn’t need a god. Fully clothed in a stranger’s pool, he pities people who do. So what if he’s alone? The sunless sky is carbonated with stars, another stranger’s backyard smelling like burned cedarwood and marijuana. And he likes it here, star-fished on water that doesn’t belong to him, inventing constellations while someone else’s cigarette hangs from his lip. What god could manage this miracle? Take this drowsy tableau vivant: a man cloaked both by the sky’s navy and his own jacket’s leather, his eyes as wide as spoons. Harrison is fine art and God isn’t. He wins.

Here's a chunk of Scene B:

This isn’t the first time he’s done this. This means a couple of things: 1) challenging God and all his righteousness, and 2) breaking into the pools of wealthy suburbanites. The latter really isn’t that hard. Since mid-September, he’s stalked the houses plotted along Paradise and learned routines. This is even easier—people who fringe their homes with crisp lawns often stick to the same schedule. The pool he floats in belongs to a young couple. The man works real estate according to the signs Harrison’s seen of his face peppered around the neighbourhood. He’s wondered if that’s ever humiliating, to constantly see pixelated versions of yourself everywhere. But that doesn’t matter. His wife walks dogs in her free time, which means always. Last week, Harrison watched her jog with a vizsla, and just yesterday she spent the morning on their gable-roofed veranda brushing a wispy Alaskan malamute.

Here's the entirety of Scene C (CW: suicidal ideation):

Technically, everything in Harrison’s life is easy. He lives in an easy apartment, sleeps on his mother’s easy chesterfield, eats over easy eggs for breakfast, watches easy infomercials every night from midnight to 3:00AM. (Technically, the infomercials aren’t necessarily easy because he watches them in French without subtitles, but it’s entertaining to make up slogans: Cut Away Your Problems with Our Wrapping Paper Cutter! Yeehaw!, so he doesn’t really mind.) And he’s grateful for this, how unassuming his life has become barely a month after Lonan. Perhaps this is how he views things, in two simple parts—not Before Christ, but Before Lonan, which now that he considers it, might be the same thing. Anyway. Before his fawny portrait face, just like Renaissance men in oil on canvas. Before his blunt hands. Before his raven hair, glassy as dark water. Now there’s only one place left to go: after. And how can Harrison complain? His easy mother has insured his easy sedan which means he could get around the city easily if he wanted to. She’s even offered to use her easy money to set him up in his own easy apartment— “Imagine the view!” she’d said as a selling point. And Harrison did. As Suzanna unclogged the kitchen drain, he painted an easy coastline in watercolour and surrendered to the image of his easy, independent life. Easy trees like the date palms pinched against this couple’s home. Easy skies, never a cloud in an easy haven of blue. Easy walk to an organic farmer’s market for easy pancetta if he wants it, or easy cinnamon butter that he has no purpose for, so eats straight from the jar. Easy morning coffee in an easy alternative garden right out his back door, easy sand where there should be golden columbine, easy gravel where there should be soil. And the easy neighbours to greet—them going, “Hello!” and then him going, “Hello!”

Harrison doesn’t like easy. He’d rather walk all the way back to Brooklyn with nothing but an empty backpack and a sleeve of cigarettes, scale a silverish high-rise with his bare hands, struggle onto the vacant roof, stare out at the blinking, vulgar city, then climb onto the building’s railings, let the wind ripple his jacket, his hair, and jump right off.

Here's some of Scene D, ft. Jeremiah:

The cigarettes belong to another man. As Harrison sucks its filter, blowing out remaining plumes of smoke, he’s enthralled by him. Skin velveteen, hair always tediously puffed like dandelions. Jeremiah is more than a man in Harrison’s eyes, the way he speaks like a cross between the frontman of a nineties alternative band and John the Baptist. “You’ve got the soul of a cypress,” he said once, while Harrison sketched the fake rhododendron perched on Jeremiah’s nightstand. He crouched lower over his sketchbook, fingers blackened by a slim rod of charcoal.

This is also from Scene D, ft. Harrison being an Artiste. Screaming at the last line:

Jeremiah quirked a brow, his smile dopey like his glazed eyes, but didn’t move. He could’ve been one of those tawny art mannequins, flat-faced, poseable. But he was so much more than that. As Harrison approached him, setting his sooty hands on his chin, shifting it slightly to the left, pushing his ring finger slightly up so it eclipsed the koi’s eye, his silver signet ring pinging a circle of light onto the opposite wall, Harrison understood Jeremiah wasn’t just a model. More than a man, yes, but not a god either—the creator’s creator, maybe, or perhaps a private natural wonder meant only for this room. Or maybe he was just beautiful, and that was enough too.

Harrison continues to reflect about God (also CW: blasphemy!!!):

In the pool, he doesn’t look at the moon because how cliché would that be? So what if it’s a wide bend in the sky like the parenthesis of cantaloupe his mother ate for breakfast this morning? So what if it looks also like a good bite in a wrist, molars and all? He’s not in this pool to be poetic. He doesn’t care about godly creations, miracles, divine epiphanies. Sure, God said let there be light, but why should Harrison give a fuck? He’s not a romantic. He’s not a dreamer. Not anymore.

This is the entirety of Scene F, which is a direct continuation from the above. I love how the "dreaming" element is immediately brought over.

There’s this one dream though. It hovers over him nightly, a thorny memory warmed by sun. He holds a face like a sculptor holds a brick of clay. This is a face he knows. A face he loves. Soft light dredges both their jaws, firm and ready to rear into the other’s, two animals feeding, or laughing, or breathing. Sometimes, the dreams add birdsong, sometimes a black cat named Beatrice who mews in the corner. Sometimes, the face’s hands become Harrison’s hands, and he searches for his own pinkie to find someone else’s. They don’t need to touch more than this. Even as the sun hazes the room gold, looking is more than enough. Are there mirrors in his eyes? Harrison isn’t always certain. Is he a mirage? He could be—a chromized distant object. He’s a masterpiece in some moments, a man growing into soapstone, buffed marble. Sometimes he’s haloed like Jesus in citrine stained-glass portraits. A saviour, mid-ascension, a shadow of flesh. But sometimes he’s just there, wide-eyed, a simple body. In those cases, Harrison wakes up screaming.

This is from the beginning of Scene G:

Sure, he is a floaty man in this pool, his clothes bloomed around him. He could be petals of blood dispersing in open water, or the unspooling ribbon on a Maypole. His cigarette has burned down nearly to his knuckle, smoke chalk white and feathery like cirrus clouds.

Just going to leave this extremely Lonancore excerpt here:

And then a voice. At first he thinks it might be Lonan’s. One of the last things he’d said: How long will you be gone? Gone. How easily Harrison had stood in that apartment, aware of what he’d do just like he was aware of the mouth Lonan had touched the night before, the palms Lonan had imprinted with his own like Eucharist imprints a tongue before being swallowed.

(????? bruh ???)

This paragraph continues the previous:

And then he’s gasping on water, and there’s the voice again, and it’s not a friable whisper but a shout. “Who the hell are you?” it’s saying over and over again, a godless prayer, except scratch that—when God speaks, he does it with violence.

And the end of Scene G:

Harrison is dragged out of the water by the realtor like he’s a plastic bobber attached to the end of a hook. His cigarette butt smolders in his hand, curlicues of white trimming the tarry night. On the concrete pool deck, he coughs water, the world spitting around him like a skipping VHS. His soaked hair drips into his eyes, down his mouth, half his weight bent on his wrist, his waterlogged jacket heavy like a body on his shoulders.

The man’s got a bony hand hooked around his collar and hides his struggle to let go with more shouting, something about grabbing a home phone, about police, about changing the locks. Really, Harrison should care more, but he’s focused on the man’s drawn face. He looks different than he does in his signs around the neighbourhood, his thin mouth clefted, his hair mousy without its Dippity Do shell. Did his wife fall in love with him, or the glossy image in the ads?

The man is trying to yank him up by the arm, manages to get halfway before Harrison says, “You’re the guy in the ads,” his voice hoarse as he wipes a hand over his slack mouth. And this must be surprising to him because the man immediately loses his grip. Harrison could ask him about that—why expect not to be noticed if your face is everywhere?

“What did you say?” asks the man. What’s his name? Something generic, but with an edge. Trevor Slade. Sean Horton. Brody Spencer. A gingery light pulses behind his head—a lamppost from the street. Harrison pants like one of the woman’s dogs. If he were a dog breed, which one would he be? Mastiff, German shepherd, golden retriever? He’s about to ask when the woman speaks first.

She’s got that same rainy look in her eye from before, a pointed pity that’s soft at the edges like highlight bloom. “Do you want to come inside for some tea?” 

In Scene F, Harrison dangerously flirts with the idea of being punched in the face:

“I like your place,” Harrison says, pinching the ceramic kitten that sits on the coffee table. This isn’t a lie unlike everything else he’s told them—his name is Harold Fraser, and the number Sadie dialed into their home phone is his personal assistant’s, not his mother’s. In here, the walls are tangelo orange, each entryway arched instead of severely right-angled. Suz would like the warm wood, the army of rubbery philodendrons on the windowsills. Harrison cranes his finger up the kitten’s paw, as if shaking its hand. Across its domed belly, translucent letters: JESUS IS STILL THE ANSWER.

“Don’t break that,” says the man, whose name is actually Nash Baker.

Harrison quirks a brow, his mouth twitchy. In five minutes, he’ll need another cigarette. “Family heirloom?”

“Do you take any sugar?” asks Sadie, perhaps at the right time because Nash Baker’s fist is agitating like a fighter fish’s tail through water. Harrison wouldn’t blame him if he did punch him in the face—to be frank, that would be the most interesting thing to happen to him all week.

Harrison relates to Sadie's apparent feelings of being trapped in a picturesque life:

Sadie walks dogs, sure, but what else does she do? A beaded tapestry of a blue heron hangs in the foyer—did she make it? The bird’s eye is onyx black, something unfurling there—maybe the urge to spear a minnow, maybe just deadness. If Sadie didn’t make it, what did she do in this house? Nearly everything is handmade but certainly purchased—the pottered mugs shaped like seasonal fruit that she vigorously plops teabags into, the rust Chobi rug that snags under Harrison’s socks, the ringed vases fluted with dead baby’s breath. How does she know life in this catalogue home? Besides the numbing daily walks with dogs, the repetitive brushings. She’s as fucked as he is, isn’t she? Trapped in this living picture.

And finally, another mildly blasphemous excerpt! We return to the "easy" metaphor from above.

Tomorrow, Harrison will again wake up in Suz’s easy apartment, eat her easy turkey bacon, drink an easy cup of dark roast. He’ll do this for the rest of his life, probably. For Yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever, amen. Harrison’s got no kingdom. The best he can do is steal Jeremiah’s cigarettes, float in an aquamarine pool that doesn’t belong to him any more than Lonan’s aquamarine eyes ever belonged to him. He’s got no more power than a dead car battery, no glory. That’s right. Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever amen.

Harrison, basically:

And that's it! Chapter two is going to contain the trigger into destruction territory, so look out for update #2!

Rachel

[muffinninjafairy]

Life Update

Oh my goodness, to be quiet frank I have no idea when was the last time I have actually sat down and made a text post. I one day was going through my archives and everything that was going on in my personal life from over a decade ago and never really spoke about what happened to me from then to now... so I guess I will.

I've personally have been more active socially on discord, and more so been using my socials as platforms for my work, but I also remembered , this is my blog so I'm gonna blog. I have no clue how many people from all those years ago are still on here but if you are, I hope all is well.

TIME CAPSULE TIME~ (These are all summaries of the time minimizing details because of personal reasons) I guess I would say my activity started to become less and less as of like 2015 - 2016, Like I was on here, but mostly reblogging and running off. To put it in the frankest of terms, I was having a sever mental episodes during that time frame. With a lot of personal situations happening with my family and not being in a healthy environment to properly regulate my emotions nor the proper support system to help me with what I was going through.

On July 11th 2015 I was admitted to the hospital for a mental breakdown that caused me to be taken away via ambulance. There I was diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar 1 (manic depressive episodes) . The health care system where I came from was not at all great, my phycologist over medicated me to the point where I would have black out spells and seizers (then given medication for those seizers) . My family still then refused to support me and so I clung to what ever I could for validation. As a result of this I tried to become hyper independent.

Months after being released from the hospital I moved out of my house and with an old high school buddy and their partner. Then after I entered a long distance relationship. Which in toe turned very toxic very fast. But being blinded by my BPD, I stuck with it for 2.5 years.

In February of the next year I was kicked out of my roommates apartment because of my job being closed down and had no income. So I was forced to move back home with my father. In those years from 2016 - 2018 felt like my absolute rock bottom, I would have extended periods of time where I never left the house and hid in my room. In fear of the world around me. My relationship was not helping if not hurting me more and more. They did not care about me or what was going on, only what they wanted out of the relationship. My father was becoming more and more verbally abusive and felt that I deserved nothing. I did have a new job then too but it was a dead end job and was paying very little (8.25$ an hour when I left I was being paid 10$ an hour)

2018 comes around, this is where I feel things starting to change, I met my DnD Group (March 2018) at this time but because of the toxicity of my ex, they left me because I would no longer isolate myself and wanted friends. (May 2018) Time goes by, me and the DM of the DnD start becoming closer and start our relationship in Sept. 21, 2018.

2019 Comes by and I get hit with reality, I need help. My episodes were coming back and I was hurting those around me, So finally I pulled my boot straps and looked for professional help. Once I found the therapist for me, I started to improve, my relationship with my partner and my friends increased in strength. I was still having problems at home with my family, but came to the realization that if they didn't want to be part of my healing journey then they didn't need to.

2020 is here and me and my partner are becoming serious, to the point of planning our future together. we scrounged and saved until the end of the year where we finally had enough to move in together in a new state. I quit my dead end job, and sent my stuff across country.

In Febuary of 2021 I finally said goodbye to my home and my partner and I moved to their grandmothers home temporarily until we secured an apartment. Once we did we collected everything and with the moving truck we drove to our new home.

we have been here ever since and I could not be happier. I have had a stable job for 2 years now, I've also been promoted within the company, I can actually go out now with out having an anxiety attack, I have friends both online and IRL, I have been in a 5 year relationship and still striving for the future. I can finally be myself without having to hide away in a room for years. I can actually be independent. It took some time but I feel much more mentally healthy.

Long Story Short: For a very long time I was stunted by my environment and did not have tools properly to grow until one day I was allowed to. Now I'm doing much more positive things for myself and receiving the support I needed. I am loved and cared for. Life can get better. I am doing a lot better.

I honestly do not know how many people are still here that knew me during this time period . But I am alive, healthy, and being the best I can be.

I also don't know why I felt the need to explain my life, I guess reflecting from then to now. I guess I wanted to share my progression cause I am proud of who I am now. And if throwing it into this void and someone sees this. Hope this lets you know that things can get better.

Love you cuties Shaylee

[rachellaurengray]

March 2nd Horoscope Forecast

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Weigh the pros and cons before you sign up for something. Your generous nature will get you in trouble if you are too accommodating. Take time to nurture yourself and meaningful relationships instead of trying to impress an outsider. Romance is in the stars.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You can achieve what you set out to do if you are practical and use your talents, experience and knowledge skillfully. Don’t let temptation lead you astray or allow someone’s manipulative tactics to cost you. Stick to your original plans.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Target what you want to accomplish, and don’t stop until you reach your goal. Refuse to let anyone obstruct your plans or tempt you using false information. It’s up to you to believe in yourself. Put your energy where it counts.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Control your emotions. Don’t waste precious time getting upset over trivial matters. Walk away from unsavory situations and toward people who offer new possibilities. Create what you want to happen and leave the past behind.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You can have fun without overspending. Participate in something that allows you to use your physical and mental skills to impress someone you want to get to know better. A job offer looks promising, and a financial improvement is within reach. Love is in the stars.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You’ll encounter someone or something that gives you hope for a better future. Discussions will encourage you to learn something new or hone a rusty skill. Don’t let criticism stand in your way. Turn something you enjoy doing into a lucrative pastime.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Put more time and effort into making your home welcoming. Entertaining or participating in something that brings you in contact with people you enjoy being around will offer insight into new opportunities.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Common sense, patience and handling matters yourself will pay off. Take it easy, stick close to home and find novel ways to lower your overhead or make some extra cash selling off things you no longer need. Avoid no-win situations.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Protect your assets, health and emotional well-being. Don’t let anyone dictate how to proceed. Don’t fold under pressure when it’s up to you to put your plans in motion and do what’s best for you. Put yourself first.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Use your connections and intelligence to get what you desire. Stop saying yes when you want to say no. Live up to your expectations, not someone else’s. Rid yourself of dead weight and empty promises.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Decide what’s best for you instead of letting someone dictate what you do next. Overloading your roster with projects that don’t interest you to please someone else will set you back and cause frustration. Choose the path that excites you most.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don’t hesitate. You have plenty to gain if you trust your instincts and voice your opinion. Don’t let anyone tamper with your confidence or talk you into doing something that benefits them more than you. Advocate for yourself.